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fuctacles · 2 days

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@steddiesummerexchange for @chaosgremlinmunson | part 1/3 for easier reading on tumblr, but will be posted as a one-shot on Ao3 later | thanks @stevesjockstrap for beta-reading and mental support 💚

The shop was never busy. Aside from Valentine’s Day and Christmas, it was a lot of goofing around and packing online orders. And since it was pouring on a Tuesday afternoon, they expected no customers until closing, which was more than okay with them. They didn't choose it because it was popular. They chose it because their younger friends were too embarrassed to bother them here.

“It’s getting pretty bad,” Steve points out, squinting through the window. “I don’t wanna drive in this weather.”

Robin looks up just in time to catch a flash of lightning splitting the dark clouds outside.

“Maybe it will let up before we close.”

Thunder crackles above them, and Steve raises his eyebrow skeptically.

“We can wait it out in the pizzeria across the street,” she offers then.

“I like the way you think.”

There’s a loud bang as their doors slam open, letting inside some of the summer storm carnage. Despite the size of the shop, they can feel the cold rain on their faces, and for a second, the sound of the storm is deafening. It cuts off as suddenly as it started but is replaced by loud, displeased sounds of two figures drenched to the bone.

“Holy fucking shit!” a wet rat dripping on their floor curses loudly. He shakes his hands creating a small waterfall down the lapels of his leather jacket. The figure next to him drops down the hood of their jacket with a wet smack.

“Holy shitting fuck,” she agrees.

“They better be selling towels here.”

“Uh...” The unhooded figure, a short blonde, looks around curiously. “I’m afraid not.”

This prompts the guy to peel the wet hair away from his face and look properly around.

“Did we just walk into a fucking sex shop?”

“You did, yeah.”

The two turn to the desk when Steve speaks up.

Next to him, Robin flinches, and he senses something weird from her, like a brain equivalent of an exclamation mark. But he doesn’t think much of it, assuming it might simply be a reaction to the pretty girl in front of them.

“We have a radiator in the back, I could take your clothes to dry,” he offers the newcomers.

“No, we—”

“Are you seriously going back out in this weather?” The girl looks at her friend with raised eyebrows. He scoffs.

“No,” he admits petulantly.

“I can make you guys some hot tea. It’s not like anything is happening here anyway,” Robin pipes up.

“That would be great, thanks.” The blonde lights up gratefully, and Robin squirms.

Stave takes it upon himself to gather their wet things, afraid his friend might combust if she comes any closer to the girl. When he’s hanging the clothes, she is uncharacteristically quiet, so he turns to her and cocks his head.

“What’s up?”

She frowns at the mugs she's pulling out.

“Her.”

"Huh? She’s cute, isn’t she?" He grins.

“I think I could hear her,” Robin clarifies.

Steve straightens up immediately and walks towards his friend. She’s looking back up, worrying her bottom lip under her teeth.

“Do you think they are dating?” He motions to the front of the shop where they can hear the other two talk. She looks at the clothes scattered around the backroom. A denim vest, two black jackets, and a hoodie. Judging by the size and style, they all seemed to belong to one person.

“They could be like us,” he points out, but she doesn’t seem convinced. He isn’t either.

“Or she could not know.”

That would complicate things, wouldn’t it?

After exchanging a few heated looks they trail back to the front and Steve hands the teas to their intruders.

"Thank you." The girl smiles sweetly, though her gaze slides towards Robin.

Steve gives his friend a pointed look but she's too dazed to even flip him off.

"Thanks." The guy blows on his tea, keeping his gaze mostly on the window and the storm outside. "We'll take a look around and won't bother you guys," he says, giving his companion a pointed look before disappearing into one of the sections.

Steve knows it’s bad to stereotype but the assortment of strap-ons is not what guys like this usually go for, and his brain gets whiplash with the sudden onslaught of images he's not proud of. The tall guy wearing black and chains getting pegged by his tiny blonde girlfriend? It kind of suits him. He tries not to think about it.

They give them space to roam around the shop and whisper to each other while they finish their duties for the day and start closing up.

"Guys? We need to close in fifteen minutes!" Steve would feel bad for kicking them out into the storm, but the rain clouds have moved, turning the onslaught into a light drizzle.

It's only after they leave that Steve looks at the tattoo on the palm of his hand. Surprised at what he sees, he shakes it experimentally. The d20 lands back on the same number.

“Hey, look.” He holds it up for Robin to see. “I’ve never rolled a twenty before.”

Three days pass and Steve can't stand it anymore.

He slaps his hand on the counter, making Robin yelp.

“You’re thinking about her again!"

“I’m sorry!”

Steve shakes his head.

“No. Don't care, no sorries," he says with finality. “We’re finding her.”

"We go to the same school!" she protests. "I think. I mean, I'll run into her eventually!"

But Steve won't take that chance, tired of all the sighing from her brain, and decides to find the girl they've met. He figures the easiest place to find high schoolers is at the mall so that's where he goes.

With all the groups of friends and couples passing by, he feels even more like a loser than usual, being there all alone. But he's on a mission, so he won't let that deter him.

That is, until one of the faces he sees in the crowd gives him a pause. It takes him an embarrassingly long time to realize what's familiar about one of the three girls coming at him, but when the memory hits, he panics. Letting his flight response take over, he ducks into the nearest open door to avoid his ex.

After making sure the group has passed him without notice, he lets himself breathe. He's taking in the shop he stepped into, a record store full of tapes, vinyls, and band merch, when a voice startles his adrenaline levels back up.

"Well, well, well. How the tables have turned. Running from a gaggle of women, are we?"

Steve turns to find the metalhead who ran into his shop a few days ago, smirking at him.

"Just one." He shakes his head, instinctively looking back behind the glass door. "Really don't feel like running into my ex right now."

"Must be happening a lot, huh?" The man leans on the counter that separates them. "My friend told me you're quite the casanova."

Steve spots his opportunity and grabs it.

"The girl from the other day?" he asks.

"Yes?" The guy's eyes narrow.

“So you guys are friends?” he adds to clarify before he uncrosses his figurative fingers.

“Yes? Why else would we hang out?”

Steve feels his cheeks heat up under the man's suspicious stare.

“Well, you could be dating.”

The guy snorts.

“Yeah, I don't see the local freak bagging the head cheerleader. The fact that she can even stand me is enough.” Then his eyes narrow again. “Why? You interested in Chris?”

Chris.

