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pomefioredove · 8 days

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now I'm actually invested in this idea. maybe I'll write a full length fic someday idk... for now I have short hcs

parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | bad ending

summary: crowley decides to "give away" yuu to the highest "donation" for financial reasons type of post: headcanons characters: all nrc students additional info: can be read as platonic or romantic, except malleus is pretty romantic, second person pov, yuu is gender neutral, maybe a little ooc I wrote this as soon as I got up

crowley has had his fair share of "what the fuck" moments from you but this was really taking the cake

he acts so... casual about it?

swaggers into ramshackle one morning and says times are tough and your personal expenses are straining the budget so he's decided to "put you in someone else's care"

"The screening process will be vigorous to make sure you end up in good hands!" like you're a cat or something "Your expenses will be covered and you'll have somewhere to go during break!"

okay great. pretty obvious you have no say in this, so you don't even argue. what's the worst that could happen?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel find you the next day to say they're pooling their money to buy you

"To what?"

Epel shrugs. "Oh, well Crowley said we need to offer a donation to prove we're capable of supporting you..."

(you think that if not for the laws of this land you would have slaughtered that old fart)

Jack goes on a really long tirade about how shady and underhanded this is, making sure to reaffirm that he believes you should be free to make your own choices

"So you'll let me go once you get me?"

"Uhhh..."

Ace thinks once they buy you you'll have no choice but to do all of his homework for him

Deuce says that's not really how it works- and even if he tried, Riddle would kill him

(they've already gone over this twice before finding you)

Epel happily volunteers to take you home with him over breaks, probably the only positive in this mess

even if he thinks the whole thing is kind of funny

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

incapable of keeping his mouth shut, Ace accidentally spills the plan to Riddle, who is understandably aghast

you can't just give away a person under your care like a toy!

of all the irresponsible things...

of course, he'll have to put up his offer, too

purely for your sake! with a nicer room and a brand new copy of the dorm rules, maybe you'll stop getting yourself into trouble

he's got some family money (doctors, naturally) and considers this a worthwhile purchase, for his sanity and yours

of course, Trey and Cater overhear and may or may not be pooling their own cash for a chance, too

going behind Riddle's back on this is a risky venture, but hey, someone's gotta be on your side, here, right?

I mean, between a bunch of sixteen year old boys, the housewarden, and them, who would you choose?

actually don't answer that

...not that it's much of a secret, anyway. Cater's already got their gofundme equivalent link in bio

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona initially plans to have you become a live-in lackey like Ruggie

but then he really starts thinking- and, hey, the possibilities are endless, right?

for one, you'd make a really good pillow

he might have to kick Grim out for your full attention, but you could learn to live with that

and malleus would hate it

...that's reason enough for him

plus, he's got money to burn, so why not?

either way, he sets his bid at a reasonable (maybe too confident) price and sits back to watch the chaos unfold as everyone scrambles for a piece of the pie

news travels fast around school, after all

then Ruggie finds out that you could dethrone him as Leona's #2 and is understandably a little annoyed

that's his cushy post-grad job gig, thank you! he's worked hard for that!

besides, why should Leona get to hoard you? the guy can barely take care of himself!

so, Ruggie ends up outsourcing to a few dozen classmates for the necessary funds at a steep I-owe-you price

he's gonna be eating nothing but dandelions for a while...

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

now, Azul is annoyed

once the news goes school-wide, it's all anyone can talk about

talk about good marketing...

why didn't he think of such a brilliant scam? he could have negotiated with Crowley to have a café brand deal tie-in!

of course, he's already set his bid, with Jade and Floyd offering to pitch in as necessary

it's a risky investment, sure, but a worthwhile one

Azul tells everyone that with the prefect's "obvious" popularity, having them at the café a few nights a week would drive sales through the roof

though that's really just what he says to shirk suspicion

a likely excuse coming from him, though, really, it would just be nice having you around

and if not for his own affections, Floyd's incessant begging and Jade's subtly manipulative comments about "how nice" it would be having a new face around would be enough for him to cave eventually

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"Kalim, no," is the first thing that Jamil says

"I strongly advise against this. It's another one of Crowley's silly scams and you could end up a target bec- are you even listening?"

hint: he is not

the second Kalim found out that he could get to take in his favorite magicless student like one of his treasures, he was all over it

(AKA infinite sleepovers)

and for what? a little optional donation to prove he's got the funds? he's got cash to spare!

he's already got your new room in Scarabia set up before he even puts his bid in

right next to his of course :)

and despite what Jamil insists, he himself might be working behind the curtain just a little to ensure he's the one who ends up with you

after all, why should Kalim get everything? this might be a valuable learning opportunity for him

You don't always get what you want

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

as much as Epel tries to keep the rest of his dorm from finding out, it's inevitable

he's actually a little surprised that the news didn't get to Vil sooner

with Rook around campus, surely he must have said something...

when Vil does find out, though, he just sighs

oh, of course. what next, will everyone meet each other in the arena and fight to the death over the prefect?

of all the silly, immature things...

oh? what's that? he's bidding anyway? of course he is, silly potato. he can't have some unwashed miscreant making you sleep on polyester bedding

(really, he's the only person on campus worthy of your time)

Rook has also been mysteriously absent from the dorm lately, though his initials on a poem and a strangely large sum of money end up in the donation pile

but really, that could be anyone... Rook would never dare betray Vil again, right?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ortho finds out directly from the other first years and sends Idia the details immediately

with a little note of encouragement, of course: "could be excellent for improving your social skills!"

Idia understandably freaks out

"WTF!!!! nooo way! this is a person, not a chatbot we're talking about here! I can barely keep virtual pets alive!!!!"

(liar)

(...but this is still different)

the conversation ends there, but semi-anonymous bid from someone named "gloomurai" gets cashapp'd directly to crowley

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

everyone in the room immediately turns to Malleus

"For the record, I think it's wrong to be bargaining over a human being," Silver says first. "But if anyone could handle it with grace, it's you."

Lilia laughs. "Oh, you're just saying that because you like the prefect so much!"

"Father, you're the one who likes the prefect so much,"

"Oh, right! carry on then. After all, I'm sure we could share,"

Sebek is the only one relatively against the idea, though Lilia luckily manages to get him to lower his voice after his third speech about how you aren't good enough for his liege

Malleus is rather quiet through the whole evening, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with any of the points made

he disappears for a short while, and when he comes back he seems a little more confident

though, of course, he goes to you first

seeing him at Ramshackle in the middle of the night is a familiar and welcoming sight after all of the chaos of your week

and he's in a great mood!

"Child of man! I've come with news," he says. "I have heard of your predicament and have come up with a solution!"

you immediately sulk. "Oh, no. You know I think this whole thing is terrible, right?"

