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not-neverland06 · 2 days

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How About a Nuke?

Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII

Series Masterlist

Cooper Howard x fem!reader, The ghoul x fem!reader A/N: @weakling-grace did some fanart for the series that I absolutely adore! And I want you all to look at it. It’s on her blog, or reposted on mine under the tag How about a nuke? Summary: The wound’s infected. It shouldn’t be, but here you are anyway, barely holding on to life. You make it as far as you can and then it’s up to him to decide whether you get to live or die.

“Have I told you yet that you are the most gorgeous woman in this room?” You couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on your face even if you tried.

“Only about a dozen times.” His hand reaches for yours across the table and you take it eagerly, linking your fingers together and enjoying the way his hazel eyes linger on yours. You could get lost in them, as cliche as it sounds. You and about every other woman in the world fell in love when you first saw those smiling eyes on the silver screen.

“I’ll just have to tell you a dozen more.”

God, you would swoon if you could. But, unfortunately, you are in the middle of a very nice restaurant and you’re sure they wouldn’t enjoy your fainting spell. It’s not like you could help it, he was so effortlessly charming, everything he said with that rasping accent of his sounded like music to you.

Your smile slipped slightly when you caught two women staring at you both. They weren’t even trying to hide it, pointing and whispering behind their hands. You clenched your jaw, trying your best not to let the anger show on your face. But he caught it anyway.

Cooper dropped your hand and tucked his back in his lap. He sighed and glanced over his shoulder, they caught his eye and gasped, stopping their cruel whispers. You opened your mouth to try and make him feel better but he interrupted you, “Hey-”

“I told you this was gonna happen sweetheart.” You hated how sad he sounded, how resigned he was to his new place in life. It was no secret that most of your fellow actors despised him now just because he did a few ad campaigns for Vault-Tec. But that didn’t mean the rest of the world did. There were still plenty of people who adored Cooper and asked for his autograph.

Granted, those ladies clearly weren’t fans, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care if you got spotted together in public and rumors started up again. You didn’t care what that meant about future roles. “I want to be with you, Coop, but I can’t keep having this same conversation over and over again.” You sighed and finally drew your hand back to yourself, he tracked the movement like a hawk.

“If this is too much,” you forced yourself to swallow past the lump in your throat and put on a stilted smile. “If being with me in the public eye is too much then maybe we should-”

“Enough,” he reached back over and forced his hand into yours. “I’m sorry, I’m just worried about you.” He stopped you before you could interrupt him, giving you a knowing smile. “I know that you don’t care what being around me does to your career, but I do. There’s no reason for the both of us to be washed up celebrities.”

“Hey, you’re not washed up, plenty of people still want to see you on the silver screen.”

He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. He squeezed your hand once before letting go and picking up his fork, “Let’s just enjoy our meal, sweetheart.”

“Pick up the pace! I’m not gonna wait for you forever, sweetheart.”

You glared at him and leaned on a tree for support. You’re not sure what’s going on. You feel hot under your skin but also like you’re freezing, you’d thrown up twice during night watch and you’re about five seconds away from keeling over.

Your sweaty palm slips against the bark and you go sliding over. You hear his boots stomping through the grass before they stop in front of you. Rough hands steady your shoulders and shove you upright again. His eyes rove across your face, the muscles above his eyes turning down in concern.

“Shit, you look like,” he trailed off, “well, to be perfectly honest you look like shit.”

You laughed but it came out strangled and he flinched back in disgust when you started coughing. “Good to know you’re still a gentleman, Cooper.”

He sighed and led you over to a rotted log. You threw yourself down on it, wincing as it jarred your sensitive stomach. The gash was aching a lot more than it should.

When you’d been shot, you could barely even feel it by this point. Now the wound was burning, itching so bad you just wanted to rip the stitches out with your bare hands. Your head rolls back and you clench your eyes shut as another wave of nausea goes through you. You could feel your heartbeat in your throat, rattling like a hummingbird in a cage.

He kneels in front of you and reaches for your shirt. You lean back on your hands to give him better access. “Stimpak should have worked by now,” he mutters. He pulls your shirt higher up on your abdomen and hisses through his teeth.

“What is it?” Your tongue is glued to the roof of your mouth and the words come out garbled.

“Shit!” He yanks your shirt down and reaches for your bag, digging through it until he finds another one of the Stimpaks you’d taken.

You’d be more panicked if your head wasn’t floating right now. “What is it?” He doesn’t answer you, he hovers the injector over his mouth and lets the medicine shoot in. You wince when he immediately turns to spit it into the grass.

He wipes the back of his mouth and chuckles. “Should’ve fucking known,” he mutters. He goes through the rest of the supplies you’d grabbed and starts chucking them further into the forest.

You’re getting pissed off now. Pissed off and worried, you just needed him to talk to you, tell you what’s going on. “Cooper!” You snap, hand clutched over the burning wound on your stomach. He sighs and looks up at you. “Tell me what’s happening.”

“Fakes,” he says, mouth set in a firm line and eyes hard against your worried gaze. “See, darlin’, some people like the men we met last night hand out fake supplies.” If you weren’t so worried you’d be mad about how condescending he sounds.

“They take empty injectors and fill ‘em with chems to keep people sick and coming back to them. It’s a steady income,” he says, like it’s a respectable career. “Your wound is infected, probably only worsened by whatever chem they put in the Stimpak I stuck you with.”

Your eyes are wide with horror. You can’t decide what’s worse, that you’ve essentially been poisoned and are probably experiencing sepsis right now. Or that people were capable of being so cruel and profited off of it. He pulls your canteen out of your bag and unscrews the cap. He holds the water up to your nose, “Sniff.” You do and he waves his hand, prompting you to tell him what exactly you smelled.

“Smells like metal,” you shrug, not sure what that means.

“Infected and you’ve got rad poisoning.” At your confused glance he continues, “Water’s not purified either, sweetheart. Whatever you got is about to get a hundred times worse.” When he turns his back to put the water back in your bag you finally risk a glance down at your stomach.

You wished you hadn’t because you’re immediately bending over to throw up what was left of your rations. The skin has swelled over the stitches, practically swallowing the black thread. The place the knife went in is red and puckered, pus forming at the corners. The sides of your stomach have an odd green tint that you’re trying not to think about too hard, most likely a side effect of whatever chem you’d been dosed with.

He presses the canteen into your hand and you shake your head from where it is between your knees. “Can’t, radiation.”

He laughs, the sound unkind, “It’s a bit late for that, honey.” You snatch the water out of his hand and gulp down as much as you can stomach. It’s not much, the taste of the water is too metallic and bitter for you. “The place we’re going, they’ve got medicine. We get you there and I’m sure I can work something out with them.”

You know what that really means. He’ll get paid for his bounty and then he’ll get what he wants, whether they offer it freely or not. “If I get there,” you mutter, still holding back the rest of your breakfast.

“Enough,” he snaps. His hand wraps around your elbow and he yanks you to your feet. “We need to get a move on, power through.” If you had the strength, you’d slap him again.

“Here you go,” he placed a bowl down on the coffee table, steam still wisping over the edge. He sat down beside you on your couch and brushed some hair away from your face and you leaned into the warmth of his palm. You were freezing but he seemed to think you were burning up.

“Did you make me soup?” Your voice is groggy with sleep. He helps you into a sitting position and hands you the bowl.

“No,” he laughs a little and leans back against the cushions, arm spreading out behind you and pulling you into him. “But I warmed it up for you.”

“Cooper,” you whisper.

“Get a move on!” He shouts from a couple yards ahead. “You either move your ass or I’ll leave you here, because I’m sure as shit not carrying you.”

Oh shit.

Hallucinating is never a good sign. You would swear on everything above that you were just on your couch with Cooper. You could still feel the warmth of the bowl in your hands, the old plush fabric of your couch on your cheeks.

You swallowed down bile and did your best to catch up to him. You blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the fog over your eyes, but it didn’t help much. It took you a minute to realize it was from the sweat dripping down your brow and burning against your retinas that was causing the problem.

You glanced around, surprised to find yourself surrounded by sand. Weren’t you just in the forest? You lifted a shaking hand to try and get rid of the glare of the sun. He was walking closer to you now, keeping a keener eye on you. You trip over your own feet for the inth time and try to keep pushing yourself.

“Any chance we could dim those?” You squint and point up to the lights hanging above the set and one of the PA’s runs off to fulfill your request. You shake your boots out, tired of all the sand that’s been getting in them. You understand you’re meant to be chasing an outlaw through the “Wild West” but this is getting ridiculous.

You’ve done about a hundred retakes of this scene, you’re not sure when the director is going to admit defeat but you hope it’s soon. You don’t know why the studio is even bothering to do cowboy stuff anymore. Everyone knows since Coop was forced out of the industry no one’s wanted to see these types of movies.

The actor you’re working with this time is a dick. He’s commanding and rude, he’s got no sense of boundaries either. Or a nose.

What the fuck?

He stands over top of you and you finally realize that you’ve collapsed into the sand. You let your head fall back and rub your forehead. One second you’re on a set and the next you’re in the Wastelands at the end of the world. You’re struggling to remember which version of reality is real and which isn’t.

“I mean it,” he threatens, “I ain’t carrying you.” Your hand flops uselessly to your side, muscles fatigued and the burning in your gut sucking the energy out of you. The only part of yourself you’re physically aware of is the stab, you can’t feel anything else. You can’t twitch your toes or wiggle your fingers, everything is off kilter. “Alright then,” he leans down and yanks your arm over his shoulder.

Before you’re processing what’s happening the world is being tilted on its axis and you’re being hauled to your feet. You don’t remember much about traveling through the sands. Everything is one long blur of red and orange. When the air in front of you starts to get wavy your eyes lose focus and you black out.

She nearly made it. They’re only about an hour away from this compound he’s been trying to get her to. He sighs, looking down at her prone form in the sand. There’s sweat beading along her forehead, her lips are cracked and split and her face has an unusual tint to it that can’t mean anything healthy.

He squats down next to her and debates how he wants to go about this. The wound on her stomach has only gotten worse since they started walking, it’s just looking angrier and angrier. With how infected it is, it’s possible that even a stimpak might not help her now.

He could leave her here, get the bounty, and go on his merry way. He could shoot her, put her out of her misery and leave. Or he could throw her over his shoulder and walk the last hour to the compound, hoping that whatever they have there will help. No matter what choice he makes, it’s her life in his hands.

His hand drifts forward, brushing the hair off her cheek and lingering on the soft skin there. He sighs before scooping her up and tossing her over his shoulder, she whines, her wound rubbing against his shoulder and probably causing her a heap of pain. It didn’t matter how much it hurt, though, as long as she was feeling something that was a good sign.

“Nearly there, sweetheart,”; he muttered. He tuned into her shallow breathing, the long pauses before her next breath and let that be what keeps him going. She better not fucking die on him. He grunts, shifting her higher up on his shoulder and wrapping an arm around her legs.

He could feel how hot she was through each layer of their clothing. This was more than just the sun, she seemed like she was about to combust. “Cooper,” she whimpers. He frowns, she’s been muttering to herself since they left the forest. Talking about things that weren’t possible.

He’s seen it before, with infection or rad poisoning, the hallucinations start pretty early. Only problem is, he’s never met anyone who lasted as long as her. She should have been dead hours ago. He has no idea what’s keeping her going, but she better fucking hold onto it.

You laughed, your dress swirling around your legs like a blooming red flower as he spun you through the room. His hand wrapped around your waist and he pulled you back into his chest. You smiled at him and he reached up to brush the hair out of your face.

Sinatra’s smooth voice cracked and then began to stutter. You laughed again but Cooper just rolled his eyes and walked over to fix the record. You smoothed out your dress and sat down on his couch, reaching for his glass of whiskey on the table.

You took a sip, hoping for some liquid courage, and regretted it. You’d momentarily forgotten your distaste for alcohol. You tried to fight the tickle in your throat but failed, you probably ruined your lipstick with how hard you started to cough.

He walked over to you and chuckled, taking his glass from your hands and stealing a swig. “Can’t handle your liquor, honey?”

“I can,” you wiped your mouth and gave him a playful glare. “That just tastes absolutely disgusting.” He smiled and took a seat beside you, arm draped behind you. He crossed a leg over his knee and titled himself to face you. You found yourself taking a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself for the question you were going to ask.

“Everything alright?”

You glanced down at your dress and fiddled with the hem of it. “I know the divorce was finalized a few days ago,” Cooper looked away from you, his face hardening, and reached forward to place his glass back on the table. Your heart leapt into your throat at the way he slammed it down. Maybe this was a mistake.

You know when Barb came over to pick up Janey yesterday they’d gotten into a fight. You didn’t know what exactly it was they fought about, you’re pretty sure it had to do with you. But it didn’t truly matter. She always found a way to rile him up. You’d been hoping that coming by tonight might make him feel a little better, but he still seemed to have a residual tenseness to him.

Bringing the divorce up after one of their fights isn’t smart. But you need to talk about this and he’s been avoiding the conversation for a while now.

He ran a hand down his face and sighed, “What about it?”

“I was just wondering what that means for us?”

He scoffed and glanced over at you. The look he’s giving you, you’re certain the fight was about you now. He’s never looked this angry with you, “For us?” You nodded and he shook his head, standing up and heading towards his room. “It doesn’t mean anything.” Your heart stuttered in your chest, eyes burning as he slammed the door to his room without another word. You let your head fall into your hands and took a few deep breaths. You knew you shouldn’t have asked that.

