#but like. with Normal. Will even said that Normal’s inability to accept love from others is why he can’t keep relationships as an adult | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

limarieb · 1 month

Text

so high school

Pairing(s): Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Summary: Growing up, you could never understand how people your age were so romantically interested in other people. You begin to understand for the first time, however, when you encounter a certain Sokovian during your first semester of university.

Warnings: mentions of underage drinking, college!au, friends (?) to lovers, college au, making out, slight angst (but not really)

Word Count: 4.0k

Author's Note: everyone say thank you taylor swift for the spontaneous new fic! also this is lightly proofread, so edits might be made later oops

Main Masterlist | ao3 | Wattpad

...

Growing up, you never truly dated anyone. Sure, you had crushes on fictional characters in the media you consumed, and you allotted arguably too much time to admiring celebrities online; but, you never saw anyone in your personal life in such a light. At various hangouts and sleepovers over the years, you noticed just how much your friends discussed their love lives. Hushed whispers and sighs of the same phrase, “I really like them,” flooded your ears in the hallways at school. You had originally tried to join in on the conversations, not wanting to be excluded, but you simply couldn't engage in them wholeheartedly; eventually, the inability to relate began to upset you. You naturally boiled it down to something that must have been wrong with you — how could it possibly be normal to be like this when everyone else around you seemed to share these romantic sentiments?

Thankfully, you became completely preoccupied, both mentally and physically, by the prospect of university. By the time your junior year of high school had started, your love life — or lack thereof — no longer held too much importance to you. Instead of keeping whimsical love letters on your desk like others your age did, you opted to pile various books. From Camus to Aristotle, you discovered a deep fascination and affinity to the field of philosophy and the metaphysical discussions it posed. Therefore, when your senior year had arrived, you threw yourself head first into your studies, determined to build up your application in order to get into a top university.

After accepting your offer into one of the best philosophy programs in the nation, you anticipated your time at university, daydreaming about all of the things you would study and all of the people you would meet there.

But never could you have anticipated someone like Wanda Maximoff.

You had met her during one of your introductory courses in your first semester. Wanda was the type of person that, upon first glance, you would be scared. Not just because she was undeniably pretty, but she also had this stone cold exterior to her. Her lips were permanently etched into a slight frown, and she never really showed too much expression while she spoke during class. To put it simply, she intimidated you; so, you settled on admiring the brunette from afar (two seats up, one to the left — if you were to be specific).

Your plans changed, however, after the two of you got assigned to be partners for a class project. It was just a presentation, but it required you both to meet outside of class to work on it. You would be a liar if you said your heart didn't skip a beat at the thought of seeing Wanda outside of these four walls of your classroom, even if it was just to work on this assignment.

Seemingly unbothered by it all, she gave you her number for you to set up a date and time to meet. Her messages were all business, but they still made you feel like a dopey teenager every time her name showed up on your screen.

The day quickly came for you both to work on the presentation. Ultimately, you had settled on the two of you meeting in your dorm, which you made sure to deep clean before she came. You were not necessarily messy by any means, but the idea of Wanda, the most daunting person you could imagine, stepping into the safe space of your room made your blood run cold for some reason.

As Wanda knocked on your door, you rushed to open it. The two of you stood face to face for a moment, divided only by the doorframe. She still had her typical frown, but you noticed it shift into the slight uptick of a smirk. After a moment had passed, she finally broke the silence. "Are you gonna let me in, or...?" she asked, teasing you and your awkward nature.

Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment as you stepped aside for her to enter, "Oh, right... Sorry."

You led her to your side of the room, where she stood for a moment analyzing all of your possessions. You felt small as she did so, like a tiny insect under a bright, unsettling microscope.

She suddenly turned to face you, dropping her bag on the floor, "So, are we gonna work on this or not?"

That is how you found yourself on the floor, her laying on her back and you on your stomach. You had your computer in front of you, typing furiously as she provided you the words and ideas. You glanced over at her every now and then, especially if she was being awfully silent.

Most times, she would just be looking up at the ceiling in thought, her brown hair sprawled in random patterns underneath her; however, after a particularly long bought of silence, you looked over at her to find her gaze directly on you. You quickly returned your eyes to the screen of your computer and began typing whatever came to your mind. You hoped she did not notice the blush rise to your face.

She did.

She sighed, turning her body to lay completely facing you. "You're very quiet, you know," she stated, closely observing your reactions highlighted by the light of your screen.

Unsure of how to respond, you simply say, "So I've been told."

"Oh," she exclaimed, her smirk from earlier returns. "She has jokes."

You hum in agreement, "Just a few, unfortunately."

With the project now finished, the two of you abandoned it in favor of simply talking to each other. Never would you have guessed that Wanda could be this... warm. Unlike what you had witnessed in the classroom, she was very friendly and sarcastic in the privacy of your dorm.

You discovered a lot of information about the brunette during this conversation, such as how she loved coffee but only if its iced, how she never loved texting (preferring to call or talk in-person) but will do so if she must, how she immigrated with her twin brother from Sokovia when they were children. As she recounted her memories from Sokovia, you could hear the accent she once had poking through the surface; although, you did not point it out, afraid it was an insecurity of hers. Maybe you would tell her another time how nice it sounded, but for now, you bonded with her about collecting CDs and vinyl records from various artists.

While the two of you casually spoke, all you could think about was her — how pretty she was under the dimmed lighting of your dorm, how every joke she told was the epitome of humor, how much you wanted to stay in this moment with her. She was perfect.

Is this what people were talking about in high school?

As the night came to an inevitable end, you found yourself feeling quite sad, for you no longer had an excuse to hang out with Wanda. Though she had her number, you did not have the confidence to use it and ask if she wanted to meet up again.

You did not have to worry too much about it. As she packed her belongings back into her bag, swinging it over her shoulder, she spoke, "You know, you're pretty cool, Y/N."

You tried to hide the shock caused by her words, "Thank you, I think?"

She chuckled lowly, "My friends are having this thing at my place this weekend, if you wanted to join?"

Your head perked up, eyes blinking rapidly in shock. Unable to deny her offer, you nodded, "Yeah, sure... okay."

“Great,” she replied, walking toward your door. You followed behind her and reached around to open for her. She smiled at the gesture before speaking again, “I’ll text you later with the details and everything. See you in class.”

“Yeah, see you,” you returned. As you closed door behind her, you feel your mind finally catch up to reality: you, the stereotype of a nerd with very few friends, are going to hang out with Wanda and her friends.

You close your eyes, leaning your head onto the back of the door. “Oh, shit,” you whisper aloud into the open air. What have you just gotten yourself into?

Decoding your own thoughts and feelings about the Sokovian in the days leading up to your next class had revealed just how infatuated you had become; yet, you didn't even know how to act upon them. For years, you had only observed romantic behaviors from the outside looking in, whether it be through your friends' dating experiences or the words on a page from whichever sapphic novel you had picked to read. Now that you finally found yourself in the loop, what were you supposed to do?

Should you message her about whatever? No, that would come across as needy and overbearing.

What if you found her after class and ask to hang out again? No, that's even more overbearing than the text message.

The internal war waged on, resulting in your mind and body being paralyzed out of anxiety. For now, you have settled on simply waiting for her message regarding this weekend and presenting your assignment with her this week during class.

Days later, you walked into the class, practically shaking from your nerves about the presentation and the girl that you had to present with (who had just so happened to become your first teenage crush over the span of weeks).

You sat down in your unofficially assigned seat. Being so focused on the way your leg bounced repeatedly, you failed to notice the familiar brunette enter the classroom. Instead of sitting in her typical seat, however, she dropped her bag on the floor by the seat directly next to you.

Wanda instantly noted your nervous demeanor. While she had her own anxieties regarding the presentation and such, hers remained within her mind. She never showed such things outwardly, unless she was with someone with who she felt undeniably comfortable expressing those thoughts.

She slid into the seat and reached over to place her hand on your bouncing leg. Immediately, you noticed the feeling of someone's hand, breaking the chain of your anxious thoughts; upon glancing to your side, you discovered the culprit: Wanda.

"Hey," she started. "Everything is going to be fine, I promise."

Unable to find the words currently, you opted to remain silent, but you provide her with a uncertain nod in return. With a squeeze of her hand as a final attempt at reassurance, she placed her hand back within her lap and waited for the class to begin.

As always, Wanda was right. Your presentation went well; there were a few instances of stumbling words on your part, but otherwise it went great.

When the two of you returned to your seats, she leaned over and muttered under her breath for you to hear, "Told you so."

As you began to do your typical nighttime routine that evening, you heard your phone go off. Unsuspecting to who it was, you tapped on the screen under the assumption that it was just another email added to your overflowing inbox. You were wrong yet again.

Wanda: hey y/n !! are you still able to make it to the thing this weekend?? its gonna be on saturday at my place... lmk !!

You stared at the message for a moment before confirming you would still be in attendance, of course. Was it normal for your heart rate to speed up this much from mere words on a screen?

Saturday night rolled around quicker than you had anticipated. It was almost time to leave, yet you were currently standing still in your pajamas, surrounded by the miscellaneous clothing items you had thrown around. Ultimately, you had settled on the outfit you had first chosen, resulting in a bunch of unnecessary cleaning afterwards.

When you arrived to her place, you promptly knocked on the door. A moment passed before the door creaked open to reveal the Sokovian. Her outfit was considerably more casual than others you had seen her wear around campus. She stood in front of you, adorned with an oversized band tee and jeans; her fingers were still littered with her usual assortment of rings. However, the thing that surprised you the most was her lack of makeup. Not that she needed it, of course; in fact, it was quite the opposite. Tonight she seemed to have abandoned her typical heavy eyeliner and rose-colored shade of lipstick, choosing to only use her mascara and some chapstick.

"Sorry for the jumpscare," Wanda joked, her nose scrunched in amusement from your reaction. She continued to explain, "I know I'm dressed down compared to class. I just don't like putting in the effort to get ready sometimes, especially to just hang out with friends."

"No!" you exclaimed, quickly trying to backtrack the way she took your shocked expression. "No, you're fine. You're beautiful, actually, I just- I was just surprised to see you without the eyeliner and all."

Her cheeks became flushed at the compliment, but you seemed to miss it being overly concerned with your own response. She chuckled at your awkwardness, "Thanks. Oh, you can come in, by the way. I think everyone is here now."

She introduced you to each friend, after which you gave an insecure wave in return.

As the night progressed, you gradually loosened up. Whether it was time or the alcohol in your bloodstream, it frankly did not matter to you. You were not drunk by any means but definitely buzzed enough to not worry about every single decision you made. You even talked to one of Wanda's friends, Natasha, for awhile without the Sokovian present (given that she had left to use the restroom, but it still counts in your mind).

Suddenly, you were sat on the floor, playing childish party games with the others. It was fun, you couldn't lie... until it wasn't. You had already survived Truth or Dare, but someone (Tony) had suggested Spin the Bottle. With no romantic history, it was practically a given that you subsequently had not kissed anyone yet. For your first kiss to be during a stupid game of Spin the Bottle would be depressing; but, you didn't want to be the loser who said no to playing because the reason would be too humiliating to explain.

So, you elected to power through the hesitation, hoping the bottle just would not land on you.

At first, you were confident. The game was now three rounds in, and you remained lucky.

Eventually, the group had noted your lack of participation and had chosen to give you a "free spin." You silently prayed it would at least land on someone with whom you had become somewhat acquainted. With a shaky hand, you reached forward, spinning the emptied beer bottle. In the moment, it felt like the bottle would never stop spinning, but, once it did, it felt like time froze altogether.

It landed on Wanda.

Though you liked the brunette, you truly did not want your first kiss to be this way, especially with her.

She instantly noticed your apprehension. Turning to where Tony sat in the circle, she offered, "Hey, what if we did a hybrid of this and Seven Minutes in Heaven?"

Your eyes widened at the question, feeling unsure about all of this.

With a smirk on his face, Tony agreed, "I like the way you think, Maximoff. Alright, new girl, go follow Maximoff, and don't have too much fun while you're gone."

Before walking off with Wanda to the nearest bathroom, she briefly turned around to aim her middle finger at the boy. Though you were extremely overcome with anxiety about what was about to occur in the bathroom, you released a chuckle at her response.

