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ladyredmoon13 · 10 months

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DCXDP prompt

The Meta Games

What originally started as a group of local teens challenging each other to see who would pay for milkshakes. Changed and grew into one of the largest sporting events the world had ever known.

The Meta Games, in the beginning, was nothing more than a town full of bored adolescents coming up with their own source of entertainment. In a place like Amity Park could you blame them?

The teens would come up with fun challenges and even obstacle courses to prove who was the best. The Games weren't even closed off to non-metas. So if you were willing to play, you could. Just don't go complaining if you got hurt.

Hell, Danny Fenton and Valerie Grey regularly take turns in the winning spot from time to time. If they could try and succeed, why not everyone else?

As the years passed the event got bigger and bigger. Blowing up into a sensation when an out-of-towner stumbled upon the event and thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen.

Soon they had sponsors, funding, and celebrity guests. Of course, then they had to make an actual rule book on how to play just to make the games official/legit. But seeing how the rules were what they were in the beginning(plus some red tape) and very easy to follow. Nobody minded.

Things were fine. That is until The Meta Games caught the Justice Leagues' attention. Contestants, both Meta and non, have gone missing at the games. No one knows where they are going and as they look deeper into the events hosted city's a worrying pattern emerged.

They were always participants but never the winners. Most had extraordinary abilities but others had athletic prowess. Add in the fact that the games were hosted in the same town every year and said town was known for its 'ghost attacks'. Then it wasn’t exactly looking good.

Even so, more information was needed. Whether they liked it or not they needed to go undercover.

_____________________

Danny looked down at the flyer in his hand and scowled. The Meta Games were in a week and he couldn't even be happy about it. To focused on the fact that one of his friends was missing.

He had told Wolf a month ago about how excited he was about participating in the last MG he could before going off to college. He had been intrigued and after Danny explained that the event was open to 'anyone' and 'everyone'.

He eagerly left to go sign up himself. That was weeks ago and there was still no sign of him. He had talked to witnesses who put him at the sign-up booth and Tucker was able to pull up footage of him entering but never leaving.

Something was wrong, and it had something to do with the games themselves. Sure they might have started out innocently enough, but now he's thinking something else saw an opportunity and corrupted them, so to speak.

Either way, he was investigating this. He's just glad that not only did he already have a cover story and his friends in the stands to have his back, but that Ember was the host for this year. Win-win, really.

Not to mention this year's thyme is pretty good. The Justice League, sounds like if would be interesting.

------------------------

Roulette looked down at all the applications on her desk and smiled. Just a few more fighters and she'll be ready to open her new brawls up in the underground. This time, bigger, better, and bloodier then they ever were.

Looking at one application in particular she smiled. One of the original contestants had signed up, a veteran if you will. One that had ended up on top more then the others. Oh Mr. Fenton, what a beautiful opportunity you are.

~So basically Roulette takes over what was a legit competition for fun and prizes and uses it to supply fighters for her illegal fights in her underground gladiator fights behind the scenes.

The League who don't know what is up with this kid and wondering just what he's up to while simultaneously trying to make sure he's not the next target.(No, Batman you can not adopt him.)

Both Danny and the League know something isn't right and investigate. Danny with the help of his friends and other ghosts(who want Wolf back safe and sound. Yes, they are worried).

#dc x dp crossover #batman #danny phantom #justice league #danny fenton #roulette #undercover #investigating

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whitewitchqueen · 2 months

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wow more stuff from @oldworldpoolhall specifically relating to this concept right here.

"Regarding the concept post you did, I feel like it took several tries for the reader to stay long in the lands between. Like they could go there yes, but most of the time they’re in a trance— it’s a dream to them after all, but they’re aware of what’s happening and remembers the dream still. I like the idea that they’re not very responsive in the way you’d expect for them to be, but Miquella is fine with that. He somehow manages to figure out it’s because you’re dreaming, you’re never awake. And it makes him long for the day he may meet you that’s out of the trance like state bc he wonders how you would be like without the haze of sleep. It took several visits from you to be close to them methinks Then one day, he tells you to take his hand in that weird space in between again. But this time, when you take his hand like you always do, something strange happens. When you woke up, you’re in Elphael. And you’re really sure you’re not in a dream anymore because you feel pain, you feel the wind, you feel the cold and smell the trees. He actually succeeds in bringing your body with you, but you react a bit differently than he expected you would— but he also expects this, of course you’d be different. You’re no longer asleep. You’re more reactive, you’re more responsive, you’re not as mute or as blank stared as before. You’re more… curious as you see the entirety of Elphael without the haze for the first time. It was strange in the dream bc you couldn’t remember or even see all of the details, but now you do. You can even remember Miquella and Malenia’s voices better now, their faces, their hair. You can feel their skin, the roughness of the rot, the gold embedded on Malenia’s skin in an attempt to subdue the rot, and Miquella’s surprisingly slightly rough and strong hands. It’s a terrifying experience though, still. And you come to the realization that your newfound friends do not care for the world in which you live in; that’s fine, you’re safe with them here in the Haligtree. When you get to Leyndell, that’s when it fully dawns on you that you’re really in another world."

---

It does take reader multiple tries to get to the Lands Between. Like they have these very vague dreams with very vague looking people in them but they don't really think much of it. I implied that reader has a sleeping disorder so they most likely take medication that makes them very woozy to it makes sense that they have super weird dreams.

When Miquella first meets you he finds you super interesting, even though that you're not super responsive he can't wrap his head around how this random person is able to get themself into his own dreams. When you become more lucid and are able to actually communicate with Miquella he ends up learning a lot about you, which is what drives him to bring you over to his world.

When you arrive in Elphael for the first time, and you realize that you aren't dreaming, you're a lot different then how you used to behave, like mentioned your more reactive, maybe even a little excited to be somewhere new. Miquella is super excited that his friend is finally here and is excited to see all the things in his world.

I think for the first few weeks everything is great, you're spending time with Miquella and Malenia, learning about this world, having a great time. And then you mention in passing, not even completely serious, something about your home. It might have been about wanting to go home or about something that happened when you were in your world and their reactions are just super cold. Like I do think that Miquella is curious about your world but whenever you bring up wanting to go home even in passing he shuts that down real quick.

And for real, when reader finally gets to Leyndell they're finally like "okay so maybe this world isn't all that great" and they just want to go home so badly.

#yandere x reader #platonic yandere #soft yandere #elden ring x reader #platonic yandere elden ring #yandere elden ring #elden ring godwyn #godfrey the first elden lord #elden ring radagon #elden ring

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parrotwatcher · 5 months

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Is there a Totem Force romance guide? I need help getting with Lani and Mirebell...if that is her real name.

There's one on the CoG forum, but I'll copy it out over here, too:

Kay Tennyson: One of your best friends for the last few years. Kay is strong, tough, and determined to do the right thing, no matter what. (Note: Kay is the most moral character, and if you act in too villainous a manner, she won’t like it.)

Sammy Siegel: Your other best friend from childhood. Sammy is intelligent, but rather lazy, although he can get obsessive if he finds something that truly interests him. (Note: Sammy craves attention. Even negative attention is better than being ignored, although he’d certainly prefer positive attention.)

Anara Datka: Your classmate (and potential rival/crush). Anara is the principal’s daughter and her sterling academic record is proof of this.

Chi Ikonnia: Another classmate (and potential rival/crush). Chi is the son of the town mayor, and is an easygoing, friendly young man, who’s both a star athlete and a member of the school drama club. (Note: Chi and Anara are reasonably easy to date; just don't be a jerk to them.)

Phil Tennyson: Kay’s older brother. A martial artist like his sister, although even more dedicated. (Note: when romancing Phil, it is recommended to take martial arts lessons from him. The alternative should not be impossible, but it will be much harder.)

Lani Kawaii: The class president. She terrifies teachers and students alike, is rumoured to have mob connections, and has the largest collection of pink stuffed animals in the world. (Note: Lani prefers it when you stand up to her, but without making yourself or her look stupid. She also prefers less moral characters.)

More detailed Lani romance advice:

When you visit Lani to ask her out in Episode 6, just kiss her; don’t say “I want you!” Most of the time, she should agree to date you. If you have a very low score with her, she might still turn you down, but you can avoid this by being antagonistic to her in previous encounters (e.g. calling her a “frinking witch”, telling her to “shut the frink up”), but don’t actually make fun of her (e.g. “jokingly” claiming to be the superhero, or suggesting that it’s Lani herself).

It’s also possible to get with Lani by being with someone else (especially Sammy), and letting her kiss you at the party…

Also, in Episode 11, you can visit her mansion, threaten to hurt her, select all of the above, and agree to make it a permanent thing.

In Episode 12, various factors (including her relationship stat, how villainous you are, and whether you visited her in the previous chapters) can make Lani get bored of you. In that case, insist to see her, and agree to fight for her. In the “date”, if you’re too nice, she may tire of you also, but you can still succeed by replying “Frink you” or “do I have to be your thug?”

In Episode 13, if Sammy’s alive: on the Man route, if you either forgive Sammy or choose not to work for Lani, then she will dump you. Likewise, on the other two routes, she will automatically dump you based on various factors (the simplest way to avoid this is to have dated her in Episode 12). If Sammy’s “dead”, both of these are skipped.

Ryu Yoshida: A mysterious rival who seems to hate everything and everyone except his sibling Akira. He has a burning need to prove himself, although he doesn’t seem to know who to. (Note: in order to romance Ryu, you need to convince him of the Power of Friendship. Beating him the second time you fight helps, but shouldn’t be mandatory.)

More detailed Ryu romance advice Ryu’s visible relationship stat is (at first) fake. It represents how he thinks he should feel about you, not actually how he does feel about you. His real relationship stat is raised by choosing the overly-sappy, Power of Friendship style options (e.g. running to Kay after he’s beaten her). In order to romance Ryu, you need to get him to accept his true feelings. (Note: technically you can get this if you tried to blind Akira in Episode 3, but it’s far easier if you didn’t.)

The first time you can do this is Episode 6. Beat him in the fight, and then either offer him your hand to help him up or collapse next to him (both options will require high relationship and/or Power of Friendship). If you have succeeded, Ryu will briefly turn up at the party, although you can’t actually date him yet. (Note: there is a possible kiss in Episode 6, but it’s not required.)

The next point is Episode 11. Go see him and Akira. You can talk to Akira first, ask them what it’s like living with Ryu, and then when you do meet him, tease him for being younger than Akira, and then ask why you can’t be friends. Or you can go directly to Ryu, ask him how he ended up the way he did, and then say they don’t need to do it alone. (Both require a less villainous character, or good Ryu relationship, although the latter can use Power of Friendship, instead.) If you have succeeded, you’ll be able to ask Ryu out right away. He’ll refuse, but if you return in Episode 12, he’ll agree.

Note: You have to go out with Ryu in Episode 12 to activate the romance. He will state that it’s “not a date”, but that means nothing. What is important is that if you watch Space Story, when Ryu leaves, follow him. At the end of the date, kiss him. At the end of the episode, after you’ve both been taken into Akira’s mind, don’t attack. Finally, if you join with the army in Episode 13, there’s a chance he will leave you.

Mirabelle: An even-more-mysterious blonde girl who seems to be keeping an eye on you. (Note: Mirabelle’s romance only really begins in Episode 12. As long as you met her at the party, just choose to spend the day alone and she’ll find you…)

Akira Yoshida: Ryu’s hyperactive-acting sibling; they prioritise having fun over almost anything else, although their definition of “fun” is a little skewed. (Note: Akira is not technically romanceable. They are asexual and while not completely aromantic, they aren’t interested in starting anything right now. You can hang out with them in Episode 12 instead of actually dating them, however.)