“No? Well, kinda, but not… exactly.”

Steve has never felt less smooth in his whole life. And judging by the guy's expression, it shows. Whatever he was trying to sell, he wasn’t buying. His brain scrambles to salvage the situation and comes up with a painfully honest solution.

"Look, I just graduated and my friend group has fallen apart." He yells at his brain-to-mouth wires but keeps going anyway. "And you guys seem chill, I thought the four of us could hang out, or something?"

If the 'you suck' board still existed, he'd fill it out with tallies himself.

The man doesn't seem convinced and he opens his mouth to tear him to shreds probably, but then somebody yells from the back of the store:

"Eddie! A little help, please!"

And the guy, Eddie, gets reminded he's at work.

"Coming!" he yells back, and on his way there, throws Steve a quick string of, "Great seeing you again, we'll think about it, we know where to find you, bye!" before disappearing behind the back door.

After such a disastrous interaction, the last thing Steve wants to do is go back out into the mall full of people. But staying here to risk Eddie looking at him like that again was the more humiliating option. He turns around, planning to lick his wounds at home before reporting his findings back to Robin. For the hundredth time since finding her, he wishes they couldn't read each other minds. Because all he can think of is making a complete loser idiot of himself in front of a cool metalhead dude, and he knows she won't let him live it down. Maybe the Scoops board will make a comeback after this.

“Chrissyyyyyy!”

“Eddieeeeee!”

The rest of the cheer squad does perfectly synchronized eye rolls when their captain jumps down the human pyramid to greet her friend.

“Hi!” She smiles brightly. “You’re early. We’re not done yet.”

“I got some news.” He taps his fingers on the small partition between them, ignoring the cheer practice in progress. “Bad ones and good ones.”

“Bad first,” she says with a decisive nod.

Eddie opens his mouth but then frowns and closes it.

“It won’t make sense if you don’t hear the good news first.”

“Oh my god! Just spill it!”

“So, they’re almost surely not dating.”

“The sex shop guys?”

He nods.

“Okay, and the bad one?”

“Steve seems to be into you.”

“No!” she gasps, scandalized. Eddie snickers.

“Yeah. Sorry sweetie." His smile turns more apologetic.

Chrissy makes a face. Then she keeps making faces until Eddie can’t help but snort and slap her playfully.

“Stop! What are you thinking about?”

“I mean he’s kinda cute, but gives me repressed gay vibes.”

Eddie chokes but she keeps going.

“And his friend? His friend is just hot.”

“Ehh, I guess.” Eddie shakes his palm, making his friend roll her eyes.

“You’ll never understand the beauty of a woman in suspenders.”

“More women in suspenders for you then.” He grins, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Chris! You going back or what?” one of the cheerleaders behind them yells out, barely containing her annoyance.

“I’m coming!” Chrissy yells back. She turns to her best friend, her soulmate, with a dazzling smile. “You joining in?”

“You know they hate it when I do,” he points out.

“And you love it that they hate it.” She smirks like the evil little gremlin she secretly is.

“Fuck yeah, I do.” Eddie grins, climbing over the partition to join the cheerleading squad. A couple of girls groan, knowing what’s coming next but none of them dare to protest. If their captain’s soulmate wants to perform a perfect cheer routine, putting their months of practice to shame, there’s nothing they can do except blame the fates.

Eddie drops his leather jacket on the bleachers and does a couple of stretches in perfect sync with his friend. They grin at each other while mirroring each other’s movements without a word.

“If only you could read my mind during math exams like that,” Chrissy teases.

“Okay, shut up.” He rolls his eyes with fake annoyance. Yeah, it would be convenient, but he got a cheerleading routine memorized in his muscles instead. He’d be complaining if Chrissy wasn’t so fun to be around.

Despite his involuntary knowledge of the routine, none of the other girls fully trust him, so he usually ends up working mostly with Chris, tossing her in the air and catching her when needed.

“You should join us for the game,” she asks as always, after jumping down from his arms.

“I’ll think about it,” he answers as always, patting her head. She huffs, swatting his hand away and fixing up her ponytail, now loose from practice.

“Wanna go grab pizza?” she asks casually and he immediately goes into suspish mode. Chrissy rarely proposes eating out together. Don’t get him wrong, it’s great that his girlie is starting to eat better again, but… He doesn’t let his suspicion show when he asks:

“Sure. Any place in mind?”

She hums, but it’s a short hum. Very 'i-already-had-a-place-in-mind' like.

“The one with the Ninja Turtles poster?”

“You mean the one across the adult toys store?” He raises his eyebrows.

She blushes a fierce red and he knows it’s not because of the sex shop thing. He grins, wide and teasing.

“You wanna see that girl again.”

“Maybe,” she huffs defensively. “Okay, yes, so what?”

“So nothing.” He shrugs innocently. “Grab your things and we’ll go.”

“Yes!” she pumps her hands in victory, a dorky move Eddie’s proud to have taught her, and runs off to grab her backpack. She snatches his jacket before he can, overly eager to get moving. “Let’s go!”

He can’t help but laugh while trotting after her towards his van.

The inside of the store is brighter than they remembered, what with the sky being clear this time. It looks surprisingly normal until you take a better look at the contents of the boxes on display. A sex shop during daylight just lacks a certain ambiance.

The preppy-looking guy behind the counter doesn't match the vibe either.

At the sound of customers, the guy looks up.

"Hello! Oh, it's you guys." He visibly relaxes, realizing it's not his usual run-of-the-mill customers.

"It's us indeed." Eddie smiles, confidently strutting up to the counter. "Has anyone ever told you you look out of place here?"

Steve raises an eyebrow.

"Has anyone ever told you not to judge someone's sex life by their looks?"

Eddie raises his hands placatingly.

"Fair enough, man. I'll back off." However, the comment made him insanely curious about what a guy like that would be into. Behind him, Chrissy gently kicks him in the ankle, prompting him to take a look around. "Alone today?" he asks with a curious tilt of his head.

"Yeah, Robin is tutoring after school today. Why?" His eyes narrow.

"No reason, no reason."

Chrissy kicks him harder and he smiles through the pain.

“What is she tutoring in? I’m having trouble passing the last grade.”

It takes Steve a moment to answer, like he's measuring how much information he can give away.

“Foreign languages.”

The words are barely out of his mouth when Eddie snaps his fingers.

“Perfect! Can I get her number or something?”

