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nostalgiabones · 3 years

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The Story of Us // C.H

It feels like SO LONG since I last posted any writing! Here is the second instalment of the Song Series for my last follow milestone (which I announced and then just didn’t write for 2 months😳). I had a moment at 2am where everything fell into place with this fic and I was screaming about it to @calumrose lmao. It’s taken a long time but I’m so happy with how this has turned out and I LOVE the concept of this song so much. I’d love to know what you think!

Song: The Story of Us — Taylor Swift

Word count: 5.1k

Tapping your fingernails on the counter, your eyes search around the busy kitchen for a familiar face – one to ease the anxiety of the first party you’ve attended for longer than you can remember. The kitchen gives you more space to breathe than the garden you fought your way through to get to the house, greeting smiles and quick ‘hellos’ to friends you haven’t seen for a while. There’s one friend in particular you’re expecting to see, yet a part of you doesn’t want to.

“Hey, you made it!”

The voice of a close friend fills your ears over the pounding of the bass from the speaker in the lounge, pumping the whole house (and possibly, the whole street) with music. You can tell Ashton has already taken over the playlist, old classic rock songs being the common theme so far. The counter is already sticky with alcohol. It was one of these parties where you first met Calum – in his true drunk state, he had spilt a drink over your shoes, and spent the remainder of the night trying to make it up to you. He apologised any chance he got, no matter how much you reassured him it was okay and insisted on giving you his number so he could ‘apologise again when he was sober.’ He had done, too, and that’s where it began.

Most Friday nights you’d get a text from him asking you to tag along to whoever’s party was going on, telling you that they weren’t the same without you there. “I need you there as my wingman,” he’d insist, although he had no intention of going home with anyone else. His turn to host rolled around, and that’s when things had changed – the night had ended with you crashing on his spare bed. Everyone else had left and he didn’t see you go, and it wasn’t until Duke had his attention that he had found you – curled up on the bed in his spare room. He thought about waking you up, but decided that he couldn’t bring himself to do it once his gaze fell upon your sleeping face. All he did was remove your shoes, to make you more comfortable, and tuck you in so you didn’t get cold. He had murmured a “good night,” pushing your hair away from your face with a kiss to your forehead.

The next morning, he had found you in his kitchen; Duke keeping you company, curled up in your lap as you wait for Calum to wake up. Waking up in his spare bedroom had been a surprise, yet you didn’t feel entirely uncomfortable. You could’ve left straight away, just leaving a note, but you didn’t. You stayed for breakfast, testing Calum’s cooking skills, and both of you (silently) felt as though you wish it could happen more often.

After that, the texts weren’t just invitations to parties.

They were invitations to get coffee, to take Duke on a hike, to listen to a song he was working on. Any reason he could think of to see you, he would take it, yet he wouldn’t admit to himself why he wanted to see you so often. Your friends knew it; at every party you’d arrive together, dance together, his fingertips would linger on your hips, always touching you somehow. It looked so easy, fun, and free from the outside.

You’re the lucky ones.

Four words both you and Calum had heard time and time again from your friends. They’d see the smiles that grace both yours and his lips at parties when you were together, losing yourselves in the music and each other. Friends would ask where you both stood; what you are, or what you were. Some had called it friends with benefits, most thought you were dating, but whenever you were asked, all you could reply was “I don’t know.” It seemed as though your friends never believed you, but it was the truth — Calum doesn’t like labels.

Calum would take you on unofficial dates; never labelled as such, but something as casual as going to dinner didn’t quite feel the same when he refused to let you pay and you ended up in his bed. Most nights you’d just stay up talking, watching the evening bleed into night as the sun sets and the moon rises. You’d talk about anything from his eclectic taste in music to what the purpose of life is, yet somehow, you never talked about your relationship. Anything but yourselves. The first time he kissed you, it almost felt accidental; his face was just that bit too close to yours for you to not kiss him, his chapped lips brushing yours for a brief moment. His eyes had quickly assessed the expression on your face, wondering whether you were thinking the same thing of what just happened. He had waited a moment before asking “Is it okay if I kiss you again?” and of course… you said yes. You felt something, so did he, but the feelings never translated to words; you never found out what was going on inside his head. And that was the problem.

“I brought you a drink!” You’re snapped out of your thoughts by her voice as she hands you the red cup, filled with whatever had been thrown together in the ice bucket at the other side of the kitchen. You had watched her do the rounds around the room, catching up with everyone else hanging around, and had finally made her way to you. “You know Calum is here, right? Why are you over here all by yourself?”

You hope she didn’t ask him the same question. It’s clear your facial expression gives more away than you intended, and you’re met with a furrowed brow before she continues.

“Did something happen?” She questions, an inquisitive expression on her face as she glances over your shoulder. It’s in that moment you realise he’s there, at the other side of the room, and suddenly it feels like the walls are closing in. She knows Calum well too, but they really are just friends — she can tell something is off with him, too. You allow your eyes to glance to where he’s stood, talking to someone you recognise but whose name you can’t recall. Calum’s eyebrows are furrowed, he looks deep in thought although he’s definitely not paying attention to the conversation that he’s stuck in. “Never mind, don’t answer that. New question, what happened?”

You sigh, taking a sip of the drink she handed you before trying to think of an answer. What did happen? Things have become distant. As much as you enjoy being around Calum, sometimes the uncertainty is too much. He’s a closed book; very difficult to talk to about how he feels, and it leads to you overthinking way too much. Sometimes you just want to sit him down and tell him everything; how even though your relationship is nothing serious, sometimes you wish it could be. You try not to get attached in case he doesn’t think anything of you in the way you wish, sometimes. It’s difficult when he treats you better than any man has before.

“I just haven’t seen him for a while,” You tell her, and it’s not a lie. You haven’t seen him. It doesn’t add up though, not to any of your friends — the two of you would be the life of the party normally. It doesn’t feel the same when you’re at opposite ends of the room.

“Then why aren’t you over there catching up?” She asks, and you know you can’t hide it anymore. She can see it in your eyes. It’s rare that you’re not joined at the hip in any social situation; your friends didn’t know too much about you and Calum in private, yet you know she won’t be the only one to notice the distance between the two of you. They don’t know about the ‘dates’ or about the times where you’ve called him crying after a bad day. They don’t know about the kisses, how he holds you in the dark of the night, or how you know more about him than anyone you’ve ever met. They don’t know about you and Calum.

You pause for a minute before answering her.

“Nothing happened between us,” You sigh, your nails anxiously tapping against the plastic cup in your hand. “That’s the problem.”

You watch as Calum laughs at a joke a friend has made. It’s not his true laugh though – where his eyes crinkle and his nose twitches, where he looks as though his cheeks could burst from how hard he’s smiling. That’s a laugh reserved for you, when you tell him a silly childhood story at 3:00am. There are many parts of Calum which only you get to see. You notice his hair has grown out compared to when you saw him last. The blonde is hardly there now, just specs throughout the ends of the dark curls. Your heart thuds in your chest as you look at him – he’s right there, yet he feels a million miles away, like there’s a wall in the middle of the room preventing you from getting any closer. It’s even further to reach his heart.

Calum is a closed book, but the pages you have read, you remember.

You know his feelings on a lot of things. You know he loves his family more than anything in the world, that he eventually wants to grow old in Australia near the beach, and that his purpose in this lifetime is to make music for people to fall in love with. He cares deeply about those around him, he shows his love through affection, he calls Duke his soulmate. He loves to cook for those close to him and has a list of recipes in his phone of meals he wants to make for his mum. He once spent a whole night telling you how his sister is one of his biggest inspirations. Playing shows and meeting those who support him makes him feel alive. You know a lot about Calum... except for how he feels about you.

“You should talk to him,” She suggests, a gentle touch on your arm to get your attention. It sounds like such a simple thing to do – just talk to him! Just tell him how you feel!However, Calum is so guarded, that the thought of the feeling not being reciprocated looms over you too much to think about doing it. You wouldn’t even know where to begin, months’ worth of emotions and frustrations to work through. It would only work if Calum were willing to talk to. And you’re not sure he is. “You’re not going to have fun until you do, and neither will he. It’s not like you to be so quiet.”

You cross your arms and bite the inside of your lip – two signs that Calum would recognise as anxiety if he looked in your direction.

“Calum doesn’t know how to talk about us.” You retort, a defeated tone to your voice before you even think about talking to him. Although, you have to admit, it wouldn’t be fair to blame to Calum alone. How could a situation be so simple yet so complex at the same time? No-one had ever made you feel as free as he does; so comfortable with the space to be yourself no matter what. He never judged you. Night by night he broke your walls down; learning more each time about your family, about what lead to you to Los Angeles, about your deepest ambitions. Although whenever you went longer than usual without seeing each other, it made you want to be guarded again, unable to shake the anxiety that comes along with sharing your deepest secrets with someone. All of it in turn had led to weeks, nearly a month of no communicating, and you’d be lying if you said there’s nothing you want more than to fall asleep in his arms once more.

“You should try.” She tells you once more, and you know she’s right. “Trust me.”

She excuses herself to go catch up with someone else, and your eyes can’t help but land on Calum at the other side of the room. He looks more comfortable now, but you notice Luke to his right, and realise that’s probably why. There are so many people around, yet you’ve never felt so alone, like an alien in the group. Calum made you feel everything but alone, especially at a party, he’d never leave your side. You never had the chance to feel lonely. Yet in this moment, it’s all you can think about. You wonder if he feels as alone as you do.

Your fingertips fall to the corner of your jacket, nervously fumbling with the material, needing something to ground you whilst trying to think of something other than Calum. You don’t get very long to do so before your phone offers a distraction; a text lighting up the screen, the contact name of ‘Cal’ making your stomach drop.

Meet me upstairs in 5? Spare room at the back.

You can’t help but sigh at the words, your eyes locked on the screen; too scared to look up in case he’s watching your reaction. It feels so impersonal. Why didn’t he just come and talk to you?

Downing the rest of your drink, you head to grab another one, knowing you’ll need it if you’re going to talk to him. What does he want to talk about? What are you meant to say? The questions are a constant dialogue in your mind, occupying the space, leaving room for little else. Glancing around the room, you note that Calum is no longer there, and that he must’ve gone upstairs to wait for you. It feels like you’re floating as you head up the stairs. Not in a happy way, more due to nerves – the adrenaline and anxiety flooding your veins as your fingers grasp the handrail leading to the upper floor of the house. There’s three bedrooms that you can see; one to each side, and one straight ahead at the back of the house. The door is ajar, and you just know Calum is sat on the bed waiting for you.

Your knuckles gently tap the wooden door and you hear Calum clear his throat; your heart races, and when you push the door open, it’s hard to look at him. Having him there, right in front of you, is almost too much to process and it suddenly feels like there’s no air in the room.

Calum’s eyes follow you as you join him at the end of the bed, not too close to him, yet close enough that he could reach out and touch you if he wanted to. No words are said – you stare at your boots, clearing your throat and waiting for Calum to speak first. You’re both too stubborn.

“Why are you so nervous?” Calum breaks the silence – his voice is deeper than you remember. It’s quiet, yet loud enough that you can hear him over the sound of the music and people talking and singing downstairs. His hands rest on either side of him, fingertips pressed into the duvet as he turns to look at you. It makes his heart ache a little that you’re avoiding his gaze, and he knows you’re uncomfortable. “It’s just me.”

Just him.

“You know you make me nervous,” You retort, a sarcastic yet innocent twinge to your voice as you reply. You know he knows that. It’s something the two of you joked about from the beginning – saying it’s the reason you never spoke to him before the shoe incident. He’s a mysterious person, intriguing; a tough person to get through to, especially when you don’t know him. “Especially when we haven’t talked in a while.”

He nods, a smirk on his lips, but there’s nothing about the situation he finds funny. He’s missed you a lot, and now you’re in the same room together, with no choice but to talk – he realises how much distance there is between you both. Silence has never been so loud before. He doesn’t know where to start, or how to tell you how much he’s missed you. He’s not one to be openly expressive with his emotions, he usually does it through gestures or shows of affection – yet he hasn’t had the chance to show that side of him with you.

“What have you been up to?” He asks, trying to make you feel less uneasy around him before he asks anything more cutting. That was one thing you always admired about Calum – his warmth, his ability to put people at ease by holding conversation. He’s a social butterfly, he loves getting to meet people when he’s out. He has his quiet moments at home when he has time to think. He shifts uncomfortably on the bed as he murmurs a quieter, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot.”

The last few words catch you off guard and now it’s your turn to look at him, his eyes cast towards the ground and his jaw clenched. His eyebrows are furrowed, and you know there’s a million thoughts swirling around his head. Is that Calum admitting some feelings towards you?

“I’ve just been working, really. I went home for a little while, like I told you about,” You reply, remembering back to the last night you spent with Calum, just after you booked your tickets home. Although what you don’t tell him is that most of the time, you couldn’t stop thinking about him being there with you. “How was Europe?”

You had plans to go home, Calum had the rest of his year planned out for him – he had been with the band in Europe and the UK for a little while, and you kept up with his travels on Instagram. Calum had been thinking about you too. He knows how badly you want to travel; that being one of the ambitions you had admitted to him, and he wants to fulfil it. With every cold hotel bed that he slept him, he wanted you to keep him warm. Exploring a city wasn’t quite the same on his own.

“It was different,” He answers, and you’re not sure what he means by that. You wait for him to expand on what ‘different’ entails, yet he doesn’t. Different means unsettled; it means that he didn’t get chance to say goodbye to you before he left, and it didn’t sit right with him. He saw you viewing his Instagram stories, he started to post them just to see if you’d keep watching. You did.

And the room is silent all over again. It is for several moments, until you speak up again.

“Why did you ask me to come up here?” You prod, wanting to cut the small talk. As nice as it is to catch up, there’s a weight on your chest – one that won’t be relieved until something gives with Calum. You don’t want to fight, but there’s things that need to be said. “I didn’t have you down as a ‘texting from the same room’ kinda guy. You could’ve just come and talked to me.”

Calum huffs a laugh, a hand lifting to run through the thick curls upon his head. A tell-tale sign of his own anxiety. He doesn’t say anything, though.

“Now who’s the nervous one?” You continue, raising your eyebrows, knowing you have the upper hand. “What, is the thought of talking about your feelings making you uncomfortable? What else is new?”

He sighs, sitting for a moment, thinking of what to respond. Now you’re more comfortable, he knows there’s no holding back. It’s not going to be an easy conversation.

“First of all, I couldn’t just come up and talk to you. There were too many eyes on us, my friends already noticed we weren’t talking. I know yours did too,” He tells you, and you can’t help but roll your eyes. He has so many walls up and trying to break them down is exhausting.

“I miss you holding me as tightly as you’re holding your pride right now,” You murmur, picking at your nails, avoiding his gaze as you speak the words. Now Calum is the one caught off guard. “I want to know how you’re feeling, Calum. I need to know whether this is killing you as much as it’s killing me.”

For a moment Calum thinks he hears your voice catching in his throat and it goes straight to his heart like a dagger, his head snapping up to look at you. He never wanted any of this to happen – he didn’t mean to hurt you. The lack of communication between you both is astounding to him, now that he thinks about it; the lack of boundaries – the line between friendship and more somewhat blurred. The whole thing seems blurry now, and he’s not sure how to provide the clarity he knows you’re looking for.

“I don’t know what to say.” He admits, truly at a loss for words. There’s so much to say, yet so little. Where does he begin? He hears your sharp intake of breath and he knows you’re frustrated – barely getting more than one sentence out of him at a time.

“Calum, I’m so tired of having to pretend like I don’t care about whatever this is. Right now, it feels like we’re competing to see who cares less. I want to know how you feel about me, about us.” It’s like something is awoken in you. If this is the last conversation you have with him, you want to know it all; whether the nights of sleeping next to him meant as much to him as they did to you. “No more holding back.”

Calum clicks his tongue before he nods, inhaling through his nose, placing one hand on the bed so he can put his weight on it to look right at you. “Alright.”

“Tell me,” Your tone is slightly softer now that he’s agreed. As frustrating as it can be at times, you know it’s not an easy thing for Calum. You know he cares. He just needs to show it. “I’m listening.”

“You want to know what I think about when I look at you?” Calum starts, looking right at you – you’re drawn in by his stare. It’s a lot. Taking a deep breath, you prepare for whatever he’s going to say, and nod in a gesture for him to continue. “I think about the night of my party when I found you on the spare bed. How, for some reason, you were comfortable enough to fall asleep at my house, when we weren’t even that close then. How when I tucked you into bed, you just looked so peaceful. You worry too much when you’re awake.”

You felt free around Calum, yet you didn’t at the same time. You could be yourself, he wanted to know everything about you – yet without the labels of a relationship, you held back from showing too much. There were times Calum wanted to kiss you, and when you wanted to kiss him, but you didn’t. Friends don’t just do that. The more he got to know you, the more he wanted to know, but the more he felt like holding back. He realises a lot of things could be solved if you had just talked a little earlier.

“And then I remember the morning after, when I woke up and Duke wasn’t in my bed, so I knew something was different. How I found you sat in my kitchen with him – that you didn’t leave before I woke up. It just felt so normal, I couldn’t shake it off all day, after you left...” He continues, like he’s letting his mind get away with him. He’s barely said anything, yet it’s the most you’ve heard about how he feels about you. “I didn’t want you to leave. I didn’t realise that until you had gone.”

Calum notices the little things. There are countless moments in his mind that he wishes he could live all over again – a lot of the firsts with you. He wishes he would’ve appreciated them more in the moment.

“And then I think about the first time we kissed. I didn’t think it was going to happen then, I don’t think either of us meant for it to. We have a lot of firsts... the first time I saw you cry, after that fight with your parents, when you called me before anyone else. I like that you rely on me, sometimes, it says a lot about how you feel.” He explains, and it’s so much to take in. “I guess I looked for your feelings in your actions, rather than just asking you. Things would probably be different now if we had just communicated with each other.”

You nod, and know it’s not just Calum to blame. Your communication was just as lack lustre as his. Calum read into your body language and actions a lot – he’d notice when you’d hug him tighter just for a moment longer, or when you’d bring him his usual coffee order, after stopping off to get one for yourself. Calum notices the little things, and they mean a lot.

“What about you?” He asks, and you should’ve expected it. “Tell me how you feel.”

Every moment that passes feels like a lifetime; you’re both taking the time to think.

“I liked it better when you were on my side,” You murmur with a small smile, allowing yourself to think of when things were how they used to be. Nothing has really felt the same since. You decide it’s time to lay everything out, to say everything you’ve wanted him to know for the past few months – at least then, if anything, you don’t leave with any regrets. Calum nods at the words, knowing he’d rather go back to the good times too. “I miss sleeping in your bed. I don’t feel like I’ve talked to anyone in so long. I didn’t realise how much we shared with each other until I didn’t speak to you for a while. Now that we’re here talking… it kinda feels like I can breathe again.”

As wonderful as things could be with Calum, it wasn’t always easy. As soon as you left his house, you’d be thinking the time you spent together over and over, questioning the little things; whether he meant to rest his hand on your thigh whilst you watched a movie, or whether he knows exactly how you like your drinks. It consumed you sometimes, leaving your head spinning and heart aching. It hurt him too, sometimes, when he’d drive you home with Duke in the backseat and wait until he saw you make it safely inside. Duke would jump up at the window, as if to wonder where you had gone, and he’d murmur a “I know how you feel, buddy.”

You’re both caught up in your thoughts, and Calum doesn’t have time to say anything else before you set the record straight.

“I don’t want to hold back anymore, Cal. Not if you want it too. I’m either all in, or all out. I don’t want to be stuck in the middle where I don’t know where I stand. I can’t do it again.” Your voice cracks as you speak, and Calum almost breaks on the spot; he doesn’t want to be the cause of your tears. Not ever. He scoots across the bed a little and reaches out; warm, calloused fingers gently picking your own hand up and fitting it in his own. His fingers link with yours and he gently squeezes, trying to get you to look at him.

“Please don’t cry, love,” He murmurs, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. He doesn’t know why you’re emotional, whether it’s because you’re still unsure of where he stands, the relief of talking everything through, or something else.

Commitment isn’t something that comes natural to Calum. He’s passionate about a lot of things; when he cares about something, he gives it his all, but his heart is guarded. It terrifies him to have to be vulnerable, but he knows that if he doesn’t let you in, he’ll regret it forever. In reality, he’s already let you in… He just has to admit to himself.

“I’m all in. You have my word, and my heart. No more going back and forth, okay? I want it all. You’ve got me.” He reassures you, his free hand resting on top of your joint ones, thumb stroking back and forth over the top of your palm. You nod and swallow the lump in your throat, relief coursing through your veins at the reassurance from his words. It feels like everything is lifted from your shoulders, like you can breathe once more.

“You have me, too. I want to be with you, I want you, but we have to learn how to talk to each other,” You tell him, knowing communication is going to be the crucial difference between before and now. It’s not going to work without. “I know it’s not easy, but we have to try.”

Calum moves closer and almost pulls you into his lap, one arm going around your shoulders to pull you close to him. You’re flooded with warmth and the familiar scent of a combination of his washing powder and his cologne, one that still lingers on your bedsheets months after he last slept there, one that you’ve missed. One that is just simply Calum. You bury your face against his neck and his free hand lands on your thigh, a comforting gesture; he just wants to be as close as possible.

His hand moves from your thigh and his fingertips gently take your chin, tilting your face so you’re looking right at him. His pointer finger traces your cheekbone, down your cheek, under your bottom lip as he breathes you in.

“No more holding back,” He murmurs, his chapped lips brushing yours, a feeling of relief crashing over the two of you and your mouths get acquainted once more. It’s been too long, Calum decides, as he pulls back for a moment and his lips are right back on yours again. It’s mere seconds before he’s slipping his tongue into your mouth and it’s a sensation you’ve missed; he tastes of alcohol as he kisses you and you commit the feeling to memory. The tips of your noses nudge together as the kiss goes on and you never want it to end; it’s the start of a new era, a new beginning to your relationship now that you can call it that. The kiss is urgent and desperate, and it says everything unspoken – there’s a long way to go, but it feels like a good start. “Can I take you home?”

“Please.”

Next chapter.

***

If you’ve made it this far — thank you so so much for reading! I’d love to know what you think, and if you have any requests for songs I could write about — please let me know! 🥰

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#ahhh I forgot the anxiety of posting LMAO I really love this concept so I hope people like it 🥺🥰#5sos au #boyfriend!5sos #boyfriend calum hood #5sos blurbs #calum hood blurbs #5sos fic #boyfriend 5sos fic #boyfriend calum fic #domestic!5sos #calum hood #calum hood x reader #songseries #mywriting

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kidney9-9 · 3 years

Text

November Bet

@hollandlover19 asked:

Can you write something where peter is dating the reader and she’s an avenger with similar powers to Wanda meaning she can read his mind and for the past two weeks peter has been horny as fuck and it’s driving him nuts cus he made a bet with Sam and Bucky to see who could survive the longest during no nut November so he’s trying to resist the urge to jack off but the only thing that will calm him down is y/n but she had to go on an emergency mission and won’t be back till later so he just lays in his room crying cuz everything hurts sorry if this is too specific you don’t have to write it if you don’t want to 🖤

Hey there hun! Hope you enjoy! Thank you for sending this in. Just a note: I have no idea how boners feel after a certain amount of time, but I’m assuming it’s really painful since it’s a muscle straining itself?? (i think lmao) But this was interesting to write since I usually put more humor in my writing, and this one turned out sort of sad! Everyone is over the legal age in this piece.

Masterlist is linked in my bio, tags in reblog.

Peter Parker x Reader [Angst with sort of happy ending] Warnings: boner, pain and swearing Word Count: 1.6k

Peter regretted the bet so much now.

It happened back on the 31st of October, when everyone was resting about, eating junk food and candy. Sam and Bucky had been teasing Peter for almost two weeks now after catching you and Peter getting a bit steamy in one of the weaponry rooms, and he wanted pay back. Peter thought he could control himself for a month because obviously he was able to do it before he reached puberty, so it should be fine! But fuck, did he regret it now, making a bet with Sam and Bucky to see who could survive the longest following the No Nut November challenge.

Day one was normal, he had so much confidence. He only let himself kiss your cheek though, and glance over to you when you would dress during the morning.

But now, two weeks in, he couldn’t fucking handle it. You were too hot. Tonight, was a gala event for Pepper and Tony starting a charity for children with heart problems which would start funding research into heart disease, and funding families who couldn’t afford treatments. You were wrapped in a silky flowing dress that Peter wanted to drool over. The small peaks he’d see over you twirling around, dancing to the classical music, and the fabric would outline your ass perfectly. Fuck, it was too much for him.

He had too many thoughts about it though. He wanted to reach out and squeeze you, spank you, trace every part of your body with his tongue. He wanted to devour you tonight; he wanted to fuck you out of your mind only to bring you back to another orgasm after the last.

Yes, the boner was showing very much.

It didn’t help when you’d look over to him worriedly, and he knew you could hear every single thought of his. It was your power, but you called it a curse. You spoke to him a few days before about how you heard his pleas to make love to you once again, but you reminded him of the bet and what he would have to do if he lost.

