billy sighs. rests his forehead against the cool metal of his locker. tries to ignore the hum of people talking around him. holding hands. cuddling. it’s a shitty day. it’s a shitty day and billy knew it was going to be a shitty day before it even started.
he knew because he had been the one to say it. yesterday. to tell steve that they’re not- that billy doesn’t need to be treated like a fucking girl. that they’re just screwing around. that he doesn’t give a shit if steve wants to fuck someone else today.
that steve might as well go crawling back to wheeler because billy sure as shit can’t hold his hand or call him sweetheart in the hallways. that he gets enough heat at home without the whole of hawkins high knowing how much of a queer billy hargrove is.
and then billy had walked off. slammed the door behind him and gone home. had picked a fight with neil just to top it off.
all because he was scared.
is scared. scared of steve harrington with his preppy fuckin’ polos and dumb hair. his pretty eyes and pretty smile and ability to tilt billy’s world on its axis just by looking at him. scared that steve will get bored of him. that he’ll realise billy isn’t worth the effort.
scared.
billy sighs again. shuffles back slightly and glares down as he twists the lock. the door swings open and billy is halfway to grabbing the book he needs when something falls out. a scrap of paper. no bigger than the palm of his hand. a note.
it lands on billy’s boot.
he looks around. wonders who had felt brave enough- dumb enough to shove a note through billy’s locker on a day like today. he bends down. picks it up. reads the words in front of him.
quarry, 9.
there’s a little heart scribbled on the top right hand corner. billy traces the familiar writing with a thumb. feels that all too familiar feeling in his chest. he clenches his fist. hears the crinkle of paper as he does.
then he looks up again. into his locker. really looks, this time.
a pack of marlboro reds lay on top of his books. unopened. new.
next to those, something smaller. candy, billy realises. a sweetheart, specifically. the words kiss me etched in pink.
billy smiles. can’t help it, really. it’s restrained. barely there. just a small twitch of his lips but a smile nonetheless. his first smile of the day. credit to steve fuckin’ harrington and his inability to leave well alone.
billy smooths the note out. places it next to the reds. next to the heart. tries to tamp down on the butterflies swarming in his chest. he takes a deep breath before stuffing the cigarettes and note into his pocket.
his hand hovers over the sweetheart.
“hey.”
billy pulls his hand back. fast. as if he’d been burned. he looks to his left. locks eyes with the boy now standing next to him. feels his heart stutter. “hey.”
steve gives him a knowing smile. “good day?”
“no.” billy frowns. you already knew that. “pretty shitty actually.”
steve leans. folds his arms. “that bad, huh?”
better now that you’re here. billy swallows. turns away from steve. back to his locker. “did you want something, harrington?”
“nah, just..” steve smirks. reaches out. billy feels his breath hitch. steve’s smile gets wider. he flicks billy’s earring. once. before turning on his heel with a see you around thrown billy’s way.
a promise. something deeper to them but. casual. friendly to anyone watching.
billy watches him leave. wonders if steve might be okay with them having to do things differently. wonders if this might be enough for steve. for them. wonders if he could be enough for steve. hopes-
billy jumps when the bell rings.
-
they meet up later. at the quarry like steve had said. neil under the assumption that billy’s seeing some girl. steve’s parents likely thinking the same.
billy feels as though a weight has been lifted as soon him and steve tumble into the back of the beemer. all cold hands and fumbling with belts. awkward limbs and steamed up windows. and billy lets it happen. lets himself be held. lets steve be sweet to him.
billy lets it happen. finds himself thinking that today might not be all bad. and that he might be more than a little bit in love with steve harrington. he pushes the second thought down. focuses on winding a hand into steve’s hair and sucking a mark into the soft skin just below his jaw, instead.
not all bad.
-
later finds them huddled under a blanket in the back of steve's beemer. sharing a cigarette. marlboro. red. steve nudges billy after a few minutes. doesn't say anything just. nudges him. billy tilts his head to the side. gives steve a look. steve just looks down as his hand finds billy's under the blanket.
then he presses something small into the palm of billy’s hand.
billy raises an eyebrow in question but steve’s already looking away. staring out into the night. cigarette glowing in the dark. billy rolls his eyes. wiggles his arm free and holds the object up to the window to get a better look.
be mine.
he laughs. loudly. tries to hide the racing of his heart. calls steve a fuckin' cheese. and a sweetheart. waits until steve turns to face him again before pressing the candy to steve's lips and pulling him in to exchange kisses that are almost too soft. too sweet for whatever this is. whatever they agreed for this to be.
steve pulls back first. whispers against billy’s lips “hey, baby?”