She pulled you into the bathroom, flipping the lights on. As the door clicked shut, you faced her with your back against the wall.

"So, um, what are we supposed to do?" you asked.

"We don't have to do anything, Y/N," she replied, leaning against the bathroom counter. "I just noticed you weren't very comfortable with the idea of kissing me out there, so I improvised a little bit."

"Oh, okay," you breathed out. "Just for the record, it was not the idea of kissing you that made me uncomfortable. You- You're cool, so, it's fine."

Wanda tilted her head in curiosity, clearly not expecting that response. "Oh?" she questioned. "What was it then? Because I could clearly tell you were not very comfortable in there... I mean, you were visibly stiff."

"It's not you, I just..." you looked away, unable to meet her gaze.

"'It's not you, it's me'?" she joked, narrowing her eyes.

"Yes! No! I mean..." you exhaled. "It's not that the idea of kissing you makes me uncomfortable because, believe me, it very much doesn't. I just- I've never done this before."

The blood rushed to your cheeks during your admission. You felt utterly embarrassed, wishing you could just be back in your dorm in this moment.

"Y/N," she called softly. Despite every ounce of your body screaming at you to not do so, you returned your gaze to the Sokovian. "Do you want to kiss me?"

You couldn't read her tone. A part of you was nervous, maybe this was all some sick joke between her and her friends; yet, the other part of you was thrilled by the proposition alone.

"I wouldn't oppose," you muttered, automatically employing humor as your defense mechanism.

Wanda rolled her eyes at your antics, "Ok, then, let's play a new game." She looked down at her phone, checking the time. "We have less than four minutes in here."

Confused by the sudden change, you acquiesced in her request, "Okay?"

She stepped closer to you, standing a foot away.

Her tongue escaped her mouth, briefly licking her lips, before she proposed, "Are you going to marry, kiss, or kill me?"

Your eyes widened at the unexpected question, but you attempted to recover in order to return her playful energy, "Can I choose all three?"

Her eyebrow had risen, the infamous smirk forming on her lips. Slowly, she inched closer and closer to you until you could feel her breath on your skin. One hand found refuge on your hip, while the other she brought to the side of your face. She used her fingers to tuck a few loose strands of hair behind your ear then cradled your face. You licked your own lips and closed your eyes in anticipation.

Then, you felt it. Her lips brushed against yours, softly and slowly as if she were testing the waters. It was only a peck, but you swear your heart burst from the experience.

A moment passed before she pulled away enough for her to speak.

"Was that okay?" she inquired, ensuring you were still interested in this.

"More than," you affirmed.

She smiled, "Good, because we still have a few minutes left, and I intend to use them."

Without another second, she connected your lips once again. This time was different, however; there was a newfound fervor behind it. Her kisses started slow like the initial pace, gradually becoming quicker and deeper. Uncertain about what to exactly do, you continue to follow her lead. You felt her slide her tongue across your lips, asking for entrance. How could you ever deny her that? As her tongue began to clumsily caress with yours, a familiar feeling settled in the pit of your stomach, but you ignored it and kept kissing her.

A knock at the door pulled you both back into reality.

"Time's up, lovebirds," the voice called. "Clothes better be on and straightened when you leave."

Wanda chuckled at her friend's words and bit her lip. For the first time, you think you see her outwardly nervous. She swallowed as she shifted her gaze from your lips to meet your eyes, "Hey, I um- I hope this wasn't a one time thing."

You sighed in relief, "With you? Never."

She leaned forward once more, placing a final peck on your lips before grabbing your hand to return to the circle. Instead of your prior placements on the floor, in which she sat on the other end, Wanda refused to let go of your hand, instead pulling you to where she had been sitting.

Thankfully, no one mentioned how your cheeks were now incredibly plagued with a pink hue, allowing the game to continue onward.

After the group decided to finish playing games and turn on a movie, you followed Wanda to the couch in order to sit next to her. As soon as you found your place at the end of the sofa, she gravitated closer, leaning into your side. Her head rested on your shoulder as if you both had been close for years.

The movie American Pie started playing, all of her friends too engrossed in it to note how the two of you were cuddled up together. She picked her head up from its place on your shoulder. You didn't think too much of it, imagining her neck must have simply gotten uncomfortable in that position.

However, she turned her head to face you, taking in the sight of you and her friends all hanging out and watching a movie. Unable to resist herself any longer, she leaned in closer, her breath hitting your ear as she whispered to you, "I can't focus on the movie. All I can think about is kissing you right now."

You rotated your head to face her, biting your lip at her words. "Shush, your friends are here," you quietly argued, but you were secretly enjoying her antics. You peered over her shoulder, observing her friends who sat quietly with their attentions fully focused on the film.

Wanda pressed a soft kiss to the base of your neck prior to returning to its original position on your shoulder. You sighed at the feeling of her affection, wondering if it would linger forever.

Soon enough, the movie ended, and it was time to go home for the night. Her friends had left moments ago, but not without saying how you should "come around more often." Honestly, you were deeply excited that you received their approval, especially after the recent developments with Wanda.

You stayed behind for a little, attempting to garner as much alone time with Wanda as you could without being interrupted.

With the others now gone, you allowed Wanda to be more affectionate; or rather, you allowed her to give in to her desires and kiss you again, and again, and again.

After the final peck, you pulled away with the cheesiest smile and swollen lips. She loved seeing you this way: giddy and carefree.

"I really like you, Wanda," you proclaimed with a sigh, effectively breaking the comfortable silence between the two of you. "Like, a lot."

"I really like you, too," she replied. "You know, in case it got lost in translation with the kissing and everything."

You playfully slapped the side of her arm. "I'm serious," you started. "You make me feel so... high school."

She raised her brow, gesturing for you to continue.

You resumed, "I never felt like this, especially during high school. For a while, I actually thought something was wrong with me." Her lips formed a slight pout at your past conflict. "I was always so... jealous of others my age, having all of these teenage experiences with crushes and romance. Since I never did, I just assumed that it was my fault, that something was wrong with me. It was isolating; it felt like some inside joke that everyone else knew about except me. But, I'm happy I waited, truthfully, because now I can experience all of those high school feelings with you."

End.

#limarieb #wanda maximoff #elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #marvel imagines #limarieb wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fluff

891 notes · View notes

avonne-writes · 3 months

Note

hm I think its very interesting that although u think buck bottoms more, they're still willing to switch (I really agree with this take and I actually think it makes the most sense). how do u think sex changes when who tops/bottoms changes and why do u think they each prefer both (basically what im saying is what is it about bottoming and topping that's each of their favourite parts)!

It's always interesting to talk about these intimacy headcanons! These can differ vastly based on how you interpret the characters, but this is my take on it.

Headcanons under the cut:

In general, how sex changes for them

If Bucky bottoms, it's rougher, which is what he wants. He knows he shouldn't be rough the other way around.

On normal days, regardless of who tops or bottoms, Gale helps calm Bucky's excitable energy. He's more in control of the situation.

On Gale's vulnerable days, he’s going to bottom and will put everything into Bucky's hands.

Buck's personal preferences

When he bottoms, it feels like an affirmation of trust to him, and it's something he likes to give to Bucky.

As a bottom, he likes not having to wonder if it's good enough because it's obvious from how hard Bucky is.

He likes the weight of Bucky's body on him, of Bucky manhandling him and holding him in the position they want. It makes him feel so safe and loved. Usually, he's still calling the shots but if he’s having one of those submissive nights all of this is amplified. (you will see in detail in the subspace fic)

This isn’t something conscious but he also just enjoys being given things, and yes, that includes a certain part of Bucky's body.

Finally, just something as simple as the physical sensation - he just loves that kind of deep, slowly building pleasure you get from prostate stimulation more than the faster but shallower sensation of topping.

Topping is nice too, and he especially likes how he can basically fuck the restlessness out of Bucky if he does it well.

That said, he’s flexible about top-bottom roles and quite inflexible about submission and dominance. He’ll keep the reins in his hands for the most part on normal days and submit completely on difficult days. By this I mean on normal days, he doesn’t mind or even likes that Bucky doesn’t submit to him and there's always this playful push back, but he won't relinquish the final say. He'll keep the control. But on submissive days, he doesn’t make any decisions and can’t be provoked to take back control. He'd just end the encounter if Bucky tried.

Obviously, his submission is a bit of a whiplash at first but it all starts to make sense to Bucky when he realizes it comes from a combination of deep trust + emotional distress + inability to articulate a need for comfort + inability to accept comfort unless he’s made to take it.

Bucky's personal preferences

It's likely that the only person he has ever bottomed for is Gale. Even if he had other sexual contact with men before, he’s too big and doesn’t have the personality to draw attention from tops. He was a womanizer too, so being on the receiving end is something way less familiar to him.

He loves bottoming the most when it hurts just right. He has masochistic tendencies so the pain of that stretch makes him rock hard. He always tries to goad or urge Gale into putting it in after only the slightest prep.

He also likes play-fighting and wrestling, and if Gale tops, he’ll constantly try to move and squirm and buck against him just to make Gale put him harder in his place. (He's a brat)

He prefers topping because of 1) the visuals(!!), 2) the sensations - yes, he prefers something tight squeezing around him to something hard pushing into him, 3) he loves giving things, including that certain body part 😉, 4) he loves the idea that he’s of service as a man.

He likes putting his entire body weight on Gale even in a non-sexual way, but even more so when they're making love. He had to be more careful with the women he slept with, but not with Gale.

Gale's submissive nights are a challenge to him but they’re also the most rewarding.

These are the headcanons that came to my mind at the moment but I feel like there are more things that can be said about this. What do you guys think?

#mota #buck x bucky #john egan #gale cleven #anon #bedroom headcanons

79 notes · View notes

spideyhexx · 5 months

Note

I've been pondering this all day

Snow hates the thought and feeling of vulnerability especially when it comes to love, friendship, and even his family despite the sacrifices made for his wellbeing and advancement. Excuse the run on sentences

This leaves him the inability to have a normal relationship especially romance and family. Not to mention his entitlement, sense of pride, classism, and overall Capitol mindset as a whole. This is why he "loves" as well as hate DC!reader she doesn't have the those same vulnerabilities that stun her perception and growth. She can see Snow for who and what is Snow and most likely who he'll becom. Not to mention Capitol assumptions that most has about Snow. One would expect it was easier for Snow to manipulate her. Seeing that she's district and at a social disadvantage. She's more than likely will always been seen as district. Just like in my like post/ask just because you got money doesn't mean you'll be readily accepted in the Capitol. Most of this classmates probably lived on the lima bean diet while the Civil War was going on. Yet they still look down upon the districts as if their lives weren't almost the same up till that point. In fact most if not all see this act as terrorism, anarchy, and a direct insult to the Capitol. Like they take offense to the uprising like someone mistreated them rather than the other way around. This speaks volumes to their entitlement as well as nativity. Like of course they don't see the districts as people with rights. I bet that seeing reader and Sejanus prancing around the Capitol just like them irks some nerves. Especially with the older generation because Tigris and Snow were kids during the Dark Days. All this and more plays into the development of Snow's mind and psyche. Don't get me started on Grandma'am and her influence. There's no doubt in my mind that she fed into Snow becoming who he is.

Especially with his early years during the first rebellion. I believe she think Coriolanus could do not wrong and that DC! reader should be more than happy that he's interested in her. Like the only one who doesn't think like this is Tigris

Sorry this turned into less about Coriolanus.

Ps. There is more. I just had to get this out before I forget it. Lucy Gray is up next. All this plays into everything.

Just to add on to last thing. The Capitol is not the Capitol because of money. The money comes to them because of their power in mistreating, degrading the districts. Another thing is I believe the Capitol mindset as a whole has blinded most of the occupants especially Snow. If he realizes that as a person you need more than money and status to make a relationship work then he may or may not do the work to actually improve himself not to just get reader. Like this guy is so cut off from any sense of emotional intelligence.

Am gonna assume this was you <3

Vulnerability is the worst thing for Coriolanus. If it seeps through and someone sees it, he'd probably have a meltdown. I agree with all you said!!! I think his "love" for you is also somewhat of an admiration in the sense that he wishes he observed life the way he sees you do so. And the mere fact that you're able to get under his skin and come to realize his true intentions or his innermost understandings of the world at play, it's frightening to him.

