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simpforchuchu · 2 years

Note

Hii, saw that your request are open so if you don't mind could you please do a chuuya/dazai x reader who has been kiddnaped by a strong organization. Take your time with it!

Chuuya/Dazai x reader who has been kiddnaped

a/n: Hello ! Here is your request.I hope you like it ♥️

Requests are open, if you want me to write something, just let me know 😊

Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...

Thank you and love you 🥰

Warnings: gunshot, blood, kidnapping

Chuuya

The ropes on your wrist started to hurt you more and more with every movement. It hurt so much that your eyes were red and you were trying hard not to cry.

After another slap in the face, you fell to the floor with the chair and cried out in pain.

"Where's Chuuya Nakahara? Talk now bitch"

You grit your teeth in pain and look at the hideous creature that had slapped you with its touching cheek off the ground.

Why did it have to be like this? Couldn't you walk hand in hand in the park and eat ice cream like normal couples?

But no... He was a mafia executive.

You cried out in anger and pain when another kick was thrown at you lying on the ground.

"I don't know, damn I don't. But I swear to you, even if I knew, I would never have told you."

Another kick came and you coughed and blood trickled from your lips. That wasn't good...

Your eyes were blacking out, you were forcing yourself to stay conscious but it was so hard Everything around you sped up with the sudden voices. You didn't know what was going on, but everything was too fast for you.

Painful voices, shouts and explosions...

You knew very well who was coming. He had come to pick you up. He would have found you if they had taken you to the other side of the world.

After a while the voices stopped, and only the man who kicked you remained in the room.

He picked you up from the ground, put his gun to your neck, and waited for Chuuya to come in.

Only a few seconds later, he had arrived. Even though it was difficult, you opened your eyes and looked into his eyes, while your eyes were shining with the happiness of seeing him, there was only anger and fire in his.

"Don't come any closer! I'll blow this little bitch's brains out. Don't take another step."

Chuuya stopped, reached for his knife at his waist, and paused. He couldn't put you in danger, but he couldn't let this guy escape either.

Just then, you lowered your head and threw a strong head back. With your move, Chuuya threw his knife and stabbed the man behind you in the throat.

As the man collapsed to the ground, you couldn't find the strength to stand as the strength holding you disappeared.As you were about to fall, a pair of arms held you tight and placed you on your knees.

He untied your hands and placed small kisses on the scars on your wrists, first on your face and finally on your lips.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. They kidnapped you because of me, you suffered because of me. I'm so sorry angel."

With the last of your remaining strength, you brought your hands to Chuuya's face and gently stroked his cheek.

"Shh, I'm fine. Don't worry. I just want to go home and sleep, can you carry me?"

You smiled, he smiled. He slowly lifted you off the ground and you rested your head on his chest.

It was obvious that he was very scared, you were also very scared, but nothing mattered anymore. He was by your side...

Dazai

The young man froze at the scream he heard on the other side of the phone. He couldn't remember ever being so scared in his life.

"Touch her again and I swear you'll never see the sun again."

When the phone hung in his face with cold-blooded threats, he squeezed the phone in his hand and quickly took his jacket and left the office.

His past… that dark past still haunted him. He was happy with 'Y/n', he was at peace and she was the most beautiful, best, most precious thing in his life. Now one of his enemies was hurting his lover, whom he was trying to protect even from himself.

He didn't know what to do... He actually knew. He wasn't going to keep that guy alive, he was going to bury him there.

He made sure his gun was loaded, he wouldn't hesitate to use it today.

He came to the place where he was summoned and entered silently. The atmosphere was so quiet that he was sure that it was a trap.

The world stopped for a moment when he went upstairs and saw a woman covered in blood tied to a chair. He hurried there as cold sweat poured down his head.

"'Y/n' !"

When he took the bag off her head, he took a deep breath and exhaled. It wasn't 'y/n'. But he let his guard down. He did not notice the man behind him and a gunshot was heard.

When Dazai quickly turned around, he froze when he saw the man who fell to the ground covered in blood and the gun he was holding fell to the ground.

He saw his lover right behind the man. She was pointing her gun at the man, still shooting. He quickly ran to her and pulled the gun out of her hand.

Evidently, she was also scared and in shock.

"Enough sweetie, he's dead."

The young woman cried and hugged the man next to her tightly.

"He was going to kill you, that's why he kidnapped me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for being so weak"

"Sshh, it was you who saved me after all."

Although Dazai said it with a laugh, the young woman did not laugh.

"I was afraid that he would do something to you 'y/n' the most. Are you okay?"

The young woman shook her head.

"Nothing else matters. Just be fine. Let's get out of here beautiful."

#bsd #bsd fanfic #bsd imagine #bsd x reader #chuuya #bungou stray dogs #chuuya imagine #chuuya x reader #chuuya x you #chuuyanakahara #chuuya x y/n #dazai x you #osamu dazai #dazai #dazai x reader #dazaiosamu #dazai x y/n #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai

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kachuuyaa · 3 years

Text

— ELYSIAN’S FUGITIVES.

06072021 ; g.i oneshot , gn!reader , bsd!reader

genre ; angsty fluff ig i dunno???

includes ; WISP!CHUUYA MAKES HIS APPEARANCE :D mentions of death, gore, gods, chuuya being cute (He Squeaks!) chuuya and reader meant to be REAL, literally just a first meeting between aether n you Italics is Japanese

synopsis ; The punishment from the gods is to be sent to Elysian, then banished into a never-ending cycle of paranoia.

author's notes ; U FINALLY MEET AETHER. wisp!chuuya is the best thing I have ever written ever I was mentally squealing because oh my oiguoidsp[';][][21P]2;\.,sdmNXK

You couldn’t count the days you have roamed Teyvat, it has been too long since then. For 60 years (it was 60 years, wasn’t it? You don’t remember anymore), you have not crossed any country’s border, only listening to their seemingly endless musings. You have never been out in the sea, tensity and uneasiness forming in the pit of your stomach whenever so. However, being isolated from the land the gods rule upon, has earned you a title. Your name is being whispered as a warning or a legend like a scripture formed with the wind. Some were afraid of you, while some respected you. It was pathetic, really, how desperate these people were compared to those in Yokohama. There was no point in dwelling in the past, now, was there? Despite receiving unwanted attention by passersby, you paid no attention to those who whispered your name like a mantra, spouting vile, vulgar assumptions about you. You realized-- quickly-- that they only think for themselves, not for the benefit of others. Wouldn’t that be the source of their demise? Well, you don’t linger on trivial topics for too long, it’s only fair for you to care only about yourself in a world you don’t belong in (you know you belong here now, yet you felt as if Elysian was better than this place they call home).

You have heard of the outlander who caught the wind, saving a foreign nation he seemed to have been in once, only, and you have let the news flow from one ear to another. Who were you to care? No one should catch your attention in a world full of insatiable people. Each step made the grass crunch, making your way to the foot of Dragonspine. Chuuya followed suit, and he settled himself on your head. You figured out that he could shapeshift, probably his punishment as well, yet so far, he has only shifted into a bird and a wisp. His wisp form wasn’t as elegant as you may think, a small, hooded figure encased in smoke-colored clothing, resembling the coat he used to wear. On top, there was a small black X-shaped symbol in the middle of his chest. Around his small form were orange particles, that remind you vividly of Chuuya's ability. A little hat, one you were familiar with, was situated on top of his small head. It was the hat he was wearing during his time as a mafioso, you deduced as such. The tiny creature lets out small squeaks of content, nuzzling itself on your head; seems like he thought it was a good pillow. A chuckle of amusement escapes your lips, turning your head around to watch the scenery in front of you. Dragonspine was one of your favorite places to visit during your free time, snow piling on top of another, making the white mountain as beautiful as it is. However, you do not venture into Dragonspine, not wanting to risk your life for creatures who seem to always take your time.

As much as you hate to admit it, you have most likely killed more hilichurls than you ever killed back in Yokohama. The songs of relentless, snow-covered winds never fail to make your unease and worry falter, even for a moment. The glacial scenery of the mountain attracted your attention, especially your first visit here. A few snowflakes settled themselves on your face, melting due to the heat emitting from your body. If you had the chance, should you tell your friends about the scenery, they would love it too, wouldn't they? You know they would, however, how would you know so? They’re gone, and so is your attachment to anything but Chuuya. “Do you like the scenery, Chuchu?” soft taps on your head were his response, indicating that he was displeased with the nickname you gave him. He agreed nonetheless, sitting on the palm of your hand. He squirmed, looking for a more comfortable position, and stilled after a while.

Memories of the past have always plagued your mind, reminding you that you were alone, again. Despite the copious memories you have stored away, none will bring you back to the place you have regarded as your home. For once, you have felt safe, all the while knowing death follows you wherever you go. Death was the dark, hollow cloak you wore while walking the path of dread in your past life, hands coated with the blood of another, and your eyes held the burden you were forced to carry until the day you died. The amount of blood was enough to shatter the dreams children told you to believe in, you were holding on the thinnest thread, one soaked with blood, your blood, reminding you how much you have suffered and how you made others weak, on their knees, while keeping a straight face as you watch the life draining from their faces. You have learned that life was unfair, gods turning a blind eye to the generation you were put in, leading the people to be self-reliant, causing resentment and disrespect to be aimed at those who call themselves “gods”.

Did they even exist? You have heard, and read, tell of what the gods and goddesses have done to provide, to give, and to sacrifice. Did they give up? Were they satisfied with what they have gotten? Has their insatiable lust for approval and desire to fulfill their selfish, carnal desires quenched? Did they only long for what they have desired, using their power to prove themselves better among the world of mortals? Were they not the selfless, kind gods described in the books of old? Nevertheless, you had no respect for the divine. You only had yourself to depend on since the start. You controlled your own death, knowing that when you died, it was time. You could have stopped yourself from fading, though, but you were tired, you let it happen. And though you know that your death will be remembered, not in the history books, but in the Port Mafia, you will be forever remembered.

59 years have passed. There is no time to dwell in the past, all you have is the memories you swear to protect. Your fight with immortality has been futile, leaving you to bask in your own presence for 59 years. That is until Chuuya finally found you. And you? You found him. It wasn’t expected for you to know who he was, a mere spirit cursed by gods above to wander a world he was unfamiliar with. He was stripped of Arahabaki, leaving him with only his outermost ability, “For The Tainted Sorrow”. He didn’t mind, as well, Arahabaki resides within him, giving him a sense of dread, and leaving him with his identity that he can’t seem to solve. Arahabaki has forever stained him as blood stained your hands, giving him scars that will never leave him. In that life, and in the next. He had you, sweet, malevolent, outstanding you. Though he never voiced it out, he felt, well, complete, to say the least. And while feeling detached from not being completely human has affected him far too much, you were there to make him feel-- what did you make him feel, really? He can’t decipher his own feelings as his own identity. In all the years he has roamed this world as an insignificant wisp of the wind, he found himself tangled in another adventure with the “most insufferable partner aside from Dazai”.

Your footsteps were carried by the wind, walking to the City of Mondstadt, again, Chuuya on your shoulder, scanning the area for any enemies or the like. You were currently looking for food, choosing to shop in Mondstadt instead of catching wildlife. Each step has your coat moving from one side to another, boots making the grass crunch in every step. “Ne, Chuuya, do you want to buy pancakes from Mond?” you whispered, voice soft, only for Chuuya to hear. Said wisp only nods its small head, his little hood moving ever so slightly while he nods. Deciding that it would be best for him to rest, you put him in your breast pocket, his little head poking just a bit. Chuuya softly squeaked, nuzzling on the fabric, and opted to rest despite his unsaid protests. But before you could set foot onto the City Of Freedom, a high-pitched voice prevented you from doing so. “Hey!” they said, you whipped your head to the direction you heard it from, spotting a seemingly young-looking traveler, and a floating pixie-- wait.

Isn’t he the honorary knight? You thought to yourself, unconsciously cupping the pocket Chuuya resides in, feeling him squirm when he came in contact with your gloved palm. Instead of giving them a response, you simply stared at them, eyes glimmering with amusement. “Hi.” a simple, short greeting. Although you would prefer to ask the traveler some questions, that wouldn’t be necessary. You were able to decipher every detail easily, too easily, in fact. Aether, however, wasn’t fazed. He was well aware of how they described you, and how notorious you were due to appearance. Scoffing at the assumptions, he looked forward to meeting you. Perhaps he will look forward to his endeavors with you by his side, no? A star sent from Elysian would only brighten the mortal world, cursed with divine power and lonesome memories.

However, you did not know that a simple greeting exchanged on your first day of the meeting would bloom into something much more.

Ah, it seems that the show is starting once again, a different chapter, a different genre.

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popopretty · 3 years

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Hi, do you take translation request? I heard there was a portion at the end of Stormbringer that has Chuuya meet someone and I really want to know a, who he was meeting and b, what was the meeting about. If you were about to do it, thank you so much, and to every single translation/request you've done so far!

Hey,

I will not translate the full part but I’m gonna write you a summary here.

Chuuya was given a top-secret mission to monitor two targets. So he went to the scene, where Higuchi and Akutagawa was waiting for him there. He took over the case from them. The place was an old, quiet and spacy clinic.

It is then said that Chuuya’s reputation in the organization rose a lot after the “Assassination Event”, because he single-handedly defeated the beast. There was no-one in the organization who didn’t know Chuuya’s name and he gained a lot of new subordinates from then.

Despite that, Chuuya didn’t talk about his past or his real self with anyone. Because just as Dazai said, when Chuuya used Corruption, all of the instruction logs inside him were reset and there was no proof left to tell if he was human or not. Because a clone is created using the cells from his original, there is no different between them physically. That’s why all the doctors who checked Chuuya couldn’t tell either.

But Chuuya didn’t care much about that. In his mind, he knew that the one who made the decision that led to the reset of the system was himself. And even if he could turn back time now, he would still do the same thing.

He looked at his hand and noticed a small stabbing scar near his wrist. He couldn’t remember where he got it. It’s pretty rare because Chuuya can stop almost all the attacks using his ability. The only times he would get injured were when he took an attack by a powerful skill or when he was ambushed, for example when Shirase stabbed him. That’s why he somehow felt that this small scar was an emblem to show who he was.

At that time, his targets appeared. They were husband and wife. According to Mori’s explanation before sending Chuuya there, those two are the targets that Mafia has been pursuing for a long time. The husband is a physician who has lived here since long ago and his wife. The wife looks very gentle but she was actually a former soldier. Also based on Mori’s explanation, those two do not have children. The records say they did have one boy but he died long time ago because of the war. That was a naughty boy. When the boy was in elementary school, he got into a fight with another student of the same school who was 4 years older than him, because that student was insulting his parents. The opponent was using a pencil as a weapon, but the boy didn’t back off one step. Even when he was stabbed by the pencil, he didn’t retreat and just threw a punch at him.

Mori also explained to Chuuya that the lead in the pencil has low reactivity and does not change much even if it is pierced inside a living body. So if the lead of the pencil is stabbed into someone and the tip breaks inside, it will stay as it is and remain on the body for a long time. And the place where the couple’s son was stabbed, was on the same place as the small scar Chuuya saw on his right wrist.

Chuuya looked at the couple who are eating and chatting happily outside. He then recalled what Mori said before. That even though a clone and an original are mostly identical, their histories are different. For example, if the original suffered a wound when he was small, that would not be reflected on the clone.

Chuuya put his hands in his pocket, leaned on his bike and kept watching the couple until they finished eating and went back inside the clinic. He then called Mori and told him that he had completed the mission and ready to go back. Mori asked him in a regretful voice if it was okay not to meet them. Because they finally found them after all, as a congratulation on Chuuya’s being appointed as an executive. Chuuya then answered to Mori that it was okay because Port Mafia was his family. And he said thank you to Mori on the phone, before getting on his bike to go back.

#ask #bsd #bungou stray dogs #storm bringer #storm bringer spoilers #nakahara chuuya #spoilers

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tender-rosiey · 3 years

Note

hey dear (yeah im deffo addicted to your writing) just checking on you i hope your doing good and taking care of yourself. I would also like to drop a one shot request of Chuuya falling for mori's god-daughter (also an executive) who has an ability which allows her to summon and control demons while singing but she ends up getting captured and goes missing for 2 years then one day they find her and he confesses to her after she gets rescued (rlly fluffy). thanks in advance love Safiyah <33

❥—Cassiopeia

❥—Chuuya Nakahara x Reader

❥—Fluff

ᴀ/ɴ: i am glad you enjoy my writing and i hope you are doing great as well; hopefully you like this one too 🥺💘 also let this cure your hearts after the last one- also the chant is inspired by Obey me ❣️

“Chuuya, I would like for you to meet my daughter.”

Right then a beautiful and fair lady came out of the door. Chuuya beweildered by her beauty went silent; such a beautiful creature existed?

“Y/N, meet Chuuya; he is one of the best executives here!” Mori introduced you smiling, to which you wave your hand to the ginger and smiled warmly “Hey Chuuya! Pleasure meeting you.” Chuuya smiled shyly and waved back “S-same here..”

Mori then smirked and questioned “Chuuya what’s the matter? You seem rather uncollected.” The said male waved his hand around in denial as he was stopped by a giggle from the lady beside him. “You are quite cute; I hope we get to know each other more.” You said before exiting for your mission.

Chuuya let out a sigh of relief putting his hands on his knees as blush crept onto his face. He made a total and utter fool out of himself; Isn’t he the strongest executive? Why was he so damn shy around you? The thought started clouding his mind until Mori snapped him out of his daze and asked “Are you perhaps interested in Y/N, Chuuya?”

