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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

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The Final Wayne's

Masterlist

Warnings:mentions of sex?, swearing mostly fluffy

A/n:Im really happy with this one wasn’t sure how to go about it but i think its pretty sweet. Hope you enjoy xx

You meet the final two wanye’s when they all storm the cafe.

The Final Wayne's

You hummed along with the radio as you when out the front of the cafe closing a bit earlier as you hadn't had any customers in for nearly 2 hours. You spun the sign round and locked the door you were going to use the extra time to tidy the cafe properly instead of the rushed quick sweep that's normally done. Turning to volume up louder you danced around clearing the last few cups popping them in the sink coming back out with a mop bucket and broom and began to stack the chairs against one wall getting ready for a proper sweep. you nearly jumped out of your skin when someone tried to come bounding threw the door bouncing off it with a loud bang. you ran across the cafe hearing laughter.

"Why the fuck is it closed?!" Ah. Damien, you heard him before you saw him which made sense as he was currently sprawled out on the floor as Jack and Tim laughed at him joined by two older boys , well boys, one looked a few years younger then you... so technically he was an adult . you stuttered clicking who these other two probably were. Unlocking the door you squatted down to Damien.

"Shit are you ok? you didn't hit your head? did you?" you said reaching for him grabbing his face tilting it down trying to see the back of his head. He growled slapping you away

"I'm fine... does your boss know you've shut early? could have been a customer that'd have been a lawsuit ..stupid woman" you stood up crossing your arms at him.

"well I'm lucky it was just your skinny little ass then aren't I?" you deadpanned causing the another wave of laughter as Damien pulled him self up

"come on in" you lead them all in the older boys pulled themselves chairs around a table directly in front of the counter. turned looking for the others as jack wandered out of the kitchen with a fresh brownie Damien following with a blueberry marzipan muffin.

"Oo are those fresh?" Tim said walking past you into the kitchen to get himself one. you raised your hands exasperated.

"By all means help yourselves" you said shaking your head as they gave you cheeky grins before sitting down next to the others.

"Did you make these?" Damien asked you nodded

"Yep made em all today" he gave you a contemplating look

"You are forgiven for the door....if you give this recipe to Alfred" you rolled you eyes

"Oh yippee here I thought I'd have to beg for the young masters forgiveness" Jack snorted into his brownie.

"Y/n this is Dick and Jason our older brothers" Tim finally introduced with half a mouthful of muffin.

"Tim don't speak with your mouthful" you scolded before turning to Dick and Jason, you were nervous about meeting them, you knew that Dick was 20 and Jason was 17 not that much younger than you. Dick smiled brightly Jason followed

"Its nice to meet you both, but I thought Bruce wanted to introduce us at dinner next Monday?" Dick opened his mouth to reply but Damien beat him to it

"They were sulking cos me and Tim have already met you, and they couldn't wait so me Tim and Jack found them wandering about looking for the cafe completely lost." Dick looked embarrassed and Jason looked just about ready to beat Damien to a pulp.

"W-we did not we just decided to explore this part of Gotham.. we haven't been down this way before and heard good things." you giggled a little. feeling a little better now that they were talking.

"Can I have a go on the coffee machine?" Tim asked having finished his muffin you thought about it for a second then nodded, he jumped up following you round to it

"Anyone else want one?" Dick and Jason nodded Damien and Jack pulled a face. No.

You showed Tim how to load the espresso and turn it on trying to hold back laughter as he jumped back when he activated the steamer wand you caught the jug of milk just in time leaning over him you showed him the easiest way to froth the milk putting his hand on the knob controlling the steamer telling him when to turn it ,pointing out on the thermometer where he should let it go to he did it. Managing not to burn the milk then you demonstrated how to pour for certain coffees. He beamed when he got it right proud of himself then quickly controlled his face putting on a smug 'yeah of course I did it' face handing his brothers their coffees before going to sit down

"Oi! get back here you haven't cleaned up, you gotta wipe the wand and let some steam through to clear it." he come back hesitantly taking the folded cloth from you

"Wont it burn me?" you shook your head

"Just wipe it quick, then use the rubber bit to push it to the tray and give it a quick blast" he did as instructed and smiled bright going back to his coffee. Dick and Jason had been watching quietly as you taught their younger brother how to use the machine, yanking Tim away tilting your self in front of him when you though he could get hurt as the steam spat the milk when he hadn't held it high enough. Feeling more relaxed with you they saw how you patiently taught Tim how to do it. They had their doubts ,they had been a bit worried about their father dating someone so young. Imagining a typical younger woman trying to worm her way into their house for money or fame. They were caught off guard when their dad had first told them about you. Normally he didn't bother the women were never serious and gobsmacked when Damien threatened them to be kind, it was then they then decided they would catch you off guard, worried about how you could have possibly influenced Tim and Damien. But watching you interact with them they saw that you were very genuine. When it had come out earlier that day that you were Jacks sister, they felt slightly better knowing a bit of the story. How instead of abandoning him to the system to continue your studies, you'd pulled out that same day, moving back home planning and arranging your parents funeral and staying, giving up on your own prospects to become his guardian and raise him finding a job to support you both and pushing him to apply for the scholarship helping him get in. Thank god you did since Jack had become Damien's saving grace, he had calmed down and was almost a completely normal 13 year old boy...until he put on his suit then all bets were off. They found it fascinating seeing you swing from the playful sister to patient parent and back as you had grabbed Jack in a head lock poking at him tickling him for teasing you. They shared a look. Yes you would fit in fine.

"hahahah no-nooo st-stop it hahaa!fuck off y/n" he cried between laughs squirming then the fun and games stopped as ha accidentally headbutted your nose

"OH FUCK!" you shouted grabbing your nose eyes watering he gasped apologizing as damien panicked grabbing napkins in case of a nose bleed. He tried pulling your hand away.

"ssshhiit oh im fine- im good its ok-- fuck sake why is your head so hard?" he looked sheepish asking if you were ok you nodded to him waving a hand.

"I was going to get so much done here tonight but now I cant be asked" rubbing your nose again sniffing checking your hands for blood. None good. Huffing you leaning forward onto the table you looked across that table to Dick and Jason. You'd felt there eyes on you all this time.

"You know your both just like Bruce. He just sat there staring when he met me to." you offered chuckling nervously trying to break what you thought was tension not knowing that they had already approved of you.

"They are trying to suss you out. They are worried about you being after money or something." Tim added sipping the last of his coffee leaning back as everyone shouted at him.

"TIM!" You swallowed collecting yourself taking a deep breath, here it comes then. You looked at them smileing sadly nodding pulling back into yourself. You knew it they didn't like you. Obviously they wouldn't, fuck sake you were 5 years older than one and 8 years older then the other. You knew it.

"I-I don't want anything like that..I know its weird because we are about the same age.. if you feel uncomfortable with your dad and I just say the word and it will end I'm not going to be a home wrecker- fuck I new this would happen" you looked away trying to hide your tears. That was that then. Already planing to phone Bruce. Jason jumped interrupting your thoughts rushing forward grabbing your hands that rested on the table in front of you making you look at him as he saw you start breaking down, ready to run again. They'd heard bits and pieces about what happened for Tim. Jack growled angrily going to push Jason off of you before he started speaking.

"NO! no its not like that- we did- I mean at first, when dad first mentioned you and then when Tim and Damien gushed about you. We were worried I mean he's our dad but we didn't know who you were then,no one told us that you were Jacks y/n and we see now that's not the case. Your genuine and we don't have a problem with your age."

Dick continued for him as Jason looked panicked and lost for words.

"Yes we saw today your miles of years ahead of us in maturity we- well we just wanted to meet you without dad there. And like Jason said he is our dad we just don't want to see him hurt again." he added you looked between them still unconvinced fears you had still taunting you.

"I.. I'd never hurt him I love him." you admitted quietly.

"You- You love him?" Jack questioned you nodded smiling Dick smiled softly at you seeing the honesty in your words. He knew then that you weren't going anywhere he'd make sure of it.

"Then Don't leave him... We haven't seen him like this in...Ever really we just wanted to meet the woman who had made him happy that's all. Were sorry about the way we went about it. And want you to know that not just for dad, but we want to get to know you. Maybe not treat you like a mum but more like an older sister?" Dick said trying to pull you away form your dark thoughts. Feeling bad that they might have just fucked up the best thing to happen to their dad. Your eyes twinkled as you looked at the hopefully

"You-you really mean that?" they nodded you smiled wide at them wiping your eyes.

"Yeah then that way you can let loose a little you know act your age a bit?" he added laughing you scoffed clearing the last tears that had gathered away with a napkin handed to you from Damien.

"As if I remember how to do that, thank you both of you I was terrified of meeting you both , if you ever have a problem with me please come and talk to me about it"

"If they ever have a problem with you they can fuck off and take it with them" Damien growled kicking the table leg, knocking it with a force the boy should not posses thoroughly pissed off at his oldest brothers a cold shiver ran down your spin as you saw the terrifying glare he had on his face. If looks could kill... well your rather not tempt fate as in that moment Damien looked like he was defiantly considering it. you didnt notice the three wayne boys sharing a look holding their breath waiting for him to continue. if you only knew.

"Damien enough, you were worse when i met you and you know it" he snapped out of what ever was going on in his head smirking at you

"I was wasnt I?"

the others relaxed and you were all caught of guard as a presence in the corner made them selves known.

"See Master Wayne I told you if you left them to it they d all sort it out." Alferd stated standing up form the table in the front corner before chiding you.

"Miss y/n you really should pay more attention you left the door wide open after you let the boys in." You all gaped at the men Dick and Jason froze feeling Bruce's piercing gaze on their backs. Looking like a couple of boys who'd been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"yes Alfred I suppose your right but I do remember telling them to leave her alone until Monday so I could explain exactly how we met." he said disaproval echoing through his words. you stood up huffing.

"Bruce stop it.. they were just trying to look out for their family which I can appriciate.. leave them be it all sorted now and I didnt have to put on stupid heals for it"

"but i what if i wanted to see you in heels?"

"then you could have asked, anyway how the bloody hell did you to sneak in so quietly are you some sort of ninja or something? Jesus" you asked the group who laughed .if only you knew.

"Any way I don't know about you lot but I spend to much time in this bloody cafe as it is and would like to leave." You finished collecting the crumpled cake papers and cups leaving them in the kitchen before ditching your apron and turning everything off grabbing your bag and coat on the way out.

"What about the cleaning?" Jack asked you shrugged.

"That's Hugh's problem now, he can do some work for a change." you snickered ushering them all out arming the alarm and locking the door.

"He still fucking around?" jack asked you nodded

"Yep boneing his girlfriend is more important then doing his shift's"

"I can fully understand that" Bruce said smirking as the group groaned you rolled your eyes ignoring him

"The others got pissed off so he gets to be here bright and early opening tomorrow cos the rest of us are 'busy'" you chuckled. Bruce slid up beside you pulling you into him

"well you will be." he muttered kissing your lips you blushed as a chorus of ewws and gagging noises carried across the small crowd you stuck out your tongue at them.

"Oh will I now?"

"Yes a very important appointment with me that may run into the afternoon" he said seductivly running his hands across your waist pulling you closer you linked your hands behind his neck.

"Hmm I don't remember arranging that Mr Wayne I might have other plans"

"well I'm sure you could squeeze me in" Jason as grossed out as he was, couldn't help but laugh at that one even Tim snorted you blushed.

"And what makes you say that?" he pulled away slightly

"Because you love me" you froze in his arms shyly looking down he pulled you back up to face him.

"And I love you to" he pulled you towards him kissing you passionately taking your breath away you moaned as the boys created a big fuss.

"OH MY GOD STOP!" Jack cried covering his eyes as Bruce grabbed handfuls of your rear making you squeal and begin laughing.

"Come on Jack you were the one who set us up to have sex remember? take it like a man"

"NOO! SHUT UP EWW I DIDN'T NEED THAT IMAGE!!" you laugh loudly walking past them all ,wrapped up in Bruce's arms leading you towards the Rolls Royce that he had arrived in with Alfred.

"H-hey how are we getting home?"

"The way you came, you don't want to ride with us." Bruce called over his shoulder kissing your neck.

"Bruce not in the car"

"Why not?"

"THAT IS MY SISTER!" Dick laughed out loud watching his little brothers yell about 'being scar'd for life' and 'never getting in the Rolls Royce ever again' yes you were both going to fit right into this mad house. He ushered them all the other way to his car there wasn't enough room really but he'd make them fit.

"Who want to go get Chinese?" he asked distracting them still chuckling to him self. You had turned his dad into a teenager again.

#bruce wayne imagine #batman x y/n #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x y/n #bruce wayne fic #batmom imagines

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maskedjoker · 4 years

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We are getting really close to the scene in lost fragment of snow that was genuinely confusing in the book, and it's the scene were everyone in the circus is killed. I think what we will probably get is a scene were mana finally ends up giving into despair after he is hit and then allen is fed to a lion.

I think that with more current info, i can say for sure that sleeve earl and mana are a hybird. This will likely cause a resurgence of sleeve earl into taking over the body and becoming whole. This only lasts for a short time however and when cross confronts him after the rest of the circus has died from the audience turning into akuma(which i suppose are implied to be constantly just around the earl and is probably one of the many reasons cross warned Allen to stay away) some exchange of words or damage causes a lots of control. This damage however also hurts mana(or potentially just being forced out off control) causing him to loose even more memories as seen when mana and Allen reunite the next day.

Now i think we can agree that sleeve earl exists as a third entity, especially since her recent art exhibit interview, as she talked about the suit being a super sophisticated golem. I think in this case as with tim and lero yhat "golem" refers to AI. Id argue with the weird phrasing like helix of life and all the biotech style that magic is more often than not just more advanced technology, and wherever the noahs came from likely was, hence why they say they only seem strong because we have become so weak. This is only further shown with innocences resemblance to machines like its gear like parts and percentage resonance.

The noah memories in general i think are some kind of AI that passes through generation lines, carrying significant portions of its past forward and then fusing with a similar person in their lineage. For example early on road would have been just road, then through some means either became an AI(or was given a piece of someone that counts as one under golem, its unclear). Regardless once connected to the noah memory, it acts like a save file and becomes more sophisticated with time. It carries each life and gives all those memories, feelings and drives to a new body. So new road would remember being road, her life and everything, but also the life they had been living up until the two combined. Over time the noah memory keeps getting larger and larger to the point new experiences are so small, relatively speaking, that it overrides much more than normal. Since they are fuzed as one being they likely cant be separated without mutually assured destruction, were the current entity will die and any remains will not be the origionals, if anything remains at all. An example of this is that tyki could not be made human by Allen I their fight i the arc, despite having a blade that should destroy only part of him. Admittedly tyki is a special case though, and more tyki backstory is needed.

Changes from body to body become more subtle, but the base, which likely has a distinct core function as seen by its response to certain tasks and ideas, remains a strong aspect. This creates an almost reincarnation like effect for them, needing to only find a new body to continue.

The suit is like this, but different. I don't know how the original earl split, but i do think that some aspect of him was placed on the suit. I would like to say its the original version of the noah memories of the earl and nea got like a brand new copy, but i actually have no idea what memories he has of being past earl so its mostly a guess. Regardless the noah actually all seem to transform in some way when they get mega pissed. Im looking at you skinn, jasdevi, and tyki/joyd. So the suit is likely that kind of thing, but way more distinct and capable of acting autonomously. Since they all have different forms it makes sense that his would also be unique. They all probably represent some inner desire related to their memory. Skinn is just rage so big angry man works fine. Jasdero and devit are bonds so they want most to be one. Tyki got all fucked up before he changed so i got nothing, but it had a heavy does of sadism, which I guess is pleasure? Taking into account that killing in horrible graphic ways is his guilty pleasure it kinda makes sense.

So because of that, this sentient AI is constantly trying to pair with half a fucking brain because nea and mana only share one brain cell. Some kind of resistance from mana or strain causes him to constantly fall ill or comatose. Now to be clear on naming, sleeve earl does not refer to themselves as adam in the mirror scene nor does he refer to mana as adam, and only uses "we" when talking to mana about being the earl. Oddly enough the earls self pronouns are we, using wagashi which is kind of like the japanese equivalent of the royal we used in europe for the entirety of the series. For the record, mana in the flashbacks uses male or single they pronouns, i don't remember if he uses boku or watashi, but he uses at least one if not both.

So from this it seems millennium earl is a title, used by whatever is paired with the suit. Adam is the original name of the noah, and is the preferred name of the current earl aside from the title.

This circumstance was likely caused by the rest of the noah, who are using the earl for something related by the pillar. His separation either by accident or by intent was likely by the hands of his family trying to keep control for their ends. This is why the current earl is called a broken puppet and has so many things around him related to acting and stage plays. He is playing a role, the red clown to allens white clown as stated in the ark arc. He even wears a mask. His memories and mind have been damaged though, therefore broken. However broken puppet for both allen and the earl could also refer to a puppet that doesnt work as a double meaning, implying they can no longer be controlled or puppeted.

It is also implied that he is still unaware of this betrayal, but it is likely nea does to some degree as it would explain why he became a traitor and killed his own family. To be clear, i dont think all of the noah know everything, and i dont think they dont actually care for the earl. It seems they still genuinely follow him to their death and see him as one of their own, especially in cases like road, tyki and wisely.

Now early i said that different generations of noah would cope woth reincarnating differently. Since the earl only died once before 7000 years ago, id say resetting to a new body with only 17 years would be just smashed flat by any algorithm with that much data. However manas feelings are still the newest, and so still have an impact even on the current earl.

Now we come to resurrecting mana. How? Why? Well i dont know. But my guess is whatever part was the memories of mana for the 20 or so years he lived, or at least his memories at death, are in allen. His curse and weird hallucinations of mana seem to suggest it. Alternatively that part of his soul may have passed on, or it fuzed with the noah memory making the origional mana part of the hive and much like tyki and his noah memories cannot be seperated. Not good regardless.

As two additional things, i want to mention that hoshino is a twin and has always been obsessed with it, so having twins in her book was inevitable. What is extra weird is hoshino was actually going to be a triplet, but either her or her sister absorbed it before birth. She has mentioned it in dgm interviews and i cant PROVE it translates to anything in the plot but its suspicious. She also still list mana, nea and the earl as distinct in every book up to date in extra novels and at the start of her books. Oh and her favorite hat for the earl right now? The one featured on the most recent chapter? Has two faces on the front that are visible, and one in the back thats hidden, and the most recent art has the back face as the only one visible, angrily staring allen down. Great art foreshadowing if im right. Its also usually sleeve earl, if not exclusively, that wear it.

The second thing is mana talking about love and drive in the most recent chapter just brings up the earl having the noah memory of love or devotion or something for me. Ive written about it before but it just seems to fit. This character is all about that from the ability to fuze loved ones together to the hearts he talks with and his drives being based on grand acts of devotion, being by their side etc. Mana also loved and adopted both and dog and a homeless child and keeps talking about how the world is so beautiful despite all the bad. The earl literally acts like the whole noah clans mom by his own words and cooks for them, and both of them go out of their way to be cartoony to break tension. The earl literally goes and buys a single red rose from a poor girl while tyki pontificate on how he doesnt act like a villain. He doesnt take an umbrella because he wants to feel the rain. He talks about how what he does is in human nature and requires a connection between two people. He is even designed with his ideal colors as red and purple with white, as well as being designed after flowers. I know this probably doesnt make sense, but its stuck in my head.

#long post #ramble #mine #dgm #d. gray man #spoilers #theory #mana #nea #adam #millennium earl

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p1nkwitch · 3 years

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For the writing asks: 3, 5, 6, and 14?

3- What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Oh this- listen i have an entire universe for this whole thing with several branching timelines.

Its originally planned with an oc that i have that i ship with Elias and Peter. But im not going to put her here, cause that implies writing the entire thing with her in it and-

Well its a lot. Like its seriously a lot.

So to simplify the whole thing I'm going to omit her.

Anyways this universe in particular-

I love this verse.

Jon is having an existential crisis.

Which for him its not new, but this is taking the cake perhaps for all the wrong reasons he can think of.

His day started normal, then it got bad when Martin was gone with Peter Lukas. He had been about to confront them, talking with Elias first-

But the next thing he knew is that they were no longer there.

Elias, Peter, Martin and himself were all sprawled out in some backyard.

