#christian would probably call me a mark and i’m okay with that
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Real Cinema
#edge and christian#adam copeland#christian cage#Wwe#cinema#The Edge And Christian Show That Totally Reeks Of Awesomeness#shitpost#enjoy#i should go to bed#but instead I’m watching wrestling#pro wrestling#i love them#it’s so funny#so goofy#Christian would probably call me a mark and I’m okay with that
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Thanks for the tag @tired-twili !!!
I Forgot The Title Of This Ask Game But Here We Go
What Book Are You Currently Reading?
Relationship OCD: A CBT Guide To Move Beyond Obsessive Doubt, Anxiety, And Fear Of Commitment In Romantic Relationships (to call myself out oof)
What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?
Hold on I forget what came out this year I need to Google.
Okay probably Sonic 2 because video game movies being a positive experience makes me hopeful and Dr. Strange writers literally dumping my girl Wanda in the trash physically hurts me.
What do you usually wear:
Either something really comfy with very little effort or something really fancy with a lot of effort there’s no in between
How tall are you?
5’4”
What is your star sign?
Aries!
Do you go by your name or a nick name?
I usually go by a nickname because my birth name is aggressively long. (Thanks parents)
Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be when you were a child?
It’s hard for me to imagine BEING something since I’m still in grad school but when I was little I did want to be an author!!
Are you in a relationship?
Yes! I’m in a long distance relationship with a Zelda speedrunner with the username K_Grovyle. We met at the Zelda Dungeon Marathon in July and have been getting to know each other since. He’s so cute and I love him lots ❤️ We also get to reunite in a few days!
What’s something you’re good at versus something you’re bad at?
I’m good at writing sometimes I guess? And I’m bad at calming my anxiety but I’m working on it
Cats or dogs?
Babyyyyy goop
What’s your favorite line from something you created this year?
For a fleeting moment, it was like they were back in Hyrule, no caves, no ruins, no blood on the walls, no fear in his heart. It was like the sun had shone and set, had risen golden and amber like a million worthless, precious days that had once marked their happy ending, their happy, joyous beginning of a future.
What’s something you’d like to create content for?
Star Wars! It’s just kind of intimidating…
What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?
I’m kind of in between obsessions? I just finished season 8 of Stargate SG-1 which is the last season that counts and soon I’ll be watching ATLA for the first time so maybe I’ll be obsessed with that?
What’s something you were excited about this year that turned out to be disappointing?
Ugh
Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness
If you want me to do a full rant send me an ask
What’s a hidden talent of yours?
Uhh how would I know if it’s hidden?
Are you religious?
Eh not really. I was raised Christian and hold to some Christian values like caring about other people but otherwise it’s a lot of blind faith and homophobia for some reason so nah
Anyone who wants to do this, go ahead!!
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forbidden fruit - part one
mark x reader (literally all smut and completely self-indulgent)
mark is the epitome of innocence. pastor’s son and good christian boy. can he be tempted by the forbidden fruit?
UNEDITED
if you see this and you know me. inreal life, no you didn’t
word count: 3.8k (blame red wine me)
warnings: language, fingering, choking kinda? (mark chokes himself), mutual masturbation, mommy kink, handjob, sub mark, blowjob, mentions of virginity and religion, uh wet dreams, sex toys, probably more lmk what i missed
You had met Mark 3 years ago in your church’s youth group. You never really liked church if you were honest, finding the whole thing rather stupid. However, Mark made coming to church very worth it. He was your age, the pastor’s son and probably the most handsome boy in your small town.
You spent your high school years pining after the boy. Your hormones were out of control and associating all horniness with his face. A real problem when you had to spend hours with him at church.
You ran into him one day on your campus your freshman year, his face lighting up as the two of you made small talk. You talked pretty regularly after that, becoming closer than you had been before, and when the two of you moved in together you thought all of your wet dreams were about to come true.
At least until Mark drunkenly confessed to you one night that he was “like totally a virgin, dude.”
The two of you were giggling messes, too many bottles of empty soju surrounding where you sat on the floor. Mark’s cheeks were deep red seconds after the words came out of his mouth.
“Yo, I can’t believe I just said that, omg,” he said, hands covering his face as his ears reddened.
“It’s ok, Mark,” you giggled, pulling his hands off of his face, “I kinda figured you were.”
You hadn’t, but you didn’t want him to feel embarrassed, and you certainly didn’t want him to stop talking about it.
“Really?” he asked, a hopeful look on his face, “are you too?”
“No,” you giggled, hands covering your own face now, Mark’s whine ringing out in your mostly empty living room.
“This-uh,” Mark whispered, “Sorry if this is uh- a weird question and you totally don't have to answer if you don't want to dude, but what did it feel like?”
So you told him, you answered every question he had that night. And when the two of you drunkenly parted ways, it was with a stickiness between your legs and an obvious tent in his pants. And that was the start of your current relationship with Mark.
It had been awkward at first, after that night. But he had started asking you more and more questions. They started off innocently enough, like what kissing felt like. Yeah, he was that innocent. But the questions started getting more and more sexual, and it was getting harder and harder to control yourself around him.
You found yourself starting off simply at first. Changing what you wore around the house. It began by you wearing shorter and shorter pj bottoms. And then by wearing tops that gradually increased in sheerness, until you started just wearing oversized t-shirts. Losing pieces of underwear as you went.
Yeah, you were trying to seduce him. But who could blame you? Mark was the center of your wet dreams, and he had been so since the start of 8th grade. So who were you to deny his request?
It had been a regular Tuesday, classes attended and dinner shared when a blushing Mark had turned to you on the couch.
“Something has been happening to me,” he confessed, his bright pink cheeks enough to make you soften.
“Are you ok?” you had asked, completely convinced that he had never approached any topic like this before with you.
“It’s just-,” he started, glancing nervously to the clasped hands in his lap, “I’ve been thinking about all the answers you’ve given me about...sex and all that. And well everytime that happens, I get this...heat in my abdomen. And no matter what I can’t make it go away.”
“Mark-,” you breathed out, glancing swiftly down to where, sure enough, there was a tent in his pants, “Are you talking about being horny?”
“I don’t- I don’t know what you mean,” he whispered, flushing an (impossibly) deeper shade of pink.
“Oh sweetheart,” you whispered, “Are you feeling the heat in your abdomen now?”
You smiled gently as he nodded shyly back at you. Encouraging him with your facial expression as you hummed in acknowledgement.
“This is called being horny, Mark.” you spoke, much more calmly and clearly than you thought possible because of the heat tickling your own lower half. “What do you normally do when you feel this way?”
“I-I don’t normally do anything,” Mark admitted, eyes flicking up to yours for just a moment before settling back to his own clasped hands, “I just try to distract myself until it goes away.”
“Oh you poor thing,” you whispered, drawing your hand up to Mark’s face and caressing it gently, “Have you ever made yourself cum, Mark?”
Mark looked up at you again, confusion on his brow as he shook his head, “I don’t know-know what you mean.”
“You’re such a sweet angel,” you said, “Would you like me to show you how you can make it go away?”
Mark’s eyes connected with yours, and finally, they stayed there. He looked deep in thought, but before you could rush to apologize and hurry back to your room, he spoke.
“You can make it go away?” he asked hesitantly, and god did you want to ruin him on the spot. Wrap your lips around him and make him curse the lord he so deeply believed in. But you held back. The last thing you wanted to do was scare him away.
“I can show you,” you spoke slowly, “if you want me to.”
“I think I might like that,” he whispered, the bob of his adams apple making you grow damp between your thighs. There was just something about Mark that made you insatiably hungry. And not for a meal.
You scooted closer to him on the couch, ignoring the thumping of your heart and the wetness between your legs as you spoke, “I’m gonna tell you what you need to do. And you’re gonna listen, aren't you, baby?”
Mark’s eyes widened as he gulped, but he still nodded his head. You felt a little bad for how nervous he seemed, considering how excited you were.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” You asked, analyzing his face closely. When he nodded you just tutted at him, “I need words, Mark.”
“Yeah,” he spoke, “I really want to do this.”
“Okay,” you smiled gently at him, “I want you to start by letting your hands explore. Touch everywhere, slowly, and find what feels best for you, Mark.”
You watched intently as he slowly brought his hand up to his neck, letting his fingers hesitantly dance across his skin. His eyes shot to yours when he shuddered, unable to stop himself.
“Is-is that good?” he asked, whining as he dropped his hand to his chest.
“You’re doing so good, Mark,” you encouraged, hesitantly placing your hand on his thigh, “Is it ok if I touch you like this?”
Mark nodded so quickly you almost laughed, the blush dusting his cheeks almost as cute as the way he squirmed under your grasp. His breathing increased as you crept your fingers slowly up his thigh. You let your hand rest on his hip, splaying your fingers so close to his dick but so far away.
“You’re- you’re making it worse,” he stuttered out, letting out a shocked moan as his fingers brushed over his nipple.
“No, baby,” you smirked at him, “I’m making it better.”
Mark’s cock jumped in his sweats, his blush deepening as he let out another quiet moan, “I- I like it when you call me that.”
“Hmm,” you hummed, “I’m glad you like being called baby, it suits you.”
His breath hitched as you dipped a finger beneath the band of his sweats, letting it rest there. You smiled when his hands met yours, grabbing his pants and tugging them off. You almost moaned as his glistening red cock slapped his stomach. He hadn’t been wearing underwear.
“What do I do now?” he whispered, eyes blown out with lust and hair perfectly tousled.
You let your finger trail up to where a bead of precum rested on the head of his dick. You watched as his face scrunched in pleasure, breath knocked out of him as you swirled the wetness around the tip.
“Make sure your hand is wet enough,” you said, spitting into your hand, smirking as Mark’s eyes shot open at the noise, flickering down to where your hand was hovering over his cock.
You watched as he swallowed, his own fingers curling into the couch as he said, “Will you please touch me now?”
“How could I say no when my baby asks so nicely,” you said, eyes never leaving his face as you finally wrapped a hand around his length.
Mark was a sight to behold. Sweat glistened on his forehead as you wrapped your hand tightly around his cock. The guttural moan he let out was enough to have you cumming in your pants, but you held strong. Well as strong as you could as he clung onto your form. You dragged your hand slowly up his length, thumb flicking over the head of his cock as he groaned into your shoulder.
You felt on top of the world, Mark’s pleasure the direct response to every flick of your wrist. You barely recognized him. Whining, needy mess as he mewled into your shoulder.
“Mo-mommy,” he whimpered, hands quickly finding your core, “Can I touch you too?”
Who were you to deny your polite boy, quickly and ungracefully shoving your panties to the side to give Mark an easier access to your heat. You’d be lying if you said the term mommy had no effect on you. In fact, you were dripping at this point, just one look at Mark enough to make your pussy throb in need. Not that you would tell him that.
“Baby,” you said quietly, guiding Mark’s over-enthusiastic hand to your clit, “right here, keep rubbing in circles.”
“Yes, mommy,” he whimpered, shoving his reddened face into your shoulder as your wrist moved quicker up and down his length.
“Good boy,” you groaned, squirming where you sat on the couch as Mark slipped a finger into your dripping cunt.
You were getting each other off at an inhuman pace, the two of you squirming and wiggling where you sat. The pleasure of it all too much to take. This was Mark’s first time feeling any contact on his cock, and you’d be lying if you said you never dreamed of Mark’s fingers pumping into you at the pace they were now.
This was the definition of a wet dream, for both of you. And as you came with his fingers reaching a place in you no one else had reached before, you were determined to make Mark cum.
You flicked your thumb around the head of his cock, watching with half lidded eyes as he shuddered. He was putty in your hands, and there was no way in hell that he would ever be able to touch himself the way you were touching him now. And you didn’t care. The only thing you cared about in this moment was throwing him off the edge with you. Corrupting that sweet little church boy the only way you knew how.
It was with a satisfying grin and an earth-shattering moan from Mark as you watched cum spurt from him. Eyes scrunched in pleasure as his entire body shook with a feeling he had never experienced before. An orgasm.
You watched in wonder as he clung onto you. Sweat dripped from his forehead as he threw his head back on the couch. You watched as his cock twitched as rope after rope of cum sprung from him, years of pent up pleasure finally releasing at your hands. You had never felt more powerful in that moment.
You parted that night with a sweet kiss to his lips after cleaning him up. Boneless Mark even more pliable than before, and as much as you hated yourself for it, you couldn’t stop thinking about what you could do to a sleepy Mark. That night there was no awkwardness between you.
That, of course, changed as time passed, both of you ignoring the mutual pleasure you had achieved by the other's hand. You ignored any feelings you had, whether it be attraction or lust. Mark deliberately avoided you, and as much as you hated to admit it, but you avoided him too.
You were convinced the two of you would never recover from this, from your experimentation with each other's bodies. At least until he burst into your room one Sunday afternoon, notably after his father’s church service, with a question and burning cheeks.
“Have you ever given a blowjob?” he asked, the door to your bedroom swinging into the wall with a loud bang that neither of you could hear.
“Mark?” you asked, putting your laptop to the side as you looked quizzically up at him.
“I watched one..porn video about it last week and I haven't been able to focus since.”
“You watch porn now?” you asked, raising a critical eyebrow as you looked him up and down.
“I-, no” Mark stuttered, face flushing an impossibly deeper shade of red, “yes, what about it?”
“You sound sure of yourself,” you teased, “come sit.”
“Never mind-”Mark rushed out, turning away from you and hurrying towards your open door.
“Sit, Mark. Now please,” you spoke, dominance in your tone as you watched his body language change.
You smiled softly to yourself as he shuffled to your bed, sitting on the edge and avoiding your gaze.
“Did you have a question for me, baby?”
You almost laughed as he sighed, body immediately relaxing at the nickname he had told you he loved so much.
“I was just wondering,” he said, glancing up at you and losing his confidence, “haveyouevergivenablowjob?”
“What was that? I couldn’t quite catch that, Mark,” you said, knowing glance as you watched his lips form into a perfect pout.
“Are you really gonna make me ask again,” he whispered, looking down from where his eyes previously met yours.
“Yes, baby, I am.”
You grasped his hand as he whined, squeezing his palm slightly as he pouted up at you.
“Have you ever given a blowjob?” he whispered, eyes glancing to every corner of the room to avoid your gaze.
“I have.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle as his eyes met yours curiously. Fingers playing with your comforter as you watched the wheels turning in his brain. You were begging him to ask, practically groveling for him to say the words that would fuel the corruption kink you had solely for Mark.
“Can you…” Mark started, scotting subconsciously closer to you, “can you give me one?”
“Well that depends on you, Mark. Do you think you deserve my mouth?”
You watched with bated breath as he nodded, a tent already fully formed in his pants as the conversation went on.
“What makes you think you deserve it, huh? You’ve been ignoring me for weeks, Mark. After Mommy made you feel so good. You ignored me, and now I find out you’ve been watching porn. Being such a naughty boy. Doesn’t really seem right to give you my mouth.”
You had him now, hook line and sinker. He was trapped, listening to every one of your words, waiting with bated breath as you made up your mind.
“I- I’ve never felt it before, Mommy. I promise I’ll be better next time. I’ll do better next time. Just please suck me off,” he begged, filthy words dripping from his mouth in desperation.
“I’m ruining you, Mark,” you whispered, “Absolutely destroying your sweet innocence. What about your God, Mark? Would he want you to beg for my mouth like you just did?”
“I-,” he started, quieting as you pushed a finger towards his lips.
“It’s ok, baby. I’ll make you worship that God of yours in a way you didn’t even know was possible.
You steadied his shaking body as you switched him places on your bed. Sitting in front of him in your disgustingly dirty pj top and messy bun as he laid in front of you. You tugged his pants down, licking your lips in want as his cock slapped his stomach.
You wanted this just as much as he did, evident by your drool and dirty thoughts. You hadn’t noticed his sizable length before, too focused on all of the other unbelievable things that had happened before wrapping your hand around his cock. You took it all in now, the glory of Mark’s cock, pulsing red and so incredibly hard in need. If he hadn’t whimpered you would’ve stared at this beautiful sight for hours. But he was needy and so were you. So you wrapped your mouth around him. And dear God was Mark a sight to behold.
He had stars in his eyes as your tongue ran up the length of his cock. He could barely contain himself as his hips bucked up into your mouth. Politeness leaving his body as he followed his craving for pleasure.
Within seconds his hands were in your hair. Tugging as you worked your mouth over his sensitive length. He was barely holding it together, and the second you reached the bottom of his cock, he cursed.
His hips were itching to move, you could feel the way they bucked ever so slightly as you took him. Your hands grasped his thigh tightly as he unintentionally pushed your head down. You were taking as much as he gave you, and as he whined in pleasure you couldn’t help A second later he wasn’t touching you anymore, eyes wide when you glanced up at him.
“So-sorry,” he whispered, for what you weren’t sure.
“What’s wrong, Mark?” you asked gently.
“I should go,” he said, face paling as he scooted further away from you on the bed, “This isn’t right.”
You stood up quickly, sitting beside him and cupping his face in your hands, “Mark you can go if you want to, I won’t stop you. But do you really think something that felt so good could be bad?”
“I-I don’t know,” he whispered, shying away from your touch, “I’m going to the library.”
He stood up quickly, half tripping as he tried to pull his pants back up, fumbling with himself and the door as he tried to leave.
“Mark,” you called out to him, waiting until he turned to meet your gaze before continuing, “It’s ok that you aren’t ready yet. But I’m always here if you have more questions.”
He nodded at you, “Thank you, for understanding,” blush returning to his cheeks as he spoke, “I feel comfortable around you, Yn.”
He closed the door after he left, and while your Sunday afternoon was spent attached to a vibrator, you were glad Mark had felt comfortable enough with you to tell you that he wasn’t comfortable.
Maybe you had pushed him too far, and as much as it killed you, you were glad he was taking his time. If your baby wasn’t ready to go any further than handjobs, then that was that. He was too innocent to be corrupted, which is what made corrupting him all the better.
Yes, Mark had been full of curiosity and questions. But you were the one who wasn’t ready for the question he asked next.
#mark smut#mark angst#mark fluff#mark fanfic#mark lee smut#mark lee angst#mark lee fluff#mark lee fanfic#mark tuan smut#mark tuan angst#mark tuan fluff#mark tuan fanfic#this i wrote with mark lee in mind but its hot either way
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Hug
Pelle x reader
Word Count: 2.2k
Warnings: Danis grief and the things that come with that (crying, heaviness)
Author’s Note: this was not on my list of things I wanted to write and yet
I feel held by him okay
Summary: You and Pelle meet through Dani and Christian (man I suck at summaries)
Song: Run by Hozier
I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director
(not my gif)
Dani liked you. She liked you a lot. You made her feel sane and that helped her in more ways than one. She liked the fact that you would always listen to her and tell her that she was right, even when she was wrong. She liked that your eyes never once flitted away from her when she spoke. She liked that you understood her grief in a way that most people would never try to.
She almost had no desire to introduce you to Christian. She loved Christian, she really did, but you didn’t need to meet her boyfriend.
Dani thought, even though you did appreciate her that you would never understand the way that he loved Christian. Maybe she didn’t even understand it.
In any event, she wouldn’t be able to explain in an adequate way.
But still, you pushed.
You were hanging out with her, in her room. She was walking around the room numbly, trying to understand why her head never seemed to be wrapped around the room when people were speaking. A sorrow was still hanging over her.
“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked. You were sitting on her desk, watching her anxiously pace back and forth.
“No.” She stopped walking. “I’m sorry, that was blunt.” You shook your head.
“Don’t worry about it. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want,” you told her evenly. Dani walked up to you and sat down at the chair in front of you. She felt a little more clear headed with you. It helped to be around people sometimes. Tears started to well up in her eyes but she quickly shook them away.
“Christian has been distant lately. I don’t know how to tell him I still need him without being...needy,” she said, avoiding your eyes.
“He should understand.” You gave her a narrow look and she sighed.
“Yeah yeah. I know you wanna meet him.”
“I just wanna learn about this guy who supposedly has absolute zero ability to read his girlfriends moods.” She sighed.
“You wanna meet him? Alright. You can meet him. But his friends will probably be there and if you don’t wanna-”
“I’d love to meet his friends as well. You can tell a lot about a person based on the company that they keep.”
====
“This is Y/N. Y/N this is Christian, Mark, Josh and Pelle.” You shook their hands, a kind smile on your face. Mark eyed you for a second longer than he should have and you weren’t sure how to feel about them as a whole. A very basic group of boys that may not be all that they seemed. You were all at Christians place which was dirty. Clothes were on the floor and most of his books were strewn around. There was food on the kitchen counters.
You ignored your initial thoughts and waved slyly.
“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you all.” Truth be told, you didn’t know much about any of them but Christian. You barely knew their names to faces.
“You’re the only friend of Dani’s we hear about. You go to school here too right?” Josh asked. You nodded.
“Yes. It’s how Dani and I met.” Your eyes looked around the four of them and surveyed their expression. The man at the end, Pelle, had a very neutral and soft looking expression on his face. You admired him immediately.
But you ignored that so that you were able to assess Christian better.
“Now Christian, I think it’s about time I teach you how to treat your girlfriend,” you teased gently and the guys raised their eyebrows. Mark patted Christians back.
“She’s got her guns out. How are you going to respond?!” Mark asked loudly. Christian was laughing and so were you but you had been serious. He was a terrible boyfriend. If they had classes on how to be a decent boyfriend, you would force him to take them, for Dani’s sake.
“You’re Dani’s friend which means you are my friend,” he said finally. Your lips twitched and you nodded slowly. “Can I offer you anything to drink?”
“No, thank you though.” Dani sat down at the living room area and the boys quickly followed. Her and Christian were on the love seat, Mark in one of the chairs and you, Pelle and Josh on the couch. You were sitting beside Pelle on the left.
He smelled good.
“How is school treating you?” he asked. You turned to him, pleased to hear that his voice was as soothing as he looked. He had an accent you couldn’t place - you were hopeless with accents.
“Well! At this rate, I should get through finals with only a few scratches here and there,” you told him.
You could hear that Mark had asked Christian a question and they were having a conversation off to the side.
“How about you?” you asked.
“Good, just about as good as you. I wonder, maybe if we have any teachers in common,” he suggested. You nodded.
“It’s entirely possible. What are you studying?”
“I’m in the Anthropology department.”
“We may overlap. I’ll have to check your schedule.”
Dani gave you a look but your eyes were not on her. She couldn’t distinguish what you and Pelle were saying because your voices were so calm while the other boys were booming. She was only a few feet away and still...whatever you were laughing about was lost on her.
====
You didn’t stay long. Dani and you had to get back so that you were able to study for finals. And by that, it was usually you studying with her in the room so she had someone to keep her in check. You didn’t mind.
“You and Pelle seemed to get along well,” she noted.
“I was there to make sure Christian seemed like a decent human,” you told her.
“And?” You thought about it for a moment and she was right. You had talked to Pelle almost exclusively.
“Pelle was really nice,” you conceded. She laughed gently. At least you were able to be honest with her.
“I think he likes you. He’s a Swedish exchange student, if he didn’t tell you.”
“That’s where the accent is from! It was bugging me. I was about to start speaking to Google,” you said laughing. She rolled her eyes playfully.
“You could have just asked him.”
“I didn’t know if it was inappropriate!”
======
You ran your hand through your hair as you walked around your little apartment. It had about everything you could ever need and you loved it. Dani was sleeping on the couch you had managed to squeeze in.
There was a knock at your door.
You checked the clock on the wall and furrowed your brows in confusion. It was still pretty early in the day. You had to go to class soon.
You opened the door and Pelle stood in front of you, a kind smile on his face.
“Pelle! What a nice surprise,” you whispered. He looked confused as to your whisper and you opened the door enough to show Dani sound asleep. He nodded understandingly.
“I hope this isn’t inappropriate,” he said, in the same hushed tone.
“No, no. Although I do have to go to class soon. What is it?” You leaned against the doorframe.
“I thought our conversation the other day was really nice.” He paused for a minute, thinking over his words. You waited patiently. “I would like to take you out for coffee.”
You were a bit surprised that he had come all the way to your apartment to tell you that. You assumed that Christian had given him the address. He had it so he knew where Dani was, she had given it to him.
“I would like that very much. Although, you could have just called,” you said smiling.
“I prefer in person. I think it’s more personal.” You nodded but turned around, grabbing a pen off of your desk. You grabbed his hand and scribbled your number onto his palm.
“For when you want to tell me where to meet you.” He smiled and nodded once, pleasantly.
“Until then.”
“Until then.”
====
Pelle called you that night to tell you where to meet him for coffee. You were pleased and excited. Dani woke up the next morning when you were getting ready to leave. It was Saturday so you didn’t have any classes to attend and you figured you were due a break from studying.
“Where are you going?” she asked groggily. You cleaned up your bed and turned to her on the couch.
“I have a coffee date,” you said honestly.
She raised her head up off the pillow and rubbed her eyes.
“Oh?” You nodded, fixing your hair in the mirror. You looked yourself over and nodded nervously at yourself. You looked good. You hoped it wasn’t too much for just a coffee date. “Care to share who it’s with?”
You sheepishly looked at her through the mirror.
“Pelle,” you said quietly. She laughed heartily. It was the first time you had heard her actually laugh in weeks.
“Pelle?”
“Yes. Go back to bed. I’ll probably be back before you get up.” She laid her head back down.
“Have fun at your coffee date!” she called but her voice was muffled by the pillow.
====
“Yes! I told Dani that but she doesn’t believe me. I don’t know, I think maybe we’re all a little too hard on her.”
The coffee date was going swimmingly. Pelle was funny and he was also able to give you good advice. You were amazed at his kind heart.
As for his feelings for you, he loved you. Dani had spoken about you and your kind heart before but he never thought you would be like this. He never thought he would love you this much so instantly. You were charming and honest and there was some quip left in you. He admired your qualities and was pleased to find that you liked him as well.
He could never be sure but he thought you may like it back at his home.
“You’re being a very good friend. Better than most,” he said honestly. He reached a hand forward and laid it on your hands which were sitting on the table. Both of your cups were empty. You looked down at his hand on yours and attempted to suppress your emotions.
“Thank you Pelle.”
You moved your hands apart so they were holding his hand between them. He smiled a bit, sheepishly.
“I really enjoyed this.”
“I did as well.”
You were very pleased to hear it wasn’t one sided.
You both stood up and started for the door. His hand still held yours. It was within walking distance of both of your homes but in opposite directions. Before parting he turned to face you. You smiled up at him, trying your very hardest to not let him know how much you had enjoyed the date.
That was when your phone rang. Your smile fell and you had to know who it was calling.
Dani.
“I’m sorry-”
“Don’t worry. I will wait.”
You picked up the phone and put it to your ear.
“Yes?”
“I-I need you.” She was crying. She didn’t like to ask for help so this must have been serious. You nodded stiffly.
“I will be there in a couple minutes. Hold on,” you said kindly. You hung up the phone and turned to him. “Dani needs me, I’m sorry.” He shook his head and before you could say another word, he was hugging you.
You had thought he might kiss you but this was almost better. It was almost for sure better than a kiss. His arms engulfed your body and held you tightly. He was wearing a soft sweater and it felt so nice against your face. He smelled like herbs and trees. You hugged him back, tightly. He had his hand on the back of your head and he gently kissed your shoulder.
He pulled away ever so slightly and kissed you softly. You had to pull away to smile.
“I’ll see you soon Pelle.” He nodded and you were about to walk away when he strengthened his hold on you.
“Mark, Josh, Christian and I are going to take a trip back to my home in Sweden for the summer. Dani will likely be invited too. Would you like to come?”
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baby sister ~ mark;midsommar
word count: 1929
request?: yes!
“Mark from Midsommar imagine about Christan's sister crushing on Mark and when Mark finds out they start dating. And Christian finds them making out and gets all pissed and tries to fight Mark but reader yells at Christian to stop.”
description: in which he’s very protective over his baby sister, and now his best friend is dating her
pairing: mark x female!reader
warnings: swearing
masterlist
There were so many words that could describe my brother. Asshole was definitely the most accurate one. Protective was the second most accurate way to describe him.
I was the family baby, and when mine and Christian’s dad left, Christian took it upon himself to be the man of the house. This included being the one to try and scare away my boyfriends. Well...try and usually succeeded. It was becoming impossible to date unless I did it secretly.
Which was what I was doing with Christian’s best friend, Mark.
From the moment we met, I knew I was head over heels for Mark. Of course, trying to act on that under Christian’s watchful eye was basically impossible. Until Mark initiated a particularly steamy make out session while Christian wasn’t home.
“We can keep this a secret,” he assured me. “I don’t bring girls around anyways, and the guys don’t ask about that shit.”
“Secret romance is incredibly sexy,” I noted. Mark smiled and kissed me again.
Ever since then, we had secretly been in a relationship. No one knew, not even Dani who was my closest friend. I trusted her to keep the secret from anyone else, but Dani told Christian everything. She couldn’t lie to him, he knew her too well to fall for her lies. I knew giving her this secret would be a massive burden on her, and I couldn’t do that to her.
The secret rendezvous were hard sometimes, especially since Christian and Mark were living together. On the occasions where Christian would go over to Dani’s, and Josh would be out wherever for the night, I would go over with Mark for a few hours. But spending the night was a big risk. It was hard to know when Christian would come home, and the last thing either of us needed was for him to catch me in Mark’s bed.
I walked through the front door of the guy’s apartment and immediately called out, “Hey fuckers!”
“Hey baby sis,” came Christian’s voice in response. “You caught me at a sort of bad time, I’m about to go to Dani’s for a while.”
I gave him a worried look. “What? Why? Are you and the guys okay?”
“Oh yeah, nothing bad happened. She’s just having a rough time and I want to be there for her,” he responded. “You’re free to hang here if you want, but Mark will be the only one here. Josh is out of town with his parents for a while.”
I tried not to let the smirk I was feeling inside show. “Oh, well if it’s just Mark I’ll probably leave.”
“I don’t blame you. The guy is kind of boring.”
If I didn’t know that Christian’s way of showing affection was by insulting someone I probably would’ve been offended.
He brushed past me and said goodbye, promising to hang out with me again after he spent some time with Dani. I pretended to be following him out to my car and waited until he was far enough away that he wouldn’t see me turn around and run back into the house.
I knew Mark was home. His car was in the driveway and his bedroom door was closed, something he always did when he was home and wanted some privacy. I ran straight to his room and threw the door open. His eyes widened as I dove onto the bed and immediately cuddled into his side.
“Is Christian gone already?” he asked.
I popped my head up to look at him in shock. “You knew?! And you didn’t tell me?!”
“I didn’t get the chance! He literally just told me when he walked in like an hour ago. I didn’t think he was leaving so soon.”
I rolled my eyes and kissed his cheek before settling my head into his neck. “So, how long is he gone for?”
“All weekend,” he responded. “Won’t be back till after class on Monday he said, and even then he may be gone for a little bit with Dani.”
“So,” I said, “are we having our first sleepover or not?”
Mark chuckled and kissed my forehead. “I would love for you to stay over. But do you want to go home and get your clothes?”
“Why would I want to do that when I have your clothes here?”
Mark gave me an amused look before rolling us over to get on top of me and begin to tickle me.
The first night I got to spend with Mark was fantastic. We spent so many hours just cuddling and talking, and of course countless hours having sex without worrying about anyone catching us. The first morning together, I woke up to find myself alone in bed, but with the smell of breakfast drifting in from the kitchen.
I got up and pulled on one of Mark’s shirts and ventured out into the kitchen, not worried about anyone catching me for once. Mark was stood next to the stove in just a pair of sweatpants, his back turned to me. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his naked torso.
“Good morning,” I said, kissing his cheek. “What are you making?”
“Just some bacon and eggs,” he responded. “I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed.”
“You know I don’t sleep in enough for that to be possible, and I don’t like laying in bed for too long.”
Mark turned his head to meet my lips with his. “How did we end up together? We’re such different people.”
“Opposites attract baby.”
Mark smiled and turned to face me. In one quick motion, he lifted me onto the counter and stood between my legs. I giggled and kissed him deeply, holding his face in my hands as a way to keep him from pulling away.
We were so lost in one another that we didn’t notice the door opening, or the sound of a bag hitting the floor, until the voice that both of us dreaded to hear.
“What the fuck?!”
Mark jumped away from me in time to see Christian charging at him, murder present in his eyes. Mark quickly jumped out of the way and extended an arm to keep Christian at an arm’s length away.
“What the fuck were you doing to my sister?!” Christian snapped.
“Chill dude, we were just kissing!” Mark responded.
“Why was she kissing you?! Why is she here in just one of your shirts?!”
“Calm down, Christian,” I tried, pushing myself off of the counter to cover myself as much as I possibly could. “I stayed over the night.”
“But why?! And why with him?!”
He tried to lunge at Mark again, but this time I took hold of his arm and yanked him back. “Christian, fucking stop!”
“What has he said or done to make you want to kiss him and to stay the night with him?” Christian demanded. “What the fuck has he done to you?”
“Christian, shut the fuck up!” I felt myself shaking in rage and I just wanted to punch my older brother until he was unconscious. I guess we were more similar than I ever cared to admit.
