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sparkles-and-trash · 11 months

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Sometimes it feels like people kinda forget your pain when it’s chronic.

When someone healthy/able bodied gets sick or injured, people will pour out their support and understanding right away, which is good, obviously.

But after a while, people get tired of hearing about it.

They get tired of having to work around it, tired of having to be understanding.

But just because your empathy fades, doesn’t mean our pain and grief does.

I’m so, so tired of my pain. Of having to be understood. Of not having any chance to have a proper career, or dreams, or relationship.

I’m tired of my hands not working enough for me to write, draw and craft, which is what is normally keeping me going.

They just keep getting worse.

I’m tired of the pains related to my endometriosis and pcos making me unable to eat properly, get any exercise, and for making me bedridden more and more these days.

I’m tired of having to beg for support in what little buisniess I manage to make sure I survive during my rough recovery periods after surgeries and bad flare up’s.

I’m tired of knowing my life will not be a long one.

I’m tired of complaining, of being in pain, of grieving, of feeling like a burden.

There are no breaks for me.

That doesn’t mean I get used to it. I will never be used to it.

And I think I should be allowed to talk about all of this without feeling like a burden.

I probably won’t ever get to that point, but this is me trying to get there.

By being open and honest, and hoping that at least one person takes the time to read.

If you’re still here, still reading, thank you. It means the world.

Be kind to those around you who are like me.

We’re not happy about our situations, either, but having people willing to stick around and listen makes it a little easier to survive.

Thank you ❤️‍🩹

#chronic illness #chronic illness awareness #chronic illness psa #chronic illness support #disabilties #disability #lupus #lupusawareness #living with lupus #endometriosis #pcos #cfs #scoliosis #chronic migraine #chronic mental illness #mentalheathawareness #irl tag #personal

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chronic-claire-universe · 1 year

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Tokyo Revengers: Family Matter

Hey dust bunnies, I’m not active I know it, but it takes a lot of time writing and studying for residency school, I disfrute this inspiration to say you something, I really really missed the interaction we used to have for this fandom, most of my absence is caused because of this, so please if you decide to read this stories please pass by my inbox, write me, interact with me, reblog, I really need to vibe with you again, I love you and your support! And thanks for letting me reach 2.5 followers despite everything 💜

Characthers: Hajime Kokonoi, Takashi Mitsuya, Ran Haitani

Plot: They react to s/o who can’t have children

Warnings: Angst to Fluff, Reset Timeline, Mention of Depression, Endometriosis, Infertility, Chronic Disease, Mentions of Sex (In Mitsuya), Breeding Kink (Only Mitsuya), Adoption

A.N: This is most of all a self indulgent story since I suffer endometriosis, so y/n works as a doctor. While this scenario is minor interact, if you’re under 18 skip Mitsuya’s part since there’s a smut!

“Koko I’m going to work…” you say while you stand on your feet after the doctor comes out from the ambulatory, your husband looks into your lucid eyes and takes your wrist blocking you, “Love this isn’t the right time to work” he says while you stare into the void of the hospital ward, nurses wave at you and you give them a little smile knowing them for a long time, “My shift isn’t finished, I gotta-” arms takes you and turn you over to his chest giving you the privacy to shed my tears without feeling judged, a doctor can’t cry in front of patients and colleagues, he knows you don’t like showing vulnerability, that’s why he waits that your tears stop to stream while rubbing your back and reassuring that everything is going to be fine.

You and Koko devoted yourself to your works, many of the reasons you get to work perfectly as a couple were your drive to success and beside that the love for shopping and expensive items. You knew you suffered endometriosis but back then, none of the doctors told you to be worried about your fertility, but once you started to get sick again you scheduled a visit and knew for a fact that there was few to none possibilities to bear a child.

Afraid to be rejected from your husband because of this you started to cry but that’s where your husband console you and say “We can always try alternative-'' he says thinking you want to a have a child, “No Koko - I don’t want to try, unless you tell me that’s what you want…”, Koko’s snake eyes wide “y/n it’s your body and it’s your life, I don’t want to force you to do anything against your will, do you understand me lullamy?”. The nick he gave you puts a smile on your face, “I understand, I’m sorry Haji, I thought you wouldn’t want to be with me in a situation like this”, a pout appears on his face “Is this why you were crying? I couldn’t never do something like this, I love you, I love your personality and that won’t change even if it will be just the two of us” you nod kissing his cheek and taking his hand you go towards your ward announcing that you’re going to take a break because you need time with your husband.

