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#but that would mean that Dean isn't straight

agapayy · 5 months

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Okay so Supernatural season 16 is either the cure that will fix a whole generation of queer traumatized people or the knife that will stab us again and again on the exact same injury

#i kinda feel like we're putting too much hope in it though #i mean destiel canon ?#but that would mean that Dean isn't straight #naaaaaa #supernatural #spn #supernatural season 16 #fuck cw

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fatecantstopme · 3 months

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What I'd Give

Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader

Summary: When Dean is gravely injured on a hunt, (Y/N) makes a deal to save him--a deal that might just cost her everything.

Warnings: canon violence, swearing, mentions of death/dying. SMUT, dom/sub vibes, choking kink, overstimulation, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V)

You screamed helplessly as you watched your best friend and fellow hunter be thrown from the window across the room. You'd just managed to stab the demon you were fighting a mere second before you heard the breaking of glass.

You yanked the angel blade out of the demon's chest and ran straight towards the demon who'd just tossed your friend out the window. You stabbed the demon in the back, bringing an end to the fight.

You looked out the window and saw the horrific scene three stories down. Your heart clenched in your chest as you raced to the stairs, making it outside in record time.

"Dean!" you cried as you reached his broken body. "No, no, no, no..."

You were almost afraid to touch him--afraid to search for a pulse and not find one. You exhaled sharply and pulled yourself together, placing a firm hand against his neck. You could feel a very weak pulse beneath your fingertips and you knew he was in trouble.

The fall had certainly broken some bones and he likely had internal injuries of some kind. The glass from the window had sliced his skin in a million places, and you were worried he would have severe head trauma as well.

Normally, you would call out to Castiel and he would come running to save Dean, but this wasn't a normal day. Cas had been missing in action for weeks, and neither you nor the Winchesters knew where he was.

Dean's safety--his survival--depended solely on you. The two of you had been hunting alone, while Sam was out helping Garth on a different hunt. You'd hunted together countless times, but neither of you had ever been this seriously injured.

You knew he was dying--as surely as if there was a neon sign screaming "death!" above his head. You couldn't stand the thought of losing him, so you made a decision that would change your life.

"Anyone who's listening, I need your help," you called out. "Please...I will do anything...just save him."

You waited in silence for a few moments, hoping against hope someone would hear your call and take pity on you. You weren't exactly on good terms with most angels, but you couldn't help but hope at least one of them would care.

You heard the soft flap of wings that always signaled the arrival of an angel and you looked up hopefully. You inhaled sharply when your eyes met the glowing red eyes of the man who had come to rescue you--or should you say, archangel.

"Well hello, (Y/N). It's nice to see you again."

"Lucifer," you hissed lowly.

"In the flesh!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard your call," he said simply. "And well, let's be honest, no one else is coming to help you."

"Did you come here to gloat?"

"Of course not. Even I'm not cruel enough to find joy in the death of Dean Winchester."

"Then why did you come?"

"To save him, obviously."

Surprise lit up your face. Out of all the responses you'd expected, that hadn't been on the list. "Pardon?"

Lucifer smiled darkly. "For a small fee, of course."

"Ahh," you acknowledged. "That sounds more like it. What do you want?"

"Nothing too extravagant."

"Lucifer..." you growled.

"As you can see, this vessel isn't doing so well." He gestured to himself and you had to admit, he looked like absolute shit. "In fact, it's dying...which means I'm in need of a new one."

"Absolutely not," you said instantly. "He would never say yes to you."

Lucifer smirked. "I wasn't referring to him."

Your eyes widened. "I'm not an archangel vessel," you whispered.

"No, but you are a vessel. And I think you're strong enough to contain me long enough to find me a better one."

You swallowed thickly. There was no way you were going to agree to this...you knew what being an archangel's vessel would do to you and you weren't exactly interested in being strapped to a nuclear bomb.

"No," you said firmly.

"Suit yourself," he said with a shrug. "But just remember, Dean's death will be on your hands now."

You exhaled in defeat as you looked down at the man in your arms. You knew he was close to death--no hospital would be able to save him. Lucifer was your only option.

"Save him first," you whispered.

Lucifer smirked, knowing he'd won. "I would, (Y/N), but this vessel is simply too weak. I would need your body in order to save him."

You looked up into his dark eyes and considered his words. "I don't trust you."

"You would be a fool to trust me after all we've been through. However, I need you...and I need Dean alive and well to help me find an archangel vessel. Possessing you is a good motivator for him."

You clenched your jaw as you thought about your options. It took you mere moments to realize you didn't have any. You would rather die than allow Dean to...so your decision was made in an instant.

"Fine," you murmured softly. You looked up at the monster standing before you and exhaled slowly. "Yes," you breathed.

Lucifer wasted no time--immediately exiting his vessel and entering your body, taking over in an instant.

It was painful, feeling his energy within you, and you knew with absolute certainty you wouldn't be surviving this--no way in hell.

To your surprise, you were fully aware of everything happening around you. You could still see and hear--but you had no control over your body in any way.

Lucifer--you--reached out to Dean and touched him. Your palms began to glow and you watched the various wounds on his body heal quickly. His bright green eyes slowly blinked open and he looked up at you in surprise and confusion.

"What happened?" he groaned.

"You got tossed out a window," your voice said, though it was not you speaking.

Dean sat up and rubbed at his head. He looked down at himself, clearly surprised by his lack of serious injuries. "I fell three stories down..."

You nodded.

"How am I not dead?"

You felt your lips curl into a smile--a slightly cruel smile you knew was not your own. "You're welcome."

Dean's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What?"

Unbeknownst to you, your eyes began to glow red, alerting Dean to the presence of someone else in your body--and there was only one creature you knew whose eyes glowed red.

"Lucifer?" Dean yelled angrily.

"The one and only," he replied.

"How the hell...why are you...where's (Y/N)?"

"Oh she's right here," he said with a smile, tapping the side of your head. "Watching and listening like a little creep."

"Well it is my head, you asshole," you mumbled.

"Doesn't mean it's not creepy," Lucifer's voice hissed inside your mind.

You didn't like the idea that Lucifer could hear your thoughts and speak to you like that...and it made you wonder what else he could see within your mind.

"Everything," he teased darkly.

"Fuck."

"Get the hell out of her body," Dean growled.

"Not a chance, buck-o. (Y/N) was kind enough to invite me in, so I think I'll stay a while."

Dean pulled an angel blade out of his back pocket and pointed it at you. You knew he would never use it if it meant killing you too. It was an idle threat and Lucifer knew it.

Lucifer simply laughed. "You're not going to use that, so put it away."

"Get out of her and I won't have to."

"Oh please, you won't kill her."

Dean's expression remained impassive, but you could see his resolve waning. You knew him too well to miss the small tells. Unfortunately, that meant Lucifer knew him just as well.

"Let's make this easy on ourselves," he began. "Everything (Y/N) knows, I know. Every memory, every thought, every feeling, everything. So put the damn blade down before I have to break your arm."

You could see the anger on Dean's face, but he lowered the blade and slipped it back inside his jacket. "Why the hell did she invite you in?"

"You were about 5 minutes from death and she couldn't save you."

"So what, she called out to you?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"She called out to everyone...I'm just the only one who responded." You felt your eyes glance around in slight concern. "Speaking of, we should probably get out of here, just in case."

Dean nodded and lead the way to the Impala, which was parked a short distance away. You got into the passenger seat like usual and you saw Dean tense up at your proximity. He clearly didn't like the idea of the Devil riding shotgun.

"So why did you heal me?"

"I need your help," Lucifer admitted.

"What makes you think I'd ever help you?"

"I knew you wouldn't, which is why I convinced (Y/N) to let me have her body for a little while."

"Convinced?"

"I may have told her a little white lie--that my old vessel was too weak for me to save you. She didn't exactly offer herself up, but she didn't fight very hard when she realized I was her only option."

"You slimy son of a bitch," you growled.

"I'm the devil, (Y/N). What did you expect?"

"You son of a bitch," Dean mumbled, echoing your sentiments. "What exactly do you want from me?"

"I need to find an actual archangel vessel. I'm getting tired of jumping from vessel to vessel...they keep burning out. It's rather tiresome."

"Well you're not touching Sam, or me for that matter."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he insisted. "I know there are others out there, but I need someone with your connections to help me locate one."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "My connections?"

"Well, Bobby Singer's connections, really...but the best way to him is through you, and the best way to you is through her."

Dean exhaled angrily. You knew he was mad at you just as much as he was mad at Lucifer. You were surprised he hadn't given you an earful yet, even with Lucifer listening in.

"Fine," Dean grumbled. "But the moment we find you a vessel, I want you out of her body. Do you understand me?"

"Perfectly," Lucifer answered.

"Now just sit there quietly until we get to Bobby's, understand? I want absolute silence."

"Well that's boring--"

"I can't stand hearing you speak with her voice, okay? So shut up."

Lucifer smirked, but fell silent, deciding instead to annoy you.

"He's mad at you, isn't he?"

"I said yes to you...of course he's mad."

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"How you feel about him?"

"I would really like you to shut the hell up now, Lucifer," you hissed.

"But I'm so bored," he whined.

"I don't give a damn and neither does Dean. It's about 2 hours to Bobby's place...can you be silent for 2 hours?"

"Fine," he grumbled. "It'll give me more time to dig around in your brain anyway..."

"Shit--no!"

You tried to shut him out of your mind as best as you could, but you could still feel him rooting around in your head...making himself at home and digging into memories and thoughts and feelings that were never meant to be shared with another soul.

**********

"What an unsightly place," Lucifer grumbled as he--you--followed Dean up the stairs to Bobby's door.

Dean shot an annoyed glare in your direction, but didn't comment.

"Bobby!" he called as he entered the house.

Bobby came into view and offered you both a tired smile. "Hey you two. What brings you to Sioux Falls?"

"We were close by on a hunt and now we need your help," Dean answered.

"Sure. Come on in."

Neither you, nor Lucifer, had said a word of greeting to Bobby, which struck the older man as odd.

"You alright, (Y/N)?"

"Oh I'm just peachy," your voice answered.

Bobby's eyes narrowed at you, immediately noticing your voice was off. Besides, you didn't tend to talk to Bobby like that.

Before Bobby could question you, Dean spoke up. "We need to find an archangel vessel...as fast as possible."

Bobby stared at him for a moment. "Dean, you are an archangel vessel."

"Yeah, well I need one to house the devil--and it ain't gonna be me or Sam."

"Why the hell do you need a vessel for Lucifer?"

Your hand reached out and tapped Bobby on the shoulder. Judging by Bobby's shocked expression, you assumed your eyes were once again glowing red. Bobby quickly took a step back, looking between you and Dean in confusion.

"It's a long story," Dean muttered. "But I don't want him riding shotgun in (Y/N)'s head any longer than necessary, so we need to find him another vessel."

"Preferably before this current one starts to rot from the inside out," Lucifer added.

"Seriously, Lucifer?"

"Well that is essentially what happens, you know. I wouldn't want to damage such a pretty face."

"Oh fuck off," you grumbled.

"Why in god's name would she say yes to you?" Bobby asked angrily.

"To save my life, okay?" Dean snapped. "Look--we don't have time for this. I need your help to find another vessel. Please."

Bobby sighed and crossed the room to his desk, which was covered in books and papers--an organizational system only Bobby understood. He eyed you warily, but he didn't comment on the situation further.

"I assume you know how to find an archangel vessel," Lucifer commented.

"Perhaps you could enlighten me," Bobby responded.

Lucifer sighed and began to tell Bobby what he needed to look for. You ignored the words coming from our own mouth, instead focusing on Dean. You could see how upset he was and it made you feel incredibly foolish. You hated seeing him like this, but you didn't regret your decision. The mere fact he was alive to be angry made this whole thing worth it.

"How long do you think it'll take?" Dean asked, interrupting your thoughts.

"A week or two--maybe a little more," Bobby answered.

Dean looked in your direction, eyeing you with concern. "Will (Y/N) last that long?"

"Might wanna keep it closer to two weeks," Lucifer replied.

"You're lying, aren't you?" you asked quietly.

"Do you want me to tell them the truth?"

You sighed internally. "I think Dean deserves to know."

"A week would be even better," Lucifer said aloud.

Dean stared at you, worry deepening the lines on his face. His gaze traced your face, searching for any signs of deception--or maybe signs of damage.

"Well then," Bobby muttered. "Better get started."

**********

You sat in the corner, feet up on another chair as you watched Dean and Bobby. You could tell both of them were extremely worried, but their focus was on finding another vessel. They didn't have time to dive into their fears for your life.

Lucifer, on the other hand, seemed to think he had all the time in the world. He was quite happy to torture you instead of providing the two hunters with any assistance.

"Why haven't you told Dean?" he asked for what had to be the 1,000th time.

"There's nothing to tell, Lucifer. Would you just back off?"

"You're really no fun, you know that?"

"Good. This isn't supposed to be fun for you."

"I can make it fun."

"I'd really rather you not."

"Too late!" he said gleefully.

You could feel him poking around inside your head again, searching for something he could use to hurt you with--or hurt Dean with. You tried to keep him away from your darkest secrets, from the things you'd never shared with another soul, not even Dean. But you noticed it was getting harder and harder to resist him. You weren't sure if it was because he was so strong or if you were becoming weaker. Either way, it was only a matter of time before Lucifer found something he shouldn't.

Unfortunately for you, that moment came much sooner than you'd anticipated.

"(Y/N)--fuck, I mean Lucifer...can I talk to you outside for a moment?" Dean asked suddenly, rising from his chair and heading outside without waiting for a reply.

"Well this should be fun," you mumbled internally.

"I assure you," Lucifer mocked. "It will be."

You felt your body moving, feet heading after Dean whether you wanted to or not.

Once outside, Dean turned to face you, eyes filled with a multitude of emotions you couldn't stand to see. "I want to talk to (Y/N)."

"Oh come now," Lucifer said. "You know that's not how it works."

"I know you can shut up and take a backseat. So that's what I want."

"Hmm..." Lucifer hummed thoughtfully. "You know, I'd rather not. Besides, (Y/N) doesn't really feel like talking to you right now."

"Fuck you, Lucifer. Let me talk to him!"

"Sorry, sweetheart. Ain't happening."

"Somehow I doubt that," Dean grumbled angrily.

"You can doubt it all you want, but I'm the one physically inside her head. I know what she's thinking and let me tell you, it's not very complimentary of you."

"What?" Dean asked in surprised confusion.

"You have no idea what she really thinks of you, do you?"

"Lucifer, what the hell are you doing?" you growled.

He ignored you, instead focusing on his conversation with Dean.

"She's my best friend," Dean responded. "What more do I need to know?"

Lucifer laughed cruelly. "I'm sorry, that's just too funny. You think she's your best friend?"

You could see the look of hurt cross Dean's face for a moment, but he quickly covered it up.

"Sorry," Lucifer said, laughter subsiding. "It's just hilarious that you think she cares about you that much."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"She's tired of you, Dean. She's tired of your stubbornness, your self-loathing, your reckless behavior. She's tired of everything to do with you. She doesn't care about you--not really, anyway. You annoy the shit out of her, but she puts up with you because she feels like she has to."

You fought with everything you had to overpower Lucifer and take control of your mind and body. Not a single word Lucifer was uttering was true and you desperately wanted to tell Dean the truth.

"Stop fighting, (Y/N). You can't win," Lucifer whispered.

"Stop lying to him and I'll stop fighting," you insisted.

"No. I'm simply having too much fun."

Dean's face was impassive to the average person, but you saw through the mask on his face, and so did Lucifer. "I don't believe you," Dean said softly.

"You don't have to believe me. They're not my words. I'm simply relaying (Y/N)'s thoughts," Lucifer said with a shrug. "Haven't you ever wondered how she puts up with all your shit? You're not exactly walking sunshine, Dean. You're one of the most damaged humans I've ever met."

Dean inhaled deeply. "If she hates me so much, why does she stay?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Neither you nor Dean knew what Lucifer was going to say next...and his words cut deeper than you'd expected them to.

"She's in love with your brother," Lucifer sneered.

"Lucifer, no!" you screamed.

Dean's eyes widened and shock settled onto his face. He turned around, his back to you in an attempt to collect himself.

You fought even harder...you needed to get this son of a bitch out of your body. It felt like you were locked inside your own mind with no way out. Lucifer was too strong and the harder you fought, the weaker you became. You quickly realized the more energy you expended, the stronger he became...there was no use in fighting him.

"You're a monster," you whispered.

"They call me the devil for a reason.'"

You didn't bother responding to him. Your heart was aching for Dean and all you wanted was to comfort him. You knew exactly where his head would be at right now and it was killing you.

He'd always compared himself to Sam--at least as long as you'd known him. He seemed to think Sam was better than him in a lot of ways and certainly more lovable. The mere idea that you agreed with that sentiment...that you loved Sam...it would break him and you knew it.

"Sam is better than you in every way," Lucifer added, stoking the fire. "Why would anyone love you when they could have Sam? He's everything you're not...sure of himself, confident, open and honest. Sam is better for (Y/N) than you could ever be."

Dean turned back around, face a mask of impassiveness once again. "Let's find you a vessel so you can get the hell out of our lives," he said in a low voice. "Besides, I wouldn't want to get in the way of Sam and (Y/N)'s love."

If you'd been capable of crying, you knew the tears would be streaming down your face in that moment. Your heart ached in a way you were unfamiliar with and you hoped Lucifer could feel the pain the same way you did.

"Why?" you whispered.

"Why what?"

"Why'd you say that to him?"

Lucifer laughed. "Simple...I knew it would hurt both of you. You're in love with him and if his reaction was anything to go by, it looks like he feels the same."

"We're both helping you right now. Why can't you just be grateful for 10 fucking minutes?" you hissed.

"Where's the fun in that?"

You knew the question was rhetorical, so you didn't bother responding. Instead, you quietly watched Dean walk away and you knew he was going to lose his shit. You could feel it as clearly as your own emotions.

"Let's follow him," Lucifer said happily.

"Let him take his anger out without an audience," you snapped.

Lucifer ignored you and quietly followed after Dean, keeping a distance to avoid being noticed.

Once Dean was farther away from the house and seemingly alone, he grabbed a crowbar from a nearby bench and began to beat the ever-loving-shit out of a junker car.

If you'd wondered about Dean's feelings for you before (and you had), you didn't wonder anymore. It was clear he cared about you in the same way you cared about him and you hated seeing him in such pain.

You wanted nothing more than to go to him, but Lucifer was much happier standing to the side and watching Dean suffer alone.

"Please," you whispered.

"You can tell him I'm a lying bastard if you manage to survive this."

"You and I both know that's not likely," you sighed quietly. "I don't want him to suffer and I don't want to die with him thinking I hate him."

"Pity. Guess you should have told him sooner..."

"Oh fuck off, Lucifer," you growled.

Lucifer's laughter echoed in your head and you hated him in that moment more than you could even begin to express.

**********

"You alright kid?" Bobby asked Dean when he returned to the house an hour or so later.

Lucifer, and therefore you, had returned shortly after watching Dean fall apart. When he'd dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face, Lucifer had gotten bored and left.

"I'm fine," Dean lied. "Do you have any leads?"

"I've put out my feelers to every person I could think of. I'm sure someone will have something for me soon."

"Did you call Sam?"