“That was a mistake,” you muttered.

“The hell are you telling yourself back there?” Your eyes peeled open and you frowned, you seemed to be looking at something that looked a hell of a lot like Cooper’s backside. You tilted your head to the side to find the world upside down and something stabbing repeatedly in your stomach.

You clawed your way up Cooper’s jacket, shakily holding yourself up so you could stare down at him. “Settle,” he warns, like you’re a damn horse.

“Put me down,” you mutter, weakly kicking out your feet and trying to get off of him. He just shakes his head and shoves you back down. You let him, not having much fight left in you anyway.

“Just,” he pauses, “keep dreamin’,” the words seem to pain him and you wonder why. You don’t linger on it long, letting your head hang against his back before the world is going dark again.

She keeps muttering Cooper in her sleep. He knows what she’s thinking about. Their old times together, when everything was just dandy and the world was as sweet as peaches. Well, he wasn’t some saint back then neither. He had his own problems, vices, same as any man.

Only difference between then and now is that he doesn’t have to hide who he is. Doesn’t have to worry about the public’s opinion or how his job will be affected if he speaks his mind. Cooper’s no better than the Ghoul.

He sighs, barely even believing himself. She whimpers in her sleep, the noise strangled and pained. He squeezes her leg, barely even noticing the action, in an attempt to bring some minute form of comfort. She never should have dived in front of that blade, it was stupid of her.

Course, she couldn’t have known that he would have healed, it’s not like he ever told her that. But she shouldn’t have risked it anyway, he wasn’t worth her dying for.

He can see a large building about a mile ahead as he crests the ridge of the dune he’s walking on. The compound, nearly there. “Hold on,” he’s not sure who he’s talking to but it doesn’t matter. She’s made it this far, she’ll make it a few more minutes.

“Stop right there!” Only one armed guard comes out from behind the gate of the compound. He scoffs, fucking amateurs. He drops her to the ground at his feet with as much care as he can, which isn’t a lot. Slowly, he raises his hands as the guard approaches, the tip of his rifle pressing into the hardened skin of his chest. “State your business.”

Well, someone liked making themself feel important, he was gonna have a field day beating this boy black and blue. For now, he simply smiled at him, unbothered by the gun. “I’ve got a bounty to deliver.”

“Alright, hand it over.” He reached into his pockets and the boy’s trigger finger twitched dangerously. He pulled out the only thing they’d wanted from the body, dog tags, and held them out for the boy to take. He darted forward, trying to snatch them but he yanked them out of the guard’s grip.

He lunged, wrapping a hand around the barrel of the rifle and yanking it out of the kid’s hands. He tucked the tags back in his pocket and pointed the barrel into the boy’s chest. His face blanched and he held up his shaky hands. “Not so big now, are you?” He kept the gun trained on him and leaned down to scoop her back up.

She was just cognizant enough to wrap an arm around his shoulder, keeping herself steady. “My friend here needs help. So help me boy, I swear if you fight me, I’ll slaughter everyone in that fucking place and just take what I want.”

He poked the gun into the boy’s chest and he jumped away from him with a frightened little whimper. With a grin, he bullied him into unlocking the gate and leading the both of them inside.

“Please-”

“Shut the fuck up and get me inside.” It didn’t take long, the kid seemed to be the only guard they had patrolling right now. He led the pair inside the compound and then shoved them inside a room.

“Here, you can clean her up here.” Before he could say anything the boy was running down the hall and out of sight. He figured they didn’t have long before the rest of the compound was alerted to what was going on.

He knew enough about the place to know they had a water purifier set up in the back and some odd little ditty they’d created to use water to generate power. Having a radiated ocean behind them was a lot more convenient than Cooper ever would have thought.

“Alright,” he propped her up on the bed and threw the boy’s rifle to the side. “Wake up, darling,” her eyelashes fluttered but she didn’t move. He used his teeth to pull off one of his gloves and pressed a hand to her clammy head. Still burning up. He cracked his hand across her cheek, chuckling at the way her eyes flew open.

“Come on,” he hoisted her up and shoved her towards the bathroom in the room. There were holes in the wall, the faucet was really a metal can with holes poked in it, but it was running water. Who was he to complain? He propped her up against the sink and cranked the odd lever in the wall. There was a loud rattling sound before water came pouring out of the rusted can. “Clean yourself up,” he muttered, closing the door behind him.

Barely a minute later he heard a loud crash and the sound of porcelain cracking. He ran back into the bathroom and found her half collapsed against the shower wall. What was left of the decrepit sink was broken on the ground, only the faucet sticking out of the wall. He sighed and looked over at her.

“I fell,” she muttered, a million little cuts bleeding on her arms.

He sighed and tugged his hat and gloves off, tossing them onto the bed outside. He came back in, pulling her away from the shower and straightening her up. She clung onto him, broken nails digging dully into his scarred arms. “Come on, sweetheart,” he tugged her shirt up, her arms slipping limply out of it.

Her wound was practically festered by now, turning a color that he knew meant she didn’t have much time to waste. He undid the button of her pants and knelt down, hands dragging down her legs and pulling her pants with them. She stepped out, hands braced on his shoulders and tripped slightly. He grabbed her thighs, steadying her and stood back up. He wrapped an arm around her waist, stopping her from falling and leading her into the shower.

She sighed as the tepid water hit her back and he grimaced at the brown water pouring off of her. Maybe he should have let her clean up in that lake. He didn’t do much to help her as she cleaned herself up, mainly just stood there and let her hold onto him so she didn’t hurt herself further.

He cupped the back of her neck and helped her tilt her head back to clean out the rest of her hair. It was odd, being this close to her. Less because of how stark naked she was, and more because of just how vulnerable she was being. Like a deer rolling over and presenting its neck to a wolf. He could do anything to her, and she just let him hold her like this.

She leaned forward, clearly tired after moving around so much. Her head fell into his chest and she wrapped her arms around him tighter. She sighed, “I love you, Cooper.”

He flinched, knowing this was just a part of her delirium. Having running water for once was probably just confusing her more, making her think she was right back home. He leaned forward, lips pressed against her forehead and brushing some hair back. “No you don’t, darling.”

There was a knock on the door and he was quick to draw his gun. The door opened and a middle aged woman flanked by two guards stood smiling at him. She took in the gun in his hand but seemed unbothered by it or the threat he posed. “I hear you two need some help.”

“Mhm,” he glanced at the guards behind her but they didn’t seem particularly interested in reaching for their weapons. The woman took her in from where she lay on the bed, panting and sounding like she was struggling to get her breaths in. “I have a bounty to turn in, figured part of my payment could be you giving us a Stimpak. Then, we’ll be out of your hair.”

She laughed and took a step further into the room. He stood up now, gun pointed towards her slightly. She ignored him and took a peek at the festering wound. “She’ll need a lot more than a Stimpak. We can clean her up, don’t worry.” He didn’t get a chance to argue before the guards were coming in. He stepped out of the way as they grabbed you by the arms and legs, hauling you out of the room.

He made to follow them but the woman placed a hand on his chest. “Sylvie, I run the compound. The bounty?”

He sighed and fished the dog tags out of his pocket, passing them to her. He glanced out the door, trying to track the path they took you down. “She’ll be fine, trust me.”

He laughed and glanced over at her, “No offense, ma’am,” he says the title with a lack of respect that makes her brows furrow in irritation, “but if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s not to trust anyone. No matter how pretty their promises are.”

She gave him a long look before smiling and motioning back towards the hall. “Follow me and we’ll go find her.”

They had a decent set up here. Not as nice as the vaults, clearly, but pretty good for surface dwellers. A decent supply of meds and rations, running water. Everything in the building might be run down or covered in mildew, with cracks in the wall, but it was better than the hovels he’d camped out in.

They’ve got her set up on cot, a bag of Radaway hooked up to her arm and her hair braided away from her face. They had to cut out the stitches he’d sewed and open the wound back up to flush it out. She’d been patched back up and while the skin still looked irritated it seemed to be doing a lot better than before.

He’d been keeping a close eye on her breathing and she’d finally stopped wheezing on every inhale. He figured another hour here and they could get the fuck out. These people were starting to bother him. Every half hour or so they would come in to check on her, the women would spray some water on her face and mutter something before running back out.

He seemed to scare them, enjoying the way they would avoid meeting his eyes. But it wasn’t enough to keep them away from her. Their insistence should’ve had alarm bells going off in his head, but he was already preoccupied worrying about her. He didn’t even notice when Slyvie came to stand beside him.

“She’ll be alright,” she tried to place a hand on his shoulder but the look he shot her had her stopping short. She cleared her throat uncomfortably and tucked her hands back behind her back. He gave her another long look before going back to staring at the girl on the bed.

“We have a place for her here, if you’re interested.”

He scoffed, “Room for us, huh?” He let himself picture it for a moment. He wouldn’t fucking stay, of course, he couldn’t. There’s no way, after two hundred years of wandering, that he could be locked down to one decaying old building. Showers or no. But he could always come by to visit her, stay a few nights and then leave again.

That’s assuming she’d even want him to visit. Didn’t matter, he’d come anyway. But, he couldn’t do that anymore. Couldn’t live that life even if it would be temporary. It just wasn’t in him. He stayed stagnant for too long and two hundred years of bloodshed and loss would drive him insane.

Sylvie shook her head and frowned. “I’m sorry, I should have been more clear. We have room for her, you have to understand, without a steady supply of Radaway we can’t risk having a ghoul here.” She moved towards her and brushed some hair out of her face, “Think about it.” She walked out and he stared blankly at the cot.

She shifted on the bed, face pained and mumbling something under her breath. Finally, her eyes fluttered open and she frowned. “Coop? What’s,” she trailed off, struggling to sit up and glancing around the room they were in. “What’s going on?”

“Relax, we’re at the compound.”

She rubbed her forehead and glared at him, “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

He swatted her leg and she recoiled, “No, smartass. Just relax, we’ll be out of here soon.” She nodded and leaned back against the pillows they’d given her. It was odd, finally seeing her clean again. He could see clearly just how tired she looked. It was in her eyes, mainly, a weariness towards the world that left her exhausted.

He’s surprised she’s even made it this far without giving up. She’d been dealt some shit luck, but he supposed it was better she be exposed to how cruel the world was as quickly as possible. She groaned and her head flopped forward.

“What’s wrong with you now?”

“God,” she muttered, turning her face away from him and shaking her head. He huffed and sat up straight, glaring at the side of her face.

“Talk,” he demanded, not in the mood for games.

“I meant it,” she sounded pained, like the words had to be forced out. “I mean, I hate that I meant it, but I did.”

He rolled his eyes, “Meant what? You’re gonna have to be a little clearer than that, sweetheart.”

“What I said in the shower. I meant it. I haven’t stopped loving you, despite how much I want to. I don’t want to want you anymore, I don’t want that connection to the past to constantly be shoved down my throat.” She sighed and tugged at the braid they’d given her. “You’re cruel and mean and, fuck’s sake, you’ve shot me twice. But you’re also the only thing I’ve got left, and despite how much I want to, because trust me I do, I can’t let you go.”

He sighed and turned away from her. She was still tired, still a bit woozy from the fever. He could see the sweat on her forehead again and knew that whatever this was, was just drug induced. He couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handle her wanting him like this again.

Being around her already made him vulnerable enough. Whatever twisted connection he held to her now, would be nothing compared to letting her love him again. Two hundred years on his own and she thought she could just come barreling back into his life and everything would be lovely again?

No, that’s not how this world worked. Not anymore.

He stood up and threw his bag over his shoulder. “Get back to sleep, we’ll leave soon.”

She sighed and sank back against the pillows, shivering as she did so. “You’ll be here?”

“Of course I will, sweetheart.” She nodded, eyes already drifting shut, and turned away from him. He let himself admire her, taking in her relaxed features and soft expression. She reminded him so much of before. Before the world went to shit and before he turned into what he is now.

He could feel parts of him, the ones he’d buried a long time ago, come up around her. Twisted as they were, how he felt about her before still lingered somewhere within him. But he couldn’t afford the risk that they presented if he did let her back in. He wasn’t even sure she could fully handle him if he did.

She’d nearly died about five times, most of them because of him, and she’d been up here for such a short time. She’d be better off without him. He walked towards the door, the spurs of his boots clicking against the tile of the floor. He found Sylvie lurking a few halls down and whistled, getting her attention.

Sylvie turned to him with an expectant smile. “You got room?”

She nodded with an eager smile, “We do. And you’d be compensated, of course.” Before he could question what exactly she was paying him for she snapped her fingers and some guards approached. They handed him a bag that he quickly rifled through. Not only was there enough Radaway to last him at least a month, there was purified water and rations that would keep him going until the next bounty.

She’ll be better off here.

He tucked the bag away and smiled at Sylvie, “Pleasure doing business with you, ma’am.”

She gave him a lecherous grin, “You as well,” she nodded and the guards escorted him to the gate. He didn’t let himself look back, knowing he’d just want to go get her. At least now he didn’t have to constantly worry about saving her ass.

He was better off on his own. Always had been, always would be.

#cooper howard x reader #the ghoul x reader #fallout x reader #fallout tv series #cooper howard #the ghoul

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mrsbuckybarnes1917 · 23 hours

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9.1: STEVE & BUCKY

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Steve tries to convince his oldest friend that he is making a mistake.

