#can you believe were still doing this
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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My variant cover for Superboy: Man Of Tomorrow #6 !!
#art#my art#superboy#conner kent#kon el#superboy man of tomorrow#dc#superman#dc comics#artists on tumblr#again not fanart but official art CAN YOU BELIEVE IT#i didn't even know the solicits were out i assumed they were still doing that knights of terror event for september too whoops
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woe mundane monopoly headcanons be upon ye
follow for more of modern au hua cheng’s outfits
#mostly completed this a month ago and then procrastinated the final touches until now lmao#its. so low quality. i also switched to a new brush for lineart and now this is kinda 🥴#i wanted to draw my modern au designs :3#fun facts:#hua cheng has a glass eye but he still covers it with his bangs#modern HC shops at prada btw#MQ is described as looking more like a civil god than a martial one so he has a goth academia type thing going on#FX wears sports team shirts everywhere sorry#mu qing’s mug has 3 different level markers#“fuck off” “i can hear you i just dont care” and “ok what were you saying?”#i think mu qing would hate that sort of mug but feng xin and xie lian keep giving them to him#apologies to anyone who doesnt know the rules of monopoly this is incomprehensible without previous knowledge#so: do i believe these four would actually voluntarily hang out post canon#yes actually. fxmq and hua cheng mutually tolerate each other for xie lians sake#imo after like a LONG time hc could actually be friendly towards fx (in book 2 fx admits how courageous hong hong’er is) or mq (bitch2bitch#but i dont think thatll happen there is way too much resentment that goes both ways#remember that theyve canonically fought multiple times ‼️#tgcf#art#tian guan ci fu#天官赐福#heaven official’s blessing#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#fengqing#feng xin#mu qing#xianle trio#my art
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non-exhaustive list of canon powers Nico di Angelo either has shown or is heavily implied to have:
Shadow-travel
Manipulation of shadows/darkness (also possibly use of shadows as a pocket-dimension a la Magicians using the Duat in The Kane Chronicles)
Becoming intangible/shadows
Complete control over skeletons/bones (dead or alive, including summoning, reanimation, and/or changing shape of them) and being able to sense their presence
Summoning, reanimating, commanding, and dispelling the dead/undead (Skeletons, zombies, ghosts, etc & varieties) and being able to sense their presence
Ability to understand/communicate with the dead/undead and potentially other beings of the Underworld
Inherent complete comprehension of Latin
Ability to perceive the usually unperceivable/possibly look upon a deity’s true form without repercussion (at least moreso than the average demigod, though possibly is restricted to chthonic beings) (ex: Tartarus, potentially also interacting with his parents, etc)
Interacting tangibly with ghosts (implied to be a Ghost King thing rather than a Hades/Pluto thing)
Partial or complete immunity to different effects of the Underworld/things within (can consume food/drink of or in the Underworld without repercussions, effects from the Lethe wear off over time instead of being permanent like usual for mortals, etc)
Astral projection/”Walking in dreams”
Dream manipulation and projection (Sending dreams to others, etc.) (presumably includes sharing/projecting dreams with others) alongside inflicting sleep upon others even from a distance.
Illusions
Manipulation of emotions/aura that inflicts specific emotions on others (ex.: radiating fear/death onto enemies)
Projection of emotions and memories onto others (can be so forceful it causes physical damage like a shockwave)
Geokinesis (all forms but also specifically generating black marble) (presumably also specialized control over precious gemstones & non-paper currency)
Temperature manipulation (seemingly only lowering temperature)/creating frost)
Control/manipulation of souls, including living beings (ex: ripping out Bryce Lawrence’s soul)
Perceiving/reading/judging of souls (most likely also a Ghost King thing over Hades/Pluto thing, but possibly both)
Converting living into dead/undead, aka instakill (ex: disintegrating monsters to bone with one touch)
Lowering or manipulation of own vitals (breathing, heart rate, etc)
Death Trance/pseudo-hibernation (possibly also general control over states of consciousness at least for self, in combo with control over vitals & dreams)
Sensing death (impending or when it occurs, sometimes receiving dreams/visions of it occurring)
Able to sense other children of Hades/Pluto (potentially also other chthonic beings in general/able to identify based on sense alone) and also just living beings in general, such as mortals (possibly via souls).