Bobby shook his head. "I assumed you did."

"Call him and let him know what's going on. I'm going out."

"Where are you going?"

"Yeah, Dean," Lucifer chimed in, "where are you going?"

"The nearest bar. Don't wait up."

You tried to say his name, but your mouth refused to form the word.

As soon as Dean was out of earshot, Bobby turned his attention to you. "What the hell did you say to him?"

"Me?" Lucifer asked, feigning innocence. "Why would you think I did something?"

"Maybe because you're the devil?" Bobby answered sarcastically.

Lucifer smirked darkly. "I may have poked at all of his insecurities."

Bobby groaned. "You're a son of a bitch, you know that?"

"That's not a nice thing to say about my Father."

Bobby just glared at you and rolled his eyes. He got up and left the room and you assumed he was going to call Sam.

"I second Bobby's comment."

"I wear it like a badge of honor."

You knew exactly what Dean was going to do and it was killing you. He was going to drink until he couldn't feel a thing, pick up some random girl, and fuck her senseless--anything to feel something other than the ache in his chest. You knew him better than he knew himself...but in this moment, you desperately wished you didn't. You would give anything to not know what he was going to do.

**********

Three days later, one of Bobby's sources had a lead on a potential archangel vessel.

Dean hadn't spoken to you or Lucifer unless he absolutely had to. It was too hard to even look at your face and hearing your voice was a thousand times worse.

Sam was still out on a hunt with Garth, but he promised to be there to help as soon as he could.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Bobby asked Dean as the two of you were preparing to leave.

"The less people involved, the better. Stay here in case we need more intel," Dean responded.

"I don't like the idea of you traveling alone with Lucifer."

"I'll be fine."

Bobby didn't believe him anymore than you did, but neither of you commented on it--not that you could have if you'd wanted to.

As you/Lucifer and Dean climbed into the Impala, Dean didn't spare a glance in your direction.

"Isn't this fun?" Lucifer asked. "I've always wanted to go on a roadtrip."

Dean groaned. "What are the chances you'll be quiet during this drive?"

"Slim to none," Lucifer said with a smirk.

The response almost made Dean smile. It sounded like something you would say and technically it was your voice. He had to remind himself you weren't really talking to him--every word out of your mouth was Lucifer.

Dean took off without another word and you silently prayed this lead would pan out. You were extremely tired and it had only been about four days since Lucifer had possessed you.

By this point, you were having a hard time focusing on what was happening in the real world. You were in pain and you could feel your body weakening...you were dying and you knew it. You just hoped Dean didn't notice.

**********

By the time the three of you arrived at your destination, you were feeling terrible. You weren't even sure how much time had passed since you'd left Bobby's. In fact, you were pretty sure you'd fallen asleep very early on.

"It's been about 12 hours," Lucifer told you.

"I slept for 12 hours?"

"You're dying," he said nonchalantly. "So you're going to have a harder time staying awake."

"Great," you whispered sarcastically.

"Lucifer!" Dean growled. "You coming?"

"Of course."

Lucifer followed Dean into a building you assumed was an apartment complex. Sometime during the elevator ride, you must have fallen unconscious again, because when you opened your eyes again, you found yourself standing in a nice apartment.

Dean was talking calmly to a young man who looked moderately terrified.

"Is he the vessel?" you mumbled.

"Yes. I can feel it," Lucifer responded.

"Thank god..."

"I'm sorry, you want me to allow the literal devil to possess me?" the young man practically yelled at Dean. "That's assuming I even believe in the devil."

"Look man," Dean said with surprising calmness. "I know I sound insane, but it's all real. We need an archangel vessel and like it or not, that's you."

"What if I don't want to say yes?"

Dean grabbed him by his collar. "Then the woman he's currently wearing will die...and I will do anything to prevent that." His voice was low, barely above a growl.

The young man looked terrified, eyes wide with fear. "Are you threatening me?" he whispered.

Dean straightened out the guy's shirt and gave him a dark smile. "Of course not."

"So I have a choice?"

Lucifer chuckled. "Don't think for a moment he'll give you an option, kid."

The guy looked at you and you felt terrible for him. You understood his fear and apprehension...and it felt wrong to force Lucifer onto him. This kid didn't deserve it.

"We shouldn't be doing this," you mumbled.

"Too late, (Y/N). Dean knows he's an archangel vessel. There's no way he's going to leave without getting him to say yes."

You wanted to respond--to fight, but you couldn't. You were too weak...too tired. Everything hurt too much.

"What's it like?" the guy asked softly.

"Like being strapped to a rocket," Lucifer said snidely.

Dean shot him an annoyed glance. "You'll be fine. You were meant for this."

The guy's gaze remained fixated on you. "She looks like shit...am I going to look like that?"

Dean finally focused his gaze on your face and you saw the fear flash in his eyes. He could see you were dying. Your skin was pale, your eyes bloodshot, dark circles adorning them...your lips were cracked and there were slight lacerations appearing around your forehead and jawline.

"She wasn't meant to house the power of an archangel," Lucifer responded. "She's dying, but the same won't happen to you."

"Will she be okay if I say yes?"

"Yes," Lucifer lied smoothly.

The guy looked like he was contemplating what to do, so Dean spoke up again.

"Look, kid. She's important to me...more important to me than pretty much anyone else in this fucked up world. I would do anything to save her...she's--she's my brother's girl."

You wanted to tell him that wasn't true, but you knew it was fruitless to even try. Even still, your heart ached at his words.

"How long?" the guy asked, directing his question at Lucifer.

"As long as I want. You'll never age, never die, as long as I'm with you."

The guy nodded. "Alright. I'll do it." He stood up. "What do I need to do?"

"Just say 'yes'," Lucifer answered.

"Yes."

A bright white light filled the room and Dean had to shield his eyes. When the light faded, you were lying on the floor and Lucifer was now clearly possessing the young man they'd come to find.

"(Y/N)!" Dean yelled as he raced to your side.

Your pulse was faint and you looked even worse than you had moments before.

"Heal her," Dean demanded.

Lucifer's lips curled up in a cruel smile. "No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no," he repeated. "I'm not interested in saving her."

"You wouldn't have a vessel without us. You owe her!"

"I'm the devil, Dean. What makes you think I give a damn about debts?"

Dean stared at him, anger and terror fighting for control in equal measure. He stood up and went to lunge at Lucifer, but the archangel simply disappeared, leaving you and Dean completely helpless and alone.

**********

Dean had rushed you to the hospital and was currently sitting in the waiting room, hoping to hear something about your condition.

Sam rushed into the room, eyes scanning for his brother. When he saw him, Sam crossed the distance and wrapped Dean in a tight hug.

"How is she?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Dean said quietly. "But it doesn't look good."

"She's strong, Dean."

"I don't think that matters...her body was never meant to house an archangel and she managed to do it for almost a week. She's dying, Sammy."

Sam's eyes filled with tears, but he blinked rapidly to keep them from falling.

Dean's heart ached, seeing his brother look so upset. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel a broken emptiness in his soul--a space you used to occupy. But he needed to push past his own pain for his brother's sake. After all...you weren't his.

"For (Y/N)?" a doctor called into the waiting room.

Dean and Sam practically ran in her direction. Dean's heart clenched in his chest as he took in the doctor's sad expression.

"Are you (Y/N)'s family?"

Both men nodded.

"Come with me, please," the doctor said quietly.

They followed her to a private waiting area and Dean's dread increased significantly. "What's going on?" he asked worriedly.

"Please have a seat," the doctor asked, gesturing toward the chairs against the wall. She closed the door before taking her seat across from them.

"My name's Dr. Murphy. I'm (Y/N)'s treating physician."

"I'm Sam and this is my brother Dean."

"There's no easy way to say this," Dr. Murphy said gently. "(Y/N)'s injuries are quite severe and she's in critical condition."

"But she's going to be okay, right?" Dean asked hopefully.

Dr. Murphy frowned and shook her head. "Her organs have begun to shut down...it's only a matter of time now. The best I can do is try to keep her comfortable."

"No," Dean whispered. "No, she can't--"

Sam placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, trying to comfort his brother.

"I'm very sorry," Dr. Murphy murmured.

Dean suddenly stood up. "I can't do this. I need--I need air."

He practically ran from the room and Sam got up to follow him, but Dr. Murphy placed a gentle hand on his arm. "I think it's best to give him a moment."

Sam nodded as he desperately tried to push his own emotions away. He adored you, but he knew exactly how much Dean loved you...so he knew how much pain his brother was in right now. It hurt him almost as much as losing you.

***********

Once Dean was outside, he ran around to the side of the building, desperate to be alone for a moment. He collapsed onto the ground, back against the hard stone of the hospital exterior. All of the tears he'd been pushing back for days finally poured out.

He found himself falling apart in public--something he couldn't recall doing before. He couldn't bring himself to care. You were dying and it was killing him. It was all his fault. If he hadn't been so careless, he wouldn't have gotten injured and you never would have had to beg Lucifer to save him.

He knew it wasn't a rational way of thinking, but in that moment, it didn't matter. You were about to become just another name on a never ending list of people who died because of him. He couldn't take it--it was too much.

"I know I'm not exactly on good terms with any of you and I probably don't deserve your help, but I'm not asking for myself. (Y/N) is dying and I can't save her. I'm not normally the kind of man to beg, but I'm on my knees right now...begging for just one of you to find it in yourself to give a damn. She doesn't deserve this. She's the best person I've ever known...so please. Please someone answer me. Please..." His voice was broken by the end of his short speech.

He was desperate and there was nothing he wouldn't do to save her. If no angel would help him...he wasn't above making a deal with a demon. He'd been to hell once before, and he'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant you could live.

"Hello, Dean Winchester," a soft female voice said from beside him.

He jumped up quickly, ready to fight if need be. He hadn't even heard the woman arrive, which meant she likely wasn't human.

"Don't worry," she said gently. "I'm not here to hurt you. My name is Aliraphael."

"Aliraphael?" Dean repeated. "I've never heard of you."

She smiled. "You don't need to know my name to know what I am."

Dean swallowed thickly. "Why did you come?"

"You prayed for help. I answered."

"But why? We don't know you...what would make you wanna help us?"

Aliraphael smiled. "You, your brother, and (Y/N) have sacrificed much for this world and all of the people in it. I think you deserve a miracle."

Normally Dean wouldn't believe her, but there was something in her eyes that made him feel safe. He was inclined to trust her, but he had to be sure. "What do you want in return?"

"Nothing. This is my gift to you."

"Nothing is free."

"I understand why you may be jaded, but sometimes a gift is simply a gift. This is one of those times."

Dean nodded. "I'm choosing to trust you, but just know if you betray me, I will kill you."

She smiled. "I would expect nothing less of the great Dean Winchester."

Dean led Aliraphael into the hospital and his eyes scanned the waiting area for Sam. He wasn't there, so Dean assumed he'd gone to your room.

"Excuse me. Can you tell me what room (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is in?" Dean asked the receptionist.

The woman typed on her computer without looking up and muttered, "Room 212."

"Thanks," Dean replied. He tried to walk slowly--normally--to room 212, but every instinct in his body was screaming for him to get to you as quickly as possible.

When Dean entered the room, he saw Sam standing beside your bed, his hand wrapped tightly around yours. He was speaking softly to you and Dean felt that ache in his chest intensify.

"Sam," Dean said softly.

Sam turned towards the door, eyes red from his tears. He looked between Dean and Aliraphael in confusion. "Who's she?"

"I am Aliraphael," the angel responded. "I am here to heal (Y/N)."

Sam cut Dean a look. "What did you do?"

Dean shrugged. "I prayed. She came."

"Okay, but what did you promise her in exchange?"

"Your brother has promised me nothing. I am doing this because I wish to. I have no ulterior motive."

Sam still looked worried, but he stepped back to allow Aliraphael access to your bed. Aliraphael gently placed her hand against your forehead and closed her eyes. A soft white glow began to envelop your body and your skin began to return to normal.

After several moments, Aliraphael dropped her hand from your head and turned to Sam and Dean. "It is finished."

You started to stir in the bed and Dean's heart beat faster.

"She will awaken in a moment," Aliraphael assured them.

"Thank you," Dean whispered, unable to take his eyes off your face.

Sam echoed his brother's statement and Aliraphael smiled.

"You are all very welcome." With that, the angel disappeared as if she had never been there.

You groaned softly and your eyes slowly opened. You blinked rapidly trying to clear them and focus on the room around you.

"I have to go," Dean muttered.

"What?" Sam asked in surprise, but Dean had already exited the room.

"Sam?" you asked softly, hearing the younger Winchester's voice.

"Hey, (Y/N/N)," he murmured. "I'm here."

Your bright (y/e/c) eyes focused on his face. "What happened?"

"What do you remember?"

You thought about it for a moment and the memories of the past few days came flooding back. "Lucifer..." you whispered.

Sam sighed and nodded. "Yeah."

"I was dying, Sam--I felt it. Why am I not dead?"

"Dean prayed...and some angel we'd never met before came to save you."

Your eyes widened. "Dean...where is he? I need to talk to him."

"He was just here, but when you started to wake up, he bolted."

"Shit," you murmured. "We need to go after him."

You started to sit up and tug at the IV in your arm, but Sam stopped you.

"Woah! Woah! Slow down, (Y/N). You were almost dead not even five minutes ago."

"And now I'm not, so we need to get the hell out of here Sam," you insisted.

Sam sighed. He knew better than to fight you, so he simply helped you remove your IV and untangle you from the web of other tubes and wires. He handed you your clothes and turned around so you could get dressed in privacy.

"Alright, let's go," you said as soon as you were dressed.

*********

When Dean left the hospital, he'd taken the Impala and started the long drive back to Lawrence. He just wanted to get home before you and figure out what his next move was. If you and Sam were going to be together...he didn't want to be there to witness it. He couldn't.

Dean's phone had rang several times, but he hadn't answered. Most of the calls were from you and a few were from Sam, but he couldn't handle hearing your voice right now. Especially if you were going to tell him everything Lucifer had said was true.

"He's still not answering his damn phone," you muttered, throwing the phone onto the dash angrily.

"I just don't get why he'd leave like that," Sam said for the fifth time.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. "Lucifer said some things to him, Sam...things that hurt him deeply. None of it was true, but Dean doesn't know that."

"What kind of things?"

"Things about me...about how I feel. And about you," you admitted quietly.

"(Y/N), just tell me."

"Lucifer told Dean I couldn't stand him and the only reason I hung around was because I'm in love with you."

Sam scoffed. "And Dean believed him?"

"You didn't see his face, Sam...he believed every word. I wanted to tell him the truth, but I couldn't overpower Lucifer."

"Shit," Sam mumbled. "He's a goddamn idiot if he thinks you love me more than him."

You laughed dryly. "Lucifer played on Dean's insecurities and unfortunately, it worked."

Sam sighed. "Where do you think he'd go?"

"I have to hope he went home."

"Then let's get there before he does." Sam sped up, flooring the stolen car like he'd--well, like he'd stolen it.

You were about five hours from Lawrence and Dean had a head start. You knew it was unlikely you'd get there first, but you had to hope you could get there before he left.

**********

When Sam pulled into the Bunker's garage four and a half hours later, you were relieved to see the Impala parked where it should be. Dean would never leave without his beloved car, which meant he was still there.

Both you and Sam practically ran into the Bunker, calling Dean's name.

The green eyed hunter heard your voices, but he ignored both you and Sam. He couldn't face you...he just couldn't.

"Dean? Where are you?" you called again.

"Come on, Dean. We know you're here," Sam said in annoyance.

You headed into the kitchen and Sam went down towards Dean's bedroom. Both of you hoped to find him before he managed to sneak his way out.

Sam entered his brother's room without knocking and sighed in relief. "Dean. There you are."

"Sam," he said curtly.

"Why the hell did you leave? And why didn't you answer our calls?"

"I just needed to get out of there."

"What, before (Y/N) woke up?" Sam's tone made it clear exactly how stupid he thought his brother's actions were.

"Look man, I'm glad she's okay, but I can't face her. I don't want to have that conversation."

Sam decided to play dumb. "What conversation, Dean? The one where she thanks you for saving her life? Or where you yell at her for saying yes to Lucifer in the first place? Cuz trust me, we had that conversation already."

"That's not what I'm talking about, Sam," Dean said quietly as he started to pack his duffle. "But it doesn't matter. I'm leaving."

"Why the hell are you leaving?"

"I can't stay here. I can't--I can't see the two of you together," he whispered.

"Together?" Sam asked incredulously. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's fine, Sam. I know."

"There's nothing to know!"

Dean glared at his brother and shook his head. "I saw you at the hospital...you clearly feel the same as she does."

"Yeah I do!" Sam yelled. "She's my friend--she's family!"

Dean was about to snap back another retort, but Sam cut him off.

"Just talk to (Y/N), Dean. Let her explain...you owe her that much."

"I don't want to talk to her."

"I'm not going to give you a choice," you said from the bedroom doorway.

Both men turned to look at you in surprise. You crossed your arms and stood firm.

"I don't want to talk," Dean said quietly.

"Good. I don't want you to talk, Dean. I want you to listen." You turned your gaze to Sam and gestured with your head for him to leave the room.

He gladly exited, not wanting to be a part of this particular conversation.

You closed the door behind him and continued to stand in front of it, afraid Dean would try to leave if you moved.

"Lucifer is a liar, Dean. I shouldn't even have to say that. He's the devil, for crying out loud. He's kinda known for his lies."

"But he's also been honest with us before," Dean countered.

"Only when it benefited him. Just like he lies when it benefits him. Hurting you? Hurting me? That shit brought him joy."

"Really? Did it hurt you to hear him tell me how you really feel about me?"

"No," you said angrily. "It hurt me to hear him lie to you about how I feel! The things he said were cruel and terrible, but more importantly, they weren't true!"

Dean stared at you silently, clearly not believing a word you said.

"Do you really think I'm capable of lying to you for years? Think of every moment we've spent together, Dean...do you really think I pretended to care about you? Pretended to enjoy spending time with you? Think about all the times we've laughed together, the times we've had each other's backs, the small glances, the whispers in the dark when one of us had a nightmare. Think about all of those moments and then look me in the eye and tell me it was all a lie."

Tears filled his beautiful green eyes and you knew the same expression was reflected in your own. You took a step towards him, desperately wanting to touch him, but afraid it be unwelcome.

"You're my favorite person in the world, Dean Winchester. You. Not Sam, not Bobby, not Jodi...you. You hold my whole heart in your hands...you always have. If you don't want it, then I understand, but don't for a second think I love anyone but you."

His lips parted in surprise. "But what about Sam?" he whispered.

You sighed loudly. "Weren't you listening? Sam is my friend, Dean, but nothing more than that. I love him like a brother." You took another step towards him. "He doesn't compare to you--he couldn't compare to you. I love you, Dean...and I don't mean like a brother."

Dean inhaled deeply. "I want to believe you, (Y/N/N)..."

"Then believe me," you begged him. "I love you."

Dean thought about what Lucifer had said and he realized why he'd believed it so easily. They were all things Dean was afraid of...he knew he wasn't good enough for you and he was terrified you knew it too.

"Talk to me, Dean," you whispered, taking a final step towards him.