Word count: 666

Warnings: Bucky being dumb and oblivious.

Steve found Bucky hidden away in the gym the next morning. He cornered Bucky while he was aggressively curling his biceps with a couple of dumbbells.

“Buck?”

Bucky ignored him, focusing on his weights in his hands.

“Bucky, will you stop for a minute?”

“What, Steve?” he snapped, face softening slightly after seeing Steve’s disappointed expression.

“Bucky, what’s going on with you and Cricket?”

“Nothing, nothing‘s going on with me and Cricket.”

“What happened to your birthday gift?”

“Which one?” Bucky moved to the punching bag, motioning to Steve to secure it for him.

“You know what I mean.” Steve held the bag securely in his hands as Bucky put his weight into the first punch.

“She didn’t get me a gift,” he grunted, throwing his fist at the bag again.

“What?” Steve was surprised by his response. “Cricket. I was talking about Cricket.”

“Yeah, so was I,” he answered, punching the bag again.

“Bucky, didn’t you talk to her in the kitchen? I saw you follow her there. Didn’t she explain?”

Bucky stopped punching the bag, his chest heaving with exertion. He looked at Steve, his eyes filled with uncertainty and conflict. “Yeah, she explained exactly what she thought.”

Steve frowned, not understanding Bucky’s responses. He watched Bucky’s expressionless face as he repeatedly struck the bag he was holding. He knew his best friend well enough to know that things hadn’t gone well between the two of you. “She didn’t tell you about-”

“She was perfectly clear, Steve. She made it crystal clear about how she feels about Priya, and I’m done. I’m done trying to act like everything’s normal. She’s constantly judging her, making me feel like Priya isn’t good enough for me. What does she want from me?”

Steve could see the pain and frustration in Bucky’s eyes as he continued to vent his feelings. He knew that your feelings towards Priya were causing a strain on your relationship, but he also knew that Bucky loved you deeply.

“Buck, Cricket loves you.”

“Then why doesn’t she support me?”

“Bucky, are you really this dense? Do you really not see what’s right in front of you?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “What’re you talking about Steve?”

“Cricket loves you, Bucky. She supports you in her own way. Are you too blinded by your own insecurities to see it?”

Bucky scoffed. “She has a funny way of showing it.”

“Bucky, maybe you should talk to Cricket again. Try to understand where she’s coming from.��

“I’ve tried, Steve. I’ve tried to talk to her, to make her see things from my perspective. But she’s so stubborn, so set in her ways. She just can’t accept that Priya is a part of my life now.”

“Bucky, maybe it’s time to make a decision,” Steve suggested, desperately. “You can’t keep living in this limbo, caught between two people you care about. You need to figure out what’s truly important to you.”

“Don’t worry Steve, I made my decision.”

Steve frowned. “What do you m-”

“Oooh, so is this where the boys wonder are hiding these days? Cap,” Sharon interrupted the conversation, nodding at Steve before turning to Bucky with a small smirk. “Sarge.”

“How’re you Sharon?” Steve asked amiably.

“Stark sent me down here with this intel, he suggested we check it o- hey!” Sharon exclaimed as Bucky snatched the mission brief from her outstretched hand.

He flipped open the file, balancing it on his vibranium palm, scanning the printed words and wiping the sweat off his furrowed brow.

“Buck?” Steve questioned.

“I’ll take this one.”

“You and Cricket?”

“No, I’ll go with Sharon. You don't need to get Cricket involved.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Now why don’t you let me finish up here and I’ll join you,” Bucky glanced pointedly at Sharon, “in the hangar bay in two hours.”

Steve sighed, staring at Bucky’s back for a few moments before following Sharon out of the gym, knowing that he wasn’t going to be successful with his conversation today.

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Tag list: @samodivaa @scoonsalicious @noonespecial90 @browneyedgrli @vicmc624 @cjand10 @capswife @julvrs @ordelixx @sashaisready @sebastians-love @belleofthebooks @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @rabbitrabbit12321 @love-isnt-greed @hhiggs @winters1917 @blackhawkfanatic @calwitch @learisa @daybleedsintonightfa11 @lillianacristina @mostlymarvelgirl @wintercrow @buckitostan @crist1216 @bisexualnikkisixx @robynjasp @brairslair

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fan fiction #my best friend's girl

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armenianwriterman · 3 days

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So, this is it. The end of Rooster Teeth. The end of something I spent half of my life watching. I got into RT through randomly stumbling across Season 1 of Death Battle by chance and I never looked back. I spent more than half of my life watching their stuff, laughing along with their jokes, and being inspired by the people who made it. They were a source of joy in my life, especially in times when I really needed it. The talent and passion of those that worked there always shined through on everything they did. To those who worked there, I'm sorry it ended the way it did, and I wish them the best of luck as you go forwards. I'll always remember the heart and soul they put in, the engrossing stories they told, and hilarious insanity you really can't find anywhere else.

But, while there was a lot of good, there was also a lot of bad. The crunch, the toxic bro culture, the sexual predator that worked there for 12 years, it was a mess. It is horrible that any of this happened at all, and to those who were effected by it, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I felt terrible about being sad it closing for this reason, but after some reflection, I think what I'm really sad about is how much it meant to people. Me, the other fans, and all the employees, anyone who saw the goodbye stream could testify to that.

From that shared meaning spawned a community that I was a part of. One that unquestionably had a lot of problems as well, (I'm definitely not going to miss the anti-woke grifters when they inevitably move on to the next thing), but a community nonetheless. I don't really talk about my personal life on here much but, I'm not good with social interactions or maintaining relationships with people I don't see daily. I haven't ever really had a job before despite my attempts to get one, and well, given that I want to work in the TV/Film industry and the state that it's currently in...yeah. I sometimes feel like a failure, wonder why I should even bother trying.

But with RT, I had a community of people who were like me. People who I could nerd out with and not really worry about alienating. People I could laugh and cry with. I felt like I had a place here like I never really did elsewhere. One of my big regrets is that I never had the opportunity to go to a fan event and meet others in my community in person. But the good news is, despite the company closing, the community is still going to stick around for a long time. The fanmade archives are a thing, and many of the shows are either already going to continue, or in talks to continue.

Tonight, I decided to watch one final thing on their website and I chose Red vs Blue Season 13, partly because it's one of my favorite, if not the favorite, things this media company ever put out. But I also chose it because of the ending. Because even when things are bleak, even when the future is uncertain, there will always be hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that your friends (and Rooster Teeth employees in this case) will all eventually be okay. In other words, because in the end, you just have to have faith. Ain't that a bitch?

Being a fan wasn't always easy, but I look around at everyone talking about what Rooster Teeth and its community meant to them, and I know that is why we were here. And I'm glad I was here with all of you.

❤️🤍🖤💛, 🟨🟨🟨🟨⬛, 🔴🆚🔵

#I just wanted to say thank you #all of you #for everything #rooster teeth #rwby #red vs blue #rvb #achievement hunter #camp camp #death battle #the slow mo guys #on the spot #rooster teeth animated adventures #< just wanted to list a few of the things I was into that was made by them #it really was a lot wasn't it #personal

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anonymousewrites · 2 days

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A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 1) Chapter Nineteen

Kusuo Saiki x Reader

Chapter Nineteen: Toritsuka’s Possessions and Club

Summary: (Y/N) and Saiki get dragged into two of Toritsuka's schemes to try to get girls and decide to take matters into their own hands.

“You should tell him how you feel, Miko,” said a girl to her friend as they walked back.

“No way!”

“You should make a move.”

“He’s popular, you know.”

“Oh, there he is! Good luck.”

(Y/N) turned around to watch. “I wonder who the popular guy is—Oh.”

Hearing their surprise, Saiki turned around. Oh indeed. It was Toritsuka.

“Toritsuka, would you want to go to a movie with me?” said the girl nervously.

“Wow, is he actually getting a girl to go out with him?” said (Y/N). It was a strange development. Usually, girls avoided him after the novelty of meeting a medium wore off.

“Sure, let’s go,” said Toritsuka.

“You said you were going with me, too!” said another girl.

“I’m going with Reita, too!” said a third.

(Y/N) and Saiki exchanged glances. Now this was suspicious.

“Man, this is tough,” laughed Toritsuka. (Y/N) and Saiki had come up to him for an explanation after classes in the courtyard. The ghosts had told Toristuka (Y/N) knew about the whole “psychic powers” thing, so he talked openly in front of them (which was unfortunate, since he could be a real perv). “Being popular is harder than it looks.”

“It doesn’t look like it bothers you too much,” said Saiki.

“Well, in a sense, it is thanks to you, Saiki,” said Toritsuka.

“It is?” said (Y/N), tilting their head.

“Absolutely not.” Saiki didn’t want (Y/N) thinking he was involved with any of Toritsuka’s terrible ideas.

“Remember how I performed at the school festival? It was a huge success,” said Toritsuka.

“What?” said Saiki incredulously.

“I was really bad at first,” admitted Toritsuka. “I even heard a weird sound and had no idea how I made it. But just when I was going to give up, he showed up.”

“Who?” asked (Y/N).

“He was a ghost with a mop-top haircut and glasses,” said Toritsuka. “He was a world-famous legendary musician who died at the young age of forty.”

“You couldn’t possibly mean—”

“That’s right. It was John. It was John Komatsu!” said Toritsuka.

“That’s not who I thought it was,” said (Y/N).

“I let him possess my body, and he overtook the souls of the audience in an instant!” said Toritsuka. “Spirit-summoning is a wonderful ability.”

“Oh, so you’re abusing other people’s talents to try to get with girls,” said (Y/N), unimpressed.

Saiki nodded. “Well-said.”

“No, I’m using my spirit-summoning talent to try to get with girls,” said Toritsuka.

“That’s not better,” said (Y/N).

“Why are you checking another guy out?!” A shout went up through the courtyard as a boy grabbed a girl by the wrist.

“It hurts, let go!” cried the girl.

Toritsuka ran over and separated them. “Don’t lay your hands on a girl!”

“This has nothing to do with you!” growled the original boy.

“How pathetic are you, being so jealous?” said Toritsuka.

“I’m going to kill you!” said the boy, aiming a bunch.

“Uh-oh!” said (Y/N) standing.

Saiki reached out and touched their wrist to stop them. “A ghost is possessing him. He’s fine.”

Toritsuka blocked the attack easily and grinned back at Saiki and (Y/N). “Did you see whose move that was? An action star who passed away at the age of thirty-two.”

“You don’t mean—”

“Yes! It’s Bru Scorpion Jr’s move,” said Toritsuka. “I summoned the legendary kung-fu master.”

“Who are these people?” said (Y/N), and Saiki shrugged.

“Saiki! This ability will make me the most popular man in the world,” declared Toritsuka.

“But it’s not your own personality,” said (Y/N). “Isn’t that a problem?”

“He doesn’t realize that this isn’t going to end well,” said Saiki.

Toristuka happily led thirteen girls towards the movie theater after school, eager to have a successful group date. All of his dreams were coming true. The only thing he needed was for the spirits to stay in line and not keep bothering him to borrow his body.

Behind the group, Saiki and (Y/N) watched them go.

“Is anything going wrong?” asked (Y/N).

“He’s being weird,” said Saiki. “But that’s standard Toritsuka.” He stepped up. “I’m going to make sure he doesn’t try anything.”

(Y/N) smiled. He was going to keep Toritsuka in line, even if he insisted these things had nothing to do with him. “You’re going to stand out in the group of girls.”

Saiki poofed into smoke, and when (Y/N) could see him again, a girl with light pink hair and clear glasses stood in front of them.

“Kusuo?” said (Y/N).

“I go by Kuriko in this form,” said Saiki.

(Y/N) beamed. “Wow, I didn’t know you could do that.”

Saiki nodded. “I prefer being a boy.”

“Well, you look nice as a girl, if that helps,” said (Y/N), rambling with a smile. It was a risk to say something like that with their feelings being what they were and Saiki not seeming to like such emotions, but they’d say it because it was true.

Saiki nodded curtly, a warmth in her chest. “Thank you.”

“I guess we can blend in now,” said (Y/N), taking a step forward. They were ambiguous enough.

Saiki nodded, and they stepped up to the back of the group to keep an eye on Toritsuka.

“Toritsuka, tell us something funny!” said one girl.

“Yes, I’d love to hear a joke,” said a second.

“Something funny?” Toritsuka considered. “Then, I’ll tell you about the erotic movie—” He cut himself off. He couldn’t say something like that. Instead, he let a charismatic CEO and speaker—Montecarlo Sudo—take over his body and begin speaking about different types of phones and ipods he has.

The girls looked unimpressed and bored. Clearly, Sudo hadn’t been the right choice.

“Yare yare. I came out of worry, but I see that wasn’t needed,” said Saiki.

“Looks like he’s just out of his depth. The girls should be fine,” said (Y/N), satisfied.

Saiki paused as she turned away, though, since she could hear Toritsuka’s worried thoughts as he failed to switch back into his own body.

Abruptly, Toritsuka’s body began to sing as Komatsu switched in.

“Uh, Kuriko?” asked (Y/N), confused.

“He can’t get control of his body back,” said Saiki. “He’s super confused.”

“Can you help him out? I know he was being a creep, but he can get his karma in his own body,” said (Y/N).