"Yes, Silver mentioned you might not like the idea of being bought and sold like a trinket. But worry not, I do not plan on paying for you in money,"

you pause, at a loss for words, and then tentatively continue. "You're not...?"

"Of course not. What a primitive idea, I was baffled to hear it myself. My proposal will be more traditional: a modest sum of treasure, and a generous amount of livestock and the finest crop Briar Valley can offer,"

certainly he's not this naive, you think

"You really think Crowley is going to accept that over money? I'm pretty sure Kalim just bid away an entire country's worth,"

he laughs. "You speak as if this is some kind of business deal! I'm quite confident that my dowry will be best,"

huh. that was a strange way of putting it

but then again, you still didn't really understand how things work here, so you go along with it

and you allow yourself to relax. he seems confident in his offer, and he doesn't even see you as some kind of prize to win!

"Oh, well, alright. Thanks! I'm glad you're on it,"

he smiles. "Rest assured, child of man, you're in good hands. My dowry will far outshine the others, and the wedding will be even better,"

"I was honestly getting a little nervous for a momen- wait- wedding!?"

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etherealsworldvision · 2 months

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Singles Love Reading

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about “Care for Gaza” a non-profit charity aid on Twitter (now known as X) who are helping families in need. If you have the funds here are their PayPal and GoFundMe.

🚨 P.S.A 🚨 : I do not give personal readings!

Note : I’m going to give you a heads up…this ended up being a LOVE reading and not a SINGLES reading lol. I guess we are not feeling the romance tonight lol. Okay look — I DID ask for romance stuff and this is what I got so I hope you enjoy it still.

[ general message: saw 222 as I was making the layout so this number might be significant. I believe the numerology meaning is: balance, harmony, spiritual alignment. You can condense it to 6 which would mean: domestic happiness, harmony, and stability. Rain. Autumn/Winter season. Airplanes. 123 ]

Pile 1

[ channeled message: “because I’m tired of being the only one playing by the rules, the world is unfair […] maybe it’s okay if it’s unfair in our favor for once” – Craig from Killing It. ‘Called it love but it was lust’, ‘It wasn’t love like I had hoped’. ‘maybe another time,’ ‘love is a complexity’. ‘If love can fade so can pain’. ‘Let your cup overflow with the love you deserve’.

Additional Confirmation: Seashells. Becoming a Sea Jelly. Prickly. Becoming a Porcupine. Sea and the Earth. Poetry. Disturbance. ]

Cards: 7 of wands (Reverse); Hierophant (Reverse); 9 of Wands. Snail; White Dress; Queen of Hearts; 8 of Hearts.

First thing’s first…this is a complex reading. This is going to be a different type of love reading. I’m sorry if you’re looking for a ‘who is coming in’ but if you still want to stay then please do. This reading does have romantic undertones but it will dives into love.

When I started this reading: I felt like I needed to protect myself — bolt all the doors, close all the windows, triple check the dozens of cameras around the house, and secure myself by hiding under the bed with a blanket wrapped around me.

There’s this profound grief/sadness/yearning/loneliness all meshed together in a box. I think this is your energy because I’m not getting another person. I could be wrong though. But the overall energy feels like the saying “the world/love hasn’t been too kind to you.”

I’m not going to sit here and tell you how to feel. Your feelings are 100% valid because for some reason people probably told you how to feel which made things worse. Honestly all I can give is a virtual hug.

Honestly maybe you’ll find love in this reading [not romantic wise! I meant like a little bit of softness for your day. Idk maybe I’m rambling]. It just feels like you need a blanket and a warm cup of your favorite drink. Some of you might like apple cider with extra cinnamon. Maybe a nice cup of coffee or (ginger) tea with some sugar. Or it’s not physical warmth you’re after but, just this once, inner warmth.

This emptiness you have isn’t something to be taking lightly, that is for sure. It should be held with recognition and upmost delicacy. You aren’t difficult to be loved.

Some of you know this while others may find difficult: you are deserving of love. Some of you are probably groaning and rolling your eyes. I wanted to say it again just in case. I’m also sending you lots of love and support.

You know what, why should I stop there? You’re deserving of people putting effort into you, of understanding, of consistency, of acceptance, of things to be taken at a slower pace. You deserve a love that is supposed to feel like your favorite drink or food. I think, most importantly, you deserve the recognition.

If you can find a healthy outlet please do. I know this reading is probably chaotic but I think it’s supposed to validate how you feel. There was another that came in but it was a bit of blur so I think that’s a sign to leave this reading as is. I’m rooting for you pile 1 and sending many hugs with a lot of love! 💕

Pile 2

[ Channeled Messages: ‘We never realize how frozen we are until someone melts our ice’ ; ‘We know what we are, but not what we may be’ ; ‘Don’t waste a second of your time convincing other people your worth’.

Additional Messages: 111, Broseph (Character from Stoked), Bravery, Strength, Talk, Valentines Day, Take a Break, Focusing on Materialism, Beach Vibes; H2O; Putting in the Work, Babes by Hockey Dad, Safe and Sound by Mr. Floyd Larry, Fire Placements, Sagittarius]

Cards: 9 of Wands; 8 of Cups (Rx); The Chariot. Transformation (Yumiko Kurahashi); The Soul (Emily Dickinson. Jack of Clubs; 8 of Clubs; 7 of Clubs

Pile 2’s, I have to tell you something: I restarted the reading. I reshuffled all the cards and took a ‘day off’ cause my tummy hurts :( and I wanted a break. I don’t know why I had to mention that but…hey, maybe you need a break for the ache?

On with the reading! For those of you who did or are taking a break from love, you’re taking the cool ~ approach. Now this isn’t a mind game approach. I genuinely feel like it’s because you ‘moved on’ from love. You’re just tired of the same ol’ people coming into your life and making you stressed.

I get the feeling you’re taking the ‘Broseph’ (Character from Stoked) approach. If you know him, you know that he’s very chill and laidback. He lets the waves come to him and living life in a relaxing fun way. This could be the way you’re viewing love now.

For some of you I heard “love/dating pool is shit, I’m going to do what I want’, which CONGRATS! You live your life, I’m very proud of you. You may also be taking a funny approach to your love life. I just get the vibe that: ‘love isn’t so serious anymore so might as well make the best of it by taking it lightly’.

Despite these approaches you’re also more selective and will put a boundary up. Again congrats to you! You’re at the point of, again, enjoying your life. I’m also getting a sense you’re putting more emphasis in your friendships. This is going to be a little deep.

