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#credit to michael for the fast joke
problemcore · 2 years
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hot singles in your area !!!111 we fast this kippur for HER sins
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chaifootsteps · 8 months
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Oh god. That clip.
1. Is that a bad Michael Kovach impression they were going for with Angel Dust? Because damn.
2. More sex jokes. Yay. Intelligent content.
3. No Ed Bosco listed in the voice credits. Alastor is going to join the generic club along with Charlie and Lucifer.
4. A blatant rip-off of Wicked concerning the flavor of the song itself.
5. Why are the character designs so stiff-looking in this? And why does the animation move so fast it gives you a seizure?
I don’t know my fellows. I feel like the hype train has well and truly left the station (for me personally). I’m actually starting to feel genuine disappointment over all we’re seeing!
- Taxidermy Anon
A part of me was prepared for the possibility that somehow, in spite of it all, it might turn out to be good. But this ain't good, folks.
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milli0n-dollar-fool · 11 months
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spoilers
since mr gaiman said we could maybe write our notes as we watch each episode i’m going to start doing that because i need to understand what happened the whole season LMAO im so distracted by ep*s*d* s*x
Episode 1 – The Arrival
The thing Crowley is holding looks like the thing he used to stop time
His hair is GORGEOUS
He’s so bubbly and wholesome
Aziraphale didn’t know he was helping to make the stars
This is why Crowley wanted so badly to go to the stars with Aziraphale last season
Crowley sort of refers to Aziraphale as kind of below him? Like rank-wise (note Aziraphale is a cherub?)
Aziraphale looked so hopeful introducing himself to Crowley then he doesn’t even tell him his name LMAO
HIS EXCITED SQUEAL
Is this how he wanted to watch the world go in season 1? From space with Aziraphale?
Not aziraphale thinking Crowley was referring to him with the “look at you, you’re gorgeous”
“and I think you’ve done an excellent job” shoot me now
So this is what Crowley is like with a will to live (JOKING)
“stars everywhere” didn’t he say that in the “what are they putting in bananas these days”
Help the music sliding down when aziraphale breaks the news I didn’t notice that before
Crowley’s face
‘call it a nebula’ HE’S SO PROUD OF IT
‘if I was the one running it all’ *immediately looks around nervously*
‘how much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions’ honey you’ve got a big storm coming
THE STARS RAINING AND THE WING AHHHHHH
Love David tennant getting his name before Michael sheen in the credits
We didn’t see the blimps or raining rabbits in this season – s3?
Switched little sign thingies
THE SIGN CROWLEY WROTE ABOUT CLOSING TIMES AHH
“hello Maggie” HIS VOICE IS SO GENTLE
“what if I were to take these Shostakovich records without paying for him” HE SAYS IT SO MISCHIEVIOUSLY  
Also I love some of shostakovich’s pieces
“I’m very good at forgiveness, it’s one of my favourite things” PARALLEL TO “I FORGIVE YOU” RAHHH
I like how you can see crowleys eyes behind his sunglasses
“frozen peas” he’s not letting down his man aziraphale
She has her order memorized AHRIOAA
Head empty no thoughts goob intro
HELP ME THE BARE HUG SQUEEZE I WOULD RATHER DIE
STOP LOOKING UP AND DOWN AZIRAPHALE
‘near one particular person’ ‘no certainly not’ bffr
Was the something terrible thing heaven hunting him down
His smirk at “his royal smugness is in trouble that’s so sad” AHHHH
“you’re funny. I love you” hello?
The fly in the box heh
Aww his face after ‘what box’
I will die for Muriel  
TONE OF VOICE
“go back a long time’ ok
‘because there’s a naked man there?’ JEALOUSSSS
“is it something I can help you with?’ JEALOUSSSS
So like we were right about Crowley eating/drinking really fast
“purely selfish action’ not very angelic of you
I wonder what the rest of his keys are for
HIM PUTTING HIS GLASSES ON THE HORSE LMAO
“ask him properly” I jumped
“I am dusting” HE JUMPED LMAO
Dartmoor sherlock reference I see you
Arguing 25 minutes into the show I see
‘precious, peaceful, fragile’ man
‘if you refuse to help me you’re at liberty to go’ paralleling ep*s*d* s*x is gut wrenching  
“no, I would love you to help me” im crying he really is picking up the pace
How long was that blue car out there for  
Ngl him smiting everywhere was kinda
“you’re misunderstanding me uriel” “im understanding you very well. You think somebody should be giving orders and that someone is you” PARALLEL TO THE END
I unironically love Michael
Crowley looks so tired in his Bentley :(
For a sec I thought we were going to get traitor traitor Crowley  
The way he sprawls lmao
Beelzebub trying to find the man theyre down bad for lmao
The way they converse comfortably instead of Crowley being afraid of Beelzebub  
Aww Maggie being sheltered :(
GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY
“theres only room for one of us in this lane and it’s not you” crying
I love how nina remembers people based off their coffee order – That’s Mr Six Shots of Expresso
“my bad” aww
The way he was listing when he did the I was wrong dance WHAT HAPPENED
Were those the years of the flashbacks I’ll check later (1650, 1793, 1941)
I love the dance I need the backstory
“very nice” rolling
“together” im crying
Parenting is going well
‘it would barely move the dials’ okay
They look so determined
Their smiles when they thought they did the miracle right aww
And theres the end of the episode folks what do we think
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BARBIE (2023)
Starring Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling, America Ferrera, Kate McKinnon, Issa Rae, Rhea Perlman, Will Ferrell, Hari Nef, Alexandra Shipp, Emma Mackey, Sharon Rooney, Dua Lipa, Nicola Coughlan, Ana Cruz Kayne, Ritu Arya, Kingsley Ben-Adir, Simu Liu, Scott Evans, Ncuti Gatwa, John Cena, Michael Cera, Ariana Greenblatt, Jamie Demetriou, Connor Swindells, Emerald Fennell, Ann Roth, Annie Mumolo, Marisa Abela and the voice of Helen Mirren.
Screenplay by Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach.
Directed by Greta Gerwig.
Distributed by Universal Pictures. 114 minutes. Rated PG-13.
Seeing Barbie hot on the heels of Oppenheimer, I have to admit I have a bit of whiplash. Not that both aren’t fine films (although Oppenheimer is the better of the two), but still I can’t imagine two more polar opposite potential blockbusters being released on the same weekend. In fact, the two are so wildly different while going against each other that the media has taken to referring to this as the “Barbenheimer” weekend.
It even makes a certain amount of business sense – talk about counter-programming – but after the deep, intense, depressing browns and moral ambivalence of Oppenheimer, the wild, hot pink, positive, surreal girl power celebration of Barbie is a bit of a shock to the system. And it’s a damned good movie, at least until 2/3 of the way into the screentime when the idea slightly gets away from director Greta Gerwig and her co-screenwriter Noah Baumbach. The overcooked ending doesn’t ruin the film by any means, but the movie ends up not quite sticking the landing – just like Ken. (You’ll understand that joke when you see the movie.)
Barbie is still a very fun movie, but the first hour or so was so much more than just that.  
The movie’s finest point is the brilliant, spot-on casting of Margot Robbie in the plastic shoes and dream house of America’s favorite doll. Robbie captures the perky and perfect representation of Barbie’s “stereotypical” beauty and the sweet, naïve hopefulness of the character of a woman who never has had to experience change or conflict. She is perfect in the role. I’m not sure if anyone could have captured the play toy better.
Which does not mean that Barbie is not allowed her own complexities, in fact that’s the whole point of the film. What happens when during a perfect fantasy life doubts and flaws start to intrude? What if she starts thinking of death, stops standing on her tiptoes and even (gasp!) starts showing the first early signs of cellulite?
What if she has to leave Barbieland and go to the real world to find out what exactly is happening to her, only to find out that reality is nothing like she imagined? And what if she is followed by Ken (Ryan Gosling), her needy, friend-zoned “boyfriend” who is seduced by the toxic masculinity of the authentic world (in this case played by Los Angeles)? And how will “real people” react to two walking, talking representations of outdated childhood fantasy?
It's a terrific fish-out-of-water premise. The early scenes in Barbieland, as well as the section when Barbie and Ken try to figure out the very alien areas like Century City and Venice Beach are bright, fast and funny.
Then the film starts to spin out a bit, like Gerwig and Baumbach have painted themselves into a corner that they are not sure how to navigate. The later sections of Barbie lose some of the earlier scenes’ spark, getting both slightly ridiculous and at the same time just a tiny bit sappy. And honestly, the later scenes are not nearly as funny as the earlier ones.
Barbie is sometimes a little heavy-handed in the use of older music to make plot points – the Indigo Girls’ “Closer to Fine” is used repeatedly as an anthem of female empowerment while Matchbox 20’s “Push” is used a few times to signal male aggression – but then again nothing in this film is meant to be in any way subtle. On the plus side, Aqua’s 1990s novelty hit “Barbie Girl” only briefly shows up here in the end credits, and only used as a sample in different song.
Still, even though Barbie does not quite achieve the effortless perfection of Barbieland (or even the effortless perfection of Robbie’s performance), it is still mostly a sweet, fun and funny ride. And America Ferrera’s monologue about the responsibilities of being a woman in the modern world is worth the price of admission all by itself.
Jay S. Jacobs
Copyright ©2023 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: July 21, 2023.
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curuxavermella · 11 months
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LESSON 20 BABY
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Season finale, I think, if the credits at the end are of any hint lol. I expected things to go down south but. Guess not yet.
Lesson 19 ended with quite a happy tune with the brothers up to celebrate their decision and lesson 20 starts with them already going up to Diavolo to give him their answer, all meanwhile reminscing about last night's party where apparently Mammon decided to just strip, lmao. They contemplate for a moment that Diavolo won't let them stay because the Devildom is his domain, after all, and they joke about going to the human realm instead so they don't get separated from Satan and crash in your place instead. Sweats very nervously in I can't have a place to stay because I'm centuries in the past hahaHAAAH.
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Barb tells us to go get Diavolo because this man is already training to avoid his responsibilities for when he has to manage RAD. We got three choices: classroom, colosseum or the courtyard. I chose the courtyard and was blessed by Simeon. Apparently, if you go to the classroom you find Solomon, and Diavolo is on the colosseum.
We only have one choice when talking to them, though, and that is to ask them to be the brothers' allies. Which is no small feat. Simeon could be branded as a traitor for what he says here, but it seems he's fully committing to stay with the brothers this time should something go down. I appreciate it.
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Asking Solomon can't go down well, considering he's on humanity's side and he's tried to get us to swear loyalty to humanity instead of the demon brothers, and Diavolo... well, he admits he can't deny us if we ask him like that, plus we know he has a soft spot for the brothers himself.
Lucifer tells both Diavolo and Raphael their decision, but they have to ask Diavolo for permission to stay, after all. It's his domain.
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Oof.
But Diavolo is one soft demon, and yes, he says he has to look out for his subjects... which is exactly what he's doing. Lucifer and the others are part of the Devildom now, so they're under his protection, and he officially names them the Seven Rulers of the Devildom. Raphael says he kind of saw coming that the brothers would want to stay, and cue me squinting at the screen while remembering how he gave us Michael's message about convincing the brothers to return. C'mon man.
They ask for everyone else's thoughts, and they basically reply that it's none of ther business and they respect the brothers' choice. I found it heartwarming how even if deep down Luke still wants them to go back home, he respects their decision. They grow up so fast sob.
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Next up there's gonna be a celebration, a ball, in fact, to celebrate the seven brothers' new appointments. We get moments divided in goups of three.
First up are Asmo, Beel and Luke, who are preparing for the ball. We get to choose who to help choosing a fragrance. I chose Luke because he's my son and I haven't had a moment with him in ages. Plus he has something to say about Raphael.
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Apparently Raphael fled back. I did not like it, but in the end it was just me being paraoid lol. Ngl I was expecting Michael to send me a message about how he's gonna kick my ass.
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Then comes the carriage. They're wearing the Devilday suits by the way, and look great. I love those suits lol, but anyways, here we can choose who rides with you in the carriage. We have Levi, Belphegor, and Barbatos. I chose Barb, who's aware of the glares he's getting and kisses your hand. This man loves riling everyone up and play innocent lol.
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Sir.
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A bit sad he's wearing the uniform, but eh...
So you get to the castle, all dressed up...
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This absolute bitch.
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Call him out Thirteen!! I love you!!
ANYWAYS.
In their brotherly fashion, during the ball they have a bit of a squabble over who has the first dance with you, because of course they do. In this lesson, we have fighting for your dance Mammon, Satan and Simeon.
I was expecting Lucifer to be there instead, not because I'm biased (I am though, not gonna deny it) but because it would be reminiscent of the og!obm dance where he threatens to end your existence if you are planning to use or hurt his brothers.
They were cruel to put me to choose between those three but in the end I chose Simeon, who decided to give me a bit of a stab of pain.
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Man if only you knew about your present self who's lost his powers because he saved us haha....... ha........
After the dancing, Diavolo wants to give us a special title, recognizing the hard work we put for the brothers and the entire Devildom. I thought he was gonna give mc a cool title, but when he simply stated "you're now officially a Devilsitter" I lost it laughing.
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Thanks.
He asks us to choose one lucky demon to award us the emblem commemorating our new title, and the last three choices are the Big Three: Lucifer, Diavolo and Solomon.
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Well. I didn't hesitate. I feel a bit bad for Solomon, though...
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This was really sweet, though! That the emblem or "mark on the brow" (it's the chapter title too! so it kinda hints at it already) is given with a kiss on the forehead. I think I woke my cat up with the cooing noise I made lol.
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And there they go again, hahah...
But before it all ends, Diavolo goes all out, and not only does he makes an announcement about the founding of RAD, but also-
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-that both Solomon and you are gonna join as exchange students.
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Back all the way to the beginning baby!!
And with no Michael or threats or cliffhanger, lesson 20 is over and credits roll. End of Season 1, it seems!
I lied. After the credits we get this, because we can't catch a break.
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Cool. Great. So the balance is getting worse. I'm gonna assume it's our fault for aiding the brothers here.
We might have avoided Michael this season but I fear he's gonna come for us eventually. Also, during a few seconds after seeing the post credits I thought Michael wanted to restore the balance,,, but then I switched mindsents and thought he actually didn't want to and would rather have the scales to tip in the Celestial Realm's favour instead by bringing the brothers back. I don't know. In any case, this is not the last we're going to hear from him. He's got us in his sights, and doesn't sound good at all.
The extra lesson is Luke catching up to Raphael before he leaves back to the Celestial Realm before the whole ball preparation event.
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Sighs and crosses out "Michael wanted the brothers back to tip the scales". Okay. Fine. He might also miss them a little bit, but my man did not lift a finger to help them, so he can stay up there and rot for all I care.
This part of the convo was more interesting, though.
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Luke comments he wants to help bridge the gap so the angels can be closer to their former brothers, which is admirable, but Raphael is more inclined towards giving that task and role to the humans while telling Luke to be a Principality instead and watch over them.
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This is reminding me of when Simeon and Luke both said they'd be your guardian angels, and according to Mammon (and if I trust my memory), guardian angels choose one person only to guard all their life. I miss the present group. I hope we get to see them soon, at least a glimpse even if we don't go back right away. I bet they're frantic over mc missing still.....
