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isnt-it-pretty · 3 months

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Hi! I’m sorry this is pretty random but I don’t really know where else to talk about this and since I’ve seen you talk about disabilities a lot I thought I could ask for your opinion as well

Now, I’m not exactly disabled in the traditional sense for many I think.

I’ve had eye problems for years, only recently did I find out that it’s actually cornea dystrophy, a genetic disease not exactly treatable except it gets bad enough to need a cornea transplant (which usually only happens in older ages) My doctor said I don’t need that

My case however is also still a bit severe, I have to take eye drops mornings and evenings and even those don’t always help and I simply have to hope that I don’t wake up to pain. In cornea dystrophy your cornea doesn’t get lubricated enough and easily rips apart. This mostly happens in the morning… oh and how it happens… it’s an absolute nightmare at least thrice a week I’m ripped out of sleep by sudden severe pain in one of my eyes (it switches it’s always one or the other) it feels like someone is nonstop pouring acid in your eye and I always scramble to take pain killers, eye drops (which burn like hell on a fresh rip) and water, all in hurry because no one wants to understand how agonising it is and my boss also won’t understand that I WILL have days where I’m partially blind on one eye (everytime after an “attack” that eye usually sees completely blurry for a day or more depending on the severity of the rip and pain) sometimes the pain spreads over the entire side of my skull and my eye is crying non stop and my nose is also running bc of the sensation in my eye.

But no one around me wants to understand because my doctor simply said “just use eye drops frequently”. I do.. I use eyedrops, eye gel and eye patches everyday and still have frequent “attacks” and everyone treats them like they’re nuisances for THEM.

I’m hesitant to call this a disability, it does affect me and takes me out of commission before I scramble to lessen the impact in the morning yet I can still function “normally”.

I honestly don’t know where I wanted to go with this anymore…. I think I just want someone to know what I’m dealing with because neither family nor work are showing any understanding

Please feel free to ignore this and if you read this far thank you… You don’t have to reply or anything I think at this point I’m just venting and I’m so sorry to bother you with this

Please don't feel bad messaging me! I'm not a doctor of course, nor am I an expert in disability, but I don't mind having these conversations. Although fair warning, my answer will probably be just as rambly as you're worried yours was.

There's a lot to beeak down here including shitty doctors but first and foremost, I would absolutely call your condition disability, and I would even say that a lot of disabled people would agree.

Disability is a term that has many definitions depending on who is using it. Doctors, sociologists, government, and different aspects of the disabled community will all define it differently, but this is the dictionary definition:

a physical, mental, cognitive, or developmental condition that impairs, interferes with, or limits a person's ability to engage in certain tasks or actions or participate in typical daily activities and interactions

I'd certainly say that your condition certainly qualifies. Inability to see through one eye, even episodically, the need to rely on medications, pain that wakes you up or results in an inability to function. All of those are disabling. To say it isn't is like saying diabetes isn't a disability because all they need to do is take insulin, nevermind all of the other issues that come along with it. That lower-limb amputee? They aren't disabled, all they need to do is strap on a prosthetic leg! But it doesn't work like that. A disability is still a disability even with treatment or accessability.

Having good days, or even being "fine" a few hours after an episode, doesn't negate its impact on your life. It's an invisble disability, which is probably where a lot of people's shitty opinions come from. Other people can't see the problem, so, therefore, it must not exist. You must just be overreacting or faking or using it as an excuse to get out of work because otherwise they would see it. Unfortunately, it's easier for people to pretend disability simply doesn't exist. People around you not trying to understand or accomodate is ableism. It's also a willful and fundimental misunderstanding of disability. Just because some days I have the energy to clean, or you can see through both eyes, or a dementia patient remembers their daughter's name, doesn't magically make the condition go away, or make it impact your life any less when it does happen.

Your doctor being unconcerned(which is probably the wrong word. Uncaring? Unsympathetic?) is another problem but that one is deeply rooted in ableism within the medical community, and the common view of disability by medical professionals. Just because you don't need a cornea transplant doesn't mean you aren't deserving of care and sympathy from those around you. Even if they can't do anything to help, you still deserve that respect, and it's shitty that you don't have that.

The entire situation just sucks. The people are you suck. I'm sure they're lovely otherwise but this is obviously a part where they're lacking, and I'm sorry they're unwilling to accept that your conditon impacts you.

Edit: also feel free to DM me if you'd ever like to chat, or send me another ask

#asks #disability

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angeldiaries777 · 6 months

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read the entire post idc if ur mentally ill or not mentally ill

@ people who fake mental illness you're disgusting and i hate you.

like go be your weird self somewhere else okay shut the fuck up go pretend to be gay as a cure for your basicness ATLEAST THAT DOESNT HARM ANYONE BUT YOURSELF i don't fucking care but stop trying to play mentally ill because we can see right through you. i hope u get thrown into a psych ward and are forced to take meds that fuck you up and face all of the trauma and social ostracization etc. that we face on a regular basis so you can have a taste of what its like TO BE MENTALLY ILL which is literally a fucking chemical imbalance in your brain. idc if you're 13 or 35 faking mental illness is such a shitty morally corrupt thing to do for sooo many reasons. imagine saying you had cancer when you don't have cancer. thats whats its like. literally some people's mental ilnesses are not curable or easily treatable. again this doesn't justify anything or anyone's actions. mentally ill people can very well also be bad people i don't condone any bad person. anyway this post is mostly touching on depression and anxiety disorder but it also applies to people who fake cluster b disorders ( albeit more rare) also guys i am so done with posting about mental illness i am gonna just try to reblog cute pics and cope in healthier ways. losers get blocked

#mental illness #mental health #faking mental illness #mental illness trend #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #girlblogging #girl blogger #ed not sheeren #cvtaddict #depressing shit #major depressive disorder #anxitey #bpd vent #borderline personality disorder #bi polar

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amouria · 1 year

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it was perfect weather outside--sunny, warm and a slight breeze. i ended work (on time!!!! for time in months!!!!), gathered the trash and went for a walk. It was only 30 minutes and i didn't break a sweat but i noticed i was a bit short of breath. i haven't done anything strenous since i was recovering from covid because my stamina was awful then and i didn't want to push it knowing that would worsen my recovery. anyway, i felt the breathlessness but not enough to stop my walk. i came home and was immediately hungry. i ordered food because i didnt want anything at home. finally ate and feel exhausted. it's likely fatigue. i'm worried it's because i took the 30 min walk. idk why else because i took a huge amount of vitamin d this afternoon. usually that sustains me for the day.

my worry is that while i have been improving (cough is reducing!!!), i am still short of breath and recovering. this sucks because i am HOPING it'll mean i'll fully recover. idk though. my lab work from last week didn't look great. i'm still waiting for my doctor to call and explain. i hope everything is treatable and possible to recover. the long-term impact of covid is exactly why i've avoided it to major lengths. i knew my fucking immune system couldn't take the hit when it is already dysfunctional on its own.

if you're reading this, please send positive thoughts, prayers, good vibes, etc. i really don't want to live with these effects because it'll greatly impact my day-to-day life, mostly my employment and i'm nowhere near retirement. i barely have the energy to take my nightly shower and read to bed. what am i going to do if i cannot enjoy those small comforts anymore?

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pinertab · 2 years

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the-game-spirit · 3 years

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hhhhh

#HHHHHHHHHHHH #SO MANY THINGS ARE GOING WRONG THIS WEEK AND IM NOT EQUIPPED TO HANDLE ANY OF IT #mostly im just. really worried about my dog #i hope whatever the problem is is easily treatable but. idk. im just. scared #and i gotta bully my parents into taking him to the vet THIS WEEK instead of trying to put it off #because whatever the issue is i want it figured out NOW so that it doesnt get WORSE and hhhh #i feel sick #this is the longest week of my life its only tuesday

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omegaverse-love · 3 years

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Hi 😊 thanks for making this blog! The information is so helpful when writing. ❤️ I'm going to be delving into my first real A/B/O fic, and I was wondering if you'd mind answering a few questions?

Here are some details first (TW: for discussion of death and suicide): my OC for my fic is a female Alpha who's been through a lot for only being 20-21. Her brothers died, then because of an honor thing her father killed himself and a couple years later her mom killed herself because she didn't want to live without the father/her Mate. This left her feeling like she wasn't enough of a reason for her father and mother to keep on living. My OC is also a competitive racing driver for F1 where there haven't been any women drivers in decades, let alone alpha ones, so she's a first. She and some of the other drivers from F2 that moved to F1 were sort of a pack. So my questions are:

1) What would be the effects of her "pack" leaving to join the main Driver Pack that already has two main pack Alphas and an established hierarchy? (She doesn't feel she can join because of reasons that are too detailed to get into in an ask).

2) How would it effect her to be rejected by the pack, even unintentionally or inadvertently? Like, she loses her temper at one of the pack members and the pack Alphas tell her to leave or that she's not welcome?

3) Can rejection by pack be fatal on its own or can it only be fatal if compounded by say the additional effects of an illness and/or heat/rut?

I know this is a long ask, but if you could answer any of these questions I would appreciate it so much 💓 I want to start my story, but I know virtually nothing about A/B/O. Thank you!!

I wanna start off by saying there’s no right or wrong way to do a/b/o stories because there’s no official canon, so if there’s something you don’t like or just wouldn’t work with the story you’re trying to tell, feel free to change it!

Secondly, without really knowing the personality of your character, I can really only give a general ‘most would react this way’ type of answer. That said, I’ll do my best to help you out!

1.) I don’t subscribe to the idea that loosing your pack for whatever reason would necessarily have a physical effect. However, have you heard of broken heart syndrome? It’s a real medical phenomenon where sometimes grief can literally cause heart failure. Maybe something similar could happen with your alpha, a sort of rare but not unheard of thing after loosing her pack. Since the pack is just doing other things and there was nothing traumatic about it as far as I can tell, this seems unlikely. Now for the emotional side of things, again, I don’t know her personality or the details of the pack joining another pack, but I think she would try to be happy for her former pack and deal with any sadness privately. Wether she does this in a healthy way or not is another matter.

2.) again, I generally don’t subscribe to the idea that something like this would have a physical effect, except in rare cases. However, with her history and already dealing with her pack moving on, I can see her being one of the rare cases, especially if she perceived the rejection as intentional or outright hostile. I think she mostly be dealing with a deep sense of loneliness though.

