#but maybe he was just rly tired and went to bed early | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rykno-gs · 2 years

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No.2 of my somewhat senseless senarios

if yall dont mind im gonna be putting somewhat more of my senarios (idk if i call them that) that aren't rly full fics

just broken thoughts

so here i give you some tartali snz

for @selfindulgentsuffering ♡

also this would sort of inculde in game knowledge in the form of the Oceanid soo if udk whats that its kinda like a boss fight thats raining 100% of the time and also character fight water mimics (piccture at the end)

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tartali established rs:

childe comes home one day, rather early, and is shocked to see that zhongli was already lying on their shared bed, pyjamas and all.

"xiansheng? hahaa- sleeping without me?"

childe goes over to sit down on the ledge of the bed, reaching out his hand to ruffle zhongli's long silky hair. was zhongli really that tired? i mean sure, they went to bed late last night, but it was barely 4pm in the afternoon.

"xiansheng.. wakey wakey.. im home.." childe ran his fingers down to cup zhongli's cheeks, sliding this thumb over his mouth. adorable.

right at that time, zhongli started to stirr. his eyes had a cute hazy sheen as he blinked against the light, slowly but surely focusing on his boyfriend.

"a- ah ajax.. you're home.."

zhongli let out a small and warm smile, before he turned sharply to the other side, rasing the soft blanket over his nose-

"heH- shiw!! heh- hA' shhnw!! snf-!! ..es'cuse me.."

a wave of panic washed over childe. partly because something might be wrong with his partner, and partly because.. well.. he had never heard zhongli sneeze before.. and it was.. everything he had ever dreamed of.

"a- are you okay..?"

zhongli sniffled against the blanket, his nose scrunched and eyebrows furrowed. putting the covers down, he gave childe a little nod, the smile reappearing on his face.

"snff..! yes baobei, im fine"

suddenly, zhongli's eyes lit up and he sat up in bed. flipping the covers off, he motioned to stand swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

childe didn't fail to miss the tiny shiver that ran through the other as the cool air hit him.

"i got you something..snf-!! come"

zhongli stood up shakily, his fist wrapped around the bedstand as if his life depended on it. he waved childe over, sticking his hand into his pants pocket, producing something blue.

"i- got something for you.." zhongli said with a small smile.

childe's eyes widdened.

"cleansing hearts.. you- xiansheng.. you fought the oceanid for me..? b- but why? i could have easily paid someone else who had a more compatible vision to get it for me.."

"well.." zhongli sniffled wetly, "i- hH! i.. hAH' shhiw!! snf.. i love you.."

"that- i.. i love you too.. but- but thats not a valid reason!!" childe stared, exasperated, at his boyfriend

"you were.. snf!! ..complaining about how you could not get them yourself, with y-hH! heH' zZchw! ..your hydro vision.. so i.. helped you.."

zhongli's voice was getting weaker and weaker by the moment, each sneeze more forceful than the other. it broke childe's heart.

".. xiansheng.. you're not a god anymore.. you can't keep doing this to yourself.."

"s- says the battle-thirsty harbringer.. snf!! i had a shield, don't worry about me.."

"a shield that protects you from everything except a cold is pretty useless in my opinion." childe mumbled.

they stared at each other in silence, until zhongli's breath started to hitch once more.

"hH- haH' sshiw! i.. im sorry then.. hH' NgXxt! f- for making you worry.. hH-!! snf.." zhongli sat back down on the edge of the bed, his head tilted downwards.

childe felt his heart twist. maybe he was being a little harsh. he knew zhongli was a very reasonable person, much more so compared to him anyway. he wouldn't put himself in danger

kneeling down, childe took the materials gently from zhongli's hands, setitng them down into the table. then, he leaned forward, giving his boyfriend's knee a little kiss.

"despite all that, i still owe you my thanks, don't i?"

zhongli lighted up after hearing that, a cute smile replacing his guilty frown. he wriggled back under the covers, lifting the edge of the blanket to wipe his damp nose, before scrunching his nose yet again, aware that childe was watching as he let out a few rather unrestrained doubles.

needless to say, they shared more than just a kiss that night.. ;)

----

bonus:

zhongli: "ajax baobei.. you like this.. don't you.."

childe: "s- shut up and just s.. sneeze for me already..!!"

zhongli: "hH- hAH.. hhH.. hEH-!!"

----

grr bark woof woof i have no idea what to write for my boy luc's birthday........

btw, Oceanid^ (aka childe materials boss)

#tatali #snz #chieldd #snongli #mywritting #ryk.fic

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i8jisoo · 4 years

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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ stray kids & nicknames

skz x reader | reactions

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; nothing

↬ notes; i thought this was rly cute idea anyways

bangchan

personally, you two would probably only use these alone but there would be your slip ups where you used the nicknames around each-other. i honestly see you calling him like either channie or roo, but he’d probably call you the standard names like baby or babe, but also like i somehow see him calling you like little joey strangely enough?

he’ll come back home and just go, “i’m back babe!” or he’ll have you coming to the studio and be like, “there’s my little joey!”

in your case you would probably use these while you two are on the sofa cuddling, bored out of your minds, and you’d just be like, “channie, what do you wanna do today?” or if bangchan is upset or stressed, you would just run your hand over his hair or leg, just like, “roo, what’s wrong?”

minho

i sorta imagine you using nicknames more than him, which he really enjoys but nicknames just can’t seem to fall from his lips as often as you let out. i feel like he prefers just using your name or sometimes — rarely — calls you kitty. your nicknames could range anywhere from honey or catty. catty will only come out if he’s acting like a baby or you are returning his nickname for you.

minho will be laying in bed, bundled up while looking at his phone, giving you a huff as you were still drying your hair. “kitty!! come to bed.” he’d whine, your lips perking up into a smile. you’d turn around so quickly, dropping your towel for your hair.

“catty!! i’m here!!” you’d shout, joining him in bed with soaking wet hair.

or you two would be together, at a dinner with the rest of the boys and you’d let the words slip. “honey!! he’s asking you a question!” minho getting so flustered and just everybody going crazy at your nickname, “y/n..”

changbin

he loves it 100%. he is nott afraid to let you use any nicknames for him and he’s not afraid to use any for you. names like binnie and baby-boy especially he melts at, this man is weak at the knees when you say those names. he might call you angel or poppet, he learned how to say poppet and it was set as your contact name everywhere.

one day the boys would all be together, sitting for a break in the practice room. “hey who’s pop... pet?” jisung would question, looking over changbin’s phone. changbin would reach for his phone so quickly, going into text back to you.

6:43 - poppet what should i make for dinner binnie!!

6:45 - baby-boy just get takeout angel

hyunjin

he doesn’t mind these names being used, usually liking it and just going with it whenever you decide to call him princess or sweetie. princess is definitely used during private intimate moments, whether it be lewd or just you two lying together, you’ll call him princess. i kinda have a thought of him calling you sweetheart or bug, like a tiny bug - definitely not caterpillar but more ladybug in mind.

at first he was unsure about princess, but one day you just said it while you two were cuddling, feet tangled with a fuzzy blanket thrown over you both, and you just went, “princess, i love you.” he’ll just cuddle into you, turning so soft and blushy at your words, “mhm, love you too bug!”

or if you’re around others, sweetie is the way to go. “sweetie, which one do you want?” or “sweetie, which one do you think looks better?” he’ll be like, “this one sweetheart!”, pointing at something or grabbing whatever he wanted.

jisung

kinda thought of the names squish and little squirrel, meanwhile he might call you, petal or squirt. he thought of the turtle squirt from finding nemo everytime he saw you, so why not give you the name squirt? i think petal would be a more domestic nickname, using it around the house when he’s tired or maybe when just being around you anywhere in the house.

the name squish really came from when you were on his lap, your hands pressed against his cheeks while he was giving you a pout. “look at my squish!” jisung’s eyes literally glimmering when he hears your nickname. “and look at my squirt!” he’d shout, mirroring your actions and squishing your face as well.

or he’ll be writing really late at night, you’re just standing at the doorway, “hey, little squirrel,” the l dragging out at the end, “you need to come to bed.” jisung sighing while turning in his chair, “but petal..” he looks at you, “no buts, you can finish in the morning you’ve been up in here for hours.”

felix

i see the common lix being used, otherwise you call felix bun-bun. it came naturally, felix is your little bun-bun. his smile and freckles, with his cute lil nose just gave you the nickname bun-bun. i think felix might tend to call you chickadee or sunshine, he is with it when it comes to cute nicknames to call you. you guys will use the nicknames anywhere, i think y’all are pretty used to them so you guys may or may not have forgotten your real names.

“lix.. m’tired..” you murmur, spreading out like a starfish in his lap. he’d pout, laughing at you. “well sunshine, it’s time for bed! no wonder why!”

felix will come up to the counter, sitting on top of it while watching you. “what’s up chickadee!” you turning and smiling at him, looking at his pajamas and slippers on his feet. “what’s up with you bun-bun, you’re up early!” his hands coming up to his face, blushing at the nickname with a big bunny smile.

seungmin

obviously you call him minnie but something about you calling him pretty boy will make him so shy. he blushes instantly at your words and turn into a mess, especially if you give him a kiss or play with his hair after. i think seungmin would call you bubby or mousey, the names rolling off his tongue naturally when he first started to call you that.

“minnie!! can you come here real quick!!” you call, he’s already out of his room and down the hallway to come to you. you’re probably on the couch and he’ll join you. “hey mousey!! what’d ya’ need?” he’d ask, cuddling into you, and just running a hand through his hair, smiling. “nothing minnie, just wanted you.”

he’ll be leading you around the store, leaning on the cart, in pajamas at two in the morning. your tired appearance contrasts his excited appearance, he’ll be standing looking at the bags of snacks in front of him before side hugging you. “bubby wake up!!” he says excitedly, way too excited at this hour. “you tire me out pretty boy.” seungmin literally beaming at your nickname, already leading you to the next aisle.

jeongin

imma start off with his, he uses this all of the time, regardless of where you two are at or how loud he says it, he calls you dummy. he’ll say it and then smile, a literal demon. he also calls you pet, for whatever reason, pet stuck with you. you call him puppy, but think of a chihuahua who doesn’t stop barking, that’s exactly what you mean. you also call him hon, giving his cheeks a little squish.

you two will be brushing your teeth together, side by side, jeongin will have his toothbrush in his mouth. “dummy, you have toothpaste everywhere.” he says, pointing at the paste dribbling down your chin. “hon, sorry, but i hate you.” you mumbled, spitting out your toothpaste in the sink and cleaning your face.

“pet!!” he whines, pouting at you. “puppy..!! what!!” you exclaim, pretending to be annoyed. “can you get me water?” he gives you his little sad eyes, you frowning and groaning as you got up from bed to go retrieve his request.

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raindrops-xrosess · 4 years

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I have a secret

Requested: Yes by @maybebanks ! thank you so much for requesting

Hi! I have a request for u! Jj x reader where y/n is a kook and her and jj are dating. None of the pogues know that they’re dating but they see jj has a crush on her. Jj always sneaks into y/n’s house and surprises y/n. One day when she gets back from a shower she sees him and screams because he shocks her. Her parents come in because they think she is in danger and then they see jj and the dad gets mad and the mom thinks it’s cute. Y/n sticks up for jj and it’s rly cute💕💕

Summary: The request (I'm so bad at summaries lol)

Warnings: maybe some cringy writing idk

Genre: fluff

Word count: 1.45k

AN: requests are always open unless it says closed in my bio. Enjoy the story <3

~~~

Kooks and pogues. Sworn enemies of the Outer Banks…or at least they should be. However, that wasn’t the case for you and JJ Maybank. You are known all over the Outer Banks as kook royalty, and JJ is as pogue as they come.

You had met when JJ was looking for well-paying jobs off of the cut and your father needed some things done around the outside of your house. He was mowing the lawn right outside your bedroom window on the hottest day of the year at what felt like the crack of dawn.

~~~

It was an early Sunday morning, and you may or may not have been a little bit hungover from partying on the cut with Sarah. That is where you had met the heartthrob that had every female, and some male, pogue, kook, and tour on wrapped around his finger. There was no doubt he was charming, and you tried so hard to hold out, to not give in to those damn eyes, but like everyone else you were trapped in what felt like a trance.

“Hey, do you think you can be a little quieter?!” You yelled as you stepped onto your balcony leading from your bedroom. “God, what year is it?”

“Sure princess let me just find the volume button!” He yelled his snarky comment over the loud noise. Jj quickly turned off the obnoxious machine and made his way over to where you stood. “You’re Sarah’s friend? Right? And Rafe’s girl?” He quizzed you. Any chance he could get to mess with Rafe he would take. And taking his girl? Oh, that would be the sweetest revenge!

No, you technically weren’t “Rafe’s girl” but you and Rafe were kind of something? Maybe? I don’t know you kinda messed around and went to parties together. You tried to stop his drug addiction when you could but he wouldn’t listen. You wanted a real relationship so bad, but not bad enough to fall at the feet of JJ Maybank. He was the fuck and forget type and you were sort of already in that kind of relationship. If JJ wanted anything other than that he would have to work for it.

~~~

And work for it he did. Every Thursday morning he would come by your balcony being extra loud and annoying and you couldn’t help but yell at him. Later the yelling turned into play fighting which turned to feisty flirting. It didn't take long for JJ to want to do something with you but he quickly realizes you wanted something more when he went to ask you out.

“So princess I was thinking we could go to the Party tomorrow at the boneyard like together and shit! What do ya think?” JJ said after climbing a tree to get onto your balcony. This was a common occurrence, him leaping onto your balcony, making his way throughout your room, and toying with your fancy perfumes and fun sunglasses.

“What I think JJ is that once I say yes you are going to drop me like... like yesterday’s newspaper, and I am not a newspaper!” You let out a frustrated sigh. JJ turned around and backed away slightly to give you some space. “I want a real relationship JJ, for once in my life I want something to be real. I don’t want a relationship my parents set up for their damn business gain! I’m tired of all these fake ass kook friends. I want real friends! You and the pogues have such a great friendship, I want that!” You flopped down onto your bed, looking up at the ceiling. JJ stayed silent as he laid down next to you.

“You’re dating Rafe just because your parents are business partners?” You nodded “That’s so messed up!” JJ sighed “Listen, I like you, a lot. Your different than all the other kooks I’ve had the utmost pleasure of meeting.” JJ started to talk in a funny British accent to which you laughed at. “Look as you may have guessed, given by golden reputation I have never been in a real or serious relationship, but I’m willing to change that for you. O-only if that’s what you want of- of course!” He started to stutter nervously. You sat in silence for a moment.

“That would be nice JJ.” You thought for a moment “Do you want to ditch the party tomorrow and do something like just us?” You looked over at him nervously. JJ says up with a smug smile on his face. You followed his actions and sat up.

“You askin me out, princess?” You hit his arm playfully.

“Oh shut up!”

~~~

Flash forward to now where you have been dating JJ for about four months. You had broken up with Rafe and your parents were not happy, but they saw your smile when you would come home from secretly meeting with JJ and they figured there was someone else that gave you butterflies. Your mom was a little more supportive than your dad because, in his eyes, Rafe was the perfect match, but then again he would do anything to make you smile.

Like always JJ would sneak into your room and pick you up for your date or just hang out in your room of your parents weren’t home. This time was no different. You were going out soon so you decided to shower before your date and that is when JJ decided to sneak into your room, knowing your parents were home. As you got out of the shower and walked out in your pajamas and your hair wrapped in a towel, JJ jumped out from around the corner tickling you. “OH DEAR LORD! WHAT THE HELL!” You exclaimed a little too loudly.

