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queenoftheantz · 23 days

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Top 5 Anime/Manga characters of all time and why?

oh wow hmmm....

Completely subjectively:

Oikawa Tooru (haikyuu!!)

Oikawa... he is just yknow. My Character. But I also often in my daily life have a little Oikawa in my head reminding me that my passion is my passion because it's fun and I love it. That talent and skill are intertwined but also not static or pre-determined, that I might not be as good as I think I should be, and I might never be, but if I don't try I definitely won't. Maybe I will reach my goal today, or tomorrow, or in 30 years. And I can do it at the pace and path that suits me. He speaks of all this AS WELL as the very bitter feelings that preceeds these revelations. I also really love his focus on facilitating others, of reaching potential together, of trust and faith in his team and their in him!

2. Marcille Donato (Dungeon Meshi)

Oh Marcille. (Manga spoilers here) Marcille started out so silly and to be honest? Annoying? Girly and anxious and squemish. But then you realise that these parts are absolutely true, but she is also determined and loyal and scared and unafraid and skilled. The firly and squemish becomes charming in contrast to her being excited to experience death and morally ambigious enough to use ancient magic or become a dungeon lord. And then you learn even more about her and her family, the way she grew up and how she probably is... pretty young, considering everything. The knowledge and life experience of someone being 40 maybe, but with the brain to handle it of a 19 year old... she is so afraid for everyone to die away and yet she cant help but love people! Isn't that lovely!? And as someone very afraid to lose my parents I really really feel for her relationship with her father. I think Marcille was a character who really illustrates the progression of tone in Dungeon meshi, represents the themes of the story so well, and really grew on me. Also gay. hi.

3. Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

I know people don't like this guy but he shaped me so much as a teen. I think his journey through lacking self-esteem and depression and self hatred is both fascinating, nuanced and in the end, encouraging! Imagine being offered to join humanity all as one, never feel rejected or alone again and then DESPITE all he has gone through, chosing to be yourself after all! And frankly I love that the show lets him be cowardly and weak and unsympathetic, it makes him more real and make his strong moments stronger. Also gay. hi

4. Mob (Mob psycho 100)

Mobs story is more low key, but I also enjoy a story about a young boy who FIRST has to find the motivation to improve himself, and THEN has to realise that improving yourself and being a good person does not necessarily mean to surpress any negative or strong emotions. Once again, a story about acceoting yourself, even the sides you have a hard time controlling and find off-putting or scary. And I think Mob gets to realise this in a silly and gently way!

5. Abe takaya (ookiku furikabutte)

Oh Abe. It's that one page. When he is explaining to Sakeaguchi his backstory with Haruna, and he is talking about it so casually, it's no big deal, but you can tell. "Everyone is afraid of pain". It makes my heart clench every time. It's his control-issues, his fast felling into caring about Mihashi as a person, but then slowly realising what that actually means. It's him being shocked by the smile, it's him doing anything to win, it's him not realising how mean he is. In a different story Abe would have been a bully. But fortunately for him Momoe and the team and Mihashi himself are not putting up with any of it and he slowly and also gently improves himself. I gotta catch up with oofuri. (also gay. hi)

Shout outs to: Hinata Shoyo (of course), Mihashi Ren (also of course), Edward Elric, Sophie (Howls moving castle movie), Reigen (im not immune), Tamaki (ohshc, sometimes i just think about him and hes so charming and fun and i relate), Kanamori (Keep your hands off Eizouken!, shes just. so cool. It's a fun show but every time shes on screen im blushing a bit shes just! Wow!), and the straight college student from one of my fave BL's who has to go on a personal journey to accept that he actually likes a man who's bigger and taller than him and has a big ass. Shoutouts to him too.

#antswers #Anonymous #recs

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inventedfangirling · 10 months

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Pran's Growth : from pran-so-cool to pran-in-love

Since I did one for Pat I thought I should do one for Pran too although this one turned out slightly different than Pat's and far faaaar (im talking crazy levels of scrolling far) more detailed because i'm only human idk how to be brief about Pran FORGIVE ME.

Look at him he's my baby, i just CANNOT. So that now we have established that I have unexplainable levels of fondness for him, and so can only view his actions through love tinted glasses which means i'm basically Pat which means I'm super qualified to write this post, lets move on to what i actually wanted to say.

The first glimpse we get of Pran's mind (if you look in the chronological order of events in the show's universe) then its during his conversation with Pat where they discuss what song to perform for christmas.

Here we see the normally closed off Pran share his feelings (albeit about the topic of the song) with Pat with an ease that feels uncharacteristic of the Pran we come to see later. Because while Dissaya was still overbearing and controlling, Pran hadn't had to bear the worst of it yet. For a single child without friends that he could really open up to, it was natural for Pran to feel a pull towards Pat boisterous though he was, because he offered him a space where he could for the first time in his life open up in.

It could be argued that Pran didn't reveal anything to Pat (it could be argued otherwise too i will get to it soon) but for a person of Pran's nature, who finds expressing himself difficult the space Pat offered for him to express his creativity and his passion for music and song writing was by itself a lot. But it's not just that. Pran is not only talking about a random song is he? He is talking about putting his actual feelings into the song. How he likes the feeling of hesitation of wanting to jump in but being afraid to be heartbroken.

He is knowingly or unknowingly speaking about his own feelings with respect to Pat. I say unknowingly because it is hard to imagine Pran really revealing his heart like that if he really knew what he was going through at that very moment.

And how does Pat react to Pran's words. He pays attention, listens intently and encourages Pran's idea. Pran opened up and Pat let him and Pran actually felt great about it. Its one of the rare moments in his life where he could be honest about something so special.

And then Pat goes on doing random thoughtful acts like making the guitar pick out of his own ID just cos he saw Pran was struggling to play the guitar without it. He had nothing to gain and he still did that. He is nice to him. He says hi to him by the juice stand, he tells him he'd see him in the music room. Like he wants to see him there. Pran almost forgets their family feud. He was falling in love after all. How could he not?

The feeling being new to him, Pran like any teenager was curious to see what would happen?

What if I step closer? What if we spend more time together? What if i was more nice to him? Could something actually happen?

But then he sees InkPat in the music room and Pran loses the spirit he had suddenly gained.

Maybe not. Pat probably didnt feel the same way.

And then the bracelet thing happens.

Of course he didnt feel the same way.

And then the christmas show happens and they practice together again, they play music together again and music and his feelings for Pat have somehow been inextricably intertwined ever since that conversation they first had about the song. And so here he was finally singing the song in front of people, declaring his feelings out loud, and the crowd was actually cheering and grooving to their song and the whole vibe of it puts him in a space where he feels anything could happen and in a rare moment of indulgence he turns to smile at Pat while singing the song he wrote about them.

But then before he could even taste the feeling of freedom that that performance was potentially offering him, it all comes crashing down as he sees his parents standing in front of him, face aghast and anger writ large on it. And before Pran knows it he's shipped off to a boarding school away from everything he ever knew.

For any teenager that's a harsh change. For a neurodivergent gay introvert like Pran it would have been an even more isolating experience. Finding himself in an unfamiliar environment with no friends, no family and just a bunch of strangers, his only companions the anger and frustration at the whole situation at his mother and the boy who broke his heart (oblivious though he was of it).

How could Pran have let this happen? How could he have ever thought there was something there? And even if there was, that something could happen? How could he let him in? Of course it was gonna end up like this.

3 years at the boarding school pass and we can assume that Pran makes his own set of friends during this time. But we know that none if any are close enough for him to even bring up later on. Which means the one person who got him to open up, who gave him a safe space to talk and share feelings was still Pat. The one person he didn't have to be anything other than himself was, Pat. The only person who he ever felt comfortable enough to open up to was Pat. And Pran can't believe his terrible luck when he sees him stand across from him.

Unlike Pat who has seemingly gone back to acting like a spoilt child fighting for no reason who is trying to hold onto the person he had become the past 3 years when Pran sees Pat all his feelings come rushing back to him. Despite it all, despite the three years of gap where he swore to never let himself be in such a position again, the moment he sees Pat he is gone again. Because the three years felt like nothing suddenly. And he's once again standing across from the boy who broke his heart.

Why the hell did this have to happen? Out of all the universities he could go to, why this one?

And this time things are more conducive to their budding friendship. And Pat soon gives up his macho act and somehow keeps finding excuses to spend time with him. Of course Pran's feelings sprung back up in twice the ferocity.

His defences were still up but what the hell was happening?

Why is he helping him out for no reason? Why is he offering to do that? What the hell is being like this way for? Why is he smiling at his dimples like that? This possibly can't be real.

And yet. Day after day Pat keeps coming back and Pran's defenses are slowly threatening to come down and it's scary but its also exhilarating, but it's mostly scary.

And then he's proven right. To have been scared.

Because of course Pat never feels the same way. Of course he likes Ink. Of course that's what was happening all along. Silly Pran letting himself hope again. How foolish of him.

Episode 5 is Pran scrambling to pull back and secure his defenses, Pat is never getting through this wall again. He's done with this. He can't possibly be heartbroken over and over and over again for the same oblivious guy who probably has not a single clue what he's doing to Pran's heart.

And then the freshy night happens and then Pat acts a confusing combination of angry and hurt at the bar and Pran is supposed to be celebrating but he can't wipe Pat's betrayed face from his mind and then if that wasn't enough the confrontation with Wai happens and things come to a shrieking halt in the rooftop where Pran has finally had it. He tells him.

He finally lets it out, in the most Pran way he could at that point, telling Pat to not give him any hope to not do this to him. But instead of the final nail on the coffin that he expects Pat to hammer in, he knocks the winds out of him as he tells no, because no he actually does not want to be friends. He actually wanted what Pran wanted?

After all this time?

And then they step closer and wait for a while before Pat finally leans in, giving him the kiss that he had been dreaming about since god knows how long. Except the kiss is too short and maybe Pat had only that much to give, but Pran had years worth of love and want and longing he had been carrying around and he wanted nothing more than to let it all go. And so he does. He pulls Pat closer and gives him the kiss that he's been wanting to give him forever.

Pran tells Pat every single one of his feelings through that kiss. Because he was never going to ever be able to put them into words was he? But alas...if Pat wasn't putting the final nail on the coffin, then the wave of realizations that follow the kiss tells Pran that he needs to be the one to do it.

It's never gonna work out ever. This is the most they could ever have. And knowing that Pat returned his feelings doesn't make it any easier.

Because what the hell was he doing? Letting himself go like this!? Setting himself up for getting hurt again? Pat may have kissed him, but he liked Ink too didnt he? And even if he didn't any longer, their families hated each other. And the last time they knew they got close, Pran had to go through hell and back.

How could he do this to himself again? No.

It is over. It has to be over. He can't keep getting hurt again.

And he pulls back.

By miles. He is done letting his guard down and getting hurt and causing hurt. This is best in the long run. He should just stay away from Pat. No matter how much it hurt. It was never gonna work out anyways.

But then Pat comes back. Pran pushes him away. He has to give up at some point. He has to. Why would he keep coming back? But Pat keeps surprising Pran. He keeps coming back and butting in and being a pain in the ass and Pran is at his wit's end because he just doesn't know how much more he can withstand. He could see how much effort Pat was putting just to have a conversation with him. And eventhough he was staying away to protect himself he also thought he was doing it for Pat's sake too. That it was better for everybody in the long run. But Pat's steadfast efforts finally get to him.

