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foxgloveinspace · 9 months

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Foxglove Lore, definitive edition:

Note: I use he/him pronouns for Sleep. If you don’t that cool, but the only time Vessel as every spoken about Sleep he used he/him for Sleep.

My main sleep token lore/thoughts is this:

‘My Lore’ is that it’s a conversation between Sleep and Vessel, the songs can switch pov, some songs are sleep songs, some songs are Vessel songs, some are both.

Vessel has powers. (Option one he is human born with them, option two is that he is a fallen god.)

(If we are going with the first, Vessel is just dealing with abandonment issues, from people all around him because of these powers. They see him as different, off putting, and they avoid him. If we are going with the second, then it’s all of that + being a god and remembering slowly as he grows older ‘hey I was a god and I fell?? And I’m remembering this??’ But then also what did Vessel fall for? Why do the other gods cast him aside? A human? Another god? I’m think atm it was a worshiper that he got too close with. Her death causing him to fall. (I also think that this, this ‘the other gods casting him aside’ thing can be symbolic of how it feels to go through a depressive episode or even just being neurodivergent, and how it feels like other people who care about you can ‘cast you aside’ by not listening or understanding what your feeling.) The gods are all busy, and his ‘god-mother’ (maybe someone who created him? A god who granted him god-hood the first time?) has turned her gaze because she can’t bear the sight of him human (again?). And so Sleep, an old as fuck, ‘small’ god steps up. A very ‘us against them’ moment.)

Sleep wants Vessel (at first) just for his powers, and he promises Vessel control over them (or a way back to god-hood) in exchange for his worship and being his Vessel. Vessel, desperate for control, agrees, and at first it seems like Sleep is keeping up with him, helping with these powers (or helping him find paths to god-hood).

Love in the songs = Control. Over Vessels powers, or over how he gets to Heaven to be with the other gods. But just. Control in some ways. And honestly, love can be very controlling, so maybe it does Also Mean Love.

Some Vessel songs are about Sleep, and some are about the ?follower? Who he fell for.

One of Sleep’s blessings is the ability to communicate with this person while Vessel is asleep. She doesn’t remember her past life, and so it’s only when Vessel is asleep can she remember with him/he is with the ‘old’ her. I think he did find her, and she’s different. (Idea has been floating around because of @/bluesey-182, and I have agreed with it for a looooong. But credit where it’s due!! (If you see this and want me to actually tag you just let me know!)).

One is all from Vessel’s pov. It’s the beginning, it’s right as Sleep finds him, and he’s completely lost, and thankful for Sleep’s intervention, but unsure of how things should go. He is bending over backwards for Sleep, and separates himself into two, awake he is Vessel, and asleep he is a god. In both he is letting go of everything to be loved. Awake he is waiting for Something to give, asleep he is in denial of it.

The two songs of Two are from Vessel’s pov. I think Nazareth is a Sleep song, and I think it’s the first one.

Jaws is from both POV. It’s an argument, it’s Sleep wanting Vessel to be his chosen one, and Vessel fighting it.

Sundowning is about Vessel’s realization that even tho Sleep is sort of keeping up his end of things, he’s not doing it in a productive way. It’s him realizing that Sleep likes Vessel as he is. (Sleep Songs: Dark Signs, Take Aim, parts of Give, Drag Me Under, parts of Blood Sport) it’s also Sleep realizing that while he does like Vessel as he is, he’s actually falling for Vessel. But by the time he realizes he need to hold up his end of the bargain, it’s too late.

TPWBYT is Vessel waking up after having attempted to take his own life, realizing that Sleep isn’t going to help him the way he wants, and now Sleep won’t let him die. It’s also Sleep trying to convince Vessel he really is on his side now, and trying to convince him to be his Vessel after the attempt. (Sleep songs: Mine, Fall For Me, Distractions, but he is present in Most Songs on this album.) I also think something that happens in this album is that Sleep shows Vessel the reincarnation of the person he fell for, who is now doing fine and happy. It’s a Moment for Vessel, to realize that his falling was more hurtful then good.

TMBTE is Vessel becoming a god again. Or, being put on the correct path to becoming a god again (or, being out on the path to control his powers). It’s letting go of the hurt that caused him to fall, and him realizing that god-hood (control) (healing) is more important than holding onto the hurt/abandonment/falling. He has Sleep in a better grasp, he knows where he needs to go, and there’s ups and downs on the journey. (Sleep Songs: there isn’t actually a lot of Sleep present in this album. I think it’s Vessel doing what he needs to do, worshipping and letting go. It’s why this album feels so different from the others. Sleep is present but only as a feeling, not as someone speaking. The only time he is really there is AYRO? And DYWTYLM. And even then it feels more like Vessel sharing from Sleep’s perspective then it Being From Sleep).

I think the main difference from this version, and my original theory is that in the og one, I thought Sleep was bad. I though

#very much so #sleep token #oh hey. I did it??#Dakota Foxglove. did you have thoughts again?? yes yes I did.#idk what I’m doing #this is it tho this is what I think tbh👍🏻#o said earlier that I couldn’t put my thoughts to post I could only do it in other peoples tags but this is pretty coherent I think??#also also I think it’s all symbolism for being depressed and neurodivergent and Sleep represents a healthy coping mechanism while the girl #is a person in his life who died who was a Bad Coping Mechanism #idk if Sleep is a person or just a muse but yeah.

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babysfirstpentagram · 2 years

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Complation of Witch Tips (#2)

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾ 1. Please.. please for the love of any god out there, learn about nature. Buy a book on editable plants, local fungi, animal guides, anything like that. Read it, learn it, absorb the information. If you want to be a green witch, a cottage witch, or any other witch that spends long hours outside, hiking, anything, please learn about your local flora and fauna. It’s fun, its helpful, and hey! you might even learn that something right in your front yard is okay to eat. (side note: please don't just eat plants straight off the ground. take them home and wash them. This removes pesticides, bugs, and just general grossness. And NEVER take more than you need. Thank the earth)

2. Do you like collecting jars? Good, time to put them to use. If you paint a jar that you’ve saved, you can hide herbs, small crystals, and sigils in them. It’s easy, no one will notice it. Just make sure you wash the jars out like twice before you use them. I once had a jar I only washed once and it still smells like pickles. Gross.

3. this one if very very important: IF YOU WANT TO WORK WITH A FAMILIAR, IT WILL COME TO YOU. Do NOT make your pet your familiar. It hurts them, it hurts you, it hurts everyone involved. Just don’t do it. 4. Literally anything can be cleansed and charged with energy. If you can’t afford that really pretty rose quartz you saw in the metaphysical shop, just go outside and pick up a rock. If you're feeling extra spicy, you can paint it pink to help. Boom, you now have a self love rock, you gorgeous goblin.

5. You heard about a cool spell from a tiktoker? Awesome! Don’t do it. Tiktok, Tumblr, Reddit, Animo, all of these sites are extremely unreliable. My personal rule is that if you see the exact same information listed in at least four or five different places by different people, its probably true. Always look on your free pdf apps to find witch books and then cross check facts.

6. Not everything is a sign. Things happen, its not the universe trying to get ahold of you. HOWEVER if it happens like more then three times, I would start taking note of it.

7. You do not need to know how to do tarot, astral project, none of it. The only things you should “need to know” is grounding, cleansing, banishing/warding, and basic protection. Everything else is just DLC my dudes.

8. You can’t remember your herbs? Crystals? Tarot cards? Its fine, neither can I. It’s okay to download apps to help you, or buy lots of journals to messily scribble notes into. It’s not a crime to need help, loves. It’s okay.

9. If you have pets, please make sure any plants or foods you're bringing into the house is okay for your pets to be around. Lilies are very harmful to cats. Just be safe with your furry or scaly friends. Don’t let them into your room if you're using heavily scented candles or incense. Don’t let them near fire, don’t leave your supplies unattended with them around.

10. You don’t need anything to be a witch, but its always nice to have selenite, anything white or black, rosemary, and salt on you for protection and basic spell work. 11. For all my neurodivergent witches: PLEASE BRING YOUR HYPERFIXATIONS, COMFORT CHARACTERS, AND SPECIAL INTERESTS INTO YOUR CRAFT!! You can study popculture witchcraft and literally work with your characters. This can go for anything. And if anyone wants to give you shit for doing it, you can sent them to me.

12. Last one for right now: You, yourself, are enough. You have water in your body, your feet on the ground, you feel the wind in your hair and the fiery passion in your heart. You ARE the elements. Your spirit is amazing and so are you. All you need to be a witch if yourself, my loves.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

#witchcraft #witch #witches #witchblr #witch tips #baby witch #baby witch tips

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rolandtowen · 3 years

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three times Zuko comes into the Jasmine Dragon coffee shop, and one time Sokka leaves with him. Set in the Neurodiverse Zukka AU, but can read as a standalone.

*banging pots and pans together* "Come over here and get yall Neurodiverse Zukka!"

Read it on Ao3 or under the cut!

TW: discussions of skin picking and implied child abuse

When Sokka pulls into the parking lot of the Jasmine Dragon, he is unsurprisingly the first car there. Being a freshman in town means getting the worst pick of shifts at local businesses. Sokka was hired on to work the opening shift, which means he wakes up at the ungodly hour of 5am to open the shop before the first round of sleep-deprived college students comes in. The pay isn't bad, Mr. Iroh is an incredibly fair man,

The bell on the door jingles on his way in, and he flips several light switches on, watching as the coffee shop slowly comes to life. He busies himself with getting the beans for the day grinding, pulling his first shot and dialing in the expresso. When he takes a sip, the espresso is spot on for the day, which is a relief. Having to make adjustments as customers start filing in is a nightmare.

Today's brew is floral and citrusy, so he decides to make himself and iced lavender latte - with oat milk, of course, because he's gotta do it for the gays - and he spends the next 20 minutes setting out pastries and fiddling with the display cases, making everything look perfect.

At 6am sharp, Sokka unlocks the front door and flips their sign to open, before retreating behind the bar to nurse his latte. Not even five minutes later, the door bell jingles, and Sokka sees a flash of dark hair, face obscured by a pile of textbooks and binders. The figure runs into one table, and then another, and Sokka is rushing out from behind the counter. He gets there just before textbooks go toppling everywhere, his hands taking a firm hold of the top bundle. As he pulls the books into his arms, he sees the face behind them.

Breathtaking golden eyes.

And.. a massive burn scar.

"Hi!" Sokka says, "I'm the barista on shift today - my name's Sokka." He would reach his hand for the other man to shake, but for the stack of textbooks in them.

Golden Eyes smiles.

"I'm Zuko, Zuko Sozin," he says, setting his remaining textbooks on the table by his side. Sokka follows suit.

"Hey, I think I've seen you before - are you taking Piandao's Intro to Biology class?"

"Uh, yeah - yeah! You sit a few rows in front of me." Zuko laughs. "Your doodles are uh, something alright."

Sokka knocks him good-naturedly on the shoulder. "I gotta keep my hands busy for my brain to focus." He looks down at the stack of books on the table. "What on earth are you studying, to have that many books?"

"Uh, Biology and Chemistry double-major, Pre-Med track." Sokka's eyes widen. "It's really not that much! I got a bunch of stuff out of the way with AP credits."

Sokka raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, it is a lot - but I'm really passionate about it. I want to be a doctor."

"Well, Dr. Sozin, what can I get started for you today?"

"Can I get a iced matcha, with a lot of honey?"

Sokka raises his other eyebrow. "A doctor with a sweet tooth?"

"Kind of?"

"Don't worry, I won't rat you out to your dentist. An iced matcha with extra honey?" Zuko nods and Sokka smiles. "You got it, doc."

ii.

Sokka falls into a routine at the Jasmine Dragon. He opens the shop every morning, and every morning of the fall semester so far, Zuko Sozin comes in at precisely 6:05am. Zuko will order an iced matcha with honey, and sits at a table by the window with his laptop and at least two textbooks open at all times. Then, at 11:50am - Sokka guess he has a class that starts at noon - Zuko leaves the shop, always making sure to throw his spare change into Sokka's tip jar.

He's so beautiful.

On a slow day, Sokka comes out from behind the safety of the counter and works up the courage to ask Zuko if he can study with him. Zuko looks shocked at first, but his lips quirk up in a smile as he gestures for Sokka to sit in the chair across from him, moving his textbooks to make room for Sokka's one book and laptop.

"What are you studying, Sokka?" Zuko appears to be genuinely interested.

"Oh, uh, social work, with a concentration in mental health." Sokka waits for Zuko to laugh at him. It never comes. He looks up at him over their laptops.

"That's really cool."

"You think so?"

"Yeah! I mean, some pre-med majors can be really pretentious, really dismissive of mental illness, but um - not me. I don't really have that luxury." Zuko laughs, as though at a joke with himself. "What's the Intro to Biology for, then?"

"Not all of us got our common core out of the way with AP credits, like some nerd I know." Zuko smiles at that, and looks back down at his laptop screen.

Sokka pulls his keys from his pocket and starts fidgeting with the stim toy he keeps on his keychain as he reads through his latest assignment for his Mental Illness and Society class. He bought it on Etsy, relieved to find a neurodivergent-owned shop after scrolling through a lot of stores that just seemed to be hopping on the 'trend' of selling fidget toys. He flips to the next page in his textbook, popping the buttons back and forth in a steady rhythm. He remembers Zuko's sitting across from him and stops abruptly.

"Is this annoying? Do you want me to stop?"

Zuko just cocks his head. "Why would I get a say in what you do? It's kind of your shop, right?"

