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from-seas-to-skies · 3 years

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Farm Grown / Hawks x Reader ♕︎

uwu, I had the lovely @weirddpand4 draw this picture of cowboy Hawks for this work!!!

warnings: NSFW, spanking, cream pie

words: 4,802

“Oh, wow! Look at that! I’ve never seen grass so green before!” your friend, Urakaka Ochaco, exclaims.

Glancing up from your phone, you follow her line of vision; gracious hills of rich green grass stretch out far into the horizon, meeting with the brilliant shade of blue. It’s so unlike the skyscrapers and closely-knit houses you’re used to seeing. No, this is what pure beauty looks like, Mother Nature in one of her most wonderful forms. Although the fields are dotted with wildflowers and corn fields, you don’t miss the dirt road further up ahead, a large wooden sign planted next to it.

When Ochaco originally came to you with the idea of being a farmhand, you thought she was crazy. You’ve finally graduated from high school, got the title of professional hero, and this is the first thing she wanted to do? However, as she further explained, it was a family friend who needed help during the summer months, and what were heroes for? Granted, you wanted to run around the cement jungle and provide help that way, but this “almost vacation” didn’t sound too bad – plus, with the puppy eyes Ochaco flashed at you, it was impossible to say no.

And so, here you are, sitting in the passenger side of a coupe with Ochaco behind the wheel. You have to admit; the surrounding atmosphere is beautiful, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to run barefoot through the grass. Clouds of dust rise as the car eventually comes to a stop outside of a weathered farmhouse. Ochako flashes you a smile, her large eyes twinkling.

“Look at how huge this place is! I know Uncle Iroh said he had a couple people helping out, but this is incredible! We’ll each have our own room!”

You can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. Ochaco’s always been easy to rile up, and the fact that she’s genuinely excited to spend quality “bonding time” with you is heartwarming. As the two of you step out of the car, the front door to the farmhouse opens, revealing an elderly man with a long beard and a kind expression. His face cracks into a smile when he and Ochaco make eye contact; the two hurry towards each other, warm greetings and bone-crushing hugs being shared between the two. It’s no wonder Ochaco was so excited to spend the summer here; with a relationship like that, you’d be happy to see the man too.

“Oh, come, come!” Iroh says, hurrying around the car and popping the trunk open. “You must be Ochaco’s friend, yes?” he asks, looking towards you. A wave of pleasant warmth washes over your being as he sends you that charming smile. “I appreciate the help! I only have my nephew and another man working here already, but the extra hands will come in handy.” He pauses then to chuckle at his own joke. “But I think it’s about you two get settled, yeah?”

“Right!” you respond, pulling out your own suitcase.

As you walk up towards the wraparound porch, you glance to the other trucks sitting out in front of the farmhouse. Iroh said two others were already here, so you figured the trucks must be theirs…

“Zuko!” Iroh booms. “Our guests are here!”

After a moment or so, a boy around your age staggers from the kitchen, a tray in his hands. From the looks of it, a teapot and some cups line its surface.

“Tea is our specialty, here,” Iroh says, nudging you with your shoulder. “Get something to drink and then we’ll show you your rooms.”

Later on that evening, you’re gazing out your window, watching the sun fall. Hues of orange, peach, and lilac paint the sky, bidding the world goodbye for the night. It’s definitely different to experience it here than back home, back where silhouettes were outlined by the golden glow. A steady breeze carries on, carrying the scent of wildflowers and musk; your curtains flap from the sheer force of it, but you pay it no mind. It’s like Ochaco brought you to a slice of paradise, even if it’s with the intention of putting in labor.

In the distance, you hear calls and the distinguished moos of cows. Shifting your gaze, you catch a herd of cows being moved towards a barn; a man riding a brown horse wrangles them in, a border collie by his side. The way he pulls it off is smooth, and it’s clear that he’s used to pulling such a feat. However, what really catches your attention is the pair of magnificent scarlet wings protruding from his back. Now, you’re used to seeing some rather flashy quirks, but this guy’s is just… Wow.

“Hey, Uncle Iroh wanted me to come get you,” Ochaco’s voice says suddenly. Turning around, you see her standing in the doorway, a pleasant expression playing on her face. “We’re having oyakodon for dinner! Doesn’t a hot meal sound delicious?” And, as if to amp up your spirits, Ochaco licks her lips and pats her tummy. “I’m so hungry from a long drive!”

You huff in amusement. “Yeah, I am too.” Turning around, you catch a glimpse of the cows disappearing into the barn, that mysterious cowboy stationed by the doors. “Hey, Ochaco,” you start before realizing it, “but who’s that other guy that lives here? The one with the wings?”

Walking over to where you stand, Ochaco peers out the window, following your line of sight. “Oh, him? That’s Keigo. Uncle Iroh says he’s only been here for the past year or so, but he’s really good at what he does! I heard all the animals like him a lot – maybe it’s because of the wings?”

“Don’t you think it’s… odd that’s only a farmhand? With a quirk like that, you’d think he’d be doing something else.”

Ochaco shrugs. “I dunno. Maybe you should ask him sometime? Oh, but I’m really hungry! Can we go eat, now?”

“Yeah, sorry, I just got distracted…”

And so, you soon find yourself sitting at a sturdy wooden table, a bowl of oyakodon sitting before you. It smells utterly delicious - and paired with the tea Iroh brewed, you know you’re in for a treat. Just then, you hear a door opening and closing; there’s a chatter of some sorts, but then there he is, right there in the flesh.

Strong build, wide shoulders, blond hair that looks permanently tousled, and oh yes, those magnificent wings. Perhaps you shouldn’t be staring so much, but the sharp line of his jaw and intense eyes make it nearly impossible to look away. You’ve heard of such things, read about them in stories, but maybe, just maybe, you might’ve fallen for the guy at first sight. That, or he’s just too damn attractive for his own good.

“Howdy! Oh, shit, who are these two cuties?”

Or maybe not.

“Oi! Keigo! Can’t you be respectful for once in your life?” Iroh barks, popping around the other. He scowls as he slaps a wing out of his way. “Make a good impression for yourself. These two are going to be here for the rest of the summer, so don’t be an ass.”