He was still the one person in the world he could truly be open in front of. His defenses were somehow at his weakest. And sitting there on that beach dreaming of a reality where their parents don't have a life consuming feud going on Pran actually lets himself open up once again. After that it was just a matter of time before Pran was lured into the who falls in love first challenge bet. Bringing their love for competing with eo into this was the only way Pran could be eased into this.

Pat knows him so well. They've come so far. What the hell, he could win this challenge couldn't he? Pat followed him all the way to their hostile architecture trip didn't he? He would cave in.

Pat keeps surprising him though he keeps finding new ways to flirt and stump him, and Pran never to be beaten has a few tricks up his sleeve too.

Neither end up winning and things stay in that will they won't they when will they limbo and there was all chance of it continuing indefinitely and then Pat surprises him again.

He doesn't take Pran's easy out. Pran had basically offered to confess and end this bet. Pat was being handed an easy win. But he declines it. And then he surprises him even more by walking into the loss, showing up to play Kwan in a drama he didn't even need to act in, in a play he signed up for just to flirt with Pran and now the play he is offering to do, entirely and completely for Pran. At this point Pat really had the upper hand in the bet. And he still willingly volunteers to lose. He puts himself out there, knowing he will lose. Because on the other end of it Pat saw a relationship with Pran. Why prolong it any longer? And how could Pran not melt at that. Bet be damned.

And that's why he cooks curry for Pat and when Pat tries to eat it himself, Pran stops him, looks at him meaningfully and then feeds it to him, as if signalling to Pat that if you lost for me, i'm losing for you too.

And so they start dating. And Pran now has to get used to this feeling of his defenses being down. His vulnerabilities exposed and his heart basically out there to be hurt. It was absolutely terrifying. And he wouldn't have had the courage to go for it if Pat hadn't done what he did. Showing him that he valued Pran and his feelings over his own ego. Pat's consistency and sacrifice proved beyond a shadow of doubt as somebody Pran could actually trust himself with. Over and above his overwhelming love for Pat, I believe it is that trust that helped him take that step.

And Pat keeps showing him every step of the way that the trust was given in safe hands. After every fight, every disagreement, they stop and they talk and they communicate. Pran asks for time. Pat gives it. Pran asks him to keep it under wraps. He's okay with it. Pran compromises on a lot of things himself. He steps out of his comfort zone, willingly does things he wouldn't have dreamt of otherwise just to make Pat happier.

Because he realizes that if the relationship has to work, they both need to put equal effort. By being with Pat, Pran while being in a safe space gets to open up his heart in ways he would have been afraid to otherwise.

It is implied that Pran is the one who cooks for both of them, he leaves cute notes to make Pat smile when he's upset, he does random thoughtful things like putting the paste on the toothbrush for a waking Pat, he hurries home immediately to comfort an upset Pat, and even if it made his friend mad he still showed up to practice sessions and games because he wanted to support Pat and be there for him.

When Wai outs them it is the tremendous trust that he has in Pat and their relationship that helps Pran go over to assuage Pat and helps them get through it together. Every step of the way every block in the path they handle it together. His trust in Pat, his belief in their love growing more and more.

And that's why when Pran sees that Pat is quite serious about staying on at the beach, despite his reservations and fears and wanting to be there for his mother too he still goes all in. Of course he does. Of course he goes all in for the boy he has loved ever since he knew what love was. The one person who kept showing up over and over. The only one who he had complete and utter trust in, to be there for him.

Because finally, finally Pran could see what he couldn't even dream of when he was young and a life he didn't dare let himself think about in their few months of relationship. A life with Pat, the kindest warmest love-shaped boy he knew, no matter how silly he could get, he would always want to be there for him, with him and he no longer felt like he had to clutch onto his defenses like they were the only thing he really had, because no? He had Pat didn't he?

The only person who knew what it was like being in Pran's shoes, and who loved him nonetheless and maybe even all the more because of it, the way Pran did with him, because he knew Pat would never hurt him knowingly.

He could do this.

He could do this with him.

His belief in their love, his trust in their relationship, the commitment that Pat expressed to him in that conversation, ensured that no matter what challenges came up later in their fake break up era, things would still be okay. It's because of that faith that Pran knew that he could afford to go to Singapore for a couple of years and they would remain strong though it all because of that assurance and confidence he felt in himself, in Pat and this relationship that they had nurtured and cherished.

We see him grow up from a boy who was scared of feeling things to a boy who was brave enough to overcome that fear to let himself be open to hurt to crying in the arms of Pat, letting himself be his most vulnerable to braving hurt to fighting for what he loves and doing what he feels is right.

We see his growth from when he went from being afraid to express his feelings to expressing that in actions and then in words and asking Pat to do the public confession and writing a song for him and asking him how good he was in bed and demanding Pat call him sweetly.

Unafraid of his wants or desires and no longer averse to expressing them. We see him growing beyond childish hijinks to buying a gift for the man who had once hurt his mother, because two things can be true at once ( Ming was an asshole, but he was still Pat's father). He was building a life with Pat, and a meticulous planner like Pran was obviously not going to leave his relationship with his future father in law to chance.

And that's my take on how Pran went from "You still owe me" to "Every time i'm near you, nothing good happens" to "Can you please stay away from me?" to "You know that fact (that you aren't my friend) now leave" to "Someone like you what's to like?" to "You've got to stop doing this to me Pat" to "Why start when you know how it's gonna end" to "It's the kind of relationship i always avoid" to "I care about you more" to "if you want my hand be brave" to "If i do that (thinking of it as a song for Pat) then how can i ever really quit" to "Being with you already feels like freedom" to "We like each other. Why does it bother anyone?" to "I can be anywhere as long as i have you" to "I wrote this song for him." to "Give it to him for me" to "If not you i won't allow anyone else to use it" to "Call me nicely" unafraid of expressing his feelings and desires, heart more open and loving than the one he started off with.

To conclude and in short throughout the show the growth we see in Pran is perfectly illustrated in his password change from the Pran (who was uber protective of his own self and was emotionally repressed and closed off trying to appear cool and unaffected) of Pran So Cool to the unabashedly in love Pran (having made rapid progress in expressing his feelings and braving fears) of Pran in Love, and it's Pat's love and kindness that helped him along the way.

The world didn't change him. Pat's love did.

#bad buddy #pran x pat #pran parakul #bad buddy meta #patpran #bad buddy brain rot #bad buddy the series #i may have projected a bit #okay a lot #but im also probably right

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spicybylerpolls · 1 month

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Well, unknown hero agent man / pen symbolism anon, i hope you're reading this, cos you hit the nail on the head! this kind of symbolic storytelling is not only a fine art of cinema (being lost these days a little sadly, what with the whole netflix speedy turnover etc), but exactly what (good) films of the horror genre aim to do.

horror has long been a way to creatively tell 'normal' dramatic stories through subtext and symbolism. not sure if this is still a way around traditional censorship but im sure it began that way. films like the exorcist, the shining, rosemary's baby... all classics that are filled with subtext. its also an exciting way to talk about things that might seem trite or too bleak when portrayed as a 'straight' drama (this is the term meaning 'non-genre based' or 'non-musical' lmao). So you could say that ST is NOT straight, in more ways than one 😉

but much of this will go over casual viewers heads, so its finding the balance between making a story believable on the surface (another dimension exists! scary government men trying to kill us!) and subtextually (the UD as a metaphor for trauma/AIDS/closeted homosexuality/abuse etc) if viewers are clever enough to see/feel it. i say feel because much of storyviewing is instinctive instead of analytical.

so ST incorporates both - not just metaphorical, vague storytelling, but also real issues too. but it goes one step further, and actually has characters talk explicitly about reading deeper into stuff (murray's behind the curtain speech). it's a very meta show, even for a genre piece, which is why it astounds me that some people think it's not that deep lol. and some people think that only literature can be deep, but never tv or movies - which is an insult to anyone who has ever been passionate about cinema tbh. It's a statement that would probably rip the heart out of the duffers' chests and stomp on it. these guys are super nerds who have dedicated their adult lives to this passion project. as finn said, 'most people make it then just cash in - im so glad they still care'.

I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable talking about the beauty of this storytelling on your main. it really does surprise me that the fandom is so censorship obsessed because sexual metaphors have long existed in visual media, and especially in horror films. there used to be a long post about byler and a potential sex scene at lover's lake on here, but the user disappeared and the post went missing. it was about all the sexual imagery in ST, with a focus on byler in s4. i especially loved how they mentioned mike's introduction, where he was just in underwear: it is both appropriate for the setting, but also gets the audience used to him as a growing lad with a body and draws attention to those uncomfortable, potentially sexual aspects of being a teen. i mean, he was in tiny pants for god's sake. did we need to see that? why did we see it? etc etc

hilariously, they also referenced the always sunny in philadelphia scene where a character is in a therapist office talking about a pen being a dick. he then puts it in his mouth and chews the pen lmoao

i think you'd enjoy @therainscene's rod symbolism post too. I'm personally hoping for some explicit sex scenes with byler, because the show so far has arguably been telling that story metaphorically already for 4 seasons, and bringing it out of the subtext could be a storytelling device in itself. bringing byler's secrets into the light. after all, this is a period piece that aims to shed light on a bygone era. its not a propaganda piece that needs to remain coded; the reasons for staying secretive still exist for mike and will in the 80s, but times have changed since then for us as a global audience, and more importantly, the aspirational message has changed. what message would the duffs want to send to viewers that are still bigoted? clearly one of the beauty of homosexuality, seeing as will, our fav gay boy, has been the darling sympathetic victim of the show since s1e1. the show needs to remain true to both the 80s while also having a strong message for this decade in order for modern audiences to be able to gain something from watching this story; in order for there to be a reason the show exists at all.

so to answer your question, i had never picked up on the pen symbolism until now, but i immediately agree, not least because 1) it must have a meaning that connects to byler's conversation otherwise why does it just interrupt them with no reason? (from a storytelling pov), and 2) because of the always sunny scene lolllll

thanks for the discourse! if you stick around into s5, im sure we will be able to start discussing this on our mains. it'll be a new era and there might even be gifs/pics of byler to accompany our 'spicy' discourse haha!

Amazing/fascinating points! Thanks for adding to the discussion!

#byler #spicy byler #will byers #mike wheeler #no poll

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yanderes-galore · 1 year

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im so glad to see your request are open i love your works!! Cay i request yandere Jerome Mcelroy ( simply the Chef lol ) with reader please? there are barely anything about him!

Yeah, I get it. I think it's because when people write South Park fanfics it usually revolves around The Boys and Chef has a controversy (but it's South Park, when does someone not?) I'll see what I have for Chef ^^ In the concept I'm going to refer to him as Chef, just letting you know.

Yandere! Jerome McElroy ("Chef") Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Mentions of intimacy, Trust issues, Persistent behavior, Dubious relationship, Fear of cheating, Toxic behavior, Manipulation.

Chef is a character that's often talked to for advice by The Boys.

He's also more of a romantic type.

Or at least... skilled in the intimate side of romance.

While Chef is a character that would most likely be a romantic yandere... he has potential to be a platonic yandere.

As a platonic yandere he'd act somewhat of a parental figure.

As a romantic yandere he'd be flirtatious yet respectful of his darling's boundaries.