”Shhhh baby!” JJ hushed you as he laughed.

“Shit do you think my parents heard that?” That’s when your parents stormed into your room ready to attack.

“What the hell was that?” “Sweetheart are you ok?” your parents voiced their concern. “Maybank? What is this?” Your dad’s eyes stared holes into JJ’s head. You were in front of JJ as he had his arms around you, still holding your sides. He backed away at your father's questions and put his hands up. “You see sir.. uhh funny story really! You know the thing is-” “He’s my boyfriend!” You said before you slapped your hand over your mouth. You let out a chuckle of disbelief. You can’t believe you just said that. “Oh really? So this is the boy you replaced with Rafe?” your father now stared at you, his movements slow and precise.

“Yes, and before you say anything about him being from the cut, he makes me really happy. I don’t feel like an outcast when I’m with him. JJ makes me feel important and loved and when we talk there are so many butterflies in my stomach I might as well open a butterfly farm!” You tried to make your father laugh just a little bit. “He is selfless and kind and gentle, and I hope you can accept him because he really is an amazing person”

“Oh well isn’t this the cutest thing I ever did see! I’m not crying nope not me!” Your mother was always so emotional.

“He makes you happy?”

“Very much.”

“Is he respectful?”“The perfect gentleman.” You said looking back at him smiling and reaching out to grasp his hand.

“Then it is ok with me. Son comes here.” Your father motioned his finger to JJ. JJ quickly stepped up to your father. “You hurt one hair on her head and your dead before nightfall. You understand me?” JJ nervously chucked “Yes sir.” They shook hands and JJ retreated back towards you.

“Do you two have any plans for tonight?” Your mother questioned.

“We were just going to see a movie or something. Why momma?”

“How about JJ stays for dinner? Your father is making baked macaroni!”

“What do you think J?” you looked at him with pleading eyes. Baked macaroni was your favorite. You knew by the look on your mother's face your father had no intension that night to make it but she was trying to get you two to stay in.

“Why not! I haven’t had a home-cooked meal in a while.” “THANK YOU!” You kissed his cheek as your mom excitedly made her way off to the kitchen.

As your father left your room he shouted: “Next time use the front door kid!” “Yes sir!” J shouted back as he saluted to you with a funny face.

“Well know that you met my family... when do I get to meet the Pogues?”