3.) and once again I don’t subscribe to rejection or loss usually having a physical effect except in rare cases. However, I can see this character absolutely being that rare exception, especially if she’s already ill or if she’s dealing with hormones from rut on top of everything else. I imagine it’s treatable in most cases, whatever it is, but for whatever reason she doesn’t get it treated right away. Maybe she feels she deserves it or maybe the treatment would interfere with racing somehow. For maximum angst, I imagine her not doing well in the race and then everyone is upset and she just collapses and they rush her to the hospital where they find out her condition is now critical.

I hope this helped, and never worry about sending too long an ask, I love answering questions 💕

#a/b/o headcannons #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o #omegaverse #female alpha

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thosearentcrimes · 3 years

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Ok so let me start this with saying that I don’t necessarily think any of my followers are confused about this, nor do I think most people are mistaken when they mess this up - they are speaking for rhetorical effect and not for accuracy, in the same way gender pay gap statistics are sometimes used in statistically incorrect and misleading ways. Nonetheless, I decided to write this, to clear stuff up with myself as much as anything else. Math was easy for me until it wasn’t, and while life expectancy was relatively simple for me to understand, perhaps for others it is not, and if so I hope that I can help.

Life expectancy stats do not mean what the vast majority of statements concerning them would suggest. There is a very important distinction to be made between life expectancy and life expectancy at birth, between predictive and historical life expectancy, and it must be understood that these statistics are necessarily averaged out over a particular category of persons. For predictive life expectancy, assuming our statistical expectations are correct, the average lifespan of any particular cohort will be their life expectancy at birth. We can only base these statistical expectations on limited information. Unexpected catastrophes and medical advances can shift the actual lifespan in unpredictable ways, which is a problem for a predictive statistic. Historical life expectancy is only uncertain because of our lack of knowledge of the past, because as soon as every member of a particular cohort is dead (which takes over a century, mind you) their average age at time of death can no longer change.

Life expectancy rises over time. I don’t mean in the sense that there has been a tendency over the past couple centuries or so in various parts of the world at various times to have quite dramatic increases in life expectancy, primarily due to improvements in healthcare, though this is of course true (it is also true that in particular places life expectancy has dropped at various points in this same time-span). I mean in the sense that the life expectancy of a 22 year old is, on average (and the average is really all there is in life expectancy, remember) a fair bit higher than their life expectancy at birth was, because of their failure to die over those 22 years (unless, of course, they have died, in which case their life expectancy is n/a). In societies where infant mortality is low, where violent death is uncommon, where accidents are rare, and where disease is mostly treatable, life expectancy rises relatively slowly, but it does rise nonetheless. As such, it is statistically incorrect for people to count their likely remaining lifespan by subtracting their current age from their life expectancy at birth. Of course, because the life expectancy at any given age is buried in actuarial tables and life expectancy at birth is a demographic statistic that most people are taught in schools, people default to using the statistic they know, and I’m not against it, I just think people should know that it’s inaccurate when they’re doing it.

The second reasonably common misunderstanding of life expectancy, though on this one I think people are generally better informed, is the notorious ~25-35 year life expectancy that we believe lasted for most of history. I feel like people usually know that this primarily reflects a very high rate of infant mortality, and only secondarily high mortality in adulthood, but I have encountered people who seemed at the very least confused about the full implications of this. Because life expectancy rises over time, a medieval peasant who made it to 15 most likely had several solid decades ahead of them even if their life expectancy at birth was only 30 or so, because they had already failed to die a relatively large number of times in infancy, as in the previous paragraph. Now, obviously, they could still die before or at the age of 30 for any number of reasons (the middle ages sucked, a lot), but they were in pretty good shape, statistically. Medieval graveyards were for the most part not littered with the corpses of 30 year olds in the prime of their lives. This means that these societies had far more elderly people in them than an uninformed perusal of the life expectancy at birth would indicate. If we want to get inaccurate about it for rhetorical purposes, with a life expectancy of 30 years, a child that dies before its first birthday is compensated for statistically by someone else living to 60.

I feel like people are typically not given significantly more statistical education than being shown a bell curve (Gaussian/normal distribution) and possibly told what the difference between a mean and a median is (note: life expectancy is calculated as a mean, not a median, though it would of course be possible to establish a median life expectancy). There are two basic models for the distribution of death over age, one with high infant mortality and one without. In the former, the death rate is high initially, then relatively stable and low for a long time, and then a good length of time after the life expectancy at birth, rises rapidly. In the latter, the death rate is stable and low for a long time, and then starts rising rapidly quite close to life expectancy at birth. Neither model fits a normal distribution at all, but it’s the only statistical interpretation of a distribution around a mean most people will have been taught, and so they will often reflexively apply it, even when it doesn’t necessarily a0pply.

Irrelevant note just because I hate neophrenologists: there is no particular reason that I am aware of to believe intelligence, if it is a meaningful concept, follows a bell curve. IQ mostly does, because IQ is fit to the bell curve, but even if IQ does measure intelligence that would still not imply that intelligence is normally distributed. It is an attribute of the method of score assignment and not of the measured quantity.

#pedantry #statistics #fuck Charles Murray in particular

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miss-smrxtiee · 3 years

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-Vacationing with Distance-

Ch.4 - frustration & ice cream.

Open Heart AU

Ethan x F!Mc (Eliana Valentine)

Ch. Summary: Ethan’s trip makes its second stop and Bryce and Eliana have their first checkup. Will the baby be healthy or will Eliana’s health take a turn for the worst?

Warnings: Pregnancy, illness.

A/N: I hope you all enjoy chapter 4 of VWD! I’m really sorry it took so long I’m working a lot on new fanfictions and this got pushed back but it’s here now and I hope you enjoy! -Sol

-Masterlist- (other chapters are here!)

***

“Now Landing in San Francisco, California. Thank you for choosing Delta Airlines.” The flight attendant’s voice rings out through the plane as people start collecting their things. Ethan takes his personal belongings and lays them inside his carry-on before grabbing his phone to shoot a quick text.

Ethan: Hey E, we just landed for our second stop, I haven’t heard from you in a bit and I really miss your voice. I’m gonna call you when we get checked in ❤️

Ethan lets out a frustrated sigh, she had her read replies off so he had no way of knowing if she was actually seeing his messages.

Ethan and Naveen get up out of their seats and make their way down the cramped isle. Harper had an unexpected emergency at the hospital with one of her patients who needed a surgery from her as soon as possible, so she ultimately cut her time on the trip short.

Wish I could could just leave too...

“Ethan, hurry!” Ethan heard Naveen call from the exit of the plane. Ethan runs a hand through his hair before following Naveen out.

_____———_____——-______——-____

“I’m sorry to say but, you have gestational diabetes.”

“Oh nononono” Eliana paced around the room while Bryce tried to calm her down

“Diabetes?”

The doctor nods.

Meanwhile, Eliana’s mind is running a thousand miles a second...

I’m pregnant, I’m actually pregnant! I have to get medical attention now, great. Me and Ethan had never talked about kids... I don’t even know if he wants kids! WAIT! What if he doesn’t want to have kids!?! I’m so dead. If I call him he’s gonna know...

“Eliana? Hellooo! Earth to Dr. Valentine!”

She hangs her head in defeat.

“Gestational diabetes is a very common diabetes found in pregnant women.” The doctor explained.

“Will she be okay?” Bryce asked. He didn’t know a lot of terms for pregnant women, he was a surgeon after all.

“I assure you, it’s very treatable. You do need to keep your blood sugar in check which might be the hard part.”

“Don’t tell me...” Eliana started.

She gives a sad smile and nods.

Needle pricking...

“Here is your portable machine that detects the levels of your blood sugar, you need to do this 2 to 3 times a day, preferably 10 minutes or so after a meal, but that part is not one-hundred percent necessary.”

“Meds?”

The doctor nods and hands over a prescription paper. They go over the antibiotics for treatment and eventually leave the room to schedule another appointment. They give their thanks and goodbyes and find themselves driving in complete silence a few minutes later.

“Soooo...” Bryce begins. “Eliana, you need to tell Ethan. Everyday that goes by is hurting the baby, you need to stop stressing.”

“I know.” She sighs. “I want to hold off for a few more stops on his trip. He needs to do this, and I don’t want to pull him out of it. He would be able to do so much good with making hospital alliances and discovering the newest medical treatments. I don’t want to ruin that for him or the hospital.”

Bryce agreed it would be beneficial for the hospital but at the risk of Eliana going through this whole pregnancy alone without Ethan, worried him.

I mean she had him, but he wasn’t the father, Ethan was and he deserved to know he was having a child.

The rest of the car ride is silent. Bryce didn’t completely agree with her way of thinking about everything. But it’s not his place to tell Ethan something as big as a pregnancy. That should come from Eliana.

Suddenly, Eliana’s phone lights up. She quickly hides it and he furrows his brows at her.

“E, Don’t tell me you’re ignoring Ethan...”

She doesn’t respond and he lets out a sigh. This could be very bad for both of them. Bryce gives her a death stare and she slumps her shoulders.

“I don’t know what to say without blurting out I have basically pregnancy diabetes, let alone that I’m pregnant in the first place.” She looked so vulnerable and tired in that moment, Bryce knew he had to convince her to at least call him. Baby steps. He thought.

“Can you at least call him when you get back? He’s probably worried sick by now.” He pleased and she sighed.

“I’ll do it once, I don’t know how well I’ll do with keeping the baby from him. But I’ll try.” She replied shifting lanes onto the highway.

“Thank you.” He briefly said before shifting the radio channel and Eliana’s favorite song pops up and she smiled, bopping her head to the beat of Backyard Boy.

“-Backyard boyyy, lookin’ super fine in a corduroy! Drive around the block, we can go in a loop!” She smiles while lip syncing and Bryce joined her. She exited the highway and drives down before reaching the apartment complex Bryce stayed at. He turns back to her after grabbing his things.

“Hey, please call him when you get back...” he stared intently at her and she nodded before flashing him a smile and a small wave as he turns to leave. She lets out a sigh before turning out the parking lot and making her way down the partly busy street.

She tried to put together a conversation in her head that she could use when she contacted Ethan. He knew her to well and would practically see right through her in any situation where she was stressed, sad, or angry and the conversation wouldn’t be the easiest.