This concept will revolve around his romantic yandere tendencies.

As much as Chef wants to be intimate with his darling he is willing to wait for it.

Chef is passionate about cooking and singing, traits he'd use to win his darling over when he falls for you.

He's also level-headed, for Chef that means he hesitates with kidnapping and murder as he knows it just isn't the right thing to do.

He's more toxic in the way of he makes you feel bad for wanting to leave him.

Even if it holds the potential to have you to himself.

Chef has been shown to not be commited so him finding a darling and wanting to stay with them is a strange feeling for him.

His past intimate relationships might actually turn you off to him which makes having his darling harder.

Chef tries to be a good guy to his darling.

Yanderes tend to be dedicated to their darlings but with Chef's past that's hard.

You're hesitant to accept his advances as doing so may have the risk of him cheating on you.

To avoid heartbreak you most likely turn him down all the time.

While Chef is patient, he gets upset at the idea of his darling not trusting him.

As a result... Chef may try to stave off the intimacy in his life.

It sounds impossible for him... but yanderes are willing to do just about anything they can for their darling.

Chef isn't sure why he likes you so much.

However... he can't deny the feelings he does hold for you.

Even when you see him try to be more dedicated you still may not be with him.

Chef then tries harder, singing love songs for you and cooking your favorite dishes.

It's sweet behavior but you still stand your ground.

"Chef... I can't be with you like this. You'll break my heart."

Chef probably calls you affectionate names like "sugar" or "sweetheart". It feels in character for him.

He calls you all sorts of sweet names yet he can't seem to sweeten you up.

At this point all he wants is one date.

Just one... so he can see how it'll work out.

Chef would try not to get angry with you or lose his temper.

He understands where your worry comes from...

He just wishes you'd trust him.

Chef doesn't really show jealousy but he would be passive-aggressive towards any date you tell him about.

Chef believes he can treat you well.

If you'd just let him.

Chef isn't too violent but he'd verbally fight with someone.

Chef may also be a persistent yandere.

He's caring and patient... although he doesn't stop looking for that date.

There's a point where you may just break and accept the date.

Which is a mistake as now it lets Chef into your life.

He's not too manipulative or possessive... but it's still there.

Chef is touchy and overly affectionate with his darling.

He's always been one for intimacy... so if you aren't someone who enjoys it then he may not be the partner for you.

Chef isn't too controlling yet he does make you second guess yourself and your decisions at times.

Chef promises and promises he'd never cheat on you.

He's a changed man!

Even if he isn't thinking of marriage or children (if you can have them)...

He knows he can't wait for you to meet his parents once he finally has you.

#yandere south park #yandere chef #yandere jerome mcelroy

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anx1oustig3r · 9 days

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talking about writing woes under the cut, it’s like i’m not intending to whine but i understand the way i talk about things comes off more weird than i mean to so just, it’s under the cut anyway, i think it’s fair to want to get some thoughts out on my own blog

i sat down to try and get back to work on my fanfic and, ouch, OUCH. every time i stare at the document i just get this wave of defeat. a voice in my head over and over saying “this is stupid. this is pointless and cringe. this is way too over the top for a dota fanfic. why don’t you just turn it into an original thing because you butchered the source material so much you fucking loser your writing is also just trash garbage anyway.” and it’s like holy fuck i’ve barely even written a sentence, calm down.

it sucks bc i am so god damn passionate about this fic, i believe in sunbreeze with every fibre of my being. i genuinely want nothing more to just write a cool story about this part of a thing i really like that i see a lot of interesting potential in. and i do not want to come across as pretentious in saying any of this, but i want to also be able to show like, hey, you can do fun and cool stuff with this thing that has no lore, it’s possible!

but it’s not fun to sot there second guessing yourself repeatedly for hours on end because you can’t tell if this thing you’ve written is actually good or is it complete first grade tripe that has everyone who reads it laughing at you behind your back (okay im well aware that’s mostly paranoia but like, yknow). i want writing to be fun again, i wanna feel excited to make this thing but i feel dread. i thought working on a second draft would make me feel better, because i would be fixing things i hated in whats currently there, but im just locked in the same feelings i had when i slowed down on the first version, and that is i just i feel like this is all a clown show and the equivalent of people awkwardly passing by a busker on an empty street.

now i know the solutions are either take a break or turn it into an original thing but

a) ive already been taking a break and using my free time there to learn new skills, the result is i can 3D model but im also going fucking insane

b) no.

at the core, i’m just frustrated and would love to not listen to those bad feelings, but it’s been months now with minimal progress and tbh i am exhausted. part of me wants to hang up the story completely but that would also be admitting to full failure and proof that i cant finish anything bc my brain is broken, so that’s not cool.

i feel like i had a more productive ramble, but promptly forgot it as i was writing it, oh well.

#this is such a first world problems post lmao #im also extremely aware i sound like an egomaniac #trust me ive been ruminating on whether or not these feeling are valid for weeks now #but idk man #kinda hard to not feel sad when you just wanna work on something you love without feeling like shit

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kitreadsbirdmen · 2 years

Text

The “Lost” Traitor Arc in Birdmen

Hi y'all. Forgive me I'm gonna be a little rusty at this but @fronchtost is single-handedly relapsing my birdmen brainrot. We'll see for how long.

So I had this theory really early on during Birdmen's run. One I kept a little quieter about because I didn't feel I had enough but you know how my theories go! @lackadaisical-pottymouth remembers me talking about Gabriel getting pregnant before the great Fallout killed the American flock. I have actual proof that I predicted Arthur C Phoenix's dead mind getting downloaded into Takayama's consciousness because I was obsessed with working out the full extent of the Seraph mental capabilities. I get birdmen! I'm proud of that.

So here's the gist....

I think Rei Sagisawa was being set up as a sort of 'Traitor' for/to the flock.

Now, this feeling had a lot of flexibility in it and I'll dig into those ideas a bit but we can safely just assume that I firmly believe this plan was jossed very early on when the plot had to accelerate toward endgame. It's worth noting that I believe that Tanabe was pretty sure she had to move things right around... late 30's early 40's. It's the part where I could sense that she had to leave behind some ideas. Mainly Birdmen in the public eye themes, Tatsume, the group dynamic without Takayama etc. So while the Bird Club members are very well established by this time, they're put on the back seat narratively after Umino's awakening to better serve the Takayama-Eishi drama which is the lifeblood of the manga.

This is all to say that we got some potential left on the table here, especially for the Bird President, and 2nd in command Rei Sagisawa.

THE BOY

I'm a little biased, Sagisawa is the most like myself as a passionate artist with a flare for exuberance, but a gentle maybe even sensitive nature. He's used liberally in the early manga to help highlight Eishi's immature gut instincts towards privilege and to test his ability to connect with others. Takayama's hard to connect to but everyone struggles with that-- our boy can't even like the most likable guy!

That said, things take a shift with Sagisawa when he Awakens. It's one of the most surprising abilities because its... seemingly useless. I mean, he gets it right when the group is having to parse out Fox as an ally so it's convenient to the moment, but on the grander narrative, it's only used in passing. So let's talk about his Ability because it's the main crux behind this idea that he could have gone rogue in some way:

Trickster-> Antihuman Ability

Trickster makes Sagisawa a living lie detector, namely for the humans around the group. But as the name would suggest, it also poses Sagisawa as a very capable liar as well. Since the abilities are born from strong external stimuli, a strong need, and a predetermined disposition, let's dig into that.

Rei Awakens in chapter 23 very soon after Eishi, in fact, he does so moments after Eishi experiments with a Bellwether Tweet, providing a sort of physical stimuli. The need of the group at the moment is influenced by Rei's paranoia around their school teacher who set his red flags off at the beginning of the chapter. The group is on high alert after a very unsavory encounter with Eden and while Rei makes no strong motion about it, you can tell it weighs heavy on the group. Knowing who to trust is important. Finally, Rei is very emotionally intelligent, sensitive, and observant. He has a strong disposition toward reading others-- a skill that no one else in the group possesses. You might argue such a skill is born from his trauma, both from his the abuse of his brother's depressive spiral and/or the speculative neglect of his distant parents. BUT IM GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF

If anything, Rei also showed early on a very fun habit! He's a little social chameleon! He's bubbly with Umino, he's dimwitted with Kamoda, and he's calculating with Eishi! He adapts to the person he's with. I even noted that he had a perchance for this... disingenuous personality shifting as a result of his survivor's guilt with Rui-- basically embodying the popular and artistic persona of his brother to discover why he died. This doesn't mean Rei is naturally a deceptive person, it just means that he has a skillset. An incredibly useful, dangerous, and criminally underused one.

Now, while Trickster is a sensory augmentation ability, mainly used in group navigation, the proficient lying aspect means that he's better for espionage. He's the perfect spy, further capable of grounding the slowly crumbling sense of humanity that the Birdmen are holding onto. This alone tells me, that there could have easily been some kind of plot to push Rei into Eden hands-- or some subsidiary-- so that he can collect human intel for the group. It would use his abilities the most...

Ultimately, this makes Rei a traitor... against Eden. If the narrative wanted to play this well, it would be a very shifty plan with an unreliable narrator making it seem like Rei's betraying the Birdclub. But no! It could be a double agent kind of thing! We don't have any confirmation that his lie detecting and acting skills are effective against his fellow Seraphs. Honestly, we can't make this assumption at all because of the nature of their mental bond. But if we are to believe that the first abilities define the Awakened Seraph in a substantial and unique way, the group could well benefit from the ability to lie within the leadership. Actually, you might argue that Rei and Eishi's power combination helped mask from the others any lingering doubt Eishi might have had when using his ability to compel. It's subtle but if it works on other seraphim then it could be feasible for Rei to genuinely betray his Birdclub....

NOT THAT HE'D WANT TO OF COURSE....

Or? Couple of reaching things.

#1: Rei's family is rich and powerful and international. While not every rich and powerful person has to be a bad guy, there are grounds within the Birdmen universe that the rich and powerful often have first dibs on Eden's scientific market. It's an easy write-in for Rei's father to have had some contact with the country, big or small. Maybe they asked to have Rei for the Seraph project long before?

#2: The fact that his mother is foreign just offers some fluff to that idea, obviously, you can meet people from around the world in business, but Eden is defined by its global reach. Foreign and currently abroad mom makes prime Eden conspiracy.

#3: I always found Sagisawa's initial response to his transformation to be WEIRD guys. Like... red flag weird. Namely, because he's probably the most chill in the presence of the group but you can tell he flipped out when he transformed. His room is in shreds. And he stares at the Nike statue-- the same statue that holds a lot of meaning to Eden and Eva as the group houses a replica as some sort of inspiration. Now I've gone into the symbolism of the artwork and its relationship to the wings and freedom, but Rei looks at it with resentment... maybe... knowing resentment? If the Nike statue is an idol of victorious pursuits and its broken nature signifies the collapse of those ideas, then you might be able to make a one-to-one connection with Eden's scientific pursuits entirely. Rei knowing that these wings were a product from Eden? because dad? Don't argue this, I don't actually believe this, but there is some nuanced readings of these panels too.