I'd like to dig deeper over principalities because yes mythology but also I'm tired and with geographical principalities screwing my research combined with the little patience my sleepy brain has I just give up for now and will just go to sleep after this soft end for the 1st season. Dunno if we'll have something in 10 days. They certainly didn't say it was the end when the announced the lesson, so who knows? Maybe it's a mini break. Maybe not. We can only wait and see, but if they need a break to write more story at a better pace, I'm all in.
I still have to catch up with the hard mode for those extra scenes and lore, but this is all there is for now regarding main story!
Edit: Hard mode! because HOLY SHIT-
AND WE'RE BAAAACK LESSON 21
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hacked-by-jake · 2 years
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SPOILER
Maybe in the new game they will show us how the fbi ropes jake and the mc into a pretty difficult case. By capturing jake and telling him to solve the case with mc so that he can be released again.
Also entirely unrelated but why the hell did richy cast suspicions on phil if he didnt want him to be arrested?! And also our suspicions became reality as soon as they unveiled richy. He was the most suspicious and yet it was a heartbreaking scene especially when he joked with us! The credits go to Everbyte for making an obvious suspect such a likeable character that when he is revealed to be the culprit we still cant believe it.
But I also felt like the game was incomplete and alot of questions were left unanswered. My opinion is the kidnapping was unnecessary. What did he have to gain from kidnapping hannah? Why did he call us to Grimrock? What was he going to do to us? Was he really going to kill everyone of them or was he scaring them? The pure hatred in his voice when he said that he would kill all of them.. all in all it all felt unnecessary. If he wanted to go and confess he should have told them and done it.
Also really sorry for the long post!!! I was juat so excited to finally finish the episode as my savegame was lost and I had to start from the beginning.
Hey Ho! :D
So yes, first of all I have to say that I also suspect that the new game will be about exactly what you said. I think MC and Jake need to help the FBI, and if they make it, they might leave Jake alone. However, I hope that it will be a really serious case that is so important that Jake is released afterwards. I mean, it would be kind of weird if the case were just an 0815 homicide. Okay, that sounds really weird. xD But I think you all know what I mean.
Yeah, and I just think the problem with Richy is that he did all this because he wanted to blame Michael Hanson in the end. That’s why it was so good to bring Phil in and point the suspicion at him, because Phil might work with Michael Hanson, because they know each other so well. It looked strange because Phil got the bar from Michael, but as we know, Richy didn’t want Phil arrested. I think it was just a distraction from Richy himself. He needed someone else suspicious so we could focus on more things. Finally, Richy has seen how many clues we have collected again and again and how fast.
And yes, the end scene is so incredible, Everbyte has done a terrific job making Richy the MWAF. We were so torn between our hopes, the evidences and the story. Even though I was sure it was Richy, I always doubted until the very end. The character Richy is just incredibly well done and I love it.
And yes, there are actually still some questions to which we have no answer for. But I think this is actually a cool thing because we can now find out many things ourselves through theories etc, as we have always done.
I mean, even if we don’t have confirmation from Everbyte, many are sure that we now know what the number of MC is all about. It was not a mobile phone number but only the number of the bill that Richy lost. Hannah wanted to send them either to Thomas, Jake or Alan and from there everything just went wrong. As I said, this is not confirmed, but that is what makes the most sense.
I just think Richy got more and more into the whole thing until he didn’t know how to get out. So he tried everything possible to get the end he wanted, that he is the hero and everything will be fine. And then MC and Jake came right at the beginning and everything went wrong. Richy just tried everything, but didn’t make it but made everything worse. I think the moment Alfie saw him and when he knew Hannah found the paper, it all went wrong. And it didn’t get any better, so he kind of tried to get out of it, but it didn’t work. So the plan ended the way he wanted it: the MWAF burned in the fire along with his plan.
And who knows, maybe we’ll get some more questions answered in the new game. After all, everything will be fine in the end, and if it’s not fine, it’s not the end. ;)
And don’t worry about the long ask, that’s totally okay, I’m sorry you had to wait so long for an answer. But to be honest, I’m just extremely unsure about Richy, it’s just so confusing. And I am also sorry that my answer was not really helpful, but as you can see, I am simply helpless in some things myself.
And even if the answer comes too late, I’m sorry for you that you had to start again. I think that would have destroyed my whole life.
But thank you for your time and sharing your thoughts with me, it’s really interesting to see what you all think. *-*
Hope you will have a great day/evening/night! <3
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batmanaday · 2 years
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The Batman Season 1
Sorry about the break in updates--I’ve been a little under the weather. But, in the course of babysitting my young niece, I’ve also had an excuse to watch the first season of The Batman.
Now, in the highly niche field of people what are trying to keep small children entertained, I actually think El Batman might outdo Batman TAS. Not to be insulting, but it’s louder, more fast-paced, more colorful, more action, more jokes. Hear me out—I’m not saying that a cartoon about two childhood friends, one of whom grows up to be a hood and the other grows up to be a priest, isn’t ~poetic cinema~. I’m just saying it’s not definitely something a four-year-old is inclined to watch.
(As for her favorite character being the Joker… what can I say, she can’t get it from my side of the family.)
The biggest sin you can lay against The Batman is simply that it’s exactly what it says on the tin: a Batman cartoon. With the bad luck to follow a revolutionary, iconic, character-defining, decades-long run on the character that quite possibly can’t be overshadowed… unless you just do the Diniverse over again without Bruce/Babs or something.
BTAS was a sublime, superlative work. The Batman is a reasonably competent and well-done adaptation that people worked hard on. But how you gonna keep them down on the farm after they’ve listened to Kevin Conroy, et al et al? Just for instance, the cops in BTAS wear realistic cop outfits, they carry guns, and they shoot at people.
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The cops in The Batman wear weird military uniforms, they carry laser guns that they never fire, and whenever there’s trouble, they use tasers. Exactly what you would expect from a modern cartoon that has to get past the usual wood-brained Standards & Practices department. Is it their fault that the last cartoon through the pipeline drove through the wall in a flaming car, flipping the bird and guzzling a vodka tonic?
There are some things that don’t help the matter. In a bit of corporate synergy for Batman Begins, this Batman is 26-years-old and has been active for three years. And he’s definitely a young, relatable Batman. Rino Romano does his best, but let’s face it—Batman should not sound like Spider-Man and he shouldn’t make jokes about whether something will “buff out” after he crashes the Batmobile.
For what it’s worth, I do like the show’s quasi-futuristic look, with Tron lines on a lot of Batman’s gear. It’s toyetic, sure, but it’s also a nice departure from BTAS’s neo-noir look. If you can’t have Italian mobsters with tommy guns, I suppose putting Batman in powered armor is a decent substitute. The animation is frequently very good, with action scenes that might surpass your average effort from BTAS. They really capture the fluidity and acrobatics that Batman has in the comics, whereas I recall the Kevin Conroy Batman as being largely just a brawler.
Now, since The Batman is pretty much a freak of the week show, I’m not going to review the episodes so much as the supervillains, so let’s dive right in to see what works and what doesn’t.
 The Joker
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Yeah, this is a miss. I know Heath Ledger kind of did a grunge thing, but there’s only so far you can push the homeless serial killer vibe before you lose the Clown Prince of Crime thing that’s sorta central to the character. And Ledger’s about as far as I want the homeless serial killer pushed.
To be fair, BTAS has a poor redesign of Joker as well—to The Batman’s credit, they pretty much immediately redid Joker’s look with a more traditional tuxedo. And, though Kevin Michael Richardson has the unenviable task of following up the other most iconic incarnation in the BTAS character line-up, I think he does a fine job. He’s no Mark Hamill, but c’mon, there needs to be an option for the Joker other than Mark Hamill playing him forever.
Bane
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Aside from the visual, this is pretty much a traditional take on the character. Hispanic guy, takes steroids, breaks the Batman. Here he’s a mercenary instead of a… warlord… guy, but that’s a pretty minor departure. And if the Mexican wrestler look bugged you, they avoid that at the small cost of turning him into a gimp.
The Penguin
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Yup, that’s the Penguin. They play around with Cobblepot’s social status and even give him a dynamic with Alfred. More significantly, they make him a physical threat to Batman, which seems extreme, but I suppose no one appreciated the character when he was ‘just’ a crimelord, so… we can’t have nice things. Oh well, the guy always has trick umbrellas, so how out of character can it be for him to be able to use them effectively?
Oh, and for some reason he has two kabuki-themed henchwomen. I don’t know either.
The Penguin tends to be most effective when his characterization is riffing on his ‘gentlemanly’ nature in one way or another. Here, he fancies himself an equal to Bruce Wayne, but he acts like a lout. Maybe that misses the mark for you, but Tom Kenny’s performance (which he’ll amusingly recycle pretty much intact for the Ice King in Adventure Time) is endearing enough to make this Penguin a love-to-hate villain. I think it works because he’s mostly just a douchebag, not an out-and-out monster like a lot of the comics make him out to be when they’re trying to turn him into a ‘serious threat’.
  Catwoman
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Yeah, that’s Catwoman. I don’t know what’s going on with the cowl or the Mickey Mouse ears—does she get satellite TV on those things? But I suppose that’s the problem when you have a simple design, you have to change SOMETHING, and the Diniverse pretty much nailed her look to begin with.
  Man-Bat
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This guy’s a bit of a departure, in that this Langstrom ditches the Curt Connors routine to WANT to be Man-Bat because he’s a Batman fanboy that wants to emulate him. Boy, the more popular Batman gets in real life, the more characters have that motivation in-universe, don’t they? I suppose you could say this ruins Man-Bat’s character, but has he ever been that good a character to begin with? The Lizard works because mad science is absolutely Spider-Man’s bailiwick. But Batman fighting a Man-Bat just seems like it was late on a Friday with a deadline coming up. This is probably a better design than this character deserves.
  Mr. Freeze
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Okay, talk about a mixed bag. This Freeze ditches Michael Ansara’s captivating performance and BTAS’s iconic backstory to turn him into a generic criminal who makes ice puns (even if they’re well-delivered ice puns, thanks to VA Clancy Brown). But I love the design. I think the Mike Mignola spacesuit works great in a zeerust alt-history context like BTAS is set in, but in a setting where there are no Victorian steampunks or clocktowers or shit, this Freeze looks absolutely cool and badass and great. I wouldn’t mind seeing this guy fight Christian Bale.
  Firefly
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A glowing ass? Really?
  Cluemaster
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I kinda think that if you must do fat jokes, they should be restricted to the Penguin, who is kinda grandfathered in. And I suppose this characterization of Arthur Brown as a basement-dwelling loser precludes him courting someone long enough to spawn Stephanie Brown… boo!
  Clayface
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The usual behind-the-scenes shenanigans apparently prevented The Batman from using Harvey Dent or Commissioner Gordon (at least at first), so instead they gave Bruce a bestie on the police force who was then Killing Joked by the Joker and turned into Clayface. Not really an adaptation of the comics character, but then, there’ve literally been like ten Clayfaces in the comics, so I can’t very well begrudge The Batman for doing their own. It’s sort of random to have a character that’s basically Two-Face without being Two-Face… like a Spider-Man adaptation where Harry Osborn becomes Venom instead of Green Goblin 2… but I try not to be that anal about these sorts of things. I mean, look at the guy, he’s a shapeshifting mud monster. What more do you want?
  Ventriloquist/Scarface
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This is pretty much the same character as BTAS did, only he has more of a Tony Soprano look than Edward G. Robinson. Oh, and he ends up being a giant robot. See, I like that. Instead of redoing BTAS, go broader and sillier. It’s a fresh take, you must admit. 
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typingtess · 2 years
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NCIS: Los Angeles Season 13 Rewatch:   “Lost Soldier Down”
The basics:  With Kensi on assignment, the team investigated LSD use among Navy personnel.
Written by:  Indira Wilson.  With Jordana Lewis Jaffe, Wilson co-wrote both “The Frogman’s Daughter”  and "Signs of Change" in season 12.  This is her first solo episode writing credit.
Directed by:  Daniela Ruah directed "Russia, Russia, Russia" in season 12.
Guest stars of note:  Michael Ocampo as Navy Officer First Class Adrian Vargas, Joshua Chang as Naval Intelligence Specialist Jason Renfro, Tui Asau as Prophet Mahee Mahee/Emmett Westerhouse, Anne Gee Byrd as Dr. Evelyn Bernhard, Grant Jordan as Grant/Young Man, Melissa Sears as Leah and Duncan Campbell returns as NCIS Special Agent Castor.  His last episode was "Sorry for Your Loss".
Our heroes:   Investigate one case while worrying about the death of a troubled Navy chief petty officer.
What important things did we learn about:
Callen:   Found another Hetty protégé. Sam:   Not happy Callen found another Hetty protégé.   Kensi:   On assignment. Deeks:  Wears his hair two-inches longer than the typical law enforcement officer because of “Hair” the musical. Fatima:  Worried about returning to the field. Rountree:  Always wondered why Deeks wore his hair two-inches longer than the typical law enforcement officer. Kilbride:  Has an open-door policy when it comes to Fatima.
What not so important things did we learn about:
Callen:   Addicted to “The Fast and the Furious” movie series even if its greatness is debatable.   Sam:   Thinks “The Fast and the Furious” is a great movie. Kensi:  And that assignment is directing. Deeks:  Making Kensi a Zen garden. Fatima:  A single woman living in Los Angeles without siblings. Rountree:  Does theme park Sunday once a month with his sister as well as a weekly dinner. Kilbride:  Things the team lacks discretion.  
Where in the world is Henrietta Lange?  Don’t know but she’s probably not happy Callen found Leah.
Who's down with OTP:   Deeks is redoing Kensi’s garden of dead tomatoes and almost everyone thinks this is bad idea.
Who's down with BrOTP:  Callen and Sam discuss Callen’s deep dive into another one of Hetty’s protégés.  Callen tries to keep it from Sam but winds up telling all.  Fatima and Rountree have a conversation about theme parks and Jordyn Rountree.  It looks to be the first pairing of Deeks and Rountree since Rountree got to exit a BMW with a bungee cord.  
Fashion review:  In the cut scene, Sam is in a black hoodie, Deeks is a long-sleeve grey sweatshirt.   In the actual episode, Callen is wearing a blue button down shirt.  Red, long-sleeve tee for Sam.  Charcoal grey henley for Deeks.  Fatima is wearing a red turtleneck under a red-purple sweater.  Blue tee-shirt for Rountree under a light blue jacket.  The Admiral is in a dark, dark blue suit, white shirt, light grey tie.
Music:   “Paucartambo” by Expresion is playing as Callen “runs into” Leah.  There was generic reggae music playing when Mahee-Mahee pulled up to his church.
Any notable cut scene:  Sam and Deeks are working out, using what looks like cut pool noodles as weapons.   And by working out, they are in a park where Sam is knocking around Deeks.  Sam is preaching the positives of training.  They work this hard in training so they don’t fail.  The biggest percentage of law enforcement failures is improper training leading to bad chokeholds or misuse of weapons.  “We have to do better.”
Deeks agrees with the doing better but the ‘we’ is a problem is he’s the only one Sam’s pounding on right now.  Since Kensi is on assignment, Fatima is still recovering and Rountree is late “again”, Deeks is enjoying Sam’s full attention.  Deeks asks if Rountree is late or not early late.  Sam wants to train some more.
