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tansyuduri · 3 days

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Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E3

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. THE MARK OF NIMUEH!

Gaius saying that people must not see this and they would panic is likley NOT just because this looks magical as hell. See we know from later episodes that while Gaius has mastered herb lore for many ailments and injuries and anatomy as well (This is also important as it also hints that Christianity has not spread and thus it being forbidden to cut up human bodies to learn how they work is not a thing.) He and thus likly Camalot in general still base medicine on the Humors System.

This system attributed most illness to an imbalance of the four bodily fluids or humors. (Worth looking up if you wanna know more) NOW since in the system everyone has a diferant balance of humors it could explain individual illnesses A LOT BETTER than many plagues (Why would everyone suddenly have the same imbalance of the Humors) This would usually lead to the idea that an individual's chance to get or die from the plage was due to preestablished susceptibility to the plague (explained later) Or the heavens being angry. WHY PLAUGE HAPPENS usually was attributed to Miasma (explained later in post) or the heavens being angry. AND YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE THINKING THE HEAVENS ARE ANGRY.

Gaius is VERY ahead of his time in medicine by thinking that illness could be spread though air, food, or water later on. It hints that despite the humors system being in use medical understanding is more advanced in Camalot then it was most of the medieval ages. This is very possibly due to the fact that despite killing sorcerers (Or perhaps Gaius being an exception because he learned pre purge.)

Old pagan knowledge of herbs had not been crushed. AND what's more no one was going around murdering regular herbalists ETC suspecting they were evil magic users, Mostly because they had REAL magic users to hunt. Still the spread by water air or food we see mentioned later is WAY Ahead of its time.

Okay Gwen giving her father smoked pigeon as a seeminly every day meal perhaps continues my conept of Gwens father being a HIGHLY skilled blacksmith that serves the knights.

Meat was a rarity for the medieval commoner (We see this a lot in what Gaius and Merlin eat reguarly. Meat is a treat for them.) Pigeons were likely not eaten widely as anything but wild meat until the Norman period. Which means someone had to hunt and kill that bird. Which means this meat was bought or traded for. Which means Gwens family had the money for treats beyond the bare essentials (If we ignore history due to the show's anachronism we still have to compare this to Giaus and Merlin's usual food. (I know they talk about dresses later when he gets a really good job but we'll talk about that then. I'm also assuming this is everyday fare for them based on how they act.)

Okay its time to talk about how Gaius and Merlin talk about disease spreading through water or contact or food is HUGELY Advanced for its time. See from the forth centery BCE to the early 1800s CE Disease was a result of the humors, The anger of the Heavens, or Miasma (bad air emitting from rotten organic matter or other things.) This means that despite humorism being the main theory there is SOME understanding in the Merlin world that disease can be spread many ways. I really don't think they have germ theory though so I think they are just more advanced.

"He's got a grave Mental disease" AHHHH OKAY! So this means the Merlin world has a concept of Mental illness and that it's different from regular body illnesses. And this knowlage is common. Again this is HUGLY advanced for the time. So Humorism is the main theory! BUT They have concepts like infection, Mental illness, and an understanding disease can come from many places. All I can think is that this comes from having Magic in the world. And being able to actually study Anatomy. The people of the Merlin world understand the world better than most because they have more tools to study the world.

Okay so I love how Merlin plays fast and loose with magical creatures. (Especially because I can too writing my Merlin fics) I think the Afanc might be based PARTLY on the folklore Afanc but also had a bit of the Jewish Gollum in it with the born of clay thing. ANYHOW The Afanc is a creature from Welsh Mythology Its a lake monster that most closely resembles a crocadile, beaver, dwarf. It prayed on swimmers mostly or people who fell in water. There is a lot more but it is interesting that some Legends say King Arthur killed it!

Okay! So! see this candle!? This was a historical early method of keeping time. Each mark would be about an hour and as the candle burned down one would know the hours had passed! OPnce gunpower showed up they would sometimes put a bit in each hour as an alarm of sorts! I don't think this is a Gunpowder version!

So yeah this came from greek philosophy and was a thing for most of european history. The elements Water, Fire, Earth, and Air. were viewed as the building blocks of the world. Originaly air was viewed as Aether and filled the world in the absence of the other three. But in the Merlin world it is definitely Air as it's is later called wind. (Aether later came to represent heaven or the spirit as a 5th element)

These also related to Humorism discused before

Saying The Afanc born of earth and water can be killed with fire and air is one of two times the four elements get brought up in relation to magic in the series. (The other refers to a healing charm.)

Most other sorcerer created creatures we see can just be killed with fire and are not specifically corresponded to any element. This leads to the idea that this is kinda a rare thing. WHAT I do find interesting is that we KNOW the four elements correspond to certain types of healing in the Merlin universe (like I said other mention refers to a healing charm) And the Afanc is spreading magical disease. THAT might be why the elements are mentioned only here when it comes to magic-created creatures.