He looked deep into your eyes and found nothing but love there. The same love he held in his soul for you. "I've always been afraid to tell you how I feel because I know I'm not good enough for you," he admitted. "That's why it was so easy for me to believe Lucifer's lies...it was almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I couldn't believe you'd ever want me, so it was easier to believe you wanted Sam. He's better for you in every way."

"Stop," you whispered, pressing a finger to his lips. "I decide who is best for me and I choose you. I will always choose you."

"(Y/N)," he whispered.

You pressed your lips against his, trying to infuse it with all of the love in your soul. Dean's arms wrapped around your thick waist, pulling you closer to him. He deepened the kiss, lips hungrily devouring yours.

You stayed locked in each other's embrace for what felt like an eternity. Your tongues fought for dominance and your hands caressed any part of each other they could reach.

When the kiss inevitably broke so the two of you could breathe, Dean laid his forehead against yours. "This might go without saying, but I love you too, (Y/N). So goddamn much."

You chuckled breathlessly. "After a kiss like that, I'd sure as hell hope so."

He grinned and tugged you even closer to him. His lips pressed against yours again and he found himself wanting to feel every part of your soft body. He needed it, just as much as needed air to breathe.

"Let me show you how much, baby," he whispered against your lips.

"Please," you moaned softly.

“Strip for me, pretty girl,” he commanded.

You gently pushed against his chest, forcing him back against the bed. He dropped down onto the mattress, eyes never leaving your body.

You slowly began to remove your clothing, taking much longer than you needed to. You were teasing him and he was eating it up.

You finally got down to just your bra and panties, nothing fancy as you obviously weren’t planning on this happening, but Dean didn’t seem to care. In fact, you were about to be very glad you didn’t wear anything nice.

“You are so damn beautiful, baby,” he whispered.

You offered him a warm smile, appreciative of the affection in his gaze. He thought you were a goddess among humans, a treasure to behold.

“I think you’re a bit overdressed, Dean,” you teased softly.

“You know, babe, I think you’re right.” He stood up and shed his layers significantly faster than you had. He was extremely impatient, as he was dying to get his hands on you.

You admired his broad chest, thick arms, and sculpted form. He looked incredible, scars and all. You felt the strong urge to kiss every single one of them, if he would allow you.

He now stood before you in nothing but his boxers, his large erection straining against the thin fabric.

“Let’s get this off you,” he muttered, reaching behind your back to unhook your bra.

The moment your breasts were exposed to his gaze, he let out a low groan. “Fuck, baby. These are even better than I’d imagined.”

“You imagined my—“ your question was cut off by the feeling of his lips wrapped around your nipple and his hands caressing your breasts gently.

The gentle movements quickly turned more intense, and he began to truly knead and nip at your flesh. You moaned softly and gently ran your fingers through his soft hair.

You pressed yourself even closer to him, feeling his bulge press against your abdomen. He lifted his head with a small smirk.

“Impatient, are we?”

You nodded quickly.

“Oh come on now, sweetheart. Use those words for me. Tell me what you want.”

“You,” you whimpered. “I want you.”

His smirk widened. “I figured that much out on my own, darlin'. I want you to tell me what you need.”

You weren’t exactly accustomed to expressing yourself verbally in the bedroom. To be honest, a lot of your past experiences weren’t that great anyway. A lot of one night stands with men who only cared about their own pleasure.

You found yourself feeling kind of excited at the prospect of a man listening to you and what you wanted…even more so because that man was Dean.

“I want you on your knees, handsome,” you said firmly.

Dean’s eyes widened slightly, but he dropped to his knees obediently. His normally bright green eyes were dark with lust as he locked eyes with you.

You loved the powerful feeling you had as you stood over him. The great Dean Winchester, on his knees for you.

You touched his face sweetly and he leaned into your palm, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “Do you wanna eat my pussy, Dean?” you whispered.

His eyes shot back open, a hungry expression on his face. “Yes,” he breathed lowly.

“Then get to work,” you commanded softly.

Dean was used to being in charge in the bedroom and it wasn’t often he found himself submitting to a woman. You were different than any woman he’d ever been with before—after all, he loved you. If you told him to do a damn handstand naked, lick your feet, and call you “your majesty”, he would have done it in a heartbeat.

His calloused hands slowly slid up your thighs, squeezing the supple flesh. His mouth followed, leaving sloppy kisses as he worked his way closer to your core.

“Baby?” he asked softly, glancing up at you.

“Hmm?”

“Do you have any particular attachment to these panties?”

“No, why—Dean!” you gasped as he ripped your underwear in half, tossing the remains to the floor.

He grinned and made a happy little noise deep in his throat before kissing your mound. He grabbed your right leg and tugged it up over his shoulder, giving him better access to you.

“Lean on me for support, beautiful. I got you.”

The moment you laid a hand on his shoulder and he was sure you were stable, he dove into your pussy with a deep growl.

Your head fell back in ecstasy and a series of moans left your lips. The hand not holding onto his shoulder immediately wound itself in his hair, holding on for dear life.

“Dean—feels so good,” you moaned.

His hands dug into your ass cheeks in response, tugging you even closer to him. He never wanted to stop—hearing those sweet sounds you made mixed with the heady taste of your sweetness was more intoxicating than any drink he’d ever had.

Your legs had begun to tremble and Dean’s grip on you tightened. He wasn’t willing to stop his ministrations, but he wouldn’t let you fall either.

Your nails scraped against his scalp and his shoulder as you clung to him. The pleasure was almost too much and not enough all at once, and you felt your orgasm approaching.

“Dean,” you gasped. “I’m so close.”

He smiled against your core and shifted his focus more heavily to your clit. You cried out and cursed softly, and he knew he’d made the right move.

“I—oh god,” you cried as your orgasm washed over you.

Dean lapped up everything you had to offer, his grip on your body never loosening. As you began to come down from your high, he slipped his hands up to your hips to ensure he didn’t drop you.

He gave your pussy one last lick before allowing you to pull him up by his hair. To his surprise, you mashed your lips against his hungrily, not giving a damn that he tasted like you.

One hand tangled into your hair and the other held you tightly. “What do you want me to do now, sweetheart?” He murmured against your skin.

“Take control, Dean,” you begged. “Make my legs shake. Make me scream. I don’t wanna be able to move for hours.”

“Holy fuck,” he groaned. “Who taught you to talk like that, baby?”

You smirked. “It comes naturally with you.”

"Well it's the sexiest thing I've ever heard," he murmured.

His strong arms wrapped around your waist and gripped you tightly. He spun you both around so your back was to the bed. He pulled you up into his arms and tossed you onto the bed.

You gasped in surprise, not used to being manhandled in such a manner. You sat up slightly, resting on your elbows as you looked at the gorgeous man in front of you. You curled one finger and beckoned him towards you with a smirk.

He quickly discarded his boxers and dropped onto the bed, crawling slowly up your body. He dropped kisses onto your skin as he moved, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

When he reached your mouth, you reached up and grabbed the hair at the base of his neck, tugging him down to you. Your kiss was hungry and needy, leaving no question as to what you wanted.

As the kiss deepened, Dean shifted his body to touch your soft curves. In doing so, the tip of his cock brushed against your pussy, eliciting soft moans from both of you.

Dean's hands traced softly up and down your sides, relishing the feeling of your skin against his. "I love touching you," he murmured in your ear. "You're so damn soft."

You smiled and turned your head to nip at his jaw. He groaned and turned his attention back to your soft lips, sucking the bottom one between his teeth and biting down gently.

Much like Dean, you loved touching his body, but you reveled in the firmness of his body beneath your hands. Every time he moved, you could feel his muscles tense and shift. His body was powerful and beautiful--a vessel carrying the most incredible soul you'd ever known.

Dean shifted again, nudging your head to the side so he could suck at your neck, leaving love marks on the sensitive skin. You lifted your hips up slightly, seeking some kind of friction to relieve the ache between your legs. Once again, his cock brushed against your core and you gasped lightly. Dean, on the other hand, bit gently into your neck to suppress a loud moan.

"I can't wait any longer, baby," he groaned.

"Take me. I'm yours," you whispered.

He sighed softly, kissing you sweetly before pulling away. "Roll over for me, sweetness. Hands and knees."

Your eyes widened in surprise, but you rolled over immediately. You lowered your upper body to lay flat against the mattress, ass high in the air.

"Holy shit," Dean murmured as his hands grasped your large, round ass. "Who said you could have an ass this incredible? I can't wait to watch it jiggle while I fuck you senseless."

Before you could respond, he smacked your ass with an open palm, causing you to gasp slightly.

He seemed to realize belatedly that he should have asked if you were okay with that before doing it, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't imagined smacking your ass for years. "Is that okay, baby?"

"More, please," you begged softly.

He smacked your ass again with a grin. "You like that?"

"Harder, Dean," you moaned. "Like you mean it."

"Fuck," he groaned, hand coming down against your cheek again.

Each time you moaned loudly, reaffirming your enjoyment of the action. Your pussy clenched around nothing and you were beyond desperate for him to just fuck you already.

"Dean, I need you--please," you cried desperately.

"Where do you need me, baby?"

"Inside me," you whimpered.

Without warning, you felt one of Dean's thick fingers enter your pussy. "Like this?"

You shook your head rapidly.

"Words, babe," he said firmly.

"I want your cock, Dean."

"Yeah? Tell me where."

You turned your head to look at him as best as you could from your current position. "I want you to fuck my pussy with your big, thick cock...please," you pleaded softly.

Dean blinked rapidly and licked his lips. He pulled his finger out from inside of you and sucked your juices from it. "Yes ma'am," he murmured.

He leaned forward and kissed your cheek where he'd left a red mark from his slaps. You turned your head back around, forehead against the mattress, preparing yourself for what would come next.

Dean gripped his cock tightly, stroking it a few times before lining himself up with your entrance. He started to enter you and you gasped at the stretch. It was painful given his larger than average size.

"I've got you, baby," he whispered, running his hands up and down your back in a soothing manner. "Just relax for me."

You took a deep breath and tried to relax your body as much as you could. When he felt the tension leave you, he continued to push forward.

You'd never felt so full before and the pain had begun to subside into pleasure. "You're so big," you mumbled.

Dean smirked and chuckled softly. "I'm not all the way in yet, sweetheart."

"What?!" you gasped in surprise.

He pushed the rest of the way in, bottoming out so deep inside you, you swore you could feel him against your cervix. "Fuck!" you yelped.

Dean continued his soothing hand motions on your hips as he allowed you the time you needed to adjust to his size.

While you appreciated his gentleness, you desperately needed him to fuck you. Instead of telling him what you wanted, you moved your hips forward slightly before slamming back against him so your ass pressed firmly against his lower abdomen.

Dean's blunt nails dug into your hips and he growled lowly. "Fuck, baby."

His hips snapped forward and he held you in place by your hips. He set a brutal pace, unable to move slowly--it felt way too damn good.

Dean was completely mesmerized by your ass, watching it jiggle as he fucked into you forcefully. He slapped the opposite cheek from the one he'd hit earlier and you cried out in pleasure, pussy clenching around him.

"You feel so fuckin' good, sweetness," he moaned. "Tightest pussy I've ever had."

You couldn't formulate a good response to his words as you were already too far gone. His cock slammed into your g-spot with each thrust, making your legs shake and your head fog up.

"Made for me, weren't you baby?"

"Mhmm," you hummed.

Dean smiled, knowing you were overwhelmed with pleasure and unable to respond properly. He leaned forward and grabbed a handful of your hair at the base of your neck. He tugged back slightly--just enough to cause a little pain without truly hurting you.

His thrusts were almost violent, they were so fast and hard. He wanted to feel you come apart on his cock and he knew you were close.

"You gonna cum for me, baby?" he whispered.

You simply whined desperately.

"What do you need, sweetheart? Tell me what you need."

"More," you begged.

"Hmm," Dean hummed. He slipped an arm around your waist and tugged you back against him so you were sitting up as he continued to thrust into you.

One hand slid up to your neck, wrapping around your throat and applying just a tiny bit of pressure to gauge your reaction. His other hand moved slowly towards your core, seeking your clit for added stimulation.

"Dean!" you cried.

He bit into your shoulder. "I'm here, baby. I want you to fall apart for me."

He rubbed at your clit quickly, thrusts slower due to the new position, but nevertheless pleasurable.

You needed just a little more to push yourself over the edge, so you gripped his hand around your neck and put more pressure on it, indicating what you needed.

Dean got the hint and tightened his grip on your throat, just enough to push you over the edge. He didn't want to hurt you--he would never hurt you.

"Cum for me, sweet girl," he murmured in your ear.

You cried out as your second orgasm crashed against you and your pussy tightened almost painfully around Dean's cock. He helped you ride out your high before lowering you back to the bed and rolling you over onto your back.

He was immediately on top of you, thrusting into you more slowly. He put one arm on either side of your head to support himself, effectively trapping you beneath him.

He rolled his hips against you, the motion pressing his pelvis against your clit, causing you to whimper in pained pleasure. Your hands found purchase in his upper back, nails digging in as he repeated the action.

"I love your body, baby," he whispered. "So fucking perfect."

You smiled up at him, pulling him down for a heated kiss. "I like it too," you mumbled. "Yours isn't bad either."

He chuckled lightly, kissing you lovingly. "I wanna see you come apart for me, (Y/N). Can you give me one more?"

Your eyes widened. "I don't think I can..."

"I bet you can, sweetness." He grabbed your hips and pulled your legs up so your legs were wrapped around his waist. He began to thrust in earnest again and your head fell back, a moan escaping your lips.

Dean closed his eyes, focusing on pulling at least one more orgasm from you and keeping his own at bay. The way you were squeezing him made it a hell of a lot harder than he would like.

The harder his thrusts, the tighter you seemed to grip him, and the deeper your nails dug into his back. He knew he was going to have some serious gashes on his back, but he intended to wear them with pride.

"Come apart for me, baby. Let me feel you soak my cock," he begged.

"Dean," you groaned.

"Come on, my love--let go."

Your eyes fluttered closed and your body began to shake as waves of pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. You came for the third time that night, cries of pleasure mixing with Dean's moans of encouragement.

You started to come down from your high, body overly sensitive from the onslaught of pleasure that continued. "Dean, too much!" you gasped.

"Just one more," he begged.

"I can't!" you whimpered.

"Please baby--one more. Need it," he continued to beg.

You didn't think it was possible for you to cum again, but you began to feel a new sensation in your abdomen. It felt similar to the familiar tightening coil that signified an oncoming orgasm, but it was infinitely more intense. You weren't even sure if it was pleasure or pain--the feeling was simply too overwhelming to comprehend.

"Dean--I can't--" you gasped in confusion.

His hand slid between your bodies to gently massage your clit and you suddenly couldn't breathe. You began to writhe beneath him, hands gripping at the sheets to try and ground yourself.

Dean knew you were about to come undone again, so he didn't slow any of his motions. "Look at me, baby."

Your eyes met his for no more than a moment before your vision became blurry. You screamed his name as you came for a fourth and final time. The feeling was so incredible, you couldn't even begin to describe it.

Your vision began to return to normal as you desperately tried to catch your breath. You were practically limp beneath him as Dean began to chase his own orgasm.

He tucked his head into the crook of your neck and murmured soft words of praise against your skin. "Feels so good--squeezing me perfectly."

He kissed your neck as his thrusts became more erratic. "I'm gonna fill up this pretty little pussy, sweetness. Gonna cum for you."

You managed to press a kiss into his shoulder and wrap your arms around him, hands clutching his back. "Fill me up, Dean," you whispered encouragingly.

Dean groaned lowly. "This pussy is mine, baby. You hear me? Mine."

"Yours, Dean. Only yours."

"Oh--fuck--" he groaned. "(Y/N)!"

His hips began to stutter, thrusts faltering as he filled you up with his seed. He whispered your name like a prayer as his movements began to slow to a halt. You clung to him tightly as he came down from his high.

He finally collapsed on top of you, completely spent and breathless.

You rubbed his back soothingly, lips pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder and neck. As the two of you laid there quietly, you began to notice the bedding beneath you was particularly wet--more so than you had expected it to be.

"I love you so much," Dean whispered, lips pressed softly against your jaw.

"I love you too, baby," you said sweetly.

Dean began to lift himself up, each movement making you gasp--body too overstimulated to handle any motion.

"Sorry, sweetheart," he murmured softly.

"I'm not complaining," you assured him.

He grinned slightly as he pulled himself up completely, softened member sliding out of your excessively wet pussy.

He looked down at the bed and his grin widened. "We made quite the mess, baby."

"Yeah, it feels a little...wetter than normal."

He chuckled softly. "That's probably because you squirted, (Y/N/N)."

You gasped, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. You realized that must have been the result of the most intense orgasm of your life. "I did?!"

Dean noticed your discomfort and immediately reassured you. "Yeah, sweetness--and it was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen."

You bit your lip and looked up at him. "Really?"

He grinned. "Really."

"I've--uh--well...I've never squirted before," you admitted.

His chest puffed up with pride. "I'm honored to have been the first--and the last." He added a wink for emphasis.

You smiled softly. "Maybe don't make it a regular thing...I literally can't move."

Dean laughed. "Don't worry, babe. I'll take care of you."

You watched the handsome man cross the room and go into the bathroom, emerging several minutes later with two washcloths. He gently picked you up, moving you to the other side of the bed where it was dry. From there, he very gently began to clean you up with the warm washcloths.

You were moved by the loving way he took care of you, making sure you were clean and comfortable before leaving the room in search of another set of sheets.

When he returned, you found you still couldn't move, but Dean didn't seem to mind. "I can change the sheets with you in them, (Y/N)."

"But--"

"Hush," he insisted as he pressed a kiss to your lips.

He made quick work of removing the sheets on the other half of the bed and putting the clean sheets on that side. He then scooped you up again and moved you to the clean, crisp sheets. He removed the rest of the soiled sheets and finished making the bed.

As soon as he was finished, he crawled into the bed beside you. He reached out to grab your soft body and tugged you against his warm chest.

You nuzzled into him and sighed softly. "I could get used to this."

He smiled and kissed the top of your head. "I'll always take care of you, baby...so you might as well get used to it. I'm not going anywhere."

You smiled and pressed a soft kiss onto his chest. "I love you, Dean."

Dean tightened his grip on you and smiled. "I love you more, (Y/N/N). Always."

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x reader smut #dean winchester x plus size!reader smut #dean winchester x plus size reader #supernatural smut #supernatural fanfic #dean winchester smut #jensen ackles smut

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muffinbeliever · 7 months

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Green with Envy

The reader is flirting with a guy for a case, and her boyfriend Dean is not happy about it.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 1732

Warnings: SMUT !!!! obv lol, thigh riding, choking, use of sir, degrading, hmmmmm that might be it lol

A/N: hello hello hello my lovelies its kinktober y'all know what that means *wink wonk* please enjoy this little smutty one shot with our favorite daddy dean (except in this he isn't daddy he's sir) this was written for @candy-coated-misery0731 per request

Masterlist

Dean was pissed. He was beyond pissed.

He was absolutely furious.

You could feel his piercing eyes glaring at the back of your head. Twirling your hair in your fingers, you nodded along to whatever the guy in front of you was saying, throwing in a flirtatious giggle every now and then just to add to your performance. Internally, you huffed at your boyfriend’s obvious annoyance.