Oh yeah hey Babe, yeah I just wanted to let you know that I’m pregnant and stuff heh, oh and I’m almost 2 and a half months along and have a disease to go with it because I’m not taking care of myself.. He would probably be so mad at her. She did feel bad for not returning his calls or texts,

Ugh is hopeless. she thought before shifting lanes once again and rolling into their condo a moment later. She ran her fingers through her hair and walks inside grabbing her phone from her purse.

Here goes nothing... she hits the call button on Ethan’s contact. After a few rings he picks up

“Eliana! Where have you been?! I’ve been trying to call you for the longest time!” Ethan said through the speaker.

“Hey, I’m okay, things have been really busy with patients and cases at the hospital and I’ve just been sleeping a working mostly. I really miss you though and I’m sorry I haven’t talked.” That wasn’t a lie. she thought.

“I got seriously worried! I just about called Bryce to check on you!” He sounded frustrated and her own pregnancy hormones weren’t helping the situation.

“I said I’m sorry! I’m perfectly fine, jeez.” She retorted and he let out a annoyed sigh on the other side of the line.

“Just.. ugh, text me or something when you won’t be available to talk.” His voice was tired and angry.

“What’s up with you?” She arched a brow.

“What’s up with you!” He replied, clearly reaching his breaking point. “I tried calling you ten times Eliana! And God knows how many times I texted you! The least you can do is say goodnight or good morning to let me know you are ok!”

Eliana was starting to get mad.

“I said, I was busy. Sorry I can’t devote my very breathing second to you mr. grumpy pants.” She growled back and quickly hung up before plopping down on her couch, longingly staring at the freezer which contained her secret ice cream stash. She picked up her box and took out the instructions for her needle pricking, she already knew how to do it but she wanted to be sure...

for the baby.

Ethan

He lets out a frustrated sigh as the call abruptly ends. He walks over to the bed in his hotel room, laying down on his back staring up at the ceiling, he hated being away from her. He thought something was wrong but maybe she just was really busy and tired...

Two days later...

Eliana yawned as she stepped out of her car, grabbing her bag a second later. She was headed into her morning shift at Edenbrook. She knew she needed to go on maternity leave soon because of her high stress levels in relation to work, but she couldn’t let Ethan know yet. Eliana was still frustrated with Ethan for being so overprotective, she still loved him but long distance was never a strong suit.

Bryce walks up to her as soon as she steps inside.

“Did you talk?” He asked with his brow quirked.

“Good morning to you too.” She mocks back.

“I’m serious E.”

“...yes.”

“And? Elaborate.” he requested

A sigh escaped her and she just slumped, she knew she wasn’t going to win an argument against him so why try..

“We...we got in a fight, I didn’t tell him about... ya know.” She gestured to her stomach while she spoke and Bryce just shook his head.

“You gotta do this at some point, you’re going to end up hurting you and the baby. And I know I’ve said it a million times but that doesn’t make it any less true for you. You heard what the doctor said!”

She just shook her head and balled her fists.

“I’m not going to stop Ethan from flourishing while he’s away! This is an amazing opportunity for him! I know it was last minute for us and that I need to slow down I just... I just can’t do that to him Bryce, I love him to much to be the reason he’s held back.” She looked beat, depressed, stressed...

“Well I’m absolutely not helping unless you tell him Eliana!!” Bryce was fed up himself.

“Fine! Go then!” She exclaimed, grabbing the attention of a few nurses nearby who just started whispering softly to each other before Eliana shot them a look causing them to scram.

When she turned her attention back to Bryce, he was already walking away from her with annoyance radiating off of him.

“Great..” she sighed before walking away...

***

Thank you all for reading!

Tag squad- I’m honestly so confused on my tags rn so if you do not want to be tagged then just lmk! -Sol

I @choicesstan1 I @gryffindordaughterofathena I @rookie-ramsey I @kinkypot I @drariellevalentine I @theinvisibledreamergirl I @fluffy-marshmallow-heart I @rookieoh I @vampireblissblog I @itsjustamesshonestly I @kaavyaethanramsey I @ohchoices I @ramsey-lahela I @monsoonblooms12 I @aestheticartsx I @pixie88 I @mrs-raleighcarrera I @romewritingshop I @ezekielbhandarivalleros I @vampireblissblog I @herarmoredheart I

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chocolatedutchthehoe · 3 years

Text

Another Diamond Day.

TW: Cancer, Mentions of death.

—————————————————

The sun peeked through my sheer curtains as I laid flat on my bed reaching above me. It’s rays kissed my eyelids, the tenderness of warmth lingered on my cheek and I smiled into its warmth. I don’t get this feeling often.

Its unexplainable.

This feeling, much like motivation, is fleeting. Some days I let it slip through the tiniest crack of my fingers. Other days The aches in my body melt away over night as I wake with purpose. I uncover myself from my soft linens and sit up allowing my feet to dangle freely over my plush white rug.

I take in the warmth of the sun, the smile set on my face for the day. I yawned loudly, standing and opening the large window in front of me and breathing in deeply the cool crisp air.

I don’t get many days like this but when I do I feel it through my body. I feel light, airy, as if if I jumped just a little bit my body would simply float above the satin covers sprawled across my bed.

I sat back down reaching behind me to touch the only tangible thing in my bed other than my covers. My body followed my arms as I laid back, I caressed his upper left thigh with my hand and laid my head on his stomach. The rise and fall of his toned abdomen made me feel like just my head was on a boat floating ever so softly up and down a small tide.

He sucked in a deep breath finally waking up before reaching above himself and stretching then bringing his fingers back down and playing in my tree rooted like Locs. Twisting the fully closed ends in between his pointer and thumb before slowly making his way up to my freely new hair.

“You have to re-twist it soon right?”

I chuckled a little.

“Its retighten and yes baby I do. But I will do it after my appointment.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“I know you are you weren’t gonna let me go without you anyway..”

I stared at the ceiling as silence filled the room.

“Are you scared..”

It was more of a statement then a question. But Dom was mostly asking himself.

“No... I’m prepared.”

I stood where I once was before he woke and rounded our bed to his side. Taking his hand in mine and leading him to the our connected on sweet bathroom.

We washed out bodies together; the water from the shower head above rushed from our heads to our toes. He watched me under tired lids. The lazy smile he stretched across his face. I couldn’t help but trace his chest with my fingers. We stood, For what seemed like hours, in each others presence was merely fifteen minutes as we took turns washing our bodies we couldn’t help but love each other in the process. Even if it was for just a moment just to take our mind off of the task we had to

Overcome today.

He stepped out first drying himself feverishly as I stayed under the water that has now turned cold. The fog from

Our heat escaped the bathroom as he opened the door to the bedroom. I gave it a few seconds letting the cold water run down my neck and chest before turning it off and following in pursuit.

We dressed comfortably. I wore my shirred beige backless hemmed dress with white sandals and he matched with his light brown slacks and white turtle neck. We bonded in the kitchen making our favorites for breakfasts. French toast with bananas, sweet sausage and eggs with a side of chopped fruit.

I like tea.. He likes coffee. I like the smell of coffee... He claims he doesn’t think teas have a smell. I smile to myself at the arguments we have about whether they do or don’t.

It’s the first day of spring, although the sun is out it was still chilly.

“Don’t forget your jacket.”

I rolled my eyes with my back facing him and my right hand on our front doorknob.

“I don’t think it’s that cold outside.”

I tried to convince with no luck. He sucked his teeth making his way to our coat closet and pulling out both our jackets.

“You don’t ever think it’s ‘That Cold’, Alana.”

He took my hand in his as he led me down the hallway, to the elevator and down to the garage to the car. We walked in unison towards his truck, both rounding to the passenger side. He opened the door and I took the passenger seat as he shut my door and rounded to the drivers side.

We drove in a comfortable silence. The stereo playing a random FM radio and his hand clasped over mine on the center console. The streets were quiet as if the day was made for us. No traffic, no loud noise from impatient drivers slamming their fist on the center of their wheel and screaming out their window. The trees were green, vibrant and lively. Although today was the first day of spring it’s has been warm for weeks with slight rain showers allowing the plants of all different shapes and sizes bloom freely.

The people on the side walks walked with purpose as the sun followed us to our destination. I opened the sunroof, The breeze was warm I could feel it on every part of my skin as it blew through my locs and tickled the top of my head. My doctors office wasn’t far but I know Dom took the longer routs just to waste time. Finally pulling into the parking lot. He stepped out first from the parked car and I Waited for him to make his way to my side as he always made me do. ‘Don’t touch my door.’ Was what he always told me. He grabbed ahold of my hand with his left as his right hand held the door open. The wind once again embraced me, it flew past my covered arms, giving me goosebumps, and dipped between my legs lifting my dress. We walked once again hand in hand into the large brick building. Patients, Doctors, Nurses, and other medical staff filled the large common area seemingly wandering aimlessly although I knew they had an agenda.

The secretary gave us directions to outpatient. When we arrived I signed myself in and got my blood pressure taken. We sat in the waiting room listening to the chiming bells and awaiting a nurse to announce my name.

His large fingers danced in my open palm as we watched whatever they had on their main television. A few minutes have gone by since we’ve been seated and I rested my head on his shoulder trying to stay awake.

“Alana Cole.”

my head lifted in response as the nurse smiled from the door way ushering us through. We followed her to an empty office and before she turned to leave she smiled again.

“Dr. Andrews will be in with you in a moment.” She shut the door.

We sat in silence, something that seemed to be in a common repetition for us today. But I could tell this silence more than the others. It was tense. Dom bounced his left leg nervously and roughly massaged my left hand. The weight of the world was on his shoulders for some reason. He breathed heavily and ever time he exhaled he pursed his lips like he wanted to whistle, blowing his cheeks out. I rested my right hand over his eager ones.

“Calm down baby.” I caressed his cheek taking my free hand turning his head away from the door where he stared waiting for the doctor.

I kissed him softly hopefully taking his mind off the inevitable that was sure to come. Even if it was for just a moment.

The doctor entered. Dom stood shaking his hand. I mimicked to not seem rude although it wouldn’t have made a difference.

“How are you guys this morning?”

He asked unease though he tried not to show it.

“We’re doing okay. A little timid if I’m being honest.”

Dom answered. He was scared.