#totem force #romance options #superheroes #interactive fiction #choicescript #hosted games

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ionlydrinkhotwater · 1 year

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Back on my GOLDEN AND ELLIOT FRIENDSHIP BRAINROT

"“He came specially to say good-bye to you,” Golden said, more politely, but his tone also questioned Elliot’s intelligence. “I do not know if you are not interested, or protecting yourself, but you cannot guard yourself against the whole world. You only succeed in placing a barrier between yourself and the world.” He hesitated. “I know that from personal experience.” It was the first crack Golden had let himself show Elliot, in his ivory-and-gold façade: it was the first time Golden had shown Elliot that Golden wished to be known. Elliot appreciated that Golden wanted to be friends. He wondered what hurts Golden’s world had inflicted on him, and how they were different from the wounds the world had inflicted on Elliot, and Serene, and even Luke. Elliot hoped he would get to know Golden better."- In Other Lands

So in the Sunday Morning Transcript Q&A @sarahreesbrennan said that Golden would be a game changer for the group and I 100% see that.

One the biggest changes I could see happening is helping Elliot shoulder the emotional burden he takes on within the Luke, Serene, Elliot trio.

Tormenting their beloveds while maintaining a valid position is right up their alley.

One of the things that Elliot has over Serene and Luke is that he's more emotionally mature than they are, now that might be surprising but it's actually true. It comes down to society and personal experience. Elliot has had to self parent, self reflect, self examine and try to empathize with others because of his upbringing. He grew up with a neglectful, alcoholic, emotional abusive father whose moods dominated and dictated his home life. He may be awkward and clumsy but he's still capable of great empathy because he had to navigate a messed up situation.

After Adam sexually harassed him (rereading it its quite harrowing, one has to wonder what would have happened if Culaine had not been there? ) He tells Luke about it, now admittedly in not the best way but to be honest that may be a case of adrenaline and trauma making him adopt a casual attitude about it. Unfortunately Luke handles it poorly and Elliot becomes contrite. Even when Luke learns the truth he does not redress the issue with Elliot and even uses it as an excuse to not tell Elliot about his sexuality. Elliot is also really sorry about how he handled the news. But notice at no point does Luke attempt to navigate the emotionally fraught issues at play here, largely leaving it to Elliot to sooth HIS feelings. (I'll get back to this). Yes he broke Adam's nose but Elliot doesn't know that he's been avenged and to be fair it's more satisfying for Luke than Elliot cause he's still going to feel victimized and not believed. Notice Elliot doesn't really talk about it again and when Serene and Elliot are about to be intimate she says some very uncomfortable things about Elliot essentially being a seducer and that whatever happens will be his fault(and look Serene is great and improves from this but DAMN that was rough to read). And Jace in and of itself is just fraught with questions about consent but again Elliot is retriggered when Jace basically says that Elliot should be flattered he was harassed by Adam cause he's hot and Elliots father is indifferent to his teenage Son in a relationship with an adult. I think Elliot pursuing a relationship with Myra after all of this was a form of self love honestly cause Myra is a sweetheart. What's clear from Adaras attitude, Lukes attitude and Serenes attitude, Sex Ed in the Borderlands is woefully inept and the topic of consent is non existant. Adara only recognized that what happened with Luke and her was not OK because of her personal experience with folks not respecting her boundaries not from a societal understanding of it. I think that's why Luke can't wrap his mind around the seriousness of Elliots complant about Adam and why when he does Kiss Elliot himself he DOESN'T ASK FIRST, keep in mind at that point Elliot had rejected him and shut down any attempts at flirting, from his POV in Wings he KNOWS that based on context Elliot has made it clear he does not want to be with Luke romantically and Luke (whose brought Elliot to a treehouse Elliot can't leave and is surrounded by a battlefield and is relying on Luke for his safety) Kisses him anyway. Now Elliot is in to it cause things work out for Luke Sunborn but let's be honest it could have ended badly.

When Serene's mother calls Elliot a slut Serene is angry but when her mother rejects Luke as her sword sister she becomes livid and argues with her. Interestingly she does not defend Elliots honor with the same enthusiasm. It's Luke she passionately defends. And after they break up she and Luke do make comments on Elliots 'loose' appearance and slut shame him. They also chat about their crushes in front of him without considering that this might bum him out. Serene only stops when she notices Luke is sad and Elliot has to explain that talking about ones love life in front of single friends is kinda crappy for them. And when Serene realizes this applied to Elliot and her face becomes distraught he immediately plays down his own feelings to comfort her. @pap3r-cr0wn refers to the Elven society in IOL as a Gynopatricarchy and I'm going to refer to it as well because it's not really a Matriarchal society ( women are in charge but toxic masculinity is still being valued and upheld, ex: repression of emotions and violence as held up). Which is why she defends Luke over Elliot because Lukes skill at arms is more societally valuable and valiant than Elliots sexual freedom to the Gynopatricarchy and the patriarchy for that matter. It's the Joan of Arc/Madonna/Artemis vs Aphrodite/Magdelene/whore thing she attributes to Golden and Luke vs Elliot. Also Luke can publicly defend himself as a warrior whereas Elliot has no way of defending the things said about him.

After Adara and Natalie basically disrespect his existence after his one night stand, he shoves aside his hurt because he learns that Adara is suffering from unrequited love and as someone who grew up in a household where unrequited love destroyed his childhood he immediately privileges Adaras hurt over his own and immediately assures her.

After his mother coldly rejects him for the second time in his life he shoves his desire to unload on Luke who has come over to complain about his mom. But when Luke is in a similar emotional state he deliberately finds Elliot to unload on him.

This is sort of a pattern of his too, when he's clearly confused over his attraction to Elliot after the play, when Elliot tells him hes interested in Myra, Luke rants about how Elliots mean and forced him to do the play (which he technically didnt) but Elliot just snarks him through this tantrum. And when he has his other tantrum in his cabin he mentions that Elliot didn't remember his name...which Luke should not get to complain about that, given his excellent memory his inability to learn names is a choice not something he can't help. I love Luke but I think in some ways he buys into his good guy persona cause when he recounts things in his cabin he deliberately leaves out the fact that he also didn't consider Elliot a friend and that he never remembers people's names and that he hasn't always been nice to Elliot either. And the burden of forcing himself to play that role causes Lukes tantrums because if he just let himself be an asshole like Elliot he'd feel better across the board.

Another thing Elliot does is become obsessed with everyone's romantic life, pairing them up and scheming to get them together. Why? Again it comes down to his mom and dad, if he takes control of everyone's romantic life they won't end up like his parents and he can exercise control over the situation unlike with his parents. He tries to help Luke get with Dale and he helps Serene with Golden. Interestingly they don't offer to reciprocate in helping with Elliots romantic life. For Serene it comes down to cultural issues and for Luke he's not good at this sort of thing. But it's also no surprise that privileged kids like Serene and Luke occupy the nurtured over nurturing position.

Now why are Luke and Serene like this?!

Well first it's privilege, both Serene and Luke occupy the top of their respective societies and they also have all the talents and abilities that are valued by their society. They are at the top of the food chain and anyone will tell you that people who are privileged have a tough time wrapping their heads around other people in a less privileged positions problems. They came from bonkers families but both of them had parents who love them and they have the love and admiration of those around them. More so Luke than Serene at the bordercamp.

The societies they grew up in are really problematic. Rachel Sunborn might be openminded but that's not the case for all of the Sunborns and Luke has ABSOLUTELY absorbed the closed minded attitude Humans have taken about OtherLand races.

This exchange basically encompasses everything wrong here:

"“Yeah,” Luke said, ignoring this byplay. “But come on, you can’t always trust dwarves.” Elliot gave him a look of withering scorn. Luke, used to it at this point, did not seem unduly affected. “You’re from the human world and maybe you don’t know,” he said. “But they’re—I mean, some of them are nice, obviously, I’ve met some very nice dwarves, but there’s a tendency to be a bit cunning? My dad says so.” “It’s true,” said Captain Briarwind, who was really young for a captain, a bit spotty, and had a distressing tendency to look heroworshipfully at Luke. “They’re a low and cunning folk.” He did not seem to be making a pun. “They’d lie, cheat, and steal for gold.” Elliot could not believe that idiots like Captain Briarwind and Captain Whiteleaf got missions while Captain Woodsinger hardly ever did. Both Luke and Captain Briarwind seemed blissfully unaware that one of Elliot’s friends from council-training course, Myra, had dwarf blood. “Don’t either of you talk to me,” said Elliot, and stormed off."

To be fair Serene said something similar earlier when she's explaining the Borderlands to Elliot about the untrustworthniess of other races in the Borderlands.

The societies that Serene and Luke grew up in uphold violence, repression of emotion and soldierly obedience. It's also Anti-intellectual, when Lakelost expresses concern that Luke reads Michael Sunborn is quick to deny it because goodness forbid!

With these values and the discouragement from learning new ideas or getting to know other races, the idea of emotional intelligence and empathy would be squashed after all, how can war thrive with emotionally openminded soldiers?

The Harpy issue was an interesting case study with their group dynamic because for once Luke was experiencing what it's like to not occupy the top spot in society and he was also wrestling with his internalized xenophobia. And he basically sulked and threw a massive tantrum. To Elliots credit he was actually more gentle with Lukes emotions than Serene was during this situation and that's cause Serene whose had to tolerate human supremecy crap at camp for years has no sympathy for Lukes sulking. She's says to Elliot "Just because he is finding adjusting to a harpy lifestyle difficult does not mean he is allowed to mistreat his friends.” and I should point out (the Dale thing aside, which for the record, may have been a crappy thing to do but let's be honest, Luke and Dale weren't dating and Luke wasnt actually interested in him anyway and What Luke said to HIM was 100000% worse). Elliot shows remarkable empathy for what Lukes going through given that on a closer look its bit absurd, he's horrified at the Harpies brutality? He's a soldier, guaranteed he's seen worse and what is worse? He helped make those corpses, who cares if they are ritualistically scattered? First he's privledging human violence over other species violence when really violence is violence and its all down to internalized zenophobia. Also he does not take it out on Serene he deliberately goes after Elliot here and as i stated this is his partern he lets his anger boil over and its Elliot who is the target but unlike every other time where Elliot soothed him and took on the blame he fights back and Luke who is put off by the argument goes in for the kill blow and Elliot snaps. I think this is cause he thought it would be a fair fight, and what he doesn't realise is that it never was equal between he and Elliot. Elliot can annoy, but Luke can harm. We see in this situation that Serene is helping to shoulder the emotional burden but she still employs weaponized incompetence (a favourite tool of the patriarchy or Gynopatricarchy here to excuse their emotional incompetence and therefore force Elliot to handle more of the burden). The Borderlands humans are also under this macho belief too, even though Rachel is a strong female in Lukes life, Sunborn women are an exception and even Luke relationship with his father is warm but they have manly silences, its not as emotionally open as one would think in a modern father son relationship. Unbelievably Luke still expects Elliot to apologize to him first and when Elliot does he accepts it but at no point does it occur to him to wonder about the WHY, why did Elliot do what he did, what was it about this situation that sent Elliot to such a dark place? He just says well the other side sucks stay with me and Serene. Which is sweet in a ditzy way but clearly he's not capable of examining the emotional landscape of what happened the way Elliot could.