The loser had to streak and run across the outdoor gardens of the Compound at any time the winner felt like it; only once though. Peter thought about losing constantly, wishing he could lose, but he knew he shouldn’t. He couldn’t let Bucky and Sam win like that, after them teasing him for so long. It would be humiliating, sure, Peter didn’t care much about that. But he cared about it humiliating you as well, he didn’t want them to tease you about it too.

“Baby, want to leave?” You mumbled to Peter, causing him to flinch out of his trance. Peter gazed down at your body for a moment, and cleared his throat, flushing immensely while he looked away. Your curves… he was so in love with everything about you.

“Mm, yeah sorry about this.” Peter signaled down to his boner and he could just imagine how some people had already saw it and started speaking about him, but he just needed to leave. You nodded sympathetically back to him, reaching out and grasping his shoulder to comfort him.

He shrugged your hand off after a shiver went through his body, breathing heavily as another wave of lust flushed through him, “I’m sorry. I- I don’t mean to, it’s just…” He trailed off, glancing back up to your face and seeing you nodding understandably back to him.

“I know, I hear it too. Text Tony and Pepper in an hour and tell them something came up. They’ll be okay with it.” You responded, almost wanting to stay behind to talk with the two more. They were one of the funniest but loveliest couples you met. You felt close to them, almost as if they had a parental authority over you.

“I will, thank you.” Peter whispered back, gulping nervously as he tried to adjust his forming hard on. He just needed to go take a cold shower as soon as possible, and he already started thinking of strange things.

Deformed candles. Cheetos in beans on someone’s head. Evil cartoon characters. A dictionary with misspelled words.

You giggled, shaking your head at the things he comes up with in his thinking. You walked out of the ballroom with him, distancing yourself and opting to take an uber home instead, so he didn’t feel trapped. You worried about him during this month, realizing how bad it would feel to not nut for a guy.

You wished you could help him, but he wanted to keep the bet going.

When you got back to the Compound, your alarm instantly went off and your eyes widened, realizing you had to leave now. It was an emergency mission, you quickly read through the report, seeing that one of your contacts was revealed and gave up some information that needed to stay private. You rushed as fast as you can, barely sending a text to Peter who just got back to the Compound, saying you needed to leave.

Peter finally opened the text when he fell back on his bed, still struggling. He groaned, feeling his boner build up again, just imagining you out in the field, looking so sweaty and ready for anything. “Fuck…” He whimpered, quickly sitting up. He was worried for you being out there by yourself, but he knew he shouldn’t doubt your abilities. At the same time, he was trying to stop his feelings, because it just furthered his pain.

He cupped his boner, stumbling up and thinking to himself, how long has it been now? He couldn’t help it, thinking about sex. Fuck, it was crazy he wanted to just touch you again, how much he missed touching you was driving him insane. He couldn’t masturbate, he would lose the bet.

The winner also had the benefit of getting the title, “Greatest Person of the Year”, which included perks of people not teasing him and you, and many more. It would be great to have Bucky and Sam off your backs.

He set his phone down while he turned the shower on cold, needing to get in there as soon as possible. Maybe it would work now, but he couldn’t tell if it was too late to help. He still needed you by his side. Whether it was sexual or not, he loved you and needed to be by you.

“Ouch – oh shit.” He whined, coughing as the cold water hit his bare back. He stripped himself as quick as possible, now realizing he kept his socks on. He criticized himself, why’d you leave your socks on? Why are you doing this now?

The shower didn’t help at all. Once his body got used to the temperature, he got flashes of visions of you, from missing you. He groaned out of anger at himself for doing it, and he had to stop himself from palming his boner.

He got out of the shower, rushing to his phone and dialing your mission phone, that was connected to the earpiece you wore. When it connected, he could hear you grunting as you punched one of the people that attacked you.

“P-Peter? What’s up?” You stuttered, breathing heavily as you ran down to the other room, trying to get away for a few seconds to just get your mind together to focus.

“Oh shit- I’m sorry!” Peter rambled, forgetting you were busy. He hit his head and groaned to himself, hearing you on the other side of the phone.

Stop thinking like that idiot! He reminded himself, and you responded to him after a moment of shuffling around in the corner. “It’s okay! Is everything good? You alright, babe?” You whispered, glancing around and picking up one of the objects in the room with one of your powers, focusing it by the doorway to protect yourself.

“Yeah…uh, I’ll get you go. Please be safe. I love you.” Peter sighed out, scratching his hair as he sat by the edge of the bed, hoping you were okay.

You quickly responded to him, “Love you. I’ll be back in a few hours I think, maybe 12 hours tops?” You randomly guessed the time, knowing there was a lot to do. You hung up when you heard someone’s footsteps.

Peter gazed down at his boner, now fully erect and he frowned. The blood hurt so much in his cock; he couldn’t do anything though. He laid back on the bed, his head on his pillow, still naked, knowing any clothing would hurt to put on.

He tried to focus his thinking on something else again, anything. It barely helped, and he ended up squeezing his eyes shut as the pain rumbled through his body, the soreness was too much. He felt a few tears form and start to leak down his face, and he had to remind himself everything would be okay soon.

He rolled over, doing breathing techniques, trying to calm down. The tears wouldn’t stop coming though and he bit his lip, holding back his cries. It must have been ten or twenty minutes later when he pushed the pillow over his head, now having a headache from crying and the pain.

He held the pillow close, trying to block any light from the devices in the room, crying himself to sleep as the pain worsened.

When you got back, you quickly paced over to the room, needing to check Peter. You could tell he was struggling when he spoke to you and you pouted when you opened the door, seeing him laying on the bed. It was upsetting to see him with dried tear stains on the pillows, and you leaned down, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek.

His boner was gone now, but you could tell he was probably in pain still. You laid down next to him, holding his arm softly, just hoping this dumb bet would be over soon so he wouldn’t struggle like that again.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker fanfiction #avengers x reader #avengers fanfiction #thank you for sending this in!#love y'all!#kidney9-9

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lilikags · 3 years

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ೃ‧₊› a b o u t t h i s p o s t° ➮ Pairing: Miya Atsumu x reader ➮ Oneshot ➮ Tags: fluff ➮ Word Count: 2182

A/N: This is for @serowotonin! [for Luna’s Valentines Day collab] Ik I said I was doing Atsumu bc “I was bored” but I always say “imagine being bored” and truly, I haven’t been bored for so long. I forgot that this was for the collab for a fat moment then when you saw the preview I was like, “Wait- no- it’s a surprise.”

Premise: You and Atsumu are cleaning out the apartment, when you find a few letters you thought you would never see again…

“Oi, (y/n), look at what I found,” you heard Atsumu say, leaning over the contents of a drawer he had been sifting through.

“What?” you walked over to see what he had found. The two of you were cleaning out the apartment, as you were going to be moving out soon. Atsumu had a habit of keeping things that connected him to an important memory of his, unless he wanted to forget it- and this was one of them. You didn’t know he kept them- actually, it did make sense of him to, but you had simply forgotten about it and you somehow expected the same for him. You looked down to see what he had in his hands, and your face literally went emotionless as you saw the letter in his hands.

You really didn’t mind the letters, for the most part. Actually, they held dear to you. However, that first one… you were grateful for it, but you also remembered just how bad you wanted to buy a grave space and bury it for eternity back then...

Miya Atsumu.

This was a dare. This is a love letter. For Valentines. Happy valentines day. If you have extra chocolate, send me some.

Sincerest thanks, (y/n).

Atsumu usually threw away the letters he received every Valentines. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude; it was just that there were too many letters for him to read (and reply to), so he usually just threw them out. Osamu often teased him for this; he boasted that he at least read his letters.

“Oi, ‘Samu, look at this one,” Atsumu called out to his brother.

“What?” Osamu looked at him, with a face of disbelief. “Yer actually lookin’ at them?”

“Nah, not really, but this one’s hilarious,” Atsumu laughed.

“Okay, not funny, keep yer lame humor to yourself.”

----------------

“(y/n), truth or dare,” (b/f/n) asked.

You smiled, “Dare.”

“Hmmm… alright, send a love letter to Miya Atsumu- it has to be at least one line long.”

“I’m- okay then.”

You brought out a piece of paper, wrote the first things that came to mind, and once you reached one line, you stopped. You folded the paper and grabbed whatever envelope you could find and sealed it with tape. The dare required actually giving the letter, much to your dismay, but it wasn’t like you could back down from a dare. After all, it was (b/f/n), and the nonstop teasing would definitely occur if you failed to complete the dare.

Dearest (y/n),

I did in fact receive your rather interesting letter, and I have decided to bring you some chocolate as you wished. I wish you, as well, a very happy valentine’s day this year.

Most sincerely, Atsumu.

Atsumu was intrigued enough to write a reply; in fact, he decided to write in the most formal way possible. He knew from the letter that you were either a tsundere or someone who was actually dared to do so, and decided that it would be fun entertainment for the both of you.

When you received the letter, you were surprised to see a reply. It was known he didn’t send out replies, yet you had received one. As you read it, you felt a need to reply; you’d simply feel bad if you didn’t. However, what was there to talk about? How the chocolates were good? He had stuck it on your first period desk, out in the open. And you also sincerely wondered what was with the overly formal tone. You do remember writing the most shitty letter you’ve ever written to him, and that volleyball-obsessed dude just writes something formal to you? Baffles the mind.

Well, then, if he was going to reply, you would too.

Miya Atsumu,

Thanks for the chocolate- your fans make pretty good chocolate, I have to say. Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, ‘cause all ya focus on is just volleyball. Anyways, what was with the overly formal tone- ya like me or somethin’? Would be funny if ya did and I turned ya down. XD

(y/n)

You never really thought of Miya Atsumu, but this really sparked your interest. It was amusing, his reactions. It was definitely something you didn’t expect- you actually didn’t expect a reply at all. The reply you received was definitely out of the ordinary as well, one you never thought a hotshot volleyball player would write. It seemed he was interested in you in some ways- and you as well.

(y/n),

Pfffft, you think I might like ya? I just thought yer letter was interestin’, that’s all. Ya really think I can’t make chocolate? Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, I’ll show you. I make you chocolate myself and we’ll see how it tastes. Just you watch, I’ll make ya say I make the best chocolate ever!

Atsumu.

You saw that in your shoe locker the next morning- and everyone saw it. You were beginning to regret actually replying to him, but there was no backing out now. (b/f/n) really hit the goal here, for her. People were probably talking about it. It’s always some event that involves romance that catches everyone’s eye. And since it was just after valentine’s, everyone would automatically assume it was a love letter. In reality, it was simply a little bit of playful banter.

You wondered if people actually knew who it was. You hoped not; it would gather way too much attention for your liking. You’d have an entire fanclub after you, and it was definitely (b/f/n)’s fault that you got into this entire mess. You had absolutely no idea if anyone saw him slip that into your shoe locker, since it had probably been there for a good hour or so before you and most of the other students got there. In any case, there was nothing you could do about people knowing things they already know, so you headed onto class. It was exam week, and you sighed; it would be a long day.

When you arrived at homeroom, you were not-so-pleasantly surprised with what you found at your desk. You just wanted a quiet day; go to school, take the tests, and get out so you could relax at home. But no, you just had to see this and you knew there was a thing called rumors you had to deal with. Well, you could just be like “whatever” and not care, but you definitely knew who’d be after you, for real. Atsumu’s fanbase was quite scary, and definitely large- a group of people one would regret messing with.

“Ugh- what am I going to do with this chocolate now, he gave me a lot yesterday…”

“(y/n)! Oiiii, you got chocolate?! From who from who-”

“(b/f/n), if you say a word, you are going to be dead to me.”

“...” she looked away, but then turned to you again and whispered in your ear. “So, Miya Atsumu, who has a fanbase, likes you.”

“I’m- no-”

“But what I’m seeing says otherwise?”

“Ugh, you’re coming to my house and you are going to pay for that dare.”

“Oh ho ho, seems like I started something…” “Bet you did.”

Pisshead Atsumu

LMAO bet ya didn’t make the chocolate, yer terrible at lying <///3 seen this chocolate before. And like wtf you put a box of chocolate on my desk with YOUR NAME on it. Ya know that people will do a thing called assuming things, right? Smh, think before you act. Anyways, I’m counting on ya to fix up this mess.

(y/n)

When you finished class, the first thing you did was write the note. You were absolutely paranoid with this mess, and you were going to have Atsumu fix it. Yes, you did technically initiate contact first, but that was (b/f/n)’s fault and this could’ve avoided this if he hadn’t pulled off a whole stunt.

It was already around 6 when he saw the note. A small smirk filled his expression, he was so sure that he would be able to get a good reaction out of (y/n). It was written on scrap paper, the back of a phys. ed worksheet. You wrote it in a rush, very obviously. That wasn’t really what caught his attention though; he was puzzled as to how he would fix this. Tell his fans to fuck off? Osamu would tease him for eternity.

“Oi, what’cha starin’ at?” he heard Osamu nag. “Mom’s waitin’ for us for dinner.”

“Hey, ‘Samu… ya know how to fix this?”

“... ARE YOU AN IDIOT- YOU ARE AN IDIOT.”

“I AM NOT! YOU ARE THE IDIOT HERE!”

“SAYS THE ONE WHO GOT INTO A MESS LIKE THIS!”

“Oi, ya shouldn’t be fightin’ at this hour,” the two heard Kita say, as he gave them a certain look. “... ‘m sorry…” the twins apologized.

Even after a fulfilling dinner made by their mother and a nice, hot shower, Atsumu still couldn’t think of a solution. Osamu almost snitched on him, but he decided that there was enough on their mom’s plate of problems at the moment.

“What if ya said you were dating?” Osamu offered.

“HAH?! ARE YA INSANE?!” Atsumu yelled at him.

“That would explain what happened at valentine’s.”

“But there’s nothin’ between us-”

“Yer fanclub wouldn’t really believe anythin’ else.”

“Yeah…”

(y/n),

Can we meet when practice ends at 6 on Thursday?

M. Atsumu.

“... I’m- Is he just going to apologize then run away? Tch.” you sighed. You had the idea that Miya Atsumu was overconfident and carefree, but not to this extent. The least he could do was fix this- he had power over his fandom and what people said about him, unlike you. You had to go, it wasn’t like you really had much of a choice if you wanted to talk it out and fix it.

“Hey, (y/n) are you and Atsumu dating?” one of your classmates asked, and a bunch of others hovered around the table, waiting to hear a response. (b/f/n) had told you rumors had spread around the entire school; you figured that would’ve happened. Any topic related to the twins spread like wildfire, especially the blonde-haired one.

“... Can you not try to pry into my private life?” you replied, which you instantly realized was exactly a wrong answer to give. This implied that you were in fact dating Atsumu secretly, and you just made your life 10x worse. You figured you should just tell everyone what had happened, then the blame would be on (b/f/n)- it should preferably be placed on Atsumu, since he started it, really.

When you met him at 6pm, you expected no contribution from him. Instead, you were met with a solid plan for something you weren’t really happy about, but it seemed the easiest to convince the public of a story they put out.

“(y/n)... let’s tell them that we’re dating.”

“Hmm… well, they already think that…”

“I’m sorry… I wasn’t thinking…” “It’s fine. All we can do is move forward, I guess.”

“Yeah… ‘Samu gave me this solution; it’s all I have, I’m sorry if it’s-”

“It’s fine. Let’s go through with it. Just protect me from the crazy fangirls; that’s all I want.”

“Ya.”

“And we’ll need to put together a coherent story; what’s yer number?”

“Ahaha, seriously, maybe (b/f/n)’s a prophet. She told me that she was aiming for somethin’ to happen between us,” you commented, remembering what happened years and years ago.

“Ya were just so unnecessarily worried about the fangirls,” Atsumu mentioned.

“Oi! Yer fangirls were hella scary back then…”

That night, you stayed up coming up with a story, which ended with the two of you breaking up so that you could go on your separate ways again. However, the story didn’t last too long, as (b/f/n)’s parent’s investigations went a little too far and spread the truth a little too much. (b/f/n) is one thing, but you had almost forgotten her parents were another, seriously. They’d been a little busy over the last few years, thus the lack of investigations of local drama, but they had been doing so for decades, what could you expect from them?

Nothing was Atsumu’s fault to the fanclub, unless he seriously convinced them that it was. You were guilty until proven innocent. Unbeknownst to you until after, he gave them a whole (to be honest, not-so-great) speech on how he kind of went too far with the joke, but also placed the blame on everyone else for assuming things. People were absolutely ridiculous; their ideas and their insane imagination should learn that the left side of the brain exists too.

“Funny how we met again after college, after all that time.”

“Ya… a real wonder”

Another A/N: OMG THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR ‘TSUMU FORGIVE ME IF I WROTE HIM LIKE, WRONG IN THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

『••✎••』 Extra Info * ˚ ✦ ⇢ If you would like to read some of my other works, find them here! * ˚ ✦ ⇢ Taglist: @serowotonin @luna-la-ley // send me an ask if you would like to be added!

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu oneshots #haikyuu imagines #miya atsumu #atsumu x you #atsumu imagines #atsumu x reader #atsumu x y/n #atsumu fluff #atsumu oneshot #atsumu fic #hq x reader #hq imagines #hq x you #hq love letters

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ivyglow · 4 years

Text

Thinking ‘bout you | Mat Barzal NYI

A/n: Hey, guys! This request was from the song prompt list that @with-the-words-all-wrong tagged me, you can check it on her profile <3. I’m sorry I took too long, but I decided to write a whole ass piece and here it is (and guess what? I hated it lmao).

- Btw if someone wants to proof read my pieces it would be great, just dm me if you’re interested!

Word count: 3.3k

Requested prompt: 10 “Can I see you again and not feel bad about it” & 13 “I liked when you cared about me too”

Summary: Y/n and Mat met through mutual friends and it’s not long before they start hooking up. She’s has a wild spirit, he’s looking for someone to settle down. Is it possible to meet the right person at the wrong time?

Flashbacks in Italic!

Things started slowly but surely people knew it was coming. Since the first time y/n was introduced to Mat’s circle of friends, everyone noticed the way his eyes sparkled with interest and the way she seemed to reciprocate it. They were both young, reckless and any slight chance of love or affection sounded good to Barzal at that time. He was living on his own, and sure most of his time was at practice or out with his friends, but the home-alone time made him think about some things such as settling or at least going for something more serious than the eventual hookups that he would have.

Y/n was funny and beautiful. God, was she beautiful.

The first thing he noticed about her was the eyes. On that low lighted bar, her eyes were glowing green in contrast with her skin. She was wearing jeans and sneakers, outstanding everyone. She was so simple, and maybe that was the thing that drew him towards her. The feeling of not caring about what people would think, not being open to doing everything as expected but doing it as you wanted to.

And maybe, just maybe, it was this exact feeling that made y/n choose Mathew.

Everyone in her family was expecting her to get into a serious relationship as soon as she landed in New York, but as her friend, Kayla would say “New York it’s not the place to find a lover”, and she was well aware of being on the age of glory. Her early twenties and the freedom of living on her own, paying her own bills something she dreamed of since she turned fourteen.

She wanted to have fun and Mathew Barzal was definitely a funny guy.

They went to many friends’ meetings before finally taking a step on the obvious sexual tension. That did not mean it was time enough to become best friends, it was time enough to become mutuals. He knew some things about her and she knew some about him. He knew, for example, that she hated when people tried to make decisions for her, she liked independence in every way and damn was y/n mad when their friends tried to pair her with Mat before she could make her mind about it.

The thing she knew about him was that he liked her and she knew it because he was an obvious guy or at least he was obvious when it came to her. Not in the sweet romantic way, but in a cute and affectionate way.

Or at least that’s what she tried to remember while things started to escalate quickly with movie nights and nights in, or morning sex. They were getting attached, but it wasn’t what y/n planned at all and she knew she had a short amount of time before she would get attached herself.

It was a Friday night, she had an average day at work and the guys were celebrating friendship, just the possibility of having their small and closed group whenever they needed. These kinds of celebrations started with Kayla, she was the one always wondering and getting the best of life, pulling her focus towards the small details of life that usually made it better. Her biggest fear was to die without enjoying life, y/n was always down for her ideas and shared a fear that looked a lot like Kayla’s.

They were chilling in Tito’s balcony, drinks in hand, enjoying the feeling of the cold New York air hitting their faces and the noises of the city that never sleeps being drowned by the many floors below. Kayla was telling one of her stories while Mat, Joe, Katy, and Isabela listened carefully. Tito was sitting by them but seemed lost on his own little world, the reason why y/n would sometimes call him ‘dreamy boy’. A random song was playing low on the speakers, but everyone heard when y/n finally arrived.

“Why you always late?” Joe asked before swinging the rest of his beer in a long sip.

“I’m never late…” she faked confusion before going for the wine bottle. “You guys just always early.”

Mat chuckled and Kayla rolled her eyes slightly, he liked her so much he even found her shitty jokes funny. Or maybe it was just Mathew, he usually was the first one to laugh, anything was fun to him, almost like he didn’t curse or lost his mind every 5 minutes on the ice.

“That one is old, y/n” Tito finally left his dreamy thoughts and provoked his friend. He loved to joke around with y/n, it was like she had an answer for everything and she also happened to be a great listener whenever he needed a sincere opinion that wasn’t from Barzal.

“You’re getting old too and I’m not saying that in your face...and Mathew laughed, I would say my jokes are aging well” y/n walked over greeting everyone properly. Barzal was the last one and kiss she left too close to his mouth wasn’t unnoticed by Anthony.

“Wanna sit with me?” He asked still holding her by the hand. All the available surfaces to sit already occupied.

“You mean to say ‘sit on you’?!”

Isabela that was sitting closer to Mat laughed out loud, “You guys are so obvious…”

“Are you drunk?” y/n replied back trying to sound nonchalant and sitting on Mat’s tights.

His hands found its way on her waist and she was a bit impressed at how comfortable it felt to be that close. He was wearing his cargo pants and a grey sweatshirt, hair an aesthetic mess at the top of his head and lips glowing from his beer.

It was short before Kayla went back to her story and y/n start sipping her wine.

Mat’s hand would travel up and down her waistline under the soft blouse she was wearing and eventually her left hand found his neck hair. It seemed natural, almost as if the exchange of physical affection were something they did every day, and considering their friends were not chirping or making a huge deal out of the situation it seemed even more common.

“Are you driving home?” y/n asked when Mat finished his second beer bottle and she was still on her first wine glass.

He turned to look at her, a slightly confused and curious frown on his face.

“You’re drinking...I know you handle your alcohol just fine, but drink and drive it’s no good” she explains being more detailed than usual.

Barzal chuckles before pressing a kiss in her cheekbone, “You look cute when you’re worried.”

“It’s not-” she starts but the look on his face says it all, he already knew. He had her figured out so easily sometimes it was scary. “I just wanna sleep in peace knowing all my friends are fine… I care about you.”

“You wouldn’t have this problem if you sleep with me tonight.”

And indeed, that was the first night they spent together and it was far to be the last.

Usually, she would be gonna by the sunrise, but this time y/n was exhausted with work and school and having to deal with her family constantly asking about plans they had for her, besides the physical weariness of a whole sex night with Mat. That morning she woke up not to a silent house, but to a shirtless Mat cooking breakfast while blasting her playlist of favorite songs.

“Normally I woke up without feeling like it, but Frank Ocean is playing and you’re doing pancakes...although I’m not really sure about how the food is going to turn out” y/n walked in the kitchen catching Mathew’s attention.

“Good morning to you too” he mocked her, glancing at his oversized shirt that hung her body in a baggy way but still so beautiful.

“You need help there?” she asked going to the water bottle sitting on the counter.

“This is the last pancake, everything’s ready” he walked away from the stove just to wrap one arm around y/n’s middle.

She thought to herself that Mat was the whole package, he knew her so well, he even put effort into cooking in the mornings they spent together -which were few, but still- and he was a great listener, although he liked to talk just as much. He was funny and hot, and he could do both so easily it was painful sometimes. But instead of voicing her thoughts, she kept to herself and left their silence to hug their bodies together. His face resting on the crook of her neck and her hands brushing his long locks.

As soon as the song switched to Lost, y/n’s lips left a loud gasp. Mat would be surprised or confused, but it wasn’t his first time seeing her enjoy her favorites Frank Ocean songs, some he knew the entire lyrics. It was funny to see her wildly dancing and singing as if the world would end anytime soon. And it was those same eyes that made him leave breakfast for good and join her private show. They spent almost thirty minutes stuck on the dance-sing-perform-y/n’s-favorites.

These were the moments where they would be more friends than ever. Sharing the intimacy of the voice of each other and the awkward dance moves, getting to know the songs’ preference, and almost getting a noisy complaint by the neighbors.

And so when Mat started to miss her in the mornings and wish her by his side at night he realized that the intimacy of the moments they spent together could fit as a relationship intimacy as well. Y/n was so easy to be around and she would always have her own way of seeing random everyday things. She liked to go straight to the point too, she hated to lie and hated to left people read one thing when she was trying to say another. That’s why when they started to hookup she told Mathew she wasn’t looking for a lover, she liked him for sure, but being in the years of glory and living in New York wasn’t something she wanted to leave for a relationship.