“yeah?”
“happy valentine’s day.”
“…yeah.”
almost.
steve grins and reaches out to play with one of billy’s curls. billy laces their fingers together under the blanket.
Eddie’s alive, just stuck in the Upside Down, but he doesn’t go to Dustin or Mike or Lucas—oh, no. And not even Steve, either, no matter how much he respects the dude.
Nah, Eddie traverses the woods of the Upside Down, knows where that old beat up truck sits that he and Wayne found a few months ago during season that they fixed up with the blessing of the landowner, and waits for his uncle there.
Eddie’s trailer is fucked and he knows Wayne doesn’t have the money to afford a hotel room, so he sits in that truck in the woods, shivering and bleeding and singing songs to keep himself awake, and waits until Wayne turns it on.
And when he does in a few hours, Springsteen’s faintly heard and Eddie laughs because he loves his uncle, adores the man and he wishes he told him more of that when he had the chance, but he’s determined he’ll have more time later, he just has to get out of this hellish place first, and so he starts talking.
It startles Wayne at first, swears and yells flying, and then there’s tears shared between them, so close and yet so far apart. Eddie explains what he can, pressing his hands into his wounds in hopes of slowing the bleeding, and he tells Wayne to hurry with an aborted, “I love you.”
Wayne hurries. He fishes his rifle out from beneath his seat and thinks—about the kids who joined Eddie's club, about the band kid and the kid with the questions and the other kid, too, with soft brown eyes and a sad smile when he ducked his head in acknowledgment—and takes off.
He finds Harrington’s house, knocks on the door until the kid comes running. He slings it wide, revealing himself and the band kid and Henderson, Wayne thinks, who's momma is sweet and kind at the diner, and says, “My nephew is alive. Let’s go get him.”
And he didn’t know what he expected from this kid—if he thought he’d get directions or what—but he’s surprised when Harrington nods, slips on some shoes, and follows him outside to his truck where Eddie's voice is still coming through the radio.
Harrington says hi, a broken sort of thing, and promises they’re on the way, for him to just stay where he’s at, and Eddie giggles, says, “My knight in shining armor,” because he's always been romantic, and Harrington goes red and says, “Goddamn right I am,” and Wayne listens to Eddie's laughter the whole way to the portal that takes them to the other world.
It's dark and ugly and dead, but they find Eddie fast. He’s bleeding out, blubbering as soon as he sees Wayne and Steve—“Call me Steve, please.”—and it takes both of them to carry Eddie up and out of that shithole dimension.
They take him to the hospital, Eddie resting in Steve's arms the whole way, and as soon as Eddie's taken back and stabilized, Wayne and Steve collapse in the hallway. They’re quiet when they do it, but Steve's tears are hot and Wayne’s grip is tight and they hold one another close. They ask a nurse for an extra bed in Eddie's room; she’s reluctant but she does it anyway when Steve asks nicely.
Wayne and Steve camp Eddie's room as he rests, talking quietly and getting to know one another better and sharing stories of Eddie. soon, Wayne passes out in the recliner—helps his back if he sleeps upright since those discs have been deteriorating—and wakes up a few hours later to see the extra bed unused.
Steve’s crawled up into Eddie's bed with him, nestled close and tight, and they’re both awake, faces turned toward one another as they giggle and whisper and chuckle, but Wayne can’t hear them and he thinks that’s okay.
He rests some more, content to listen to the soft sounds of his boys—his boys, ‘cause Harrington is his now; a decision he made when he saw the darkness in the kid's eyes that reminds him so much of his own shit—lull him to sleep.
That is, until one Dustin Henderson hears the news that Eddie's alive and safe and recovering. He causes a ruckus and a half, and the hospital staff is in shambles, and Wayne laughs because he might just have to make Dustin one of his own, too.