Now Luke and Serene are very nice people BUT it's quite clear that like most sheltered privileged people, that niceness itself is a privilege. For Elliot hes not nice but he is KIND and his hangups and his kindness are hard-won from a life of crap. And he has to navigate different emotional landscapes over the border from an informed disadvantage. For Luke and Serene they are operating from life being generally good and when it's not they can't cope as well as Elliot can.

Now to both Luke and Serenes credit they are different from those around them because they are open to learning. Serene joining the Bordercamp and enrolling in the council course shows that she's interested in broadening her mind and growing. And Luke does read and although he's struggling with his familys expectations (not in terms of skill but the whole Sunborn boldness) he does try to keep an open mind and will allow Elliot to wield his privilege for good and he wants to be a good person. He cares about Elliot and Serene and I think as time goes by he will start self examining a bit. Like every tantrum Lukes ever had, you could tell it was building up everytime and AGAIN if he dropped the nice guy act and let himself get mad he'd be less likely to blow up.

THE GOLDEN AGE

Golden has been calling Serene out on her crap from the start and Elliot is positively gleeful watching Serene freak out over not trodding on Goldens agency. And Golden talks about sneaking in Banned books in Elf Finishing school, I like that Elliot thinks Elf Finishing school sound splendid which I think he would do pretty well there. And in the quote at the start of the essay Golden is not only offering Elliot advice he also offers emotional insight and baring his own vulnerability as well. I think that Golden joining the group shifts the power balance but also the emotional burdens. Before this Elliot put up with some things because he was not secure in his relationship with them. But after the Harpy insident he can be more direct cause he is more secure, he can actually get mad at Serene and let her know it, like when she says that Elliot should let Luke down gently and calls out that Elliot hasn't liked Luke and Elliot snaps at her. Serene finds him and apologizes. @pap3r-cr0wn has a theory that Golden gave her a lecture on the nuisance of belligerent sexual tension and also minding her business about her friends relationships lol. But I think with the addition of Golden who is Serenes spouse and Elliot dating Luke they can demand that their partners be more openminded and emotionally mature. They also have more social capital within the group and Elliot is no longer outnumbered.

In Goldens experience with Elven society they would be treated as second tier and is under a lot more scrutiny and experiences a lot more repression than Serene and all the other female elves Elliots met. And Elliot considers what Golden has been through and wants to learn more. But its also an acknowledgement of Elliot that he finally has an ally, cause for Golden they would have been raised to be intuitive, gentle, intelligent and emotional, now Golden, and all the other elves really dont fit neatly into the gendered expectations that their society demands but his upbrining would at least allow him to cultivate those traites that Elliot also values. The final mention of Golden in IOL has Elliot and Golden leaning their heads together over the pros and cons list Golden made about different fortresses. I think we can see that they are really close and as SRB mentioned in the Q&A that an event will make them even closer and I hope so cause Elliot deserves to have a best friend outside of the trio.

One last thing about consent being taught in the Borderlands, in TWTBD Mark talks about consent in regards to what happened to Illyria. Now he does care about treating Ladies properly but this understanding of sexual assault feels like another Elliotism that he parrots throughout the story. I think Elliot is making sure the Sex Ed taught to his students is inclusive and covers things that they need to know like consent.

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maxwell-grant · 2 years

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So, I reread your post on how you aren't too fond of spy parodies in the James Bond vein, and it made me think: what are your thoughts on how TF2 intersects with that kind of pulp fiction or spy fiction?

I don't think I'm "not too fond of" spy parodies in general, really, whatever my thoughts on James Bond himself I'm not adverse to spy fiction or spy parodies, they just usually don't do much of anything for me. Maybe part of that is because I got really, really spoiled early with TF2, which was one of my first big fandoms.

First thing that comes to mind with the idea of an intersection between TF2 and spy fiction is an SFM short called Agent Gunn: Vulkanite, which is fan-made but well-made to the point it might as well be official. It's a short film about this badass superspy Bond character with an ending that shows what happens when you put James Bond in the TF2 universe: He may get to do all that James Bond crap and look cool and stylish and so on, but since this is Team Fortress 2, the Mercs will eventually show up to kick his ass and steal his shit and ride off into the sunset laughing at him. Whether that’s because this is their turf and old-school conventions don’t apply here, because TF2′s parody status demands this to happen, or because it’s the TF2 mercs and this is just what you’d expect them to do regardless, it’s up to you.

TF2 over the years has kinda blossomed into this ever-more-absurd cartoon of itself in a way that's only made it funnier and more long-lasting than it might have been otherwise, so it's interesting to look back on it's early years, in it's initial design documents, and see a point where they had the design and art style figured out, but not quite the personality down pat. It’s funny to think that TF2′s design was specifically set to be retro-inspired, in many ways more retro than Team Fortress 1 (Classic) was intended to be, because “retro” is not usually an adjective we associate with timeless design, quite the opposite. Team Fortress 2′s approach to design is, or at least was, a bunch of J.C Leyendecker-looking characters duking it out in an 1960s spy movie setting, a combination that feels like it should be in a dated prequel to a modern FPS, not in the sequel to one.

A lot of this comes down to the fact that Team Fortress 2 was, originally, intended to have that kind of modern warfare aesthetic, and they had 9 years in development to work out a lot of things about this game and change it, ultimately realizing that all their attempts to make this gritty and realistic and serious experience didn’t match at all the actual experience of playing a first-person shooter, which is chaos and nonsense and people dicking around. They ended up instead taking the better road, which was to embrace the chaos and allow for the game to be funny, but most importantly, make it distinct. Making each of it’s characters distinct from each other became the top priority, and it paid off superbly.

A lot of what sets TF2 apart from most other FPS games comes from the fact that it works with the player experience and embraces it in it’s sheer chaos, and this, I think, also works in it’s favor in regards to how it relates to those two influences. TF2 gets a lot of praise for it’s extremely strong cast of personalities and rightfully so, and it also gets a lot of great jokes out of just playing around with the setting it’s built for itself and how the characters live, kill and/or die in it. The characters are absurd because the world is absurd, and sometimes the world gets so absurd that the characters can even look normal or well-adjusted by comparison.

I think a lot of it’s strengths are helped by the fact that it’s characters weren’t originally designed to be funny first and foremost, which is why the comics succeed in doing dramatic bits with them, but they all lend themselves to be funny not just because of their personalities, but because they live and participate in this superspy warfare world, and that kind of thing is just inherently bonkers no matter how you cut it. It’s a lot like how, no matter how dark and gritty and aggressively self-important superheroes get, they will never wash away that childish whimsy of it’s origins, and this is not at all a negative. Team Fortress 2 gets to have pretty much most of the great and cool parts of spy fiction, even played as straight as the creators want it to be, or making it even cooler by having you live out those (particularly if you happen to be one of the bastards who plays Spy, which I am lmao), but it also gets to dick around and poke fun at the entire genre/format extensively.

It’s intersection with spy fiction is that TF2 (and Venture Bros as well) is one of the great, wonderful consequences of living in a world where Austin Powers killed James Bond.

Now, there’s an argument to be made that TF2 isn’t exactly pulling from “traditional” pulp fiction that much, considering that the bulk of it’s inspirations comes from the men’s adventure paperbacks that were specifically not the pulps and were partially instrumental in the downfall of pulp fiction in American circles. But, I can’t bring myself to seriously argue that kind of stuff doesn’t fall under the pulp umbrella (I think most people even call it pulp nowadays), I think I’ve talked enough about how impossible and useless it is to define pulp fiction under those parameters. It’s also not an argument worth exploring in regards to TF2 because, well, it very clearly has pulp love in it’s blood, the biggest reasoning as to why being, the entire existence of Saxton Hale,

who’s sort of Professor Challenger if he borrowed Doc Savage’s workout ethic, and General Zaroff for most of the other ethics. Who initially existed mainly so the creators could get as much over-the-top pulp nonsense humor out of their systems as possible, and who stayed that way even as he was developed into more of a character, still far more absurd than the other characters but with an established personality, as the merc’s comedically insensitive boisterious arms-dealing Great White Hunter shitbag of a boss with this wholly separate world of adventures that mostly don’t show up and don’t matter except for when it’s funny, and who gets away with being a shitbag because he’s funny and the setting has considerably worse villains.

To bring up Venture Bros again, in some ways, Saxton kinda feels like he fulfills a similar role to Jonas Venture Sr, in the sense that he’s painted with broader strokes than the other characters in ways that make him a monument to the pulp side of things that runs in the work’s blood, sort of embodying a part of this universe in a way, and the fact that these two are more of aggressive pastiches than the other characters serves to underline that they are not on the same level as the other characters and also that they lord over them, because they fit in this world in ways they don’t, because they’re cut out to thrive in all this retro superspy cartoon warfare nonsense, if not having outright created or inspired much of it himself. Saxton is practically a saint compared to Jonas but, that has more to do with the fact that Team Fortress 2 is considerably more light-hearted and funny than Venture Bros and it has considerably different priorities for storytelling.

Speaking of the more pulp side of TF2, it’s also important to note that, in the lore of the series, it was established that the conflict between RED vs BLU has been ongoing for decades before any of the mercs were even born, and that the first team of mercenaries (pictured above) hired by the Mann brothers in 1850 consisted of sort of a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen set-up of several big historical figures filling in the roles, most of whom based on real people except for John Henry (who fills in for Heavy), and Fu Manchu (who was the original Spy). A lot of modern pulp works use this approach extensively in order to go for a retro vibe or explore alternate history scenarios and, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have to dig very hard to find one or several examples of “pulp” stories written in modern times where Abraham Lincoln’s wielding a flamethrower or Nikola Tesla kickstarts a sci-fi revolution.

I will say that I do find the usage of Fu Manchu in this line-up interesting. The bulk of the character’s adventures all take place in the 1900s (with the earliest date canonically attributed to him being 1880 as when he began a plot spanning 30 years, and PJF attributing his birth year to 1840), and no work, as far as I can find, ever depicted him as a young man, let alone potentially a hero (the comics do emphasize a lot how Spy as a person is nowhere near as much of a bastard as his in-game reputation indicates) and certainly not a team player alongside the likes of Nikola Tesla, and considering the kind of things he does and says as an elderly crimelord, for Fu Manchu to have spent his youth working as a mercenary for rich American bastards? That implies a character arc of sorts. (This seems to be the last named appearence Fu Manchu has ever made in any piece of pop culture, not counting Shang Chi’s father, but a name change doesn’t really make him a different character and plenty of really great modern Shang Chi stories still make use of the Fu Manchu iconography to make a point without making any actual tribute to the character, which is the ideal outcome). This is a largely irrelevant piece of trivia within the context of TF2, just something I wanted to highlight if we’re talking the way pulp shows up in TF2, at least overtly.

Part of the reason why I did bring up Venture Bros and other stuff is because, and I do stress this everytime I get talking about TF2, but the game has grown so much past it’s beginnings that it’s kind of mind-boggling to get your head around, for the past 15 years it’s been alive and kicking and, much like it’s characters, breaking the rules and defying logic and somehow still staying alive even when they should have been dead and buried a billion times now, even after it’s been followed up by countless shinier and trendier shooters, even after it’s been left to die and plagued with issues after issues, after everyone says it’s dead. I guess to me that’s the most “pulp” thing about it, the way it intersects most with the kind of pulp fiction I spotlight on my blog.