I find the wording here realy interesting because it talks about mirroring the spirit of life, not creating it. I'll have to contrast it with later talk about the spirit of life and death but this kinda implies even anciant sorcerers on their own can only MIRROR life not create it. Its not real life they make. Even Merlin's spell to create a butterfly at the end of the show means "to work, shape, bring into being or form" according to @catsconflictscopicsandchamomile My old English studying friend! (it is also used in OE translations of Genisis to mean make a life so it could mean Merlin is creating life and mirroring god, but if he could do that why not just bring Arthur back) SO it is likely this holds fast to the rule life cannot just be created!

HOLD ON. Is he just referring to Arthur's birth? It could just be Arthur's birth and his efforts through the purge, or has Nimueh pulled evil magic on Camelot post purge before?

#lore #merlin lroe #merlin #bbc merlin #merlin loregasm rewatch #merlin rewatch #merlin bbc #merlin lore rewatch

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mama-mera · 4 months

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okay you know what? I think it's time for me to take advantage of the release of the Percy Jackson series to talk a little about the relationship between the Greek and Roman gods, because I have a feeling that we're going to have a new generation of people who are convinced that the Romans "stole" the gods of the Greeks and... um, I feel the need to talk and analyze this thing with you. Because the matter is much more complicated than you think

Like SERIOUSLY, the pjo fandom and Greco-Roman mythology enthusiasts in general need this chat.

First of all it is important to understand how the Italic populations came into contact with Greek culture, and who the first Romans were.

Southern Italy (Sicily, Calabria, Campania and Puglia) was colonized by the Greeks since the 8th century BC.

Like any colonization, the local population had to adapt to the culture, religion and language of the colonizer (in Italy there are still two dialects coming from ancient Greek. Griko in Puglia, and Grecanico in Calabria). Every part of the territory considered Magna Graecia (Megàle Hellàs) presents archaeological finds relating to the Greek colonies, and with them also temples dedicated to the gods. (So much so that in Sicily, at the beginning of spring the Antesphorie (or antephorie) were celebrated in honor of Demeter and Persephone, for example).

The entire Etruscan pantheon was strongly influenced by the Greek one. The indigenous deities were joined by the Hellenic ones, creating a new religion.

But still: who were the Romans? The legend of the foundation of Rome refers to Romulus and Remus, but from an archaeological point of view the Romans were probably the result of a mixture of Latin, Sabine (plus Samnites and Sabelli*) and Etruscan peoples. The latter influenced the initial Roman Pantheon the most. Just think of the similarities between the Etruscan goddess Menrva/Menerva and the Roman goddess Minerva.

The same applies to Maris and Mars, who among other things share holidays in March (a month dedicated to them moreover).

Unfortunately there is not much information on the Sabine and Latin ethnic group, but it is known for certain that Etruscans had contact with Magna Graecia, and the Greeks in general, so their culture was never unknown to the Romans.

So what does this tell us? That the Italic populations knew the Greek Pantheon, because they had been colonized and/or influenced by the Greeks. The first Romans can't exactly steal something that's already part of their culture.

*Samnites, Sabelli and Sabines were part of the same ethnic group, and although all three groups can generally be called "Sabines", I preferred to specify. At the same time it is not known how involved the Picenes and Irpinians were initially with the birth of Rome, so I have not mentioned them.

#it was a very quick and not very in-depth post #but it's late and I just needed to vent about this #if you want to make a joke about the Romans stealing religion from the Greeks that's completely ok #I do it too!!#but I think it is important to understand what really happened in the early period of Roman history #the Romans didn't wake up one morning thinking “you know what I should really do? steal a random religion”#the historical context is much more complex than what one might commonly think #and I understand that in schools outside italy there is no interest in explaining the phenomena that led to the birth of the Roman religion #but in doing so in my opinion it creates a great confusion that could be avoided #did the Romans assimilate numerous religions throughout their history? absolutely #just look at what happened with the Egyptian and Mithras #it wasn't a question of cultural appropriation but more of “I pray to all the gods that exist so no one can get angry with me”#greek myth #greek mythology #roman myth #roman mythology #roman history #greek history #pjo #pjo series #please learn about the Etruscan gods because they are much cooler than the Greek and Roman versions

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ambrosiagourmet · 3 months

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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:

So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.

In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.

At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.

And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.

Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.

If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.

We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:

So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.

Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."

So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.

However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.

Isn't that the same thing?

No, no it very much is not.

Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:

Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.

But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.

If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.

Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.

Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.

Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.

We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.

And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.

So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.

It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.

And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:

Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.

And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.

We see her choose to come back to life.

And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:

Do you want to eat more?

There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.

When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.

But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.

And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.

It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #dunmeshi analysis #I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you #and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of #but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living.#and you can #dungeon meshi spoilers

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a-not-so-clean-blog · 11 days

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Nu carnival x ftm period

Mentions of blood, general pain, dysphoria, and drugs

♦️Garu, Aster, Morvay

Yakumo

Boy is comforting by nature and he will do anything in his power to make you feel better. Warm soup, mint tea, any kind of comfort food; he'll make it all for you. If he needs to he will even fight the awkwardness and ask his grandma for advice on how to make “someone” on their period feel better. He knows better than to out you to anybody, even to the people he trusts most. He just wants you to feel better.