As Deeks gets set up, Sam grabs him from behind.  Deeks maneuvers away and hits Sam with the pool noodle a few times, commenting that he’s like Travis Barker.  LL Cool J teamed up with Travis Barker (and Chuck D and Tom Morello) on “Whaddup” so nice in-joke.  
Sam gets a call – they have a case.  Deeks makes a snide comment about not being able to train any longer.  Sam is willing to come back after they’re done with work.  They disagree about Deeks being sarcastic and Sam earns a “touché”.  
Quote:  Kilbride:  “I am not one to pry, Agent Namazi... Though my second ex-wife would disagree... but I can't put this day to rest without understanding your ruse with the cane.” Fatima:  “I apologize, Admiral. I should have said something sooner. My doctor actually cleared me a couple days ago, and although my leg feels so much better and my heart really wants to get back in the field, my mind just feels... I don't know, um... weak.” Kilbride:  “And the cane bought you enough time to find your strength again?” Fatima:  “I don't want to let this team down.” Kilbride:  “The only way you could do that is by rushing your recovery. Never be afraid to stand up and advocate for yourself, Agent Namazi. This is your life. You dictate which story is told. Over the years, I have lost quite a few good sailors and marines to a thing called PTSD. All the same to you, I'd just as soon not lose any more people. Now, if I have to say it to you in so many words, you take as much time as you need. Understood?” Fatima:  “Thank you, Admiral.”
Honorable mention:   Sam:  “Now, are you ready to tell us what really happened?” Dr.  Bernhard:  “Like I said earlier, he wouldn't make an appointment, and I got worried. So, I asked him to stop by for a gift basket. Just some books. I was hoping he'd help himself if he wouldn't let me help him.” Sam:  “So you decided to give him drugs and put his life in danger?” Dr. Bernhard:  “I see soldiers, sailors, veterans every day that are in pain. They deserve to be helped. They deserve to be healed.” Callen:  “Petty Officer Vargas was trying to get help. He trusted you. Did you give him the LSD?” Dr. Bernhard:  “When he wouldn't come to the clinic, I, uh, I convinced him that CBD was harmless, nonaddictive. Just something to help him relax. I warned him not to take too much.” Callen:  “You didn't give him CBD, you illegally gave him LSD-laced gummies. You didn't tell him.” Sam:  “And he clearly couldn't handle it. He overdosed.” Dr. Bernhard:  “I thought it would help him. He was terrified he'd be sad the rest of his life.” Callen:  “It’s a nice little story you are telling yourself.”
Anything else:    In what looks like a Navy vessel, there are fires and siren lights going off.  A sailor calls to see if anyone is there, if anyone needs help.  An explosion knocks the sailor to the ground.  He calls for help when it looks like rotting arms start grabbing him.  Now he’s calling for help.  
The sailor races to a hatch, which at first is locked but he’s able to open.  Once opened, the sailor is on the deck of the vessel, stepping over the waist-high wall.  The sailor’s nametag reads “Vargas”.  Vargas looks back smiling, glad he’s in the fresh air and sunshine with the ocean behind him.  As he leans back to fall into the sea, he’s no longer on a boat.  Instead, he’s on a balcony wall of an apartment building.  He’s not falling into the sea, he’s falling to the street below, dying as he hits a parked car.
In the office, Callen is having tense conversation on his cellphone.  He is telling whoever is on the other end that he knows “she” isn’t working there anymore but he’s still interested in locating her.  Sam walks in for the tail end of the conversation.  When Callen hangs up, Sam asks if there is something he needs to know.  Callen blows it off and blames telemarketers.  The conversation turns to movies.  Sam’s a fan of “The Fast and the Furious” and got Callen addicted to them.  
Deeks arrives, also chatting on his cellphone.  He’s promising that nothing will change before that person gets back, the cornhole will be exactly where it was left.  Callen and Sam are watching.  When Deeks ends the conversation with an “I love you”, everyone knows it is Kensi on the line.
Callen asks about Mexico.  Deeks admits she hasn’t said much, which is usually a bad sign.  When Callen tries to reassure Deeks that Kensi has a good team around her, Deeks says he keeps telling himself that.  He then shares with Callen and Sam that while Kensi is away, he’s turning their backyard into a Zen garden.  Callen and Sam look at each other in horror.
Deeks wonders why Callen and Sam are looking at each other in horror.  Sam brings up not moving anything from the phone conversation but Deeks is sure Kensi doesn’t know what she wants.  When she sees the new place, he knows Kensi will wonder how she ever lived without it.  Besides, it isn’t the whole backyard.  Simultaneously, Callen and Sam say “don’t do it.”  
In Ops, Callen, Sam and Deeks join Fatima.  She has information on Navy Chief Adrian Vargas, the man who jumped from his Culver City high-rise short term rental that prior day.  Vargas was on a mental health leave from the Navy.  Deeks asks if it was suicide but Fatima isn’t sure.  A neighbor saw Vargas run onto the balcony.  Neighbors heard loud noises with Vargas shouting.
The early tox-screen shows LSD in Vargas’s system.  Deeks looks at the amounts of LSD – or Yellow Sunshine as he calls it - in the reports.  That earns a look from Callen and Sam.  Deeks replies with about six other terms for LSD, saying as LAPD he worked undercover at Burning Man.  That makes sense to Callen and Sam.
As the doors open, the Admiral arrives.   Callen remembers a drug bust on the Allegiance, where Vargas was stationed, a few weeks ago.  The Admiral tells Callen he’s on the right track.  Vargas had a high security clearance so the Director of Naval Intelligence wants NCIS lead the case.
On the Allegiance, Intelligence Specialist Jason Renfro was the sailor arrested for using and selling LSD.  Renfro and Vargas worked together.  While Renfro admitted to using LSD in the past, he didn’t bring any on the ship and didn’t remember taking it.  Sam is worried – drug use by intelligence officers could be a threat to national security.  The Admiral says the ONI and the SECNAV needs NCIS to find out what is going on.  With Renfro coming from the Miramar brig to the boat shed, Deeks and Rountree are going to go to Vargas’s apartment to see if there is any connection to Renfro.
Before Deeks leaves, the Admiral pushes the team to use discretion in this case.  Callen agrees – a Naval Intelligence Officer died with drugs in his system that he may have gotten on a ship.  “It’s not really a good look for the Navy, we get that.”   The Admiral doesn’t think Callen or anyone on the team gets it or understands what the word “discreet” means.  “Don’t blow anything up.”
Rountree arrives and is running to Ops when he sees Fatima slowly making her way down, still using her cane.  When Rountree apologizes for being late, Fatima tells him he’s off to work with Deeks today.  She asks about why he’s late – issues with his sister, “you know, brother-sister stuff.”  As an only child, Fatima can’t help there but as a single woman living in LA, she can help with Rountree system in that area.  Unless Rountree doesn’t want to talk about it.
Rountree wants to talk about it.  Rountree and his sister Jordyn go to dinner at least once a week but what really matters is their theme-park Sunday at the end of every month.  Universal Studios, Six Flags, Pacific Park – they hit them all, much to Fatima’s surprise.  Rountree explains they have season passes to all the parks.  But this month, Jordyn canceled.  Fatima is sure Jordyn had a good reason – studying for an exam maybe.
Worried about his sister, Rountree dropped by her place only to see her leaving with a guy. And she spent the night at that guy’s house.  Fatima is shocked.  Rountree agrees but Fatima realizes Rountree is agreeing with the wrong thing.  She’s shocked Rountree was spying on his sister.  Rountree tries to explain that he was just making sure everything was cool.  Fatima thinks everything was cool except Rountree, who can’t spend his time “surveilling” his sister.  Defending himself, Rountree hung around to make sure she got out of the house safely.  When Fatima asks if he busted Jordyn on her “walk of shame”, Rountree throws up in his mouth a little.  Rountree is out but Fatima makes it clear it is time for “Uncle Creepy” to treat his sister like a grown woman.
In Sam’s car, Callen is talking about Vargas and the “wave of tragedies” in the military with suicide and drug use.  Callen would rather investigate Vargas’s death and not where they were getting the drugs.  Sam disagrees – the Allegiance is one of the most powerful ships in the Navy.  Having crewmembers on LSD and it is a “recipe for disaster.”  Callen brings up what a threat this would be national security so he doesn’t care about discretion.  Sam  quotes Falstaff, “the better part of valor is discretion.”  Then “The Sandlot” which Callen recognizes.  Callen gets a call and a photo of a woman pops up.  He quickly sends it to voicemail.  Sam notices but sticks with the case.  Did Vargas get the drugs from Renfro?  They need Renfro to talk.  
Getting off the elevator in Vargas’s building, add Rountree to the ones who don’t think Kensi is going to let Deeks live in their home anymore if he replaces her garden “with rakes and sand.”  Deeks tells Rountree the garden is two dead tomato stalks.  Saying “I love that woman more than anything,” Deeks calls Kensi’s green thumb “puce”.  Rountree thinks Deeks is cold.  Rountree wants to be there when Deeks shows Kensi the garden - “For marital instruction.”
Entering Vargas’s apartment, the place is a mess.  Rountree says the police report had the apartment locked and chained from the inside.  Unless someone climbed onto the balcony, Vargas was alone when he died.  Deeks knows LSD can either cause great euphoria and finding your place in the world or extreme paranoia with hallucinations.  Rountree asks if Deeks knows that from experience.  Deeks brings up Burning Man again but says he never did an illicit drug in his life.  At LAPD, a lot of guys were self-medicating and Deeks wanted to deal with his troubles in a different way.  “Showtunes” is Rountree’s guess. Deeks appreciated Sondheim’s soothing melodies – “it’s saved me once or twice.”  
As they look around the apartment, Rountree finds Vargas’s laptop – one of the most high-end gaming laptop money can buy.  Deeks finds an Oculus Quest 2, which catches Rountree’s eye.  Vargas was a serious gamer.  Rountree is going to look through the laptop to see if there are any communications with Renfro.
In interrogation, Callen and Sam talk to Renfro, who was charged with giving LSD to his fellow Intelligence Petty Officers Lee, Perry and Soraci.  Renfro explains that they weren’t doing LSD to get high or hallucinate, they were micro dosing.  When Callen doesn’t see any difference, Renfro explains that his first assignment on the Allegiance was a project to analyze the encrypted signals of a US advisory.  The work required a heightened ability to disseminate information quickly.  He needed help focusing.  There was a recommendation to try LSD.  Callen wants to know who recommended the drug.  Renfro doesn’t remember but he wasn’t the first Intelligence Analyst to do this.  Back in the day, the US military sanctioned the use of psychedelics.  Sam brings up the military trying to teach bats how to drop Napalm – the military tries any number of experiments.
Callen brings up Vargas, asking if he ever micro-dosed.  Renfro is shocked – Vargas is one of the most by the book sailors Renfro knows.  When Callen tells Renfro about Vargas’s death and the drugs in his system, Sam wants to know if they shared a dealer.  Renfro is stunned – he didn’t ever give drugs to Vargas and he doesn’t have a dealer.  Since drugs don’t fall from the sky, Callen thinks Renfro had to have a dealer.  But that’s what nobody understands, Renfro tells Callen and Sam, he has no idea where the drugs came from.
In Ops and alone, Fatima is moving around without her cane.  In fact, is it lying on top of the collaboration table while she’s at one of the work stations.  She is walking across Ops without incident when the Admiral arrives.  He notices she’s walking without the cane as well.  She claims to be testing her leg but the doctors what her to stay out of the field for another month.  Rountree calls in.  As the Admiral leaves, he tells Fatima his door is always opened if she wants to talk.  
Fatima updates Rountree on Renfro.  Rountree had a feeling Renfro wouldn’t be much help since there is nothing in Vargas’s computer that would connect him to Renfro.  While Rountree is working  the computer, Deeks is working the Oculus 2 and can’t find his feet or any reason he’s in VR.  Rountree want Deeks to look around for anyone who was playing games with Vargas.  
While Deeks is moving around, Fatima asks if Rountree heard from his sister.  He has not and he’s not going to call either.  When she wants to talk, Jordyn can call, just like Fatima said.  That’s not what Fatima said but Rountree isn’t looking for any advice.  
Deeks takes off the VR set – it doesn’t look like Vargas was playing with anyone.  In fact, Deeks thinks the whole thing is for loners.  Looking at the books on Vargas’s coffee table, one is titled “Self-Love Speak”.  Inside the book, Deeks finds a membership card with no real ID, just a design.  Photographing it, Deeks sends it to Fatima.
Rountree joins Deeks on the couch.  There is no evidence that Vargas got the LSD on the black market.  He did spend a lot of time on message boards and chat.  One of the chat has someone’s user pick as the design on the membership card.  “That cannot be a coincidence.”  Seeing the user has a signature of “The Age of Aquarius is now”, Deeks thinks user is a fan of “Hair”.  Rountree has no idea what “Hair” is.  A knock on the door breaks Deeks out of his sense of shock.  A young man arrives at the door saying that Adrian’s death was not a suicide because he knows who killed Adrian.
In the apartment, Rountree asks the young man, Grant, how he knows Vargas.  They started dating after Vargas moved into the building.  Grant is heartbroken.  Deeks asks who killed Vargas.  Grant says the Navy.  About a year ago, Vargas nearly died in a fire on a ship.  Rountree is familiar with the case – 16 sailors died on the USS Comanche.  Vargas was immediately transferred to the Allegiance as he was trying to deal with the anxiety and depression over what happened.  He couldn’t sleep, he was having issues with the confined spaces below deck.  It took over a year for anyone to take his struggle seriously.  
Deeks asked if Vargas was getting help while on leave.  Grant mentions a therapist but Rountree says that wasn’t in his file.  Grant admits he and Vargas were on a break.  Vargas was diagnosed with PTSD and wanted to get himself right by taking some time to himself.  Rountree brings up the LSD.  Grant finds that impossible – Vargas’s father had addiction issues so Vargas never took drugs, he didn’t drink.  There is no way Vargas would take LSD – someone had to kill him.
On the plasma screen, Fatima tells Callen and Sam that the Allegiance has an ongoing problem with LSD.  Five-years ago, eight sailors were charged with possession of a number of drugs, including LSD.   None of the sailors would say where the drugs came from – just like Renfro.  Sam thinks Renfro was given a reason to think using the LSD was safe.  He asks if anyone is Vargas’s department was a suspected user.   Three sailors voluntarily checked themselves into rehab after admitting using LSD – Officers Perry, Soraci and Lee all failed a drug test.  They all also had the same story.
Back with Renfro, Callen and Sam confront him with the testimony from Perry, Soraci and Lee about Renfro being their dealer.  Renfro doesn’t believe Callen.  Perry just had a son, just like Renfro.  Of all of them, Perry would know how important it would be for Renfro with be with his family.  They tell Renfro that Perry testified about him bragging about how much money he made selling drugs.  Renfro is stunned.  Callen suggest coming clean.
Renfro talks about being assigned to the Allegiance and the hazing he went through though “it wasn’t too bad.”  Lee, Perry and Soraci ran the hazing.  As part of the hazing, Renfro was told to pick up a package.  When he returned with the package, everyone played dumb.  Opening the package, Renfro saw a note telling him how much of what was in the package he had to take and how the deliveries worked if he wanted more.  Callen and Sam don’t believe him, Renfro agrees – it sounds wrong.  But he truly believed that whoever was selling the drugs wanted to keep their identity a secret.  
