#but i'm so not ready for what's to come | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

naotoacedetectiveshirogane · 7 months

Text

I finally got to where Law first shows up in the One Piece anime and I can see why everyone loves him. I might end up loving him too ngl.

At the same time I know I'm getting closer to Marineford Arc and I'm not ready to suffer. I love Ace too much, yet I wanna keep watching.

One Piece why are you so good! But you also make me so emotional! Even when I already know what's going to happen!

Watch/Read One Piece fr, it's worth it.

#i'm so emotional over this anime #every arc gives me major feels #i love it #it's so good #but i'm so not ready for what's to come #ace my boy #my love #gaaah #okay i'm okay #maybe #one piece #trafalgar law #portgas d. ace #fire husband

29 notes · View notes

knifearo · 5 months

Text

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

8K notes · View notes

mroddmod · 1 month

Text

"everybody loved contractors."

"nice."

#me when it's time to get mentally ill about another troubled father daughter duo #anyway i watched the show last year and ever since i wanted to play the game so i finally did #finished it like a month ago and then rewatched the show twice #so #i guess u could say i enjoyed it a fair deal 👍#gonna start the second game soon #i know what's coming but i'm still not ready so i've been putting it off LOL #the last of us #the last of us hbo #tlou #tlou hbo #joel miller #ellie williams #my art #mods draws

414 notes · View notes

sysig · 6 months

Photo

Ellen McLain’s commentary from my trivia playthrough

#She's so cute <3 #WPP #Portal #Ellen McLain #If you haven't played through the audio commentary I would Absolutely recommend it it is So fun #I clicked out of curiosity - kind of just expecting like a movie's audio commentary y'know? Like a video that highlighted specific scenes #No it's just the whole game again but with trivia pop-ups! I love that!!#It reminded me so much of like trivia track or the pop up fun facts from special editions of movies I would watch as a kid #But you can play through them!! You have to click on them and they spin! I love that!!!#I always love hearing the design and development process - fascinating how the playtesters reacted to this new game!#We take it for granted now but yeah I imagine it would've been very confusing at the time #And I was like ''Well it was such a small team and Ms. McLain was such a large part of it - surely she'll have a few bubbles?''#She does lol - as soon as I got to her first one (it was a slow burn! They buried the lead with her lol I'm already invested!) I had to go #I saved-quit the game out of sheer excitement and giddiness lol I had to sleep on it before I was ready to come back #It is so cool to hear her natural voice ah <3 And the kinds of direction she was given! Other bubbles also talk about her vocal direction :)#Very cool! I wonder what TTS they used for reference :0 #But to hear her real laugh without the audio processing over and and she still sounds like GLaDOS! I mean of course she does but just jfdksl #That's /her/ laugh! They share a laugh! It's a very similar laugh!!#Not to mention her talking about wanting to play and just fdskalfd they clearly did such a good job with her performance and ahhh #It's too cute it's all too cute sharing a room with GLaDOS while her voice actor talks about making a cake to share with her friends stopppp #I am so enamoured <3 #I also took a bunch of screenshots of GLaDOS still shit-talking while she was being destroyed lol #Actually beat the ending in one try this time :P I ran out of time the last time pfft #But now I've beaten it twice in as many days :D Although I did start it the first time several days ago - but I beat it again quickly!#Has me all the more itching to replay 2 ♪#WPVG