Not just it’s aesthetics and approach to storytelling and violence and humor and protagonist as unhinged and mercurial as they are human and persistent to the bitter end, but the fact that the thing as a whole just doesn’t die, even when by all means it already has and shouldn’t even exist anymore. It just keeps on finding new ways to live again and again and keep on trucking, as fiction, as a style, as a fanbase, as a meme (as many, many, many, many, many memes, actually), as a dream or goal. It’s still beloved by many and it still has plenty of gas in the tank. It will not die.

...It sure could use an actual goddamn update any second now, though.

#replies tag #team fortress 2 #tf2 #pulp heroes #pulp fiction #spy fiction #valve #steam #heavy weapons guy #the spy #miss pauling #saxton hale #oh sorry #SAAXTON HAAAAAAAAAALE #any fucking time now valve

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thelostgirl21 · 7 months

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So, guess who ended up watching the whole "Jobriath A.D." documentary, crying her eyes out over a guy singing about Sunday Brunch in his pyramid, and making a whole video dedicated to Jobriath and Hugh's performance as Radovid?

youtube

Actually, I also made another version (unlisted) for those of you that are already familiar with the artist, and might want to enjoy some of his music and the visuals without being distracted by the text at the bottom:

youtube

But yeah, I'm kind of so sad and upset that I never got to know about him before (given how huge of a fan of David Bowie I've been since my teenage years), and that the gay community totally failed to support him, back then.

I mean, I'm not blaming them. We've had the same issue with feminism where we used to make it all about women assuming more traditional men roles; until we finally realized that it was just as important to give more social value to traditionally perceived feminine qualities, traits, interests, and professions - in men, women, and any other gender, really - as well!

So, I can recognize that the gay community attempting to distance itself from the whole "flamboyant fairy" image likely came from the rest of society attempting to reduce them to it (among others), and creating some kind of convenient "right" vs "wrong" way to be gay narrative (a divided minority is much less powerful and loud than a united one).

Even today, we are facing a similar issue with some members of the LGBTQ+ community claiming to be part of the "LGB" without the "TQ+".

Note: the "B" of that "LGB" is often barely tolerated as a "temporary transitional phase", though; a "stepping stone" towards either the "L" or "G", or a return to being "straight".

Ultimately, it's about our survival instincts making us fear losing the relative safety we've acquired by being positively accepted and valued by those that hold the most power.

i.e. The "TQ+" is too controversial and different from the cisgender monosexual majority to be readily accepted?

Well, let's distance ourselves from it to keep us "LG"s safe, then!

While, of course, reassuring the dominant majority that the "B" will eventually choose a side, so its okay to let them come along while they are still "searching themselves". No worry! We're still as "normal" as you are!

It's all very, very binary.

No, it's not. The world is filled with beauty, diversity and nuance...

And sadly, by rejecting a part of our collective identity to better "fit in", we are sacrificing a part of our very own soul and culture. We are hurting ourselves and giving up power, not acquiring it.

So yeah, I'm not "blaming the victims" by accusing the gay community of any intentional wrongdoing back then, but JFC! It hurts.

It really hurts that he didn't receive comfort, love, and support from his very own people, at the very least, when the mainstream audience lashed out at him.

Yes, the publicity and the hype built around him made everything worse and gave off the wrong image (he probably came off as being a bit of a "self-absorbed prick", rather than someone in a position of great vulnerability), but they freaking ate him alive out there!

And he deserved better not because he was incredibly gifted and talented, but because he was a freaking human being.

What his talent and giftedness had to offer us was a voice, though, that we allowed to be silenced, and the world and our culture became lesser for it.

Jobriath did pave the way for others to then succeed, but I'm against the idea that someone needs to fall and sacrifice themselves so that others may rise. Yes, it happens, but it shouldn't have to.

I don't believe for one second that it is or was ever necessary.

But if it does happen, then yes, I say make it count for something, at the very least!

So, maybe that's why I'm so touched by the fact that Hugh listened to his music and drew inspiration from it while portraying his character.

40 years after his death, you now have a young openly gay actor being offered the role of an openly gay prince (that later becomes king) on a major fantasy show that isn't specifically about LGBTQ+ themes (like, say, "Sense8" could be considered to be), who is listening to Jobriath's music to help him connect with, build, and embody his character.

And, while I am genuinely glad that some artists are doing covers of his songs (ex: Adam Lambert with "Imaman") and bringing people's attention towards his work...

In Hugh's case, I think that what I find really touching is the fact that there's an element of "practicality" to it, if I'm making any sense? A connection that seems to be more internalized / intimate between the two artists...

Art is a means of self-expression, and sometimes you are trying to express a message, an emotion, or an idea that you wish to share with others in the world, and allow it to take a life of its own.

So, it's like the music Jobriath created - that little part of himself and the things he wished to communicate with the world that he left behind - is being listened to and welcomed by Hugh, and then combined with his own creative sensitivities to be integrated within a theatrical performance.

The spirit of what was initially shared lives on, while evolving and taking on a new form that will then go on to connect with people in a different way.

It's not so much about celebrating the songs themselves and paying tribute to the artist's work by covering them, but becomes about honoring the artist's spirit and the emotions, themes, ideas, etc. those songs were covering.

And I am genuinely not saying that one way of connecting with the artist's work or expressing appreciation for it is better than the other, not at all.

Just that as a non-professional artist myself, the idea of leaving anything behind that would have the power to touch a fellow artist's soul, help them grow as a performer, and continue to express and explore certain themes that I personally connected with at that time in my life - even if I would no longer be there to personally guide them - would be incredibly moving and make me feel like art really has the power to transcend boundaries and even death itself.

Because Jobriath's songs tackled issues related to identity, gender, relationships and self-discovery, among others...

And Radovid, as a character, is very gentle...

He's sensitive, empathetic, boyish, openly admits to being scared, freaking huddles himself in a corner to cry when he finds out his guards have been slaughtered...

I mean, when it comes down to it, all Radovid really wanted, this season, was a pretty song and someone to love and belong with...

Someone that could see him as he really is, and see some value in who he is, too...

So Jaskier, sweetheart, listen to Milva...

Because, let's be honest, you're a bit useless in the whole "rescuing Ciri" venture. I mean, you're not useless now, since Geralt is still recovering from his physical and emotional injuries, does greatly benefit from having his emotional support bard around, and you're not quite entirely done holding out interviews to find him new useful companions to watch after him and help him on his quest (don't think I didn't notice what you were doing with Milva!)...

But ultimately, this is going to involve a lot of fighting, and that's not where you're at your strongest.

However, there's a King in need of some serious rescuing, too, that could really use your wits, ability to know, influence and inspire people, and your Sandpiper connections.

You're not a hammer, you're a fellow spoon, luv; and the whole mess that Radovid has been thrown into is a situation that would most definitely requires two spoons, at the very least!

Thankfully, you've already proven that you know how to make two spoons work together very well, and become an effective weapon to annoy the hell out of those trying to keep people trapped!

You and Radovid pooling your own respective resources and joining forces together?

Philippa and Dijkstra would be so fucked... So, so fucked... And not in the "fun way".

So, as soon as Geralt has sufficiently recovered and has enough people with him to watch his back out there, get back to Radovid ASAP and get your whole "spooning thing" on, alright?

Fair warning: He might specifically need a big spoon to help dig him out of the whole mess that's threatening to bury him alive right now... Just saying!

Anyway, getting sidetracked again!

I guess my point is that Radovid is displaying the kind of emotional intelligence, insightfulness, and empathetic qualities that are more traditionally associated with feminine characters.

And that, if they are to ever make him rise to a position of great power within the kingdom, the worst possible thing Netflix could do is probably make him lose those qualities.

If princesses, in fantasy, have been allowed to gain power and become beloved queens through their compassionate and nurturing nature, their ability to genuinely care about the fate of every living person (and even creature) on their land, and "triumph over evil" by building mutually beneficial alliances with said people and creatures, so should a freaking gentle and sensitive gay prince, I say!

There really is no need to "harden Radovid", and change the very core of who he is just to "give him power".

To have him become more confident and assertive in who he is and what he can do, absolutely!

But using his trauma as an excuse to make him become some kind of angry, "tough", paranoid, uncaring and controlling leader? No.

Especially in a context where Radovid is a character that people are expecting to become hard and cruel because of his videogame counterpart, please be brave enough to completely defy those expectations by letting him be his own person!

Because Netflix's version of Radovid, thus far, is a superb example of queer representation done right, too.

And I'm going to attempt to phrase that as best as I can, so hopefully what I'm saying won't be misunderstood, but having a queer actor portray a queer character does offer an added layer of authenticity to the role.

Don't get me wrong, I'm far from opposed to the idea of having straight actors portraying certain queer characters in a context where gay, bisexual, pansexual, etc. actors are also being offered straight roles.

I'm a huge fan of Malec (the pairing of Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood), and I think that Harry Shum Jr. and Matthew Daddario did an amazing job portraying a very realistic and domestic relationship between a bisexual man and a gay man.

They both approached the roles with lots of humility, openness, asked for the queer community's guidance and feedback on their portrayal of the relationship (the fact that some of their fellow cast members on the show are queer IRL - including Nicola Correia-Damude, that portrays Maryse Lightwood - likely helped), etc.

And, when it came to filming scenes requiring to show a lot of love and intimacy between their two characters, they didn't hold back, either.

So, I do think that you can definitely be straight IRL, and feel confident enough in your own sexuality and in who you are to explore and embrace other orientations through your acting.

Not to mention that having such actors show that they aren't afraid to portray queer characters on TV, and to openly support and associate with the LGBTQ+ community, is setting a positive example for other cisgender straight people out there.

It kind of goes to show that, just because one is exposed to diversity when it comes to love, romance and sexuality, it won't magically "turn them gay".

Because, trust me, if Matthew Daddario didn't magically "become gay" after all those steamy kisses and emotionally/physically intimate scenes he had to film with Harry Shum Jr., likely nothing will!

And most bisexuals I've personally discussed the character of Magnus Bane with did feel like he was an accurate representation of their own sexuality.

Just like, as a panromantic and pansexual person, I'm 100% "vibing" with Joey Batey's portrayal of Jaskier.

I have no idea what Joey's actual sexual orientation is, or why he decided to explore pansexuality with his character before they made it official, but I feel like "he gets me".

Even his decision to make Jaskier become specifically romantically attracted to the way he perceives Radovid's intellect (sapioromantic) - and swoon over how intelligent and insightful he is on screen - is something that I can viscerally connect with, since I'm personally exclusively romantically and sexually attracted towards geeks.

If you were to pay attention to the way I'm looking at my partner dungeon mastering a D&D game, you'd think I was watching him perform a freaking striptease! It's uncanny!

So, even if Joey was to tell me that he is straight, I'd be more than fine and happy to have my own romantic and sexual identity be represented by him. I feel like he truly "gets me", regardless of whether it's from personal experience, or because of his own ability to put himself in other people's shoes and intimately connect with their reality.

It's just that, in Hugh's case, knowing that he is gay, and that the role has a personal significance for him, offers another layer of appreciation for the character and the actor's performance.

He just seems to be so happy to be living at a time and age where you can get that kind of representation in a major fantasy show - where you can have queer characters that are complex, fleshed out, and not reduced to mere stereotypes - and to be given the chance to be a part of the people that are making it happen, that you can't help but feel it, too.