“Soon princess”

~~~

A/N Yay I am so happy I finally got this out! If you want to be tagged in any future fics just sent me a message. My asks are always open if you want to leave a request just know that I take my time when writing so it may be a while before your request is published.

Taglist: @drewswannabegirl @obx-direction-sos @maybebanks @shawnssongs @spilledtee

Some moots:

@tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @obxmxybxnk @roxa-sos @thatsme-johnbookerroutledge @poguesrforlife @baby-bearie @surferkie @katie-avery @poguesgold @poguestyleskye @mrsmaybankhere @diverdcwn @rudyypankow @midnightmagicmusings @collecting-stories @overly-b @cognacdelights @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo @maybanksmalfoy @socialwriter

#new fic #new post #new blog #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj x y/n #jj obx #jj maybank imagine #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank obx #jj maybank fanfiction #Outer Banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks cast x reader #outer banks fics #fluff #cute #masterlist #i have a secret

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n0ct0urn1quet · 2 years

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@fuckshitassbitchcockballs

i know valentine's day isnt rly that big of a deal, not a Huge Holiday or anything but sinc i completely forgor to draw you somethin im jus making this quick litol text post at 4:29 am when i should be sleeping but instead i am fucking starving so i am eating a bagel and then going to bed . i very seepie

but n e ways

i jus wanted 2 say i love u very very much, the stuf we were talking about earlier today about all thos scenarios n stuff made me jus kinda . Think About Stuff a bit ig. made me yearn very very Hard and so like im just . yeah. i kno that this is proly like uhhhhhhhhhh awkward kinda beacuse its late and im tired n Sebby and i have to get up in literally like 6 hours but like idk !!!!!! i just love u a lot. n u mean a very much to me adnd all and ur just . ouaoguhog,,, so ebbic,,, u so prebby ur voice is jus so lovely n god i just . ouaouhgoubgnjbbhjgnkmlkkmlmknjnbhbhnjgjjf u are the fucking gf ever (affectionate) n i just love u so very much i think

off topic but i burnt my bagel and now i am SOSAD. crying in real life. too cripsy :(

anyways

if you couldnt tell i very seep depbrived <3

anyways (x2)

i canot wait for u to come n visit maybe in the summer n for u to come liv with me eventually in a couple years whenever we're able 2 live together, jus canot wait to fianally be able to wake up next to u and fall aseep next to u, to wake up to ur voice quietly talking to me n to fall asleep with u leaning on my shoulder while i ramble to u about wc, to spend the day together snuggling n doing smal affectionate stuff and then to spend the night together, not doing anythin romantic or intimate but just being in the same room together enjoying each others company and doin our own thing, to wake up to you saying "good morning hun, did u seep well?" n to fall asleep to u saying "goodnight honey, i hope u seep well <3" n have u give me a very very soft kis on the forehead while i lazily n seepily kis u back, i jus cant wait to do any of that stuf, whether its while ur here visiting or here living with me, i jus simpbly canot wait

i kno this is prolly a lot for jus a Simbple Valentines Day Poste but like i said i forgor to draw something for u bc orignally i wanted to draw somethhin for ya and show u int he morning but then Stuff Happened n i was preoccupied n then after u went to bed i bought a new game n played it for like 3 and a half hours (so until like 3:30 am) and then i was like "oh fuck i have to get up early" so now im layin down n all that, BUT stil maybe ill draw u somethimg tomorow (or ig today depending on when ur readin this) ((which will presumably be tomorrow/today)) but im also gona be quite busy tomorrow caaaaaause moms bf and mom are going out places and i am coming with them because yeah (not being forced to go out i just never ever go outside and havent touched grass in at least a month so I Need Fresh Fucking Air for once haha)

ANYWAYS. gonna go sebby now i hope this mayb makes u do a litol laugh or do a littol :) because im lov u. u ebic. very preby very shapbed !!! curvy an chub an sqishe an sof . dats u an im lobve u ! i go seepy now goonite i lov u very very veyry very very muche . an now,,,,,,, ime gon gb u,,,,,,,,,, smal kis cause i sepie,,,,,,,,,, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwwwwwwah!!!!!!!! ity bity kis for u !!!!!!!! ok i go sbebby now goonite i hobe that whenever u see this that u got good seep :] <3

#also hey dont rb @ literally everyone #LIKE i dont mean that in a bad way i jus ge tilke #i get annooyed when i make a gaypost like this n someone or people Reblog It bc like its jus....... strang 2 me #matt u can reblog it if u wante i domt minde its jus sometimes ppl rwho Arent You reblog my gayposts for some reason #n it makes me go >:\#BUT ANYWAYS GOING SEPIE FOR NOW REAL NOW FOR REAL . IT IS ALMOST 5am wish me luck in getting up earlyyyyyyyy

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glacecakes · 3 years

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Alchemy Lullaby (11/?)

Of all the changes that came with living in the castle, becoming a father was not one he anticipated. When Eugene encounters a small child suffering like he did, he gives them the opportunity to grow up the way he never did… helping them both heal. (AU where Varian is 4 and gets adopted by Eugene)

Varian comes down with a cold; the ramifications of learning the truth.

Read the rest on AO3

Starting making this, had a breakdown, bon apetit.

No deadass that's what happened @space--butterflies and @finnoky gave me a rly good idea, I rewrote the whole chapter, had a mental breakdown, went to therapy, cranked this out. So. sorry for being late rip.

Uhhh it's 2 am I'm too tired to do my usual spiel remember to vote tomorrow if u can, comment, kudos, blood sacrifice, thank u i would die for u all

So apparently staying up all night with your negative thoughts in order to win your father’s love was a bad idea.

The rest of the day was silent and somber. Rapunzel and Eugene kept sharing looks that Varian couldn’t comprehend. Cassandra paled whenever she looked at him. But they never spoke a word of what had occurred, and it was driving Varian crazy. He didn’t get any of the victory glory, no, instead he got bitterness and despair. At least momma would have been proud of him; she’d always wanted him to control his powers.

Around bedtime he got cranky. It started with not wanting to eat dinner. Usually Eugene would let Varian throw a tantrum; he refused to bow to Varian’s wishes and let him have his way. But not then. Eugene was terrified of a tantrum, what the destruction could entail. So when Varian refused to eat, he didn’t question it, and simply carted Varian off to an early bedtime.

But when he and his girlfriend came to get Varian in the morning, exhausted from a night of conversing and debating and crying, they found Varian not much better off.

The boy’s face was coated in sweat, radiating an uncomfortable heat. He whimpered, not even complaining when Eugene lifted him up out of bed. Instead he buried his face into the crook of Eugene’s neck, hot tears dripping down onto it. While morning cuddles were usual, this crying was definitely not.

It was so concerning that they had booked it down to the infirmary half out of their minds with worry.

“You said he woke up like this?” The doctor asked, brushing a gloved hand across Varian’s temple.

“Yes, he won’t talk to me, is he ok? I mean, obviously not, but-”

Eugene’s panicking was cut off by an abrupt sneeze, then another. Varian moaned, shifting away from the doctor’s hand.

“Loud,” Varian mumbled. “Hurts.”

They all quieted. “Sounds like a bug, or the flu,” Rapunzel hummed.

The doctor nodded. “He just needs rest and fluids. Has he ever been sick before?”

“Not while with us, no.”

“Alright. Take his temperature every hour until the fever breaks, and if it gets above 103 bring him back.” With a ruffle to Varian’s hair, the doctor wandered off, likely to see another patient.

“I’ll take him back to his room,” Eugene muttered. “You’re probably busy today, right?”

“Not too busy for him!” The princess whispered back. She frowned, reaching a hand over and brushing it against Varian’s cheek. Poor thing. “He’s miserable, he’ll need some love and snuggles.”

“Did you not hear the doctor? He needs rest.”

“How can he rest when he’s in pain!?”

The conversation became more biting the more both of them spoke. Even without them running on minimal sleep, taking care of a sick child would not be ideal. And it seemed they had wildly different ideas on how to help.

It didn’t help they’d been up all night thinking about the… other problem.

“Look,” Rapunzel finally sighed. “We all need sleep. You can take the first shift, I’ll come get you in a few hours. Ok?” Her eyes, while misty from frustration, tried to shine with their usual kindness. Eugene felt like he’d been punched in the gut with a guilt fist, but also, he remembered why he loved this woman so much.

Eugene smiled sadly. “Alright, get some rest. Love you.” She gave him a peck on the cheek, and with that, she left.

For a moment he was lost in thought, but Eugene frowned as Varian began to squirm. Tears of pain still streaked down chubby cheeks, at least until Eugene began to bounce him in his arms. He kept one hand on Varian’s head and pulled it to his chest, the other kept supporting his son. Varian, despite being past infancy, still retained a love for being cradled and rocked. Likely because he never really got it before. It did the trick, and he was back to an uneasy calm in minutes.

He kept up the bouncing, letting Varian rest while they walked back to Varian’s room. He only stopped his soothing motions to deposit Varian back in bed, and then switched to stroking his son’s soft hair.

“Daddy don’t go,” Varian whispered. “‘M sorry.”

Eugene blinked. There it was again, calling him dad. So far Varian only did it when especially upset or tired, but it warmed his heart every time. The situation wasn’t great, but still the fuzzies remained.

“What are you sorry for, bud?” Eugene hummed. “Not your fault you got sick. It just happens.”

“For the rocks.” A hazy, clouded blue peeked open to stare into the man’s soul. Through the pain Eugene could see fear, despair, and anguish; and it wasn’t because of the illness.

“Those…” He sighed. True, they caused problems, and it was a miracle Rapunzel didn’t touch them and cause an explosion, but it could wait until Varian was healthy again. “It’s… ok. Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

Varian shrugged. “Cuz momma….” his voice trailed off. He didn’t even know where to begin. If he told Eugene everything, about the experiments and running and pain, would Eugene do the same?

No, no. Eugene and momma were not the same. Eugene loved him. Eugene cared for him! He would never.

Thankfully, Eugene picked up on it. “Get some rest, ok? We’ll deal with it when you’re feeling better.”

Varian unconsciously grabbed his stuffed toy, bringing the ear up to suck on. “No,” he mumbled through felt. “Not tired.”

His dad suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. “What are you then?”

“A frog.”

He let out a bark of laughter at that. “A frog, eh? Like Pascal? Well this little frog,” he poked Varian’s nose which earned a breathless giggle. “Needs some rest.”

“Story?” Big blue eyes gazed up at him, pleading.

Yea, he should’ve seen it coming. Now that he was thinking about it, Eugene prayed Varian had never gotten sick while on his own. Or with his mom. It’s unrealistic, of course Varian has been sick before, but what if his mom had done the same as him? What if she refused to comfort him, refused to snuggle and wipe his snot?

So despite every fibre of his being wanting to avoid getting infected, this was a losing battle. He grabbed the Flynn Rider book off its nightstand. They’d been blazing through each book; in the few months since Varian joined them they were now on book 6.

“You’re just one crazy event after another, aren’t you?” Eugene hummed. He got a wet cough as a reply. Gross.

He’s totally gonna get sick isn’t he?

Despite her words, Rapunzel couldn’t sleep.

Every time she shut her eyes, visions of obsidian danced behind her eyelids, willing her hair upright. She couldn’t get them out of her head, and it really was no surprise why. It’s not everyday that your boyfriend’s son reveals that he can control the rocks that gave you back your 70 feet of hair!

Back when it first grew back, she and Cassandra had scoured the library for any information they could, before finally getting some help from Xavier the blacksmith. He’s a good man, and he knew a lot about legends, but legends aren’t facts. Now, she wonders if the rocks were leading her to him, to Varian, and it was by sheer coincidence Eugene found him first. But she’d never say that out loud. Varian was destined to be Eugene’s son, even if he wasn’t born it. Maybe it was a sign that he was her son too.

Three delicate knocks ring on the King’s Office’s door. “Dad, can I come in?”

At his affirmation, she opened the door. Frederick, regal as ever, stood on one end of the table, with Quirin at another. Oh, she’d been meaning to speak to her dad in private, but it’s not a big deal! Right…?

Well, maybe it was. Despite her and Eugene and Cassandra all vowing to keep Varian’s ability a secret for now, lest magic-fearing Frederick find out, the point remained that she needed to speak to him about it. While Varian had taken up most of everyone’s time and energy, the rocks never vanished from her list of problems. No, they still lingered around Corona, causing problems left and right. And something told Rapunzel that Varian’s outburst from before didn’t help matters.

“I was wondering about… the black rocks?” She started, and both men froze. A silent conversation occurred, shared in frantic, locked eyes. Quirin fidgeted helplessly, unsure of what the king wanted him to say. His eyes glanced down at the map where black flags pinpointed the locations of each rock spotted. While most were clustered in Old Corona, to the east, there were a few dotting the island capital. Rapunzel’s heart sank the longer she stared.

Francis’ tailor shop.

The schoolhouse.

The tunnel system.

The alley where it all started.

Varian.

She struggled to keep from screaming.

“I’ve been aware of these rocks for… quite some time now.” Frederick rested both hands on the diorama that encompassed much of the office. “They posed a real problem, displacing people from their homes, damaging roads…”

“Oh no,” she breathed. How much of it was intentional? How much of it was an accident?

“But fortunately!” Frederick perked up, giving her an encouraging smile. “We’ve taken care of them! In fact, I’m sending Quirin to Old Corona tomorrow to make sure our efforts have succeeded.”

“You are?” Quirin asked, confused. He got an elbow in the stomach. “I-I mean, yes, your highness, I’ll be headed out first thing tomorrow.”

She furrowed her brow, uncertain. Old Corona… so that was where Varian lived before the alley, before them. “Great, then I hope you don’t mind if I join you? I haven’t been out that way in a while, I’m sure the people would appreciate a visit.”

Frederick scowled, but before he could protest, Quirin hastily agreed. “O-of course, your highness, I would be honored for you to… accompany me.” He raised his eyebrows in a concerned smile, desperately trying to convey a silent question. Did Rapunzel know what he had seen? Is she trying to protect the child? Please oh please don’t force him to hurt a child to appease her father.

But alas, she didn’t seem to get the message. “Great, now if you excuse me, Varian isn’t feeling very well and Eugene needs a break.” She marched out of the room. The moment the door closed both men sagged in relief.

“Sir,” Quirin managed. “You and I both know the rocks haven’t been dealt with-”

“Don’t let her see or learn a thing.”

The knight fell silent. “Yes sir,” he whispered, but for once, he didn’t mean it.

Varian fell asleep relatively quickly, and thankfully it seemed more or less steady. So much so that Eugene was able to swap with Rapunzel without issue.

“I spoke to my dad, I’m headed to Old Corona tomorrow,” she whispered. Her eyes were exhausted but full of fire.

“How come?”

“It’s where she lives.”

Instantly, Eugene’s face fell. Right. The source of the fighting last night.

Eugene had been adamant. He’d met Varian’s momma once before, and that was enough. She hated her kid, she abandoned her kid and didn’t complain once when Eugene whisked him away. But Rapunzel had insisted in truth above all else. If anyone knew what was going on, it’d be her. He knew deep down it was a losing argument, but the point remained that he promised to clock her next time she showed her face.

“I’ll stay with him then. Hopefully this is just a 24 hour bug, I can’t do another day of this.” She smiled. It wasn’t the caring for a child wearing him down, that much was clear.

“Go take a nap, I’ll hang with him,” she whispered. The words flowed over him like charmspeak, and next thing he knew, it was late afternoon and he was waking up in his own bed.

He went to fetch some supplies. Nothing too much, just some pain medicine, towels, and cold water to soak them in. He’d probably also have to run a bath at some point, which Varian would despise. Much like Ruddiger, the child was happiest when covered in dirt and mud and soot.

It’s no wonder Varian adores the creature so much, he thinks with a chuckle.

In fact, Eugene is so lost in his thoughts he doesn’t notice someone coming his way until he nearly spills the bowl onto the Captain.

“Oh, shoot! Sorry Cap,” He winces, praying the man doesn’t try to kill him. He’s yelled over less.

“Fitzherbert,” the man sighed. He looked peeved, but said nothing of it. “I was wondering why you didn’t turn up to training today.”

Shit! He totally forgot to tell anyone that Varian was sick! Ears reddening, Eugene stuttered. “I-uh-yea, about that…”

The Captain raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. His face was impassive, but his eyes said it all. He’d better have a good explanation, or his ass was toast.

“Varianissickpleasedon’tkillme.” he braced himself for the smack.

“I get it.” And with that, all the air flew out of Eugene’s lungs.

“Oh thank god, I was afraid you’d kill me.”

“Fair enough.”

Eugene shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. He and the Captain never really spoke about personal matters, it was strictly a business truce. But it appeared that was about to change. The older man put a hand on Eugene’s shoulder.

“Fitzherbert, I believe Cassandra told you about her own adoption story?”

“How you took her in, yea.”

“I was just like you, back then.” The man’s eyes are stern but kind. Eugene had seen it directed at others, but never him.

“I hovered, and I worried about every little thing. They become the center of your world so fast, and you want to savor every moment. The first night with Cassandra, I never left her side, I just… sat there, and marveled at how something so small could be so important to me so quickly.” He gave the new father a weary smile.

Eugene glanced down at the water, rapidly warming. Cogs turned in his brain as he thought of a proper response.

Captain sighed. “Look, you said he’s sick?” Eugene nodded. “Then I’ll let it slide. Hope he gets well soon, for both of your sakes.”

That caused Eugene’s head to snap up. “What? I’m fine.”

“You’re missing your sass, Fitzherbert. Your color, your spice. You live for that kid, I can tell.” He let the man go, and walked off with a wave. “Hope he gets well soon. Oh, and bring him to training some time, eh?”

Eugene raised his hand in farewell, dumbfounded. The Captain had never been that… nice to him. Ever.

He didn’t ruminate on it for too long. He heard a faint cry from the end of the hall, where his son was.

The door creaked open, revealing a sad sight. Varian tossed and turned in the bed, whimpering and hiccuping tiny sobs. His fists grasped light blue sheets, the same color as eyes which were currently closed. Rapunzel looked to him helplessly.

“Hey hey, bluebird,” Eugene cooed, sliding into the bed and pulling his darling boy into his arms. “Shh, you’re ok, you’re safe. Are you awake?”

Varian whimpered, and Eugene couldn’t tell if it was an affirmation or coincidence. The boy was a furnace, he could only imagine the pain and discomfort. Being sick was never fun, especially at that age.