It gives you this unspoken power over him. And yes, your other classmates and even their parents would be looking down upon you as you make your stance in the Capitol, but something that Coriolanus would be attracted to is your determination and defiance against this. You kept trying despite this and he has that same tenacity, so it makes sense he'd commend you for it (while still thinking less of you). It's like he considers himself different from his classmates and their elite parents because he at least acknowledges the fact you have skill and intelligence, but he's not really different at all as he still thinks less of you.

Oh yes. Sejanus and you would be rather carefree. I think he's more likely to be conscious of stares and gossip about the two of you, but your own determination overrides it and you two try to just enjoy your relationship no matter what anyone says or thinks.

Grandma'am of course had a part in Coriolanus' views. She'd be coddling him about his expressed sadness that you won't let him into your life and she would go on about how you should be lucky he's even looking in your direction.

Everything you said about the Capitol is very true. I don't have much to add to that, but it does deeply influence Coriolanus and I think he has a twisted sense of emotional intelligence which just contributes to him being contradictory to himself all the time.

let's chat here :)

#coryoasks #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #tom blyth fanfiction #tom blyth #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow fanfiction #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus x you #coryo snow #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus x y/n #coriolanus smut

66 notes · View notes

erinelliotc · 1 month

Text

Talking about "Ed, Edd n Eddy" outside of Tumblr with (probably) heterosexual cisgender neurotypical men is just... frustrating. I feel like I'm talking to a door. The guy got mad just for stating the simple fact that what the Kankers do to the Eds is sexual harassment. I mean, how can anyone deny that? I thought it was, like, obvious to everyone lol. I made it very clear that it's my favorite cartoon and that admitting that what the Kankers do is sexual harassment doesn't mean it's bad or that it should've been canceled, and the guy just said he wouldn't read my text. It's ridiculous.

People outside of Tumblr are so lazy and this scares and saddens me because I love writing and I can hardly summarize my thoughts. I mean, it's okay if you don't want to read it, but then at least keep quiet and don't give your opinion on something you don't know about or assume what the other person said. People simply leave discussions with a simple "I won't read it" and feel victorious for it, even if the person in question is agreeing with them, agreeing more than disagreeing, or only partially disagreeing. They treat "writing too much" as having already lost the argument itself and that doesn't make any sense. The worst part for me is that being lazy to read and having the inability to formulate a counterargument has already been widely normalized on the internet as winning an argument, and it totally pisses me off.

Why are people so lazy to... think, discuss and reflect? To use their fucking brains!? They just want to attack people for no reason and be right at all costs! They act stupid and others agree with them! Ugh, I should just stay on Tumblr. I've already accepted that this is the only nice and safe (or at least the nicest and safest) place for neurodivergent / autistic people.

Anyway, about what happened:

It was in this Instagram post:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Millennial & 90's Content (@paraeden90s)

instagram

Comments started here:

I replied emir.d95 with this text:

I mean, it is sexual harassment. Admitting this isn't the same as saying that the cartoon is bad or that it should've been canceled (far from it, it's literally my favorite cartoon of all time), it's just stating a fact. It's like denying that Ed has an intellectual disability and is bullied because of it, or that Kevin is a bully (at least in the initial seasons), these are things that aren't explicitly said in the show, but are obvious and don't make it bad (furthermore, it was the 90s/2000s, it was a cartoon within what was considered normal for the time). Problematic things and complications happen, they are part of life, showing them in a cartoon isn't the same as agreeing with them. It was very clear that the Kankers were a bother to everyone and nobody liked them. Danny Antonucci said the Kankers were based on a group of girls he knew during his 7th grade school year. In his words "they're based on a pair of Grade 7 girls who true to form were always on the lookout for potential boyfriends. They frightened us with their intensity and attitude yet they always wanted to play the innocent with the older guys whom they wanted to date". They were based on real girls who were actually scary, cynical and a nuisance to Danny and others. The Kankers are supposed to be creepy, problematic, a pain in the ass, and disgusting. One of the biggest features of this show is the gross things, disgusting the viewers, and the Kankers and them abusing the Eds and sometimes others is one of those gross things. And before anyone says something like "It's just a cartoon, it's not that deep bro", we're talking about "Ed, Edd n Eddy", a show that literally addresses domestic violence, shows the main character's redemption arc and how his brother's abuse influenced him to act the way he did, and consequently teaches about friendship, forgiveness and acceptance. It's not just a silly cartoon, it also touches on serious subjects when necessary, sometimes in a more shallow, light and humorous way, or in a more explicit and profound way, like in the movie. The Kankers are abusers, just like Eddy's brother, and his punishment in the end is precisely being abused by them. Like it or not, "Ed, Edd n Eddy" teaches us, even if unconsciously and subtly, that girls can also be abusers and boys can be victims of sexual abuse. It's a great show for a laugh, but also for learning some valuable lessons every now and then. The movie was supposed to have even more serious and touching scenes, but unfortunately they didn't fit into the available time and budget.

Then I got these:

So, yeah... The lesson is: Don't expect a healthy in-depth dialogue about "Ed, Edd n Eddy" with people outside of Tumblr xD

#ed edd n eddy #ededdneddy #ed edd and eddy #eene #eene kankers #kanker sisters #Instagram #danny antonucci #eene crew

23 notes · View notes

balladingbard · 1 year

Text

Hermes and the Importance of Being Yourself

We’ve used a lot of words to describe Hermes.

Depressed. Isolated. Selfish. Hurting. Perhaps even cruel or cold. There’s a lot to say about the Ancient that became the rock thrown that started the Final Days, but amongst the many lessons we can glean from his story, I haven’t seen too much being said on a trait that seemed to be one of his biggest challenges: an inability to accept himself.

We see this trait on display both in game and in the Lodestone side story, “A Question of Life”. Hermes is an overseer who seems closer to his creations than coworkers, a man who even Emet-Selch says, “doesn’t belong here.” He’s a bit of an outcast, seeing the ugly truth of reality, but attempting to fix it by searching the stars.

In the side story, Hermes reaches out to peers while in Elpis to see if anyone else understands what he’s feeling. He’s met with false hopes and sympathy rather than empathy, and by the time he reaches Amaurot to take Fandaniel’s seat, he buries his true self, along with his questions and struggles, just so he can fit in with society and benefit the Star. “Tell them what they want to hear”, he says as his concerns fall on misunderstanding ears.

It’s a burden that weighs him down to the point of despair. “Am I the aberration?” he asks the Warrior of Light. To feel so different…so odd…so alien from everyone else? Hermes longs for change, yes, but deep down, he also just wants to feel…normal. Happy. At peace. And if he can’t find that at home, perhaps it’s in the stars. Perhaps the despair that plagues him on Etheirys will be relieved somewhere else in the Universe.

As we learn in Endwalker, the answer that Hermes was looking for had been in front of him the entire time. But I think the happiness Hermes was searching for could be found in more than just simple joys and finding friends. He also needed to be content with himself - who he was, different from society or no.

In an interview after Endwalker’s release, Yoshi P mentioned how Hermes’ tale would’ve been quite different had he been able to join Azem on their adventures in the Ancient world. But I think it’s more than just seeing the impact of helping others - had Hermes been able to be friends with Azem, he would’ve learned that it was okay to be different. That he wasn’t the only Ancient who saw problems in the world and wanted to fix them. That yes, sometimes being different doesn’t always make you fit in, but it can make you stand out, to be a voice for the voiceless and to show truth to a world living a lie.

Hermes wasn’t the only Ancient who marched to the beat of their own drum. Azem marched loud and clear, usually to the annoyance of others (cough cough looking at you, Lahabread), but also to the thankfulness of the countless lives they impacted for the better. But the difference between Azem and Hermes was that Azem believed in themselves - accepted that they were different and celebrated it. Hermes didn’t. Instead, he bemoaned the state of the world that wouldn’t conform to his ideals, trying to change it through outside forces. And, after arriving in Amaurot, he conformed to their ideals instead, imprinting misery so deeply into his soul that when he was reborn, he became twisted and crueler than his peers ever were.

It’s a tragic end for a man who held so much promise, but like any story, it’s a good lesson for us all. As we head into 2023, I encourage you - love yourself. Be kind to the gentle soul that you are. And even if you feel a little odd or different, just know that you’re not alone. There’s other “Azems” out there who may feel just like you. And who knows? Like Hermes, you may cross paths with that Azem one day and find a kindred spirit.

Just…er…don’t release any sad blue birds bent on destroying the universe to get their attention. ;)

Happy New Year, everyone! May your 2023 be as amazing as you.

#ffxiv #endwalker spoilers #final fantasy xiv #endwalker #Hermes #fandaniel #meteion #elpis #ffxiv ancients #amaurot #ffxiv spoilers #ffxiv lore

100 notes · View notes

zaceouiswriting · 2 years

Text

A good neighbor

Character: Dick Grayson x male reader

Universe: Somewhere in Dc

Warnings: None

A soft smile occurred on your face. Your lower lip, slightly between your teeth. But you did not bite on it, more like a chewing motion, as you stared at the muscular arm in front of you moving.

You had no idea, what came over you, an hour ago, as you knocked on your neighbor's door. Thankfully he was home, not in his normal police uniform sadly enough, but instead in short grey joggers and a tight shirt, completely drenched in his own sweat.

For a moment you had lost your head as you saw him, just staring at him as a creep would do. He did not seem to care for your thoughtlessness. Instead, he asked you to come in, which you more than gladly accepted.

„What can I do for you?“, he asked with this award-winning smile of his, showing off his perfect teeth. You involuntary gulped seeing it. Not prepared at all.

Your sister had canceled on you last minute as she normally does. But you had bought all ingredients to cook one of your favorite meals. With all the things you had bought, you stood in your neighbor's apartment now. Not entirely sure how to approach it, without sounding incompetent.

„What is in the bags?“, he asked before even getting an answer to his first question. Without any time wasted, he got the bags out of your hand and put them on his table. „Oh great, I can cook for both of us. You know I had no time to buy groceries today. Is this alright with you?“

With no idea what was happening, you could only nod your head. It was as if he could read your mind or some crazy shit like that. He just smiled even wider, getting all the things in his kitchen.

He made you sit right at his counter on a barstool. Letting you stare as much as you wanted, as he almost with the precision of a surgeon, cut the vegetables, all the while making sure to flex his arm muscles.

For a short moment, you had thought that he does this only for you. And maybe he does it only for you, but it had something normal to him as if he does this often. Which opened a pitch black hole inside of you. You did not want to know how many other people had the chance to see him like that.

Eyebrows pulled together in concentration, the cute little twitch of his right eye when he concentrated too strongly, and of course, the sticking out of his tongue when he tried to not chop off his fingers. Most of the time he was too fast for your eyes, but apparently not for his own.

All the while, soft rock music could be heard in the background. Most likely from the place, where Dick had trained.

„You know,“ he started talking again, ripping you out of the steamy fantasies you had developed with him in your head, cocking up your head, looking directly into his dark blue eyes, „Next time you maybe should not talk with your sister on your phone, while in the bedroom.“

„What?“

„I heard your conversation with your sister. Even the part with you know… not knowing how to cook. After I would have been finished my training, I wanted to come over, to ask if you wanted to go out to eat or something.“

Completely embarrassed you looked down, ashamed of your inability to cook even if your life would depend on it.

„Don’t worry, this is even better. I haven’t had anyone over in three years? I think it is almost three years now. I almost always work and after it, I’m too exhausted to do anything. But I love cooking. So if you buy the groceries, I will cook them okay?“

For a moment, confusing thoughts ran up your brain into overdrive. Trying to figure out of he was serious or not, you looked up again. But the man was too preoccupied with making the meal again.

„But you said you would be too exhausted after your work?“

He broke out of his concentration, just to show another smile, which slowly grew into a one-sided smirk. „To cook for a handsome man like you? For that I’m never too exhausted,“ he told you with an obvious afterthought, which you did not get until he spoke further, „And I’m sure, you would find a way to pay me back.“

His one-sided smirk grew into a full one as he looked shortly up at you just to wink once. Immediately he looked back down, working further on the meal in front of him.

A flaming blush could be seen on your face as you slowly came after the words Dick had said to you. „Fuck,“ you mumbled under your breath, as you finally realized that he was flirting with you.