Damn right he is. You were so sweet and kind and that just hit bullseye in his heart. Ever since then he would take almost any opportunity to be with you and talk with you. You were slowly getting to know each other better.

You have been together through tears and giggles and pain and sniffles. He knows you deeply and you know him just as well. After all 3 years of friendship isn’t a minuscule period of time; there multiple moments he had seen you in that made just how much of a wonderful person you are even clearer.

You got along with everyone.

Akutagawa, you both were like best friends and would tell each other everything. You were one of the few he accepted help or their company and you were always a great duo in battle.

Kouyou, the woman that took him in adores you. What more could he ask for? Kouyou helped you and guided in your times of unknowing what to do and how to do it. You were sisters and she valued you deeply, she would always hang out with you and talk with you about anything and everything.

Mori, the man who you addressed as your father. Despite Mori not being biologically him but he treated you as such, as if you were his daughter. He gave you all his love and made you feel appreciated and took care of you.

Seeing your kindness towards your allies Chuuya was dazzled, how could someone so sweet and kind be in the Mafia? His thoughts were completely erased when he saw you in battle.

Multiple screams, all saying the same thing “Beware of the Port Mafia’s devil!” Chuuya was wondering about who are they referring to, was it him? He suddenly heard someone singing behind him.

“Hear me, denizens of darkness, you who are born of shadow and you who give birth to it. Hear me and do as I command! I, Y/N, call upon you to send forth one of your number! I summon the demons of chanting despair!”

That voice, it sounded so angelic but the words were venomous. He turned around to be met with the sight of you floating, eyes glowing purple as demons from around you rose from the earth and attacked all the men in front of him.

‘Woah..’ He couldn’t be more in love. Your elegant movement while fighting were a sight to behold. Your voice was enchanting yet deadly, he would be grateful if it was the last thing he heard before his death.

He loved how there was a total difference between the way you treat your peers and your enemies. Did he really deserve if your feelings were mutual? It was new for Chuuya to doubt himself. But there wasn’t any route to choose when his heart now belonged to no one but you and that made him helpless before you.

“Look at the stars, Chuuya !” Right, you loved looking at constellations, and he loved how the stars shined and danced in your eyes as if they were their ball room.

He looked up and saw a weird look star, maybe a constellation? He then pointed at it and asked “Y/N, what constellation is that?” You smiled brightly before answering “That’s Cassiopeia! It represents love.” You then turned to the ginger finding him close to you and somehow both of you involuntary moved closer, slowly about to close the gap between you.

“Hello Y/N.” You both jumped and looked at the owner of the voice to see that it’s Mori. Chuuya saying every cuss word in his mind while you both were as red as roses, however Mori was grinning mischievously. It’s nice being a party pooper at times.

However that’s all in the past.

Now you were gone, no one knew where you were taken and if you were even still alive. 2 years too long for the ginger, too long because of his suffering and sadness through them.

When he first found out you were taken he was devastated and went on searching everywhere with the mafia men; everyone in the Port Mafia was searching for their Y/N.

At the night he found out he couldn’t sleep, and wanted to start the search as soon as possible but days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and then into years. Chuuya was starting to lose hope but still searched. Everyday he thought of you, he would drink wine and anything to wash it all away.

Even now after all what happened and the two years that had passed since then they still didn’t stop searching. He didn’t stop searching.

He was walking down the streets returning back from a mission as he came across a warehouse, it looked rather sketchy so to quiet down his thoughts he entered it and his eyes could not believe what he saw.

You all beaten up and bruised. Body looking as weak as a stick and something to silence your screams and chants on your mouth, his body loved involuntary and hugged you tightly quickly freeing you from the chains that hampered you from fleeing from your misery.

He sent the location to the Port Mafia and now everyone was going to come and make who did this to you pay. He picked you up and as he looked behind him he found Mori with wide eyes barely himself believing that indeed you were alive.

The old man took you from the hands of your savior and inspected your face, those who did this to you will go through hell. “Chuuya take her back.” Mori said sternly and Chuuya nodded, he wasn’t going to let you go out of his sight again.

And there he was with you on a bed, multiple tubes sticking to your skin and a oxygen mask. You looked really weak and pale, but it didn’t stop him from loving you. He loved you even more because you managed to live through that and made it back to him at the end.

Chuuya fell asleep as he was waiting for any sign of your awakening, and you woke up instead adjusting to the light and your surroundings. This wasn’t the dark and frightening warehouse you were in...you were finally saved. After two years of misery you were finally saved.

You looked to your side to find the ginger fast asleep alongside you, you smiled softly and gently played with his hair. Chuuya felt something on his head and slowly woke up to see you pulling your hand away, but he held it tenderly and put it back.

“I have to tell you something when you recover, Y/N.” He said as he was enjoying the feeling of your touch. “Why not now?” You questioned while he looked up at you with a smile and mumbled “because it’s something you need to be told outside of this white chamber.”

And so as time passed you were finally back to how you were. He blindfolded you and led you to a garden and went behind you. “Chuuya where are we?” You wondered while he chuckled and took your blindfold off and said “See for yourself.”

Your eyes were now looking at the garden you last saw Chuuya before your disappearance, but right now there was a picnic set and surrounding it were petals on a shape of a heart and candles lighting up the the space. He then pointed above and looked at you.

There it was, the constellation of love, Cassiopeia. He placed a hand on his heart and softly said “Love is what I feel for you. Very deep and strong love.” He walked towards you and held your hands between his bringing them up to his lips and placed a light kiss to them.

“I never stopped loving you, and from the moment I saw you took my breath away, you made me the prisoner of love and the poor who seeks for your love and touch. Everything about you is beyond description, I can’t find the words to describe it and I am afraid that it had already eaten me up. I am afraid that now you are the only who can calm the beast of love and adoration that only wants you and won’t accept anyone but you. So will you please give me a chance and let me show you how much love my heart feels towards you?”

A smile made its way into your face and vision getting glossy. You pulled the ginger towards you and connected your lips as gentle as one would touch a flower’s petal. The light of the stars shining on both you, it looked like a scene from a movie.

A portray, a beautiful portray, that could be drawn by millions but never be as beautiful. And Cassiopeia was the witness of their true and never ending love.

“once I believed

love poems were foolish

now I read love poems

just for the sake of it

and yet perhaps I want

to reach a higher state of poetry

I don't know if that's right or wrong

but such a feeling persists anyway

and sometimes irritates me

provoking outrageous desires

once I believed

love poems were foolish

yet now I do nothing

but dream about love“

-from “Exhaustion” by Nakahara Chuuya

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

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chuuyasnumber1simp · 3 years

Text

Born of Lies but Learning to Love- Part 3

previous part part one

Warnings: Suicide, Character Death, General Angst but not as bad as you think i promise

Word Count: 2233

“I want you to kill Chuuya,”

The words from the man you hated most in your life reverberated through your head, chilling you to the bone. God, you wished this was some sort of sick joke- he did those often.

“I’ve watched your progress, I’ve watched you grow. I know you’re capable of doing it. I know you’ve formed some sort of attachment to him, and as much as I believe Chuuya can and has done great things, I do believe you can do better. The first step is ridding yourself of your attachment to him, and the best way to do that is to kill him with your own two hands,”

“Chuuya,” Mori turned to the redhead beside him. “This is no offense to your abilities, but I need to think about what’s best for the Port Mafia. Sacrifices must be made for the greater good,”

Chuuya was livid. The ground cracked under the increased gravity, a red aura glowing around him.

For once, you thanked your ‘training’, because currently, your face remained expressionless, while you were spiraling inside.

What were you supposed to do? The consequences of disobeying Mori were steep, he did horrors worse than death. The scars that littered your body were a testament to that. But Chuuya…

What did you feel for Chuuya?

You’d never liked anyone romantically before, it was never even a thought. You didn’t really know how to categorize your feelings, they were just there.

And you let them be, because they were alienated from you, and you didn’t know what to do with them. You observed them from a distance, letting them unfold.

He was so comforting, never demanded you to do anything you didn’t want to. He was a constant you needed in your life, a comfort.

Though, you didn’t quite know in which way,

You loved him.

Maybe, platonically, maybe romantically,

But you loved Chuuya Nakahara.

You weren’t sure how he felt about you, but with him you were happy. So you knew, what you had to do would be the most painful thing you would ever do.

Chuuya was yelling obscenities to Mori. You chuckled at this, you would miss the way he was hard on the outside, soft on the inside.

Stepping forward, standing next to him, you smiled lightly, not enough to be noticed.

Goodbye, Chuuya.

CHUUYA POV:

He barely noticed you stepping up next to him, and he wished he noticed the glint of metal in your hand.

Time seemed to slow from that point on, and to say his heart stopped was an understatement.

A small knife glinted in your hand, and in one swift motion, you drew it across your throat.

He grabbed your wrist, flinging the knife somewhere in the room. Your body crumpled to the floor, already failing from the amount of blood loss. He knelt down, clutching you close to his chest.

“No, no no no no,” he whispered, looking around frantically for someone, something, to help.

“Hey,” you whispered hoarsely, voice box barely working from the cut.

Gently cupping his face with your hand, you traced the outline of his face, fingertips already growing cold.

“Could you take off your gloves? I want to feel you before I go,”

“You’re not going to go, we’ll get Yosano and--”

“Chuuya,”

Tears were streaming down his face now, blending with the blood you accidentally spread on his.

“It has to be this way. Mori isn’t going to let both of us leave this room unless one of us is in a body bag. Thank you for allowing me to be happy. I have a favorite food now. It’s popcorn,”

He chuckled, not wanting the last sight you see of him be that of sadness.

“Promise me you’ll finish When Calls the Heart. One of us needs to know if Jack finally confesses to Mrs. Thatcher,”

Chuuya watched as Mori left the room, most likely aware the once the last breath left your lips, there would be no stopping Chuuya’s Corruption.

“What am I going to do when you’re gone?” His piercing blue eyes gazed into yours, conveying so much sadness, trying so hard to figure out why it had to be you, and not him.

“I’ll never truly leave you, Chuuya. I’ll always be with you, in your heart. You care so deeply, and while many would frown upon that, seeing as your a member of the mafia, I’ve always loved that about you. Please know that I’m doing this because I want you to live on, make sure nobody suffers like I did, okay?”

He wrapped his pinky finger around yours, sobbing quietly. “I promise. I’m going to miss you so much, Y/N,”

He could see the light slowly leaving your eyes, your arm slumping to the ground.

“I’ll see you again someday, Chuuya Nakahara,”

With that, your chest stopped moving, your eyes no longer filled with any life at all. You were limp in his arms, gone.

He screamed, clutching your bloody form to his allowing corruption to take over his mind, drown out his thoughts. He was vaguely aware of Koyou entering the room, trying to get a hold of your body. The red marks swirling around his body grew, and he slapped her hand away, not even trying to distinguish his sobs from his screams. His thoughts rampaged in his head, harsh and unforgiving.

Why does everyone leave?

Why did she have to go, why do I care? Why does this hurt so much?

Why am I so stupid stupid stupid stupid?

Stupid little Chuuya, he liked someone again didn’t he?

Did he not see how it worked out last time?

He left, she died, it’s always the same, isn’t it?

Arabahki’s thoughts mingled with his own, mixing together with the chaos of his grief.

All he had was the Port Mafia, and yet Mori betrayed him, was ready to kill him off. Sacrifice him, was Chuuya even important?

Not to Dazai. Not to the Sheep. Not to the Port Mafia.

Maybe it’s time to go.

DAZAI POV:

Getting a call from Mori that Chuuya was on a Corruption rampage and might kill him and the rest of the Port Mafia, was not how Dazai enjoyed being woken up on his day off.

Dazai pondered his relationship with the short man on his way to the Port Mafia headquarters, wondering how his former partner felt about him, after all these years. Dazai knew how Chuuya felt about what he did to Y/N, but he also fondly remembers the grudging friendship the two had harbored in their youth. Dazai never knew what to make of Chuuya. Though he relished fights and the occasional killing of a man, his personality never seemed to fit the Port Mafia. He held too much compassion in his heart, carried too much sympathy for an executive. Dazai himself, even after attempting to better himself, admitted to himself that he did not possess the same weirdly righteous qualities Chuuya had. As he rushed up the stairs and to the elevator in the building, he wondered if Chuuya would have faired better during a different time, maybe some dimension where abilities did not exist.

He hoped that in some other dimension, you and him had found happiness.

When he stepped into Mori’s office, the sight that greeted him shocked him to his core. Your body lies dead in the center of the room, blood staining the ground around you. Chuuya held you like a lifeline, blood already spilling from his mouth at the use of Corruption. When his eyes caught Dazai’s he lunged forward, fist pulled back. Dazai sidestepped, grabbing his arm and slamming him to the ground.

Corruption slowly dissipated, leaving Chuuya weak and angry. They both sat against the glass, Dazai gripping Chuuya’s hand. He listened to him cry, wondering if he was intruding. He most likely was, but Dazai would be lying if he said that he was not saddened by your lifeless form, knowing that in a way, he was the reason for your untimely death.

Chuuya shifted next to him, wobbly standing up.

“Chuuya,” Dazai called, concerned that he would activate Corruption again.

“Want do you want,” Chuuya all but yelled back, clear malice ripping through Dazai.

“Just an explanation,”

“You don’t deserve one. This is all your fault. Plus, It’s not like you gave me one when you left,”

Dazai hardened his gaze. “You know why I left,”

“Oh yes, I know why,” Chuuya threw his hand up in the air, rounding on the brunette. “But the explanation never came from you. The only thing you’ve ever given me was issues, and in a way, Y/N, but now she’s gone,” His voice broke at your name, a few more tears pilling over. “And I’m alone again,”

“Chuuya-”

“No!” Chuuya screamed, letting out everything he still had left in him. “She didn’t deserve this. She was so scared, and so hurt, and I thought I could help her, but in the end, I’m the reason she’s dead. And you,” He stood before Dazai, heaving, tears freely flowing. “You’re the one who made her this way,”

Dazai stood up, towering over his ex-partner. “I never said I don’t regret what I did, nor did I say I enjoyed it. I was a kid Chuuya, and I had nowhere else to call home. Can you honestly say you have no regrets? That you never did things your ashamed of?”

Chuuya punched Dazai’s arm, though he was too weak for the punch to feel anything more than a tap.

“I hate you,” Chuuya said, eyes downcast.

“No, you don’t. You hate what I’ve done, and you hate the way you still regard me as someone you rely on, but you don’t hate me. You hate the fact that you don’t hate me,”

“You’re a monster,”

Dazai knew that Chuuya didn’t mean what he said, that he was grieving, but his words hurt some deep place in his heart nonetheless.

Dazai wrapped his arms around the shorter man, an action foreign and unfamiliar for the both of them. Yet, appropriate, in some way.

“I know,”

Chuuya sobbed, letting his anger melt away and expose the deep, raw sadness beneath. He practically ripped Dazai’s trench coat with how hard he gripped it, sinking to his knees in exhaustion. Dazai felt a few hot tears slip down his cheeks, something he hadn’t done in a very long time.

YOUR POV:

It hurt.

Dying was more painful than you ever could have imagined, but watching Chuuya tear apart the room and himself while you watched on from the shadows hurt more.

Right before Chuuya started yelling at Mori, you had activated your ability, hiding your real form and creating a second one. You watched as you made it draw the blade against its -your- throat, and watched with tears streaming down your cheeks as Chuuya held you, promising to make sure no one would go through what had happened to you.

It hurt, but you knew the only way to make sure Chuuya lived on was to make everyone think you died. For the plan to work, Chuuya had to be completely innocent of your plan.

Which meant he would think you died too.

You listened to his and Dazai’s conversation, shocked at how hurt he sounded when he brought up Dazai leaving. It hurt you to know you had essentially done the same thing, though your purpose was to make sure he was safe.

Now came the tricky part.

You had only succeeded in doing this once, but it was worth a shot.

Since Dazai was not touching you, he was also under the influence of your ability.

In order for this to work, you had to make them believe that it was normal for your body to fade and disappear as if it was an aspect of your ability.

Your head pounded as you manipulated their minds, knowing Dazai was going to find out your extravagant lie sooner or later.

Once you were sure you succeeded, you let your double fade away, then left the room, keeping your ability activated all the while.

You can’t kill someone for leaving the mafia if they’re already dead.

You trekked through Yokohama in the pouring rain, your nose bleeding at the prolonged use of your ability. You knew your time was running out, but you needed to hold out. Just for a little longer.

Walking up to the door of a small apartment, you carefully picked the lock, concealing your presence, and stepping inside.

Footsteps light, you walked through the house, spotting your targets crying on the couch together.

Atsushi and Kyouka were both crying, and you decided to wait a bit before revealing yourself.

“I can’t believe she’s gone,” Kyouka whispered, and you instantly knew they were talking about you.

Why?

“You know, she was getting really good at reading and writing,” Atsushi sniffled. “And she loved to run her hands through my fur. I thought it was weird at first, but she was always so gentle,”

Better rip the Band-Aid off You thought to yourself, deciding you should just reveal yourself and get it over with.

When you did, Atsushi leapt up off the couch in his half tiger form, shoving Kyouka behind him.

His eyes widened once he realized it was you.

“Y-Y/N?”

“Hey, Atsushi,”

A/N: hey. hey,,,, how ya’ll doin?