My outburst surprised both my brother and my boyfriend. They both went silent, and for a moment Christian wasn’t even trying to kill Mark anymore.
“You’re so fucking controlling!” I said, airing out all the anger I had built up inside of me for so long. “I get that you want to be dad, I get that you’re trying to be ‘the man’, but holy fuck! I’m a fucking adult! I can date who I want, I can kiss who I want, I can fuck who I want! I don’t need you getting angry and intimidating every guy I date, Christian. I can’t be single forever you know.”
Christian glared at Mark once more before turning to face me. “I know that, (Y/N), but I don’t want anyone to hurt you.”
“Do you know how much more it hurts when guys either ghost me or straight up tell me to my face that they’re too scared of you to date me?” I questioned. “Do you know how many guys told me that I wasn’t worth the hassle you gave them? I was hurt more by your protectiveness than I ever was by any guy.”
I saw a look pass over Christian’s face. I couldn’t tell exactly what it meant, but I knew there was a lot of information running through his head at that moment, a lot of things he had to process.
“And I know you don’t want me dating your best friend,” I continued before he could say anything else. “I know it’s like a violation of friend code or whatever the fuck guys have going on, and it’s weird and awkward. But I really do love Mark, and I know he loves me, too. You know Mark better than any guy I’ve ever tried to date, can you seriously look me in the eyes and tell me he’s not a good fit for me?”
Christian looked over at Mark once more before turning back to me. “He is a fuckface.”
I giggled. “Yeah, I know that. But he’s a good fuckface.”
“One of the better ones,” Christian agreed. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I just...I thought that’s how I was supposed to act, you know?”
“I know, mom never told you any different. I think she just liked you trying to be the man of the house all the time because it meant she didn’t have to take up any extra responsibilities.”
Christian pulled me into a hug, something I don’t think he had ever done before. It was quite a shock to both me and to Mark.
“You can date whoever you want,” he said. “I promise I won’t kill...well I promise I won’t kill any other guy you may date. I have no promises about Mark.”
“I’ll take that,” I told him. “And I’m sorry you had to find out like...this.”
Christian looked between us, trying not to look at the parts that weren’t clothed I could tell. “Yeah...not the best way, but I’ll bleach my eyes when I get back to Dani’s.”
We all laughed as Christian went to get whatever he had come home for and left again, saying goodbye and apologizing once more before closing the door behind him.
“That went well,” I commented. I looked over to see Mark smiling at me. “What?”
“Did you mean what you said? That you love me?”
I felt my face heat up in embarrassment. In the heat of the moment, I let the big L word slip. Mark and I hadn’t said it to one another yet. We had only started dating mere months ago.
“I think so,” I admitted. “I feel things for you that I’ve never felt for anyone before. I...I think I do love you. Is that...is that weird to say?”
Mark wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. “Not at all. I think I love you, too.”
I smiled up at him and placed a gentle kiss against his lips.
“Don’t forget breakfast,” I whispered in his ear, nibbling on it gently before pulling away.
It took a moment for the lust to wash away after my small act for Mark to realize that breakfast was still on the pan cooking. I giggled as he quickly went to turn the stove off and check to make sure the food was still edible.
#mark#mark imagine#mark x reader#will poulter#will poulter imagine#will poulter x reader#midsommar#midsommar imagine#imagine#one shot#request#fanfiction#fandom#fanfic
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nct ideal types 2021 :: dream
127 version | this has been on my mind for a bit and I wanted to write it down- these will consist of confirmed facts and then my own thoughts. the latter part is, as it sounds, strictly from my opinion and observation and may well not be accurate. this is just for fun! proceed~
mark lee:
confirmed: likes someone with long black hair who is nice (on air nct show)
my thoughts:
he moved to korea to train when he was like 13 and has been busy as a bee ever since. I don’t know his life but I feel like he hasn’t really had the chance to date much if at all yet. this brings me to think he would prefer someone who can lead in the relationship
he grew up christian and seems to still hold those ideals. although if he really liked someone it wouldn’t be an issue, this makes me think he would be drawn to someone with similar ideals
he laughs a lot and gets along well with people who are funny (haechan, yuta, jungwoo). I think that he would like someone with a good sense of humor
he doesn’t spend money lavishly and prefers to use what he has (i.e. the jansport backpack, not having youtube premium, keeping all the gifts he receives in his bag). all of this points to him preferring someone modest and not wasteful
mark got jisung a bracelet that costs over $1000 for his birthday (what a good bro I’m cry). he likes songs like ‘I got you’ by Bazzi (mark superm quarantine playlist) which is about spoiling a girl. this all makes me think that although he is frugal for himself, he likes spoiling others and would like to spoil his significant other
From Japan official book vol 1, mark said he wasn’t sure what his ideal first date would be, but he answered that it would be to go to a restaurant and have a good meal because he likes eating. So someone who’s down for simple dates and perhaps also good at cooking (because our boy can’t even make an egg)
From the same magazine, he said he doesn’t care about fashion and would like his partner to “wear what she likes”. Doesn’t seem like he goes for style much!
huang renjun:
confirmed: n/a
my thoughts:
I strongly feel like he would want to feel like the ‘man in the relationship’. he would want to feel protective over his partner and that’s why I think he would adore someone smaller than him
he’s full of chaotic rage energy (in the cutest way that would never actually hurt anybody). to balance out these vibes, renjun would match well with someone calm and sweet
looks-wise besides being a petite person, I can envision someone very cute, probably with shorter, un-dyed hair
renjun is into sci-fi movies and shows and confirmed he believes in aliens (weekly idol). I think he’d be drawn to someone with a big imagination who likes sci-fi as well
lee jeno:
confirmed: n/a
my thoughts:
jeno is really really shy (when he met yeeun from clc to mc together, they said they couldn’t even talk at first because it was so awkward). I think jeno would like someone more outgoing but not overwhelming
I feel like his ideal type is literally like renjun- a little fiesty and literally, little. jeno has mentioned that he loves renjun’s voice too, so perhaps he would be interested in someone with a nice voice
he works out a lot and likes physical activities like biking and going to the gym. I think he’d like someone who values fitness and health too
he loves animals and has 3 cats of his own despite being allergic. because of this, I think he’d like a person who loves animals too
lee haechan:
confirmed: someone with a nice voice/ singing voice. someone with shorter hair
my thoughts:
he’s so extroverted and craves attention from whoever he’s around, and that wouldn’t be an exception for the person he likes. he’d want someone who looks up to him and gives him attention
he’s still really young and even enjoys movies like the kissing booth (I’m sorry I had to bring it up because I think it’s important). ignoring the actual bad parts of that movie, I think he’s interested in that young love, dancing together at the arcade, kissing in the rain, come over to his house in secret, type relationship
haechan seems to be especially close friends with foreign swaggers line (mark, johnny, jaehyun) so I’m thinking that perhaps he likes the western vibe
during oshiete Japan, he and Yuta were the only ones who chose to give three roses to a hypothetical ‘lover’ (they had to choose between 4 types of roses to give). the psychologist said that this means haechan is “flirty and attention-seeking” which makes a lot of sense. this adds to my point that he would like someone who gives him a lot of attention and good reactions
during a recent fansign (1/23?) OP asked “what are things girls do that makes you flattered?” to which he answered “when I did something wrong and get scolded, that scary look makes me flattered”. although it’s a bit awkwardly translated, this insinuates that he likes it when he gets scolded by a girl. *jaemin voice* sexayyy. thus, I’m adding that haechan likes a someone strong headed and not afraid to scold him
na jaemin:
confirmed: n/a
my thoughts:
he has a sort of 180 personality where he’s either really energetic or prefers to be in the background. jeno says that jaemin hardly talks at the dorms after schedules because his social battery is dead. this is classic introvert behavior so I think he would vibe well with someone patient and calm
he’s the sweetest boy and he volunteers often for unicef and was even cast to sm while he was volunteering. he’d appreciate someone who shares similar values and likes helping others
I think he often doesn’t think or worry about himself. he goes out of his way to please others and help others and often disregards what he actually wants because of it (i.e. taking his shirt off at the dream show even though he was uncomfortable I’m so sad poor baby). he needs someone who is thoughtful and who reminds him when it’s time to stop and think of himself
looks-wise, I’m gonna be completely honest when I say I think he doesn’t go for looks. personality and morals are key
his favorite member of snsd is tiffany. he never confirmed if she was his ideal type, but perhaps he’s attracted to her bubbly, girly personality
zhong chenle:
confirmed: he’s only into girls (vlive)
my thoughts:
this may be a stretch, but in a live he was doing, chenle was talking about which member of wayv princesses was the prettiest. he said something along the lines of ‘ew they all looked weird’ but later admitted that kun was probably the only one who ‘looked okay’. kun was snow white which brings me to my first prediction which is that lele likes the classic chinese beauty (black hair, pale skin, elegant, gentle)
chenle loves winning and he loves to be praised. although his mbti shows that he’s an introvert, he would crave the full attention of his s/o. someone who looks only at him
during the from home live, he was asked to act out a scenario where he accidentally ate his girlfriend’s food. haechan (who was acting as the girlfriend) went “buy me 10 more” and chenle just went “okay :)”. ngl, kinda fell in love with him then but this makes me think he’d want someone to spoil
park jisung:
confirmed: likes it when people call him 오빠 (oppa) - take this how you will
my thoughts:
debuting at 14, I’m quite sure he hasn’t had the opportunity to have a relationship yet. this being said, he also seems quite innocent and shy which is why I think he would prefer someone who knows what they’re doing and isn’t afraid to speak their opinion
just from vibes, I think he would wanna be with someone like a best friend to him. someone who’s down to just hang out and talk, play video games and watch movies etc.
he’s quite tall (the tallest in dream) so I think he’d actually be ok with a tall person maybe even around the same height as him
maybe not a definite need, but I feel like he’d be impressed by someone who can dance well since dancing is such a big part of his life
#cznnet#nct ideal type#nct dream ideal type#kpop ideal type#nct ideal types#nct dream#mark lee#lee haechan#haechan#jeno#lee jeno#nct jisung#chenle#park jisung#zhong chenle#jaemin#na jaemin#renjun#huang renjun#mark lee ideal type#haechan ideal type#jeno ideal type#jaemin ideal type#chenle ideal type#jisung ideal type#renjun ideal type#nct soft hours
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Cat and Mouse
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | more coming soon
Summary: You’re the daughter of an extremely well-known pastor. You’ve lived a quiet and sheltered life, that is until you meet and fall in lust with a gang leader they call the Grim Reaper.
Pairing: Gang Leader And Yandere!Taeyong X female reader (college student)
Genre: angst, SMUT, violence, if you squint there may be some fluff
Warnings: graphic and violent scenes described, murder, mentions of religious practices (this in no way is meant to offend followers of Christianity), blood and death mention, character death, gun and knife mention, profanity, toxic relationship, little alcohol use, drug addiction themes, stalking, manipulation, blackmail, waterboarding (torture), obsession, posessiveness, sexual assault is briefly mentioned. Breast fondling, thigh riding, corruption/innocence kink, pet names, recording of sexual acts, oral sex (male and female), car sex, unprotected sex, penetration, sir kink, breeding kink, bdsm themes (choking, restraints, knife play, intense gun play, blood play), orgasm denial, overstimulation, c*eampie. Ohmygodihopeilistedeverything
Word Count: 26.2K (I had to make up for not updating this for MONTHS)
Tag list: @teddybella @suhfluffy @adorejaehyn @jennieshairstrand @markyongcore @promisesandchances @yeetyeethoe @ericafujimura @5shotsamericano @jonginvlog @dudamoreira12 @saratyongf @ncteaxhoe @steamyjaehyun @neostains @stansuperm @alreadyblondenow @suhweo @daanniee @shiningstarsarah @kikomizukii @thepeachystars @ashleyyxoxo @katallest-katolis @onestop-shot @lollokilnala @jaehyunswifey @chlwpgk @theworld-accordingtocasey
DISCLAIMER AND A/N: where do I start? First of all, as mentioned in part 1, Taeyong is a manipulative and evil man in this, please remember this is fiction and definitely DOESNT represent the real Taeyong. The acts of violence are graphically described, I’m talking blood and gore, please do not read if you are sensitive to these things. Also, Taeyong is yandere in this, Hes not a true and honest lover and I hope that we all understand that what he does is sickening and wrong. This is also influenced by the manhwa, Killing Stalking. With that being said, I am so sorry for taking forever to update this, but I hope you all think it was worth the wait at the end❤️
[A Week After Thanksgiving]
“Mark...I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
You held Mark’s hand as you exited the elevator in the hospital and squeezed it lightly.
Mark turned and gave you a small smile. “It’s alright, thank you for being here with me now.” His eyes were wide and adorable as they always were. He had no idea that you were the cause for his pain, that you knew exactly who hurt him and could bring him to justice, but refused to.
Taeyong wore his skull mask when he attacked Mark and refused to mention you, so Mark thought he was just the victim of a random attack..he didn’t think it was—personal.
It had a been a few months since it all happened and you were slowly becoming more comfortable with keeping the truth to yourself. After all, you loved Taeyong, you were dating now and you couldn’t bear the thought of being without him. He made you feel wanted, desired, and loved. He showed you new things, he made your life so much more exciting that it was before.
Yes, he messed up by hurting Mark, but he told you he would never do it again..just as long as you did what he said.
And so you hoped that he’d never discover you here with Mark today at the hospital. Mark had to take a few X-rays to ensure that his ribs were healing correctly. You went with him because it’s the least you could do for being the cause of all this.
The two of you now waited for the doctor to come in with the X-ray prints in his assigned hospital room. You shimmy off your coat and hang it on a hook by the door while Mark lays in the hospital bed, still in his gown.
“These gowns are kinda awkward, like If I sit up right now, you’d get a clean look at my bum.” Mark laughed, his eyes shutting tightly.
You laughed out too. “Oh, then don’t sit up please, just imagining that makes my eyes water.”
“Y/n...there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you..” Mark cleared just throat as his tone grew more serious.
Oh no. Is he going to ask you about that night? Does he know that you know who his attacker is?
You nod slowly and bite your lips.
“I feel like..we’ve known each other for a while now..and with finals coming up and everything..I know we’ll be away from each other for a while..but when all this is over..would you like to go..ice skating with me..just me?”
Your mouth falls open and your eyes widen. Was he really asking you out?
“You know..there’s that new park with the Christmas lights and cool decorations..we can grab something to eat before..or-or after, whichever works for you..” Mark swallows hard as he waits for your answer.
“Mark...that’s really..this is really sudden..I’m not sure..”
“It’s okay! Don’t worry about it.” Mark gives an awkward laugh.
“I-I appreciate it, Mark. But I’m kinda seeing someone right now.” You pout and look away from his round eyes.
Had you not known Taeyong, you probably would’ve gone with Mark. It was an adorable idea, you loved spending time with him. And while you couldn’t see him as a romantic interest for all these years, maybe a date would’ve changed your mind. But it was too late, you loved Taeyong.
“Oh? Who is it? How have I never met him?” Mark’s mouth fell, but he didn’t look upset, he looked happy for you rather.
You nodded quickly and opened your mouth to speak, but the grumbling of your stomach interrupted you. You laughed in an effort to cover up the sound, but Mark’s eyes floated down from your face and to your stomach while you clutched it.
He smiled slowly.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t eat anything before we came here.” You looked away, feeling your face become hot.
Mark chuckled. “It’s okay! I’m hungry too, there’s a Starbucks downstairs, wanna grab something for yourself and for me too?”
“Sure!” You jumped up from your chair, thankful for an excuse to leave this somewhat awkward conversation.
“I’ll be right back!”
You headed downstairs and ordered a protein pack and coffee for Mark and a muffin for yourself. You thanked the cashier and hurried back to the elevator.
It was crowded with people at first, but as you approached your floor on one of the higher levels, more and more visitors, nurses and doctors started to exit.
All except for one.
The man dressed in scrubs kept his head down, his hair tucked into a blue surgical cap and his face covered with a face mask. You stood in the corner of the elevator and watched him closely. Something about him seemed off. Why was he holding his head down? Why did he stand in the middle of the elevator with his arms crossed?
But then again, maybe he was worried about something, maybe you were over thinking.
You sighed and leaned your head onto the wall. It felt like the longest ride ever to your floor. You looked at the numbers on the elevator light up as you passed each floor.
But then, you heard the man chuckle lowly. It was a haunting sound, a familiar sound.
His crackling voice echoed in the now empty elevator. Your brows furrowed and you stood up straight.
“Oh little mouse, what am I going to do with you?”
That voice..
Taeyong turns and walks towards you and before you can even comprehend what’s happening, he presses your body into the corner of the elevator.
You fall back, your grip on your bag with food and coffee tightening as you swallow hard.
Taeyong’s eyes are dark, filled with fire and disappointment as he stares into your eyes.
You barely recognize him in the doctor’s uniform, but you finally notice the neck tattoo he had.
How did he know you were here?
Your mouth falls open, you can’t even form coherent sentences as he towers over you and gives you an evil look like he’s ready to kill you slowly..and painfully.
“You love him, don’t you?” Taeyong spits out angrily.
“Wait..wait Tae, I can explain.” You shake your head.
“He doesn’t have anyone to go with him to his doctors appointment, it’s the least I could do.”
“I don’t give a shit if that loser doesn’t have anyone to be with, you aren’t supposed to be here! You were supposed to listen to me! How many times do I have to tell you you’re mine?” Taeyong’s voice grows louder, he slams his hand onto the wall beside your head.
“You’re the one that put him here! How can you be so..so selfish? He doesn’t deserve any of this?!”
“And I do? I deserve to be hurt by you going behind my back to be with him? You aren’t loyal to me and that hurts, y/n.” Taeyong’s face softened a bit as he searched your eyes.
“Behind your back? You’re not my father! I don’t have to answer to you, you won’t even claim me to your friends and you expect me to be loyal to you?”
“Oh and loyalty? Taeyong, I could easily tell everyone all that you’ve done. I could tell the police, news stations, EVERYONE..”
Taeyong suddenly grips your throat, stopping you mid rant, and leans in closer. “But you won’t..will you?”
You grit your teeth, breathing heavily as he tightens his hold.
“Everything I did, I did for you..you ungrateful brat.” He releases you, but quickly takes you by the wrist and leads you out of the elevator. He hurriedly brushes past all of the nurses in the hallway, no one suspecting him even as he drags you behind him.
He finally finds an empty room. He tosses you inside and locks the door behind him.
He takes your bag and coffee from you and places it onto a table by the window, leaving you standing there in the middle of the room with your mouth agape.
He stares out the window and begins to talk to himself.
“I let you out of my sight for one moment and you do this to me? I thought I was clear the first time. But it seems I wasn’t. Oh little mouse, don’t you know I don’t like repeating myself?”
He turns back to you slowly. His low eyes stare into yours as he takes his mask off, and you finally see the handsome face of your lover.
His lips are pursed and he steps closer to you.
“Taeyong..” you swallow hard, nervous by his calm demeanor. He watches you like a predator watching his prey, he’s unpredictable and like a stranded gazelle, you’re not sure what to do, where to run to.
Do you run out the door and make him even more upset? Do you press the buzzer and call for help?
You could do anything to get away from him right now, but you don’t. Why? Because you want him.
“Get on the bed..” once in front of you he pushes your chest lightly, making you stumble on the hospital bed behind you. You push yourself up on both elbows while breathing heavily, watching as he crawls over you slowly and carefully.
His breath now on your lips as you tremble under him. “How will you make this up to me, little mouse?” He tilts his head and stares at your lips, the gazes down your neck.
“I-“
“Put your hands above your head..”
On impulse, you do as he says.
He still stares at you while grazing your neck lightly with his soft lips. He dips his hand into his pocket and pulls something out, but you can’t figure out what it is.
His eyes break away fro your neck and go to your hands where he tightens one zip tie around each wrist and the metal bar of the bed.
He tightens them tightly, watching as you squeal and fidget under him.
“Taeyong..I want to touch you..please.”
Your high pitched begging and innocent expression almost gets to Taeyong, but he shakes off the feeling and stares at your chest sticking up in the air.
He pushes himself up away from you, forcing your legs further apart as he takes a kneeling position between them.
Your button down dress rides up your thighs and to your hips as a result, just barely exposing your panties to him.
Taeyong bites his lips and runs his hands up your thighs slowly while groaning. His thumbs press into the soft skin as they work their way up to the apex of your legs.
Your breath hitches and you lick your lips.
“Taeyong..touch me.”
“You’re always begging, little mouse.” Taeyong chuckles, his hands now running up your sides and squeezing your breasts through the fabric gently.
A shakey breath leaves your lips as you wriggle under him, anxious to feel more as your panties become increasingly wet just from his touch.
He takes your lips on his into an angry kiss, biting the bottom and licking over it.
He slowly pumps your breast through the fabric, adoring your mewls and the way your head falls back as you ache for more.
“Wearing black I see? You’re dressed appropriately for a funeral.” He chuckles through his lips now covered with your red lipstick then takes his own time unbuttoning the buttons one by one to reveal more and more of your beautiful skin.
Once all of the buttons have been undone, he separates the limp fabric covering your chest and stomach.
You hiss with the sudden exposure to the frigid air.
“Oh? And no bra? Is this how Mark likes it? Oh, what has he done to my innocent girl?”
Taeyong’s look of danger makes you move under him again. His dark eyes are so tempting, but mysterious. You just wish he’d touch you again.
“We..we never did anything, Taeyong. I promise.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” Taeyong runs his cold hands up your abdomen again, this time, letting them rest around your neck, as if to choke you once more.
You fidget under him while you try to think of what to say.
“You’re squirming like there’s something inside you already maybe we should get it out.” Taeyong lets your breasts go and reaches over for something on the small table beside the bed.
He raises the shiny object to his face and smiles widely. “Let’s play doctor.”
His husky voice lets out.
He brings a scalpel to your chest with the sharp blade just barely pressing into it.
You take in a sharp breath, your chest collapsing at the feeling of the cold metal on you.
“Taeyong..”
“Taeyong? It’s doctor to you.”
“Doctor..what are you doing?” You gulp.
Taeyong’s mouth tilts upward into a smirk as he watches the scalpel dance on your skin, threatening to break into it if he just applies a bit more pressure.
“How does this feel, little mouse?” He draws the scalpel along your thigh now, stopping just before your folds.
“Is it cold? Does it hurt?” Taeyong pauses before continuing, looking into your large eyes and glancing down at your swollen, parted red lips.
He then looks down to your beautiful skin and hums lowly. “Mmmmm I like the way your skin is reacting.”
Your arms and neck are littered with goose pimples, every slight tough from the knife makes you shiver, but you’re even more turned on for some reason.
“Can you feel the edge when I press it into you?”
Taeyong looks into your eyes as he presses the scalpel a little harder onto your belly.
“Y-yes, I can feel it, Doctor. Please, don’t hurt me.” You bite your lips.
Taeyong chuckles. “I’m not going to hurt you, I’m in control, just relax. I haven’t actually cut you..yet.”
He bites his lips then looks down at your hard nipples. He feels his member poke through the thin fabric of his scrubs, he knows he can’t hold back, but he’d love to have you like this for a longer time. You’re tied up and on full display just for him. Your eyes still hold that innocent look that he adored. That unknowing look that makes him so weak as he ruins you time and time again.
He circles the scalpel around your nipple. The delicate feeling makes your head spin. You can’t think of anything but him. You moan and bring your body up towards him more.
“Please.”
He looks down at your soaking panties and smirks. “You seem to be liking this a lot.”
He uses a finger to bring down the thin fabric covering your aching opening. You jump in response to his finger just barely grazing against it.
He then takes the scalpel and slowly cuts the fabric, your pussy now exposed to him. He licks his lips and leans down to lick your nipples.
“Yes...that feels good.”
You swear you could cum just from the feeling of his wet tongue circling around your nipple.
He sucks on it fervently as you struggle against your restraints. You can feel his hard member brush against your folds and you just want to stroke it before greeting it with your needy flower.
Taeyong then kisses your neck, his hands still pumping your breasts as he grinds down into you.
“Tell me..where it hurts..” he says in between kisses.
“Tell the doctor what you need, little mouse.”
He licks a long stripe up your neck then bites into it as you yelp.
“Please..Doctor. I need relief down there. I need you to fuck me.” You whine and struggle again.
Taeyong groans and lowers the waistband of his scrubs. He pushes two fingers deep into your opening without warning. Your legs shift on the bed as you throw your head back and moan loudly.
“How about this?” Taeyong teases you as he slowly moves his fingers in and out, curving the top of them so they hit your sweet spot.
And while it does feel good to have something inside you, you know you need more.
“No..no doctor, I need you.”
Taeyong chuckles as he takes his fingers out and replaces it with his dick, pushing into you so hard, the bed creaks as it moves and hits the wall.
“Yes! Yes, that’s it.” You cry out.
He sucks your nipple again, but your silk walls closing around his aching member makes him dizzy. He anchors himself with his hands on your thighs and focuses on pushing in harder, deeper than ever before.
Your mouth falls open as he ruins you, driving you crazy with each thrust. The sounds of his low groans and his hips snapping into yours fill your ears.
Your mind goes empty, you can only think of one word.
Taeyong.
He’s all you can think of as you begin to unravel. He soothes your nerves and needs with his cock stretching you out and you couldn’t be more relieved.
He takes your ankles into his hands and places both legs on his shoulders, burying into you at a different angle.
Your head falls back as you moan loudly, not caring about who could possibly hear you in the hallway or next room over.
He smirks as he looks down at you going insane from his movements. He then places two fingers onto your neglected clit, massaging it as he slides in and out of your quivering pussy faster.
“Oh, I’m going to..I’m going to cum.” Tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You’re so overwhelmed with pleasure.
“That’s it, little mouse, the doctor is making you feel so good.”
He sticks his tongue out and licks your breast again, covering it in spit as you begin to leak onto the sheets below you.
Your eyes shut tightly and begin to roll in the back of your head as you cum.
Taeyong continues to fuck you hard, the metal bar hitting the wall at a steady pace now as he approaches his own high. He watches your quivering pussy swallow his dick and coat it in your cum.
Your body falls weak while you come down. You can only feel over sensitivity as Taeyong continues to use your body. He watches your breasts jump with each thrust and groans, your eyes wet with tears and your wrists becoming irritated from struggling against the zip ties. Everything about you is so perfect to him.
He slides out of you quickly before stroking his member and releasing onto your belly.
He breathes heavily, locking eyes with yours while every drop escapes onto your perfect skin.
He collects the cum with the scalpel he placed to the side. You tremble and watch.
“Open your mouth.” He demands.
You open your mouth and stick your tongue out.
“Lick it, carefully, we wouldn’t want that wonderful tongue of yours getting cut, would we?” He places the scalpel with his cum onto your tongue. You lick it off slowly, praying that you don’t cut your tongue in the process.
While you do that, he traces his fingertips around and in between your folds to collect your juices, then sticks his fingers into his mouth and licks the essence off.
He leans down and kisses you, his tongue circling around yours to combine your seed with his.
You moan into his mouth as you kiss and taste each other.
When he pulls away, he looks onto you lowly and licks his lips.
He tucks his member back into his pants and gets off of the bed while wiping his mouth.
He watches you on the bed with your arms tied to it still, you look up at him questioningly. Why was he taking so long to let you loose?
He fixes his mask over his face. “You’re too good to let go..I’ll have to kill Mark for good.”
Your eyes widen and you tug harshly against the ties. “No! No, no you can’t!”
“Why not? Do you love him?”
“Taeyong! It’s not like that at all! Please trust me, he’s just my friend.” You start to cry, there’s nothing you can do, you’re tied to the bed.
“I'm doing this for us.” Taeyong takes the scalpel and puts it into his shirt pocket before heading to the door.
“No! No you can’t! There’s cameras! You won’t get away with this, Taeyong! I swear I will tell everyone the truth this time!” You tell in a last minute attempt to stop this crazy man from hurting Mark.
Taeyong chuckles. “That almost sounded like a threat..” he turns back to you and gives you a dark expression, you tremble and cower down.
“but I’ll forget about it because I love you..also, my guys will take care of everything, even getting you out of here.Just sit tight while I take care of this.”
Taeyong ignores your cries, shuts the door, and hurries to the elevator. He heads up to Mark’s floor.
Once on the floor, he walks over to the nurse at the main desk on the floor and asks for his room.
“I’m Doctor Lee, I need to follow up with a patient named Mark. Which room is he in?”
Meanwhile, you yell loudly, trying to get anyone’s attention while also trying to slither out of the ties. But unfortunately they’re too tight. The floor also appears to be relatively empty as no one seems to hear you.
After several minutes, a nurse finally runs into the room and is startled to find you naked and tied to the bed.
“Please! Please stop him! He’s gonna kill Mark!”
The nurse runs over to the bed and quickly looks for scissors to cut you loose. “What happened? Who did this to you? Are you okay?”
You’re hysterical as she cuts you loose. She can barely figure out what you’re saying. “No, please don’t worry about me! We have to find him before-“
“Shhh..ma’am you have to breathe, you have to slow down, I am going to help-“
She’s interrupted by the sound of a loud alarm blaring through the hospital.
“Code Red! Code Red! Everyone please find an escape route or escape room immediately.” The automated message echoes through the halls then repeats again.
The nurse’s eyes widen while she helps you button your dress up.
“Code red? Shit.”
“Miss, what does that mean?!” You jump off the bed and rub your wrists.
“That means there’s someone yielding a weapon in the hospital, they may or may not have already hurt people. Come with me! We have to go to the escape room!” She takes your hand as she opens the door, but you pull it away and run off towards the stairwell.
“Ma’am!!” She yells after you but you don’t stop, you run up the stairs to Mark’s floor.
Tears continue to fall as you sniffle and run.
You can’t believe you were so stupid to let Taeyong do this..again.
You could only pray that you would reach Mark in time.
You push the door open and are finally on Mark’s floor. As you run towards it, you notice there’s a loud ruckus by his room.
“No..”
You run even faster, pushing past the nurses as you get closer. But what you see stops you in your tracks.
Mark is on the hospital bed being pushed by several nurses and a doctor. They hurry to an operating room, but it seems like you were too late.
Your hand flies over your mouth at the sight.
The same scalpel that Taeyong used on you sticks out of the brown haired boys neck. Blood gushes out and splatters the nurses uniforms. His eyes are closed and he seems to be choking, begging for air.
“I’m not getting a pulse! Move faster, we’re running out of time!!” A nurse yells as they rush past you.
Time seems to move in slow motion. You can’t think clearly, you can only feel pain. Your head spins. You hold onto the wall for support. How could he do this? How could he kill someone innocent? This was all your fault.
You held your head in your hands and screamed loudly as you banged it onto the wall behind you.
“This is all my fault!! Oh, God! Why?!” You cry uncontrollably.
All the memories of Taeyong flooded your brain. It’s because of him. Your life turned upside down because of the devil with a sly smile and tempting touch. And you fell for it every time, like a fool, you fell into his trap.
You had to get away from him, he wasn’t going to let you go easy, you had to run.
So you bolted out of the hospital and into the snow without your coat or cell phone so he wouldn’t be able to track you.
You ran fast, the cold, harsh air stabbing your throat. Everything became a blur, you couldn’t see where you were going, but you knew that you just had to keep running.
You finally found a bus that had just approached its stop. You jumped onto it and headed to the back immediately. You sat down and held your face in your hands as you sobbed quietly, eventually drifting to sleep.
————
You’re woken up by a quick tap on the shoulder.
Your eyes open slowly to see the bus driver smiling at you fondly.
“Ma’am, this is the last stop.”
You sit up straight and rub your eyes. “Wh-what time is it? Where am I?”
“It’s 10 p.m, you’re at the last stop on the east side of town. Are you..alright? Shall I call for someone to help you home?”
You shake your head and look outside to see darkness. “No..no I’m fine, I’ll just go, thank you.”
You grab your bag and step off of the bus, walking quickly to the brightly lit downtown area. There had to be somewhere that had an available phone to call your parents from.
But then again, should you call them? What if Taeyong tapped their phones too? What if he was after them now that you were missing? He wouldn’t hurt them if they truly didn’t know where you are, right?
You hold yourself tightly and continue to walk briskly through the freezing streets.
“Miss? Do you need a coat?” A man calls out to you, but you shake your head and walk faster. The last thing you wanted was for some random man to try to “help” you.
Additionally, you didn’t know how many men worked for Taeyong. Once he told them to look for you, they could be anywhere, just waiting in the shadows to grab you up.
You found a table outside of a restaurant and sat down to take a break once you were far away from the man.
You held your head down and rubbed your eyes.
What could you do now? You’re alone in a new town with no cellphone and you can’t just call your parents or friends.
You were too busy in thought to notice that the lights in the restaurant had been shut off now.
“Ma’am, excuse me, but we’re closed now and I have to put the chairs away- wait, don’t I know you?” The man’s voice interrupted you.
You looked up slowly and sat back in your chair. “Ah yes, I’m sorry, I was just resting..”
You wipe your eyes then rub your hands together to warm yourself, but when you look up at the man speaking to you, you instantly recognize him.
“J-Jaehyun from History 201?”
Jaehyun smiles and drops the garbage bag he’s holding.
“Y/n? How are you? It’s nice to see you.”
