#but it's just Funnie to me. how do u ignore like. 1/3 of his story like that especially when it's gonna be the focus next season LMAO | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

galaxycunt · 7 months

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I Can’t Keep Crying pt 3

Pt 1 Pt 2

Quick lil note to say I love every comment I been getting on my stuff and ilysm kissing u all mwah mwah it really makes my day

Story under the cut: angst only rn

You shared a cigarette on the deck with a crew mate, watching Buggy from afar. Sometimes if it was cold, he used to lend you the coat he was wearing right now. What a fool he made you out to be.

”Captain’s let his bird fly out the cage finally?”

”Oh, shut the fuck up.”

He only laughed, “Cabaji gets his sloppy seconds, you could do worse.”

You flicked the butt in his face, storming off below the deck. Before all this, Buggy was teaching you how to throw knives. You decided it was perfect time to imagine the empty barrel was his face.

You could think of a hundred reasons for why Buggy was bad for you, but the good times popped up. His laugh, the real one he seemed to save just for you. The way he’d protect you during a raid, shoving you downstairs in a hurry yelling at you to hide. Letting you watch his shows from the catwalk, his eyes shining brightly in the spotlight as he looked up at you.

It wasn’t romantic for most people, but things were different on the sea. After a raid on a village, he kept a small box close with him. He hid away from the crew, only coming out when you said you didn’t want to eat dinner alone. He had his moods, he was soft around you. He never told you what was in there, only his mood giving a hint to what it was. Closer than what anyone else got.

”Needs work, thank god you’re not my first wave of defense,” said a voice behind you.

”Is there more to be done, captain?”

He smiled, “nah. Just wanted to see what you were up to.”

You looked him up and down, “nice necklace.”

”Eh, gonna hock it next time we dock somewhere. Can’t figure out what put in it anyway.”

You forced a smile, “I thought even pirates loved their mama.”

“Now that’s funny.”

You nodded politely, turning to leave. Buggy stopped you, his brows furrowed like he was struggling what to say.

“I didn’t…know that..well, I don’t have to really explain myself do I?”

”Excuse me?”

”Lemme make it up to you, steal a table at Baratie, dine and dash. Something fun and exciting!”

”What? No, I’m not doing that.”

He frowned, “aw come on, you’re not turning legit now, are you?”

You smiled, “I’m not doing that with you.”

Hurt flashed across his face for only a moment, “you did it first you know.”

This confused you, having no idea what he was talking about. You sized up your captain, he was a stubborn bastard.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to, so I doubt it.”

”Go clean the head.”

”You’re seriously giving me cabin boy duty?”

He nodded, causing you to groan. He smiled satisfied, he was going to make you regret sleeping with the boss. If that was how he was going to act, you were going to make him regret it too. Cabin boy was easy to pay off for shit duty.

”I’m sure there’s a way to convince your captain differently, if you wanted to be persuasive.”

Buggy stepped closer, bumping into your chest. His breath smelled of whiskey, his aura pulling you closer. It was like that when you joined his crew, amused instead of angry that you tried stealing from him. Buggy had a way with people, making them stay. You knew better.

”You don’t like me Buggy, simple as that. You made it clear more than once.”

He was at a loss for words, letting you walk away as he stood there. You held in your tears until you reached your room. The worst part about being on a ship was the lack of privacy. In your dreams, Buggy would proudly proclaim his love for you, in front of the whole world. Instead of letting you hover around him, the crew would judge you, yet you didn’t get special treatment when it came to chores.

He did give you his cabin to be alone in, and that was something you wished you had now. You cried softly, face down in your pillow. What did he mean earlier? What did you do first?

You heard your name called, ignoring it.

“You okay?”

It was your friend, petting your head softly. You gave a thumbs up, rubbing your face like nothing happened. She smiled, giving you the mug of coffee in her hand. The ship was set to sail for a small village, peaceful and full of gold. You chatted about the show, what your friend had planned.

“So what’s your plan?”

”I’ll probably still run the lights and curtains.”

”No, about him.”

You sighed, “he’s a grown ass man, he won’t apologize and I’m not gonna coddle him. We’re pirates for fuck’s sake.”

Surprisingly, Buggy still allowed you to run the lights. In the middle of the ring was the mayor, bound and gagged as Buggy made his grand entrance. He was nicer when the show ran smoothly, a little more willing to let people live.

And your mother had much bigger plans for you and your life.

Buggy glanced up at you, winking as he tortured the mayor for the key to the bank vault. He was still very handsome, sexy when he exerted his power over others. The gasps from the audience reminded you of the first time you saw his powers, it was intoxicating.

You used this opportunity to sneak away, heading towards his cabin. You weren’t sure what you wanted to find, his room was messy as always. You had some clothes left behind, deciding to take a pile. You searched around for your locket, not remembering if he kept it on today. The accordion was still in its case, you took that one too. If he was going to punish you for stealing your own things, so be it.

Realizing you never had the whole ship to yourself, you pushed your luck, snooping in his personal items. Sealed letters from someone, the name sounding familiar. Under a pile of scarves was a small box, you wondered if the locket was inside. Were you still willing to steal that damn thing from him?

You decided against it, running to your room and back to the tent before anyone noticed. You stood in the back, watching the show. The crew was probably going to stay here another couple of days, Buggy loved his adoring fans. You could escape if your luck ran out.

The show ended, Buggy noticing you near the entrance, he smiled and let you go on your way with the rest of the crew to drink. His words entered your mind again, what imagined transgression against him was he thinking of?

The crew liked putting on a small show for themselves, your friend waving as she flipped through the air. You’d miss this crew if you had to leave, Buggy couldn’t ruin this for you. You smiled, hoping to let this whole thing blow over.

You heard your name bellowed out from across the tent, Buggy marching straight toward you. The rest of the crew adverted their eyes, he was on a warpath.

You stood up straight, “yes, sir?”

”You were in my cabin. What did you take? Treasure? A map? Money?”

“My clothes. I had clothes there,” you stuttered.

He glanced around the room, “my cabin. Now.”

You nodded as you’re hurried past the crowd, embarrassed and slightly afraid. Thankful he wasn’t about to air out your relationship failures in the open. It didn’t mean anything good either way.

Buggy spun around as soon as the door closed, angry to the brim.

”You stole from me.”

”I…didn’t.”

”Yes, you did.”

”The accordion? I only took my things back.”

He waved around his room, “oh! Is that all? Nothing else? Nothing in that desk?”

You shook your head, of course he’d find out. You didn’t take anything, your only saving grace.

”I was looking for my locket,” you held up your hands, “I’m not stupid, Buggy. I only take what’s mine.”

He searched your face, the wind blowing out of his sails, he believed you.

With a laugh he shook his head, “you’re gonna be the death of me. Swear to god.”

With a nervous smile, you tried to leave. He still stopped you, lightly grabbing your arm. His eyes were filled with an emotion you couldn’t place, unsure if he could either.

“I would like to hear a song, if you’re willing to grant an audience. That’s how I’ll forgive you.”

You smile, “I’ll be right back then.”

The words slipped out so easily, the way your body moved too. You played in your youth, something you did to pass the time on long voyages. On your last ship, it was lost in the wreck. You couldn’t find a reason to get it replaced, feeling like you had no need to. You only told him about it once, in an inn months ago while you bathed together. He liked your singing, not surprised that you always been some sort of artist your whole life.

That day was when you realized you were in love with him.

“Captain?”

”Come in, I was just uh, setting the mood, I guess.”

The cabin was dimly lit, a sheer red scarf placed over a lamp. He held up his hands, motioning you to sit on his chair. You giggled, covering up your nerves.

“Any requests, captain?”

”Oh you can call me Buggy, and uh. I dunno, dealer’s choice.”

You could only remember a song partially, singing a song of a woman left at the altar on her wedding day. The notes were fumbled, your foot tapping next to his, he hummed along not knowing the lyrics.

You had a good time despite yourself, smiling as you made up a song on the spot. You could remember simple chords, singing about the woman from the previous song taking to the sea to cut her fiancé’s head off. Buggy laughed hard at that one.

“Beautiful!”

You smiled, “thanks, Bug.”

You got up to leave, Buggy stopping you again. He held his breath, thinking of something to say.

”You don’t have to leave so soon do you?”

He looked so sad, so lonely. You were certain it had to be projection on your part. He held out a hand, letting you place your fingers gently on his palm. You were in love with an image, one he displayed in full before you. You had doubts, and that was reason enough to leave.

”I can’t. I really can’t.”

He only nodded, letting you take your things with you. As you closed the door you hear him release a shuddering breath, matching the sob you were holding in yourself.

#buggy the clown #one piece #buggy one piece #buggy x reader #buggy the clown x reader

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mina-saiyat · 10 months

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Twice Interactive Story Part 865.5-898.5 1, 3, 2 (Sana, Mina, Feat. Dahyun, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu)

You ignore her and directly go to Mina's desk, and Sana is there too, that are chatting together and smile happily.

'Um, hi, what are you guys talking about, you guys seem talking something funny.' Both of them do not reply you, Sana stands up and say 'Liar!'

“Would a whole 24 hours fix this Sana? I don’t want you to be mad at me forever.” I’ll look to Mina, “I’d like to have a little chat in my office Mina.”

'Hum, how come you think you can fix this easily.' Sana turns her back at you, and you just can't stop to laugh at her childish.

'Ya, what are you laughing at?' Sana roars, she looks like a cute dog which makes you laugh even louder.

Mina smirks a little but soon returns to normal when you turn to her, 'I hope we are talking about some formal business if you want me.' Mina answers seriously.

'They looks like really happy, when can I fit in this group?' Tzuyu whispers while peeking your three from her seat.

“Very serious business Mina,” I say before heading to my office, closing the door behind Mina.

When you close the door, Sana stops you. 'Hey, wait for me!'

'What are u doing here, Sana?'

'I am gonna protect Mina from the liar.' Sana says as she sits with Mina on the couch.

You sigh and close the door, looking at them.

I chuckle to myself as I look over at them. As I walk past the couch, I pat their heads. “Mina, I really want to do more. I want to do more for this relationship, but I need you to talk to me and not just be quiet.” I pause for a second. “Before you say anything about this not being about business, this is. You are serious business to me, Mina. This relationship is serious business. I noticed the penguins you’ve left for me, thank you. What can I do to prove my love for you Mina?”

'You aren't gonna prove it if you are still asking me what you should do.' Mina replies coldly.

'Yes, I do love you, I don't know why too, you are in my heart since you take my virginity on the interview, although I was forced, but I... I don't hate you.'

'I know you have a girlfriend, so I try to stay with you whenever I have a chance, I go to your home everyday, before I wake you up, I will cuddle with you a little bit, feels like I can own you. I feel despair when you leave me while I am asleep last time, I give everything for you.'

'But what am I to you, a toy? A plaything? Everytime you find me just about sex, And you would even call other woman's name when we are fucking.' Mina roars.

'How can you do that to Mina, liar? You took her virginity on the interview?' Sana asks while she is comforting Mina.

“I don’t have a girlfriend…Look, I’m sorry Mina. You aren’t a toy to me, and I was going through something earlier but I’m over that now. I won’t call another woman’s name when I’m with you. I want to be better, I asked you on a date this Friday because I want to get to know you. To get to know what Myoui Mina likes, but you said no. What am I supposed to do?”

'Ai, your pig head.' Sana rolls her eye, 'Don't you know you can ask for another time if Mina wasn't available.' 'How come you have a girlfriend before, liar.'

'Several men want to date me, I have considered for a long time that should I go out with them, and you only care me after you know you may lose me...' Mina's eyes are red.

'Oh, Mina, don't cry, it's all the fault of the liar. It's fine, it's fine.' Sana hugs Mina while signaling you to come.

I come over and put my arms around Mina. “It’s not that I care about you only now. I’ve cared about you for a while now. I’ve just had a lot to deal with lately and I left you out. I’m sorry. Mina, I love you. I want to make it up to you.”

Sana slowly leaves the hug and let your takeover, 'Liar, I am helping you again, how do you gonna make up to me.' Sana whispers to you.

Mina still laying in your arms, you forgot how long you haven't done this to her, just cuddle and make her feel comfortable, she is really doing a lot for you, but did you do the same for her?

'Do you love Minari?' Mina looks up at you.

“Of course.” I put my forehead to hers. “I love you Minari. I love Mina.”

'Don't make Mina sad again, ok?' Sana pat Mina's head and looks at you, 'I guess I should leave you two some space.' Sana gives a fake smile before she turns to leave.

You see her face before she leaves, and you feel a little strange inside your body, no, is your heart.

I pull Sana into a hug along with Mina, “get in here Sana. You don’t get to leave so easily after hearing everything.” I squeeze them both tightly, “thank you.”

'If you don't want me to leave, then why would you leave that night.' Sana kisses your cheek.

'I ain't gonna forgive you so easily, liar.'

'What are you talking about? You two hide something behind me?' Mina asks in disbelief.

“To keep Dahyun safe from Tzuyu’s boss Sana pulled some strings, so to speak. And her reward was that I would spend a day with her.”

'A day? Alone with Sana?' I haven't done this before with you. How could you do with Sana first?' Mina looks at you poorly.

'Where did you two go last time?'

You look at Sana embarrassingly, not sure should you tell the truth.

I press myself against Mina. “I wanted to protect my sister, Mina. I knew Sana would agree if I offered that. If you’d like we could go on a little vacation together. Next weekend we could go somewhere together before coming back to work Monday.”

'But I wanna spend a longer time with you.' Mina rubs her head on your shoulder. 'What if you to Japan with me, then you can see my parents too.'

'See your parents? What do you mean Mina?' Sana asks shockly.

'What, isn't boss my boyfriend now? What's the problem?' Mina looks up at you excitedly.

I laugh hearing Mina’s words, “That’s a quick turn. You wouldn’t talk to me a few minutes ago, and now I’m your boyfriend?” I ask while cupping her cheeks.

Mina shakes her head and lets you rub her cheek, 'Oh, so you think you are not? Remember what I told you, there are a lot of men that want to be my boyfriend. If you don't want me then I will go, liar...' Mina withdraws from your hands and pretends to cry.

Sana kisses your neck from behind, 'Oh, Liar you are Mina's boyfriend? How about me then? You got to compensate me before you are occupied.'

I lift Mina’s face and smother her with kisses. “Why don’t you say that to Mina, Sana? Let’s see if something could be worked out.” I say while turning to her glance at her.

'What? You want both of us to be your girlfriend? No way...' Sana blushes as she knows you mean.

'I... don't wanna be your girlfriend, I just want the compensation. I... I gonna go now, Tzuyu's boss may need me, bye.' Sana says as she turns around to leaves your room.

'Having Minari is not enough? You want Sana too?' Mina glazes at you while she is in your arms.

"No, Mina. I just wanted you to be the one to tell her I'm off limits." I put my stare into Mina's eyes. "She'd take it better than if I said it." I kiss her forehead, "We'll have to plan the trip to Japan. It'll probably be a month or two from now, so we can get everything in order."

'No, I would not tell her that, do it yourself. The one deal with the woman you mess up with should be yourself.'

'And I am just joking, if you don't want to see my parents now is fine, I don't wanna give too much pressure on you. And you are still not my boyfriend yet.' Mina kisses you again and ready to leave for work.

I kiss her deeply, holding her body against mine. "Would you like to go on a date this Friday, Mina? We could go to the zoo and see some penguins."

'Oh, didn't I tell you that Friday I am going out with others?' Mina playfully bite your lips.

'Plus, I don't wanna see Penguin, having one Penguin is enough.' Mina points at herself.

'You should fix Sana first, one full day with her huh?' Mina gives you a smile that you feel cold.

“I guess you’re right, you’re the only penguin I need to see.” I kiss Mina’s neck, “Are you sure you want me to spend the day with Sana? I still haven’t spent a day with you.”

'Oh, you don't want to spend a day with Sana? I want you to complete your promise to her, I hate people breaking promises. Or you are really a liar?' Mina presses you harder, so you can leave hickeys on her neck.

'Tell her what you wanna say. Do what you wanna do to her.'

'I really gonna go now, Tzuyu will suspect if I stay too long.'

“I’ll go send a message to Sana, I don’t want to disappoint you.” I give Mina a kiss, and spank her, “alright, get going Mina.”

'Are you going to disappoint Sana for not disappointing me?' Mina stops at the door when she hears what you say.

'I am happy that you chose me, but I suggest you talk to her in person, a good farewell, isn't it?' Mina leaves without waiting for your answer.

You look at Mina's back, thinking what she means, is she warning you should cut off your relationship with Sana, or she doesn't mind sharing you now.

I finish the work day before sending Sana a message “After work Friday I want to meet.” After that I leave my office and ask Mina if she’d like a ride home.

Mina rejects your invitation and says she will leave herself, you walk pass Tzuyu's seat and see she leaves already.

As Sana does not reply to your message, you try to get to her at Tzuyu's old team. When you walk into that room, you can hear some familiar sounds, the moan of the woman is so familiar.

'Ahh, ha, faster! Ah!'

You quietly sneak inside, and you see the boss and Sana is in the room, you can't believe what is happening.

The girl that just shyly rejected to be your girlfriend is fucking just hours ago is now fucking by another man.

I think about how things must have sounded coming from my office. This is just how Sana is I think to myself. I leave Sana a note “hope you had fun with him.” And leave

You turn around to leave as you hear Sana is moaning louder, you remember what she tells you before she agrees to transfer the team, 'Maybe I can try his dick too.' You shake your head, leaving with a little sadness.

When you arrive home, Jihyo has left already, only the sisters are staying at home. You causally cook the dinner for them and wanna rest earlier today, you leave them in the living room and back to your room.

Your mind is occupied by Sana fucking by that old man, you can't sleep due to frustration.

You just keep rolling on the bed, and you don't notice that the sisters have climbed on your bed.