Okay but in all seriousness, this aint the end. also the dazai/chuuya action in this was PURLEY platonic (absolutely NOTHING against the ship, i just don’t think it fits this fic :)), a reconciliation of friends if you will. Because yes, I do believe they’re friends. Maybe not by conventional standards, but you just don’t see unconditional trust like they have all the time guys.

So uhhh, how we feeling about this? We did get somewhere with readers feelings!!

But seriously guys, I actually typed this all in one sitting (i scrapped the old version of this chapter because i didn't like it) because i hit 105 followers!! i kinda stole my laptop back from my mom so i could publish this, since i still feel really bad for going so long without posting any new stuff.

Make sure ya’ll drink water, eat food, and take proper care of yourselves!!

#chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #bsd #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #angst

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dazaii-sann · 3 years

Text

DAZAI x CHUUYA FANFICTION: ONE-SHOT [HUMAN]

"Chuuya~" A whine from a boy dressed in black annoyed Chuuya out of his wits.

"What?! We're currently on a fucking mission!"

The Mafiosi looked at the partners with confusion. Their expressions are so laughably good.

"So… This is the double black?" The horde of Mafiosi said at the back of their minds.

"Damn it Dazai! The enemy's here."

"Eh?~ But I still wanna mess with Chuuya~"

"The actual fuck?"

The port mafia goons got no other choice but to protect those port mafia top brass from the enemy's flying bullets.

Did they really bring Port Mafia to its highest glory? These two brats?

After a minute of bickering, they finally dropped their childish demeanor.

"Let's go, Chuuya."

Then something unimaginable happened. Well, unimaginable but expected. They're are the DOUBLE BLACK in the first place.

They spelled doom, literally.

Darkness engulfs the whole place, including the enemy's lifeline. Black… That's the only visible hue in sight.

In the center of that immense and dense object, there lies Chuuya, writhing in agony, eliminating the enemies out of his view.

Blood gushed from his mouth, his eyes, and even his nose. His ability might be destructive but it takes a toll on his body.

Corruption. The tainted sorrow's true form.

He's made as a weapon, to keep Arahabaki, the god of destruction, contained and under control.

He might be one of those ten calamities that might destroy the world. Who knows? Only time can tell.

When viewed from the onlookers' perspective, he seems so terrifying. Something out of this world, inhumane, a possible threat, and a harbinger of danger and death.

But a pair of sinister eyes saw it from a different angle.

He's just an insecure child.

He just wants someone to treat him as a human, and not as a disposable tool.

He's just a man who's afraid to lead, still frustrated with his former organization's demise.

Dazai saw it all.

Chuuya is Chuuya.

Not a vessel for Arahabaki.

Not the king of the Sheep.

Not one of the Port Mafia's candidates for being an executive.

Not as a tool that brings destruction wherever it goes.

He's just Chuuya. Nothing more. Nothing less.

And for him, that's the only thing that matters.

Chuuya already built his own identity, someone that he should be proud of.

He's such a fashion icon.

He's becoming a good and promising leader.

His special inclination towards wine.

That identity is someone that he wants to treasure, someone whom he wants to hold close.

And the identity that he longs to live on in someone's heart.

He wants to be remembered.

Not as a vessel.

Not as a weapon.

But as Chuuya, and the characteristics that he built based on himself.

And Dazai accepted it all.

All. As in everything.

Chuuya's inhumanity included.

During their Port Mafia breaks, he grabbed Chuuya's right hand, intertwining his with it. He plays with a small scar engraved in Chuuya's right wrist to always remind him that he's human. Much more human than what Chuuya thinks he is.

Chuuya is Dazai's most treasured human. Probably the most beautiful human that he ever saw.

And the human that he wants to live with for the rest of his life.

What's that emotion swirling inside his chest? Ah… Yes, that must be love that everyone's talking about.

That clichéd word repeatedly used by a lot of people.

He never thought that he might get caught by that cursed four-lettered word but now here he is, enslaved by that same word with one syllable.

And seeing Chuuya like that, in the middle of that dark void hurts him. A lot.

Oh… So he's capable of feeling those things? He never knew, not until that very moment.

He wanted to hold him, touch him, and claim him.

Through him, he's able to feel those human emotions.

When he's with Chuuya, his humanity was brought into emergence. It's always there, his humanity, but he's just too good at hiding it that even himself couldn't find it.

And Chuuya found it for him.

Dazai could no longer watch his partner suffer inside that darkness, the darkness that he hates the most.

In just a simple touch of a bandaged hand, a rampaging beast can be tamed.

But wait, it's not a hand.

Dazai leaned closer to Chuuya and he claimed his lips.

At that moment, the void starts to dissipate. Chuuya's corruption marks ceased existing. His eyes turned back into blue, and the first thing he saw is Dazai, kissing him beneath the moonlight, kissing him in between the debris and ruins caused by his corruption.

Without even realizing it, Chuuya responded to that kiss.

And Dazai's lips, it's too warm, like of a human.

Dazai's known as the Demon Prodigy of the Port Mafia, someone to be feared and respected.

He's cold-hearted, they say…

But how can they explain the warmth that Chuuya felt from him?

Dazai's no demon, but a human.

And to Chuuya, that's all that matters.

Minutes drift into space and Chuuya's strength ran out, probably because of corruption. Their lips parted and Chuuya's body was about to kiss the surface but a hand stopped it from collapsing.

Dazai, then allows Chuuya to rest on his lap like they always do. He ran his fingers on Chuuya's reddish long hair, attempting to calm Chuuya's heart from the fear that corruption caused him.

"Dazai…" He heard Chuuya whispered his name. He's still sleeping though. Probably, he met Dazai on the land of dreams, annoying him like always.

Dazai let out a smile, a genuine smile that rarely comes out from his lips. "I'm here, Chuuya."

They're the Double Black, the most terrifying rivalry in history.

One is a demon, and the other one is the destruction…

… But they are each others' favorite humans.

-END-

#dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #soukoku #dazai x chuuya #bungou stray dogs

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aspoonofsugar · 5 years

Note

What do you think of the Hunting Dogs? Specifically, what do you think of Tecchou and Jouno's role in the narrative (and Tachihara's)?

Hello anon!

I have briefly mentioned the Hunting Dogs here and here

These are some general thoughts on them I am quoting from the two metas I linked:

The Hunting Dogs are so obsessed by the idea of justice that they forget to balance it with empathy. All in all, if there are characters in the series who are “too correct” that would be them and not Yosano. They have failed to realize it so far, but it is possible they will have to rethink their ways.

After all, they are fighting against a group called the Decay of Angels. It has been said that this group wants to destroy the same society the Hunting Dogs want to protect and they are clearly using people’s ideals and biased concepts of right and wrong to manipulate them and turn them into accomplices of their scheme. All in all, they are the perfect enemies for the Hunting Dogs and the arc is clearly hinting at the fact that the Dogs will have to face their shortcomings (after all the current chapters are called Skyfall).

And again:

The Hunting Dogs are so convinced that they are the heroes who should punish criminals that they don’t even realize that the people they are trying to kill are innocent. They are so sure to be the right side that they can’t see that they have become pawns of that same criminal organization that they are supposed to stop.

I think that these two extracts highlight two ideas connected to the HD.

1) The danger of justice without empathy.

2) The hypocrisy behind some ideals people can embrace.

The first point can be easily summarized by using two words mentioned in Yosano’s story:

“Correctness” stands for justice, whereas “kindness” stands for empathy. In short, what is suggested is that judging a person only because of the results of their actions ignoring the feelings and the reasons why they took their choices is detrimental.

However, this is what the Hunting Dogs are doing:

Fukuchi is Fukuzawa’s childhood friend, but he has no hesitation in hunting and killing Fukuzawa’s subordinates even if it is implied he himself might not personally want it. He does so just because they have been identified as criminals.

In short they seem to be in the story to explore this idea:

Justice is a weapon. It can be used to cause harm, but it cannot protect or save others.

Dazai Osamu

The second point is interesting because it shows that deep down the HD are really no different from the stray dogs (both the mafia and the ADA) they despise so much.

Let’s consider this:

Here Tachihara is talking about the HD, but it is not by chance that his words could very well be true for the mafia as well:

This perfectly shows that ironically the HD are not much different from the mafiosi who are ready to kill others to maintain Mori’s idea of peace.

The HD are proud because they see themselves as heroes of justice. They are not stray dogs, but dogs selected and adopted by a master (aka the governement) and this makes them better than others. At least, this is probably what they force themselves to believe.

The ironic thing is of course that all of them are portrayed with attributes society would consider problematic.

Teruko is sadistic and violent, while Jouno enjoys psychologically torturing people. Finally Tachihara is in the HD simply because he wants to find a place to belong.

All in all, among the four subordinates, Tecchou is the one who probably genuinely believes in justice, but his idea is simplicistic and naive as it was explained in point one.

In short, the HD are imperfect humans just like everybody else and they have found a reason of living in their organization just like the members of the ADA and of the mafia did.

This is also why they are so easily manipulated. It is because in order to truly think about “right” and “wrong” in a constructive way, they should let go of the labels they use to read the world. However, they can’t because if they did they could very well lose themselves.

In the end the HD are foils of the detectives just like the mafiosi, but they are so in a different way.

The mafiosi are who the detectives could become if they were to completely lose themselves in their most violent and darkest parts, while the HD are who the detectives could become if they were to embrace simplicistic ideals over people. This is also why this arc has been particularly hard on Kunikida since among the members of the ADA he is the one who risks to do so the most.

I will now briefly discuss the connections between each HD and one member of the ADA they foil. Since the arc is not over, some of these ideas must be considered generally and we have to see how they will play out.

1) Fukuzawa ishares a past with Fukuchi exactly like he does with Mori:

Fukuchi is said to be a war hero and to have been granted a godly sword:

It is not known if the sword is supposed to have some special power, but from the way people talk about it, it seems also some kind of honorable gift. The director has received a similar gift at the beginning of the arc:

However, differently from Fukuchi, his role in the war is considered something which should stay hidden:

In short, the two men share a common past, have both built an organization and are proud of it. However, Fukuchi is a person society has completely accepted to the point he was given a title and a unit, whereas Fukuzawa has fought to leave his own past behind and to live a better life, but the moment he succeeds his past catches up with him:

2) Jouno has been clearly associated to Dazai:

Dazai himself comments they would go along pretty well because of their similarity. They are two cynics who have fun provoking their far more idealistic partners (Kunikida and Tecchou). What is more, they are both said to be experts at interrogating people.

This highlights the fact that both Dazai and Jouno are very good at reading others. Dazai is said multiple times to have eyes who can see everything, whereas Jouno claims that he can use his enhanced senses to perceive more things than others.

All in all the way Jouno is described during his official introduction is interesting:

Apart from his ability being called Priceless Tears which might suggest there is more to his eyes being kept closed, there is the fact that he is called the king of avidya.

I am not an expert of hinduism, but from what I understood thanks to @hamliet avidya can be seen as “ignorance” or “self-deception”.

The title fits Jouno who enjoys pointing out to others what they want to ignore about themselves:

However, the question is if Jouno himself can overcome his own ignorance and if he is being honest with himself. When it comes to this, I think his relationship with Tecchou might give us some interesing hints which could be developed in an interesting way.

In a sense, Jouno and Tecchou’s relationship seems similar to both Dazai and Kunikida’s partnership and potentially to soukoku too.

The soukoku’s similarities so far are superficial in the sense that both partnerships are made of a combination between a person who is extremely intelligent (Dazai and Jouno respectively) and one who is extremely strong (Chuuya and Tecchou). What is more, despite the fact that the two members are often coupled together, they don’t go along well.

However, despite these similarities, there is a key difference between Tecchou and Jouno’s partnership and Dazai’s one with both Chuuya and Kunikida and it is that so far Jouno has been far less successful than Dazai in going on his partner’s nerves.

So far, Tecchou has not been annoyed in the slightest by Jouno’s attempts to go in his way:

And he has also won their interrogation match:

This is interesting and it might have to do with the HD as a group having a far less nuanced idea of right and wrong than the agency does. All in all the agency deals with gray cases and some of his members like Dazai and Ranpo are not really interested in right and wrong, while others like Kenji seems to have a pretty vague idea of these two concepts. So it makes sense that in such an environment Kunikida is constantly challenged by his comrades. This is also something positive because Kunikida risks to become too rigid in following his ideals. At the same time he can inspire his comrades too:

All in all Kunikida’s ideals guide the agency and the agency keeps Kunikida in check and avoids that he goes too far in pursuing them.

However, the HD fight for justice and this is all:

So, it makes sense that Jouno’s attempts to challenge the dog who embodies justice the most fail.

However, this is interesting when it comes to Jouno. After all, why does Tecchou go on his nerves so much?

Jouno explains that Tecchou’s spirit lacks artistry. I think this is a way to say that Tecchou does not understand nuance and has a simplicistic vision of the world. This might be true, but why does Jouno care? Isn’t he a HD too? And if he is, shouldn’t he fight for justice too? It is possible that Jouno doesn’t actually like justice so much and might understand that it is an oversimplification. However, he doesn’t seem to care about people either and he enjoys seeing them suffer. In a sense, he might embody the darkest aspect of justice which is not interested in being fair, but simply in punishing someone and in seeing them fall apart.

3) As stated above, Tecchou’s foil is Kunikida:

This confrontation is interesting because it is really two different systems of ideals coming into conflict. This is also symbolized by their respective abilities.

On one hand Kunikida’s notebook is representative of his ideals and his power uses it to make them become concrete things. On the other hand Tecchou’s sword represents justice. The choice of having these two characters collide is interesting because one can easily see their conflict as a representation of the one between “the word” and “the sword”.

Kunikida’s ideals are made for people and what he wants is not to let people die in front of him. All in all, Kunikida is learning that ideals should bend and be flexible when it comes to people even if they must not be discarded. This is why in Moving Ahead Alone he doesn’t change his schedule to meet a person he admires, but he does so when it is about saving a little girl.

All in all Kunikida wants his ideals to spread and people to embrace them:

He might not go at it in the best way possible, but he still believes people can change and can be educated. After all he used to be a teacher.

Tecchou’s ideals are about justice and “fairness”:

He believes that bad deeds should be punished and good deeds should be rewarded and has decided to become a weapon to do so.

Let’s highlight that Tecchou seems to be extremely serious about this:

He is ready to be cut by his sword (aka justice) himself if he were to do something wrong and he is serious both about cutting criminals down, but also about protecting people he deems admirable. However, the problem is that it is not sufficient that he genuinely wishes to be fair to ensure that the world is. For example, he claims that he will not kill the members of the ADA and will give them a fair trial, but the whole reason why the detectives are running is that a fair trial is impossible:

So, Tecchou wants to establish justice, but he can’t because he is nothing more than an individual with a biased vision of the world exactly like all the others.

4) I don’t have many thoughts on Teruko, so I won’t write about her. We will see if she is given more focus later on. I find her power interesting, though.

5) Tachihara is a character linked to Yosano since the both of them are basically trying to overcome the death of the same person. I have briefly talked about it in the Yosano meta I linked above and I won’t repeat myself.

As for now, I think it is important to highlight that Tachihara foils Atsushi.

They have both been considered worthless by their guardians:

They both might have ended up becoming criminals:

But were found by an organization which gave them a new purpose and made them feel useful. Because of these two groups they have been usingtheir powers to help society.

Their foiling is made pretty obvious in the chapters centered on the Hunting Dogs since Tachihara is our main POV character there just like Atsushi is for the ADA.

What we learn about him in those chapters is that he really just wants to be recognized just like Atsushi (and Akutagawa):

At the same time he is using his job in the HD as an excuse to lash out on others when his brother is concerned:

All in all, hating Yosano for what happened is wrong since Yosano herself was a victim, but Tachihara still does so because he probably needs someone to blame. What his more, his role as a policeman gives him the perfect excuse to take revenge. In short, Tachihara has issues similar to Atsushi and shows very clearly that trying to overcome them by becoming “a good person” is something which won’t work:

Despite them being criminals he has grown to care for some people in the mafia and this goes against the coping mechanism he embraced and which might be overcome at one point because of these cracks.

At the same time, Tachihara also shows that killing other people to settle a score just ends up hurting others and solves nothing and this is something Akutagawa must learn:

Tachihara’s actions to avenge his brother hurt someone else’s little sister and it is probable that made Tachihara himself the target of revenge.

In conclusion, the HD exist to embody this concept:

Morality is a prison who gives people happiness because it makes them think that they are in the right and this gives them comfort. The Decay of Angels want to destroy this concept. However, they too are wrong because all in all morality together with other coping mechanisms are things humans come up with because they want to live. And to live it what everyone deep down wants:

In the end Gogol’s final scream of free will highlights exactly this. The HD are no different and they have just to accept it.

Thank you for the ask!

#bsd #bsd meta #hunting dogs #armed detective agency #ochi fukuchi #fukuzawa yukichi #dazai osamu #jouno saigiku #teccho suehiro #kunikida doppo #tachihara michizou #atsushi nakajima #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

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living-in-the-state-of-dreaming · 5 years

Note

Since there was a scenario about yandere Chuuya, would it be alright with you if I requested one about yandere! Dazai? Maybe something like someone figured out about Dazai’s yandere tendency’s and their trying to get s/o away from him, even though they don’t wanna leave him because they really actually love him? What would his thoughts be during that moment and how would he handle the situation/ the person? I hope I explained this properly and I hope this isn’t too detailed of the idea.

Certainly! ^~^ And don’t worry you explained it perfectly! I just hope that this is alright as this is my first time writing for Dazai just like it was with Chuuya so I hope you enjoy it. I’m very sorry about the wait though. x_x

Yandere! Osamu Dazai Scenario.