The packages were left all over the ship, arriving every two-weeks.  Once he picked up the package, Renfro would hand out the tablets.  Everyone started doing their jobs better.  Callen says is the rest of the crew wasn’t involved, why did he keep picking up the drugs.  Renfro is sure the LSD worked in micro doses.  He was seeing patterns that he would have never seen before.  Sam asks who was paying for the LSD.  Renfro explains that when it started leaking out that he could get drugs, someone would leave money under his pillow.  The next day, the money would be gone, replaced by the LSD.  Sam tells Renfro what he did makes him a drug dealer.  Renfro’s defense is that he didn’t make any profit.  Callen thinks that makes him bad at drug dealing.  
Leaving Renfro in interrogation, Callen and Sam go out to the main part of the boat shed to talk to Fatima.  The Allegiance is docked in San Diego for the last six months for repairs.  That gives access to all sorts of civilians working on the ship, doing aircraft maintenance, making deliveries.  Anyone one of them could have accessed Renfro’s bed and made the drug transactions.  Fatima has a four page list of everyone who has been on the ship in the last six months.  They are all suspects.  Fatima will work with ship personnel to narrow to a list of possible suspects.  Fatima also found Vargas’s therapist.  Castor is going to bring her to the boatshed.  
Callen is back on the phone and Sam calls him out, saying he’s spent more time it on today than he has in the last year.  Callen blames it on Candy Crush.  Sam asks if Candy Crush has a level that sends Callen photos of pretty women.  Reluctantly, Callen admits to finding one of Hetty’s proteges.  Sam is not pleased and that is why Callen didn’t tell him.  Promising to keep an open mind, Sam asks who is the protégé.  Callen isn’t sure – “she’s actually a bit of a mystery.”  (Well she is from the Hetty Lange School for Wayward Youth, what did you expect Callen?)   The woman was working for Homeland but she has no file in the database – Callen got that info from someone he helped in the past.  Sam is not pleased.  Callen’s original intention was to see if the woman was alive.  When he found out she was but she had no history, Callen wants to know how the story ends.  
Annoyed, Sam wants to know what the plan is for Callen.  Is Callen going to track down every foster child Hetty helped?  How does finding out about this woman’s past fill in Callen’s blanks?  Callen is surprised Sam isn’t interested in the woman’s missing Homeland file.  Sam could see the woman being an agent who was on a mission that went wrong.  She’s in hiding now.  Well she’s hiding in plain sight to Callen, since he found her.  Sam wants Callen to promise he wouldn’t let this consume him.
Getting out of Deeks’s truck, Rountree is trying to explain that “Hair” was well before his time.  Claiming it was also before his time, Deeks still has an appreciate for the “seminal, American tribal love-rock musical ‘Hair’.”  It defined a generation.  In fact, “Hair” is the reason Deeks wears his hair two-inches longer than the typical cop.  Rountree always had questions about that.  Deeks decides he and Rountree are going to see “Hair”.  Rountree not so much.
In the back of a nail salon, Deeks and Rountree find a church in an “only in LA” moment.  Rountree finds a flyer where the church promises to heal PTSD from the heart.  Fatima contacts Deeks.  Vargas paid $500 to the church.  $500 is a lot of money for a Petty Officer – this could  be where he got the drugs.  Fatima also tells them the coroner called.  There was a gelatinous substance in Vargas’s stomach but all agree that could be anything.  Fatima is off to find out about the church.  
A red vehicle pulls up, playing reggae music.  The driver leaves the vehicle welcoming “saints to a new beginning” as he addresses Deeks and Rountree.  He feels fortunate the universe brought them all together.  The man is Prophet Mahee-Mahee, who assumes Deeks and Rountree are there for some guidance.  Pulling out their badges, Mahee-Mahee runs.  Rountree chases – “I have this”.  Deeks sees Rountree take down Mahee-Mahee in a “Jimmy ‘Superfly” Snuka” move.  Rountree has no idea who that is.  Deeks thinks this is how the world ends.
In his church, Mahee-Mahee is now offering peace and blessings.  Deeks hopes Mahee-Mahee won’t speak this way the whole time.  Rountree wants to know why Mahee-Mahee ran.   Mahee-Mahee has been ducking a subpoena from his ex-wife.  Deeks explains they are there to talk about Adrian Vargas.  Deeks shows the membership card he found in Vargas’s apartment.  Mahee-Mahee confirms it is his new membership card.  It also earns points at the neighboring Mexican restaurant.  When Deeks asks how long Vargas was attending Mahee-Mahee’s church, Mahee-Mahee corrects him – it is a spiritual center where Vargas sought healing only the ancient gods can provide.  
Rountree asks about LSD but Mahee-Mahee pushes back.  His method of healing is about deep meditation that he leads most Saturday evenings.  Deeks tells Mahee-Mahee that the deep meditation didn’t work since Vargas leapt to his death after using LSD.  Mahee-Mahee drops to his knees and starts praying to the gods to welcome Vargas’s soul.  Post-prayer, Deeks asks about others in the flock.  Would anyone sell Vargas the drugs?  Mahee-Mahee says no.  Deeks doesn’t believe Mahee-Mahee, which the spiritual leader thinks is church hurt.  “How much spiritual healing did Vargas’s $500 buy him?” Deeks asks.  It was a payment for a retreat the church is doing in Big Bear.  Deeks and Rountree are invited.
Fatima calls in.  Mahee-Mahee is actually Emmett Westerhouse.  He’s been arrested in a number of jurisdictions including San Francisco, Texas and Phoenix.  His driver’s license is suspended.  The church is the most legitimate scam he’s ever run.  The retreat is real.  
In the boatshed, Castor escorts Dr. Evelyn Bernhard into the main room.  An older woman, she’s in a walking boot and using a cane because of a sprain.  Callen and Sam introduce themselves.  Bernhard is happy to be out in the ocean air.  She’s sad about Vargas’s death.  The two had a pair of sessions but he wouldn’t call her back.  Sam asks if she diagnosed Vargas with PTSD.  While she usually wouldn’t divulge patient information, she will say that in 50-years of treating veterans, she never met anyone in more distress.  Sam continues, asking about drug or alcohol use.  Vargas never told her about drugs or alcohol but she knows he was desperate for relief.  She recommended some antidepressants, maybe CBD gummies because it works for her but Vargas refused to take anything.  
Callen tells Bernhard that Vargas had 10-times the recreational dose of LSD in his body.  She gasps.  At their last meeting, she recommended Vargas to a Santa Barbara clinic that uses LSD in its treatment of PTSD.  The clinic has an amazing record of helping returning combat veterans to better mental health.  She brings up a waiting list and maybe Vargas didn’t want wait.   She’s worried he tried the drug on his own based on her recommendation.
Walking into Ops, Kilbride wants to know if Fatima is ready to talk.  She wonders what he wants to talk about so he goes with the case.  Fatima created an algorithm that matches what contractors were on the ship with the times Renfro said he got a delivery.   She has narrowed down the list to 32-suspects.  The Admiral looks at the Vargas and Renfro Navy ID cards blown up on the big screen in Ops.  Explaining that for his entire career, he enjoyed looking into the eyes of newly enlisted sailors,  the eyes of his father and grandfather, the countless men and women he served with.   The day the ID photo is taken, every sailor is so proud to serve his or her country.  But then they face the harsh reality of military service and some never get back to where they were when their photo was taken.  
Fatima is taken by the Admiral’s thoughts until her tablet beeps.  There are only two civilian contractors who were on the ship on all the days the LSD was moved – Mitchell Tucker and Randall Davis.  The Admiral wants to see if there is any connection to Renfro.
Callen and Sam return to the office.  The Santa Barbara clinic said Vargas never filled out the paperwork and Renfro swears he didn’t share any drugs with Vargas.  Callen and Sam actually believe Renfro.  Where did the LSD come from?  Fatima can help as she joins them in the bullpen.  Randall Davis is former Intelligence Specialist Second Class Randall Davis from the Allegiance.   He was on the Allegiance when the ship had its big drug issue five years ago.  He left the Navy just as the eight sailors were busted.  He used the same system to set up Renfro.   Davis now works for a printer repair company that services the Allegiance.  Checking the visitors logs, Davis was signed in with four different signatures.  Sam wants to know where Davis is now – the company’s warehouse in Torrance.  Callen and Sam are on their way, they want Deeks and Rountree to join them.
At the warehouse, everyone is waiting for eyes on Davis.  Discretion is key so no flashy arrest.  Fatima can’t access the warehouse security system but she has bigger worries.  Davis may not be just selling drugs, he may be making them.  He’s been receiving deliveries from a grower in China known for producing  the main ingredient in LSD.  The warehouse is an LSD lab in the middle of LA.  Callen and Sam see Davis loading up a van.  Callen and Sam go in through the front door, Deeks and Rountree are in the back.
Callen introduces himself as NCIS and has he watched the show?  “NCIS” or “Federal Agents” never works.  Davis has a gun and the shooting begins.  When Davis runs to his delivery van, Deeks and Rountree cut him off from the exit, more shooting and Davis drives his van right into a dumpster.  Callen found the execution “sort of discreet”.  “If you say so,” is Sam’s reply.  
LAPD found a huge lab in the warehouse with chemicals and drugs.  Davis’s SUV also had a huge supply of LSD.  Rountree thinks the way the case ended will make Kilbride happy.  “You think anything we do will really make Kilbride happy?” Sam replies.  
Deeks wants to know if there is any connection between the drugs Vargas took and Davis.  There isn’t but there was gelatin in Vargas’s stomach.  Deeks wonders if Vargas took a some gummies laced with LSD.  Callen remembers Bernhard using CBD gummies and makes a call to Fatima.
Pulling up at Dr. Barnhard’s clinic, she was surprised to see them again.  Sam asks why did she lie to them.  They have proof Vargas was at her office the day he died.  Sam wans the truth.  Saying that Vargas wouldn’t make an appointment at the clinic, she asked him to drop by, offering a gift basket of books.  Sam is disgusted.  Bernhard tried to explain that she’s seen so many soldiers and veterans in pain every day.   They deserved to be helped and healed.  When Vargas arrived, she convinced him that the CBD gummies weren’t addictive.  They would help him relax.  She told him not to take too many.  But the gummies were laced with LSD and Vargas overdosed.  Crying, she tells Callen and Sam that she thought she was helping him. Vargas feared he’d be sad all of his life.  
In the bullpen, Callen says life is for the living so he’s not going after Hetty’s other protégé.  Sam notes that Langston Hughes said life is for the living but Sam is happy with Callen’s decision.  He quotes “The Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift” which Callen feels is underrated (and stars Lucas Black from NCIS: New Orleans).  
Deeks arrives, again talking on the phone to Kensi.  After the call, Callen and Sam ask about her status.  The assignment is going as expected.  Callen asks if she knows about her upcoming “HGTV reveal.”  Deeks took everyone’s advice and told Kensi about doing something for the garden.  Kensi would like a bird feeder.  Deeks is trying to stay busy, keep his mind occupied while Kensi is away.  Deeks is in a hurry – he and Rountree are going to watch “Hair” at the Blye-Deeks home.  Neither Callen or Sam saw “Hair” either though Sam took Kam to “Tangled” when she was little.  Callen has a hard time picturing that.
In Ops, the Admiral is back and wants to speak to Fatima.  Saying he’s not one to pry though his second wife would disagree, he can’t “put this day to rest” until he understands Fatima’s “ruse” with her cane.  Fatima apologies and speaks in a hurried manner.  She was cleared to return to the field and few days ago.  Her leg has healed and her heart is in the field but her mind won’t let her go.  She feels weak.  The cane bought her time to work through her issues, according to the Admiral.  Fatima fears letting the team down but the Admiral tells her the only way she could do that is to rush her recovery.  “Never be afraid to stand up and advocate for yourself, Agent Namazi.  This is your life.  You dictate what story is told.”  The Admiral talks about losing some sailors and Marines to PTSD.  He’s not interested in losing any more people.  “You take as much time as you need, understood.”  With tears in her eyes, Fatima is grateful.
Rountree arrives as the Admiral is leaving.  The Admiral tells Rountree good work which stuns Rountree.  Rountree sees Fatima walking without her cane.  He asks if she’s cleared for action. She says “more or less” but it going to take some time before she heads back to the field.  Rountree is there to apologize for being “snippy” when he was talking to Fatima from Vargas’s apartment.  He has been raising his sister for a while and he is sensitive about her.  Fatima says he never has to apologize to her.  He also said he called and without mentioning “her little man friend”, they’re going to Universal Studios that weekend.  Fatima is pleased – she’d like to go on the Harry Potter ride one day but thinks it would be weird to go alone.  Rountree invites Fatima – she’d love to meet Jordyn and Jordyn would love to meet Fatima.  It is a al.
A woman is leaving the Away to Peru restaurant with a large white bag of food in her hands.  A man walks into her – it is Callen.  She drops the bag, causing her lamo saltado to spill over the other food.  Callen wants to buy her another dinner.  He’s wanted Peruvian food all week and if she’s having dinner for one, they could have dinner for two.  He introduces himself as Greg but his friends call him G.  The woman shakes his hand, she’s Leah.
What head canon can be formed from here:  While similar in theme to “Sundown” – a struggling service member deals dies under suspicious circumstances, this episode missed the punch of “Sundown”.  Grant was a good advocate for Vargas but the actors playing Kyra DeMayo’s parents did such an amazing job adding grief to everything they said.  Plus there was the whole jokey side to the Deeks-Rountree scenes.  If “Sundown” wasn’t the episode right before this, it probably would have played better but it seemed like a feather after the serious nature of “Sundown”.
The doctor’s line about Vargas being afraid he’d be sad forever.  That just hit hard.
Back to the laughing partners, I get that Rountree didn’t know about “Hair” but I’m guessing an athletic kid who was all about sports and doing things outside knows his fair share about wrestling.  I get that they wanted to set up Deeks as the older guy in the conversation but chats about “Hair” are a lot more believable than Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka.
When Sam said “You think anything we do will really make Kilbride happy?” near the end, I thought that was a huge missed opportunity.  What about this case is there to be happy about.  The Navy in general and the Allegiance in particular have real issues with mental health and drugs.  A Navy Intelligence Chief Petty Officer jumped off the balcony of his apartment while dealing with PTSD from a fire he survived that killed 16-sailors.  What is happy about any of this?  That was the answer to Rountree thinking the way they ended the case would make the Admiral happy.
When Linda Hunt lightened her workload with the series, I worried about someone having the “gravitas” she had in some scenes.  Gerald McRaney’s two soliloquies about the men and women he served with were terrific.  
Said it at the time and will say it now, what exactly is the difference between Callen-Leah and Joelle-Callen except Joelle was doing her job while Callen is on a personal mission.
Episode number:  This is episode seven of season 13, the 287th episode overall.  With 24 episodes most season, it is easy to divide things up into quarters or thirds.  22, not so much but with episode seven, we’re mostly a third of the way through the season.
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adamwatchesmovies · 2 years
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The Last Witch Hunter (2015)
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I didn’t really expect a good film when I threw The Last Witch Hunter into my Blu-ray player, but I certainly didn’t think it would bore me. Devoid of any surprises, excitement or even unintentional laughs, it’s a tedious affair.