You nod and smile. You hoped you didn’t look at terrible as you felt. You had been crying all day, your eyes must’ve looked ridiculously swollen.
“I’m-I’m sorry, for uhhh, coming here like this.”
You looked down at the floor, and away from his handsome face.
You always had a weakness for Jaehyun. He was your partner in class last year and helped you with your final project the most. He was kind, always sparing time to help you with flashcards and study for hours into the late night at the library.
“Oh, no worries! I haven’t seen you around campus a lot this year, it’s nice to see you now! Wait, where’s your jacket? It’s freezing out here.”
“Oh..I don’t have one, I sorta ran here..actually, it’s a long story.”
“I’ll be right back, I’m gonna close up and grab you a coat, okay?” Jaehyun smiled widely then grabbed the garbage bag and turned the corner to go to the dumpster.
You immediately jumped up and started walking.
Not again, not again.
You couldn’t get another innocent and kind person involved with Taeyong. If he or any of his men even glimpsed Jaehyun with you, they’d beat him to a pulp.
You paced through the streets, and looked around for any restaurant that would be open late.
You felt terrible for running away from him when he was only filled with good intentions, but you had to to protect him.
About fifteen minutes into walking down a new street, you hear the honking of a car horn.
You step to the right and further away from them, but the person slows down and matches your pace. You don’t dare to look over, you only walk faster and look for possible routes to run through to get away from them.
“Hey! I told you to wait! What are you doing?”
Jaehyun yells out through the passenger window.
“Please, Jaehyun, I just can’t..I can’t be seen with you right now. It’s difficult to explain.” You held yourself and marched forward.
“Whatever is going on with you can wait! Right now, you’re about to catch pneumonia if you don’t get out of the freezing cold. Hop in! And I’m not asking this time.”
Jaehyun turns his car in front you swiftly once at a pedestrian walk way, you’re forced to stop walking. You look up at him with red, watery eyes.
“Please, y/n..I want to help you.”
You take one final glance at the area around you and see no one in sight, so you jump into the car and take off.
——————
Jaehyun takes you to his small apartment.
You step into the living room as he locks the door behind him.
“Do you live here..by yourself?”
Jaehyun chuckles as he takes his coat off and throws it into the coat closet.
His muscles now showing clearly in his tight white shirt.
You gulp and look away quickly.
“Yes, I live here by myself, over 15 miles away from campus..why? Well, for starters, that restaurant we were at is my family’s restaurant. It’s left in my care, so I have to be closer to it than I am to school.” Jaehyun shrugs before continuing. “And no roommates because who wants to be so far away?”
You give a small smile and look at the tiny but cozy apartment. It was much different from your house where you had floors and rooms that were endless.
No wonder why Jaehyun is so humble and giving.
“Yeah, it’s not much, but it’s enough.”
He trots past you and to the kitchen. “Take a seat, I’ll get you a glass of water.”
Jaehyun washes his hands while you sit down onto the couch in his living room. He then sits down beside you and hands you a glass.
“Do you need anything? A jacket, a blanket, change of clothes?” Jaehyun stares at you through wide eyes.
You laugh and smile widely again. “You’re too kind, Jaehyun..but some sweats and a T would be amazing right now.”
Jaehyun immediately jumps up and heads to his room. A few minutes later he hands you Nike sweatpants and a plain white T.
“The bathroom is on the right, feel free to change in there.”
You thank him profusely before heading to the bathroom.
You cringe when you see yourself. Your hair is messy, unkempt, your eyes are swollen like they were stung by bees, and your neck donned a love bite courtesy of Taeyong.
You washed your face and did your best to fix your hair before heading out.
Once beside Jaehyun, you take a deep breath and explain everything to him.
“Jaehyun...I don’t know what to do..I hope that you will not judge me.”
Jaehyun shakes his head. “It is not my job to judge, y/n, go on.”
“There’s a man..I love him..well, I think I love him. He makes me feel...new, unexplainable things. He makes my heart weak… but Jaehyun, he is a bad man. He’s hurt my friend, and I-I dont think I can be with him anymore..” you start to cry again. “So I ran away.”
“Shhh..shhh don’t cry, you did the right thing. It hurts now, but I believe you will be happier now that you are away from him.” Jaehyun holds you close, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and looking into your eyes deeply.
Jaehyun was right, you were away from him and running was the right thing to do. But why did it feel wrong? Why do you feel guilty? Why did you feel like the one that betrayed him?
“Would you like to tell the cops about him?” Jaehyun rubs his hand along your arm. His touch is soothing, his broad chest makes him feel at home. You slowly start to lean into him more.
“No..no, I still love him. I can’t..plus he’s smart, he’ll get away with it, and take me again.”
But you want to be taken, don't you, little mouse?
You close your eyes tightly in an attempt to drown out his voice.
“That’s alright then, y/n. We don’t have to tell anyone.”
Jaehyun whispers.
Tell him what I did, tell him how good I made you feel just today. Your legs around me as I fucked you hard into that flimsy hospital mattress. Your essence dripping down your shaking thighs, the way you called my name...
You breathed slowly. Don’t think of him, don’t think of him.
“I’m so scared, Jaehyun, I don’t know what to do. What if he hurts someone else that I love?” You sob into his chest.
“Don’t be scared, y/n. I’m here now, he won’t find you in this little, dingy apartment, okay? And you can stay here as long as you’d like, don’t worry.”
You nod. “I-I don’t have my phone because that’s what he uses to track me. Jaehyun, he’s a dangerous man, you must not tell ANYONE that I am here.”
Jaehyun’s brows furrowed. What kind of man would track his lover? He didn’t like the sound of him, but he was happy to know that you were out of that crazy man’s grasp and with him now where you’d be safe.
“I understand, y/n. I won’t tell anyone, not even your parents.”
You smile and thank him once more.
“You can sleep on the bed, I’ll take the couch.” He says before standing up from beside you.
—————
[One Week Later]
It’s been a few days since you ran away. You stayed inside Jaehyun’s apartment quietly, not even opening the window to look out at the sunshine and snow.
Jaehyun would visit you during the day whenever he had time. He just wanted to make sure you were safe.
But then he’d leave and head to work or school to prepare for exams.
You prepared for exams on an old laptop that he found at a thrift store for you. You would draft up emails to all of your professors, letting them know that you wouldn’t be able to attend class because you were mourning the death of your close friend, Mark.
Jaehyun would then send the emails once he was on campus so that if Taeyong and his men decided to hack into your account and search for you IP address, they would be met with the college IP address and not Jaehyun’s.
It was an elaborate, but tiring plan, but so far it seemed to work.
Jaehyun also visited the post office to drop off a letter for your parents. You hoped it would get to them for it explained that you were alright and safe far away from the college. You stated that you needed to take some time away to grieve your loss and you hoped that they would try to be okay with that.
Knowing your parents, you knew they would have a fit at you running away and leaving your cell phone behind. But they had no choice but to accept it, for your safety and for theirs.
The news of Mark’s death hit everyone hard. You saw your college mates mourn and host a vigil on the news and cried once again. They said that the murderer snuck into the hospital in scrubs and a face mask, but all security footage for that day had mysteriously been “lost.” They had no face on camera, and no one to give a description of who the assailant might be...other than you, of course.
You could never forgive yourself for what you did to him. How could you have been so naive?
Now, Mark was dead and his family and friends were experiencing immense pain.
You silently cried yourself to sleep that day, praying to God for forgiveness.
Taeyong, on the other hand, wasn’t begging for forgiveness. No, Mark’s murder was nothing to him. He was going to take you away from him, and that couldn’t happen, so he got rid of him just like any other enemy that threatened his peace and tranquillity. Instead, Taeyong went about threatening anyone and everyone in an effort to find you.
Taeyong was furious when Taeil tracked your phone only to find it still at the hospital. You had vanished out of his sight for the first time since he met you, and that was unacceptable.
He slowly started to feel himself go psychotic. He couldn’t focus on other tasks, jobs were incomplete as everything came to a standstill because of his preoccupation with finding you.
“She’ll be back, she has to come back.” Taeyong paces about his office.
“Don’t you think you’ve taken this a little too far?” Johnny sits in the leather chair across from Taeyong’s desk and purses his lips.
“No..no I don’t think I’ve taken it too far, Johnny, but you know what I do think? I think you and the rest of these guys are fucking lazy! You’re supposed to be the best of the best and you can’t find a fucking college girl? How far could she have gotten, she doesn’t even have a car!”
Taeyong slams his hand onto the desk.
Johnny sighs. “We’re doing the best we can, we’re looking for the spoiled brat 24/7. There’s only so many places we can check, wherever she is, whatever hole she’s in..we’ll find it. But I must ask, what if she doesn’t want to be found, Taeyong? If she’s gone through this much trouble, are you sure she loves you?”
“Shut up!” Taeyong throws his sands of time stature to the ground, leaving sand and broken glass everywhere.
Johnny remains unfazed in his seat, for Taeyong did have these tantrums every now and then.
Taeyong walks over and stares at the broken pieces before bending down to pick one up.
“What about her piece of shit father?” He asks, still staring at the three-edged glass in his hand.
“He knows nothing… we traced all his emails and text messages, but nothing. It seems she’s run away from her parents too. Maybe she’s just tired of this privileged life.” Johnny shrugs.
“I don’t believe his lying ass, and you shouldn’t either. Has he agreed to meet with me yet?”
“He won’t meet with you, Taeyong, he's pissed enough to know that you’ve gotten to his daughter. He doesn’t even care that we’ve slowed down our deliveries.”
“Hmmm I guess I’ll have to get nasty with him..” Taeyong’s dark eyes widen as he smirks.
Johnny raises his arms. “Taeyong, when’s the last time you slept? You look like a raccoon. I’ll call over our favorite girl, you know the flexible one. God, I love when she takes us both, that college girl of yours could never do the things she does.”
Taeyong steps towards Johnny, still gazing at the glass with a wild expression.
“Get a good fuck and sleep well after, what do you say?” Johnny lifts the corner of his mouth into a smile.
Taeyong leans down and into Johnny’s face. Johnny's brows furrowed as he leans backward and away from him.
But Taeyong holds the back of his head with one hand and presses the edge of the glass into his neck with the other.
Johnny groans as it just barely pierced his skin. “Taeyong, what the f-?”
“I don’t want anyone but that “spoiled brat,” and if I don’t get her, I’ll kill all of you myself. I’ll start with you first..so the next time you get a coffee or bagel from Gordo’s, let someone else taste it first..it’d be a shame for it to have just one extra...and deadly ingredient.” Taeyong presses the glass in harder as Johnny hisses.
His eyes widen, Taeyongs grip on the back of his head tightening, his nails digging into his scalp.
“I love her and she loves me..but you wouldn’t know anything about love, would you, Johnny? If you did, you’d know that lovers have to fight sometimes. Not everything is all roses and fucking flowers. She wants me to fight for her, and that’s what I intend on doing. So stop opening your mouth and get moving, I don’t want my dick sucked tonight.”
“You’ve lost your mind.” Johnny lets out once Taeyong releases him.
“And that’s the bad part, Johnny, I haven’t lost it yet. I’m just getting started.”
Johnny huffs and heads for the door.
“Oh, and Johnny boy, send Taeil in.”
—————
[One Day Later]
Your parents eat their dinner after a long day of work combined with worry for your safety. Your dad tried to keep your mother calm and collected, but she struggled to swallow each bite.
“I-I just don’t understand..” she puts her fork down and holds her head in her hands.
“She’s fine, honey. We should just trust her and continue the search. The church has done a wonderful job with helping us look for her. But thank God we received a letter.” Your father continues to chew.
“It’s not enough, how do we even know she wrote that? And that Taeyong guy, why does he keep asking to speak with you about her? What does he know?”
Your father slams his fork down and looks at your mother. He takes her hand and places it onto the table while looking sternly into her eyes.
“Don’t..you ever call that name in this house. He’s a fool and he will never get close to our family.”
“He already has! Him and his men have stalked me for days! I don’t know what they plan to do to us, I’m scared.”
“Don’t worry about them, they’d be foolish to lay a hand on you.” Your father looks into your mother's eyes deeply.
“What have you done? Why are they after us?”
“I haven’t done anything except serve the good Lord.”
He looks onto the table.
She pulls her hand away. “Do you think I was born yesterday? I know all about your dealings with him..” she looks up at the gold walls and fancy paintings around the dining area.
“Do you think I believe all this came from the church? You must think I’m those idiots that you preach to, believing nonsense.” She scoffs.
Your father gasps. “How could you say that? The church..our religion, it isn’t nonsense! I thought you changed from that sinful girl I met so long ago, I thought you were better than this..”
“And I thought you were better than to get involved with a gang leader! But look at you! Desperate for more than we NEED! How is this a Christian life? Look at the example we set for our child, we’ve taught her this lavish lifestyle that we can’t even say we’ve earned honestly like good people, where is our humility?!”
“We’ve set an amazing example! Do you remember where you were before you met me, on the streets scouring for your next fix! Imagine raising your child while in that state, without me!”
She sits and gives him a harsh look before opening her mouth to respond. “You’re full of sh-“
But a loud, compilation of multiple sounds fills the house. Your parents cover their ears.
“What the hell is that?!” Your mom jumps up and looks around. It seems all of the televisions in the mansion have turned themselves on.
“What in God’s name?” As your father listens closely, he recognizes something from audio of whatever is being played on one of the televisions.
I want us to cum..together. I want you to get so full of my cum..Do you want me to fill you up?
He hears the man say.. then a high pitched moan follows.
Yes..sir.
No. This can’t be happening. It couldn’t be your sweet voice.
Your father jumps up and runs to the closest television screen, the one in the living room.
Your mother follows behind. “What is going on? Was there a power surge or something? Why are they all-“
She stops talking as she is stunned by what is being played on the screen at full volume. The noise is almost unbearable.
The video of you being taken from the back by Taeyong plays on the large screen. Your hair messy, mouth open as mewls and moans spew out, your naked body being pummeled into by the demon as he grips your waist and pulls you onto him. You look into the camera and at yourself before letting out a loud whimper.
Yes...sir, oh God, Taeyong..please I’m gonna..
Your father turns away and stares at the floor intently, trying to drown out your cries and the sounds of skin slapping on skin in the video.
“Oh God! Turn it off!!” Your mother yells.
Your father then looks around the room for the TV remote, finally finding it on the couch.
He firmly presses the power button, but nothing happens. He runs up to the TV and presses the power button on its base, but still nothing happens.
“No..this can’t be happening.” He mutters, his eyes widen.
A new video then starts to play, displaying you naked and kneeling on the ground below Taeyong. Your father recognizes his tattoos as he rubs his thumb along your round lips.
Stick your tongue out, little mouse.
Ah yes..just like that..
Taeyong groans as you lick his tip leaking with precum.
“Unplug the damn thing!”
Your mother yells again as she turns away and covers her ears.
Your father finally reaches behind the TV and tears the cord out of the socket.
Your parents breathe a sigh of relief as the video stops playing.
However, they would now have to unplug each and every TV in the house that blasted a sexual video of you.
“What is this? Is he doing this to blackmail us?” Your mother starts crying.
“I’m going to kill that bastard…”
“He’s ruined our daughter! Oh, God..how could we not see the signs?” She runs off to her bedroom with her ears still covered. The house is filled with the music of your moans and Taeyongs grunts. All the videos of you and him that he had taken played throughout.
Your father’s face is haunting, he looks dark, strange, his eyes shaking as he thinks of what to do next.
————
[Two Days Later]
Your mother enters the hair salon as she usually does on a Tuesday afternoon.
She greets the stylists and goes to the back room where her hair is to be washed before the cut.
After waiting for about 10 minutes, a stylist enters the room and places a black robe around her, tying it in the back.
“How are you today?” The male voice says smoothly.
“I’m alright.” Her eyes are still a bit red from crying, she was really worried for you, especially after seeing the videos that Taeyong had taken. She’s too preoccupied with her thoughts to look up at the man.
“Lean back for me. Close your eyes, just relax.”
The man takes her head and leans it against the wash bin as she moves to get comfortable.
“I can tell you’re going through a lot right now.”
“Yes...I am.” She nods slightly and closes her eyes.
The man hums then places a small amount of shampoo onto her hair before wetting it with the hose.
He massages her scalp with slow and tenuous movements, pressing his tips into her scalp while making circular motions.
His thumbs place pressure onto the back of her neck, carefully kneading into it and loosening a knot.
“That feels good...I don’t think I’ve had you before..” your mother lets out, she’s holding back an embarrassing moan, for his fingers just feel so incredibly good.
Her mouth falls open.
“Of course you’ve had me before..”
“I would definitely remember these hands.”
The man chuckles. “Oh? I hope your daughter remembers them.”
Her eyes open quickly. “What did you say?”
She tries to sit up in the chair, but the man grabs her by the hair and forces her back down.
“Relax, mom..it’s just me, Taeyong...I’m not gonna hurt you if you do what I ask.”
He continues to massage her scalp and hums a low tune. Your mother's eyes grow, she looks above her and sees the red haired man with crazy eyes. She reaches back to grab at his arms, scratching his skin as she squirms in her chair.
“Let me go! Let me go! Help! Someone help me!”
She yells for help, but the terrified stylists in the salon's main lobby sit in silence. Johnny has already locked the doors to the salon and holds two pistols in his hands, ready to aim at anyone that makes the slightest move.
“No one can help you, my love, only you can help yourself.” Taeyong smiles then grabs her arms and places them across her chest.
“I’m gonna ask you once..” he walks around the chair and bends down over her, gazing into her teary eyes.
“Where is she?”
“I could ask you the same question! What have you done to her?”
“Everything I did to her you’ve already seen on your TV. I know you’re hiding her from me. Where. Is. She?”
“Fuck you! You’ll never see her again! Even if I did know where she is, you’d have to walk over my dead body to get to her!” She spits out but Taeyong only laughs. He looked crazy, his red hair disheveled and eyes dark, his skin was extremely pale like he hadn’t gone outside for a while.
“Sweetheart, that’s no problem for me, but I’d rather not have to watch her mourn your death.”
Taeyong walks behind her and turns the hose on again, but this time he grabs a towel from the counter behind him.
He forces your mother’s head back, nearly breaking her neck in the process. She grunts and breathes through gritted teeth before grabbing at his arms again.
He throws the towel over her face and pours water onto it. Your mother starts to choke, she can’t breathe as water soaks through the towel, flooding her mouth and drowning her slowly. Her nostrils flare as they attempt to take in oxygen, but only take in water as well.
She flails about in the chair, her legs stomping and her nails leaving deep scratch marks into Taeyongs skin.
Taeyong hisses but laughs as she struggles to breathe.
“You’re a tough one. But all you have to do is tell me where she is..”
A muffled scream escapes.
“What was that?” He turns the hose off and lifts up the part of the towel covering her mouth.
She takes in a deep breath and coughs up water.
“Please! Please stop! I don’t know where she is!”
Taeyong replaces the towel and begins to waterboard her again.
“Hmmmm do you expect me to believe that?” Taeyong growls out. He’s growing impatient.
Another muffled sound escaped her after a few seconds.
Taeyong lifts the towel. “Ready to talk now?”
“Yes! Yes..” she chokes.
“I think her father knows..where she is, he told me that a member of the church saw her..please you can’t hurt her! She’s not a piece of shit like my husband is. She’s kind and a good person, please I beg you to not take out your frustrations on her.” She sobs.
Taeyong lifts the towel off completely.
“I won’t hurt her..I love her. I’m just a little..upset is all.” Taeyong speaks softly.
“And your husband..well he’s been ignoring me..that doesn’t make me happy..”
She stares and shakes like a cold, wet dog.
“Call your husband..” he hands her phone back to her.
She hesitantly dials him up. Her mind is filled with regrets for giving in, how could she put your life at risk? How could she tell the truth about your father getting info from a man that saw you in the city on the east side? The man said he had seen you come off of the bus and offered you a coat, but you quickly refused and walked away. That’s when he saw you meet up with a guy at a restaurant not too far away.
Your father had already figured out who you were with after he visited the area himself. He’d seen Jaehyun close the restaurant, he followed him home and the next day he followed him to the library on campus.
He had an insider watch closely over Jaehyun’s shoulder as he signed into your email account.
The truth was known to him, but he wouldn’t tell anyone or seek you out himself. He thought it’d be best if it remained a mystery. Even to his own wife.
“Hello?” Her husband answers.
She sniffles. “He’s here...you have to tell him where she is..or he’ll kill me!”
“No, oh God, no...where are you?!” He asks but before she can respond, Taeyong grabs the phone away from her and presses the ‘FaceTime’ button.
Once he answers, Taeyong smiles widely and places the phone in front of your mother. He rests his chin on her shoulder as she cries.
“Hey there, pastor, long time no see.”
“Taeyong..you maniacal asshole, leave my wife out of this!”
“But why? You’ve been ignoring me so I decided to spend some time with her. I must say she’s a lot nicer than you. She reminds me of your daughter too..”
He looks at the side of her face before kissing her cheek softly. “I miss her so much.”
“She told me that a little birdy told you where y/n is..let’s not waste anymore time. Tell me now!”
“I can’t do that, I can’t put her at risk!”
“Are you sure you want to keep saying no to me?” Taeyong grabs a pair of trimming scissors behind him and holds it to her neck, pressing the tip in to show obvious indentation.
Your mother cries out loudly. “Just do it!”
He shakes his head and bites his lip. “I’m sorry, honey, but I can’t give our daughter to him.”
His wife’s eyes widened. “You-you can’t be serious..you’re gonna let him kill me?”
He starts to tear up. “To protect our daughter...I have to.”
Taeyong chuckles. “Well, would you look at that..the crazy bastard doesn’t care about you.”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” The pastor shakes his head as it lowers.
“But I know what he does care about..money..”
Taeyong lifts the scissors out of your mother’s neck and places it onto the counter.
“See..I knew he wouldn’t care if I threatened your life, mom..I knew he wouldn’t care if I posted those videos of me fucking his daughter all over that grand house of his..but I do know he’d care if he loses his church..”
Taeyong takes his chin in his hand.
“What would happen if during one of your wonderful sermons..I put those videos of me and your daughter on the big screens.. Ah yes that online streaming service you have that reaches millions..oh, how disastrous would that be? All those families tuning in to porn unknowingly..you’d be ruined, wouldn’t you pastor?”
“How could your daughter be with me, a gang leader?”
Your father looks back at the screen furrowing his eyebrows and tilting his head. “These threats won’t work, you wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh, but let’s not stop there, pastor. Imagine what chaos would ensue if those emails between us just so happened to leak...a pastor..conducting the drug business in his own town?”
“Taeyong..”
“Just tell him where she is, God damn it! He’ll ruin us!” Your mother yells.
“Everything would be stripped away from you..it starts with the church, then harassment from the media as they call you a hypocrite…I’ve wanted to let the people know who you truly are for the longest time..I’ve spared you, but now, I have nothing to lose. I’ll fuck up your life, pastor.”
Taeyong grins an evil smile that the pastor just wants to smack from his face.
The pastor closes his eyes and sighs. He just couldn’t let the world know the true criminal he was and furthermore, he knew Taeyong would eventually catch up to you. What was the point of holding back?
Then, he thought of a plan, something that would catch Taeyong off guard. Taeyong’s weakness was that he believed he always had the upper hand in every situation, he’d never suspect what the pastor was about to do to him.
“Fine..but I won’t tell you where she is, I’ll bring her to you..tomorrow, meet me at the corner of 5th and Herst, in the alleyway. I’ll have her there for you.”
Taeyong smiles. “Perfect. Until then, your wife and I will keep each other company, maybe we’ll watch some movies and enjoy popcorn or something.”
“Taeyong, no, I need her.”
Taeyong chuckles. “Are you sure about that? Just a few minutes ago you didn’t care that I had a pair of scissors in her neck..”
“Yes but..”
“End of discussion,father, I’ll see you at 9 tomorrow night. And don’t even think about bailing on me, because for each minute you’re late, I’ll remove a finger or toe from your beautiful wife.” Taeyong ends the FaceTime call.
————
[The Next Day 9:30 PM]
Somehow, you were able to burn the onions.
You turned away for just a split second, then turned back to see your once white onions become black.
“Damn it.”
That’s when you hear the door open. You were cooking dinner for you and Jaehyun. It was a late dinner, yes, but Jaehyun had to close the restaurant.
“What’s this?”
Jaehyun laughed as he entered the kitchen and saw you tossing black onions into the sink.
“Uhhh..I’m cooking..well trying to cook spaghetti and meatballs..it’s not as easy as Gordon Ramsey makes it seem.”
You pout.
“Oh, you didn’t have to..” Jaehyun places his bag down and steps beside you in the kitchen.
“I know..but it’s the least I can do, you've welcomed me into your place and kept me safe, and for that, I’m forever thankful.”
“It’s nothing, really, I’m just helping you get away from what sounds like a crazy man.”
Jaehyun places his hand on top of yours.
You turn and look up into his gorgeous brown eyes.
He steps closer, his steamy breath tingling your forehead. You look at his lips and lick your own, you always had a small crush on him and now he was right in front of you, making your heart shiver and your mind cloudy.
He leans forward while still looking into your eyes
“The pasta is sticking to the bottom of the pan.” He whispers, almost seductively.
Your eyes widen as you step back and turn to the pot with the pasta.
“Oh! You’re right, oh no!”
Jaehyun laughs out.
“Hey!” You smile, feeling your face become hot from embarrassment.
“You’re cute.” Jaehyun takes his bag out of the kitchen and goes to his room.
“Thanks but I just wish I could cook!” You yell out to him.
He changes into a white t-shirt and pajama pants and walks back into the kitchen after a few minutes.
He watches from the entry way as you pour olive oil, a bit too much olive oil, onto the pasta. He smiles to himself.
“Being cute is enough, I like having you here.”
“Really?” You raise your eyebrows, then look back at him with an innocent expression.
“Yeah..” he nods and steps close to you once again.
“I-Jaehyun..I’ve always..” your words stumble out of your mouth as his close proximity makes you hot again.
He towers over you, licking his lips and crossing his arms. “Always what?”
You shake your head. You thought of Taeyong and how a part of you still loved him. Jaehyun was nice to you, you couldn’t ruin the friendship you had.
“N-Never mind.” You look away.
Jaehyun tilts your head back to his while holding your chin.
“Say it...please.”
You search his eyes, you’re enamored by him, completely taken aback by his touch and warmth.
You begged for God to forgive you for having sinful thoughts when you looked at him, you wanted to lay kisses onto his collarbones and run your fingers through his hair. You wanted him to kiss your lips for a long time as he wraps your legs around his waist and touches you..everywhere.
He leaned down, watching your lips part.
You were so close..but then..his phone rang.
He closed his eyes and sighed before stepping back. “I’m sorry, I’ll be right back, I think it’s my lab partner.”
You nod then turn back to your bubbling spaghetti sauce.
“I don't know what you’re talking about, I don’t know where she is!” You hear Jaehyun’s voice raise from his bedroom.
Your brows furrow. Who found his phone number? Who found him and possible found you? You hadn’t left his apartment since getting there.
You walk over to him and stand in the doorway, watching as Jaehyun angrily addresses the person on the phone.
“You’ve got the wrong number!” He hangs up and turns to you.
“Who was that?” You ask quietly, as if the person on the phone can still hear you.
“Someone that claims to be your father..”
His phone rang again.
Your eyes widened as you stared at his phone screen. “Ask him..what time was I born.”
If it’s him, you needed to talk to him, you needed to tell him that you’re okay.
Only you, your father and your mother knew the time you were born.
3:33 A.M
Your father always praised it as a holy time. “You’re an angel” he’d always say.
Jaehyun answered the stranger and asked the questions like you asked him to. “If you’re her father, what time was she born?”
He put the phone on mute then turned to you.
“he said 3:33 AM..”
Your eyes grew as you reached for his phone. “It’s him!”
You unmute it. “Dad?”
“Yes, dear, oh my God, thank God you're okay.” You can hear him start to sob.
“Dad, it’s okay, I’m okay.”
“I knew my prayers would not be in vain..” he cries.
“I need you to come back, sweetheart. We’ve got him, and we are gonna put him away for good, but we need your help.”
“Dad..what are you talking about?”
You look up at Jaehyun, his arms crossed and his brows knitted.
“That crazy man! He’s been after you since you ran away, but I got him! I tricked him into meeting up with me. He thought I would turn you in to him, but instead I had the cops ambush him. They arrested him, he’s being brought to the station right now, thank God.”
Your head begins to spin, your eyes start to blur as water fills them. “W-what do you mean ‘they arrested him?’”
How did they find out that Taeyong was the one to kill Mark? And why did you feel a sudden sense of despair now that he was arrested? He deserved it, right?
“Taeyong kidnapped and assaulted you, that’s what I told the cops, y/n. I told them that you ran away to get away from him. You have to come in as soon as possible to give a statement.”
“No..n-no, dad I can't do that..it isn’t true”
Silence falls over the phone. “What do you mean?”
You start to sob as you thought of Taeyong and all of your moments with him.
“I-I love him. I can’t deny it, my heart hurts just knowing he might be put away.”
Even after all he did, you still felt something for him.
“Are you stupid? This man is a monster! I saw the things he did to you in those videos!” Your father spits out into the phone.
“Yes! And I let him do those things, I enjoyed it! I can't lie to you or to the police!”
“You leave me no choice! If you don’t come back, I’ll come and get you myself! And I’ll have Jaehyun arrested for kidnapping too!”
You gasp. “Dad..you can’t do that..” sniffling, you look up at Jaehyun.
“He has nothing to do with this.”
“Then come home and make a statement! This is the only way out..for BOTH of us, we have to take him down!” Your father yells over the phone loud enough for Jaehyun to hear.
You hang up the phone and hand it back to Jaehyun.
He shakes his head slowly as he takes it. “Y/n...you don’t have to go back.”
You wipe your eyes. “I’m sorry, Jaehyun, I’m so sorry for all of this. I have to go back and make things right or...you’ll end up like….” Mark. You didn’t finish your sentence because Jaehyun still didn’t know that you knew who killed Mark.
“End up like who? You know what, it doesn’t matter.. Y/n, just stay with me, you’ll be okay..” the sorrowful look in his eyes eats away at your heart.
He reaches out for your hand, but you pull it away.
“Jaehyun.. I’ll be okay, I’ll see you on campus.”
Jaehyun sighs and looks away.
“I’ll need a hoodie.”
You grabbed one of Jaehyun’s hoodies and headed out of his apartment and to the closest bus station. Jaehyun walked you to it, and even waited for the next bus to arrive before he left.
As it approached, he felt his heart beat heavily in his chest. He was worried for you, but donned a small smile when you turned back to him to say bye.
You took his face in your hands and placed a light kiss on his cheek. He frowned as you pulled back and looked into his eyes.
“Goodnight, Jaehyun..I’ll see you soon.”
While on the bus, you thought of everything that happened. How worried and upset Taeyong must be about you running away. But he killed Mark, he killed an innocent person and your heart aches for your loss.
So why did you worry about Taeyong’s current state in jail?
Once at the bus stop, your mother gave you a big hug and held your face in her hands. “I’m so sorry to make you do this, honey, but I’m so happy you’re back home.”
You smiled softly, attempting to hide your worry as you looked into your mother’s drained face. She looked like she hadn’t rested or eaten well.
“I’m happy I’m home too.”
Your father nodded and hugged you too, but didn’t say anything, even during your ride to the police station.
When you entered the station, an officer took you into a room where they would ask you important questions.
“Please let me go in with her, she’s probably traumatized!” Your father begged as they took you away.
“Sir..we can’t let anyone else in, she isn’t a minor, so there’s no reason for her to be accompanied by a parent. We will provide her with whatever she asks for and give her as much time as she needs to tell us what happened.” The detective spoke to your parents as they waited in the lobby.
Your heart ran wild, your hands shook and grew sweaty as you stood only in what seemed to be a slowly collapsing box. You felt like you couldn’t breathe as the clicking sound of the door shutting behind you echoed in the room.
It was just you and the detective now.
“I’m going to turn on the light in the other room beside us..Once it is on, you will be able to see the room through this one-way mirror. I need you to identify the man in front of us..but do not worry, we can see him, but he can’t see or hear us. I ask that you answer honestly, but do take your time. We need as much info as possible. Understood?”
You nodded and swallowed hard. “Y-yes.”
She flicks the light switch and your heart drops almost immediately.
Taeyong sits in the center of the room, his wrists bound together with handcuffs. He looks tired, pale, like he hadn’t slept since you left.
The bags under his eyes donned a dark, almost black shade, and made him look even more dangerous than he did before.
Your mouth fell open. He looked like a sad puppy for the first time, he didn’t look like someone that could possibly kill an innocent person. He didn’t look like a gang leader at all, no, he looked like an innocent boy.
You wanted to run to him, hug him and apologize for leaving him. You wanted to see him happy again.
You start to twiddle your thumbs. “I-I can’t do this.”
You turn to the detective, but she places her hand on top of yours and nods slowly. “Yes..you can. Don’t worry, survivors like you often have this exact moment of uncertainty. But it is important that you take your time. Let’s start with a basic question. Do you recognize this man?”
“Y-yes.”
“What is his name?”