Osamu Dazai had always been good at covering his tracks. It had been one of the many reasons as to why he was so respected and feared during his time as an executive in the Port Mafia. The youngest in history. Purposely leaving bread crumbs for others to follow was but one of the many ways he had lured people out and into the open before they tumbled right into his carefully and strategically placed traps without being the wiser. It had also been one of the ways in which he had eluded the agents of the Port mafia that he knew had been looking for him for so long during the time in which he had been in hiding before going underground with the help of an associate of his.

So when he had been approached by his darling s/o’s former lover who had spoken the grim promise as a dark glare of hatred had been over the young man’s face Dazai had nearly been impressed. The only time he’d seen that type of glare was when he’d done something to piss off the Chibi. Though he’d truly thought nothing of it and had only looked at the said individual with an innocent and polite expression, saying that he didn’t know what he was talking about as he acted none the wiser, which only seemed to aggravate the males anger even more as the glare darkened; and just for a moment he had seen the flicker of a snarl as his lips had curled for just a moment. It was that very snarl that had sent a chill of delight through Dazai as his more mischievous and devious side began to stir as the words all rose to the tip of his tongue, waiting in anticipation to be spoken for the purpose of seeing if he could get more anger out of his male. The fact that his temper only reminded him of a certain chibi’s own temper was something that only pushed on that desire. Yet, he didn’t say them and instead kept the smile that was currently on his expression. Was he threatened by this individual and the glare in their eyes? Of course not.

Why would he be afraid of a dog?

The only reason he had even stayed seated there was the fact that he wanted to humor this individual and out of curiosity. He’d wanted to see whether or not this person was here for the reason he suspected and he’d been right.

“ Stay the hell away from s/o you bastard. S/o deserves better than you and I will do whatever it takes to protect her. “

These had been the words that he had spoken threatening, promising and clear before he had left out the door and as he had Dazai’s eyes stayed on his retreating form; before his gaze had returned down to the polished wooden floors as he didn’t speak a word.

In truth he hadn’t taken it seriously at all. Until his darling began to ask if he had talked to the same young man, saying that he’d texted her and told her something that she clearly found disconcerting. At seeing how reluctant and hesitant she was to speak up about what he’d told her suspicion had shot down Dazai’s spine like someone had poured a bucket of ice water down it, before later being joined by anger upon reading the messages on s/o’s phone when she had been asleep.

He had been expected some brief messages advising her to keep her distance from him, but no. No, it was far more intense and far less vague than that. The person was deliberately trying to pull s/o away from him, not simply make her cautious and from the underlying meanings beneath the words, it was very clear to Dazai that this mans intent wasn’t innocent and pure at all

He wanted his s/o for himself.

For a long moment dark chocolate hues had stared at the words on the phone but as each syllable sunk in the emotion drained from them before turning them cold and devoid of emotion. The only emotion left was the merciless anger only seen by those who had been unfortunate enough in the mafia and those who had been unlucky enough to have been interrogated by him. Those who worked under him had been lucky enough to walk away with their lives but those who were not…..

The ways he could make this individual suffer began to churn like clockwork inside of Dazai’s head each one as merciless as the last and ones that would leave his life in pieces. It was a fitting punishment for daring to think they could simply take her away from him after all.

This wouldn’t do. After all, this man clearly knew too much and wasn’t to be taken lightly. As stupid and reckless as he seemed he was still very much a threat and that was very clear with how he was already affecting his s/o. The rumors were affecting her and that alone raised red flags inside of Dazai but he knew he couldn’t act too quickly.

This would take time and patience. Luring the mouse into their inevitable demise always did after all but until then he would need to distract and occupy his darling and chase that damn suspicion from her thoughts. He had no problem with that after all.~

As the days passed he had done just that, spoiling his s/o with his attention and taking them anywhere they wanted to go. He’d called in with the director and Kunikdia saying he wouldn’t be able to work for at least a few days but he didn’t say why he’d just called Kunikida, waited for him to pick up, said what he needed and then hung up with the same cheery and polite tone while ignoring anything that Kunikida had said. He could still picture the fuse that he’d’ve blown after getting that call and it still made him feel delighted. He had enjoyed their company just as he always had and the smile that he’d shown was completely genuine, not the pleasant and innocent one that he would often wear.

When they eventually arrived back to his apartment she was so worn out that he’d had to carry her over to the futon. As soon as her head had met the pillow she had instantly fallen asleep on the futon and he couldn’t help the smile that came to him at watching how at home and at ease she was in his company, he felt the same way after all. After so long of feeling nothing and being without hope, she’d been one of the few things that had given him it, a warmth that he loved nearly as much as he loved her. It was just a shame that that pure heart was now his, who was very far from being the innocent angel despite what his innocent and pleasant smile showed to the fools who fell for it. Still, he couldn’t help leaning down and dropping a small kiss on her forehead, doing so softly as to not wake her before he’d left the room and apartment. Quietly locking the door to his apartment behind him as he did so.

As the cool night air met him his hands went into the pockets of his long coat, each stride being relaxed and eased as they mirrored the expression on his face. His footsteps only stopped when he reached his destination, an apartment that had not been leased in weeks, having gotten the keys from the person who owned it his fingers closed around the key before pulling it out and unlocking the door. Stepping inside before closing it behind him; the same song that he enjoyed listening and singing along with left him as he made his way further into the house.

“ You can’t do a double suicide all on your own. Boom boom it takes two who don’t wanna die.~ “

Making his way down the stairs to the basement area of the apartment, Dazai’s eyes fell on male seated in the chair. Arms cuffed behind his back while being otherwise bound to the chair by the rope that he had made sure to tighten to prevent him from escaping in the event that he woke up while he was away. By the looks of things the drug that he’d slipped into the males drink at the cafe had seemed to have affected him nicely since he still seemed to be out cold; however he knew the side effects of sleep that the drug had given him would be wearing off in-

Just as this thought crossed his mind the man stirs from his sleep with a quiet groan followed by the predictable groans and muffled questionings. Dazai did not respond to this however and only watched as he slipped back into consciousness before he finally broke the silence with the same cheerful and polite tone of voice he would often use.

“ And good morning to you~ You certainly woke up sooner then I thought you would. “

As soon as he said this the male’s eyes widened with shocked fear while his body had stiffened before quickly looking up only for that same glare to return to his eyes. He didn’t say anything though and instead, he gave a tug to his wrists. A lot of good that did, it was a feeble attempt really since there was a very small chance that this male was going to be able to free his hands from the cuffs that he had purposely tightened around his wrists but still Dazai continued to watch as he attempted, before inevitably giving up.

“ Let me go you son of a bitch! “

The biting words that escaped this person’s lips as the snarl was now clear on his expression made a smirk comes to Dazai’s expression as his eyes darkened. Yes, this was what he’d seen, he knew this would happen, the prey always bared its teeth and tried to intimidate its captors by showing its teeth. How many times had he seen it on the faces of those who they had captured for interrogation? This man reminded him of the many who he had put in a similar place. A mixture of his former partner whom he couldn’t stand and those who he thought of as little more as dirt under his shoe.

“ I’m sorry but I’m afraid I can’t do that. “

The words escaped him smoothly and politely but the dark undertone in his voice screamed louder than the words that left him. He could feel the uneasiness that settled inside of the other male as the silence that he was met with in response spoke louder than any protest that he could’ve given him; and it was one that he currently found himself reveling in as he began to walk over to where he was sitting.

“ When you approached me at the cafe I really didn’t take it seriously. I was going to ignore it and brush it off, after all, why would I be threatened by you? But then you just had to go texting s/o about my past. Even going so far as to try to take her for yourself after implementing your little plan. “ speaking in an exasperated tone of voice before stopping only when he was standing directly in front of him. As Dazai stood in front of him, his taller frame towered over the others bound and restrained figure before him, the same merciless coldness that many had seen overtook any trace of a smile as anger was the only thing that remained in his eyes and as he spoke again; his voice was now devoid of anything else. Mirroring the cold anger that could be seen in his eyes perfectly.

“ Did you really think that I was going to let that slide? “

If the fear that came to his mans face said anything it was that he was now deeply regretting his decision and he should because he certainly wasn’t here to just chat with him. He’d drugged him, kidnapped him and devised this entire plan all for the purpose of teaching this guy a lesson he would not soon forget and this wasn’t even the best part, but fortunately for him, he was mere moments away from being able to get to that. The thought alone made a smirk come to his expression as the same look remained in his eyes “ Not that it matters. After all, there wasn’t a single person that didn’t talk or break for that matter after I was through with them. You won’t be any different. Although “ raising one of his hands before placing the other on his forearm the sounds of his knuckles cracking sounded through the room “ Just for you I’ll personally take my time in making it agonizing, it’s the perfect punishment for you trying to take my s/o after all. “

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animemangasoul · 5 years

Text

I’ll Be There Because I Want To

Summery: Chuuya is late and Akutagawa wants to go look for him despite Dazai-san's disapproval.

In which Akutagawa is too worried about Chuuya to listen to anyone else.

Chapter 1/2

Gen

Akutagawa narrowed his eyes, brows furrowing at the top of his forehead in what almost resembled worry. Ignoring Dazai-san's instructions to the others for a second, he scanned their surroundings for the fifth time. Chuuya-san had yet to show up to the meeting spot.

Biting his lip in thought, he tried to tune out the weretigers annoying prattling. There had to be a reason why the older male hadn’t made it to the meeting spot right? He was most likely late. Still-

He couldn’t help but let the unsettling feeling gnawing at his stomach fill his mind with unease. It wasn’t like Chuuya-san to be late. And even if he was, he almost always let Akutagawa know in advance. Just as he expected the same kind of attention to detail from the rabid dog himself. Chuuya not being here meant that something could have gone horribly wrong, and Akutagawa was loathe to admit that he couldn’t push down the overwhelming feeling of going after him clawing at his chest.

“Oi, Akutagawa.”

That was Dazai-san. Snapping his head in the direction of his ex-mentor, he tried to focus back on the conversation that had been going on behind his back. Both the detective agency members as well as his own subordinates were looking at him with something akin to curiosity. Not Gin however. Her gaze was an entirely knowing one. He scowled at her. She just shrugged and looked away.

Stepping towards him, Dazai-san tilted his head in an almost childlike curiosity. It immediately set the port mafia member on edge. “Am I boring you Akutagawa-kun~,” he singsonged, a hint of a dangerous glint in his eyes. Akutagawa swallowed thickly.

He would be lying if he said that at the moment his former mentor wasn’t scaring him a little, so he just shook his head and calmly said no.

“Then why don’t you try and pay attention to what we’re all trying to figure out rather than stare of at the distance!”

The smile Dazai-san was sporting was outright terrifying and for a split second, it almost felt like being thrown back into those dark days filled with blood and pain and suffering and terror at the heels of this very man. Akutagawa tried his hardest to not take a step back. He refused to bow down to his former teacher anymore. Even if his limps shook the slightest degree, he stood firm. Somehow Dazai-san's smile softened a bit, and Akutagawa didn’t understand why.

“I’m sorry Dazai-san,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to ignore our mission.”

“Of course you didn’t.” Clapping him on the shoulder lightly, the former port mafia member turned back around to the huddled group again and beckoned him over with his hand. It was a clear order to get back in line and stop making unnecessary fuzz.

Any other day and Akutagawa would have scrambled to do as he was told. Any other day and even the slight approval in Dazai-san's voice would have made him straighten up with pride. But-

“Chuuya-san is late,” he blurted out.

“What,” Dazai-san had turned back around again.

Biting his bottom lip hard, the younger man cursed at himself silently. What the fuck was he thinking. Why did he even say that?

“Chuuya is not always on time Akutagawa-kun~,” Dazai-san said slowly. Voice right back to being condescending again.

Akutagawa glared. “I know that,” he bit out.

“Then why are we talking about this again?” It was obvious Dazai-san didn’t care at all about this particular conversation, and frankly Akutagawa could feel the humiliating stares of everyone around him burning into his back. His face heated up.

“He’s never late for things like this,” he gritted out. God knew why he still refused to back down on this. It’s not like Chuuya-san didn’t know how to take care of himself or how to get out of tough situations. But something deep in his gut was telling him something was wrong, and Akutagawa couldn’t for the life of him let it go. “Chuuya-san might be in trouble Dazai-san.”

Dazai-san's eyes narrowed in annoyance and the weretiger behind him widened in concern. “It’s sweet that you are beside yourself with worry,” Dazai-san said. “But I can assure you that Chuuya is very much capable of taking care of himself and you doubting him only serves as an insult to his skills. So if you could stop putting the faith of the city at risk for your own petty insecurities that would be appreciated.”

Every word that came out of his mouth stung deep inside him, in a place Akutagawa had been sure he’d closed off long time ago. But now it felt like the scarred wounds were being ripped open with force greater than his strength and dug into with sharp familiar nails of degrading hatred.

Mouth dry and throat bopping with a sound he refused to emit, Akutagawa swallowed down the burning sensation of shame he was feeling and tried desperately to compose himself. Of course Dazai-san was right. Of course he was putting the whole mission and truce between both organization at risk, and of course he was being dumb and stupid as always, but-

-----

“We’re family,” Chuuya-san had said to him once during one of his drunken moments. He’d put his warm finger against Akutagawa’s thin wrist and squeezed gently before muttering over and over again as if he didn’t think the younger man could hear him “We’re family”. It had been so honest and sincere that Akutugawa hadn’t been able to breathe for a second. “You’re drunk Chuuya-san,” he’d whispered back after barely getting past the painful feeling in his chest. “Let’s get you home.”

“No,” the other man had snapped. Face raising from the table and eyes locking him down in place while shining with unexpected clarity. “We’re family Ryuu-chan, so count on me sometimes k?”

“Ok,” he’d said. Eyes burning and lips trembling. “Ok.”

-The next day he’d told Chuuya-san to count on him too. Partly because he wanted the man to know that he trusted him but also because he had desperately wanted to know if Chuuya-san remembered what he’d said yesterday. Remembered what he had promised him. So when the other man had smiled, ruffled his hair and put his beloved hat on top of his head, just to say “I know. We’re family right,” something deep within him cracked a little, and he found himself hiding his face behind his hair and that well positioned hat.

He hadn’t cried, but Akutagawa remembered that he had never felt as close to.

...Chuuya-san said they were family...

...Chuuya-san said he was counting on him...

...Chuuya-san said they were family...

“I’m sorry Dazai-san,” he finally spoke up. Voice soft, but steady enough to carry over to the group huddling at the corner behind the construction site. “But Chuuya-san might be in need of help, and I want to go.”

Dazai-san blinked. “And if I say no?”

Clenching his fist around the phone in his pocket, Akutagawa straightened his back. “I would go anyways.”

“Oh?” That dangerous glint was back in his eyes. “Decided to be someone else's lap dog from now on?”

The outraged look on the weretiger’s face might have been funny if Akutagawa believed in that type of humour.

“No,” he said. Fingers unclenching entirely. Because things couldn’t have been anymore clearer for him now. Couldn’t have been more honest. He wasn’t lying to himself. “Chuuya-san is my family. And as you already know, I don’t leave my family behind.”

The “unlike you” rang loud and clear between them, and Dazai-san almost looked impressed.

The funny thing was, that it hadn’t been Akutagawa’s intentions at all. Not leaving family behind always came down to Gin in his mind. He didn’t leave her behind, so of course he wouldn’t leave Chuuya-san now either. It was only natural. But he wouldn’t try to clarify. Dazai-san could take it however he wanted it to.

“Go then,” his former mentor said. “We don’t really need you here.”

It didn’t hurt as much as he thought. Frankly the sense of relief he felt from those words was almost staggering.

Nodding at the group, he locked eyes with his sister for a split second before he turned around and walked away.

Chuuya-san needed him.

#bungou stray dogs #Ryunosuke Akutagawa #nakahara chuuya #chuuaku #my very first bsd fic #but I love these two #and I just wanted to write a fic about their friendship #Akutagawa deserves to be happy #and have someone older he can trust #and I think Chuuya can be that person #fanfic #fic #chapter 1 #dazai osamu #bsd #enjoy

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parkchuuya · 4 years

Text

Foreword: The interpretation better known as unpopular opinion by the blogger seeks to give the reader another point of view but mainly to share the blogger's thoughts. It does not necessarily mean to disregard other opinions from the experts. The blogger is just a casual fan who in many reasons can't put down a pen. It may or may not resonate with your own interpretation. If it doesn't, I apologize. Just scroll down. But if it does, welcome to the club.

Date Written: June 3, 2020

Atsushi and Akutagawa has always been ride or die for Dazai.

Dazai's kids are more rampaging than Odasaku's orphans. They just don't go well together. In fact, they would be willing to kill each other when lazily pushed. But these two no matter how much hatred they have, they could create a blast when they work together, so yes Dazai being a fan of "teamwork makes the dream work". But it was not that these two were made for each other to be a younger version of Double Black. In fact, their representation to their senior is much more than just a Shin Soukouku. They both reminded Dazai of his past and present and possibly future.

Back in his Port Mafia days, it's always been fight or die so Akutagawa had to be strong or stronger in order to live because that's Port Mafia. Imagine having the power to control the underground, you have to be strict and merciless and more authorative. Akutagawa's health is crucial that's why Dazai had to break his bones before anyone could kill him for good. This rather cruel treatment Akutagawa received from his mentor crafted a somewhat goal to him as his motive to fulfill the standards Dazai had set. It became his ultimate goal that later gone wrong and bloomed a feeling of anger and hatred. This became more intense when Dazai had gone MIA, abandoned his mission, and left Port Mafia. It's as if Akutagawa had lost all strands of hopes he was willing to build to get that approval and of course who wouldn't get hurt like that. He's ghosted.