800 years ago, witch hunter Kaulder (Vin Diesel) was cursed with immortality by the dying Queen of the Witches. In present day, he keeps mankind safe from anyone – man or woman – who would use black magic for nefarious purposes. When witches attack Kaulder’s friend Dolan (Michael Caine), our hero teams up with his new aide (also named Dolan and played by Elijah Wood) and a young witch named Chloe (Rosie Leslie).
Vin Diesel can be charismatic, but you'd never guess that from this film. It doesn’t help that his character is both unconvincing and uninteresting. He’s an 800-year old who laments the loss of his wife and daughter when he isn’t seducing airport stewardesses. That’s all there is to him. They don’t even do the obvious thing, like have it that he can’t handle new technology and yearns for the “good old days”. He’s driving fast cars, using iPads, and joking around (well, not to imply that he’s ever funny; I just mean that he’s not grizzled or all that serious about what he does). It becomes so hard to concentrate on what's going on, you'll swear you've been slipped a sleeping potion.
None of the other characters are any more interesting. The evil witches? They’re evil; that’s it. Dolan 36 (Caine) and 37 (Wood) are barely necessary to the plot and have no hopes of being memorable or unique. I would’ve cut them out and had Kaulder teamed up with Chloe for the whole thing. At least she’s got the potential to bring some life in, if only in a “one’s a witch hunter, one’s a witch” kind of way.
What makes this lacklustre fantasy campaign even less interesting is how easily you can predict every bit of the story. This film isn’t a sequel, prequel, or remake, but it feels like it. I’m certain that somewhere, you’ll find some cheap, crappy fantasy film with the exact same plot as The Last Witch Hunter. And then, to make it even worse, the film sets itself up for a sequel. Pray this franchise doesn’t get resurrected the way XXX did.
I wanted to have fun with The Last Witch Hunter. I figured if it wasn’t going to be good, at least it would be goofy fun. Instead I sat there, begging for the picture to end. When it did, I was so underwhelmed it took me a second to realize the credits would start at any second. The only good thing about The Last Witch Hunter is that some of the special effects and makeup are ok and that, at the beginning of the film and in flashbacks, you get to see Vin Diesel donning a ridiculous beard. (On Blu-ray, July 31, 2017)
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barneswilsonrogers · 7 months
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THE MARVELS IS SOOOO CUTE
KAMALA IS EVERYTHING SHE IS MY DAUGHTER I LOVE HER
She is really gonna be the next MCU icon, isn't she? I can't wait for The Young Avengers movie I really hope it won't be too long because the cast is growing up fast. I wonder how their first meeting with Cap will be like??
As a muslim myself, i was so happy when she says bismillah before unleashing her power lmao that's adorable
Also can we talk about CAROL and MARIA are obviously in love??????????? they literally raised Maria together (well until she left) I can see where people joke about Carol being a deadbeat lmaooo because Monica is really upset!
God, the post-credit scene really got me SHOOK ! Maria being a whole new person and doesn't know she's her daughter omfkghfghbjkkb 😅😭😭😭
omfg this is really how they gonna introduce the X-Men, huh???? AND HE MENTIONED CHARLES? It better be young Charles and we get James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender back!
Overall I LOOOVE this movie i laughed a lot which is rare in mcu movies! In fact it's super fun and the fight choreo is AMAZING!
I also think it kinda confirmed that there will be a mutant in Sam's movie? Logan is to appear with Deadpool, so there we will see more mutant characters. I want to see Sam and Bucky meet the X-Men please GOD!!
anyway im gonna see it again on monday with my sister hehe i love it so much
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tallstales · 2 years
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Home as of a little after midnight last night. 16 hours of driving on Friday and almost 18 on Saturday. Fable was a total angel on the way down to NC and was happy to reunite with her mama Nova who greeted us at the car and a couple of her other service dog pals and sisters who are also in for training. Thank you to those who have been texting, trying to check in, or send good vibes our way for the journey. I’m sorry I couldn’t always answer back.
I know a lot is going on right now, but if you have a minute I want to talk about why I can’t always give you updates on my travel, answer the phone, or send cute pics of Fable at rest stops ect. It’s easier for me to write it down once and ask for a little bit of help here than have the pressure of saying any of this face to face.
The car is not a happy place for me as many of you know. A lot of trauma has happened to me in cars. Things I don’t want to post all over the internet but things I am willing to talk about in safe environments with people I trust if you feel the need to ask in person.
This weekend was 16 and then 18 hours straight of panic attacks, trying to stay quiet, accidentally shouting and feeling terrible for distracting or scaring my husband Michael, shaking, migraines, crying, dissociation, and feeling like my chest was going to explode from how fast and constant my heart was going crazy. It’s hard to explain for someone not there experiencing it but I’m sure Michael would agree that that’s only the half of it. My whole body is one giant charlie horse today.
This is another reason why the fundraiser is so important to me and I really appreciate every single share and comment and penny that comes its way. We can’t afford to pay approximately $2k in plane tickets every time we drop Fable off or go to train with her right now because we’re anticipating having to pay for the rest of her training. Not to mention, we can’t afford one plane trip a year for a vacation or family visit or anything like that in a typical year. Two way trips twice every two months is unimaginable. A hotel for one night and gas is significantly less. But the closer we get to completing the payment for her training, the more willing we are to start dipping into our credit card and savings to take a plane instead. I knew driving such a long distance and on our days off so we wouldn’t have to take time off work was going to be hard, but my expectations of myself were far too high. It’s not hard. It feels impossible. It’s torture. I keep trying to thank Michael for his patience and taking all the driving on himself but he keeps trying to tell me that he has the easy part. After yesterday’s ride, I’m starting to believe it. Michael joked this weekend in one of my few moments when I was able to breathe and talk that maybe we should sedate me next time. It’s really sad (and terrifying for a whole other list of reasons I won’t get into here) that I’m considering it.
So I know this was a total look at me sob story moment but Im trying to let people in on what’s going on and ask for help.
Every share of the fundraiser has the potential to find new people. Every comment and reaction (like, love, care, ect) boosts the views that post gets. I know not everyone can donate and many of you already have and I’m forever grateful and in your debt for that. What I’m asking now is that you just click share. Text the link, email it, dm it, share on your profiles. Whatever you feel comfortable doing.
Thank you.
I wasn’t able to take many pictures of Fable in the car this time but here is one of her happy as a clam rocking out to some road tunes and watching the view go by. I wish she still fit in the foot well with me but random kisses to my face from the back seat are nice little distractions too ❤️
Please click here for my gofundme or here to donate directly through Steadfast Service Dogs
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goddess-pan · 3 years
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Tailor!Reader in Dream SMP
Dsmp x reader prompt; Tailor!Reader in Dream SMP. Credit would be appreciated so more people can find this and make their own things based on it.
Can fully be read as platonic. GN!reader with they/them pronounce as a placeholder so anyone can adapt it however they want. Both general and character specific parts included.
Characters who have a lot written for/about; Eret, Ranboo, Foolish, Tommy, Technoblade, Philza and Michael. Mentioned; Tubbo, Sam Nook, Purpled and Foolish Jr.
This ended up being super long so I’m putting it under the cut in order not to clutter people’s pages. My personal favourite part is Phil’s and Techno’s part. These could be read as headcanons but are still available as a prompt(s) to use for anyone.
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The reader joining after the doomsday as a time frame in my mind.
The reader helping people patch up their current clothes since most of it got pretty banged up during the doomsday, and it's not like they can just go get a new outfit since quite a few people had just lost all their belongings and only had the clothes on their back. So at first prioritizing helping patch up the current clothing people were wearing and then moving on to making some simple fast to make and easy on the resources clothes for people. Just like basic shirts and shorts/pants, nothing fancy. Then when everyone has at least a couple of different clothes to change to and from starting their own business to sell people more if they wanted. However waving payment if they brought them the materials and what they wanted wasn't overly complicated.
People at first thinking they are just some chump who knows basic sewing or something. A very kind chump, but still a chump. So imagine their surprise when one day they are just walking by the reader's now established tailors and they see these absolutely stunning designs displayed at the windows. 
Just like their reactions seeing these beautiful designs they can't help but stare at. I'd imagine some of them just doing a double take when they walk by, someone pressing their face up to the glass trying to see it closer, the braver ones going inside and talking to the reader about their designs and the more anxious and/or shy ones only going inside when the reader isn't there to look at designs closer. 
And the reasons they like/are amazed by the designs vary also ! Some just have monkey brain that goes "Pretty. WANT", some who just love the colour and art of the pieces, some who imagine how epic this design or others would look on them, some who love the fashion aspect of it and of course the very small portion who actually know anything about tailoring/sewing and the amount of work that goes into making something intricate.
Some specific character/group interactions I thought of;
Making warm well insulated clothes for people moving to Snowchester so they don't freeze. +A warm cape for Ranboo for the same reason.
Eret being one of the firsts (if not the first) to get himself a fully tailored and customized outfit. Them also being the first and very possibly only person to get a dress or a skirt since most of the other people on the server prefer to wear pants (excluding maid dresses which people might get as joke). The reader crying in joy for getting to design something different for once. And hey if the reader ends up making a few extra ones that she didn't order, but decided to give her anyway it was all just some extra ones they had lying around, never mind the fact that the dresses/skirts are perfectly tailored for Eret and are her style. Just a coincidence, nothing suspicious there. Eret also models for the reader and once he even convinced them to hold a fashion show to showcase some of their work to the whole server. Of course he was the main model presenting the outfits.
At start of the reader beginning to display their designs at their shop Ranboo sees a really cool looking suit on display and his brain just goes "Want." He probably wouldn't be able to buy anything pre-made and be comfortable in it due to his physique. And him having just moved into the arctic and only starting to get settled in, he doesn't have comfortable enough funds for him to get something as expensive as a custom tailored suit AND have enough for any possible rent that he might be required to pay. 
Eventually when he gets richer he starts considering getting one but the anxious side of him always ends up winning and he doesn't. However once he finally gets the courage to go commission the suit for himself he doesn't regret it at all. The reader did their best to not overwhelm him and to make it the best possible experience. Just imagining the absolute joy he would feel for having a properly fitting suit that's made just for him, not too short sleeves nor too wide torso and shoulders, just perfect. If he ends up ordering a couple more suits that's between him and the reader. He actually ends up probably being their most frequent and reliable customer.
And we should all know why that is, but let me clarify just in case; Michael.
The reader basically becoming Michael's personal stylist (/hj) . Not only does Ranboo buy a god awful amount of clothes for Michael, the reader also makes some free ones for him. The free ones are things the reader felt like designing since they absolutely adore Michael and the ones Ranboo pays for are commissioned by him. Michael absolutely has the biggest wardrobe in the whole server. The reader learning how to make plushies so Michael could have some more toys, this learning experience including learning to crochet and knit to see what he like best.
Using their newly acquired plush making skills, the reader starts their quest to make some plushies for others after seeing people stare at the plushies wistfully either while they were working on them or seeing Michael with the plushies. People who got them include the minors, their close friends and basically anyone they thought might benefit from them. Some of the ones they made (that I could think of);
Of course a bee for Tubbo, but also throwing in a little ram one as well
Ranboo gets a grass block plush/pillow
Tommy gets a cobblestone block plush and a cow plush. He also later receives a Sam Nook plush while he's working on the hotel
Purpled getting two different sized ufos, one to hold and the other more of a big pillow
Eret definitely gets a flamingo plush
Foolish gets a totem and a gold block plushies
Phil gets crow plush as well these tiny fake coin and gem plushies (the latter causes problems for him which I'll expand upon later)
Techno gets a pig one as well as polar bear one
Back to the individual/group part
The reader just chilling w/ Foolish as a fellow artists. Them talking about both their arts and catching up every time the reader comes to deliver something to Snowchester when Foolish is building the mansion. Just two pretty peaceful artists talking about their passions. I’d imagine Foolish and the reader could relate to each other and their place in the server due to their similar hobbies/jobs as well as their similar time of joining the server. Foolish's first commission from them being an intricate blanket for Foolish Jr so he could have a more comfortable resting place. He may or may not end up receiving that and several other (though less intricate) blankets as well as a tiny shark plush to give to Foolish Jr. Later on when the reader gets better at either knitting or crocheting they end up making a tiny shark jumper with a hood for Foolish Jr as well. Foolish would definitely cry when he sees his tiny shark baby. Any commissions of clothes for himself tend to always take some time due to sheer amount of work needing to be done due to his size so he always makes sure the reader doesn’t already have a lot on their plate and that they know he’s fine with waiting if they need to take a break from it.
Then there's Tommy, who they sometimes teach more about sewing since he already knows some basics. Him probably being the first person aside from Michael they make a plush for, due to him demanding one once he saw the reader making them. Then proceeding to get three plushies in rapid succession. The first being the cobblestone, the second being the cow and the third one being the Sam Nook one. He ends up losing one of them during the prison fiasco and when the reader asks if he'd like a new one they only get the answer of "Don't want to think about what happened and the same one might make me do that". He then promptly receives new clothing (so he isn't wearing the same ones he was wearing in prison) and some extra blankets (for comfort) from the reader. 
After Tommy meeting Michael does he use him to scam the reader to make them matching outfits for free? Yes, yes he does. Does it work? Yes, yes it does. Are they bothered by it? Not really, they look adorable in their matching outfits.
The reader being the source for Sam Nook's construction gear/clothes or at least the original patterns for them.
And then there's the arctic boys (minus Ranboo, who will still get mentioned) who are an interesting bunch clothing wise. The first one to commission the reader out of them would be Phil who got the original warm cape for Ranboo but also at the same time commissioned one for himself that would include slits for his wings. Eventually getting to design clothing for him which is always an exciting challenge with his wings. And when Phil finally manages to convince Techno to get something made for himself as well, Techno almost immediately gets addicted to having high quality clothing when they finish their first piece for him. The fun the reader has designing clothes for these boys is immeasurable with their different styles and needs in the clothing. Aside from clothing Techno also commissions them for a pet bed for Steve. 
When the boys got their plushies it was adorable but also a very chaotic. Techno giving his pig one to Steve so he wouldn't miss him when he was away from home, but also bringing the polar bear one with him when he couldn't or wasn't allowed to bring Steve with him but still needed comfort. While on Phil's side of things; he was showing his crows the crow plushie joking about he'll replace them if they aren't careful however he made the mistake of showing them the tiny coin and gem plushies as well. I want you to imagine hundreds of crows descending upon this poor fool of a man in the background while the reader is walking away hoping they like their plushies. 
The war that ensued the couple following days amongst the crows starts to cool down but the bickering doesn't, every waking moment Phil can feel eyes on him and one or more of the crows coming to complain about the others having had the shiny plushies for too long. He quickly caves under the pressure and commissions more of the tiny shiny treasure plushies. And by more I mean a lot more. 