For some of you, you may find the love you were missing within yourself through friendships/community. As in, the romantic love you thought would ‘fill’ the hole is not it. It was actually platonic/communal love that you craved. For other’s the love for yourself due to, soul searching’, basically rediscovering yourself.

Overall this is mainly due to people, mostly romantic, not being compatible with you. Like I have a feeling — during the summer time there will be in-depth soul searching. No, it’s not the ‘hippie’ type thing! Unless it could be we never know lol, it’s actually more of transformation of the old you. You’re entering a new part in your life.

Okay this is specific. I don’t know what Valentine’s Day did for you all but for some reason I think their gift to you made you realize ‘yeah…I’m breaking up with you’. Now this isn’t to scare anyone! This is like a 0.1% of you. I just feel like this could be how 0.1% of you will ‘entire’ this transformation.

To recap; despite the way you were treated and the people who were in your life. You’re now rediscovering yourself, your worth, questioning and finding the love you needed. You’re still open to love (in general) but more selective with the people. You’re now or will be letting love find you. Again you’re taking the Broseph approach lol. Have fun and good luck, I’m very proud of my pile 2’s :) 💕.

Pile 3

[ Channeled Messages: ‘If soulmates do exist they’re not found. They are made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and they work on building a relationship’ ; Release your mind, don’t become the hurt that they hurt you’ ; ‘Picture a wave. In the ocean. You can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through. And it's there. And you can see it, you know what it is. It's a wave. And then it crashes in the shore and it's gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be, for a little while. You know it's one conception of death for Buddhists: the wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it's supposed to be.’

Additional Messages: 222, 232, 234, Cat, Curiosity, Watch Your Mouth by The Backseat Lovers; Cold Hands; Burning Candle, Wedding Fantasies, Prayer Beads; Traditions; Selenite; Blue Calcite; Rivers and Roads by the Head and the Hearts; ‘Might Have Been The One Vibe’, The Good Place. ]

Cards: Page of Swords; Empress (Rx); Tower. Ace of Diamonds; 10 of Spades; Ace of Clubs. White Dress; Devotion.

Pile 3, I want to say I’m so sorry for what you went through. There’s a sense of heartache and devastation that recently happened. I heard you might have gotten a call or this sudden new broke your heart. A part of you may felt drawn to pile 1 so if you did then please check that out.

My cat also wants to say hello. She’s actually hanging out with your cards. A message popped up in my head: you are protected. I also want to add that your pile is a long read.

For a lot of you I feel that this is devastating. You may have spent all this time nourishing, putting the effort, and pouring your love into something that wasn’t ’worth it at the end’.

For some, not all, I don’t like to bring this up and be this type of reader…but the news may have been about cheating. As for the others the relationship could have ended because of a huge dealbreaker; like traveling or different values. There could have even been a conversation about money that led to an argument.

Either way, there was a sudden break(up) and now there is grief. I’m not getting so much as to how to help. I think this reading is more about acknowledging your grief and a reminder that you will find like minded people.

Another thing; you may feel anger as well. It’s like a simmered anger. It’s there but simmering…it’s hot yet it constantly murmurs. It feels as if it could be towards everyone. For some it may even be towards the world. But for all it feels as if this anger is directed to yourself.

Okay there’s a big select of you that might have been in a long term relationship. I’ve been tiptoeing around this but it feels like you were so close and then this happened, and now what the fuck, right? Basically the rug was ripped from under you. It just feels like sudden devastation.

I’m not going to feed into your anger and your grief. I am certainly not going to bypass this either by singing Kumbaya and lighting up an incense.

Instead, let’s acknowledge this. You may be feeling angry, scared, all of the grieving symptoms. That is okay! This is going to be hard to hear but grief doesn’t fade. It stays, it lingers, it’s there. The only thing we can do is feel it but do our best to not let grief consume us. We just have to take it day by day in little doses.

This may even be a reminder to pour in that love into yourself. No this isn’t some “self love heals all” type of thing. I believe [the right and healthy] community/friendships can help you out here, but let’s not forget to pour into ourselves too. This can be by creating a safe space for yourself. It could be doing things you always wanted to do. It can be gifting yourself something or simply journaling and crying it out with ice cream.

I also want to say the love you poured into that relationship is no waste. It’s proof that you are worthy of love, that you are capable of love. You are a reminder that the love you pour is out there. You have so much love to give and now it is time to give that love to yourself. It is also a reminder that this love can also be poured into you by your friends and community.

Another reminder, because it seems to be prominent, anger is a reminder of your boundaries. Anger reminds us what we fight for, what we need to feel protected. Anger is a boogieman to society, which can become it if not handled in a healthy way. However, Anger can be justice if you learn to dig deep at the root. This is all I have for you today. I wish you the best 💕

If you liked this reading please like, comment, reblog, and share. And if you want to further support me then tips are appreciated on: Ko-Fi ; PayPal ; Venmo ; Cashapp

#pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a picture #tarot #tarot pick a card #tarotblr #tarot readers of tumblr #astro community #astrology #singles reading #love reading #love pick a card #singles pick a card #tarotreading #tarotlove

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olderthannetfic · 18 days

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I love Ao3 donation season because it truly brings out the most unhinged people.

Suddenly, these people whose blogs revolved only around fandom and memes turn into the most vocal activists, the most involved protesters. There's not a single cause they don't root for, there's not a GoFundMe they don't advertise.

Oh, you think you can donate 10 dollars to a site that provides you with hours of free entertainment and doesn't ask you to sell your soul through data mining? Well, then you should kill yourself and go to hell, because look at these *insert request of money from someone you've never heard of before, isn't part of your online social group, and you share nothing with* causes need it more!!!

I'm far more likely to donate to my mutuals/people I follow/causes I care about than random people (especially when the request comes from Tumblr users, the same breed that gave us people pretending to have AIDS and of being attacked in a mall bathroom for shipping the wrong ship).

But how dare we enjoy life when JonBenet Ramsey's killer is still on the loose, am I right?

Yuuup.

And half the time, the gofundmes they link to are dodgy as fuck. I don't reblog e-begging almost ever. I barely post about organizations fundraising, aside from OTW and maybe the Internet Archive once in a blue moon. Very occasionally, I'll find someone's "I'm a disabled, trans POC" post compelling enough that I'll donate myself, but I'm still not posting it here.

Mostly, I don't post such things because if I did, I'd never stop getting pestered to post more. But a lot of it is that many, many, many of them smell of bad money management of the "Oopsie, I spent all my money going to a con and buying merch! Now rent is due!" or "I adopted 57 disabled pets I don't have the means to care for!" (Yes, I have known many fans of both types. And all of them needed to beg again a month later.) I don't doubt that something is wrong in their life, but I just don't think it's money well spent. I'd rather donate to an organization or, on rare occasions, somebody I'm pretty sure is telling the truth about being from a poor-ass country where my few bucks might actually make an impact. That's not the majority of posts that I see.

