Tumgik
#but most of them dont walk through our hall
bakugosatoru · 5 months
Note
Just gotta say that the comfort headcanons you did were SO SWEET OMG!!! I'd love to request a romantic fluff scenario with Eijiro Kirishima if you're up to it! Maybe he and y/n are having a picnic date at a park or, going off the scenario you did for Bakugo, he & y/n are going to adopt a puppy 👀
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you as well for being my first request, I love the idea of Kirishima and y/n adopting a puppy! I really hope you enjoy it! (Also worked to keep the reader gender neutral so everyone can enjoy!)
Warnings: None Genre: Romantic Fluff Fic Type: Short Fanfic (1k Words) Fandom: My Hero Academia
Tumblr media
"Crimson?" Kirishima mumbled as you both strolled up to the entrance of the shelter.
"What was that babe?" You ask.
"Oh I was just thinking what we could name the pup." He smiled at you, that gorgeous beaming smile you adored so much, as he opened the door to the shelter for you.
"After you my dear" He bowed dramatically as you giggled, grabbing his hand and dragging him through the door after you.
You were quickly greeted by a lovely older woman who introduced herself as one of the owners of the shelter. She began to lead you both down a row of cages, holding various dogs and cats. Eijiro gripped your hand tightly as he beamed, watching you listen to the lady intently, as she explained all the info about the various dogs. Age, breed, temperament, things like that.
But Eijiro wasn't really listening, all he could do was focus on you, and just how beautiful you looked when you were excited.
You dropped your boyfriends hand momentarily (much to his disappointment) to reach out through the door of one of the enclosures and gently allow one of the dogs to sniff your hand, and petting it gently on the head before moving on to the next one.
As you continued to walk, you reached back to grab Eijiros hand once again but couldn't find it. Turning around you see your boyfriend reading one of the signs next to an enclosure intently.
"That's our oldest resident" The owner of the shelter smiles as she notices which pen Kirishima stopped in front of.
"Been in here for 3 years now" She added as you both walked back to join your boyfriend next to the enclosure. At first you thought the enclosure was empty, until you saw him, sitting, curled up on the tiny dog bed in the corner.
A frail and scared chihuahua.
You started to read the blurb on the side of the enclosure that your boyfriend was so engrossed in. It told the story of this little creature, who had been hit by a car a few years ago and surrendered to the shelter when the owners didn't care to pay the vet bills. You could feel your heart shatter in your chest as you looked at the tiny creature in front of you.
"Can we go say hi to it?" Eijiro asked the shelter employee, his voice softer than usual, as if he didn't want to stress out the poor pup anymore than it already was.
"Of course" She smiled, walking forward to open the door to the enclosure. "Not many folks are interested in our little Scarlet, most people dont come to shelters for older dogs so the poor thing gets overlooked" She spoke sadly as she allowed you both to enter the enclosure. "I'll give you a bit of time to get to know her, just come get me if you need anything" She smiled before walking back down the hall to the office.
Eijiro stepped foward slowly, before crouching down to sit himself on the floor next to the tiny pup.
"Hi Scarlet" Kirishima whispered gently as he reached his hand out, allowing the skittish dog to sniff, before ever so gently beginning to pat the dog on its small head.
"I thought you told me in the car you wanted a 'big, manly dog" You teased as you crouched down next to your boyfriend and the tiny dog, joining them both on the floor.
Kirishima gently scooped Scarlet up and held her tiny body ever so gently in his arms against his muscular frame.
"I don't know, I think surviving a car accident and being all alone for 3 years, and still allowing a stranger to pet you is pretty damn manly if you ask me" He smiled down at the tiny dog, his eyes full of nothing by love and admiration.
God you love this man, no other man could be so strong, so kind and yet so gentle all at the same time, towards every living creature.
"Plus, with a name like Scarlet, I suppose its just meant to be" You smiled, snuggling up next to your boyfriend and reaching out to slowly stroke the small dog in his arms. The dog seemed visibly more calm than when you had first seen him and you felt yourself fall in love with the poor creature every second you spent with it.
"I think this is the one honey" He murmured to you, not taking his eyes off the pup.
"Yea, me too" You smile.
So just like that, you signed the paperwork and walked out of the shelter. You had expected to be leaving with a large Terrier or Retriever or maybe even German Sheppard in tow, but instead you cradled a sleeping Chihuahua in your arms as you headed home, your family having grown by one tiny creature.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bonus
You knocked on your boyfriends office door softly.
"Come on in love" You heard his chair wheel away from his desk as he called out to you happily.
"I'm not interrupting am I?" You asked as you walked into the office, stacked high with Crimson Riot memorabilia and workout equipment. In your arms you cradled Scarlet, you knew how much Kiri loved to see her when he was working.
"Interrupting? My favorite person in the world, bringing me my favorite animal in the world could never be interrupting" He smiled as he planted a kiss on Scarlets fluffy forehead, before pulling you into his lap and kissing you softly.
"Now what could I help you with baby?" He asked, resting his chin on your shoulder as he held tightly to your waist.
"Just wanted to show you something" You giggled as you pulled up an article you had just seen on a hero gossip magazine.
"Look at this" You clicked on an article, a large photo of Kirishima out walking Scarlet that must have been taken by paparazzi recently splashed across the screen with the headline:
'Red Riot bring home Tiny New Sidekick'
Authors note: This is my first time ever writing for a request but I had so much fun writing it and I really hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it anon!
99 notes · View notes
kindnessisweakness2 · 10 months
Text
Delusional - Part 21
“Jax!” Tara called his name in suprise as he gripped her arm and pulled her into an empty waiting room. Jax’s face was like thunder as he slammed the door shut behind them and pulled the blinds closed. “What fucking game are you playing?” He spat at the terrified doctor. “I Dont know what your talking about-” Tara was cut off by Jax’s hand flying out and catching her around the throat, pushing her against the wall. Fear filled her eyes as she saw a different side of her ex lover. This was the side she never thought she would see. The Angry Jax who used to do anything to protect her and their relationship. She only saw the loving Jax who would treat her like she was the most fragile beautiful thing in the world. She felt his hot breath fan across her face as he leaned close to her. “Fucking with my Wife, will bring you nothing but trouble, Dr Knowles. Now i dont know what you are trying to accomplish but let me be clear. You are the past. Delaney is my future. She is carrying my child. My fucking baby. A Legacy Child, that me and every Son from here to Belfast will die to protect. You and me? We had our time and its done. Now in future, when you see my girl, you turn and walk in the other fucking direction. You dont look at her. You dont breathe near her. Me and my family are out of fucking bounds for you. Do you understand?” Tara gasped against his hold as she watched tears fall from his eyes. Words were lost to her, all she could do was nod in agreement. Jax let her go and stepped back as she dropped to the floor. “This is the last time im going to allow you to fuck with my family.We’re Done Tara.” And with that Jax left her in a heap on the cold hospital floor. Storming from the hospital, Jax headed to his moms house. Knocking the door, Jax couldnt explain the relief he felt when Gemma Answered. “Whats happened baby?” That was all it took. Jax burst into sobbs on his moms front door as she wrapped her arms around him for the first time since he was a teenager. There was only one time she had seen him this bad, and its when that little hussy twisted him up and left. Jax spent the night on his moms sofa filling both her and Clay in on what had happened before falling into a restless sleep.
Delaney winced as she opened her eyes. Crying yourself to sleep really does give you a god awful headache. Sliding from under the warmth of her covers she slipped on Jax’s hoodie and made her way down the hall. She really could Murder a coffee but the recent baby news meant she was stuck to a cup of tea instead. She really did not want to risk a damn thing with this pregnancy. Despite what her and Jax are going through, they needed something good and this baby meant a lot to both of them. Jax would be a great Dad, and thats something that she couldnt deny. She hoped he stuck to his word and she would see him Monday, not in the arms of Dr Knowles. Everything yesterday was so hard. Hearing Tara say that shit hurt like hell. Her stepping away gave Jax the freedom and space to choose who he wanted. And even though it was selfish, she wanted him to choose her. To choose their family. “Wow, you really havent changed a bit.” The voice made Delaney drop her mug of tea. No. Why. How. 
Turning around slowly, Delaney made eye contact with Alex. There he was, in the flesh, sat at her and Jax’s kitchen Table. A sinister grin spread across his face as Delaney spotted the gun in his hand. “Miss me Sweetie?”
105 notes · View notes
laniminchanlix · 2 months
Text
Your ours… (Minlix x reader)
Warnings‼️⚠️: overstimulation, edging, intercourse, oral (f and m receiving), riding, anal, rough play, gags, vibrators, bondage, dirty talk, use of pet names: cumslut, baby boy, baby girl, master, sir, slut, kitten. A little angst (if you squint).
(F reader and Minlix) I can make another one with male reader.
Summary: y/n, Minho, and Felix have all been in a relationship since there college days. There has been some ups and downs with it but they love each other with all there hearts would do anything for each other. Minho is the dominant one of the relationship takes care of us, Felix is a switch more towards being a sub, but y/n she gets crazy she is a big switch can dominate anyone easily. One day after a long day of work Felix comes home to see Minho and y/n cuddling on the couch, he tries to talk to them but they are so invested in each other to notice, so him being the brat he is has an outburst on them and says he’s leaving them for good cause they dont love him anymore, he runs out the house and goes to a club for a drink and from then on it gets heated.
————————————————————————
I remember the day we all met like it was yesterday. I was a transfer student to JYP university I came all the way from Australia. My first day was very hectic, I got lost on my first day, I was so embarrassed I could’ve cried anytime. While wandering around the halls I came across two people a boy around my age which I might say he’s very attractive while who he has in front of him is the most drop dead gorgeous girl giggling with the boy. He has her pinned against the locker smirking and whispering to her. When she was giggling she turned her head my way and we made eye contact, my eyes widened and I tried to hurry away till a voice stopped me, it was the girl.