"Um, to be polite?" Sokka laughs. "And you would be surprised how many customers I get who think they get to tell me what to do." His eyes settle on the half drunk latte in front of him. "It's not really my shop either, I just work the early morning shifts so Mr. Iroh can sleep in. If you ever get to stay past noon sometime, you'll see him come in. You can't miss him, short guy, talks in riddles. He's older, a war vet I think - I just get that impression from some of the stories he tells me. But anyway, did you want me to stop fidgeting?" Sokka looks back up to meet those golden eyes.

Zuko glitches for a second. "Oh! No, no, go for it - if it helps you to study, I'm all for it."

Sokka smiles, and looking at the way Zuko keeps picking at his cuticles gives him an idea. He digs into his backpack and pulls out another stim toy, an acupressure ring. ""Do you want to try this instead of maiming your hands?"

Zuko hesitantly holds out a hand and Sokka drops it into his palm. "You don't have to."

Sokka scoffs. "I know I don't have to - I want to. Come on, I wear it on my thumb sometimes -" and suddenly he's taking Zuko's hands into his and getting very close to Zuko's face. Zuko can smell espresso on his clothes and Sokka's hands are so warm against his. Calloused, sure, but warm. He holds Zuko's right hand gently, pressing the spiky ring onto his thumb. "And you can rub it back and forth with your pointer finger and it gives you that kind of prickly sensation that you get from skin picking, just without the skin picking." Sokka pulls his hands away and Zuko immediately misses them. "Give it a shot, tell me what you think."

Zuko tentatively rolls the ring over his thumb. Huh. The cute barista's right, the acupressure gives him that same prickly, scratchy feeling that picking at his nails and cuticles does. "Wow," he says, "I think you've converted me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Then keep it, I've got a thousand more where that came from, ADHD perks."

Zuko instinctively opens his mouth to protest but the words die in his throat.

"You, you have ADHD?" He stops rolling the ring across his thumb.

"Yup." Sokka's lips popped on the 'p', and he turned to the next page in his textbook. "And I'm pretty sure you've got some spicy stuff happening your brain, too. But you don't have to tell me."

"How are you so open about it?"

Sokka's hand stills around the fidget. "My parents never treated me like I was deficient in any way - my brain just works differently, which means I have trouble with some 'normal' stuff. But I also strengths in areas that others don't have naturally. Accommodations aren't anything to be ashamed of."

"Sounds nice." All of the levity drops out of Zuko's voice.

Sokka levels a look at Zuko. He lets his eyes flit to the right side of Zuko's face and the scar there. He's seen it so many times, and the burns look so concentrated, almost... intentional. His stomach churns at the thought. The scar's old... and Zuko's at college now, he has to be safe - he has to be.

"Like I said, you don't have to tell me." Sokka's hand starts to fidget with the buttons again. "But I have it on good authority that I am a good listener."

"I'll... I'll keep that in mind." Zuko looks down at his hands, fingers rolling the ring back and forth against his thumb. "Thank you."

"Anytime, doc."

iii.

Somehow, fumbling through their collective social awkwardness, they manage to swap numbers.

At the end of the fall semester, Sokka texts Zuko for the first time.

S: hey, im gonna be a few minutes later. don't worry, im still coming.

Z: okay. thank you.

When Sokka finally pulls into the parking lot fifteen minutes late, he sees Zuko waiting outside the door, sitting on a bench, head buried in one of his chemistry textbooks.

"Hey," he puts his keys in the door. "You can just come in while I open, it won't take too long."

Zuko follows him inside, and he closes the door against the chill.

"You didn't have to text me," Zuko says, like it's a question.

"I wanted to," Sokka starts flipping on light switches. "I know you've got your routine, and I didn't want to stress you out when it got messed up."

"Why would that matter to you?"

"Um, I don't want you to be stressed? I kind of care about you."

"You... you care about me?" Zuko stands in the middle of the coffee shop, unmoving.

Sokka smiles. "Yeah, I think I do."

"Why?"

"I think we could be friends?"

"Oh." Zuko's face falls for a second - what Sokka has come to understand is his 'processing' face - and he looks back up a second later. "I think we could be friends too."

"Friendship with a barista has great perks, you know." Sokka laughs as he starts up the grinder. "Although the perks of a social worker friend aren't too bad either."

"How's that going? With your first semester ending?" Zuko sits on a stool at the bar and watches Sokka putter around behind it.

"Well, I'm going to pass Intro to Biology, not for lack of trying on Piandao's part - I swear he's trying to weed out all the humanities kids. It isn't even a weed out course!" He polishes an espresso glass furiously. "How are you doing?"

Zuko chokes. "Oh, I'm - I'm fine, you know it's a hard class and all -"

"You're getting an A, aren't you?" Sokka squints at him from behind a bag of coffee beans. "Curve breaker," he scoffs.

"Hey, it's not my fault that I'm, what did you call it? A 'burnt-out gifted kid with people pleasing tendencies'." Zuko crosses his arms and huffs at the memory of that conversation. Sokka had read him like a picture book. And it was not fair for one person to be that good at emotions.

"You are correct, I did indeed call you that." Sokka pulls the first shot of the morning. "And it looks like I was right."

"You know what you said the other week, about being a good listener?"

"Sure do," Sokka takes a sip of the espresso, swishing it around in his mouth before spitting it out. "What's on your mind?"

"Well, if we're going to be... friends, I just think you'd want to know that - I'm autistic." Zuko stares at Sokka searching his face for any cues about what the next words out of his mouth will be, waiting for the facade of friendship to drop. He furiously rolls the acupressure ring up and down his thumb.

"Okay, that's great!"

"...what."

Zuko's hands freeze and he squeezes the ring against his skin, feeling the pressure increase.

"That's great, I'm glad you felt safe enough to tell me that. I kind of guessed your parents weren't as accommodating as mine?"

Zuko laughs something sour. "No, no they were not." He looks up in surprise as Sokka puts an iced matcha, extra honey, in front of him. "You're right though, I do feel safe here. I feel safe with you." Zuko looks down at the acupressure ring on his thumb, softening his grip. "You could have totally ignored me, but you didn't. Or you could've been mean about my quirks - but you weren't. Why?"

"Well, for starters, you tip well." Sokka smiles and leans across the counter, bracketing Zuko's elbows in with his own. "But you're also a really great guy - you're passionate, you want to make people's lives better, and you're also like, really beautiful."

Zuko feels his cheeks flush. "You really think that?" His fingers still against the fidget again, but he doesn't feel the need to press it into his skin. He's captivated by Sokka's words. Surely, Sokka couldn't actually mean -

"Oh, yeah. Every bit." Sokka brushes his hand against one of Zuko's, the one with the fidget ring. "Can I hold your hand?"

"Yes, please, yes." After weeks, Sokka's hand is back in his, and Zuko thinks he's going to implode. "Can, can you hold both of my hands? With both of your hands?"

"Of course," Sokka's positively beaming, grabbing Zuko's hands and running his thumbs across his knuckles. "Now you're absolutely allowed to say no to my next question, and there are no hard feelings."

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"Fuck yes."

The iced matcha is forgotten.

+ i

Sokka's feet hurt like hell. Mr. Iroh had called in him to work a double on Friday, and since he doesn't have any classes on Fridays, he foolishly agreed.

It won't seem so foolish once you see the paycheck, he reminds himself. He and Zuko have a deal. Zuko pays for his medical school with his job shelving books at the University library, and Sokka pays for their tiny apartment by caffeinating all of the other broke college kids in town. By some miracle, they seem to be able to make it work. Zuko graduated into the medical college a year early, which helps with tuition costs, and of course his brilliant boyfriend got all kinds of scholarships.

Sokka is indescribably proud of him.

The door bell jangles just as Sokka is wiping the crumbs off the last cafe table. "Hey, we're starting to close up for the night, so it'd better be a to-go order," he calls over his shoulder.

"Even for me?"

"Zuko!" Sokka drops his cloth immediately and spins around, pulling Zuko into a hug. Zuko taps the small of his back when he's ready to let go, and Sokka lets him go, beaming. "You came to visit me at work?"

"More like I picked up your favorite soup dumplings from Haru's across the street and thought we could walk home together?" Zuko shrugs, gesturing to the brown paper bag in his arms. "How's that sound to you?"

"Baby, that's just what I needed today." Sokka picks up his cleaning supplies. "Okay, I just need to put all of this away and then we can lock up and go home, how's that?"

"Great," Zuko smiles at him. "I may have also picked up some more Doctor Who DVDs from the library," he smirks.

"Oh, you trickster!" Sokka yells from the kitchen, before appearing again. "You used my one weakness, pork soup dumplings, against me in order to get your nerdy way."

"Oh, big talk coming from the guy who watches astronomy documentaries for fun," Zuko laughs as Sokka leads him out of the shop, switching off the lights and locking the door behind him. "If it were up to you, we'd be watching Cosmos all weekend, and I can only take so much of Neil deGrasse Tyson explaining the peculiarities of the moon."

"Hey, the moon is cool!"

"You are correct, the moon is very cool. It's freezing, because it's a rock. In space. With no atmosphere. Or life." Zuko deadpans, earning a light punch on the shoulder from Sokka.

"Fine, you get Doctor Who tonight, but Saturday is going to be all PBS Nova, baby. Brace yourself." Sokka takes Zuko's free hand into his as they start the walk home.

"Well, as long as you're there, I'm happy."

Notes:

fidgets in this work were inspired by those from shop StimBox

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aurora-daily · 3 years

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AURORA’s Reddit Q&A (July 13th 2021)

Kmilalv: Hello aurora we love you, I'm @ aurora.s_love on instagram ✨✨🥰🥰🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️ Aurora: oh hellooo!!!! Exportmusic: Meep Aurora: meep < 3 Lisxnne: WELL HELLO AND THANKS FOR YOUR NEW SONG! 🙏🌟💕 Aurora: HELLO!! and thank you for being open to it 24681357900: Thank u for making music Aurora: thank you for inviting it into your heart Emergency-Club-7529: This is have some upper case , it's the real Aurora Aurora: yes!!! Helloooooo brunamombach: hello ✨🃏🧚🏻‍♂️🤘🍇🍄🧚🏻‍♀️ when are you coming do Brazil? so glad to see you here!!! Aurora: I think I will be coming to Brazil next year I love being in Brazil because I feel like it awakens my heart and soul to be there !! Brunamombach: if you were going to an souless island, what book would you bring with you? 🧚🏻‍♂️🍇🍄🧚🏻‍♀️🤘🃏 kisses from Brazil Aurora: I would either take: "The name of the wind" and "a Wise mans fear" or the LOTR trilogy. Or the "Mistborn" trilogy. or "warbreaker" or "the good omens" or "the ocean at the end of the lane" or "Anne of Green gables" or "The alchemist" or just all the books in the world oh no I cant decide

all DanParis: Hey have some karma you cool bean 🤌🏼 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Aurora: thank you < 3 Ok-Estimate8468: Tell us something you can tell us about the second track on the Cure For Me vinyl, “Potion For Love”. I'm very curious...

Aurora: its the song I decided for the B-side of the vinyl, and I will probably release it digitally one day too. Its the sister song to "exist for love" but from the other perspective. where love does not fill you up, but love has left a big hole within you < / 3 Ok-Estimate8468: Did you get a lot of unfollows and hate from bad people due to Cure For Me? Aurora: I got a little hate from homophobes, and also abelist, and racist comments from people claiming there was nothing wrong with their mindset. BUT it does not bother me. and I will never stop speaking up about the things I find important. because.. what else would our meaning on this earth be? if that makes sense. Some people have attacked me personally, but sadly mostly its people defending their own hateful ways of being. I cant even imagine how it really is to be a victim of racism or violent homophobia, so I feel like the least I can do is to try the best I can to show support. and speak up. and be an ally.

So a bit more short - yes, and I really dont mind!!!! unfollow me if you find speaking about equality and the right to live, and love and be loved unsettling <3 thank you for this question! Ok-Estimate8468: How was the process of creating the studio version of Cure For Me? I heard your first acoustic performance and saw that it's much smoother than the studio, so I was curious to see how you managed to create another even more amazing version. Aurora: Me and Magnus just played around, and we really tried to go with our emotions, and to be playful and to not think too much about what was "AURORA" or what was even...pretty! we just laughed! and danced! and did what felt lovely to us.

I think this is why the making of this song is one of my favourite memories, and also I think that is why it sounds so playful! because it is!! it was like playing a game. and I did also play alot around with symbolics in both the lyrics and the way this song is produced. it all has a meaning you see... but of course I will let you figure that out yourself!!