„That would be a way, but let us wait until we have eaten.“

You were a wreck for the entire time, you never would’ve thought that a guy like Dick would like other guys, but you loved the attention he gave you. So you had nothing to complain about.

[Masterlist]

#Dick Grayson #Dick Grayson x male reader #Dick Grayson imagine #dc x male reader #dc imagine #Dc #x male reader #male reader #male reader imagine #x male reader imagine

160 notes · View notes

mmaxie-musings · 3 months

Note

Actually, Dhelmise don’t perform mitosis— given that they are multicellular by virtue of being macroalgae— but instead undergo a similar process called fragmentation, like everyday seaweed. However, this only seems to occur in the event that one or more of the upper blades, or “leaves”, is detached, along with a portion of the holdfast; without both, a new individual can’t form. Even if both parts are present, it seems that most of the time a new one won’t actually develop, and instead the result is just seaweed that is indistinguishable from others of the same variety save for the inability to reproduce sexually via spores. For a time it was theorized Dhelmise could reproduce sexually via spores, explaining their genetic diversity, but this hasn’t been observed, nor has a Dhelmise with sporophylls ever been documented. It’s believed this is a side effect of the transformation from normal seaweed/kelp to Dhelmise, and why kelp grown from one remains infertile.

On that note, I didn’t get into the hardly understood development of new Dhelmise, which hasn’t been conclusively documented, but is described in the folklore of many seafaring peoples as the consistent idea of souls possessing or merging with seaweed, or the seaweed itself gaining/having a soul and achieving sentience. It’s generally accepted that it’s a similar process to the one that creates Bramblin on land, but research into the formation of either is rather difficult on account of the very specific circumstances required, and the fact that you can’t (ethically) recreate them in an observable setting. Doing so would probably be described as performing a funny little thing called “murder” and wouldn’t be a very popular or kind decision.

Big fan of Dhelmise, honestly, they’re unusual and often misunderstood fellas and a lot less scary than TV makes them out to be most of the time. I’ve been trying to learn as much about them as possible, and even just going down the poképedia rabbithole is a great way to spend several hours if you have nothing better to do… Signed, random trainer who’s starter was a Dhelmise due to unusual circumstances involving pokébeans and not knowing what to do when Large Hecking Thing decided to leave the water and simply didn’t stay put after I enacted the Back Away Slowly protocol.

P.S.: the Steelworker ability doesn’t have much of anything to do with ions, they’re just good at utilizing metal due to their species-wide preference for that particular kind of material. Sorta like that bird Pokémon that loves dropping rocks enough to be proficient in battle with them… Bomberdier? Bombirdier? Something like that. If they weren’t such incompatible types and also inhabitants of entirely different ecosystems I bet they’d understand each other. Oh to be a weird thing that will look at a hard object and go “yea I think I’ll specialize in beating things with this”….. Instead I had to be born a human and I gotta do things like “get a job” and “stop befriending weird beasts” and “get a hobby that doesn’t center around one or two extremely specific or niche topics”. Maybe I wanna start throwing rocks at people or beating them with random junk I found in the ocean, why can’t those be valid career paths huh

anon I love you.

firstly, THANK you for correcting me. I couldn’t remember the word for fragmentation so I just said Fucked Up Mitosis.

the ions thing may have been a certain thing? they were connected to klefki in that manner (they absorb ions of the keys they steal) but yes, dhelmises do decide to take things from the sea and beat things with it. it SHOULD be a career.

i, surprisingly know a dhelmise! he’s not caught, but just a lot of Afterlife Fuckery. his name is sev and he’s like a fresh-our-of-jail uncle to my fatherless boyfriend. it’s great. he likes sinking ships and he has a husband.

it’s funny because ghost types have varying levels of retaining “souls??” it’s very interesting. rotomblr also happens to have a lot of cross-universe fuckery. and sapient pokemon. there are a lot of those

anyways, very correct about dhelmises being victim to misconceptions. much like mimikyu there are nasty rumors of “they kill you and hate people and kill and kill and evil and violent” they just are very territorial and Don’t Like It when your big ass boat fucks up where they live. they don’t even hurt humans (on purpose. but it’s kind of your fault if you get in the way of 14 foot anchor creature)

anyways again anon ilysm for this. if only i could have a dhelmise. and as a STARTER no less? oh my arc that’s amazing. pokemon behavior is pretty connected to their nature and I think you just were Taken by a friendly one. big ghost anchors need friends too.

this ask made my day. AUG

#pkmn irl #pokeblogging #pokemon irl #rotomblr #rotumblr #ask #// ANON IF THIS GUY HAS A ROTOMBLR ACCOUNT ANS THEY REBLOG YJIS MAXIE IS FRIENDS WITH THEM #// NO ESCAPE. TAKING DHELMISE TRAINER #dhelmise

5 notes · View notes

fqirycollective · 1 year

Text

The Link Between ADHD and DID - A Theory!

Disclaimer

This is a personal theory that I created. This is based off my personal research and thoughts, and shouldn’t be treated as 100% fact. I’m not a professional, and these are just my own conclusions being drawn to make an overall observation. This being said, I have the theory that it’s a similar principle with autism as it is with ADHD and why so many systems are/have one or both, but I don’t have enough proper research on autism to say for sure. Please keep all of this in mind while reading!

First, how do systems form?

The current theory is the Theory of Structural Dissociation. In a simplified version, this theory says that all children are born with multiple ego states. As we grow up, these ego states integrate into one identity and personality. However, if severe and repetitive trauma occurs before they integrate (it happens all throughout childhood but “finishes” at around 7-9), the brain may start to rely on dissociation and dissociative barriers between ego states. This happens so one of the ego states can continue life as normal, despite the trauma and another can hold the traumatic memories and responses to keep the other from needing to deal with them. Those ego states then develop into their own personalities and identities. Disorganized attachment also plays a role, where the child has conflicting feelings about their caregiver where they both love and are afraid of them due to inconsistent patterns. Not all systems form from abuse, but 90% of systems do because of the disorganized attachment and how a lot of forms of abuse are normalized to where the caregiver may not respond adequately to the child’s needs. It’s important to remember that dissociation is a last resort and traumatic experiences once or twice won’t cause a system.

Does this mean there was nothing else to cope with?

This is a debated topic, from what I’ve seen? Not 100% sure about that, but there seem to be two iffy sides. However, you can have friends, teachers you trust, hobbies, etc. and still be a system. Just because you have things that are able to be used as a coping mechanism, doesn’t necessarily mean that the child knew to use it as such, especially if trauma happened early enough that you picked them up after dissociation became the primary coping mechanism. As for the friends and adults the child trusts? That would almost always require telling them about the trauma, which would mean the child would have to accept that the trauma was happening on some level which goes against what the disorder is about.

How does this relate to ADHD?

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is the first thing that came to mind. Other disorders can experience rejection sensitivity, but the dysphoria part comes from there not really being a trigger to the intense emotions (which is why the term RSD is ADHD-specific and others should use rejection sensitivity or RS for short!) and it’s instead from the learned behavior of rejection from peers, even without interaction whereas in other disorders, there is usually some type of interaction. With RSD, it’s extremely difficult to identify and regulate the intense reactions to perceived rejection. Abuse and disorganized attachment is based on rejection by others, especially since systems are often taught that abuse can co-exist with love. Struggling to cope with those emotions can lead to an increased chance of dissociation. One study found that 80% of children with ADHD are in the bullied and rejected classifications.

My Conclusions

Essentially, I have the theory that such intense emotions may lead it to be more likely for a child to dissociate due to the inability to regulate and therefore are overwhelmed by emotions easier. Beyond this, the high levels of rejection among children with ADHD makes it harder for them to make friends. I have personally even been rejected by teachers and other adults without them causing any type of trauma. This, paired with the fact that the child would have to accept the trauma to tell anyone, and that it’s frequent that the trauma starts before the possibility to gain hobbies to cope with, could make it likelier that the child dissociates instead of using other coping mechanisms. My theory is that so many systems have ADHD because of the likelihood they probably have to rely on dissociation more than other coping mechanisms that may help in the face of trauma.

#did #did system #osdd #osdd system #system #adhd #rsd #rsd things

31 notes · View notes

according2thelore · 2 months

Note

just found your tumblr account and thought id give you the comments i never left on your fics. my top three are: I. “swallow my breath and take whats mine” nothing to say about this one except i live for feral sam, the fear for dean’s death and acceptance of letting himself be cannibalized just because he doesn’t want to lose him and at the end the contempt for john, for how far he’s willing to go just to train dean (his inability to understand that it is NOT normal has a whole other special flavor). it was short, lovely and heartbreaking with a je ne sais quoi in sam’s feelings towards dean. 10/10. II. “and its you that i want” this was more lighthearted, not accounting for the breakup between dean and girl X, the best part was sam needing to be used, his desire to be just a vessel for deans pleasure. also i love EVERYTHING that depicts sam’s discomfort with his size with his need to be smaller. overall the smut is so sexy and intimate and also i love the fact that theyre obsessed with each other even in another universe. i love every smith/wesson fic because i love to imagine their reactions when confronted with what they would do with each other when not being stuck with whatever inhibition theyre battling with. 12/10 just because it has smut. “souls tied intertwined by our pride and guilt” NO. WORDS. it is my most read fic on ao3 in the whole seven years ive used the platform and it was published less than a year ago. i love everything. every word, every emotion. the fic starts with the voyeur moment, dean’s guilt at the idea that it was sam’s worst terror and sam’s fear that he may have revealed too much and everything its now out in the open. “the dark side of the moon” is already a seriously angsty episode by itself, but your spin on it with their guilt, their shame and the continuous misunderstandings is lovely.

dean’s overthinking about when did he become so overwhelming to sam that he was TERRIFIED of his big brother, when did he become something that sam needed to escape from leaving for college? sams line that said he “always lived with it” had dean spiraling with guilt and shame and fear so much that he left and “threw” away the amulet. sam on the other hand is full of shame for his biggest desire is out there, the crippling need to have his brother, so debilitating that he had to escape, not from deans leering as he may think, but from his fucked up needs, his perversion of their relationship, of him feeling like he twisted up something genuine and good so much that his brother is now disgusted with him (i love when one of the two seems “disgusted” leaving the other feeling dirty and a pervert) overall i never found a fic that fit all of my reading needs as well as this one. you took a basic misunderstanding trope and spun it in a whirlwind of suffering, dejections, inhibitions and the best part GUILT AND SHAME.

i have no more words 100/10 i live for it. keep up with your writing because i live for it and eat up every single work you produce.

sorry if some bits are grammatically incorrect english is not my first language.

much love<3

HI ANON!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!

thank you so much for this ask!!!!!! i actually think i have answered this one already, and thank you for being so kind!!!!!!! i want to make sure you can see this so i copy-pasted my answer below, bc i had such a lovely time reading this and responding to it!

anon...oh my god anon...anon...

okay so i'm thinking an autumn wedding? how soon do you think we could book a venue?? i mean, we could always elope.

but seriously, anon--holy shit. this ask made my MONTH. i don't know what i did to deserve such lovely and incredible people on this blog but i am so GRATEFUL!!!

just little responses to the comments:

EEP! thank you! desperately devoted winchesters are delicious! we see series!sam being incredibly unhinged about dean/his safety, so i was interested to explore how a pre-series!sam would navigate a situation like that.

heehee i'm glad this one was good! charlotte beta'd the first half of this fic in public, and it was quite funny to watch her (a lesbian who is also new to A/B/O) give it a read. servicetop sam is something that i love that i also don't see a lot of, so i loved being able to add some in this universe where their power dynamics are slightly shifted (in the corporate ladder sense and also alpha/omega lol). a +2 for the smut!! hell yeah!!! thank you ! :)

okay, small guilty pleasure moment, i LOVE misunderstanding tropes. admittedly in big, long pieces of fiction (fan or otherwise) in the 40k+ category, i can get tired of it, but misunderstandings are such a great way to understand and explore the interpersonal and INTRApersonal strengths/weaknesses/flaws of characters and their understanding of the world they are in. i was afraid everyone was going to hate this fic on sight bc it's written for me (and charlotte) specifically (and i've found from some very vocal and angry people that they hate misunderstandings (not on this blog, thank goodness, everyone has been lovely!)), but i am SO INCREDIBLY HONOURED AND GRATEFUL AND GLAD that you like it!!!!! i don't even have words for how much all of the comments, but this one especially, meant!!! all of your comments breaking it down made me smile wider and wider!

i hope my work continues to be entertaining, and THANK YOU again for this lovely ask!! (ps, your grammar is stellar!! much love!!!)

