Tumgik
#please I can’t continue like this
Text
I know I have a habit of always keeping things to myself… But why am I still surprised when people don’t know what I know?
#This applies to so many things in my life#this is so incredibly unhealthy#toxic even#yet i can’t help but keep doing it#and now my friends too#those who said the loudest ‘you have to talk to us if we did something you’re not comfortable with so we can come to terms’#turned out to be bottling the hugest amount of distraught then explode without warning#now everything is in pieces#and there’s nothing that could be mended anymore#thought we had something special you know#then why… why can you sabotage everything so quick and run away so fast#why you do this to us?#what were we to you?#You hurt us all and even yourself with your ego saying we don’t have to care about you#but what were we if not friends?#why?#please I can’t continue like this#I desperately aware that things will never be the same and I can never see you as the same friend I’ve known for years#but I still refuse to believe this is really happening#it’s like sand#the more I hold it the harder I clenched my hand they would still eventually fall through my fingers gaps#are we not friends?#why? Why you did it?#You said nothing and yet expect everyone to know how you feel and to sympathize with you and your reasons#I mean we could#we totally could if you just let us know just the tiniest hint you know?#so why things turned out this way?#where has the years gone?#will I ever stop grieving the past if things keep turning out like this?#what does the future hold anyway and where’s my motivation to grasp it?
32 notes · View notes
steddieas-shegoes · 2 months
Text
for @thefreakandthehair (and @vecnuthy and @wormdebut while we’re at it) because sometimes you help a baseball player through French class so they can stay on the team and then they end up on the Savannah bananas and you decide to put the fictional men into situations about it *shrugs*
Eddie was going to have to transfer out of this class. This was one of his easiest classes and it was filled with every jock on campus attempting to fill their foreign language requirement with French.
And they were all failing. And annoying. And obnoxious.
And a few of them were also hot.
But Eddie wasn’t gonna focus on that!
He was gonna finish today’s assignment and then head straight to the advising office to find another class that worked with his work schedule.
“Hey,” the guy next to him whispered as the teacher droned on about conjugating verbs. “Do you have any idea what the fuck the homework was?”
Eddie turned to glare at the person, but his face dropped when he noticed who it was.
The campus celebrity: Steve Harrington.
Couldn’t quite make it on the college baseball team, but managed to make the sort-of professional, but mostly joke team Hawkins Hooligans.
Eddie didn’t like sports, never had. He could appreciate that it took skill and whatnot, but he didn’t care much to watch it or make celebrities of people who were just really good at one very specific thing usually involving some kind of ball. But he could appreciate a joke. And this team had jokes.
Steve was actually apparently good enough to play pro, had even been scouted by the MLB his senior year of high school. One week before his professional tryout, he tore a muscle in his shoulder, had to sit for three months and had to do physical therapy for another three, and voila! No pro ball for him. No college either since he missed spring training.
But he still had skill, and he still had a father with a lot of pull in the business, even if it wasn’t quite enough to get him on the Yankees or whatever.
So he was biding his time on the Hooligans until next year when he could try out for the college team again, maybe increase his chances of a real pro career.
Eddie definitely hadn’t watched videos of him during their first few games of the season where they faced the Indy Idols and the Chicago Charades.
He definitely hadn’t gotten a weird flutter in his stomach when Steve had been the one to lip sync to Hot For Teacher while pretending his bat was a guitar.
He definitely didn’t have a crush on Steve.
“Uh. Dude?” Steve asked him again, shaking him out of his thoughts.
“Yeah. It was the study guide for the first quiz. Not due until next class though,” he whispered back.
“Oh. Thanks.”
Eddie turned his attention back to the professor, not really needing to pay attention since he already knew quite a bit of French.
A tap on his shoulder made him yelp, and the entire room turned to him. He waved apologetically before turning to Steve with a murderous look.
“What?” He hissed out.
“Do you understand this?”
“Yes and you probably would too if you stopped talking to me.”
Eddie was ignoring the voice in his head screaming at him to let Steve keep talking to him for as long as he wanted.
“I don’t think that’s it,” Steve huffed before sitting back in his seat and folding his arms across his chest. He mumbled something else that sounded like ‘I’m just stupid’ but Eddie couldn’t be 100% sure.
“A lot of this stuff is just English spelled a little differently.” Eddie sighed. “You could almost definitely figure it out if you took some notes.”
“Yeah, probably.”
Eddie’s brows scrunched together as he glanced at Steve’s red face.
Hm. There was definitely something to unpack here.
“You can borrow mine if you want,” Eddie offered as he watched the professor switch slides on the presentation. “I don’t really need them until the final.”