Pingouiin_: What's your favourite mountain around bergen ? Aurora: mine is Løvstakken!! and Magnus loves Ullrikken!! but important to NEVER stop a Norwegian person walking on the mountain. just say. a quick hello and wander off your own mind. become at one with nature Whoamiandallthat: Thank you for existing, I love your art and you inspire me so much 💙 You are one of my favorite artists 😊 And just the other day I found out that you are just two years older than me, and so successful... I'm wondering how it was for you to become so popular, did you feel like people thought you needed a cure? I'm also in the sphere of arts - filmmaking; but I feel like my films are not good enough... I have a YouTube channel with some videos - if you ever see this comment I would like for you to check it out 😊 Aurora: Ive felt through my life like something was a little off, ive never resonated that much with the people or the "system" around me! it didn't bother me so much even though I. was teased a lot for it ( so again I was very lucky) but I never felt like I understood the world and my place in it. or how I. could fit in, in this worlds society and with other people ! and becoming "famous" which I dont really feel that I am, but I guess that I am a little "known" (meep) was very strange, and very hard to handle at first. as impressions affect me a lot, and noises and people etc. but with time I got better at handling all these impressions, and avoid getting a.. sensory overload! and I am so happy now, that I can look directly at strangers and actually listen to them, and understand them, and even love them I guess what I am trying to say, that ive now understood that this is the very thing that connected me to all of you. and now I see my place here on this earth. and I see all of you, and you give my life so much meaning!! Lets_Fight_Dragons: Firstly I wanted to say I recently discovered your music and I love everything about it. I have two questions, I hope that’s ok 1. How do you start writing songs because I’m trying to get into songwriting and I’m not sure how you write such amazing songs 2. What’s your favourite song you’ve released? Aurora: 1. well I dont really know. ( I am sorry!!) but I feel like it started really natural for me.. I. kind of just sat down with my piano.. and then I started playing around with the Keyes, and I figured out I could make an endless amount of melodies by simply pressing the keys in a different order!! remember finding this extremely magical (I was around 6 years old then) and after a while I started adding lyrics, and I just spent time looking into myself, trying to figure out. - what do I want to say? what do. I need to hear in a song? what do the world need to hear in a song? and etc. I always think about songwriting as storytelling. and I always start out by figuring out what story I want to tell, what matter I want to dress, or what pleases me, or annoys me with the world, or what emotion I need help dealing with!! and then I write a song!!! and if you feel like its difficult to come up with melodies, I would recommend finding a song you like, and learn the chords of it (or find an instrumental version. online) and then you make your own melodies on top of that! many of the songs of the world share the same chords, and often the melodies on top is the thing separating them. music belongs to all of us, and its clear that every song in the world comes from the same magical source. 2. I think its the seed. or couples creatures!! or infections of a different kind!! tiffnoir: Our dear AURORA, your b-side A Potion For Love is helping me a lot (broken heart since a few days ago). I wanted to ask (if I can haha) if would it be included at the upcoming album, or maybe a relaxing, vintage video for it? Thanks for helping all of us with your music ^_^ Aurora: thank you som much for letting this song into your heart after writing exist for love, I figured that I should also make a sister-song that could belong for the ones with a broken heart as well it will not be on the album, but for you I will try to put it on the deluxe version FedahpWithThisWurld: Hello, Aurora! I'm a neurodivergent person and I have always felt a lot of shame over being the way I am, like I'm not good enough. Your music makes me feel better and it makes me feel that being me is okay. Thank you for that. I want to know how you manage to be so confident? Do you ever get nervous before a show? Aurora: hello!!!! I have had a lot of similar experiences with myself in this world too.. so I am very sad to hear you've lived your life with this feeling I think after a while I understood what makes me different also makes me special. and special is good. and if you think about it, special isn't even that different, because in one way or another we are all... unique. but of course, some people have had to fight their. way through life more than others.. making it less easy to learn how to love yourself. and accept yourself. I guess, now I've surrounded myself with good people who understand my quirks and sensitivities, people who give me time. and space to be me. I have also been lucky, because I have a family that have always encouraged me to be myself. and to love myself. and I guess that is why I am trying to convey to all of you now, because now we are like al little family. where being who you are - is cool. and you're cool. and were all cool. and I get nervous all the time, of all sorts of things! but I just accept that feeling as a part of being human. its uncomfortable yes, but I know at least it won't kill me! 3charmplease: What was it like recording for Frozen? Aurora: it was magical and also slightly scary. but it felt safe and good calling at the mountains. and I feel warm thinking about it. especially now. cause my father just walked over to me with five little strawberries in his hand. he gave them all to me. and they were so small, and sweet. im currently sitting in my childhood home, right next to the very piano where I wrote "runaway" and so many other songs. Tiny-Sink-2397: Boom shake shake shake the room Aurora: that was actually during the recording process of Cure For Me! Tiny-Sink-2397: I thought it was!! Seemed like an epic party Aurora: YES Joelynxyzs: what's your favorite movie ? Aurora: Practical magic BUT ALSO THESE: The LOTR triology ALL GHIBLI MOVIES avatar once upon a time in Hollywood Hannah the perfume fantastic MR. fox Star Wars: a new hope rouge one isle of dogs the hunchback of Notre dame! the arrival stypop: If you were to get the chance to work on a sequel to another Disney movie, which one would you want it to be? Aurora: since Disney owns Lucas films I would love to be a part of the Star Wars universe or to play either a magical fairy, witch mermaid, forest nymph, or a scary beast!! WE WO brisot: The masks in CFM remind me of theater plays, do you ever watch any and how much of an influence for you is the art of acting? Aurora: this era of my life is very influenced by the ancient times where theatre was all they had. no CGI or special effects etc. and I really wanted all these videos to feel very authentic, and down to earth! The shell in "exist for love" was handmade by someone, and I painted all the masks in "cure for me" myself! so I like it when it feels... human Clear-Champion-1833: i love you Aurora:

Jicuhrabbitkim: How do you like your fried eggs cook!! I like it when its very crispy!! Aurora: as long as its from a local farm that has free healthy chickens that walk about freely and eat good food I like my eggs crispy too. GhostReaper3: Hi I have a question as well: How do you keep positive? Many people including myself find this difficult sometimes so it would be good to hear your technique or way of keeping upbeat and positive! Also, thank you for sharing your music with us! Aurora: I know what you mean, i've struggled with it myself at times. but I guess I tried separating in my mind what I can do something about, and what I cant? if that makes sense?? we are all just here on this planet. and though we all seem to be going though the same things we still feel so alone, in our thoughts and in our minds. And I've been very aware that with music, and with this fandom we can all finally connect, and see each other, and know that we are not alone! and if there is one thing I love, it is to dance a little after I've cried. I think its important to. shake these emotions out of our body. like animals do! and then I made CURE FOR ME. because I thought about all the warriors out there feeling. a little crazy... after isolation! or after being depressed! and being l rocked in with their families that might not accept them for who they are.. and I thought I needed to make a song for us all, that felt a little uplifting. and uniting. just so we know where not alone, and just so we know that we are worthy.. of everything! and that we are worthy of celebrating ourselves!! ALWAYS! aniri003: Were the dancers freestyling in the last part of the video Aurora: YES! I told them to put their freak game on. And they were amazing. L_pls_use_revive: Hei Aurora! Apart from inspiring me with your music for emotional people, I also dicovered my love for Norway and the Norwegian language through you - now studying it in my second year at university. Tusen, tusen takk! I want to visit soon when traveling is safe - So which place should I not miss out on? Have a great life! Aurora: I think the whole of Norway is worth visiting! there are so many beautiful places. and beautiful people! I would ofc. recommend Bergen! (haha!) but also places like Tromsø, Trondheim, Stavanger, lofted and The Geirangerfjord and the Northwest!!! HAHA KakSetoKaiba: How's the progress of the album that you've been preparing which will be released after your death? Aurora: its going well, I take one song for every chapter and I put it on my death album instead of the album I'm making its going well. and im excited about it! maria_fernandez_: This is not a question but I just wanted to tell you that discovering you and your music has been the best thing that ever happened to me. What your music makes me feel cannot be described in words. I love you so much. Greetings from Spain!! Aurora: thank you!!! applepieaurora: Whats your favorite pie? 🐉 Aurora: apple pie and blueberry pie!! Ok-Potato7244: Thanks for sharing your time ... a warrior here to welcome you...Have some tea...And i don't need a cure for disliking keeping animals in cages...Especially birds...💚... Aurora: thank you pekaraseva: what do you feel when you perform Ioadk or Adkoh for people? Aurora: I feel so full of emotion and love and despair I could almost explode and its wonderful. I also feel insanely connected to the audience when I sing these songs.. I. think. its because they are such important pieces of my soul targaryenblood02: omg what do you think cure for me would smell like? 🐛 Aurora: like something Brazilian! like Asai! or caipirinha! or Brigadeiro!

sproutingephemeral: Hello Aurora, Thanks for your new song, I've gotten quite addicted to it😊 I have a question that might be a bit difficult to answer. I am a Warrior from the U.S. currently without a clue of where I should be and what I should be doing. I'm done with school, and in the process of moving to a new town with my parents. I'm applying for jobs, but I feel like I can't find my reason for being in a smaller area with not many people my age. I feel like my parents are trying to mold me into a certain person, which doesn't feel authentic to me. I probably should be making more of my own decisions at my age, but I'm a bit scared and confused, if what I think is deemed too unrealistic or out of line with their expectations for me (like a childhood dream?). I tried talking to them about it, to little success. Is there something inherently wrong with me? Or am I just being spoiled or lazy? I read about how you were initially opposed to starting your career until your mother convinced you to change your mind. How do you know whether or not to trust in your parents' plans for you? On a lighter note, do you prefer cookies that are more soft (chewy) or hard (crumbly)? I don't need a cure for...my autism, and tendency to talk regularly to my deceased cat at his grave (??)😿👼 Looking forward to seeing you in New York! Take care❤❤ Aurora: you should ALWAYS. only do what feels right for you. this world is very absurd, and people tend to think they know what is meaningful and what is important. but we all know, money and success isn't important beyond what you need to simply survive. this one life is yours. and you should be just who you want. and do what feels right for you. because its yours. its only yours. drink tea. work hard. be lazy. dance. be shy. laugh, cry. drink wine and eat good bread. be good. fight for something you care about. and either live for your work, or work a little and then just... live. get a garden, grow tomatoes, get a cat. or a dog. or a parrot. life can be so random, and it can be both so little, and so large at the same time. some days were meant to TAKE chances, and live. and sometimes were just meant to exist. and do nothing. you should never feel guilty for not "being enough" because you are enough. just who you are. just how you are. is enough. good luck on your strange journey my warrior, maybe our paths crosses and maybe they dont. but know, when you walk out of your door, that anything can happen! and the whole world is yours. Hippolyte_gray: is the name of the next album hidden in your previous songs ? Aurora: mayyyyyybeeeeeeeee rashadalt: what do you think about your fans who are racist/homophobic etc.? Aurora: I feel sorry for them. because I know I cant be easy l living a life so full of hate. and even spending your precious. time on this world bringing other people down. and I know how easy it is for people to be driven by fear, and how difficult. it can be to have an original meaning and stand up for what you really mean. so I dont judge them, or hate them,

but I do feel sorry for them. and I am also very disappointed in them. because its such a. waste of human potential to live your life in the paths of hatred.

but as long as we face hate with love, we will eventually win. when we show them. we are not the enemy, just people trying to make a better world, I think, and I hope that eventually we can all agree that being able to live, and being able to love is a human right. Brivera726: I noticed you said you would bring LOTR trilogy with you to an island- I’m reading them for the fourth time right now I feel like if Galadriel sing songs it would sound like you! Anyway I really like your art so yah just keep doing u- love from PFC Rivera, USMC Aurora: this is then est thing ive ever read thank you Aurora: I am. sorry people, but my time here (for tonight) is up </3 but I will probably be back looking at your questions and thoughts because I did really. enjoy this. and I. love you all so. much.

[link]

#aurora #aurora aksnes #q&a #interviews #potion for love #cure for me #into the unknown #collaborations #recommendations #ioadk song #adkoh #new album #future album #magnus

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heraldofzaun · 3 years

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what are your thoughts on viktor and being neurodivergent? though like, obligatory disclaimer that if riot ever did come out and say that "hey! viktor is canonically [something]" that would be catastrophic but i think it is a little bit of fun for consideration

Oh! Well I like to think he's autistic, which is partially because I am too. (Of course in canon it would be catastrophic because haha, oh man, look at how they've treated Blitzcrank's biographies ever since they gave him an updated one. There's some coding in there, alright, and I am... not a fan...)

I’ve posted a lot of long posts recently (this is no exception) and this is also on a kind of tricky subject, so I’m readmore’ing it.

So anyways, while I have to admit that some of the reason why (my) Viktor is autistic is because I am - I think that you can make a general semi-convincing argument. Or I'm so wrapped up in my own interpretations that I can, at the least. Anyways, from here on out when I say Viktor I mean my personal take. Your mileage may vary on applying this to other interpretations.

(Also, thoughts on new lore Jayce's being kind of coded to be like, a stereotypical autistic dude? (If you have any I mean.) I don't like that Riot is doing it, of course, but I've seen a few good rehabilitative takes on it in fandom. @hamartio's Jayce springs to mind, because their Jayce has been developed over the years and also written by someone who like. Cares. Anyways, I have my own personal Jayce ideas that rely on his old lore so he's not really an asshole there, at least in those regards, so I don't really have many thoughts on new Jayce. I think new Viktor is... pretty coded as well, but it’s also insanely stereotypical. The whole “always working, always wants certainty, gets into automation not because he (primarily) wants to help those injured by catastrophes in Zaun but because the catastrophes interrupt his work” thing makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I’ll write sometime on why the rewrite of his lore fails, in my opinion, to hit upon the same themes of his first - would that be of interest to folks? Anyways, this parenthetical is too long.)

I think that autistic Viktor is cool and makes sense, somewhat because of the fact that the ways he goes about solving his problems are, er, unorthodox. (Of course I am not saying that the GE is because he’s autistic, because that’s stupid. This is why I’m kind of squirrely about talking so openly about what I think Viktor’s got going on, and why I don’t really trust if a non-autistic person headcanons him as autistic. There’s a lot of room for that headcanon to just reinforce the “autistic people are supergeniuses with no emotions that work based off of Facts and Logic” trope, and I hate that.) Since a lot of autism is about feeling adrift from/at odds with neurotypical society, I think that Viktor’s general solutions and also his idealistic leanings in the face of everything Zaun is tracks for that. Roboticization makes sense as a way to stop suffering and death, because it’s more achievable than individual feats of immortality through magic or whatever. Viktor doesn’t really get why people would be so opposed to it - he’s made it clear that while he dislikes his own emotions and wants them gone, he doesn’t expect others to cast off theirs. (Maybe he expected that when he was in the thick of his emotional pain, mostly because he couldn’t imagine others choosing differently than he at the time, but not in the current day.)