It almost makes me wonder if they cast Hugh Skinner specifically because they knew how different from the videogames their version of Radovid was going to be, and they needed someone that would look like he has such a wonderful time with this role, and is so grateful to be there and be given the opportunity to play him, that hating on the character would literally feel like kicking a puppy!

Me: I don't think I could ever feel as protective over a fictional character as I feel about Jaskier.

Hugh Skinner: Hold my - I mean Jaskier's lute, I've got this!

Me: Ah, crap. Here we go again...

And the sad part is that, back when the whole controversial romance between Radovid and Jaskier was planned and filmed, no one had any idea that it would be Henry Cavill's last season.

But now, they bascially introduced a version of Prince Radovid that is the polar opposite of what the writers of "The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt" came up with, and paired him up with a character that has never been established as being queer in the books and the videogames (Jaskier)...

...right at the height of the angry toxic gaming community's "let's all assume that Henry Cavill is leaving because of the showrunner's blatant 'woke agenda', and all of these outrageous changes that were made to the source material the games (ex: OMG! They decided that a splendid full-figured black woman could fit the book description of "Margarita Laux-Antille emerged from the pool with a splash.. Ciri could not stop herself from taking a peek. She saw Yennefer in the nude many times and she didn't think anyone could have a more beautiful figure. She was wrong. At the sight of a naked Margarita Laux-Antille even marble statues of goddesses and nymphs would sob with jealousy"... HOW DARE THEY?!?!?!), and call for the boycott and cancellation of the series" movement!

Do you guys ever wish that the LGBTQ+ community had some kind of huge "bat signal" to let fellow queers - that, in this more specfic case, haven't seen "The Witcher" yet - know that there's this absolutely amazing queer romance happening on a show that totally deserves their love and attention?

And that said queer romance could really use their love and attention right about now - and throughout the next season - if we've any hope that the show will keep on running and remain popular for as long as humanly possible, given that it has just lost its biggest star (that was playing the main character, no less), and there's a bunch of people that have decided that they would no longer be watching it because of that.

Somehow, I'm just heartbroken over the prospect of the show not having the chance to really further develop Jaskier and Radovid's stories (both their romance, and each individual character's journeys), and the actors not having the chance to fully really portray and develop them.

Radskier is basically "Malec material" being introduced in a show that has a disproportionately high number of angry right-wing ideologists and incels gamers "fans" that are dedicating entire YouTube channels to trying to punish the TV show for daring to have a more inclusive cast and broader view of beauty standards than its videogame counterpart, and making a womanizer keep the same impulsive drive to love and sexually connect with a bunch of different people he becomes spontaneously enamored with, but without said sexual drive being motivated by them being women.

And bits and pieces of that narrative is bleeding into the more moderate audience, without realizing how problematic or nonsensical some of them are at their core.

I wish there was some kind of "Malec fans hotline" you could call to say "Guys! I know this may not be your usual TV show genre, but there's something exceptionally good happening right here that you need to come and checkout! You have two lovers from two different worlds experiencing an instant soul-deep connection in one of the most adorable "meet awkward cute" of TV history. And that connection throws one of them a bit out of a loop, because he's never romantically fallen in love before (he's greyromantic)... And one of them is expected to basically sacrifice all of his own wants and needs to honor his duty, because he was born into a highly regarded and powerful royal family... And he initially tries to conform to his family's expectations, but realizes that it is not who he is... And there's this situation where he keeps some information from the man he loves, and the other realizes it, he becomes scared that he made a mistake trusting him and pushes him away... But then..."

How do we get the audience that is usually into these types of stories to migrate towards "The Witcher"?

*Heavy sigh*

But yeah, all I hope is that Liam Hemsworth's performance as Geralt will be well-received, and that the show will be deemed successful enough for Netflix to continue investing in it so that these storylines and characters will be given the chance to continue to grow and develop...

#Jobriath #Hugh Skinner #Radovid #Radskier #Jaskier #The Witcher #My Posts #My Thoughts #My Stuff #My fucking feels!#All of them!#Videos

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utilitycaster · 2 years

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I was wondering if you had any thoughts on what "redemption" means to Zerxus? In particularly how his difficulty with forgiving the people of Avalir and himself either conflicts with, agrees with, or has nothing to do with his views of redemption? I'm new to D&D, so my exposure to Oath of Redemption Paladins is based only on what I've read online. I feel like my lack of understanding of the subclass is causing me to misunderstand him. That or I'm just projecting. Hope this makes sense, and you find it interesting enough to examine. Thanks for your time either way.

A few things are going on here:

I have no idea what you're referring to regarding him not forgiving the people of Avalir; is this a specific line? He says "I hate this place"; that's nonspecific, has nothing to do with the people, and anyway it doesn't matter because...

You have conflated forgiveness and redemption which are two very different concepts. Forgiveness is the act of letting go of your anger or vindictiveness towards someone; redemption, when you strip out all the specific real-world religion aspects and talk about a redemption arc, is the act of moving past prior misdeeds and becoming a better person. You can forgive a person who is still a bad person, but they are not redeemed; a person can redeem themselves through their actions, but might not be forgiven by all. Forgiveness is a thing others give to you; redemption is a thing you achieve for yourself. The Oath of Redemption does not once mention the word "forgiveness". It's not about that.

Paladins strive to embody their oaths; they do not always succeed flawlessly and in most cases are not expected to, provided they are indeed striving.

But also, I am personally of the belief that in D&D actual play, while understanding D&D absolutely gives you more insight into the story, if you need to go to the subclass sourcebooks to understand a character's motivation, that actor has failed - and I don't think Luis has failed.

Zerxus believes in redemption. He believes that within everyone there is a capacity to become better. The problem is that he believes this so hard that he forgets the caveats of his oath - that even if you believe everyone can be redeemed, if someone refuses redemption and is threatening others, it is a disservice to favor their hypothetical redemption over others' literal lives. (And, while this is in the subclass, listed in the flavor text and literal oath, this is also just common sense). Redemption means exactly what it always means to him; he is just too arrogant to admit that he can't keep forcing it when someone is refusing redemption; or to acknowledge that the gods are, contrary to many of the attitudes of those in the Age of Arcanum, actually more ancient and vastly more powerful than mortals, and do not need their worship. He keeps pushing well past the point of failure. That's Zerxus's story. It is, like the others' a story of hubris.

#hubris all the way down #critical role #exu calamity #zerxus ilerez

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lowkeyclueless5137 · 2 years

Text

Some ansty angst today

Yesterday, @spirtworld wanted for me to unleash some raw Floyd angst into the wild and see how everything will go down... So here we go :3

This is one of my favorite headcannon-theories that will play as a base in here, even if I believe it was debunked to not be real... But... Lemme have it... Because yes... It was inspired by some pretty fanart on pinterest, but I lost the links ;-;

I wrote this on discord... Explaining it in depth and how dark it could get...

But we aren't getting into the dark part for now :3

We will have a tiny weny oneshot of how everything played out after I explain everything.

Also... This might be hints about my pttw comic... So if you wanna figure it out... Go ahead and read it...

But if you don't want some slight spoiler hints... I recommend you shouldn't read it...

That was a warning!

Under the cut I'll explain it. (copy pasted from my notes and edited accordingly)

Anyway!

I headcannon heavily that Floyd is actually really aware of his public image. Like he is aware people fear him, he is aware other students would rather dig their own graves than hang out with him... He has that scary aura around him.

And that is a thing Floyd hates, because this is exactly a trait of the Diasomnia students... He tries his best to be playful and snuggle himself into social circles, but he does not really succeed so easy, which makes his moods to alter more, yet Floyd sees how Jade and Azul manage so well to blend in, making him a bit envious.

Because they were since start in Octavinelle (here's where the theory comes :3)

My theory is this: Floyd was sorted at first in Diasomnia (I say it because he really fits the vibe of scary, but actually a quirky guy)

But imagine how the world would crash onto him once he hears that. That Azul, his dear friend that even changed and grew before Floyd's own eyes and Jade, his own twin, his half, his family, the 2 most precious of persons Floyd ever had in his life... To be separated from him in a different dorm. That's how he made that commotion at the sorting ceremony, getting on Riddle's nerves and having his first taste of the 'off with your head'.

He started to feel conscious of his appearance, of his public image since that day. He didn't want to talk with silver(his roimmate) at all. He didn't want to get out of bed, he didn't want to eat, he didn't even want to touch his magic pen. He would even resort to running away and breaking into Octavinelle just to be with Jade and Azul.

Just to try and feel like he belongs somewhere, where he is actually loved for who he is.

Azul wasn't ignoring any of this. He was really concerned. And while Jade was aiding to his brother's pitiful state, Azul was trying his best, skimming through everything and putting all of his efforts into finding something that would priquire Malleus's interest enough, so he could trade it for his approval of moving Floyd into Octavinelle.

Azul tricked his way and made his reputation of being 'shady' just to become Dormhead and have the authority necessary to get Crowley and convince Malleus to let Floyd transfer to Octavinelle.

All, of course in the best of discrecy.

Of course this incident was hidden and most of the students remember only that Floyd caused a stirr at the ceremony just because he angered Riddle. No one actually paid mind to which dorm Floyd was sorted.

But Floyd couldn't shake that feeling that he doesn't belomg in there... He hates that he feels like he doesn't fit.

He hates himself for not making enough efforts to fit.

And sometimes, when emotions drive him off, his magic pen will turn a bright green instead of the usual white gem, typical Octavinelle, which would scare him, thinking that he'll have to go back in Diasomnia.

Jade forgot about the incident and decided that it was better if it wasn't brought anymore. Azul was keeping the contract(which wasn't out of his um) with Malleus and Crowley about the transfer, buried deep in the safe of his office.

Now imagine chapter 3... But Leona and Ruggie get their hands into that transfer contract too. And by destroying it, they force Floyd to go back to Diasomnia unknowingly.