“C’mon, gramps,” Keigo drawls, “you know I’m better than that. Plus, if they don’t like my attitude, then it’s not really my fault, huh?”

“Nothing ever changes,” Zuko says lowly, his words followed by a deep sigh.

You and Ochaco share a look. It seems like your Prince Charming is nothing more than a sarcastic asshat. How befitting.

“Liven up, birdies,” Keigo says, sliding into the chair directly across from you. “I don’t bite.” He winks at you. “Yet.”

Your entire body jolts at his proclamation. This guy really is shameless, isn’t he? Still, you can’t help but feel undeniably attracted to him. Curse his charisma, dammit.

“Aw, sweet! Is this oyakodon? Hell yeah.”

To the side, Zuko facepalms. Iroh merely chuckles and shakes his head, much like he’s way too used to this kind of behavior and has accepted it as it is. Hell, even Ochako cracks a smile. You, on the other hand, stare at Keigo in confusion. He has a bird-based quirk, doesn’t he? Does it not bother him to not eat chicken…?

Keigo puts up a hand, an amused glint in his eyes. “Look, I already know what you’re gonna ask, kid. I can practically see the gears spinning in that pretty head of yours. I fucking love chicken.”

Oh… Well, that takes care of that, doesn’t it…

After that first fateful encounter, you’ve grown used to Keigo’s ways. It’s funny, though, how he and Zuko’s personalities basically sit on either end of the spectrum, yet Iroh treats the both of them like they’re his children. While Zuko is serious and straight-laced, Keigo is more of a chatty free spirit. That said, you’ve also gotten used to Keigo’s flirty side. You suspect it’s because he likes to get a rise out of everyone. Whether that’s the case or not, your eyes often wander after him, stare down the hard lines of his back. Even better, you itch to trail your lips over the scruff lining his jaw. The guy’s too damn hot and he knows it.

Over the past month, a game of cat and mouse has started between the two of you. Him, trying to act all chummy and overstepping numerous boundaries. You, trying not to give into the weird relationship that’s bloomed between you and him. Sure, you might have flirted back, but what were you supposed to do? After all, Keigo’s proved himself to be a rather cool guy.

“You can’t keep spacing out like that, kid,” Keigo says, snapping you from your thoughts. Glancing down at him, you attempt to suppress your embarrassment, but Keigo’s too smart for that. Despite his relaxed attitude, he’s surprisingly intelligent and quite observant.

Hands tightening around the saddle, you scoff. “I wasn’t spacing out…”

Keigo cocks an eyebrow. “You know, if I wasn’t holding onto the reins, Nugget would’ve bucked you off a long time ago.”

This time, you snicker. You know that he has an undying love for chicken, but every time he refers to his horse as Nugget, you can’t help but laugh. This guy really is like a child.

“Pffft. Laugh all you want, birdie. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s how to ride.” Narrowing his eyes, he flashes you a sultry look. “If you want, I can show you.”

All laughter dies on your tongue. A spark of heat erupts in your stomach, makes your heart thump against your ribcage. He always manages to fluster you, to plant naughty little thoughts into your head. You swallow thickly. “I think… I think I’ll stick with Nugget for now.”

At that, Keigo shrugs, his expression turning into something more nonchalant. “Suit yourself. Seriously, though; you should always keep your focus while riding a horse. Anything can happen, and you’ll only know you’re fucked until you’re being crushed. Better yet, you’re flying overhead and end up snapping your neck. Hate to break it to you, but you don’t have wings to break your fall.”

“Keigo.”

He looks back up at you. “What?”

“Your wings. It’s just that… Well… Why help out on farm?”

Keigo blinks at you, no words slipping out. “Hah? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Shit,” you say quickly, mentally cursing yourself out, “that’s not what I meant. You can fly, can’t you? It just seems like you could’ve made a name for yourself…”

“And become a hero, right?” You wince at his words. He hit the nail right on the head. “Heh. Yeah, I guess you’re right. I could spew a whole bunch of shit from my mouth and call it a day, but that’s not my style. I’m a hero in my own right.”

You furrow your brows. Remaining silent, you wait for him to carry on.

Keigo sighs at your implication. “Not all heroes wear capes or whatever. What about cops? Firefighters? Nurses? People who help put food on your table and help that old man out? Just because I’m not stopping some robbery doesn’t mean I’m not important.”

His words come as a slap to the face. He has a good point; actually, scratch that. He has a fantastic fucking point.

“I’m sorry,” you say after a moment’s silence. “That was selfish of me.”

Keigo waves a dismissive hand. “Don’t beat yourself up, kid. Nugget gets nervous if you get into a bad mood.”

Absentmindedly, your hand drops onto the horse’s neck, giving it a couple of reassuring strokes. “He’s a beautiful horse.”

“Yeah – well, until I bathe him. Getting up close and personal to horse cock isn’t fun. A bit degrading, actually.”

Slapping a hand over your mouth, you try to muffle your sudden laughter. Air streams through the cracks of your fingers.

Instead of his usual smirk, Keigo flashes you a genuine smile. You’ve only seen it once or twice before, but it never fails to make your heart stop. His whole face scrunches, his pearly teeth a startling white compared to his sun-kissed skin. Okay, so maybe you’ve fallen in love with this guy. It’s no big deal; you’re only here for the summer, so there’s no point in chasing after something you can’t have.

“What, did ya find that funny? I’m here all week, folks.”

“You saying you’re a standup comedian now?” you shoot back. “I didn’t know they accepted clowns on farms.”

“Ohoho, so you do got a mouth. Where’s that been all this time, huh? Would’ve made things a lot more fun.” Reaching up, he knocks his cowboy hat further back, revealing more strands of sandy hair and bronzed skin. “Listen here, partner. This town ain’t big enough for the two of us.”

“Oh my god,” you say with a snort. “You’re such a dork.”

Keigo snickers. “You know you love me.”

Heh. Yeah…

If only he knew.

Maybe you should’ve taken his words more into consideration.

Your instincts are more attuned to what could happen in battle, not for words. Besides, Keigo is a sneaky bastard. Most of the things that spew from his mouth are innuendos and pure sarcasm. He doesn’t really come off as a genuine type of person.