Of course, externally, when the scary cyborg man who admits to cutting off his own limbs says “no, being a robot is cool, you can keep your emotions even”, any Zaunite (or any person) is going to interpret that as “he is definitely lying”. Viktor doesn’t quite make that leap. (I have thoughts on the whole Theory of Mind concept and I don’t mean to say that Viktor can’t empathize - he does, and does too much - with others, but I think that in this instance he just can’t quite understand sometimes why people don’t believe him.) He also doesn’t quite get why people would be so attached to the bodies that they’re currently in, especially if he can make a mechanical replica. Or why people might want to die and pass into non-existence after a life well lived. (To him, personally, there’s always more to do. Also he’s terrified of death but that’s another topic.)

I also think that Viktor’s empathy is of the hyper- rather than hypo- kind, partially because I feel like outside of self-advocacy groups the mere concept of autistic hyperempathy is seen as like... impossible? It’s also because he generally seems to be kind of an emotional guy in canon before Stanwick, what with the lore saying that “almost no trace of the original man remained” in reference to Viktor reemerging as someone without emotions. That, combined with the fact that he was described as having a “hope to better society” before everything went down, kind of makes me believe that he was a naive idealist type. (Again, not that autism makes you naive, but...) But yes, hyperempathy. Hence "no pain, no wars, no suffering, no death” being part of his ideology for the Glorious Evolution. He gets pretty ripped up about people being hurt, and it’s really only gotten worse over the years as he’s grasped the full scope of pain in the world.

Personally, I write pre-Stanwick-incident Viktor as someone who is still somewhat awkward with expressing emotion, but it’s not due to him not having them. It’s due to the fact that the ways in which he naturally expressed them and in which he interacted with the world were just... seen as odd/different/etc. (I don’t think Runeterra has an autism diagnosis or particularly excellent psychology, even in Piltover and Zaun, so he just gets the “you’re a weird dude” treatment for his entire life.) Stimming or smiling a certain way or talking a lot about his interests or, you know, the general autistic existence is weird to most people around him, as it unfortunately is in real life. So he’s more reserved until you actually know him, because he’s just masking all the time. (Fun fact about my Viktor: he’s pretty expressive under that actual mask of his. It helps to not have to micromanage expressions all the time when he isn’t experiencing a bout of flat affect due to [gestures vaguely at everything else going on with his mental state], although he sometimes feels poorly about not being able to manage himself. But that’s his issues, and I think it’s good for him to show emotion.)

Side note - Stanwick was able to do such a number on Viktor due to: a) Stanwick being very charismatic and manipulative, on top of being an actually smart man and scientist - he’s really a great example of a “good Zaunite”, in the sense of being good at being what the culture rewards, b) Viktor actively dealing with the death of his parents and Stanwick being an older adult who’d treated him kindly and had never seemed put-off by Viktor’s oddities, and c) Viktor not realizing that he’d get backstabbed, because yes he knows that that happens in academia but Stanwick’s nice. Whether or not the outcomes would have been the same if Viktor were more competent at being “a good Zaunite”... well, probably not. Viktor ended up where he did because of who he is.

(Secondary side note: Viktor has a very strong and very black-and-white sense of what’s right and wrong, as well as general black-and-white thinking. You can see how that would have... not helped in the situations he was put through.)

This is getting kind of rambling, but I guess the point of this is that Viktor’s wanting to remove his emotions may be cloaked in the language of them being “inefficient” or “unhelpful”, which would feed into autistic stereotypes, but it’s really more of a matter of them being too painful and raw for him to process. He feels too much and hurts too much, and no amount of positive emotions in the world will (in his mind) make up for the pain he’s felt and will feel. So it’s better to not feel anything at all, isn’t it? At least then you aren’t overwhelmed by it all.

Viktor just hasn’t fit in with Zaun for all his life, really. Not as an odd child who can tell you all about science-fiction and techmaturgy, not as an odd and reserved teenager/young adult, not as a bright young doctoral student still dealing with grief but trying to make the best of it, and... not as the Machine Herald. But now he’s given up on trying to fit in, for better or for worse.

(Other miscellaneous and less serious autistic thoughts on him: generally a pretty fixed diet, partially due to being autistic but also due to what’s easily available in Zaun + what agrees with his stomach. A fan of weight and pressure - I like to think that the reason his outfit is like that is that he finds it comforting, and also that he has a weighted blanket or two around. Special interests of general techmaturgy, robotics, and science-fiction. He can talk for hours about any of those, and has. Both his parents were mildly spectrum-y, his mother a little bit moreso, so they just kinda assumed that him being him was out-of-the-ordinary and a bit strange but not something “horribly wrong”. Oh! And his third arm, which is under a little less conscious control than the rest of him, still stims sometimes when he’s working or otherwise not paying attention to it.)

This was very long and jumped around a lot, because I find it hard to give a convincing paragraph-by-paragraph argument about exactly why I think that Viktor is autistic, or rather why I headcanon him as such. But hopefully it was interesting! I just have a lot of thoughts on him, as well as the general state of autistic-coded or perceived-as-autistic-by-individuals (both allistic and autistic) characters in media and so it’s very hard to do anything concise without branching out into discussing other topics.

#anonymous #headcanons | beneath the mask #//preemptive remark that these are my own thoughts on autism which are filtered through the lens of my life experiences #//as well as that of some aspects (emphasis on some) of academic research. baron-cohen can choke with his theories #//also i did not explain some terms here under the assumption that those reading would probably already know them. feel free to ask if not!

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lonelypond · 3 years

Text

BETWEEN US

NicoMaki, Love Live, 3.6K, 1/1

Summary: Nishikino Maki and Yazawa Nico have many challenges ahead, but they get through them together.

Between Us

Is this what love is? Not a fire that bites painfully but two people laying so close to feel every breath, hands nearly touching, eyes on the brilliant stars opening themselves up suddenly, sure enough to share truths they speak into the night, this solitary space, this private moment between them.

Nishikino Maki spoke first, always the more impatient, curious about Yazawa Nico’s state of mind. “What do you want to do, Nico-chan?”

“Nico wants to show everyone that little and cute can be strong, sexy smart, talented, funny, hard working, successful….I’m tired of how the world treats cute girls like Nico. Nico is a star.” Nico flung her arms out, to encompass the sky. “They should be in awe.”

I am, Maki said to herself, and then thought, why not say it out loud. This was all new, why not be bolder.

“I am.”

Nico squeezed Maki’s hand, a reward for honesty. “What do you want to do, Maki-chan?”

No one said Maki’s name like Nico. It had been Maki’s anchor through the continuing craziness of Muse, Eli’s taskmaster torture, qualifying, Honoka’s collapse, then starting over, right as they discovered these new feelings, a gift from all they’d been through.

“I want to use the Nishikino fortune for new things, good things, to stop propping up out dated ways and awful people. I want to find new ways to help…” Maki was a person of specifics and she had a list. “Girls, gays, empaths, people fighting bigotry, neurodivergents, water protectors,” Maki thought of Rin and giggled, “furries, us, our friends, the world.”

“Maki-chan will do great things.”

“Once I’m 30.”

Nico Yazawa considered. This was so new and 14 years from now, when Maki was a doctor and her trust vested, seemed as distant as the nearest star Nico could see. But Nico knew naming goals was the first step to achieving them, even if it seemed a wild fantasy.

“Nico will be there.” Not flashy, just quiet determination.

Nico heard Maki gulp. She was probably tearing up and couldn’t speak. Nico didn’t really expect her too. Sharing was such a new trust. But Maki’s hand carefully kept precise palm to palm contact with Nico’s. That said everything.

“Marry Nico.”

Maki sighed. “No one can know.”

“Okay.”

YAZAWA NICO FINISHES FIRST INTERNATIONAL TOUR WITH SPRING SPLASH IN HONOLULU

NISHIKINO MAKI BEGINS RONIN YEAR SOLO WORLD TOUR SURFING IN MAUI

Sunrise. Quiet beach. Her own choices. Is this what contentment felt like, Maki wondered. Finally, moments of quiet to listen for the important things. Leaning against her duffle and board, dressed in a striped rash guard, bright lavender board shorts, and a faded denim “You Are On Native Land” cap, Maki stretched, watching the horizon as a lone speck appeared in the distance, jogging toward her, not actually growing much as the distance closed, Maki thought with a private grin. Nico, running in an oversized hoodie and bikini bottom, gasped dramatically, reaching a hand for the water bottle Maki held out as a lure.

“Still running 5Ks every morning?”

“10K when I don’t have a concert or rehearsal. Nico is a boss.”

“Umi would be proud.”

Nico dropped and did ten fast pushups in the sand next to Maki, “Not if Nico told her it was only to make girls swoon.”

“Girls?” Maki arched an eyebrow, hand sweeping through her hair.

“Girl.”

“Fiancee.”

Nico laughed, rolling toward Maki, pulling her down into a playful, sandy kiss. “Ready to upgrade to trophy wife?”

“Yes.”

But there was no hurry that morning. Both had put their other lives on multiple 15 plus hour flights and fallen briefly off the grid to sit side by side on this hidden beach, the tide surging, a rare treasured morning to share.

“Went to the symphony last night. Monica Mancini sang, Henry Mancini’s daughter,” Nico hummed the Pink Panther theme, “Nice voice, more your thing than Nico’s though. She sang a lot of Johnny Mercer. And some new stuff. Nico was taking notes.”

“You’re great on stage Nico-chan, but I guess you can always learn from other performers.”

“Nico is learning songwriting.”

Maki pushed against Nico, “Going to try to get me to put Nico Nico Ni to music again.”

Nico’s mood turned serious, “I miss watching you play.”

“I miss playing.”

“When Nico gets her penthouse, there will be a baby grand.” Nico let her hand settle on Maki’s, “Working with a portable keyboard now. And Umi’s giving me advice, so many books...I’m so busy reading, there’s no time to party.”

“Good.”

“Hey, do you have any plans tomorrow night?”

Nico stared at Maki for a moment, but there was only earnestness in the amethyst staring back, “Not since you got here.”

“I’ve been talking with some of the elders, volunteering on Maui, learning about healing plants, and aloha ‘āina.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s really cool. I’m going to get Papa to invite some of the teachers and doctors I’ve met to give seminars for us. Aloha ‘āina means so many things, but it’s mostly being determined to take care of each other by taking care of the land. It’s very land based and tradition based, here in Hawai’i,” Maki picked up a handful of sand, “but it’s caring and not soft...exactly...when you meet Kai, he’ll explain it better. We’ve been invited for dinner, his uncle plays the ohe hano ihu.”

“What’s that?”

“ A nose flute, not for big concerts, more personal...Kai says his uncle has so many stories about it being used in courting rituals.”

“Is Maki-chan taking notes?”

“Maybe.” Ah, Maki’s sexy, best musician in the world grin. Nico missed that one a lot on the road. A killer cute band was no replacement for the brilliant, lovely pianist who’d so boldly wrapped Nico’s heart in music.

They were in the teasing phase now. “Do you have to keep courting a cute girl after marriage?”

Maki shoved into Nico again, “Well, duh…”

Joint laughter, rolling out to meet the tide.

“We’re getting married.” Maki said quietly.

“Just need to take our passports to pick up the license and go to the shrine. We filled out everything else online.” Nico glanced at her bare legs, “And Nico brought a kimono. Although Maki-chan looks sporty cute just like she is.”

Maki had a far off look, not paying much attention to Nico. Happy to wait ‘til Maki drifted back to the beach, Nico was going to enjoy memorizing her favorite scenery, Maki’s beautifully expressive face, now relaxed and open, thoughts waves and clouds in constant motion. Nico knew the solitude here allowed Maki to relax, there was no family pressure, their phones were off, nothing on either of their schedules for at least the rest of the week. A rare moment to sit with each other, sharing this beauty.

NISHIKINO REAL ESTATE GROUP BUYS LARGE LUXURY TOWER NEAR NISHIKINO MEDICAL CENTER

SUPERSTAR REFUSES TO GIVE UP PENTHOUSE APARTMENT TO NISHIKINO HEIR

Fast food. School girls lingering from Otonokizaka. Two people shoved into the booth furthest from the door and windows, sitting on the same bench, hip to hip, back to the rest of the room.

“So many memories in this place.” Nico unwrapped her burger.

“So many french fries.” Maki dipped a sample french fry in her chocolate milkshake.

“Another meal Nico paid for. You got rich not paying for food.”

“Hey! You were too proud to let me pay.”

“Nico is still too proud.” Nico tapped her fingers on the table. This late afternoon, for this clandestine meeting, they’d allowed themselves the indulgence of wearing their braided gold and platinum wedding band, Maki added the simple diamond Nico had bought her for their engagement.

“Is this going to work? Us actually living this close together without rumors starting?” Maki had been worrying. So many comments in the press and on social media.

“Everyone already has us at war. Nico’s a selfish poser, Maki’s a spoiled brat. Enemies to lovers.”

“Not funny, Nico-chan.”

“Nico will throw a huge party before I leave on my next tour. My new landlord will threaten very publically to throw me out of the building. Everything will flare up, but Maki-chan will continue to do boring future doctor things and by the time Nico gets back, all anyone will be talking about is Nico’s new album.”

“They’re not boring future doctor things.”

“No, they’re smart, saving the world future doctor things and Nico is so proud.” A quick kiss on Maki’s palm.

“Meanwhile…”

“Meanwhile, Umi and Eli install a secret hatch above the decorative staircase centerpiece of your expensively designed main room.”