“Well let’s not waste time then.” Dr. Andrews stood, pulling an image from a file folder with my name labeled on it. He attached it to a white board with an LED light on it to see more clearly.

“As you can see here we are in the early stages of Three. Which is a little further than what we were hoping for as far as surgery goes. The tumor has spread from the lower muscular tissue on the left side of you brain down to your left shoulder and c-v in your spine. That’s where the tightness and soreness you were talking about come in. It is still treatable with some chemo radiation therapy.”

“How early can we start therapy?” Dom jumped to the edge of his seat.

He and Dr. Andrews pondered through treatment strategies. I couldn’t help but fall into my own diseased mind. Their voices faded away as I took in my surroundings...

More importantly Dom’s face. His dark curly hair that contrasted perfect with his light brown eyes. The specs of green the surrounded the edges of his iris. His smooth brown skin was Arguably lighter than mine as I spent more Time Outside then he did. His chiseled jaw was perfectly even and his beard connected from his hair line to the end of his chin. He was always so clean shaven. His eyes curved down like a falling crescent moon. And he had the nose bridge of a Nubian prince. His smile was a bright as th-

“How does that sound Ms.Cole..”

Breaking away from my thoughts I smiled at him. I didn’t hear a word he said but did it really matter.

“If I don’t go through with treatment how long would you estimate my time.”

“Oh I’m-. we would have plenty of time if we started this week.“

“If we didn’t?”

“Alana he’s saying we can start trea-“

“I heard what he said baby.... I just want to know.”

The doctor pondered.

“I would estimate roughly eight- ten months if you refuse treatment..”

I nodded understandingly. Picking up my purse and going to shake his hand once again.

“Alana the chances of chemo going well outweighs anything else. And once we are able to shrink the tumor to a manageable size surgery would be just as easy. I would like you to take it into consideration.”

I knodded again holding his one large hand in both of my small ones.

“Thank you.”

I looked back at Dominic expecting my stance to be a signal to him to follow but he seemed to be still processing my choice.

“Dom let’s go.”

he stood from his chair, still dazed by the conversation that happened mere seconds ago, and walked towards the doctor shaking his hand with begging eyes.

“You two have a wander full day.”

We made our way back to the car. The sun was higher in the sky, the heat more prominent. The rays hit our faces as we walked towards the parking lot. I was a foot

In front of him. He treaded slowly behind me but his long legs didn’t allow him to fall far behind. I reached the truck before Dom waiting for him to open the door. He stopped just a hair before me and squinted up at the sky. He took my small hand in his and held on fully as apposed to me holding his pointer and middle. And squeezed . He pulled me

Into him and held me longingly. Kissing the my forehead like it was the first time we were meeting after years of separation but at the same time like we were parting again.

“I love you.” He whispered to the top of my head.

“I love you more...”

“You can be so selfish sometimes...”

He continued. Tears stained his face, falling in pattern onto my forehead and down my face.

“How do you manage, with so much love around you, how do you manage to be so selfish Alana.”

He was angry though he didn’t let go. I was dying and there was nothing he could Do about it.

‘How could I love him and do this to him.’ Is what he wanted to say.

I don’t know how. So I kept quiet.

He wasted no time reaching behind me and opening my door. I sat down and he closed the door roughly trying not to slam it. He made his way to the drivers side.

I watched as he started the engine and put the car into reverse. He tried not to look at me. For the first time I couldn’t tell what he held in his eyes. The mixed emotions that swirled in his golden iris’s were clouded by tears he refused to let fall.

Sitting forward he put the car in drive and clasped his hand over mine on the center console. The drive back home was hotter and the radio played louder to void what would have been an uncomfortable silence.

I don’t get many days like this but when I do I feel it through my body. I feel light, airy, as if if I jumped just a little bit my body would simply float. I didn’t want to ruin it.

#Love #black #black woman #black man #Sage #SageTheGemini #couple #sad #aesthetic #BlackLive #BLM

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darlingandmreames · 3 years

Note

Babe— the contagion kidnapping scene with Arthur and Eames, pretty please 🥺

And the contagion au continues! Sorry for the delay, I got distracted by the gangster au lol, but here’s some concerned Arthur with a side of pining! This yet again ended up longer than I intended but oh well... I absolutely did not mean for this au to become A Thing, but I’m honestly absolutely loving the fact that it has knskjdfjk

*******************************************************************************************

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t let you in. Same as I told you before: you aren’t authorized.”

“Really?” Arthur kept his voice even and measured, but made no attempt to keep the anger out of it; he’d long learned that anger was far more intimidating and effective when it was quiet and controlled. “And what, if I may ask, makes me unauthorized?”

“Well, you’re a civilian, sir, and…”

“I am not just a civilian. I am a WHO representative trying to respond to a public health crisis that your superiors called me in to address and I need access to my colleague if I’m going to effectively do that. My colleague, who you,” he let his tone get even more pointed, “currently have in a back room and are not allowing to see anyone despite the fact that he has done nothing wrong and is unambiguously the victim in this situation.” He leaned forward just slightly. Not enough to be threatening, but enough to make a point. “I’m sure your superiors will be thrilled to hear the explanation for this.”

The officer hesitated a moment, looking around, before buzzing the door open. “O-of course, sir. My apologies.”

Arthur walked through without another word. He was sure Cobb would chew him out for that if it got back to him- he admittedly likely didn’t have the authorization to be back here, and that might ruffle a few feathers that were better left unruffled- but he didn’t particularly care at the moment. He’d deal with that if it came up. Right now he had other things to worry about.

This should’ve been an easy case; cholera outbreaks were messy but it was an easily treatable disease as long as they could get medications disseminated quickly and early. That was its own set of problems, of course, but this should’ve been relatively simple compared to the other sorts of cases they worked. But then Eames had gone radio silent, which was unusual for him. He was the media and administrative liaison, he was never silent. But there’d been nothing. No word, no explanation, no replies, nothing. Then, about 6 hours after he’d gone quiet, the local police had reached out to WHO regarding a ransom demand they’d received.

Kidnappings of WHO field personnel weren't exactly common but they weren't unheard of either; sometimes it was for treatments or medications, sometimes it was for money. This time it was for both. Arthur knew a number of teams who’d had a team member kidnapped or almost kidnapped at some point but this was the first time it’d happened on his team, and their job could certainly be stressful but this had been a whole new kind of anxiety. One he’d be perfectly happy to never deal with again. The past three days had been a mess of trying to address the cholera outbreak spreading through Nairobi's slums like wildfire while also waiting on any word regarding Eames’ whereabouts or safety. Arthur’d rushed to the station as soon as Cobb had called him letting him know that the police had found Eames, dropping what he’d been working on immediately. It could wait until later; Eames couldn’t. After three days of his mind running through the worst case scenarios on repeat, Arthur needed to know he was alright.

The main room of the police station was busy, officers hurrying to and fro across the floor, escorting criminals or carrying files or just looking determined and stressed. It took Arthur a moment to parse through the chaos to find Eames sitting on a worn looking couch that’d been shoved to the side of the room, out of the way. He hurried over, anxiety growing in his chest; he hadn’t thought he could be any more worried than he’d already been, but the sight of Eames’ black eye and what looked like blood on his shirt proved him wrong. “Eames!”

Eames looked up with a tired smile. “Hey, darling. Fancy seeing you here.”

Arthur sat down next to him, reaching out and tilting Eames’ face toward him to try and get a better look. “Jesus, are you alright? Are you injured?”

“I’m fine, love, just a bit tired is all.” He gave Arthur an amused look. “I’m surprised they let you back here.”

“Pretty sure I’m not supposed to be,” Arthur muttered, still focused on trying to figure out whether Eames was injured. His black eye and some minor cuts and bruises seemed to be the extent of things, but the stain on his shirt was definitely blood now that Arthur could see it better and that did nothing to make him feel any less worried. “Managed to talk my way back though.”

Eames chuckled. “You mean you intimidated the poor guy at the front desk until he let you back even though he wasn’t supposed to.”

“Maybe.” Arthur shrugged slightly. “I got fed up with waiting for them to get their shit together. You’re the fucking victim here, not some sort of criminal. You shouldn’t even be at the police station. You should be at the hospital getting checked out.”

“Paramedics checked me out on scene, I’m fine. I’ll look a bit banged up for a few days, but that’s the worst of it.” Eames raised an eyebrow. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were maybe worried about me.”

Arthur frowned. “Of course I was worried about you. Been worried since you dropped off the face of the earth three days ago.” He was mostly convinced that Eames wasn’t seriously injured by now, but he still didn’t look great. Even outside of the black eye and minor cuts, he was covered in dirt and there was dried blood smeared across his cheek. The sight of it sent another stab of anxiety through his chest, mixed with anger. This should never have happened. “I should’ve known something was up when you stopped answering my texts. You usually never shut up.”

Eames laughed slightly. “You’re so friendly, Arthur, really. So warm and flattering.”

“It’s part of my charm.” Arthur’s frown deepened. He understood that the police couldn’t let Eames leave until they’d taken his statement, but they should’ve at least given him the chance to clean up if they were going to make him sit around for hours. He looked around briefly until he spotted a pack of water bottles on the floor near one of the counters. Eames watched him with a confused look as he got up and grabbed one, grabbing a box of tissues off one of the desks as he walked back. The officer at the desk either didn’t notice or didn’t care, and Arthur didn’t really care either way; after the shit show the past few days had been, they could spare some tissues and water. He sat back down on the couch, opening the bottle. “Come here.”

Eames looked at him, confused. “What are you…” He sighed as Arthur wet a few tissues, understanding dawning on his face, and he gave him a somewhat incredulous look. “Seriously, Arthur?”

“Yes, you’re an absolute mess. Now come here.”

Eames sighed again in resignation and moved closer. “I can clean myself up, you know. And it’d be easier to just wait until I’m back at the hotel.”

“Given how things have been going, it’ll be hours before they take your statement and let you leave. You shouldn’t have to sit around covered in dirt and blood until then.” He wiped at the dirt on Eames’ forehead gently. “And you don’t have a mirror, so it’s less of a hassle if I just do it.”

“Alright, alright, no need to get pushy about it,” Eames chuckled again. “Just pointing it out is all.”

