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virtu4l-di4ry · 25 days

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from dean’s perspective “i need you’ is bigger than “i love you”. love is complicated but it’s direct, he could love someone without having them in his life. but need? dean “mr. dependent, guarded walls up so high, emotionally unavailable” winchester needing someone? thats huge. to need means to give them control. to need means i cant do this without you. love comes easy to dean but to genuinely need something and be selfish enough to ask for it? that goes against everything he’s been conditioned into believing.

#just something to think about #i need you #dean winchester #castiel #john winchesters a+ parenting #destiel #deancas #spn #supernatural #me yapping #dean winchester i love you!!#he is so eldest daughter coded

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castielsparkle · 1 year

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wormieapple · 2 months

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please understand that i will never and can never condone John Winchester’s actions but some of y’all really don’t understand what “he did the best he could” means.

he neglected and at the very least emotionally abused his kids, and there’s a pretty good argument that he might’ve physically abused them as well. he isolated them, prevented them from forming any lasting relationships outside of immediate family, left them alone for days if not weeks on end with firearms and very little food. And that’s not even the half of it. and everything he did was a manifestation of grief and drive to protect his family. which does not in the slightest justify how he treated sam and dean, but it does lay out his morals and motives pretty clearly.

He loves his kids, he really does. and while struggling to deal with his own trauma he was doing everything he could in his mind to keep them safe. but that doesn’t make his best enough, not by a long shot. that doesn’t even make his best efforts good efforts. at the end of the day he abused his kids and royally fucked up their ability to cope with their own grief and trauma in ways that i cannot touch with a 10ft pole rn or i’ll be writing 57 essays right here and now.

and again i hate john just as much as the next person but he did not set out to abuse his kids. he didn’t have nefarious intentions when it came to how he raised his kids. he was a good person who turned into an abusive asshole due to grief, paranoia, and alcoholism. and it makes perfect sense that sam and dean still love him even if they recognize the damage he did to them. because they also know how hard their dad tried, and they’ve said as much several times. and i get it cause that’s how i grew up. my dad did everything he could despite his grief, despite his depression, despite working 14 hour days in poverty and homelessness, and he still neglected and emotionally abused me. not because he was a bad person, but because he had no tools to deal with everything he was going through. and his best wasn’t enough, his best failed me. and i still love my dad cause not every memory was bad, and he does truly love me and my siblings. And i’m lucky in a way that sam and dean never were because my dad recognized where he failed us, owned up to what he did and tries everyday to repair the damage he did.

I have closure, and that’s something sam and dean could never really have. but they do have the clusterfuck of emotions that is he tried his best and it wasn’t enough.

#one last one from the drafts #yall are seriously missing the reason y sam and dean’s relationship to their dad is so devastating by only saying fuck john winchester #and it shows #john wasn’t a monster he was a person and if u don’t recognize that via demonizing him u run a genuine risk of becoming the kind of person-#he was. because that’s exactly how john thought of his own father and how he treated the boys stems directly from that.#cw abuse #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting #john winchester

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mikeluciraphgabe · 3 months

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Ok but could you imagine if Adam ended up in John’s Dean’s care?

Sam would be about 12/13 and still looking like he’s 9 because he hit puberty late and Dean looking like he’s in his early 20s from all this trauma he gained as a child

Dean who just lost another 18 years of his life to play parent(s) to another one of John’s kids

Dean would be out one day with the two, Adam babbling on his hip as he holds Sam’s hand to cross the street and some lady coos and says he has cute kids

Dean stalling in the middle of the road before Sam whines about ice cream

He a father to a 5 year old toddler and a young teenager

#anyway #supernatural #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #adam milligan #john winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting #dad Dean Winchester

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nevereclipse · 18 days

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so Bobby's father was an abusive shithead, a violent drunk, right? And Bobby decides not to have kids because he ruins everything he touches and there's no use passing on the cycle. And then he meets John Winchester. And occasionally, John gets Bobby to watch his 11 year old son Dean, and his 7 year old, Sammy. Sure, fine, whatever. That's cool. But then, Bobby finds out exactly what John is like when he's drunk (Dean didn't mean to tell him, it fell out from gritted teeth and held back tears, as he tried not to breath too deeply, lest he cause more pain in his ribs) and by God, does he go mad. Fuck "not passing on the cycle," these boys are his now and he's gonna damn well protect them.

#never rambles #supernatural brainrot #dean winchester #sam winchester #bobby singer #supernatural #spn #supernatural fanfiction #bobby singer is the winchesters parent #john is an asshole #john winchesters a+ parenting

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holybeejesus · 4 months

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Need Cas to beat Johns ass in the reboot I’m begging

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #destiel #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #misha collins #spn s16 #john winchesters a+ parenting #anti john winchester

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spn-lesbian · 10 months

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Dean: I've always wanted to be a spy! As a kid, I even had my own secret identity: whenever we were in public, my dad would tell people I was someone else's kid

Sam: ...

Cas: ...