“I’m going to miss you, Nico-chan.” Sadness.

Time to change the mood. Nico dipped a french fry in her strawberry shake and fed it to Maki. “How’s studying going?”

Maki leaned, chin in hand, frowny. “I could be more motivated.”

“So B?”

“A minus.”

“Nerd.”

“ ‘s dull." Maki said, chewing slowly. "But have to stay on track with the family benchmarks.”

“Yeah.” Nico decided to talk about happier things, “ooohh, did I tell you Eli’s setting up a foundation for Nico as her graduation project. We’ve already donated tickets to queer youth groups in every city on the tour and Nozomi’s setting up mentor programs.”

“Expect a large anonymous donation.”

“Expect a large not so anonymous thank you.”

“I’m just proud that you’re doing things to actually help people. I want to do more.”

“You’re studying to be a doctor, Maki-chan. That’s hard. Nico’s got it easy. All Nico has to do is” Nico went into her signature gesture, “Nico Nico Ni and everything gets brighter.” Nico suddenly remembered she shouldn’t have let her catch phrase out full voice during what was supposed to be a secret meeting, but this was a low traffic period so no one seemed to notice.

“I couldn’t get that out of my head, the first time I saw you do it. It was annoying.”

“But you loved Nico.” Nico snuggled closer, enjoying a chance to feel Maki next to her.

“But I loved Nico, all of Nico, the bold, brash, terrible liar, the kind, caring sister, the determined ally and friend, the hard working and talented performer.”

“Nico wasn’t a liar, Nico was an optimist.”

“Private chef,” Maki cough giggled.

Nico grabbed the french fries as Maki reached for another one, “Confiscated for cheekiness.”

“Give me those.” Maki grabbed, Nico dodged, french fries flew loose and they giggled their way through the next few minutes until Nico leaned forward to whisper in Maki’s ear.

“So are your parents still in New York City?”

Gulping, suddenly completely flustered, Maki nodded.

Nico bounced up, offering a gallant hand, “Nico will walk you home.”

“Fancy.”

“Only the best for Mrs. Yazawa.”

“That would be Mrs. Nishikino.”

“We’ll wrestle. Nico will win.”

“Optimist.”

Nico’s hand on Maki’s waist was a gentle guide into the autumn night, two hats pulled down, two collars pulled up, Nico in a mask to protect her voice. “Wait and see.”

Maki leaned into Nico. This night, unlike too many others recently, felt just right.

HEAD OF THE NISHIKINO MEDICAL GROUP COLLAPSES, HOSPITALIZED

NICO NI NEW YEAR’S CHARITY CONCERT SELLS OUT IN MINUTES

Nico had never been so sick. She’d lost count of the medicines she was taking to sleep at night, and then the additional ones added to get her through tonight’s concert. Then she could rest. Go to her Mama’s house and get babied for a bit. Maki had been so sad at Christmas, with too many family obligations to fly to Los Angeles. Nico had gotten through their Christmas Eve quick chat and then collapsed, barely moving until yesterday’s rehearsal, which wiped her out.

Pounding on her hotel room door. What the hell? Phone pinged, the Maki-tone.

“Open your door, Nico--chan.” Maki sounded angry. Was she pounding? Nico felt even fuzzier, slumping to the door, opening it to fall against a tall, angry Maki, beanie over her hair, sunglasses, and a mask.

“Nico-chan?” Now Maki’s voice sounded tearful.

“Hi, Mrs. Yazawa.” Nico croaked out, hoping to make Maki at least giggle.

Strong arms swept her up, Maki striding across the room, putting Nico gently down on the bed, Maki immediately examining every bottle by Nico’s bedside, “What kind of quack put you on all this?”

“Don’t know.”

“Don’t know? You don’t know.”

“Trainer found ‘em…recommended.”

“You should be in a hospital.” Maki’s voice broke.

“Concert, charity, millions. Nico Nico Ni.” Nico had no idea if what she was saying made sense.

“Cancel. Refund. I’ll make a bigger donation.”

“Nico is a trooper.”

“Nico is a zombie. What the hell kind of irresponsible moron gave you all this?” Maki crashed all the bottles to the floor. “Did they inject you with anything?”

“It’s LA, Maki-chan, the beautiful people never stop.” Nico coughed. It hurt like 50 Umi arrows to the chest, “Nico is a beautiful people.”

“Nico-chan…” Maki was kneeling next to the bed, desperation and weariness lining her face. She’d never travelled well, Nico realized.

Nico managed to flip so she was on her side, managing to smile at Maki, “Hey pretty girl.”

“I am going to sue that quack into despair and destitution.”

Nico blinked, suddenly aware that Maki should be in Tokyo. “Why are you here, Maki-chan?.”

“Hanayo heard a rumor…”

“Did anyone see you?”

“I don’t care.” Maki’s head dropped to the bed, “Papa collapsed...and you’re like this and hiding it from me…and letting some greedy idiot try to kill you...if anything happens to you, Nico-chan…” And the tears, Nico could feel them as she reached for Maki, hot, heavy, rolling off pale cheeks.

“Nico will be fine.”

Maki shook her head.

“Look at me, Maki-chan.”

Maki raised her head. Her eyes were bright. She was always so bright, so caring, her native prickliness a fortification against all the emotions Maki didn’t know how to process.

“I will be fine.”

Maki surged up, her arms drawing in Nico, whose heart was really not rested enough for tackled into bed by the redhead of her dreams. “Maki-chan, you’re going to hug Nico to death.”

“Don’t say that.” Maki’s arm twitched for a minute like she was going to shove Nico away, but then Nico found herself pressed as closely as she’d ever been against a clothed Maki, which would have been amazing if she could breathe. So Nico let a cough out and Maki loosened her hold.

“Let Nico sleep.”

“Okay. But I’m not going anywhere.”

Nico had closed her eyes, muttering, “...love you.”

“I love you too, Nico-chan.”

A-RISE STEPS IN AT LAST MINUTE FOR NICO NI

NISHIKINO MAKI CHECKING OUT STANFORD RESEARCH FACILITIES, POSSIBLE PARTNERSHIP

Nico is officially spoiled. Another morning waking up to Maki curled up by her side...She’d shipped everyone else back to Japan, tour over, a solid break until Nico’s doctor cleared her for rehearsal. Nico sat up, teasing tumbles of red hair, Maki had been very clear that Nico had to clear the steroids out of her system first. But at least Maki hadn’t banned other forms of exercise.

“I’m not asleep, Nico-chan.” Maki mumbled, sounding totally still asleep.

“Thanks for coming to rescue Nico.”

“Don’t make me do it again. I might have to go back to school.”

“I thought you were joining the Board Of Directors ahead of schedule?”

Maki opened her eyes, stretching, “Order pancakes. And bacon. And orange juice. And muffins.”

“Brunch in bed.”

“I’m not leaving until I have to.”

Nico reached down to kiss Maki’s forehead, “It’s been nice having you here.”

“Then come home.”

“Nico is working on it.”

Maki raised an eyebrow. Nico sounded excited. “Is there something I don’t know about?”

“It was supposed to be your Christmas surprise, but Nico’s agent was still negotiating.”

What could Nico’s agent be negotiating that would be a Christmas surprise for Maki?

“I’m going be the main character in a TV drama, based in Tokyo.”

“Really?”

“Really. I didn’t get to be there when your Dad ended up in the hospital and I’m so sorry…I knew you needed me, but...this is our life...” Maki nodded as Nico gestured at the hotel suite, continuing, “And I knew you were going to be super busy with family stuff so I pitched an idea and two production companies jumped on board. Nico is taking a paycut and ownership, but all you’ll have to do is come upstairs and Nico will be right there, at least for six months.”

“Nico-chan…” Maki sat up.

Nico put her arm and pulled Maki in, Maki dropping her head to Nico’s shoulder, “We get through the tough stuff together, Maki-chan. We always have. I love you.”

“Love you.” Maki was falling asleep again. Nico would add coffee to their brunch order. Maki had to be awake enough to sneak out and catch a plane.

YAZAWA NICO TO STAR IN DOCTOR SMILE

DOCTOR NISHIKINO MAKI TAKES OVER FAMILY MEDICAL PRACTICE

If she didn’t have Nico, Maki would probably just live with a grand piano, a huge bathtub, and a couch to eat take out on, Nico thought as she sank into lavender scented steaming water.

“It’s not funny, Rin. And I don’t need weekly updates about who Nico’s kissing on the show.” Maki sounded aggravated. Nico giggled. She’d come home early from a weekend meet the fans event and snuck into Maki’s luxury tub to recover. Candles were lit, Idol music popping.

“Wait a minute, Rin. I think…” Maki’s steps sounded hasty and she was suddenly in the door of the bathroom.

Nico winked. “Hi Maki!”

Maki made a grumbly noise and turned sideways, “No, I’m okay, Rin. There’s just a surprise in my bathtub…” Maki glanced at Nico, “Rin says hi. And you have to stop using my cases, Nico-chan.”

“Did Rin say that? And who says Nico does?”

Maki glared, “Where do you even get your information?”

Nico raised a finger to her lips and winked.

“And that red wig. It’s awful. People think you’re making fun of me.” Maki listened to her phone. “Shut up, Rin.” And the phone went in her coat pocket.

“What did Rin say?”

“Nvermind.” Maki muttered.

“Maki-chan…” Nico splashed at Maki.

“No one would ever call me Dr. Smile.”

Nico guffawed, slapping water everywhere. “I miss Rin.”

“If I had Umi’s bow, I wouldn’t.”

“You love her.” Nico leaned back, watching her wife, who had flopped on the nearby chaise. “So who thinks Nico is making fun of you?”

“Papa.”

“PFfffffff…who cares.”

Maki glared, ‘“We’re trying to keep his stress levels low.”

“Red headed doctors are the best.”

“But I like your hair; it looks like you.”

“But our daughter will look like Dr. Smile.”

That threw Maki’s train of thought completely askew. The closest she could get was imagining Cotaro when she first met him with bright red hair.

“I wonder if our children will look like you? All your siblings do.”

“And they’re cute. But our children will be NicoMaki cute. I’ve seen your baby pictures, you were adorable.” Nico leaned back, smiling up at Maki. “Nico can’t wait to have a family to come home to.”

“You have me.”

“And I love it.” Nico blew lavender scented bubbles at Maki, “But you, me, the cutest children ever in the universe, and Christmas morning.”

Maki couldn’t keep the huge grin back. “I can tell them all about Santa-san.”

“But we’re not spoiling them too much.”

Maki pouted at Nico.

Nico giggled, “That’s what our parents will do.”

Maki got up, taking off her coat, sliding out of her jacket, unbuttoning her shirt halfway and slipping out of her pants. Then she sat on the edge of the tub, feet in the water, toes teasing Nico’s legs. “You’re going to tour less, right.”

“Nico’s not touring now. You’re going to cut down your hours, right, Maki-chan.”

“Just started the search for an Executive Director. And put the LGBTQ+ Health Centers proposal on the fast track.”

Nico leaned over, her chin on Maki’s thigh, “We’ve worked really hard for this.”

“We have.”

“I think Mama knows.”

Maki laughed, “It was that morning she surprised us at breakfast, wasn’t it?”

For once, Nico was the one blushing. “Nico needs…” Nico’s arm slipped under Maki’s shirt, a casual touch on Maki’s back, “more elegant pajamas for entertaining company.”

“No you don’t.”

“You like it when Nico borrows your shirt.”

“No, I love it when Nico-chan borrows my shirt.”

“Nico loves your pajamas.” Nico’s fingers started tracing patterns.

“Ha!” Keeping her cool with Nico this close had always been impossible so Maki just lowered herself into the water, pausing for a messy, wet kiss, “Let’s skip dinner.”

NISHIKINO MAKI AND YAZAWA NICO: DETAILS OF THEIR WHIRLWIND COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE

The interviewer leaned forward as Maki ran a hand through her hair. She was relaxed in a light gray Tadashi Shoji corded lace sheath dress, and confidently answered her question, “It was a long day, my eyes were so tired everything was blurry and I got in the wrong elevator. Nico had just gotten pics of the Ayase twins and we started talking about high school.”

“Talking?” Nico snorted, standing behind Maki, hands in the pockets of bright pink Victoria Beckham trousers, the matching blazer falling open, “It was all Nico’s sex appeal. Nico is irresistible.”

Maki leaned her head back, a private smile for Nico, “Nico is irresistible.”

“Is it irresponsible to take so much time off from your responsibilities to take a world tour honeymoon and then start a family?”

Nico chuckled, her hands on Maki’s shoulder, “We’ve planned carefully. And they’re our businesses. Nico never understood people working themselves to death, not taking time for family. We want to change corporate culture.”

“You’ve always been ambitious, Nico. What’s your next project?”

Nico winked, “That’s just between us.”

“No hints for our viewers, Maki?”

Nico leaned down, arms around Maki’s shoulders, whispering something in her ear. Maki’s full, flaring blush could have been a picture from high school. The interviewer laughed.

“Nice to see you two worked out the Penthouse Wars.”

“Nico is a reasonable person.”

Maki threw back her head, laughing, “Sure, that’s why.”

“Well, Nico is certainly a top…”

“Nico-chan!”

“I love you, Maki-chan.” Giggling, Nico kissed her wife’s cheek.

Nico might have been the only one to hear Maki’s muttered, “I love you, Nico-chan.” But it had always been true.

A/N: Another AU Yeah August request, it started out as Married Rivals, but I was reading a Dolly Parton songwriting book and in the songs about love chapter there were these lyrics from "Between Us":

In our love let's share a friendship between us Always close enough to talk things out Let's be honest with ourselves and each other And our love will never know mistrust or doubt

So I just started writing conversations.

