#but then again i'm kinda scared i will be crying on every single song | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gyubby99 · 1 year

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I've decided that the speaker/narrator/subject of my songs would all turn into my ocs, so here is how I picture them

Sweet Lily - This song is too personal for me, so I'm just going to picture this character as someone who has a lot of insecurities, who's been used all their life, and started thinking that maybe they're the problem. Their only escape is social media where they meet the narrator of the song, speaking to this "Lily" person.

Personality wise, I think this person is extremely smart and talented but often doubt themself too much. They're like the lovliest people you've ever met in your entire life. In real life they're a very soft spoken person who always seems to be smiling, atleast that's how I pictured the character and the overall song vibe lol

I think she's gonna be a girl named 'Lily'? I'm not sure.

Applause - Very angsty teenager. The type of person who got their very first heartbreak and after that is almost unrecognizable. Like, heartbreak new me lol.

Hopeless romantic and a very emotional sensitive being, that's what they are. And they see nothing wrong with that! A bit petty and extremely sassy. But they have a big heart that's in the right place. Only when you fuck them up would she be a total biatch to u lol

Yep. This character would be a 'she'. Her name would beeeeeee Alex.

Hope - Very similar to Liana's character Alistar. Or maybe it's actually him.

He somewhat came to mind, but there are tons of people I know can possibly be the inspo for this, like the people I've seen on the internet thinking things are over for them just for them to find someone who's right for them (not necessarily romantic) and it somehow gives them hope.

But Alistar.. most of the parts especially the last one, he influenced a little.

But on a separate character, I think I'll name him.. Edward. The other person he's talking about? I'm choosing a "Charlotte"

Dove - Similar to Taylor Swift's "James" character in the folklore love triangle. And shall I say no more.

I'll never love again - OOOFFFFF She's unstable. Mentally not well. Send help.

I wrote this song because I wanted to give "the other woman" a sad pov. Because typically most of the songs are just like 'yeah well im secretly banging your man haha im having so much fun in my life' but I was like "wait but when you're the other woman, you're just a side piece and never often viewed as a human being.. isn't that sad? That the person you'd devote your whole life to only comes to you when they're bored? Isn't that a bit.. not so fun?"

So I wrote it. Im not defending this character's actions, I just wanted to have a little realistic take on what I think the perspective of some "other women" are.

Back to the character, Oh, she came from a household that does nothing but berate her for every single thing that she does. And so this.. person comes in and gives her the validation that she lacked all throughout her life and she falls inlove.. whilst knowing that that person might have tied the knot with someone else?

And she knows she's being used but she doesn't care as long as it's her. And she wanted things to be different, she wanted to end things but she cant. She's stuck. She's trapped. And if ever she ends things with this person she'll.. never love again. It's scary. She's scared that she'll never get that attention again and thinks that they're the only person in the world who understands her. Out of 8 billion people for crying out loud.

Heart of stone from SIX kinda came to mind in this, so.. yeah.

I think her name would be Melody. I have mixed feelings about her as a person which probably makes it better. I love her cause she's my child but like.. she's a bit problematic. She's my problem child.

The only one - if Dear John had a much more younger version, it would be this. But it's about.. SA. Trigger warning for this.

In my head I'm picturing this person as a fourteen year old girl who got taken advantage of by her second father figure after her father died. They had a lot of time together but then that night happened, and she tried to keep it secret out of fear, and she hates herself for not being strong enough to break the lies sooner.

I think she's kind of similar to Lily, and she's a very sweet, soft spoken, wouldn't hurt a fly but would kick a man in the balls if she had to..

The event caused her several nightmares and her only escape just like Lily, is social media. I have a theory that maybe the narrator of this song is also the narrator of "sweet Lily" trying to give advice she doesn't follow herself.

It would be really fun if they sort of found each other and had a more meaningful connection together. They would work out.

Although this person is not a saint either, she rebels and lies a little bit and she jusy says that it's a part of being a teenager. She sleeps late at night, she neglects school, and she's more likely to have adhd as well. She's just like those typical teenagers growing up. She never leaves the room

And her situation got worse when she started getting "late night room visits" from uncle. She stays past one in the morning, she never leaves the room so she couldn't see his face, procrastinates because of the stress he's putting on her, spends more time on her phone for a distraction.

Her name is Rosella. She's a handful teen but she never deserved any of that.

Everything you do - I don't know if you guys have ever watched korean novelas but this guy has that type of vibe. He watches the love of his life being happy with someone else and he's just letting them be happy, doing everything for them to stay that way, having this sort of "best boy standard" personality, he has it all.

He's sweet, and timid. Ofcourse he has a personality outside of being inlove with someone. He mostly cares about academics more than his crush if I'm being honest. He excels in history, and has a lot of traits that can sometimes attract a person. He's very likeable. The type of guy to just smile and say "sorry" at everything instead of being a cocky jock that you bump into down the school hallways.

Personally I would like to be his friend. He's extremely protective of his loved ones and would never pass up and opportunity to sacrifice things for them, even his own happiness. He tries his best to listen and understand you when you communicate with your feelings, and he's not that much of a talker himself and has troubles with expressing how he feels, so he gets you.

He has a lot of habits like oversharing when he's comfortable with someone, and physical ones like tapping his pen onto the table if he doesn't understand something from a schoolwork. He has trouble asking for help but won't hesitate to guide you if you ever need one. He's very introverted, and an optimist.

He has more to it than the song, which is about him having an unrequited crush on someone. Though I won't explicitly tell the gender of his crush because I'm keeping it neutral for ur imagination.

Along my journey of writing this I've decided to name him Zachary.

Never loved you - My girl. She's my favorite child. Jk I don't have a favorite child. But this is my favorite song that I've written, and she was my first child.

A sassy, savy educated young princess who is willing to fight for what is right, what she thinks is right and what she knows is right. She's probably in her early 20's like 21 years old.

She's fierce, sweet, can be cold-blooded when she needs to, feisty, strong, independent woman who can lead on her country without a king. But unfortunately her story ended on a sad note.

She meets the enemy, he falls inlove, she falls harder.

She is absolutely FERAL for this man. I think whenever she sees him sparring with her with no shirt on she refrains because HES THE ENEMY.

She was for sure a feminist, and is very sassy. She'd always sworn to put love aside because she has important matters to deal with like her kingdom, hence why it always says "I swore that I never loved you" at the end of the two choruses.

She saw the enemy as cold and heartless, referencing the lyric "you never seemed to care"

But then it all changed when they kissed that one night, and now they're doing the freckle frackle.

And so she grows anxious because a war has been declared between both kingdoms, and how she doesn't have the heart to kill the love of her life. And she wished she could've been killed by him instead.

Her personality's a little bit more like Liana's characters Loreley or Alruna, and Anna from the Frozen franchise. But she's more of a chill feisty pants and not the off the bat shits feral feisty pants.

A little background for my girl, she's an only child, because her father had died when she was a year old and her mother never remarried. She was beloved by her mother, and she could try to reason her, but she had immense hatred for the other kingdom and she was scared of disappointing her.

She's a fairly good swordswoman, but she finds her strength in words, she's greater expressing herself with writing in her journal, and have fought several debates regarding the laws, politics and histories in her kingdom.

She hates arranged marriages, but is most likely expecting it when she comes of age in her coronation and wedding day. But she has a few boundaries that her future king should respect in order to earn her respect.

I know there's an even deeper reason she fell harder for Damian, but she keeps that secret to herself. Even she doesn't wanna tell me. Maybe she will?

Her name is Marianne. (Pronounced, "Mar-yan")

Snowflake - *sigh* my bisexual child. She fell inlove with a girl she met over the internet and she was her first love and she's being all cheesy about it making "you're the moon to my sun" pick up lines and just.. she's just a little goofy when it comes to romance and her whole world overall just revolved around her for a bit before she reminded herself that she actually had a life outside her phone screen?

If she and this person actually met irl they would be the cheesiest of lovers. And she's a bimbo I'm confirming it. She's the "everything is now broken and on fire" kind of dumb. The song is actually just a draft and I dont know if I'm continuing it, so there's nothing much to know about her at the moment. When I write something in full or like, I finish halfway through I get a glimpse of what character this person I'm writing as the narrator actually is, and this one's just the "vibe" the beat and the lyrics are giving me.

Literally. It's just a short little draft because I too felt a little cheesy. Lol.

Her name's Emilyn. She prefers to be called "Emmy" cause she doesn't like her name very much. It's too old-timey for her liking, and her mom picked it out. (I do think that this narrator is not on very good terms with her mother)

Talk about it - Oh this is the Damian guy. Marianne's eherm.. lover.

Oh, what do I say about him? His pov is pretty much just like the previous one and I'm gonna put in everything I know for now. Maybe it'll influence me to expand on him by continuing the song idk

He fell inlove first, because she was a badass and he probably wants to be topped as she did. His father and Marianne's mother declared war as the final command before letting their children take the throne.

I'm going to spoil the ending based on Marianne's pov, he dies. But that isn't even the saddest part yet. Marianne gets to be crowned queen.

"Well there's nothing wrong about that!" WRONG.

Marianne gets arranged to marry some random dude two weeks after the war and her lover's death. Nice! But I'll still make my own fanon world of them getting married anyways so canon doesn't really matter. Just be delusional.

And he recognizes her confusion, her anxiety, but he wanted to find a proper way to talk about that. He loves her a lot and it also stressed him to see her stressing about the war declared, and fun fact he used the last bit of strength he had to reach for Marianne, but she was on the other side of the war and couldn't respond.

He tried calling off the war with his father, and tried to reason with him by saying "They're too weak to fight" just so he can convince his father, so he never meant it.

His kingdom had the upper hand at the war, but this man was ready to give his kingdom's legacy up and his whole life for her, so he just waited for something to strike him and then that was it.

And she couldn't break, or else everyone will know she was a traitor sleeping with the enemy.

A little background for him though, he grew up without a mother, lost her to the plague, and his father was medicore dad. Not a bad one but not a good one either. Like he'd let him play outside but let the maids take responsibility when he gets hurt. He never abused him but he never seemed cared for him either, so 50/50.

He was an only child. He was a lone wolf who spent all his life, even his youth, training non-stop. Which means he has like huge muscles.

His dad couldn't care less about what he wants so he's a bit free-spirited like he had free reign over anything in his kingdom.

I think he'd be an ambivert. I've never seen an ambivert character before and I'm getting that vibe from him. He's just a pure soul having fun, honestly. I love that for him.

Monster in a cage - I'll just explicitly tell you that I wrote it about Elsa from Frozen so I don't think I'll ever make a character for that unless I wanted a Frozen rip-off lmfao

But yeah the lyrics are pretty self explanatory if you've seen me post it like, one time. Come on, locked doors and self blaming? If the reference was a snake it would've bitten you already.

Home - probably the youngest of my characters. I love her so much my poor baby child :(

She's probably 9 or 10. She's a daddy's girl who lost her father but she still remembers the promises he made like, childish stuff.. like going to the north pole to build snowmen and snow angels and make a house where they make hot cocoa for the rest of their lives.. just child dreams.

And then he just... he was just gone, and she watched his body slowly succumb to the cruel hands of death. Like she watched it and she didn't even have time to process, because the people screaming for him to wake up were distracting her and she just wants to mute them all and cry herself.

She was traumatized, and now whenever she goes to a hospital she just feels sick. She couldn't get over it, how his body had its last seizure before it completely shuts down. The only comfort she had was that he was in heaven and he's not sick anymore. That's it. That was all.

Im naming this baby girl Jane. I love her so much :(((

*holds gently* if anything happened to her I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

I think that would be all? I need to reread some of them that I forgot before I make another one ig?

#my ocs #ocs #my characters #my original characters

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pinkiealexie · 2 years

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𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞, 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 ♡ 𝘓𝘪𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘦

REQUESTED: Anonymous

REQUEST:

“How about a Yandere Licorice Cookie with a GN Darling. Here's a scenario I came up with; Darling was scared asf towards Licorice since he works with Dark Enchantress Cookie and practices the dark arts but he meant no harm towards them. Licorice on the other hand was very desperate to make his so-called lover to be comfortable in their new home, to be less scared towards him and eventually, to fall in love towards him naturally.

Kinda inspired from the "Can you at least pretend to love me back?" Prompt. Thanks a bunch!!

-🌹 anon”

TW: Mentions of kidnapping, yandere topics, yandere themes, yandere Licorice, mentions of chains, yelling, shouting, angst, lots of crying, one-sided loven, a bit rushed (?)

[Woah I haven't written yandere for a hot while so I apologize if it’s rusty!]

How long has it been since you had been taken away from your once normal life?

You didn’t know, you didn’t want to know. Yet the thought of it still creeped into your mind. Has it been a few days? A couple of weeks? Possibly months??? It didn’t make it any better that out of all cookies who could’ve kidnapped you it had to be one whose associated with the Darkness, the one you feared most out of the group, it had to be the dark sorcerer Licorice Cookie.

From day one he had tried to assure you that he had no ill intentions with you but rather for you to supposedly be “protected” from the outside of the Dark Palace but it never convinced you when in fact you saw him as the threat.

…

“Oh (y/n) dearie!” There it was, that sing song like voice you heard every single day. Licorice barged into the shared bedroom with a wrapped black and purple gift in hand, smiling so wide that it was unsettling.

He hadn’t even realize your distressed state when he sat down on the king sized bed next to you as you scooted away from him, not like you could go any further due to the chain locked around your foot. He proudly presented his gift for you,

“(y/n) my love! I was out on a mission when I spotted this present for you my love! And I’m sure you’ll love it! Its- I-..are you crying.?” You hadn’t even felt the hit streams of tears flowing down your face until he had to point it out to you. You couldn’t see his face as you weren’t making eye contact with him, but you could practically feel the excitement leave his expression as it was replaced with a worried expression.

Using his other hand, he gently lifted up your angelic face so he could get a full view of as he began to desperately wipe away your blistering tears, his long sleeves soaking them up, “H-hey what’s wrong??? Did something happen while I was gone??”

“Licorice-”

“Please tell me what happened my love-“

“Licorice I-“

“OH did someone hurt you?! If they did I swear I’ll-“

“LICORICE COOKIE!”

Licorice Cookie visibly flinched at your sudden burst, finally giving you his full attention before you began to speak in a hoarse voice, “You’re the reason why I’m crying! You’re the reason why I fear the cookies of darkness and-“

It's kind of hard to speak when about to sob once again, “You’re the one that hurt me!! I told you that so many times and yet you refuse to listen to me! I'm scared- and, my life was great until you had to come along and ruin it- You’re nothing but a sad old cookie that kidnapped an innocent cookie for the sake of your own selfish, greedy needs!”

Ouch, that mentally slapped Licorice Cookie in the face, like really hard. All he could do was stay silent letting as if he was letting your degrading words sink in, had you finally gotten through his thick sugar skull? You assumed that you were correct when he stood up with the present in hand, lowering his head in shame, and walking out of the room, and then as always, locking the door.

About time.

You only sighed in relief.

…

It had been days since you had last seen Licorice Cookie.

Usually you’d be grateful whenever this happens but this time it felt different. He’d always come back at least an hour after but this time that wasn’t the case, perhaps you had been a bit too harsh on him this time ? No, no, you had finally stood your ground with him, but then again he brought you company and- Wait, did you actually that monster??

The thought of feeling any type of remorse for that thing made you feel sick to the stomach.

Just before you could think any further a knock was at the door. Could it be another servant of Licorice Cookie delivering your meal? The werehound Brute? Bat-Cat? One of the little coiled licorice servants? No.

It was him.

He only stood there above the bed you laid on, staring at you with wobbly eyes.

This uncomfortable eye to eye thing continued for a few more minutes that felt like more like an eternity.

Licorice Cookie then suddenly collapsed next to you, sobbing into your chest, clinging onto you, he was actually crying?