“Your new here right? I haven’t seen you before.” She said smiling at me walking towards me with the boy, he had no reaction at all just a stern look walking towards me. I was very intimidated so I shrunk possibly smaller than I already was when they were towering over me.
“U-uh, u-um y-yeah I am.” I stuttered out cursing in my head from stuttering to much.
“Well hi there, my name is y/n and this boy here is my boyfriend Minho.” She said linking her arms with his smiling. He just stared at me with his dark expression observing me. I looked away from the staring getting flustered.
“I’m Lee Felix, but just call me Felix I transferred here from Australia.” I said. Looking between them both. They are polar opposites for each other it doesn’t make sense.
“Nice to meet you Felix-ssii, and welcome to JYP university, if you need help you can find us! Can I see your schedule?” She said brightly grabbing my schedule from my hands as she looked through it, I look over at the guy and he still hasn’t took his eyes off me one time, I shifted on my feet a little uncomfortable. I think y/n noticed cause when she looked over at Minho she had this dark like hunger in her eyes and smirked then looked at me.
“We have some classes together same with min over here, your gonna start hanging with us starting today!!” She said grabbing my arm and Minhos then walking down the hall.
That’s how our friendship with us 3 started, I was with them everyday at classes and lunch and we would hangout a lot outside of school going to arcades and skating and going to the movies. I love it, it’s everything I could’ve asked for. It’s been about a year since I’ve been coming to the college and a big turn happened our last year at the college. There was a party that was being thrown after the football game, me not ever been to a party decided to go and let loose for once. I wore a see through lace like shirt with a black leather shirt over it with some leather black pants. And of course I didn’t go by myself I went with Y/n and Min. When we got there it was packed, dancing sweaty bodies everywhere it reeked of weed, sex, sweat, and booze. Not a very pleasant smells but it’ll do. Me being the curious person I am left them two behind without telling them to look around, I went to the kitchen and grabbed a cup to drink my nerves down. I was leaning up against the counter, then I felt someone press up against me from behind. I froze in shock not knowing what to do.
“Hi there pretty boy. What are you doing here alone?” The stranger whispered close to my ear blowing against sending an uncomfortable chill down my spine.
“I-I’m not alone, could you move.” I said in a whisper pushing against him to get off me, he groaned lowly grabbing my waist real tight pushing his self further against me. My eyes widened and I started shaking from fear.
“Baby, how about we get out of here yeah? Have some fun?” He chuckled darkly and you could hear the evil smirk in it. I started shaking a little and tears started forming in my eyes. He grabbed my arm and went to try and pull me away till the hand was thrown off me, the person pulled me against there chest holding me. I could recognize the smell like the back of my hand. It was Minho his smell was calming my nerves so I snuggled a little closer to him.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Minho asked the dude in a growl.
“Come on, we were just gonna have some fun, he’s not with anyone so if you don’t mind I gonna take him now.” The dude said going to grab me again, but Y/n stepped in grabbing his arm twisting it then throwing him off.
“Do not touch him.” She said glaring at him, and let me say if looks could kill he would be dead for sure.
“What’s all this about? Why yall stealing this slut? We are just gonna have fun no need to to be so possessive.” He said chuckling.
“Let me tell you something, with us we do not let people touch what’s ‘ours.’ Minho said darkly. In one swift move he socked him making him stumble to the floor. “Don’t call him a slut again, if I see your face one time around him it’s gonna be worse then just a punch to the face.” He said giving him a deathly stare as we walked away.
My brain was everywhere I’m trying to process what happened, what do they mean what’s “ours.” My mind is running around everywhere. Y/n and Minho walked up to a corner against the wall to talk at. I stood there looking at the floor fidgeting with my fingers my thought running wild. I felt a finger lift my head up to look at them and it was Minho. I took a shaky breath staring wide eyed at him blushing heavily from the close proximity.
“Why’d you run off little one?” He asked his gaze softening while putting a piece of hair behind my ear, dropping his hand down to my cheek rubbing it softly staring into my eyes with… love? “I-I was just curious to see what was all here but then got thirsty and went to get something, I swear I thought you guys were following.” I said quickly so they wouldn’t be mad or scold me. Y/n came up beside me kissing my cheek softly, at this point they are trying to kill me cause it was getting hot in here. I let out another shaky breath. “Lixie baby, it’s okay we aren’t mad just worried that’s all, we don’t want anybody taking what’s ours now right?” She said patting my head softly smiling. “Ours?” I asked confused looking both at Minho and y/n. “Angel, you were ours from the start.” Minho whispered down at my ear chuckling darkly. A shiver went down my spine not a bad one this time a good one, one that made me feel all hot in my stomach, fuck I think I’m getting hard. “Ooh, min baby, I think Lixie here is having problems.” Y/n said giggling trailing her hands down from my chest to my bulge. I gasped slightly face red hot, I bucked my hips into her hand with a slight whimper. “Should we had back home and have some fun hm?” Minho asked in my ear biting lightly on my earlobe. “Y-yes please.” I said breathily with a whimper with the plea. “Let’s go.” Y/n smirked grabbing me and minhos hand walking out.
From that day forward we have made it official with each other and never stopped loving each other dearly.
————————————————————————
Present time:
(Felix’s POV, it will switch to 3rd POV later on)
————————————————————————
Work is hard. Having a job is very stressful. Esports today, I had a very hard day and can’t wait to go home to my lovely’s and snuggle with them talking about my day. I finally got out of the hell hole of work and texted Minho and Y/n that I’m on the way back home. They usually reply instantly but I got nothing back, which is fine I’ll see them when I get home. I finally made it home and parked the car, I got out locked and made it up to the front door unlocked it and walked in, taking my shoes off at the door. I set my coat up on the rack and set my keys down. I heard soft talking and the tv on in the living room, so I walked over there to see y/n and Minho on the couch cuddling laughing and giggling teasing each other. “Hi loves I’m back from work, it was so exhausting.” I said as I sat at the other end of the couch leaning against it with a big sigh rubbing my eyes from the lack of sleep. “Mmm” they both said still invested with each other. I felt a little pain in my heart from the short response. I just looked at them confused and hurt wondering why they aren’t talking to me. “Let me tell you guys about what happened to-“ I was going to say but then got interrupted by y/n laughing loudly aside with Minho “omg stop that’s not funny!!” She loudly said jokingly smacking him in the chest. “Shhh you know it’s true.” He said giggling pulling her closer. I got even more hurt from having no attention. Me being the insecure person I am was thinking hella hard. Do they not love me anymore? They would be better together just then right? They’re tired of me aren’t they? All of those thoughts running through my head. “Guys?” I said softly, but got nothing in response they are still talking softly with each other giggling. “Helllooo?” I said louder catching there attention. “What?” Minho kinda snapped at me, my eyes widened a little bit at the stern tone he had, I felt my eyes start watering up, “n-nothing I’m just gonna go get something to eat.” I said quickly getting up, “that was weird.” Minho whispered to y/n, y/n’s eyes followed me with a soft look. They went back to being invested in each other as I make me a sandwich silently crying.
I stood there listening to them getting more hurt and angry. I had enough of this I’m gonna speak about this. I set my cup down harshly startling them, walking to the living room looking at them, they both looked up at me confused. “Listen I don’t know what’s going on if this is some prank or whatever, but I had a really bad day at work excited to come home and snuggle with my lovers and tell them about it, but all I got was silence the whole time, I tried to sit here and tell you but y’all ignored me and that hurts. Do you guys not love me anymore?! Am I being a burden?! Are you guys getting tired of me?! That’s all I’m thinking right now and you guys haven’t noticed I cried in the kitchen if you would just take your eyes of each other for one second to notice. I love you guys so much, but if that’s not how you guys feel anymore quit playing me and just tell me! It’s whatever I’m going out I’ll be back later.” I said loudly to them grabbing my coat and keys putting my shoes on walking out the door.
“Fel-“ Minho went to say but Felix was already out the door. “Baby..” y/n said softly with tears in her eyes. “We hurt him and that hurts me, he’s so insecure and we knew that and we still didn’t give him the attention he needs.” She said softly crying in Minhos chest. “It’s okay love, I’m hurt to don’t worry.” He said sniffling a little. “What are we gonna do?” Y/n asked looking up at Minho with teary eyes. “We are gonna go get our angel back.” He said getting up as y/n did to getting ready to go get Felix.
—————————————
I know it’s very short but I didn’t have time to finish it up, but this is the first part I will be making the 2 part and it will come soon!! Please enjoy!!
Minlix 🤭
Tumblr media
14 notes · View notes
Text
RIGHT HERE
Pairings: Eddie munson x Plus Size!Fem!reader
Summary: when you think no one would ever like you, it surprises you to find out that your brothers best friend is in love you
Warnings: mention of SH! Insecure!reader, Swearing, bullying, Knife like weapon
Note: if you feel uncomfortable reading this or if it triggers you, feel free to skip. I felt like there needed to be more plus size readers! Reader is a Henderson!
I want you to k own that if you struggle with any of these topics, that you are not alone, I am basing this off my own experience and have done and gone through most of these things and no way whatsoever am I trying to romanticize this. It is a serious matter and if you want to talk, my Dms are always open.
Tumblr media
What was wrong with you?
Were you made from a broken mold?
Why you?
Why do you have to be like this? Look like this?
All these questions flooded your mind as you stared at yourself in your full body mirror.
You hated to the way you looked.
Your stomach was practically bulging out of your jeans and the top that covered your large chest looked so tight and stretched on you.