#NicoMaki #Nishikino Maki #Yazawa Nico #married #married life #fluff #minor illness and angst #au yeah august

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frankendykes-monster · 3 years

Text

So probably the best way to start this is to mention the obvious and say that Joker (2019) has pretty much all of nothing to do with...The Joker. I had mention to someone else a week or two back, but for as much as The Joker can work in a wide variety of stories, the character is inherently limited, my go-to phrase being “one dimensional.” The Joker’s ongoing motivation is that he wants to defeat Batman, nothing more, nothing less. “Killing Batman” is only a single part of it, “it” being proving that Batman is fallible and has some weakness. There are characters like The Riddler that zero in on a single aspect of that such as, surely there are some problems that can be created that even The World’s Greatest Detective cannot solve, but The Joker is a convenient character in that he can be applied to any aspect of Batman’s character, which is why you get stories like Batman and The Joker getting into a surfing contest, because it all goes back to that theme of if there’s something that Batman is not the best at, Batman is ultimately doomed to fail (with regards to suspension of disbelief that is needed for superheroes to work, both creators and the audience have to commit to the concept that superheroes existing 100% makes the world around them a better place, and a major incoming failure on Batman’s part makes for greatest suspense in that it threatens that concept.)

But then, there lies the issue. Joker does not actually have any driving motivation for WHY he wants to defeat Batman, he simply is. It’s my theory on why no origin story has ever permanently stuck, because you can’t ever really make sense of that. This compounds itself into Batman and Joker’s relationship and can never really evolve, it’ll play out in the same way every time just with new set dressing. What you can do is raise the stakes, but with the back to back publishing of “The Killing Joke” and “A Death in The Family” in 1988, raising the stakes meant making The Joker a sadistic serial killer at the cost of everything else about the character, creating a Joker where everyone questions why he deserves to be alive to appear in another comic three to six months down the pipeline. There have been some instances of trying to make The Joker more nuanced, like Grant Morrison introducing the concept of “super sanity” in their Batman work and addressing how The Joker reinvents his personality on the fly, but it’s ultimately set dressing that doesn’t alter anything.

So, that begs the question of why Joker, the film, calls itself “Joker” in the first place or why it takes place in Gotham instead of New York and blah blah blah the short answer is if they didn’t, Warner Bros wouldn’t have been able to rake in a billion dollars. It’s on par with Sony deciding to make Venom (2018) and never addressing why Venom has those large white eye covers if his design isn’t based on Spider-Man, I’ll give Joker (2019) the compliment that it’s more interesting than that film at least. I really did not want to bring up all this Batman shit while watching this but then they started addressing Thomas Wayne and I began mentally groaning. I don’t want to dive into the concept of how or if the Batman mythos is impacted if you make Thomas (and Martha Wayne, who like in most Batman stories is more of a cameo than an actual character here) a shitty person, but then again I wouldn’t have to bring that up if the film didn’t cram it in in the first place. I am...SO...SO THANKFUL I did not see any memes or theories or head canons surrounding “B-B_BUH JOCKER IS BEETMANS HALF BROTHER?????/???” which...whatever. Come to think I didn't see anyone bitch that he doesnt become The Joker until 90 minutes in either. I think the majority of my goodwill (what turned it from, oh you know the good outweighs the bad enough for me to be able to tell someone this is watchable, to, oh you can skip this) was destroyed at the Waynes getting shot scene with, WHOOPS, The Joker was responsible (indirectly!) That gave me BAD Batman (1989) flashbacks, and when you remind me of Batman (1989), you kind of do get on my bad side. Fuck that movie.

SO. In the midst of ALLL of this. Let’s talk about the “““real source material”““ for Joker (2019): Taxi Driver (1976) and The King of Comedy (1982).

I don’t think I’m ruffling any feathers by saying that that is the case and that both of those films are wayyy better than Joker (2019). I mean, there’s a reason why Robert De Niro was not only cast in this film, but he’s second billed right under Joaquin Phoenix. Those are two fairly different films but they’re, at their core, stories of men who are ticking time bombs of violence ready for someone to light the fuse. It’s another point against Joker (2019), not only for reminding me of much better films, but forcing me to ask why another pastiche of this story needed to be told. Martin Scorsese kind of made his career with a monopoly on men losing their shit and everyone around them being caught in the tornado. Joker (2019) admittedly plays the material much differently, in that all the way through we are supposed to sympathize with Arthur Fleck and stand alongside him every step of this of his downward spiral, and even with where he ends up, I’ll admit I don’t have an issue with that, but the film struggles with making me care half the time. Like, yes, when Arthur is alone at home trying not to go awol, yeah, I get that, but at other times there’s stuff like how Arthur’s relationship with Sophie is never developed in any meaningful capacity, like why is enamored with him, why is she not as disturbed by him as most other people seem to be? When we discover she’s not real, that explains it from a logical perspective I guess, but it isn’t a shock or a gut punch.

Can I be real for a second? There are a lot of moments in this film where it made me embarrased as a neurodivergent person. The number of people who definitely saw this, because, once again, it made a billion dollars, and came away thinking oh so that’s what mentally ill people are like, even if they’re sympathetic about it, it makes me sigh.

Even though the crux of this film is Arthur’s descent, it desperately wants to be important. I know I’m not the first person to make this observation, but it does read like, oh, what’s popular now? Incels? Better make part of Arthur’s character arc that he can’t hit up any actual real women so he has to entertain himself with fantasies. Antifa? Better make it so Arthur accidentally inspires a movement of nebulous anti-rich people who all wear masks. And so on and so on with no actual commentary while simultaneously it’s not really world-building either because it’s so front and center to the plot. I gotta say, if the film is about people in general not putting up with things anymore after being shat on nonstop, why oh why is there a joke aimed at a little person pretty early on, even through some meta lense where “oh the person telling the joke is an asshat who dies later so it’s cool”?

Now I’m not sure what to say next about the film itself so I guess now would be a good time to discuss the film’s ~impact~ as it were. If it weren’t for Parasite (2019) I’d have no problem saying this was the biggest film of 2019 in the grand scheme of things, like EVERYONE came in with every possible perspective on this thing long before it came out. I remember how back in like, late-2017/early-2018? A bunch of people were shitting on the announcement of this film and Warner Bros had to do damage control by releasing some on-set photos of the second subway scene two days later. It’s surreal more than anything actually watching this film now and seeing, wait, this is what everyone was memeing about nonstop? This is a mainstream film? With the directions it goes in? With the topics it brings up? Well I’ll be damned. This is probably the first time since Les Miserables (2013) and Man of Steel (2013) where a movie comes out and no two people have the exact same opinion on it, so I’m curious as to how Joker is going to age in like, a decade. So fucking weird that this is called a “superhero film” in retrospect just because it shares a name with a comic book character owned by the same company that developed and distributed this.

I wouldn’t be talking about this film if it wasn’t called “Joker” but then again hey nobody else would either. I don’t hate this film despite how I’ve said nothing positive about and I was pretty prepared to call it “barely good” before the finale, so I don’t regret watching it, I don’t know what the fuck to say anymore. Gang Weed memes are pretty funny if you haven’t actually seen any in the wild. 1940: “Let’s throw him into chemicals.” 2019: “Let’s throw him into society.”

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a-walking-fandom-reference · 4 years

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Uh hey so i had a question?? Maybe you could help idk but I'm having trouble finding a stim that works right now?? I don't have any stim toys but i normally find other things that work for me and i keep flapping my hands but it's not really helping?? Idk it's very frustrating and i feel like im trapped in my skin

Hey! Sorry i didn’t respond sooner but i totally get this. I definitely have times where i super need to stim but nothing feels right or works and it’s so so frustrating. I didn’t have any stim toys either till a couple years ago and even now i just have some fidget spinners, a fidget cube, and a chew necklace. i’m gonna list some stims i do or stim with besides those and hand flapping (which i do a lot too) and hopefully it’s helpful for you. warning: this is wayyyyy too long and has way more information then you asked for but finally got those adhd meds again so i’m like oh can’t stop typing (typing stim right there).

(p.s. if you or anyone ever wants to talk or ask about neurodivergent stuff feel free to i’m always happy to talk about or help and my inbox and dms are always open)

chewing: i chew on stuff a lot to stim (even though it’s like the worst stim for my tmj) and sometimes find myself eating stuff just to move my mouth. but mostly i chew on my shirt collar a lot or just have it in my mouth a lot of the time, i also love gum and hard candies but tic tacs are my favorite but i end up eating a whole container of them when i have them because i just love chewing them. also uncooked pasta is a favorite to chew on. i also sometimes chew on pens

listening: i listen to songs, tv episodes, and podcasts on repeat a lot like a lot a lot. i don’t like quiet most of the time or not really quiet because i can hear everything around me all the time but like i don’t really like that either so. i listen to my brother my brother and me like 24/7 i’ve listened to all the podcast episodes? like way too many times, i also listen to bojack or bob’s burgers a lot because i’ve also seen the episodes so many times i know exactly what’s happening in every scene, the music i listen to on repeat is either a single song or an album, so show yourself, rewrite the stars, words fail, etc or frozen ii, jatp, dear evan hansen albums. i also cover and uncover my ears a lot because i like the noise.

touching: i love feeling stuff mostly soft stuff so petting my cats or rabbit, feeling blankets, holding and rubbing stuffed animals

smell: i’m super sensitive to like 95% of smells but the smells i do like i can smell for hours and are big stim i’ve been doing for a long time specifically laundry detergent so i put my shirt over my nose a lot also my haunted mansion themed body wash is my favorite scent ever and so i just smell that and it really calms me

vocal: i don’t talk a lot i’m a fairly quiet person and could and have gone days without speaking but i can be loud and talkative when hyper or infodumping and have always stimmed a lot vocally. i hum a lot or just make noises or beats, i have a kind of odd vocal stim where i just kind of sing old mcdonald randomly (i don’t know why but i’ve done it for a while) and also echolalia, a lot of them are just weird and everyone around me is like please stop saying, “it’s not just food, it’s fourth meal” but i love echolalia i think it’s a super cool thing autistics do!

body stims/stuff with my hands: i rub my hands together, crack my knuckles, clap, drum with my hands on anything and everything (i was a percussionist in middle school band and have always loved the drums so) i also use pencils/chopsticks/paint brushes or anything and drum on tables or just air drum with imaginary drumsticks. i twirl my hair a lot and now that it’s longer i do little braids braiding is such a nice stim. i also do body stims that aren’t good for my joint hypermobility but like i just need to do them sometimes, such as doing circles with my wrist or ankle or hyperextending my elbow. one of my favorite stims i do and one i do mostly in public because i need room (and since covid and like barely ever leaving my house when i do go out i do it a lot) is i kind of jump up and lift one leg in the air and clap under my leg. that probably sounds weird and like it kind of is but whatever stims can be weird and that’s great! i also rock back and forth on my heals a lot.

visual: i’m not a person that gets into a lot of like stimboards and stuff because a lot of stim gifs aren’t stuff i like but my favorite stim gifs or videos are calligraphy writing ones, cooking/cake decorating, nail painting, and just food recipe videos. sometimes i’ll just end up in a wormhole on pinterest of food recipe vids, like they are never foods i could actually eat or ever need the recipe for but i just love watching them (except meat heavy ones i just don’t like looking at meat). also i love watching fandom video edits on instagram i have like a bajillion saved and watch them all the time. i also love love watching gifs of characters stimming and sometimes just go through my autistic collection to watch these gifs for hours.

random stims: one of biggest stims is playing with toy cars and toy skateboards. i just kind of roll them on my arms/hands/legs or tables. i actually take a mcdonald’s clone wars anakin skateboard toy like everywhere with me, and i love it i found it at my gramma’s house years ago and it’s become like a comfort item at this point and of course because of adhd i lose everything i touch so before i leave the house i’m always like where is my anakin skywalker skateboard. i also have a lightning mcqueen car that was my comfort stim toy before anakin and i still take him a lot of places too. i also love wear rings to stim with, i don’t have any like spinning rings or anything yet but i just like twisting them on my finger a lot, my favorite to do that with is my great grandmother’s spoon ring it’s the perfect thing to twist and i love it. i also like pressure stims sometimes if my body can handle it like putting couch cushions on me or my weighted blanket. i also just play with my pop socket a lot and use it so much i broke the top of it off but i don’t know what i would do without it.

sorry that was way too long and way too much information and i don’t even know if any of that was helpful at all but i really hope something was or it gave you an idea for a different stim. like i said before you can literally ask me about anything especially neurodivergent stuff.

#rey suprisingly gets an ask #rey actually speaks #actually autistic #stimming #actually adhd #food mention #coronavirus cw #long post

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thanksjro · 4 years

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Eugenesis, Part Six Scene Six: Jolup Sinks Rewind’s Ship

You sure as shit have, sugarplum.

It’s time to get the down-low on everyone’s favorite severely-depressed detective.

So, hey, remember waaaaay back in Part One, when Nightbeat used his deadname to sign a report accidentally? It’s okay if you don’t, because I sure did.

God, that was ages ago, wasn’t it? Anyway, that string of numbers is his biocode, which I guess sort of functions as his social security number. So, if any of y’all wanna go ahead and steal his identity, I’m not gonna say anything.

Now, that’s a mighty low number for a Transformer. Strikingly low, even. Turns out that Nightbeat wasn’t biomorphically created, but rather cold constructed. Cold construction as a term didn’t exist within the canon when this was written- trust me, I checked. Sure, robots were built, as opposed to bursting from another’s torso like an over-microwaved hotdog, but they usually turned out like the Dinobots… that is to say, not exactly smart.