It’s whatever. You don’t like to read into things too much, and maybe that’s your fault, maybe it’s not. Who knows?

Even so, your eyes continuously drift over to where he stands. He busies himself with hanging Nugget’s saddle and harness away, his body lax. If one’s thing for sure, he definitely seems a lot more comfortable around animals rather than actual human beings. You can’t blame him, but what about you? Is he comfortable around you?

Clearing your throat, you turn back to the task at hand. Brushing Nugget down, you trail your hand over the coarse hair, the hard muscle. You meant it when you said he’s beautiful. Shiny brown coat, straw colored hair – he seems like the perfect match for Keigo.

“Cowboy Keigo,” you mutter. “Tell me, Nugget,” you begin, “does Keigo treat you right? Feeds you apples and lumps of sugar? A pretty horse like you deserves to be spoiled.” At the mention of his master’s name, Nugget whinnies. “Is that a yes? You’re avoiding the question, man.”

“Are you seriously trying to sweettalk my horse?” Keigo pipes up. Stepping over the stall, he hoists himself up onto the gate and straddles the wood. Wings sweeping behind him, he flashes you a peculiar look. “Didn’t they teach you in school that you shouldn’t seduce a horse? I don’t know about you, kid, but bestiality isn’t smiled upon around here.”

“Then what does that say about you, bird boy?” you quip. “Surely you don’t put yourself in that category?”

“Ooo, degradation. How did you know that was one of my kinks? Were you looking through my search history?”

Rolling your eyes, you set the brush to the side and join him at the gate. Climbing up, you mimic his movements and straddle the wooden beam. “Kinky cowboy, huh? Kind of has a nice ring to it.”

“Oh yeah. I’ve got the bedazzled white boots and everything. I mean, I’m already wearing the assless chaps and everything.”

“You sound more like a stripper rather than a farmhand. What do you think, Nugget?” you ask, turning towards the horse. Nugget merely snorts and shakes his head.

“Hey, hey, don’t agree,” Keigo tells him. “I’ve got to keep my secret life a secret, you damned horse. Help a guy out.”

“I guess your partner would rather throw you under the bus,” you say with a chuckle. “Good horse.”

“Now you’re just trying to hurt my feelings.”

“Cry me a river, bird boy. Or do I have to kiss your booboos?”

At that, Keigo falls quiet. The look in his eyes is unreadable, but the way his body tensed tells you something else entirely. Abruptly, he swings his leg over the gate and hops back down onto the ground. Aw, shit. Did you take it too far? It was only lighthearted flirting and yanking on his leg-

“C’mere,” Keigo says, offering you his hand. His voice is a lot more… soft.

With little to no hesitation, you take hold of his hand and get off the gate. You’re about to ask him what he wants, but then he’s abruptly pulling you to the side, further away from the stable’s open doors. Birds are singing outside, their sweet melody carrying along with the sweet summer breeze. It almost seems like an entire world away. A grunt escapes your lips as you’re shoved against the wall, the smell of straw and musk filling your senses. Keigo steps in close, the heat radiating off his body sending shivers down your spine.

“Listen here, pretty little birdie,” he drawls, his lips pulling back in a smirk, “but I may just have to take you up on that offer.”

Wait, what?

“What the hell, Keigo? Where is this coming from?” you question. It’s not like you’re against him being so damn close, it’s just… unexpected.

“Oh, right, like I’m supposed to pretend that you don’t gawk at me at any chance you get. You’re not very subtle, you know.”

Embarrassment heats up your insides, crawls up your neck. So this bastard is really going to rub it in your face, huh? Seems just like him.

“Then why didn’t you say anything about it before?” you hiss. “If it’s such a problem, don’t stay silent. You’re not the type to let things like that slide.”

“Who said it was problem?”

Keigo: 1 / you: 0

Spluttering, you try to gain control of your whirling emotions. This is not how you were expecting this conversation to go. Actually, you weren’t expecting this conversation at all!

“I know for a fact that you can’t get enough of me,” Keigo continues. “And if I’m being completely honest, I like it. You look so cute when you stare after me, birdie. Then you have the audacity to pretend like nothing happened whenever I catch you.”

“Is that what this is all about?” you huff. “Okay, fine. I admit it. Maybe I watch what you’re doing more than what’s necessary. It’s not my fault you walk around all the time without a shirt on or anything…”

“Normally, I’d say because it’s because I get hot when I’m working, but knowing that you were watching made it all the better.” He winks at you. “Gotta hand out a treat here and there, you know?”

“You really are a clown!” you squeak. Keigo laughs as you weakly shove at his chest. “You’ve been leading me on this entire time? What am I, a joke?”

“Hey now, don’t get ahead of yourself, kid. It’s not my fault you couldn’t come up to me like a civilized adult.”

Okay, now you’re fuming. “Keigo, you fucking idiot-“

Swooping in, Keigo cuts you off with a kiss. Unsurprisingly, his lips are soft; he tastes like citrus and salt, and before you know it, you’re looping your arms around his neck, knocking his hat off in the process. A huff of laughter fans across your lips as Keigo pulls back, his mouth hovering over yours. “Shit, I’ve been wanting to do that ever since your pretty ass sat at the kitchen table for the first time.”

You sigh. “You really do have a bird brain…”

You kiss him, again and again. Perhaps you should be ashamed that you have your tongue shoved down somebody’s throat rather than working, but there’s no way you’re stopping now. Like him, you’ve been waiting for this moment. The two of you have been tiptoeing around each other, rolling the tension back and forth like a goddamn snowball.

But fuck if it doesn’t feel good.

His hands aren’t shy, not in the slightest. Fingertips map out the ridges and dips of your body, seek out the spots that really make you tick. You bite back a giggle as he drops his mouth down your neck, the scruff covering his jawline tickling your skin. Your own hands trail over his body, tracing over the hard lines of muscle that hide beneath his clothes. Time and time again, whenever you’d see him without a shirt, you wanted nothing more than to run your hands all over him. This is your chance, now, and you’d be damned if you didn’t take it.

“Shit, shit, shit, not the wings,” Keigo pants into your neck. The scarlet feathers feel like silk beneath your fingertips; skimming over them, you follow their shape, feel how they get fluffier the closer they are to his shoulders. “Oh, fuck. You know just what you’re doing, huh, birdie? Playing around with me like that. Two can play at that game.”