The kick is so hard this time it jostles him forward and he glares back at his friend. It also attracts Steve’s attention to Chrissy.

He smiles at her, a bit unsure and shy. It rubs Eddie the wrong way and he can feel his hackles rise.

“Chris, right?”

“Chrissy,” she corrects, slightly scrunching her nose.

“Oh, sorry. It’s nice to see you again, Chrissy.” He smiles, more genuine this time.

“Uh, you too. Steve.”

Eddie clears his throat, hoping to come off as rude as possible.

Steve looks back at him and his expression shifts immediately. It’s almost a scoff.

“Listen, I don’t just give off my best friend’s number to random guys. But if you give me yours, I’ll pass it on.”

“Works for me,” Eddie says with the tightest approximation of a smile he can manage. “Do you have something I can write on?”

Steve looks around for the pen and notepad that are never in their designated spots and never together. He finds them under the keyboard.

“Here.”

But Eddie isn’t taking the items from him. Steve wiggles them like he would attract a pet or a child, but it doesn’t work. He’s about to make a snarky remark when the guy speaks up first.

“You have a D20 tattoo.”

“Huh?”

Steve is losing his mind.

But then he remembers that he does indeed have one and it’s partially visible when he’s holding out a pen like that.

“Ah, right.” He opens up his fingers and shakes his palm, causing the dice to roll. “It’s my soulmate mark.”

“Dude, that’s so dope.” Eddie’s eyes sparkle with marvel and Steve’s throat tightens. “You rolled a twenty, does that mean anything?”

Steve shrugs.

“I don’t know. One of my friends is a Dungeons and Dragons nerd and he told me it’s a luck thing? He freaked out pretty badly when I kept rolling ones on vacation, but nothing happened.” He smiles, fondly remembering Dustin’s panic.

Eddie hums.

“Man, having a functional D20 tattoo would be so fucking cool. I’m kinda jealous here.”

Steve snorts.

“Yeah, Dustin told me that too.”

Eddie finally takes the writing utensils from him, eyeing him contemplatively.

“I’m guessing you’re not a DnD nerd yourself? Considering you get your info from a friend?”

Steve chuckles.

"Yeah, no. Though I do get a lot of brain chatter from my soulmate."

"Brain chatter?" Eddie picks on curiously.

"Uh, yeah. I dream up whole campaigns and know lore I've never really studied. The kids go bonkers over it."

"Kids?"

Eddie's feeling both stupid and entranced by the guy.

"The DnD nerd? Dustin?" Steve says with annoyance that poorly covers up his fondness. "He comes with a full set of other nerds. A party, if you will. They just started high school and no, it's not weird that I know them. I used to babysit them and they just kind of..." He waved his hand. "Stuck on. Like parasites.

Eddie barks out a laugh.

"They sound delightful."

"They have their moments," Steve admits. Then they both stare at the number Eddie has scribbled on the piece of paper handed to him.

"So uh, see you around?"

"Yeah." Steve smiles. It's genuine and pleasant this time. But then, to Eddie's chagrin, he looks to the side. "You too Chrissy. Come over anytime. Maybe you need some tutoring too?"

"Uh, thanks, I'm good. Good luck finding a DnD nerd soulmate," she says, her tone weird. Eddie can't blame her. He wouldn't like being so blatantly hit on either. He could already feel her tugging on his jacket.

"Thank you," Steve says, smile turning a bit wistful. His eyes turn back to Eddie, away from his poor, sapphic-leaning soulmate. Good. He waves the note with the numbers. "I'll let her know you're interested but no promises. And hey, if you're into DnD too maybe you'd be interested in DMing for a bunch of freshmen?"

"I'll think about it," Eddie manages, slowly backing away, the force behind Chrissy's pull increasing. "Thanks, man. And, uh, good luck with the soulmate thing too!"

"Thanks."

The doors close in front of him and it feels like a curtain has just separated him from a whimsical spectacle.

"What the fuck was that?" Chrissy and Eddie ask each other in unison, albeit in vastly different tones.

"Huh?" Eddie frowns at his friend. She had already turned around and was pulling him towards the pizzeria across the street.

"Don't huh me! You forgot I was there!"

"I didn't!" He kind of did. For a teeny tiny second.

"You were clearly flirting with him."

"What? No, I wasn't!" he bristles. He'd know if he was flirting with someone.

She looks back at him sternly when they reach a table of her choosing. She plops down heavier than a tiny cheerleader should be able to and takes on a mocking, high voice.

"Oh man, I'm so jealous of your soulmate. Yes, I will play with your kids. Here's my number."

"I said no such thing," he hisses, sitting down across from her.

"Might as well." She shrugs. "You were interested in him."

"Well, he's an interesting person!" Eddie defends.

"Yeah, the preppy, vanilla high school heartthrob that is clearly not into the same stuff as you, other than his connection to his soulmate," she deadpans back. "Wouldn't have guessed."

"Shut up," he huffs, crossing his arms.

"Eddie, he asked you to hang out with his kids, himself," she points out.

"These are not his kids."

"You're so focused on the wrong details here. Do I have to wingman for you as well? Because I will. Just say the word."

Eddie closes his eyes and sighs. He knows his friend means well but it's just too much.

"Chrissy, stop. I don't need someone who has a soulmate with a matching, kick-ass D20 tattoo waiting for him somewhere. Probably a busty, nerdy girl, too—"

"Ew."

"Yeah, I know. He just seems interesting, and honestly? Expanding the party would be cool. So I might take him on the DMing thing I guess. But please, for the love of gods." He makes fierce eye contact with his friend. "No matchmaking. No wingmaning. Or wingwomaning. No setting Eddie up with a probably-heterosexual dude, who is probably into you."

A shudder goes down Chrissy's lithe body.

"Please don't remind me."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know," she sighs. "I'm really hoping I'm right about his friend." She drums her fingers on the table, biting her lip. "Maybe it's stupid but I feel like it would magically solve everything. He'd get over me, I'd get to bone his friend, and you'd get a new friend with a kick-ass nerd tattoo." She beams at him and he just can't help but laugh at his little ray of sunshine.

"I hope you're right too."

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doukeshi-kun · 1 day

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Dad Nikolai is definitely the type of dad to walk around shirtless all the time especially during the summer. Like he's the dad that while all the kids are outside playing, he's chilling, not a shirt in sight. Sun's out, tiddies out. Gimme his breasts pls 🙏

𝙙𝙖𝙙!𝙣𝙞𝙠𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙞 + 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨

replies ✥ oh hell yea tiddies outttt

contents ✥ fluff, suggestive , oc kids (yuri, mari, karol), fem!reader

Nikolai treats you like a queen.