It wasn’t like you wanted to talk to this guy— he was over-confident and loud— you just had to distract him long enough for Sam and Dean to grill his friend about the recent deaths in town. But seeing how Dean was standing in the corner, gritting his teeth, you assumed the brothers determined only one of them would be needed for the job.

The man across from you (you couldn’t recall his name… was it Jackson? Jasper? Whatever.) placed his hand on your arm, and you realized you had zoned out.

“Did you hear what I said?” He asked. His breath reeked of alcohol, and you wanted to cringe away from his touch, but you had a job to do. You swallowed your disgust and flashed him a sultry smile.

“Sorry, I was focused on your arms. Do you work out?” You feigned interest as you placed your hand on his bicep, and he smirked while flexing.

“Yeah, I lift,” he said, smugly. He glanced at your empty glass sitting on the bar and frowned. “Another round?”

You shook your head.

“No thanks, I have work in the morning,” you said, politely hinting that you wouldn’t be spending the night with him like he had hoped.

“Oh come on! Just one more drink wouldn’t hurt,” he encouraged, and with a sigh you caved, figuring that if you’re going to be stuck with him for God-knows-how-much longer, at least you’d get a free drink out of it.

“Alright, sure,” you agreed, resigned to your duty of the night.

As he hailed down the bartender, your eyes swept through the room, finding your boyfriend still brooding in the same corner. His eyebrows were tightly knit and his lips were slightly pursed. His arms were crossed over his chest; his arm muscles bulging in his black t-shirt without even trying. His dark green eyes met yours from across the bar, and you flashed him a smile. He raised a single eyebrow in return.

You knew that look.

You were fucked.

The bartender slid you a glass filled with amber liquid, presumably whiskey, but you weren’t sure. You thanked him and threw it back, knowing you’ll need it later when your jealous boyfriend decided to confront you.

The man across from you laughed and saluted you with a cheers before throwing his glass back as well. Suddenly, he was a lot closer than before, and you stood in shock as he reached out his hand, placing it on your cheek, and wiped at your bottom lip. You jerked from his touch, not at all pleased with his straightforward style.

“You had some whiskey on your lip,” he explained before he leaned in closer. “Would you have preferred I kiss it away, instead?”

Before you could say anything, you felt a firm hand clasp your shoulder and you were pulled away from the man in front of you and straight in to the familiar broad chest of your boyfriend.

“H-hey!” The man sputtered, confused as to what had just happened.

Dean ignored him and held your hand tightly in his.

“Y/N, we’re leaving,” he said quietly but firmly in your ear. His low voice was laced with anger and jealousy, and you hated to admit that it turned you on. Whether it was the liquor you practically inhaled or the dark promise of what was to come, you fluttered your eyelashes at him.

“But I was having fun,” you said with a pout. “And Sam isn’t even done!”

His eyes hardened even more at your disobedience, and he spun you towards the door.

“Let’s go. Now.”

With a dramatic sigh, you waved at What’s-His-Face, and he waved back, perplexed. You led the way out of the bar, Dean’s steady hand against your lower back.

The cool breeze hit you like a breath of fresh air, but you had no time to appreciate it, as Dean was already opening the passenger door to Baby, and you got in without argument. Without a word, he started the car and backed out of the driveway. His knuckles were white as he gripped the wheel, not quite speeding back to the motel, but definitely making a hasty exit.

“What about Sam?” You asked, sighing when your boyfriend clenched his jaw and kept his eyes on the road, ignoring your question. “Dean, look I—”

“Be quiet.”

His words were soft but demanding, and you couldn’t help the rush of excitement that swept through your body. You did as you were told and crossed your legs to provide some friction to your heated core. The last time Dean was this upset, he had spanked you so hard that you had bruises on your ass for a week. You watched as the night scenery flashed by, hyperaware of the rumbling vibrations of Baby’s engine that seemed to send sparks through you with every bump in the road.

He sharply pulled the car into the parking lot and you were quick to unbuckle your seatbelt. Dean, on the other hand, took his time, making you impatient for what was to come, but you knew better than to complain, so you kept your mouth shut and waited for him to guide you.

He got out of the car first, before making his way to your side where he stiffly opened the door. Ever the gentleman, he offered you his hand, and you took it, climbing out of the car.

It was silent as you entered your room, and you were thankful for Dean’s foresight of getting a separate room from Sam this time. You placed your bag on the bed, and Dean took a seat on the armchair facing you. His legs were spread and he looked leisurely, like a king, but you were not fooled. There was anger brewing in his eyes.

“Strip.”

This time, you knew better than to argue. You started with your top, crossing your arms over your body before slowly pulling it off. Your breasts bouncing as they were released. You unbuttoned your jeans before shimmying them down your legs. You hooked your thumbs in the waistband of your thong, and slowly pulled it down, turning around and bending over as you did.

Before long, you were fully naked, and Dean drank your body in with hungry eyes. He shifted in the chair, and you noticed his pants were tented where he had grown hard watching you strip. Without another word, he spread his legs even more and patted his leg. Understanding his request, you sat on him, your legs on either side as you straddled his thigh.

His leg was thick and hard under you, and you couldn’t help but press down further, creating friction between your clit and his jeans. His arm shot out and his hands wrapped around your throat, restricting you from grinding against him anymore.

“Did I say you could move?” His voice was low. Menacing.

“No,” you whimpered quietly, shaking your head. He tilted his head and tightened his grip around your throat.

“No, what?”

“No, sir,” you choked out. His tight hold relaxed slightly, and you inhaled deeply.

“I’m not happy with you, Y/N,” he stated simply.

“I know.” Your voice was shaky, partly from his grip and partly from your bubbling excitement.

“You know, do you? And what exactly do you know?”

“I shouldn’t have been teasing you like that, sir. I’m sorry.”

He chuckled darkly, and his other hand came to rest on your waist, shuffling you around, knowing it only made you more desperate.

“Teasing me? You think this is about you teasing me?”

You nodded quickly, causing him to chuckle more.

“This is about you parading yourself around the bar. Acting like a slut,” he hissed, pulling you closer towards him to whisper in your ear.

“Like you aren’t mine.”

You could feel yourself getting wetter with every word, whimpering from his intoxicating smell and touch that surrounded you.

“Tell me, Y/N, did you like when he touched your arm? And when he touched your lips that are only meant to be wrapped around my cock?” His thumb traced your bottom lip with a soft reverence that contrasted with his anger and rage. His hand tightened around your throat once again.

“Answer me.”

Immediately, you shook your head. You hadn’t enjoyed it. Not one bit.

“No, sir.”

He slowly began to rock your hips against his thigh, pulling you flush against the denim so you could feel the rough fabric.

“No? And why should I believe a whore like you?” He muttered into your hair as you ground your hips against him faster, whining and closing your eyes as you felt sparks in your toes moving up towards your core. Suddenly, you were stilled, and your eyes shot open.

“I asked you a question. You seem to be having trouble answering those tonight.”

Still dazed, you shook your head. “Yours. I’m only yours, sir. No one else’s.”

“Only mine?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Prove it.”

And with that, he sat you back down on his thigh. His large hand that was still wrapped around your throat tightened again, and you moaned as you rode him. Your hands gripped the arm of the chair and his thigh, steading yourself. You ground your hips against him and the room filled with your moans and whimpers.

“That’s a good girl. Wanting to prove to me that you’re my whore, and my whore only.”

You gasped when a sharp smack was delivered to your ass, speeding up your pace as waves of pleasure rolled through you, faster and faster, until you reached your peak, your body shuddering against his as you came with a wail.

Spent, you slumped against his clothed form, a slight sheen of sweat covering your body. He placed a kiss on your forehead, and you mumbled nonsense tiredly into the cotton of his shirt. He chuckled at your tiredness.

“You’re not getting out of this so easily, sweetheart. We’re not finished yet.”

Taglist: @akshi8278 @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @lanea-1 @slamminmine @bluedragonflylady @cevans-winchester @bakugouswh0r3 @muhahaha303 @allaroundjejje

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female!reader #reader insert #reader x dean winchester #dean winchester smut #dean winchester oneshot #supernatural #supernatural oneshot #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #thigh riding lol #muffinbeliever

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artbyblastweave · 5 months

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Frederick Sinclair is a really interesting foil to Mr. House. I mean you start digging into this and it's just parallel after parallel after parallel. Start at the high level. House sinks inordinate amounts of resources into saving the city of Las Vegas - not the people, but the city- from nuclear destruction; as long as the stage endures, he can get anyone to wear the costumes. Sinclair sets up an entirely new "community" totally off-the-grid for the sake of protecting one woman, plasters that place with her likeness. House is a visionary with a 200-year action plan to rebuild society in his image, bootstrap space exploration, and construct an interplanetary empire; Sinclair sank everything he had into building the most secure facility possible for a woman who he knew was terminally ill anyway, just to ensure that her last few years lived in the aftermath of the nuclear apocalypse would be as comfortable as possible- there's a fundamental pessimism baked into what he was doing. Both House and Sinclair relied heavily on automated defensive systems and cutting-edge, esoteric technologies to accomplish their ends, but House built his power base on proprietary robotics and computing technology, much of which he personally designed- an outgrowth of his policy of never widening his circle any more than he absolutely has to. Sinclair, in his naive techno-optimism, outsourced his utopia, grabbing flashy third-party technologies like a kid in a candy store- opening a backdoor for the Think Tank to poison his city and ultimately getting everyone at the Gala Event killed when the holograms malfunctioned and went berserk.

Their management styles are inverse. House allows countless abuses to occur under his aegis because he subscribes to a libertarian-when-convenient philosophy where he doesn't much care what the little people do as long as he gets his cut and they don't rock the boat too much- a hands-off approach that fosters resentment amongst his subordinates, lets the White Gloves and Omertas get up to untold levels of fuckery while Freeside languishes and Benny conspires against him. Sinclair, by contrast, had a sincerely-held utopian-straight-edge safety-first micromanagement approach built into the very bones of the casino, he appeared to genuinely give a shit about the safety of the construction crew on the villa, and he was well-liked by nearly everyone who had any direct contact with him- and yet untold horrors also went down under his aegis, because his myopic focus on building the vault for Vera let Dean Domino and the Think Tank run circles around him, good intentions be damned. Their respective interpersonal dispassion and obsession are on display in how they react to betrayal. House's tone never rises above exasperation when it comes time to clean house of Benny, the Omerta Leadership and the White gloves; he treats them as problems to be solved, gears that are slightly out of alignment; By contrast, when Sinclair learns that Dean and Vera have been playing him, he channels the monomaniacal energy he previously directed towards protecting Vera towards the goal of building the perfect poetic-ironic death trap for her and Dean.

There are some other parallels in their personal lives. For one thing they both trusted a pastiche of a 40s lounge singer a lot more than they should have. They both tried to digitize, immortalize their girlfriends- and the discrepancy in how they went about it is telling. House's recreation of Jane isn't terribly robust, and in terms of House's overall project she's an afterthought. She's more a sock-puppet than a person, a sanded-down copy of a woman who died forever-and-a-half ago, forever agreeable, never saying no. Convenient. Only the most superficial visual elements preserved- an illustration of her face on a robotic chassis. Sinclair was obsessive in recreating Vera, preserving her likeness. It's all over the villa, her hologram is everywhere, her voice is everywhere. The terminal in the lightwave lab in Old World Blues reveals that he was still obsessed with getting her hologram right even after the love curdled into hate. All of it a monument to the real woman, and yet in all of it the real woman is still lost, buried under the mythologized projection. He didn't respect the real person enough to let her know that she was dying. A total failure of preservation from the opposite direction. (Except in the suites, where you can hear her very authentic dying pleas.)

You find both of them in their basements. House only looks a little better than Sinclair, but he's got much more of a voice in the narrative. He took steps to make sure he'd be around to tell you what he thinks about everything, fine-tuned the voice with which he speaks to the world, the face he presents. It matters to him that he gets to tell his own story. We find out a lot about House, from House; but for the kind of figure that he is, a shocking amount of what we learn about Sinclair comes from other people, people who knew him or wrote about him. The only image of him you can find is a downplayed element of a larger mosaic. The two documents you find that're written from his perspective have been buried for 200 years, and they're yards from his corpse. And the more recent of the two is an apology. I mean admittedly at the point where he wrote that apology Sinclair was personally turbofucked regardless. If the cloud didn't get him the holograms would have, or the radiation, or, or, or. You can read some level of ego into what he did in the face of that. But however futile it was, he died in the specific way that he did because he recognized that he'd done something awful, and he was trying everything he could think of to correct it. Somehow I find it very hard to imagine House doing either of those things- admitting fault or putting skin of his own in the game to make it right.

#fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #mr house #frederick sinclair #meta #vera keyes #fallout jane #dead money #thoughts #fallout: new vegas #robert house

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supervisionx · 1 month

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I keep seeing posts that Hannibal is queerbait (not necessarily on Tumblr but it's really prevalent on Twitter and tiktok) so I'm going to break down how it is NOT queerbait under 'keep reading' (long ass rant ahead)

I'm going to use Supernatural and Sherlock as an example because they are both pretty infamous for queerbaiting, but this isn't to make fun of those shows altogether.

In both Supernatural and Sherlock, the main 'ships' are between Sherlock Holmes / John Watson and Castiel / Dean Winchester. In their respective shows, there is almost nothing stopping them from getting together. In both cases, they are friends, have good chemistry, spend a frequent amount of time together, and do not have any significant others. The only thing stopping them from being in a relationship is that one or both of them are presumably straight or are simply not in love with each other.

In Hannibal, however, one is an FBI agent, and the other is a serial killer. There is an in-show reason that would stop (especially Will Graham) from wanting to be in a relationship with the other despite personal feelings. Even in earlier seasons, when Will Graham did not know Hannibal was a serial killer, Hannibal was still his therapist.

Next, what makes the queerbait stand out especially in Sherlock and Supernatural, is that every time anything is suggested between the two popular ships, it is often played off as a joke.

Think of the scene in Sherlock where John fumbles asking Sherlock if he has a boyfriend. The scene where Sherlock is about to kiss Moriarty is presented as a flashback by a crazy fan (making fun of the viewer for thinking Sherlock could be in a male/male relationship)

In Supernatural, there is a scene where castiel is alluded to being teleported naked on top of Dean's car, dialog such as "Get out of my ass" "I was never in your..." and an awkward pause. These are all one-off jokes, scenes, etc. Meant to allude to queerness without having to actually commit to it.

In Hannibal, however, no scene that alludes to queerness is played as a joke. Hannibal is genuine when he says he cares for Will, when he is worried the other man has died, the constant touches, and where he compares their relationship to Achilles and Patroclus. (Do I even have to mention the "Is Hannibal... In love with me?" Scene?)

"But Hannibal and Will never kissed / never had a relationship!"

Okay, it's fair to be upset that the pair never kissed or had a full relationship established, but you have to remember Hannibal was canceled. Sherlock and Supernatural both came to their conclusions naturally and decided to continue never establishing a proper relationship between their queerbaited characters.

(I'm not counting that scene where castiel says "I love you" to Dean and gets sent to Super Hell as a relationship. You could argue that this makes Castiel explicitly queer and therefore not queerbait, but it still feels more like executives doing the same thing as the joke part of this argument; not wanting to commit to making him queer and throwing in a one-off line. Plus, this does not excuse baiting Dean as queer and baiting the relationship between Dean and Castiel as more than friendship)

However, Hannibal never got to reach its natural conclusion. More seasons were planned, in which the creator of the show explicitly stated he wanted to explore the relationship between Hannibal and Will more in those seasons before being canceled. Being upset that they never kissed / had a relationship does NOT mean the show was queerbait.

#hannibal #supernatural #bbc sherlock #queerbaiting #hannibal fandom #hannibal lecter #nbc hannibal #will graham #long reads #long post

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mydaddywiki · 6 months

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Jon Tester

Physique: Husky Build Height: 6'1¼" (1.86 m)

Raymond Jon Tester (born August 21, 1956 -) is a burly American organic farmer and politician serving as the senior United States senator from Montana, a seat he has held since 2007. The Havre, Montana native is the dean of Montana's congressional delegation and the only Democrat who holds statewide office in Montana. He is generally considered a centrist or moderate Democrat.

Tester hardly fits the modern profile of the Senate, a virtual millionaire's club these days. Tall, big bellied, with a flattop haircut and three fingers missing on this left hand (lost to a meat grinder at age 9), Tester resembles a retired football lineman (Mr. Tester is nearly 300 pounds) in cowboy boots than a United States senator. And it's rare these days to find a politician sporting such a big belly. So much so, that I'm captivated by it.

Again straight (what man that I like isn't) as he's married and together they have two children. A former music teacher with a reputation for folksy, down-to-earth authenticity and cursing with abandon. Tester even butchers and brings his own meat with him to Washington, saying "Taking meat with us is just something that we do…. We like our own meat." Well, if you're giving out samples of your meat Sen. Tester, I bet we all would love your meat. And by meat, I mean your PENIS.

#jon tester #mydaddywiki politicians

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tiktaalic · 8 months

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personally i think the main reason bisexual dean is the most popular take is because back when the discourse started, those fans who thought dean was gay didn't think spn would ever admit he was, so they were like "no no we get it he likes women!!! you're sooo right, we just think he kinda likes men a little bit too. he prefers women though!" and before anyone comes for me i know this isn't how any of this works. i think it was just a way to "compromise" or try to trick the showrunners into admitting it. and i am right because it's the same as them being like "fine. the angel is gay. not dean tho"

i think its a multi pronged beast and this was one of the prongs but certainly not all of them. i really DID think they might do destiel for real in season 9 and the path of least resistance to that would have been. bi dean. i think another prong is that i and many other people were 14. i was straight at the time. also it was 2012. cas-sexual got thrown around a lot. straight with an exception was thrown around a lot. Big Yaoi at the time required one homosexual brunette and one bisexual blonde or your yaoi pass got denied. i also think the projection aspect cant be discounted. and i think bisexuals have the numbers in population which means their interpretations r by and large bisexual which gives us. the almighty 100k works of destiel and the ever so humble 300 works of gay dean. gay dean's a reading you really got to work for you say gay dean and people go. hm. elaborate on that. it's not for everyone! but i for one . love a dean who gets lavender married because his brother told him to. and is so so crazy closeted and so crazy about it. this is representation for me, who did crazy crazy things while going im straight. i am straight.

#ask #anonymous #spnwatch

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layce2015 · 8 months

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Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

The End

Masterlist pt 1

Masterlist pt 2

*3rd Person POV*

A religious man stands outside the hotel with a handful of pamphlets. He addresses a passerby while the Impala drives up. "Hi. Good evening, brother. Is your soul rapture-ready?" he asked as the passersby ignores him. "Thank you, sir. God bless." the man said and he addresses two more people as the Impala stops in front of the hotel.

"Good evening, folks. Is your soul rapture-ready? Because what I'd like to do is just show you exactly what God's love is for you." He said but the couple ignore him. "Okay, God bless." the man said as Dean and (y/n) get out of the Impala and head for the hotel. The religious man addresses them.

"Excuse me, friends, but have you taken time out to think about God's plan for you?" He asked and the two stop and look at him. "Too friggin' much, pal." Dean replied and the two enter the hotel while the man watches them go.