A more violent cry escaped small lips as Varian squirmed.

“Varian?”

“Momma, it hurts…”

Eugene’s heart plummeted into his stomach. He felt like he was going to vomit, and he wasn’t the sick one. Rapunzel stifled a gasp. Haunting memories of another mother resurfaced.

“H...hey, Varian,” her voice shook to high heavens. “Varian, it’s time to wake up.”

“Don’t wanna… no more.”

Oh lord, no more what? What did this woman do to her son? Their son? Eugene buried his nose into Varian’s sweaty hair and Rapunzel wrapped her arms around them both, a familiar position for the family. His mind raced at light speed, trying not to let too many possibilities flood his mind. He was scaring himself, but he dreaded the real answer more.

Varian’s leg kicked out in his sleep, and a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Oh, bud,” Eugene sighed, biting his lip. Usually it was Rapunzel who took charge of lullabies, but…

“Look to the stars... my darling baby boy...” Almost like magic, Varian began to settle. His foot, which had been raised mid kick, landed softly on Rapunzel’s chest, the fuzzy socks pressing against his shirt.

The blonde smiled and joined in. “Life is strange and vast, filled with wonder and joy…” As the furrow on Varian’s brow smoothed, Neither of them could help the overwhelming love that filled their souls. All directed at the boy in their arms. Even if he was a handful, and possibly, apparently, dangerous.

Eugene laid Varian back down into bed, brushing unruly hair back. He repositioned so Rapunzel was resting against his chest as they sang in unison.

“Face each new sun with eyes clear and true Unafraid of the unknown Because I’ll face it all with you.”

Varian smiled in his sleep.

#varian #tts varian #tangled the series #tts #tangled #eugene fitzherbert #tangled eugene #tts eugene #team awesome

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rebelliouslala · 4 years

Text

Hypnos

okay so you’ve been cleaning your home

it’s spring so why not?

you heard somewhere that it’s good for the gods to come in and like give you more blessings

Like a clear prayer pathway?

You honestly didn’t know how else to explain it but you were like “it’s my day off why not”

by early evening you want to die

you didn’t eat

sleep

you finished EVERYTHING

tbh you felt like Hercules except worse

but your friends are all like “y/n Dionysus is in town and he’s throwing a party!”

and other things your friends didn’t mention

you wrinkle your nose and wave them off, sighing, “later, I have to rest”

“please y/n?”

so now you’re being dragged downtown

in your dirty ass clothes

you wanted to throw up really

that was until you feel your eyes get heavy and all closed, and now literally your friends are dragging you

“Y/N HURRY YOUR ASS UP”

“omg just leave them it’s fine we can go”

“and get some DIC”

they leave

now you’re struggling to open your eyes as exhaustion sweeps over you

you collapse on the ground

feeling all numb

all lifeless

that is until you see this dude in a very odd fashion

his hair is a light, fuzzy blonde and his eyes are a little droopy

his clothes are obviously not like yours, no toga, nothing

“a-are you Hermes?” You say sleepily

maybe you were dying

the man smiles in the same attitude, instead helping you up, “no, but we have a little time, now get up, y/n”

he had the smoothest voice, carefully instructing you

you felt light, and happy as you lean with the man

the man smells like lavender, which intoxicates you enough to close your eyes

“what is your name?” You can only mumble out since you were so weak

“Call me Jinjin”

“Jinjin,”

you giggle at the name

“Jinjin~,” you start to sing

he laughs, which makes you only more sleepy

and when you’re sleepy

You’re clingy

wrapping your arms around his bicep, you felt yourself yawn and mumble thank you

Then you have the TRIPPIEST DREAM

you saw the fields of the underworld, a tall, handsome looking man

then you see Jinjin, dragging you out of somewhere

he held you close, and you got on this purple cloud??

“We’ll see each other soon, you’ll see,”

he leans in slowly

and before his perfect lips can make contact with your lips

You wake up

the man is gone, and you rub your eyes tiredly

even though that was like the best sleep ever

you kind of think what happened until you realize the man’s fashion and the dream

WAS

GOD

you scramble up from bed

holy frick holy frick what

you try and think back to the myths

you can only think of the god of death

until you think about his twin brother Hypnos

so waking up your neighbors you ask for his temple

they tell you a little new tale about how you shouldn’t slander the gods

especially since Hera just smited -smote? idk- this one woman

so you make your way downtown

walking fast

faces pass

ur not rly home bound

sorry for that joke

it takes you a good day, and you arrive there by the late evening

you’re rly tired

but ur glad you brought your shawl

you climb into the entrance

“uh, hello?”

“oh! y/n!”

you turn and there he is, rubbing his eyes like he woke up from a nap

“were you waiting for me?”

“uh, a little”

you bow, “thank you, I was so tired”

“uhm. . .” he kind of looks off, “y-yeah, how about I walk you home too?”

so you and he walk down the hill from his temple

you learn that he is the god of sleep and dreams

He’s actually pretty chill

he sort of always yawns, which is always cute since he talks a lot

and then suddenly his whole face scrunched up

he looks like a little kitten yawning

okay so maybe you were falling

harD

“So, what was that weird ass dream?” You ask

Jinjin kinda goes silent and he walks a little -just a teeny bit- faster

“Jinjin!” You whine a little

it was that whine that made him stop and sigh

“m-my brother, t-Thanatos was going to kill you. I insisted you just needed rest, so I came from the Underworld, and uhm, I just wanted you to live your life”

You widen your eyes

you did not at all expect that shit

“uh, well- why me?”

He rubs the back of his neck, and you both stop walking

“I saw your future, a little, and your dreams”

“What?”

“Y-You weren’t happy with your life. . .i thought maybe if I could lie to my brother enough, I could find a way for you to live a long life”

you look down and kinda rub your arms

because he wasn’t lying

life wasn’t treating you right, or nice at all

but he continues

“I wanted, to make you happy, such a beautiful person like you shouldn’t give up their life”

okay so the feelings were caught

“What do I owe you?” You ask

He cups your cheek and smiles a little, squishing your cheeks

“Your smile”

You laugh from his cute eye smile, and hide in his neck, making sure he can’t see your tears of happiness

“guess I’ll have to try harder then”

You feel the odd sensation of being light

and Jinjin has placed a purple cloud underneath you both

immediately you both float to the sky

you CLING onto him again

you scream a little, and he holds you close

“You’re alright! Just look!”

it was becoming morning and you and he both rising over the clouds

you gasp when you see the most beautiful and spacious sunrise

you probably will ever see

“oh my gods” you mutter, and you laugh

you’ve never felt at such peace before

“you’re doing great,” Jinjin mutters, and you both fly over the clouds

you kind of ask him a little about his “line of work”

which is just constructing dreams, making sure everyone got sleep

he uses some sort of silver powder, which makes nice dreams for everyone :)

he’s just the sweetest boy you’ve met and you can’t help but just

sigh

soon you both go down the clouds

which is rly fluffy and it’s like some of cloth material

Like cotton balls

anyway you land on your feet in front of your little house

you yawn, realizing you went almost 24 hours without sleep

he helps you to bed, letting you lean on him

he kisses your cheek once you tuck yourself in

“sweet dreams, y/n”

#jinjin #jinjin astro #astro fluff #jin woo #astro imagines #astro #astro fanfic #astro jinjin #astro jinwoo #kpop fan fiction #kpop imagines #fanfiction #fluff

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judehayward · 4 years

Text

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music....

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight.......

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

#ruhqintro #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #drugs tw

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shytiff · 3 years

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Small Dec Wins

i cant believe its December already tf?!?!?!

1 - poli KIA today. saw a mother who cant feel the movement of their baby. the senior midwife tried to find the baby’s heart beat but not finding it. she said she hopes she were wrong. fell asleep at 3pm-ish, woke up super hungry. ate. i swear i feel like my weight when i measured it this morning was ~52, but after eating its close to 54 lol. eating banana and chocolate nextar is yummm. dalbang today is hella funny as always and suuper endearing. fell asleep after dalbang, didnt study hufttt

2 - today im at igd but joined azkia at vk for a bit to see partus. its not that im scared (maybe not consciously) but when the mom was being stitched i felt lightheaded, nausea, cold extremities, and i even had to squat multiple times because i couldnt stand. But i felt better after the partus so maybe seeing it was the cause. I did not feel scared at all honestly ._. and i’ve seen multiple partus before. i dont know why. i can literally feel my symphatetic tone giving out lmaoo. tried matcha latte with Cy matcha powder. it tasted more milky and grassy. mom thought it tasted like nori. i prever cocodeli alll the way (although Cy is cheaper). i think it also has a bit of caffeine that made me feel awake like a normal person should be.

3 - today is vk but there’s no patient so thank god i saw sumn yesterday. did some cicil ukmppd in the morning accompanied by matcha latte. tried to order dufan tickets and i couldnt find my damn ktp...... fell asleep after worrying about said ktp

4 - matcha latte in the car, swab at lmk, went to dufan by tj with willy, had quite some funn with atikah nila willy amel pupuy. first time trying kereta misteri, quite fun. it rained after ashar so we didnt ride anything after that. turns out my ktp was at barel’s fotocopy lmaoo thankyou ara for picking it. went to solaria ancol afterwards, picked up by mom. i didnt tell her in the morning that i was going to dufan lmao. plenary @ zoom 19 pm. rapat nemo. fell asleep.

5 - went to lmk by tj to surprise clara. went back home and fell asleep. didnt rly do anything afterwards because this ragged body gets tired easily and i dont eat much recently. i can feel the difference before and after eating and there’s actual energy after eating. its not that im hungry though, but i feel less energized. felt annoyed terrible and just wanna lay in bed (this is unrelated with the less food in my system). even though i met up with friends

6 - after LOTS of sleeping i feel somehow better but not to a ‘normal’ amount. watched kimbab family videos. did power vinyasa by doogether with fianti. took a shower and ate indomie and i felt quite normal, except i slept again wtf. i thought i would have the second half of the day but nah. did self tryouts with fianti, 150 FDI questions. I got 96/150 right. huft. such a great reality check

7 - poli lansia with dokter isip, matcha latte in the afternoon rly helps me not sleeping the day away, packed up for depok

8 - poli umum with dr gita (helped doing phys exam), packed the rest of my stuff, ate some risol and matcha lattteee in the car, took swab results, picked up hazmats etc, zoom discussion with FT PKM Kalideres (dr gita) on the way, and i finally arrived at tamel. dinner is granola with vsoy. Taste like a slightly wet granola bar, nutty fiber-y vibe

9 - walked in ui with ara, managed to jog from the trees near st ui until kuburan bikun wow. i reached that point where my leg and heart were going in a steady unburdened pace and my willpower to keep going on was tested. tried the signature steak in Double U Steak by Chef Widi, while ara tried ribeye. the ribeye was more tender than the signature. but the seasoning in the signature is quite delish, salty and oily without being too much (like futago ya). read poppyland fast pass from ara’s phone omg season 1 is finally complete! went to coftof (omgggg i miss this place), it looks different now. ordered matcha latte and it tasted weirdly like a soy milk although ara doesnt feel that way. the matcha tasted weird. wont repurchase. read chainsaw man, its so entertaining, funny and deep at the same time. denji mess around and be too naive sometimes but hes lowkey hot lmaooo. aki is lovvvvve.

10 - first day at rsud budhi asih. had moesli combined with granola + vsoy for brekkie. went back to tamel at 3 pm. it rained when i got back. bought warteg lugina worth 32k. walked to sbux for tumbler day its been a while since i had their matcha latte. it tasted quite good, but not as good as i remembered (?) maybe bcs i asked for non fat milk. sbux closes at 8 pm for now hikss

11 - left tamel at about 7:10 and arrived on budhi asih at 08:54 yalll the traffic. Icu. Bought eatlah double and ate the salted egg part. Nap. ICU discussion with dr Dedi @8pm. I presented from my phone to save data hehe,,

12 - woke up at 8, eatlah brown butter for brekkie, symcard, saladstop's caesar salad for lunch (quite 'eneg' because i didnt eat the cheese evenly so the chicken and cheese were eaten last after the vegs are out. The vegetable's not that variative, and the non vegs make the salad taste delicious (albeit maybe not THAT healthy). Evening jog @UI and i realized i can get wifi sitting near the lake n library. Stared at the night sky from my room, i swear the sky seems super clear. Saw tiny fireworks in the distance

13 - ate muesli and saladstop’s banana walnut cake, symcard, bought moon chicken and saladpoint. lunch was egg salad and the wings. the original tasted so good like??? maybe i havent had msg for a while. also tried big bang, not too spicy which is nice. cicil ukmppd. put my laundry at buih barel lmaoo. try out with fianti. got 70/100

14 - breakfast was salad and leftover chicken. today was bangsal with angga armand. the geriatric patient has a loud murmur yall (and scoliosis, so much that the heart looks distorted). went to margo city to see sales, but when i think about it id rather just thrift stuff lmao. bought lugina. slept through kuliah guru besar. writing this in yellow truck coffee, that had 2 customers on the 1st floor including me. tried banana milk. yall after trying to drink less sugar the beverage tasted super sweet. my headache just goes away. sugar is magic but unhealthy whyyyyy.

15 - igd siang with indah. This body sure is frail. Did cbd with dr afifah AND rescheduled pleno. Rip mobile data i have to use for hotspot.

16 - ok today. Inserted goedel and did bagging. I bagged the patient the wrong way at first (too much). Thankfully the nurses were kind and taught us a lot :) watched some bts content. I feel like after reading househusband my tiktok page is now immensely funnier. Dalbang is also hilarious as always. Put on ginseng sheet mask (smells quite strong)

17 - bangsal. snacked on fried chicken. matcha latte starbucks (turns out its quite full here) and liqo about keeping our tongues in check

18 - arrived at icu. And then opened line. Turns out hadin's swab is positive, so agung kak iman and me have to isolate and swab. So i went back. Ordered kanayam chicken and fish and tempe. Nasi liwet tasted goood damn. Sleptt in the afternoon. Pleno at 4 pm (entered the room 4:30). Had no motivation to do anything. Azkia is getting married! Spent 20 mins formulating words to congratulate her lmaoo

19 - osce simulation, kak nanu was so kind and encouraging. Did try out solid. Lunch is fish bite pasta with melted cheese (cause i had to reach the minimum amount for promo). It got cold so its not that good (pairing it with self made mentai sauce, mixing the mayo and chili, is way much better). Jogged in ui (and searched for wifi). Approached by someone selling haraus coffee (25k), saying that some earnings will be for charity. Its basically sweet. Can barely taste the coffee.

20 - had kanayam for lunch (brekkie is almost always muesli lately). The nasi liwet tasted much better the first time. Walked to yellow truck coffee in the pouring rain. Got banana milk. Saw webinar ksk (electrolyte correction and dr nadhira talkshow). What i got from it is that, dr nadhira is a different person from the first place. Shes visionary, knows what she want and not afraid to reach it. The mindset is different. Even if i try as hard as her, her propensity to growth is different. Cicil ukmppd. Try out with fianti (got 72/100). Talked for an hour about love and marriage and engagements (there are so much of it lately)

21 - leftover kanayam for brekkie, also ate roti salman in cikini st. swab today (met kris, nessa and others). muesli for lunch. i thought my body felt a bit warm, so i decided to find sumn to eat. tried kedai abu bakar’s spaghetti brulee. its okay. maybe because its not too cheesy or meaty, mainly bechamel sauce. the one pupuy made is much tastier. finished the whole 10x20 portion in 2 eating sesh. cicil ukmppd @ bed in the evening (somehow felt refreshed enough to be able to concentrate in bed)

22 - went early to icu to put dops form. lugina for early lunch. i feel like my metabolism is faster? or my body is not so much in calorie deficit mode anymore and it got greedier lmao i used to just ignore hunger but not now, for health. starbiiies tumbler day. ordered black tea latte with non fat milk and vanilla syrup (because raspberry syrup is no more). did cbd geri ppt.

23 - finally knew the swab result bcs kak iman asked kak farras. thankfully negative. igd with jordi. quite a few chances to do iv line, but i failed 2 times. managed to do iv injection to insert 2 drugs. saw the worst cpr ive ever seen in my life. its too slow, with maximal interruption. fish bite for lunch. wasted the rest of my day

24 - originally intended to run but i cant bring myself out of bed. packed up my stuff. picked up by mom. got the paper result of swab, got ksk from kelvyn @ capitol. can finally drink self-made matcha latte again, but it tasted horrible. i know cy matcha doesnt have that much going on, but even this is low even for them. previously i was starting to get used to the grassy smell.

25 - my lil bro remarked “maybe shes depressed because she doesnt have her chair”. fuck yall. this “depression” that im in is caused by this very place and the people. and im supposed to still muster the strength to study for ukmppd AND get my face together for solid book photoshoot. that shit is too much. this is why the money that goes to cafe, and the bike ride there is worth it for my sanity. after showering, things felt a bit better. had absolutely no will to study today. ate muesli with a bit of matcha latte.

26 - muesli for breakfast. matcha latte is lyfff ive probably said this before but it ~somehow~ makes me feel normal and not in a slump. like im a regular person. with normal moods. and not wanting to sleep all the time. i try to do ukmppd exercises but the pace is so fucking slow, bcs im distracted by get rich haha,,,. the latest potn update (64) is omgggg the mixed feelings? love? hate? anger? everything and nothing? the ~tension and passion~? im obsessed. watched a ton of bts content today and yesterday lmao.

27 - nasi kebuli for brekkie. went to flavola, im the first customer lmao. tried kopi susu coklat, tasted quite close enough to janjiw’s kopi soklat. had the same ~improved mood and concentration~ effect. tried to read ksk. bought milky banana 1L from puyo to give dajen (its his bday yesterday) (i feel prompted (?) to gift people when theyve given a present to me) (because my love lang is not gift giving at all so i barely think abt gifts lmao). talked with sum 33 ipa guys @ dajens house. yay appropriate amount of social battery charging. tryout with fianti, padi this time. got 67/100.

28 - ate muesli with matcha latte after breakfast. cicil ukmppd. Listened to yoongi's vlive until i fell asleep lol. 2 burger and salad for dinner. omggg hansol revealed his gf.

29 - spent half of my day tidying up the mess that is my room. figured out what to wear for solid book photoshoot with fianti, ara. matcha latte terosss. phd for dinner.