You had no thigh gap like the rest of the girls, you didn't have a the perfect button nose, your chest wasn't flat like the other girls, the complete opposite of small. And not only that but you had to stick your tongue on the roof of your mouth to hide the double chin of yours. You looked nothing like any if the girls at school or in Hawkins. You looked hideous in your eyes
You are at yourself while tears slipped from your eyes, making your face red.
You face was covered in make up because your friend once said to you that you needed it and that you needed to make up for your body in some way. But the make up did you no justice
"Y/n! Come on, hurry up. What's taking so long" your brother yelled out to you.
"Coming" you wiped a tear away. You slipped on a big hoodie and grabbed your bag, running out of your room and getting your keys. Meeting Dustin in front of your car.
"Finally" he sighed.
"Sorry" you muttered
--
"Oh, hey Y/n" one of your friends noticed you from afar.
"Hey guys" you smiled at them sweetly
"We were just talking about going to the local pool tomorrow after school, you wanna come?" One of them asked. You thought about it for a second, but then realised you didn't own a bathing suit, you had thrown that all out because they were too small for you
"No thanks" you shook you head
"Oh, alright" they said and went back to talking
"Y/n!" You heard you name being called out from the other side of the hall
"Yeah?" You saw your curly headed brother running up to you
"Eddie's coming over to ours tonight, since mum is out" he announced at went off to his class
You didn't really like Eddie, but he wasn't the worst of guys in your school, he never bullied you like every other guys, but then again, he never really looked at you, I mean sure, he would see you coming and just walk the other way. You just assumed he didn't like you
"Eddie? Eddie munson?" You friend asked
"I dont know, probably" you shrugged. Acting dumb, you didn't want another reason to be bullied, you didn't want people to tease you because the towns freak was in your home
"I would never be caught dead in the same house as him" she rolled her eyes
---
You always felt the need to hide your stomach in front of large groups, whether it was putting your hand on your belly or sucking in.
So when you were going to your table after getting your food, you usually go past all the cheerleaders and jocks but you didn't want to have to do that right now, so you went the long way, circling around the cafeteria, past the hellfire club.
"Hey, Y/n!" Dustin beamed at you as he saw you. You looked at him quickly, noticing all the other guys attention going to you, you felt their stares and felt weak, judged and anxious. You smiled awkwardly and quickly rushed past them, going to the girls
"Hi guys" you sat down eagerly and put your bad down at your feet.
"Hey, Y/n"
You took one of the fries off your tray and stuck it in your mouth.
U didn't have a problem eating in front of people, it was more of how much you were eating.
So when you ate half of your food on the tray, which was an apple, fries and really soggy coleslaw which made you lose most of your appetite
"Are you going to eat all of that?" One of them asked.
And you suddenly just stopped chewing on your food, looking up at them all staring at your in some sort of disgust
"Its not that much" you swallowed your fries and removed your hands from the table, putting them to your lap and subconsciously fiddling with your fingers
"Yeah but, I would never eat that much, especially if I was you, not to be rude or anything but, you know" she scrunched her nose, looking down at the food that was left on your tray
"Right, yeah. I should probably stop, I'm full anyway" you pushed the tray away from you, fighting the urge to leave the table and go somewhere else
You had that problem a lot. They would say something so rude to you and you would just put up with it, never leaving or standing up to yourself, you just took it out on yourself later.
"Have you ever worked out? There's a gym at the mall, you should try it" she suggested
You had tried, nothing ever worked. You tried everything, not eating, working out, eating less, starvation, which led to a iron deficiency.
"Yeah? I'll try" you smiled tightly
"Mhm, you should, and until then you can't sit with us" the 'leader' of the group announced
"What?"
"Y/n, in order for us to be popular, you have to be gone, no offense but your not like us, and you're ruining our chances. And not to mention, your make up makes you look like a whore" she admitted
Oh
You nodded your head slowly, taking in what she had said, no one of the others disagreed, they all looked at you agreeing with her. And you nodded your head faster, realizing you weren't wanted by them, by anyone.
"Sorry" you muttered and quickly stumbled out of your seat, grabbing your bag and almost tripping as you sped out of the cafeteria.
---
You had locked yourself in the bathroom for the rest of the day, not turning up to your classes, no one would notice anyway. You weren't wanted so who would notice you weren't there?
So when the bell went, you were the first out the door, and in your car, driving off without waiting for Dusty.
You had just drove with tears blurring your vision, making you lose focus on the road.
Once you had gotten home, you face planted into your bed, covering your face in your soft white pillow, making it dirty with the load of make up that was now smudged and ruined.
You looked over at your desk tiredly, noticing the little black box next to your jewelry box. You got up and opened it, noticing the small little razor. taking it in your hands, you looked down at your wrists.
---
You stay there crying, looking at the new scars that we spread out on your arms in lines. You hated yourself for doing it, but in your mind, you thought it was helping you.
You knew Dustin would've found a way home and would probably be here soon, and might've been with Eddie, so you quickly pulled your sleeves down and walked out the back door, just in case you ran into them, and wondered to the forest a few minutes away from your house.
You had taken your makeup off once you did the harmful act and just felt so exhausted and embarrassed
How could you let this happen?
You got home at 9 at night. Eddie didn't seem to be there anymore so you walked in without a problem. The house was quiet, all the lights were off and the only light was the moon, shining through the window of the living room, but you managed to get to your room without making a sound.
---
Fridays. The day you usually look forward to is now something you despise. Who were you going to sit with? Hang out with?
Don't get me wrong, you could sit in the library, but that's pretty sad, and the bathroom isn't that sanitary, not that you were going to sit there anyway, but that would be your last option.
You didn't have makeup on, it was all natural, if it made you look like a whore than why bother?
It was a slow day. It's only 2nd period and you can't bare it anymore, not to mention the growing feeling of being stared at, you had felt someone's eyes on you for ages, ever since you got to school and you didn't want to have to deal with it today.
"Mr munson, pay attention" the teacher tells out to him, it's a miracle he's even in the class right now, he's usually ditching his classes and never shows up.
He muttered a small apology and looks down at his desk, nothing in front him, no book, no pen, just a vandalized desk with gum stuck to the bottom.
---
Lunch.
It shouldn't be a problem. You didn't really have money for food because you didn't want any and you didn't bother to bring some. So you walked to the corner of the room and got your Walkman out. Playing your Beatles 'Abbey Road'. And just sad down. Pulling out a book as 'here comes the sun' came on.
But your peace was then ruined as a handful of chips were thrown at you, some hitting your face, some at your chest, falling onto your lap. You looked up and saw Jason laughing,
You ignored him and went back to your book but that didn't last long either as a milkshake was thrown at you, ruining the book that your teacher had given out for her class, more specific, to study for her class. The light pink of the milkshake covering your body, covering one of your eyes and half of your hair as it spilled down your body. Your Walkman stopped playing the music and went to static noises before going silent.
He broke them.
You got up and walked out. Trying your best to block out the stares and laughing throughout the whole crowd in the room.
You threw your Walkman to the floor, it wasn't worth keeping it if it was broken, so you just left in on the floor as you rushed to the bathroom, wiping the pink liquid off you the best you should with only your hands, which wasn't really doing that well, and with your luck, while, turning a corner, you had bumped into someone, making their shirt dirty with the milkshake
"I'm sorry" you sobbed, getting out of their way and walking past them
"Hey, wait" they grabbed your wrist, making you hiss in pain of the contact of the marks and their fingers
"Y/n" you didn't recognize the voice that much so your only option was to wipe the shake out of your eyes and face, still blurry but you could make out who it was
"Leave me alone" you shrugged his hand away from yours and tried walking away
"Hey, it's ok, it's gonna be ok" he tried comforting you, but you didn't want it
"Go away, Dustin" you said and choked up on your words
"Where were you last night?" He questioned
"It doesn't matter Dustin"
"Eddie was asking about you, he was wanting to talk and see you" he told you and had a pleasing look on his face
"I don't want to talk to him" you sniffled and tried walking away again
"Why not?" He asked
"Because" you turned around to look at your younger brother and he just looked at you silently, nodding his head before walking away
You sighed and turned back around, stumbling into someone else, this time a taller figure.
Eddie
He wrapped his arms around you, securing you in his arms, pulling you as close as he could
"Go away" you tried pushing him away, but he was a pretty strong fella so he didn't go anywhere.
"Why do you hate me so much?" He quizzed pleadingly
"Why do you care?" you grumbled, more tears flowing out of your eyes and down your face, you hated the way you were sensitive, in both mental and physical sense.
"Because I care about you" he admitted
"No you don't, you never have, no one ever has" you yelled, trying your best to out of his grip, he told you to stop trying for get away from him
"That's not true" he shook his head
"Yes it is! I'm always left out, always last to everybody, because look at me, I'm not like Chrissy, or Megan, or lily, no one ever cared, I mean look at me! I have no friends, because they left me! They didn't want me! So why would you!?" You yelled at him
"Well I don't give a fuck about your 'friends', I'm right here, and yes, look around, I'm the only one who hasn't walked out on you" he yells back at you,
"You did walk out, you left me when I gained weight, you didn't like me cause I'm fat, that's what everybody says, everybody, even my friends" you managed to get out of his grip, going away from him
"I dont give a fuck about them. I'm right here, you walked out on me! I wouldn't be right here if I didn't like you!" He shouted at you from afar
You did leave him, you just convinced yourself it was the other way around, 2 years prior, when you got bigger, you felt like you weren't enough for him, to be his friend, so, when you usually sat with them, you didn't, you never did again, and when he had the chance, Eddie asked you why and you told him you didn't want to be friends with him and he took that as you calling him a freak, but it was worse, because not only were you his friend, but he was in love with you. He didn't care about your body, you cared about you
"I did it before you would" you walked back over to him
"What does that mean? I was never going to leave you, you're none of those things you think you are, or the things they say you are, your beautiful, amazing, talented and I- you're really cool" he pulls at his hair in frustration. You could barely feel your face anymore, and your hands had become sticky from the milkshake and sweat.
