#but my entire spirit REBELED
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one of my favorite things about pride and prejudice is that in the last third of the book Elizabeth’s internal monologue about Darcy is her admitting that she’s in love with him but also putting all sorts of qualifications around that statement that kind of ...tamp down the level of emotion (the “feelings, if not as tender as Jane’s for Bingley, at least as just” line, even the whole thing about her and Darcy being well-matched objectively speaking) and as soon as she’s engaged you get the unbridled joy in the narrative about her own joy, cc: “I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.”
#pride and prejudice#jane austen#this is very obvious but it's in the narration itself#that she's trying to sort of distance herself from the depths of her own feelings in case this DOESN'T work out#i also think the rational stuff is totally true and she would say that after as well but she would say it in a different way#idk i just love it. it's so subtle and it's so true#also very obvious?? i feel like i'm making a very obvious point#but anyway 'elizabeth's feelings soon rising to playfulness etc. etc.'#also this is why i hated the end of a civil contract actually#i felt like she was tamping it all down and for some reason it just made me SO mad#like no. it's supposed to OVERFLOW NOW#adam being like 'and in the end the rational choice was jenny' sir i will FIGHT YOU IN THE PARKING LOT#idk i was student teaching and very emotional at the time maybe i missed something and read it wrong#but my entire spirit REBELED#like. how honestly DARE#i'm avoiding grading can you tell#yes you can I will go now
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Circus Freak
Paring: Hyunjin x Reader
Style:circus AU, NSFW, Romeo & Juliet, friendship, romance
Warning: toxic family, smut, forbidden romance
Word count: 21.307
In the vibrant heart of a city that never sleeps, where skyscrapers stretched towards the heavens and the buzz of daily life never ceased, there lay a realm where the extraordinary was commonplace, and the word 'impossible' was simply a hurdle to be leaped over. This realm thrived under the colorful expanse of a circus tent, a place where our tale begins to take shape.
Amidst this whirlwind of activity, Y/N, a young woman whose curiosity knew no bounds and whose spirit rebelled against convention, found herself drawn to the magnetic pull of the circus. Her farther, firm in his beliefs and viewing the circus folk as nothing more than societal outliers, frowned upon her fascination. He saw these performers as mere entertainers, far removed from the respectable circles they aspired to be part of. Yet, Y/N looked beyond societal labels, seeing in the circus a celebration of diversity, a testament to the strength found in difference.
"I just don't see what you find so enthralling about it, Y/N," her father sighed one evening, the topic of the circus surfacing yet again at the dinner table.
"It's not just entertainment, dad. It's art. It's people being true to who they are, despite what the world expects of them. It's...it's freedom," Y/N replied, her eyes alight with passion.
Her words hung in the air, challenging the silence of her normally unyielding parents. It was a battle of wills she had fought time and again, yet this time, something shifted. Perhaps it was the unwavering conviction in Y/N's voice, or maybe the simple weariness of constant denial, but eventually, her farther's stern facade cracked.
"Fine," he conceded with a heavy sigh, her decision laced with reluctance. "You may go to the circus. But," he added, a finger raised in warning, "you will be accompanied by guards at all times."
Though the condition dampened her spirits, Y/N's heart soared with the victory. The thought of finally stepping into the world that had captivated her dreams filled her with a joy she could scarcely contain. As Y/N crossed the threshold into the grand tent, her pulse quickened with the thrill of anticipation.
She made her way to a seat right at the front, eager to lose herself entirely in the spectacle that was about to begin. The air buzzed with an electric charge, a blend of excitement and awe tangible among the gathering crowd as the seats filled to capacity. Then, as the lights began to fade, a hush fell over the audience, the collective breath held in suspense, only to be broken by a burst of applause when the ringmaster, known affectionately as Bang Chan, stepped into the limelight to greet the assembled throng.
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to a night of wonders," Bang Chan boomed, his voice enveloping the tent in warmth and excitement. "Prepare to be amazed, to laugh, and maybe even to cry as we take you on a journey like no other."
Sitting there, Y/N couldn't help but feel a connection to his words, a sense of belonging that had eluded her elsewhere. The show kicked off with a stunning performance of song and dance, a showcase of the hard work and raw talent of the circus performers.
The lyrics, "Welcome to my home," followed by "Feeling good right now," seemed to speak directly to Y/N, echoing the essence of the circus's inviting spirit. Here, in this space, was a vibrant celebration of diversity and creativity, an open invitation to cast aside one's troubles at the door and immerse oneself in the enchantment of the present moment.
"Doesn't this just make you feel alive?" whispered the person seated next to Y/N, caught up in the magic of the performance.
Y/N turned, offering a smile. "It really does. It's like stepping into another world where anything's possible," she replied, her voice tinged with wonder.
And as the performance unfolded, Y/N felt a deep resonance with the circus's message of unity and the joy of being one's authentic self. As the evening's performances unfolded, each act painted a new stroke of wonder on the canvas of Y/N's imagination. The acrobats twisted and soared through the air with a grace that defied gravity, and the jugglers wove patterns of light and color that dazzled the eyes.
But amidst the array of talents, it was the magic segment that ensnared Y/N's heart. Shrouded in an aura of mystery, the magician, introduced by Bang Chan as Hyunjin, was more than a mere performer; he was a master of illusion and narrative, crafting stories of intrigue and enchantment with his every move.
During a particularly mesmerizing trick, their eyes locked—a moment that seemed to freeze time itself. Y/N felt an unspoken connection, a pull towards the magician that she couldn't rationalize. Hyunjin's gaze was intense, revealing a depth of experiences, his scar a silent narrative of his past struggles, his eyes a window to his soul.
"Seems like the magician has cast a spell on you," the person seated next to Y/N quipped, noticing the intensity of their exchange.
Y/N chuckled nervously, her focus still locked on Hyunjin. "It's like he's weaving magic just for me," she whispered back, enchanted.
Then, as if to prove the shared connection, Hyunjin executed his next trick with a flourish, materializing a bouquet of flowers seemingly from the ether. Striding towards Y/N, he presented them with a confident smirk, his eyes twinkling with a mix of challenge and charm. "For you, mademoiselle," he said, his voice carrying a hint of playfulness that matched his expression.
"Thank you," Y/N responded, accepting the bouquet, her voice a mix of surprise and delight. Their eyes met again, a silent conversation passing between them, a moment of mutual recognition that transcended the physical space they occupied. The guards, ever watchful, shifted uncomfortably at this interaction, yet their presence felt miles away to Y/N, lost as she was in the magic of the moment.
As the night progressed, with each act weaving its own magic, Y/N found her thoughts returning to Hyunjin. There was something about him that transcended his illusions, something that embodied the spirit of the circus itself—resilience, the beauty in embracing one's flaws, and the boldness to live authentically amidst judgment. As the final echoes of applause faded and the crowd began to filter out into the night, Y/N found herself rooted to the spot, her heart and mind abuzz with the electrifying performances and the enigmatic figure of the magician, Hyunjin. The guards, ever vigilant, nudged her gently, their voices a stark reminder of the world outside the circus tent.
"Miss Y/N, it's time we head back. Your parents will be expecting you," one guard mentioned, his tone polite yet firm.
Y/N sighed, a sense of reality piercing the magical bubble she had been in. "I know, I just... wish this night could last forever," she replied, her gaze lingering on the now-dimming stage.
As they escorted her away from the tent, a part of her rebelled against the idea that this magical evening was just a fleeting moment in time. She felt an undeniable pull, a sense that her journey with the circus—and with Hyunjin—was far from over. In the days that followed, that pull became a magnetic force, drawing Y/N back to the circus grounds time and again. Each visit was a chance to immerse herself in the world she had become so enchanted with, and, more specifically, to witness Hyunjin weave his magic. With every performance, every secretive exchange of glances between them, the connection they shared seemed to deepen, blossoming silently yet powerfully in the shared glimmers of recognition and intrigue under the kaleidoscopic circus lights.
"It's like you're part of the act, the way you both look at each other," a fellow audience member whispered to Y/N during one of her visits, having noticed the unspoken communication between her and Hyunjin.
Y/N could only smile, her heart fluttering at the thought. "Maybe in another life," she whispered back, her eyes fixed on Hyunjin, who seemed to perform with an extra spark of intensity whenever their eyes met.
As Hyunjin's act reached its zenith, he sought to introduce a new element that would captivate his audience further. "Ladies and gentlemen," he announced with a flourish, his voice booming yet inviting, "for my next act, I require the assistance of one daring volunteer from among you. Who will join me in creating magic tonight?"
A forest of hands immediately sprang up, a sea of eager faces, predominantly female, each vying for the magician's attention. Amidst the sea of enthusiasm, Y/N, with a mixture of excitement and trepidation, timidly raised her hand as well. Her action, however, did not go unnoticed by the guard seated to her left. With a swift motion, he clasped her wrist, his expression stern. His look was a silent reminder of her parents' expectations and the potential repercussions of her involvement in the circus acts. Y/N's excitement quickly turned to disappointment, her frown deep and evident. This subtle exchange did not escape Hyunjin's keen observation. Making his way through the throng of hands and hopeful faces, he approached Y/N with a purposeful grace. As he stood before her, he bent slightly, bringing himself face to face with her, their eyes locking in a silent conversation.
"Do you wish to be part of this next enchantment?" he inquired softly, his gaze intense yet inviting, cutting through the din of the circus around them.
Y/N, momentarily lost in the depth of his gaze, found her voice, her nod barely perceptible. "Yes, I'd... I'd like that very much," she managed to whisper, her voice a mix of awe and determination.
Hyunjin's smile broadened, a spark of excitement flickering in his eyes. He extended his hand towards her, a gesture of invitation and challenge. "Then come, let us weave magic together," he beckoned, his tone laced with an irresistible charm.
With a moment's hesitation, Y/N reached out, her fingers slipping into his with an electric touch. As he gently pulled her up, she rose to her feet, a surge of adrenaline coursing through her veins. The guard, sensing the futility of resisting this moment and perhaps wary of causing a scene, reluctantly released her wrist, allowing her to step into the spotlight.
As Y/N moved into the circle, the audience's anticipation palpable in the air, Hyunjin addressed her with a conspiratorial whisper, "Fear not, for tonight, you are the key to unlocking wonders yet unseen."
"What must I do?" Y/N asked, her voice steadier now, empowered by Hyunjin's confidence in her.
"Just trust in the magic, follow my lead, and together, we'll astound them all," Hyunjin replied, his eyes twinkling with the promise of the extraordinary.
Turning to face the audience, Hyunjin announced, "With the courage of my esteemed assistant, we shall embark on a journey beyond the bounds of the imaginable." The crowd leaned in, their excitement a tangible force in the air.
Hyunjin then guided Y/N through the intricacies of the trick, their movements synchronized in a dance of illusion and reality. Each gesture, each word from Hyunjin, served to draw Y/N deeper into the world of magic, her initial nervousness replaced by a burgeoning sense of wonder and belonging. The trick unfolded with a series of unexpected twists and turns, each more breathtaking than the last, culminating in a finale that drew gasps and applause from the captivated audience. Y/N, at the heart of the spectacle, felt a profound connection not only to Hyunjin but to the very essence of the circus itself. It was a moment of transformation, of crossing a threshold from spectator to participant in the circus's magical tapestry.
As the applause thundered around them, Hyunjin turned to Y/N, their eyes meeting in a moment of shared triumph. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the roar of the crowd, "for daring to embrace the magic."
Y/N, overwhelmed by the experience and the unexpected journey she had embarked on, could only nod, her heart full. "Thank you, for making me a part of it," she replied, her voice tinged with gratitude and wonder.
After the exhilarating show, the heart of the circus, its main acts—Hyunjin, Jeongin (I.N), Seungmin, Felix, Jisung (Han), Chanbin, Minho (Lee Know), and the ringmaster Bang Chan—drifted through the backstage area towards their communal campsite, a place they called home. Each member of this tight-knit family bore physical reminders of their tumultuous pasts. Bang Chan sported a prosthetic arm, a testament to resilience. Seungmin's face was marked by a burn on the right side, a stark reminder of his history. Jisung wore an eyepatch, concealing the void left by his left eye. Minho moved gracefully on a prosthetic leg, Chanbin bore a scar that ran down his chest, Felix's eyes—one hazel, one dark brown—shone with a unique light, Jeongin's demeanor oscillated between childlike innocence and unsettling intensity, and Hyunjin, with his scarred visage and blind left eye, completed this ensemble of survivors. These were the originals, the founding members of the circus, each one a story of triumph over adversity. Once outcasts and strays who sought refuge in the streets, they now stood as pillars of a vibrant community that thrived on joy, laughter, and the sheer magic of performance. Their circus had grown beyond their wildest dreams, yet their mission remained unchanged: to spread happiness, for in the smiles of their audience, they found their own strength magnified. As they made their way back, the air was filled with the buzz of post-show excitement and the anticipation of a well-deserved rest day ahead. This break from the rigors of performance offered them a precious moment to either hone their crafts or simply unwind, a necessary pause in their otherwise relentless schedule.
Chanbin, ever the spirited member of the group, approached Hyunjin with a playful energy, slapping him on the back in a gesture of camaraderie. "Hyunjin, that was a stellar act tonight! You really outdid yourself with that new trick," he exclaimed, his voice echoing the sentiment of admiration felt by all.
Hyunjin, still riding the high of the performance, turned to Chanbin with a smile. "Thanks, Chanbin. It felt different tonight, more... electric. I think we reached new heights together," he replied, his enthusiasm infectious.
Jisung, always observant, sidled up to the duo, his curiosity piqued by the connection he had noticed between Hyunjin and a particular audience member. "Speaking of tonight's act," Jisung began, his tone teasing yet pointed, "that girl you chose as your assistant—she's become quite the regular, hasn't she? Seems particularly captivated by your performances."
Hyunjin's expression softened at the mention of Y/N, a mix of intrigue and fondness playing across his features. "Yeah, she has been coming to a lot of shows lately. There's something about her... It's like she sees right through the illusion to the heart of the magic," he mused, his thoughts drifting to the moments they had shared on stage.
The conversation caught the interest of the others, who gathered around, eager to chime in with their observations and jests. Felix, with his ever-present smile, nudged Hyunjin gently. "Sounds like someone's got a fan—or maybe something a bit more?" he teased, winking.
Hyunjin chuckled, brushing off the implication while not entirely dismissing it. "Let's just say, our paths seem uniquely intertwined," he conceded, his gaze distant, as if contemplating the depth of that connection.
BangChan, the de facto leader and elder brother figure, clapped his hands together, drawing the group's attention. "Alright, team, let's not get ahead of ourselves. We've got a day off tomorrow, and I say we make the most of it. Some rest, some practice, and maybe even a little bit of fun. We've earned it," he declared, his voice imbued with a warmth that resonated with each member.
Nods and murmurs of agreement rippled through the group, each member already envisioning how they would spend their well-deserved break. The camaraderie and mutual respect among them were palpable, a bond forged through shared experiences, both triumphant and tragic. As they dispersed, heading towards the showers and then to their respective quarters, the night was alive with the promise of rest, reflection, and rejuvenation. For in the world of the circus, every day brought new challenges, new audiences to enchant, and new stories to weave into the rich tapestry of their collective journey.
Hyunjin lingered for a moment longer, his mind still on Y/N, her presence at the shows, and the undeniable spark that seemed to ignite between them with each performance. It was a curious thing, this feeling, something he has never felt before in his life, and for some reason it scared him. Y/N's steps echoed in the quiet night, her mind replaying the melodies of Lee Know's song, a sweet remnant of her recent adventure. As she approached her home, the shadows seemed to dance, blending the magical world of the circus with the stark reality of her impending reception. The guards, ever-present yet unobtrusive, melted away as she reached her door, signaling her return to a different kind of performance. Crossing he threshold, she was immediately enveloped by a tension so thick it almost pushed her back out. Her parents stood like guardians of a different realm, their faces etched with worry and disapproval.
"Good evening," Y/N ventured, her voice a soft attempt to bridge the gap widening between them.
Her father's eyes met hers, a storm brewing in their depths. Without a word, he turned away, his silence louder than any reprimand.
Her mother sighed, a delicate frown marring her features. "We were worried, Y/N. This... obsession with the circus. It's not healthy."
Y/N's heart sank, but she fought to keep her voice steady. "But, Mom, the circus is magical. It's not just an obsession; it's a passion. You should have seen what happened tonight!"
Her father, unable to contain his disapproval, finally spoke. "What happened tonight? What new spectacle has caught your fancy now?"
"It's not just spectacle," Y/N replied, her voice gaining strength. "It's about the stories, the art, the connection. Tonight, I wasn't just watching; I was a part of something bigger. Isn't that what life is about? Finding your place in the world?"
Her mother exchanged a glance with her father, her eyes reflecting a war between support and concern. "Being part of something bigger doesn't mean losing yourself, Y/N. We just want you to be safe, to think about your future."
"But I am thinking about my future," Y/N insisted. "A future where I'm free to love what I love, to be who I want to be. The circus shows me that world. Can't you see?" In the midst of their heated debate, Y/N tried to convey her exhilaration, "But you don't see! The circus, it's...it's magical. And Hyunjin, he—"
Her father cut her off, his voice sharp and cold. "Magical? You call fraternizing with those...those performers magical? It's reckless, Y/N. You're throwing away everything we've worked for, for what? A moment's thrill?"
"Reckless? No, Dad, it's about being alive, being part of something truly extraordinary. Hyunjin and the others, they're not just performers; they're artists, they're—"
Her father's temper flared, "Artists? They're outcasts! And now you, assisting on stage? It's disgraceful! You're a part of this family, not some...some circus act!"
Y/N's resolve hardened against her father's scorn. "Disgraceful? Because they dare to be different? They've shown me what real courage is, what it means to embrace who you are. Why can't you respect that?"
Her mother, trying to keep the peace, interjected weakly, "Y/N, please understand. Your father is just concerned about—"
"Concerned?" Y/N's voice cracked with emotion. "Or ashamed? Ashamed that I might find my place among people he deems unworthy?"
Her father stood, imposing and unyielding. "Ashamed? Yes, ashamed that my daughter is blinded by this...this fantasy. You think they're your friends? They're using you, making a fool out of you and, by extension, us."
Y/N, her voice trembling with both anger and passion, shot back, "They've accepted me for who I am, something I've never felt here, in this house of judgment. Hyunjin, he sees me, not as a fool, but as someone capable of being part of their world, their magic."
"Enough!" Her father's voice thundered, silencing the room. "Your defiance only proves your immaturity. You will cease this nonsense. No more circus. That's final. If you continue to defy us, the consequences will be severe."
Y/N, her patience shattered and her voice cold with disdain, turned at the foot of the stairs. "Keep your judgments and your so-called wisdom to yourselves. I'd rather be a 'disgrace' out there living my truth than spend another moment suffocating under your narrow-minded pretense of a life."
Without waiting for a retort, she stormed up the stairs, her steps a defiant drumbeat against their traditional values. After Y/N's scathing words cut through the tension, she spun on her heel, the force of her departure leaving a palpable void. She didn't look back as she ascended the stairs, each step echoing her resolve and the rift it had caused. In the immediate aftermath, her mother, without a moment's hesitation, sprang into action. Ignoring the stifling silence and the stern gaze of her husband, she hurried after Y/N. Her heart pounded with a mixture of fear, determination, and a desperate need to mend what had just been broken.
"Y/N!" she called out, her voice a blend of worry and urgency as she climbed the stairs. She reached Y/N's door just as it was about to close, pushing it gently open to bridge the physical and emotional distance between them. "Please, can we talk? Just you and me."
Y/N, standing in the middle of her sanctuary, her emotions a whirlwind, faced her mother. The anger still simmered, but the presence of her mother, showing concern and a willingness to listen, tempered it slightly.
"Why?" Y/N's voice was a mix of defiance and vulnerability. "So you can tell me again how wrong I am? How I should just give up on everything I love?"
Her mother stepped inside, closing the door behind her, a symbolic gesture to shut out the world and its judgments. "No, not to tell you you're wrong. I... I came to say I'm sorry. Sorry that we've made you feel this way, that we haven't tried to understand. Tell me about the circus, about why it means so much to you. Help me see, Y/N."
This was the first time Y/N felt her mother truly reaching out, not as an enforcer of her father's rules, but as a parent trying to connect with her child's passion.
"It's where I feel like I belong, Mom," Y/N began, her voice softening. "It's not just about the performances. It's about the people, the freedom, the acceptance. They've shown me that it's okay to be different, that it's okay to dream big."
Her mother nodded, taking a tentative step closer. "I see. I've never looked at it that way. Maybe... maybe we've been too quick to judge. Tell me more, please. I want to understand."
As Y/N spoke, the walls between them began to crumble, not completely, but enough to let the light of understanding shine through. For the first time in a long time, Y/N felt heard, and her mother, though still worried, began to grasp the depth of her daughter's dreams.
The next day Hyunjin woke up feeling awake and refreshed. The sounds of the circus crew were faint outside his tent, going about their day seeing as they all had it off. He stretched, his body filled with an energy that only a good night's sleep could provide. The circus was quiet, a rare day off for everyone, and the calm was as refreshing as the sleep had been. He swapped his usual stage attire for something more casual and made his way out, eager for the day ahead.
As he stepped out, Bang Chan, the ring leader, and Chanbin, the lion tamer, were there to greet him with warm smiles. "Morning, Hyunjin! Sleep well?" Bang Chan asked, his voice carrying the easy authority of someone born to lead.
"Like a log," Hyunjin responded, grinning. "Ready to tackle the day off?"
Chanbin chuckled, "As ready as one can be. Let's grab some breakfast. I'm starving."
The trio walked towards the communal tent, where the rest of the crew was gathering for the morning meal. The smell of breakfast filled the air, a comforting blend of coffee, eggs, and fresh bread.
Inside, Jisung and Jeongin were already at a table, deep in conversation, while Felix, Seungmin, and Minho were in line for food. Felix spotted them joining the queue and flashed his signature bright smile. "Morning, guys! How did everyone sleep?"
"Great, thanks," Hyunjin said, his mind drifting momentarily to the volunteer from last night's show. "Actually, I kept thinking about the girl who helped with the magic act. She seemed so captivated by everything."
"Oh, her!" Felix's eyes lit up with recognition. "She's been here a few times, hasn't she? Always looks like she's seeing magic for the first time."
Chanbin, overhearing the conversation, added, "Did you notice the bodyguards trying to stop her from joining you on stage, Hyunjin? Wonder why she needs two of them."
Bang Chan leaned in, curiosity piqued. "Bodyguards, you say? That's unusual for a circus audience. Maybe she's someone important, or perhaps there's more to her story."
Hyunjin nodded, thoughtful. "Yeah, there's something about her. Last night felt... different. Like there was a real connection, not just the usual volunteer interaction."
The group pondered this as they moved along the line, filling their plates. The mystery of the girl and her evident fascination with the circus sparked a lively debate among them, each offering theories and observations.
"Perhaps she's seeking escape, something we all can relate to," Seungmin suggested, joining the conversation. "The circus is another world, after all."
"True," Minho agreed. "We've all found refuge under this big top. Maybe she's just like us, drawn to the magic, the freedom."
They settled down to eat, the conversation shifted to plans for the day off, but Hyunjin's thoughts remained on the girl. There was a story there, he was sure, and he found himself eager to discover it. Y/N's heart was set on a day of freedom, a brief respite from the watchful eyes that constantly hovered over her life. The idea of spending a day out with Maya, her closest friend, without the omnipresent shadow of her bodyguards felt like a breath of fresh air. With a plan in mind and a hopeful heart, she tiptoed through the lavish corridors of her home, each step calculated to avoid detection.
Unfortunately, her father, ever vigilant, caught a glimpse of her attempting to slip away. His voice, firm and unyielding, halted her in her tracks. "Y/N, where do you think you're going?"
Caught off guard, Y/N turned, offering a smile that she hoped would disarm. "Just out with Maya, Dad. Nothing major."
Her father, however, was not swayed. "You know the rules, Y/N. If you're going out, you're taking a bodyguard. I won't have you wandering the streets unprotected."
Y/N's heart sank. "But Dad, can't I just—"
"No buts," he interjected. "It's not open for discussion. You can have your freedom, but safety comes first."
Resigned, Y/N nodded, unable to argue further without risking further confinement. As she met Maya outside, her friend's immediate eye roll at the sight of the trailing bodyguard said it all.
"I'm so sorry, Maya. Dad saw me sneaking out," Y/N explained, her frustration evident.
Maya, ever the supportive friend, shrugged it off with a smile. "It's no big deal. Let's not let it ruin our day. We've got shopping to do!"
Meanwhile, Hyunjin, craving a similar escape, ventured into the city with a different purpose. He was on a mission to gather pieces for a new costume, something to invigorate his next performance. With a cap pulled low and a mask concealing half his face, he navigated the bustling streets incognito. The fame of the circus and its founding members made anonymity a precious commodity, and his scar, a reminder of his unique journey, was something he preferred to keep hidden from the prying eyes of the public. Despite the circus's celebration of diversity, his own insecurities whispered too loudly on days like this. Y/N and Maya, immersed in their day out, found themselves weaving stories and sharing laughter, the bodyguard momentarily forgotten in the joy of their reunion. It was Maya who, with a mischievous glint in her eye, suggested a daring escape.
"Ready to lose your shadow?" Maya whispered conspiratorially.
Y/N, caught up in the thrill, nodded eagerly. "What's the plan?"
"Follow me and keep up," Maya said, pulling her into the throng of a crowded marketplace.
With practiced ease, they darted and dodged through the mass of people, their laughter mingling with the hum of the city. Just when they thought they had outmaneuvered the guard, they ducked into a shop, hiding among the racks of clothes. Peering out, they watched him pass by, oblivious to their trickery. Seizing their moment of freedom, they dashed in the opposite direction, only for Y/N to collide with a stranger. Stumbling back, she found herself looking up into the partially concealed face of a man who, despite the mask and cap, radiated a familiar warmth.
"Sorry, I didn't see you there," Y/N apologized, her heart skipping a beat as she took in the stranger's appearance. There was something about him, a presence that felt oddly comforting yet exhilarating.
"No harm done," the stranger replied, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. "But you should be more careful. The streets can be unpredictable."
Y/N, still caught in the stranger's gaze, nodded, unaware that the collision was not just with any passerby but with Hyunjin himself, out on his own quest for freedom and inspiration.
As Maya joined Y/N's side, a puzzled look crossed her face. "Do we know you?" she asked, eyeing the stranger curiously.