30 - breakfast is muesli with cimory choco hazelnut. mom made matcha chocolate brownies. tryna study. slow pace terosss. read some padi materials. dalbang.

31 - bought vsoy low sugar and multigrain. moved my body a bit to youtube videos. showered. felt better. it also rained (which i love). the pleasant mood only lasted til the evening. did nothing from 7pm even though im not sleepy. cant tell when did i start to sleep

and just like that, 2020 kkeut. its sad to say i dont rly remember much remarkable things this year. other than the trip and memories with minor rotation friends. i just remember wasting my life away in my house. i guess that’s the danger of living a monotone life. sometimes you gotta invest some time to have fun, to have motivation to live on and do things. not doing this makes it difficult to live day by day. and friends. meeting friends, seeing new stuff. that helps me live.

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transrightsjimin · 3 years

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im sorry im not rly in the BE hype atm :((

rant coming which has nothing to do w the album but everything w stress nd fatigue nd crying nd more job stress nd sensory overload and me turning everything into a worse issue in my head etc etc

i was this morning when i saw the mv nd watched the vlive but i obv slept way too few bc i went to bed late nd woke up early for the live and i had to rush a lot w errands nd an appointment w my autism coach nd at said appointment we called a dude from the municipality to inquire abt jobcoaches nd it turned out we misunderstood what jobcoaches are as they are who u get referred to when u have a job, nd the guy found it hard to figure out what type of trajectory(?) would best fit me for help nd now i have time to think abt it and will speak him again in 2 weeks or sooner if i want to. im just so tired nd a bit hungry and on edge and one sec, im in the side of the house tht faces kids playing around aka screeching as if theyre dying every second nd its majking me only more on edge!!!!

but urgh i cried so bad during the appointment and was prob way too rudde to her before the appointment, bc she talks loudly nd sounds rude nd confronting but just naturally bc ofher tone nd language nd urghgh h thikning abt jobs nd trying to talk nd not cry too hard when trying to explain stuff to the man over the phone was rly hard, like obv its fine if he knows im crying but its just hard to talk when crying nd im just so devastated thinking abt jobs!! i dont know what type of job i could handle nd it feels like im making everythig up bc i did somehow finish two studies in uni and im privileged enough w education and whiteness tobe more easily selected for a job by e.g. last name on my cv and i shouldnt be this picky but god i cant handle smth as physically demanding and underpaid as this, im tired 4/7 days that im not working nd what i earn in those 3 days is still not enough to cover rent bc they pay only for the delivery time itself instead of more hours!!! it just feels like wtf am i doing bc the municipality guy did admit im not the usual person he works w bc i had an education, as if i dont belong in the group but its really just an issue of having -100 confidence and no job experience!! like i rly dont strive for a fancy job or ‘’’career’’’, i just bneed something that i can pay my monthly expenses w and have a bit left to save up for e.g. emergencies, additional medical bills (like the 350 euros from the adhd diagnosis and therapy, which my autism coach will contact my adhd therapist abt, like if that bill can be delayed or split up in a payment plan), paying back for loan debt eventually and MAYBE soon god forbid i save up for smth fun. and i “need” the job also to have a daily activity and some structure in my life bc a large part of the reason my schedule is so fucked up is bc i have no more set time tht i need to be anywhere or any strictness or reason to get up nd so i just dont ghhh

im always looking for reasons why i cant do smth and why smth would go wrong and im already looking at every area where getting help w getting a job can go wrong like e.g. me being too stubborn abt companies i dont agree w or me thinking i cant do anything just bc i have not much working experience outside of mail delivery :(

nd then there was this A B C task list system my adhd therapist proposed in wihc i keep track of my most to least urgent + important tasks every day nd we werent sure where to keep track of that kind of list and she suggested sticking a paper to a wall (i think id rather use my wardrobe) to write it on and change or replace that every day and it sounds like a hassle but i rly need to do it every day, nd i can try other methods but thatd be either writing it on my phone but im not always on there nd theres not a type of file i can make that doesnt move back chronologically as i make new notes

ALSO im just very frustrated w myself bc my mom wanted to come over w food and i know she was too sudden w it but if only i left on time for the stores it wouldnt have been an issue. i feel like shes rly sad she couldnt come visit. fucking hell i rushed so much back and forth from the stores that i forgot to put the leftover letters from work yesterday into the outdoor mailbox and i already stress abt this bc my current teamcoach (aka manager) is more stricter w this stuff nd recently asked for a statement / explanation by me on why there were 29 letters w/o sticker from a route i did counted from the collected mail that were in outdoor mailboxes, and i did not do that but my only alibi / reason for not making that huge mistake was that i hadnt posted any mail yet that day and obv he wasnt happy w that. i sometimes had dreams / nightmares recently where i was late again or fucked up w a new route and got fired for it and thats quite an awful scenario / fear to me bc thats exactly why my dad was fired by his previous employee, for being late too often nd we’re the exact same. it just sucks bc i know many ppl who worry abt being late arrive to early at shit bc lol anxiety but i still arrive late every day WHILE being stressed abt it nd my whole fucking issue is that i need to break w bad patterns MYSELF, like whether i get help for autism stuff or adhd or sleep or whatnot, the homework / assignments / tasks / advice they give me, in the end i still need to be the one to do it and push through and make a change or put more effort into not going continuously back to the same distractions or demotivating black-white thinking

just URGH im so easily annoyed nd sensitive, also as in sensitive on a tactile level nd it doesnt help tht my room is a mess nd im super stinky from bts BE excitement and from squeezing my skin a lot last night, nor does the fact that i have rly bad coordination / awareness of my surroundings nd continuously bumping into shit or getting caught on smth help, which is also another reason im just so slow at work bc if i try to walk or deliver mail faster i keep end up bruising nd tripping or tear my hands on all these hard to move or sharp mail box slots if im not careful nd slower, which does still happen but not as bad when im careful

im also rly dizzy rn from haing slept too few and just urgh i “need“ a stupid fucking job, i need the money i need the structure but my god does actual labour and having to deal w colleagues every day and trying to keep up w stuff and be fast and precise enough in whatever the job is, sound horrifying hhhgghgh

OK RANT OVER IM SICK OF ME TALKING SO MUCH

#rambles #i dont even feel like explainig any of this stuff more if it was unclear #bc trying to re-tell what ppl from bureaucracies told me and each nd every thing explained is so complex

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steamingramyun · 4 years

Text

perfect ; xmh.

summary ➷

you’re getting ready for a date you don’t really want to go on. luckily, minghao, your college sweetheart, is always there to cheer you on.

pairing ➷

xu minghao x fem reader feat. jeon wonwoo

genre ➷

oneshot, angst, fluff

just a little.... bit of sadness.

word count ➷

3696 words

alternative universe ➷

non-idol au, college sweethearts.

warnings ➷

major character death, illusions, and memories due to grief.

author’s note ➷

i read something like this a while ago, about someone holding on to their ex’s memory and i decided to write it for minghao since anon wanted a sad!minghao fic.. this one rly hit me in the feels when i wrote it like i kid u not i was crying in my pants at 3am in the morning. anyway, i hope you enjoy.

[7 november 2019; 1 year after]

“isn’t this like, too much? i don’t know maybe it’s too seductive or something, maybe i look like i’m trying too hard? do i?” you said nervously, turning to your side and pulling the hem of your dress down as you looked in the mirror. the light blue sundress came to just above your knee, exposing your legs. it had been an impulse buy on a shopping trip your friends had dragged you out on to “get some sun”. kind of ironic that you’d ended up with a sundress of all things. you’d paired the sleeveless dress with a pair of white tennis shoes, simple gold studs on your ears to match the gold anklet that curled around your right leg.

“is it really too showy? it’s the first date anyway, maybe it’s too much right..” you bit your lip, letting out a deep breath and surveying your reflection. you turned towards the boy perched on your bed, who was looking up at you with a smile on your face. “well? is it?”

“you’re going out for lunch, right? you look perfect, baobei, like always,” he replied, almond-shaped eyes studying your outfit. “and you’re wearing the anklet i got you. definitely a winner.”

“i never take it off, hao-ah,” you touch the piece of jewelry gingerly, the charms smooth on your fingers. you stop at the infinity sign charm, sighing with a sad smile.

[12 december 2017; 11 months before]

“it’s an infinity sign, i put it there because i wanted you to know that i’ll be by your side for an infinite number of days,” minghao said shyly, blushing as you looked at him from across the couch. “wow, is this xu minghao being cheesy? where’s my camera i need to record this,”

it had been a lazy night in for the two of you, but minghao had come home and surprised you with a beautiful gold anklet with all your favourite things on it. you loved it, of course, but your boyfriend really wasn’t one for cheesy gifts or anything cheesy for that matter. if you weren’t lying on the couch with your feet in his lap, you’d have pinched his cheeks for how cute he was being.

“shut up, y/n,” he pouted, a deep red blush continuing to creep up his cheeks at your comment. you only grinned wider. “oh my gosh hao, you’re blushing, you cheesy hoe,”

instead of a pout this time, though, you got a mischievous grin from your boyfriend as he began tickling your feet. you yelped, giggling uncontrollably and jerking your feet away from him although it proved useless once he’d moved up and begun attacking your side and neck. you’d never laughed more in your life than you had that night.

“still. you always look perfect,” he said in his usual calm, matter-of-fact tone, leaning back against the pillows, “well i mean unless you’re covered in purple cupcake frosting,”

his too-long bangs fell into his eyes as he burst into a new fit of laughter. you almost instinctively told him to shut up and get his bangs trimmed, but bit back as a smile formed on your face. his bangs were always too long, and you always loved seeing him smile. even if it was about an unfortunate event involving your niece’s school bake sale and the frosting that you’d made for the cupcakes. “we don’t talk about that. it was one time,”

“sure we don’t. but remember our first date? you showed up in a denim jacket even though it was like, boiling outside,” he teased, pushing his bangs out of his face and adjusting the blanket around his legs. “i could tell you were dying, your cheeks were flushed. but it was cute so i didn’t say anything,”

you wrinkled your nose at him, crossing your arms. “i only wanted to impress you! i was going on a date with a dance major, y’all are overly fashionable and put together for no good reason! i was pressured. but then of course you went and showed up in just a plain t-shirt and jeans and ended up looking like a mf GOD.”

you pouted at him through the mirror, watching him shake his head and pat the spot on the bed next to him. you plop down on it readily, letting out a big sigh. “i’m nervous, what if he hates me once we're on the date itself. like he’s cute but it’s kind of weird that we met at grief support group.. plus it's even weirder that we’re going to the theme park after lunch, right?”

for a few moments, minghao didn’t reply. the theme park was somewhere special for the two of you and had been a fortnightly affair back when you were in your second semester of college because of how close it was to your school. you hadn’t been there for nearly a year though since it had been too much of a hassle and too tiring to go for him after he'd gotten sick. “i think you should just go and have fun, babe,”

“but hao - he’s not you-”

“don’t say that,” minghao interrupted, his tone going serious as he looked at you with piercing eyes. minghao always had a sort of finality and sureness about what he said, and you met his gaze nervously before he continued. “you’re beautiful. you were perfect for me and if this guy doesn’t see you the way i did then i think he’s an idiot. so stop second-guessing yourself and just have fun.”

“but-“ you hesitate for a moment, but his eyes don’t leave yours and you end up giving in to him, sighing in defeat. “fine, okay,”

you get off the bed and go into the bathroom, finishing up your makeup and instinctively brushing pale red eyeshadow onto your eyelids, it'd always been minghao's favourite colour on you.

finishing your hair in a ponytail, you walk out with a wide grin on your face but look down only to see your ex-boyfriend asleep, his chest rising and falling rhythmically with each breath. your smile fell a little as you watched him, memories of the past you both had shared still fresh in your head.

you were still undeniably in love with him, sith the way his slightly-too-long hair fell in his face in the mornings when you both woke up, with the way his eyes crinkled up and disappeared when he smiled too wide, with how he'd always spend too much time choosing an outfit in the mornings for dance practice and asking you if it was dancer-y enough, with his intense passion for everything he did and loved. you loved how the two of you used to go on spontaneous dates, to the beach near your campus at 2 in the morning or to the convenience store when you were craving ramen and ice cream. you loved how easy, how effortless being in love with minghao had been, even when it had gotten tough on the two of you in the last months when his situation had taken a toll on the both of you. all you wanted was him, everything about him, and it was all you'd have ever needed in life. but clearly that wasn't the way the universe willed it to be for you.

if you were being honest, you didn't even know why you were going on this date. but everyone was forcing it on you, they'd been forcing it on you for over a month. your friends sent you tinder profiles and screenshots of eligible classmates' instagram accounts. they all felt it was time for you to find someone new- it had been almost a year, after all. but you'd been asked out by wonwoo two days ago at the support group, and the two of you had actually been getting along quite well. as an added bonus, he was an economics major at your school so the two of you had been getting quite close over the past few weeks, spending time studying together and eating lunch together in between classes. but somehow.. you still felt hesitant.

"hao! i'm ready," you call, waking minghao from his short nap. "and i'm twenty minutes early."

he blinked at you tiredly, smiling at how pretty you looked before shooting you a mischievous grin. "you always were too early,"

his light teasing made you want to push him as he mischievously pulled the blankets all the way up until only his eyes and the top of his head were exposed, eyes crinkling at the corners as he giggled once more. you went for it but then hesitated, watching him as he calmed down and pushed the blankets down again.

“hao…” you said softly, looking down at him.

he opened one cat-like eye at you, intrigued and attentive. “yes, baobei?”

“i think- i think i still love you,” you admitted shamefully, tears filling your eyes and trickling down your cheek as you clasped your hands tightly, knuckles turning white from the force, "and i don't know if i'm ready to let go of you just yet."

shaking his head, he sat up before meeting your eyes and smiling sadly at you with an odd sort of familiar fondness. "i love you too, Y/N, i always will. but don’t cry for me anymore, okay? you can move on too, i want you to be happy. don't cry for me anymore.”

you don't know what to say, silently staring into space but eventually turning back into the bathroom to fix your make-up. you finished it, walking back out only to be greeted by minghao's proud smile. "you look beautiful. like always,"

even if you had no make-up on, or were wearing the world's most horrifying pair of patterned pants, minghao always thought you were beautiful. and he always told you so, no matter what.

[20 september 2018; 3 months before.]

you'd been working on your essay for the past hour or so, sitting in the padded chair next to minghao's bed as you waited for him to wake up. you were halfway through your third point when you'd heard the sheets shift next to you.

"y/n.. you're still here? you have class tomorrow, baobei, go back to your dorm and get some real sleep, please, the visitor's chairs are very uncomfortable," he said tiredly, eyes half open and hand squeezing yours gently. you tried not to show how worried you were about how cold his hand felt in yours.

"i- it's okay, at least here i can look like a mess without the nurses judging me, right? if i go back to school i'll have to do my makeup to look decent," you said quickly, not wanting to leave his side yet. you did look like a mess, your hair in a bun, still wearing your clothes from the dance practice you'd run from and lipstick cracking because of the dry hospital air. it probably wouldve been a good idea to go home, but you couldnt bring yourself to do it. you watched as he frowned slightly, obviously not wanting you to waste your time or cause you to lose precious sleep and rest by making you stay with him.

"you still look beautiful, baobei, you'll always look beautiful to me. but you'll be more grateful if you go back and get some real sleep okay? i'm not going anywhere anytime soon," he joked, gesturing to himself and the iv needle poking out from his elbow. "so go back, get some rest, and come here even more beautiful for me,"

and so you'd gone home that day, but returned every day after you classes. minghao'd stopped going to his two months before.

you smiled at him as confidently as you could, tightening your ponytail and grabbing your handbag. "i guess i'm ready, huh?"

minghao nodded in affirmation at you, pulling back the covers to reveal the black cotton dance pants he always wore to practice but had also taken to wearing to bed because they were so comfortable. he slipped his feet into the slippers you still kept around for him under your bed, standing up and going out of your room and to the downstairs part of your apartment.

you quickly followed his figure down, butterflies of anxiety filling your stomach and chest. when you got downstairs, minghao was on the couch, bottom half covered with one of your many extra blankets and a book in his hand, reading intently like you'd always see him when you got back from school.

[15 october 2018; 50 days before.]

"good evening, baby," you called to your boyfriend who was in his usual spot on the couch, a cup of tea on the table and a book in his hand. he looked exhausted, skin slightly pale and cold, a stark contrast from the healthy glow you remembered from months ago. "how do you feel?"

"tired," he said softly, leaning into your neck as you came to sit with him, "and a little sick, but better now that you're back here,"

you felt bad, ever since minghao had started treatments you'd always tried to be back early so you could go with him. but that particular day you had a dance class to teach at night and couldn't make it, so your friend jun had offered to go with minghao instead. you felt guilty because you knew how sick treatments made minghao feel, but you also knew he was far too stubborn to let the bad feelings show if it meant compromising your own routine and activities. that night the two of you had just cuddled on the couch, falling asleep together to harry potter and the goblet of fire playing in the background.