Improved navigation underground/in the Underworld and ability to traverse restricted or normally unnavigable parts of the Underworld
Enhanced strength/abilities when in the Underworld
Inherently unnaturally quiet (possibly able to silence sound on a designated target)
Hiding/shielding self from being perceived (seemingly related to shadows/silence)
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#long post //#MY BOY IS OP AS FUCK and i love this about him#so many of these are so underutilized#when will Nico get to use his geokinesis again#we only see him make marble once in BoTL and then never again#based on that he should theoretically be able to do everything Hazel can do. which also implies Hazel can do everything he can do#let Hazel summon a skeleton for once and Nico hits somebody with a rock cmon#also i still firmly believe Nico should get to turn invisible#we've seen him become intangible. his dad's notable item is a helm that makes you invisible. let him turn invisible.#but yeah big 3 kids are op. look at nico go. and this is just physical abilities not including stuff like Annabeth being smart#or cabin 7 kids being good at music or whatever#presumably for Nico/Hazel it'd be like a penchant for diplomacy and legality-related things presumably#and i like to hc he has a personal inherent knowledge bank of everyone who has ever died in his lifetime - just details about their deaths#mostly anyways and then like basic facts about who they were/next of kin/etc#so they can tap into that at any time and be like ''hold on lemme look this person/their relatives up real quick''#i usually like to write that as how Nico confirmed what was up with Jason when they first met#he just kind of squinted at Jason and went ''okay. hm. who are you next of kin of? Beryl - OH YOU'RE THALIA'S BROTHER''
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no line in cinema has understood me in the way that “I love you too. but I shouldn’t have married you” from Fantastic Mr Fox has understood me. The idea that she wanted a family and a good, safe life, and she wanted him too. But no matter how hard she loves him, he can’t change. She’s never ever going to be able to get exactly what she wants and her child will always have a complicated relationship with his father and there will be this quiet realisation they have to live with. I love you so much, but this was our mistake. and now we’ve made it theirs too.
#I am biting scratching at the walls ripping chunks out of the furniture#I love you but that’s not going to change who you are I love you but you were my mistake I love you. I shouldn’t have. I still do.#the idea that you can be in love and still want to be in love and still believe in your partner. and know it was the wrong choice all along#this was a mistake! I would do it all over the same way but this was a mistake#fantastic mr fox
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I've been reading Exodus lately and I've just gotten to the portions where God gives the first commands to the people via Moses (twice), and then goes on to give detailed instructions about the tabernacle and how it should be built, and I'm just... we think art is unimportant?? we think things only mean as much as their functionality?? we so easily fall into the trap of believing that beauty means nothing, that it's cheap and only worth whatever mindless distraction it brings, that it's barely more than a cheap sensual thrill, that buildings should just be practical and plain and cheap, that everything should be functional but ultimately disposable, that paintings and dresses and mugs and curtains and carpets are just pretty but have no real value, that beauty is fleeting and vain and therefore shouldn't be thought about too much, if even looked for at all... we fall into these traps so easily, and we forget that there are chapters upon chapters of painstakingly detailed plans to build one portable worship tent, and those plans have been handed down through thousands of years of human history, because beauty and art and skill in craft is important
#I have to go get ready for work now but I will come back to this#and don't even get me started on the parts about God calling specific craftsmen *by name*#he called them!! by name!!! he said 'this man is good at his job. he creates beautiful work. he will build my temple and make it beautiful'#and even more--God inspired him!!!! it was a calling of GOD for him to create beautiful carvings and tapestries and candlesticks!!!#look even if you're not jewish or christian or religious at all you have GOT to see what it means that all these incredibly detailed plans#for building this tent-temple are extremely important#because even if you don't believe in God and don't think that this is all significant bc he personally gave the instructions#and then helped preserve this record of them so we could still read them today#you do have to see how important they were to the people of that time who first wrote them down#and the extreme care that was taken to record all of those detail#AND the fact that it's been preserved for so long and we can still read all the care that was put into creating this incredible piece#of artwork and worship they made#gurt says stuff#I just. gahhfhhfj. I'm feeling emotional about chapters of the Bible that I can't even fully force myself to pay attention to#bc there's so MUCH and I'm bad at visualizing this stuff and I tend to zone out while listening to it#but the fact that it IS that much!!! that there SO MUCH DETAIL and it goes on for SO LONG that I even struggle to pay attention!!!#that this was THAT IMPORTANT to the people who wrote it and to God!!! as an artist and someone who has always cared about art#this means so much to me ok#christianity#bible verse#bible thoughts#exodus#art#theology
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I don't have a lot of confidence in my art, but Roosterteeth and Achievement Hunter was one of the few things back in the day that got me to sit down & draw. I'm still really honored to be one of their guest artist for their 18th anniversary. You weren't always the best Roosterteeth, but thanks for inspiring this shy artist to keep drawing.