371 notes · View notes

sergle · 4 months

Text

I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it

#I love the cherry red / wine red and I'll probably go back at some point bc it's my Origin.#but for now.#I don't actively lie to people but bc it's a Natural and Plausible hair color #and I'm already pale and I dye my eyebrows to match my hair. ppl figure it's natural #and it has come up MULTIPLE TIMES. and I've recently been rolling with it instead of correcting ppl. bc who cares?#recent examples that come to mind (but I did correct them in this one) my surgeon assuming it was natural #and using my genetics as a natural redhead as a baseline to tell me about what I can expect from my future scarring #and then again later with the anesthesia. they were going to dose me differently #the anesthesiologist glanced at me when I came into the OR and was getting the stuff ready on his cart #and when he heard me talking to my doc and re-telling him that oh the hair isn't natural #he was behind the curtain like FUCK #taking shit off his cart and quietly redoing his setup #that's how I learned that redheads need higher doses of anesthesia than other ppl.#they also need more of the topical stuff like lidocaine. apparently they metabolize it faster(?)#ANYWAY he was going to up my dose thinking I needed it lol #so i almost got way more sedatives and pain meds than i needed bc of my hair dye LMAOOO #other more Normal Life examples was a country dude in full hunting gear holding a door open for me someplace #and I said thank you and he lifted his hat up to point at his (natural) red hair and said ''twins!''#this one sticks with me because that was such a cute thing to do. what the hell #and at snakefest I was talking to some people at their food truck. there was an older guy who trapped me into a convo for like 30mins #he was Very Nice. and they were going to some type of irish festival next and said I should go too bc I'll be right at home #flat out just was like. this bitch looks irish #and I don't know why all of this is so funny to me. it has no reason to be.

195 notes · View notes

wikiangela · 17 days

Text

fuck it friday

tagged by @tizniz @bidisasterbuckdiaz @honestlydarkprincess 💖💖

still on my bucktommy bs, I'll be back to buddie but i'm too obsessed with tommy/lou to think about anything else rn lol

so here's a bit of something short I'm wiriting for 7x05 from tommy's pov, idk what this is, what it's gonna be, but I wanna finish it tonight or maybe by the end of the weekend so posting it here to motivate myself and also tell me what y'all think bc the more i reread all of it the more i doubt myself lol

___

It took him some time, plus a lot of self-reflection and just taking it one step at a time, letting himself look at other men, this time consciously and sometimes deliberately, noticing how hot they are, how they make him feel. He let himself feel how they make him feel. It took a minute to stop feeling guilty and ashamed, and to rework all those internalized prejudices that had been ingrained in him his whole life.

He gave himself time, a lot of time, started with just chatting with guys on dating apps, later got the courage for some casual dates, and when he met the man who would be his first actual boyfriend, his first gay relationship, that he genuinely liked, he felt ready to pursue that. It didn’t work out then, that’s just life, but it was a good relationship, because he was ready for it. Now he feels settled and comfortable with himself, feels confident, and knows what he wants. And he wants- he wants love. He doesn’t want to put any pressure on any relationship he might start, but ultimately, that’s the goal. Love.

He really doesn’t mind being this first to Evan. He likes Evan. He has those bright blue eyes that seem to shine their own light, and that wide, excited smile that makes it impossible not to smile back, with that adorable dimple accompanying it, that makes Tommy melt a little every time he sees it. Plus, those perfect, kissable lips he can’t wait to taste again, and the distinctive birthmark just adding to the charm. And he’s big and strong and so hot, too. And he’s just so nice, and so adorable and endearing, and he’s so easy to talk to. Tommy just wants to keep getting to know him, spend time with him, develop this relationship and see where it can go. And with any luck, maybe this one could last, could be something real.

The thing is, Tommy is ready for serious. He can take it slow, give Evan time to figure everything out, but he’d also like to know where he stands. He would never want to pressure him to come out before he’s ready, but he also knows he doesn’t want to be anyone’s dirty little secret. Been there, done that.

Still, he would be fine with keeping it just to him and Evan for now, for as long as Evan needs. But then…

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @neverevan @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @underwater-ninja-13 @exhuastedpigeon @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @theotherbuckley @buddieswhvre @dangerpronebuddie @diazsdimples @fortheloveofbuddie @hoodie-buck @your-catfish-friend @hippolotamus @daffi-990

86 notes · View notes

fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 1 year

Text

I've been reading Exodus lately and I've just gotten to the portions where God gives the first commands to the people via Moses (twice), and then goes on to give detailed instructions about the tabernacle and how it should be built, and I'm just... we think art is unimportant?? we think things only mean as much as their functionality?? we so easily fall into the trap of believing that beauty means nothing, that it's cheap and only worth whatever mindless distraction it brings, that it's barely more than a cheap sensual thrill, that buildings should just be practical and plain and cheap, that everything should be functional but ultimately disposable, that paintings and dresses and mugs and curtains and carpets are just pretty but have no real value, that beauty is fleeting and vain and therefore shouldn't be thought about too much, if even looked for at all... we fall into these traps so easily, and we forget that there are chapters upon chapters of painstakingly detailed plans to build one portable worship tent, and those plans have been handed down through thousands of years of human history, because beauty and art and skill in craft is important