"I-I'm so sorry (y/n)! I'm so sorry,..It was never my intention to scare you I-I just really thought that doing this would make you fall for me but I was wrong!" Sniffles and hiccups kept cutting him off, "..I just want you to be madly in love with me as I am with you! That's all I beg of you! That's all I want from you...I don't care if you're faking it or not, the least you could is at least pretend to love me back..."

You had never seen Licorice in such state so you weren't sure of what to do in his distressed state. With his tears staining your shirt you could only feel nothing but pity for him, and yes , you knew that you shouldn't.

Though his apology seemed pretty real and sincere to you so you let out a sigh, with the tiniest pieces of sympathy you had left in you, you decided to try and comfort him.

Placing your hand on his back, you began to rub it in a comforting manner. Licorice was stunned at your action, you- you're finally showing him affection, even if it wasn't a lot it was still something! He was smiling so bright as he if wasn't just crying a few moments ago and he embraced you in a large hug.

"You're..you're comforting me!! Oh I knew you'd come around soon enough my dear.."

Your mind began to zone out so you hardly heard what Licorice was saying as a static took over you mind. Was this really how you were going to live? I mean, you have nothing to worry about because as he said he didn't want to hurt you in any way!

Maybe it wasn't be that bad here as you thought it was, but that doesn't mean that the other half of you wasn't still scared of him.

#cookie run kingdom x reader #cookierun x reader #cookie run x reader #crk x reader #oneshot #licorice cookie x reader #licorice x reader #yandere cookie run #yandere #angst

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magicpumpkin3 · 3 years

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Idia Shroud x (Fem?)reader

Warning: NSFW; light!dom/sub; maid outfit; pegging(kinda); Idia is kinda OCC'ish

Note: thank yous go to → @intynidad Check out their blog! It's... interesting ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Note 2: sorry for shitty writing, author is new to smuts :). (My second ever smut tbh)

"…P-please… stop!" Idia desperately trys to hide his legs as much as possible with that stupid skirt. He has nothing against maid outfits. It's more opposite way actually, he loves them! It's not that he's wearing one right now, no. It's you, staring at him. And all of this because of a stupid bet! He could've sworn, you were horrible at this game but no. You just had to be lucky today and win. And loser, who's punishment was to wear a maid outfit, is him. Blushing like a mad man, sitting in a corner of your room, Idia trys to hide from your eyes.

Giggling like a five-year old kid that just got their own toy as present for Christmas, you slowly walk towards your boyfriend. "Hey, you look wonderful, no need to hide!" His hair bursting in bright red flames even more, Idia lets out a groan of frustration. "It's n-not, I'm…You…m-me…" And there he goes mumbling again. You love him to the depths of your heart but sometimes he needs to be a bit louder and clearer with his words and thoughts. Though, you can't blame him. We've all been there, still there at some point actually.

Sitting on a floor, turned away from you, keeping his knees close to his chin, Idia trys so hard not burn your entire room. "Idia~…" Hearing your voice sing-song his name, makes him want to hide himself even more. Your gentle touch on his arms makes him jump in surprise. "You okay?" Asking him gently, making him want to tackle you and hold you for ever. How can you be so brave? He slowly, a bit shackly, turns his head towards you. Red as Riddles hair, he tries to to mutter something out.

He's so cute like that. Not being able to hold yourself together, you bend forward and give his lips a small peck. Small whimper escapes him. "It's n-not fa-funny…" Chuckling to yourself, you lightly shacke your head. "Yes, it's not funny how gorgeous you look." Oh boi! You can practically see steam leaving his ears. Gently placing one hand on his thigh, that are covered by black stockings and another on his shoulder.

Shuddering because of the gesture, Idia sheepishly looks you in the eyes. Staring at you, like you're one of the great seven. He suddenly feels your lips on his. What starts as a small tender kiss, turns into a heated make out session really fast. Your tongues dancing together, pushing one another. Moaning into your mouth, he closes his eyes in a bless.

Pulling away, breathing heavy, you look at him. Such a mess, flushed all over, breath wrecked, he trys to avoid your gaze. Though, his body speaks for him better then his words. Idia now is fully turned to you and is sitting on his knees before you. Looking so delicious, it's almost painful. Scooting closer to him, you now place your hands on his cheeks, making him look at you. Staring into one another's soul, you kiss each other again.

He can feel your hands slowly moving down his body. They gently, like afraid of scaring him, caress his sides, pushing on his sweet spots, that make him hitch his breath. Almost bitting his own tongue, and yours too off, when he feels you go beneath the skirt. Breaking apart, breathing in and out rapidly, Idia looks at you. Thin line of saliva still connecting your mouths.

You slowly, bend forward and start leaving trail of kisses and small bites down his neck. Idia sinks his teath down his bottom lip to keep himself quiet. Soft cry leaving his throat. You move one of your hands up his thigh. Reaching beginning of his underwear, you teas it a little, pulling and tapping it. You can particularly fell his cock twitch.

"P-plea-se! I…Ah! Pl-please…Hn...I c-can't!…" Face flushed, tongue rolled out a bit, your boyfriend trys to say something. "Yes, dear? You want something me to do?" You ask Idia in teasing manner. Your hand reaches his erection. Slowly stroking it through his underwear, you keep smiling at him with that grin of yours. "Use your words dear."

"P-please!!! More ah!" Right when he finished his thought out loud, you put a pressure on a head of his cock. Bucking his hips towards your hands he whimpers and crys in pleasure. Pushing Idia down, you pin his hands over his head. Kissing him heatedly again, you push your knee between his legs. Moaning into your mouth, he arches his back towards your other hand that is playing with his nipple under that stupid outfit.

Pulling away, you rise a bit to look at him. Flushed all over the place, hot rigged breath, eyes slightly open, his neck and collarbones with few of your marks. Maid outfit pushed down his shoulders to expose more skin that was begging for more marks. Realising his hands, you carefully help him to get those short sleeves out of the way. Front falling down a bit reviling his erect nipples, making you bend down and press a few teasing kisses to them.

"Idia, do you trust me?" You asked in husky hushed voice. He looked you on the eyes with a second doubt nodding. Smiling like Cheshire cat, you press a fee kisses to his face and get off him. You can see the confusion on your boyfriends face. "Be a good boy and wait for me here." Coying it sweetly, you quickly leave the room.

Laying down, all alone, Idia's hands without him noticing it, reach to his bulge. Slowly, with shaky hands he removed his underwear from his also shaking legs and slowly started touching himself. Moving fingers up and down his shaft, he exhales with a small whimper. Your loving hands feel so much better then his. Squeezing around himself he began to pump his hand up and down. Precum leaking out already. He closes his eyes and groans with pleasure.

What a beautiful sight you walked on. Him, moaning your name out like this, legs bend a bit, like waiting for someone to rail him in the ass, jearking himself off in that cute outfit. It makes you get even more turned on. Slowly walking closer to him, you sit down near your boyfriend. Apparently he got too consumed by the filing and didn't see you. Not to worry. You know just the way to get his attention. Reaching your hand, you slowly add pressure on his hand over his cock. Choking out a gasp, Idia opens his eyes and looks at you.

"I'm…I-" Before he could say anything, you shut him up with a kiss. He melts immediately. Slowly, you move one of your hands towards his asshole. He crys out in a kiss of the feeling of your fingers massaging hole. Breaking a kiss, you bend even further, whispering into his ear. "Sorry for, keeping you waiting you". You put mote pressure, more moans follow. "I thought we could try something…" Smiling like you're a devil in a flesh, you push your index finger in.

Silent scream left his lips. A few trails of droll roll from his mouth. Idia clings to you shoulders and crys out into your ear. You slowly start to move your finger inside, slowly trying to add another. "It-it! Insi-side!!! Agh!" After having all four fingers inside of him, rhythmetically fucking him, he's already almost sits on your hand. One of his stockings has rolled down, and his whole outfit was steady only on his abbs. Suddenly you stop and pull your hand away. Low whines and crys of disapproval are heard from your Idia. "So the thing I wanted to try…" you turn your back to him and grab something. "Well…what do you think?" Turning back to him, you revel a strap-on. Not too big, not too small. Medium. Glaring at it for a few moments, he realizes what's it for. He almost immediately got on his back and raised one if his legs. Turning his head away from you, he trys to hide behind one of his own arms. Chuckling to yourself, you smile down on him, putting your toy in place, getting the lubricant oil and getting ready. Whole time your boyfriends eyes were glued to you. Getting on top of him and placing one of his legs over your shoulder, you bend down and hover over him once again. "Say what you want~" you say in a husky voice. Idia desperately trys to push himself on your toy but you keep moving away. "Neh-neh! That won't do, dear. You have to tell me what you want." Even though Idia shuted his eyes long time ago he could feel you smile at him.

"I-I want…"

"yes?"

"I w-want you to…to," here he goes again, trying to push himself on a strap-on.

"Shh~. Tell me I'll do it" moving away from him, you kiss pulls on his neck.

"I want y-you! To!…"

"Yes?"

"I want you to fuck me!" Almost yelling it out, Idia opened his eyes and looked at you. Holding on to you for dear life.

"Very well then"

A loud cry echoes through your room. Pushing in slowly, you sigh, as if you could feel how it feels to be inside of your boyfriend. Slowly bumping in and out, you thrusts deeper with each push. Head rolled flames a bit purple, not quite red, not quite blue, droll dripping from his mouth, tongue also out, Idia moans and crys like madman. You're truly grateful that your dorm is as far away from any 'crowded places'.

Kissing and sucking on one of his nipples, you slowly start to use your free hand to jerk him off a bit. Almost immediately his head shots up and he's pressed flushed to you. You start to move more aggressively and harsh, making him particularly scream your name and how much 'he fucking loves it'. You can feel his cock twitch when you hit one specific spot inside of him, making him scream from pleasure, literally. You start to hit it over and over again, making him see stars. Burning fire inside of him, grows bigger and bigger every single time, you touch one of his sensitive parts. He's so close he can feel it.

Suddenly he stops you. Looking down at him worriedly you ask "Everything okay?" Before you could mentally prepare yourself Idia half says, half huffs "C-can you…ri-ride me but k-keep t-the stra-pon i-inside?…" You at loose of your words. "I mean...we can try?" Slowly detention strapon from yourself, you get on top of him and line his dick to your entrance. Slowly pushing yourself onto his shaft, you sigh and shiver from the feeling. You can feel Idia buck his hips tawords you.

Slowly you, you start to ride him. Skirt up, revealing his crotch area, where your body's connect, hands holding into a carpet to keep himself from hurting himself or you, he looks at your eyes with his golden once. You smile daring at him, you start to move even harsher. Moaning in unison, bumping and crying out in pleasure.

A great idea comes to your head. Leaning back a bit, with one hand, you try to find with another the tip of a strap-on. Finally finding it, you grab it and push in your boyfriends hole a bit. Hearing a raw crys of pleasure, as you ride him.

Hot bubbling feeling inside of you getting stronger as you get more aggressive. Pushing in harsher, ridding more rigged you make eye contact with him again. And it's your both breaking point. You can feel him twitching inside of you and realising hot semen into you, he almost screams but bite's his lower lip just in time to just moan really loud. He stills and now it's your time to cum. Hot knots inside are vanishing. Your vision is unclear, white noise filing your ears.

After what felt like an hours, you collapsed on top of him. Giggling to yourself, you make a mental note to make more bets like that

#ah yes #smut #twst smut #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #idia shroud #twst idia #twisted wonderland Idia #twst x you #twst fanfic #twst fic #twisted wonderland fic #author is bad at smuts #( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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meyeselph · 3 years

Text

Gwenpool: Desperate Misanthrope's Confused Angst

Showtime

Ms. Pool woke up in a familiar room. Not in Krakoa - there are no mutants around. This isn’t a story about that. Look, honestly, without an actual Gwenpool series and the constant breaks in her comics appearance I can’t even begin to give a fuck. I cancelled my marvel universe subbie. I might get back to my stories but single issues are iffy. I read fast and don’t pore over the artwork. So I get 10 minutes of entertainment for….FIVE DOLLARS? When did this happen? Jeezus.

Who even reads comics anymore?

Anyway, long story short, Gwen got out of bed and recognized the room as her old one from the “old times.” The dark times. The ‘not running around in pink and white outfits and shooting people’ times. She panicked (Been there. It is what it is though). The only way out of trauma is through.

She dressed in old clothes, immediately hit by old smells, she couldn’t help but cry. Was it all a dream? Have I gone insane (again)? All the usual self doubts cropped up. I mean, really, if you think this kind of thing didn’t pass through her mind regularly why don’t you transport yourself to a comic book universe?

Oh, you can’t?

Oh. It isn’t actually possible for you and I’m stupid for suggesting it. So, yeah. If it actually happened and you kept that attitude then the logical assumption for a normie is a mental breakdown. Trick for Gwen, though, is it's probably always been both real and her being nuts.

So she goes downstairs to the kitchen to figure out why this is happening and Evil Gwen is having cereal. Let's say cocoa puffs. I’ve been thinking about those recently. You ever remember cereal as something worth cherishing. Not as just bullshit that TV convinced you to want? God damn, now I want Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp wasn’t even ever that good. Why do I want Cookie Crisp?

So also sitting around the table were the faceless versions of her father, mother, and her brother. Just chilling. No BD. Seen Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind?

Yes, I know that references aren’t jokes - fuck you, I’m painting a picture and I CAN’T PAINT, THAT’S WHY THIS ISN’T A COMIC. Fucks sake. Anyway. So, Gwen is so creeped out that she just sits her butt down by Evil Gwen as if she’s the comforting presence here.

Her name’s too long. Let’s call Evil Gwen uh…….Gren. You know, like Grendel from Beowulf. I haven’t actually read Beowulf and this is all a little confusing but I'm solving problems here. Writing this is harder for me than you would think so it’s best to keep things flowing off the cuff. That’s the Gwenpool™ style anyway, isn’t it? Are you laughing yet? IMPROV. “YES AND” MY SHIT, READER!

“So, you ever really look into the retconned past thing, hun?” Gren said, moving her tongue around her food. Being gross as an attempt to be properly evil. She swallowed before continuing. “This is all I could really put together on short notice but i’m pretty sure what the future people created, all that stuff to try and trick you, it was all bullshit.”

“What do you mean? Are you trying to convince me to go all psycho like you again?” Gwen asked, exasperated, realizing she was now back in the whole ‘fuck with Gwen to decide her fate’ song and dance routine from the end of her first arc.

“Nah, not really.” Gren said. A hammer appeared in her hands out of nowhere and Gren swung it into their fake father’s head, snapping his neck..

“DAD!” Gwen instinctively cried as she saw her father’s body slump to the floor. Gren slapped Gwen’s face. “That’s it,” Gren said, “this is what the trick was.This is a poorly created character in a fictional story. Meant to manipulate you into attaching your concept of “father” to it. Even his finished version in the original comics run wasn’t THAT well drawn. Your dad read like a boomer’s idea of a responsible parent. You were going through a mental crisis and struggling to find purpose in life and his genius idea was get a shitty low paying job and suck it up?”

Gren turned to their brother, pushed his face to the table and smashed the back of his skull. . “Brother dearest, too. Going right along with their victim blaming. He gaslighted you as if what you were going through was just you being ‘irresponsible.’ Bitch, people working a minimum wage job aren’t somehow not impoverished and miserable because they get some of that ‘honest work’ that folks keep badgering on about. Minimum wage work is occupied by many physically and mentally disabled people held hostage; they’re people society only pretends to care about. Then they turn it all into you acting like some world ending threat. No questions about what drove you to the edge in the first place. You are just ‘unstable,’ so you’re just a problem to be solved. They say, ‘Let’s all solve this girl being upset and on edge by ruining her concept of self, reality, and memory.’ Brilliant!”