Now let's see the little oneshot:

~~~~~~

Blot

Chaos

A mess everywhere you would look. That's how one would describe the scene left behind Azul's overBlot. One would expect that the Dormhead of Octavinelle wouldn't spiral in such a ravenous crying fit for just a contracts. And even after he was brought back to normal, Azul scrambled, under everyone's judging glares, to the pile of golden sand, grabbing it and digging through it.

He was desperate. There must be in there! There must be at least a little intact piece he could use magic to restore it. No? It has to be!

"Azul! Azul! Snap out of it! Look at me..." Jade was the first one who grabbed his friend by the shoulders, shaking him to gain his attention. Floyd was right next to Azul, getting a more firmer grip onto him than his twin, to have Azul in a somewhat reassurance, which didn't work.

"I-it's gone... It's destroyed... We lost it... We can't retrieve it... It's gone!" Azul started to mumble as his inky tears were rolling over his cheeks, the boy leaning onto Floyd as he was crying silently, mumbling in between heavy breaths about 'the lost object'.

Jade looked at the pile of sand, then at Floyd. At the poor clueless Floyd. Eyes landed onto his twin's breast pocket before teeth grittered with anger.

Getting up in a flash, Jade grabbed Leona by the neck. "Do you even realise what you've done?! ANSWER ME!" the boy screamed, which was a shock for everyone. Jade usually was the more collected one, yet right now, the eel was seconds away from just leaving Leona headless for real.

"Jade! Stop it! What has even gotten into ya?!" Floyd had to leave Azul's side to stop his brother as the others joined in separating the 2. Jade was struggling under the other's grip, trying to get his hand onto Leona, with a deep rage bubbling under his skin.

"oh... Did I come at the wrong time?" a voice piped in.

Azul froze in place as well as Jade, both of them eyeing Lilia with sheer fear. This was really happening. "What's the silence for? I thought you would be more happy to see me..." Lilia mumbled. "What's with you in here? The lounge's closed..." Floyd mused, still clueless.

"Oh... Dear... You don't know? I came to pick you up..."

Words that sunk into Floyd's mind like an arrow. His stomach was burying itself and his heart was squeezed in fear at those words coming from Lilia's mouth. "This is a joke... No? Jade? Azul? It's a joke... Right? It's a bad joke, guys..." Floyd said with a strained smile.

Yet Azul only looked down as well s Jade. "I am... So sorry, Floyd... I did everything I could..." Azul mumbled through tears. Jade only was silent as he made a small motion to his breast pocket, where his magic pen was. Floyd followed with his hand the said gazes that were targeted to his own pocket, fearfully touching his pen and getting it out. Tears were building in his eyes as Floyd lowered his own gaze onto the said pen.

The gem was green... A bright green Floyd oh so feared.

"No... Nonono... This can't be... You promised me... You told me we will be forever together... Right?" The boy said as tears stained his cheeks, falling on the ground. The silence though, was enough to shatter Floyd's heart.

"Floyd... I-" "No... You promised me, Jade! WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO ME?!" Floyd screamed as he pushed away his twin's attempt at a hug, then throwing his own pen on the ground. "I'm sick of this pity! Just leave me alone! All of you!" The boy declared as he turned onto his heel and ran away from Octavinelle.

"Vangrouge... Please... There must be a way to keep him..." Azul begged, on his knees, to the said Fae. "I am afraid the terms of the contract were all broken... I cannot do anything about it..." Lilia mused with a sigh. Jade only hugged Azul, caressing gently the head of the other to attempt at calming down the crying male. "Everyone... I advise you to get out immediately... Octavinelle will no longer welcome guests from other dorms for the rest of the day." The vice mused as he shooed away everyone. Lilia though, stood at the same spot.

Exhaling, the Fae crossed his arms. "It's pitiful from you... Such a sight..." "You have no words in this..." Jade snarled back. "You will have to embrace it... For his own good..." Lilia mused. Azul only wiped his tears with a trembling arm as he looked at Jade.

"He will have to accept it... Weather Floyd likes it or not..."

~~~~~~~~~

That's it for today :D

*hands tissues*

And here for y'all :3

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst floyd #floyd leech #azul ashengrotto #twst azul #jade leech #twst jade #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia #twst leona #twst ruggie #floyd angst #because I want to realease it into the wild #and see what happens #>:3 #I feel evil for some reason #but I am also holding the endings from being realeased too... so I guess that might be the motive #clownery hours with angst on main :D

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iturbide · 2 years

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Will admit my dislike towards Shez is mostly based on how everyone seems to now be bashing Byleth for it, because "Oooo it was SO easy to make a protag with personality" or "Ooo Shez is doing the bare minimum and is still better" like?? You don't HAVE to put a character down when you say you like a character? And Byleth did have personality i thought - they're even shown to have a little in the brief glimpse you get before they get snapped out of the demo in my opinion. Or maybe I'm just being too sensitive :P

-- wait people are bashing Byleth because Shez exists?? What's even the point of doing that??? They're two different characters with two different personalities and please excuse me I'm about to devolve into an AC3 rant.

Okay so I have been an Assassin's Creed fan for a long time. I played the first game when it was newly out. That's how I got into the series. I have kept up with it...well enough? I played the first "three" (yes I'm counting the Ezio trilogy as a single unit, and I have played all of them), I eventually managed to get through the next trilogy of Black Flag, Unity which I loathed we do not speak of it, and Syndicate, and I keep trying to play Origins/Odyssey/Valhalla but the major changes to the control scheme have made them impossible for me to succeed at so at some point I need to go in and overhaul the controls so I can actually progress out of what amounts to tutorial land. This isn't about the later games, though: this is about that original trilogy, and you will understand why shortly.

So you might have noticed that the first "three" bit is a bit odd. See, the first game took place during the Third Crusade (1191), focusing primarily on the cities of Acre, Damascus, and Jerusalem and followed master assassin Altair as he royally fucked up, got demoted, and then worked his way back up through the ranks and learned some humility (among other things). He was kind of full of himself at first, but while he was an interesting enough guy overall, it was really the wider story and open world game mechanics that proved to be the major draw of the game and got it greenlit for another.

The second game took place during the Italian Renaissance, and followed a young Florentine nobleman Ezio through his teenage years and the trauma of losing his family to a conspiracy, becoming an assassin under the tutelage of his uncle, and hunting down the men responsible for having his family killed. Ezio was...well, very Italian: very expressive, very emotive, very suave, very charming, lots of gestures when he talks, very open and expressive and emotive. And he was popular -- so much so that, rather than going to Assassin's Creed 3, they instead did two spin-offs that continued to follow Ezio through his life: one covering the Borgia papacy and set mostly in and around Rome, and a second covering the rise of the Ottomon Empire in and around Constantinople.

Revelations brought Ezio's story to a close, at which point the series finally moved onto the "third" game, set during the American Revolution. And this was where they did something that to this day I find incredibly clever: they start the game having you play as Haytham Kenway, a British man working to establish an operative network in the colonies and find the use for a key he stole back in England. You spend roughly five hours with him, going through all the usual motions of an Assassin's Creed game, and while he's rather more brutal than Ezio was he still acts and talks just like the assassins we've come to know over the years...

...and then at the end of those five hours he gets together with his operatives and speaks the Templar phrase and pulls the fucking rug out from under you

Look to this day I think fondly of that reveal, that for all their enmity and their millennia of war the Assassins and Templars basically operate the same way such that there's very little to distinguish one from the other when approached from an outside perspective, it's brilliant and it plays so beautifully into the game's overarching themes

So after that, the main game opens up and we start following Ratonhnhaké:ton (who goes by Connor, in interactions with people outside his tribe), the son of Haytham Kenway who was raised by his Kanienʼkehá꞉ka mother among her people, as he sets out to join the Assassins for the sole purpose of stopping the Templars who threaten his people and their way of life. The whole game with him is probably my favorite narratively, and Connor is my favorite assassin to this day.

Fandom hates him.

Or at least it did when I was playing. For all I know opinions have changed. But there were lots and lots and lots of criticisms about Connor being emotionless, uninteresting, etc. despite the fact that he...really wasn't? He had a quieter emotional affect: he was generally more measured, more tempered, but that meant that when he raised his voice you knew he meant business. I loved his generally more stoic handling and how powerful that made his more emotive moments, but the fandom just looked at him and said that he had the emotionality of a brick wall and generally dismissed or derided him...in favor of his dad. Who was an upper class British man, cultured, polished, and emotive in familiar ways.

A lot more similar to Ezio, basically.

They latched onto the character that was more similar to the one they'd just spent three whole games with, and that sent the message to Ubisoft that that's what people wanted -- which is why the next three games featured Ezio clones as their protagonists: Edward Kenway, Arno Dorian, and Jacob Frye are all very Ezio-adjacent, though some more successfully pull it off than others. Connor became a failed experiment because people didn't want to bother learning how to read a new character: they just wanted more Ezio.

And that's what immediately comes to mind with Shez bringing on Byleth bashing. People want an emotive avatar for their Fire Emblem game: they don't want someone with a more nuanced emotional affect, they want Brash Shounen Protag, and when one appears they will bash the more nuanced character for being "emotionless" or "not having a personality" (which, for the record, I do think Byleth does have -- seeing how they become more emotive through their Supports in 3H is great, the way they become more expressive in B and A conversation, says a lot to me about how they're willingly adapting to the norms of people around them in order to better interact) when they're just not seeing what they want to see and therefore not paying attention.

Anyway, Shez is fine enough but I still prefer Byleth from all I've seen so far (though I do love Arval being a sassy little shit).

#answered #anonymous #fire emblem: three houses #fire emblem: three hopes #assassin's creed 3 #i do not care for haytham kenway myself #frankly loathe the man #give me more connor any day #shez is fine #byleth is great though #thank you for reading my long-winded rant

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thuviel · 2 years

Note

!!!! Faron 4-6, 17, and 30!! :DDD for Nicodemus 19 and Cyril 12

Faron

4. What secrets do they keep, untold to anyone?

He keeps the fact that he has no idea what he's doing 90% of the time pretty close to his chest. Making such big decisions is genuinely scary to him and he often gets almost paralysed when having to make a choice. He's become really good at stalling decisions in a way that just makes him look thorough and like he's considering all options, which is partly true. He doesn't share this with anyone, he understands that every single person there relies on him to lead them, unafraid, they need him to lead with certainty and strength. And a small part of him is also afraid that if they find out that they put such an incompetent person in charge, the consequences would not be good for him. Historically, things don't go well for elves that have tricked or angered humans in power. He is, of course, way more competent than he actually thinks, and this fear is born out of his deep insecurity in his leadership skills. Luckily, the other Inquisition members recognise his skills better c: 5. How do they feel about magic

He finds it very interesting and fascinating, and definitely impressive as well. But he does have a lot of respect for it too, he knows how dangerous it can be. It blows his mind how magic can be used to manipulate things, even things thought untouchable, like time! And he loves hearing people talk about the intricacies and theory of magic, whenever Dorian or Dagna excitedly talk about how some magical effect works he always listens with fascination.

6. How do they feel about killing

He doesn't like it, he never takes the loss of life lightly. But he also knows that often there is no other choice, and it's something that must be done in order to protect his loved ones, or even the world. That's why he decided to train as an assassin during his time in the Inquisition. If he could learn the quickest and most efficient way to kill, the more likely he was to succeed in keeping everyone safe. But he really does not enjoy the blood on his hands.

17. How do they react to trauma

He goes numb. Not to the feelings that arise, they are raging inside of him, but to everything else around him. And he feels lost. If it was a situation where he was involved, he tends to blame himself and loses all confidence in himself. Depending on how severe the trauma is, he will avoid whatever he associates with the event or the people involved, the reminder of it too painful and bringing up too many emotions. He might slowly return to those things over time, but he has to heal first.

30. What makes them cry

Quite a few things. Feeling lonely. Seeing or hearing about injustice or suffering of others. Seeing an animal suffer. The immense pressure put upon him. Arguments with loved ones. Obviously death of loved ones.

Nicodemus

19. Do they have siblings

Nope, Nicodemus is an only child!