After almost four months going on like they used to, Mat thought maybe y/n changed her mind. Maybe she liked him as much as he liked her.

And she was point-blank when Barzal brought the subject, “I like you a lot, but I love my freedom.” She didn’t try to put much into it, telling him about her problems would only make him built hope, and she knew that maybe by the time she was fine with the idea of a serious relationship she could be in love with someone else or even he could be. Y/n liked Mathew indeed and that’s why she left him.

Keep it up would only hurt him.

And so they said their goodbyes without a huge fight, but the silence still hurt just as much.

Mat shifted his focus to the season that was about to start, the travel around and games non-stop would take his mind away from how complicated feelings could be sometimes. Y/n, on the other hand, dived into work and school, however, still gets herself wondering about Barzal and how things would turn out if she said yes to his proposition. She missed him in the simple tasks of the day and had to constantly remind that they were not texting each other anymore and no, he definitely did not want to know about the funny dog that ran to her at the park.

Nevertheless, they had the same group of friends and when the season ended and so did midterms, it was crystal clear that they would need to face each other again.

It was a Friday night, just like the first time they spent the night together, and she had an awful day at work, still, Kayle was able to drag her to Tito’s apartment where the small group where reunited. This time it was not one of her best friend random celebrations, it was actually because they spent too long without meeting.

When they finally reached Anthony’s floor y/n still had no idea how she would talk with Mat. She was nervous. They went from 2 a.m calls to zero communication and the lack of it was the reason why she had no idea how he was feeling, if he was doing fine, if he hated her, if he was ok with keeping the friendship etc.

Everyone was in the living room surrounded by bottles and snacks while a random pop song was playing on the tv. He was the first face she searched for but was nowhere to be found, and so y/n settled for greeting each of her friends with a warm and tight hug.

Except for Tito, he was the last one on the sofa line, “where’s my wine, Beau?”

“Kitchen counter” he rolled his eyes playfully.

“Alright, now I can give you a hug” y/n joked before lowering herself and draping her arms around Anthony’s shoulders.

“Bring me another water bottle too, please” Joe requested when she was making her way towards the other room.

The hardwood floor felt cold against her feet and she enjoyed the feeling, trying to switch her thoughts to something other than why Mathew wasn’t there. But before she was able to, she reached the kitchen and there he was sitting on the stool while working in one of his drinks.

It was like the cold from her feet reached her whole body suddenly and she was nervous again.

Mathew made y/n nervous.

It was new to her and she was torn between trying to figure out more about the unknown feeling or ignoring it by shoving it down her pocket.

“Hey!” she tried to sound cheerful, but only got a nod as the response.

Y/n couldn’t read him with his eyes away from her, but he seemed a little out of tune. His hair the usual aesthetic mess at the top of his head and his so friendly white sweatshirt.

She walked over to the freezer reaching the water bottle Joe asked for and then going for the glasses and pouring her so loved wine.

“For a moment when I walked in and didn’t saw my wine at the coffee table, I thought Tito had forgotten about me” her remark did not bother Mathew that kept working with the lemon and vodka in front of him. The pang on her heart now so much vivid. Maybe he hated her indeed, maybe he was heartbroken after everything they went through. And she couldn’t help but finally let some kind of guilty sink at the top of her stomach. “Can I see you again and not feel bad about it?”

The thirty seconds of silence were filled with Mat’s breath since y/n was holding hers.

“What do you mean?” Mat sounded genuinely confused.

“I mean you ignoring me...I never intended to hurt you, you know?”

“I’m sorry. I’m not ignoring you, I’m just out of the area today, my sleep schedule is all fucked up and I’ve been a little grumpy lately, there’s nothing to do with you.”

She wanted to ask how he was doing, if he were hurt when things didn’t go as planned, she even wished to ask about hockey so he would smile bright and big and keep talking for the next two hours. But instead, she took the wine glass and water bottle, making her away to the living room while holding her heart in her hands too.

Joe started a conversation about vacation and so it was the main topic for two hours straight, and even though Mat knew a lot about the subject he kept his mouth shut, mainly just listening to everyone while sipping his drink. It was unusual considering Barzal was usually the one who couldn’t shut up, you would always hear him on the friends’ get-together either his loud voice or his laugh.

Y/n found herself looking at Mat right across her, but she was still able to miss him, cause it didn’t felt like he was there. He was far away in all meanings.

“There’s something I can do to help?” y/n asked while walking to sit beside Mat in the bed they were, certainly, going to share that night, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to make you feel better, I guess you know by now that it wasn’t your fault.”

Mat was moping since he got home, the islanders had lost and the cherry to the cake was the fact that they lost a home game, and y/n was by his side time enough to know that he absolutely hated to lose this way, but she wasn’t time enough to know how she was supposed to deal with it. She wasn’t in the mood for sex and he sure wasn’t too, however she couldn’t stand the pouty lips and the moody Mat, it gave her heart a little pain.

“You don’t need to say anything” he mumbled underneath the covers.

“But I want to. I care about you, Mathew.” she insisted. “What can I do?”

Mat had this soft smile in the corner of his lips watching y/n sitting by his side and looking at him as if he was the most important thing to her at that moment. ‘I care about you’ wasn’t an ‘I love you’, but it meant something deep and they both knew it.

“You can just lay with me.” He gave up scooting to the side and opening his arms for her to lay on top of him. “And stay the night.”

“I wasn’t planning on going anywhere,” y/n’s lips found Mat’s in a slow and sweet kiss that last only some seconds before her face was on the crook of his neck.

Everyone was too caught up on the conversation to notice y/n walk to the balcony and sit in one of the big cold chairs, everyone except Mat and it didn’t take long for him to grab a blanket and follow. He knew she was barefoot and she usually was cold at night. Mat knew a lot of things he never thought he would when they first started going out. Yes, he was looking for a lover, and yes he wished with all his willpower to be y/n, but she left him dazed, living each day by its time - as it’s supposed to be -. Maybe that was the reason why in the middle of it all he didn’t stop too much to think about how things were turning in an unknown road...and when he did, it took them to the mess they were living.

Barzal said nothing as he dropped the blanket around y/n’s body and lowered himself to sit by her side.

“Thank you,” she mumbled a bit dizzy.

“No need to thank me, I just still care about you, that’s all.” His voice was low but firm. He didn’t sound spiteful, it was as if he was letting himself to be soft after every solid thing that hit both of them.

And y/n took the time to process that information.

Mat still care!!!, her insides screaming in pure joy and confusion, and she felt as unsteady as ever. All the ‘what if’s’ making room inside her thoughts. But ‘What if he still cares, but don’t want anything?' ‘What if things don’t work out?’

“I liked when you cared about me too…” Mat voiced taking y/n’s silence as an answer itself. .

“Mat, I’m just…” she thought for some seconds more, her head still bubbling with doubts. “I still care about you.”

His head was still low, fingers playing with a random bracelet, he was deep in his thoughts just as y/n.

“I wasn’t ready to commit, I have so much shit going on and it’s a whole package. A relationship is different from how we were working before. It demands a lot more…I also needed these months to think again and again about it.” She ranted while staring at the building in front of them. “But I still do. I still care about you.”

“I wanna give it a try, the whole package, and everything. I like you, y/n.” He whispered, his voice drowned by the noise of the city, but she was still able to hear him, the soft tone, the truth underneath each word. “Just text me and let me know when you’re ready.”

She nodded while they exchanged a meaningful look. Truth dripping from each other’s eyes along with affection and a new kind of feeling.

They sat there in silence for some minutes, just listening to the city’s noise and feeling the cold air hit their faces before y/n took her phone typing a simple message and sending it to Mat. He looked at her, a hint of amusement and happiness, and she shook her head yes.

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #ny isles #nhl imagine #fic request #nhl fanfic #anthony beauvillier #tito beauvillier #hockey imagine #latina!reader #black!reader #new york islanders #i lowkey hate this #but i just did it anyway #there are some good parts tho #so yes #bye #night post #mels writing

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rpbetter · 3 years

Note

I often see multis post that they want to make a new muse, at the same time as they're backed up on threads and asks, and they get their followers to "enable" them to make that muse in the post replies. What is your take on this? Is it a they-can-do-what-they-want situation, or is it reasonable to be annoyed when I see this? Or both?

Hey, Anon!

Both.

I mean, as usual, this is my opinion of an opinion-based matter. This isn't an equation that has an objectively right to wrong scale, it isn't actually hurting any living person or thing. But...it is incredibly annoying and can be hurtful.

They can totally do what they want, and much of the nature of genuine creativity is exactly that - the allowance of doing whatever you so desire. It's something I support rather adamantly, but it's also something I support trying our best to do responsibly and without being hurtful to anyone in a hobby that involves more than ourselves.

This isn't deciding to write another fic when you've not finished the previous four or five that others were interested in, or never finishing any of your original fiction, but continually starting new projects. While others might be enjoying those things as well, you didn't agree to interact with them. They're audience members, not participants.

When others are participants in a hobby that has to work both ways, it's different. Your actions do affect other, real human beings.

So, I totally feel like you've a right to be annoyed every time you see that happening. I do. I tend to unfollow people who do that repeatedly, as we're not pursuing the hobby in the same way. I'll argue all day that someone has a right to their, sometimes literally, eighty-plus muses they never develop or stick to, but that doesn't mean I want to engage with them as a writing partner.

For those of us who want long-term writing partners with the same, well-developed muses, this kind of thing just is annoying. As is everything else that comes with it.

As in...

They're constantly posting "talk me out of adding x" as code for "talk me into writing x."

No one actually wants to be talked out of it, which was probably more obvious to everyone else here than it was me for a little while lmao I tend to take things rather literally. This was, as one can imagine, not appreciated! Telling someone in total earnestness, "I really don't think that's a good choice. You're always saying how overwhelmed you are and just dropped multiple threads yesterday, so adding another muse is going to make you feel worse eventually. Don't do it! :)" is so not what they were looking for. As was evident by the return meltdown over how they could do what they wanted, like I said they couldn't or had any authority over what they're doing with their time.

It's an obnoxious bit of pandering for a foregone conclusion.

Have you ever seen anyone who posts that sort of thing not pick up that muse? I haven't. I've only seen muns who are legitimately on the fence about it asking others in private conversations or testing out the muse decide against it. The thing that makes this incredibly irritating is the attention-seeking and need to validate something they must know isn't a great choice, otherwise, they'd just do it. They're aware that they're behind on drafts, asks, and other things - aware that this is maybe a dick move when they owe everyone already. So, they're seeking "permission" with full knowledge that multiple mutuals are going to hop on that post with encouragement, even some of the ones being messed over by this choice.

It puts people in a bad situation.

Some of those people genuinely don't care, they just want to interact with any muse, and I'm going to be awful and say it - they don't care about totally interchangeable muses and have them themselves. That's fine, this isn't a problem for them. It is for the mutuals who are hoping that maybe if their writing partner gets into this new muse, they'll get a reply to their threads with that energy, or that they'll stick to this one and they can have consistent interactions with them. It is for the mutuals who feel pressured to respond positively because they fear not responding at all will make them seem like bad rpers.

One more thing playing into the counter logic excuse for shitty behavior of "it's just a hobby" is one more thing too many, and it does exactly that.

No one wants to be accused of being remotely too invested in RP anymore, of taking it too seriously, or having any emotional investment in muses, stories, or muns. Not accepting every choice someone makes that negatively impacts you with a grin on your face while you dump confetti on them for it just isn't a comfortable option for a lot of muns anymore. Honesty isn't a comfortable option. While the other option isn't either, it seems better than that mutual noticing you're the only writing partner who didn't hop onto that post with support any of the multiple times they reblogged it. It's only a hobby in which everyone can do what they want until what one wants clashes. Then, you're getting a callout for being addicted to RP.

And the way it tends to clash most is in having expectations of others. Ones that would be totally normal in any other hobby requiring interaction with other people.

Like not overburdening yourself at the expense not only of yourself but those on your "team." That's what is being done when someone knows they cannot keep up with themselves, but continues to add to the situation with new muses.

Not only are you no longer getting responses already while they're intending to add even more to their overflowing plate, you'll be dropped again when they have to "fresh start" their blog because they're burned out.

I have to put that in quotations because I don't know how it's a fresh start when you keep everything but the blog layout the same. All the muses and all the behaviors, including adding a new one despite not having the time or interest necessary to do so, is inevitably maintaining the problems that led to burnout. Dropping every thread, changing the URL, a new blog layout, new aesthetics, isn't fixing the issue even if it temporarily reinvigorates the mun.

The mun is definitely doing things that are not helpful to them, it's stressful and upsetting to experience burnout, but it's at least that mun's choice. Both to do it and to become defensive over fixing it, thus, never fixing it. It isn't anyone else's choice to be repeatedly dropped or ignored, though...unless they just keep sticking around for it.

Again, we're supposed to respect everyone's choices. That's fine when it really works that way, when it is truly everyone. But it's not an acceptable decision to see a multimuse of twenty or more muses and say that's your limit, that you've experienced too many muns who are serial muse-adders not being able to keep up with themselves, so you don't interact with these blogs. If one feels that way, they had better not put it in their rules or ever be upfront about this as a reason, when one is demanded, for not following back or interacting.

It's not acceptable to see a writing partner adding another muse after they've owed you for months, just wiped their inbox, and keep expressing being overwhelmed/behind and become annoyed. Let alone dropping them or explaining to them why you are doing so.

The only "acceptable" course of action is hoping that they totally forget you exist so you can quietly slip away.

I don't feel like that's especially fair or mature. It certainly isn't helping the communication problem we absolutely do have here in the RPC when only one party is allowed to communicate without fear of being labeled, rather ironically, as a bad RP partner.

While this problem seems to be most prevalent in more casual RPers, it's certainly not isolated there. I feel like it's necessary to say that I've had muns I both interacted with and were simply on my dash alike who were not on that more casual side who went from being multis to being muse collectors. Once they hit over fifteen of them or so, they stopped even bothering to try to refrain from picking up at least one muse from every new piece of media they consumed or were inspired by.

It was more annoying because they had been capable of writing truly unique characters they stuck to, and even if they were, with full and upfront admission before interaction, slower to respond, those responses were well worth any wait for the quality of writing and storytelling going on. That's so much worse than someone who was always at a lower skill level as a writer, didn't have a good grasp on characterization, and wasn't especially dedicated to anything. It's depressing and disappointing, but it's also not what you think you're getting into when trying to carefully pick who to write with. Like everyone else, my time to enjoy this hobby is far from twenty-four-seven as well. It's important to me to try to choose muns I'll work out with well so that neither of us is wasting the other's time. And that's what it feels like - the investment of time was a waste because their hobby became adding infinite muses, or rather, the idea of muses.

So, yes, while it is fully everyone's right to write what and how they want to (even if it amounts to not writing at all), it'd be nice if we were all as committed to doing so in a way that was adult enough to respect commitments we've made to each other as we are, as a RPC, to losing our minds when someone merely drops the words "commitments" or "respect."

For the inevitable muse-collectors running across this:

Fiction is inspiring! That doesn't mean you needn't be inspired by anything, just that picking up or creating a whole other muse might not be the best way to follow this inspiration.

If you're considering another muse, but you find yourself already behind and/or overwhelmed? Try one of these instead:

create a plot based on it! Write up the idea and put it in your wanted plots/wishlist tag. Bring it up to partners you think might be interested in it as well, or seek out a crossover from that fandom

make it a new verse for an existing muse! This is as close as you get to creating a new muse without actually doing so, and in many ways, it takes even more creativity. How is your muse different in this AU than they are in canon, how are they the same? In the ways that they are the same, what similar events but done in a way that is natural/logical to this universe have happened to maintain that? Get really creative!

for either/both of these, make some moodboards and aesthetics with that energy while you're waiting on someone to take you up on these new things. Answer some HC asks or tag games using your new verse, or write an independent HC for the verse or plot

talk to writing partners who already love that muse about their new verse/your desired plot! No, not pressuring talk, just normal conversation between friends, but maybe they will be interested in starting a thread

simply be inspired to include some aspect of what you liked in an existent thread. A particular scene you could pull ideas from, the overall mood of a film, or the way something was written in a book - include that in your replies somehow! RP is creative writing, be creative

There are so many, honestly more organic, directions to take inspiration than bluntly adding a new muse. Especially when you're already overburdened, not holding up your end of replies, and/or not able to portray each muse as their own character properly.

Sometimes, it's not just not a great idea to add a whole new muse, and that's alright. There seems to be a serious problem with fomo going on with this whole issue, too. You're not going to miss out if you do not immediately add this character to your multi, and you're never going to fully keep up with what is trending anyway. Do it because you still want to write this muse in four months instead, they're obviously not going anywhere if that's the case, and they'll be a better developed, interesting portrayal for that.

And people do have a right to be annoyed when they feel sidelined by you seeing a shiny object and repeatedly pandering for validation in dropping them for it. Particularly if you're a mun who, further, expects everyone to be just as interested in every new muse you make as the last. As in, you're annoyed when you keep creating muses no one is falling over themselves to interact with, guilting, shaming, or outright demanding that this new muse is interacted with before they have access to the previous ones.

They don't have a right to be mean you to, but they have a right to be annoyed and to drop you. They even have a right to politely decline explaining this to you if they feel unsafe, or to politely explain it to you before they move on.

Absolutely everyone's right to pursue RP and every facet of it as they so please, but no one else has to like what you're doing.

If this response grates on some of you out there? Consider the other options you have, how you might be making others feel, and that it's actually completely okay to tell yourself no. You won't perish if you tell yourself no to taking on a new muse when you, honestly, should not! It'll be okay! Maybe, you just need to evaluate if there is another muse, or more than one, you should remove before adding one. Maybe, you just need some time to reorganize how you reply before you add this one. "No" when told to yourself can simply mean "no, not right now, it isn't a good time/situation."

#answered #anonymous #rp problems #rp advice #muse hoarding #burnout

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lonelyreputation · 4 years

Text

Cross The Line

A/N: Hiiii!! I know I said I would be posting angst next, but ha! Sike!!! Here’s a SMUT piece for ya! Ha! To the anon who requested this––So sorry that it's been so long sljdflksd writing takes me a while and then you add smut (well, I added it in lmao) into the mix I tend to overthink alksjfld Keep your eyes peeled for some new fics!! I have a new chapter of C’est Toi, Different, and some other ones coming next week!

As always, let me know what you guys thought!! 💫 💗 Thank you to everyone for your immensely kind words!!! My heart is always filled to the brim with kindness by you lot 🥺

REQUEST: Stylist!ReaderxShawn // Friends to Something More

Let’s Chat!! | MASTERLIST

Warnings: SMUT!!! LIKE ALL THE WAY SMUT THIS TIME!! AHH!!!

Word Count: 7.2K

The excitement backstage was nothing like you had felt before. After coming off a successful European leg of tour, with a two month break, everyone was reenergized. Stagehands were high-fiving the merchandise team, the lighting director was laughing with the audio technician, and Andrew was playing tag with the band.

You were leaned up against the back wall with Connor, discretely listening in on Shawn’s fan Q&A before the show.

“What’s your favorite outfit that Y/n’s put together for you?”

At the sound of your name your postured straightened and Connor nudged an elbow into your stomach. You turned your head to the side and whispered a harsh keep your hands to yourself.

“That’s not what you told Shawn the night of the last London show.”

You whipped your head to look at Connor, eyes wide, “You swore to never bring that up again.”

Connor’s smirk only widened as he turned his head back to face Shawn. You followed his gaze and saw that he was looking down and twirling the white rose he held between his fingers, “Um…I liked the VMA outfit she dressed me in––The green suit.”

The crowd aww’d at his shyness while some let out little shrieks of joy as they clutched their friend’s hand. Once Shawn looked up from the rose, cheeks nice and red, his eyes automatically landed on you in the back. He offered you a secret smile as you shot your head down to look at your feet; both knowing exactly how that night ended with his suit on the floor.

“Did you miss her the most when you went on break?”

Connor nudged his elbow into your side again, and before you could silently tell him off again, Shawn’s soothing voice captured your attention.

“I mean yeah, sure––I––“ he was cut off by even more shrill screams of the fans when he admitted to missing you. The fans sounded exactly how you felt on the inside, “––Of course I missed her, she’s one of my best friends,” more shrill screaming, “And like––I––I missed everyone––Connor, Andrew, Cez–––“

“But you missed her the most, right?”

Shawn’s eyes momentarily connected with yours for a minute before moving his soft eyes to meet the fan who cut him off, “I think it’s time for me to get ready for the show.”

With his avoidance of the question, the fans only squealed more––taking it as confirmation that yes, he did miss you the most––and Connor nudged your side once more. You shot him a glare as you pushed yourself off from the wall with your foot.

“Some of us have to actually work, Connor.”

He let out a stifle of a laugh and shot you yet another mischievous glance, “I’m sure you’ll get plenty of work done dressing him down before the show.”

Connor scurried away out the door and down the hall as you stood in the back with your mouth hung open. Sure, you and Shawn had some sort of relationship that challenged the line of friends or more, but he was your boss and you were his employee.

Everyone turned a blind eye whenever Shawn threw an arm around you, pulled you in close to his side, and pressed a prolonged kiss to your cheek. And everyone ignored you when you took extra time buttoning up his shirt. Everyone––the fans, the crew, even Andrew––was conscious about the peculiar dynamic between the two of you, but no one ever said anything because you two knew not to never cross that line.

Shawn took a chance hiring you with only minimal experience on your resumé, fresh out of university with a fashion merchandising degree. It started with shy smiles and Shawn bringing you a cup of tea made to your liking every time he saw you. Then the nervous laughter turned into longing stares as he looked down at you shining his shoes. And finally, after fixing the collar of his shirt, when you let your hands rest on his chest for a few seconds longer than normal, he ducked his head and kissed you.

It was quick. A soft press of his lips against yours that happened so fast you didn’t process what had happened until he was a rambling mess in front of you. He apologized at least a hundred times: I’m so so sorry, Y/n––I don’t know what I was thinking––I just thought that you––And I––I thought there was something between us––I’m so sorry––I crossed a line.

You let him collect his final thoughts as he let out a deep sigh of embarrassment, turning on his heels to dart out of the room and hide until the end of time, but you took hold of his hand before he could take a step away from you. The seconds you held his hand gently in yours felt like hours as you held your breath.

You remembered how thick the air was with tension. All of the secret glances and private touches led up to this moment. With a shaky breath, you let out a whisper that rang through both of your ears, I think I feel something, too.

Not even a second later, Shawn took your face in both of his hands as he pressed a hard kiss to your lips. It was everything a first kiss with someone new was; noses bumping against each other, a few awkward teeth clanks, and accelerated heart rates. But with more time exploring one another, the two of you knew exactly what the other enjoyed between the sheets.

You were walking down the hall, on your way to Shawn’s dressing room, when a strong arm draped around your shoulder. You felt a smile tug at the corner of your lips, knowing exactly who it was, as they fell into sync with your walking pace.

“What’s the hurry, roadie?”

You rolled your eyes at the nickname Shawn bestowed on you when you told him the horror story of telling your parents you would be traveling to work for him. So, like a roadie? Your mother had said with a twinge of disdain in her voice, not fully believing that this was neither a viable source of income nor a stable career.

You brought an arm to wrap around his waist, “Just on my way to dress up a client.”

“Must be a pretty important client if you’re walking that fast.”

“Well,” you peered up at him and saw that he was looking straight forward with a smirk on his face, “Was maybe hoping to just have some time alone together before.”

Your voice was soft, wavering a little like the day you told him you felt something between each other for the first time. Your voice didn’t imply that you wanted to do anything sexual with him, it was said with a more innocent tone, because you really did just want to spend some time alone with him. The easy going and zen aura he manifested definitely had an effect whenever you spent time with him.

You felt at peace when you were in the same room as him. You felt at ease when he sat next to you on the couch. And you felt giddy whenever he slotted his hand between yours and played with your fingers.

You had begun to feel something way more than the excitement of a sexual relationship. But you didn't know how Shawn felt. You two never talked about your feelings for each other. Of course you enjoyed each other’s presence a little too much, cared for each other a little more than how best friend’s cared for each other, and you thought a little more about what his words meant than just a regular friend.

You had crossed the line with your feelings.

“C’mon,” Shawn guided you toward the double doors that led out of the arena and to the parking lot with the tour busses.

Your movements held no objection as you let him direct you, but your voice was different, “But you have to get ready–––”

“I wear the same pair of jeans and white shirt,” Shawn looked down at you with a smile as you felt the heat of the Portland air on your skin, “I’ll be fine.”

“You do not wear the same pair of jeans every night,” you objected, “I make sure they get washed after every performance,” you glared at him as his tour bus came into view, “so if you’re wearing the same pair then we need to have a serious talk.”

Shawn let out a boisterous laugh as he detached his arm from around your shoulder to open the door. You offered him a smile as a thank you and walked up the stairs into the familiar temporary home.

Shawn followed close behind you and swiftly closed the door. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest with the silence. You were always nervous to be alone with him, but with recognizing your newfound feelings for him, all thoughts of composure left your mind and you were left in a puddle of your emotions.