Another grunt slips from your lips as he pushes you against the wall, harder this time. His hands shamelessly drift underneath your shirt, warm palms sliding over your skin. Your shirt comes off before you know it, being unceremoniously thrown to the ground.

“Fuck, birdie, aren’t a pretty one,” Keigo purrs, his nose bumping against your throat as he sucks another mark into your flesh. “I bet you’re real pretty down here, too…” Making quick work of your jeans, he easily slips them down your legs and you eagerly step out of them. “Don’t mind if I do, kid,” he murmurs into your ear before nipping at the lobe.

A weak moan breaks from your throat as a hand slips into your underwear and cups your sex. His hand is just so warm, and the roughness of his callouses causes your head to spin. Within no time, wet, sinful noises sound from between your legs, mixing with your heavy breaths and Keigo’s encouraging words.

“Yeah, you like that, birdie? My fingers feel good, huh? Wait until you get a feel of my cock.”

Spurred on by his words, you hastily unbutton his shirt, pushing the fabric to the side and running your hands over the swell of his pectorals, the ridges of his abdomen. A faint dusting of blond hairs covers his chest and arms; and, if you look close enough, more sticks out from the waistband of his jeans. Keigo hums as you continue to feel him up, his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek.

“Like what you see? I bet you’ve been wanting to do this for a long time… Fuck! Not going to go easy on me, huh? I like someone who can bite back.”

“Has anybody ever told you that you talk too much?” you breathe. Fingers wrapped around his cock, your movements catch up to his in speed. “You should consider yourself lucky that I like your voice.”

“Oohoohoo, feisty. That mouth of yours is saying a lot of mean things today, isn’t it? Guess I’ll have to put you in your place.” He pauses, swipes his tongue over his bottom lip. “But, if I’m being entirely too honest, I don’t think I have the patience for that.”

“Keigo,” you pant, “I swear to Christ if you don’t fuck me right now-“

“On it, on it. Don’t get your panties in a twist, your majesty.” In hurried movements, he strips you of your underwear and shucks his chaps and jeans down. Large hands grip onto your thighs and then you’re being hoisted up, sandwiched between his rigid body and the wall. “Why, won’t you feel that,” he purrs, “I’d say it’s high noon.”

“Don’t talk about your dick like that, you dork,” you scoff. “Oh, fuck.” Another pleasured noise slips through your lips as you grind down against him, his cock just barely teasing your hole.

“What was that, birdie? You know what they say – sweetie on the farm, a freak in the barn.”

“You’re anything but sweet. Just – Keigo, please?”

“Alright, I get it, enough teasing.” Adjusting his hold on you, he flashes you a tiny smile. “Hold on, partner.”

A choked groan breaks free from your throat as his cock slides in, your velvety walls sucking him in greedily. That damned smirk of his stays on his face the entire time he fucks you, along with that devious glint in his eyes. His façade only cracks after you start stroking his wings and squeeze around his cock; if he wants to act like a cocky son of a bitch, then so can you.

“Shit, you’re fucking tight,” he pants. The smack of skin against skin fills your ears, right alongside Keigo’s breathy moans and muttered words. “Keep squeezing like that, birdie, and you’re gonna make me cum quicker than I want to.”

“You almost sound like that’s exactly what you want me to do,” you breathe. “A cowboy like you has got to have some stamina, right? Don’t tell me all of that work goes to nothing.”

“Jesus, and you called me talkative. Fuck, I can’t wait to shove my cock down your throat and shut you the hell up – I said don’t squeeze like that, holy hell. Dirty little head you got there, huh?”

“Shut the fuck up,” you mumble, yanking him back into a kiss. Keigo only moans loudly as you continue to play with his wings, quickly finding out that the spot where they protrude from his flesh is the most sensitive.

“Milk my cock, birdie,” he mutters between broken kisses. “You’re so fucking good to me, oh yeah. I should’ve done this weeks ago.” A startled squeak bursts from your throat as he abruptly strikes your ass. Sucking air through his teeth, he does it again, relishing in the desperate noises spilling from your mouth. “That’s right, birdie. Come on, make me cum. I’m gonna cum so fucking hard for you, fill you up until your belly’s bloated.”

“Keigo-“ You moan as his hand drops down, fingers furiously rubbing at your sex.

“That’s right, say my name. Let the whole fucking world know who’s fucking you this good.”

“Keigo-“

Smack.

“KEIGO!”

The knot building up inside you snaps; with a cry, you cling even closer to him, your velvety walls spasming around his thick cock as you cum.

Slamming a hand against the wall, Keigo fucks into you harder, faster, the wet noises sounding from between your legs almost deafening. “Oh fuck yeah, oh fuck yeah, oh fuck, fuck, fuck – ah- ah- ugghnn…” Burying his face in your neck, his hips erratically jerk as warmth fills your insides. “Still… cumming… fuccckkk…”

Your eyes flutter as he shallowly thrusts into you, the sinful squelch of his cum leaking out around his cock filling your ears. Slowly, he comes to a stop, his hot breath fanning over your neck and the side of your face. Gingerly, you let him go, completely unaware that your fingernails had dug into him in the first place.

“Well,” he starts, lifting his head and flicking away sweaty strands of hair, “that was eventful, wasn’t it?”

You scoff. “Tell me why I like you again…?”

“Oh, darling,” he drawls, leaning in and pecking the corner of your mouth. “I don’t think you like me. I think you love me. You aren’t very subtle.” He laughs as you smack him on the chest.

“Okay, fine. You’re lucky I love you, bird brain. Don’t go rubbing it in.”

“Silly birdie,” Keigo hums, his face scrunching into that wonderful smile of his. “I may just love you too.”

Wait, seriously?

“And no, I’m not joking or being an ass,” he continues, as if reading your mind. “What’s it called? Love at first sight? I dunno, seems like cheesy bullshit to me, but I… I like the appeal of it. It sounds nice when you’re involved.”

Your heart thumps against your chest.

Oh, fuck.