Cyril

12. Do they have hidden talents

They can make a perfect imitation of an owl call ^^

#thank you for asking friend!#faron lavellan #nicodemus #cyril #dnd #too pretty to die #oc #themonstercals #answer #ask game

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violentdelightsandviolentends · 18 days

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first off, i would absolutely love to hear all of your thoughts! second, the beef between carlos and charles fans is actually insane. like omg we get it, you prefer one to the other, that doesnt mean that you talk so much shit about the other!! i feel like they just need to get over themselves, like im such a charles girl but like at the end of the day, i love seeing ferrari succeed. whether that is carlos or charles on podium, just be happy that your fav is actually finishing in points and isnt last. - 🏁 anon

exactly!! and i’m not sure why they’re pitting the ferrari boys against each other now more than ever, because carlos has only got 20 more races and then he’s going, so. f1 twt is crazy man, it’s a scary place sometimes lmao

okay so here are my driver thoughts, based on the actual driving and performances and not personalities/who I like best -

- red bull - i think rb would be silly to let checo go. I don’t feel very strongly about him as a person, but he’s proven time and time again that he can at least get close to max. we know no ones matching max’s level, so being close is the best you can do. checo has had wins and lots of podiums these past couple of years, and has proven that he can drive that car reliably with minimal mistakes. if I was rb, i’d be keeping him. there’s no way i’d trade a reliable driver like checo for danny ric i’m sorry but it doesn’t make sense

- ferrari - i fully understand why they’ve chosen to bring lewis on for 25, but there’s no way they’re not slightly debating their decision at the moment. carlos has been on the podium for 100% of races he’s started this year, and lewis hasn’t even finished top 5. yes maybe it’s the car etc etc but… there’s no way they’re not doubting their choice even a tiny bit. if lewis doesn’t prove himself quickly next year i think there are gonna be some regrets

- mercedes - I don’t know if they’re gonna be able to sign any of the big names. they say they have their eye on carlos, fernando etc but honestly they’re not a desirable team. no one wants to go to a team that’s struggling with the car and has been for years. no one wants to go to the team that’s fucked it all up for a 7 time world champion. alonso said himself the other day that it’d be a downgrade for him. they might sign kimi and try and teach and mould him into a senior driver. signing someone young and new might be their best bet honestly

- VCARB - GIVE LIAM LAWSON THAT GODDAMN SEAT. car issue or not, dannys career has taken a steep decline over the last few years. I just think we’re holding so many young racers back (lawson, doohan, drugovich) to keep the same older ones on the grid, even when they’re not performing. yuki is really shining this year so far, and he’s outshining danny massively. judging by his performances this year and last, I don’t think any teams are gonna want to sign mr ricciardo. if they didn’t want him after mclaren and he’d won in that car… why would they want him now?

- mclaren - obvs the papaya boys are going to be there together until at least 26, so no worries there. but… i hope there’s a car upgrade soon, because at the moment, that doesn’t look like a race winning car to me. it won’t happen (at least not for like 5 years at least), but… dare i say i’d love to see lando in a red bull 🤭. it’s obviously unrealistic but god imagine him in that rocketship of a car, with his talent… same with oscar!! I think if you gave those papayas a better car (it’s decent, don’t get me wrong), they’d be unstoppable

- I don’t think logan or zhou will have seats next year. not too sure about the haas guys… they’re weirdly actually doing okay at the moment. I think that williams seat will definitely be open, so it’ll be very interesting to see who slides into that.

- not sure where carlos will end up honestly. most probably sauber, because they’ll be audi in 26 and his dad has a lot of links there. but, I think he’ll really struggle in that car for 25, because frankly, it’s fucking terrible. I just hope he’s happy with wherever he ends up.

that’s all from me for now 😌 please let me know, my f1 girlies, what you think!! who’s going where? who do you want to go where? let’s talk about it <3

#murphanswers #murph talks f1 #🏁 anon #formula one #formula 1 #f1 #silly season

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kafkaoftherubble · 4 months

Text

年与年之间恍惚的阈限：末夜•旭日•无常

Part of this is cobbled from entries written on Paradehyde, 31st December 2023 at 10.38 p.m., and January 1st, 2024, both shortly after 12 am and 5.18 pm.

We haven't laid out our resolutions for this year. It should be done by this week.

Last year's Lyndises didn't make any resolution; we still didn't feel like the future would include us back then. The Knocking Lady didn't succeed in making any of us do what she really wanted, but she didn't really lose either. The future was tenebrous. Ungraspable. Packed with everyone else except us. There seemed to be no spot for us in the future; the future had overlooked us, we thought. It's like people; no matter how much I'm allowed to be around them, there will come a moment when I cease fulfilling their conditions, and they will leave, or I will fade away from them. It's not even out of malice. It just happens.

It's impermanence. Both the Lyndises and Fionn in the early days of the year already understood this. Hell, we understood this since we were kids. Impermanence. It's as natural as the sun rising and setting.

The year got better. My predecessors were really something. It wasn't really a mistaken boast when one of them declared, almost bitterly, "We always recover without help. We just do."

Though, it would be remiss of us to ignore the one who strived the hardest. "Without help" was a misnomer—this statement is only true if we treat Fionn as do the world out there does: as a non-person delusional existence attached to a person.

---

Last year's New Year Quote, according to Paradehyde, was Albert Camus' "One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

Last year's Word of the Year according to Lyndis of A Few Weeks Ago, was "interdependence." Because "dependent co-arising" was two words; it didn't fit the bill.

The Lyn at the Beginning of 2023 thought this would be "The Year of the White-Haired Boy." She meant Fionn, but the funny thing was that it turned out to be Gojo Satoru who hijacked that narrative. I didn't even realize I liked Satoru this much until that infamous Chapter 236. I could have gone on never knowing. And then he just took up my thoughts. And then I, supposed Dedicated Essayist for To Your Eternity, wrote essays on Jujutsu Kaisen. On Gojo Satoru, who already has a surplus of meta essays and whatnot.

Damn it.

I think another "Totally Trivial and Useless Realization" comparable to this Satoru shit is—okay, don't laugh—that we really, really, really... No wait, I said don't laugh, assholes! Don't laugh!

We really think, I mean, hypothetically... Like if a certain very famous Siddhartha was alive in our times, he might just be a cognitive scientist too. It seems so up his alley. I mean, yea whatever, he could totally become a philosopher and a teacher or something. But cognitive science, man. Come on. Makes too much sense when you really read what he said and thought about.

And I think—as in, I share the same sentiment as that unfortunate Lyndis who realized this while rambling about things with Lyishere—that if he were to be alive at this time, and I somehow got to know him personally... I think I'll like him a lot. I think I'll wanna befriend him and annoy the shit out of him and think about stuff with him and break his arguments apart if I don't think it holds. I would like to watch him all the way to his Awakening. I would like to study him. He would be very interesting to study—

"BRUH DID YOU JUST say your perfect partner is the Buddha?! HOLY SHIT, this is inSANE. OH MY GOD NEVER SAY MY STANDARDS ARE HIGH EVER AGAIN. LIKE MINE IS HIGH BUT NOT THE BUDDHA like bro ATEEZ MOUNTAIN MAN HIMBO CORE WITH OPPENHEIMER IQ IS ACTUALLY MORE NORMAL THAN THIS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK"

Yea. I don't think anyone else needs to know about this. Let's just keep it between us, and Lyi, yea?

Fionn? Nah. He's more like Ananda than Siddhartha. Doesn't stop him from being someone I care about the most in this entire world, though.

---

I really like the days between the years. "Zwischen den Jahren" or something. It's its own liminal space, you know. And we are drawn to liminal spaces like that. It feels like where we seem to belong.

The thing about these days is that it makes for the best time to observe anicca! You watch the days between Christmas and New Year crawl toward finality. If it has been a bad year, it's ending. If it has been a good year, it's ending. If it has been a neutral year, it's ending. Everything ends. Nothing lasts.

And then, at one point, I suddenly felt quite... scared!

2023 started out not too impressive, but it progressively got better. In fact, it ended up being a huge step up from even the years before it. It was really the most bliss we had for a while.

And then, when 2024 came, I suddenly thought—well, who says it's gonna keep getting better? Who says it's gonna plateau in this comfortable stability, either? Everything is impermanent. Good times are impermanent too. Whatever peace I'm feeling right now—it's impermanent. It won't last forever. Something could come and yank it away from me.

And that, Lyndis of the Future, was me forgetting what anicca really means. As eventful or as storied as a moment may be, it will die. As packed with the strongest sentiments we could possibly experience or label—joy or stress or pleasure or pain or rapture or despair—no matter how royally this moment struts on a stage right now... it will drop dead and become history. Being momentous changes nothing. Being nondescript changes nothing.

So, of course the 8-foot Tall Woman jeered at me. I was scared of losing these good days because I grew attached to something impermanent in the first place. She would laugh at Fionn, too, because he tends to grasp on good moments and mope if something he likes is ending—for example, the end of a pleasurable trip would really make him brood.

It's kinda annoying cause' we often are aware of our attachments—that means we are knowingly being dissatisfied/suffering/distressed. Knowingly! It's like already knowing you're gonna hate this game, and you still buy it and play it. It's different from not knowing you'd hate this game and buying it and playing it, ya know.

"There's no fear for one whose mind is not filled with desires," said The Guy We Could Have Been Very Close Friends With Me. Well, we're certainly not without desires, that's for sure.

---

Fionn told me while we were lying on the floor listening to fireworks that though he was still thinking over his resolutions, there was one thing he wanted to continue pursuing: equanimity.

Well, I'm afraid you ain't getting that if you and I can't solve the attachment-to-impermanence problem, man.

The thing, guys, is that his resolutions are our resolutions. It's not a separate enterprise he undertakes on his own while I can undertake my efforts on my own. We are dependently co-arisen. He cannot get to where he wants if we don't help. It's the same in the world outside, between persons despite their supposed independence as human beings. One person cannot succeed without the backing of their closest, immediate environment; that includes the people in their lives.

So his wanting to pursue equanimity means we have to be resolute in that, too. What a drag.

The bigger drag is how, even though we started understanding anicca at a young age, we still grasp. I honestly don't think we have that many excuses.

You can forgive someone who didn't know much about this philosophy for being distressed over their attachments, but we already knew this and verified this through our own experience, over and over, at a young age.

You can forgive Past Lyndises for falling short because they were young, brain-not-matured-yet, inexperienced, and trying hard to survive, yadda-yadda. But I? I have no excuses. I am in a better position than my predecessor in January 2023 already. I am heir to the sum of their knowledge, experience, and thoughts. I honestly have no excuses.

I actually kinda like that. The fact that I have no excuses, I mean. To even arrive at this stage, where I'm living in such an optimal state as to have no excuses, means all of the previous Lyns have been skillful. They had, despite their circumstances, acted skillfully enough that now I am reaping the benefits! Isn't that swell? They planted causes that allow me good effects. Kamma done well, y'all. That's affirming shit right there!

I wouldn't want to let my Future Lyns down.

I wouldn't want to let Fionn down.

---

Emotions like anger and anxiety aren't permanent. I mean, they always seem permanent when they are happening, but that's an illusion. They cease on their own, ya know.

The reason why they don't cease, one of Past Us realized, is because you consciously or unconsciously extend them beyond their longevity.

Think of them as a flame on a candle. Before the flame dies out—which it will on its own—you keep lighting new candles with this flame. So the original candle of anxiety is dead, and yet new ones continue its existence... similar to a rebirth. You keep lighting new candles each time the old one is on its way out.

So this emotion is sustained. It looks like a blazing field, but if you look closely, it's really a sea of candles. And if you are heedful enough to refrain from lighting new candles, then you'll see even the strongest emotion die on its own course. That's just impermanence doing its work.

I wonder if this is, oddly enough, one solution for the impermanence of... well, bliss? Joy? What was that phrase again? Dittha-dhamma-sukha-vihara? Abiding in ease, here and now?

Anyway, lighting up candles with the flame of Ease before it die would mean sustaining Ease beyond its expiry date, right?

But Fionn raised a good point: I have to be really heedful of what candle to light, because if I accidentally light the ones of passion and excess joy, then I'll be stuck in a frenzy of lighting them forever before the flames run out.

It's got to do with dopamine. The pain in the death of "Good Times" is really the effect of lowered dopamine levels. The stronger the reduction, the stronger the crash. And dopamine acclimates itself to prolonged rewards and sets it as its new normal; it's how a brain functions. Something great will become merely good over time.