How does it end up? You never actively tried for a pregnancy and that didn’t change after discovering your condition, but during a visit to Shimoda where you were treating some kids you got to know an orphan, that’s how Hiname entered your lives and you couldn’t be happier to be parents finally.

The successful career you and Mitsuya got to strive for, gave you a lot of stress, sex was the best recipe you could have on your days off.

“Just like that my love, I’m gonna cum” Mitsuya says taking your hips and meeting your thrust to arrive deeper in your pussy, his lips give you hickeys on your shoulder and back neck and a hand can’t help but reach a nipple while rubbing a clit from behind, you arch your back by going up and down finally coming undown you feel his seed shooting deep inside your womb.

“Taka, do you want to have children?” you say all sweaty while caressing his abs and looking at him in aftersex glow, the pants alters and Mitsuya smiles while turning to look at you and kisses your forehead, “Why do you ask that?” he says with his charming smile while caressing your cheek, “It’s just that you always cum inside me” you say with tinted cheeks avoiding his gaze, “I mean I never thought about it, I just love to finish inside you, is this a problem?” he asks, tilting his head and taking you to your bathroom.

“I mean no, I can’t get pregnant anyway” you say making him falter, “Taka?” you say looking at him who seems deep in thought, you seem calm but something tells him you’re feeling quite anxious about it, “Love, I’m sure we can live happy even without having children, plus Draken and all the others will be having theirs, I think we could the perfect cool aunt and uncle who spoils the kids everytime we see them” he says while gently placing you in the hot tub and caressing your lower belly, “Never feel ashamed about your condition, you’re perfect the way you are” turning and kissing him on his lips you deepen as soon as you whisper “So are you Takashi Mitsuya” and you resume what you finished minute before.

How does it end up? You and Mitsuya became the cool uncles, everytime the parents and previous Toman members need free time you support them by taking care of the kids, who love you. You adopted two cats as time passed by and you got a little bit more free time. Both of you go to volunteer at the kindergarten and help the teacher with the kids. You became one of the philanthropists for the Endometriosis Association and Mitsuya often goes on tv to make awareness of the illness, despite that you’re happy with your work and you still have a lot of sex!

“Is something the matter, pretty?” Ran asks you as soon as you hop into the car and stare at Rindou and his son waving goodbye with his chubby hand, “Rindou’s baby is so cute” you say now turning your gaze in front of you avoiding purple inquisitorial eyes, “Do you want to have kids with me? Get you knocked up?” Ran says with a smirk caressing you while the other hand occupies the steering wheel and turns on the left, “Not that you would make it” you say lowering your gaze. Ran noticed the sudden change of humor and it brings to his mind that you always replied that you didn’t want children, so why are you acting like this? “You wanna tell me what you’re thinking? I’m serious now” he says, parking in front of your house and exhaling a breath as you get out, “There’s nothing to talk about!” you continue taking the keys and opening the door. Ran follows you lazily and takes his coat off, he looks for you and finds you in your bedroom taking off your dress and staring at your surgery’s scars, they’re small and no one would notice them unless they stare close enough.

TIME BACK 4 YEARS

“What's these, pretty?” Ran says caressing your naked body and longing his eyes to the mini scars in your lower stomach “Endometriosis” you simply say as if it's nothing important, “Did it hurt?” he continues while touching the scars softly and feeling as he wants to know more, “It still does, but I’m used to it now” you say while caressing his purple hair and looking at him with voidly eyes, “You’re even stronger than I thought you would be” he says before getting close to your lips and kissing you as to reassure you.

PRESENT

“Do you remember the second time we had sex I noticed them” he says while hugging you from behind and caressing them just like he did that time, “I know for a fact that it’s difficult to handle the disease, I can see it with my own eyes but what I miss is why you would feel like that after seeing babies” he states calmly while putting your hair to the side and kiss your neck, “I don’t want children, I’m happy with what I achieved until now, it’s just that I don’t like judging stares from families at work, and I don’t like that even if I would want to try I don’t have the possibility to conceive” you say with a frown as a child unsatisfied with what she has. It’s greedy and egoistic what you say but Ran can’t help but smirk, he feels like falling in love all over again with the young girl that despite the difficulties she could take everything she wants, in his own eyes your greediness is what makes you move forward and achieve all that you want. “My love, there’s something else that you miss despite being the most powerful girl out there” he says while taking something out of his pocket and showing a diamond and continues “That’s to marry me and become even more powerful” with a smile you give him your hand and he puts the ring on your finger “I would gladly become a Haitani if this means I get to enjoy our lives until death tears us apart” you say before kissing him and thanking him to be your rock in difficult times.

