#character analysis is pretty fun in this fandom. you get to hold up pieces and puzzle out how they fit.
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Narinder and his relationship to the bishops. What caused their falling out?
The game tells you everything you need to know... (Spoiler, it was Leshy)
"Hapless Leshy" is how Haro describes them. And that just means he's very unlucky, unfortunate... doomed.
Leshy is the youngest god, the god of Chaos and flux. For a lot of people when they imagine Chaos, they think of something ever changing, a sensory overload that's never consistent and with no repeating patterns. Constant change.
Notably, Narinder doesn't have anything bad to say about him. His dialogue is limited to one line. "Leshy fell before you like a grain of sand before a tidal wave." Considering how verbose Narinder usually is this should strike you as odd. He comments about how happy he is with seeing the others fall, but not Leshy. He even holds himself in check if you do something that really upsets him, like sell out Ratau (cough cough) but he can't bring himself to demean leshy in the same way, nor celebrate at all.
He should be a natural ally to Narinder, who wanted change. And yet he's not.
"He was unalike the rest of his kin. While others dealt with flux; chaos, famine, pestilence, war. Things in which their constancy must transpose. And yet he was the inevitable; the obstinate and irresistible. The one who waits. Truly peculiar, 'twould then seem, has appetency to invite the novel and the new, break ancient vow and primordial bond alike. Traditions stagnate and appetites augment, nonetheless. Doubt tears faith asunder."
Switching between two states: change, is the natural order of things, Leshy should be inviting chaos, causing it... And there lies the problem.
Bonds of familial duty, turned instead to chains. Most voracious of appetites, curbed and contained. Most infectious of ideas cut off and cauterised before given chance to rot and spread. Cruel, verily. Alas, what other recourse was given? How does one kill Death? ... Alas. One cannot."
The final lines imply that they sacrificed their power, their growth, to stop Narinder, but what if it wasn't him they were doing it for?
Hear me out. Leshy is the youngest and the weakest, it could be that his powers couldn't handle the rate at which things were changing. If so, then he would only be an obstacle to Narinder. At first it would be fine, but if Leshy didn't get better, if the bishops couldn't cause meaningful change, new things, if change itself was making him sick and "Doubt tears faith asunder": wouldn't it be the one to "break ancient vow and primordial bond alike" be first in line for having the blame cast on them?
We don't have a clear idea on what shenainigains Narinder was up to, but both he and Shamura tell us one thing he was working on.
"The blame hangs heavy 'round my neck. I introduced him to ideas of change..." ".... Death cannot flow backward."
Bringing the dead back to life.
He praises you for doing so in response to one of his quests on his quest line. But that's not to say it's all he was working on.
--
Hang tight, because this bit is up for interpretation:
These guys.
Cute mushroom guys that infect you and try to turn you into a mushroom too, and once you die you can be replanted, again and again and again and again and a- its basically immortality!
They live in Narinder's domain, and yet they are Menticide Mushrooms from Anura given a follower form. They are unnatural, and fiercely hunted when they visit there, so they are not endemic to the area. If Narinder was playing with Nature's laws, turning mushrooms into people, or people into mushrooms, then what's to say he wasn't trying it on anything else?
Like say maybe... plants?
Yes.
Now technically a lot of enemies you fight have plant like features, so many in fact that it's like they were mass produced, existing everywhere except the silk cradle: Shamura's domain of war.
Now these plant creatures fight for the bishops, but that's not to say they are natural. We get normal frogs, insects, fish, etc, but we only get these plant-like worm followers after Leshy turns them into plant like creatures. I don't believe you can randomly happen across them. Perhaps these constructs were originally developed to ensure protection of his siblings, something to prevent them from wasting followers on defending their realms from weaker gods. Or launching assaults. After all, don't many people have a primordial bond to the land they grew up on? Having your favourite tree attack you would suck.
While maybe not a direct result of Narinder, although I wouldn't put it past him to look at a worm and crown and go "oh this'll be funny", I think it's possible that no other plant creature developed consciousness, that Leshy is special, unique, alone.
Perhaps everyone had different ideas on how to help him.
It's up to personal preference the order of events and the degree of sentience the plant enemies have, and thus the mental age of leshy when he became a god, but I'm inclined to think that Narinder still considers Leshy his baby brother, one who would be spared if he could.
(He also made the undead enemies you fight but that's probably obvious.)
But this is all speculation, entities like the gold loving tree exist, so there could be old entities that are plant based kicking around. And the mushrooms could just be from the giant dead god skull being a god of decay. It's hard to know for sure.
It'd be so funny if we could plant that mushroom and grow a giant god. Unlikely though.
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So Leshy's existence is unprecedented, Chaos itself to many who see him. But why doesn't chaos help him? Narinder speaks about the "unordered beauty of his realm..." and his attack patterns are technically random, but most Bishops speak on their domain a lot.
Leshy doesnt.
"Winds of change blow; dost thou sense it? Around us, the world creaks and turns. Afore, it stood immobile. Motionless centuries grow rust. Now leshy has fallen..."
His domain was stagnant. Leshy is concerned with Narinder being a heretic, and thus you, because your rituals don't align with the old faith's practices. But since those "traditions stagnate", it makes sense why he is the least revered among his siblings, his grasp on the order, what those rituals are supposed to bring, isn't that good. He's probably just doing them because he's supposed to without understanding the greater purpose of them.
"The worm, it is hungry. It feeds. It partakes of our flesh. But that is the price for safety. For that we gladly give it all we have."
His average followers don't even use his name, or maybe they aren't really his followers at all? It's hard to know for sure.
"I recall Leshy. Prior to yourself, he was the last to bargain with me. Adept as he was, he rose quickly to the challenges of Godhood, aided by his siblings. Many were drawn to his chaotic ways"
He was helped out a lot by his siblings, likely to the point he would have died if he was alone.
do Narinder's siblings really think Narinder could have attempted to kill leshy after being perhaps monumental in causing his existence?
Part 2: yep.
Narinder says that Shamura "could never handle the multitudes of a being such as I" (paraphrased. I'm lazy.) Which we are to take as a statement on what he wanted to attempt with his power. With the sins of the flesh update however it might not be that simple.
Sup you slithery bastard.
What's key here is listening to how the other bishops talk about Narinder. Leshy refers to him as a heretic, Heket as a monster they chained below, Shamura as a brother and Narinder.
They used the term red crown for him, but with the notion of it's own independence Kallamar becomes the most relevant.
Kallamar: "Shamura, the Red Crown grows stronger by the day. Already it has succeeded where he has failed before. Leshy has been slain!"
There's a collective understanding of who "he" is. Narinder. But it is interesting that Kallamar never directly uses the term to refer to Narinder, only using pronouns. Isn't the vessel's success Narinder's success? This makes it sound like the red crown is an entity of its own, succeeding where Narinder failed, at least in Kallamar's mind.
It should be noted that Kallamar doesn't refer to you as the red crown during the events of the game. You are the vessel of it. Then when he needs to insult you, critter, beast. Then as a final plea, lamb. Before that however, after he figures out you arent leaving he tries to bargin with the crown directly.
It seems you cannot be stopped by disease or hunger. And he sends you back from death stronger each time. Please know, it was not my idea to cast out the Red Crown! The other Bishops, my siblings, the blame lies with them. Please, I beg you, spare me. Kill Shamura, but do not send me to my death. Do not send me to him!
Then finally, in post game, likely before seeing Kallamar again, when you have gathered enough sin the seller will ask you:
"I have dealt with Gods, and often pondered; does the Bearer wear the Crown, Or the Crown the Bearer?"
"Stay back! Stay away! Mercy, Red Crown, mercy..."
Of course once you have him as s follower and he realises you are not walking puppet for damnation personified he chills out.
According to the seller "Foolish though he may have seemed, he wielded the power of his Crown without discrimination." Meaning Kallamar might have the most experience with how screwy the crown may be on the minds of followers, and potentially gods if Chemach is anything to go by.
In this sense Kallamar might be the only one who believes Narinder to be innocent- in the sense that he was not in his right mind when he did whatever it was that made the bishops think he was trying to kill leshy- imagining him to be under some kind hypnosis, unable to tell friend from foe. So he always separates the two just in case. That being said, the need to imprison him for was probably encouraged by him.
Of course this all relies on the "he" mentioned being Narinder and not like Ratau or something. Kallamar does know him by name, weirdly enough. "Your friend Ratau was the last vessel sent against us," which begs the much funnier question that how does he know his name? Did they talk? Did Ratau just scream an introduction before every fight? Presumably that was decades ago Kallamar how do you even remember?
Not the worst ship I've seen.
All fun aside, some of Heket's lines can also be interpreted this way.
Heket: "So it is true. The Red Crown sits upon the brow of another."
"The Bishops… my family. Have they not suffered enough? Have I not suffered enough? We fought, pathetic vessel. We bled. We grieved. And yet the Red Crown wants more. No more."
"Pathetic, sniveling, vile puppet to the Red Crown. You have felled the youngest of us. We are the Bishops of the Old Faith. We protect against heresies such as yours. /....We will not tolerate such blasphemy. Your sins are many, and for that y... "
"You there, vessel of the Red Crown! Bow to me, or you will regret it!"
"It was not so long ago that we cast out the Red Crown. A mere thousand or so years. The heresy it preached could not be tolerated. Such noxious ideals... it could not be allowed. For this most damning of sins_"
The mention of sins and heresy is interesting because more less or we just got here. There's the idea that the crown itself is heretical, perhaps not just as a symbol. Since you know, it tells us to gather sin. But of course, in typical play you have murdered her followers in at least four crusades against Leshy then her so, plenty of heresy and sin there.
Theres no much we can gleam about Narinder's actions, but her dialogue suggests her battle with Narinder stemmed from what he wanted to accomplish/his vision for the future, rather than any attempts on Leshy's life- at least not directly- and considering Narinder says "Heket's words were more toxic and foul than the mushrooms that grew in her domain." I think they may have fought over policy and doctrine a lot. After all, nothing would be so wounding to Narinder than himself to be wrong and someone else to be right.
He calls her "arrogant" but Haro called her "temperamental". The two may not conflict, since haro also says she's "afeared by none" which is to say scared by nothing, not that in her rule nobody was scared of her. The seller calls her "vicious" and a "wicked beast", but also amusing in a way, which I'm more inclined to believe is him saying she was annoyingly persistent in trying to get past him into his portal thing than any form of true disdain. Then again she might have just eaten the god tears to see what they do instead of trading them. So many fun possibilities.
That being said, how do we reconcile Kallamar's belief that Narinder tried to kill Leshy with Heket's main complaint being his ideas?
Shamura.
Part 3: the tl;dr.
Shamura introduced Narinder to change, but according to Haro this should have been something he already knew from being around his siblings since their domains "transpose". Famine: feed. Plague: cure. War: peace. Chaos: order. So this has to be something different.
Shamura's domain used to be knowledge but now she is known for war. Her aspect changed, and it's likely this is what she means.
Narinder wanted to change Leshy's aspect. It would solve all his problems, allowing his other siblings to experiment instead of just stamping out anything new. Once he was set on his course Shamura couldn't stop him.
If leshy was already struggling and tried listening to Narinder and changing how everyone saw him, already having issues with cult management, this could have killed him. A god is nothing without followers. If Narinder started his plan without letting Leshy know, it definitely could have killed him.
The plan would require everyone's cooperation to work, rituals rewritten and spreading word of the change fast enough to keep it from being changed back. Shamura would have argued against it, noting issues that if brushed off by nari would set off Heket and they'd argue viciously, probably about Narinder's character and how callous ignoring the risks are. If Kallamar was put on the spot, already being a cowardly person he wouldn't be of any help. And the fight would continue.
It's possible leshy would have tried it just to stop his siblings, and done catastrophic damage to himself. After all, he's the only one who is said to eat the sacrifices directly. It's possible whatever happened forced him to need to eat food, something the gods usually don't bother with.
This would have cemented his belief in the rules as they are now, instead of however lax he may have been before. He may have liked the mushroomos or learning to make plant people before then and might have been the only one who was interested in what Narinder was doing and not trying to stop it.
You may think yourself righteous in your service to HIM. But you should not be so trusting of the Chained One.
He's the only one to comment on how your quest could be perceived as the right thing to do. He's been there himself and suffered for it.
Even so, Camellia still grows in the dark woods. They are the flowers that grow around any red crown rooms you may find, making them explicitly tied to Narinder.
And with Narinder's inability to celebrate his demise....
They couldn't quite bring themselves to hate the other.
#cult of the lamb#cotl narinder#cotl shamura#cotl leshy#cotl kallamar#cotl heket#cotl#cotl bishops#add it to the list#character analysis is pretty fun in this fandom. you get to hold up pieces and puzzle out how they fit.#cotl ratau#salty art
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Love you blog, thanks for your posts. I'm kinda tired with "war-fandom", where each side like "Mine are better, yours are suck" (especially in twitter). Like, when I said that now I love JJK, some of my anime/manga moots like, "Why love that? One Piece & Hunter x Hunter are waayyy better?" or "CSM > JJK" And I was "Why can't I love all of them? All things have strength and weakness...." (in the end I block them). And don't get me started with shounen vs shoujo fandom, like why people love to spread hate just to say what they like are better.....
Sorry for my rant, just want to say, love your blog.... 🤩
Also, what are your opinions about shipping in fandom (especially shounen & seinen)? I don't really have a shipper heart, but even I get it (the power of bromance)....And yes, I'm so happy about Kenjaku/Takaba, I'm surprised that even in the end, Kenjaku did not blame Takaba.....
Thank you anon this message is so nice, I'm happy you enjoy my dumb ramblings here🤧 And yeah I get what you mean with this competitive nature in constantly comparing shonen, which on one hand I get and I do to a certain extent as well, these series are in the same genre and can share a lot of similarities. And I think each series can have different strengths and weaknesses while still being good (an example being if I were to compare JJK and One Piece, generally I think JJK has way better fights while I think One Piece is a little bit more consistent in fully fleshing out most/all characters we see. I still like both a lot). I think it's partly facilitated by the this culture of having a "big three" shonen series, both in the fighting of what's better between naruto one piece and bleach but also where a lot of people are trying to create a new big three with recent shonen. Which. It's fine but ultimately a little silly in my opinion lmao. Unfortunately being a fan of a lot of different shonen, at some point you kinda just have to accept the people who treat the genre as a dick measuring contest and not much more. And oof don't get me started on shonen vs. shojo (which as a big fan of both...let's just say it's not typically the shojo fans who are being terrible...).
And oh, what an interesting question about shipping, I guess I hadn't thought about it too much before but I'm quickly realizing I have Opinions on the matter the more I think on it lmao. Generally I'm pretty positive on shipping, where I don't think it's the end all be all in any series, but it is a tool one can use to put a new lens on character dynamics, and I think that's fun and interesting! Taking a pair like Takaba and Kenjaku, I think this is a really good pair to look at because it's clear they have a connection, right? They fundamentally understand each other at a level nobody has, maybe ever (and isn't that insane on Kenjaku's part?! He's been alive for a 1000 years!) And I think you can color the dynamic in different ways and get really interesting yet different results, are they like brothers? friends? lovers? soulmates? Is their connection platonic, sexual, or an actual love? It's up to you! This kind of analysis has been done since literally ancient times (Greek concepts of love with Eros, Agape, and Philia), so I guess I get a little confused when shonen fans are against shipping entirely?
A series that features Big Fight with BIG Punch can still have layered and complex characters that hold love for each other, and people interpreting it as romantic is not weird or gross or even fetishizing in my opinion (that's a whole can of worms that might warrant an entirely new post lmao). I think a good example is Satosugu. They certainly aren't explicitly romantic, but there is a lot of subtext within JJK that imply they might have romantic feelings for each other. But some JJK fans are just so weirdly disgusted by this concept of...gay people existing in their media? That they SCREAM from the rooftops that "they're like brothers! 100% straight!" And it's like...we could have a good conversation here! Interpreting them as brothers is just as valid I think as shipping them, but you gotta explain why. And I've seen some fans say "Hey their relationship reminds me of my relationship with my brother/best friend or there's Scene A and B that makes me think they're platonic and that's how i interpret it, with no romance." And as long as they aren't shitting on people who ship Satosugu, this is completely respectable to me. But I'm going to respect a shipper who just thinks they're both hot when they stand next to each other way more over someone who clearly is just uncomfortable with the idea of two fictional men or women being interpreted as having a romantic relationship lmao.
Shipping culture is certainly not perfect, but generally I think it's just a harmless fun hobby that can inspire people to make really cool art in all different forms, and, speaking as someone currently studying history, shipping has probably been going on since at least 4000 years ago when the Epic of Gilgamesh dropped in ancient Mesopotamia with Gilgamesh/Enkidu so I just think people, particularly shonen fans, are wasting their breath throwing a fit about it and acting as if shipping is this new evil gay phenomena that's poisoning their battle action series.
#sorry the last line is kinda stupid akljsldl but i stand by it#thank you for the ask i love sharing my opinions on a wide range of topics lmao <3#asks
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I love ur art!!!! really its so gorgeous and the style brings me sm joy, its so soft and cute!! and ofc fem ntsmg is THE GOAT!!!!!!
BUT I JUST WANNA ALSO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HOW U ANSWER ASKS AND STUFF AND IDK JUST UR WHOLE PERSONALITY IN GENERAL?? I love reading ur text posts especially when u kinda analyze the characters and stuff like its so fun to read and tbh, both natsume and tsumugi are characters that I feel are often mischaracterized in the fandom, and like idk I feel like u get them so perfectly and its sooo !??!?! Awesome getting to read ur awesome takes when new events come out and stuff like YOURE SO RIGHT ABT EVERYTHING, i be reading ur posts and going "you!!! YOU FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!" *happy stimming*
if you honestly did like a proper character analysis for them one day just now i would be so here for it and read it over and over again probably. Im currently hyperfixating RLY HARD on ntsmg so sometimes i just go through ur entire text post/ask tag and read everything over and over again 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THIS BLOG IN GENERAL KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING, YOURE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND VERY MUCH BASED USER NATSMAGI!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️
OIUGOHGOOHH OH MY GODDDDD ANONNNNNNNN THIS IS SO SWEET I HARDLY EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME 🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
im a very chatty person so im very glad u like hearing what i have to say 🥺!!! and im glad u like my personality too since i feel i can come off as harsh or arrogant sometimes AKJHFSKJH THOUGH TBF I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE KIND......