But did he really not care about his eldest son?

I think Dazai purposely left that kind of impression to Akutagawa so he would hate him and continue to get stronger and one day prove to him how he gotten strong; and that he would match his soon-to-be partner in crime, Atsushi my baby. That's why whilst fighting his own demons, Dazai managed to escape before anyone could notice that he's sinking... and he wanted Akutagawa to apply all he has taught him since day 1 and one day, be able to finally realize what it meant to be "strong".

On the other hand, Dazai had to tame the beast and recruit him to become a member of Armed Detective Agency. While Akutagawa is in the dark side, Atsushi with his naive, innocent and pure posture needs to be on the lighter side since opposite attracts. Dazai knows Akutagawa will do everything to surpass his goals so he thought he should be fine in the Port Mafia- secretly hiding his intention of preparing the two as mini double black version for the bloody battle against Fyodor the rat Dostoyevsky. As a detective, Dazai's treatment to Atsushi is soft compared to Akutagawa who sufferred in a lot of killings. By murdering people, Akutagawa had somehow found a reason to live not for himself but also for his sister, Gin. Unlike Akutagawa, Atsushi was more vulnerable, more tender that if he's been told to kill himself, he would arguably, eventually rather do over a period of unfortunate time. So Dazai had to carefully mold him and build barriers to Atsushi's fragile vessel sans giving him the idea of being "privileged".

That does mean different treatment means biased?

I don't think that's the case.

Dazai Osamu and The Dark Era, Chapter 3

In the Dark Era, when Odasaku asked Dazai about his subordinate Akutagawa I was convinced that Dazai already "approved" Akutagawa's strength because if not, then there's no need for him to passively invite him in Port Mafia. There's no need to waste time of hard training without special treatment. And the question still lingered at the tip of my tongue waiting to recall of what we known as an excuse or "reason". I think Dazai saw Akutagawa in him. No emotion at all. Just a powerful stray dog running around the alley slums, doing everything to survive. He's filled with anger and revenge and that's what keeps driving him to hold on. Even if it's cruel, even if it's painful. Back to history, Dazai Osamu appreciated Ryunosuke Akutagawa and he looked up to him so bad that it affected him when the latter committed suicide. This drove the aspiring author to follow the footsteps of his idol. In BSD, their roles are reversed. It was Akutagawa who was longing for Dazai's appreciation and Akutagawa seems not a fan of his mentor's suicidal habits.

The rather odd truth I found by their relationship was simply assuming. The retrospect taught me to look again in another point of view. Akutagawa is Dazai's past self, emotions, feelings, even boredom. He reminds him of what was the smell of bloodlust and violence again before he realized it was too late. It seems he "hates" Akutagawa because he still could not forgive himself for what happened though no one was saying it's easy. But after the exasperating fight with The Guild, he pulled off his mentor status and finally after a long period of time, he delivered the words by himself in person, "You've gotten strong", a few words enough for Akutagawa to realized Atsushi was right all along and his view of the world was twisted and wrong. Dazai knows it was the only resolution to pave a way for Akutagawa's character development and it needs to be him as his superior.

I think the miscommunication between these two were notably shown. It was like:

For Dazai: Action speaks louder than words; but

For Akutagawa: The pen is mightier than the sword.

Akutagawa's jealousy or should I say, envy as we follow the chapters and the episode was enormous that it blinded him from the very path he wanted to take. The paces became blurry and muddy it was like he stepped directly on a quicksand and he forgot what he should do at times of chaos that killing is not always the right solution. This is why Dazai could not reach him in the first season's ending song. He does not know when enough is enough and because they were both a shadow of darkness in the past, there was only one boat eligible for one person and Dazai chose to save no one nor himself. This could also explain at least for me, when Dazai touched Atsushi's head, Akutagawa cried in blood. The blood represents his anger saturated with confusion and betrayal. Why did it have to be Atsushi and not him. But this could also explain that the both of them were submerging and they needed someone whose heart is strong no ability could ever tear, someone whose soul is pure and innocent. Someone who understands both good and evil but proceeded with kindness. He did not choose between them. He simply sought salvation and by faith, he met Atsushi.

Changing the focus to Atsushi, who's been tortured in his childhood, tormented, and broken, he was way unfortunate than the both of them. For the sake of his mental health, Dazai had to guide him into the light even though it means staying with him in the present. He even let himself captured by the Port Mafia to obtain information regarding the 7 billion bounty put on Atsushi's head. If someone asks me, I think he's already melting the brick facade he built for himself and Atsushi was the only one who notices that he's trying to get better. Atsushi is the living proof of Odasaku's last words, to be on the side that saves the poor because his life will at least get better, that is... if you're trying to live. Why did he obey Odasaku aside from the fact that he was his only true friend? Wasn't it because he felt guilty or he's just sentimental? No. It's because... he actually wanted to taste how living actually is. And he did. Now, things are going to change. For him, for Akutagawa and also for Atsushi.

And for Dazai, he caught himself tangled by Atsushi's healing abilities. He reminds Dazai of the beauty of the world without violence. Atsushi's view might find argumentative but at least it's philisophical. Atsushi always find the right words whenever Dazai talks to him. A simple nod, and "yes" brought a slight suprise to him. It's Atsushi's nature that even knowing the good and evil, Atsushi wish to perceive good and kindness. And to this extent, the rotten past Dazai was trying to conceal felt a permission to be forgiven. It took only one touch in the forehead for him to approve of Atsushi and as he tried to get along with him, he is also learning and developing. Atsushi might open doors for Dazai and also for Akutagawa to completely move forward.

After the war shin sokoukou had gone through, Dazai showed us that these two when guide together, is like a perfect harmony that without realizing, compliment each others' strength and value thus also discrediting his contribution, for us to realize that one does not need any appreciation or recognition to realize your own worth.

You are worthy and it's something you should NEVER ask validation from nor apologize for.

That's all for today, I'm beat, notice me Chuuya senpai ;-;

Follow me on my anime amino account where I post all my bsd stuffs ;-;

http://aminoapps.com/p/y0iwdr

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #literary heroes #ryunosuke akutagawa #dazai osamu #bsd analysis

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aurorapillar · 5 years

Text

Title: a bird cage, faded in colour

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Characters: Chuuya Nakahara, Dazai Osamu, Mori Ougai (mentioned)

Summary: Chuuya is no stranger to pain even before he joins the mafia, but once Corruption awakens it becomes his constant companion

Even before he joins the Mafia, Chuuya is no stranger to pain, he crawls out of the wreckage of the lab worn and hurting, his body covered in bruises and his head thick with fog. Everything aches, but just for that moment he reveals in it because it's proof that he's alive.

The next couple years that follow have their fair share of pain as well, it's not always easy for him to find food on the streets and there's many a night he goes to bed with his stomach growling in anguish. He pushes through it though just like he pushes through the pain of the bruises and broken bones he receives, his ability is strong and he's found himself to be much more durable then the other street kids (just more proof he's not human, a voice in his head whispers, bringing with it a different kind of pain), but still there are occasions he knows it's better to just take the hits, to not draw unnecessary attention to himself by drawing upon his power. In a way, it's the feeling of being weak, of having to be cautious, that hurts more than any of the physical injuries he gets at those times.

After joining the Sheep, the pain in Chuuya's day to day life goes down drastically, there's strength in numbers and with a group of them working together it's easy to obtain the things they need; no longer are there any nights spent hungry or huddled up in a ball trying to stay warm while the wind whips through a too-thin shirt, anything they need they take. He's stronger now too, there's no need for him to retreat from or submit to anyone anymore, he's able to throw caution to the wind, dominating anyone who tries to go against them without going so much as a bruise.

Good things don't always last though and when Dazai and the Port Mafia first enter his life they bring with them fresh pain. He's grown used to being in control and so when Dazai's fingers wrap around the back of his neck, snuffing his ability out like one would a candle, he once again feels the old familiar pain of weakness creeping upon him. Being forced to cooperate with the stupid waste of bandages only drives that pain in deeper, but Chuuya's not one to just lie down and suffer, he pushes through does his best to cause his temporary partner as much frustration as he can in revenge for the pain.

When all is said and done though, none of the hurt he's felt up to the point prepares him for the pain of betrayal. The knife wound in his gut is agonizing, but it doesn't compare to the sheer pain in his heart as those he considered friends glare at him with hostile expressions and speak of killing him.

(It hurts, it hurts so much, but still, he forgives them, it's not their fault)

Joining the mafia brings with it a new set of pains, he's not the only ability user around anymore and for all his skill in fighting he's never had formal training before, more often than not he falls into his bed at night feeling bruised all over from being slammed into the mats. It's a good sort of pain though and he's a quick learner so it's not long before he leaves trying with only the pain of tired muscles rather than a beating.

(He can't do anything to train away the pain of Mori's punishments on the few occasions he messes up a mission though, can't use his ability to defend himself from it, all he can do is submit and remind himself that even he didn't have much of a choice, he still chose this life)

Sometimes the pain comes in his dreams too, it's never anything too bad, just the poking sensation of needles and bruising grips on his limbs, but there's always a painful sense of fear accompanying it. He's never quite sure if they're just dreams or memories, never can understand any of the words spoken in them, but he always awakens drenched in sweat and breathing hard.

Those dreams go away mostly after he discovers Corruption, something he would be grateful for if it hadn't brought new troubles with it. With Corruption's awakening pain becomes a never-ending presence in Chuuya's life, the first time he activates it, it feels like he's being ripped to shreds and even after Dazai shuts it off all he can do is collapse on the ground in agony as blood trickles out of his mouth and eyes.

(He's never quite sure if the sound of Dazai crying his name in terror as he falls unconscious is just a pain cause hallucination or if it really happened)

It takes him a week to wake up afterward and several more for the burning pain to disappear, and even then there's a dull ache in his bones that doesn't disappear. He mentions it to Mori's once during a checkup, but the man merely hums thoughtfully and tells Chuuya it will most likely fade, before adding that sometimes people need to suffer for the good of the organization.

(It doesn't fade, but Chuuya never brings it up again.)

He desperately wants to never use Corruption again, but Mori's is not one to ignore any tools in his arsenal and so a warehouse is set aside for them to test it in, Dazai always nearby to shut him down before he goes too far out of control. The first time he uses it on a mission is ironically of his own choice, the relationships he builds are of great importance to him and the sight of his dead friends during the Dragon's Head Conflict makes him angry enough to not care about the pain.

His actions net him an executive position and gives birth to the powerhouse duo Double Black, it's an exhilarating prize but at the same time a curse for he's proven the usefulness of Corruption and guaranteed he'll have to use it again.

And use it again he does, though thankfully not as often as he had feared. Whether it's out of consideration to Chuuya, or more likely just out of logic, Dazai always figures it into their plans as only a last resort, it's only under Mori's direct orders that they ever start off with it.

No matter how many times he uses it though, the agony of it never lessens; every time he activates it while his body carries out its rampage he remains trapped within his own mind, writhing in agony as his power tears him apart from the inside. It's only when Dazai activates his ability, shutting it down, and he's able to collapse into unconsciousness, that he's granted a reprieve.

Each time he uses it the lingering ache gets worse, no longer is it just a dull ache in his bones but a burning pain in his nerves and chest, he never says a word though just learns to work through the pain. There's no room for useless people in the mafia and he doesn't want people to think his pain makes him a liability, doesn't want to risk his position. He'll take to the physical pain over the pain of being alone again any day.

(He never even tells Dazai about it, he's come to trust the other boy with his life and loves him like a brother, but he's well aware of how cruel he can be. He doesn't want to risk his mockery or even worse risk being seen as weak.)

When the day comes that Dazai leaves the mafia, it is both a new pain and a relief to Chuuya. On the one hand he was angry, Chuuya was creature of loyalty, even if he hadn't really wanted to join in the first place, the moment he'd become part of the organization he'd devoted himself to it; Dazai didn't get to run away after he'd put so much effort into making Chuuya join, he didn't get to betray the mafia just like he'd made the Sheep betray Chuuya, it wasn't allowed!

(And maybe, just maybe, there's a small part of Chuuya that's hurt he didn't invite Chuuya to come with him, to leave a place where sometimes he felt more like a weapon than a person. He doesn't know how he'd have answered if Dazai had invited him, but he'd thought that maybe Dazai had also thought of him as family, so the fact that he hadn't hurt)

On the other hand though, with Dazai gone, Mori couldn't make Chuuya use Corruption, not when no one could stop him. As much as Mori's made Chuuya felt like just a weapon at times, Chuuya knew that he had plenty of value outside of Corruption, enough so that Mori wouldn't throw him away as a suicide attack.

With Dazai gone he'd be free of a bunch of pain, he'd no longer have to deal with an annoying waste of bandages, and he'd finally get the chance to make a name for himself outside of Double Black. When he thought of it like that, the situation really wasn't painful at all! And if it took a bottle of expensive wine for him to fully convince himself of that, well, no one but him had to know.

Of course, Dazai had to ruin it by showing up again four years later and pick away at the scabs covering all that pain, still, as annoyed as he was at being outwitted by Dazai yet again, it had been nice to fall back into their old habits of bantering with one another. He remembered Kouyou commenting once not long after they'd first been partnered that they squabble like a pair of siblings and the horrified looks they had both given her. Truth be told it had made Chuuya kind of happy, he certainly hadn't thought of Dazai as anything like a sibling back then, but it had been nice to interact with someone his own age who didn't fear his ability and would say whatever they wanted right to his face.

Those days were long gone though, the two of them were on different sides now, there would be no more team-ups where they spent just as long attacking each other with insults as they did taking out the enemy instead they would be each other's enemy. Or at least that was what he'd thought but then The Guild had attacked and the weretiger had proposed their organizations form an alliance, and suddenly he was back to fighting side by side with Dazai again, even if it was only for one night.

They had easily slipped back into their old roles, Dazai insulting Chuuya's appearance (and not for the first time in his life Chuuya wished he had a mind-reading ability so he could figure out if Dazai really thought his outfit was bad or if he was just messing with him; then again, Dazai's mind would probably be a terrifying thing to read) and Chuuya would sling back whatever insult he could think of to try and get a rise out of him. He knew he was going to be remembering the slight fear in Dazai voice when he'd threatened to send his address to all the women he'd made cry, for years to come.

Of course, it was just their luck then that one of the Guild members would be conscious and attack them as soon as Chuuya reached the doorway. Once again they switched back into their old roles as Dazai strategized and Chuuya attacked, but none of their attacks had a lasting effect and Chuuya couldn't stop the feeling of dread as he realized what their only remaining option was. Not having to use Corruption even once during the past four years had been wonderful and now, despite what Dazai said about leaving the choice up to him, he really had no choice at all.

Stripping his gloves off, Chuuya approached the creature while chanting rhetoric stanzas that would unleash his ability,

"Oh granters of dark desire, do not wake me again!" As soon as the words were finished pain shot through his whole body, it was likely the pain hadn't increased from the last time he'd used Corruption, but four years without doing so certainly made it feel like it had. Part of him wanted to scream, to beg Dazai to stop him already, but he had no voice with which do so right now even if he wanted to so instead he focused his attention on the fight, trying to ignore the way the tearing pain in his chest and the blood creeping up his throat and seeping from his mouth. It seemed like an eternity before the creature was defeated, one of Chuuya's gravity balls finishing it off after the damage Dazai's bomb had caused, and really why hadn't heard used that earlier, the stupid waste of bandages.

With the creature defeated, he waited for Dazai's touch to end his ability and free him from his mad rampage, but moments passed and nothing happened and all the while his body continues to toss around gravity balls, destroying the landscape around him while the pain his body was in increased. Finally after what seemed like an eternity a familiar hand grasps his wrist.

"The enemy has been eliminated. Take a break now, Chuuya." Dazai's familiar voice washes over him and he collapses bonelessly to his knees, coughing harshly as blood dribbles down his chin onto the ground.

“I told you to stop me as soon as it was over.” He manages to gasp out between coughs, his whole body is an all too familiar mess of pain and he hates it. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Dazai crouching down next to him, an infuriating grin on his face.

“I was going to, but it was entertaining, so I had to watch.” He comments, his grin never falling and as agonizing as it is to do so, Chuuya turns his head to glare at him,

“I used Corruption because I trusted you.” He growls out, trying hard to hide the hurt in his voice the Dazai’s words had caused; knowing the man as well as he did, it was a 50/50 chance on whether he was joking or serious but that didn’t make the fact he’d let Corruption stay active longer then he needed to any better. He didn’t have the energy to stay angry at his old partner at the moment though, he could already feel his senses beginning to dull as unconsciousness crept in on him.

Raising a fist, he punched Dazai in the chest, though with his current amount of strength it turned into little more than a light tap,

“You... better take me...to the extraction point.” He manages to gasp out before he can’t keep himself upright anymore and tips over, Dazai’s soft assurance that he will, the last thing he hears before blacking out.

(Several hours later when he awakes alone, in pain and in the exact spot he had been, he curses his own foolishness. Curses how he’d let their easy banter and teamwork lull him into thinking that things were somehow back to the way they used to be, he’d let himself forget for just a bit too long that they weren’t partners anymore and that he couldn’t count on him the way he used to. And as he lays there on the ground, still too exhausted to move, he thinks that maybe false hope is the worst pain of all)

#nakahara chuuya #My writing

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fraink5-writes · 6 years

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Human Qualification- Chapter 26

June

So this is it, the last chapter. I can't believe it. This is my first finished multi-chapter, so I'm going to indulge in some sappiness.