At some point, I do notice. “Really you two? You can’t sleep in your bed?” I sigh before bringing them into a hug, and kissing their forehead. “You two are my cuddle buddies for tonight.”

'Don't pretend you don't want to sleep with two young lady every night.' Chaeyoung says.

'Oppa, I think we are going to sleep with you every night, although Jihyo eooni is not here.' Dahyun says.

'But you sure you are going to sleep already?' Chaeyoung's hand go down to your crotch and start jerking you, meanwhile Dahyun starts to remove your clothes.

“I hope you two know Mina might be coming in the morning, so sleeping in my bed might be a problem. Oh, and do you two even have any pills? You had to borrow from Jihyo least time.”

'This isn't a problem, she isn't your girlfriend, she has no right to stop me.' Chaeyoung feels you are hard enough and try to ride you.

'And you are going to cum all of it in your sisters? Such a responsible brother. Ah!' Chaeyoung moans instantly after you entered her.

'Don't worry, Oppa. Jihyo eooni has left the pills for us. You can feel free to cum in us.' Dahyun blushes and she start kissing you.

I grab onto Chae’s waist and slam her down onto my cock, “Watch your tongue, Chae. That doesn’t mean I want her to walk in and see you two like that.” I turn to Dahyun and start kissing her neck, getting her to move slightly so I can suck on her tits.

'Ha... I don't think she will come ahh... She didn't come this morning either.' Chaeyoung rides you fiercely while her hands start to play your nipples.

'I may leave, but only after your bag is empty. Ah...' Chaeyoung's walls are pressing you harder, and you cock is throbbing also. You feel you are reaching orgasm so you suck harder.

'Cum... Cum in me Oppa!'

'Ahh! Ahhh!'

'Ummmm...'

Three of you moan together as you reach the orgasm at the same time.

Three of you fucking all night and the lust is burning inside the room, although Jihyo is not here, three of you are having more fun, you three know exactly what other needs as you three are living together for too long, you know what they want when they take the move.

You can finally fall asleep after the sisters cooperate to drain you.

'Can you please stay just a little longer, until 12? please?'

'Sana?'

'Liar!'

'No, Sana...'

'I... I don't wanna be your girlfriend.'

'Ahh... Faster...'

'No, Sana! Don’t do this!'

You wake up from the dream and you find you are sucking Dahyun's nipple throughout the night.

'Umm... Oppa...' Dahyun is moaning in her dream and keep hug you tightly so you can't leave her arms.'

I wiggle myself free and head to the kitchen for a glass of water, checking the time before I decide if I should go back to sleep.

You check the time and the sun has rise already, as you are too sweaty from the nightmare, you decided to take a shower.

Once you finish, you prepare breakfast for the sisters and Mina and check on your phone.

Momo and Sana have texted you.

'Darling, remember we are going out tonight! When will you finish work today🥰🥰' From Momo.

'I guess you have seen what happened yesterday. If you still want to meet me, come to my house, I am on leave for the rest of the week.'

I send a simple message to Sana, “It’ll have to be another day, today is a busy day.” Following that, I send a message to Momo telling her the time I would leave work. “We’re going to do some bowling, I think it’s a nice change of pace.” I go and tell Dahyun and Chae that I’ll be coming home late today.

You leave a note to tell them you are backing late tonight, and head to office as Mina is not coming again.

Mina asks you immediately when you arrive, I heard you fix Sana already, that quick?' You confused and back to your room after saying good morning.

You find a note left on your desk by Sana, 'If You can't make the decision, then I will do it, you are not owing me anything more. We are just some casual fuck buddies and we are going to end it now, I am just a slut that wanna try every dick on earth, and I am bored of you now, that old man fucked me good and I don't need your cock anymore, I will leave it for Mina. Promise me, treat her better.'

I just shake my head and say to myself, “That girl is so much trouble.” I go back out to Mina’s desk and tell her to call over Sana from the other team. Explaining to her that I went over to the other team after Sana didn’t respond to my message and that I found her fucking the old man. I give Mina the note as proof.

'She is not here for this week.' Mina shakes her head.

'So does it mean she gives up on you, and I am the only one with you now?' Mina stands up and hugs you.

'What? Feeling hurt that Sana leaves you?' See you are not responding her, Mina asks.

“Not really, Sana’s always been a bit troublesome. But I just get the feeling she’s going to be getting herself into trouble.” I sigh and sit on Mina’s desk with her on my lap. I look around making sure no one is around before giving her a quick kiss. “But at least here, you are the only one.”

'Sana is forcing you to leave her for me.' Mina sighs.

'I really do not understand, you two already hooked up for so long, and it's a fact that cannot be changed. Why would she still do that? I know she does that for me, but it's just unnecessary.' Mina lays her head on your shoulder.

'I don't know should I thank her or not.'

'Ah!' Mina leaves your arms immediately and use the document to hide her red face while she sees Tzuyu walking by.

I continue the conversation, “I’ll talk to her tomorrow after work. I’d do it today but I have some important plans already.” I pay no attention to Tzuyu.

You ignore Tzuyu but she still come around, 'Sorry for stopping you to flirt with your secretary, but I have something on work that need to report to you.'

You tell her to wait you at your room, you kiss Mina to tell her you will handle it.

After Tzuyu presented her work, you found that Tzuyu is not just a girl with beauty, she has some good abilities at work, its already quite good as an intern.

'After the Business things, I heard something about Sana, my old boss fucked her already, do you know?'

“Yeah, I know. I’m going to talk to her later. Anyways, great work Tzuyu; you can go now.” I motion to the door.

'So, am I the only one that can leave your room safely?' Tzuyu turns back and smirks when she approaches the door.

'Don't worry, I am not teasing you right now.' Tzuyu sees your reaction and says.

'It would be fun if Sana is back and we three having fun like last time. I wonder what you will do after your slut are using by others.'

I mean one already is... you. You said you have a few people so that makes you a bit of a slut, doesn’t it?” I retort.

Tzuyu closes the door again, 'No, you are wrong, the difference is that you are using Sana, while I am using other men. You could say I own some of them as slut while I am being a slut.'

'But you are different from them.' She says. 'I am really surprised that you could hold on that long, maybe because you have a pretty secretary that would help you when you are thinking of me? Oh, and your girlfriend Chaeyoung too, who is more fuckable, Mina or Chaeyoung?'

"Get out Tzuyu." I go and open the door again.

'Yes, boss.' Tzuyu smiles and catches your crotch before she leaves your room. You back to your seat and looking at the notes that Sana leaves you.

'Casual fuck buddies?' You are not sure why Sana will act like this if she defines the relationship as casual fuck buddies, is she jealous of Mina? But you don't want her to fuck with others.

I'll just have to deal with that later. I'll finish the workday, and ask Mina if she needs a ride home.

Mina rejects you again just like yesterday, it seems Mina is treating you warmer compare when she angry with you, but still far from the beginning, when she fully attached to you.

'Umm, Mina, how about the Morning alarm, it seems you are not coming these days.' You also ask about the Morning alarm, you miss her warm mouth and how she wakes you up at the Morning, you also miss the time that she acts cute when you two are having breakfast.

'I suppose that it isn't part of a secretary's work?' Mina smirks 'Do you want me to come?'

You nearly immediately answer yes, but you then think about how much fun you are having with the sisters every night now, if Mina comes to wake you up, you may not be able to fuck them at night again. Sucking their nipples when you are sleeping is also a good pleasure that makes you sleep better.

"I'd like for you to come, at least so we could eat breakfast together. Maybe talk about things so I can get to know you better. It's up to you though." I say willing to give those things up in order to try and fix things with Mina.

'I will think about it, boss.' Mina teases you and still not answering will she comes tomorrow.

You can do nothing but let her go, you then head to Momo's home, ready for tonight's date.

#minasaiyatis #twice smut #sana smut #mina smut #dahyun smut #chaeyoung smut #tzuyu smut #twice sana #twice mina #twice dahyun #twice chaeyoung #twice tzuyu #twice imagines #kpop smut #girl group smut #female idol smut

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mean-scarlet-deceiver · 2 years

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*goes on anon so u dont hate me* .Edward The Really Useful Engine?

Nonny. Why.

Why.

You musta known this was like lobbing a grenade in my inbox, and you must be looking forward to a blithering rant.

Well, I am gonna give you everything you want.

Welcome to the absolute worst fucking episode of what is otherwise, for the standard-gauge boys at least, a perfectly respectable season.

Welcome to clearly-written-by-committee hell.

Welcome to EtRUE.

Warning, in case you haven't already guessed: I am going to continue to indulge in an absolutely unnecessary amount of swearing.

1. This redo of Edward's theme is so sad. We're 10 seconds in and I'm already depressed. The familiar melody tells my dopamine receptors to get ready for action!

But then there's no joy. Dopamine remains unproduced. This muddy, limping rendition actually makes my houseplants start to droop and wither and my dogs start to sigh.

2. Okay, one positive—the bit where we see James scowling and then at the end of the train a smiling Edward pushing from behind and wryly eying the camera as if to say "yeahhhh... he's in one of his Moods..." is actually pretty funny.

It's a sheet of tissue paper in the coming tsunami of awful, but hey. I'm a harsh grader. But I'm fair.

3. WHY. WHY. WHY ARE WE DOING ANOTHER FUCKING STORY ABOUT EVERYONE WRITING OFF EDWARD BECAUSE HE'S OLD.

WE'VE DONE THIS. WE'VE DONE THIS SO WELL THAT NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO MATCH 'OLD IRON' OR 'EXPLOIT' EVER AGAIN. THERE IS NO WAY TO WIN THIS GAME EVEN IF YOU ARE A COMPETENT WRITER.

WHICH CLEARLY WHOEVER THE HELL SIGNED OFF ON THIS SCRIPT WASN'T.

4. But #3 isn't even the worst point. If you needed that plot, if you really needed it... it could still work. You could have newbies to the island raise this issue again... if you really want to. You could have waited until next season, when the TVS starts adding (gasp!) BR Standards to the fleet. You could have brought back some of those diesel models that you've been underusing so criminally and actually done something with them.

What they DID do is to give this role of "hahaha, let's Mean Girls edward for the lolz" to... the fucking Big Three.

Guys, the Big Three can be stupid but they're not this stupid. They are not gonna set themselves up for yet another bloody round of Hand Edward a Chance to Humiliate Us Again on a Silver Platter.

And even if they WERE, this is just... sad. Even if we ignore RWS, even if we stipulate that TVS exists in one of those weird universes where time pretty much stands still, nevertheless... at some point if you're going to act like the cast are friends you have to! actually! LET THEM ALL BE FRIENDS!! Like, roasting each other is one thing, hell even complaining right in his earshot that your friend got the bloody special everyone wanted and can't even get it started is one thing, Vitriolic Best Buds is a whole tvtropes page, but essentially saying 'omg send him to the bloody scrapyard already,' fuck my life, CAN THE WRITERS NOT SEE HOW THIS IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CATEGORY?

In fact even by the point of 'Exploit' the milder version of this trope was rather tired but we quite rightly don't even notice because that story slapped. Which (spoiler alert) this one doesn't. But the point here is that in the RWS the big three notably, after the 'Exploit,' never go down this road again. They found new bloody targets, like diesels and even (and this is hilarious) Thomas. I can understand why TVS couldn't really use the amazing content of "the big engines start making cracks about how old Thomas is" but seriously. This is just criminally unfair characterisation to the three of them on multiple levels.

Especially Gordon. In this season he's already been designated as the Stupid Ass rather too often even for him... but this is where it clearly goes over the top.

...

YES HE BLOODY WELL DOES??????????????????????

6. Okay, fine. This is not a railway documentary I'm watching. Moving on.

But it is supposed to be an ensemble series.

So let's go back to that bit of dialogue, shall we? See if you can spot yet another characterisation problem here:

Gordon: Edward is a useless old steampot. He should be retired. Percy: But he doesn't have tyres???? Thomas: *laughing* RE-tired, Percy! 'Retired' means 'taken out of service.'

The idea that Gordon could be having a go at Edward and Thomas is just chillin', kicking his wheels and contentedly giving vocabulary lessons, beggars belief.

The source for this ep is not a magazine story. Even Andrew Brenner (derogatory) did this better, knowing that Thomas's reaction in this scenario would be to clap back at Gordon and immediately start thinking of ways to pay him out.

But here Thomas is just vibing.

(I hate to smear his great name, but sadly the writer credit for this episode is in fact David Mitton.

As said, I suspect the execs, realizing they had a "main character" who'd not actually been an MC in an episode for four seasons, got too involved in this script.)

6. While Thomas is off in la-la land, Percy takes this not-very-quiet whispering campaign against Edward to heart and frets about it to the point where his driver asks what's wrong. Then the driver goes to the Fat Controller and we have yet another WTF moment.

But before we get there, a note about this bit. Percy's concern for Edward is nice. They came so. close. to doing a good here.

Remember when Edward coached Percy on what a deputation was? And how (hilariously) the big engines then strong-armed Percy into (gasp) talking to the Fat Controller about their concerns?

I could have forgiven everything about this episode if they had been smart enough to have Percy decide to present himself to the Fat Controller as a depot-station and to ask that something be done. That would have been such a smart genuinely heartwarming callback.

But we don't do "smart" or "genuinely heartwarming" this episode. Also, we don't do much of "letting the engines have any actual agency" during this entire season.

So fuck us, I guess.

7. The Fat Controller's reaction to hearing that the big engines are talking shit about Edward is almost as unbelievable as Thomas's. "I shall attend to the matter immediately!"

... You will?

The engines shit-talk each other constantly and he's never once intervened. He's concerned about confusion and delay—he's never cared much about their manners towards each other.

But Jobes, it's Edward who never says a truly mean word, this is a clear-cut case of bullying.

So???? This isn't new!!!!!! Big engines have been running down Edward for the entire franchise so far!!!!! As I complained above!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, but fine. I can accept some explanations here. Maybe no one usually brings this stuff to his attention. Or maybe he's as sick of the "mwahaha Edward is so old and weak" trope as I am and he just snapped and decided he never wanted to have to deal with this shit ever again?

Fine.

So, what would a sane, normal man do? He could just go and scold the big engines, who adorably tend to turn into blushing little kittens when this dude who is one-sixth their height wags a finger at them. If that doesn't suffice, he could stick Gordon on banking for a while? Or just lock them in a shed with a projector showing 'Old Iron' on repeat for as many days as it takes for them to remember that their complaints are fucking idiotic?

No. He decides to show the big engines that they should stop complaining about their colleagues' services by... replacing Edward with Duck.

What. The actual. Hell.

8. Unsurprisingly, when the big engines hear this, they seem to feel themselves utterly vindicated. Edward has been replaced on banking, and by a significantly stronger engine.

Yeah, Topham. That'll show 'em.

9. As an intermission before the (in)glorious climax to this growing dumpster fire of a plot, FC sends Edward to... show Stepney how to run his branch line.

Yes, you read that right.

FC has finally acquired (so it seems?????) one engine who in fact has loads more experience than Edward and he's like "you know what, you should go show this youngster the ropes. i mean, you know those Terriers, famously incompetent at everything."

I. am going. to start. THROWING THINGS.

10. The scene where FC actually gives Edward these orders is utterly unnecessary. This lil' exchange could all have been paraphrased by the narrator, freeing up valuable and much-lacking screentime for the triumphant climax. However, I suppose it DID give Edward a chance to... say a line.

The titular character gets two lines in "his" entire episode.

Because this plot is more convoluted than the footpaths of Cairo. That's why.

So I take that back. The scene wasn't unnecessary. The story would have felt really stupid if Edward hadn't even properly appeared until the end...

Oh wait. The story feels really stupid anyway.

To give credit where credit is due, at least Edward is perfectly in-character. (Meaning he's damn near the only one in this episode who is.)

11. Here, meditate for a moment on a happier world where instead of this shitty story we instead got an episode about Edward and Stepney's time working together:

Would it have been a very quaint, low-stakes episode? Probably revolving around a slightly grumpy passenger or perhaps a sweet mummy bird making a nest in a coach's brakepipe or something else idyllic-ly Christopher Awdry-esque?

Yeah.

But it would have been wholesome and fresh and and it could not have possibly have been stupider than the episode we actually got.

This is actually the bit that makes me think that Mitton's original script got chopped up by a production committee acting like hacksaw-crazy mad doctors. Because it makes me wonder if that Mitton's primary goal in this whole episode was to establish that Stepney now has a branch line firmly on the Fat Controller's railway. It's unclear whether it is 'the bluebell line' and he's just retconning it to be part of the same railway as the rest of the cast or whether he's just quietly transferred Stepney so that they no longer need excuses to keep bringing him back.

Anyway I think this literally the most interesting aspect: just this random interlude where Mitton is establishing some Lore that he clearly wanted to use in future stories.

Too bad we never got them, and instead future writers decided to ignore the opening to use a lot more of Stepney in favor of just rewriting Big Engines Talking Shit About Eddie AGAIN.

12. In a very convenient scene, Duck is conveniently overwhelmed by the trucks as a convenient way to try to force the plot to move forward again.

In a better episode I would accept that Sometimes Things Just Happen, but I'm not feeling too tolerant after the last three minutes of torment.

DUCK? THE TRUCKS GETTING THE BETTER OF DUCK?

SINCE?

BLOODY?

WHEN?

Above: an engine who is about to sue David Mitton for libel

13. I will admit, I legitimately enjoy the trucks' taunting song. Is it incredibly stupid?

🎶🎶🎶 DUCK SHOULD PLAY WITH OTHER DUCKS COZ HE'S NO GOOD AT PULLING TRUCKS! 😆😆😆

Yes.

But it is the trucks, so their 2 seconds in the limelight at least feel 100% on-point.

14. Maybe when Gordon starts pushing Duck's train we'll get a call-back to 'Double Header' ("Get on, you!!!!")?

No?

It just feels like Gordon would have been cursing Duck out around now.