#mha #my hero academia #bnha boku no hero academia #keigo takami x reader #takami keigo x reader #hawks x reader #keigo takami #takami keigo #hawks #mha hawks #bnha hawks #mha smut #bnha smut #empress writes

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readwithem · 3 years

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Today, i'm combining two different books. And they're not very far from each other. It's Why We eat (too much) by Dr Andrew Jenkinson and Midnight Chicken by Ella Risbridger.

Starting with Why We Eat, you would think it's gonna be judgemental but it's not the case. Dr Jenkinson is a consultant in bariatric surgery, an invasive procedure that cuts the size of the stomach in order to decrease the appetite (by decreasing hunger hormones). But apparently, it's only a short term solution for obesity, because there is a more powerful physiological boss who wins in controlling appetite. The hypothalamus. That's the neuroendocrine gland in your brain. And it has a tight relationship with fat tissue through a messenger called Leptin. All human beings have this hormone that signals to the hypothalamus how much fat (which is a vital source of energy) is stored in the tissues and exerts a negative feedback on it. If there is high level of Leptin (energy fuel tank is full), Hypo keeps you satiated and amps up your metabolism, and vice-versa. So you don't even need to exercise to burn calories. That stands for healthy people. In obese people, there is a huge amount of Leptin but the boss doesn't acknowledge it. It's called Leptin resistance. So to Hypo, there's no Leptin hence feeling ravenous hunger to further fill the tank. That's how hard it is for obese people to stop eating. They don't have a choice. How did they get obese in the first place, you say? Genetics mostly, then environment, then Western food (you'll need to read to know more).

Where does this Leptin-Hypothalamus dysfonction comes from? Two things: High insulin level in the blood by eating high-sugar foods and TNF-alpha, an inflammatory substance made by immune cells as a result of fat tissue cells getting bigger with stored energy, which has effects on vessels (heart disease), articulations (arthritis), cells (cancer) and, you guessed it, the hypothalamus while neutralising the effect of insulin thus creating more of it, which perpetuates fat tissue formation.

So, how can we solve this? First, no dieting. The human body evolution process made sure that it stays alive, so in period of shortage or famine through time, the hypothalamus elevates its equilibrium level (called weight set-point) so that the human being eats more, stores more energy and prevents future energy depletion. Dieting emulates a famine-like state to the brain. You surely lose weight for a few months but you gain more of it when the boss wins over, even more than the pre-diet weight. So, no harsh restriction of food, but minding what kind of food you're eating. For Dr. Jenkinson, the only thing you need to decrease is refined suga, not cholesterol (studies on how cholesterol is dangerous for the heart were biased and funded by sugar companies), to try to get rid of wheat, nuts and vegetal oils because they're rich in Omega-6 which is not the omega we need. Omega-3 is the one we need the most. We can get it from vegetables, meats, eggs and dairy products from grass-fed cows, lambs and chicken, and sea based fish. So it's not about how much you eat, but what kind.

At the end of the book, he gives a few steps to help you regain your normal weight-set point regarding food, exercise, sleep and stress management while also managing your expectations on how quick and drastic your weight loss will be.

It's a well written book. A tad long, but interesting to read.

Andrew insists throughout the book on how important home cooking is. How it's a community driven activity since the discovery of fire. And in order to commit on your weight equilibrium journey, you need to enjoy the process, and cooking yourself is one of those pleasures. For cooking newbies like me, cook books are a must. Not just any books, but the relatable, cut-to-the-chase, no-bullshit, easy-to-follow ones. I discovered one of these and it's a gem.

Ella is a funny one. And this is an unusual cook book that you can read just for leisure time. Being a cooking-for-dummies kind of book is a bonus.

And the thing that makes this book special is how cooking was sort of salvation for Ella going through her bad bouts of depression. Having anxiety, i got how she felt and i understood how helpful this book would be to a lot of lost people. First, she gives a brief list on what utensils and staples you need in your kitchen, with no fuss. Then she gives some recipes relating to times of her life and mental health moments.

I have to admit that not all her recipes were for me, but i enjoyed every little bit of sunshine she threw in them. They're written like essays, not like your usual cookie-cutter books, so it makes them easy and lovely to grasp. A beautiful heartwarming book.

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abalonetea · 4 years

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For the 20 questions WIP Ask Game! :) 1: Summarize your WIP in 10 words or less. 4: Describe the setting of your WIP.18: What's easier, dialogue or description? (tag @daftydrafty)

thank you @daftydrafty !

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1: Summarize your WIP in 10 words or less.

Two men find peace on the country’last thriving farm.

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4: Describe the setting of your WIP.

there’s only one farm left in the country, and it’s owned by a man named Caleb Ray. the rest of the land is too soiled, too polluted to grow anything. the cow shed sits empty, but the green house is full of life and so is the chicken coop, and the wheat might see it’s last harvest soon but for now, it’s still there. it sits in a valley, with mountains on one side and a long winding path that leads down into the over crowded, over stacked city.

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18: What's easier, dialogue or description?

oh, description, for sure! I need to amp up the dialogue in the second draft!

#wip wcu

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prorevenge · 6 years

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Downstairs neighbors wouldn't turn down "music," nuked them from orbit.

Flashback to 2014... or so

I moved out on my own in 2013 and moved into an old house converted into a 2 floor apartment, directly across from my future in-laws.

The downstairs neighbors were loud. BLARING music at all hours (yes, all of the hours), wouldn't cut the grass or take out the trash on our shared schedule. Crappy neighbors, but never bothered me directly. The guy was pretty chill when sober and would turn the music down a little when I texted him. He was okay until his girlfriend moved in. Now add shouting matches to the mix, and all of the sudden my requests to turn down the music makes him turn it up. I can barely walk on my super-thin floor without her banging on the ceiling with a broom.

I was okay since I am heavy sleeper and could sleep through anything. My wife moved in, and I quickly found out that she is quite the opposite. Fan on turned at a certain angle in the doorway of the bathroom, door closed half way, blackout curtains with them taped to the wall so zero light comes through, zero sounds other than the fan, you get the idea.

I told her that we can't expect them to remain silent when she's ready for bed, we need to be reasonable, but the wall rattling music needs to stop during the night. She hated it during the day, but I told her there's nothing we can do then, so she would go to her parent's house a lot during the day.