“You know I––I didn’t––” Your back was to him, but you still shut your eyes tight in embarrassment, “––I didn’t mean I wanted anything more when I said I wanted alone time with you.”

“I know,” his voice was deep as you heard it from behind.

“I just––I like spending time with you,” your arms hung stiffly at your sides, hands curling into fists so tight at your confession, that you knew there would be a dozen crescent moon shapes along your palm, “We don’t need to do anything.”

You could feel Shawn’s breath hit the back of your neck as he spoke, “I know.”

“But like––If you want to––We can do stuff because I like that too, but I––I just wanted you to know that I…” your words trailed off as you felt Shawn’s hands ghost over your own, simultaneously easing your nerves and heightening them all at once, “…I like the times when we don't do any of that stuff.”

“I like those times too.”

It was the closest thing to a confession of feelings shared between the two of you.

In a moment of confidence, you spun around to face him, scared to see his facial expression. While Shawn was gifted in the way he expressed words, you knew him well enough to know that his facial expressions held the full truth. So, when you glanced up at him, and he was looking into your eyes with the same amount of desperation and longing you had in yours, you took your confidence up to another level.

You looped your index finger into the gap above one of the buttons on his shirt and pulled him in for an innocent kiss, curling your other hand around his neck.

When you pulled back, he seemed to be in a bit of a dazed and dreamlike state, with his lips pink and slightly parted as his brown eyes stared affectionately into yours. The look in his eyes alerted you to the fact that maybe he wanted this too. Maybe he wanted to tiptoe across the line with you.

“I like being with you,” you said, voice barely above a whisper as you spoke the words that both of you knew held a deeper meaning. Your fingers continued to play with the curls at the nape of his neck, “You calm me down.”

Another moment of silence passed and you felt the nerves bubble up in your stomach. But you knew that Shawn felt the same way, you could tell by looking into his eyes as you saw the mechanics whirling through his mind, debating on whether or not to cross the line.

You were across the line and held out a hand for him to join you.

Just when you were about to retreat from the bus out of embarrassment that maybe he only wanted to be physical with you, he gathered you up and kissed you again, one hand on your cheek as it slid down your neck. You were positive he could hear the beat of your heart as he slowly walked you backwards down the little living area and to his private room in the back.

You broke the kiss, “But soundcheck––”

“They can find someone else to sing into the mic,” he interrupted you, turning the knob of the door to the small bedroom. The door flew open and Shawn reattached your lips as he rushed the two of you inside. And then, as if there were prying eyes of eager fans who wanted to know every detail about his life around, he shut the door right behind him so that it was just the two of you in the room.

Alone for the first time since crossing the line.

Shawn wasted no time in taking your hips in his hands as he pressed you up against the door, attacking you with kisses. The odd plastic material of the door was uncomfortable against your back, but with Shawn’s chest pressed up against yours, you didn’t mind it.

As if it would be the last time you kissed, the two of you weren’t holding back. The kisses he gave you, that you reciprocated, were open-mouthed, rough, and fiery.

In moments like these, it was your greatest desire to run your hands along his chest, to be as physically close to him as possible, to rest your hands on his chest to feel if his heartbeat was beating as fast as yours. But with both of his hands pinning your arms down to your sides, Shawn made that impossible, and you were forced to keep your arms limp as he nipped down your neck.

But after a few shrugs of your shoulder, he released your arms and you immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers tugging on his hair. Shawn was particular when people touched his hair, and your fingers were full of hesitance when they first combed through his curls, but from the guttural sound he made when you pulled his hair from your collarbone back up to your lips, you knew he wasn’t complaining about you messing up his hair.

As much as you wanted to feel him, you savored the feeling of him touching your body. His fingers ran up and down your sides, tracing lines on your back, inching your dress up.

Suddenly, as if the reality of the situation came crashing down on him, he pulled away from you and ran his own hand through his hair. You didn’t have to feel his heartbeat to know that it was beating just as fast as yours.

While you weren’t pleased by the sudden loss of contact, you couldn’t help but feel the slow tug of a smile at the corners of your mouth as you looked at him. His white collared shirt was wrinkled and half-way untucked from his black skinny jeans. And his curls were sticking up in a few different directions.

“You still wanna do this?”

His voice wavered in uncertainty, just like it did the day he first kissed you.

You stepped forward, hooking your index fingers through his belt loops, as you tilted your head up to sneak another kiss away from him as your answer. Finally, he crossed the line and was with you on the other side.

Shawn held your head in his hands, tucking your hair behind your ears as he dragged his tongue across your lip to tease you. You could’ve done without the short and sudden break of his kisses, but you would do anything for him if it eased his nerves.

There was a change of pace to the way he touched you. Your heart was still beating at a pace that would worry some medical professionals, but you felt calm and a sense of control you hadn’t felt before. Your fingers stumbled over his belt buckle as you somehow managed to unhook it, only breaking your kisses once to pull the belt out of the loops. You held the leather material loosely in your hands, as you let it it slip away, dropping to the floor of the tour bus carelessly, the clanking of the buckle was loud enough for both of you to jump.

“My bad,” you nervously laughed off your embarrassment. Shawn pulled away slightly to stare at you. A smile softly made its way onto his face as he tilted his head to look at you with adoration. You felt hot under his gaze, but you didn’t mind the attention you were receiving from him.

Just like every time you had been together, you wanted to watch him come undone and know that it was you who caused him to feel that way.

Shawn’s eyes traveled up, smile widening as crinkles appeared in the corner of his eyes as he softly laughed at the flower crown tangled in your hair. It took both of his hands to remove it, and when he found a strand of hair tangled on the stem of one of the flowers, he gently unraveled it.

“I thought it added a nice touch to my outfit, a fan gave it to me,” you said with a pout as Shawn placed the flower crown on the small table in the room, “Don’t you like to play dress-up?”

“No,” Shawn answered with a whisper, “I’m tired of games.”

There was something about his voice, a delicateness to it that held a certain amount of desperation––of exhaustion––that you wanted to make disappear.

His tone was soon replaced with a boyish smile before he reattached your lips to his. Both of you took your time, but the urgency in your kisses and touches didn’t go unnoticed. Your fingers went to unbuttoning his shirt as you guided him to walk backwards to his bed. Once the top half of the shirt was unbuttoned, you slid your hands inside, spreading the shirt open to pop off the rest of the buttons. Shawn pulled his arms out one by one, as the shirt slowly slid off his shoulders, making sure that he always had a hand on your body. Once his shirt was fully unbuttoned and hanging from the top of his jeans, you tugged on the tucked portion out of his pants to threw it on the floor.

“That shirt wrinkles easily,” Shawn easily smiled at you, “My stylist will have your head.”

You let out a humorless laugh as you ran your hands over his chest, “I hear if you ask her nicely she’ll do anything you say.”

His skin was warm like the summer air.

“Will she now?” His smile morphed into a smirk as you felt him fiddle with the zipper on the back of your dress. You nodded your head as you felt him pull the zipper down your back in a teasingly slow manner only to zip it right back up.

He did that a few times and the control over him you felt before was dwindling away with every tug of the dress zipper. Instead of surrendering and giving him the upper hand, you placed a hand on his chest and pushed him onto the bed. Surprised by your act of boldness, he tilted his head up at you. But you could see that he enjoyed whatever dynamic was happening from the mischievous glint that twinkled up at you.

You moved to stand in between his legs, looking down at him and mirroring the lust in his eyes, as he wrapped his hands around your thighs at your knees and dragged his hands up. He never broke eye contact with you as his hands moved further up your thighs, disappearing under the material of your dress.

You urged Shawn to scoot back on the bed. With your hands on his shoulders to keep balanced, you straddled him, resting your knees on either side of him. You paused for a moment to run a hand through his hair before bending your head to capture his lips in a kiss. Shawn’s hands gripped your waist, and with one hand inching up your back toward the zipper, he finally managed to bring the zipper all the way down.

But before your moment of intimacy could continue on, you pulled back and raised your eyebrows at him. Shawn didn’t seem too pleased at the loss of contact, but didn’t press you any further than what you were comfortable with.

“Are you sure?”

You were giving him an out; he knew that. And while you wanted nothing more to continue on with what was to come, first and foremost he was your boss. You were on his payroll and you didn’t want to make things any more complicated than they already were. Sure, the two of you had sex before, but this was crossing a line into uncharted territory with real feelings.

Your question caused his smile to falter a little. But with a hoarse voice, he managed to soften his eyes as they stared into yours, doing his best to convey every word, “Really fucking sure.”

The way he looked into your eyes––like you held every inspiration to every one of his future songs and how his voice sounded like he was pleading with you to let him imoralitize every detail of this feeling on pen and paper––you almost surrendered. You almost let him have complete control to do whatever he pleased to your body, just so you could really feel the true impact of his words. But you didn’t want to wave a white flag just yet, so you motioned him to slide further back on the bed, placing a hand flat on his chest and pushed him down.

You had never been so forward with him, so direct in what you wanted, that a gasp escaped from his throat when his head hit the pillow. Leaning over him, you lowered yourself down, pinning his arms by his biceps, much like he had done to you earlier against the door, and caught him in a kiss. This time, your tongue dominated, exploring every inch of his mouth and softly biting down on his lower lip, dragging it away with you until you released it.

Shawn didn’t fight you, and you kept your grip on his biceps as you trailed kisses up his jaw all the way to his ear, nibbling on the lobe. Your kisses up and down his neck were full of desire, licking and sucking your way down.

Shawn sighed as you reached his collarbone, and when you peered up at him, his eyes were closed. His body radiated with warmth, as you moved your lips slowly down his chest, as you released the grip you had on his arms to caress his chest.

As soon as his biceps were free from the constraints of your hands, Shawn gained the upper hand, and flipped you over so you were on your back. He sat with his knees between your legs, with the lack of control you felt sheepish under him, but he offered you a shy smile that rekindled the light in your lower abdomen.

Shawn started at your knees, one hand on each, and ran his hands over your legs. His eyes were bright and alluring, stare never faltering, as your body was on high alert, attentive as his fingers skimmed underneath your dress.

Even with the dress still on, you felt exposed, as he gripped your thighs with each hand and pulled you toward him. Then he leaned down toward you, moving slowly between your legs and up your torso to give you another kiss.

“Y/n,” Shawn hummed as if not believing he was awake for this moment. He slowly dragged down a strap of your dress and kissed the spot of your shoulder where it had previously laid, “We’re gonna do this?”

“I…I want to,” you admitted shyly, pulling your arm out of the strap. Shawn helped you remove your other arm from the strap as you asked, “Do you want to?”

Shawn smiled, “I really want to.” He sat up, pulling your dress up over your head so fast that you weren’t even sure how it happened until you felt a coldness over your exposed body.

Your dress was tossed carelessly on the floor, as Shawn leaned down to press his chest against yours.

“Cold?” Shawn mumbled as he kissed his way down your neck.

“Um…no,” you sighed in response to his gentle biting at your skin. “You––You’re really warm.”

Shawn leaned over and pulled back the covers on the bed, and nodded for you to climb under the sheets, which you did without hesitation. As your head hit the pillow, Shawn crawled in soon after, unclasping your bra as he glided the straps down your shoulders.

Your fingers fumbled with the button on his pants, which was a little hard considering how tight you were pressed up against each other under the covers. But once you popped the button from his jeans off, Shawn wiggled his legs from out of his pants, flinging them aside. There was a noticeable bulge in his boxer-briefs, and you sucked in a deep breath. Your moment of shyness caused him to let out a small chuckle as he brought a hand to rest on your stomach.

“I kinda like it when you’re nervous,” Shawn whispered and nudged your feet apart, brushing his fingers along the waistband of your underwear. He dipped his index finger below the waistband, gasping when he touched your skin.

“I’m––We’ve had sex before,” you tried to keep your voice even, but with his fingers dropping dangerously low, your voice wavered, “I’m not…nervous.”

Shawn shut his eyes and leaned down to press a peck on your lips. “Okay,” his words were muffled against your lips, as his fingertips lightly brushed over your crotch that was still covered by your underwear. You shivered again, but this time it wasn’t from the cold air. He placed the hand on your waist to hold you in place as he leaned down to catch your lips in a heated kiss. His tongue slid into your mouth with no reservations as his hand rubbed soft circles on the inside of your thigh.

His hand left your thighs and traveled upward, pressing a hand flat on you, watching you for your reaction to his touch.

You were crumbling like a cookie when he brought his hand to his mouth, sliding his index and middle finger between his lips. You felt the anticipation building in your lower stomach. He brought his fingers out of his mouth, raising his eyebrow and smirking at you, glowing with smugness. Before you could criticize him for it, his hand slid under your underwear, with his wet fingers gliding over you in between your slit.

As if it was like you were on autopilot, your eyes closed, head falling back on the pillow as you started to feel the build up of the state of euphoria you knew Shawn was going to lead you to. His fingers were agonizingly slow at first as they became acquainted with the sensitive area. His movements were torturous as you bit your bottom lip to keep any obscene words from coming out. Every time the pads of his fingers rubbed your clit, your breath got caught in your throat.

When your eyes opened, just for a millisecond, you should see that his eyes were only focused on you. His eyes seemed just as intrigued by your reaction as you were with his fingers. You brought a hand up onto his shoulder, slowly moving it to the back of his neck to hold you for support, bringing him down for a kiss that you instantly deepened. Shawn made that sound again, a content grunt in the back of his throat, as you felt the feeling of the bulge grow against your thigh.

Still breathing heavily, Shawn broke the kiss, but still had his fingers working down below.

“I want you,” he breathed, lips against your ear. And from the way his fingers skimmed over you with ease, slippery and coated, he knew just how much you wanted him.

Before you could verbalize your desire for him, his arm tightened around you as he pushed your thighs further apart with his knee. His middle finger began to move in circles over your clit, gentle at first, then increasing in pressure. You threw your head back onto the pillow, clenching your jaw tight to hold off the sounds you knew he wanted you to make. But when the speed of his fingers increased, you opened your eyes and were automatically met with his determined eyes staring into yours, you couldn’t fight the moan that escaped your lips. You brought an arm up to curl around his neck to lift yourself up slightly from the bed as you buried your head into the crook of his neck to muffle the sound of your moans.

When Shawn removed his finger from beneath your underwear for a split second you groaned into his neck, missing the contact of his skin on yours when you were so close to a release. He took his wrist and rolled it to stretch it out and then his hand dipped right back in as you pressed a kiss to his neck.

His movements were a little sloppier with his tired hand, but the feeling in your lower stomach began to build faster and faster with every flick of his wrist. A tingly feeling started out on the tip of your toes and spread further and further up your body, making all of the hair on your body stick up.

When you finally felt it––the tensing of your muscles and a euphoric release all at once––you threw your head back on the pillow, bringing Shawn down with you, as your hips bucked against his hand. But his movements didn’t stop there, he kept his finger circling your clit, encouraging you to ride out your high.

You were not a stranger to Shawn making you feel like you were on top of the world, but something about confirming your mutual want for each other beyond a little fun here and there, made your orgasm earth shattering. You felt it rip through your body that left you in a puddle on the bed. Shawn slowed down his movements, hooking his fingers around the band of your underwear, helping you shimmy out of them. In one swift movement, he discarded your underwear somewhere around the room and removed his own.

Once he kicked his legs to get his underwear off from around his ankles he trapped you in a kiss, grinding his body against yours, not shy about his growing hardness brushing against the inside of your thigh.

With a lazy smile, he pulled away from the kiss as he lifted his body from yours, reaching over to the small night stand next to the bed. He fumbled his hand inside the drawer, “Where is it––Fucking thing––Got it,” he slammed the drawer closed with a bang as he retrieved the condom, ripped the package open, and left the wrapper on the night stand.

As you watched him slip the condom on, all you could think of was how many times you found yourself in this position; lying beneath Shawn, forehead glistening with a bit of sweat, as you felt a shiver shake your body at what was about to happen.

Shawn leaned down, leaving a trail of kisses up your stomach before meeting your lips. His warmth spread over you, bringing a slight relaxing effect to your nerves. Your breaths were shallow, chest rising and falling rapidly. Shawn noticed your nerves and paused, the tip of his shaft against your opening.

“Everything’s alright,” he lightly brushed his lips against yours in reassurance.

Shawn waited until he got a nod in confirmation from you before he continued, and in one swift motion, he slid in with ease. You scrunched up your nose and screwed your eyes shut as you felt him push himself further into you. It was a pleasurable sensation, but you couldn’t deny the little bit of pain you felt as he stretched your walls.

When Shawn saw the expression on your face, he slowed down his movements, letting out a grunt as he came to a complete stop, “Okay?”

There was a tenderness behind his words from the way he checked in on you to make sure you were comfortable. He had always been gentle and kind with you in the past, but this felt more special. And the more you looked up at his face, with his eyebrows scrunched together in concern, it planted a seed of confidence in your stomach to try something neither of you had done in the bedroom together; you lightly pushed at his chest for him to get off you.

Before he could get a word past his lips, you sat up and swung one of your legs over his waist. You took his cheeks into your hands, and when Shawn realized what you were doing, a smirk grew on his face. He propped himself up on his elbows, moving back on the bed a bit, as you placed your hands on his shoulders.

Without another word, you lowered yourself onto him, Shawn trying his best to keep his eyes open and connected with yours.

But when you sunk fully down onto him, he screwed his eyes tight, throwing his head back against the flimsy tour bus headboard, “Shit.”

You kept one hand on his shoulder as the other trailed up to hold his cheek in your hand, thumb grazing his jawline as you felt it tighten. You moaned softly, neither one of you saying a word, as your fingernails dug into his shoulder.

With the new position you found yourself in, you had more of a sense of control than any of the other times you were intimate with him. It was something you liked. You were moving, up and down, at a rhythmic pace, as Shawn ran his fingers up and down your thighs. He placed a hand on your waist, keeping you in position as he moved further back on the bed.

Your movements were faster and Shawn pressed a quick kiss to your lips as he lowered his head and placed his lips over your breast. If it wasn’t for Shawn’s hand on your hip, encouraging you to keep up with your movements, you would have stopped right then and there. Your mouth hung open as you felt his tongue swirl around your nipple, at a loss for words, you ran your fingers through his curls and pulled on them a little. Shawn moaned against your breast in pleasure, sending vibrations throughout your body.

Shawn lifted his head and placed a sweet kiss below your ear, “Relax.” His voice was soft, but seeing as you two were still connected at the hips, his voice was thick.

You hadn’t realized that your breathing was sharp and uneven. You stilled your hips and pressed a hand against your chest, as you tried to calm down your breathing. You were more embarrassed about your erratic breathing than you were about being naked on top of him. He had seen you naked before, but never had he seen you nervous quite like this.

“I…” You were racking your brain for an excuse, but with a quirk of his eyebrow and a soft smile, you knew any lie you told would be detected by him, “I’m nervous.”

Shawn smiled and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek before wrapping his arms around your waist to bring you in for a hug. His calloused fingers ran up and down your spine as you buried your head in the crook of his neck, taking in a deep, shaky breath.

“It’s alright,” Shawn whispered into your ear, fingers still delicately dancing on your back, “Trust me.”

He pressed a few kisses on your shoulder before you nodded your head against him. You trusted him a lot. More than you probably should. With your confirmation, Shawn pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head and wrapped a strong arm around your waist as he swiftly flipped you over onto your back.

Without a slight notion of hesitation, Shawn thrusted back into you, so deep that you clenched your teeth and pressed your head deep onto the pillow. You gasped as he pulled out, and when he thrusted back into you again, sharp and quick, you parted your lips, "Shawn.”

Shawn’s pace was faster than yours, but his thrusts were still careful and executed perfectly as he hit the right spot every time. You let out a sigh of content at the sensation of being joined together with another person––a person you cared deeply about.

He kept himself hovered over you with a hand fisting the white sheets right by your head, and hooked his other arm under your thigh, wrapping it around his waist. He held your thigh in place as he continued his fast thrusts. The only sound you heard in the tiny back room of the tour bus were the mixed gasps of air shared between the two of you and the slap of skin as Shawn repeatedly pushed into you.

Your head started to spin as you felt your stomach tighten, reaching your peak. Shawn had taken the words right from you since he stood behind you when you first walked onto the tour bus. So, as you struggled to keep the lewd sounds of your orgasm to a minimum, you tried to keep your eyes locked with the brown irises above you. His eyebrows were scrunched together as he bit on his bottom lip, concentrating on every thrust of his hips as they collided with yours.

His eyes were soft, trailing down your body and then back up to stare into your eyes. You brought a hand up to his forehead and pushed back the curls that were slightly sticking to hid skin from the thin layer of sweat. He sucked in a breath of air as you felt the pads of fingers tighten around your thigh.

“Y/n.”

You could feel when he hit his high; voice sounding desperate, as his pace became quicker and sloppier as he lowered himself until your chests were pressed together. He nuzzled his head into your neck, pressing hot open kisses up and down your throat.

You grabbed a fisful of his curls as he continued to slowly rock back and forth until he completely stalled his movement inside of you. He released a deep breath, hot and full of pure content at the conclusion of your little activity, and raised his head to look into your eyes. Shawn reached a hand up and ran his fingers over your hairline before softly tracing his fingers down the side of your face, cupping your cheek.

With your chests still stuck together by sweat, he only had to lower his head a few centimeters to brush his lips against yours. The kisses were intimate, soft like a kid chasing a butterfly on a warm spring afternoon, before he changed the pace and captured your lips in a deep kiss. The hold he had on your thigh dropped as he trailed his hand from the tops of your thigh, giving your hips a light pinch that had you squirming under him, and then slid his hand up to rest on your ribcage, just below your breast.

Your thoughts were wildly running around, basking in the feeling of being fully consumed by him.

You were consumed by the feeling of the blazing trail his touches left on you. Consumed by his voice, saying your name with all the care and wonder in the world, but also in a tone that you would never want your parents to hear. Consumed by the taste of his salty skin as you pressed kisses along his neck and the smell of freshly washed clothes mixed with sweet post-sex. But most of all, you were consumed by the sight of the boy on top of you; eyes always searching yours to make sure you were comfortable.

It felt like you didn’t know how to breathe until this moment.

When he pulled out of you, there was a shy smile toying on his face. He looked nothing like the previous times when the two of you had just finished having sex. In those moments in the past, he would have a satisfied and confident smirk on his face, knowing he made you feel better than anyone else. But even with his confidence, he still had those soft eyes though.

Soft eyes and a shy smile.

Shawn removed the condom and tossed it in the trash can that was next to his bed, crawling back under the covers. He laid on his side, head resting on the pillow to face you, as he wiggled under the covers, getting in a comfortable position.

“Hi,” he said with a smile on his face.

You found his hand under the covers and slotted your fingers through his as you returned his soft smile, “Hey.”

Shawn gave your hand a slight squeeze and the two of you fell into silence staring at each other. Normally, being under someone’s gaze, especially Shawn’s, would cause you to shudder back. But not this time. You felt the complete opposite; the more he stared at you, the more you felt desired––more confident.

He untangled your hands, and at first you were sad about the loss of contact, but he threw an arm over your waist and pulled you in close to his chest, pressing a kiss on the top of your head. You fitted your arm around him and smiled into his bare chest, because yes, while holding hands is a nice gesture, it didn’t hold a flame to the feeling of leaning against his chest; your head rising and falling with his rhythmic breathing as your heartbeat tried to sync up with his. While you felt the erratic beating of his heart, you were having trouble getting your heartbeat to slow down for him.

Maybe your heart would always beat a little faster for him.

#skdhfksf #here ya go #some smut on this friday #enjoy your weekend!!!!#please let me know your thoughts!!#smut makes me slkjfsd so I'd love to know your thoughts bc I don't write it very often #I hope you've all had a good week!! tell me a highlight!!#THANKS A MILLION BAJILLION!!!#ALSO WHO WANTS TO SCREAM ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFTS NEW ALBUM WITH ME!!!!#ILLICIT AFFAIRS IS THE ANGST I HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF WRITING #it has inspired me in a way though 👀#Shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes fic #Shawn Mendes fanfic #Shawn Mendes fanfiction #Shawn Mendes fan fic #Shawn Mendes x reader #Shawn Mendes x y/n #Shawn Mendes imagine #Shawn Mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes blurb #Shawn Mendes drabble #Shawn Mendes writing #Shawn Mendes blurbs #Shawn Mendes oneshot #Shawn Mendes one shot #Shawn mendes oneshots #Shawn Mendes writings #Shawn meneds drabbles #Shawn Mendes writings

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writing-for-me-at-this-point · 4 years

Text

Hurt S/o! | Shikamaru + Kiba + Shino | ANGST + Fluff | HC’s

Request: This is my first request so please forgive and correct me if I do something wrong. I was wondering if you could maybe do an angsty headcanons for Shikimaru, Kiba, and Shino from Naruto’s reaction to their S/O getting seriously injured protecting them. If the S/O recovers or dies and the enemy is all up to you, I’ve just noticed a real lack in content for them and I’m craving it hard. Please and thank you!