"And why would you think that?"
"Because I'm In love with you. You need to stop playing pretend for your judgemental friends who ain't really your friends at all, I don't get why you're trying to fit in here because these people don't appreciate what's real and beautiful, it's like I don't even know you anymore, where is she? Because I want her, you've been swept by the tide that doesn't even like you. So if you've got a moment to spare I got something to say" he rambled
You couldn't speak, you had a lump in your throat and couldn't care to swallow it down, you've been choked up
"Stop lying, it's not funny anymore and I'm sick of everybody acting like they like me, so just leave me alone" you pushed him away and walked out of the school. He didn't bother catching or calling you. He just left you to walk away from him, but you didn't care.
--------------------------
I'm sorry if any of this has ever happened to you, I can tell you you're not alone, I've gone through a lot of this myself and if you want to talk again. My dms are open
160 notes · View notes
bridgyrose · 5 months
Note
Ilia admits to Blake she has a bit of a crush on Sienna, as Sienna was off to the side hearing that. (not meant to be a shippy thing, more like a character exploration thing).
Ilia blushed for a moment as she entered the building used as a base for the Mistral branch of the White Fang. It wasnt exactly her first time, but every time she thought about being in the presence of Sienna Khan, the current leader of the White Fang, her heart started to pound in her chest. Nervousness ran through her as she walked with Blake as Adam acted as a guard to them. “What do you think she wants with us?” Ilia whispered to Blake. 
“Probably a stealth mission,” Blake answered back in a hushed whisper. “You and I can get into places pretty quick and Adam is able to handle anything we cant.” 
“Yeah but… this didnt seem as urgent.” 
“Maybe we’re being reassigned?” 
“Or maybe she’s finally going to ask for my hand in marriage.” Ilia paused for a moment as her cheeks burned and her skin turned pink. “O-or going to give us some sort of reward for everything we’ve done.” 
Blake rolled her eyes with a small smile. “I dont think its going to be anything like that.” 
“But it could!” Ilia rushed forward a bit to get in front of Blake, smiling at her and practically swooning. “Wouldnt you want Sienna to sweep you off your feet and stare deeply into your eyes?” 
“We’re here to get a new mission for Vale,” Adam said sternly. “Not to indulge in any fantasies.” 
“And while I appreciate the crush you have on me, I’m not looking for anything like that,” Sienna said as she walked over to the group from the side of the entrance hall. “And Adam is correct. I need you three for a mission in Vale.” 
Ilia froze for a moment as her blush deepend, not expecting for Sienna to be listening in. “T-that’s what I meant! That you’d take our hands, give us a mission and tell us that we’re the best!” 
Sienna raised a brow at her. 
“S-so… what’s the mission?” 
“I need you three to stop a train bringing dust from a SDC mine to Vale.” Sienna motioned for them to follow her. “While I dont like cutting off Vale from their dust, the Schnee Dust Company has become a problem that we need to stop.” 
Ilia quietly listened in as Sienna and Adam discussed the details of the mission, getting a bit lost as she tried not to stare at Sienna. This was her idol, the person she looked up to most in the White Fang, sitting right here with her. It was enough to get her heart pounding. At least until she felt Blake pull her by the wrist to take her out of the meeting room. “I’m coming.” 
Blake smiled a bit, taking a more teasing tone to Ilia. “Are you? Looks like you’re busy getting lost in Sienna’s eyes.” 
“I wasnt getting lost!” Ilia whispered harshly as she made her way closer to Blake. “Besides, while I like her, my… heart belongs to someone else.” 
“And who’s that?” 
“I-I… cant say.” Ilia’s blush started to fade a bit as she looked at Blake, her heart still pounding hard for the girl standing next to her. “My own secret.” 
“I’m sure she’ll like you too.” 
Ilia smiled, her eyes lingering on Blake for a brief moment. “I hope so.”
8 notes · View notes
hella1975 · 10 months
Note
theo's weekend story time (it's kind of long, sorry)
friday: after a 10 hour bus trip, i get to the city at like 6pm and have to catch a train to the city station, so i haul my duffel bag with my weekends worth of shit in it all the way down the bus terminal, up a flight of stairs, and down a different flight of stairs to get to the train platform. i cannot find the ticket thingy, a lovely woman informs me that they are upstairs and i must have walked right past them, so i trot my dumb ass back up the stairs, buy a ticket, go back down the stairs - at this point im SWEATING bc im wearing three jackets bc it was cold and raining when i left my home town
i get on the train, i get to the city station, i am now on part two of my mission: get to the underground station. the trainline i was on doesn't go there directly, but the two stations are connected so i CAN walk there but i dont now where the fuck im going so i go up the stairs and ask the first person i see wearing a uniform "hey do you happen to know how to get to [city] underground from here?" "i sure do!" "...can you tell me?" he gives me instructions, i repeat the instructions to make sure i heard them right, i head down a different set of stairs and immediately forget half of the instructions but i can't go back and ask again bc i'll look like a dickhead so i just wing it - i go down the next set of stairs, looking for platform 5, i see the sign and follow it up more stairs - dead end. i ask someone in a uniform how to get to the underground, they tell me to go back down the stairs and turn left, i then say "i was so close" out loud, thank them, and go back down the stairs. i FINALLY end up in the underground station, where i proceed to wait for my friend until she finds me. (at this point, after all of the stairs and the several layers and the large bag, i am dying)
it starts raining while we're waiting for the bus, and then i had to dig through my pocket for change for a bus ticket and held up the whole fucking bus for like 5 minutes before finally sitting down. we get to my friends uni, she drags me to the dining hall where i get to met her school friends and THEN, gloriously, i am asked the most beautiful question: "oh, you're writing a book? what's it about?"
and i don't think i breathed for the next like. five minutes.
we get back to my friends dorm and build a bed for me on the floor (it's a sleeping bag), and thus starts my life as a criminal
saturday: my friend has a committee meeting to go to, so i literally just hung out in her dorm by myself all day - had a nap, ate some skittles, did some sewing and some writing, very productive. she finally gets back at 4:30.
we get dressed up as pirates, take a bus to the train station (i once again struggle to pull together enough change for a bus ticket, we are also both carrying two bags each + a gift bag for our friend), we get on the train and then have to take another bus so we're standing at the bus stop and this couple start having the most batshit argument and it's mildly scary and mostly hilarious and then the woman bumps into my friend and we both just freeze bc we think we're about to get dragged into it but instead she just apologises and then HE apologises and then she's like "don't apologise for me" and then they're getting into it all over again, finally the bus comes. i am ONCE AGAIN struggling to get a ticket bc i have the worst luck with buses (this time it's bc we can't remember the exact stop we need to get off at) meanwhile the woman throws a bike helmet at the man except her aim is shit and it hits me in the back of the leg instead and by the time i sit down im trying so hard not to burst into laughter
now, the thing about the friend i came all this way for, is that they live in a really awkward area, so me and the friend im staying with get off the bus and have to walk for half a fucking hour while carrying all our shit - we stopped halfway just so i could text our friend that i was going to kill them - and by the time we get there it's 7pm. we left at 5:20. i was sweaty, puffed, and exhausted.
another thing about this friend is that, we got mistaken for each other a lot when we were in high school - like i spent my first two weeks at a new school hearing about this other kid that i apparently looked exactly like, and then we met and somehow ended up friends, and it's been a running joke ever since - especially bc we're very similar personality wise and after this one time we both walked out of separate rooms to discover we were wearing the exact same jeans (which we had both diy-ed, they weren't even store-bought, we just made the same pair of jeans)
so i get to this pirate themed party, and i'm standing in the kitchen, and the friend-i'm-here-for walks in and we just pause. look each other up and down. and just go "for fucks sake" because we'd miraculously managed to wear the same fucking thing in different fonts.
i get drunk <3 on an empty stomach <3 the horrors set in but i am so brave about it <3
i am given a matress on the floor (an upgrade from the sleeping bag)
sunday: me and the friend-im-staying-with are the first awake, i scare myself with my reflection (pale, eyeliner smudged down my cheek bone, half my hair falling out of it's bun), i drink two cups of coffee while watching my friend-that-im-here-for power clean (they refused any offers of help), finally we all get dressed (there are five of us, we are the main group, 4 of us went to high school together and the other is K's boyfriend who is now our friend) and we head out to get food! i got a chicken and avo crepe and it was really fucking good actually, and there was some random kid dressed as chainsaw man running around which was just. brilliant.
the friend-im-here-for drives me and the friend-im-staying-with out of the city to her parents house (where we are staying tonight) and bc the drive was long we got to just talk about anything and eerything which was nice bc it's hard to actually catch up with someone at a party, so i'm glad i got to actually hang out with them yknow?? they dropped us off, and i've upgraded again to an actual bed <3 then i got dropped off at my aunties, and i got to catch up with her and then my grandma came up so i got to surprise her! and then my aunty offered to drive my back to my friends instead of having my friend pick me up, and then we detoured to get maccas, and then me and my friend watched ghost files and now i need to go to bed bc i have to get up at a ridiculous hour (i mean technically i don't, but the more anxious i am about something, the earlier i have to be prepared for it)
and yeah!! so the 10 hour bus trip was honestly worth it, bc the vaguely chaotic events of this weekend was everything i should've expected from this lot, and hopefully i'll get to see them again on my birthday bc they all said they're keen on coming down so yeah. very happy, very fulfilled. thank you for listening <3
theo 0 : public transport : 1
13 notes · View notes
detectivehole · 2 months
Note
I grew up in a severely haunted house and have a few stories. First was when I was four I was home alone with my mom and had to use the bathroom. So I walk down the hall and am halfway there when I hear a baby crying from our sunroom. And I’m telling you, I have never heard anything so blatantly EVIL in my life, not even during my bouts of sleep paralysis. I ran right back to my mom and just shook. Other people had heard the baby and agree it was pure evil.