"babe? i'm still nervous. i can't shake it," you approached, sitting down on the other couch and lacing up your shoes. this time he really didn't reply at all, only shaking his head and looking up at you meaningfully. you know what he would've said, he'd told you everything earlier.

"i'll come visit you later, okay?" you promised, standing up and slipping your wallet and phone into your handbag. he waved you off, "no need, i'll be fine."

you sighed. he'd always been the one to pay you visits when you needed them the most, though.

[6 april 2018; 8 months before.]

you ran your hand through your hair again, gently massaging your scalp in attempt to relieve the gnawing headache that had been plaguing you for the past two hours. finals season was absolutely brutal, and you couldn't tell how long you'd been studying but you were far from sanity and could barely digest any more information.

a knock on your door pulled you from your desk, and you nearly melted with relief when you saw a smiling minghao holding a takeaway tupperware of noodles and a box of fruits for you. "i heard someone was being killed by the exam monster,"

he'd calmed you down that night, making sure you finished all your food and rubbing your shoulders with traditional medicated oils to relieve the tension in your head and neck. the next day, you'd done the exam with a clear head and passed with flying colours.

you couldn't do the same for minghao now, but the least you could do was pay him a visit like you knew he would have done for you. even if it was after a date.

putting his book down, he gave you the same stern look as he had earlier. "baobei, you know you can let me go right? you don't have to keep holding on like this. you're strong, i know you can. maybe you'll be happier when you do,"

"no. i don't want to," you retorted quickly, snapping a little. he did nothing but sigh in response. "then i guess you're going to be late for your date,"

you looked over to the clock and nodded, slinging your handbag over your shoulder and looking at him expectantly. "well? you're coming too, right?"

he sighed again, but rose from the couch anyway and slipped on his pair of dance shoes you kept in the shoe cabinet next to the door. you walked out of your apartment together, taking the elevator down and walking out onto the almost-empty street of your campus- it was the new year season and everyone had gone home to their families, but you were a foreign student and wonwoo lived too far away from campus to go home.

"i hope wonwoo's nice.. from what interaction we've had he seems pretty chill," you chimed, trying to break the tension that was growing between minghao and you.

"i think he'll be great," minghao replied quickly, "and i'm sure the two of you will make a great couple, i know he'll make you happy,"

you pulled a smile onto your face, but it was far from genuine. minghao could tell. of course he could tell, he'd been with you for years. but as much as he knew you didn't want to be on this date, he knew it'd be good for you to try some chance at love again.

the two of you finally arrived in front of the small café you'd agreed to meet wonwoo at, but instead of going in you stopped at the entrance hesitantly. "hao? i can't go, i just can't."

"y/n, this is for the best okay? you like wonwoo, from what you said i know he likes you too," minghao sighed, "this is why i shouldn't have come, how many times do i have to tell you to let go?"

"i know, but i just-" you say desperately, but you don't know what to say anymore. you know he's right, you know everyone is right by telling you to move on.

"i can't keep being here for you, baobei,"

"i love you minghao,"

silence. another deep sigh.

"i know you do,"

a pause. silence. more tension. and then, finally, "y/n, i need to go,"

you panicked immediately, head shooting up in shock as you begged him to stay. "what? no, no no no, minghao you can't go anywhere, you have to stay here with me, you have to stay with me,"

you reached for his wrist but he was too fast for you, pulling away before your fingers could touch his skin.

"minghao you can't leave me, please,"

"i have to go,"

"you can't, i need you!"

but he didn't reply. there were tears in your eyes, tears that were hot with anger and pain and grief and guilt all at the same time. tears threatening to spill down your cheeks, but he didn't reply even then, only walking further away from you.

"minghao, please. minghao you cant leave me again!" you said helplessly, your voice raised, drawing attention to yourself. you felt the concerned gazes of passers-by on you as you panickedly looked around for minghao's tall figure, but he was nowhere to be seen. he was gone.

"hao, i can't do this without you," you whispered helplessly to the air. "i need you to be in my infinity,"

"you can. you can and you will. you're everything anyone could ever want,, y/n you're perfect," you hear minghao's soft voice echo in your head. you freeze, letting a single tear fall and trickle down your cheek. "you're perfect no matter what,"

you shook your head again, denying it. "i can't let you go, i can't,"

but then you could've sworn you felt his hand in yours, warm and full of life again. the same hand you'd held through thick and thin that had grown colder and paler but was now back to the state it had been in when you'd first met. the hand that had kept you strong for years.

"you can. and you will be happy for years and years to come and then we will meet again. i promise," you rubbed the tear from your cheek, listening to his voice for the last time in your head. you knew he was right, you knew he was right just like all of your friends. you'd spent months avoiding people because you'd thought that you had all you needed at home, that the memory of a love you'd lost was always going to be enough for you. but he was gone, he'd become a star in your night sky and it finally became real to you that he wasn't there anymore, and it was high time that you move forward with your life.

you could see his smile in your head, the smile you'd woken up to on countless mornings and fallen asleep to on countless nights. you thought you'd be lost without him, to guide you, relying on a memory to get you through the pain. but as you looked through the window of the café and saw wonwoo smiling at you, sitting at a table for two with two cups of iced coffee in front of him, you knew it was okay.

minghao wasn't here anymore. but it was okay.

"i'll see you soon, hao-hao," you whispered with finality as you walked into the café and waved at wonwoo. xu minghao had been the best thing that had ever happened to you. and you knew it would take a while, but for him, you had to try to learn to be happy with someone else.

so you take your seat from across wonwoo, and smile brightly at him. "hey, wonwoo, sorry to keep you waiting so long,"

"no, it's fine, i heard from soonyoung that today's actually a difficult day for you,, not a very first date question but it's your ex-boyfriend's birthday isn't it? the one you come to support group for,"

"it is, but i figured he'd want me to have fun today instead of wasting it alone at home feeling sad," you pause for a second, "he passed away a year ago, actually. he, um, got sick when we were in our junior year of college together,"

wonwoo smiled and nodded at you, listening to what you had to say. "i'm glad you decided to finally take a chance, y/n,"

"yeah," you smiled back, sipping on your coffee with newfound lightness on your shoulders. "yeah, me too, wonwoo,"

#seventeen #xu minghao #the8 #the8 oneshot #seventeen oneshot #fluff #seventeen fanfic #xu minghao x reader #the8 x reader #college au #college sweetheart #seventeen fluff #minghao fluff

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i8jisoo · 4 years

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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

bangchan x reader | first part of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & a tinge of angst

↬ warnings; pregnancy, birth, talk of vomiting, and lots of cursin

↬ notes; fuck i love bangchan sm and im excited dis the first part of daddy!skz o whateva

from the moment he knew, he honestly was scared at first and just wanted to pretend like he wasn’t going to be a father

he needed time to evaluate it all, he was honestly confused and scared, he was nervous and doubtful of his parenting skills and providing eighteen years + many years after for his child

u were nervousssss as helllllllllllllll to tell him what was up

“well, i’m- y’know- baby?” you tried to get out, ur words were hella scrambled and he was confused before he came to the realization of what you meant

silence which is vv concerning

u knew this was a shot in the dark sorta, u two weren’t even public on the relationship let alone public about a pregnancy?

u guys ended up taking a break for about a month, really not knowing what to say to each-other

u two were afraid, which was normal, u just rly didn’t expect it from chan of all people to walk away from u

anybody else u could expect,, but this?? this was unlike him & u were more scared by that

he wound up at your place, box in hands

(u were kinda at ur breaking point bc u thought he was returning ur things)

(newsflash it was his stuff)

“i’m sorry, i just— being a father? being a parent, i don’t.. i don’t know anything about it, but nobody does when they become one. so, i’m gonna figure it out with you.”

going through the first sonograms w him & crying a lot while u two talked about the future

ur hormones r going to be the death of chan

u are 0-100 holy mooolyy

hes very careful with his choice of words and how he delivers them, not wanting to upset you

chans first present for the baby is a kangaroo, with a matching little joey 🥺

he also is surprisingly a very big fan of kanga from winnie the pooh, which he buys winnie the pooh stuff for the baby JSJSJSJSJJS just bc kanga & roo remind him of u n the baby 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (i rly need to stop)

u were a lil big, having a cute big bump to pair with ur pregnancy, the inevitable announcement was needed to happen if u were ever going to step outside again

chan rly didnt want to announce it bc he didnt know what peoples reactions would be :(

he knew he was only twenty-seven so some people might think it was a bit too early to have kids, but he thought it was perfect the way it was

u guys hid it until u couldn’t, sparking little rumors of ur pregnancy but u both decided not to confirm them

chan obsessing and literally worshipping you in your third trimester

u in his shirts? he was fuckin over

kisses and cuddling all the time, no matter how tired u were or he was, u two would either fall asleep while doing so or lay there for awhile before u were like

“ok i gotta pee, help me up!!”

no but frfr this baby was torturing u the last stretch of ur pregnancy

it seemed that anything u ate either made u throw up or gave u heartburn

ur stretchmarks were getting worse & it seemed like u were getting bigger everyday

u were very insecure the last months, just cause a lot of comments were talking about a bit of weight gain in ur face, which fuck,, u would never be hurt by some comments but with ur hormones and KNOWING u have put on weight, u rly didn’t feel the same

ofc chan knows whats up and hes there to tell u some r e a l s h i t

“okay, yes. you have put on weight, but you’re pregnant. that’s the good thing about it, you’re healthy okay? whether you had a small bump and no extra weight put on or a big bump and extra weight put on, you are carrying a baby. you can lose the weight when it’s over, right? you don’t need to feel this way, okay? i’m the only one who you should listen to about your appearance, i’m here to tell you the truth. you are beautiful. you are the morher of my child, that’s what you are. you’re not ugly, or fat, you’re not anything bullshit that people say to you.”

when u started crying, chan panicked

“nononononoono, don’t cry baby!”

his arms were wrapped around you so tightly, feeling your face pressed against his shoulder and your arms around his neck

“i love you.” u would be rly quiet and his heart would break at the sound but ur i love you, he just— it was so real and he’d never felt like this before

“love u too.” he’d say that shit so proudly and kiss the TOP OF UR HEAD SO SOFTLY 🥺🥺🥺

when u finally went into labor, u were like wow this hurts a F U CK TOO NNN

u woke up to the bedsheets soaked underneath u, pins n needles were all u could feel

u kinda sat there for ten minutes, scaring urself n making urself nervous when u started doubting yourself and feeling the pain become stronger

ur hands were s hh aa kkyy

u would tap chan so softly and feel a little frustrated he didnt wake up but like how tf was he supposed to feel that 😳

u kinda started crying now because u were STRESSED and him not waking up (no shit ur little tap wasnt gonna work but) it felt like he was gonna sleep forever

so ur hands pressed on chan’s shoulders, shaking them a little bit and letting out a,

“chris?” which ur voice was quiet as hell, shaky as hell, and wavering as you whispered to him

him opening his eyes to see your teary ones n hes just so sad that his heart drops 🥺

he never wakes up quicker though and hes sitting up fast as fuck

“what? what’s wrong?”

ur literally sobbing and hes freaked out by this because u have never cried like this

he kinda just wants to go back to bed since ur just crying but he knows smth is probably wrong because ur SOBBING so

“my water broke.”

now its his turn to be nervous cause fuck he is feeling so unprepared

he said fuck shoes on u, slipping u into his own clothes and helping u into the car so u two could go

did i forget to mention the hospital was an hour away 😳

he wants to pull over hearing u whine n grip his hand, noticing ur quietness and ur little mumbles everytime u rest ur head back after a contraction

he doesn’t give a fuck, he will carry u into the hospital and then put u in a wheelchair from the entrance so u don’t have to walk

u have a feeling maybe hes more nervous than u but atm ur fuckin close to losing it over the pain

u two are settled into a room, epidural done and just trying to make u comfortable now

u were seven centimeters which u still had to wait but u both knew u were close to meeting ur baby

when u are at ten centimeters though, chan is just a ball of tears and he’s just so proud of you

your hand was in his the whole time, chan’s lips near ur ear and he’s just whispering for u to concentrate on him and how much u wanna meet the baby

“i—i can’t do it!” 🥺🥺

you were honestly so drained and ur forehead was laced with sweat, ur hands sweaty and shaking in his own from being nervous and slowly becoming weaker as u put ur strength into pushing

“baby, you are probably what? three pushes, maybe you can cut it to one and a half. alright? you can do this baby, we’re so close to meeting our baby.”

that’s all u needed n chan knew it

surprise surprise,, chan was right about one and a half

“it’s a boy!!” which chan would press his lips to yours so quickly, u two crying and letting out watery laughs as your baby boy cried 🥺

he hasn’t felt this much pride and love since debut or releasing an album or tour, he couldn’t express how gifted he was to have deserved the gift of being a father

ofc they introduce you both to kangaroo care, chan so ready to take off his shirt and feel his baby boy’s skin against his own warm skin and he did so

then it was ur turn to hold him the same way, chan asking u if he could pull down ur gown so u could hold him like he did

that was the picture he needed, snapping it and getting you holding the baby against your naked (ofc ur gown was covering ur breasts) chest, your son sleeping soundly with his hands pressed against you

u two were parents now, u both had learned about pregnancy together and now u two were going to explore parenthood together

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jiminsfault · 4 years

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50 questions tag

I got tagged by @yoongs-jeontae ! Thank you💖

What colors is your hairbrush? It’s like a brown-ish shimmery color? Idk o.o

What food would you never eat? I probably would never be able to eat the meat of rabbits or deers, sheep and that kind of stuff

Are you usually hot or cold? I’m always a cozy crispy amount of warmth under my blanket. But when I’m outside I go from both extremes because I’m super sensitive so, spring/summer: always hot, autumn/winter: always cold. There is no inbetween

What did you do 45 minutes ago? I was in an online class and got math tutoring🤠 it was horrible thanks for asking my brain is fried

Favorite chocolate? The really dark kind. It’s the only chocolate I’ll ever really crave. I can bear milk chocolate if I have to

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? I hAve actually omg! It was a handball game and super boring, I didn’t know whats going on ever and only clapped when everyone else did🤡 (I was forced by my ex to tag along I absolutely hate sports)

What was the last thing you said out loud? “Oh my god, that was horrible” right after I ended the call with my teacher skckjs

Favorite ice cream flavor? Brownie fudge? Is that what it’s called? The chocolate ice cream with brownie pieces in it, it’s so fUcking gOOD sorry for cursing it’s necessary

What was the last thing you drank? Some nice crispy wAter

What kind of wallet do you have? A small black one because I didn’t think about practicality when buying it. Currently looking for a bigger one.

What was the last thing you ate? I actually have no clue if that’s the english word for it but kebab? IT’S DÖNER IN GERMAN

Did you buy clothes last weekend? I haven’t bought clothes in months actually omg

What was the last sports event you saw? I watched the soccer game that’s like a really big thing back in 2018 🤠🤠

Who was the last person you texted? My mom cus she’s out buying groceries and asked me what kind of ice cream I want kekdjejd

Do you like camping? I despise camping with my entire being. When I was little my mom always forced me to go on 500 camping trips a year and I feel the biggest rage in me when I think about all the bugs and uncomfortable nights I- will not continue talking about this now.

Do you eat vitamins? No, like not at all. Not one vitamin has entered my body in a few weeks. I used to have these tablets that disappear in water but I stopped drinking that because I only take them bc of my muscles and currently I’m not leaving the house so,,, don’t need them >:)

When was the last time you traveled? The last time I full on traveled like outside of the country was in 2018 when my class went to italy because of our graduation 🤠 trauma

Do you like sunbathing? I can’t really answer that because if I sunbathe I will burn. Like literally I’m getting a sunburn just from walking to the train on a sunny day if I don’t have the strongest suncream on??? My skin is very🤡 so yeah idk if I like it? Never tried

Asian or Italian food? Asian food absolutely. I’m not sure about italian food because I just don’t know anything about italian kitchen but I dO knOw that theres so much variety with asian food? And so far I’ve loved every asian dish I’ve tried so,,

Do you drink soda? Nope. I stopped drinking soda four years ago I think because my skin was sO bad and I gained weight so quickly without eating a lot so I stopped drinking soda and tada! Barely getting pimples now😎 also it’s just tastier like my mouth doesn’t stick anymore and I don’t literally feel the sugar on my teeth?? (Although I do sometimes sip on a bit of coke but only on special occasions)

What color socks are you wearing now? White with a very,, aqua? blue stripe? And the name of the brand in the same color🤠 fashion

When was the last time you were speeding? I don’t drive🤡😔

What are you afraid of? Everything pretty much. Commitment, people leaving me, talking to people, failing, succeeding, should I continue?

What can you see if you turn left? A lot? It’s inside my room (my bed is in the right corner) but first thing would be my switch cus she laying next to me

What kind of housework you like the least? I actually love housework? At least the things that I do. Like I never mow the lawn because that’s not my job yknow? But I like emptying and filling the dish washer, cleaning pans in the sink, doing the laundry, wiping the floor. Maybe I should become a maid?