He sat patiently as Arthur wiped away the grime, careful not to be too rough. Arthur’d hoped he’d look better cleaner, but he somehow managed to look worse. Without the dirt there to cover things up his black eye stood out more and Arthur could see the dark circles under his other eye; he looked like he’d barely slept over the past few days. Arthur certainly wouldn’t be surprised if that was actually the case. His lip was badly cut too, badly enough that Arthur was surprised he hadn’t needed stitches. Another wave of concern slammed into Arthur’s chest, the intensity of it catching him off guard. He knew their job was dangerous, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this. The danger was supposed to be from diseases, from viruses and bacteria and parasites, and Arthur could plan for those. They could be figured out and once they were figured out they could be predicted. People, though- people were unpredictable. They could be violent and cruel, often without rhyme or reason, and the thought of Eames being held somewhere, being threatened or hurt or killed, had kept him up since he’d found out Eames was missing in the first place. Even now it was enough to make him pause, taking a deep breath to steady himself. “I really was worried about you, Eames. Really worried.”

“I’m alright, darling, no need to worry about me. I’m fine, I-I…” Eames’ voice cracked just a little, expression shifting ever so slightly, and Arthur saw it. The exhaustion, the fear, the relief, all of it just below the surface, hidden under his smile. Eames dealt with cameras and the media and had the best poker face of anyone Arthur had ever met, but sometimes it slipped. Just every once in a while. Just now. “I just need some sleep, that’s all.”

Arthur ran his thumb gently across Eames’ cheek, tracing the bottom of the bruise around his eye. “Doesn't make me any less worried.” Eames almost seemed to lean into the touch, and Arthur felt some of the tightness in his chest relax finally. It was alright. Eames was alright. He was okay. Arthur took another breath. "I'm glad you're safe." They stayed like that a moment longer before it occurred to Arthur how close they were. He pulled his hand back, clearing his throat awkwardly. His face suddenly felt warm and he looked down, hoping to hide how red he was sure his face was getting. "You, um, you at least look a bit better now that you're cleaned up." It was a lie, but he had to say something and it was the only thing that came to mind.

"Right. Yeah, thanks for that." Eames sat back against the couch, sounding just as uncomfortable as Arthur felt. After a moment of awkward silence, he motioned to the still mostly full bottle of water on the small table in front of them. "You know, you probably could've just filled up a cup from the sink. No need to waste an entire bottle."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Eames, we're here for a cholera outbreak, I am not using tap water. For anything. And I'm definitely not using tap water to clean open cuts."

Eames laughed and the awkwardness began to fade. "Okay, fair enough. Still feel bad though."

Arthur leaned forward and picked the bottle up, handing it to Eames. "Then drink the rest of it. You're probably dehydrated anyways."

"Isn't that how cholera kills you? Dehydration?"

"In severe cases, yes." He gave Eames an amused look. "All the more reason to make sure you're not dehydrated. We don't need any more incidents on this case. One is more than enough."

"Yes, Dr. Cohen." Eames took a drink, chuckling.

Arthur leaned back against the cushions, raising his eyebrows. "Dr. Cohen, really? You only ever call me that when you think I'm being annoying."

"It's a miracle I refer to you by anything else then, darling."

"Fuck off." Arthur tried unsuccessfully to suppress a smile. "I'm just trying to look out for you."

"I know, love." Eames’ voice was softer and less teasing than Arthur expected. “I appreciate it.”

Eames shifted, his shoulder coming to rest against Arthur’s slightly. Arthur considered moving away- things had been awkward enough before, he didn’t need to make it worse- but decided against it after a moment. Instead he settled back into the couch; they’d probably be here a while before the police were willing to let Eames leave, so he might as well get comfortable. The contact, slight as it was, was admittedly nice, and as he stared out at the bustle of the room around them Arthur felt himself relax slightly more, the anxiety and worry of the past few days slowly dissipating at the feeling of Eames sitting next to him. And when he felt a gentle weight on his shoulder a few minutes later and looked over to find Eames’ head resting against it, his eyes closed and breathing slow and regular, he just smiled. He shifted ever so slightly so that Eames was resting against him at a less awkward looking angle and a soft warmth spread in his chest, overtaking the concern that was still resting there. Cobb would almost definitely yell at him for the stunt he pulled to get back here, but it was worth it. He hesitated briefly before resting his cheek on top of Eames’ head, ignoring the heat in his face in favour of the warmth in his chest. Yeah, it was worth it.

#arthur x eames #arthur/eames #dream husbands #dreamhusbands #contagion au #I figure I should probably just give it its own tag by this point aksjsfdk #prompts #asks #dbakeiro #inception #local trash goblin writes stuff #local trash goblin speaks

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hermitcraftheadcanons · 4 years

Text

The first thing you notice is the bite. It stings, throbs, bleeds. It's not a clean wound, not like a minor bite from a dog or cat. Not a few neat little punctures, or some gashes that would at least stitch up neatly. No. It's an ugly rip, the torn flesh from blunt teeth that are not and never were designed for biting. It's still startling how the human's muscles are powerful enough to bite through skin like that anyway. Strong enough to rip out a chunk, if you got snagged in a soft, tender place.

The next thing you notice is the infection. If you're lucky, you can use some precious water to wash off the bite and some gauze to wrap it, but most people aren't so lucky. Most have to rely on strips of acceptably dirty, sweaty fabric from old clothes, if they can even spare that much. Most don't want to "waste" a resource as precious as clean, drinkable water. So infection sets in fast and hard. Within a few days, your wound is a stinking, oozing mess. It's painful. Painful to look at, painful to touch, painful to move. It's swollen as your body desperately tries to fight the concoction of bacteria introduced from being bitten by a decomposing mouth. Then it itches. It itches madly. It itches so much you won't be able to sleep. It itches so bad that if you stop focusing on it, you'll find a surge of new pain as you've absently scratched it and started to bleed again, so you have to keep thinking about how badly you should never scratch the itch. Maybe you'll have a raw spot, where you've been tricking your mind into relief by scratching just above the wound. You might even have dug new cuts into your flesh, more wounds to host infection, more places to sting with pain.

The itching is the virus taking hold, but you don't know that.

All you know is that you have a swollen, itchy, stinking bite.

Next comes from the infection. You'll start to get a fever. Your bite will swell more, and feel hot. But mostly, you get a fever. Nobody feels good then. You'll switch between being far too hot to freezing cold, you'll sweat in a tank top in the middle of the night or you'll shiver under as many layers as you could possibly procure. You'll get nauseous, so you won't want to eat or drink, leading to more nausea as you dehydrate. As it progresses, you'll feel weaker. It might be harder to breathe normally, you might even feel your heart racing as you sit still. Even just a ten minute walk will exhaust you, but your group has to keep moving. As it goes on, you'll find it harder to keep your grasp on reality. The pain, the nausea, the smell, the weakness, it all blends into one as the virus takes its hold in your mind.

Oh, yeah. It's now when the virus kicks into action, having made it to your brain. Maybe you were taking care of yourself, and the infection actually hadn't gotten that bad through sheer luck and winning the biological lottery. But now the virus has made it to its destination. The first thing it does is impair your immune system. After all, it can't have you fighting it off. It doesn't want you healthy. If you're healthy, things get complicated. That natural system has to go, so away it goes. If you were sick, you'll suddenly find yourself getting sicker.

Next, it overrides your appetite. Maybe you were just craving crackers and water, maybe you didn't want anything, maybe you ate through the nausea just fine. It changes that. Subtly, day by day, it makes you feel hungrier and hungrier. The kind of hunger that sits in your belly and gnaws at your bones from the inside. It's also an unnatural craving for meat. Fresh meat, red, straight from the bone. Still warm, still flowing with life. You'll be able to smell your friends now, or the recent tracks of others if you're alone. Of course, you've always been able to smell them, but it got filed away into your subconscious. But now you're aware of it, because that virus tells you it's important. And they will smell decadent.

It's all the virus, scrambling your neurons to connect hunger and appetite to humans instead of a plate of cookies, cake, fruit, veggies and juicy steak, mashed potatoes and meaty stew, anything you used to enjoy. It will change how you taste. Sweets will stick to your throat, bitters are more bitter, and if you're lucky to have a nice plate of steak, that fresh-grilled meat will taste rotten. What you crave is no longer any real sustenance, your mind has been altered. Now, you won't see a warm hand to hold, because the sight of bare, moving skin activates your salivary glands. The urge to sink your teeth into the soft flesh on a wrist or neck will be overwhelming in the blur of sickness from the infection. And if you do actually bite, especially if you taste blood, the virus will reward you. It'll flood your system with dopamine, and afterwards, for just a few moments, the edge of that hunger will release. It hopes you'll get addicted. It wants you to crave more biting, more flesh, because it feels right, because maybe, just maybe, if you eat enough the hunger will finally go away.

Finally, it'll change your sense of fear as well. Dangerous situations that instinctively make humans nervous won't affect you. If anything, you'll crave the rush that deadly moments give you, the rush of feeling real and grounded in the midst of the foggy world from the mess in your system. Just fourteen days, and the virus is fully mature and ready to spread. Now, it needs you to die. So it makes you reckless. It does its best to turn a regular, self-preserving person into an actual train wreck. It will actually give you dopamine and serotonin when you get an injury, in a ratio equal to the wound. So, you'll die the happiest you could possibly be from something like a knife through the heart, or a shot through the gut. Some people are driven to jump from heights and impale themselves on something below, or even just hit the pavement and let themselves die wrapped in the gentle hands of joy. Some will just injure themselves, without the help of gravity. Some will aggressively antagonize other humans, hoping they'll eg them into a violent, deadly fight. But generally those people were already jerks in the first place.

Once you've died, however you died, the virus can take over. Because, this whole time, it wasn't really a virus. It was a worm, which starts so tiny you would never stand a chance of noticing it. Tinier even than those little red bugs you might see crawling over paper when you're out in the woods, so small that if you brush your hand over them they become nothing more than a smear of coppery brown. So small and fragile, they couldn't possibly survive outside of a host. But inside a host, they grow. They grow and grow, so thoroughly burying themselves in your brain they may as well have always been in it. When you die, they can finally take control of your muscles, no longer held back by the complexities of the human mind. This is why zombies shuffle and jerk around so awkwardly. They're merely puppets, meaty sacks of flesh controlled from inside by a worm that's found the strings. It knows just which ones to pull which way to make motion happen. It doesn't breathe, not really, all it might use is that sense of smell it learned while you were alive. It will use hearing, because those little organs in your ear won't stop feeling sound just because your body is dead. All those other systems aren't essential for a worm that's single purpose in life is now to find hosts for its own horrible offspring. Because that worm isn't alone.