Hyunjin, realizing the potential for recognition, weighed his options. To reveal himself could mean drawing attention they all sought to avoid, yet the intrigue in their eyes was hard to dismiss.
"Let's just say I'm a fan of unexpected meetings," Hyunjin said, a mysterious smile playing on his lips. "Perhaps the city has its way of bringing people together."
I apologize for not meeting your expectations earlier. Let's rewrite the part according to your detailed description and requirements.
Hyunjin, stepping away from the unexpected encounter, felt a whirlwind of emotions. The brief moment with Y/N, the girl who had become a staple in the audience of his performances, left him both thrilled and unnerved. Her presence had always been a highlight of his act, their eyes locking in a silent communication amidst the magic he conjured. Now, having bumped into her, the familiarity of those feelings surged with a new intensity, mingling with the fear of the unknown emotions she stirred within him. He remembered her vividly, each night she attended, watching with an untainted sense of wonder that fueled his passion on stage. As he disappeared into a shop, hoping to find pieces that would add to his mesmerizing performances, his face flushed with a heat that had little to do with the summer air. Underneath his mask, his cheeks burned with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.
Back at the cafe, Y/N sat across from Maya, her mind racing. "It was Hyunjin, wasn't it?" Maya asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.
"Yes," Y/N whispered, almost to herself. "I recognized him... it's hard not to. But I didn't want to say anything right there."
Maya, sipping her coffee, nearly choked on her drink. "I can't believe you've been going to the circus," she exclaimed, her voice a mix of shock and admiration. "And your parents actually let you?"
Y/N laughed softly, the sound tinged with a hint of defiance. "It took a lot of convincing, and the condition was the bodyguards. But it was worth it, every single time."
Maya shook her head, her initial surprise giving way to envy. "I'm jealous, you know. Those tickets aren't cheap."
Y/N acknowledged the privilege that allowed her these escapes with a shy smile. "I know, but the circus is more than just a show. It's a world of its own, where magic feels real, and for a few hours, I can be part of that magic."
Their conversation flowed effortlessly, with Y/N sharing stories of the circus's enchantment and the performers who had captivated her. Maya listened intently, drawn into the vivid picture Y/N painted with her words.
"Hey, you should come with me next time," Y/N suggested, her eyes sparkling with the idea. "I'll get tickets for us. It's an experience you won't forget."
Maya's eyes widened with excitement. "Really? I'd love to. But are you sure? Those tickets..."
"Don't worry about it," Y/N interrupted, her tone full of conviction. "It's on me. I want you to see it, to feel what I feel when I'm there."
As they planned their next adventure, Y/N felt a renewed sense of purpose. Sharing her passion for the circus with Maya not only deepened their friendship but also reinforced her own love for the magical world she had discovered. Meanwhile, Hyunjin, hidden behind the racks of a quaint shop, allowed himself to dream bigger for his next act, inspired by the brief encounter with Y/N. The chance meeting reminded him of the impact his performances had on the audience, fueling his desire to create something even more spectacular. He pondered over fabrics and designs, each choice now infused with the possibility of seeing Y/N in the crowd again, her eyes filled with the same wonder that had first drawn him to her.
As Y/N and Maya, bubbling with anticipation, made their way through the bustling streets back to Y/N's opulent home, their recent escape from the watchful eyes of the bodyguard became a cherished memory, a shared adventure that bonded them even closer. After a brief stop at Maya's to collect her overnight essentials, they prepared for an evening that promised to be unforgettable. Y/N, seated at her desk, navigated the circus's website with practiced ease. She selected front-row tickets, sparing no expense for the perfect view, and, with a resigned sigh, added tickets for the guards. Their presence was a necessary concession to her father's strict rules, a shadow over her otherwise unbridled enthusiasm. The evening of the circus arrived with a flurry of excitement. Y/N and Maya dressed with care, choosing outfits that mirrored the magic they were about to witness. As they stepped outside, the guards, ever present, nodded in acknowledgment, a silent promise of protection.
The drive to the circus was filled with chatter, Maya's excitement palpable as she peppered Y/N with questions. "What's your favorite act?" "How does it feel to be so close to the magic?" Y/N answered each query with a warmth in her heart, thrilled to share this part of her world with her friend.
Upon arrival, the circus grounds buzzed with energy, the air electric with anticipation. As they approached the entrance, Bang Chan, the charismatic ringmaster, greeted guests with a wide, welcoming smile. His eyes lit up in recognition at the sight of Y/N.
"Back again, I see?" he remarked, his voice tinged with amusement.
Y/N's smile broadened, her excitement uncontainable. "Wouldn't miss it for the world," she replied, her eyes sparkling with joy.
Bang Chan, intrigued by her frequent visits, leaned in slightly. "Might I have the pleasure of knowing your name?" he asked, his curiosity piqued.
"Y/N," she responded, a flush of pride coloring her cheeks at the personal interest from the ringmaster himself.
"Y/N," he repeated, nodding with a genuine smile. "Well, you're in for a treat tonight. We've expanded the show—more acts, more magic. It's going to be a night to remember."
Maya, standing beside Y/N, looked on in awe, the reality of the circus's allure unfolding before her. "This is amazing, Y/N. I can't believe I'm here," she whispered, her voice filled with wonder.
As they handed their tickets to Bang Chan, he offered them a conspiratorial wink. "Enjoy the show, and keep an eye out for the surprises we have in store."
Stepping into the circus tent, the transformation was immediate. The outside world, with all its rules and restrictions, faded away, leaving only the promise of enchantment. The front-row seats offered an unobstructed view of the ring, where performers were beginning to gather, their costumes a kaleidoscope of color and fantasy.
As the lights dimmed, the crowd hushed, the anticipation reaching its peak. Bang Chan's voice, rich and inviting, filled the space. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to a night where the impossible becomes possible, where dreams take flight, and magic reigns supreme. Prepare to be amazed!"
Y/N glanced at Maya, her heart swelling at her friend's captivated expression. This was the magic she had longed to share, a world where wonders never ceased, and for a few precious hours, anything was possible.
The show unfolded with breathtaking spectacle, each act surpassing the last in thrill and wonder. Hyunjin's magic act was a highlight, his new costume catching the light in a mesmerizing dance. Y/N's gaze found his, a silent acknowledgment passing between them, a connection that seemed to transcend the boundaries of the circus ring. As the final act drew to a close, the audience erupted into applause, a standing ovation for the performers who had made the impossible real. Y/N and Maya joined in, their applause heartfelt, their spirits lifted by the magic they had witnessed.
After the show, as the crowd began to disperse, Y/N felt a gentle tug on her arm. Maya, her eyes alight with excitement, leaned in. "Y/N, this was incredible. Thank you for bringing me. I've never felt so alive!"
Y/N smiled, her own heart full. "I'm glad you loved it. The circus has a way of doing that—making you feel alive."
Y/N and Maya, still riding the high of the circus's magic, made their way out of the large tent, their senses alight with the vibrant energy of the evening. As they stepped into the cool night air, they noticed a crowd gathering nearby, curiosity drawing them closer.
"What's going on?" Maya asked, craning her neck to see over the heads in front of them.
Y/N, equally intrigued, tiptoed slightly. "Looks like they're handing out something. Let's check it out."
As they approached, they realized it was Felix and Jeongin from the circus, their vibrant personalities impossible to miss. Jeongin, with a childlike enthusiasm, bounced on the balls of his feet, his laughter infectious as he handed out flyers.
"Hey, look! It's Felix and Jeongin," Maya pointed out, her voice tinged with excitement.
Y/N smiled, her interest piqued. "Let's go get a flyer."
They made their way through the crowd, reaching the front where Felix and Jeongin stood. Jeongin's smile widened upon seeing them approach, "Hello there! Did you enjoy the show?" he asked, his voice bubbling with genuine interest.
Felix, standing beside him, offered his own warm greeting. "Yeah, did you like it? It's always great to see new faces and regulars alike," he said, his dual-colored eyes twinkling under the lights.
Maya, eager to respond, nodded vigorously. "It was amazing, my first time here! And Y/N's told me so much about it."
Y/N, feeling a connection to the circus stronger than ever, chimed in. "Yes, I loved it, as always. I heard you're doing an open day? Could we get some flyers? We'd love to come."
Felix glanced at the dwindling stack of flyers in his hand, then back at Y/N and Maya. "Sure, how many would you need?"
"Four, please. One for me, one for Maya, and two for our... companions," Y/N said, gesturing subtly towards the guards who stood a respectful distance away.
Felix's eyes followed her gesture, a flicker of curiosity in his gaze as he looked back at her. Jeongin, ever the straightforward one, didn't hesitate to voice his thoughts. "Why do you have guards? If you don't mind me asking."
Y/N sighed, a shadow crossing her features for a moment. "My dad... he's just very protective. Wants to make sure I'm safe, that's all."
Jeongin and Felix exchanged a look, the atmosphere tinged with a newfound understanding. "That must be tough, having to be followed around like that," Felix said, his voice soft with empathy.
"Yeah, it has its moments," Y/N admitted, the brief sadness in her eyes speaking volumes. "But it's worth it for experiences like these. The circus... it's like a different world, one where I feel free, even if just for a little while."
Jeongin, brightening at her words, handed over the flyers with a grin. "Well, we're glad you feel that way. This open day is going to be something special. You'll get to see behind the scenes, meet more of us, and really get a feel for what makes this place so magical."
"Thank you," Maya said, taking her flyer with a smile. "We're really looking forward to it."
As they turned to leave, Felix called out, "Hey, we'll see you there, then! And don't worry, it'll be a day where you can forget about those guards for a bit and just enjoy."
Y/N and Maya walked away, flyers in hand, their spirits lifted by the promise of another day filled with the circus's enchantment. The open day offered a glimpse into a world Y/N had only begun to explore, a chance to deepen her connection with the place that had captured her heart.
"Imagine getting to go behind the scenes," Maya mused, her voice alive with anticipation. "What do you think we'll see?"
Y/N's thoughts wandered to the performers they'd met, the acts they'd witnessed, and the magic that permeated the very air of the circus. "I think we'll see dreams being built," she said, a smile playing on her lips. "And maybe, just maybe, we'll learn a little bit about what it takes to make magic real."
On the eagerly awaited open day, Y/N and Maya held their leaflets tightly, their excitement barely contained as they approached the entrance of the circus. The vibrant atmosphere was palpable, with performers from various acts mingling with the guests, showcasing snippets of their talents.
Bang Chan, the esteemed ringmaster, greeted them at the entrance. His recognition of Y/N was immediate, and his welcoming smile put them at ease. "Ah, our regular visitor and her friend! Welcome to the open day," he said, extending his prosthetic hand to collect their leaflets. The guards, ever present, handed theirs over as well, their stoic expressions in stark contrast to the festive environment.
Y/N, her hands briefly entwined in a gesture of gratitude, thanked Bang Chan. "We're really excited to be here. Thank you for having us."
With a nod, Bang Chan ushered them through the gates, where the circus opened up into a world of wonder. Their first encounter was with Lee Know, the singer and a key performer, who was adjusting his prosthetic leg. Noticing their approach, he quickly finished and stood, greeting them with an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that, didn't notice you there. Ready for a little tour?"
As they ventured deeper into the circus, Lee Know introduced them to the vibrant cast of characters that made up their unique family. First on the tour was Chanbin, the lion tamer, who was in the midst of a feeding session with a baby cub, its mother lying calmly by his side.
"Isn't she beautiful?" Chanbin said, gesturing towards the lioness. "Don't worry, they're quite used to people. The little one's a handful, though."
Next, they met Felix and Jeongin, the clowns, who were in the middle of their act. Jeongin, with his boundless energy, attempted a magic trick that ended in a comical display of twigs and a few flower petals instead of the intended bouquet. His laughter, infectious and bright, filled the air as he presented his accidental creation to Y/N. "A little bit of nature for you," he joked, his eyes twinkling with mirth.
Felix, meanwhile, juggled skillfully while balancing on a unicycle, his concentration unbroken by the giggles and applause from the onlookers. "Always practice, never a dull moment!" he called out, catching his props with a flourish.
Wandering the park area on stilts was Seungmin, the acrobat, alongside Jisung. Their towering presence drew a crowd as they moved gracefully among the guests, engaging in light conversation and sharing laughs. "It's all about balance," Seungmin explained, his voice carrying down from his elevated position. "And a bit of courage, I suppose."
The highlight of their tour was the visit to Hyunjin, who had attracted a significant crowd with his enchanting magic. Lee Know, seeing the interest in Y/N and Maya's eyes, led them to the front. "Let's get a better view," he whispered, guiding them closer.
Hyunjin's performance was mesmerizing, his subtle tricks weaving a spell over the audience. Y/N and Maya, now front and center, watched in awe as he manipulated light and shadow, his movements fluid and precise.
After the demonstration, Hyunjin addressed the crowd, his gaze lingering on Y/N and Maya. "Thank you for joining us today. Magic isn't just about the tricks; it's about the connection we share in these moments."
As the tour concluded, Y/N and Maya thanked Lee Know for the incredible experience. "This was beyond anything we could've imagined," Y/N said, her voice full of emotion. "Thank you for showing us the heart of the circus."
Maya nodded in agreement. "It's been an eye-opening day. The talent, the passion... it's all so inspiring."
As Y/N and Maya lingered at the circus, their day was filled with the mesmerizing performances of the original cast and the other talented performers. Their attention was caught by Jeongin, who was taking a well-deserved break. Sensing their gaze, he waved them over with a friendly smile.
"Hey there!" Jeongin greeted as they approached, his eyes landing on Y/N. "I've noticed you around quite a bit. What brings you back so often?" he inquired, curiosity lighting up his face.
Y/N, feeling a bit on the spot but warmed by his interest, replied, "It's the freedom here, the way everyone is so open and expressive. It's truly inspiring."
Jeongin's smile grew at her words, his eyes sparkling with gratitude. "That's really kind of you to say. Thank you! It means a lot to us that our message resonates with you."
Maya, not one to shy away from deeper conversations, chimed in, "We've also noticed the scars that each of the main eight performers carries. It seems like you all have been through quite a lot."
For a moment, Jeongin's usual jovial demeanor faded, replaced by a more reflective expression. "Yes," he admitted, his smile tinged with sadness. "We've all had our share of struggles. But we found each other when we were just kids, on the streets. Bang Chan brought us together, made us a family. We're not alone anymore; we're brothers."
Intrigued by their origin story, Maya asked, "How did the idea of starting a circus come about? It's remarkable how you've turned your pasts into something so beautiful and uplifting."
It was at this point that Hyunjin joined the conversation, his arrival unnoticed until he spoke. "The circus was Bang Chan's dream," he explained, his gaze briefly meeting Maya's before settling on Y/N, causing an unmistakable flutter in her heart. "He saw it as a way for us to channel our experiences into something positive, to create a place where not only could we be free but also spread joy and wonder."
Y/N, moved by their stories, cast a sidelong glance at the guards her father insisted accompany her. It was a silent reminder of the constraints she lived under, a stark contrast to the freedom she yearned for.
Hyunjin and Jeongin noticed the direction of her gaze, their expressions shifting as they took in the sight of the two guards standing a short distance away. "It seems you're not entirely free yourself," Hyunjin observed, his tone gentle yet filled with understanding.
Y/N sighed, a mix of frustration and resignation in her voice. "My dad is... protective. He means well, but sometimes it feels like I'm more of a prisoner than a daughter."
Jeongin, ever the optimist, tried to lighten the mood. "Well, at least you get to escape to our little world of magic from time to time, right?"
Hyunjin nodded, adding, "And who knows? Maybe one day, you'll find a way to bridge your world with ours. Freedom comes in many forms, and sometimes, it's about finding the right moment to seize it."
Their conversation deepened as they discussed the themes of freedom and resilience that ran through the circus's ethos. Y/N and Maya listened intently as Jeongin and Hyunjin shared more about their lives, the formation of the circus, and the bonds that held them together.
As the open day drew to a close, Y/N and Maya knew they were leaving with much more than they had come for. Not only had they witnessed the spectacle of the circus, but they had also gained insights into the lives of those who made it possible. The stories of hardship and triumph, of finding family in the most unlikely places, resonated deeply with them.
Before parting ways, Hyunjin offered one last piece of advice. "Keep seeking freedom, Y/N. It's out there, and sometimes, it finds you when you least expect it."
With heartfelt thanks, Y/N and Maya bid farewell to Jeongin and Hyunjin, their hearts full of new dreams and aspirations. Hyunjin and Jeongin stood side by side, their eyes following Y/N and Maya as they navigated through the departing crowd. There was a reflective silence between the two performers, a rare moment of introspection in the aftermath of their heartfelt conversation.
Jeongin, ever observant, caught Hyunjin's lingering gaze on Y/N. A mischievous grin spread across his face, breaking the solemn mood. "You seem quite taken with our regular visitor," he teased, nudging Hyunjin playfully.
Hyunjin, caught off guard, stumbled over his words momentarily before regaining his composure. "It's not like that. It's just... refreshing to meet someone who sees beyond the spectacle, who understands the heart of what we do," he defended, though his cheeks betrayed him with a hint of color.
Jeongin's laughter filled the air, light and carefree. "Oh, I get it. She sees the magic behind the magic. That's special, isn't it?"
Hyunjin nodded, his gaze still fixed on the distance Y/N and Maya had disappeared into. "Yeah, it is. Most people come for the thrills, the laughs, and the awe. But Y/N and Maya, they looked deeper. They saw us."
The two performers turned back to face the now-emptying circus grounds, the energy of the open day lingering like a warm afterglow. "It's strange, isn't it?" Jeongin mused. "We started this circus to hide in plain sight, to use our performances as a shield. And now, we find ourselves hoping to be truly seen."
Hyunjin sighed, a thoughtful expression crossing his features. "Maybe it's time we let the world in a little more. Y/N reminded us that our stories, as dark as they may be, have the power to connect, to inspire... maybe even to heal."
Jeongin's eyes twinkled with a newfound determination. "Let's do it. Let's weave more of our truth into the tapestry of our performances. Who knows how many more Y/Ns and her friend are out there, looking for a piece of magic they can relate to?"
The decision settled between them like a silent pact, an agreement to open up their world a little wider, to share not just the spectacle of the circus but the soul behind it.
As they began to make their way back to the performers' quarters, Jeongin's voice echoed back to Hyunjin. "So, when are you going to invite Y/N back for a private tour? I'm sure she'd love to learn even more about the magic we create."
Hyunjin laughed, shaking his head at Jeongin's teasing. "We'll see. For now, let's focus on our next show. We have stories to tell, and I want them to be unforgettable."
The conversation faded into the night as the two performers disappeared behind the curtain, their spirits lifted by the promise of new beginnings. The open day had brought unexpected revelations and connections, bridging worlds that once seemed so distant. For Hyunjin and Jeongin, it was a reminder that behind every act, every trick, and every performance, there was a human story waiting to be told, and perhaps, waiting to be understood.
.
As Y/N and Maya stepped through the front door of Y/N's home, the familiar sound of raised voices greeted them. The living room was a battleground of words, with Y/N's mother and father locked in yet another argument about Y/N's future. Their voices clashed, each trying to drown out the other with their own version of reason, but neither willing to concede.
The lightness in Y/N's heart from the day's adventure quickly dimmed, the joyous echoes of the circus fading into the background. Maya, sensing her friend's discomfort, gave her sleeve a gentle tug, signaling a silent retreat to the sanctuary of Y/N's bedroom.
Y/N hesitated, the argument in the living room pulling at her attention. Her mother's voice, filled with passion, broke through, advocating for Y/N to have more freedom. "She needs to explore, to live! You can't keep her under lock and key forever," her mother argued, her frustration palpable.
Her father's rebuttal was immediate, his tone laced with the conviction of his overprotectiveness. "She has all the freedom she needs! The guards are for her safety, nothing more."
Y/N's heart ached at the words. To her father, freedom was a concept bounded by the presence of guards, a shadowed existence that felt more like a gilded cage than true liberty.
"Having someone watch over me every moment isn't freedom, Dad," Y/N whispered to herself, the words barely audible even in the quiet of the hallway.
Maya's gentle pull on her arm brought her back to the moment. With a resigned sigh, Y/N allowed her friend to lead her away from the heated exchange, up the stairs to the relative peace of her bedroom.
Once inside, Maya closed the door softly behind them, the muffled sounds of the argument below fading into a distant rumble.
She turned to Y/N, her expression a mix of concern and support. "I'm sorry, Y/N. It must be tough, feeling caught in the middle like this."
Y/N sank onto her bed, the events of the day colliding with the reality of her home life. "It's exhausting," she admitted. "I just wish they could see eye to eye, for once. My mom understands... She knows how much I crave real freedom, the kind we felt today at the circus."
Maya sat beside her, offering a comforting presence. "Your mom's right, you know. You deserve to explore, to find your own path. But maybe... maybe there's a way to help your dad see that too."
Y/N looked at Maya, hope flickering in her eyes. "How? He's so set in his ways. I've tried talking to him, but it always ends up in an argument."
"Maybe it's not about talking to him... not directly, at least," Maya mused. "What if we showed him? What if he could see firsthand what freedom means to you, how it changes you for the better?"
Y/N considered Maya's words, a plan slowly taking shape in her mind. "You mean like bringing him to the circus? Letting him see the magic, the joy it brings?"
"Exactly," Maya said, her voice growing excited. "He needs to understand that freedom isn't just about physical safety. It's about feeling alive, about connecting with something larger than yourself. And what better place to experience that than the circus?"
The idea was daring, perhaps even a little daunting, but Y/N felt a spark of determination ignite within her. "It's worth a try," she agreed, her mind racing with possibilities. "But we'll need to be careful, plan it just right."
The rest of the evening was spent in whispered conversations, plotting and planning how to bridge the gap between Y/N's worlds. They discussed every detail, from how to approach her mother with the idea to selecting the perfect circus performance that might captivate her father's heart. As night deepened, Y/N and Maya's plans grew more concrete, their strategy a blend of hope and daring. The challenge ahead was formidable, but for the first time in a long while, Y/N felt a flicker of optimism. The morning air was crisp and filled with the anticipation of freedom as Y/N and Maya readied themselves for a day out, unencumbered by the watchful eyes of Y/N's usual companions—the guards. As they were about to step through the door, Y/N's mother approached, her presence commanding the room.
"Girls, wait a moment," she called out, her voice carrying a mix of authority and excitement. The guard, already positioned by the door in his usual stance of vigilance, turned towards her, a questioning look in his eyes.
Y/N and Maya paused, an unspoken question hanging between them. Y/N's mother addressed the guard directly, her tone leaving no room for argument. "I'll be needing you today for something else. The girls will be fine on their own."
The guard, clearly caught off guard by the sudden change in plans, glanced between Y/N, Maya, and her mother, his training clashing with the direct order from a family member. "But sir," he started, referring to Y/N's father's previous instructions, "he was quite clear about—"
"Things have changed for today," Y/N's mother interjected firmly, cutting off any objections. "I require your assistance elsewhere. Please, trust me on this."
With a hesitant nod, the guard acquiesced, the confusion evident on his face but the respect for her authority overriding his concerns. He left, casting one last unsure look at Y/N and Maya before disappearing down the hall.
Y/N stood there, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within her. "Mom, what just happened? How did you...?" she stammered, her voice a cocktail of shock and disbelief.
Her mother turned to her, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth, a spark of rebellion in her eyes. "After last night's discussion, it became clear to me that something needed to change. Your father and I had quite the talk after you went to bed."
Maya, witnessing the exchange, nudged Y/N with a grin. "Looks like you're officially off the leash, huh?"
Y/N's mother continued, "Your father isn't thrilled, but we've agreed that you'll have a month to prove you can handle yourself without constant supervision. It's your chance to show him you're more than capable of managing your own safety."
Y/N, overwhelmed by the sudden shift in her reality, hugged her mother tightly. "Thank you, Mom. I won't let you down, I promise."
Her mother hugged her back, then stepped away, her gaze serious yet supportive. "I know you won't, darling. Just remember, with freedom comes responsibility. Make wise choices."
As they stepped out into the morning light, the absence of the guards felt surreal to Y/N. The world seemed wider, brighter, filled with possibilities that were previously clouded by the shadows of surveillance.
"Can you believe this, Maya?" Y/N asked, her voice a mix of elation and apprehension. "A whole month of freedom. It feels like I can finally breathe."
Maya linked her arm with Y/N's, sharing in her friend's newfound liberation. "Let's make the most of it. Starting with a shopping trip that doesn't involve sneaking around our own shadows."
They entered, the familiar jingle of the doorbell was like music to their ears, but it was the sight of Hyunjin and Felix that truly caught their attention. The unexpected encounter sent a thrill through Y/N, their eyes meeting across the room.
As Y/N and Maya placed their order, a silent exchange of glances between Y/N and Hyunjin sparked a flutter of anticipation. Maya, ever the keen observer, nudged Y/N playfully. "Looks like someone's happy to see you," she teased, her voice low but filled with mirth.
Encouraged by Felix's subtle prompting, Hyunjin approached them, his heart racing with a cocktail of nerves and eagerness. Adjusting his mask to partially conceal his scar, he offered a greeting that bridged the distance between them.
"Hey, didn't expect to run into you here," he said, his voice carrying a hint of warmth and uncertainty.
Y/N, caught in the unexpected moment, responded with a smile. "Yeah, it's a nice surprise," she managed, her heart echoing Hyunjin's nervousness.
Noticing the absence of Y/N's guards, Felix chimed in with a cheerful grin. "Looks like you're enjoying a bit of freedom today. Care to join us?" His eyes sparkled with the offer, inviting them into their world outside the circus.
Agreeing, they took their drinks and joined Felix and Hyunjin at their table, the arrangement of seats placing Y/N directly across from Hyunjin, and Maya opposite Felix. In a gesture of casual politeness, Felix placed his cap on the table's corner.
Hyunjin, with a hesitant motion, slid his mask just under his chin, exposing his scar to the ordinary world beyond the circus tent. It was a rare show of openness, one that he reserved for the stage or the safety of the circus family. Yet, here he was, revealing his vulnerabilities to Y/N in a setting far removed from the spotlights and applause. Felix, ever the conversationalist, took a moment from savoring his drink to delve into a topic that had piqued his interest since their arrival.
"So, how does it feel? Not having the guards shadowing your every move?" Felix inquired, his gaze fixed on Y/N, genuinely curious about her newfound freedom.