“Taeyong..his name is Taeyong.” You slowly start to speak more.
“How long have you known the suspect?”
“Suspect..” you whisper. “I’ve known him since July of this year..but…”
“What is it?” She turns to you, still holding the voice recording device in her hand.
“Why..why is he a suspect? What did he do?” You sounded ridiculous to the woman, but she didn’t notice that your eyes had not moved from watching Taeyong. You were falling for him over and over again silently. If it weren’t for the glass in between the two of you, you would’ve taken him into your arms and kissed him like there was no tomorrow, for you had missed him as well.
Taeyong could sense your presence even though he couldn’t see you. He was pissed that he had been set up by your father, a part of him knew that his guys could get him out in time, but he still hated the fact that he was made to look like a fool.
He knew he would kill your father as soon as he could instruct an assassin to do so, but that still wouldn’t solve his ache for you. He was overjoyed when your father finally agreed to bring you to him, he even made reservations at the finest restaurant in town to celebrate your reunion. He would kiss your lips all night long and lay beside you until the sun came out. He would never let you out of his sight again. But sadly, tonight nothing went as planned.
And to hear his father accuse him of engaging in non consensual activities made him furious.
“Dear...you’re the one that claims he assaulted you..is this not correct?”
So he wasn’t being arrested and charged with Mark’s murder, they had nothing on him for that. He was being falsely accused of a crime against you.
Taeyong stands up and walks over to the mirror. His hands still in his cuffs as he places them flat against the mirror. He searches for your face, knowing he won’t be able to see it even if he tries harder, but hoping that you’ll see his face filled with regret and pain.
“Y/n…” he calls out to you softly.
You can’t hear him, but you can see your name fall from his sweet lips.
You place your hands onto the glass to match his, tears falling from your eyes.
How can you accuse your love of a false crime? Especially when he looked so weakened, so low and desperate?
“No..no he didn’t kidnap or rape me, it was all consensual…” you state firmly, your eyes still locked with Taeyongs.
“Are you saying that this man, Taeyong, has never touched you without your consent? It’s okay you can be honest with me, he can’t see you.”
You shake your head. “I allowed him to love me..each and every time...because I love him..we love each other.”
“Ma’am, do you wish to press charges against Taeyong?”
“No, no I don’t, I want to be with him.”
The detective sighs and clicks the stop button on her recorder.
“Okay, if that’s the case, then we will have to set him free.”
You step out into the lobby as your parents stand up to greet you. You wipe tears away. “I couldn’t do it..I couldn’t lie.”
Your father’s face falls. “W-what are you saying?”
“She has decided to not press charges, you guys are all set to leave, the suspect is a free man, so I’d suggest leaving before he does.”
“You can’t be serious! She’s being manipulated by him! That’s emotional abuse!” Your father yells.
“Sir..”
“Please, you have to understand, our daughter is not like this. He’s turned her into someone else..he’s violently seducing her.” Your mother begs.
“I understand, but there is nothing we can do. If she says she does not want to press charges, then we are only wasting our time here. Our station could be in deep trouble if we keep the suspect any longer just for your daughter to change her mind.”
Your mother looks away.
“Pastor..” the detective turns to your father, “please, come with me.”
You and your mother step aside while the two talk.
“You of all people know how powerful Taeyong is..how could you get us into this mess?! He has information on all of us and we arrested him before he could use it against us, but now he’s free and aware of our plan! You were supposed to have her plead a case so strong, it would put him away for life! Do you know how much danger you’ve put me and the other sergeants in? This business that he runs affects ALL of us.”
The detective speaks angrily to your father.
The police were just as involved in Taeyongs drug movements as he was. They’d take a profit from the business made in the city, they were the ones that planted it on criminals that needed to be put away.. they also provided it to CEOs and big white collar men so that they wouldn’t be arrested for possession.
But the police had been upset for quite some time at how Taeyong controlled everything, they thought it should be one of their own, not some street kid that had killers everywhere, ready to strike.
“There’s no telling what he’ll do now.” The detective cursed.
“We still have the videos..” your father looked to the floor.
“Videos? What videos? The ones of them having sex like normal adults? Yeah, those are gone anyway, you know that hacker of his works fast.” The detective rolls her eyes.
“I’m sorry..but don’t worry, we still have another chance..”
The pastor had devised a backup plan in case this one fell through. He’d send you out of the country to another school and under a different identity. Then he’d tell everyone that you had been murdered by Taeyong, and would conjure up evidence against him.
You were in the car, heading back home when your parents started to argue.
“This is ridiculous!” Your dad yelled.
“Don’t blame this on her! You’re the one that got involved with this guy!”
“She has the power to end all of this!”
He retorted.
You sat in the backseat and looked out the window, thinking of Taeyong and whether or not you should’ve lied.
“But that’s alright, we’ll send her away to that one catholic school in Italy! She’ll be able to repent and beg for God’s forgiveness!”
Your father let out.
“What?”
You turned to him.
“You heard me..you’re going away, you’ll be finishing your studies elsewhere so you can be away from this monster and return back to Christianity. Don’t think you’re off the hook after what we saw in those videos. The sins you committed..I can only pray for mercy.”
“No! You can’t do that!” Your voice rose.
Your mother turned to you. “Your father is being a bit dramatic right now, but it’s true. It’s for your own safety.”
“Mom..don’t send me away..” you panted.
She reached out and laid her hand on your thighs. “Sweetheart, it will be okay, we will visit you whenever we can, and you’ll get to travel! It will be so exciting to leave this town behind.” She gave a small smile before turning back around.
Your father calms down slowly. “Y/n..” he takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to be so harsh on you, but..”
“What..who is that?” Your mother squints and looks out onto the front yard of your house.
Multiple men stand along the front of your house, dressed in black and those same glowing masks that you could never forget. They were haunting enough, but as they stood still with large weapons and motorcycles beside them, you felt a chill run down your spine.
“No…” your father says with wide eyes.
“It’s him.”
The car slowly comes to hault.
Your dad locks the doors.
“Stay inside.”
“What are we gonna do now? The cops aren’t gonna come, are they?” Your mother rubs her temple.
When you look through the front glass you see him at the center, leaning onto his motorcycle.
“How the hell did they get through the front gate?”
“Don’t be an idiot, you know they have their ways.” Your mother turns to him.
But all you can do is watch Taeyong. The way he sits coolly on the bike, leaning his head back as he runs his fingers through his crimson hair.
He removes his mask and places it beside him on the seat.
He’s alluring, beautiful. The night sky only adds to his sexy and mysterious aura.
“I want to go to him.” You whisper. “He’s here for me.”
“Are you insane?” Your dad turns to you.
“No, but you’ll send me off to another country whether or not I want to..I can’t do that.”
“Y/n..sweetie,no..” your mother starts but you quickly unlock the door and jump out of the car, running out of it and to Taeyong without care or worry.
You have no thoughts, just desire. You want to be beside him, you want to feel him again.
You hug him tightly.
“Little mouse..” he whispers into your ear while looking over your shoulder and onto the dumbstruck face of your father in the driver's seat.
He hugs you tightly and rubs your back.
“Taeyong..I’m sorry, I was scared.”
“I know..but I’ll never hurt you, you know that.” He leans back and grips your throat while looking into your eyes. He gives you a wicked smile as he rubs his thumb along your bottom lip.
He then leans down and kisses you hard, forcing his tongue into your mouth.
Your teeth clink against each other as your heads turn.
You pull yourself closer to him, not caring about your parents or anyone else watching the two of you. You feel amazing, your craving is finally satisfied as his tongue licks your lips.
He pulls away and looks into your eyes. “We have a lot to talk about don’t we..”
Your father jumps out of the car and walks up to the two of you.
“This is enough! Stop terrorizing us! Give us our little girl!” He cries out.
Taeyong’s eyes flicker up to him as every one of his guys points their gun at your father in unison, stopping him in his tracks.
“You’ve got some nerve, pastor…” his mouth lifts into a smile.
“But I’ll make a deal with you.. I won’t tell anyone or the media about tonight or your involvement in drug crimes..”
Your mouth falls open, what did Taeyong mean?
“Just as long as you leave us alone AND pay all of us double the amount for each delivery.”
Your father stumbles over his words, his eyes racing from the men that point guns at him then to your face.
“Please..anyone, anyone but her.” He begs.
Taeyong chuckles. “No..no, I want her. She’s not just “anyone.”
He looks down into your eyes.
Your father sighs and accepts defeat, as he sees how enchanted you are by him. There is no going back, you've been completely corrupted by him.
“Fine. But please don’t hurt her.” He steps back.
“Goodnight, pastor..” Taeyong waves and smiles wickedly.
You jump onto Taeyong’s bike and head off to his apartment.
————
Once in his place, Taeyong takes you to his living room.
He instructs you to stand in the center while he takes his leather jacket off and plops down onto the couch.
“Taeyong..I’m sorry.”
You play with your fingers behind your back and bite your lips. He looked amazing in his black button up and black jeans. Three buttons were open to reveal his toned chest.
“I know you are...but that’s not enough..where were you?” He tilts his head and spreads his arms out along the top of the couch.
“I..I was with a family member on the east side. Please Taeyong, I was scared I didn’t know what to do! Please forgive me.”
“What do you do in church when you beg for forgiveness, little mouse?”
“I...pray, I get on my knees and pray.” You nod.
“Then what should you be doing right now?”
You instantly fell to your knees on the hard, cold floor. You whimper at the harsh pain you felt.
You put your hands together. “Please..please don’t hurt anymore people.”
Taeyong’s cat eyes lock with yours as your heart races. “Little mouse...I was in so much pain when you left me. I’m upset so I need you to answer me honestly, where. were. You?”
You begin to tremble. “Taeyong, I’m here now, isn’t that enough? My aunt decided to help me deal with the loss of M-“
Taeyong’s eyes widened. “Mark? I got rid of him for you! For us! What is there to mourn?”
“Taeyong, he was my friend, nothing more, I need you to trust me if we are going to make this work.”
You licked your lips as you spoke through furrowed brows.
“I trust you..do you trust me to protect us? To protect what we have?” Taeyong leans forward.
You nod quickly. “Yes.”
He stares into your eyes for a moment then leans back into the chair. “Prove it, crawl to me.”
Your mouth opens to protest but the glint of danger in Taeyong’s eyes stops you. You just need to do what he says in order to get what you want. The aching in between your legs had no plan to go away until you were satisfied by him.
You crawled over slowly then kneeled once you got to his bent legs.
You sat up straight, the heels of your foot under your bum, and looked up at him through your lashes.
He was so handsome, you wanted to climb up onto his lap and make love to him.
He waved a finger. “Take your sweatshirt off..”
Taeyong had noticed that you wore a men’s hoodie, and he wasn’t too happy about it, but he ignored his suspicions.
“Who does this belong to?” He took it from you as you lifted it over your head, your breasts falling victim to the crisp air in the apartment.
“It’s my..cousin’s!” You answered quickly.
Taeyong threw it to the side and looked back at you. “I hate when you lie to me, sweetheart.”
“I’m not lying! I promise!”
Taeyong keeps eye contact with you as he reaches into his waistband and pulls out his gun.
He takes the safety off and places it right in front of you.
You shy away from the intimidating weapon and whimper.
“Taeyong!”
“If you’re telling the truth, lick it like it’s me, little mouse.”
You’re hesitant but raise your head back up. You stick your tongue out to lick the underside of the gun first, your eyes brimming with tears.
“Don’t cry, love, I won’t hurt you..even though I could pull this trigger right now and end it all..”
Taeyong watches your eyes widen.
“I could end the pain that I’ve experienced because you threw me away.”
You shake your head. “I didn’t throw you away, I love you!”
“Keep going..don't stop until I tell you to, or I’ll be even more upset. What did you say we needed to make this work? Hmmm trust..that was the word. So trust me..”
Taeyong sighed
You continue to lick it, the cold metal leaving a bitter taste on your tongue.
“Use those pretty lips.” Taeyong feels himself harden in his pants as he watches you below him blow the gun like it’s him.
You flatten your tongue along the round tip of the barrel then sink down onto it completely. Your cheeks hollowing as you imagine that it is Taeyong’s tempting member in your mouth.
“Fuck..you’re beautiful..” Taeyong pushes the gun in and out of your mouth, watching as your spit coats the metal.
Your eyes are locked with his as he begins to palm himself through his jeans. He pushes the gun in deeper and faster to hit the back of your throat. You gag as tears run down your cheeks.
He can’t take it anymore. He removes the gun from your mouth and places it down onto the couch behind him.
He quickly zips his pants down, allowing his cock to spring free. You lick your lips and replace the gun with his cock, enjoying the salty taste of his precum and moaning onto him. You move your head up and down rapidly, using your tongue and the plush inside of your hollowing cheeks to bring him to the edge. He groans and throws his head back.
He holds the back of your head and bucks his hips into you. You gag, his rough movements making your throat feel raw. Your jaw becomes locked. But he goes even faster then holds you down against him as he cums in your mouth. The feeling of him finally using you to orgasm is beyond satisfactory. Your underwear is soaked.
Taeyong pants and leans back into the couch. “Tuck it back in for me, little mouse.”
Taeyong flinches at the feeling of your cold, soft fingers on his limp cock.
You zip his pants up and wait for more instructions.
Through low eyes he motions for you to go to him. You stand up straight and wipe your mouth and cheeks.
“Take off your pants, sweetheart.”
You immediately draw your pants and underwear down in one quick sweep, your heart beats fast. You want to feel him so badly.
Taeyong bites his lips while looking into your completely naked body. “You’re gorgeous and you’re all mine..”
He holds your waist and brings you down onto his lap.
“Do you want to ride me like a good girl?” Taeyong’s husky voice enters your ear, his fingers dip in between your thighs, tapping against your dripping folds.
You hiss and breathe heavily.
“Yes..”
“Yes, what?” Taeyong holds your neck and looks into your eyes.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good girl..” he pats his thigh.
You give a puzzled expression. “I-“
“It’s easy, just move like you did on the stool..” Taeyong smirks.
“Okay.” You nod and place your hands on his shoulders.
He grips your waist again and presses you firmly onto his thigh, pushing your body forward and backward while looking into your eyes.
You let out a whimper as the rough fabric presses onto your flower.
Your soaking heat coats his jeans. You move faster and faster. Taeyong watches your face twist as you experience a strange mix of pain and pleasure.
He presses his tongue flat against your nipple. You grip his shoulder harder and moan out his name.
He circles his tongue around the swollen bud then pulls away.
“How do you feel, little mouse?” He flexes his thigh under your open legs, making you yelp and fall forward at the unexpected friction against your aching pussy.
“It feels..so good, sir.” You struggle to get out, your hips rocking back and forth. You find that one spot that makes you weak and continue to ride against it. Your clit feels incredibly stimulated by the rough material. You feel raw, but sexy under Taeyong’s gaze.
“Sir..I’m going to..” you gasp.
Taeyong licks the other nipple while his hand massages your breast, pumping it while pressing his fingertips into the soft skin.
Your body shakes onto him, you throw your head back and moan loudly as you come undone on his thigh.
The combination of his swift tongue on your nipple and his clenching thighs on you sent you overboard. You saw stars.
Taeyong smirked then grabbed your ass to force you to keep moving on his thighs. You trembled and cried out as overstimulation set in.
“I’ve missed you, little mouse, I’ve missed the way you taste.” He whispers against your chest then lifts you up and places you onto the couch beside him.
You’re on your back still recovering from your orgasm when he crawls over you slowly. He holds your ankles kissing along your right leg as he slowly places it over the couch. He then lays down and faces your leaking and exposed pussy.
“Mmm so pretty.” His warm breath makes you flinch.
He picks up his gun and teases your entrance with it, sliding the metal in between your folds as you cry out.
“Taeyong!”
You try to pull yourself up on the couch, but he pulls you down by the waist. Your knees clink together.
He presses the gun into you harder, rubbing it up and down, just barely touching your clit. He spreads your legs open again, his fingers digging into your thigh.
He bites his lips as he uses the round tip to part your folds and tease your entrance, swirling around the juices that escaped earlier.
“Fuck..I wanna taste you..”
He licks the gun clean of your juices as he watches you below him with dark eyes, you lick your lips and moan.
“Ahhh you’re so needy, little mouse. Should I fuck you with my gun or my mouth next?”
He rubs your clit with the gun as he bites his lips and waits for your answer.
“Keep going, sir. I like it.”
Taeyong leans back down and kisses your clit. “Why not both?”
He places one finger into your throbbing pussy slowly circling it around. You whimper and arch your back as it feels good to have something finally inside you. He then places another finger inside to stretch you out. He slides them in and out easily while using his thumb to press onto your clit. His fingertips tap onto your g spot teasingly.
“Oh my god!” Your arch your back even more then massage your breasts. The sight of you below him like this makes him weak. Your skin sweaty and hair disheveled, your lips swollen and red from you biting them. You’ve been corrupted by him yet again.
“That’s it, sweetheart.” He removes his fingers and replaces them with his gun, carefully sliding it in and out as you adjust to the cold metal not inside you.
“Fuck.” Taeyong curses. Something about your pussy welcoming his gun makes him dizzy. The danger of it all is unbelievably hot to him.
“How does it feel?”
“It feels..strange, but good, sir, please keep going.” You prop yourself up on your elbows and look down at the black object sliding easily into you. You let out a moan.
“So good, s-sir.”
Taeyong pushes your legs further apart .
You begin to ride it yourself, your eyes floating from the wet gun and to Taeyong’s veiny hands and muscular arms decorated by tattoos. His red hair is parted to the side but a strand fell into his forehead during all the action.
His lips are red and plump, just begging to be kissed by you.
Your velvety walls begin to clench as you move up and down onto the object faster. Taeyong watches your fucked out expression while you chase your high. Your breasts bounce fervently as you move your body faster. Endless whimpers leave your lips.
“Are you going to cum?” Taeyong leans back down over your opening and lifts up the skin above your clit.
“Yes—sir!”
He flattens his tongue against your clit then circles the tip of it around it.
He pushes his tongue in firmly, licking upwards at unpredictable paces ll while never letting your eyes contact go.
You throw your head back as your eyes roll in the back of your head.
“I’m…Taeyong!” your body shakes, the knot in your stomach finally being relieved, you can’t finish your sentence. Taeyong’s tongue drives you crazy, you can’t think straight. Your body felt like it had been transported to another real mmt as his tongue still massages your clit.
You fall back into the couch, your movements stopping.
Taeyong takes his gun out and licks up your cum while closing his eyes and savoring the taste.
He places the gun beside him then leans down to kiss you so you can taste yourself.
“I love you...but I’ll just have to punish you for running away.” He kisses your forehead as your eyes open.
That itch for Taeyong had been satisfied, but now you had to deal with the consequences of your actions.
“I have something to show you.” He whispers while taking a strand of hair out of your face.
He takes you to the guest room where he has placed a large, wooden cross onto the wall.
At the ends are straps for one's arms and legs, your eyes grow.
“Taeyong…”
He takes your hand and brings you closer to the large cross while smiling. He turns to face you.
“Did you think I’d let you off this easy? Tsk tsk” Taeyong smirks. He quickly lifts you up and places your legs around his waist. He then lifts your arms up one by one and attaches them to the cross. He backs away and allows your naked body to dangle.
“Taeyong..please! I said I was sorry!”
“And this will prove to me that you truly are…I had trouble sleeping because I was so worried about you...now, I must return the favor.” He says as he brings both feet together and buckles your ankles to the cross as well.
He steps back and marvels at the beautiful sight of you on the cross.
He smiles. “Y/n...you’re my savior, you’re all that I need, you’re my religion, and I would do anything for you.”
“Taeyong..please, my arms hurt.” You cry out.
“Shhh don’t beg, my love.”
He turns and grabs the remote for the TV right across from you.
He presses the “on” button and you immediately see a video of Taeyong taking you from behind.
“I’ve made a special movie for you..it will play our most special moments over and over tonight. This will ensure that you will never forget what it’s like to be with me again.”
“Taeyong, I never forgot about you..” you say softly in a final attempt to be let down.
“Then why did you stay away for so long?” Taeyong growls out, his eyes are wild, like he is holding back a deep anger.
Your mouth falls open into silence.
“My love..I hope you can appreciate this gift.” Taeyong then exits the room, leaving you alone with the bright and loud TV playing compilation videos of you and Taeyong having sex, along with disturbing videos of murders being carried out by his gang.
You cry silently and close your eyes tightly, but you can’t drown out the sound. Your arms and legs hurt from being strained for so long, you’re not sure how much more you can take after just an hour.
“Taeyong!” You call out but there’s no answer.
You stay suspended on the cross and cry throughout the entire night.
You struggled against the restraints from time to time, until you couldn’t even feel your arms. You closed your eyes tightly and looked up, down, to the side..anywhere but forward where the TV was. And somehow, you were able to close your eyes and fall asleep to the sound of your moans and Taeyongs deep voice in the video. But soon you were woken once again by a violent and disturbing video of torture or murder.
The next morning, Taeyong came into the room and untied you. He shut the TV off and carried your strained and numb body to the shower.
“Taeyong..” you whispered softly, your tired eyes opening slowly as you drifted in and out of consciousness.
“Yes, little mouse, I’m here..” He kissed your cheek, then trailed his soft, warm lips down your jaw and neck.
He helped you shower then took you to his bed.
He then covered your body with a blanket and sat on the edge of the bed beside you. He bed smelled like a field of flowers, the plush and bouncy pillow below your head felt especially heavenly.
“Did you do all those things to those people?” You mutter out with your eyes closed.
“Yes..they were bad people, they deserved their punishment, just like you deserved yours..”
Your eyes open wide.
“But lucky for you, you’ve begged for forgiveness and gained it from me.”
Taeyong gave you a small smile. “You should rest now.”
He was about to leave but you called out to him.
“Taeyong...do you trust me?”
The last thing you wanted was for Taeyong to do some digging to find out who you really spent time with during those two weeks. If he found out you were lying and found out about Jaehyun, that would be the last straw. He’d lose it. He would kill the both of you, and maybe your parents too.
You wanted reassurance that he would let it go once and for all, that you could move on and be like you were before.
Taeyong looked back at you and gave a questioning look as he raised an eyebrow.
But he didn’t say anything. He leaned down and placed his lips on yours. Your eyes closed and you finally found some strength in your arms and wrapped one around him, your fingers lightly scratching his back as his lips caressed yours.
His fingers press into your scalp while he listens to you moan.
“Should I trust you?” He says before kissing your neck.
You whimper as he presses his chest onto yours, his pelvis resting against you. You widen your legs a little, your breath leaving you as soon as you feel his hard member poke against the blanket.
He continues to kiss your lips, the way his tongue leaves gentle licks along your bottom lip and the way his hands move on your scalp puts you in a trance.
You reach down into his boxers and take his hard member into your hand, cupping it and moving it up and down slowly.
A groan leaves his lips and enters your mouth, you continue to stroke his member.
He then kisses your neck. “Oh, little mouse, you’re too good and making me feel this way.” He growls and bucks into your hand.
You feel a growing moisture in between your legs.
“You should trust me..I’m yours.” You whisper against his ears as you rub the precum in his tip with your thumb.
“I want to feel you..please.”
Taeyong kisses your collarbone and sucks hard. “Say it.”
“Want to feel you inside me..”
A whimper escapes your throat. You’re so pent up, you feel you might burst.
Taeyong lifts himself from you and throws the blanket beside you, revealing your naked body and drenched entrance.
“What do you want me to do?” Taeyong smirks, his forehead glistening with sweat. He removes your hand and replaces it with his own, positioning his cock right in front of your needy opening.
“Taeyong…” you gasp as you watch the toned figure above you and run your hand down his abs.
He nearly cums as he watches his name fall from your innocent lips. Your eyes widen and you lick your lips while your chest rises up and down rapidly.
He watches you stare at his cock as he pleasures it himself.
“Fuck me..”
Taeyong chuckles then rubs his tip in between your folds. You moan at the feeling of something finally against your throbbing hole.
He doesn’t waste any more time as he pushes into you, thrusting your body upwards against the bed.
“Yes..”
You feel every vein of his wonderful cock as he runs it against your silky walls. You clench without control and whimper as he pushes in harder.
“Are you going to cum so soon, little mouse?” Taeyong tilts his head as he watches your jaw tense. He holds onto your knees, pushing them further apart making you cry out.
Your legs wrap around his waist. Your hands shake and grip his back as if to hold onto your sanity.
He presses his thumb onto your clit. “Answer me, sweetheart.”
“Y-yes..”
Taeyong continues to move his thumb sensually in circles onto your body. He looks into your pure eyes.
Time moves in slow motion as your body trembles.
You cry out his name one final time and dig your fingers into his back.
Taeyong cums soon after, groaning and releasing onto your breasts as they move up and down rapidly.
He treasures the sight of your entire body shining with sweat and now his cum on your beautiful chest.
He leans down and kisses your nipples before flattening his tongue onto each one slowly.
“Oh..Taeyong..” you moan and close your eyes, your hands running through his scalp.
You cum again a few minutes after. That day, you and Taeyong made love and love again on his bed, your bodies entangled with each other while you change positions. Your tongues never grew tired, your hands covered all areas of skin, your neck covered in love bites. and your bodies sunk into the cloud-like bed once it was all over.
But as you laid down beside Taeyong, you couldn’t help but think about how Taeyong never answered your question.
He never said if he trusted you.
————
[Three Days Later]
Taeyong dropped you off and picked you up from all of your classes. He didn’t let you see or speak to your parents. But they didn’t reach out to you either. You wondered why they gave up so easily, but then you remembered your father's words. He only wanted to protect himself and his money. It hurt knowing that he was this way all while being involved in illegal activities with Taeyong.
You finally realized that it was your father that caused the break in, you felt betrayed by the man you were raised by.
You started to question your faith, but you still visited the church and prayed. You prayed for your family’s health and safety, you prayed for Mark’s safe arrival in heaven and for your forgiveness. Each time you thought of him, you teared up.
You also prayed for Jaehyun’s safety. You hoped that you wouldn’t run into him on campus, for you knew that he would ask too many questions.
The fact that Taeyong could possibly have his guys watch you on campus to see who you interacted with made you nervous.
No one was safe around you until you gained Taeyong’s trust.
And when you asked for it, Taeyon would only give you a small smile and caress your cheek with his thumb. He’d say you were “cute” or start to kiss you.
But last night he said “soon..I will.”
You weren’t sure what he meant by that but his words haunted you even as you walked to class.
You looked onto the sidewalk and gripped your backpack, you were about to cross the street at a stoplight when you felt a tap on your shoulder.
“Hey, stranger.”
You turned to see a dimpled, brown haired boy.
Jaehyun. Oh no.
You looked around nervously. “Jaehyun! Hey, how are you?”
He smiled widely. “I’m alright, how are you? How have you been doing?” He stepped towards you with a look of concern.
“I’m fine! I’m sorry about what happened, I-I blew things out of proportion.” You smiled back, but your eyes still looked anxious.
Jaehyun looked around, then looked back at you.
“What-who are you looking for?”
“Huh? I’m sorry, what?”
“You keep looking around like someone is watching you, is everything okay?” He whispered.
“Oh! Haha, yeah everything is fine, I was just looking for my friend, we’re supposed to walk to class together!”
“Oh, I see. Well, I’d love to study or even have dinner with you if you have time today..”
“I’d love to, but I already have plans…” you looked out across the street and pretended to wave to someone.
“Oh! She’s over there, I’d love to talk more, but I have to go, I’ll catch you l-“
You start to walk away, but Jaehyun takes your hand and tugs you back slightly.
He stares at your wrist. You hadn’t noticed that when you waved, your sleeve had fallen down slightly, revealing the subtle markings left from the straps Taeyong used to tie you to the cross a few nights ago.
Jaehyun’s eyes grew. “Y/n..what is this? Are you in trouble?”
You tugged your hand away and rubbed your wrist. “It-it’s nothing! I just had a, um, an allergic reaction to this bracelet my mom bought me!”
Jaehyun tilts his head. “Y/n..you can talk to me.”
“I’m fine, trust me..I’ll see you later, okay? I really have to go..” you spring away as Jaehyun opens his mouth to protest.
While in class, you struggle to focus on your studies. You thought about Taeyong, and how you could love someone that killed people. Those videos replayed throughout your mind, but so did the memories of Taeyong’s bright smile and laugh. You can’t push away the feelings you have when you look at him, falling into him every time as he magically makes you forget all that he’s done. Is this love? It felt like it, but something still felt wrong.
“Miss y/l/n...care to join us?”
Professor Li interrupted your thoughts.
You nodded. “I’m sorry, what was the question?”
“In 2 Samuel 11, David displeased the Lord by doing what?” The professor's deep voice echoed in the silent classroom of about 50 people.
Your mouth falls open. You hadn’t read that section and had no clue what the answer was.
“I-I..”
He stepped closer to your desk with his book in hand. “Stuttering? No, David did not do that..”
He looks down on you intimidatingly. You sunk down into your chair as your face felt hot.
“Miss y/l/n, I don’t understand how you can take so much time away from class only to fall behind..you’ve had plenty of time at home to read, isn’t that right?”
“Y-yes, Professor.”
“Then why haven’t you read this? Do you expect knowledge and information to just jump into the tiny brain of yours? You have to read so you can absorb it all, make it bigger.”
“You’re right, I’m s-“
“Don’t apologize, just open the book and read the words, or do I need to send you back to English 101?”
A few snickers erupted in the class. Your vision became blurry as you teared up.
“No, professor, I will read it tonight.” Your voice barely above a whisper.
“Did we all hear that class? Miss y/l/n has decided to actually do the readings for class, let’s give her a round of applause..” Everyone clapped for you and some students started to laugh out more as the professor rolled his eyes and walked back to the board.
You grabbed your backpack and quickly headed for the door when class ended.
“Miss y/l/n..I need you to stay after class for a few minutes..”
You sighed and stepped to the side to allow other students to leave his class.
Once the room was empty, the professor called you over to his desk.
“Are you okay?” The 50-something year old looked into your eyes over his glasses.
“I’m fine..” you played with your thumbs in front of your skirt.
“Do you have...personal.. stuff going on at home?”
“Yes..”
Professor Li was always jealous of your father. He hated how much power he had and made it known to you every time he had you in class, but today he really embarrassed you and you just wanted to run home and cry.
“I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, I’m sure being the child of a pastor is no easy task…” he stands up and stretches.
“But remember to always have faith, to always believe in the good Lord, and to serve him well..”
You nodded. Of course you knew all of this, but why did he make you nervous with each step he took towards you?
“With that being said..I suggest you spend less time with these sinful boys and more time with your head in the books.”
“I’m sorry? I’m not following..” your brows furrow.
He chuckled and looked to the side as he stood in front of you and leaned back on the desk.
“Come on, y/n..these little skirts that you wear even during the winter time..the knee highs..where is your modesty?”
He eyed you up and down and even had the audacity to bite his lips as he stared at a loose button in your top.
You scoff. “Shouldn’t you be worried about your wandering eyes and sexualization of me?”
He stood up straight and looked onto you sternly. “What did you say to me?”
“I’ve done nothing for you to accuse me of ditching class to engage in sexual activities..” you firmly let out.
He laughs then grabs your waist, you jump and try to push him away but he pulls you onto him firmly.
“Let go! You creep!” You shove him away.
“Y/n..”
That familiar voice echoed in the room.
The professor immediately lets go and looks frightened.
You turn to see Taeyong.
“Taeyong?”
Taeyong doesn’t look at you, he glares at the man that touched you and walks over slowly.
“Hey, little mouse, I was worried about you..” he says coolly, but the look on his face is hauntingly unreadable. You feel your stomach grow sick as he gets closer, the crazy glint in his eyes becoming more and more visible.
He looks at you and takes your face in his hand. He wipes a tear that has fallen down your cheek with his thumb.
“I saw everyone leave class...except for you.” His eyes shift from your face and onto Professor Li’s.
The professor swallows hard, his skin crawling with unease as Taeyong’s aura is dark and nerve racking. He had no idea who this man was but the tattoos, red hair, and piercings told him enough.
“...why is that, professor?”
“Miss y/l/n is falling behind on her studies, but now I see what, or rather, who she’s been preoccupied with..” the professor eyes Taeyong up and down and looks at him with disgust.
Taeyong smiles wickedly. “I’ll be sure to take care of what’s keeping her from succeeding, Professor..maybe you should take care of those...lingering hands..”
He turns to look up at the crucifix above the professor's desk.
“I'm sure the lord is not too happy about that move you just pulled.” He still has that crazy smile on his face as he takes your hand.
The professors mouth fell open.
“We should leave..” Taeyong did everything in his power to hold back his desire to bash this man’s head on the desk.
You both walked away, but not before the professor let out one final remark.
“Lust..It was a sin of lust that David committed.”
You continued walking as the professor let out a chuckle.
Taeyong drove you back to his place in silence.
“Are you upset with me?” You turn and ask him while in the passenger seat of his brand new sports car.
“No, of course not, I know it was out of your control.”
You didn’t know what to be more worried about. The fact that Taeyong waited only a few minutes for you to disappear from his sight before he searched for you, or the fact that he let your professor off so easily. It was unlike him.
“Will you hurt him?” You ask.