When he finally has enough of the things he goes around distributing them to the crows. Finally a moment of peace, but he still feels like something is staring at him occasionally. Deciding to ignore it since it's finally quiet he goes to makes himself a cup of tea and while waiting for the water to boil he fishes out the few shiny plushies he had saved for himself. The second he does he feels eyes burning into him and now that it's quiet he hears it, quiet muffled snuffles and snorts of discontent. Then he sees what ‘it’ is, it's Techno behind the window looking at the shinies in his hand with such intensity Phil fears for his life (/hj). Phil just sighs deeply before walking over to the window and opening it. For a second Techno looks like a deer in headlights before returning to intensely staring at the shinies in Phil's hand before Phil just dumps the shiny plushies into Techno's hand and closes the window. Happy piglin noises can be heard outside while Phil debates the pros (getting to have shinies himself) and cons (the embarrassment of having to commission even more of the shiny plushies than he already has) of getting new ones from the reader. And in all this the reader has no idea the amount of chaos they inadvertently caused.
And finally; Techno commissioning robes/cloaks for whole the Syndicate to wear in their meetings, because he’s dramatic like that. But since he’s a thoughtful guy, he wants them all to fit the members well and not be uncomfortable to wear so he gets everyone’s measurements. Once he has them all he goes to the reader with the order for the robes, he has all the measurements written down under just Person 1, Person 2 etc. to keep their anonymity and when asked what the robes are for he just tells the reader it’s a book club. When he gets them all and the reader asks no further questions he thinks he’s gotten away with getting some cool robes for the Syndicate with their secrets safe. Little does he know the reader actually now knows all the members in the Syndicate since they can just reference the gotten measurements with everyone’s measurements written down from previous work done by them. Whether the reader thinks it’s some weird cult they all are a part of or just an actual book club people are too embarrassed to admit they are in, is up to interpretation. 
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maranello · 2 years
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I hope I’m not speaking too soon but I can’t help but attribute Ferrari’s operational success to Charles. Good strategies, fast pit stops, DOUBLE STACKS - he has that team built around him and everyone who doesn’t think so is blind. Like even the jokes and the dares with singing that pigeon song or whatever… I would have never imagined ferrari being so gone after one individual after Michael Schumacher. I love this team, their love for Charles and how he made them progress. I hope we have good years ahead of us because they both deserve it!!!
no comments on the future I fear we must not speak of Ch-name and F-team and their prospects for w-word-ing c-words in the future
I think it's a beautiful thing for Ferrari to believe in someone in such a way. It's not to say they didn't believe in their drivers after Michael nor do everything they can to win and win again. Michael's just different. He will always be an irreplaceable person to Ferrari, to the tifosi.
Charles, I think, while beloved by Ferrari, is also quite different from Michael in the role they respectively play at Ferrari. Michael came to them as a 2x world champion and a grown/matured leader, while they literally picked up Charles when he was still a boy and saw him/facilitated his growth into the man he is today. I think their attachment to him also comes from having that history, from when they picked him up in the Ferrari Driver Academy, but perhaps even before that because of Jules. I think they have known for a while that he is their future. And that future is now.
And Charles is still growing, as a driver and as a leader. I remember Binotto said something in 2020 or 2021 that Charles has that leadership potential and that he shares the same kind of winning mentality with Michael, but that he is still getting there. To be honest, I think throughout the course of 2021, no matter how many people might discount him because of how good a job Carlos had done, Charles has been growing in all those aspects that his final results don't quite reflect. By 2022, he's definitely built that camaraderie and also leadership within the team, especially after two very difficult years for the team. He'd been their constant through that.
But I think it would be unfair to the dedicated engineers, mechanics, and all the team members at Ferrari to solely Charles alone tbh. With or without Charles, I fully believe they would still be trying their damned hardest to get back to winning, and so we give credit to where credit is due to them for improving on all fronts. Also the years following Michael's retirement had been pretty fraught with political turmoil at a higher level, and it's never good for the team precisely because Ferrari's board has always been a lot more involved in the Scuderia's operations. Now, Ferrari on a corporate level has been more calm and I think our new CEO is not here as a temporary fix, and Mattia has been afforded the years and stability to actually build a team and let it gel, so the Ferrari we see this year is also credit to that as well.
But still, Charles. It’s easy to see how he has really cemented his place in the team. He's so easy-going and so hard-working. He gives 200% all the time. He's someone Ferrari can count on, but more importantly believe in. And he has similarly never lost faith in them. It's not hard to see how Ferrari finds itself gravitating towards him, with him. Sometimes the force of his being just seems to move you, you know? (Like Silverstone 2021...he made me believe right up to the checkered flag that we could win this. That feeling. That feels so Michael, all the best of Ferrari drivers in our history had that kind of quality.) His constant drive for improvement and the way he goes about it also just does feeds into a great culture for the team to improve on all the parts that had been missing when he first joined.
And somehow, I don't hope, I know we will see it come to fruition in the future.
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electricopolis-net · 2 years
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S02E03: Speed Demon
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Illustrated by Michael Stearns (twitter)
J. Jam was a DJ, but he was a lot of other things, too, like a songwriter, musician and general town activist. Above all else, he was a workaholic, which is why he had his notebook open on one of the outside tables at an out-of-the-way restaurant called Jodi's. It was hidden from most of the bustle on the top tier of the town, so, on a good night, he could usually avoid being interrupted by his two best friends.
"Hey, Jam!" A loud, insistent honking came from behind, and Jam turned to see Bob Sparker and Margaret King, ever the party animals, pull up in Sparker's lime green convertible. Looks like it wasn't a good night, then. "Buddy!"
"What's up?" Jam asked, pulling off his headphones. "I'm busy."
"You're eating," Margaret pointed out, leaning out of the window. "Let's go for a ride! You can eat in here!"
"I haven't even paid yet," he protested, holding up the bill. Past Margaret he could see Bob sitting in the driver's seat, sipping something out of a fast food cup. "Where are you guys even going?"
"Just for a ride! Come on, gimme that. Lemme see it," Margaret pressed, and Jam handed her the bill. She pulled out a pen, jotted something down on the paper and gave it a big, dramatic kiss, then handed it back. "It's my credit card number. Now you can come. I'll even let you ride shotgun!"
That was pretty persuasive, and it was a nice night anyway, so Jam ended up riding in the passenger's seat as they whipped their way around the streets and squares of the city. "So how are you doing, pal?" Bob asked, leaning over to wrap an arm around Jam's shoulders. "Working hard?"
"Yeah," he said, kicking back the seat and tilting his head back into the cool air. Through his dark glasses, he could see the dim spots of streetlights pass over his head. "I'm writing a new song. Haven't quite got it yet, but it's getting there."
"I was joking, you know," Bob said, raising his voice up above the wind as he turned back to the road. "When's the last time you had a dinner you didn't work through?"
"When's the last time you had a dinner that wasn't fast food?"
Bob let out a good-natured grumble, grabbed his empty drink, and sipped at it with a rattling sucking sound. Behind them, Margaret barked out a laugh. "He's got you there! So hey, Jam," she said, leaning over the shoulder of his seat. The streetlights glinted off her bright hair. "You got any plans tonight?"
"I gotta meet someone, actually," he said. "A buddy of mine who works in 1-3. Can you drop me off at the plaza? I'll take the bus."
"He lives on the first floor? I'll do you better than that," Bob said, and he turned the car off into a side street. "It'll be way too crowded at the plaza tonight. How about we take the back way?"
He rounded one corner, and then another, and ended up on a street that ran along the edge. Soon they could see the road split off into a lane on the right that was guarded by an unlocked gate. "I don't know if we're allowed to use these roads," Margaret quipped, as Bob parked the car and hopped out. "I think they're only for the electric company."
"Well, technically, I work for the electric company, and he works for the electric company," Bob said, pushing open the gate and swinging the chain loosely around a pylon. "And as for you, Miss King, I'm pretty sure you're the daughter of the guy who runs the electric company. So if we can't use it, who can?"
"Can't argue with that," Margaret yawned, and put her feet up.
They drove down the maintenance road that curved around and around the outer wall of the city, wrapped around it like a spiral staircase. It was a dark, clear night, and the winds that normally buffeted the town had quieted down to minor gales. "It takes longer to get to where you're going," Bob said, his voice a constant yammer, "but the view's one-of-a-kind, don't you think?"
Jam turned his head and peered. Through his sunglasses, he couldn't see anything, and he lifted them up. In the distance, the mountains around Electric Valley could be seen, tall and dark, and the ground was a greyish, barely rust-colored mass. "Yeah," he said. "One of a kind."
There was a veeerroowww as something sped past them in a flash of red. It was so fast that Bob's car jolted to the side, and he yelped as he struggled with the wheel.
"Whoa!" Jam gripped the side of the car door. "What was that? I thought you said nobody came this way!"
"Th-that's what I thought," Bob stammered, looking forwards and back. "I've never seen that car before!"
"Was it a car?" Margaret asked, pulling herself up from where she'd tumbled over in the back seat. "Didn't look like any car I've ever seen..."
For a brief moment there was quiet, and then, slowly, the red car came back into view. Its engine growled as it dropped further and further back. The two cars were almost level now, and they could get a good look at it: it was shiny and sleek, and through its tinted windows they could only barely make out the shape of someone's helmet.
"Holy shit," Jam whispered. "It's a racecar. Probably part of one of those underground gangs..."
"Underground what?" Bob echoed, his teeth almost chattering. "Gangs?"
"Yeah, the drag racers!" Margaret exclaimed, crawling over to the driver's side passenger seat and peering over the side of the door. "I heard those gearheads meet up in the dust valley around town! That's what people say, anyway."
The mystery car revved its engine and flashed its headlights twice. "Looks like he wants a little competition," Jam murmured. "He's asking if you want to race."
"Well, I don't!" Bob spat. He jerked the car away from the other driver, and tried to wave him ahead. "Just go, you maniac! I don't have time for--"
There was a horrible screech of metal on metal as the red car slammed up against Bob's green convertible. He let out a shriek as his car jolted again to the side, nearly grinding up against the concrete wall surrounding the city. Margaret yelled and fell back onto the seat, and even Jam gritted his teeth.
As Bob weaved over the road, the red car pulled up in front of them. Jam turned and looked over his shoulder as the driver kept their car in line with Bob's--
"This is bad," Jam said. "Bob..."
Before Jam could even say "watch out," the car pivoted its taillights upwards, flooding Bob's view with light. He yelped and threw his arm across his face, but Jam was already grabbing his shoulders and heaving him out of the driver's seat.
"I'll drive!" Jam hollered. "C'mon, man, keep cool!"
"But Jam, you don't--" Bob quickly crawled out of the driver's seat as Jam took his spot. "You don't drive!"
"I can!" he insisted, trying to keep all three of them calm. "Margie, call your dad!"
"One step ahead of you," she called out. Jam's gaze flickered to the rearview mirror, and she was laying so flat against the seat he could barely see her at all. All he could make out were the curls of her hair and the white shape of her cell phone, and that was enough.
As one of the few people in town who wore sunglasses all the time, the light barely bothered Jam at all. He grabbed the wheel and kept it turned, hugging the curve around the wall of the city.
"Who does this kid think they are?" Bob groused, rubbing at his eyes. "Agh...Jesus, that smarts!" An exit into the walls of the city whipped past them, then another. "That was 1-3," Bob said. "Jam, we missed it!"
"I know!" Jam hollered. "Margie, what did your dad say?"
"He said he's sending someone out right away!" Margie called out. "Just hang in there, Jam! Try and take the next exit!"
"I'll try," he responded, squinting into the light. "I dunno if I can, though..." He tried to head to the left, then the right, and either way the driver kept pace in front of him. "Hold on, guys, I'm gonna try something."
"What?" Bob asked. "Jam, what are you--"
Jam weaved to the left, then suddenly turned the wheel sharply to the right and hit the gas. He managed to squeeze up between the red racecar and the wall of the city, and Bob yelped and ducked down as the side of his lime-green convertible brushed up against the concrete, sending up a spray of sparks.
To make matters worse, the racecar was closing in to the side. "Get away from us!" Margaret yelled, sitting up in the back. She reached up to grab Bob's drink container and hurled it at the other car, sending the remains of the milkshake inside splattering, thick and gooey, across its windshield. It weaved from side to side, its tires screeching.
"Take that!" Margaret laughed. "That's what you get!"
"We're almost out of town!" Bob hollered. "Margie, get down, for God's sake! We're gonna end up in the--"
There was a screeeech and then a loud, long foooom as both cars bumped over the end of the road. Bob Sparker's car spun out, turning around and around as its tires squealed in the thick dust that covered Electric Valley. It raised dust clouds so thick and opaque that even after the car came to a stop, they couldn't see anything at all.
Bob, Jam and Margaret coughed and hacked, trying to wave the dust away. "Everyone okay?" Jam croaked. "Bob? Margie?"
"I'm good," Bob wheezed. "I wasn't the one standing up like a cowboy back there--"
"I'm fine," Margaret snapped, then burst into coughing. "Ugh...that was awful."
"You should see the other guy," Bob laughed weakly. "Speaking of which...where are they?"
Slowly, the dust dissipated on the wind. A hundred or so feet away was the red racecar, its headlights shining.
"I can't see anything inside," Jam said, taking off his glasses and squinting. "We should make sure they're okay."
"After what they did to my car?" Bob groused. "We should just leave 'em here. You're not supposed to move people who've been in a car accident anyway, right?"
"Only if they're injured," Jam pointed out. "Margie, can you...?"
Margaret stepped out of the car. "Yeah, okay," she said hoarsely. "At least now I can give 'em a good talking-to."
"Well, if you're going, then I'm going too," Bob chimed in, following her. "C'mon, Jam, let's make sure this guy knows who he's messing with!"
Bob and Jam watched as she strode over to the car, leaned over, and rapped hard on the driver side door. "Hey!" she said sternly. "Open up, you little punk!"
Slowly, the window squeaked downwards. The driver inside was wearing a full racing suit, complete with helmet, and aside from moving a little slowly and looking a little dazed, the three couldn't tell much about them.
"You okay?" Jam asked.
Margaret leaned down and muscled him out of the way. "What's the big idea?" she said. "You could have killed us, driving like that!" She pointed at herself. "Do you even know who I am? I'm Percy King's daughter! That's right! The Percy King!"
Bob leaned in too, poking his sizable nose through the window. "And I'm Bob Sparker," he added, waving. "That was my car."
The driver looked back and forth between the three of them. Suddenly, their gloved hands started to shake.
"My dad's gonna be here any minute, and when he does, you're gonna be--hey!" Margaret stammered as the window started coming back up. "You can't just do that! Cut that out! I'm not done yelling at you yet!"
"Ow!" Bob yelped, pulling his head back. "My nose!"
The driver slammed down the gas. Their tires squealed in the dust as they peeled out, and after the dust settled and they finished coughing and hacking, the three of them saw the red car traveling back up the looping road around the city.
"Man," Jam wheezed, almost doubled over. "That sucker sure got outta here fast."
"Pretty much the moment they saw our faces." Bob groaned and got back in his car, flopping bonelessly into the back seat. "You think they got scared?"
"They better have!" Margaret dusted herself off. "Well, whatever. Dad'll have them found in an hour tops. And when he does..."
"We'll get a good apology out of them, at least," Bob sighed. "Maybe some cash for the repairs...what's the damage, fellas? I can't bear to look."
Jam knelt down by the front of Bob's car. "Well, your tires are a mess, and the paint's all jacked up," he called out. Bob let out another world-weary groan. "And you got dents all up on this side, and one of your headlights is out..."
"Fantastic," Bob replied.