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sturdy-nerdy-stitchery · 3 days

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Help Secure Stable Housing for Schluter Family. Click link below.

https://gofund.me/116f91d8

❤️Please read! Please share! This is my BFF Bestie! who is asking for help!❤️

I know I don't use tumblr very much these days, and when I do, it's when I need something. This time, it's my best friend, and I REALLY need this to spread! My best friend is nearing an eviction notice (due to circumstances beyond their control) unless they can come up with $4,800USD to catch up and cover rent.❤️ I'm doing what I can, therefore...𝙈𝙮 𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙥 𝙞𝙨 25% 𝙤𝙛𝙛! 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙧 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙙𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙘𝙝𝙡𝙪𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙂𝙁𝙈! Go get yourself some stitching!

(or donate at my Ko-Fi account at ko-fi.com/sturdynerdystitchery because there, you can get free patterns!)❤️

I have 3,200 followers. That's a wide audience. Those followers have dozens, if not thousands of followers. That's an even wider audience. People who have been in those shoes, can empathize, and can donate. Even if you can't donate, sharing is free and even THAT helps reach more people.

I've seen the community come together. I've seen other communities come together. Can we surpass that $4,800 goal? I sure hope so! 💰I've already done the first $100 donation...anyone want to match that?💰 We've all been, or know someone who has been, in those struggle shoes.

⭐TLDR: Husband's job started slashing everyone's pay by HALF, when they were already barely getting by. Sara found work, but it only pays minimum wage ($14.42) while she is doing her 6 weeks of training. Of which, she has one more month left. They are struggling so much, and now. Eviction notice. They have 2 kids, 2 dogs, and a kitty who just birthed kittens 2 weeks ago!

Please keep reading to hear the full story. Please!!! I don't want to lose my best friend! 😭😭😭 (plus, you'll get treated to kitten pictures)

This isn't a case of "Well, maybe they should have...." because those sentiments are NOT what is needed right now! Those sentiments DO NOT help! It's not a matter of giving up Starbucks. It's about a shitty employer who cares nothing for it's employees.

Donating, no matter how big or how small, makes a difference. Even if you can't donate, sharing is free, it helps reach a wider audience, and that in and of itself makes a difference.

I know that often, when a GoFundMe comes into a feed, it's less likely to get shared if you don't know the person. Well, I know this person. Sara, her husband David, and their 2 kids moved to Colorado a year ago. Along with their Golden Retriever, Mia, their Brindle pupper, Kelce, their kitty who just had 3 kittens. Aren't they cute!

We became friends over the summer. Since then, she has wormed her way into my heart and for the first time since WE moved to Colorado in 2019, I can gratefully say that I found a best friend BFF bestie who would be my ride or die, and vice versa.

She was living with her father in order to save up for their own place. She had to move out because it was a horribly abusive situation and she had to get her family away for their safety.

They found a house to rent, and have been there several months.

A few weeks after they moved in, they get notice that her husband's job is slashing everyone's pay in half. DoorDashing to make up the difference wasn't doing it. Countless job applications, and her husband is still struggling to find work.

She found work, however. They only pay minimum wage while she is doing her 6 weeks of training (Bullshit, I know). She still has 1 month to go.

They have a 2 year old and a 12 year old. The pets. Their everything.

That everything could be gone because we live in a society that treats people so unfairly. They might have to move back to Missouri.

She is waiting on the mail today. Waiting for that eviction notice, and it breaks my heart into a million pieces. I cried this morning. She is a good friend, a good mom, a good provider. Her husband is hard working, a stand up man. Work gave him the shit end of the stick.

She is panicking. She says she has never been more afraid in her life. She doesn't have to say it, but I know she feels broken, and defeated.

I refuse to lose my best friend to circumstances that she had no control over. Her husband is still looking for a new job. Even if she looked for a new job while currently working, and happened to find one...it still won't help cover what they need.

My heart is breaking.💔 So much. I know that some might think it selfish of me to use my social media for personal reasons, but this reason is important to me. This reason is my best friend.

So, pleeeeaaaaseee! even if it's only a dollar. Or even better, if someone is rolling in dough and can drop the entire $4,800!

#cross stitch #sailor moon #cross stitch patterns #Cats #Cross Stitching #photography #etsy #Colorado #Colorado Springs #x stitch

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needlekind · 4 months

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hey pals!! my community band is doing their annual fundraiser—we're a completely free music school and a registered nonprofit, and funds go to things like maintaining the instruments we loan out (try out music without the huge investment of a whole instrument!!!), space rentals, insurance, and so on. we perform for free all over the greater boston area—that's been in parks and the street but also museum events and community block parties—and accept and teach musicians of every skill level, again for free; i literally rocked up like "i've never played an instrument in my life" and they were like "great, here's a trombone, here's how to make a noise on it, now go make soem music" and it CHANGED MY LIFE. to entice you to donate, i'm offering crayon doodles!!!

donate at least $10 and shoot me a receipt and i'll do a crayon doodle of basically whatever you want, but you HAVE to have a visual reference—this can be something like a picrew + a few written details to add corrections or clarity if you don't have a full drawn reference or photo or whatever!! multiple characters are okay within reason; maybe consider shooting a little more cash over if you're gonna ask for that though.

the gofundme is here!!! you should leave a little 💖 in the comment if you don't have anything else to add because i wanna see a bunch of them. please send me an ask or use messenger to send me your references!!!!

thanks everyone!!

#art commissions #crayon #artists on tumblr #independent music #activist music

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primamchorus · 3 months

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just got off the call with my parents.

my dad's motor functions aren't super, that much is obvious. i think it kind of eats at him that this is where he's at right now. but i took time to remind him of this:

"you told me that every day, someone's 100% looks different than it did the day before. if this is your 100%, then this is your 100%. you're doing great. you don't need to push yourself past that 100%."

the speech therapist wants to get the tube in his nose out of him tomorrow if they can. my step mother wants to make regular calls since she's aware that my partner and i can't really make the drive to where they are. so that'll be something i do regularly til he's out.

my partner and i have been talking as well: once our contract is up this year for our apartment, we're going to move back in with my parents. it's been difficult for them for a while, and if we can live down there and help out with whatever we can, then that's what we're going to do. new job opportunities are developing quickly in the area, too, so my partner and i should be able to find something hopefully soon after we move in down there.

my commissions will stagnate a little bit because of this, because as i'm on call, i'm not focusing on art. though i'm going to continue to do what i can in a timely fashion. my parents are also wanting to start a gofundme, so even if maybe my commissions are too pricey, but people want to chip in, that'll be an option.