Taeyong hums for a moment and tilts his head. “Maybe..maybe not, what would you like me to do?”
“I-I don’t know, he was so mean to me..” you shocked yourself. Your immediate response should’ve been “don’t hurt him.” But instead, you actually contemplated whether or not he should receive some sort of punishment. Was Taeyong changing you?
“Well, little mouse, I’m sure everything will work out in the end...don’t worry about him, he’ll never place a finger on you again.” He turns to you, there’s a wild look in his eyes that you can’t describe.
You approach the apartment complex and Taeyong parks into a spot designated to him. You click open your seatbelt, but Taeyong holds your hand.
“Hey..” he calls out to you softly and looks down to your lips.
“Yes..”
Taeyong is captivated by your eyes, deep and so round.
He clicks his seatbelt open too and leans over to kiss you, turning his head as his warm tongue brushed against your bottom lip for entrance.
You close your eyes and deepen the kiss, your arms going up and around his neck to pull him closer. Your thighs tighten together as you feel a wet sensation building in between them. Taeyong has this effect on you, every time, he so easily turns you into a begging and needy mess.
Taeyong grips your thigh and pulls it away, leaving you subject to the cold air in the car.
You moan into his mouth as you feel his digits press onto your slit, gliding up and down slowly.
He chuckles. “Ahh such a good girl…” Taeyong kisses your neck as he pushes one finger in, your body shifting in the seat to get a better feeling of his wonderful fingers inside you. The image of Taeyongs veiny, tattooed arm disappearing into your skirt makes you moan with more volume.
“That’s it, little mouse, tell me how good your pussy feels..” He pushes another finger into you then rubs your bud with his thumb.
You bite your lips as his fingers pump in and out of you while pressing onto your sweet spot. But Taeyong taps against it teasingly, barely pressing into it.
“Harder...please.” You breathily exclaim.
“No..you have to tell me how good it feels..”
He says against your neck then bites it.
“Ahh!” You yelp. “It feels good, s-so good.”
He watches your mouth fall open through low eyes, your pussy becoming increasingly wet as he continues to explore your walls with his long fingers.
He takes your hand and places it onto the tent in his pants. “Do you feel that?”
“Yes..” you bite your lips.
He bucks into your hand as you palm it. “Do you want it? Tell me badly you want it..” a smile falls onto his lips as he whispers against your jaw.
“I want it, Taeyong, I want you..fuck me please.”
Your hips move on their on onto his hand, you can’t hold back any longer and clench just at the thought of Taeyong fucking you hard in his brand new car.
But Taeyong pulls his fingers out, a pop echoing in the car. He licks his fingers slowly and closes his eyes.
“As you wish, sweetheart.”
You whimper at the sudden emptiness.
“Take your panties off for me, but leave your pretty skirt on..”
You immediately drag your underwear down your legs and leave it on the floor, then turn to Taeyong and wait for his next instruction.
“Get in the back..” he demands and turns the dash cam on his windshield around to record the inside of the vehicle instead.
You go to open the door but Taeyong stops you.
“No, no...through here..crawl back there.”
He smirks as he taps the center console.
You crawl over it, your hands resting firmly against the back seat as your abs flex to bring the rest of your body to the back.
But Taeyong chuckles and wraps his arm under your stomach. He grips you tightly, holding you in place as you whimper.
“T-Taeyong?” You breathe heavily while in this weird position, your ass up and head down as your knees rest on the arm rest.
“Yes, little mouse, I just want to admire you from this angle for a moment.” You hear a low chuckle escape Taeyong. He flips up the frilly end of your skirt.
Your bare ass and dripping pussy is now on display for him and the camera.
He uses his other hand and swats your opening. Your legs become weak.
The high pitched noise you make makes Taeyong grow even more.
He slides his fingers in between your folds, coating them with your slick once again.
“I love your body, sweet girl, but your pussy is my favorite part..it’s so wet, I wish you could see it right now.” His deep, husky voice is laced with lust.
He spreads his index and middle finger to separate and expose your silky hole, but does so at an awfully slow pace. You moan and move against his fingers, hoping to gain more friction.
But Taeyong withdraws his fingers and slaps your ass.
“You’re being impatient, little mouse..”
“I’m-I’m sorry, please..I need you..” you beg.
Taeyong hums as he watches your essence run down your thighs and even to your pink knee highs.
Your arms begin to hurt from holding your body up.
Taeyong continues to play with your flower, pushing his fingers in and out while you’re at this new angle.
As you get closer, clenching around him as your legs tremble, he moves his fingers faster, creating a sinful sound with your body as your high pitched moans grow louder.
Taeyong takes his fingers out slowly just as you’re about to cum. He bites his lips as he watches your smooth skin become even more wet, essence running out of you like a flood.
He can’t take it anymore, he has to fuck you so he takes his arm from under you.
“You may go back now.”
He leaves the car and joins you in the backseat.
He immediately moves to the center of it and brings you over his waist.
You kneel over him and unbutton your shirt. Taeyongs eyes are glued to your dainty fingers revealing your chest to him.
“Taeyong… I want you so badly.” You moan out then lick your lips.
He looks delectable under you, his ruby red hair pushed back and his eyes low.
He unbuckles his belt and pulls his aching member out.
“Do you want my cock, little mouse?”
He leans his head back onto the head rest while he watches you unhook your bra in the back.
“Y-yes”
“Then you should take it, right?” He looks down and taps his dick against your thigh.
You nod and kneel directly over his delicious cock. You lower yourself onto him slowly, your hands gripping his shoulders as you cry out from the satisfaction of him finally being inside, filling you up completely.
“Good girl..” Taeyong whispers. He leans back and watches you bounce on him, your breasts jumping and your eyes shutting tightly.
You swivel your hips as his cock slides in and out of you, grinding into your tight, plush pussy.
Taeyong runs his hands along your thighs, pushing your skirt up your stomach so he can finally see you take his cock and cover it in shining slick.
The car is filled with grunts and moans as you ride him, you finally find the perfect spot, his dick curves into you and presses against it.
“Oh!! Taeyong, I’m going to..” you throw your head back, the bundle of knots slowly start to unravel. You move even faster.
“Mmmm..yes, sweetheart, I know..” Taeyong says smoothly before gripping your waist with both hands and picking you up off of him.
“Taeyong! No..please!” You cry out, once again you are so close, only to be shunned away from your release.
He turns you around and lowers you back onto him. He slams into you as he brings a hand to your neck. He presses his thumb and fingers into the side of it as you whimper.
Your legs spread more as Taeyong’s dick curves into you at a different but still satisfactory angle.
He squeezes his hand around your throat and buried himself into you deeper, using your body more like a sex doll as the camera records.
He thinks about how fucked out you looked right now, your mouth open, practically drooling and your hair messy. Your hands grabbing at your breasts and playing with your nipples. He knows he’ll watch this video later and enjoy watching you lose your innocence in the back of his car, he’ll enjoy the sight of each whimper falling from your pretty mouth and your skirt riding up as you kneel over him in cute knee highs.
He then uses his other hand and rubs his fingertips into your clit.
You gasp as your eyes open. You clench around him without control now.
His hips snap into you harder and his hand tightens around your neck. “I'm going to cum in you, sweetheart, going to fill you so well with my cum. Is that what you want?” He growls in your ear. He can just imagine how beautiful you’d looked with swollen breasts during a pregnancy, the glow of your skin and full cheeks as you carry his babies. Somehow, you’d be even prettier.
He draws circles into your clit even harder, your pussy becoming consumed by him as he combines it with his tip rubbing against your sweet spot with every push.
“Ahh! Taeyong!” You scream his name out. “Yes! Yes!”
“I’m going to push it so deep into your fertile pussy, breed you and make you mine forever, would you like that?”
“Yes! Yes, Taeyong, I want you” your head falls back over his shoulders releasing onto him as his dirty words echo in your mind.
Your body shakes as he releases into you as well, keeping his promise and cumming into your depths as he holds you fast against him.
His fingers push into your mouth. You close your eyes and suck them clean as your movement onto his cock slows.
He slides out of your opening a few more times, making sure that not one bit of his cum escapes you.
He kisses your neck. “You did so well, little mouse. I’m so happy you’re mine.”
———
[A Few Days Later]
You studied in the library with Jaehyun, focusing on your papers and last minute research before you went home—to Taeyong’s place to sleep. There was barely anyone on your floor in the library, so you figured no one could watch you and Jaehyun there.
Living with Taeyong was definitely different from living with your family, but you didn’t mind it. Taeyong usually stayed out late, but when he did come home, he’d cuddle you and make sure that you’re okay.
You’d watch movies together and enjoy take out every now and then. Other than feeling like you were being watched 24/7, life with Taeyong wasn’t that bad.
“Do you need me to read over your paper?” Jaehyun leaned over to you.
You look up from your laptop and stop typing.
“Hmmm that’s a good idea. Thank you! And I’ll read over yours.”
Jaehyun smiles as you switch laptops.
“Jaehyun? What is this?” You’re confused as you only see a blank page on his laptop.
“Oh, I’m sorry about that..just scroll down.”
He watches you scroll down the page.
But there’s only one sentence in the middle of it.
Y/n, will you see a movie with me after finals?
You smile widely and look up at him.
He blushes. “Keep scrolling.”
Pros of dating me:
Hand holder
Top tier hugs
Tall
Dimples
Good cook
Can and will make you laugh
Cons of dating me:
I might pass gas if I laugh too hard
None :)
You giggle after reading the last sentence. You wished so badly that you could date Jaehyun. He was caring, sweet, a devout Christian, and yes, unbelievably handsome. But the timing was bad. You loved Taeyong, you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.
And so, your smile faded as reality set in.
You clear your throat. “Jaehyun..I wish I could..you’re an amazing guy, but..”
“Was it the passing gas part?” Jaehyun’s brows furrow.
“No!” You chuckle. “No, it’s not that at all.its just..I’m seeing someone right now..”
“Oh.” He nods slowly, the corners of his mouth slowly fall and his dimples no longer show.
“I’m sorry, Jaehyun.”
He smiles brightly again. “It’s okay! I thought I’d ask, I really like spending time with you, but I completely understand..let’s focus on finals then.”
You nod.
—————
[The Next Day]
Taeyong picks you up from class, but doesn’t take you home.
“Where are we going?” You look at the side of Taeyong’s face, he looks especially striking with the light from the red stop sign on his face, his strong cheekbones peeking through. His eyes are intense, but your attention goes from his hands gripping the steering wheel to his biceps flexing as he turns the car, and from his thighs in his black skinny jeans then to his button down silk shirt with three loose buttons.
You bite your lips as your mind runs wild with thoughts of him on you.
“We’re going to do something very fun tonight. Think of it as a...couple game! In the end, we’ll be closer than we’ve ever been.” Taeyong says excitedly.
“That sounds fun.” You smile.
But you slowly came to the realization that this would be an interesting night as you approached a gloomy and daunting warehouse.
“Taeyong..what is this?” You ask as he puts the vehicle in park.
“Come on. You’ll understand once we get inside.”
It’s just the two of you inside the dark box. Taeyong pulls a chain that makes bright led lights turn on above you. When you look around you large cases and tables all around. It didn’t feel like you were about to play a game there.
You hear a muffled scream and shuffling.
“What was that?” Your eyes grow as you recognize the sound of a man in distress.
“Ah..yes, our contestant..”
Taeyong takes your hand and leads you to the corner of the room.
“Contestant?”
You stumble behind him as he walks fast.
You see a camera on a tripod, and as you get closer, you see that it is set a few feet in front of a man tied to a chair with a black bag over his face.
His body is completely tied to the chair with rope wrapping around his midsection and legs.
His hands are bound together on rest on his lap.
The man screeches as he hears the two of you step closer to him.
“Taeyong?! What have you done?” You turn to him and begin to panic. You prayed that it wasn’t Jaehyun.
“I have a surprise for you, little mouse.”
You always dreaded Taeyong’s surprises.
He goes behind the man and tears the bag off.
A breath leaves your body when you recognize the man, even with bruised eyes and a bloody, swollen lip. A rag is over his mouth to quiet him.
“Ta da! You didn’t think I’d let this bastard get away with what he did to you, right?”
Your mouth falls open. “Taeyong..no..I don’t want this.”
You watch Professor Li’s eyes widen once he recognizes you. He cries harder and louder, his shrieks so bone chilling, you cringe.
Taeyong laughs out. “Of course you do!”
He bends down and places his head into the crook of the professor’s shoulder.
“He treated yourself like shit, then touched you inappropriately...don’t you want him to suffer?”
Taeyong smiles wickedly.
“N-no..I..I don’t know.” Once again you found yourself questioning everything you had learned. Does everyone deserve forgiveness?
“You do know, little mouse. That fury in your veins, that tingling in your body that makes you want to choke this bastard till he can no longer breathe...embrace it. Don’t hold back.”
You look away.
Taeyong begins to grow impatient. “He’s an asshole, what if he goes after another girl in his class? Don’t you wonder how many women he’s fucked just so he can give them a passing grade?”
You close your eyes tightly and feel tears fall on your cheek.
Taeyong stands up straight and walks over to you.
He cups your face.
“Little mouse, you always ask me if I trust you...if you do this for me, if you prove that you will kill anyone that touches you because they’re not me..then I will trust you.”
Your eyes open. You can’t explain this need to please Taeyong, but when you look into his mahogany eyes, you feel a fire start in your chest.
You nod slowly. “I—I want you to trust me, Taeyong, but I don’t know if I can do this.”
Taeyong smiles slyly. “I know you can’t, that’s why we’ll do it together.”
He takes your hand and leads you over to a table with all sorts of weapons laid out.
Professor Li squirms in his seat and cries out so hard, he begins to cough.
He begs for this to end, to be released. You think about Taeyong’s words.
Taeyong picks up a large and intimidating hedge shears.
He hands it to you.
“I’m going to hold his dirty hands up, I want you to open and close this like they’re scissors. We are cutting the evil away from this world.” Taeyong smiles softly.
The professor is a tyrant and uses his status to lure girls in. He’s disgusting and the world would be a better place without him. You said this to yourself over and over, trying to convince yourself that what you’re about to do is justifiable.
You stand to one side of him while Taeyong stands across from you and on his other side.
The professor still tries to get out of the chair, but he’s bound so tightly, his efforts are in vain.
Taeyong grabs his elbows, straightening out his tied arms up and in front of him. You open the trimmers and position them around his wrists.
Taeyong’s smile grows. “Just like that, sweetheart. Now, snip snip.”
You look at his trembling hands in front of you, ignoring his tears and snot nose as the memories of him gripping your waist and pulling him onto you flood in. You remembered the intense discomfort, the slight panic before Taeyong saved you. You knew you didn’t want anyone else to experience it.
You pressed the handles together and SHRING.
His bound hands fly to the floor, blood splatters across your face as well as Taeyong’s.
Taeyong laughs loudly as the old man screams out in pain. Blood gushes from his exposed tendons and tissue. You nearly throw up at the sight and drop the shears.
You back away and look in horror as you finally see clearly what you have done.
“T-Taeyong..” you pant.
“You did so well, little mouse..” Taeyong steps towards you and holds your hands.
The professor passes out from blood loss,his head hangs low.
“I-I killed him?” You sob.
“Yes..you did, now he can’t hurt anyone else.”
“But Taeyong..I..” your hands shake. Taeyong pulls them to his face and kisses them.
“Shhhh...it’s okay, I trust you, all that matters is you and me now.”
You nod slowly.
Taeyong pulls you closer to him. He holds your face in his hands and kisses you deeply. You’re both covered in blood, but it feels so good to hold each other.
Your heart rumbles and your eyes close, you enjoy the touch of Taeyongs heavenly fingers on the small of your back.
Taeyong is so turned on by you finally proving your loyalty to him. You killed someone even while looking like an innocent angel. It was beautiful, you are beautiful.
Taeyong is electrifying, each kiss sends sparks throughout your veins. The adrenaline still pumps through you as you collapse into him and groan. His lips taste like the sweetest cherry, but he smells like blackberries.
You can’t take it anymore, you need him on you, rubbing his hands all over you as you make love. You pull your shirt over your head and look into his eyes.
“Fuck me..”
Taeyong smirks and rubs his bloody hands over your chest slowly, pushing your breasts together and pinching your nipples.
You moan out into the empty warehouse as he watches your smooth skin become nasty with blood. Your neck smeared with splattered markings.
Taeyong pushes you into the wall, spinning you around so his chest is on your back.
He gets on his knees and pulls your skirt down at a painfully slow rate.
“Taeyong..please.” You cry out as you step out of it.
He only gets out a low and husky laugh as he places his hands onto your butt cheeks and massages them.
He separates them carefully while staring at your essence dripping from your folds.
He licks his lips then licks onto the slit slowly.
You whimper and push your butt out to him more. He grabs your ankles and licks again, only this time, pushing the tip of his tongue in harder to brush it against your clit.
You yelp while grabbing your breasts and playing with your nipples.
“You’re so hot, sweetheart.”
Taeyong lays his tongue out flat again, going in deeper and flexing his tongue.
On instinct, you grind against his face, praying that he goes a little faster because you’re so close from his teasing, you could cry.
“Taeyong!! Please don’t stop!” You gasp and move faster.
He flips you around by placing his hands on your waist.
“Use me, little mouse.”
He sticks his tongue out then buries his face in between your legs once more, only this time, he maintains eye contact with you. His devilish eyes watching your shining, blood covered breasts and the way you bite your lips.
He moves slowly, but you grab his hair and grind down onto his mouth. He flexes his tongue and pushes it in as deep as possible.
“Ahh! Taeyong..fuck..”
Hearing you curse is all he needs to hear, his boner straining and flinching against his tight jeans.
You move your hips faster and ride his face as he watches you above him, you can only feel that feeling in your stomach, that release that you’re so close to while looking into his low eyes.
Your clit brushes against his nose over and over, he hums to send vibrations through your core.
Your pussy clenches and your grip on his hair tightened, but Taeyong continues to explore every part of you with his tantalizing tongue.
“Taeyong..fuck..oh my god.” Your hips stop moving and your body weakens, but Taeyong quickly stands and takes your hand.
He takes you with him to the table and brushes off all of the weapons that were on it before.
He presses you down onto the table with his chest on your back again then zips his pants and lets his cock loose. He doesn’t give you time to adjust as he slides his needy cock into your soaking flower.
He brings your ass to his hips and groans.
“Ahhh..my nasty girl.” His hoarse voice enters your ear.
He snaps into you harder, lewd sounds of his cock gliding into your wet pussy fill the room.
He presses his hand into the small of your back.
You whimper. “Harder, Taeyong..”
“Oh? Greedy, now aren’t we?”
Taeyong brings your ass back onto him so hard, you feel the breath leave your body. You cry out his name as he does it again.
His cock fills you up perfectly, grinding against your velvety walls even as they tremble.
Taeyong pulls out then flips you over.
He wants to see just how well you take him because it just feels so good.
He groans as you spread your legs across the table for him to see your drenched pussy aching for him.
You run your hands down your body and lick your lips. “Please..Taeyong...I’m so wet for you..”
Taeyong holds you by the crook of your knees and pushes into you again, watching as your right opening somehow molds itself around his cock, coating it in your delicious juices.
You bite your lips to hold back a moan while you watch Taeyong bury himself into you. He would’ve sucked your gorgeous tits like he always does but this time he just wants to watch himself fuck into you, he wants to see you become filled with nothing but him.
He grips your legs hard and moves faster, his movement blurring as he chases after his high.
The added stimulation of his new speed makes you clench uncontrollably. You throw your head back and welcome another orgasm just as Taeyong welcomes his. This time, he doesn’t pull out, he thrusts into you one final time and coats your walls with strings of cum.
Your groans and moans mesh with each other and fill the room.
Taeyong pulls out of you and taps his cock against your clit. You moan and flinch at the overwhelming stimulation.
He leans down and kisses your lips as he teases your sensitive opening.
You whine and move your hips against his cock. It is only somewhat limp and even though you’ve just cum, you still want more.
You press onto his chest lightly to stop the kiss. You look into his eyes.
He chuckles. “What? Do you still want more?”
“Yes..” you bite your lips and look at him with wide, innocent eyes, making his heart shutter.
He sits on a chair adjacent to the table and right beside the professor’s dead body.
“Come here, little mouse.” He pats his lap.
You lower yourself onto him and slowly rock back and forth until you feel him grow inside you.
Ecstasy floods throughout your bodies all night as you make love. You pay no attention to the dead man in the room or your bodies covered in blood.
You even forgot about the camera with the beeping red light.
————
[Two Days Later]
Taeyong had just dropped you off at class when he decided to sneak into your parents house. He knew your father would be home and in his office and he also knew that with some bribing, his security guards would easily let him in without notifying him.
Your father plopped himself into his seat, placing his glass of whiskey beside his notepad on the desk, never realizing the figure in the corner of the room.
Taeyong watches as your father opened up his laptop to see nothing but a black screen.
“What the-“ he mumbles and looks over his glasses onto his keyboard. “God damn technology..”
Taeyong clicks the small clicker in his hand to play the video on your father's laptop.
You father squints and looks closely He jumps once the video starts playing.
‘Just like that sweetheart, now snip snip’
He recognizes the voice in the video.
His eyes enlarge.
“What in the-“
He tries to pause the video but he can’t, only Taeyong has control.
“Oh..God.” He sits back in his chair when he sees you. his beloved daughter, cute the hands off of a man.
He continues watching as his eyes brim with tears.
He sees the man pass out then you tearing your shirt off. He turns away from the screen and sobs.
“My daughter...my poor daughter.”
“You should be proud of her..”
Taeyong steps out from the corner.
Your father jumps in his seat and grabs his letter opener. “Who’s there?”
“It’s your son-in-law, I knew you’d be thrilled to see me.”
Your father sits back in his chair and looks at Taeyong through eyes of pure hatred.
“what have you done to her?”
“I’ve only allowed her to be her true self. You should be so worried.” Taeyong sits down across from him.
“Yeah..she killed someone, but hey, if you knew the guy, you’d probably kill him too.” He shrugs.
“I will bring you down, Taeyong. And I’ll get my daughter back. You have turned her into a monster like you!”
Taeyong shakes his head. “Oh, you fool, don’t you see that’s why I’m here? To let you know that that can’t and will never happen. Why? Well, if I go down, your daughter goes down too.”
Your father brows furrow.
“Who yielded the weapon, pastor?”
He stays silent and grits his teeth
“Oh, but here’s a better question, where IS the weapon?”
Your father sighs. “I hope you endure nothing but pain and suffering when she finally leaves you!” He grumbles out.
“Ah, is it buried somewhere on this 32 acre land you’ve got here?” Taeyong places a finger or his chin and begins to laugh.
“Ah, yes that’s right, it’s buried here somewhere, in the lawn of the man that knew about the crime because he just watched the video. Was the killer’s father the one that hid it to protect her? Oh no!” Taeyong fakes surprise.
“Do You follow me? It’s a chain reaction, father. I go down, your baby goes down, then you go down as an accessory to the crime.”
Taeyong stands up and brushes his jacket off. “It’s a pity that whatever you and that detective has planned for me will never work. That pathetic attempt you made at getting me locked up for life showed me everything I need to see, and now, I won’t hold back…”
He leans forward and places both hands on the desk. “I am the grim reaper, after all.”
“Fuck you, you can’t threaten me!”
Taeyong laughs and leaves the room.
———-
[A Week Later]
With finals over you rarely saw your friends, you didn’t even message Jaehyun because you suspected that your messages were being tracked.
You couldn’t take the risk.
Jaehyun, on the other hand, grew worried for you. He asked your friends but no one claimed they had seen or even spoke to you. Just like him, they always got your voicemail when they called.
He went to your father and begged to see you, but that’s when he learned that you no longer stayed there.
When he asked where you were, your father hesitantly told him about Taeyong’s apartment complex because he wouldn’t stop pushing.
He warned him and even told him that Taeyong was a gang leader, but Jaehyun wouldn’t listen. He wanted to save you. The marks on your wrist made him worried and he knew you needed help before it was too late.
He went to the complex and snuck around, hoping not to be seen by anyone. He waited in his car to see if you’d leave at some point. Once he spotted you, he would call out to you and have you jump in his car. He’d speed off with you to get away from this place.
The upper-class and bougie complex was really quiet. It didn’t seem like many people lived there, but there was an eerie aura that Jaehyun couldn’t ignore.
He waited all night for you in his car, but never saw you. He didn’t see anything to be exact. Well, not until a red-haired man and several other guys in black left. They drove off on their motorcycles with the red haired guy leading in front.
Jaehyun quickly unbuckled his seat belt and jumped out of his car he snuck in through a door that hadn’t been shut all the way. He got onto the elevator and took it to the top floor where Taeyong’s supposed penthouse was.
Once he got to the door with the apartment number, he rang the doorbell and looked around nervously.
You looked at the screen that showed you a real-time video of your doorstep and nearly screamed when you saw Jaehyun. You quickly opened the door.
“Jaehyun! You can’t be here! You have to leave!”
You shook your head.
“I just wanted to know if you were okay! I haven’t heard from you in days-“
“Yes! Yes I’m fine but you have to leave!”
“No, you’re not fine. You’ve been kidnapped by a gang leader. Come with me and we’ll go far away! You’ll be safe.”
You gave him a look of confusion. “What? I don’t need to be saved, Jaehyun. I like it here, and I haven’t been kidnapped, who told you that?”
“I don’t need anyone to tell me, y/n! The fact that you’ve been locked up here all night and have your phones turned off tells me that he’s controlling you! He’s taken over your life and you need to get out from under his grasp.” Jaehyun’s eyes search yours, quietly pleading for you to take his hand and run away with him.
“Jaehyun...you have no idea what you’re talking about…” you sigh. “We love each other, okay?”
“But y/n..”
“Just leave! I don’t want to be with you!” You shut your eyes tightly. Jaehyun has been so kind to you, but you felt conflicted with his words. Was he just a product of your old life that you needed to leave behind? Or did he have a point?
He steps back and nods.
“I’m..I’m sorry”
“Jaehyun..” you start to apologize but he walks away swiftly, holding his head low.
You shut the door and lean against it as his words played in your mind.
Jaehyun turned the corner and was about to head for the elevator when he saw another man walking towards it. The man dressed in all black like the other men he saw downstairs. Jaehyun holds his head down and takes the stairs instead.
Jaehyun jogs down the stairs, and about 7 flights down, he bumps into a group of intimidating men.
They smoke cigarettes in between their tattooed fingers and all turn to him.
“Uh..excuse me..”
Jaehyun moves through a small space created for him to pass through, but his heart races. These men looked like gang members, he wondered if he could get out without being noticed.
He runs down the stairs even faster, he gets to the bottom floor, turning the corner to leave. He’s met with the tall man with a broad chest. He collides into him full speed, but the man doesn’t budge. Jaehyun falls back.
“Jaehyun...leaving so soon?” The man says lowly.
Jaehyun looks up slowly, then attempts to bolt in the other direction, but the man wraps his arms around him and pulls him back. He places a towel coated in chloroform over his mouth.
Jaehyun’s vision becomes blurry, he eventually passes out and stops struggling against the man.
————
[The Next Night]
You lay your head on Taeyong’s lap while you watch a movie together. Your mind is preoccupied, however, you think about what Jaehyun said. Was Taeyong too controlling?
“What are you thinking about?” His deep voice lets out.
“Nothing..”
“I trust you to be honest with me, little mouse.” Taeyong massages your scalp.
“Of course…” you answer softly and close your eyes, his long fingers feel good.
“So tell me..who is Jaehyun?”
Your eyes open and you pick yourself up from his lap.
He grips your chin inbetween his thumb and index finger. “I’ll give you one chance to answer me honestly.”
“He-He’s just a friend..we had a class together and studied together sometimes..” you try to play it off coolly but deep down you panic. How did Taeyong know about him?
“So why did I find this on his dresser?”
Taeyong reaches beside him and dangles your gold cross necklace in your face. You forgot that you had left it at his place.
“I-I must’ve lost it in class.”
“That’s not what Jaehyun says..” Taeyong’s eyes grow angry, he gritts his teeth as he lets your chin go.
“J-Jaehyun? Where is he?”
“Is this who you ran off to? Is this your “cousin?”
Taeyong stands up from the couch.
“No! No, Taeyong, please believe me. I didn’t stay with him!”
“But he says you did, and I found your necklace earlier today, so are you lying to me?!”
Your mouth is agape, you weren’t sure what to say, do you tell Taeyong the truth or lie again? Either way he’d be upset.
He huffs. “I can’t believe this..” he pulls out his phone and dials someone up.
“Bring him in!”
“Okay. Yes I stayed with him, but we didn’t do anything! He was just helping me! I swear!” You cry uncontrollably.
The door clicks open and someone throws Jaehyun inside. His throat is red and bruised with what looks to be a chain pattern.
His hands are tied but he yells as he falls on the floor in the center of the room.
“Do you love him?” Taeyong tilts his head and watches your face, waiting for any slight indication that you are attached to him.
“N-no I dont, I promise he means nothing to me, just let him go!”
You sob.
Jaehyun looks hurt by your words but says nothing, he looks up at Taeyong.
“He means nothing to you? So if I kill him, will it hurt you, make you sad?” Taeyong pouts.
“Taeyong! Please don’t do this again.” You reach out to him, but he steps back.
“Why are you crying so much if you don’t love him?”
You don’t have an answer.
Taeyong is disappointed, he trusted you, he thought you only loved him, but your actions told him otherwise.
“He’s very pretty, I can see why you fucked him..”
“No! I didn’t, we never-“ you start.
“She’s telling the truth. We never did anything because she only thought about you.” Jaehyun finally lets out.
Taeyong nods. “That’s nice to hear, but I don’t like that you are pretty, Jaehyun. I’ll let you live, but I think we should rough you up a little..”
Taeyong looks up at Johnny and nods. Johnny and Jungwoo each take Jaehyun’s arm and hoist him up. They hold him still as Taeyong flicks his Swedish blade open.
“You came here for her, didn’t you?”
Jaehyun grunts, he breathes heavily through his nostrils.
“Well, I’m going to give you something that will remind you of me every day..when you look in the mirror, you’ll remember how badly you fucked up.”
Taeyong smiles.
“Taeyong, please!” You beg one final time c but he ignored you.
“Y/n, it’s okay, I should’ve listened to you from the first time you said no. I shouldn’t have come here, this isn’t your fault!” Jaehyun cries out.
Taeyong places the sharp blade into Jaehyuns forehead. Jaehyun’s screams make you cover your ears.
Taeyong’s wild eyes watch the sharp tip ruin the beautiful, soft skin of his forehead. Blood gushes out and runs all over Jaehyun’s face as Taeyong carves an X into it.
“No!!!” Jaehyun pulls and tries time and time to move his head but the three men on him keep him still.
“Oh God! Taeyong!” You can’t help but sob heavily. You couldn’t believe this was happening again.
Taeyong throws the blade to the side and smiles as he adores his artwork.
The men let go of Jaehyun and let him fall to the floor.
You crawl to him and hold his face in your hands. Taeyong’s smile drops. You couldn’t possibly be touching and comforting another man.
“And so the truth comes out…” he growls.
“Jaehyun, I am so sorry.” You wipe tears from his eyes and hold him as he cries. Your hands shake as you look at the deep carving inflicted by Taeyong.
“It's okay, it’s not your fault.” Jaehyun’s voice is raspy and hoarse after all his screaming.
“Little mouse...if you wish to leave me...then go, just leave. I can’t take this heartbreak anymore. You’ve lied to me too many times.”
Taeyong sits down on the couch. He sighs and looks away.
“I’m sorry, Taeyong, but I really can’t do this anymore. You hurt anyone that gets close to me..”
“Because I love you..but I guess you do not love me too. I expect loyalty from you at the very least.”
“Taeyong, I-“
“Get out of my sight!” His voice raises.
You look at Taeyong then back at Jaehyun, he needed to get to a hospital immediately.
You quickly stood up and helped Jaehyun.
“I’m sorry..” you say one final time before taking Jaehyun’s hand and running out the apartment. You felt an uncertainty and a rush as you ran down the stairs. You were free from Taeyong but a part of you didn’t want that.
You pushed the exit door open. Jaehyun pointed out his car. “Over there.”
You grabbed his key from his hoodie pocket and helped him into his car. He was drifting in and out of consciousness so you would have to drive.
Meanwhile, Johnny watches from the window.
Taeyong stares at the floor while feeling heartbreak and disappointment.
“They’re about to leave, Taeyong, should we proceed?”
Taeyong sighs and thinks for a moment. Should he let you go and move on? Could he be without you forever?
No.
“’X’ marks the spot..” he says and a clicking sound echos into the apartment as a bullet is loaded into the barrel of Johnny’s sniper gun.
You help Jaehyun into the passenger seat and begin to walk around to the driver's side, but a sharp sound rings out into the night then a crash follows.
A bullet flies into the windshield and hits Jaehyun, causing his head to explode into a million pieces in the car. His brains and blood splatter all windows of the car.
Your mouth falls open, your eyes water, you become dizzy. The only thing you can do is stumble and walk backwards and away from the car.
No no no no, this can’t be happening.
You fall to your knees and let out a loud wail into the night as Taeyong heads for the elevator.