Cold construction was an experiment, trying to build Transformers outside of the messy lines of “genetics" and “family lineage”, and as it turns out, the first batch didn’t come out as expected. Or, at least, Nightbeat didn’t.

Hey there, friends. Just a head’s up, before I try to tackle this: I am, as far as I’m aware, neurotypical. With that in mind, let’s take a look at what may be an honest attempt at inclusion for a neurodivergent take on a character in a story published in 2001.

Now, some of these snippets look kind of harsh at face value, but let’s take a closer look. Everything harsh isn’t really Nightbeat putting himself down, but rather him quoting what others have said. Notice the use of quotation marks. Think back to Part One, how he was treated by his peers- they treat him like everyone else, they respect him, they trust his input. Hell, Rodimus himself wanted Nightbeat on the mission to go get Optimus from the past. Nobody who’s been in the story has tried to belittle Nightbeat for being wired differently. That’s fucking phenomenal treatment of a character like him in the early 2000’s.

I’m probably out of my depth here, but it seemed worthwhile to mention.

Anyway, back to the plot.

Right, that.

Nightbeat gets pulled out of his inner monologue when Red Alert asks if he’s okay, since he’s been staring off into space for the last little while. They’re still waiting for Optimus to show up, and everyone’s starting to get antsy. It’s hot as hell over by this collapsing wormhole, which isn’t helping them settle either.

Something finally comes up over the horizon, but you and I both know that it wouldn’t be Eugenesis if things just got on smoothly, now would it? Quantax starts firing on the team of Transformers, while he gets nervous about the wormhole still being there. He decides that if it is, he’ll jump back to this exact point in time to show himself that it is. This is a stupid plan, for a lot of reasons.

Good idea, Quantax.

While he’s trying to come up with something better, someone lands a lucky shot and takes his ship down. Trailbreaker goes to see who it is, I guess because he isn’t aware of what happened the last time a Transformer went to go see Quantax.

Oh no, he’s been turned into The Transformers The Movie Prowl!

Before anyone can try and save Trailbreaker’s stupid ass, the Quintessential Flying Fucks show up. Nightbeat’s not having it- he orders his team to take them down.

The Quintessential Flying Fucks are here for the wormhole as well, but they’ll be taking out the Autobots beforehand. While everyone else handles the Fucks, Nightbeat chases after Quantax, who just bolted for the temple.

Nightbeat catches up and tackles him to the ground, only to get himself pummeled for his efforts. As the blows rain down, Nightbeat tries to reason with Quantax that the wormhole is dangerous and shouldn’t be tampered with. Not sure why he thinks this would ever work, but alright.

Quantax, pal, do I have some friggin’ news for you.

Quantax pulls out of Nightbeat’s hold to hide in the shadows, only to jump out and slash him once he gets close enough.

I hope nothing bad happens to Muzzle here. I feel like Nightbeat really would snap if that orb got broken.

Trying to buy some time, Nightbeat tells Quantax about the futility of trying to change the past, the future, simply because it’s all already laid out, and has been from the beginning. Quantax doesn’t take the jab well, jumping out at Nightbeat again and stabbing him in the stomach, spilling his guts. Nightbeat uses the slump of his body to topple the both of them into the hole in the floor.

Outside the temple, Centurion’s wondering just how the fuck he’s still alive. Jolup’s got him by the throat, his legs have gone AWOL, and he honestly just wants to go home at this point. Jolup’s about to drop the poor guy in a conveniently-placed pool of lava, when Optimus finally shows up.

He, Thundercracker, and Astrotrain- who I’d legitimately forgotten was in this novel- are all pointing their weapons at Jolup, and demand he put the cinnamon roll down and back away slowly. It’s a sweet gesture. Too bad Centurion’s already dead, though.

With a grand, villainous flourish, he drops Centurion into the lava, where he promptly explodes, then flies off for the temple. Astrotrain pursues, as Optimus orders Thundercracker to find Nightbeat and get back to the eighties.

Sevax is in the middle of a scrape with Hound, about to be shot to death. Looks like it’s all over for this son of a gun.

Or not. Man, there goes Rewind’s weird coworker ship. Too bad, he’d already written a huge chunk of his slowburn Ultra Magnus/Hound coffeeshop AU slashfic.

Jolup tells Sevax to slap a bandaid on it and get ready to go while he goes and grabs Ryknia.

Back inside the temple, Nightbeat is clinging to Quantax like his life depends on it- because it does. They’re both hanging off the edge of a hole that’s filled with molten lava. Quantax pulls himself up with his very strong arms, just in time to stand up and immediately be shot back into the pit. Nightbeat dares to dream a dream almost too beautiful- that Optimus is here to save him, like the romance novel protagonist he is!

No such luck. It’s just the Quintessential Flying Fucks. But how did they shoot Quantax? Didn’t he make that impossible? Good thing they dragged Trailbreaker along for the ride, and also good thing he’d managed to keep hold of his gun. Loopholes are fun.

The Fucks run for the wormhole, and all Nightbeat can think to do at this point is stand in front of it and hope for the best. Or maybe the least worst, in this case.

But… but the lore!

Nightbeat gets them with the device as they go through the portal, thus wiping everything from their brains and assumedly dooming them to a short, brutal loop for the rest of time. Thus the plight of the Quintessential Flying Fucks draws to a flaccid and confusing close. I had a feeling this might happen. I was hoping it wouldn’t, though.

Thundercracker soars through the wormhole next, and Nightbeat manages to hit him with the mindpurge just as he crosses the barrier. He’s not even sure if it’s working anymore at this point.

Then Optimus gets there, and it’s time to take him back. They hold hands, click their heels three times, say “there’s no place like home”, and step into 1984. Optimus stares at the collection of almost-dead robots on the Ark, not really feeling the scene, as Nightbeat blathers on. He offers to let Optimus keep his memories of 2013, so he can try and prevent his own death. Optimus… well…

And then he gives Nightbeat a gun and tells him to shoot him until he’s basically dead. Which he does, once the guy’s had the entirety of the last few days scrubbed out of his head. There’s an actual reason for this, though I won’t lie, I kinda freaked out a little when I first got to this part. In order for Aunty to reformat Optimus into his fresh new Earth bod, he needs to be injured enough for the scans to pick up. While this is happening, we also get an explanation for why the 1984 Decepticons got reformatted too- the mindpurge dropped and rolled under the counter while Nightbeat was busy murdering his celebrity crush, and wiped the entire history of the war out of the ship’s database. Now it didn’t see Autobots and Decepticons, but rather just a whole slew of injured robots. So if we want to end prejudice, what we need to do is mindwipe our cars and then shoot our dads in the chest. Gotcha.

And then Mount St. Hilary erupts. Time to go.

Back in 2013, Astrotrain’s been reduced to being transportation, as he always is, and the team’s watching the wormhole cook the atmosphere around it from a good fifty miles away. Fun fact, the curvature of the earth makes it so that we can’t see more than eight miles in any given direction from sea-level. Even though they’re holed up in a building right now and arguably above sea-level, I can’t help but wonder just how friggin’ big Cybertron must be for them to be able to see this right now.

Genocide’s over! Time to break out the booze.

Nightbeat’s taking his sweet time, but it isn’t for a lack of trying. He’s been dodging the repair beams, trying not to kick dead people in the head as he scrambles for the portal. He gets there eventually, the wormhole now running so hot he literally bursts into flames and his eyes melt out of his head as he passes through.

There’s my macabre little man! Back to normal at last. All’s well that ends well!

The wormhole explodes as it shuts down behind him.

Hours after, things finally cool down enough for a rescue team to go try and find survivors.

Motherfuckin’-

NO.

NO, NIGHTBEAT, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED.

That’s the end of Part Six.

#transformers #jro #eugenesis #part six #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #prose writing

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airlock · 4 years

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so, folks, having put a great deal of time into staring at the dining hall menu on Fire Emblem: Three houses, I decided to attempt a fun little exercise: what if I set about putting together a list of what my dislikes, neutrals and likes from the list would be if I were attending Garreg Mach?

and see... due to my presently undiagnosed neurodivergence, I have a hypersensitive palate, as well as a hypersensitivity to textures. I have been described by sufficiently rude people as “difficult to feed”. if y’all have seen and remember that one post where you tally up everything you would eat and get a higher score the less of a picky eater you are, well, I scored like a two or a four on that. so, y’know... this is going to be fun y’all

The Wretched Food Sins (dislikes)

Beast Meat Teppanyaki, Pickled Rabbit Skewers, Gronder Meat Skewers, Garreg Mach Meat Pie

see, I’m just going to get this one out of the way immediately: I don’t like red meat. when I tell people that, their first assumption is usually that I’m a vegan or avoiding the shitload of growth hormones or whatever, but no, I still eat some other types of meat and health is obviously not a priority in my diet; I just find that red meat tastes and feels something awful. we clear? we clear.

Onion Gratin Soup

(Onions stewed with white trout and baked with a layer of cheese on top. Will warm you up from the inside out.)

onions I’m also not very fond of. when they’re used for flavor, they’re normally used in small enough amounts to be safely ignored, but here it seems that the idea is to eat whole baked onions off a soup, like... is that a thing that human people do with the single lives that they have??

Country-Style Red Turnip Plate

(A balanced meal including red turnip and verona stew, red turnip salad, and sautéed red turnip with garlic.)

just not sure about this one; I mean, it’s not that I actually recall ever eating a turnip, or that a “verona” is a real vegetable that I can compare to any extant thing... I just don’t think I’ve ever had a good time attempting to eat a plateful of vegetables and I don’t have much faith that the monastery cantina is breaking new ground there

Vegetable Stir-Fry

(A dish of dried tomatoes, cabbage, chickpeas and other vegetables, stir-fried with egg. Nutritious and very filling.)

I might just be mixing up terms, but if I understand correctly, I’ve never heard of stir-frying before. it sounds like a cool thing, though! I do love the the idea of using egg as a base for this, too! it’s a pity that they then proceed to pick nothing but ass ingredients for the entire rest of this particular recipe

Fish and Bean Soup

(A soup made by simmering white trout and chickpeas. A simple yet wholesome dish.)

sorry, head chef, beans are a horrific mouthfeel and you cannot and will not convince me that a dish featuring them is uwu wholesome

Pickled Seafood and Vegetables

(A Dagdan dish of raw fish and turns pickled in a vinegar-based seasoning liquid. Rarely eaten in Fódlan.)

so, I’ve actually had the idea for this post quite a ways ago, and one of the very first things I had in mind was the precise burn I was going to deliver unto the smell of vinegar. right? thing is, it’s been so long since then that the anedocte I was going to use as a delivery vector for that burn has since taken a dark turn. it won’t really be worth the while to unpack it at this point, so I’ll just skip to the punchline: the smell of vinegar is indistinguishable from the smell of dog piss

Cabbage and Herring Stew

(Cabbage and Albinean Herring stewed whole. The fish guts lend this hearty dish a superbly bitter kick.)

ew, what the hell? what sort of florida man recipe is this? “oh, let’s stew some fish, but make sure the entirety of its intestines are stewing in there so that the final product can punch you in the mouth with bitterness”. what? who’s that supposed to appeal to? I can understand this being one of Hubert’s favorite meals but why would absolutely anyone else do this to themselves? and it’s with this demon fodder here that we finish the hell section on an absolutely burning note and proceed to...

The Purgatory of Eh, I Guess, Maybe (neutral)

Pheasant Roast with Berry Sauce

(Well-roasted Fódlan pheasant drizzled with a berry reduction sauce.)

we’re getting somewhere; poultry is like, 80% of the protein in my diet, and sweetness is precisely the only flavor I can tolerate in major excess. alas, in gastronomy, one plus one doesn’t always make two; I’m not sure this combination here works or just clashes frontally

Vegetable Pasta Salad

(Pasta with a blend of fresh vegetables from various regions of Fódlan. This popular dish sells out almost instantly.)

we’re out of the hated food list, but that doesn’t mean you’re safe yet from listening to me maw about foods that are supposed to be super common!

you know how I prefer to take my pasta? over water, butter or olive oil with absolutely no sauce. additional seasoning also needs not apply, although salt is welcome. fun fact: my ideal instant noodle is cooked with only a small amount of flavoring powder. so yeah, there you have it, that’s the “hey guys I eat bread with nothing in it and have a good time” moment of the jour

but back to the point -- how does this particular pasta measure up? well, I took a look at the in-game model of it and it appears to pass the most important bar: no sauce -- or, at least, if there was any, it was thick and yellow and it made a fool of me. anyways, I might not particularly dig some of the vegetables thrust into the pasta here, but the beauty of it is that I can probably pick and choose which ones I will actually eat, which makes this a solid ehhh it’s solvable

Fruit and Herring Tart

(A baked tart with stewed herring and Noa fruit mixed into the batter. Popular in Enbarr, the Imperial Capital.)

again, I don’t object to the components but I’m not sure about it all adds together. is that a real thing, like, putting a god damn fish into your fruit pie mix?

Fish Sandwich

(A simple dish. Airmid Cabbage is pickled in vinegar and served with cabbage between two slices of bread.)

a fish sandwich plain and simple, I would happily chow down; fish is the other one of my acceptable meats, after all. thing is, as non-domestic sandwiches usually do, this one comes with a bunch of add-ons that I absolutely do not want and it’s hard to tell how much can be salvaged. like, there’s old man vinegar/piss again, and besides, I swear I’ve eaten leaves off the ground that had better texture than cabbage. so, like, can we go even simpler, head chef? bread, fish, and no wicked ideas?