The noise seemed to attract attention from someone inside the house, he was about to try and defend himself saying he didn't mean to break in-

When the person that opens the door is no one else than Elias himself. A few more grey hairs along, but still absolutely him. He checks with the one next to him to confirm that yes it is a double. And not the stranger. He doesn't have-

He-

Jon would admit that he panicked, because where beholding should be, there was nothing.

Twenty minutes later has the five of them in the living room. His-

God he doesn't want to call him his Elias. So he would go for Elias and the other is just other Elias.

Is giving the older looking one an impressive glare.

“So…. When are you from exactly?” This was building up to be a nightmare.

Elias and Martin start to ask questions and the man winces before shushing them.

“Not so loud, you will wake him” That makes everyone look confusedly at him.

“Wake who?”

“My-” Steps can be heard from the stairs.

“Dad?”

Jon is really losing it.

A boy, couldn't be more than… 5? Is looking at them holding a seal plushie. There is something very familiar about him.

Black hair, pale skin, light blue eyes and freckles-

Jon slowly turns around to look at Peter and has another startling revelation.

“Its ok Simon, i have visitors and they got rowdy” The boy looks at them and seems to become smaller and smaller, he darts to the older Elias and starts to make hand signs, that he seems to get.

“I- ok, ok, yes, no. He will be back in a little bit with your sisters-”

Sisters??!!

Elias, the one he came with is looking more and more perturbed and lost. So its not only him.

“Ok, let me take you up, if you gentleman can wait without destroying the place…” He raises an eyebrow like a disappointed parent and despite being 30 years old and knowing he is a piece of shit, Jon can't help but slide back on his seat and nod.

His life is a bloody nightmare.

Other Elias picks up his-

His son

And goes up while talking to him. The child clings to his neck and hides his face there.

Other scene.

“What do you mean the powers are gone???”

“Mm, i mean that they are gone, i tried my ritual and my version of Jon just- did something and especially it cut off every last single avatar from the entities. The leading theory is that new avatars can be made, but those from before? We just cant use them anymore. Its the main reason why Peter’s family is convinced that Simon can help them bring back the lonely. The amount of times we had to keep them from kidnapping him its impressive”

“My- excuse me what???” Peter looks scandalized, his family would not-

“Peter… Do you think they would just take your kid if they thought that it would help them along with forsaken?” The other Elias gives him a tired and somewhat rueful look.

It sets something off in him so he looks to his Elias. He nods lightly and it makes him-

Angry? Being here is throwing him off.

The lonely… he can’t feel it, it's not muffling his feelings and its making him feels off.

5- What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

I would say... Peter? I was rather lonely as a child and preteen until i met my best friend. Too weird and my siblings and i got along, but we have a 10 year age gap difference so they had their own stuff to do. That made me be on my own a lot and explore around the house. His statement just hits right with me and i love to write him because of it.

I am also very anxious with people. If i know you i will have no issue, but alone and with strangers? I would rather disappear in a cloud of smoke. Peter is cheerful despite the lonely or maybe because of it. So i get being lonely too and identify with him.

Also when i do write him? Tim. Happy and cares a lot about a small group of people that he is close with? Loves his friend but can be mean?

I adore him.

Elias or Jon because i crave knowing stuff and deal with impostor syndrome about my achievements a lot so yeah!

Still its mainly the lonely sailor.

6- What character do you have the most fun writing?

Elias, but because i get to explore a lot of things and play around with him. He is fun to put in situations that are out of his control, or perhaps make him deal with feelings that he has repressed a long time.

He is my stress ball for writing.

Also i love his reactions to some of the things i put him though, making horny Elias always cracks me up.

Peter has a similar effect when I want to deal with some family dynamics and what it means to be lonely as i said before.

Mm also i want to write some Gerry but i need to wait a little bit longer for that ;)

14-At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

Except for like 4 fics?

Its the last thing i put, i literally have to come up with one just as im about to post the story on ao3. And its usually whatever I can scrounge up from the story or a lyric line that i like and feel that fits.

I suck at naming stuff and giving summaries.

Everything i do name, is a reference to something else usually so titles are the pain of my existence.

#flurby gets an ask #i love that verse but i would need to explain Elizabeth and that #is too much work and effort #it would not feel right to make it without her #thanks for the ask Percy!!!

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dear--charlie · 4 years

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Dear Charlie,

Date: Wednesday, August 14, 2019 Time: 11:56 pm

I’m curious. Does anyone look forward to reading my letters? -calls out- “Anyone?” -dead silence emits so deafening, I stop talking-

So.. I was reading letters I have sent you. And, shit. The people who take the time to read these letters must think I am selfish.

All I talk about are men, my attraction to men, my desire to have a girlfriend, or whatever.

Which, if y'all know me, you KNOW, I’m going to get back to it.

But for a short bit, let’s talk about things that aren’t guys or girls.

Here are a number of facts about me you, Charlie, and other people reading this may not know about…

I’m very unsatisfied with my weight. I weigh about 195 pounds, and am working to drop to 120 pounds. I don’t feel attractive in my skin. I can’t see my vag anymore.

I haven’t orgasmed ever. I am 24 fucking years old. Why the fuck haven’t I cum yet? God..

Happier topics, Mare. Okay. There is this app I use called SLOWLY, where you create a username, and bio about yourself. You can start sending letters to people across the world. I’ve had letters coming in from China, India especially, the U.K., Australia, Taiwan, Russia, Portugal, tip of Africa. So many letters. And, you do get standard. ‘Yo baby. Send me nudes.’ This one guy got clever and asked me for nudes in Morse Code. I kindly sent him back to go fuck himself. The only person who gets to see my beautiful breasts is me, and the barren vag, cause I swear to myself, I never ever see Nic. (<– Sorry. No talk of guys for the next few paragraphs). The issue is.. like, there is an option where you can send three letters at a time. With an intro letter. One night, I thought it would he fun (WORST. MISTAKE. EVER.) to send 15 letters. (Keep in mind about 4 of the many letters I have sent, do I keep up a regular correspondence with. So, add 15 potential regular friends, and you have a recipe for disaster). Omgosh, Charlie + readers: I never have time to respond to these letters. Damnit, me. Why the fuck did you do that?

Okay. I started a new job. Yeah. You heard right. The ever so fucking afflicted depressed, intoroverted, frustrated, book crazy, bisexual who cant hold down a job, found a new one. Through a temp agency. I work with ______ _____ ____, at _____ _____, which is just 10 minutes from my house. The job is way better than the piece of shit I put up with for 6 mths. I love the different calls we get. But the mother fucking training at this call centre was mother flipping shit. There are so many 'processes’ you have to remember when helping a 'guest’ with a request that I want to cry. (I hope I keep at the job). Please fucking pray for me.

Did you know I didn’t always used to curse the way I do? Throughout high school, I would only curse when I would get hurt (like for example that time an anvil crushed my toe. Lol. This totally didnt happen. Though, this one time. I cut myself on this chunk of thick glass from a broken lamp at 12 urs old, that I was taking to the dumpster. It sliced my thigh, blood was gushing out I imagine. I started screaming. My mom, uncle, and cousin freaked the fuck out. I obviously lived to tell the tale. Y'all should see the scar.) And then I was influenced by boys (since I only hung out with guys through the last two years of high school) to curse. And now, I can’t seem to stop.

I make weird posts on Whisper. My username is ______ For anyone who wants to chat with me about my crazy life, follow me on ____ at @_______. Lol. (I hope y'all know when I include the blanks I’m being funny).

What other facts to share.. I made a friend on Slowly, but work really got me busy, plus I am always freaking tired. I didn’t respond for nine days with a letter, and I noticed she deactivated her account. It really hurt. Her name was Becca. She was trans, but didn’t tell her crazy conservative family. 19, super sweet. Liked video games and Eminem for a bit. I seriously miss her.

Other facts.. Did I mention (no, of course you didn’t mention Mare. All you ever talk about are failed relationships, current relationships, or almost relationships), I’m looking to learn Italian AND Spanish? Of course! Why the hell wouldn’t I try to influence my American self with my Mexican self? (Totally Hispanic in case y'all cohldn’t guess. My mom says I speak Spanish like a white girl. Well, shit… Time to go to Mexico and get ridiculed for being too white and not knowing Spanish or customs) Joking aside, I’m looking forward to teaching myself Spanish and Italian. (Don’t tell the family, but I prefer Italy over Mexico).

Y'all ready to get to the real reason why y'all stick through my letters?

Nic doesn’t want me to explore my bi side. Ken hasn’t been on Skype for a month. I miss him.. (Great, conflicted Mary is back again). Did I mention that today is my 3rd year anniversary with the Nicholas? Totally is. What did we do to celebrate? I woke up at 5 in the morning, waited for him to show up at 6, and ate tacos in my apartment parking lot. Then, I went to work, and he went home to sleep. We are going to Bastrop for the weekend which is just 20 minutes from my grandparents. Maybe I should go visit. (Why the hell don’t I call my family? Am I really that fucking self absorbed? Family trumps dudes any fucking day..) and I hope the trip is nice. I just texted him like 45 min ago of us drifting apart. Because… he will talk about things that seriously, Charlie, I could give two fucks about, then we will talk about ice cream, for example, and he goes off on a tangent about something little do with ice cream. Sometimes, I feel like I guilty stay with him because I do fucking love him, but I could be holding myself back from experiencing new things.

I want to write more. Bare with me for a moment, Charlie. Okay, I’m back. (That was a second break, in real time in case y'all were wondering)

My thoughts aren’t flowing as well. I wish I knew a friend who was bi or a lesbian who would like to explore with me. And not have it change things.

So, I have a shit sleep schedule. I’ll come home at 5 ish in the evening. I’ll sit in traffic for twenty min. Come home. Eat something. Fall asleep by 7. Wake up at 10, and stay awak indefinitely. Then wake up at 6, and start over. (What is wrong with me?)

Oh. More breaks from relationship shit. I saw a therapist. Three visits. It was nice. His name is Tim. (Had to stop because I literally have no fucking time to see a dr anymore psychologist or medical, because my schedule is a fucking bitch). He graduated from Harvard! That is awesome. His attire was well groomed, always. I never told him he intimidated me because of that. But he was a nice guy. Time to go to psychologytoday.com to look for weekend available therapists who take my insurance. I hope if I am to become a psychologist, that I’m a tiny better than Tim. He was lovely, I was just unnerved by someone focusing such time on me. But, that is kind of what he is paid for? So….

Oh. Have I mentioned at all to you, Charlie about how I want to start a YouTube channel? I want to read stories I find on the internet. Annnd, I’m pretty excited. I get my mic maybe with next weeks paycheck.

I feel like there is more to add. For anyone you may have lost touch with over the years, Charlie, does the thought of that person and the memories you shared together ever make you cry? I found a CD an old friend left to me for my birthday. And it broke my heart that we aren’t close anymore. I feel like I .. let my true relationships go in my worst state of mind.. And, I miss her so much. It really really hurts. I’m crying just thinking about it.

Also, I’m not sure if I mentioned, there are rare cases where I will laugh so hard at something I found to be funny, that I make others worried or uncomfortable. But the laughter turns to sobbing (sobbing such as my mom dying, or my brother getting hit by a car, or someone killing me) just as severe. I tried asking like crazy, and no one seems to know. That is, until a month ago, a friend from the meetings I go to (please tell me I’m not so vapid that I forgot to tell you I go to Monday meetings with DBSA for my depression) showed me what I have.. which I forgot the name of. But it is a treatable condition. Something to do with sensitivity.

I can’t hear well out of my right ear. I need to see a doctor.

Thanks to those who stayed with me this far.

I hope to have more news on my relationship status.

I seriously have like two friends on Tumblr. Why do I use this app again?

I love you, Charlie

Always,

Mary

#dear charlie #Mary

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nightmaretyrantvantas · 5 years

Text

I am not my insecurities reflection- a truthful based oneshot

IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ

Ok, this will be a long author’s note but please bare with me as this is very important for you to understand this oneshot. For some context here because I havent posted alot about her yet, this is a oneshot about my Dc oc Gracie Lucio, set kinda in the same universe(i guess) of the teen titans judas contract movie( with Damian as robin) and its a oneshot written partly out of a vent of my own body image issues and partly out of an expression of how I’ve learned to look past said issues slowly.

But this gets very angsty until the end

Now to give a bit more context for the piece itself. The oc herself, Gracie Lucio( because I havent posted any art of her yet) for the reader’s understanding, she is not human, she is a werewolf(it feeds into her story so dont get me started on it alot of research went into this aspect of her character and it plays into her body issues)and body wise looks similar to Dick in the first season of Young Justice. Shes a naturally thin figured , broader shouldered girl who could( if she really wanted to) pass as a feminine boy with short jaw/ barely chin length hair( think of a thick messy longish pixie cut of dark hair). So shes naturally lean and lanky and a little underdeveloped for a 13 year old girl and as a heroine she has toned muscles from years of hero work. Most wouldnt see her having too many insecurities about her body image and appearance, but in truth shes riddled with them. She ages a bit differently than humans, it takes her body longer to develop and even then in some areas it develops differently all together. She struggles to gain any extra weight or build up natural feminine curves, something she wants. She WANTS to look like other girls her age, with more developed and heavier bodies, with curves and more weight and an actual figure. But with a supernaturally high metabolism added on top of a already genetic based thin figure and a intense and sometimes rigorous training and workout routine plus her work as a heroine gives no leeway to gain really any extra weight, its always worked off one way or another. And this causes...comments to be made about why she looks that way by civilians. and though she never shows it publicly she takes many of these, usually not flattering and sometimes cruel and rude, comments to heart(much like I used to unfortunately) and it worsens her negative feelings. This is a small story of her seeing those problems and issues and trying to face and overcome them. This is more centered around Gracie and Dick and Jason and their platonic and sibling like relationship as they help her through her darker times( again, this is partly me expressing my own personal struggles with body image (which arent the exact same as the character but the language and the comments are very similar)and partly how those two helped inspire me to have more confidence in my body no matter what I look like) and also a deeper peek into her complex relationship with Damian(but thats not the biggest focus) Sorry this was so long I mightve info-dumped a little but its important to understand the story. I hope you guys enjoy?

This is also told in Gracie’s point of view

This will cover some pretty deep kinda issues like body image problems and over eating and weight loss/gain and mentions of eating disorders without really discussing them and bullying so if that upsets you in any way now is the best time to scroll past for your own sake, I dont want you to upset yourself over my crappy emotional writing

I do not look that bad.

That’s what I have to force my mind to accept as I look into the mirror, meeting my own aqua green eyes hesitantly.

I always hated looking in the mirror lately, especially after training or after bathing, like now as I stood in the middle of my room in a slightly loose training type sports bra and spandex shorts. I don’t even want to glance down at my body, out of fear for seeing the same thing I always do.

‘She so skinny...is she eating right’

‘She needs to eat more and gain some weight’

‘what a twig for a superhero’

‘how have bad guys not snapped her in half? Jesus Christ I could probably break her with a sneeze!’

‘What a bad influence shes setting for young girls with such an thin figure!’

‘I think He needs to eat more Christ that poor boy must be starving! Why isn’t Nightwing feeding him more’

The flashes of comments flooded my mind the moment my eyes flickered down to the rest of me. To my thin, unfeminine figure. My underdeveloped and flat birdcage of a chest. To my lanky, toned, too flat stomach. The pinched waist figure. The flat empty expanse I called hips that blended too well into my too dainty looking bony legs. I looked too fucking skinny. And maybe they were right...as a hero I was a role model to those younger than me, and I promoted a Bad Body Image for girls to idolize with my lanky boy figure.

And it was a horrible body type I had no goddamn control over.

My species was not an easy one to live as, especially not intermingled with humans. The team knew, the team understood, but the rest of the world didn’t. As a lupinotuum pectinem, or lycanthrope which in easy translation is simply “Werewolf”, my whole body inner workings were different. Most of my kind were naturally lean and thin, like tall healthily thin model athlete body types and in general the females, even alpha females, were practically born twig like almost. And on top of that our bodies developed....differently. I was not raised by a pack or by my own kind after age 8, so even I didn’t know the full extent but females bodies took longer to grow and it made it very hard for them to gain weight because of the unnaturally high metabolism. Add being a superhero who once trained under a certain league member to the mix and you go from being the “healthy and admirable” type of skinny to the “unhealthy and concerning”type of skinny.

I hated it, and I hated my body. I hated pictures of me from the neck down, because they all looked the same no matter who they were with. And I saw the comments everyone made. Whether its a surprise photo Garfield took dragging me into the picture to commemorate something or another or me taking pictures around Gotham or Blüdhaven with Dick on the social media Gar helped me set up, or even the rare photos I’d get to take with Jason or Damian or Tim and get to post. Every time the flood of comments were the same. The same things I now repeated over and over as I looked over my body angrily.

OMG look at that poor girl is she ok??? She looks like she needs to be hospitalized!

Christ almighty BB isn’t it too early to be posing with skeletons?? LOL

Dude not funny that girl must be anorexic or something.

Such a cute sibling couple but sweetie you need a fast food break to add some fat to those bones!

Fuck kid go eat something instead of taking pictures

Awwww you two look real happy! I hope you’re on the way to lunch or something!

Holy shit your guy’s size difference is so vast its almost worrying

how are you even alive with that little weight

Go eat some junk food or something before you pass out

OMG look at her shes so small and stick like! Her clothes look like they’re hanging off a scarecrow!

That girl cannot be healthy tell me someone is making her eat more

Every time its always the same damn thing....

I couldn’t do it anymore. I turned away from the mirror nearly in disgust and went back to changing into more casual clothes, bitterly noting how my clothes did in fact seem to hang awkwardly on my body as if I was too thin for them to fit correctly. Like they always did lately.

Ew look at her she looks so gross all stick-like like that!

What a fucking twig of a girl! Are those her ribs poking through her shirt??

Bitch go eat a fucking hamburger you need some damn food in you.

God that weight cant be healthy you need a doctor!!

“Kid? Yo kid you in there?” My head jerked up from the comments flooded screen of my phone to meet Jason’s eyes, catching the quirk of his eyebrow as he sat across the diner table from me. We were at a diner he favored whenever he came into town to visit, a little family owned treasure with delicious and greasy food and the sweetest staff on earth. We frequented the spot during his visits, our own personal little thing since we’d gotten closer. I plastered on a smile and ignored the slight narrow of those blue eyes, the small furrow of his brow got as I snapped off my phone and set it aside.

“Sorry Jay, BB tagged me in something dorky and I got distracted. So what were you saying?”

He didn’t believe me, and I didn’t blame him. I wasn’t the most convincing at that moment but I kept that damn plastic smile on my face and snagged some of his curly fries right in his face, making him crack a smile and smack my hand away from his tray.

“ Hands off my food, eat your own wolfie.” I rolled my eyes at the stupid nickname I’d been branded and let the plastic smile slowly be replaced by a more genuine one as we began chatting again, grabbing my over sized cheeseburger and finishing every last bite and moving onto the large fries and two milkshakes, hopelessly praying that maybe this time the calories would stick and trying to push away the comments to the back of my mind. I was with Jason and we were having a damn good time, and I wasn’t going to let those comments ruin his visit...not again.

You should be ashamed. All you’re doing is promoting bad eating habits looking like that.

You’re such a bad influence for young girls who idolize you with such a horribly unreachable appearance.

Shes too bony to ever be considered pretty

Does she have a eating disorder or something?

I stiffened instantly startled by a hand on my shoulder, turning off my phone instinctively and making the endless comments disappear into darkness before whoever could see them over my shoulder. The hand was big, calloused, and gentle and I felt myself relax as I looked up behind me with a smile.

“ Hey Dick, did you need something?” He smiled down at me with that big bright smile that made all the dark thoughts and feelings melt away and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze, blue eyes meeting aqua green.

“ Well I was wondering if you’re doin’ anything right now or if you’d want to go catch dinner with Kori, Dami, and I. I noticed that you’d skipped your usual early dinner....” I wasn’t surprised he noticed, he normally did...

Once again that smile plastered itself on my face as I told him I’d love to, and to just let me go get changed into something better. I saw his hesitation at the fake smile, practically smelled it on him and prayed he wouldn’t bring it up right now, god please don’t ask now or I might just break...

Maybe god is listening because he didn’t mention it and just told me to meet them by the front doors of the tower in ten.