My top songs (of the first half) of 2023
✦ Boys Planet edition ✦
tagged by @lunetual @jikyu @leewonseo @lee-minhoe ty 💕
I've listened to over 300 new releases from over 100 different kpop artists this year so picking my top songs felt like an mnet-level survival show 😭 the irony that i never watched Boys Planet AND one of the songs is literally a Peak Time song is not lost on me ! 🙃 but i wanted to pick a trendy format so here we are 😈 anyways i included albums instead of songs that didn't make the cut since there's too many honorable mention songs that i have had on repeat this year 😭 but most of them are in these 22 albums (oo-li is on here twice and istj isn't out yet !)
if u like my gif template, here's the link ! pls credit me ty <3
tagging (no obligation ofc and if you've already posted will u tag/send me so i can see 🥺): @bahngentertainment @chrisbangs @coupsnim @dakbees @dive-in-the-blue @hannahbahng @hyunfelix @ingblr-s @jinniebit @kyubins @losergirlz @quokki @shorelinnes @starcatching @userjiung @userwoodz @wabisaba @woodziecup @yohanblr + anyone else who wants to share just say that i tagged u <3
Ok sooo, I can’t stop thinking about the line from this post [here] by @swordfright , “Sam is a builder and dream is the ultimate engineering project: challenging (psychologically taxing to guard), important (to the stability of the server), rewarding (on those sporadic occasions when dream obeys him without question), and ceaseless (because the ideal prisoner always needs a warden to keep them in line.)” Because the idea that Dream is Sam’s “ultimate engineering project” really got me thinking about the definition of the duties of an engineer as per the Code of Ethics, which I studied in college.
As an engineer it is basically our responsibility to maintain sustainable development, which The National Society of Professional Engineers (NSPE) defines [here] in the Code of Ethics as, “meeting human needs for natural resources, industrial products, energy, food, transportation, shelter, and effective waste management while conserving and protecting environmental quality and the natural resource base essential for future development.” Even further, as a civil engineer (which I am and Sam is as a primary builder) it is our job to help provide the infrastructure and necessities to life, (shelter, water and by extension food +) with civil engineering encompassing the engineering fields of Structural (bridges, buildings, dams… etc), Utilities (power, gas, water, waste water… etc), Geotechnical (analyze and maintain that the ground can support projects), Environmental (protecting the stability of the environment like for example protecting the habitat of an endangered species), Transportation (roads for cars, train tracks, airplane runways… etc). Pretty much the necessities of civilization (lol hence civil). And I found this interesting because it is Sam’s job as the warden to provide the fundamental and basic necessities of Dream’s life in every way. So, in this way Dream would actually be the society Sam’s engineering is meant to benefit from and depends on (which he obviously denies and uses to abuse.)
But on the other side, interestingly a 2004 definition, [found here] of civil engineering based on Thomas Tredgold’s 1828 original is, “the art of working with the great sources of power in nature for the use and benefit of society”. And oh, the use of power here could very well be a good representation of Dream, making him actually the engineering project. Further, The NSPE Code of Ethics states, “Engineering has a direct and vital impact on the quality of life for all people. Accordingly, the services provided by engineers require honesty, impartiality, fairness, and equity, and must be dedicated to the protection of the public health, safety, and welfare.” In this sense, Sam’s position as the warden was dedicated to the protection of the public health, safety, and welfare, which by keeping Dream locked up, weakening him physically and mentally he was in essence trying to protect the server as well as working to strip the sources of power Dream had over everyone. And when his methods didn’t work, he let Quackity in, which funnily enough goes along with one of the The Institute of Industrial and Systems Engineers (IISS)’s summarizing stated [here] fundamental canons, “Engineers shall perform services only in the areas of their competence.” And clearly Sam was not competent in getting the book from Dream, so he teams up with Quackity, his contractor, to finish the project as is typical in the engineering industry.
All this to say, that Sam as an engineer, while not sworn to follow a defined of code ethics still followed the general defined duties of engineering and strived to work for the betterment of the server. A personality and behavior, that Dream saw in him as they grew as friends and worked to build the prison - Sam’s passion for helping, to provide for and develop the necessities of society. His passion for wanting to use his skills to improve the world and help people. His strong principles of dependability, efficiency, justice, work ethic. If Sam was given a job to help people he was going to see it through to the best of his ability. He would not abandon his post, he would protect and serve the common good. - His strong engineering attitude made him a good choice in Dream’s mind for the warden, because of these qualities, which makes sense. What Dream did not realize is that he was not included in the society and all people Sam felt obligated to serve and provide for.
Instead, Dream was but a resource of power - the revival book - needing to be made efficient and accessible, so that everyone could benefit and share that power. Dream thought he’d be provided for and taken care of, but he was the project instead. Sam’s “ultimate engineering project” he deemed too damaged like a bumpy road or crumbling building that wasn’t worthy of patching and filling in the cracks or reinforcing, that’s too eroded to be fixed and preserved. So, Sam strived to tear him down to the bedrock so he could remake, remold, and reengineer Dream according to his design for the common safety, public health and well-fair. He was such a good engineer just like Dream knew he would be, he just forgot the whole teeny weeny ethics part of being an engineer that kind of comes with the job description… Oh well. ;)
There’s not a lot of Karmaland enjoyers on Tumblr, but I need everyone to see this clip of Quackity, Rubius, and Luzu in therapy anyways because I’ve never heard Quackity laugh this hard
kuukou sending this to ichiro after ichiro spent five hours crying about the death of a second romance lead in a light novel to him over the phone lmao
Some SFW Goofy / Silly HC's for Shachi!!