#LetGordonSayBother

15. Soooooo, for some reason... Edward is available to help? Instead of being on Stepney's branch?? He's just chilling at Wellsworth??? What, having a nap while Duck did his work????

*beat*

Sure. Fine...

Again giving credit where credit is due, at least when Edward is called to help get two stranded trains started again, we don't have to do any of the HiT/early!Brennaisance bullshit song-and-dance about 'ohhhhhhhh, but 😢 i don't know 🥺 if i'm 👉👈 strong enough to do that.. 😢. 😢'

Like I said, I will freely own Edward is 100% in-character throughout this terrible viewing experience. Classic RWS stuff ("I'll come and try!")

Too bad that, despite the title, he's essentially an ascended extra.

16. Okay, thus far the episode was just kind of a meandering mess of odd ideas. In the final minute here, it runs out of the road of Mediocre and vrooms over the cliff of Painfully Bad.

First of all, the big climax is a nothingburger, cinematically speaking. It's been implied heavily that this is difficult, but it's not shown.

One of the weaknesses throughout this season has been that—I don't know how to describe it—the models all seem to be in too short a gear? They start and they stop soooooo quickly that they seem like toys rather than engines. Get the fuck out of my face with But, hur dur dur, they ARE— No. A combination of taking the movements to and from a stop slowly, as well as great chuffing and braking sound effects, used to give these moments a verisimilitude that is sorely lacking here. It's been a problem throughout Season 6, and it becomes egregious in rescue scenes. It made Douglas rescuing Donald anti-climactic. And it makes this anticlimactic too.

Look at some of the great parallel scenes in seasons past. Henry's wheels locked up as Thomas pushes with all his might. Henry's wheelslip when he starts the Flying Kipper. Gordon's difficulty and heavy chuffing in rescuing Thomas from the mine.

Here Edward just ✨ l'arrives✨ and, quicker than you can say "c'mon, lads, let's get on with it!" he's already got "the strange train" moving.

I have a terrible suspicion that someone thought that the effortlessness would make the moment more impressive?

I have an equally terrible suspicion that someone got lazy and thought that they could make the scene Cool by all the rubbish surrounding it instead of by the moment itself?

17. Which brings us to All the Rubbish Surrounding It.

I think the idea for the end of this was meant to be slap Gordon around with a good ol'-fashioned Humiliation Conga Line. Which, legit. Trust me, after the season he's had, he's earned one and so have we.

But the writers didn't understand how to pull one off. It's supposed to be funny.

They went in for "earnest and preachy" instead... very different thing.

I cringed so fucking hard.

Give me "The Fat Controller pointed angrily at the clock" anyday.

(Speaking of whom, hope he palmed Stevie here a tenner after that lil' moment, as was surely pre-arranged...)

18.

Real True Transcription of Me Hissing at the Television:

Show???... don't tell??...

Show! Don't Tell!

SHOW!

DON'T!

TELL!!!

They're kids, David. Your target viewers are kids. This doesn't mean they're categorically idiots.

19. Okay, but at least they got the whole excessively morality-tale thing out of their system...

Fuckin' 'ell!

20.

It's a bad sign when a fucking internet parody author, who thought it would be a laugh to make a fanfic out of the series but have a lot more jokes about cigarettes, wee, and railway sex, was able to make the "apology scene" scene 10000% more emotionally compelling than it went down in canon.

Without even changing a word of the (shitty, shitty) dialogue.

But here we are, not in the warmth of Fandomland, but in cold hard reality. Yes, yes. We get it. Edward is ssooo self-effacing. Certainly he would never needle Gordon the Big Eng...

... oh. Wait.

21. Well, at least it's over. They can't possibly kick us in the 'nads again in the last 4 seconds—

The WHAT??

Wait.

THE PLAN??????

What a mind-screw right before we cut to the theme song, y'all. A reasonable viewer would have interpreted STH's "plan" as just... sending Edward somewhere else. A shitty plan, but at least not an actual plothole.

You mean to tell me, narrator, that the whole "Edward proved he was more reliable than Duck (DUCK!!!!!??????)" bit was according to STH's plan?

That. makes. no. bloody. sense!!!

STH figured the rigors of the job would make Duck stall out?

First of all, it seems shitty to set up Duck (totally fucking innocent in all this) as a goat.

But also this 'plan' is as unrealistic as it was unkind.

DUCK?

THE FUCKING GWR 5700??

NOTABLY WITH THIRTY YEARS' LESS WEAR AND A GOOD 10,000 LBF ON EDWARD????

I DON'T UNDERSTAND???????

I get Edward is Ol' Reliable himself, but the notion that if you sub in Duck sooner or later the engines will beg you for Edward back to help them is absolutely absurd.

At this point, I stomp furiously on this trashcan of an episode and then kick the resulting tin pancake as hard as I can. Hopefully it will get burned up in the ozone layer and never return to darken the face of this earth again.

22. Well, at least the TVS got it out of their system, promised that the conflict of Doubting Edward would be laid to rest, and will surely find new and better material for #2 going forwar—

C'MONNNNNN!!!!

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taleasnewastime · 1 year

Note

do you read books like beach read and ACOTAR? if yes, what was the best book (in your opinion) that you've read last year? your fav genre? #1 book bf? (u could ignore these questions btw.) i myself am a fellow reader too, and that's why I was so (pleasantly) surprised that beach read and feyre came up in your newly posted yoongi fic ( it was so goodddd, and gosh was yoongi the most adorable and patient and understanding, loved him and the story so much). anyways, this is just a long-winded way of me saying 'hi i happened read the books u read and liked them' lmao. have a nice day.

I LOVE this ask! Honestly I could talk for hours about books, so I apologise for the ramble that’s about to happen.

Yes I have read ACOTAR (#2 is the best) and I have read Beach Read - it’s the only romance book on my favourites list.

Best book I read last year? Gah I read so many good ones. I read Beartown by Fredrik Backman which was sad but great, I also loved Once Upon A Broken Heart (haven’t picked up book 2 yet because I’ve heard book 3 comes out in Sept and I hate waiting to read series, just want to read all at once) but my favourite book of the year was possibly Hail Project Mary by Andy Weir because I had no idea what it was about and it was so clever and unexpected and funny but also sad and just all the emotions.

Generally I mostly read romance books, though they actually rarely make it to my top books. But they’re just so easy and soft and a great escape from the world. Fave book bf is hard. I mean everyone loves Rhysand, right? Jacks from Once Upon A Broken Heart is also great, though I don’t know what happens to him after book 1 … he may turn out to be a dick. I also love all of the men Emily Henry writes because they feel realistic with flaws and faults, but still dreamy.

I would link my Goodreads profile but I follow friends on there and don’t know how I feel about it … I could be persuaded though …

Tell me the answers of these questions for you too!! I honestly love it and am always up for book talk. What’s your favourite book? What type of books and tropes do you gravitate to? What’s your most anticipated book you’ve not read yet?

#thanks for reading my writing too #happy to know you enjoyed #ask

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rafesslxt · 1 month

Text

❝ MATTHEO RIDDLE. ❞

updatet: 29 / April / 2024

Requests are OPEN

smut: 🌶 fluff: ☁️ angst: 🌧 funny: ☀️

wrong tie ⎥words: 693 ⎥☁️☀️

y/n noticed a little too late what tie she is wearing.. explains the dirty looks her house gave her

love potion ⎥ words: 1067 ⎥☁️☀️

y/n thought she would smell something different while making Amortentia

shower head⎥part 1 ⎥part 2 ⎥part 3

part 1 - you thought you were alone in the bathroom when your wild thoughts took over you but you suddenly hear a second voice.. and its not inside your head. ⎥🌶 - words: 2,8k

part 2 - after you and mattheo had some fun in the shower, you two can‘t stop thinking about each other and that night. But who gives in first to sin again after a little jealousy? ⎥🌶☁️ - words: 5,1k

lust potion ⎥part 1 ⎥part 2

part 1 - you‘re in a boring relationship with cedric diggory and after his enemy mattheo hits a few nerves with his words, he gives you a potion. what you didn‘t know is that it was a sex and lust potion ⎥🌶 - words: 3,2k

R U High Mine? ⎥words: 2,1k⎥🌶 ☀️

you come back from the holiday's with some weed for you and the boys. When you and Mattheo smoke while showing him some songs, it get's a little heated between the two of you. - requested

Neglected | words: 1,7k | 🌶️☀️

Theodore completly ignores you and doesnt take it serious that you miss him while he flirts with another girl at a party.. so his best friend has to help you filling up that hole inside your … chest.

Vibrations ⎥words: 357⎥🌶☀️

Requested: Hi i read ur storys everytime but i finally wanted to do a request im sorry if u have done it before. Can it be about Mattheo finding Y/n toys. thx.

Vibrations on you ⎥words: 369⎥🌶

requested: Pls I love your work. I read the ine where Mattheo finds readers toys and akeksjsjs HOW aboit reader uses those said toys on HIM

Bad student ⎥words: 2,4k⎥🌶

Professor Riddle and you have a special agreement. - requested: SUPP IM BACK WITH ANOTHER REQUEST!! How about professor riddle marks ur work but u didn't get good grades so he punishes u? xoxo mattheosslut22

Doberman ⎥words: 806⎥☁️☀️

You and pansy go get some errands with hagrid in a store and on your way you find something really cute you wanna buy. When you come back with it, Mattheo isn‘t that convinced like the rest is.

Lollipop | words: will count later | ☁️☀️( a hint of 🌶️)

Mattheo always carrys something sweet with him for you

imagine that ⎥words: 204⎥☁️🌧☀️🌶

how they get turned on - Slytherin boys ⎥words: 918⎥🌶

Enemy‘s sister | words: 78 | ☁️☀️

Harry‘s sister | words: 29 | ☀️

spanked ⎥words: 194 ⎥🌶 (?idk)

Streetflower | words: 46 | ☁️

friends on vacation ⎥part 1 ⎥part 2

you and your friends go on vacation before you start your last year at hogwarts. Let‘s just say it get‘s interesting between you and your best friend Mattheo. ⎥🌶☁️☀️ - words: 3,6k

If you are a minor, please do not read my work that is marked as spicy/smutty. If you do, you do it on your own risk. You're welcome to read my other work, thank you. 💚

Please be nice, I'm doing this for fun + my first language is not english. I'm more than happy to learn from mistakes ( you can always tell me If you see some ) but be nice about it.

If you want to reblog or share my work on a different platform please ask me before you do. Also If you copy my work here on Tumblr without reblogging. Thanks 🫶🏻

Well thank you all for every kind of support, no matter If it's a like, comment, reblog or follow. Hope you have/had fun reading! 💚

My main Masterlist

some dividers are from @cafekitsune

xox sarah <3

#mattheo riddle #slytherin boys #slytherin imagine #slytherin smut #harry potter imagine #harry potter masterlist #mattheo riddle fluff #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle smut #mattheo riddle masterlist #mattheo riddle drabbles #mattheo riddle blurb #mattheo riddle oneshot #mattheo riddle headcanon #mattheo riddle fanfic #mattheo riddle series

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the-somwthing · 3 months

Text

Ranking the Life Series Winners based on how much I would actually recommend watching their POV for the season, more than just “because they won so you get to see how it ends”

1. 3rd Life Grian

2. Double Life Pearl

3. Secret Life Scar

4. Limited Life Martyn

5. Last Life Scott

1. 3rd Life Grian - this POV is literally so good. 3L has a bit of a problem with certain players feeling more like side characters or main characters, but ignoring the downsides of that, Grian was totally the main character, so his POV is like, mandatory to fully enjoy 3L. Whenever I want to introduce someone to the life series it is SO HARD to not recommend Grian as a starting POV cuz unfortunately that kind of gives away that he wins but it shouldn’t! I recommend him cuz his story got me hooked into the series even before it ended! I would’ve recommended his POV no matter if he won or not! It’s thanks to his POV that I’m into the series at all!!! (Tho I swapped to Scar as my main after episode 1. Still the same lol.)

2. Double Life Pearl - Double Life is a tough season for those who don’t want to watch too many episodes, because I feel like only second to Secret Life, it’s one of the most “you’ll want to see every POV” seasons out there. But if you simply must watch only one POV, the winner is a great choice, even aside from seeing the end. She had a very great plot and her being isolated from everyone kind of had a silly side effect of seeing what everyone else was up to. She pretty much defined the season.

3. Secret Life Scar - Similar to above! The way the tasks affected his story was amazing. Plus his finale covered almost every important event that happened during it haha. Secret Life was a very funny season and I think Scar’s POV was one of the funniest, while also giving you angst and drama!

4. Limited Life Martyn - It pains me to put this so low, it’s just the truth is they’re all pretty good! It’s hard for the winner to have a bad POV lol. So what I’m trying to say is, Martyn’s POV of LimL is ABSOLUTELY worth watching. The fun lore bits, the tension, it’s fantastic. I just don’t think it tops those other 3 POVs is all. Limited Life was kind of all over the place (I love it don’t get me wrong) so it’s kind of hard to pick a best POV anyway.

5. Last Life Scott - Honestly this one is Last place (ha) because Last Life had a million great plots and Scott was not a huge part of many of them. Like if I were to recommend a POV to someone ignoring who wins (which I do all the time lol if u know me I have beef with LL finale) I would go through pretty much every alliance before reaching Scott and Pearl, no offense to them as their POV is good, I just like the others more. But it’s still a great POV and I’m not not recommending it. It’s still a POV you’d definitely have to watch at some point, but I feel if you only watched it you wouldn’t enjoy Last Life the way others do.

#trafficblr #life series #secret life spoilers #limited life spoilers #double life spoilers #last life spoilers #3rd life spoilers

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sheep-sorbet · 1 year

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meep! did you sign up for the twewy yuletide exchange? if not, pls ignore the rest of this message. if you did, i had two questions about your prompt. [1] who do you count in the og gang? [2] any hc for the og gang or nagisho? go as hog wild and detailed if you want, esp on how they interact w/ each other? or if you have any Gender Thoughts™. anyway pls ignore this if u want, just thought i would ask since u seem like a rad person and deserve good rad things for the holidays (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

meep meep!!! i did sign up, yeah! tysm for the kind words { @｀ꈊ´@ } 💙

to answer your questions: when I say "OG gang", I mean the main 5 from the first game! Neku, Shiki, Beat, Rhyme, and Joshua. I suppose Hanekoma could be included in that list too, since he's pretty relevant to the story and the other 5, but the age difference + his role in the story makes him more of a narrator imo than a part of the main characters' 'gang' so to speak, if that makes any sense? But his inclusion wouldn't be unwelcomed because I love him. Best dad.

I also wouldn't really count any of the reapers despite their relevance and prevalence, since they don't really hang out with Neku and his friends. And when I wrote that, I wasn't really thinking of Eri since her actual role in the story is pretty small, and restricted to Shiki; But her inclusion would be welcomed, honestly I wish we got to see more of her in the games! So I guess tl;dr, I meant Neku, Shiki, Beat, Rhyme, and Joshua, since they're the main characters in the first game. But the inclusion of Eri, Hanekoma, or both would also be great (as long as it stays platonic between Hanekoma and the rest of the gang, of course!) since they both mean a lot to different members of the gang. But also, don't feel pressured to include everyone! Any combination of characters from the OG gang would be delightful.

As for headcanons and gender thoughts™, HMMM well.... Idk how popular of an idea this is, but i headcanon Beat and Rhyme as both being trans. Specifically, that Beat's a trans guy whose want to transition was just another thing his parents threw back in his face (telling him that he should be "more like his sister" wasn't just about his grades or attitude, basically :c )

For Rhyme, I hc her as some sort of genderqueer or nonbinary, maybe agender? But that she never really came out to her parents because she saw how they treated Beat and didn't think it was worth it, especially because she doesn't dislike being referred to as a girl or with she/her pronouns, it's just not the 'whole picture' for her. Yknow those memes about how Rhyme "ate [her] gender"? That's basically my gender thoughts about Rhyme abfksjg. She likes being called a girl and using she/her pronouns, but it's ultimately of little consequence to her. To her, their parents' insistence that a girl is all she should be is pretty uncomfortable. Rhyme is just Rhyme. And she doesn't really care about society's ideal of what a girl should be, she's always presented more "tomboyish" and likes it that way.

As for the rest of them, hmmmmm. I'm always shooting my transgenderification beams at everyone bsnakdjldg but I don't have any specific headcanons for anyone else? Although, I think trans Shiki would be really cool too, and it would tie into her whole thing about how she didn't really like herself or her body, and wanted to be "more like Eri". It makes her initial character arc even more compelling :3

Also actually now that I'm thinking about it I Do think Fret is a closet genderqueer kid ngl. His adoration for Kanon seems like it's half crush, half gender envy to me shkdjfkh. Maybe that's not relevant but I'm saying it anyways

AS FOR NAGISHO....god i wish it was canon i think it'd be SO funny. There was so much potential there and they almost did something with it, but it ultimately ended up being nothing but a running joke. But it'd be even MORE funny if they did end up together. I absolutely love the idea that Nagi is head over heels for this guy because he happens to look like a video game character she likes, and then Sho just....catches feelings back, completely despite himself. She's The Prettiest Girl He's Ever Seen And He Hates It. Her Combat Skills And Knowledge Of Math Impresses Him And He Hates That A Little Less.

I don't think it'd be a very "serious" relationship, in the sense that I don't think they take themselves or each other that seriously. Sho takes his Goals seriously, and is very assured of his own awesomeness, and Nagi takes her Blorbos and her Games seriously; but neither of them have any sense to me of being the kind of person to take an actual romantic relationship as seriously as most people do.

Like yeah, they're dating, and Sho probably crashes at her place to cuddle and mooch off her cup noodles (and complains the whole time about how they suck), but I don't imagine they care very much about the 'ideals' of a relationship. They hang out and play games, Nagi kicks his ass in smash bros and he excuses it as the game's calculations being bunk, he cuddles like a cat because he basically is one, they're both very content. I find this dynamic hilarious. I want them to cause chaos together.