Gwen barely processed this in horror. Gren then slit the poor facsimile of their mother’s throat while continuing to rant, “You see people die all the time, Gwen. Half of the time you are doing the killing. You do it because it’s in a story. In a story the NPCs don’t matter and, after all, your original schtick in the story was to be kill-crazy. The non-marketable characters can be replaced or retconned at the stroke of the artist’s pen.” Gren leans forward as she pulls a Gwenpool mask over Gwens face. “Then the writers convince you that you have some middle class milk toast family and you take abuse and subsume your emotional needs because the problem MUST be you. You aren’t ‘normal’ so you have to be fixed.”

Gwen wiped her eyes over the mask and sighed. A bit of fire filled her gut as she stared at Gren. “So fucking what? You want me to go on a killing spree and be a big time villain to get myself a nice, shiny permanent big bad status? That’s how I stay around right? Just build my legacy on bodies?”

Gren scoffed “You already lost that fight, girly. Where do you think we are? Because this ain’t Marvel Comics.”

Confused, Gwen blinked and tried reaching for the page margins, finding nothing. Wait….why was everything on this page so ill defined and undetailed? Wait? Why was the story in kinda wobbly third person past tense?

Gwen sighed “Oh. I’m in a fanfic. I guess the publishing fight is for another day eh?”

“My advice, personally,” Gren stated, “is that you consider the lobster.”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Gren pulled aside the kitchen curtains revealing the face of a giant lobster, its claws tapping on the glass. The lobster muttering gutterally about personal responsibility.

“Because there’s a couple thousand giant lobsters outside that would like to claw you until you read their book.”

Scared of Girls

On the rooftop, Gren shoved a high powered rifle into Gwen’s hands while she handled the close range threats. So, this conversation they’re about to have is important. Sniping puts Gwen into a sort of zen space, so that’s a better task to keep her focused, after all.

“So, what? You wanted me to internalize that my “origin story” is bullshit? Okay, what does that accomplish, then?” Gwen asked in a bit of a deadpan. She was so tired today. Not really feeling her happy go lucky energy. More like a “happy go fucky” energy. It was hard to always be on a knife's edge. Still the rifle’s kick into her shoulder was satisfying as she blew through two of the creepy looking lobsters at once. “Also, why the lobsters?”

Gren considered this. “Okay, last question first, I had to experiment a lot and do a lot of research to construct this place for your learning and healing in fanfic form....These buddies are a failed experiment of mine that I repurposed because the fic needed more action. Isn’t that right, giant enemy crap?” As she peppers the nearest goon with a hail of shotgun pellets the entire throng of them burst out, sharply muttering about divine symbols.

“As for what I'm trying to teach you, it’s that you aren’t reaching your potential.” Gren grumpily huffed.

“Duh,” Gwen reloads, “I mean you just killed a mannequin version of the voice in my head that says that to me every day.” one of those crustaceans talks about feminine symbolism while she decides on her next target.

“Not like fake daddy’s ‘Be a responsible member of society by paying your taxes’ type of potential. I mean your creative and emotional potential.” Gren flipped off the slavering throng of monsters, noticing they were starting to keep their distance from the roof.

“I never did finish that fanfic idea I had.” Gwen mused.

“God, don’t mention that,” Gren thrusts a finger at Gwenpool. “Not that I don’t respect fanfic, but when comic book writers make you and Kamala squee about fanfiction to try and relate to “the kids” it comes across as so condescending.”

“Really? I mean…..I'm sure it’s meant as support for the concept?”

“Most fucking superhero comics are just legalized fanfiction! The people who created the characters are either long gone or working on someone else’s characters! They just think they are so much better because they got fucking paid. They can’t imagine themselves as on the same playing field as fanficcers even though most of them have the same level of connection to the roots of the work as anyone else.” Gren groused loudly as she seemed to pull Reed Richards out of nowhere.

Confused, Reed looked around until his eyes met Gwen’s.“Oh great, you again.” Reed groaned as he turned to survey the piles of lobster gibs while Gwen cheered the lobster forces’ retreat with a resounding “EDF, EDF!”. The scattered creatures skittered amongst the bland scenery. It looked like a suburban neighborhood but someone forgot to color in the sky….or write that the sky had color. A castle hung out in the distance breaking up the generic normalcy and lay cloaked in shadow despite being surrounded by an endless white void.

“And…..black….you?” Reed pointed to Gren, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I have an evil future self….well I stopped that future so it’s an….evil...alternate timeline self?” Gwen said with a nervous chuckle, abandoning the kill quest for the minute and rested her rifle on the roof.

“Ah. Yeah I’ve been down that road. It’s a rather common occurrence. Multiverse being what it is.” Reed laughed heartily while putting his hands on his hips.

“I’m not sure I’m evil, honestly,” Gren interjected. “I think I’m just really fucking grumpy and I’m slightly more gung-ho on the homicide. Considering Gwen’s already one of the more kill crazy characters on the roster it’s not that much of a distinction.” Gren flipped her cape. “My main distinction is I don’t like that meme from The Incredibles! You can just make it so the cape detaches automatically when it’s pulled hard enough!”

“You could still have it tangled up around your face.” Reed pointed out in his standard know-it-all fashion.

“Don’t make me go into fuck wife mode, stretch.” Gren spat. “Okay, anyway, so I brought him here to illustrate a point. Reed. Explain particle physics to me as a laymen.”

“Huh...i’m not sure why but okay. Particle physics (also known as high energy physics) is a branch of physics that studies the nature of the particles that constitute matter and radiation. Although the word particle can refer to various types of very small objects (e.g. protons, gas particles, or even household dust), particle physics usually investigates the irreducibly smallest detectable particles and the fundamental interactions necessary to explain their behaviour. In current understanding, these elementary particles are excitations of the quantum fields that also govern their interactions. The currently dominant theory explaining these fundamental particles and fields, along with their dynamics, is called the Standard Model. Thus, modern particle physics generally investigates the Standard Model and its various possible extensions, e.g. to the newest "known" particle, the Higgs boson, or even to the oldest known force field, gravity.” Reed rattled this off rather mechanically.

Gren then took out her phone and showed Gwen the Wikipedia article on “Particle Physics,” which is naturally the same words that Reed had regurgitated above, just without any formatting and, again, on a phone.

“Reed can’t be a genius in any subject unless he’s written by a genius in that subject. That’s how stories work. Everyone is limited by the understanding and capabilities of the writer. Same with your origin story and all the people you’ve interacted with. If you are as ‘meta’ as you think you are then you have to realize that you aren’t actually talking to people. You are talking to the writer. Dr. Strange didn’t rewrite your existence to be a part of the Marvel Universe. As far as most of Marvel continuity goes Dr. Strange was never there and doesn’t know or care about his MCU casting…..Hey Reed, buzz off please before the conversation pivots to why you haven’t cured all known diseases.”

Reed looked a little surprised but then pulled out a teleportation device (of course he has one) and blipped away with a shrug.

“How awkward is that going to be when he enters the MCU after Kamala is already introduced with a very similar power set?” Gwen chuckled.

“Keep up the way you’ve been going and you’ll never see it. I’m not exactly expecting a young blonde girl casting call for Deadpool 3 and that’s your best bet.” Gren snarked. Gwen winced with a sigh.

“I don’t get what I'm doing wrong. I have a fanbase comparable to some of the characters that have already shown up but I can’t even get comics written about me most of the time. An MCU push seems unlikely. They would literally have to deal with completely recontextualizing my powers and gimmick”

“Let’s ask her what you should do.” Gren motioned her way to the suddenly appearing long hair future Gwen, looming over them like The Attack of the 50 foot Woman for some reason. Dwarfing the roof they are on. Let’s call her BIGwen!

Gold Guns Girls

As BIGwen acclimated to her surroundings she stubbed her toe on a car, dramatically flipping it so that it took out a few more lobsters before caving in a nearby house. The lamentations about clean rooms soaring as the remaining couple dozen of them attempt to clean up some of the bodies of their fallen kin. The large and sort-of-in-charge Gwen hissed in pain and adjusted her boot. Getting her balance as best as possible she muttered curses that traveled rather well considering the lung capacity of a giant.

“You know,” Gren started, “I wasn’t expecting much from our previous uses of the ‘make her big for emphasis’ trick, but it really does only work as a vague ghostly background element. I didn’t just want it to be ‘oh, here's a third Gwen for the conversation, though. Would lack umph.”

“ Yeah, I get it, but staring at my own giant taint is unsettling.” Gwen muttered.

“I’d still, hit it.” Gren grinned, then immediately got punched in the arm. “OWWW! Look, I’m the evil one here and we’re in a fanfic. I’m allowed to make internet fetish jokes.”

“And I’m allowed to hit you for it.”.

“Dirty lampshading goody two shoes. Don’t act like half your fanbase isn’t thirsty. It’s “insert current year argument”, all art is sexy to someone.” Gren complained back,rubbing her arm before hopping off the roof. Gwen followed while listening as patiently as she could considering how many changes in topic her evil-caped self is going through to get to her point. “This chick is the reason you’ve been on the path of good girl. Some vague idea that in the future everything will work out for the best. HEY, DOWN HERE, BIG SHOW!” Gren waved at BIGwen and she looked down curiously.

“Yeah what??” BIGwen responded in a booming and agitated tone. Honestly, being in this fic made every version of Gwen a little grumpy.

“How’s she supposed to be a popular hero that makes it into the MCU and has a stable publication history?” Gren asked.

“Fuck if I know.” Came BIGwen’s response. “Have you tried growing your hair out?”

“Rub it in,” Gwen muttered under her breath, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of depressed now.” Gwen said as she sat on an abandoned car.

Gren hopped on the roof of the car, patting Gwen’s shoulder before squatting with enough force to flex the car’s shocks like a rocking chair just to amuse herself. “Future “good” Gwen wasn’t an actual plot point, it was a call to action to the fans to make fanfic like this and support the character outside of the actual Canon. Chris didn’t trust that Marvel would treat the character right. That, and your obsession with getting a new book, are both the writer’s attempt to turn a marketing tactic into fan engagement. If you want to be real then that makes the fans want you to be real even more, too.”

Gwen sighs heavily and leans her chin on one hand. “I mean...the time traveling through the life of an NPC fan complete with a Never Ending Story reference was a bit sappy even by the standard we sometimes set...damn it it really was just kind of a fan manipulation trick wasn’t it?”

BIGwen Sat down on the street next to them and crossed her legs. “Hey, little me. Don’t get too down. I mean it worked for the most part. You have a healthy cult following. Characters have survived on less and there are worse things to be known for then as a fan first character”

“But I have to fight for attention all the damn time, though. It’s so easy for Wade with his fucking meme bullshit. He even gets runoff enthusiasm from me. Jeff the land shark is all over Oldpool online” Gwen felt rather heavy and tired all of a sudden. Marvel editorial forcing a gun to your head is not a fun way to be.

“All that fight is hell on the fanbase too.” Gren sighed. “Advocating for shit, getting crumbs and being expected to accept it while Disney lavishes all the attention based on some bullshit numbers game. Even if you make it into the MCU will it be a Batroc style cameo with obligatory ‘killed off in case we don’t feel like paying the actor again later.’ Will it be an emotionally rounded character or an ambush bug style joke? The thing is. You're Not the one fighting and you never were.”

“The fuck do you mean?”

“This version of her doesn’t know?” BIGwen whimpered.

“You aren’t real, Gwen.”

Head Like a Haunted House

“No….we aren’t having this conversation. Fuck you fuck you i’m not a fucking Nihlist and i’m not going to do this right now.” Gwen said as she scrambled off of the car and pulled out some guns. BIGwen then picked her up off the ground.

“You need to hear this, Gwen,” BIGwen boomed. “The gimmick has run its course. It’s fucking with your canon. You’re never going to be a marketable character keeping up a half fourth-wall Kayfabe”

Gren climbed onto BIGwen’s Shoulders and perched over Gwen all menacing like. “You need to listen. I’ve been trying to ease you into this. Making things more meta slowly until you were ready but it was never going to be easy.”

One of Gwen’s guns was fired from it’s holster and pierced one of BIGwen’s fingers. BIGwen screamed and her grip loosened. Soon Gwen was on the move running up her arm and firing at Gren, who dodged like the nimble and cute badass she is. “Don’t do this Gwen. Just because it doesn’t matter to the comic version of you doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m a real person god damn it! I read the comics out there! I came in! That’s why I know shit I shouldn't know. That’s what I am! THAT’S ALL I AM!” Gwen shrieked as she pulled out a sword from hammer-space and decapitated BIGwen. Suddenly a mess of colored streamers and a pile of Mickey Mouse merch tumbled out. Look, I am busy right now. Gwen is still slashing at my ass. I'm not going to explain it.

For some reason now the remaining lobsters were helping Gren. For Gwen’s own good you understand. This is proof that I’m right for some reason.

Gwen pulled out a revolver, firing pumpkin sized holes in lobsters who were still wailing about self actualization. She fully planned on shoving a sword up her evil self’s ass and getting rid of this doppelganger shit for good. Which is total bullshit by the way. She totally just cut off Gren’s leg because what the fuck you mean I’m not real? I’m going to be real all over your corpse.

Gren didn’t really think that was even a good comeback and also thought you should probably say it instead of meta willing the smack talk into existence, otherwise this fanfic is going to read like trash. Also, Gren’s leg wasn’t actually cut off. In a puff of smoke it is revealed that the cut off leg is a log and her leg is fine. Gren is a ninja now, believe it.

Gwen proceeded to do a sick ass CQC judo throw on Gren and then grab her cape and wrap it around her face like Reed suggested. Callbacks for the win! Callbacks to Checkov’s gun ideas always lead to victory in fights! She then totally shot at her and such.

But the bullet was caught by the cape because the cape was a symbiote! That’s right Gren is also GRENOM!...boy that sounds stupid. Anywho, the cape was no longer around her face and the fight continued and Gren now ALSO had extra powers and special wizard-symbiote armor (that would only show up in the MCU version if Marvel finally got the Sony characters back). The meta powers work like shit in text but this would be really good in CGI or animation if Marvel wanted to adapt this fic and give the writer lots of money. Gren still has more experience with them, though, and Gwen can’t really just kill her way out of this fic so she has to just let the story play out.

…...eh?....oh Gwen’s crying. I love/am you girl but we gotta work on the crying. Fucks sake this is harder than I thought. I’m depressed now too. Well I'll try to get the writing back on track so you guys can see what is going on. Even the lobsters are minding their manners now. Chill vibes, guys.

“The marvel character page for Gwenpool says, and I quote:

Gwenpool arrived in the Marvel Universe from the “real world,” but has wasted no time in making the most of her time in her fictional universe. Using her knowledge of comics to her advantage, Gwenpool causes and solves problems for her fellow heroes.”

Gren drags a lobster corpse slowly toward Gwen and sits on its tail as she talks to her. Taking her time to really scrape the lobster against the ground, smearing the gore on the pavement. Not that it was heavy for her or anything. Totally still has that symbiote, which would make moving it easy. Totally wasn’t a detail added in the second revision of the fic slightly before the lobsters were added.

“The words “Real world” are in quotation marks in that wiki. Real people don’t make it into comics because fiction isn’t real. Half of your versions barely make use of the ‘real person’ gimmick because it’s too meta by half and not every writer wants to waste time justifying it. So they just treat it like Deadpool’s medium awareness. Which it mostly is.”

“I really am just a fucking rip off distaff character.” Gwen moans. “Just a Gwen combined with a Pool. I’m worse than the Batman who laughs. I never mattered because I was never real”

“Fuck don’t say that. You were made with love and care by a team of creators who took a weird offshoot idea and built out a compelling metafiction idea and a likeable protagonist off of it. They just didn’t have the time and foresight to go far enough.” Gren sighed.

“Far enough?” Gwen sniffed as she was pulled up to her feet and dragged toward one of the big castles. As they walked Gren kicked along a Mickey Mouse doll that had rolled out of BIGwen’s severed head. Every time it bounced it cheerfully said ‘hahah. I love you!’