Your head falls into your hands as you sob. Another innocent person is killed..because of you.
You feel Taeyong’s cold fingers grip your shoulder. Your face still in your hands while you cry uncontrollably. He’s done it again.
“I told you I’d never let you go, little mouse. You can run and hide, but you’ll always fall into my trap.”
And It’s then that you realize, you truly are stuck with Taeyong—forever.
#nct 127#nct#taeyong#nct taeyong#nct 127 taeyong#nct smut#taeyong smut#taeyong x you#taeyong x reader#taeyong imagine#lee taeyong#nct au#nct mafia au#taeyong scenarios#nct gang au#nct imagine#nct scenarios#nct romance#nct boyfriend#nct moodboard#nct yandere#kpop smut#kpop reactions#kpop ff#nct fanfiction#nct fic#nct roleplay#nct angst#nct series#taeyong au
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A true story about rehab from 2007
Names and places changed, dates slightly fuzzy, yada yada
This all starts with Chris. Chris might be a good example of how things are objectively broken.
Two summers ago, Chris and his girlfriend moved from everyone's old hometown, Alton, to everyone's current home, Garden City. I had known Chris briefly when I still lived in Alton, which was up until about 8 years ago. In high school he was friends with my sister, a year behind her, I think, only he had some legal trouble and didn't graduate until two years after her. The first arrest came during his junior year, when police found some marijuana in his car while he was in class. "Apparently Alton is a utopia," he said years later. "No robberies need solving, no cars need ticketing, no fences need mending, fuckit nobody's house must've been dirty because if there was anything else even remotely worthwhile that those cocksuckers could have been doing they wouldn't have taken a drug dog through the high school parking lot."
The ironic part was that he was, honest-to-god, holding it for a friend. Hadn't touched the stuff until then, hadn't even drank more than a beer or two. Cops came in and pulled him out of class. Cuffed him right there in class, in front of everybody. From what I've been able to piece together that marked a very strong loss of innocence for young Chris. No rules were worth following, after all, if The Bastards could punish you for nothing. This was greatly exacerbated by the fact that, according to several of the best lawyers Alton had to offer, the search of Chris' car was unconstitutional as it was not actually parked in the school parking lot, or even on school grounds, at the time of the search. The juvenile court judge would hear none of it though—all the police had done was break Chris' constitutional right to privacy. He had committed the much greater crime of having an eighth ounce of marijuana in his glove compartment.
His claim of having his rights violated incensed the judge, who sentenced our poor Chris to 72 hours in county jail and 12 weeks of rehab. Were it not for his successful, stable family, he would have been sent to juvie.
It was his first offense. He was 16.
Jail, he said, wasn't that bad. He got to do it over a weekend. The guard was an old lady and even though she was kind of a bitch she let him bring in his homework. She said she was surprised to see someone his age in here, with the adults, but whatever he had done it must have been pretty bad or else he wouldn't be here, would he? They kept him away from the drunks at night and the only other people who came into the "pen" (his word, not mine) were guys who got bailed out within a couple of hours and were too pissed off about their own bad luck to give him any shit for his.
What really fucked with him was rehab. It didn’t matter that he'd never smoked a single joint (or even a cigarette) at this time: he was an addict and by gum he had to admit to being an addict before the obese, shit-smelling overseer would sign the form saying that Chris had attended his sessions. Every weekend for three months he was legally forced to lie. Yes, he said, he was an addict. Yes, even though it made no sense in any grammatical or even symbolic context, he was forced to say "my name is Chris and I'm a narcotic." His personal habits were picked apart—why was his hair so long (it wasn't that long, really)? Why did he wear the same pants on Sunday that he wore on Saturday? Who were these "Dead Milkmen" that his T-shirt spoke of? Ohh… and surely this is a good-tempered, Christian punk band, right? No? Well you see right there that's a part of the problem. Have your mother sign a note saying you've thrown out all of their CDs and any other enabling you might own. No—you can't sell them, you must throw them out.
"We had to go in a day and a half every weekend. All day Saturday and then Sunday from noon until 4. It took me five weeks, when I was starting to get comfortable, before I asked if I could come in Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday. It worked out better for me that way, since the place where I worked wasn't open Sundays. The fat guy just opened his mouth and would not close it. 'When would you go to church?' he said. By then I knew enough to laugh and say 'oh yeah what was I thinking.'"
A few of the people had actual problems. One guy got caught with meth, was beating the shit out of his wife and his two little girls, and seemed genuinely remorseful. Another guy had to drink a sixer every morning or else he'd get the shakes so bad he wouldn't be able to drive to work. But most of the people there were more or less normal and had either fucked up once or else been fucked over once—got into a bar fight while legally drunk, blew .02 over the legal limit at a roadblock, smoked pot once every few weeks and got narced on by a snitch, that kind of stuff. These people were split over how much they believed the bullshit they were being fed. Those who believed, as the official literature did, that being hungover once in your lifetime or ever drinking more than 4 beers in a sitting two or more times in a month are both signs of hardcore alcoholism, they became repentant and preachy.
One such lady was a thin, tan, well-dressed soccer mom who would snitch on the others when they didn't pay close enough attention to the instructional videos or else would appear in any way to not be taking things seriously enough. If you were bad you got demerits, credit card-sized pieces of construction paper upon which frowny faces and intimidating biblical verses were printed. The overseer would also scribble something down in his notebook, which must have had some kind of official weight because it was on his person at all times.
Most people have an innate desire, however illogical it might often be, to please authority figures, and so Chris and the rest of the doubtful "addicts" thought the embarrassment of getting their reprimand literally handed to them was punishment enough for resting their eyes or letting a stray giggle break loose when the acting in an informational film was especially bad. Chris made only one such mistake. During a lecture, the overseer kept making the point that it wasn't the drugs that people get addicted to—oh no, it's the high that keeps you coming back. Chris smiled—remember at this point he still probably hadn't ever been high, not in his whole life—because it seemed like such a stupid, nonsensical thing to say, because even though he was only 16 he could appreciate moments like this, when the moronic essence of a big, scary process could concentrate itself into a single sentence.
"It's not the drugs: it's the high," the man said. He was very clean shaven, dressed like a detective in a 70s cop show, his hair was combed so straight it was like wire, his glasses were round and cruel looking and he had this, this look on his face, this air about him like he thought he was a genius. He nodded a little bit after the repetition of his idiotic point. Proud—he was actually proud of the things he was saying, proud of his position, proud of getting to fill the heads of desperate or else unfortunate people with nonsense. And this made Chris smile—not laugh, just smile, and the soccer mom pulled on his ear really hard, so hard it made his eyes water, and then she raised her hand to snitch on him. The proud overseer was still proud, looked like a king in an old movie, and with the most serious air Chris had ever seen, the fat man called him up before the entire room. His eyes were still watery from the shock of having his ear nearly yanked up and so he looked down, towards the ground, so people wouldn't think he was crying.
"You ashamed of something," the fat overseer asked. Chris didn't say anything. "Look up," said the overseer. Chris kept looking down. His chest moved in and out heavily and his fists were clenched, and he wasn't sure but he may have been crying normal tears by this point, but they were out of rage, not sadness. Or—no…really what's the difference between those two, and it's impossible that the immense hopelessness of his situation and the utter retardation of his surroundings hadn't saddened somewhat. If it were just rage making him cry then he would have also lashed out, punched the overseer or at least called him a name. No. No, the hopelessness must have stung enough to make him sad. But his tears were out of rage primarily, and out of nothing even close to shame.
"Look up. Now."
He did. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were tightened into red little slits but he looked more defeated than mean, more helpless than threatening.
"I want you all to look at this face. Soak it up. Take it all in. Done? Give you another second. Okay, now you're done. This, people, is what failure looks like. Some of you will see it again, right here. This is what it looks like when you don't take yourself seriously, when you don't care enough about yourself to appreciate the chances that are being given to you."
He extended a demerit card towards the Chris’ face. It was accepted without a whimper.
Weeks later, it came time for Chris and the gang to "graduate" from their classes. By this point, Chris had gotten drunk several times (even puked, once) and tried to smoke pot a few times but it hadn't done anything to him. Maybe he was just too drunk to feel it or he wasn't inhaling right, who knows. Anyhow he figured a few bong hits wouldn't hurt before he had to show up to the ceremony, right, since he hadn't felt anything yet. And, man, it was a blast because he was high as a fucking kite at the graduation, must have shoved 20 inches worth of the party sub into his mouth and downed at least 7 flutes of sparkling grape juice.
His mother and stepfather—both stinking rich, by the way, disheartened by the lad's sudden fall from grace and more than a little pleased to see him making such a fast and exemplary recovery with the aid of such a caring and competent program—were dressed to the nines. His mom was making time with the addicts. This was her wont, the irresistible, flirty friendliness that drove her from the dregs of society (Chris' biological father) all the way to where she was today. While this was going on, Stepfather gracefully let loose to the riffraff around him all those little signs that showed that he was a kind man, but of great consequence. He'd talk about sports while stretching him arm just so, just far enough to let his fancy watch fall into view. He'd offer to lift heavy objects as an excuse to show off his bed-made tan, his gym-toned arms and back. All of your jokes made him smile, but only just long enough for you to get a glimpse of his perfectly straight, snow white teeth. Both of them kept making their way over to Chris, who had stationed himself near the concessions table, to whisper into his ear how proud they were of him for pulling himself around and hint bluntly at him still receiving for his birthday a new car. All the while, through this bleary, more-or-less with it haze, feeling content and calm with his surroundings and his high, Chris kept thinking about how much he had it made. Everyone was a sucker, it seemed, but him. Really, wow. Everyone is stupid but me.
The soccer mom cut quickly around the room, stopping alongside each cluster of people and telling them that something important was about to happen, it was time for everyone to walk into the little classroom where they normally met. "You're not gonna want to miss this" she said, looking right into Chris with a mean little smile on her face that she knew would scare him. Oh god, Chris though, she knew that he was high. What was she in here for—ooh shit man, you've heard her talk about it 100 times. Vicodin, right. Vicodin and wine, passing out while one of her kids started a fire. That's right. Calm down. She wouldn't have known what someone looked like when he was high on pot. Mom and Stepfather couldn't even tell and they saw Chris every day. Calm down.
Chris shoved a few more bites of party sub into his mouth. His mom laughed and said "getting better must make you work up an appetite, huh?" Stepfather laughed. Chris couldn't say anything, not even by the time they had walked all the way into the classroom and sat down on little folding chairs, because there was so much sandwich in his mouth. Things began to quiet down within a couple of minutes. The overseer, smiling, poked his head out of his office and waved to the small crowd. People clapped a little bit. Chris noticed that "AWARDS RECEPTION" had been written on the blackboard with colored chalk, the letters alternating blue to red, blue to red. A stack of certificates sat on the table up front. The overseer waddled to the table and gestured towards his office and a large, black policeman walked from office to the entrance. He looked all business. There was another one who poked his head out from the office and then the overseer was still smiling, like the soccer mom he was wearing big, mean, fake smile and Chris sunk into his chair and moaned a little bit because he knew he was about to get arrested, again. Arrested in front of his parents.
Mom asked stepfather what the policemen were hear for the stepfather said—ahh the great rational bastard, it was all Chris could do to stop himself from hugging him—that since this was an official presentation, court mandated and all that, they must have some cops come and witness it. That's all it was. Nothing to get too upset about. Still—gotta stay calm. If the cops took no notice of Chris then they wouldn't take any notice of his being so incredibly fucking high.
"Well," the overseer began. Chris was hyperobservant and noncritical and he realized for the first time how long it took the overseer to get through sentences, because of all of his fat. He'd pause every few words and take in a deep breath from his gut. When he spoke it was in these bursts that were effeminately condescending but still bulky and powerful. Like, if being told you were bad by a sharp-tongued gay man didn't hurt you then maybe being yelled at by an abusive gym coach would. Only he wasn't a gym coach and probably wasn't gay, either. Talked about his wife and kids all the time. This was an act. He had measured out this persona for himself. This was some kind of cruel professionalism.
Jesus, Chris thought to himself. Pot fucks up the way you think about things. How long had it been since they sat down? How long since he'd been scared by the cops? When was the guy going to start talking—ohh, wait he's already talking. Might want to listen:
"And this is what this program is supposed to achieve: smiling faces. Not just the smiling faces of those who are on roads to recovery—their own personal roads—but of their families and their friends. The selfishness might end here. The pain they have caused you, that they are sorry for, might end here. But it's up to everyone here to make sure that all of these faces keep smiling."
He paused—too long. Wanted people to clap for him. They did. Then they finished. He continued. His tone was different. He had sounded like he was reading off a card. Now he sounded more like he normally did, during classes.
"But it would be… hypocritical of me to let everyone who came here leave here, especially… if I knew that they would be making people start… to cry sometime soon. Two of our friends will not be graduating today."
Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
"The first… Rup-ERT Donwiddle."
Ahh. Okay. That guy—white guy, lots of scars—never even showed up after the first day. He wasn't even here. Chris sunk his head into his lap, like he was stretching or about to puke, while the overseer mumbled about how Rubert had squandered his chance for recovery and blah blah blah.
"Rufus failed… due to lack of initiative. He didn't come. But every time we have this course, it seems… there is someone who does come… but who shows such disrespect that he might as well not have"
The overseer's tone changed, again, abruptly but not in a way that seemed unplanned. He was talking somewhere in between the rehearsed tone he'd used earlier and the mumbling, jumbled tone he used during regular meetings. The air shifted around Chris. It felt like strategy, men moving into position in order to accomplish some kind of task or anticipate some kind of resistance. The bigger cop stood by the door that led to the outside, blocking it. Meanwhile the guys who had missed the most class and been handed the most demerits began to shift in their seats a little bit while their wives looked at them in white fear, the sterile blank walls felt like they were closing in—that's what expression actually meant, when it actually feels like the room you are in just got smaller, more oppressive—and the big fat fuck who ran the place worse the biggest fatfuck smile Chris had ever seen and he if had dropped dead of a heart attack no one with a mind or soul would have gotten up to help him. In spite of all of this, the synchronization was such that Chris couldn't work up any fear. He was too busy admiring the evil of the whole process.
Chris took to talking to the soccer mom, a few months later, as part of some revenge scheme that never quite materialized. He had first planned on sleeping with the woman and ruining her marriage. When that didn’t work out he thought about maybe figuring out the vulnerabilities of her home and passing that knowledge on to some unseemly sorts who, god willing, would have raped, robbed, and kill her. He didn't do that, though, for the same reason he didn't speak up during the meeting when the police were blocking off the door and overseer was smiling the very worst smile the world had ever seen: because the woman's evil was so immense that he could barely process it, could do little else, in fact, aside from sitting back and admiring it. What he learned from her, after she had opened up to him and filled him on all the details, was that if you didn't pass the rehab course it counted as either a violation of your parole or else as a violation of your court sentence, so your failure was akin to skipping bail trying to escape from prison. That's to say it was a Very Serious offense, one that could put you in prison for a long, long time. And what the overseer hadn't told to anybody but the soccer mom, who was his favorite, was that his policy was that out of every class there had to be at least one addict who failed to pass in spite of showing up, one person who because of this or that reason simply did not deserve to consider his or her self cured of their addiction. That's what the demerits were for. Whoever got the most failed the course. You couldn't tell the whole class about this since then the people who got the most demerits early on would have stopped coming all together. On top of that, if you got into a situation where a few weeks in one guy had racked up 20 or 30 demerits, then that more or less lightens the stakes for everyone else. They'll start mouthing off or falling asleep since they know they'll never make up enough demerits to catch the worst guy, and then by the end of it you'd have been better off not doing any sort of demerit system at all. No—no, the trick was to keep it a surprise. That had two positives: one, you catch the guy by surprise and make sure he gets what's coming to him. Two, you put the fear of god into the others who are all sitting around watching. That's when they got taught what happens if you don't respect the things you should.
All Chris knew at the time of meeting was that the balding factory worker, Hank was his name, was getting pulled up really unnecessarily roughly by the cop, had his arms thrown behind his back, and was getting cuffed and pushed out of the room while his teenage daughter was screaming in abject terror and his wife was burying her head in her hands and then the two women sat there while the smiling overseer berated Hank, talked about how he needed to learn how to accept help and how this was for the good of him and his family and You two ladies should stop crying, it's pointless, what you need right now is strength, loyalty, and conviction. Hank had blown .02 over the legal limit at a road block. He insisted he hadn't had a drop to drink in months, not since his first DUI, that he couldn't perform the heel-to-toe sobriety test successfully because of a fully documented injury he had sustained during Desert Storm and that the alcohol on his breath—which came up on only one of the 5 breathalyzers he was given—must have been from gum or mouthwash or cologne or something. His parole was zero tolerance, though, and so he found himself at the meetings. Every week he told the overseer that something he had said was bullshit. He wouldn't say "My name is Hank and I'm a narcotic," he said, because that is just fucking stupid. He wouldn't apologize for hurting anybody because he hadn't hurt anybody. He wouldn't lie for the sake of lying because goddamn it that's not what this country is about.
And for that he went to prison.
Coming face-to-face with the reality of just how cruel and unfair the system is can, especially for a teenager, lead to a distrust so strong and all encompassing that it borders on despair. This distrust can, sometimes, be healthy and inspire you to try and change things. More often, it can grow into full-blown hatred, a maniacal desire to change things or to right wrongs that leads you to do something rash or destructive. Still more often, it leads to a sense of defeatism, a feeling that you can't win since the system is so fucked so why the hell should you even try. At least, that's what I gather from hearing Chris talk about it. That's probably what I would have done if something like that would have happened to me. I would have given up and failed.
And for the longest time Chris had given up and had failed. He drank and drugged and destroyed. This made him a blast to hang out with. This was when he still lived in Alton and I would see him once every few months, when I was at home visiting my family. My sister moved to Garden City to attend the university at which I now teach. Most of her friends soon followed suit. He was left behind. As I am self-absorbed to the point where I don't care about my friend's lives except for when their stories are particularly miserable or amusing, I don't know much about this time period except that it saw Chris turning things somewhat around. Not by much. He still drinks far too much. But he's in school now—he's at the school where I teach, actually, although I've never had him for a student.
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HYUCK IS ALWAYS RIGHT !
boss!mark x secretary!reader
tooth-rotting fluff
you had a crush on your boss.
it was super silly but could you resist it when he looked like that every morning
you would probably sell your soul to see him in his velvet blue suit with slicked back hair every day
it was just a crush, a workplace one too, which everyone had at your age
correction, you didn’t work there, you were an intern at 18 years old
in the biggest firm in the city
neo corp.
you can still remember how much your hands shook when you passed the interview
your first instinct was to tell your mum and you guys partied like there was no tomorrow
you did not expect to be the secretary of a 21 year old hot asian man but were you complaining? nah.
his name was lee minhyung, but he preferred to be called mark
practically every woman in the company was head over h e e l s for him, but he was indifferent
he was used to the attention by now
you definitely didn’t have a chance with him but you didn’t let that bother you
watching him from afar rush to his office, you panicked
he was never this late
is he okay?
stumbling towards his office, you knocked a few times before falling in
shocked would be an understatement
there was a disheveled mark face-first melting into his desk
cheeks red, he looked up and rolled his eyes
“knock next time,”
adjusting your blouse, you nodded
“are you okay?”
“yeah, something came up, can you get me a coffee?”
“sure sir.”
walking down the street, you thought to yourself, what on earth happened to him at 8 am in the morning?
you’d never know
or so you thought
a few weeks later, you were attempting to clear out mark’s schedule when you stumbled upon the most bizarre thing ever
he had put “NATIVITY <3” on the date which was meant to have the biggest shareholder meet
confused, you questioned whether he had younger siblings
but you didn’t want to bother him so you just stuck the shareholder meet underneath the memo of the nativity
“y/n, you didn’t tell me the shareholder meet was on the 18th!”
of course you should have told him.
now, you had a flustered and rather cute doe-eyed mark staring up at you in dismay
“i realised you had a nativity that day but i didn’t want to bother you?”
“you need to tell me these things, they’re so important, fuck,”
that was the first time you had ever heard him swear
mark lee, the angel, the good christian boy, swore.
stifling a laugh, you apologised and left his office
the last thing you expected was for you to roll into work the next morning, strapped with his coffee in one hand and woah- there was a baby
a literal spawn of satan
sat in mark’s lap.
honestly, you should have noticed the signs earlier
“how many times have i told you to knock?” he whisper-shouted, not wanting to scare the toddler running around his clean office
you giggled and mumbled a ‘sorry’ before asking
“whose is that?”
“apppppaaa, can i eat this?”
“no hyuck, you can’t eat my pens, come back here baby,”
it was amusing to say the least to watch dad mark, you figured, run around his office like a headless chicken
his son, hyuck?, was beautiful
hyuck has a soft heart-shaped face with pink pouty lips and chubby cheeks
his hair was similar to his fathers when it wasn’t straightened, a brown wavy mop on his head
fuck, you were soft for his sparkly eyes, he was adorable
“he’s, he’s yours??”
“uh, yeah, my ex’s actually but she left him with me- hyuck don’t bite my table!”
mark was practically panting by the time he picked up the little guy from his bear hoodie and sat him on one thigh
“i’m never going to get work done now,”
mark had the audacity to p o u t
fucking pout
your heart had melted.
feeling helpless, you offered to keep hyuck busy throughout the day
you claimed to be good with kids, a big fat white lie, and wanted to help mark out
immediately, his eyes lit up and he asked a small “really?” as if you had just offered to explain the meaning of life
you fixed your skirt before nodding and waving at the baby on mark’s leg who was now facing you
hyuck smiled, displaying his tiny teeth, and attempted to run off his father’s lap
“appa, is this the pretty girl you always talk about to uncle jeno?”
hyuck’s question was innocent, chubby finger pointing at you
mark went red before mumbling a little ‘shut it hyuck,’
“don’t mind donghyuck, he makes things up, the mind of a three-year-old is very creative, trust me,” mark flailed his hands, letting donghyuck waddle towards you
“appa, she is your sectary right? the one you want to take-“
“lee donghyuck! if you don’t stop talking right now, i will confiscate your power ranger figurines for a week!”
mark glared at the little boy sternly and all you could do is laugh at how donghyuck couldn’t pronounce the word secretary
you promised mark that everything was alright and you left to take hyuck on a little tour
he enjoyed the fish tanks the most, little head peering up and intently staring at the fishes
he decided to name one charizard as it was red
you nodded in response, steering him away from the fish in hopes of finding him some lunch
after hyuck practically begged you, you settled for buying a few timbits
mark would probably be appalled but he didn’t have to know
hyuckie ended up getting chocolate all over his mouth and you had to take him to the bathroom to clean up
after a rather grulling day of managing the toddler, you returned to mark’s office
it was only 4 pm and you knew mark wouldn’t get off this early but taking care of a toddler was draining
you found mark with his head against a pile of books on his messy desk
the poor boy was asleep, mouth agape and hair sticking out everywhere
you patted him gently in hope of waking him up and he shot up faster than lightning
the joy in his eyes the moment he saw donghyuck made you fall for him just a little bit more
hyuckie rushed up to his father as fast as his little legs could carry him and mark picked him up and span him around
mark covered hyuck with kisses and you were s l i g h t y jealous at the sight
you stood back, feeling slightly out of place before mark thanked you
he ran his hand through his messy hair and sighed
you couldn’t help but inquire about what hyuck was babbling about earlier
“it was- it was nothing,”
mark looked so shy it hurt
“appa wants to take you on a date!”
you laughed, looking at mark expectedly but he was too busy darting his eyes around the room
“i like you too, you know,”
“what-“
he looked at you like you were an alien, mouth parted and eyes wider than ever before
“mark, i mean sir-“
“mark’s fine,”
“mark, you’re the cutest person i’ve ever met, i would be crazy to pass up on the opportunity,”
there was a silence between you
“does this mean you’re my mum now-“
“hyuck!”
maybe things would work out for you ♡
#nct#nct smut#nct fluff#nct angst#nct 127#nct dream#nct u#mark lee#haechan#jeno#nct au#nct reactions#nct ff#nct mlt#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nctzen#nctinc#jaehyun#johnny#taeyong#lucas#ten#nct recs#nct edit#nct icons#nct theme#chenle#jaemin#jisung
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Lilies of the Valley XII
A/B/O!BTS x Reader
Flowers can have different meanings depending on the flower shape, color, and method in which they are presented. Lilies are my favorite for such a simple flower can have so many distinct meanings.
“The scent of lily of the valley is considered by some to be the most attractive out of any wild flower.”
Release Date: 06/26/20 @ 7 pm
previously
Trigger Warning: Some of the contents may not be suitable for all audiences. These include dubious consent, gas lighting, victim blaming/shaming, toxic relationship, and various forms of abuse as well as rationalization of said abuse. This is a work of fiction and doesn’t represent the character of bangtan sonyeondan. Enjoy ~~~
YN hadn’t even realized she had fallen asleep, likely exhausted by the day’s events. What she did know is that the pain in her neck was killing her and that her bite mark felt like it was throbbing. When she shifts slightly her hand hits the door and all the memories came rushing back to her, in a weakened state she reached up, trying the doorknob again. Still locked. Her eyes stung and her vision was incredibly blurry from still being mostly asleep. Though from glancing at the clock, it seemed to be around three in the morning. YN yawned, crawling towards her bed in desperate need of actual rest. The second her head hit the pillow, she fell back asleep that’s when the nightmares began.
YN had a cotton blue blanket thrown over her shoulders, it had been given to her by the officer in charge the second she stepped foot inside the police station. Her right foot moved rapidly up and down, YN could hear her mother's voice echoing in her head. Telling her to stop shaking her foot, but she couldn't help it. YN didn't entirely understand what had happened, she knew the events leading up but most things were a blur. The only certain thing was the large bite on the right side of her body; where her shoulder met her neck. The person in front of her - the officer - looked like the stereotype: big, buff, likely an alpha though YN's nose was plugged. The stare he gave her was intimidating and YN felt like she was being interrogated for a crime rather than reporting one.
"We're going to have to go over what happened. Can you tell me where you went after the gym?" His voice was stained with a roughness that did not match his age. The officer's voice was almost as hard as his eyes. YN's eyes trailed to the pin on the left side right above his plaque. Officer Yang hadn't even bothered to introduce himself. "I was uncomfortable." Everyone knew. “I felt uncomfortable, so I went to change in the bathroom. Alone.” Yang wrote something down in the file, before glancing back up at her. His eyes disarmed her like he was trying to see through her. “That’s when your heat started and you met,” he looked down at the file again, “Jungkook?” YN nodded.
“I just saw him and ran to him.” I felt a pull. There were somethings she couldn’t say, things that seemed crazy to her to even think. YN blamed it all on the heat, she wasn’t normally like this. “What did Jungkook say when he saw you in that state?” There was something in Yang’s eyes that alarmed YN, but she thought back to what exactly the young alpha had said. “YN. Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?” YN parted her lips to speak when Yang pointed the pen in his hand accusingly.
“Did you know him before this?”
“No, but…” I trusted him. YN clears her throat, "I knew of him." YN doesn't visibly shrink at the way she's being stared at. She knows it won't do her any favors, but it does make her look anywhere else rather than at the officer in front of her.
“I see.” Then, he looks back down at his file. “Please continue, Ms. YLN. What happened afterward?” The officer’s hand waved in a circular motion.
“He offered to take me home, but I didn’t want to so we went to his place.”
Officer Yang slams shut the file folder but place his pen down carefully. The two actions entirely contradictory and it causes fear to spike in YN's body.
“Are you aware that Jungkook has other mates?”
YN nods, “Yes, but it wasn’t like that.” It wasn’t a betrayal. Jungkook didn’t appear to have a mating bond, even if he did. YN distinctly remembers him encouraging & reciprocating, something that doesn’t make much sense as he should be physically incapable.
“But you were aware that Jungkook had just recently presented as an alpha? That his rut was right around the corner?”
YN began to put the pieces together. The narrative the officer was trying to form and she wasn’t allowing it. Couldn’t allow it. “I didn’t. Not until later.” When we kissed. YN fisted the material of her jeans, she could feel her heart beginning to race and she urged it to relax.
“What about the bite, how did that happen?”
As if sentient, the bite throbbed. There were still dried specks of blood surrounding it even though the team had tried to carefully disinfect it. They even gave her a pack filled with antibiotics and first aid essentials. "I felt extreme pain and then I woke up. I don't even really remember falling asleep." Though YN is aware that she went missing for three days, they're mostly a blur. YN can only remember key moments: those when her heat was the worst.
“So what you’re saying then is that you didn’t see who did it. Weren’t his mates in the house? Couldn’t it have been any of them?” Yang’s tone was bordering on frustration, aggression even, as if it were him and not her who had just been in a traumatic situation. YN doesn’t have her phone on her, it’s in her mother’s purse outside. She wishes she could show the texts, the calls, the voicemails: all of them from Jungkook. Him pleading at her to forgive him, to come back, to let him explain. It sounded more like desperate wails than a remorseful cry. “No, but -”
“Not to mention it was consensual.”
“I-i don’t understand.”
Officer Yang looks around the room as if making sure no one was listening, then he leans in. The way one might when telling a secret, when sharing important information. YN shifts and feels the blanket sliding off her shoulder, her hands fly to it to adjust it. Her grip was strong and frightened. “Look this doesn't look too well. Yeah, you could take it to court but they aren't very favorable to people of your condition.” My condition? “Not to mention the fact that it would go on your record. Plus, alpha bites don't heal everyone knows that especially not on an omega.” YN felt the fight leave her body even her posture was as rigid as could be. “It’s not worth it, kid. Not worth tarnishing your reputation.”
Not even a second passed before the door was open, an angry woman storming in. “What the fuck are you doing? You aren’t part of the special victims unit.” The woman looked furious, she was much taller than officer Yang and didn’t seem the least bit intimidated by the harsh glare directed at her. “I was following protocol. Christian asked me to step in.” Just like that, Yang stood up and left. Not bothering to spare YN a glance on his way out. Too riled up, the female officer had yet to notice YN’s appearance. The paleness of her skin, the stillness of her form, the lack of will to live in her eyes.
"Hello, I'm Officer Kim. I'm with the special victim's division." Officer Kim waited to see if YN responded, instead of speaking YN only nodded curtly. Kim glared at the door, cursing Yang out in her head, "I'm sorry about him. He can be an ass sometimes." YN however remains unresponsive as tears begin to stream down her face. "Hey, are you alright?" YN nods again though almost unperceptively this time.
“I’m very sorry for what’s occurred to you, YN. But I want you to know it isn’t your fault and that we are here to help.” Officer Kim sent a comforting smile, trying to ease YN’s nerves. YN remained silent, her grip on the blue blanket thrown around her shoulders was so strong her fingers were white. The officer sighed, tilting her head slightly to send a look to the people behind the screen. When she looked back at YN, all she saw was the teenager’s glassy widened eyes. It had been an accident, a terrible one, but teenagers tended to be reckless. If the gruesome bite on YN’s neck was anything to show for it.
“Do you want to press charges?”
YN shook her head, caving in on herself even more. Jungkook's sorry wails still echoed in her head. It didn't matter, what's done is done. YN looked up to meet the officer Kim's warm golden eyes. Her lips parted and she could see the anticipation building up in the cop's face only for there to be a disappointment once YN spoke.
“I just want to go home.”
YN felt warmth radiating from her sides, as well as the rhythmic thudding of a heart near her ear. YN couldn’t exactly tell who was next to her, their scent muted, though it was probably done purposefully. When YN’s eyes finally peeled open they met Seokjin’s dark ones. His arms were wrapped around her torso, whilst Taehyung’s legs were coiled around hers. It feels like a contest between her and the alpha seeing who will break first, YN almost expects it to be her until he finally speaks.
“How did you sleep last night?”
YN wasn't expecting that. Wasn't expecting them to pretend as if nothing happened. Or did they see nothing wrong with locking her inside the room? YN struggled to believe that, they wouldn't have been in her bed if it wasn't check up on her - to make sure she stayed there. What about the police sirens? Had Rosé contacted them after YN’s text? Truth be told YN couldn’t remember where her phone was, but it must be in the room.
“I slept well. What about you?”
Seokjin didn’t bother replying, it didn’t seem like he cared to. All he did was smile at her, a polite one that didn’t reach his eyes. From beside her, Taehyung groaned then his eyes opened staring at YN intensely. The two men simply observed YN and the longer it went on for the more unnerved she felt. Like they were waiting for something to happen. Once again, the second YN was about to speak they threw her for a whiplash.
“We’re having you move into the main house. There’s been a lot of robberies around the area recently and we don’t think it’s safe for you to be so far away.” Taehyung’s voice didn’t sound rough or sleepy at all, his appearance wasn’t disheveled either. Neither was Seokjin’s. YN wondered if they had been pretending to sleep just to lull her into a false sense of security. They were probably waiting for me to wake up. YN was exhausted from having to put up a front around the men, but if that’s what it took to get them off her back then so be it.
YN forced a small smile on her face, “What room?”
“Our room,” Seokjin replied, not missing a beat.
Taehyung didn’t even give YN time to process anything for he stood up and pulled her along with him. “You have a guest waiting.”