Finally->

Yeah I just thought Tanabe might have wanted to play with this potential in Sagisawa a little bit. I know I'm biased but he seemed like a narrative favorite, especially as Eishi's equal and intellectual challenge. I am not assuming this was... ever in the cards and its a moot point to argue because it never really was... but it's fun to imagine the scenario. I know that a lot of my 'post canon' or 'complicated geopolitical setting alternate universe' content wants to utilize this for DRAMA. It's not like I think he'd be willing malicious, hell, I doubt he'd be a legit traitor (bait and switch) I just think they would play with the natural distrust his character could project.

Okay I'm rambling. It's been so long since I wrote a birdmen meta I'm literally living in the past. Birdmen Forever guys.

~Over and Out

#birdmen #birdmen meta #omg guys its been so long this is ridiculous #brainrot forever

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redysetdare · 1 year

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I've realized I will say i like a thing but overall i genuinely only like specific parts.

Like Tangled the series, i say i like that show but looking back on it i really only ever enjoyed season 1 and episodes including varian because he was like... the best written character on that show. Otherwise i absolutely hated s2 and s3 jumps between bad and being on thin ice.

Then there's the Owl House which i cant even go into the fandom tag for like I refuse to interact with fandom, i tell people to skip like the entire first chunk of s1 because that was boring as shit - those first episodes were actually like the worst way to get introduced to this series, and then I'm generally good from that point on.

then we come to Ninjago which i only like because nostalgia and the supposed Potential i think it had, otherwise i think the plot of the show is stupid and the characters are all just kind of annoying and don't really have good chemistry as a group together (i think the movie did better at making them more likeable there i said it)

Now we have Monkie kid which i only recommend the first two seasons of and despise s3 and have no excitement for s4 and yet I still say is one of my fav shows and i love so deeply.

Then i say im a fan of pokemon but i actually hate battling which is the core of the main series of games so it's like How do i even enjoy the games in that case???

And warrior cats I adore, also likely because of nostalgia, but ever since i've gotten older I've realized how bad specific things in the series is and I definitely wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

And like... part of me wonders if i actually can call myself a fan of any of these things when i have such strong feelings about all the things they did wrong/i didn't like and like... the other part of me is like I wouldn't be so upset and passionate if these things didn't have some sort of meaning to me. I do like these things... i did like these things... it hurts to have things you like disappoint you.

and what is one supposed to do? just drop all the things that you like because the end product disappointed you? or take the parts you liked and make your own joy out of those?

I enjoy the first two seasons of Monkie kid, so that is what i choose to focus on.

I enjoy Pokemon mystery dungeon and collect the cards and plushies, so i like pokemon.

I take the nostalgia i have for series like Ninjago and Warrior cats and make my own stories out of them. I can take what i like and go from there.

I watch the episodes of Tangled and the Owl house that I like. I don't have to watch the ones I don't. I like these shows for when they get good.

I like to think i can still be a fan of these things, just in my own little weird way. I'm trying to get better at not letting the negatives ruin them for me. It's ok to criticize but i don't want it to be the reason something becomes ruined for me.

I don't want to lose more interests.

#text #hoping this doesn't show up in the tags haha #personal #I'm learning how to enjoy things again #ADHD brain gets me real overly attached to things so when they dont go a certain way it can really fuck up my perception of it #I'm trying to get better at that not happening

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 1 year

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as a 16 y/o i had a crisis of faith having been raised catholic and going to catholic schools but starting to realize that there was something wrong with me that made me different from everyone else. laying in bed unable to sleep one night i begged god to show me an angel so that i could believe, and suddenly i felt myself yanked upwards, out of my body. i couldn't see anything, but i felt a certain intensity- maybe it was just fear. i felt my physical body and my "astral" body as separate entities. i heard someone screaming from behind me, i dont know if it was my physical body trying to pull me back in, or a part of the vision trying to tell me what my job on earth was. when i came back, i was flipped 180 degrees in bed from where i remember laying. for some reason, i couldnt stop myself asking "can i see a demon too?" which was only responded to with silence, and the immediate surge of doubt into that negative space... not sure if demons work as sneakily as that, or if i realized my own doubt in that moment, even with how vivid it was. this was the final straw in me being able to be faithful in christian god at all. i realized that even the sisters who were teaching me would tell me that i'm crazy if i tried to explain the experience.

im so desperate for something like that to happen again. recieving such a powerful reality shattering experience but going on living after that having little more than my own hunches and intrigues to follow feels scary :<

thanku for sharing this w me anon, im sorry you couldn''t go to the sisters about it, makes me sad when organized religion leads to distrust & judgement like isnt this the opposite of what it's sposed to be all about ? this experience sounds like you were able to astral project to some degree, however, because u were just a teen and inexperienced maybe something tried to psychically attack u? from what i read there are many demons and entities in the astral plane so its dangerous to go there. not that it sounds like you were trying to do that on purpose. i mean, even being able to do that at all, but especially kinda by accident, thats rly powerful. you seem to be an inquisitive person thinking deeply about these matters & wanting answers. psychic ability is like a muscle, we all have this muscle, & the more you use it, the stronger it gets. the more u notice the timing of things, study different theories, question the meaning, insert the search for the unknown into ur consciousness, the psychic muscle is being trained. look to all the small tiny mundane synchronizations that add up, they'll lead u to the bigger stuff. books im reading explain earth as a soul testing ground. so its kinda like, if u ace a bunch of the little assignments (noticing small phenomena), u get rewarded by moving up to the next level of psychic awareness. for me, thats the reason to live..it fills me w passion unlike anything else, i want to break open the worlds shell AAAHH!! listen, anon.... those hunches and intrigues... you must pay attention to them, dont be afraid, u have great potential. dont be afraid!!!!! the hunches will guide you to your next awakening. and u will be stronger for it this time. peace & love anon i hope u have a good night #<3.

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donald4spiderman · 3 years

Text

HOTCH FIC/BLURB BASED OFF OF THIS ASK

I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY IM SO SORRY.

TW: sub!hotch (😫), boss/employee, penetrative sex, unprotected sex & creampie, kissing, degradation, (GN!AFAB Reader)

for @hotch-and-bunny & @reidstoychest

Maybe it’s the way his blazer is a little too large for his shoulders. Maybe it’s the way he refuses to gel his raven hair, constantly brushing it away from his face. Maybe it’s the way he’s so eager to learn, the way he’s such a good listener.

Aaron’s younger than you— give or take five or six years your junior— and you’re his superior, his unit chief. I mean, there’s no way Gideon would ever consider making a pass at any of the female agents working below him. There’s a standard for professionalism in the BAU, which includes not sleeping with your employees.

But Aaron makes it so hard, with his timid knocks on the door and jittery hands. You wonder if he was different during his prosecuting days— maybe he was just out of his element at the bureau. But he’s a damn good profiler and an even better man. So, you ease up on the hungry gazes and treat him like every other agent.

Or at least, you try.

It’s past midnight, and you hear the faint of the vacuum come to a halt as the custodians finish up their shift. You’re at work later than the night shift custodians. Shouldn’t you be heading home?

You pack up your briefcase full of your case files, only stopping when you hear a soft knock on your door. You know that knock— the three-beat rhythm, each one slightly my confident than the next, but not quite assertive.

“Come in, Aaron.” You shout so he can hear you from the outside.

He greets you with a small smile, holding a manila folder out to you wordlessly, his teeth occupied with biting his bottom lip.

“Is this the Troy Perry case file?” You question.

“Y-yes.”

“Is it complete?”

Aaron shrugs, “Sort of. I mean... I think so?”

You sigh, running a finger over your brow bone. “It’s a simple question, Aaron. Yes or no. Is it complete? Or is there still work needed to be done?”

You’re too hard on him. Aaron’s sweet, the sweetest man you’ve ever known. But he has the potential to be the leader that the bureau needs— strong-willed, deeply moral, and most importantly passionate. You just need to crack that unsure exterior.

“I-I finished all the sections!” He exclaims out of nervousness. “I just wanted to see if you thought they were good enough.”

His brows knit together as you study his expressions, most likely feeling weighed down by your stare.

“I trust you.” You state, placing the file in your desk drawer. “I don’t need to look over it.”

“A-are you sure?” Aaron asks. “What if there’s a mistake. S-Shouldn’t you check for those kinds of things?”

You press your hand down firmly on your wooden desk, “Are you telling me how to do my job?”

His jaw falls open, and his hands rush out to aid his apology, “No! No! I didn’t mean it like that, Ma’am.”

You can’t help the way your thighs rub together, unmistakably aroused. “Don’t question me, or yourself, okay? What we do is important, and you have to be sure of yourself when you make decisions.”

“Yes, Ma’am. Thank you for everything.” That boy is going to be the death of you.

You shrug, “Don’t mention it.”

He smiles, big and bright, with all his teeth showing and his eyes creasing. You smile back, albeit less wide. You catch the way his eyes flick down to your plump lips, and he clears his throat nervously.

“I-I think— I’m gonna head h-home.”

You nod, all but prepared to let him walk away. You know what you’re about to do could ruin any semblance of the false formality to two of you hold with each other. You know Aaron wants you; it’s easy to see. You are a profiler, after all.

“Alright.” You say, letting him walk halfway out the door before calling him back in. “Aaron?”

his head jolts up, “Yes?”

You take three large strides until you’re face to face with him, pulling him to the side of the doorway, letting the door close shut before slamming your lips against his.

He’s rooted in place, eyes wide open as he takes in exactly what’s going on. You break away from the kiss, and truth be told, you’re just as nervous as he is.

“We don’t have to do anything, Aaron. I’m not going to punish you if you don’t want to sleep with me. That is... unless you want me to?”

Aaron’s neck flushes a warm rose, and despite his uneasy voice, you feel the bulge in his slacks pressing against the front of your thigh.

“T-this is, uh, we shouldn’t— right?” His breath fans your face.

“Tell me you don’t want this.” You deadpan. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you haven’t dreamt of fucking me, then I’ll let you go. I'll pretend this never happened, and you can go back to calling me Ma’am and keeping me six feet away.”

“I can’t.” Aaron sighs. “I can’t lie to your face and tell you I don’t want this.”

“I fucking knew it.” You laugh, rubbing your hands down his shoulders. “You want me.”

It wasn’t a question, but he answers anyway. “Yes, Ma’am. I want you so much.”

“Ma’am?” You grin. “You like calling me Ma’am?”

He nods, and you smile, bringing his lips against yours. This time, Aaron is more responsive, closing his eyes and letting his lips roam, hands resting on your waist.

“I want you, Aaron. Right here. Right now.” You growl, working to undo the knot in his tie.

“W-what? I-I don’t know what you mean...”

“You’re going to fuck me against my desk as hard as you can, Aaron. I need you inside of me. Now.”

You can see the gears turning in his mind, unable to process what you’ve said fully.

“Do you understand, Aaron?” You purr, opening up his shirt and raking your nails down his stomach.

“Uh huh.” He finally nods. “I-I understand.”

“Good.” Your smile is teasing in a sickly sweet manner. “For a second there, I thought you were too dumb to follow orders.”

He follows closely behind you as you perch yourself onto the wooden surface of your desk. You slide both your trousers and your underwear down, exposing just how much you need him.

“Come here and fuck me already.” You demand as he works his belt buckle open, slowed down by the tremor of his hands.

Once he finally frees his cock from his pants, you know there’s no turning back, no way you could look at him without wanting to fuck him. His cock is flushed and hard, precum leaking out of the tip.