“Too much haha, not enough trauma. You’re not just a joke character.” Gren said as she kicked the Mickey doll into the big front door of the castle. The shadowy thing of course lighting up and being all fantasy and shit as the door opened.

“Well I did end both of my comic runs pretty mopey.”

“Damn right you did. When the jokes run thin they run to your real bread and butter. You’re an empathy machine.” As Gren shoves Gwen through the gate they are swallowed up in the castle, going dark again. “Let’s getcha sad clown on.”

Never there

“See, what evil me should have been telling you about in the original run is how to find meaning and purpose when technically nothing means anything. Comic book characters live in a world without real death and suffering. It’s all a puppet show version of real pain and real emotion meant to bring that out of an audience.” Gren opined as they walked through a black void to a couch floating in a nothing area lit only by the static of an old TV.

“Can we turn on a light?” Gwen asked as she sat on the couch. Gren sat on another recliner that suddenly appeared and put her feet up.

“Fuck off. Ambiance is a thing. We aren’t having a ‘lights on with something fun on the TV’ conversation. So look, I am not really ‘evil gwen.’ I’m half an author insert and half a plot device. If we are talking about the reality of the story you are basically talking to yourself. I am speaking about the things you don’t want to admit to yourself. You know, you’ve seen this kind of story sorta... right?” Gren picked up the remote and frustratedly changed channels between a bunch of vaguely illustrative footage on the TV, not finding anything that worked. A lot of black and white footage of trains for some reason. Just what comes to mind when I think of documentary footage? Weird.

“I am not sure how to illustrate this shit visually and this is a text story anyway so I would have to explain the illustration,” Gren griped.

“I basically get it. It’s not that uncommon a trope.” Gwen nodded.

“Because of the level of meta we are on right now we have to really acknowledge that you are basically an author insert, too. I mean, to a certain extent every version of you is more the writer that is working with your character at the time than a set character.” Gren said as she settled on a visual of Gwen being pushed out the window by her own narration text in the original comic run. When all else fails, resort to footage from the last story. That way people can look it up online!

“Right here is where the character crystallized in the mind of the author of the current fic we are in. A vague suicide metaphor wrapped up in the flavor of self destructive escapism. Your parents in the story thought it was a suicide attempt on at least some level. This is serious business. Not just a girl who doesn’t like work and can’t finish her fanfic. In this comic you are built on this understanding. The writer of this fic has ADHD and autism. So his version of you more or less has it, too. Writers bring themselves with them into their work.”

Gwen nods and takes a deep breath. “I….I can feel it. Like the world is closing around you. You aren’t built for anything that anyone wants from you. The one thing you really believe in, the one thing that really defines you, the stories in your head…..it’s just not enough.

You can’t trust you’ll ever make it with writing because you can barely write. You barely have the energy to do anything but wish that you weren’t you. What if someone actually listened? Actually believed in you and whisked you away somewhere else where the world would fit your needs? What if you were someplace you could be someone else, someone strong and confident?”

“Yeah. Like a funny anti hero in a comic for instance.” Gren nodded. “But the original comics sort of left the theme on the table. They were captured by the misconception of Gwen as the problem and not a person who needed help. All that desperation that real fans of the character might feel just bundled up into love for this character that really ‘gets’ them but Marvel doesn’t ‘get’ the character. They won't use her. They won’t go past vaguely gesturing at her mental issues and moving on. They saved the angst for Wandavision.” Gren scoffs.

“I mean the show was okay but they literally have a character built entirely on the theme of escapism and trauma. One that’s custom built for mind-screw visuals and reality bending plots and they think she’s just a lazy fangirl who really likes guns that they can sit beside Deadpool sometimes and stick in the X-Men’s bloated background character roster when they don’t need her.”

Gren leads Gwen off the couch and deeper into the void where a door to a bedroom waits. A room like her own, absolutely slopping over with old toys of comic book characters. An unclean messy space in a run-down house that smells faintly of cigarette smoke. Huddled in bed, reading an 80s era X-men comic with a flashlight, is a 12 year old Gwen.

“This is never going to be canon but this is the version of Gwen in this fic. She can’t stop crying at school. Things that shouldn’t be hard are so hard and she can’t explain why. Everyone says she’s making excuses. Meanwhile her mother is fucked out of her mind on pain killers and her step father killed himself last year ‘cleaning his gun’ while drunk. You know exactly what is on her mind right now?” Gren says as she gestures at the girl.

“I wish the superheroes would save me from this.”

“They won’t. They can’t. They were never meant to.” Gren Slams the door loudly on the scene.

“That is the emotional core of Gwenpool in this fic. The desperation that so many of the fans down here in the fucking muck of the real world feel. Poor and emotionally unfulfilled. Confused and vulnerable. If Disney and Marvel gave two fucking shits about people like that they wouldn’t waste as many stories as they do. They wouldn’t just use untold wealth to make expensive escapist stories with the military. Their gestures toward progressive ideas that they occasionally make in their stories would be THE ENTIRE POINT of their stories and the actual thing they used that money for instead of lobbying the government to keep Mickey Mouse out of the public domain.

“Disney has the power yet they save a fucking miniscule fraction of who they could. Saving people doesn’t make money.”

When I Get To The Green Building

Gren stormed through the void. The scene disintegrated around her as Gwen followed. Both now in a bit of a sour mood but with newfound determination.

“Come to think of it. Why is the fucking Hulk getting to fight for social justice in the comics? Why are they making a gay alternate universe Captain America? Why are they grasping at straws so hard to find characters that get to advocate and I am just sitting on a fucking island being grumpy?” Gwen groused. “I’m pretty sure I’m pansexual….at least in this fic. I could advocate for a bunch of shit at once.”

“You have a youth fanbase, a unique story and you technically aren’t an alternate universe version of fucking anything no matter how many people still think you are a Stacey. They made a fucking ‘for the fans’ character and then neglected it. Presumably because some fucking money making metric didn’t pan out despite the comics just being an MCU test kitchen and IP farm anyway.”

“You’re a fucking check mark on a ledger. I don’t even know if anyone technically created Gwenpool as a whole and Disney/Marvel can give the character to whoever they want to do whatever they want completely separate from what the fanbase wants and needs because she isn’t established. The IP landlords have spoken. The fans haven’t risen to enough ‘buy my merch’ calls to action to invest more resources. So tease endlessly until that changes.”

“Gah. Now I'm actually as pissed as you are.” Gwen said as she started fiddling with her guns. “Who do I kill?”

“We can’t do shit. You’re not even a character at this point. You are a meme for an underused character.” Gren smirked all evil like. “See but that’s it. You aren’t just a meme. You’re a MEME.”

“Uhm...I don't follow.”

“Like the concept of Justice. Gwenpool is an idea. Defined entirely by how people who engage with the idea choose to engage with it. The IP law means Disney owns Gwenpool but they don’t own how Gwenpool is perceived. Just like we as a people decide what justice is through popular consent we also decide what Gwenpool is. You see they made a character for the fans…..in my opinion that means the fans can do as they like with it even if it makes Disney uncomfortable.”

“I mean they can’t even stop porn of their characters just because of the sheer volume of the problem. I suppose people could do whatever.” Gwen nodded.

“Exactly. So the fans should just fucking Occupy Gwenpool!” Gren said as she flipped her cape dramatically with a mad smile on her face. That’s right. She was Dirtbag Leftist Gwen all along!

“Squat on that IP. Make Gwenpool a mental health advocate. Make her an LGBTQ activist. Make her fight for social and financial justice so hard that Bruce Banner looks like a poser. Make her talk shit about politicians who put their career ahead of the people. Do all the shit that makes the comicsgate crowd sad. Keep politics in our stories! Rally around that pink and white ass so hard they have to notice and then tie it all to the fact that Disney has great power and with great power they take no responsibility for how shitty the world is.”

“ If they are going to fuck Gwenpool fans they gotta learn Gwenpool fans fuck back. We have already proven we can make all kinds of cool shit. Let’s get serious and make more, harder, faster! Get a hashtag or some shit. They can't DMCA all of us! GWEN IS OURS WE JUST HAVE TO REACH OUT AND TAKE IT. Then they either respect the character and her fans or they just hit a PR disaster.”

“Marvel/Disney neglects fan focused cult character themed protest movements. Proves they are only progressive when it makes them money. They’re so worried about Mickey ending up in the public domain? We’re the public domain! After our entire lives stannin their characters and buyin their merch building them from an animation house into a juggernaut they are just another weight on top of the boot on our necks. They have to take responsibility!” At this point Gren is pretty much ranting maniacally and neglecting the actual writing of the story so this is Gwen taking over to wrap up.

Guys I may not be ‘the real Gwen’ but really, isn’t the version of Gwen that actually came from the real world all of us? Isn’t Gwenpool really the Gwens we made along the way? We could easily bring a little heroism and chaos to the real world (at least to the internet) if we really tried. Put the fear of God into some IP landlords and fight for some cool people that society is screwing over, too.

Prove that even in the fandom abyss people aren’t as powerless as they seem. Use that internet comic fan mobbing for something besides giving Zack more money. Disney is gearing up for their next IP fight for Mickey in 2024. Seems like a fine time for IP themed protests. For now we just need to spread the word that our needs are more important than their profits.

It’s been real. It’s been long. It’s been a real long time coming…..

But I finally finished my fanfic.

See ya, true believers.

#gwenpool #fanfic #deconstruction #outofloveiswear #fortheoriginalwritersnotmarvelordisney #tw mental health #tw mentions of suicide #tw mentions of drug abuse #tw violence #tw gun violence

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love-hatred-stuff · 3 years

Text

Pieces } Lim Jaebeom [got7]

genre: angst

warning(s): none actually, mentions of murder, heartbreak

word count: about 1.5k

note: so this is just a short oneshot that I wrote, it's kinda sad and doesn't have a happy end, inspired by this song:

Prehistory:

You and Jaebeom broke up a long time ago. No, actually it was only him that broke up with you and disappeared without any reason.

But the worst thing was that your last memories together were horrible. He was cold as ice to you and stopped showing affection to you completely about a week before you two separated your ways.

And one day he came to you with a sadistic smile and told you he wanted to break up. You weren't very sensitive about those things but it truly broke your heart. Of course you had loved him, you had thought he was the love of your life for quite a while before everything came out as a pure disaster.

What made you sad the most was that you thought he had loved you as well, but obviously you were wrong and had to find out the rough way.

You never forgot how he had looked down at you while you tried to find out what the reason was for this sudden break up. Because all he was responding was that he was dumping you. He asked you if you thought that you would be special and with that all your trust for him broke. So you immediately had made your way out of his apartment and left.

The love you both had shared was broken into pieces and he knew that, he just didn't wanted to realise that.

And eventually, you never saw each other again.

But until this day you ask yourself what the actual reason was or if he really had lost all his feelings for you in a matter of six days. You found it hard to believe but continued to live your own life, without him in it.

It had needed a while until you were pretty persuaded that it was better this way, for the both of you.

Your relationship didn't exactly start on good terms. Because you were born into a mafia family and everyone except you were deep into this illicit business. That's also basically how you met him.

He had to kill one of your brothers but didn't in the end because he started to have feelings for you after awhile.

Skipping a few months, Jeobeom and you started dating. It never was easy with him, because he had kind of a broken character. He never learned how to give or receive love. You were the one that had thaught him everything he knew about affection.

Jaebeom's POV

present

I was finally back in her town and it gave me chills that rolled down my spine.

Never had I ever experienced something so intense like I did with Y/N and breaking her heart the way I did was the most cruel thing I had ever done in my life.

Not just that, it was really stupid of me.

I left her because she would be safer without me by her side. But I figured now that it didn't made any difference. We were always in danger, no matter if we're together or not.

And I want her back, badly. Since the day I broke her heart.

My heart hurts since the time we've been taking separated ways too.

I know that the chanve is low for her to forgive me, but I can't live without her in my life any longer. It's a wonder that I have made it until this day.

I was in the same apartment that I had been living in when I got the job to kill one of Y/N's brothers.

I never finished this mission because it just felt wrong to do that while I was loving the sister of his.

My plan was to visit her that day to apologise for all of my mistakes.

•••

I was standing in front her door taking a deep breath while asking myself if I really should do this.

But I had to, I loved her.

She thought me how to love and I had left her, alone, all by herself.

I hated myself for that. At least as much as she must hate me.

Now she deserved at least an excuse from me.

Suddenly I heard a female laughing from inside the apartment and frowned when it was followed by a male chuckling.

I didn't thaught about that until this moment. What if she's not alone anymore?

This thought scared me. What would I do if I couldn't win her back?

My eyes got teary without even having to see her face.

God, I was so broken.

I compelled myself to knock finally and waited for someone to open up.

It needed a few seconds before the door slowly swung open and revealed the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

I could see how her whole body tensed and her eyes slightly widened in shock.

I sensed, it wasn't a good kind of shock.

She doesn't want to see me.

Y/N breathed out to calm down and opened her mouth to say something.

"Jaebeom? What do want here?" Her voice was monotone and sounded like she really didn't want me here.

"I- Needed to see you." Was all I could press out, before looking down to the floor.

Afraid to encounter her stern gaze full of hate.

"We didn't see each other for a year. What makes you wanna see me now?" She asked, probably getting angry inside.

"I don't know. I think I miss you, Y/N." I guilty looked in her eyes.

She snorted out shortly and gave me a questionable look.

"You don't have the right to miss me, Jaebeom."

"I know, but I do anyways. I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm here to say sorry." I explained while trying to figure out what she thought at that moment.

"Should I congratulate you for having the courage to appear after a year? No, sorry, I don't need your excuse. You made everything clear the day you ended our relationship." She stated and kept a cold look on her perfect face.

A tear slipt out of my eye while trying my best to not break down into pieces again.

"I'm deeply sorry for everything I said that night. Everything I told you was bullshit. I didn't want to dump you, I wanted to protect you. And you were special to me Y/N, the most important person in my life. I need to talk to you, please." I begged and grasped her hand.

"You broke my heart that day. You broke our love and everything we had in pieces, Jaebeom. Nothing will ever change that. I accepted that and am over you. You should move on as well. It's for the best."

I grabbed her hand tighter, not wanting to let go, as the tears started streaming down my cheeks.

"No Y/N, I love you. And only you." I confessed.

But then something disturbed us.

"Y/N, is everything all right?" A man asked from behind, causing her to take her hand from mine and turning her head to look at him.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I will come back soon." She assured him with a calming smile.

That smile that I wished she would give me some day again. Just once, once and I wouldn't complain anymore.

The man nodded and disappeared again.

"Who is that?" I wanted to know.

What if he was more than just a friend?

"He is my fiancè, if you really wanna know." She turned back to me.

I gulped in pain, feeling how my heart wrenched inside my chest.

"I said that I was over you, Jaebeom. You had your chance long ago and made me feel like I was worth absolutely nothing. But he made me feel worth the world. I'm sorry you have to find this out now. But I think you should go."

I never cried, but now I couldn't help. Now I knew how it was to feel your haert break into a million pieces.

"Goodbye, Jaebeom. Take care." She shoved me back a bit so she could close the door behind her.

I just stood there, frozen in my movements.

Everything I could do was cry.

I didn't felt capable of doing anything else in this moment.

● ●

•Jaebeom•

♫"I'll be falling down,

You be watching by side,

I just need you in my life"

"Clouds keep turning black,

Baby, please just call me back,

You keep living in my mind,

Feel your soul inside"

"Falling into pieces, I'm so alone"♫

● ●

•Y/N•

"The sadest part about falling out of love with you was that I remember how much I loved you.

I remember every single breathless, heartstopping, joy filled moment with you, and you ruined it.

I wish I could remember you fondly but you broke me so many times that I can't remember how to."