How does it end up? You and Ran are the classic rich couple who goes every weekend on holiday if you aren’t working. Everyone still judges you but as time passes by you learnt that most of them are just jealous and that your nephews love you almost like Rindou and their mother. You enjoy your mundane life and despite sometimes you would think how it would be your life with a blonde girl in it, you and Ran always have a smile even after years of marriage and most of your years spent together behind you.

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#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengerd dads #tokyo revengers x reader #hajime kokonoi #mitsuya takashi #ran haitani #hajime kokonoi x reader #mitsuya takashi x reader #ran haitani x reader #mitsuya smut #endometriosis #chronic illness awareness #tok rev haitani #tok rev kokonoi #tok rev mitsuya

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compost-intraining · 2 years

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Things I didn’t realize were from hEDS until recently! 🦓

Disclaimer- a lot of these symptoms can be normal by themselves, if you suspect you have EDS I’d suggest looking into the 2017 diagnostic criteria. Some of these I was told my doctors, others I found online. Just trying to spread awareness for EDS and some of the lesser known symptoms :)

Stretch marks without history of significant weight gain/loss (especially around joints)

Poor vision

Heel papules (lil white bumps on your heel when you stand)

Heart palpitations

Finding odd sitting positions more comfortable

Weak nails (ridges, breaking easily, etc.)

Being unable to walk in heels lmao

Tinnitus

Raynauds

Bad teeth (frequent cavities, dental crowding, etc.)

Holding a pencil oddly, with tight grip

Brain fog

Scoliosis (I don’t have this but my cousin does and so do a lot of other ppl with EDS)

Poor coordination and balance issues

issues with anaesthesia

Flat feet

Long fingers (arachnodactyly is the fancy name)

Getting blisters very easily

GI issues

Anxiety lol

Headaches

Fatigue

Super easy bruising and scarring

Temperature dysregulation

I can go on- there are so many and hEDS is SO much more than weak joints. Honestly the more I learn about it the more frustrated I get that I didn’t get diagnosed earlier. Sending love to any chronically ill ppl seeing this. You are so valid even if you’re undiagnosed <3. And if you have any questions ab hEDS or chronic illnesses in general, feel free to put it in my ask box. I’m not a doctor or anything but I have done a lot of research :)

Edit: would like the clarify that these apply to JHS and HSD as well. Imo they’re essentially the same thing, hEDS just has a stricter diagnostic criteria

#heds #pots #edsawareness #chronic illness awareness #chronic illness #hypermobile ehlers danlos #ehlers danlos #hsd #hypermobility #disability #disabled #cripple punk

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clockworkskullies · 1 month

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Photosynthesis || AP portfolio 3/19/2024

A piece detailing the frustration of trying treatment methods with no positive result. If plants can sustain from something as simple as water, why can’t a warm bath mend my sore muscles and aching bones?

#artist on tumblr #digital artist #digital drawing #procreate #ap portfolio #ap art portfolio #ap art class #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic illness art #chronically ill #disability #disability awareness #chronic illness awareness

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skybluegh0st · 7 months

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If you suffer with chronic sinusitis like I do, here’s some memes to help cope with the pain

#SOME OF THESE ARE ODDLY SPECIFIC I KNOW LMAO #I know a lot of people with chronic illnesses who are not taken seriously by doctors though #it sucks a lot #anyways. this is for my bad bitches with fucked up noses!!#chronic illness #chronic sinusitis #I was just properly diagnosed in the summer. had it for 8+ years tho.#I have to get surgery 😭#chronic pansinusitis #chronically ill #chronic illness memes #chronically ill memes #disabled memes #invisible disease #invisible disability #chronic illness awareness #chronic sinusitis memes #chronic sinusitis awareness

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fakegingerrights · 11 months

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You’re no Burden

[writing this after I had a mild flare up that got worse throughout the day, purely self indulgent reader comfort from this. So. Rex x Chronically ill!fem!reader. Mentions of illness, a little angst (it’s me what do you expect), nonsexual nudity from bathing together, and all the fluff.]

Rex knew you had your days, when your mental toll began to affect your body. When you struggled to even get out of bed when you hurt so bad, when you couldn’t wear your favorite jewelry because your joints were swollen. When all you wanted to do was sleep.

He’d seen some of the mild ones, knew when you were getting tired and needed to go home to rest.

