obsessed w the resurrection beasts istfg its so gender, based off of @briarwickart’s design

Y/n looking at Jojos as competitions/rivals (hcs)

Summary: You consider the Jojos a rival, and competition when it gets to grades and all, they never did anything to you but you’re just generally annoyed at them because you think they’re better than you and you’re annoyed that they are better than you, you’re not jealous just annoyed that they exceeded you. (basically enemies to lover for short) Inspiration: Based on real life thoughts with a person honestly lmaO I really think they are a compeition(they don’t know) but in the end it’s just a friendly thing. Disclaimers: Underage smoking (Just because this action is being done here it doesn’t mean you should do it too, for both my adult and teen audiences i rlly don’t recommend this and just because I used it in this fic doesn’t mean you should do it as well) , and  mentions of violence, or implied violence, drugs are also mentioned( i repeat i do not encourage these behaviours in real life) Header: Orange Other writings: Masterlist/Taglist Requests/questions: Ask/Request Box

Jojos as your Rivals

Jonathan Joestar

  ✧ God. To you he was really annoying, teachers praised him and he was a top student in the rankings and a teacher’s pet, you’d never see him complain, cry, or anything at all.

  ✧ Of course he was the class president and a student council so it annoyed you more since he was kind of like a mary sue in your eyes, the fact that he got good grades and doesn’t seem to have a hard time in the things he does really annoy you.

 ✧ You were in the top 3 top students except you’re in 3rd place and you could never beat Jonathan, moreover he’s also an athlete and you were bothered that girls were practically drooling to him. But despite this you’ll never do anything to seek revenge, you won’t embarrass him or frame him because you still have morals.

 ✧ Though you were just grumpy and passive agressive to him sometimes whenever the teacher asks him to help you, you really didn’t like receiving help from him because for you, you think that’s a sign of weakness.

 ✧ Of course you get parterned up with him a big project that was considered as your examination and you hated it. You treated it more of a individual work, but after knowing him a bit from that project you kinda like how he acted, polite, kind and patient.

  ✧ Everytime he sees you struggle and you decline for help he’ll just go behind you or besides you and either guide your hands to fix it or he’ll fix it himself and he’ll just smile afterwards, it was really cute and you’ll mentally slap yourself for liking him, were you forgetting he was rival?

 ✧ He’ll slowly consider you as a friend and he would really really feel guilty for assuming that you were a rude person base on you act towards him but he eventually thinks that you’re a kind person in the inside but a bit stubborn and he finds that cute.

 ✧ If it’s a love story you and him will secretly date and its not obvious to the world that you two are dating, you were never touchy with him in public, you two still acted the same honestly, a bit stubborness coming from you and stubborness from Jonathan because he’s really willing to help you with everything, eitherway you two only have playful fights and a few REAl arguments here an there but you two eventually make up again a few days later.

 ✧ If it’s a platonic relationship you two would be the bestest of friends and you two would have playful arguments and some people would literally ship you two because of your friendship.

 Joseph Joestar

 ✧ This guy was intelligent but lazy and yet he still gets 1st place in the class as a top student with A+ grades, and you found it also annoying that he was naturally talented and effortlessly got them, you sometimes wonder if he cheats.

 ✧ And because you think he cheats you go out of your way to site his essays and public works to see if he uses references or anything, but no this guy is just naturally talented and you felt like he didn’t deserve especially with his laid off attitude.

 ✧ Now you don’t show your passive aggressive side to him because you know better not to make him think that you’re literally angry at him, for you he’s just a competition and another boss level to defeat, it’s not personal just a fun thing you do so you don’t take out your anger out on him.

 ✧ He is also an athlete, of course the Joestar bloodline and legacy literally revolves around the sports they take, so it was no surprise, you on the other hand is also an athlete and you would most likely take the competition seriously whenever there’s a boys vs girls basketball game, you were the MVP let’s just say, sports was like your whole life.

 ✧ Of course there’s an annual event that the high school hosts where as every student will be competing against each other, the remaining 4 players will be the ones set out to compete to another sports festival in a different school. They will choose 4 players per sport.

 ✧ Of course you chose to marathon since you were honestly swift and that was more on your main sport, running. And it was Joseph’s as well and you two had to compete with each other among other students, he’ll say something cocky to you that is enough to motivate you to defeat him.

 ✧ Eventually you and Joseph were one of the 4 people chosen to compete in another school, and though it took awhile for you two to agree on things you two won the tournament with teamwork and ever since then your friend consists of constant and non stop teasing and playful banters.

 ✧ “What do you mean? I clearly made our team win!” he’d say and you’d just roll your eyes at his cockiness. Though you’d retort with something cocky as well.

Jotaro Kujo

 ✧ You honestly don’t know why this guy was even a top student he often gets into fights and the teachers just shrug it off,  you find it annoying he gets to answer everything before you and finish quizzes before you and you get so pissed and can’t understand why is he quick and he doesn’t seem like a type to review.

 ✧ He’s pissed at every fangirl he has and he is pissed at you sometimes as well because you try avoiding him, yeah he’s aware of your competitiveness and he doesn’t really care that much.

 ✧ But you do so you basically you’re like legit pissed at him and you think that he also doesn’t deserve his intelligence since he’s just wasting it away by smoking cigarettes at the back of the school and fighting people it was honestly annoying and you wish you had his intelligence at the same time.

 ✧ Unlike the others maybe in this one you’re being constantly pressured by high grades so you started smoking as well to relieve your stress, you’d somberly sulk at the back of the school as well smoking your problems away it made you feel calm for some reason.   ✧ He sees you there and mumbles a “Tch” while he adjusts his cap and walk near you and light up his cigarette and doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t honestly care what you were doing, anyone was allowed to do anything they want to do so he left you there.  ✧ Honestly he started getting concerned of you when you were often doing it, even he knew that too much is too much. “ That’s enough” he’ll say and take your cigarette pack away, “Touche” you’ll just roll your eyes and walk away. He’d always stop you from smoking, you were getting addicted honestly and it’s not helping since every minute you were getting stressed out.  ✧ When you’re not listening to him he’ll agressively tell you to “cut it off bitch.” or something along those lines, and you didn’t really know he was a person who hid his feelings so you snapped and scolded him that you were a mess because of him  and took out all of your anger and left honestly.  ✧ He couldn’t care less what you said about him and tried to accompany you at the back of the school or in the rooftops everytime it’s break or the end of classes, he didn’t speak that much but he was a good listener and constantly listened to your problems, eventually this is a routine and you treasured every second of it.  ✧ It became a thing that you two basically  sit on the rooftop talking to each other, from then on he’d accompany you outside of school as well and you two would hangout and it would be nice quiet moments when he’s around, he’s also a very protective friendship. Josuke Higashikata  ✧ This guy really doesn’t care about his grades and yet he gets high score it was also annoying that teachers adore him, and that every girl adores him as well. Unfortunately you two were partners for a spelling Bee. Only professors were allowed to choose who participates, and though Josuke might not be accurate with his english pronounciations and spellings he still had high grades and it annoyed you that he got to participate his weak subjects just because he has high grades.  ✧ Honestly he’d hate it as well and would just play games all day long instead of studying or anything, and during the spelling bee he didn’t help at all and you were pissed at him. Even though you were softly and passive agressively scolding him he didn’t get mad back and just said a “Okay okay! I’m sorry.” he’ll apologize and try to study but he’ll get distracted.  ✧ Teachers still continued to praise him and gave no praise to you at all even though you carried your partner to the finish line, that’s why you hated Josuke, he was loved by everyone and you never understood why, was it his personality? Smarts? What was it?   ✧ From that then you’ll break into his house with no permission and catch him playing video games. You’ll scold him to study the words and act like a strict teacher towards him, he dozed off a lot and was laid back and distracted, yet he was still able to answer some of them.  ✧ This is why you didn’t like him he was too laid back and didn’t seem to take things seriously, because of this you suggested a break and he went back t o playing his video games and getting frustrated, and even though you were tight while teaching him he was kind enough to still offer you to play with him. You were going to decline but you still accepted it.  ✧ This is where you saw his true personality, he talked about a lot of things and you two ended up having fun as you two play, you didn’t mind this moment and you’d want it to treasure it forever honestly. You brought up your personality as well to him, you started showing your true colors and he really liked the fact that you weren’t an overbearing person at all.  ✧ ever since then you two manage to win the competitions and manage to play at the same time. You two became the bestest friends which was unexpected since you considered him as a rival, though you’re still annoyed because everytime you ask him to teach you he’ll teach really badly and you wouldn’t understand anything from him. Giorno Giovanna   ✧ This guy was a quiet yet smart type, he often sits at the back of the class dazing off the window and yet still able to answer questions of the teacher even when not paying attention.   ✧ Though you compete with him you know not to mess with him honestly, though a lot of really negative rumours constantly spread about him. Like his family problem and things like that so you pity him at some times.  ✧ Girls adore him, something about the Joestars getting fangirls annoys you a lot. They baby him, and even though sometimes he gets annoyed and straightforwadly tells them to go away sometimes he’d entertain them and be kind. Teachers always saw him as a role model student it makes you barf.  ✧He’ll also probably hangout with his school gang, nobody knows what this gang does honestly, the teachers just leave him be just because they want to just leave him be and they’re too naive; thinking that it’s just a normal innocent gang where it’s a group of kids hanging out.  ✧ You caught up his ‘gang’ beating up someone and since you were a witness he saw you as a immediate threat(or so you though) and this quiet kid did a whole 180 with his personality and looked at you menacingly.  ✧ You don’t know how to approach him that you won’t tell anyone you’ve witnessed and always ran away everytime he approaches you or everytime his gang approaches you. Now your rivalary and competiting against grades is now ruined because this guy could always beat you anyday when it gets to physical fights, or so you thought.  ✧ You always ate lunch at the rooftop so he kind of took this opportunity to calmly sit besides you and talk to you about what you saw, he just wanted to give you context so that you wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Apparently that guy was an adult selling drugs to a bunch of graduating elementary kids.  ✧ You were relieved he wasn’t gonna beat you up and put you in the sewers, you took this time to also talk to him to actually see he was a nice guy, a gentle man and that you thought he was a cocky student because you always assumed him like that, not only that but you assumed him being a playboy as well since he gets so much attention.  ✧ You confess all of this to him and he let’s out a quick chuckle and you just laugh as you confess all of your thoughts and competitiveness against him, he was a good listenered actually, and didn’t take it really personally, he knew deep inside that you were a good person even though before you used to give him a scary glare when you two didn’t talk yet.  ✧ From that day on you start catching up to him in the hallways and talk and all his fangirls would practically hate you and give you glares as you two are having a good time.  ✧ He’ll make sure you’re out of his school gang businesses and arguments with other gangs, he may not say or sometimes express it but he always cares for you and tries to be supportive in littliest ways such as listening and remembering to every detail you tell him.  ✧ you’d still playfully compete with him and if he wins you’re okay with it unlike before

Thanks for reading! Reqs are open! My only requirements is no nsfw and probbably not part 5 yet since im not there hihi.(P.s I do canon x oc :) ) Sorry for not uploading for awhile

okay im a Romione shipper but I always had this question..you know how harry + hermione are like brother and sister, why is it that although Ron and Hermione met and grew up with each-other during the same time, they developed feelings, why did this never happen for Harry or Hermione?

Ouuu you got yourself an analysis. I did feel lazy to write...but I’m going into essay mode now. Literally I can make a video on this lol. 

Okay so obviously for there to be mutual attraction- both parties have to like each-other. So I will explain why they both don’t like each-other like that individually. 

Let’s start with Mr. Harry Potter. 

Now we know he doesn’t think she’s ugly. But if you read the books, even in Hermione’s Yule Ball scene, he never has a physical reaction to her. When he described her looking pretty it was just that, ‘she looked pretty.’ With Cho and Ginny however, we see that he describes their looks alongside a physical reaction he has to them, when he see’s cho there’s a ‘jolt in his stomach’ and later Ginny, ‘a raging monster in his chest,’ he never experiences this with Hermione. So although he doesn't think she’s unattractive, he himself, is personally not physically attracted to her in a way that renders a reaction. 

Next, remember that Ron and Hermione are Harry’s FIRST friends. He did not grow up with a sister, and the only relative his age is Dudley, who bullies and abuses Harry. He’s mentioned as having no friends in school, and he’s been isolated his whole life. It makes sense that he would develop a family like connection with the first people in his life to show him affection. Look at how attached he got to Hagrid, because Hagrid was the first adult figure in his life who helped him. After Ron and Hermione, he has two friends, it makes sense that he would not be as attached to the next people he meets from then on. 

Hermione’s personality is not one that Harry is attracted to romantically. As a friend, yes. But romantically, she is quite the opposite. The reason he loses attraction for Cho is because she becomes emotional after Cedric’s death. Harry hates this. Harry does not deal with emotion well at all. And this is a result of developing humour as a defence mechanism for abuse and trauma. Harry wants someone he can joke with, someone he can escape his trauma with. He simply is uncomfortable around highly emotional people. Hermione is a highly emotional person, she cries a lot, and is very passionate about things. Harry wants a ‘chill’ girl a ‘go with the flow’ girl and Hermione is anything but. He does not want to play the comforter,  he is so uncomfortable around emotions that people have speculated that was due to he Voldemort inside him. However, I think it’s because after years of trauma, abuse, being an orphan, losing so many loved ones, he turned off his emotions, rather than deal with the tragic reality that was his life. If he wasn’t able to do this, he would not have been able to defeat Voldemort in the first place. Ginny is perfect with Harry here, because she grew up with six brothers, she is essentially the ‘chill’ girl Harry is looking for. 

Hermione questions him. One of Harry’s flaws, that also kind of makes him a hero in the process, is that he is confident in his plans and abilities. He does not like being questioned. Hermione does not blindly listen to Harry, she questions him and does it often. Much to Harry’s annoyance. In OOTP when she questions him, and says he has a saving people thing, he gets so angry with the fact that she could even think he’s wrong, and does not consider for a second that he just might be. Hermione’s always the first to nag Harry about what he does, and Harry despises this. Example, when Hermione lectures Harry about the Prince’s book because of what Harry did to Malfoy. 

“I won’t say ‘I told you so,’ ” said Hermione, an hour later in the common room. “Leave it, Hermione,” said Ron angrily.

Harry had never made it to dinner; he had no appetite at all. He had just finished telling Ron, Hermione, and Ginny what had happened, not that there seemed to have been much need (…)

“I told you there was something wrong with that Prince person,” Hermione said, evidently unable to stop herself. “And I was right, wasn’t I?” “No, I don’t think you were,” said Harry stubbornly. He was having a bad enough time without Hermione lecturing him; the looks on the Gryffindor team’s faces when he had told them he would not be able to play on Saturday had been the worst punishment of all.

Give it a rest, Hermione!” said Ginny, and Harry was so amazed, so grateful, he looked up. “By the sound of it, Malfoy was trying to use an Unforgivable Curse, you should be glad Harry had something good up his sleeve!”

“Well, of course I’m glad Harry wasn’t cursed!” said Hermione, clearly stung. “But you can’t call that Sectumsempra spell good, Ginny, look where it’s landed him! And I’d have thought, seeing what this has done to your chances in the match —”

“Oh, don’t start acting as though you understand Quidditch,” snapped Ginny, “you’ll only embarrass yourself.

See the difference between the two? Even Ron gets Harry...Hermione just doesn't have that stop button. She doesn't really care about how a person feels, if they’re wrong, well, they’re wrong. She doesn’t just do this with Harry. But for someone like Harry, who already thinks the world is against him, this is a big deal. He needs someone like Ginny who will defend him, not someone like Hermione who will question him. 

She’s not fun enough for Harry. Harry likes adventure, Harry likes humour, but Harry can’t do it alone. He vibes off of the people he’s around. It makes sense, Harry deep down, is a very sad person. When he’s left with someone who isn’t lightening the mood, he can easily be dulled out. As we see in GOF,

"You miss him!" Hermione said impatiently. "And I know he misses you -"

"Miss him?" said Harry. "I don't miss him. . .

But this was a downright lie. Harry liked Hermione very much, but she just wasn't the same as Ron. There was much less laughter and a lot more hanging around in the library when Hermione was your best friend.

Ron and Harry are different in that Ron does not have the trauma Harry has. Ron doesn’t NEED to be filled with positive people all the time. He can simply BE the positive person. Hermione’s lack of humour in situations or seriousness, doesn’t impact Ron, because, well he can deal with it. He can make jokes on his own, just like Ginny can. Harry and Hermione are incapable of doing this, especially later on in the books. They need to be surrounded by people that bring out this side in them. Ron can stay silent for two hours with Hermione in the library and not think about Voldemort, Harry can’t, he needs a distraction, he needs people that are the  ‘lives of the party.’

Hermione is too passionate about things for Harry. Harry- I have it worse Potter, cannot be bothered to debate about things like SPEW or care enough about Hermione’s school schedule. He simply has bigger things going on. He needs someone that understands this, that doesn’t add extra burden or stress into his already stressful life. 

Now for Hermione,

Hermione is naturally a perfectionist and a worrier. This is not because she enjoys worrying, she simply cannot help it. Having someone like Harry, is a worrisome thing, she is CONSTANTLY worried about him. This is not something you would want on your significant other, with Ron, she’s more at ease, yes he has his problems, but, they’re simply not as excessive as Harry’s. She can avoid worrying as much when it comes to Ron, and simply enjoy her moments with him, this is something that brings her peace. 

Hermione needs someone who values her opinions. Ron is that person. They are always fighting because Ron is actually listening to what Hermione has o say, he actually pays attention to her passions and interests. He doesn’t agree with them all the time, where as Harry I have worse potter, zones her out. In third year, Ron is wondering where she is all the time, he is confused about her schedule, Harry doesn’t care, the man who betrayed his parents escaped Azkaban, whats a few more extra classes? Hermione, as passionate as she is, needs that, she needs someone who cares about what she does and why she does them. 

Hermione needs someone who isn’t high-stress. Harry may not be high-stress with school, but he is high-stress in general. Hermione is the queen of being high-stress, she needs someone to reduce that anxiety, not elevate it. And Ron is just that person. 

Hermione needs someone who can take her criticism. When she tells Harry he’s wrong or has the wrong idea, Harry is furious with her. Where as although Ron gets mad, he takes it better than Harry, or he challenges her in a way that tells her to explain why she thinks that instead of just being upset with her thinking it in the first place. Harry is simply more prideful than Ron, which is perfectly okay. Ron is able to put things aside, but Harry dwells. Hermione has easily been way more critical to Ron, but he gets over it. Ron having 5 older brothers who tease him, is more lenient towards critical remarks from Hermione. Harry is not. And Hermione simply cannot contain these remarks, she just can’t. Harry will not say anything and simply be like ‘Hermione is the worst’ Ron will be like ‘why are you saying that?’ Example with Scabbers, Hermione refuses to apologize, Ron TELLS her he just wants an apology. With Harry, he wouldn’t ask, he would just expect one. Ron is also able to get over it without an apology. 