Saiki nodded and projected her words into (Y/N) and Toritsuka’s minds. “You can’t switch back because that’s not your body anymore.”

Toritsuka’s ghost looked over in alarm at (Y/N) and the girl who must be Saiki in confusion.

“It seems like they have been using your body more than you lately,” said Saiki. “It’s like when your dog gets attached to the person watching them when you travel.”

Toritsuka, of course, freaked out.

“He’s panicking, isn’t he?” said (Y/N).

Saiki nodded.

“Can’t say he doesn’t deserve it,” said (Y/N), shrugging.

Even (Y/N)’s kindness has a limit. “He’s begging me to help him,” said Saiki.

Toritsuka’s body stopped singing and began practicing kung-fu, punching and kicking the air while the girls looked on in shock and disgust. As soon as the body approached them, they made a hasty exit, over the whole thing and any crushes they had on Toritsuka.

“Maybe we shouldn’t let him run around like that,” said (Y/N).

“Yare yare. I guess we should help,” said Saiki, stepping up to Toritsuka’s body.

“How are you going to—”

Saiki kicked Toritsuka’s stomach, and the ghosts were forcibly expelled from his body (and Toritsuka went flying).

“Wow,” said (Y/N). They grinned. “That was a super cool kick!”

Toritsuka trembled as he stood in his own body. He groaned and held his stomach. “Saiki, thank you so much. I learned a lesson, too. I’ll try to do things on my own without depending so much on ghosts.” He paused and looked at Saiki. He coughed. “Hey, uh, Saiki. Are those boobs real?”

“You should go to Heaven, too,” said Saiki, putting her hands on her hips.

“Ew,” said (Y/N), making a face.

Toritsuka pouted as everyone looked at him with grossed-out expressions.

“Are you joining any clubs, Kusuo?” asked (Y/N) as they headed into the lunchroom. The new term had begun, so clubs were advertising for new members once more.

Saiki shook his head. “What about you?”

“I’m a part of the Cooking and Baking Club,” said (Y/N). “But I’ve been doing that for a while.” They smiled. “I’m hoping to be president by senior year.”

“I’m sure you’ll get there,” said Saiki. He had the honor of being (Y/N)’s test subject for new recipes, and they were always delicious.

“Thanks,” said (Y/N), smiling.

“Saiki! (L/N)!” Toritsuka ran up behind them, and Saiki shut the door in his face.

Toritsuka pouted, opened the door, and followed them to their table. “I wanted to talk to you two about something.”

“We’re not joining your club,” said Saiki. He refused to get involved with Toritsuka, and he didn’t want (Y/N) being near his plots for girls either.

“Saiki, do you want to start a club with me?” said Toritsuka, ignoring Saiki.

“Still no,” said Saiki.

“What is it?” asked (Y/N) curiously.

“An excuse to get close to girls,” said Saiki.

“Toristuka…” sighed (Y/N), disappointed. “I thought you just learned a lesson about how wrong that goes for you.”

“You know, I’m not sure what club it’s going to be, yet,” said Toritsuka, ignoring their comments and addressing his club again.

“How about a club of shame?” suggested Saiki.

“Well, I tried to get into other clubs—” all to get closer to girls, of course “—but I was rejected from all of them, so I have no choice but to make my own,” said Toritsuka. He brightened. “I need to build my own harem!”

“You mean club?” said Saiki, nearly rolling his eyes.

“…Toritsuka, just…no,” said (Y/N), shaking their head.

Toristuka stood. “I just got an idea of what club to start!”

“I don’t care,” said Saiki.

“The Occult Club,” said Toritsuka.

Sure enough, by the next day in school, a giant sign for the Occult Club (reading “primarily girls wanted”) was plastered up on the walls, and people were gathered around it curiously).

“They’re taking the bait!” said Toritsuka excitedly.

“Will that poster really work?” said Saiki.

“I mean, a few people like the occult,” said (Y/N), considering.

“Have you heard of misattribution of arousal?” said Toritsuka.

(Y/N) blanched. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s a theory stating that people can mistake fear for attraction,” said Toritsuka.

“He never studies, yet he knows stuff like this.”

“The Occult Club is the perfect way to put this to use!” said Toristuka, proud of himself.

“You put a lot of effort into really strange things,” said (Y/N) brightly.

Toritsuka walked into his clubroom—a regular room darkened with blackout curtains and a lack of turned-on lights. “There may already be new applicants!” He didn’t see anyone and walked farther in. “I guess we need more time.”

“Can Kusuo and I not be a part of this?” said (Y/N).

“There is someone here,” said Saiki.

“I would like to be a part of the Occult Club,” said a girl from the darkness.

Toritsuka looked over eagerly but jumped as she loomed out of the darkness.

“Nice to meet you,” said the girl, hair draped over her face.

Toritsuka screamed. “Saiki, it’s a ghost!”

(Y/N) turned on the lights to reveal a perfectly normal girl who just had a strange hairstyle.

“Calm down, aren’t you used to seeing ghosts?” said Saiki.

“I’m Arisu Makino,” said the girl. “In middle school, I read about three thousand books on black magic and spiritualism. Because the devil summoning requires six people as sacrifices, I have come to join.”

“I’m not going to be a sacrifice, actually,” said (Y/N) jovially. “I’m not a part of this club.”

“You should be a little more concerned about the idea of sacrifices,” said Saiki.

“The people from the Occult Club went that way,” said Toritsuka, pointing out the door and totally lying.

“Oh, really?” said Makino.

“Hey, you’re the club president,” said Saiki, not letting him get away with anything.

The door of the clubroom opened, and Toritsuka grinned at it. “Welcome to the Occult Club.”

“What? Is this it or not?” asked Makino in confusion.

“It is,” said (Y/N), nodding to her.

“The Occult Club?” Kaidou looked in. “My name is Jet Black Wings, an exorcist who just happened to be passing by.”

“Hey, Kaidou!” said (Y/N), waving.

“Oh, Saiki, (L/N), hi,” said Kaidou, noticing them nervously.

“Do you know him?” asked Toritsuka, looking at the two. “Hold on.” He chuckled. “You’re the chihuahua!” He laughed as he remembered Kaidou’s spirit guide.

“Don’t call me that!” cried Kaidou, embarrassed.

“Anyways, guys are not allowed to join the club,” said Toritsuka.

“What?” said Kaidou, confused and disappointed.

The door opened again, and Yumehara stepped in.

“Excuse me, I would like to join the Occult Club,” she said. She pretended to innocently look around before “noticing” Kaidou. “Oh, my! Kaidou, what a coincidence! You surprised me.”

“Aw, that’s kind of cute,” said (Y/N). “She’s trying to understand what he’s interested in.”

Is that what I should be doing more? thought Saiki. He considered for a moment, but all he could think was that he and (Y/N) already did plenty together and hung out regularly. Still, he’d try to pay some more attention to them. Would that show he cared? Saiki didn’t want (Y/N) to think he didn’t value them.

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” said Yumehara, smiling at Kaidou.

A cute girl is here! thought Toristuka triumphantly. “Welcome,” he said, winking. “Are you ready to have a dangerous time?”

“Uh…” Yumehara looked unimpressed.

“Hey! So guys can’t join this club?” said Kaidou accusatorily.

“That’s right!” Toritsuka tried to hug Makino and Yumehara, but (Y/N) moved in between him and them. “This is my harem, the Occult Club.”

“It isn’t,” said Saiki.

“Girls have stronger spiritual powers than guys, so you can’t join,” decided Toritsuka.

“What? Kaidou can’t join the club?” said Yumehara. Her gaze darkened. “Sorry. I quit.” She walked up to Kaidou. “Kaidou, why don’t we make our own club?”

“What? Oh, uh, sure, okay,” said Kaidou, nervous about Yumehara walking up to him.

“I want to join, too,” said Makino.

“Wait!” cried Toritsuka as he lost everyone. He bowed to Kaidou. “I’ll allow you to join the club.” But he wasn’t happy having a “rival.”

Kaidou brightened, and Yumehara grinned and blushed excitedly.

“Let’s have fun together, Kaidou!” said Yumehara.

“Toritsuka’s not happy about Kaidou getting the attention,” said (Y/N). They chuckled quietly. “He kind of deserves it.”

Saiki nodded. “He doesn’t stand a chance.” But “misattribution of arousal?” Curious, he decided to try something out. That is interesting.

His psychokinesis hit the lights.

“What happened?!” said Kaidou, looking around.

“A blackout? I’m scared,” cried Yumehara.

(Y/N) jumped at the sudden darkness and reached out to grab Saiki’s sleeve. It was instinctual; they felt safer knowing he was there.

Static blared from the (digital) TVs, and Yumehara jumped towards Kaidou.

“The door won’t open!” cried Toritsuka, trying to pull it open.

“Calm down,” said Makino. “Let’s remain calm and chant a spell.” She put her hands together and began chanting.

“Kusuo, is this just you?” whispered (Y/N).

“Yes,” said Saiki, and he watched as (Y/N) relaxed.

“Oh, good,” they said. They smiled sheepishly and let go of his sleeve. “I guess that was pretty silly of me to get scared while in school.”

“Don’t feel bad. They’re still scared,” said Saiki, watching the group. “I guess that’s enough.” He let the TVs switch off and the lights come on. He looked at the results of his experiment. “Yumehara has a high likability for Kaidou.”

“Were you seriously testing Toritsuka’s ‘misattribution of arousal’ thing?” said (Y/N) incredulously.

Saiki shrugged. “I was curious.”

“…Was he right or being stupid?” said (Y/N), a little bit curious now that the experiment had been conducted.

“He’s always stupid, but…” He looked over at Toritsuka, who was staring at Makino.

My heart is pounding… Toritsuka gazed at Makino, eyes wide and cheeks red. There is no doubt about it! I’m in love with Arisu Makino!

“He fell victim to his own ploy,” said Saiki. “His likability towards Makino rose a lot.”

(Y/N) shook their head and chuckled. “Toritsuka always gets himself into trouble with his own ideas.”

“He does,” agreed Saiki. He glanced at them. I wonder what your likability of me is. For a moment, Saiki legitimately considered checking. And then…he decided not to. If they didn’t like him any more than a friend and the score was low, Saiki would be disappointed. Plus…even a high likability could just be really liking someone as a friend. It wouldn’t clear anything out.

And Saiki didn’t want his heart to be hurt.

Little did he know, (Y/N) harbored the same feelings for him as he did for them. No misattribution of feelings there.

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#a not so disastrous romance #x reader #gn reader #nb reader #x gn reader #x nb reader #the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #saiki kusuo #saiki kusou no psi nan #saiki #kusuo saiki #saiki x reader #kusuo x reader #kusuo saiki x reader #saiki k #saiki no psi nan #saiki kusuo x reader #the disastrous life of saiki k #the disastrous life of saiki k.

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castiwls · 3 days

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who's afraid of little old me? -s.w

Paring; sam x reader

Prompt; 'I want to snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me. You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.'

Requested;@nix-rose

Notes;so sorry this took so long exams are kicking my ass

Masterlist | Taylor Swift masterlist

Laughter rang out through the air as children ran happily around the small playground. It wasn’t often you got much free time in the towns you visited so when the occasion arose you were quick to snap up the chance.

“I miss being this carefree.” You leaned forward leaning on your knees. Sam looked at you from the corner of his eyes an unreadable look on his face. “What do you mean?” He asked taking a sip from the cup in his hand.

“I mean…I miss being a kid you know. Your biggest issue being who gets which swing or what snack your gonna have before your dinner.” You shrugged. “Simple things.” As your gaze fell back onto the small playground Sam continued to watch you.

He sat for a moment, mulling over his thoughts. He sometimes forgot that you’d both been raised very differently. While his childhood had been anything but carefree you’d seemingly spent your formative years like most children and part of him envied you for that.

He envied how normal you were. The fact that you could look at a playground and be hit with a sense of nostalgia he could only imagine in his wildest dreams. Sam let out a quiet hum before sitting back on the bench.

You were both quiet for a moment before you turned your head to face him. You watched his expression for a moment, noticing the slight longing in his eyes. Sucking in a breath you spoke. “Your childhood wasn’t like this.” You sent him a bashful smile before placing your cup down beside you.

Sam shook his head wrapping an arm around you. “It’s alright.” He shrugged before turning his attention back to the playground.

It had surprised you at first when Sam and told you the details of his childhood. You’d honestly been slightly horrified when you’d first found out. The thought of growing up in that type of life had sent a feeling of nausea running through you.

It seemed a miracle that Sam had turned out the way he did.

Though you knew that was only partly true.

“You’ve never been to a park?” You asked suddenly. “Surely either Dean or Bobby would have taken you.”

Sam thought for a moment before shaking his head. “Nope. Not even once.” His gaze hardened for a moment. “I wasn’t the type of child who went to a park.” He said simply before standing from the bench. “We should probably head back.” He offered you his hand.

Standing from the bench you took his hand and followed him from the park. You both walked in peaceful silence, slowly taking in the small town.

As you walked Sam could feel his brain working overtime as he thought through his whole childhood. Or lack of childhood.

Situations like this made him feel cheated. Made him feel angry that he’d never been a normal child and that he’d spent his childhood dealing with things most children only saw in nightmares.

He’d always felt on the outside of society and things like this only cemented that in his mind. He couldn’t even talk to you about basic childhood experiences because he’d never had them and that thought left anger bubbling in his stomach.