What is the first thing you think of when you hear someone talking in a language you don’t know? I try to hear what language it is, like I try guessing at least. Of course I don’t know what every language sounds like but it’s a fun little game I have for myself when I’m bored in public transpo

Do you sleep on your back or side? On my right side towards the wall. At least at night, when I take a nap I sleep on my left side towards the room. Idk why pls don’t ask me, I can’t fall asleep otherwise.

You crave fast food, where do you go? So around where I live there aren’t a lot of options? Also in germany in general we don’t have the fast food fest that america has, so I always go for either Mcdonald’s or Subway.

What is your lucky number? 5. I don’t know when it became my favorite/lucky number but somehow at some point in time it’s become the number I always use when someone wants me to guess or answer a question, I use it for picking things and all that🤡🤠 maybe it’s because it sounds rly funny in german

Who was the last person you talked to? In person my mom cus she’s the only one I see nowadays. On the phone would be two of my friends and I also talked to my tutoring teacher through discord so? Pick👁👁

Do you eat meat? I would say no if I wouldn’t sometimes do slip some meat in. It’s very rare and a small amount when I do. Idk how this developed because I used to eat meat multiple times a week but at some point I started only eating chicken and only in smaller amounts and sometimes not even once in two weeks. I eat fish tho? Does that count?

What was the last song you listened to? “Love without tragedy/mother mary” by rihanna because I was feeling the 10’s last night at 5am🤠

Last book? I actually just tried to find the english title of it but I can’t find any sign of it being translated so,, “der Totenzeichner” by Veit Etzold. I read this book twice, once in 9th grade and once just recently and I will not get enough of it. Another one of his books “Final cut” is laying on my bedside table waiting for me to start it. He’s an iconic author.

What is your favourite day of the week? If we were speaking from when it’s a regular routine and I would go to uni, I’d say Monday. I know I sound like a psycho but saying friday or saturday is my favorite day is basic because obviously everyone loves the weekend. Monday is a great day usually because my day starts in third period and does still go 6 classes like regular days but it feels nice to go into uni later in the day so I always appreciate it. (Tho saturday do be hitting different)

Do you know the alphabet song backwards? I don’t even know it forwards 🤡😔

Favorite coffee/tea? I don’t drink coffee but my favorite tea is probably fennel tea, everyone I know hates it, especially without sugar but I love it :(

Favourite shoes? From the ones I personally own I’d say my nike zoom 2ks because they look good and are super comfortable. Shoes that I wish I would have would be Dr. Martens but I’m pOor🤡 I am absolutely a whore for sneakers so I won’t even start listing all the sneakers I love

When do you usually go to sleep? If I’m on schedule around 11-12pm of actually going into the bed physically and falling asleep 30/40 minutes later. While I’m now constantly at home I do still physically get into bed at the same time but I stay up from 2-7am depending on how fun people are, if I play a game, if I read/draw, have a series or movie to watch. I’m insane I am aware🤡

When do you usually wake up? Again, when I’m on schEdule I wake up mondays and tuesdays at 6.30am, from wednesday to friday at 6.10am, on the weekend around 10am. Right now? It’s a surprise everyday. Sometimes I’m up at 4pm, sometimes I’m up at 10am, today I was actually super early with 9.30 so😎

Sunrise or sunset? That’s actually so hard because I do see the sunset a lot more than rise since I have my rOllÄdEn down so I don’t actually remember what a sunrise looks like. Because I have no other choice I say sunset. With doubt.

Do you like your bed soft or hard? I thINK my bed is hard? I once laid on a friend’s bed that was super soft and I’m pretty sure I didn’t like it

Describe the plate you are eating from? They’re from ikea. They’re white with like blue swirls idk my mom bought them I didn’t make the decisions

Your favorite type of alcohol? Currently I don’t really drink alcohol (mainly because of the lack of opportunities) bUt when I do drink I really like sweet sparkling wine (I googled this I’m not sure if that’s the right word idkd)

Do you like board games? Depending on which people I play with. If a person is getting angry that they’re losing it makes the game absolutely suck and since I’m surrounded by those people I haven’t made good memories with board games kcjdjs,,, if the company is fun I like the games too tho

If you had a car, what kind would it be? Unrealisticly I’d love to own a Lamborghini Aventador or Urus because those cars are just mouth-watering to me. Since I most likely won’t ever be able to afford either of those, I’d love to have a Fiat 500. I fell in love with this car like,,, it’s so cute and the inside is pretty too so everything fits for me the way I want it to. I’ll have to settle for a way less nice car tho once I get a license, at least for a while🤡

Do you know how to change car tires? In theory yes

Dream country? Like to live in? Damn idk. I’d love to live in a country with like,, cULTURE you know? Something exciting and cool to look at, less stuck up people almans be really boring 🤡 so maybe something like spain or italy, maybe america if yall vote for a different president. Japan or Korea would be super cool too I- the whole world ma’am? I couldn’t live in countries like idk hawaii or sumn because of the heat so I’ll just mfing stay in germany😔😔

If you could choose from any jobs in the world, what would you like to do? If I would have the chance I’d love to become an actor because that just seems super cool. But like I’m not nearly attractive enough for people to want to look at me on a scEen so nO

What would you like to try to do? I’m pretty set on trying to learn how to dance like that’s probably not as exciting as other things I could do but :/ yeh idk

And what is stopping you? Literally just me being lazy and talking myself into believing I won’t be good without even trying nsncjsks (also yes I seperated these questions because otherwise it wouldn’t be 50)

thIs was sO mUch omg sjjcjs I’m literally exhausted from all these questions😩😩

I’m tagginggg @gallhali @shadowsremedy if u wanna!

#tagged #fairyfriends #yoongs-jeontae

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marvel-lously · 5 years

Text

A Kiss For A Slip

Words: 3000ish

Genre. fluff

Pairing: Zendaya x reader

A/N: I had this scenario in my head for far too long and I am now finally putting it into words. This is a little different than the rest of Zendaya fics I’ve seen so far. I am actually quite proud of how it came out and I sincerely hope you like it too (in fact, I am thinking of writing a smutty next part so tell me if you’re interested). Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated :D

All photos belong to amazing @really-bad-pauses

Tags ‘cause I am a bit of an attention whore (but tell me if you want to be untagged): @supersoldierfreak @ryleighisapanda @one-big-dreamer @santahollands @spiderrrling @hollandroos @lauxxury @itsholyholland @peachyhollands @lesbianfalcon @screamholland @ginatoldmeso @theassetseyeliner @no-aaaahhhh @aw-hawkeye @falseosterhollandfantasies @zophora @angelpparker @allithewriter @likechadwick @purespidey @petalparker @astral-parker @cindysmoonss @spideymybabe @afilmbypeterparkr @mj4president @mandatheredpanda @princessunicorn13 @talkfastparker

»Yo Paddy, help me out with this will you? Y/N's coming home today.« Tom yelled from the bottom of the stairs, sighing frustratingly after getting no response. »I swear to god Paddy I will spoil the Endgame for you, if you don't come down and help me right away!«

Loud rumbling could be heard, coming from Paddy's room. »Okay I'll help you, I'll help you, just, don't you dare spoil the movie for me.« Paddy shouted, running down the stairs, almost falling in the process.

»Good, now let's get on with it.« Tom smiled, clapping his hands.

»Where are Harry and Sam? Why aren't they here to help?« The youngest of the brothers asked, making a dissatisfied face.

»They are, they went to the store to get some of the missing ingredients.« Tom gave his younger brother a pat on the head. »Don't be like this, you know how Y/n always does things like this for us, so, don't you think it would be kind if we do something nice for her, for a change?«

Paddy seemed to give Tom's words a considerable amount of thought, then nodded. »You're right Tom«, he said shyly, fidgeting with his hands, »but I don't want to be the one who only washes the dishes all the time, I want to be real help!«

Tom looked at him, smirking. »Okay, fine, you're in charge of cooking the bechamel sauce for our lasagna, deal?« Tom offers his hand out for Paddy to shake in agreement.

The boy just gawked with wide, but excited eyes. »Deal.« He quipped, firmly shaking Tom's hand.

The bell rang.

»I'll get it« called Tom from the kitchen, quickly drying his hands with a kitchen towel.

You squeezed Tom in a tight embrace. You haven't seen your brother in what? Three months? College was hard.

»Wow, Y/n, I see you still look... stressed, depressed...« he looked you up and down »not even well dressed, I see.«

You gasped mockingly. »Why thank you my dearest brother and you still look like a 12 year old. Honestly, has Paddy outgrew you yet?« You joked, ruffling Tom's hair.

»I missed you too sis.« He laughed, hugging you once more.

»Y/n!!« Sam, Harry and Paddy, came barging through the hallway door, throwing themself at you, wrapping you in a giant hug.

»Hey Paddy! Wow! You've grown so much!« you said, your voice astounded.

»Come on, let's go eat before we all start crying. The English are salty enough as it is.« Harry chuckled, pushing you towards the dining room.

»Where are mum and dad by the way?« You asked curiously.

»Oh, they just went to pick up Z, they should be back in half an hour.« Tom shrugged nonchalantly.

»I'm sorry, what?« You asked, gulping.

»Yeah, Z's coming to London for filming for a couple of days and since we're friends I thought it'd be okay if she stays with us.« Tom raised an eyebrow. »Why? Is there something wrong with that?«

»No, nope, all good here, I'm just... imma go to the bathroom real quick.« You said, already backing out of the room.

What the fuck? Zendaya is coming to your house? Without as much as a single warning from Tom?? How fucking dares he?

Your mind was all over the place, you had to take deep breaths in order not to freak out.

You splashed some cold water in your face, hoping it would pull you back from wherever the hell your train of thoughts was heading.

It's just another one of Tom's friends staying here for a sleepover, nothing unusual, except... this time it was your crush.

You had the biggest crush on Z ever since you saw her in Homecoming. She was this cool, talented, beautiful, smart girl and you were... you. There was nothing special about you, or at least so you thought.

You decided to head back before the boys got suspicious.

»Y/n? Is everything alright with you?« Sam's expression was clearly worried.

»Yes, yeah of course, I'm just a little tired from the ride here and everything.« You offered a reassuring smile.

You ate your dinner quicker than ever before. Every bite burned your throat and by the end of it, you thought you were breathing fire.

The doorbell rang once again. You panickingly grabbed your napkin, wiping the meat sauce off your mouth.

»Hey Z!« You heard Tom's greeting from the hall.

»Y/n! Your mum and dad came rushing through the door, each enveloping you in their arms.

You hugged back. You missed them more than you will ever admit, but you still let go fast, not able to shake this nauseous feeling you got when you saw Z standing behind them.

»I believe we haven't met yet.« She smiled, stretching out her hand. »I'm Zendaya« Her voice chimed and you could feel goosebumps forming on your skin.

»Yeah, I know«, you forced a smile, giving her hand a lousy shake, »I'm Y/n.«

The most beautiful smile you had ever seen graced her lips. »Yeah I know, Tom told me a lot about you.« She almost sang.

Oh god, of course he talked about you, you could only hope he left out a few of the embarrassing things you have done.

»I sure hope they were good things.« You let out a nervous laugh.

»Absolutely.« She chuckled, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

˝Oh god, oh god, oh god. Okay Y/n, don't freak out, don't freak out, just play it cool. Just fucking play it cool.˝ You thought to yourself.

She must've felt you tense under her touch because she soon let go and mumbled a timid sorry.

»I... I'm gonna head to bed now.« You stuttered.

»Already?« Tom asked, surprise clear in his tone.

»Like I said, I'm super tired and I don't want to fall asleep on the couch again.« You smiled, heading to your room.

»Was is something I said?« Zendaya's concerned voice was the last thing you heard before locking yourself in your bedroom

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˝Y/n, you good?˝ -Message from Sam.

˝Yeah?˝

-Your message.

˝Wanna talk about it?˝-Message from Sam.

˝Do I WaNnA TaLk AbOuT iT??!˝

-Your message.

˝Well do you??˝-Message from Sam.

˝It's just that Tom didn't tell me about Z coming over and I was a little unprepared that's all.˝-Your message.

˝Y/n, I know you, that's not it. Tell me what's rly going on.˝-Message from Sam.

˝Oh you think you know me?!˝

-Your message.

˝Well believe it or not Y/n, we've been siblings for over 19 years, so yeah, I do know you. And where tf do you even get all those pictures??˝-Message from Sam.

˝It's a secret.˝-Your message.

˝*gasp* you dare to keep secrets like this from your own brother˝

-Message from Sam.

˝*double gasp* you dare to interrogate me about my secret meme stash?˝-Your message.

˝Ugh, you're trying to distract me... just tell me what's wrong already.˝-Message from Sam.

˝Ugh, fine grumpy. I have a crush on her okay?˝ -Your message.

˝And why is that a problem??˝- Message from Sam.

˝Because she's a gorgeous and I am a potato???˝-Your message.

˝You're not a potato... okay maybe you're chips, but those are pretty nice anyways so I still don't see your point here.˝- Message from Sam.

˝Anyways, mum's telling me to put my phone down, plus she said we have to go shopping tomorrow so... we'll talk about this tmrw??˝- Message from Sam.

˝k˝- Your message.

You sighed in frustration, putting your phone on the nightstand, you hoped you'll be able to get some sleep despite all that has happened that day, knowing you're going to need a lot of energy to deal with all of it the next day.

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You woke up early, wanting to have the bathroom for yourself before the four of them come crowding in and there's no way in hell you can do your makeup or anything for that matter.

You stripped down, ready for a hot shower to wake you up. You tried your new ginger lemon shampoo your friend bought you for Christmas. It smelled heavenly.

You barely managed to grab a towel before Zendaya opened the door.

»Jesus!« You shouted, startled by her sudden appearance.

»Y/n, oh gosh, I'm so sorry, I thought the toilet was free« She started apologizing, her cheeks getting warmer by second.

»It's... we don't usually lock the door I am afraid.« You mumbled incoherently.

»Right... I'm so sorry, I'm just... I am gonna leave now.« She said, stammering over her words and promptly leaving the spot. »And go jump off a bridge.« She murmured to herself.

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»She just came out of nowhere. Oh god Sam, I didn't even have my legs shaved, I must've looked like a freaking grizzly bear to her. What's she going to think about me now?« You whisper-yelled panickingly, pushing the trolly.

»Y/n, just calm down will ya? It's not like she came in to check whether or not you're regularly shaving your legs.« Sam rolled his eyes.

»But I am regularly shaving my legs, well... except for winter... but that's beside the point, I mean what even? She's this beautiful goddess, sent to destroy my sanity as it seems.« You sighed, subconsciously pulling on your hair in frustration.

»Wow, you're really crushing hard this time, aren't you?« Sam chuckled.

»If you say as much as a single word to her, I will make sure Tom knows you were the one who tried on his suit when he was gone and tore it.« You threatened, pointing a finger at him.

»Ugh... you're impossible!« He groaned, rubbing his face with his hands in hopelessness. »Fine, I won't say a word.«

»Pinky promise?« You asked untrusting, offering him your finger.

»Pinky promise.« He sighed, hooking his pinky around yours.

»I don't understand though, why won't you just talk to her?« He asked, wanting to understand your logic in this situation.

»Because... Sam, I don't stand a chance. She's so amazing and cool and intelligent and I am...«

»You're strong and kind and hardworking and smart and caring and pretty. Y/n, stop putting yourself down like this.« He said, looking you straight in the eyes.

You smiled, Sam's words somewhat lifting your spirits up. »Plus, she's so cute I could literally die.« You laughed nervously.

»Then perish.« Sam said in the most serious tone he could master, before you both burst out laughing.

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»She looked so cute, like a scared puppy or something.« Zendaya rambled, her voice a few octaves higher than normal. »But I'm so embarrassed tho, I just barged in, like what does she think of me now? If she didn't like me before, she sure as hell doesn't like me now.« Z nearly cried hiding her head in the pillow on the couch.

»I think you're exaggerating now.« Tom tried to reassure, rubbing her back soothingly. »I’m sure Y/n likes you, she's just shy around people she doesn't know well.”

»Oh yeah? Tom, when I touched her she tensed like I just poured ice on her.« Zendaya’s voice was desperate.

»Like I said, she's... really shy.« Tom tried to comfort her.

»I don't know... I still don't think she likes me very much.« She murmured into the pillow.

»Maybe you two need to go out and do something together, like some sort of bonding time you know?« Tom suggested.

»And what do you suggest we do?«

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»Harry, Tom, we're home.« You yelled carrying a bag of groceries.

»Come here, we're just watching a movie.« Harry yelled from the living room.

You let down your groceries, heading towards the living room.

»Aww, it's Me Before You.« You smiled at seeing one of your favorite films playing on telly.

You sat on the sofa. »Come here Tess!« You pated your legs and Tess immediately left Tom's lap, jumping on a seat next to you.

»Oh I see, I thought there was only one traitor bitch in this house, but I see there's two.« He feigned being offended.

»Jealous much?« You laughed, giving him an evil grin.

»I'm back!« Zendaya's voice rang from the hallway. You immediately froze. You wanted to be around her so bad, but at the same time, you wanted to bury yourself alive from how awkward you were around her.

»Hey Y/n« She greeted, offering you a smile.

»Hi« You tried your best for your voice not to tremble.

»What's up?« She asked, plopping down next to you and Tessa.

»Nothing much, I was just about to leave before I start full on crying because of this movie.« You tried to offer her a smile, already standing up.

You got yourself four incredulous looks and a judgemental one from Sam.

Soon after you went upstairs, so did Zendaya.

»Okay what's going on with Y/n?« Tom asked, your behavior making absolutely no sense to him.

»She has a crush on Z« Sam sighed, running his hand through his hair.

»Oooh, well, that... still doesn't explain why she's acting the way she is...?« Tom waited for an explanation.

»Well, she doesn't think she stands a chance with Z.« Sam explained.

»Oh my god, are you serious right now?« Tom asked, staring unbelievably at Sam.

»Yeah tell me about it, but try convincing Y/n into it... you know how she is.«

»I told Zendaya to invite her to do something together, to bond you know?« Tom said, his voice hopeful.

»Are you sure you won't just make things more awkward between them this way?« Harry questioned, sceptical.