How are you not dead yet?

Jesus Christ stop promoting your eating disorder like its a good thing!

She looks so sickly is she ok? :(

Yeah shes sick, sick in the damn head for posting such disgusting pro-Ana pictures

How can you post pictures with a clear conscience looking like that?

Some “superhero”

I was wrong, no god was listening to me.

Dinner was rough to get through, even if it didn’t start that way.

For once I didn’t have to worry or dread possibly checking my phone for anything, I turned it off by the time we got to the restaurant. I even got a small compliment from Damian on our way in, though it was more a snark at me not tripping up the stairs. But it was Damian so I snapped right back with a smile, knowing he didn’t really mean it. Sitting beside Dick and across from Damian, I nudged his foot with mine in a silent gesture to cheer up even a little. He huffed through his nose but I saw his body relax and it made me relax. Those moments before the food came, our chatter and soft laughter as we looked over the menu, and the soothing knowledge knowing that Dick pulled me and Damian along to this dinner so we would go out on a date ourselves, ever the best brother and wingman. The mood was light and pleasant and I could see even the ever sharp and moody Dami lighten up a little by the time we ordered. Maybe the mood shifted into something different as we waited for our food and I was sipping on my tall glass of iced cola, when Damian’s fingers casually brushed over the top of my unused hand that laid peacefully on the table. The gesture was subtle and light, quick enough to miss if your senses weren’t sharp. I didn’t acknowledge it and neither did he, a silent understanding that words would just ruin whatever this was. I accepted that happily, as he was much more engaged in the conversations and even smiling a little more during them as he debated with Kori on leading strategies. Things were pleasant, comforting at that table in those few seconds before the decline, Dick smiling and chuckling at his lover and little brother, Said lover and brother having a more upbeat discussion about different leadership styles and their effects, and lightly debating which work better for what. And Damian’s hand next to mine, ever so lightly brushing against it in his wordless way to say I was still there and at even the smallest twitch I’d have his attention again. Dick ruffled my hair and asked how my online courses were coming along, since I didn’t attend schools publicly and I was more than happy to babble about my classes, and my current work in them. It was nice and I was happy, all the horrible feelings from before draining away as I tuned everything else but these three out of my enhanced hearing. Why had I even felt so shitty when I had great people like them in my life?

Then I heard it as that damned supernatural hearing tuned back in to the rest of the world.

The words and whispers and mutters and the blatant gossip and bad mouthing.

“Look at that younger girl sitting at that table dear...shes so thin I think she should be in a hospital not a restaurant.”

“Ewww mom look that girl looks like a skeleton!”

“ Honey shush….”

“Is….is that girl ok?”

“Dude of course she isn’t just look at her shes unhealthy as fuck. Probably has some kind of eating disorder too or something.”

It all flooded over me and all of my happy mood washed away under the wave. I couldn’t tell if the others could hear them so I grit my teeth tried to tune it all back out, trying so hard to focus more on Kori’s explanation of her points. My hands began to curl up subconsciously, making Damian’s attention snap to me. Fuckin I….no, I cant tell him...I shouldn’t. I forced my hand to uncurl and that stupid smile sprawled across my lips as if someone had put tape over them. I saw his eyes narrow and near begged mentally for him to not say anything or for Dick to distract him...anything.

“Ahem….your meal.”

I have never more thankful to a waitress before in my life...until I saw the look she gave me as she placed my admittedly large order of food in front of me, something that was normally a platter for two people’s worth of beef and sides. I caught the judgmental and suspicious look she had glancing between me and my food and I felt shame burn all over, starting to hang my head to avoid that damn look.

“ If this is all our food then your job is done. Don’t you have OTHER tables to be serving?” Damian’s curt and sharp tone cut through the air and briefly through my shame. This waitress knew nothing about me and i certainly owned no one any explanations about my eating habits, so why was she hanging around giving me looks about my food…?

“ Damian don’t be so rude!” Dick cleared his throat and I felt his strong arm wrap protectively around my shoulder as he leaned close to the edge of the table while Kori’andr apologized for Damian’s attitude vaguely. But I could hear it, there wasn’t much life to her apology. It sounded like a politely required apology, almost...defensive?

“ I am so sorry about my little brother Miss. He’s also sorry. But do you need anything else since we seem to be all set here but you’re still hanging around when you must be very busy…?” Dick’s words were sweet and cheerful, but there was an edge to his tone that gave a clear warning. His arm around me tightened a little protectively as he gave one of his signature charming smiles that could light up half the damn city as he then inquired if there was some sort of problem. The waitress stammered that there wasn’t any problem and that it was fine and for us to enjoy our meal before scampering away to continue her work. I felt other patrons eyes most DEFINITELY on us now and I couldn’t help shrinking into the taller man’s side to hide.

“ I’m sorry this keeps happening…” I murmured to him as our respective dates started eating and slowly reviving their conversation, moving on to mission recounts and training while Damian shot a dark look at the other patrons that made them look away. Dick gave my shoulder a squeeze and i moved closer for that familiar warmth and comfort...my chest felt heavy and my appetite had died and I wanted to curl up in my room and die of the shame. But I couldn’t, he wouldn’t have let me. So instead I instinctively sought out the safety Dick’s presence brought me, like a protective older sibling whose arms I could be enveloped in and forget about the harsh world outside them.

He knew without words, catching my body language before anyone else at the table. He knew me best.

“ Do you want to leave? We can get to go boxes and enjoy this meal all the same back at the tower, or even mine and Kori’s apartment. Is that what you’d rather do?” It was tempting, oh god it was so tempting to just say yes and let him lead me away while I re-gathered myself, same way he did when we were both 13 and living under the same roof...before…

I shook my head and forced those thoughts to the very back of my mind. I was in a dark enough place of mind already without that.

“ N-no...you guys set this up...i...i don’t want one nosy waitress to ruin our whole meal. Lets just eat ok D?” He smiled at the nickname and ruffled my hair with a nod, both him and Kori making sure I knew if things got too uncomfortable we could leave and the heaviness eased a little at their consideration. I started picking at my food and slowly regaining my appetite, once again nudging Damian with my foot to start up conversations. I ignored the words for the majority of the dinner, we even began to enjoy ourselves again. The last straw was probably as we were paying and putting leftovers in to go bins. I was admittedly nibbling on food out of my bin, despite starting to feel full.

“ I swear you are a bottomless pit sometimes Gracia.” I rolled my eyes at Damian’s remark and gave him a small smirk as I licked my fingers clean.

“ This bottomless pit can still kick your ass in training wonder boy~” He grunted and I saw the challenge glow in his eyes as he smirked back, an excitement for tomorrow’s combat training flaring up between us.

“ You really shouldn’t mix up your delusional dreams with reality alpha PUP.” I said something snarky back and we began to bicker halfheartedly over who was winning. I finally snapped shut my leftover box and stood with Damian as we stared each other down confidently, Dick chuckling at our competitiveness.

“ Tomorrow morning’s combat training will certainly be interesting with these two all riled up already.” The words didn’t fully process as I cracked my knuckles and squared up to the admittedly….taller boy.

“ Last I checked Damian I was ahead 11-10. And tomorrow, I just cant wait to make it 12.” He gave a hard laugh to my face and faced up to me with a smirk as our other two companions stood and shooed us more in front of the table so they could leave their seats. He opened his mouth to say something likely scalding and snarky back at me when the worst comment pierced between us both like a goddamn bullet.

“ Damn, I never knew such a sickly, too skinny bitch like her could eat like such a fat fucking pig.”

I think I stopped breathing as my body flinched at the following laughter. The man was clearly on the tipsy side and sitting at a larger table with a group of laughing friends, though the one who said it was standing next to the table with a drink that reeked of the cheapest alcohol this restaurant probably sold, and he didn’t stop there. Oh god of course he didn’t stop there. He kept laughing and loudly making obvious comments at me and openly mocking me and how much I ate to his table, either fully aware of what he was doing and that we could clearly see and hear him or too drunk to really care as more insults and name calling that I had heard and seen and read plenty of times before fell from his mouth. My heart was pounding in my ears as the next few moments happened slowly.

I thought I had seen anger plenty of times before, the worse being the one and only time someone made a malicious joke about my appearance to my face when I was walking beside Jason and it took all my supernatural strength to drag him off and away the guy before he murdered him in broad daylight and to keep him walking to wherever we had been heading.

I had seen pissed, but I had never seen downright hellish fury until that moment when I looked at Damian and Dick.

I had seen Damian mad, and angry, and pissed, a few times in our first meetings at me personally. I had seen Dick mad, angry, and pissed off a a fair chunk of times, even if they had never been directly at me. I had never seen this expression on either of them in those times. And in those few moments that passed almost in slow motion and Damian began to lurch forward with murderous intent the thought finally hit me. ‘ Was this...the first time these two had really heard the comments about me? Oh god…’ I felt like I was moving in honey as Damian stalked past me and I tried to reach out to him slowly, a gleam to his eyes that made my blood go cold.

If someone was to ask me in the future what I believed Death looked like, I would say with completely conviction that death would have the exact eyes Damian had in that moment: lethal, merciless, and furious. And he would have Dick’s cold expression, a look I never wanted to see on the normal cheerful man’s face ever again.

Time snapped back to a normal speed like a whip and my hand grasped nothing but air as Damian stormed over to the man.

“D...da--”

“What did you just say you disgusting drunk.” I might’ve shivered at his tone and I felt Kori’s hands on my shoulders tugging me back protectively as she looked down at me worried.

“ Gracie...don’t listen to him, there’s no reason to cry.” Cry? What was she talking ab--

That’s when I felt it, something warm and wet sliding down my cheeks and dripping off my chin. I...I was crying. My walls and my limit of bottling things in for one day was crumbling away as I watched Damian go to confront the man, my voice disappearing under the surge of hurt and anxiety. I couldn’t even say his damn name. I felt frozen and helpless as Dick stalked after Damian, fists clenched.

I had to do something say something anything to stop them before things went badly I had to I had--

“Eh?What the fuck did you say to me brat?”

“ You heard me you worthless piece of filth. Apologize to her, now.”

I needed to do something anything as I felt myself crumbling. Why wasn’t Dick stopping him why

“ And what if I don’t pipsqueak? You gonna hit me? Now scram. Maybe take your little bitch to a hospital for treatment instead of parading her around a restaurant with normal people!”

“ He might not do anything, But I will. Now take it back before things get messy.”I think my body began trembling as I watched panic swelling. I just wanted to leave and go home. I didn’t want to see this unfold, I just wanted to be home at the tower curled under my covers to simulate the warmth of another person holding me. I wanted to be anywhere, anywhere else then stuck in this nightmare.

So I moved without thinking and lunged, aiming for the back of Dick’s jacket to grab and ready to swallow any shards of pride and beg to leave. Instead I collided with Damian’s back and rolled with it, hugging him tightly from behind and tugging back with a whimper.

“ P-please you two...l...lets just leave...please lets just go home please…” Kori grabbed Dick’s arm firmly and tugged him back.

“ Dick...shes in the midst of an anxiety attack, let it go and lets leave. We need to get her out of here.” He took a difficult deep breath but nodded glaring down the man harshly enough that he flinched and scurried to the bar with his tail between his legs mumbling insults. One of his friends started to stand and began nervously apologizing, though one vicious look from the boy I was holding shut him up fast. It took me and Kori working together to drag the two out of the restaurant and the ride home was tense and silent. I couldn’t look at any of them, instead opting to stare at my feet wiping my eyes.

“ Does that happen often. People talking about you like that.” His cold tone made me flinch a little. At this point I was so upset and anxious and emotionally drained on the inside that I thought Damian was mad at me of all people for what happened. Those dark thoughts began to slowly bubble up to the surface and my insecurities screamed that he blamed me for what happened in the restaurant. I remained silent, too upset to answer. I heard his growl of annoyance and I began to hunch up, ready for a verbal fight.

“ Damian drop it for now. Shes in no right place of mind to talk about it.” Dick warned from the driver seat with a low voice that reminded me he was also upset and angry. When we got back to the tower I didn’t wait for anyone to say anything, I just bolted for my room as fast as I could, at a inhuman, unnatural speed that they couldn’t keep pace with.

I stayed locked in my room for three days, not willing to face any of them the next morning during training. Everything was heavy and hurt and it was hard trying to rebuild those shattered walls of protection, that image of unbothered confidence. I stayed in bed locked away from the world and curled up under the weak protection of my sheets mostly unresponsive to those outside it.

The first to come knocking and checking on me was Kori, asking if I was ok and if I needed to talk. She left after a little while of trying for a response unsuccessfully though, saying she’d come back to check on me later. It was maybe an hour later that Garfield came knocking, asking why I’d missed breakfast AND training. His voice was concerned as he asked if everything was ok and if I was even in there. The concern poked painfully into my silence, tempting me to speak and make myself vulnerable.

Vulnerability killed. I knew that first hand. So I forced myself to stay quiet until his knocks and footsteps faded away.

The rest of the day passed in a bit of a self deprecating blur, only marked by Kori’s two other attempts at my door. The last one I barely noticed as exhaustion kicked back in and I drifted off into an unsteady sleep

The next day after I woke up things still went by in a near timeless blur. I could hear my phone buzzing and vibrating and rattling for my attention but I left it there on the nightstand unnoticed and curled further under the sheets, lost in a slate tinted world of dark thoughts and darker temptations. But that day was harder to drift away through.

The first to stop by was Jamie, knocking a few times and calling out to me with concern and worry clear in his voice as he asked if I was ok. He asked if I’d eaten at all since yesterday, since he hadn’t seen me leave my room. The thought of eating made my stomach stir and my body curl around it ashamed. He knocked a few more times after that, his voice growing a bit more worried at the lack of answer. After awhile I heard him walk away and I barely lifted my head as I hugged my too skinny too unhealthy body close, feeling those blaring imperfections and flinching at myself.

It was no wonder everyone said those things...if so many people said them so often then they must be true.

The next to come by was Raven. She only knocked twice and gave a small sigh.

“ Gracie...I know you’re in there. If you need someone to talk to...my room is in the next hall over, and I will be here to listen. I wont force you to come out...just please remember you aren’t alone here. You have the team behind you.” I bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed to keep my ensuing whimper silent. The words, soothing and reassuring in context, stabbed into my heart and my resolve. I WANTED to depend on them, to throw open the door and break down under the assurance I could and would not be treated differently after, and be assured and comforted and remind of the positives. I wanted it so badly I was scared of it. Or maybe...I was scared of it NOT happening as those damn fears and insecurities and dark thoughts sowed heavy doubt through me. She lingered a little longer than Jaime, eventually her footsteps disappearing. I remember meekly poking my head from the sheets to stare absently out the half covered windows lost in thought, time slipping by me once more to the point I almost didn’t register Garfield and Kori both stopping by my door again at least twice more worried.

When Dick stopped by as the sun was setting was when the harder pain set in.

I heard the knocks and ignored it in favor of the changing color sky the sunset offered, my room washed in a dim orange and amber gleam. Then I heard his voice, soft and sick with worry from the outside and my heart thudded so hard it hurt. Hard.

“ Gracie...C’mon Gracie-girl please open the door. We’re all worried about you...I’m really worried about you. You haven’t eaten for a day and a half...Please let me in...” I almost broke completely at the pain in that familiar voice, the voice I never wanted to be the cause of being in pain or anguish again.

Well looks like I did a GREAT job of preventing that didn’t I?

He knocked again, asking and pleading and trying to reason, anything to get that door to open. My eyes burned with hot fresh tears and I curled up into a tight ball whimpering softly and breaking my vow of silence.

“....D-dick...p-please...j-just leave me a-alone…I-i just need some t-time alone…”

My voice came out pathetically weak and shaking with tears, which I know he heard. There was a silence for a few moments, perhaps shock that I actually answered this time. I felt warmth sliding down my cheeks as he sighed and reluctantly muttered that he’d come check back on me tomorrow and that there was leftover dinner ready for me to heat up on the kitchen counter before he slowly walked away. His fading footsteps echoing in my ears. Was my heart breaking on every step away? I couldn’t tell. That feeling slipped into the dark thoughts that followed the setting sun. Dark thoughts that also reminded me of the one person who HADN’T come to check on me, and the resulting pain of his absence.

The third day had been mostly quiet. It was almost a painful relief, quiet meant no additional pain of--

“ Gracia.”

That one word coming from Damian’s mouth sent so many things through me and sent any resolve I had spiraling away. His tone was a forced kind of neutral, he sounded as if he was trying to stay calm but it wasn’t exactly working. There was something to his voice I had no energy to figure out. He didn’t knock and there was silence for a few moments but I felt his presence remain.

“ You haven’t eaten since the restaurant.” No questions with him, he didn’t need to ask, always calm and analyzing.

“ ...You cant just stay in there forever Gracia.” A stern lilt to his voice, weakly enforced by the faint sound of his hand on the door. I could only whimper and curl up more. There was another stretch of silence before he sighed and his footsteps continued down the hall.

He was the only one to come check on me, a blessing and a damnation.

The day and night went by so listlessly I didn’t remember falling asleep, only waking up to banging knocks on my door. The volume grated on my sensitive hearing and made me flinch. Who would even be knocking like that…?

“ Oi. Kid. I know you’re still in there. Open the door.” Jason’s hard and no shit taking voice shot through me. Why...Why was Jason in the tower? Why was he in the city?

The knocking continued relentlessly, unlike the others. It even got louder and angrier.

“ Kid I said open this goddamn door.” There was no request or plea in his voice. It was a command, a harsh, cold command. I tried covering my ears with my hands and curling into a tight ball as the knocking continued. He wasn’t about to give up to a little girl.

I knew this too well.

“ Graciea Rosica Lucio I swear to god if you don’t open this goddamn door in the next couple second I will break it down. Now get off your fucking ass and answer me.” I don’t know what it was, but hearing his threat sent my body into mechanical motion, trudging over to the door and reluctantly unlocking it and letting it slide open with a low hiss, the banging finally ceasing. I couldn’t look him in the face, empty and ashamed it took threats to get me to open the door. So I stared dully at his boots and took in his scent as he grabbed the front of my shirt and dragged me back inside. I stumbled clumsily along with as he sat me on my bed and stood in front of me. I kept my gaze down towards his knees, the smell of nicotine wisping off his body in a way that told me he very recently had been smoking, no less than an hour ago most likely. Smoke and city is what filled my room. There was only a beat of silence before he spoke.

“ Look at me.” I lifted my head and stared at his chest and his crossed arms, unwilling to look him in the eyes. I couldn’t bare to see what kind of disappointed look he likely had on his face. Perhaps I didn’t want to see my reflection in his eyes, see the sickly, disgusting and bony figured girl with greasy hair and dark circles under dulled eyes and sallow cheeks. I heard the slight growl that rumbled from the back of his throat in warning and I briefly wondered if I would be forced to look him in the eyes. His arms uncrossed and I prepared myself for anything.

Anything except for two big plastic grocery bags filled with fast food bags and orders was dropped onto my lap, the contents still hot. I blinked slowly once, twice, and finally got enough courage in my confusion to look up at his face. When I did I was a little startled.

“ Eat. And you aren’t moving until those bags are polished off understand me?”

He looked visibly angry, eyes narrowed and mouth locked in a fearsome scowl with eyebrows furrowed. But his eyes were soft and worried and it took me a minute to realize worry was what was making his scowl so harsh. He crossed his arms across that broad chest again and I realized he was in his work gear, all the way down to the guns strapped to his thighs. All he lacked at the moment was his helmet and domino mask, his dark hair messier than usual and the white streak falling between his eyes. We had a staring contest and in those pupils I saw myself, I saw the shell I had become and it made me sick, breaking me briefly from the depressive haze.

How the hell had I let myself fall this far, this deep?

We didn’t speak until he grunted, eyes narrowing more in a way even those concerned blues didn’t weaken the glare as he spoke gruffly.

“ You better start eating before I start just shoving it down your damn throat.” I knew he would too. He wasn’t fucking around, I didn’t doubt he’d follow through with any threats made. Slowly I looked down at the pile of food and reached for the first bag, pulling it open and blinking fast as fresh tears stung my eyes.

It was from our favorite diner, and it was my usuals two cheeseburgers and large lightly salted fries with a second order of fat steak fries and fried pork strips. He’d even gotten all the little sides I enjoyed with it and I looked back up at him with a pained look. Maybe that look made him relax because his expression softened slightly, his voice quieting to something gentler.