"We're talking about the Colt, right? I mean, as in the Colt?" Dean asked through the phone, which was on speaker so that (y/n) could hear, as he lays on the bed. "We are." Castiel replied through the phone while (y/n) brushes her teeth. "Well, that doesn't make any sense. I mean, why would the demons keep a gun around that, uh, kills demons?" Dean asked while on Castiel's side, a car goes by.

"What? What? Did—I didn't—I didn't get that." Castiel said and Dean and (y/n) laugh before she spits out the toothpaste and finished cleaning her teeth. "You know, it's kind of funny. Talking to a messenger of God on a cellphone. It's, you know, like watching a Hell's Angel ride a moped." (y/n) quips and Dean laughs. "This isn't funny, guys. The voice says I'm almost out of minutes." Castiel said. "Okay, all right. I'm—I'm telling you, Cas, the mooks have melted down the gun by now." Dean said.

"Well, Ariel and I hear differently. And if it's true and if you are still set on the insane task of killing the devil, this is how we do it." Castiel said. "Okay. Where do we start?" Dean asked him. "Where are you two now?" Castiel asked. "Kansas City." Dean replied as he leans across the bed to grab his room key off the bedside table. "Century Hotel, room 113." Dean said.

"I'll be there immediately." Castiel said and Dean sits up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, come on, man. We just drove like sixteen hours straight, okay? (y/n) and I are humans. And there's stuff we got to do." Dean said.

"What stuff?" Castiel asked. "Eat, for example. In this case, sleep. We just need like four hours once in a while, okay?" Dean said. "Yes." Castiel said. "Okay, so, you can pop in tomorrow morning." Dean said. "Yes. I'll just—" Castiel said and Dean hangs up and sets his phone on the table by him.

"—wait here, then." Castiel said as he hears the dial tone then he shuts the phone and stands at the side of the road.

The couple were curled up to each other and were close to sleep when Dean's phone vibrates. "Seriously?" Dean grumbled, annoyed, while (y/n) sighed then leans over Dean to reach for his phone. "I'll tell him off." (Y/n) growled as she grabbed his phone.

"Well, look at you, taking control. Pretty hot, not gonna lie." Dean teased, flirtatiously, and smacks her ass. "You know, for someone that claimed they were tired, you sure are acting pretty frisky now." (y/n) said. "Always with you." He said, giving her a wink as she answers the phone. "Cas, I'm only gonna say this once, Dean and I need sleep!" she growls. "(Y/n), it's me." a familiar voice said, that wasn't Castiel nor was it Ariel's.

(y/n) sits up. "Sam? It's quarter past four." she said, confused, while Dean sits up as well at the mention of his brother's name. "This is important." Sam said.

Later, (y/n) put Sam on speaker and Dean grabs a couple of beers out of the fridge and hands one to (y/n). "So, you're his vessel, huh? Lucifer's wearing you to the prom?" (y/n) asked. "That's what he said." Sam said. "Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh, Sammy?" Dean asked, sarcastically.

"So, that's it? That's your response?" Sam asked. "What are you looking for?" Dean asked. "I don't know. A—a little panic? Maybe?" Sam said. "I guess I'm a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point. Cause we also found out, not long ago, that (y/n) is Ariel’s vessel." Dean said. "What?!" Sam exclaimed. "Yeah, but unlike you two, I'm not forced to say yes to her. She said I'm a last resort if Lucifer and Michael get both of you." (Y/n) said.

"What are we gonna do about it?" Sam asked. "What do you want to do about it?" Dean asked back. "I want back in, for starters." Sam said. "Sam—" Dean said but Sam talks over him. "I mean it. I am sick of being a puppet to these sons of bitches. I'm gonna hunt him down, guys." He said.

"Oh, so, we're back to revenge, then, are we? Yeah, 'cause that worked out so well last time." Dean said, sarcastically. "Not revenge. Redemption." Sam said and Dean takes his phone out of (y/n)'s hand.

"So, what, you're just gonna walk back in and we're gonna be the terriffic trio again?" Dean asked. "Look, Dean, I can do this. I can. I'm gonna prove it to you." Sam said. "Look, Sam—it doesn't matter—whatever we do. I mean, it turns out that you and me, we're the, uh, the fire and the oil of the Armageddon. You know, on that basis alone, we should just pick a hemisphere. Stay away from each other for good." Dean said and (y/n)'s eyes widen at this.

"Dean, it does not have to be like this. We can fight it." Sam said, sounding a bit upset. "Yeah, you're right. We can. But not together. We're not stronger when we're together, Sam. I think we're weaker. Because whatever we have between us—love, family, whatever it is—they are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. Yeah, we're better off apart. We got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing, if we just go our own ways." Dean said.

"Dean, don't do this." Sam pleads. "Bye, Sam." Dean said and he hangs up. "You don't mean that." (Y/n) said as Dean turns away from her. "Yes, I do." He said and (y/n) stands up. “You know what? I’m tired of biting my tongue here, Dean.” (Y/n) said and Dean shakes his head at her. “(Y/n) I’m tired. Let’s just go to sleep and talk about this later.” He muttered.

“No! We’re having this talk now. I know you miss him.” (Y/n) said and Dean shakes his head again, as if such an idea was idiotically. “You do, Dean. It’s written all over your face!” She said. “Oh is it?” Dean asked, in a deadpan tone. “I miss him too and I’m sure he misses us.” (Y/n) said. “That’s sweet.” Dean said, sarcastically. (Y/n) let out a huff, becoming really irritated with his attitude.

“And you’re being really stubborn about keeping him away.” She said, trying her best to remain calm. “I’m doing this for you and him.” Dean declared. “You know what you just said to him, how we're better when we're apart. It’s a bunch of crap.” (Y/n) growled. “It’s the truth!” Dean said, his voice rising. “Being apart is what started the apocalypse in the first place!” (Y/n) exclaimed. “What started the apocalypse, was him listening to Ruby over us!” Dean shouted.

“No, what started the apocalypse was you going to hell!” (Y/n) yelled, instantly regretting her words. Dean stares at her in shock then turns his back on her, so she can’t see his face.

(Y/n) slowly reaches towards him then looks down, ashamed for what she said. “I’m sorry. That went too far.” She said, apologetically, then raises her head to look at him. “But think about it, Dean. Every time crap hits the fan is when we’re apart.” She said.

“You know what I think?” Dean asked, keeping his back towards her. (Y/n) held her breath, a little in premonition. Dean turns to look at her with a hard glare. “It sounds like I should have never sold my soul for you.” He said in a bitter tone, his anger making him feel justified in his words.

(Y/n)'s eyes widen, so shock she’s almost frozen for a moment, unsure of how to react. “Maybe you shouldn’t have.” She mumbled, tears welling up in her eyes. Dean continues to glare at her, not seeming to realize his mistake.

(Y/n) turns, staggering for a moment, and hastily walks towards the door. “Where are you going?” Dean asked. “I’m getting my own room.” (Y/n) replied, sharply, opening the door and walking out. “(Y/n)!” Dean yelled after her but she slams the door behind her. Dean turns away, running his hands through his hair, irritably. “Damnit!” He exclaimed, kicking over a chair.

(Y/n) enters her room, that was located on the other side of the motel, as far away from Dean’s room as possible. She drops the room key on the table and nearly collapse when she reaches the bed.

Her hands were shaking and whole body was trembling as she was still reeling from what Dean said to her. She takes out her cellphone and keeps her hands steady just enough to dial Sam’s number.

She held the phone to her ear with one hand and held her other hand to her lips, trying to keep herself from breaking down. “Hello.” Sam said when he answers. “S-Sam.” (Y/n) stammered, tears escaping from her eyes so easily. “(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” Sam asked, in a concerned tone. “I-I…” (Y/n) tried to say, but she was unable to form the words and she starts to cry. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s alright, I’m right here.“ Sam said, softly.

“You're not.” (Y/n) said through her tears and Sam sighs. “I know. But I’m still here to talk to. And if I have to, I’ll drive all night to you so you can have a shoulder to cry on.” He said and (Y/n) smiles a little.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Sam said and (Y/n) sniffs, roughly wiping her cheek. “I’ll try. It all started after Dean got off the phone with you…”

Meanwhile, Dean wakes up and finds himself lying on the springs of the hotel bed; the mattress gone. He gets up and looks around to see that the entire room is trashed. He looks out the window to see that so is the city. Dean leaves the hotel and takes a look around; the area is devastated, everything broken or graffitied on or both.

He hears something, like glass smashing. He goes to investigate. The first sign of life Dean sees is a girl in an alley with a teddy bear. He approaches her slowly. "Little girl? Little girl?" he called out but the girl doesn't respond. "Are you hurt?" he asked the girl but again the girl says nothing.

"You know the not-talking thing is kind of creepy, right?" Dean said but blood starts to drip from the girl's mouth. The girl shrieks and attacks Dean with a shard of glass. He flattens her and looks around, catching sight of a large piece of graffiti: it reads "CROATOAN". "Oh, crap." he mutters.

Several people, all most likely infected with the Croatoan virus the same as the girl, come around the corner and he runs. They chase him onto a street blocked by a chain-link fence until several soldiers on tanks arrive, shooting the infected people.

As more infected people fall from the gunshots, Dean stays under cover and retreats to an alley and breaks through the fence. A sign on the fence reads:

CROATOAN

VIRUS

HOT ZONE

NO ENTRY

BY ORDER OF ACTING REGIONAL COMMAND

AUGUST 1, 2014

KANSAS CITY

"August first, 2014." Dean reads then he goes over to a nearby cat and hotwires it.

Night had fallen as Dean drives around. There is no cell service and only static on the radio. "That's never a good sign." Dean mutters to himself. "Croatoan pandemic reaches Australia." A voice said, startling Dean. He turns and sees Zachariah sitting in the shotgun seat, reading a newspaper.

"I thought I smelled your stink on this Back to the Future crap." Dean grumbles. "President Palin defends bombing of Houston." Zachariah reads then he chuckles. "Certainly a buyer's market in real estate. Let's see what's happening in sports. That's right—no more sports. Congress revoked the right to group assembly. What's left of Congress, that is. Hardly a quorum, if you ask me." He said.

"How did you find me?" Dean asked him. "Afraid we had to tap some unorthodox resources of late—human informants. We've been making inspirational visits to the fringier Christian groups. They've been given your image, told to keep an eye out." Zachariah said and Dean has a look of realization on his face. "The Bible freak outside the motel—he, what, dropped a dime on me?" Dean asked and Zachariah smiles. "Onward, Christian soldiers." he chuckles and Dean scoffs and shakes his head.

"And where's (y/n)?" Dean asked him. "We left her alone. Seemed that she was very upset." Zachariah said and Dean frowns and does everything to bite his tongue, but the feeling of guilt was settling in his chest. "It looked like there was...what is it you humans say...trouble in paradise?" Zachariah said, a bit of a smirk on his face, and Dean grips the steering wheel, tighter.

The angel takes notice of this and he decided to keep pushing. "What did you do to her by the way? Hm?" Zachariah asked and Dean grits his teeth. "She finally had enough of you? Were you unable to fornicate with her?" Zachariah asked and Dean turns his head. "Shut up!" Dean growled and the Angel laughs.

"When the time comes, I'll make sure I'm the one who kills you." Dean threatened. "Oh, really? You kill me? Now that would be something." Zachariah laughs and Dean glares at him. "Okay, you've had your jollies. Now send me back, you son of a bitch." Dean growls. "Oh, you'll get back—all in good time. We want you to marinate a bit." Zachariah said.

"Marinate?" Dean asked. "Three days, Dean. Three days to see where this course of action takes you." said Zachariah. "What's that supposed to mean?" asked Dean. "It means that your choices have consequences. This is what happens to the world if you continue to say no to Michael. Have a little look-see." Zachariah said then he vanishes.

The next morning, Dean opens the door to Bobby's house. "Bobby? Bobby, I'm coming in!" he calls out as he looks around. The place is pretty thoroughly trashed, and from the spiderwebs and dust, no one has been around in a while. "Oh, no." he whispers as he sees Bobby's wheelchair on its side. Dean sets it upright and sees the bullet holes through and dried blood on the back of the seat.

"Where is everybody, Bobby?" Dean said then he opens a hidden compartment and pulls out Bobby's journal. He finds a photo of Bobby with Castiel, threeunidentified men, and a sign. "Camp Chitaqua." He mutters.

Dean approaches the sign from the photo to see men with guns are just inside the fence, patrolling. Dean does his best to stay out of sight. He catches sight of the Impala, smashed up and rusted to hell.

"Oh, baby, no." He said, despairingly, as he approaches the Impala for a better look at the damage, peering inside the driver's side door. "Oh, no, baby, what did they do to you?" he asked when he hears something and has barely turned to look when he is knocked out by another Dean, identified by the military-issue green jacket he is wearing instead of Dean's blue shirt.

Dean wakes up and discovers he is handcuffed to a ladder. He looks across the room to see himself cleaning a gun. "What the hell?" Dean asked as his Future-Self glares at him. "I should be asking that question, don't you think? In fact, why don't you give me one good reason why I shouldn't gank you right here and now?" he asked. "Because you'd only be hurting yourself." Dean said. "Very funny." Future Dean sneered.

"Look, man—I'm no shapeshifter or demon or anything, okay?" Dean said. "Yeah, I know. I did the drill while you were out. Silver, salt, holy water—nothing. But you know what was funny? Was that you had every hidden lockpick, box cutter, and switchblade that I carry. Now, you want to explain that? Oh, and the, uh, resemblance, while you're at it?" Dean asked. "Zachariah." Dean replied and Future Dean stands up.

"Come again?" he asked. "I'm you from the tail end of 2009. Zach plucked me from my bed and threw me five years into the future." Dean replied. "Where is he? I want to talk to him." Future Dean demanded. "I don't know." Dean said. "Oh, you don't know." Future Dean growls. "No, I don't know. Look, I just want to get back to my own friggin' year, okay?" Dean yells. "Okay. If you're me, then tell me something only I would know." Future Dean demanded.

Dean thinks, then smirks. "Rhonda Hurley. We were, uh, nineteen. She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it." Dean said and his future self kinda smirked. "Touché." he said then he sighs.

"So, what, Zach zapped you up here to see how bad it gets?" he asked. "I guess. Croatoan virus, right? That's their endgame?" Dean asked. "It's efficient, it's incurable, and it's scary as hell. Turns people into monsters. Started hitting the major cities about two years ago. World really went in the crapper after that." Future Dean replied

"What about Sam and (y/n)?" Dean asked and his future self goes still. "Heavyweight showdown in Detroit. From what I understand, Sam didn't make it." Future Dean said. "You weren't with him?" Dean asked. "No. No, me and Sam, we haven't talked in—hell, five years." Future Dean replied.

"We never tried to find him?" Dean asked. "We had other people to worry about." Future Dean said. "And (y/n)?" Dean asked, a bit nervously, and his Future Self's eyes shifts a bit before responding. "She's...gone." he replied. "Gone? What do you mean gone?" Dean asked and Future Dean glares at him then starts to walk away.

"Where you going?" Dean asked him. "I got to run an errand." Future Dean said. "Whoa. You're just gonna leave me here?" Dean asked him. "Yes. I got a camp full of twitchy trauma survivors out there with an apocalypse hanging over their head. The last thing they need to see is a version of The Parent Trap. So, yeah, you stay locked down." Future Dean said as he stops and turns to him again. "Okay. All right. Fine. But you don't have to cuff me, man." Dean yells and his future self goes to walk away again.

"Oh, come on. You don't trust yourself?" Dean asked as his future self gets to the door, stops and turns. "No. Absolutely not." He replied then he leaves. "Dick." Dean grumbles then he pries a nail out of the floorboards and uses it to remove the handcuffs.

Minutes later, he glances around the camp when someone comes up behind him. "Hey, Dean. You got a second?" a voice asked and Dean turns around to see that it was Chuck. "No—yes. Uh, I—I guess. Hi, Chuck." Dean said, shaking his head. "Hi. So, uh, listen, we're pretty good on canned goods for now, but we're down to next to nothing on perishables and—and hygiene supplies. People are not gonna be happy about this. So, what do you think we should do?" Chuck asked him.

"I—I don't know. Maybe, uh, share? You know, like at a kibbutz." Dean replied, shrugging. "Wait a minute, aren't you supposed to be out on a mission right now?" Chuck asked, confused. "Absolutely. And I will be." Dean said and he hears some footsteps behind him.

He turns to see a woman walking up to him. "Hello, Dean." She greets. "Hey, uh..." Dean stops. "Risa." Chuck whispered to him. "Risa." Dean said. "So, I was wondering...did you ever give my proposal a thought?" She asked, a seductive smile on her lips. Dean slightly shakes his head in confusion. "What?" He asked and she let's out a small giggle.

"You know...about...you know...you and me..." she asked and Dean catches on. "Look, sweetheart, I appreciate it but...I'm a one woman man." Dean said and Risa let's out a harsh scoff. "Seriously? You're still holding onto that vegetable?!" She asked, angry and annoyed, and Dean gives her a confused look. "Come again?" He asked. "I mean, I can do so much more than her!" She yells. "I don't understand..." Dean started to say but Risa huffs out a breath. "Screw you." she growls and she walks past him.

"Oh, jeez. I'm getting bitched at for stuff I haven't even done yet." Dean exclaims. "What?" Chuck asked. "Uh, never mind. Hey, Chuck, is...Cas still here?" Dean asked him. "Yeah. I don't think Cas is going anywhere." Chuck said.

Chuck leads Dean to another cabin and he enters. Castiel is sitting in a circle with several women. "So, in this way. We're each a fragment of total perception—just, uh, one compartment in that dragonfly eye of group mind. Now, the key to this total, shared perception—it's, um, it's surprisingly physical." He said then he spots Dean. "Oh. Excuse me, ladies. I think I need to confer with our fearless leader for a minute. Why not go get washed up for the orgy?" Castiel said and this takes Dean aback as the women leave.

"You're all so beautiful." Castiel compliments the women and he stands and stretches his back, grunting. "What are you, a hippie?" Dean asked him. "I thought you'd gotten over trying to label me." Castiel grumbles.

"Cas, we got to talk." Dean said and Castiel looks at him. "Whoa. Strange." he said, surprised. "What?" Dean asked. "You...are not you. Not now you, anyway." said Castiel. "No! Yeah. Yes, exactly." Dean said.

"What year are you from?" Castiel asked him. "2009." Dean replied. "Who did this to you? Is it Zachariah?" Castiel asked. "Yes." Dean said. "Interesting." Castiel said, fascinated. "Oh, yeah, it's friggin' fascinating. Now. Why don't you strap on your angel wings and fly me back to my page on the calendar?" Dean asked. "I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings, but I'm sorry, no dice." Castiel said.

"What, are you stoned?" Dean asked. "Uh, generally, yeah." Castiel replied. "What happened to you?" Dean asked and Castiel shrugs. "Life." he said and Dean sighs and runs his hands over his face.

"Okay, what about Ariel? Is she here? If she is can you take me to her..." Dean asked but he noticed the look of sadness on his face. "What?" Dean asked. "Ariel...that's a name I haven't heard in awhile...." Castiel said, downtrodden. "Why? What happened to her?" Dean asked, curiously.

Castiel look back at him, the sadness reflecting in his eyes. "She's dead." He said, softly, and Dean's eyes widen in shock. "Dead? How?" Dean asked. Castiel stares at him with this sad puppy dog eyes and was about to speak when they hear the sounds vehicles coming.