He takes her to a convention and by the end of the day he's insulted a beloved voice actor and stolen several hundred dollars worth of rare merchandise, just so he can add it to his trash-art-heap. It's for a game Nagi thinks sucked so she doesn't care about the loss and thinks it's funny. Nagi forces him to dress up as the character he looks like and everyone at the con loses their minds over how good his cosplay is. Nagi gets tired of other people getting to oggle him and makes him take it off. She's not even jealous, she just hates how everyone ends up crowded around the both of them and sulks about how she should have seen this coming. They get pretzels at the mall, he leaves suddenly to handle some convoluted shit related to his goal to become composer, she has eaten all the pretzels by the time he gets back even though it took like 20 minutes. No she's not sorry. That's the kind of ship they are to me hdkshdksnfh

Also, I think Nagi would be really good at reading Sho's actual moods and he would absolutely hate that. If he's genuinely upset about something, she'd bully him into telling her what's wrong. It's like pulling teeth in a stinky back alley with no painkillers every single time.

ANYWAYS thank you for the ask and I'm sorry for all the rambling lol, I hope it wasn't too much or too confusing. I can't wait to find out who you are when the event is over so I can thank you more directly!! :3

#asks #answered #sheep speak #long post #SORRY LOL THIS GOT SO LONG AAHDJSHFKH #twewy #ntwewy #<- tagging in case someone has that blacklisted

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tarobytez · 3 years

Text

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant.

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist.

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is.

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”.

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me.

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.

Oh fucking boy.

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully.

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled.

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability.

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community.

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged.

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people.

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted.

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows.

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

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tubboslittlebee · 3 years

Note

So what if like sbi x reader (platonic ofc) like the reader is the youngest and they (sbi) accidentally makes reader feel bad (like taking a joke too far— maybe it happened during a recording/stream) and reader gets so sad and they're all like "I don't want to play anymore :(" And they don't notice it until the chat pointed it out?

I know it's long lmao ndicnsis but ;-; idk man, U can ignore it if ya want ヾ(＾-＾)ノ

Wanna be 🍓 anon...please?

oooo my first anon I'm so excited haha. Thank you for requesting <3

----------------------------------

𐐪𐑂 "we were just joking.."

request above!

character(s): cc!sbi x reader

warning(s): none?

a/n: I can't really think of a whole story so it's just a small drabble, I'm very sorry for that :(

It was Wilbur's late night chill stream, but somehow the whole sbi just shows up "Oh yeah chat, I almost forgot to mention, we are meeting up with Techno next week, which is very exciting!" The chat just goes wild when they heard the news. "Yeah!! All four of us will meet up! Isn't it amazing and cool and awesome?" Tommy said excitedly, "What? 'four of us'?" you're confused. There was just silence for a couple of minutes, "Oh yeah, y/n, sorry mate but you can't come to the meetup" "What? Why?" Why can't you come with them? You are part of the family after all. "You are too young y/n, what if people think we kidnapped you? We could be in so much trouble for that, which is not very good" Techno explain, even though the chat couldn't see him, they still know that he was smiling and joking because of how he sounds.

You noticed his attitude but weren't sure if he was joking or not, "Stop messing with me guys, I'm just 1 year younger than Tommy", "We're not y/n, what do you mean? Why should we be joking about such an important event? I mean, look at chat!" Tommy said slightly winking at his camera. The chat was playing around with you too which makes you even more concerned. "Oh okay then.." You said as the conversation goes on. You were very quiet all the way through the conversation but none of them notices, "Yea okay Tommy stop babbling for a second so I could read what the chat is saying, they just panicked for some reason". The chat is just spamming 'where's y/n?', 'Y/N IS QUIET',... "Oh shit, y/n I'm very sorry, it's just a joke, we were just messing around" "Oh no y/n", "Oh god, I told you not to do that" "Wait, they fell for it? BAHAHAHAHAHAHA I mean, I'm sorry y/n we shouldn't do that". "Never joke like that again, it's not funny" you were mad but their obliviousness just makes you smile.

#sora is super dumb #dream smp x you #dream smp x reader #sbi x reader #mcyt x reader

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kireimarkeu · 3 years

Text

retrouvailles; l.mk

THIS IS A REPOST!!!!

Summary: counting down the days until you finally see your long-distance boyfriend.

Mark is a jerk at one point. Also noticed how I put skype when they were calling through the phone and ft through laptop LOL

word count: 5.7k

Also lets pretend we can use spotify in korea ok

--Day 98

(10:33PM) Cutie: you idiot

(10:33PM) Cutie: answer my call!! You loserrrr

(10:34PM) You: omg give me a second

(10:35PM) You: ffs jshkdmj

(10:35PM) Cutie: omg what are you doing

(10:35PM) Cutie: why are you taking so long

(10:37PM) You: GIVE ME A SECOND

(10:37PM) You: im taking food

You plop onto your bed, placing the plate of grapes on the mattress, resulting in some to topple out of the bowl. You quickly pop one in your mouth before turning on your laptop.

Before you could even call Mark, he was already requesting a facetime with you. You immediately answered.

“Finally,” your boyfriend huffs when the call was finally connected.

You hum, your hands searching for more grapes that has dropped on your bed sheets, popping them in your mouth.

“What are you eating?” he asks.

“Grapes,” your voice came out muffled from chewing, but Mark understands.

“That’s what took you so long?” he frowns, “I can cut a watermelon in 5 seconds,”

“I didn’t ask,” you bite back.

Your boyfriend automatically raises his hand to flash his middle finger while you did the same back at him.

“What time is it there?” you ask him with raised eyebrows.

You were studying in Korea but because of the virus, you had to go back to Canada. You didn’t know how long you would be staying, but Mark had promised you that he would make it work.

“Um,” he looks at the clock that was a hanging next to him, “it’s 2:30PM here,” he answers, looking back at you, “It’s about 11 there, right?”

You nod.

“Don’t you have class tomorrow?” Mark asks.

Lucky for you, your classes has changed to the local timing in Canada. Meaning, you don’t need to stay up at ungodly hours for your classes.

“I think I can wake up tomorrow,”

“Do you want me to call you?”

“Please,” you pout.

Mark scowls jokingly at you, “the things I do for my girlfriend,”

You giggle innocently at your boyfriend, “I love you,” you make a heart with your hands, grinning at your laptop.

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolls his eyes.

--Day 90

“Babe, look up,” you call.

Mark looks up to see you holding your phone up, obviously filming him through the screen.

“What?”

He could hear you grinning from behind your phone.

“Smile,” you instruct.

He grins awkwardly while you let out a snort from behind the screen. You put your phone down, typing something before looking back up at your boyfriend.

“What did you do?”

You look up at him, biting back a smile— to which you failed, “go check Instagram,”

Mark immediately opens Instagram to see that you had posted something on your private Instagram. Only him and the members are following your private account since your relationship is still private.

He clicks on the bubble to see a video of him that you had recorded. When he smiles, his face morphed into a horse from of the filter you were using. Mark couldn’t help but chuckle at the funny effect.

“Okay, that’s kinda funny,” he admits.

He looks back up at you to see you holding your phone in front of your face again, probably trying another filter on him again.

“Is this another ugly filter, again?” whines your boyfriend.

You laugh, your phone not covering your face anymore, “it’s not!”

“Don’t lie,”

Your giggles got louder, “it’s not! I swear!”

“Fine,” he huffs. He straightens his back and stares at the camera, waiting for you to finish recording.

You put your phone down re-watching the video, chuckles leaving your lips.

“What filter did you use?”

“It’s on my insta, baby,”

He looks down on his phone again to see that you have posted another story. He immediately clicks on it to see it was an NCT filter.

‘Who is your NCT Bias?’ Was written on top of his head.

Mark waits for the filter to show the result. He grimaced when he got Jeno. He swipes up to reply to your story to send you a message.

markleeee99 replied to your story: ewww

--Day 87

(1:18PM) mwark: hello baby

(1:20PM) you: wht im having class rn

(1:20PM) mwark: so

(1:25PM) you: i have class??? go away loser

(1:25PM) mwark: :( I just wanna talk to my girlfriend tho :/

(1:27PM) you: later

(1:27PM) mwark: nooo

(1:33PM) you: omg youre an idol why are you so free

(1:34PM) you: go dance or rap or smth

(1:34PM) mwark: babyyyy

(1:35PM) you: im putting my phone on dnd

(1:35PM) mwark: nooo

(1:35PM) mwark: babe

(1:40PM) mwark: did you actually leave me D:

(1:40PM) mwark: ok whatev

(1:40PM) mwark: I was about to send you something but I guess I won’t now

(1:40PM) mwark: are you still ignoring me????

(1:41PM) mwark: omg babe I was jst joking I’ll send you some gifts

(1:41PM) mwark: booo u suck :(

--Day 81

This time, it was slightly different. Instead of your usual late-night calls through the computer, you had immediately skype him through your phone when you had received a package from Korea.

“You got me something?” you ask loudly when your boyfriend answered your call.

“Jeez, hello to you too, babe,” he rolls his eyes, “and yea, did it arrive?”

“What did you get me? And what type of shipping did you choose? It arrived so quickly,”

The box was pretty heavy, so you had to put your phone down to place the huge box on the counter before bringing your phone back into view.

“Express, I paid like extra,” Mark answers, eyeing you through the screen.

You click your tongue, opening the drawer to take out a knife, “stop wasting your money, you dumbass,”

Mark didn’t reply, instead he waits for you to open the package.

You let out a sigh, “what did you get me this time?”

You open the cardboard box, a navy-blue hoodie covering the top of it. You pull it out, looking at Mark who has a smile plastered on his face.

“Is this your hoodie?!” you squeal, putting it on yourself.

Your heart melt when the familiar scent fills your nostrils. It smells just like Mark.

“Canada is getting cold isn’t it? Keep yourself warm, baby,”

You lean over to take everything out from the box. Mark had given you his half-used cologne that he uses on a daily.

“I bought a new one just so I could give you mine,” he tells you, a playful smirk on his lips.

He had also packed some of your favourite Korean snacks, and some that you haven’t tried before. Along with some matching phone cases for the both of you.

“Now I feel bad I didn’t get anything for you,” you frown., pulling the hoodie over your head.

“Don’t be,” he reassures you, “being able to see you is already enough,”

You scrunch your nose in disgust, “cringey, Mark-ie,”

“Fuck you,” he chuckles, flashing his middle finger at you.

Your eyes widen when he cursed, “my mom’s home, you idiot!”

You laugh loudly when Mark’s eyes widen in surprise, both his hands covering his mouth.

“Y/N?” you hear your mom call from the living room, “who are you talking to?”

Before you could even reply, your mother was walking towards you.

“It’s Mark,” you answer as your mother got into frame to see Mark.

“Mark! It has been a while, how’s Korea?”

Your boyfriend greeted your mom politely, a grin plastered on his face. Your mom was about to reach for your phone to talk to Mark, but you frown and pull away.

“Noo, I wanna talk to Mark,”

You gathered the gifts Mark had given you in your arms before skipping up the stairs to your room, to spend the whole day (night for him) with him.

--Day 80

“Yo, Mark, there’s some food left outside, do you want it?” you heard Johnny ask from through the screen.

Mark turns to look at the intruder, “knock next time, dude,” groans Mark.

“Is that y/n?”

Johnny suddenly enters the frame with a gummy grin, waving enthusiastically at you.

“Hi Johnny, how are you?” you smile, waving back at the older boy.

Just when Johnny was about to get comfortable on Mark’s bed, your boyfriend let out string of whines, moving his phone until you could only see his cheeks.

“Ah, that’s enough,” your boyfriend says in annoyance, “y/n is tired, goodnight, baby.”

You couldn’t even reply because Mark had already ended the skype call.

You pout, opening your messenger to send a text to your boyfriend.

(7:35PM) You: heyyy why’d you end the call? ):

(7:36PM) Bubba: sorry

(7:36PM) Bubba: johnny was being annoying

(7:36PM) You: he wasn’t tho ):

(7:36PM) You: can we call again?

(7:38PM) Bubba: sorry angel

(7:38PM) Bubba: johnny wants me to go make music

(7:38PM) Bubba: later tonight?

(7:38PM) You: oky

(7:42PM) You: love u!

(7:42PM) Bubba: love u too

(7:42PM) Bubba: <3

--Day 76

You were in the middle of facetiming mark when your phone vibrates from a text. You raise your eyebrows, thinking it was Mark.

(12:11AM) Johnny: hey

(12:11AM) Johnny: I need to ask you something

(12:13AM) You: yeah?

(12:13AM) Johnny: is mark okay lately?

(12:13AM) You: he seems fine to me, why? Did something happen?

(12:14AM) Johnny: I don’t know if I should tell you about this

(12:14AM) Johnny: but

(12:14AM) Johnny: youre the only one who can probably help him

(12:14AM) You: help him with what?

You look up at your laptop to see that Mark’s eyes was still glued on his phone. Probably playing some games.

(12:17AM) Johnny: he hasn’t been eating lately

(12:19AM) Johnny: he doesn’t really tell us stuff anymore so I was wondering you would’ve known something?

(12:22AM) You: oh

(12:22AM) You: he hasn’t told me anything

(12:23AM) You: I’ll talk to him about it

(12:25AM) You: thanks johnny :)

“Hey,” you jump at your boyfriend’s voice. You snap your head to look at your boyfriend who was already staring at you with curious eyes. “What are you so busy with?”

You clear your throat, shaking your head, tossing your phone to the side.

“I wanna ask you something,” you say.

“Whats up?”

You scratch your head, unsure of how to put it into words without offending your boyfriend. You knew he hated being babied but you still want to care for him. He was your other half, after all.

“Have you been eating well lately?”

You could sense Mark was stunned by the random question. He looks away from your wary eyes.

“Who told you?”

“Mark—”

“It was Johnny wasn’t it?” he cuts you off in anger. “God damn it, this is why I don’t want you talking to my friends,”

Why was he making this such a big deal?

“Mark I was just asking a simple question, why are you acting this way?” you argued back.

He shakes his head, threading his fingers through his black hair stressfully.

“I need to go Y/N,” sighs your boyfriend, “Goodnight,”

“Mark—” you were too late. Mark had already ended the call.

A heavy sigh left your lips as you lied down on your bed.

You weren’t sure if you should text him or give him space. Should you apologize? Was it your fault for bringing it up?

After thinking for a while, you decided to send him a text.

(8:33PM) You: hi baby. I was just asking because I was worried about you. I know you hate it when I baby you, but I’m just looking out for you. I didn’t mean to bother you

(8:33PM) You: please don’t blame your friends for this.

(8:36PM) You: I’m sorry, okay?

(8:40PM) You: I just want you to eat healthily. I’m not there to take care of you and I just want you to be healthy.

(8:47PM) You: just text me whenever so we can talk this out

(8:57PM) You: goodnight, mark

--Day 75

(12:03PM) Lovey: hey

(12:03PM) Lovey: I was thinking and realised how selfish I acted towards you

(12:05PM) Lovey: I know you were just looking out for me and I was just wasn’t in the mood because of how stressful it has been

(12:05PM) Lovey: please don’t apologize. Its my fault

(12:15PM) You: why haven’t you been eating?

(12:15PM) Lovey: comeback

(12:15PM) Lovey: I’m trying to lose some cheeks for this comeback

(12:30PM) Lovey: sorry for worrying you

(12:31PM) You: whaa…

(12:33PM) You: but you know my favourite part of your face is your cheeks D:

(12:33PM) Lovey: :(

(12:33PM) You: will you start eating again?

(12:35PM) You: im not going to force you, mark. It’s really up to you.

(12:35PM) Lovey: im eating right now

(12:35PM) You: what are you eating

(12:38PM) Lovey: cereal

(12:38PM) Lovey: and um some left over sushi from yesterday

(12:38PM) You: ohhh sounds delicious

(12:40PM) You: okay I wont disturb you anymore, have fun eating bby

As you were about to put your phone away but there was an incoming videocall from your boyfriend. A small chuckle left your lips as you answered the call.

--Day 73

“Yo, did you see it?!” was the first thing Mark had asked you when you answered his call.

You raise your eyebrows in confusion, sitting up from your laying position, “see what?”

“We just posted a new dance practice; did you not see it?” his eyes widen dismay.

You shook your head, grabbing your laptop from the table, placing it on your lap, “nope, my phone was on dnd,”

“How did you answer my call, then?”

“You’re in my favourites dumbass,”

You type in your password before searching YouTube and clicking on the video that your boyfriend was talking about.

While watching the video, you placed your phone resting on the laptop so Mark could see your face. Throughout the whole video, you were singing softly to the song.

“Did you see that?! Did you see it?” Mark suddenly yells through the screen during the dance break part.

You jump a little, “what? What? What did I miss?”

He groans at you, “the bracelet! Johnny dropped it!”

“Huh?” you press the arrow to repeat it again and you noticed how Johnny’s bracelet fell while he was dancing.

“Wait a little more, I picked it up! Like a professional!”

You waited a little longer and your boyfriend was right. While he was getting into position, your boyfriend had swept the bracelet in his hands.

You grin, “proud of you, babe,”

You wanted to continue watching but your laptop started lagging from the terrible wi-fi. You groan in annoyance, pressing pause, hoping it would reload but it only hangs even more.

“God damnit, this fucking wi-fi,”

“Should I buy you a router? Or a new laptop?” he jokes.

--Day 71

(9:02PM) You: hey wanna call?

(9:02PM) You: today was so stressful I just wanna talk to you

(10:12PM) You: ahh you must be busy with comeback

(9:32PM) You: sorry babe! We’ll jst call tmr? :)

(9:33PM) You: love u! make sureee u drink lots of water <3

-Day 67

Mark lets out an aspirated sigh as he answers your facetime call. “What, Y/N?”

You frown at the way he greets you. He was moody probably because he just finished practicing.