“ C’mon now...I brought you all your favorites, now start eating...it’s been three days and your body cant handle that. We can talk after.” My shoulders slumped as all the tension stored in my body dissipated a little as he continued to speak, like a tightly pulled strong finally cut loose.

“ Kid I’m not mad at you. No one is. So just eat the food and then we’ll figure shit out, just like we do on any other visit.” I think the tears started falling because his face got blurry and there was warmth in my face. If I did start crying he didn’t say anything, just nodded at the bag. I gulped and slowly but surely pulled out one of the burgers and slowly took a bite, struggling a little to swallow it with a throat that was closing up from emotions. Once I did though my hunger kicked me hard and I began devouring the food, one bag after another.

It took me about a half hour to finish both plastic bags but I did, followed by slamming through at least two water bottles and one thick milkshake that almost made a mess. Jason simply watched over me as I ate from his spot in front of me. The silence was almost soothing, not painful as it had been before. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as I looked back up at him and we made eye contact.

“ So are you going to tell me what happened? Really happened?” I broke his gaze to stare towards the floor as the acidic shame began to creep back over me. He sighed.

“ C’mon kid just let it out already. Who am I to judge? So why don’t you trust me like you USED to and tell me?” Those words shot through my heart and head.

I...I wasn’t trusting him...trusting anyone...I…i...

It was like Jason opened a flood gate.

It all came spilling out with a new surge of tears and mid sentence cracking sobs, my body physically heaving from the intensity as it all came out. All the months of insecurities and pain and doubts and fears and comments and negativity and hate and bullying came rushing out like a tidal wave and Jason took to all, listening to everything without a single word as I let everything out and let myself break down completely, wails and sobs replacing words eventually. I felt him shift and kneel in front of me, felt big strong sturdy hands grip my shoulders to steady me and keep me anchored as I buried my face into my hands and gasped out cries and pained wailing yowls that filled the room and spilled out of it. I vaguely remember the sounds of multiple hurried footsteps coming towards the door but I didn’t care. All I felt was Jason’s hands on my shoulders and his steady, continuous heartbeat in my ears as well as he strong breathing. One set of footsteps dared to enter the room and hurry over, only stopped by Jason’s calm voice.

“ Let her get it out, its the only thing that’ll help.” The footsteps stopped and eventually the wails faded into blubbering whimpers and whines and hiccups, constantly sniffling. I lifted my head to look at him through blurred eyes and got one brief sight of Dick standing behind Jason that sent me into a whole new wave of sobs.

God I’ve been nothing but selfish and now I’d fucking hurt Dick again even when I swore I’d never do that again and i--

I let out a high pitched whine that turned into pathetic blubbered and wailed apologies. Over and over like a broken record I couldn’t stop apologizing to them for everything even parts that weren’t my fault in any way I still apologized for it I just couldn’t stop. Jason’s grip on me tightened only slightly before slipping away and for a single moment I was terrified I’d annoyed him with all the apologies and was about to add that to my list of them when two strong arms wrapped around me and and Dick’s scent surrounded me.

“ Shh shh shh shhh….shhh Gracie its ok now shh shh its ok I got you its not your fault…” I sniffled and wailed out more sobs and begs for forgiveness as I clung to him like he was a life preserver. And at that moment he was. He hugged me tighter and practically cradled me into his chest stroking my hair as he murmured reassurances, assuring me I was well forgiven and it wasn’t my fault. Everyone got insecurities especially when facing so much negativity. How I was so strong for fighting it for so long regardless. But it was ok to not always be strong and be able to handle it. That he was there and it was ok now. It took awhile but eventually all my noise quieted down to sniffles and hiccups and the occasional whimper as my trembling and heaving finally eased away into a limp tiredness. I felt exhausted but in a way different than the past couple days. I felt lighter and the more Dick spoke gently the lighter and more relaxed I felt,all the pain easing as he banished every dark thought one by one.

“ You ARE a hero Gracie.”

“ you aren’t a skeleton or a scarecrow or a twig.”

“ You are not too bony.”

“ You’re beautiful.”

“ You aren’t sick and you don’t need any doctors.”

“ You’re ok. The way your body works and retains weight naturally is not your fault.”

“ You’re only thirteen you’re still growing kiddo.”

“ I was scrawny and thin until I was at least sixteen Gracie its not that uncommon.”

“ You do NOT have to hold yourself to stupid human beauty standards.”

“ You’re beautiful to us, that’s all that matters.”

“ You’re ok, you have us.”

Each and every statement cleared my mind and I slumped against him with tears still falling down my cheeks. His hand carefully cupped the back of my neck in a soothing gesture to ease the wolf side of me, adding a very small amount of pressure to ensure the sense of security and safety the movement brought. I whispered out a hoarse thank you, my throat sore and raw but already beginning to heal. He smiled into my hair and I let my eyes slip shut in contentment. I felt...stabilized, as if the whole world had been constantly tilted dangerously under my feet for months and now it had finally been returned to normal, balancing me once again.

I felt a second, no technically third, hand tangle itself into my thick and greasy hair and ruffle it affectionately, fingers tangling themselves in the dark chestnut locks.

“ We’re always here for you kid. Whether you like it or not. You can be honest and confide in your inner circle Gracie. We aren’t going to look at you any differently...so next time don’t keep your mouth shut.” My nerves settled and I leaned into his hand with a loud hiccup, making him snort. I looked up and saw both older men smiling down at me, both with their own kind of soft expressions. I rubbed my eyes and wiped my nose and smiled back shakily, feeling like everything was going to be ok for the first time in a long while.

I learned a few things a few hours later, after I’d fallen asleep in Dicks arms and woke up on the couch out in the Tower’s game room with Garfield and Jaime looking after me. My head was resting on Garfield’s leg and he had his elbow rested on my upper arm comfortably as he and Jaime played some kind of two player video game, keeping their voices lower than usual to be considerate of me sleeping. Opening my eyes was difficult as they felt dry and crusted and stung from crying so much. But my throat was no longer sore. When they saw I was awake they paused the game and and told me they were happy I was up, as I had been out cold for at least a solid couple hours. That was when I learned the first thing : Dick and Kori had informed the team of the incident at the restaurant after the first day I stayed locked up in my room, and Garfield had let it slip in his rage that he thought I had finally stopped getting those comments, and confessed that I’d been getting bullied and harassed about my appearance online for months. What I found out was all those months what I failed to notice was Garfield fighting back on my behalf every chance he got. He defended me, constantly called people out for harassment and even worked on getting some of the worst and most aggressive ones banned. For months he’d been do it as relentlessly as he could, filling his own social medias with both our pictures and his constant defense and positivity towards me to fight it back. It got lost in my own comment section so I stupidly didn’t realize. It warmed my heart knowing he’d kept my back even when I never noticed or mentioned it, though he waved it off and just gave me his big old smile telling me it wasn’t that big a deal,

“ After all, you’d do the same for me in a heartbeat!” And he wasn’t wrong. But I still hugged him tight in thanks anyway, an embrace he happily returned as he warned me next time I lied about being harassed there’d be hell to pay.

I assured him there wasn’t going to be a next time anymore and for the first time in months finally wholeheartedly meant it.

The second thing I learned was Jaime told me during those first two days I was locking myself away Damian had gone back to the restaurant and used Bruce’s name to hunt that guy that had been harassing me down and gotten a few hefty harassment charges and minor endangerment charges slapped onto the guy, throwing in a sob story of how I was now in emergency care in the hospital because of him. I knew he didn’t throw his last name around often, didn’t exactly like having to do so to be taken seriously. The fact he did for me…

I had a lot more feelings for Damian after that knowledge.

The third thing I learned was that the only reason Dick and Kori hadn’t come by to check on me yesterday was was because they spent the entire time hunting for Jason to get his help with getting me out, and when they DID find him he stormed for the tower and made it there before they did somehow, he was that angry.

As they were telling me this and retelling a very tense video call between Nightwing and Batman during the second day Damian came in in his full Robin attire, regarding us stoically. When I saw him I stood and the room quieted as I approached him, the both of us observing each other. When we stood a foot apart I stared into his masked eyes quietly and he looked into my tired eyes. I saw his mouth start to open to speak and my body lurched forward without me, hugging onto him tightly.

“Thank you...you didn’t have to do that for me thank you thank you thank you…” He was quiet and I was about to let go and move away when I felt his arm come around me and grip the back of my shirt, returning the embrace. Neither of us was at a point that we were really physically affectionate by any means but my heart swelled when he hugged me back, leaning his head against my own and allowing me to bask in the warmth of his arms and his scent. When I felt him roll his shoulders I took that as my cue and slowly pulled away, gently pressing a kiss to his cheek as I did before retreating back to give him his space.

I think I saw his cheek flare pink but I’ll never say for sure because that would mean admitting just how red my own cheeks were.

I’d love to say that after that everything ended happily and perfectly and things went great forever and ever. But I cant, life doesn’t work like that.

But things did get better.

I was under heavy supervision several weeks, with almost stricter watches on my food intake to make sure I didn’t try to over eat or try to force weight gain. Bruce had me stay with him and Damian for a few weeks as well to make sure I didn’t slip back into that dark place. It was a bit smothering at times...but in all honesty I welcomed the smothering because I knew it meant how much they all cared. And staying with Bruce again...it brought up my mood believe it or not. Being in the manor brought back happier memories of my childhood and seeing the man I considered a fatherly figure more often perked me up. Plus I got to see Tim a lot more than usual in those few weeks, a perk and joy all in itself as he kept me company when he wasn’t too busy with his work. Tim was also the one who disabled all comments on my social medias one calm rainy evening in the lounge. I was grateful and he patted my head after as he read his case files. I think I might’ve fallen asleep against him, I cant say I fully remember. With each passing week I felt better and better. It took a long time for my self esteem and confidence to rebuild itself, but it got some jump starts. Perhaps the best part was two months later after a sparring session with Kori. She was giving me tips on striking with a staff when Dick and the big bad bat Brucie himself walked in.

“ Batman? Has something happened?” He shook his head and put his hand on my shoulder.

“ I’m going to borrow Gracie for a few minutes.” Dick gently took her hand and smiled as he whispered something to her as he led me out of the training room and placed a long bottle of what looked like red chewy vitamins into my hand. When I looked up at him confused he gave me some of the best news of my life.

“ These are specially created vitamins designed to accommodate your body’s inhuman metabolism. Tim helped me create them. They're designed to help regulate fats and carb distribution in your body and allow your body to hold onto and gain more weight without immediately burning it off. Take one every week and in a few months you should be up at least one weight class if not more as long as you keep to your regular healthy eating habits, just like you wanted. By Tim’s calculations within the year you should gain enough weight to have a thicker figure, though you may always retain this thinner “ballet-ques” figure...you will more closely resemble the figure of girls your age.” I stared up at him then at the vitamins and sniffled, fighting off tears of joy. All those weeks with Tim and his seemingly just curious questions about my species and their anatomy...the “ case files”...I owed Tim a lot for this.

“ It was Dick’s idea, after all that happened two months ago.” The softer tone brought a smile to my face and I nodded, barely restraining the urge to hug Bruce while he was in the cowl.

“ T-thank you...thank you this means more to me than you know…” He nodded and turned to leave but I caught the ghost of a smile on his face as he walked away.

And once he had I ran back into the training room and tackled Dick to the ground with a ecstatic howl, shifting mid leap into wolf form and licking his face in gratitude, making him laugh as he lazily tried to push away my affection.

I started taking them that day, and it took a few months for a noticeable difference to take place, but it did. My clothes and uniform stopped hanging off me like a walking scarecrow and I started developing the beginning of a feminine figure. I stopped trying to stuff my face too much at every meal and with every week after my self esteem raised back up a little higher. Maybe people saw it in the big, wide crooked smiles in pictures of me now, no matter who they were with. Or maybe the team saw it in the fact I stopped trying to hide my body in layers of clothes, walking around in my favorite tank top after missions instead of over sized sweatshirts and shirts, or the fact I didn't mind sudden pictures taken of me. Regardless it showed and in time I was more than happy to show off that confidence. Throughout it all Jason made near constant visits between jobs to make sure I didn’t have too major of setbacks and Dick stayed by my side as often as he could, supporting me and being a physical reminder almost that I was never alone.

And I didn't feel alone.

And one day as I was getting ready for an outing I paused in front of the mirror and looked at myself, looked at my slightly more filled out tank top and the small curve of slightly more defined hips and an actually fairly filled out stomach, a fuller figure to match my broader than normal shoulders. I slowly looked into my own eyes and after a moment I began to smile.

Somehow….I didn't hate looking into the mirror as much as I used to.

“ I do not look that bad. I look fine.”

“ Gracie c’mon you coming? C’mon the others are gonna leave without us!”

I smiled at my reflection wider before running off out of the room after Jaime’s voice.

“ Im coming!!”

I dont look that bad.

And now I could finally start to see that.

The end.

OOOOOOOH ITS FINALLY DONE ITS FINALLY DONE!

Ive been working on this for three months now and it was really difficult to finish. Originally it wasnt supposed to be so angsty but...it turned out really angsty at the end.

@phantommoonpeople

@kid-crashed

@call-me-n0ni-chan

Tagging those I know will want to read this

I hope you all like it!!

9 notes · View notes

camsthisky · 6 years

Note

hey its me here with a prompt, which is simple as Dick and Damian angff. Have fun!!

Thanks for donating, CJ! I hope you enjoy this.

Just a little warning for this, though. There are some dark thoughts in here. I don’t think there’s a lot of detail, and it ends well enough, but there might be some triggering stuff in here, so read with caution.

Dick wants to hit something. Or scream. Or cry. Or a million otherthings that are impossible in this moment, because he’s barely holding himselftogether enough to exist right now, even though all he wants to do is to just.Not.

But he has to hold ittogether. He has fix tape over the worst of his cracks and go on pretendingthat none of them are there, because that’s the only way he can function.Acknowledging the broken pieces are only going to bring his family running, andhe doesn’t have energy to deal with that right now. Not with a million and one otherthings vying for his attention.

So Dick does what he does best. He pastes a smile on his face, no matterhow stiff and wooden it feels, and pretends that nothing’s wrong while hisbrain rattles with bits and pieces of case information, the new dealers he’llhave to take down next week before they send for a new shipment, and the worry overwhat Bruce could have called him to the manor for.

In all honesty, Dick doesn’t want to be here. No matter how much he lovesit, he can feel the weight of Alfred’s disapproving look as he takes Dick’scoat in the foyer. He can see Bruce’s frown a few seats away at the diningtable at dinner. He can hear Damian’s small scoff when he turns down Bruce’soffer for Nightwing to patrol with Batman and Robin tonight.

He loves his family, but they can see right through him, sometimes. Someperformer he is.

Dick tries to keep pretending anyways.

To his surprise, though, it isn’t Bruce that corners him first. It’s Damian.

He catches Dick in that time between dinner and patrol—corners him,really. There’s something. To the set of his shoulders. The cant of his head.The downward turn of his lips. It set off alarm bells in Dick’s head, andbefore he really understands what’s happening, Dick freezes, one hand on hisold bedroom’s doorknob. He waits to go in, though, because Damian’s got this look in his eye.

It’s the same look that Damian used to get when Dick was his Batman, and something would happen that he didn’tquite understand how to feel about. Dick had learned early on to never ignorethat look.

“Damian?” Dick prompts softly when the two of them spend another minutejust looking at each other.

“You’re upset,” Damian says, green eyes meeting Dick’s head on, withoutwavering.

Yes.” Dick decides to be honest. He doesn’t like lying to his family,especially when asked about things outright. It doesn’t mean he’s going tounload his problems on a thirteen year old kid, though. Dick leans onto thedoor. “I have a lot on my plate right now.”

Damian hesitates a moment, before saying, “You aren’t upset withFather.”

Dick frowns, his eyebrows crinkling. “No? Should I be?”

“You declined patrolling,” Damian says, and he’s not quite meetingDick’s eyes. “I assumed it was because you and Father were arguing once again,”Damian scowls, like a thought he didn’t like just occurred to him. “Then was itDrake? Todd?”

“Bruce doesn’t have anything to do with this,” Dick says, and he hateshow weary he sounds. “And neither do Tim or Jason.”

Sometimes, Dick wonders how there are people that can’t read Bruce orDamian as well as he can. How they look at their faces and declare that allthey see is indifference, or irritation, when Dick can read leagues of emotionsin just the minute shift of their eyes, or the twitch of their mouths. Dick’sgood at reading people, or so he’s told, but apparently he seems to be of aselect few that can understand that a lack of words from Damian or Bruce canmean a whole lot more than a full sentence.

So what Damian doesn’t say tells quite a lot.

Dick closes his eyes. “And because I’m not mad at Bruce, Tim, or Jason,you think that I have to be upset with you.”

Damian doesn’t say anything, but he glares at the carpet, jaw clenched,and that’s pretty much all the confirmation Dick needs.

“Come here, please,” Dick says, standing up straight and holding hisarms open.

Damian startles, his head whipping up to look at Dick’s stance. He lookslike he’s about to protest with a storm of insults, but Dick’s tired. Exhausted. And his little brother thinksthat because he won’t patrol with him that it means that Dick’s mad at him. Which is all kinds of wrong.

“Please,” Dick says again, his voice dropping to a whisper. His lipstwitch into something that’s probably soft and sad, and he continues, “Pleasejust let me hug you for a second, okay? For my sake?”

Apparently, that’s enough to have Damian stepping a few steps forwardand into Dick’s embrace, and Dick folds Damian into his arms and just letshimself hold his brother. Damian’sarms eventually come up to wrap lightly around Dick’s middle, and Dick burieshis face in Damian’s hair in return.

A second turns into several minutes. Dick holds his baby brother andjust contemplates.

This is all messed up. Damian had though that because Dick hadn’t paid attentionto him—hadn’t wanted to go on patrol with him—that it had meant Damian hadsomehow done something wrong. And Dick—that’s Dick’s fault.

Honestly, he doesn’t even understand what’s wrong with him, anyways. He’s tired, and frustrated, and angry in away he hasn’t been in years, and hedoesn’t understand why. But he knowsthat those cracks are showing through, and Damian had misinterpreted them.

He’s having so much trouble with this. With expressing his love for hisfamily. With making sure that they know Dick’s angry with himself, not withthem. With going to someone when those dark thoughts surge up and try to takeover his head, seeping in through those cracks he’d done a shoddy job of tapingup.

And it shouldn’t be like that. It shouldn’t.

“I’m sorry that you thought I was angry with you,” Dick says at last,his voice muffled by Damian’s hair. “I’m not.”

Dick’s sure that Damian’s scowling when he says, “Then why aren’t yougoing on patrol? Are you—you aren’t injured, are you?”

There’s only a moment of hesitation before Dick realizes that this is the moment to say something. Thisis the moment where he can admit that he isn’t okay.

But he’s also not going to unload his problems on a thirteen year oldboy. No matter how mature Damian can be.

“Richard,” Damian says. Not Grayson.And he doesn’t pull away, either. “If you would like to speak to me, I am here.”

That makes Dick smile. “I’m not injured,” he tells Damian. “Not likethat. I guess, I’m just dealing with a few things, and if I went on patrol—”

I might have a hard time not flinging myselfoff a bridge, is what he doesn’tsay, but Damian seems to understand anyways. Or at least, he decides not to askDick to finish his sentence. Instead, Damian pulls away from him, taking a stepbackwards so that he can fully look at Dick.

“I will tell Father that we need to skip patrol tonight,” Damian tellshim, his eyes determined.

Dick blinks. “Wait—”

“A movie night,” Damian continues. “I’ll even let you pick one of thoseridiculous Disney movies you love so much.”

“Damian—”

“I will go and fetch Pennyworth. Perhaps he will help us make—”

“Damian.”

Dick’s tone and a hand on his wrist stops Damian in his tracks, fromwhere he looks like he’d just been about to turn around and head down the hall.Maybe towards the study, or the kitchen, where Bruce and Alfred will surely berespectively. Damian’s gaze is steady, and he waits for Dick to speakpatiently.

“You don’t have to do that,” Dick says after a stretching silence. “Onlyif you want to.”