It's not one worm. It's dozens of them, all now breeding and gathering their safely hatched larvae on the cold teeth and tongue of the corpse within which they reside. And yes, they might have been able to spread before now, if your environment was just right to keep your mouth the right temperature for this breeding. Yes, you might have infected others while you still lived and breathed in your own skin.

You see, those adults can't reproduce at the natural body temperature of a human, let alone the temperatures they can reach during the height of a fever. So they need that host to die and cool off. It just takes a day. Just one day for enough eggs, enough larvae to let that monstrous parasite begin searching for a new host. Those larvae can't grow in the cold, decomposing bodies of the dead. Although, the adults are surprisingly resilient, uncharacteristically long-lived, for a parasite. And so, the zombie rises, shuffling after any hint of breathing humans to continue their cycle of life and death.

If you crack open a zombie's skull without blasting the contents within into oblivion, you might be able to find dozens of these foot-long worms wiggling in distaste at their unexpected situation.

Of course, all of this depends on the physical and mental toll that getting a severe infection does. Ideally, the parasite doesn't even get to the stage where it has to drive you to seek death, because septic shock has already come and destroyed you from the inside out. So, in theory, it is survivable. If you aren't wracked with sickness, if you have a strong will, you might be able to fight the parasites long enough for them to die. You might just be able to recover.

But that's never happened. Besides, would you even want to survive? How permanent, how treatable are the alterations these parasitic worms cause? No one knows.

Here it is, the zombie "virus" and how it works written in a weirdly disassociated perspective, specifically for the few bitten!hermit headcanons. Feel free to ask questions and write stories! Please tag me in them @basaltdragon, I wanna hear it all •v•

I'm sorry if this triggers anybody (including mod) in any way, it is... a Lot.

#tw gore #gore #tw #worms #tw worms #hcraft #hermitcraftheadcanons #zombie apocalypse au #auheadcanon #posted 18.05.20 #my word! you wrote a novel!#this makes so much sense too! you definetly did your medical research!#also I love how you didn't overlook how bites actually work #because funfact #an average human male has a bite force so strong if they bit through the front of the neck they could pull out the trachea #scary stuff #but yeah this is super good!#submission

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shoujolover-666 · 3 years

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The Counsellor: Sunday

Link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/27042859/chapters/66738514

Jakurai woke up with a headache, his head pulsing and his body heavy. He didn’t feel too good, but at least it was better than usually. Maybe he got better when it came to the alcohol thing?

His eyes wandered around before he noticed that he still wore the clothes from the day before, just without his shoes.

For some reason, he didn’t see them anywhere, but there was a pair that was unfamiliar to him. Did any of the teachers leave them for him? If they did, he would have to thank them later.

The man with lavender coloured hair got up slowly, hearing his body crack slightly. Alright, maybe it wouldn’t be a good idea to drink again anytime soon.

Blue orbs wandered to the clock. It was 9 AM. If it were a day during the week, he wouldn’t have let that happen. It was not the case though, so he was a bit more relaxed. Unlike the others though, he still was working during the weekends. A nurse was always needed, for there were always students who caused some fights or got into trouble with some of the others.

His services were also available during the weekends, for he enjoyed the company of the students as well. All of them were quite interesting, each of them having their own troubles and worries.

Riddle and Leona weren’t his only confidants. Cater Diamond was one of the people who tended to visit him, even if he did it under the guise of just wanting to talk to someone who seemed to be so mysterious. Most of the time, they talked about trivial things, but sometimes he was able to catch a glimpse of insecurity and worry.

So far though, the orange haired young man was not willing to open up to him when it came to his problem. He won’t force him to, but he hoped that he would trust him enough at one point to talk to him about these matters. Another person who sometimes visited him was a Pomefiore student with the name of Epel Felmier. A student from the countryside whose rather innocent and feminine appearance was rather deceiving, for he was rather direct and rough. It did remind him of a certain pinkette he knew, but in a completely different way.

No, there were obvious differences between them. Ramuda Amemura hid behind a cute facade because he deliberately wanted to hide things. The pink haired man who was once his partner… no Epel did not resemble him in any way except for the fact that they behaved differently when in the eyes of the public.

But that was not the point.

Epel mostly came to him to let loose and talk about how he hated being a Pomefior student, and how he would rather be in Savanaclaw. How the mirror must have made a mistake, and how he would rather have been in any other dorm but that. Sadly, he couldn't offer him much help with a person who was not willing to come to him, but he decided to give him help in another form, by showing him some methods of self defense.

Jakurai was very aware of how provocative the students were, and how it seems as if violence wasn’t that unusual.

The young man appreciated his advice and the things he showed him to the point that he started to call him sensei.

That made him smile sincerely, for it reminded him of how Hifumi and Doppo tended to call him that.

It also reminded him of Yotsutsuji. He was an orphan who he took under his care, and who was like a son to him. A man who got hurt because of him.

There was no that he could change that happened in the past though. He had to look at the future and try not to repeat the mistakes he did in his past.

When he entered the infirmary, there already were a couple of students who looked at him with curiosity. Some bad looking wounds were on their body, but it was nothing that couldn’t be treated easily.

Some students have been treated by him already. It actually happened on the day he has been introduced as the new nurse and counsellor.

Somehow, a few students were already arguing about one thing or the other, which led to a fight involving magic. The wounds were more serious than the usual ones, which was why he had to use his ability already.

Looks of surprise were on him, and they started to bombard him with questions. Of course, he couldn’t tell them that it wasn’t magic, so he simply told them, that it was something he could not talk about. Of course they were not satisfied by that answer, but they couldn’t force him to tell them, which was why they let that go.

Still, it led to some students hurting themselves deliberately because they wanted to see his magic.

Jakurai asked them how these injuries came to be, which has been answered with honesty.

They were Heartslabyul students who picked a fight with members of the Savanaclaw dorm. The doctor looked at them with eyes which had a hint of disappointment. There was a hint of guilt on their faces, and they promised him that they would try their best to stay out of trouble in the future. With that, he smiled and pulled out his microphone. It was plain, its appearance was nothing spectacular.

When a soft glow appeared though, it turned into a ribbon microphone with wings and a stand. It was decorated with a snake and an IV drip.

Behind him, his speaker appeared. It was a stylised cross with multiple smaller round speakers surrounding the cross. The golden shine of the cross gave him an ethereal look.

With that, he started to rap. His verses were gentle, his voice deep and smooth as he rapped, slowly healing the wounds of the students like that. It took a slight toll on him, but it was nothing that he had to worry about. Normally, he didn’t have to use his ability too often, for most injuries were easily treatable with bandages or other mundane methods.

Only situations like these really required the use of his mic, and even then, most of the time there were other treatments available.

When he was done, the students bowed and thanked him several times with looks of awes on their faces.

Amongst some of the students, he already had the title of angle or saint, depending on the person one talked to. If the tall man were to catch wind of that, he would get a sense of deja vu, but so far, he didn’t.

After they were done thanking him, he simply smiled and waved, showing them that it was not necessary to thank him for doing his job. That didn’t stop them of course.

Several minutes passed, and they were gone, continuing their day.

His microphone returned back to its normal form, and the speakers disappeared as well.

A person who was now in his infirmary was Divus, his arms were crossed as he looked at Jakurai with a look he couldn’t read.

“It seems like you are doing fine again.”

At that, the doctor raised an eyebrow before he nodded. Wasn’t he supposed to?

When it seemed as if the man with lavender coloured hair had nothing else to say, he sighed.

The night before was a nightmare.

An absolute nightmare of lavender coloured hair, and a flow of seemingly never ending alcohol. Bottles were flying, glasses were flying and even pieces of clothes were discarded at some point.

They had no choice but to watch the disaster unfold. Ashton was laughing, enjoying how ‘energetic’ Jakurai was in comparison to his usual self, while Trein seemed as if he tried to melt into the background, hoping that the drunk man would forget that he was present as well.

If the students were to see the usually composed man like that, they wouldn’t believe that they really were the usually calm and kind counsellor.

And how many glasses did he drink?

One.

Not one glass, one sip. One sip was enough to put him into that state. It was as if they opened Pandora’s box, releasing all of the hidden sides of the man they knew for around a month now.

How were they supposed to know that things would turn out like that? Really, if Divus had known, he would never have suggested the invitation in the first place.

“Well, if you are in need of aspirins, you should find them here. That’s all I wanted to say. When you are done, let’s meet up at my office.”

With these words, he left again. Despite the chaos and the headaches the doctor brought him, he enjoyed the other’s company greatly when he was sober, which he was most of the time, luckily.

He even enjoyed it even to the point at which he was wondering what exactly it was he was feeling for him.

Talking to him was always refreshing, for he showed his interest for alchemy openly. Despite the fact that he had no prior experience, he was quick to catch up after he lent him some books and his mind was brilliant enough to come up with things he never considered before. Jakurai was generally a very pleasant man to be around.

Ah, maybe he was looking too deep into it. It was probably nothing more than appreciation for a person he could tolerate. With that thought, he continued on with his day.

#twisted wonderland #hypnosismic #crossover #fanfic #divus crewel #jakurai jinguji #epel felmier #i might or might not be a major simp for jakurai

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animeraider · 3 years

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I get a lot of flack from anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, and other fuckwits about my words on the COVID-19 Pandemic and in particular the response to it in the US. I pull no punches about it, I believe firmly that the previous administration and ANYONE who enables them and their policies are complicit in the deaths of all of these people. They belong in prison.

I'm not going to fucking apologize for believing that. The fault for all of this belongs directly in the laps of the Republican Party. If you believe otherwise, you're WRONG. I can bring the receipts.

I've been pretty isolated during all of this. I went into lockdown on March 11, 2020 and I'm technically still there. I now work from home, and even though I've been fully vaccinated for two months now I still go out masked. I may never eat at a buffet again. Sorry Sizzler, but I've learned how to make your cheese bread.

I ripped a tendon in my left knee in May of 2020. I had to go to the hospital, but I was out in a few hours with crutches. I would joke with people that I'm now out of hinged joints to break.