You could tell from how he was laying on his bed without a shirt on, or how he would repeatedly thread his fingers through his black locks.

“I just wanted to talk to you,” you mumble out softly, your eyes softening, feeling guilty that you were disturbing him.

You bit your lip anxiously when Mark simply sighs, rolling his eyes slightly, “should we just call another time?”

He sighs once more, moving around until he lays on his side, “no, no, what’s up?”

You felt a little hesitant, unsure if he was being sarcastic or not. Mark wasn’t the type to approach something if he doesn’t like it, he would just go with the flow.

You shook your head, laying back down onto your bed, “No, you’re tired and I shouldn’t be disturbing you right now.”

Mark opens his mouth but you cut him off, “Sorry, Mark. Goodnight.”

You quickly end the call with a heavy heart, throwing your phone next to you. You knew you shouldn’t be expecting an incoming call from your boyfriend, but you shamelessly waited for his specific ringtone.

It did break your heart a little when you didn’t get any response from your boyfriend.

That night, you had spent your time watching Netflix with tears rolling down your cheeks.

-Day 62

“Y/N?”

A choked sob left your throat, your hands wiping the tears running down your cheeks.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Johnny’s voice filled your ears.

You gulp as your heart clench painfully when you hear Mark’s laughter in the background.

“Y/N, d-do you want me to pass the phone to Mark?”

“N-no,” you quickly say out, pausing a little. Hiccups leaving your lips, “d-don’t… please,”

“Okay?” Johnny replies in uncertainty, “Are you… okay? Should I beat Mark up?” he jokes.

You couldn’t bring yourself to smile. “How is he doing?” you whisper, but Johnny could hear very clearly.

You assumed that he had moved somewhere else since you can’t hear the boys screaming in the background.

“Did something happen?” Johnny asks, “I’m not with them right now, so you can tell me.”

You remember the last time you had last talked to Mark.

It has been exactly 5 days since the both of you last texted— or even called. You weren’t sure why or how it happened.

It had taken a big toll on you— you couldn’t focus during lessons and you had spent most of the nights wide awake, thinking what had gone wrong. You had contemplated multiple times whether you should send him a text, but every time you push yourself to say something, you would always remember how busy he is.

“We haven’t been talking for a while,” you answer painfully, “but he’s doing fine, right?”

You hope he’s doing fine.

You hear Johnny lets out an agitated sigh, “Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll go talk to him, okay?”

“Just… don’t stress him out even more.”

“I won’t. Just… stop crying over him, okay?” he says, “Mark is an idiot, he’s not worth crying over.”

A small giggle leaves your lips, “you sound like a girl right now,”

-Day 61

(12:12AM) Mark: hey babe

(12:12AM) Mark: johnny just talked to me about what happened

(12:13AM) Mark: can we talk?

(12:45AM) You: okay

(12:45AM) Mark: great, I’ll call you

(12:45AM) You: no

(12:46AM) You: we’ll text

(12:46AM) You: here

You just know that you would be a sobbing mess once you hear Mark’s voice.

(12:46AM) Mark: oh

(12:46AM) Mark: okay

(12:46AM) Mark: youre okay tho

(12:47AM) Mark: right

(12:52AM) You: mhm

(12:52AM) Mark: that’s great um

(12:52AM) Mark: i didn’t know you were feeling that way

(12:53AM) Mark: i’ve been so busy lately i forgot to text or call you

(12:53AM) Mark: and that is not your fault at all

(12:53AM) Mark: i shouldn’t be acting like that in the first place

(12:54AM) Mark: its just really hard with timezones and everything

(12:54AM) Mark: especially with the comeback and all

(12:54AM) You: what are you saying mark?

(12:55AM) Mark: what?

(12:58AM) You: are you breaking up with me?

(12:58AM) Mark: wat? no. what.

(12:58AM) You: wait so we’re not breaking up?

(12:58AM) Mark: what

(12:58AM) Mark: no of course not what are you saying?

(12:59AM) You: I DON’T KNOW

(12:59AM) You: i thought you wanted to break up

(12:59AM) Mark: no I don’t want to what the fuck

(12:59AM) You: so we’re good now right?

-Day 51

Soft melodies were playing in the background while the both of you were doing different things.

You were sitting on your chair, your elbows pressing painfully against your desk, working on your homework diligently. Your phone was perched on your lamp, making sure Mark could see your face.

Your boyfriend was laying on his bed with a notebook laying in front of him, a pen in his hand while he thought of lyrics. He had his legs swinging back and forth behind him cutely.

You exhale loudly as you re-read the same question over and over again.

Mark immediately looks up, “you okay?”

You hum without even looking at him before you continued doing your work.

Mark decides to leave you alone as to not distract you. He rests his cheek against his arm as he tries to think of another sentence to finish the song he was working on.

His eyes slowly dart towards you who had their eyebrows furrowed cutely, a pout plastered on your lips, baby hairs littering against your forehead and cheeks.

Without even realising, a small smile spreads across Mark’s lips. His breath slows down as he relaxed and stares at your figure.

Multiple sentences that could be used as lyrics flooded through his head. He quickly sits up to write the flood of inspiration that was bursting through his veins.

-Day 43

(2:53AM) boyfie: duuudee!!

(2:53AM) boyfie: vlive!!

(2:53AM) boyfie: quick!!!!!

(3:15AM) You: omg ok give me a sec

(3:15AM) You: I just woke up

With a yawn, you open the vlive app and click on the NCT127 page to enter the live your boyfriend was doing.

‘Hi’ you type in the comment section. You stare at your boyfriend, scanning his facial expression to notice your comment.

Exactly 5 seconds later, a huge grin spreads across his lips as he looks up at the camera to wave.

It eased you to know that he was waving at you, for you. Maybe you were being selfish, but you were glad that Mark was yours. Although it does get on your nerves when you see your friends post about how much he loves your boyfriend.

‘mark is so handsome’ you typed.

Unfortunately, Mark didn’t notice your comment, but Donghyuck did. Donghyuck nudges your boyfriend, who immediately responded, turning to look at him.

His friend showed him your comment, which your boyfriend immediately smiles to.

‘I love mark lee so much!!!’

A few seconds later Mark creates a small heart at the camera before looking away with crimson red cheeks.

-Day 38

“So you and Mina, huh?” you say bitterly, rolling your eyes.

You were referring to the interaction between the two when Mina was leaving music bank. You might’ve been slightly jealous of the chemistry between the two, especially when all the fans would ship the both of them.

Mark can only watch you in amusement, a small smile playing along his lips.

“Is she better than me?” you say sarcastically, clicking your tongue,

You envied their friendship. Someone who was merely a friend was able to see your boyfriend so easily.

His face softens, “you know she’s not like that, baby,” his tone was soft, easy to persuade you.

Baby. You wanted to scoff at that. He only used that term when he was trying to win your heart.

You huff, crossing your arms violently. “You’re always with her!”

He chuckles, looking down at his phone before looking back up at you quickly.

You pout at the boy through the screen, “you love me more, right Mark?”

He sarcastically rolls his at your question. What kind of question was that?

His face scrunches in disgust, “Firstly, I don’t even love Mina that way, babe,” he tells you, “and secondly, the only person I love you, alright? So stop being jealous you wimp.”

“Wimp?” you scoff, “and you’re my boyfriend?”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

Just as you were about to respond to him, your phone vibrated with a notification. You look down and gaped.

_happiness_o wants to send you a message.

“Mark…”

You unlocked your phone to see the message that Mina was trying to send you.

“You told her?!” you exclaimed, looking up at your boyfriend who was stifling his laughter. “Mark! Why would you do that?!” you whine, throwing your phone next to you.

“In my defence, I didn’t tell her to send you a text,” he says, “I was just talking about how cute you were being!”

-Day 22

You were laying on your side, deep in a slumber while Mark stares at you lovingly.

Your cheek pressed cutely against your pillow which made your lips pout cutely. The little pieces of hair adorning your temples and cheeks only made Mark want to push it back against your ear. Something he would do every time you were sleeping with him.

He suddenly got an idea and fishes out his phone, searching a filter that he had saved for this particular moment.

He clicks on the filter, waiting for it to load for a moment, before adjusting the angle so the filter could scan his face properly. Once he was sure it won’t budge, he presses record.

‘your soulmate is sleeping right now’

A sad smile adorns his lips, looking at you through the screen. He flips the camera, zooming into your sleeping form then ending the video.

Mark was quite hesitant to post it since he was never the type to post about his relationship with you. But these past few days has been hitting him differently.

He missed you so much, he swore he could go crazy. He had spent another unreasonable amount on you again. He couldn’t even sleep because you were always stuck on his mind.

He bit his lip anxiously before posting the video on his Instagram story. He noticed how your phone vibrated right when it was uploaded— you had his notifications on.

-Day 15

“So it’s gonna be forever~” you sing loudly, pointing your hairbrush to Mark who was laughing loudly through the screen.

“Or it’s gonna go down in flames…” he sings off tune.

While you were busy singing and dancing from all Taylor Swift’s song, Mark had stealthily recorded you with his phone to upload them on his private Instagram.

‘idiot. But my idiot’ he captioned before tagging you and posting it on his page.

“Sing with me, Mark!” you shout, looking at your boyfriend. “Cherry lips, crystal skies, I could show you incredible things,” you sang, pointing at Mark.

Your boyfriend blushes when he realizes you were singing to him.

You cough loudly before clearing your throat after blaring out lyrics to Taylor swift. You reach for your cup of water before gulping it down.

“What song should we sing to next?” you ask, scrolling down through you and Mark’s playlist. The both of you had shared one account ever since he found out the both of you shared the same music taste.

“Should we do a rap?” he suggests.

You smirk up at him, “oooh, because you’re a rapper, huh? Okay, okay.”

You thumb press on ‘Beauty and a Beat’ by Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj.

“I’m a better rapper than you, Mark Lee,” you shout at your boyfriend before rapping to Nicki Minaj’s part.

It was so adorable at how you stumbled over some words, or when you had your eyebrows furrowed trying to rap to the lyrics.

At this moment, Mark thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. You had your hair tied up in the ugliest bun he has ever seen, but you looked so adorable, especially in the huge t-shirt you were wearing. But most importantly, the huge grin plastered on your lips and tint of red adorning your cheeks, puts a smile on Mark’s face.

Right when the song has ended, you let out a tired sigh, lying against your bed.

“Am I better than you, Markie?”

He bit back a smile and nodded, “you should replace me in NCT, babe,”

You pretend to think, “I should, shouldn’t I?”

-Day 7

You were talking about Mark about your friend who had pissed you off earlier today.

He shrugs, “honestly, I saw that coming. I never liked her,”

You groan, throwing your head back, “I know right,” you stress, “I should’ve listened to you,”

Mark rests his cheek against his palm, “so what are you going to do?”

You pout, “I don’t know. What should I do, Mark?”

Your boyfriend hums, thinking for a while, “I think it’s best if you cut her off. She doesn’t deserve you, babe.”

You let out an aspirated sigh, frowning. “she was just a close friend…” you trailed off sadly.

“I know, baby,” he coos, “but your mental health is important too.”

Your eyes widen cutely, “I love you,”

That caught your boyfriend off-guard, his eyes widen in awe. “w-what, don’t be weird!” he sputters out.

“You’re weird!” you bite back.

-Day 3

“Mark,” you call out, your boyfriend immediately humming. “I learnt a new tiktok dance,”

He raises his eyebrows. He has never downloaded Tiktok but he knows how much you love the app. Most of the time the both of you were calling, you would be scrolling through the app, sending him links of videos that you found funny.

It was a secret: Mark never actually watches the video. But you do not need to know that.

“Show me, baby,”

You stood up, adjusting your laptop in a decent position. You reach for your phone to play the music before you started dancing.

Mark recognized the song as Savage. It was a song that Taeyong would constantly play.

Your boyfriend’s eyes widen in bewilderment, amazed at how good you were at dancing.

“Woah, woah,” he gapes when you started throwing back.

When the song ended, you ambled towards your laptop, “how was it? Was I good? Was I as good as Taeyong and Johnny?”

He rolls his eyes at that, “do you do it to other people?”

“What?”

“The throwing back thing,”

Ah. He was jealous.

You shrug, looking away from his intense gaze, “I don’t know. I was planning to ask some of my friends about their opinion.”

“Y/N,” he says sternly.

“I was joking! Jeez. You’re such a party pooper.”

-Day 2

You laid on your side, your arm supporting your head. A movie was playing on your laptop screen but you could only stare at Mark’s face.

He was busy laughing at one of the scenes but you couldn’t focus from his handsome face.

He was wearing the ugly black glasses that he chose a few weeks ago, but he still looked so good in your eyes. His black hair was styled messily from laying around.

“Babe, are you watching?” his eyes widen cutely after sensing how quiet you were being.

“I am,” you mumble out, but your eyes never leaved your boyfriend’s screen.

“Okay,” he whispers, resting his body as he continued watching the movie that was played on the screen.

At this moment in time, you wanted to tell Mark how much you love him. You wanted to smother him in kisses.

“Mark,” you called. You realise how he had paused the movie that was playing to listen to you. “I love you,” you tell him.

Mark was frozen for a second, confused yet flustered by your sudden confusion. He smirks, playing the movie, “weirdo. I love you too, you cutie.”

-Day 1

(11:01PM) bub: babyyyy hiiiii

(11:01PM) bub: wanna call ;)

(11:05PM) bub: hello why r u not replying

(11:05PM) bub: it’s only 11 there

(11:10PM) bub: I know youre not asleep babe

(11:10PM) bub: arghhh

(11:10PM) bub: are you asleep????

(11:10PM) bub: :(

(11:10PM) bub: well ok gn bb I’ll talk to you tmr

(11:10PM) bub: love youuuu

D-DAY

You were laying on Mark’s bed restlessly, waiting for your boyfriend to reach his dorm. When you heard the door unlock, a grin spread across your lips when you saw your boyfriend walk in.

“Hi Mark,” you greet, waving at your boyfriend.

Mark looks up at you and nods, “hi y/n,” he says back before turning the other way to go to the bathroom.

You bit back a smile quietly, giving him a minute to realise. You quietly stood up by the bed to amble towards your boyfriend.

“Wait,” he pauses, turning around slowly, his eyes widening at the sight of you walking up to him, “w-what? Is this real? y/n?”

You smile at him, spreading your arms, waiting for him to tackle you in a hug. “I’m here, baby.”

“Oh my god,” he breathes out before rushing towards you to pull you against his chest. “You’re here, oh my god,”

You rest your head on his chest, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. You’ve missed the moment for so long. For more than 3 months, you had to live without Mark’s presence.

He pulls you away, his hand gripping your shoulder tightly. “How— what are you doing here?!” he exclaims.

Your cheeks were hurting from smiling so much, “to see you, of course!”

“You surprised me!” he exclaims, pulling you in for another hug, “oh my god, you scared me so much, I love you so much. When did you get here? You didn’t answer my texts yesterday!”

“I love you too and I was in the plane, I couldn’t text you back,” you reply, however your voice was muffled by the black cotton shirt he was wearing. You pull away, looking up at him, “are you not going to kiss me?” you asked abruptly.

He looks down at you with wide eyes, “w-what. That is so sudden, don’t say that!” he stutters out, looking away from you.

You pout at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, “what? I came all the way here, didn’t get enough sleep just to see my boyfriend but he won’t kiss me?”

He scowls at you, his arm dropping to rest around your waist. He leans down to connect both your lips. You felt your heart spark when you felt his lips graze against yours.

You didn’t even realise you were pulling him down even more to kiss him deeper. Mark’s grip on your waist tightened, pulling you even closer.

“Ah, the kids have finally met,” you heard someone say from behind you two.

Mark and you pull away breathlessly, his lips tinted a bright shiny red. The both of you turn around to see Taeil standing at the door.

Your boyfriend whines, “Go away, Hyung,”

501 notes · View notes

jackrrabbit · 4 years

Text

it will come back [pt. 2] /// Yandere Shigaraki x f!Reader

Summary: You have a bad habit of picking up strays, and the half-dead villain you find bleeding out in a dumpster is no exception. [Part 1] [Part 3]

A/N: Title from the Hozier song—“don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ, don’t be kind to it / oh honey don’t feed it / it will come back.”

Tags/warnings: yandere, violence (not directed toward reader), crying, Shiggy REALLY likes you, reader needs a friend and a good night’s sleep, non-explicit sexual content. [In later parts: 18+, sex, other stuff]

He—Tomura—keeps visiting.

At first you think it’s because of the free medical care, and you wish you had the spine to tell him to suck it up and go see a professional. After a couple weeks turn into a couple months and his wounds fade into ragged purple scars, though, you start to think differently.

Within a short time Tomura has figured out your work schedule, and he does a decent job of not showing up after your long shifts. The unavoidable consequence of this is that he ends up monopolizing your precious days off, but you come to the realization about a month and a half in that you don’t actually mind. You like it. It’s like spending time with a friend.

Mostly you guys talk. It doesn’t seem like Tomura really has anyone to talk to the way the two of you do, but that’s probably just you projecting. It’s usually shallow stuff—TV shows you like, video games he plays, funny stories from patients you treated. Sometimes when you’re cooking for yourself, you make extra for him. (It happens a lot, actually, and at one point you bring up how much his appetite is costing you and the next time you see him he brings a bag of rice and makes you a porridge that crunches between your teeth when you try to eat it. You can’t finish yours, but he eats an entire bowl and insists that you’re being picky.)

Sometimes he sleeps over on the couch, but he’s always gone when you wake up.

The two of you skirt around the heavier stuff, and you know it’s intentional on his part. You have to resist the urge to ask him about being a villain—he’s all but confirmed it for you, and it’s human nature to be curious, isn’t it? In the same way you can’t help looking at a car crash, you want to poke and prod and find out what it is, exactly, that Tomura does for a living. That part of his life is suspiciously absent from your discussions—if you didn’t know better, you’d think he spends all of his time sleeping and playing games and breaking into your place.