Aaron strokes himself firmly twice before lining up his cock with your entrance. Before he can push himself in, you pull his lips down for a tender kiss, releasing his face so you can watch the way he sheaths into you.

You’re instantly breathless; the warm feeling in your lower stomach combined with Aaron’s blissed-out face makes you clench with excitement.

“Fuck me.” You exclaim, pulling his thighs closer to yours. “Fuck me as hard as you can. Prove to me your not fucking worthless.”

Aaron lets out a strangled groan before slamming his hips forward, burying himself as deep as possible into you before pulling out, repeating his motions.

“F-Fuck.” You cry, gripping his shoulders tightly. “I knew you’d be good at this. Such a good boy.”

His head comes down to nip at the flesh on your collarbones. There’s no doubt that you’ll be marked up tomorrow, but you don’t mind one bit.

Aaron continues pounding into you, the sound of your skin filling the entire office. His hips roll expertly into yours as he snakes his hand between your bodies to rub your clit.

“I’m so close, Ma’am.” He whines, resting his forehead breathlessly against yours. “Can I p-please cum? Please?”

You shake your head, “Hold out a little bit longer, baby— I’m so fucking close.”

His fingers circle your clit faster, and he seems to appreciate the way you moan louder. He feels the quicker in your thighs and the hitch in your breath. Soon enough, your legs are shaking, and your back is arching off the desk.

“Fuck, Aaron!” You shout, tossing your head back in a silent scream.

Aaron takes your scream as his cue, groaning as he cums inside of your pussy, thick ropes filling you up perfectly. He slams his hips once more into you, wincing at the overstimulation, before pulling out altogether.

He places a wordless kiss on your forehead, an innocent gesture to close off your filthy activities.

“Thank you.” He whispers as you thread your fingers into his hair.

You hum in response, “My pleasure.”

#aaronhotchner #aaron hotchner #aaron hotcher blurb #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfic #hotch #unit chief #sub!hotch #hotch smut #aaron hotchner smut #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #dom!reader

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gale-gentlepenguin · 3 years

Text

ML Ficlet: Nothing changed

It was unnaturally cold for this time of year. That is what the crimson heroine thought to herself as she dashed across the rooftops in the city of love.

She landed on the roof that was their usual meet up point.

"Just in time My Lady." Chat noir purred. "Looks like you are keeping your promise about not missing our patrols."

Ladybug wished she could be in a happier mood. She was questioning whether she should even tell him about what she did.

"Ladybug? You in there?" Chat noir inquired. "I called you my Lady again and you didn't correct me?"

His question snapped Ladybug back to the present.

"Huh? Oh, right sorry." She apologized.

"A lot on your mind?"

"You could say that."

"Do you want to talk about it? Or is it guardian stuff?"

Ladybug decided she would tell him after patrol tonight, she didn't want the mood to be soured over this.

She takes his hand.

"We can talk later. But first, Paris needs protecting." She smiled sweetly. The cat felt a faint blush on his cheeks. But the feeling faded when he realized she had taken off.

"Oh! So thats how you want to play." Chat noir smiled.

The two teens patrolled the city from above. They made sure to protect several food stands... in case an akuma was Hangry. Making time to take photos. They even comforted a girl after a bad date, preventing an akuma in the making.

It had been awhile since Chat noir was able to enjoy a patrol with Ladybug like this. She wasn't so high strung trying to force herself to have fun or so quick to get out. It was like nothing had changed. Perhaps Ladybug had finally found a good balance, he hoped that was the case.

Though as soon as it started, the patrol was at an end. Chat noir wishing it could have went on forever.

"Well sadly while the night is young, we must part." Chat noir acted out like a thespian. Using over dramatic hand gestures to exemplify his 'Heartbreak.'

"Silly kitty." Ladybug let out a sigh and light giggle. Oh how it was music to his ears.

"Well good night bugaboo. I will dream of you." He teased.

Ladybug's expression went grim.

"Wait a second."

Chat noir stopped himself from leaping.

"Yes My... yes Ladybug?"

Chat noir could tell that the mood had shifted. He had gotten better at reading her emotions and it was clear she was going to say something serious. He put away the mental clown nose.

"I... I need to tell you something important." Ladybug spoke. Her words holding much more weight with each passing second.

"Look Ladybug... if this is too much you don't have to tell me. I know that..."

"No, I need to tell you this. Even if it hurts." Ladybug interrupted. Her voice shook in that moment.

The air blew much colder to the cat.

"Okay, what is it?"

Chat noir prepared for some sort of verbal punch. Whatever it was, he was sure he could take it.

"I told someone my identity."

He was wrong. It was like he had the air knocked out of him. That couldn't be right. There was no way she would.... right?

"I'm sorry Ladybug. I think I must of misheard what you said. Cause it sounded like you said you told someone your secret identity." He tried to make light of it. His body shaking as he forced a Cheshire grin.

"You didn't. I told someone who I am under the mask."

His heart felt like it was dropped off the roof of the building they were standing on.

"You mean someone forced you to tell them? Cause we can track them down and fix it."

"I told someone, of my own free will, who I am. I know that comes as a shock. You are right to feel mad."

The cat hero looked at her, his expression became unreadable.

"Mad? You think I would be mad about this?" His voice trying to so hard to maintain calm when every part of his heart feels like he is being stabbed. "I am hurt, that you would think that."

"It wasn't something I did to hurt you. I just felt the pressure of everything... and I couldn't.... I couldn't bear it alone." Ladybug answered. She was not happy with this. She knew chat noir would feel hurt, but she never expected this.

Chat noir took a deep breath. He would ease himself. He needed to be rational. Ladybug was being honest with him. She could have just kept it from him. He needed to understand how hurt she must feel about all of this. Even if this felt like his heart was being dissected, he would not make Ladybug feel worse about this. He would try to be understanding.

"Okay... I understand. Fu had Marianne. Its okay that you would tell someone."

Ladybug eased a bit, the cat seemed to be coming around.

"It wasn't something I wanted to do. I know how much this must sting hearing this."

This felt so condescending to the black cat. And that was the last straw.

"No. Not at all. I mean sure I want nothing more in life then to know who my closest friend and crime fighting partner is. And sure, I completely hated the rule with a passion that could rival the desire shadow moth has for our miraculous. But I stuck to it because, hey, it was for the sake of Paris and it made sure we could stay safe from the crazy super villain. It made sense, and even though I wanted to tell one person who I love who I am, I couldn't risk it. Even though it ruined the relationships I had, I endured. I did it because, Ladybug was counting on me. I did it because even though it was killing me internally, Ladybug was bearing the same burden! It was us against the world! I could endure it with her! I guess that was a lie too!"

Chat noir took a breath.

"Chatton..."

"Im not done." He snapped. His smile had vanished, showing a nasty snarl.

Ladybug felt herself step back. The ferocity of that statement triggered a long suppressed fear. Something she wished she would never see again. The reason why she didn't want him to find out her identity. She saw the anger of Chat Blanc.

Chat noir noticed the fear on ladybug's face, and the tears forming in her eyes. He had gone too far. His anger replaced with horror at what he had done.

"Wait... Ladybug... That was too far."

"No... you're right to be mad. I broke your trust. I forced you to agree to things you hated and then I broke the rule I set. I just... I couldn't take it. So I know I am being selfish to expect you to take it in stride. You don't deserve this. I would understand if you hate me and want to quit..."

Chat noir hugged her. Catching the red heroine off guard.

"This isn't your fault. Yes I'm mad. I am also hurt and feel betrayed... but I don't hate you."

"You don't?"

"I couldn't hate you Ladybug. Its not like I've been the perfect partner. I've screwed up too. But you still want me around right?" Chat noir answered.

"I don't think I could be ladybug without you."

Chat noir felt his emotions ease.

"And I couldn't be Chat noir without you."

He releases the hug.

They stood in silence for a few minutes. Both taking calming breaths. They wanted to ensure they were both able to continue talking without a potential akuma risk.

"So, you told someone because you needed someone to talk to because being the guardian along with other stuff was too much for you to handle quietly. " Chat noir asked calmly.

"Yes, that is what happened."

"It was better you told someone then just suffered alone. I wanted to be your support... but I understand that its dangerous right now if I know who you are and vice versa." Chat noir continued.

"I know its hard to accept..."

"No no, lets not try and ease it. I will accept it over time. I just want you to know that its okay that you did that. I want you to know that despite how much it hurt, I am glad you told me now. Finding this out... that might have hurt so much worse. It would have felt like nothing changed from back then."

Ladybug knew he was referring to how master fu had kept her from tell him about things. How he was left in the dark? She hated that period of her life.

"When this is over, when Hawkmoth is done. I swear we can reveal our identities to each other. We can even go catch a movie."

Chat noir smiled a bit.

"I would like that."

In the end, Chat noir was still hurt by this, but he knew how to take a bit of pain. He would move past it, he and Ladybug would still be partners. He still love her dearly. Nothing changed.

#ml #gang of secrets #ml spoilers #ml ficlet #hurt and comfort #miraculous ladybug #ladynoir #ladybug #chat noir #chat blanc mention #ml angst #ml season 4

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marmaligne · 3 years

Note

Hello! May I get a Kimetsu no Yaiba Matchup 👉👈 My name is Millie and I think im an xnfj and a virgo yahyah! I have no preference for gender :O. A few facts about me is that I have severe idiopathic hypersomnia, which is a sleep disorder (similar to narcolepsy) where I am always sleepy and have sleep attacks unless I take the corresponding medication 😴. I'm also an entomologist, I keep caterpillars, snails, and soon frogs and i want to start beekeeping soon. Im pretty shyer with pda and when i first meet people since i have social anxiety, but i am more chill in solitary areas or if ive known someone for long! I love music and am a classical musician that plays violin!!!! Lastly, i am really appreciative of culture and traditional clothing and can speak Spanish, Japanese, and Norweigen (Im even looking at getting a Bunad!) Thank you so much for your time! (if a matchup spot is available great! if one's not no worries! ty anyways!)

✨ Sorry for the long wait, but thank you for the ask, also eyyy fellow bug lover, I used to keep green rose chafer beetles and snails myself ✨

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I Match You With: 🦋 SHINOBU KOCHŌ 🦋

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* Shinobu [胡蝶しのぶ] is a very “relaxed” person, and though she may seem apathetic and sarcastic at times [even though she might not mean to be] she cares a great deal for you! She has no interest in your personality type or otherwise, as long as your actual personality is kind and welcoming!

* She is an Aquarius whereas you are a Virgo! According to astrology, you are the least likely people to be seen together! AQ’s and VI’s don’t often get along with each other, or rather they aren’t supposed to since your signs are quite opposite of each other. Air vs. Earth; two sides of the same coin. Relations between the two aren’t really explored, but since it’s Shinobu, she’ll probably work things out anyways!

* Be warned: she tries her hardest to take after her sister! She likes to act and be dignified and graceful and compassionate even if she wants to scream and cry sometimes. She appreciates that your passion for your little bug pals also extends to her, and any effort you put into making her day just a little bit better does wonders.

* She takes interest in your entomology studies! As a master of poisons as she is, especially those that derive from insects, she has a vast knowledge and like of many venomous and non-venomous species! Her knowledge even extends to other branches of zoology, that deal with arachnids, myriapods, and crustaceans! She’d be happy to share her wisdom with you!