I talked to neighbor-guy, he said "yeah man that's cool" but it turns out the girlfriend wasn't having it and his attitude then changed to "yeah well it's our house so you can go F yourself if you think you can tell us what to do and you can move out if you don't like it."

Something definitely had to change once she was pregnant, and then the baby came.

So I did the only thing I could do. I fought fire with fire, and maliciously complied with the law to the T. I could only report them for noise after 11:00 PM. I now forget the morning hour when the noise could start, but I believe it was 9:00 AM.

My dad has these huge old concert speakers in his garage. Professional grade, black leather bound, 5 feet tall and 3 feet wide, and a pretty nice, vintage stereo/amp.

He has two, but my apartment was so small I sadly only had room for one. We replaced our coffee table with this thing, laid face down onto our thin, office carpet.

Tired of his crap tunes, I tested this Geneva Convention-breaking device when they weren't home.

Holy cow.

I had to take everything down from tables, counters and shelves because they would shake off. I prepared audio files to feed the stereo. I was giddy like a kid with a new Christmas toy. I turned it on when I left for work and got my wife up to send her to her parents. I came home from work and hung out at her parents until it was close to bed time.

They resisted for 3 days.

On day 2, I found a pile of manure on my doorstep, but it didn't faze me.

I cycled between sine/saw/square waves in clashing chords, marching music (Washington Post March on loop), preaching clips (they weren't just atheist, but outspoken anti-Christian, so it was a must), the most stupid songs you could think of (Captain Planet theme song, Chicken dance, etc).

This poor old house rattled in ways I didn't think possible. The vibrations from the sine wave would make your vision blur.

I eventually got a text from him that read "sorry man you can stop now."

I did not.

He needed a few more days to let it sink in. Plus I had so much fun putting it together. They complained to the police and the landlord. There was nothing they could do since I wasn't doing anything wrong.

I didn't even hear music during the time of peace to follow. It was so quiet.

They would build up their courage and try again every few weeks when I wasn't home, but my wife was. I then showed her how to tame the beast so she could let it loose while I was away.

I had to give them a spanking every now and then, but they learned. They were so happy when we moved out.

(source) (story by greyspot00)

#prorevenge #by greyspot00 #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10

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lukegrim · 2 years

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AI generated WIZARD COUNCIL 2022 BANNED SPELL LIST

1: Lobotomy Aura 2: Lick up for Sleet 3: Horny Toad Boy 4: Scat Mouth 5: Hypnotized Piledriver 6: Angry Ghost 7: Face Grabber 8: Leg Hickey 9: Jug Slapper 10: Body Weight Grope 11: Dangerous Grabber 12: Parasitic Emptiness 13: Lose the Fight 14: Ostrich Boots 15: Lethal Rot 16: Skullbite 17: Tight Tooth 18: Bath Salts 19: Phantom Powder 20: Full Body Grub 21: Superficial Facial Swallow 22: Measuring Device 23: Slime Digger 24: King of Balls 25: Mega Tiny 26: Nine in the Afternoon 27: I Feel U, Man 28: Mr. Canvas 29: Hammered Cake 30: Butterscotch Gobbler 31: Rapid Decay 32: Smurfette 33: Radioactive 34: Mondo Mole 35: Battling Ogre 36: Floating Fish 37: Braindead 38: Demon for Spite 39: Rampaging Mudcrab 40: Slime Dweller 41: Blood Bead Fuse 42: The Metal Skull 43: Hagfish 44: Cod Spawn 45: Bloody Necroflesh 46: Dildo of Doom 47: Wither 48: Shaped Mouth 49: Greasy Orifice 50: Corn Dog Salad 51: Industrial Knife 52: Jack-O-Horn 53: Forearm Block 54: Half-Perch 55: Redeye Bait 56: Satanic Maul 57: Ceramic Bowl 58: Duck Soup 59: Skewer of Doom 60: Porky Testicle 61: Time Feed 62: Dorito Gobbler 63: Pan-Grilled Fat Ass 64: Nibbler 65: Chicken Turd Culver 66: Tight Wing 67: Rick Astley 68: Planter 69: Liquid Dildo 70: Tool Chop 71: Bucket of Emotion 72: Puppy Dentist 73: Horse Cookie 74: Tan Man 75: Rambutan Fruit 76: Mount Rushmore 77: Bat-Horn 78: Pinchy Stick 79: Vexation Quills 80: Chewy Lips 81: Magical Popsicle 82: Steel Water Pipe 83: Suspended Life Support 84: Electro Amp to Body Horror 85: Skull Candy 86: Coffin 87: Cretaceous Carcass 88: Stone Age Hand Grenade 89: Shrimping Spatula 90: Brand New Ring 91: Ouroboros 92: Bones to Spoon 93: Electric Toy 94: Polaroid Lens 95: Poison Cocktail 96: Fibrous Structure 97: Spongelike Stems 98: Diving Arm 99: Clit-Popping Shooter 100: Blood-Curdling Slime 101: Bait and Switch 102: Maggot Blaster 103: Parting Glass 104: Illiterate Bard 105: The Busty Scorpion 106: Blood and Powder 107: Coffin for the Dead 108: The Forgotten Victim 109: Booby Trap 110: Really, Why? 111: Ham Sandwich 112: Beat Me If You Can 113: Lachrymose Vapors 114: Idiot Horn 115: Crocodile Pants 116: Vicious Pelican 117: Cannonball 118: Pit of Darkness 119: Pedophile Snatcher 120: Toxin Trigger 121: Brittle Bile 122: Gorecruncher 123: Familiar Cookie 124: Perky Fly 125: In-ground Vibrator 126: Porky Bra 127: Throbbing Tums 128: Spit on a Knife 129: Ventriloquist Snare 130: Homicidal Tornado 131: Spaghetti with Mushrooms 132: Acid Drainage 133: Cat Box 134: Dying Earth Fruit Basket 135: Fecal Sensory Device 136: The Dearly Departed 137: Snapping Minarets 138: Piggy Little Stink 139: Cow in the Middle 140: No One To Fuck 141: You Bastard 142: Filthy Mind 143: Pee-Pee-Pee 144: Narwhal Cunt 145: Cannibal Dinosaurs 146: Lab Test 147: Squanchy Gills 148: Maggot in My Pocket 149: Come On, Don’t Do That 150: Sulfurous Afterbirth 151: Hacksaw Dispenser 152: Potato Angel 153: Meaty Bandage 154: Gross-Out Bellybutton 155: Jack-O-Lantern 156: Lame Balloon 157: Plastic Booty 158: Meat Packet 159: Lean on Me 160: Jolly Roger 161: Animal Testicle Basket 162: Hammy the Pirate 163: Little Dust Collector 164: Bruised Shell 165: Cleaver 166: Will a Yardstick Do? 167: A Stiff 168: Tic Tac Toe 169: George Harrison Recliner 170: Anxiously Exploding Pusher 171: Gang Tattoos 172: Middle Finger 173: Chewed Cookie 174: Meat Hook 175: Soapy Stick 176: God-bless-you 177: Baking Sink 178: Grin and Bear It 179: Tiny Rubber Penis 180: Skull Out 181: Big Fat Dirt Burster 182: Raunchy Bag 183: Plain Soup 184: Chain-Saw Lifter 185: Blood-Ribbed No-See-Um 186: Girly-Man Vacuum 187: Aristocratic Slicer 188: Granite Stomach 189: Rock Monster Fucking Knife 190: Guy Slippers 191: Playdough Rorschach Test 192: O-zone Punch 193: Micro-Tongs 194: Bald Brushed Axe 195: Blackout Breath 196: Handgun Tongue 197: Butterfly Brain 198: Roast Sweeting 199: Merciful Bomb 200: Butterfly Sting 201: Cockroach Smash 202: Shotgun Twirling Bow 203: Jam-Ass Joint 204: For the Love of Tits 205: Telephone Pole