“Sam.” Your voice broke through his thoughts. Pausing in the street you turned to fully face him. “I can feel you getting tense.” You frowned slightly concerned at the look in his eyes. “I know what you're thinking and you need to stop alright? I know it sucks and I'm sorry if I could change your childhood I would.”

You squeezed his hand. “You're not the outsider you make yourself out to be.” You smiled up at him. He watched you for a moment, letting your words settle in his mind. He let out a sigh running his free hand through his hair.

“I know. I know.” Sam frowned before shaking his head. He knew deep down you were right, that the small voice in his head wasn’t his voice of reason. You were.

Taking a breath he smiled pressing a kiss to your head. “Thank you.”

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storiesoflilies · 21 hours

Text

school bus love (5)

synopsis: it’s high time to throw caution to the wind, don’t you think?

pairing: teen!toji fushiguro x teen!f!reader

warnings: none.

a/n: i just wanted to say that I absolutely adore all the comments saying this drabble series is making you nostalgic. besides me telling you all a bit about myself, the main goal really was to create a slice of life piece that makes people reminisce their school days xo

drabble series / part 4

today was momentous.

freedom was teasing her, dangling sweet summer fruits and the smell of sea salt in front of her. she gritted her teeth, her wrist aching as she frantically wrote the final few sentences of her last question. the clock was ticking, and it would all be over soon.

three.

two.

one…

“that’s it, everyone! time’s up!”

she had never packed up her things so fast in her life, practically shoving her way through the throng of students gathering outside the exam hall. all she could think about was feeling the warm sun on her skin and seeing the patches of blue between the jagged white clouds. today marked the final exam she had to sit, and she was now completely free for the summer.

in a exactly a week’s time, she would be sunning herself on the beach, swimming through crystal-clear waters, and snacking on crunchy slices of watermelon in the shade of palm trees with her best friends. in a week’s time, she would be back home for a whole month, a prospect that should make her buzz with excitement, if not for the nagging reminder of just one thing.

she wouldn’t be seeing toji.

they’d had a handful of conversations over the past three weeks, but nothing more had progressed. she still wasn’t sure if he really liked her, and she was starting to become convinced that she had to cut her losses. it was becoming exhausting overanalyzing toji’s every word, trying to decipher any hidden meanings in his messages and figuring out times when he might have been glancing at her too.

the chase was quite boring without much progress to show for it, and it was a hard pill to swallow that toji probably just wasn’t into her the way she wanted him to be.

she put her headphones and tuned out the world – and all thoughts of toji – attempting to bask in the sheer relief of having finished her exams, which had all gone relatively well. later that night, after pampering herself with an extra self-care routine in the shower, she called her friends for a celebratory gaming session. naturally, she aired out her frustrations about her gorgeous boy.

“i’m just worried the conversation is gonna completely fizzle out, ya know?” she ranted, rapidly clicking her mouse buttons. “it’s not like we’ll be on the bus together anymore.”

“oh my god, girl. i literally agree with your mom,” asa suddenly snapped, taking her aback in shock. “why don’t you just ask him on a date right now?”

“r-right now?” she sputtered. “i can’t do that.”

“why not? if he says no, then you’ll know if he doesn’t like you, and you can move on,” morgoth hummed, a rare voice of reason for once.

that was a whole lot easier said than done.

could she even do something so bold? she doubted she was courageous enough for something like that, and she was still clinging to her little girl dream of being asked out by a boy on her first date. her heart started to pound as it battled with her mind, her soul watching the back and forth she was having within herself.

suddenly, a thread snapped, and the raging waves stilled as if nothing had ever happened.

fuck it.

she left the game, earning cries of protest and anger from her friends, and whipped open her notes app on her phone. if she thought too much, she would chicken out and change her mind. after typing a dozen variations of how she was going to phrase the message, she finally settled on one and quickly copied and pasted it into their snapchat conversation.

hey toji, are you free by any chance to hang out tomorrow? x

and hit send.

oh…

she hit send.

she.

hit.

send.

“holy fucking shit,” she whispered incredulously, a sense of dread spreading from her head to her toes.

morgoth grunted, “what happened now?”

“i just asked toji out on a date tomorrow,” she replied, voice cracking with electric nerves.

her friends both sputtered and coughed at the same time. “fuck off, no you didn’t,” asa said, obviously shell-shocked with a hint of excitement. “tomorrow?!”

“what do you mean ‘fuck off’?! you told me to do it,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and rocking back and forth on her bed.

“hah! well, what did you say?”

“i just asked him if he wanted to hang out tomorrow, and i put an ‘x’ at end to kind of… i don’t know, flirt i guess?”

her friends both cackled, and heat rose to her chest and face.

toji fushiguro is typing…

she gasped, more so screamed, “guys, fuck! oh my god, oh my god! he’s typing.”

“that was quick,” commented morgoth under his breath.

toji fushiguro has sent you a chat!

another shrill gasp. “guys, he replied!”

“leave it!” asa giggled, his giddiness infectious and making her laughter bubble out of her chest. “don’t be a desperate bitch.”

“fuck you, he replied quick! I’m not gonna just sit here and wait.”

toji fushiguro: yeah should be free for a bit tomorrow, when were you thinking?

oh my.

oh my…

“what’s he saying, huh?” asa giggled again.

“something good, i guess. her breathing suddenly got quicker,” morgoth chuckled, his laughter reverberating through his microphone.

hmm not sure haha, whenever you’re free i guess, i’m free all day tomorrow

play it cool. play it cool, goddamn it.

toji fushiguro: yeah, what about some time in the afternoon sure?

yeah sweet, does 4 sound okay or is that too late?

toji fushiguro: yeah 4 should be sweet, sounds good

aight, where do you wanna go? i still don’t know the good places to go to lmao

toji fushiguro: tbh i have no idea, sure like let’s just see when we meet up what you’re feeling

“hehe, guys, he says it’s up to what i’m feeling.”

ahaha ok then, where do you wanna meet up then?

toji fushiguro: oh yeah shit, uh you know where like the big wheel kinda is at the seafront? we could meet up there if you want?

the ferris wheel ahaha?

toji fushiguro: yeah the big wheel ahahah, literally the most recognizable place i could think of in town

haha ok no worries, i’ll see you tomorrow then, i’ll text you when i get there :)

toji fushiguro: yeah see you tomorrow x

she wasn’t a physical being limited to the confines of her bedroom anymore. no, she was limitless and infinite, soaring with ravens among the indigo clouds of twilight, her heart leaping with every sudden dip of their wings. life was good, life was meaningful, and holy shit. toji fushiguro had agreed to go on her very first date ever with her.

“guys.”

“what?”

“he sent me an ‘x’, and we’re going on a date tomorrow.”

general taglist: @tadabzzzbee @wannapizzamymindposts @stromynight

school bus love taglist: @badbyeyoongi

p.s: fun fact, these are the actual text messages i sent to my boyfriend the day i asked him out :3

#toji fushiguro x reader #toji x you #toji x reader #toji x y/n #jujutsu kaisen toji #jujutsu kaisen #jjk toji #toji zenin #toji fluff #jjk fluff #toji drabbles #jjk drabbles #toji fushiguro

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bucked-it-up · 1 day

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long post but my current thoughts on the bob situation

I think that some of the wilder takes and bigger BOB takes that we are seeing are highly based in getting attention and validation. Validation and attention can cause you do to a lot of things that maybe you wouldn't do otherwise, particulary the hate towards tommy (and lou) and the constant theorising of how something means bucktommy breakup or bvddie romantic relationship.

I particularly feel this is true for some of the bigger twt/tiktok accounts as I know of at least two that didn't start watching the show till after the bucktommy kiss and then primarily watched it because to them it meant that bvddie could happen, so they start making posts with theories against bucktommy and theories for bvddie as it gets them views and followers.

With these interviews coming out with Ryan saying multiple times that Eddie is straight and both Oliver and Ryan saying they want to not fall into stereotypes. This further goes against what the bobs think which means once again they will scramble for reasons for romantic bvddie in despite of what both actors have said as it is what their followers expcet of them.

I also in particular want to point out that Ryan sounds very passionate about the current friendship with Buck and Eddie and wants to advocate for men (especially the macho, traditional masculinity male) to be vulnerable in frienships and feel comfortable with say a friend coming out or just be able to talk about feelings with one another. I feel like this gets missed by bobs to push the romantic bvddie narrative.

To go back to the validation I don't think even if these accounts start to doubt romantic bvddie, they can't say anything nor do they want to because they would lose followers from it so they double down and sound more and more delusional. I hope that even with this possibly feeding their actions they realise that its not healthy to hang onto something this much and maybe not like bucktommy but be neutral or quiet about their dislike of it publicly.

I want to finish this on that their arguments are becoming/already are homophobic and they are being racist to some bucktommy fans. They also should not being speaking about lou in the way that they are. I get why they love fanon bvddie is has the romantic chemistry they think canon has but right now bvddie is not and will not be canon anytime soon nor do I believe it ever will be.

#pls read it all #bucktommy #anti buddie #911 discourse #winnie thoughts #911 abc

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absolutebl · 3 days

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Industry question for you, please: Why is it that it seems that Thai BL in particular has some really systemic issues with writing endings? Screwed-up pacing/editing, out-of-character/illogical actions, not being very satisfying... it seems like a show avoiding that fate is more of an exception than the rule, unfortunately. Do a lot of them just... not write the ending ahead of time? 😅 That would make having these sort of wacked-up endings at least make some sense, but... really, it makes *no* sense to me that that would be the actual standard writing strategy-- I mean, for example, one of the best living novel authors I know of *always* has very satisfying endings, literally without fail (I have read everything he's written and been perfectly content with the ending of every one), and the reason for that is he purposefully always writes the endings of his books *first*, then works everything back up to that point. Similarly, some of the best TV shows I've seen (from any country-- and this does actually include some Thai ones, to be fair) were written either all in one go or at the *very* least with their endings obviously already very firmly in mind, regardless of if they were completely original or were adaptations of some other source material. So... why does this often seem to be such a difficulty for the writers of Thai BL? 😅 (Sorry if I sound a little salty here, but endings either make or break all fiction for me {novels, manga/manhwa, TV, movies, games, whatever}, and I've been getting burned what seems to be more and more often lately with shows being great for the vast majority of their runtime but then inexplicably totally botching the landing, seemingly out of nowhere-- so I'm a bit frustrated with that when it seems to be a really simply-solved problem {that, indeed, has already been solved by many others before}: JUST WRITE THE DAMN ENDING *FIRST* and then work up to it? 🙃😅)

Endings huh? You a romance reader by nature? (Wait, no, you said... HE. So... Sparks? Green?) Anygay, where was I?

But yeah, I get it. I've always fancied the dessert course the most, myself.

To answer your question, not sure. I'm assuming its a narrative expectation based in culture. Like Japan and their lanes, China and 6 act structure, or Korea's adoration of love triangles. And producing culture comes to film and storytelling with its own set narrative conceits, archetypes, and tropes and aren't proscriptive but are leaned on a lot. Much as they come to film with a certain style as well.

Think about the "look" of Korean BL compared to the "look" of Taiwanese BL, for example. They have an entirely different flavor to them. Korean stuff is usually all bright and airy, lots of distance shots, super clean and uncluttered, filtered and filmy and atmospheric. Taiwanese stuff is much closer, more grainy, more bold with it's color choices and contrasts, kind-up n your face and gritty, a bit messy sometimes.

It's jarring to go from one to the other.

After watching nothing but Asian dramas for so long, I always find it jarring to go back to American shit. It feels over-acted and unsubtle and kind of brash. Over all "loud" and in my face. Jarring.

So when first encountering 4 or 6 act structure most westerners feel a little unmoored, it doesn't feel comfortable until you sink into it and leave 3 & 5 behind.

I'm mean I'm so used to K-dramas with that arbitrary year or more separation in the final episode I;m now shocked when it's not there.

I guess what I'm saying is maybe it's just a thing with Thailand, not to put that much truck in endings. The way (especially) romances do in the western world. There's a very fixed idea of what an HEA should look like in the west. Thailand may not share that idea.

I've not read the source books of any of these BLs, so I don't know if this is just their narrative style or not.

I mean there are some Thai BLs with good (if not great) endings, and plenty of Korean BLs with terrible middles, and far too many Taiwanese BLs with bad beginnings.

Ya just kinda get used to it, I guess.

15 Thai BLs with Good Endings

A Tale of Thousand Stars

Bad Buddy

Lovely Writer

2gether

Be My Favorite

Dark Blue Kiss (possibly my favorite on this list)

Destiny Seeker

Make a Wish

Naughty Babe

SOTUS

#asked and answered #sort of #stories represent culture #it;s the whole point #actually #thai bl #bad endings

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elliespuns · 2 days

Text

Okay, so ever since the pics of Bella and Isabela on a horse came out, I've been receiving some hateful asks about the actresses (rude comments about their appearance, acting skills, etc.) and the show itself too. I won't be answering those.

I am not here to hate or demean. I never said I hated the show, Bella, or any other actor. I never said that Bella looks ugly or is a bad actress either. I never said anything hateful about anything related to HBO Tlou.