#pipart#roosterteeth#achievement hunter#probably my last roosterteeth post#digital art#dooleynotedgaming#despite all the horrible things they did there were still so many good people trying their best to make content to make people smile#i believe you cant judge a company by its people cos what you see on the surface is mostly corporate bullshit#but there are still a ton of artists and creators there that are genuinely kind and genuinely care about their audience and the work they d#take it from me who worked in EA the literally sewer of the gaming industry#there were so many good people there but in the end the decisions are all made by the higher ups and no one can do anything about it#they are still people who lost their jobs in what is current the worst time in the industry#so please be respectful and dont harrass them and if you can support them please do#rwby#camp camp#rvb#rooster teeth
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You used to be my rival!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#Poorly drawn MDZS#MDZS#wei wuxian#lan wangji#season 1#If you caught the mbmbam reference you're a real one#This one was fun! I enjoyed trying to figure out a background and while i still have a ways to go I think it adds to the panel a lot#This scene doesn't quite play out with lwj doing the sleepy head on the shoulder#but the audio drama makes it ambiguous for a few seconds and *I* want to believe#Also rip to wwx you should have paid more attention to how close you were sitting to your frenemy#Watch out! He's touch starved and pining after you!! Noooo he cant hear us he's playing with corpse parts!!!#I think it would be funny if the resentful limb was stuck in a resentful pose. Might keep the joke up so we can get to 4x middle finger NJM#After this its Cloud Recess flashback time! Lets go Teens!#Edit: I live in a place that still has daylight savings so this is the new queue posting time. Yes I am miserable#Currently making this note and feeling like LWJ in this comic (sleepy)
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Redrawing/remaking my HLVRAI flowercrown au!! Benrey and Gordon are up first!! (If anyone's curious you can go looking for my old flowercrown au stuff, just be noted its was made four years ago LOL and all the old info is completely irrelevant) click for better quality, tumblr killed it 💀
Up next, Tommy and Gman Coolatta!
In the old version of the plot for this au, it had a lot to do with it being a game and such. However over the years it's changed! No longer a game, instead the Rescas explosion seemed to have had a .. strange affect on Gordon, due to him being right next to it. At least, that's what they all believe at first.
#art#help how do i anatomy#gordon freeman hlvrai#gordon hlvrai#hlvrai gordon#hlvrai#hlvrai benrey#benrey#benrey hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#hlvrai au#hlvrai benry#hlvrai art#basically! during this au each time Gordon dies he “respawns” back at the beginning. right agter the rescas explosion#however he cant bring his body back quite right each time. the different flowers represent who killed him. and the plave of injury .#benrey killed him first. through the eye. it was a misunderstanding! they were just messing around and Gordon . they thought he wasnt human#because he doesnt seem human anymore? they sense it. (so can tommy but that didnt stop tommy from yelling at benrey immediately after)#only as soon as benrey opens their eyes again theyre right back at the beginning and Gordon is trying to pull a flower from his eye. the#the same eye they shot through. augh fuck. anyway benrey is the first to remember. dr coomer and bubby are next to remember (#the betrayal and then the clones killing Gordon and then being brought back to the beginning. even more flowers. one less arm#tommy remembers last. an accidental kill.#Gordon doesnt “technically” remember! and each time hes brougt back he seems to believe the flowers are almost normal. just rescas stuff.#he can even still see out of his other eye? its fine probably. (everytime he rips a flower petal it hurts. like hes tearing through skin)#flowercrown au#feel free to send asks about flowercrown! i will answer and yhen kiss you with tongue /joke!