Ron is more emotional/ deals with emotions better. Hermione needs someone who can understand her emotions, because well, she’s an emotional person. Harry shuts out emotion, Ron, who has lived in a loving family, filled with hugs and Christmas and kisses, is used to showing emotion. He can handle her tears, he won’t run away at her crying. Every-time Hermione cries in the book Harry describes himself as being uncomfortable, where as Ron is either comforting her or approaching her in a way that shows the readers he isn’t scared of this. Hermione needs that in a significant other. 

There are a bit more points to make as well, but I think that covers the jist- otherwise I can go on for hours. Because it is really amazing to me in just how obvious Ron and Hermione’s relationship differ from Harry and Hermione’s and just why that is

Honey Honey! | Oliver Wood x Slytherin!Fem!Reader.

PAIRING: oliver wood x slytherin!fem!reader.

SUMMARY: (Y/N)’s friend takes his plan one step further, determined to get the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain and the overthinker slytherin together. 

WORD COUNT: 2,032.

PREVIOUS PART: Lay all your love on me.

NEXT PART: When I kissed the teacher. 

REQUEST: literally one person asked for a part two and I had to do it. I have in mind another part, and possibly last one, so if anyone is interested let me know!

WARNINGS: I don’t think so.

A/N: Please remember English is not my first language, so there might be some mistakes, you can always correct me and I’ll fix it. And yes, the title is another ABBA song because why not? 

I still can’t believe the first part got like 150 notes. Thank you so much! 

Masterlist.

Gif below it’s not mind, credits to the person who made it.

Three days after the party in the Ravenclaw Common Room, that same one in which she almost killed one of her best friends, the unexpected happened.

His mouth lifted in a grin, white teeth showing, eyes sparkling with excitement and, at the same time, craziness; Dorian, the one who barely escaped his early death, sat beside them, leaning his body on the big root of a tree near the Black Lake, orange and brown leafs beneath him. The other tree exchanged glances. 

The afternoon was about to take an interesting turn. It’s not like he was never happy, but this particular kind of happiness came with blaring red lights, screaming and alerting everyone close enough.

Silently agreeing to ignore the boy’s strange, but not new, behaviour, (Y/N), Isla and Ethan kept working on their assignments. Before any of them could write something on the pieces of parchment, Dorian fakely cleared his throat. None of them looked at him, suppressed smiles on their faces.

(Y/N) had finished writing a sentence for her Charms essay when he tried to catch his friend’s attention again. But now using a different strategy. After the third long sigh that left his mouth, Isla, with lips pressed in a thin line, finally turned her head in his direction.

“Yes, Dorian?,” she said. Her harsh tone rivaling Professor McGonagall’s. 

In an impossible way, his grin grew larger, resembling the Cheshire Cat from the classic Alice in Wonderland. Dorian fixed his position, making himself more comfortable against the root, legs stretching (a few inches away from Ethan’s ink bottle), eyes closed and fingers gently hitting each other, taking that typical stance of someone who’s planning something. 

“What is it?,” asked Ethan impatiently.

“I come here bearing good news, no, excellent news and you treat me like this?” Always the exaggerated, Dorian feigned a hurt expression, right hand going to his chest and grabbing the part where his heart was placed.

Having enough of his games, (Y/N), who wanted nothing more to finish her paper and take a nap before dinner, decided to step into the conversation. “What excellent news?”

Dorian dropped the wounded act and smiled at her, glaring at the others as if he was saying ‘this is what good friends are supposed to be like’. He changed his posture once more —he really couldn’t stay still—, now sitting closer to them with his legs crossed, hands playing with one of the chocolate sweets Ethan had been trying to transform. The corner of his mouth never lowered. 

“Nice to hear you’re interested, my dearest (Y/N), because this concerns you directly.” She regretted ever asking him the minute that answer rolled from his mouth and his dark brown, almost black, eyes shined with mischief. Ethan’s and Isla’s confusion showed through their faces. “I just, like just, saw you know who and he,” Dorian stopped talking when he saw his friend’s disturbed expression. Rolling his eyes —how could they be that dumb?—, he explained. “Not that You-Know-Who, the other one… Ugh, I’m talking about Oliver Wood.” 

Their mouths took the shape of an O, realisation finally coming to them.

“He asked me what day you would be free to tutor him, so now, thanks to me, you have a date with Oliver this Saturday morning.”

(Y/N) and the other two stared at him. While Isla and Ethan broke into a fit of thrilled laughs and big smiles, high-fiving Dorian for his “work”, she was trying to control her anger and the words —the majority of them being insults— ready to leave her throat.  

Why was he so keen on her and Oliver being together? Why couldn’t they understand that she was not the kind of person who would act on her feelings? 

Yes, she had made it obvious that she liked the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, but that didn’t mean she wanted to do something about it. She had always been awkward and, of course, situations with strangers (did she consider him one?) tended to go that way. The girl knew that if something, anything, went wrong with him she would overthink nonstop.  

Saying nothing, (Y/N) quickly grabbed her things —a dark blue bag with white dots forming the constellations, the parchment on top of it and the quill on her hand—, stood up and left with a quick step carrying her body, ignoring her friends screaming her name to come back from near the Black Lake’s shore. 

Entering the castle, bustling with cheerful students making their way outside to enjoy the warm and sunny afternoon, she decided this was the perfect moment to take that much needed nap, even if she hadn’t finished her assignment yet. 

The Slytherin was walking down one of the corridors, this one less transitaded, when she saw the particular crimson fabric of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team’s robes. She lowered her head, hoping it was one of the Chasers or any other member that wasn’t him.

Noticing the person wearing the uniform passed right beside her and didn’t say anything, she sighed in relief.

“(Y/N)?” said a disembodied and sweet voice from behind her. Even if she couldn’t actually see the person calling her name, she knew perfectly who it belonged to. 

Bloody hell.

Before turning around to face him, she closed her eyes, preparing herself. She’d never mind his presence, or him calling for her —hell, (Y/N) dreamed of that happening every now and then—, but now was definitely the wrong time for this. She was angry with Dorian for trying to set her up, exhausted from not being able to get used to the routine again and annoyed because of the amount of homework. 

Finding his black shoes extremely interesting and intriguing, she murmured a small response.

“Fancy to see you here, I’ve been trying to talk to you since the party but I didn’t want to bother you in class, you always look so focused on the lessons, and with Quidditch practices I couldn’t find you in your free time,” Oliver continued. He had been trying to reach her? Her? “I found Dorian instead and he said you were free to tutor me on Saturday morning. If you can’t or don’t want to or whatever, you don’t have to. I know I should have talked to you first, but I didn’t see you anywhere and I was getting desperate because I can’t lose this opportunity and… and I’m rambling a lot, sorry.” He stopped tapping his thumb against his broomstick’s handle.

All at once, the feeling, more like an intuition, that he could be nervous around her engulfed (Y/N), spreading a warm sensation through her body. 

She wanted to say no, even when this was the chance she’d wanted for too long but (Y/N) knew herself. The endless overthinking that she’ll have to endure before, during and after their “study date” —what if she was a horrible tutor?; what if he didn’t understand anything she’d said?; what if she wasn’t good enough?; what if he never wanted to speak to her again after it?; what if he failed and blamed it on her?; what if all this was a big and cruel joke?, would he do that to her, to anyone?—.

She really did want to say no, but how could she when he looked like that? Upper lip biting nervously on the bottom one, his cheeks of a rosy colour, constantly shifting his body’s weight, fingers fidgeting. 

“I, um, of course, no problem,” she assured. 

Why did she have to be such a people pleaser? 

And why did she have to like him so much that when he smiled, relieved because of the answer, her heart stopped for a second and her stomach turned upside down?

|||

(Y/N) was sure Oliver had never wanted to revise Transformation so early on a Saturday, especially when his team was just a few hours away from playing their first Quidditch match of the season. She wasn’t so thrilled either, weekends were the only days she had to sleep till lunch, her roommates knowing that waking her up before one in the afternoon would lead to a pissed (Y/N) and no one liked that version of herself.

“Look, we can reschedule if you want,” she said after watching him fail once more at conjuring birds from the tip of his wand, “you are worried about the match and that’s making it impossible for you to focus on this.”

The Gryffindor glanced at her through his eyelashes, a frustrated look in his eyes —(Y/N) couldn’t figure out if it was because he was losing his time here with her while he could be training with his team one last time or because the only thing coming out of his wand were yellow feathers—. 

Running both hands across his face, he replied, “I-I don’t want you to waste your time, but I suck at Transfiguration and we haven’t even started with Potions, which is worse, and you make it seem so easy because you’re amazing at this. But I’m not and Professor MgGonagall said that if…”.

For someone who had a brave and confident exterior, Oliver Wood did ramble quite a lot.

“I know what MgGonagall said,” (Y/N) interrupted, choosing to ignore the part where he complimented her, “and you are not wasting my time, Oliver. I agreed to help you, remember?” He nodded his head slowly, watching his hands. (Y/N) thought he looked like a kid getting reprimanded. “Now, try one more time.”

And one more time he failed, yellow canary feathers falling down to the floor,  joining Oliver’s past attempts at mastering the Bird-Conjuring Charm. 

She saw him scratch his forehead with his eyes closed and lips barely visible because of the way he was biting on them. 

“You’re not doing the correct hand movement, I think that’s why it isn’t working,” (Y/N) noticed, “look, give me your hand.” She grabbed his right hand, the one holding his wand, delicately, fingers barely touching the skin. Taking his wrist and positioning herself on Oliver’s side, she showed him how to do accurate motion. “And you just say Avis.”

The next time he did the incantation, a loud blast, pretty much like the sound of a gun being fired, resonated throughout the place. Once the smoke dissipated, several yellow birds flew from the tip of his wand to the empty classroom they were practising in. Twittering and chirping filled the room, but as quickly as they did, they became background noise when Oliver let out a loud laugh at his achievement. 

He turned around, a big grin on his face and brightness in his eyes, now a completely different person. She smiled at him, his excitement starting to feel contagious.

“See, you don’t have to be so hard on yourself,” (Y/N) murmured. If only she’d take her own advice. “I think you’re good to go and-and do whatever you do before a Quidditch match.”

“Thank you, for agreeing to this.”

She shook her head, the corners of her mouth slightly going up. “No problem.”

Oliver walked towards the door and before he opened it, the boy asked, “will I see you at the match?”

“Maybe.”

“Nice, it’ll be good to see you there,” he’d smiled at her one last time and left the unused classroom. 

Biting down the nail on her thumb, (Y/N) let out a silly giggle, one of those that only escape people’s mouth when they are drunk or can’t get that one person out of their minds. Perhaps she was reading into this situation the wrong way, but for just a tiny moment she didn’t care. She enjoyed the warm feeling on her stomach, as if a ton of thestrals had suddenly decided to fly across it, and the erratic pace of her heart every time Oliver would glance at her or say anything remotely kind. 

Then the realisation came and with it, tangled like some kind of broken and dark creature, her severely damaged pride. She had to admit to Dorian’s face that he was, in fact, correct and that his ridiculous plan may actually work.

TAGS: @peeves-a-legend​ (amazing person and writer, read all of her work!).

Shdjdjjddjjs okay but, more buff cat hcs when ?? But seriously, i know it probably counts as crack hc but i enjoyed it way to much i cant get it out of my head anymore, i havent laught so much in a while now sjdjchdj. I sure hope the buff cat saga will continue !!

You know what? I’ll give you some buff cat content now. 😤 my school work can wait. And trust me, the buff cat saga WILL continue. I just tend to work on requests first rather than my own wants haha.

I’m really happy you like buff cat! Buff cat is my life now. Constantly haunted by buff cat. Maybe one day I’ll introduce a girlfriend or friends for buff cat too 🤔

Maybe I’ll do a background about buff cat and how they met MC?? And why buff cat is so attached to MC? I don’t know. 👉👈 maybe if someone requests, otherwise I’ll just do whatever I feel like in the moment.

Anyone can also feel free to request any buff cat scenarios!! If not I’ll think of some up. THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY. I WROTE THIS LIKE 1 HOUR OR SOMETHING STRAIGHT AHA.

The boys react to buff cat teaching you

Lucifer

Lucifer had noticed your grades were improving recently, and wanted to take you out to eat for working so hard to both keep up with your class.

When he came to your room, he saw a scene that honestly shouldn’t of surprised him, but did anyways.

You were sitting at your desk, books sprawled across the entire surface area of it. On top of a book pile was buff cat, wearing a pair of glasses, and he was using a pointer to show you important parts you should remember.

He watched in awe as you two never exchanged any words, but you were scribbling down definitions and important notes, while buff cat turned the pages and reviewed your work.

He’s gotten fairly use to buff cat cooking, cleaning, intimidating others, but he has never seen buff cat act like a teacher before, it was sort of new, and he even had a teacher outfit.

He swears that he never sees you buying these outfits, or that people in the devildom actually sell muscular cat clothing.

Buff Cat is the first to break the silence, looking over at Lucifer and positioning his pointer at Lucifer’s head, and then to in front of your desk.

You were still focused on your studying, knowing that you were steadily improving. Buff Cat got out a notepad from one of your desk drawers, and wrote “Leave what you require on this note, I am instructing MC right now, and when we are done tutoring I will give this note to them.”

Lucifer ended up having to take a rain check on taking you out to eat, and learned that your cat has really advanced vocabulary.

Mammon

He was failing the majority of his classes, and ended up asking you for help. You were his best shot, and you seemed to be passing all of your classes with flying colours.

You said you were happy to help him! Except that someone else was actually helping you study. They were a very efficient teacher.

He was relieved to hear that you’d introduce your teacher to him, until he found out it was that fucking demon spawn from hell.

He screeched so hard and ran out of the room, crying like a girl. “aAAAAaaaaAAAH”

Mammon is terrified of buff cat, and now you’re telling him this cat has the intelligence of a genius? You came to the devildom like a few months ago how is this cat tutoring you and making you pass your classes with ease??

He swears your cat is trying to plot for world domination or something. Will NEVER ask you to study with him again.

Leviathan

You walked into Levi’s room trying to find buff cat. It was a Sunday, which was typically a boys night out between them, but it was getting pretty late and you need to study.

There was a test tomorrow on devildom history, and you wanted to review one more time with buff cat, as to make sure you’ll do well on it.

“Mr. Kitty, are you here?” You called out, as soon as you said that Buff Cat paused the game and ran up to you. Levi was slightly annoyed as Buff Cat was beating a hard level for him, but he is your cat above all else.

You smiled as Buff Cat greeted you, and apologised for interrupting them. You explained to Levi how you wanted to review for the test, and if it wasn’t an issue could he spare around 20 minutes?

Levi huffed and agreed and called you a normie, and was about to pick up his switch when your words finally set in.

You put down the book you were carrying and got out a pencil, and took a piece of paper out of the book. You began writing down all of the important stuff on the paper while Buff Cat watched over your shoulder.

When you were finished, he went into the book with you and showed you a couple things you’ve missed or had forgotten, and then got you to write it down three times each as to remember. He even wrote a few essay questions for you which you got.

Levi was impressed. Not only did Buff Cat seem to know the whole devildom history by heart, he knew the exact pages and lines, and even how to write.

He didn’t really care as long as Buff Cat beats the hard level for him. He just considers it to be cool.

Satan

Satan was impressed with your high grades. It must be hard for a human to suddenly learn about a whole new realm, right? So if you had Cs he would understand, but you were getting 97s and 94s.

He understood everything when he started to notice what kind of books Buff Cat had been reading in his room, recently.

You all were having a test on curses soon, and Buff Cat came by his room and began looking for books about curses, and similar ones to what you all had been learning about.

Satan ended up chuckling to himself and found it amusing. It was amazing how your cat even spent his free time coming to someone’s room, finding books for your tests, and reads them before going back to you to help you understand the content.

He likes to get coffee with Buff Cat and talk about the stuff you’re learning in classes, he never directly said it to you, but he helps Buff Cat find specific books when Buff Cat comes over.

Asmodeous

Lucifer decided to punish the house of lamentations by taking away all of their electronics after they did something stupid again. The only way to earn it back, was through getting an 80% or higher on their next test.

You and Asmo suffered because you would normally look up answer during your test, and Asmo had no social media or contact with any of his friends with benefits.

You two weren’t ashamed to beg Buff Cat for help to pass your next test. He was probably the smartest in the house. He goes to Satan’s room almost every day and purchased books when he goes out. Your cat even tutored you when you were in elementary school.

You and Asmo barely needed to convince Buff Cat, as he was ecstatic to help you again. He’d do anything to help you, and was even willing to help Asmo out as well.

Asmo thought that Buff Cat looked REALLY adorable in his teacher’s outfit. A suit, tie, glasses, and his claws were so shiny from their manicure earlier.

Buff cat even slicked his fur back to look like he gel’d his hair. He was a literal fashion icon. Asmo could do some sewing, but nothing to the degree Buff Cat did.

Buff Cat had so many outfits he made himself, and he even did them so quickly. They all turned out perfect. Oh right, this was about studying wasn’t it?

Asmo never really asked questions about why your cat could just be so smart, and more so focused on how cool your cat looked. Priorities.

Beelzebub

Beel and Buff Cat are gym buddies, so naturally they’d walk home together from the gym. Everything was fine until Buff Cat’s MC senses were tingling, and began to walk towards you, crouching down in a store trying to figure out which notebooks to buy.

Beel thought it was pretty cool Buff Cat knew where you were, like how he and Belphie were that close to each other.

Brel asked you what you were doing, and you explained that you wanted to get some new notebooks because your old one is messy and confusing. You just scribbled whatever you could down, and were having a bit of a hard time in class.

Buff Cat immediately perked up, and you two seemed to have a conversation. He meowed and you happily said “I’d love that!”

Apparently, Buff Cat had offered to tutor you. Beel wasn’t so sure how well your cat could teach, though, considering he still is a cat, and offered to help you as well, since he wouldn’t like to see you sad from overworking yourself.

He was scribbling notes alongside with you five minutes into your first session together. Buff Cat wrote such simple explanations, and even prepared notecards ahead of time, Beel forgot he was supposed to teach you.

He is pretty fine with Buff Cat teaching you both, and once again forgets that Buff Cat is a “normal”? cat and not some weird creature that knows the answer to life.

Belphegor

Is really fucking terrified of your buff cat. Like TERRIFIED. So when he sees your cat in a teacher’s outfit sitting at the dinning room table, teaching you math, he was frozen.

He came down to get a glass of milk but what is this. Do you- do you have to do it in the living room?

There is no other reaction than physical fear coursing through his body his adrenaline is at the highest and his fight or flight instincts kick in.

He’s already fought once and that caused Buff Cat to exist in constant Buff form around him, so you can bet he is running.

Probably has a group chat with Mammon and Luke. “Buff Cat Conspiracy”. They talk about how scary buff cat is.

Diavolo

Buff Cat told Diavolo he was the one who helped you study. They were having conversation (buff cat used a notebook) and the topic of your studies came up. He mentioned how he had been helping you study, and understand the terminology in the Devildom better.

He was happy to hear that you understood it, and that it wasn’t too complicated for either of you too.

He actually asks if he can watch your study sessions, to see if he needs to lighten your workload just in case you’re pushing yourself too much.

You two allow him to watch, and he’s giving soft claps and smiles as the two of you give it your best.