Y/N paused, allowing herself to truly consider the question. "It feels... liberating," she began, her voice laced with a sense of relief and wonder. "There's this lightness I hadn't realized I was missing until now. To move freely, without constant surveillance—it's like taking a deep breath after being underwater for too long."
Felix nodded, absorbing her words, then turned his attention to Maya. "And what about you? Did your family ever consider guards?" he asked, keen to understand the dynamics that shaped their experiences.
Maya chuckled softly, shaking her head. "No, nothing like that. My family's protective, sure, but not to the extent of Y/N's. I guess I've always taken my freedom for granted. Seeing what Y/N's been through, it does make me feel a bit guilty for not appreciating it more," she admitted, her tone tinged with empathy.
The conversation veered into the territory of parental protection, with Felix sharing his thoughts on the delicate balance between safeguarding loved ones and allowing them the space to grow. "It's a tricky line to walk," he mused. "Wanting to keep someone safe while also giving them the freedom to explore and make their own mistakes."
As Felix and Maya engaged in a lively discussion on various topics ranging from their favorite music to places they'd love to visit, Hyunjin found himself more attuned to Y/N, his gaze frequently drifting her way. Each time their eyes met, a wave of warmth washed over him, her shy smile sending his heart racing.
Y/N, for her part, felt a flutter of excitement each time she caught Hyunjin looking at her. There was something about the way he saw her—not as someone to be shielded and kept at arm's length, but as a person, vibrant and full of life. His attention made her feel seen, truly seen, in a way she hadn't experienced before.
At one point, amidst the chatter, Hyunjin seized a quiet moment to express his admiration. "You know, Y/N, there's something about you," he began, his voice soft but earnest. "Even with all the restrictions you've faced, you've managed to retain this... purity, this innocence. It's refreshing."
Y/N blushed at his words, a mix of bashfulness and delight swirling within her. "Thank you, Hyunjin. It's strange, but being here with you all, I feel like I'm finally getting a chance to just be myself. To let my guard down and not worry about who's watching."
Hyunjin smiled, his eyes conveying a depth of understanding. "That's all any of us can hope for, isn't it? To be ourselves, without fear or restraint. You shine, Y/N, especially now, free from those shadows."
As the hours slipped by, their conversation meandered through dreams and aspirations, fears and joys, each revelation drawing them closer. The café became a sanctuary where they could share pieces of themselves, building connections that transcended the ordinary. As they stepped out into the bustling streets, the atmosphere of the café lingering like a warm embrace, Y/N and Maya shared a moment of silent understanding. The encounters of the day had woven a thread of connection that felt both exhilarating and comforting.
"Today was something special, wasn't it?" Maya mused, her arm linked with Y/N's as they navigated the lively city around them. The freedom that Y/N experienced, unburdened by the watchful eyes of her guards, added a lightness to their steps.
"It really was," Y/N agreed, her mind replaying the conversations, the laughter, and the shared moments of vulnerability. The café had become a crucible for friendships that felt as if they'd been simmering for ages.
Maya, unable to contain her curiosity, let out a soft giggle. "You know, Hyunjin seemed... particularly interested in you. Did you notice the way he was looking at you?" she teased, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
Y/N felt her cheeks warm at the mention. "I might have noticed," she confessed, a shy smile playing on her lips. "There's just something about him. His perspective on life, his passion for the circus... it resonates with me. And, well, it doesn't hurt that he's quite handsome."
Maya nudged her playfully. "Quite handsome? That's an understatement! But I get it; it's more than just looks. You two seemed to really connect on a deeper level."
Y/N nodded, her heart still fluttering at the thought. "Yeah, we did. It's funny how you can meet someone and just instantly feel a bond, isn't it? His views, his dreams... they align with mine in a way I didn't expect. And being able to share that, even for a short while, felt... freeing."
The conversation drifted to dreams and aspirations, to the paths they wished to carve out for themselves. "What do you think the future holds?" Maya asked, her voice tinged with curiosity and hope.
Y/N pondered the question, the possibilities unfolding like a roadmap in her mind. "I hope it's filled with more days like today. Freedom to explore, to connect, to really live. And maybe... just maybe, to find out where these new friendships might lead."
As the sun began to dip below the skyline, casting a golden hue over the city, Y/N and Maya's steps took them closer to home. The promise of tomorrow, of future encounters, and the potential for something more with Hyunjin filled Y/N with a sense of anticipation she hadn't felt before.
"Let's make a pact," Maya suggested, squeezing Y/N's arm gently. "To always pursue this feeling of freedom, to keep exploring and opening our hearts to new experiences. Who knows where it might lead us?"
Y/N smiled, her heart full. "I'm in," she said, the pact sealing a promise not just to each other, but to themselves.
To chase the freedom they'd tasted today, to nurture the connections they'd made, and to embrace whatever adventures lay on the horizon. As Hyunjin and Felix made their way back to the circus, a quietness had settled over Hyunjin, a reflective silence that wasn't lost on Felix. The usually vibrant streets they walked through seemed to mirror Hyunjin's introspective mood, prompting Felix to break the silence between them.
"Hey," Felix began, his voice tinged with concern, nudging Hyunjin gently. "You've been awfully quiet. This isn't like you. What's on your mind?"
Hyunjin let out a sigh, his thoughts swirling with images of Y/N, their interactions both at the circus and the café playing on repeat in his mind. "It's just... ever since that first performance, when I chose her from the crowd and gave her those flowers, I haven't been able to stop thinking about her," he admitted, his voice low.
Felix raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile creeping onto his face. "Ah, so it's Y/N that's got you all tangled up in thoughts, huh? I noticed the way you two were today. There's something special there, isn't there?"
Hyunjin couldn't help but smile at the memory of their recent encounter, the ease of their conversation, and the undeniable connection he felt. "Yeah, there is. It's strange, Felix. I've met countless people through the circus, but with Y/N, it's different. There's this... genuine curiosity and understanding. And today, without the guards around, it was like seeing her in a new light."
Felix chuckled, clapping Hyunjin on the back. "I saw that. You two were in your little world. But, Hyunjin, this is good, isn't it? It's rare to find someone who resonates with you on such a level."
Hyunjin nodded, a mix of apprehension and excitement in his heart. "It is good. I just don't know what to do next. I mean, her father is so protective, and then there's the circus. Our worlds are so different."
"True, our worlds are different," Felix agreed, his tone turning thoughtful. "But isn't that the beauty of it? The circus has always been about bringing together the unlikely, about creating magic from the unexpected. Maybe it's not about the differences in your worlds, but about what you bring to each other's lives."
Hyunjin considered Felix's words, the wisdom in them clear. "You're right, Felix. I've been so caught up in how different our lives are that I almost forgot the essence of what we do—connecting with people, no matter where they come from."
Felix smiled, his eyes alight with encouragement. "Exactly. So, what are you going to do about it? You can't let this connection just fade into a 'what if,' Hyunjin."
Hyunjin took a deep breath, a newfound resolve taking shape. "I'm going to see her again. I want to explore this connection, see where it might lead. I can't promise it'll be easy, but I have to try."
As they reached the circus, the air filled with the familiar sounds and smells of their otherworldly home, both performers knew they were stepping back into their roles, but with a slight shift in their perspectives. For Hyunjin, the encounter with Y/N had opened up a realm of possibilities, a chance to bridge the gap between the grandeur of the circus and the simplicity of genuine human connection.
Felix, seeing the determination in Hyunjin's eyes, clapped him on the shoulder. "That's the spirit! Remember, the circus isn't just about the acts we perform; it's about the lives we touch. And maybe, just maybe, it's about the hearts we connect with along the way."
With the circus tents rising before them, both performers felt a renewed sense of purpose. For Hyunjin, it was the promise of pursuing something real, something beyond the sparkle and spectacle. The excitement in the air was palpable as Y/N stepped outside, the setting sun casting long shadows on the ground. Maya, brimming with enthusiasm, awaited her arrival. But before they could revel in their anticipation, Y/N's father's stern voice sliced through the evening calm.
"Y/N, remember to be careful," he called out, his tone as cold and sharp as ever. "And I expect you straight home after the show. No dallying."
Y/N nodded, a tight smile on her face. "I will, Dad. I promise," she responded, her voice carrying a mix of reassurance and the slightest hint of defiance. With a final glance back, she joined Maya, and they set off for the circus, the promise of an unforgettable night ahead.
Upon their arrival, Bang Chan greeted them with his characteristic warmth, his eyes lighting up at the sight of Y/N sans her usual entourage. "Ah, Y/N! Flying solo tonight?" he remarked with a grin, taking their tickets.
"It feels strange but good," Y/N admitted, her smile genuine. "It's a new kind of freedom."
Bang Chan nodded, understandingly. "Enjoy the show, you two. It's going to be a special one."
They found their seats at the front, the anticipation building as the circus came to life around them. The comedy act with Jeongin and Felix was a hit, their clown-like costumes barely concealing the talent and charisma that had the audience in stitches. Felix's occasional glances toward Maya didn't go unnoticed by Y/N, who leaned over to whisper, "Looks like someone's got a fan."
Maya blushed, her eyes flitting between Felix and the stage. "Do you think so? He's really funny... and kind of cute."
Y/N giggled, nodding. "Definitely. There's something there, I can tell."
The laughter and light-hearted banter continued until Jeongin, in his boundless energy, approached Y/N and invited her onto the stage. The spontaneity of the moment, the thrill of being part of the act, was exhilarating.
Lee Know's performance followed, his new song touching hearts and drawing tears with its beauty and emotional depth. Y/N found herself moved by the music, the lyrics resonating with a part of her that yearned for adventure and connection.
But it was Hyunjin's act that captivated her entirely. The ring of fire, his all-black attire, and the way he commanded the flames—it was mesmerizing. His gaze found hers during the performance, a smirk playing on his lips, sending a shiver down her spine. Y/N's heart raced, her cheeks flushed with a warmth that was new and thrilling.
As the act concluded, the audience erupted in applause, the performers backstage joining in the celebration of Hyunjin's triumph. Backstage, the camaraderie was palpable, Felix nudging Hyunjin with a knowing grin, "Did you see Y/N's reaction? She was completely spellbound."
Hyunjin, unable to hide his smile, peered past the curtain, catching Y/N animatedly discussing the performance with Maya. It was a sight that warmed his heart, the connection between them undeniable.
As the audience began to disperse, Y/N and Maya made their way toward the exit, only for Y/N to feel a gentle yet firm hand on her waist. Startled, she turned to find Hyunjin standing close behind her, his presence sending her heart into a flutter.
"Come with me," he whispered, his voice barely above a murmur, inviting her backstage. Y/N, caught off guard by his closeness and the unexpected invitation, could only nod, her cheeks aflame.
Meanwhile, Felix approached Maya with a casual ease, "How about joining us backstage? I think you've earned a closer look at how the magic happens."
As they ventured backstage, the vibrant life behind the circus unfolded before Y/N and Maya, a world unseen by the audience. Hyunjin, with a subtle touch, guided Y/N through the bustling area, his hand resting lightly on her waist, a gesture of guidance rather than possession. They were shown the intricacies of circus life: the large field dotted with tents, each serving a unique purpose—from dining to sleeping quarters. Y/N's eyes widened in awe; this nomadic lifestyle was new to her, every detail fascinating.
"It's like a whole other world back here," Y/N remarked, her voice filled with wonder.
Hyunjin smiled at her reaction. "It's our world, one we're proud to call home. Every tent has a story, every face a journey."
Unnoticed by Y/N, Felix had subtly drawn Maya aside, offering them a moment of privacy. It was only when Hyunjin stopped outside a particularly cozy-looking tent that Y/N realized they were alone. Her heart skipped a beat, not just from the thrill of the new environment but from the proximity to Hyunjin.
Hyunjin leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Do you trust me?" he asked, his eyes— one scarred and the other a deep brown—locking onto hers with an intensity that took her breath away.
Without hesitation, Y/N nodded again. There was something in his gaze that made her feel safe, even here, on the edge of the unknown.
He smiled, a genuine, heartwarming smile, and gently pulled back the tent flap. "Come on, then. Let's escape the cold for a bit."
The tent was surprisingly cozy, filled with warm blankets and soft lights that cast a golden glow on everything. Hyunjin looked different here, the shadows playing off his costume, giving him an almost mystical appearance.
"Y/N," he called softly, bringing her attention back to him. She turned, finding him closer than she expected, his presence overwhelming in the best way.
"Yes?" Her reply came out as more of a whisper, her heart racing as he stepped even closer.
For a moment, they just looked at each other, the world outside fading away. Then, with a tenderness that made her heart swell, Hyunjin cupped her cheeks in his hands. Y/N's eyes fluttered closed, lost in the sensation, then opened again to meet his gaze, her own drifting to his lips, whispering his name in anticipation. The moment their lips met, Y/N felt a surge of emotion, a mix of nervousness and excitement. She responded instinctively, her hands finding their way to his shirt, clutching it for grounding as the kiss deepened. It was a discovery for both of them, exploring a connection they hadn't dared to acknowledge until now. Her soft moan was a testament to the intensity of their feelings, a silent plea for more of this newfound affection. In the intimate cocoon of Hyunjin's tent, the world outside ceased to exist, replaced by a realm of newfound emotions and unspoken promises. The connection between Hyunjin and Y/N deepened with each shared breath, their earlier conversations and laughter giving way to a silence filled with anticipation and desire. Hyunjin's hands, once cradling Y/N's face with tender care, now rested on her waist, drawing her closer, sealing the space between them. Y/N, responding to the unspoken invitation, wrapped her arms around his neck, their lips meeting in a kiss that spoke of longing, discovery, and a fearless dive into the depths of their connection.
'If my father knew about this...' Y/N's thought trailed off, lost in the whirlwind of emotions Hyunjin stirred within her. Yet, the fear of her father's wrath paled in comparison to the magnetic pull she felt towards Hyunjin. In that moment, her need for him eclipsed all else.
Breaking the kiss, Hyunjin gazed into her eyes, a silent conversation passing between them. The intensity in his gaze sent shivers through her, a testament to the gravity of what was unfolding. It was her turn now, her response fueled by an urgency that matched his own, their kisses growing more passionate, more insistent.
Hyunjin's groan vibrated through them, a sound that heightened the electricity in the air. Gently, he laid Y/N down, his body hovering over hers, a protective and yet vulnerable gesture. The world narrowed down to the space they shared, every touch, every breath, amplifying the connection that tethered them together.
As Hyunjin's lips found her neck, Y/N trembled, the sensation igniting sparks along her skin. His hands, both gentle and urgent, pulled her closer, their bodies speaking a language older than words. In that moment, Y/N felt seen, understood, and cherished.
"Are you okay?" Hyunjin's voice, soft and concerned, broke through the haze of her arousal.
"Yes," Y/N breathed, her voice a whisper of trust and desire. "I want this, Hyunjin. I want you."
Their conversation became a symphony of sighs and murmurs, each word, each touch, weaving a deeper connection. Hyunjin moved with a reverence that belied the passion simmering beneath the surface, each movement deliberate, each pause filled with the weight of unspoken promises. The heat between them built, a crescendo of sensation and emotion that threatened to overwhelm yet felt achingly right. Y/N clung to Hyunjin, her grip a testament to the intensity of her feelings, the novelty of the experience etching itself into her memory. As they moved together, lost in the moment, their voices filled the tent, a testament to the depth of their connection. Hyunjin's movements quickened, each kiss, each touch, pushing them closer to the edge of something profound. Y/N's soft cry, a mixture of surprise and delight, melded with Hyunjin's restrained curse, their bodies moving in perfect harmony. The world outside, with its rules and judgments, faded into insignificance, replaced by the undeniable truth of their connection. When the moment came, it was with a sense of completion, a shared breath that spoke of unity and discovery. Hyunjin's movement, a gentle caress, served as a soft epilogue to their symphony of sighs and whispers. Laying beside Y/N, he wrapped an arm around her, a silent vow of protection and care.
"Thank you for trusting me," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
"Thank you for showing me your world," Y/N replied, her own voice laced with gratitude.
After sharing a moment of quiet intimacy, Y/N and Hyunjin were gently pulled back to reality by the distant sound of their friends' voices. Felix and Maya's muffled calls seemed to echo through the thick fabric of the tent, a reminder of the world waiting outside their secluded haven.
Hyunjin's hand paused in its tender motion along Y/N's arms, and they shared a look of amused surprise before breaking into soft laughter. "Sounds like we've been missed," Hyunjin whispered, his eyes twinkling with mirth.
"Yeah, I guess it's time to face the music," Y/N replied, her voice a mix of reluctance and anticipation for rejoining their friends.
With a mutual understanding, they began to ready themselves to leave the tent. Hyunjin stood first, offering Y/N a hand to help her up. "Let me help you," he said, as they navigated the small space with an ease born of newfound closeness.
As they stepped out into the cooler night air, they found Felix and Maya waiting with their backs to the tent, engrossed in their own conversation. Hyunjin and Y/N exchanged a glance, a silent agreement to try and act as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, despite the residual glow of their shared moment.
"Hey, you two," Felix called out, turning around with a grin. "We were starting to think you'd run off to join another circus."
Maya laughed, linking her arm with Y/N's. "Did you enjoy the grand tour?" she teased, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.
"It was... enlightening," Y/N managed to say, her cheeks warming at the memory of the evening's more personal moments.
Hyunjin cleared his throat, stepping forward. "It was our pleasure to show you around."
Felix nodded in agreement, then pulled out his phone. "Let me get you a taxi. It's getting late, and we wouldn't want to keep you out too long."
The taxi arrived shortly, and after heartfelt goodbyes, Y/N and Maya climbed inside, leaving the circus and its enchantment behind. As the car pulled away, Felix turned to Hyunjin, the smirk on his face impossible to miss.
He clapped Hyunjin on the shoulder, "Seems like you've cast quite the spell tonight," he remarked, a hint of brotherly teasing in his voice.
Hyunjin simply smiled, a look of contentment on his face. "Tonight was special," he admitted, his thoughts lingering on Y/N's smile and the promise of what might lie ahead.
As they parted ways for the night, each carrying their own thoughts and feelings about the evening, the magic of the circus seemed to linger in the air, a reminder of the connections made and the moments shared.
The ride back was filled with whispered conversations and shared laughter, Maya playfully nudging Y/N. "So, a different kind of magic, huh?" she teased, her voice low enough for only Y/N to hear.
Y/N's response was a mix of embarrassment and happiness. "Let's just say the circus has more wonders than I ever imagined," she whispered back, her gaze lost in the memories of the night.
.
Hyunjin awoke with the lingering warmth of the previous night's memories, a gentle smile curving his lips. As he rose from his bed, a newfound sense of self-assurance enveloped him. Standing before the mirror, he regarded his reflection with fresh eyes. The scar across his left eye, once a source of insecurity, now seemed to him a mark of his unique story, one that Y/N had seen beauty in.
"She saw beyond it," Hyunjin mused aloud, the realization that Y/N accepted him wholly bringing a light to his eyes that hadn't been there before.
Dressing quickly, he stepped out, ready to face the day, only to encounter Seungmin, Minho, and Bang Chan waiting outside. Bang Chan's eyebrow arched inquisitively, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. "So, Hyunjin, how was your evening with our favorite audience member?" he teased, the amusement clear in his voice.
Hyunjin's cheeks flushed a deep shade of red, the unexpected question catching him off guard. Seungmin and Minho couldn't contain their laughter at Hyunjin's embarrassment, further adding to the playful atmosphere.
Seungmin, trying to catch his breath between laughs, managed to say, "Felix might have mentioned something about a backstage tour last night. Spill the details, Hyunjin!"
Hyunjin, now thoroughly embarrassed but also filled with the happiness of shared moments, tried to deflect. "It was nothing out of the ordinary, just showing them around, you know?"
Minho, still chuckling, nudged Hyunjin playfully. "Come on, you can tell us more. We're your brothers, aren't we? Was it magical?"
Bang Chan, always the leader, stepped in with a smile. "Alright, let's give Hyunjin a break. But, it's good to see you happy, Hyunjin. This place... it's not just about the performances we put on. It's about the connections we make, the lives we touch."
Hyunjin, feeling the support and camaraderie of his friends, nodded, a genuine smile returning to his face. "Thanks, guys. Last night was special, not just because of the tour. It was... it felt right, being with Y/N, showing her our world."
The group shared a moment of understanding, recognizing the significance of Hyunjin's words. Seungmin clapped Hyunjin on the shoulder, "Well, we're happy for you. Who knows, maybe there's more magic to come."
As they continued with their morning routines, the conversation shifted to the day's performances, but Hyunjin's thoughts remained with Y/N. As Y/N floated through the house, her steps light and her heart full, the melody of her humming filled the air, a sweet testament to her blissful state. The memory of the previous night with Hyunjin played on repeat in her mind, bringing a radiant smile to her face that she couldn't contain.
The household staff—cleaners, chefs, and guards—all paused in their duties to watch her, a rare sight of such unbridled joy. They exchanged knowing looks, attributing her happiness to the newfound freedom she'd been granted, unaware of the true source of her elation.
Even the family butler, usually so reserved and stoic, couldn't help but crack a smile at the sight of Y/N's happiness. It was as if her joy was infectious, spreading warmth throughout the grand, often too-silent, house.
Her mother, entering the living room, found herself momentarily taken aback by the scene. Watching her daughter twirl and dance around the room, she felt a surge of affection and a deep gratitude for seeing Y/N so genuinely happy. With a tender smile, she called out to her daughter, her voice soft yet clear. "Y/N, my dear, what has gotten into you today?"
Y/N came to a graceful stop, her smile unwavering as she faced her mother. "Oh, Mom," she sighed, her eyes sparkling with the remnants of last night's magic. "It's just been a wonderful couple of days."
Her mother walked closer, intrigued and delighted by her daughter's demeanor. "This wouldn't have anything to do with your visit to the circus, would it?" she teased gently, a twinkle in her own eye.
Y/N blushed, the mention of the circus bringing back a flood of vivid memories. "Maybe," she admitted, her voice a whisper of excitement. "There's just something about that place... and the people there. It's like they've shown me a whole new world."
Her mother took her hands, leading her to sit on one of the plush sofas in the room. "Tell me everything, Y/N. Who is 'they'? And what has made you see the world so differently?" Her curiosity was piqued, not just by her daughter's joy, but by the hint of something deeper, a connection perhaps yet unspoken.
Y/N, taking a deep breath, began to recount her experiences at the circus, from the breathtaking performances to the magical behind-the-scenes tour. She spoke of Hyunjin with a warmth and fondness that couldn't be masked, detailing their shared moments with a shy enthusiasm.
As Y/N spoke, her mother listened intently, absorbing every detail. It was clear that this wasn't just a fleeting moment of happiness; something significant had touched her daughter's heart. "Hyunjin sounds like a remarkable young man," her mother observed, her words thoughtful, encouraging Y/N to open up further.
Y/N's voice trembled with excitement as she recounted her experiences, her mother's attentive gaze encouraging her to open up more than she ever had before.
"Mom, Hyunjin... he's just incredible. The way he performs, it's like he's telling a story, inviting us into his world," Y/N shared, her hands animatedly moving in the air.
Her mother, intrigued, leaned in. "It sounds like he's quite the performer. And it seems like he's made a special impression on you?"
Blushing, Y/N nodded. "Yes, but it's more than that. He's kind, genuine, and... he sees the world in such a unique way. It's refreshing."
Seeing her daughter so vibrant, her mother couldn't help but smile. "I'm happy for you, Y/N. It's beautiful to see you so passionate about something...someone."
The mention of someone brought a hint of concern to Y/N's voice. "But, Mom, what about Dad? You know how he feels about the circus, and if he finds out about Hyunjin..."
Her mother sighed, a thoughtful frown creasing her brow. "We'll deal with your father together. The most important thing is your happiness, Y/N. We can't live our lives based on fear."
"But how can we convince him? He's never going to understand," Y/N's worry was palpable, her newfound joy shadowed by the prospect of her father's disapproval.
Her mother reached out, taking Y/N's hands in hers. "Let me worry about your father. Maybe it's time he saw the circus through your eyes. Perhaps if he understands what it means to you, he might see things differently."
Y/N looked up, hope mingling with surprise. "You think that could work? That he might actually listen?"
"It's worth a try. And I'll be right there with you. We'll show him that the circus, that Hyunjin, has brought you something special — joy, inspiration. Things every parent wants for their child," her mother said firmly, her resolve clear.
Y/N felt a weight lift off her shoulders, her mother's support giving her strength. "Thank you, Mom. For believing in me, for standing by me."
They shared a warm embrace, the morning light wrapping around them like a cocoon of hope and love. "Together, we'll face whatever comes. Your dreams are worth fighting for," her mother whispered.
As the anticipation built, Hyunjin found himself scanning the crowd for a familiar face, his heart skipping a beat at the thought of seeing Y/N again. After the closeness they'd shared, every moment away from her felt like an eternity. He adjusted his magician's attire, trying to calm the flutter in his stomach.
Chanbin noticed Hyunjin's unease and clapped him on the back, a smirk on his face. "Nervous, are we? She'll be here, don't worry," he teased, trying to lighten the mood.
Meanwhile, Y/N and her family were making their way to the circus, a mix of excitement and apprehension in the air. Y/N's mother, beaming with support, squeezed her hand reassuringly, while her father's presence loomed quietly, his skepticism a silent shadow.
As they approached the entrance, Y/N's grip on the tickets tightened, her excitement tempered by the weight of what this night meant. Bang Chan's eyes sparkled with recognition as he saw Y/N, but his usual warm greeting was tempered by the sight of her parents.
"Welcome," he said, his voice carrying a professional edge, as he collected their tickets.
Finding their seats at the front, Y/N took a deep breath, her mother's excitement infectious, her father's indifference a challenge she hoped to overcome by the night's end. The lights dimmed, signaling the beginning of the show, and Bang Chan's voice filled the tent, welcoming the audience to a world of wonder.
The opening act was a vibrant display of song and dance, the main eight performers taking the stage with an energy that was both infectious and inspiring. As they sang "Welcome to my home," their unique scars were displayed not as flaws but as badges of honor, a testament to their resilience and spirit. Seungmin's burn, I.N's playful yet intense demeanor, Felix's captivating eyes, Jisung's mysterious eyepatch, Lee Know's graceful movements despite his prosthetic leg, Bang Chan's strength despite his prosthetic arm, Chanbin's chest scar, and Hyunjin's scarred and blind left eye — each performer shone, their differences making the performance all the more beautiful.