What I've recently stated was that (from the pictures we've seen) the actresses seemed to look too young in comparison to the original characters. There was nothing hateful about it. It was just thinking out loud because every game fan wants the show to stay true to the original in every aspect that can be implemented. That's understandable, right? It doesn't mean that when some of us point out something, we're being hateful.

For example, we all know nobody can make the actresses taller, so only a dummy would complain about that. But at the same time, we all know that there are make-up artists that can make them look older, so why not do so to stay in tune with the original? That was literally everything I meant, and I don't think it was a bad thing to vent about.

I guess a lot of people confuse straightforward opinions and honest insights with hate or rudeness.

No one said that Bella or Isabela looking young was their fault (people be throwing arguments about how they are adults in real life too), of course they are; nobody's blaming the actors for looking young. We are blaming the creators if the final result will give people a reason to shame the show for a lack of realism due to this matter. Keep in mind that not everyone watching the show will be aware of Bella or Isabela's real age. What we want is to prevent the haters from hating on the show even more after they watch two young-looking girls making out, slaying everyone throughout Seattle and then settling down on a farm with a kid. Because remember my words—if we really have Ellie and Dina looking too young and adorable in the final result, it's going to be a feast for the assholes that have wanted to shit on the show since day one.

Anyway, I shouldn't be even justifying myself, but since I'm already typing this… I've always appreciated the show, even though there were many aspects that made me highly disappointed (I said it so many times in my past posts). The game lovers all know what these aspects are, and I think we can all agree.

One of the reasons I always liked the show though, was the cast. I fucking love Pedro for Joel. Bella wasn't at all a bad choice either (sure, people will still bitch about their appearance, but for me, it's the way a person performs, not the looks). Bella is a great actress, and they've dealt with what they've been given with grace. Also, I admire Bella and Pedro's dynamic and bond behind the cameras. This is a huge plus for the relationships they should have as Ellie and Joel, just like Ashley and Troy back then.

So no, I won't hate. I know a lot of you would enjoy me trashing the show, but I am not going to do it because I don't feel it. I may have opinions that are considered negative for the hyped HBO fans (even though I perceive them more as a form of venting to the game fans), but I mean no harm with those. After all, they are just opinions, and people don't have to agree with them and can move on.

I will still be answering asks about the show, even if you send opinions that are not at all positive. I will still comment on them, or just post them so you can be "heard." But I won't share those that I consider unnecessarily rude. I'm not going to participate in this kind of blogging.

After all, I'm 99% of the game blogger anyway :)

#i've spoken #the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #dina nolastname #bella ramsey #isabela merced #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #joel miller #the last of us part 2 #the last of us season 2

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perfectfangirl · 2 days

Text

notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep2

• dogmeat's introduction 🥺 • the enclave being shown as supremely evil because how could you incinerate live puppies 😭 • i want more backstory on siggi because i am curious if this is change of heart or like a mole • the super mutant hand needs to go from easter egg to reality next season forreal • i noticed siggi was drinking whiskey? to numb the paid of putting that cold fusion chip in his head--- i also wonder if he was drinking because he knew he wasn't going to make it • saw on reddit someone asking so it's the enclave who has cold fusion? and i'm still a bit confused about that because... i was thinking moldaver had something to do with its creation but then siggi knew exactly who lucy was... if the enclave is supposed to be a continuation of the pre war us government, then it feels like there's more tying the enclave and vault tec together than i thought

• in the escape scene, it seems like the other scientist knew siggi was betraying the enclave, but how? if they have cold fusion, was it obvious he was "stealing" it and trying to give it to someone else? maybe i have gaps in my knowledge here • siggi genuinely does seem like he's trying to do the right thing though 🥲 • dogmeat seeing that guy try to harm siggi and dogmeat fuckin' him up ❤️ •game dogmeat being referred sometimes as a boy and show dogmeat being a girl lol [love the gender doesn't matterism here gldfgld]

• the people who are enslaved work at the enclave being held there and escape meaning death • if these are namibia scenes where lucy is treking, they are breathtaking, wonderful worldbuilding • lucy seeing a tumblewwd for the first time and going "the heck?" but then i like, remember she doesn't really know what "wind" is 😭 [and this also subverts the "tumbleweed blowing in the wind through a desert or desolate place" trope, i'm sorry but this a masterclass in comedy lmao] • her coming across me bodies but this time skeletons at a dinner table, a family of four i believe, all having taken poison, vault tech brand [a chilling scene but fallout is known for their hilariously placed skeletions so there's one with a cup of dirt in front of it] • probably the first time lucy is being confronted by hank and/or vault tec's lies, depending • lucy setting a [camp] fire, and me recognizing immediately it was a bad move [i watch too much stuff 💀] • i honestly' can't believe she took off her pip boy • dogmeat finding lucy 🥺 • it was destiny in so many ways because dogmeat is tearing that radroach the fuck up • siggi giving like a monologue in the most unsettling voice ever was so funny to me • siggi trying to tell her these animals [if you can call them that] up to are insane and genuinely in the nicest way possible trying to tell her she should go home • "question is, will you still want the same things when you have become a different animal altogether?" is some crazy foreshadowing • the cold fusion capsule glowing as he walks away • lord titus being an asshole and maximus doing the same to thaddeus lmao • lord titus "wanting to shoot something" and his stupidity leading to his own demise • [i like neither lord titus or the actor that plays him so dkfsdkgd] • dogmeat going into the yao guai den and coming back with a hand like it was sharing it with them 😭 • maximus being continuously disrespected and knocked down a peg, he doesn't deserve this 😞 • insane how close and somehow inadvertently hot on the trail lord titus and maximus was for siggi and dogmeat • learning squires appears to be a dime a dozen and that's one reason lord titus sent maximus deeper into the cave, the other is that he was scared • maximus seemed to be both disillusioned and struck with fear watching the yao guai attack lord titus--- so it was almost breathtakingly offensive when lord titus decided to blame maximus for everything and wanting him like, court martialed almost for this incident, despite maximus being small of gunned and armourless, despite them both being scared, lord titus blames maximus for lord titus' own failings • "this wasteland fucking sucks!" love that running motif • anyways glad that guy died, next! • lmao this very disgusting man in a diaper or something being thankful lucy didn't shoot him but also drinking all her water 😭 • lucy getting a taste of wasteland selfishness and desperation gdfgdgfd • maximus belongs in a power suit • this chicken fucking man having the elixir to immortality or regeneration or whatever it is 😭 • and the chicken farmer, in a cameo, is a makeup designer and props department person 🙂 • in a beautiful shot, it looks like lucy is in the famous car forest or a replica of it • her trying to be convivial and people just not having it 😢 • filly is very fallout and i assume gamers enjoyed this scene because • everyone is in bizarre and comical mad max style outfits, iguana meat • so i just read filly was named because it's a landfill but also there's the fact it was filmed in an airplane and automobile graveyard outside new jersey [close to philadelphia] and that there is a fillmore, california • also saw where it's modeled to look a lot like megaton and i thought this on first viewing • i didn't even realize cooper was already shown sitting and waiting, the crossing of paths was crazy • lucy seeing degeneracy first hand 💀 • lucy seeing weird shit and smiling because she, too, is weird

• cooper mysteriously and sexily watching from afar after cornering his bounty • "barv get in here" not ma june calling her friend to come and point and laugh at lucy • moldaver being ma june's client and that's why she shuts lucy down so fast after she asks about that pip boy • ma june saying lucy got all ten fingers, damn the writers were so • "i know that it can't have been easy for you up here, what with all the murder and the dirt" lmao lucy please • lucy realising vault tec's demonic saviour complex is very hard to preach about to wastelanders, people who have survived for centuries and without the help of the vaulties • lucy really is from the rich part of town because ma june was so insulted by her lies, she took her gun out • cooper, siggi, lucy intersecting was so crazy though • kind of wondering why siggi didn't wear a disguise as a wanted man • siggi trying to ne nice and warning lucy to leave versus ma june harshly reminding cooper him and his ghoul kind aren't wanted in filly • getting chills that siggi is explaining to lucy what her vault experiment basically was as i didn't see it as that on first watch • siggi was telling her to go home because if someone smart realized who she was or where she came from, all hell would break loose • ok so cooper says the bounty went out from all six agencies but i could only think of three, wondering who they all are • ma june mentions she was given caps for siggi's safe transport out fo filly, cooper mentioning a bidding war, is that why he shot siggi's leg clean off [probably did because bounty was dead or alive] • ma june getting people clipped by putting caps on whoever can take cooper down first ? • cooper smiling as all them people descend on him because this is the "the love of the game" shit he was talkin' bout ?￰ﾟﾒﾀ • "all this murder makin' me hungry" cooper essentially • him eating those cherry tomatoes and then paying for them ? • almost forgot cooper actually did get shot multiple times and kept goin', ghouls are somethin' else • noticing cooper gave ma june a nonlethal leg shot versus basically sending siggi to his demise with his • cooper stabbing not shooting dogmeat • cooper was about to shoot but lucy's candor and mortality was a breath of fresh air, he was so shook lmao • he was so charmed, he kept walking, leaving him open to her shooting him in quite literally his heart [ok symbolism] ?, smiling and everything • "well now that is a very small drop in a very, very large bucket of drugs" lmaooo they created ultrajet for ghouls because jet isn't strong enough for them • lucy being immediately impressed with the t60 • i hate maximus had to lie because this was so "knight in shining armour" but why did he reveal his face to lucy knowing if the brotherhood of steel had found out this early about what he did, he'd be dead meat like • cooper almost shot that girl like three times ldgld • i genuinely think the tranquilizer effected him but just a tinsy bit • siggi saying he could still make the trip and ma june saying he'd be lucky to make it to breakfast ? • jim's limbs has be cracking up every time • them installing that robo leg onto siggi is the most gory and disgusting scene to me and i hope it gets worse • something oddly sweet about siggi saying lucy can take him to moldaver after nearly begging lucy to go back home for her own safety, she put her life on the line to save him ? • cooper getting mopped by maximus in that power suit sends • i didn't realize after maximus made cooper fall, cooper says "goddamn, that hurt" ? • "you drive that thing like a fucking shopping cart" and it's a power suit gldgfld • that snake oil salesman really was telling the truth, he maybe could've healed siggi • cooper petting dogmeat while giving them a stimpak, cooper showing a genuine smile while doing so • siggi really lost too much blood and i thought this back in filly • siggi saying the cynanide pill from vault tec was the most humane thing they produced, pre war was a dark time

#fallout #fallout show #the ghoul #cooper #lucy #maximus #the target #ghoulcy #text post #my meanderings

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dangopango00 · 3 days

Text

The Amazing Digital Circus and Escapism

A/N: Just watched and I LOOVEEEE cooking theories for these kinda of Youtube Series even if they turn out to be wrong so Heres the incomprehensible youtube comment I made just now bye

I like to put preliminary theories for series like this and my theory for this is that the circus is some kind of representation of escapism and/or maladaptive daydreaming

1. There's a shit ton of religious symbolism, maybe suggesting that the circus is supposed to be “heaven” although it has underlying hellish elements. For example, cain being portrayed as god and the fact that he doesn’t seem to really get why anyone would want to leave. In contrast, his name references the brother of abel who was cursed by god for his jealous rage. Not only this but, how everything is generally upbeat but there are momentary mental breaks when they are brought back to reality.

2. Reality is often blurred: The characters are real people but its suggested the lines are easily blurred like in the fact that pomni gets attached to a character that was never real to begin with or the fact that cain hints that it can be hard to tell the difference between real characters and npcs

3. Anecdotal but the fact that everyone seems to have a different vision for how the adventures should be played out: Jax wants action and violence, ragatha just wants something stimulating and pomni wants something comforting; the fact that jax gets upset when his vision isn't fulfilled feels very similar to mishaps when maladaptive daydreaming

4. Glitches and the video game setting overall: Idk if its just me but in maladaptive daydreaming its very easy for the mind to wander or mess up, causing a “glitch” in the story which I think is very similar to the glitches in the show

More UTC

5. The concept of VR itself is pretty much one step away from active escapism and although a bit of a stretch, I think the fact that the characters can’t take off their headset references their unwillingness to live in reality rather than actually being forced

6. Character behavior: How pomni goes from extremely weirded out to accepting and even slightly enjoying the circus feels very reminiscent of how it feels to first start maladaptive daydreaming as its an entirely odd thing to do but when you get into it it turns out to be fun and you keep doing it for hours. Ragatha is also interesting because she seems to ignore reality in favor of keeping herself sane, even ignoring devastating truths she realizes when she moves on from her mental breaks so quickly which is pretty much what maladaptive daydreaming is.

7. Exit: When pomni makes it to the exit and sees the desk setup with the headset, she began to lose her mind and instead of going forward to the next door she started going back (i think). I think this was her momentarily remembering how she felt like nothing in real life but in the circus she could be the main character (i think she struggled with feeling like nothing in the real world because of how much she brings it up and sympathizes with gummigoo, probably feeling like an npc irl) though either way she leaves the scene, likely not wanting to remember how her life was before.

8. Abstraction: Since we haven’t seen much of it Im still not completely sure but if I had to guess— I think abstraction is when you completely separate yourself from reality and live in a daydream full time since abstraction means “The quality of dealing with ideas rather than events” which is pretty much what escapism is; I think abstraction is likely a state of complete delusion as is hinted in the show by saying people who abstract are crazy

Overall I think the digital circus is probably either about escapism in general and/or a commentary on how we distract ourselves from serious topics almost as if we are children protecting ourselves from real life.