First, as always, I want to thank my editors @missmizpah @gracieuxetoile and @deathly-oreos for working with me on this fic and helping me improve it. Special thank you to @missmizpah for not only beta-reading the entire thing but also listening to my complaints. Thank you so much!

Next, I'd like to thank @4nimenut for drawing such lovely art for chapter 9. With such fine attention to detail, it really brought the scene to life. I'll always treasure it; thank you!

I want to thank @leio13 for supporting me and this fic from the beginning (even advertising it). I wouldn't have made it this far without you; thank you!!

Finally, I want to thank all my wonderful readers! It really was a pleasure to share this with all of you, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! I hope I can exceed your expectations in the future. Thank you so much!!

A note about the chapter: Japanese funerals are rather different than western funerals. I’ve included at the end a number of sources which might be of use to you.

Summary: To slowly lose all your functions until you are nothing but a trapped mind in a deteriorated shell, that’s what it means to be ‘No Longer Human.’

This chapter can also be found on Ao3 here. Without further ado, please enjoy!

It was over. For a long time, Chuuya had lived alone. He was alone again, but this loneliness was a stranger, colder, quieter, and sadder. It haunted him like a ghost. But he was alone; there were no footsteps besides his own; no other voices, no other breathing.

Dazai lay in the other room where he wouldn’t stir. No more choking, no more clothes changing, no more moaning. He was still. On the table beside him, there was a mess of flowers, a candle and suffocating incense.

With quivering hands, Chuuya took out his knife and placed it gently on Dazai’s chest. It was dirty with Chuuya’s crimes, but it could protect Dazai, if he needed such protection anymore. It was all Chuuya could do. He had been powerless before, when it might have mattered.

There was a knock on the door, which Chuuya trudged to answer. The pink-haired woman at the door was cloaked in a midnight kimono. “May I come in?”

Chuuya nodded, leading Kouyou into his apartment.

“I heard the news. I’m sorry. How are you doing? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Chuuya was alive, at the least.

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself. I brought food—and alcohol~!”

“Thanks.”

Honestly, Chuuya hadn’t thought at all about eating (or doing anything) before Kouyou arrived with food. Then suddenly he realized he was extremely hungry. He stacked the food on his plate and filled two glasses with wine, handing one to Kouyou. He shoveled the food into his mouth between gulps of wine.

The food disappeared, but he still felt empty. He decided to fill it with more wine. Its warmth comforted him, easing the ache within him. He was happy. For the first time in months, he was happy.

Until the illusion crashed, and his emotions churned along with the contents of his stomach. He had to get to the bathroom, but he couldn’t walk. Even now he was powerless, held down by the weight of his own incompetence and guilt.

“Chuuya,” Kouyou sighed. “You really need to take better care of yourself.”

What was the point?

Kouyou lifted Chuuya into the bathroom. She held his hair back and gently patted his back as he leaned over the toilet bowl, letting out a mixture of emotions and vomit.

Soon he was empty again; no more vomit, no more tears, no more feelings. He just wanted to sleep.

Chuuya stood at the entrance of the building, his whole body shaking with excessive energy—or rather energy which had been diverted from his will to do anything into his trembling. Guests were beginning to creep up to the entrance: people who Chuuya had worked with in his career, who he hadn’t seen in months, whose arrival meant that this was official. Chuuya couldn’t escape.

One of the first guests to greet Chuuya was Akutagawa; serious-faced and dressed in black, he didn’t appear all that different than usual. If he was hit hard by what happened, he didn’t show it. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.”

“I must become even stronger for Dazai-san,” Akutagawa muttered. “So one day he will acknowledge my strength.”

“I’m sure that will please him.”

Akutagawa turned to go to the registry with a slight bow.

“Umm, Akutagawa?” Chuuya called softly after him. “Dazai probably never told you, but he thought of you as a good trainee.”

A rare smile, barely noticeable, flickered on Akutagawa’s face as he walked away.

After Akutagawa, guest after guest filtered in, each stopping to offer Chuuya their condolences. ‘Sorry,’ ‘sorry,’ ‘sorry’... Each compounded the immensity of their loss. Dazai would have hated it.

The wake began with a Buddhist sutra. It rang hollowly through the hall. The words, which never meant anything to a non-believer, slurred together into a mournful tune. The entire ceremony was a systematic act, and Chuuya was the leader. He approached the table before him, bowed, and lit the incense. Behind him, the guests mimicked his actions at another altar.

In front of him, Dazai lay in his casket under the elaborate display of flowers. But it was hard to believe he was there at all; the only indicator was his portrait on display. Just a few months ago, he had been alive and moving. Even in the hospital, he had been alive, even if he was reliant on life support.

Now he was dead. When Chuuya saw Dazai last, he looked just as he had when he was alive—barely so, but alive nonetheless. When he was alive, Dazai looked like death, so much so that his death didn’t feel real. The end of his life had been so painful, so incapacitating, that death was only a tiny change; it was just an extension. Maybe that should have made things easier to accept, but they weren’t. Chuuya had expected the day to come for so long that when it finally came, he was unprepared.

So, he sat by the altar completely numb.

After the wake, most of the guests took their leave, so only a handful of guests remained for the vigil: Mori, Dazai’s two friends, Oda and Sakaguchi, and Chuuya himself. Chuuya hoped to spend the night alone with the alcohol, but that prospect was quickly crushed.

“Chuuya-kun.”

“Boss.”

“I hope you’ve been taking care of yourself.” Mori took on the friendly persona of a doctor.

“I’m fine,” Chuuya spoke curtly, hoping Mori would bother someone else.

“Good!” Mori grinned (such a grin which shook Chuuya to his spine) before returning to a serious face. “It’s quite a shame what happened. Dazai was still so young; he had so much potential.” The words seemed on the surface to be mournful, but they were the lamentations of a shrewd businessman. Dazai was a lost pawn in his game. To say Mori raised Dazai was only superficially true. He shaped Dazai into a scheming genius, but he had also deprived him of so many things: affection, empathy, happiness. Chuuya resented Mori. What right did he have to show up too late and pretend to care?

“Oh, by the way, Chuuya-kun, will you be resuming work sometime soon?”

It was impossible to think about such things now.

“When you return, the executive spot is waiting for you.”

Bastard! Chuuya squeezed his fists, ready to swing at Mori’s face.

“Don’t worry,” Mori chuckled nervously. “It’s not Dazai’s former spot; that’s still empty. I did some rearranging.”

Was that the truth? Either way, Chuuya was heating up with indignation at the callous offer. The prospect of working for the greasy doctor was repulsive. But he couldn’t leave the Mafia, Kouyou, his colleagues, his subordinates. “I’ll think about it.” He gulped down a cup of sake and walked away.

Oda and Sakaguchi sat to themselves, seemingly in a deep conversation. The taller one, Oda, had tears rolling down his face. He really was unfit for the Mafia; his feelings were genuine and his lifestyle honest. Chuuya could see why he had caught Dazai’s attention.

The other, Sakaguchi, was much more reserved. Aside from the frown (which looked to be a permanent feature), he was composed as he comforted his friend. In the mafia, he was considered a responsible type, something Dazai must have believed.

The two of them had been friends with Dazai before Chuuya. They must have known so much more and experienced so much more with him; Chuuya felt unworthy standing next to them.

If Chuuya had reached out to Dazai sooner, if he had stopped instigating petty fights earlier, would he still wish that they had more time? It was only natural to regret such a young death, yet Chuuya was certain he could have done more. He had watched helplessly as Dazai died; it was unbearable to think he hadn’t done enough but completely hopeless to concede there was nothing which could’ve been done. In the mafia, Chuuya was taught it was meaningless to brood over past things, but to stop was almost to forget. He clung desperately to their shared suffering because the memory was all they had left. Through his remembrance and guilt, maybe he could atone for his powerlessness.

It was the last night Chuuya and Dazai would spend in the same room together, yet Chuuya felt completely alone.

The funeral hall was emptier and quieter than the previous day, filled largely by the sutras of the monk. The song droned slowly as though the melody was weighed down by death. Chuuya was the first to approach the altar with heavy, unstable steps, carrying the burden of his regrets. Alone, he felt exposed by the eyes of the people behind him and Dazai in front of him. Kneeling before the altar, he sprinkled an offering of incense three times; the smoke irritated his swollen eyes. Then, he bowed deeply in respect to the portrait of Dazai, which Chuuya knew very well; he had taken the photo in February when Dazai was emaciated but not skeletal, when he could still move his left arm (in which he held a box of chocolates), when he could smile. That smile, despite being the product of a whack on the head, was so full of life; it was normally easy to overlook the rest. Except then, the photo stared down at Chuuya as a cruel reminder of what he’d lost.

This was Chuuya’s last chance to offer prayers, but all his thoughts collided frantically, unable to create a coherent idea. Regret, pity and guilt fought against love and well-wishes. Dazai would have hated the former, but they crushed Chuuya as he knelt; he couldn’t fight them. In the end, he had nothing to offer besides the incense and the occasional tear which overflowed from his eyes.

Chuuya had watched Dazai’s body deteriorate over months, yet it completely disappeared in less than two hours. All that remained were a pile of ash and bones. Even as his hair, fat, and muscles fell away, he had always been undeniably Dazai with captivating brown eyes and a wry grin which he so sparingly showed. The pile in front of Chuuya had no signs of Dazai and very little humanity. They were death, cold and unfeeling. They were the death Dazai had always wanted.

About Japanese funerals:

https://www.japanvisitor.com/japanese-culture/japanese-funerals

http://traditionscustoms.com/death-rites/japanese-funeral

http://thefuneralsource.org/trad140205.html

https://savvytokyo.com/the-complicated-rituals-of-japanese-funerals/

http://www.realestate-tokyo.com/news/japanese-funerals/

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#Bungou Stray Dogs #Soukoku #Human Qualification #Nakahara Chuuya #Dazai Osamu #Ozaki Kouyou #Akutagawa Ryuunosuke #Mori Ougai #Oda Sakunosuke #Sakaguchi Ango

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tryingtofeelanything · 7 years

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That’s what being a partner means, right ?

Soukoku Week - Day 2 「That’s what being a partner means, right?」– Dazai Osamu, Chapter 11

English Bungou Stray Dogs Soukoku One shot SFW (minus implied suicidal thoughts and maybe self-harm, depends on your interpretation)

Here is my contribution for the second day of Soukoku week. I may not do the other days, as I won’t have much free time this week. We’ll see. Just, two things here. First : this is originally an idea for Dazai’s birthday. But I didn’t have enough time to write it back there, so here it is, with some minor changes to fit the prompt. Second : this can be - but it’s absolutely not necessary - read with another OS of mine, Just before the Night. Thank you for your feedback, it’s always highly appreciated. :) Also, I’m sorry if this contains some typos, mistakes or weird translated parts. I did it in a bit of a hurry. I’ll fix everything when I post in AO3, probably by the end of next week.

He didn't know why. Really, honestly. And he didn't want to know. Not at all. Why he had fallen back into old habits, old like four years ago, so easily. Why he had found those old, forgotten, cleared thoughts back. Dazai didn't mean anything anymore. Dazai was only a traitor. He had betrayed them. He had betrayed him, betrayed Chuuya. Not that this individual betrayal was anything special. Dazai threw people away like he threw objects away, once used, worn out, definitely damaged. His partner was a tool like any other, he would have never claimed any privilege. Or was it what he kept saying to himself. In order to make the thought more bearable, to forget he had personally suffered from it. First when the doubt surrounding Dazai's disappearance had morphed into certainty. Then, after two years, when his named had appeared again, in conversations, in Yokohama, when it had became sure that the ex-prodigy of Port mafia was still in town, alive, and had decided to come back to the public streets – in the lively streets downtown, not those darker ones surrounding the less visited neighborhood, the one housing the intimidating premises that had welcomed him so often when no one would have done it. Finally, two more years later, when they had eventually faced each other, in the flesh, after four years of dodge. Dazai's face had lost those light round childish shapes from his teenage years, and his eyes part of the cruel sharpness he used to know. So he had let curiosity take over him. Maybe had he really changed ? Maybe had he became someone... better ? And instead of rejecting everything about him as a whole, he had watched him ; he had let himself get caught, a split second too late, by the familiarity that was Dazai's view, that was the way his heart was getting carried away in front of it, imperceptibly for just an instant, never more, but enough for him to know, to know that they were still here, those feelings of affection, of tenderness, mixed with a craving need to touch, to feel, this coldness, this scarred personality. No matter if it was about letting his blood flow between his fingers, or welcoming his intimate touch and pleasured moans – they had experimented with both, in the past, and both were suitable for him.

Beyond that, a deeper desire, of loving touches, of lengthy, tender gazes, of stolen kisses in the shadow, had never been satisfied. Chuuya would had even never realized he had it, if such gestures, inappropriate in a relationship like theirs, had not awoken it, to eventually disappoint him every single time, as they were always aborted, quickly dropped. And it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Dazai could have looked at him this way, such a deep way, seemingly sincere, in those stolen moments. It wasn't fair that he could have made him lost his composure, his defenses so easily, and, eventually, that he could have ended up taking his heart away. It was even less fair that, each time, the young man had turned his dark eyes away, looking like he was recanting, eliciting such harmful questions inside his partner's mind : was it unintentional ? Did he had this same kind of affection too ? Was he trying to stifle those fleeting hopes, because they had no room to be in their relationship, too ?

We're really fucked up, his mind concluded as he gently put his cheek against brown locks, a bit more tangled than usual, and tightened his embrace around shoulders maybe a bit skinnier than he remembered them. The bottom of his back was already protesting against this half sitting position, leaning against the wall, on a futon smelling like alcohol, in the middle of empty bottles of sake, open books and other things he did not want to identify more precisely than as some trash. To his feet, used bandages, covered in blood and dirt, the contents of a first-aid kit scattered on not-so-white sheets. Wedged between his arms and knees, the gentle human warmth from Dazai's body, the regular raising of his chest to the rhythm of the deep breathing of someone sleeping.

But he was not sleeping. Chuuya knew it. Not when his body was hurting this much. Despite the darkness, he could already see a few dark stains on the spotless white of bandages he had just used, even though he had put a generous amount of it on him. A sigh, like a light snort, crossed his lips.

"Still, happy birthday... moron."

Moron, for hurting yourself so much. Moron, for still only seeing the day of your birth as one more failed year not being able to take your own life. Moron... because I'm still here as if it were something normal.

Dazai's back was shaken by a slight shiver – a silent laugh, a surprised shudder, why not even a repressed sob ? Two recently bandaged hands pressed against each of his shoulder blades, as if they were made to fit perfectly together.

"Ah, Chuuya, it's really mean to ram it home like that."

In any other situation, the tone would have been exaggeratedly whining, and it even sounded like it did take such accent in his mind, as the sound of his voice reached his ears. Instead, the words only felt like a whisper, though. Chuuya did not reply. He slightly moved, trying to lighten the pressure on the bottom of his back that less and less liked having to hold his whole weight, as well as a big part of Dazai's. The fabric of their clothes sliding against each other was the only sound echoing in the room for a moment, as his ex-partner took the opportunity to change his position against him, gently putting his chin against Chuuya's shoulder.

The embrace had something strangely familiar. Such a situation had not happened for years. Chuuya sighed. Such thoughts had occupied his mind just a week ago. When they had fallen together on this same futon, a bit inebriated, and their minds especially clouded by the unconquerable desire to rediscover each other's body, even though they had thought they had been weaned from this mutual sensual addiction. He then had the opportunity to make a note about Dazai's address. And he eventually had not been able to resist the need to check on his state, this nineteenth day of June ; he knew the detective could not be fine this very day. He had seen it in the past ; some rare times he had watched a cracking on this perfect mask the boy had always worn in his memories.

"That's what being a partner means, too, right ?"

Chuuya eventually found himself whispering an answer, long minutes later, the same moment the idea crossed his mind. Some words Dazai liked to repeat, just to see him throw irritated glances and harsh groans. This time, the shiver that ran between the young man's shoulders matched a slight laugh.

"But we aren't partners anymore, Chuuya", he replied softly, imitating what Chuuya would automatically answer with a voice full of blame.

An amused smile forced Chuuya's lips and, before he could think about it, they were nuzzling a few brown locks. The sudden wave of affection that overwhelmed his chest brought him quickly back to reality and he hurriedly reconsidered.

"Anyway, Chuuya, since you're here, I hope you at least remembered to bring a gift for me."

The tone of his voice was more frivolous. It still sounded openly fake though.

"As if I thought about it", was the sharp reply.

Dazai did not need to know he had actually thought about it. The latter straightened up with a pout, his hands folded around the back of his neck to wrap a few locks of hair around the tip of his fingers.

"You're such an apathetic character", the detective sighed. "Then, I have the right to ask for anything I want by way of compensation."

Both men were plunged into darkness. Despite that fact he could discern with certainty the odd sparkle that furtively crossed both chocolate eyes though.

"You could told me 'I love you' and kiss me, for instance."

Every vital organs in Chuuya felt like they just stopped for a whole second as his guts made a 180 degrees rotation. Dazai smiled at him, his features full of an adoration he had never seen on him and which, if he had not already been, paralyzed him entirely.

"Don't look at me like that, Chuuya. That's what your eyes keep telling me. It would just be formalizing things out loud."