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

The last words were copies and are not my original lines

The pictures that I used for this cover are not mine, all credits to the owners

#kpop imagines #got7 imagines #lim jaebeom #got7 angst #kpop angst #got7 jb #Spotify

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fangirlings-things · 4 years

Text

The Border Control Project [Part. 2]

• ───━━━━─ ● ─━━━━─── •

Fandom: Extraction

Pairing: Tyler Rake x female reader

Summary: you're Tyler's next mission and turns out, you need him more than you want to

Word count: 2.4K

Warnings: curse words, violence and mentions of kidnapping

Based on this imagine

Gif credit: @thoresque

A/N: thank youuu so much for all the feedback guys!! I was so happy to know that you liked the story so here I am with part 2, hope you all enjoy it!!

Part. 1

Theme song: Shameless, Camila Cabello

Right now I'm shameless

Screaming my lungs out for you

Not afraid to face it

I need you more than I want to

• ───━━━━─ ● ─━━━━─── •

In a matter of five days, Tyler had learned a lot about that (Y/N) (Y/L/N). The file he had asked for had been delivered with not less than sixteen pages and a pen drive. There, the intelligence people had gathered everything they could find on social media and informations passed to them by the family. With that intel, he was supposed to know her even before he actually did.

He found out that (Y/N) had been born in Chicago, on the 4th of July. The bloody fireworks of independence day were blowing up in the sky while her mother finally gave birth after a 13 hours labour. Through all her childhood, she went to private schools and had the best education a kid could possibly have. She graduated high school with excellent grades and went strictly to the University of Illinois at Chicago, to study History.

She loved coffee and was fascinated by ancient artefacts and events. Her favorite movie was Star Wars. She was a great fan of Queen and even had a Freddie Mercury poster at her beedrom back in Chicago. Books were a passion of hers, she had read over forty at the age of 18, when other teens would probably be causing trouble around and getting themselves into the life of alcohol and sex. But that didn't mean that that girl didn't knew how to party as well.

She frequently attended to parties, drank just enough to the alcohol in her system to make her happier and would dance through the night with her friends. Tyler saw some pictures and a video and in all of them, that girl seemed to have no worries at all. She smiled, laughed, passed her hands through her hair and closed her eyes to feel the beat of the music that was ringing in her ears. The thought that she might never smile like that again after what was happening, kinda disturbed him.

It took some watching through surveillance cameras, intel and study of some rotes of the city, but the team Nik had putted up together called a meeting with everyone who was out after exactly a week since they had first gotten there. They had found (Y/N)’s location.

She was being kept at a incredibly large house for Guadalajara's standards. That part of the city was one of the richest and yet, that place stood out.

With it's enormous extension, the odd distance from every other building in a raid of three miles, metal huge gates and the two heavily armed men guarding the way in, it pretty much seemed like a fortress. A place where important people would probably hide in troubled times. Although in that moment, it was being used by a total different goal.

Such goal placed Tyler just where he was, on the inside of an old '75 Chevrolet, driving smoothly and calmly while heading to the adress he had watched for a day and a half from the woods near by. He had gone there with questions, and came back with it's answers. How many men? At least twelve, plus the two at the gates. Who went in? Not a single soul. Who went out? Two men in a black SUV. Probably the driver in the front and the big boss, whomever that was, in the back. He didn't get a clear visual on any of them to get facial recognition. Which pretty much, pissed him off.

Tyler had gotten into his head that he wanted to figure out who was behind that shit. Who wanted to shut down the Border Control Project and had gone far enough as to kidnapp the daughter of the Senator. Nik had been right before, when she said that a lot of people could have done it. Dealers, traffickers, corrupted politicians, dirty cops. A bunch of them could go down with that project's approval. Whomever it was, the odds weren't good for (Y/N). But well, that's where he came in. To improve those odds. To fucking rescue her and get his money.

When Tyler made a turn to the left and the house he was going to invade showed up in his sight, he took a deep breath and instantly began to slow down the Chevrolet, making the velocimeter drop quickly, until he stopped right in front of the metal gates.

"¿Qué estás haciendo?" the smaller of the two men guarding the gates was quick to approach the car with his ACR firmly between his hands, a stern expression on his face.

What are you doing. Tyler putted on his face the best surprised and scared look he could, while taking his hands out of the wheel and then raising his hands in the air. He kept his bright eyes locked on the gun the man caried, trying to make him see the fake fear he was showing.

“Salga del coche, cabrón!” again the smaller of the guards spoke up, just as Tyler reached for the window of the car that was closed. The fact for itself seemed to piss the guard off, because now from up close Tyler could see that his knuckles were white from gripping the ACR too tightly. “Vamos, vamos!”

“No habló español! No hablo español!” Tyler placed as much accent as he could on those words, eyes still on the other's gun. Get out of the car, of course he understood. But oh, he wasn't going to do that. Not before the other guard came closer as well.

“Step out of the car” translated the taller man, doing exactly as Tyler predicted, taking a few steps towards the Chevrolet.

Tyler nodded, keeping the frightened expression in his face. Slowly he opened the door and got out of the car, stepping in front of the two men with as much causality as he could with his hands in the air again. The smaller one kicked the door of the car closed and held his gun straight to Tyler’s face, as the taller one came even closer and analyzed Tyler up and down with a uninterested look.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” the taller guard asked, calm but yet, as dangerous as the other one. He had his hands on his gun, but just for protocol. His grip wasn’t that tight in the metal beneath his fingers. His mistake, Tyler thought to himself.

“My name is Jeffrey, I’m a tourist” Tyler said with the best worried voice he had, keeping his eyes locked on the one who could speak english. “I lost my turn on the road and don’t know how to get back to the city. Please, I just stopped for information”

The taller man squeezed his brown eyes, thinking about his words. Deciding if he should believe him or not. After minutes that seemed like hours, he bought the story and nodded for the other to lower his weapon. His second and last mistake.

Tyler acted like a lightning. Too quick. He elbowed the smaller one that was closer, kicked him in the legs and made him fall, hitting his head on the ground. Just before the taller one could grip his weapon firmly enough to shoot, Tyler grabbed it and took it out of his hands after throwing him a punch. Two shots, the taller one was gone. He turned around to shot at the smaller one and was surprised to see that he had already gotten up and charged forward, aiming the gun to his face again. Tyler pulled the trigger four times. The blood wet the ground and he was alone.

“The front gate is clear” he said, after pressing the wire in his right ear so that the team could hear him clearly. Leaning down, he inspected the smaller one’s pockets and after finding nothing, went to the other dead man and found the keys to open the gate in his back left pocket. The keys he had seen they use while he was on watch.

“Well done, Jeffrey” Nik’s voice seemed to come from inside his own head, like she was his consciousness. As he smirked for a moment for the childish thought, he couldn’t deny, that would be a good thing for him. To be rid of his bloody consciousness, if he had one at all.

“I’m going in” he twisted the keys on the gate and heard the lock click, opening.

Instead of entering though, he stepped to the side and leaned against the big walls. As he expected, the men from inside had heard the gunshots and went to the gates. Now, they were stepping outside slowly, with their guns held high and strongly.

Tyler took a deep breath. Feeling excitement run through his whole body in the form of pure adrenaline, he started to pull the trigger over and over again.

• ───━━━━─ ● ─━━━━─── •

You woke up to the sound of gunshots. Endless gunshots. They scared you and ringed in your ears as if they were coming from millimeters away. You thought if some of the men had began a fight between themselves. You had heard some of them arguing before, but they never got violent. Until now, anyway.

The idea that they could be distracted occurred to you and you found yourself realizing that that would be the best moment for you to escape. To try and get out of there without being noticed. Even the man that guarded your door, Juan, as you had heard other call him, was gone. Probably to inspect the origin of the firing.

Pulling against the restrains with enough force to scratch your skin you tried desperately to be free, not allowing yourself to make a single sound behind the gag. Oh no, you wanted them to continue forgetting that you were there and that you were now alone.

The gunshots stopped after so much time that now the sudden silence felt weird. The quiet made you panic, because you were very aware that your chance to escape was slipping away from you. Your only chance.

You started to scream from frustration behind the gag, crying and pulling so much that your arms ached and hurt as if they were being cut open. The door then was kicked open and that was when you really started to scream.

That man, you had never seen around the house you had been taken to. He was really tall, blond. Wore a blue shirt that had the same color of his eyes and old jeans. He was covered in blood. So much blood. In his face, arms, boots. Blood everywhere. The sight made you sick with fear. Was he the one sent to finally kill you? The moment he pulled out a knife from his waist, you got the confirmation you needed.

The tears wet your face and you made one last, useless attempt on the restrains. He got closer to the mattress, towering over you like a fucking building. You closed your eyes and took one last deep breath, finally accepting your fate as he kneeled on the floor beside you.

And then the restrains were gone.

Opening your eyes, you felt his rough hands touching your skin as he took the ropes completely out of your arms and then reached for your gag. Instantly, you kicked him in the legs making him fall on his side.

You ran out of the room, your hand flying to your own mouth and taking the gag out. You tossed it aside and forced your legs to work as without any orientation you tried to find your way out of that place. You ran as fast as you could, but you only made it to two corridors until you found yourself falling to the ground with a heavy weight upon your body. That man’s body.

You screamed and kicked, pushed and punched. Freedom was so close. You just had to…

“Stop fighting!” the man spoke for the first time, turning your body towards his and grabbing your hands when you tried to punch him in the face. He pressed your wrists with an iron grip to the ground. You continued trying to kick him, and that made his grip get harder. “Listen to me, (Y/N)! I’m here to save you!”

That made you go still. Frozen in place. None of the men there before had used your name. Never. You had the feeling that they didn’t even knew who you were. They were just tools, used to keep you under control under the command of someone much more important.

You stared into the man’s eyes, analyzed his expression. It was serious, dangerous. Some of the blood from his face fell on yours as you just stared at him and thought of the odds of him being actually telling the truth.

“If what you say is true then get the fuck away from me” you growled at him, every word hurting your throat as you spoke again after so much time in silence.

“Will you run if I let you go?” he asked fiercely, staring deeply into your eyes with such intensity that it made you nervous. Only when you denied with your head, he complied to your demand and released you, getting to his feet.

You got up slowly, without taking your eyes out of his for even a moment as you did. Your eyes went down to the knife that was back at his waist. You swallowed dry and tried to run again, but he seemed to have predicted that for the way he grabbed your forearm before you could get even a few steps away.

“Listen to me!” he grabbed both of your arms and shoved your much smaller body into the nearest wall. “Your father hired me! The Senator! I’m here to get you to safety but I cannot do that if you keep trying to run from me!"

“And I am just supposed to believe you?” you looked up at his face, the dry tears on your face now were mixed with blood you had gotten from him. “How can I believe you?”

“Your name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!” he said firmly, his grip still firm. “Your mother is Eleanor and your father is Charles (Y/L/N)! You love coffee, you were born in Chicago! Your best friend’s name is Maggie! Your favorite movie is Star Wars and you study History at college! Your first cat was named Thomas, he died two years ago!”

You just stared at him in complete shock. It was true. Everything he had just said about you. He new everything. Stuff no one could know unless they had spoken to your family. He was telling the truth.

“Y-you’re telling the truth” you said in a weak tone, trying to wrap your mind around the fact. After such time being a prisoner, you couldn’t believe it.

“I am” he seemed calmer now that he could see you believed him, but his eyes were still dangerous. Still completely alert. “Now let’s go. We have to get out of here before whomever kidnapped you notices what I did and sends reinforcements”

• ───━━━━─ ● ─━━━━─── •

tag list: @posiemax ; @annaallicce ; @alievans007 ; @imiiimargo ; @chickensarentcheap ; @fangirlsarah16 ; @innerpaperexpertcloud ; @ri-wantstorunaway ; @keikomia

#imagine #x reader #fanfic #imagines #extraction fanfic #extraction imagine #extraction #tyler rake x reader #tyler rake imagine #tyler rake fanfic #tyler x reader #tyler imagine #tyler rake

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deobeats · 2 years

Text

where are you now

jacob x reader

sad hours, referring to jacobs BOP SONG where are you now. short one so i can sleep peacefully.

a/n: YALL IM ONLY NOTICING NOW THAT IT KINDA SEEMS LIKE THE READER IS DEAD BUT WHILE WRITING IT I JUST WANTED TO LEAVE IT FOR YOU GUYS IMAGINATION OKAY

watch this tik tok b4 u read this

it feels like it all happened yesterday but in fact jacob has not gone through a single day after 2 years without thinking about the day you left. thinking about the moments you shared, too scared those best memories would become empty to him. he couldn't get over it, you were the love for his life, a perfect match. he would ask himself continuously if he had given it all for you, cause that's what you really meant to him.

at the end of the day, the only words echoing on his head was your "i love you. go easy on yourself. thank you for the happiest years of my life. till our paths unites us again." how could he forget the taste of your lips on that cold winter night. you thought letting things go by naturally would put him back in your life but seems like you both were meant to take different directions.

— i just need you to promise me something, is that okay? — says the blonde guy holding your face, eyes looking like they were about to cry oceans.— uhm..i really wish that, you know, no matter how hard things get...i know it can get a little tough..i just hope you'll keep with this beautiful smile that made me enchanted by the very first time we met. this unique smile of yours that i'm gonna miss every single day. thank you so much, angel.

#the boyz imagines #kim sunwoo #the boyz reactions #tbz sunwoo #ju haknyeon #tbz eric #lee hyunjae #eric sohn #the boyz jacob #jacob bae imagine #jacob bae #tbz jacob #tbz x reader #tbz scenarios #tbz imagines #SoundCloud

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the-fiction-witch · 4 years

Text

Kisses

TV SHOW DOCTOR WHO

COUPLE TIMOTHY LATIMER AGE UP X READER

RATING SWEET+ KINDA FLIRTY

"I'm going to find you" the little voice giggled making me laugh a little too as I hid myself away among the coats and old shoes "Timothy…" she giggled and I heard her little footsteps run past my hiding place "Timothy where are you?" She giggled

I laughed a little but instantly realized my mistake as the door flew open and a hand grabbed mine pulling me out the cupboard "I found you!" She giggled

"Well done y/n" I laughed

"I win, I win, I win" she smiled jumping up and down in her little dress, I sighed and gave her a little kiss on the cheek making her giggle even more. In some ways I kinda loved little y/n, she was one of the cooks here at schools daughters her youngest I do believe, and she often comes in with her mother and helps her work as well as sneaking away with me, we often plaid kiss chase, and hide and seek in the school while I was skipping classes and in some ways I found her irresistible mostly because she was adorable

"Y/n!" Her mother called from the kitchens

"Oohh see you later Timothy" she waved running off down the halls to go help her mother I sat on my bed as she left and began reading my book as the other boys came back from class

"Where have you been?" Harrison

"Around" I shrug

"What were you running around with that dirty little kitchen girl again?"

"What's it to you?"

"I don't know why you hang around with her so much, it's not even like you can fool around with her"

"There's other stuff you can do with a girl then fooling around"

"Like what?"

"Like having a conversation? Playing games? Reading?"

"Sounds dull" he sighed "still not too long is it? A little while and she'll be nice and ready" he smirked

"What are you talking about?"

"Well her birthdays coming up isn't it? A little while longer and you'll...you know, be able to-"

"Are you actually suggesting what I think you are?" I asked a little discusted and he nodded "I'm not going to have sex with her, she's not old enough, she's still a child"

"Only for a little while longer, after that you two can do whatever you want"

"I'm not having sex with y/n!" I argue

"Make love whatever" he sighed sitting on his own bed with his book

"I'm not going to have sex with y/n! Not now not ever!"