If I light the wrong candles, then I will lock myself into a constant fear of the flames blowing off, i.e. the crash of dopamine. The candles of passion are always getting shorter and shorter as dopamine acclimates itself to rewards, so I'll have to scramble to find more and more "arousing" (longer) candles to light. But that raises the "normal" dopamine level to even greater heights, making its crash even more terrifying and painful should it happen. I will only be even more scared.

Do you see what Fionn and I are seeing? We'll be enslaved by this fear. I'll be doomed to this Sisyphean work of lighting candles and stressing over when the crash is coming. It will be worse than Sisyphus's Rock-Rolling, because the slope keeps getting steeper, the rock larger, and the summit taller.

Sooner or later, not even the candles themselves will become joy. They will just morph into anxieties as if fucking Mahito had touched them and Mui Tenpen the shit out of them.

That's so unskillful! 嫌だ！

----

Which comes back to the question: what are we supposed to do?

Well... "What are we really trying to achieve" is a good question, I suppose:

Are we trying to extend a feeling of joy, or the longevity of "good things," beyond its expiry?

Or are we trying not to fear the impermanence of good things?

Which is it?

The more skillful goal seems to be the second one, methinks. The first is just good old "attachment" cosplaying as noble intent. Besides, the second goal is related to equanimity itself.

Oh, this is great! A good question to ponder during meditation! It will get us a tad bit closer to Fionn's resolution! Yes, this is a good start!

#a piece to the rubble

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surgicallabor · 7 months

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Everybody, supposedly Petra Müllejans, with a maybe unfortunately “irresponsible,” maybe “under the influence,” also possibly “lazy” and careless excuse, or so, set my life to get increasingly worse. The people monitoring me in private get dizzy. “People have died,” they seem to have vocalized. Although, they meant older people who started this experimenting on me sometime. Yea, it was like bait. I was interested because I wanted to talk to people and they offered that I have a new life, then that I was always like this, etc. etc. It’s like the whole world did it I guess but I didn’t really pay attention all the time because I was in one place. What it was was that I was like younger and I would be petite and start ballet and singing I guess again. I had a family I didn’t know, and I was “the baby” and yea everyone adored me but I was also supposed to be comfortable and not disrespected like by my dad‘s “custody.” Also, this isn’t really as good but they said my group singing teacher was going to have me move in and she would pick me up every day and make me feel good. She was also the one watching me all the time, like with her treadmill. Are used to sit in my room and talk to them by writing letters and using like stick figure type pictures and stuff. I was pretty smart, you know when my own way. I have lots of sheets, and when Hurricane Katrina finally happened to New Orleans it’s like the floor was covered with him, but they weren’t supposed to be very much to worry about. It’s not as good as the book I wrote in in Cleveland, which I still have. Do you know it’s funny I started to hear things when I was in Cleveland like in the air outside, but other things happened to me. Also, it’s like if it didn’t happen to me, then it could’ve happened to me later. They weren’t really as feisty Up North has all the people in the area of New Orleans I was in in the summer after my first year of college even though they all said they didn’t mind that it was me, and that they actually go in and take turns and watch and stuff. I don’t know why, but I saw them. Connor coordinating their clothes all the time like because of me but I think they started it and I was suspicious, but I think I’m the one who’s in trouble for some reason I don’t really know. Maybe it’s because I didn’t succeed? I didn’t want to do it. I’m glad I could do it but I am pretty sad that nothing better actually happened in real life yet, and then people ask me to do them a favor like I never was nice to them or they trusted me. Now it’s all about if you pleasured younger people but not in a bad way. I was always told in my head better not to since I’m half Chinese. So, maybe other people can learn? I know maybe people care about me but I’m kind of stuck how I am and not sure what would fix this. I’m not really sure what to do at the moment or in the near future, etc. It’s no use sending me online just to figure out if I can get racially categorized because I guess no one cares if I am the one who cares about it. I don’t really know maybe every race but maybe. Indonesians might be more like Africans, and I’m pretty good regarding being Middle Eastern. You know I am half Asian. That sounds like a good idea, I don’t have money to advertise it like on TV like and make a forum. I dunno, they might want me to use my brain to start feeding the poor cock.

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tablestoastandtime · 2 years

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I've been thinking a lot about the kinda of stories I like to tell, and the things that are important to me, and the ideas that I like exploring, so I'm gonna rant about those for a bit. if you actually follow my big WIP Take It Back Now Y'all, I guess this could sort of count as spoilers. also i might talk about the process of writing some of my other stuff and one-shots

if i had to wrap up the concept that's rattling around in my head that compels me to write more often than not, i think i'd say its the Irreversible. which is ironic, as a guy writing a time travel fix-it fic, as a guy with a soft spot for fix-its in general. but i think part of why i like the trope is because despite the fix there are still Effects? despite the Big Problem being solved, that doesn't actually make everything okay, that doesn't actually heal everyone, it doesn't actually make everything better

because some choices, some actions, some experiences are inescapable. Something Has Happened, and now all you can do is live with it. Something Has Happened, and you can fight it and try to change it, but even if you succeed it will still have happened and you'll always know what it was like. Something Has Happened, and now you aren't the person you used to be, now you're something you never wanted to be but you've forgotten how to be anything else. Something Has Happened, and you can forgive but you can never forget even if you want to more than anything. Something Has Happened And Now

its denoument and the end of the hero's journey and its what if there was never a way out at all? the plot might be over but you can't escape the story even when its done with you and you're long done with it. its why i love the structure of tragedies

but its also related to why i'm kind of bad at writing them. because you don't get to stop just because its happened. you don't get to stop just because you're terrified and alone and mourning. the world doesn't end just because yours did. i like protagonists that fight the dark, that believe in helping people and collaboration, and not only want the best for others but are willing to actively pursue it. its wish fulfillment, to some extent. give someone pain and watch them turn it into foundations, lessons, stardust. its a magic trick that i can't quite look away from

and yet, the tragedy

pain that never ends, a loss that cannot be replaced, grief like a pocket sealed shut with gum. the tragedy has to happen, for the magic trick to work. i don't know how to build hope without the framework of despair.

i've never pretended that my writing isn't often me dealing with some idea or feeling i want to wriggle my way through. i don't exactly talk about it because its rarely relevant to the explicit contents of my work, but its almost always there. my first Tim Drake story, Bird is the Word, was both an exploration of an element of canon i found interesting, and also me trying to practice the kind of empathy where you see why people could choose to say or believe things about you that hurt. the counterbalance to that was the idea of someone that really knows and trusts you.

the follow-up, Takes A Lot of Time, is incredibly self-indulgent for all that i pretended i wrote it because people asked. to cut out what the internet doesn't need to know, i have an older brother who hurt me very badly. we both know it. he apologized, once, when we'd both been drinking and i don't really remember it and now we don't talk about it. sometimes i want him to explain why he did what he did and tell me he's sorry for hurting me so much i could scream. i wrote an older brother that did exactly that.

hell, the D:BH fic that i started and that has been collecting dust for years now was fundamentally about me wrestling with my own moral code and how i saw myself in relation to it and the people around me. most of my writing is as much about me as it is about anything else.

which leaves me wondering sometimes, what is it exactly that i think is What Happened and how am i going about living with it. am i a tragedy that i'm writing like a fix-it? or is it the other way around?

just to be clear, obviously people aren't stories and no one's life is a narrative because that's not how the world works, but they are useful tools and lenses and i'm not exactly good with my hands so i've kind of gotta take what i can get, y'know?

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anghraine · 2 years

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I saw a post the other day about tropes, and it got me thinking about how often people talk about how X canon isn’t just relying on tropes, it’s subverting them because it doesn’t replicate the tropes in a simplistic, uncritical way. And I feel like this binary between subversion and simplistic repetition is neither fair nor really accurate.

There’s an implication (and sometimes outright statement) that subverting tropes is better and smarter than using them in any other way. And I think this is a large part of why people can be so eager to claim that their favourite thing isn’t like the other ones, it’s a subversion because it actually explores the trope rather than just replicating it.

And that’s got problems on two fronts. For one, subverting a trope =/= subverting a trope well. It’s not inherently better or more thoughtful or whatever, though it has some cultural legitimacy in some contexts that people try to seize. For another, using a trope without ultimately subverting it doesn’t have to be simplistic and uncritical. It’s possible to ask questions about how the trope would work in the world or how it might really affect people without undercutting it the way that subversion does. More simply put, you can explore a trope without subverting it.

Personally, I think a lot of Chosen One tropes that people claim as subversions are doing this. But the example that leaps to mind isn’t that—it’s one of my favourite characters of all time.

Backing up a little: a popular trope in (at least) eighteenth-century English fiction was the figure of a powerful (usually well-born), virtuous, and highly competent man capable of great feeling. The type is sometimes called ‘Grandisonian’ after Samuel Richardson’s idealized Sir Charles Grandison, though he also shows up in women’s novels, like Lord Orville in Frances Burney’s Evelina.

And my fave is one of these guys, though an even more famous one: Fitzwilliam Darcy from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. But he’s much more complex, because Austen essentially asks how someone who has almost everything—money, land, birth, intelligence, looks, principles, good reputation, competence, the affection of everyone he cares about up to this point, the list goes on—is going to be influenced by those things.

He’s aware of them; he could hardly not be. It makes him arrogant—not only in his snobbishness, but in his over-confidence in his own judgment, will, and righteousness. Sometimes he’s a snarky asshole, especially when he’s uncomfortable (but not only then). And he makes serious mistakes!

But. The ultimate revelation is not that Darcy’s Grandisonian sense of himself was purely a self-serving facade or whatnot, but that it’s rooted in very real virtue that manifests—has always manifested—in his conduct towards those most vulnerable to him. People often downplay Mrs Reynolds’s testimony and focus on Darcy’s self-improvement, but in Austen’s treatment, knowing how Darcy has treated his servants, his tenants, his dependent sister, is absolutely essential to who he is and has always been as a person, and to Elizabeth’s understanding of him.

Austen was interested in the sort of flaws that a more realistic Grandisonian type might have and how (as a good person) he would try to overcome them once he grasps that they exist. It’s Austen, so sometimes he (amusingly) doesn’t succeed, but morally what matters is that a) he’s working on them and b) he was already a basically virtuous person anyway. That is, she’s exploring the trope of the Grandisonian hero in a more complex way than it was often treated, but in essentials, Darcy still fits the trope. He’s not a simple or uncritical take on it, but it would be a major stretch to call him a subversion of it.

If you want a subversion of the trope, otoh, there’s something like William Godwin’s Caleb Williams, where the idealized landowner turns out to be a murderer who relentlessly torments the hero, and the very qualities that made the landowner easy to idealize are what lead him to villainy. Or for something later, there’s Frances Trollope’s One Fault, which has the heroine marry a superficially Darcy-like figure who turns out to be a horrifying domestic tyrant.

But, honestly, while I like both of those books, the subversive takes on That Guy strike me as less complex and remarkable than Austen’s achievement with Darcy. There are a lot of ways to explore familiar tropes and those ways can be just as sophisticated and thoughtful as good subversions (and better than poor ones!). We don’t need to claim that every complex use of a trope is actually subversive for it to be worthwhile in its own right.

#anghraine babbles #general fanwank #tropes #subversion #austen blogging #lady anne blogging #anghraine's meta #fitzwilliam darcy

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