His words and manners are enough proof that he sees you as one. You could not remember how many times have you felt so down about your appearance, especially after three pregnancies. But Nikolai would always be there, hands slithering on your body, tracing your curves and folds and fleshes and bones, with his lips uttering how beautiful you are.

And he is such a great father as well. He makes sure your children all tell you how beautiful and pretty and cute you are. Yuri is a good boy—he always says nice things to you. Mari wants to be as pretty as you—she said. And Karol... Well, he often compares you with his favourite Hot Wheels cars, so you take it as a compliment.

It's summer. The sun is bright outside. It is a little windy, it is such a nice weather to chill. You are standing right outside your house, monitoring Yuri and Mari who are gardening. They seem to be focused on choosing between succulents. Yuri has taken a new interest these days and you are more than happy to support him—and Nikolai is always eager to play with Yuri, despite the boy's annoyance.

“Dad, dad! Bell man gonna come! Just waaatch!”

“I don't understand you, Karol...”

You hear your husband's voice and you turn to the side, seeing Nikolai's pinky getting pulled by Karol who is excited about some 'bell man'. Nikolai notices you and mouthes 'Help me' with a pleading pout.

However, your eyes are wandering away.

You know Nikolai likes to be shirtless—and this man is a nudist after 2AM—but there is just something else about his look right now.

Shirtless, black shorts, hair in a bun. His chest is toned, with lines of his muscles. His shoulders are just as broad as you remember.

You do not know if it is hormones or you are just attracted by how good of a father he is, but he definitely stirs something in you. You find yourself to be staring hard at his physique—has he exercised or something? Why do his arms look so strong and firm? Why does his waist look so huggable? Are his muscles already looked that toned and visible?

“Pervert alert.”

You swallow nervously when you realize that he is standing beside you. A timidity creeps up, and it feels like you two are young again. Nikolai grins, leaning closer to you. You feel your cheeks heat up and you lightly shove him by his chest, although it does nothing to nudge an inch of him.

“Aww, you shy now?” He teases again, holding your wrist and keeping your hand close to his body. Your fingers are brushing against his bare skin—he is slightly sweaty and he feels warm. Nikolai smirks, pressing your hand so you would palm his chest. “Come on, don't be shy. We've been together for years, my love.”

You pout, pinching his chest lightly. Instead of wincing, Nikolai only laughs, enjoying your reaction. “You’re so fun to tease. Always the same face. Never get tired of it, you know?” He says as he gives your ass a light smack, which you do not mind as much—he is always touchy. But his hand is lingering on your rear for a little too long.

He gives your ass a good squeeze, causing you to squirm and hitting his chest lightly. “D-Don't do that here... The kids—”

“Kids, go inside right now!” Suddenly Nikolai shouts at them and they immediately turn to both of you. You click your tongue in annoyance, attempting to pinch his stomach, but God—his body is firm.

“Don't listen to your dad. He's being stupid again.” You reply, assuring your kids that Nikolai is just joking. Both Mari and Karol are clearly confused but Yuri has the nastiest look on his face, which makes Nikolai cracks a wheeze of laughter.

“Isn't he always stupid though?” Yuri says. Karol gasps, looking at his big brother in disbelief.

“He is?!”

“He is.”

“I don't think daddy is stupid! I think he's just... mmm... selective smart!” Mari says and Nikolai cheers. He gets to his little princess and carries her up.

“Oh, my little flower! You really are your daddy's defender! Mwah!” He kisses her cheek, making Mari giggle. You smile to yourself but your smile falters into a shriek of embarrassment when Nikolai suddenly turns to you, saying, “It's okay, love. I'll carry you like this too.” He winks.

“Stop it,” You huff but your mind is already wandering elsewhere when you are starting to imagine how nice it feels when he wraps his strong arms around you. Your face heats up and you gaze away, trying not to look at your husband's flirtatious smile any longer.

“Bell man!” Karol suddenly shouts excitedly and both you and Nikolai turn to the gate, seeing Karol waddling to see an ice cream bike passing just in front of the house. The man on the bike is ringing a bell—a gesture to attract attention.

“Karol, don't go to the road!” Nikolai barks sternly as he puts down Mari. Yuri is already on his way to hold back his little brother who is excited for some ice cream when the ice cream man parks his bike right outside your yard. Mari looks at both you and Nikolai before grinning and following his brothers, seeming to want an ice cream too.

“Well, guess I have to buy ice cream for everyone,” Nikolai mumbles to himself. “Look after them for a while, sweetheart. I'm gonna get my wallet.”

“And... get your shirt,” You playfully smacks his chest, squeezing it. “Don't wanna have those aunties gawk their eyes on my husband now, do we?”

“Possessive, I like that,” Nikolai smirks as he slaps your butt lightly. “This is all yours, honey. No one has a chance, alright?” You giggle as you shove him back lightly, urging him to get inside and get dressed. Nikolai still has that perverted grin on his face as he walks into the house.

You turn to your kids, expecting a wholesome scenery of your kids choosing ice cream for each other, but all you see is Karol standing on the bike with the ice cream man—not even Yuri or Mari is stopping him.

©doukeshi-kun 2024 — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, more @/cherikolya

if you like my works, consider buy me a ko-fi!

#道化師-jest❃ུ۪ #nikolai gogol x reader #bsd x reader #nikolai x reader #bsd imagines #bsd nikolai gogol #bsd fluff #nikolai fluff #nikolai imagines #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader

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penwieldingdreamer · 1 day

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Grandpa said Austin is a City

Thank you so much for all your likes and rebloggs. I have just recently found my way into the fandom and holy smokes I'm super happy about it. I hope I can do this justice and you'll like what I've come up with. This is the start of something, not a chapter story but I guess a one shot series featuring snippets from Austin's and the reader's life. I tried to keep the appearance and description of the reader as vauge as possible, so you guys will be able to come up with your own picture for the reader. Only thing that I picture while writing, it's a female reader, living in London with her british mother and american father, single mother of two girls Lottie (5) and Millie (3), and two years older than Austin. I wanted to explore that a bit.