On the other hand, you don’t want to know. Plausible deniability. You can accept criminality in the abstract, but you’ve treated too many victims of the bullshit hero–villain battle to be comfortable really knowing why Tomura avoids public places.

So you don’t ask about it, and Tomura doesn’t tell, and you don’t look up his name. And it’s easy. It’s nice. You’d forgotten what it’s like to come back to a home that isn’t empty.

And then one day when you get off a few hours early from your shift, you stop by a convenience store to pick up some snacks for yourself (hey, you’ve been working hard, you’re entitled to binge a little on foods that you’re afraid to look at the fat content for), and you think, Hm, I wonder if Tomura wants some.

[You: 7:49 PM] > Are you coming over today? [T: 7:49 PM] > Yeah why [You: 7:51 PM] > Getting snacks > Want some? [T: 7:51 PM] > No

[T: 8:12 PM] > When r u coming back to ur place

[T: 8:58 PM] > Hey where are you

[T: 9:39 PM] > (Y/N)?

There’s a man with a gun in the convenience store.

It takes you a second to process at first. You’re standing in the snack food aisle seeking out Oreos and debating the merits of Double Stuf vs. Mega when you catch the mumbled demand and the metallic clicking noise you’ve only ever heard in movies before. It’s a gun—you know that, but your mind dismisses it because it’s ridiculous. Guns are rare in hero society. People don’t go around robbing bodegas at gunpoint anymore.

(You should know better. You work in a goddamn ER. But you compartmentalize, and the crimes you see written across your patients’ bodies stay out of the realm of your personal life because you need them to.)

It’s only when you see the muzzle of a hunting rifle pushed up to the cashier’s sweaty neck that you really understand what’s happening.

You drop to the ground immediately, looking toward the exit but it’s shut and there’s some kind of metal…thing holding the door closed. The cashier mumbles a denial and you can hear him fumble around with the cash drawer for what feels like ages.

It’s real. This is real. You’re in the middle of a robbery. Where are the heroes? Why isn’t anyone doing anything?

God, you’re a hypocrite, cowering behind the aisle divider and waiting for someone to step up while the robber’s demands get increasingly louder and more frantic. He wants money, and the cashier (who, you remember, is a man in his sixties with hands that shake with Parkinson’s when he holds out your receipt) isn’t being fast enough.

“That’s it? There’s no more? Are you fucking kidding me, there’s gotta be a safe or something—“

“No! No, p-please, I’m sorry, this is all I have!”

You cringe, crushing your eyes closed as if that will make it go away. You’re surprised you can hear at all over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears.

“Don’t fuck with me old man, I know there’s more! Show me the safe or I’ll blow your goddamn brains out!”

No! You have to do something. You can’t just sit here. You’ve heard plenty of death threats from your patients (not to mention that one from Tomura), and you know the difference between a bluff and a serious warning. Maybe you can catch the robber off guard, try to pull the gun away? You stand up quickly, hoping against hope that you won’t regret this, but in a split second you see that the cashier has the same idea and he’s trying to pull the rifle out of the robber’s hand and—

BANG.

Something warm and wet splatters across your face.

///

Tomura is angry when you get back to the apartment. As soon as he hears your key in the lock he rises from your couch so he can grab your collar with three fingers, jerking your head up to force you to look at him. “Where have you been? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting—“

But he cuts short in the middle of his sentence. Maybe because he sees the look on your face. Or maybe he just notices the traces of blood you haven’t been able to wipe off.

“What happened,” Tomura says. It’s not a question. He adjusts his grip slightly so it’s not quite as punishing, but you hold still anyway.

You have to force your mouth open in order to speak, but when your voice comes out it’s more steady than you thought it would be. “It’s not my blood. There was a robbery at the store. The cashier got shot.”

“Oh.” He releases you and frowns. “That’s it?”

“Fuck you.” You push past him into the kitchen to get yourself a drink with trembling hands. Pantry’s out of shōchū, whiskey will just make you sicker—ahh, there it is. Baijiu. The glug glug glug of the liquor into the glass does nothing to put your nerves at ease, but you pour yourself a double anyway.

“Wait—wait.” Tomura’s hands twitch and rub over his arms like he’s trying to stop himself from grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you. “Calm down. Why are you so upset? Don’t you see this stuff every day?”

You do. You’re an ER nurse. There’s no injury you haven’t seen. But it’s not about the blood. “I...I knew him. The cashier. He was nice. He had a grandkid on the way. I—“ You bite your lip and down the baijiu in one gulp. It burns.

Tomura clearly doesn’t know how to comfort you; probably doesn’t even really know why you need to be comforted. What does it mean that death is so meaningless to him? you wonder. But you need someone to listen to you, clueless or not, and Tomura will have to do.

The baijiu is still bitter and hot down your throat when you speak again. “You know something? Know what they asked me when the heroes finally showed up and pulled us out of there, me and the corpse?”

“…What?” Tomura asks warily.

“They stuck a camera in my face and asked me if there was anything I wanted to say to the hero who saved me. Any words of gratitude I wanted to share,” you spit. Now it’s your turn to feel your hands making fists at your sides. Your fingernails scratch into your palms like the pain can be an outlet for the sudden overwhelming fury spilling over you. “They didn’t save him. They were too late.”

Tomura’s eyes widen, and through your curtain of anger you can tell he’s looking at you in a way he’s never looked at you before. It’s unlike him to even look directly at you, and when he does it’s usually in disinterest or half-sincere irritation. This, though…this is different. He’s watching you like a believer watches a prophet. You can tell—or at least some deep, ugly part of you that you hope is wrong can tell—that he’s trying not to smile.

“I hate this,” you say, and the first tear drips out of your eye and runs down your cheek. It’s awful. You don’t want to cry in front of Tomura. You don’t want to show him how weak you are. But before you can wipe it away, Tomura’s hand comes up and does it for you, smearing the tear over your cheek in a gesture that—for him—is oddly tender.

Then he hugs you.

It’s stiff and awkward, like he’s forgotten how to do it, but the intention is clear. His arms fold around your back, pulling you into his chest while his chin makes its way to rest on your shoulder. He’s leaning into you so deeply that your spine is arched back, and you stagger away from him only for him to step closer again to make up the distance.

“It’s not fair, hm,” he murmurs into your hair. His tone is the closest thing to sympathy you’ve ever heard from him, but there’s an undercurrent of excitement you can’t ignore. “They’re always too late, aren’t they? The heroes… And everyone will watch that video of you thanking the heroes, and they’ll think they’re safe too. They’ll keep going about their lives and think that nothing bad can happen to them because a hero will always be around to save them…but you and I know that’s a lie.”

It takes you a second to recognize the emotion that’s raising goosebumps over your arms while Tomura rubs circles into your back, but when it clicks you shiver because it’s fear. You’ve never really been afraid of Tomura before, even when you should’ve been. Does he realize he’s backing you up with how forcefully he’s pushing himself into you? The backs of your knees hit the arm of your couch and you topple onto it with Tomura following.

He holds himself above you on his hands, legs tangled with yours. His eyes are wild and he’s not even trying to suppress his grin now. You’re trapped lying on your back under him—pinned like a butterfly under glass.

“Get off of me,” you say as calmly as you can.

“It’s all a lie, all of it…” A hand comes up and strokes your cheek, rubbing with two fingers at a stray fleck of blood on your neck. “I’m sorry it had to be like this, but I’m so glad you understand…”

“Let me up now, Tomura.”

He holds still for a long moment—waiting, thinking, considering—and then sits up, still straddling you but loosely enough that you can scramble back away from him on the couch. Your heart is racing, but you try to slow your breaths so he doesn’t pick up on how scared you are.

“Don’t freak out. You’re no fun,” Tomura says, and you exhale a sigh of relief at how normal he sounds. You never thought you’d be so happy about him looking at you like you’re nothing.

“I think you should go,” you say carefully.

He rocks back on his heels and runs a hand through his hair. “Are you mad? I thought I could stay here tonight, like usual. Since I waited for so long.”

“I’m not mad. I just…want to be alone.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone tonight. Not after what you’ve been through.”

Oh, now you care. “Fine. Okay? Fine. You can sleep on the couch.” You’re too tired to argue any more, and you’ve never really been good at convincing Tomura to do anything he doesn’t want to. It’s a miracle he listened to you when you told him to get off you. Considering how often he breaks into your apartment, it’s not like you could keep him out anyway.

So he stays the night. He doesn’t bother you when you take a shower and go to bed, he just lies on the couch in his street clothes. When you wake up in the morning he’s disappeared like he always does, and for the first time since you met him you’re truly relieved that he’s gone.

///

You always thought it would take some level of courage you don’t possess to actually bite the bullet and look Tomura up. To do so would mean saying goodbye to whatever strange relationship the two of you have built over the months, and you’re just not brave enough to risk it.

Turns out it’s not courage that makes you type his name into the search bar. It’s cowardice. You’re lying in bed under the covers when you do it, and the blue-white screen of your laptop is the only light in the room. Your comforter is pulled up almost over your head like it’s a wall that can block out reality.

“tomura”, you enter into the search bar, but you don’t hit return. Instead, you look at the search suggestions.

> tomura shigaraki > tomura shigaraki league of villains > tomura shigaraki decay

Something about it sounds familiar. But you’re not ready. Still, after everything, you’d rather keep your eyes closed. You backspace and snap your laptop shut, and when you do your room is so dark that you think the emptiness might swallow you up.

///

[T: 5:52 PM] > Are u going to be at home tn

[T: 6:14 PM] > Hey check ur phone

[T: 6:42 PM] > Stop ignoring me > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N)

[T: 6:46 PM] 3 MISSED CALLS [You: 6:50 PM] > I’m at work [T: 6:50 PM] > Don’t lie > you finished an hour ago

[T: 7:13 PM] 1 MISSED CALL [T: 7:14 PM] > You said you werent mad [You: 7:15 PM] > I’m not [T: 7:15 PM] > Then stop being a brat > im coming over > ill bring takeout

You’re nervous about seeing him, but in the two weeks since he pushed you down on the couch you’ve found yourself…missing him. Like it or not, he’s made himself a fixture in your life. So when you get home you’re brimming with anticipation, wondering who you’ll get when you open the door—the normal Tomura you’ve come to like over the past few months, or the one from that night. The villain.

But it’s just him. Good old Tomura, laden with plastic bags and containers of greasy fast food for the two of you to gorge yourselves on. You tease him for being cheap and he argues that you’re just a snob and everything seems so normal that you can almost forget the look in his red eyes when he told you that you understood.

Almost.

///

You probably have no idea how good you look when you’re crying.

Of the couple thousand views on the news channel video of your “rescue” from the convenience store robber, at least a tenth are from Tomura. Eventually he just downloads the video onto his computer so he doesn’t have to read the inane comments that the other viewers leave on the webpage. It seems like everyone but him thinks you should feel lucky that you were saved by a hero before the robber could get to you, too.

As always, the public are a bunch of shit-soaked morons. Reading the comments makes him angry, so angry he’s tempted to look into a few of these brainless sheep and see how lucky they feel when they’ve caught the attention of a violent criminal. But that wouldn’t be productive, so he saves the video externally and leaves the news website alone. It’s for the best. Besides, seeing the “views” counter on the website tick up and up by the dozen every time he refreshes is just another reminder that other people are watching this; other people are seeing how delicate and vulnerable and pretty you are with tears spilling out of your eyes and the cashier’s blood sprayed over your clothing.

Thousands of useless fucking NPCs are looking at you just like Tomura is. They’re probably thinking about how sweet you look, just like he is. And they’re probably imagining all the ways they can take advantage of your fragile emotional state, just like him.

You’re too trusting for your own good. Tomura used to think it was a virtue, and it is, but only when it comes to him. Whenever he thinks about how your face is slapped over a dozen different news websites for the whole world to see, he has to dig his fingernails into his neck to keep calm. It’s better when he can just watch the video and pretend he’s the only one seeing it.

And it’s not like not watching the video is an option. Tomura can’t resist your crying face. There’s a point around the three minute mark where your voice breaks in the middle of your statement, and sometimes Tomura skips there in the video just so he can hear that pathetic little sob and replay it over and over and over. Maybe it’s sappy, but Tomura really does feel his heart skip a beat at the way your eyes and nose are rubbed red from your misery.

How fucked up is it that he gets off watching you cry?

Would you be angry if you knew? You probably would, but you put up with so much from him already. Maybe you’d be okay with it if he told you he really and truly tried to hold out. The first dozen times Tomura watched the video, he refused to touch himself no matter how tight his pants got while you choked out your stilted answers to the reporters’ questions, but at this point he barely has to click “play” on the video before he gets hard and takes matters into his own hands.

At the end of the day, it’s your fault. Everything about you is so erotic, from your shaky voice to your pouty, bitten-red lips. Isn’t it completely normal to be aroused while looking at the person you like? And Tomura likes you, he really likes you. He doesn’t have any pictures of you, and with the high definition of the news channel’s video he can see every perfect contour of your cheekbones, every pore in your skin, every glistening wet eyelash.

It’s not that Tomura doesn’t feel sympathy for how upset you are in the video. He does! Not even just sympathy, even—he’s empathetic. He knows exactly how it feels to be let down by the heroes. How dare they tell you you need to be grateful while you’re still trying to wipe brain matter off your shirt? Always too little, too late. It’s not fair.

But if he’s being honest? As miserable as you are, Tomura is happy that you were in the store when that robber came in and that you had to watch a man you knew get his brains blown out in front of you. You need a wake-up call to lose faith in hero society. If you have to suffer some emotional trauma in the process, that seems like a fair price to pay.

And the fact that Tomura gets to jerk off to it? It’s almost like destiny.

➠ [Part 3]

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gardenerian · 3 years

Note

Feel free to ignore this ask if its too personal! But I just read your ask on whether the show properly represents Ian's BD, and I agree with a lot of your points, especially based on my own personal experience, that when they decided to address it and work with it, they seem to do a good job, but they only really focus on it for individual eps instead of it being a constant part of his story. But that does make me wonder, what's your opinion on Ian in s8? because he's spiraling even from ep 1, like weather-wise it seems like s8 take place in the spring, maybe like April/mayish, which is only a few months after losing Mickey, and his mother, who is the only person who he feels would understand his disorder. And he doesn't get any real support from his family, they just act like he should move on from it. It definitely continues the trend of ian looking for external love and validation and comfort to make him feel better, like with how he jumped from trying to get comfort from Trevor to from trying to get comfort from helping the kids. But I also feel like that's a storyline where they really dropped the ball trying to portray BD because they seem to think it's funny that he's manic? Like the scene where he essentially prostitutes himself for the shelter, it seems like we're supposed to think its funny when it's just another example of him having sexual trauma and thinking of his body as the only thing that makes him worthwhile? idk, I was just wondering what your take on that was, i always really love reading your thoughts <3

hey there! thanks for this ask. i have to be honest - i am bad at meta. but that doesn't mean i won't charge right into it with unearned confidence anyways! i have.... so much to say about s8 ian. i said quite a bit about it in this post that discusses ian's manic episode and where he might have gone off his meds since the show chose not to tell us fuckin anything about his illness and kinda just made him seem like an asshole for several straight episodes sdfhaosdj

but! you bring up lots of things i have not discussed much - and i am excited to do so now! thank u 😌 as always, i invite anyone to chime in!

so i'm just gonna respond to the really insightful points you bring up - if anyone has other thoughts, please do add on/ comment or message me!

you're right that it kinda seems like ian's disorder is not as integrated in his story as it could be after s6. they bring it up just often enough (7x03, 10x09) to be like hey! look, we didn't forget about this! s8.... it's like they wrote themselves into a corner with him and then went "oh!! we can make him manic!!!!"

i'm not saying he needs to be flying off the handle all the time or anything, but stable does not necessarily mean a total absence of symptoms. i don't really know what it would look like to include it more thoroughly in the show - maybe someone cleverer than i can comment on this? - as i wouldn't want him to be reduced to a walking mental disorder, but i'd appreciate just some signs that it's still there, y'know? i think cam worked that in a bit in where he could? but it's just noticeably absent once it's not relevant to the plot (imo).

i think there's a shift from his struggle in 8x01-8x03 to what starts after 8x04. in those first three episodes, he's absolutely hurting after losing monica and (more privately) mickey. he's agitated and grieving, and i think this is the trigger for the episode that really starts manifesting in 8x04 and beyond.

i think it's fascinating that you bring up monica being the only one to really understand his disorder, bc really, that's true. she was the only one in his life who understood what it felt like. the others educated themselves and sympathized, but they couldn't know. i absolutely grieve for that lost opportunity - the chance for them to really bond over it, share their experiences and struggles. she could have been such a resource for him. still, he knows she 'gets it' at her core, and it unites them in whatever way it can. but when she calls him at the end of s7, she's listed as 'do not answer' or something like that, and he is hesitant to see her. he loves her, but he's terrified of her. he resents her, despite his pull to her. so losing her like that, with their last encounter being so unpleasant... there's just no closure.

the others had somewhat happier moments with her before she died (save for carl). they got just a few more moments with her. and they didn't even feel for her the way ian did. so after she dies, it's over for them. they all take 7x12 to reflect and come to some kind of peace. i don't think it ever really occurred to them that the grief and loss would stretch beyond the immediate aftermath of her death. so when ian is still struggling months later, it just doesn't compute. fiona is straight up surprised to hear that ian is upset about it. carl cannot fathom why ian doesn't want to get rid of her stuff. so no, he doesn't get much support in those episodes, bc his sibling genuinely cannot empathize (no slight to them! they had complicated relationships with their mom) - fiona has a lovely moment with him in that hot tub, but there's not much sustained support.

but the trend with him looking for external love - yeah. it's just incredibly sad to watch him blindly reach for purpose and validation. he really should have let trevor go, but he's clinging to some sense of normalcy and comfort. and this is why the idea of helping the kids, and how it evolves into his religious mission, makes sense to me, even if i don't think it's written very well. he's always had this righteous vision for himself, and he kinda throws himself into it here. i just..... it could have been so powerful. instead, it's just like each episode happens without any real cohesion? we are watching ian act without any real understanding of his motivations - other than what we already know about him.

and it's just... it's not totally clear that he is manic until the storyline hits its peak. i did my best in that other meta post to decipher how it happens and where his symptoms are, but you could also just say "wow, ian's kind of a dick this season" and it would also make sense. i remember watching it for the first time and being like... i think i know where this is going? but i can't tell??? and i'm all for suspense, but to me it just felt lazy and muddled.

but yes, it's not treated the same as his s4/s5 episodes. or even that hypo moment in 7x03. we don't see how ian is feeling or thinking, we just see him doing. the narrative style of the show has fully flipped at this point. shameless was always outlandish in their storylines, but this.... it's so cartoonish. it's like he's not just manic, he's a caricature of manic ian. the way it's presented as another wacky shameless storyline - yikes. i don't think every instance of his disorder has to be WEIGHTY and DRAMATIC... but if it's gonna end with him in fucking jail and losing his job.... yeah. the storytelling needs to feel worth that suffering. and it's just? not? at all?????

the way he sleeps with that couple aisdjsdjfhahhhh! that could have been SUCH an important turning point in this season's arc. like the first sight of him in that club in s4, or the porn in s5... this could have been a crucial moment for understanding his headspace and we just don't get it. it would have been so easy to thread his episodes together and! they don't!!! there is much to connect between his previous grooming, manic s4/s5 ian, and manic s8 ian but it just doesn't happen! so we have NO CLUE where his head is.

basically most of s8 (and the start of s9 with him in jail WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?) is a huge disservice to ian's disorder and his character. ALSO - s9 where he's still waiting for shim? and lip and fiona are like wtf? THAT COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING. he's still recovering from his episode and CLEARLY symptoms are lingering........ and they didn't!!! talk about it!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!! they missed so much of his s8 episode, this could have been such an opportunity for them to talk! and i know the siblings very much had their own shit going on, but for them to so blatantly miss his mania (no matter how terribly it was written) does not make sense to me.

anyways this has gotten too long and once again i am telling myself to please shut up oh my goddddddd! i could go on all day but i think this is enough 😌 ty for this discussion and please feel free (any of you!) to add on to this or drop by my inbox!

ian is hanging out in his garden right now. the sun is shining, and he and mickey are sitting in the dirt and smelling the earth. just in case anyone needs a palate cleanser after reading this. did anyone read this? blink twice if you need help.