* Heck, her haori and kyahan are both tailored to a butterfly design and pattern, passed on through her family and by her sister. You can obviously tell what her favourite animal is, don’t ever tease her about it though!

* Understands that you can sometimes become tired unexpectedly, and fall asleep at random intervals. Don’t worry! She’ll always make sure you take the correct medications and dosages, she’ll even go on experimenting in hopes of finding a medication with more prolonged effects!

* Always makes sure to carry a pillow around wherever she goes with you. She keeps a supply of meds and other supplies in a woven bamboo basket similar to Tanjiro’s, though nobody normal dares to ask what’s inside, fearing it be a demon or a human body, maybe a weapons storage.

* Intimidation +1000. Guy tries to hit on you? Dead. Girl tries to hit on you? Dead. Any other person tries to hit on you? Also dead. Not actually, but they’ll wish they were. Shinobu’s cold stare and silent demeanour is far more terrifying than even Sanemi’s anger, and has made a grown man cry far more than once.

* She understands if you dislike public affection. To be honest, with her apart of the Demon Slaying Corps, she’s not sure she’d be up to even holding hands with you in public either. Don’t get her wrong, it’s not because she doesn’t love you, and definitely not because she doesn’t want to! She’s just so internally terrified of any demon or ill-meaning human thinking you a perfect target to make her break down.

* She has her fair share of enemies, demon or otherwise, she is highly unwilling to let you out onto the battlefield, or anywhere really, but understands that you require personal space and privacy, and knows that you being with her means that you also understand the potential consequences that being together can bring.

* She’ll still hold your hand in the privacy of her’s or your own homes though, don’t think she won’t.

* She’s also a big fan of culture and language, especially the more traditional aspects of it! Growing up as she had in 1900’s Japan had it’s perks after all! She’s lived through an era of development, and she’s seen the more western takes on things, even if she doesn’t participate in the cultural curve itself.

* She’s respectful and highly admiring of other cultures besides her own, and has heard stories through the grapevine of myths and legends and histories all over the world. She thinks it’s magnificent you can speak so many languages! And her own? My my, what an intelligent one you are! You have far more knowledge than even some of the smartest people she knows! And she’s surrounded by plenty!

* Come sit with her in her library, read and translate the texts of other areas with her, share in the wonders of the world, right in the comfort of home!

* Highly interested in your ability to play music, especially since it’s more towards the classical elements! She herself plays the traditional Japanese Hocchiku [法竹] or vertical bamboo flute once in a rainy day! She’ll play with you when she has the time, she promises!

* She’ll sometimes play or even sing for you whenever you get anxious. She’ll make sure to sooth any and all social or general anxieties you have, regardless of whether or not you think they’re insignificant or silly! Don’t worry, she’s got your back! [Literally though she’s right behind you-]

* If you ever tell her openly about your love of traditional clothing and accessories. 👀 She’s gotchu. Your closet is now full of everything from hakama to kimonos, depending on your preferences! Don’t hesitate to try anything on, she bought it for you after all. She expects you to put on a fashion show for her however, she can understand if her appreciation makes you a bit embarrassed!

* All in all, 15/10, very good partner, loves very much. And if at some point you just want to be friends? She doesn’t mind staying besties as long as you can still hang out!

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✨ Hope you enjoyed ✨

#matchup #kny #kny x reader #kny matchup #kimetsu no yaiba shinobu #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #shinobu kochō #shinobu x reader

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reynie-muldoons · 3 years

Text

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

for real this time lmfao

book and show spoilers below

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement.... yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really cared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY ACTUALLY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOPE NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to "the baaAAAYYYY"

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE IM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there- they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

17:52 leave it to Milligan to come up with an escape plan off of an island with no water vessel with four kids in tow

18:08 THEYRE SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭

18:08 lowkey I'm super surprised they didnt take this opportunity to have Milligan's arduous swim force his memories out and have the father daughter bonding time they deserve. I hope they give that moment ample time to flesh out.

18:13 BUCKET!!!

18:13 wait that shot is so artsy hold up lmfao

18:13 this looks like someone's photography final hahahaha

18:26 THE TENDER MUSIC STOPPPP 😭😭😭

18:41 Sticky is still on that jumping to conclusions bs he got from Curtain

18:44 WETHERALL'S WIDGET 😭

19:31 "Kate... she's in danger..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK

19:36 "and it's all because of me." Not just because of you but love to see you taking responsibility

19:52 once again I am asking WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE OPEN

20:26 "Kate. She has changed." "Not really. She's always been who she is." "Her clothes. She changed clothes." PFFFT HAHHAHA they really took a moment of self-reflection and made it so much better

20:55 AYYYYY KATE'S DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

21:35 yikes yikes yikes

22:16 I love that Mr. Benedict got closure in telling Miss Perumal that her words stuck with him

22:40 the way she just knows Reynie took the position of leader 😭😭

22:54 SHE WROTE HIM A LETTERRR

23:02 "Would it be possible to get this to him?" Ma'am what part of undercover spy don't you get

23:54 it's still really weird that we are now in a position where Reynie is the one who is not trusted and Sticky is the one in Curtain's favor

24:13 and here we see Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues shining through

24:21 "the little things matter. Every minor detail, it all matters!" CALLBACK TO MR. BENEDICT TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY ALL MATTER

24:55 "I can tell with complete accuracy when a person is lying." first of all, no. second of all, I cannot wait for him to talk to Constance.

26:33 why is Mr. Benedict graphically explaining the children's potential trauma so funny to me

26:40 "you're catastrophizing." "Yes. I am. Quite severely. Thank you." WHY IS THIS FUNNY

26:58 MADGE!!!!

27:16 she's so prettyyyyy

27:33 GOOD JOB MADGE!!!!!

27:36 wait did she just take the LETTER??? she's delivering the LETTER?????

28:05 WHAT DOES "OKAY FINE" MEAN??? REYNIE??????

28:22 it's sad because it's true 🥺

28:24 "I miss my teacher from the orphanage" the best lies are the ones rooted in truth 🥺🥺🥺

28:48 roll credits

29:16 Reynie honey Orion's Belt isn't on the ceiling

29:29 the way he was so confident that he had it right 😑 Curtain Stop Being a Pretentious Fuck challenge

29:52 our babygirl is so smartttt

29:55 did Milligan plant his prints 😳 oh no OH NO

29:57 MARTINA???? WHATSUEJHDKD

29:57 is this the replacement for when they pin cheating on her????

30:03 THE KEY CARD!!!!

30:11 MADGEEEE

30:21 "one attacked me as a small child" honey you are a small child

30:24 "it did not win," she said, smiling menacingly

30:40 "so we dance again" WHY DID THE MUSIC REV UP WHEN SHE SAID THAT HAHAHAHA

31:01 ✨woodworking is a passion✨

31:58 "was it functional?" "Well I guess that depends on how you define functionality" RHONDA'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

32:10 OH HEY MARTINA

32:17 wait 🥺

32:22 that has to be SQ :)

32:28 hi sweet boy

32:34 please tell me they did that shot of the sandwich because Madge is about to take it

32:39 LMFAOOOOO

32:44 hi good girl!!! Enjoy your snackies

32:50 oh god oh no the LETTER

33:25 oh wow we're doing this NOW??

33:52 and here we see another example of Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues bubbling to the surface

34:10 hey what if you uhhh weren't such an asshole

34:33 that man's voice is buttery

34:52 REYNIE'S TRYING TO TELL SQ????

35:02 and they're talking about this right in front of the office door, WHY??

35:24 AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE DOOR, WHY????

35:55 he's letting him go 🥺🥺🥺🥺

36:14 why does that look like a body bag

36:17 oh my gosh it definitely is a body bag, hey Martina

36:25 yep, that's about what I expected

36:36 "whoever did this to me, they're gonna pay" oh girl do I have some bad news for you

37:12 ahhhh, so Martina is the burnt out gifted kid who keeps going out of spite and sheer force of will

37:12 everything makes much more sense now

37:30 ohhhhh my gosh feelings time

37:44 "I think it's awesome." "Yeah. I know you do." THE SHIPPERS ARE THRIVING

37:54 THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE HUH

38:10 "it's the least I can do" that's an understatement 😬

38:14 AAWWWWW SHKSHSLSBDK

38:20 "I don't know what I'd do without you, Wetherall" STOPPPPP

38:30 HEY BUD UH MAYBE CLOSE YOUR DOOR???

38:38 he's been writing letters to her every night and now he finally gets one back 😭😭

39:34 so Miss Perumal wrote this letter with the intention of it being sent to him, right- why did she write it like that?? 😂

39:34 they've gone to such lengths to communicate in code but the letter kind of undermines that- it was written in such a way that an onlooker would know Reynie was a spy but wouldn't know what he was doing or why. No wonder SQ was pissed

39:41 KATE!!

40:10 BREAKING NEWS: local bastard man treats everyone like shit

40:15 ohhhhh SQ bud please be careful

40:30 "always have time for my son," he said in a clipped voice that implied that he does not have time for his son

40:35 ohhh he's getting RIGHT INTO IT HUH

40:41 you mean to tell me he's never asked about Mr. Curtain's work?? Ever???? Somehow that doesn't seem right to me

40:57 hey uh what if you didn't talk down to SQ at every opportunity

41:02 "would you care to reconsider that answer, son?" "No." DIG THOSE HEELS IN SQ!!!!

41:22 I'm really not digging that Curtain is using the guise of openly expressing his feelings to communicate his anger and his unasked question. Not cool bitch head

41:33 the fact that he didn't answer SQ's spoken question kind of also answers his unspoken question

41:45 "I knew there was something off about that girl. But espionage?" "How do you so convincingly fake a tetherball obsession?" I love that this entire conversation could be about Martina or Kate interchangeably

42:34 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

42:36 IF IT WAS THAT EASY TO FIND WITH BINOCULARS HOW HAD THEY NOT BEEN SPOTTED UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!!?#? HOW????

43:05 Kate advocating for Martina with the Society 🥺🥺 the interaction I didn't know I needed

43:58 "I definitely don't like to leave anything unfinished." "That's true, I've seen you eat." PFFFFT

44:05 YESS YOU GO STICKY USE YOUR ACCESS FOR PRIME INTEL

44:19 "well, you can't succeed without me, so..." baby girl you have no idea how right you are

44:28 please let that be Milligan PLEASE LET THAT BE MILLIGAN

44:32 YEAAAAAHHHHH

44:35 I simply adore him

44:45 "would you mind helping me down, please? I'm stuck." Your honor I would die for this man

44:54 oh shit, Martina's tryna sleuth it out herself.. this can't end well

45:04 is she about to find Kate's marbles or something?? Callback to the book?

45:26 the absolute MURDER in her eyes

45:31 FUCKIN YIKES

45:41 "the clothes of someone who had given up" ASEJDGEIDNDLFK

45:47 well that's not good

46:00 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

46:04 PLEASE let them be on their way already, please

46:14 THEY MADE A BLIMP????

46:17 Goodyear is QUAKING

46:35 why the fuck is Number Two in red, that's upsetting on principle

THEYRE JUST ENDING IT THERE???? goddamnit!!!!

How surreal is it that next week is the finale?? Idk if I'm ready for that????