Summary: Your daughter is curious about her father, knowing that you always had been the Three Musketeers but then you meet Austin in Hyde Park after your daughter has a run in with the ground. You know, you don't want a relationship, but friendship is a nice start as well. Words: 3k Warnings: fluff, some sware words, maybe a few tippos - if so, please let me know

Now with no further ado - enjoy. And please let me know what you think.

Feb. 2022

“Mummy?” Lottie, your four, nearly five year old called from the living area where she had been watching her favorite cartoons. You saw her gaze fixed on the TV, a family of four embracing as they finally found each other again. “Do we have a daddy, too?”

Taking a deep breath, you put the pan down you had just been cleaning. Moving to sit down next to her you were glad Millie was still down for her nap. “Of course, baby, but sometimes Mummies and daddies don’t work out, so there aren’t always two parents.”

“Do you want a daddy to help out so you're not alone anymore?”

Swallowing against the tight feeling in your throat, you pulled your daughter against your side. “What gave you that impression? I thought us girls were the Three Musketeers. Did someone say something at school?”

Lottie shook her head, her blonde curls swinging about her head like ringlets of spun gold. “Nope, but granny said we're a lot to handle on your own and that she'd love to see you have a man in your life again.”

Rolling your eyes, you brushed your hand through her hair. Of course your mother would love nothing more than the idea of a man in your life and the prospect of another grandchild. She loved your girls to death but sometimes she didn't know when to shut up. “Your granny doesn't know what she's saying. Sometimes she's just acting silly.”

“Well, I'd like a daddy someday. Lucy from school said she has two daddies. One is her real daddy and the other one is married to her mummy, but he's not her bi-bigolicl daddy.”

“Biological, honey, and well, sometimes that's how families work.”

Nodding her little head, she turned back to the cartoons and you were left with the aftermath of that conversation. Your ex had left you when Millie was a few months old and since then you were a single mother with two jobs.

Of course you’d want nothing more than a man in your life again, but most often the biggest problem was that they didn’t like you having kids so they didn’t want to be bothered with your plus twos, sometimes the guys were too young for you and other times men were just idiots.

With a sigh you decided to wait for Millie to wake up and take the girls outside. A stroll in the park might do them good and maybe you could have a talk with your own mother to keep these topics for herself.

“What's going on, darling?” Your mum asked, pushing Millies's stroller as you made your way through Hyde Park. The weather had been a bit better now in February, but still cold enough to freeze hands and noses off. You hated it, yet the summer heat of Texas was worse, so you were glad for the little miracles in life. Bundled up, you guys decided that after you'd have a nice cuppa near the Italian Gardens. Your mother loved their pastries.

“Why did you tell Lottie I needed a man?” Your eldest was running a few feet in front of you, the wool bauble on her hat wobbling with every step she took. “We were doing okay until now. She asked about her dad and you know I don't want to talk about him.”

She breathed out a sigh, grabbing your hand. “I'm sorry, darling. You know I didn't mean anything by it, it was just me being silly again.”

“Granny silly.” Millie squealed, throwing her little legs about with a laugh, clapping her hands in delight, though muffled by the gloves she wore.

“Yes, granny is silly, just wants your mummy to be happy again.” your mother said, juggling the stroller slightly to make her squeal some more.

You knew she was just trying to look out for you. “I'm an adult, mum, I can handle the girls and my job. I don't”

“MUMMY!”

Your blood froze, your head whipping around so fast you heard the bones in your neck crack. Lottie's cry sounded muffled in your ears, but your body moved on autopilot.

Your girl was up in the arms of a strange man, crying her eyes out and calling for you.

“Let go of my daughter!” Your call startled the man and he turned towards you. “I'm warning you, I'll be calling the police.”

With a look back towards your mother, you already knew she was just about to do that. Strangers were picking up kids left and right and you would not be the parent that had to file a missing person report for her five year old who was snatched Right from under your nose.

“Woah, jeeze.” He called, his voice sending shivers down your spine before your glare turned on him again, watching as he set Lottie down, putting his hands up in surrender. “I'm sorry, really, there's no need. I saw her fall and tried to calm her down when she cried.”

You pulled your daughter into your arms, hugging her tight and trying to calm her down, your eyes never leaving his face - although you had to admit, this guy had a nice one.

Deep blue eyes, angled jaw, dark gold stubble…

No, nope. Don't go there.

“You okay, baby?”

“I-I fell. And it hurt really bad and then-then Aus helped me up. But it h-hurts so bad and I just wanted you.” Her hiccups and tears made her body jump in your arms.

“Who's Aus, Lottie?”

Rubbing the tears from her eyes with a tiny fist, you wouldn't have been surprised if she gave you one of her famous eye-rolls before an exasperated sigh left her little mouth. “Him.”

You followed her pointed finger and looked into the face of the guy - well, probably man, but yeah - you yelled at only a few moments before. He held up his hand in a two lingered wave with a sheepish smile adorning his full lips.

“He said his name is Austin, but I told him that's a city in Texas. It's where grandpa’s from. So he said I could call him Aus.” She shrugged her shoulders.

Your lips pressed into a tight line, and yet ready to chew him out when your mother stopped behind you. “Oh darling, that was really nice of you. She's a bit of a know-it-all, thanks to her grandpa, isn't that right Charlotte?”

“Mum, really?” You shot a disapproving look at her, knowing well that it would only encourage your children more when your parents were giving them ammunition to be sassy.

“Grandpa said it's good to have a v-va-, ugh, know-it-all.”

The man chuckled and ran his fingers through his dark blonde locks and somehow that made your insides tingle. “It's alright ma'am, I saw her fall and just didn't know if her parents were around. Maybe I could invite”

“Nah, thank you.” You didn't let him finish because you knew how this was going to end. But your life wasn't a Hallmark movie and your mother wasn't allowed to swoon over him like you knew she would. “I'm really glad you were there to catch my daughter and help her out. But we got to go now and you're probably busy anyway.”

“Baby, hey, look what I found.” A soft feminine voice called from behind you and you raised your eyes at him like you had just stated a fact. The young woman flashed him a smile and slung her arms around his waist, fingers gripping the long black peacoat slightly. “Oh, hi. I didn't know you were talking with fans, baby.”

She was either a model or an actress. All gorgeous, tall, young, with luscious hair while you had stuck with your mom style, knowing there wasn't always enough time to look super gorgeous.

Yep, definitely model.