Word Count: 1953 words

Page Count: 5.5 pages

A/N: i got so caught up in writing this it became way too long lmao. im sorry i forgot about naruto :( but i hope you do enjoy the rest! i made sure to end everything well. i have a shit ton of angst requests so i thought id leave this on a happier note :)

Tags: @bipolartryingtosurvive

Shikamaru Nara

- I could see this being during the Hidan fight.

- Hes set the plan in motion at that point.

- And you’re to make sure Hidan is distracted for the time being .

- Hidan may be an ass, but he isn’t dumb.

- He notices how you are keeping him from Shikamaru.

- Fucking LIVID

- You notice how hes shifting your fight closer to Shikamaru until he gets to the point where he definitely can get a deep slash into the Nara.

- You knew he was trying to get to him.

- You were fast, one of the fastest in the village, but that was because you were fairly weak when it came to strength.

- You tried to zip around, gaining speed and momentum, and within seconds- right when Hidan was going to bring his scythe down on Shikamarus neck, you slammed your body to his side.

- Shikamaru flew away as Hidan managed to get a large and deep slash into your body; you felt it start from under the right side of your ribs, curving across your stomach, and finally finished above your left knee.

- You didn’t feel it until you fell to the ground- shock really is a bitch.

- And then you felt the dull sting grow and blood dripped from the wound.

- The stinging grew into a pulsing and unbearable ache, and you knew for a fact he cut through each muscle in the way of his scythe, but your organs were nipped ( at best ) in the process.

- You couldn’t hear what was going on.

- You heard your heart beat in your ears, it was deafening, but you focused on your breathing and trying to keep calm.

- You trained for this- having a close friend beat your ass near death so you could focus on remaining in a state where you could prolong the inevitable.

- Yeah you thought of the most wild scenarios, and managed to prepare for them- turns out it worked out well.

- Once Hidan is buried Shikamaru went straight to you, managing to help out with Ino and Choji, stopping some of the bleeding while getting you to the village.

- You’re passed out at that point, so Ino cauterizes the wounds ends, the part under your ribs and the entire thigh.

- Shikamaru starts freaking at this point, he almost passes out, and Choji has to get his ass back together.

- Once you get back to the village Tsunade is ready to go, with Sakura by her side your ass isn’t ending up on that stone.

- It takes about four hours to get you all settled, and into a private room, out of critical.

- He’d stay by your bedside, your hand in his till you woke up.

- “Shika…?”

- “Oh my gods, [ Y/n ]!”

- “Hi”

- Your soft giggles helped ease this poor boys heart.

- “You look awful.”

- “Don’t look too hot yourself.”

- “Wow. Okay.”

- “Get up here, you need some sleep. And don’t even deny it.”

- He took off the bulky clothes, only in his pants and tank top, climbing in next to you as you settled your head on his chest.

- “Thank you for taking care of me,”

- “Thank you for not dying.”

Kiba Inuzuka

- Being in Anbu had its ups and downs.

- But mostly downs.

- Okay. Only downs.

- But you managed to find your light, in a childhood friend and now lover.

- Though- he managed to act more like a puppy than a boyfriend at times.

- You didn’t mind though, and you lived your life peacefully after having to leave Anbu due to an injury that limited your eyesight greatly and it hindered all sight starting at arms length.

- Though, when in Anbu, its always- ALWAYS expected to have an old rival or two come back for more, even when one is retired.

- And here you were, walking through the forest with Kiba and Akamaru, talking about his past mission with Hinata and Shino.

- He got so excited to tell you that he didn’t notice the shift in scents in the air, and you couldn’t see ahead or through your peripheral.

- It happened so fast.

- Too fast.

- One second you were smiling with his arms around your waist, his chin on your head as you both laughed with Akamaru yipping.

- The next you were slipping from his arms, and blood was pooled at his arms, the slash at your neck was gruesome.

- Your hands went to your neck as Kiba yelled, Akamaru going after the person who came from the shadows.

- “No. No. No. No. No. No. [ Y/n ], NO!” He was panicking, picking you up quickly as a hand wrapped around your throat, gripping it so tightly you almost couldn’t breathe.

- Almost.

- You learned to stay calm in situations like this, and with Kiba’s harsh grip you didn’t have to waste any energy to help with the bleeding, so you focused on breathing and not getting your heart to pump too fast.

- “Tsunade! Fuck- get a medical nin! Now!”

- He yelled, running into the village again, where many were coming to help you out.

- Akamaru had come back by then, his mouth bloodied as well, but nothing else- indicating he got a good bite on the fucker.

- You made it to the hospital before you lost consciousness, making Kiba worry even more, because THAT was never a good sign.

- He had to be the one to lay you down on the table and his grip never wavered, getting into a sterile room and waiting for some instruction.

- He was freaking out inside, he wanted to cry and let go, just hold you- but you would die if any of that were to happen.

- He had to stay calm for you.

- He wasn’t going to let you die.

- The tell him to let go quickly and all hands go to your neck, working quickly to stop the bleeding, while a nurse came to get Kiba cleaned up and situated.

- His mom even came to help the boy, who looked dead while staring at your room, not even wanting to go in.

- “Boy."

- Oh did she go off, telling him to go to his girlfriend and be a man.

- He did want to go, but he couldn’t help but feel so… helpless.

- "Helpless? Helpless! Boy, you do understand you just saved your girls life? That if you weren’t there she’d be laying there dead?”

- Kinda rocked his shit, but thanks mom.

- He went into your room alone first, your neck was bandaged and you looked pale, with blood and other IV fluids being attached to your arms.

- He noticed the especially dark bruise on your neck.

- It could have been either from his hand or the surgery, but he still felt bad.

- His mom came in and sat with him on the other side of you.

- They both held your hands and visited you till you woke up.

- “I lived bitch.”

Shino Aburame

- I honestly can’t see his S/o getting hurt so bad.

- Because when you think about it his bug control is OP AF.

- Like he can essentially control you with a bug.

- I would go with someone would be after him, but since they can’t get to Shino- you would be the best option.

- Get hurt him physically so lets do it mentally and emotionally :)

- Poor boy

- I could see this being when your both adults, and teaching the younger generations, including your kids :)

- And you’re chilling on your house rooftop, that you’ve decorated with couches and tables and such, even hanging lights around.

- You had Shino build a retractable sliding glass on top in case it rains.

- If you’re having trouble imagining this- think Fast and Furious ending where everyone is eating dinner together.

- Yeah that’s ya’ll with the rest of the group :)

- You’re relaxing, reading a book and curled into the couch and drinking some tea or coffee or hot cocoa ( THEY’RE ALL VALID )

- You had gotten up a second to go to the large chest you had near one of the tables, to pick out a fluffy blanket.

- You never noticed how someone had mixed a poison into your drink, because they were gone before you could even decide on a blanket.

- Your kids would have been home soon, and they knew you liked to hang out up here, especially Shino since he kept the bees up here.

- You settled down and read some more, before taking sips of your drink.

- You noticed it tasted weird, and you had gotten up to check it out you felt your head get light, and your throat was stinging- making you cough horribly.

- You honestly felt like death was coming for you, and you knew something was wrong, but by the time you had gotten to the door you fell down and struggled to breathe.

- “Hey mom, Aponi kicked me-”

- “Shut up! Adonis don’t be- Mom!”

- “Mom?!”

- Your kids started freaking out, with your little girl noticing how strange you looked and saw the cup that was broken at your side.

- “Addy! Get dad! Mom drank something!”

- “Alright! Stay there- I’ll be back!”

- They managed to get their dad and Uncle Kiba, with Aponi looking to the cup- having some of her bugs recognize what was in it.

- “Dad! Its Saifu Ants! Someone poisoned mom with Saifu ants!”

- Shino had gotten some for himself and used their toxins to create an antidote.

- You were currently at the hospital, and declining rapidly, stressing out everyone around you.

- Even Naruto came and the dude is Hokage and is busy as hell.

- “You should all be prepared for the worst.”

- Everyone’s hearts dropped, and Shino couldn’t be there- he was helping making the antidote.

- It took about 20 more minutes until Shino came rushing in with it.

- Everyone made their way to your room and god.

- You were so pale, you honestly looked dead. Your kids only knew you were alive due to the heart monitor and your weak chalkra signature, your breathing was supported by a machine and even then your lungs sounded horrible.

- God Shino worked as hard as he could so fast.

- He felt like his heart stopped, that everything was moving too fast for him and he was going to pass out.

- Thank god his eyes were covered cause he had tears in them the entire time.

- He felt his soul ripping apart, what would he do if you left him so soon? The kids?

- You had gotten the antidote in time- but not before the poison had it’s time with you.

- Your lungs were destroyed and your heart was weak, your muscle was torn down.

- But you made it back to them.

- Everyone held a sigh of relief.

- You were a little off at first- still sleepy and slurring.

- After a few month you were able to leave- with everyone visiting you in the meantime with what had been going on in the village.

- Once you made it home you collapsed on your bed with Shino, easing his heart just a bit.

- Your kids jumped in too, snuggling up to both of you, with Aponi on your chest and Adonis on your stomach.

- “You scared us. Please, don’t do that again.”

- “It’s okay. I told you. You can’t get rid of me that easy.”

- “Like I’d want to.”

262 notes · View notes

winterscaptain · 4 years

Note

Has anyone asked for Director's Cut to Focused? Because I would love to hear about my new favorite installment, if you're still taking requests for these!

its under the cut, with my commentary in bold italics! thanks for asking for this babe!! i loved writing this one.

“Don’t get comfortable. There will be time to debrief on the plane.” Hotch’s eyes are trained on the monitor, where grainy security footage plays and replays an exceedingly casual murder in an underground subway station.

“Exceedingly casual murder” is probably one of my favorite phrases so far.

Reid, entering behind you, squints at the monitor. “Where are we headed?”

“New York.”

Rossi advances on the monitor. “Five shootings in two weeks. It’s about time we got the call.”

You watch as Hotch replays the tape again. “Why the delay?”

Aaron doesn’t answer you, but rather addresses Derek. “I want to take Garcia with us. Hopefully they’ll give us access to their surveillance systems.”

He’s distracted, almost absent-minded. It’s odd.

“What do we know?” You try again with another question, and Emily dips her chin - she had the same one.

Redistributing canon lines is always a little difficult for me - I try to be as equitable as possible and give a nod to the person who originally delivered it.

Also - it’s rough to find little dialogue tags for every moment where the entire team is talking!! I always just get the dialogue down and then go back and find little opportunities to indicate movement, attention, or anything else that tells us who’s talking.

it’s so easy to get lost when you can’t “see” it!!

Hotch pauses the video, turning toward the rest of you - loosely circled around the table. “All the killings are mid-day. Single gunshot to the head with a .22.”

“Any witnesses?” As always, JJ looks for somewhere to go as soon as wheels are down.

She really doesn’t get paid enough.

There’s something odd in her voice and temperament this morning, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Now that you’re really awake and looking around, everyone's a little jumpy this morning. It doesn't help that the two most grounded people on the team are the most absent-minded of you all.

Yes, I'm including a bit of the really cool connection between Hotch and JJ - they’re such outliers

“No.”

Spencer pipes up. “.22-caliber pistol’s only 152 decibels. New York streets and subways are routinely well over a hundred.”

“So,” you ask, “could it be such that possible witnesses don’t even clock it before the unsub’s already on their way?”

Spencer nods.

Derek shifts beside you. “They sound like mob hits.”

Aaron dips his chin, but says, “Except none of them have ties to organized crime.”

The rest of the facts and questions fly past you - no connection between victims, no communication or contact, surveillance footage that shows next to nothing, an establishment that the unsub is bold and well-trained.

Seems completely random.

Spencer voices your next thought. “Son of Sam all over again.”

So reading this back really makes me want to brush up my knowledge on the Son of Sam case - I read about it years ago and have almost entirely forgotten about it. Hmm.

If I read through it I’ll probably liveblog it or something if anyone’s interested!

The grim look on Aaron’s face tells you all you need to know.

+++

Derek, Penelope, and Emily shoot the shit as they get on the plane, but you notice JJ staring forlornly out the window. You resolve to discover what that’s about as soon as possible. Having her down was odd…

...But she has been acting strange lately, not just today.

You sit beside Hotch, across from Reid as Rossi flips through photos of the victims.

Spencer makes astute observations about the continued pattern of, well, no pattern at all, while Hotch provides some remarks here and there.

One of them catches your attention. “It’s a joint FBI-NYPD taskforce?”

Yeah, because those always go over so well.

If I had a dime for anytime law enforcement agencies in a TV show refused to cooperate, I’d be the richest person alive (suck it, Bezos!)

And if I had a dime for anytime law enforcement agencies in real life refused to cooperate, I’d have an even BIGGER pile of money lmao

“Kate Joyner heads up the New York field office. She’s running point on the case and called me directly.” He calls out to JJ, who then informs the pilot you’re all ready to get wheels up. “Kate’s starting to butt heads with the local detectives and wanted a fresh set of eyes.”

There’s something in his voice you can’t place. History, maybe?

Another one of those “Reader sees right through Hotch” moments. I’ve always thought the connection between them presents itself in such a way that they can look at each other and find something deeper.

It’s like they’re looking in the mirror, but instead of seeing their own reflection, they see something that is as familiar as their own reflection, rather than something identical.

“Joyner, I know her,” Derek says. “She’s a Brit, right?”

Hotch shrugs. “Well, dual citizenship. Her father’s British, her mother’s American. She was a big deal at Scotland Yard before coming to the Bureau.”

You look over at him.

That’s a ridiculous amount of knowledge for someone who doesn’t work in the same state, Aaron.

Bitter, much, Reader? Jealous, perhaps? Hmm.

“I heard she can be a little bit of a pain in the ass.” It’s a test. The defiant tip of Derek’s chin tells you as much.

Hotch takes the bait. “I didn’t think so.”

You can’t help it. “You know her?”

“We liaised when she was still at Scotland Yard.”

You look at Emily, who shrugs.

“And she’s good?” You wouldn’t call Dave’s tone skeptical, but if you didn’t know any better, you’d say it was another test. He’s a lot subtler than Morgan.

Hotch looks back at Dave. “I think we’re lucky to have her.”

Yeah, I’m sure you do, Aaron. Sure.

I LOVED exploring this dynamic between the team and Aaron and his defense of Kate. I really wish we had more information about their past. I made one up, anyway, but having something (anything) in canon would have been very illuminating.

+++

You all step out of the elevator, and you stay closest to JJ. Her absent-mindedness had yet to leave her, and as the person closest to her age, you were doing your best to support her with your presence alone.

JJ leans toward you as you approach the center of the office. “Is it just me or does she look -”

“- exactly like Haley?” You finish JJ’s thought. “Yeah.”

I REALLY wanted to have Reader be right there with JJ when this happened. I love a finished-sentence moment, and this seemed like a great opportunity to put one in.

There’s a little smile you can see on Aaron’s face, just touching his profile. Agent Joyner has one too, and it makes you feel...something.

Whatever it is, it isn’t comfortable.

Damn, Reader. You really aren’t acknowledging your feelings, are you?

Ah, well. It’ll be another few years before you figure that one out.

“Kate.”

“Aaron. How’ve you been?”

You take another glance at JJ. She seems to have the same thought as you.

First name basis? How close are they?

“Well, thank you. This is my team.” He introduces you all one by one, and you attempt to plaster a polite smile on your face, just like everyone else. Derek’s the only one who doesn’t make an effort, and you tap the side of his shoe with your foot.

The friendship between Reader and Derek strikes again! That was another fun element to explore in this installment, especially when tensions get high.

Penelope gets settled right away, and the NYPD detectives approach shortly after that. Of course, they start with a snide remark at Spencer. Your hackles rise, and you take a little huff of a breath.

Calm down.

Even though Spencer is a year (or at least a couple of months) older than Reader for the sake of the timeline, I’d like to think there’s a protective element that flows both ways in their relationship.

Kate introduces Detectives Brustin and Cooper. Dave gets right to the point, doing his best to establish baseline rapport.

It doesn’t work.

You don’t notice that you’ve crept closer to Aaron throughout the proceedings, now standing just off his shoulder, next to Emily, until Kate leans into him. “Can I have a word with you in private?”

The crumpling of your brow is quick, and you hope nobody noticed. Emily’s head, whirling around to look at Derek, is far less subtle.

I love that Emily is simultaneously the best liar (sometimes) and also about as subtle as a gun.

“Sure.”

Emily tracks back to JJ, who looks confused. In a hushed and suggestive tone, she tells her, “They...liaised when she was at Scotland Yard.”

You hide your laugh in your shoulder, covering your movement with an attempt to adjust your backpack.

Derek steps up behind you. “Let me get that for you, kiddo.”

Somewhere along the line I got soft and Derek just started calling Reader “kiddo” and never stopped.

You look up at him, hard-pressed to keep your mirth to yourself. A little smile plays at the edge of his lips as well. He turns you around when he’s done pretending to be helpful, holding you in the little huddle that develops between the rest of you and the NYPD detectives.

Derek’s eyes keep flickering to Kate’s office, where she and Hotch chat informally and perhaps even fondly, to an extent. Heat rises in your cheeks.

Get over yourself.

Will Reader admit love for Hotch? NO! Does it affect them every moment of every day? YES!

+++

You attempt to ignore the sheer amount of time Aaron spends looking over Kate’s shoulder behind her desk. Tearing your eyes from her office window, you return to your task.

The whiteboard marker in your hand is seeing lots of use as you follow Spencer’s instructions, tracing lines between key points, making notes, etc. Cooper’s banter with Emily puts a little smile on your face.

I adore Cooper. I think he’s such a great character and I was really sad that he never came back. I feel like he’s Emily’s Blackwolf - there’s a fun and actually challenging banter between them that’s really special. I wish we had more of it.

“Anti-geographical profiling? Now you wonder why we’re so skeptical?” Cooper’s voice is full of play, but there’s a very real concern behind it.

Emily laughs, but then explains, “This unsub’s organized. He strikes at the same time of day, he knows where the cameras are placed. That means he’s doing his own surveillance.”

You offer your two cents in support of Spencer, who outlines the difference between need-motivated killers and organized killers. Cooper looks a little impressed by the time you add, “So, essentially, we need to look everywhere this unsub isn’t to find where he lives. He has a comfort zone, and we just have to find it.”

“What are we finding?” Hotch and Kate roll out of her office, and he settles beside you, peering at the map.

He’s drawn to Reader like a magnet and Kate 100% notices.

You look over your shoulder at him. “He’s organized, so we’ve redirected to an anti-geographical profile.”

“Keep looking.” He turns on his heel and walks out the door, Kate trailing behind him with a confidence that tightens your jaw.

Maybe Derek was right. Maybe she is a pain in the ass.

+++

You keep your eyes up as Rossi and Hotch inspect the body on the busy New York street. Your mind wanders to a lecture at the academy, the voice of the late Jennifer Shepard echoing through your head.

“Always watch the watchers.”

For those of you that caught this reference - well done!! It’s an NCIS reference to Gibbs’s rules, and Jenny Shepard is THE Jenny Shepard.

I wanted to open a back door to link the NCIS world with the CM world and give us the crossover episode of which we were deprived.

But then again, she’d always backed it up with another story about “the man with all the rules” to undermine the rules in question. The stories did more than make you laugh - they helped you remember.

I love the thought of Jenny making fun of Gibbs behind his back. Their relationship is so special to me and I am very excited to include a lil bit of our favorite MCRT in this universe.

(If you’re not into NCIS, no worries! Their inclusion will be few and far between, with very little context necessary.)

“See anything?” Hotch looks up, not at you, but you know you have his attention.

You shake your head, your eyes still on the crowd. “Nothing obvious.”

He hums, and tunes back in as Derek says, “From the placement of that camera, odds are the only view they’re gonna get is the back of his head.”

“Let’s not be too quick to decide what we do or don’t have.” Kate meets Derek’s eyes and stares him down. You bristle, but Hotch turns just the smallest bit toward you, reminding you to behave.

Another silent conversation? Absolutely.

The detective makes another snide remark as Kate brushes past the rest of you.

Derek turns toward Hotch, and you step back, giving them the illusion of privacy. “You mind telling me why I’m catching attitude from her?”

Because you’re better at your job? Because you don’t have a chip on your shoulder the size of the Atlantic? Because you probably haven’t maybe slept with our unit chief, maybe?

“FBI brass has made it clear to her that if she doesn’t bring this case home, she’s gonna be reassigned. And you are at the top of the list to replace her.”

“You’re kidding me.”

Aaron squints a little, but his words are deeply genuine. “Why should you be surprised? You’re good at your job. People notice that.”

Okay the way that Aaron actually takes a second to acknowledge Morgan in this scene is amazing. I love it. It just brings so much joy to my heart.

Even though Hotch is totally being an asshole this episode and clearly playing favorites, he really delivers this line in a way that makes it sound like most obvious think in the world. Like “of course, morgan. you’re so good at this why wouldn’t people notice” and the implication is that he notices and in conclusion, i’m soft.

He’s right.

“What happened to the Bureau patting itself on the back from stealing her away from Scotland Yard?”

Hotch shakes his head and sighs. “I don’t know. Politics here are different. And you can see she doesn’t pull punches.” He walks away, and Derek looks over his shoulder at you.

With a little smile, you say, “He’s right, you know.”

“You’re a terrible ass-kisser, kid.”

Nevertheless, he taps your shoulder with his knuckle and you both make your way to Rossi, examining a tarot card.

I LOVE READER AND DEREK!!!

+++

“We’ve got more than one unsub.” Hotch’s tone is more than defeated, and you peer further over his shoulder, your fingers pressing lightly into the back of his arm for balance.

I just had to include some kind of casual touching here because it’s just my favorite thing in the whole world.

Rossi circles the desk. “So, we have more than one unsub. What does that tell us?”

“Most teams stick together,” Spencer says. “Ng and Lake. The Krays. Bittaker and Norris. They don’t usually kill separately.”

Derek is next, offering, “Could be some kind of gang initiation.”

Emily and JJ volley about gang operations and local task forces for a moment before Kate asks. “Do you think we have enough for a working profile?”

You startle a little. She’s closer than you thought, on the other side of Hotch. You lean around him, the soft wool of his suit sleeve still under your fingers. “Broad strokes, maybe. Nothing specific, yet.”

Hotch makes a few assignments, but you’re focused on Derek. As you suspected, he has an idea. “I think we should get out on the streets.”

This is one of my favorite moments in all of CM. I think it’s such an incredible microcosm of Derek and Aaron’s relationship, both personally and professionally.

Also unsurprising, Kate has an immediate rebuttal. “I brought you here to create a profile.”

“Which we can give in the morning, and they can share it with the afternoon shift.”

She huffs. “We’ve allocated every extra man we have.” You don’t miss the warning glance Hotch shoots Derek or the way Derek ignores it. That was a fun catch on my third rewatch trying to write this episode. “This is New York City. It’s not like adding a few more people is gonna blanket the city.”

“I understand it’s a long shot. But these guys, they hit at mid-day. We could target ingress and egress to particular neighborhoods. Position us near express stops - 14th, 42nd, 59th -”

“Morgan. It’s not your call.” Hotch’s rebuke is sharp, surprising.

You inhale sharply and tuck your lip between your teeth, retracting your hand.

Touch is a really important element to me in this story. Every touch is a conscious choice, and it always means something. When touch is added or removed between Hotch and Reader, something has changed.

This is gonna be a long case.

+++

Thankfully, you’re all headed back to the hotel in fairly short order. Hotch has all but ordered Kate to bed, and you try not to let your thoughts stray too far in response.

Spencer’s eyes wander up, and you follow them. “JJ -”

Will?

You’d only met him once but like him well enough. He was polite, pleasant, and even funny. Seeing as you hadn’t heard much about him in the last few months, you assumed JJ had broken it off.

Guess not.

I love Will. Like as much as I love Jemily and Jotch, Will is just so normal? It’s kind of refreshing.

I also love how he does what Derek can’t do until season 11 and Hotch can’t do at all - he puts her before his career and I just adore him for it.

She turns. “Will.”

“Hey,” he says, “took a shot and flew to D.C. but it didn’t work. I figured I’d train up to New York - only a few more hours.”

Will LionsMagne with the crazy accent saying things really tickles me, y’all. He really do be talking absolute nonsense.

Hotch looks a little surprised, which probably means you do too. He extends his hand. “Detective.”

Will takes it. “I’m sorry for showing up like this. I know you’re working. But, um…” He drops his voice. “I can’t stand you being on this case and me not being here - not with what’s going on.”

You look at JJ, who looks a little uncomfortable, and then Hotch, who looks a little confused. Aaron’s the first one to speak, and you’re more than a little touched by the concern in his voice as he addresses JJ and JJ alone. “Is there a problem?”

Oop! Posessive!Protective!Hotch makes an appearance!

Will dips his head, and you know he’s disappointed.

What the hell is going on?

She turns toward the team. With a little laugh, she says, “I’m pregnant.”

Hotch freezes, and you step close to him as Emily congratulates her. Will extends his hand and Hotch shakes it again. “I’ve asked JJ to marry me.”

JJ whirls around, and there’s a warning in her voice. “Will.”

“We’re, ah, working out some kinks.”

Yeah, I’m sure you are.