He made sure to know which medications you could take, which ones were for emergencies, which ones would make you sleepy and which ones would make you nauseous.

When the Resolute came into orbit, his comm lit up with the messages he hadn’t received in hyperspace. The first few were about how excited you were to see him again, how you had found a diner you wanted to try with him, etc. The next one said that you might be at work when he got home, and to let himself in with the key on top of the doorframe.

The next one made him pause, worry making a pit in his stomach as he noticed the timestamp from an unholy hour of the morning Coruscanti time, saying you were having a flare up and wouldn’t be going in to work when he got back, and apologizing profusely for not being able to meet him someplace.

Rex called in a favor with Anakin to make sure he had the first ship planetside.

He let himself into your small apartment, staying as quiet as possible in case you were asleep.

“Hope that’s you, Rex.” He relaxed a little at your hoarse voice, a familiar warmth creeping into his chest.

“It is.” He called back, glancing at your bedroom door as he dekitted. He heard the shuffle of fabric on fabric before you appeared, dresses in a soft shirt and loose pants.

Your tired face broke into a soft smile as he finally frees himself of his armor and pulls you into a hug, sighing at the contact.

“How’re you feeling?” He asked softly, brushing a strand of tangled hair out of your face.

“Better, now that I know you’re home safe.” You mumbled. “It’s been a crappy day.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Hmm, why don’t we take a hot shower and go back to bed. I can make a call to Dex’s and pick up dinner.”

You made a considering hum. “Ok. I’m so sorry, Rex. That I couldn’t give you a proper welcome home.”

Rex’s face softened, a lopsided smile tugging at his lips. “Mesh’la, I have a home to come back to thanks to you. That’s more than enough for me. C’mon, I haven’t had a hot shower since I left.” He gleefully scooped you up, being as gentle as possible as he carried you into the refresher, setting you on the counter while he fiddled with the shower.

You giggled slightly as he pulled at your shirt, sliding it over your head with practiced efficiency. As steam rose in the air and gooseflesh broke out across newly bare skin he took his time, pausing to press butterfly light kisses to your stomach and ribs and collarbone before working your breastband off, then your shorts and underwear. His own undersuit was shucked without a second thought as he made sure two dry, clean towels were waiting for you two when you got out.

Rex stepped in first, rolling his neck and shoulders appreciatively under the stream of hot water before reaching an arm out to help you in, smoothing a gentle touch down your back as you got your hair wet. He was quick to grab your shampoo and conditioner, setting them nearby as he worked the first into your hair.

"I can wash my own hair, Rex." You sigh as his fingers gently pull apart knot after knot.

"I know you can, but I want to do this for you." He covers your eyes and tips your head back into the spray before switching to conditioner. "You do so much for me, Cyare. You've given me a home to come back to, a place to belong outside of war... I don't even have a last name to offer you in return one day." You stiffen slightly at the last bit before melting into his touch.

"If we have a one day, between my illness and your war, you can have mine, ok?"

It was Rex's turn to pause, his hands stilling for a moment before moving to the base of your skull, gently kneading the tight muscles leading down into your neck, then your shoulders. Finally, he spoke.

"Is that a promise?" He asks at last, his voice soft above the hiss of the water.

"I guess it is."

Rex made a soft sound in his throat, tilting your head back and rinsing out the majority of the conditioner with one hand and shielding your eyes with the other, taking the opportunity to feather kisses across your nose before pressing a soft, slightly soapy tasting one to your mouth.

Once the conditioner was done he passed you the bar of soap and let you scrub yourself down before doing the same, the two of you lingering under the spray before it started to creep slightly cold. Rex shut it off and grabbed your towel first, wrapping it securely around you before tying his own around his waist, shaking himself like a dog to rid his upper half of excess water.

You grabbed a fresh set of underthings and opted for one of the teeshirts you had bought for Rex instead of proper pajamas. Rex grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt before kissing you on the top of your head, grabbing his comlink.

"I'm gonna call Dex's for dinner, if that's alright? Do you have any medications you need to take before dinner? When's the last time you took a painkiller?"

You smiled softly. "If you could grab me another from the medicine cabinet by the sink that would be nice." Your muscles ached, cramping pressure tearing through your lower half. It had been there all day, but Rex's arrival had pushed you to action. You sat on your bed and closed your eyes, breathing through your nose. Rex's voice carried from the other room as he placed an order for food.