Another time in my teens I was up late chatting on AOL messenger when I hear what sounds like someone pushing a couch upstairs. The thing is, nobody lived upstairs at the time and there was no furniture.
My last experience was I was sleeping with my cat by my side and I wake up because she’s whimpering and twitching. I’ve had many cats all my life and never heard one make sounds like that. I try to comfort her (she was still asleep) when I glance at the corner of my room and floating there are three balls of light. As soon as I register them, they shoot up through the ceiling.
Those are my experiences and everyone who lived or visited that house had something happen to them. I was so glad to move out.
this almost seems like the platonic ideal of a harmless but distressing haunting. evil baby is as classic as it gets, right? though, assuming malicious spirits exist it makes sense; mix something as instinctively concerning as a baby crying with negative feelings and create the most naturally upsetting sound
i dont have any good comments on the furniture or orb experience unfortunately, though i am a huge fan of Spirit Orbs. its just an entertaining concept, that a spirit would appear as a sphere of light or shadow- no more or less believable than other encounters just more comical imo
3 notes · View notes
ikeupedia · 10 months
Text
pairings. classmate! Riki x fem reader
sypnosis. reader is about to confess to riki but someone did it first.
wc. 0.7k
genre. a tiny little bit of angst
warnings. cliffhanger, swear words
note. this is my first time writing 😭😭 so it might be a lil corny 🏃‍♀️ tell me if i did anything wrong?
italicized texts - thoughts
Tumblr media
MAY 24TH, the day you and riki met. usually both of you would celebrate it, but since exams are coming, you arent sure if you guys would be able to celebrate
You won't lie you do miss riki alot, it's been awhile since both of you hung out. stupid exams
"God I can't wait for the exams to end, I'm so drained from studying." you say as you pack your things from the library and leave. I wonder if riki and I will be able to celebrate? Lost in your own thoughts, you did not notice your surroundings and bumped into someone.
thump
"ow-" you said. You were about to fall when a certain person catched you.
"be careful y/n" you look up to see... riki, such perfect timing you thought to yourself
"Thanks riki.. sorry for bumping into you" ill use this opportunity to ask if we could celebrate..
"It's no problem y/nie" riki says.
"i was thinking if we could celebrate? for you know.." I say as i look on his lips, fighting the urge to kiss him. if only i could confess but i'm scared of ruining of our friendship
"oh sur-" he was about to reply when someone called him.
"Riki!" his friend calls him. "What's up man? You still down for later?"
Riki stands there frozen, shit i forgot about my plans with jake.. i'll just celebrate with y/n tomorrow he thinks
"yeah jake, you don't have to tell me twice" he rolls his eyes.
the atmosphere gets awkward as you watch them interact with eachother, i guess he's busy today, we'll just celebrate another time.
Riki then turns to you, staring at you with those eyes you love most. If he keeps staring at me like that im gonna melt
"hey um.. i'm a bit busy today but we can celebrate tomorrow though? If you're cool with that" the boy says
"oh yeah totally! Im fine with it, I understand.." I am not fine, its been days since you guys hung out! Yet he chooses to be with jake rather than celebrating with you
Feeling dejected, you walk away and go home to call jungwon
--
jw: so, have you confessed yet?
y/n: no.. im too scared, what if i ruin our friendship?
jw: come on y/n.. you know it's not healthy to bottle your feelings up, it's best if you just confess already!
y/n: it's not that easy wonie.. I don't even think he likes me back
jw: it'll be fine y/nie..
jw: i have to go now ill see you tomorrow
y/n: alright.. bye won!
--
you sigh, jungwon always had your back and you were grateful for it. At some point you feel that you like jungwon a bit..
crushing on jungwon?!
why would i even like jungwon? Ive been curshing on riki for almost a year.. now that i see it, jungwon always had a way to make me smile.. his cat eyes..
"I shouldnt be thinking of this." I shake my head. what is wrong with me? Maybe jungwon is the one afterall
--- MAY 25, after exams
"okay this is it" i'm finally going to confess, he might reject but i don't care anymore. Im going to try my shot
I walk through the halls looking for riki "where the hell is that kid" i was having a hard time finding him since it's crowded..
"found him!" I quickly run to him but abruptly stopped due to what i saw..
Riki was kissing another girl!
I guess I was too late.. I immediately try to walk away but i guess he saw me
"Y/n!" well shit
i turn around and see riki waving at me with his hands around that girls shoulder. Every step i take towards them shatters my heart
"hey riki!" i say trying not to sound broken, tears are starting to form
"are you okay? you look like you're about to cry.." Goddamn he noticed
"oh it's just about the exams, i got a low score" great lie y/n
"just so you know grades dont define you okay?"
"yeah i know.." i cant stand it anymore.. i feel like im about to burst into tears
"also meet my girlfriend!" wow girlfriend huh.. i feel my heart drop, i guess i really am too late
"congrats riki! you better treat her right, anyways i have to go bye!" i say as i run away from the both of them
i arrive home balling my eyes out, i call the first person that comes into my mind..
Jungwon
Tumblr media
JUNGWON AND READER END UP BEING TOGETHER?????!? who knows
11 notes · View notes
reel-fear · 1 year
Note
For the writing request thingy,would you feel like writing something Mandroid or Schloder oriented?
About them alone or as a ship because they have potential as a rare pairing (I might have a bad taste in ships but hear me out/hj)
They can just,,be doing silly coworker stuff like drinking coffee together on a break or something :-))
Sorry if it’s not something you feel like doing!!
I would love to write something like that! I did want to do this so I could do some writing prompts for characters I don't think I'd naturally get ideas for putting in the spotlight! It's not Really ship but it is with both of them so I hope u enjoy! Warning they might be OOC bc well we dont know their characters super well and theres not a lot of content to pick apart n such. And also I only refrenced their wiki articles and my memory for tryna keep em in character so yknow, like I said, might be OOC. Also its not very silly, its very serious if anything oops KJNDSFKGJNSDFGKJNDFGSD-
Schloder could hear every footstep as he and the man designated as 'Mandroid' walked down the halls of GHOST. It was silent inside of the GHOST building most days and the echo the empty metal halls gave every noise didn't help. Not that Jon would ever let a new arrival intimidate him, he was far better than that... He couldn't let his professionalism fade for even a moment. Not with a mission this dangerous or an organization this important... Though with how important it all was... He couldn't help but wonder how on earth such a suspicious or shady man as Dr. Meridian managed to slither his way back into their ranks...
It was beyond his rank to question the hiring decisions of the organization, but it was also hard to ignore the robot arms that Mandroid had attached to himself. He recognized one of them as belonging to the prisoner Hardtop. He wasn't sure where the other one had come from however and he wasn't sure which one unsettled him more.
"It feels... So nice to be back within these walls." Dr. Meridian suddenly hissed, his expression and tone was one of delight, but something about the way he moved through the halls and the look in his eyes made Schloder want to doubt his cheery demeanor...
"It seems GHOST has missed you as much as you missed us." Schloder replied, trying to see Mandroid as nothing more than another coworker.
"You make it sound like you had not missed me while I was gone... That's rather hurtful Jon, I never did anything but disappear for a while. Did that truly upset you so much?"
"You disappeared and suddenly showed up in... this state, I don't think I owe you any kind of explanation until you give me one." Schloder responded, idly flicking some dust off his uniform.
"At least I got you to admit you wanted an explanation." Mandroid continued, looking at his cybertronian hand and curling it into a fist. Schloder watched him do so, his expression not giving anything away but a slight bitterness. He wondered what the man was thinking about as he did it, was it the cybertronians they had captured? Was it the people who kept getting in the way of their operations? Or something else entirely... "But there is not an explanation any better than the one I already gave. After those horrible creatures mangled me I realized they had to be stopped... At any costs... That is the loyalty you feign to the same cause isn't it Schloder? To protect our people at any cost? The real question is why aren't you in my same 'state' if our motivations and goals align so well?"
Schloder took in a deep breath, trying to not let Mandroid weave such a strange narrative. Who knows what he would do if he started becoming confident in such a strange idea. It could only end poorly for both him and GHOST, therefore it was only naturally part of his job that he should shoot it down, swiftly. "That would be an extreme thing for me to do as a field agent, if I suddenly went out doing my job in such a state a lot of people would have a lot of questions. Now more than ever we do not need people asking a lot of questions. There's plenty of bots out there we need to capture and we can't waste time on repairing bad PR. Not anymore at least"
"But if you were in a job that would require the strength of a bot, you would take the same measures I had wouldn't you? You would be willing to give every part of your body in order to protect the people right agent?" Mandroid asked and Schloder hesitated.
He wanted to say yes of course. If it meant protecting the people around him of course he would, but he couldn't quite bring himself to force the words out.
Something about it didn't feel right... Was it the part where he would have to live for the rest of his life taking energon to function? The part where he lost his arms? He didn't think so...
The biggest thing that seemed to turn him away from the idea was the fact he would not just be losing his arms... He'd be replacing them with someone else's...
Of course that person who he took it from would be nothing more than one of their prisoners... A traitor who deserved whatever was coming to them right?
Yes... Yes he would do what Mandroid had done if it was to protect humanity.