“We are not, well, my daughter fell and your, uh,” you stopped short, not sure how to address him, if they were married or only in the boyfriend-girlfriend stage, so you played it safe like so many people before when you were still dating your ex. “Partner”

Yep, sounds super awkward but what the hell?

“rescued my daughter, she fell and we weren't fast enough.”

“Oh, I hope she's okay?” Concern laced her voice as she smiled at Lottie. Well, your first impression of her seemed to not be true, at least she wasn't stuck up like some others in the industry. “Maybe you guys can join us for a coffee?”

“Ah, n”

“I tried already, she said No.” Austin, as you knee him now shrugged, putting his arms around his girlfriend's shoulder.

Your mother sent you a disapproving look, brushing Millies's blonde curls back under her head. “It was nice of you to consider us, but the little ones need to get back home and we need to take a look at Lottie's knees. Maybe we'll see each other again and can get that cuppa as a thank you then.”

Oh how you loved her, your mother the diplomat. You knew exactly why she sometimes took the reins from you. You were brash and hot headed when you needed out of a situation and this was exactly one of those occasions. It wasn't that you wanted to be rude to him, not at all. He seemed like a super nice guy, but the last super nice guy that made your insides flutter ended up sleeping with his secretary and leaving you with your two wonderful children. So, you steered clear of them and wouldn't encourage any further confrontation, no matter how nice all these would be.

“Hm, yeah, I got to take a look at the knees, but thank you, usually people around here are a pit occupied with themselves.” Leaving no room for further discussion, you motioned your mother to move along and with a last wave at the couple made your way back out of the park.

Your mother tried to keep pace with you, moving the stroller with a sleeping Millie. She watched you carrying Lottie in your arm, her head leaned on your shoulder and your teeth worrying your lips. “You could have taken his offer, you know, acting a bit nicer. It's not like you'd have ended up in a relationship.”

“Mum, please. This is embarrassing enough for me. He’s there with his girlfriend, I don’t think she would have liked having coffee with another woman and her children.”

“No, probably not. But she offered and it wouldn’t have ended in another disaster like you are trying to paint right now.”

With a sigh you brushed your hand over your daughter’s back and watched your youngest sleeping in her stroller. You knew it wasn’t about the coffee offer or even about Austin. It was your own fear. The fear of taking a leap and getting hurt, your angels getting hurt in the end and you tried to keep any potential human away from them and yourself. “I, I just don’t want to spiral into this thing where I think I might have a chance one day and then get hurt again. I’d”

“You’d rather snuff out any kind of butterflies you might get, right?”

Your children were your priority and there was no way in hell that you would let them get hurt by a romance that probably had no future.

May 2022

“You're such a wanker, Trevor! You're supposed to pay child support, it's been four months and I still haven't gotten anything besides your dumb apologies. If you don't have the money, I'll have my lawyer get your ass into gear.”

You were fuming, your insides boiling from all the pent up anger and you felt bad for all the people around you witnessing the volcano inside your body erupt when your ex called you - again - to let you know that he was still lagging in the finance department and you'd get the money later than expected.

Turning to the lady at the counter, you sent her an apologetic look, hoping the other patrons in the cafe would be sympathetic to your display right there. “I'm really sorry about that, I didn't want everyone to have to hear it but, well, yeah.”

“Oh, I get it. My ex husband was the same before I sued him. Now he's as easy as a little lamb.” She chuckled, passing the to-go cup of coffee you ordered with a broad smile. “Hang in there, it's going to get better.”

Let's hope that somehow today is going to get better.

Giving her a tight lipped smile, you turned around to leave only to run smack into a broad body.

Oh no.

“Shit.”

“Fuck.”

Taking a deep breath, you turned your head up looking into those blue eyes you’d last seen a few months ago. Of course it had to be him, what were the odds.

Just that morning your mother had told you about the movie and that she recognized Lottie's Austin in the trailer. Now here you were, staring at each other in the Parcafé, part of the Dorchester Hotel. Your best guess was, that he was there on business and staying at the hotel but he was the last person you'd thought you'd run into.

Biting your lip you saw your much needed cup of coffee having spilled all over his shirt - that probably cost more than your rent - and running down his arms. “I, oh my, I’m so sorry.” Grabbing the napkins from the tray beside you, you started patting down his top half.

What a nice one it was.

Nope! Don’t go there, you’re in enough trouble already.

“Hey,” Austin’s hand stopped yours. “It’s okay, I’ll just get it cleaned. You alright?”

Blinking your hand froze mid wipe. “I-I, I spilled my coffee on you, not the other way around.”

He shook his head, his dark blonde locks moving lightly into his face. It felt like an eternity until you were able to look away. Grabbing your hand, he pulled you to the side letting other guests pass you after they complained about you blocking the entrance. “Hey, it’s fine but maybe now I can call you something else besides ‘Lottie’s mom’ when I talk to you.”

Fuck, why is he so nice? I can't get attached, damn it.

Pressing your lips together, you debated in just ignoring it but you remembered what your mother said before. Just because you're nice doesn't mean you'll end up in a relationship.

“I can call you sweetheart or darlin’ if you prefer that to me actually using your name.” His voice was low, soft and rumbled through your body as he spoke, making your skin prickle.

No wonder his girlfriend was so smitten with him.

You took a deep breath, lips parting and your body on autopilot leaned closer to him, ready to either answer him or kiss him, you weren't sure yet what you really were going to do.

“Yo, Austin! You ready to head out?”

“Damn it.” He turned, nodding at his friend before he gave you another smile of his, his blue eyes glinting. “Listen, tonight’s the premiere of Elvis, come with your girls and bring your parents. I’d love to talk some more.”

“Austin.” You choked, eyes widening at his words. “I don’t, is that even possible? You don’t need to do that.”

Smiling, he grabbed your hand. “No I don’t need to, but I want to. It’s going to be fun, I promise.”

Before you could respond, he already gave you his phone, asking you to put in your name. Thanking you with a kiss on your cheek and a promise to send you all the info you need, he walked out with the other man and left you standing in the café, the woman behind the counter giving you a shy smile. “Oh darling, you know, if a guy was looking that good and asking me to come to a party, I’d not hesitate and get dolled up for him.”

Sending her a tight lipped smile, you just nodded and left the café. Your mother was going to have a field day with that. And you guessed the girls would enjoy the music with your dad always playing Elvis for them whenever he could.

“Mummy, look! There’s Austin!” Lottie yelled, jumping happily when she saw the actor.