#I have to go get ready for work now but I will come back to this #and don't even get me started on the parts about God calling specific craftsmen *by name*#he called them!! by name!!! he said 'this man is good at his job. he creates beautiful work. he will build my temple and make it beautiful'#and even more--God inspired him!!!! it was a calling of GOD for him to create beautiful carvings and tapestries and candlesticks!!!#look even if you're not jewish or christian or religious at all you have GOT to see what it means that all these incredibly detailed plans #for building this tent-temple are extremely important #because even if you don't believe in God and don't think that this is all significant bc he personally gave the instructions #and then helped preserve this record of them so we could still read them today #you do have to see how important they were to the people of that time who first wrote them down #and the extreme care that was taken to record all of those detail #AND the fact that it's been preserved for so long and we can still read all the care that was put into creating this incredible piece #of artwork and worship they made #gurt says stuff #I just. gahhfhhfj. I'm feeling emotional about chapters of the Bible that I can't even fully force myself to pay attention to #bc there's so MUCH and I'm bad at visualizing this stuff and I tend to zone out while listening to it #but the fact that it IS that much!!! that there SO MUCH DETAIL and it goes on for SO LONG that I even struggle to pay attention!!!#that this was THAT IMPORTANT to the people who wrote it and to God!!! as an artist and someone who has always cared about art #this means so much to me ok #christianity #bible verse #bible thoughts #exodus #art #theology

616 notes · View notes

tapakah0 · 5 months

Text

I HAVE NO IDEA IF I'M FITTING FOR THIS I HAVE 0 PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO WORK WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT EXPERIENCE?? I MEAN I AM READY TO DO SOMETHING IF I CAN DO IT BUT I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT I REALLY CAN DO SOMETHING FOR IT I HAVE TIME, ENOUGH TIME, I DON'T NEED MONEY, BUT I'M JUST SCARED THAT IT MIGHT BE DIFFICULT DUE TO THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE AND LACK IN A LOT OF THINGS I AM AN ENJOYER OF THIS SERIES, NOT A CREATOR, I AM EXITED TO SEE THINGS FOR IT, I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS GOOD OF ME TO GET INSIDE OF IT LIKE THIS

#JUST LISTEN #I'M SCARED TO TAKE ON SOMETHING #Sorry for so much caps I am still very emotional #I'm scared that I might screw something #I'm scared that I might not get something right #I'm scared to disappoint #I want to make my work good #that means time effort passion experience #The only things I might fit for is... animation?.. but again I'm pretty sure there's not just a sketchy kind of line #These things are literally more complicated than they look like #because they need to be clean for final product and bigger screens #In their recent animation IT'S JUST DID YOU SEE IT?? COME ON???#I think I'm better as a watcher because it is VERY complicated to work with a non experienced human being #Sorry it all might sound strange HA-HA you see I am so ready to do something for it #but what I literally can do for it?? That's another question because I will need to be led in EVERYTHING I'm a nood that will need a teache #and it will be HELL

206 notes · View notes

schmweed · 4 months

Text

#David Tennant #DI Alec Hardy #Broadchurch #my gifs #Damn the tenderness! The kindness!#The way he tries to soften the irreversible blow by easing her into it #Asking her first what she was doing #in order to then ask if she saw Joe come to bed #and then coming to her side of the table #Alec Hardy is the kindest man Broadchurch will ever have the privilege of knowing #the way he scrambles up and rushes over to be there for her as she falls apart #the way he keeps a steadying comforting hand on her #the way he has his hand out ready to steady her even when he's not touching her!#the way he keeps his voice as non-threatening and non-challenging as possible every time she pleads & he has to shatter her hopes #oh also! also! the way he considers for a long time when she asks to see Joe #He KNOWS it's against procedure. He KNOWS she's unstable now. But he can't not give her the only thing she asked for that he can give.#I'm going to gif this scene over and over so if using the Broadchurch tag is abusing the tag pls someone let me know #and I'll make up my own tag for Broadchurch #I need to do a gifset that includes Ellie but it will have to be side by side #and I want to do another gifset with only the gifs that have the same angle because it's sth my autistic brain won't shut up abt #oh my heart those two! <3 <3 <3 #These are seven gifs. Is that a long post? I don't know if I should tag this as long post #I'm very sorry to anyone who felt this was a long post and I didn't tag it. I hate that color of the sky post. it's unrelentingly long #I'm sincerely sorry if this is the same situation