ID LOOOVE TO ANALYZE NTMG MORE !!! main reason i dont do it as often or hold myself back a bit is because admittedly its been a While since i read alot of the stories, a majority of which i have only read once, and when i make actually Proper analyzes i like to have reread the material and see if i maybe misinterpreted something on my first read or am misremembering, bc when given new info other interactions can be read differently and all that. and i also wanna actually do them justice and not accidentally spread misinfo AJHSFKJH AND I UNFORTUNATELY HAVENT HAD THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO DO THIS </3 but even without remembering every single piece of dialogue verbatim i like to think my grasp on them is still somewhat decent, and im very glad u like my interpretations 🥺❤️
it always makes me so incredibly happy when people view the characters similarly to me aswell bc like u mentioned they Are kinda prone to getting mischaracterized in some ways...... i think it mainly comes from both natsume and tsumugi having MANY factors to their characters though, and the mischaracterization comes from only highlighting one aspect of them and failing to think about how their different attributes overlap (although this can probably be said for the entire cast tbh). like an easy example that im sure everyone gets by now is natsumes little tsundereisms. if you only focus on him being rude to tsumugi it can look like hes just some edgy guy with anger management issues, but when you take into account other factors such as him having a rather spoiled upbringing both by his parents and nii-sans, and his distaste towards feeling "weak" (also caused by his upbringing, since he was frail as a child and raised as a girl) you start to see that oh. alot of that is just him being defensive and emotionally immature. since he had such a comfortable upbringing those hints of discomfort and vulnerability are threatening to him as someone who always had everything handed to him. and when you dont know how to deal with situations like that ASWELL as being afraid of being seen as "weak" youre Gonna start resorting to harsher words and sometimes even get physical because you have no clue how else to handle this. its also why the natsumes character consists of him being pretty obsessed with "growing up" and "not being a kid anymore," because he knows how immature he could be SKHDGJH he doesnt have bad intentions he just. doesnt know how to be vulnerable with people
#IM VERY GLAD U LIKE MY THOUGHTS SO MUCH AWAWA#THESE LIL GUYS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME SO IT ALWAYS MAKES ME VERY HAPPY WHEN I GET TO TALK ABOUT THEM WITH PEOPLE...........#❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#ask
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niki tries new things!
So, just to let y’all know what I’ve been into the past few months, I decided to make a list. some of these things haven’t changed from the past but others have! so if you see me reblogging more about the new things you don’t have to be startled at all :)
A) things 🍑 I still enjoy:
word of honor & faraway wanderers : I don’t think that’s ever gonna change tbh. I’m still writing a long fic for woh and I plan to at least get another one finished for the fandom before taking a break from creating for it. I had one more in store, but it’s becoming oddly personal and I think I’ll work on it in my spare time and possibly never post it, who knows!;
winter begonia : I fell in love with the drama and I’m still reading the novel that it was based on, so of course I’m gonna stick to them for a very long time! I have a long wip in place and another planned for the drama, but they require a lot of research and I’m collecting various pieces of information to give them justice. so I may be on hold in the fandom but not forever!;
other various danmei novels/shows: I’m still waiting on winner is king drama to air :( so you can see me ranting about sha po lang in equal measure. then there’s golden stage, my absolute love, and lord seventh :D so yay for that!;
good omens : the love is resurfacing due to the new season creeping in on us, but it never quite left in the first place. expect more content on the ineffable husbands and their unruly children >:) cannot wait!;
welcome to night vale : I want to pick up the podcast again! :( but I’m a perfectionist at heart and I cannot fathom skipping episodes! so I will have to plan my listening schedule accordingly. wish me luck!;
B) things 👯♀️ I don’t quite enjoy anymore:
the untamed & mdzs : I’m sorry but... it’s not doing it for me anymore ;-; which is sad bc I made good friends through that ;—; but my sparks only come back in regards to it while reading meta or character analysis. I still have some fics saved that I occasionally re-read from my favorite authors, but I think I have outgrown my stay in the fandom. I will be forever grateful for mdzs for introducing me to a bunch of new interesting things to delve into in 2020, for keeping me company during forced isolation and for bringing me joy with lots of new people. AND I think it’s time to let go at the same time. this doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy my friends rambling to me about this or that character, this or that plot point or fanon scenario tho! I’ll just keep my distance and let them have fun :) it’s ok;
lotr & the hobbit : only a few of you will know that this blog was originally a bagginshield nostalgia blog in origin. the username is evidence of that after all! I will always love both fandoms, but I haven’t looked for new content of fics in a while and I routinely re-read old fics rather than engaging with brand new creations so... it’s time to let go. I considered changing my username too, but since i share it with my art blog idk what to do... we will see!;
anime in general : namely Mob Psycho 100. I will always love it, don’t get me wrong. but I haven’t had the emotional capacity to engage with mp100 final season yet and I don’t think I’m ready to let go of it. I will suspend my judgment for now, waiting for when I will be ready to properly move on;
C) NEW ✨ things I enjoy now:
house of the dragon : look. I don’t really care for got or the book!canon in general. I’m just a casual fan ;-; no need to explain all the details to me. more than being a rude tourist who doesn’t bother to learn about the culture, think of me as a tired hostess or steward forced to take a liking to the local fast food place in between flights. that would be me, flipping through the menu and getting hooked on r//haenicent content bc I’m but a smol bi and a simp for pretty and dramatic ladies. sue me. I’m not interested in the discourse, I don’t want to know who is terrible and why, this is fictional and I am tired. but if you see me reblogging stuff from there I will tag accordingly with the proper tags from now on, so you can mute safely;
the devil judge : some of you may have noticed I started talking about this kdrama somewhere about last October and I haven’t been the same since. I won’t write for the fandom but expect me to be annoying and hyper focused on it at all times when you less expect it. I can be quite steadfast in certain aspects of my fandom life and this is no exception;
helluva boss : me? liking indie-turned-super-popular animation? in this economy? it’s more likely than you’d think! look. I’m slightly less casual and more committed about this compared to my recent hotd fixation. but. once again, I have no interest in the discourse. I will reblog stuff from it and make an effort to tag even if I grew out of the habit as of recently. I found out about it last April and it helped with my anxiety. I’m enjoying something new after a long time and it doesn’t even require me to create content for it either. I can just lay back and chill. so. no fighting;
don’t hug me I’m scared : ik it’s unsettling and I care deeply about it, ok? but ik some of you are a bit uncomfortable with the material so I will take precautions and tag appropriately. I will only reblog stuff from the fandom bc I have no mental energy to create any content for it. I have no ship to board and no intention to join any ship tho, so there’s that. I just like the medium and mindlessly engage with it, triggering or not. sometimes I trigger myself just by paying attention to it, but I won’t subject y’all to it and will tag, I promise;
dune : I will be obnoxious about it. blame the upcoming movie for it. the visuals are pretty, the ladies are even prettier and even though I don’t really care for the tim boy I am endlessly entertained by his character since Paul and his life choices are amusing to me: he makes no damn sense, compels me though. also expect me to be annoying af about bene gesserit shenanigans in general bc. well. I’m only human;
the hunger games : less than dune, but the new movie interests me quite a bit. I love me some fictional villains and meta on them. their fictional struggles fascinate me. I don’t want to engage in the discourse with this one either;
succession : I have not watched the series, but an old friend of mine very enthusiastically insisted I give it a try so I will do that while trying to avoid spoilers at the same time. the stakes are high!;
D) things 👀 I’m looking forward to:
crafting : I want to make tiny things ;-; where is the time tho????
reading : there are so many things I want to read! mental health has been wild recently, I barely had energy to keep up with my favorite fic updates :( that’s all I have had energy for in the past few months ;—;
drama series : I’ve been given excellent suggestions but I keep falling asleep at odd times and haven’t found the time for that yet. which is very sad and very upsetting;
drawing : I feel like I haven’t practiced in a very long time and that’s unacceptable!;
music : I have new albums to listen to from my favorite artists, but I feel like I’m putting it off bc I fear I won’t enjoy them much :( , on the other hand I have received amazing suggestions and I’m excited to give them a try!;
I think this is all! I will probably put a “keep reading” on this later on. but yeah! It’s nice to be back :)
#sneaky niki#if any of you are uncomfortable with me liking any of these things know that I want you to be happy#if you want to unfollow me it’s ok#if we are mutuals then by all means I want you to prioritize your happiness#usernames have changed so I might not recognize some of u#but it’s ok. you do u. I do me. hope you will be enjoying yourself on this platform too :)
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If nobody asked for him yet, Izuna for the ask prompt because I can’t get enough of him. And I’m going to throw a new one at you (only if you want to!) : Naori
Thx for the ask <3 and sorry for taking so long to answer😅 life kept happening or I kept forgetting.
I'll answer both. It's gonna be long so I'll put it under a cut and apologies in advance lol
Izuna
First impression
Didn't really have much of an impression of him watching the series I won't lie. I guess I thought he looked like Sasuke but NO WHY ARE YOU STANDING IN THE WAY OF PEACE?! Did think he would have had a lot of potential if they actually bothered to give him a shred of personality tho. And aside from wanting so so so much more about him and Madara, I also low key really wanted to see more of him and Tobirama because come on! The chemistry was there and they were obviously presented as parallels and foils of each other. I wanted more violence and I wanted it to be personal. Also them interacting as kids was kind of really cute (the way they knew each other's name) but also really heartbreaking seeing how fckn big those swords looked
Impression now
He was right about everything. But if ppl think Tobirama was bad Izuna would have been worse. On purpose.
He is just SKSJJSJSZB!! Best, most interesting, fun and heartbreaking and compelling and perfect character!! The layers, the grief, his importance!!
I won't lie his character is almost entirely made by the fandom and I don't even agree with or like the vast majority of the interpretations, but God I would kill everyone in this room then myself if I don't see him happy or in pain or perfectly collected and impartial but murderous and covered in blood and so fucked up beyond belief but still holding everything and everyone together despite the way every loss and failure kills him over and over again until he's lost all sense of himself outside of his duty and the people he failed. JDJDHXHXXXHXH HIMMMM!! Just imagine the moment any shred of child like hope he used to have was completely shattered and he became entirely nihilistic, angry and bitter, but also leaving him craving the peace he knows is impossible.
Also he so has eldest daughter, middle child energy
Favourite moment
It was pretty funny when he punched Tobirama in the face ngl
Also the way he reacted to another kid possibly being stronger than his big brother!😱 Djjdhd I can't breathe!! His little face!! He deserves everything good in the world
Idea for a story
Oh boi oh boi do you just want a never ending list of all my wips?
Literally endless endless possibilities so idk which to pick, where to start or how I'd ever stop talking lol
Literally anything and everything from back story and character analysis fics, to crack, to dark smut and graphic violence, to wholesome bittersweet found family. And that's not even touching the endless possibilities AUs would open up!!!
Unpopular opinion
As needed and honestly refreshing as the 'canon accurate' take on his personality is, I don't really think I like it all that better. It's honestly kind of boring and it reduces him to a narrative plot or some vague object in someone else's story that can be placed to the side and completely forgotten about or ignored. I find it takes everything that's significant and interesting about him then sucks everything else that would give him a fully fledged and compelling personality right out of it. I'm as tired as the next person by a lot of fandom interpretations but he doesn't need to be reduced to the human equivalent of a perfectly square, perfectly blank piece of paper. His role, importance, actions and convictions within the narrative aren't remotely changed if he's allowed to have layers of messy, gritty complexity. They'd become more fleshed out if anything. Let my man have a messy personality, please! I need something to sink my teeth into and tear apart like a chew toy!
Favourite relationship
It's literally impossible to pick just one so here are the ones I cycle through as the mood takes me.
MADARAAAA, I would actually kill for more gen uchiha siblings content! They're just- yh I don't even need to explain!
But also in that same vein HIKAKU!!!! Only child Hikaku adopting Izuna as his little brother after all his cousins are killed. Them working better together and having more in common with each other than with Madara a lot of the time (despite Madara initially being the glue that brought them together). Then the grief and blame after Izuna dies and jdndndndb!!!!
Similarly but on a different note NAORI!!!!!!! Platonic soulmates all the fckn way! Just them being best friends since childhood (probably the only stable and healthy relationship, that is only a touch codependent, that Izuna has ever had). Also I love the idea of the wlw mlm solidarity of having kids together because madara refused to procreate. And don't let me get into how Izuna's death affects her!
But also TOBIRAMA ALL DAY EVERY FCKN DAY!! They’re so perfect, the way they respect and hate one another for everything they represent and how much of themselves they see in the other, and the violent possessiveness born of it. But also the way they would fit and work together so well, how they see the possible friendship in the other and it only makes them more adamant about wanting the other dead. But also soft healthy friendship that's fun and bittersweet, especially as kids, and hdhdbxbx- No more needs to be said really
Favourite headcanon
God there r so many! But I love the thought of him having a younger sister who's somewhere between tobirama, itama and izuna in personality. And he got his sharingan after seeing her die at the hands of bloodline thieves, which he never stops blaming himself for. It massively shapes his unhealthy and somewhat obsessive need to keep everyone and everything together and safe. Not to mention the way he takes failure so personally.
(Thank you sm for asking for her btw!)
Naori
First impression
Her plotline was weird as hell tho, and it would have been cooler if she was around during the founders era
Really liked her right off the bat! Thought she had a cool design, amd loved her personality and the mediator role she played. Also loved the way she seems genuinely powerful and well respected, and how put together and kind but stern she was. True infj lol
Impression now
Same impression really, + my own ideas and backstory sprinkled in. For example, she's a lot more cynical than she present herself. I love the idea of her growing bitter after Izuna's death but coming out the other side better than say Hikaku because she still had people she needed to remain tender for.
Favourite moment
Idk the way she was introduced was pretty cool. Girl boss play ur mind games!
Idea for a story
I'd love to write anything after Izuna's death and the founding of Konoha.
Also I have zero fckn clue what her backstory was even about so I wanna rework that. I'm thinking a small group of Uchiha growing paranoid as Madara did and trying to assasinate Tobirama. Having accepted the reality they were now stuck in she makes it her mission to keep everything running smoothly and do damage control where necessary. (All for the benefit of the clan tho. She never actually accepts the will of fire and she would be the first to be able to say 'I told you so' when war breaks out again). So anyway, Tobirama agrees to let her peacefully deal with them as a 'show of trust' to any other Uchiha who might follow, but it still makes him weary of them as a whole regardless.
Unpopular opinion
Not a fan of her being written in to be shipped with whatever male character just so they can have a straight love interest. I want her to have motivations, a story, and complex thoughts and feelings outside that. That's how she was introduced in the first place! But idk if that's actually unpopular lol
Favourite relationship
Of course Izuna! Aside from what I mentioned in his bit I also like to think that they shared the same views about how the clan should be run, and especially about peace (as a whole vs peace with the Senju). And alongside being a genjutsu master and being well respected on the battlefield, I like to think that she had an affinity for healing, and she woke her Mangekyou after Izuna died because she felt responsible for not being able to save him.
But also Hikaku!!! After Madara leaves she's the only person Hikaku still has around, and despite both being two of Izuna's closest people, they only really get close after that. After he officially takes over as clan head she essentially also steps into the role Izuna had as Madara's 'right hand'. Which basically means that for all intents and purposes they lead the clan together.
Favourite headcanon
Tobirama came to her about the police force and despite hating his guts for killing Izuna they worked together. She founded the police force with her wife and had a hand in the way the anbu was initially structured. Tobirama first went to her out of guilt (and because Hikaku was more outwardly hostile lol), but over the years she became someone he deeply respected and who's advice he sought out. And despite never fully forgiving him the respect was mutual.