#mbs disney+#mbs liveblog #the dance of the celestial orb #the mysterious benedict society #charity's talkies

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bthump · 3 years

Note

hello, i just recently read berserk and i am absolutely blown away. im so glad to have found your blog, you have made a lot of in depth analyses on griffguts and honestly i have a lot of trouble comprehending griffith's and gut's relationship and feelings toward each other post-eclipse but i feel like you clarified a lot of things for me and im so grateful! i also wanna ask smth in regards to guts and casca but character limit soon so ill do it in another ask. just wanna say i appreciate you!

idk if its just me being ridiculously biased but i cant rly see the guts/casca ship? like i can tolerate it because i feel like it was written to move the plot in a certain direction/character development and not for the sake of romance but i always feel like guts was just... there. i mean when you compare the way he thinks abt griffith to casca in the golden age arc, he obviously reveres griffith so much, and casca is just... there. i really enjoyed their moments and thought they were cute but

with the sex scene i always just saw it as them coping. i did like it in how it explored guts's sexual trauma and it mostly seemed like guts and casca were friends doing it for the sake of coping rather than out of love and desire for each other. not to mention judeau who kept trying to push them together... but then post-eclipse, it seems like guts is so in love w/ her and thats why hes heartbroken, and not bc they were close friends and that he just cares for her as a fellow hawk member

idk maybe im missing something, i would love to be enlightened bc i rly scratch my head when i see people describing it as an amazing love story and a romantic ship when to me it comes off as less like trying to portray a passionate love b/w two characters and more as, this is necessary for guts's character development and motivation in regards to griffith. esp when i feel like guts and griffith's feelings for each other are just so intense, even if its more "subtle" than an outright sex scene

thank you so much! I'm v glad my blog helped clarify some stuff about the story for you, I appreciate you letting me know <3

well if you want to be enlightened about how Guts and Casca is actually super romantic deep down you've come to the wrong place lol because you've mostly described how I feel about their relationship.

I completely agree that during the Golden Age their relationship felt very much like two friends hooking up. The fact that Judeau had to push them into it seems really telling to me, there are strong indications that they're both rebounding from Griffith, as soon as Griffith re-enters the picture they get weird and jealous, after they have sex Guts calls his sword all there is for him and invites Casca along in as non-committal a way as you can, Guts decides independent of Casca to stay with Griffith instead of leaving with her just as Casca decides the same, I also want to shoehorn in a link to this thing I wrote lol, etc.

And I actually don't see any difference after the Eclipse tbh. I actually wonder which translation you read, because I know at least one of the scanlations out there has Guts talk about how he loves her a few times post-Eclipse while the Dark Horse translation never does.

I think Guts' relationship with Casca after the Eclipse is largely based on obligation. It's actually kind of striking to me how unromantic it is.

Like during the Conviction arc he doesn't stop everything he's doing and decide to save Casca once he realizes she's in danger. He goes to check on her, finds her missing, then sits down in Godo's cave and debates with himself for two chapters before deciding to try to find her. And he only comes to this decision after comparing leaving Casca behind to leaving Griffith behind in the snow, and thinking of her as the last remnant of the Hawks ("this last feeble flame.")

I think to Guts she represents everything he threw away when he left the Hawks, and saving her is essentially a chance to better himself and try to make up for it. I don't think that's Guts' only motivation for saving her and then taking her to Elfhelm, I actually have a post here where I wrote a list of all the reasons I think Guts has if you're interested, but I do think it's the most important one.

And man after he saves her and returns her to Godo's, right before the Hill of Swords?

To me this excellent page - Casca mirroring a child, Griffith looking Like That, Guts' attention torn from Casca because Griffith looks Like That - just screams that Casca is Guts' responsibility while Griffith is Guts' desire. Whether that's revenge or latent attraction or probably both l b r, Griffith is the dude Guts wants to be pursuing and Casca is the person Guts is stuck with.

Even when he sexually assaults her it's all about Griffith lol, it's not even framed as, say, Guts being so attracted to her he can't help it or anything like that, it's framed as "do this and you'll get closer and closer to Griffith."

After learning her mind can be restored he potentially starts thinking about her more romantically, like there's subtext there when he watches Casca with Moonlight Boy on the beach, eg. And even that reads to me as Guts trying to distract himself from his "obsession" with Griffith.

I think Guts wanted to get back together with Casca after getting her sanity back for the same reason he had sex with her the first time - as a distraction from confusing and painful feelings. In the most recent chapters we saw that it didn’t work out and now he’s swinging his sword again, frustrated, wondering what the hell he’s supposed to do now, which in itself shows that he wasn’t trying to selflessly help Casca because he loves her, he mainly just needed something else to focus on while trying to kick his Griffith addiction.

SO yeah, basically ia that their relationship doesn’t seem romantic pre-Eclipse, but I also don’t think there’s much of a romantic element post-Eclipse either. I felt like it was fairly consistent throughout.

#ask #a #b #ship: gtsca #theme: revenge #theme: repression #character: guts

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seraphsurvival · 3 years

Text

episode 1: 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙜

having completed all their challenges for week one it is time for the angels to face the music. with their votes in and team performances judged their final rankings decide who will continue on to become apart of 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇. will your favourite angel soar high or will they fall from grace ?

* note that indented + italic text like this means it is confessional footage *

the iconic seraph intro music played as the cameras focused on the show hosts nova and yen.

“good evening everyone and welcome to...” nova began before yen joined in “seraph!” they chorused.

“this week was a tough first week for our angels.” yen began before looking over at nova who enthusiastically nodded along . “they had 2 challenges to complete: the iconic angel song and a group performance.”

“having to juggle solo performances and group work proved to be quite difficult for some of our angels. both groups had their share of mishaps...” behind nova clips of the angels in their confessionals in tears or looking stressed covered the screen further proving her statement.

“but despite all of this we saw some amazing performances.” nova grinned as she turned back to all the angels on the platform behind her.

“judges, what do you think of our angels this week? who stood out the most to you?” yen questioned turning all focus to the panel of judges.

“i thought this week was fun, we got to see a different side to the angels usual concepts,” hyuna spoke first , making sunmi and j-hope nod along with her. “i personally really enjoyed ricky’s performance, it was so fun to watch. her expressions made it that much more entertaining.”

the camera focused on ricky as she bowed at the praise. her features stretched out in a bright smile as chloe squeezed her hand beside her happy for her new best friend.

“i think mine was yuri’s performance of ‘GOTTA GO’. she surprised me in a good way. i was not expecting her to stand out the way she did but i’m glad she did. i’m proud of her.” sunmi answered.

on stage yuri visibly blushed as she repeatedly bowed. her soft ‘thank you’ making sunmi smile sweetly.

“hmmm all the angels were truly excelled this week ,” j-hope chuckled , resting his head on his hand. “none of the performances were boring. did some have room for growth in technique terms? of course, but pretty much everyone performed well.”

“yeah, yeah, yeah. who was your favourite?” hyuna jokingly pushed making everyone laugh.

“if i had to pick i think my favourite would be summer’s cover of ‘DARE’. her lines were clean and moves sharp. it was great to see her do a much darker concept. you can tell why she is where she is.”

summer nodded happily as a response to j-hope’s comments. she had always been a huge fan of BTS and it took everything within her not to fangirl hearing her idol praise her for her performance.

“what about the groups what did you think?” nova questioned once again.

the judges shared a look with each other before hyuna leaned into her mic, “honestly group one really surprised us this week. im really impressed with their performance of ‘FAKE LOVE’.” the idol leaned forward to be in her fellow judge’s line of sight. “j-hope, was it up to standard?”

“it was definitely up to standard they really destroyed the performance. i feel honoured truly.” he chuckled

the entirety of group one laughed at his comment. each of the angels thanking him in their own regard, their pride evident in their faces the entire time. in juxtaposition the camera pans to team two who’s faces look less than impressed with

“overall, i’d say everyone did great today, yes there is definitely room for improvement but and i don’t think i’d be wrong if i said all us judges are proud of every single one of the angels on a successful first week,” sunmi concluded. hyuna and j-hope hummed in agreement and nodded along to every word she said. she sent the angels a reassuring thumbs up to try soothe the obvious nerves of all the angels on stage.

incase you missed it !

[ WATCH SOLO PERFORMANCES — HERE ]

[ WATCH GROUP PERFORMANCES — HERE ]

the lights dimmed as the entire mood of the studio shifted.

“even though all our angels deserve to soar high sadly for one angel their wings will be cut.” nova spoke, her serious tone emphasizing the tension in the studio.

“before we show the results here’s a refresher on how voting works: you have been voting all week for your favourite angel and those votes contribute 50 points each. these points are added to the group points.” she looked over at yen to signal her to say her next lines.

“but today’s episode has a special twist,” yen turned to the camera with a pause. “two angels will be going home today.” behind the hosts the angels heads snapped up in panic. none of them were aware of the double elimination.

“the first will be the angel with the lowest rank from the losing team, and the other will be the angel with the lowest overall ranking, even if she’s part of the winning team she’ll leave the show today.”

the silence in the studio was deafening. none of the angels dared say a word as they waited in anticipation for the results. the angels stood in the groups as they linked hands to give each other support.

“without further ado, let’s see the results.” nova spoke directing everyone’s eyes to the screen where everyone’s rankings were plastered.

𝙎𝙀𝙍𝘼𝙋𝙃 𝙒𝙀𝙀𝙆 𝙊𝙉𝙀 : 𝙁𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙇 𝙍𝘼𝙉𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂

* every member of group 1 gets 350 points for placing first and every member of group 2 gets 250 points for placing last *

BAEBI - 1450 ( @whileinvenus )

YURI - 1300 ( @cube-vivid )

SUMMER - 1150 ( @se4sonz )

MIMI - 900 ( @inter-stellar-jyp )

RICKY - 850 ( @unholiied )

HAEJU - 800 ( @hcney-moon )

CHLOE - 800 ( @chloekwon )

EDEN - 750 ( @inter-stellar-jyp )

JADE - 750 ( @nct-krown )

AME - 700 ( @triptychexe )

DAHLIA - 650 ( @d3adfl0wers )

JAY - 500 ( @dulcetgg )

yuri brought her hands to her mouth, frozen in shock.

“i was not expecting to make it another week honestly,” she spoke in disbelief. “after being outshined by ricky all week, i thought it was over but here i am!” she giggled covering her mouth to hide the broad smile taking over her features.

baebi hugged her excitedly. her smile not only reflecting her pride in yuri’s high rank but also her own first place rank. pushing aside her dissatisfaction with their team losing she still was proud of what they’d done.

the same positivity was not felt as dahlia and jade saw the score board. as their team came last they knew someone was in jeopardy of going home but neither of them would’ve guessed it would be dahlia.

frozen in shock jade turned to dahlia who’s hand had flown up to her mouth as her eyes welled up. jade made quick movement to comfort dahlia before she fully broke down.

“don’t let them see you cry you know this says nothing about your talent or potential.” she whispered into dahlia’s ear. the older girl nodded along with jade’s words as she took deep breaths. as much as she was balanced now it still didn’t feel fair.

“dahlia doesn’t deserve this. she is one of the most talented girls here.” jade folded her arms as she turned her head to the side. “i can’t believe dahlia is gone and voice crack ricky is in the top 5. it doesn’t feel right.”

on the other team the girls huddle in an excited hug at their teams first place ranking. their teams ranking is what saved ame that week and she knew it. she had the second lowest rank of her team aside from jay who unfortunately had the least votes that week overall.