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sure i COULD ramble about how ai is one of the multiple things that check all the marks of humanity's seven deadly sins but would that be extreme
^^^ possibly insufficiently educated
#the pride the hubris of believing you can do better than innovation and nature by playing god and not in the fun way#the lust it's being used for in so many awful cases#the sloth the way its encouraging everyone to check original sources less before believing anything. Also to not take time to develop skill#the greed its being used for profit without consideration for ethics or fair labour#gluttony. we always have to be faster. shinier. better. no matter if it ends up being less convenient or wonky#the wrath it sows in between people creating more differences to be frustrated over. more hatred#the envy how it takes and takes. always trying to be as clever as the best humans. as beautiful as a real forest or sunset.#do you think the ai wants itself#if this were a scifi movie would we be the bad guys#but this is not a movie and the ai cannot love us. so we cannot love it. and there's that#my post#personal stuff#thinking aloud just silly yapping n jazz 没啥事做就这样咯~#(￣▽￣)~*#when i was in primary school our textbooks for chinese had short stories and articles to learn about#there was a fictional scifi oneshot about a family in the future going to the zoo#the scifi zoo trip was going great until the zoo's systems went offline for a moment#and it was revealed that all the animals roaming in their enclosures were holograms#the real ones went extinct ages ago#when the computers came back online the holograms returned and there they were#honestly at first I thought it was a bit exaggerating#but I still think about it once in a while
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It's been a full year since the Mighty Nein show announcement and I am honestly still laughing that we all inexplicably identified that the lines were re-recorded for the announcement in particular in .02 seconds flat. This is still my takeaway a year later.
#can y'all believe it's been a whole goddamn year. what the fuck.#it's so funny tho cuz I went and listened to it again and STILL was like 'oh that's re-recorded'#even though there's BARELY a discernible difference. like frankly not even a describable one in most cases#it is somewhat clear with essek cuz the actual line does not end on 'ocean of the unknown' but also like#there's a notable gap in the original that's like... no it cOULD'VE been the same line but it's nOT#tbf when you compare them it's also sound quality. like c2 sound quality is VERY MUCH FINE but it's not 'recorded in a booth' good#but also if you're not directly comparing the lines (which like. we were not doing right off the bat) it is... definitely minute inflection#anyway I'm laughing#m9 animated#critical role
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I'm rewatching all the Marvel Defenders shows on Netflix and as much as I mock the MCU now, I need non-Marvel fans to understand that I was and still am a fan of "Daredevil fighting the gentrifying assshole who bought out the police force because ACAB both as a lawyer and vigilante of the community" and "Jessica Jones fighting the man who mind controlled her into doing unspeakable things and forming a community of fellow survivors and allies while dealing with PTSD in a range of both healthy and unhealthy ways" Marvel. God I love these idiots they carried so hard
#vio.txt#mcu#marvel#jessica jones#daredevil#also the two of them induced so much bi panic in me. also gender envy. jessica jones is one of the few women i get gender envy fron#the iron fist and luke cage shows were...more mid but still leagues above current marvel shows#like. yes be anti-mcu but these were masterpieces#and yes this is why i was so pissed about them putting daredevil in she hulk and trying to make him iron man 2.0#like! yes hes suave and charming but thats bc its his lawyer job!! he works in a law firm he and his friends started to serve his community#he is NOT 'i am rich and better than u' charming. he is 'i learned how to talk fancy for my degree and i have empathy' charming#and not bringing the other guys over either???? bruhhh#marvel really cancelled the best things they did on the screen#matt murdock my original red and black round glasses wearing sadboy what did they do to you#also!! can i mention that these shows had such better representation than nowadays marvel#murdock's actor doing extensive research on blind motility for the role#jessica and trish's friendship and how trish immediately believes jess about kilgrave#the whole!!! unique community feel of harlem and in luke's bar#hogarth whos both jessica's employer and foggy's boss in later seasons being a lesbian and having Real Marriage Issues#and also being a conplex and kinda shitty person#iron fist was....eh but that's why it was the worst one lmao#OH YEAH HOW COULD I FORGET MY GIRL KAREN#karen page getting a whole storyline in s1 about her dealing w ptsd and then getting fleshed out backstory and her own adventures#like ok it was kinda weird in daredevil that she dated like every guy bc she was the female lead 💀#but even then foggy and matt and her figuring their shit out like adults. like they shot their shots and it didnt pan out. still besties th#disney would never allow such good writing in current times#but a boy can wish
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37: share a secret
send me a number!! 💌
#my friend made me watch hetalia when we were kids and. yeah you can probably put the rest together#this is probably the most harmless secret i could think of but im still turning reblogs off bc its really embarassing lol#god i remember using the honorifics and everything. with the pointy anime men chins. god damn#canada called britain senpai i believe. i think i wantto go back in time and stop myself from doing that if i could but as it is#it shaped me as a person and theres nothing i can do abt it. they were hot though#i just know maja is going to add this to their pile of 'things im never going to let puppy live down'. i just know it#CROW IF YOURE SEEING THIS IM SO SORRY. I MADE OUR COUNTRIES MAKE OUT SLOPPY STYLE#ask#answered#ask game#doodles#yapping
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Do you know why she is honored as goddess? Bedridden for a long time due to her incomplete celestial roots... a deity everyone thought could not be saved... Lord Xingzhi came to take to the Extranatural Heaven. And cured her. Therefore, the Divine Realm's Heavenly Lord gave her a title: Luotian Goddess – blessings from the sky. The girl blessed by the [ancient] gods.