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let's talk about andi mack's worldbuilding
sorry this took forever to make! i've been pretty busy with school stuff and i kind of lost my inspiration for a bit, but i ultimately really enjoyed writing it! i wish i could've included more pics (tumblr has a max of 10 per post), and it kinda turned from less of a mini analysis to more of an extremely long rant... but i hope it's still a fun read!
i've been rewatching the show over the past few weeks (thanks again to @disneymack for the link!), and i’ve been noticing a lot that i never did the first time around. this is really the first time i’ve watched the show from start to finish since it aired, and it honestly feels so different this time - probably a combination of the fact that i’m not as focused on plot and can appreciate the show as a whole, and also that the fandom is much, much smaller now, so there’s a lot less noise. so the way i’m consuming this show feels super different than it did the first time, but the show itself doesn’t - it’s just as warm and comforting to me as it was the first time around, if not more so.
i think a lot of that can be attributed to andi mack’s “worldbuilding”. i’m not quite sure that this is the right word in this context, to be honest, because i mostly see it used in reference to fantasy and sci-fi universes, but it just sort of feels right to me for andi mack, because you can really tell how much love and care went into constructing this universe. for clarity, worldbuilding is “the process of creating an imaginary world” in its simplest sense. there’s two main types: hard worldbuilding, which involves inventing entire universes, languages, people, cultures, places, foods, etc. from scratch (think “lord of the rings” or “dune”), and soft worldbuilding, in which the creators don’t explicitly state or explain much about the fictional universe, but rather let it’s nature reveal itself as the story progresses (think studio ghibli films). andi mack to me falls in the soft worldbuilding category. even though it takes place in a realistic fiction universe, there’s a lot of aspects to it that are inexplicably novel in really subtle ways.
so watching the show now, i’ve noticed that the worldbuilding comes primarily from two things - setting and props, and oftentimes the both of them in tandem (because a big part of setting in filmmaking does depend on the props placed in it!).
one of the most obvious examples is the spoon. it really is a sort of quintessential, tropic setting in that it's the main gang's "spot", which automatically gives it a warm and homey feel to it. and its set design only amplifies this:
the choice to make it a very traditional 50s-style diner creates a very nostalgic, retro feel to it, which is something that's really consistent throughout the show, as you'll see. from the round stools at the bar, to the booths, to the staff uniforms, this is very obvious. the thing that i found especially interesting about it though is the choice of color. the typical 50s diner is outfitted with metallic surfaces and red accented furnishings, but the spoon is very distinctly not this.
instead, it's dressed in vibrant teal and orange, giving it a very fresh and modern take on a classic look. so it still maintains that feeling of being funky and retro, but that doesn't retract from the fact that the show is set distinctly in modern times.
of course, this could just be a one-off quirky set piece, but this idea of modernizing and novelizing "retro" things is a really common motif throughout the show. take red rooster records. i mean, it's a record shop - need i say more? it's obviously a very prominent store in shadyside, at least for the main characters, but there's no apparent reason why it is (until season 2 when bowie starts working there, and jonah starts performing there). a lot of the time, though, it functions solely as a record shop. vinyl obviously isn't the most practical or convenient way of listening to music, but it's had its resurgence in pop culture even in the real world, mostly due to its aesthetic value, so it's safe to say that it serves the same purpose in the andi mack universe.
the fringe seems to be nostalgic of a different era, specifically the Y2K/early 2000s period (because it's meant to be bex's territory and symbolic of who she used to be, and its later transformation into cloud 10 is representative of her character arc, but that's beside the point). to be honest, exactly what this store was supposed to be always confused me. it was kind of a combination party store/clothing store/makeup store/beauty parlor? i think that's sort of the point of it though, it's supposed to feel very grunge-y and chaotic (within the confines of a relatively mellow-toned show, of course), and it's supposed to act as a sort of treasure chest of little curios that both make the place interesting and allow the characters to interact with it.
and, of course, there's andi shack. this is really the cherry on top of all of andi mack's sets, just because it's so distinctly andi. it serves such amazing narrative purpose for her (ex. the storyline where cece and ham were going to move - i really loved this because it highlights its place in the andi mack universe so well, and i'm a sucker for the paper cranes shot + i'm still salty that sadie's cranes didn't make it into the finale) and it's the perfect reflection of andi's character development because of how dynamic it is (the crafts and art supplies can get moved around or switched out, and there's always new creations visible).
going back to the nostalgia motif though, the "shack" aspect of it always struck me as very treehouse-like. personally, whenever i think of treehouses, there's this very golden sheen of childhood about it, if that makes sense. i've always seen treehouses in media as a sort of shelter for characters' youthful innocence and idealistic memories. for example, the episode "up a tree" from good luck charlie, the episode "treehouse" from modern family, and "to all the boys 2" all use a treehouse setting as a device to explore the character's desire to hold onto their perfect image of their childhood (side note: this exact theme is actually explored in andi mack in the episode "perfect day 2.0"!). andi shack is no exception to this, but it harnesses this childhood idealism in the same way that it captures the nostalgia of the 50s in the spoon, or the early 2000s in the fringe. it's not some image of a distant past being reflected through that setting; it's very present, and very alive, because it reflects andi as she is in the given moment.
some honorable mentions of more one-off settings include the ferris wheel (from "the snorpion"), the alley art gallery (from "a walker to remember"), SAVA, the color factory (from "it's a dilemna"), and my personal favorite, the cake shop (from "that syncing feeling").
[every time i watch this episode i want to eat those cakes so bad]
these settings have less of a distinctly nostalgic feel (especially the color factory, which is a very late 2010s, instagram era setting), but they all definitely have an aura of perfection about them. andi mack is all about bright, colorful visuals, and these settings really play to that, making the andi mack universe seem really fun and inviting, and frankly very instagrammable (literally so, when it comes to the color factory!).
props, on the other hand, are probably a much less obvious tool of worldbuilding. they definitely take up less space in the frame and are generally not as noticeable (i'm sure i'll have missed a bunch that will be great examples, but i'm kind of coming up with all of this off the top of my head), but they really tie everything together.
for example, bex's box, bex's polaroid, and the old tv at the mack apartment (the tv is usually only visible in the periphery of some shots, so you might not catch it at first glance) all complement that very retro aesthetic established through the settings (especially the polaroid and the tv, because there's really no good reason that the characters would otherwise be using these).
besides this, andi's artistic nature provides the perfect excuse for plenty of colorful, crafty props to amplify the visuals and the tone. obviously, as i discussed before, andi shack is the best example of this because it's filled with interesting props. but you also see bits of andi's (and other people's) crafts popping up throughout the show (ex. the tape on the fridge in the mack apartment, andi's and libby's headbands in "the new girls", walker's shoes, andi's phone case, and of course, the bracelet). not only does doing this really solidify this talent as an essential tenet of andi's character, but it also just makes the entirety of shadyside feel like an extension of andi shack. the whole town is a canvas for her crafts (or art, depending on how you want to look at it. i say it's both), and it immensely adds to shadyside's idealism. because who wouldn't want to live in a world made of andi mack's creations?
and, while it's not exactly a prop, the characters' wardrobe is undoubtedly a major influence on the show's worldbuilding. true to it's nature as a disney channel show, all of the characters are always dressed in exceptionally curated outfits of whatever the current trends are, making the show that much more visually appealing. i won't elaborate too much on this, because i could honestly write a whole other analysis on andi mack's fashion (my favorites are andi's and bex's outfits! and kudos to the costume designer(s) for creating such wonderful and in-character wardrobes!). but, i think it's a really really important aspect of how the show's universe is perceived, so it had to be touched upon.
[^ some of my favorite outfits from the show! i am so obsessed with andi's jacket in the finale, and i aspire to be at bex's level of being a leather jacket bisexual]
and lastly, phones. this is a bit of an interesting case (pun intended), because the way they're used fluctuates a bit throughout the show, but i definitely noticed that at least in the first season terri minsky tried to avoid using them altogether. these efforts at distancing from modern tech really grounds the show in it's idealist, nostalgia-heavy roots, so even when the characters start using their phones more later in the show, they don't alter the viewer's impression of the andi mack universe very much.
so, what does all of this have to do with worldbuilding? in andi mack's case, because it's set in a realistic universe and not a fantasy one, a lot of what sets it apart from the real world comes down to tone. because, as much as this world is based on our own, it really does feel separate from it, like an alternate reality that's just slightly more perfect than ours, which makes all the difference. it's the idealism in color and composition in andi mack's settings that makes it so unmistakably andi mack. even the weather is always sunny and perfect (which is incredibly ironic because the town is called shadyside - yes, i am very proud of that observation).
the andi mack universe resides somewhere in this perfect medium that makes it feel like a small town in the middle of nowhere (almost like hill valley in 1955 from "back to the future"), but at the same time like an enclave within a big city (because of its proximity to so many modern, unique, and honestly very classy looking establishments). it is, essentially, an unattainable dream land that tricks you into believing it is attainable because it's just real enough.
all this to say, andi mack does an amazing job of creating of polished, perfect world for its characters. this is pretty common among disney channel and nickelodeon shows, but because most other shows tend to be filmed in a studio with three-wall sets, andi mack is really set apart from them in that it automatically feels more real and tangible. it has its quintessential recurring locations, but it has far more of them (most disney/nick shows usually only have 3-4 recurring settings), and it has a lot more one-off locations. it's also a lot more considerate when it comes to its props, so rather than the show just looking garish and aggressively trendy, it has a distinctive style that's actually appropriate to the characters and the story. overall this creates the effect of expanding the universe, making shadyside feel like it really is a part of a wider world, rather than an artificial bubble. it's idealism is, first and foremost, grounded in reality, and that provides a basis for its brilliant, creative, and relatable storytelling.
tl;dr: andi mack's sets and props give it a very retro and nostalgic tone which makes its whole universe seem super perfect and i want to live there so bad!!
#andi mack#buffy driscoll#cyrus goodman#jonah beck#tj kippen#tyrus#ambi#bex mack#analysis#film analysis#disney channel
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Fic writer tag game thing
I was tagged to do this by @rockymountainrattlesnake--you rock!
How many works do you have on a03?
5 at the moment. Someday I will finish the Martha Jones character study I’m working on...
What’s your total a03 word count?
107,733 officially, but one of those is an exerpt taken from a longer fic, which puts me at 105,782, and then we’d need to subtract out the poetry exerpts in Promises, so...
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
HA.
But I have Promises to Keep
The World in Ten Seconds
Growing Where Planted
Suspended Between Moments
Black and White are Also Colors
The order seems very logical.
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
Pretty much always. Sometimes I forget and write back months later, but I get really enthusiastic when people like my work (I swear I will answer my inbox soon!) Most of my stuff involves some degree of character analysis, so I enjoy continuing that discussion in the comments. (And compliments make my day, not gonna lie.)
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
That would be The World in Ten Seconds, I think. Looking at my work (published and unpublished), it’s a lot easier to be angsty when I’m doing an analysis-focused piece, because those tend to be snapshots in time. Narrative stories tend to end on a more hopeful note.
What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
But I Have Promises to Keep by virtue of being finished. It’s not totally happy, but there’s a lot of catharsis in there.
Do you write crossovers? if so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?
Yes because my brain connects dots fast enough to make even a kangaroo court cringe. However, I haven’t published/finished any. I do have a Discworld/Doctor Who piece that’s a meditation on death, survivors, and moving on. The title will involve the word “Grandfathers.”
Then of course there’s the Q/Master epic enemies-to-lovers that I don’t have the guts to write.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
No! Very grateful for that. There was one awkward incident involving a commenter shaming non-commenters, but that’s behind us now.
Do you write smut? if so, what kind?
Nope.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of...? Seems unlikely TBH
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
well...there was that one Eragon set-in-Alegaesia OC epistolary back in high school...
What’s your all-time favourite ship?
hm hm hm hm. So I’ve found that I really like very very close platonic intimacy, except that sometimes looks like “you are the most important person in my life and I would die for you but we haven’t put a name to this thing we have and we don’t really kiss etc. but we might hold hands/cuddle/whatever and it doesn’t mean anything and I know random mundane things about you like your shoe size or soda preference (did I mention I would die for you?)” which sounds kind of like shipping?
So I’d have to say Nine/Rose or angsty Ten/Rose, with an emphasis on healing (see: RockyMountainRattlesnake’s Polyergus, A Wretched Ark, Terminarch, V762CAS’s Than All the Blue in the World).
I usually stick more or less with canon in most fandoms--if it’s not there, I don’t/can’t imagine it happening since romance is kind of weird and foreign to me. I tend to go for established relationships rather than “will-they-won’t they” stuff (Tevye/Golde, Vimes/Sybil etc. Though if we’re going musicals, I do actually like Elphaba/Fiero. I’ve never read anything about it, though.)
OH! I forgot! I don’t know if this counts, but I’m obsessed with sixbeforelunch’s Vulcan OCs, T'Lin and Veral, in the Pi’maat series.
Also the very specific way Erik/Christine works in Antiquarianne’s Phantom of the Opera piece The Sum of Earthly Happiness.
What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish the Grandfathers piece...it’s Discworld-primary from a stylistic perspective, and uh...I am not Terry Pratchett. I want to finish it, but I’ve got to be in the zone (reading a lot of Discworld stuff to get a feel for the style) and have SO MUCH PATIENCE because mimicking him is like writing poetry, if poetry was an accepted form of forced confession to be read for ridicule on live TV.
What are your writing strengths?
Purple prose.
yes i know that’s not supposed to be a compliment
.
Seriously, though I do tend to wax fruity in my writing, and I have a lot of fun with it. I think I’m also pretty good at writing conversations and arguments.
What are your writing weaknesses?
hehehehe
kill your darlings.
Editing? Who is she?
Which is funny, because I also do that stupid thing where getting words-on-paper is more painful than drawing a fishhook out of the fish’s throat when it’s mangled deep in the flesh. Is it perfectionism? I don’t know. Not in the anxious sense, certainly, because I can’t be chuffed to do a line edit before publishing. It’s more like I have two modes:
“Susan mad Grandfather confused insert Wrinkle In Time reference exept Uriel weird out of context IT vs keys of Marius brains fight”
or
“He’d known what Jackie was going to pull before Rose even passed on the invite, and he went and acted like Rose’d saddled him with an old ticket stub fished from her pocket. Trifling. Something you tossed in the first bin you saw. You think pretending it was only ever ‘her choice’ will wash away the guilt when you finally kill her?
That and...actually writing. Lost my mojo a while back and haven’t been able to get back into a routine since. Balancing life stuff and creative hobbies is a work in progress.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I think I generally would limit it to well-known exclamations or phrases for the most part. I’m familiar enough to use some Mandarin and not utterly fail, but I know I don’t have the rhythm or grace of a native speaker and it’s not something I have in mind to pursue right now.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Hm. Fortunately that is all tucked away in hand-written notebooks before I got perfection-scared off of writing past the 7th grade. I’ve been doing the whole fanfiction in my head consciously since 2nd grade, but the first stuff I think I wrote down was either Snape stuff or Eragon/Alagaesia stuff. Not exactly worldshaking.
What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
The World in Ten Seconds! Gah, I’m so proud of that thing. Also I really adore Black and White are Also Colors, though some of my favorite bits aren’t published yet. That one’s a lot more idiosyncratic...a lot of infodumping about color and language and ideas in translation. I’ll probably get the next chapter of that up before I’m able to start working on Growing Where Planted.
Tagging (feel free to answer or not as you have desire or energy--also I’m sorry if I have misremembered your fic-writing tendencies or lack thereof) @pazithigallifreya @phoenixrisesoncemore @forever-food-and-fandoms@loupettes @elialys @onlycosmere
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I didn't expect to get tagged but here we are. As you all will be able to tell in a bit, I am a massive Quackity fan
Thank you for tagging me @skeetlehands!
who is your favourite member on the smp?
Look, I love them all but these have a special place in my heart.
Quackity, Slimecicle (I am fully aware he just joined but I still love him), Schlatt, Tubbo, Eret, AweSamdude, and Ponk.
They're just great in and out of character and just have comforting vibes.
when did you first start watching the smp and what made you get into it?
I gotten in during the Pogtopia era since it took me a while to get access to the streams.
I mainly gotten in with the Sad-ist War animatics along with me trying to catch up on Quackity's VODS. Just someone that I was already familiar with being an easier shift into story and learning others through him
what is your favourite part about watching the smp?
Just watching everyone interact with other and just seeing the plot progress in real time. Its literally just dnd but with extra steps but I enjoy it so much
The improv that they all do is amazing and how everyone have different approaches to their characters makes my writer's side so happy with dissecting everything.
What piece of cursed lore is your favourite
That Wilbur canonically fucked a fish and Philza canonically fucked a Samasung fridge and just seeing the fanbase try to change into something that will at least make a bit more sense.
Im included in this, I basically joined the side that has Sally being a mermaid shapeshifting pirate. Mainly because of pirate Fundy
Who is your favorite duo on the smp
Slimecicle and Ranboo: They're the same person but in different fonts, you can convince me otherwise
Schlatt and Quackity: They managed to be super funny together with all of the jokes and balanced with making a very realistic abusive relationship work. It was always fun seeing them flirt with each other for a joke then get hit with whiplash when canon comes in to remind me that this isnt healthy
Tubbo and Tommy: They're two dumbasses who share the same braincell but then they constantly lose it and Tubbo mainly has custody of it
Wilbur and Schlatt: I just enjoy seeing Schlatt messing with Wilbur and occasionally flirts with him to get Wilbur more pissed off
Who are your comfort streamers
Quackity and Slimecicle are comfort streamers
Eret, Fundy, and AweSamdude are my comfort people (meaning I dont watch them as much but I find comfort in their presence. And the other two are also under this category)
Who is your favorite character
Quackity due to how complex his character is and yet how it looks so simple
Schlatt because is just a villian who knows how to play the game without getting caught
Tubbo, watching him trying to be hopeful with everything destroy around him and he just slowly become used to everything going wrong
AweSamdude because he is just trying his best to be a father figure others and I just got family issues
Who do you think the best actor(s) on the smp
Imma skip over the ones that we all already said and get into the ones that dont get enough praise
Quackity: Just how he managed to make his character seem so basic but in reality its really complex. And just seeing the shift from him being a chaotic force of nature to being a serious character that is trying his best to reach something that has been hanging over his head is just *chefs kiss* and he always delivers amazing lines on the spot.
BadBoyHalo: He is doing great right now, even though he is a bit rusty with starting he still manages to get into character and stay in character the entire time. When slowly easing in, you can tell its a bit forced but once he finds his footing, he knows how to deliver his lines.
AweSamdude: His entire bit where he was getting rescued from the egg fucking hurt. How he sounded weak from the entire thing and tired to where he just wanted to rest was so well. And I know he can act more energetic when he was accidentally dragged into playing a cop during Quackity's and Bad's date
Fundy: You guys need to give him more praise for his acting because he is fucking amazing at it. The little touches to how he voice when speaks is so good along with his body language in game. He knows what he's fucking doing and I love him for that. And when he snapped, it made complete sense if you payed attention to his character
I didnt add Ranboo because he's automatically at the top section due to him being a dnd player. Same goes to Slimecicle even though he hasnt acted yet. I dont make the rules. You play dnd, you know how to act
What are your favorite quotes
I dont have favorite quotes, just dialog heavy scenes.
Before Doomsday, Quackity going to take his horse far away from L'Manberg, it being the one thing he cares about. It was just so good
The entire Schlatt and Quackity argument in front of the white house
The meeting between Schlatt and Quackity with Schlatt yelling out to him in a taunting way to where Tommy and Quackity are trying to figure out what happened to the tnt. I constantly rewatch it to feel the adrinaline pumping to feel something
Wilbur's slow descend into insanity and talking to Tommy. Just showing his paranoia and fears consuming him, him projecting his fears into Tommy as an attempt of manipulation, and his hero complex shift into villian one
Schlatt's winning speech of him projecting it as something that was bound to happen no matter what. The amount of charisma and confidence that was in his voice as I was watching Tommy hiding underground in fear was just a perfect scene
Tommy's argument with Dream when everyone is protecting Tommy. Its the small details of Tommy taunting Dream to kill him, knowing he wont no matter what. Him telling everyone to protect Tubbo and everyone listening without hesitation.
The debate that Quackity and Dream had for like 11 or 14 minutes. All of that was completely unprompted unscripted, it was just so satisfying seeing someone stand up against Dream for the first time and actually beating him. Sure it was in a verble conflict but it still counts as a defeat
Be honest, who do you simp for? (Ayo if anyone says Tommy or Tubbo I will🗡)
Schlatt, Quackity, and Slimecicle
Its pretty obvious, I dont really try to hide it
Whats your favorite stream
Uhhhh I dont exactly have one so none I guess
Whats your least favorite streams
Im sorry, but all of the Jackbox stream. You need a specific group of people to play together in order to actually make it funny and keeping the energy throughout the entire thing.