"It could be worse," Margie chimed in, pushing herself up to sit on the hood of the car. "It probably still runs, right?"
"Yeah, but let's wait for the cavalry." Bob put his feet up on the top of the car door, crossing his legs at the ankles. "I don't want anyone to see me in this thing when it's all messed up...and besides, I really, really don't feel like driving anymore tonight. Do you, Jam?"
"No," he agreed, getting into the passenger side front seat. He took off his dark glasses and wiped them on his shirt. "Man...what a night."
"What a night," Margie agreed. "We'll just wait here, okay, guys? It won't be long."
The three of them stayed in the dark valley, watching the wind travel slowly across the earth, carrying billowing puffs of dust across the distance. Far away, they could see the ring of mountains that encircled the city, sitting underneath a sky black as charcoal and mottled with deep grey clouds.
"This is spooky," Margaret whispered, pulling her coat around herself. "Isn't it? It's all quiet."
"I like it," Jam sighed, leaning his head back. "Its real soothing. To me, anyway."
"Mm." Bob yawned. "Well, I don't like it, but I ain't staying out here, so it doesn't matter. Soon we'll be back in the top tier, safe 'n' sound. Oh yeah, and I'll get our ride to drop you off at 1-3," he added, nodding towards Jam. "Sorry my little shortcut got us in trouble."
"It ain't your fault," Jam said. He let out a deep groan as he stretched his arms above his head. "It's the traffic that was hell."
Bob let out a laugh, and even Margaret snorted a little. And in the distance they could see the sparkling lights of a small force of police cars, followed by a tow truck, traveling down the city loop.
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Michael Riedel vs Bernadette Peters – the Broadway Battle of 2003 and beyond
My previous piece gives a fairly comprehensive look at Bernadette and Gypsy through the ages; though there is at least one aspect of the 2003 revival that warrants further discussion:
Namely, Michael Riedel.
Today’s essay question then: “Riedel – gossip columnist extraordinaire, the “Butcher of Broadway”, spited male vindictive over not getting a lunch date with Bernadette Peters, or puppet-like mouthpiece of theatre’s shadowed elite? Discuss.”
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It’s matter retrievable in print, or even kept alive in apocryphal memory throughout the theatre community to this day that Riedel was responsible for a campaign of unrelenting and caustic defamation against Bernadette as Rose in Gypsy around the 2003 season.
While “tabloids may [have been] sniping and the Internet chat rooms chirping”, when looking back at the minutiae, none were more vocal, prolific or influential in colouring early judgment than the “chief vulture [of] Mr. Riedel, who had written a string of vitriolic columns in which he said from the start that Ms. Peters was miscast”.
He continued to find other complaints and regularly attack her in print over an extended period of time.
Why? We’ll get there. There are a few theories to suggest. Firstly, how and what.
Primary to establish is that it perhaps would be foolish to expect anything else of Riedel.
Also an author and radio and TV show host, Riedel is best known as the “vituperative and compulsively readable” theatre columnist at The New York Post.
He’s a man who thrives on controversy, decrying: “Gossip is life!”
The man who says, “I’m a wimp when it comes to physical violence, but give me a keyboard and I’ll kill ya.”
“Inflicting pain, for him, is a jokey thing. ‘Michael has this cruel streak and a lack of empathy,’ says Susan Haskins, his close friend and co-host.”
And inflicting pain is what he did with Bernadette, in a saga that has become one of the most talked about and enduring moments of his career.
From the beginning, then.
Riedel started work at The Post in 1998.
His first words on Bernadette? “Oddly miscast in the Ethel Merman role,” in August of that year on Annie Get Your Gun. It was a sentiment he would carry across to his second mention six months later (“a seemingly odd choice to play the robust Annie Oakley”), and also across to the heart of his vitriolic coverage on her next Merman role in Gypsy.
 Negative coverage on Bernadette in Gypsy started in August 2002 when Riedel discussed the search for trying to find a new American producer for the show. It had initially been reported in late 2000 that a Gypsy revival with Bernadette was planned for London, before it was to transfer to Broadway. To begin with, Arthur Laurents was “eager to do Gypsy in London because it hadn't been seen in the West End since 1973”, and he “wanted to repeat [the] dreamlike triumph” he said Angela Lansbury’s production had been. But economic matters prevented this original plan, leaving the team looking for new producers in the US. Riedel suggested that Fran and Barry Wiessler step up as, “after all, they managed to sell the hell out of "Annie Get Your Gun," in which Peters…was also woefully miscast.”
He also quipped: “Industry joke: "Bernadette Peters in 'Gypsy'? Isn't she a little old to be playing Baby June?”, calling her “cutesy Peters” and again a “kewpie doll”.
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Bernadette here seen side by side with the actual Baby June of the 2003 production – Kate Reinders.
Other publications to this point had discussed her “unusual” casting. Which was fairly self-evident. In contrast to being a surprising revelation that Bernadette Peters was not, in fact, Ethel Merman, this had been the intention from the start. Librettist Arthur “Laurents – whose idea it was to hire her – [said] going against type is exactly the point,” and Sam Mendes, as director, qualified “the tradition of battle axes in that role has been explored”.
It was Riedel who was the first to shift the focus from the obvious point that she was ‘differently cast’, to instead attach the negative prefix and intone that she was actually ‘MIS’ cast. According to him then, she was unsuitable, and would be unable to “carry the show, dramatically or vocally”. All before she had so much as sung a note or donned a stitch of her costume.
So no, it wasn’t then “the perception, widely held within the theater industry,” as he presented it, “that Peters is woefully miscast as Mama Rose”.
It was Riedel’s perception. And he took it, and ran with it, along with whatever else he could throw into the mix to drag both her and the show down for the next two years.
 As to another indication of how one single columnist can influence opinion and warp wider perception, just look to Riedel’s assessment of the show’s first preview. It is typically known as Riedel’s forte to “[break] with Broadway convention, [where] he attends the first night of previews, and reports on the problems…before the critics have their say”. This gives him “clout” by way of mining “terrain that goes relatively uncovered elsewhere”, and it means subsequent journals are frequently looking to him from whom to take their lead – and quotes.
At Gypsy’s opening preview then, he reported visions of “Arthur Laurents [charging] up the aisle…on fire”, loudly and vocally expressing his dissatisfaction with the show as he then “read Fox [a producer] the riot act”. Despite the fact that this was “not true, according to Laurents,” the damage was already done, with the sentiment of trouble and tension being subsequently reprinted and distributed out to the public across many a regional paper.
News travels fast, bad news travels faster.
 And news can be created at an ample rate, when in possession of one’s own regular periodical column. This recurring domain allowed plentiful opportunity for attack on Bernadette and Gypsy, and Riedel “began devoting nearly every column to the subject,” which amounted to weekly or even more frequent references.
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As the show progressed beyond its first preview, Riedel brought in the next aspects of his smear-campaign – assailing Bernadette for missing performances through illness and accusing Ben Brantley, who reviewed the show positively in The New York Times, of unfair favouritism and “hyperbolic spin”.
The issue is not that Bernadette was not in fact ill or missing performances. She was. She had a diagnosis at first of “a cold and vocal strain”, that then progressed more seriously to a “respiratory infection” the following week, and was “told by her doctors that she needs to rest”. So rest she did.
The issue is the way in which Riedel depicted the situation and her absences via hyperbole and “insinuating she was shirking” responsibility. He went further than continual, repeated mentions and cruel article titles like “wilted Rose”, or “sick Rose losing bloom”, or “beloved but - ahem-cough-cough-ahem - vocally challenged and miscast star”. He went as far as the sensationalist and degrading action of putting “Peters' face on the side of a milk carton, the kind of advertisement typically used to recover lost children,” and asking readers to look out for “bee-stung lips, [a] high-pitched voice, [and a] kewpie doll figure”, who “may be clutching a box of tissues and a love letter from Ben Brantley”.
It was quantified in May of 2003 after the show had officially opened, that “out of the 39 performances "Gypsy" has played so far, [Bernadette] has missed six – an absence rate of 15 percent.”
As an interesting comparison, it was reported in The Times in February 2002 that “‘The Producers' stars Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick have performed together only eight times in last 43 performances due to scheduling problems and health concerns,” – an absence rate of 81%.
Did Riedel have anything nearly as ardent to say about the main male stars of the previous season’s hit missing such a rate of performances? Of course not.
 Riedel arguably has a disproportionate rate for criticising female divas.
One need only heed his recommendations that certain women check into his illuminatingly named “Rosie's Rest Home for Broadway Divas.” Divos need not apply.
Not that he was unaware of this.
In 2004, Riedel would jovially lay out that “Liz Smith and I have developed a nice tag-team act: I bash fragile Broadway leading ladies who miss performances, and she rides to their rescue.”
Donna Murphy was the recipient of what he that year dubbed his “BERNADETTE PETERS ATTENDANCE AWARD”, when she began missing performances in “Wonderful Town”, due to “severe back and neck injuries and a series of colds and sinus infections”.
This speaks to his remarkably cavalier and joyful attitude with which he tears down shows and performers. “The more Mr. Riedel's work upsets people, the more he enjoys it.”
He knows he yields influence – it was recognised he had “eclipsed Ben Brantley as the single most discussed element in marketing meetings for Broadway shows” – and he delights in his capacity to lead shows to premature demises through his poison-tipped quill yielding.
When it was reported Gypsy would be closing earlier than had been planned, he made mention of “hop[ping] around on [its] grave” and debonairly applauding himself, “I suppose I can take some credit for bringing it down”.
 His premonition from the previous year’s Tony’s ceremony was both ominous and prescient, when he predicted the show’s failure to win any awards “could spell trouble at the box office”. He was right. It did. The 8.5 million dollar revival closed months before anticipated and failed to return a profit.
Multiple factors can be attributed to Gypsy’s poor success at the Tony’s, but it’s clear to say Riedel’s continual bashing leading up to the fated night throughout the voting period certainly didn’t help matters.
His suggestions to do with Bernadette’s performances were not helpful either.
After alleging Laurents as the director of the 1991 revival “practically beat a performance out of” Tyne Daly when she was struggling with the role, he proffers that to improve Bernadette’s success, “it may be time for [Laurents] to take up the switch and thrash one out of Peters”.
Great.
It was irresponsible and unrelenting commentary that did not go unnoticed.
His “ruthless heckling of beloved Broadway star Ms. Peters” was deemed in print “his most egregious stunt so far”.
Vividly, in person, Riedel was accosted at a party one night by Floria Lasky, the venerable showbiz lawyer, who “grab[bed] Riedel’s tie and jerk[ed] it, nooselike, scolding, ‘It was unfair, what you did to Bernadette’”.
Moreover, the wide-reaching influential hold Riedel occupied over the environment surrounding Gypsy was tangible in the fact his words spread beyond just average readers, and even unusually “started seeping into the reviews of New York's top critics”. Riedel himself, as the “chief vulture”, was indeed what Ben Brantley was referring to in his own New York Times review by stating how the production was “shadowed by vultures predicting disaster”.
Even more substantially, the “whole Peters-Riedel-Brantley episode” became its own enduring cultural reference – being converted into its very own “satiric cabaret piece, ‘Bernadette and the Butcher of Broadway’”. All three parties were featured, with Riedel characterised as the butcher, and it played Off-Broadway later in 2003 “to positive notices”.
 But penitent for his sins and begging for absolution Riedel was not. “Riedel saw nothing but a great story and a great time,” and for many years after, he would continue to hark back to the matter in self-referential (almost reverential) and flippant ways.
In 2008 as Patti LuPone won her Tony for her turn as Rose in the subsequent revival, Riedel couldn’t help but jibe, “Not to rip open an old wound, but I'd love to know if Bernadette Peters was watching”. (He neglects also to mention that “Mendes’s Gypsy was seen by 100,000 more people than saw Laurents’s and grossed $6 million more”.)
More jibes are to be found in 2012 as he reported on the auction after Arthur Laurents’ funeral, or even as recently in 2019, as he asked, “Remember the outcry that greeted Sam Mendes’ Brechtian “Gypsy,” with Bernadette Peters, in 2003?”
As with in 2004 where he points to the “pack of jackals who have been snarling” about Bernadette’s failures, this brings up the canny knack Riedel has of offloading his views to bigger and detached third party sources – thus absolving himself of personal centrality, and thus culpability.
If there was an outcry, HE was its loudest contributor. If there were snarling jackals, HE was their leader.
Maybe Riedel’s third person detached approach to referencing matters was intended to be a humorous stylistic quirk for those in the know. Or maybe it was his way of expressing some inner turmoil over the event.
In some rare display of morality and emotional authenticity, Riedel would at one point admit “I find it kind of sad and pathetic that the high point of my life supposedly has been about beating up on Bernadette Peters”.
Fortunately for him then, a degree of absolution was eventually achieved in 2018, where Riedel visited Bernadette at her opening night in Hello Dolly in 2018, with the intention of ending their “15-year feud”. He “got down on one knee at Sardi’s and extended his hand,” with Bernadette reportedly yelling “Take a picture!” while he held his deferential and obsequious position on the floor.
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So if eventually this “feud” has some kind of circular resolution and Riedel was glad it was over, why on earth did it begin in the first place?
One notion is that it was simply another day on the job. Riedel is a man who sees Broadway as “a game for rich people”. Positioned as an “an industry that brought in $720.9 million in the 2002-2003 season”, it is “not a fragile business”, he remarked. As such, he “[could not] fathom the point of donning kid gloves” in covering it, and reasoned the business as a whole was robust enough to weather a few hard knocks. “Thus, Riedel can coolly view Bernadette Peters as fair game, as opposed to, say, a national treasure”.
More to the point, he was a man in search of words. During the season in question, Riedel was “one of just three New York newspaper columnists covering the stage” – a “throwback to a bygone era when…Broadway gossipmeisters…such as Walter Winchell and Dorothy Kilgallen ruled”. Now at the time, as the “last of a great tabloid tradition”, Riedel presided over not just one but two columns a week at The Post. As a result, he was in need of content. “One of the reasons I've become more opinionated is I just have more space to fill,” he admitted. Robert Simonson hypothesises in his book ‘On Broadway Men, Still Wear Hats’ that Riedel may have consequently picked “the thrashing of Bernadette” as his main target simply because “it was a slow news cycle”. Options for ‘titillating’ and durable content were scarce elsewhere that season.
And after all, if Riedel would later cite Bernadette in an article concerning the Top 10 Powerhouses of Broadway in 2004, saying even despite a few knocks or bad shows, “she’ll bounce back” – surely there was no real damage done.
If her career wouldn’t be toppled by his continual public defamation and haranguing, what was the harm?
Feelings? Who cares about feelings or Bernadette’s extremely complex and personal history with the show stretching back to when she was a teenager.
It was just part of the territory, there was nothing personal in it.
 Or was there?
Maybe there was something personal in Riedel’s campaign after all.
He makes a curious comment while discussing ‘A Raisin in the Sun’ in 2004. The then incoming star of the show, rapper P. Diddy, had invited Riedel to dinner, and he makes judgement that this was “a smart p.r. move”. Then he ponders, “you do have to wonder: If Bernadette Peters had broken bread with me this time last year, would her chorus boys have to be out there now working the TKTS line to keep "Gypsy" afloat?”
Might he be going as far to suggest that if Bernadette had indulged him in a meal, her show might not have suffered so, by way of him being more inclined to cover it with greater lenience?