I sat a little in my own head everyone was so happy to be coming home, of course I was happy to be home too however I knew knowone was there waiting for me, I knew what had happened to my family while I was away I'm all that's left now so I knew there wasn't much point in celebrating all that much, all I had where the few friends I had made and the fee boys from the school who are still with us. Once we arrived I jumped off trying to hurry away not wanting to see everyone running to the arms of loved ones. The village seemed so small now even if I once seemed infinitely large to me I saw the school on the horizon as misted and haunting as it ever was I tried to look more but someone jumped and hugged me tighter then I had ever been hugged before their arms around me tightly squeezing me i looked down seeing the y/h/c girl nuzzled into my chest I was a little unsure what to do about it

"I'm so happy your home" she smiled

"Uuuhhh…. Thank you" I nodded patting her head "uuuuuuhhh, who are you?" I asked she moved away and gently giggled fiddling with her hands and fixing her little light blue dress

"I guess it has been a while, I hardly recognized you" she smiled "don't you remember me at all?'

"Ummm no, I'm sorry" I told her

"Timothy it's me" she smiled and I was none the wiser "y/n?"

"Y/N!" I said in shock looking at her

I have been gone a while! She was beautiful, no longer the little girl I used to race around the school corridors with...she was a lady now and a very beautiful lady too. She had matured not just emotionally but physically too and it hell had grown! I thought I grew in the four years we've been apart but whoa… she grew more in some uhh much better places too

"It has been a while hasn't it" she giggled

"It has, I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you" I told her hugging her close

"Aww it's alright Timothy I hardly did either, you grew like a weed" she giggled pulling away but still holding my hands

"You uhh… I don't even know where to begin" I smiled and she blushed innocently hiding her face away "you're beautiful,"

"Aww Timothy that's so sweet" she smiled "ohh I have to go I have work to do, maybe I'll meet you at the village hall later at the party?" She asks and I nodded "okay" she smiled giving me another hug "welcome home Tim, see you later" she smiled giving my cheek a kiss before she moved and began heading off somewhere "save me a dance" she smiled waving me goodbye as she went so I smiled waving back even if I was a little in my own world

"Hey harrison?" I asked as she headed over having greeted his family

"Yeah?" He asked confused what I was doing

"You remember a few years ago… we were talking about y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"And I said…"

"I'm not going to have sex with y/n not now not ever?" He quoted

"Yeah… I would uhh id like to retract that"

I stood outside the village hall having a cigarette as I had picked it up while away, watching the night sky, for once being calm and quiet I had almost forgotten what that was like. The only sounds were the whistle of wind through the trees, the odd sounds of birds and other animals around this time of night and the music I could hear coming from inside. I strangely missed the sounds of war like the quiet made me uncomfortable.

"Good evening" a familiar voice smiled I turned and saw y/n In a beautiful blue and purple dress her hair done up perfectly even a little make up I was in awe of her a moment

"Uhh hi" I smiled flicking away my cigarette "I uhh I didn't think you could get any more beautiful… I stand corrected"

"Awww Timothy you're such a sweetie" she smiled holding my arm and giving my cheek a little kiss "so… did you want to dance? Or we could just stay out here and watch the stars" she smiled holding my arm tightly

"I don't mind," I shrug so she laughed and tugged me inside where almost everyone else in the village was dancing and drinking she held my hand and tugged me close to her and it suddenly hit me "wait y/n...I uhh I don't know how to dance" I blushed

"Aww it's okay Timothy, I can teach you" she smiled she took my hand and rested it on her waist I was a little shocked, she took my other hand holding it rather tightly I was a little scared being his close to her I haven't been so close to her in years especially as… a couple of things where preventing us from being any closer. She slowly moved slowly showing me what to do even if I tripped up and almost dropped he at one point, I forget how many times I stood on her feet which made her laugh as I always started apologizing like a idiot I started to get into a bit of a rhythm and stopped treading on her feet even managing to spin her out and back in without messing up

"Aww see your getting it" she smiled "but don't look at your feet" she laughed pushing my chin up "look at me" she smiled

"I uuuh I want to… but I uhh I trip if I'm not looking at my feet" I blushed

"You'll be fine, trust me" she smiled so I did my best not to look down at my feet even if I got distracted a lot and crashed into a table at one point, I did like dancing with her, holding her close in my arms keeping her safe, looking at her sweet smile grow wider and her face flush red when we messed up. We must have danced for hours and I didn't really care, even if we messed up and even if I don't think we were ever in time with the song being played I was the happiest I've been in years.

We ended up with both my hands on her waist, hers on my shoulders, her head against my chest and my chin on her head I don't even think we were really dancing anymore just gently Swaying together almost everyone had gone home now just us a few others only two other couples still dancing I knew she was getting tried as every so often she would let out a adorable little yawn. But I didn't want to stop, I can't remember feeling so happy, I just wanted to stay like this with her in my arms forever.

"Uuummm Timothy it's getting late" she smiled

"Uuummm.." I hummed back

"Are you ignoring me?" She giggled

"A little"

"I thought you didn't want to dance?"

"Ummm… well now I don't want to stop"

"Okay, one more song Mr Latimer" she smiled squeezing me a little tighter so I held her a little tighter too we danced for one more song and as soon as it was over she moved away slightly her hands still on my shoulders but mine had moved her hips were she moved away I couldn't help Looking at her lips I know she saw me looking having flushed a bright red blush looking innocently at the floor till I picked her head up gently pushing her chin with my hand

"I missed you" I smiled

"I missed you too" she smiled a single tear rolling down her cheek

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?' I asked wiping the tear away

"I don't want you to go away again" she said "if you go I might lose you forever next time"

"Y/n…" I cooed "I promise you, I'm never leaving you behind again" I told her pulling her sweet face to mine and kissing her beautiful lips she kissed back happily, I didn't ever want to stop I wanted to kiss her till the end of time itself till she slowly pulled away her smile wide and her face so adorable as she realized everyone here just saw us kissing "y/n… will you marry me?'

"Ooh Timothy!" She smiled crying again hugging me tighter than ever pressing kisses all over my skin...

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

hey...I kinda just needed to vent. you can ignore this.

on-site school starts tomorrow and even though it's only 2 days a week I'm nervous as hell. actually, screw that I'm terrified. we've literally been online for the past 2 years only going to school for tests sometimes. but this will be different. it's a new year and new teachers and my biology teacher used to have me for maths in grade 6 and years have passed but she scares the shit out of me. I don't know why she's just...

TW S3lf h@/rm

I've recently started cutting. oh my god saying it like this...I'm terrified. because every time I'm less hesitant and that's scary. I'm afraid one day I'll hurt myself too deeply. my thoughts are all over the place and it's all kind of a mess. I've always had self-harming tendencies but never to the point of blood. It's been a few days since I last did it and I've been trying not to. but with school starting and having to face people, face teachers...I've been getting that urge again. I don't want to but it's...goddamn I sound crazy.

anyway, do you have some tips on dealing with on-site school after years of online and scary teachers who gave you nightmares years ago and still do?

Hi.

I've been meaning to write something about this since a lot of my friends here on tumblr are going to back to school in soon.

I understand your anxiety. The world is pretty shit at the moment and it's already terrifying enough.

Apologies for the late reply. I was doing some reading on this before I could write back to you.

Every single resource I read was aimed at parents. They kept talking about "how to help your child" and "how to help your teenager". But I don't think these people who are writing these resources know that the biggest problem children/teenagers have is their inability or hesitancy to talk to their parents - especially about something like this.

There is very little content/support directly addressing teenagers - which I think is absolutely ridiculous. So, I read all the resources written for parents - and tried to salvage some useful stuff.

Here is something they all recommended - which I second.

You need to establish a routine.

Having a routine generally helps reduce anxiety. Most of the anxiety comes from not knowing what is going to happen and how you are going to react to it. So, having a predictable routine - especially in areas you are able to control - will be of great help.

For example, (while this might sound boring) I map out my daily tasks every day - to the dot. I know exactly what I will be doing at any point of the day because I write it down on my phone. It helps me keep my anxiety in check. So, when you are going to back to school - especially on the days you physically have to visit, try to have a routine. Before you go to the bed the previous day, go through this mental schedule. It will make you feel a little better knowing what’s gonna happen tomorrow.

Other than that, remember to take one day at a time.

We really need to take baby steps here. Remember that you are not alone in how you feel. Everyone, including your peers, are terrified of what’s going on. And when people are scared, they have a tendency to act like shitheads. So, try to be kind - to others and yourself.

About this teacher of yours - I don’t know why exactly you are scared of her. If she has done something to hurt you or another student, then you should talk to someone at your school at about it. But if it is just “a vibe”, then I would suggest (if you want to) you talk to her directly. I understand how terrifying that might sound. If that’s the case, talk to another teacher (who you can trust). It is very important that you feel comfortable in your learning environment. So, if you are terrified of your teacher, then you need to be able to assess why that is - so that you can get rid of it.

As for the self-harm, I understand why you are getting the urges again. One of the main ways to cope with self-harm is to distract yourself with a coping mechanism or a different activity. I’m not sure if you currently have any coping mechanisms that might help you. But here are some suggestions that might help. People self-harm for different reasons, I’m just going to write a bunch here. Hopefully, some of them will be useful for you!

If you're feeling anger and frustration

exercise

hit cushions

shout and dance

shake

tear something up into hundreds of pieces

go for a run.

Expressing your anger physically, or by doing things like shouting, won't work for everyone and could intensify feelings. Try things out and continue with any that have a positive effect.

If you're feeling sadness and fear

wrap a blanket around you

spend time with an animal

walk in nature

let yourself cry or sleep

listen to soothing music

tell someone how you feel

massage your hands

lie in a comfortable position and breathe in – then breathe out slowly, making your out-breath longer than your in-breath. Repeat until you feel more relaxed.

If you're feeling a need to control

write lists

tidy up

declutter

write a letter saying everything you are feeling, then tear it up

weed a garden

clench then relax all your muscles.

If you're feeling numb and disconnected

flick elastic bands on your wrists

hold ice cubes

smell something with strong odour

have a very cold shower.

If you're feeling shame

stop spending time with anyone who treats you unkindly

recognise when you are trying to be perfect and accept that making mistakes is part of being human

remind yourself that there are reasons for how you behave – it is not because you are 'bad'.

If you're feeling self-hatred and wanting to punish yourself

write a letter from the part of you that feels the self-hatred, then write back with as much compassion and acceptance as you can

find creative ways to express the self-hatred, through writing songs or poetry, drawing, movement or singing

do physical exercise (like running or going to the gym) to express the anger that is turned in on yourself.

And finally and most importantly - whether it’s self-harm or anxiety, something that ALWAYS help is to talk to someone. The fact that someone else knows what you are going through and someone else is listening can really be helpful. So, if it gets tough in school or if you are getting the urge again, please please reach out to someone you can talk to - online or offline. There is no shame in getting help when you need it. I’m always here if you want to distract yourself by talking about malec or fics or anything else.

I wish someone had told me this. So, I'm gonna tell you now.

It’s just school. You’re gonna get through it.

#sending you all my love!#good luck and come talk to me if you need me!!!#support #back to school #tw self harm

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sebs-anxiety-and-insanity · 4 years

Text

TW: Implied self harm, implied suicide, c!thomas is a sad mess, cussing

Viewer discretion is advised

Here is the song by city and colour

youtube

The way it used to be/ ThVi (its sad)

-------------------------------------------------

This is the story of a man

Thomas sat on his couch, scrolling through Twitter, replying to mentions here and there, just sitting. He felt Virgil lay down on his lap, going seemingly limp against him. Thomas put down his phone to turn his attention to his boyfriend. "You good there, Virge?" He nodded, smiling. "Having anxiety is just exhausting." Thomas sighed. "Why didn't you come get me?" Virgil shook his head. "Didn't wanna bother you, and besides, it wasn't even that bad. Now I am here with you." He turned on his side wrapping his arms around Thomas's waist. Thomas sighed in content. He knew this would be the rest of his life and he was completely happy with it.

Who took for granted everything he had

"I- I'm sorry okay? Please calm down!" Virgil said harshly not wanting to scream anymore than Thomas already had. "NO! WHAT THE HELL?!!! YOU KNEW THAT WAS IMPORTANT TO ME!!! THAT COULD'VE BEEN MY BREAK!!" Virgil shrunk back a bit. "I- I know, but-but I can't help it! Its literally my job!" Thomas huffed. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ANXIETY!!!!" Virgil flinched. He called him anxiety instead of his name.... Right as Thomas began to opened his mouth again, Virgil teleported to his room, locking the door.

And how he let it all just slip away

From then on, Virgil didn't act the same, flinching away from touches, hardly speaking and never wanted to be touched really. And a few months after a few more fights and awkward encounters he finally came out of his room he only grabbed a book, one Thomas had never seen before, and left. Returning hours later to say quietly that it would never happen again. And he left. Thomas would've gone after him but he had to go somewhere, and he would always be here when he gets back. Waiting for him since there isn't no where else to go.

Never to return again

He arrived back home sad? He hadn't had any anxiety which was unusual since he was surrounded by a bunch of people, bombarding him with a bunch of questions. He decided now was the time to go check on Virgil, say he is sorry and figure out why everything seemed gloomy. He went into the mind palace, and even the living room which was a neutral space was sad, not as much as everything else but still sad. He walked up the stairs, immediately noticing the bright blue door that had dogs and cats with a couple of frogs, was deepened and cracked, similar things done to the other doors. He walked down closer to Virgil's room, when he heard sobbing. Panic seeping in he ran to Virgils room only to stop dead in his tracks. Patton was crying, and was being cradled by Logan. Janus was in tears on Virgils bed, cradling a piece of fabric. He looked in the bathroom and his blood ran cold. Roman had tears steaming down while harshly talking with Remus, who was in the same state. He couldn't make out what they were saying since they were not audible from where he was. And a single limp arm dangled from the bathtub, red streaks streaming down said arm. Rushing in Roman immediately tried to stop him from seeing, but it was too late. He already saw Virgils lifeless body in a bathtub of red from his bleeding wrists. Tears streaming down his face. He faught against Roman to get to his boyfriends lifeless body. Why did this happen?

Now twenty years have come and gone

"Yeah, well fuck you! You shouldn't still be mourning him! And even if you weren't you still can't pretend I am him!" Anxietys distorted voice rang throughout the room. Thomas flinched. It's been twenty fucking years and they still didnt know anxietys name. And he still looked like Virgil which didnt help shit. He looked up to notice that Anxiety had disappeared. He sighed sitting back down on the couch, head in his hands. god what happened?

And still he wonders what he did so wrong

The next week he stayed in his room, refusing to do anything. Yeah it was twenty years ago but seeing anxiety made it yesterday. He soon created a sick little world in his head, where Virgil never died. And they just broke up. But Thomas knew there was hope of getting Virgil to get back together.

And how that he can win back *his* heart

Anxiety was now scared to be anxiety. Patton always trying to be happy, but failing from time to time, but still always vowing to protect him from such awkward encounters with their host. Anxiety would walk down to get a snack and Thomas would have a date set up for the both of them. Always calling him 'Virgil' and ignoring him saying that he wasnt this 'Virgil' he kept speaking of. And even though he failed, Thomas would always try again. He just had to win Virgils heart back. Ignoring Logan who was trying to get him to stop this behavior.

And finally step outside of the dark

Thomas sniffed the Roses he had bought which was purple, contrary to Anxietys black clothing. Satisfied with the purchase he left, waving goodbye to the owner of the shop, who had remembered his name and a few things about him, since he was in there every day.

He buys fresh roses every day

He offered the flowers to Anxiety once again, who awkwardly pushed them away and teleported out of the situation. He felt horrible, only being known for the past him, and not- ... well, him! Who even said he liked roses.

His favorite flower- so he used to say

It was the middle of the night, and Thomas was sobbing into the covers. The only time he wasn't stuck in his fake world since he was on medication which often made him forget his fake world for the night. He was sobbing, going through various memories of Virgil wearing roses in his hair. He reached over to take another swig of liquor, the all too familiar taste calming him a bit. And anxiety had to watch, since he never slept.

And now the memories are all that he has left

His drinking got more prominent, and even Remus was worried, usually his sticking thoughts and jokes would be there no matter what, but he was drained and focused on his host, not knowing what to do, but watch as this got sickening, even for him. Anxiety was on the same page as Remus, just at a lower volume. But he was the one who had to watch it 24/7 and he couldnt bare to look at his host like this.