After a bit later, everyone has a tendency of pandering to the audience and repeat jokes. They managed to beat jokes to the ground faster than Tiktok AND Twitter.
Dont get me started with DreamTeam being in there. They're funny in thier own rights but the shipping jokes get so unfunny so quick and they dont know how bounce off of others well. The only exception to this is when Quackity, Velvet, and Ant were playing with Sapnap and Dream. And thats because they decided to mess with the straight white guys into accidently saying offensive shit and seeing those two suffer with trying tiptoe around was so amusing
Whats something about the smp fandom thay makes you sad
This doesnt get me sad, just frustrated and its mostly towards dsmptok and dsmptwt but sometimes this fandom doesnt fucking know how to analyze characters. Like when everyone jumped on Tubbo on being the bad guy when he was a kid trying to use old tatics that knows that worked before and stand up for himself
How when one person decides to do something that they believe is right, everyone just throws the term villian arc around
When one person does one good thing the suddenly everyone accepts into them being good and not ever looking into it.
For fucks sakes, I saw people keep saying that Quackity was turning into Dream or Wilbur and I just sat there being confused on how they conntected those dots that were in different books.
Its so frustrating to read through. But here on dsmpblr, you guys actually understand character analysis, are able to critique them and able to love whoever you enjoy.
Another thing is how this fanbase really puts everyone on a pedestal or objectify them. Just completely forgetting that they're human and treat the streamer as a character. Like, yeah they're playing up a persona whenever they're making content but theres a difference and you shouldn't hold them up like that.
You cant use the argument of "They're young, they dont know any better", when I first entered my first fandom (I was like 11/12), I fully understood that theres a boundary between me and the creator. What they are on screen is a persona but they're still human and I should treat them as such. Its just something that bugs me and its unnerving to see whenever people start getting wierd about it
Final bit is just how the twitch chat acts. They all force the streamer to follow the 'main' plot of it being Tommy or Techno or whoever the fandom chooses to have a favorite, completely ignoring the fact that they are their own character. No one wants to meta game because where is the fun in that but the fucking chat gets so annoying when the streamer goes against fanfavorite of the week. It drains the fun of it being multiple pov's and different characters.
When Slimecicle was barely starting stream I saw so many people spam "Go with Ranboo" and not let him even get into lore first. I hated that I knew it was coming but it was still so fucking frustrating seeing them try to boss him around. Please just let people live outside of the 'main' plot, not everything revolves around your favorites. Now shut the fuck up and let them play
What about the smp fandom that makes you happy?
The people that create art, animatics, theories, playlist, or write oneshots
All of you creators are great and deserve so much more respect then what the fandom gives you because jesus fucking christ they're all so fucking rude. You guys are the ones that are carrying this fandom on your backs and I fucking respect yall for that
________________
Time for da spead: @nixavia @dambette404 and @mocha-is-lost yall dont need to join.....unless😳😳😳
#this is long as hell#sorry#ALSO THANK YOU SKETTLE FOR TAGGING ME#I THOUGHT I WAS MOSTLY AN ANNOYANCE TO YOU FOR CONSTANTLY SENDING IN SOME LONG ASS ASK#dream smp#mcyt
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for your analysis meme: clara
This is going to be so much fun and so very tough, because Clara is such an amazingly complicated character! God, I love her so much but part of that is because she is very ambivalent and hard to describe. She is one of these characters where you can find an opposite trait for every other one she has (which is kind of the point of her). Also: I still haven’t played the Changeling route in Patho1 and I have a stronger understanding of the Patho2 universe… so bear with me. I will try my best to analyse our favorite saint.
their biggest strength
I needed to think a while about this one and the term that stuck with me was attentive cleverness. Because I really couldn’t decide if I wanted to call her attentive or clever and luckily these two can be combined into something, I find pretty precise for what I want to describe. Clara is very clever and has a lot of knowledge that not really anyone else in the patho-universe can gain (or at least the amount of it, people share bits and pieces). She is the healer most aware of the meta-narrative and at least in routes that aren’t hers is telling you either that she knows more than you do or straight out telling you something, you needed to know (and probably didn’t want to). As is obvious by her focus on hands and talking her main skill is also interaction with other people… but I think a lot of it comes from the fact, that Clara is a good listener. Which seems to be counter-intuitive because listening is assigned as Artemy’s domain in the artbook, but I think the other word used – rhythms – is pretty important here. Artemy’s skill is finding connections, intuit solutions as well as similarities and differences (there is a reason he realizes his similarities to Aglaya’s description of the inquisition) and gaining cultural knowledge that he then transforms into practical and usable abilities. Clara’s “listening” is more about singular people’s well-being and personal struggle. (She is like a good therapist. If your therapist wanted to convert you into a sacrificial religion. ^^) She interacts with her surroundings directly and attentively. I mean, she is very well informed very early on without really having a live before that or at least not in town (again, I did not play the changeling route yet and do not know her origins or how ambiguous they are kept at the end. Either way, she arrives in town at the beginning of the game and navigates her way pretty well.) However only calling her attentive sounds like the trait is a passive one which is not something I mean. Both her personas as a saint and a thief use her knowledge that is gained by being attentive in unconventional ways and/or for unconventional means. As noted in the beginning, Clara is very clever and that in combination with her noticing even small discrepancies and listening to people makes her able to peek behind the curtain of the game in the first place. It also helps to get yourself into places people normally wouldn’t want a teenage girl to be and Clara knows and is fully willing to use this ability. It is both the reason why she knows so much more about the greater scope of the disaster and also why she always seems to be able to get into any place she wants to.
By the way, just as an afterthought: Of course that ability doesn’t come and is in fact enhanced by empathy. I do not think, Clara is listening to people only to use them and to gain information. You can genuinely be willing to listen to someone and still use the information you get out of these conversations. Listening carefully and actively engaging with other people is a great part of that strength!
their greatest weakness
Does “not being able to hold a knife when the town wants you dead” count as a weakness? Okay seriously, I have a really hard time to put what I consider her weakness into one expressive term. So I will talk about it first at length and then we will see. What caught my mind first was ironically Clara’s problems with communication. That might be the case because, yes, I still haven’t played her route, so I am working mostly on her ways of communication with the other healers. But Clara really has a lot of strong points that she has trouble getting across or acknowledged. Sometimes that is definitely not her fault and one of her problems is, that she is not taken seriously by other people. But trying to persuade someone to their cause and emphasizing the reason with an elaborate monologue how the other healers are demons. Daniil was genuinely asking, why you wrote your letter about your destiny, it’s fine! Same happens in Pathologic 2. Saying someone to stay put when they are in a pretty bad spot already is not a bad idea and Artemy is pretty open to both warnings and clairvoyance in general but saying. “Nope, do literally nothing even if you know you want to, I am a better doctor anyways” is… yeah hurting him in his professional pride isn’t exactly a smart move. Often it feels like she really has a chance to explain and the other healers would probably listen but then there is just a terrible miscommunication. (Which is a thing for all of the healers but Clara I-am-going-to-call-your-father-a-horrible-person-while-we-are-at-his-funeral Saburova… Look, it might be true but it is also hilarious.) But putting communication skills here would still be weird, since… you know… she is pretty good at communicating in different ways! And also all three healers are pretty prone to miscommunication albeit in different ways and for different reasons… So I think we have to dig a bit deeper still… So why is this happening and hindering her? There are multiple reasons to come to this conclusion. One I would call childlike stubbornness. (Which btw. Is also one of her strengths, but… it is Clara, everything is also its opposite. God I love her so much, she is just so hard to describe, it’s amazing!) Even with all of her wisdom and cleverness… Clara is still a child. As she should be, it makes her so much more interesting! But she also has this childlike quality of just… assuming people will completely understand and accept what she is trying to see and getting frustrated the moment it doesn’t happen. This is one of her contradictions. She is so very attentive, and she can touch other people with her hands as well as her words, but she also is inexperienced and doesn’t really know a lot about the world or about how to socially approach people which can be a big problem, if she desperately needs someone to listen. The other argument would be about her role in the plot and the way she regards her own role as well as the other healers. She is the most aware one and she does indeed know a solution to the dilemma of the story (if we do not conclude that this is a three way battle, but I exclude my thoughts about the factions themselves for this. She definitely though knows how to get rid of the town vs. polyhedron conflict) but this also puts her in direct opposition to both healers. Which… you know is completely fair and not a weakness. But, she is very uncompromising about this and while all of them are – at least when they are not the main protagonists – Clara is the most unmoving and also uncompromising of the three, telling everyone always very directly how she things the others are shit. Which again, is very justified but becomes a big problem when she needs help and makes it harder for her to express her own thoughts, even if they are very justified and might even help all parties. Speaking in riddles and of concepts beyond something we would see as our reality surely doesn’t help there either.
a headcanon about their childhood
Oh dear, tbh I am not even sure how metaphorical she just crawled out of the earth at the beginning of the game and if she even has a proper childhood… I think it is pretty literal but there are allusions in Patho2 that she actually has a past? At least she speaks about it and I guess it can be as made up as real. (A classic Clara move ^^) And having no defined past is kind of a big thing for her so… sorry, no childhood headcanon here.
a headcanon about their future (if they have one)
Again, I am not really sure if she stays in town or leaves with Block and I have read fanfiction with both, so I am not sure if there is a consensus in fandom either… If she stays in town I imagine her still being with the Saburovs but I do not know, if I really like this headcanon, since abandoning your newly found orphan in the middle of a plague is really something that should revoke parent rights… But on the other thing the position among the mistresses seems to still be pretty defined at least in the endings in Patho 2. I like to see her travelling with Block at least for a while. Maybe not at the front, that would be just… bad. But she also seems like the person who would just poke their head around at random intervals and nobody really knows, when she will get back and somehow Clara still knows exactly what is going on in town… Still she also seems pretty bound to the place and she has business there… it’s a tough call. She will definitely fire up the rivalry of the mistresses by a lot though. Probably even if she is just there for a second, she would definitely sow some mischief between Capella and Maria! Another triad of petty politics for her! Yay?
a small detail/scene that leaves a great impact
Oh dear, every scene she is in is just so impactful! (Also never knowing which Clara is with you right now (if there even is a difference) doesn’t make this easier...) I really like her quest in Artemy’s run, where she is upset about not knowing what exactly she is in the first place… but that is not really a small details or scene. Same goes for the cathedral and her offer to meet the inquisitor together with Dankovsky to stand up for that whole disaster. Which is still a really heroic but also not really a small scene and there is nothing to talk about there aside from “man, is Clara brave and set on doing the right thing!” I also think the letter about her ending is really interesting because it is just so out there and giving all of her bound a demonic nickname is just so over the top, but tbh all of the ending letters are very… passionate. So this might be more the games writing even if they lampshade it and talk to each other like the other one is the only healer in town who wrote a completely insane letter… But I digress.
While I love Clara’s Patho1 design, I will say that I love her shaved hair in Patho2 and the commentary the artbook has for it. Seeing it as a sign of sickness or a deliberate mark of sainthood is just so on point for her! It is a really nice visual piece for her characterization and I also think putting the beany on top of it makes it even better. It is contradicting but firstly she deliberately kind of tries to hide her own contradictions (I mean, it is not part of her! It is just the sister, she is wrong!), which is also a nice added detail. Also, she might combine contradicting elements, but god, she is doing it with style!
their philosophy/worldview (or part of it) described in one neat little sentence
I am throwing the towel! How should this even work with Clara??? She has different philosophies and worldviews! Also, I think they differ a bit between the first and second game. The first one aligns a lot with the humble faction from what we hear but in the second game her dialogue alludes more vaguely to touching and changing people and not necessarily to “The right people must die for our world to continue” which is most of what I heard from her. Hm… How about: A saint’s duty is to touch the immoral and diseased, thus one can never rid themselves of all dirt. I am not that happy with this one, but… at least it has the whole touching other people thing in it and it is about good people not being pure, which also is a theme with her. It still sounds a bit judgemental and I don’t really like this emphasis of the “dirtied” but… I mean this is what Clara talks about in her letter, so I still think it fits, even if I would dare to say that she shows a lot more compassion than this sentence shows.
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APH England Headcanon: On Top of the World
Hey look another song headcanon. Idk why I get so much inspiration from songs but here it is. Long, Long, Long, Long, Long Post Warning (I went into detail here so... you’re warned)
Basically a look at this song (On Top of the World by Greek Fire, not Imagine Dragons, one of my favorites, please listen) through England’s eyes, because I think it really fits him, mostly discussing his imperial times (colonies, America, all that fun stuff):
youtube
Ok so: Imperial England, in my headcanon, is a Sly Old Bastard exactly the way China is/was at his height. And this post is going to be focusing on England’s sly, cunning nature and weaknesses (?) he might have felt at the height of the British Empire. Most of the song is reminiscing (“I remember”...), so it could also be when England’s empire has crumbled and he’s wondering how it all went down.
Anyway, first couple lyrics are just “on top of the world/on top of it all/trying to feel invincible”, the refrain that goes on throughout the song. I guess it just kinda sets the scene, I think as his empire got larger and larger, and as England got more and more colonies, he would become somewhat aware that all the things he’d been building, the states/lands he’d been conquering, would crumble one day, and then his empire would be no more (trying to feel invincible).
Slight Digression: Britain was a Roman province, however the whole of the British Isles were never quite subdued by military conquests, and I think England would have existed at the time and would be resisting the Romans with his mother Britannia (even though I think Scotland was the one left unconquered, although they were defeated in battle lots of times, England would not have willingly surrendered either). Therefore, he would also witness the fall of Rome, and carry with him the knowledge that all empires fall, no matter how great they are or how much land they have. So this would also factor into his state of mind of inevitability I guess (I was thinking of insecureness but that’s not fitting, England is too egotistical to be insecure imo) that his empire will end one day, and the least he can do is to enjoy (?) or pay attention to how it feels to rule while it lasts
Ok anyway: “I remember the nights/Caught up in dreaming my goodbyes/Watching the door for anything more than an ordinary life"
I have no explanation, maybe this was when he was first starting out as a country or when he was starting to grow his empire, when things used to be ordinary for him maybe? Idk what it means about dreaming goodbyes but rationale is: he somehow has a premonition that his empire will die someday? Actually wait, even better is that he’s saying goodbye to Britannia, who is dying, and perhaps deciding to build something great in her legacy? As a tribute (and also maybe a fuck you to Rome) to her, he wants her legacy to be “my son(s) did something great” rather than to be a forgotten woman to history. I interpret the next line as England perhaps being excited about the prospect of his growing empire, excited about leading, conquering. I think during imperial times he had the same god-complex America does; the US often markets itself as “doing good” for the world (eg. Ridding Communist Scum !!!) which, although it may actually be disastrous, is usually seen as “right” in some way (I have major issues w/ US politics as you can see but let’s not talk about that). So the wishing for a better, more exciting life might just be his wish to “make the world more civilized, more British, more gentlemanly” etc.
Next: “I remember the days/New beginnings on an open page/With something to prove/ And nothing to lose, not a soul to betray”
I think this could be about his relationship with young America as the 13 colonies, before the American Revolution. I believe (correct me if wrong) most of the Age of Imperialism, when England, France, Germany etc. started scrambling for land was in the 1800s, and so I think America was like England’s test run colony, and therefore the first person he really had to “care for” as a brother and a child. He didn’t have anything to lose with America, all he could do is build a relationship with this small country and open his heart to friendship and love from America. I don’t think England was as uptight about stuff then and America was his test run, his “new beginning” if he messed stuff up at home (idk if he really did though). He didn’t have any “history” or previous relationship with America before they became like a father/son duo, so he didn’t have to worry about damaging a previous friendship with him (”nothing to lose” by getting to know him).
Side note: I think America’s independence sort of broke England, and I definitely agree with @hongkongenthusiast ‘s hc that England distanced himself from his other colonies because he didn’t want what happened with America to happen again.
Next: “Here I am/Living a dream that I can’t hold/Here I am/On my own”
So this just kinda speaks to England’s loneliness ig. He’s literally living the dream: power, colonies, wealth, everything, but he still has the premonition/wisdom (?) to see that it won’t last (“...that I can’t hold”). He won’t be king of the world forever. He’s also up on a pedestal. I think after the Age of Imperialism England owned the most colonies (I think France is a close second), and like America with his modern-day “police of the world” status, I think lots of people knew about and admired/were jealous of England’s power (maybe they didn’t “look up” to him, but I think they certainly wanted his power for themselves), and being without an equal can make it feel pretty lonely at the top of the food chain.
Next part is the refrain, the new lyrics after that are: “I remember the lies/Caught up in building paradise/The angels were slaves and demons behaved/And everything was alright”
This could represent the propaganda England fed to his people at home to make them support colonization. I don’t think it would’ve taken much convincing, because of the “white men superiority” idea that were colonizers’ way of justifying colonialism and imperialism (actually called White Man’s Burden). However, even though that idea was prevalent, there are still historical propaganda pieces that glorify colonization; one example is called “ABC for Baby Patriots” (full text in link). It basically convinces people colonizing is good for the mother country, and I’d like to think England also told his people that to make them support it (“I remember the lies”). I don’t know how physically old England the character would be, but if he was still young and maybe not as cynical (unlikely but still possible), he could tell these “lies” to himself as well to justify his actions. I mentioned earlier about him wanting to make a better world by introducing British ways to his colonies, and maybe that was the version of “paradise” he envisioned. The last two lines strike me as a flip-flopped world where the bad are free and the good are punished, so maybe idk that was the actual situation, where England’s colonies were suffering instead of being helped, like he thought? Anyway this is getting into kinda political ugly history so...