“Oh!” Steve sounded genuinely surprised by his offer, like he hadn’t been basically asking for help only a moment ago. “You don’t have to do that. I mean, it wouldn’t do much good for me anyway.”
“What do you mean?” Steve had Eddie’s full attention now.
“I’m. I-“ Steve sighed. “I’m dyslexic, man. Reading’s hard for me.”
Well, fuck. Eddie felt like an asshole now.
“Oh.” Eddie looked down at his scribbled notes, cringing at the thought of someone else trying to read them, let alone someone who already struggled with reading from a printed page. “Yeah, my handwriting is shit so it’d probably be useless to you. Shit, it’s almost useless to me.”
Steve snorted, immediately covering his mouth to avoid any more noise from escaping. Eddie could see he was still smiling though. His eyes were very expressive.
“Don’t you have accommodations?” Eddie asked him.
“Nah, my dad doesn’t believe it’s a problem.” Steve rolled his eyes. “Said I just need to focus more and it’ll ‘work itself out.’”
“He sounds like he’s a lot of fun at parties.”
Steve snorted again. “Yeah, a blast.”
“So you aren’t a natural at French?”
Steve shook his head. “I’m barely a natural at English.”
“I could help you?” Eddie was an idiot. An idiot with a crush on someone who would never be interested in anything he had to offer except tutoring.
“Help me? You’d help me?” Steve seemed eager, maybe a little desperate.
Eddie kinda liked that.
“I mean, yeah. If you’re actually willing to put in the work and not expect me to just do the work for you.”
Steve smiled. God, that was a nice smile. Eddie was absolutely fucked.
“I work well with a reward system,” he smirked. “If you’re willing.”
Eddie’s eyes widened momentarily as the realization sunk in that he’d just been flirted with.
By Steve Harrington.
“Oh, I can definitely work with that.”
Steve nodded once, grinned at Eddie as he picked up his pen and ripped off a small piece of his unused notebook paper. He scribbled something down and folded it once before handing it to Eddie.
“Let me know when I need to show up, Eds.”
Eddie unfolded the paper and nearly dropped it.
Stevie H. 555-555-0086 My dorm at 7? No clothes required
When Eddie looked back up, Steve was facing the front, seemingly paying attention to the lecture.
Eddie quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and put Steve’s contact info in. He could wait until after class to send him a text. He could.
Instead, he typed out something quick to hold them both over until later.
Studying naked is my favorite thing 😉
Steve’s knee nudged against his in response.
Maybe Eddie wouldn’t take that trip to advising after all.
And if he was featured on the next TikTok for the Hawkins Hooligans, with Steve fake serenading him in the stands, nobody had to know he didn’t really like sports.
He liked Steve, though. Even when Steve actually managed to play real competitive baseball. Even when Steve managed to get a spot on the Cubs.
Especially when Steve proposed to him during a game in maybe the worst recorded French of all time.
1K notes · View notes
fastidious-and-a-mess · 5 months
Text
guys can we PLEASE stop shipping riz w people. honestly at this point i kind of don’t even care if you yourself are also acespec/arospec/aspec.
yes, aspec people can be in relationships, etc etc, but riz specifically has expressed over and over and over again that that is something he personally has absolutely zero interest in.
he’s not just canonically aroace, he also canonically does not want a relationship.
“aroace people can be happy in romantic/sexual/queerplatonic relationships” is a true statement. “people who do not want to be in any kind of monogamous committed relationship can be happy in a monogamous committed relationship” is quite a bit harder to argue.
i’m just so sick of it. i’m glad we all understand that there’s nuance to aspec identities, and everyone’s expressions of and experiences with their own aspec identities are going to be different and personal.
like, it’s not even just about the asexual/aromantic aspect anymore. it’s also just refusing to let him not want to be in a relationship. why are so many people so resistant to the idea that he does not want to be in a relationship. like genuinely, why can you not accept that there are people who just don’t want that. who would just be unhappy in a relationship. why can’t you wrap your head around the idea that wanting a relationship is not a thing that everyone secretly wants. like, No, he hasn’t just not “met the right person” yet. because there is no right person. because he’s simply not interested.
this post is kind of rambly and not as effectively phrased as it could be i think but idc.
TL;DR: riz being aroace is not the only reason to not ship him. he also, explicitly and repeatedly, has stated he does not want to be in a relationship. “aspec people can be in relationships” is completely irrelevant because regardless riz simply does not want a relationship. please just respect thag.
edit: plz don’t like this is u wont rb. i won’t guilt you into rbing, it’s ur blog i’m not ur dad do what u want etc etc. it’s just irritating for me personally to see ppl interacting w this but not willing to actually put it on their blogs.