That seems to catch Damian off guard, but he schools his expressionalmost instantly, scowling up at Dick. “I would not be doing any of this if Idid not want to, Grayson,” Damian tells him. Then his tone softens just atouch, and he looks down at Dick’s hand still wrapped gently around his wrist. “Andwe’re still partners. Batman or Nightwing, we’re still partners. And it’s Robin’sjob to look out for his partner when they’re injured. No matter the kind ofinjury.”

Dick is speechless for a second, something in his chest catching, untilhis eyes start burning and he manages to choke out a watery chuckle. “Thankyou.”

Damian nods, still not looking at Dick directly. “Do you—Do you requireanother embrace?”

Dick gently tugs his little brother forward, and wraps him up again.Damian’s hands are on his back, just resting there, and Dick lets something muchbetter than tape soothe those cracks of his.

Him and Damian stand in the hallways for a long time, and when hefinally pulls away again, and starts down the hallway towards Bruce’s study, totell him the news of skipping patrol together to watch movies and eat snacks untilthey fall asleep, Damian’s there next to him every step of the way.

#suicidal thoughts #depression #this one got a little dark sorry cj #if this isn't what you were looking for message me and i will most certainly write you something else #dick grayson #damian wayne #dc #prompt #camryn writes #thegalacticpope

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peter-i-left-my-window-open · 6 years

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Soft Bias Tag

Alright @hipstaa-pleazz tagged me like a year ago lol I guess I should probably do this! And since I always use T.O.P, well he is my ultimate bias, I think I'll chose someone else this time. Aaaand since I really only know BigBang and BTS 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 well....

I cant choose a bias in BTS. But I always think of these two first so...

1. Who’s my bias?

I am going with BTS so I'm choosing Kim Taehyung and Min Yoongi.

2. What made you notice them?

So, I didn't at first. At first I was like, well Yoongi is too serious and Taehyung seems to not pay attention enough.

But once I started watching all their shows they put out, like Run BTS or Bon Voyage, I got to know them better.

I like Taehyung's feel of innocence. He's like soft, serious, fun, oblivious, in his own world, hard working and compassionate all in the same person. I know there are lots of idols like that, I just can't dedicate my life to learning all of them.

I like Yoongi's seriousness. He's very much a worker. I feel like when he has a family, he will provide for them very well. He is serious and works to get "the prize" (he cheats in a lot of games, but he's doing what he needs to win the prize).

3. What’s your favorite thing about them?

Taehyung - I love his ability to just live life. I mean, he doesn't much worry about what people think. I mean he does, so much that it bothers him when there's arguments, and he wants to make thing right quickly so there aren't any hard feelings, at least that's what I gather. But he doesn't care about things like pimples, and makes his own decisions, like his mullet decision, without worrying about others' feelings. Like when he told Army it was his decision and to please like it. I feel like most people, myself included, worry too much about the approval of others. There is a line there and for some people the line is a country mile wide.

Yoongi - His passion. I could go on for 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 about his passion for what he does. If you don't know, he spends countless hours in his studio. Worrying about their music, planning their concerts, p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶g̶o̶o̶g̶l̶e̶. It's rare when a person finds something they're passionate about, sets a goal, and actually reaches that goal. He did it! He still tries to make himself better - to be the best. That's rare in the states now days, and I'm happy to know of a person like him. Someone who can actually achieve a dream. His music, at the end of the day, is all he will ever have and he knows it and he embraces it whole-heartedly. He loves what he does, and it shows.

4. Who would initiate skinship more?

It takes me a while to be touchy-feely. I mean, not to sound like the years worst mom award winner, but it took a while for me to attach to my kids once they were born. That being said...

Taehyung - we aaaalllll know he would be suuuch a cuddler. And since I'm horrible at telling people no, I would endure it until I became comfortable with it. But once it was comfortable and mutual. It would be all the time. We would hold hands a lot and hug a lot, hopefully I could match him for initiation points!

Yoongi - well, he seems kind of in the middle. But I think PDA would definitely not happen until later in the relationship. Like a 8 months or so down the line. W̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶m̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶i̶t̶ ̶s̶p̶e̶c̶i̶f̶i̶c̶?̶?̶?̶ Probably after supper time, when we're on a walk with Holly, we would hold hands. I think it would intensify as stressful moments came about, like at work, and probably would build to a more comfortable mutual for us both.

5. Who would hog the blankets more?

ME! I sleep with like 8 pillows and a flat sheet, a light blanket, and a comforter. Even when my kids sleep in bed with me, they have their own blankets!

6. Who would be more clingy?

Taehyung - it would depend on what kind of attention I get from him to be honest. I'm kind of a chameleon when it comes to relationships. I just kinda go with the flow and try to make everyone happy. But if things are super fluffy with Taehyung, then definitely it would be a contest. But... wait. Of course they would be super fluffy, there is no but!

Yoongi - same. It would depend on what kind of attention I get from him, too. I know things probably would be awkward in the beginning-ish of things, so I'd probably have to say I'd be more clingy. But that's pushing it because the atmosphere wouldn't be a clingy one. So the "clingy" would probably be always wanting to sit together with him while watching a movie, or at a restaurant, always wanting to sit across from him, so I can see him when I want to, or at the movies, I'd want to share a popcorn, not have my own. Idk does that make since?? 🤷‍♀️

7. Who would say i love you first? who would easily be flustered?

I don't say "I love you" to anyone, right now, except my kids. Not even to my friends, even though daily they say things like "I love you Courtney. I'm so happy I worked with you today." And I'm just like "Ok, thanks." I̶'̶m̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶w̶k̶w̶a̶r̶d̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶g̶u̶e̶s̶s̶.̶ I don't even remember the last time I said it to my ex-husband when we were married. I̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶a̶d̶?̶ ̶S̶o̶r̶r̶y̶.̶.̶.̶

But it would probably be me, in both situations. It wouldn't come out until it would be something small they did that just absolutely made my day, or something they did out of the blue but I could totally feel they put their heart into it.

I think Yoongi would be the most flustered. I think Taehyung would just smile a lot.

8. What cuddling position would you have?

I always always 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 sleep with a pillow behind me to lean back on. So I guess I like being the little spoon. I like being kissed on the forehead, too. So if I sleep where my head can rest on their shoulder or they hug me to sleep while my face is just close enough to their neck to smell their body wash, or sneak a kiss or two when they're sleeping, that's good, too.

9. What colors remind you of them?

Taehyung - soft colors like sunrise yellow or butter yellow, off white, soft coffee colors like caramel macchiato (hot not iced cause I hate iced coffee and that's not the color I'm going for) or cafe latte.

Yoongi - green like the greens you see after the first 3 good rains of spring, and.... actually, that's all that comes to mind right now when I think his name.

10. What season would you like to spend with them?

Of course I'm going to pick Autumn, it's my most favorite season EVER!!! I love summer and the sun, but Autumn has this feeling about it that I just can't get enough of. If you ever want to get to know me we need to go hiking in the mid to late season! Holy moly. Ok anyways, Autumn. Because Halloween and preparing for Christmas!

CHRISTMAS IS MY MOST FAVORITE HOLIDAY EVER! I can't get enough decorating and cooking and smells and SNOOOOWWW!!!

Ok back to Autumn.

I just can't think of anything better than sitting on my front porch drinking coffee and then going out to rake a huge pile of leaves and jumping in them. Maybe even, if it was big enough, we could jump from the top of my car!!! 🙆‍♀️ I'm getting all giggly thinking about it!! I feel like people just open up during the fall and people start relaxing and enjoying the weather more. I just feel like it's a stress free time. (That could just be me)

11. Who would bake cookies and who would steal the batter?

I'm definitely baking! I love to cook!! And we all know all three of us would sneak the batter, but I feel like Taehyung would say something like, "Hey! Make two batches and we'll share some with the members." And when I go to starts breaking off pieces for the 2nd batch, he'd be eating it on the couch watching football!!

12. Who would want to adopt 50 cats and dogs?

Ok so idk about 50, but I definitely want to have 2 cats and I'd hope they'd get along with Holly and Yeontan well enough.

13. Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

Wait. Who puts pop-tarts in the microwave?!?

I may have to put down some rules for the microwave. I feel like the only thing that should go in the microwave is popcorn and sometimes left overs.

14. Who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?

Taehyung would lean over, I just want to sit on the edge. Yoongi would probably sit beside me or stand behind me.

15. What would watching a horror movie be like with them?

Taehyung and I can freak out together and hold hands while making sure all the lights in the house are on before we barricade ourselves in for the night.

Yoongi would probably laugh or scoff at me for jumping and screaming. Seriously I do NOT do scary movies. The scariest I get is Corpse Bride by Tim Burton. I think he'd be making fun of me the rest of the night teasing me and trying to scare me. Which would work until I start crying. I can throw myself into an anxiety attack just by thinking about being scared, so one time and I'd probably drown in my own tears. Ugh 😖😖

16. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

I bet they could both pull of both extremes. I know things would be more frequent with Taehyung and he'd probably be more cheesy. Which is fine. Whatever! Cheesy is super cute! Yoongi being more serious would be more smooth, but I know there'd be times when he's cheesy, too!

17. Who would be more competitive?

We all know Yoongi is and it would probably end in an argument because he would have cheated, and probably more than once.

Taehyung probably would be competitive, too. But I feel like he would be more of "doing it for fun". Not as serious of a competitor.

I can be pretty serious when I know what I'm doing.

18. Who sends memes and who sends cute “i miss you” texts at 3am?

Taehyung would be doing both!! He'd send cute ones probably when he'd been having a bad day and wanted attention and reassurance. And then it'd lead to let's cheer up, and we'd send memes back and forth to make us 😂

We all know Yoongi'd be too busy in the studio to pay attention, but I'd send him some. So he'd have something to look at and break his mind every once in a while.

Thanks @hipstaa-pleazz this was fun!!!

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thewomaninlilywhite · 7 years

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Miss Peregrine’s Movie Reactions

I finally watched this movie on a flight last weekend.

***WARNING CONTAINS SPOILERS*** NOT JUST FOR THE MOVIE, I REFERENCE THINGS FROM ALL THREE BOOKS AS WELL anything with various *** marks is something I didn’t fact check, so I apologize if I am actually wrong about any of those

Sorry that this is so freaking long, but I had issues Also, these are the things I wanted to say to my screen, so I don’t have context for them, sorry

Short Version: I thought the movie itself was well done, but it’s an awful adaption

I didn’t know Georgia Pemberton was in this Opening credits music cuts off oddly Who is this chick driving him Abe doesn’t sound Polish ?? Did it really take that long to get to his house? Aight Sam Jackson I miss Spike (I know that isn’t his name) - like, I don’t think this chick has a gun on her Chick = Shelley Oh she does But it’s a .38 not a .44*** so… I feel like this happened rather fast? Don’t think that’s a letter opener either Find Emerson - it’s “find the old man, get to the bird in the loop” or whatever 1943???? Not 1940 Who tf is Emerson Told him what, we haven’t even been told about the stories ????? WTF is that. That is NOT a hollowghast A hollow is only like 8-10 feet not 3 f king stories (unless I misread the books) ——-side note: I always subconsciously pictured the hollows as something (from some movie or something) that I know they didn’t actually look like buttttt) Who’s this shrink. Shouldn’t she be Sam Jackson - what? Case. CLOSED - sorry AWE “everything’s already been discovered” - iconic!!! Tikrisko?? - Yakov!! NO Jake doesn’t see the pictures until they’re going through the house ?? What is this He doesn’t know what Miss Peregrine’s name is nor that she can turn into a bird He’s not supposed to know the names Bronwyn is older No Emma can create fire, olive floats THIS IS OLIVE Nope, Alma found him. He wasn’t sent this. His family died Doesn’t know what hollows look like. Finds that out when Abe dies All these Jakes are adorable Can they not say Nazis? Because he’s being very nondescriptive The surprise party ong Why are there twins. I’m uncomfortable oh my gosh the essays, at least they did something right Shouldn’t the letter be from Emma ugh So that’s Goland? what the heck Oh now they bring up the birdwatching The doctor isn’t supposed to know about the home*** Cairnholm - good Nope I’m yelling Not supposed to see the bird until they’re in the room And his father isn’t supposed to know Alma Ugh 19 minutes in and I’m screaming I relate to Jake on a spiritual level Whet Defeats the whole sneaking away trust ugh He’s so tiny YAS he shoulda said piss instead of priest but the rap was nearly verbatim* What is this river? Where’s the sheep shack Wondrous Exactly how i pictured it Where’s the old man Oh that’s how Emerson falls in Jake is supposed to have his own room ugh Oh so he is sneaky But where’s the cairn AND THE OLD MAN the twins aren’t introduced until the second book Enoch’s lair is supposed to be in the basement -The kids and the hole. It’s iconic They’re not supposed to address him Whet I hate this I don’t even know where to begin the twins shouldn’t exist And Millard shouldn’t have clothes on There’s just so many issues This is not a bog UGH this is not wrong it’s sickening the twins are pissing me off oh my gosh -Tim just fell in love with them, didn’t he Okay, the cairn is not how I imagined it but I’ll live They literally didn’t even address the priest hole This is 20s music not 40s ong Goodness Oh now he stripped Why is Millard like 7 And he hasn’t even formally met Emerson yet what is going on He’s not supposed to be taken He’s not supposed have this much information yet Whet Olive and Emma’s powers are switch gosh This like isn’t Yea Alma? Kinda appreciate it though like #relatable And Enoch is supposed to be much younger I give up. I’m going to take a break until Goland arrives … if he arrives GEORGIA IS FIONA OH MY GOSH. I CAN OVERLOOK THE HAIR BECAUSE I LOVE HER Imbrin NOT Imbrine - book 3 literally tells you this Now I’m on break 30 minutes later…Jk: Yes Enoch/Victor Hi bird man - you’re ANOTHER new actor “Air - it does what I want” - what does that even mean olive. I mean Emma Since olive’s supposed to be like 10 the photographs At least some are taken from the books Baron - so like forget Jack/Bentham Guess there won’t be sequels rip Hollows can’t enter loops I’m still annoyed by this At least they got the tentacle right Actually it was controlling them but you don’t know that yet Oh, so they ARE called hollows - good Disaster of 1908 - wait. Is the experiment address in the first book**** Because if not this means that Burton has read the other books and there should not be this many issues Oh so Burton Didn’t acknowledge the immortality first Well it’s the souls in the first book But the third book acknowledged the eyes so… THEREFOR there should be more hollows than that jeez Disaster of 1908 - Siberia - ANYTHING ??? Oh, second book ref So bird man’s not one of the identities? Jk he probs is Yup whey No. That’s not it. There are several issues Yea? Hollows. Can’t. Enter. Loops The twins are annoying me Is it a hint that there won’t be a sequel Whey IT CANT ARRIVE HERE GAH Alma my bby This would be so much better if it was Jack cuz I love any good sibling showdown Or, are they setting up a second? but they can’t with the whole baron thing because if he’s not her brother, he can’t disguise himself as a falcon Miss Avocet is still with them ?? *sings* she should have been kidnapped toooo That’ll surely screw up the space/time continuum There we go Wait. Did it just eat her?? So much for a sequel That thing shouldn’t even be there Oh wait, yes it can cuz it’s an evolved one. Right!!!!!!!!! If they’re not doing a sequel, they better not kill Fiona and Claire now* awe they never got to bury Victor’s body… Ugh, but the freezer scene is iconic No lighthouse scene either Wait, there’s an half hour left ?? And why Blackpool and not London - what are you doing with your life Really The tiny boat though !!! Goodness I’m so mad Right, of course, let’s steal the sunken CRUISE SHIP No she won’t, because they’re in 1940 But it’s 1940 1943, way after the disaster of 1908 so it doesn’t work that way You literally CREATED plot holes Bloody hell You’re literally wrong Aughck Still saying Ymbryne wrong… What are you doing So no other movies… rip #salty Oh it’s blackpool instead of london because it’s closer to wales. gotcha Oh look, they reference London and the loop in the tube —but not the one in ST. PAUL’S ya know, WHERE THEY FIND THE TWINS ————-AKA the key inspiration for my crossover fic that’ll never happen Where’d everyone else go The story book is one of the best parts of the series, c'mon Whey What are those *eye roll* SIEZE ONE YAKOV and this is books two She literally left those shoes at the home what is this inconsistency ??? Sorry, no sympathy, Malthus That sounds like your problem So unnecessary Such a Burton Movie-esque score jeez Actually LAUGHED at the hollow getting hit by a car goodness Well, that’s one way to kill a Wight Wait, was it ever acknowledged that they’re called wights? Oh, of course, skeletons What is this music I just want Jake to shoot Baron What the f YAKOV They got the black blood thing* —-that was a thing, right I’m over it oh poor you Eye-dly ??? I hate myself Why are they turning into animals ??? What is Horace’s peculiarity supposed to be in this because it’s like wrong ??? Death by flowers - I appreciate it Nope Cuz Enoch just carries hearts on him wait, that’s actually true nvm WHERE did that elephant come from so the twins are medusa? cause I just thought their scream was piecing Cuz then that stone thing’s so not their pecu- I give up Oh, Fiona and Claire are little so let’s kill Olive WHICH IS IRONIC BECAUSE SHES LIKE 10 IN THE BOOKS oh, true love’s kiss wakes the dead. OKAY I’m so done I don’t even know what’s happening anymore Was that supposed to be funny? YAS Alma Hopefully it’s not Alma though Why is she blue ? I just processed that Why would he stop him Oh right shape shifting Ugh IM PECULIAR yo. You’re opportunity was right there WAIT IS HE CONTROLLING IT but does it count if it’s a wight’s eyes Like, why would a hollow attack a wight UNLESS JAKE MADE IT So, no one’s dead? but how is he supposed to get home - you don’t have an Ymbryme !! Wait Alma’s alive nvm So are they gonna kiss or what Well okay then Aren’t they in 1943 though ?? Nice timing Shouldn’t he have missed calls from his dad? Why is Abe alive? Oh, right. blah Why I just I’m cringing No, you’re supposed to say “but you know WHEN they are” Goodness Right of course. So he’s just gonna live in 1943 now okay Do his parents like even know ANYTHING Are they dead? Sure okay Wow right LONDON Oh now they kiss It’s titanic I love Georgia Damn, it was Alma Why isn’t she with them, she’s their Ymbryne Oh they just needed the dramatic shot Mary Poppins is a rogue Ymbryne Crossover fic - it’s happening I actually started writing it when I reread the books over winter break, but haven’t committed to it because of ALNF… What is this credits music ?? I just don’t even know what to say I think I would have enjoyed it if I never read the books but since I did… AND NO SEQUEL the whole Devil’s Acre sequence is sick (and I also love Sharon) and I also just wrote an essay on these books sooo

Well, there. Here are my thoughts on Tim Burton’s Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

If you actually read all these, mad props. Shoot me an ask and let’s chat about it

#Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children #Warning: Spoilers #Hollow City #Library of Souls #Tim Burton #Miss Peregrine's Peculiar Children #Ransom Riggs #let's chat #jillian rants #but I jeté #lefay

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swearronchanel · 7 years

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6.03 aka I’m still crying 2 hrs later

I have no intro, I did this in one watch but had to obviously edit my typing but well yea this episode crushed me. I’m still shook tbh ahh. Read away if you wish

oh shit I’m not ready

SISTER MJ💔💔😭

FREE SISTER MC

ugh omg I can’t, my hearts about to explode about my chest

The Somali mum is so pretty, Nadifa right?

Oh shit she tryna hide the mail

she’s staying we know that

Ahh the cute turner scene ☺️

SHELAGH MY BBY 😭😍 she looks so good & her little behive omg

“Angela and I don’t have a tendency towards hoarding” SAS MASTER FLEX OVER HERE LOVE IT

“I’m no Marie Antoinette, I will not eat cake..” BRB ALREADY CRYING UGH 😰😰

Look at Valarie actually working & being a nurse

oh shit she’s 9months whoops, she ain’t going no where

JFK on the radio!!

Trixie’s tense, I feel

“If we’re all heading for oblivion, we need to be prepared” Fred lol he’s prepared for it all

No more shock treatment yes 😭💔

damn it my chest hurts and I’m emotional

Shelagh’s bump in her uniform 😭💕

PHYLLIS’s FACE WHEN SHE PICKS UP THE DOLL LMAO I LOVE HER

“Very useful fashion features” so precious, are magazines her maternity wardrobe inspo? 😭

LMAO PHYLLIS “I’ve never needed an editorial to instruct me on how to put myself together and I’ve never had any complaints” SHE’s A GEM

LOL @ SHELAGH’s REACTION

Valarie shook

the reality of fgm ..