Next! “I hear the crowds beneath me/I'm wishing they could reach me/But I'm on top of the world/Up here I'm dying alone”
Not really any analysis here, just another example of England being lonely ig as the leader of the imperial world. I feel like this part can be summed up in a more positive light by this
Next: “Inside the walls of gold/Outside of happiness/(It's all been a show, too late to confess)/No room for heart and soul/No room for innocence/Innocence”
To me, this is England reminiscing when he still had compassion and when he was young. I feel like nations, like humans, get more cynical as they age; they stop seeing good in the world and start just seeing people as things they can manipulate, pawns on a chessboard who can achieve their own interest. In the context of England’s imperialism, this is basically him thinking back and thinking what have I done. Maybe he finally acknowledged negative impacts of his colonization, and wishes he could go back to the days where he was just a small nation, minding his own people, instead of forging an empire that stretched across continents. I guess the whole imperial episode is: “I thought this was a good idea, I thought it would bring me happiness and glory, I thought I could make the world better, but instead, it only showed me the worst in people, and the worst in me”. Idk, I still don’t know if imperial England deserves compassion (Aftereffects of colonization are still being felt today, eg. when original India was split by Britain into India and Pakistan. Britain never clearly specified the India-Pakistan border, and that led to a whole lot of wars and shit and people are still fucking tense about this to this day) But I guess this song and my consequential thinking about it gives him a bit of humanity in spite of his Sly Old Man status?
Ok that’s it! You’ve made it to the end of this long-ass post! I’m so conflicted about England’s character now! I’ve literally disliked him so much ever since I joined the fandom (I also don’t really like FACE fam in general) but bruh my head just warps canon so it’s more palatable for me I guess hhhh. What do y’all think? Feedback Appreciated!
#i'm so conflicted now i thought this post was a good idea but apparently not#aph#aph england#aph america#hetalia#hws#hws england#hws america#musings#song musings#arthur kirkland#long post#long ass post#headcanon musings
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OKAY SO I've just spent the best part of an hour scrolling through your blog and reading a bunch of your destiel meta and I HAD to message you... I was one of the many people who STRONGLY believed destiel had a chance of being canon after season 8 (more like season gr8 am i right), but throughout the years I slowly lost all hope. However, S14 has made me 110% invested in the show again and YOUR META IS GIVING ME HOPE FOR DESTIEL, which is TERRIFYING. Your writing is wonderful and I'm STRESSED.
Got back from Washington late last night!
Oh my gosh @alovelikecas, your message really made my day and I’m SO glad you enjoy my meta xox (even when most of my meta looks like, to me, sloppy-ass writing, haha! I’ll probably make an end-season meta post after 14x20 — if I have the time — that touches upon SPN’s current and repeating themes since Season New Beginnings S12/Dabb Era, not to mention I have, like, some more unfinished meta in my drafts >.>)
Yeah I mean, I didn’t join Destiel land until Summer 2016, and before that, I was late to the Season 11 party, so I basically had no narrative context for anything, and I’ll copy-paste what I said here:
Looking back, one significant thing I recall? S11 gave me a sense of Destiel’s true narrative validity (as not a ‘fanon’ ship but organically developed in the canon) when I perceived it as a season that was ‘missing something’. Keep in mind I had no idea about Destiel yet while watching S11 at the time.
I was literally asking myself — repeatedly — why Dean/Amara seemed to contain odd narrative holes, considering A. Dean explicitly said that the non-consensual attraction he felt for Amara was NOT love and “it scares him”, B. Amara told Dean that ‘something stops you - keeps you from having it all’, C. Djinn!Amara stated that she can: ‘feel the love [Dean] feels, except it’s cloaked in shame,’ and D. Mildred’s iconic ‘You’re pining for someone’ —> which did not logically correlate with A and C, meaning: since Dean doesn’t freely love Amara and thus isn’t possibly pining for her — with female love interests as currently non-existent (I remember crossing off the dead/gone girls on a piece of paper lol) — who the hell was he pining for, then?
Originally posted by elizabethrobertajones
Obviously, without writing long-ass paragraphs of meta about it again in this post, S11 made sense as soon as I watched it within the Destiel context (especially after I read up on some grandiose pieces of Destiel meta (@charlie-minion was the very first person who inspired me to write meta; I followed her once I joined the fandom Oh my god, here we go, holy crap this subtext – I’m invested in this godforsaken ship because they’re in love with each other and I’m not getting off any time soon. The rest is history.
I’m aware that I do come off as positive (and I’m still Destiel-positive; whatever happens in 14x20 this week may or may not change that), but I hope you don’t mind if I use your lovely ask as an additional opportunity to clarify my meta standpoint: no one’s saying Destiel WILL become text.
The general Destiel meta community (all subfactions: Destiel-positive, -negative, -neutral, and in-between) is not the Most Holy Canon Word, and we aren’t SPN writers, and again, we can’t actually speak to the veracity of Destiel as guaranteed-gonna-go-textual, but we — a diverse pool of critical thinkers from all walks of life: particularly those who have some degree of experience in literary academia/English literature studies (fun fact: I was actually pursuing a Minor’s in English until I changed my mind - my first love’s Health Science/Biology, which I stuck with, but here I am doing lit-crit analysis on the side *wink*) — can speak to the veracity of Destiel as a real, palpable, and ever-substantial long-running romance narrative aka the love story between Dean and Cas IS THERE. I see it. We all see it. We didn’t pluck it out of the random ether one day. It naturally evolved across the show’s overarching narrative like some vast spiderweb, linked together by numerous character arc amalgamations of Dean Winchester and Castiel as separate individuals who were then brought together — who brought themselves together, by the sheer force of free will and choice — and are now inherent parts of the other’s story (and respective character progression).
I say this too many times to count: the entire point of writing meta? Personally, it enables me to appreciate the literary gorgeousness of Dean and Cas’ relationship as, first and foremost, a tentative alliance offset by the very moment Cas raised Dean from perdition (it’s a poetic beginning). Their alliance then inevitably proliferated into a rocky — at times, necessarily turbulent — friendship, then a deep profound bond…one that crossed platonic boundaries since S7/8 and is, ultimately, indelibly rooted in romance. Together, Dean and Cas build up each other’s strengths, complement each other’s flaws, and narratively motivate the other to self-introspect — to become the best version of themselves that they were always meant to be: self-actualized entities who let go of their painful, horrifying, psychologically/emotionally destitute pasts.
These above reasons and more are why I think Destiel belongs right up there on the shelf of Ye Olde Classics, similar to epics by John Milton, Shakespearian tragic dramas, Homeric characteristic cruxes, and the great Odyssey journey: a legendary journey, fraught with circumstance, that finally ended with Odysseus (now an enlightened man) returning to Penelope, the love of his life.
Channeling the scope of Homer’s Odyssey, Destiel is an incredible storytelling feat of obstacles, both internal and external, romance tropes, mirroring, foreshadowing, and visual cadence/emotion, enhancing SPN’s already character-driven main plot in that Dean and Cas try to make it back to one another; like Penelope, their love holds true despite everything. If Destiel were an M/F couple, we all know their love story would be absolutely undeniable to the GA.
I do understand the bitterness S14’s fostered in some viewers, though. I do understand that Dean and Cas seem distant (and yeah, it’s a noticeable difference compared to S12/S13), but I believe the Destiel subtext is still heavy and holds steady.
Right now, at this point, there remains multiple personal issues for the characters to solve, you know? Dean and Cas aren’t talking properly; their love languages stay mistranslated, although we’re persistently shown that they still understand each other on a certain level that no one else can, and the visual narrative keeps framing them as on-the-nose solid counterparts: a domestic-spousal romantic unit independent of Sam.
Originally posted by incatastrophicmind
They want to be there for the other. They need to quash the final remnants of their respective internal loathing (Dean’s self-worthiness, Cas’ self-expendability) before they’re able to give the other 100% of their time, efforts, attention, and love (as flawed and complicated but compellingly beautiful as it can possibly be). During the times Dean and Cas do try to talk shit out, extraneous issues continue to get between them.
As other friends/meta pals discussed with me, S14 is like S10 in that it’s confusing the cast/audiences. And exactly: S8, besides S11/S12/early S13, also belongs in the close-to-canon serious Destiel narrative transition! I can discuss the showrunning/writer problem of SBL (Singer + Bucklemming; @occamshipper hits the nail on the head) that tugs subtext – especially subtext linked to Destiel – back and forth, sometimes in the weirdest nonsensical ways, but I won’t go too far into it here. I agree, however, with the recent idea that Jensen does seem a bit confused as to where he should bring Dean emotionally this season (don’t get me wrong, I do NOT believe Dean is OOC; OOC is a completely different concept vs expected character behaviour). And if Dean’s consistently romance-coded past interactions with Cas are any indication, Jensen would also — in the same vein as all of us — want Dean and Cas to start getting their shit together. Long-running fictional characters like Dean and Cas, conceived over 10 years, are so well-written to the point where you, the author, can predict what they’ll do even if you just plop both of them inside a room and give them no direction, and I personally feel that nowadays Jensen is prevented from achieving Dean’s further internal growth/unsure how to act in the moment because of some dumb SBL scripts saying one thing while his character’s heart says another. Wank aside—
Season 15 should hopefully convey a much more logical subtextual perspective e.g. unbelievably amazingly cohesive Season Destiel 11 that aired after choppy S10. Not all hope is lost!! I also want to clarify that I personally LOVED Season 14 in general. It’s been mostly Emotion-centric constant, with Yockey, Berens, Perez, and Dabb usually making my top-rank SPN writer list.
Currently the narrative’s still allowing pretty significant (imho) wiggle room for the lovers to fracture apart and get back together, where their miscommunication comes to a dramatic head. We just saw Dean and Cas argue over Jack’s well-being in 14x18 and 19. Dean — besides putting Cas at the top of his You’re-Dead-to-Me-Because-You-Lied-but-I-Still-Love-You-Goddammit hitlist (for clear spousal-coded reasons) and taking Cas’ actions to heart (he’s the person he trusted the most who lied to him) — no doubt blamed himself for what happened, and Sam was, like I said, the mouthpiece of truth. TFW were all culpable. They all failed Jack in some way, shape, or form.
I’m not expecting anything for 14x20, but I’m nervous either way! Thanks for sticking with my long answer
#ask#alovelikecas#destiel positive#my stuff#my meta#spn s14 speculation#spn s15#season who am 14#supernatural#destiel#narrative#character development#wank for ts#ish#spn s14#spn s11#deancas#the greatest love story ever told#14x18#14x19
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The Hunger Games: The Tributes
I recently returned to Tumblr, and with that decision came a thirst to return to the roots of the fandom that got me here in the first place. So here I am doing a reread of the entire thg series, along with some analysis, quotes, and questions along the way! I’ve decided to make posts for each of the three sections of each book, so here goes the first one.
The Tributes
At the beginning of this book, I think it’s only right that we start with Katniss talking about Prim. The entire series always comes back to it, because Katniss time and time again is working to protect her. Whether it be from bad dreams before her first reaping or the horrors later on, Katniss’ central motivator is her little sister. At times she seems to be a little too overprotective at great cost to herself, obviously by volunteering but also by refusing to let her take out tesserae. We meet Gale, and I’ve always wondered how he learned to snare and when he started going into the woods. Were their fathers friends, or did take their children to the woods separately? Did they ever intend to work together, or did they without the kids knowing?
The word “rebellion” is first stated on page 5, which is no accident on Suzanne Collins’ part. In the first 80 pages alone it’s mentioned 6 times, which is more than the rest of the book. She talks about the punishments of rebellion, the rebellion 74 years prior, and her thoughts when Haymitch remarks about how her at Peeta holding hands on the chariot could be seen as rebellious. From the start of the series, Katniss has been instigating rebellion even when she doesn’t mean to. Poaching, refusing children, volunteering for her sister (instead of the “honor”), shooting at the Gamemakers, showing solidarity with Peeta. I’m sure President Snow approves of none of that.
Before Katniss ever goes into the Games, I already have a sense of some mental health issues with her. It would be an easy diagnosis for her, a sudden death of her father, the sequential “loss” of her mother, and the responsibility of head of the household being thrust on her small 11-year-old shoulders. She is very doubtful of people who want to help her and finds it hard to understand how people can be kind and not expect anything in return. With this, she has a soft spot for kindness so maybe that’s why she doesn’t care for it much. I’m not an expert on mental health, but it wasn’t easy for her to take this in such a short amount of time, and there’s obviously some residual trauma she has to deal with. She talks about nightmares of her father’s death, is constantly worrying about anything and everything, and describes herself in negative ways. Some quotes to support my thoughts:
"Gale says I never smile except in the woods.”
“I learned to hold my tongue and to turn my features into an indifferent mask so that no one could ever read my thoughts”
“I’m not the forgiving type.”
“[Peeta] gives my hand hat I think is meant to be a reassuring squeeze. Maybe it’s just a nervous spasm.”
“A kind Peeta Mellark is far more dangerous to me than an unkind one. Kind people have a way of working their way inside me and rooting there”
“He gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me. A warning bell goes off in my head. Don’t be so stupid... He is luring you in to make you easy prey. The more likable he is, the more deadly he is.”
She has closed herself off so much and never seemed to have found healthy coping mechanisms. Sure she feels better out in the woods where she used to spend time with her father, but inside the fence she hasn’t found a way to be happy in her day-to-day life. This will only exaggerate after the Games.
Katniss’ friendship with Madge has always been strange to me. As the mayor’s daughter you’d think Madge would have been a part of the popular group in school, but she “keeps to herself... [and] neither of us really has a group of friends”. They eat lunch and partner in gym class in relative silence, which just seems awkward even if they are shy people. Madge is originally wearing the mockingjay pin when Katniss and Gale go to sell strawberries which to me marked her as an important character for the rest of the series. Madge’s absence in the films was a bummer because she has such an interesting and complex connection to the story that was lost when they removed her. When she goes to visit Katniss in the Justice Building, we knows she gives Katniss the pin but we’re not entirely sure why. “There’s an urgency in her tone” when she gives it to Katniss, and doesn’t really take no for an answer when she pins it to her dress. It also may just be me wanting to find something, but I’ve always had an underlying thought that Madge has a crush on Katniss. The kiss on the cheek, the silent (nervous?) presence around Katniss, not being part of the “popular” crowd, maybe she was outcast by her peers for this reason. I would be 100% supportive of a bisexual Madge. This was a pretty short scene on paper, but there’s a lot of meaning with the pin that we’ll discuss as we get further into the books.
The reaping itself gave me a lot of questions about how the Games came to be. We learn about the Dark Days and the Capitol extinguishing a rebellion that started the Games, but what were the districts rebelling against in the Dark Days? What was going so wrong that they wanted to rebel, and how much worse did it get with the implementation of the Games and other district punishments? District 12 has a population of 8,000, but we know this is the smallest district by far. Katniss thinks about this on her Victory Tour, but how do they host reapings with larger districts that may have 8,000 kids or more? Is there a protocol if the chosen child wasn’t at the reaping due to sudden severe illness, death, or they had run off across district boundaries like Gale wanted to do? I’ve also always wondered what happens if someone volunteers but the original tribute wants to go in the Games (like in 1 or 2), who decides?
When Katniss takes the stage, this is how I see the rebellion beginning. The silence of the crowd, the district gesture, a solidarity throughout the entire district. The rebels lost the original rebellion because they could not communicate and were fighting 13 individual wars, so President Snow is probably pretty weary of any sort of unification that doesn’t outright support the Capitol. I also love the juxtaposition that she can see the hills of the woods from the platform in the square. As she’s saying goodbye to her freedom, she is also saying goodbye to her freedom in the woods and her relatively safe existence. On a fun note, when Katniss gets to the train station and overanalyzes Peeta’s appearance in front of the cameras, we get our first description of Johanna Mason and her tactics in her Games.
Throughout the train ride and the initial prep, we learn a lot about the differences between how the Capitol and districts see the Games. Effie and Katniss’ prep team are so detached from the actual horrors of the Games the same way Nazis had no issue with seeing Jewish people as less. It’s not their fault, it’s how they were raised being in the Capitol and all they know. They may not realize it, but they see the tributes as subhuman and because Katniss has never experienced this before, she immediately doesn’t like any of them. She already feels like just a piece in the Games even though she won’t realize it for a while. Cinna is her saving grace, because he actually seems to understand how terrible the Games really are. Right away I suspect he is most likely part of the underground rebellion in the Capitol, if he thinks like that yet still wants to work with tributes and subsequently their mentors. When Katniss first meets him he says “I asked for District Twelve” and just keeps going as if it were common to request working with the “least desirable district”. We never get his full story, but I can only imagine what lead him to this life path.
Finally we start to see the beginnings of Everlark!! Katniss knows more about Peeta than she realizes and if they hadn’t been reaped I want to believe they’d still find each other. I could never actually Katniss making it in the mines and they have such history going back to their parents. We get our first flirty feeling from Katniss, even if she doesn’t know what that means. When Peeta complements her after the parade and smiles “unexpected warmth rushes through me”. I’ve always laughed at that remark because she’s so unused to desire and pleasure she has no understanding of what’s happening. They train together, they talk each other up, they have no clue of what’s to come. Katniss barely has a grip on the past when she realizes “I have kept track of the boy with the bread”. Her coldness throughout their training makes sense given her history of distancing herself from pleasure, such as when Prim had to “drag [her] over to admire [the cakes at the bakery]”. If it wasn’t functional she didn’t need it, so having frivolous things for enjoyment (boys) isn’t an option. Only later does she realize she can allow herself these things without harm.
As Effie tries to sell Katniss and Peeta, it’s an interesting slip-up that she says “if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls”, especially when we know the significance of the pearl in the future. Another quote that pops out to me is when she talks about Lavinia, and says “you don’t forget the face of the person who was your last hope”. She doesn’t know it now, but Katniss will be again be the face of hope for people who have nothing else to hope for. While training we see the parallels between Rue and Prim, who are both named after yellow flowers and resemble the same person to Katniss. Someone to protect.
When the interviews come, as much as she tries, Katniss isn’t going to get over her self-doubts just because Haymitch yelled at her so she isn’t very giving. She tried giving herself up, but it’s impossible when you’re talking to someone you don’t trust. When Peeta drops his bomb, we start to understand what his weapon is. While Katniss is lethal with a bow and has hunter instincts, Peeta can read people and moves a crowd with words. In his case, the pen really is more powerful than the sword.
Sassniss and other funny/interesting quotes
“District 12. Where you can starve to death in safety”
Exactly how am I supposed to work in a thank-you in there? Somehow it just won’t seem sincere if I’m trying to slit his throat.
So yes, I can handle a fork and knife. But I hate Effie’s comment so much I make a point of eating the rest of my meal with my fingers.
“Your mentor has a lot to learn about presentation. A lot about televised behavior”. Peeta unexpectedly laughs. “He was drunk,” says Peeta. “He’s drunk every year.” “Every day,” I add.