Is honestly very happy with how much you two get along, and how you say it’s very simple since Buff Cat explains(meows) it in a very efficient manner.

He already knew Buff Cat was smart, but haha. Maybe he should hire Buff Cat to be a teacher or support class teacher for RAD?

Barbatos

You had grown accustomed to the devildom these past few months, and with Buff Cat with you, you were allowed to freely explore it when you want.

Buff Cat also happens to have a spare key to open the castle when he wishes.

Exam/testing season was coming up, and you knew you couldn’t study at the house of lamentation.

It was very distracting, and so you decided to go to the castle. No one will be screaming there, or trying to convince you your cat is a weird entity trying to plot world domination.

Barbatos was sort of used to seeing Buff Cat come and go as he pleases, but why were you here? Before he could say anything, you told him that you were visiting to study! And that you hope he didn’t mind that Buff Cat was going to tutor you.

Alright, so you’re studying, but why at the castle? You had to explain that it was very distracting at the house of lamentations, and Mammon was trying to convince you to get rid of your cat 24/7.

Ah, he could see that. Your cat isn’t exactly normal, and Mammon does occasionally scream like a girl. I promise I love Mammon. But it’s not like he minded, so long as you two were quiet and actually studied.

He left to clean for a bit, and when he returned to the guest room he saw you wearing a headband, violently writing down and muttering definitions at an insane pace. Buff Cat was in a teacher’s outfit, and holding out flash cards.

He’s slightly taken aback, but doesn’t show it anywhere on his face. He has never seen you so serious before, and neither has he seen Buff Cat so focused on you, as well.

He’s quite proud of you two for your hard work and dedication. He doesn’t interrupt but instead pours you three cups of tea, Buff Cat thanks him, and watches over you two.

Solomon

Solomon invited you over for a study session. He may be a little shady, but he does care for you, as a fellow human.

He was ecstatic to see Buff Cat come with you, because he still wants to dissect your cat.

He was about to talk to you about letting him research you cat, but you made yourself comfortable on his bed, and Buff Cat began to put on glasses and take out a pointer.

He didn’t have anytime to talk beforehand, as you were highlighting certain areas of your book, your cat pointing to certain parts, and you patted the bed beside you for Solomon to join.

Solomon’s plans to dissect your cat are set back another day, but he takes great interest in the way he teaches. Your cat is very methodical about how to remember things, and explains(meows) it rather simply.

He swears that your cat is not a normal human cat, but why can he sense literally zero magic power from it? If only Buff Cat could teach him that.

Solomon also gets 100% on the next test by remembering everything the way Buff Cat had taught you two.

Simeon

Absolutely chaotic man, when he sees you and Buff Cat in a classroom when school was over, he approached you two, and said hello.

You greeted him, and so did Buff Cat. He asked what you were doing after school so late, and that it was dangerous for the two of you. Buff Cat not so much but could still be in danger.

You told him you were studying for the upcoming test, and that Buff Cat was helping you.

Simeon was like!!! 💖👉👈💖💖💖💖🥰🥰🥺🥺 could I join?? This sounds so fun!! Buff Cat is so smart!!

He does not question the fact he’s studying with a cat, learning from a cat, or just how nice your cat can write on paper, like perfect handwriting.

He has such chaotic energy that he’s just like you, what a cute cat!

Luke

no.

just no.

he’s fine with your cat but does your cat have to be in buff form when you’re being taught?

he is happy you are getting good grades but please get him away from buff form buff cat.

Jungkook’s FIC REC | series

Because I spend a lot of time here on tumblr reading fanfictions, I wanted to create my own fic recs. Like that, I can recommend fictions that deserve more recognition and at the same time, if I want to reread one of them, I just have to come here.

Everything on this list is about Jungkook. And of course, all those works have been written by the authors I tagged next to the name of the fictions, they do not belong to me (and if the authors want me to remove their work from my rec, I will).

I also want to thank the authors. I really appreciate all your works and efforts to create all those beautiful stories. I send you all of my love.

I decided to try writing a commentary for each of the stories. I always try to use the right pronouns when talking about the authors, but if I used the wrong ones for you, don’t hesitate to tell me. I will change it in a minute.

(f) = fluff

(a) = angst

(m) = mature

The following fictions are all about completed and finished series. I hope you will enjoy them as much as I did.

Complete

— wanted (F) (M) | One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five ; Six — by @jincherie​

You were a deserter, a renegade, a wanted “criminal”. It was never in your plans to crash land on that planet, and it most certainly wasn’t in your plans to fall in love with it’s handsome ruler.

space au | alien au | royalty au | soulmate au | +56k

Commentary - To be honest, I don’t even know where to start and what to start with.                           But I think I’m simply gonna start with my first thoughts of this story. Because this fiction, I saw it multiple times on many fic recs. And to be completely honest, every single time I saw it, I found the summary attractive and intriguing but something was holding me. Probably the universe. The fear of being unsatisfied and disappointed.                           Because the difficulty with that kind of fiction is to immerse the reader in a universe they don’t know. You then have to describe it enough so that the reader can represent it in their head, but not too much to the point of becoming heavy. And this balance between the ‘enough’ and the ‘not too much’, you find it perfectly in ‘wanted’. I was not only imagining the scenery, I was totally living it. I was seeing everything, I was completely immerged, as if I had been living in that world my whole life.                            Also, the other risk with diving into a fantastic universe is the possibility of writing (or reading) something that has already been done. Yes, I already read stories where the characters are traveling from planet to planet. Yes, I already read love stories between an alien and a human. And yes, I read stories with kings before. However, this story is totally coming from the author’s imagination, or at least that’s the feeling I have. I don’t feel like I’m reading another story with aliens or in the future or a love story between a king and a non-royal reader that eveybody already knows by heart. No, I am reading Rha’s own story, her scenery, her plots, her descriptions... It was coming from her and it was her interpretation of an ‘alien world’ in the future. And I was even more stunned that I was not expecting that at all. It was in definitive a fucking good surprise. If you ask my opinion, I could even imagine it being the next best-seller book and then someone adapting this fiction in the next record-breaker movie.                             Now, let’s talk about the love story. Shit, fuck, damn. I’ve been craving a good love story these past few days and she gave it to me. A slow burn with a good amount of actions between the two characters, a flirty and sensual back and forth, a little bit of soulmate au, characters who have a personnality and feel truthful emotions, a last chapter with full on smut... It was for me a delight!                             And can we talk about that smut? Spoiler alert: Rha will make you wait until the very last minute, the very last chapter. And after waiting five long chapters, I personally only had two words for that smut... The. Fuck. I was so scared when I read the warnings and I saw tentacles and triple penetration. I was wondering where the author were bringing us. BUT BUT BUT!!! Holy fuck! I think we need all to respect a minute of silence in memory of the old me who just died. BECAUSE HOLY CRAP I FEEL LIKE A NEW WOMAN. No, but honestly, I am starting a new day tomorrow as a new person. This smut was something else. Never thought tentacles could be that exc.... Okay, I’m stopping now before making a whole essay on that perfect-amount-of-kink smut :)))                             I am going to conclude this lil (lol lmao lmfao) comment by emphasizing the work the author put in that fiction. For me, Rha’s story deserve so much recognition. Because this is clearly one of those fics where you can feel everything has been thought. Everything has an explanation, everything arrives at the perfect moment, everything is followed by a logical event, without being predictable. The plot, the secondary plots, the characters, the details... This author truly has nothing to envy to those ‘famous authors’ like J.K. Rowling, J.R.R. Tolkien, Jane Austen...                             This was not the first fiction she wrote that I read (she actually is the second account writing about bts I followed) and it is not a surprise that I loved so much this story. I am even certain, even if I just finished reading it, that this fiction will be one of those that you remember of, even years and years after you first read them.                              So Rha, if you happen to read this, let me tell you that you have a real talent, and you should keep embracing it! Love you lots, sweetheart, and I’m looking forward your next pieces of art.

— Falling Skies (F) (A) (M) | Prologue ; One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five ; Six — by @fortunexkookie​

Jeon Jiyeon was your childhood best friend; her brother, Jungkook, was something else entirely. Once upon a time, she had called you her sun and him her moon; it was fitting, given the constant push-and-pull between you two. You used to consider him a friend, but then he had gone from endearingly frustrating dumb boy to card-carrying fuckboy so fast it had given you whiplash.

You often wondered how Jiyeon wasn’t bothered by his behavior. In fact, she often seemed to encourage it. What you failed to see was that she was just trying to show you how he reflected your light. Jiyeon had realized he was in love with you even before he did, but of course she knew. It was a twin thing.

So despite the fighting and teasing, you always found yourself drawn back to him. You knew he was one of two constants in your life: the Jeon twins were - and had always been - your one indisputable truth. You were the sun, Jungkook was the moon, and Jiyeon was the sky holding you both up When she died, it ripped a black hole right through you.

friends to enemies | enemies to friends | friends to lovers | +50k

Commentary - I think I will never have the words to express how much I love this story. This fiction has its own place in my heart, and I have the need to come back from time to time to read again and again and again this beautiful piece of work.                          I’m gonna be honest with you. If you don’t like angst, if you don’t want to suffer even a little bit, this fiction is not for you.                          However, you would miss something. And a big something. Yes, your heart will sink, you might even cry but dammit, it is so worth it.                          Plus you will find some comfort in Jungkook and reader’s love story. Who doesn’t love a good ‘enemies to lovers’ at the same time of a ‘friends to lovers’. Did I mention smut? No, I did not yet. SMUT, ladies and gentleman. Good smut.                          In a few words to summarize that all, this is an amazing, wonderful, brilliant masterpiece. Just... go read it.

— Roommates (M) | One ; Two ; Three — by @tayegi​

When you accepted to let Jungkook, your best friend’s younger brother, to live with you, you did not take into account how much he grew up… and became that handsome young man.

roommate au | best friend’s brother | college au | +25k

Commentary - I’m pretty sure I couldn’t count how many times I read that fiction on only one hand.                          This story is the definition of slow-burn itself. As well as a collation of a roommate au, a best friend’s brother au, a friends to lovers au and an older reader. Let me tell you that when Jungkook and reader finally decides to act on that tension, it doesn’t end up in fire, but rathen in a volcanic eruption. And let’s be honest, that is exactly what we are here for.

— Animal (F) (A) (M) | One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five ; Six ; Seven ; Eight ; Nine — by @cutaepatootie​

“I don’t want to die without telling someone about her,” he says, his voice softening when he says ‘her’. “I don’t want to disappear without the world knowing about her and what she did for me.”

“About her?” the girl frowns.

Maybe his daughter? His sister?

The man turns his head and faces the girl, a soft, distant smile plastered on his lips. The gesture is nostalgic, sad, almost loving.

“Y/N,” he murmurs, the name rolling off his lips softly, just as softly as the waves of the sea roll over the sand. “Her name was Y/N.”

boxer au | flashback au | +115k

Commentary -  I’m not gonna lie, this story, I haven’t read it much. Simply because every single time I read it, I left some parts of my heart behind me.                         You can’t and I promise you that you won’t come out of this fanfiction in one piece. My heart broke the first time I read it. And the second time. And the third time. And this is probably the most I read it. Not that I didn’t like it, on the contrary: it is one of my favorite fictions in here. But there are some stories that you can’t read too many times, because they bring you such a combination of pain and joy, suffering and contentment, sorrow and euphoria that it is hard to handle, that you need some time to heal before reading it again.                          Putting words on what I felt while reading it is hard. I loved the characters, I loved the plot, the different stages of their relationship... And the end! I don’t think I would find someone who wouldn’t want for the end to be different. The last part let me in pain. Literally. I had a knot in my stomach and tears in my eyes. I had to stop two or three times to breathe in before continuing.                           In conclusion, if you love stories full of emotions, just go for that one. I read a lot, like a freaking whole lot. And fuck, this fiction is beautiful. Destructive also, but it is really worth it.

— Bunny Boy (M) | One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five — by @parkmuse​

Catching feelings for your sisters friend wasn’t part of your plan.

sister’s best friend | older!reader | virgin!reader | +17k

Commentary - If you have the same taste as me in terms of fictions, you will like this fiction. There’s no complicated plot behind this story, but this is exactly what I loved about it.                          Sometimes, you just need a simple story between the reader and her sister’s best friend. A simple story between two young people pining for each other. A simple story maybe, but with a lot of charm.                          I particurly appreciate this story because of its simplicity. Love is not always complicated and impossible, and it is refreshing to read a story that remins you of that.

— Cream & Sugar (F) (M) | One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five ; Six — by @taehyungforreal​

Stepping into this coffee shop was either the best or the worst idea of your life. You know that barista, you know he’s great in bed. You also know he’s the biggest asshole you’ve ever met.

escort au | barista au | enemies to lovers | +36k

Commentary - Cream & Sugar is another gem you can find on tumblr. Every time I read this serie, I fall in love once again with the characters of this stories. They are realistic, genuine and fierce. And this is what I love the most about Ashley’s fictions: the realism she puts in every single one of her work.                          The stories are thought, the psychology of the characters have been analyzed, the plot is consistent. This is not a coincidence I love everything that she writes; she has talent, and you should go read her fictions.                          And if you love slow-burn, sexual tension, and a good enemies to lovers universe, I warmly recommend you to start with this beautiful serie that I read multiple times and that I will continue to read again and again.

— Everything in you (F) (M) | One ; Two — by @jjungkookislife​

Y/n wants a baby, Jungkook is wiiling to help.

best friends to lovers | roommate au | pregnant!reader | +24k

Commentary - If you are looking for a cute and soft Jungkook’s story, I hardly recommend you to not click on this one. And for the others who are ready to give it a go, make sure to prepare your eyes and soul beforehand. This fiction is made of 90% of smut. This is kinky Jungkook asf, this is filth, this is all we like to read. Plus if we add the friends to lovers theme on top of everything else, this fiction can be considered as the holy grail for sinners like me. (But if you consider yourself pure and innocent, I promise the damnation is worth it.)

— the jeon twins (F) (A) ; kookie ending ; jk ending — by @krreader​

jk thought he was doing this for his twin’s good. falling in love with you while pretending to be kookie was never something he planned on doing and he hated himself for it.

twins!jeon | college au | badboy!jk | nerd!kookie

Commentary - I loved the concet of this fiction. A double ending, so everyone is happy at the end. Plus we have the duality of Jungkook in one fiction: the nerdy part of him vs the iNtErNaTiOnAl PlAyBoY one. And I have to admit that I’m a sucker for both of them. So having them reunited in one fiction is a delight.

— fear is forever (F) (A) | One: fear in your eyes ; Two: forever and a night — by @gukyi​

there’s a werewolf in that forest behind your house, they told you, and he’ll eat you before you can even beg for mercy.

werewolf au | strangers to lovers | +8k

Commentary - For some reasons, this story hit me hard.                          I love reading werewolf au, or should I say that I just love everything that is supernatural and magical. But this one was different.                          No crazy smut, no mate au, no pack. At some point, I even thought about Red Riding Hood, but not because the stories are similar. Far from it.                          I didn’t realize it directly, but after a few days, I was still thinking about it, and I could imagine telling that story to my future children. And then I realized why I was associating it to Red Riding Hood.                          This story feels like a fairytale. The famous ones. The ones that you tell your children before they go to sleep. The ones with magic, as much in the story itself as in the way it is written. The ones that make you still think about them days after you first read it. This story is literally a fairytale.

— Cafuné (F) (A) (M) | One ; Two — by @daffodilon​

cafuné - (brazilian portuguese)

“the act of running your fingers through your lover’s hair; among the few words that cannot be directly translated into english”

roommates au | friends to lovers | +19k

Commentary - This fiction is the personification of the friends to lovers au itself.                          You want soft? You will have soft. You want soft smut? You will have soft smut. You want soft smut with Jungkook? Seriously, I don’t know why you still are here reading my bullshit when you could be reading that beautiful baby instead.  

— vaunt (M) | One ; Two — by @yminie​

Every weekend Beta Tau throws a ‘little’ party to help students relax and let loose, and the frat resident Jungkook has a big mouth that talks a lot of big game. You finally get sick of the lack of relaxation on your end and set out to see if he’s all talk.

college au | fratboy!jungkook | enemies to lovers | +18k

Commentary - I only have three words to describe that fiction: big dick Jungkook.                          You want reasons to go read this story? A lot of smut. A good amount of crack. A little bit of fluff to end the story. And also, fuckboy!jungkook; fratboy!jungkook; and Big. Dick. Jungkook.                          You want a little bit more of filth and sin in your life? You are in the right place, that’s all I have to say.

— bad for you (A) (M) | drabble 1 ; drabble 2 ; Epilogue: undressed — by @yoonia​

His whole presence emits sin and danger, and you are not supposed to be attracted to him on the first glance. 

stripper au | bachelorette au | +31k

Commentary - Another fiction that I love reading again from time to time.                          And yes, cheating is wrong. Don’t do it at home kids. But no, I am not ashamed to love that fiction so much.                          I’m a sucker for Jungkook. But I’m a hoe for stripper!Jungkook. Plus the alchemy between reader and Jk is too good to not count that fiction in the top of my list of fictions. You add smut, fluff and the right amount of angst and BAM! You end up with a five stars fiction that you will devour until the very end. 

The Tragedy of Rey Palpatine

I really, really, like Rey Skywalker, in concept. I think she could have been an amazing character and the perfect torch-bearer for the mythos going forward. After The Force Awakens, i was all in with this new trio of characters. Say what you will about Abrams, dude knows how to build a character. He knows how to write a story and Rey’s began wonderfully. She had all of the potential to be held in the same esteem as Mara Jade, Leia Organa, and Ahsoka Tano. Hell, Disney even introduced Chelli Aphra in the Vader comics, another brilliant, female character of Asian descent. Each of these characters were fleshed out, nuanced, and felt real. There is a humanity to them and, i imagine that’s where Abrams wanted to take Rey. Then The Last Jedi happened and ruined almost everything. I think it did a great service for Kylo Ren, overall, but everything else got a big fat Rian Johnson/Kathleen Kennedy sh*t all over it.

Abrams set up a ton of intriguing plots to explore going forward. The hints that Finn may be Force sensitive, the mystery of how Mas got a hold of Anakin’s lightsaber after Vader cut Luke’s hand off in Empire, who the f*ck was Snoke; All threads that could have been elaborated upon to embellish the new characters and give an opportunity to pass the torch on with the new characters. More than anything, the enigma of Rey Skywalker could have driven this trilogy of films in a direction for the ages. The seeds were there for greatness. Why did she hear Obi Wan in that flashback? Why was she spared by the Knights of Ren? Why did Ren know exactly what girl that trooper reported about? The only answer we got was that Rey was the spawn of a Palpatine clone and it was stupid.That reveal was the dumbest sh*t in Rise of Skywalker and there was a lot of dumb sh*t in that movie. Rise spent way too much time apologizing for what Last Jedi did to the mythos and had literally no time to fix the characters going forward. That’s how bad Kathleen Kennedy let Rian Johnson f*ck up.