But... Would it be worth it if it made him give up some of his humanity? To do something so cruel to another living being?
"Agent, you aren't suddenly having doubts in your duty are you? If you are I would be rather disappointed with your lack of faith in humanity, surely the idea of taking what we need from those... Horrible machines isn't what deters you from answering my question?"
"No... No it is not, it is just a heavy idea, to live the rest of my life reliant on energon and with arms that don't belong to me... It just feels easier to comprehend the idea of dying for the cause." Schloder confidently lied and Mandroid chuckled.
"Ah... I see... Well remember this Schloder..." The other man suddenly put his mechanical hand on the shoulder of the agent, causing Jon to tense.
"It would have been easier for me to simply die after the state those horrible things left me in the hospital. To bleed out, but I knew that my work was not done, not until those things were gone from our home... Your work is not done until they are gone as well... So please understand I will take whatever measures I see necessary to keep you and the other GHOST members alive. If this upsets you... I would suggest finding a different line of work. One that doesn't require such dedication.
After all, none of us have quite earned our rest until our job here is done. So see to it you find me some more bots and soon, unless you want both of us to be here for the next century."
Schloder could hear everything in the empty echo chamber of a hallway. Mandroids cold but rage fueled hiss, the sound of his mechanical parts whirring with every subtle movement he made. The way his heart beat so much harder hearing such ominous and confident words.
The seething hatred that flickered behind Mandroid's existence and the cold resolve that kept him from dying.
Schloder could hear everything.
But it was beyond his rank to think about what he heard.
13 notes · View notes
Note
part 2 of modern!daemon nonnie's ask<з ok maybe it's good tumblr made me divide the ask. now i can write more about my thoughts on the modern au) hope you like reading them. 'any particular reason why you want to tell them?' just me. i'm ingenuous with people i trust so yeah.. just me. 'i think it’s pretty useless no?' it probably is. that's why i've offered you another idea)) 'i think she’d be fine not to tell him' noo but daemon? i think he's got the right to know. he can bask in his great ability to love a little. 'IMMA MAKE IT SO MESSY YOU DONT EVEN KNOW' GIRL anything i can handle anything BUT they marry at the end! and NOT that cliche pls TT i still need to cry out of happiness!! and YES i GET you. i don't insist on aegon and aemod being royal? and from that time. it's been just written. i'm glad you like this idea with an investigation) our alliance's really gonna make things. or riot. you choose my big brain sister. and i accept all the kisses!!! send them right back!!! KISSKISSKISS your kind lips for this kind words <з i also think aemond would've been upset but really interested in this whole thing as a historian but aegon'd have been soo heartbroken poor baby. i do like their characters but i'm personally too loyal for them.. i also see aegon more attached to the reader? like she's with daemon but aegon's right there and just.. hello.. how are u.. hey man can you pls not touch her thanks. and aemond sees daemon in the museum, makes a sour face and just.. hello my beloved professor i need your help can you spare me your whole day preferably thank you. while daemon's jealous but can't really tell them to fuck off bc 1) they don't really do smth bad 2) his 'valyrian' wife likes her pretty boys who act like puppies in love she'd be sad( aaand i'm really eager to see daemon brining her to his family (meeting aemma and little rhaenyra OmG where's cpr) aaand his home, the castle(?) like they're walking through the halls and she absolutely cries recalling everything she had before (not the bad medicine and sexism though...) meeting vyseris and looking at him KNOWINGLY while he's confused but is sooo relieved to have someone who's able to tame his brother. (reader and aemma besties reader and aemmd besties READER AND AEMMA BESTIES! please. poor reader should have a chance to be bestie of the lady she had no opportunity to spend more time with TT) and your spoiler?? i'm WAITING. i'm waiting.... i'm ready to take my make up off with the tears. i know you'll make it good. i trust you to break my heart. BUT then put it together again please i need to give you something for you being the most talented hottie-cutie. STOP or should daemon remember smth (some little things and feelings) himself after the valyrian wedding... i never know. you might know. but who knows. love you angel!! have a nice day/evening!!! take care! LOVE YOU
PART TWO OF THE LOVE LETTER LEZGOOOO
Tumblr media
maybe it's good tumblr made me divide the ask. now i can write more about my thoughts on the modern au) hope you like reading them.
i LOVE reading your asks!!! although it does take a while for me to reply so ur just gonna have to wait lol
'any particular reason why you want to tell them?' just me. i'm ingenuous with people i trust so yeah.. just me.
oh my cutesy lovely innocent lovely bug. we'll see. but i think, again 2k years of living made her quite hard and cynical
'i think it’s pretty useless no?' it probably is. that's why i've offered you another idea))
lolololol im listeningggggg i feel bad for saying your idea was fundamentally useless. i dont think ur useless im luv u
'i think she’d be fine not to tell him' noo but daemon? i think he's got the right to know. he can bask in his great ability to love a little.
i think he does but also if i dont find a reason/the right motive for yn to tell daemon ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
'IMMA MAKE IT SO MESSY YOU DONT EVEN KNOW' GIRL anything i can handle anything BUT they marry at the end! and NOT that cliche pls TT i still need to cry out of happiness!!
i love breaking peoples hearts maybe i wont make them have a wedding just to spite you HAHAHAHAHHH
and YES i GET you. i don't insist on aegon and aemod being royal? and from that time. it's been just written.
I ONLY SAID THAT BECAUSE I WAS CONFUSED ABOUT YOUR ASK yeah theyre not royal in the modern!au lol LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
i'm glad you like this idea with an investigation) our alliance's really gonna make things. or riot. you choose my big brain sister. and i accept all the kisses!!! send them right back!!! KISSKISSKISS your kind lips for this kind words <з
I LOVE YOUR IDEA SO MUCH I KISS KISS KISS
Tumblr media
i also think aemond would've been upset but really interested in this whole thing as a historian but aegon'd have been soo heartbroken poor baby.
THIS^^ yes but also no ?? HAHAH like i think both of them would be upset and in denial, in their own way, however i think they'd also have their own version of 'oh you're destined to be together, I DONT CARE WATCH ME TRY ANYWAY?'
i do like their characters but i'm personally too loyal for them..
honestly same! unless-
i also see aegon more attached to the reader? like she's with daemon but aegon's right there and just.. hello.. how are u.. hey man can you pls not touch her thanks.
actuUALLY YOURE SO RIGHT i think aegon is more attatched to readdderrr BIG BRAIN because they meet up regularly at the bar as friendsssssss albeit aegon is working as a bartender. also him going 'hello.. how are u.. hey man can you pls not touch her thanks.' at daemon 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 the sadness the desperation T_T suddenly idc about daemon HAHAHAHHA
and aemond sees daemon in the museum, makes a sour face and just.. hello my beloved professor i need your help can you spare me your whole day preferably thank you.
SAUR REALLLLLLL i think part of the reason why i also think aegon and yn would be closer than aemond and yn is because aemond would 100% try to keep that professional barrier, even unknowingly, and would be so jelly that yn and aegon have such a different dynamic, thinking like 'you always get your way i hate it here' T_T my poor lovie
while daemon's jealous but can't really tell them to fuck off bc 1) they don't really do smth bad
AHAHHAAHAH WHEN HAS DAEMON EVER BEEN STOPPED FROM DOING SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS TO HAHAHAHAHAHA
2) his 'valyrian' wife likes her pretty boys who act like puppies in love she'd be sad
tbh, i dont imagine yn as valyrian, just extremely knowledgeable of it for obvious reasons, but ur so right, daemon would hate to maker his lover sad
( aaand i'm really eager to see daemon brining her to his family (meeting aemma and little rhaenyra OmG where's cpr)aaand his home, the castle(?) like they're walking through the halls and she absolutely cries recalling everything she had before (not the bad medicine and sexism though...)
NOT THE BAD MEDICINE AND SEXISM HAHAHAHAHAH SO TRUE WAIT YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO EXCITED TO WRITE THAT I AM SO EXCITED TO MAKE HER MEET THE ROYAL FAMILY AND YOURE SO RIGHT HER AND AEMMA AND RHAENYRA AND REMEMBERING STUFF IN THE CASTLE GAAAAAHHHHHH
meeting vyseris and looking at him KNOWINGLY while he's confused but is sooo relieved to have someone who's able to tame his brother. (reader and aemma besties reader and aemmd besties READER AND AEMMA BESTIES! please. poor reader should have a chance to be bestie of the lady she had no opportunity to spend more time with TT)
VISERYS TOO T_T he'd be so on the fence about meeting yn like 'you clearly make him happy but im scared you'll trick my baby bro i will fight you' T_T OLDER BRO ACTIVATED. YES YES AND YN AND AEMMA BEING BESTIES COS THEY NEVER HAD THE CHANCE T_T SOOOO TRUEEEEE BIGGGG BRAAAIINNNNN
and your spoiler?? i'm WAITING. i'm waiting.... i'm ready to take my make up off with the tears. i know you'll make it good. i trust you to break my heart. BUT then put it together again please i need to give you something for you being the most talented hottie-cutie.