“Up, up up! It’s going to be a big, big, big day!” I try and imagine, for a moment, what it must be like inside that woman’s head.
One time, my mother told me that I always eat like I’ll never see food again. And I said “I won’t unless I bring it home.” That shut her up.
“Can you hit anything with that knife besides a table?” - Haymitch
It’s hard to hate my prep team. They’re such total idiots.
“With all that alcohol in him, it’s probably not advisable to have him around an open flame.”
Delly Cartwright is a pasty-faced, lumpy girl with yellowish hair who looks about as much like our server as a beetle does a butterfly.
You get the feeling that the knot-tying class is not the Hunger Games hot spot.
“If only you could frost someone to death”
I try and animate my face as I recall the event, a true story, in which I’d foolishly challenged a black bear over the rights to a beehive.
“Thank you for your consideration,” I say. Then I give a slight bow and walk straight toward the exit without being dismissed.
I avoid looking at anyone as I take tiny spoonfuls of fish soup. The saltiness reminds me of my tears.
“Well, Catnip, stealing’s punishable by death, or hadn’t you heard?” he says... Gale’s eyes fastened on the bow. “Can I see that?” I hand it over. “Just remember, stealing’s punishable by death.”
“See, like this. I’m smiling at you even though you’re aggravating me.” “Yes, it feels very convincing.”
#lets have some activity with the discussion questions!#thgreread#the hunger games#everlark#sassniss#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#haymitch#effie#cinna#madge#this turned out a lot longer than i thought itd be sorry#backtopanem
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So, you all know by now how much I love talking about Adachi and since I don’t have much on my hands right now, I think I’m going to do it again.
Yesterday night I stumbled upon this video while looking for ... Adachi things (yes, I do watch periodically his final battle against the IT, don’t judge me ok) and I wholeheartedly recommend it to those who still have doubts about Adachi as a villain or as a character in general.
Summing up, this video answers two questions which have gone around the fandom for a while (how old is this fandom anyway? it feels like I’ve been here forever, someone give me a veteran discount), namely:
Is Adachi realistic?
Does Adachi fit P4′s story as its villain?
I’m not going to make a summary of what the guy says in the video (I mean, watch it), but I’m going to simply add or stress some of the things he mentions.
Question 1.
"It doesn’t take an horrific childhood trauma to make a person into a monster”: I particularly loved this sentence because, well, this is kind of what Adachi’s character is all about. I think I will have to add just a little bit more of a context (because remember kids, when analyzing a character, never forget about the time and the place), by directing you to this post on the so called “Lost Decade”. Either way, what is important to understand is: Adachi is not your common villain who had childhood traumas or underwent abuses of some sort. For all we know, he lived in a well-off family who wanted him to study and become someone important and gain lots of money. Lots of pressure, of course, no time to have fun, high expectations and all that jazz, but no one would compare such things to what, for example, Goro went through. No. Poor kid had it much worse. However. As the video correctly mentions, other factors like isolation, arrogance, lack of human contact twisted his view of the world to the point of him hating his current life to death. It doesn’t take much to turn a person into a monster. Which means, that your neighbour, your childhood friend, even you, under the right conditions, can become Adachi. And this is exactly what is fascinating (and terrifying) about him. I think that many people don’t like the way he’s written because he’s too real, and deny him for what he represents: how easy it is to step on the wrong path.
However. There is something I didn’t like about that part of the video; or, let’s say, it was not clear enough. Adachi is compared to a mass-shooter who, I am very sorry, I don’t know much about. The comparison works, when the roots of their hatred towards the world are analyzed. Still, let us take a step back and try to be as objective as possible.
Adachi many and many times mentions that: “It was the TV that killed them”, “Throwing them him was never the plan”, “Everyone is the killer, including you”, “All I did was to give a little push” (quoting from memory here). Let’s leave these sentences here. Now, let’s recall the scene in the TV World where Yu confronts Adachi on his own: as we know, he shoots the boy to scare him away, but remember what Yu (or Souji, whatever floats your boat) thinks? “This didn’t seem like a threat” (again, quoting from memory). Then again, we have the infamous scene of him puking at the sight of a corpse (I have no objective proof here, but I honestly think it was a sincere....uh, puking-moment, if it makes sense). What I am trying to say is: he is not capable of killing anyone with his own hands. He did that - I mean, if Yamano was an accident, Saki surely was not- however he keeps on trying to distance himself from such things, “It was the TV that killed them”. He’s a disgusting manipulative bastard, but getting his hands dirty? I can’t see him having it. Even when stating that “We don’t need our world anymore”, Adachi can do that because he’s not actively doing it. Let the TV World engulf reality, see what I care. But firing a bullet through every people’s head and killing them? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh, nah. So, honestly? I don’t think he’d have the guts to go, I don’t know, at Junes, gun in his hand, and kill everyone.
After all. What he wants is slightly different from what a mass-shooting is. “Better for mankind to turn into shadows.” He hates this world, Adachi hates this world’s guts. But what he can’t stand is, and now I’m accurately quoting: “Once everyone turns into Shadows, they’ll still keep on living, oblivious to all the things around them...[...] No need to hold back to anything...No more pretending we don’t see things.” People see things going wrong in this society, they see injustices, they struggle to obtain nothing: and this causes pain and suffering. At the end of the day, he doesn’t want to kill people, he wants to free them from society’s chains and turn everyone into creatures of pure instinct. In his very own weird and twisted way, he thinks he’s making a change for good. And I’m going to get a bit deeper about this in just a second.
Question 2.
I don’t think I need to add much more to this part of the video. Adachi is clearly the other side of the coin of Yu. I actually want to continue talking about Adachi’s speech during his last fight.
The whole point of P4 is understanding the power behind bonds and friendships, how they make you grow and change, and help dealing with the world around you. Listening to what the others have to say, understanding and trying to put yourself in people’s shoes. And this is where the IT utterly failed.
I am not saying there was any other way to behave in such a situation: in no way I am implying they should have gone like “Owww poor little ‘dachi, it’s ok, we forgive you”. No, that asshole needed a good spanking (no innuendos intended, please, no). However.
What Adachi missed all his life was someone, anyone, to stand by his side, to vent to, I imagine, someone to share his troubles with. During his speech, he many times mentions things like “You are young and you still don’t know anything about life”, “I’m telling you this ‘cause I already went through this shit and I’m warning you kids”. He’s warning them. He’s explaining that life is not all merry and happy and friends and adventures and fun. He’s saying, you might have hopes and dreams, but life will crush them, so be prepared. And the best response the IT can give to him is “Wow this is bullshit u suck shut up”. And again, yes, they had ALL the reasons to be mad at Adachi, BUT there was no point in straightforwardly denying anything he was saying. I think that in this regard, the P5 gang did a much better job while dealing with Akechi, and I’m infinitely grateful to them for this. So, basically, what the IT did was nothing but to corroborate Adachi’s twisted view: “No one listens, no one understands”.
This pretty much covers all the topics dealt with in the video. But there is something more I want to say. Of course, the video tries to explain Adachi as a villain. And when we think about a “villain”, as the guy mentions, we think about someone who can be described by negative adjectives or emotions or words only. So, yes, the video does a good job telling you why Adachi is a well written bad guy, but despite it being the first question addressed, it does not fully explain why he is a well written human being.
When I say human being, I mean that he is capable of experiencing not only negative feelings, but also positive ones. Him caring about Dojima, or about Nanako, him showing interest in Yu’s life is not in contrast with him being the P4 (mid) villain.
Given the very poor contribution the IT gave to Adachi’s final speech (”guyz this world sucks and ill tell u why. in this essay i will” “sHUT UP ADACHI WHO CARES” >magydyne), he understands he has to abide by the rule of the world on his own. As shown in P4U, he wants nothing but serve his time in prison peacefully, he steps up only to help the guys preserve the world he still hates (’cause he still hates it ok), he understands that Minazuki is full of hatred like he once was, and hopes that he will change and open his eyes. Adachi understands the importance of the bond he shared with Dojima and realizes how blind he was. All on his own. Yeah, let’s say that Yu did like 50% of the job, but that’s because you are the main character and whatnot.
He is capable of growing, of understanding and being stubborn (’cause lets admit it this world suckz am i rite fellow kids), because he is a well written human being. He can care for Dojima, while wanting to obliterate the world. He can tuck Nanako in, and still throw Saki in the TV. People are not completely black or white; they are made of many colors and shades.
And this is it. I could talk about this piece of shit for hours, but maybe it’s better if I cut it here. Thanks for reading the whole thing, I know it’s long, so you deserve a round of applause, Adachi-style.
Wow, I’m surprised you made it this far --quote.
PS. I didn’t throw in the Ameno-Sagiri possession thing, because I wanted to be as objective and mumbojumbo-free as possible; I do believe it played a role as well, but probably only for a 20%. In any way or capacity I endorse what this piece of trash did; you can appreciate a character for what it is without calling it a poor and misunderstood babu uwu. Adachi needed prison, like, all of it. I hope he’s there staring at a wall.
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Toward a Critical Re-Evaluation of Homestuck, or: A Prayer for Andrew Hussie
(aka Off-the-Cuff Homestuck Thoughts #7)
This might be a manifesto.
Since the ending sequence of Homestuck in April 2017, and even well after the establishment of a canon aftermath for its main characters and the confirmation that there will be a further Epilogue, I've seen a sentiment among Homestuck bloggers and the Homestuck fandom that I find very frustrating, one that persists well into 2018.
The sentiment goes something like this:
"Homestuck is a meaningless work by a flippant, irreverent prankster (Andrew Hussie) who dropped his commitment to the story at the last second, and made fun of his fans for expecting there to be a meaningful ending. Furthermore, he continues to harm and belittle his fandom in the creation of Hiveswap, and only continues his work on Homestuck-related projects to exploit his audience."
Not only is this idea wrong, I find it disingenuous at best, malicious at worst, and actively detrimental to an understanding of Homestuck as a work. While it comes from an understandable frame of mind - the feeling of disappointment many of us felt at the end of Homestuck's pretty short and to-the-point Act 7 - it actively ignores the main reason *why* that ending came across as disappointing at first glance. Namely, it ignores the role serial storytelling - a necessity at that point in Homestuck's existence - played in creating misleading impressions of where the story was going among fans. Furthermore, it completely ignores how well the story arc of Act 6 Homestuck generally works when taken as a whole.
It demonstrates a very shallow understanding of Andrew Hussie as a storyteller, conflating his in-story persona with the actuality of a creator who demonstrates nothing but work ethic and commitment to his creation.
It ignores what actually happened with Hiveswap, which is that despite a frankly horrific set of circumstances that nearly prevented it from being made, Hussie was nonetheless able to gather a small team to create a game studio that delivered on every promise it ever made to Kickstarter backers and created a pretty solid, fun, and novel adventure game, with more installments and a rich evolving mystery on the way.
Finally, this interpretation completely misunderstands the way the idea of narrative is being used in the ending of Homestuck, not as a cudgel to beat off fan desire for thematic completion, but as a tool for delivering a thematically powerful narrative that draws parallels between the specter of Lord English and the way stories themselves are used as tools of oppression.
Homestuck isn't perfect, and neither is Andrew Hussie. But by and large, this popular perception of him is flat-out wrong, an exaggeration of whatever flaws he brought to the creation of Homestuck, and contributes to a misunderstanding of its ending. Indeed, I'd argue it is, in some ways, part of why Homestuck has rarely been acknowledged as a significant work of art. To understand why Homestuck is important, first we need to be able to acknowledge what it achieved.
Here's a daring notion: overall, Homestuck was and is pretty damn good.
Here are some reasons.
1) Being Forced To Tell the Story Serially Over a Slow Drip Messed With the Experience for the Reader
I can hear the bristling now. "I hated the ending," I can hear some of you saying. "It left me cold and unsatisfied, and damn it, that's an objective fact. Who are you to take that away from me?"
Actually, I'm not trying to take that away from you. Like, you're allowed to have been disappointed. I just want to point out that it might be a better ending than you gave it credit for, and explain why it came off the way it did. If you're interested in hearing me out, read on. You should know that initially, I was disappointed, too.
But after rereading Act 6 and the whole narrative leading up to that ending? I changed my mind. Rereading, I found it pretty satisfying, making a great deal of sense, capitalizing on major themes, and delivering a meaningful ending for most, if not all characters
I'll talk more about *what* I think the narrative is doing in a bit, but here's why I think it was misread, by me among many others.
Serial reading fucks with the quality of a story experience. I feel like this is a pretty uncontroversial statement. The problem with serial storytelling is that stories build on themselves, drawing on themes and ideas from earlier on to make a powerful build-up to moments of catharsis. This is the nature of story and character development. However if you're getting a story as little bits and pieces, it is much more difficult for this to happen. You lose track of these threads.
More dangerously, it's very easy to develop a set of expectations around a narrative while it's in pause mode. Little moments - intended to be part of a larger flow of ideas - completely dominate one's thinking for as long as they hold the stage. This is a common thing in fandom, especially webcomic fandoms, who deal with the slowest-drip narratives. Again and again I've seen expectations generated during webcomics' hiatuses lead fans to disappointment with the results, simply because those results have nothing to do with what was expected during one of those moments of downtime. El Goonish Shive, Sluggy Freelance, Gunnerkrigg Court - I've seen it in webcomic fandoms again and again, that the dashing of narrative expectations seemed like a betrayal of the story when read at a drip pace, but made perfect sense when viewed as a whole story.
This is not a problem Hussie was ever unaware of. Here’s an excellent discussion (among many) from one of his early Q&As that takes on the problem in detail:
The longer I do this the more I'm struck by how radical the difference is between the experiences of reading something archivally vs. serially, both for the reader, and the author if he's prone to sampling reactions frequently as I do. For the reader especially, I think the experience of day to day reading is so dramatically different, they might as well be reading a different story altogether.
The main difference is the amount of space between events the reader has, which can be filled with massive amounts of speculation, analysis, predictions, and something I guess you could call "opinion building", which can have both positive and negative effects. On the positive side, these readers become more closely engaged with the material than archival readers can be, zeroing in on details and insights which might be overlooked otherwise. On the negative side, I think that excess mental noise the space between pages allows can potentially be a bit suffocating, and put a strain on the experience the material was intended to deliver.
The archival reader always has the luxury of moving on to the next page, regardless of how he reacts to certain events, and thus can be more impassive about it. That internal cacophony isn't given time to build, and if there are reservations about a string of events, whether due to shocking revelations, or questions over the narrative merit of something, or really any form of dissatisfaction, all he has to do is keep clicking to see how it all fits together, and can make a more complete judgment with hindsight.
He goes on to discuss a specific example of how this played out for the readers:
The recent pages [the start of Horrorstuck] had me particularly conscious of the nature of serial delivery. [Eridan's betrayal] was rolled out over the course of a weekend, first with Feferi, then Kanaya. When Fereri dies, this registers as one extremely dramatic event. Cue the waiting, speculating, worrying and all that. When Kanaya dies a day or so later, it registers as a second dramatic event! Again the scrutiny begins which the space allows. Is this all too much? How do I feel about this narrative turn? Is this setting a trend for a bloodbath? Does that serve any purpose? The reader projects into the future, does a little unwitting fanfiction writing in his head, and may not like what he sees! All this activity becomes the basis for opinion building, which is sort of the emergence of an official position on matters, good or bad, which is only able to flourish in the slow-motion intake of the story. That official position can be a very stubborn thing, especially when it's negative, and seriously textures the way additional developments are regarded. It's really hard to shake a reader off an entrenched position on a matter, even when it was formed with an incomplete picture.
Reading the same events in the archive is quite different. Very little of that inner monologue takes shape. And while the events are still shocking, and the reader may raise his eyebrows a mile high, he then simply lowers them and keeps reading. In fact, because of the reading pace, I would suggest these two deaths actually register as only ONE DRAMATIC EVENT! One guy snaps and kills two characters. In the flow of straight-through reading especially, it is quite startling, tension-building, and can only serve to propel the reader into further pages, at a pace which suspends the experience-compromising (augmenting??) play-by-play.
Hussie would return to this topic again and again, including here and here and here and h8re.
This is in incredibly valuable insight for anyone who creates stories over the long term, especially webcomics. You may or may not agree that Homestuck's finale is well-executed, but I think it's hard to escape the fact that the response to Homestuck's ending, indeed, to most of Act 6, was hugely influenced by these factors. Why? Because the experience of Act 6 and 7 was more affected by hiatuses and the speculation problems they create than any other part of Homestuck.
It's hard to remember these days, but one thing that Homestuck was known for from about 2010-2013 was its absolutely preposterous rate of updates. I'm pretty sure that *was* the initial fuel for the fire that made Homestuck a huge fandom. What other website could you go to see a huge chunk of a story drop on you so regularly? No other webcomic had people using Update Checkers, programs designed to check the RSS feed of Homestuck and tell you within the minute that it had updated so you could check it out before your friends spoiled everything to you. What other webcomic ever needed such a thing? But the first era of Homestuck fandom was predicated on the idea that the comic would update every couple of days, sometimes once a day, sometimes *multiple times in the same day*. No wonder it got so huge so fast. It was an experience unlike almost anything else out there.
Around 2013 this began to change. Homestuck began having large hiatuses, the famous "pauses," and though Hussie indicated the story was working its way towards the finale, it ultimately took until the 2016 anniversary to complete.
Interestingly, it's around 2013 or so that we started seeing frustration with Homestuck break out into a large phenomenon, with many people arguing that the comic had stopped being good, and it's after the largest of these pauses, the Omegapause before the end of Act 6 and Act 7 updates, that we had the famous ending backlash.
The fact that very few people seem to have considered this in their analysis of whether Homestuck is good or not is absolutely staggering to me.
Given these factors, we would expect to see some of the enthusiasm taken out of the Homestuck fandoms during these periods, and strong opinions on where the story should go next, and, lo and behold, that's exactly what we see. The common sentiment is that Homestuck "stopped being fun during Act 6." Well, yeah, it's a lot less fun to have a comic that updates rarely than a comic that updates with loads of content very, very often. That doesn't necessarily mean the content got worse. And yet I see no one asking if this altered our perception of the story.