144 notes · View notes

gregoftom · 1 year

Video

greg not only being tom’s attack dog, but his therapy dog, sheepdog, guide dog, watchdog, service dog

#tomgreg #just having a bit of fun with this episode :)#i just can't get over the scene where everybody is coming at tom at all angles #mirroring what he says at the beginning and he fully exposes how dependant he is on greg and how much he leans on him #and greg steps up and tries to corral the siblings bc tom can't breathe #and then tom begs him please PLEASE and greg tries to lead them all ESPECIALLY shiv bc he knows tom is vulnerable right now and #shiv is dangerous re: guard dog #ALSO THE NOPE YOU CAN GIVE IT TO ME BILLY I DIDNT NOTICE THAT FIRST GO ROUND #and tom looks and POSSIBLY smiles at him??? :(( sigh. he appreciates the readiness in which greg is acting in his side of the partnership #something tom hasn't really gotten before...... sigh. sigh #and the end like i Know it was for greg himself but it was for tom too i'm putting my foot down #especially with fry her ass up at the beginning here it's even easier to associate the two #plus the whole information is like fine wine etc etc. it was for himself And for tom #iwould go so far as to say Especially For tom. don't @ me

399 notes · View notes

whiskey-tango-matcha · 2 months

Text

for me, nothing hits quite like someone who's sick but like...still in a good mood? like either ignoring it or admitting they're not well but still pleasant to be around. like they sneeze and someone asks if they're ok and they just roll their eyes and say "yeah i just have a stupid fuckin cold" 🫠😳👁️👄👁️🤩

#if you've read anything I've written you already know my love for this #today it's inspired by my husband who started coming down w something yesterday #and he's just like. idk. rocking with it ig lmao #off topic but I'm almost ready to start writing again. i know it's been like over a month #but it's been a T O U G H month and then i started feeling emotionally better and i got sick hahahahah ofc #but things are better now. things are looking up haha #so i promise I'll be back at it soon #& ya I'm going to finish foh boh but if you have requests you can send them. i never know what will spark the writing bug #k I'm out byeee ✌️

70 notes · View notes

yazthebookish · 10 months

Text

I just reread the bonus chapter and I'm just, as always, struck by how fucking obvious Gwyn and Azriel's set up is.

✨ He found it already occupied. His shadows had not warned him. It was too late to bank without appearing like he was running, Azriel landed in the ring a few feet from where Gwyn practiced in the chill night, her sword glimmering like ice in the moonlight.

I'm telling you those shadows are going to play wingmen for Az.

✨ His shadows peered over his wings at her. The young priestess smiled--and Azriel thought it might have been directed at his curious shadows.

Does anyone ever really smile at his shadows except for Gwyn 😭

✨ "Happy Solstice," she said, as much a dismissal as it was a holiday blessing. -- He snorted. "Are you kicking me out?" -- Gwyn's teal eyes flashed with alarm. "No! I mean, I don't mind sharing the ring. I just...I know you like to be alone." Her mouth quirked to the side, crinkling the freckles on her nose. "Is that why you came up here?"

Gwyn really indirectly said he was going to be a brooding ass so let's wish him a happy solstice and let him go and he still teased her back instead of taking the opening she gave him. Also, no one pays enough attention to this detail but SHE KNOWS he likes to be alone 👀 girl is paying close attention to him alright 👀

✨ Sort of. "I forgot something," he reminded her. -- "At two in the morning?" Pure amusement glittered in her stare. Better than the pain and grief he'd spied a moment before. So he offered her a crooked smile. "I can't sleep without my favorite dagger."-- "A comfort to every growing child." -- Azriel's lips twitched.