Sister MC 😰

DOCKERILL AND SISTER MJ OMG I LOVE IT

“How can I be confident your purpose is sincere?” RIGHT SISTER

“I’m very glad to hear it ” PHYLLIS AH, she’s here for it!! I might be too, i have to wait for next week

omg sister MC, she loves her habit 😰💕 why tf did they take it though??!

FREE SISTER MC 😭 YOU DO NOT FALL SHORT LOVE

“How brave for her” and you!😭

PHYLLIS AND TRIXIE >>

“I’m not sure I have the gumption” BBY 💕 you deserve the world!!!

“Failure isn’t fatal, but hesitation can be” Phyllis is so wise & a gift we don’t deserve

Fuck im crying again

WHO STOLE HER BIBLE !!?

ugh fuck Mr Kenley, we don’t like his bedside manner

Patrick doing research so quickly, I’m proud & Phyllis is woke, enlighten us all

VISIT SISTER MC & free her !!!

lol this little girl, stop touching shit

She’s cute though I guess

Ok Val saying the right thing

MY BBY SHELAGH looking adorable💕

TIM HAS A FRIEND! Lmao it seems like he has none because he’s always with his family. Maybe he’ll get a girlfriend next series haha

“It is you, lost to us no longer but here before us perfect and complete ” MY HEART IS FUCKING BROKEN OMG I AM A MESS

PROTECT ALL THE SISTERS 😭💕💕

YES SECURE HER DISCHARGE, ASAP

I’m crying??!!

PHYLLIS RUNNING THE CUBS

LMAO PHYLLIS YELLING AT FRED LOVE IT, SHE IS SO BADASS, A GEM

“My way of making amends” poor sister J it’s not your fault 💔

LMAO SISTER WINNIE FAKE DRIVING ALL WRONG IM DEAD

HER SCREAM HAHA

ugh looking at kenley makes me sick, go away

Sister MJ & SISTER J MAKING HER BED💕 AND THE BIBLE AND CANDY ON THE PILLOW OMGGG

Oh shit where’d nadifa go

SISTER MC IS COMING HOME 😭😭

oh shit that lady had her bible, let her keep it

aw she did

Oh no nadifa’s going into labor?? ah omg

SISTER MC IS HOME😰💖

“Simply by being here” I’m crying again

LOOK AT HER PRECIOUS SELF WHY WOULD THEY HURT HER

Cuban Missile crisis on the tv

Trixie giving sister MC special soap💔

“I’d rather you give her my love” omg 😭😭

Fred painting the windows 😂

“President Kennedy.. he could charm the birds out of the trees” hell yea he was charming, rip. I wonder if next series they’ll mention his assassination? & side note Natalie Portman better win that Oscar for Jackie tonight

Nadifa’s sister is named Deka, got it. She reminds me of one of my cousins

Val and Babs new bffs?

Oh shit she’s in labor for real

“No knife” omg

I’d be freaking TF OUT

AH SHIT SHE’s GONNA DELIVER THIS BABY

AHHH OMG IM SCREAMING

THE BABY IS OKAY, SHE’S OKAY OMG MY HEAD, MY CHEST, EVERYTHING HURTS

damn that was intense

Gold fucking star for Valarie though

“I longed for this baby Patrick, longed for it, prayed for it and now I’m wondering why my prayers were answered because I don’t know what sort of a world we’re bringing it into ” SHELAGH DONT CRY, Ima cry 😰💕

“We just have to hope and we’re good at that” UGH MORE TEARS, YES YOU GUYS ARE 😭💕💔

Delia making another 2 second appearance

“If God loves me and wants me to do this, why is he making it so hard” omg I’ve been tearing this whole episode

DAMN YOU CTM for hurting my hEART and making it better at the same time!

Who are all these extra nuns

Aw Nadifa, but her baby is precious

Sister MJ & MC killing me 💔

“It is no bad thing to be lost in a fog or at sea..” 😭😭😰😰

“Nurse bubsy” um bitch we don’t need that attitude right now

“We’re all going to hell in a handcart” indeed

lol Trixie wasn’t having it though she gave babs the only side eye 😂😭

Shit sister MC reading the paper no

I can’t imagine living through this crisis?! But like my grandparents did

The world was shook. But we’re shook now?? the world is constantly falling apart

Wait I love THIS SONG

DON’T FORGET WHO’S TAKING YOU HOME….SAVE THE LAST DANCE FOR MEEEEE💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

tom x babs, Delia with the photo of Pats!, fred x violet aw cute montage 💕 💔

Trixie looking spectacular ugh goals

“You’d think the world would’ve learned by now..” YEA TRIXIE WE’RE STILL SAYING THAT IN 2017

“London is your oyster” lol that phrase is funny af idk why 😂

Cute Trixie and Christopher moment though 😭

Patrick and Sister MC! “I was once as lonely..” I’m a w r e c k 😭💔

Trixie in those black pyjamas I still want

SISTER MC AND TRIXIE 😭💔💕

“I generally find that if you can summon the courage to sit through the bleakest day, then in the end the weather will change” 😭I needed that Trixie

“Nothing worse than being wrongly dressed for an occasion” omg she’s gonna ditch the habit

Val you said before there was no normal

THE FLAT IS EMPTY JUST LIKE MY FUckING HEART & SOUL THANKS TO THIS DAMN PROGRAM(ME)

ANGELA’S BABY STUFF

“Maybe I never gave up hope”

They actually fucking kissed again rip to me

“Lots of memories” yes “they don’t belong to the house, they’re ours. They come with us” YEA AND WITH ME TOO AH

IM AN EMOTIONAL PIECE OF GARBAGE, excuse me while jump out the window and throw myself away with the rest of the trash😭😭😭💕💕

BET THEY BORROWED PHYLLIS’S ROOF RACK AGAIN

“A lady never tells” ok Trixie 😉😏👀

CRISIS AVERTED !!!

“We live to see another day” mood every day in america tbh

Phyllis running to the radio😂

“I feel like an absolute fool” “then we’re a fine pair” Pair of fools ugh I’m cryin I love u fools

NORTHFIELD

oh shit, is Sister Mary Cynthia really going to leave the order or just start over? 😭

I know you didn’t get the memo yet son but no liquor for trix😲

My Trixie 😭 look how far she’s come 😭💕and she’s going to tell him soon and I’ll be crying and gushing with pride

Chin chin

THEYRE CAMPING OUT AH, THEN CAMPING TRIP REFERENCE

“We’re very lucky though, aren’t we” ugh MY HEART

SISTER MJ AND MC OMG 💔😭

my heart hurts. That’s all. Fuck I’m crying like real tears

Noo Deka is going to be cut😰😰

yo Val calm tf down, it’s fucked up but you can’t be yelling like that

Nadifa standing up for herself 😭

I can’t deal 💔

“What would you like to be called while your with us?” “If you don’t mind, and if I’m allowed to choose, I’d just like to be called by my name.. which is Cynthia” 😭give Bryony an award😭

“There are so many secret wounds, so many types of hidden scar.” VANESSA YOU CANT LEAVE ME CRYING ON THAT NOTE

Nadifa didn’t circumcise her daughter !!!

“The soul, being stronger than we think, can surges all mutilations and the marks upon it make it perfect and complete” VANESSA IM C R Y I N AND IM D E A D

I hope You all prepare for my funeral, pls arrive well dressed, dios te bendiga

Rest In Peace Gabby Rachel Nuñez, 1998-2017. Cause of death: too many feelings from call the midwife 💔💔

BONUS NEXT WEEK’S PREVIEW:

Susan Mullucks !! She’s so big

Boutta get prosthetic legs, my abuelo has one

“This isn’t funny Valarie” WHAT DUMB SHIT DID VAL SAY TO MY BBY SO I CAN SMACK HER

Trixie slaying though

I thought Mr Mullocks came around last series wtf?!

“Nurse Crane should stand down from duties until the situation is resolved” OMGGG NO

OMG NO SHE HIT THE ANTOINE KID WITH HER CAR NOOO

“If you caused harm to someone else would it not mask you question everything you life has come to stand for?” FUCK NEXT WEEK WILL BE JUST AS BAD FOR ME

PHYLLIS IS SOBBING, I AM SOBBING OMG IM NOT READY

#call the midwife #lets get it 1962 #im actual trash #IM A MESS #my commentaries™

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survivorkomnata · 5 years

Text

Episode #11: “i feel kinda nervous but also just kinda like i don’t give a fuck ya know” - Ally

The F8 vote seemed to have worked out well for me. I believe I shifted the plan from voting Stephen to Jess as Jess has been socially great but I havent been able to develop a great personal relationship with her and our interests in the game seem to differ. I am kinda glad with my position rn tho I am pretty sure the jury hates me rn but my aim is to find a way to maneuver to the end. Stephen and Ally must be really upset with me for lying over and over again and I might be targeted soon.

i am on a train and so i decided i'll write a confessional.

after having time to think last night (misplaying my idol), here are my thoughts: yeah, it sucks. it definitely hurt my game more than it helped. i am now 10x more vulnerable in the game. but, i'm not regretful? i'm now in a less-stressed state, where if i'm going to leave, so be it. no one was really shocked (though some may be more angered at me), and it kinda helps clear a target on my back because i'm like... easy to beat.

now, let me talk about something. after thorough analysis, i believe i have the least likelihood of winning this game. that's fine. i'm not really mad about it. below i'll just provide why i think i can't win this game, and my personal view.

CHANCES OF MAKING IT TO FTC: to begin, my chances of making it to ftc is very limited. i'm in a state where i have no idol, and i must rely on competitions (at some point, not necessarily now). i honestly think i'm safe at F7, but i know in order to get into F2 (or F3), i'll probably need to win a few immunities (or hope people see me as the goat i am and.. dragggg me BAAAAA). other people in the category of 'limited' when it comes to making ftc are stephen/ally/alyssa. now, let's pretend i do win like 3 immunities and achieve that position at FTC. this has two outcomes. first being that i don't think the jury will majorly respect it. and secondly, well, i'll describe it in the points below.

CHANCES TO WIN (IF I REACH FTC): i think i have horrible chances at this rate. ever since jury started, my management of said people hasn't been the greatest. i don't entirely blame myself (though maybe i should), but i don't see stephen w./miguel/luke/jess being keen on voting me. i think the most grossest(word choice?) of those are miguel. he's going to be emotional/bitter, and kind of rightfully so - i did vote him out. but i also got targeted in the first place for trying to save him. i put my blood, sweat, tears into trying to let him live and... well... i couldn't do it. and, in my personal opinion, that should outweigh me voting him. so as of now, i think i have 0/4 locks. i could see current players voting for me depending on how the game goes (i.e ally, alyssa, karthik) but that's so iffy to really count on. now a quick analysis of other players: alyssa - i think she's by far the strongest middle player/has been the swing vote in various instances. though bitterness may be an outcome, she's played a dominating game. ally/stephen - minority. they are going to have stephen w./luke/jess practically on lock, and even miguel to some extent. they are the underdogs that even i would be rooting for if i were on jury. tim/karthik - both are better middle players than i am. they are always the go-tos to make a move. maybe this is a bad thing for them (and by default, good for me) because they are seen as 'goats' or something. i doubt that though. they have more agency, and though i once again don't think that's at MY fault, it ultimately detriments my game. jake - jake has continually been targeted due to being a flexible, snakey threat. though he may not be doing the absolute most strategically/etc., he has that perception of ''winner'' and ''big player'', which alone can carry a lot of brownie points when it comes to voting.

CONCLUSION: So i think my chances to win are the lowest odds because of my inability to guarantee FTC for myself, and even if i do, i ain't going to be a strong contender to win unless the jury comes around to my busted ass game.

- okay, i want to talk about my personal thoughts on this.

i don't think i played the best. but, i don't blame myself for being in this shitty situation. wait. to specify, i don't blame myself for being hated by jury/players. i DO blame myself for being in the shitty position and limited chances of making FTC, which has factors including my prejury comp strength (there was strategy w/ that but i'll talk abt that another time.

my chances have sucked ever since jury started. stephen w. and i were never on a tribe together, and though i was a 'threat', i didn't flip. i did consider it however, but that isn't enough credit for him. it wasn't smart to work with him considering he was targeting me, but that's valid to not vote me in the end. miguel is a loyal and emotional person, 100% valid. i did not meet those terms at the end of the day, and that's only on me i guess. luke showed no loyalty to me and so i reciprocated the fakeness. we never worked together. jess, i DID try to work with, but she rejected that just to kinda blame it on me and so i voted her out. i have no friends on jury, and the earlier jurors are the most critical to some degree (because they can become an unit or something and start rallying campaigns for people).

my lack of agency, which is my biggest in-game flaw, isn't my fault directly. i tried to be extra social and show willingness to flip. of the 5 Kato2.0 members, i think i was easily the most willing to change up the game. karthik/tim have lied numerous times about flipping, and jake has done so prior. i haven't. maybe i should have, and i would be in a position, but i wanted to maintain this veil of honesty that like i was opened 2 working w them, even if NOW wasn't the time. the voted me and then only talked to me abt my vote when they needed me. i have to be missing something. this isn't a bad thing on MY game when others dont want to work with me, but i cant figure out the missing piece. maybe someones lying about what i'm doing and pitting people against me (good on them). maybe i did something really bad. but, it's a struggle. i thought i was playing so well but now i'm in a position of... hopelessness. i don't have any strong friends in the game. tim's probably the closest to me. i'm just... i'm unsure.

i want to talk about the future of this game real quick. this round, i anticipate ally/stephen will target one of me/alyssa/jake. tim wants to target alyssa (according to him) so i can see her being targeted. i'm unsure if that's how i'll vote, but i'm thinking. i think, if i am lucky + smart enough, that i'll make f5 easily. if alyssa goes, theres no way ppl would keep ally/stephen both til f5 considering they are minority n have that sway over the jury. put in that position, im the strongest physically. if ally goes F7 (or stephen), then jake/alyssa are a duo i can spearhead to break up. but, if alyssa has two idols, shes final 4 and well . it's over . but maybe she'd idol out like karthik or smthing n then me/tim/stephen vote out alyssa/jake and... yea. there's some hope for me but it's VERY circumstantial.

my brain hurts lol sorry

So last night I was BRUTALLY blindsided. And it's kinda late in the game for that to still be happening! This is way worse than Miguel or Luke leaving. Karth, Tim, Zach and Alyssa all overtly lied to me about their plans and votes. Granted, I also lied to Alyssa so there's that.

Karth, Tim, and Zach all hit me with the "but we're allies now that you proved you're honest" and I'm rolling with it because I don't have much of a choice. Ally wants to try something with Alyssa/Jake but I'm not exactly holding my breath. I won't buy anything until people start coming to me with real plans. At least Zach's idol is gone so others might be more tempted to make a move on him now.

Being voted most honest was something I ABSOLUTELY capitalized off of. I used it to try and get Alyssa on my side by telling her Stephen said she's next if Zach wins (even though she went and mentioned my name) I used it to blatantly lie to Jess and Stephen and Im using it now to do damage control with Stephen

Honestly the reason I voted Jess was very strategic. If Stephen was gone then Jess could weave her way into an alliance with Alyssa and Jake whereas Stephen would not. Stephen is still a big threat to win and with him here it means that he'll possibly take priority over me. Because honestly who wants Stephen at f3??? Who wants Zach at f3??? Who wants Ally at f3?? They MAY want Alyssa at f3 which is why she's my next target Stephen: Its not smart for me to go against you guys either way

Me: I already know this lmaoo you want me in your f3 duh

Im gonna go ahead and be overzealous when i say this may be the first game where I make f3.

I feel like I've played my cards correctly and If it works out how I want.. i could win/ get 2nd. I can literally destroy and discredit Karthik's game in a matter of seconds so I'm not concerned and Jake's game thusfar has been straightforward. If I can survive this round then I can make it to the end of the game. Omg if its a f2 instead of a f3 i will scream. I'm being too hopeful rn lol.

AHHHHH BITCHESSS I WON IMMUNITYYYY. Poverty was on my side. (I'm not poor lmao). I feel great and I definetely needed to win it considering the fact that my name was mentioned last round. Oh I also sent Karthik to the basement in hopes of finding something buy I also sent him there so that I wont make a target out of Alyssa and break any potential bonds there.

Now originally I made an ellaborate plan to vote out Alyssa but I've done quite a bit of talking to Stephen regarding my position as well as everyone's position in the game. I'm torn between trying to get the vote on Alyssa or going with Ally, Karthik, and Stephen and voting oyt Zach. We will see.

I have a plan for this vote tonight and I think it’ll work. We’re gonna split the votes and if Stephen or ally goes, I think I’ve set myself up for s really good game. Of course anything can happen, but as long as I don’t get blindsided, I feel good about the rest of the game. Of course, that being said, anything can happen and this is Survivor

Thinking about how this could be my last day in the game is crazy. I'm relying on Tim and Karth to hold up their end of the deal to vote Zach out tonight. If it works, everything will change. I'll suddenly be in a real alliance for the first time in awhile. I don't plan on letting go of the numbers once I have them, but I really don't know if I even have them. Karth was my closest ally since Day 1 and he lied to me and sent out my next closest ally. I believe Tim has been leaking information I was posting in the 4-elements chat for awhile now. And I am definitely the target of at least 3/7 people heading into this tribal according to Tim.

Basically, everything should be seen as a negative right about now. But that's not how I see it. Playing from the bottom could be an amazing opportunity for me. I believe with Zach finally leaving, the 2 duos on the other side will finally have to point fingers at each other rather than doing everything behind the scenes. Then I'm just a little bit farther away from the end. Maybe I can still win this thing.

Of course, I could also go home 5-2 if Karth and Tim are just lying. But I think I've convinced them that keeping me is best for their game. Or maybe it's just that Alyssa and Zach come across as too threatening We even discussed possible endgame scenarios where I go to F3 with them. I wouldn't quite go that far with both of them after all the scheming and plotting on their end but hey, one of them can come along for the ride ;). Assuming I don't go home which is still totally possible LADSHSJKDHDKJHKSDJ

it’s rly quiet lol

i feel kinda nervous but also just kinda like i don’t give a fuck ya know

like... i’ve already been lied to and blindsided so many times that it’s hard to care or have high expectations at this point

i’m voting zach, afaik everyone else is down but again that could be a lie or he could have another idol idfk

i’m only loyal to stephen now idc abt any of these ppl

Ally is voted out in a 4-3 vote. She becomes the fifth member of our jury.

#escapenow #episode

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survivoratomic-acadia · 6 years

Text

Confessionals!

Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!

5/22

Tim

WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!

Aren

Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!

QuilLynn

So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho

Stephen

Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.

Aundra

"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.

my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.

Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao xoxo, gossip girl "

5/23

Madison

TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST.

Dan

"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.

This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.

I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "

Sarah

"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!

First season winner and flop returning again.

I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!

Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)

I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me

So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love

Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK

Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!

Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA

Anyways ill be back later with more news"

Aundra

"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me

Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely Xoxo, gossip girl "

Tim

"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great

Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite

Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas

Me: Guess I'll just... write."

Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!

Stephen

"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."

Duncan

https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk

Aundra

"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018

I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”

That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W Xoxo, gossip girl "

Dan

"Our story is........... garbage honestly.

What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "

Heather

Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.

5/24

Duncan

so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel? think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3

Luke

"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!

Opinions on my tribe:

Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!

Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.

Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:

Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.

Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.

Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!

Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!

Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1

[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "

Dana

"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!

Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.

Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "

Jay

I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia

Heather

Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe

Sam

Wig going okay so far!!

Ruthie

I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself. I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!

Tim

Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"

Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.

This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.

Ali

just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)

Sammy

okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.

Aundra

"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good

QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason xoxo, gossip girl"

Carson

"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.

Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "

Stephen

So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.

Julia

So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc

Chris Stoner

"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.

Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.

I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "

5/25

Heather

SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit

Tim

Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!

Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!

Heather

I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.

5/26

Aundra

"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos) xoxo, gossip girl P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it. "

Chris Stoner

Nothing much. We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon

Dan

So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee

Luke

Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool

Sammy

ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!!

Ruthie

So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!!

Quil

So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH.

Duncan

its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space mountain so badly, i dont want to go.