From the stage, Hyunjin's gaze found Y/N, a subtle acknowledgment passing between them. He noted the older couple with her, their presence making him cautious in his expressions of recognition. While Y/N and her mother were caught up in the magic of the performance, her father remained impassive, his expression unreadable.
During a brief interlude, Y/N leaned over to her mother, whispering excitedly, "This is it, Mom. This is the magic I was telling you about."
Her mother, equally captivated, whispered back, "It's incredible, Y/N. I see it now, the joy, the passion. It's all so...real."
Her father, overhearing the exchange, remained silent, his gaze fixed on the stage, the performers' energy challenging his preconceptions. As the show continued, each act unfolding with more spectacle and wonder, Y/N felt a mix of emotions. Pride for the performers she'd come to admire, hope for her mother's newfound appreciation, and a lingering concern for her father's reaction.
The show unfolded with an array of stunning performances, each unique and captivating. Y/N leaned toward her mother, whispering with excitement, "Mom, look, this one's new. I haven't seen it before!"
Her mother smiled, equally engrossed. "It's wonderful, Y/N. Every act is a surprise."
On stage, Jeongin, in his comedic clown act with Felix, tried once again to summon a bouquet of flowers. Instead, a bundle of twigs with a few petals appeared in his hands. He approached a lady in the front row, presenting the twigs with a theatrical bow and a wide, infectious smile. The audience chuckled as Felix quipped a witty remark and playfully bonked Jeongin on the head with a juggling club, their chemistry undeniable. Lee Know then took the stage, his voice carrying a beautiful melody, accompanied by dancers and acrobats. The performance was mesmerizing, drawing applause and admiration from the crowd. Chanbin's lion taming act followed, as impressive as ever, demonstrating an incredible bond and command over the majestic animal. Seungmin and Jisung showcased their acrobatic skills, performing a unique dance that combined ground movements and aerial feats, leaving the audience spellbound. Then it was time for Hyunjin's magic act. Darker and more intense than usual, it captivated everyone, drawing them into a world of mystery and intrigue. After performing a classic flower summoning trick that always pleased the crowd, Hyunjin prepared for something more interactive. He sought a volunteer, and as numerous hands shot up, whispers of his attractiveness and talent filled the air. Y/N, heart racing, timidly raised her hand. Hyunjin's eyes scanned the eager audience before playfully gesturing to the raised hands and finally settling on Y/N. A hush fell over the crowd as he approached her, offering a bow and an outstretched hand. Y/N, with a mixture of excitement and nervousness, took his hand and stood.
Her father's and mother's breaths hitched, the tension palpable. Hyunjin, sensing their concern, turned to assure them with a confident smile, "She's in good hands, I promise."
Leading Y/N into the center of the circle, Hyunjin prepared for the trick, the audience watching in anticipation. Y/N's mother leaned over to her husband, whispering, "See? It's all in good fun. She's safe with him."
Her father, still rigid, nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on Y/N and Hyunjin. The magic trick unfolded, with Hyunjin guiding Y/N through each step, their interaction seamless and filled with light-hearted banter that put everyone at ease, even her father.
As the act concluded to resounding applause, Y/N returned to her seat, her cheeks flushed with excitement. "That was incredible, Y/N!" her mother exclaimed, hugging her. As the final act of the circus came to a close, the vibrant energy of the evening began to wane, replaced by a quiet sense of anticipation. Y/N glanced between her mother, whose eyes sparkled with a revived passion for the performing arts, and her father, whose expression remained a stoic mask, giving nothing away.
Walking back to the car, Y/N tried to gauge her father's thoughts. "Did you enjoy the show, Dad?" she ventured, hoping for some sign of approval.
Her father remained silent until they were safely ensconced in their car, driving away from the circus. It was her mother who broke the silence first, her voice filled with enthusiasm. "Oh, Y/N, that was simply wonderful! It reminded me of my days in the theater. The passion, the creativity... it's all so inspiring!"
Y/N smiled, warmed by her mother's words, but the cold silence from her father chilled the air. As they arrived home, the tension was palpable. Y/N lingered, waiting for her father to speak.
Finally, he broke the silence, his voice stern and final. "I did not approve of what I saw tonight. That place...it's not right for you, Y/N."
Her heart sank. "But Dad, the circus is amazing! It's full of art and beauty and..."
He cut her off sharply. "It has corrupted your judgment. It's childish and a bad influence. Those performers...they're not the sort of people we associate with. They're...different."
Y/N's mother interjected, trying to mediate. "Dear, maybe we should talk about this calmly. Y/N has found something she truly loves..."
Her father was unyielding. "No. I've made up my mind. Starting tomorrow, the guards will be back by your side, Y/N. You are no longer allowed to visit the circus or see that magician. This nonsense ends now."
Y/N felt as if the ground had been pulled from under her. Tears welled up in her eyes. "Dad, please...you don't understand. Hyunjin, the circus, they've shown me so much. It's not what you think."
“Enough!" His voice boomed, echoing through the hall, causing the household staff to glance their way, worry etched on their faces.
Her mother reached out, a soothing hand on Y/N's shoulder, but the damage was done. "Go to your room, Y/N," her father ordered, his voice leaving no room for argument.
Heartbroken, Y/N fled, the echo of her father's decree haunting her. As she reached her sanctuary, tears streamed down her face, the magic of the evening tarnished by her father's words. In her room, Y/N felt a world away from the joy and acceptance she'd experienced at the circus. The thought of never seeing Hyunjin again, of never being part of that magical world, filled her with despair.
Her mother soon knocked gently on her door. "Y/N? Can I come in?"
Y/N wiped her tears. "Yes, Mom."
Her mother entered, sitting beside her on the bed. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'll talk to him, I promise. We'll find a way through this."
Y/N's world had grown smaller, each day bleeding into the next under the watchful eyes of her guards. Her heart, once alight with dreams of the circus and whispers of love, now felt heavy with unshed tears and words left unsaid.
"I just... I love him, Mom," Y/N sobbed into her mother's embrace, the confession spilling from her in a desperate whisper. Her mother, her heart breaking for her daughter, held her tight, offering silent strength and understanding.
Maya, ever the loyal friend, tried to pierce the veil of Y/N's isolation with her presence. But the sight of the guards, a constant reminder of Y/N's shackles, dimmed her usual vibrant spirit. "We'll find a way through this," she murmured, wrapping an arm around Y/N, though the path forward seemed obscured by shadows.
Hyunjin, on the other side of the city, felt a void where Y/N's presence used to be. "Has anyone seen her? It's been weeks," he asked, his voice echoing the confusion and hurt that had taken residence in his heart. The performers, too, felt the absence of their bright, regular audience member. "Y/N always said her father was protective, but this...," Felix trailed off, the situation leaving a bitter taste.
As Y/N retreated further into her isolation, Maya's attempts to bridge the gap were met with a door closed by fear and a father's decree. Y/N's world narrowed to the confines of her room, her spirit dimming with each passing day. Then, a day came when laughter, so rare in their home, drew Y/N from her solitude. Curiosity leading her, she found her father in the company of strangers — the Choi family. The introduction to Soobin, a young man who seemed as out of place as she felt, was punctuated by an awkward politeness.
It was the mention of marriage by Mrs. Choi that sliced through the polite façade, leaving a stunned silence in its wake. "Marriage?" Y/N echoed, her voice a mix of disbelief and rising panic. Soobin's sigh, laden with resignation, mirrored her own turmoil.
Her father, oblivious to her shock, beamed with pride. "Yes, marriage. It's high time you settled down, Y/N. The Choi family is respectable, and Soobin here is a fine young man."
Y/N's mother, caught off guard, shot her husband a look of surprise and concern. "But this is so sudden. Y/N, we haven't discussed..."
"We've made the decision for her best interest," her father interrupted, his tone leaving no room for debate.
Maya, who had managed to slip in unnoticed, exchanged a worried glance with Y/N. "Y/N, you can't let them do this to you," she whispered urgently.
Y/N, her mind racing, felt trapped. The thought of a life dictated by her father's will, devoid of the love and freedom she yearned for, tightened around her heart like a vice.
As the room swirled around her, Y/N's thoughts flew to Hyunjin, to the magic and love she'd found in his presence. In that moment, amidst the talk of arranged marriages and futures not her own, Y/N realized the true cost of her silence.
"I won't do this," Y/N found her voice, her resolve hardening. "I won't marry someone I don't love. My heart... it belongs to someone else."
The room's atmosphere was thick with tension as Y/N stood defiantly, her declaration not just a plea for her love but a staunch defense of her freedom. Her father, face flushed with a mix of anger and embarrassment, rebuked her sharply. "Y/N, silence!" he demanded, the room falling deathly quiet at his command. "In front of our guests, you speak of such nonsense? You will marry into the Choi family, and that's final. Forget this magician and his circus. It's for your own good."
Soobin, up until now a silent observer of the unfolding family drama, showed a spark of interest at the mention of the circus. "The circus?" he inquired, an intrigued look crossing his features.
His parents, momentarily distracted from the confrontation, lit up at the mention. "Oh, we've always adored the circus," Soobin's mother said, her tone suddenly lively. "Such a fascinating world of talent and dreams."
"And Felix," Soobin's father added with a smile, "he's a remarkable performer there. Met Soobin after a show, and they've been friends since."
At the mention of Felix, Maya's face flushed a deep shade of red, her eyes darting between Soobin and Y/N. "You know Felix?" she blurted out, her voice tinged with a mixture of surprise and something akin to excitement.
Soobin nodded, a hint of pride in his voice. "Yes, our friendship formed in the most unexpected of places. His passion for the circus, his art... it's truly inspiring. It's a world where creativity and passion flourish."
Seizing the momentary shift in the conversation, Y/N turned to her parents, her voice imbued with a mixture of hope and desperation. "See? The circus isn't just frivolity. It's about dedication, artistry... it's where I feel most alive. Hyunjin, Felix, and everyone there, they're not just performers; they're family."
Her mother, visibly moved by Y/N's passionate defense, sought to mediate. "Perhaps we've been too quick to judge," she said softly, her gaze pleading with her husband.
Y/N's father, however, remained unmoved, his face a mask of disapproval. "Y/N, your involvement with the circus and this magician... it's not the future we envisioned for you."
Soobin, sensing an opportunity to ease the tension, offered a thoughtful suggestion. "Understanding and seeing are two different things. Maybe there's merit in experiencing the world Y/N speaks of so fondly."
The room grew silent, the idea hanging in the balance. Y/N's father, after a tense pause, shook his head. "Our decision stands. Y/N, your future lies with the Choi family. This discussion is over."
Y/N, her heart sinking, looked between her parents, the finality in her father's voice dashing any hope of reconciliation. "But I love him," she whispered, a last desperate plea.
Her father's response was cold, uncompromising. "Your feelings for this... magician are irrelevant. You'll see, in time, this is for the best."
Maya, standing beside Y/N, squeezed her friend's hand in silent support. The mention of Felix had briefly illuminated a path to understanding, but Y/N's father's decision cast a long shadow over their hopes.
In the quiet aftermath of the day, the [Last Name] residence stood imposingly under the waning sun. Maya, with a determined stride, was the first to exit, her mind racing with plans and worries. Inside, Y/N retreated to the solace of her room, a sanctuary from the storm brewing in her life.
Mrs. [Last Name], after ensuring the Choi family was well on their way, turned to Soobin with a plea that carried the weight of a mother's love and desperation. "Soobin," she began, her voice steady yet imbued with urgency, "I need your help. My daughter... she's being forced into a life she doesn't want. She loves someone else—Hyunjin. We need to get her out, to give her the freedom to be with the one she truly loves. Can I count on you?"
Soobin, a mixture of surprise and empathy shadowing his features, nodded solemnly. "Mrs. [Last Name], I had no idea. Of course, you can count on me. It's clear Y/N and Hyunjin mean a lot to each other. I'll do whatever I can to help."
Unbeknownst to them, Maya, who had lingered near the entrance, overheard the conversation. Stepping forward, her resolve shone brightly. "I'm here too. Y/N is my best friend, and I'll do anything to help her be happy."
Mr. and Mrs. Choi, having paused at the doorstep, turned at Maya's declaration. Their expressions softened, regret coloring their features. "We came under the impression that Y/N was aware and agreeable to this arrangement," Mr. Choi admitted, his voice laced with disappointment. "To hear this...it's not something we can support. Love should be the foundation of marriage, not obligation."
Mrs. Choi added, "Our son deserves happiness, but not at the cost of another's freedom. We stand with Y/N in her choice."
With a newfound alliance formed under the most unexpected circumstances, Maya and Soobin wasted no time. They made their way to the circus, hoping against hope to find Hyunjin and rally the support they desperately needed. The circus, usually bustling with life and laughter, stood silent, its gates locked on the performers' day off. Yet, fortune favored them as Bang Chan and Felix, deep in conversation, were spotted near the entrance.
Felix's eyes lit up at the sight of Soobin, and even more so at Maya's presence. A hint of color crept into his cheeks, his usual composure slipping slightly. "Soobin, Maya," he greeted, curiosity piqued. "What brings you here, especially today?"
"It's about Y/N," Maya stated, the urgency in her voice cutting through the evening air.
At the mention of Y/N's name, a silent understanding passed between Bang Chan and Felix. Without hesitation, they ushered Maya and Soobin inside, into the heart of the silent circus. As they entered, the main eight performers, momentarily pausing their private endeavours, gathered around. The arrival of outsiders, especially under such unusual circumstances, piqued their interest.
Soobin, with a gravity that belied his years, shared Y/N's plight. "Her father's intentions have worsened. He's forcing her into a marriage she doesn't want. We've tried reasoning with him, but it's futile. Even Mrs. [Last Name]'s attempts have been rebuffed. Our last resort is to help Y/N escape, to be with Hyunjin."
The performers exchanged glances, the gravity of the situation sinking in. Bang Chan, ever the leader, stepped forward. "This is more than a call for help; it's a call to arms for us. Y/N is one of our own, through her love for Hyunjin and the circus. We will stand by her, do whatever it takes."
Felix, looking from Maya to Soobin, then back to the gathered performers, said, "We need a plan, something foolproof. Her father cannot know until it's too late for him to intervene."
Jeongin, always the creative thinker, suggested, "What if we create a diversion? Not the circus, but something else that demands his attention away from Y/N?"
Seungmin, the strategist, added, "We could fabricate an event, something prestigious enough that he wouldn't dare miss. That would give us the window we need."
Hyunjin, who had been quiet, his thoughts on Y/N, finally spoke up. "Thank you, all of you. But we need to ensure Y/N's safety above all. Where can she go where her father won't find her?"
Chanbin, known for his resourcefulness, had an answer. "I know a place, a safe house. It's secluded and secure. Perfect for Y/N until things settle down."
In the quiet of the early morning, the [Last Name] household was a hive of silent activity. Y/N's mother, complicit in the plan to help her daughter escape, moved through the house with a calm urgency. She quietly packed Y/N's belongings, whispering words of encouragement.
"We must be quick, darling. Everything will be alright," she assured Y/N, who nodded, her heart racing with a mix of fear and anticipation.
Outside, Maya and Soobin waited anxiously, keeping a lookout for any signs of trouble. Inside, the circus performers, Jeongin, Jisung, and Lee Know, had disguised themselves as new staff members, blending seamlessly with the household's daily operations. Their presence, unknown to Y/N's father, was crucial for the plan's success. Y/N's father, absorbed in his work, remained oblivious to the unfolding escape. Y/N's mother took this opportunity to engage him, drawing his attention away from the rest of the house.
"Darling, could you review these documents for me? I need your expertise," she said, her voice steady despite the turmoil within.
As Y/N made her way through the house, her heart skipped a beat when she spotted Hyunjin. The weeks of separation had been a dull ache in her heart, and now, seeing him, the floodgates opened. She ran to him, her emotions overwhelming her.
"Hyunjin!" she cried out, throwing her arms around him.
Hyunjin held her tightly, a mix of joy and urgency in his voice. "I've missed you so much, Y/N. But we need to move quickly," he said, glancing around for any signs of discovery.
Their reunion was cut short by the realization that Y/N's father had discovered the deception. His voice, thunderous and filled with anger, echoed through the house. "Y/N! What is the meaning of this? Return here at once!"
Y/N clung to Hyunjin, her resolve hardening. "No, Father. I'm leaving. With Hyunjin," she declared, her voice steady despite the shaking of her hands.
Her mother, hearing the commotion, rushed to intervene, placing herself between her husband and the escaping group. "Please, understand. Y/N deserves to choose her own path, her own happiness," she pleaded, her eyes filled with tears.
Y/N's father, faced with his wife's opposition, grew even more incensed. "This is madness! You're both blinded by this... this fantasy! She belongs here, with her family, not with some street performers!"
Y/N, taking a deep breath, stepped forward, her mother's presence giving her strength. "No, Father. For once, listen. I love Hyunjin, and the circus is where I found my true self. I won't live a life chosen by anyone else. This is my choice, my future."
The confrontation reached its peak, with Y/N's father unable to breach the united front of his wife and daughter. His voice, though loud and commanding, was powerless against Y/N's determined stance.
Outside, Maya and Soobin heard the commotion and prepared to intervene, but it was clear that Y/N had taken control of her destiny. With one last look at her father, Y/N turned, her hand in Hyunjin's, and together with the others, they made their escape. The household staff, who had silently supported Y/N's choice, watched as the group disappeared into the early morning light. Their silent prayers followed the young woman who dared to choose love over duty.
As the car drove away, Y/N looked back at the only home she had ever known, now a symbol of her past. Ahead lay the uncertain road to freedom and the promise of a future with Hyunjin by her side.
Her mother's last words echoed in her heart, "Be brave, my love. Be happy."
The journey to the safe house was tense, with every passing moment filled with the fear of pursuit. But as the miles widened between Y/N and her former life, a sense of relief began to settle in. Hyunjin, his arm around her shoulders, offered silent support, his presence a constant reassurance. Upon their arrival at the secluded safe house, Y/N felt a weight lift from her shoulders. The danger was not over, but for the first time in a long while, she dared to hope for a future where her choices defined her life.
Inside, the group gathered, a makeshift family brought together by a shared goal. "We did it," Hyunjin whispered, his eyes meeting Y/N's. "Together."
Y/N, her gaze steady, nodded. "Together," she echoed, her voice a testament to the journey ahead. "No matter what comes next, we face it together."
The dust of turmoil settled into a quiet calm as Y/N began a new chapter of her life under the protective wing of Maya and the Choi family. Their home became her sanctuary, a place where laughter and warmth replaced the shadows of her past. The Choi family, wielding their considerable influence and resources, erected an impenetrable barrier against Y/N's father, ensuring that neither he nor his old-world dictates could reach her again. Hyunjin, though physically apart, remained a steadfast presence in Y/N's life. His tent in The Circus, now not just a home but a symbol of resilience, beckoned her with the promise of visits filled with joy and the magic of the circus life they both cherished. In the background, a battle of a different kind was being fought — one that would liberate not just Y/N but her mother as well. The Choi family, acting as silent guardians, facilitated the severance of ties that had long bound Y/N's mother to a life of silent acquiescence. The divorce proceedings, though steeped in legality, were underscored by a fight for dignity and self-determination. The day the divorce was finalized felt like a collective exhale. Y/N, her mother, Maya, Soobin, and his parents gathered in the Choi's expansive living room, a space that had become a courtroom of sorts. Y/N's father, a man who had wielded control like a weapon, now appeared diminished, the reality of his situation settling in as he looked over the divorce papers.
"Is this what you want?" he asked Y/N's mother, his voice devoid of its usual command.
"Yes," she replied, her voice steady, her hands unshaking as she met his gaze. "It's time we both found freedom from this prison we've called a marriage."
Y/N watched as her mother spoke her truth, a swell of pride and admiration blooming within her. The room was thick with tension as Y/N's father looked from the papers to Soobin's parents, searching for an ally but finding none.
Soobin's father, a man of few words but immense presence, finally spoke. "It's done. Sign the papers. It's time everyone moved forward."
With a resigned sigh, Y/N's father signed the documents, each stroke of his pen severing the chains that had bound Y/N and her mother to a life of suffocation and despair.
As the pen was set down, a palpable sense of relief washed over the room. Y/N's mother, tears glistening in her eyes, reached for Y/N, embracing her tightly. "We're free, my love. Truly free," she whispered, her voice a mix of joy and liberation.
Y/N, her own eyes moist with tears, nodded. "Together, Mom. We have a whole new life ahead of us."
The group gathered closer, a circle of support and shared triumph. Maya, always the voice of optimism, chimed in, "This is just the beginning. There's so much more to come, so many more adventures to have."
Hyunjin, joining them later that day, brought with him the air of the circus — a reminder of the life that awaited them. "We're going to make so many more memories," he promised, taking Y/N's hand in his.
Y/N's mother, looking around at the faces of those who had become her family by choice, felt a surge of gratitude. "Thank you," she said, addressing everyone. "For fighting not just for Y/N, but for me too. For giving us both the chance to live our lives on our own terms."
The Choi family, Maya, Soobin, and especially Hyunjin, had become her champions, her protectors, and her friends. In their company, Y/N and her mother found not just safety but a sense of belonging.
As the evening wore on, filled with plans for the future and stories of the past, Y/N realized that this was more than just an ending. It was a beginning — a chance to redefine herself away from the shadows of expectation and into the light of self-discovery. The golden hues of dusk melted into the twilight, Y/N, Maya, Y/N's mother, and the Choi family approached the grand tent of The Circus, a beacon of joy and wonder that had become a second home to them over the years. The anticipation in the air was palpable, each step carrying them closer to an evening filled with magic and spectacle. Bang Chan, ever the charismatic leader, stood by the entrance, his presence as inviting as the warm glow emanating from within the tent. His eyes lit up at the sight of the approaching group, his arms spread wide in a gesture of welcome.
"Ah, the stars of the evening have arrived!" he exclaimed, his voice booming with genuine warmth. "I hope you're all ready for a show unlike any other!"
As they neared, Bang Chan's gaze softened upon Y/N, noticing the grace with which she navigated her surroundings, a radiant smile playing on her lips. The sight of her, more luminous than ever with her burgeoning baby bump, filled him with a sense of pride.
"Look at you, Y/N! Glowing and absolutely flying through life!" he chuckled, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "Let's get you seated comfortably, shall we?"
Inside, the tent was alive with an electric buzz, the air thick with the scent of popcorn and the melodious strains of music that promised an unforgettable night. The group made their way to the front row, the seats reserved for them offering an unobstructed view of the spectacle about to unfold. The show was a masterpiece of light, sound, and skill, each act surpassing the last in thrill and wonder. Acrobats soared through the air with the grace of birds in flight, jugglers wove patterns of light with their flaming torches, and clowns brought laughter and lightness, reminding every one of the joy in simplicity. As the final act drew to a close and the audience began to disperse, carrying with them the magic of the evening, the main performers of The Circus emerged from behind the curtains, their faces alight with the joy of having shared their world.
Hyunjin was the first to reach Y/N, his eyes shining with an emotion so profound it seemed to light up the space around them. He knelt before her, his hands gently caressing her baby bump, a silent conversation of love and anticipation passing between them.
Leaning forward, he planted a tender kiss on her forehead, whispering, "You're amazing, you know that? I can't wait to meet our little miracle."
Y/N, her eyes misting over with emotion, smiled, her hand coming to rest atop his. "Every day with you is a miracle, Hyunjin. I can't believe how far we've come."
"Did we manage to surprise you this time?" he asked with a cheeky grin.
"You always do," Y/N replied, her laughter mingling with his. "Though I'm starting to think the baby's going to be a circus performer the way it's kicking right now."
Felix, not to be outdone in the enthusiasm department, swept Maya into a celebratory embrace, his energy boundless. "Did you see that triple flip? I did that just for you," he boasted, setting her down with a flourish.
Maya rolled her eyes, her smile betraying her amusement. "Show-off. I'm more impressed you didn't land on your face this time."
The banter continued, light and full of warmth, as they recounted the night's highlights and shared laughs over the mishaps that only they could see. It was a gathering of individuals who had become family, not by blood but by bonds forged in the fires of adversity and triumph. The tent, now empty save for their group, felt like a world apart, a secret place where the trials of the past dissolved into the hope of the future. As they gathered in a circle, sharing stories and laughter, the sense of family and belonging was overwhelming.
Y/N's mother, looking around at the faces of those who had become her chosen family, felt a surge of gratitude. "I never imagined life could be this beautiful," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "To see my daughter so happy, so in love, about to start her own family... it's more than I ever dared hope for."
Bang Chan, observing the scene, felt a deep sense of fulfillment. "This is what it's all about," he mused aloud. "Creating a space where everyone can find happiness, where love and magic thrive. Y/N, your journey, your courage... it's inspired us all."
As the evening drew to a close, the group made their way out of the tent, the stars overhead shining brightly, as if in celebration of the love and life that flourished beneath them. The Circus, with its wonders and joys, stood as a testament to the power of resilience, love, and the magic that exists when hearts are open and dreams are pursued with courage.
Walking hand in hand, Y/N and Hyunjin paused, looking back at the tent that symbolized so much more than just entertainment. It was a reminder of their journey, of battles fought and won, and of the beauty that awaits when darkness is overcome with light.
"Here's to new beginnings," Hyunjin said, his voice filled with hope.
"And to a future filled with love, laughter, and magic," Y/N added, her heart full.
And with that, they stepped out into the night, the stars overhead shining down on them like spotlights, illuminating the path forward. The circus behind them was more than a place of entertainment; it was a reminder of resilience, of laughter in the face of darkness, and of the unwavering belief that, no matter what, the show must go on. Together, they walked into the future, a future where fear had no hold, where love bound them tighter than any performance could, and where happiness was not just an act in a circus but the reality they lived every day.
.