No, it would not be. No, his eyes were not telling anything. They could not betray him to that extent, he kept checking. How could Dazai's eyes hold his so calmly after such an aberration ? Why had he came in the first place ? He wanted to leave. He had to leave. He had nothing to do here, they had nothing to do together. The hands that landed against the chest facing him with the aim of pushing him away shook more than he would have wanted. However one of them was grabbed and slightly moved downwards, where it could feel the heart that beat a bit more quickly than usual. Chuuya raised wide, incredulous eyes towards the young man, questioning this silent admission, so far from the Dazai he knew.

"Or you can grant me access to your bank account, it would be good with me too."

The mafia executive put a bit more distance between them and turned his eyes away, but not trying to pull his hand away. He tried to seize such a generously offered opportunity, but his reply painfully lacked its usual sharpness.

"Maybe in your dreams."

"You earn your living on fencing and money laundering, it's not as if you deserve it anyway. I may as well help you spend it."

He could have whispered sweet nothings at the very moment, the tone would have not been much different. All of that was deeply troubling.

"Tch, it's not as if you hadn't done it for years too."

"Hm... So if it's a no for that, is it okay for the rest ?"

Dazai had suddenly gotten considerably closer. Chuuya found himself trapped between the wall and those shoulders, larger than his. He could have easily freed himself, he knew it. But he also only had to finish reducing the distance between them to join their lips.

"Can I at least kiss you ?"

"What would be the point, anyway ?"

The irritation starting to break through his voice was only a way to protect himself. How could Dazai ask him this kind of things so easily ? Their relationship did not work like that. It was only based on denials and unsaid things. Why had he to smash everything to pieces all of sudden ?

"I just want it. Please, Chuuya."

Something in Chuuya snapped. Dazai never said please. Dazai never asked for permission, besides. He was realizing only now that, maybe, just, maybe, the ex-mafioso's defenses had shattered more than he had thought. Was it only because of this day he openly hated ? Or was it also because of his partner's – ex partner, whatever – presence, who had not thought twice before forcing him to take care of his bloody wounds, cutting off this so confidential moment with his oh so harmful thoughts ?

A pair of lips gently pressed on his and he immediately stopped thinking. In the end, Dazai still did not ask him for permission. Unless his whole face had already approved for him. The sweet feeling of warmth quickly disappeared, letting a feeling of incompletion behind, when the detective pulled away to look at him in the eyes. Chuuya quickly put his hands on the back of Dazai's neck to make him get back close to him. He could not bear seeing those eyes with red reflections look at him with so much affection any longer. Neither could he hear his name, repeated in a breath, like he could get addicted to that, any longer. Their lips met again, in a real kiss instead of this first affectionate brush. He let Dazai turn his head gently, slowly open his lips and deepen their embrace as they progressively fell against the futon. Until the young man with brown locks released their lips and suddenly hid his face against his partner's – partner in which way ? - shoulder.

"Dazai...?"

"My whole body hurts, Chuuya", was the whining answer.

He sighed.

"It's your fault."

From instinct only, he could guess the pout drawing the curve of lips, dangerously close from his neck. The two boys stayed like that, against each other, for a while, silently. Dazai broke the silence again, but as if using a lot of caution.

"Chuuya...?"

"Hm ?"

"Stay until morning ?"

"You're asking for too much things tonight."

Yet he did not move. He did not answer expressly either. Words would not be necessary. He knew, and Dazai knew too, that he would comply and stay. Why would he leave ? He had never been able to, anyway.

#bungou stray dogs #OSAMU DAZAI #chuuya nakahara #soukoku #dachuu #one shot #fanfiction #ficlet #soukokuweek #triger warning #Suicide attempt #self harm

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ayatsujiyukitou-blog · 7 years

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DOVETAIL CHAPTER 1

Nakajima Atsushi is found starving by a river in Yokohama by a man named Akutagawa. (An ability swap au none of you ever saw coming.)

[ "My name is Nakajima Atsushi. And due to certain circumstances, I'm on the brink of starvation." ]

There's something equally amusing and pathetic in the young teen internally narrating his story to no one but himself in such a manner, but perhaps it's the only way he can find himself to cope with the situation he's found himself in. With nothing on his back, empty pockets, in an unfamiliar place, perhaps it's almost surprising he can find humor within himself in such a situation, no matter how sarcastic and self-depreciating.

Amethyst hues blinked slowly, sluggishly, mind only capable of contemplating his situation.

Kicked out of his orphanage without warning, accused of murder and satanic rituals, of being sin itself. The years he's spent under the gracious care of the facility only makes a part of him believe he deserves this fate. Perhaps he does, after being the target of blame for the death of others, for their blood was now on his hands.

Even if this was the case, even if he knew... A voice in his head said otherwise.

I don't want to die.

Perhaps it was a selfish one, but it repeated in his head like a mantra, serving as some sort of motivation to bring him here to this riverside where he's on his last leg. Hunger makes his body feel like lead, exhaustion seeping into his bones. It's not the worst thing he's suffered, but it's terrible nonetheless.

I don't want to die, I don't want to--

"Oi. You."

There comes a bitter laugh from the orphan, scoffing into the dirt. So he's so far gone he's hallucinating voices now. Great, that's absolutely --

"OW!" He finally reacts when he feels a foot kick into him from behind, leaving him scrambling to sit upright and focus on the culprit of the action. Fortunately, it seems that what he heard was no hallucination, and instead a man in a billowing black coat who towers over him with an intimidating expression.

Atsushi blinks, looking over him for a moment. The man doesn't seem much taller than him, dressed in black from head to toe sans the cravat at his neck and the white tips of his hair. It's a stark contrast, he thinks, to such an overwhelming dark presence. Thinking on it a little more, now he's getting anxious as to what someone like this would want with him.

"Are you deaf? I was speaking to you." The stranger hisses, brows furrowing.

The orphan still sitting on the ground squeaks, scooting backwards as he shakes his head. "S-Sorry, I didn't hear you... Did you need something from me?" Please not any organs, I'm already in a pinch as it is.

"Have you seen a man floating down the river?"

What did he just say?

"A... A man?" Atsushi echoes with a tilt of his head.

"Yes, a man." This time, the word is emphasized. "A stupid looking man floating down the river. Right now he's wearing a brown coat, and..."

The stranger continues on speaking, but Atsushi has already drowned out his voice. At the mention of the river, he instinctively turns his head towards the location the older speaks of in curiosity. Though nothing seems out of the ordinary to him. All he sees are the waves lapping gently, a seagull flying low before landing safely to bob on the water's surface, a motionless body floating downstream, a plastic bottle someone's thrown into the water ...

----- A MOTIONLESS BODY?!

The silver haired teen's body went rigid, lifting a hand up almost mechanically to point at the body floating in the water. "IT-IT-IT'S A--?!"

For a moment, the stranger standing before him looks insulted, but the expression disappears the moment he looks in the direction Atsushi points. "Ah. Found him." His tone is all too matter-of-fact, the other can't help but give him a look of bewilderment.

FOUND WHO?!

The man in black doesn't move, doesn't even pull his hands from where they're tucked away inside his pockets. Instead, the tattered edges of his clothes tremble to life all on their own. Atsushi is struck with a newfound feeling that leaves him frozen as he watches, eyes widening like saucers, jaw falling slack while the fabric moves over the water to grab the motionless person by their ankle before carrying him over onto dry land. Once he's released, he hits the ground with an all too comedic 'splat'.

What was that?! Why did his coat move -- Just who have I ran into?!

"Dazai-san. You're causing trouble. This is why we told you not to come."

The person referred to as 'Dazai' twitches from where he lays on the ground before slowly moving to his feet, wavy hair dripping wet onto the ground. Despite being soaked to the bone, somehow he wears a cheerful smile. "Akutagawa-kun, how kind of you to come find me~! Unfortunately, you ruined my suicide attempt. That's rather rude of you, you know."

'Akutagawa' gives a frown at the cheerful response, unamused. "Chuuya-san is angry with you." He's merely given a dismissive wave of Dazai's hand as an answer, to which only seems to make him more irritated, but Dazai's already gone to focusing his attention on the young teen who stares gawking in silence.

"That aside, whooo is this, Akutagawa-kun?" Dazai coos, hands folding behind his back as his body looms forward. It makes Atsushi lean back on impulse, cringing of how he smells of salt water.

"A stranger. I was asking him if he saw you when you floated by."

"N-Nakajima... Atsushi." Atsushi adds, however nervous.

"I see! In that case, he should be rewarded for his efforts!" The brunet smiles then, offering a hand out to the other. "Atsushi-kun, is it? My name is Dazai Osamu. It's nice to meet you."

"Er... Likewise." Regardless, he accepts the hand, allowing the man to pull him to his feet. "Uh, you two--" His words are interrupted by the growling of his stomach, and awkward silence sets in that makes his face grow red. Dazai blinks, smile remaining without faltering, all the while Akutagawa stares deadpan.

The silence goes on far longer than it should, and while the man soaking wet tries speaking, he doesn't get very far. A syllable, at the very least, is all he can give before a boot meets his face and he's sent flying backwards... And Atsushi, unfortunately, is dragged with him screaming as they roll across the grass.

"DA-ZA-IIIII!"

It doesn't take a genius to tell the voice is shrill and angry. The orphan pries himself away from the person holding onto his wrist, just in time to watch a shorter man slam his foot onto Dazai's chest, grinding his heel without remorse. His hair is ginger and styled over a shoulder, baby blue eyes bright and narrowed beneath his bangs. He's wearing a red dress shirt and black pants, on his back is a sword he soon grabs by the handle, unsheathing the stainless steel blade he points at Dazai's neck.

Am I going to witness a murder?!

"IF YOU WANT TO DIE SO BADLY, I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR WISH RIGHT NOW!"

"C-CHUUYA, WAIT---!"

Even so, Atsushi can't bring himself to move, merely watching in horror as the new stranger moves his arms to swing, eyes closing as he flinches... Only for his stomach to growl out loudly a second time. The familiar heat from before resurfaces to face, accompanied by nervousness upon realizing the ginger has stopped short of piercing Dazai's throat, staring at him with a blank expression.

"... Oi. Who's the kid." 'Chuuya' speaks, looking back at the brunet at his feet.

"Just a passerby that helped Akutagawa-kun find me. Adorable, isn't he?"

Chuuya shoots Atsushi another look, and the orphan can't help but feel smaller underneath his gaze. He wonders if he'll be next, followed by why he's suddenly involved with sketchy people. Criminals? The Mafia? So much for not wanting to die!

"I see." The man steps back, taking his foot off of his companion's chest before returning his sword to its sheath. "That aside, for something like the growling of some kid's stomach to bring me to a full stop in wanting to kill you, I don't know whether to say congratulations or pity him."

"Coincidentally, we were just speaking about rewarding him!" Dazai adds, bouncing to his feet. "Atsushi-kun, is there anything you'd like to eat? It'll be free of charge!"

"What do I want to eat?" Now that someone's asking him, Atsushi realizes that he didn't get that far. His head bows in contemplation, cupping his chin with one hand. In all honesty, he expected to be by death's doors any day now. Is this fate? Maybe, just maybe, God hasn't shunned him just yet despite his sinful existence the orphanage made him believe he was? Just thinking about that place now is a bit ironic, perhaps. A few days back, he was craving chazuke. It wasn't anything that grand back at that place, but it was located in the countryside, so the rice came straight from the rice farm in the area. If he could have that one more time... "Chazuke... Probably."

"Hm? What was that?"

The younger rubs at his neck, tone sheepish. "I want to eat Chazuke."

Dazai looks stunned for a moment, blinking widely at him for a moment. It's enough to make the younger want to redact his request and be on his way, but it's then Dazai laughs in amusement. "That's a great idea! Then-- let's all have Chazuke with a generous donation from Chuuya's wallet!"

Chuuya twitches at the declaration, a temple pulsing angrily. "WHAT?! When did I say I was paying for anything?"

"Let's go, let's go~!" And off the brunet goes, dragging the young Atsushi along.

"DAZAI! OI-- YOU BASTARD!"

Despite Chuuya's complaining, the end result was just as Dazai predicted. In a teahouse not that far from where their destined meeting occurred, The four found themselves sitting at a table together.

On one end sit Chuuya and Dazai. Chuuya is sitting with a slouch and a displeased expression, hands tucked into his pockets while his sword is kept tucked between his legs underneath the table and out of sight. A cup of tea sits in front of him, but he's yet to take a sip of it. Dazai, on the other hand, sits straight and with an eager smile, folding the paper napkin in front of him in what seems to be a paper crane.

On the other, there sits Akutagawa and Atsushi. Akutagawa sits with an expected proper posture, slowly sipping from his tea with a deadpan expression at the teen sitting next to him... Who sits stuffing himself with chazuke, already on his seventh bowl at this point. There's a small stack that sits in front of the orphan that's a bit lopsided, but he pays it no mind.

"When was the last time you had an actual full-blown meal?" Chuuya asks, finally leaning forward to rest an elbow on the table, chin resting in his hand. "Mfgg mff amo." Atsushi's response comes out incomprehensible as he doesn't stop stuffing his mouth full, eyes blinking matter of factly.

"... Uh huh." The ginger immediately turns his head to the brunet sitting next to him. "What did he just say?" Dazai doesn't give an answer as he merely hums away, folding another piece of his napkin origami. Blue eyes narrow at him, but before Chuuya can give a complaint, Akutagawa answers in the older's stead.

"He said two weeks ago."

Unsurprisingly, this earns him a look. "How could you even translate that?" Akutagawa folds his arms over his chest, nodding his head in Dazai's direction. "Dazai-san talks with his mouth full often, so I've learned. Given how long you've known each other, I'm a little surprised you don't."

"Anyway," Chuuya starts, completely ignoring the subtle insult. "I'd like it if you could hurry up. We have a job to take care of."

Atsushi finally seems to finish his bowl of chazuke just as the words fall from the older's lips. He swallows slowly, setting the bowl down carefully before placing his chopsticks atop the bowl. His hands wrap around the bowl, fingers drumming against the sides of it idly. "What sort of work do you guys have, Chuuya-san?"

"We're detectives. More accurately, detectives from the Armed Detective Agency."

"Armed Detective Agency?" The younger echoes, staring for a moment before realization hits him, jaw dropping. Armed detective agency... He had heard of them before while at the orphanage in a newspaper or something. The teen jumps to his feet then, shouting loudly. "Aren't you guys the special detectives with special abilities?! That thing he did with his coat --" Cue a finger that points at the older sitting next to him. "That was an ability too?!" Never in his life did he think he'd meet people of such high importance, let alone be treated to chazuke by them.

Akutagawa scrunches his nose, offended. "It's not a 'thing'. My ability is--"

"Akutagawa-kun, it'll be a problem if you say too much...~" Dazai sings, gaze never lifting from where his hands are still preoccupied attempting to make a paper napkin crane.

This effectively silences said ability user, covering up his displeasure with a sip of his tea.

Chuuya groans while pinching his nose. "In any case: yes, we're on a job right now. We can't leave it alone for too long either. Akutagawa and I were sent to find it since he has an offensive ability, having mine as backup, but this idiot," Cue a thumb that points to Dazai. "Decided to not listen and come with and give us problems as always."

"What's so drastic about it?"

"We're hunting a demon." The raven finishes, and the calmness found in his voice sends a heavy chill down Atsushi's spine as he forces himself to look at the person sitting next to him. "Two weeks or so ago, there's been a demon sighted in Yokohama. Because of it, people are being attacked, some have been hurt. The reports have said it's of humanoid form, carrying a sharp weapon..."

No.

Oh no, no, no.

"... I see." Nausea sets in, mixed in with a familiar feeling of panic. "I'm sorry! I've kept you from doing your job! I'll be going now, th-thank you so much!" And immediately he turns to run, only to soon be tripped by Chuuya's sword tucked between his legs he seemed to have kicked out just moments before Atsushi dared to move. In response, the boy tumbles to the ground face-first.

When he lifts it, he's met with the view of the bottom end of the redhead's sheath slammed dangerously close to his face against the floor board. Glancing up just a little is all he needs to do to see the older's baby blue eyes glaring down at him.

"Oi, I don't remember saying you could move your ass out of your spot, Screamy Mcnervous." He growls. "Your reaction's a red flag. You know something? Ah?"

"What?! No, I just--"

Chuuya gives him no room to respond, instead grabbing him by the back of his shirt like a kitten, pulling him to his feet as he drags him out the door. "We're going to have a little chat." Is all he hisses before he pushes open the doors to leave.

Akutagawa takes a final sip of his tea before dutifully following after. Dazai laughs, staring down at the finished paper napkin origami crane that sits in front of him before slowly standing to his feet and moving to join the others outside.

Completely disregarding Atsushi's efforts to free himself and stammering excuses as he exists the teashop and drags the younger a good ways down the street. Once satisfied with the distance made and the lack of people, Chuuya shoves the teen into the nearest wall back-first. A gloved hand pounds against the empty space near the orphan's head, leaving him flinching in fright.

"Start talking, stray dog, or my boot is going to be shoved so far up your--"

"Chuuya," Dazai coos as he walks up behind the other detective, a bandaged hand resting lightly on his shoulder as he drums his fingers. "You won't get anywhere with intimidation, you know! Let me handle this, alright?"

The redhead squints at him, lips puckering in a childish pout before he moves back to stand next to Akutagawa. Dazai steps forward before Atsushi with a smile that's all too gentle, forgiving even. No matter how intimidated he is, somehow the younger finds himself calming the slightest bit seeing it.