“We’ll, um” Aaron says, coming back to himself, “give you both some privacy.” He nods and steps away. You follow close behind him, but you fall back as JJ hops after him.

“Hotch -”

There’s something in his voice you’ve never heard before when he replies. “JJ, you could have told me.” He almost sounds...hurt? Your brow crumples, and you try to stay out of his eye line as they chat.

If I didn’t shove my foot in the Jotch door here, I wouldn’t be me, now would I?

There is absolutely NO platonic explanation for Hotch’s reaction in this scene. It’s so much more than a boss/colleague relationship in this moment. He’s so human and so affected by the news that it’s almost impossible for me to believe he doesn’t feel anything more for JJ.

So even in this universe, as much as he loves Reader, young!JJ is a hot commodity.

Pin that for later...

“I know.”

“I understand if you need to take some time.”

“No, I want to be here.” She’s firm in her conviction, and you can’t say you’d be any different if you were in any similar situation - injury, illness, otherwise.

“Okay. Seven AM.”

She nods and turns back to Will while Hotch continues toward the elevators. The rest of the team passes ahead of you, leaping into the open lift. Aaron hangs back and you follow his lead, letting the doors close.

Reader always knows when to stay.

“Are you okay?”

He sighs. “Yeah. Just unexpected.”

Taking a little leap, you step close to him in a show of camaraderie. He’d never let on, but he needs contact sometimes. You might even go so far as to say the poor man is touch-starved.

That’s the understatement of the century.

He wraps his arm around you, and you bite back a pleased smile, feeling more than a little chuffed. You examine his profile. “What’s on your mind?”

Remember when I was talking about the significance of touch? Yep.

His shrug says many things. His sigh says more.

“Yeah,” you say. “I know.”

I didn’t add silent dialogue here, because I think even if Hotch tried, he wouldn’t know what to communicate, even non-verbally. It’s the emotional center of his tells that really

+++

“We’re not having that discussion, right now.” Hotch’s cutoff is flat, and it shoots irritation through you.

Your brow furrows, and you sputter for a second before turning on him. “What’s with you? That’s like the sixth time you’ve shut me down today.”

Hotch opens his mouth to reply, but before he can, Kate’s voice chirps from behind you.

“Are all your younger agents this insubordinate, Aaron, or is it limited to this one?”

This is the soundbyte that popped into my head when I first thought to write this episode!! Kate making a stink about Reader’s age in addition to clearly and deliberatly misunderstanding the relationship with Hotch was a critical breaking point for me.

You grit your teeth, and blatantly ignore the apology blossoming in Hotch’s eyes as you say, “Excuse me, sir.” You turn your head, not quite looking at Kate. “Agent Joyner.” You brush past Hotch, almost shoulder-checking him, and leave the room. The door shuts loudly behind you.

I NEEDED Hotch to apologize, or at least try to, before Reader left the room. He realized in that moment that he’s opened a door for Kate to cross the line he’s already stepped on and given precedent for her to treat his team with the same harshness he has.

Mans is learning!!

Derek looks up, and you wave him off as he rises to follow.

Throwing the stairway door open, you fly down two flights of stairs before sitting heavily upon the landing. You throw your blazer off, the heat under the fabric only fueling your anger.

Your hands cover your face and you manage three deep breaths before tears press in at your eyes. Molten humiliation courses through you, your face hot and hands shaking.

It’s not fair to expect Kate to understand the rapport you have with Hotch, why you can push him inexplicably further than the rest of your team. This was stuck a struggle to articulate and I was SO happy when I finally got it! It’s not fair, but you still feel betrayed by Hotch’s accommodation of her insecurity and Kate’s own ridiculousness.

The lack of sleep doesn’t help.

A few relevant thoughts regarding the profile float through your head and you pin them for later.

The door opens two floors above, and you hear Aaron’s familiar footsteps hesitate before they slowly descend to your level. You keep your face pressed into your hands as he sits beside you, resting his arms on his knees.

The addition of an audio input here, instead of a visual one, was important to me. I needed everyone to feel that they implicitly know when it’s the other approaching them on sound alone.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you today.”

You sniff, but don’t answer. He waits for you, a few minutes passing in silence, but you don’t have anything to say.

“I’ve done my best to make Kate feel supported, but I -” he huffs, and you know he’s working hard to properly articulate his feelings. You appreciate it. “I’ve failed both you and Morgan in the process. I’ve explained the situation to him, but I didn’t speak to you before I…” He trails off. “For that, I’m sorry.”

He works so hard :’)

I love that Hotch got better about articulating his emotions and asking for help as the seasons go on. He’s still absolute shit at it, but looking back, he was so much worse.

You drop your hands from your face, wiping at the evidence of your anger. “Just...remember who’s on your team, would you?”

“I do.”

“Then -” You throw your arms up and huff at him, his response inspiring a new wave of irritation in your chest. “Then why the fuck are you riding my ass about this shit today? You haven’t taken a single one of my ideas, and all but one has been really good.”

He sighs. “I know. I also know that you can take it. I trust you to be resilient in difficult political situations such as this one. I don’t have that same trust in Kate right now.” He pauses and you watch his left thumb worry a track back and forth over the knuckle of his middle finger. I love this particular habit of Tom’s that snuck its way into Hotch’s characterization. I always try to note it when I can. Your eyes wander to the barely-noticeable tan line where his wedding ring used to sit. With a start, you realize you didn’t notice its absence and you don’t know when he took it off. When he speaks again, your eyes snap back to your feet. “Your ability to step away instead of rightfully lashing out at Kate speaks to your excellence and professionalism in your role, and shows me my faith is not misplaced.”

“My faith is not misplaced” was another line I’ve been waiting to use!

You look at him, finding his brown eyes soft and apologetic. “Thanks.”

He grabs your blazer off the ground and stands. He straightens his suit jacket, offering you a hand. You take it and rise, using the back of your other hand to rid yourself entirely of tears.

With gentle hands, he slips your blazer over your shoulders, fixing the collar and brushing debris off the back. You let him fuss, knowing all the while his concern is another apology.

I love all the little ways Hotch apologizes, in canon and in my world here. He’s so shit at expressing himself that, just like his smiles, you have to look for his “sorrys” in other ways.

“It’s far too organized to be just organized crime, by the way,” you inform him casually, as if remarking on the weather.

The trope of “I’m not mad at you anymore so I’m gonna casually solve this case real quick” is one of my favorites.

He looks almost startled. “What?”

You tug on his arm and take the stairs two at a time back up to Kate’s floor. “Look.” He follows you as you burst back through both sets of doors into the conference room, stepping in front of Kate for access to the map. “We have more than one unsub. They’ve attacked different neighborhoods across Manhattan - all different demographic and socio-economic backgrounds. They’re trying to send a message, and each attack is a play to build their audience. If anything, our presence tells them that it’s working.”

I rehearsed this mini-logue in my head for AGES before writing it down. These are always fairly difficult for me - I want to put it in Reader’s “voice” (meaning, not anyone else’s) while staying true to the pattern and linguistic profile (if you’ll forgive me) of the show.

A look of realization crosses Hotch’s face, and he presses a hand to your shoulder, his fingertips squeezing just a little before he lets go. “Well done.” He turns to Kate. “We’re ready to update the working profile.”

Reader redeemed herself and I simply couldn’t have Kate be a graceful “loser” here. We’ve already seen her have far too much pride and ego for her own good.

You keep your eyes trained on Aaron, but Kate’s clenched jaw doesn’t escape your notice.

+++

“Focused? From where I’m standing, your focus is on her.”

It’s finally come to a head. Derek has absolutely lost it, rightfully so, in the middle of the federal building, while Hotch tries to keep the peace, and Kate looks appropriately chastised.

This is my favorite verbal fight in almost all of Criminal Minds. Derek goes OFF and I am so proud of him for it because he’s sO RIGHT

You reach for Derek’s elbow with gentle fingers, but he shakes you off.

“Take a walk. Now.” Aaron’s tone is nothing to trifle with, and it sends a shiver down your spine.

Fuck.

U know when Hotch get’s into that “do the math” “sit down and shut up” or “try hARDER” tone that things hit the fan, but its’ the quiet anger that really gets me in this scene.

“Derek. C’mon.” You yank once on his sleeve and lead him out the doors. He’s pissed, almost vibrating with energy.

You look over your shoulder exactly once to check on Aaron, who leans heavily over a desk. When he looks up, you turn your head before he can meet your gaze.

Yes, it’s a punishment. Yes, he knows it. He'll get your attention once he’s earned it again.

Derek cools off a little once you get outside, and he leads the way to the hotel bar. You’re sure you'd be better off returning to your post upstairs, but he needs you more than anyone else right now.

You also don’t trust yourself to be in the same room as Aaron - the likelihood of losing your usually-endless patience with him is dangerously high. At this rate, you’d get yourself a first-class ticket to Suspension City - at worst ending with your removal from the unit.

There was no way on this green earth that you’d end up off the unit of Hotch had any say, but your exhausted brain was only giving you the worst-case scenario at the moment.

Even tired!Reader know’s he’ll never let them leave :’)

Fun Fact: There were so many times where I considered taking Reader off the team, but it never felt quite right.

He sits heavily on a barstool and orders a Stella. You don’t comment on his choice to drink while on the clock. You take a water, and wait for him to speak. He doesn’t touch his beer.

“Thanks for coming with me.”

“Of course.”

“You should go back.”

Looking up, you see Rossi looking through the doors. “Alright, but you’re not getting out of anything.” By the time you’ve finished, Dave is at Derek’s other side, getting comfortable. You press a hand to Derek’s shoulder, leaving them alone.

You take a few deep breaths before returning to the proper floor. Kate is in her office with Hotch over her shoulder.

He looks up when you walk in. How’s Morgan?

“He’ll be back.”

:) Aimz is right. Silent conversations make the AJF world go ‘round.

+++

You reach Emily with Derek and JJ, and she looks flustered.

“Are you okay?” Derek takes stock of Emily, but you figure out there’s nothing to know about Cooper.

Emily walks through the moments before and during the shooting, growing increasingly intense. You watch her as Derek digs and digs - finding the right questions for the answers she wants to share.

Derek is SO good at framing questions to get the answers he needs to keep going. I love him.

“Wait,” you ask. “You think he deliberately shot someone where he could be caught?”

“What if he did?” Her eyes are wild, angry. “What if they chose this spot because we were here?”

“What are you thinking?” Derek leans forward, searching her face for answers.

She enumerates her points. “He had no ID on him. He waited until We caught up to him. He was strangely calm- It’s almost like suicide by cop.”

“Why?” You hear yourself ask. “Why would he do that?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe to make us think everything was finished.”

You look at Derek. He looks back at you.

“We need to walk back through this profile.”

Just then, Aaron and Kate dip under the police tape and make a beeline for Rossi and Reid. Dave looks grim and you can’t hear what they’re saying, but you’re sure they’ve come to the same conclusion as you.

Terrorism.

+++

“So much for theory.” Dave uncrosses his arms and the room leaps into action.

Kate grabs her blazer and looks at Aaron. “We need to hit the ground running.”

“I'm gonna head to the hospital,” Emily says, already headed for the door. “I'll check on Cooper and brief detective Brustin.”

“Good.” Aaron makes the rest of the assignments. “Dave, will you go talk to the commissioner?” He assigns you and Derek to Homeland Security for a briefing, and you grab your things. You will be Derek’s shadow for the duration, and you’re more than happy you’re with him.

So why does something feel...wrong?

You look at Aaron, and his brow is furrowed. He meets your eyes. What’s wrong?

I don’t know.

His mouth presses into a thin line. This first, then that.

Did I mean to heavily imply that Reader knows something is going to happen to Hotch without really knowing it? Absolutely.

I almost had Reader go with Kate and Aaron here, but I thought the dramatic tension would be better if she went with Derek, and it also gives Hotch an excuse to give Derek a peace offering of some kind that would smooth things over between them.

You nod, and he starts talking again. “Kate and I will go talk to the mayor And we'll meet back here As soon as possible.”

“One advantage That we have right now is that they don't know we know they're watching.”

For once, you agree with Kate. It’s about damn time.

+++

You get into the car with Derek and head toward the HLS field office.

“I’m proud of you, kid. You’ve done well.”

Smiling a little, you thank him. “Though I do think we’ve pushed Hotch to the absolute limit this week, between the two of us.”

He rolls his eyes, speeding down the shockingly barren New York streets. “If one of us isn’t, who is?”

“Rossi.”

You both freeze as an explosion goes off. You don’t know where it is, but Derek turns around with a spectacular screech of tires.

“Derek...What -”

“We’re going back. That’s not good. Let’s go.” He guns the engine, and you’re on your way back to the federal building with sirens blaring.

HERE WE GO!! THE PHONE CALL!

This was hell to write and I was SO afraid it would be confusing, but I’m fairly pleased by how it turned out.

His phone rings and he checks the caller ID as he answers. “Yeah. I'm still here.” He looks at you. “We’re still here.”

“Yes, you are. Thank God.”

Garcia.

“I'm almost back at the federal building. What the hell's going on?”

“Alright, we're going over the closed-circuit footage right now.” You can hear her faintly through the phone, and he puts her on speaker.

“Who else have you checked on?”

“You're the first. Rossi and Reid called me.”

“All right. Keep me on the line while you check on everyone else.”

Emily picks up next. “Is everyone ok?”

Garcia tells her she’s got the both of you on the line, and she’s already spoken to Rossi and Reid.

Your body is almost completely bowed toward Derek, twisted in the passenger seat. “Emily, where are you?”

“I'm following detective Brustin to one of the NYPD’s Critical Incident Command Posts.”

“One of them?” Garcia’s confusion is only a little frantic, and you more than sympathize with her tangent. Anything is a better thought than the one you’re all sharing at this very moment.

Derek explains the decentralization of the CICP’s following 9/11 - too many eggs in one basket.

Garcia cuts him off, getting back on track. “Has anyone talked to JJ?”

Emily answers her. “She was headed back to the hotel.”

“In an SUV?

“I think so. Stay with me a minute. I'll dial her mobile.”

JJ’s voicemail rings through Derek’s phone, and your heart sinks. “This is Agent Jareau, Communications Director for the FBI’s Behavioral--” It cuts off.

You lean over the center console. “What was that? What happened?”

Garcia’s voice is flustered when she answers, “It went dead mid-message.”

“Try her again. She's probably back at--” You lose Emily.

You lost all of them in the middle of a sentence, and all the blood drains out of your face. Derek drops his phone into one of the cupholders and reaches out. You grab his hand, holding it in both of yours.

Physical Touch!

This is a nightmare.

Derek keeps driving, and you find a police barricade on your way back to the federal building. Derek throws the car into park and you both leap out of the car, flashing your badges at anyone who will look. You find the man in charge, but he tells you to get back to the federal building.

Hot anger flies through you.

Who does he think he is?

You stick close to Derek, but startle when you hear Hotch cry out. Pressing along the barricade, you call across the block. “Aaron! Aaron! We’re here!”

You get leave to go, and you and Derek sprint toward Aaron and Kate. He’s covered in blood, both his and Kate’s and you get on one side of him while Derek crouches on the other side of Kate. Your hands flutter over him for a moment, one of them landing on the nape of his neck. The softness of his hair is the same as it’s always been, and it grounds you.

PHYSICAL TOUCH!

“Aaron -”

He’s not looking at you. “Morgan, we've got to get her out of here.”

Derek throws his arm out of the side, outlining the situation. “They're not letting any ambulances down here till they clear the scene.” He turns to the “Kid, you gotta get behind the barricades. Let's go. Go!”

“Go, Sam.”

“Good luck.” The kid sprints off, and Derek draws Hotch’s focus again.

“Talk to me. Can we carry her?” He leans further over Kate, into Aaron’s eye line. “Hotch, can we carry her?”

“No, I tried. Morgan, she's gonna bleed to death if we don't get her out of here. We gotta do something.” The ache in his voice is horrible. You reach out, brushing some hair off Kate’s forehead. She’s cold to the touch, and you press your hand to the side of her face, willing your warmth into her.

“C’mon Kate.” You whisper to yourself. She’s still not your favorite person, but Aaron’s agony as he literally holds her body together tears your heart in two.

Not gonna say shit about shit, but this motif is coming back :)

Derek’s phone rings, and it’s Penelope. “Garcia, I got Hotch. But listen to me. You gotta get somebody down here right away, you hear me? Right now. What? You're absolutely sure?” Derek looks up, finding the kid standing by the shelled remains of the car. “Hotch. The kid. He's the bomber.”

“Go.” Aaron’s voice is defeated, and you hesitate as your body coils to chase after Derek. Aaron looks at you. “Please. Stay.”

I needed Reader to stay with Hotch because....I mean....there’s nobody else he’d ask

You nod, and tuck in close to him, keeping one hand on his arm and another on Kate’s cheek. An ambulance pulls up, and you’re more than relieved.

Hotch briefs the paramedic. “She's got an arterial bleed in her back and I'm doing my best to hold it closed.

“You ok?”

Isn’t that the question of the hour.

“I just want to get her out of here.”

That’s not a fucking answer, Aaron.

You let it go, for now. He’s a mess, but he’s alive and he’s conscious. That’s what’s important right now. You tune back in.

“You were calling for help and I couldn't listen anymore. My partner was too afraid to come in here with me.”

Aaron leans into Kate, and your heart pulls again. “Kate, we're gonna get you out of here. We're on our way out of here.”

You help as much as you can, following instructions and making sure Kate’s stable.

+++

When you’re all finished, you get into the passenger seat of the ambulance. Hotch is on autopilot and he shouldn’t be driving, but you’re ready to take over at a moment’s notice.

When you’re stopped at the emergency room entrance, you flash your credentials as Hotch explains the situation as clearly as he can. The Secret Service agent reluctantly waves you through. Kate’s crashing in the back, and Aaron’s agitation flies through the roof.

It’s a blur, but you finally end up in the hospital, shadowing Aaron. He collapses, and you cry out for help, holding his hands as he hits the ground.

Everything's happening so fast.

When will it end?

This is one of those “Stop the ride I want to get off” days where everything seems to just be flying at you all at once and it feels neverending.

You know, like the state of the world right now (at least in the USA lmao)

+++

“Kiddo, where’s Hotch?” Derek comes flying through the doors of the ER, and you throw yourself into him.

“He’s fine. Massive trauma to his right ear and a shrapnel wound. Kate’s in surgery.”

There’s a commotion from behind the open door, and you both rush in when you hear Hotch’s voice.

You get in between Hotch and the attending, doing your best to calm him down. “Aaron, Hotch. Calm down. Slow down. You’re really hurt.”

The concern makes me soft.

“Where’s Kate?”

You press your hands into his wrists, and he twists his arms, surprising you by gripping your forearms. PHYSICAL TOUCH! “She’s in surgery. Your go-bag is on its way. Nothing’s happened since the first blast.”

He looks somewhat placated but looks over at Derek. “Sam?”

“He’s dead.”

Hotch releases you. “Morgan, the profile's wrong. Call JJ.”

+++

“Are you ok?”

Yeah. I just want to understand why I'm still alive.” You help him with his vest, minding his shoulder. I needed someone to help Hotch with his vest in this scene and I’m so glad Reader was right there to help him ;) You’re not sure what’s wrong with it, but he’s favoring one over the other. He looks at you, and there are thanks in his brown eyes. You offer him a quick, soft smile but continue with your task, gently tightening the vest around his tender ribs, smoothing over the velcro with even pressure.

You’re listening as they go along, talking signatures and bomb-making and all manner of horrific precedent. You pass two pieces of fresh cotton to Hotch, who immediately replaces the bloodied cotton in his right ear. He shakes his head with two deep blinks.

ACTS OF SERVICE!

His ears are ringing something stupid right now, I bet.

I wish I could do more.

Just be here. Do your job. That’s what you can do.

The way Reader has picked up on the things they KNOW Hotch will tell them? Immaculate.

All at once, you figure out that the ambulance is the bomb. You spot Hotch as he moves (way too fast) down the hallway.

Goddamn it, Aaron.

I’ll take “Constant Frustration Regarding Your Injured Boss” for 800, Alex.

+++

The bastard slit his throat.

Fuck.

The look on Aaron’s face is nothing short of disgust, and you’re sure yours matches.

I was going to do more for this scene, but realized I didn’t need it. Who knew!

+++

You’re waiting for him when he walks out of the operating room. His eyes are hollow and they seem to look through you rather than at you.

“Hotch - Aaron - I’m so sorry.”

Take note of the use of first names in discussion with these two. It’s less significant in narration, but there’s always an intention when they’re speaking aloud to each other.

You didn’t particularly like Kate (who does?), but you know how much he cared for her. His pain often feels like yours - even more frequently, you can't parse his from yours. While you didn’t expect to mourn her, you find that weight in your belly anyway. Your eyes mist up against your will, your breath hitching in your throat.

I love that his emotions affect Reader’s in such a real way. I wanted to lay the groundwork for 100 here and I don’t think I have to tell you why lmao

He doesn’t say anything, and your voice is almost desperate when you ask, “What can I do?”

Brown eyes flicker around the room. He looks more like a caged animal in this moment than in any other you’ve ever seen. You approach him slowly, and you’re not sure if he heard you. There’s still blood on his neck from his ear, and you’re terrified he’s lost his hearing for good.

“Aaron?”

He finally acknowledges you when you’re close enough to him to take his hand. You catch him as he wilts, pressing a hand to the back of his head as he tucks his head into your neck.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Aaron.”

He mumbles something into your shoulder, and you lean back, holding him up with your hands on his biceps.

“What?”

“Call Haley. Tell her, please. They got along really well. She’d want to know.”

!!!!!!!!!! THIS MOMENT SURPRISED ME!!!!!!!

You nod and guide him to a chair. He sits heavily, tilting his head against the wall. Pulling your phone from your belt, you ask, “Do you want me to stay here?”

He nods, his eyes closed.

I’m soft.

You dial the familiar number and hold the phone to your ear, settling down on his left so he can hear.

I love that the Hotchner house/Jess’s house is a familiar number :’) That detail kind of flowed out and I was really only aware of it when I was proofreading.

Haley answers the phone, a question at the end of your name.

“Yeah, Haley, it’s me. Hi.”

“Hi. Is everything okay?”

You look at Aaron, who’s still and quiet beside you. “Not really.”

“I heard about the bombing in New York, the murders...Is everyone alright?”

“We’re alright. Aaron’s fine - some mild injuries but nothing serious.”

“Okay?” You hear the unspoken question. Then why are you calling?

“I was told you’d - um.” You take a deep breath, and it catches. Aaron flips his hand palm-up on his knee, and you take it. PHYSICAL TOUCH!! “I was told you were close with Kate Joyner, from the New York field office. She used to be at Scotland Yard?”

“Oh, yes, of course!” Her voice falters. “Wait. Oh, God…”

“Haley I’m so sorry.” You swallow some tears. “I’m so sorry, but she was killed in the bombing.”

You hear a shaky breath on the other side of the line. “Oh.” There’s a pause, and you suspect she has more to say. You’re right. “Aaron told you to call, didn’t he?”

“Yes.”

She sighs. “Can I talk to him?”

You look over and he nods, releasing your hand and holding it out. “Yeah, he’s right here.” She says something else, and you put the phone back to your ear. “Sorry, what was that?”

“I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for telling me.”

I love Haley. I do. I love her.

I’m SO mad at her but I love her.

You nod to yourself. “Of course. Here’s Aaron.”

He takes the phone from you. An exhausted, “Hi,” leaves him.

“Oh my God, I’m so glad you’re alright.”

A little smile pulls at his lips. I love how much he loves her. Even thought their marriage didn’t work because they wanted/needed different things from each other, they love each other so much and I am so soft about it. “I’m alright. How’re you?”

Her bright laugh echoes faintly through the phone, but there’s a solemn edge to it. “You’re asking me how I am?”

His eyebrows raise, his eyes still closed. “Isn’t that polite?”

You can almost see her suppressed smile. “It is. I’m fine. Jessica and I just finished dinner and put Jack down for the night.”

“How’s Jack?”

You tune out, the exhaustion taking over. Aaron pats the seat on his other side and you shuffle around, tucking yourself under his open arm. I am so soft for this lil moment, y’all. I am a SAP. Leaning against his shoulder, you close your eyes, letting the voices of two divorced people who love each other very much lull you into something that feels a little like sleep.

The End!!! I hope y’all liked this installment of commentary!!

tagging: @ssaic-jareau @qvid-pro-qvo @joanofarkansass @forgottenword @hurricanejjareau

#hurricanejjareau #tali answers stuff #tali provides commentary #tali talks cm #ajf commentary #a joyful future

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neon-caskets · 4 years

Text

No more, no less

Three X Reader from 6 Underground.

~~Three wants a relationship with the reader, but to her, the relationship is just friends with benefits. The reader is the Vegas decoy, and this brings Three’s feelings to the surface~~

TW// Blood, death, swearing (it’s a Ryan Reynolds movie, this was to be expected lmao), Four being a smooth-talker, unprotected sex, oral sex (both parties receiving), my mediocre writing lmao

Requested by anonymous: “Can you please write a Three x Reader for Six underground where he's jealous and wants a real relationship but readers just wants friends/co worker with benefits. Thank you so much! Love your blog!”