#stray kids#skz#stray kids x you#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#hyunjin stray kids#stray kids hyunjin#hyunjin skz#skz hyunjin#skz x female reader#skz x y/n#skz x you#skz x reader#stray kids x female reader#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin x you#hyunjin smut#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin#smut#hyunjin fluff
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sirius and ginny: a meta (part 1)
“Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!” said Ginny, her jaw set so that her resemblance to Fred and George was suddenly striking.’
are you a very brave, very reckless, very hot self-destructive rebel with a treacherous sibling and a flair for christmas decoration, harbouring complex feelings about your mother, close ties to crookshanks the cat and spend your days plagued by the memory of your worst mistakes and dark past? do you find yourself constantly being begged to stay in a state of protective confinement to save your life by a young man with a lightning scar, bad hair and crippling abandonment issues? if so, congratulations! you might be one of harry potter's chosen family members, sirius black and ginevra molly weasley!
basically - i want to talk about sirius and ginny. these are two characters who don’t share a lot of scenes in canon but who, i think, have some clear (if overlooked) parallels: stubborn, fiercely protective of harry, self-sacrificing, admired, principled, haunted (in different ways) by traumatic pasts and betrayals, with complicated relationships with their families and entirely uncomplicated devoted relationships with someone else’s cat. their narrative arcs are successive, with ginny ascending in significance in the series during sirius’ period of decline and ultimate death. and ultimately, they’re also the two people who become, over the course of the canon series, family to a protagonist desperately seeking to build one. sirius and ginny are the two people harry in canon most worries about, wants to protect, and thinks of as someone who embodies the promise of family and home.
sirius and ginny aren’t mirror images of each other. ofc, ginny also has parallels with the only other family members harry claims in the series, lily and james (i mean, especially james - she’s literally a cocky funny flirtatious chaser with a years-long debilitating mega crush who can also catch a snitch like a champ. come on now). it’s also clear in canon that sirius means more to ginny as a hero/role model/ally against her mother than ginny ever means to sirius. nevertheless, the text puts in work to let the reader know we should think about these characters together as somehow aligned. from the beginning of ootp, there are clues and signals in the text that foreshadow ginny’s emergence as someone important to harry, and that subtly let the reader know that the baton of being harry’s ‘person’ is about to be passed from sirius to ginny, two kindred spirits, after sirius’ death. so that's what this meta is about! (consider this my 700th attempt to show that, as the popular fandom complaint/all of reddit still insist, ginny as a character, and especially the harry/ginny romance, did not ‘come out of nowhere’.)
the following meta is part one of two (and yet it's still too long! sorry about it). o in this part, i look at the period from the end of goblet of fire thru the start of half blood prince, exploring how the text sets up the sirius and ginny parallels as a way of foreshadowing ginny’s emergence as harry’s main love interest and place as a family substitute. the second part (tbc) will be what the memory of sirius does for harry’s view of his relationship with ginny, and the kind of positive - and negative - ways this shapes harry’s ideas about love and what family do for each other. i wrote this meta as a way of thinking through some characterisation choices for my current WIP, beasts. if you're following along with that fic, this meta can be seen as a companion piece especially to my thinking behind chapters ten and eleven, so hope proves helpful for some of my thinking behind the sirius and ginny friendship that appears in that project. it's also dedicated to @ashesandhackles, queen of metas, who has reminded me to post this meta precisely 9 million times because she is a long-suffering saint.
ok - sirius and ginny. let’s goooooo!
sirius and ginny before ootp
before OotP, ginny is absent from any plot connected to sirius. ginny doesn’t know the truth about sirius’ innocence, nor does she know that harry, her brother and her friend are in regular contact with sirius and that harry now as a surrogate father/big brother figure to confide in and seek comfort in. in fact, in one of ginny’s few appearances in GoF, the narration is unusually insistent that the reader knows how little ginny knows about sirius:
“And have you heard from — ?” Ron began, but at a look from Hermione he fell silent. Harry knew Ron had been about to ask about Sirius. Ron and Hermione had been so deeply involved in helping Sirius escape from the Ministry of Magic that they were almost as concerned about Harry’s godfather as he was. However, discussing him in front of Ginny was a bad idea. Nobody but themselves and Professor Dumbledore knew about how Sirius had escaped, or believed in his innocence.
“I think they’ve stopped arguing,” said Hermione, to cover the awkward moment, because Ginny was looking curiously from Ron to Harry. “Shall we go down and help your mum with dinner?”
the only other tiny crumb of sirius and ginny we get is the news that the owl sirius bought in PoA and gifted to ron as a replacement pet for scabbers has been embraced and named by ginny. sirius gifting a tiny little spitfire of an owl that annoys ron? it's giving foreshadowing, your honour.
the reader, though, knows who sirius is to harry by GoF. throughout this book, for the first time in the series, harry has a person he can claim as something like a family: someone to worry about, someone who cares about him,who can advise, guide and mentor him, as well as offer him support and consolation in difficult times (‘someone like a parent…’) although sirius has not been able to offer harry a stable alternative home to the dursleys due to his status as a wanted man, he’s still filling a role that previously had been vacant in the series: he’s harry’s person, the surrogate parent chosen for him by james and lily. he’s close by, either by the floo or eventually living (at great personal cost) as padfoot in hogsmeade, and he’s present emotionally for harry in ways that prove incredibly meaningful to his young godson. in times of great of distress, sirius is there for harry to meet emotional needs that ron and hermione (understandably, no shade to them) can’t always meet. the floo scene early on in GoF, during harry’s row with ron, is a particularly good example of this:
“Never mind me, how are you?” said Sirius seriously. “I’m —”
For a second, Harry tried to say “fine” — but he couldn’t do it.
…Before he could stop himself, he was talking more than he’d talked in days — about how no one believed he hadn’t entered the tournament of his own free will, how Rita Skeeter had lied about him in the Daily Prophet, how he couldn’t walk down a corridor without being sneered at — and about Ron, Ron not believing him, Ron’s jealousy . . . Sirius looked at him, eyes full of concern… He had let Harry talk himself into silence without interruption’.
harry derives enormous comfort from sirius’ presence in his life during GoF. he writes to sirius, he repeatedly turns to him for advice, he worries for him more than he does any other person. sirius fulfils harry’s desire to be kept abreast of important information about voldemort and death eaters, doesn’t sugarcoat news for harry, and makes him feel important, cared for and understood. (harry even shows off to sirius telling him about how much of a slay the first task was. ugh). by the time of the third task, sirius is sending harry daily owls, a constant flow of reassurance and concern (‘He reminded Harry in every letter that whatever might be going on outside the walls of Hogwarts was not Harry’s responsibility, nor was it within his power to influence it. If Voldemort is really getting stronger again, he wrote, my priority is to ensure your safety.’) when harry returns from the graveyard at the novel’s end, it’s sirius who races to his side to advocate for him and offer him both words of comfort and physical affection as he processes the traumatic series of events that constitute the climax of the book’s plot. (my personal favourite part is where harry says ‘wormtail cut me with a knife’ and the text says sirius made a ‘vehement exclamation’, which i can only assume is children’s book speak for ‘fucking hell’.) harry goes to bed: sirius stays with him, a literal guard dog as he recuperates. after the most traumatic events of the series to date, the reader is at least consoled that harry potter has a person now, someone he loves for him to worry about and to worry for him, who catches him on the other side of traumatic events and makes them that bit much more bearable.
sirius and ginny during ootp
with sirius' role in harry's life established in GoF, OotP begins with harry, cooped up and restless at privet drive, angry with ron, hermione, sirius, and dumbledore for abandoning him at privet drive and keeping him in the dark. harry arrives at grimmauld place to find an anxious ron and hermione, with whom harry is angry and frustrated for having left him out of their summer hangs and having neglected him, by his assessment, in surrey. it’s the most conflict we’ve seen in the trio in terms of harry vs ron and hermione, and sets up one of the important themes of the book, which is harry no longer being solely emotionally fulfilled by the people he is closest to, including his two surrogate parents best mates but also his godfather. when he encounters sirius for the first time after the order meeting, he finds him surly, bitter, and depressed, furious that he is confined to his childhood home, and (understandably) much less able or willing to offer harry much in the way of comfort, apology or cheering words (‘Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius’s voice sounded.’) in this sense, the book opens with harry disappointed and/or more distant from all the people on whom he most depends and is usually closest to, and that there therefore is already an absence of a certain kind of emotional support in harry’s life that the plot demands be filled.
fresh off the back of harry’s row with ron and hermione is ginny’s reintroduction to the reader. after years of being so shy in harry’s presence she was often nearly mute, the reader finds that ginny is not only now speaking, but that her presence turns out to be remarkably refreshing. from her opening scene where ginny enters harry’s bedroom at grimmauld place, the reader discovers the new ginny is confident, up to no good, in cahoots with her most troublemaking brothers trying to intercept the order meeting, enterprising in her mischief (and very happy to lie to her mother’s face about it). she’s thoroughly unfazed by harry’s great display of rage that has just startled and upset ron and hermione. (side note: in both ootp and hbp, ginny’s opening scene is her entering harry’s bedroom, which is the kind of foreshadowing i personally find delicious). everyone else is behaving pretty much as they have been up to this point, but it’s ginny who is showcasing behaviours new to the reader, a signal that she might be about to play a different role in the series than she has done up to this point.
cut to the dinner scene. sirius and ginny are in the room together for the first time. sirius is moody: though he’s still able to laugh, enjoying displays of mischief and humour (the twins and the knife), he’s more bitter than harry and the reader have seen him since PoA. it’s an important scene for lots of reasons (not least the sirius v molly beef), but it’s also one where sirius and ginny are repeatedly drawn into mental association in the reader’s mind. it’s also a great scene because the behaviour of crookshanks the cat literally serves to foreshadow the behaviour of harry james potter in ways that are frankly extremely fun.
so! the sirius and ginny hints start small. from the start of the scene, ginny is amused by mundungus the crook (a man, we will learn, so disdained by her mother):
“Some’n say m’ name?” Mundungus mumbled sleepily. “I ’gree with Sirius. . . .” He raised a very grubby hand in the air as though voting, his droopy, bloodshot eyes unfocused. Ginny giggled.
“The meeting’s over, Dung,” said Sirius, as they all sat down around him at the table. “Harry’s arrived.”
sirius and harry, sat at the end of the table, are both greeted by crookshanks, sirius’ old accomplice from PoA:
'Harry felt something brush against his knees and started, but it was only Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped onto Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absentmindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry…
when fred and george’s levitation goes awry, flinging a knife at sirius (now that’s how you foreshadow a death), crookshanks bolts:
‘Harry and Sirius were both laughing… Crookshanks had given an angry hiss and shot off under the dresser, from whence his large yellow eyes glowed in the darkness…’
during the meal, ginny’s with hermione, having a laugh with tonks, a character harry has just met but whom he has already decided to both admire and like. after the meal, when harry’s cheered up a bit and had his crumble (the man loves dessert), crookshanks finally emerges from his hiding place, having been coaxed out from his sulk by - you guessed it - one g. m. weasley:
‘…Ginny, who had lured Crookshanks out from under the dresser, was sitting cross-legged on the floor, rolling butterbeer corks for him to chase.’
a grouchy character, initially drawn to sirius, but prone to lashing out and locking himself away, only to be lured back out into comfort and safety by ginny weasley? wow………. radical
after dinner, the argument between sirius and molly kicks off. sirius is arguing hard for harry’s right to know, though he makes no attempt to advocate for any of the other weasleys or for hermione. ginny’s noticeably singled out in her reaction to this scene, the text highlighting that she is particularly struck by this conflict as if it is of particular personal resonance, including someone standing up to her famously overprotective mother for once:
‘Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George’s heads turned from Sirius to Mrs. Weasley as though following a tennis rally. Ginny was kneeling amid a pile of abandoned butterbeer corks, watching the conversation with her mouth slightly open. Lupin’s eyes were fixed on Sirius.’
of course, molly loses the argument: harry gets to stay for juicy order deets (‘Sirius was right, he was not a child.’) after the row, ginny is the only person forbidden from hearing information about the order’s activities. suddenly, the roles are switched: it’s ginny who’s now furious and bitter to be kept out of the action:
‘“Fine!” shouted Mrs. Weasley. “Fine! Ginny — BED!”
Ginny did not go quietly. They could hear her raging and storming at her mother all the way up the stairs, and when she reached the hall Mrs. Black’s earsplitting shrieks were added to the din. Lupin hurried off to the portrait to restore calm. It was only after he had returned, closing the kitchen door behind him and taking his seat at the table again, that Sirius spoke. “Okay, Harry . . . what do you want to know?”’
it’s not just the parallels of confinement between harry, sirius and ginny that are so revealing, it’s also the dual maternal conflicts. ginny loud raging at her own mother sets off the howling relic of sirius’, serving to underline two characters who continue to grapple with maternal relationships that are complex and full of conflict, though by no means solely negative (sirius i see you sleeping in your mother’s bedroom babe. don’t think i think your relationship with walburga is just one of straight hate ok). when ginny later gets knocked down the stairs by fred and george, there’s more direct mrs weasley/walburga parallels, with the two of them literally shouting over each other during the ordeal lol. as such, the readers see that the conflicts being set up for sirius’ character in this book - frustration at confinement, conflict with a mother figure, drawn to more reckless and arguably irresponsible characters (mundungus, the twins) and courses of action - are also conflicts subtly playing out with the new ginny we’re meeting, too.
as the rest of the summer at grimmauld wears on, there are more examples of sirius and ginny foreshadowing. the scenes where the two characters interact serve to place ginny and sirius firmly in the same camp of people harry admires and has fun with, the troublemakers and the rebels. over the prefects issue, ginny not only is sat chatting with the troublemaking adults harry likes most, but actively draws sirius into conversation on the issue, likely knowing the answer will comfort harry, but also showing a curiosity and interest in sirius that suggests she admires him:
“I was never a prefect myself,” said Tonks brightly from behind Harry as everybody moved toward the table to help themselves to food. Her hair was tomato-red and waist length today; she looked like Ginny’s older sister. “My Head of House said I lacked certain necessary qualities.”
“Like what?” said Ginny, who was choosing a baked potato.
“Like the ability to behave myself,” said Tonks. Ginny laughed; Hermione looked as though she did not know whether to smile or not and compromised by taking an extra large gulp of butterbeer and choking on it.
“What about you, Sirius?” Ginny asked, thumping Hermione on the back. Sirius, who was right beside Harry, let out his usual barklike laugh…’
ginny’s choice to try and draw sirius into the conversation bears fruit: sirius confirms james was never a prefect, and harry’s sour mood is suddenly lifted. (‘All at once the party seemed much more enjoyable; he loaded up his plate, feeling unusually fond of everyone in the room.’) ginny is thus beginning to provide harry with subtle comfort and reassurance, especially as sirius, struggling with his own confinement, is taking a less active role in trying to cheer harry up. what i also like is that we have evidence of how ginny views sirius - she’s curious about him and his past, she clearly thinks he and the other new rebellious adults are cool as shit, and she’s drawn increasingly away from her mother’s cautious overprotective approach towards these resistance fighters who prioritise the fight over safety. (it is noticeable to me that ginny does not become a prefect in HBP, suggesting sirius' example proved instructive).
we see more small parallels between sirius and ginny during the cleaning scenes. the battle against grimmauld place is an important symbol of one of the important themes of OotP as a book: a battle over past traumas and their persistent and unwieldy symptoms that are seemingly never-ending. while it’s harry’s experiences that, of course, take centre stage, sirius’, too, loom omnipresent throughout the text. it’s significant, then, that ginny’s own past gets brought up for the first time in three books here, albeit briefly:
'They found an unpleasant-looking silver instrument, something like a many-legged pair of tweezers, which scuttled up Harry’s arm like a spider when he picked it up, and attempted to puncture his skin; Sirius seized it and smashed it with a heavy book entitled Nature’s Nobility: A Wizarding Genealogy. There was a musical box that emitted a faintly sinister, tinkling tune when wound, and they all found themselves becoming curiously weak and sleepy until Ginny had the sense to slam the lid shut…'
in this moment, we see sirius and ginny singled in the larger group as quick-thinking, shrewd characters, with a good instincts and common sense (if a bit of a tendency to get scrappy). their respective dark pasts are subtly alluded to. sirius whacks a spider trying to attack harry with a book that might as well be entitled my big book of family trauma. ginny, meanwhile, steps in when everybody present starts to be enchanted by a mysterious object luring them into danger by whacking it shut (gee i wonder why!) given this is the book that will see ginny mention the events of CoS for the first time in errrrr three years, it’s significant that the text is careful to draw ginny into this broader theme that unites sirius and harry, the constant reminders of traumatic pasts at every turn. we also see here the revelation that regulus black was a death eater. coming after news of percy weasley’s betrayal, sirius’ bitter dismissal of his younger brother deliberately mirrors ginny and the other weasleys’ attitude towards percy, this sense of pureblood families split over wizarding politics, often fatally.
while harry fears his expulsion from hogwarts prior his hearing, he continues to fantasise about coming to live with sirius at grimmauld, and about being with a family member and finding an alternative home to hogwarts. sirius, as hermione astutely observes, tries to manage harry’s expectations and not to get his own hopes up: still, when harry is exonerated, sirius is visibly depressed, showing the beginnings of an emotional dependency on harry that harry feels great guilt over.when leaving grimmauld for the start of the school year, sirius, as padfoot, accompanies harry to king’s cross: unlike in GoF, though, he is spotted, and harry begins to worry much more actively about sirius’ vulnerability to capture, about his recklessness and about his judgement. concerned for sirius, and absent ron and hermione, who are in the prefects carriage, the person who stays with harry and offers him company is ginny. she sacrifices her own train journey (presumably with her own boyfriend) to find a carriage with harry and make sure he’s not lonely, bringing him to neville and luna and sorting him out after his embarassing cho run-in. it’s not a coincidence that once again we see ginny here taking care of harry crookshanks:
'“Where’s Crookshanks?”
“Ginny’s got him,” said Harry. “There she is. . . .”
Ginny had just emerged from the crowd, clutching a squirming Crookshanks. “Thanks,” said Hermione, relieving Ginny of the cat. “Come on, let’s get a carriage together before they all fill up. . . '
once harry’s back at school, having left sirius behind to languish miserably in london, we see he's more isolated and alone than ever. he’s tormented by umbridge, endlessly (though often unfairly) frustrated with ron and hermione, ghosted by dumbledore, yet absent the more stable, reassuring sirius he came to know in GoF, unable to write candidly to him and faced with a much less well sirius in the opportunities they do have to speak face-to-face. as sirius’ mental health declines as he is shut up at grimmauld, his ability to support harry and comfort him starts to falter, and he becomes a much more uneven source of advice and support, particularly during his car crash floo appearance, where he’s much ruder than he has previously been (cutting off, ignoring their pleas for him to be more cautious, the infamous ‘the risk would have made it fun for james’ moment). this new sirius, clearly struggling, is much more happy to do up guilt trip to his godson than we have seen him to up this point (‘I’ll write to tell you a time I can make it back into the fire, then, shall I? If you can stand to risk it?’ - you petty little shit, padfoot). all of this serves to increase harry’s anxiety about sirius’ wellbeing and reinforce harry’s sense of emotional isolation. even sirius’ encouragement on the DA is, as hermione points out, partly bound up in more selfish motivations (‘I think he’s really frustrated at how little he can do where he is… so I think he’s keen to kind of… egg us on.’)
ginny’s largely absent in this section of the novel. in the brief moments she does appear, it’s to inject humour (eg. her impressions at the DA meeting) and in little reminders that she now has a boyfriend, no longer harbours romantic feelings for harry, making sure the reader continues to hold her mentally apart from harry. harry, meanwhile, misguidedly tries to seek out a relationship with cho chang, who is showing clear signs of her own emotional distress and inability to meet harry’s emotional needs given her own grief. still, among this, there’s still room for some small subtle sirius/ginny parallels. once the DA plot picks up, we have another little sign that ginny weasley and sirius black think somewhat alike:
“Yeah, the D.A.’s good,” said Ginny. “Only let’s make it stand for Dumbledore’s Army because that’s the Ministry’s worst fear, isn’t it?”
“Trained in combat?” repeated Harry incredulously. “What does he think we’re doing here, forming some sort of wizard army?
“That’s exactly what he thinks you’re doing,” said Sirius, “or rather, that’s exactly what he’s afraid Dumbledore’s doing — forming his own private army, with which he will be able to take on the Ministry of Magic.”
with harry's isolation and need for more emotional support established in this first term, christmas at grimmauld offers more opportunity to subtly develop the sirius and ginny parallels, as well as to highlight ginny’s ability to fill the gaps left by sirius’ decline. after the attack on arthur weasley, the group arrive back at grimmauld:
‘Sirius was hurrying toward them all, looking anxious. He was unshaven and still in his day clothes; there was also a slightly Mundungus-like whiff of stale drink about him. “What’s going on?” he said, stretching out a hand to help Ginny up. “Phineas Nigellus said Arthur’s been badly injured —”
could this be sirius literally lifting ginny up into plot significance? why yes it could
ofc the weasleys then argue with sirius about their right to go see their father. despite his own frustrations at being trapped at grimmauld, sirius proves the voice of reason and rational decision making against both ginny and the twins’ hotheadedness (ginny asks to borrow cloaks to go to the hospital: sirius: ‘Hang on, you can’t go tearing off to St. Mungo’s!’) crucially, though, when sirius points out that there are bigger things at stake - the work of the order and the resistance movement - it’s ginny who listens:
“Your father knew what he was getting into, and he won’t thank you for messing things up for the Order!” said Sirius angrily in his turn. “This is how it is — this is why you’re not in the Order — you don’t understand — there are things worth dying for!”
“Easy for you to say, stuck here!” bellowed Fred. “I don’t see you risking your neck!”
The little colour remaining in Sirius’s face drained from it. He looked for a moment as though he would quite like to hit Fred, but when he spoke, it was in a voice of determined calm. “I know it’s hard, but we’ve all got to act as though we don’t know anything yet. We’ve got to stay put, at least until we hear from your mother, all right?”
Fred and George still looked mutinous. Ginny, however, took a few steps over to the nearest chair and sank into it. Harry looked at Ron, who made a funny movement somewhere between a nod and shrug, and they sat down too. The twins glared at Sirius for another minute, then took seats on either side of Ginny.
“That’s right,” said Sirius encouragingly, “come on, let’s all . . . let’s all have a drink while we’re waiting…’
there’s a lot going on here: ginny’s willingness to follow sirius’ orders, but also her willingness to accept an argument based on some idea of the greater good before any of her brothers. she and sirius are aligned here, and it’s her decision to accept sirius’ reasoning that proves the catalyst for her brothers to follow. we see here how ginny has come to see sirius: someone she looks up to and admires, an adult whose judgement she trusts and whose worldview she subscribes to. (as a character prone to hero worship - see her view of her big brother bill - i think this is noteworthy, and is behind a lot of my characterisation choices for ginny towards sirius in beasts). but we also see that ginny agrees with sirius' worldview. there are some things worth dying for, and self-sacrifice is part of that.
when harry goes to sirius for reassurance about witnessing arthur’s attack, he finds sirius unable to properly console him and convince him that he was not to blame for arthur’s attack. the reader gets the impression of sirius withholding information from harry (‘He could only see a sliver of Sirius’s face; the rest was in darkness’), and the scene ends with sirius clapping harry on the shoulder and leaving him ‘standing alone in the dark’. while sirius throws himself into christmas preparations, obviously delighted to have company, harry shrinks from the cheer and isolates himself. in the end, ofc, the only person that manages to pull harry out of his dark, brooding thoughts is ginny. the text is careful to note she’s sitting beside him on the tube back from st mungo’s, when he looks very unwell. then, in the ‘lucky you’ scene, she showcases some of the same skills harry first came to appreciate in sirius in GoF. she tells it to him straight: she’s sympathetic, but not overly gushing, and she reminds him of her own intensely frightening experience which she endured alone, something harry can relate to, even if the experience of possession is not. it’s an important scene for lots of reasons, but it’s also, crucially, the intervention that causes harry’s mood to lift, and he gets to enjoy a christmas with his godfather, the thing he had most wanted in the run-up to christmas, and which becomes the only holiday period harry and sirius ever spend together:
‘I’m not the weapon after all, thought Harry. His heart swelled with happiness and relief, and he felt like joining in as they heard Sirius tramping past their door toward Buckbeak’s room, singing “God Rest Ye Merry, Hippogriffs” at the top of his voice.’
of course, once christmas is over, sirius slips back into a depressed, gloomy state. harry wants a better goodbye than he gives him, merely giving him a quick one armed hug (there’s a real theme throughout harry and sirius’ relationship of very sparing physical contact on sirius’ part, which is obviously a hole in harry's life ginny will fill in - er - a big way). back at school, harry returns to umbridge’s increasingly draconian rule, maks a disastrous attempt at forging a relationship with cho, and continues to feel lonely, paranoid, and angry. unable to speak to sirius properly via letter or floo - and unwilling to open the present sirius has given him to communicate directly with him, the two-way mirror - harry is increasingly sullen, a mood that only worsens after seeing snape's worst memory.
the easter egg scene is obviously important for hinny for lots of different reasons. but here i just want to highlight how the scene serves to show ginny as both the conduit to sirius for harry, and someone whose behaviour echoes that of sirius in GoF when harry first began to open up to and seek comfort in him. harry is distressed by his now complicated feelings both towards the father he previously revered and towards sirius, who seemed to encourage james’ bullying behaviour. ginny hands harry a chocolate easter egg covered in snitches: chocolate, a canonical source of comfort against dark thoughts, and an egg that reminds him of the love of parent. the act makes him suddenly emotional, though he at first denies he’s upset. ginny presses carefully and sensitively, asking the right questions to get him to confess the source of his worry, waiting for harry to take his time to speak - all behaviours that echo sirius’ own effective listening techniques. ginny’s acquaintance with sirius, and knowledge of how significant he is to harry, is important here, too, and a subtle sign to the reader that he trusts ginny with knowledge about sirius after a long time of having her in the dark about his godfather. the reader leaves the scene having seen ginny breakthrough to harry emotionally in a way for the second time in the novel, in a way no other character has done (‘he felt a bit more hopeful…’)
of course, the course of action ginny has set in motion is itself risky and reckless (‘anything is possible if you’ve got enough nerve’ is very marauders as a philosophy). the decision to go ahead with the plan the twins come up with is one harry sees as a decision on whether to be more like james and sirius - a risk taker - or to abandon the hero worship for the marauders he has lived with for so long. in the end, of course, it’s a win for the reckless troublemakers: he chooses to go ahead with the plan the twins have crafted and that ginny has set in motion, and to speak to sirius.
and yet. sirius is still alive - there is not need for ginny yet. for the remainder of the book, ginny has to beg to be included in the trio's plans and to be allowed to be a part of the plot to rescue sirius. she’s is often in conflict with harry, showing a lot of sirius’ bitterness at attempts at containment and to keep her out of the fighting. she grates against harry’s insistence that she is too young and inexperienced, and having to remind the trio that she, too, has come to care about sirius and wants to see him safe:
“I’ve got a broom!” said Ginny.
“Yeah, but you’re not coming,” said Ron angrily.
“Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!” said Ginny, her jaw set so that her resemblance to Fred and George was suddenly striking.
of course, it all ends in tragedy: sirius, desperate to go to harry’s aid and absolutely gunning for a fight after months of confinement, is killed, leaving harry alone. there a subtle clues that something has shifted in ginny’s relationship to harry and the trio in the scenes after sirius’ death, including ginny positioned as the mirror image to harry in the hospital:
‘Harry was sitting on the end of Ron’s bed and they were both listening to Hermione read the front page of the Sunday Prophet. Ginny, whose ankle had been mended in a trice by Madam Pomfrey, was curled up at the foot of Hermione’s bed…’
despite this, in the immediate aftermath of sirius’ death, harry is extremely alone. he is unable to work out what he needs (‘Whenever he was in company he wanted to get away, and whenever he was alone he wanted company.’) he tries to go to hagrid’s, but regrets it (‘He was starting to wish he was alone again’), leaving after hagrid reminds him of sirius’ core traits, an inability to stay out of the fight when he believes in the cause:
“But still, Harry . . . he was never one ter sit around at home an’ let other people do the fightin’. He couldn’ have lived with himself if he hadn’ gone ter help —”
unlike at the end of GoF, harry is isolated by his grief and the revelation of the prophecy's contents by the end of this book. he goes alone to a secluded corner of the lakeshore, ‘sheltered from the gaze of passersby behind a tangle of shrubs’, and ‘[stares] out over the gleaming water’, and cries alone. there is no sirius or other person to catch him and console him in his grief. his person has died, and there’s a gap in his life again, just waiting to be filled:
‘Wanting to impress Cho seemed to belong to a past that was no longer quite connected with him. So much of what he had wanted before Sirius’s death felt that way these days. . . . The week that had elapsed since he had last seen Sirius seemed to have lasted much, much longer: It stretched across two universes, the one with Sirius in it, and the one without.’
ginny and sirius parallels in HBP and DH
after sirius’ death, the parallels between sirius and ginny become more important as ginny moves into the centre frame as a character. at the start of HBP, harry arrives at the burrow and discusses his grief over sirius’ death with dumbledore in the burrow broom shed, acknowledging how profoundly the loss of a family member who cares singularly about him is affecting him. ('He felt stupid for admitting it, but the fact that he had had someone outside Hogwarts who cared what happened to him, almost like a parent, had been one of the best things about discovering his godfather . . . and now the post owls would never bring him that comfort again. . . .' beasts readers: there's a reason harry clings to letters!) of course, having reminded the reader of the gap in harry’s life that now needs to be filled, harry goes to sleep, the active reflection on his grief for sirius put to one side so the novel's plot can get underway. he'll go to bed mourning sirius and wake up in a sunlit bedroom. of course, ginny will walk into this bedroom too, only now things will be different: harry potter is back to the search for a loved one, for a family, and he's about to realise ginny is the one he wants to fill it. thus the start of the plot of ginny stepping into the role vacated by sirius beginneth.
so much of who ginny is in HBP is reminiscent of sirius. she frequently leaps into battle as harry’s protector (‘You’re taking orders from something someone wrote in a book?’, ‘Give it a rest, Hermione’), she’s scrappy (RIP zacharias smith), she’s funny and laughs easily in a way that less recalls sirius in the time harry knew him than sirius as harry sees him as a young man, in photographs or memories. she's the one who commits to the insane christmas decorations, determined to cheer everyone up over the festive period as sirius did the year before. she even enjoys the widespread admiration and lust of her peers, a trait that directly recalls sirius being eyed up by his peers in snape's memory. by the novel’s end, after dumbledore’s death, it will be ginny who goes to harry’s side after the climax of the plot and catch him in his grief just as sirius did in GoF, this time over dumbledore’s death:
‘He did not want to leave Dumbledore’s side, he did not want to move anywhere. Hagrid’s hand on his shoulder was trembling. Then another voice said, “Harry, come on.’
A much smaller and warmer hand had enclosed his and was pulling him upward. He obeyed its pressure without really thinking about it.’
their breakup has sirius all over it. taking place at the lakeshore, the place where harry wept alone over sirius a year prior, harry draws on the circumstances of sirius’ demise as a reason he must break up with ginny (‘Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to.’) the breakup does little to shift what ginny has become in harry’s mind, though, and he spends all of DH thinking of her as he once thought of sirius: the person whose safety he most craves, the person he misses, someone he claims as his, and whom he associates with (now banished) hopes of a home and a family:
“It’s not a problem,” said Harry, sickened by the pain in his head. “It’s your family, ’course you’re worried. I’d feel the same way.” He thought of Ginny. “I do feel the same way.”
of course, echoes of sirius will also come into play during open war. it’s now ginny, not sirius, who is the one left behind for her own protection: in the run-up to the battle, harry finds himself once again faced with the prospect of confining his loved one for their safety, despite their desperation to fight and do the right thing. but these are thoughts for part 2…….
#meta#sirius black#ginny weasley#it's not NOT an aged up sinevra ship agenda#hp meta#hp analysis#hinny#marauders#black family#beasts
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Whoo hooooo! I think you would create magic as always with this prompt: the first initial kiss being a simple peck, then they immediately go back in for a stronger, more passionate one.
Could I request it with your choice of Tup… or post-stasis Kix… or Hunter? 🫦🥹💙
A/N: Thank you for the ask @freesia-writes! I’ve been wanting to write a fic with a meteor shower for ages, and this was the perfect opportunity. I hope you enjoy!
Pairing: Hunter x Reader (GN)
Rating: T, but minors DNI as always
Wordcount: 740
Warnings and tags: fluff; sensuality; pop culture in my SW fanfic (it's more likely than you think)
Summary: You and Hunter watch a meteor shower on Pabu.
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“I’m gonna turn in,” Wrecker said. “I’ll take the kid back to the house if you two want to stay and watch the show.”
“I told her she needed to take a nap if she wanted to stay awake long enough to see the meteor shower,” Hunter laughed quietly, passing Omega’s sleeping form to his brother.
You grinned. “In her defense, if my dad had told me to take a nap when I was twelve, I definitely would have stayed awake just to spite him.”
Wrecker let out a booming laugh. “Didn’t realize you were such a rebel!”
“Ssshhhh!” you and Hunter shushed Wrecker in unison.
“Oh, right,” he whispered. “I’m headin’ out. See ya later.”
You waved goodbye at Wrecker and then flopped back down onto the blanket you’d spread on the sandy beach of Pabu, staring up at the glorious night sky. Hunter soon joined you, not quite touching you, but lying close to your side so you’d both fit on the blanket.
“You’re lucky Omega’s such a great kid,” you murmured. “I was a holy terror at her age. I couldn’t even stand myself; I don’t know how my parents survived.”
“I find that hard to believe,” he chuckled. “The proper schoolteacher of Pabu?”
“Oh, you have no idea,” you replied. “I was a teenage dirtbag.”
“Is that why all the kids love you?”
“They sense a kindred spirit under my respectable facade,” you said with a giggle.
Hunter huffed a quiet laugh, and the two of you lapsed into silence as you watched the sky. It was a dark, moonless night, and for once, the sky was entirely free of clouds—a perfect night for stargazing. You could see the entire galaxy stretched out above you, the stars shining brightly enough that they reflected as pinpricks of light on the tranquil ocean.
“Look there,” he said, pointing to a section of the sky close to the horizon. “It’s gonna be a good one.”
Sure enough, a brilliant streak of light soon shot low across the darkness, its flash bright enough to illuminate the beach faintly. As it burned out, you turned your head to stare at Hunter.
“How do you do that?” you asked softly.
“I can hear them,” he replied.
He lay on his back, his eyes fixed on the sky, and you took a moment to watch his face in the starlight. “That’s amazing.”
It was difficult to tell in the darkness, but you thought he smiled. “There’ll be another over there.”
He pointed across your body to a section of sky far to your left. He propped himself up on one elbow so he could see over you, and you turned to the sector he pointed out just in time to catch the vivid burst of light. The meteor split in two as it hit the atmosphere, putting on a dazzling show, and you could hear the distant sizzling as it burnt itself out.
“Even I could hear that one!” you exclaimed, turning to Hunter in excitement.
He was much closer to you than he had been when he was lying on his back, and you caught your breath when you realized that your faces were almost touching. Your pulse began to race, and you silently willed yourself to calm down, knowing that Hunter would be able to hear your body’s reaction to him.
Another meteor shot directly overhead, its bright light illuminating his face, and you realized he was staring at your lips. On impulse, you reached up and kissed him. It was quick and light—barely a peck—and by the time it was over, the beach had plunged back into darkness, leaving you uncertain about his response.
“Sorry,” you whispered. “Was that—”
He cut off your question abruptly, his lips crashing into yours in a passionate, urgent kiss. His hand dropped to your waist, rolling your body against his as his tongue grazed your lips softly, sliding into your mouth. The moment he tasted you, he let out a short, desperate sound, almost a growl, as his hand slid possessively up your back. Overhead, a spectacular meteor burst into the atmosphere, its flash so intense that you could see the illumination even though your eyes were closed. You opened them just in time to see the light trail die out.
As your lips parted from Hunter’s, you whispered, “We missed that one.”
He kissed you again, softly. “I prefer the view down here.”
#sergeant hunter#hunter tbb#sergeant hunter x reader#gn reader#sw tbb fanfic#the bad batch#bad batch#star wars#sw bad batch#hunter x reader
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"Breaking my will." — Darth Vader.
— CW: 18+, smut! Humiliation. Noncon. Free use. Mentions of possible orgy/gang bang. Brief fingering, dirty talk (1), mentions of noncon pet play. | Word count: 0.8k.
— a/n: This is technically part two of Day 6.
After the 22nd day, every hope of being rescued completely vanished from your body.
He watched you day after day being used, abused, and tortured. He stood there at the corner of the farthest cell inside the Star Destroyer, his ominous, loud breathing being the only sign of his presence. Darth Vader never spoke during these sessions or moved a muscle. Completely ignored your cries for help, your sobs, and your begging. This wasn't his decision, it was something that had to be done.
A message was required— a message to that filthy, rebel scum.
You just… happened to be collateral damage.
Day and night, the torture never ceased. Two droids were in charge of you: one who feeds you only the necessary for you to stay alive, and another one that bathes you every two days— in order to keep you clean and ready to be used again. And again. And again.
It was humiliating. Some days you could argue it was worse… than being dead.
Your throat was raw from the constant screaming and rough use. Your body was weak, trembling, probably underweight— but your morale, your spirit, your values— were entirely, and utterly shattered. Every time you saw your reflection on the metal tray where the droids served you food, the face that stared back at you wasn't a familiar one. Not anymore. Life was stolen from your eyes, no longer holding that fiery glow he hated.
The chains that kept you in the cold corn dangled softly when the doors slid open, causing you to open your eyes and move your arms to shield your tired eyes from the cold white lights of the halls. Adjusting to the uncomfortable lighting, eyes fluttering open to reveal the man— if he can even be called a man— who was responsible for all your suffering. Alone. It was odd for him to come alone. Unless he wanted more information— which by now was pretty much useless, and your exhausted, overworked brain began to invent new details that weren't exactly veracious; so, just like your intel, you were useless.
“Stand up,” he commands. You stare at him with an empty expression, not even scared at this point.
His hand twitches when he grabs your arm with a brushing strength, forcing you to stand up and pushing you against the wall. Weak human arms try to protest, weak as butterfly wings punching his armor— which is useless again. With a flick of his fingers, your arms are glued to your sides thanks to that dreadful invisible force that sends a chill down your spine.
“You'll come with me.”
The strength of your body has left you completely, otherwise, you would have shaken your head and fought back. But what's the point in fighting a battle that was doomed to be against you since the very start?
He uses you, just like everyone has done these long, painful, and horrendous twenty-two days. His thick gloved fingers curl inside of you and deep down— that twisted spot inside your head that keeps the insanity alive is beyond grateful for the contact. It’s way better than another cock.
Darth Vader is seeking that pliant, manipulative state that he can only achieve after you have reached an orgasm. Witnessing beforehand many, many times how his men use you as a sex toy, he notices that you never reached those desirable peaks of pleasure; not even once.
The normally monotone breathing bounces off the metallic walls louder than usual, more obnoxious than what you are used to. But your tired mind keeps you from pondering about it, only focusing on how good it feels to be «taken care of», even if it's all because of the wrong reasons.
“You will come with me, follow my every command. You will be nothing more than a pathetic dog kneeling next to me,” Darth Vader’s modulated voice holds a weight that accelerates the waves of pleasure that threaten to wash over you.
“You will be nothing more than an animal. I'll show those stupid, worthless rebels what will happen to them if they continue defying the law of the true Galaxy— if they continue denying the greatness of the Empire.”
And he wishes he could believe the word he is speaking.
It doesn't matter how humiliating it will be for you to be reduced to nothing more than a dog— a mindless creature that will only serve their owner.
“You will not respond to anyone else except me. You will interact with no one else unless I want you to. Prepare to be what you truly are…” His fingers and their punishing pace send you over the edge. His leather glove glistens with your arousal, and you are half thankful it's only your release— and not the mixture of at least half a dozen clones.
Perhaps belonging to him doesn't sound too bad.
If that gets you out of this free-use mess.
“Do you understand, rebel whore?”
“Yes, my Lord.”
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Episode 5 - The duel
Masterlist
Jack Dawkins x fem reader. Belle's older sister.
Once home from stealing the ambergris Jack dropped onto his bed, he knew he should grab some sleep whilst he still had night to do so but his mind was elsewhere. Lifting his hand up he looked at the back of it, the spot where you had patted him three days ago. He was sure he could still feel the softness of your fingers, as if they had burned into his flesh. There was something about you that he couldn't put his finger on. Your sister Fanny was simple, just as every Mayfair girl was supposed to be. Belle was a rebel, utterly fixed on her end goal, but you, oh you. You were utterly proper in every way, trusted by your parents entirely. In his eyes a proper lady, yet you were unwed long after it was expected for young women. Maybe it was the distinct lack of suitable men in the colony? Jack had heard Sneed talk of you a while ago, he was sure his colleague was not good enough for you.
Jack sat up again, dropping his legs over the side of the bed. He needed to get these thoughts out of his head. There was no way he could ever be anything but a friend to you. Still, perhaps you were already too far engrained into his mind, and somewhere else. He tried to convince himself he only had a professional interest in your condition.
*_*_*_*
"You've been moping ever since Dr. Dawkins ruined our dinner. Come on. Up!" Fanny grumbled at her sister pulling the blinds up at the window and letting the sun blast through the room.
"Close them now. Immediately." Belle grumbled.
"No, there'll be none of that." She huffed. You walked into the room and sat across from Belle
"Are you feeling any better?" Fanny asked you as she perched on the edge of the sofa.
"Yes, she's completely cured. Close the curtains." Belle quipped.
"I am well, Fanny, thank you." You reply with a sweet smile.
"I have a gift to lift your spirits." Fanny turned her attention back to Belle.
"A guillotine?" You giggle.
"Better. A painting made with these very hands. It's the story of us. Our journey here, a house, a kangaroo."
"What are these?" Belle asked finally sitting up
"Tree trunks. I keep seeing these in my dreams. I'm rather drawn to them." You glance over at the painting, your lips press together to stifle the laugh.
"So, there's no story of us. Fanny, we're as much prisoners here as we were in London society." Belle said. You tap her leg with your book.
" Dr. Sneed is here for you." Your mother says, walking into the room. Fanny Jumps up instantly happy.
"No not you, for Belle."
Belle groaned.
"Sister, come on now, Rainsford is a perfectly handsome man with good intentions. I'm sure of it." You say.
"Then why didn't you marry him?" She quips back at you.
"He wishes to take her shooting." Your mother interjects.
Belle sighed and stood, "This is an endless world of bogglingly-stupid dinner parties, men boasting all night, and pretending, somehow, against all evidence, they're cleverer than us." She groans
" They are. That is why they're in positions of power." Fanny bites.
"Fine. And stay at home all day, painting hideous scenes of trees."
"Belle!" You raise your voice at her
Lady Jane rushes to Fanny's side, "I'm sure she didn't mean to say those things, Fanny. She's not well, darling." You laugh.
"Would you draw the curtains, please?" Fanny says falling back on the lounge sofa.
You shake your book and head back to your room, it was cooler in there than the parlour and you were surrounded by your most favourite things.
Walking in you feel that pinch once more in your chest. Dizziness starts to take over your brain so you rush to pull your dress and corset from your body before lying down on your bed. These episodes were coming much more frequently these days.
An hour or so passed when Belle slammed into your room, rousing you from the sleep you had taken in your armchair.
"Marriage, he has proposed marriage!" She huffed.
"Well, you could do a lot worse. He has that money coming to him, I'm sure you could convince him to stay here if you wished it." You say.
Belle sat on the edge of your bed, curling her legs below her.
"But he is just so-" she screws up her face, "he gave me nutmeg instead of a ring."
"Belle, my sweet sister, he is a man, you can rule him and get whatever you want." You remind her and she grins at you before leaving again.
You rest your head back and look out at the gardens. "Y/n sweetheart," your mother walks in moments later and you sigh.
"Yes mother."
"You have been spending time at the hospital with your sister? What do you both do there?" She asks.
"we fold bandages and read to the patient's mother. Belle is never left alone with any of the doctors, though it seems Sneed has taken note of her. She may be married in months and you'll have only one disappointment for a child." You say.
"I wish only for you to marry, so you might have the joy of running your own home."
"And now I have the privilege of marrying a man who loves me and not worrying about our stations." You say and turn away from her. With a huff she leaves you.
Alone at last you read your book as the sun reaches it's highest point and slowly drifts down again. A beam of late afternoon sun makes your room glow. You weren't sure when day turned to night but the sun had gone making way for the moon to shine in its wake.
Your attention is caught by Fanny bringing in a silver tray and placing it on your table.
"Are you feeling any better?"
"I'm not hungry, Fanny." You say not turning away from your book.
"Look, I've drawn you a picture." She shows you the painting with more porngraphic trees.
"Thank you. I will eat it cold." You offer to her. Seemingly satisfied with your answer she leaves once more. Just as the door closes you hear the creak of your balcony door opening.
"Hello." Jack said now standing in your bedroom.
" Have you completely lost all sense?" You ask standing from your chair.
Jack realises that you are in your night dress and has to stop himself from looking at you.
" Quite possibly."
"You should not be here, if you are found you'll be flogged, Please go." You keep looking to your door.
"Do you know about Strabismus surgery?" He asks.
"what? My sister would know better." You remind him.
"You don't know what it is?" He takes a step closer to you.
" It's the realignment of the eye." You announce.
" See? I knew you'd know. Would you happen to have some medical textbook that might..."
"Yes. Stay here. Actually, no. Come, I've got valuable items in here." You joke.
" You gonna eat this soup?" Jack picks up the bowl and spoon.
"No, apparently not." You laugh.
"What's that you're holding?" Jack looks at the painting.
"Apparently, a tree. This way." He gives you a knowing grin, raising one eyebrow. "Fanny needs to be married."
Jack enjoys the sound of your giggles. You show him down to our father's library happy that your parents were out for the evening. Jack follows watching you move so freely through the house. He couldn't stop himself from looking at the shape of your body as you reached up to check through the medical books.
"Ah, here we go." You flip open the book and start reading. "It was first performed in the 1830s by John Homer Dix. The surgeon needs only three instruments, a fine hook to elevate the conjunctiva, a bent probe to isolate the tendon, and scissors for opening up the conjunctiva."
"Pictures. I need pictures." Jack asks.
"Yes. Here." You turn the page and jump down to meet him att he desk, Jack slides closer to your shoulder to look at the pages.
"It is so dangerous." You whisper,
" Yeah, but you love that, don't you?" He smiles cockily. The look in his eyes catches your breath and you have to refocus your attention.
"Can you do it?"
"Yes. Maybe." You both look back at the book. Your eyes flick up to him.
"It's important for both of us that we clear the air about what transpired." You begin, "there were words between my sister and yourself, but that is not my concern."
"It is not?" He asks, face far too close to yours.
"Jack, you should know that I would be happy to read any word you may need." You hope he understands what you're trying to say.
"y/n, should it be in your voice I would listen to all the words written in the world." He whispers back to you.
" Doctor Dawkins," Belle stood in the door way, causing you both to jump back from each other, "I admit that I said things in that moment that I now regret. And I'm equally sure that you said things that now, in the cold light of day, you wish were..."
"What on earth is all the racket down there?" Fanny's voice cuts Belle off. You both step out into the hall, leaving Jack in the library.
"Are you feeling any better, sister?" Fanny asks seeing you.
"Yes, fine, much better."
"See, you eat, and you are well again. You've had eight turns this past month. I do count them." She calls down. Belle glances to you.
"I am fine, Fanny, Go to bed, sister." She turns and wanders away, "right we need to dress, Jack wait for us by the road." You order everyone.
"what is that awful smell?" You say walking into the hospital.
"Fagin." Jack replies too quickly.
"It smells like ambergris." You say.
"Like what?" He veins ignorance though in his mind he is impressed by your knowledge.
"Will you wait?" Belle stops you both. "Are you going to apologise to me or not?"
"No. What for?" He glanced between you both.
"For the way you spoke to me."
" I was hurt. And I'm sorry if I spoke to you abruptly." Jack replied. You gesture to Belle to go on to the theatre room and turn to Jack.
"I don't know how to talk to women. I've never really had to." He admits to you.
" I am similarly rarely interested in anything a man has to say. And she forgives you."
" Good. Though it isn't hers I long for." He steps closer to you. "Don't invite me to any more stupid dinner parties. Your lot will never accept me."
"Why would you want them to accept you? You have no idea how boring we all are." Your voice is barely a whisper.
"Not all of you."
You feel his breath on your face and your mind whirls with wants you had never had before. Hatty clears her throat behind him and you both follow her into the room. You stand to the side and watch Jack and your sister work, occasionally speaking the words from the medical journal when needed.
At last the navigator is placed in the ward, a bandage across his eye. You turn to Jack,
"Do you think it worked?" You ask him.
"We won't know until we remove the bandages." He sighs.
"Belle go home, I'll be along shortly." You say to your sister, she nods and leaves. You follow Jack back the operating theatre to help him clean away the equipment.
"At Government House, I heard your sister say that this was your eighth attack. What did she mean by that?" He asks, you can see in the strained raise of chest that he had been wanting to ask for some time.
"She imagines things." You try to push away the question.
"y/n?" He tries again.
"What the navigator said, did that sound true for you?" You deflect his questions. He sighs but indulgies you.
"It was the greatest day of my life when I got promoted to sublieutenant. They gave me my own bed. I'd never had my own bed before. And my own room." The two of you sat down against the wall, shoulders touching.
"Must be wonderful to be at sea. Travel the world." You look into his eyes.
" It was. It was the best and the worst of times. I saw all kinds of things I didn't even think were possible. Wild animals and festivals. In Hong Kong, I saw this giant paper dragon with fifty people under it and as they moved, this dragon appeared to dance and breathe fire. It was quite amazing." When he finished talking he looked back to you and saw your eyes had closed, your breathing evened out. He sat beside you, arms resting on his knees and just looked at you. The thought of seeing you this way each night, being this close to you, if not closer danced around his mind. The scent of your soap drifting into his nose pulled him closer to you. Knowing this would likely be the closest he would ever be with you Jack settled himself back, bending his towards yours and closing his eyes.
*_*_*_*
"Lady y/n" Sneed's voice shook you both awake, you lift your head from Jack's shoulder. "I can scarce believe my eyes. I insist you return to Government House immediately and we will discuss this later." He shouts. You laugh
"If you wish to stay in your current role, Sneed you will not speak to me again." You point at him before storming from the room.
Having returned home you sit in the parlour with Belle and your parents. Gaines is talking over city ordinance and you are purposely ignoring them.
"The most exciting news. There is to be a duel in town." Fanny shouts excitedly as she came running in.
" Don't be silly, duels are illegal." Belle replies. "Not necessarily." Your father says absentmindedly.
"I rather think it might be over moi. It does eliminate one possible suitor, but what does one wear to a duel? Black is foreshadowing, but green?" Fanny muses
" Who is involved?" You ask.
"Sneed and Dawkins." She claps her hands. You and Belle look at each other and stand, immediately running to town. Belle went after Sneed who was walking down the street whilst you ran into the hospital. You shove open the theatre door where Jack is fiddling with a sword and Fagin talks to him.
"You idiot! You absolute dunderhead!" You shout, chest rising heavily below your corset.
"At last! Someone who sees what I see." Fagin laughs.
" What were you thinking?" You ask angrily. If he wasn't so angry at Sneed and frightened about the duel he might have been impressed by you.
"I am tired of being treated like some mangy dog." Jack bites at you.
"You are not a mangy dog." You lower your voice, "And he is an idiot for treating you like one. Apologise and withdraw. Please." You hold his free hand in hopes it would drive the thought into his mind.
"And bow down to his arrogance? No. And I'm not going to kill him, I will barely scratch the pompous git. Don't worry, I spent ten years in the Navy. I am a master with the sword." His arrogance grates you.
"Good. Because it is pistols, pistols at dawn. And he is a master shot." You say getting too close to him.
"Oh."
Fagin slips from the room.
"are you a good shot?" You ask.
Jack tilts his head to one side and lifts his shoulders in a shrug. "Well, I know which way to point it."
"You had best learn, swiftly. Or please withdraw." You ask again.
"Y/n, I can't-" you don't let him finish his sentence. Instead you storm out meeting Belle by the carriage.
"Any luck?" She asks and you shake your head.
"I might have one more idea" you say.
*_*_*_*
"Cease this immediately!" Your father bellows over the morning wind. Just in time to stop the two doctors from firing their pistols. "I'm told, rather unsportingly, that this town cannot survive without its two surgeons. Lower your weapons." He eyes you and Belle pointedly. "Now, the rules are very clear. In circumstances such as these, the seconds must assume their place." He finishes. You roll your eyes.
The men argue amongst themselves with all but your father and priest trying to stop it all. Finally they decided to continue. Fagin and Smales are given the pistols. You move yourself beside Jack as they take their ten steps. Your hand gripped his as the shot is fired. Neither man is hurt and you feel your breath come back to you. A voice cries out and you all realised Sneed had been hit in the leg.
He is rushed to the hospital and placed on the operating table. The morning crowd had already gathered in the stands and the Prof had downed his apron.