#sorry to keep this ‘’’’’’’ discoure ‘’’’’’’ alive#im just sooooo tired#i just don’t understand how so many people can see this character have such a significant part of characterization be about how#he does not want to be in a Relationship at all and how that affects him and his relationships with the people in his life#and then go ‘what if he was in a Relationship with his best friend’#like come on!!#i don’t care how you define the Relationship. i don’t care about your own personal identity.#i don’t care about whatever reasons you come up with the justify why it’s actually totally fine#the bottom line is riz does not want that for himself and you’re deciding that that’s not worth respecting#sorry fabriz enjoyers but i wish you guys would just stfu#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#edit continued: ik it’s all just online fandom stuff. but it’s also representative of a larger issue#of people just being incapable of comprehending that some people don’t want relationships. or even past that; that some people actively want#to Not be in relationships. it’s people coming into contact with a person (character) like that and believing that that just can’t be true#that that person Must secretly actually want a relationship. even if they don’t know it. they just haven’t met the right person yet. etc etc#if you can’t give up outting riz in any kind of relationship then you cannot accept that some people really truly do not want relationships#that’s FINE. PLEASE just respect that
193 notes · View notes
galaxywarp · 2 months
Text
the weather is getting warmer so I’m gonna politely request that mutuals continue tagging climate change related posts for me <3
Last summer I ended up in a suicidal rabbit hole of wanting to literally set myself on fire because I felt so horrible and hopeless about the state of the environment and I’d rather not do that again !
39 notes · View notes
lovecoredeity · 7 days
Text
fun scene idea that I’ll probably never get around to drawing: someone grabbing a wanted poster from a board or wall only to reveal a missing persons poster featuring the same person as on the wanted poster underneath it (also the reward for them as a wanted person is higher than the reward for returning them when they were missing)
#basically this is something fun I imagine for my oc cashmere#as of right now she’s simply missing (presumed to be kidnapped at least that’s what the family she is from told people)#as of rn in her story she isn’t wanted for anything but that can change I’ll probably have her (attempt to) commit treason against her#own family or something#I think it would be fun that her family is willing to spend less when she’s missing than when they’re mad at him and want him back to be#punished for angering them#I have attempted to draw this out before but was like#it would be better as like an animation tbh but#I can’t animate I’m not going to animate my tablet does not even have the storage for me to animate#maybe a quick animatic if anything but like#idk#it’s more of a fun idea than anything#I imagine what leads to cashmere committing treason is that upon being back in the hands of their family they begin to realize that they#can’t lie to theirself anymore their family is terrible and the reason they died in the first place and snaps#i feel like they found themselves in a situation where they attacked someone out of fear and rage and blah blah that is seen as treason#it would probably be his dad that gets attack im ngl conquest deserves it#or they accidentally hurt them out of fear#I am unsure#*shrug emoji* I’m just making up shit for cashmere as I see fit and per what I find most interesting and fun <3#also cashmere is my only oc rn who would have both a missing and a wanted poster#sure most of my ocs would find themselves wanted for one reason or another or targeted by others#but some cashmere is useful as a tool to their family and having a runaway child is bad for their reputation they’d ofc want her back to#keep her quiet and keep people from finding out that she ran away#they also still think she’s sickly and wouldn’t want anyone to find out who she is that she’s sickly and for word to spread#basically they want cashmere back so their reputation isn’t damaged and so they can go back to using her as they please#I put a lot of suffering into this character#and I will continue to do so because as my favourite this is what happens#sorry I’m babbling
15 notes · View notes
nicoscheer · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
London Night 1 x She's ready x Love MK
X
Have mercy
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
X
instagram
instagram
instagram
Tumblr media
instagram
instagram
14 notes · View notes
chlodoll · 1 year
Text
tom and zendaya were a little wild for looking at each other like this after getting the prompt: “... you know the meme, find someone who looks at you the way x looks at y...”