#the amazing digital circus #digital circus #amazing digital circus #tadc pomni #tadc #tadc jax #tadc ragatha #tadc theory #tadc caine #tadc gangle #tadc kinger #tadc zooble #ITS SO GOODDDD #I need a new episode NEOW (i just watched the new one)#I didnt research much into this but #just watching for the first time this is what I thought

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justoneofthoseghosts · 1 day

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Back from the dead to scream into the void about Bridgerton because the Polin brain rot is real. I've watched the episodes twice now and have some thoughts nobody asked for:

Colin with all that new found swagger after his hot boy summer just makes me cringe. That whole montage with the ladies - er, no, thanks. Give me back my sensitive Colin please.

Nicola Coughlan is amazing, truly a superstar. She embodies the role so well, in all the bits - comedy, romance, intimate scenes. Ugh. I hope she gets more leading roles!!

Love that Colin drops all pretenses when he senses Penelope's distress at the first ball - sensitive Colin is still there folks!

Also, I think we moved on too quickly from his apology. "There is nothing more I want than to earn back the favor of the one person who has always truly made me feel appreciated." Luke said in an interview that the best version of Colin was the one when he was with Penelope (or something like that) and it does ring true in the first half of the season even if he comes up with this disastrous and misguided plan to help her find a husband. He's always himself when he's with her - there's no postering, no swagger.

I am a huge rom com nerd so I truly appreciated all the rom com elements in this. Nicola just ate that all up. She was amazing in all the awkward moments in the second and third episodes and Luke did a good job too. You could really see their chemistry and how they fed off each other!

They talk about how they first met. Please 🥺 it's the same meeting as in the book and the way they reminisce about it while walking in the market was so cute, straight out of a rom com!

Kinda cringed at Colin's journals because they were about girls 🤡 should have kept them as they were in the book where they were more about his travels.

"We shall gallop along" is this season's "I oiled my way right in" 😂

The first kiss scene was incredible. I think I prefer it to the book because there is much more emotional connection between them - they've been lifelong friends as opposed to acquittances in the book (even if Colin was starting to see Pen in a new light by then). The connection between them is undeniable but they each get something different from it. To Pen, it's the ending. The last thing she would ask from him before she let him go. To Colin, it's the awakening, the shift of his feelings, the beginning of its growth.

Pining, yearning Colin is not as unhinged and chaotic as in the book but I think he might get there in the second half. At least I hope because chaotic, unhinged Colin in the book was pretty great. I mean, interrupting a dance was kind of unhinged of him to do.

But I do like how down bad he becomes after that one kiss 😂 Luke really portrayed it well in the first few minutes of the third episode.

I quite like Francesca and John even though I know how that will end. Curious to see if they'll take front and center in season 4 or if the show is renewed, it'll be in season 5.

I know it is an ensemble show but there seems to be a lot more subplots this season?

lol at Portia trying to get her daughters pregnant when one of them hasn't even done it yet since getting married 💀

Penelope and Eloise ❤️‍🩹 they miss each other ☹️ also, I do not care for Cressida.

I've always liked Violet's talks with her children and how in tuned she is with each of them.

Can't lie, I loved the carriage scene - Colin's confession, the momentary disappointment that he was getting friend zoned, the intimacy but most especially towards the end where they could just laugh together because at the heart of it, they were very, very good friends first.

Also, that look Colin gets when he realizes he's going to marry Penelope? Chef's kiss, 10/10, no notes. Luke really delivered and I think it helps that a lot of the Bridgerton actors are theater actors because they have a distinct way of showcasing little nuisances in their facial expressions.

Needless to say, I enjoyed it. Even if there were some key departures from the book, I think it was a fairly good job. I can't fault them for bringing in an external force (another suitor) to help Colin realize his feelings even more. In the book, a lot of it happens in his head, which can be hard to translate to a show. At least we got rid of the suitor early and it didn't become a legitimate love triangle.

I do need a Lady Danbury and Penelope alliance though. I loved that in the book and I hope they don't drop it!

#bridgerton spoilers #polin #bridgerton

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 3 days

Note

Can I request RoR family with a teen reader who's extremely scared of injections due to being experimented on a child? Like having full blown panic attacks and she accidentally ended up scratching one of them really hard when they tried to force her to take her vaccines as she didn't take them as a child

-This wasn’t real, it wasn’t happening! It couldn’t be happening! Your ears were just playing tricks on you! Yeah-that’s it, it’s one of those auditory hallucinations you’ve heard of!

-Nikola, who had been the one to tell you that it was time for everyone’s yearly flu shot vaccine, to prevent anyone from getting sick, since there were so many in the house.

-You were fairly new in the family and the house, having been rescued and adopted by them only about 6 months ago, and those 6 months have been absolute heaven compared to the hell you had been trapped in prior.

-Beelzebub, who was helping administer the vaccines to everyone, looked over, after he finished with Hercules, who bent the normal needle and needed a thicker needle so it would get in, and saw the fear on your face.

-Your hands were gripping at your arms as you started seeing visions, flashbacks from when you were trapped, when they were grabbing your arms, pushing needle after needle into your arm filled with who knows what, ignoring your screams or beating you if you were bothering them.

-Jack, who was going right after you, could see your blinding fear, this wasn’t like what he would see when he could kill others, this was something… terrible.

-You felt like you couldn’t breathe, your throat felt tight, almost like it was stuck, seeing the syringes on the table, waiting for you and the others behind you, your eyes locked on them, unwavering as you struggled to breathe.

-Buddha was quick to put a hand over your eyes, pulling you back into his chest, to ground you, but this had the opposite effect as you immediately flinched and freaked out, crying out, trying to get free.

-They weren’t expecting this reaction, but they also remembered that you had been severely abused, as Buddha was panicking, not knowing if he should let you go or not as you were clawing at his hands, thinking he was holding you hostage.

-He let you go after Thrud told him to release you and you ran, rushing away from the area, looking for a place to hide, as they all realized that you had been retraumatized.

-It was two hours later when Nikola found you, after all the other vaccines had been given, finding you in Raiden’s room, hiding under his kotatsu.

-He was very patient and gentle with you, holding your hand softly, speaking gently, telling you that he didn’t mean to scare you, and unlike those who had abused you, he told you what the shot was for, and what was in the needle.

-That still didn’t mean you got the shot however, as you firmly refused to get poked again, not wanting to be in pain again.

-Your family was supportive, letting you know that was okay, and Beelzebub was the one who surprised you next, showing you that he was able to get the flu vaccine into a pill to take instead, just for you.

-It took you a few days to come around to the idea of taking it, but they never pushed you or rushed you, letting you do it on your own terms, which felt so nice to you, as they let you make the decision.

-Buddha was extra cuddly with you, holding you close as you watched 101 Dalmatians with him and Zerofuku, as his way of apologizing to you for scaring you.

-It was so nice to have a family like this one, to have so many people that cared about you. They made you feel so safe, even when it was flu season.

#record of ragnarok #ror x reader #ror beelzebub #ror nikola tesla #ror buddha #ror zerofuku

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quodekash · 3 days

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I didnt get enough sleep last night but its not my fault qtoey fuckin kissed

hes literally the most babygirl in this entire show

HIM FRANTICALLY CLEANING UP I LOVE HIM SM

I love this more than I can ever possibly describe

it's so silly

so goofy

HES SO GOOFY

they should kiss again I think

babes your voice just got three octaves higher, do better at lying next time

who the FUCK is this guy and why is he being introduced in episode 7 of 16 (apparently 16??? it's wild that this show is supposed to be 16 episodes long (according to mdl?) cos we're not even halfway through the show and 2 out of 4 of the main couples have officially kissed, and 1 is officially together. which is insane when you think about how msp is 12 episodes long and tinngun didnt properly kiss til thE END OF THE LAST FUCKING EPISODE)

(no im never getting over this, they COULD have counted 67 FUCKING TIMES throughout the show and they fucking DIDNT)

anyway this guy is probably gonna be a main part of the drama that's gonna go down in order to keep this show long enough 😭

why cant we just keep the light and fluffy show as it is and keep spreading joy and dopamine straight to my bones

two adorable little munchkins standing next to each other

theyre my sons

THAT LITTLE GIGGLE I CANT

whAT rEAlLY???

he asked if he could hit on you, then asked if he could KISS you, AND THEN YALL FUCKIN MADE OUT IN A HAUNTED HOUSE

AND THEN WHEN YOU SAW HIM TODAY, HE MADE SILLY KISSY LIPS AT YOU

so I suggest you all give up on this "plan", and change to this real plan: march up to him, ask him out, plant a kiss on his cheek, take your fuckin artist easels and canvases to a fuckin beach at sunset, paint and make out

oml pun's an astrology girlie

HOLY FUCK ITS HAPPENING

what the fuck no why does it look like its gonna get angsty, I cant do this :(

dont make me watch toey sob, I dont want that, I want them to make out again :((

im so confused dude why is he so angry

I genuinely dont get it

I mean im watching at 2x speed so I can get through this quickly so I might've missed some dialogue somewhere or smth, but still

why's he angry

idk why he's angry but I do know one thing: satang is too fucking good at portraying anguish

im too tired to process words so im not entirely sure what he means but I think it sounds poetic so we're gonna go with that

(ahem) THATS SO BEAUTIFUL WTF

WHAT THE FUCK

brb just gonna rip my fucking SOUL out

"its like im sitting in a vast grassy field with a gentle breeze under a bright sky" OKAY WTF ARE THE GMM WRITERS READING MY TUMBLR POSTS OR SMTH

THATS LITERALLY HOW I DESCRIBED THE WAY WIN PROBABLY FEELS ABOUT SOUND

its why his heart doesnt beat fast for sound, he just doesnt have that kind of crush, its more of a relaxing crush, like a gentle breeze

ill fucking find the post if I can

I literally wrote an extended metaphor poem combined with a fic about it

what the fuck dude

if they're watching my posts then why havent they given us my satang and perth siblings agenda yet

and where is the markford series

gmm I know you're looking at this, answer my fucking questions guys

I LOVE THEIR FRIEND GROUP SO FUCKING MUCH DUDE

they all just make me so happy 😭😭😭

okay but he didnt know you were milk frappe boy when hE FUCKING MADE OUT WITH YOU IN A HAUNTED HOUSE

theyre holdin hansssss

is what I think and want to happen about to happen

that wasnt grammar but its fine

THEYF CYKING END IT THERE??

BUT HES ALL PUCKERED UP

HES READY

ALSO THEYRE IN A SCHOOL HALLWAY AND IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY

WTF

I HAVE TO WAIT A FUCKING WEEK TO FEEL JOY????

COME ON MAN

oh fuck yes next week theyre goi g to a volunteer camp

volunteer camp episodes are always comfort episodes so thjis is gonna be GOOD

PUN DID IT BC HE WANTS QTOEY TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER??? BRO HE'STHE WINGMAN OF ALL TIME

well anyway I just wanna see qtoey kiss again :(

ill rewatch that one scene in the meantime

buhbye for now my friends, see yous next week

#quodekash's side couple syndrome boss fight #we are the series #winnysatang #qtoey #I would tag the other ships but I like didnt talk about any of them at all in this post #winny thanawin #satang kittiphop #pond naravit #poon mitpakdee #we are series

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burntsaltsblog · 3 days

Text

Shiny New Toy

(felix catton\reader)

chapter five

details: a saltburn inspired short story.

content warning: profanity, explicit sexual content, and mentions of abuse (physical and mental)

warning for this chapter: this chapter depicts explicit sexual content. if you are not an adult, DO NOT READ!!!

MNI 18+

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"I heard he fucked his cousin."

Everyone collectively groaned as Felix reached up to cover my ears with his hands. I playfully batted them away as I giggled at his protectiveness.

"Farleigh, I will pay you to stop talking," Felix said as he gave up on prohibiting my hearing. He wrapped a possessive arm around my shoulder, pulling me close and tucking me into his side like I was before Farleigh spewed such ridiculous information.

"That can be arranged," Farleigh replied. "Though, you should know I will only accept payment in diamonds and gold bars. But that shouldn't be too difficult for you." An impish smile was painted on his face, which glowed under the sun that graciously shone down on us. We had gathered at a table on the quad during a brief break between classes.

Felix rolled his eyes as his fingers lightly traced my arm, raising goosebumps under my shirt. I snuggled closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder, feeling content.

Life had been good. I hadn't seen Eric since he attacked me a month ago, and a couple of days after the gruesome event, he was kicked out of school for possessing multiple "illegal substances." I had a feeling Felix had something to do with that. Usually, my moral compass would cause me to feel poorly about someone being falsely accused of something. But I didn't care how Felix got rid of Eric in this case. I was just glad he was gone.

"Mum has a fat ruby that she keeps locked up at home that I think you'd quite like, but knowing you, you'll shove it up your arse at one of your orgies," Venetia snickered.

"Wait, you have orgies?" I asked, joining the conversation. "That oddly makes sense."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Farleigh shot back, turning his attention on me with a sharp raise of his sculpted brow.

"I think it's pretty self-explanatory."

Venetia and I exchanged glances before we burst out laughing. Farleigh tried to retain a sour expression, but I didn't miss how his mouth curled up on one side, showing his true feelings. I stole a quick look at Felix and saw him chuckling. He was relieved to see me getting along with his sister and cousin. It had taken some time, but I was finally accepted into the group, and I could hardly contain my joy. For the first time, I finally felt like I belonged somewhere.