I love this idea! Hope this was something like what you wanted

(Y/n = Your Name, h/c = hair color, e/c = eye color, s/c = skin color, you get the idea lol)

“One, I swear to God, if even one of those gross old men put so much as a finger on me because of this getup...” You muttered as you stepped out of the private jet’s bathroom in your outfit. Red lingerie with intricate lace and stockings. “Well?” You pushed h/c hair behind her ears, e/c eyes avoiding the group out of awkwardness.

The other ghosts gave you a quick glance over, Three’s eyes hovering longer than they should have. None of the others knew about your secret evening meetups, what Three and Eight did in the dead of night when the two of you were alone. They, You, if you wanted to remain on the team, needed to keep it this way. He eventually pulled his eyes away from the lingerie that hugged every curve of your s/c skin.

“Do I look like a lady hired to please the four generals?” You rephrased, raising your brows.

“Definitely,” Five nodded quickly. “You really look the part...” She trailed off as a whistle interrupted her.

Four whistled at you and everyone rolled their eyes. One shook his head, “You’ve got no subtlety.”

“Because I need subtlety,” The blond-haired British parkour expert retorted. He gave you a blink-and-you-miss-it wink and commented, “You look good. Really good.”

“Keep it in your pants, Four,” Seven remarked, tossing you a red dress that would cling to your skin. “I’ll go set up a sniper nest.” He left quickly after, duffel bag with a sniper rifle inside in his hand.

You slid the dress on over your head and asked Four, “Zip me up?”

As the others busied themselves for the job, Four placed one hand on your hip from behind and the other on the zip of your dress, whispering so softly that only you could hear, “Honestly, Eight, I could, but really I just want to take it off you again.” Four did love to be suggestive.

You didn’t notice the look of sheer jealousy being shot towards you and Four from Three. He was barely able to bite his tongue as he put on his disguise and prosthetics and hid away his handgun.

Four knew to behave and zipped up your dress. He passed you a smile that reminded you just how hot you looked right now in your sexy little number, and then he left to prepare for his part of the job too.

Three watched as you left the jet and headed towards the Las Vegas hotel and racetrack. To say he was jealous was an understatement.

~~A little later~~

You tagged along with the other ladies heading to the hotel room of the Turgistan generals. It was your job to find the one that knew the most about where the brother of the Turgistan dictator was being held, get him away from the others, and keep him busy whilst Two and Three cleared the room and neutralized potential threats.

The generals weren’t exactly eye candy. Three was sweet and, as you’d discovered, definitely hit the spot. These four older men were a little less pleasant. When the leading lady introduced the group as a ‘gift’ to the generals, you tried not to gag.

There were six ladies including you, so you hopped onto the glass table at the side of the lush hotel suite and held the knuckle of your index finger between your lipstick red lips as the other women started showing off their lingerie in a strip show for the generals. You crossed one leg over the other as you observed not the scene of ladies hired to please these men, but the room itself. With a keen ear, you heard one of the generals tell another in a thick Turgistan accent, “What a reward for what you know! Do you think we would be getting this reward if you weren’t so knowledgable on our leader’s brother?”

In their racy lingerie, the ladies split up, two to two men, one to another, and you hopped down from the table and placed yourself in front of the man who you decided probably knew the most. A false smile crawled over your lips, but a joyous one formed on his face. You led him to the enormous bedroom, leaving your red high heels outside the door as a sign for Two and Three when they arrived.

Both you and the general looked back to the door when you heard the other women shriek and someone’s body hit the floor, but you distracted the general by holding his face in one hand and making him look at you, “Sounds like they’re having a good time.”

Fuck this. You internally died as the general started loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. Seriously, fuck this.

The door burst open, and Two and Three strode in. You sighed in relief before grabbing the general by the tie, tightening it, and shoving his face down against the bed as Three aimed a gun at him and Two handcuffed the ladies to the furniture in the living room.

“Thank God you got here when you did. There was not a chance in hell I was stripping for this dude,” You told Three, who smiled proudly. Then you gave your attention to the general, “You’re the last living general. Tell us everything you know, or we kill you too.”

“It’s too late,” He began shakily. “The deal is done. Two tons of gas, delivered by tomorrow.”

Then One, disguised as what you guessed was meant to be a biker, walked in. “Where are you keeping Rovach’s brother? Three seconds, be specific. Talk! Three... two...”

“Ni Hai Tower. Hong Kong. Penthouse.”

“... One.”

Three put a bullet through the general’s head and he fell to the floor.

“Why did Two and Three get to be tennis players and I got this?” You asked One, gesturing to your outfit.

One stared at Two then Three, “Tennis players? That’s what those disguises are?” He sighed, shaking his head, walking away.

“Your costume’s stupid too, motorcycle dick!” Three called after him. You sighed heavily, hanging your head back tiredly. You followed Two and Three out to help them handcuff the other women to the furniture and drag the bodies of the generals into a neat pile in the corner.

Two then, graciously, told you that she was able to carry on from here and that your shoes would trail the blood out, so she took over for you. This gave you the opportunity to explore the hotel suite for a while. It was huge. Everything was expensive. In fact, it was its own enormous, fancy floor. You heard Two shout an ‘Au Revoir’ to you and Three, then she left to find One and the others.

Three startled you when he opened the door from a lounge area on the opposite side of the floor to where the generals had been killed. You noticed the thoughtful look in his eyes, like he was lost in his own mind, and you gently took his hand, “You okay?” He sighed before cupping your face with his free hand, pressing his lips to yours. This was how many of your interludes began, he would lead the way and you’d follow, but this time felt like he was leading down a different road. One that wasn’t as clear to see down. one that you couldn’t pinpoint on a map. You pulled back, “What’s going on, Three?”

“I didn’t like the way Cuatro was looking at you. He was practically undressing you with his eyes.” Three kissed your palms and continued, “And then you get sent here to be the decoy for the general? Dressed like this? It’s enough to make any man go mad, mi amor.”

You felt your chest become heavy, as if your heart started pumping liquid lead instead of blood. One recruited you because of your ability to read people, and right now, Three was an open book. You knew this was a possible side effect. You knew it was a risk. But Three was addictive, enticing. You had him once as a late-night hookup and from there you were hooked. The nights became regular meetings, in your trailer back in the Californian desert, or in his. The casual conversations when the others weren’t around slowly became conversations about what your lives were like before faking your deaths, personal things. The friendly touches when you passed, small things like a hand to a shoulder, started to feel like they sparked things in each of you; for you, they meant you were overdue a hookup with Three, but for him, they were his feelings for you blossoming. It was as you’d feared; he wanted this to be more. He wanted a relationship.

“Three... we can’t. I just... I just don’t feel the same,” You told him honestly, deciding that prolonging this would hurt him more, and you cared enough not to do that to him. Three’s eyes glazed as he processed your words. And soft as you’d tried to be, cushioning the blow that you knew would still hurt, you still felt guilt. “Three, I’m sorry.”

He dropped your hand gently, his fingers trailing out of yours slowly, hesitantly. “It’s alright.” But he was forlorn, uncertain. His eyes met yours and he then told you, “I found the biggest bed I’ve ever seen in my life, if you’re interested.”

A small smile crept up on you. “Sounds fun.”

~~Shortly after~~

One of Three’s hands was next to your head, the other against your jaw as you kissed, your back up against the wall. It was heated, passionate, needy. Three's lips locked onto your collarbone, sucking a grouping of hickeys onto your skin, kissing each one that he made. You gave Three a slight push back as you unzipped your dress and it pooled at your feet. You kicked off your heels and Three's eyes raked over her body.

"Fuck," He mumbled into another kiss, "You're gorgeous." He pulled his shirt off and dropped his pants, lifting you by the thighs towards the bed.

Three's lips met yours for another deep kiss as his hands reached behind you to unclip your bra. It was thrown to the floor quickly, and Three's mouth found your breasts, kissing a trail between them, tongue swirling around your nipple as his hand fondled the other. You arched your back as you gradually became more and more turned on. You ran your hands up Three's muscular chest as he toyed with your nipples and left love-bites across your chest.

You reached down, hand finding Three's boxers. His breath hitched in his throat as you palmed him and he got harder. Your other hand dug into his back as he sucked and nibbled the sweet spot on your collar.

Three sat up and hurriedly shuffled out of his shorts, not wanting to wait another second. He hooked his fingers to your panties and looked up at you for confirmation. You nodded and lifted your hips as Three slid your panties off of you, leaving you both totally exposed to each other.

Three sat between your legs, trailing two fingers down your inner thigh, watching the way your brows softened and your bottom lip was clamped between your teeth. You were already so wet for him. He held the apex of your thigh as he brought his head down to lick up your soaked womanhood, eliciting a desirous moan from you beneath him. Three ever so lightly kissed your clit and you gasped in response. Every kiss and lap of his tongue had a raw intensity, yet it numbed your mind. He ran one finger down your slit before pushing two inside, curling up as he continued licking at you, lapping up the wetness.

You writhed under Three as he pumped two fingers into you and continued to send tingles of electricity through your core as a coil of heat started to pool there, waiting to unravel.

And then he pulled out, licking his fingers clean of the shiny wetness that they had sustained. Slowly, he kissed from your navel, all across your stomach and chest, leaving a few more hickeys before molding his lips to yours again. It was like you both were meant for this, lips fitting together so perfectly, bodies moving in sync with each other.

Three teasingly rubbed his hard cock up and down your slick folds, loving the way you mewled and whined out his name, practically begging. Your fingers dug into Three’s back as he buried his head in the crook of your neck, breathing you in as he slowly pushed himself into you, stretching you open, filling you with warmth.

You scraped one hand up Three's back as a moan flew from your lips. Three trailed one of his hands up your other arm which was by your head and laced his fingers with yours as he thrust into you. Three's eyes flickered up to yours for a split second and a smile blossomed on his face, absorbing each detail on your face, lower lip between your teeth in pleasure. To him, you looked like a goddess. Glowing. He then took your lips against his, kissing you deeply as he started to become sloppy in his thrusts from tiring.

You held her arms around Three's neck, legs wrapped around him, making his cock hit your g-spot with each thrust. You arched your back again as the knot of heat that made a home in your abdomen grew. "I'm gonna come..."

"Come for me," Three said huskily into your ear, taking your earlobe between his teeth, nibbling lightly. A few thrusts after and the heat in you burst and you came all over Three's cock.

Three was close to his own climax and pulled out quickly, sitting on his knees. You crawled over to him and left a feather-light kiss on the tip of his cock. You pumped him a few times, licked up his full length, and took him in your mouth. You bobbed up and down on him. One of Three’s hands tugged on your hair as you took his full length in your mouth, squeezing his balls, earning a moan from Three.

"I'm close..." Three moaned as you continued bobbing on him, swirling your tongue across the head, licking away leaking pre-cum. When you felt his cock twitch in your mouth, you took him to the back of your throat, nearly gagging from the size, and Three came. You swallowed every drop, and Three fell to the bed beside you.

Three took you in his arms, both of you melting into another kiss. More gentle than the ones you just shared. It was filled with warmth. Three rubbed circles onto your hip with his thumb, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"You know," You began with a smile, fingers lightly tracing the curvature of Three's collarbone, "I have a theory."

"Oh yeah?" Three arched a brow, a small smile tugging his lips upward as he softly trailed his fingers up and down the small of your back. "What's that?"

"One only made the no-fucking rule because he's too much of an asshole to get laid."

Warm laughter filled the quiet. You liked the noise. Three nodded, his eyes finding your e/c ones. "Yeah, that is a good theory." One of Three's hands held your face as his expression softened, "What do we do now? We can't let the others know about this, can we?"

You shook your head, "No, no we can't." You sighed and lay your hands on Three's chest, "But maybe... maybe we could do this again? Not as a couple, I don’t think being a couple in this line of work is a good idea. If something happened to one of us and the other was left behind...” You sighed heavily, burying your head further into Three’s chest. “But I think we can keep having these little meetings, can’t we?”

“Of course we can,” Three nodded, humming into your hair. “But can I ask you one thing?”

You murmured a soft yes.

“Can we tell each other our names at least?”

Your reply was an even softer agreement this time as sleep tried to overpower you.

Three smiled, “I’m Javier. Javi.”

And before you drifted into a slumber protected by the strong arms enveloping you, you replied, “I’m Y/n.”

#Three #xreader #threexreader #6 underground #three x reader #six underground #6U #smut #fluff #fanfic #angst #lemon #fan fiction #jealously #jealous #Four is a smooth talker #Vegas baby

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robobiitch-archive · 4 years

Text

Mobile Rules;;

Mun Info

name: Moe Loogham

age: 21

birthday: September 25th

pronouns: She/Her

faceclaim: Deadpool, Death from AMOLAD, Rose Quartz from Steven Universe, Loki from MCU

rp experience: 8+ Years

discord: Available to Mutuals on Request!

HELLO!

I'm Moe! It's great to meet you. After taking a very long break from the tumblr rpc, I've decided to dive back in, because why the hell not. I'm a freshly graduated college kid who's trying to find her place in this world lmao.

I'm from New York, I have two beautiful guinea pigs named Sage and Rosemary and I'm a witch, that's just about everything you gotta know. In terms of RPing, I've had several muses over the years, from a few different fandoms, and Connor's brand new but I've had a lot of fun experimenting with him among friends and I wanna let him run free out here in the dumpster fire that is tumblr dot com. College has been a big part of why I drifted away from tumblr RPC, just because of time constraint, but I'm excited to be back!

My Rules have been broken up into sections. I will try to keep each section as brief as possible while still informing you of everything you need to know about how I like to run things.

Blog Etiquette + Following

This blog is PRIVATE, SELECTIVE, and MUTUAL'S ONLY and 18+.

I do not follow for a follow, and I do not follow back unless I am interested in threadding with you. If I follow your blog, it means I have read your rules and bio at the very least! I do not send in passwords, but if you have a post that you would like to direct followers to when they've read your rules, I will like it.

If we are not mutuals, you are still free to interact through asks and ask memes. i reserve the right to delete/ignore asks from mutuals and non-mutuals alike! this is mostly out of precaution, and would only be done in cases that violate privacy or cause discomfort.

I will only thread with other Roleplay/Ask blogs. Sideblogs are fine, but if your main blog is a personal, please let me know and tell me your sideblog url! If you RP off of your personal, I will not follow/thread with you. This is mainly to keep my dash organized. That being said, I will not unfollow someone just because they post OOC a lot. I know I have a tendency to do the same sometimes.

But I am not okay with personals reblogging my threads. Feel free to like them, but reblogging anything that isn't a drabble or anything with my "do not reblog" tag, it will result in a soft block. Repeated offenses will result in your blog being blocked. Reblogs make it difficult to keep track of post history.

Once again, in case it wasn't clear: I do not rp with muses via personal blogs. Things can get hectic very quickly with keeping track of threads. If you have a muse, please create a side-blog for them at the very least.

Just as a general note, I am a relatively busy person and so sometimes I will have periods of low activity. I try to be active at the VERY LEAST once a week, and sometimes I'll be able to crank out like 10 replies in one day. But real life always comes first, for me AND any of my rp partners. RPing is a hobby for me, and I don't let it stress me out. Of course, if it's been a week or two since I've replied, there's a very good chance that I've just forgotten to respond. If that happens, do not be afraid to poke me about it.

If I ever want to drop a thread, I'll let you know, and I'll very much appreciate if you do the same, but it's absolutely not required. I don't mind at all, if anything I'll usually ASK if you want to drop it and if you do, that's completely fine. The other option I have for threading is ARCHIVING, for when we have a thread that we want to put down for now, but maybe pick up again later. If you'd rather Archive a thread instead of drop it, just tell me. :)

Also!

All Icons on this blog are made/screenshotted by me or RK800ISALIVE, and my post banners were made by DENICDLIFE Please do not take them or use them!!

Shipping + Exclusivity

this entire section is very important. please read it carefully, and feel free to ask me if you don't understand something.

This isn't my first rodeo. I love shipping. I am perfectly open to shipping. HOWEVER, that is not the sole purpose of this blog. Regardless of canon, fanon, personal preference or otherwise, unless we have spoken previously about it, Connor will not be automatically shipped with your muse. This blog is OCxCanon friendly, and canon ships are fine too. But for ANY case, I ship chemistry If your muse doesn't click with mine, that's totally fine. But please don't try to force a ship on me, and do not follow me if shipping is the only thing you're looking for out of our threads.

On that note: Original Characters. They're great, I love hearing about them and seeing their depth and complexity. But if your OC has little to no history, or if their sole purpose is to flirt with Connor, please do not ask to interact. I've had too many experiences in the past with OCs whose existence is based around wanting to bang my muse and it really grates on me. It's nothing personal, I know writing only gets better with practice, but if you come to me asking to be a detective who works with Connor and that's all the information you have, I really ask that you go find another Connor to interact with.

I will only ship with your muse after discussing it out of character. IC flirting is the only exception to this, but do not get angry if Connor does not respond the way you want him to.

I don't want to have to put that there, but it's happened to me too many times before and it's an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved. Please don't do it.

This blog is NOT Exclusive, but I do practice Maining with other muses. What that means is if we have previously discussed it, and have had enough interaction, my muse will refer to yours in conversation or in terms of relationship depending on circumstance. Once I have created mains, they will be posted in the Navigation tab. Occasionally I may post a mains call, which invites anyone interested to discuss becoming a main with Connor.

TRIGGERS + NSFW

I am 20+ years old, and NSFW can and will happen on this blog, however I will always keep anything that contains NSFW under a "read more" cut for the sake of any followers who are not comfortable with seeing NSFW content.

I am comfortable with most NSFW topics. I absolutely WILL NOT write about pedophilia or incest, and definitely WILL NOT rp sexual situations with minors or people who I have not shared consent with. This is for my safety as well as those who I interact with. I'm trying to get into grad school, not jail.

I will try to tag triggers accordingly as they appear. Triggering content that MAY appear on this blog include:

Abuse

Child/Character Death

Disease

Drugs/Drug Use

Alcohol

Execution/Murder

Gore

Nudity

Self-Harm

Suicide/Mental Health Issues

Verbal/Physical Violence

Torture

Important: mun and muse are mutually exclusive. I am not Connor. Connor is not me. Actions performed in threads do not reflect me or my personal beliefs, unless otherwise explicitly stated by me.

If you've made it this far, I would really appreciate if you could like this post to let me know you've read and understand all my rules. If you are not comfortable doing so, that's fine! It's really just to help me know people cared enough to go through the whole list. :) It's not at all an obligation, but it would be really awesome.

Despite the fact I am comfortable with NSFW, I prefer to be comfortable with the other mun as a person before agreeing to write these topics with you. I am not obligated to write NSFW with anyone.

#;; mobile rules

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nikatyler · 5 years

Photo

Oh hey, long time no replies. And these are the first ones of this year. I have a hard time replying now. It’s not like I don’t have time - I’m doing okay, actually. I mean, I wouldn’t complain if there was less homework, but still. Free time exists. It’s just that I can’t bring myself to replying to either comments or messages...I replied to asks quite quickly though, which is something unusual for me. Usually that’s where I’m slowest. I don’t know, is this another weird anxiety thing? Like I know I can reply, but I just...don’t?

Anyway...let’s get that done now I guess. There’s a lot of these, apologies if something got lost. Maybe it’s my fault, maybe it’s not, all I know is that sometimes my activity feed doesn’t show me everything.

unstablesims replied to your photoset “Vlad the fashion icon strikes again.”

he's rocking that goth TM look lmao

I mean yeah.

unstablesims replied to your photoset “This brings back memories. Maybe he’s not evil, he just wants some...”

he's vv nice to his friends..... the problem is becoming his friend ��

I was going to reply with “if this ain’t me” but...actually once I get comfortable around people, irl especially, I’m awful to them D: (I can quite easily turn into the sarcastic asshole friend and no one believes me until I unleash it lmao) But anyway yeah I kinda can see Vlad to be that way, now that you mention it

#JusticeForVlad2k19

justkeeponsimming replied to your photo “End of the Year Tag 2 This time I was tagged by @justkeeponsimming....”

Ronnieeee!!! Your sims are SO gorgeous! Love love love this!

Aaaaah thank you so much! ♥

dandylion240 replied to your photo “I tweeted this last night but I want to share it here as well because...”

When Ross and Caleb finally got together. I'm still hoping Caleb changes his mind and turns Ross.

If I had replied to this a week earlier, I could’ve used my favourite eye emoji. Oh well. Yeah, it’s good he changed his mind, isn’t it? :D I couldn’t stand the idea of separating them.

jackssims replied to your photo “I tweeted this last night but I want to share it here as well because...”

The birth of Miracle! Caleb, Ross, and Sunset! The high school story and when Miracle and Adam got together as well!

ghkjahfljhk lately (I mean for the past few months) I’ve been really disliking Miracle and Adam’s storyline but for some reason when people mention it, they always say they liked it, so I guess I didn’t do that bad of a job?

Same with the good old Zoey storyline. Everyone who has ever talked to me about it said they liked it and thought it was interesting, but I’m over here like “gjkfjgfjhg don’t mention that mess to me ever again”.

melien replied to your photoset “Sunset spent the New Year’s Eve by playing sims. This is very...”

I'M LITERALLY DOING THIS RIGHT NOW

I feel personally attacked

It’s fine, we’ve all been there :D

I think I played sims too this year. Well, first we played some board games with my parents, then there was midnight, I cried, went to see the fireworks (while finishing a bottle of wine but I swear I wasn’t drunk)...oooh and then I watched a stream and edited my sims screenshots! Okay so I didn’t actually play but I edited the pics and like...these are still fun new year’s eve plans, am I right?

melien replied to your photoset “Dawn came over and the two spent hours talking about space.”

I love their outfits! Totally would wear something like this

I like Sunset’s style especially. Well, sometimes she wears clothes I wouldn’t, but for most of the time, it’s just comfy fun stuff I wish I had. Especially considering my dark phase is over and colours are slowly coming back to my closet :D

melien replied to your post “I have some random sims I could share. Anyone interested?”

Ohhhh... on one hand I'd always want sims from you but on the other hand I fear I won't do them justice because idk where to use them rn. Dilemma

pls ask

I’m always down for creating sims for mutuals and friends (I just never talk about it), so just let me know when you want one. Also, I’m sure you would do them justice. I’m really not afraid you would fail there. You know I love everything you do, so... :D

melien replied to your photoset “This guy ♥”

Ending 2018 on a high note

The best note possible

simtress replied to your photoset “Caleb: Isn’t it sad that there are so many ways a vampire can live a...”

i love the name caleb...♥

Me too! I’ve liked it since the first time I had seen it in an English textbook years ago.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Oh god please tell me I didn’t accidentally have risky woohoo on or...”

It'd be fun to see what their kid would look like.

I agree and I’m surprised I’ve never played with their genetics. smh ron

cafeheart replied to your photo

okay he's hot but this also makes me uncomfy for some reason asfdlkjaj put him back

jackssims replied to your photo

I agree he’s got a hot vibe going, but this just feels wrong tbajfnakcn

It is kinda weird, I’ll admit that (but “reimagining” him was fun). It’s like...taking away Caleb Vatore’s weird emo hair. I admit I’ve done that once but it was just to mock myself anyway. I wouldn’t do it “for real”. Emo hair must stay. Yes it’s dumb, but also, it’s iconic. we stan dumb hair

I’d say this is something similar. I don’t want to say anything about Ross is iconic, but...you get my point, right?

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Okay, I don’t like this. I have a theory.” Caleb: “I know what...”

👀

The funny thing here is, when I was writing this dialogue, I had no idea what was going to happen later.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “I don’t…I don’t ever want this to end.” Ross: “You’re the only...”

Way to dodge that, Caleb

Oh yeah. He’s good at that

unstablesims replied to your photoset “Sunset: I know I said I’d work out today but I really don’t want to…oh...”

mood

An everyday one

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “Sim Download: Cara Meadows she/her, bisexual Another one. I imagine...”

ahh she's cute! might have to nab her for my private save ;)

Yay, I’m so happy to hear that! :D

jackssims replied to your photoset “Everything about this picture is a big mood. You may tag yourself now.”

Tbh I’m both Caleb and Sunset

Relatable

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Valentine: “Relationships and love aren’t really for me, but attending...”

Ironically her name is ValentineXD

Yup. Exactly. I bet it must be annoying for a person who couldn’t care less about getting into a relationship.

myopiccc replied to your photoset “Sunset wasn’t born to follow the crowd.”

Seriously!?!? I would never know THEY can use an umbrellas clever way! LOL

Lol they sometimes open it inside. Doesn’t seem clever to me :D But yeah, I didn’t expect them to sit down like this.

solarmoodlet replied to your photo “Sim Download: Enric Noel he/him, gay Sometimes a miracle happens and I...”

hes so cute. added him to my save. Tyvm!