I like the Last Jedi as a space opera. Hell, i even like it as a Star Wars side story in the vein of Solo or Rogue One. If those events happened in between VII and VIII, cool. But to be a mainline entry? Are you kidding? It just gets so much wrong about the overall lore while simultaneously sabotaging all of the character development and good will fostered by it’s predecessor. The level of f*ckery in The Last Jedi is ind of amazing. At it’s core, The Last Jedi s a fanfic, filled with OC characters, trying to “subvert” expectation to be more than it can or has any right to be. Rian Johnson wanted to make his movie, mythos be damned. Trilogy be damned. Kathleen Kennedy was okay with all of that as long as Johnson pushed her agenda and virtue signaled for all the “Girl Bosses” out there, which he did. The end result was a usual cool, collected, Resistance Ace, Poe Dameron, literally committing treason. We got a regression in the character of Finn, a former Stormtrooper turned rebel scum, a traitor to the First Order who literally got into a lightsaber duel with Vader’s grandson to protect his maybe-love interest, try to runaway like a f*cking coward, only to be tasered into a drooling mess by Rian Johnson’s Jar Jar binx. And the sh*t they did to Luke? That mess is criminal and an entire essay for another time. The Last Jedi f*cked everything up, forcing Abrams to course correct for two and half hours. This sh*t killed any momentum the Disney films had, it killed any semblance of a cohesive narrative going forward, and, worst of all, it murdered any semblance of Rey being more than a poorly written Mary-sue.

These new trilogies had every opportunity to be great. If they had someone with a reverence, a respect, for the source material helming Lucasfilm, they would have been. Look what Filoni has done with The Clone Wars and Rebels. Look what Favreau is doing with Mando. This might be a little glib but, considering Disney is bringing him in for a Star Wars trilogy on their own, look what Feige has done with the MCU? Hell, all things Marvel at this point. When you focus on dope stories and compelling characters, the narrative takes care of itself. When you focus on agenda and pushing divisive material, you can’t help but destroy what you hope to build. Kennedy is letting her ego cut her off at the knees when, if she just reined that sh*t in a bit, she could have been standing tall and walking into the future with her OCs intact. Instead, she has people in her own organization apologizing for her f*ck ups as the value of the legacy property you were gifted, tanks at a hilariously exponential rate. So how do we fix Rey and, effectively fix this entire trilogy?

First off, she needs to be a Skywalker. That is an absolute necessity. I would make her Luke’s kid. That would explain away her proficiency with the Force, the fact she pilots like a champ, and has that hole Force Dyad bullsh*t with Ren, like her dad and aunt kind of have. Rey would be an organic growth of the Skywalker legacy while simultaneously bringing a refreshing conclusion to it with Episode IX. I would build the familial relationship between Kylo and Rey, one representing either side of the Force, both fighting to discover something about themselves within, over the course of this trilogy. I would have made Rey Luke’s kid; A proper Skywalker. I would have made her mother Mara Jade, opening up a whole situation that could have been embellished into at least two spin-off tales with a ton of ramifications going forward. I mean, imagine a story where Luke had to fight off the Knights of Ren AND his nephew before Ben donned the mask, as his pregnant wife ran off into space to avoid the overall destruction of the New Jedi Order. That sh*t writes itself.

You get a side story of Mara Jade and a young Rey on the run, being chased by the Knights over the years, until she leaves Rey on Jakku, ultimately meeting her fate in a last stand battle, like her nephew, at the hands of several Knights on some nameless planet. Or Tatooine, i dunno. That’s an entire film. That’s a brand new, female lead you can explore. It’s organic. It homages the lore. It’s respectful of the overall mythos. It’s literally better than anything Disney has done with the mainline titles so far. Hell, you can even explore how Luke met Mara. Maybe she was one of the reformed Knights. Maybe she was one of the surviving Force Sensitives after Order 66. Maybe she used to be an Inquisitor but turned on Paps once Vader saw the light. Personally, i would skew more toward her being a former Inquisitor, seeking out Luke for revenge but, upon finding him, falls in love after several clashes. That gives Mara depth and allows for her to grow over a novel or two. Maybe a stand alone film. Luke would self-exile after losing to Ren but not because of the L, more because he thinks his wife and unborn kid are long dead. He’s heartbroken and knows he isn’t strong enough to fell his own nephew so Luke runs away. He goes into exile, like Yoda and Obi Wan before him, all the way to Ahch-to, searching for some killer app to finish Snoke before he can really get started. Imagine how much emotional resonance the ending of Episode VII could of held, going this route. Luke staring at Rey with such apprehension and regret. He immediately knows this is his daughter. That she's live. That she's here to ask him to do what he can't.

You'd spend the a good chunk of Episode VIII building that relationship. Showing Luke being cold and stand-offish because he knows Rey is his kid and he regrets his choice to run. He knows that Mara survived for years without him, probably dogged by First Order assassins. That the woman he loved, died alone after abandoning her child to strangers on a backwater planet somewhere in the galaxy. He knows this adult woman standing before him, is his and Mara’s living legacy and he doesn’t want her anywhere near the conflict to come. She’s demanding to be trained. He’s dismissive and curt, until the Dyad with Ren kicks in. Just being on the Force rich planet of Ahch-to increases Rey’s sensitivity, allowing Snoke to tether her to her cousin. When she goes straight to the dark, that’s Ren’s influence. When she cracks the rock and wigs Luke out, that’s Ren’s influence. In order to combat that growing corruption, Luke decides to train Rey to combat the dark. We actually show look acting like a master, teaching Rey sh*t instead of just, you know, “go cut that rock”. We show her learning from Luke, growing in confidence with her abilities. This entire sequence can take the place of literally all of the Canto Bight nonsense. No one liked any of that and it kills the momentum of the entire narrative going forward. Replace it with Rey actually being trained and you not only give her an opportunity for much needed character development, but you give Luke so much more of an arc and a means to have him bow out with substantial grace. If you decide to go the “Luke Dies at the end” route. Personally, i would have nixed Leia in VIII considering things and moved forward with Luke as the survivor but that's another story. I'd have to rework all of VIII and I don't feel like doing that right now. Leia’s death would devastate Ren, flooding him with a boost in the Dark Side, enough to slay Snoke and raise him to Supreme Leader without the need of Rey’s help. This would lead into a version of Colin Trevorrow’s version of Episode IX, which i think is a superior narrative overall but we’ll get there when we get there. Maybe.

The climax of the Last Jedi could be exactly the same but now it has so much more depth. It has so much more resonance for the trilogy going forward. Luke’s sacrifice would mean something  as we watched him slowly come to terms with his daughter being the hope going forward, effectively replacing him in the narrative. Most fans would be okay with this as, even though he never tells Rey he’s her father outright, the audience kind of knows. It’s hinted at. The reveal can come in IX somehow or in his last regards to Leia. He apologizes for Kylo but reassures her that, even if he passes, her niece will carry on the fight. Luke tells Leia of Rey's parontagem she says “I know” like her husband, and promises to continue Rey's training to best of her abilities. Kylo gets his shadows chase. Luke’s last words have so much more impact. We have an emotional investment in Rey because the torch had been properly passed. I, personally, would rework the majority of the plot while i’m at it. I’d fix Poe, continue exploring Finn and his connection to the force, and find a way to make Rose Tico relevant without being trite. I mean, you can have the Canto Bight stuff but draw it back considerably. It doesn’t need to be an entire third of the whole f*cking movie.

I like the character of Amilyn Holdo, too, but her arc was stifled by nonsense politics and shallow development. All of that mediocrity kind of made her an easy target to hate, a lot like Rose. In my story, she’d still take the helm from Leia in Last Jedi but would have had an appearance in Force Awakens. She didn’t need to have a ton of facetime, maybe a shout out at the round table toward the end of VII or getting off the ship at Mas’ bar with Leia. Hell, a f*cking holo transmission would be enough of a mention, Holdo just needed a presence in that movie to be legitimized for the next. Rose was fine as is, she just needs more agency and not that bullsh*t, half-assed, love triangle that was literally dropped like a hot track on Soundcloud in the middle of a chase movie. That sh*t was stupid and it doomed Rose before she had a chance to even get started.

Episode IX would start like Rise, Kylo slaughtering his way toward the wayfinder, but revealing that planet was Mustafar instead of whatever planet he was on originally. Ren has been planetside for weeks, searching for the wayfinder dealy and the planets dark side alignment is taking it's toll on him.  The mcguffin is deep in the wreckage of Vader's demolished castle, the deep subdivision and what not. Kylo makes his way to it, fighting dark side shades of his grandfather in Anakin form, goading him about his weakness, feeding into Ren's inadequacies about being weaker than his pap-pap. Kylo finds the mcguffin and takes off toward the Outer reaches in an effort to unlock more power. After the climax to VIII, Rey returns to Ahck-to to find Luke gone and the growing pull to the dark within her as the Dyad is wide open and Ren's spiral is pulling Rey along toward the drain, too. She feels him getting closer to full Sith, all of that pain and rage, multiplied considerably by his anger toward his grandfather's shades. Kylo basically flies to the outer reaches to find a Lost sage of the Darkside. It's not a Jedi or a Sith, but a being that thrives in the Dark, like whatever Maul is, but gigantic and monstrous. He learns from that creature, all the while leaving Hux to command the Last Order in his stead, second by General Pryde. The two of these cats have a battle for power, Pryde suspecting Hux of being a traitor, Hux trying to stave of attempts for his seat at the head, all the while pounding the Rebels as they continue to fight. The Knights of Ren are off, clashing with Finn, Poe, Chewie, and Rose as they search for another means to find a way to Rey, as she has the map and R2 with her on Ahck-to where she is training for the final battle. The majority of the film continues to follow the basic plot of IX, mcguffin chasing and what not, with Finn, finally adept enough in the force, to adequately take Rey’s place in those narrative spots.

We have the whole montage of training on both worlds; Force ghost Luke showing Rey more advanced techniques and Ren taking on a full-on, Vader shade, like Luke, in the Outer Regions or whatever. Eventually, the remaining main characters decide to split up as the pressure of the Last Order continues to deplete their resources. Finn fixes Anakin’s lightsaber and begins to train with it under the tutelage of Mas, who is all in with the Rebels now, as they go after the other mcgiffin on Endor. He still meets the other former stormtroopers or whatever and they still help in the final battle but, instead of Rey and Kylo, it Finn and a few Knights of Ren. Maybe two, I dunno. Anyway, he beats them with Anakin's saber, gets the mcgissin and returns to the Rebel base, stormtrooper backup in hand. Poe and Lando try to drum up support for a final strike on the Last Order’s base and you get that whole shtick with Keri Russell's character. I'd take her helmet off, too. Why the f*ck  would you hide Keri's face? Shes adorable! Finn and Lando try their best, but it seems like a no-go so Lando stays to work his magic as he and Chewie return to the Rebel planet. Rose can return to the Rebel planet and take charge of strategy or whatever as Leia secludes herself within the base. I dunno. Rose is kind of hard to place because she has no discernible talents but I imagine anything is better than what they did to her originally. Anyway, Rey is able to develop enough self-control to force the Dyad closed, cutting Ren's influence off from her but, at the same time, her influence off from Ren, completely. That's gonna have big ramifications later.

Around the end of the second act, Ren sees a force projection from his mother pleading with him to turn back to the light but he waves her off. Like her brother, Leia uses the last of her strength in this effort and she dies, pushing Ren over the edge, forcing him into full Sith. Since Rey closed the Dyad, Ren has no semblance of Light to keep the Dark at bay and he just absorbs SO much of it. It multiplies his strength in the Force and Ren is able to slay the Dark Sage, take it's power, and return to his fleet. Sh*t, the sage might be an actual Sith, Like, the people Sith and Ren kills him, effectively exterminated the race. Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot. Anyway, Ren arrives to find Hux is the traitor so he allows Pryde to kill him. Pryde takes command and they raise their newly constructed, massive, fleet along with a brand new flag ship. Mobile, lightspeed ready, and far more deadly than any planet cannon, Ren is ready to begin his march of devastation. Our heroes arrive on the First Order hideaway and the battle ensues. Finn boards the flagship, clashing with the remaining Knights of Ren, his hit squad of former Stormtroopers at his side, as Rose uses her tech skills to drop the shields or whatever they were doing with horses on that spaceship at he end of IX. Rey arrives on the planet, Ren sensing her returns to the surface, to face off with each other. Ren is brimming with the dark, Rey knows he;s too far gone to save and she resolved to do what is necessary to end his tyranny. She ignites Lukes green lightsber, which upsets Ren and then Leia's  yellow saber, which sends Ren into a legit rage. Yeah, Rey dual-wields now because it's cool. Poe does his whole lone ranger whatever as he's the last of the vanguard and sh*t. All is lost.

The reinforcements show up in the nick of time and sh*t happens. Big ass sky battle with spaceships and explosions and sh*t, while Finn, Rose, and that black chick accomplish their task on the flagship. Shields dow, sh*t stats blowing up, fun times. Rey gets wrecked by Kylo, who is all the way Dark, no redemption, yellow rage eyes and everything. She’s getting dumped on until she forces the dyad open, allowing Ren to see the Force ghosts of Jedi Masters of old, as they all appear behind Rey, including Leia, Luke, and Mara Jade. They speak that bullsh*t, lay hands on Rei's lightsabers giving her a jump in power, and Rey defeats Ren in a harrowing duel. It has to end in a lightsaber clash. How can it not? Finn wrecks the remaining Knights and the flagship falls as the Rebel fleet overcomes the last of the Last Order. Ren is defeated, dying slowly, lamenting his choices. In his last moments, as the Force ghosts fade, the last few left are his mother, uncle, and grandpa. The last thing Ben sees as he dies is the face of the man he’s chased for so long. Poetic. Tragic. Requisite celebration on a jungle planet ensues while Rey is off, giving Ben a proper Jedi bonfire. Finn approaches, objecting to the respect shown, but she tells him that, in the end, Ren was still a Skywalker. If Vader can be forgiven, so could Ben. The two watch as the flames rise into the night sky. We get a scene of a shadow tracing the insides of Uncle Owen’s joint on Tatooine, generators firing on, mechanics coming to life. Rey is seen, all by her lonesome, igniting her new, personal, lightsabers; Gold, I guess? Is that what color they were supposed to be? A young kid arrives, inquiring about why the old Lars place is lit up for the first time in decades. He asks her name. She hesitates, looking over her shoulder to see the force ghosts of Anakin, Leia, Luke, Mara, and Ben; Her entire family. She gives a knowing smile and answers, “Rey. Rey Skywalker.”

This is just a rough outline of how i would have written this trilogy. I might embellish a little bit, maybe write it up as a proper fan fiction, but i don’t know. There’s a lot to unpack and i don’t really want to spend the time actually fleshing out this narrative but, i believe this is far superior to anything Disney has done. It fixes Rey, sets up Ren as a actual antagonistic force, kills anything resembling a Reylo romance, returns agency to Finn and Poe, fixes Rose, makes Mas a factor, and wraps everything up nicely. You get answers to the questions from before, the Knights of Ren have a presence throughout the entirety of the trilogy, and even divisive characters like Holdo get a shot at relevance outside of agenda. More than anything Rey being a Skywalker feels earned. It feels organic. It feels right. This is the bookend the Skywalker story deserved, not the rushed, politic laden, ego trip we got.

The Tragedy of Rey Palpatine

I really, really, like Rey Skywalker, in concept. I think she could have been an amazing character and the perfect torch-bearer for the mythos going forward. After The Force Awakens, i was all in with this new trio of characters. Say what you will about Abrams, dude knows how to build a character. He knows how to write a story and Rey’s began wonderfully. She had all of the potential to be held in the same esteem as Mara Jade, Leia Organa, and Ahsoka Tano. Hell, Disney even introduced Chelli Aphra in the Vader comics, another brilliant, female character of Asian descent. Each of these characters were fleshed out, nuanced, and felt real. There is a humanity to them and, i imagine that’s where Abrams wanted to take Rey. Then The Last Jedi happened and ruined almost everything. I think it did a great service for Kylo Ren, overall, but everything else got a big fat Rian Johnson/Kathleen Kennedy sh*t all over it.

Abrams set up a ton of intriguing plots to explore going forward. The hints that Finn may be Force sensitive, the mystery of how Mas got a hold of Anakin’s lightsaber after Vader cut Luke’s hand off in Empire, who the f*ck was Snoke; All threads that could have been elaborated upon to embellish the new characters and give an opportunity to pass the torch on with the new characters. More than anything, the enigma of Rey Skywalker could have driven this trilogy of films in a direction for the ages. The seeds were there for greatness. Why did she hear Obi Wan in that flashback? Why was she spared by the Knights of Ren? Why did Ren know exactly what girl that trooper reported about? The only answer we got was that Rey was the spawn of a Palpatine clone and it was stupid.That reveal was the dumbest sh*t in Rise of Skywalker and there was a lot of dumb sh*t in that movie. Rise spent way too much time apologizing for what Last Jedi did to the mythos and had literally no time to fix the characters going forward. That’s how bad Kathleen Kennedy let Rian Johnson f*ck up.

I like the Last Jedi as a space opera. Hell, i even like it as a Star Wars side story in the vein of Solo or Rogue One. If those events happened in between VII and VIII, cool. But to be a mainline entry? Are you kidding? It just gets so much wrong about the overall lore while simultaneously sabotaging all of the character development and good will fostered by it’s predecessor. The level of f*ckery in The Last Jedi is ind of amazing. At it’s core, The Last Jedi s a fanfic, filled with OC characters, trying to “subvert” expectation to be more than it can or has any right to be. Rian Johnson wanted to make his movie, mythos be damned. Trilogy be damned. Kathleen Kennedy was okay with all of that as long as Johnson pushed her agenda and virtue signaled for all the “Girl Bosses” out there, which he did. The end result was a usual cool, collected, Resistance Ace, Poe Dameron, literally committing treason. We got a regression in the character of Finn, a former Stormtrooper turned rebel scum, a traitor to the First Order who literally got into a lightsaber duel with Vader’s grandson to protect his maybe-love interest, try to runaway like a f*cking coward, only to be tasered into a drooling mess by Rian Johnson’s Jar Jar binx. And the sh*t they did to Luke? That mess is criminal and an entire essay for another time. The Last Jedi f*cked everything up, forcing Abrams to course correct for two and half hours. This sh*t killed any momentum the Disney films had, it killed any semblance of a cohesive narrative going forward, and, worst of all, it murdered any semblance of Rey being more than a poorly written Mary-sue.

These new trilogies had every opportunity to be great. If they had someone with a reverence, a respect, for the source material helming Lucasfilm, they would have been. Look what Filoni has done with The Clone Wars and Rebels. Look what Favreau is doing with Mando. This might be a little glib but, considering Disney is bringing him in for a Star Wars trilogy on their own, look what Feige has done with the MCU? Hell, all things Marvel at this point. When you focus on dope stories and compelling characters, the narrative takes care of itself. When you focus on agenda and pushing divisive material, you can’t help but destroy what you hope to build. Kennedy is letting her ego cut her off at the knees when, if she just reined that sh*t in a bit, she could have been standing tall and walking into the future with her OCs intact. Instead, she has people in her own organization apologizing for her f*ck ups as the value of the legacy property you were gifted, tanks at a hilariously exponential rate. So how do we fix Rey and, effectively fix this entire trilogy?