For my beloved @mandiemegatron - my beloved Shachi mutual <3
THESE HC ARE SFW MY BLOG IS NOT head the warnings above! Ageless blogs without 'adult' in bio will be blocked if you interact!
Goofy/Random Shachi HC's (Silly/Goofy Shachi in love at the bottom as a bonus)
Music taste alternates between heavy rock and the cringiest shit you’ve ever heard bc it made him laugh ( He and Penguin listen to bbno$ and Yung Gravy, and I think that’s hilarious - pry that one from my cold dead hands.)
LOVES puns. I mean, just look at his fucking hat!
Also loves being cheesy/cheesy stuff. Silly poses, cringe outfits, bad puns, b rated movies, tacky patterns, you name it. If it makes a normal person cringe even just a little he LOVES it! (Again.. look at his hat!)
Also likes cute stuff like Law, but not embarrassed by it (see above point) and will go overboard w it if he’s messing w Law (imagine that one post of them all going to see the barbie movie?? Pen made Law promise for them dress up for it but Shachi got the outfits ready that’s how I imagined that happening anyway )
Either super great or absolute dog shit at games. No in between. Avoids the ones he sucks at like the plague. Is a sore loser and WILL pout if he’s lost enough times (still pouts even if he only loses a little but its more subtle and he can get over it quicker lol)
His jokes/humor are also the same as his style and game talents, His jokes are usually cheesy, and either really fuckin funny or absolute cringiest shit you’ve ever heard, almost no in-between
Loves pranks. Goes without saying really
Has this uncanny knack for finding things people would be unable to decide if they like or not, like say a keychain of their fave character for example, but the character is doing some weird bizarre ooc shit or its some on the most unhinged knock off of the original they’ve ever seen
Will tell you wrong information with his whole ass chest. He believes it. He is a a bit dumbass. Himbo-y if you will. Is shocked when he realizes he is in fact wrong and thinks you’re fucking with him. Always takes a minute to convince him he’s actually wrong even though no one is ever fucking with him when they tell him he’s wrong
NOT saying he is rude or mean about it is just genuinely shocked he’s wrong what do you MEAN you’re serious that much salt doesn’t go in there you’re just trying to mess him up haha Ikaku… oh shit Ikaku was serious!! that was too much salt wtf!!
Hes always joking so he thinks everyone else is too sometimes… to his own detriment occasionally lol, always says sorry after for not taking them seriously after with an embarrassed laugh
————Silly/Goofy in Love Shachi HC’s————
Mad dumb when in love/crushing
Im talking giggly, wiggly, ramp up the funny guy act by 10 (at first, he does chill out the longer the crush lasts/the more he’s around them/the more developed the relationship is)
Mixes up words a lot and says lots of goofy shit, esp when trying to be punny AND flirty, his poor brain can’t always keep up
Heartfelt/over the top romantic, gets pretty cheesy
Cheesy is honestly core staple of his personality, you have to love laughing and having fun to be with him for sure because that’s what fills most of your days together if you’re with him
Is a tickle monster, uses it to his advantage to get more cuddles and/or kisses in And make his partner laugh
If he thinks something about him turns his partner/crush on/they like that about him will go out of his way to try and show off even after getting together. Like his arms? Will tie down the top half of his suit and claim to be hot while working.. when its super cold lol - not subtle at all, plays dumb when teased about it
Dishes it out way harder than he can take it, is a bit of a baby if teased too much- will deny at all costs. Still tells you if it was a good burn tho later on
Alls im saying is theres a reason Caleb and Beau and Keyleth were restrained and not killed when they so easily could have been despite that being the most logical thing for Ludinus to do to them.
If Matt just wanted to dramatically kill them, he would have done it on screen in front of everyone, instead of unceremoniously off-screen, but he didn’t do that, very intentionally. Theres much more story to be told.
literally wanna dieeeee I realized belatedly that not only was down bad written for me due to being an alien abduction metaphor song but it perfectly describes my situation w/my ex who dumped me 3 days into our second vacation in his country