You had to admit, he looked amazing in the white suit jacket, undershirt and slacks he wore, smiling brightly as he entered the BFI Southbank with Tom Hanks and the director of the movie. Looking up, he spotted you standing off to the side. He excused himself and made his way through the throng of people and stopped right in front of your girls, crouching down to be eye level with them and holding his hands out for Lottie and Millie to take.

Gosh, is there anything he's not perfect at?

“Wow, look at you beauties. Your mom already said you were super excited to come.”

“Uhuh, grandpa always listens to Elvis and we usually watch Lilo and Stitch on the weekends so we can sing with him.”

You shook your head slightly with a smile on your face. They were so excited to be there and see the movie ever since your mother showed them the trailer to Elvis. “Austin?” He looked up at you, watching as your fingers knotted and relaxed with anxiety. Humming, the actor got up and grabbed your hand. It was nothing romantic, even though the look on his face could have easily been mistaken for something like that. “Thank you for inviting us. My father is super excited and the girls already love it so much from just seeing those posters.”

“I’m glad you came. You know I feared I scared you off today.”

“Well, I never thought I’d run into you again, but here we are. Seems to be some kind of fate.”

He smirked, putting his arm around your shoulder and moving the girls and you to meet the rest of the cast. You had to admit that you were glad to run into Austin, even though you always tried to tell everyone otherwise. He was a great guy, down to earth and super sweet. Somebody that was going to be a great friend for a long while.

Divider @cafekitsune

Tagging @fortheloveoffanfic

#austin butler x reader #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler imagine #austin butler #austin butler fluff #austin butler fanfic #rpf #reader insert #fanfic #imagine

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nallhir · 1 year

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cold weather

#sxf #twiyor #spyxfamily #forger family #anya forger #loid forger #yor forger #bond #im not made for this cold weather omg #but i like this weather much more than summer #sorry but summer in my country feels like being burned alive

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yrlocalghost · 3 months

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hello. just what is it about the state of being actually half asleep, laying there with eyes closed, that causes one to remember some of the most horrifying shit

#to clarify- i am fine i feel fine but a lot of this is like. hello???? hello??????? that happened????#i think it is the weather. this happens every spring and i have been saying i am something of a spring hater for a while #spring is nice in theory. i like the flowers and bugs and while i much prefer cold the amount of warmth is much better than the glaring #summer sun. however. spring is also very loaded #i am glad that i regained my undertale brainrot as well as hollow knight brainrot this year because last year i was not #nearly as hyperfixated on anything and it was Rough just thinking about everything #whereas right now it is really just more moderately annoying

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skhardwarevers1 · 4 months

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I can’t wait for the weather to get warmer,,

#Random I know but spring and summer (esp summer) are much more home to me #Something about it just hits different yknow?#Like yeah don’t get me wrong I love fall and winter but they’re such cold and lonely months to me #I like the summer when I can just go outside and feel warm…it’s a nice feeling #And I can’t wait to travel again…to have at least one night where my sister is inside and my parents are out for a little #And I get to do my traditional sit on the balcony and admire the beauty of it all routine #Where I can’t go back inside for a good while because my face is stained with tears #And any time I say something to myself my voice cracks and I can’t help but laugh at how cheesy I am #But it’s truly amazing to know I can look forward to that #And I’ll always take pictures and they’ll be better than the ones I took last year but they’ll never fully capture how it felt to me #It’s a kind of intimacy that only exists for a brief moment on summer nights between me and my surroundings #With one AirPod in playing Mrs magic of resonance #And for a moment I’ll take it out and I’ll probably cry some more because the silence is even better #So yeah. I can’t wait for the weather to get warmer #S.K thinks #Live laugh luv ranting in the tags

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majorshatterandhare · 8 months

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You know, if I had a nickel for everytime a podcast has resulted in my music taste expanding, I would have three nickels; which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened three separate times.

#in order thats #welcome to night vale -> ya know whatever they play for the weather. but particularly parables and primes by danny schmidt #i have a playlist on youtube that is this too shall pass. stained glass. and dark eyed prince by him + the table song by katie kuffel and-#the ends and the means by robby hecht. they all have the same vibes #then i think next was #old gods of appalachia -> those poor bastards #then i let myself get into the mechs. coming from tma. which makes sense because they are far more separate than the other examples #like i started listening to tma in april of 2020. then ogoa in the late summer or fall. and i think i pretty quickly went to listen to i-#cannot escape the darkness and then moved to satan is watching. which is really basically the whole extent of my knowledge of those poor-#bastards. but then i started listening to the mechs in december of 2020.#you have no idea how much it disappoints me being almost a year late #oh also the ends and the means by robby hecht is the only reason i have the slightest understanding of ejm and mje #i started listening to wtnv in… 2015? for comparison #i listened very primarily to podcasts and nerd music through high school though

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actuallylorelaigilmore · 1 year

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i feel like life right now is me trying to juggle approximately 127 different things, and none of them are life-or-death but they’re all equally important to me, so those 127 things are like simultaneous balls in the air that i am holding up while the adderall shortage makes it harder to remember what they are let alone keep from dropping them, and at this point even my to-do lists have lists which got so out of control that i stopped even keeping lists but also i’m so tired every day that i’m lucky if i get a single thing done and if i don’t set alarms then i depression-sleep for fourteen hours because oh yeah my adderall was also the only thing that helped my bipolar meds work all the way so i’m crying and thinking about everything that makes me sad 24/7 while i try to keep juggling

#...so if i owe you a reply that would be why #also i need to review the enola holmes sequel and write a huge disenchanted rant (watched that one last night)#but i don't know when i'll have the energy #today at least i did get some things done--returned stuff to a store and got my flu shot and covid booster #...i was actually out to return things and get my adderall but at least those vaccinations were also on my general to-do list #it's just a lot less stuff than i NEED to be doing #and so much of it comes down to the fact that i sleep a lot i wake up i feel so tired it's like i didn't sleep #and then i just spend the whole day waiting to go back to bed #and under those conditions it's really hard to accomplish anything else #but i genuinely can't tell how much of my exhaustion is depression-based #and how much is physical because i've felt under the weather and had weird symptoms in one way or another since the summer #and at this point it's like...my doctor brushed me off when i tried to get help in the summer so i waited like she advised #for things to improve on their own #and they haven't but i'm so tired physically and emotionally and psychologically that i can't say i have any more self-advocacy fight in me #like it's obviously bad that the alternative is me continuing to feel like i'm maybe slowly wasting away and just letting it happen #but depression makes it pretty hard to care #randomness #mental health #depression #bipolar disorder #adhd #life stuff #health #/tag abuse