2) Serial Reading Problems Are Worsened In an Experimental, Twisty Story
This hiatus problem was exacerbated by the nature of Hussie's storytelling. I'd describe his writing style as "affectionate teasing": testing and pushing readers' boundaries, aiming for strong emotional reactions, constantly working to defy and mess with expectations, but ultimately working towards a rich character-based story. Hussie's work whiplashes between humor, horror, worldbuilding, action - it's intense and disconcerting at first, but once you get familiar with it, you see these that all these elements build toward a coherent whole.
I'd argue that this storytelling style is *uniquely* well-suited to long-form reading and endangered by drip-feed reading.
Because when you read piece by piece, you experience whiplash slowly, and that’s not everybody’s kink. Pieces that are meant to work together take on a different tone when read on their own. As discussed above, continuous events seem like separate events when read on their own, and this creates a *false* expectation of where the narrative is going. Furthermore, it's not as much fun to be teased or messed with in slow motion. The expectation that there will be satisfaction and resolution disappears when the current update is all you can think about. This, not a deficit in storytelling, is what created the feeling of "Homestuck’s not fun anymore." But it was the same affectionate, gently teasing storytelling as ever. But this only comes out when the work is re-read.
This is exactly what happened in Act 6 Homestuck. Events seemed like they would go on forever, when in real story terms, they went on for moments. Take the notorious Trickster "arc" (I can't even call it an arc - it’s more of a sequence if anything). Today it's remembered as an unendurable gauntlet of Hussie pushing buttons. The reality of it is, though, if you read through it, it's like Hussie pushing buttons for all of five minutes, like half a chapter from a novel. Literally all it is is: The Gang Gets High on Magic Candy > They Do Stupid Things > Blackout. Mostly it's an excuse for some serious character development *afterward* as the Alphas discuss the bad decisions that led them to this place. It may or not be perfect, but it's definitely a lot more reasonable when you see it's a quick tangent.
Act 6 is full of things like this: events remembered as horrible slogs that are really quite brief in retrospect.
This is brought home when you consider that events in Act 5 – hell, even Acts 3 and 4 – also brought on strong negative responses from the fandom - it's just that they were quickly buried under a story that was quickly moving on to other things. Here are some strong fan outrages from those days I can name off the top of my head:
--This interlude with the trolls is too long, nobody cares about the trolls, Hussie has abandoned the human kids
--Nobody cares about troll romance, switch back to the kids
--Jade hasn’t been seen onscreen for ages
--Vriska’s creation of Bec Noir shows that she is too powerful a character, she will never face comeuppance
--John is dead again and Vriska killed him???
--Killing Feferi, Tavros and Kanaya? That’s too many deaths
--I thought Feferi was supposed to unite the troll races! You’re telling me that’s not going to happen?
--Kanaya is dead??? Fuck that
--Scratching the timeline? What, Hussie, you’re going to reset everything and ruin the story?
--Equius should have gone out with more dignity, this is a betrayal of his fans
--Nepeta shouldn’t have been murdered, this is a betrayal of her fans
--Gamzee used to be cute, now he’s a murder machine, this is a betrayal of his fans
--We never found out what happened between Gamzee and Karkat? Why won’t the narrative switch back and tell us?
--Nobody cares about Doc Scratch
--Nobody cares about these stupid Ancestors, switch back to the trolls
--Vriska is DEAD? This is a betrayal of her fans
And so on. Reading Hussie’s old Formspring archives is a graduate class in this era of Homestuck fan frustration.
And yet today Act 5 is universally remembered as brilliant, thought of by many as “the time when Homestuck was great.” In my book, while Act 6 does take on different themes than Act 5 (focusing more on the protagonists’ psychology and failures), and thus may not be to everyone’s taste, the biggest difference between the two is that during Act 5, the twists and turns of the story were thought of as part of a unified whole, because the story was barreling along too fast for these complaints to stick around for long.
Given that Hussie has always been aware of the challenges of serial vs archival storytelling, I feel like the relentless output of the first five acts was in part an attempt to mitigate those problems. As if by shoveling content into the mouth of the behemoth, he could propitiate the ravenous fandom horrorterror and thereby stave off the descent of the Infernal Internet Speculation-Expectation Monster that was prophesized to devour all.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t stave it off forever, and lo, in 2013 did the IISEM descend with its glistening tentacle teeth, IA, IA, IA! CHOMP CHOMP.
It astonishes me that in some quarters folks talk about the 2013-2016 pauses as if they were something Hussie wanted, when by all evidence he tried desperately to avoid them up until that point. I don’t need to explain that these hiatuses had to do with restarting the whole process of creating Hiveswap and building a game studio from scratch, right? I don’t need to explain that he got screwed over and these were circumstances outside his control, right? Let’s assume we’re on the same page there. If not, I suggest you look into the matter before assuming these hiatuses had anything to do with creator apathy.
After a certain point, Hussie faced a difficult choice. Unable to keep up the rapid-pace storytelling, he could change the storytelling to make it suit a serial reader, or he could focus on making the story the best it could be for an archive reader.
I think he went for the better option: aiming for the archive reader. If you’re going to argue that he should have put the emphasis on the serial reader: which serial reader are we talking about here? The one who started following in Homestuck in 2010, like me? The one who started after Horrorstuck, and viewed it, but not the end of Act 5, as a complete whole? The one who joined during late Act 6? How the hell would you decide that? Whose experience is the one to privilege?
The only option that really makes sense is to aim for the version of the story that will be around the longest and experienced by the most people: the archive that is the complete story of Homestuck.
Ultimately, I don’t think he could have changed his style of storytelling anyway, and to do so would have been to lose the combination of humor, madness, and surprises that brought us all to Homestuck in the first place. Forced to reckon with a difficult situation, he focused on making his kind of story the best that it could be, and I think Homestuck is better for it.
Given his awareness of the problem as expressed above, I’m sure Hussie knew proceeding over the long term would stoke a lot of resentment in the fandom. But he went ahead and did it anyway, because his goal was not to live up to a certain set of expectations. His goal was to tell what he saw as the best possible version of the story. I have an immense respect for him for that.
3) The Last Pause is the Deepest (or: Omegapause Killed the Character Development Star)
The final hiatus problem I want to point to is that in terms of the narrative arc of Homestuck, the final pause, the Omegapause, came at the most inopportune time for readers to get a sense of the conclusion of that narrative.
Basically, many character arcs in Homestuck were concluded *before* Collide and Act 7. Before the Omegapause. Indeed, Hussie brought many long-running arcs to an end in a very satisfying way during the “conversation” sequence before the final fight, from Dave’s long-needed conversation with Dirk about Bro to Rose’s finally getting to meet and befriend Roxy, to Game Over!Terezi and (Vriska’s) reunion. In narrative terms, Collide was not the climax, even if it might have been perceived to be. The climax was the Retcon sequence preceding the conversations – the desolation of Game Over, our surviving protagonists’ despair, then victory in the form of negotiating with the Denizens, representatives of Skaia, to create a timeline in which victory may take place, both in game terms and emotional terms. The conversation before the final battle showed us an emotional victory – victory in game terms was really just icing on the cake, or an echo of that emotional victory.
The trouble is, having a long pause before the final battle sequences created the false perception that the conversation was merely the prelude to the climax: that, in fact, the climax had not yet taken place. For us serial readers, it was easy to conclude that there was further character development to come.
Well, in some ways there was, and in some ways there wasn’t. Dirk and Dave got to have another big moment in Collide that drove their themes home, while Rose and Roxy had basically already done their thing earlier and just got to fight alongside each other. Meanwhile Vriska and Caliborn’s arcs really culminated in Act 7, and some, like John’s and Ret-Terezi’s, were complicated and continued by the Credits aftermath and probably won’t be brought to a final end until the Epilogue. There’s a degree of variation, which I enjoy. Collide does serve some functions: characters who were at an emotional distance from each other (for instance Jane and Jake), got to fight alongside each other and start building back their friendships. Overall, though, the bulk of emotional entanglements got resolved in that conversation, making the Retcon the load-bearing piece of Homestuck’s climax.
This is why the Omegapause was the most dangerous pause: because it built up an expectation that things would further develop from there with new entanglements and complications, instead of aiming towards a tying-off of plot elements into a conclusion.
I remember what *I thought* the post-Omegapause sequence was going to be: a showdown between the kids and Lord English as he entered the game session through Bec Noir, Spades Slick and Lord Jack. I expected there would be a twist, and I expected one or more of our protagonists would die. I was thrown for a loop when I realized the story had basically been almost over, with no last twist, no “secret final battle” of kids vs LE in sight.
But as I reread the ending of Act 6, I realized: that would have been so much stupider than what actually happened. The fact that the kids don’t directly face LE and Vriska does is one of the most brilliant parts of the ending, and on the reread I rapidly fell in love with the Homestuck’s conclusion. What had thrown me off was the fact that I developed my expectations during a period where it looked like we were further from the end.
But in retrospect, Hussie had been saying all along that we were very close to the conclusion – it was just, at that moment, very easy to get the wrong impression.
Rarely do I see anyone taking anything like this into account.
I do think we could have benefited from more character development after the pause, if for no other reason than to overcome these problems and make the victory feel a little more grounded, and I do feel like certain characters (Jane comes to mind) got more limited and abbreviated endings. But these are minor points for me in the overall arc of Homestuck’s narrative, which in my experience establishes its conclusion very, very well.
4) Homestuck’s Ending Is a Glorious Queer Gnostic Account of Escaping from Narrative Oppression (and Yes, Virginia, it Has Character Arcs)
Okay, so I’ve written a lot about *what* I love about the ending of Homestuck elsewhere, going on for pages and pages, which you can read here and here. For now, let me just attempt (as absurd as it is) a quick summary.
Homestuck in Act 6 parallels many different motifs to drive home the idea that escaping from Lord English’s domain is an escape from a cosmic oppression, and serves as a metaphor for escaping and defying real-life oppressions and hegemonies. These motifs include Gnosticsm, queer identity, pluralism, and a metafictional examination of the controlling role of the narrative that is Homestuck itself.
Gnosticism is an ancient early alternate version of Christianity that posits a false reality created by a false creator, the Demiurge Yaldabaoth, who rules over human beings but whose domain it is the Gnostic’s quest to escape. The Demiurge styles himself a Lord God (often the very same one from Judaism and more mainstream Christianity) and an artist but is in fact incompetent and limited in comparison with the true harmonious reality. That he was able to create such a false world was a cosmic accident caused by angel-like beings known as Aeons, who existed perfect symmetrical pairs until an asymmetry caused Yaldabaoth’s creation. Sophia, the asymmetrical Aeon is our path back to that perfection. Furthermore, the false world is the world of flesh and matter and material things, while the true world is the world of ideas, symbols and archetypes, a place of divine Platonic form. By knowledge (gnosis) we become our true selves and are set free. Gnosticism is anti-authoritarian, anti-patriarchal, and devoted to each human being’s quest to connect to the divine on their own terms.
Gnostic motifs proliferate everywhere in Homestuck, especially Act 6, from such chat handles as GardenGnostic, TimaeusTestified, and TipsyGnostalgic to basically everything about Calliope and Caliborn, including and especially their role in the finale. Act 7 depicts Caliborn as trapped within the realm he is created, destined for power but ultimately doomed to it, destroyed in the perfect moment where Calliope, his counterpart, brings his domain to an end.
Caliborn’s realm is the sequence of time loops and set of worlds that brought Lord English into being, but it’s also the narrative Homestuck that depicts those events and worlds. He complains about the narrative Homestuck, argues with its author, and tries to make his own version, just as a demiurge would. (Secretly, because of his cosmic influence, he’s more of an influence than he realizes. He places limits and boundaries on these worlds in the form of the narratives he perpetuates, and is obsessed with sexist ideas, exploitation, and themes of masculinity, importance and power. That the heroes escape this realm in which he has control is also them escaping these narratives that have been placed upon them.
This is the sense in which Dave says “we don’t have arcs.” As I’ve said elsewhere, it’s not Hussie rejecting the idea of giving his characters meaningful stories (this is largely a false impression generated by the Omegapause weirdness), as shown by the fact that Dave himself has one of the best, strongest arcs in the whole story. What Dave means, and what Dave’s arc is about, is that he had to let go of the false ideas, false narratives placed on him by the world (Lord English’s world, the Demiurge’s world) in which he lived. He did this by understanding the abuse he suffered from Bro (a Caliborn-esque figure) was wrong, and by overcoming his internalized homophobia to realize the value of the relationship he’d found with Karkat.
This is a frequent motif in the final pages of Homestuck. Queerness is represented as a way of escaping the patriarchal, conservative God of the Demiurge, and that these revelations about Dave appear in parallel with the final departure from the domain Caliborn controls is no coincidence. Queer relationships and identities build in the ending of Homestuck into what Hussie tongue-in-cheek called “the gay singularity.” This growth in queerness is represented as growth toward meaning, and further queer figures like the non-binary Davepeta appear as idealistic mentors to teach our heroes to understand their cosmic circumstances.
At the same time, the growth from a material world to a world of ideas is represented as the heroes taking on God Tier identities that embody aspects—ideas that are literally the building blocks of the universe. To know yourself as an aspect is to know who you are, and by knowing who you are, you become an idea that is divine. This all takes place at the same time characters grow towards queerness. To know your own queer identity is also to become divine.
And, at the same time, the characters leave the narrative. Everything that was Caliborn’s – his worlds, his time loops and influence— is left behind by the characters as they move into the realm where they are heroes, leaders, and gods. They pass through a door that resembles the weapon that he used, that is his narrative, the weapon shaped like the symbol of Homestuck, the weapon that *is* the narrative Homestuck. It is a weapon against him because he stays behind, on the other side of the door. Lord English can never leave. He’s in the dark pocket of the black hole forever. Caliborn enters a realm that appears to give him power—but he never comes out. He’s trapped by his own limited idea of who he is and what the world should be.
This is a fantastic, culturally resonant, and very Gnostic ending.
And as to Vriska—I’ve seen many people say that Vriska’s retconned revival gives her too much power and agency, but I actually think it strikes the perfect balance. The story understands what she wants. But it’s not on her side. I have a lot more to say about her (perhaps l8r), but here’s the most important thing: Vriska can’t leave, either. She gets what she wants: the ultimate fulfilment of her identity as The Hero. She gets to Kill the Bad Guy. But at a cost she is incapable of recognizing. Like Caliborn, she never gets to go on to be a fulfilled, happy patron of the new universe. She is always on the inside of the door, stuck inside Homestuck. And the fact that we’re asked to observe her breaking off her relationship with Terezi to go out in a blaze of glory? The fact that we’re asked to compare her to another version of herself who’s let go of her ego, whose bond with Terezi is the most important thing in her life? The fact, that in her eyes, she comes up better, but in ours, she comes up short? How incredible is that?
Neither the Hero or the Villain, trapped in their own ideas, trapped by their own ideas, can ever be free.
It’s a pretty good ending, is what I’m saying.
5) Against Apathetic Lazy Troll Hussie
So, back to that perception of Hussie I discussed earlier. The idea that he’s a flippant, irreverent prankster who never cared about bringing his story to a good conclusion.
By now it should be clear why I don’t really buy that line of thinking. The sheer effort put into Homestuck after the pauses began, the level of thematic complexity Homestuck was going for at the end—these belie the idea that he was apathetic or lazy or wanted to piss off his fans. What seems obvious to me was that he was committed. He devoted himself to driving towards an end he was personally satisfied with, whatever anyone else thought of it, and chose to accept the consequences of having to tell it over the long term.
I could see how it might be easy to get the impression that Hussie’s a very frivolous, thoughtless guy, when his in-story self is a ridiculous, flighty orange goofball. But come on. That’s mistaking the persona he uses for comedy with his actual self as a writer. Reading any interview, Q&A session, or discussion with him reveals how much thought he put into every moment of Homestuck, and above all, that he was committed to putting an incredible amount of effort into it from the very beginning.
He was also committed to challenging himself and bettering his work, whether that meant trying new experiments (flash games, new animation styles, splitting panels and dialogue, messing with formatting, letting the villains take over the website, etc., etc., etc…) or rethinking his work to take account of a larger, more diverse perspective, as we saw with the developing queerness and introspection of characters like Dave.
Yet he knew that not all experiments would be received well. He chose to accept that, to not wallow in the familiar but to take on new things regardless of in-the-moment reader reactions. As he put it:
I guess I just believe in sticking to your guns as a creator. It doesn't mean you completely ignore what people have to say or fail to take it under advisement, but pandering and caving into critics for fear of diminished appreciation is the wrong way to go. Staying the course with your vision doesn't mean you'll do everything right, but if included in that vision is serious, concerted exploration, you can only benefit as an artist. Adversaries to this cause should be regarded as villains.
There are two ways to do the "obstinate douche bag" thing as an artist.
One is in vehement defense of stagnation. Some artists I've encountered do this, and it's completely indefensible. It's as low as you can get, creatively speaking.
The other is in vehement defense of exploration. This is just the opposite. This is a posture everyone should strive for, and these artists are the ones people should be most inclined to offer their attention and support.
That's just how I feel about it, and I come from a zero-BS standpoint on it all. This isn't a job for me, and I'll never modify my approach to protect a bottom line. If it was just a job, I guarantee I wouldn't spend every waking hour doing it. It's kind of a strange personal mission I'm on, which I happen to make money from, and that's cool. People are welcome to come along for the ride.
There’s a deep, deep irony to me in the fact that some talk about Act 6 Homestuck like it was a stagnant period in Homestuck’s development, when in fact, it was one of its most creative and experimental periods. This is true both of its structural and visual experiments, where messing with form finally revealed itself to be central to Homestuck’s major themes, and of its storytelling experiments. It’s understandable that diving into the kids’ psychological problems was a shift, and not everyone was down with it, but the very fact it was a shift shows that Hussie was trying new things. It would have been easy for him to stay in a comfortable place doing the same things he did in Act 4 and 5, but instead, he began to ask different questions and take the story someplace new. And honestly? Act 6 took a long time to pay its full dividends, but I loved where we ended up in the end.
(What kept us from enjoying it in the moment? The pauses. Once again the pauses.)
But for me, the thing that most puts the lie to the idea of Lazy Hussie is the sheer fact of Act 6’s existence itself.
Consider how easy it would have been to drop Homestuck completely when things got rough in the middle years. Consider how many webcomic authors would have done just that. I can name many webcomic hiatuses where the webcomic never came back.