They walk out to see a car and a jeep had arrived and Future Dean and some soldiers climb out. Future Dean grabs two beers and tosses one to a soldiers. They both open the beers and drink but then Future Dean draws his gun and points it at that soldier.

"Hey. Hey! Watch out!" Dean shouts as he runs but Future Dean shoots the soldier. Dean runs up too late and the survivors looked between the two Deans. "Damn it." Future Dean grumbles then he addresses the soldiers. "I'm not gonna lie to you. Me and him—It's a pretty messed-up situation we got going. But believe me, when you need to know something, you will know it. Until then, we all have work to do." he said.

Later, Future Dean shoves Dean into the room and shuts the door behind them. "What the hell was that?" Future Dean asked him, angrily. "What the hell was that? You just shot a guy in cold blood." Dean yelled back, angrily. "We were in an open quarantine zone. Got ambushed by some Croats on the way out." Future Dean said and Dean's expression asks for an explanation.

"Croats. Croatoans. One of them infected Yeager." Future Dean clarifies. "How do you know?" Dean asked him. "'Cause after a few years of this, I know. I started seeing symptoms about a half an hour ago. Wasn't gonna be long before he flipped. I didn't see the point in troubling a good man with bad news." Future Dean said. "Troubling a good man? You just blew him away in front of your own people. Don't you think that freaked them out a little bit?" Dean asked.

"It's 2014. Plugging some Croat, it's called commonplace. Trading words with my friggin' clone—that might have freaked them out a little." Future Dean growls. "All right, look—" Dean started to say but Future Dean talks over him. "No, you look. This isn't your time. It's mine. You don't make the decisions. I do. So, when I say stay in, you stay in." Future Dean yelled, angrily.

"All right, man. I'm sorry. Look, I—I'm not trying to mess you—me—us up here." Dean said, apologetically, and his Future self sighs and calms down. "I know." he said and he pours two glasses of alcohol.

"It's just been a really wacky weekend." Dean said. "Tell me about it." Future Dean said as he hands the other glass to Dean and they drink.

"What was the mission, anyway?" Dean asked him and Future Dean pulls out a gun; it's the Colt. "The Colt?" Dean said, shocked. "The Colt." Future Dean said, firmly. "Where was it?" Dean asked him. "Everywhere. They've been moving it around. Took me five years, but...I finally got it. And tonight—tonight, I'm gonna kill the devil." Future Dean said.

"So, that's it? That's the Colt?" Risa asked after her and Castiel come in in the room with the two Deans'. "If anything can kill Lucifer, this is it." Future Dean said. "Great. Have we got anything that can find Lucifer?" Risa asked, a bit annoyed, and Future Dean turns to her.

"Are you okay?" He asked her. "Oh, she's mad about how you won't give her a chance cause you are hung up on some vegetable...?" Dean said, questionable, and his future self turns his head, sharply, to him. "You want to shut up?" He asked, angrily, and Dean raises his hands in surrender.

"And Risa, you know not to call her that and I'm not gonna give up on her. Is that clear?" Future Dean said, firmly, and Risa frowns then turns her head away. "Anyway...We don't have to find Lucifer. We know where he is. The demon that we caught last week, he was one of the big guy's entourage. He knew." Future Dean said.

"So, a demon tells you where Satan's gonna be, and you just believe it?" Risa asked him, disbelieving. "Oh, trust me, he wasn't lying." Future Dean said. "And you know this how?" Risa asked. "Our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth." Castiel said and Dean turns to his future self.

"Torture?" Dean asked and neither Castiel nor future Dean respond. "Oh, so, we're—we're torturing again." Dean grumbles and his Future self looks at him. "No, that's—that's good. Classy." Dean said, sarcastically, and Castiel laughs. Future Dean looks at him. "What? I like past you." Castiel said, defensively, and Future Dean rolls his eyes.

"Lucifer is here. Now. I know the block and I know the building." Future Dean said. "Oh, good—it's right in the middle of a hot zone." said Castiel. "Crawling with Croats, yeah. You saying my plan is reckless?" Future Dean asked him. "Are you saying we, uh, walk in straight up the driveway, past all the demons and the Croats, and we shoot the devil?" Castiel asked. "Yes." Future Dean said.

"Okay, if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use 'insouciant', maybe." Castiel said. "Are you coming?" Future Dean asked him and Castiel sighs. "Of course. But why is he? I mean, he's you five years ago. If something happens to him, you're gone, right?" Castiel asked as he gestures to Dean.

"He's coming." Future Dean said, firmly. "Okay. Well, uh. I'll get the grunts moving." Castiel said. "We're loaded and on the road by midnight." Future Dean said. "All righty." Castiel said and he and Risa leave but Castiel turns to Future Dean. "You gonna see her before you leave?" He asked him.

Future Dean stares at him, looks over at Dean, as if he was thinking of something, then turns back to Castiel. "Yes." He replied and Castiel nods before he walks out.

"Why are you taking me?" Dean asked his future self. "Relax. You'll be fine. Zach's looking after you, right?" Future Dean asked. "No, that's not what I mean. I want to know what's going on. And who is her?" Dean asked him. "Yeah, okay. You're coming because I want you to see something. But first, there is someone I want you to see." Future Dean said.

Minutes later, Future Dean takes Dean into a small building, a bit away from the other buildings, and they enter it. Inside, unlike other buildings, there was only one bed in the middle of the room which had one occupant in it.

Dean furrows his brow at this as his future self starts to walk towards the bed. He slowly walks up to the figure and kneels down to the front of the figure. "Hey, (y/n)." Future Dean said in a soft, quiet voice. Dean was taken aback by this and he slowly walks around to the side.

His eyes widen and he jumped slightly at the sight before him. The (y/n) that was sitting on the bed looked guant and weak, nothing like the (y/n) Dean knew. She also looked like she wasn't there, mentally. She looked lost.

She raises her head, slowly, once she heard future Dean's voice. There was a twitch of a smile on her lips as she looks at future Dean.

"Hey, baby." Future Dean said to her, softly. She raises a hand and places it on his cheek. "I've come by to let you know that I'm heading out again. I'm gonna take out and kill those sons of bitches that did this to you." Future Dean said to her. Then he leaves a long, lingering kiss on her forehead.

The short amount of time Dean had spent with his future self, this was the first time he had seen him look and sound vulnerable. "You should rest, sweetheart." Future Dean said to (y/n) and he starts to stand up but she grabs his arm.

"Don't...go..." (y/n) said, weakly. It honestly freaked Dean out on how (y/n) spoke. She not only looked awful but she sounded just as bad if not worse. She looked and sounded like she aged 70-80 years.

"Honey, I have to. I found the Colt." Future Dean said as he places a hand over hers. "Colt?" (Y/n) asked and Future Dean nods. "Yes, and I'm gonna kill him with it." He assures her and she continues to look at him. "I need to go, sweetheart." Future Dean said but she doesn't remove her hand off of his arm.

"Don't...go...Don't...go..." (y/n) repeated until she started to become hysterical and was hitting Future Dean's chest with a weak fist and he tries to calm her down but that just upsets her more and she begins to scream and cry.

Dean was horrified at this as Future Dean digs into his pocket with his free hand and pulls out a needle. "No!" Dean shouts but Future Dean sticks the needle into her neck. She stops, calms down then starts to slump forward. Future Dean catches her in his arms and she passes out then he starts to carry her back to her bed.

"What the hell did you do to her?!" Dean asked his future self as he set (y/n) back down on the bed. "Had to sedate her." Future Dean replied, plainly, then he stands up and looks back at Dean. "What happened to her? You said she was gone!" Dean yelled as he walks over towards his future self.

"Yeah, mentally. Physically, no. You see she was my partner when the Croats started to rise. We became leaders to the people. But a few months back, she was captured by some demons. We couldn't find her for months until just about a month ago when me and few men raided an old house and found some demons inside. We took care of the ones that didn't run off then we searched the house until we found her. I don't know what kind of torture method they used on her but we found her like this." Future Dean explained as he gestures towards the passed out (y/n).

"Why didn't you kill her? You killed a man earlier, no hesitation, but her you've kept locked away?!" Dean asked, confused. "Because I couldn't bring myself to do it, okay!!" Future Dean yells and Dean leans back a bit. "So you wanted me to see her?" Dean asked. "Yes, and I also want you to see our brother." Future Dean said and Dean furrows his brow.

"Sam? I thought he was dead." He said. "Sam didn't die in Detroit. He said 'yes'." Future Dean said. "Yes?" Dean asked and there was a long silence between them until Dean realized what he meant.

"Wait. You mean—"

"That's right. The big 'yes'. To the devil. Lucifer's wearing him to the prom." Future Dean said. "Why would he do that?" Dean asked. "Wish I knew. But now we don't have a choice. It's in him, and it's not getting out. And we've got to kill him, Dean. And you need to see it—the whole damn thing, how bad it gets—so you can do it different." Future Dean explained.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked. "Zach said he was gonna bring you back, right? To oh-nine?" Future Dean asked. "Yeah." Dean said. "Well, when you get back home—you say 'yes'. You hear me? Say 'yes' to Michael." Future Dean said. "That's crazy. If I let him in, then Michael fights the devil. The battle's gonna torch half the planet. That is if Ariel doesn't stop it." said Dean.

"Look around you, man. Half the planet's better than no planet, which is what we have now. If I could do it over again, I'd say 'yes' in a heartbeat." Future Dean said. "So why don't you?" Dean asked. "I've tried! I've shouted 'yes' till I was blue in the face! The angels aren't listening! They just—left—gave up! It's too late for me, but for you—" Future Dean said and Dean shakes his head.

"Oh, no. There's got to be another way." He said. "Yeah, that's what I thought. I was cocky. Never actually thought I'd lose. But I was wrong. Dean. I was wrong. I'm begging you. Say yes." Future Dean said then there was another long pause. "But you won't. 'Cause I didn't. Because that's just not us, is it?" Future Dean asked.

"So, you're really from oh-nine?" Chuck asked Dean as they head to the vehicles that night. "Yeah, afraid so." Dean said. "Some free advice? You ever get back there, you hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it. Hoard it like it's made of gold. 'Cause it is." Chuck said and Dean turns his head to him. "Thank you, Chuck." he said.

"Oh, you'll thank me, all right. Mark my words." Chuck said. "I'll see you around." Dean tells him as he pats his shoulder. "Yeah. Okay." Chuck said as Dean gets in one of the vehicles and they drive off.

Dean is riding shotgun in Castiel's car and sees Castiel taking some pills. "Let me see those." Dean said, holding his hand out. "You want some?" Castiel asked as he hands the bottle to him and Dean reads the label. "Amphetamines?" he asked. "It's the perfect antidote to that absinthe." Castiel said.

"Mmm. Don't get me wrong, Cas. I, uh. I'm happy that the stick is out of your ass, but—what's going on—w-with the drugs and the orgies and the love-guru crap?" Dean asked him and Castiel laughs. "What's so funny?" Dean asked, confused.

"Dean, I'm not an angel anymore." Castiel informed, shocking Dean. "What?" he asked. "Yeah, I went mortal." Castiel said. "What do you mean? How?" Dean asked. "I think it had something to do with the other angels leaving. But when they bailed, my mojo just kind of— psshhew!—drained away. And now, you know, I'm practically human. I mean, Dean, I'm all but useless. Last year, broke my foot, laid up for two months." Castiel said. "Wow." Dean mutters. "Yeah." Castiel replied.

"So, you're human. Well, welcome to the club." Dean said. "Thanks. Except I used to belong to a much better club. And now I'm powerless. I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It's the end, baby. That's what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out? But then that's, that's just how I roll." Castiel said, shrugging.

"How did Ariel die?" Dean asked him and Castiel sighs. "She, stupidly, went after Lucifer after Sam said yes to him. She thought she'd be strong enough to stop him but..." Castiel stops, bites his lips then swallows. "I'm sorry." Dean said and Castiel nods a bit.

Later, Dean, Future Dean, Castiel, Risa and a few other soldiers walk towards the sanitarium, carrying guns and scanning the area. "There. Second-floor window. We go in there." Future Dean said as they got closer to the building. "You sure about this?" Risa asked him. "They'll never see us coming. Trust me. Now, weapons check. We're on the move in five." Future Dean said.

"Hey, uh, me. Can I talk to you for a sec?" Dean said and he and his Future-Self go off to the side. "Tell me what's going on." Dean said. "What?" Future Dean asked, playing dumb. "I know you. You're lying to these people and to me." Dean said. "Is that so." Future Dean said.

"Yeah. See, I know your lying expressions. I've seen them in the mirror. Now, there's something you're not telling us." Dean growls. "I don't know what you're talking about." Future Dean said, continuing to playing dumb. "Oh, really? Well, I don't seem to be the only member of your posse with some questions, so, uh, maybe I'll just take my doubts over to them." Dean said and he starts to walk away but Future Dean stops him. "Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait." He said and Dean turns to him.

"What?" Dean asked. "Take a look around you, man. This place should be white-hot with Croats. Where are they?" Future Dean asked him and Dean looks around. "They cleared a path for us. Which means that this is—" Dean said and his future self nods. "A trap. Exactly." he said.

"Well, then we can't go through the front." Dean said. "Oh, we're not. They are. They're the decoys. You and me, we're going in through the back." Future Dean said. "You mean you're gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas, too? You want to use their deaths as a diversion?" Dean asked and his Future-Self looks away.

"Oh, man, something is broken in you. You're making decisions that I would never make. I wouldn't sacrifice my friends." Dean said. "You're right. You wouldn't. It's one of the main reasons we're in this mess, actually." Future Dean said. "These people count on you. They trust you." Dean said, desperately. "They trust me to kill the devil and to save the world and that's exactly what I'm gonna do." Future Dean growls. "No. Not like this, you're not. I'm not gonna let you." Dean said, firmly.

"Oh, really?" Future Dean asked. "Yeah." Dean said before his Future-Self slugs him in the face, knocking him out.

Dean wakes up on the ground and hears gunfire in the building and runs toward it. Thunder crashes, lightning flashes, and Dean sees his Future-Self on the ground, neck held down by a person wearing a white suit. Future Dean opens his eyes and sees Dean until the person shifts his weight, breaking Future Dean's neck. The person, Dean sees, is Sam but not; it's Lucifer. He turns around and sees Dean.

"Oh. Hello, Dean." Lucifer greets as Dean stares at him. "Aren't you a surprise." Lucifer said then in a flash of lightning and a roar of thunder, he is now behind Dean. "You've come a long way to see this, haven't you?" Lucifer asked him.

"Well, go ahead. Kill me." Dean said as he turns to face him. "Kill you?" Lucifer asked, confused, then looks at the corpse of Future Dean. "Don't you think that would be a little...redundant?" Lucifer asked before he sighs. "I'm sorry. It must be painful, speaking to me in this—shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be." he said and he reaches for Dean's shoulder but Dean moves back.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, Dean. What do you think I'm going to do?" Lucifer asked. "I don't know. Maybe deep-fry the planet?" Dean said and Lucifer walks off to the side and examines a rose, but turns away. "Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing? Beautiful in a trillion different ways. The last perfect handiwork of God." he said but Dean doesn't answer.

"You ever hear the story of how I fell from grace?" Lucifer asked Dean as he turns to him. "Oh, good God, you're not gonna tell me a bedtime story, are you? My stomach's almost out of bile." Dean said, with sarcasm. "You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything. And then God created..." Lucifer said then he smirks. "You. The little...hairless apes. And then he asked all of us to bow down before you—to love you, more than him. And I said, Father, I can't. I said, These human beings are flawed, murderous. And for that, God had Michael cast me into hell. Now, tell me, does the punishment fit the crime? Especially, when I was right? Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it."

"You're not fooling me, you know that? With this sympathy-for-the-devil crap. I know what you are." Dean growls. "What am I?" Lucifer asked, curiously. "You're the same thing, only bigger. The same brand of cockroach I've been squashing my whole life. An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego." Dean spat and Lucifer smiles.

"I like you, Dean. I get what the other angels see in you. Goodbye. We'll meet again soon." He said and he turns to walk away. "You better kill me now!" Dean yells and Lucifer turns back.

"Pardon?" he asked. "You better kill me now. Or I swear, I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop." Dean said, sternly. "I know you won't. I know you won't say yes to Michael, either. And I know you won't kill Sam. Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here. I win. So, I win." Lucifer informs.

"You're wrong." Dean growls and Lucifer looks him over. "See you in five years, Dean." he said and he is gone once the thunder roars and the lightening strikes. Dean turns around and sees Zachariah behind him, reaching for his forehead with two fingers.

Dean leans against the kitchenette sink while Zachariah stands in front of him. "Oh, well, if it isn't the ghost of Christmas screw you." Dean growls. "Enough. Dean, enough. You saw it, right? You saw what happens. You're the only person who can prove the devil wrong. Just say yes." Zachariah said. "How do I know that this whole thing isn't one of your tricks? Huh? Some angel hocus-pocus?" Dean asked, suspiciously.

"The time for tricks is over. Give yourself to Michael. Say yes and we can strike. Before Lucifer gets to Sam. Before billions die." Zachariah said and Dean considers this for a long moment, turning away from Zachariah. "Nah." Dean said and Zachariah's face turns to slight anger.

"Nah? You telling me you haven't learned your lesson?" He asked and Dean turns to him. "Oh, I've learned a lesson, all right. Just not the one you wanted to teach." he said. "Well, I'll just have to teach it again! Because I got you now, boy, and I'm never letting you—" Zachariah said but then Dean is gone. "Son of a..." Zachariah growls, annoyed and angry.

Dean turns around and sees Castiel behind and they were on the side of the road. "That's pretty nice timing, Cas." Dean said. "We had an appointment." Castiel said and Dean puts a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Don't ever change." he said then he freezes. "What about (y/n)? She's still back there..." he said, slightly panicked.

But then they hear a noise and he turns around to see Ariel with (y/n). Seeing this, made Dean feel relief. "Oh, thank God." He said and he runs over to (y/n). "You're okay!" He said and he embraces (y/n), who was surprised by this. "Dean? What the...?" (Y/n) started to ask but Dean looks down into her eyes then leans in and gives her a kiss.

"(Y/n), I am so sorry for what I said. You're right. I was being stubborn." Dean said once he breaks the kiss to look at her. "Wh-What changed your mind?" She asked him and Dean stops as he stares at her, that image of her from 2014 flashed in his mind.

"I don't want to get into that right now." He said and (y/n) looks into his eyes then nods, slightly. "But...I want you to know that I love you, more than anything. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna let myself be so stubborn to the point I'll end up losing you." He said and she gives a small smile. "I love you, too. And I'm also sorry for things I've said." She said and she leans up and kisses him then they embrace each other.

"How did Zachariah find you?" Ariel asked and Dean looks up at her. "Long story. Let's just stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses from now on, okay?" he said and Ariel nods as Dean and (y/n) break the hug then he pulls out his phone.

"What are you doing?" Castiel asked as he walks up to them. "Something I should have done in the first place." Dean replied as he dials a number.