But in July my cough returned with an attitude, and I picked up an infection. Not Covid, but it all made me pretty sick. So that you understand, I have what's called "Chronic Cough Syndrome". I've had it since I was 8. No one knows the cause or the cure. Believe me, we've looked. I just start coughing, and after a few months, I stop. It can be treated but I just have to live with it until someone comes up with something we haven't tried before.

Doctors have gotten into fistfights over whether or not I have Asthma. I don't, but sometimes Asthma medications work for a bit. To be honest, I've had this for so long that sometimes I don't even notice when I cough. It's just part of the wonder of being me.

I took the Pandemic seriously. I stayed home, I socially distanced, I got real familiar with teams, bluejeans, and zoom. I did a LOT of cooking. Started making bread. Watched the country fall apart at the seams and commented on it from my own little pocket of safety. I contributed a new song to a fund-raising effort for nurses. I did my part to stay safe, but my cough had other ideas.

Anyway, this time my coughing got pretty severe and I finally agreed to go to the hospital. As stated above, turns out I had picked up an infection. Combine that with my cough and I showed all of the symptoms of a severe case of COVID-19.

I'd been careful, but the hospital staff were all very cross with me. If I had COVID, I just exposed all of them, and the main nurse who tended to me had already been quarantined that same month for a different exposure. When the test came back negative the tension in the emergency ward calmed down immensely and everyone treated me kindly and professionally - I was a patient with something they knew what to do with and didn't bring plague into their house.

I spent 4 days in the hospital but the worst part, scariest part, was the wait to move from the Emergency Room to a private room. I came to the hospital in the late afternoon. I finally got my bed nearly 12 hours later, a good 8 hours after my test for COVID had come back negative.

I needed to be hospitalized, and needed a bed, and there weren't any. I had to wait for someone to either be discharged or to die.

I got my bed at 4 in the morning. Someone had died. Musical chairs was played and I was finally moved out of the Emergency Room.

It's really hard to understand how sobering that is without experiencing it. Many years ago, before we even knew about AIDS, I had the honor of donating blood and seeing it get used in a surgery mere minutes later. I became a regular blood donor at that moment - I felt so happy and alive that my blood had been used to save a life mere minutes after I had donated it (I'm O Negative) that I became a life-long believer. I donated every time I was eligible from that moment forward until a blood infection disqualified me from ever donating again 20 years later.

This was just the opposite. The guy with a cough and a treatable infection had to wait for someone on a ventilator to stop breathing. Someone with COVID died so that I could get a bed. They never knew this had happened, and I never learned who they were. Some random person died so that I could get better.

Try sleeping after that realization hits you. I couldn't. I barely slept the entire time I was there.

Despite the fact that I wasn't in the "COVID Ward" I got to see the effects first-hand. The newly disinfected bed and room I had was previously occupied by someone moved up to the Covid Ward. They in turn had moved up there after a ventilator was taken away from a patient who died. Staff rotated through different wards on different shifts. My first nurse was rotated into the Covid Ward. My next day nurse had just rotated out. I have never in my life seen a group of people look so haunted by their day to day lives.

A well-liked member of their staff was on a ventilator. So was a priest who worked in the hospital. I had never seen in person a "Code Blue". There were six of them my first day. There is also a "Code Black". It's much worse.

My wife and daughters weren't allowed to visit me. When your daily soundtrack is nothing but medical staff talking about the good and the bad, terrible television and the moaning/screaming of your new neighbors getting that visit from family is a huge stress relief. It wasn't available this time. I didn't see my family again until I was discharged. There was no outside world.

I admit that being in hospital during all of this, even though I myself didn't have COVID, shook me. When you're in hospital mostly what you deal with is yourself and your own condition, and getting the hell out of there as soon as you can. This time I was not only aware of the people around me, their conditions, their suffering and their recoveries, but I was also aware that a whole section of the building was dedicated to people who were going to die, and that the people who were treating me were also treating them.

This was as close as I got to the Pandemic. When I got home I fucking STAYED THERE. I went to the grocery store and the pharmacy and that was it. That was life for MONTHS.

Our grocery store was fantastic - they enforced social distancing and masks with gusto. They cleaned EVERYTHING. It had been a 24 hour store but converted to shorter hours so that the down time could be spent cleaning. Aisles were made one-way.

The first time I saw someone in the parking lot without a mask I have to admit that I lost it. I screamed at them (a white couple about my age), "PUT YOUR FUCKING MASKS ON YOU FUCKING MORONS!" Understand, I'm a fairly large man with a deep voice and have been a professional singer for decades and have played sax even longer. I'm loud and imposing. Everyone within 50 feet turned and stared at the couple. Okay, me first then the couple.

It's possible they didn't speak English. They exchanged a few words in Russian to each other and then masked up.

I've been known to let my temper show. I try not to because I know it's there and I know it's terrible. I've worked for decades to keep it in check and I just let it all out, screaming at a couple of rando Karens 20 feet away from anyone else who hadn't put their masks on yet. I had to acknowledge that this affected me profoundly. I'm dealing with that.

I've lost friends to COVID. One of my neighbors spent almost 3 months on a ventilator and survived it. Some of my friends have lost family. It hurts. It all hurts. It has changed me.

Some of you have noticed that I've been pretty productive in 2021 in terms of music, after not releasing material for over a decade. This whole experience has changed me, changed my perspective. I was already an angry liberal but I'm far angrier and much more liberal now than I was. The album I worked on forever essentially no longer exists. The person I am now couldn't make that album. I am excising demons and allowing the new to come in and take its place.

And you know what, so far, I'm okay. I'm still here. I intend to stay. In fact, what I intend to be the first song from my next album in its own way deals with the fact that I don't understand depression - I've never experienced it.

But I have to admit that I'm grateful to have family and friends in my life who accept me as I am, who provide unconditional love and support and I hope I do for them. I have the occasional doubt that I'm as good a friend/family member as I can be. I can be an ass sometimes.

(A couple of my long-time friends have just done spit-takes. "Sometimes????")

Because the scariest thing about what we've all been through - what I've been through - is that we have changed so much that I'm not sure that the people who know me best would be my friends if they met me as the person I am now. I am changed.

And the odds are pretty good that you have too. This is something we're all going to need to deal with, or we're lost.

Please, don't be lost.

And because it still needs doing, because the pandemic is still going strong as ever among the anti-vaxxers, the science deniers and the Republicans, please support our nurses. Here's the album I'm on that is still to this day, long after falling off the charts, raising money for them:

#Spotify

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newstfionline · 3 years

Text

Friday, March 12, 2021

Rich, developing nations wrangle over COVID vaccine patents (Reuters) Richer members of the World Trade Organization (WTO) blocked a push by over 80 developing countries on Wednesday to waive patent rights in an effort to boost production of COVID-19 vaccines for poor nations. South Africa and India renewed their bid to waive rules of the WTO’s Trade-Related Aspects of Intellectual Property (TRIPS) agreement, a move that could allow generic or other manufacturers to make more vaccines. South Africa argued the current TRIPS system does not work, pointing to the failure to secure life-saving medicines during the HIV/AIDS pandemic that had cost at least 11 million African lives. Medecins Sans Frontieres in October put together a letter signed by over 375 civil society organisations supporting the waiver. The South Africa and India proposal was backed by dozens of largely developing countries at the WTO, but opposed by Western countries, including Britain, Switzerland, EU nations and the United States, which have large domestic pharmaceutical industries.

US reports surge of kids at SW border, a challenge for Biden (AP) The number of migrant children and families seeking to cross the U.S. southwest border has surged to levels not seen since before the pandemic, a challenge for President Joe Biden. Statistics released Wednesday by U.S. Customs and Border Protection showed the number of children and families increased by more than 100% between January and February. Kids crossing by themselves rose 60% to more than 9,400, forcing the government to look for new places to hold them temporarily. The surge has been seized on by Republicans and former President Donald Trump as a line of attack on Biden, though his administration is turning back nearly all single adults, who make up the majority of border-crossers, under a public health order imposed at the start of the coronavirus pandemic. The Biden administration is temporarily holding children and families, mostly from Central America, for several days. They are generally then allowed to enter the U.S. while authorities evaluate their claims to asylum or see if they have any other legal right to stay in the country. It is a challenge for an administration that has been working to restore an asylum system largely dismantled under Trump and likely to face increasing pressure. Factors driving the increase include widespread hunger in Central America due to recent hurricanes, the economic upheaval of the pandemic and more fundamental social problems dating back years.

Brazil hospitals buckle (AP) Brazil’s hospitals are faltering as a highly contagious coronavirus variant tears through the country, the president insists on unproven treatments and the only attempt to create a national plan to contain COVID-19 has just fallen short. Piaui state’s Gov. Wellington Dias told The Associated Press that, unless pressure on hospitals is eased, growing numbers of patients will have to endure the disease without a hospital bed or any hope of treatment in an intensive care unit. “We have reached the limit across Brazil; rare are the exceptions,” Dias, who leads the governors’ forum, said. “The chance of dying without assistance is real.” Those deaths have already started. In Brazil’s wealthiest state, Sao Paulo, at least 30 patients died this month while waiting for ICU beds, according to a tally published Wednesday by the news site G1. In southern Santa Catarina state, 419 people are waiting for transfer to ICU beds. In neighboring Rio Grande do Sul, ICU capacity is at 106%.

Athens tackles heat and pollution with pocket-sized parks (Reuters) Tucked between rows of apartment blocks on an Athens street, a strip of green with a few trees, some plants and a bench offers a breathing space in the surrounding crush of concrete. The Greek capital has started creating “pocket parks”, transforming small plots once ridden with garbage and weeds, in a bid to tackle its chronic pollution. “It’s about creating green spaces, lowering the temperatures, giving quality of life and creating new reference points inside the city,” Athens Mayor Kostas Bakoyannis said. “It lets us breathe a bit, because the way we are here ... we are suffocating,” said 65-year-old Dimitra from the densely populated neighbourhood of Kypseli.