"Shit," Venetia cursed harshly, wiping away the happy haze that had surrounded our small group. "I'm late for my next tutorial. I don't know why I signed up for History of the Theatre. I don't give a fuck about the theatre."

"Is it on Madison Road?" Farleigh asked.

"Yup. I'm going to ruin my new Dior shoes walking over there," she whined.

"Don't worry. I'm sure Daddy will buy you a new pair," Farleigh muttered. "Anyways, I have a class over there later this afternoon, so I'll walk with you. That way, you won't have to face the death of your shoes alone."

"You're too kind, cousin."

After gathering their belongings, they stood in unison and bid us farewell, immediately falling in step together as they departed. Like always, their heads gravitated towards each other, almost touching as they prattled back and forth about various topics, such as a classmate caught wearing a dreadful array of clothing or the latest scandal involving two teachers hooking up in an empty lecture hall. Felix and I watched them cross the grassy quad before they took a sharp turn behind a building, rendering them impossible to see.

"I'm glad you all are getting along. I was worried for a bit that they wouldn't come around. Especially Farleigh," Felix said quietly.

I peered at the crease between his brows and placed a finger there, attempting to smooth the lines and ease the tension on his ethereal face.

"I know me too. But it seems my irresistible charm finally won them over."

Felix smiled, closing his eyes and shaking his head. He then grasped my chin in his hand, bringing my mouth to meet his in a tender kiss. I sighed happily against his lips before I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening our embrace. Using my teeth, I dragged his bottom lip out, and a deep moan spilled from Felix's throat.

"Fuck," he whimpered. The sound shot straight to my core, and I gazed around quickly before I stood, pulling my boyfriend with me.

"Come with me," I said, lacing our fingers together.

"Where are we going?" he questioned skeptically, sensing I had something mischievous up my sleeve.

"You'll see," I grinned as I quickly walked to a clump of trees in the far corner of the quad with Felix in tow. It was void of any classmates, and my blood surged with anticipation. The trees were arranged in a particular fashion that would prohibit anyone from breaching our privacy if we huddled behind them.

I had been eyeing this spot for weeks and was waiting for the opportunity to bring Felix here. He had let it slip a while back that he occasionally liked to mess around in semi-public spots. But he had made it clear that he wanted to respect my limits and not force me into anything I was uncomfortable with. Since then, I have been searching for the ideal place that was considered public but not so out in the open that we still had an essence of seclusion.

Felix and I reached the group of trees, and I immediately pushed him up against the bark of one and rose onto my tiptoes, brandishing his lips with a searing kiss. He reacted just as I had hoped and wrapped his arms around my waist before greedily palming my ass. I could already feel him hardening against my stomach, and I pulled away, licking my lips. I gazed up at him wide-eyed as I sank to my knees.

I watched his pupils dilate before he glanced around to ensure we were hidden from any passerby's view. "Are you sure, pretty girl? I don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with."

I kept my eyes locked with Felix's as I slowly pulled down the zipper of his jeans and ran my fingers along the waistband of his boxers. "I'm sure. I want to make you feel good. Can I do that, Daddy? Please?"

Felix swallowed as he struggled to maintain his composure. "Ok, darling. Show me those pretty lips wrapped around my cock."

I didn't bother to conceal my smirk as I slipped my hand into his boxers and wrapped my hand around his hard length. I never doubted my ability to convince him of this escapade.

As I eased Felix's shaft from the confinement of his boxers, his head fell back against the tree, and I watched in wonder at the sharp line of his jaw and the smooth skin that encompassed his throat. He breathed deeply as I slowly licked from the base of his length to his swollen, red tip that was already leaking pre-cum. My mouth watered at the sight, and I eagerly swirled it around with my tongue before swallowing.

"Jesus Christ. You're going to be the death of me," Felix gasped as he ran his fingers through my hair, creating a makeshift ponytail, urging me to take him in my mouth.

"I can't think of worse ways to die."

My smile was wicked before I closed my lips around his tip and sucked, earning a moan from the man above me. One of his hands came to rest on the side of my jaw, and I took that as my cue to ease more of his length into my mouth.

"That's it, sweetheart. Take my cock like the little whore you are."

I groaned around him, which caused my throat to vibrate in the most glorious way for Felix. With both hands back in my hair, he tugged me forward so his length began descending down my throat. As a natural reaction, I started choking, and my eyes watered, making my vision of Felix blur, and I whined softly.

"I know, darling. Your throat is so full of me, but you'll be a good girl and take it because you want to please me."

Tears ran down my face, and I knew my mascara was surely smudged around my eyes, which Felix loved. He said I never looked prettier than when my makeup was ruined, and my mouth was stuffed with his cock.

Felix pulled himself out of my mouth, much to my dismay, and said, "I'm going to fuck your throat, sweetheart, and then I'm going to cum, and you'll swallow every drop like a good girl. Do you understand?"

I nodded, but Felix pulled my hair, eliciting a whimper from me as my scalp burned. "Use your words, pretty girl-"

"Yes, please, Felix. Use my mouth and throat however you want. I don't care; I just want to make you feel good."

Felix smiled smugly, pleased with my needy behavior. He lined himself up at my lips, and I promptly parted them. His length filled my mouth once again before he pulled out and hastily thrust back in. He soon found a pace that was both punishing and pleasurable, and each time he entered my mouth, his cock eased farther down my throat until I couldn't take any more of him. I drew my hands behind my back as Felix had taught me to do whenever he was using my mouth. I loved showing him how I could remember to be obedient.

His fingers dug into the base of my skull, and drool began dripping down my chin and covering my neck. I hollowed out my cheeks as Felix increased his pace.

"That's it. Just like that," Felix praised. His voice was tight, and I knew it was mere seconds before he would climax. I pulled my hands from where they rested behind my back and cupped his balls, gently squeezing them to send him over the edge.

A low, guttural cry left his mouth as hot ropes of cum shot down my throat, and I eagerly swallowed, not wanting to waste a single drop. Above me, Felix panted heavily as he leaned against the tree behind him and gently messaged my scalp to soothe the lingering ache of his rough actions.

"You did so good for me, darling. I'm so proud of you," he whispered as he gently pulled out of my mouth and quickly tucked himself back into his pants. He guided me to my feet and directly into his warm embrace, and I nuzzled my face in his neck and inhaled, breathing in his familiar scent—a combination of his usual cologne and pure Felix.

He drew random shapes on my back as he held me in his arms and continued to mutter soft words of praise. I would've gladly stayed here forever, but the annoying reminder that I had class popped into my head, and I groaned into the confines of Felix's chest.

"What is it, lovely?" he murmured.

"I have class."

I glanced at the small, gold watch wrapped around my wrist, a recent present from Felix, and saw I only had three minutes to get to a lecture all the way across campus. But I only had myself to blame, considering it was my idea to bring him here and fool around.

"I have a better idea."

I peered up at Felix with curious eyes. He gave me a chaste kiss before wrapping my hand in his calloused one and leading me away from the cover of the trees.

"Where are we going?" I giggled, trying to keep up with his long strides. I had an intense feeling of deja vu.

Felix turned back to look at me playfully. "Back to my room."

"But what about class?"

"What about class? I say, we skip it."

We stopped walking and stood face to face. I tried fixing Felix with my most displeasing stare but failed terribly and gave into the smile that was fighting its way onto my face.

"You're a terrible influence, you know that?"

"You love it."

I love you.

I closed my mouth before the words could fall out and gazed at the ground before looking back into his amber eyes and nodding as soft laughter shook my shoulders. "You're right. I do." I cupped his cheek and pulled his mouth down to mine. The kiss was short, yet it held many emotions and feelings I couldn't share.

When we parted, Felix wore a sly expression. "I take that as a yes, then?"

I shook my head in defeat. "Yes, it is."

"Then right this way, m'lady," Felix announced with a teasing voice as he wrapped an arm around my waist, guiding me toward his dormitory quarters.

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"What are you doing for the summer?"

Felix had an arm flung across my back, holding me against him, and my head rested comfortably on his chest while he asked me about my summer plans. Our clothes had been shed when we entered Felix's room, and the only material covering our bodies now was a thin cotton sheet on his narrow dorm bed.

I snuggled closer to him as I answered, "Home, I suppose. Though I can't say, I'm looking forward to it."

My mother died when I was nine, and since then, my father has run through a long list of wives. I felt like London Tipton with a new stepmother every other month. He recently divorced Synthia, my tenth stepmother, and was already courting number eleven. I would miss number ten, though. Oxford had hosted a family day a few months ago, and of course, my father failed to make an appearance, but Synthia happily showed up in his place. She was the first stepmother to make an effort in a long time, so I was bitter that my father had dumped her, and I was already planning on hating number eleven no matter how "great" she was.

"Hmm," Felix hummed as he traced the outline of my shoulder blade. He seemed deep in thought when I tilted my head up to see his face. His brow furrowed, and he bit his lip before swiping his tongue across it. I would've used that small action as a reason to pounce on him for the third time that day, but I was too curious about the thoughts I could see circulating his mind.

Felix met my eyes, and for the first time, I saw shyness inhibit his features. Bashfulness was not a typical trait for Felix, so I was immediately concerned. "What's on your mind, baby?" I asked as I brushed my hand across his cheek comfortingly.

"I..." He smiled sheepishly as his gaze shot downward. "I was wondering if you'd like to spend the summer with me. At Saltburn."

"Saltburn?"

"Yeah, that's the name of my family's estate. It's where Venetia, Farleigh, and I always spend the summer, and I'd like it if you joined us this year."

I could feel the surprise cross my face, which quickly turned to excitement as I stared at Felix, trying to find words to formulate a response. I knew we hadn't been together long, but what I felt for him was so intense and passionate that spending an entire summer without his warm, consuming presence would drive me mad. I would gladly spend the summer with him anywhere, whether it was a deserted island or his family's estate.

Felix looked at me with a hopeful expression; his eyes searched my face anxiously, and I saw his relief when I finally replied. "I would love to, Felix."

"Really?" He became giddy as he sat up. I joined him in a seated position and grasped his hands.

"Yes. I couldn't bear being without you for the whole summer. It would be pure torture. Plus, I love our little group and can hardly imagine spending the break without Farleigh or Venetia-"

Felix kissed me unexpectedly, swallowing the rest of my sentence. His hands cradled the back of my head before he drew back and sprang up from his bed. He began haphazardly searching for his clothes as he rambled his plans. "I must phone Mum and Dad right away. They knew I was going to ask you, and I've got to tell them you're coming so Duncan has plenty of time to prepare the room next to mine. Of course, you can stay in my room, but Mum prefers everyone to have a certain level of propriety and decorum at Saltburn. I mean, I'm not even allowed to wear my fucking stud there. But it's ok because a bathroom will connect our rooms, so you can sneak over without ever being caught."

Felix was panting by the time he finished his speech. Fully dressed, he rushed back to his bed, falling beside me and covering my face with kisses. I giggled before he captured my lips in a deep, slow kiss. Gone was his high level of energy as he claimed my mouth most sensually. Reluctantly, we parted, and a smile, so happy, so joyful, stretched across his beautiful face. He radiated pure bliss.

"I'll be right back." He pecked me lightly on my nose before grabbing his cell phone and departing from the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

I fell back into his bed and stretched my arms above my head. Elation soared through my body, and I turned my head, spotting the pack of cigarettes and lighter on my boyfriend's bedside table. I had never smoked before meeting Felix, and when I tried it for the first time, I was quickly scolded by him as he said, "You're lungs are too pretty to be damaged by smoke. Give it to me, darling." I had made a show of pouting as I claimed that he had made it look so sexy, and I had just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

I had tried to convince Felix that I was not interested in anyone telling me what not to do, but I secretly adored how much he cared for me and how my well-being was at the top of his priority list. I had only attempted smoking twice since then, and both times, Felix had promptly hauled me back to his room to "teach me a lesson" for not listening to him. I thoroughly enjoyed both "lessons."

The cigarette was balanced between my lips as I expertly picked up the lighter, flicked the flame to life, and held it to the end of the small, white stick. I breathed in deeply, relishing the way the nicotine reminded me of Felix. Memories traveled to the forefront of my mind of him wrapping his mouth around his own cig and effortlessly inhaling. The images caused my pussy to clench painfully, and I squeezed my legs together tightly. I had spent most of the day in bed with Felix, but I still craved him. I was insatiable when it came to Felix Catton.

Well, speak of the Devil. I saw the doorknob turn before Felix's tall form appeared in the doorway. His eyes immediately honed in on the small object between my lips, and they darkened. "I thought you had finally learned your lesson last time. At least, that's what you promised me when you were on the brink of cumming with a red ass and tears falling from those pretty eyes."

I audibly swallowed as I pulled the cigarette from my mouth and exhaled, letting a puff of smoke spill from my lips. "I don't know what you're talking about," I innocently said before taking another drag.

It took Felix three strides to reach my side and pull the cigarette from my mouth. He harshly ground it in his ashtray before flipping me over onto my stomach. "I guess I won't be as nice this time since you're so intent on being disobedient."

I gazed at him over my shoulder as I felt my pussy flood with wetness. There was no way I was making it to any of my classes today.

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chapter index

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five

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