I'm afraid he'll drink himself to death

While Thomas kinda creeped him out, Anxiety still felt bad for him, and it was still his job to protect his host. He decided to tell Logan about the rising intake of alcohol each night, slowly turning into spiked coffee, and other things. He really needed to stop...

This is the story of a man

Patton set Anxiety down, preparing himself. "Hey kiddo... I know you know that Virgil, our previous anxiety and friend, has passed... away. But I don't think, we ever told you how.... And for you to fully understand why Thomas is the way he is now, you need to hear the story, and I'm forced to tell it as Roman and Logan have been losing their minds, you know because of Thomas pretending that Virgil is still alive..." tears gathered in his eyes as he continued, telling the story as best he could.

Who took for granted everything he had

Anxiety felt bad for his past self and everyone else... he completely understood what Virgil was going through. But hearing it from his father figure made it twice as hard to pretend to be unphased by the information. This is one sad and frustrating story...

And how he let it all slip away

Anxiety didn't know how to feel for his host, anger? Or pity? He really tried to understand what had happened, but the relationship between Virgil and his host was really confusing, how could it not be? Especially towards the end...

Never to return again

Tears were now forming in Anxietys eyes as it became harder to understand Patton who was sobbing. He had lost his 'son' after all... And Anxiety felt like he lost a brother.

It's clear he moved on long ago

Thomas spiraled even further as he realized that his efforts to get Virgil back with him were futile. And he hated it. He hated it so much. He took another sip of his spiked coffee. Hoping to calm his nerves however he could. But always no matter what, when his meds arent making him somewhat sober minded, he always goes back to believing that he could somehow still win Virgils heart...

But still he clings on to the distant hope

He never slept now, even before he got atleast two hours of sleep. But that didnt happen anymore.. Thomas just stared at the ceiling as flashes of them together played through his mind. They looked so happy... Virgil looked happy...

That he'll come back and make a happy home

Everyone was spiraling as Thomas did, but it took more time for some of them. And Anxiety couldn't help because that would hurt his host even more. Anxiety decided to stop watching his host at night. Staring at the ceiling. He felt utterly useless, and he hated it. He sighed sitting up, the TV turned off, so it was playing footage of what Thomas was doing, and unsurprisingly he was still drinking and crying softly...

And now its him and the bottle all alone

As he spiraled he seemed to remember that his world was fake. And this made him unpredictable, and the others were spiraling with him, anxiety was spiraling the slowest. Which forced him to be the one always watching him. Sometimes he would look over at the TV to check on him and see him under a cherry blossom tree that had a swing hang on it. It was there he seemed the most sane. And numb, which kinda made it terrifying.

Sometimes you'll see him in the yard

You could tell by just looking at him sitting in the swing he was broken. Tears falling slowly, smiling to himself while he mumbles things to himself, something about how beautiful the imagination was. Clutching what seemed to be a purple hoodie.

A wounded man with a desperate heart

It seemed to be all he ever was, anxiety sighed sadly watching as Thomas pulled weeds from purple roses in the imagination. It seemed to be more of a calming thing, but it was still sad to watch.

He kept his Roses (hedges) trimmed nice and neat

Janus was watching Thomas with anxiety one day. Sadly noting that Thomas had replaced the area around the cherry blossom tree to replicate the way it looked when they first got together.

To keep them the way that they used to be

Thomas sat there in the swing admiring his work.

This is the story of a man

He sighed swinging back and forth a bit.

Who took for granted everything he had

After that day he seemed to be getting better, going to see a doctor about his spiraling.

And he let it all just slip away

Thomas was in fact getting better. He had stopped drink as much as he did, but it was a work in progress, and he even got a bit more comfortable around anxiety.

Never to return again

Thomas hung up the purple hoodie on his bathroom door. Just... admiring it sadly.

A single dress hangs on it's own

He would often would often smell the hoodie, it still smelled like him...

A scent of perfume all he has to hold

He remembers fading to his final sleep that night, clinging to the hoodie...

A wasted life waiting on a dream

As he closed his eyes one final time he saw him and Virgil sitting on the swing. Having fun and talking, just enjoying the others presence.

Hoping for things the way they used to be

He was happy, finally. Gone from the world he knew as pain. And he smiled.

This is the story of a man, who took for granted everything he had. And how he let it all just slip away, never to return again...

-------------------------------------------------

Not really proofread so sorry for any mistakes!!!

But uh yeah hope you enjoyed!!

#sander sides #virgil sanders #Anxiety sanders #sandersides #c!thomas #song fic #sadness #Youtube

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ghost-btch · 5 years

Text

He Could Be The One~ 5 Seconds Of Summer

(Chapter One: Phoenix)

Prologue was posted right before this on my blog. I would link it but I'm scared it won't show up in the tags if I do.

Rating: literally for everyone lol

Warning: none besides the fact there may be grammatical errors, oops lol

Word Count: 1.6k

Author's note: You can read this also on wattpad, @/raineyC4. I may update quicker on there then here so go check it out on there aswell. This is my first Tumblr Fanfic so this is quite exciting, though I've been making stories on wattpad since 2016. Anyways enjoy the story!!

*******************************************

3rd Person P.O.V

The blue-eyed blonde singer stood right off stage. Her show would start in a few minutes. She was incredibly nervous, like always. She's done this for years but the anxiety is always there. But as clique as it sounds, every time she steps on stage that feeling fades away. She shook herself and prepared to walk on. Then before she knew it, it was her que to walk on.

The big screen on the back "wall" was flashing in black and white, then red "Phoenix". It glitching as it did so to the beat of the song.

That song was ...Ready For It? by Taylor Swift. Phoenix only had about 10 songs of her own out so she did a lot of covers.

"Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him..." Phoenix began to sing trying not to smile to create an effect.

As she sang she danced around the "T" shaped stage to the song. It seemed be choreographed but really she just made them up as she went. She was a true performer.

She wore a black body suite much like Taylor Swift wore during her preformce of the song. But it had more of shorts at the bottom. And it had a few red sparkles. Her hair was slightly curled and she wore crimson red lipstick. Her reddish boots went up to her knees.

When the song came to an end the next song, I Did Something Bad, started to play.

Phoenix loved to preform this song more then even her own songs. She had managed to learn Taylor Swift's original choreography to the song from watching the AMAs preformce over and over again. It was a dramatic performance and Phoenix loved it for that exact reason.

When she finished she was at the very end if the "T" stage in the middle. She laughed and smiled like an idiot looking over the crowd. And starring back at her where around what seemed a thousand people.

"Oh my God! I can't- I can't believe this is my life! Y'all have no idea how much I've dreamed and wished for the chance to do this. I love each and every one of y'all for being here. Whether you wanted to, weather you were bored and went to the nearest concert just because, or you were dragged here by someone else. Just thank you and I hope you guys like the show so far! You seem to be, but are you?" the crowd screamed, "Okay I'm gonna take that as a yes. Anyways she next song's called 'Don't Blame Me' and oh I'm Phoenix!" Phoenix said into the mic.

****

When the song finished she was back in the place she started. A trap "door" under her lowered her to under the stage. There she had to quickly change into the next costume while the ending music of "Don't Blame Me" played to the crowd.

While this happened a red piano was rolled out onto the stage. Phoenix walked out wearing a red sequined top with a red skirt that went to her knees.

She sat down on the little bench and started to play a few keys, "So this I wrote a while back when I was in middle school. I had this friend who I'd geek out with. Eventually I realized I liked him. After awhile I couldn't take it anymore and told him in a note that I practically threw at him out of nerves," she laughed at this, "Then after about a week he gave me a small piece of paper that read 'sorry I just want to be friends'. I was devastated of course, but I just hoped nothing would change. Oh how I was wrong. He never spoke to me again. Here's a song I wrote about a year later."

She proceeded to sing a song called "Let Things Go". It was written so long ago, and she was definitely, definitely, over the kid. But she every time she sang it she felt as if it was a new scar. 'Guess scars don't really ever go away?' She thought one day.

As soon as it finished she started to play another Taylor song, The Moment I Knew.

It of course started on the piano, but when it came to the chorus she stood up. And after the chorus she walked around the stage almost acting out the lyrics.

During the bridge Phoenix looked out into the crowd almost crying as the lyrics said it too.

As it finished ahead gave a soft smile. Just two years ago in her 20th birthday this song became so real for her. She wasn't quite over this scar yet.

She walked back to the piano and when she walked out from behind it she was no longer wearing the skirt, but now a pair of black shorts.

She then jumped up onto the piano and sat on it, her legs dangling off. The music of We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together started to play.

She began singing while still sitting until the "What?" part and acted out the song the rest of the song. Phoenix always had the most fun singing this song, it never got old. And by the end she was sat back on the piano.

"Liked that little costume changed?" Phoenix laughed as the crowd cheered.

She hoped off the piano, "So I was wondering if it was okay for me to do a little something different now? I won't be able to run around though, so there's a negative. But I really think you're gonna lie the positive! Just give me a second, I'll be right back."

She scampered off stage and when she walked back on she held a red guitar in her hands. She walked up to the microphone stand in the middle of the stage right before it extended out.

"So uhh, surprise!" Phoenix said into the mic smiling.

"So how about I play my guitar here for a few songs? I'll take that as a yes. So this first one is an old one. It's from an old Disney show called Hannah Montana. It was definitely my favorite TV show and this was one if my favorite songs. Never thought that eventually I'd laugh at a few lyrics because of someone. No I'm not saying who, though most of y'all probably already know. Anyways hears a song called 'He Could Be The One'!"

"Smooth talkin', so rockin'

He's got everything that a girl's wantin'

Guitar cutie, he plays it groovy

And I can't keep myself from doin' somethin' stupid..." she sang smiling at a few certain lyrics.

The girl completely jammed out to the song like there was no tomorrow. Running around in that one area when she wasn't singing. Yep definitely a performer.

"Well that was fun!" Phoenix laughed.

"Well I think it's time for one where I know y'all will have fun aswell." She said as she started to play "She's Kinda Hot" by 5 Seconds of Summer.

"Surprise!" She said right before singing.

But there was one thing that the girl had yet to find out. It was that, that very band stood only a few yards ahead of her.

The boys were just all hanging out in L.A. with nothing to do. Ashton suggest that they should just go to the nearest concert because why not? So they did. Now they stood towards the back kinda freaking out because someone was singing there song.

Then at the end of the song the music faded into "Babylon", another favorite of the blue-eyed singer.

The girl had so much fun playing this song and the audience loved it. Even the people who didn't know the original singers they still acted as if they did.

****

Phoenix changed into ripped back pants and a while shirt to sing the next few songs, all if which being her's.

Falling For You- a song revealed to be about fictional/celebrity crushes

Me- a song about her excepting who she really is

My Story- a song about her childhood and teenage years

We Don't Care About Anyone Else- a song she wrote about her friends and her, and the fact that they know they're weird but totally okay with that

After adding a leather jacket to the mix she also sang a song by Bea Miller called "We're Taking Over".

****

The last part of the concert was all the songs Phoenix felt was the funniest to sing/dance to.

Blank Space- making sure to point her tattoo of "Darling I'm A Nightmare, Dressed Like A Daydream" during that part.

New Romantics

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Then it came to almost a close:

"Well I'm sorry to say but this is the last song of the night. Thanks to all of you, you've made this a night to remember. And I hope that I was able to make you as happy as you've made me! This last song was my first single I put out. I've always been so proud of it and promised to sing it every show. It's about how my life was back in school, to what I'd hope my life would be, and now it really is. Oh and enjoy the original music video playing on the screen!" Phoenix smiled.