When YN sees Rosé she almost cries tears of joy but holds them back as she can feel eyes on her figure. Rosé as well shoots YN a look but rushes towards her nonetheless, embracing YN in a tight hug. "I missed you so much. It's been forever since we spoke." YN knows at that moment that her best friend feels it too. Feels the eyes and ear likely plastered on the walls, YN wouldn't be surprised to find out there are hidden cameras around the house. "I'm sorry Rosé, I've just been busy." Rosé lets go of YN but does lace their hands together. YN squeezes Rosé's fingers three times. "That's not an excuse not to talk to me. You know I can't go more than one second without you or I die." YN couldn't help but giggle at how overdramatic Rosé was being for her sake. For the first time in a long time, YN felt safe again then it was taken from her again.
“I didn’t know you were coming today, Rosé.” Jimin’s head popped around the corner, the charming smile plastered on his face sure to make anyone swoon. Jimin walked towards them, stopping next to YN and wrapping his arm around her waist. It was a power move. Then, he kissed the corner of her lip YN was unable to do anything about it. Rosé, not missing a beat, responds casually. “Sorry I just missed YN a lot and I was around the area.”
“Ah, Lucas lives around here doesn’t he?”
Rosé looked a bit shocked but nodded. “Yeah. Do you know him?” She cast YN a glance, but YN was just as confused as her.
"Yeah, he went to our school." Jimin then turned to YN, "Don't you remember Wong Lucas? He was close to Kookie." YN read between the lines, but it seems Rosé didn't. "Oh, that's great." YN turned back to face her friend who was conversing with Jimin about her new boyfriend. YN felt a pit grow in her stomach. Their threats were no longer subtle, Jimin had all but implied that Lucas in their field. Lucas: the man who caused Rosé's eyes to shine and cheeks to dust just by speaking about him. Now that YN was in far too deep was when she realized how meticulously they must have planned. Her supposed mates weren't just bad, they were machiavellian levels of evil.
“Alright, then it’s set.” Jimin clapped his hands, drawing YN’s attention out of her thoughts.
“What?”
Jimin smile was sadistic, "Rosé and Lucas are going to join us for dinner tonight. Won't that be fun? A double date of sorts." Seeing Rosé nod enthusiastically YN finds that no one can help but to fall prey to Jimin's charms.
In her search for Namjoon, YN stumbled upon Yoongi and Hoseok arguing in the office. At least that is what she assumed until she got closer. “What is the right way then?!” Hoseok was screaming into a phone as Yoongi was sitting on his lap trying to calm him down, massaging his neck. Whoever it was they were speaking to on the other line must’ve said something to make them mad, for YN only saw the alpha this riled up when he felt that his pack was threatened. Yoongi sighed, leaning in closer to the phone and listening to what the other person had to say. There was a visible pout on his face and Hoseok tried to kiss it away. They both listened intently to the other person before Yoongi dejectedly muttered, “Nothing we do will ever be enough.”
YN was beginning to wonder if bad luck would always follow her, she had been actively avoiding the lead alpha since yesterday. Not wanting to be alone with any of them, except maybe Jungkook, until she figured everything out. Until YN could understand why Namjoon had bitten her and why Jungkook had taken the blame. It seems ironic that when she would confront Namjoon, the two of them would be together. YN had planned on slamming the door open, but it was already slightly open. Though truly it was the moans that stopped her. High, whiny moans that exited Jungkook’s mouth as Namjoon pounded into him. There wasn’t much that YN could see considering the sheets that covered them and how Namjoon’s large frame obscured them.
She should have walked away. Should have moved and pretended not to see anything, but YN was frozen in place. Right on Jungkook’s neck was a fresh bite mark, the wound still bleeding slightly. It matched the one on Namjoon’s bicep though that one hadn’t broken skin. That wasn’t what caught YN’s attention though - at least not for long. It was the tattoo on Jungkook’s left breast: two lilies, one tilted towards the right with the bottom one facing forward. It was her tattoo. The one on her shoulder. Jungkook had the same tattoo as her.
YN turned to run away, but she crashed into a solid figure. Shakingly her eyes traveled upwards and met with Seokjin. Please don’t. YN struggled against him, but Seokjin didn’t release her. His left hand gripped her wrist tightly and with his right, he slammed the door open causing the pair of lovers to stop what they were doing. “Stop. Let go of me.” Seokjin didn’t listen, pushing YN inside before stepping in and closing the door behind him. Jungkook was covering himself with the bedsheets and Namjoon had pulled on pants amidst her struggle with the alpha. Now that Namjoon was facing her YN saw the same tattoo on him and she wondered if all of them had it. If it had been some sick bonding thing.
Finally, she breaks. “You’re all sick! Sick in the head! You planned all of this, you planned it all.” Seokjin’s grip doesn’t break and YN fails to notice her yelling has drawn the attention of the other members. “You took advantage of me. You stalked me and studied all to complete some stupid fucking bond that probably doesn’t exist.” YN swore she heard the betas whimper, but she didn’t give a damn. Namjoon’s face remains stoic though based on how tight his jaw has locked the words must hurt him. Good.
“Who told you that?”
The bastard wasn’t even trying to deny it. That only infuriated YN more, “Yoongi told me, said you saw me in the field at school. In the lily field.” All of them stiffen. Namjoon sighs, running his hand through his hair tugging at it. He signals for Seokjin to let go of her and YN doesn’t realize just how much he’d been supporting until YN falls to the ground. “Please leave.” At his words, the betas along with Jungkook exit the room none of them daring to disobey. The door closes behind them with a click and YN’s senses feel on edge being surrounded by only alphas. Seokjin moves to take a seat on the bed and Hoseok stands behind YN, blocking the door.
Namjoon crouches in front of her, his eyes blank and empty. “You have two options: you can stay locked in this house, in this room, until you grow to love us. Or you could stop pretending and complete the bond.”
YN is shocked, “Pretending?”
“Lily, I knew from the second I saw you that we were meant to be. That you were the one we’ve been missing, the only reason you don’t feel it is because you’re an omega.”
“If you knew the second you saw me, why didn’t you approach me?! Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“Because we had been told time and time again that you wouldn’t feel the bond because you were an omega,” Namjoon yelled, his hands shaking as he tried to make YN understand. She couldn’t. She didn’t want to. “That your sub-gender was incapable of reciprocating it as a means of survival. That you would never love us the way we loved you, not unless it was forced.”
"Oh for fuck's sake Namjoon, I had a crush on you for an entire year. The only reason I never acted on it was that I knew you had mates." Suddenly everything Namjoon had said came forth, "What do you mean my sub-gender I hadn't presented yet." Then, with widened eyes and newfound horror: "You knew?"
Namjoon didn’t bother replying, YN could decipher everything just from the way his expression shifted from anger to pity. YN felt the room begin to get smaller, closing in on her, it became increasingly difficult to breathe. Namjoon tried to hold her, but she pushed him away fearing he would make it worse. YN panicked, she wasn’t breathing. Couldn’t breathe. As her mates crowded around her trying to calm her down, YN wished for it all to end.
When she came to it was in a different room: Jungkook’s. The main himself stood over her, observing her with waves of apathy coming off him. His gaze trailed slowly across her body taking in every tiny detail, but it focused on her neck. YN’s hand latched onto her bite mark and was relieved to find an old scar instead of a fresh wound.
"You bit me," Jungkook stated, fixing YN with a pointed stare. "Technically it was more of a nibble, barely even nicked me, but for a newly presented alpha amid his rut - it was more than enough." YN didn't understand what Jungkook was saying, but he placed his finger on her lips before she could get a word out. "I went into a frenzy. I wanted to bite you. To mate with you even though a part of me knew I shouldn't. I couldn't control myself." He took a seat next to YN's head. "It took all six of them to restrain me and even once I was out of the room they weren't sure I would be able to control myself. Not to mention someone had to stay with you because heats, especially the first one, can be a dangerous thing."
"No one wanted to volunteer though, none of them felt they could control themselves either. It wasn't for lack of will or want. It was instinct. So, it fell on Namjoon's shoulders." Jungkook shrugs, "After the fact, Namjoon states he doesn't remember what happened. We wanted to apologize, to explain, but when we went to check up on you again...you were gone." Jungkook refuses to look at YN, but she can tell by the way his eyes shine that he's holding back tears. "I won't even attempt to explain what that felt like. We had mated, become one, and you ran away. What hurt most wasn't that the rejection, but that you weren't even aware of what you were doing."
A singular tear falls and YN can no longer tell if Jungkook is attempting to manipulate her or being genuine. “I took the blame because it was my fault. I should have controlled myself better. Had I, none of this would’ve happened. We could’ve been together and my mates wouldn’t be suffering.”
YN couldn’t stand it anymore. “Jungkook?” The young alpha’s eyes were full of love, adoration, and unhealthy infatuation. “I wish I never met you. Any of you.”
Just like that, it was gone, YN could begin to understand why Jungkook was one of them. They were all so similar, the way they could flip a switch and become different people. Jungkook laughed, hysterically so, it lasted several minutes but once his laughter died down was when YN truly feared for her life.
“I'm sorry YN, but I'll bite you myself if that's what it takes. Dr. Kang says that one the partial bond is completed that you'll feel the bond. That you'll be with us.”
“And if I don’t?”
“The doctor you went to see called the cops & stated that she was worried about the nature of our relationship. That's why they were here yesterday night. We might've mentioned that there is a beta couple that is allowing an unmated omega to live with them illegally.” Rosé!
Jungkook snickered, “Don't worry she's staying with Lucas. Also before you go thinking about making any rash decisions a partial bond can't be broken. Theoretically, it is something that can only occur between mates. Don’t try to break it you might die.” Then he clapped his hands together as if having realized something. “Not to mention what it would mean for your family if you ran away. Shuhua's family is an incredibly old school & I'd doubt they'd want to associate w/ people like that. Might just cancel the whole wedding.”
“You bastards. You planned all of this didn't you?!”
"No. Most of the time we just got really lucky. You can't outwit fate, lily."
YN felt pathetic, she’d fallen so easily into their trap and there was no way out. YN needed a way out. Desperately, she did the only thing she could think of. “Let’s just start over Jungkook. We can leave the past behind and get to know each other from scratch. I’ll forget about everything and try. Please Jungkook.”
He shook his head, “We’ve waited too long to start all over.” That was all it took. The final words needed to crush YN’s hope. She felt her heart whither and her bite throb.
Jungkook had left YN alone after that, leaving her to waste away as she stared into the ceiling. Wondering who she had wronged in her past life to be deserving of so much pain. In those dark moments, YN realized there was something far more terrifying than be surrounded by delusional men - the fact that she had surrendered. There was no way for her to escape. Even if she managed to leave the house the authorities would send her right back or place her into the boarding house to be sold off. There was no winning. YN couldn't win.
A knock on the door drew her back down to the earth she so desperately wanted an escape from. Taehyung peered inside and YN was thankful it wasn’t Jungkook again. “You have to get ready. Going on a date remember?” When YN doesn’t reply, Taehyung walks over his steps light. YN thinks he’s going to be upset until the beta scoops her off the bed, cradling her in his arms. “Oh, lily. I know it’s scary, but I promise you. It isn’t. You’ll feel it. Feel happiness.” Taehyung tenderly kisses her forehead and carries her to the bathroom. By the time YN comes out, he has left and a white silk dress is laid on the bed.
Namjoon is the only one dressed and that worries her. The rest of them are in the living room preparing to wave them off. “We figured it be best not to cause such an uproar,” Namjoon explains, YN knows that isn’t true as they’ve never cared about that before but agrees nonetheless.
“Have fun!”
"Who wants dessert?" Lucas asks and Rosé agrees enthusiastically, YN on the other hand can barely manage to finish her food. Rosé meets her gaze and YN can see some regret in them, but its quickly replaced by annoyance. YN darts her eyes back to her plate of food and Namjoon squeezes her hand gently.
“Why can’t you see how lucky you are? You don’t have to worry about anything. You have people who love you and protect you, whilst all you can do is complain. I get that you don’t reciprocate their feelings, but isn’t feeling safe so much more important?! You have a roof over your head. You went to a good school and will probably pop out beta and alpha pups.”
YN grabs her glass of water and chugs it down, trying to swallow back the sob threatening to escape.
“Yet all you can do is throw yourself a pity party because you’re an omega. Grow up and stop looking down on yourself.”
Rosé hadn’t approached it the right way, hadn’t meant to be so cruel. Or maybe she had. Still, she was right and YN knew it. From Rosé’s point of view, YN had been given everything an omega could ever want. Everything anyone could ever need and she was throwing it away for trivial matters. There were others out there having it a lot worse - Rosé included. If it didn’t work out with Lucas then she would be forced to go with her brother. The only reason it wouldn’t work out with Lucas would be because of YN. She couldn’t do that to her friend. It was time, she stopped.
YN squeezed Namjoon’s hand signaling to him that she wanted to leave. “I’m sorry, but I think its time for us to go.” The lead alpha smiled, dimples on full display. “It was a pleasure meeting you though, we should do this again.” Lucas nodded, “Of course. We had fun.” YN nodded forcing a smile on for pleasantries. Rosé didn’t bother to look at YN and she was beyond thankful for that, not thinking she would be able to hold back her tears if she did.
The streets were practically empty, so the ride wouldn’t take as long. Still, YN counted every second working up the courage to accept her fate. In the middle seat of the row, lay their hands intertwined, and much like how their bond worked, YN felt it was meant to be a display of control rather than something comforting. There was no point in fighting it anymore, there was no winning against fate.
“Bite me.”
Namjoon whirled his head, seemingly caught off guard by what YN had asked. The space between his brows wrinkled by a frown. Before Namjoon could speak, before YN could talk herself out it, she kissed him. YN moved to straddle him and their kisses grew more intense as time passed. One kiss is patient, selfless, hopeful, and kind. One kiss was jealous, selfish, helpless, & blind. And they would continue that way until YN leaned to the side peppering kisses on Namjoon's neck - baring hers.
“Please.”
It was a broken whisper, YN wasn’t even sure what she was asking for anymore but Namjoon did. The alpha kissed her neck three times before opening his mouth and biting down on her neck. YN felt little trials of warm blood escape as Namjoon licked at the wound. The pain was intense. It felt like fire was traveling through her veins, crawling its way towards her heart attempting to reach it. YN held off for as long as could before, finally clamping down on Namjoon’s scent gland and biting harshly. Suddenly the pain was gone and YN felt a euphoric bliss that couldn’t be explained. YN didn’t know if it was the bond or if she had finally lost her mind.
With blood-stained lips and frenzied looks in their eyes, Namjoon and YN kiss once more. Seiling their fate and completing the bond.
THE END
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Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 68-69 (nice)
This is the “Castlevania” arc. It’s only two parts, but I want to slow down and take my time with this one.
Okay, so in the last chapter, Alucard was fighting Alexander Anderson, who used one of the nails from the True Cross to pierce his own heart, which transformed Anderson into some sort of miraculous creature made of thorny tendrils. Then he struck a heavy blow on Alucard’s head, and just sort of kept on going down his neck and chest.
And as far as we call tell, this is the most danger Alucard’s been in since the story began. Anderson lopped off his head in their first encounter, and even that didn’t stop him. Now, in this “holy monster” form, Anderson can grow back body parts just as easily as Alucard, and he seems to be able to hurt Alucard a lot more than ever before. The irony is that Alucard might have been honored to lose to Anderson, but only when he was a human foe. Now that Anderson has used the Nail of Helena to become something inhuman, Alucard feels that it diminishes their fight.
Regardless, Alucard is in serious danger, or so it seems. Even his horde of familiars are bursting into flames all around him, which I assume is a side-effect of Anderson’s attack. As this happens, Alucard appears to lose consciousness, and flashes back to his childhood.
This whole flashback seemed like a nonsequitur to me when I watched the Hellsing Ultimate OVA, but I think it makes a bit more sense this time around. As a boy in the 1440′s, Vlad Tepes was something of a religious fantatic, much like Father Anderson in 1999. He pledged to never ask God for anything, which I don’t think is theologically sound, but let’s run with it. The point here seems to be that Vlad felt it was more pious to endure hardship while keeping his faith in God.
For example, in this scene, we see Vlad being dragged away to be raped, and he grabs the cross he wears around his neck for solace. He doesn’t beg God for mercy or deliverance, but simply clings to his faith to see him through.
I’m assuming the man in shadow is Sultan Murad II of the Ottoman Empire. In 1442, Murad summoned Vlad’s father to Gallipoli, and he went there with Vlad and his brother Ruda. The Sultane then imprisoned all three of them, and eventually released Vlad’s father, but kep the boys as hostages to ensure the fahter’s loyalty. There was a period when Vlad’s father sided against the Ottomans, and he presumed his sons had been killed, but in fact they survived and eventually returned to Wallachia. So maybe Kouta Hirano is taking some creative license here, and suggesting that Murad II took out his anger on Vlad in other ways.
Eventually, Vlad became the Voivoide of Wallachia, and in this flashback we find that he considers fighting to be a form of prayer. Not for mercy, because Vlad refuses to ask for that. Instead, he seems to believe that if you just keep fighting hard enough, God will descend from the heavens. None of this made sense to me the first time around, but once you start interpreting this in the context of Vlad as a religious extremist, it starts to add up. Anderson’s fellows in the Iscariot Organization were literally blowing themselves up to help Anderson defeat Alucard, and they were happy to do it, because they saw it as a holy mission. Anderson himself was eager to use the Nail to make himself into a monster, because he craved to be a single-minded instrument of God’s will. A righteous bludgeon to smite the wicked. Vlad Tepes’ “bloodlust” seems to have been inspired by a similar zealotry, at least as Hirano sees it.
But in the end, did God descend to respond to Vlad’s “prayers”? The image of the modern Alucard is all the answer we need. Of course that didn’t happen.
I’m just cribbing from the Vlad the Impaler page on Wikipedia, but from what I gather about Vlad’s final years, he was fighting for the office of Voivoide of Wallachia against Basarab Laiotă , who had support from the Ottoman Empire. Vlad fought and lost, probably dying in battle in December 1476/Janury 1477. The story goes that his corpse was cut into pieces, and his head sent to Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II.
So Kouta Hirano depicts Vlad’s final moments with him being captured and executed. This is certainly plausible, and it gives Vlad a chance to reflect on his failure before he meets his fate. He fought and killed so many people, daring to resist the Ottomans even as he ruled a state that was basically controlled by the Ottomans, and I guess he must have known how impossible that would be, which is why he counted on God to deliver him, so long as he fought hard enough.
But in that final moment, just as the axe comes down on his neck, he still has his cross... but instead of taking solace in that, he reaches out instead for the puddle of blood in front of him. The axe comes down and shatters the cross, just as Vlad Tepes forsakes his humanity.
So maybe all of this is a way of Alucard accepting defeat. Defeated and humbled, no longer a servant of God or a leader of men, no longer even a man, he renounced his faith and became the vampire Dracula, and eventually Alucard. But now Anderson seems to have the upper hand, so maybe, after 523 years, Vlad Tepes is back where he started, facing an inevitable death.
And you know, maybe Anderson’s monster form represents the divine intervention he was waiting for back in the 15th Century. After all these centuries of battle, you might say that God finally did descend from heaven to respond to Alucard. So maybe this is a fitting swan song for the guy. He wanted to die at the hands of a human adversary, but maybe this works too, right?
But then he hears someone calling out to him, and...
Hey, it’s Seras!
So yeah, we’re back to the real world, and Anderson’s well on his way to chopping Alucard in half and burning him with holy fire or something...
And Alucard’s still out of it...
And then Seras jumps in to save his ass! Cool!
The only problem is that this was killing Alucard, and Seras is less powerful than Alucard, so she’s probably not going to be able to do a lot of good here. For that matter, this might just get both of them killed.
And this is why I think this moment is cool. When Team Four Star did their Abridged parody of Hellsing, they sort of skipped this whole “Seras jumps in” part of the fight. Instead, they did a whole thing where Alucard has a near-death experience and talks to God. Then he rejects God’s offer of forgiveness and goes on to defeat Anderson by himself. I don’t care much for that, because Seras is my favorite character, and I find the whole routine of “Well maybe I don’t need your forgiveness, God!” kind of stale and limp. Can something be stale and limp at the same time?
Like, I think I get that a lot of atheists are sore at the whole “organized religion” thing, but it seems kind of silly to write a whole bit where the premise is that God is real, but only so we can all tell him to get lost. Like, I’m a Christian, so I can’t really relate, but if I thought God didn’t exist, I wouldn’t spend all day writing angry text messages to God to remind him of how fake he is.
But mostly, I just really like Seras, and this is a cool Seras scene, and I think that deserves attention, so here we are.
The Alucard-Seras relationship is complex by design. With Integra and Alucard, there’s not much to it. She literally addresses him as “slave” at one point, and he repeatedly talks about himself like a weapon that she has to point at her target. There’s something kind of like that with Al and Seras. In one of their first missions together, he sends her to take out a bunch of ghouls just so he won’t be bothered, and it’s almost like he’s weilding her as a weapon. But he also never leans on that too hard. For one thing, there’s not a whole lot of thngs Seras can do for him that he can’t do more easily himself.
It feels a lot more like a Master/Apprentice relationship, which may not strictly be a vampire thing, because he’s teaching her how to hunt vampires and how to be a vampire at the same time. I think Seras has the same sort of devotion to her master as he does for Integra, but that’s mostly overshadowed by a more down-to-earth respect and admiration. She sees him like a superior officer and a mentor, but she also knows that he has this strange charm over her that she can’t explain or resist.
One of the things I can’t stand about he Gonzoverse Hellsing Anime is how after a while they just started having Seras say “Master...!” over and over. I get it, there’s some power in the way she says it. It means a lot of things to her. I wouldn’t be shocked to find out that “Castlevania part 2″ inspired some of that, but I don’t know what chapter of the manga was published when the anime wrapped up. But it annoyed me that they just used “Master...!” over and over again as a shorthand for Seras’s feelings. You have to do something with it. Demonstrate it, like we’re seeing here with Seras trying to remove a blessed bayonet from Alucard’s torso. She has to help him, even if it means risking her own neck, because he means so much to her, and she wouldn’t be here without him. And yeah, she’s his vampire servant, so this seems like something a loyal servant should be doing. Stickin’ together is what good waffles do.
Let me pause here to note that this marks the destruction of whatever remained of Dandyman and Rip van Winkle, the only “name” characters featured in Alucard’s menagerie of absorbed souls. Whatever Anderson is doing to Alucard, it’s destroying them, irrevocably.
So it occurred to me one day, what if Seras has to save Alucard, not out of slavish devotion or plucky heroism, or even righteous loyalty? Way back in Chapter 1, Integra explained vampires to the local authorities, and said that when you kill a vampire, you also destroy all the ghouls and servant vampires that were created by that first vampire. In other words, if Alucard were to be destroyed, Seras ought to die with him. So maybe her efforts here could be nothing more than self-preservation. I’m not wild about that idea. Maybe, after drinking Pip’s blood, Seras “graduated” from that lowly status, and she no longer depends upon Alucard in this way.
But I think the point remains either way. They’re in this together. Alucard called the two of them a family, and it wasn’t just creepy vampire talk. There’s a bond between them, and it matters to both of them. And that’s why Seras’ intervention here is what brings Alucard back from the brink. By rushing in to help him, Seras has placed herself in danger, and now they have to rescue each other.
I like this part where he puts his hand on hers as they pull out the bayonet together. It’s like the moment when Seras reached out to Alucard in Cheddar and he took her hand then. Well, that was only in the OVA, but still.
Alucard tells Anderson that he might have welcomed a death like this, maybe back when he was about to get beheaded in 1476, but now, he refuses to be defeated. 523 years ago, he was at his lowest ebb. He had nothing. Today, he has Seras.
And... yeah, he has Integra too. I don’t want to dismiss the importance of that relationship. But Integra could find a way to get by without him if she needed to. He has a responsibility to Seras, though, and Seras’s loyalty trumps whatever death-fantasies he might have on his mind.
Then Al turns into this form, which I guess is the same outfit he was wearing back in 1989, when Integra found him in the basement. Not sure if that’s supposed to mean anything, though.
Oh, and I guess there’s still a few familiars that didn’t burn up from before? This is the last time we see them though, so maybe this final attack finishes them off.
As Alucard strikes the final blow on Anderson, Integra flashes back to her father, who taught her about the vampires’ inner psyche. Arthur Hellsing suggested that vampires don’t have a whole lot to show for their immortality. They crave conflict, not for its own sake, but becuse they long for death. Not just any ol’ death, but a kind of death that they could take some solace in. We’ve already seen this in Alucard, as he seems to relish the idea of being killed by a human like Anderson, or van Helsing. If all he wanted was death, he could have let that Ottoman headsman finish the job 523 years ago. Instead, he lost everything, and he’s spent centuries with nothing to take comfort in. And that probably explains why Alucard is so happy with his service to Integra. At least she gives him a purpose, a duty, a cause to fight for.
And finally, Alucard rips out Anderson’s heart, with the Holy Nail still in it.
And he crushes it, which I guess it enough to neutralize the Nail’s effect? Well, cool enough then.
But Al takes no pleasure in this victory. He sees in Anderson a reflection of himself, back when he was a human. The fanaticism, the failure, the rejection of humanity to become a monster, and then failure again.
And then Anderson, or whats’ left of him, consoles Alucard before he dies.
#2021hellsingliveblog#hellsing#alucard#seras victoria#alexander anderson#sir integra hellsing#arthur hellsing#walter c dornez#murad ii
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2/24/2022 DAB Chronological Transcription
Numbers 3 - 4
Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological. Today's the 24th day of February, and I'm Jill. So great to be here. As we journey through the word of God, we do it individually, we do it collectively, and if you want, you can do it in community. This music right here is the music that if you're walking anywhere, you have to start bouncing. You have to bounce. I don't care if you have headphones on ear pods and people will think you're crazy. It's okay. Just bounce to the music. Order spaghetti and meatballs. If you want to pretend you're in a Villa in Italy somewhere, maybe you are in a Villa in Italy listening, I don't know. Wherever you are, whoever you are, no matter how you got here, I'm so glad to be on this journey together with you this week. Today we're continuing in the Book of Numbers, chapters three and four. And this week we're reading the Christian Standard Bible, Numbers, chapter three.
Commentary and Memorial. We are praying for your family Jill.
It's interesting sometimes the things that come up when we're listening to scripture. I've often heard people ask, why the genealogy, what was so important about those people that their names make it in the Bible, but we don't know a lot of significance to their life for many of these people. A lot of you that have been here a really long time might remember Brian talking about this particular topic and how we sat in a genocide Museum in Rwanda, Africa, listening to the names of every person that was accounted for that had been murdered during the genocide of over a million people in the span of about 90 days. And if you don't have any reference for that, that's okay. But there's something very powerful sitting in a quiet room alone, listening to the names of people being read one by one. And our culture, it can be so backwards sometimes because we wait until death to honor people, especially people that live extraordinary lives. And then it's like to get any honor, you have to do something so extraordinary in this life before you'll get any recognition whatsoever. And if I'm being honest, I just don't like that. I like to celebrate people all the time, if I can. And the truth is, I don't have the answer to the original question that I presented. Why are some people's names of significance, especially in a census or a genealogy? But I think it's safe to say it was important enough to God to name these people, to name the clans, to name the families to mark it as such. And it's just so interesting that on a day like today where we have names and tribes and clans and numbers, and I guess why it's significant to me, today is today is a day. And my family honors and lays to rest and celebrates the life of my nephew, Jonathan Mark Parr. He has fought the most courageous battle with cancer. And even though the effects of cancer took him, I know that his faith, his belief, his call on the name of the Lord saved him. And so death does not have the final word. And I'd love to tell you that I'm taking this like a big girl, and I'm okay with it. And I don't have any questions, because it's so interesting all of the things that you know are not right on this side of life. The things that did I not pray hard enough, did I not believe enough? Did I not say the right prayer with the magic words where God would come and heal him? My mind had a tendency to reach to all of those places. My mind had a tendency when I started to feel my hands curled over in a fist to kind of shake it at God. But we fight through all of the things that we have heard people say or that seemed to be the things we cling to. And I opened my hand and just grabbed onto the hand of Almighty God to tell him that I will rest in the mystery of what I do not know and what I do not understand. But if I get mad and angry and throw a fit, it ultimately push him away. And I would probably miss out in some pretty intimate moments of allowing my father, my creator, to just come and hold me. So I'm embracing the mystery, and I am just in the midst of the embrace today. And I know so many of you, probably most of you never knew him, don't know him from Adam or Moses. But I didn't want this day and this moment to be missed. It just feels irreverent because of who he was. Johnny was kindness on a supernatural level, and he was love on a supernatural level. He radiated love and acceptance and the love of Jesus to everyone he met. Johnny felt called into Ministry, and he would call me sometimes and we would talk, and he was so excited about what God was calling him into. And I was excited for him. And I would just give him little Nuggets that I've learned along the way. And he would say, Wait a minute, Aunt Jill, I'm going to go get my pen and my paper. I'm going to write it down. And what we didn't realize is Johnny had already entered into his Ministry the way that he ministered to the people that he was with during chemo, the people that were working on him, the nurses that he would see regularly. And so he would go periods of time without seeing, and he would remember them, and they were shocked that he would remember them. And he would pray with the staff of those that were administering medicines to him. And he mentored, and he was the oldest and the grandchildren of our family and he just sort of lovingly led the pack and it's fitting that he led the way a little bit before I wanted to be honest. But that's just the thing. Like if somebody told you that being a Christian is you get everything that you want and every prayer gets answered exactly how you asked for it, well, then I'm sorry. Enduring is so much more a relatable part of the Christian faith sometimes than overcoming. And so if you have ever, ever experienced the questions that I mentioned, if you have ever just asked God, I know you can. Why did you not? Then I want you to know that you are not alone. And what I know is that there is no greater comfort than the comforter there is nothing that can heal my pain or take away my sadness long term, than the gift that we have available to us through the Holy spirit. Anything else we reach for will be a temporary fix to a long term situation. And there's no life in those things there's no life in the things that we reach for, but we can reach for the one who brought us life and life more abundantly. And so whatever you may be going through today, I pray that you reach for the comforter. And I pray that you know Holy spirit will not inflict more pain. We have such a tendency to push people away in our pain, in our distress, thinking that they'll come and inflict more harm more pain, but we're intended to feel things. We have emotions for a reason and I know pain is real And I know it's hard but we don't go through it alone. We sometimes hope so much for the miraculous that we have a tendency to forget that Jesus himself said, I have come to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free. So my reach today is to Jesus and I pray that that will be your reach too and maybe you just need to know that I'm here and I'm just sitting with you in the pain and the ache and in the longing for all things new for all things things to be restored and so my prayer today is simply this Jesus come and hold us.
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Second Chances - Mark (Midsommar)
Warning: Major spoilers for the movie, drug use, this fic is dogshite, toxic relationships, and just overall fucked up situations
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(my gif actually)
“Dani, do you really think it’s a good idea to go?”
Dani sighed heavily when you asked that exact question for the fourth time while she was marking her calendar for when their flight to Sweden would take place. “Yes, Y/N. I’ll be fine. I’m fine.”
You knew she wasn’t fine.
“I just, I do think getting out of this tiny little apartment would be good for you...but does it have to be on the other side of the world?”
Dani scoffed. “It’s not on the other side of the world, babe, it’s just across the Atlantic.”
“It’s far enough.” You pouted. “Plus, going with that guy isn’t a good idea either.”
“You’ve known Christian as long as you’ve known me, Y/N. You should know his name by now.”
“I do know his name, I just don’t like saying it.”
Dani frowned. “He’s my boyfriend, you’ve gotta learn to accept him at some point.”
You shook your head. “He doesn’t give you what you need, Dani. He’s terrible at supporting you all the time. He’s an asshole.”
“It’s my relationship. Not yours.” Dani snapped, quickly sighing in frustration and sitting next to you. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped.”
“No, I’m sorry. I...just want what’s best for you, that’s all.”
Dani smiled weakly, placing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you in for a side hug. “I know, babe, I know. I gotta believe this trip to Sweden is exactly what we need.”
“I really hope so, for your sake.”
Dani subtly wiped away a shed tear off her face, faking a wide smile. “So, did you decide if you wanted to go to the party tonight?”
“Depends, is Mark gonna be there?”
“You know he is.”
“Then no.”
“Come on, Mark’s a good guy.” She’s stifled a chuckle.
“Girl, you can’t even keep a straight face.” You laughed.
“You used to be date him and actually enjoyed spending time with him, ya know.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me.”
“Please, it’ll be fun! Pelle and Josh will be there too, it won’t just be Mark.”
“Josh is a smart ass who gets on my nerves. I mean, who the hell studies anthropology?”
“Hey!”
“Oh hush, you’re studying psychology.”
Dani rolled her eyes. “Okay, Ms. Environmental Scientist.” She said, making you chuckle. “So, are you coming to that party with me or what?”
You didn’t really enjoy going to parties...like, at all. Even if Dani invited you to one, you always made some sort of excuse to get you out of going. But ever since the incident with her family, you felt you needed to spend every waking moment with her, mostly out of fear that you’d lose her forever. You probably spent more time with Dani than her so called boyfriend.