Tumblr media
[EVIL LAUGH] I NOW HAVE SO MANY PLANS THAT IDK IF IT WILL ALL FIT IN P3 PLEASE HELP HELP HELP AYUDAME I WILL 100% STOMP ON YOUR HEART BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I WILL PUT ALL THE PIECES TOGETHER [RUNS AWAY]
STOP or should daemon remember smth (some little things and feelings) himself after the valyrian wedding... i never know. you might know. but who knows. love you angel!! have a nice day/evening!!! take care! LOVE YOU
NO BUT YOURE SO BIG BRAIN SOMETHING MIGHT TRIGGER DAEMON TO REMEMBER PLEASE YOURE MAKING ME WANT TO WRITE 10 CHAPTERS FOR THIS HELLLLPPPPPPPP im gonna go start writing now help me pls T_T
i LOVE YOU TOO TAKE CARE MY LOVE
xxx
6 notes · View notes
e-102 · 2 years
Note
hi kiwiwiwiwi im in Ask game mode... tell me one time you thought "i truly am unlike anyone here and feel that i dont fit in with the culture in this area, and i feel so lonely" and then tell me one time you thought "these people share interests with me and i can see myself reflected in this good group of people, through kinship life is worth living" -zahra
omg this is a good one thank you for the ask zahra X)
once when i was younger i went to this camp called camp howard, with alllll my little classmates. and my best friend at the time was supposed to be my bathroom buddy, cause we weren’t allowed to walk around on our own. this one morning while i was getting ready everyone in my cabin had already walked to the bathroom and i realized my buddy ditched me, so i walked to the bathroom like tears streaming down my face i was so upset. when i got there i heard all the girls complaining about how annoying i was, and i couldn’t believe it, i was shocked that they would talk about me at all let alone all 7 of them who were my friends talking about how much they didn’t like me. so i walked around the back of the building and sat down like a sad sack and listened to them talk shit and i was like. i’ll never even be a girl let alone a friend of girls.
as for the good one: one time when i was in highschool and jjba part four was airing i was having the most animated conversation with my friend E about it. like we were being annoying as fuck and screaming about anime classic cringe high schooler shit. to the point where a teacher came into the hall and told us to shut the fuck up but we didn’t. it was fun, i really enjoyed liking something so much and having a friend who liked talking about it with me.
5 notes · View notes
Text
you gave me the best weekend of my life, you know.
my dad was going on a business trip in a state that was right next to yours, though i remember it still took you guys 5 hours to drive to the city, and 9 hours for me and my family. isnt it crazy how big this country is? we arent even on the larger half of it, either.
when i first saw you, i was scared. i was paranoid and young, and you were the first person from online i had ever met in person, despite my years of befriending people online. im glad it was you. it couldnt have ever been anyone else.
i was scared maybe i was lied to, that somehow it wasnt you, but i knew it was. i was a scared mentally ill kid and i was in the beginnings of something we both know got worse, and ill never stop being sorry for how i treated you when it did. you never deserved that, and it was never your fault. i shouldnt have done what i did, i shouldnt have.
i remember that first while was awkward, but itd be weird if it wasnt, right?
our first stop had to have been the bird sanctuary, i believe. so many birds of all kinds, and there was even bats! both of our favorite animals in one building, though i dont think the specific breeds we loved. that was okay. it was my first and only time seeing my favorite animal in person, it was amazing.
i remember there was a flying simulator in there, a both high budget and low budget game, if that makes sense. i mean, we had to lay on a t shaped person sized controller, which was wild! but the actual graphics of the cityscape we were meant to fly through were low quality. it was amazing. i remember you crashed, but i didnt. ive always dreamt of being able to fly.
and i remember that the penguin habitat had a dome in the middle that people could climb through a small tunnel into, and we were in there together, and looking at the penguins.
it mustve been that night that you came back to my hotel room, and we watched my favorite show on the couch, using my much too expensive laptop. i remember the deal we made that i didnt keep up my end of, where we watched eachothers favorite shows. im sorry i didnt like yours. i was glad you loved mine.
i dont remember if we saw eachother for most of the next day, i hope we did. the timeline blurs for me, but thats okay, because the timeline isnt what matters.
the boat ride matters. i know i wasnt originally meant to go on it with you guys, but i hope you think of it fondly like i do regardless.
i didnt like really any of the food they put in front of us, but thats not new for me. it only mattered in that single moment when it happened. when dinner was over and everyone was free to go about the boat, we mustve seen so much of it.
your mom and my mom were talking the whole time, trying to keep an eye on us, and taking pictures of us. i hope my mom enjoyed the boat ride, she didnt get to have many experiences like that the last few years of her life. i hate that that only happened 3 years before she died, and its been almost 6 years for me. time is a curse.
we kept trying to avoid them at the time, of course. we were teenagers on a trip away from our homes on a boat ride together down a river, we didnt want our moms watching us. we had to keep traveling about until they finally stopped watching, and it led us to sitting on the top deck, staring off of into the beautiful night lights of that mountain city.
i even remember that at some point the announcer pointed out an abandoned asylum against the river, and we thought it was one that was featured on our favorite ghost hunting show, though i now believe that it wasnt, as when i tried to find it later, i couldnt find that episode. i love the excitement we had, though.
we talked so much, in our special way. i remember i even asked you such a silly question, if people could walk on water when time is stopped. they definitely cant, but we made a whole thing of it.
we even kissed a few times.
at some point we traveled back to the main hall, and it was empty except for the guy in charge of the music. we cuddled together on a seat against the window, watching the city go by. i remember i had you ask if he had any songs from one of my favorite artists, though he only had her most popular song, which i guess makes sense.
i dont think my mom wouldve been upset if she had seen us, but i know your mom wouldve been. does she still not know youre queer? she doesnt need to know, anyway.
you had to go back home after that night, and thats okay. i missed you so much when you did, and all i did for the remainder of the trip was sit in my hotel room and play on my laptop.
maybe its simple looking back, maybe youve had better times since, but for me it was everything. it still is, but only because ive never had better.
i still think of you when i hear breakup songs and think of relationships, even though we never dated. never the angry ones, i promise.
i know youve moved on, and im glad you have. youve been with him for a while, and i hope that means he treats you well. you deserve to be treated well.
i havent moved on because ive been stuck in the past in so many ways for years. when you started talking to me again a few months ago, it drove me insane for the first few weeks, but ive gotten better since. ive been dealing with my past a lot lately, trying to heal.
not heal from you, of course. you never did really anything to hurt me, it was all me. there was only one thing you ever said, but it was my fault it even came up. i know you dont even feel that way anymore.
i feel bad for my future partners, i wonder if they can even top that, honestly. i hope they do, because it would be weird if i constantly compared them to a relationship i had when i was a teenager, but i just wonder. i also dont want to have peaked back then.
but really, regardless of all of that, im glad it happened. ive had good memories and ive had tons of bad, but you gave me my best. youre the person ive been closest to in my life, ever. we arent close anymore, and we never can be again the way we used to be, but thats okay. as long as youre happy, thats okay. i hope i can be happy too.
thank you. for everything.
0 notes
princessdreamie · 5 months
Text
DBH part 22
Back to Na at her room
Na's parent's finally got to to her asking if she really was not going to talk things out with her aunts and uncles. The young girl rejected their advances and asked to leave her room.
Dejected, her parents backed off and left her alone in her room. Na had still not forgiven them about how N and the others tried to defend their actions but she knew she cant keep avoiding them forever.
Dejected, her parents backed off and left her alone in her room. Na had still not forgiven them about how N and the others tried to defend their actions but she knew she cant keep avoiding them forever.
She browsed through the internet until she got a chat invite. Normally she would ignore sudden requests but Mi insists that she should come out of her comfort zone.
„The media already gave your existences away.” she remembered her saying the other day. „And ppl already figured out your relationship with your parents and the rest of the Stanton family. So what's the point to keep doing this charade? It will just get harder once you get older anyway.”
Her friend had a point. It didnt matter if all the posts have been deleted and that the hot searches have been taken down. By now most have seen them and the Stanton fan boys and girls probably have aready connected the dots.
Her existence has been made puplic now so she cant hide forever it seemes.
After a long pause, with some hesitancy she finally accepted the request. There was no name attached to the user, only the phone number.
The person on the other end sent a text: „Hey. Havent heared from you in a while *smiley face*”
With eyebrows raised, the young girl looked at the message for a few seconds but didnt reply.
A new texed appeared under the previous one: „It is me Xavier. The boy from the ranch Incident?”
Na's eyes went huge. She finally remembered. Xa gave her and Mi his number the last time they visited him at the hospice. She just forgot to save it on her phone.
She quickly replied back to him: „Hey, Xa. Sorry i didnt Recognize it was you. And yes, it has been a while since our last talk.”
They wrote back and forth until Na noticed her medicine alarm going off. She asked her friend that they could chat tomorrow. And the the young boy happily agreed. They have been on very good terms since then.
A few weeks after in the big kids school
C sat on his seat talking to some of his baskeball friends until Br stormed in. Everyone in the class truned their heads to the girl. Some began to Swoon on and on about her beauty and style, while others (girls for the most part) feel uncomfortable after hearing some small rumors, on her making moves on to guys in relationships other than Fa. Mainly boys that have media/model connections. Which weren't a lot but enough to make couples stay away from her.
C turned to her as she stood next to his table: „Cous! What a Nice surprise.”, smiling at her with a mischievous grin.
But the girl didnt respond to him, she just kept glaring at the teenage boy. Seemingly waiting for something to happen.
C didnt what this was about but kept her hanging: „Is something the matter, Younger sister? You seem rather upset.”
Br asked him to talk in private, eye rolling he agreed, and follow her to the hall. Their lessons started soon so they had to be quick. The hallway was almost deserted, if not for some of the teachers walking around and a few of their school delinquents hiding from them.
The teachers ignored these 2 bc they were intimidated by the tense atmosphere around them.
„Why did you post this?” Br started her agrument while shoving her phone in his face. As the light blinded the Ferguson, C pushed her arm aside with her phone still attached.
„Just come to the point, Br. We dont have all day.” C had enough of her games and just have this talk to be done with. Things never end well when she gets all riled up.
Br asked him why he posted his vaycay and not invite to it. C was taken aback. He never posted anyhting for the public. The only ppl who had access to his posts were the ppl he tagged them on.