First off, she needs to be a Skywalker. That is an absolute necessity. I would make her Luke’s kid. That would explain away her proficiency with the Force, the fact she pilots like a champ, and has that hole Force Dyad bullsh*t with Ren, like her dad and aunt kind of have. Rey would be an organic growth of the Skywalker legacy while simultaneously bringing a refreshing conclusion to it with Episode IX. I would build the familial relationship between Kylo and Rey, one representing either side of the Force, both fighting to discover something about themselves within, over the course of this trilogy. I would have made Rey Luke’s kid; A proper Skywalker. I would have made her mother Mara Jade, opening up a whole situation that could have been embellished into at least two spin-off tales with a ton of ramifications going forward. I mean, imagine a story where Luke had to fight off the Knights of Ren AND his nephew before Ben donned the mask, as his pregnant wife ran off into space to avoid the overall destruction of the New Jedi Order. That sh*t writes itself.

You get a side story of Mara Jade and a young Rey on the run, being chased by the Knights over the years, until she leaves Rey on Jakku, ultimately meeting her fate in a last stand battle, like her nephew, at the hands of several Knights on some nameless planet. Or Tatooine, i dunno. That’s an entire film. That’s a brand new, female lead you can explore. It’s organic. It homages the lore. It’s respectful of the overall mythos. It’s literally better than anything Disney has done with the mainline titles so far. Hell, you can even explore how Luke met Mara. Maybe she was one of the reformed Knights. Maybe she was one of the surviving Force Sensitives after Order 66. Maybe she used to be an Inquisitor but turned on Paps once Vader saw the light. Personally, i would skew more toward her being a former Inquisitor, seeking out Luke for revenge but, upon finding him, falls in love after several clashes. That gives Mara depth and allows for her to grow over a novel or two. Maybe a stand alone film. Luke would self-exile after losing to Ren but not because of the L, more because he thinks his wife and unborn kid are long dead. He’s heartbroken and knows he isn’t strong enough to fell his own nephew so Luke runs away. He goes into exile, like Yoda and Obi Wan before him, all the way to Ahch-to, searching for some killer app to finish Snoke before he can really get started. Imagine how much emotional resonance the ending of Episode VII could of held, going this route. Luke staring at Rey with such apprehension and regret. He immediately knows this is his daughter. That she's live. That she's here to ask him to do what he can't.

You'd spend the a good chunk of Episode VIII building that relationship. Showing Luke being cold and stand-offish because he knows Rey is his kid and he regrets his choice to run. He knows that Mara survived for years without him, probably dogged by First Order assassins. That the woman he loved, died alone after abandoning her child to strangers on a backwater planet somewhere in the galaxy. He knows this adult woman standing before him, is his and Mara’s living legacy and he doesn’t want her anywhere near the conflict to come. She’s demanding to be trained. He’s dismissive and curt, until the Dyad with Ren kicks in. Just being on the Force rich planet of Ahch-to increases Rey’s sensitivity, allowing Snoke to tether her to her cousin. When she goes straight to the dark, that’s Ren’s influence. When she cracks the rock and wigs Luke out, that’s Ren’s influence. In order to combat that growing corruption, Luke decides to train Rey to combat the dark. We actually show look acting like a master, teaching Rey sh*t instead of just, you know, “go cut that rock”. We show her learning from Luke, growing in confidence with her abilities. This entire sequence can take the place of literally all of the Canto Bight nonsense. No one liked any of that and it kills the momentum of the entire narrative going forward. Replace it with Rey actually being trained and you not only give her an opportunity for much needed character development, but you give Luke so much more of an arc and a means to have him bow out with substantial grace. If you decide to go the “Luke Dies at the end” route. Personally, i would have nixed Leia in VIII considering things and moved forward with Luke as the survivor but that's another story. I'd have to rework all of VIII and I don't feel like doing that right now. Leia’s death would devastate Ren, flooding him with a boost in the Dark Side, enough to slay Snoke and raise him to Supreme Leader without the need of Rey’s help. This would lead into a version of Colin Trevorrow’s version of Episode IX, which i think is a superior narrative overall but we’ll get there when we get there. Maybe.

The climax of the Last Jedi could be exactly the same but now it has so much more depth. It has so much more resonance for the trilogy going forward. Luke’s sacrifice would mean something  as we watched him slowly come to terms with his daughter being the hope going forward, effectively replacing him in the narrative. Most fans would be okay with this as, even though he never tells Rey he’s her father outright, the audience kind of knows. It’s hinted at. The reveal can come in IX somehow or in his last regards to Leia. He apologizes for Kylo but reassures her that, even if he passes, her niece will carry on the fight. Luke tells Leia of Rey's parontagem she says “I know” like her husband, and promises to continue Rey's training to best of her abilities. Kylo gets his shadows chase. Luke’s last words have so much more impact. We have an emotional investment in Rey because the torch had been properly passed. I, personally, would rework the majority of the plot while i’m at it. I’d fix Poe, continue exploring Finn and his connection to the force, and find a way to make Rose Tico relevant without being trite. I mean, you can have the Canto Bight stuff but draw it back considerably. It doesn’t need to be an entire third of the whole f*cking movie.

I like the character of Amilyn Holdo, too, but her arc was stifled by nonsense politics and shallow development. All of that mediocrity kind of made her an easy target to hate, a lot like Rose. In my story, she’d still take the helm from Leia in Last Jedi but would have had an appearance in Force Awakens. She didn’t need to have a ton of facetime, maybe a shout out at the round table toward the end of VII or getting off the ship at Mas’ bar with Leia. Hell, a f*cking holo transmission would be enough of a mention, Holdo just needed a presence in that movie to be legitimized for the next. Rose was fine as is, she just needs more agency and not that bullsh*t, half-assed, love triangle that was literally dropped like a hot track on Soundcloud in the middle of a chase movie. That sh*t was stupid and it doomed Rose before she had a chance to even get started.

Episode IX would start like Rise, Kylo slaughtering his way toward the wayfinder, but revealing that planet was Mustafar instead of whatever planet he was on originally. Ren has been planetside for weeks, searching for the wayfinder dealy and the planets dark side alignment is taking it's toll on him.  The mcguffin is deep in the wreckage of Vader's demolished castle, the deep subdivision and what not. Kylo makes his way to it, fighting dark side shades of his grandfather in Anakin form, goading him about his weakness, feeding into Ren's inadequacies about being weaker than his pap-pap. Kylo finds the mcguffin and takes off toward the Outer reaches in an effort to unlock more power. After the climax to VIII, Rey returns to Ahck-to to find Luke gone and the growing pull to the dark within her as the Dyad is wide open and Ren's spiral is pulling Rey along toward the drain, too. She feels him getting closer to full Sith, all of that pain and rage, multiplied considerably by his anger toward his grandfather's shades. Kylo basically flies to the outer reaches to find a Lost sage of the Darkside. It's not a Jedi or a Sith, but a being that thrives in the Dark, like whatever Maul is, but gigantic and monstrous. He learns from that creature, all the while leaving Hux to command the Last Order in his stead, second by General Pryde. The two of these cats have a battle for power, Pryde suspecting Hux of being a traitor, Hux trying to stave of attempts for his seat at the head, all the while pounding the Rebels as they continue to fight. The Knights of Ren are off, clashing with Finn, Poe, Chewie, and Rose as they search for another means to find a way to Rey, as she has the map and R2 with her on Ahck-to where she is training for the final battle. The majority of the film continues to follow the basic plot of IX, mcguffin chasing and what not, with Finn, finally adept enough in the force, to adequately take Rey’s place in those narrative spots.

We have the whole montage of training on both worlds; Force ghost Luke showing Rey more advanced techniques and Ren taking on a full-on, Vader shade, like Luke, in the Outer Regions or whatever. Eventually, the remaining main characters decide to split up as the pressure of the Last Order continues to deplete their resources. Finn fixes Anakin’s lightsaber and begins to train with it under the tutelage of Mas, who is all in with the Rebels now, as they go after the other mcgiffin on Endor. He still meets the other former stormtroopers or whatever and they still help in the final battle but, instead of Rey and Kylo, it Finn and a few Knights of Ren. Maybe two, I dunno. Anyway, he beats them with Anakin's saber, gets the mcgissin and returns to the Rebel base, stormtrooper backup in hand. Poe and Lando try to drum up support for a final strike on the Last Order’s base and you get that whole shtick with Keri Russell's character. I'd take her helmet off, too. Why the f*ck  would you hide Keri's face? Shes adorable! Finn and Lando try their best, but it seems like a no-go so Lando stays to work his magic as he and Chewie return to the Rebel planet. Rose can return to the Rebel planet and take charge of strategy or whatever as Leia secludes herself within the base. I dunno. Rose is kind of hard to place because she has no discernible talents but I imagine anything is better than what they did to her originally. Anyway, Rey is able to develop enough self-control to force the Dyad closed, cutting Ren's influence off from her but, at the same time, her influence off from Ren, completely. That's gonna have big ramifications later.

Around the end of the second act, Ren sees a force projection from his mother pleading with him to turn back to the light but he waves her off. Like her brother, Leia uses the last of her strength in this effort and she dies, pushing Ren over the edge, forcing him into full Sith. Since Rey closed the Dyad, Ren has no semblance of Light to keep the Dark at bay and he just absorbs SO much of it. It multiplies his strength in the Force and Ren is able to slay the Dark Sage, take it's power, and return to his fleet. Sh*t, the sage might be an actual Sith, Like, the people Sith and Ren kills him, effectively exterminated the race. Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot. Anyway, Ren arrives to find Hux is the traitor so he allows Pryde to kill him. Pryde takes command and they raise their newly constructed, massive, fleet along with a brand new flag ship. Mobile, lightspeed ready, and far more deadly than any planet cannon, Ren is ready to begin his march of devastation. Our heroes arrive on the First Order hideaway and the battle ensues. Finn boards the flagship, clashing with the remaining Knights of Ren, his hit squad of former Stormtroopers at his side, as Rose uses her tech skills to drop the shields or whatever they were doing with horses on that spaceship at he end of IX. Rey arrives on the planet, Ren sensing her returns to the surface, to face off with each other. Ren is brimming with the dark, Rey knows he;s too far gone to save and she resolved to do what is necessary to end his tyranny. She ignites Lukes green lightsber, which upsets Ren and then Leia's  yellow saber, which sends Ren into a legit rage. Yeah, Rey dual-wields now because it's cool. Poe does his whole lone ranger whatever as he's the last of the vanguard and sh*t. All is lost.

The reinforcements show up in the nick of time and sh*t happens. Big ass sky battle with spaceships and explosions and sh*t, while Finn, Rose, and that black chick accomplish their task on the flagship. Shields dow, sh*t stats blowing up, fun times. Rey gets wrecked by Kylo, who is all the way Dark, no redemption, yellow rage eyes and everything. She’s getting dumped on until she forces the dyad open, allowing Ren to see the Force ghosts of Jedi Masters of old, as they all appear behind Rey, including Leia, Luke, and Mara Jade. They speak that bullsh*t, lay hands on Rei's lightsabers giving her a jump in power, and Rey defeats Ren in a harrowing duel. It has to end in a lightsaber clash. How can it not? Finn wrecks the remaining Knights and the flagship falls as the Rebel fleet overcomes the last of the Last Order. Ren is defeated, dying slowly, lamenting his choices. In his last moments, as the Force ghosts fade, the last few left are his mother, uncle, and grandpa. The last thing Ben sees as he dies is the face of the man he’s chased for so long. Poetic. Tragic. Requisite celebration on a jungle planet ensues while Rey is off, giving Ben a proper Jedi bonfire. Finn approaches, objecting to the respect shown, but she tells him that, in the end, Ren was still a Skywalker. If Vader can be forgiven, so could Ben. The two watch as the flames rise into the night sky. We get a scene of a shadow tracing the insides of Uncle Owen’s joint on Tatooine, generators firing on, mechanics coming to life. Rey is seen, all by her lonesome, igniting her new, personal, lightsabers; Gold, I guess? Is that what color they were supposed to be? A young kid arrives, inquiring about why the old Lars place is lit up for the first time in decades. He asks her name. She hesitates, looking over her shoulder to see the force ghosts of Anakin, Leia, Luke, Mara, and Ben; Her entire family. She gives a knowing smile and answers, “Rey. Rey Skywalker.”

This is just a rough outline of how i would have written this trilogy. I might embellish a little bit, maybe write it up as a proper fan fiction, but i don’t know. There’s a lot to unpack and i don’t really want to spend the time actually fleshing out this narrative but, i believe this is far superior to anything Disney has done. It fixes Rey, sets up Ren as a actual antagonistic force, kills anything resembling a Reylo romance, returns agency to Finn and Poe, fixes Rose, makes Mas a factor, and wraps everything up nicely. You get answers to the questions from before, the Knights of Ren have a presence throughout the entirety of the trilogy, and even divisive characters like Holdo get a shot at relevance outside of agenda. More than anything Rey being a Skywalker feels earned. It feels organic. It feels right. This is the bookend the Skywalker story deserved, not the rushed, politic laden, ego trip we got.

Can’t Cheat Fate [7]

pairing: Steve Harrington/Female Reader, slight Jonathan Byers/Female Reader || Fake Dating! Au

series summary: It started with an innocent kiss shared with Steve Harrington at an 8th grade party, then years later you’re in a fight with your best friend and long time crush and in a fake relationship with the King of Hawkins High himself. What was it about that party that has your junior year this insane?

warnings: || word count: 3.1k+

<- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter -> *

***

You never thought you’d ever kiss Steve Harrington for a second time in your life, then again you never really thought you’d agree to be in a fake relationship with him either...like at all. And here you were, standing at the bottom of the bleachers, practically surrounded by the entire school kissing the guy.

It was pretty much silent all around you when Steve kissed you. You were frozen in your spot, not expecting it. But damn you still felt those butterflies, those damn butterflies.

What have I agreed to? You asked yourself.

People were staring, eyes widen at the sight of Steve Harrington kissing you.

Seconds passed when Steve leaned away, still keeping his hand on your cheek, mirroring your guys first kiss. You looked up at him, seeing his brown eyes nearly beaming. He released your cheek, and then took your hand in his.

“Wh-where are we going?” you asked when he began to walk away, not even telling his friends he was leaving. They just watched with their shocked looks as Steve pulled you along with him.

“Just come on, we need to talk more,” he said quietly to you, you simply let him take you away from the football field, away from the eyes of -well the entire school. They seemed to disperse, making a pathway for you and Steve to get passed.

You couldn’t imagine what people were saying, you could hear them murmuring, their whispers, and it made you want to tell Steve you were only joking and then go home- probably switch schools. You didn’t know, but thankfully it only lasted a minute or so before you and Steve were alone.

He took you to the empty, in door swimming pool, the only light that came in was from the windows near the ceiling and the light of the pool. You both were sitting together on the small bleachers, Steve sitting in a seat lower than you and leaning back.

“You’re okay with this right?” Steve asked you, looking up at you. You bit your lip, but nodded quickly.

“Yeah I wouldn’t of told you I was okay with it if I wasn’t,” you replied, Steve stared at you for a moment or two, still searching for any kind of deceit or you rethinking your offer.

“Okay, I believe you, but if you decide later on that you don’t want to do it anymore, then that’s okay too,” he said, you nodded, “Just- thank you for doing this, I mean it- I know when I proposed it, I sounded like a complete weirdo . I felt like an idiot for just straight up asking you without even telling you and-”

You smiled softly, and raised your hand to stop him, “No, well yeah you did sound like a weirdo and the way you asked me was just out of no where- but...you know it doesn’t sound like it’d be too horrible...” Steve chuckled.

“So, does this mean you actually believe Jonathan likes you?” he grinned. That made you cringe gently, but quickly stopped yourself and shrugged while you nodded.

“Yeah, kind of…” you lied, “But like I said, I don’t know if I don’t try.” You didn’t know you were too embarrassed to tell Steve the truth, that you literally could care less if he liked you or not, you just wanted to do this. Steve put a thumbs up and smiled. You both just sat there, smiling at one another for a second when Steve suddenly piped up and claimed, “Okay! So! I think we need to come up with our love story.” You tilted your head.

“Our love story?” you questioned, Steve looked up at you and nodded.

“Yeah! How we came to having feelings for each other, how we decided to date ya know- people aren’t going to believe we just up and dated each other in one day,” Steve explained, you nodded in sudden agreement, “So...any ideas?”

“You have to give me time to think,” you replied, resting your chin on your hand and tearing your eyes away from him to look at the pool in thought. Steve, after perhaps a second of thinking, snapped his fingers

“So- let’s start out with middle school, when we first met,” he began, “We started to grow feelings for each other, then- uh Tina’s party!” he snapped and pointed at you, “Those feelings start to come to the surface! But we still didn’t act upon them because you know we were only 13, young and confused.”

You didn’t even hide the very confused expression on your face as he continued, “So we don’t date! Not yet! But then last summer came along, we grow closer as friends, and then- then this year, being together all the time writing essays- we realized that we do have feelings for eachother. And bam! We’re now a couple!” He finished with a winning grin on his lips while you stared at him nearly gaping by how oddly specific and especially how long that was, “What do you think?”

What did you think? Oh boy... there was a lot to it Harrington. You rubbed your eye, and shrugged, not knowing where to even start.

“I mean- it’s great, but it’s way too much to remember, why can’t we keep it simple, like we just randomly grew feelings for each other during our essay sessions? And you just asked me?” you suggested, Steve frowned and shot you a look, you shrunk in your spot, and shook your head, “Also! Weren’t you with Nancy last summer? I thought this was supposed to be getting Nancy jealous, it would be obvious.” You began to pick holes in his wild story, but Steve shook his head as if he didn’t know what you were talking.

“No- I wasn’t talking about last summer, I was talking about last-last summer,” he said, you raised a brow, “You know with the cherry snow cones and stuff.” That took you a moment to figure out what he was talking about, but when you did- you couldn’t help but wonder how on earth he even remembered that.

It was 2 summers ago, the summer before Sophomore year, and he summer Steve and Tina broke up, not that you had been paying attention. You were working the Snow Cone stand at the Fourth of July fair, your first summer job. Steve kept coming to you in the snow cone stand a lot, asking for a cherry snow cone, and claimed that you were doing something to them that kept him coming back.

It was the first time you and Steve had talked, where your friendship first rekindled.

“With that summer, with the party,” you felt your stomach flip, both you knowing what you were talking about but then actually saying it (even though he literally just kissed you again), “You want to go that far back?”

“Well why not?” he shrugged.

“I don’t know- it just seems a little unrealistic, let’s just keep it simple.” Steve crossed his arms and looked forward.

“Well if you want to be less romantic then sure let’s go with yours, but mine sounds like a good love story, a believable, realistic one too because all elements of it are true,” he explained in a nonchalant tone. Your eyes widened slightly, wondering what the hell he meant by it being true. Steve seemed to realize what he said, and he quickly looked up at you, cheeks suddenly tinted pink, “Um- for the most part it’s true.”

You laughed nervously, and shook your head, “Let’s just keep it simple, besides I think they both are romantic in their own way.” Steve scoffed slightly, his cheeks still pink, “Are we in an agreement or…”

“Yeah yeah, we grew feelings for each other during our essay sessions, and I just asked you out...the lamest love story in all history but-”

“Is it that important to you for it to be a cheesy, romantic story?” you were extremely amused by his attitude right now, finding it absolutely hilarious and dare you say cute that he was bothered by how you guys came to date being romantic or not.