#rambles

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fizzingwizard · 1 year

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Today on things I IMMEDIATELY turned off, lol...

But first, props to tumblr for at least making sure we all knew about the change, not just silently adding it and making some random tumblr user release a psa. And for making it customizable/easy to disable.

I get how this could be fun. I hate blaze, but if you've got cash to burn and you really think so-and-so's video of a hamster in a party hat is the funniest thing ever, sure, it's your money, waste it how you want. Better to throw some coins to tumblr for hamsters in party hats than treat us to more mainstream ad content.

Of course, out of all the blazed posts that have ended up on my dash, very few have been hamsters-in-party-hats worthy. Most have just been stuff I didn't care about or something mildly insulting. But maybe the hamsters-in-party-hats crowd just don't have money.

Biggest concern is whether you get to consent first to someone else choosing to blaze your post. Tumblr says if someone blazes our post we'll be informed, and have the option to cancel it. It's an opt out instead of opt in. That's what bugs me. I hate opt out. I'd rather that if someone wanted to blaze my post, I had to definitively say "Yes." What if someone blazes my post and I'm in the hospital and don't see it before it's live? You CAN pull it after, which is great, but why not skip that whole song and dance by requiring people to opt in before the post can go live?

Lol. I don't agree. But we'll see.

Also disagree. Blazing is not the same as reblogging. I can't control what other people reblog which ends up on my dash, but I CAN choose who I follow, and if their content becomes something I'm not interested in, I can unfollow them. Only way out of Blaze is to cough up money for ad-free browsing. A while ago I tried blocking blogs that put blazed posts on my dash, but the blazed posts continued to appear. Maybe that has been fixed, I don't know.

The sticking point really is a matter of consent. I've been on tumblr for ten years. I don't freaking remember most of what I posted back then. There's probably something embarrassing someone who really disliked me could dig up if they wanted to. If this option MUST be opt-out, then I wish at least all posts made before the change were opt-in only. If the approval process before someone is allowed to blaze your post is more robust than I anticipate, I won't mind as much though. Basically just let people have the MAIN say in whether or not their post gets blazed, instead of treating the informing of the OP like it's a courtesy.

Tumblr should keep in mind that a lot of original content here is diary-like, personal, meant for a small group of followers who feel comfortable with each other. It's not a site many people use to make their BRAND. That's ALSO one of the good things about tumblr - I don't sit around worrying about how fake everyone is like I do almost anywhere else. That's why I'm not interested in this feature. I can see it being used for good - blazing a gofundme for someone in need, for example - but I just don't want to wade through even more cringe I didn't ask for on my dash. Sigh.

Anyway, hopefully everyone who doesn't want this opts out without a hitch (for side blogs too).

#tumblr

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someoneimsure · 1 year

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As someone who was scammed out of a lot of money from a tumblr scammer, I thought I should share my experience so no one else gets fooled into losing some much needed cash.

How to identify scammers:

1. They will create a brandnew blog and only reblog maybe five or so posts to prove legitimacy.

2. They have a pinned donation post with the text copy-paste from GoFundMe or other websites, as well as stolen pictures from real campaigns.

3. They always link to a paypal account, almost never a GoFundMe account. Check paypal name with known scammers online or on tumblr.

4. They send out asks, copy and pasted, to as many people as possible, especially those who have been suckers before, requesting that you respond to the ask privately and reblog their pinned post.

When donating or promising donations in a week’s time, beware of this behavior:

5. They complain about tumblr taking their posts down “for no reason” hence why they are contacting you under a new url.

6. They share with you a video of their animal with the video mostly in darkness for various reasons--usually with the animal making noises. (For cats, natural yowling for food. For dogs, usually from dog videos online. Sometimes videos of actual injured animals, with injuries given by the scammer themselves.)

7. They claim to be grateful for your donation, promising to contact you when their pet is better.

8. Literally a day later, the animal is better.

9. They will try to get you to reblog someone else’s paypal donation link who they will claim to have shared some of their money with and who is also a scammer.

10. They will never speak to you again after the above.

I have since recouped my loses via other means so don’t worry about me. Just be careful of any ask that request you reblog something and also respond privately.

If you find someone who does this, please report them to tumblr, post an image of the ask if possible so others are aware of it (some blogs are keeping record of #scams and #scammers), and delete the original ask (only answer it and call it out if you want them to never speak to you again).

Thank you for your time! Stay safe! <3

#scams #scammers

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aeide-thea · 1 year

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like—sorry to harp on this, i'm just still thinking about it—i'm probably more pro-piracy than some people, but i do feel like 'pirating the work of an impoverished disabled trans woman with stage 4 cancer' (see prev post) is. probably a point at which you should rethink what you're up to??? like. i would be thrilled to be told i'm wrong and actually mira bellwether did say at some point that passing her zine around for free was chill (although frankly even then i think there's an argument to be made that it's good to toss some money to marginalized small-time creators whose work you've enjoyed or otherwise benefited from, particularly when they're in dire circumstances and actively fundraising), but like. in the absence of permission from her it really feels bad to me.

also like. this is one of those things where like. it's hard to decide who's really at fault here, bc the OP of the previous post is herself a transfem who i don't think was initially aware of bellwether's situation, and like, if you're just passing around the direct link to the file on transreads.org (that maybe you yourself were passed by someone else, even) you may not actually be aware you're reading something pirated? so at first i was inclined to be most mad at transreads, and be like, ugh, the least they could do would be to include a link to the author's gofundme! but then i went and checked and it turned out they do, actually, if you search for the zine on their site and don't just get linked directly to their copy of the file; so then it's like, okay, maybe really OP's the one to blame, since the link she included in her post bypassed their splash page; but then, as i said above i doubt she was initially aware bellwether was ill, and seems to have subsequently boosted a reblog that included bellwether's gofundme.

so ultimately i think it's like—forget blame, that's beside the point really. if we're pointing fingers we're busy with that and not with helping. but i do think everyone passing that post around (which is thousands of people, by now) should probably make a followup post passing the hat for the author, and make a donation themselves while they're at it, if they possibly can; i did. (and maybe we all ought to be thinking a little harder about giving back to counterculture artists and thinkers before they get sick, while we're at it.)

#anyway it does just in general seem like good practice to do a quick google before reblogging things #i don't always but i do decently often #and a lot of the time you find like. the creator's trans now so you ought to be crediting them differently #the creator's turned out to be some sort of perpetrator so that may change yr feelings wrt how you want to talk abt them‚ at the very least #the creator's in serious need and could use a signal boost #the creator's not credited at all and should be #the assertion's been totally debunked #there's been a critical update to the developing news story #etc etc #anyway it's real easy to forget people are people & context is evolving when yr drifting about in the eternal glossy present of the interne #but like. worth *trying* to remember. i'm often bad at it too but. worth trying.