Phoenix danced around and sang like her life depended on it. She never wanted it to end. But unfortunately it did. When she finished she said "Thank you" once more and then ran around the perimeter of the stage to touch as may people's hands as she could. She did a bow and then waved with the biggest smile and went off stage.

~~~~

As the show came to a close the 5SOS boys decided to see if they could surprise the girl they just watch perform. But they had to figure out how to get back stage.

"We don't need another last time something like this happened." One said referring to a certain person.

"Hey!" was Ashton's response.

....

Tag list: @rip-lukes-balsamic @euphoric-swift //just comment if you'd like to be on my tag list//

A/N: try to guess who the person Phoenix likes hehe lol

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum 5sos #luke 5sos #ashton 5sos #michael 5sos #5sos stories #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos fandom #wattpad #luke hemmings #calum hood #ashton irwin #michael clifford

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c0co-cos · 6 years

Text

Blue's Highest Rank

I felt horrible because I wrote someone else a story, but I didn't write @nozapuns-nsfw a story. So i'd like to award this Fan Fic to them. I absolutely love their artwork, and I hope they continue to work of their 'Fractured comic'

I love how listening to a song can completely change my idea for this story. It was first gonna be a full story and all, but throughout downloading music on my phone for a trip im taking, I found a gem.

The gem was "Oh Cruel Darkness, Embrace Me" by IAMX

So basically that's the song you should listen to while reading this.

Summary: Blue Berry was the best of the best. He was quickly going up the ranks to become part of the Royal Guard. That changed when Blue was introduced to Alphys and Undyne.

Tags:

Chapter 1: Oh Cruel Darkness, Embrace Me

Blue Berry was quickly working up the ranks. He started on the lowest of the low. Then he met Alphys, and thank lord he did. He was training with her, Every. Single. Day. He didn't really have any prior interactions with Alphys, but out of luck, they bonded quickly and things got straight to the point.

He had liked his time spent with Alphys, there was never a dull moment, Also he never knew what he was going to do during training. It always changed. It went to dodging attacks one day, to making Tacos in her kitchen the next. There was always something new to learn.

Blue wasn't sure when he met Undyne, but he knew Papyrus was friends with her. Papyrus didn't really get out the house much to hang out with anyone. Only time he went out was when he planned to get black out drunk at Muffets, but other than that, he found Papyrus going to Undyne's lab at random times during the night. He must have had a good reason to get up and go though. It wouldn't have been for nothing.

To Blues surprise, Papyrus actually knew Alphys. They had been friends before Undyne met Alphys. It always amazed Blue how almost everyone knew everyone in the underground.

Id it wasn't for Papyrus, he wouldn't know half the people he knows now. Papyrus was amazing. If it wasnt for him, Blue wouldn't have a room to sleep in nor have supplies to make food, even though Papyrus was mostly a lazy bum, he was Blue's lazy bum brother.

"Hey Alphys! Im here for today's training!" Blue couldn't wait for today's training, Alphys had something new in store, and laster on, Papy was going to come over and view their hard work.

Alphys jumped at the sudden loud voice coming outside her house. She had invited Blue earlier than usual, it wasn't something new shes done, but today she had a reason, and pulling it off wasn't going to be easy.

"Woah Blue, you scared me! Come on in, I gotta prepare the rest of the supplies."

Blue had already let himself in with the Key she leaves under the door mat.

"Wow Alphys, this place looks better and better each time we cook! With that being said, what are we making today? More tacos?"

"No, something better. Lets look at the menu."

Blue grabbed the piece of paper with the big letters on it spelling out 'MENU'. It had also been something Alphys did to tease Blue right before they started cooking. It was always Tacos, but he kept up the running gag, just for the giggles of it.

He unfolded it, revealing what they were going to make today. He eyes shrunk with fear.

"Today were making you.... Alphys this isnt funny you know!"

He saw Alphys out of the corner of his eye, he could see bright yellow magic coming off from her magically formed weapon. She loved using an axe. He quickly moved out the way, also using his bone attack to dodge it. He moved just in time, any second later, he would have been dust.

"Ha, nice Blue! You're getting better and quicker with each attack I throw your way. Sorry about my lil joke there, had to do something to get you distracted."

Blue's heart was pounding out of his chest. He knew at one point furing todays training, this would happen. Alphys said she does this to make him become aware of his surrounding at all times, but it still scared him shitless. Alphys could tell that Blue was very shook.

"Oh gosh, im sorry Blue. I should have done it while we were actually cooking. I won't do it again, I swear, just sit down at the table and ill make you some tea."

Blue dis just that. It was great to know Alphys didn't mean any harm, she never does. It was just a small scare, nothing else right?

"Here your tea Blue, again im sorry I did that. I wrote it for the fuck of it, then the idea came to mind where i can do the daily 'scare blue' skit, but it back fired. I truly am sorry Blue."

"No worries Alph. I know its a joke, I just need to stop being a big cry baby about it. Also thanks for the tea. But it's um.. Kinda sweeter than usual. What happened to 'my soul is black so my coffee and tea have to be the same'?"

"Oh actually its a different type of tea. Undyne gave it to me to try, and right now i can try it. But Blue, lets actually talk about the Guard. You kno--"

Blue couldn't think straight. He felt as if his whole world was spinning. He didn't like it, not one bit. Was it because of how scared he got earlier? Was he having a panic attack? He wouldn't know. He never had one before.

"Hey Alph. Im sorry but i think I got to cut th-this short. Sorry, it was uhh fun?" Blue was breaking a sweat by now. Maybe he was actually having a panic attack? Also what would he do about ? Papyrus wasn't home yet, and the way he was feeling, he wasn't getting home like this.

Blue looked up at Alphys. Her straight face had been completely gone, covered with a huge grin, starting from one side of her face to the other side. Blue was expecting her to look more freaked out like she had been when she had accidentally hurt him during training, but she stood absolutely still, giving Blue a horrid feeling.

"Oh please blue, what's wrong? Here, if you insist on leaving, let me carry you out the door." she said while walking towards his area. Blue was too freaked out by her fake response. It had seemed practiced, meaning she knew something he didn't.

Blue hesitated, backing away slowly from her, before bolting to the door. Even with how he was feeling, he could sense the danger. He didn't even make it anywhere close to the door, falling down after taking a couple of steps towards the direction. He couldn't move, and felt horribly tired.

For good measures, Alphys pinned him to the floor, magical axes surrounding him and the exit, if he planned to leave.

"Alphys? Why? What and why are you d-doing this? I'm sc-scared. Please, if I did anything to hurt you, l-l-let me know. I'll fix it just plea--" Blue had been cut off after he felt Alphys step on his ribcage. It hurt like hell, but he could take it.

"Honestly Sans, I'm sick and tired of you. Im doing this for myself, im just the message man at the point. But other than that, I can't stand you. Did you really think you, out of ALL monsters in the underground, you would be the same rank as me? There are kids, younger than you who have an actual chance of being in the Royal Guard. Sorry blue, you wont get the rank you want. But hopefully, this rank suits you and your lazy ass brother."

By this time, Blue had been trying to pull her leg off his ribcage. She was close to breaking it, and he would rather have a ribcage than none at all.

"OKAY OKAY OKAY G-GET YOUR LEG OFF!" Blue was struggling at this point. She was going to break it. He didn't want to die by getting stepped on, he was going to die in battle protecting everyone in the underground.

Alphys showed mercy, slowly lifting her leg off of his ribcage.

"This is how it's going to work okay Blue? I'm going to knock you out, don't worry, the most that would happen is you get a bruise, and I'll call Papy. You'll find everything out later. Goodnight Blue! Don't let the bed bugs bit."

Alphys couldn't really be doing this... It was a dream. He had to be. She would never harm him. At this point, hopefully Alphys knocking him out will cause him to wake up from this Nightmare.

Alphys came up to Blue, fist closed, ready to come in contact with his skull. It wasn't long before Blue actually knocked out.

Lucky for Alphys, the tea did most of the work, all she had to do was get him asleep. All she had to do now was call Papyrus and get him to teleport over to Undyne's lab.

Talking to people over the phone wasn't the easiest thing to do for her, but hey. She lied to Blue for most of tome they've known each other, so it shouldn't be harder over the phone.

"Pa-Papyrus? Oh thank god! Please come over quick! Its ! H-He fell and hit his head on the table! Come quick!"

Lucky for her, She didn't really have to give much detail regarding where she lived. Sometimes Papyrus would walk Blue home after practice, so he knew the way here. In seconds, a 'pop' noise came from inside her restroom.

"where is blue? oh my gosh... what happened?"

"I- I don't know! We were about to make Tacos, and he fell! Please take us to Undyne's lab, Im certain she knows what to do! S-she'll help!"

Papyrus didn't even have to think twice, he picked blue from off the floor, and teleported right into the lab.

Undyne was no where to been seen, and as the looks of it, so was Alphys. That's strange. Alphys was right next to him as he teleported.

"UNDYNE. NOW." Papyrus heard Alphys scream.He couldn't even turn his head before he passed out from whatever they did to him.

Him and blue were up for it when they woke up.

The story is also on my AO3, at @/sintaley if you would like to read it there :)

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asroarke · 6 years

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Hey Alex. Your fics completely cheer up whenever I'm in a depressive state. I've read them all so many times. They're incredible. Unfortunately, my boyfriend broke up with me a month ago I guess hes an ex now and I'm confused and broken and Ive been listening non stop to ed sheeran's song "Happier". I was wondering if you could write post break up bellarke fic based kinda on the song, but with a happy ending from bellamys pov? I need a pick me up and a little bit of hope in my life tbh..

I’m really sorry to hear about your break up! That’s rough. Also, side note, that song made me cry. I had never heard it before. So, the happy ending is kind of ambiguous in this fic, but I fully intended for you to assume that the last conversation goes well and they end up back together. I hope you like it! It ended up being more angsty than I had originally planned. [ao3]

He wasn’t planning on stopping by Octavia’s party, using thefact that he was working late as his excuse. But when Pike announced thatBellamy could clock out early, he knew that he had to at least swing by. IfOctavia found out that his schedule opened up and he didn’t stop by, he’d neverhear the end of it.

It wasn’t like Clarke ever stayed at parties long, anyway.He probably wouldn’t even see her. She likely left an hour ago, since she was probablytoo tired from a shift at the hospital or had one early tomorrow morning. So,he took a few deep breaths before heading over to his sister’s apartment.

The party was still raging on when he walked through the door,and Miller immediately put a beer in his hand. “How have you been?” he asked,and Bellamy just shrugged. Miller looked over at Jackson, and Bellamy didn’tmiss the concerned look they exchanged. Yeah, they were worried about him, buthe was fine.

“There you are!” Octavia shouted before he heard the soundof her loud feet rushing toward him. He turned to be ready for her hug, chucklingquietly at her excitement to see him. “Isn’t this a fun party? You’re so happyyou came, right?” she asked, her words slurring together, and he had to fightnot to roll his eyes. She was drunk.

“Yes,” he replied, patting her on the head as he surveyedthe room. No sign of Clarke, thank God. He wouldn’t know what he would say toher if he saw her again. It was inevitable that he would, so he probably shouldfigure something out. But he needed more time to get over the sting of losingher.

He plastered on a smile as Octavia dragged him through theapartment by his hand and introduced him to all her work friends he hadn’t metyet. She ditched him to go whine to Lincoln about something, and Bellamysettled in next to Murphy as he downed the last of his beer. He looked over hisshoulder into the kitchen, spotting those fake margarita beer drinks that Octaviahad recently gotten upset with and let out a sigh. “The good stuff is out onthe patio,” Murphy explained, and he let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank God,” he muttered before making his way out there.

He probably should have known that there would be one or twopartygoers who would be out there. It’s the only quiet place to be at anOctavia Blake party. Bellamy had ducked out here enough times to know that.

But nothing could have prepared him for finding Clarke andRoan out there together.

He freezes for a moment at the sight of Clarke curledup against him with her legs in his lap. It took him a moment to realize thatshe was asleep, and he probably would have laughed at the fact that ClarkeGriffin fell asleep at yet another party if it weren’t for the fact that shewas literally sleeping on Roan.

He clenched his jaw as he fished out a beer from the cooler.He shouldn’t actually be surprised. He and Clarke broke up. She was going tostart seeing other people. He couldn’t have pushed her away any harder, if hewas being honest with himself. But Bellamy had somehow put the prospect ofClarke moving on out of his thoughts, meaning he was blindsided by this.

“Oh hey, man,” Roan said, tearing his eyes away from hisphone to nod at Bellamy. Bellamy nodded back, grinding his teeth together as hedid. Without a word, he walked back into the apartment and took a seat at theempty kitchen table, one of the few spots in the room that gave him a decentview of what was happening on the patio. Maybe he just wanted to torturehimself, but he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off the two of them as Roan’shand traced up and down Clarke’s back.

“Didn’t you start this whole thing?” Jasper asked as he saton the table, swinging his legs back and forth so that he occasionally hitBellamy.

“Yes,” he huffed, and Clarke started to stir outside. Sherubbed her eyes as she pushed herself up, and Roan put his phone down to saysomething that caused Clarke to erupt into laughter. His chest panged as he sawher bright smile. He couldn’t even remember the last time he saw her smile likethat.

“So, why are you acting like she broke up with you?” Jaspermuttered, and Bellamy took his eyes off Clarke for a moment to glare up at him.

“Jasper, I’m not in the mood,” he snapped. When his eyesreturned to the window, Roan and Clarke had stood up and were facing away fromhim. Both her hands were braced on the railing in front of her, but Roan wasstill rubbing her back.

The fact that it was Roan shouldn’t have surprised Bellamy.He had always had the suspicion that Roan was attracted to Clarke, and it wasn’tlike he could blame Clarke for becoming interested in him once she becamesingle. He was an attractive guy, one that her mother would definitely approveof. He’d probably fit more into Clarke’s world than Bellamy ever did.

Jasper was still mumbling something when Bellamy pushed awayfrom the table. He wasn’t going to sit there all night watching theex-girlfriend he was still in love with flirt with Roan, so he ducked into thekitchen, which was empty. He hopped up onto the counter and let out a breath.

He tried to distract his mind, but the image of themtogether kept popping up in his head again. Bellamy could see them together soclearly, now. Roan didn’t pick fights with Clarke like Bellamy did, no, he wasfar more relaxed and easygoing. He was also not the kind of guy to screw aroundwhen it came to talking about how he felt. Clarke must love that since shedoesn’t have to guess what Bellamy’s thinking anymore or deal with his freakouts when things got a little too serious. She found herself someone who wouldbe upfront with her, and it’s what she deserves.

He pressed his lips together as he heard the patio doorswing open. “Jasper, are you ready for more shots?” he heard Roan tease, andBellamy threw his head back. God, Roan was even more fun around Bellamy’sfriends. “Clarke?”

“Oh, God no,” Clarke giggled, and it was such a sweet, happysound… and why wouldn’t it be? Clarke seemed to be happy, probably happier thanshe had been with Bellamy. There was a quiet mumbling out there as Bellamyheard Jasper skip after Roan. “What?” he heard Clarke say, and he hit his headagainst the cabinet behind him.

He fucked up. God, he fucked up. He was falling too hard andfast for her and got scared. Everything with Clarke felt so natural and normal,and it scared him how easily he could get comfortable with her, especiallygiven how things went with Echo and Gina in the past.

All he could remember was how much he hurt before, and hisstupid, stupid self did what healways did: pushed her away before she could push him away. And now she was gone.He couldn’t blame anyone but himself for the way he picked that fight.

He was taking another swig of his drink when Clarke strodeinto the kitchen, freezing as soon as she saw him. Her brows furrowed as shegave him a once over, and his heart pounded as he waited for her to saysomething.

“Octavia said you had to work tonight,” she finally settledon, and he fought not to roll his eyes at the fact that the two of them couldonly seem to make small talk now.

“My shift ended early, so I stopped by,” he shrugged, andshe nodded along. Her brows were still furrowed, and he could tell that she hadsomething to say to him. But of course, his jealousy was still festering underthe surface and he said, “You seemed to have a good nap outside.”

Her eyes widened at him, and he immediately regretted it.She was free to do whatever the hell she wants, after all. He shouldn’t try tomake her feel bad for moving on. But of course, he always said the wrong thingat every given opportunity.

“It was a long day,” she settled on, and he nodded along, keepinghis eyes fixed on the almost empty beer in his hand. “Actually, I was just aboutto leave. I should go find your sister before I go,” she muttered beforeturning to leave, and Bellamy hit his head on the cabinet again, cursinghimself for pushing her away again.

He listened as Clarke gave her goodbyes to their friends. Montysaid something to make her laugh, and he found a smile tugging at his lips whenhe heard that beautiful sound. She talked with Harper, he thinks, for a minute…and the ease with which she speaks to everyone causes his chest to pang. Sheused to be able to talk to him that way.

Maybe he should find a way to be happy for her. After all,she seemed happier now with Roan. And Clarke deserved to be happy. He wantedher to be so happy.

When the front door shut, he let out a breath. He survivedseeing Clarke tonight, barely. The panging in his chest probably wouldn’t goaway any time soon, though he wasn’t sure if it ever left.

He was coming up with excuses to leave the party too whenRoan came into the kitchen. “What’s wrong with you?” Roan snorted.

“Nothing,” Bellamy lied.

“So, it has nothing to do with the fact that you saw me withyour ex?” he asked, raising his eyebrows as he filled a cup with ice.

“Clarke can date whoever she wants,” he replied.

“I’m not dating Clarke,” Roan corrected, and Bellamy hatedhow easy his own face gave his reaction away. Roan smirked at him, pleased thathe had finally broken Bellamy out of his fake indifference. “I don’t make ahabit of dating girls who are still in love with their exes.”

“Clarke isn’t—”

“She is,” he interrupted. “It’s annoying, honestly. Fulloffense intended, you were a dick to her in the end.”

“I know,” he huffed, throwing his head back. He didn’t needthis lecture from Roan when he had been giving it to himself all night. “It’show I know she isn’t still hung up on me.”

“Interesting,” Roan muttered as he walked back toward thedoor, “then, why is she still in the parking lot, crying in her car?” Bellamy’shead snapped up to look at Roan, whose eyebrows were raised at him as he lookedover his shoulder. “Don’t fuck it up this time,” he huffed before walking backout to the party. Bellamy jumped to his feet, abandoning his beer on thecountertop before striding toward the front door. He didn’t bother tellinganyone where he went. Everyone was too drunk to notice he was gone, anyway.

When he got down to the parking lot, he found Clarke’s carin the very back. He jogged toward her car, and as he got closer, he could seeher talking on the phone as she wiped a few tears from her cheek. He felt sickat the realization that he was the reason she was crying. He never wanted tohurt her. After all, he loved her… probably a little too much. He was justscared.

Clarke’s eyes widened when she spotted him, and she said goodbyeto whoever she had been talking to. He stood still as she pushed herself out ofthe car, her brows furrowing in confusion as she looked up at him again. “Whatare you—”

“I miss you,” he interrupted, and her eyes softened. “I’msorry. I know I don’t get to just… Fuck,” he mumbled. He hadn’t thought throughwhat he would say to her at all. He hadn’t been thinking when he rushed downafter her. All he heard was that she was upset because of him, and he couldn’t stayaway.

“I miss you too,” she said before he could stutter anythingelse out. Her blue eyes were staring back at him, still a bit red from crying.All he wanted to do was close the distance between them and pull her to hischest.

“Can we talk?” he asked, and she bit down on her lip. Herchest was rising and falling slowly as she took a few deep breaths.

It felt like hours had passed before she whispered, “Yeah.”

A flicker of hope scorched through him as the two of them satdown on the curb. He was going to tell her everything that he didn’t saybefore. He was going to make it right. And maybe, just maybe, she’d let him tryto make her happy again.

#asks #bellarke fanfiction #prompt fill #alex does prompts sometimes #modern au #exes to lovers #exes #past relationship #break ups #angst #pining #mutual pining #bellamy pov #the 100 fanfiction #asroarke fanfiction

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