Gwyn has no filters on I love her 😂😂😂 she really indirectly called his lying ass out.

✨ "How was the party?" Her breath curled in front of her mouth, and one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music. -- "Fine," he said, and realized a heartbeat later that it wasn’t a socially acceptable answer. "It was nice." Not much better. So he asked, "Did you and the priestesses have a celebration?"

For a 500+ year old immortal Az you should've been better at this game, but I'm proud of you for at least being self-aware and trying to have a normal conversation. 2/5 on the effort but still appreciated.

✨ She angled her head, hair shining like molten metal. "Do you sing?” -- He blinked. It wasn't every day that people took him by surprise, but..."Why do you ask?" -- "They call you shadowsinger. Is it because you sing?" -- “I am a shadowsinger--it's not a title that someone just made.” -- She shrugged again, irreverently. Az narrowed his eyes, studying her. "Do you, though?" she pressed. "Sing?" -- Azriel couldn't help his soft chuckle. "Yes."

1. Not many people take him by surprise but she did. -- 2. I wouldn't be surprised because it's funny as hell if she asked him because of shadowSINGER -- 3. Azriel taking offense and reaffirming he is, in fact, a SHADOWSINGER. -- 4. Sarah confirmed there will be a scene of him singing, as far as we know Gwyn is likely the only character who knows he does, also the fact that SJM created something common between the two of them and it's that they both sing? -- 5. It's sweet to think that Gwyn wanted to know something about him and asked him about something she herself loves to do, which is sing.

✨ "I blame Cassian for this. He's too busy making eyes at Nesta to notice such mistakes these days." Azriel laughed. "I’ll give you that."

Gwyn complaining about Nessian and Az is like "I can relate " 😂

✨ Gwyn smiled broadly. "Thank you." -- Azriel dipped his head in a sketch of a bow, something restless settling in him. Even his shadows had calmed. As if content to lounge on his shoulders and watch.

She smiled at him and both him and his shadows felt calm 🥹 like compare how aloof and depressed he was at the start of his scene with Gwyn to him feeling this just after one conversation with her 😭😭 it's so 😭😭 I love them so fucking much.

✨ Gwyn nodded her farewell, again facing the ribbon. A warrior sizing up an opponent, all traces of that charming irreverence gone. Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer.

"That charming irreverence" Gwyn is so unapologetic about that irreverence I love her for it -- also, that's a clear, in-your-face, clue about a mating bond. I stand by that and my opinion remains unchanged since I first read the bonus chapter in 2021.

✨ Clotho was smart enough to see through his deflection. She wrote, "I’ll give it to Gwyneth, Tell her a friend left it for her". -- He wouldn't go so far as to call Gwyn a friend, but... "Fine. Thank you."

I don't really find this alarming when people try to push into my face. It's obvious they're not in love "yet" and Azriel doesn't have any friends outside the IC, he doesn't know how to label it. It's still early to even label it. That "but..." leaves an opening there.

✨ Clotho's pen moved once more. She deserves something as beautiful as this. I thank you for the joy it shall bring to her. -- Something sparked in Azriel's chest, but he only nodded his thanks and left. He could picture it, though, as he ascended the stairs back to the House proper. How Gwyn's teal eyes might light upon seeing the necklace. For whatever reason... he could see it. -- But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly. -- A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

When Clotho thanked him for the joy the gift wil bring to Gwyn that's when something sparked in him. That's when he started to picture that joy. "For whatever reason" she's likely your mate bro that's why but we'll save that for later. He was aware and conscious enough to erase his smile yet bury the image of Gwyn's joy in his chest. He had a DAMN SMILE on his face while thinking of Gwyn's joy, like, that's so precious 😭 and Clotho is 100% true, she deserves all the joy the world has to offer for her (I just wish it wasn't a necklace meant for someone else). I get the kindness behind the act but it can bite him in the ass if SJM brings it up in the main book.

That's only a teaser for what's to come and that's the purpose of the bonus chapter. I can see why Sarah was more excited for readers to read Azriel's chapter than Feysand's chapter. She knew what she was doing here and what she's setting up. I didn't want to post the earlier scenes since I don't want to deal with people showing up with pitchforks and I don't need to talk about other ships I'm happy and content to gush about my own.