Shooter 206: Jello Shoot-Out 207: Gumball Mosaic 208: Carton of Eggs 209: Boomerang Bomb 210: Auto-erotic Rooster 211: Big Bucket O’ Bombs 212: The Idea 213: Deflating Balloon 214: Spoonful of Cancer 215: Carpet Bomb 216: Hexing the Pigs 217: Temporary Tattoo 218: Parable of the Grasshopper 219: Smart Guy 220: Minty-Licious 221: Urgent Bread Company 222: Shaver Ram 223: Methuselah Skin 224: Hairbrush Launcher 225: Cold-Blooded Rhino 226: Blackened Catalepsy 227: Wolf’s Delight 228: Flesh Blaster 229: St. Matthew’s Bread 230: Makin’ Friends 231: Crummy Wipe 232: Book-End Hair 233: Tired Whip 234: Nanny Goat 235: Barrage 236: Flipper Fingers 237: Cryptonite Crying Needles 238: 3x Pinstripe Succubus 239: Instant Insanity 240: Fan Fist 241: Child’s Play 242: Military Campfire Scent 243: Lousy Compressor 244: The Trip 245: The Slo-mo Lift 246: Grinding Hand (Big Bastard) 247: Friggin’ Dragnet 248: Chicken Tenderizer 249: Helicopter Business 250: Buttfumble 251: Crossbow Insanity 252: Drummer Lesson 253: Male Bantam Haircut 254: Tequila Shot From Hippie’s Giant Friggin’ Twat 255: Big Misunderstanding 256: Abandoned Sperm 257: Drunk Shoving 258: !!! 259: Triple Scrunchie 260: Collie 261: Twat Pisser 262: Fluteo 263: Red Hot Blooded 264: Outrageous Freeze 265: Pee Switch 266: Spaghetti Incident 267: Atomic Fry Fry 268: Holy Shit! 269: Good Vibration 270: Brain Diver 271: Locker Room Meltdown 272: Floppy Animal Lab Rat 273: Road Kill Rave 274: Love Rollercoaster 275: Crummy Wedding Gift 276: Belly Smasher 277: Spider Job 278: Spill-Boiler Nipple Blaster 279: Fist Bumping 280: Splasher Attack 281: Dead Legged Lobster 282: Weeping Guppie 283: Bloody Gourd 284: (Sorry, n.o.s.) 285: Seal Kisser 286: Saltine Thunder 287: Copper Kettle 288: Tangent 289: Get My Stylist 290: Cannibalism 291: Twitchety Runt 292: Repeated Heartbeat 293: Somber Stitches 294: Cap Rocker 295: File Maker 296: Singing Rorschach Test 297: Space Balls 298: Sock Duster 299: Bean 300: I’m Fine 301: “RUN IT BACK!” 302: Poster Boy 303: The Lurker 304: Rejects to Eat 305: Reject to Feel 306: Rupture Throat 307: Trap Motherfucker 308: Punishment Causality 309: Pedal Tunnel 310: Candy Cutie 311: Skuzzy Yunk 312: Lacrimation 313: Auto-erotic Reenactment of Suicide 314: Reactions to Facial Hair 315: Inside Boobies 316: Doctor Nipple 317: Hangar Ball 318: Bubble Dancer 319: Squeak 320: Elbow Throat 321: Draw String Gun 322: Post-Election Reflection 323: Destructive Earth Warrior 324: Time Bomb 325: Flight Attendant Cockroach 326: Hairy Collar 327: Pterodactyl 328: Dirtbag 329: Scuttle 330: Quivering Erect 331: Johnny Dangle 332: Pilot’s Most Important Function 333: Crank It 334: Bad Romantic Scent 335: Honey Broccoli 336: Noshing on Sausage 337: Top Ramen 338: Fire Bythe Throat 339: Inflatable Poo 340: Armpit Bastard 341: Fill Your Lungs 342: Oopsie 343: Crack Shot 344: Thong Shrug 345: I Guess We Were Shocked 346: Sequel 347: Cardboard Freezer 348: Eat Shit and Die 349: The Other End 350: Small Dumb Dog 351: Immune 352: Vertical Spur 353: Piece of Shit 354: Tranquility 355: Twat Bro 356: Twat Fingers 357: Upside Down Planets 358: Insanity 359: Piggy Back 360: Squirting Farts 361: Texican Waterfight 362: Chicken Biter 363: Tight Hipped Scrunchies 364: Spiky Testicle 365: Bubbles For Swimmers 366: Chainsaw Garden Gnome 367: Hairy Bugs 368: Mullet 369: Shaved 370: Flute 371: Carnival Illness 372: Naked Step Stool 373: Pond Hopper 374: Plastic Mermaid 375: Pandas For Parents 376: Yawning Vampire 377: Rake the Grass 378: Mass Balloon Rub 379: Butt 380: Finger Sign 381: Pizza 382: Balloons 383: Water Gun 384: Bleating Rat 385: Pizza Log 386: Sissy 387: Blood Water 388: Gaping For Terror 389: Aquarium Stereo 390: Googly Eyes 391: Packing Pussy 392: Snake Pervert 393: Sharper Image Personality Test 394: Frog on a Stick 395: Bullet Hole 396: Sweet Tooth 397: Shaggy vs. Velcro Donkey 398: Slippery Hairdo 399: Belching Firetruck 400: Mouth Bath 401: Snake Fart 402: Beer Can Vomit 403: Slicer of Shrimp 404: Game of Pan 405: Noetron 406: Spasm Drill 407: Water Gun 408: Bare Ass