Your mind blurred and drifted, and before you realized what was happening you were laying back against the pillows while Rex sat next to you, brushing hair away that had fallen into your face.

"You fell asleep." He said softly. "I ordered your favorite. It'll be here in a few minutes. Still want that painkiller?" He hefted the painstim.

You winced as you sat up, nodding sleepily. Rex instantly slipped an arm around your waist, letting you lean on him. He helped you tilt your head to the side, baring your neck. "Little pinch, Cyare." He slipped the needle under your skin and administered the painkiller. Icy relief slowly spread through your system as he pulled the needle out and plastered a small cotton patch over the pinprick.

You hissed, then snuggled into his side, listening to his heartbeat. A hand rubbed up and down your back as a fuller sense of alertness settled back upon you.

Rex chuckled at your sleepy demeanor, enjoying simply being in your presence until the food arrived. You made idle chit-chat, discussing who did what in the 501st and what was going on in the GAR that he could tell you. Rex got up to get the food when it arrived, grabbing a towel and laying it out so no mess would get on the blankets as you two split your food, Rex pretending not to notice as you stole some of his potato fries and you deliberately ignoring when he stole a bite or two of your nerf steak.

The painkiller in full effect, you offered to do the dishes. Rex reluctantly agreed, offering to find a holo to watch.

"You've done so much for me already today, Rex." You argued back, no real heat behind your words.

"You do so much every time I'm on leave, Mesh'la." Was his response as he passed you his plate and utensils. "What do you want to watch?" He asked, but you caught his eye and tutted at him.

"Ah ah ah, It's your night to pick, you're not getting out of it again." You teased, dumping the dishes in the sink and spraying them with water.

"But I never know what to pick..." Rex pouted a little, hoping to sway you.

"Then pick the firsts thing you see. If it's awful, we'll just make fun of it and have fun that way." You reassured him, and the pout turned into a weak smile as he turned on the television. Neither of you acknowledged that he was cheating slightly by picking from your stash of favorited movies, settling on one about flying, firebreathing lizards.

And if you fell asleep again half way through, Rex's hand brushing through your hair absently while he watched the story of the huge black dragon and padawan-aged kid unfold. There was no place either of you would rather be in that moment, gentle time with each other so rare that even this domestic moment was a treasured memory in the making.

#captain rex x reader #clone wars #captain rex #star wars #the clone wars #clone wars captain rex #captain rex imagine #chronic illness awareness #GingerWrites

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livingwithlupus614 · 1 year

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Truth

#lupuswarrior #narcolepsy #chronic illness awareness #chronicillnesslife #systemic lupus erythematosus #sle lupus #adhd #adult adhd #chronic illness warrior

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mintyfoxsstuff · 6 months

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♡Help My Friend♡

I know that I dont have as much reach as most people but I know a good deal of my followers may recoignize me from fandoms I used to write for. Im asking that if you can comfortably donate to my friend Kenn (@kenntowol) (@entowoldesigns) please take the time to do so, or spread his posts about donating. If youres seeing this post and would like to commission an art piece from him you can click on my blog to see more posts about how to help/ways to help/ and more about why we are dontating! I know sometimes it can be a little daunting to donate to someone on the internet, especially in times like these but I promise you:

Every little bit helps.

Below is the link to the G0fundme, and I will be reblogging the masterlink post in just a moment. Thank you so much for reading, donating, reblogging, liking, and sharing ♡

#signal boost #signal b00st #help please #send help #gofundme #go fund them #chronic illness #chronic illness awareness

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neurosky · 7 months

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Here's some advice to anyone who spreads awareness and/or advocates for any illness/condition (from someone who's been doing the same for almost 4 years):

Learn where your boundaries are, and what you want to share.

I've been going over advocating publicly with my therapist for a couple months now, and I've learned a lot. I went through a sort of burnout in 2022, and I didn't really know why. But now I realize that I didn't set boundaries for what I shared with the world.

Please, please, PLEASE keep some things to yourself or between close friends/family. Not for other people's sake, but for your own! Yes, there's a lot of information that could help you get to your goal of advocacy or educating others, but your mental health is important, too.

I've been setting more boundaries for myself recently, and I find it so much easier to come out of that burnout, and I find it easier to advocate now!

It takes time to figure out where your own personal boundaries lie, as it's different for everyone, but it's so worth it. You got this <3

#advocacy #awareness #mental illness #chronic illness #mental health awareness #chronic illness awareness

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chronicbeans · 1 year

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Can I hear more about your hospital? I love your writing and I absolutely adore the stories vibe so far. So can I ask for some miscellaneous info about either the hospital it self, characters, or the doctors? :)

Omg! Yay! Okay, I will give a little information on each of the three topics!