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tj-crochets · 1 year

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Hey y’all! Two questions for you: 1. are we allowed to auction things off for charity on tumblr as long as the money does not go through tumblr? (i.e. bid in the replies, but the money is sent to a charity/gofundme/something like that and once the winner sends me proof they made the donation I send them the plushie) 2. if I am going to maybe auction something off to raise money for a friend’s medical bills (if I can figure out how), would y’all prefer that be a fandom thing or a non-fandom thing? 2b. Wait, no, separate question: should it be for a finished item (which at the moment would mean Jack Skellington as pretty much my only available fandom item, though I have a variety of other non fandom plushies) or for a commission where you get to pick the thing and I make it?

#the person behind the yarn #tj asks weird questions #a fellow disabled crafter has some unexpected medical bills and I want to help #and I will donate but I also want to auction something if I can?

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wikiangela · 1 year

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911 lone star 4x05

it seems that the season is finally picking up, and this is my fave episode so far 😂

more thoughts and spoilers ahead!

jfc Rob Lowe is so good in comedic roles fr, I think that's why I enjoy Owen now, because he gets funny stuff 😂 that scene was so funny 😂

the boy calling about the math problem was so adorable, and Grace's reaction was even more adorable, she's so fucking cute I can't 😩😍😍 that smile with a nose scrunch??? 😍😍😍😍

"not a math whiz, just a math fan" SAME I love math, I miss it, why did I go study English at uni lmao

we should see more of the 911 dispatchers, like we do in the og - like, I'd love to at least learn like 3 names of something 🙄😂

ngl, I have no memory of this paramedic they're talking about 😂 (also, the music in this scene is kinda loud isn't it? like the drums or whatever? idk, it makes my head hurt lol)

waaait, I knew it was a more Marjan focused episode from the promo, but... someone complained about her to HR???? what the fuck about, she's a delight 😂

oh my god the lady from the mobile home?? over the word "crazy" when Marjan saved her life?? seriously?

we're focusing a lot on Linus, huh - I bet something bad is about to happen (clearly something's wrong with the mom, and I'm anxious waiting to see what haha)

jfc it was one stupid word, that people used to throw around at anything and anyone, jfc I don't wanna be one of those "why are people these days so sensitive" bitches but... she saved you life lady, leave her alone

I love seeing more Marjan but I feel so bad for her

I almost forgot about this dude since the beginning tbh, I'm enjoying this episode a lot haha - no idea what his deal is but it's stressing me out

I am loving getting more of the dispatch - if this is how this season continues, I might change my opinion about it (which is that this season is kinda whatever so far, but maybe just the first four episodes were bc this is good)

I kinda like Marjan and Owen's dynamic, this is fun (pls give me more Owen and TK tho, I miss them, and I'm always a sucker for a father son relationship 😂)

this couple is so ridiculous, jfc, Owen's right, how is that guy not in jail 😂 and they want her to post an apology for calling her "crazy"? and tag their gofundme? lady, you are fucking crazy 😂😂

they're blaming the fire department, aka people who rescued her life, for destroying their home??? that dude fucking took it - oh my god they're insane and it's infuriating but also kinda funny 😂

I love Grace and Judd and I missed them, we barely saw them the last couple of episodes haha (and Charlie is the most adorable baby 😍😍)

thank God for Grace and her instincts about what's happening, and that Judd nudged her to go over there right away

also, Tommy is amazing and I love her and her friendship with Grace

Paul "notices things" - I completely forgot about that because it hasn't been referenced since like s1 - pls give him an actual storyline that includes all aspects of him, including this superpower of his 😂

Paul and Marjan are one of my fave friendships, they're really ride or die's, I just love them (also, I just love the way Paul speaks if that makes sense? I'm weird about voices and cadence and pronunciation idk 😂)

sooo, Asha's sticking around, right? 😂 they wouldn't have her know Paul from way back when if they weren't starting something here right? 😂 I'm not complaining, pls give Paul a storyline, and if it's finally a good love interest, even better haha

I'm sorry, but making such a big deal over the word "crazy" is literally so ridiculous I can't help but laugh

nooo, don't tell me she's really leaving

I'm crying

not Nancy and Mateo being the parent friends 😭😂

like, she's not gone forever is she? I'm sure she'll be back eventually... right?

okay, promo: I am so excited for this bomber storyline, it seems more interesting than the first 4 episodes of the season (like, I loved the Carlos episode - 4x04 but like... eh)

so, I loved this episode, please tell me this is when the season picks up finally, I was finally engaged from the beginning until the end, and enjoyed all of it

I did miss Carlos, and he's my fave character, but also, like I mentioned a lot already, the tarlos storyline so far with Iris etc was so fucking boring and it took a lot of time in those first episodes (and it's crazy I'm even saying that because I always say to give Carlos all the screen time 😂) so it was nice to kinda have a break from them haha and I'm so glad we're over the whole FBI thing

now, I adore Grace and I loved her storyline this eps, it was great and interesting

I feel like Asha's gonna stick around and I'm excited if they're gonna do anything with her and Paul (or just fucking give Paul some more screen time ffs)

I loved that we got more of other dispatchers aside from Grace and please keep it up, I wanna know them like we know Josh and Sue and Linda, for them to be around you know? 😂

and Marjan.... I don't believe she left for good, and I don't wanna believe that, and I get her reasoning, because fuck those people, but also.... this was just so ridiculous, do people really get that offended over the word crazy? I know it's offensive or whatever but since when it's a slur? 😂

anyway, it was a great episode for Marjan, loved seeing her more and her struggle with this whole situation, and her and Owen actually have a great dynamic, wish we'd seen more of that (if they didn't give 90% of screen time to Owen alone 🙄 I like him but sometimes it's like.... there are people who are more interesting that I wanna find out about lol)

genuinely can't wait for the next one, and it's the first time this season I'm actually looking forward to the next episode, I hope it's gonna only get better now haha

#911 ls spoilers #911 lone star spoilers #911 ls #911 lone star #911 ls season 4 #911 ls 4x05 #thoughts while watching #episode commentary #long post

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3g0st · 1 year

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root party!