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There was knock on your door.

»Y/n? Can I come in?« Zendaya's muffled voice made your heart skip a beat.

»Uh, yeah, sure.« You cleared your throat, quickly grabbing a few of the clothes laying around the room and hiding them under your bed. »What's good?« You asked once she stepped in.

»Well, I got this spa cupones today and I was wondering if you wanted to join me?« She asked, playing with her sleeves nervously.

Her words sent your brain into overdrive. Oh my goodness, Zendaya just asked you to come to a spa with her. Zendaya freaking Coleman asked you to go to a spa with her! But... what if you make things awkward, what if she's only asking you to be nice and doesn't actually want you to come with her, what if...?

»Y/n?« Her voice broke your trans. »I'm sorry, you don't have to go if you don't want to.« There was a genuine disappointment in her voice.

»No, no, I...« you cleared your throat once more, »I would love to go.«

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. »Oh that's wonderful!« She chipped. »Come on, let's go!«

»Wait... right now?« You gulped nervously.

»Well yes, unless... you don't want to go right now?« She raised her eyebrow in question.

»No, it's okay, just give me a second to get ready okay?«

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You were walking down the pavement, your hands freezing. How could you be so stupid to forget your mittens at home, in this weather. You tried pulling your sleeves over your hand in hopes it would help, unfortunately it proved out to be useless.

»Jesus Y/n, your hands are literally turning blue from the cold, here«, she said, taking a hold of your hands, »let me help.«

You had to bite your tongue in order to stop yourself from squealing. Not only were your hands getting warmer, your entire body was.

When you arrived at the spa, you two decided to go to the pool first, you both needed to warm up a bit, after walking the entire way over here, in this icy weather.

You had to force yourself not to gawk at Z like a madman. She looked stunning, her olive green swimsuit complimenting her beautiful tawny complexion.

»Last one in the pool buys hot chocolate.« She yelled, running towards the pool.

You quickly ran after her, but just before you managed to reach the pool your foot slipped, sending you face down to the ground.

Zendaya rushed back to you, helping you get up. »Shit, Y/n, can you stand?« Panic was clear in her voice.

No, no you couldn't, but no so much because of the pain, but because you just face planted in front of your crush. Oh god, you were a mess.

You clutched hard on her arm. »I am a little dizzy.« You admitted.

»Yeah, no wonder, you're bleeding«, she rubbed soothing circles on your back, »come on, let's get you cleaned up.« She said, allowing you to lean almost your entire weight on her, taking you to the toilets.

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You were sitting on a toilet seat, while she went to get first aid.

»I am sorry, this is my fault.« She said, pressing a damp cotton ball to the side of your forehead, where your wound was.

»No, no it's not, you're not the one who was careless enough to ignore the fact that floor was wet and full on sprinted to the pool.« You laughed, hoping your words would reassure her.

She gave you a tight smile, not once removing her eyes from your wound.

The feeling of her hot breath send shivers down your spine, every nerve inside of you seemed so much more sensitive when you were around her.

»There« she said, after she finished cleaning the gash, pressing a gentle kiss to it.

After she realized what she has done, she froze, her soft lips promptly leaving your skin.

»I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.« She stammered.

Your mind quite literally exploded. You looked at her and you could see she was just as much of a mess as you were.

You took a hold of her hands, giving them a comforting squeeze. You stared deep into her eyes. ˝Oh hell, it's now or never, be brave for once in your life˝ you thought, slowly leaning in, your foreheads now touching. You gave her enough time to back away, but all she did was close her eyes before you softly brushed your lips against hers.

After a while, you slowly broke the kiss. She didn't even give you a second to think, before she pressed her lips back to yours, only this time, with much more passion. She grazed her tounge against your bottom lip, begging you to give her entrance and you happily obliged, the feeling of her tounge like a drug to you.

A knock on the door broke your makeout session. »Is everything okay in there, do you need anything else for the wound?« It was the receptionist who gave Zendaya the first aid.

»No, we're good.« You yelled back, a little out of breath.

»Come on, let's go back before they call you an ambulance«, she smirked, »We'll continue this later.«

#zendaya x reader #zendaya coleman #zendaya imagine #z #wlw #bisexual reader #bi #lgbtq fic #lgbtq #reader insert #zendaya #spiderman homecoming #reblog #tom holland x reader #sam holland #paddy holland #harry holland

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frywen-babbles · 5 years

Text

Sounds of Silence pt6

"They shouldn't send you messages like that. You've done nothing wrong."

"It's okay. It'll die out soon enough when they realise I won't make any of this public. I just want to move on with my life." She shoved some cake into her mouth before she continued. "Enough about me. How have you been?"

"Studying," he replied before he thought of something. "I'll visit mother tomorrow... I thought... maybe you'd..."

"I'd love to come. Just tell me when and where and I'll be there."

He nodded in response and took a sip of his tea. Why was the situation suddenly so... awkward. What did people talk about in dates... non-dates anyway?

"Um... What's the new job you got?"

"The same old. Shelving in a grocery store, just in a different one than before."

"That must be... interesting."

"Please, it's boring as fuck. But it's a job."

Mitsunari regarded her carefully. Once she had talked about wanting to become a teacher and he couldn't but wonder what had become of those dreams. Now she seemed content at working in a grocery store, her dreams seemingly forgotten. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but he remembered how fondly she had talked about her dream. Had she given up on it completely? She wouldn't, would she? He worked so hard to achieve his dream and proving himself it seemed almost unthinkable someone would just give up.

"Earth to Manju-boy, are you even paying attention to me?" Mitsunari was woken from his thoughts when she tapped his arm gently.

"Just thinking about my studies."

"How are they going anyways?"

*****

Miraculously, their non-date had ended well and way less awkwardly than he had feared. They had ended up talking about his studies for way longer than he had planned, but she hadn't seemed to mind.

He was just about to go to sleep when his phone blinged with a message.

She didn't reply so he put his phone down and closed his eyes ready to sleep. But just as he had drifted off his phone blinged with a new message waking him up.

***

The next day he waited for her in front of the hospital. He had come way too early so his thoughts turned into the previous day and to his... non-date. She had looked very pretty. Beautiful. He looked at his watch when he felt a light tap on his arm and turned around to find her standing next to him.

"Are you sure you want to come?" he asked.

"Of course! I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't want to."

Mitsunari sneaked into the first bathroom in the ward and a moment later when he emerged he expected her to laugh or... something. Instead, she looked at him earnestly, her expression serious.

"Are you ready?" she asked before she reached to straighten out a hair on his wig. He gave a firm nod before he headed out towards his mother's room.

"Mitsunari!" He stopped when he heard his name and sighed before he turned around to greet one of the nurses. "I see you brought your girlfriend today, how nice of you. Why haven't you told us before you have a girlfriend?" the nurse winked at him and he resisted the urge to either roll his eyes or facepalm.

"We're friends," he said at the same time she bowed.

"Thank you for taking care of Mitsunari," she said aloud. It was the first time Mitsunari had heard her speak. He missed completely when she introduced herself, his mind focused only on the sound of her voice, on the way she slowly pronounced each word, on the melody of her voice and he couldn't help but want to hear her voice again and again. He wanted to hear what she sounded like when she was happy, when she was excited, when she was sad. He felt selfish in his want, but still, he wanted her to show all sides of herself to him.

Mitsunari tugged on her arm and bowed to the nurse, repeating his earlier words of them being just friends, but it didn't wipe the knowing smile from the nurse's lips.

Just when he was about to knock on the door of his mother's room, he felt her take a hold of his hand and give it a firm squeeze. He held her hand a bit tighter too and knocked on the door.

"Mother? It's me, Saki."

"Saki! My beautiful, darling Saki!" He heard her voice before he saw her.

"Mother, I brought a friend with me." He stepped inside and gently pulled her in with him and introduced her.

"It is nice to meet you, Mrs Ishida." She bowed and his mother beamed at them. He didn't even remember when he had seen her looking so happy.

"I'm so happy Saki brought a friend with her! Come here, sit." His mother patted the bed beside her. She glanced at him and when he nodded she sat beside her.

"Thank you."

She paid close attention to his mother, turning every now and then to him for clarification. He felt like his mother recited every embarrassing thing he had ever done, his face burning hot with embarrassment under the makeup. A small (well, a big) consolation was hearing her laugh aloud, something he hadn't heard since the day after he had rescued her from her ex.

When his mother started to look tired he got up and nudged her arm.

"I think we should go now, mother. I'll come back soon."

"Please bring your lovely friend again too! It warms my heart to know you have such a good friend."

"I'll have to ask her..." he mumbled giving his mother a hug.

When he took her hand to lead her outside he could feel her hand tremble. He glanced at her, but her expression was a calm, calculated mask. As soon as they were outside of the door he let go of her hand.

"Your hands are trembling."

"You're imagining things," she replied with a smile which didn't quite reach her eyes.

"But-" he started, but was cut off when she turned away from him.

"Excuse me..." she hurried to the nearest bathroom leaving him to stare after her. He was still staring at the door when she emerged a moment later her eyes red and puffy.

“Sorry...” she forced a smile and as much as he wanted to ask, he decided not to pry was probably the best option.

“I’ll go change. We could... You could come for tea... if you want.” How did people ask others to hang out? It was apparent he was terrible at it.

“I’d love to.” This time the smile she gave him was genuine.

Their trip at his place was mostly filled with comfortable silence. She leaned against his shoulder on the train, dozing off every now and then. He concluded she must be tired but didn’t want to pry the reason why. She would tell him if she wanted to.

When they reached his apartment, Hideyoshi was already there, half asleep watching YouTube videos in the living room.

“Oh, heeey... I didn’t think you’d be back yet, you okay?” he mumbled waving his hand at his general direction without turning around.

“We came to make some food.”

“We? I thought you went to- oh hi!” Hideyoshi turned around to look at them and as soon as he saw her he waved at them awkwardly.

He laid over the handrest of the sofa looking at them while they unloaded the groceries and prepared the food.

Mitsunari sighed and turned to look at Hideyoshi, who had a bright smile on his lips as soon as he looked at him. “Do you want something? If you don’t, stop staring like a starved puppy. The mutt next door does a good enough job on that already without your help.”

"I thought you'd never ask me to join! It smells so good."

Hideyoshi made the table and they sat down to eat.

"So, what were you up today?" Hideyoshi asked filling his bowl with food.

"None of your business."

"So it was a secret date!"

Mitsunari was just about to reply when she coughed and reached for a glass of water her face starting to turn an adorable shade of red.

"Are you okay?" he asked her when she managed to gulp down some water her face still bright red.

"Why does Monkey think we went on a secret date?"

Mitsunari felt his cheeks start to burn out of embarrassment too, her embarrassment only increasing his own.

"I don't know! Stop inventing stupid nicknames to my friends."

"Shut it Manju-boy! You better tell Monkey-boy he has it all wrong. We are friends, nothing else."

Mitsunari translated her words to Hideyoshi who had been grinning knowingly at their mutual blushing, but he couldn't help the pang in his heart at her flat out refusal of them being on a date.

It must be so terrible to her to even think him as a man after what she had seen of him today. After all, she knew of him.

She would never see him in any other way than as a friend and realising that hurt way more than he thought it would. It hurt so much for a while he couldn't even think straight, yet alone be a part of the conversation.

"Mitsunari, did you hear what I said?" Hideyoshi's words brought him back to himself and when he glanced at her, even she was staring at him with a small frown between her (very beautiful) brows.

"No, my mind was elsewhere."

"In the gutter, I imagine?" Hideyoshi winked at him but all he could do was roll his eyes.

"You had *something* to say, so spit it out."

"Um, yeah, Nobu wants us to go play Wii next Sunday, why don't you two come too?"

"And he expects us just happily spend a Sunday dealing with utter torture?"

"There will be free food! Nothing beats free food."

"Fine..." he grumbled and turned to her, but her eyes were already sparkling. "A friend of ours wants us to go play Wii at his place on Sunday. Do you want to come?"

"Only if I get the promised free food you were talking about!"

***

The next Sunday they found themselves in front of a grand downtown building where Nobunaga's personal apartment was. She was staring at it her mouth agape.

"Your friend lives here?"

"Yeah."

"Wow..."

She held onto his sleeve when they entered the building, her eyes wide at the sight of the doorman and the security.

When the doors opened at the top floor she was stunned. He had to nearly drag her forward to meet their host.

Not that that went any better. As soon as she saw Nobunaga, she yanked at his sleeve until he was sure it would rip off.

"That's- that's O-da No-bu-na-ga!"

"I know. Now stop pulling my sleeve!"

"But... how?"

"Blame Hi-de-yo-shi, he always wants to drag me along..."

"Wait how does Monkey know him?"

He was about to reply when Nobunaga seemed to get bored of not being a part of the conversation.

"The least you could do was to introduce her."

As soon has he had managed to introduce her, Hideyoshi, who had come at the same time with them leant towards Nobunaga with a conspirational grin.

"You know, she's Mitsunari's 'special friend'"

"Oh, is she now?" Nobunaga had an amused smile on his lips when he eyed her.

"Stop making it sound so dirty," he huffed at them and took her hand to lead her away from the two men determined to misunderstand their relationship.

They found Hanbei huddled at a corner already, his nose deep in a book. He didn't pay any attention to them so they sat on the sofa next to him. She was tense, eying her surroundings like a caged animal before she turned to him.

"Just... how? You do know he's very famous, right?"

"Yes. But Hi-de-yo-shi keeps dragging me along every time..."

"You're playing Wii with the famous O-da No-bu-na-ga..." she repeated it to herself as if to make sure she understood correctly. Suddenly, she lifted her head and grasped his arm. "How did he know who I was?"

"It was him who offered to let you stay in the guestroom in the house. It's only used when someone in the Oda family has important guests over."

"Wait what? I thought that was where miss Oichi lives?"

"No, she was just staying over so you wouldn't have to be alone."

She buried her head in her hands for a while before she looked at him again, a hints of despair in her expression.

"How can I ever repay them?"

"You don't have to. Everyone wanted to help."

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Even though it ate him alive he’d had to ask for their help there was no way he would tell her that. He would repay them as soon as possible.

The atmosphere relaxed as more people showed up. She didn’t leave his side until her gaze shifted to all of the snacks Nobunaga had brought out.

"What a nasty little piggy you have found for yourself."

There were people he’d be glad if he never had to see ever again. Tokugawa Ieyasu was one of them. Even the existence of him made Mitsunari’s skin crawl with disgust, let alone hearing whatever hideous thing he had to say. Why Nobunaga kept inviting the man was beyond him.

"Shut your mouth, filthy tanuki!" he spat back at Ieyasu, his eyes on her. She kept happily showing a snack after snack into her mouth until she glanced at him.

She froze, her eyes travelling from him to Hideyoshi and back at him.

"What happened?"

"It's nothing."

"Why won't you tell me?" She looked around the room, at everyone staring at them and she shrank back, averting her eyes to the floor. She made a quick bow and fled the room.

He followed her to the entrance hall, where she was desperately hitting the button to call the elevator, her face turned away from him so he couldn't see her expression. She cast a quick glance at him before she averted her eyes again and dug out her phone.

The doors slid open and she took a step towards the elevator, but he took a hold of her arm to stop her. He needed... wanted to know what was wrong with her. Why did she suddenly decide to run away from him.

She froze, standing completely still. He slowly let go of her arm and she quickly hugged herself. He was at loss at what to do. He followed her to the elevator, but she kept her eyes on the door, completely ignoring his presence.

Had he done something wrong? If he had, he had no idea what it might be or why had she reacted the way she had.

When they reached the ground floor he followed her out of the elevator but reached for her arm again, this time just to gently touch her. She turned to look at him, tears glistening on her cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away, her lips pursed to stop the quiver of her lower lip.

"What happened?" he asked. She took her phone and fiddled with it for a moment and soon he heard his phone alert him of a new message.

She turned around to walk out of the door, but he reached for her again.

"What do you mean? Explain." She was just about to look at her phone again when he tapped on her arm again. "Talk to me."

She turned her head away from him and he was just about to reach for her arm again when the security guard interrupted them.

"Is everything alrigh, miss?" he asked. She jumped a bit and looked at his face, a small frown between her brows.

"...sorry...?" she whispered.

"Is everything alright, miss? Is this man bothering you? Do you need a taxi to get you home?"

"Thank you, we're fine," Mitsunari interrupted.

"I was talking to the young lady, sir." The security guard gave him a stern look. She looked from him to the security guard, her expression guarded.

"...fine... no... taxi..." she mumbled.

"Could we talk somewhere a bit more private?" Mitsunari asked the security guard, who pointed them at a bench at the side of the entrance hall, hidden from the view by a large plant. He guided her to sit down and sat next to her touching her hand gently to get her to look at him.

"Talk to me, please?"

"This... everything was a bad idea. I should have listened to Yoshi, I’ll never fit in..."

@masamunesmistress @han-pan @you-mass-effect-my-dragon-age @honeybeelily @dreamfar628

#slbp #slbp fanfic #ishida mitsunari #toyotomi hideyoshi #voltage fanfic #frywen writes #sounds of silence fic

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