Tumblr media
tom regretting everything when he says he wasn’t there for the mj fall stunt (but i love how he compliments her for falling backwards)
Tumblr media
tom is asked to do an impression of benedict cucumber but turns the question to zendaya
the way he says.. in smol.. “go on then” ... i zendaya laugh each time too 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
-
they’re so adorable.. fuck y’all who think otherwise
88 notes · View notes
Text
once again sorry to everyone for bringing this to your dashboards. but some of you are like, genuinely delirious. not even in a funny way. & i hope you die. i hope we both die. hand in unlovable hand etc etc
#Just so fucking bizarre to me how people can be Like This. there has to be something so wrong with your brain on a fundamental level#i can’t even laugh about this or anything because i genuinely feel pity for these people. it’s so sad to me how you’re gonna be like 20#and then go in a niche tumblr community and create drama over Nothing. over Thin Fucking Air#like do you not have a life? do you not have college? or a job? doesn’t it get tiring? don’t you ever feel ashamed about all this#and the fact that they go and complain about the shipping and the ‘fandombrained’ people as well…. oh my god#how are you going to be TWENTY. and DO THAT. are you seriously sick. ? do you need help#just say you are homophobic and that you hate kids and go. it’ll save everyone a bunch of time for sure#anyways. as someone who has been a rain world fan since 2018. i love you embracing canon. i love you changing canon. i love you disregarding#canon entirely. i love you ships that make sense in canon & that make absolutely zero sense at all. i love you fancharacters that don’t#follow canon rules. i love you ‘cringe’ fancharacters and self inserts. i love you self shipping. i love you oc x canon shipping.#and i love you taking inspiration from designs. i love you community & i love you artists & i love you art#i love you borrowing elements and being inspired and referencing something because you liked it.#are fandoms perfect? GOOD GOD no. is every Fan perfect? no. am i also sometimes annoyed or irrationally pissed off over a ship that#i think is stupid and is illogical. Yes! i’m only human! but i can still love and appreciate the whole CREATIVITY of it all. and the whole#Fun that people are having. i love you having fun. if i don’t like it or if anyone else doesn’t like it they can just Cope#instead of hateposting about it on main and indirectly bullying people who are most likely children. or lgbt. or both#anyways. please continue doing whatever you want. The world is your oyster and you only live on earth once#everyone else can fuck off
37 notes · View notes
queer-reader-07 · 6 months
Text
i love when people seemingly do everything in their power to interpret what you’re saying in the most bad faith way possible. it’s so fun and nice. (sarcasm)
7 notes · View notes
greaseonmymouth · 4 months
Text
Tea drinkers in the UK:
where do you get your tea that isn’t a supermarket? I’ve been importing my tea because I can’t stand British flavour profiles & black tea but my supplier no longer ships to the UK.
I like:
Roiboos blends with spices and/or fruit
Fruity green/white tea
Current faves include
Roiboos & bilberry
Roiboos & cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, ginger, vanilla
Roiboos & elderberry
Green tea & yuzu & ginger
White tea & blackcurrant
White tea & pear, apple
HELP IM DESPERATE I can only keep drinking twinings green tea & lemon for so long
5 notes · View notes
johndonneswife · 2 months
Text
someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck
#who is talking about this!!!! let me know#idk i have 0 expectations for my family but they still somehow always manage to let me down which#i was anticipating#and i didn’t think i would care because i have never cared before#but liiiiiike.#i wasn’t expecting to feel sad rofl but my family is so fucking flaky. again i KNOW THIS i know i cannot rely on any of them#it’s annoying when i have given them a year and a half to make plans and i have had so many people tell me they would be there#just to back out or ghost or come up with some excuse#like do you know how expensive weddings are 😭 JUST fucking be honest with me and rsvp no#anyway i was very intentional with the few family members i did invite#and specifically invited people i have a rapport with / had a good (ish lol) relationship with growing up#people i have bent over backwards trying to please!!! and dropping everything to help them out#and they can’t even be bothered to communicate with me lol it’s fine. like. i do feel like it’s internalized homophobia at this point#or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible#but they KNOW how much ayesha means to me and knows that no one from her family is coming to our wedding#at the end of the day it’s going to be like. 5 people from my family 1 from ayesha’s (her brother) and like 30-40 friends#which i am so grateful for obviously#i sound like such a brat but it’s also like - watching your family continuously choose drugs/alcohol over showing up for you - lol#AGAIN i’m used to this and expected as much but i’m still feeling bad#just rsvp so i can move on with my life please. stop telling me you’re trying to make it work when we both know you aren’t#i have so much more to say but i’m going to sound crazy even though i knooooow it is homophobia like i Know it#i think there are certain people i will finally go no contact with for good after this#which is a freeing thought but i only invited v few family members to begin with. there’s abt to be no one left lmao#probably for the best#ugh whatever#again i can’t help but feel a certain way when they have done more/traveled further for relatives they hardly know#meanwhile i was forced to spend so much of my life living for these people and for them alone#AAAAAAAA i just want to scream#text
2 notes · View notes
danielnelsen · 2 months
Text
there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn
#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon#although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great#whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time#kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’#or at least triggers that i can plan around#the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one#the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni#and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal#i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months#so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point#obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again#i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time#BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT#‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately#personal#but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12#so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes#wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health#and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder#so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test#i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing#might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained
4 notes · View notes
sickgraymeat · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
the soft and comfy thing is out of the reach 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
17 notes · View notes
dayas · 2 years
Text
I’m so SICK Brooke was worried about Lucas and Peyton being a thing after he cheated on her with her best friend and then they go and kiss AGAIN and hide it from her AGAIN 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
And to juxtapose it with them (Brooke and Lucas) “learning to trust each other again” and all through that time intertwining Lucas and Peyton moments like. Be fr 😭💀 It could have worked better narratively (imo) if they would have separated them but by doing this it felt (to me personally!) that Brooke and Lucas were never that serious to begin with because their growth was always one step forward and three steps back.