5/27

Duncan

Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later

5/28

Tim

Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.

Carson

HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

Aundra

"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops? Xoxo, gossip girl "

Jay

I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.

Dan

I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (:

5/29

Dana

Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat.

Tim

Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!

Ruthie

"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days! As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week. I think it was SO lucky too hehe.

I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "

Aundra

"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol Xoxo, gossip girl "

Quil

the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!

Luke

My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!

5/30

Chris Stoner

So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe.

5/31

Dan

I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal

Ruthie

My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess

Sammy

nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.

Ruthie

I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow.

Sarah

I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all

Quil

"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"

6/1

Duncan

Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit

Sammy

literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/

Ruthie

So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing

Tim

It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.

Olivia

REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION

Carson

Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew

Aundra

"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed / xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"

6/2

Stoner

. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working.

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2

[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!

[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me

[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan

[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it

[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional

Heather

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM

This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"

Luke

AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^

Dan

We won woo love life no one talks to me

Carson

We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!

Jay

I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/

6/5

Sammy

woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.

6/6

Carson

"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.

Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."

Tim

Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX

Sarah

I hate hate my tribe pt 4

Quil

So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)

Heather

WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe.

Luke

wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win

Madison

IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA.

In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out?

6/7

Dan

"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.

I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"

Duncan

Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on

Tim

Fuck my game with this swap huh.

Aundra

"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder Xoxo gossip goat "

Dan

Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt.

6/10

Tim

Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!

Quil

Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!

Aundra

"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out! Xoxo gossip goat"

Luke

"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)

I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway

Ugh my mind"

Duncan

I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives

Heather

Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh.

Dan

This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)

Ruthie

"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!

I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see! I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "

6/11

Heather

We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.

Dan

I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that.

Aundra

"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean Xoxo gossip goat "

6/12

Tim

Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!

Quil

Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes

Tim

So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.

Luke

"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...

I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"

Sammy

ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....

Madison

"Me: throws immunity

Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.

Am I mad? Not particularly. "

Aundra

"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things Xoxo gossip goat"

6/13

Tim

I MADE MERGE WOOOO

6/14

Luke

"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.

After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "

Duncan

I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack

Dan

Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people

Heather

"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"

Carson

God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!

Madison

Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!

6/15

Sammy

okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....

6/16

Duncan

I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over

Madison

"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!

Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "

Dan

"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???

I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.

Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "

Madison

WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo

6/17

Olivia

Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild.

6/20

Dan

"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.

Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "

6/21

Dan

"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.

I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "

6/24

Dan

"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.

Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.

I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"

6/27

Dan

This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)

#donttaketherocks

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survivormoheli · 6 years

Text

Tribal Council #5 - One World

Welcome, everyone, to our one world tribal council where only the Ouani tribe can be voted out.

Eric, Blake, and Elliot, as this is your first tribal council, please dip your torches.

AnnMarie, how important is trust in a tribal council this big? Do you trust anyone who comes to you, or are you skeptical of everyone?

I'm open to all discussions with everybody in a tribal so large. Trust is important, but easy to maintain. To me, you are innocent until proven guilty, and unless you have lied to me, I'm open to any idea you may have. No plan is good or bad, and nobody is truly good and evil in a game like this.

Blake, you had the worst score in the challenge. Do you think this will ultimately put a target on your back? Do you think the strategy is past ‘keep the tribe strong’?

Ultimately I hope my GOD awful score doesn't put a target on my back... but hey who knows they may be thinking about the merge and be like well that kid wont be any competition for individual immunity so lets keep him around. The strategy about keeping the tribe strong I don't know if that is so relevant now bc so many people have formed relationships. But if my tribe still wants a strong team then I may be on the chopping block...

Bryan, how confident are you in the game post-one world? Do you think your position on your new tribe will be solid after all of this round’s drama?

Dani, after getting a strike in the challenge, do you think you’ll be targeted? How do you assure your fellow players that you’ll be active enough to take part in their plans?

Oh Jay... ENOUGH! Enough is ENOUGH IVE HAD IT! I feel like I’m taking CRAZY pills every time you ask me a god forsaken question... anyways. To answer your question. First of all, I didn’t understand the challenge and had no desire to understand it. Second of all, I had to volunteer all day today so I was just not for it. In other words, Yes. I AM ACTIVE ENOUGH.

Elliot, how has the tribe swap influenced game dynamics? Do you feel more solid with your new tribe or with the old? How do you think the game will have changed after this one world tribal?

The tribe swap has definitely changed the game- you get comfortable and then the tribes all swap around. While there are people I trust on both my tribe, and people I don't, for me this vote comes down to who I think has been the most genuine with me, and while that might alienate me from some people that's a risk I'm going to have to take.

Eric, congratulations on attending your first tribal council this late in the game! How do you sus out where the vote is since you don’t have prior experience with tribals? How do you maximize this opportunity to send the right person home?

Thanks for the warm welcome! haha It's kind of exciting to finally be at a tribal council, especially one where I'm immune. I guess it's important to take the time to chat with others, see how they all feel and take the time to understand what's truly going on. This is a very unique opportunity since everybody on the game is here to vote and it can create a unique voting trend.

Andreas, how much do you think old tribal lines and old alliances will influence this vote?

This vote is all about old tribal lines and old alliances. So I think, this will influence the vote for 100%.

JG, there’s no way for a majority alliance to have existed since tribes are currently smaller than the number needed for a majority, so how do votes get determined in a one world tribal? Is there a cohesive voting block, or will it be a heavily split vote?

Honestly, we won't know until tribal. There are so many strong players who want to still be here the next round and with so few people to be voted its gonna make for a interesting tribal .... I also think this has the potential to shake up any pre-existing shiz. .... oh and hi lynn

Lynn, after the drama between you and JG last round, do you think that animosity will come to a head as you’re one of the people who could potentially be eliminated?

Um the animosity is most definitely coming to a head. I mean even now everyone can obviously see JG doesn’t know how to keep my name from out of his messages to the gc so far. there’s no way you can stop people from believing what they want and JG is obviously coming after me so we’ll see what happens.

Phoenix, what do you think of Tara’s decision to make one world happen?

I mean, I know she was in a rush and people wanted it to happen, so it happened. I don't blame her or anything haha

Raffy, as the numbers dwindle down, how do you set yourself up to be in a good position for the merge?

You be social and hope to god people are being truthful. I want to trust people, but this is Survivor. Trust only goes as far as the things backing up that trust. When people vote together, you trust them. However, things can shift dramatically within the span of one tribal. I don't know how to set myself up for merge, but I pray to god that I am doing all that I can

Richie, my question to you is as simple as it is classic: what will you be basing your vote on tonight?

what will i be basing my vote on tonight???? well i'm safe and so is everyone on our tribe so my stake in this vote is hopefully going to make a proactive move that will help make the next vote i'm not safe at a little bit more manageable?????????

Tara, let us in on the logic behind putting the one world tribal in place. Do you think this will help you seem MORE or LESS trustworthy long term?

umm i honestly was just like walking down a rly busy corridor and i was stressing bcos i had to answer quick bcos i had already kept ppl waiting like 20 minutes so i asked in the tribe chat what ppl wanted n ya here we are. umm i honestly don't know what ppl will think of this! i hope they take the time to make new friends and have fun and not stress too much.

Tim, on a scale of 1-10, how rat-like/snake-like is this game? Do you feel you’re playing with trustworthy people, or are you constantly watching your back?

On a scale of one to 10 I'd have to rate the game as of now as a 6. There ARE snakes somewhere because they are inevitable. However, there are different types. You have your garden snake, small and sneaky but common and mostly harmless when they bite. Your Phythons, the big bad snakes who think they're running the show but their fangs hold no venom. They are only deadly one you've came within their ever so "trusting" grip, but from a distance, they are spottable if you know what you are looking for. Finally you have your Black Mambas. NOW these snakes... are deadly asf. You may not even see them coming but once they bite your life in the game is up. I'd advise that you stay as far away as possible from this breed but their camoflage leaves you unable to know who or where they are.

I feel as though everyone is trustworthy but the extent at which they are varies depending on the context of the situation as well as your previous trust.

I’ll read the votes.

First Vote: Bryan

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Second Vote: Blake

you did not speak to me. you tried to do something way beyond your ability. you were messy. good bye.

Third Vote: Bryan:

Under his eye

Fourth Vote: Blake

That’s two votes Bryan, two votes Blake, 10 votes left.

Fifth Vote: Bryan

Out! OUT! GET OUT!

Sixth Vote: Blake

sorry I have to stick to my guns ....

That’s three votes Bryan, three votes Blake, 8 votes left.

Seventh Vote: Bryan

in tears uh, hey everyone… karma got its kiss for me! puckers lips uh i cant go to JONATHAN’S right now because i got a…. a ticket because apparently you’resupposedtopulloverforanemergencyvehicle and i didn’t know laughs listen, my life is extremely going downhill cause im getting acne, and im getting fat and im blading right here if you cant see the whole triangle there like a piece of hair, im balding IM BALDING i’m turning ugly and my face is going to be fat for the rest of the day and i cant even SHOWER BEFORE WORK because im not going to be home on time! and that fat ass indiana cries the fat ass indiana cop…. gave me a ticket…. and he’s like “do you know about this law?” i didn’t so i said “no”… because i didnt talking through tears and it’s so much money and i only have FOURTY SEVEN DOLLARS and im not even supposed to go under fifty and im going to get fined by my bank

try not to hold-

SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!! im going to get fined by my bank for having under fifty dollars ♫ and i already owe my parents four hundred something dollars and i owe my friend’s mom eighty and i cant get a job now but everything’s fine cough and im oKAY and my parents are really mad at me and my life is going downhiiiill ♫ so if anyone wants to be like a nice person laughs through tears and give me money to pay for this fucking ticket because i dont have it inhales i’mgoingtoleavemypaypal link but like winks thats me winking BUT MY EYES ARE TOO SWOLLEN TO WINK cries and i called to see if i could serve jail time instead of paying but no one answered so i left a voicemail asking if it were an option for me to serve jail time instead of paying inhales you’re going to get arrested for that they’re going to be like this dumbest bitch then they’re going to arrest you crying isn’t that the point that’s what he wants and my friends are laughing while i’m having an emotional breakdown crying SHOW ME SUPPOOOOOOORT crying laughing screams into pillow

Eighth Vote: Bryan

it's hard to not take an opportunity like this to vote out a very strong and experienced player. I wish you the best!

Ninth Vote: Bryan

It sucks that you have to go home but sometimes it be like that

Tenth vote, and the next person voted out of Survivor Athena Moheli: Bryan

Lol sorry bud

The remaining votes were also for Bryan.

Eleventh Vote: Bryan

You're a really nice dude, it just has to be done

Twelfth Vote: Bryan

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thirteenth Vote: Bryan

Fourteenth vote:

Bryan, you will have a few moments to send any last words before everyone is removed from this chat.

0 notes

apsbicepstraining · 6 years

Text

The billion-dollar palaces of Apple, Facebook and Google

How the tech giants are employing top designers to improve splendid represents of their gargantuan global power

We know by now that the internet is a monster playpen, a scenery of dolls, distractions and instant gratification, of chirps and squeals and bright, shiny stuffs plus, rest assured, ugly, horrid beasties lurking in all the softness apparently without horizon. Graphics rounded areas, lower action, Googles primary colours, Twitters birdie, Facebooks colours of blue-blooded enhance the innocence and infantilism. It is a macrocosm, as Jonathan Franzen formerly said, so responsive to our desire as to be, effectively, a merely expansion of the self. Until we chance on the bars of the playpen and find that there are situates we cant go and that it is in the talent of the grown-ups on the other side to create or move the limitations of our freedom.

Were talk about of virtual infinite. But those grown-ups, the tech monsters, Apple, Facebook, Google and the rest, are also in the business of improving physical billion-dollar districts for their millions of hires. Here extremely they make calibrated districts of fun, wherein staff offer “peoples lives”, body and soul, day and night, in exchange for gyms, Olympic-sized swimming pools, clambering walls, basketball courts, running tracks and hiking lines, indoor football tars, rub areas and hanging plots, achievement venues, agreeable art and adorable graphics. They have been doing this for a while what is changing is the sheer scale and extravagance of these places.

For the tech whales are now in the same position as great powers in the past the bankers of the Italian Renaissance, the skyscraper-builders of the 20 th century, the Emperor Augustus, Victorian railway companies whereby, whether they want to or not, their size and opulence express their opinions in breathtaking architecture. As Deyan Sudjic, formerly of this parish and now administrator of the Design Museum, wrote in his journal The Edifice Complex , its implementation of building has always been at the discretion of those with their hands on the bars of ability. Having as much sense of their own usefulnes as those previous supremacies, tech firms probably dont recollection commissioning formations that define their time.

The construction of Apple Park in California

A clue to their passions lies in their choice of architects, who are at the extremely to particularly far-famed cease of the professional range. They have, clearly, massive assets, with the ability to do almost anything they like. They can have brand-new information developed, or make old-fashioned ones act as never before. They can construct the biggest and most expensive workplaces hitherto interpreted. They can change cities. They have already redefined building in the sense that the word been in a position to refer to the structures of software and hardware. Now the old-fashioned form of architecture feels itself an adjunct of the new sort. One clue of the shifted balance of power is the fact that Apple, having commissioned the mighty Foster and Spouse to design its new HQ, have chosen not mention them even after they had unveiled the plans. The campaign is still not on the Foster website. The Apple brand had to come first.

Most though not all of these new organizes are in the convene of towns, suburbiums and small cities that goes by the refer of Silicon Valley. There is the Foster project, Apple Park in Cupertino, 2.8 m sq ft in length and reportedly expenditure$ 5bn, at its centre a mile in circumference, visible from room, a metal and glass circle that are currently almost complete. There are the planned Google headquarters in Mountain View and London by the high-ego, high-reputation pairing of Bjarke Ingels and Thomas Heatherwick. Facebook has hired the New York office of OMA, these best practices founded by Rem Koolhaas, to add to the Frank Gehry-designed complex in Menlo Park that was completed in 2015.

The one that dominates increased attention, and has done since the specific characteristics were unveiled in 2011, is the Apple/ Foster circle, built on a place vacated by the waning empire of Hewlett Packard, which as it happens was the company that presented the teenage Steve Jobs his first infringe. According to Wired magazine, the building preoccupied Jobs in his last months, and he would waste his treasured time on five- or six-hour sessions on its motif. In June 2011, visibly ailing, he appeared in person in front of a starstruck Cupertino city council, with members of the audience snapping him with what now look like Jurassic cameras, to convince them of its merits. He didnt have to try too hard.

The accomplished Apple Park in Cupertino, California, which opened in April 2017. Photograph: Alamy

Weve had some enormous architects to work with, he said, some of the best in the world I recall, and weve come up with a blueprint that gives 12,000 beings in one construct. The gathering gasped. Hed construed place commons with lots of constructs but they get birthing pretty rapidly. So he proposed, acquainting a analogy that has since protruded to the design like dust to a MacBook screen, something a little like a spaceship property with a exquisite courtyard in the middle. Its a circle and so its bowed all the way round, he said, which as you know if you build occasions is not the cheapest lane to build something. Theres not a straight bit of glass on this building. At the same season the meridian would never transcend four storeys we want the whole place human-scale. There would be 6,000 trees on the 150 -acre site, selected with the help of a elderly arborist from Stanford whos very good with indigenous trees around this area.

When a council member said that the word splendid is an understatement, Jobs didnt demur. I think we do have a shot at building the best office building in the world, he said. I genuinely do think that structure students will come here to see this, I think it could be that good. He batted away mild is asking for a few benefits for the vicinity free wifi, opening an Apple store, mitigating the increase in transaction and in the nicest possible method reminds me of “thats been” the largest taxpayer in Cupertino, so wed like to continue to stay here and pay taxes. If the city asked for too much, in other words, Apple would decamp to a competitive municipality.

The mayor waved an iPad 2( which too gazes Jurassic now) and said how much his daughter loved it. Your technologies genuinely do everybody proud, said another council member. Well thanks, said Jobs, were proud to be in Cupertino very. Thanks, she sounded back, like a giddy teenager. In due direction the project was approved.

Jobs was in fact downplaying the curves exceptionalness. Lately Steven Levy, a reporter for Wired , was let through Apples PR palisades to look inside the nearly-finished house. He described a high-precision Xanadu, a feel-good Spectre basi, on which Lord Foster and his crew were assisted by Apples famed premier design officer also, as it happens, British-born Sir Jonathan Ive. After a drive down a pristine 755 -foot long tunnel, invest in specifically designed and patented tiles, he detected a world-wide of whiteness, greenery and silver, with a 100,000 sq ft fitness centre and a cafe that can act 4,000 at once, with the 1,000 -seat Steve Jobs theatre, surmounted by a 165 ft-wide glass cylinder, for Apples far-famed produce openings, and with a scenery designed to mimic a national park.

It is a place where trees have been transplanted from the Mojave desert, where the aluminium door-handles have been through multiple prototypes to achieve their perfect organize, where the stairs use fire-control systems acquired from ships, where the extended glass has been specifically considered to achieve precisely the desired degree of transparency and whiteness, where even a new various kinds of pizza casket that stops the contents going soggy has been invented and patented for the company coffeehouse. The doorways have perfectly flat thresholds because, according to a creation administrator reported by Reuters, if architects had to adjust their gait when penetrating the building, they gambled distraction from their work.

In life Jobs was pitiless about the detail; since his death his admirers have striven to be true to his atmosphere. He specified how the beam wall-linings should be cut and at what time of year, to minimise its exhaust material. There is a yoga room, reports Levy, that is covered in stone, from merely the right excavate in Kansas, thats been carefully distressed, like a duo of jeans, to make it definitely sounds like the stone at Jobss favourite inn in Yosemite. There are the sliding glass doorways to the cafe, four storeys or 85 paws high, each weighing 440,000 lbs practically 200 tonnes, that open and close with the help of near-noiseless underground mechanisms. Apple Park uses the largest, heaviest single pieces of glass ever installed on a structure, with the added complication of being curved.

It is certainly a think of our age, though to what end is an open question. Jonathan Ive told Wired that the main aims were the connection and collaboration it would allow between hires. For Foster it is a beautiful object descended on this verdant, comfortable landscape a true utopian vision. One of its objects is to inspire future Apple works with its perfection and attention to item, to give high standards for them to follow in their work. Tim Cook, Apples CEO, called it a 100 -year decision.

Ever since the design was unveiled, however, it has precipitated scepticism. The architecture critic of the LA Times called it a retrograded cocoon, doggedly old-fashioned. As a perfect and omitting bit of modernist geometry, defined within luxuriant set and is dependant on large amounts of car parking, it ogles strangely like a corporate HQ of the 1950 s or 60 s, something that IBM or Bell Labs might have improved,which you would have speculated is precisely the looking Apple wouldnt want. And a curve is a frozen species, hard to modify or augment. At any given point in time, the relationship to the rest is much the same as at any other item, which seems to work against Ives hopes for communications and spontaneity. It is the shape of infinity and eternity, of mausoleums and temples.

Facebook HQs rooftop common designed by Frank Gehry. Picture: Oliver Wainwright for the Guardian

Many of the greatest fabrications in modern technology have been realized in rough and ready, easy-to-adapt infinites in the garages, front room and acquired role tables where Apple, Google and others were hatched and in Building 20, the large-scale wooden molted at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology where significant advance were drawn in linguistics, nuclear science, acoustics and computing, to call but a few. And while its hopeless for a company the size of Apple to recreate that exact atmosphere in its workplace, the big circle does look over-determined and more complete, as well as expensive and slow to construct. Promotes knockout and utopia are not able to induce the best medium for fast-moving invention. As for Cooks 100 -year ambition, this seems strange and hubristic as the decline of Hewlett Packard demoes, there is little reason to think that any tech corporation can last that long, in which lawsuit the Apple circle will, like the crumbling skill deco skyscrapers of Detroit, be splendidly redundant.

There is another line of analysi, which is that those terrified and tax-hungry members of Cupertino city council didnt push hard enough for the help that their community involves. If the fact that there is Apple is chiefly an immense boon for them it also brings push on dwelling and transportation, creating traffic jam and long travels and pushing the median cost of a home in Cupertino to nearly$ 2m. The layout novelist Allison Arieff recently bickered in the New York Times that the proposed project pictures a flagrant disregard is not simply for the citizens of Cupertino but too for the functionality of the states of the region. It should, she says, have seen more great efforts to is attached to public transport and the city should try harder to address the home necessitate that Apples attendance generates.