Charlie: Deans repressed childhood trauma aside, let's continue with the meeting...

#john winchesters a+ parenting #source: inside job #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #charlie bradbury #sam winchester #castiel #incorrect spn quotes #incorrect supernatural quotes

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ricky-tiki-tah · 11 months

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Anyone else notice that especially in the earlier seasons(1-3 specifically for this post), Sam is usually the one talking to the witnesses/authority figures. Doesn’t matter if Dean started the conversation/interrogation, Sam near always finishes them.

Not only that, but officers and others tend to direct their questions more to Sam than Dean. The question is why? In the early seasons like 1-3, Dean may be shorter, but Sam is still noticeably younger than his brother. Is there something about Sam that people trust him to be more mature or what?

On the opposite note, you will rarely see Sam talking to any kid, his area lying more with the teens and young adults. Dean is always talking to the kids, he values their opinions and wants them to feel safe no matter what. This is probably from raising Sam, but it’s also very him. (One example is Lucas in 1x03 Dead in the Water, another is Michael in 1x18 Something Wicked, and again with Ben in 3x02 The Kids Are All Right)

Now, I’m very much onboard with the “both Winchester brothers are autistic” and “ADHDean”, but my question is still, why would the authorities and older suspects talk to Sam instead of Dean? Is it because Sam is so good at masking? Is it because Dean is starting to let his childish side out more now that John isn’t there? Maybe it’s because due to Dean having been selectively mute, Sam had to speak for the both of them growing up and the habit stuck? Could it be because even though both boys are good looking, Sam is more traditionally handsome while Dean is a pretty face? Is there really an answer?

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sammygender · 23 days

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all this talk about protective dean winchester but i can never stop thinking about protective sam. sam at nine, thirteen, fifteen, always too young and too late to help his brother from falling further into the traps of the way their father thinks. sam at seven already knowing their father sucks when eleven year old dean worships the ground he works on, sort of because thirteen year old dean workshops the ground he walks on. sam at ten looking at the way john treats fourteen year old dean, the blame and the pressure he puts on his shoulders, the emotional incest and dean’s dogged devotion and thinking that’s fucked up and being so so resistant to any kindness towards john winchester because of that. sam at fourteen slowly realising the way his father’s fucked his brother up irreparably and how he can’t help and he doesn’t know what to do and how can he keep being part of this. sam at sixteen trying to get dean out, too, but dean just gets angry at the prospect of sam even wanting to leave, is insistent he’s not in a situation he wants to get out of. sam at eighteen leaving and feeling like he’s dooming his brother and hating himself for it.

i don’t know how people are watching the show if they don’t see this as backed by canon, because the pure anger in sam’s tone when he talks so much about their dad in s1 isn’t just about the way he treated sam, it’s also about the way he treated dean. he always talks about the way he raised us, not just the way he raised sam. theres vicious hatred there that only comes from seeing the damage someone who’s meant to protect someone you love does to them…….

#found this in my drafts and YEAH.#sam winchester #dean winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting #oliver talks #spn #supernatural #sammy defence squad

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bloodydeanwinchester · 2 years

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✨12x02 || Mama Mia✨

#THAT IS NOT THE FACE OF A MAN WHO THOUGHT HE WAS A GREAT FATHER #spn 12x02 #dean winchester #mary winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting #spnedit #spn #dean winchester gifs #mary winchester gifs #spn gifs #jenna.gif

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give-bucky-his-boyfriend-back · 7 months

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Dean: Why do you treat me like shit?

John: Shut up, you're like a son to me

Dean: I don't want to scare you , but I am your son

#spn #supernatural #dean winchester #incorrect spn quotes #incorrect supernatural quotes #john winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting

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imperfectlynatural · 8 months

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Just thinking about a tiny Dean on his fourth birthday. So happy and excited to be FOUR , a big grown up four year old. With a cowboy cake and new toys. Imagine him running up to Mary and hugging her belly and whispering to the baby that it's his birthday and he's big so he can be the best big brother.

Imagine him a few months later when he finally meets his baby brother. And he's a bit boring but it's OK he's growing really fast and Dean keeps showing him toys and explaining how to play with then. He'll be big enough to play soon.

And then Sam starts crawling and babbling and he is so close to being able to play. And suddenly there is screaming and blood and fire and smoke and running out of the house. His mom is gone and his home and his stuff and they are staying with friends but his dad will fix it. He can fix anything.

But then they are in the car and driving driving driving. Strange new places with cold hard people and guns and knives and whiskey. He can only sleep wrapped around his baby brother. And he wanders outside to see his dad kill someone. When he asks why John just shakes his head and ushers him inside.

Then John starts leaving them with strangers. For a night. Longer. Comes back harder each time. Starts teaching him how to clean a gun, how to handle them safely. Gets his a football for Christmas but refuses to play with him and sammy still isn't old enough.

And then. He turns 5.

#dean winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting #johns diary is something else. i hate him.