But as it turned out some of his friends, aka. the friends who wanted her to come along, didnt post their posts privately. That made things worse for the boy to explain.
He still wonders why she waited to this day to ask about it. The pictures have been up a long time ago, C doesnt even talk about it with Lv anymore.
Br wanted an explanation, which was pretty difficult to do in fear to make her even more angry. N's daughter kept spouting nonsense at him. Most of it was pretty harmless. Ranging from standard whining to excessive entitlement.
C kept all his words back until she was finished.
Once she was done he made things clear. They were not exactly friends. Her mom and his step mom are related, that was about it. So he had no obligation to invite some girl he was trying to avoid for months on end. Lv and Na were the only friendly connections he had with her family.
He even let her know that since the time she was making her moves onto Fa and, and recently other girls boyfriends as well, he wanted to keep his distance for a while. Only until they have cooled off.
Br screamed at C on being resentful about things that have been ages ago. But C didnt budge, he knew she would react defensively, but he had to say it eventually.
As Br was at the edge of tears, C didn't even try to comfort her. What ever affection he had left for her had been gone a long time ago. He didnt even want to act as her big brother anymore. Those times have gone to past.
He left her standing on the spot as he went back to his class.
1 note · View note
stormyhargreeves · 6 months
Text
Book called nox ; turns of light
recommend song to listen to while reading: O Children by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds
Chapter 1
POV; Fiona Berkshire
Its early in the morning and the air is cold and crisp as me and my boyfriend theo walk hand in hand while my brother enzo trails behind, we are making our way to the train to return back to hogwarts after our summer break. The three of us finally make it to the train as we try to find our group of friends, walking through slim isles of the train, as we are nearing the end of the train we find, mattheo, sabrina, pansy, blaise, and draco already seated and chatting about summer break.
"Hi guys!" i say excidtedly to every one, immedietly im engulfed by the presence of my bestfriend, sabrina. She hugged me very tightly then says "Hi, i missed you!" "I missed you to sab." i say to her softly, i take a seat next to sabrina and mattheo as theo and enzo find their seats. "How was yalls summer?" I ask all of them curiously "Mine fucking sucked, i swear my my dad hates my guts!" Draco says in a disgusted tone, mattheo then chips in mockingly "Maybe its because he does" mattheo smirks slight at his comment "Anyways, how was your summer Fi?" Pansy asks disregarding the slight bannter between draco and mattheo. "It was good for the most part, i diddnt do much. I just mainly hung out with Theo and Enzo because our parents were on vacation!" "Lucky, i had to stay at home most of the summer" Blaise mentions as he rolls his eyes, suddenly we feel the train start to slow and make a loud screaching noise. "Are we here already here?" My brother enzo says shocked, Draco then glances out the window of the train and says "Yep"
Once we make it off the train we are met with our headmaster, Professor Dumbledoor. "Welcome back to Hogwarts, hope you all had a pleasent summer. If anyone needs help settling in or help with directions please dont be afraid to ask a professor, otherwise ill see you all at dinner tonight." He says strenly to all of us as we make our way inside of the school. After we all get settled in our dorms we decide to hang out in the Slytherin common room until its time to head to the dining hall for dinner. "Sab, wait up!" I say to sabrina as she is walking with her boyfriend mattheo "Hey Fi, whats up?" she said in a slightly hushed tone "I was just wondering how things with matt were going, we havent talked much due to summer break." i say to her as i smile at her "Things are amazing! We hung out so much over the summer!" she said happily "Oh my god! Im so happy for you!" She smiles at me while we contine to walk to the dining hall for dinner.
to be continued...
0 notes
bridgyrose · 1 year
Note
AU where Blake and Ruby get switched as babies, and only find out when they go to introduce their SO (one another) to their parents.
Ruby paced around the dorm when she had heard the news: her parents were going to make their way out to Beacon to meet with her. It wasnt like she didnt want to see them, but after running away and reaching out on a whim from Blake, everything felt like it was moving quickly. With each step, she muttered under her breath as she tried to figure out the best way to handle this. 
“If you’re that nervous, maybe you should let them know,” Yang suggested. “I mean, dad doesnt come around for Blake or I unless we want him to. Maybe your parents will do the same.” 
“Its more complicated than that.” Ruby sighed and sat down to try to collect her thoughts a bit. “I dont not want them to come around, but I didnt… leave on great terms. I…. I said a lot of things that I regret and I know they’ll be upset with me.” 
Blake sat down next to Ruby and pulled her in close. “Its not like you joined the White Fang or anything like that. I bet they’ll be happy that you’re safe, healthy, and working on being a huntress.” 
Ruby nodded and gently brushed her fingers through her hair with a heavy breath. “And… you wouldnt mind be there with me when we meet them?” 
“Of course not. And… when you’re ready, you can meet my dad.” 
“I’d like that.” 
Blake smiled and kissed her cheek, helping her relax. “Everything will work out, I promise.” 
Ruby nodded and relaxed into her girlfriend. She pressed into Blake as her nerves started to melt away, her fears started to calm as her eyes closed. “Maybe we can take them around Vale tomorrow after they get here. I’m sure we can find a couple restaurants they’ll like.” 
“You just want fish again.” 
“Can you blame me? I grew up on an island where most of our food was fish, rice, and fruit. You sorta get used to it.” 
“I know.” Blake smiled and rubbed Ruby’s back. “All I ask is that you dont go overboard this time.” 
Ruby smiled and started to doze off a bit, answering sleepily. “You know me, overboard is my middle name.” 
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ghira paused as he looked over Blake, his eyes moving between her and Kali as he noted the similarities between the two. A nervous smile crossed his lips as he watched her bow to him. “Blake Xiao Long, right?” 
“Rose, actually.” Blake slowly extended her hand to him. “I took my late mother’s last name as a reminder on who I strive to be.” 
“I see…” Ghira winced as Kali jabbed him in the side. “She must’ve been a great huntress. And from the looks of it, you seem to be good for Ruby.” 
Ruby nodded and pulled Blake a little closer. “She’s helped me get onto the right path to being a huntress. And maybe you can get to know her a bit more over lunch?” 
Ghira nodded. “Your mother and I will meet up with you in Vale. And maybe we can meet Blake’s father later today. If he’s not busy.” 
Blake nodded. “I’ll give him a call and Ruby and I will make sure we’re ready to head out in a couple hours. Until then, we could show you to the gardens for you to relax while you wait.” 
“I think we’ll be able to find them on our own.” Ghira smiled and waved his daughter and her girlfriend off as he pulled Kali close to him and started to walk through the Beacon halls. His mind started to wander, only being brought back when Kali finally talked. 
“Blake’s supposed to be our daughter, isnt she?” Kali asked. 
“You noticed that too then?” 
“Hard not to when she looks similar to my own mother.” Kali leaned into and let out a heavy sigh. “I always wondered why her eyes were different when we brought her home, but I… guess I never questioned it. That doesnt make us bad parents, does it?” 
“Maybe, but its too late to correct that now. Ruby’s our daughter and she’s turning out to be much like you when you were younger. We’ve done something right with that.” 
Kali nodded a bit. “But you still worry that we’ve done something wrong, right? That by this whole mix up, we lost our daughter and took someone else’s?” 
Ghira shook his head, then sighed. “I’m worried about what will happen if her real father finds out and wants her back. We just got her back and I dont want to lose her again.” 
“We wont. We’ll fight tooth and nail to keep our daughter, and get to know the one we lost.”
48 notes · View notes
fraener · 6 months
Text
10/29/23
been a little over a month since my last entry. things picked up with g, we write each other notes we exchange through the weeks in our absences from one another, we have strange and funny and nervous sex occasionally, we dont talk about how hard it is for either of us. we find ways to avoid the elephants. i want to be able to say that h has gotten better but things have really only gotten worse. we had a long discussion where we decided to open things up, which seems so counterintuitive now. he is taking any opportunity to punish me. i know he's moving through big feelings about this and really struggling hard against his traumas and scarcities but its so hard to keep up with his shifts in mood. he doesnt like that ive been taking more time to myself, he doesnt like that im still somehow afloat, and he especially doesnt like it any time i spend any time at all with g. my maternal grandmother died a couple of weeks ago and i have been flattened slowly by it. i feel like im drowning. h didnt seem to even bat an eye at the news, has offered so little support or comfort in this and i am grieving slowly and bitterly and violently by myself. i cry in snatches- the shower, the hall on my way in or out of the house, in the small hours in my bed. it feels like something ill be punished for doing. my schoolwork has been suffering for it, most definitely. ive been bothered by night spirits and pulled in and out of my sleep nearly every night for weeks. some part of me is keeping tally and building cases, some part of me is frothing slowly into resentment and vengeance. how dare anyone deny me my grief. how dare someone i have supported and cared for so much mock, belittle and resent my struggle. how dare anyone ask me to love them if they cannot walk the street holding my hand. i am feeling so alone and so overwhelmed by others needs. becoming more and more livid, more and more cold, more and more tetchy. h comes at me with his punishing tone, remarks, attitude and behavior near daily, then walks it back a little later with apologies and offerings, then resents when i dont want what hes trying to give me, and goes right back into the resentful behavior. ive also been having so many physical symptoms get worse and worse. ive been having trouble breathing, a rise in anxiety and panic attacks, my digestive system is a mess and has been for months, periods inconsistent, joint pain no matter what i do. i feel exhausted all the time. it all feels like a bad dream i havent been able to wake up from, even right down to my poor suffering house spirits. i dont even have words for how im doing or feeling anymore. my divinations from last friday all said i was going on a journey soon. i am trying to get comfortable with the idea of departure. the world will show me unsympathetically just how alone i can be...but i want to meet that with humor, desire and bravery.
0 notes