Li Jia Qi as YOULAN
THE LEGEND OF SHEN LI (2024) 1.17-1.19
#cdramaedit#cdrama#the legend of shen li#li jia qi#jackie li#与凤行#theverylasttofu#took until week two but our girlie lamu came to spice the party ahhhhhhh welcome home baby#that cfensi round-up that one year kinda pointed out a unique talent out of her infinite charms:#can convincingly imitate a medieval painting#idk the specifics but whatever was reworked with her soul made her keen to the three realms' worth of situationship#or truth intuition is her goddess power to begin with *shrugs*#had a preface... excited even about comedy showcase aka her one-sided love rivalry negl i believe in you girls!#youlan's ~attitude~ + quick temper? give the sweetie actual similar friends and not some simps that only revere her being healed#i do believe she'll come around re: misplaced attachments. a bit frightful by way of millenia coma but y'know#let peachkins live and do the cultivation thingy#(did i mishear furongjun - brother appeases sister with 'huang jie'? that's their most normal display rofl)#that said i thought the immortal troops were big gossips but the divine denizens are slowpoke sanctimonious giant snails#and if this was all heaven edition of pass-the-message#they're definitely losing#but it's ok youlan you still and will always be my bébé
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I know I have a habit of always keeping things to myself… But why am I still surprised when people don’t know what I know?
#This applies to so many things in my life#this is so incredibly unhealthy#toxic even#yet i can’t help but keep doing it#and now my friends too#those who said the loudest ‘you have to talk to us if we did something you’re not comfortable with so we can come to terms’#turned out to be bottling the hugest amount of distraught then explode without warning#now everything is in pieces#and there’s nothing that could be mended anymore#thought we had something special you know#then why… why can you sabotage everything so quick and run away so fast#why you do this to us?#what were we to you?#You hurt us all and even yourself with your ego saying we don’t have to care about you#but what were we if not friends?#why?#please I can’t continue like this#I desperately aware that things will never be the same and I can never see you as the same friend I’ve known for years#but I still refuse to believe this is really happening#it’s like sand#the more I hold it the harder I clenched my hand they would still eventually fall through my fingers gaps#are we not friends?#why? Why you did it?#You said nothing and yet expect everyone to know how you feel and to sympathize with you and your reasons#I mean we could#we totally could if you just let us know just the tiniest hint you know?#so why things turned out this way?#where has the years gone?#will I ever stop grieving the past if things keep turning out like this?#what does the future hold anyway and where’s my motivation to grasp it?
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Something something both A and N engage in self alienation (from one's nature/past) to cope with trauma
#i was going to make a joke about how funny it is that A is living in the self delusion of thinking that in no longer being human they can#abandon all that they associate w their humanity (emotions and the trau#trauma* associated w them) when theyre STILL like that. still arrogant and self assured and all thats changed is that youre telling#yourself a story that allows you to ignore any possibility of change and remain in stasis forever <3#ONLY for me to realise N does a very similar thing. notably#they try very hard to reconcile humanity to their current vampiric self and arent so much alienated from HUMANITY as they are from their#past and the person they were. theyre extremely alienated from the person they once were on account of tragic backstory#where A purposely alienates themself from identifying w the nature they believe brought ruination to the people they loved#N alienates themself from the person they once WERE and in doing so can never truly move forward from it#the wayhaven chronicles#tunes talks wayhaven#the brainrot i have for this series....unreal
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