It may seem that way, at least in considering how Riedel reviewed P. Diddy’s performance thus after their dinner: “Riedel pronounced himself impressed. ‘He could have forgotten his lines or had to be carried offstage. He didn’t do anything terrible, he didn’t do anything astonishing.’”
Seemingly all the rapper had to do was remember some words and remain physically onstage, and he sails through scot-free. That’s a rather different outcome, one could say, to being absolutely eviscerated for what became a Tony nominated effort at one of the appreciably hardest and most demanding musical theatre roles in existence.
Though perhaps it’s hard to tell if that was really his insinuation from just one isolated comment pertaining to lunch.
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This argument might be fine, if it WAS the only isolated comment pertaining to wanting Bernadette to have lunch with him. But it isn’t. Riedel continues to make a further two references over protracted periods of time to the fact Bernadette hasn’t dined with him.
One begins to get the sense of him feeling desiring of or somewhat entitled to such a private lunch with the lady he’s verbally decimated for years, and a sense of bitter rejection that he hasn’t been granted one.
“If Tonya Pinkins doesn't win the Tony Award this year, I'll buy Bernadette Peters lunch,” he simpered, and later, “I invite Bernadette to be my guest for lunch at a restaurant of her choosing. She can reach me at The Post anytime she's hungry”.
The embittered columnist in this light takes on now the marred tinge of a small boy in the playground who doesn’t get to hold the hand of the girl he wants in front of his friends, so spends the next three years pushing her over in the sandpit in revenge.
Moreover, the last statement makes undeniable comment on Bernadette’s troubled relationship with food, body image and public eating.
So now not only so far has he insulted and mocked her physical appearance and played into all the usual trite shots calling her a “kewpie doll”; suggested Arthur Laurents violently hit her in order to elicit a better performance; continually publicly harassed her regarding a show that strikes close to the nerve with deep personal and psychological resonances due to her mother and childhood; but now he’s going for the low-blows of ridiculing her over her eating habits.
Flawless behaviour.
 Maybe it’s far-fetched to suggest a man would have such a fragile ego to run a multi-year public defamation campaign after so little as not getting his hypothesised fantasy of a personal lunch date. But then again, this was the man who “left Johns Hopkins University after his first year because of a broken heart.” (“I was in love with her; she wasn't in love with me,” he said.)
And also the man described as “an insomniac who pops the occasional Ambien,” living in a “small one-bedroom” that is “single-guy sloppy”, who has “been living alone since a four-year romance ended in 1996”.
The man whose own best friend called “cruel” and with a “lack of empathy”.
The man whose own sister answered that “well, yes,” he’s always been mean; and after being picked on as a kid for “being the small guy and the intellectual”, he grew dependent on using “his verbal ability to beat someone” and put himself in positions of defensive impenetrability.
See, writing Riedel-esque, vindictive and provocative conjecture is no especially challenging or cerebral task.
Riedel may well see his approach to ‘journalism’ or reporting as “all fun and games”.
But I for one am not laughing.
 One final aspect to address when considering Riedel’s reasoning for the depth of his coverage on Bernadette demands attention of how he gets his information. His own personal opinions and motivations aside, crucially he depends on insider providers for insider details. Perhaps somewhat alarmingly then, “leading Broadway producers themselves are among his sources”.
“Half of Broadway hates him. The other half leaks to him”, John Heilpern titled his 2012 Vanity Fair profile on Riedel.
As such, in frequently taking his lead from “theater folk, usually with an ax to grind”, Riedel acts as the mouthpiece to bring secretive backstage reports out front. High-up, influential characters are thus able to funnel their agendas into public view, while keeping their identities hidden.
Notably, it was raised in the above article that Riedel’s “merciless running story” regarding Bernadette in Gypsy “was fed by none other than its renowned librettist, Arthur Laurents—or, more precisely, by Laurents's lover”.
Contrary to the smiley picture below between members of the show’s creative team and it’s beloved star, it was no secret that Laurents did not like Mendes’ 2003 revival. Laurents told Riedel that “Sam did a terrible disservice to Bernadette and the play, and I wanted a Gypsy seen in New York that was good… You have to have musical theater in your bones, and Sam doesn't”. In fact, Laurents admitted the only reason his 2009 book ‘Mainly on Directing’ came into existence was because of how much he had to criticise about the show – it grew out of the extensive set of notes he gave Mendes.
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Additionally, it was no secret that Laurents’ lover, Tom Hatcher, demonstrated both a desire and capacity to influence Arthur’s productions. As well as being the driving force for the 2009 Spanish-speaking reworking of West Side Story, Hatcher had intense investment in Gypsy specifically. Patti LuPone writes in her memoir, “From his deathbed, Tom had told Arthur, ‘You have to do Gypsy, and you have to do it with Patti’. It was one of his dying wishes”. Laurents himself, in corroboration of this, explained Tom’s reasoning – “he didn't want the Sam Mendes production to be New York's last memory of Gypsy”.
The allegation in Heilpern’s profile might be hard to prove from an outsider perspective. But given that neither were happy with Mendes’ production and both actively took steps to ensuring it would be superseded in memory, it is not completely implausible.
 Overarchingly, as much as Riedel’s writing may benefit FROM insider sources, it is said he does not write in benefit OF them. For instance, although friends with Scott Rudin in 2004, an animated (nay threatening) warning from Mr Rudin asking Riedel to “back off” from “slamming” his show, Caroline or Change, seemingly “had no impact”.
That’s not to cite total impartiality or exemption from personal connections and higher up influences colouring his reports of shows. Theatre publicist John Barlow would describe that sometimes “if you ask Michael to kill [one of his pieces], he will, if it’s someone with whom he does business”.
But it would be remiss not to mention that his influences and sources stretch beyond just the big wigs. Amongst his other informants too are the more lowly, overlooked folk like “the stagehands, the ushers, chorus kids, house managers, and press agents… the guys who build sets in the Bronx”. Basically, for anyone who’ll talk, Riedel will listen.
“Michael Riedel doesn't work for the producers or the publicists; he works for the reader,” one publicist said. “Sometimes we're glad of that, sometimes we're not-but at the end of the day, that's the reality.”
Sometimes he’s nice, sometimes he’s not – but the world goes round.
Through all that’s been explored, it should be stated how painful and injurious it must be for individual performers or shows to fall upon the unmitigated, maiming force of being on the wrong side of Riedel’s favour. The way he approached coverage on Bernadette is deplorable from an emotional and personal standpoint. Some would argue that it was too far and crossed a line and was most definitely unfair. Others would say it was justified. It’s hard not to sound petulant as the former, or heartless as the latter.
While his actions may indeed be abrasively wounding in isolated (often plentiful) cases, it’s unreasonable to say Riedel’s intentions would be to cripple the Broadway industry as a whole. There are those who purport that Riedel in fact “keeps Broadway alive with his controversies”. His words may not always be ‘nice’ but it’s difficult to argue they're not engaging.
Many are quick to criticize or react impassionedly to him and his columns; but few are quick to stop reading them. And Riedel “knows that the most important thing is being well read”.
Hence it is understandable why Riedel is appraised as “the columnist Broadway loves to hate”. Through his enthralling and stimulating bag of linguistic and dramatic tricks, Riedel knows how to keep the readers coming back. “He’s lively, and he makes the theater seem like an interesting place,” one producer did reason.
“There are times when no one's going to care about Broadway if you don't have a gossip angle that focuses on the backstage drama,” opined George Rush, the Daily News gossip columnist who was once Riedel's boss.
Perhaps it is logically and principally then, if somewhat cynically, a matter of believing “it's just business” and knowing how to “play the game”.
As Riedel himself would rationalise, “It’s all an act. You gotta have a gimmick, as they say in Gypsy.”
It may not be pleasant, but in a world increasingly dependent on sensationalistic and clickbait-driven engagement, it’s probably not going to change any time soon.
 Well then, if he can live with the toll of the position of moral tumult his column puts him in, so be it.
That he described his mind as being “constantly on the next deadline”, saying “I always think about the column”, and likening writing it to “standing under a windmill”, where “you dodge one blade, but there's always another one coming right behind it”, may be some indication that he can't. At least not wholly easily.
I’ll leave that to him to figure out. Off the record.
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neptuneofthesky · 3 years
Text
MCYT Incorrect Quotes
Featuring | Dream, Gerogenotfound, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Skeppy, Karl Jacobs, Quackity, Philza Minecraft, Technoblade, Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, Tubbo, Ranboo, Michael, The Egg, Red vines
Next Part
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Skeppy: I'm sad
Bad: (puts an arm around him) hey, it's ok, I'm here for you
Dream: George, I'm sad
George: mood
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Dream: I'm good at hiding my crush
George: hey guys I'm back
Dream: I-i have to gay- I mean GO-
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Dream: I love sunglasses
Dream: am I looking at that tree? am I looking at George's ass?
Dream: you'll never be able to tell
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Skeppy: *admiring bad* he is so cool, he could hit me with a car and I'd thank him
Techno: we'd thank him too
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Wilbur: you know when I first met you I thought u were a real bitch
Tommy: so, what changed?
Wilbur: I still think you are a real bitch, I've just grown to like that about you
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Dream walks into Sapnap's room
Sapnap: hello Dream I hope you are well
Sapnap: so you may be wondering why I am glued to the ceiling
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George: crushes are the worst
Dream: yeah, whenever I'm near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid
George: you are always acting stupid
Dream: yeah, don't think about that too hard
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George: I fell-
Dream: from heaven?
George: no, I actually fell-
Dream: in love with me the moment you saw me?
George: MY ARM IS BROKEN
Dream: ok but do you think I'm pretty? be honest
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Tommy: is the pink panther a lion?
Techno: ........ say that again but slower
Tommy:
Tommy: I don't get it
Wilbur: he's the PINK PANTHER
Tommy: okay?? But is he a lion?
Philza: Tommy, he's a panther
Tommy :
Tommy: is that a kind of lion?
Wilbur: no, its a PANTHER
Tommy: I just googled it, they're not pink tho
Techno: AND LIONS ARE?
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Tommy: yesterday I yote my water bottle down the stairs and almost hit Tubbo
Wilbur: I- did you just use yeet in the past sense?
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Tubbo: wanna hang out tomorrow?
Tommy: can't I have a doctors appointment
Tubbo: say you're sick or something and just cancel
Tommy: ......
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Philza: can I speak to you for a minute?
Tommy: oooooh someone is in trouble!
Philza:
Tommy: it's me I down know why I did that
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Bad: why is Karl laying on the ground screaming into a pillow?
Quackity: oh, he's been like that for a few minutes.
Bad: but, why?
Quackity: Sapnap giggled at his joke.
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Dream: love is in the air
George: *spraying a can of Febreeze and holding his shirt over his nose* not anymore.
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Philza: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?
Techno: *yelling* hey Tommy! how tall are you?
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Techno, talking on the phone: Phil, I have good news and bad news
Philza: just give me the good news
Techno: the smoke alarm is functioning perfectly
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Skeppy: who do you think is hotter, me or the sun?
Bad: the sun
Skeppy: okay, let me rephrase it. who do you think is hotter, me, your amazingly adorable best friend who loves you very much, or the sun?
Bad: the sun
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Quackity: I have an idea!
Karl: no bullying Bad today
Quackity: I no longer have an idea
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Wilbur: is the past tense yeet or yeeted??
Techno: yeet is the present tense, but yote could be the past tense too!
Philza: I just want to know who threw Tommy out of the window
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Bad: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!
Bad: *aggressively throws water bottles at everyone*
Geroge: uh...
Dream: he's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us
Bad: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU
Sapnap: *crying* it's working
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George: I hate you with every inch of my body
Sapnap: That's not a lot of inches
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Bad: I don't know if they'll notice, but I slipped a little note in each of my friend's bad to let them know that I love them
Skeppy, pulling out a twenty-five-page note: what the fuck-
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Dream: I don't know. I just feel like we are destined to be together. I mean, look at how fate keeps throwing us together!
George: it's three am and you're stuck in the middle of my window. how did you even get here?
Dream: I just told you. fate.
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Philza: Tommy, I know you three toilet papered my garden
Wilbur: *whispers* play dumb!
Tommy: who's Tommy?
Techno: *whispers* not that dumb!
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Bad: tell us a secret, Dream.
Dream: uh, okay! I have a crush on George!
Sapnap: no, dream, he said secret.
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Wilbur: Tommy is in the pool and I don't think he is waterproof
Philza: what
Techno: I think he means Tommy is drowning
Philza: oh okay
Philza:
Philza: WAIT WHAT
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Quackity: can I get a strawberry milkshake with two straws, please?
Karl, thinking: aw, that's cute... he wants to share his milkshake with me
[later]
Quackity, putting both straws in his mouth: hey, watch how fast I can drink this
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Quackity: I- I think I saw a monster
Tubbo, terrified: w-where?
Quackity, pointing at the door: THERE
Tubbo: SLENDERMAN!!
Ranboo, opening the lights: shut up, it's just me
[This one is because Tubbo and Quackity are one of the shortest ;) ]
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Philza: who broke the flower pots?
Techno: it was Tommy
Wilbur: it was Tommy
Tommy: it was Tommy
Philza:
Tommy: dammit
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Policeman: so, what's your name?
Tubbo: don't tell him, Tommy
Policeman writes down: okay, Tommy
Tommy: dammit Tubbo
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George: Interrupt my sleeping and I will interrupt your breathing :)
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Sapnap: hey, is anyone else d-
Tommy: dead?
Wilbur: depressed?
Dream: drained?
Techno: deprived of sleep?
Sapnap: ...done with your work? What is wrong with you people?
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Karl: hey, how much money do you have?
Quackity: uh.. 69 cents
Karl: ayy, you know what that means!!
Quackity: *choking up* I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets.
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Ranboo: *exists*
Tommy: you got a problem mate?
Tommy: I mean, you are so tall, you must got a problem
Ranboo: I'm just sitting here
Tommy: WAS UP
Ranboo: a-are you trying to fight me?
Tommy: WAS UP
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Tommy: why don't women have to take the DNA test to see if the child is their's
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Michael: papa, there's a monster under my bed!
Ranboo, tucking him in: Don't worry bud. There are no monsters in this house.
Michel: can you check, please?
Ranboo: alright.
Ranboo: *kneels down to check*
Techno: subscribe to Technoblade
Ranboo: *startled* WHAT THE-
(Credits to @/your.gehenna on Instagram)
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George: I think Dream was right.
Sapnap: I'm surprised he hadn't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'
Geroge: he wouldn't do that.
Dream: you're right, George. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.
Dream: *turns around, the shirt he is wearing says 'Dream Told You So' on the back*
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Sapnap: You lying, cheating piece of shit!
Dream: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Dream: I'm leaving you and I'M TAKING GEORGE WITH ME
Bad, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now
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Quackity: why are Bad and skeppy sitting with their backs to each other?
Karl: they had a fight.
Quackity: then why are they holding hands?
Karl: they get sad when they fight
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Ranboo:*serenading* with you, 60 minutes feel like an hour
Tubbo:*almost in tears*
Tommy: what the fuck
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The Egg: I just ended a four-year relationship.
Red Vines: oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
The Egg: hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship.
*Bad and Skeppy fighting from across the room*
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