But Homestuck did. Not only did it return, it returned spectacularly, scorchingly, with the shocking and dynamic Game Over, with Caliborn’s claymations, with two spectacular, full-length animations, one of them lovingly-hand drawn. It returned with metafictional shenanigans and glorious queer Gnostic themes. Hussie kept going, and kept experimenting all along the way.
This is the furthest thing in the world from laziness.
And the same is true for Hiveswap. It astonishes me how much I’ve heard Hiveswap talked about as a debacle or a betrayal of its fans. Despite having horrible problems dropped on him, the sort that would ruin any other Kickstarter, Hussie spent the next few years working to make sure he met the promises he’d made to his fans. He did.
My dudes, Hiveswap is real. It exists. It delivers on every promise that was made about what it might be: it’s a fun, pretty, point-and-click adventure game telling a new story in the world of Homestuck. It’s creative and clever and updates an old style of gameplay by letting you put things on things to your heart’s content. It’s certainly more accessible than Homestuck, and not yet as structurally complex, but given future installments, there’s plenty of time for it to grow into something rich and thorny. And rather than see this idea go under, from basically nowhere Hussie worked to bring together a small, diverse team of queer artists and creators to make this thing happen.
Again, not exactly laziness.
That’s why it angers me when I see people calling Hiveswap (somehow?) a betrayal of Homestuck fans, or advocating pirating Hiveswap or demanding their money back because it doesn’t live up to some weird set of expectations they placed on it. Maybe during the periods of drought and ambiguous release dates, both for Homestuck and Hiveswap, it made a little sense to be skeptical of Hussie making promises, but now?
It’s basically spitting in the face of a creator who kept working in the most difficult circumstances, and the small, insanely hard-working team who made it possible, over something that they’ve handed to you exactly as you specified right on your doorstep in a gift-wrapped box.
I’m not saying you can’t critique Hussie or his storytelling. He’s definitely a weird dude with a lot of quirks (Which is perhaps the only kind of dude who could have made something as quirky as Homestuck.) I think it’s fair to say he hasn’t always communicated well with the fandom. But the reaction to him these days is totally, ludicrously, out of proportion, beyond anything that would be a useful critique.
A related question is whether Andrew Hussie is burnt out on Homestuck.
Well, maybe?
It’s certainly true that since 2013ish he’s stepped away somewhat from communicating directly with his fans. But 2013 is also the time when Homestuck fandom was at its most massive, its most full of infighting and meaningless arguments, and its most overwhelming to keep up with. I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to hear more of his insights, but it’s pretty understandable that he wanted to step back a bit under the circumstances. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s burnt out. I mean, he seems to be living his best life, posing glamorously with his fidget spinners and Minion t-shirts. Not exactly hiding in a cave. Rock on, dude.
If he is burnt out on Homestuck, though, that makes what he’s done with Homestuck and Hiveswap all the more impressive. That he brought them this far, and wants to see them keep going and keep doing well, when he could have let them drop unceremoniously a long time ago. If he’s delegating some of the work to others, all the better. I can think of nothing better for an artist who’s burnt out and ready to move on than to find people he can trust to keep the things he started going into the future, and that, I think is exactly what we have in What Pumpkin, Viz, and Homestuck’s artistic team.
But even to assume that he’s burnt out is to presume a lot about his mental state from some very scant data. By many other indications, he wants to keep engaging with Homestuck. There’s an Epilogue to come—a capstone for those last few ambiguities surrounding the timeline, John and Terezi. And he’s getting the Homestuck books re-published with new commentary through Viz—so maybe that’s where he wants to have his conversations with his audience. And he’s still the creative director of Hiveswap itself. It’s very possible he’s not burned out—if anything, wants to keep building the world he created in Homestuck and seeing where he can take it next.
Ultimately, I think people’s ideas about Andrew Hussie say a lot more about their lingering feelings about the ending of Homestuck—a backlash brought on by the pauses he had to work with—than anything about Hussie himself.
6) The Conversation Around Homestuck
Homestuck is a goddamn triumph.
There are certainly critiques I could make of it. But they pale in light of what Homestuck is: is one of the most rich, genre-bending, experimental, character-driven, hilarious, innovative, metafictional, transcendent, optimistic works on the Internet—to say nothing of how it dwarfs much of the rest of literature.
Ultimately, I think Hussie was right: as an archive, as the story it is from beginning to end, Homestuck stands. It’s a rich, meaningful work with a meaningful finale, and it’s right there to be read by anyone who wants to read it. In that sense, Homestuck was and Homestuck is. It doesn’t really need me to defend it. Nor does Andrew Hussie.
So why did I write all this? Why did I write everything I’ve written here on this blog?
Well, mostly for Homestuck’s readers. For fans like myself.
Because I still see people who came away from Homestuck feeling totally burned and abandoned by its creator, when that was anything but the truth. Because I still see people who feel like they can’t escape an awful negativity about this comic, about the ending of something they passionately loved. I want them to see that it doesn’t have to feel that way.
And because I want Homestuck criticism to be better. Because I see prominent bloggers, some of whom I really respect, taking so little of this stuff into account. I want to see people talk about Homestuck’s place in literature, in internet culture, without discounting how circumstances shaped how it was perceived. I want to get away from a lazy cynicism—that cynicism everywhere online—about whether stories can be meaningful at all. A cynicism that Homestuck is the very antithesis of through its themes of transcendence and hope.
I think for some people, Homestuck is that weird old obsession they cringe at. The ghost of teenage fandoms past. Which is fine. It’s reasonable to want to move on. But it frustrates me when I see the same cynical, cringing attitude affecting how people feel—or feel like they’re allowed to feel without social stigma—about the work Homestuck itself. I’m not interested in cringe culture.
I frankly don’t have time for it when Homestuck’s as good as it is.
Don’t get me wrong, I want Homestuck to be criticized, too. I want to hear what its flaws are. I think that’s also an important part of the conversation. But don’t tell me it’s a pointless, apathetic work, that it’s just the product of laziness. Because we know better than that by now. Because we need a better conversation than that. Don’t tell me that Homestuck doesn’t have Gnostic themes. Tell me how it uses them, and how it could use them better. Don’t tell me Homestuck’s meaningless. Tell me how it strives to be meaningful—because it does, in every aspect of its storytelling—and tell me where it succeeds, and where it fails.
That’s the kind of conversation I want to have about Homestuck.
You may not agree with the things I’ve pointed to here—you may think that Homestuck’s ending is much more flawed than I do. But that’s totally fair. All I want to say is this:
If you were holding off from letting yourself enjoy Homestuck, or if you once enjoyed it and wish you could enjoy it again, or if the experience of the ending left you feeling disappointed and frustrated and burned out…
Give it another read, especially Act 6 and 7.
You might be surprised how much you like what you find.
#homestuck#homestuck ending#homestuck analysis#homestuck criticism#andrew hussie#off-the-cuff homestuck thoughts extravaganza 2017#now in 2018#in defense of homestuck#homestuck fandom#understanding homestuck#ending themes#understanding the ending#serial vs archival reading#homestuck is good actually#against lazy cynicsm#towards a better conversation#keep rising
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hey! so, the thing is I used to be really involved in tjlc pre s4 and it pretty much crushed me when the season aired and I just made a hard cut and distanced myself completely from it all. though I just kept on missing it, I didn't dare return to it, not even other adaptations. but recently, I just felt such a strong need to come back and it started with granada and tplosh but in the end, I just couldn't help myself and here I am thinking about Them again. and I've realised there are actually still a few people actually believing in tjlc, even some new ones. and I don't know, I guess I was just wondering if you could tell me why you still believe, if you really think they're actually going to make them canonically in love/in a relationship after all, what you think about a possible season 5 etc.? I know it's a lot to ask, I guess I just want to be convinced again haha
anyway, thank you for your time if you indeed answer this and of not then thank you anyway!
oh, hi! i'd sort of forgotten my ask box was open, so sorry for the late answer! this got a bit long, so i'll put it under a cut
[[MORE]]
first off, if you do rejoin the fandom, believing in tjlc or not, welcome back and i hope you have fun!
for me still believing in tjlc mostly boils down to this: 1. all the things that we saw in canon pre-s4 still exist, they are still in the text of the show. s4 doesn't change that just because it didn't go how we thought it would. 2. s4 doesn't make sense in ways that are too specific to not be on purpose.
number 1 is pretty self-explanatory i think, but just to throw some stuff you might remember back at you:
sherlock never denying insinuations that he's gay or that he and john are a couple, despite being mr. 'i get the last word'
sherlock saying 'into battle' while psyching himself up for john's wedding. sherlock watching sadly during john and mary's first dance and then leaving the wedding early. mind palace mary wearing her wedding dress while shooting sherlock in the heart.
john not being able to say the words he always meant to say to sherlock, even during therapy (what could they have been? i know what i think)
irene saying 'somebody loves you' to sherlock when she realises john was careful to not actually hurt him when punching him in the face. irene immediately following that up with asking john 'are you feeling exposed?'
john being sherlock's pressure point
i'm sorry, i gotta come back to the beginning real quick, everyone thinks sherlock is gay. mrs hudson (two rooms?). mycroft (happy announcement?). angelo (nice and romantic). janine (i know what kind of man you are).
that one post from the mofftiss tumblr q&a where the question is 'is sherlock saying i love you to john' and gatiss is like 'no, unless he's talking to a mirror' and we find out sherlock's talking to molly! john's main narrative mirror! mindboggling
that's just what comes to my mind right now, but there's of course still so much more. i sadly don't have a collection of all the old metas at hand but i know other people do, so i'd recommend you go searching for those.
as for 2. there's two pieces of particularly brilliant s4 meta that are keeping me afloat (and that i think i stole most of the points i make here from), i'll link them here and here. believe me, if you wanna believe in tjlc again, this is what you wanna read.
there was also a post that links weird things happening in s4 to bits from the earlier seasons, but i can't find it rn, i will link it if i do find it later.
but the one big thing that tells me s4 being the way it is was planned, is mary's death.
in s3 we get a 'how not to: death by gunshot' and it's
you don't get thrown across the room
you only have a few seconds of consciousness. choose wisely what to do
(if john watson is there, he will act like the army doctor he is)
in s4 we get
mary has time to throw herself in front of the bullet, then gets thrown across the room because of the bullet impact
mary holds a full 60 second monologue while bleeding out
(instead of trying to stop the bleeding or calling an ambulance, john just moos sadly)
it's the exact opposite. that is on purpose. whether it is on purpose to tip us off that s4 is not reliable narration - or if mofftiss genuinely decided to just say, fuck it, let's be weird as hell for no reason - that i can't promise. i choose to believe it is the former.
and, in terms of the five act structure: act 4 is supposed to hurt. usually, it's supposed to hurt, and seem so bad that it can't be fixed, to the *characters* not to the *fans* - but when have mofftiss ever done anything in a normal way, eh? because act 4 is when you lose all hope before the grand finale in act 5.
as for s5, idk if you know this or not but there was a 10 year anniversary q&a (it's on yt) in which mark gatiss said something about us being the most patient fans ever or so (i don't have the exact words). that made me go 👀 with regards to a potential s5 for sure.
also also, sherlock never officially got cancelled. and they were originally signed for 5 seasons from what i understand. everyone just thinks it's over because it seems over.
so long story short, i still think most of the original meta and analysis from before s4 holds up, i think mofftiss are willing to do some weird abstract shit that maybe we just don't understand yet (but that ultimately, hopefully, has purpose) and they always said there'd be 5 seasons
that was a long ramble, oops! but i hope it helps a little bit.
lastly, i should also point out that if it sizzles out and we never hear anything about sherlock again, that would not be the end of the world for me. i believe canon johnlock is the thing that makes the most sense for how the show is set up - but i'm well aware of the possibility that there might be things behind the scenes that we're not privy to and that might have changed the original course of the show. i do like to keep entertaining the idea of a s5 that proves tjlc until we have reason to think otherwise though!
#it is 1am i hope this is vagurly coherent woops#also feel free to ask if you have any specific questions or such#my dms are also open!#marty.txt
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i'm new to the death note fandom, and everyone seems to have vastly varying interpretations of L's character do you mind talking a bit about how you interpret him?
hi anon! first of all: welcome to the fandom! we’re not dead but we’re close enough that you could bury us by mistake. always good to have new people. :-) as for your question…. *cracks knuckles* i’m so glad you asked.
thinking about it, i guess i interpret/have interpreted L in a lot of different ways since i first got into death note. of all the main dn characters, he invites the widest range of interpretations. not only did ohba state that much (most?) of what L says is a lie, L also refers to himself as a liar on at least one canon occasion. add to that the variation in his characterization between the early manga chapters (scenes where he is alone) and the later ones (scenes where he is around other characters), the ryuzaki alias and mannerisms being used by b in labb in such a way that calls into question their origin and authenticity, and the general tilt of facetiousness to most of his dialogue (depending on who’s playing him. alessendro juliani’s L constantly talks like he is lowkey making fun of everyone), and it’s no big mystery why there’s so many fanon versions of him. he’s a character that’s enigmatic enough to generate questions in and of himself, and when you give the fandom a decade to stew over those questions, this is what happens.
(small aside: this is one of the things i absolutely love about fandom. the way that one work can spawn so many works, and one character can spawn so many permutations. as someone who spends a lot of time creating and developing characters on my own, it’s humbling and amazing to see characterizations crowd-sourced over such a long period of time from people all over the world. that doesn’t just go for L, but for all of my favorite characters who have enjoyed long and complex fanon careers. i’m looking at you, Every Harry Potter Character.)
as for my personal interpretation of L? if you’re looking for the cliff’s notes, it can be summed up pretty well by this post.
the full earful is:
since i’ve ever been in the fandom (say 2013 ish?), L’s characterization has been a hot topic. this was discourse before it was even called discourse. (rip “fandom wank”.) there was a good portion of people who were big fans of L, saw him as the “good” character to light’s “bad,” and just wanted to fantasize about their anime husbando in peace, goddammit. the backlash to that was the establishment of a long and enduring tradition of posts pointing out all of L’s morally dodgy actions, and tagging pictures of him with #garbage man or something along those lines. that was definitely an aspect of my brand when i was a popular blog. “this is my favorite character in the series and how dare you say that he is a good person!!!!” at the time i was very into squabbling over anime character interpretations. idk what ya’ll were/are doing in your teens, but that’s what i did.
at this point? i see it like this: in the canon, there’s a sharp disconnect between L’s quirky, pun-making, donut-scarfing, face-pulling personality and the insidiousness of his tactics. you can only really read his disregard for the law and for conventional human decency as harmless if you assume he is stupid, and since the very basis of the plot rests on the viewer accepting his (and light’s) genius, then that means he is smart enough to know exactly what he is doing and in what ways it is wrong, and doing it anyway because he believes that it’s necessary to achieve his ends. what’s cool about this is that ohba doesn’t insist on this perception. it isn’t hammered into the bones of the story the way that light’s hypocrisy is (probably because it was more incidental than not) but it is very much there in between the lines: L is not a better person than light, just more subtle.
something that i have always really liked about death note as a piece of media is that, although it is a heavy-handed, cartoonish (literally, yes, but also thematically) shonen jump series where all the characters are caricatures, it occupies this weird space of bleak realism that fits so strangely within its genre that it is almost like the whole world of the story is being pulled in two totally opposite and incompatible directions. light’s bond-villian-esque tirades are bordered by panels of disturbing domestic emptiness. L’s helicopter-flying, ice cream guzzling world’s greatest detective (like, honestly, how is that a real title that exists and is known and cared about by the public?) schtick overlays scenes of him holding suspects for fifty days, limbs bound, without trial. there’s a morbidity to all the fun in death note and i think one of the reasons L is so popular, and so polarizing, is because he holds those two aspects pretty well in balance. after his death, light’s desolateness is the only thing left standing. (i’m not saying mello and near aren’t fun, but i’d argue that their isolation from each other makes it so their morbidity outweighs the level of fun they can produce.)
if you skew a lot closer to the more sober and realistic aspects of death note and further from the hijinks of its genre, that’s where my interpretation of L sits. i think, if this person actually existed, what would he be like? probably unhealthy, both physically and emotionally, but high functioning. desensitized by over-exposure to disturbing stimuli. prone to exaggerating his natural eccentricities in order to throw people off. egotistical, but also preoccupied with things that have the potential to prove him wrong. enamored by the mysterious. terrified of death. disfigured by physically damaging habits but too set in them to want to change. do i see him as a bad person? well, it’s next to impossible to wield that amount of power and not be. L’s power is integral to his character. if he had no money, no handler, no international reputation, or ability to construct a building a moment’s notice, or helicopter, or sway with which to bypass a police protocol—well, then it wouldn’t matter what his ethical philosophy was. (which, the canon suggests, pretty much boils down to: “L always gets his man” *finger gun* *wink*). just like light’s self-aggrandizing idealism would be more or less harmless without the death note, L’s identity is inextricable from his role as the world’s greatest (three) detective(s). without those larger than life roles, light is just the pretentious kid going off in your intro to ethics class and L is just the harried professor pinching the bridge of his nose and wondering how academically scrupulous it is to tell him to shut up. (and yes, please, someone write that au.)
that’s just my canon analysis, though. i think, especially for new death note fans, coming straight from the source material into the world of totally wacky and incongruent fanon ideas and characterizations can be very disorienting. if you want to know all my self indulgent characterizations that i assign to L just because i like them and not because i have any good reason to, that’s a whole separate post. (hint: they involve a victorian gothic childhood and an interest in power-bottoming for the people whose paychecks he signs/prison cells he holds the keys to.)
sorry to go off, anon! i’m not even sure i fully answered your question but hopefully this provided a little clarity as to why this fandom is in disparate characterization shambles.
actually i think it would be cool to hear from a lot of people about their L interpretation. if you asked this q to multiple people, anon, you should amass the highlights into a mega-post of crowd-sourced L characterization or something.
#death note#l lawliet#jaye writes meta#catch me fucking critically examining death note as a piece of media in 2017#ok not that critically#but still yeah i still have a feeling or 80 about all thus shit#sorry to go so funking off course. like. really if you want an a straight answer just read the post i linked#actually i think beyond or matt would be the best candidate for a crowd source characterization post but i digress#Anonymous#asks
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