“at least some people voted for me”, she spoke to the camera as she let out a sigh. “i’ll just have to work extra hard next week,” she nodded as she encourage herself, trying her best to maintain the smile on her face no matter what.

in contrast to the rest of the girls , jay couldn’t keep her facade up. despite the positive energy around her she couldn’t stop the silent sobs that left her. she didn’t want her journey to end so abruptly, she deserved to stay longer mimi hanged her tightly as she let the taller girl cry into her shoulder. her eyes glossed over along with jays as she knew she was going to miss her, jay was one of the girls she’d grown closest to besides eden.

“i’m obviously going to miss jay,” mimi spoke softly wiping away at her tears. “she’s so talented i’m so sad to see her go. this week didn’t showcase her charms to the fullest,” she shook her head sadly as she sniffled.

the two eliminated girls took a step forward standing center stage as the judges said their last words.

“dahlia, how are you feeling?” nova asked as her teammates lovingly rubbed her back.

taking a deep breath dahlia spoke into the mic that was handed to her. “i’m obviously disappointed. our group didn’t go as planned and i just feel like i didn’t get to fully showcase what i’m capable of.” she sniffles loudly towards the end as she tried her best to hold in her tears.

“dahlia, you’re a talented girl. it's sad because it really felt as if you didn’t know why you were here, i couldn’t feel your passion and you need that to sell a performance.” sunmi spoke her eyebrows furrowed and lips downturned.

dahlia nodded, a sad tight lipped smile on her features as she handed to mic back. she was so focused on the rest of the team not messing up as well as feeling cheated out of the roll of main vocalist played against her. and it was too late to try again all she could do is find the spark that once lit a flame of passion in her and try again outside the show.

“jay,” j-hope sighed as the tall girl bowed her head unable to even look at the judges. “it’s sad seeing you go,” he admitted with a pout. “but i think it’s because you just haven’t found your sparkle yet and i think that’s something you have to do outside of ‘seraph’. but don’t give up and keep up the good work , and I’m sure you’ll be the next big thing.” all jay could do was nod, even having been handed the mic she couldn’t speak a word.

the focus shifted from the bottom 2 girls to ame who although safe still looked as distraught as the other angels.

“ame, you were so close to the bottom this week,” hyuna pointed out to which ame nodded her face sullen and disappointed. “you got lucky tonight but don’t let your guard down,” she pointed at the girl, giving her a knowing look. “something needs to change or you’ll be the next to say goodbye.” she warned. ame nodded once again taking a respectful bow.

the cameras focused back on the two hosts as the girls regrouped behind them.

the two girls descended the platform. dahlia wrapped her arm around jay as she still sobbed uncontrollably. the two made their way off stage waving to the remaining angels before exiting the studio completely and making their way to the dorms to pack up their belongings.

“it’s always sad to see and angel take off, especially so early in the show,” yen sighed sadly. nova hummed in agreement,” but sadly that’s how the show goes.”

“but let’s not focus on only the negatives but some positives. ladies and gentlemen give it up for our remaining 10 angels!” nova cheered making the studio erupt in excited claps and cheers. “congratulations girls you’ve made the top 10 out of hundreds of applicants!” the girls cheered once again as their moods lifted a significant amount compared to the somber mood earlier.

“that’s it for this episode! stay tuned to see how the angels spread their wings and soar through weekly challenges and compete to be a part of the ultimate super group !” yen ran over her signature closing line once again, sharing a sweet smile with her cohost

“thanks to everyone who participated and we’ll see you next week !” nova chimed in mirroring yen’s bright smile.

“goodbye !” they chorused as the 2 hosts waved at the camera before it zoomed out to focus on everyone in the studio.

*results below ! *

#[ 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇 ] : ゝ ʚ fly me to the moon ɞ #bbkoc #aeskocnet #kpop idol oc #idol!au #idol!oc #oc kpop idol #kpop idol au #kpop addition #idol au

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chrolloctrl · 3 years

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hello～! can i request for Adultrio who fell in love with fem crime hunter Reader? also have a nice day/evening💘

thank you for the request! i tried my best to make all of these different from each other, but i also tried to stay true to how the characters would sincerely react:) oh and sorry for the late post, school’s been tough :( but yknow it be like that

note(s)/warning(s): some mentions of blood and violence, but other than that nothing you wouldn’t see on hxh though

fandom(s)/character(s): hunter x hunter, adultrio, aka illumi, hisoka, and chrollo

for dialogue purposes, italics are you, and bold is the character :)

i l l u m i

since you’re a crime hunter and he is a literal trained assassin, the relationship is pretty much seemingly doomed for failure

however i imagine that you guys meet in an a very unexpected way

he’s on a mission to kill someone who had stolen from the zoldycks, and you’re on a mission to take out a thief

yeah it’s the same guy you got it

illumi gets there first and gets the job done

much to your dismay

you’re standing right behind him as he’s covered in blood over the body

all you say is “since when does the assassin do something morally correct?”

“when it benefits him.” he responds.

i think he recognizes you before you recognize him

“you’re y/n, right? crime hunter?”

“you could say that.”

“we aren’t so different you know..”

“we are incredibly different. i don’t kill for sport.”

“you still kill, though.”

you’re so pissed off because he kind of has a point

oh and that emotionless stupid little face of his pisses you off even more

it’s all love we know i love illumi

illumi’s bloodlust is out of control at this point, your interaction with him just increased that

“what are you going to do? kill me?”

“no. it doesn’t benefit me now does it?”

“what do you want from me illumi?”

“ a deal.”

somehow he ropes you into helping him on missions as long as it corresponds with your own morals

i think the moment he realizes he’s in love with you is when you explain morality to him

like obviously he has no idea wtf good morals are lmao

you act as his therapist in a way, comforting him about his past and telling him that his bad actions don’t make him a bad person, just a person who used to do bad things

sorry guys i love soft illumi, and i genuinely think he has the capability to be good

one day he breaks down after a mission, and he is so embarrassed that you’re the first person he shows his deep, buried emotions to

you just hold him and comfort him, telling him its not his fault

after that he doesn’t want to talk to you because he’s embarrassed

“i think emotions make you a better assassin.”

“how does that make sense?”

“makes you think twice.”

and now he knows why killua loves gon so much.

h i s o k a

we already know this bitch is obsessed with you

probably keeps tabs on you to see what you’re up to

every headline involving you “taking down another lowlife” catches his attention so fast

he wants a fight so bad

so he creates a plan

commit a crime so terribly that they HAVE to send you to take him out

just another amazing idea from hisoka!

so he figures out who you’re working for, and kills someone close to them, obviously leaving behind a trace so they have somewhat of an idea as to who he is, but still making it a hunt

he probably leaves a star and tear behind, something that only those who knew him would recognize

and so he watches you hunt him while he hunts you

you’re asking anyone and everyone if they recognize the star and tear, most people either having no clue, or recognizing it but keeping quiet about it in fear of what hisoka would do

eventually, someone says they know a person who draws a star and tear on their face — hisoka morrow

once hisoka hears that you know his name he is absolutely ecstatic, he probably reveals himself to you right after

“it has been so fun watching you search for me.”

“if you knew i was looking, why be a coward and hide?”

“there’s no fun if there’s no chase, darling.”

you guys battle it out, i imagine the fight is very close, but evidently you just can’t keep up with him

“you put up a beautiful fight…hmm, perhaps i’ll let you survive if you join me?”

out of breath and on the brink of death, he assumes you’re saying no

right as he goes for the finishing blow, you hold your hands up, and whisper through a mouth full of blood a small “i’ll do it.”

he has a huge grin on his face, so excited to have successfully “corrupted” you

sorry y’all added a little corruption kink in their my b

once he takes you to machi so she can heal you, you both go on ur little killing ppl missions together cos what else does hisoka do lol

he realizes he’s in love once you finish someone off, a crazed look in your eyes, smile on display, covered in blood.

“you’ve never looked as beautiful as you do now.”

you and hisoka’s love is weird. but it’s intense, and it is real. just not...normal.

you guys are crazy killers, but it works

he probably draws a star and tear on you just so u guys can match

after u.. murder people <3

yandere reader vibes sorry

c h r o l l o

for this, we are going to assume that you are the “weakest” link of the crime hunter agency

so they make you the bait

sorry i just want to cover all of our bases

you definitely have a lot of potential, you are just incredibly clumsy, and taking down the phantom troupe is something that requires plenty of people on the job

chrollo already knows you’re a crime hunter when he “runs into you” at a bar, as well as the fact that you aren’t working alone

but he entertains you, just because he’s bored lol

i can already picture you being caught off guard by how handsome chrollo is, because honestly im sorry who wouldn’t be

you kind of even forget you’re there on a job

but, when chrollo asks if you know about nen and what type of nen you use, you quickly remember why you’re there

you smile, “yes, i’m a specialist.”

he asks you to show him, but you decline

“i will lose it if i do.”

chrollo smirks, “smart girl.”

with that, you feel a sharp pain on the side closest to chrollo, and everything goes dark as you tumble into his arms

once you wake up, all the spiders surround you, chrollo in the center

“caught in the web.” you say, as chrollo’s eyes lighten up.

“precisely.”

“is there any way to escape a spider’s web?”

“prove to be worthy.”

there he went again, begging to see your nen so he could steal it

but just because you were thought to be the weakest link, didn’t mean it was true

“i mean, you’re looking at it right now.”

the troupe stares in confusion, and before chrollo can respond, one of the spiders falls to the ground, beheaded. (i can’t pick who so just pretend its ur least favorite <3)

the spiders stand there in shock

there were two of you.

the real you, free and unbounded, makes the clone disappear

“you said you were a specialist, but this seems to be a conjurer technique?”

“the speciality is that you can’t steal it. it isn’t exactly nen.”

this is the first time someone’s caught chrollo off guard, he has no idea what to do, i mean how did he know that this you wasn't a clone?

“now, i’ve heard once a leg is missing, there needs to be a replacement. what does the head think?”

you weren’t just a crime hunter, you were a double agent who wanted in on the phantom troupe

the moment chrollo realized your abilities weren’t nen, i think that’s when he fell in love

hear me out

he knows he’s going to be indebted to you forever

and we all know those books he reads...mf is a hopeless romantic who if in love, pretty much is absolutely obsessed

and boy is he obsessed already

of course, he is unable to steal it from you which is quite a drag

but, with you there, and your undiscovered abilities, the phantom troupe was basically unbeatable

something he wanted so badly

“welcome to the troupe number ___.” (once again i can’t decide who LOL you guys can pick)

you protect him and he protects you.

if any of the troupe questions you and your decisions, he defends you so fast

eventually the troupe is referred to as “a spider with two heads”

kinda cute, kinda funky fresh name for thieves and murderers<3 at least u guys r passionately in love <3

i hope this was good!! im kind of rusty so sorry :( im finishing up some other requests, and im thinking of crossposting a fic on here and on ao3, inspired by my dr strange/hxh hcs :) but requests are still open! guidelines right here (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ thank you to everyone who shows love to my posts!

#hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh hcs #adultrio hcs #adultrio x reader #hisoka x reader #chrollo x reader #illumi x reader #hisoka hc #chrollo hc #illumi hc

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