"Atsushi-kun, you can calm down. No one's going to hurt you." The detective starts in a soothing tone, but his expression soon twists into a look of concern. "But, there are people in this city that are in danger of this demon we're pursuing. You understand this, don't you? Even if it's the smallest thing, sharing it with us will help us greatly."

"I... I see..." Just as intended, Atsushi seems to accept his response, glancing nervously at Chuuya who clicks his tongue unhappily before lowering his gaze. "I, well... The orphanage I was from kicked me out for apparently summoning a demon. Because of me, some of the other orphans died. The orphanage... Didn't want any other casualties, so it's common sense they kicked me out. My presence there was a..." He feels his heart sink to the pit of his stomach, remembering the words the headmaster said to him.

[ "You brought a curse to this orphanage, putrid boy! You're a sick, vile --" ]

"-- walking tragedy, more or less."

"Summoning a demon would get you kicked out." Chuuya thinks aloud from behind Dazai, humming nonchalantly.

"I DIDN'T SUMMON A DEMON--"

"So, if we kill you, the case will be finished smoothly." Akutagawa follows.

"DON'T KILL ME EITHER?!"

"Hmm, yes, true... Killing isn't good..." The brunet muses, tapping his chin. His contemplative expression doesn't seem to reflect the same seriousness as before, almost as if he were faking thinking so deeply on the situation. Soon, his eyes blink as a thought occurs to him as the hand pulls away to snap his fingers. "Here's a perfect idea then!"

Why does he have a bad feeling all of a sudden--

"Atsushi-kun will help us find the demon since this is his fault."

Ah, that's the reason... WAIT-- "W-What?!"

"Well, you said it yourself, didn't you? You summoned it, so it's only natural that you help stop it."

"No, I said 'apparently', I never--"

"Of course, you're free not to, but as detectives who work for the public... We'd have to turn you in for being an accomplice over the assault of others. In addition, Chuuya was the one who paid the bill for your food and he planned on buying a new bottle of wine that cost 200,000 yen. He was waiting months while saving up and--"

Atsushi waves his hands frantically, attempting to silence the older. "A-alright, alright, I'll help! It's enough already!"

Dazai smiles brightly, tilting his head with an innocence the younger deeply feels is misplaced. "I knew you'd come around. We appreciate it!"

Perhaps today really is the day I die.

And so, this is how he finds himself in the company of Akutagawa within an empty warehouse, filled with various stacked boxes and trash littered about. It looks like a place someone without a home would sleep in to get out of the cold, and the thought makes him want to laugh wryly knowing that 'someone' surely would've been him. Even if he hadn't ended up in this situation, Atsushi would've found himself here.

The world is too ironic, or maybe it's just laughing at him.

"Akutagawa... san, was it?" The shorter speaks up to break the silence, glancing nervously at the other. "Why are we looking in a place like this?"

"Just Akutagawa is fine." The raven answers, not bothering to glance back. "Isn't it obvious why we're here? Demons stereotypically hide in the dark and abandoned places, lying in wait for targets."

"You're going on stereotypes? Is that okay?!" So much for being detectives! "Sometimes the most obvious places are the ones that shouldn't be overlooked. In any case, Dazai-san and Chuuya-san are looking in other places, so it will be fine. Make yourself useful and help me look, Nakajima. I don't have all night unlike you."

"Y... You don't have to talk to me like that. I'm not a detective like you guys or anything."

"You have eyes. Use them."

This guy... "I don't even know what I should be looking for." Atsushi continued. "A-And I'm just a civilian!"

"Trying to get out of it, I see. How classy." Akutagawa quips, glancing over his shoulder. "You're just scared."

"Of course I'm scared! I don't want to die! I can't defend myself from a demon!" The younger's voice raises without him realizing, hands gripping at the sides of his tattered pants. It makes the agency member raise a brow, but he doesn't respond as the orphan continues. His head bows, shoulders hunching pitifully. "Even though I deserve it... Because it's my fault..."

Just what am I trying to say? All of this happened because of me. People died because of me. People were hurt because of me...

Any defense he wanted to make for himself dies in his throat, replaced with a feeling of self-loathing. "I..." His voice cracks, vision blurring. "I wish it killed me instead."

He's met with silence. Atsushi can feel Akutagawa's stare on him, surely something akin to disappointment or disgust for hearing such a thing. There eventually comes the sound of the other's shoes scuffing against the concrete as he turns to face the orphan, and Atsushi already expects more berating -- but it never comes. Akutagawa gives a startled noise, taking a step back.

"Nakajima, move!"

"Eh--?"

His head lifts to meet the raven's gaze, freezing when he hears glass shatter from behind him. Atsushi whips his head to look behind him, watching as glass shards rain down from the windows completely busted open. Everything seems to move in slow motion as he processes it all, from the broken window to what was flying through it: A being glowing gold with a sword in hand, face hidden behind a mask.

The demon.

"You imbecile-- Rashomon!"

Akutagawa reacts first when Atsushi can't bring himself to move. His coat quivers to life, the black cloth wrapping around the orphan's midsection to drag the other in his direction just in time to avoid the slice of the demon's sword. Wind whips past them at the sheer force, the detective's coat releasing him to stagger and regain his balance.

Shock turns to realization, and realization to fear. This thing was here to kill him.

"So the only thing left to do is to kill it." The man in the black muses aloud, and for the first time since they met, Atsushi saw a smile.

A smile so eager over killing something.

"You run."

"Huh? But you--"

"You'll be getting in my way." Akutagawa clarifies.

Atsushi knows that. He truly does, but the way Akutagawa says it aggrivates him. He acquiesces regardless, groaning as he spins to run in the other direction. "Jeez, I got it, you jerk!!" He yells, glancing behind him as he watches the older's coat move on his command.

Black tendrils shoot out to attack the floating golden demon that dodge them with almost a certain elegance, using its sword to block another attack that aims for its mask. Something about its movements are almost mechanical, like a robot malfunctioning, and soon its head lifts to focus on the boy running. Shit. Fear and dread leave his heart racing in an instant as the demon flies over its opponent, moving to chase after the running boy merely observing from a distance. So much for not getting in Akutagawa's way.

"Oi! Why is it chasing after you?!" said ability user barks with a snarl.

If I knew that, I'd know how to stop it! Atsushi screams in protest within the confines of his own mind, turning a sharp corner just as the demon swings its sword. Wooden boxes are smashed in an instant, splinters and pieces of wood flying through the air before it continues its pursuit after its fleeing target.

A box is sent flying in its direction from elsewhere, slamming it into a wall. The demon's neck gives a disturbing snap to look in the direction it came from, more specifically: Akutagawa. A menacing aura pours from the young man's person, tendrils from his coat seeming to vibrate to express his rage.

"Fight me! Do not ignore me!" His voice is a mixture of anger and desperation, but it achieves what he desires nonetheless. The demon once again lifts its weapon, levitating higher before it flings itself at its challenger. It leaves his mouth splitting into a wild grin, a hand lifting to point.

It gives a certain relief to Atsushi who's hidden elsewhere among the boxes, heart beating so fast he feels it will burst from his chest. He doesn't understand... He doesn't understand any of this! How he supposedly summoned a demon, only for it to want to kill him. It's been hurting others, hunting for him, but at least now... Now, that man from the detective agency would put it to rest. What a relief.

BANG!

Or so his lingering optimism wanted to believe. A sudden crashing noise startles him, and he's quick to come from his hiding place to peer from behind a box, attention focusing on the situation at hand -- and Atsushi's eyes can't help but widen in shock. He hasn't counted how long he disappeared out of sight, but somehow, he finds himself staring down the image of an Akutagawa who's been slammed into a wall. Blood drips from a temple, a hand held out to maintain the spider web-like form of his ability that keeps the demon's sword from connecting with his body.

He's hurt. He's bleeding. What happened?

Another person was going to be killed because of him... Another person...

[ "Your existence only hurts others." ]

No. I don't want that.

[ "You can't do anything to protect other people." ]

If I can save just one person, it'll be proving that wrong. I don't want to exist to hurt others.

Akutagawa loses the energy to keep the web in place, the coat falling limb against the ground where he sits. There's a grim smile on his face as he watches his opponent lift its weapon once more with another grotesque cracking of its limbs, as if resigning to his fate.

No... NO!

"Stop!" And for some reason, everything in his body tells him to scream, to scream as loudly as possible. "Stop hurting! Stop killing! Go back to wherever it is you came from!"

It stops. Somehow, his words make the demon freeze in place, sword inches away from making contact with Akutagawa's head. The ability user stares in shock, baffled as the reason for it all runs towards him, bare feet making a pitter-patter against the concrete. "It... Stopped."

"Akutagawa, are you alright?"

The agency member doesn't answer, merely continue to stare at the demon frozen in place. Something inside his mind seems to click, and only then does he blink. So that's how it is.

"Hey, are you listening? Are you dea--"

"Nakajima. Look at me for a moment and hold still."

Atsushi jumps at the sudden interruption. "O-Okay? But why--"

He can't finish his sentence before Akutagawa punches him dead in the face with the last bit of strength he has, sending the smaller flying onto his back and completely unconscious. The demon that floats above them suddenly disperses in a myriad of colors in the same moment, no trace of it left in sight.

Nothing follows but silence as the raven lowers his hand to his side, pushing himself to his feet with a strained grunt. He glances around the warehouse that's been more or less trashed by their altercation before he scoffs under his breath, smiling wryly.

"Akutagawa! You alright?!"

The familiar voice makes him turn, watching as Chuuya comes running through the open door with Dazai trailing behind him. The notable look of surprise the redhead gives as he closes the distance makes his next question obvious, but Akutagawa allows him to ask it regardless.

"What happened here? Did you kill the demon?"

"No."

"Then it got away?"

"... No." It's then the man moves a hand to point at the unconscious Atsushi, expression blank. "It's his ability."

"So my deduction was right after all." Dazai hums, rocking onto the tips of his toes to study the sleeping boy's face.

"Wh... Huh..." Chuuya looks at Atsushi, then to his coworkers before continuing. "You knew too?! Say something beforehand, jackass!"

"Job complete, yayyyy!" Dazai ignores the complaint, merely clapping his hands together childishly. "Well, now it's just a matter of what should we do with him... The government said to kill it, but as detectives we can't kill a human being. What do you think, Akutagawa-kun? You fought it, after all."

Akutagawa is silent as he turns to look at the person at his feet. His expression is contemplative, soon pulling his gaze away to look at a pointless spot across the room.

[ "I wish it killed me instead." ]

"... We should take him to the agency." He decides at last, meeting the older's gaze as he does so.

Dazai smiles all too knowingly, arms folding across his chest. "It's not a bad idea. He'd be useful, but are you sure you want to?"

Akutagawa kneels down to grasp Atsushi by the back of his shirt, dragging him awkwardly against the ground as he heads towards the exit of the warehouse. "If he'll be useful to the agency, then that's all there is to it."

A laugh echoes, followed by a sigh that's no doubt from Chuuya.

"I guess that's that."

CHAPTER 2 > tba.

#bsdfic #bsd #bungou stray dogs #nakajima atsushi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #dovetail au

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fraink5-writes · 6 years

Text

Human Qualification- Chapter 24

May 5

Another delay... So sorry!! But here it is!

Of course, I’d like to thank @missmizpah @gracieuxetoile and @deathly-oreos for reading it over!

Summary: To slowly lose all your functions until you are nothing but a trapped mind in a deteriorated shell, that’s what it means to be ‘No Longer Human.’

This chapter can also be found on Ao3 here. Without further ado, please enjoy!

Dazai was a corpse. He was still alive (Chuuya hoped), but barely. His fat and muscles had rotted away, leaving only a skeleton draped in skin. Even with such a thin separation between his rib cage and the outside, his chest hardly moved when he breathed. The only sign that he was breathing at all was the audible stress of each exhale, occasionally accompanied by a nasty sputtering. There was always a stream of drool leaking from the corners of his mouth. Did that mean he was alive? One thing was certain: it was dangerous. It held Dazai on the edge of life and death; one day the imaginary damn keeping the saliva contained—keeping Dazai alive—could break, and it would swiftly flood Dazai’s lungs and kill him. Yet the most Chuuya could do was wipe away the spill before it made too big of a mess of Dazai’s pillow.

Chuuya did nothing but watch. That was all he could do: watch Dazai die. Of course, he tried other things—he wouldn’t give up so easily—but they were futile. He made Dazai food, but Dazai wouldn’t—or couldn’t—eat. Even as he starved, he had no appetite at all. Chuuya helped Dazai when he was choking, but it was a meager battle in a losing war. No long after, the saliva would build up again, and Dazai would choke. He talked to Dazai in a largely unsuccessful attempt to keep him awake. Nevertheless, Dazai spent most of the time sleeping. Chuuya, on the other hand, would not allow himself to sleep. Hours and days blurred together in a sleep-deprived confusion. Occasionally, Chuuya would pass out and wake up an indeterminate numbers of hours later, unaware of what, if anything, had happened to Dazai.

The one thing Chuuya could do was take Dazai to the hospital. Chuuya was ready to admit to defeat. Taking care of Dazai was a hopeless fight, and Chuuya was exhausted. He had fought many impossible fights and managed to win most of them, but back then Dazai had supported him. But Dazai was now incapacitated, and Chuuya could feel his own body and mind giving out.

Perhaps it was selfish to ditch Dazai in a hospital, to leave him in the hands of strangers. He was Dazai’s partner, and he had swore to stand by him. Less than a week before, he had spoken so confidently, but it had all crumpled with Dazai’s health. Where had his convictions gone? Surely, he would stand by his words; he was determined to believe in them. No, Dazai wasn’t a burden. No, he didn’t pity Dazai—well, he did, but that wasn’t why he spent all this time and energy with Dazai. No, he didn’t regret it—not yet, at least. And he didn’t intend for that to change; he would stave off pity and regret for as long as possible. But how long was that? No matter what he told himself, sending Dazai to the hospital seemed like an admission to defeat. Chuuya’s self-righteous talk fell silent in the face of abandoning Dazai at a hospital.

Chuuya prefered to avoid these thoughts, in the same way he prefered (with decreasing success) to avoid the thought of Dazai’s approaching death entirely. Either way, he told himself, Dazai didn’t want to go the hospital. Dazai wanted his death to be quick, painless and without hassle. While Chuuya had some doubts about his plan, it was Dazai’s will.

How much did Dazai still want to die? That’s what he had always said (and frequently attempted to act on it), that he wanted to die. But the fact he was still there must have surely been a testament to his will to live. Every time he woke up, that was a resistance against death. What a terrible fight, only able to wake up and hope that his organs don’t finally give up. Even as his mind screamed its will to live, his body was too tired to respond, too tired to continue. Maybe it was better then if Dazai wanted to die. Maybe it would be easier to give in and let death take him away. Maybe it would come quickly.

Who was Chuuya fooling? There was nothing painless about this death. They were at a standstill, and as they hesitated, Dazai’s suffering was prolonged.

A low hiss yanked Chuuya from his thoughts. It was a low, raspy whistle—a breath at death’s mercy—which wafted through the air. But it was quickly interrupted by a violent series of coughs. Dazai’s eyes slammed open. His face contorted, eyes wide and bloodshot, mouth agape. Saliva dripped rabidly from the corners in uneven globs. With each second, the coughs grew faster, louder, yet more strained; each was a pitiful cry.

Chuuya lurched towards Dazai. His heart stumbled, and his hands trembled, but he needed to hold them still. He gently grabbed Dazai, lifted him to sit, then arched his back till his head was over his knees. There was nothing else he could do. Dazai’s face grew red and redder still. As a pathetic attempt at comfort, Chuuya held his hand to Dazai’s back, feeling the sharp grooves of his spine under his skin. It was all he could do. Redder, redder, redder. But Dazai’s lips were blue. Chuuya listened to the strangled noises which escaped Dazai’s mouth. He was unable to do anything.

Finally, saliva spilled from Dazai’s lips like a waterfall with a sighing gasp. Each cough was a foghorn, long and deep, but slowly they faded away, along with the red on his face and the blue on his lips.

Chuuya inhaled. “Dazai.” His own breath hitched. “I think you should go to the hospital.”

Of course, there was no response, but nothing needed to be said. Instead, silent regret and loathing spilled from his lips into the air around them. It filled his eyes with darkness.

Chuuya had to ignore it. He had to be right, and Dazai wrong, if only this once. “I can’t take care of you like this. I’m sure the hospital would be better.”

Dazai surely had many objections, but Chuuya didn’t have time to hear them, even if they’d never be spoken in the first place.

“I’m sorry.” There were many lamentable things: Chuuya’s inability to take care of Dazai, his abandoning him at the hospital, his ignoring of Dazai’s wishes, Dazai’s death.

But Chuuya persisted. He dialed up the hospital and arranged for an ambulance. Explaining the situation was a large pain for which Chuuya didn’t have the patience or energy. He deflected as many questions as possible; Mori could answer them at the hospital. The Mafia Boss must have known way more than Chuuya about Dazai’s condition—and for what? He never watched over Dazai, never fed him, never changed him, never comforted him. Chuuya had done it all—without an ounce of understanding and only his stubborn determination to guide him.

Chuuya sighed. It would all be over. The sirens besieged the apartment, bringing with them an indeterminable future. Except one thing remained certain: soon Dazai would die.

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#Bungou Stray Dogs #Soukoku #Human Qualification #Nakahara Chuuya #Dazai Osamu

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