It doesnt often pay to bet against Apples judgment, and there may be intelligence in development projects that is not visible in the existing information. The companionship asset and supremacy may in any case be enough to counteract any unhelpfulness in its building, but Apple Park looks like the sort of splendid tombstone that empires construct for themselves Lutyenss houses for the British Raj in Delhi, the skyscrapers that moved up on the cusp of the Wall Street crash after they have elapsed their predominance. It may also be governed by excess if intelligible respect for Jobs. It is a place imbued with his account and his reveries. They call it Steves gift. It had better not be Steves millstone.

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and architect Frank Gehry discuss representations of Facebooks Menlo Park campus. Image: Facebook/ AFP

It is, at all events, the project against which other tech business suggestions want to define themselves. They want to be the things that it is not. The official narrative of the Facebook/ Gehry collaboration is that Mark Zuckerberg was cautious of the inventors luminary and the latter had to convince him of his ability to deliver the project with the assistance of Gehrys in-house software more cheaply and effectively than his adversaries. The finished form is from the rough-edged and rumpus-room institutions of tech HQ design, with a huge open-plan office containing 2,800 workers and splashy, colorful operates by local artists. The building itself is pretty simple and isnt imagination. Thats on purpose, said Zuckerberg. We require our space to feel like a work in progress. When you penetrate our constructs, we want you to feel how much left there is to be done in our mission to connect the world.

Shohei Shigematsu, project partners at OMA New York in charge of Facebooks recent swelling, Willow Campus, is indicated that our operation was not to provide iconic architecture but also regional and social suppose. He and his buyer, he says, want to integrate with community and support parish amenity, to support the things that the community urgently misses a convenience store, open space, 1,500 dwellings of which 15% will be offered at below marketplace hires, a hotel, greenways, residential gaits, shopping streets. Facebook is the perfect company, Shigematsu also says, their assignment is to connect beings, and network is a word the hell is virtual but too physical. So he wants to apply that mission to urban desires for connectivity in the Bay Area.

He wants to re-activate a disused railing passageway at the leading edge of the locate as a cycling way, a pedestrian roadway and a possible line for a Facebook shuttle that can also be used by the public. He wants to undo the corporate fortress-like approaching, although he acknowledges that a immense fellowship will always have secrets and that is something that of the national territory will be out of bounds to members of the public. The imagery written so far reveals generically pleasant ballparks and streets, of the nature that well-mannered urbanists ought to have generating for more than three decades, with nothing of the provocation, astonish and signature perversion that you often get with OMA activities. Shigematsu says he is happy to accept any particular level of cliche in the form it is the large-scale thinking that matters to him.

Google miss something else again. Theyre emphatically not afraid of icons. After weighing many architects Zaha Hadid, for example they shotgunned Heatherwick and Bjarke Ingelss practice, BIG, into a marriage. Its a striking sentiment, like a billionaire hiring Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears to perform at his sprogs 18 th birthday. Heatherwick and Ingels are among the younger drafts to the grades of iconists, unabashed entertainers, purveyors of WTF spectaculars untrammelled by the academic scruples of older designers. One of the two might be considered ample for any one assignment, but then organizations like Google dont play by normal rules when it comes to hiring designers, or surely much else.

BIG and Heatherwicks design for Googles brand-new London headquarters in Kings Cross. Picture: HayesDavidson

At Mountain View, where permission was lately granted to proceed, a huge roof is proposed, both mountainous and tent-like, with upward-curving openings smile-shaped clerestories for deeming the sky. Beneath its capacious shelter, on a promoted open deck, hundreds if not thousands of Googlers will be doing their trash. The next tier down a publicly accessible roadway leads through, part of a programme of employing with these communities that also includes a public plaza for group tai chi and whatever. It is framed by oval oak thickets.

If Apple Park seems aloof and extraterrestrial despite the fact that a lot of its landscape is open to the public then Facebook and Google require you to know how much, like street jugglers or mime artists, they want to engage you. But there are currently similarities between all these projects, such as the all-embracing quality of their passions. Each campus is a self-contained universe where everything the species of botany, the graphics, the food in the coffeehouse, the programming of incidents, the structure, is determined by the management. They make their own weather.

Under the Google tent or inside the Apple circle there is little but googleness or appleness. There is quality but despite the meticulous selection of native floras it is of an abstract, finagled kind. There is art, but it is drained of the authority to offend and subvert, leaving alone recreation and reassurance. There is architecture but , notwithstanding the high degree of invention that goes into cloths, it procures it hard to shed the quality of computer supplies, the sense that buildings are made of a kind of digistuff, which could as well be one thing or the other. Even when the corporations reach out to their communities, to use the preferred PR terminology, the countries of the world is a hazy, ill-defined entity, a mist in the background of the computer-generated images.

These panoptical worlds are in accordance of the sheer magnitude of “owners corporations”, but they also show their mindset. It has been pointed out that tech campuses resemble hippie communes of the 1960 s in their obvious egalitarianism, their illusion that you can go back to quality, draw your own principles, liberate yourself with scientific and share everything. Physically, Googles large-scale ceiling echoes the geodesic domes that hippies put up in their rural retreats.

While their sci-fi is strangely dated, culturally it represents gumption. As the author Fred Turner has argued in From Counterculture to Cyberculture , radical Californian ideas of the 1960 s were, with added revenue inducement, converted into radical Californian technologies of recent decades. And as has been belatedly dawning, there are limits to the sharing, equality and impunity, especially when the intellectual property and business strategies of the tech monstrous are at post. Their building makes form to these negations, to the combinations of openness and control and of freedom and hindrances. They are perfect sketches of the obvious equality and actual inequality of the tech sphere, where impermeable septa partition those in the inner circles from the remainder. There is inequality everywhere, of course, but the tech manoeuvre is to claim that there isnt.

The Amazon Spheres, added to the Amazon campus in downtown Seattle, are Eden Project-style biodomes. Image: AP

Sometimes tech HQs find themselves in the middle of big cities, rather than the compliant sprawl of Silicon Valley, which causes them to modify but not abandon their hippie-commune mentality. Amazon has chosen to situate itself in downtown Seattle, where it is believed to occupy 15 -2 0% of the available role opening, which allows it to boast that 20% of its 25,000 hires go to undertaking. To its moderately anodyne assembly of its term of office pulley-blocks it has just added the Spheres, an urban Eden Project of interlocking foams, where its employees will wander, in Costa Rican temperatures, among tropical groves and waterfalls.

At Kings Cross in London pressure of space has obliged the stacking-up of Googles campus into an 11 -storey, one-million-square-foot structure as long as the Shard is towering. Here the fun and games of the inside a prom that ascends past cafe and fantastic plays facilities to a rooftop scenery of headland, battlefields, plot and plateau are constricted into an exterior that takes its cue from the moderately po-faced regularity of its term of office cubes around it, and from the recurring rows of the rail ways down one surface. These tempi then get jiggered, as if the internal power cant be contained any longer.

The proposed house is one of the more convincing architectural layouts so far by either BIG or Heatherwick, in which the encounter of campus and metropolis produces tighten and friction, pushing and plucking, activity and reaction. It is also a decided organization, unafraid of its proportion, amid the more indecisive pulley-blocks around, which is something the sphere necessitates. But it is still inward-looking, offering a conventional role entering plus an display of retail groups to the street. If the same can be said of other place builds nearby, one could have hoped that the strength of Google could have achieved more.

When Microsoft was in its solemnity it was happy to occupy a bland scattering of low-grade constructs on the edge of Seattle. It still does. Its also impressing that for all its notoriety Silicon Valley becomes little mark on the visual consciousness “of the worlds” theres not a strong feel of what it actually consider this to be. Until now it has lacked landmarks. But that is something that superpower and that much fund will not always be happy to be unobtrusive. We are only just beginning to see the ways in which it can change the landscape of cities.

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samanthasroberts · 6 years

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Alex Rodriguez is Major League Baseball’s last megastar, and that’s OK

David Lengel: A-Rods fame transcends baseball; plus, Prince Fielder retires, Gary Sheffield demands respect for Tim Tebow and the Mets manager Terry Collins is under fire

All the way to the bitter end, and it is bitter, the fans want A-Rod. On Tuesday night, with Alex Rodriguez bizarrely left out of the lineup by the Yankees manager, Joe Girardi, Boston Red Sox fans chanted his name at Fenway Park, letting Bombers brass know they made a mistake by sitting the slugger who is (for now) set to retire after one more big night in the Bronx, this coming Friday against Tampa Bay.

Can you blame the Yankees for sticking it to their man, even if he was, at least seemingly, provided with a graceful exit plan on Sunday? After all, were talking about player who tried to torch his employers, the league he played in and the union who helped guarantee most of his 10-year, $275m deal during a scorched-earth defense of his role in the Biogenesis PED scandal.

Except this shouldnt be about the Yankees settling scores, this is about pure entertainment. And with the clock running down on one of the most significant sporting careers this country has ever known, limiting the owner of 696 of the most controversial home runs in history to pinch-hit duty is the direct opposite of giving fans what they want.

Yes, they still want A-Rod, a player who cant hit like he used to, but can still light up talk radio switchboards for hours, rattle social media and fill countless pages with pixel after pixel. In an era where content is in demand like never before, A-Rod has been just that: walking, living, breathing, never-ending content. At the next Baseball Writers Association dinner, they should give A-Rod an award for enriching their lives with some of the most colorful, controversial and polarizing stories theyll ever scribble. He deserves it, because another A-Rod isnt going to walk into the sport anytime soon.

A-Rod is arguably, along with his ex-team-mate, Derek Jeter, the most recognizable name in modern baseball times, and not just to sports fans, to everybody. A-Rod has transcended the game in a way almost all ballplayers dont. In retirement, his place in mainstream gossip columns will continue, especially if he sticks with billionaire CEO and co-founder of 23andMe Anne Wojcicki, who was once married to Google co-founder Sergey Brin: know any other baseball players who have landed in Vanity Fair lately?

The NFL has their Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers and until last season, Peyton Manning, while the NBA has their LeBron James and a host of strong second-tier stars. After A-Rod, baseball has nobody on or near that level of national, crossover stardom.

Think about all the game-changing talent that is around the league today: Mike Trout, Clayton Kershaw, Jake Arrieta, Jose Altuve, Kris Bryant: the list of standouts goes on for a very long time, but theres no one that moves the needle like A-Rod, who is known by 50% of all Americans six years or older according to Q-Scores. Bryce Harper, who did make a late-night appearance with Jimmy Fallon in May, and is by far the least vanilla young ballplayer around, is the next highest at 20% awareness.

Alex Rodriguez (@AROD) October 30, 2015

Had a blast on my first time on @fallontonight with @jimmyfallon. pic.twitter.com/Gi3HjYu3rR

Every circuit wants to market its stars, who are the one of the main reasons the Big Four leagues are the behemoths they are today. But in todays sports world, MLB operates well despite the fact that their players have lower national awareness than those from other major North American sports leagues.

The league may wish their national ratings for all-star games and the post-season were rising rather than falling, but in MLB today, all of that matters much less overall. Their digital service, 33% of which was just picked up by Disney, is valued at a staggering $3.5bn, while local television and radio perform well. Their biggest issue is finding a way to maintain the status quo when it comes to the billions of dollars in local revenues earned via cable bundling, where many fans who dont watch an inning of baseball have been subsidizing huge rights deals for years and years.

So really, the model of pushing stars to drive national awareness across Major League Baseball has more or less been on life support for many years, meaning that the days of grandiose ad campaigns, as rare as theyve been, probably went out with Jeter.

As for Rodriguez, well, based on ticket sales for Fridays game, which is being broadcast nationally on Fox, hes certain to go out with a bang, whether he swings and misses or hits yet another A-bomb. As always, A-Rod will make an impact, simply by showing up.

Video of the week

ICYMI: Manny Machado: three at bats, three home runs in three innings, single handedly wrecking the White Sox on a Sunday afternoon. Thats one heck of a third of a game for the Orioles slugger who is breaking out from his breakout seasons. Is he your MVP? He certainly deserves to be in the American League conversation.

Manny from Mercury.

Quote of the Week

Take your stupid baseball team and get out.

Documents obtained by AZCentral.com say thats what Maricopa County supervisor Andy Kunasek said to Diamondbacks president Derrick Hall during an April tirade. The county, which includes the city of Phoenix, has denied the D-Backs $65m in ballpark renovations in an ongoing dispute that could threaten Arizonas long-term future at Chase Field. Kunasek also told Hall to go back to fucking West Virginia.

Whos closer to victory: Donald Trump or the Cubs?

Well, you would like to think that in a week that Le Grande Orange alluded to a possible assassination threat to a would-be presidential-elect, that the Trumpster would be farther away from victory than ever before. However, we also know that Trump bounces back easier than one of those 25 rubber balls your kid makes you buy outside the pizza shop: the Dems should limit any embarrassing high-fives.

The Cubs? Well, whatever was eating at them in July, when they were, somewhat amazingly, just 12-16, is done and dusted. Chicago raced out to a 8-0 mark this month, and their July to August ERA dropped from 4.47 to 1.29, while their OPS popped by over 60 points during the same span. That makes the Cubbies easy winners this week.

How did the kids piss off Goose Gossage this week?

The St Louis Cardinals, down 4-0 on Monday night to the Cincinnati Reds, on the verge of a three-game losing streak, got yet another gift from God. After rallying from a 4-0 ninth inning deficit, Yadier Molina stepped to the plate with the bases loaded and brought the winning home run by any means necessary.

Yadier does it again.

Theres only one thing worse than a bases-loaded walk to end a ballgame a bases loaded hit by pitch. Molina didnt exactly run away from Ross Ohlendorfs offering, and so Goose may be thinking that is one bush league way to win. Then again, hes probably thinking what we most of us think when the Cardinals somehow find a way to rise from the dead, and thats not printable here.

Nine thoughts in order

1) Prince Fielder is retiring from baseball after a second neck surgery forced the Rangers DH to call it quits. Aside from the sad news that one of the games most prodigious sluggers is retiring, it now confirms that then Tigers president and general manager Dave Dombrowski made one heck of a deal when he shipped Fielder to Texas in exchange for Ian Kinsler. By the time Fielders deal runs out, he will have been paid $138m for 34 home runs and a .760 OPS over 289 games. The Tigers will have paid $62m for Kinsler up until 2018, which includes a $5m buyout of the final year of his deal, but doesnt count the $30m they kicked over to Texas to help pay Fielders deal. So for $92m total, Detroit have received an .794 OPS, in over 400 games and counting, with the second baseman currently enjoying his best season since 2008. Theres some relief for Texas however – its reported that some $36m of the remaining deal will be covered by insurance. Fielder retires with the same number of home runs as his father Cecil: 319.

2) Toronto Blue Jays starting center fielder Kevin Pillar is out with for at least two weeks with sprained thumb ligaments, and considering the way he routinely bounces around the Rogers Centre outfield walls and dives into its turf, its a real wonder how he wasnt injured sooner. Luckily, GM Ross Atkins, who is quietly patting his own back this week, has an everyday center fielder in Melvin Upton to replace him. Upton is enjoying something of a comeback season, but has been slow to get going in T Dot now hell get his chance to play every day and make that deal look even better.

3) Tim Tebow is going to try and play baseball, allegedly, and as usual, the media are tripping over themselves to cover whatever he does. Personally, I thought he deserved more of a chance in the NFL after guiding the Broncos to the playoffs in 2011, something a whopping 10,000 Denver fans agree with after signing a petition for his return. Baseball? Well, I was tempted to write that its never, ever, EVER going to happen. Then I saw this tweet from Gary Sheffield:

Gary Sheffield (@garysheffield) August 9, 2016

I spent time w @TimTebow in the cages recently, he’s a NATURAL. I absolutley believe in his ability to play in the bigs. Tim has IT #focused

If you read Sheffields recent piece in the Players Tribune, youd have to think twice about Tebow he demands that you do! So, as per Sheffs orders, Im keeping an open mind, for now.

4) On Tuesday some 15,000 Red Sox fans learned theyd be denied a David Ortiz bobblehead doll, just hours before their game with the Yankees.

Boston Red Sox (@RedSox) August 8, 2016

We’re back home tomorrow night and we’re going big with the #BigPapi bobblehead! Get yours: https://t.co/uQuufP0I67 pic.twitter.com/Y5CzCEb5g8

I thought the bobbleheads were an inaccurate portrayal of David, said Sam Kennedy said. To go further, I thought the facial features were racially insensitive. Sox brass later announced that fans in attendance would actually be eligible to receive a more politically correct doll with a significantly thicker neck once a new figurine is made.

5) Heres an admission: my fascination with Ichiro was such that I used to write emails about him to friends before every spring. Mostly they rambled on about certain stats on how he missed just 33 games over his first 11 seasons in Seattle, or that he would have almost definitely been MLBs all-time hit king had his career started off in North America.

The first Japanese player to play the field, Ichiro is without question one of the most intriguing players in the long history of the game, and his 3,000th hit is just the latest statistical wonder surrounding his game. Ironically, after all these years of racking up hit after hit, my fondest Ichiro memory remains his throwing out of Terrance Long in 2001.

Incredible Ichiro.

6) Last month Pete Rose sued John Dowd for a statutory rape allegation the criminal defense attorney and former federal prosecutor made last year. During a 13 July 2015 radio appearance, Dowd, who lead the 1989 investigation into Roses gambling, referenced Roses ex-associate, Michael Bertolini, who allegedly told him that he ran young girls for him down in spring training, ages 12 to 14. Rose said there was no truth to the statements, which took place before the MLB commissioner, Rob Manfred, elected to not take him off the sports ineligible list in December. Now Dowd is trying to have the case dismissed, a move Roses attorney, Martin Garbus calls a stall tactic. Like anything involving Rose, this latest saga is unlikely to end anytime soon.

7) Yasiel Puigs reputation in Dodgerland continues to spiral. This time the recently demoted Puig was seen drinking beer in a party bus with a bunch of young Triple-A Oklahoma players, some of which were under the legal drinking age, having as much fun as possible inside a vehicle parked in Iowa. Unfortunately for Puig, who is just 25, these completely normal acts, which included singing, profanity and inside jokes, he posted videos of the partying on social media and so now its a full-blown controversy. Management said theyd handle it internally, while Puig merchandise was removed from Dodger Stadium stores. A word of advice to Yasiel: the nail that sticks up will be hammered down.

8) Terry Collins is under more pressure than ever after a shaky week featuring what were, more or less, indefensible decisions. On Saturday, down a run in the ninth and two outs, he didnt pinch-run for the plodding Jay Bruce, who was then thrown out at home to end the game.

Jay Bruce might be faster than anybody on our team for all I know, said Collins. I know he is a good base runner.

Bruce is new to the team, but in the age of information, there is no excuse for Collins: he has to know his players.

Making matters worse, Collins didnt challenge the call at the plate.

Mets fans have been critical of several of Collins moves this season, never mind the fact that he manages a would-be play-off team that hasnt won consecutive games since 7 July. However, few managers have had to deal with the injury issues hes faced over two seasons, and after taking New York to the World Series last season, hes probably safe for the rest of the season.

9) And finally, Clayton Kershaw is still finding ways to contribute in LA, despite being sidelined with back issues until at least 27 August. On Sunday, he led a dugout prank on Alex Wood.

LasMayores (@LasMayores) August 8, 2016

Clayton Kershaw jugandole una broma a Alex Wood. #LasMayores #MLB https://t.co/KK5eI5UkFc

A full video of Claytons stacking seeds on to the back of Wood, narrated to perfection by Vin Scully, can be found here. Rather incredibly, the Dodgers have gone 23-14 without their ace in the rotation, pulling even even with their NL West rivals, the San Francisco Giants, if only for a day. The Dodgers bullpen has played a large role in that success they have the lowest batting average against in innings seven through nine in baseball history according to SI a remarkable turnaround considering the fits LAs relief core caused their fan base over ensuing seasons.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/01/alex-rodriguez-is-major-league-baseballs-last-megastar-and-thats-ok/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/01/alex-rodriguez-is-major-league-baseballs-last-megastar-and-thats-ok/

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