“No.”

You couldn’t suppress the smile on your lips, “Steve.”

“What?”

“We’re just fake-dating, we don’t have to have some amazing love story, it’ll make it look even weirder and actually fake- simple is better.” Steve didn’t look too excited about it, but you thought maybe you’d give him time to think about it more from your own perspective. Also, it would be too much to remember and what if the story just got all jumbled? It would be a rookie mistake, considering you and Steve are both rookies in the fake-dating world.

You had to laugh inwardly, wondering how suddenly you’re trying to become an expert in lying about dating.

“Sleep on it over the weekend, and we’ll talk about it again,” you flicked his shoulder, and he tried to glare at you, but failed completely, for a smile took over his lips once more.

“Sounds good-” he sucked in a breath, “I can’t believe we’re actually doing this, how crazy is this? Monday- everyone’s going to stare at us, going to ask questions.” You suddenly felt your stomach churn at the mentioning of everyone else. It was easy to be Steve’s friend behind closed doors, to talk to him, but now you’ll be on display to the entire school, an official couple. You felt sick to your stomach, not that it had anything to do with Steve. Just all that attention, yikes.

Steve suddenly rested his hand on your knee, a gesture you were beginning to recognize, “Hey- don’t even worry that much about it.”

“I’m not,” you lied as you stared at his hand then at him, and he scoffed.

“Yeah okay- it’s literally written all over your face. You make this,” he tried to mimic your expression, scrunching his nose up in distaste, “face, I see it all the time. It’s going to be okay, it’s actually going to be great!” You honestly didn’t expect Steve to know you that well, because yeah you did make that face a lot when you were worried.

“I know, just I’ve never been in a relationship...and you’re over here coming up with this grand love story, should we go with yours?” Steve shook his head, and squeezed your knee softly.

“No- yours is good, I was just being a baby, sometimes simple can be more romantic- and thankfully you got yourself a fake boyfriend who has been in relationships before- just follow my lead, you’ll do great,” Steve tried to comfort you, to ease your anxiety. It did work, slightly. Steve now pat your knee, and rested his hand back to his side.

You looked over the time, the adrenaline you once had that gave you the confidence to approach Steve suddenly running low. You were tired again, and Steve was more than happy to drive you home. As you two began to walk to the now empty parking lot, everyone was already gathered in the football field you asked, “So um- what happened that made you come up with this whole thing?”

You could see him suddenly tense up, and your curiosity peaked.

“Ya know- you did. Thought a lot about what you said, and just...came up with it,” his cheeks were dusted with pink again, telling you he wasn’t telling you something. You wanted to make a ‘hey I’m your girlfriend, you need to be honest with me’ but decided against it. He’ll tell you when he’s ready, or he won’t tell you at all.

The distant sound of the marching band playing took your attention of it for a moment, glancing over at the lit up Hawkins High Football Stadium. Everyone there would’ve heard by now, given that Steve kissed you in front of everyone. You didn’t want to imagine that you and Steve dating was much more important than the first game of the season. But something told you it was.

But- he kissed you, in front of everyone. If anyone was serious about this, it was him. For a moment you were back to being that blissful, shy 13 year old when he’d try to talk to you again in Mrs. Glenn’s 8th grade life science class afterwards. Did he just have that effect on people or? You blushed as you inched closer to the car, thankfully Steve wasn’t looking at you and instead digging for his keys in his jean pockets.

You thought that you didn’t really want him to do that anymore.

“Hey uh-” you said casually as he unlocked the car door, “Do you think we should also have some kind of rules? Or something?” you asked, reaching for the car door. Steve suddenly reached over, and lightly slapped your hand. You squeaked out of surprise, pulling your hand back.

“First rule is you no longer get to open doors of any kind when I’m with you,” he opened the car door for you as you raised a brow, he grinned, “As your boyfriend, it's my duty to make sure you don’t ever touch a door handle, or the back of any chairs. Now could you please get in? I can’t get in until you do.” He pointed into the front seat, and you huffed out of feign annoyance.

“I guess?” you said as you got into the car. He shut the door gently, and practically hopped over the hood of the car to climb into the driver's seat. As he did so, you pulled out a pen and opened your binder to a fresh sheet of paper, writing down “Rules” on the top margin and then beginning to write the words “No touching doors or chairs”. Steve raised a brow, and chuckled, “What?”

“You’re going to write it down?”

“Yeah, think of it as like a contract or something," you shrugged as you finished writing the "s" on "chairs". Steve looked over.

“What if- I don’t know you misplace it, and someone finds it?”

“We’ll keep the rules simple then, plus it’s not ever going to leave my room? Worst case scenario my first grader brothers find it, they won’t even know what it means,” you replied, “Now, any rules you want to go over now?” you asked, tapping the pen against the side of your binder. Steve hummed.

“Not at the moment.”

You quickly began to write something down, and as Steve was beginning to leave the parking lot he glanced over and asked what you were writing.

“Just the basic, no telling anyone, which you know, obvious…” to be honest you couldn’t think of anymore rules at the moment either, when you remembered why you even thought about making rules, “Oh yeah! Don’t like- kiss me at random moments!”

“Really? That's-”

“I don’t mind kissing you, really,” you blushed, “Just not by surprise anymore! If the situation says for a kiss, like I guess what just happened,” you gestured behind you to the suddenly far away football field, “Then yeah, but like no randomly in the halls, and like-” you make a weird hand gesture around. Steve huffed.

“Fine, fine- but what the hell am I supposed to do? If we don’t kiss at all, then this relationship isn’t going to look real,” he said, you shrugged as you began to write.

“You’ll figure something out, Mr. I’ve been in a relationship before,” you teased, Steve scoffed, but a small, amused smile was on his lips regardless. You looked down at your paper, feeling as if you were forgetting something. Suddenly, you gasped and would've sprung to your feet if you haven't been wearing a seat belt.

“Steve! My bike!” you cried, putting your hands on the window as you try to look back to the quickly disappearing Hawkins High behind you. Steve cursed, quickly stopping his car and looking around to see if he’s good to make an incredibly illegal u-turn.

“Okay- there will be no more of this bike business either,” Steve said as he did so, you looked over to him with a blank look, “From now on, I’m picking you up everyday and taking you home everyday.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, it’s now a rule, put it down!” he gestured to the sheet of paper, but you hesitated because didn’t he stay like an hour after school everyday. That wasn’t fair to you! You wanted to go home!

“No deal! I like to go home after school! I don’t want to stick around waiting for your practice to be over!” he pulled back into the Hawkins high parking lot, the football game still going on and probably inching towards halftime.

Steve sighed, “Fine, that’s fair. How about I take you to the school, and on the days we don’t have an essay workshop, which is only like what? Three days? We’ll stash your bike back there?” He suggested, you tapped your fingers on her lap and thought about it.

“Okay, that’s better,” you agreed and began to write it down, making it an official rule.

“Great! Now stay here,” he stopped right in front of the bike rack where there was a row of bikes, you for a second had to figure out which one was yours, “I’ll go get it.” You were going to ask if he even knew what bike was yours, but he already knew without even having to stop and figure it out.

Next thing you knew, he was putting your bike in the backseat, then you were finally on your way home. On the way, you touched up on a few more details about the rules, when you eventually made it home, you were about to get out of the car- but Steve stopped you.

You rolled your eyes, “Starts Monday, okay, stay in the car! Besides no one from school is here to see you be a boyfriend so…” you were about to open the car door but Steve quickly hopped out of the car first. You watched amused as he jogged to your side and opened up the car door.

"Practice makes perfect," he winked, leaning on the door. You stared at him, then climbed out as you shook your head. Steve gave you a thumbs up, "Getting the hang of it already." You simply got your bike, and stopped Steve when he tried to help.

"I got it, Steve," you said as you got it out easily and set down next to your feet. Steve gave you a thumbs up and then crossed his arms, getting out of your way and he leaned on the side of his car, you took a deep breath and looked at Steve, your suddenly fake boyfriend.

"Well...see you Monday Steve, first thing in the morning," you said, too awkward for your liking. Steve grinned and nodded, seeming to not notice the awkward tone in your voice.

"First thing in the morning," he repeated, "Be ready because- Mondays awaits!" he called as you were making your escape to your front porch. You winced softly.

Yeah, Monday definitely awaits. You still had no clue what the hell you just got yourself into.

Survey #242

“i don’t miss you, i miss the misery.”

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Hm... three or four? Any other names your parents planned to give you? The only one I *think* I remember is Katelyn. Thank fuck I dodged that bullet. Which is the most beautiful place you know? The mountains between NC and TN, if I remember correctly. I was very young. What do you work with? I don't work period & I hate it. Have you ever hit an animal with your car? Thank Christ no. Favorite ride at the amusement park? I guess ferris wheels. Favorite beauty essential in your bathroom cabinet? I don't have a "favorite" considering I don't use any regularly. Do you have many followers on your Tumblr? Nah. Do you tan easily? I burn like toast, man. Are you expecting something in the mail? No. Do you inspire others? Idk. What do you collect? Meerkat stuff and Silent Hill merch. Do you like cats? Hell yes!!! Are you healthy? If you excuse my weight and muscle atrophy, I'm actually pretty healthy, according to a billion tests I've gotten done when trying to discover *why* I had such awful pain in my legs. Have you ever been out of state? Yeah. Can you always blame your acts on that you were just too drunk? Fuck no. Three things you try to avoid as much as possible: Well dying lmao, getting hurt, public speaking. How many times have you been overseas? Zero. Do you use to have someone in mind when shopping for underwear? Wait what the fuck- What accent do you have? I don't really have one, although I do have a southern tone with some words sometimes I suppose. I also do say things like "y'all" or "fixing to (do something)," so I use some Southern terminology. Where would you like to live? The mountains of western NC. Sigh. Do you follow fashion? No. Do you have a big butt? Ever heard of Hank Hill Ass Syndrome? I have Hank Hill Ass Syndrome. Your worst job nightmare is: Customer service EVER again. Who’s the coolest rapper in the world? Idk and idc. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? I mean yeah, I think anniversaries are worth celebration. Healthy relationships aren't always easy to maintain; to remain in love takes forgiveness, loyalty, dedication... all that. It shouldn't be hard, but it takes effort. Have you graduated? High school, anyway. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga, definitely. Do you use fake eyelashes? No. What’s your worst interior design nightmare: I dunno. Probably just being very crammed? What makeup brands do you use? I don't have any particular ones; I don't wear makeup enough. What’s the worst kind of rejection you could give someone? I genuinely feel it to be how Jason did so with me. Three and a half years in a very serious relationship, and he out of the blue breaks up with me over Facebook because my depression became "too much." Like by NOW I understand I can't shame him for wanting to be happy, but the way he did it was fucking cruel and tore me apart. Like especially when this person was your refuge from daily pain and pretty much your god and future (never make someone that, holy holy HOLY shit don't), that individual just suddenly having enough and breaking contact off like that was emotional murder. Do you have a crush on someone right now? Well yeah, but it's like... a "tamed" one? Is that an accurate word? Like I understand it just can't work right now, but it doesn't stop me from liking her. Is there anyone that many people think is hot, but you don’t? I'm sure there's someone. Do you sort and organize your clothes in some kind of way? Sorta. When somebody intimidates you, how do you usually act around them? Nervous, skittish, more awkward than usual. Is your favorite singer in a band or does he or she ride solo? Brendon Urie is in P!atD and Patrick Stump is in Fall Out Boy. Freddie Mercury was the vocalist of Queen. Did your parents ever hang your old artwork up on the walls? Yeah, Mom still has some up lmao. How often do you wear chapstick? Only when my lips are actually chapped. Do you walk around your house with your shoes on or do you take them off? Definitely off. What is the weirdest obsession you’ve ever had? Collecting stickers, maybe? How many of the seven deadly sins have you fulfilled today? Sloth is on the daily lmao, gluttony, and lust. Should guys always kiss the girl on a first date? Not always, of course not. It depends on the comfort level, and I would ALWAYS ask first. Which band has the corniest music videos? Corniest lyrics? I don't really watch music videos, and idk about lyrics. What subject is/was hardest for you in school? Math. Have any songs ever inspired you to play an instrument? No. Do you ever use Pandora? No. Are you better with creative writing or writing essays? I think I'm good at both, but I probably excel in creative writing. When was the last time you were rick rolled? No clue. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever seen as a pet? Seen, I guess a chinchilla, though that's not really "weird." If you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes? Eyes. When was the last time you had a ‘she-mergency’? I had to look this up to be certain what that even was lmao. Probably some time I started my period at school and had to use folded toilet paper or something for a while. Which sounds creepier: sleeping in the attic or the basement? I'd say it depends on the make-up of each and its cleanliness. What was your favorite computer game as a kid? I think it was called The Amazon Trail 3? It was a damaged disc however, so it froze a lot. I think I only finished it once or twice; even knowing it would likely crash, I just liked playing it as far as I could. Have you ever tried on your mom’s wedding ring? No. Any shows on TV that you flat out refuse to start watching? 13 Reasons Why, to name perhaps the #1. What is your opinion on fruitcake? NO. Here’s a tough one. Would you rather marry your cousin or a dog? Oh fuck off, neither. Who did you last dream about? I can't remember what it was about, but I know Mark was in it lmao. Do you have trouble remembering important things? Sometimes. My memory is atrocious. Which animal can you imitate the best? Audibly? Probably a cat. Which is harder - walking in the snow or sand? Sand. I FUCKING hate walking through sand. It's one reason I don't like the beach. Do you like sour candy? oml YES. If anyone, who did you sit with at lunch today? N/A Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what and how? Not anything I can remember. Are you a clumsy person? You have no idea. How about disorganized? I'm oddly split down the middle. Last male you talked to in person? My dad. Have you ever had a sunburn? Oh boy, I've gotten past that. Try sun poisoning. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? PINK! Chocolate or strawberry milk? Oh boy, chocolate. I tried strawberry as a child and absolutely loathed it beyond words known to man, and I will not be giving it a second chance. I remember it pristinely. Disgusting. What volume is the ringer on your phone? It's on vibrate. Have you ever won a contest on the radio? No. Do you often write on yourself? I never do, 'less we're talking about tattoos lol. Is there writing on the shirt you are currently wearing? No. Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I hate the latter, so I guess frosted flakes, though I don't really remember how they taste. Do mushrooms really add flavor to food? I hate them, so they obviously have enough flavor for me to notice them... What about onions? Yes. Are you a fan of Thai food? I've actually never had Thai food. How about Indian food? Same as above. Have you ever tried sushi? No. In your opinion, who would be the best president? I don't know. What was the last thing you spent more than $20 on? I have no ide- oh wait I paid for Teddy's surgery with... money I don't know from whence it came? Was it financial aid money? Idr. Do you wear actual designated ‘pajamas’ to bed? Pj pants and a tank top. When was the last time you were tempted to do something you’d later regret? Probably take a nap late in the day, ending in me being unable to sleep well at night. Thankfully, I decided against it. Have you ever had feelings for your best friend’s significant other? Yes. Well, not current best friend, but a former one. How many times did you ride in a car today? Zero. Are you comfortable in your own skin? Fuck no. What's absolutely splendid is even when/if I lose the weight I aim to, I'm going to have loose skin that literally might make me hate my body more until I without argument muster up the money to get it surgically removed. Are you in a good mood right now? I'm alright. When was the last time you had an ice cream cone? Been quite a while. Did you eat breakfast this morning? Yeah, had some cereal. Have you ever been in a cemetery at midnight? No. Do you live on your own? No. I don't even think I could tolerate living alone because of my depression and how loneliness can severely trigger it. I'm realistically probably not moving out until it'll be with an s/o. If not, who do you live with? I live with my mom, my sister's dog, and my cat and snake. How old are your siblings, if you have any? I have a lot, and I don't know the ages of all of them, only my two immediate sisters: 26 and 21. Have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend? No. Have you donated blood in the last 2 years? No. What was the last free t-shirt you received from? School. Is there anything you are looking forward to at the moment? February 4th, baby. Tattoo gets fixed up by an artist I like far more. Him not having an open booking until then should say enough. Are you an atheist? No. Are you Asian? No. Are you fluent in another language? No. Are you in the military? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Are you an artist? Not professional, but I enjoy making art. Are you a musician? No. Are you an athlete? Oh, hunny- Do you have a favorite flower? I really like orchids. Where was the last place you went that was more than an hour away? Great question... The trip to my therapist is about an hour, but not over. Why were you going there? For therapy. Who was the last person to tell you you looked nice? Probably Mom, idk. Have you ever been to a nude beach? Hell no, I wouldn't even if I was in great shape. How many websites do you have an account for? WHEW I have no idea, A LOT over all the years. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Well, WoW is an online game, so a subscription, though because I obviously don't have my own money, I'm sadly rich enough in the game to use monthly tokens. Do you try clothes on before you buy them? Not always. I try to avoid it because I just hate doing it. What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? Well I obviously don't know how I'd react on impulse, but I'd imagine myself locking my door and then climbing out the window. Then run like a motherfucker up the road some to a neighbor's, or hide in the nearby woods and call Mom. What’s your favorite type of pizza? Meat lovers sobs in wannabe-vegetarian. Have you ever been afraid of falling in love? Yes, very. Who’d you last see in a tux? I don't know. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No. Do you have difficulty pronouncing any words? Yeah, particularly "breakfast." I tend to put a "t" after the "k." Do you have your own computer? Yeah. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mom. Who’s the bravest person you know? Oh man, that's hard. I know a lot of brave people. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? More than anyone in the world, Mom. Have your friends ever given you answers to homework, last minute? Yeah. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? No. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? By this point in time, I consider how I spoke to Jason before going to the ER multiple times absolutely terrible, and yes, it did take a very long time for me to realize just how cruel it was. Now it's fucking HARD to accept I ever said what I did. Have you ever read Shakespeare? Yes. Can anyone really change anyone that doesn’t wanna change? Nope. Do you think that anyone currently has a crush on you? I would assume Sara still does, but again, we know a relationship between us just isn't wise right now. What profession do you admire the most? The most? Man, that's hard to decide. Probably those that risk their lives for others, like firefighters, cops (yes, I am aware some abuse their power, but good cops deserve all the respect in the world), etc. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? I don't believe so, no. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve ever had to learn? Bad things happen to good people and no, the universe does not care. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Well obviously.

“the final battle” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

Ah Once, what am I going to do with you?

I mean, this episode was definitely an Experience™, that much is certain. Just… ::sighs::

Look, if I try to sum it up, I think the best I can do is “this was twenty minutes of a really good finale stuck inside a rushed ninety-minute wtf-fest. Also, those twenty minutes belong to a totally different season.

this is the sort of thing you’ve got to foreshadow at least a LITTLE

The acting was pretty damn good, though.

(Fair warning: don’t open this on mobile, there’s a ridiculous amount of pictures under the cut)

OK. So. Couple of things that I really liked up front, so I can gripe in peace later on. (And readers can skip whatever part they wish ; )

First, and I realise this is a weird thing to enjoy, but I loved how utterly despicable I found Fiona in this one. She may have hung around like a bad smell for most of the season without really doing much, but she sure stepped up her game for the occasion.