Myanmar’s searing smartphone images flood a watching world (AP) The images ricochet across the planet, as so many do in this dizzying era of film it, upload it, tell it to the world: scenes from a protest-turned-government crackdown, captured at ground level by smartphone users on the streets of Myanmar. Images shot across barricades and furtively through windows. From behind bushes and through smudged car windshields. Horizontal video. Vertical video. Video captured by people running toward chaos and away from it. People shouting. People helping. People demanding. People dying. It is a dynamic completely unlike the uprising that spread through the Southeast Asian nation in the pre-internet, pre-smartphone summer of 1988. Then, when student-led demonstrations were violently put down by the government, cementing Myanmar’s global notoriety as an isolated, repressive state, it took months, even years, for the outside world to understand the full story of what had happened. This time around, the imagery is plentiful and unsettling. Filmed by participants on the ground and uploaded, sometimes immediately, the protests and crackdowns are reaching millions of handheld devices around the planet, also almost immediately. It’s a vivid example of a technological truism in an age when capturing images has become utterly democratized: If you can glimpse it up close, you’re more likely to pay attention.

Most Americans support tough stance toward China on human rights, economic issues (Pew Research Center) Roughly nine-in-ten U.S. adults (89%) consider China a competitor or enemy, rather than a partner, according to a new Pew Research Center survey. Many also support taking a firmer approach to the bilateral relationship, whether by promoting human rights in China, getting tougher on China economically or limiting Chinese students studying abroad in the United States. Americans rarely brought up the Chinese people or the country’s long history and culture in their responses. Instead, they focused primarily on the Chinese government—including its policies or how it behaves internationally—as well as its economy.

Ten years on, Japan mourns victims of earthquake, Fukushima nuclear disaster (Reuters) Japan on Thursday mourned nearly 20,000 victims of a massive earthquake and tsunami that struck Japan 10 years ago, destroying towns and triggering nuclear meltdowns in Fukushima, the world’s worst nuclear disaster since Chernobyl. Huge waves triggered by the 9.0-magnitude quake—one of the strongest on record—crashed into the northeastern coast, crippling the Fukushima Dai-ichi power plant and forcing more than 160,000 residents to flee as radiation spewed into the air. The government has spent about $300 billion (32.1 trillion yen) to rebuild the tsunami-devastated region, but areas around the Fukushima plant remain off-limits, worries about radiation levels linger and many who left have settled elsewhere. Decommissioning of the crippled plant will take decades and billions of dollars. The disaster has also left survivors in Tohoku struggling to overcome the grief of losing families and whole communities to the waves in a few frightening hours on the afternoon of March 11, 2011.

Lebanon’s politicians show no sign of saving their country, France says (Reuters) France’s foreign minister said on Thursday time was running out to prevent Lebanon collapsing and that he could see no sign that the country’s politicians were doing what they could to save it. France has spearheaded international efforts to rescue the former French protectorate from its deepest crisis since the 1975-1990 civil war by trying to use Paris’ historical influence to persuade squabbling politicians to adopt a reform roadmap and form a new government to unlock international aid. “I would be tempted to qualify Lebanese politicians as guilty of not helping a country in danger,” Jean-Yves le Drian told a news conference in Paris. “They all committed to act to create an inclusive government and committed to implementing indispensable reforms. That was seven months ago and nothing is moving. I think it’s not too late, but the delays are very small before collapse.”

UN food aid chief visits Yemen, fears famine (AP) The head of the U.N. food agency warned after a visit to Yemen that his underfunded organization may be forced to seek hundreds of millions of dollars in private donations in a desperate bid to stave off widespread famine in coming months, describing conditions in the war-stricken nation as “hell.” The World Food Program needs at least $815 million in Yemen aid over the next six months, but has only $300 million, the agency’s executive director, David Beasley, told The Associated Press in an interview. He said the agency would need another $1.9 billion to meet targets for the year. Beasley visited Yemen earlier this week, including the capital of Sanaa which is under the control of Iran-backed Houthi rebels. He said that at a child malnutrition ward in a Sanaa hospital he saw children wasting away from lack of food. Many, he said, were on the brink of death from entirely preventable and treatable causes, and they were the lucky ones who were receiving medical care. He said the world needs to wake up to how bad things have gotten in Yemen, particularly for the country’s youngest.

Shock and uncertainty after death of Ivory Coast PM Bakayoko (Reuters) Ivory Coast faced shock and uncertainty on Thursday following the death of Prime Minister Hamed Bakayoko, the West African nation’s second premier to die in office in less than eight months. A close ally of President Alassane Ouattara, Bakayoko, who died of cancer a few days after his 56th birthday, was appointed prime minister in July 2020 after the death of his predecessor Amadou Gon Coulibaly, Ouattara’s handpicked successor. A central figure in Ivorian politics over the past two decades as the country was plunged into a prolonged conflict and a partition, Bakayoko, a jovial character with roots in media and showbiz, emerged as a conciliatory figure, able to talk to all sides of the conflict. His capacity to gain the trust of all sides including former rebel soldiers who staged a series of mutinies in 2017, threatening a fragile peace in the world’s top cocoa producing nation, saw him appointed as defence minister in 2017, and kept the portfolio when he became prime minister.

Nuclear power (Scientific American) Nuclear power is waning, but not for the typical fears. Rather, other ways of generating electricity have just become cheaper and more available. Nuclear power in 2020 accounted for about 19 percent of U.S. electricity needs, a figure that by 2050 is projected to slip to 11 percent according to the Energy Information Administration. Nuclear power is over half of low-carbon electricity generation in the U.S., and is about 30 percent of the world’s low-carbon electricity. The coming years will determine how much nuclear power will play a role in the energy future, as new demos of small modular reactors begin to roll out in the United States.

Tiny internal cameras (Times of London) Thousands of NHS patients will be given tiny cameras to swallow to check for cancer in a new national trial. The technology, in a pill-sized capsule, takes images as it passes through the bowel and beams them to a recording device worn on a belt and shoulder bag. It can then be flushed away. Sir Simon Stevens, chief executive of NHS England, said that the “ingenious” capsule cameras would allow more people to undergo cancer investigations quickly and safely.

#headlines #news

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pratyayasingh · 3 years

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ANXIETY: it just stops your life…

Anxiety: Everyone is familiar with this term, everyone experience this many times in his/her life time. Generally, it’s obvious to get anxious in some situations like before exams, interview time or during result time….. such kind of anxiety is quite common and mostly go/ vanish once the instance is over… In most of the cases, there is always a reason behind why person is anxious and if we address that reason, a person can succesfully deal with this situation.

But when anyone start feeling anxious with out any reason like, suppose you are sitting on your couch,enjoying your coffee , watching your favourite show and suddenly you start feeling heaviness in your chest, suddenly your heart is pounding ,gets throbbing… you start sweating, trembling, restless……and when you calm down you try to recall what happen?? and you realised that actually you don’t have any clue why this is happening to you,you trying to find out but you get no answer, no specific answer and when such incidents start happening more frequently then this anxiety is called CHRONIC ANXIETY DISORDER (CAD).

Anxiety not only means that you feel only low but it also means you feel very high too but one thing is common you wont have any reason for either of these states….like it can be understood that your electrons are always into excited mode not at its normal state ,you either feel too low or too high….🤨😔🙂

There can be anything that can make you anxious when you have CAD[ Chronic anxiety disorder] this something or anything is named as triggers….. list of triggers is so long and varies so much from person to person that it’s practically not possible to pen them down.

I ,personally, dealing with this CAD so I can very well know how difficult this situation is, sometimes even a word like ‘shame’ can trigger or aggravate the anxiety… though if we look into literal meaning of shame it is not a very positive word but it’s very general/ common to use such words in not negative way. Is it possible to avoid such triggers… Mmm… according to me it’s not practically possible. How such things can be avoided??, it’s only possible if you just lock yourself or just raise walls around you so high that you just be with yourself only…… and icing on cake is that even if disconnect ourselves from all people,still we get anxious ,this is the most worst.

And its a sigh!! that there is no magic, no silver bullet which you can just pop in and get rid of anxiety…. 😒😒and funny part is the medicines being prescribed to control anxiety,they all have anxiety,depression as side effect,isn’t it funny?

Its a very tricky and vicious circle, you just can’t go and tell everyone around you that look please don’t do this, don’t do that because I’m a CAD patient and Irony is we really need support, a good support system to deal / fight with this condition. Very few are lucky ones that get such strong support system actually I think(its my perception) it’s very difficult to get such support afterall they’re humans, they’ve their own limitations so I just wonder what should/ can be done in such situations? How to break this circle, how to deal with it at your own level without creating negative impact on persons in inner circle of your life?

My this problem increased to the point where it starts impacting my role as mother.I am lucky that im blessed with very understanding boy but I started feeling that my this situation is giving, putting negative impact on my son’s life.I started expecting more understanding from him,which is not right, afterall he is just a my little boy and

It puts me on roller coaster ride of guilty.

Now the million dollar question is how to treat this condition or atleast manage it so it cant impact negatively on our lives.

My personal understanding from my own situation is that the most important thing is to accept this condition, this anxiety… it’s very important to accept that it’s fine, it’s okay if we’ve CAD or anyother kind of anxiety or mental health issues. Its not something to hide or run from it. Second, important part is to understand that it is treatable just like most of other physical ailments. Third , part is to take help of not only physchiatrist , but also of physchologist as former one mostly deals with medicines , but former one can help us to address the hidden triggers for anxiety, which we may find are not triggers . Along with all this, we can incorporate yoga, meditation, mindfulness, inner child therapies. Moderate exercise , with healthy diet can help to cope with this condition. Its absolutely fine, okay to seek help from family or friends if possible.

The first step is very important that is to accept your condition asap. I, myself, took long time to accept that I can have anxiety , I always think I’m a strong person with tough mind, such mental health issues can’t happen to me and here I’m today, tried all the medications and now waiting for rtms and hoping that after this treatment, my condition will come to initial stage and then I’ll start my journey to get rid of it or manage it using the possibilites I mentioned above because as of now by the time I accepted that I have anxiety, I have become already Chronic anxiety disorder patient and I didnot realise when I reach so far on the path of medicines, that doing yoga , meditation etc become a big task for me, I just can’t do it.

But, still because of the help of my friends, my physchologist I did not lose my sanity and I’m still seeking help though I got panic attacks almost once in an hour but don’t know what’s that thing in me which tells me still you can come out of all this .

So , accept the problem, don’t hide it, seek medical help, family and friends help if possible…….enough for now Pratyaya #panicdisorder #anxiety #mentalhealth

#panic attack #anxiety #mental wellness #mentalheathawareness

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