The next morning, Dean and (y/n) wait by the Impala, by a bridge, as another car pulls up. Sam gets out and the trio approach each other. "Sam." Dean said as (y/n) smiled at Sam. Dean pulls out Ruby's knife and Sam looks at it, nervously. Dean holds it out to Sam handle first. "If you're serious and you want back in...you should hang on to this. I'm sure you're rusty." Dean said and Sam takes the knife, he can't meet Dean's or (y/n)'s eyes.

"Look, man, I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm...whatever I need to be. But I was, uh—wrong." Dean said. "What made you change your mind?" Sam asked him. "Long story. The point is...maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human." Dean said as he gestures between the three of them.

"Thank you. Really. Thank you. I won't let you down." Sam said. "Oh, I know it. I mean, you are the third-best hunter on the planet." Dean said as he looks over at (y/n), who smirks, and Sam nods.

"So, what do we do now?" Sam asked him. "We make our own future." Dean said and (y/n) gives a soft chuckle. "Guess we have no choice." she said and Sam smiles a little. Then (y/n) goes over to Sam and hugs him, he hugs her back.

The trio back together once more.

@rach5ive @kitsun369 @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @ellie-andthemachine

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according2thelore · 2 months

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oh GOD that ask answer was everything i dreamed and more. es!dean literally cannot imagine the kind of torture sam went through with lucifer. (which, incidentally, is one reason why ls!sam could never really replace ls!dean with him. he wakes up hyperventilating in the middle of the night and that slender boy is not enough. he needs his mountain man of a brother who Knows what’s out there.) and that kills him because he needs to know Everything About Sam. but sam is so so right to keep it from him - i don’t think es!dean could live with the knowledge, say, that sam is raped one day. i think it would actually end him.

ugggh i lvoe this au so much. you are a genius.

GRAHH you're so right!!!

sam wakes up one night straight from a nightmare and stumbles into the hallway, needing to find dean's room. he runs into ES!Dean, who's all it's okay, sam. it can't hurt you, it's just a vision--because he doesn't know! ES!Sam's nightmares can be soothed with gentle hands on his neck and shoulders, brushing bangs out of his eyes, dean promising that they'll fix it, and sam's safe.

but LS!Sam is going to throw up because this isn't a fixable thing. he feels suffocated by ES!Dean's firm hands on wrists, held down, and he pushes him away, hard.

LS!Dean shoves ES!Dean further away like you can't restrain him like that and ES!Dean pales bc he things he's caught on: someone held sam captive, maybe because of his powers. how could LS!Dean have arrived so clearly late, late enough that sam still carries the scars into his dreams?

and LS!Dean keeps muttering about first stones and c'mon sammy breathe with me and look at me and this is real. and LS!Sam kind of crumples and shoves himself under LS!Dean's arm, trying to make himself small and holdable, and ES!Dean just stands there and burns.

because there is clearly something here that's not right. something that LS!Sam&Dean have survived together, learned how to deal with, spent years adjusting to each other, and that's something ES!Dean is starting to realize they'll never tell him.

sam has always been a little inaccessible--he used to refuse to tell dean details about his girlfriend-of-the-weeks, he kept stanford a secret until he got his acceptance letter, he wouldn't tell dean what he was writing in all of those notebooks--but never the truly big, life-or-death stuff. and now sam--LS!Sam, anyway--is inaccessible. and it kills dean. dean wants to shrivel up and die because sammy is his. his responsibility, his to watch out for, his to mend, his to kill for.

he has never felt more purposeless or rudderless than he does right now--watching someone else comfort sam.

what he doesn't know, of course, would kill him. the fact that sam asks to be locked into a cage in hell, and dean will let him. the century of torture and rape and psychological hell that sam went through is a chasm that dean will never be able to fix. he can build a bridge, but that's all he can do.

it would kill ES!Dean. and LS!Sam knows it. so he reaches out a shaky hand in the gap between LS!Dean's arm and body, where he's wrapped sam in a bear hug.

ES!Dean rushes forward and grabs it, life finally having meaning again as sammy looks up at him with bloodshot eyes, with fingers that shake, and a voice that cracks when he says, "i'm okay, dean. thank you. i'm fine."

AGH!!!! anon, you get it <3 <3 hurt/comfort is my FUCKING bread and butter!!!!!!!! esp when it goes both ways!! because with these bozos, it literally would be!!

-lizzy

#ask box #lizzy answers #ES/LS verse #anon <3

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deanoheartspie · 9 months

Text

Sunshine 4

Pairing: Cowboy Sheriff Dean x City Gal Reader

Summary: After your family cut you off, your great-aunt Laura invited you over to her ranch you often visited when you were just a child... You drive through the beautiful town until you accidentally graze a horse that just so happens to be the sheriffs...

Warnings: None

A/N: Let me know what you think and what your theories are!

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

DEAN'S POV

**BEEP** **BEEP** **BEEEEP**

Groaning I pull the extra pillow over my head as I bury my head in it. My head was pounding, the bright sun shining through the windows making it worse.

“Rise and shineee~” A voice sang out, awfully chirppy this morning. “Y/n. Go away” I grumbled gently pushing the woman who was now climbing up onto the bed shaking me awake.

She giggles. She fuckin giggles. Which if it were any other circumstance I probably would've cracked out a smile. “Y/n I swear to god-” I turn to lay on my back, and rub my eyes seeing her dressed in a nice pair of overalls with her y/h/c perfectly braided.

“Pay backs a bitch isn't it” She grins before walking off, her hips swaying side to side it was a nice view I had to admit. I shake my head getting my head out of the gutter before turning to my side seeing headache medicine and water on my nightstand.

Well thank you y/n...

I take the meds and down the water, checking my watch I already see im late on my routine which never really happens unless it's a bad night. Tossing some old jeans and a t-shirt with my boots and brown cowboy hat, I head downstairs seeing the lights on throughout the house.

“Wow son you look like shit” Clayton says from his arm chair, a news paper in hand.

“Clayton!” Laura shouted smacking the back of her husbands head. I tiredly chuckle “I feel like shit” I rub my temple, pouring some coffee into a mug.

The older man glances over and sets his newspaper down on the coffee table, “Go easy on Y/n please. She might not be good at this but it's because she's never had to do it before.” sure. I know I can be mean at times, but im not an asshole.

“Yes sir, I'll show her what she needs to know” Finshing up my coffee, I look over at her and gesture to the door walking out her following behind as I walk off to the stables.

°•°•°•°•°•°•

“Horses need to eat first, so you'll give them their grains and hay. Then some of these extra carrots.” I spoke as I pull out the bin of food and basket of carrots. Carefully watching over her, not wanting the woman to get her hand bit off.

Lilah the horse who she previously grazed, was giving the woman the biggest side eye i'd ever seen. I whistle at the tall horse, tilting my head “Be nice.” I warn when I notice Y/n stopped and watched me.

“Who would've thought big ole grumpy deano would protect me from a horse” She grins placing her hands on her hips, I roll my eyes “Well if you want your hand to get bit off, be my guest”

A messy long slow, morning goes by Y/n already covered in mud from the countless times she'd fallen and I've got to say it was much nicer to have someone to work with then do it all myself.

“You did pretty good for your first day” I compliment as we sit on one of the hay bales looking over the fields. She nods but stays quiet. I couldn't tell if it was the sun in her eye but her eyes were glossy.

I felt my heart drop, straight worry fills me as I face her seeing a tear stream down her face. Had I said something wrong? What had happened she had just been laughing not even a few minutes ago, hell she even wanted to race out to the field.

“Y/n... What's wrong?” I softly asked, gently wiping her eyes.

She shook her head and faked a smile, “Oh nothing, it's just quite beautiful out here can't help but make a woman cry” I hesitantly nod my head, still unsure but it wasn't my job to take care of her nor care too. Still I found myself worrying, not wanting to push it I leave it and get off the haybale after receiving a call.

“What? Again? I swear to god what is wrong with that man” I grumble, after hearing that Mr Andrews a 60 year old man who kept letting his unfriendly pitbull roam the town without it's owner.

I've always preferred dogs over cats, but after this pickles the dog might ruin it for me.

Sighing I hang out up, glancing at her offering my hand which thankfully you accepted, “Let's get you back...”

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Four fucking hours. Four fucking hours it took to chase down Mr pickles.

Which only put me in a deeper hole then I already was in, making me rush over to Lisa's seeing her glare. Thank the lords, Aurora jumped into my arms after noticing me.

“Hey pretty girl how are you?” I ask softly pushing her light brown hair behind her ears, The small girl was quick to ramble talking about preschool, her friends, the yucky lunch she had, pretty much anything a toddler can tell you. I send her to grab her bag leaving me with the darker haired woman, who was occupying herself by cleaning the kitchen.

“Why are you late this time?” She asked not bothering to spare me a glance, while she wiped down the counters.

“Work. I had to chase Mr pickles today” I mutter out, itching the back of my head praying that Aurora would hurry.

“Sure you did. You sure it wasn't a particular woman keeping you busy?”

Who was she talking about? I sure as hell didn't come from the bar with a woman but if I did it wouldn't have been her business. So that leaves y/n.

“Y/n? The girl at the ranch?”

Lisa's silence told me everything I needed to know and I shook my head letting out a huff. She has been on my ass for the past year, about all of this. I can't hang out with who I want to hang out with because she didn't like it, it got exhausting after awhile. Especially when we weren't even together anymore.

Aurora skipped down the stairs with her unicorn backpack, and her arms full with stuffed animals. “is Ben not coming?” I ask with a head tilt as I scoop up the 4-year-old.

“No he's staying at a friends house” Nodding I let the mother and daughter say goodbye before leaving as we head our way to the ranch.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

“Clay Clay!!” The little girl screached out hugging the older man.

“Ah I see what it is now” I act offended that I didn't get a greeting like that.

What I didn't notice was Y/n walking down the stairs until she came into my eye sight, she looked happier then before so it felt glad and relieved.

“Who's this little one?” She asks smiling down at Aurora.

“My daughter.”

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

----Tag list----

@deans-spinster-witch @leigh70 @mrsjenniferwinchester @ladysparkles78 @hobby27 @khaleesihavilliard @foxyjwls007 @lucidlivi @jc-winchester @globetrotter28 @beskarfilms @the141bandicoot @alysinwonderland-at-tea @randomgurl2326 @ambergoddess444 @westernwinchesters @lemmons1998 @julie040904 @nic-kolas @raisinggray @alternativeprincess

#jensen ackles #dean winchester #supernatural #dean x reader #dean x y/n #dean winchester series #dean winchester x female!reader #au! dean winchester #au!cowboy dean #cowboy dean #cowboy! dean #cowboy dean winchester #dean winchester x y/n #supernatural dean #dean winchester smut #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader

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bananamarshmallowz · 4 months

Text

I'm here to talk about Destiel...

The internet is a very funny place.

If you're in need of a good laugh, go to your favorite series, show, films what have you and ask what are you unpopular opinions with _said show_.

I have watched dozens of shows and always think I might be the only one, post that and see what happens.

I am a shipper but I normally don't talk or boast about what/who I ship, it's not relevant and it can be weird. I don't ship actors/real humans, that's crossing lines. Characters however, yes. Anyway, I have to bring up this one. One comment said "Destiel shouldn't have happened." Okay, I get that, people can get weird about it. Then they go on to say how every shipper claws and digs for stuff that isn't there.

And again, I'm not saying some people don't dig but not all gay/LGBTQ+ representation is completely shown in media. Mentioned maybe here and there, sure. But there's endless cis-straight-relationship romance movies, romance themes and what have you. Some series make really bad portrayals and give gay people a bad rap because they're the only representation. And don't get me wrong, sometimes we do dig and claw because we feel what they portray, or at least we think so. But sometimes we don't need to dig.

That same thread added the random siren or even the policeman from yellow fever had more chemistry than Dean and Cas ever have. - Him looking at the soldier's ass in Time After Time while walking in the store. Yes, those were weird scenes, why were they even shown? Great question, I don't know I'm just here. - And as for they have no chemistry... They won best chemistry award for TV... It doesn't get better than that.

This is more of a rant than I want but this is certainly one of my favorite shows. And I feel the need to say what's on my mind because I know I can't afford therapy, so this is the next best thing.

Oh yeah before I start this, I have read numerous comments accusing all the actors of horrendous things... - Firstly, they all have kids, and wives and love their kids so much. I don't think they would do anything to jeopardize that. So stop making up messed up shit. - Secondly, I don't want to believe other people make other people uncomfortable for fun, but some people do. But considering that they acted for more than 8 years together, I'm pretty sure working with people that are cool for that long, they all had a strong bond. And all the times that Jensen looks uncomfortable whenever Misha goes into or talks about Destiel, it's because technically they're not even allowed to say anything about the show regarding shipping characters because anything could've been true, it could've not been. If every actor were able to spoil their movie, we'd be out of movies but we aren't. And Jensen is a rather shy individual, funny enough. At the beginning of Supernatural he was 27, and Jared was 23. When Misha joined when he was 34. They were and still are wholesome and great people. Regardless, All of them would pull pranks and stuff on the show, they're friends, not some messed up whatever someone said, I'm blown away that people would even imply some things. You can look up any video of everyone being close with one another from hugs to dancing, to singing to whatever. So don't say "read the room" when they're just being themselves, I shift a lot when in public, does that mean I'm constantly uncomfortable? No. - THIRDLY, they were all lowkey scared of certain parts of supernatural, in 2017 they did an interview with Entertainment Weekly {this one} and said what the scariest episodes or concepts were at the time for them. Jared's was changelings, shapeshifters, demons possessing people, things that could be real but possibly something posing as someone but something's off. Jensen's was people doing really messed up things and that it was the most realistic thing that could actually happen. Humans being psycho. And vintage dolls, lmao, same. And Misha said that everything could give him nightmares. He's so soft, any of it could give him nightmares. These guys are human. Not some terrible against religion people, they play on a show. Pure human. Just like everyone else.

ANYWAY, I think we all know the infamous eye sex scenes LMAO... if you haven't heard of them... {here's 10 minutes of them staring at each other} and that's not even all the seasons

They always look each other up and down and just stare at each other.

Above, Dean says "Cas, we talked about this. Personal space." and then Cas backs off. He doesn't know why, he just knows it makes Dean uncomfortable, so to make him more comfortable, he takes a few steps back. But Cas isn't aware of how complicated humans are. Personal space are just words, angels shouldn't care what humans have to say. They're so primal and they need more than just basic shelter and foods, they need the whole pyramid of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. He doesn't understand this until he goes through it himself, but we're getting slightly off topic. Sure, them continuing to stare could be just a funny little thing at the start... no. It still happens up to the last episodes.

This is the musical episode, Fanfiction, Season 10, Episode 5. Destiel, Samstiel and the most dreaded Sam/Dean are mentioned... They're brothers. As someone with siblings... gross.

"You can't spell subtext without S-E-X." Then Jensen gave this look to the camera, I think this is on behalf of many of the people on the show.

Below, they end a scene after talking but it's about 15 seconds of them just staring at each other then it ends. Personally, I'm not a big fan of eye contact, and try to make at least 5 or maybe 2 seconds of contact in between interacting with someone, anything more than 10 is past uncomfortable... I don't stare at anyone this long. Legit the scene is so long lmao

I don't remember the context on this but I just don't like eye contact. Both their eyes are gorgeous but I don't stare like this, especially with any of my siblings. When they have a hard time I hug them if they want a hug, talk to them, but I don't make eye contact like that.

I have never looked at my friends like this, not my best friends, certainly not my siblings. Someone I had a crush on, possibly.

Next, they are going in as Texas Rangers and Dean explains how to get Cas into character. "Yeah. Look, just act like you're from Tombstone, okay?" "The city?" "With Kurt Russell? I made you watch it." "Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The one with the guns and tuberculosis." [in a deep cowboy voice] "I'm your Huckleberry." [gulps] "Yeah, exactly.-"

I don't have anything other than I like that scene and how Cas says, "I'm your Huckleberry" :D

(SPOILERS AHEAD Whoops lol)

When Cas dies Dean tries to pray to God even though he swore off praying to God. One of the lines is "We've lost everything." Mary's gone, correct but everyone else is alive, except Cas. They still had the Bunker, Baby, Jack. Cas and Mary died (she fell through and there was no way to know she was alive.) But considering that Sam is still alive, the guy Dean has fought tooth and nail to save all these years, is standing by him, ready to fight what may come. But Cas is dead... Dean obliterates his hand from punching on a bathroom door. It's frankly the most punches he's made in a single scene I think and even then, God doesn't answer him so he begins to mourn. It creeps in that his friend is gone.

When Cas is being burned, at first it peers to Jack who sees the man who is supposed to be his father, not blood father but someone who promised to look out for him, someone he doesn't even know, he feels the loss but he's just been born and he never really met Cas.

Then we roll to Sam, he's lost a dear friend and is sad. He's wanting to cry and fidget and be sad.

THEN we roll to Dean. His face is drained of all emotion. He has lost his best friend. His dear companion and looks like he lost it all despite his brother being right next to him. He can't even move.

Now I would be sad if one of my brothers died but sadly I don't have that much of a connection with them as Dean and Cas have. And thankfully I haven't yet experienced one of my brothers pass on.

But I have lost a few lovers, and that... That is the face I have felt. When everything else feels irrelevant. You don't care about anything. You can't care about anything. You are numb.

And this all brings us to the finale.

Death is on her way, has them by their hearts, well Dean's in fact. They run/slowly walk over to Basement Storage Room 7B and Cas wards the room, slowing down Death on the other side.

This is the exact moment before he loses Cas for the last time. (I'm copying from the script on the Supernatural wiki, don't hate me, I watched it over and over too, and I've shortened Cas's monologue because I don't want to relive that heartbreak again lmao) But basically Cas realizes this is it, this is the happiest he has been. Everyone was alive and well, he has Dean alone at last. The last exchange they had was this: "You changed me, Dean." "Why does this sound like a goodbye? "Because it is." - "I love you."

"Don't do this, Cas." - "Cas..." "Goodbye, Dean." "What?"

Cas pushes Dean out of the way and gets taken by the Empty.

He has to process all these years of interactions with this awkward little man with sensible shoes in less than five minutes and it all crumbles.

Castiel is gone. And he's not coming back.

Sam keeps trying to call Dean but he's just getting Dean's voicemail and Dean isn't answering. He simply can't.

A few episodes later, Dean fucking dies. Just how he said he would, to a monster, like any other job. It felt rushed and I didn't like it.

But how they ended it could've been so much worse.

Dean makes it to heaven, expecting just memory lane, but Bobby's there and says Jack remade heaven new, everyone's together in heaven where they belong. He offers him a beer and tells him how different heaven is and how it's so much better.

Dean's sold, but it's missing something.

This is directly after Bobby tells Dean that Cas helped Jack rebuild heaven.

After that, he takes a drive as he waits out Sam's life. He meets Sam on the bridge and that's the end.

For years, Dean didn't have an obvious love interest, here and there a fling maybe but nothing romantic. All the soft scenes were pretty much between him and Cas.

Their bond isn't brotherly, it's very best friend-ish but lovers can be friends too.

And that's my review on Destiel and why it's a thing it's 4 am and I haven't slept well the past two days so what to do other than write about destiel

ok bye :]

#supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #jensen ackles #misha collins #jared padalecki #rant/idk #fuck it #im so tired oml

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1heartsickfics · 3 months

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Sam Knows

I've had lots of ideas for fics recently but am having trouble being motivated to actually write them so I'm going to be doing a few short little drabbles just to get into the practice of writing again.