Sponge 409: Roughly The Point of Chopsticks 410: Swallowing a Coffee P

#long post

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iloveenhypenboys · 3 years

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phoenotopia · 7 years

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2017 September Update

Poster Art

Feast your eyes on this beautiful poster art by Pirate. I immediately took a liking to the previous top-left design, and then that idea was molded over the course of a couple weeks to create the design you see today. Debate was had over which characters were important enough to feature in the poster art, and how many. In the end we decided to err on the side of too crowded vs not crowded enough.

You'll also see that the Phoenix logo is featured prominently in the design. Initially, I was really impartial to a Ringed Planet logo, but the Phoenix logo ultimately won out because it most effectively communicates the "Phoenix" in Phoenotopia. This should also help clue people in on the proper pronunciation of the title.

On the Trailer & Fishing

The past couple of weeks a lot of people crunched to make the trailer possible. At the last minute, Will was still adding precious seconds of music to the new theme song just so the montage could be longer. Clement made entirely new animations and Pirate touched an unlistable amount of art assets to bring them up to speed for the trailer.

So where is it? I have decided to delay its public debut, in favor of privately pitching it directly to some companies. You only get so many chances to do an unveiling, so I want to leverage it properly. I apologize for the delay. While we figure that out, here's a video of fishing to tide you guys over. The fishing mini-game was finally implemented this past month. Like with cooking, the desire was there but the design and flow of the game wasn't settled for a long time.

The trailer finally pushed me to implement it. Coming in, there were a few elements locked in place to help guide the design. I knew that fishing should be tied into the player's character - it should get easier the more powerful the player became. I also wanted range - sometimes it's relaxing, and sometimes it's intense. The difficulty depends on the the fish type. Without further ado, here it is:

youtube

Fishing is a game of cat and mouse. Once the fish has bitten on the bait, the player (represented by the arrow), must chase the fish (represented by the smaller circular subsection). The subsection will dart away and try to elude the player. When the player's arrow is outside the subsection, the player's stamina depletes. When the arrow is inside the subsection, the fish's stamina depletes. Whoever runs out of stamina first loses. As the fish get bigger and more difficult to catch, they have more stamina, and their subsection gets smaller and faster, amping up the difficulty.

It's actually still a work in progress. The plan is to update the HUD further - the fish’s stamina bar will match the player’s style of stamina bar so that it’d be easier to see who’s ahead. And of course, there’ll be additional fish types - some of which will drop special collectibles.

Naming Contest Winners

For the robots, I've decided to go with the names "metal ghoul" and "wendigo" for the Zombot and Stalker respectively. Thank you to reddit user "thomar" for thinking of it! Thomar approached the names from how a "pre-industrial society in a post-apocalyptic wasteland of monsters would perceive killer robots." And that's a great approach since Phoenotopia is a meeting point between technology and fantasy/fairytales. And as some other users have pointed out, there is a precedent in the naming since the game contains Orcs, Harpies, and Kobolds. So we'll continue that naming trend with these robots.

And a surprise winner has emerged for the Desert Dragon bandits! Recall their naming contest was suspended a couple months ago until I received a suggestion that I really liked. That has happened this past week via a private email submission. The name will be "Ouroboros". The writer wrote an explanation:

"... The Ouroboros is a symbol depicting a serpent or dragon eating its own tail. The dragon bandits are dedicated to protecting sand drakes so being named after a symbol of a dragon that represents the renewal of life would be appropriate for them. And since phoenotopia seems have the theme of rebirth with the phoenix symbol, I thought it would be cool if there was a reference to the Ouroboros symbol to add towards the theme of rebirth.

And also the Ouroboros lizard also known as the Armadillo girdled lizard is a real life lizard that closely resembles the sand drakes. The Ouroboros lizard have similar spiky armored scales to the sand drakes and can even curl up in a ball and bite their own tail to protect their vulnerable underside."

When I image searched "Ouroboros lizard", I was immediately sold on the name. Phoenotopia's sand drakes do look like Ouroboros lizards, especially since they all roll around as a form of attack, which does look like they're biting their tail.

I'll be reaching out to both winners to get their preferred naming details.

New Naming Contest - the Boar series!

I'll close this update with a new naming contest. We want to name the right-most green creature - the one marked with an arrow.

This green creature is found in the deep forbidden forest alongside Harpies and Orcs - the other creatures of yore. This plant-hybrid creature scavenges much like its distant boar cousin, but can additionally derive nutrient from the sun. It can also use its plant-like appendages to attack in new and creative ways (whipping vines and shooting seeds).

In the first game, the creatures were dogs, so I called them "dog" and "plant dog" respectively. This time around, the in-house placeholder name to beat is "plant boar".

Also up for an optional renaming are the two boars to the left of the "plant boar". The in-house name to beat for them is ... "boar".

Naming animal-like beasts is a bit trickier since there isn't a clearly established rule set. On one hand, the game has animals with made-up names. Chickens are named "Perro" and the cow/sheep are named "Puki". On the other hand, there are also just regular animals without made-up names (birds, dogs, cats, even a camel). Which category will the boars belong?

As usual, submissions are possible on the reddit thread or privately via this email: [email protected]

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