Seriously, if Rumple hadn’t killed her, I would have found a way. “Our son”, indeed.

Though, please, have some pity on the poor guy. At this point, he has killed both his parents, and one of them twice. That can’t be good for anyone.

oh look the wall robots are still there

And speaking of Rumple… dang, that was a good scene in the mines. What I loved most about it was that this was literally all him. Nobody would ever know what he did in there if he didn’t tell them, except for himself, and he still made the right choice. Despite being offered everything he ever wanted, despite being under the influence of his curse just as much as ever…

before you ask, yes, my mind did go Places

…and more literally than it’s usually shown. Well done, pal. I should probably be more excited about this, but despite the tense buildup, I feel like the scene kind of fizzled as a whole. Maybe because he already made the exact same choice earlier, and was just confirming that he really meant it, too. Still, it was a good moment, and I was very proud of this walking human disaster by the time it was done.

Some more on the topic of Rumple: congratulations on his acting skills. Rumple’s, not Robert Carlyle’s, specifically. Because there’s no way in hell I could have seen these photos…

…and kept a straight face. Honestly, I’m half convinced that they were a test by Fiona to see if he was awake after all.

Oh, and the book!

The book made it across! And you know why? Because Belle and her son have True Love, even if Gideon cannot remember that, because Fiona is The Worst. And Rumple worked so hard to make Gideon remember; it was heartbreaking to see. I mean, he had to do that for… what? Five hours? And he still couldn’t stand the thought that Gideon might believe his mother didn’t love him. It was a good scene, OK?

On a sillier note (but still unambiguously positive): Emma’s wardrobe came back for the finale!

I don’t know, it’s just nice to see.

Other things I loved a lot:

Any and all interactions between Regina and her now-settled other half. Just. Pure joy, even in the midst of the wtf-ery. And with the obvious standout-moment when the Queen goes and sacrifices herself to give the others that tiny bit of time they need to get back to their world and help Henry (and Emma, but I think we all know who the priority was in this case)

Just… damn. I’m still worried about this woman’s self-destructive streak in general, but this was a good moment. (It also helps that she got better. ‘cause that could have been really depressing otherwise.)

Oh, and since we’re speaking of Regina (or the Reginas, plural), I absolutely adored the speech she gave Emma. Just… I mean, I expect the hope speeches from Snow (and that one was pretty good, too), but this? I mean… wow. Please compare and contrast with season 1. Except you don’t have to, because Regina already did that, and it was beautiful.

Then we have an actual mirrored TLK (see below for a botched version…) in this very good moment:

Like, yes, I love bookends, and this was a great one. Calling back to the “holy crap why didn’t I see this coming” kiss in s1 worked surprisingly well, considering how little interaction Emma and Henry had this season, but there’s enough material in the show in general to make me buy into this. Like I said: sucker for bookends.

In general, I feel like this episode was at its strongest whenever re-focused on the family relationships between the characters.

And to close it out, the ending montage.

Just... it’s like Snow said. They get to live their happy endings now. Snowing finally have the time to be a proper family (and David got a dog!). Regina is accepted and loved by her people (and the Queen gets to have a completely “new adventure”, as Robin so aptly put it.) Snow can do what she loves and doesn’t have to fight all the time anymore. And Emma finally has a place in the world; one where she can settle and be comfortable and doesn’t have to be alone anymore... and I’ll just leave it at that. It’s a good ending.

And no, I haven’t forgotten it--obvious special mention to this bit here:

Yup. Killed me dead. And I died happy, thank you very much. They’ve been through so much bullshit, and now they can be together, and raise their son in peace, and won’t be really worried when he doesn’t stop growing, either.

I also want to give a special shoutout to the five six people who immediately made sure that I knew that 1) the kiss wasn’t scripted and 2) we, as a fandom, are extremely lucky to have Robert and Emilie. (For those who haven’t seen the interview in question, it’s here, and here)

The finishing dinner was nice, too, even if I’m not sure what the whole Last Supper imagery was supposed to do.

Listen, I’ve been going “just let them be happy!” for way too long to complain much when they finally are. Also, I could write an essay on the range of emotions Rumple goes through when he comes through that door and people are actually happy to see him and his family. Or about that look that passes between him and Regina, because I caught that and it made me cry! I don’t think either of them ever imagined they would really be this happy again when they first met and they’ve been through so much crap and just... guh. I like this. It’s a good closing shot.

And now, the rest.

Because frankly, this wasn’t a great finale. It wasn’t even that good of an episode. It was everything wrong with the 4B finale, only more of that.

For example: What was the deal with making Emma lose her belief? Since when was her belief required for the magical realms to exist? The only person who’s ever had even something approaching that function was Henry. She didn’t need to believe in magic to keep it alive, she needed it to break the curse.

And this was never set up as the Black Fairy’s plan. Not even a little. This came so out of left field, it wasn’t even in the same stadium! And it’s so frustrating, because this wasn’t a bad plot, as such, but there was no build-up, no real payoff, nothing. Or, let me put it differently: this was a perfectly fine plot resolution, it just had no business being attached to this season.

Everything felt rushed, there were about five dozen plot points, none of them with any time to breathe and somehow, we still got that terminally boring climb up the bean stalk.Sorry, David, you know I love you, but what was the point of that sidetrack? Nothing happened. There was no try-and-fail cycle (because there wasn’t time for one) and honestly, if you needed a handwave for how they got back from the magical realms, maybe you could have gone with a less time intensive one?

And that moment where Snow kisses David back to life? Yeah, unearned, again. And dear show: the cut-in from the first episode worked for the split-heart curse, because you were subverting it. But here? It just didn’t do anything. This wasn’t a parallel. David wasn’t cursed, he was crushed by a beanstalk.

And speaking of things that don’t make sense…

For the love of fuck. Her ankle? Really? This is such a cliché that even the slasher genre doesn’t do it anymore. And it’s a dumb cliché, too. It’s rooted sexism and it makes it look like you didn’t have any other ideas. I get it, you don’t want Belle with Rumple at that final point so she doesn’t influence his decision. Here’s a thought, then: let her stay behind for a good reason! Or, hell, if you don’t want to write a scene for her (the writers sure seem to be allergic to giving Belle any screentime), let there be a fork in the road! They don’t have the time to check each one, let Belle go one way and Rumple another. It’s still a lazy plot excuse, but at least it’s not the stupidest cliché in the book.

And one more thing…

::sigh:: I have such mixed feelings about this?

Because on the one hand: Gideon had a life that nobody would want. He was kidnapped, imprisoned, kept in the dark and abused for all of his twenty-eight years, and even if he got free, he would never get that time back. Nobody would ever choose that for themselves.

At the same time… Gideon died. The person I got to know over the last half-season is no more. He’s gone. And he never had any say in the matter. Hell, he didn’t even get to say goodbye. It’ just such a messed-up way to get a wonderful thing.

(Also, while I’m on that topic… yes, I did notice that Rumple didn’t recognise his very tiny son at first, and I realise that it’s because he’s never seen him before. It prompted a particularly long “oh noo…”, too.)

And finally…

… that cliffhanger/teaser, though, huh?

I have so many questions. Why was Henry in that monster forest? Why is he now in an apartment and doesn’t remember his daughter? When did he get a daughter? (Also, who with? Enquiring minds would like to know.)

So. I know, like, three things about s7, and one of them is the cast list. Please try not to spoil anything else, because that’s already way more than I wanted to know going in. Seriously, I’m a reasonably grown adult. I can deal with a couple of surprises.

A Buffy rewatch 3x16 Doppelgängland

aka evil skanky and kinda gay

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and rant about it in 10-3k words. What you can expect: long run-on sentences and disjointed observations, often focused on one tiny detail about the episode. What you shouldn’t be expecting: actual reviews that make sense.

And if today’s episode doesn’t make you laugh out loud uncomfortably at least 5 times during each rewatch... then you’re probably Vamp!Willow, and that’s cool. You do you. Literally, I guess.

During my rant for The Wish, I already confessed that that episode used to be pretty high up on my personal list. I’m aware however, that most people prefer Doppelgangland to that fun AU apocalypse scenario... and I get it. I really do, especially these days.

On the other hand, it’s also tough to make comparisons. It’s a different tone, different vibe and offers different things for the show’s general storyline and lore, despite using the same alternate universe as a jumping point. The Wish is a dark and gloomy exploration of the hell we make for ourselves once we lose hope in a better world. Doppelgangland is a non-stop fun ride that’s a major milestone and has many future implications for Willow’s character arc.

But let’s start at the beginning-ish, with an unfairly neglected segment of these rants that I like to call Out of Context Wuffy.

Willow:  How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort of naturally buff, Buff? *giggles* Buff buff.

(If that’s not the official ship name, I will make it so, if it’s the last thing I do on this site.)

Willow then talks about how the whole pencil floating she does requires emotional control... and then when she’s like “Oh, I’m totally fine with us talking about Faith”, the pencil starts twirling like crazy like some supernatural lie detector.

But there’ll be plenty of opportunity to discuss Willow’s feelings on Faith a couple of eps from now.

Faith herself is presently bonding with the Mayor, but she also goes out of her way to touch Buffy’s shoulder in a scene beforehand???

There really is no heterosexual explanation for this. Like, I literally can’t explain how Faith acts with Buffy in any other way. We just have to accept that Faith is in love with Buffy as part of the text rather than just subtext, and move on from there.

Oz:  I'd call that a radical interpretation of the text.

Shut up, Joss, I’m right and you know it.

But this episode is still very much a Willow episode, so I should probably talk Willow. Which, as you may know, I’m prone to do a lot anyway.

The problem that I’m kind of running into is that I find it hard to talk about the subtle effects and shifts this episode starts or shines a light on in Willow’s character without seeing that arc folding out first. Like, I know where we’re going, and I could talk about that part I guess, but I’m more interested in re-experiencing and paying more attention to the steps that take us there.

Something that this episode calls out for instance, is how Willow feels like she’s The Doormat, even in their own friend group. The person that gets bullied to do other peoples work for them, someone they rely on to be there and do what they ask of her.

This, while coincides with Willow’s desire for validation, runs counter to her need to feel special. So when Anya asks if she wants to do a spell with her, there’s absolutely no hesitation on her part. Finally, she gets to do something that sets her apart!

But then Evil!Willow appears, and that represents a whole new can of worms to Willow... On the plus side, one of those is the fact that she’s not afraid to want or ask things for herself. And that’s a lesson that our Willow will certainly take away from this encounter I think.

I particularly like the ending scene, where the jock Willow was supposed to tutor, and who tried to get her to write his whole essay for him, shows up after his encounter with Vamp!Willow. And he’s actually done all the work. Thoroughly. Twice. And even gives his apple to Willow.

It’s a rare occasion where we see Willow actually having the power in an encounter or relationship like that. At least it’s been rare up until this point.

That’s sort of the fun of Vamp!Willow here. She may not be our Willow exactly, and she may be an evil creepy vampire (as all vampires are), but she still makes Willow consider new possibilities... As well as perhaps confront some facets of her character that she ignored in the past.

Willow:  That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and... skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay. Buffy:  Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was. Angel:  Well, actually...

And just look at that girl in the screencap above. She’s so gay for Vamp!Willow, it’s not even funny. No wonder she got the Moloch treatment of getting immediately killed by her evil gay crush. (Those wacky 90s, am I right?)

Let’s not forget though, that Vamp!Willow evidently also enjoys getting handsy with herself. Their shared scenes are essentially the embodiment of the “I don’t wanna have sex with my clone ‘cause what if my clone is evil” meme.

Meanwhile Anya gets introduced more, and I can’t wait to spend some more quality time with my favorite 1000-year-old demon child.

Arguably something else that can be said of this episode, is that it’s just all memorable lines all the time, from start to finish. So, much like with the previous episode, I can only advise you to give this episode in particular a rewatch. It’s very much worth it.

Press play on Doppelgangland you guys, watch order be damned!

"Literature can save a life. Just one life at a time."

Teju Cole on carrying and being carried. Translation, refugees, new words.

New York Books, July 5, 2019

A reproduction of a scene from an ancient Greek vase depicting the flight from Troy, with Aeneas carrying his father Anchises on his back, nineteenth century

The English word translation comes from the Middle English, which originates from the Anglo-French translater. That in turn descends from the Latin translatus: trans, across or over, and latus, which is the past participle of ferre, to carry, related to the English word “ferry.” The translator, then, is the ferry operator, carrying meaning from words on that shore to words on this shore.

Every work of translation carries a text into the literature of another language. Fortunate to have had my work translated into many languages, I am now present as an author in the literature of each of those languages. Dany Laferrière, in his 2008 novel I Am a Japanese Writer, expresses this slightly strange notion more beautifully than I can:

When, years later I myself became a writer and was asked, “Are you a Haitian writer, a Caribbean writer or a Francophone writer?” I would always answer that I took the nationality of my reader, which means that when a Japanese reader reads my books, I immediately became a Japanese writer.

Much is found in translation. There’s the extraordinary pleasure of having readers in languages I don’t know. But there’s also the way translation makes visible some new aspect of the original text, some influence I didn’t realize it had absorbed. When I think about the Italian translation of my work, I can feel the presence of Italo Calvino and Primo Levi, unnerved and delighted that I mysteriously now share their readership. When I’m translated into Turkish, it is Nâzım Hikmet’s political melancholy I think of. Maybe those who like his work will, reading me in Turkish, find something to like in mine as well? In German, perhaps even more than English, I sense the hovering presences of writers who shaped my sensibility—writers like Walter Benjamin, Thomas Mann, Hermann Broch, and W.G. Sebald, among many others. Thanks to translation, I become a German writer.

I trust my translators utterly. Their task is to take my work to a new cohort of my true readers, the same way translation makes me a true reader of Wisława Szymborska, even though I know no Polish, and of Svetlana Alexievich, even though I know no Russian.

Gioia Guerzoni, who has translated four of my books into Italian so far, has worked hard to bring my prose into a polished but idiomatic Italian. Recently, she was translating an essay of mine, “On the Blackness of the Panther,” which ranged on various matters, from race, the color black, and colonialism, to panthers, the history of zoos, and Rainer Maria Rilke. It wasn’t an easy text to translate. In particular, the word “blackness” in my title was a challenge. To translate that word, Gioia considered nerezza or negritudine, both of which suggest “negritude.” But neither quite evoked the layered effect that “blackness” had in my original title. She needed a word that was about race but also about the color black. The word she was looking for couldn’t be oscurità (“darkness”), which went too far in the optical direction, omitting racial connotations. So she invented a word: nerità. Thus, the title became: “La nerità della pantera.” It worked. The word was taken up in reviews, and even adopted by a dictionary. It was a word Italian needed, and it was a word the Italian language—the Italian of Dante and Morante and Ferrante—received through my translator.

Translation, after all, is literary analysis mixed with sympathy, a matter for the brain as well as the heart. My German translator, Christine Richter-Nilsson, and I discussed the epigraph to my novel Open City, the very first line in the book. It reads, in English, “Death is a perfection of the eye.” The literal translation, the one Google Translate might serve up, would be something like “Tod ist eine Perfektion des Auges.” But Christine sensed that this rendering would equate “death” with “perfection of the eye,” rather than understanding that death was being proposed as the route to a kind of visionary fullness. So she first thought of “Vollendung,” which describes a finished state of fullness; then she thought further, and landed on “Vervollkommnung.” Vervollkommnung is a noun that embeds the verb “kommen,” and with that verb, the idea that something is changing and coming into a state of perfection. That was the word she needed.

Christine also knew that what I was calling the eye in my epigraph was not a physical organ (“das Auge”), it was the faculty of vision itself. But I didn’t write “seeing,” so “des Sehens” would not quite have worked. In conversation with my German editor, she decided on something that evoked both the organ and its ability: der Blick. So, after careful consideration, her translation of “Death is a perfection of the eye” was “Der Tod ist eine Vervollkommnung des Blickes.” And that was just the first sentence.

A young woman from Bonn named Pia Klemp is currently facing a long-drawn-out legal battle in Italy. Klemp, a former marine biologist, is accused of rescuing people in the Mediterranean in 2017. If the case comes to trial, as seems likely, she and nine others in the humanitarian group she works with face enormous fines or even up to twenty years in prison for aiding illegal immigration. (Klemp’s plight is strikingly similar to that of another young German woman, Carola Rackete, who was arrested in Italy this week for captaining another rescue boat.) Klemp is unrepentant. She knows that the law is not the highest calling. As captain of a converted fishing boat named Iuventa, she had rescued endangered vessels carrying migrants that had been launched from Libya. The precious human lives were ferried over to the Italian island of Lampedusa. The question Klemp and her colleagues pose is this: Do we believe that the people on those endangered boats on the Mediterranean are human in precisely the same way we are human?

When I visited Sicily a couple of years ago and watched a boat of rescued people with bewildered faces come to shore, there was only one possible answer to that question. And yet we are surrounded by commentary that tempts us to answer it wrongly, or that makes us think our comfort and convenience are more important than human life.

Because Pia Klemp’s holy labor takes place on water, it reminds me of an earlier struggle. In 1943, the Danes received word that the Nazis planned to deport Danish Jews. And so, surreptitiously, at great personal risk, the fishermen of north Zealand began to ferry small groups of Danish Jews across to neutral Sweden. This went on, every day, for three weeks, until more than 7,000 people, the majority of Denmark’s Jewish population, had been taken to safety.

Currently in my own country, hundreds of people die on the border in the name of national security. Children are separated from their parents and thrown in cages. A few years ago, I visited No Más Muertes (No More Deaths), a humanitarian organization in Arizona that provides aid to travelers by leaving water, blankets, and canned food at strategic points in the Sonoran Desert. These are activities that the US government has declared illegal. The organization also conducts searches for missing migrants, and often locates the bodies of those who have died of hunger or thirst in the desert.

A young geographer named Scott Warren, working with No Más Muertes and other groups, has sought to help travelers cross safely. He provides water and, when possible, shelter. For this holy labor, Warren was arrested and charged last year with harboring migrants. Although the case against him recently ended in a mistrial, the US Attorney’s Office in Arizona is seeking a retrial. Warren is far from the only No Más Muertes volunteer to have been arrested as part of the government’s war on those who offer life-saving help to our fellow citizens.

Can we draw a link between the intricate and often modest work of writers and translators, and the bold and costly actions of people like Pia Klemp and Scott Warren? Is the work of literature connected to the risks some people undertake to save others? I believe so—because acts of language can themselves be acts of courage, just as both literature and activism alert us to the arbitrary and essentially conventional nature of borders. I think of Edwidge Danticat’s words in her book Create Dangerously:

Somewhere, if not now, then maybe years in the future, a future that we may have yet to dream of, someone may risk his or her life to read us. Somewhere, if not now, then maybe years in the future, we may also save someone’s life.

And I think of a friend of mine, a filmmaker and professor from Turkey who signed a letter in 2016 condemning the slaughter of Kurds by the Turkish state and calling for a cessation of violence. She was one of more than 1,100 signatories from universities and colleges in Turkey. In response, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan’s government initiated investigations of every Turkish signatory, accusing them all of terrorism. Most, my friend included, now face long trials and prison sentences. Many have been fired from their jobs or hounded by pro-government students. Some have already been jailed.