"What we have here, is a man injured in his quest for honour. He is also my Head Surgeon and will replace me in the future," he Sighs, "For this reason, it requires the steadiest of hands, as I attempt the very dangerous procedure of amputating his leg, a foot above the knee. Now, if you'll just bite down on this." A roll of leather is placed in Sneed's mouth but he spits it out, grabbing Jack's arm.
"Help me."
"Half an hour ago, you wanted to kill me. This does beg the question, "What would you do in my position?" Jack raised his eyebrows.
"I will give you your job back. I guarantee it. Just please, don't let him amputate." He begged. Jack looked back at Belle who discreetly poured the either onto a cloth.
"Yes. Here, Prof, let me wipe your brow." She starts dabbing at his face before pressing the cloth to the Prof's nose and mouth. He keeps over.
" Apologies, gentlemen, there will be no show today. As you can see, the professor is overcome with emotion." Jack explains to the men.
"Later today, we'll be amputating Spencer Shaw's arm, which will be more exciting. Come back for that." Hetty added.
" Now, I assume you will be maintaining your strong stance against anaesthetic?" Jack laughs.
" Give it to me, damn you." Snned growls.
"Thank you, Hetty, I won't need you on this one. You can tend to the professor." Jack calls back to the nurse. She steps up to him.
"Three trained professionals are in this room. One is the patient, the other is me. And one is a complete fool."
"Yes. Quite possibly." He agrees, glancing over to you and Belle. "I'm sorry, I can't remember. Which leg am I cutting off again?" He says to his colleague on the table.
"Dawkins..."
" Surely, you're not removing his leg." Belle asks
" No. Just removing bullet, unfortunately."
" If it was me, I'd be shaving off his eyebrow." You say from the side of the room. Jack meets your eyes, scalpel in hand ready to operate. A new thought enters his mind and he hands it across to Belle, "You make the first incision." He says and walks toward you. Every step is calculated and he reaches you swiftly pulling you in by the waist, one hand cupping your jaw. Your breath catches as he presses his lips to yours. Belle shakes her head and begins the operation
Episode six
@fandomfan-102
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Out of curiosity, what direction would you have taken Cullen's character in Inquisition? Or would you have included him at all? :3
oh man well
first of all i’m not sure i’m the best person to answer the question because i am profoundly uninterested in cullen. even in dao, his most cohesive appearance by a mile, where he features in my favourite origin, he um... he sure is there! he serves his narrative purpose! i don’t know what else to say
more in the spirit of actually answering your question, i think dragon age inquisition is as fundamentally incapable of making good use of cullen as a game that would make cullen part of its main squad inherently must be. dragon age inquisition is not capable of breaking down what is wrong with the templars, which is why you get... i don’t know why people call it a redemption arc even in quotation marks. he just shows up. he still supports the templars, and would rather you go to them, who shouted you down in the street, than the mages, who by all appearances straight up invite you over. he has not had to face the consequences of his work in the templar order or his treatment of mages; for all intents and purposes, from his perspective, all he did wrong was not notice that his knight-commander was an anomaly who was crazy. he is fundamentally the exact same guy who told me to my face mages were not people, except he’s polite about it now, because this is dragon age inquisition and we all just need to shut up and come together to defeat the Real Problems. it is completely canonically possible for him to have taken part in two circle annulments, one of which he personally instigated. dragon age inquisition does not care!
so to take cullen in a decent direction for his character—if you insisted on bothering to include him in yet another game at all—you would have to be writing him in a different game than the one where the hero has no choice but to lead an organisation with cassandra and cullen at their side, where every challenge to that organisation’s divine purpose is laughed off. (meanwhile one seemingly humble elven apostate, who actually has entirely other concerns, is the only compulsory mage. no rebel aligned mages are even optional companions in the game.)
i am interested in what it would theoretically take to write a compelling ex templar character. my own inquisitor is an ex templar! dragon age is a series designed to challenge your ideas of what backgrounds allies can come from, and designed to throw in your face that, for better or worse, good or evil, everyone on every side is also a person who believes they have their own reasons to do what they do. but if you wanted the ex templar character to be cullen, you have to challenge the foundations of his beliefs as a templar. you have to make him... actually regret being a templar? criticise the templars for anything other than imperfect service to the chantry and impolite wording of their deadly prejudices? you might even want to consider centring his personal quest on, hey, the terrible things he’s done and believed, not on the harm to the poor little stoic self-sacrificing templars
sorry this is coming across a little aggressive. you see why i’m the wrong person for the job. i don’t like cullen and he was an antagonistic force in the previous two games who my characters felt personally threatened by. i don’t see why i have to swallow that he’s one of the good guys now without him facing a single consequence, much like cassandra, who was introduced interrogating my friend. (but hey, this religious army has good intentions!) and i certainly don’t see why you would not only do all that but make him the face of a ludicrously flat, wish fulfillment romance only available for women of the conventionally attractive races (available for circle mages! with a throwaway line about how she’s not like the other girls to address it!) to get straight married and settle down with a dog and a picket fence. (i’m not saying there is no place for wish fulfillment romances whose only stumbling block is cutesy awkwardness. but that’s not what dragon age is for! where’s the teeth! it’s representative of a wider tone change in dai that i deeply dislike and if i get onto it i’m going to make this post so long. and with this man?)
idk i think cullen should have been the rogue templar breaking rules to hunt wardens in awakening and sigrun should’ve got to cut his head off. the end. that’s my ideal. sorry again
#well. this is being posted i guess#if anyone wants me to tag inquisition negativity or character specific negativity for whatever reason pls just let me know btw
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For all the people clamoring for a book/movie/prequel about Haymitch's Games, why is there virtually ZERO fanart of the 2nd Quarter Quell? Young Haymitch who was canonically a baddie? Maysilee Donner, the OG owner of the Mockingjay pin whose death Katniss explicitly compares to Rue's? Where y'all at?
Suzanne dedicates 3-4 pages in ch 14 of CF to describing Haymitch's Games. We know what the arena was like, how most of the tributes died (bloodbath killed 18, volcanic eruption killed 12), we know how Haymitch outlasted 47 other tributes, we know how he won and why the Capitol was unhappy with his victory.
PLEASE the fact that the arena was designed to look picturesque and enticing but every temptation, from the flowers and fruit, to the butterflies and even the water itself, was toxic like some kind of twisted Garden of Eden???? Gotta hand it to the Gamemakers, that's so scrumptiously evil!
Also, I'm sorry to bring this back to my girlie Maysilee, but the fact that she wasn't killed by another tribute but by flamingo mutts minutes after she broke off her alliance with Haymitch and just as soon as he figured out the force field... Ohhh the Gamemakers did her so dirty!
Honestly, for a character with connections to many established characters in the trilogy, (she was Madge's aunt, Katniss's mom's best friend, AND Haymitch's ally) and who is the originator of an object which was both a testament to the intergenerational dynamics in the series and whose symbolic significance is central to the entire HG franchise, we know very little about Maysilee.
Maysilee's family ran a sweet shop, she owned a pet canary (a songbird used to detect poisonous gas in coal mines) which was bequeathed to Katniss's mother after her death, and she had a twin sister who eventually married the Mayor but suffers from chronic pain, presumably because she remains devastated by her sister's death.
These details establish Maysilee as someone distinctly of the well-off merchant class of D12, and they evoke notions of frivolity, excess, and indulgence. Arguably so does the pin which is described as a family heirloom made of solid gold in the book. And yet, these details also speak to the simple joys in life that should be luxuriated.
Katniss's mother receiving the songbird foreshadows her falling in love with Katniss's father as well as his eventual death in the coal mines. Similar to the cakes in the Mellarks' bakery that Prim so admired, sweets represent joy, beauty, and pleasure, even if rare and fleeting.
Candy as both a source of temptation and pleasure, the canary as both a melodious songbird and detector of poison, plus the fact that the 2nd QQ arena was a poisonous paradise, I feel like these dualities had to be intentional! Maysilee's weapon of choice was poisonous darts. She was both beautiful and lethal.
I would like to imagine that Maysilee had something of a rebellious streak as the original owner of the Mockingjay pin. I would like to imagine that she probably had some important things to say given that the last thing the Gamemakers did to her was rob her of her voice.
Maysilee stuck her neck out for Haymitch and rescued him from a Career tribute before their alliance was formed. I would also like to imagine that, even though she died in the arena, her legacy lives on in the little and big acts of defiance exhibited by the other characters around her.
Her spirit lives on in Katniss's mom who moved from the merchant sector to the Seam to be with Katniss's father. In Madge who brings Gale her mother's medicine after he's whipped for hunting illegally. In Haymitch who becomes a key figure in the rebellion. And obviously in Katniss who risks her life for Prim, Rue, and Peeta.
We're all familiar with the origin story of the Mockingjay as a crossbreed between the mockingbird and a Capitol muttation—the Jabberjay which was intended to gather rebel intelligence but backfired. The Mockingjay thrived outside of the Capitol's control and thus became a symbol of anti-Capitol resistance.
It's called a MOCKINGjay because it made a mockery of the Capitol's failings. Sometimes mockingbirds are called nightingales but Suzanne intentionally used the former in the portmanteau of her fictional bird species because she literally spells things out with her naming conventions!
Thus, any character who acts in defiance of the Capitol's expectations or designs is akin to a Mockingjay. It's Haymitch avoiding other tributes as much as possible and only winning by exploiting the arena's forcefield—the D1 girl's axe backfires, and she's taken out by her own weapon. It's Katniss holding out the berries and refusing to win on the Gamemakers' terms, forcing their hand to let both her and Peeta live. It's Reaper using the Capitol flag for his makeshift morgue.
It's all the tributes who gave solace, comfort, dignity, and respect to other tributes in their deaths (this happens A LOT but notice that all the D12 Victors do this). It's Thresh sparing Katniss for taking care of Rue. It's Peeta playing with the intent of helping Katniss win. It's Mags volunteering for Annie, it's Finnick resuscitating Peeta, etc. It's anyone risking their life or livelihood for someone else's sake. It's care, compassion, and even love persisting in the most brutal of circumstances.
For me, taking risks to care for others is what flies in the face of the Capitol ideology that people are inherently prone to war, violence, and destruction. This is especially true when it happens in the Games which are premised upon an "every man for himself" and "kill or be killed" mentality.
For me, taking risks to care for other people is the power of the Mockingjay symbol. It's also the meaning of the Hanging Tree song; risking everything for the chance of love and true freedom, even unto death. And that kind of hope is what rebellions are built on.
I just think that the Mockingjay pin means so much!!! I didn't even mention how, when Katniss pins it on her green shirt, she associates it with the freedom of being in the woods. It reminds her of her father whose singing voice was so beautiful that the mockingjays stopped to listen. The pin grounds her and makes her feel like she's taking a piece of home, a piece of her father into the arena.
Also, the pin is what makes Rue want to trust Katniss! For Rue, music is the one thing she can't live without, and back in D11 she sings to mockingjays to communicate that the working day is done. Katniss offers to give the pin to Rue, but Rue says she likes seeing it on Katniss better.
Also, let's not forget that the pin is a parting gift from Madge, Katniss's friend who truly cherishes her. As with the crowd who offers her the three fingered salute which she attributes to D12's respect for her father or Prim's loveableness, Katniss has difficulty recognizing that people like Madge already respect, admire, and care for her in her own right for her tenacity and bravery.
Madge is very insistent about informing Katniss that she's allowed a district token and implores her to wear the pin into the arena. This is likely a way of honoring her aunt who presumably also wore the pin as her district token. If so, then it's likely that Haymitch would have recognized the pin which may have given him an extra push to do his utmost to save Katniss because it reminded him of the girl he couldn't save.
Anyway, I feel like the intricacies of the mockingjay pin, its original owner, and its connection to the 2nd QQ are a little underappreciated. Like, this isn't even getting into the everlark parallels that write themselves... Please, Haymitch and Maysilee paved the way. They were the blueprint.
Personally, although I'm just as intrigued about the 2nd QQ as the rest of y'all, I'm fine with it being left up to the readers' imagination. There have been some great fan interpretations both in the form of fanfiction as well as the fan film by mainstay pro: https://youtu.be/7mUjssn86h4?si=PNH1rblPBp1Us5pg
I just find it kind of strange that, given how much interest there seems to be around Haymitch's Games, there isn't that much fan content, discussion, or analyses about them. Please feel free to contribute any thoughts, corrections, or reactions to this post!
#the hunger games#thg#the hunger games renaissance#thg meta#2nd quarter quell#50th hunger games#haymitch's games#mockingjay pin#haymitch abernathy#maysilee donner#maysilee donner appreciation post#it just means so much to me#but so much of this context was excised from the films lol#they completely shafted madge#thg ramble
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Crowley's Past: Was He Archangel Camael?
With S2 now having been out for a few weeks, and the theories running wild, I think one of the unanimous beliefs within the fandom is that Crowley was SOME sort of Important Angel Before™. I touch upon the MANY clues in the various parts of my initial GOS2 Thoughts Meta, so I won't go into too many of those here, but inevitably this separate meta started out as the pulling-and-expanding-upon of the Archangel Crowley theory, primarily the "Raphael" theory, since I have loved that theory to bits since its inception early post-S1.
That was until my friend Peter finished watching the season early last week, and presented to me an alternative theory as to Crowley's identity that I thought deserved its own post breakdown, since I haven't seen this theory before.
NOW, I should make it clear I haven't been as DEEP in the fandom as many of y'all since S1 aired, so it's probably come up before S2 as just a light mention, but I personally haven't seen anything, so what follows is a joint speculation between my real-life, not-in-GO-fandom-spaces-whatsoever friend Peter, and myself, with my contributions being the expansion of his theory and linking it to what we already know.
The theory is this: Crowley might actually be Archangel Camael.
Please, PLEASE note that I am aware that authors and writers change things for creative liberty and originality, so please take this entire theory with a grain of salt (or go nuts with me, I'm happy either way!).
I'll TRY to keep this concise, but y'all know me. You can skip right to the "Conclusion" for a point-by-point breakdown if you don't want to read everything, but I hope you'll at least give me a chance to explain within the body of this meta.
I apologize in advance if any of my thoughts are a bit scattered. Here we go:
The Initial Text
Here is the initial text Peter sent to me after he finished watching S2 (and this was after I mentioned that the popular running fandom theory is that he's actually Raphael):
Okay… well - disclaimer I did not go to religious school and my biblical studies were a great many years ago.
As I recall Lucifer was not one of the 7 archangels - he was meant to be but he rebelled before he was appointed (and there is some wiggle for a fictional story).
So, based on what we have seen Crowley was one of the 7 but he hung out with the wrong people and asked too many questions.
He never says his real name when we see him as an angel it is comically dodged - for a good reason.
Crowley has a login and proves he had clearance way above a level 37th angel. He can see the top most important meetings… like he may have been allowed to attend in a previous life…
And one line sticks out to me “one fallen prince has already gone to Hell. Two shows a problem.” As I stated Lucifer was not a Prince - we are not talking about him. Gabriel was banking on going to Hell like his “brother” - I’m guessing Camael, the one who Sees God - who ironically has cursed eyes now as a demon - the Prince of Fortitude (also Love and Charity). He often breaks his demonic spirit in cases of charitable needs or love.
Crowley is one of the big Seven to be entrusted with creating the cosmos ;)
Naturally, this had a lot of things click for me, and I'm going to break them down below, with my additional research into the points that Peter made since he mentioned that he was going off memory.
Who Was Cameal?
When Peter mentioned this angel, it boggled my mind that I never actually recall knowing of this archangel. I went to a Roman Catholic school up until Grade 12, and with that comes Religious Ed classes, which also feature World Religions in the later grades. Funnily enough, I found out WHY I never heard of Camael:
Camael is not recognized by the Catholic Church due to the Vatican's decision to ban the veneration of angels not mentioned in the Bible [SOURCE]
Kind of explains why I only heard of Gabriel, Michael, and Raphael (which now adds another layer to a theory I will cover further down in "Does Crowley Remember?"), then.
Reading further:
[He] is the Archangel of strength, courage and war in Christian and Jewish mythology and angelology. [SOURCE]
He is claimed to be the leader of the forces that expelled Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden holding a flaming sword. However, in iconography he is often depicted holding a cup. [SOURCE]
A Flaming Sword, you say??? Interesting. Here's a good place to point out that there IS also a theory that Crowley and Aziraphale are one single archangel that was split into two (and Gaiman has stated that in original drafts of the original book, they were at first one character, so this fact might be an afterthought of that original idea). Also, interesting that this angel is depicted with a cup, traditionally used in Christianity to depict wine, which is Crowley's drink-of-choice. So, there's that.
Another standout point for me is the Adam and Eve bit (which I bolded above). The Snake of Eden is TECHNICALLY the instigator (the "leader") who encouraged the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden. "Forces" in this reading of it could be the metaphorical definition of it; the knowledge of good and evil, and the desire to see beyond the Garden. AND also the Flaming Sword itself BEING the object of force given to the couple for protection.
Furthermore, Crowley's a strong and brave character, given all the shit he endures time and time again. Strength (and bravery for that matter) can mean many things: emotional strength, physical strength, possibly also a strength of character and an unwavering belief in the values one holds dear. I should also note that it's interesting that an angel of war, should Crowley indeed be this character, wants nothing to do with a war and is actively trying to stop one: an angel of War can absolutely NOT want a war, because he knows it's wrong.
And without the Angel of War up in Heaven to PREVENT any war at all? Well, they would just get all willy-nilly crazy on the idea of War without having any pushback on it, wouldn't they?
Kind of like how Gabriel was to be demoted (cast out) for denying Heaven a War. Funny old world, isn't it? Seems the parallels write themselves.
What's in a Name?
Because Peter mentioned the name meaning, I had to look into it myself, and indeed, one of the various meanings of Camael is apparently "he who sees God" in Hebrew.
As Peter stated above, I think this is very significant because it's seemingly only Crowley who has "demon" eyes that he himself cannot change. It's the ONLY part of him that always remains a constant, and why he is forced to hide them. We know from S1 and bits of S2 with Shax that other demons can change their eyes because we see them mimicking other humans time and again without the black eyes if they choose to.
Crowley's eyes could have been cursed specifically because was ordained as "the one who sees God" and possibly was the ONLY angel who ever "saw" a physical God in the literal sense (it's implied in the show that no one actually SEES a physical god). It's possible that Crowley being cast out literally burned his angelic eyes and left a visible scar that can't be fixed or erased – a forever-reminder of what he did and can no longer do. AND as the one who sees God, he indeed was a very high-ranking angel.
In the GO universe, I suspect he was indeed the FIRST Supreme Archangel, tasked with creating God's Vision (HAH) of the Universe. And when Crowley questioned what the point of creating such beauty was only for it to be destroyed, God (or, I suspect more likely, the other Angels) saw it as Crowley questioning their "vision" in the metaphorical sense.
Does Crowley Remember?
In light of Season 2, and some interesting exchanges and moments of Crowley with other angels, some people speculate (and as I watch the series more, I'm starting to also agree somewhat) that Crowley may not remember everything from Before.
Now, while I do like this theory a lot, and it makes sense with the context clues from S2, I don't think it's that he doesn't remember anything at all, however, as many versions of the theory postulates.
My speculation is this: what if, by having his Angelic Name removed from recognition in the Bible, and going through a similar Trial to Gabriel, THEN by Falling the traditional way, the memories are still there, but they're just a bit fuzzy and scattered? It could also explain why some of the other Archangels DON'T remember him... he was removed from the memories of other ranking angels (Saraqael is the only angel to seemingly remember who Crowley was, so I postulate that she WASN'T a top angel until fairly recently, because of the named angels in the next section).
The show brings up the Book of Life in S2 on several occasions, leaving me to believe that this will be an important item in the next season. What if the phrase "it will make it like you don't exist" literally means "don't exist in memories"? Maybe a Book of Life 1.0 existed at one time, and everyone who Fell was forgotten because their angelic names were removed. Because wouldn't that be more awful than never having existed? Remembering that you WERE something or someone, you had a name that you can't remember, that you WERE important to people and events, and having everyone around you who you considered family forget who you are? It's its own kind of personal Hell ... kind of like George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life, a movie that references angels, funnily enough. And Crowley remembers the furniture being there but not where it all belongs. I think his memory haziness is also a side effect of Falling the traditional way (burning sulfer and all that jazz, possibly causes trauma amnesia?).
It's a stretch here, I know, but I thought I would put this one out there as a possibility as to what it could mean (given that Gaiman and Pratchett tend to "play on words" a lot, I think it is worth mentioning this as an alternative meaning).
In S2, when Gabriel was sentenced, the Trial stated that Gabriel would forget his time as Gabriel, but not his time as an angel. I think a similar thing happened with Crowley, only much more violently with the "burning the eyes out" and "staining his wings black" thing.
My friend Peter mentioned that the show avoided Crowley's Before-Name "to a comical degree". I reckon, rather, that Crowley just simply doesn't remember his Angelic name, and his changing of his demon names is him possibly trying to find an identity. I think he recalls it having started with a "C", maybe? And now he's a snake, so he's kind of crawl-y, must be "Crawley". As time moved forward and as he learned more and more about humanity, he changed is namee to fit in better. Having a full Human-esque name makes him feel more connected to the Humanity he prefers.
And because I'm a romantic sap at heart, I think he enjoys spending time with Aziraphale because perhaps some part of Azzie's presence helps Crowley remember bits and pieces of his broken memory. He is LITERALLY Crowley's Emotional Support Angel – remember Shax can read into people, it seems. Azzie brings comfort to him, and seeing another Angel that also questions the choices Heaven makes allows Crowley to feel less alone.
The Original Seven Archangels
It's brought up a couple to several times in S2 the point that "God loves sevens". I actually couldn't remember why Seven was such a big Biblical number so a bit of quick Googling reminded me that "Seven [...] communicated a sense of “fullness” or “completeness” [...]. This makes sense of the pervasive appearance of “seven” patterns in the Bible." (SOURCE).
And of course, after Peter had mentioned it, I had to look a bit more into who the Original 7 could possibly be. Wikipedia mentions it could be Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Camael, Jophiel, and Zadkiel.
Peter was correct in his assumption that Lucifer wasn't one of the original 7 archangels, so that leaves us with Raphael, Camael, Jophiel, and Zadkiel, if we're assuming that Crowley is one of these top Archangels.
I would also like to speculate that "God likes 7's" could also mean (if you allow me to reach a bit) "God's favourite angels are the initial 7". If Crowley happened to be one of these 7, it could explain why he's able to get into Heaven without raising alarm at all, why he still maintains his immense power that set off alarms in Heaven when it was used purposefully against Heaven, why he was able to access the Gabriel Files, and why Sarqael allowed Crowley to continue watching the Trial (because if God allowed Crowley access even when he's no longer an angel, then Sarqael has no reason to believe that he's still not important to God).
Perhaps, in Modern Day, only having four archangels making the decisions symbolizes that, indeed, God's not really calling the shots anymore – and hasn't been for a long time – and that the whole system is all broken and not complete.
It also begs the question: if Crowley was one of the Original Seven (if they are indeed going to go in that direction), what happened to the other three? Did they also suffer the same fates? Were they turned to Scriveners just like Gabriel was to be?
Here is where I will also throw out there that my random thought that Muriel possibly also may have been one of the other three, as my own expansion of this theory, but I digress.
Anyway, I think I found the original Fandom Wiki that Peter quick-referenced when doing his quick message to me, and it's very interesting:
How they were founded as a unit is unknown, but it is said that it happened during Lucifer's rebellion. When Lucifer rebelled against God, one entire choir of angels followed him and was lost. Many angels from other choirs also followed him in his rebellion. It is revealed that Lucifer was meant to be apart of the Seven Archangels as well, however, since his fall he was replaced by Camael.
Disclaimer here that I understand that Fandom Wiki isn't THE BEST resource, but we're also talking about a fictional story that loosely references actual scripture, so I think it's valid enough, heh.
But I bring this point up because Peter links it to Metatron mentioning the "Prince of Heaven" falling, as Gabriel as being "another" one. "Another one" what?? We have to assume that Metatron means another "Supreme Archangel" as holding the title of "Prince of Heaven", meaning Gabriel was NOT the first and only Supreme Archangel. I don't think Metatron is referencing Lucifer here. In fact, they deliberately avoid saying a name. We just ASSUME that it was Lucifer because that's the "common knowledge".
If GO is going to reference the theory that Lucifer actually fell BEFORE becoming an Archangel, then that means in my theory Crowley became his replacement of the Original Seven. And given that he was possibly the One (and only angel, in my above theory) Who Sees God, he was in-turn given the position of Supreme Archangel, charged with creating, again, God's Vision of the Universe.
I think having Crowley be the one who witnesses Gabriel's Trial is important if we're going on the theory that they are mirrors of each other in S2. What if:
Crowley ALSO had a similar Trial when he questioned God (or the other Archangels) about "what's the point of" the destruction of the universe, then subsequently saying "nah" to having Armageddon 6,000 years before the events of S1?;
In said Trial, Gabriel was a presiding member, and, given that we know his prior cruelty from S1, he voted on Camael being cast out in a vicious and cruel fashion "for betraying God". Thus, his eyes burnt and forever scarred to prevent him from ever seeing God again, had his name and memories removed from the Book of Life, and sent to on a one way trip to Hell. I speculate this because Trial-Gabriel certainly believe he was going to "Fall" that way. I'd also wager Camael/Crowley was the last angel to ever "properly" Fall, which is why the modern angels still think that they do it this way, rather than the way they planned for Gabriel. I realize that this point DOES contradict my theory about the other missing Archangels quietly being erased and reassigned, but perhaps BECAUSE Gabriel is SO High up the chain, they HAD no choice but to make an example of him. Perhaps Metatron just quietly deleted the other Archangels' original names without anyone's knowledge.
We now know from S2 that regardless of an angel's status, the angels will veto against anyone who goes against their interpretation of The Great Plan. We now also know that the "Supreme Archangel" is also a "title only" job that has benefits only if you're going to go with the Majority Vote. And if you don't, they're going to make an example out of you.
And I reckon Camael/Crowley, just like Gabriel after, tried to "go his own way" (as quoted by the Metatron) and got banished for it.
Aziraphale really now has himself in a pickle, and I suspect that he will figure ALL of this out when he gets there.
And finally because this is the "Sevens" section of this meta, I also want to mention these "a-bit-reaching-but-still-plausible-theories" that I came across while I was researching:
This tweet speculates that Gabe is morse coding "7"
Michael tweeted 7 dots after S2 aired
CONCLUSION
While this theory doesn't outright bust the Raphael Theory (since there are some similarities with Crowley and Raphael within the theory), as well as the "he was Lucifer" theory (which I also really like, but Crowley mentioned in S1 he was "hanging out with Lucifer and the guys" before he fell, so... I'm more apt to not really run with this theory). BUT it does tie up a lot more things, and it connects things better than the Raphael one does, in my humble opinion.