#sorry this took longer than i intended!#i wound up going back to watch a couple episodes so i could answer properly #ty for this ask! i think people shy away from this arc #but i think i'd like to face it head on a bit more now #i used to just ignore it bc i hated it so much #but i appreciate this conversation ty anon #mental illness tw #mania tw #death tw #grief tw

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keilemlucent · 4 years

Text

lavender latte: vi

(T (for now!))

hawks | takami keigo x reader

ao3

chapter 1 || chapter 2 || chapter 3 || chapter 4 || chapter 5 || chapter 7 ||

masterlist

word count: 6.8k

finally. god.

warnings: none really! reader’s foot booted, but that’s about it.

---

well. here we are. thank u to everyone for reading this sweet, sweet story. we’re not through it yet, but i’m happy to offer a meal with this chapter. enjoy lovies. beta’ed by the lovely love @keiqos.

||||||||||||||||

You had several problems after returning to your apartment from the hospital. One of your coworkers was nice enough to drive you and your things back, but quickly the niceties stopped and your vague hell began.

Exclusively being on crutches sucked. Navigating your apartment and trying to live somewhat normally was a massive pain. Even just showering was a task that sapped most of your energy. Standing one-legged and balancing made your body ache with a deep soreness, especially the first few days you returned.

This was not even to mention the unpleasant dreams you were having.

‘Unpleasant’ & ‘dreams’ were a nice way of putting it.

You could recall that during your first night in the hospital, one of your doctors told you of the possibility of experiencing a few post-traumatic symptoms. Considering how out of it you were at the time, it was unsurprising how you brushed it off.

The reality was much harder to ignore.

...

Cars revving.

Shouting.

Shattering—

Your eyes flashed open, chest heaving and brow covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

Fuck that.

It was the same dream, an obvious recreation of the stimuli of the event. Though it was scattered in your memory, the dreams made it horribly vivid and vibrant despite lacking detail. The sounds and smells of that day clung to you as you shook your head, forcing yourself into wakefulness.

Your comforter was thrown from your body, and you shivered as cold air rushed over you. As jarred as you were, you still swung your legs off the bed, readjusting your boot and your aching leg, half-heartedly glaring at your crutches.

Your apartment wasn’t terribly set up to get around with your limited mobility, but your difficulty functioning didn’t help your overall mental state. Everything was just harder with the boot on, and you did your best to work with it.

Being locked up in your apartment added to the hellishness of it. You were so used to the stimuli and social environment of the teashop, it felt like a cold water shock when you were confined to your home entirely alone except for your cats.

You could, of course, try and venture out into the world. But, it was still winter and the ice-covered sidewalks didn’t seem like the best place to try and crutch around.

Within the first day or two, you resigned yourself to your three-week fate of being holed up.

You had a laundry list of things you could do. Shows and movies to watch, places in your house to clean, your cats to pet, but—

You still had far too much time on your hands.

A lot of your newfound time in the first few days was spent on your back, leg propped up, and draped in ice bags, musing over Hawks.

Hawks.

Holy fuck.

You couldn’t avoid it, couldn’t stop it. Just thinking about him made every part of you swirl and thrum like you were listening to some sort of contently-chorded song and you were more than happy to play it on repeat until your ears bled. Maybe that feeling towards Hawks had always been there (it had), but now you accepted it and stopped holding yourself back as much.

You never thought the idea of someone squeezing your shoulder would send you into literal fits of giggles and butterflies, but boy, did it. Not to mention all of the careful touches and gentle words you two had shared in the aftermath of the attack, though the memories were hazy. What you did remember and cherish was the warmth of him, quirk activated or not. Each time you recalled it, your gut fluttered and your hands twitched.

Your ceiling was the most interesting place to look in your apartment. The plain texture was the perfect canvas to allow your memories of the sweet interactions the two of you had shared to play like comforting reruns. The commercial breaks of these daydreams were the texts exchanged between you and Hawks.

Keigo couldn’t stop thinking about you either.

It wasn’t as distracting as it once was, as he had been more liberal with letting himself text you. The high number of messages between the two of you was maybe ridiculous, but he was a fast texter and you seemed to have plenty of jokes and banter for him to share in.

As good as the texting was, it was also nice to check-in on you and your recovery. You seemed more annoyed than anything else, but Keigo wasn’t so much of an idiot as to think you weren’t in any pain or struggling at all. Though you didn’t explicitly tell him or show him, he was familiar with the pains of healing and could infer some things about your state.

Keigo tried to brighten your day as he could. ‘Hawks’ still had plenty of hero work to do, especially with the information extracted from the recently detained syndicate members. Despite this, he took as much time as he could to stop and send you little snippets and messages which hopefully would help you smile a little.

It did, of course. Just talking to Hawks did.

You had moments of awareness a few times a day where you had to remind yourself that, yes, (Y/N), you were just casual friends and deeply enamored with the number two hero and that sentiment was at least partially returned.

You had a lot of time to wonder to what extent the feelings were returned. They obviously weren’t entirely one-sided, right?

It was completely possible that they were, but you did your best to shake off the thought.

It was more likely that notorious bachelor and flirt, pro hero Hawks, just wanted a fuck with some feelings. To fuck with some feelings, right?

Though, he did say that he cares about you.

But, you definitely can care about someone you only want to fuck.

You wished you had some sort of definitive answer. The murkiness of it all just made the sweetness of the past and the texts of the present seem a bit sour.

Confessing to Hawks was daunting and terrifying. Not to mention, it felt a bit juvenile, all of it. People weren’t supposed to get melty crushes like this past high school, right? Especially not ones this deep on someone who couldn’t possibly feel the same as you, right?

During one of these moments of uncomfortable clarity, your phone beeped as you rested on the couch. Despite not even seeing the message, you knew it would be Hawks.

You grabbed your phone, clicking open the newest message.

[birdboy]: hey hey angel

[birdboy]: look at this fucker i found

The image attached was a photo of Hawks standing next to one of his own billboards, advertising some sort of sports drink. The photo had obviously been taken with a timer, the angle of the photo tilted as Hawks and the billboard were quite small in the frame. It added to the charm of the photo, the way Hawks was holding a feather blade to the throat of his own advert. You could even tell through the pixels he was wearing a wide smile as he did so, wings spread behind him

You snorted.

You and Hawks are just friends, you reminded yourself.

[you]: looks like a punk bitch 2 me dude

[you]: kinda uncanny resemblance tho

[birdboy]: i agree

[birdboy]: he’s hot tho

You rolled your eyes, still smiling as you readjusted on the couch. You weren’t disagreeing, not at all.

[you]: not wrong

[you]: still, punk bitch

[birdboy]: :^(

[birdboy]: feelings = hurt

[birdboy]: please tell me the photo is funny

[birdboy]: it took like five tries

[you]: very funny, im gonna save it and sell when im short on cash

[birdboy]: my publicist will blacklist u

[you]: i’d like to see them try

[birdboy]: is that a challenge angel????

[you]: a promise

There was a break in the messages, though Hawks appeared to be typing.

[birdboy]: unrelated but

[birdboy]: how are you doing?

You paused, taking stock of your disheveled, sleepy self. You were only a few days out of the hospital and you definitely could’ve been worse off.

[you]: im okay!!!

[you]: sore and tired honestly

[birdboy]: :^(

[birdboy]: i'm glad to hear its not worse at least

[birdboy]: ill send u lots more embarrassing photos

[birdboy]: a million angel

[you]: my hero <3

It all was surreal and mentally impossible to avoid.

You really, really liked Hawks and had for a long while.

...

Keigo spent most of the rest of the day busy with patrols and work for the Commission, much to his chagrin. He hardly got a chance to text you. It reminded him of his reality as a pro, his fast-paced nature and how he truly couldn’t slow down, not at that point anyway. He had a brand and habitual way of being that was standard. Even for you, he wasn’t sure if he could slow down, even if he wanted to or needed to.

The idea scared him, pieces of his reality.

But, at the same time, Keigo hadn’t ever felt like this before. The weird, but incredibly alluring and comfortable heat in his chest made him feel like he’d do anything for you. Fuck, he’d fly to the stars and move them if he could, if that’s what it took.

Maybe he even wanted to.

Keigo couldn’t become a different person, for anyone, that’s not how things worked. But if getting closer to you meant... adjusting, he could do that. Easily. He was adaptable as all hell and he’d be glad to use it for something that made him feel good instead of hollow.

Keigo busily flew the day away. As the afternoon turned to night, the sky going pink and purple with dusk, he settled on top of a taller office building. It looked down on a street market, its smells and sounds wafting up to him on his perch.

It gave him an idea.

A good one.

You were inspecting your fridge with a grimace. Balancing on your crutches and being counter-weighed by the boot on your foot made your angry stance a whole lot less intimidating, but it was the sentiment that counted.

Several days post-hospital had done a number on your food supply. The fridge was empty except for a few nearly expired items and condiments. The dry shelves weren’t looking much better.

The shrill sound of your ringtone from the couch made your jump, nearly falling. You teetered back over to it, eye-widening at the caller ID.

[birdboy] calling...

Hawks had never called you before.

You quickly picked up the call, “...Hello?”

“Hey, angel!” Hawks was chipper on the other line. “What’re you up to?”

“Currently?” You hummed, turning forlornly to your kitchen. “Thinking about how I either need to order groceries or order dinner before committing to my couch for the rest of the night. Why? You don’t usually call.”

“I don’t,” Hawks’s smile was apparent in his voice, even through the receiver. “But, I had an idea.”

“Shoot.”

“I might just be near a super good takeout spot. How hard would it be for me to convince you to let me drop some food by your place? My treat.”

You didn’t reply for a second.

Stunned.

“Are you sure?”

“More than, dove. I’m off the rest of the night, anyways.”

Oh.

That gave you an idea—

An idea that would surely push the envelope of your feelings.

Let it.

“Okay, I’m in. One condition.” You bit your lip, willing your stomach to seize fluttering.

“You name it. This place is really good and—”

“I have been going a little stir crazy, and,” You cut him off, squeezing your eyes shut in anticipation, “how hard would it be to convince you to come over and stay awhile?”

Hawks was silent.

Your stomach dropped.

“Wait, I-I mean—” You stuttered, trying to gather yourself, but this time Hawks cut you off.

“Like, to hang out?” Hawks sounded shocked on the other line.

“Yes.”

You kept your breathing even and prayed it didn’t read over the call.

“God, dove. I’d love to. I can be over in like ten—”

“Wait,” You fisted the fabric of your sweats. “Can I have a little more time? For myself and my apartment.”

Hawks chuckled on the other end of the line, “Sure, angel. Thirty sound better?”

You let out a sigh of relief, falling on to the back of your couch, “Sounds perfect.”

Keigo decided to tease a bit, his heart pounding in his chest almost painfully. He knew from day one that you were bold, but this was a treat. He had to spare back, just a little.

“Though, dove, I’m sure you look more than perfect yourself. You always do.” He didn’t wait for your response, either out of fear of what you’d say or being a bit smug, he wasn’t sure.

Keigo hung up the call, burying his face in his gloves to try and stifle the blush on his cheeks, though it hardly helped.

It didn’t have to.

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Thirty minutes later and you were mostly sorted.

You managed to throw yourself into the shower, tossing on something half-way decent, but still comfortable. Had to keep it casual.

Crutching around your apartment, you picked up what clutter you could, mind spinning. Hawks coming over to your fucking apartment filled you with elated, and yet terrifying, anxiety. A few times while cleaning, you legitimately paused to muffle quiet screams in your hand at the prospect.

You felt like you were going to burst.

Keigo did too, notably.

He took the time to fly all the way back to his apartment, take the world’s fastest shower, and throw on some clothes other than his costume. Going back to get food, his hands shook as he handed the bills to the starry-eyed vendor who he’d just written an autograph for.

You’d sent a quick text just before he’d left with a description of your balcony, so neither of you would have to figure out how to let him in through the roof.

As he flew to your place, Keigo felt like he was going to implode.

He didn’t ‘hang out’ with people. Nope, far too busy for anything like that. He was a compulsory workaholic, it was part of his mental brand of being (or, mental ‘branding’, maybe). The closest he got to casual time with folks was the preamble before a hookup or the time he had spent at the tea shop with you. Actually going to spend time with someone, casually, and it was you? It was all new and terrifying.

But, above all? Exciting.

The whole situation opened many doors, all of which Keigo pictured and picked apart as he neared your apartment. There were so many potential situations to appraise and plan for, he felt overwhelmed by it all.

The opportunity to spend some... time with you outside of the tea shop was a necessity, right? Keigo’s original idea had been to drop off some food and banter for a while, but the idea of spending one of his precious nights off with you was so much better than he could’ve expected.

Not to mention the warm bit of validation sparked by the fact that you asked him to come over, you wanted him around —

It felt nice.

So nice.

You paused, hearing telltale scuffing of someone on your balcony.

Oh my god.

He’s here.

Hawks is here.

You gulped, shaking your head.

Don’t you dare chicken out now. Commit, dammit. You’re just... hanging out. With your friend.

Yeah.

A knock on the glass pulled you to the door of your balcony, hobbling to slide it open on your crutches.

Hawks was happy to push the door the rest of the way open, stepping inside with a bag of takeout slung on his arm.

Your mouth parched, seeing him once again in civilian clothing. Was it... normal to get turned on by the fact that he looked normal?

As Hawks stepped into your humble apartment, wings tucked tightly to his back, you drank him in, hair ruffled with his clear visor placed on top of his head to push back the windswept front pieces. He wore a white sweater and black trousers complete with heavy black boots that were quickly untied and left by the door.

“You’re staring, you know,” Hawks interrupted your thoughts as you straightened up on your crutches.

Recover.

“Can’t prove that,” You tutted, crutching away from the door. “Also, welcome. Watch out for my cats, they might try to get a mouthful of your feathers.”

“Duly noted,” Hawks clicked his tongue, standing up and following you as you meander to the kitchen.

Keigo had to admit that your apartment was relatively... cute. He was used to his own, seldom-used digs. He had a big, uncomfortably nice penthouse with too many disused rooms and too much open space. Fixtures and furniture that were too expensive, probably, but it had been far easier to hire some big-name interior designer and not bother with dealing with it himself. Keigo had trouble keeping many ‘personal’ possessions, anyways. His training with the Commission made him almost revile the thought of keeping unnecessary, material objects, sans a few.

Your home was the exact opposite.

Maybe it was that he didn’t know how to have a personal touch that it made your cozy little apartment feel so full of them.

Little photos and artworks on walls or in frames caught Keigo’s eyes as he followed you to the kitchen. He took note of several blankets on the couch, catching sight of the plushie he’d given you at the hospital. Even the lighting of the apartment was personal, diffuse. With how easily overstimulated you became, it made sense that you’d keep your apartment so ambiently dim.

“So, first off, thank you for coming by and delivering dinner. I am eternally grateful,” You bowed dramatically, leaning to flail out a crutch at the motion. “Second, as payment, I’ll make you a drink. Maybe not with my quirk, but I have some of my old tea blends here.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Keigo shrugged, setting the takeout down on the counter while his ever-present grin nearly hurt his face from how relentless it was. “And tea? Show me what you’ve got. Or, should I trust you to pick one out for me?”

You hummed, clicking your tongue before moving across the kitchen to a different set of cabinets, “I think I’ve actually got a good one for you. It’s one of my favorites.”