Spicy Fish and Turnip Stew

(Spicy stew made with Teutates loach and turnips. The monastery’s unique recipe features spices from Dagda.)

come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a stew. if it’s very much like a soup, then it might have as much of an annoying texture as one, but if it’s just a soggy filet, then that might work out. anyway, between that and the non-specification of what those spices from Dagda are intended to do with the recipe, I’d have to taste it to believe it

Super-Spicy Fish Dango

(A light snack, popular in the Empire. Small, spicy balls of fried dough packed with white trout and dried tomato.)

ugh, that was so close. fried dough and fish sounds AMAZING, it really does. but the first strike here is “super-spicy”; I did mention having a hypersensitive palate, yes? now add that to the fact that I’m white. the real crushing sin here, however, is the inclusion of fucking tomato. we were so close to greatness! we were this close! anyways, depending on how exactly the dried tomato is meant to be implemented here, it might be possible to just pull it out with a fork and accept the mouth-hurting substances in a bid to have a good time anyway

Sweet and Salty Whitefish Sauté

(Whitefish is coated in spices and sautéed with dried tomatoes to bring out an addictive salty-sweet flavor.)

tomatoes again! seriously, you creeps keep throwing that in with one of my sole acceptable approaches to meat! although fortunately, I gather that, with this one, the goal is not for the tomatoes to be eaten, just popped on the juice that this fish is jumping around in while it roasts, so maybe there’s salvation for it yet... I do want to find out whatever in the world an “addictive salty-sweet flavor” is supposed to mean, admittedly

Sautéed Pheasant and Eggs

(Thin slices of bird meat and shredded cabbage, mixed with scrambled eggs and sautéed with spices. Invention of a certain noble.)

again, we broke it right at the finish line. I like the idea of a pile of chicken strips and scrambled eggs; would have some fun digging through it and all. alas, Alfred von Certain Noble had to go and throw cabbage into the mix. at least, maybe, if it’s shredded, then the awful texture is eliminated and that makes it straight-up just eating some leaf? it might be sufficiently non-intrusive

Gautier Cheese Gratin

(A gratin of bird meat topped with heaps of Gautier cheese, which is famous for its low fat content. It has a unique flavor.)

I... do I want to know what “unique flavor” this is? because chicken gratined with cheese sounds good, but you could potentially go wrong with the type of cheese, and the fact that this apparently counts as a bitter dish doesn’t leave me particularly hopeful...

Small Fish Skewers

(Made by grilling skewered Airmid gobies. With a muddy flavor and dry texture, this dish is beloved by few.)

okay, yeah, “muddy flavor and dry texture” isn’t exactly the sales pitch of the year, but these sound like reasonably ignorable things in favor of what would just be grilled fish on a skewer with no more of those terrible nonsense ideas like adding some fucking tomato

Fried Crayfish

(Fried and breaded Caledonian crayfish. Looks much tastier than it actually is.)

looks are all we have to go by here, but besides that, intsys, you’ll have a lot of labor to do if you want to convince me that a fried and breaded anything isn’t good if it’s not, like, inherently ass as an ingredient. what keeps this one from reaching the heavens is most likely not the taste or the feel itself, but mostly just the fact that I’m probably allergic to shrimp

The Blessed And Divine (likes)

Saghert and Cream

(A baked confection coated with Noa fruit cream and a currant reduction, often enjoyed as a dessert at family gatherings.)

first, I have to get this much out of the way: does anyone know what the hell a saghert even is? cursory searching has only led me to results about Fire Emblem, so it might be a made-up word altogether...

... that said, the aforementioned cursory searching has also brought me to this blog where I got to see someone’s idea of what the thing would be in real life, and the result is definitely something I’d want in my mouth, stomach, and soul, so there we go!

Sweet Bun Trio

(Traditional pastries from Faerghus, known for their subtle sweetness. The dough is made with eggs and sugar.)

is this supposed to be like sweetbread or like, dumplings, which might actually be made with eggs and sugar...? oh, who am I kidding, I’d scarf the hell out of either one. and hey, no need to be subtle with the sweetness, either!

Peach Sorbet

(A sorbet made with thin slides of magically frozen peach, dusted with bean flour.)

o, ice cream... I have a rather layered relationship with that one. I’m never one to turn down plain desserts, least of all when tradition also permits me to dump six layers of whatever the hell else to (sweetly) spice it up, but the hypersensitivity in my mouth also extends to temperatures, and ice cream is normally and understandably served in very low ones. I usually try eating when it’s, like, nearly melting or already melting... but is that even on the table if we’re talking about pre-refrigeration ice cream made with very strangely applied magic? thoughts to mull over. but I won’t let them get in the way of yum, ice cream

Daphnel Stew

(Minced poultry and onions boiled with salt. The simple recipe lets high-quality ingredients speak for themselves.)

simplicity goes a long way, as usual! again, I have no idea how a stew tastes, but again, poultry is pretty much the backbone of my diet, and I suppose it doesn’t sound objectionable to take it soaked in saltwater. at least, if I’m presuming that the onions are there for flavoring the stock and not once more for the absurd suggestion that I should be eating them whole

Deirdriu-Style Fried Pheasant

(Pheasant meat pounded flat and fried. Can be served as a sort of sandwich, with cheese between two strips of meat.)

holy shit this sounds great. like, I want this in real life, especially the whole pseudo-sandwich arrangement. I’m optimistically assuming that we’re picking a decent type of cheese and not, like, cheddar, but that's really the only possible stumbling block

Grilled Herring

(Herring caught off the coast of Albinea, shredded and grilled in an earthenware pot with sliced turnips.)

I’ve expressed not being familiar with the taste of turnips, but even if I hate those too, it sounds like it’s pretty easy to ignore them here in favor of what’s just some shredded and grilled fish, which hits the spot

Fisherman’s Bounty

(Freshly-caught fish are cut into chunks and stewed together to make this hearty dish.)

right, so I’m not actually 100% sure about this one, if only because the model of the dish appears to contain some unidentifiable bits of disgusting red whatever, but if the description alone covers it, this just seems to be plain and nice

Two-Fish Sauté

(Two types of fish are cut into strips and sautéed in butter. This lavish meal hails from Enbarr, the Imperial Capital.)

and this sounds similarly plain and nice, but also even better, because the sautéeing in butter sounds like a great addition. now we’re finally on the right track with regards to fish meals! keep the red devil testicle fruits away from those!

Bourgeois Pike

(A gourmet dish with Airmid Pike, vegetables, and a sprinkle of expensive spices. Popular among nobles.)

the punchline writes itself, doesn’t it? but don’t get me wrong -- while I haven’t grown up wanting for money, being bourgeoisie is just what my family wishes were the case.

as for the meal itself: the in-game model appears to be just fish filet, served without any gross sauce, so I’ll happily take it, as long as this “sprinkle of expensive spices” isn’t doing anything too janky in there. ... but hey, most expensive things exist primarily for the purpose of being janky, so maybe I’m being too optimistic

Sautéed Jerky

(Jerky aged in the monastery and sautéed for a delightfully salty flavor. A perfect snack to go with your favorite drink.)

my first instinct was to throw this right onto the undesirable meat section because it’s jerky, but apparently, this is poultry jerky? I’ve never heard of such a thing existing, but I need to try it sometime. for now, I’ll just assume it’s as good as it sounds

so, there you have it! it seems that quite a bit more of this menu is edible than I would have expected? or perhaps I’m just being very optimistic, since I’m not face-to-face with whatever offputting smells and textures I could potentially be dealing with here

#my stupid text posts #Fire Emblem is tagged in this post #Fódlan FE is tagged in this post

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babysfirstpentagram · 3 years

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Tips for the New Witches!

Hi, are you a new witch? Great, I’m your parent now so buckle in. Here are some tips I wish I knew before I started witchcraft, which you probably haven’t heard before.

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1. Please.. please for the love of any god out there, learn about nature. Buy a book on editable plants, local fungi, animal guides, anything like that. Read it, learn it, absorb the information. If you want to be a green witch, a cottage witch, or any other witch that spends long hours outside, hiking, anything, please learn about your local flora and fauna. It’s fun, its helpful, and hey! you might even learn that something right in your front yard is okay to eat. (side note: please don't just eat plants straight off the ground. take them home and wash them. This removes pesticides, bugs, and just general grossness. And NEVER take more than you need. Thank the earth)

4. Literally anything can be cleansed and charged with energy. If you can’t afford that really pretty rose quartz you saw in the metaphysical shop, just go outside and pick up a rock. If you're feeling extra spicy, you can paint it pink to help. Boom, you now have a self love rock, you gorgeous goblin.

6. Not everything is a sign. Things happen, its not the universe trying to get ahold of you. HOWEVER if it happens like more then three times, I would start taking note of it.

10. You don’t need anything to be a witch, but its always nice to have selenite, anything white or black, rosemary, and salt on you for protection and basic spell work.

11. For all my neurodivergent witches: PLEASE BRING YOUR HYPERFIXATIONS, COMFORT CHARACTERS, AND SPECIAL INTERESTS INTO YOUR CRAFT!! You can study popculture witchcraft and literally work with your characters. This can go for anything. And if anyone wants to give you shit for doing it, you can sent them to me.

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To close out, I just want to say I love you all. You're wonderful and amazing. Take a breath, you’ve got this

#broomcloset #beginner witch #baby witch #strategies & tips #baby witch tips #elements #cheat sheet #part one #more to come #asks are open

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gloriousmonsters · 7 years

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said it on twitter & i’m gonna say it here: if you want to write anything examining villains, making them main characters, saying ‘maybe they have a point’, whatever:

don’t fucking sanitize them. and I mean that in two ways. One, every time I see someone decide to write a villain as a protagonist instead, or someone who would usually be cast as a villain, they immediately try to make whatever they’re doing as non-bad as possible - oh, they never really hurt anyone, they have noble reasons for everything, they had special knowledge that made what they did OK. And sometimes this isn’t so bad, except it almost immediately segues into (2) making them likeable/cool/not so bad means making them neurotypical and abled and generally Normal.

like, I read a short story supposed to be from the POV of a henchman in a please-don’t-sue-us-DC but definitely Batman universe. the only thing noted is the baby-level Tumblr post objection of ‘but if Batman’s RICH... why can’t he just solve all the problems in Gotham with money? check and mate!’. and this could be a valid point to make. except. except. here’s the thing about comics where Batman is an asshat, because there absolutely are ones (tho that is definitely not my Batman). he’s occasionally shitty about class stuff, poor people are only used as misery porn or are villains. that’s an issue. but here’s the thing.

What really distinguishes the shitty!Batman stories is the ableism. Because the Rogues are, to an overwhelming majority, mentally ill. A number of them physically disabled. and in shitty!Batman comics, you have mentally ill people mocked, demonized - literally compared to/called demons, on multiple occasions - accused of faking their insanity, or it ‘not affecting anything’, told they should have been killed long ago. they’re either depicted as sources of disgust and fear due to their evil, icky mental illness, or slimy bastards who are manipulating a too-soft system (that regularly beats them to a pulp and imprisons them indefinitely in dehumanizing conditions) by LYING about being mentally ill when they’re just CRAZY WITH EVIL. did we mention they’re evil? oh, and the only people who ever claim ‘police brutality’ or complain about being beaten up are also crazy and/or evil. it’s essentially the same thing, right?

shitty!Batman stories drip with physical ableism too - to die is not such a big thing. to be confined to a wheelchair? horror, disgust. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN. how can anyone LIVE like that? panels linger with delight on Two-Face’s scarred side, drool over how ugly it is. how repulsive! don’t worry, it’s ok to say that because he’s EVIL. and a shitty comic or two have told us exactly what a good disabled person is like - they shut up, fend for themselves, and definitely don’t want any handouts. and they never get angry when people stare and point. also, they’re generally white and heterosexual and want to form nuclear families, but that’s par for the course. that’s normal.

in the story I read, two villains are vaguely mentioned. one, I couldn’t figure out who it was supposed to be. one was a poor man’s Mr. Freeze. The poor man’s Mr. Freeze no longer had a wife he was trying to cure, or wanted revenge - he only worried about proper things, like how the city was run. neither of them are crazy, of course. the ‘one who was scarred with acid’ is only mentioned offstage. no word on whether he’s also been cured of his crazy. we’re assured that our narrator, the henchman, is not crazy. thank goodness! for a moment I thought

well, I thought a story that came up all smug, acting like it was the first one to say ‘but what if the Villains were good and the Heroes bad...’ would actually say something with teeth. wouldn’t frantically paint over the villains, erase their insanity and their queercoding and their general messiness. would instead say: hey, even if you’re not a good person, you deserve to be treated for your mental illness, to be treated with a certain amount of respect for your humanity. hey, maybe mentally ill people, people with scarred faces, are human. maybe just ‘cause this black guy has some kind of crocodile mutation going on doesn’t make it OK to hurl insults at him about his subhuman intellect, about how he’s basically an animal. because that was also a problem, y’know.

I think this post is getting away from me. And there’s still reams more to say, because as some blogger whose url I can’t recall stated: ‘complaining about ableism in Batman stories is like complaining about water in the ocean, I know...’ and yet people keep on looking at these stories and saying, ‘not only are we going to reject the stories where the hero is kind, where he tries to understand, where he is also neurodivergent and simply at one point on a spectrum of messed up people reacting to this dark little world, but when we take that from you - when we choose to only remember the moments he’s written worst - we are also going to take away the villains.’ it’s the same ugly sting as the people who talk about the horrors of old asylums, and say, in hushed horrified tones, you know - sane people got put in there!

if you’re going to write about villains, don’t strip away what got them called villains in the first place. fucking deal with it, or keep your hands off them.

#villainy #long post #this became way bigger than i anticipated but i think i've just reached... a Point #i'm fed up #batman

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