Ahhh thank youuu!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Simblr 2019 Goals”

I join you with the last point�� I kinda defeated social anxiety irl but the online anxiety stays. And they say shy people can communicate better online!

melien replied to your post “Simblr 2019 Goals”

I third the online anxiety, glad to know I'm not alone

I wish I could say I defeated it irl as well...things got better (mainly because I just had to get used to it and grow a thicker skin) but I’m still an anxious trainwreck 99 % of the time :D It’s the same online.

Also, instead of actually starting a conversation with people, I’m always like “oh you know, if you feel like talking to me, just send me a message, I don’t bite” but the problem is I know there’s a lot of us like that here and I’m not the only one with this fear of communication so maybe I should be the one to find the courage once

Wow that didn’t make sense but I think that only proves my point that I’m an anxious trainwreck :D

penelope-and-wonders replied to your photoset “You can put the umbrellas away, guys.”

What fun would that be? ��

Oh right, I can’t have a normal wedding :D It’s a universal rule that I should finally accept. Something would be wrong if everything went right for once.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Sim Download: Leigh Smith she/her, pansexual A long long time ago I...”

Omg, I looove her! ❤️❤️

Thank youuu ♥

green-productivitea replied to your photoset “Sunset: “What can I say? Freaking finally. Took you long enough to...”

The fact that she call him dad :O

Yep, she did. I love the relationship these two have.

yamekamerainbows27 replied to your photoset “Sunset: “You’re the woman that said she didn’t want a child, and you...”

Damn Sunset! You tell her girl ��

melien replied to your photoset “Sunset: “You’re the woman that said she didn’t want a child, and you...”

Go Sunset!

That’s what she deserves

sparkiemonkey replied to your photoset “I mean, Sunset was right. Dawn is adorable.”

she is totally adorable

Up until now I was always saying that this legacy has some Good Genes, now with Dawn it will be more like Cute Genes.

unstablesims replied to your photoset “Marcella: “What are you two doing?” Sunset: “Watching the clouds!...”

let them be dorks in peace!! lmao

Exactly!! No reasons to judge

cafeheart replied to your photoset “I would lie if I said I saw this coming.”

yknow if someone didnt have context for your legacy this kinda looks like caleb is murdering ross asdkfbbd

omg you’re right and I hate that you are right

vampcatsims replied to your photoset “Ross: “We’ve taken many risks already and now I’m taking another one,...”

noooo he's going to leave him at the altar god this is going to hurt so much

omg wow this is where scrolling down and reading new ones before old ones causes reaction mistakes cuz omg this is for realsies isn't it?

kyveria replied to your photoset “Ross: “We’ve taken many risks already and now I’m taking another one,...”

@vampcatsims don’t worry, ross has already had someone leave him at the altar so Caleb is going to stay ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Haha yeah, they’re going to be fine. I think. Can’t promise anything.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “I…how can I say no to this? Yes, Ross. Yes, I will.” Ross:...”

Good! I was scared he was going to say no for a second ��

Imagine if he left him and I’d introduce a new spouse now. Or bring back Jordan. Or Marika.

Omg imagine I’d bring her back and she’d get her “happy little family” she claims she wishes for now.

myopiccc replied to your post “ - fave types of movies?”

Such a tense era! I'm a historic nerd too:)

Yeah, I love it! I mean, I don’t actually love it, there were some bad things happening, no freedom of speech and such, but for me, it’s an interesting era to learn about. I also think it’s important to know about these times because in a way, they’re still so similar to where we are now, we really should look back at them and try to not make the same mistakes...sadly, when I look at the situation in my country...sometimes it feels like people forget. Not just people like me who didn’t experience it and have only learned about it in History classes...feels like even people who have been there forget and it’s sad and frustrating and I wish I could do something about it. Okay rant over.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “Tell me honestly. Did you expect me to change my mind with...”

Nice! But I swear if this somehow backfires and Ross ends up dying...

👀

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “This doesn’t even need a caption.”

Ross you better not have died!!

jackssims replied to your photoset “This doesn’t even need a caption.”

/ROSS/

ajkfaglafkghlahgfk I didn’t realize this would seem like he’s dying I’m sorry for causing panic fjaklflk

I just thought it was funny he set himself on fire and Caleb is over there like “nooo I agreed to marry this freak I have made a grave mistake”

princessdejamars replied to your photoset “Ummmm”

oh no not again

Yes. Yes again. And yeah, I could’ve left without saving. I didn’t. I was shocked when it happened and once I realized he’s pregnant again...you should’ve heard my hysterical laughter. Something is wrong with me and I don’t like it.

cafeheart replied to your photoset “Dawn: “Not a chance.”

sunset looks scared shitless asdkfjdbdb

"fhlakhfalklahkjjkij she’s kissing me I wasn’t prepared for this what do I do jgljfkjhlaafkgl”

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: Nothing happened…I’m fine…I’m just gonna give this dog a bath...”

That's totally not going to lead to more problems later, Caleb, if anything *did* happen (/sarcasm)

Yup. It’s totally okay to do that.

jackssims replied to your photoset “oh shit”

Oh fuck

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “oh shit”

wow

this is wild haha

Basically my reaction

jackssims replied to your photoset “Stella: “Dad, you’re home alone?” Caleb: “I think so.” Stella: “Aw,...”

jlkfdzsjlkfadg She's pregnant, he's pregnant, truly amazing

ikr

That’s a twist I truly didn’t expect at the end of this generation. Not that I’m complaining

jackssims replied to your photoset “Stella: “Anything else?” Caleb: “What? Is there supposed to be...”

/Caleb/

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “And that’s not all…” Ross: “Huh?” Caleb: “Nothing. Forget it.”

//Caleb//

See Ross and Caleb were made for each other because they both have a hard time learning from their mistakes lol

dandylion240 replied to your post “I WAS HOPING HE WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS FIANCE'S BABY NOT GETTING...”

There's a way to bend the rules. Since Ross will become a vampire. He and Caleb have forever to have a child together. So once Sunset takes over as heir I say anything goes for Ross after that �� but that's just me lol

Ooh, technically that could work! I didn’t even think about that. Good point. I don’t think they’ll have children together but I really do like this idea.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Is there anything you would like to tell me?” Caleb: “I was...”

Good! Caleb got the courage to tell Ross

I mean he didn’t really have another option at this point

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “You’re not going to leave me now, are you?” Ross: “I’m...”

Wholesome Ross (he’s really come full circle tbh)

I kept saying he would get better and no one believed me. There you have it guys, he’s a changed person. Character development! :D

simtress replied to your photo “™¥ â™¥”

*eeps! she's too cute1

ikr, I miss her ;-;

melien replied to your photoset “Stella: I can’t believe it’s actually raining on my wedding day. We...”

It's a free riiiiide when you've already paid

Is this a reference I am supposed to get

Because I’m dumb and don’t get it lmao

melien replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Say cheese hair!”

So don't ask how I remember it because I'm probably too invested lol but your theme with red hair/blonde(yellow) hair in gen 3 of every legacy? It continues

Omg I didn’t even realize! Sebastian and Lynn started it obviously, then in my Raven Legacy it was a little “easter egg” but this time, it’s a coincidence (a nice coincidence). I guess I just can’t have too many redheads!

melien replied to your photoset “oh shit”

The ultimate plot twist

The plot twist I normally would’ve welcomed but this time, I actually felt sorry for him. He didn’t deserve it the first time (aka the time I was petty and did it on purpose) and he didn’t deserve it this time either. But still. Aliens. I can’t just quit the game without saving when it has to do something with them, can I?

melien replied to your post “I WAS HOPING HE WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS FIANCE'S BABY NOT GETTING...”

Maybe babies for them perhaps?

Y’all really want them to have kids huh

melien replied to your photoset “Nooooo Rocket :( He’s old now!”

Can Caleb also turn Rocket? Vampire doggo would be fun

Man I’d love if that was possible (even though...I just imagined him biting the poor dog and that’s kinda weird). Buuuut...there’s something else that I did and it’s almost as good.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Sim Download: Minako Ito she/her, lesbian Traits: Good, Loner,...”

All of the Sims you put for download are so pretty! I'm grabbing them all!

Thank you so much ;-;

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “i was enchanted to meet you”

Aaahh nostalgia!

I knoooow ;-; I love them and I miss them and I want to play with them again

I mean I could, first I’d just have to finish the high school story and that’s...highly unlikely lol

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “oh shit”

Aliens are in love with him that's true

New otp: Caleb/Aliens. Oh that's weird

They have a weird thing for Calebs

If you guys know a Caleb irl protect them

If you are a Caleb, well...I’m sorry

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Rocket: Hey I’m old, just thought you should know…oh nevermind what...”

This is somehow sad=((

Yeah. I love this little dog so much :(

#replies #unstablesims #justkeeponsimming #dandylion240 #jackssims #melien #simtress #cafeheart #alfalfalegacy #myopiccc #solarmoodlet #tiny-tany-thaanos #penelope-and-wonders #green-productivitea #yamekamerainbows27 #sparkiemonkey #vampcatsims #kyveria #princessdejamars

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geniuslab · 7 years

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5 mutuals and say something nice about them too much negativity! Let's spread some positive vibes!

only 5? :(

but yes, i love this!! this makes my heart so warm :’)

i have to post this under a read more because it’s kind of long

@mylovejhs rachel, my soul sister, where do i begin?? rachel means the world to me, she is always so sweet and caring. i can talk to her about anything and there’s no judgment. she’s definitely listened to me rant a few times and has always been so patient and so levelheaded. she’s also hilarious, and i love talking to her because she can always make me laugh. we don’t always make the best decisions (*cough* amazon shopping sprees *cough*) but we have plenty of laughs about it. and even though i joke that we’re bad influences on each other, we’re still really responsible irl and know how to talk each other down if we have to lmao. i call her my soul sister for a reason, and that’s because we are so similar and i honestly feel like she understands me better than most. plus she finally admitted to being an ot7 stan, welcome to the family!! haha. i really, genuinely hope i can meet rachel some day. i wish we lived close to each other because without a doubt rachel would be my best friend. we would just hang out, watch bts videos, and sit on our laptops while listening to music together. best friendship ever imo. ilysm rachel

@velvethoseok kate!! i don’t think i’ve ever said this but i honestly think of kate as a little sister. and i mean that in the nicest way possible, like i love kate so much and i want to look out for her. we bicker sometimes but it’s all out of love :) kate can put me in my place tho lmao. we don’t talk quite as much as we used to and i highkey miss kate a lot. @ kate message me more i want to talk to you. even if it’s just about hobi. speaking of which, i’ve said it before and i will say it one more time: i sort of blame kate for making me fall in love with hobi. i was already stanning him when i became friends with kate but she posts so much about hobi and loves him so much that i think it spread to me and now look at me, he’s my ult fnhkfdnhkfdh. kate was one of my first friends in the fandom, we started talking because i messaged her about all of the gushy posts she’d tagged hobi in one night and from the very beginning she was super sweet and friendly! and it’s so genuine, too. kate really does care about her friends and that’s such a wonderful quality. thank you for making this fandom a kind place for me, kate. and thank you for being my friend, even if i’m a grandma :’)

@jinandtonics steph and i have been mutuals for probably...4 years? 5 years?! we didn’t start really talking until several months ago, and i somewhat blame steph for getting me into this bts mess because she was posting about them and was part of the reason why i looked up bts in the first place. steph: oh haha sorry about all the kpop i’ve been posting latelyme: it’s okay, i don’t mind seeing cute boys on my dash!!flashforward to 2 weeks later, me: yes that’s yoongi’s ear and i can tell because--anyway, steph has been there for me a lot and sometimes i feel really guilty because she’s helped me through so much and i don’t know how i could ever return the favor. i’ve been going through a rough time these past couple years but steph met me during a particularly bad rough patch and she supported me the entire time. if you’re looking for a loyal friend who will genuinely care about you, steph is it. plus she’s hilarious and writes really great tags haha@pansugah nkhnfdhkfdh i love sara with my whole heart. i am so glad we became friends. we met in one of our nets and i think i eventually private messaged her because i was like “i want to be friends with sara let’s make this happen” and she somehow is still putting up with me after all this time. we haven’t even known each other for that long, but i feel like i’ve known sara forever. she’s so sweet, i think in one of our first convos i overshared a little bit lmaoooo but i didn’t scare her away and she was so kind the entire time and even shared her own stories which helped. i really appreciated that, like so much. also sara is literally the only thing that kept me sane during that stupid bias game, our chats about how much we “love guk so so so much” made me laugh and also kept me sane. sara is so incredibly talented too, like everyone needs to check out her art. it honestly blows my mind how crazy talented she is. ily sara!!

@taepott of course i couldn’t leave out dijah, my heart :’) i think i’ve gushed about dijah so much on this blog that everyone is probably tired of hearing it but i really love her. i still cannot believe she asked me how to make gifs as an excuse to talk to me when someone had already taught her like 2 weeks prior. what is this, a 90s romcom?? nkfnsfknkn dijah and i fake fight a lot and she’s the best person to fake fight with ever. there is no such thing as tmi between us oh my gOD the convos we’ve had. it’s really nice to have a friend that i can literally share anything with and that (from what i can tell lmao) feels the same way too. i like to keep things positive, but i know that if i need to vent or be petty i can go to dijah and she will listen with open ears and open arms haha. i’m not trying to be one of those people who’s like “wow i hate myself how could anyone love me” but i legit don’t know why dijah likes me so much?? idgi but i’ll take her word on it. dijah and i are really similar sometimes and SUPER different at others (*cough* one of us has too many emotions and the other...) but i think it works because our similarities are what make us bond and our differences help us balance each other out. at least that’s my best guess. anyway this is getting long but im love dijah and i’m so happy she made me waste an hour teaching her something she already fucking knew so that we could talk.

#i love you guys <3 #i have so many other people i could write things for but i went with just 5 as per the anon's request #let's spread some love :')#btw all of these people are content creators!!#whether it's fics or gifs or moodboards or art #they all have wonderful blogs and i highly recommend them!!#i mostly focused on our friendships but i can vouch for them as quality blogs as well!#answered*#Anonymous

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palahcio-blog · 7 years

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i was tagged by @heartspell to post twenty facts about myself, thank you love! ❤️💌 1. My nickname is Aki ☺️ 2. I'm an only child and I'm left handed! 3. I'm ambidextrous hehe 4. I used to play the piano real well and do competitive figure skating but I stopped both when I broke my right arm when I was like 6 or 7 years old! (I also had to learn writing with my left hand) 5. I can handle my liquor pretty well like... I always end up out drinking everyone else and I'm always the designated mother hen haha! But it's okay i love taking care of my friends!! (Plus it's definitely A++ blackmail material) 6. I'm really flexible....? :---) 7. My favorite and lucky number is 7!! 🍀 8. If you can't tell yet from all my song recs, I love love love LOOOOOOVEEEE indie music!! I listen to other genres as well but, this genre takes up the most space in my heart!! 9. I can do this really weird (and slightly gross) thing where I can move my wrist bone over the other and feel nothing hahhha people always get freaked out when they see it! 10. I am very very very uncomfortable with the topic of sex for some unknown reason but I don't mind talking about it when it's about other people 😊 so don't hesitate to message me about anything oki 11. Speaking of sex I did have an experience but it was gross hhhh i gave a handjob to this guy but it you can barely call it that I just grabbed it and it was gross and just.......... ew so the moment I touched it I pulled my hand away LMAO 12. I've never been in love nor have I been in a relationship!! All my flings are guys i felt nothing for and the worst part is I wouldn't have accepted them if not for the fact that I always end up being pressured by them and their friends (the last guy I had a thing with deadass knelt infront of me in a crowded restaurant and I was so freaked out and everyone was cheering and looking at us and my gosh it was so nerve wracking and my anxiety was full blown) but don't worry I did end up liking them all even a bit but I usually stopped things after a week or two! 13. I want to be with a girl bye 14. I went to a private all girls school during elementary and had my first ever fling with this cute girl back in 6th grade HAHA 15. I am afraid of paranormal things but I like reading about them!! 16. My worst fear is clowns, zombies and insects.. literally you can make me watch every single ghost movie but don't ever make me watch movies about this three omg the last time I watched a movie about zombies I wasn't able to sleep for like 4 days straight 17. I never finish my art works.. (which is a bad thing considering the fact that I'm taking up art in uni jfc) 18. I love plants!!! I talk to our plants in my mini garden every day before I leave for school and I have mini plants in my room and I'm planning to order more plants for my room and!! Plants!! Are!! Friends!! Okay!! 🌱 19. I have 3 dogs (we used to have 9), around 10-11..? Cats? And a chicken.. I used to have two ducks but they died two months ago I'm still sad :---( 20. I want to have the power to control fire. It is badass, hella strong and hot (quite literally as well...) Anyway I am useless and boring and I'm sorry if you wasted your time reading this but I'm tagging @kkul-angel @agapanthvs @amgel @didcleopatradieforlove @softrvses @480m @dxvax @cherryvodkacola and @september-rose to do this!! (You don't have to hehe) also don't hesitate to message me about anything, anytime alright? if you need someone to talk to or just vent my ask box is always open! Ily ❤️

#❣️#kei #❤️

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sigurdjarlson · 7 years

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We need to talk about Kevin fandom (tw: rape, abuse, pedophilia mentions)

this discourse gets me so pissy so here’s a vent post

(1) "They're coping mechanisms are unhealthy’ it's only unhealthy if it harms them or someone else. Ask any decent mental health professional.

(2) you don't get a say in someone's mental health. Maybe it is unhealthy for them but unless they're causing REAL harm to someone or they ask your opinion it's none of your business. You are not their mental health professional

(3) using abuse/rape in fic to cope has been proven beneficial for many survivors. It's a way of taking back the power they've had taken away. There's a lot more to it as well.

(4) "you can only do this if it's for coping" how do you plan to enforce this rule? Force every single person to talk about their incredibly private traumatic experiences just so you seem whether or not it's okay for them to do something? I'm sorry that's disgusting. That's absolutely disgusting.

(5) You do not speak for all survivors even if you are a survivor yourself. Your experience is not universal. Everyone's experience is different and everyone copes and reacts in different ways. I am one and I don't speak for all of us..

(6) it makes you uncomfortable? Okay!! That's alright. Totally understandable!! You want to police others because it makes you uncomfortable? No!! Not okay.

(7) you have the responsibility to take care of yourself. There are steps you can take to avoid this kind of media. Trigger warnings, tags, summaries, blocking systems..those are all there for a reason. Please make use of them.

(8) "think of the children" this could be used for any kind of adult content. "Violent video games cause violence!" First off no they do not and also they come with ratings that blatantly say it's not for children. Its properly rated. It's not the creator of the game's fault if a child gets hold of it. To sum it up: that's the parent's job. I read erotic fic before I was 18 and it's not the author's fault lmao.

(9) "people will act it out" oh my god oh my goddd I can't stand this. No!! They won't. If they do? They already had very severe problems to begin with. It was not caused by this "problematic" piece of fic or art. Do NOT take the blame off the people that actively choose to hurt others by saying ~they read some problematic things so this must have caused it uwu~ you know what caused it? Them choosing to do the act. Most people have a healthy distinction between fiction and reality.

(10) "this happened to me" I'm sorry you went through something like that. I truly am. But you still don't have the right to tell other people what they can and can't do. Take steps to protect yourself. No one else can do that for you. Your mental health is your responsibility and yours alone. You do not have the right to put that responsibility on complete strangers. It's not their job. The world cannot nor should it have to cater to you..

(11) "this thing makes me uncomfortable so therefore it must be bad and if it's bad the person writing it must be bad" is the logic here and it's incredibly faulty. Once again. Your experiences are not universal. Something that makes you uncomfortable might not make someone else feel uncomfortable. For things that have a tendency to make a lot of people uncomfortable there are these things called trigger warnings and warnings in general.

the person is not bad. They are not supporting or normalizing this behavior just by writing a fanfic. Are they saying "it's okay to rape people everybody should go out and do it"? No? then no they're not.

(12) fanfic, fanart, etc are such small medias that they don't effect or influence society In the way something like say "50 Shades of Grey" would. That's the stuff we should be concerned about and focused on criticizing. It's blatant misinformation.

(13) if half the effort people put into these crusades against ships was used to help actual survivors..there would be a lot of good being done in the world. These are fictional characters. We joke around a lot but you don't have to protect them. They are not real. Real people are more important than fictional ones. So, please if you spend so much time and effort on these things, channel that energy into something good and positive instead of harassing and harming real people on the internet over /fictional things/.

(14) “Fiction effects reality.” You’re right it does. However it does not directly cause these bad things. It’s what people choose to do with fiction that matters. Choices. Choices. Choices.

(15) Fiction does not have to be pure. Fiction has always been a platform where people can explore the darker things in life. It’s interesting to some people. Personally I like a lot of dark shit because it’s interesting. It’s so incomprehensible to me that people can do these awful things that I find it interesting to explore why these people may have done them through fiction.

(16) Liking something in fiction does not mean you support it. I’d hate most of the fictional characters I absolutely adore if they were real.

(17) Some of the kindest people I’ve ever met are part of problematic fandoms and some of the worst are the people who scream that they’re trying to protect the world from that problematic fandom. You see there’s no correlation between what you like in fiction and what kind of person you are in real life. You know what is a great indicator of what kind of person you are? How you treat real, live people and the choices you make.

(18) I get it. These things elicit very strong emotions in people and for very valid reasons but that does not mean it should not be allowed to exist. Like I said it is your responsibility to create your own safe space. Blacklist/block/unfollow do whatever to keep those things out of your space. And...Don’t go looking for these things god damn it? If you see (tw: rape) and then go into the fic anyway and get upset? That’s not the author’s fault. They put the proper warnings in place. You ignored them.

If there isn’t a proper warning. Perhaps consider kindly asking them to put some up? Maybe they forgot. It happens. People make mistakes.. If they refuse to do so they’re kind of a dick but it’s better to just ignore/unfollow/avoid/block that person and move on.

(19) Lets make a summary.

You are responsible for your own safe space and taking care of your mental health.

Fiction does not CAUSE bad things to happen. People who choose to do those bad things do.

“This upsets me” does not = “it’s bad and shouldn’t exist and the person making this thing is bad” your logic is faulty m8

If something is properly tagged and has the proper warnings then it’s not the author’s fault if others ignore it and get upset. They did their part.

Fictional characters are not real. You don’t have to protect them. Harming real people over fictional ones is absolutely reprehensible.

It’s no one’s job to parent other people’s children. No, children shouldn’t be looking at this content but it’s the parents’ job to keep their children away from those things. (proper warnings, tags, etc are important too but that itself is not a guarantee)

Liking something in fiction does not = supporting it, condoning it, normalizing it. It just means you like something in fiction. Most people have a healthy distinction between fiction and reality. If someone does act on it..they already had very severe issues to begin with.

Survivors are never obligated to reveal their personal experiences in order to be “allowed” to consume or make certain things.

A coping mechanism is only unhealthy if it’s hurting the person or others. (it’s not hurting anyone by existing) It might not be healthy for you but that does not mean it’s not healthy for that person. AND it’s not your job or place to decide whether or not something is healthy or unhealthy for a person unless you are their mental health professional. Stay in your lane.

People don’t have to be using it as a coping mechanism! Maybe something really is just their kink. Maybe they find it interesting or whatever. Who cares as long as they’re not out doing it in real life. Who cares as long as they have a healthy distinction between what is okay in fiction and what is okay in real life. Mind your own business honestly.

I think some of these people really do have good intentions. They think they’re helping the world or others somehow. But having good intentions does not mean you are right. Be aware of what you’re doing and how it’s effecting others. Channel all the energy you put into hating things into doing something good in the real world. Or use it to create and enjoy things you do like or enjoy. Why focus on the things you hate?

And some of these people don’t have good intentions. For some it’s just a self righteous circle jerk. It makes them feel better about themselves. It’s a “I’m more morally enlightened than you” contest. These people don’t care about the issues they claim to care about or the people involved. They just want to make themselves feel good by making others feel bad. And that? That’s horrible.

They’re just using serious issues as buzzwords (which takes away the impact that word makes and THAT is a bad thing) Rape, pedophilia, abuse, etc. These are very, very serious issues.

When people roll their eyes when they see someone claiming “pedophilia’ because there are people on here seriously accusing people of being pedophiles for shipping a 17 year old with an 18 year old or shipping some characters with an age gap?

(which for the record. Talking about people who are of age and with a partner that’s significantly older than them. it’s untrue that all relationships with an age gap are unhealthy. is there a possibility for it to be unhealthy? certainly but that’s not a guarantee that it is. Your experiences are not universal. Every situation and every person is different.)

There’s a problem because you’re making people take these things less seriously. Have you ever heard the story of the boy who cried wolf?

You do that and sadly no one will listen when you actually find something to worry about. Is that right? No. But it’s the truth. No one will take you seriously.

You don’t accuse people of these things willy nilly. You can ruin people’s lives. Are they doing those things in real life and hurting real people? Do you have solid proof that they are? Yes? (Fictional media is not proof unless they admit to doing something) By all means step in and get the authorities involved. That’s absolutely awful. Is it just fiction? Take a step back, block/unfollow/blacklist and move on.

What people do in real life matters. That’s it. That’s the key. Stop harassing people over fictional crap because THAT...shows what kind of person you are and it’s not a good one.

#nerd ramblings

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