So here's a little supernatural ficlet. TBH this isn't set in any specific season/timeline so just assume that something traumatic has happened to Dean recently. Take your pick lol.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Oh, hey Cas?" Sam's voice came from behind him, making him jump. Cas spun around, blinking in surprise at why Sam was up and around at this hour.

"Sam. I didn't realize you were awake," Cas replied, seeing Sam coming down the hall from his room.

"Yeah I got caught up in some research and lost track of time, I'm on my way to bed now though," Sam shrugged, "I just wanted to ask you how Dean's doing."

"Oh. Well. You probably know just as well as I do," Cas shrugged.

"Maybe at one point, but I don't think that's true anymore. He trusts you Cas," Sam shook his head, chuckling lightly.

"He trusts you too Sam," Cas frowned, confused at Sam's comment.

"Well, yeah, I mean I know that. But he's spent his whole life taking care of me, protecting me. He doesn't know how to let me do the same for him. But I think he's learned how to let you in," Sam explained, smiling awkwardly as he struggled to put it into words.

He knew that Dean hadn't told Sam that him and Cas were... well, whatever they were. He wasn't sure how to handle this , he didn't want to upset Dean. It wasn't his place to tell Sam about their... situation.

"I think that he'll be okay, he just needs some time. But I mean you'd have to ask him," Cas answered slowly, choosing his words carefully.

"Come on Cas, I'm not stupid," Sam scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"You know?" Cas asked, realizing what Sam was implying.

"Of course I know. I've known for years," he said, obviously amused by their oblivion to his knowledge. "You guys think I didn't notice that your room is always empty even when you're here? Or how Dean's always happier when you're around?" he continued.

"Right..." Cas trailed off. They hadn't been as subtle as they thought apparently.

"So will you just be straight with me dude?"

Cas sighed. Sam was just worried about his brother, he deserved an honest answer. "He's not okay. But he will be. I've got him Sam, I promise," he said.

Sam nodded, taking a slow deep breath. "I'm glad that he has you. He's always on guard with me, you know, just cause he still feels like he's responsible for keeping me safe. But I think he feels safe with you."

"He doesn't sleep with a pistol under his pillow anymore. And he actually sleeps through the night, he never used to," Cas nodded.

"Thank you for taking care of my brother when he won't let me," Sam said, reaching out to squeeze Cas's shoulder before he turned to head back to his room to go to sleep.

"Always," Cas said quietly to himself. He would always take care of Dean.

#supernatural #cas and dean #destiel #fluff #cute destiel #hurt/comfort #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel

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endverse-cas-my-beloved · 8 days

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I personally don't think that whenever there's the "they get with a curse and suddenly they're in the body of another gender" should really ever change the person's attraction, because I think that implies that sexuality is connected to your biology, and that's a load of crap.

That being said, I think that if you put Dean Winchester in the body of a female Dean would absolutely believe this means he's allowed to be attracted to guys now. Like in his mind, he's still straight, because he's female now, and that means he's supposed to be attracted to guys.

Anyways I just think it would be incredibly funny if he were to turn into a girl and suddenly be on Cas and you could not pull him away. Like he wants that dick so bad (he's always wanted his dick) and he's gotta have it before he turns back because when he turns back he won't want it anymore (he's literally just in denial).

Like Cas is over here rushing to fix Dean back the way he should be because he's so worried Dean is gonna go through one of his impending freak-outs because Cas is aware of how strongly Dean feels about his gender and Dean is just nodding along in the way he usually does when he's absolutely not listening to Cas going, "uh huh, yep, so what I'm hearing is your dick, my mouth now".

He genuinely doesn't freak out about being in this body until Cas eventually (he was stopped at least 7 times by Dean's need to have Cas's dick somewhere in him) finds the cure, and then freaks out because he doesn't want to lose Cas and he's genuinely convinced his sexuality is gonna change back with his body.

Cue Cas actually finally realizing what's going on in Dean's head (he was just so happy Dean finally kissed him and he already doesn't understand anything that goes through that man's head so he just assumed he finally did something right) and he just stops Dean's overthinking and catapults him through the seven stages of bi denial with, "Dean if you switch back I promise you I will have your dick down my throat in five minutes".

Dean has that flash through his eyes and can see Cas on his knees already so clearly that he just goes stupid and is all, "yeah, yep, absolutely let's do that."

They're dating from that point on.

It isn't until 3 months in that Dean actually figured out he's bi though, and he only does because Sam remarks on how much happier he is with Cas now and Dean's all, "Yep, I can't even be upset that curse changed my sexuality. If I'd never been hit by it I wouldn't have ever been able to get with Cas." and Sam goes through the seven stages of "my brother is an idiot" and informs Dean that your sexuality isn't tied to your body.

Dean laughs Sam off because he clearly doesn't know how these things work and it's only after he tells his story to Cas later that day laughing as he's getting changed for bed and Cas doesn't laugh and instead tells Dean that Sam is right that Dean accepts it, but instead of having a normal reaction it's just, "You mean I was allowed to suck your dick this entire time?!"

Cas stares at him going through the seven stages of grief because of his boyfriend keeping them from being together because of stupid, heteronormative thinking finally just sighs, grabs Dean behind the neck as he's just about to put his shirt on, pulls him forward and in the most tired voice he has, that somehow is still totally working for Dean, just goes, "Get on your knees right now."

And Dean shuts up in more than one way immediately.

#anyways i might actually write this #its called “He's Stupid Your Honor”#also Dean thinks about sucking Cas's dick a lot because i enjoy sucking dick a lot #and art imitates reality so #fem!dean #dean #dean winchester #female!dean #femchesters #destiel

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nikkisheep · 11 months

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Memory I Don't Mess With Part 3

Dean Winchester x female!reader

Warnings: Angst, SAM'S POV, cursing, kinda GRAPHIC torture, spn elements, drinking, drunk Sam, castiel is worried, sam says some hurtful things to cas, tension, DEAN'S POV AT THE END

Summary: Told from Sam's view, he looks at every corner for his brother.

He was supposed to be there. He was supposed to go with him, but he didn't. Sam knew that how Dean was coping with your death. He knew that Dean would not be in the right mind but with a crippling ache in the wound on his side from the hunt that lead from your death. You had stabbed him straight in between the ribs, thankfully angling down toward a less needed muscle.

Sam was racked with grief. He didn't know where Dean was. He didn't know what happened. He didn't know anything. He could practically hear your voice yelling at him. "Sam, he is your brother. You have to look at every possible clue. For God's sake you are a hunter, you should be able to find him." That is what you would have told him.

---

"Tell me where he is," Sam yelled, cutting deeper into the vampire's arm.

"I don't know anything," The vampire panted, pain overcoming every bit of her body.

"You're lying! Tell me where he is."

"I don't kn-" Blood gushed from the vampire's severed head.

Sam walked to the table with all of the equipment that he needed. He had captured several, several monsters to get the information he needed.

---

"And you said that he just left?" Sam questioned.

"Yes, he took the bottle with him." The bartender told him the exact same thing that he said when Sam questioned him the first time, and the second time, and the third time.

"Sir, are you sure there isn't anything else you could tell me about his disappearance?"

"Like I said the last few times you were here, he looked upset, a girl flirted and he ignored her. He bought a bottle and then walked out."

---

"Tell me where he fucking is!" Sam yelled at the tied down demon.

"You looking for someone, Sammy?" The demon taunted.

Sam punched the demon square in the face. The demon laughed.

More holy water got poured into a hole that was deeply cut into the demon's shoulder.

"You keep talking but I ain't hearing what I need to know," Sam spits at the demon.

Sam's hands were shaking, he hadn't gotten much sleep since Dean's disappearance. He wanted his brother back. No, he needed his brother back.

Sam stabbed the demon with the knife from Ruby that she gave him those years ago.

---

"Sam," Castiel appeared in the room.

Sam was nursing a bottle of whiskey and it was nearly gone.

"What?"

"Dean's disappearance is taking a toll on you," the angel said.

"No shit, Cas. He's my brother." Sam chugged another helping of the burning liquor.

"You're drinking yourself to an oblivion. Sam, I'm worried for you."

Sam looked up at the dark haired angel and darkly chuckled.

"You're worried about me?" Cas nodded, a frown forming on his brow.

"Dean is out there probably dying and I can't find him. I can't help him and you're worried about me?" Sam's drunken mind was causing him to lash out, Castiel knew that.

"Sam, this is not your fault."

"It's not? Really? Castiel, I can't find my brother and I have tried everything I can to find any information."

"Torturing monsters, Sam, is not going to bring your brother back."

"What did you say?" He asked, stepping closer to the other man.

"You know that these monsters have no information to give."

"No, why are you talking like Dean is dead?" The angel looked hurt.

"Is he dead, Cas?" The word "dead" tasted like acid rolling off Sam's tongue.

"I-"

"Tell me, is he dead Castiel?" Sam yelled. Anger consuming him.

"I don't know."

"What the hell do you mean you don't know? Tell me where he is, Cas."

"Sam, I can't because I DON'T KNOW." Castiel was getting upset. He cared about Dean too and Sam was treating him as if he didn't know that.

---

Dean's POV

Dean woke, holding the love of his life. He kissed her cheek, feeling her warmth as she slept beside him. He knew that even though he is having painful memories that he didn't actually have, he could just look at you and know that he is at home. You are his home and he never wants to leave you again. He will not leave you again, no matter what.

TAG LIST:

@deans-spinster-witch

@deans-spinster-witch (Just wanted you to know there was another part)

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester angst #supernatural #supernatural x reader #supernatural x female!reader #spn x reader #spn angst #sam winchester #sam winchester angst

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dontlikeconflict · 4 months

Text

Based on S11EP13 Love Hurts (in which a supernatural creature called a Qareen appears to you as the person you desire the most, in an attempt to steal your heart)

TW: internalized homophobia, derogatory terms, John Winchester being a shitty dad

AO3 link

Dean's ready for it, he knows the bastard is around here somewhere and all he has to do is find it and kill it (or at least hold it off until Sam finds its heart, and stabs the damn thing)

He and Sam had been theorizing over who it might appear to them as, joking over childhood crushes and celebrities, but as the creature came into sight Dean's heart sunk. Some part of him knew who it would be, but he thought maybe if he didn't allow the thought to take hold -if he kept the idea in his peripheral vision, not looking directly at it- that it wouldn't be true.

but now the manifestation of his desire was staring directly at him, and it couldn't be ignored.

"Hello Dean"

The gravelly voice sounded the same as it had a hundred times before. The downward tilt to the corner of his eyes was the same, as was the slight skew to his blue tie. It was exactly as he saw Cas, in his mind's eye.

"oh don't try to be cute, I know exactly what you are Qareen"

He didn't want to have to try to kill this thing as it flawlessly imitated Cas, but at his words, the creature allowed its head to softly tilt to the side and his - its - eyes to slightly narrow. An expression that was so painfully Cas, that Dean was torn between pain and anger.

"I understand, Dean" the creature speaks, stepping slightly closer to the large work table that separates them

"is that right?" he responds, trying to focus on anything other than how much this thing looks like Cas, having to remind himself that it was an illusion, despite the tight feeling in his chest that always seemed to respond to the other man's micro-expressions.

The creature continued forward toward him "The longing in your heart? I feel it too"

If only the circumstances had been different, if only this was Cas, the words might have felt like a relief instead of so painfully raw.

"well that's touching" Dean began, as he tried to subtly move toward a knife wedged into the wood of the workbench "considering you don't have a heart. Considering... you're not Cas"

Dean didnt know if he was saying it aloud for the creature, or just to reassure himself. So that when he inevitably plunged a knife into this thing, he would know the expression of pain didn't truly belong to his friend.

"who I am doesn't matter" A small smile graced Cas' lips " The real question, is who are you?" Cas' eyes looked at Dean the way they had so many times like he was trying to understand him; like he thought if he stared long enough he could unravel the enigma that was Dean Winchester.

"what do you mean, who am I?" Dean trying to inch toward the knife, but the Qareen was tracing his movements

"You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart" They are both moving in sync, both so aware of the other " Feel the love you feel"

the use of that word causes Dean to stop in his tracks, and the creature stops with him "Except, its cloaked in shame"

and that's it isn't it? what it's all about. Dean has never been one to shy away from romantic feelings. Whereas one could describe him as emotionally constipated in almost every other area, romance had always been the easiest one, and even if he got turned down it never really affected how he approached potential partners.

But Cas was different. For starters he wasn't human, a factor he had gotten over a while ago but something that at the beginning had always been in the back of his mind. Back when Cas still spoke like an angel, 'raising him from perdition' and then subsequently threatening to throw him straight back to it. But it had been a long time since that mattered, a long time since he viewed Cas as Other in that way. and yet there was something so trivial yet so big that held him back. Cas was a man, his vessel was at least. And no matter how many people he meets, how much he grows and changes, his father is always there.

Throw away comments about 'pansys' and 'queers' and much harsher words that Dean doesn't even like to think. He can still remember his father watching the news and tutting at why "they have to go and get married, why can't they just stop shoving it in everyone's faces".

It felt wrong even back then, and Dean knows his father was wrong. Knows that even though he loves him, that he was an asshole on his best days. But the idea of people looking at him and thinking all those horrible things, the knowledge of what his father would think of him if he could see him now, always held him back.

When he spent too long looking into Cas' eyes, when Cas touched him and he felt himself light up, when he said something that sounded slightly too affectionate, he would feel his father's shame like a weight dropping down onto him.

He knew that he and Cas had something, that they shared a "more profound bond", as the angel had put it. But he could never get past the shame that lurked within him.

"when it comes to this" the creature continued, looking down at the shape it had taken, lifting a hand to Cas' chest and rubbing across it "You can't help yourself, so why fight it?"

To hear these words in Cas' voice; it was almost too much.

The creature was stalking its way forward "Just give in"

Ah, see that was just enough. That was so unlike Cas, to ask him to give in to anything, to not kick and fight the whole way as he always did, that it knocked Dean's mind out of its self-loathing and allowed him to act, to plan.

"yeah, you know what? You're right" suddenly feeling more confident that this was just another monster, just another hunt

"The real Cas, he does have a hold over me" It was the closest he had even come to admitting what it really was "but you... are nothing but a cheap imitation"

the creature was almost close enough to rip his heart from his chest, so he acted and did the first thing he could think of. He picked up a metal table to the side of him, holding it up like a shield just before the creature's hand burst right through the metal as if it were paper.

funnily enough, this felt more like Cas than the creature had been before, reminding Dean of when they first knew each other and Cas would constantly startle Dean with effortless strength. Holding a pipe Bobby swung directly for his head or lifting an entire anvil up as if he were holding a pillow.

Dean was taken out of his musings by the threat of losing his head as the creature pulled its arm free and he had to leap away rolling over the top of the workbench, just before the Qareen's hand went right through the thick wood. The way it moved was very stiff, not very artful, clearly not used to having to work physically for its food, used to victims presenting themselves eagerly for the face of their desires.

Then Dean's eyes caught on the knife he had been inching toward earlier, and he made a grab for it swinging haphazardly for the imitation of Cas' face, only to have his hand grabbed firmly, the creature squeezing at his arm until he was forced to relinquish the blade.

He was then shoved against the wall, held in place by Cas' large hand at his shoulder, the other raising, ready to push through layers of skin, muscle, and bone, to rip his heart straight from his body. Dean had no time to be scared, but if he had time to reflect he would have thought that dying to Cas' hands wouldn't be the worst way he could go.

but then it all stopped, the creature froze before stumbling back. Cas' face twisted in pain as it began to shake and scream before the body began to dissolve into smoke, and it all collapsed into a central blue light, almost like a star.

and then it was gone. And Sam was calling his name.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not much had been said on the ride back to their motel, mostly focusing on cleaning up their mess, and driving home the victim. But now they were packing up their few things into duffel bags, getting ready to drive back to the bunker.

As Dean was shoving clothes unfolded into his bag, Sam's voice came from behind him "So you gonna keep me in suspense here or what?"

Dean continued to pack, hoping Sam wasnt asking what he thought "About what?"

"Who was it?" Sam was prying, he seemed casual about it, still moving between the bed and his bag as he grabbed and folded each item

"it, uh" Dean began to speak before he even knew what he was going to say. The truth? Or some half-baked lie about Daisy Duke batting her eyelashes at him before she lunged for his heart? but a calm almost washed over him as he allowed himself to be honest.

"it was Cas."

"huh." the was a pause where Dean felt like he truly could throw up "Does that surprise you?"

all his fear turned incredulous "That doesnt surprise you?"

For a moment the shame from his father came back, and the idea that something about him looked gay came into his mind. What if everyone knew? like it was something they could just tell about him. But Dean had to mentally remind himself that this was Sam, that his Dad was a bigot, that his dad hadn't been around to judge him for a long time now.

"Honestly?" Sam said, as if his answer was obvious

"Honestly." Dean parroted, his defensive nature rising up "What you seriously think Cas, the poor excuse for an angel that dresses like an accountant, is my deepest desire?"

it felt wrong to deflect, to be hurtful about Cas just because he was afraid, but the words just fell out.

"he isn't?" Sam responded simply

"No!" Dean's voice pitched up at the end of the syllable, and it sounded like a lie, even to his ears. "He cant be."

"why not?" the blunt way Sam was addressing him wasn't helping the rising panic in his chest

"Why? Because that means I'm-" The words get stuck, he can't say them, especially when he knows how he'll sound as they come out of his mouth. The Qareen was right, he's still ashamed.

"what Dean?" Sam's voice is soft, like he knows exactly what Dean is thinking, like he wants to say it for him so he doesn't have too

But Dean has to be the one to say it, he knows this. He attempts to steel his expression, but as the words come out he knows he sounds afraid "It would mean I'm - " Queer, a pansy, an embarrassment "Gay"

Even though they both knew what he was going to say, Sam's face changes to one of soft surprise "Dean, Did you honestly think that something like that would matter to me?"

Dean didnt know what to say. Logically he knew it wouldn't, but some part of him felt like it would somehow make him less of Sam's tough older brother, like somehow he would be letting him down, as irrational as it sounded

Sam took Dean's silence as a sign to continue "Look I know Dad had some stupid ideas about this kind of thing, but you gotta know that he was an idiot"

some old part of Dean wanted to get annoyed at Sam for speaking out against their father, for disgracing his memory, but the feeling wasn't strong enough for him to act on right now.

"you need to know that... you and Cas" his little brother, so smart seemed like he had no idea how to put his thoughts into words "it would be okay"

the words Sam settled on were simple but it felt like such sweet relief, because really that was all Dean wanted. For how he felt to be okay. To not feel like he was wrong every time he let his guard down. every time he let himself want. He didnt quite feel like he was okay, but hearing the words from Sam made him feel a hell of a lot closer to believing.

"Thanks, Sammy" Maybe in another world he could have teared up at a time like this and told his brother how much his acceptance meant to him. But for now, all he could do was give his beanpole of a brother a strong slap on the arm and say "Let's go home", home to where Cas is.

Part two

#destiel #deancas #dean x castiel #dean winchester #internalised homophobia #supernatural s11 #season 11 #team free will #sam winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting #s11e13 #ficlet #destiel fic #deancas fic #castiel

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