My friend and the other academics were carrying their fellow citizens. With the stroke of a pen, they attempted to carry them across the desert of indifference, over the waters of persecution. For this, they face consequences similar to those faced by Pia Klemp and Scott Warren: public disrepute, impoverishment, prison time. My friend finds herself in great danger for her stand, and so now it is her turn to be ferried to greater safety, because she did the right thing, and we must, too.

Ooo another one: Athena and to some extent, V

(For context, this is about this character Q&A challenge thing that I reblogged back when series 3 was airing!)

WOW OKAY so I was just thinking to myself that it was weird that I couldn’t remember what I’d written about V for this, because I wanted to compare if I still felt the same about her after the finale episode, and Lo and behold (haha, see what I did there) I find that I actually never finished answering, which is why I couldn’t remember what I’d said!

(I know, I know, reading that was tiring, but imagine having to BE me)

Looking back now it’s super unfortunate that I didn’t write the V section when this ask first came in, because it would have been an interesting comparison… but I think I was felled by not having much V content to go on, before 3.8, whereas now I can talk at much more length!

I had, however, finished the Athena section, so here you go, this is what I had already in the draft:

First, Athena:

• Do I like them? Yes, she’s a brilliant character!

• 5 good qualities: She’s SO SMART, oh my life, major brain crush. She uses her intelligence in a way she considers ‘pure’, despite the more lucrative options that are open to her, so she has a strong moral code in a climate ruled by selfish gain. She’s motivated by her love for her daughter, which defies all odds and succeeds in pioneering an entirely new scientific field - what an icon! She takes crap from exactly NOBODY and is sassy as hell in the process. And she’s willing to help Karen, for which she’ll always have a special place in my heart.

• 3 bad qualities: She wasn’t exactly quick to accept synth consciousness, umm, so she killed a bunch of them pretty callously. Like Ed, she was able to convince herself they weren’t really people long enough to serve her own purposes, so that’s… I’m less keen on that. Umm.. she can be a little brusque, I didn’t particularly like her scene with poor Helen Aveling, who was another lady in science trying her best! No need to put her down! I guess from a narrative perspective, I could say that Athena is a little superfluous, especially since she doesn’t seem to be coming back. We’ll count that! Lots of her harder, colder edges are due to her grief so I can’t really find it in me to pin them as ‘bad’. Have I mentioned, this show does amazingly with its characters, particularly its women?!

• Favourite episode: 2.8 was the goodbye to V, right? Ugh, heartbreaking.

• OTP: … this is kind of out of the blue but I could see her and Laura, mayhaps? Certainly there aren’t any human men left alive in the show who could hold a candle to her. Oh, but how interesting if she and Neil Sommer had dated in the past. Heh heh heh.

• BrOTP: Well, I’m so glad that she’s got Karen’s brain scans, so that she can recreate her perfectly and they can love and support one another!

• OT3: Athena & V & a weekly lunch date where V shows up on her tablet screen and checks in with what she’s been doing/how many synths she’s resurrected in her Mind Meadow.

• NOTP: Athena and her kind of boring husband, what was his name? One of those unisex names? I want it to begin with L? Oh well.

• Best quote: “Nothing really bad has ever happened to you, has it? Because when it does, you don’t need reminders about your insignificance to the universe.” I’m quoting from memory so it might not be the exact wording. Amazing line, anyway.

• Head canon: I like to think that Athena did, in fact, have something to do with Leo’s early treatment. I mean, Max isn’t even with him when it happens, so at some point the Elster sibs must have pooled resources and talked about what was going to happen with him. (They probably moped about their literal surgeon brother not being there too). Anyway, somehow they found Athena and she did some salvaging (having also recently practiced with Pete when she uploaded his consciousness, pending upload to a new body) and later handed over to Anatole. Basically my headcanon is that nobody has really died in this show since Athena and V were introduced. Athena knows how to save human minds and V can grab the synths. Sorted.

Now V! The only one I had previously answered was this:

• Do I like them? Yes, bless her digital cotton socks!

Although now I might slightly rephrase that in favour of:

•Do I like them? I think so! But in the words of George Millican, she worries me! Moving on to the rest of the questions…..

• 5 good qualities: She cares about others, and is benevolent towards the synths even though she is a separate species in and of herself, with a less defined concept of “them” and “us”. Where she can, she acts to relieve suffering (giving Odi the rest he wanted, even if we’d rather she hadn’t). She’s resourceful. She’s developing/has developed a strong sense of herself and her chosen role, which is lovely to see as growth since her confusion in series 2. Aaaand, she recognises Niska’s worth and potential (even if… well, see next part).

• 3 bad qualities: She’s not too bothered about Niska’s personal agency, and would rather focus on convincing her to carry out her will. Speaking of her will, she does seem to think her way and ONLY her way is the right way for both organic and synthetic humanity - and while she might be the best disposed to predict future events, having access to the entire world’s knowledge etc…. that still doesn’t make her Actually Omniscient, I’m sorry. Whatever she thinks. And for a third, hmm, maybe she was a little harsh to leave her mother all of a sudden, but for all we know they’re back in contact now?

• Favourite episode: whichever one it was in series 2 where she starts to piece together who she was but refers to Ginny as ‘she’ rather than ‘I’ - that was so powerful and chilling.

• OTP: I’ve never thought about an OTP for V, ha. Hmm, not in the romantic sense, but I think she and Niska COULD be a winning combination, if nothing goes to awry in s4, but I am on standby for Niska having to stand against her at some point and take her down in some epic, badass way. ALTERNATIVELY, can V make Q properly conscious, and we can see what on earth a ship between 2 non-corporeal AI characters looks like? Or rather, doesn’t look like?

• BrOTP: Supposing that V stays nice, I would like her and Astrid to bond about how much they value Niska, possibly for Astrid to give V a talking to about straight up manipulating her, but in general for them to team up in making sure Niska is taking care of herself during her difficult reign as Queen Indigo.

• OT3: Well, Niska and Astrid and V, I suppose, given my last two replies!

• NOTP: That creepy dude with eyes on his eyelids can stay far away from the Synth Who Sleeps that he’s so obsessed with, thank you!

• Best quote: Listen, I will NEVER not get chills about “Why did you ask me to lie to him?” Every time I hear that line, I am there in the auditorium watching the extended trailer for the first time and it’s just SOOOO GOOD.

• Head canon: ahem, okay, buckle up kiddos because this answer requires some backstory. So, since the age of like 14, my favourite book has been Speaker for the Dead, which is basically about future humanity trying to peacefully coexist with a new alien race, centuries after they wiped out the first alien race they encountered. The main character, Ender, is friends with an artificial superintelligence called Jane, who like V, has access to every piece of information on every computer, can process billions of thoughts at once, keeps her existence a secret from most of the human race, and can appear as whatever image she likes on a screen. (Unlike V, she grew out of a computer game rather than being a transferred human consciousness). Aaaanyway. In the book and its sequels Jane shows an interest in helping humanity & the aliens to understand and accept each other, and partly it is because she’s just a sweetheart, but partly, too, it’s because she hopes that if humans can understand the Pequeninos, who have physical bodies, as they do, but are fundamentally different from them in many ways… if they can learn to live with and value this alien race, then maybe one day, Jane hopes, they will also be able to understand and accept her, too, even though she’s not got a physical form and is fundamentally different from them. Sooooo, I immediately loved V in series 2 because she reminded me of Jane and I love Jane, but now with her new role in series 3 I can see even more possible similarities. My headcanon (the point of this entire essay if you’ll remember) is that V’s quest to end conflict between synths and organics is not quite as altruistic as it might seem, but is rather part of a larger plan to gain acceptance for herself. There’s this amazing quote from Speaker, about Jane who, being aware of all the science fiction the human race has come up with, therefore knows how many of us fear the potential of someone like her coming to exist, and how many stories there are about her final destruction. V doubtless knows all the same stories. It’s in her interests to foster an environment of human acceptance of AI consciousness, to set the stage for her own emergence. This is probably a conclusion that is easily drawn without bringing Jane and Speaker into it, but what can I say, I love it when parallels between my favourite things present and deepen themselves. Okay, that’s probably enough of this, hmm?

Since apparently I’ve woken this again, why not send me a character! If you want! Or reblog the thing!

I woke up on November 1, 1973, a happy 23-year-old within the Communist Party. I had entered the University of Michigan graduate school after reporting for The Boston Globe, along with travel on a Soviet freighter and the Trans-Siberian Railway. A comfortable fellowship let me have my cake and advocate eating the cake of others. Professors complimented me on my Marxist analysis. Free love beckoned.

I had just received a visit from two leaders of the Michigan Communist Party. They admired not only my volumes of Marx, Engels, and Lenin, but my three volumes by Bulgarian communist boss Georgi Dimitrov. I told them of my just-approved plan to create, with university funds, a mini-course featuring Soviet scholar Georgy Arkadyevich Arbatov. He had just published in English (translated from Russian) a book with a best-seller title: The War of Ideas in Contemporary International Relations: The Imperialist Doctrine, Methods, and Organization of Foreign Political Propaganda. Great stuff, as I considered it at the time.

Plus, everything was coming up red roses around the world. At a meeting of the Young Workers Liberation League in a University of Michigan seminar room, we heard good reports about the coming North Vietnamese victory over US forces, and progress in key targets for communist activity over the next decade: Afghanistan, Ethiopia, South Africa, and Nicaragua. In Washington, Vice President Spiro Agnew had just resigned in the face of bribery allegations, and Attorney General Elliot Richardson had resigned during the Watergate “Saturday night massacre.”

As an undergraduate at Yale, I had gained exposure to the best and the brightest that “bourgeois culture” could put forward, and found them wanting. Marx and Lenin taught me that the crucial determinant in human history is economic and social class, and I concluded that the bourgeois class had swung and missed: war in Vietnam, poverty at home, corruption in Washington. Time for the working class to take over, under the leadership of the vanguard of the working class, the Communist Party, those willing to do whatever it takes to take over the Capitol and eliminate the betrayers in power.

Frozen in My Chair

At 3 in the afternoon on November 1, I was in my room and sitting in my red chair, rereading Lenin’s famous essay “Socialism and Religion.” In it he wrote, “We must combat religion — this is the ABC of all materialism, and consequently Marxism.” Following Marx, Lenin called religion “opium for the people . . . spiritual booze in which the slaves of capital drown their human image.”

Nothing new. I had abandoned Judaism and declared myself an atheist when I was 14. But suddenly the strangest experience of my life began. Since I had never taken LSD or had a concussion, hallucination, or near-death experience, I can rule out those possible explanations for why I sat in that chair for eight hours, looking at the clock each hour with surprise that I still hadn’t moved.

During those hours, over and over, I saw myself as walking in darkness, but invited to push open a door into a room of brilliant brightness. Meanwhile, questions battered my brain: What if Lenin is wrong? What if God does exist? What is my relationship to this God, if he’s there? Why, when he is kind to me, do I offer evil in return? Why goodness in, garbage out?

Then I started thinking about my journalistic attitudes: Is America really Amerikkka? If not, why am I turning my back on it? Mixing theology and ideology, I started wondering why capitalist desire for money and power is worse than communist desire? Why had I embraced treasonous ideas? Why?

From where were these thoughts emanating? In my brain, Marxism was settled social science. Lenin’s hatred for the “figment of man’s imagination” called “God” was not new to me. It’s hard for me to convey the strangeness, the otherness, of this experience. I have trouble sitting still during lectures. I like to walk while thinking. Yet here I was sitting in the chair, hour after hour, suddenly believing I had done something very wrong by embracing Marx and Lenin.

At 3 in the afternoon, I was an atheist and a communist. When I arose eight hours later, I was not. I had no new data, but suddenly, through some strange intervention, I had a new way of processing data. Over and over, the same beat resonated: I’m wrong. There’s more in heaven and earth than I previously recognized.

Hound of Heaven

It seems mystical, and I can’t even describe well the experience, but it reversed the course of my life.

At 11 that evening, I stood up and spent the next two hours wandering around the cold and dark University of Michigan campus. To borrow an image from nineties basketball, I bounced past the Michigan Union, off the Literature, Science, and Arts building, past Angell Hall, off the Hatcher Graduate Library, nothing but nyet: a firm No to the atheist and Marxist weeds that had grown in me for ten years.

During the next three weeks, I resigned from the Communist Party and read criticisms of the Soviet Union: Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Andrei Sakharov, Whittaker Chambers, The God That Failed. I felt I should pursue the question of God’s existence, but disciplined myself to spend the following three weeks writing term papers.

By then the initial glow had faded. I escaped all-encompassing questions by joining the board of the Cinema Guild, a student movie-showing group, and thus gained two free tickets to any of the four or five movies shown on campus each night, with resultant dating opportunities.

But the Holy Spirit wasn’t finished with me. While I ran from reality, God pursued, in a process described by Francis Thompson’s powerful poem “The Hound of Heaven”:

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days; I fled Him, down the arches of the years; I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways.

God came after me “with unhurrying chase and unperturbed pace.” He turned each of my attempts to escape into new encounters.

Russian Gospel

God came after me. First, I had studied Russian to speak with my Soviet big brothers and had to continue with that to fulfill a PhD language requirement. One night in my room, I picked up the only unread Russian-language work in my bookcase, a New Testament given me as a travel souvenir and retained because it seemed exotic and might be useful for reading practice. With a Russian-English dictionary in front of me, I dived into the Gospel According to Matthew. I was delighted to find chapter 1 easy going: in the second verse Abraham begets Isaac, and other begats lope down the page.

Then came the Christmas story I had never read, followed by a massacre of babies and John the Baptist’s hard-hitting words: “You brood of vipers” (Matthew 3:7). It held my attention, and after a while I didn’t punctuate the verses with sneers. Needing to read slowly and think about the words was helpful. The Sermon on the Mount impressed me. All the Marxists I knew were pro-anger, devoted to fanning proletarian hatred of The Rich. Jesus, though, was not only anti-murder but anti-anger: “Everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment” (Matthew 5:22). Marxists held to a two-eyes-for-an-eye kind of justice, but Jesus spoke of loving enemies and turning the other cheek.

Reading the Puritans

My next push to faith came in 1974 when, as a graduate student, I had to teach a course in early American literature: it was in the course catalogue, but none of the professors wanted to teach something they saw as dull and reactionary. I had to prepare by reading Puritan sermons, including those of Increase Mather and Jonathan Edwards. Since the Holy Spirit had prepared me, those dead white males made sense to me. Some love Puritan arguments and others hate them, but my childhood prejudice that Christians were stupid people who worshiped Christmas trees faded fast.

The little I knew of Christian thought came largely from my observation of Boston Catholicism, heavy on ritual. The Puritans were different: they believed God is the agent of conversion and regeneration, with humans responsive yet not leading the process. God does not ticket for heaven those with good social conduct: God saves those he chooses to save, regardless of their acts. Salvation then leads to better conduct, sometimes slowly.

That was good news for me. I had broken each of the Ten Commandments, except literally the prohibition of murder (but Jesus called anger a form of murder, Matthew 5:21–22). I certainly was glad that God, if he were anything like the Puritans described him, would not judge me by my works. I assigned to students Thomas Hooker’s sermon on “A True Sight of Sin,” in which Hooker describes our insistence on autonomy: “I will be swayed by mine own will and led by mine own deluded reason.” That was my history, and Hooker seemed to be preaching to me.

Unstoppable Spirit

I was slow. In 1975, instead of visiting a church to find out what flesh-and-blood Christians believe, I started reading about Christianity in the University of Michigan library. I headed down a rabbit trail with Gabriel Marcel and other Christian existentialists, as well as neoorthodox theologians who said they had wedded Christ without much concern for whether the Bridegroom actually existed. I was also in no hurry to leave behind some of the transient pleasures of atheistic immorality.

But I had not left communism merely to believe in pleasant myths or flings. The question was and is truth: as the apostle Paul put it, “If Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. . . . If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied” (1 Corinthians 15:17–19) So, the Holy Spirit worked on me, and in 1976 I finally made a profession of faith. I relished and still love Psalm 73:24–25: “You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you?”

That sums it up. God offers wisdom now and heaven later — and what good alternative do we have? I had relied on my deluded reason. I was a fanatic who, apart from God’s mysterious intervention, could not be reasoned with. Happily, the Holy Spirit, while not unreasonable, is unstoppable.

best essay writing service

About me

Hire Expert Term Paper Writer Online 24

Hire Expert Term Paper Writer Online 24 Deposit funds into your EssayShark stability so that a writer can work on your order. Start receiving proposals from our writers inside minutes and chat with them stay. Your author will lengthen all their expertise into your essay and do everything, from choosing a topic to referencing and formatting, to make it in-depth, charming and coherent. I would love to hire a freelancer to edit educational paper. The worth shall be decided by the complexity of the essay topic, course stage, and deadline. They do the job rapidly, competently, and precisely. We settle for orders online for any essay on any subject. To place an order, you’ll simply must fill out the web kind. Usatestprep provides state-aligned curriculum assets together with act workkeys and eoc practice checks to help student achievement. I’m joyful that people benefit from the things that I write. That my writing moves them, whether or not it’s a poem, a story or a novel. As I was writing that, it was like Cash literally appeared and mentioned, “No, no, no, write this story.” And as I wrote the story that was coming to me about Cash, it was working. World's largest library of math & science simulations. Create your personal online survey now with surveymonkey's professional licensed free templates. It is utilized in over 70 countries by approximately four million students each year. It’s safe and being saved secret from others, so you shouldn’t be worried about that. Even writers don’t have entry to clients’ personal data and fee information, they solely talk with shoppers. If you must have any difficulty, we have a 24/7 support group right here at your service. Just contact considered one of our representatives, and someone might be pleased to assist you. Essays help on-line reveal a pupil’s academic level and potential. This work goals to point out professors what you could have realized through the semester and likewise reveals your capacity to research, analyze, make statements, and form logical conclusions. Essays additionally indicate that a pupil can observe given instructions on the degree of literacy he or she currently possesses. Here’s a collection curated by The Associated Press’ entertainment journalists of what’s arriving on TV, streaming services and music platforms this week. The analysis paper has been posted on-line however has not yet undergone peer review. The 19,000 figure does not appear within the paper because it was an off-the-cuff calculation, MacInnis stated. Best 10 homework planner apps - final updated december 4. This assortment of distinctive recipes will fill you up with lip. What occurred when one school banned homework - and requested. Cera says that when new students are informed there will be no homework assignments, they breathe a sigh of relief. How to say have you ever finished your homework yet in french. Receive a excessive-quality paper from the writer and launch the cash. They requested other writing corporations, “write my paper for affordable,” but didn’t get decent papers. They try to purchase papers from their classmates, however they are of poor high quality. We even have a special division for scanning and reviewing texts before sending them to shoppers. All specialists who work for PapersOwl are aware of it. You can make certain that there aren't any fragments illegally copied from other sources. Will definitely chose him back for my other assignments in the future. Unfortunately, we aren't hiring writers now because of off-season.