Every time I reread this chapter it just reminds me of how obvious Gwyn and Azriel's set up is and you don't need a pairing to bang or make out to create a set up. We didn't even get much but they are going to be such a fun couple, I need more of funny and easy-going Azriel.

#gwynriel #acosf #I'm reminded of the first time I read it #I was not spoiled by anything so I didn't know Gwyn was in it #when she showed up I SQUEALED #how much I fucking adore her #she really brought some light into what was a dark and depressing chapter #an absolute angel #I already was picking up clues from ACOSF but the bonus chapter confirmed what's coming #and I am fucking ready

290 notes · View notes

iraprince · 2 months

Note

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

72 notes · View notes

killemwithkawaii · 4 months

Text

K.E.W.K.: *Walks back into the blog 8 months later with a mug of cold coffee and even bigger eye bags* Self-Care~ 👑✨

#k.e.w.k. draws #I felt this meme was obligatory lol #CRINGE AINT DEAD (IT WAS JUST RESTING)✅#(okay but how has it been that long srsly what is time)#i needed the break #been doing a lot of work with self-improvement irl #it has been A Lot (tm)#but I feel like I'm finally ready to come back c:#bc FUCK I MISSED BEING CRINGE ON THE INTERNET WITH MY DARLING KOUHAI AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH QwQ #Now to do some revamping and reply to my backlog of DMs so I can slowly get back in the swing of things around here~#[please stand by...] UwU 💌🎨📚💦

67 notes · View notes

kiraman · 22 days

Text

are people aware of the fact that Mizu is not canonically in any way shape or form.............. queer....bi.....

(quick note here because reading comprehension stays dead and people may not read the tag novel: I want bi Mizu! I hc her as bi! I love sapphic Mizu)

#Yall are not ready for this take but.......boy.......#can we like praise the show for all its wonderfulness without Proclaiming it a REVOLUTION for the LGBT com. before it actually earns it #It's a thought.......#No one wants bi Mizu more than me trust me but it's just not canon yet. Gender exploration has not gone There #we can meta and we can HC and we can analyse. But it's SUBTEXT #But actually full on praising it for .... something that it's just not there yet is wild to me #A sapphic AF woman #I GET IT. All I write is bi Mizu &Mizu/ladies but it's not canon yet! And if we get it great if we don't oh well!#I'm just saying that...you can't praise a show for what Might happen. That's all 🧘🏻‍♀️💙#Blue eye samurai is wonderful for so MANY other reasons #Stop giving it credit it has not earned #this is totally open to discussion and non confrontational btw❣️#if anything the only thing you can kinda give them rep for is Taigen getting a hard on for someone he thinks is a man and STILL...#blue eye samurai #bes mizu #and before anyone comes at me swinging I don't ship ta*zu. that's not at all my point.

43 notes · View notes

soubidou · 5 months

Text

Me: Aw, Silver is turning out to be a sweet guy to and with Suvi and I hope we get to see more of hi-

Brennan: He's leaving for the front kudos see you next week 🫰🏻

#heartbreak for plot #that being said #the radical difference that is shown between Suvi who gets so many people's support and appreciation as she comes into her power #and the utter loniless of Ame who's gotten her title before she herself had the confidence to feel ready #and at the end of the day Ame goes to bed with the Fox who's just the part of her soul that expresses outloud what she thinks to herself #whereas Suvi gets to go find her lover/boyfriend-to-be/comrade who knows what she's going through to find solace in his arms #so YEAH SUVI #ofc you think about Ame and how her status provides her with a deep loneliness #specific to people who haven't grown up with a secure support system #and yes it's so good that Suvi gets to see Silver leave for the front because her solid pillars of (somewhat) privilege need to be rocked #and yeah the juicy drama that can come out of maybe the Citadel being in danger ? or having to save Silver at the front ?#idk I'm eager for what comes #twtwatwo #the wizard the witch and the wild one #worlds beyond number #wbn #aabria iyengar #suvi the wizard #sky the wizard #erika ishii #ame the witch #ALSO training under the watchful eye of the Great Bear

55 notes · View notes