#sumn about doing the baddest bitch on the show wrong don’t sit right w/ me#especially with how they never let brooke and lucas stand on their own literally every other episode they had lucas and peyton like…#respectfully brucas never stood a chance it was so unserious#and to have peyton go lucas-jake-pete-jake-lucas like 😭😭😭😭😭😭#NOT TO MENTION: all they literally had to do was tell the truth. i get peyton thought she was going to die but AFTER?#she AND lucas had all the time in the world to tell brooke and neither of them said shit#i can’t blame her for not trusting them because they literally did the same shit twice 💀🤡#anyways it just got on my nerves that brooke and lucas could never have their own moment without peyton coming up and needing lucas#i think they set lucas and peyton up to be soulmates which is fine but they didn’t have to throw brooke through hoops to do it#OR make her and lucas the ‘even though we aren’t technically perfectly suited I still choose you and i keep choosing you’ couple#anyways free brooke PLEASE abeg let peyton continue her development and lucas develop further and THEN bring leyton thx#somebody tell me does brooke actually get her happily ever after and prince charming like she deserves though AT LEAST TELL ME YES OR NO#BLINK TWICE I’LL TAKE ANYTHING#brooke davis#brucas#one tree hill#oth#k watches#now do i agree with brooke being all controlling? no. but i understand why she didn’t want them together at least in the beginning.#plus she said that they went days without meaningful conversations but every conversation he has with peyton is meaningful.#even when brooke was going through it lucas was with peyton#brucas was just so unserious 😭 in theory they made sense but my point is they didn’t have to do her like that to set up leyton endgame#lucas scott#peyton sawyer#to be clear this is NOT anti leyton but it IS pro brooke#k chats
24 notes · View notes
yoohyeontual · 8 months
Text
Round of applause for Alex, I’m going to bed before 1am 👏👏👏👏
#well after I put on my pyjama it will probably be 1am but that’s still great for me jcndjdnd#will I fell asleep before 4 am though ? still have to found out 🤪#please wish me luck im’ exhausted my body is in ruin#also please send someone to beat up my neighbours if they start playing their music before 11am#cause they are capable of doing so and you are all probably aware of how loud they fucking are I said it enough time 😭#i hate them so much#they probably gonna make me up at 11 like all day this week cause idk what they are doing but it’s like they are dropping a bowling ball#every 5 minute in the room above me I’m tired#you probably think i exaggerate but I’m not i never met anyone as loud as they are I can’t even believe it myself#my dad had enough and left a note on their door translated cause they woke up my mom at like 6-7am the same way to the point she yelled and#hit the ceiling which we never done cause we don’t want problems we want peace 😭#but if they still continue to be as loud it’s gonna be a call to the landlord cause the neighbour above them is also tired of the music#and if we call the landlord they will be force to move out cause it’s their 3rd warning since they moved here 😅#and they only moved her in like April ??? pretty sure the previous one moved in April idk but I miss him so much I want him back 💔#anyway Goodnight it’s gonna turn 1 am in 5 minutes love y’all 💓#well fast edit they are doing right what they are doing on the morning so I don’t think I’ll be sleeping for a while unless the fact#that I’m exhausted take control of my body 🤪#I jumped 3 times in 5 minutes 🤪#alex.txt
2 notes · View notes
lesbiansanemi · 1 year
Text
Bleach is bizarre because fundamentally yes it is bad. Concept is brilliant execution upon examination leaves much to be desired. HOWEVER!!!! I don’t actually wanna change anything about it. I see ppl say shit like “bleach would have been better if—“ and like idk maybe you’re right but also no bleach is Bad and it needs to stay Bad and that in fact is what makes it Good it adds to the crunchy early 2000s-esque of it I don’t need to fix Bleach I can love it exactly as it is in fact I can make it worse
10 notes · View notes