You felt selfish for feeling pained that Christian was the first one she called when she got the news. You knew her family, actually made an effort to get to know them unlike Christian, and always saw her parents as your own and her sister was always kind to you. You felt like you lost a lot too, but you didn’t allow yourself to feel that way for long, not when they weren’t actually your family. If you were being honest, you haven’t allowed yourself to grieve at all. You spend most of your time taking care of Dani, never having the time to do anything for yourself.
The company Dani kept also was one of the reasons you never wanted to go to one of those parties. Pelle was nice, you could actually see him as a friend. Josh was a know-it-all. To be fair, you were a know-it-all too, but at least you didn’t brag about it every chance you got.
You couldn’t stand Christian. You always saw how awful Christian treated Dani, and how she just took it. One day, you actually almost got into a psychical fight with him for how he gaslighted her. Dani didn’t talk to you for a week after that, and after that, you tried not to let your anger out because you didn’t want to lose your best friend.
Mark...god, Mark could be so annoying. You used to be a couple, it’s true. But after seeing him not do anything about his “best friend” mentally abusing his girlfriend, you couldn’t just stay with him anymore, it just didn’t feel right. Plus, him being way too overprotective was not something that you liked in a person. It was heartbreaking since you actually liked him a lot, you could’ve truthfully say you loved the guy.
You didn’t dislike Mark as much as Christian, but he constantly got on your nerves after your break up. But Dani always reminded you how insecure he must’ve been after the fact. Doesn’t excuse his behavior, of course, but it did help keep your anger in check whenever he tried to push your buttons. If he wasn’t such a dick, you probably would’ve seen an actual future with him, that could’ve been happy.
Yeah...you really didn’t want to go to this party. But seeing Dani’s almost pleading face, you couldn’t argue with her.
So, you were dragged to the last party you would attend before Dani and her friends were shipped off to Sweden, until she got back.
You could see the obviously look of annoyance from Christian when you and Dani entered the apartment. He took Dani to the one of the corner’s of the room and you could faintly hear their conversation, “Why’d you have to bring her, Dani? She almost punched me in the nose last time...”
Your fists clenched instinctively, making your nails dig into the soft flesh. It hurt, but at least it kept you from socking the dude in the face like you’ve always had the urge to do. A dull glared expression settled on your face.
“Aw, is someone happy to see me?”
You immediately rolled your eyes when you heard Mark’s voice, him walking up to you with a shit eating grin plastered on his pale freckled face. “No, I think she’s probably thinking up ways to kill you, friend.” Pelle joked, making you smile a little.
“Honestly, he’s not that far off.” You shrugged, half joking.
Mark scoffed, rolling his eyes, brushing off your hurtful comment with a bitter smile. “Why are you even here? We didn’t invite you.”
“I’m here for Dani.”
“Well, we didn’t explicitly invite her either.” Pelle smacked the boy behind his head so you didn’t have to. “Dude, ow! Hey, it’s not my fault Dani’s a buzzkill.”
Almost as if you could only see red, you were about to punch the ever loving fuck out of his handsome stupid gorgeous face when Christian came up and pulled you out of the room.
“What the fuck do you want?” You hissed, forcibly pushing him away from you.
“Hey, hey, hey, I’m not looking for a fight. Okay? I have to ask you something.” He sighed.
“Spit it out then.”
“Do you want to come to Sweden with us?” He asked monotone, not hiding the glare directed to you.
“Wow, you must really want me to go.”
“It was Pelle’s idea. He thinks it would be good for Dani.”
“Since when do you care what’s good for Dani? Oh, wait, you don’t. It seems Pelle cares more for her than you do.”
“I care about Dani, okay? I care. That’s the only reason I was convinced to ask you. Please, just...she needs you. She’s your best friend, you don’t want to let her down, do you?”
Gaslighting. You knew that Christian wouldn’t be able to convince you without his number one douchebag power to make your heart bleed more than it already does. He didn’t even have to ask a second time.
And next thing you knew, you were on a plane headed to Sweden. Of course, they had to torture you with booking you a seat next to Mark. But you could handle it for Dani.
“God, I can’t wait to see all those Swedish ladies.” Mark mused, a slight smirk on his face, knowing that comment would upset you.
If those Swedish ladies had any sense, they’d stay away from the giant man completely, is what you wanted to say. But deciding to keep your comments to yourself, you just tried not to gag, rolling your eyes and keeping your eyes trained out the window, seeing the ground getting farther and farther away until your flying above the clouds.
“Silent treatment, huh? I always took you for a social butterfly.” He teased.
You took a deep breath, turning to look at him with a sickeningly sweet smile. “You do know there’s a mosquito flying around your head, right?”
The smirk on Mark’s face quickly went away, turning into a panicked expression. “Where? Where?” He almost shouted, flailing his arms around his head to swat away the imaginary insect. His panic made you laugh. You felt evil, but you convinced yourself he deserved it. When he heard you laugh, he quickly realized you lied. “Not fucking funny.” He pouted, running his hands through his hair, still paranoid.
You sighed when he kept a frown on his face, still looking around for that fake fly. “I swear, there’s no fly. This is the cleanest plane I’ve ever seen in my life, okay? There wouldn’t be any bugs in here.” You never could stay mean for long, even if it was Mark. The small grateful smile Mark gave you made it worth it, and suddenly felt your heart yearn for him against your will.
Many hours later and you finally arrived in Stockholm, only to be told you guys had to travel four more hours to get to Hälsingland. “Oh my god!” Mark whined, like a little bitch you might add.
Thankfully, you always came prepared, sticking some ear buds in and blasting music at full volume to avoid possible small talk and annoying remarks from the two frat bros. You really loved your preparedness after taking your ear buds out for one second only to hear Mark talking about seeing some video about a woman with three clits, what a moron, a cute moron...
You looked at the time, it was nearing 6 pm, but the sky was still blue as ever. It was a bit unnerving, but you tried to ignore the sense of dread you felt when you guys finally arrived to one of your destinations.
You tried not to laugh as Mark pulled his socks over his jeans and walking in a panic to try to avoid potential insect threats in the grass. “Dude, just fucking walk!” Josh fussed.
“Don’t you see all the bugs?!”
“I’m sure all those bugs are much more terrified of you than you are of them.” You voiced.
“Yeah, well, what if they’re so scared that they gang up to attack me in retaliation, huh?”
You rolled your eyes, speeding up your pace to catch up with Dani. Pelle introduced his friend, Ingemar, and his friends, Simon and Connie. They seemed like good people, until they pulled out the shrooms.
It’s not like you hated drugs, you smoked pot pretty much every other day before bed, but shrooms looked hardcore compared to grass. You did not want to partake. But Dani surprised you when she accepted the offer of the tea. “Do you think that’s a good idea, Dani?” You asked concerned.
“She can think for herself.” Christian voiced with a happy and calm tone, but you didn’t mistake the threatening undertone in his voice.
“Hey, it’s okay. Promise.” Dani reassured. You just didn’t want her to have a bad trip or anything, it’s not what she needed, as if you actually knew what she needed. You didn’t even know what you needed half the time. “Are you going to?” She asked, her hand holding onto the bag of shrooms outstretched to you.
“Oh, no. I’m good.” You backed away slightly.
“Are you sure, Y/N?” Mark asked mockingly. “You gonna be a pussy?”
Your eyes narrowed in annoyance. If only looks could kill...You grabbed the bag, popping a couple mushrooms in your mouth, immediately cringing in disgust at the taste. You chewed quickly and swallowed, almost regretting the action as soon as you did so. Since when was Mark of all people able to successfully peer pressure you into doing something you didn’t want to do? The fuck?
“There’s a nice place to sit over here, guys!” Pelle voiced, motioning the group over to a tree in the middle of the field.
It didn’t take that long for the drugs to kick in. You’d never taken shrooms before, but you definitely noticed when you came up due to how the world around you was starting to look warped, almost like nature was breathing. You felt more appreciative of nature in that moment, and with Pelle talking all philosophical like, it wasn’t hard to relax into the sweet embrace of the drug.
You looked over to Dani, she was the most calm you’ve ever seen her, but you weren’t sure if that was a good thing. You snapped out of the thought, not wanting to hyper focus on a drug. “Oh fuck, a new person.” Christian groaned.
“What? I don’t want new people right now!” Mark whined.
“Now who’s being a pussy.” You mumbled, loud enough for him to hear it.
“I’m going lay down. Everyone else lay down too.” Mark settled on the ground, still breathing heavily. “Guys, do it, it feels so nice. Josh, Y/N, can you lay down please?”
“Fuck off.” You spat while Josh did as he was asked.
“Y/N, please, lay down.” You furrowed your brows when you heard the desperation in his voice, almost like he was going to cry.
“Jesus, fine.” You huffed, laying down on the soft grass.
The sun shining through the leaves of the trees was enough to put you back into a relaxed state, almost giggling at the warped rays of light. “This is nice...” You whispered to yourself.
You jolted when Dani stood up all of a sudden. “I need to go for a walk.” Dani voiced, the waver in her voice clear as day to you.
“Dani, are you okay?” You stood up, wobbling slightly, Dani’s figure waving as she walked away.
“Fine, I’m fine.”
You wanted to follow her, but were you capable enough to give her support if you were high as a kite? It didn’t matter at the point. You probably stood there trying to decide for about five minutes before you actually starting walking in the same direction Dani went, but then it was too late. You didn’t see her anywhere.
Walking into the woods, you immediately got lost in nature, enjoying the colors that seemed to be amplified from the drug. You smiled to yourself, not even the arms wrapping around your shoulders could force your mouth to pull downwards. “Hi.” Mark whispered, giggling as he tightened his embrace.
“What?”
“What?”
You turned yourself around in his arms. “Why’d you follow me?”
“I’m not allowed to see what my friend is doing out in the woods?”
“I’m looking for Dani, and we’re not friends.”
Mark pouted. “We used to be more than friends. Why’d we ever break up?”
You frowned. “Cause you excused Christian’s behavior towards Dani. Plus, you were always a dick.”
“Rude. And to be fair, I’ve been trying to convince Christian to break up with her. They should’ve called it quits awhile ago.”
“The first thing you’ve said in your entire life that’s actually correct. How’re you an undergrad again?”
If you were sober, you would have never let Mark lean in and kiss you. At least, that’s what you hoped you would’ve done. But his lips were so soft and he was so gentle, you almost wished you were sober to experience the kiss better. It almost felt nostalgic in a way, even though it hadn’t been that long since you two broke up. You had to stop yourself from leaning back in for more when he pulled away.
“You reciprocated.” Mark smiled softly, caressing your face gently.
“Did I? I didn’t mean to, sorry.”
“I miss you, Y/N, a lot. I know you miss me too.” He whispered.
You shook your head and quickly walked away, not feeling like talking about...well, your feelings. Sobering up quickly after that, you kicked yourself for allowing that to happen, even if you happened to enjoy it very much.
You pretty much avoided Mark after the encounter in the woods, you were too awkward to confront your problems with other people, in that regard anyway. But thankfully, six hours after finding Dani peacefully sleeping off the drugs, it was time to hike through even more woods to get to Pelle’s village.
“So, we’re stopping in Waco before we go to Pelle’s village?” Mark joked.
Yeah, the all white clothing everyone wore did put you off just a bit, almost giving you Jonestown vibes. But they were so nice, taking your bags and giving you strawberries. They seemed like okay people.
You looked over to Mark, rolling your eyes as you saw him exhale smoke from his vape pen. Even in the presence of strangers, he still had no respect apparently. Josh even had to stop him from eating prematurely during one the first meals of the day. The ritualistic part confused you, but you just wrote it off as culture shock.
Sitting in between Dani and Pelle, you almost hit yourself for not remembering a very important fact. “Happy birthday, Dani!” You grinned. “I can’t believe I forgot, I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, it’s okay.” Dani rubbed your shoulder. “Pelle actually gave me a drawing, which was incredibly sweet.” She said, causing him to have a slight blush on his face.
“I actually did get you something, but it’s in my luggage. Make sure to remind me tonight. But what about Christian?” Dani frowned. “He forgot...of course he did.”
“It’s not his fault. I forgot to remind him, that’s all.”
“Dani, you shouldn’t have to remind him.” You scoffed. “Let’s just hope he remembers soon, else I’ll have to castrate him.”
“Anyway, what’s up with you and Mark? You’ve been avoiding him ever since we hiked here.” She whispered.
You internally groaned. “I always avoid Mark.” Dani just gave you an unimpressed look. “Can you like, stop being a mind reader for once in your life?” You whined.
“What happened?”
You sighed, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “We kissed...” You quickly put your hand over her mouth to stop her from squealing like a school girl. “Shh. It was when we were both high. Didn’t mean anything, at all.”
“You’re a terrible liar, you know that right?”
The conversation didn’t sway your decision to not stop avoiding Mark, you were going to avoid him for as long as possible and not even Dani could convince you to do otherwise. But you kept thinking about that kiss, and you suddenly found yourself wondering if there was any shock therapy places in Sweden.
Walking around the village a bit more by yourself to try and get some more bearings, Pelle joined you with his usual calming smile. “How are you liking it here so far?”
“It’s pretty interesting, I’d say. Living in New York never really gave me opportunities to be in nature, so this is great. I probably never wouldn’t come if it weren’t for you, Pelle.”
Pelle nodded. “I felt it was best for Dani, considering. She needs someone she can count on.”
“Yeah. It’s great that you’re looking out for her, it’s like you should be with her instead of Christian.” You cringed. “Oh god, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Damn it.”
Pelle chuckled nervously. “It’s okay. Speaking of couples, are you and Mark-”
“Nope.” You quickly interrupted. “Not a chance.”
He hummed in thought. “I don’t mean to pry. It’s just, he told me about what happened...”
You groaned. “That little shit.”
"You know, I think you should give him a second chance."
You laughed. "That came out of nowhere."
"No. It didn't. Mark has always had a thing for you. And I probably shouldn’t tell you this but, he always talks about how he regrets how things went between you two. He still cares about you.”
You frowned, the feeling of missing the bastard starting to bubble up in your heart. “We weren’t good for each other. He needs to grow up.”
“Yes, I do agree he’s...a bit immature.”
“An understatement, Pelle.” You snorted.
“Personally, I am a big believer of second chances. I just think what if I die tomorrow, would I be happy with my choices in life? You never know when that time will come.”
“Jesus, since when have you been so dark?”
“I’m serious, Y/N. You don’t know when you’re gonna die, so I’d try to live life without regrets.” He smiled calmly.
You kept thinking about what Pelle said well into the night. You had trouble getting over the creepiness of his statements at first, but you knew he meant well. You did miss Mark, more often than you’d admit. You hated that you kind of agreed with Pelle about the whole regret thing.
The next morning, you woke up with a terrible headache. Thinking way too hard for hours on end wasn’t good for your brain. But, it did give you some perspective on how you’d go about interacting with Mark. You admitted to yourself that you did want to be with him, but you also didn’t want to rush into giving him another chance, knowing that just a smidge of eagerness would give the man an overinflated ego.
“What was the name of that activity you said last night, Pelle?” Dani asked.
“Ättestupa.” He answered.
“Sounds fun.” You said, half joking. “Wish we knew what was going to happened, but you seem to love surprises.” You directed to Pelle, a cheeky smile on your face.
From afar, Mark couldn’t help but glare at Pelle. To anyone one else, you were just being friendly, and if Mark had any sense at all, it would’ve just been a friendly smile to him too. He couldn’t help but feel jealous, but even he knew he had no right to be jealous since you two weren’t together. Maybe that was his problem, he thought, being too overprotective when you were in a relationship with him. God, he knew being an immature bastard would bite him in the ass one day. He just didn’t realize someone important to him would be scared away in the process.
The brief eye contact the two of you made threw you for a loop, that sense of longing for one another.
“Can you two stop eye fucking each other, please?” Josh voiced rudely. Strangely, it didn’t phase the two of you. Josh only rolled his eyes. “Fine. Miss breakfast then.”
You eventually forced yourself to look away from Mark, the both of you following the rest of group outside for the meal. Of course, the only seat left was next to Mark. How convenient...
Mark was silent as you stood next to him, taking short glances at you and the ground nervously. “Somebody should tell those girls they’re walking stupid.” He joked, trying to lift some of the tension. It didn’t work.
A boy rung a bell, an old man and woman walked two their assigned seats, and everyone only sat down until they did. Another rack of culture shock moved through you were the couple started chanting in what you assumed was Swedish, but it was honestly hard to tell.
After that, you just ate your food in silence. You were annoyed that you were too awkward to even look in Mark’s direction. But eventually, he cleared his throat to speak. “Did you sleep well?”
It was odd, hearing him sound so timid and quiet. “Uh, I guess so. I don’t really remember falling asleep.” You chucked nervously.
“So...yesterday-”
“Please, don’t.” You interrupted with a huff.
“I think we should talk about it at least.”
You bit your lip in thought, silently agreeing with him. “Not right now. Maybe after, whatever Ättestupa is. Okay?”
He sighed, nodding his head. “Fine. Fine.”
Mark stayed behind as you, your friends, and the rest of the Hårga journeyed to wherever this activity was taking place. You all were standing at the bottom of a cliff, waiting. “What’s this activity supposed to be?” You asked, but no one gave you an answer.
You sighed, crossing your arms around yourself. Whatever was supposed to happen was taking a long time, you almost felt bored. But soon you really wished you’d stayed behind with Mark back at the village.
Everyone watched as the old woman stood at the edge of the cliff, holding her arms outstretched to the sky. You could sense Dani hyperventilating, and you also felt a feeling of dread. You had no idea what was happening, and it scared you.
You let out a loud gasp as the woman fell from the cliff, her body falling onto a stone platform below, her face hitting it hard enough to completely mutilate any recollection that this woman was a human being once. Her face was caved in, it almost didn’t feel real.
You were in silent shock, not comprehending anything else around you, even with how loud Simon and Connie were freaking out.
All you could do was watch as the old man did the same, walking off the cliff and hitting the platform leg first.
“Oh my god, he’s still alive...”
All of the Hårga cried out when they saw the poor man was still alive, sharing his pain that he must’ve been feeling. A few members of the village ended his suffering, taking a large mallet and caving in his face like his partner in the senicide.
One of the elders, Siv, said that taking their own lives was a great joy and that this ritual had been done for many years. You couldn’t believe how barbaric these people were when they were so nice at first. Why were all these people so unfazed by seeing their own people die violently in front of them?
All you could do was follow everyone to the village in silence. You did the same as Dani. You needed to be by yourself right now. You sped walked to the woods surrounding the village, leaning against a tree in exhaustion. Did that really happen, you asked yourself.
You slid down to the ground as you let the tears start flowing. You didn’t want to be in this place anymore, how could you? You thought back to what Pelle said. He knew that the ritual was happening and he didn’t warn you guys at all. Why would he do that?
“Y/N?” You heard a voice call out. You didn’t answer, you didn’t trust your voice not to come out distorted from your sobbing. Finally making his way through the clearing, Mark saw you hugging yourself on the ground in tears. “Are you okay? I...heard about what happened.”
“No. No, I am not okay. I just saw two people jump to their fucking deaths!” You tried not to cry.
Mark was never good an emotional support, so he simply walked over and sat next to you as you cried. You didn’t know how he managed to pull you onto his lap without you noticing, but you didn’t find it in yourself to care, so you just held onto him like your life depended on it. You didn’t want him to let you go.
“I wanna leave this place...” You mumbled.
“I think that’s understandable.”
“How’s Dani? Did you see her at all?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“I don’t want to leave without her. I gotta find her.” You wiped the leftover tears from your cheeks, standing up with along with Mark. “Will you come with us?”
Mark didn't expect you to ask that. “You want me to go with you?”
“I have a bad feeling about this place. I don’t want any one of us to stay here, but I want you and Dani to come with me at least. I...I still care about you too.” Mark blushed as soon as you said that, making you chuckle lightly. “Seeing those poor people die...I don’t want to live with regrets, I already have enough of those. I don’t want to give up on us without trying to make things work. I admit, I gave up on you too easily. I don’t want to do that again. Okay?”
Mark couldn’t help himself, he soon planted a passionate kiss on your lips. You smiled into the kiss, you weren’t afraid of opening yourself up to him anymore. You wanted him, you’ve always wanted him. It just took a rough wake up call to remind you of that.
You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, standing on your tip toes to meet his lips easier. You felt safe in his arms, him holding you so close that the world and the messed up situation you both were in seemed to fade away. But you knew you were limited on time. You both pulled away breathlessly, wearing smiles on your faces.
“I love you.” Mark said, shocking you. “What? Live life without regrets, right?”
You laughed softly. “Yeah, you’re right. I love you.”
“Now, let’s get outta here.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, I left it open ended on purpose. I’d like to think that they escaped the Hårga. But if they didn’t, at least they’re together lmao.
Whenever I feel bad that Mark died in the movie, I just think to how he must’ve put up a fight since that cunt who led him away had a busted lip. Did he deserve it? Yes, probably. But...but...he was a cutie pie🥺
Also, I’m trying to write a fic with Kenny from We’re The Millers, but IT’S SO HARD. Kenny, in general, is hard to write since he’s so...well...himself. Another thing is that the plot is all over the place and my mind keeps bouncing between a bunch of ideas so, it’s literally starting to look like gibberish. But i’m trying
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@sunheart wrote in her tags on another post:
Genuinely hate being alive ... I completely understand on so many levels why you would hate being a woman. Its horrible. And then as a Christian there's this whole really ugly dynamic- that i know is probably a lie i just haven't worked out how yet- that we're the 2nd best. The afterthought. The mediocre option. Almost everything in life men are better at and it's hard to believe it's just cultural- math logic leadership writing cooking writing physical activities on and on, and women are good at being Nice :) Which ok i like being nice but it's like that's my only option I feel like any other impact i might wish to have upon the world will be paltry in comparison to what i could do if only i was a man. I feel incompetent. Irrational. Emotional. Obnoxious. I feel like I'm supposed to be a plaything for the beings that were *actually* created to be in harmony with God like I'm not supposed to have a connection with God- only through my husband which what does that make me as a single childless bitch? I can't even fulfill the main point of my existence. Jesus interacted with women but did he care about them like he did the men? David and John were named his favorites not Deborah or Hannah. And like i said i'm sure none of that's true but i don't know how and it feels awful. hate it.
Hopefully others have shared encouragement on this already, but just in case I wanted to give some thoughts. Please know that if I sound riled at all (and I’m going to try to avoid that) I’m not upset at anyone who feels this way but am deeply upset by the enemy’s lies that so many are hurt by. As a younger believer I did struggle with some of these questions myself, and for a long time it was difficult to reconcile these concerns with the promises that God loves me.
Your instincts are right - it is a lie that women are second best. And before I go any further let me also agree that yes, we are physically weaker than men and have other weaknesses too. But since when has weakness meant that someone is any way “less than” others? Men have weaknesses too, just different ones. That’s the nature of humanity: every person is a mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses. I’ve never heard before that men are better at cooking?? My dad literally struggles to cook a hotdog in the microwave and has never touched a grill in his life. And okay men may (possibly, not sure on this one either) be inherently better at math, but which gender is drastically underrepresented in the nursing field? I suspect there are fewer male teachers, too, though not as huge a disparity. Men are more prone to recklessness and violence - part of the reason married men live longer (gotta get that stable influence). Again yes men are physically stronger but have you watched ballet dancers (oooh i mean ballerinas, sorry there’re so few ballerinos that I forgot to differentiate) or female gymnasts? Nothing “less than” there! The famous Proverbs 31 woman is a good insight into Biblical support of female abilities and value: “strength and dignity are her clothing”, “she opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” “Let her works praise her in the gates.” (The gates were essentially the city hall or forum of ancient Israel.)
Going back to the beginning - women were created second, true. But did God not know His own plan? He was always going to create women. And the really amazing thing that I learned in the last couple of years is that, when God says He’s going to make Adam “a helper” (Hebrew ”ezer”), that’s the same word that is used to describe God’s actions for His people throughout the Old Testament:
- Exodus 18:4 “The God of my father was my help.”
- 1 Samuel 7:12 “Ebenezer” means “rock of help” and is a memorial of Yaweh’s help.
- Psalm 30:10 “Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, be my helper!”
- Psalm 115:11 “You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord, He is their help and their shield”
- Psalm 121:2 “My help comes from the Lord”
- Hosea 13:9 “‘You are against Me, against your helper.’“
It is a common word for “help” used in other settings, yes, but the fact that it’s used of God illustrates that this is no poor or second-rate role. Helping - aiding - supporting - incredibly important! In fact this article I just found puts it this way:
In two cases it refers to the first woman, Eve, in Genesis 2. Three times it refers to powerful nations Israel called on for help when besieged. In the sixteen remaining cases the word refers to God as our help. He is the one who comes alongside us in our helplessness. That's the meaning of ezer. Because God is not subordinate to his creatures, any idea that an ezer-helper is inferior is untenable. In his book Man and Woman: One in Christ, Philip Payne puts it this way: "The noun used here [ezer] throughout the Old Testament does not suggest 'helper' as in 'servant,' but help, savior, rescuer, protector.'
Moving on to the New Testament, and the topic of John, who is known as “the disciple whom Jesus loved”. John is the one who wrote the book which tells us that (under the direction of the Holy Spirit, yes) and he only uses that wording as a title, in place of his name. Nowhere does it say he was the favorite disciple, or even most loved, just that he was loved. To me it seems more as if John is saying “Jesus loved me! Can you believe it?!” It has a feeling of awe and thankfulness as opposed to superiority.
Getting into marriage specifically, I do believe that a wife should be under the headship of her husband ...mainly in the sense of letting him have the last word on decisions and plans. This is in part due to differing areas of strength, and in part because in some situations it’s better to have a family leader - most groups of humans need a leader, and following an assigned (or picked) leader does not make one inferior. All that being said, a wife should be able to provide input, advice, and feedback to her husband, who should take into strong consideration his wife’s needs, insights, and concerns (Ephesians 5:25-29).
The lie that women cannot be connected to God outside of their husband is refuted not only by all the vibrantly faithful single or windowed Christian ladies of history (Amy Carmichael, Gladys Aylward, Mary Slessor, and Elisabeth Elliot are some of my favorites) but also Scripture itself. When Christ spoke with the divorced Samaritan woman the disciples were shocked not because she was a Samaritan but because she was a woman (John 4:27; she was shocked on both counts - John 4:9) - I hope they got used to it because Jesus spoke with women a lot. Despite the culture of the time, Jesus clearly had very warm and caring direct relationships with Martha and Mary, Mary Magdalene, and other women. Anna the Prophetess in the temple had been widowed for decades and was serving God alone “night and day” (Luke 2:37). Incredibly, in a culture where women were looked down upon, the Lord chose women to be the first to discover the empty tomb, and Mary Magdalene to be the first to see the risen Christ! I love that passage so much (John 20:11-18).
Another example is when Jesus stopped on His way to heal Jairus’ daughter (i.e. He put aside a powerful man’s urgent request) to lovingly interact with the woman who’d suffered bleeding for years - a terribly personal and female problem (Mark 5:21-35).
To try to wrap up, I’ll return to David in the OT, who was a “man after God’s own heart”. But again, it doesn’t say that he was actually a favorite - it does say David was chosen by God though, to lead Israel and establish the family from which Jesus would ultimately come. You know who else was chosen? Esther - “for such a time as this”. Once she realizes the task she must complete, she tells Mordecai how it’s going to go, and “Mordecai then went away and did everything Esther had ordered him.” Esther gets a book named after her and is remembered in the holiday of Purim to this day. Also note that Esther was married to an unbeliever. Likewise Ruth was chosen, as a young foreign widow, to be part of the Messiah’s kingly line. As an aside, my favorite thing about Ruth’s story (besides all the faith and beauty of it) is the simultaneous deep respect and protectiveness Boaz shows towards her (okay enough mush). Anyhow what it comes down to is that God chooses and loves both men and women, and both have a place (singly and married) in His plans and kingdom. See also Galatians 3:28 “ There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
This post has all over the place, and I probably forgot a bunch of things I wanted to add (if anything else comes to mind I’ll add it later), but I hope it’s been encouraging. Yes I’ve struggled with some aspects of how women are portrayed in the Bible, but what I shared above, plus the love and blessings I’ve known as a single woman are more than enough evidence that we are known and loved. If anything is unclear or anyone has any questions please speak out/send an ask! Anon asks are on too. Also if anyone wants to add or amend anything do so without hesitation!!
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✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D
Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////
This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ‘keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here.
✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇
I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.
So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.
Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle).
And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao
✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘
As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo
And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.
Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.
But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?
Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.
Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well
✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒)
Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???
So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).
Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.
On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.
But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.
✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍
AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.
I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!
#hxh#hunter x hunter#hxh edit#hxh fanart#gon#killua#hisoka#kurapika#gon freecss#killua zoldyck#chrollo#chrollo lucilfer#kurapika kurta#hisoka morow#chimera ant arc#chimera ants#yorknew#yorknew city#shaiapouf#pouf#neferpitou#pitou#meruem#komugi#youpi#hxh analysis#hxh meta#hunter x hunter fanart#hxh graphics#my art
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okay- if one were say, doing their history rsr (im assuming you know what that is? if not- history leaving cert project) on the morrigan/ways she was worshipped- what direction would they go in to find sources?
okay so unfortunately for you we have no sources whatsoever that would tell us how she was worshipped or even if she was worshipped at all. this is the same for basically all of the irish mythological characters/gods. we simply don't have that information. it doesn't exist. sorry, this is disappointing to a lot of people.
since all of our literary evidence is christian and post-dates any worship of these figures by centuries (often many centuries), we don't know to what extent the literary depictions resemble any original gods at all, and we don't have sufficient archaeological evidence that we can interpret as religious in order to get a better sense of what veneration might have looked like if it happened
so. that's a bummer for you.
but i have sources on like. the morrigan as she appears in literary material -- not sure what the requirements are to make a project sufficiently historical but i'm sure there are angles you could take. and on the plus side, she's one of the more convincing mythological figures who seems to have an existence in the imagination outside literary sources, which is always fun.
(there are a few characters who seem to have been invented just to fill out triads / explain patronymics / solve a problem for the scribe; she's not one of them.)
first, for finding sources, if this is intended as a historical project then ignore anything about modern polytheist and neopagan approaches, because these are, well, modern, so that's going to mislead you. reconstruction could be interesting to research in its own right, but it's not at all helpful for trying to get to grips with historical material and it's likely just to send you down misleading rabbitholes. also ngl there's a lot of misinformation floating around a lot of those circles online: some folks are good with sources, but others will parrot something they read in an 80s "celtic goddesses" book that never had the slightest shred of evidence in the first place. not what you want for a history project!
also avoid anything that claims to have all the answers, because that's usually bullshit. if you have access to jstor or similar academic materials, that's a good place to start, although most of what i'm about to drop below isn't on there. if you don't, time to make a friend with benefits (library access). avoid anything that's TOO old -- a lot of 19th century writings about mythological stuff are utter bullshit, partly because they were working with incomplete versions of texts. and they always bowdlerise stuff in their retellings e.g. cut out the sex and the weird fuckery, which paints a super misleading picture.
i realise you are only doing a school project and not an academic thesis and there is a difference, but also i used a bunch of shitty sources in my EPQ (extended project qualification, i guess probably a similar thing but in the UK) and nobody ever really taught me how to evaluate them for reliability so i try and pass the message on.
a few directions:
mark williams "ireland's immortals: a history of the gods of irish myth" is a good book to start getting to grips with (a) what the mythological material actually says and (b) why it's challenging to work with, as well as (c) some of the ways it's been interpreted over time that lead to some of the pop culture depictions you see. doesn't have a huge amount about the morrigan specifically
angelique gulermovich epistein's thesis "war goddess: the morrigan and her gemano-celtic counterparts" is probably the most thorough treatment you're going to see of the morrigan. i don't agree with everything in it bc i'm chronically unmythological, but it's likely your best starting point for getting a sense of her appearances in the sources. there's a version of this available online but the formatting's fucky which makes it hard to reference, so let me know if you can't find a decent copy.
john carey has a number of articles about mythological stuff including an old one called "notes on the irish war goddess". this is in the journal eigse which can be hard to find online; i have it, so let me know if you need access
michael clarke's article "demonology, allegory and translation: the furies and the morrígan" is a fascinating take on the reference in the tain to the morrigan as equivalent to the fury allecto, and discusses the impact of classical texts on irish material. this is in "classical literature and learning in medieval irish narrative" which is a great book but may not be easy to get your hands on. again. let me know, i think i have a scan of this somewhere. a shitty scan, but it's better than nothing.
that's everything i can think of right now, though you can always comb the references in those to find more things so it should be plenty to going on with
good luck!
#this goes for everyone really but if you need an article i've mentioned#you can email me with my twitter handle @ gmail.com#(my twitter handle is also my ao3 username)#i am putting these extra steps of detective work in to avoid getting people spamming me#but it should be pretty easy to find#anyway. you can also DM me but i'll need your email address to send you stuff#i am going to be losing academic library access by the end of this year so i'm scanning shit#and trying to make sure i have anything that could be useful lol#answered#anonymous#the morrigan#medieval irish#irish mythology
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