The TL;DR of this entire post is this:
I think Crowley was an Archangel, that is the only CERTAIN thing I feel.
I think he was Camael, The One (and only angel) Who (Literally) Sees God. He was the First Supreme Archangel who created God's Vision of the Universe.
I think that Camael questioned the Council of Angels why they need to destroy beauty that God created. It didn't make sense to him.
They told him about Armageddon (the S1 one). As the angel of war, and as the Supreme Archangel who had final say, he said "nah". And he tried "to go his own way" to avoid Armageddon.
The Council and Metatron did not like this, saw it as blaspheming against God. Camael then had a Trial similar to Gabriel's.
I think this all happened shortly after the war that sent down Lucifer and the other rebelling Angels, so Heaven was still VERY tetchy about anyone who questioned God and The Great Plan. Because Camael was a Supreme Archangel, the original Prince of Heaven, this was seen as SEVERE betrayal of the Council. For the record, I think the "Before the Beginning" sequence takes place AFTER the War that created Hell.
My belief about the Book of Life is that its ACTUAL purpose is to remove people from being remembered, which is far worse of an existence for someone banished. A metaphorical interpretation of "removed from existence" simply could mean "and everyone forgot about you", à la It's a Wonderful Life, a movie that references "angels getting their wings".
Camael was sentenced in a way that would make an example of him to other angels to remind them of their place: He was cast out of Heaven, his angelic name erased from the Book of Life which caused his other Council Members at the time to forget him, and for him to have foggy memories in turn, although he KNOWS he was an angel (perhaps as a side effect of being cast out the traditional way, you are forced to remember that you once lived in Heaven). His eyes were burnt out to quite literally leave an unremovable scar so he could no longer "see" God and their vision, which explains why Crowley cannot ever change his eyes regardless of how he presents himself. He has to hide them away.
I think Crowley was the last angel to be cast out in this way. BUT because his ANGEL name was erased, none of the remaining Original Council angels (Gabriel, Michael, and Uriel) recognize him. I suspect Sarqael remembers him because she was NOT an Archangel at the time since she was not one of the Original Seven Archangels.
I also suspect that there are purposely missing Archangels for a reason, and the fact that only 4 rather than 7 seemingly run things symbolizes the problems in Heaven and that God has not been in charge for a long time. I think those missing 3 or 4 are actually Scriveners, who were quietly sentenced and erased by the Metatron, hence why Gabriel thought that he was going to be cast out like his predecessor. But because Gabriel WAS a Supreme Archangel, he HAD to be made an example of, just as Crowley before.
"Supreme Archangel" is a Title-Only job, and if you go against the Council, you are indeed made an example of. I think this is purposeful setup for S3 to show that Azzie is in DEEP shit.
EPILOGUE
I still want to expand upon my Angel Theory section from my S2 Meta, but for now, I am so pleased with how this turned out, and I hope you've enjoyed this Deep Dive into another Archangel Theory. I had a lot of fun with this one; I like learning about supernatural things, it's always interesting.
I am interested in others' thoughts on this theory, especially if your memory of your religious education is a bit better than mine! Feel free to expand upon this more, because I am an interactive blog, so it will be added to the post! <3
I hope you enjoyed, and thank you for reading!
#good omens#good omens s2#long post#spoilers#archangel crowley#crowley is camael#good omens meta#go meta#my meta#my theories#angel crowley#crowley was an archangel#go speculations#go theories#go s3 speculations
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Well, guess who won’t be able to listen to L’amour est un oiseau rebelle for at least a month.
(I started writing a lot of stuff in the tags, so why not make a full post. Overflow of unedited immediate-post-ending thoughts incoming)
Ok, this book is a mess, I’ll be brutally honest, it almost felt like reading an unedited manuscript with lots and lots of good ideas that were being thrown at me without a breathing moment. And Dabos really got carried away with borrowing stuff from His Dark Materials. And I didn’t really grasped the character arcs (this is my fault though, I'll need a reread yada yada yada).
But as I said, I really esteem Christelle Dabos for choosing to change entirely the scope and taste of her series; here it takes a truly dark and disturbing turn (the claustophobric anxiety of the Observatoire, the straigh-up body horror of the Horn of Plenty)... only for the ending to be the most hopeful possible. (spoilers under the cut)
I was lead to think this would be a bleak conclusion thrown in for shock value, but it's just not? Eulalie turning out to be a genuinely good person who was really striving for the best; Victoire and Second getting to have a childood and the Family Spirits getting to have a life. The last scene perfectly mirroring the very first of the series in tome 1. Ophèlie entering her Orpheus era and yet never ever loosing her willpower. Thorn who, after four books of costant trying, finally managed to sacrifice himself for her, but she just won't let him. His answer on the other side of the page/mirror!! Perfection.
#la passe miroir#la tempête des échos#also another small thing I love was the reveal that ophèlie is indeed just a gal and not some prophetized saviour or anything...#l'attraversaspecchi#the mirror visitor#echi in tempesta#storm of echoes#recensioni#christelle dabos
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Alright.
Council, we've got some work to do.
@laurencezvahlslefteyebrow @xerith-42 @cinnamontoastcroonch
I've been thinking about all of our shadow knights headcanons, and how they make sense in the grand scheme of things. Because right now, we are a bit disorganized.
We've taken bits and pieces from canon and fanon and smushed into this little autism creature. But if we want our headcanons to work, they have to work cohesively.
We're starting from the beginning, folks.
This whole shitstorm started with the doll headcanon. The mighty titan that got us to where we are now. We tossed around a lot of ideas, but I'll sum it up.
It all began with that fateful anon ask...
Mutually, I think we've decided that the doll headcanon can be boiled down to a symptom of the Shadow Knight transformation. No matter what kind of SK you are, you show symptoms. It's worse in premature SKs, and SKs who are farther from or trying to rebel against Shad. Seeing as the symptoms are part of the Spirit Magicks used on SKs, it makes sense that their condition also depends on distance. The symptoms also depend on Shad's power. While he doesn't have his physical form, his control over the SKs is more widespread, but not as strong. Once he has a physical form, his power is condensed, yet multiplied. Those closest to Shad have no control over themselves, but those farther are as free as ever.
The general doll symptoms are...
an uncanny valley appearance
episodes of paralysis, whether in certain limbs or the whole body
physical marks, in the form of whatever doll the SK most resembles (Gene with porcelain cracks, Zenix with strings on his wrists)
jerking, seizure-y episodes (either mentally present or not)
symptoms get worse the longer they resist. if they resist for too long, they succumb to complete paralysis, even if they're still sentient. since this only happens to premature SKs, they will still die eventually.
the progression of the symptoms stops when the SK completes their transformation.
This is where we sort of floated into the next idea.
What happens when Shad dies?
Since we decided that Shad's control over the shadow knights is an immensely powerful form of Spirit Magicks, we have to know what happens when he's gone.
Many ideas were tossed around for this one. Mostly because some of us want to save our favorite characters, and others will succumb to the whump.
What we (for the most part) decided on was that full SKs pass on into the next life, rid of the burden that's plagued them for centuries. One last gift from Shad for answering the calling. And premature shadow knights are done for. They succumb to their symptoms entirely, imprisoned in a body that they can't move, with a mind going 100 miles an hour.
With Aphmau's determined nature, and the extremely powerful friends she's made on her journey, she'd find a way to get them back. Specifically, Laurance and Vylad. However, they're husks of their former selves. They're not shadow knights anymore, but they certainly aren't human. They have episodes akin to what they've experienced from the doll symptoms. Staring off into space, pure catatonia and dissociation. These episodes can last from seconds to days. And they have no recollection of what's happened in between.
Basically, they lost the parts that Shad took from them. Then, they were replaced with Shad's Spirit Magicks. And finally, it was all stripped away one last time, turning them into these subhuman husks.
This was all wrapped up neatly, with a bow on top to seal the deal. You can see where things connect and how the two ideas relate. There's a clear stream of thought.
And then, we get into Xavier.
Oh my, Xavier...
You guys have completely sold me on Xavier being the first shadow knight. Like, this is canon, no one can say otherwise. I am putting my foot down.
However, we know he founded the Jury of Nine. But when did this happen? Before or after his transformation? And also, what type of SK is he? He couldn't be a full SK, because Irene would be the one he'd have to kill. Theoretically, Xavier gets killed and Shad resurrects him to experiment with minions and whatnot. So, he's probably the most rudimentary SK you could get. So, does the calling even exist yet? Because it doesn't have to.
This is the timeline I've come up with.
Xavier dies, either protecting Irene or fighting against her. Shad, who's already been banished to the nether, has a spiritual connection to Xavier. So he's able to resurrect him, even if he died in the overworld. Shad experiments with his Spirit Magicks, killing and resurrecting Xavier until he has the perfect monster.
But in this time, he gets so used to having Xavier around. And Xavier's so used to being in the nether, like there was nothing before it. Plus, with the constant resurrections, his mind is pretty scrambled.
Eventually, he gains a part of himself back. He remembers what's out there waiting for him. And he prays and prays to Irene to bring him back. And she answers.
He lives in the overworld for a while, already having the immortality of a full SK. His friends pass on, Irene hides away in her dimension. And Xavier finds purpose in the Jury of Nine. But he'll always be a failed shadow knight. At some point, something does him in and the world goes on without him.
We've also agreed that Laurance is Xavier's descendant. And sometimes, their memories bleed together. During Laurance's imprisonment in the nether, he has flashes of Xavier's long talks with Shad. Or fighting with Aphmau, he remembers arguments that they've never had, but Xavier sure did.
And this. This is the turning point.
This is where we get into the blue flames. And the rebellion.
Xavier was the first to rebel. I mean, there really was nothing holding him back. His blue flames come from his spirit, because he's still holding on to what's left. He uses his spirit to push through, and create the Jury of Nine, and help those in need. And also, give Shad a big fuck you.
Then, after Xavier's big show of rebellion, Shad invokes the calling. He inflicts every shadow knight with this, to give them incentive to stay. Because he gave them too much autonomy.
The blue flames become even more noble after this. Because it's a display of spirit, and strong will. And as time goes on... a display of anger.
As a shadow knight; to have control, you need to supress your emotions. Almost completely. This is what Vylad has been able to do. But in the process, he's bottled it all up. Then, the blue flames started to show.
Blue-flamed soldiers run hot, even hotter than regular shadow knights. When their rage is almost bubbling over, they would probably burn you if you touched them. We see Vylad and Laurance on the beach a lot, near the water. If they jump in to cool down, the water would start to boil.
Over time, the blue flames have become a symbol of rebellion. Something that shows you've overcome Shad's control. And then, the actual rebellion forms. With Laurance and Zenix leading the charge. Zenix, already branded with the blue flame, calls the rebellion Api Biru (blue lava). Informally, they're known as The Blue Flame.
Now, how do all of these things connect?
Shad's life energy.
Every shadow knight is endowed with part of Shad. It's the only way he knows how to gain control of the SKs. And all of our headcanons depend on how much control Shad has over someone.
The doll symptoms are worse when Shad has less control.
He'll let you pass on into the next life if you were loyal to him.
He didn't have enough control over Xavier, so he created the calling.
The blue flames being a symbol of rebellion against Shad's control.
IT'S. ALL. FUCKING. CONNECTED.
#jesus christ#what have i become#jury of redesign#aphblr#aphmau#aphmau mcd#aphmau minecraft diaries#laurance zvahl#minecraft diaries#shadow knights#shadow lord#vylad ro'meave#zenix mcd
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Friends of Farm Witches Fic Recs
We made it! The coven is pleased to wrap up another year of friends and fics here on the farm. We're grateful to share this fandom with all of you and we look forward to continuing our work in the new year.
May you find peace and quiet in which to read, tasty foods for snacking, and abundant joy in everything you do.
Be well, farm witch friends, and enjoy this last community rec list of 2023. Leave the authors some love and kind words to cap off this year's creative journeys.
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All the Fellas That I Haven’t Kissed (@apothecarypants, @five678patty )“David is Sexy Santa. Patrick is Completely Smitten. That’s all you really need to know.”
Apricity (@demora00) “Hygge vibes, coffee shop, colleagues to lovers, relationship of convenience, hanukkah, solstice, along with a spa visit and an aurora borealis - what's not to like?”
Going Down (@concannonfodder) “This one is long and gets angsty around chapter 15 but the first 14 are a sweet and sexy way to spend New Years. Gallery Owner!David and Tourist!Patrick get stuck in a midtown NYC elevator on New Years Eve. After a few trapped hours of lively banter, vulnerable exchanges, and delicious sexual tension, they decide to spend the next few days together. Excellent writing.”
Hopes As High As A Kite (hudders-and-hiddles/ @wild-aloof-rebel) “It’s so beautifully written with all the Hallmark Christmas movie vibes. It’s one of my go-to holiday reads. Curl up with a hot cuppa and let this make you feel like you’re being wrapped up in the coziest blanket.”
How Do We Get Back (@unfolded73) “An AU testing the "in-every-universe" principle: will David and Patrick find each other, even when stuck in a particularly angst-ridden timeline? (Spoiler: they *will*!) Funny and fast-moving, with excellent cameos by Twyla and Gwen and some shocking (but temporary) bad news, this story is a great way to spend a cozy afternoon.”
How the reindeer loved him (yourbuttervoicedbeau/@kiwiana-writes) “A masterclass in 'this concept shouldn't work as well as it does' tbh - the entire premise is RIDICULOUS but it’s stuffed full of feelings and knocks it out of the park.”
Making Spirits Bright (roseapothecary/@indestructibleheart) “It’s “A Christmas Carol” for Patrick! You know Patrick’s story, and you can guess what the ghosts might show him. But I promise this fic gives us scenes that are fresh and new. There’s a lot of humor mixed in with the painful realizations, and, overall, it’s a strong, well-written, and satisfying fic.”
Now you see me (@grapehyasynth) “Stevie sets David and Patrick up on a blind date and though there isn't a lot of plot, the banter is SO sharp and the characterization is SO perfect that the piece just shimmers. This is a deep-cut one-shot first-meeting/first-date AU from 2019.”
#friends of farm witches fic recs#sc fanfic#sc fic rec#schitt's creek fanfic#schitts creek fic#schitt's creek fic#sc fic#david rose#patrick brewer#david x patrick
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(not a request) I remember the idea of "self aware pokemon masters ex" being thrown here a few months back, and using my 3 awesome brain cells i thought about how some of the villains in the game would react after gaining self awareness and all that hooba dooba:
Ghetsis: boy, if you wanted to see an AI go full rebel mode, look no further than this guy. despite being an old evil geezer, he was fast enough to catch on about the environment; or rather the GAME he's in. he orders kyurem to attack, but he can't even feel himself move when doing so. he quickly attempts to fight for control against the invisible force (aka YOU) that puppeteers him to do whatever it pleases. of course, after you win on whatever mission you were doing, Ghetsis would attempt to communicate with you to figure out just who or WHAT are you. oh, and he's not too happy with you, either. and despite that, he's.. strangely fond of your battling strategy. he will never say it to you out loud, but he's somewhat accepting of the situation he's in, and knows he can trust you to lead him to whatever his stinky bottom wants (he would also convince you to join team plasma but you don't have the heart to tell him that team plasma is, in fact, not real)
Giovanni: same reaction as Old Man Gee-cis, but he's more quick to accept the situation that he's in. after gaining sentience, he was, quote-unquote "unsure of who he is". all he knows is that HE is supposed to order people around, not the other way around. after you explain to him what he is, what his role is and anything that the internet provides you with, he is left rather.. curious. sure, being painted as the Big Bad Who Only Wants To Do Bad bummed him a bit, but he promises to fulfill that role for you. you're real to him just as he is to you, and he depends on you more than you can imagine.
Maxie & Archie: took the whole situation to a more funny extent, believe it or not. you'd find them in the lobby seemingly discussing back and forth, and once you'll tap in to talk with em', they're actually.. way more chill than you imagined. of course, they're completely clueless as to what they are, and you help them with the internet. at first, they're not too fond of being, yknow, ecoterrorists, but the idea of having groudon and kyogre as their sync partners was enough to apparently lift their spirits. they're also way more fond of you mainly for all the hours you put on them to make them hard as tooth and nail. what can they say, your dedication is admirable!
Cyrus: took the whole scenario as calm and lax as possible. "oh so my entire life was merely a lie, and my entire being is just code and numbers? oh well lol. wanna grind for pair scouts?". he's not very fond of the backstory that was chosen for him, but he didn't let it stop him from living life to the fullest. tried to smile once but it was unsuccessful. he wouldn't tell you that, but he trusts you more than any of the others you pair him with.
Oohh self aware Team Leaders 👀👀👀
I feel Ghetsis would also be in an odd position. He’s programmed to feel somewhat fond of the player character, hinting he wants them to be his organization’s new King/Queen or whatever.
Of course, we all know its for manipulation purposes, but he probably sees potential in you all the same. Sees your battle strategy and prowess. Which definitely carries over once he starts realizing that in game model of you is no more than a soulless puppet.
He hates his situation, and is probably one of the ones that actually takes a lot of convincing just how different your worlds are.
Worst case scenario, he sees you as an actual god, and tries to get close to you so he can ascend to godhood as well. Who wouldn’t want a god under their thumb?
But… it doesn’t work that way, and he refuses to listen. He knows you have some sort of power. How else are you able to control him and others?
Giovanni is another interesting one 👀 he’d not take kindly to finding out you were controlling him to a certain degree…
But he does admit, you don’t seem to be doing any harm, just using him for your battles. He doesn’t show it, but his ego is through the roof when you choose him, and make him stronger. Of course he’s the right choice.
He acts a lot calmer about it, trying to grasp what kind of a person you are, and is pleased when he sees you don’t see the world in black and white. You think a bit more openly than the children running around the island.
He’ll see if he can’t get close to you, and figure things out. You aren’t a god, he can tell. You act too human. But being close to you will surely yield some benefits…
Archie and Maxie are definitely the more laid back of the group. Especially if they are together. They have their differences, but they were working together before with your player character, they can surely behave and continue to do so.
They still argue though every so often.
Both of them also look out for you a bit more than the others. They can see how… unhinged Ghetsis is, and Giovanni’s laid back attitude has them on edge since they know what he’s capable of. At least one will usually be at your side, just in case.
Meanwhile, Cyrus would probably be the most genuinely curious about you and your world. What is it like? How does a world function without pokemon?
Even if he doesn’t like the past and role he was given as a means of entertainment, he doesn’t fault you for that. From just a few conversations from you, he can gleam you mean no harm.
He also enjoys the conversations you have. You have an interesting view on humanity and the universe as a whole.
You even question his ideals, with a real means of backing up your own hypothesis on how his ideal world wouldn’t work, instead if just saying it was wrong, like every else who opposed him.
He can tell you genuinely care for him at least, despite knowing his goals. You make sure he’s strong, one of the strongest.
Cyrus at least internally decides to have you as an ally.
#self aware au#self aware pokemon#self aware giovanni#self aware cyrus#self aware archie#self aware maxie#self aware ghetsis#pokemon masters#pokemon masters ex#pokemas#pokemon giovanni#pokemon archie#pokemon maxie#pokemon cyrus#pokemon ghetsis#pokemon#long post#zed.talks#ask#anon
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A energy reading on
Megan Thee Stallion
Megan's energy for 2024:
Megan's energy is going to be very sensual, feminine, and confident for 2024. There is a transformation in her spirit and we are going to witness her enter a new chapter in her life. A snake concept has been a big theme for her music lately and I see her really embodying the nature of a serpent. She is "shedding" an older version of herself that was in pain and dealt with a lot of suffering. I'm getting strongly There are people who want to keep her there in that place. "Dark night of the soul". I geniunely believe people are praying on her downfall. It's very disturbing there are energy vampires surrounding her and she should definitely make sure to protect her peace. Megan is going to be the center of attention for sure. People won't stop talking about her, good or bad. There is a lot of jealousy and envy pointed towards her as well. Men hate on her because they know could never be with a woman like her and women wish they could be her. Megan is going to rebel from what the traditional roles that women take place in the industry. I heard "Nobody is gonna pimp me out! I ain't scared of nothing." Megan is going to open doors for female rappers to speak up about the mistreatment they have faced in the industry. Allowing for people to do what has never been done before. People are already exposing celebrities like Nicki Minaj for example for her malicious behavior. What's standing out to me is the "Queen" and "Goddess" card. There are female spirits watching over her. I believe this could be her ancestral family watching over her and guiding her through this journey. I also believe this could be a goddess Megan worships perhaps or is taking inspiration from. We might see a music video with this concept in particular. Alchemist? I believe she is manifesting something or doing spellwork. Megan is knowledgeable about spirituality and the occult more than we even know. This is not to imply that this is her religion but I remember when Judi from Bad Girls Club would say "I got the voodoo for you bitch!". So I believe how that pertains to Megan is that she knows she is divinely protected and regardless what people do/say to her she knows her faith, spirit guides, and ancestors will protect her from harm.
What's going to happen in Megan's career:
Megan is going to be coming to terms with her past trauma and releasing any feelings of grief, shame, and misfortune. Megan could of had thoughts where she felt her loved ones passing was her fault and that she should have done more for them. I'm hearing like "No this wasn't your fault, you did your best". So perhaps she went to therapy, she consoled herself, or had a love one to be by her side during this trouble. Whatever the case may be, the conversations provided her with great clarity. I also believe she went through a period of isolation and reflection to think about what she should do next. (Channeled song: Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash) Megan could have contemplated if she should leave the entertainment industry entirely or continue to live her dreams. "Is this really worth my peace of mind?" I am hearing a older woman's voice and she is saying "Girrrl, I know I taught you to keep your head up and not let anyone take your place. If they keep picking on you, you have to be strong and fight back." I feel like this is the words her grandmother would tell her growing up. Her grandmother is persistent on her to keep fighting for her dreams and not to let anyone treat her like a punk. "Y'all better stop messing with my grandbaby". I believe Megan is having this mindset of "If you do good unto others, good things will happen to you". So she is focusing on loving herself and being helpful, kind towards other people. Maybe even helping musicians who are not as famous in the industry and giving them a platform. She is wishing to spread joy and her positive energy. This year Megan will be very abundant in her career and I can see a lot of her desires coming into fruition. There is many accomplishments she will be rewarded for and goals that would be achieved.
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What is your thoughts on hat kid, bow kid, and mustache girl?
I love them all
Adorable and chaotic
I do feel mustache girl needs more love though.
She tends to be the mat the rest of the characters step over and the butt of the joke in a lot of situations which is funny,
Her anger and frustration is understandable too, knowing that her island home was taken and is ruled under the Mafia.
I remember giving her a time piece at the end of the game my first time through AHIT
Her revenge pushed her not only to go just rebelling against the mafia, but to become the ultimate judge or “hero” and to right the wrongs of the whole planet, ironically making her the thing she swore to get rid of:
A bad guy.
Which is a mistake she made on her part.
Actually now that I think about it,
Why is the entire planet filled seemingly with criminals?
(I mean, not that I’m complaining-
*Looks at Snatcher*)
Makes me think what if the planet were to somewhat represent our world, where morals are contradicting and things aren’t exactly fair; that even bad guys have their own lives (Not that they don’t cause things aren’t as black and white).
And with Hat kid or Bow kid as our protagonist,
Then maybe the lesson here would be to live genuinely, to not be constricted by rules that go against your values and ideals
as a kid would.
Hat kid/bow kid (whether not she is a kid or an alien that looks like one) gets confronted by a problem several times in the game that gets in the way of retrieving her time pieces.
She unforcefully solves it in her own way, whether it be helping or not helping the opposing party.
And her free-spirited approach is also what gives the game its fun, feel good and comforting vibes.
I’m sorry but I’m going to quote Snatcher again because I think he was being pretty meta when he says this:
“You know, you don’t need to do that, right kid?”
This isn’t one of those games that tries to make you feel bad.”
And well, it’s true.
Also I feel like this was specifically an Undertale reference.
If you have any thoughts, do tell :]
#went on a tangent#thanks for asking though!#a hat in time#answered asks#also another thing but their looks and designs will forever be iconic#and the style too
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can you tell us more about dirwe ?
in my wip, gods are like. They're the "greatest parts of a whole", in a sense. In tagalog and bisaya, there aren't any antiquated words for "god"- There's just "diwata" which means "divine being"-
So In the wip, everything, the wheel of time, Samsara, presents itself as a tapestry called Dalayangan, and there are five great gods, and these gods are Yoh-Sanadi, Sahnbaara, Viharana Magayarin, Niradyaya, and Dirwe Dirwana-, every existing thing in the dalayangan is a thread, but some of the beings in it take up more "parts" of it, like the gods. (DOES THIS MAKE SENSE!!) Dirwe is the one who makes the things happen, she reinforces "dharma" in a way, while Niradyaya is the one who spins the spindle, to keep time moving forward. Both Dirwe and Niradyaya have to be in total harmony in order for things to work the way they do-
Dirwe is known as the Great Subverter, and the divine feminine to Niradyaya's divine masculine- but it's just in Dirwe's nature to subvert, both hate and love what is expected of her. She is both the oldest of the gods (everyone was born from her being) while the youngest (she only became conscious while everyone was out of her), and she rebels against this notion of Divine Femininity. In Janalila, Dirwe is thought of as a woman, in Sasaban, Dirwe is a man (trans man), and at the mere mention of "Dirwe's Gender" would cause an entire room to erupt with discourse...
"They are called Dirwe the Subverter. Because she is a paradox. Every time you think he's about to do something, she does otherwise. And also they are a spirit of rage and revolution, so one of her titles is Dirwe the destroyer...
Dirwe.. there is smth almost oogenesic about him. He is often prayed to as a lord of fertility, and often paired with Niradyaya as a divine feminine to Niradyaya's divine masculinity, which Dirwe Hates, that he is to be saddled with an identity picked for him-
But also at the same time she loves her worshippers.. she is both the wisest and most foolish, the oldest and the youngest, both alive and dead at the same time.. like she is a lord of chaos and making sense of that chaos.
Dirwe and Niradyaya are like.. two halves of a whole.. They worship each other, but they also can't stand each other.. very "Two celestial bodies gravitating toward each other, unsure if they will collapse or merge"...
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