-lizzy <3

(pps mwah mwah mwah mwah)

#ask box #lizzy answers #anon <3

3 notes · View notes

nahalism · 7 months

Note

You re getting very long questions &i apologize but i don’t think i can make this one short. Different anon i hope it’s okay to tag along. If i am not wrong here a lot of evolutionary psychologist among others go to the nature argument and state that homosexual orientation as we observe in some humans [so a persistent attraction to the same sex, as opposed to a situational one (for example when a partner from the opposite sex-to whom we are fundamentally attracted to-is not available to them so they ”compensate”)] is unnatural and should be corrected or at the very least accepted like any other mental issue but not normalized, treated as a sexuality disorder (because our purpose is to survive and procreate so everything that leads us away from it is a deviation from whats natural, normal and beneficial in this take, that it’s a dis-order and an undesirable state. That plus the argument that ”problems” with sexuality usually go hand in hand with other disorders and mental problems) the argument i saw is that there are cases of homosexual acts in animal kingdom but apparently it’s mostly either accidental, caused by inability to find a partner of opposite sex or if it does happen to be a persistent purely homosexual attraction then the animal gets somehow rejected (like in monkeys) just like they would for any other deviation from the norm. We can observe that they exclude or even ridicule in their own ways individuals that are ”different”, sometimes in rather cruel ways. So i guess that would make some straight people’s disgust and rejection of homosexual people valid and natural in that scenario?

Just to clarify i am not speaking of or from my own views&mind here & onley chiming in to mention something i have personally heard from professionals, something that has been a big block on the road of my own acceptance of my orientation and sth that irks me if i try to look to animal kingdom for answers/guidance and rely on nature arguments too much because they caused me to feel like a malfunction of it rather than part of it. I’d be most interested to hear what you think. I send well wishes

heyyy, disclaimer, im no authority on what is right and wrong. i dont know what the creators intentions are, i can only speak on my own feelings and convictions (all of which are constantly evolving and changing based on what i learn and come to know)

i have heard similar theories, and other theories that differ in their line of argument but lead to the same conclusion. id be lying if i said some of them didnt have a convincing edge/haven't caused me to question the validity of my own sexual orientation. but ultimately, i live life based on my own convictions and beliefs. you can only fight theories with theories, and im not about to formulate a theory to justify myself because i dont want to have to convince anyone of my right to exist as i am. however, what i do have are my feelings and my experiences. ive loved women, ive loved men, ive loved agender/nonbinary folks, and ultimately it all comes down to the same thing. loving another human being — i can tell you now, the love i felt in those moments, was and is incredibly pure. i have no doubt that god, or whatever you wish to refer to it as (if you refer to it at all), approved. and for me personally speaking that enough.

now.. this is controversial but id be lying if i didnt speak on it.. i do think there is a balancing of poles that occurs when a man and woman are together. something, energetically shifts with the joining of two opposing halves and i believe procreation is merely a metaphor/physical symbol for the creative possibilities that come as a consequence of that merging. i think when two opposite individuals learn to harness their receptive and assertive energies and balance those energies both within themselves and as a pair, a specific energetic portal is opened. other souls (aka babies) can come through that portal, however, so can so much more. (a topic for another time). that being said!!! i also dont believe the main purpose of life for both humans and animals is procreation.

the idea we all just come here to make babies and go is very anachronistic, and even more so with the current overpopulation of humans in the world (7.888 billion -__-). if we were all here simply to procreate, i think we'd have completed that mission and returned to source by now, no? perhaps, we are all here as different expressions of the same energy, gathering intel and experience that with the expression of each life, collectively encourages the evolution of our collective consciousness, thus progressing humanity, the beings we share the earth with, and the cosmos at large, forward — perhaps we are helping the universe learn and understand itself, or perhaps the universe is using us to teach one another its own nature, and the true face of love. thus, the love i have for you, for a dog, for my partner, for my mother, for a random pig etc, all compiles into a 'data bank/record' that creates a feedback loop, and each time i love well, or each time i lack love completely, the universal energy learns, we learn, we self correct, and we come closer to unity, closer to oneness, closer to love. unfortunately, contrast and conflict creates greater evolution and need for evolution that homogeny does. without superficial differences would we recognise the depth of our fundamental similarity? without pain/discomfort, would we wholly grasp the joy of experiencing pleasure/comfort?

anyway, to wrap it up, i believe that we all come here with different missions, and maybe for some, their mission is to practice that balancing of halves, and as such experience a hetrosexual relationship. however, for others, their mission may be something else entirely. it may be learning to love and meld with a reflection of their own energy, it may be teaching people that love can take multiple forms, and that the true definition of love is to take another person as a part of yourself and love them, unconditionally, without prejudice, regardless of who they love, or how different they are to the 'norm'. if my theory that the joining of any two individuals creates a form of energy exponentially larger than their physical form in realms invisible to the eye, that still stands for queer couples. fine, the energy may not take the same form in the sense that a child cant be born from it, but that doesnt mean its any less valid, any less important, or any less magnificent in its capacity for what it is able to create.

humans are full of theories and ultimately we as people have to live in our truths and trust in our own intuition before giving credence to the opinions and theories of other people, because after all, they are just people. they are no different to us, and nor are they exempt from being infalliable. be your self and love who you love proudly because loving in a world like this is never something to be ashamed of.

sending u love and well wishes <3

#ask

4 notes · View notes

xxxevilfilms · 8 months

Text

Burn The Groove To Death

Info: It's Valentine’s Day and Chaos decides it's time to take his relationship with Giovanna to the next level.

Warnings For: Branding, Noncon, Sexual Abuse, Domestic Violence, Yandere(?), Dirty Talk, General Ickiness

As I said in my last post, yandere Chaos is best Chaos. Please heed the warnings, I don't write anything wholesome, and this is definitely something no one with a weak constitution should read. This is from my kinktober/one-shot series on my ao3. Actual fic is under the cut!

Chaos loved Giovanna. She wasn’t the most affectionate woman in the world, but Chaos loved her all the same. She had her quirks like any other girl, and in spite of her lack of affection and inability to express her own love for him, Chaos took her intractability in stride and did whatever he could to support his...girlfriend?

Wife?

Lover?

Fuck it, might as well call her his wife. It’s not like she’s going anywhere anytime soon.

The shopkeepers, neighbors, and gardeners who lived in the quaint little mountain village he’s settled into refer to her as his wife and in turn refer to Chaos as a good husband, a dutiful provider who has done a phenomenal job tending to his wife’s needs and wants. Giovanna doesn’t say anything when she hears the praise the townsfolk give to Chaos and his actions, opting to stay silent and look away whenever his name falls off their ignorant tongues. That was the most she did in public though; at home, she was much worse. Giovanna wasn’t the most demonstrative of the love Chaos was sure she held for him and liked to chew him out or sneak up on him with a weapon of her own choosing when she was really mad. Thankfully he was always able to shut her down quickly before she or that mangy dog of hers could do too much damage.

It was honestly quite funny. A normal man would toss their girl out in a heartbeat for such awful behavior, but Chaos, in his insanity, loved it; he loved his unruly baby and the eternal flame that burned bright behind those gorgeous cerulean depths of her. He so desperately wanted to smother it and turn Giovanna into the proper whore wife she’s destined to become, what he’s written out for her in his metaphorical synopsis. She was a mulish, fierce little bitch that Chaos found great joy breaking down. For the longest time, he’s wanted to go further, watch her crack and split like a dead leaf as he fucked, beat, and spat the fear of God into her very being, but he was never sure how to do that until now.

He always enjoyed the concept of Valentine’s Day despite its vapidness. Dedicating an entire twenty-four hours of life to your lover was a saccharine concept, but Chaos appreciated the idea. Some couples were simply too busy with their individual schedules to spend time with one another, so to invent a holiday where you’re forced to acknowledge your significant other’s presence regardless of how you truly feel about them was an ingenious design in spite of the pallid, sentimental shroud that blankets the holiday. He wanted to give Giovanna that experience, force her to notice him, accept him, take him, and remember him not just for one day, but for the rest of her natural-born life.

It was like a light bulb went off in his head when he saw the Valentine’s Day deals that were pasted on the walls and windows of flower shops and bakeries, and Chaos refused to let that bulb burn out and die. He instead threw on his best clothes, visited the finest florists and hardware stores in town, and bought Giovanna a bouquet of beautiful pink azaleas and what might as well be her engagement ring.

After cruising through town for his “wife’s” gifts, Chaos finally returns to the cabin he kept Giovanna in and quickly opens the door to greet her with presents in hand. Upon entering their home, he sees Giovanna gazing longingly out the window, her eyes narrowing and nose wrinkling in disgust when she notices his presence. She doesn’t even bother meeting his gaze and keeps her eyes trained on the blowing leaves and trembling branches of the trees outside.

“Hey there, doll face.” He greeted airily, the older man nudging his face into her own once he was close to her. “Someone’s a little grouchy, huh? Lighten up, hon, it’s Valentine’s.”

Giovanna says nothing for a time.

“You reek...”

“Must be my cologne. I heard chicks dig natural musk.”

The former secret service agent sighed and tried turning her back towards him, but was halted by Chaos’ hand shooting to her shoulder.

“Hey, hey, hey, wait up a second, okay?” He uses his strength to turn her toward him, so she can see the expensive dress shirt, slacks, suspenders, and overcoat that he stole from some luxury outlet store. “Don’t you wanna see what I got you?”

Crossing her arms, Giovanna takes in the assortment of pretty flowers cradled by Chaos’ thick arm and the brown bag tucked under its twin. It made her scoff and finally decide to indulge in the man once it became apparent that he was serious.

“Fine, I’ll bite,” She rolled her eyes. “The hell is this?”

“Flowers. Azaleas, tiger lilies, and uh...some other fuckin’ thing I can’t remember.” He handed, or rather forced, the bouquet into Giovanna’s arm and flashed her a mad grin. “But they’re pretty though, yeah? Pretty flowers for my pretty baby.”

“Keep your damn weeds...” Giovanna grimaced at the bouquet in her hands before promptly shoving it back into Chaos’ arms. “I don't care what you do, I'm not falling for it."

"Ooh, that's not nice, doll. You really gonna be like that after I dump all this money on you?" He then laughed and asked, "Someone's getting a bit spoiled, ain't she?"

"Leave me alone," Giovanna bit back. "Why don't you fuck off back to the florist and return them then?"

"C’mon, baby. Chill it with the histrionics, you don’t wanna play this game, do you?" Chaos asked, the lilt in his voice so chipper it made Giovanna tremble like a bursting volcano. "I wanna treat you good tonight, doll, don't be like this. This ain’t no way for a wife to treat her husband last time I checked."

The utterance of such a title was enough to send her over the edge. Her nostrils flared while the bind on her forehead shifted from pale brown to bright red as brilliant green fur began manifesting behind her right shoulder.

Chaos responded accordingly.

The bouquet falls to the floor in a heap when Chaos’s hand flies to Giovanna’s scalp, his long fingers weaving themselves into his wife’s auburn locks to yank her to the floor before she could summon Rei. Giovanna screamed and clawed at his wrist in response, manicured nails trying their hardest to render Chaos’ flesh as she’s dragged across the floor and through the hallway by her captor so he could take her to their bedroom. He chuckled at her struggle as he fought through the pinpricks of pain that she scratched into his skin. She was feisty today, and he liked it when she was feisty.

"I'm not and I'll never be your damn wife!" She shouted. "So unless you want to get splattered on a wall again, get out of my--”

“Man, Gio, you just love stirring me up, huh? Just love causing trouble for yourself? Man, it’s almost like you hate me or something!” Letting out a barely restrained cackle, Chaos hoists Giovanna to her feet so he can throw her on the bed. For the briefest moments, the apostle watches the younger woman scramble against the sheets to clutch her stinging scalp but halts any further movement from her by summoning a magical incantation that bounds her wriggling limbs to her sides. Giovanna growls, spits, and curses at Chaos like a wounded animal soon after, her creased brows and rictus grimace prompting Chaos to grab the brown paper bag that was stuffed under his arm and present its contents to her.