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

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Daily Log 9

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Worked on the previously mentioned tapestry style painting thing for like 5-6 hours today (with a few breaks in between), and that's just for the border around the main picture lol.. I think all the little sections and detail always take longer than I think they might. But hopefully the final product will look interesting! :0

I feel like I'm entering another Sick Phase where I just am weird/ill/sleepy/having joint pains much of the day (probably some vitamin deficiencies or hormone imbalances or general bodily inflammation or whatever nonsense seems to randomly pop up from time to time lol), so couldn't focus on anything more intensive like writing or editing videos, unfortunately. It's good to have smaller crafts I can do that don't take much mental effort and are just menial hand tasks (like carving, painting, sculpting, etc.), but I still always feel frustrated falling behind on the things I see as much more broadly significant to my overall life and potential career (making games, writing, finishing videos, socializing, costumes, etc.)

Organized my desk a little. Responded to some doctor emails. Paid bills.

Planned out something I might make with pressed flowers tomorrow.

Edited like 4 costume photos.

Also have a lingering sense of dread due to the weather. The heat often makes me feel terrible, and if I'm already in kind of a Bad Phase at the moment, I'm afraid of it making it even worse... stimky..

Which I know these temperatures are nothing to some people but.. to me... aUGHHHH... I am abnormally heat sensitive + live in a dinky old apartment with no ventilation that gets direct sun the hottest part of the day.. on a 90F day outside, it literally gets about 84F inside.. like.. even people who love the heat I feel like would struggle to sleep at night if their bed is 85F lol... hewwo.. You can spray yourself down with water, drink ice water, put a fan on yourself, etc. etc. but.. sometimes it just feels so oppressive and inescapable..

ANYWAY. Aside from painting, feeling weird, and dreading the upcoming heat/contemplating my entire life and how to get enough money to move to a different climate somehow one day/existential exhaustion/etc., I didn't accomplish very much lol

Spent maybe 30 minutes thinking about a little more worldbuilding stuff, and some things in reference to the game I mentioned resuming work on at some point.

Notable sights: The clouds were really pretty and pastel this afternoon, and some stars are visible in the sky for once since the nights are beginning to be clearer. The 'forget me not' flowers that I thought had died after transplanting actually seemed to be perked up and healthy looking today, and perhaps may actually survive. >:3

Goals moving forward: Do new poll adventure post. focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with the ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Not much, kind of a warm day so didn't really want to use the oven. No idea how I'll handle the diet I've been put on by my doctors (involves usually cooking all food fresh, using the stove a lot, nothing is supposed to be canned or processed or premade, so that eliminates a lot of 'quick easy simple warm weather' meals, etc. etc.) during the heatwave. I might just have to break the diet a little and hope it doesn't give me stomach pains while I'm already hot and feeling sick lol..

I did have a boiled egg with some green onions on top, which is very simple but was refreshing somehow lol. Another ice cold ginger ale treat today, and some cold prune juice (which I know most people find gross/it's an old person food/etc., but I like that it's a smooth textured and not very sweet juice? Like it's slightly thicker than apple juice, has a lightly bitter taste, etc. I just find it nice for some reason. More evidence I am secretly an 85 year old wizard)

#why can't it be global cooling instead of global warming.. what if everything was just ice and I was comfortable and happy all year around #heat also sometimes gives me like a.. mild situational claustrophobia (like not a place that you are confined in/can't escape #but more an environmental factor that's all consuming. Like when there's fires and smoke fills the sky for days and it's like no matter #where you are you could never get away from it unless you're locked inside shut off from the entire world. if you need a breath #of fresh air or are feeling too confined you no longer have the option of going outside. it's all toxic. etc.)#Or like part of why I hate long car rides is for that reason. If I'm 3 hours away from home there is no way for me to get home #other than to ride 3 hours back. If I suddenly decided I really would rather be home I could not get home quickly. the 3 hours #to get home is an inescapable barrier. No matter how sick I started feeling or how bad things are and how much I wish I was comfortable #and safe at home - the only way to get there is to get there. you knowwhat I mean lol? I can't just be home in 20 minutes #it's a 3 hour ride or nothing. etc. etc. Like if you're on a ship in the middle of the ocean and suddenly just desperately decided you need #to be back on land. there isn't anything you can do. nothing will get you back on land but to stay on the ship and travel the hours it take #to get there. there's no quick exit. No way out that isn't doing the thing you already really don't want to be doing anymore (being in a ca #r or being in a ocean or etc. No alternative route but to just suffer the situation longer). idk.. if that makes sense??#so with the heat sometimes it's like.. it's hot INSIDE and it's hot OUTSIDE and it's hot everywhere you go theres no escape #from it and nothing you can do but just.. be hot. no matter how desperate you are to just BE COLD even for a few minutes #you simply don't have the option. The only way to get cool again is to just wait out the hot weather. You can yearn for the feeling of a #cool breeze all you want but abdolutely nothing will get you colder than just to be miserable in place and wait for the passage of time.#I always get that feeling in the summer like after five 90+F degree days in a row you're like AAAAAAAAAA #JUST AN ESCAPE JUST A QUICK ESCAPE DEAR LORD ' and then 5 minutes later like 'hee he. no its fine. haha. im actually so okay #with my situation i am coping.' short bursts of heat induced frantic anxiety with some resigned calm in between ghjgj #ANYWAY. yes every year I complain about the same thing. I am a hater and a complainer first and foremost ggh.. I love to be honest and #express my thoughts and opinions. I think way too many people are so reserved and repress everything for the sake of like social etiquitte #or personal insecurity (like owrrying they're being annoying or talking too much or that novody cares what they say etc.)#and then that ends up causing passive agression and communication issues and resentments that boil under the surface for years because they #re never adequately expressed. I don't think complaining is an inherently negative thing and it's weird to me that people react so #like it's some sort of moral thing to be against it. Like of course within reason. don't complain to the point that you appreciate #none of the good things around you or like where you start bullying people or something. but broadly speaking. being able to express your #concerns and thoughts in small bursts easily and openly and release some of that tension is better than just holding onto it all and having #it come out larger later or making you internally miserable or etc.. ANYWAY.. yeaghh.. hate heat.. hopefully done with painting soon.etc.#daily log

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