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totallynotaraccoonindiscuise · 13 days

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hey guys do you wanna have a flash fic of dean doing the Gay Crisis Tango?

of course you do have some destiel highschool au where Dean sees Cas and cannot cope

Italicized stuff is flashbacks, sorry if theirs eyestrain!!

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Dean sat on his bed, starting at a wall across from him. It was his first day of school in this new shitty town and he was already starting to hate it.

The teachers were annoying, the classes were hard, and he was learning things he wasn't ready to know about himself.

"And this is our new student Dane Winchester!"

"Its Dean." Dean corrected, not in the mood to deal with annoying teachers.

"Right, Dean. Sorry." The teacher corrected himself.

Dean grabbed his hair and let himself give into gravity, falling onto his bed in the motel room he'd be staying in with Sam for supposedly only two weeks, but he knows his dad isn't good about that stuff.

"Alrighty Dane, you'll be over there with Mr. Novak."

"Its Dean." He insisted as he walked over to the desk the teacher, whos name he hadn't bothered learning, had gestured to and sat down.

It wasn't their first time staying in a town so small that the middle, elementary, and high school were all in the same building, having to share desks and only moving from class to class maybe three times a day, one of those being to go to lunch, but, this was definitely the most interesting iteration.

He sat down and looked over at his new desk mate for hopefully only two weeks, and immediately took back that last notion.

The man next to him, Novak, was it? Was... hot. Beautiful in ways Dean hadn't seen in anyone before. Messy brown hair stuck up in every direction, a grim look to his already stubbled face. Bright blue eyes, so blue they pierced Deans heart, lay heavy-set into his skull. Chapped, large pink lips that made Deans mind wander.

Dean immediately looked away, his face growing red and his heart pounding.

'What the fuck?' Dean thought to himself.

'No, no no no no no no no. I am NOT gay. I like women! I've had girlfriends! I am NOT into a guy ive never talked to.'

Dean laid now, after a long, tiring day of seeing that handsome guy he now knew as Castiel roam from class to class and going across rooms and sitting and- Dean had been watching him all day.

Walking back to the motel from school Sam had brought up his staring, as he was now also in highschool and noticed his brothers odd behavior.

Dean new better than to push his brother away and decided to open up.

"I think I might be bi."

Dean had always been aware of being gay and bi and such but his dad had made him think that things like that were just as unnatural as the monsters he hunted.

Sam, of course, immediately told him he was cool with it and asked him why he'd decided to tell him now.

Dean had told him the truth.

And now he's here. Wondering what the fuck changed to make him suddenly bi.

He thought back all the way to his first memories, as far as he could go. In his digging, he remembered the fourth grade, where his dad told him liking men as a man was as wrong as sucking blood. Why had his dad said that?

Then, it clicked.

He'd told his dad he had a crush on a boy in his class. He remembered now. How his dad had freaked out and beat him. Kicked him out of the house for a night. He couldn't believe he could forget something like that.

"Uh, hi?" Dean had said to the man next to him.

"hello." Jesus, even his voice was hot. Rough and deep with a twinge of sincerity.

"Fuck."

#dean winchester #destiel #destiel fanfiction #deancas #castiel #sam winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting #john winchester tw #bisexual dean #bisexual #bisexual pride #fanfiction #my work #authors of tumblr

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wrenwinchester · 19 days

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I hate John winchester as much as the next person, but my biggest Qualm with him is that instead of focusing on his children when his wife died, he decided he needed to figure out how/why/what killed her. Like. As a midwesterner, like yeah we square up with our cryptids, but we don’t go seeking them out. And if you don’t want to be singled out by one, you sure as shit don’t go looking for it.

#john winchesters a+ parenting #mary winchester #cryptid #supernatural #spn #the winchester brothers #dean winchester #the winchesters #sam winchester

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soft-pine · 3 months

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dean & john

set to Vampire by olivia rodrigo (radio edit)

CN: scenes from 15.20 (but none post rebar)

on twitter

on youtube

#supernatural #dean winchester #spn #dean #john winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting #spnedit #my art #my edits

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kerryweaverlesbian · 11 months

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I don't know if I've said it before but another thing that keeps haunting me is the fact that in the doomed plane episode in season 1, the guy who met John and Dean before says he knows who Sam is because John kept going on and on about how proud he was of his kid who got a full ride at Stanford. Like either it was geniune, and he was speaking proudly from the heart about his kid despite everything. Or it was to punish/placate Dean (with the subtext of 'unlike this son' or perhaps Dean had started to stick up for Sam - Dean was smiling throughout so I'm leaning towards the latter). Especially since the episode is one of the first Dean Is So Smart episodes. Or a mix of both perhaps. Or some other motive (to hide that he's got an abnormal family to a normie...?)

Just - how must it have felt for Sam to have spent YEARS thinking his dad hated everything he's ever accomplished to hear that. I don't have anything else to say about it it just keeps travelling across my brain.

#john winchesters a+ parenting #fathers /#happy uk father's day sjfhshfhs

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