“Well, I think you’ll find a reason to hate me in a second...” Chaos ogled her squirming figure as he fetched for the heavy piece of iron and steel that sat prone in the bag. “Hell, you might even wanna kill me after you see this one, baby...”

Chaos sees Giovanna’s angry eyes tremble with fear when she sees him pull out a long and solid hunk of metal that measures over a foot long, topped with a near-perfect iron casting of the emblem imprinted onto Chaos’ chest.

Like the smart girl she is, Giovanna instantly recognizes what it is Chaos holds in his hand and visibly pales at what he has in mind for her.

“What the actual fuck is that...!?” She screamed out. “Get that shit away from, or I swear to fucking God, Kurt...!”

“What? Think of it as your wedding ring. I think it’s time we made this shit official, hon.” Chaos reassured. “Now on your belly, it won’t hurt as bad if I sear it on your ass.”

“No, no ! Get the fuck off me!”Giovanna fights against the invisible restraints that tie her limbs down but is helpless to Chaos’ ministrations. He flips her over, adjusts her legs so that she’s kneeling into the mattress with her ass in the air, and wastes no time dipping his fingers into the waistband of her sweats to pull them down to the backs of her knees. Giovanna cries out and squirms with all her might to get out from under her captor, but is given a smack on her left ass cheek when she tries.

“You should’ve been an actress, baby. I swear, the theatrics you pull off are a riot,” Chaos summons a small blue ball of burning hot fire from his hand to hold it up to the brand. “But you gotta stop moving, hon. The last thing we need is this fucker getting on your face.”

“I knew you were crazy, but fucking hell...!” Giovanna yelled into the sheets. “Look, I’m sorry, I’ll do whatever the fuck you want, alright? Spoil me, pamper me, do whatever the fuck you want, but please, Kurt, not this shit!”

“I know I was being a bitch, we can talk this out, right? I’m sorry, I really am, I just get a little stir-crazy when you’re out for too long!” She’s on the verge of hyperventilating when sweltering heat radiating from the brand warms her sweating skin. “Come the fuck ON , Kurt! I don’t wanna fucking do this with you!”

“Eh? I am spoiling you, doll, what are you talking about?” He watched the brand’s iron glow bright orange from the fire while he tutted at his wife’s behavior. “I’m not kidding when I say this is your wedding ring. An eternal declaration of my love to you, a symbol of my dedication to our relationship, and uh...whatever else I saw in that shitty Hallmark card.” Once the brand began glowing red, Chaos took it off the fire and extinguished the flame before sitting back on his calves to get a good look at his wife’s big plump ass. Giovanna visibly shakes and shudders like a leaf when the sound of fire crackling against turgid metal ceases and pleads to Chaos again for mercy.

“Oh yeah, lemme hear you beg, baby,” Chaos moved the brand closer to her sweating skin and simpered evilly. “Lemme hear it.”

Giovanna pleaded more as the tears she tried holding back fell freely down her cheeks, but her pleas are silenced when Chaos finally held the brand to her left buttock.

The scream that left her soon after made him hard as a rock.

A long, broken, blood-curdling wail erupted from Giovanna’s throat when the brand made contact with her rear. Her skin sizzles and crackles under the heat of the iron’s weight, the metal making quick work of her ass by burning its emblem into her taut flesh with the help of its sadistic owner. Giovanna instinctively tried scrambling away from her crazed “husband” by waggling her hips as hard as she could but is stopped by Chaos who grabs the back of her neck and holds her down so he could press the brand harder into her buttock as punishment. Smoke quickly billowed around her burn the longer he forces the iron into her abused flesh, the pressure and pain ripping another fresh scream from Giovanna that sends a jolt straight to his cock. The fat of her ass jiggles and squishes around the iron’s deathly hot surface so prettily, Chaos entertains the thought of fucking her while he burns her ass to a crisp, but decides against it for now. Right now he wants to savor the moment, savor the thrill that came with forcing his gorgeous wife to take his “love,” and quickly praises her resilience by whispering honeyed poison into her ears.

“Feels good, don’t it, Gio? You're taking this fucking thing so good, how bout I give you a matching set, right on the other cheek, eh?" He jostled the brand against her flesh then to tease the idea, making her cry more.

"G-Get the f-fuck off of me NOW , Kurt...!" She wept. "It fucking hurts, it hurts so fucking much! Just stop it already!"

"I know, baby, I know, but just a little longer, yeah? Doing so good for me, can't wait to dick that sweet cunt down after we're done." He cooed sweetly. "Then I’ll clean ya up and you'll have a fresh new tat to show off... Well to me at least. We wouldn’t want any scum-sucking degenerates to see this beauty on ya!”

Chaos lets the brand linger on her burnt flesh for a moment longer before deciding to finally take it off. Giovanna belted out a strangled groan when he does, the younger woman unable to do much but lay there and shake her ass in the air in a desperate bid to give it some relief. As she snivels from the pain, Chaos ogles the heart-shaped charr mark he left in Giovanna’s flesh to admire the weeping flesh and ruptured blisters that marred her flawless brown skin. Chaos liked what he saw and whistled at the sight before bending over to give her wound a reverent kiss, his tongue catching the distinct taste of burnt meat on his lips when Giovanna twitched violently at the touch.

“So pretty, baby girl... Even better than the flowers I got ya,” He smirked from ear to ear and then sat up to fuss with the buckle keeping his slacks up. “Almost too pretty...” Uncinching his belt and pulling down his fly, Chaos frees his heavy cock from the confines of his dress pants to grip it in his hand and hold it over Giovanna’s sex. “That’s so goddamn hot, holy fuck...”

“Nngh...” Too exhausted to fight, Giovanna lets Chaos spit on his hand and rub her cunt with his fingers to lubricate her, her red eyes closing and voice catching in her sore throat when she felt the older man push in. She grunts and groans during it all, unable to fight and unable to push him away, and Chaos revels in the mess he’s made of her by tracing his thumb over the fresh brand on her ass again. Giovanna shrieked and then wished death upon him for that, but the empty threat and the sight of his “heart” on her flesh only makes Chaos fuck her harder, harder and faster like the slut he wants her to be.

“Now you’re my wife not only in name but in body, too...” He breathed out, pace unfaltering and breath already labored. “I love you, baby, I fucking love you and this tight hot cunt...”

Giovanna doesn’t say anything and opts to wait for Chaos to finish by closing her eyes and giving in to the exhaustion that quickly overwhelms her body.

#guilty gear #dead dove do not eat #evilfics #happy chaos #ggst #giovanna guilty gear #yandere

2 notes · View notes

cocksuki2 · 2 years

Text

im going to try as best i can to put a blue flag analysis/review into words. it is one of those series that is so deeply personal and so deeply moving to me that i find it difficult to articulate just how it makes me feel or just what i want to say about it. that being said, even after my fourth (?) reread, it continues to be one of the most beautiful stories i’ve had the pleasure of reading.

it is a delightfully character driven series. so much so that one of the author’s goals for it was that “nothing happens”. it’s a manga that focuses purely on change, decisions, loving who and what you love, living your life, and getting through the many hurdles that adolescent life poses.

the main character, taichi ichinose, struggles throughout the series with his own feelings of failure, inferiority, and identity. he is someone who is deeply troubled by his inability to act and wants more than anything to coast by as “normal” without causing problems. he believes himself to somehow be less than his counterparts and at first he strikes you as the stereotypical “no one understands me” protagonist. however, what sets him apart (on a fundamental level) from other protagonists is the affection he holds for the people that he loves. he’s deeply emotional, but struggles with accepting himself as he is. taichi’s plight is him trying to reconcile his short-comings, his insecurities, his inability to act, and his feelings of inferiority when compared to his childhood best friend toma mita.

toma mita—6′2, outgoing, smart, captain of the baseball team, and conventionally attractive—has been taichi’s best friend since elementary school. he fulfills the common “popular boy” trope without losing the qualities that make him human. however, taichi and toma are fundamentally different people. where toma is cool and outgoing, taichi is less so. as they grew up, taichi began to recognize this apparent gap between them and as he became more insecure, he gradually begins to separate what toma mita is from what he is. taichi even goes so far as to accept that someone has call him and toma “different species”. taichi struggles to reconcile this difference, not particularly resentful of toma, but unwilling to fight the notion that the reason for the gap between them is anything but a fundamental preordained reason. as a result, toma and taichi drift apart with taichi becoming somewhat gloomy (despite toma’s understanding of taichi as cheerful and creative). taichi has a hard time believing that they are even friends, despite toma’s insistence on remaining connected in some way. this doesn’t change until their third year of high school when they are put in the same class along with futaba kuze.

futaba kuze is a shy, small, quiet girl who struggles with speaking up. she’s clumsy, awkward, easily flustered, and feels herself to be a burden on those around her. despite this, she works up the courage to ask taichi what type of person toma is. as a result, taichi learns that futaba is in love with toma and gets roped reluctantly into helping them get together. at first, taichi doesn’t like futaba. she reminds him too much of himself but he is moved by her desire to change and grow as a person, a desire he is unable to acknowledge within himself. as the year progresses, the three form a meaningful and unlikely friendship that goes beyond the original goal of getting toma and futaba together and connecting deeply with the people around them, including futaba’s best friend masumi itachi.

now this may sound like your run of the mill love triangle story and i’m not saying that it isn’t. what sets this story apart from others like it is the depth of its characters. every character is so delightfully fleshed out with their own motivations, goals (or lack thereof), beliefs, and values. they regularly circumvent stereotypes usually allotted to the character archetypes they fit and surprise you with their emotional depth. this is even (and perhaps especially) true with the side characters in the story, who take on lives of their own in the narrative.

but perhaps the largest theme in this manga is the concept of identity, which is a common thread through the entire thing. the story features many queer characters, all of them dealing with being queer in a society that looks down on it in different ways. it explores some of the many facets that come with a queer identity, as well as the values of the people around them.

the theme of identity and normalcy is an incredibly strong one in this story. KAITO (the author) brings all of his characters together beautifully to pose the question of “what does the world look like to you?” and “what is happiness to you?”. it truly is a story where he demonstrates that the happiness of the individual exists outside of the boundaries of normalcy and that happiness is found in any number of things.

in fact, i think he even showcases this concept of what is normal and expected in his characters. the story revolves around leaving the bounds of “normal” to find happiness and just living authentically with the choices you’ve made. even his characters, which look like they will fall into a classic category, radically circumvent that “normal” and carry the theme just in the way they are written. the story regularly fights and circumvents common tropes, allowing for unconventional solutions, communication, and unexpected closes to things readers would normally assume would be a major arc. emotions like jealousy, insecurity, anger, and discomfort are all talked about before they can become problems and the story becomes a beautiful focus on the choices they make to get to their desired ends. it is entirely about the characters’ growth, as well as what it means for people to have different values and aspirations.

it is not about how they make the choices they do, but rather the choices themselves and how they have lead them to where they are now. it really is such a fantastic showcase of human emotion, as well as the turbulence of discovering who you are in a world where there are so many trivial dos and don’ts.

even now i feel like i’m not doing this analysis justice because there are so many topics i’d like to touch on and go into. it’s such an incredibly multifaceted story with such beautifully written characters and if i could, i’d like to go in depth about each character and then about each theme individually.

but for now all i really am trying to say is that blue flag absolutely continues to amaze me with the quality of its story, as well as the fresh take it has on romance, identity, and the very genre of romance manga. i have a lot of appreciation for it.

#cal.analysis #series.blue flag #this is relatively spoiler free #this isnt rly an analysis ... kinda just a lot of statements abt the story #but alas... i love it #i just... i really REALLY love this series #blue flag #it means a lot to me #im gonna have a LOT to say about toma and mami (who i didn't mention in this)#i just.. especially mami #i have a lot to say abt her and her arc specfically #bc she's one of the best examples of circumventing a lot of common character archetypes #i WILL be back

21 notes · View notes

insurrection-if · 2 years

Note

I understand that Fyodor desperately needs to please his crush and his inability to say no makes it very vulnerable. I've read that simp tend to be overly submissive. I have some doubts (in which I apologize if this infuriates you a lot), but Fyodor must also learn to appreciate what the MC does for him and to face his insecurities because the MC can accept yes, but to a certain point otherwise it becomes a rather unstable relationship.