TW: Hospital Setting/Doctors, Chronic Illness, Medication Mentions/Medical Procedures, Age Regression Due to Trauma

🏥 So, for the hospital itself... The outside world(s) sees it as a mysterious place where people just... pop up. Some go there willingly to get help. Those who don't are usually those from other worlds. They tend to, quite literally, fall from the sky. Derek and the narrator from The Hall of Addiction are two of these people who fell out of the sky. Whenever somebody tries to escape the hospital, the halls shift and change, causing the escapees to get lost.

🏥 Dr. Victor Cogsworth was created to be "the closest thing to human". Humans are seen as mythical creatures in the world where the Iolite Hospital resides. They have emotions, intelligence, and more! He has emotions, but just... can't figure out what. He suffers from Alexithymia, which isn't a condition, but an inability to identify and describe your own emotions. It usually is seen as a symptom of other conditions. He can feel the physical sensations of emotions, and tries to use them to describe how he is feeling because he KNOWS it is an emotion, but can't figure out what. Due to him not knowing how he is feeling, he often has an emotionless expression and monotone voice, due to his programming saying to only show emotions based on what he is feeling. He doesn't know it, so he just... Doesn't show it. He does cry automatically when feeling an emotion that would cause it, thus, confusing him as to why he is crying. I have kinda decided to use him to represent the USA healthcare system, in a way. Taking a medical class in high school and having a retired nurse as the teacher really lets you know how much of a struggle it is for both patients and healthcare workers. The system kinda treats most patients the same, even though the doctors, nurses, and other staff are aware that every patient is different. They are also taught, usually, to try to not show anxiety, fear, and other negative emotions to keep them calm. Everything is locked inside. So, on the outside, he is meant to be robotic in his movements, with his music box being the main clue as to how he is feeling (it kind of works like a heartbeat. Quick = anxious, nervous, angry. Slow = Calm, collected, tired), like the healthcare system itself and the habit of hiding distressing emotions. Meanwhile, inside, he feels so much but simply cannot explain it, like the actual workers.

🏥 Aluminum is my most near and dear character. I created him to represent my experiences with my own condition, Eosinophilic Esophagitis (which is symbolized by both EoE and EE, depending on the hospital/facility). I try to write for him the most, simply due to how I have the most experience with my own condition. I made him mostly because I have never seen a single story about my own condition besides patients talking about themselves. Usually, they are put in ads for specific hospitals/healthcare facilities or medications. That isn't to say I am not grateful for that representation, though! I am so glad they had the courage to speak about it! It is just... Who is going to watch an ad/patient story besides other people or family members of people with EoE? So, I made Aluminum! He is terrified of needles (ahem like me), and since he cannot swallow pills due to his esophagus being narrow, he must take dupilumab, which is an injectable medication. He age regresses due to the trauma of his diagnosis, using it as a way to go back to the time when he was blissfully unaware of his condition. It was a very rare occurrence. Ever since he has started dupilumab, he has been regressing more often. Derek has decided to try to take care of him in the moments when he regresses. It is ironic, because he has always wanted to work in a daycare and has always wanted to seem mature and "adult". He has started to bring around a pacifier, not because he regresses to that young of an age, but because he stims by chewing on soft things specifically, and a pacifier is the best thing he can get his hands on. He stole it from the neonatal (newborn) ward, and either nobody has noticed, or nobody cares enough to get it back.

🏥 Derek is, of course, mute, as mentioned in the story. It was caused by him having apraxia of speech, which is usually caused by damage to the brain that allows the vocal cords to move, ever since a very young age. It was before he learned to speak that the damage occurred, and it was difficult for him to learn how to speak with his condition, even as he got older. So, he decided to live his life mute. He uses writing instead of sign language because he finds that, while many people do know sign language, not everybody does. So, it is more accessible. Especially since there are many different types of sign language, as well as the fact that there are people from whole other worlds in the hospital. So, there is no reason to learn, even in the hospital. Though, he does find it odd how all these people from all these different worlds seem to know the one, shared language of English between each other. He is probably the most "I don't care" guy there, as he just really doesn't care how different you are from him. He will mesh well with you, as long as you don't like kill someone or do something horrible.

#my original story #my ocs #chronic illness #chronic illness awareness #i have put so much thought into this #you can't even imagine #my ocs are my babies

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