That green is UV reactive. Anyways, so this is REALLY interesting. the guy I was selling my tablet to, on Ebay, sent a long spheal about his angst in the creative parts of the internet, upset about the state of things. He picked up that I was an artist selling for bills I guess and went on a rant:

"I understand. I just paid for the tablet. Will take good care of it, and if you ever want need back, let me know, I will return it to you without requesting any money. As artists, we deserve to be recognized for our contributions. I used both Patreon and gofundme throughout the years to support the educational content I created and my art. In the end it wasn’t enough to go full tilt into art, so I created a photography company (failed when iPhones came) then a landscaping company. Wall St is wrong. It created an ecosystem where labor is squeezed for the profit of a few. And the who thing is so ossified that even when I get my math degree, I won’t be working in it. Instead, I am building a parallel ecosystem where the focus of the companies is excellent service and the betterment of it’s workers. And 10% of net profits HAVE to go toward making the world better. I choose to stand in the breach and stem the rot costuming our world. I don’t expect to change much, but I am trying."

Well, he sounds pretty earnest, but maybe in that rich person kind of way where they desperately want to help but don't know how. He marked the tablet as received in his next message and said "Keep it if you want" but I sent it with this painting and a hand written letter saying I understand how he feels.

It's deeper than "cell phone bad". It's that the core of humans expressing themselves and sharing that shouldn't require branding or such a concentrated, algorithm, optics focus. It's a feeling of worthlessness and helplessness if creativity is native to you but if you don't want to bastardize it with capitalism. It's a feeling of discomfort seeing your peers do it anyways and succeed but never quite enough to comfort.

It's how they always keep us online as assets. It's how we become the products that improve the returns on these corporation's evaluations, instead of humans that should be sharing and growing with each other. It sucks the fucking life out of the creative process.

I didn't say all that, but something similar, plus that I can't keep it, my mom didn't raise me to do business that way (ironic, I know). I said that tablets will come and go, that I'm going to focus on my traditional art and scavenge supplies and get even more tricky with their use if I have to.

It fit so well into what I was thinking about during the original painting (and my nth dimension mushroom trip from nov 3rd), it really gave me pause. It was interesting to see this phenomenon even from an older generation American who (i assume) has means. He sounds so forlorn though, it seemed right to send a painting too.

Also there's a fucking hair stuck on there, lmao, shit, the things you see only AFTER taking photo, amirite?

WIP post with my original thoughts

#abstract #contemporaryart #cave painting #roots #watercolor #ink #acrylic ink #storytime

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neuroborreliosis · 4 months

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i guess this is a life update. not a poem, or whatever.

things are going pretty well, actually. i can't quite believe it, because i've grown so accustomed to instability, to shit going up in flames, and to the emotional turmoil that comes with all that junk.

but no for real, things are pretty swell. i'm living in a house (rent free!) with two of the people i cherish most - bestie koala & my now partner, dillon. they both uplift me, they both make me feel so loved and cared for and at home. i believe they feel the same way about me. i believe we all feel that way about each other. it's litty! we take care of each other and cry together and laugh together, all the time. we joke about how we are gonna live to be 120 because of how much we laugh. we share a mutual obsession with the game suika. we dumpster probably over 90% of our food and make dank pasta sauces with lots of rescued veggies in 'em.

i am on the road to healing from lyme disease. with the indispensable help of the homies mentioned above, i've got a gofundme up and running. the gofundme is to raise money for lyme treatment at a place called the stram center for integrative medicine. the stram center is renowned for its holistic approach to treating lyme disease - they believe that the most effective way to treat chronic, long-term lyme infections is to combine long-term antibiotics with a regimen of medicinal herbs, medical-grade supplements (including probiotics) and hyperbaric oxygen therapy. based on all the research i have done myself, this seems to be the case. this twofold approach, which aims to 1. kill the bacteria and 2. repair damage that has already been done by the bacteria seems to be the way to go.

i am awaiting bloodwork results, which (fingers crossed) should be sent to katie, my provider at the center, this week. once she receives my recent bloodwork, she's going to start me on two oral antibiotics. we'll see how i respond to those, and if they're not proving effective, i'll be given an iv port and switched to iv antibiotics. hopefully, i won't need to get the port, but if i do, i'm fine with it. it'll be a little annoying and will probably snag on my clothes and stuff, but at this point i am willing to do whatever it takes to get better.

after i've been on the antibiotics for a short bit, maybe a week or two, maybe even less, i'm going to start hyperbaric oxygen therapy (hbot). hbot has proven to be extremely effective at helping heal the neurological symptoms of lyme disease. basically, the pressurized oxygen helps the medicine i'll be taking actually reach the parts of the brain that are riddled with lyme bacteria, because on their own, most antibiotics have a hard time crossing the blood-brain barrier, and even those that can cross the barrier sometimes have a hard time targeting all the specific areas that need targeting up there. i'll be doing 90 minutes hbot sessions 5 days a week for a couple of months, and if that proves effective, i'll go down to 3 sessions per week, and eventually i'll stop once it seems like my neurological symptoms have (maybe hopefully???) are gone.

i'll be on a regimen of medicinal herbs and supplements. not terribly many; katie is sure to prescribe me herbs and suppplements that are critical and not just a bunch of superfluous stuff, since she knows i'm not rich (which, based on their prices and the way that office looks, many of their patients probably are). so far, she's prescribed me 3 medical-grade probiotics, which i'll take to counter the negative side effects of intensive antibiotic treatment. i'll start taking these 3 days prior to starting the antibiotics. she also prescribed me glutathione, an antioxidant which has proven extremely helpful in the treatment of chronic lyme, as it helps the body detoxify, something that will come in handy once i start antibiotics and (hopefully) those spirochetes are dropping like flies. she prescribed me magnesium citrate for my constipation (caused by suboxone) and extended-release melatonin for my insomnia. both of those i've already started taking, and they've both been helping immensely. once i'm on the antibiotics, she'll be prescribing me a few more supplements, including a supplement designed to target biofilms. as the name implies, a biofilm is a film containing spirochetes and other bacteria, and the spirochetes form these as a protective mechanism, because they are much harder to kill off and flush from the body in this form. she'll also be prescribing me some medicinal herbs, some of which i can't recall the names of right now. one i do recall, though, because i've tried it in the past (and have felt the effects) is japanese knotweed. japanese knotweed is a potent herbal antibiotic with the ability to cross the blood-brain barrier, making it incredibly useful in treating neurological lyme disease. when i tried it on my own, i felt a herxheimer reaction, which is how i knew it was working. experiencing a herxheimer reaction (or herxing) is basically feeling an acute flare-up of symptoms/inflammation in the body, and it's caused by the die-off of spirochetes. when spirochetes die, they release chemicals that cause this inflammation/flare-up before they are flushed from the body.

a note on supplements: if katie feels i could benefit from iv therapy, she'll prescribe me an iv push of whatever it is she feels i need, like glutathione, for example, or any number of vitamins/nutrients the body might need.

the last aspect of my treatment will be nutritional counseling from the nutritionist at the stram center. i saw her once, last year when i first initiated care there. she'll help me figure out what foods i can eat that will support this healing process, and she'll help me do so on a food stamp budget.

in addition to all this, which i'll be getting at the stram center, i've also reinitiated therapy with fran. it's been awesome, and i feel like i finally have the material stability and mental space to start working on my mental health stuff again. i'll also be looking for a chiropractor in the area who is knowledgeable about hypermobile eds (which i likely have, but need to get genetic testing for - a story for another update!) and i'll potientially be joining a gym that has a pool and sauna and hottub, since the pool will allow me to exercise without harming my joints, and the hottub and sauna will give me access to much-needed heat therapy.

i think that's all i got for now, but i'll keep posting updates into the void!