It's a question of reciprocity, otherwise it makes sense for MC to get angry with him, they will question their sense of worth. Every MC who plays has a lot to give and at the same time a lot to receive. Suppose the MC adopts the same mentality as Fyodor (give-and-take relationships), can the MC accept the wants to please him and vice versa? Can Fyodor accept that the MC who has the power of himself even if it is briefly?

I have a question for you about Fyodor, do they worry about their size? As I mentioned in the other post, they can crush the MC with no problem especially if they are short (height), in which it is absolutely unacceptable that the MC has to support the full weight of Fyodor, sorry but I don't l I have a question for you about Fyodor, do they worry about their size? As I mentioned in the other post, they can crush the MC without a problem especially if they are short (tall), in which it is totally unacceptable that the MC has to support the full weight of Fyodor, sorry but I don't see him as a top , at the risk of killing the MC by supporting his weight. How will Fyodor react if he finds out that the MC has died carrying his full weight? It will surely be devastating for him to find out.

When I said Niccolo is the only RO switch with versatile tendencies (this means in the other post).

It was not my intention to give you the ramazina, I deeply apologize if this will piss you off in any way. But if I have to watch the MC (short in height) support the weight of a giant, it is absolutely unfair. Love of love for Fyodor 🙂

(；´∀｀) I deeply apologize for a horribly overdue response! And please let me assure you that I am by no means upset! It’s entirely my fault to have given that perception! (*╯-╰)ノDue to the length of my response, I hope it's alright for me to place it under a cut for those that would wish to ignore!

Mm, starting with the weight issue, Fyodor just has an idealization that he would be a top due to his traditional understanding of himself as a man in a relationship (no matter the gender identity of his partner), and simply because it’s where he would also like to be even as he becomes more experienced in a sexual relationship. Like, however, doesn't equate to a need in order for him to be fully satisfied.

And, well, more directly on the issue of weight, I want to try to keep his gift under wraps as much as I possibly can—at the very least by avoidance of outright stating it—but please keep in mind that Fyodor is by no means a normal human constrained by normal human limitations!

If an MC expresses their trust in him to cause them no harm from that position, then I can assure you that Fyodor (being the Gifted he is) will not cause them any harm. All it takes is a little confidence on his behalf!

Mm, though if an MC does psyche him out by informing him on the realistic risks (and their consequences) in such an arrangement, then yes the idea should be fully aborted—and probably not brought up again unless some major pep-talks manage to override Fyodor's newfound deep fear towards trying it out. ( ;´д｀)

The best advice when it comes to Fyodor: ignorance is bliss. To a healthy extent, of course. （；^ω^）

But, to add, Fyodor is content to remain an eternal bottom or be a mindful switch if that is what make the MC most comfortable. Relationships are a collaborative affair, and Fyodor will be happy to work through any arrangement with an MC that bears concerns about his size. He trusts them to be honest and open about their concerns, and (though he can be rather dense at times) he will try to be as empathetic as possible to their discomfort with his physicality. There should be in-game opportunities to discuss his size, seeing as it's so difficult to overlook, and how it makes the MC feel.

As for his perception towards his size, no, Fyodor doesn’t often feel concern about it—at least not in the present. Not even a bumped head in the doorframe or extensive standing-crouches in small rooms spur much complaint or (externalized) discomfort in him. He accepts that the world is quaintly little in his palms, and any mishaps that result from it he credits to a clumsiness that anyone of any size would be faulted for (even if the damage from his mishaps are far more notable).

In a relationship with the MC, he will start to develop some insecurities about it due to how delicate and precious they feel to him, but (as somewhat mentioned) his Gift has assisted in easing its potential dangers when around his friends. The same will be a common extension to the MC; a side effect of his gift as natural as breathing, as long as he doesn't (or isn't made to) think about it with a sudden awareness.

For most his life, his size has been a mark of pride for him due to its deterrence of violence towards his companions and co-workers. Yes, he has received treatment ranging from teasing to terror to degradation in relation to his physicality, but Fyodor has developed a thick skin against the jabs of acquaintances and strangers (as such jabs tend to be rather frequent). Yet with Gabriel, Mishka, Panya, and Anatoly always reassuring him about his appearance by listing all the times it helped to protect or benefit them, Fyodor has come to consider it a boon if it means it can be of service to another. And it certainly helped to so quickly promote him in his former career—for better and worse! (But that meant more money to contribute to his familial network.) Though he has caused harm to many others with it, unintentionally and purposefully, it all felt justified at the time. In the present, Fyodor tries to avoid reflection or mention on those incidents.

And onto submissiveness and simpiness, I want to state that no matter what, Fyodor is deeply and truly a simp at his core and always will be. Even as he works to overcome certain tendencies and insecurities, Fyodor cannot help but want to worship everything about his partner as absolute perfection. (´∀｀)♡ That, however, doesn't mean that his natural expression of affection hasn't been warped by his experiences.

Fyodor was raised in an extremely authoritarian household up until his father’s death— a place where disobedience or error (as frivolous or made-up as it was) was instantly punished by a variety of means. Love had been sparse and conditional (or so it felt), and Fyodor developed deep attachment issues and sense of self-worth in that environment, his sense of meaning slowly forming the foundations of being rooted into his subservience to others. The horror of this home was shortly followed by a turbulent and frightening time for him as a boy being raised by his suddenly cold and strict mother; a situation that heightened (and shamed) his clingy tendencies. It also made him realize the burdens he unwittingly posed onto those he loved as his nature and behavior dragged more weariness and fear onto his beloved mother (and Gabriel to an extent).

In his teen years and adulthood as well, though episodes of chaotic liberation interspersed the confrontation of his grim reality, Fyodor fell into the clutches of yet another domineering warden that actively worked to undermine his self-confidence and independence. Obedience was once again heavily rewarded with consideration and praise whereas defiance earned him additional scars to mask or guilt to bear. His value, and thus his treatment, was heavily tied to the utility his service offered to the vague father-figure that was his boss.

This is all to say that Fyodor hates to feel burdensome on those he cares about, despises conflict in his personal relationships, and fears that the smallest infraction towards the MC's wants and needs would be met with their discarding of him (rather than communication or forgiveness).

Fyodor is quite complex when one contrasts his behavior and attitude to strangers vs. those he cares closely about. A romantically involved MC will access a degree of vulnerability no others have neared. The novel reality of this will be blissful and jarring for a Fyodor that feels like he's adrift at sea, without a ship or light, amidst a nighttime hurricane. In other words, he's entering the relationship on an adrenaline rush of excitement while falling in blind, disoriented, and scared. It is the greatest miracle to ever happen to him, and he is terrified of losing this by being too selfish when it comes to the MC.

The MC will be able to call-out Fyodor's issues with reciprocity, gently / bluntly / harshly / empathetically or so forth, which is a concern that never would have crossed his mind. He will push back that he wants to spoil them, that their happiness is his, and that all he needs from them is the occasional assurance that they are his. Mm, imagining it now, this type of argument would actually bear the potential to spur a genuine, unrestrained outburst from Fyodor . . . likely to be followed by a breakdown. It doesn't make sense to him how treating the MC as he always dreamed to be treated could make them unhappy. He is trying to give them everything, trying to restrain himself as well, and yet still they are unhappy with him . . . (´Ａ｀。)

Continue to push him: "I do not want anything from you. I want you to be happy."

Push him more: "I do not know what I want. I want you. Only you."

Keep pushing him to the truth: "I want you to love me."

To him, nothing could be more selfish than that. (｡•́-ก̀｡)

Get angry with him, be upset on his behalf, work it through, etc. It is foreseeable that some MCs may grow frustrated since Fyodor will do all he can to sugarcoat his past as to not cause them concern for what cannot be undone (and to not give them reason to leave him)- a tactic that ends up leaving the MC in the dark about his reasoning and actions on matters in their relationship. All this atop Fyodor's tendency to bend-over-backwards to justify mistreatments against him as he recounts the past, experiences that inform his overcompensating treatment of them in the present. (◞‸◟；)

He's been hurt a lot by countless people, and as much as he loves the MC so quickly and deeply, Fyodor is genuinely clueless towards his subconscious fear of trusting them to not leave him at the drop of a hat. To him, it’s not a paranoia but simple fact. One slip, one scare, and he might lose them before he even has a chance to beg. At least, in his mind, he might earn enough favor for that chance to beg for them if he isn’t so high-maintenance or bothersome for them to keep. (；′⌒`)

Fyodor has room to improve, and with patience from the MC he will come to realize that his good-intentions might have caused harm to his love. Even an MC more lax about it all will experience the relationship start to stabilize naturally as Fyodor grows more comfortable and develops more (bedrock) trust in the foundation of their partnership. He can be quite selfish when it comes to the MC, even if he tries hard to hide and suppress it, and the longer the relationship stands the harder it becomes for him to resist the temptation of indulging himself with the reception of their love and care.

And now taking a sharp circle back to his submissiveness, that's just because it's similar to how Fyodor has always expressed his care for another - by happily following their whims and wants as he places his trust in their ability to help take care of him as well. He has the full potential to be dominant or versatile in the relationship as long as the MC waits for him to become more confident in himself, or they're willing to endure a bit of shyness on his part as he worries about his inexperience hurting them. No matter the position or dynamic though, Fyodor will never fail to prove himself a simp in both actions and words throughout the entire experience, haha! (´∀｀•)

TLDR: Fyodor will bottom, switch, or top as you please and can manage any position without harming the MC (in thanks to his gift) so long as he isn't made hyperaware of the actual risks. MCs can also challenge / work with Fyodor's issues with relationship imbalance when it comes to give and take. d(･∀･○) Confidence (and ignorance) makes the key fuel for Fyodor as an individual and a Gifted! Throw some encouragement and trust in him as well and then the magic really happens!

I hope this response was at the very least marginally helpful after so long a wait! ( ;´д｀)

#c: fyodor #ro

18 notes · View notes

phlve · 11 months

Text

EN(F) — Extraverted Intution supported by Feeling

Alert to all the possibilities, operates by creative impulse and chaotic energy. Hates routine and develops insights amounting to wisdom and the power to inspire others. Worry and happiness, sharp swings of mood, reacts to life more boisterously than others. Delight from joy, despair from sorrow, "from passionate cries of joy - to extreme anguish". Subtle altruistic motivations. Attachment to family, friends, joy for them. Sudden enthusiastic urges. Love of nature, art, music, interest in sports. Spiritual experiences, the search for a worldview, extreme impressionability and suggestibility. Pity, compassion for unfortunate people and for sick animals. Artistic nature: artists. poets. pride and courage not without exaggeration. Representatives of this type are usually the most lively and individualistic people of all. Their way of thinking is non-trivial and unusual, "alien". Representatives of this type typically seem charming, warm, and considerate. They are friends with different kinds of people, and their friends like them for their insightful understanding of people's problems and peculiarities. If you have come across a person capable of keeping in good relations with their former wives. husbands, and colleagues, it is mostly likely to be this type. The drawback is their inability to do any tasks or work that requires attention to detail, meticulousness, accurate planning and scheduling, and any type of "sedentary" work. Representatives of this type may not turn in their graduation papers, quarterly accounting reports, and other important documentation for a long time. This is the type of person most prone to accept multiple projects and new initiatives, accepting so much tasks that they end up having too many things to do - and then they can't do a single project they envisioned. His openness and friendliness can sometimes play bad tricks on them. Though, sometimes he can show indomitable will and determination to reach goals, later he may regret the harsh words he has said and the actions he committed and seek reconciliation. Polite, cheery, sensible, emotive, friendly, innocent, "childlike". Feeling of harmony and integrity of the world prevails here. A wide variety of events may be perceived as normal: even very tough life's circumstances could be perceived as some kind of working environment, he takes it easy, does not panic. The principle of existence: "The world around me is in harmony. therefore I exist.". Might get compulsively intrigued and interested, "lovesick", towards things that attracted his imagination; hyperactive, ignores space and falls in love with an idea, he seeks to idealize and perceive the external reality with rose-colored glasses. Harmony and peace of mind, meaningful existence. Easily distracted by alternatives.