“Lay on the details, angel,” Keigo hummed, leaning against the lip of the counter.

You did have the perfect blend in mind. It wasn’t too old, hardly stale. It would pair as well as a nice tea could with fried takeout, judging by the smells wafting from the bag on the counter.

“It’s one I made for a brunch we catered a few months back. It’s just a white tea raspberry blend, but it’s not delicate. It should stand up to any sort of food you’ve brought. Thank you, by the way.”

Setting your crutches down, you started to push yourself up onto the counter without thinking much of it, booted-foot going limp off the edge.

“Of course, anytime— woah, angel,” His voice choked as you wavered on the edge of the counter, off-balance.

There was a short flap of wings and rush of air as you tried to rebalance, cursing the deadweight of your leg.

If Hawks hadn’t been directly behind you, you probably would’ve eaten shit.

You turned yourself as far as you could, cheeks going hot.

Hawks’ face was just inches away from yours. That was even to mention the hands hovering around your waist, chest brushing up against your back.

“S-sorry,” Did he just fucking stutter? “You looked like you were about to eat shit there.”

The words hardly reach you, you were too busy actively telling yourself not to stare at his pretty, plump lips because that is not something friends do. Not the can of worms you needed to open, right?

“I-,” You turned away from him, stretching up to the tea tin that had been out of your reach. “To think you’ve saved me from falling while reaching for loose leaf tea, twice.”

“All in a day's work,” His hands twitched around your sides but hardly shifted until you began to descend from the countertop. In fact, Hawks hardly moved away at all until you were situated back on your crutches.

You pretended not to notice the flush on his cheeks.

Maybe, it was a bit too close. Definitely too close, and bad circumstances, but god, you wanted more and more of him.

You swallowed your desires down, cracking a smile.

Be normal.

Be cool!

You shook the tin, leaves and dried fruit rattling inside, “So, cream or sugar?”

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The two of you ended up on the couch, picking through the several boxes of takeout that Hawks had brought. Most of dinner was spent bantering back and forth about one of Hawks’ newest modeling contracts and if it was ‘ethical’ for him to wear his own feathers for the sake of ‘fashion’?

“So, off-topic from insulting my employment ethics, ” Hawks spoke while munching on a piece of chicken. “You surviving?”

“Barely,” You laughed, setting down your utensils with a huff. “I forget how isolation makes you go a little crazy. I’m running out of dumb shit to watch and even dumber shit to send you.”

Hawks snorted, setting down his own box, having had his fill, “I know you are more than adept at combing the internet for more good shit to send me.”

“I mean, maybe, but you keep sending me juicy photos of you being a dumbass. They’re hard to show up, you know?” You side-eyed him at the birdish tilt of his head.

“You don’t need to show me up, angel,” Hawks reminded you, some feathers packing up what was left of the food. “Though, it’s fun. You’re fun.”

You internally winced at the sentiment but forced the smile on your face not to waver.

It was a needed reminder.

This close to Hawks, you could fucking smell him. Maybe it was a little creepy, but you remembered it so well, after the villain attack. The scent of some sort of spicy cologne and old sweat, but it was hardly unpleasant. No, it was intoxicating. It made you feel almost fuzzy, as it wafted around like some reminder that Hawks and you were so close.

You thanked the stars that the apartment lacked the stimuli to make your quirk activate on its own.

Your couch wasn’t very large, and it seemed even smaller with how Hawks had laid his wings over it. They were propped up over the back, outstretched just the smallest bit to relieve some pressure. All the same, the massive feathers made you feel minuscule.

Even the way he was sitting was intoxicating and a bit gut-wrenching. It was casual, the way he leaned back against the far cushions, legs somewhat spread with an ankle over the opposite knee. The pose oozed a weird, untouchable confidence that you hadn’t seen in Hawks in months, maybe ever. At least, not directed at you.

Despite the warm nature of his words, he seemed guarded.

It made your throat dry.

Keigo was quite on edge. He hadn’t meant to get so close in the kitchen, really, he hadn’t. But, seeing you dangling off the edge of the counter like that, even if it was harmless and mundane, made his entire body and mind react before he could think.

But, you weren’t in any danger. Even if you had been, Keigo would’ve been there to catch you.

He’d put himself out of it, overthinking the whole thing. You were fine. Safe.

The other part of his mind spun with how he wanted to be so much closer.

Feeling the warmth of your body, the lines of your waist, the thrum of your heart and breath so fucking close—

It was a lot.

But, he was well-trained and not going to choke.

He’d shoved himself to the opposite side of the couch to you, keeping his boundaries up, strong as steel and hard as carbon.

Of course, Keigo knew the feelings were mutual. That didn’t mean that none of this was terrifying in the same way that it was exhilarating.

As much as he wanted to be closer (so much closer), Keigo remained careful. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was ruin something before it had even truly happened.

You sat back against the couch, repositioning your injured leg on the coffee table, “So, thoughts.”

“On?”

You didn’t look at Keigo as you replied, rather glared at your TV, “What to watch?”

“Oh,” You could hear the smile in his voice. “We’re watching something?”

“You tell me. I imagine you don’t get lots of time to do this sort of thing, do you?”

Hawks didn’t reply for a moment, sitting deeper into the couch, “Not really.”

“Then indulge, tailfeathers,” You tossed the remote in his lap. “Anything, go for it. Go nuts.”

Hawks nearly put on watching a reality cooking show, before you said that that was off-limits, per an odd conversation from way back when where he had admitted to be hot for Gordon Ramsey. He had been a little too vague as to whether or not he would pop a boner from Gordon’s filmed degradations. And truthfully, if anything was gonna give Hawks a hard-on tonight, you were determined for it not to be competitive cooking TV. Maybe, just maybe, you’d rather it be you.

...

Eventually, he settled on some psychological thriller you’d never heard of.

Keigo hadn’t either.

He was glad that you couldn’t hear his heart in the same way he heard your’s pounding.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched you crutch around, turning the already dim lights lower.

Calm the down, Hawks.

Calm the fuck down.

He’d never even done this before. Keigo wasn’t sure how to handle the situation, even if it was as simple as watching a film.

It would’ve been simpler if the tension in the air was thick and foggy, clouding over his consciousness as he tried to focus on anything other than your nearness and how much he wanted to drag you into his lap.

…

His feathers fluttered as you plopped back onto the couch, pulling a blanket over your lap and offering one to him.

He took it, settling it over his lap as the movie went on.

You weren’t an idiot. You could feel the blood rushing in your hot ears as you fisted the blanket over your legs.

Your mind spoke a lot louder than you wanted it to:

Just fucking do it.

Do what exactly?

The paramount thought that was causing anxiety to twirl in your gut.

Maybe, you could just tell him how you felt.

Maybe just hold his hand.

Maybe get fucking rejected because he’s out of your league and out of bounds.

Maybe even kiss him—

You were torturing yourself, the movie just background noise to your internal dilemma.

You’d asked him to your apartment and Hawks had bought you fucking dinner. That wasn’t a lot, sure, maybe, but there were also the months of lead-up.

There were all of the cold mornings and cheeky grins you gave each other in the waking coffee shop. There were the fuzzy jokes, the lingering glances, and the tight feeling you got in your chest whenever he graced you with mere eye contact.

It felt like you were already in too deep to not be honest about how you felt towards him. Fuck, you’d been in too deep for months. Every time you made him a damn drink, you wanted to just drink him in. You were all fluttering hearts and sweet smiles for him in a way that you couldn’t suppress, only squash in moments of such intense anxiety like this—

“Hey, dove?” It was Hawks, shocking you from your turmoil with a soft voice. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah, I’m good.” Your reply was curt and clipped.

Make a decision now.

Pull the bandage off, (Y/N).

It’ll just be worse, the longer you wait.

Maybe Hawks did just want to fuck with some cute feelings, the seemingly longing looks be damned. Yeah, you liked him way more than for just a fuck, that was obvious and unavoidable. Besides, it’d be better to know than to not know, right?

“You sure? If the movie’s too much, we can turn it off,” Hawks sounded genuinely concerned from the other side of the couch.

...

You committed, taking a deep breath and turning to Hawks.

“It’s not that,” You looked at the couch between the two of you, tracing the seam of the cushion. “The movie’s fine.”

“Then, you’re not feeling great for another reason?” Keigo asked, feeling each of your breaths and heartbeats like bass drums in his ears. He hides the shaking of his hands by crossing them over his chest. “You can talk to me, (Y/N).”

“Can I?” You asked, shaking your head and laughing at yourself. “Hawks, I need to do something really fucking stupid.”

Holy fuck.

Are they—

“What’s that?”

His voice was smaller than he wanted it to be.

“Fuck, Hawks,” You finally forced yourself to look at him, taking in his guarded posture and pained expression.

Your heart sank.

“I just need to be honest with you.”

Hawks’s brow soured, lips twitching, “Go for it, dove.”

You laughed, maybe trying to soothe yourself, “It’s probably is just, so fucking stupid, all things considered.”

You ran a hand through your hair, biting your lip between sentences and willing yourself to just get it out—

“Hawks, I like you. A lot.”

He still didn’t say anything and you could feel shards of your heart drive into your lungs.

You forced yourself to look up at him, smiling with the slight release of tension in your sternum, however painful.

“I know, we’re just friends, right? I’m just the barista and you’re my special, pro hero regular. I know I’m overstepping right now, but it feels unfair for me to not be honest with you.”

Keigo already knew this, right? He knew how you felt, fuck, he’d felt how you felt. He just wasn’t prepared for the exploding and thrumming in his chest when you told him with your sweet lips and kind words.

Why did it feel so different when you were smiling at him like you were in pain and telling him so fucking honestly with your words?

It was the thing about you that he admired the most, that candor in your tone and the grin in your cheeks as you spoke so.

But, your smile was falling, leaving watery-looking eyes.

“Hawks, I like you. Way too much for friends, and I needed to say something.”

Keigo’s mouth was dry.

For the first time in so fucking long, he was genuinely speechless.

He couldn’t recall a time in his life anyone had spoken so earnestly to him, just you. Just you, you, you— casually, over and over again, you talked to him like he was something real and something to be cared for. It was subtle, but it was one of the many things that made him want you closer.

Yet, despite all his bundled up desires, he was lost for words.

“I’m sorry—”

He stopped you, “(Y/N), please don’t apologize.”

“But—”

“(Y/N).”

Hawks’ voice was sharp. It made the expression on your face rapidly fall.

He looked at you with rapt attention, arms uncrossing from his chest.

He turned to you on the couch, feathers fluffed up and twitching.

Your nose stung as Hawks, all pretty golds and ambers, shook out an exhale and balled up the blanket in his lap.

“Hawks—”

“Why would you need to be sorry?”

Hawks looked at you with wide eyes, brow creased. His shoulders were... shaking?

Your head spun, leg aching, “... What do you mean?”

Hawks finally met your gaze, giving you the sweetest, saddest smile you’d ever seen, “Dove, you’re acting like there’s no way I could feel the same way.”

Every cell in your body stuttered.

“You’ve done it since we’ve met.”

Hawks scooted closer on the cushions of the couch.

“You’ve always acted like there’s just no way I could like you, give a shit about you—”

He moved a bit closer.

You couldn’t make yourself move.

“You want to know the truth?”

You creaked out a nod.

Keigo couldn’t help the way he went to cup your cheeks in his hands, thumbs rubbing along the apples of your cheeks. You lean into his touch, just like at the hospital, despite the blend of absolute fear and confusion in your expression.

“How could I not care about you, dove?” And it finally came out. “I care about so much— dove, I don’t know what to fucking say.”

That made you speechless, lips parting just the slightest bit as Hawks continued, losing composure with his morphing expressions.

He wet his lips, swallowing, “Dove, I’ve never—any of this. I-I don’t know what o-or how to say any of what I want to right now.”

You speak before thinking.

“Show me, if you don’t know how to say it.”

The idea seemed so novel as Keigo ran a thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it from between your teeth. He met your gaze with the gooiest, sweetest look you’d ever seen in your life, “You want me to?”

“Please.”

It was all the two of you had wanted for a while now, right?

“If I kiss you, I’m not ever gonna be able to make this go away, am I?” Keigo was speaking to himself, just above his breath. But, you were more than close enough to hear him.

“Hey, Hawks? I don’t know if we can make ‘this’ try to go away.” You grabbed one of the hands cupping your face, pulling it away, only to shakily press in your lips to the bones on the back of it. “I don’t want to anymore.”

“Y-you gotta stop being so sweet, (Y/N)—”

Neither of you could wait a moment longer.

Your arms wrapped around Keigo’s shoulder. In the same motions, he pulled you closer by your waist, dragging you finally closer to him.

He held your jaw like you were the most precious thing in the world. Because, truthfully, you were to him. The sentiment was shared Deeply.

Your lips pressed together and the long-held tensions in your chests mutually shattered, dissolving in the honeyed touch of each other’s genuine attention.

You angled your head perfectly, Keigo’s hand guiding you as his mouth worked against yours. It wasn’t a particularly steamy sort of affair, but by god, it wasn’t in any way chaste. Not with the tight grip and thumbing on your ribs. Not with the way your hands tangled in the soft (holy fuck, soft) hair at the base of Keigo’s skull.

You both tasted each other's sweetness, craving more of it after denying yourselves of it for so long. It was white-hot, exploding behind your eyes, even as your quirk remained dormant. Keigo was honey and cream and smoked spices all dancing across your palette.

To Keigo? You were sweet, cool water over a hot burn. You were the heat of a hearth rolling over him on the coldest of days. He swears that in the first moments he finally got to be close to you, and over and over again— he finally understood how your quirk worked.

There was no way that finally feeling you, feeling you as he felt you, could be described with just five senses.

You pulled away first, gasping for breath and arching your back into him. You lingered as close as you could, pressing your forehead to Keigo’s while your breaths mingled. You didn’t dare stray far.

“Was that enough to show you?” Keigo asked, breathless. He kept a wide hand against your back, urging you with a bit of soft pressure to put your weight into it. You complied, settling in his hold as Keigo stroked at your hot cheeks.

You nodded, beaming up at him with that sunny smile of yours. It never failed to make heat burn through Keigo and god, did it feel good to finally let it unabashed.

“I take it, you like me too, huh,” You smiled, looking a bit embarrassed.

“Very much, very much,” Keigo repeated, pressing a kiss to your nose (he’d always wanted to do that). “So much, (Y/N). I apologize for not saying anything sooner. This is just...”

“New to you, right?” You finished his sentence, thumbing along the back of his neck in a way that made Keigo just melt. “It’s been a while for me too, if it makes you feel better.”

“It does, dove. Thank you.” Keigo let out a deep breath, shaking his head against yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

“It’s alright, same goes for me,” As much as you needed to adjust due to the angle of your recovering leg, you couldn’t make yourself do it. You were so wonderfully close to Hawks, you never wanted to move.

“If we’re being honest, then I need to be honest with you,” Hawks met your eyes, his expression going a little dimmer.

You braced for the worst.

He picked up your shift easily, finally able to express how quickly he caught your mood after so long of being attuned to it.

“Oh wait, no, (Y/N), nothing terrible, I promise,” Hawks rubbed at your sides. “It’s about the miel.”

“The... miel?” You cocked your head to the side, confused, recalling the drink somewhat hazily. “The drink I made you on the day of... the attack?”

Hawks gave you a tense smile, “That one, yeah. Remember how you said it was just based on your ambient feelings?”

“Uh-huh.” You let confusion lace your tone until it slowly started to dawn on you.

“You made the drink, ambiently, around me—”

Your eyes widened, mouth falling open, “Oh my god, Hawks, did my feelings for you get in the drink?”

Hawks graced you with a sweet, sympathetic smile, fingers tucking at the hair around your ear, “They did, dove. I’ve kind of known for a few days, it just hasn’t been the time or setting to say something. I apologize.”

“N-no, it’s okay, I totally understand,” You sighed into his grip. “I really thought it might be something worse.”

“Consider your worries assuaged,” Hawks hummed, eyes drifting to your boot. He deadpanned suddenly. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad does your leg hurt right now?”

Fairly bad, considering. You were half on your knees, the booted leg twisted awkwardly while still raised to the coffee table. This wasn’t even to mention the arch of your back so you could be all that closer to Hawks.

The pain of the position was easy to forget; you were still shaking from kissing Hawks just once.

“Uh, maybe like a seven, once I can feel anything other than how good you felt just now,” you hummed, grinning up at Hawks as his face went bright red.

The infinite pleasure you received, making him blush so sweetly.

He shook it off, squeezing your sides, “Cute. Very cute. Mutually returned sentiment, but let’s adjust.”

You nodded but didn’t have much time to react as a bundle of Hawks’s feathers lifted you every which way, albeit incredibly gently. All said and done, he was fully upright against the back of the couch. With the support of a feather or two, Hawks’s arms tugged you into his lap. Your legs stretched to the side, the booted one immediately propped up by a feather-supplied pillow.

You both settled yourselves, blushing and leaning on each other now that you finally were allowing yourself to.

Keigo fully wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tight against him. One of his wings even shifted to drape over one his shoulder, sheltering the two of you in a canopy of a crimson. Keigo let his hands wander over your hips, not seeking anything more than blessed attention and heat. You gave it all to him, tucking your face into his collarbone, drowning in the scent that made you feel at home.

Keigo pressed his lips to your crown and legitimately shuddering.

He spoke to himself, so faintly and quietly, you hardly caught it, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

There was melancholy in his voice, but you were quick to strip it away.

You brushed your lips along his jaw, savoring the way he held you tighter, “I have too. Can we do this more?”

“Anytime, dove. Anytime.”

“Right now sound good?”

You withdrew to beam up at him as you were so good at doing, only to be smothered by craving-satiating kisses anywhere Keigo could get to. The sweet, high laughter that he dripped onto you made your heart burst all over again.

And you finally, finally fell into the other sweetly, warmly, and properly.

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