#lyme #lyme disease #chronic lyme #chronic illness #spoonie #lymie

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marlowe1-blog · 4 months

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Job Chapter 22

Eliphaz the Temanite gets nasty

A few years ago, I was writing a story where religious fanatics participate in a genocide and before they start, they spend the night talking about Eliphaz the Temanite. At the time, I was unfamiliar with this guy. He was just one of those Bible characters that pops up in trivia questions. In the story, he was a worldbuilding tool. The story takes place in the future where not only is there a group that practices three way marriages in regards to the trinity, but there's a currently obscure Bible character who becomes as famous as King David or Jesus. At least for these awful people.

In retrospect, I'm even more happy to have included that detail (hell, maybe I'll sell the story one of these days) because Eliphaz is nasty. His first message to Job was the ever shitty "Everything happens for a reason" followed by a tone deaf "the wicked will suffer, just you wait" and now because Job has annoyed him, he outright tells Job that he's wicked.

So here's how it starts. "Can a man be of use to God, A wise man benefit Him?" (JPS). Other translations read that second line as a wise man benefiting himself. Either way, this is a very strange way to start the argument. Eliphaz is saying that God doesn't care either way if you are righteous. Give money to the orphans. Apologize to your aunt for that thing you did. See a stranger's gofundme and just give them money even though you don't like them? Good for you. God doesn't get much out of it, but good for you.

So it seems like Eliphaz is saying that Job shouldn't be so concerned with his righteous deeds, but if he really wants to think of himself as righteous, he can fuck off because Job also exacted pledges, calls in debt, refuses to give food to the hungry, etc.

Eliphaz doesn't know if he's telling the truth, but going by the average behavior, sure he probably is telling the truth. I mean who gives money to every homeless person who asks for it? Do you grow your own food? Eliphaz is working off Good Place rules where every infraction (intentional or unintentional) is a point taken away and another reason to end up in the Bad Place (only there's really no after life in this book. All the afterlife stuff comes when Xianity co-opts it).

"A flood of waters covers you" (11) which seems like a reference to the Flood. Certainly several of the commentators saw it in this way. Which brings us to God being lofty and the insinuation that Job saying that God seemed to be ignoring everyone meant that he didn't think that God was paying attention.

God's away. God's away. God's away on business.

So part 2 of this harangue seems like a departure from "surely you did something wrong, and I know that you aren't feeding all the widows that ask for bread" and gets right into the God is lofty and runs the world in a just way. Just look at the older wicked generations. They didn't believe that God had anything to do with them (deists! We got some deists in this book) and look what happened. They didn't appreciate anything and boom, they got consumed with fire.

So Eliphaz has reference the Flood and Sodom. Damn, Eliphaz, it's like you know this book enough to be making references.

Part three is the sermon. Yeah, I know. You're a wicked sinner. God is big and powerful and smashes the wicked sinners. But part three is the "be close to him and wholehearted and good things will come" These are all just promises of how things will be great when Job "returns" to Shaddai. Job should disregard silver and ophir gold and only regard God as treasure.

Then you will pay your vows, and feel the light of God and everything will be brilliant. Isn't that nice? Even Job will be cleansed of his guilt.

Seriously, Eliphaz the Temanite sounds like the worst kind of Christian (or Muslim or Jew, but you see a lot more of this chatter in Christianity) with the GUILT GUILT GUILT you must have done something wrong all pushed on the person. And only by accepting this GUILT will you be able to see how God is AMAZING and how you'll be totally happy.

This kind of thinking has fucked up so many people. Hell, I even got hung up on this bullshit in my 20s after breaking up with a long term girlfriend and finally getting serious about becoming Jewish only ending up in a community that was very concerned with conformity and self-righteousness and wearing the uniform. I was suddenly ashamed of everything that I had ever done in my life.

Not the usual shame and guilt that I had as a child trying to negotiate Mom's moods and her neediness and the fact that she put everything on me at a young age to where I was trying to take care of her long before I could take care of myself (and convincing myself that love should be painful to be worthwhile. I was so stupid) but that certainly prepared me for the rightwing Orthodox Judaism I was trying to go along with.

But this isn't just a religious thing. One of the scariest chapters in Mao's biography is when he had all of his followers "confess their sins" repeatedly and also inform on their fellow Communists. After months of this treatment, lively intelligent idealists became brainwashed foot soldiers, unwilling to think anything that might be "counterrevolutionary" and that's only an extreme example of one type of thinking. I worry more about tankies than i do about fascists, only because I'm leftwing and even a socialist when I don't see what other Socialists are saying about Jews, religious Jews or Zionists.

Eliphaz the Temanite is a shithead. He's a fucking evil bastard who is trying to make Job feel like shit before telling Job that there is hope. That's the brainwashing way. It goes easier if the people coming to the cult are already messed up and insecure, but whatever self-worth they might have must be destroyed before they can be "built up" into whatever their abusers want them to be.

Of course, abused spouses experience this on a smaller scale. And one of the things that domestic violence centers hear is "I don't really think I need your services because they aren't that bad..." but then tell about the relationship in a way that let's everyone but them know that they really are that bad.

One criticism of Christianity is that a God who is so angry at people that he sends them to eternal damnation UNLESS they believe exactly the same way that he wants them to believe is an abusive husband. That's not entirely true, but I'm sure it's true enough to hurt (just like when I told a friend that Wiccans are just white people who saw Dances with Wolves one too many times).

But as far as Eliphaz the Temanite is concerned, God really is that kind of abusive prick. Eliphaz truly is taking his last shot at destroying Job's faith in himself and his perspective and sense of self-worth in order to make him completely dependent on God, particularly the God that Eliphaz envisions.

Thankfully Job tells Eliphaz to fuck off again. And happily, Eliphaz really does fuck off. This is Eliphaz's last speech in the book. At least that's what Wikipedia told me.

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