The integrity of the internal situation is the most rigidly ignored value. This means that this type has no such thing as an "inner core", ideology, character. He does not know how to dive into himself. meditate. find inner peace on their own. He will often idealize the existing world all the people in it - always "good". This is what it replaces finding inner harmony. He ignores his inner world, it is an unknown territory for him. This type is likely to imitate states and feelings that should be there as far as he knows; he will make attempts to analyze his state and mood. If he cannot manage his mood, he puts up with it as with an inevitable evil which cannot be fought. "I hate the negative feelings and I want to escape any sadness", "I will make the whole world happy and I will invade everyone with positive emotions, I just want to inspire!". Defensively take refuge in na excessively upbeat belief of optimism, an expansive happy mood that hides uncomfortable sentiments. When they feel pain, and deeply, when they can't avoid the negative, some manifestations may have a masochistic urge to indulge into the sentimentality When unhappy, he can be childish and not let others be happy. Passive-aggressive. Tsunderes; they won't talk about their issues, in order to keep the harmony, but they won't be anymore fun. Quickly gets up in spirits, even if it may not be genuine. Selfish. Bright and talkative. Always relying upon his talent for immediate improvisation instead of preparing the work in advance. He loves situations when new and exciting undertakings come u. when it is bossible to demonstrate his own and others' talents: when one can still expect the most unusual development of events. His speech is often romantic, his smiles are enticing, but very often that's as far as it goes. His motto is 'emotional power over all and sexual freedom from all'. "Modest". As a rule, he is not ambitious, because he can enjoy the circle of his friends and the anticipation of something interesting. His mood determines everything: plans for the future, self-estimation, and ideas about the world. Ambitious plans can change to disappointment and sadness: but interesting news, praise, or an unexpected interesting opportunity immediately lifts his spirits. Boredom can even make him ill. The greatest pleasure for him is to find a way out from the situation that others consider hopeless. He is capable of demonstrating friendliness and benevolence to all.

"If I feel like it - then I will fall in love. if I don't feel like it - then I will fall out of love. and later I will love some more." His feelings of love are never sure and stable. Today he loves you; tomorrow will speak for itself. People of this type have no idea about commitment as far as their feelings and emotions are concerned, they sway in their emotions between love and hate, they see a wide spectrum of shades in-between. At the same time if they hate you it is not final, as it is with some other types who make up their mind once and for good. "Nothing is eternal under the moon: today I love, leave tomorrow for tomorrow". "Hey, man, are you stupid or what!" he says by the way. He is joking, teasing. External relations for them - something not very much and not always associated with internal. For example, being married, often can easily meet someone else, not seeing it as something bad. barely appearing in some companies may begin to pretend to be treated the same as all the rest of its members. Often this behavior may irritate people. In certain situations, it is still in compliance with any rules of external relations, but all of these cases - rare and strictly prescribed. For example - a funeral is not fun, it may be in relation to the employer must be some scope permitted behavior, or it may even be similar cases it was his understanding of these standards. In all other cases it is simply grossly ignored. If all go on holiday to have fun - you can create a scandal, and when all upset - you can start to behave provocatively. These people look good on a stage playing a guitar or something like that. As a rule, they live to become their ideal. They simplify the logic of the real world and idealize it. Quite often they expect their partners to comply with their abstract ideal. Has a hard time finding a partner because real partners do not meet their ideal standards. The person close by cannot be ideal by definition. He is always on the quest for his ideal object of love, unless he chooses to idealize an existing person. Always ready to argue, asserting his ideals, his worldview until they prove to everyone that they are right. These people often adhere to a school or a doctrine. Having accepted a picture of the world, they advocate and actively popularize the adopted doctrine. People of this type try to structure and line up the information of the objective world as much as possible. That is an attempt to build an ideal description of the world, which does not leave any place for transcendental notions, i.e. something inexpressible in terms of their worldview. They allow for the unknown, but the unsearchable has no right to exist. Struggles with figuring out who they really are. Reactive, most decisions are based on other people. Prone to mysticism, false memories and fantastic, "religious" voices.

This type usually has the fear of a complete form, fear of an action. A fence he is building has been under construction for ten years, but the last nail may never be hammered in; he has been writing his thesis for fifteen years, but it is still unfinished because it is 'imperfect' - still more studying needs to be done, some cross-checking is needed... etc. He frequently lives in the world of the unfinished forms, imperfect objects; and he is constantly struggling with this imperfection. To get a result from him it is necessary to put strict deadline. Otherwise the work will be procrastinated indefinitely, he will continue to alter, add, and improve things... But there is no limit to perfection! This trait should be taken into account in a working environment. Knowing this trait, he often seeks a job where work deadlines are stipulated 'by default'. This could be, for example, teaching. "A good place is the place where I have good sensations, where I feel good.". A pat on the shoulder, a good meal - and he is all yours, this is his idea of a perfect world, he feels great where these conditions are met, he is in trance. Give him some more of the same treatment - and he falls asleep, goes into a deeper trance. People of this type are especially suggestible through sensations. It is enough to say a word about somebody's health, and he gets self-conscious, thinking about his health he may get carried away. They tend to apply everything they hear to themselves, information may not even be related to them but they immediately think about their own center of the universe. People of this type are rather hypochondriac. He wishes to adjust the environment to make himself as comfortable as he can, squeezing all the available comfort out of a space. Expects someone to maximize comfort and health. Always moving in the direction of places where there is physical comfort, exquisite sensory pleasure and are not able to deny yourself this. Where it is physically comfortable there and well, even if it is very expensive. Love gourmet food, massage, stroking. Finding one place where they feel comfortable, for example, restaurant some - can go there for dinner across town. Avoid places where there is all of necessary physical facilities. Gourmets around, slaves to their preferences and habits. If you like sweet, then will eat it pounds. Often determine the state of health from the words of others, because it is very suggestible on it. Sometimes it may be trying to recreate elements of the home where they feel as comfortable as physically. Quickly get used "to the good" and this becomes their weakness in the future, without it they can not. Suggestibility authorities with respect to health issues, if to tell him that he has something to be treated, it is easy to believe it can. In this context, it can become easy prey for "paid doctors." They may forget to eat on time, take medications to sleep, so it is in need of a caring parent, friend or special one.

#personality theory #personality types #typology #cognitive functions #jung #jungian typology #en #ne #en(f)#enfp

6 notes · View notes

sunnyrosewritesstuff · 1 year

Text

The Marali Festival Commentary Part 4

Nearing the end! I hope you guys have enjoyed reading these as much as I have enjoyed making them.😊

**SPOILERS FOR THIS FIC BELOW**

Chapter 10- Cooking For Each Other

Today was meant to be the least stressful day of the Marali Festival. The passion for your family. A day to spend together doing various activities where Thorin wouldn’t be required to be ‘King Thorin’ or to have to put on airs, but could just relax with the people who genuinely loved him. And then his sister ruined it.

I am the oldest of three myself. I have plenty of experience to pull from when it comes to writing sibling interactions. (This includes making one super melodramatic over minor issues.)

“Personally, I think you deserved a lot worse.” Dis sang.

On second thought, maybe Thorin didn’t want to celebrate the Passion for Family at all because at this rate he was well on his way to the ‘Passion for Ignoring People Altogether’.

Relatable. When my siblings and I get together, it is always 1 vs. 2 with the 2 picking on the 1. Fili slid in as a perfect substitute for Frerin to keep up the dynamic.

Thorin tried to remain neutral at the offer. On one hand, he wanted to accept the truce flag and try to get back to normal with the hobbit. On the other hand, he hated cooking. It wasn’t that he was particularly terrible at it, but he had grown up with cooks to do the work for him. Even after the fall of Erebor, it was easier to let someone else provide meals or to get a meal from the inn where he stayed than to get ingredients to make it from scratch. Bilbo, he’s come to learn though, loved to cook.

So I certainly lean into the fanon HC from time to time of Thorin’s inability to cook. But I actually HC that the few ‘spoiled prince’ habits that stuck with him through the years was he doesn’t want to cook. So he messes up on purposes sometimes so people won’t ask him to do it.

“I’m sorry.” Thorin stated.

“You’ve said that.” Bilbo remarked, but his tone seemed lighter than yesterday at least.

“I’ll say it as many times as necessary until I feel forgiveness is deserved.”

I sometimes worry that I make Thorin ‘too’ much of a jackass when he flies off the handle. So I sometimes feel like I overcompensate Thorin feeling guilty about it for days, weeks, months later. He’s a bit of the self-punishing type.

Chapter 11- Picture Time

There is NOTHING better than when your siblings enter a serious relationship, and you can pull out the baby books. This chapter was the Middle Earth equivalent.

“It is a high honor indeed.” Thorin stated gravely, his arms crossed. “None of your kind have ever been invited.”

I need it to be noted that, I love Thorin accepting Tauriel fics! I just like to play with different versions of him sometimes, and Thorin just had so much animosity in the movies that I couldn’t see him getting over it completely. He’s getting better though!

“Actually, Kili mentioned he learned his bowmanship from you, Your Majesty. I would be most interested to compare techniques as your nephew is quite skilled.”

If Thorin knew he was being played, he said nothing of it as he immediately launched into what seemed to be a well told lecture on the difference between dwarven and elvish bows. Bilbo had to hide a smile at Fili’s relieved expression and Kili’s over the moon eyes. Yes, this was quite a big step for the dwarf king, and Bilbo couldn’t be more proud of him.

See? Also, I need like...SO MANY MORE FICS talking about Thorin’s prowess with a bow.

He flipped to the next page, and Thorin couldn’t be much older than nine or ten, and while it was clear he was trying to sit still, you could see the mischief dancing in his eyes.

And in the category of ‘things no one ever asks me about, and I don’t offer up information even though I should’, so I actually mathematically calculated the relationship between hobbit, man, and dwarven ages. So when Bilbo says ‘nine or ten’, he means for a hobbit. Which is about 5 years old for a man, so 11-12 is Thorin’s actual age.😅 Why am I so extra?

Also, yes. I 100% believe that Thorin was a holy terror as a young child.

She heaved a large sigh. “I won’t do his job for him if that’s what you’re getting at, Master Baggins. No matter how much I worry he’s too thick to get it right. But, I wanted you to know, to me and my sons you are already family. And always will be.”

Bilbo felt an unexpected prickle at the corners of his eyes at the dwarrowdam’s kind words. He had always considered the Company his family, but it was nice to know the reverse was true as well. Especially from someone he did not meet until after Erebor had been reclaimed.

I love Bilbo and Dis interactions. Heartfelt included.

Chapter 12- Giving/Receiving Gifts

And FINALLY! The misunderstanding comes to light...

Bilbo even found the desire to wear just a small amount of jewelry in the form of a handsome silver brooch and ear cuff.

I like to believe the Company helped Bilbo pick out pieces in the treasury that would make him more ‘dwarven’, and Bilbo 1. being a bit of a clothes horse and 2. knowing the importance of fitting into society’s expectations would relent.

“Being king means he has a lot of apologies to pass out.” Bofur teased.

Bofur was clearly not exaggerating as the line of dwarves in front of Thorin was nearly out the door, and the dwarf looked positively thrilled with the development.

I imagine Thorin has to deal with a lot of people during the year, and he’s probably not as cordial as he should be.

Bilbo’s smile slipped almost immediately.

“That’s it?”

Thorin froze, and Bilbo could almost physically feel everyone suck in a breath.

Can you imagine what all these other dwarves are thinking? Like ‘oh what Shire custom did the king forget with his apology gift?’ or ‘Had he disrespected the Company’s Burglar twice?!’

“Master Baggins, Bilbo.” Tabor amended. “You…you have always been very kind to me, and I just want you to know that…you are a gem greater than any the Halls of Erebor have seen before.”

Bilbo was smiling the whole time until that last line. It rang with a vague sense of familiarity until it settled like a rock in his gut. He knew exactly where that line was from, and he could feel the blood draining away. No, no it couldn’t be.

The LEVEL of secondhand embarrassment here. Bilbo’s just like ‘please don’t do it, dwarf I see as a small child’.

“I would be the luckiest dwarf in all of Erebor, if you would consider courting me.”

What was Fili and Kili’s back-up plan if Bilbo had accepted just out of sheer awkwardness?? An AU for later consideration...

#sunny's greatest hits #the hobbit #bagginshield #the marali festival #commentary day 4 #and tomorrow we will have the end of the commentary!!

5 notes · View notes