Edmond

He's going to need some help. He heard that people like chocolate when this happens so he gets you expensive chocolate confections from your favorite bakery. If he's not too busy he might make some with you. Quality time is important to him and he wants you to know he's here to support you even if he's too awkward to express it with words. He will make time to try and comfort you as much as he can but it will be in all non verbal ways.

Olivine

He will pray for your recovery. He sympathizes with you, he understands how much his essence imbalance hurts him so it makes sense that your hormone imbalance hurts you. It hurts him seeing you so uncomfortable and him not being able to help. He really doesn't want to leave you alone and it hurts him when he can't be by you to help. Even if it's simply grabbing something for you he wants to take as much of your burden as he can.

Quincy

Quincy is big and I think he's very warm too, especially his right hand because of the gem. He cuddles up to you and uses himself as a hot water bottle. Resting his hand on your stomach and letting you use him as a pillow. If you have any kind of mood shifts he takes it in stride. It kind of reminds him of dealing with a cat; wanting pets one moment and biting his hand the next. It doesn't bother him much though and it's nice having a grounding personality like his around while you wait out the pain. He probably offers some natural pain killers if it gets bad.

Kuya

He has a herb that he gives you to help. You don't know what the plant is but it helps. All the pain and discomfort are gone but it makes you feel weird in the head. You've tried finding the plant but no book or even Quincy knows what it is. Kuya just tells you not to worry about it and enjoy not being in pain. You should probably be more weary of him but the herb works so well that you can't really say no.

Blade

He freaks out when you tell him you're bleeding. He thinks you're injured and immediately goes into protection mode. You have to explain it happens to some guys monthly. That's satisfactory for his curiosity for now. It's best to just tell him what helps you manage pain. If you don't he will take the initiative to look up what will help…and he will want you to try the weirdest home remedies. So unless you want him asking you to put a frozen potato wedge cover in sesame oil in your underwear, I suggest being open with him very early. It's so hard to say no to his puppy eyes when he's just trying to help.

Garu

This gets a little weird so continue with caution. He smells it right before you start bleeding and it scares him the first time. It hurts your heart to have him look at you so worried for a week. You know he's just concerned but honestly it doesn't help the dysphoria at all.

Karu

He is confused. Normally if something is causing you pain he just breaks it. Like when you stubbed your toe on the table, no more table no more problem. However he can't just rip your guts out, that would just make more of a problem. He tends to keep his distance unless you give him a specific task, once the task is over he's going back to keeping his distance though.

Dante

He is no help. Honestly he has no idea what to do. Normally the guys he's around only bleed when they are stabbed, but at least he knows how to dress a stab wound. This however, is out of his league. When this time starts he will assign a personal assistant to you to help. They have full permission to get you literally anything you need. Dante doesn't want to know about periods and assumes you don't want anyone to know about yours either, so your assistant is also sworn to secrecy.

Rei

No help in the beginning. I don't think he's been around many AFAB people so you are going to be his first reference point. After this happens a few times though he actually figures out the best ways to help you. He will learn what makes you feel better in terms of painkillers vs muscle relaxers, he learns if any foods make you feel worse and avoids them. Yeah he treats it like an experiment but as long as it helps in the long run he doesn't think it matters. Also he memorized all the early signs and is fully prepared for when it actually starts. I'm not sure how skilled he is with a scalpel (or if you can trust him with a scalpel) but he may offer to remove the problem if you want.

Eiden

I think he's the only one on this list who truly understands how much this week triggers your dysphoria. He will do anything he can help physically, but he is also extra protective of your masculinity during this time. He will literally fight anyone who misgenders you, and makes sure to give you lots of compliments. “Y’know most guys can't handle pain as well as you do. I've even seen knights cry at the sight of a paper cut haha!” He's very proud of you and will make sure you know just how manly you are.

Aster

Also kinda nasty so read at your own risk…. “Free meal”. He uh, gets pretty excited when it happens. He tells you stuff like “you look so handsome today~” and other masc compliments but it's all a ploy to get in your pants. Honestly he's more pushy than Morvay is when you're bleeding. It's just that the constant smell of your blood is impossible for him to ignore. He helps with pain management but is really only invested in the clean up.

Morvay

He heard an orgasm helps with cramps… this is the only thing he will do to help, but being a service bottom he does it so well. He will bring you food in bed, let you eat, make you cum till you can't see straight and pass you, rinse and repeat for a week. He gets so pouty if you leave because “doctor Morvay” just wants to make you feel better.

#i think these headcanons cursed me because ya boy is having stomach pain now #a degenerate writes #Nu carnival Yakumo #nu carnival Edmond #nu carnival olivine #nu carnival Quincy #nu carnival Kuya #nu carnival Garu #nu carnival Dante #nu carnival Rei #nu carnival Aster #nu carnival Morvay #nu carnival Eiden #nu carnival x reader #nu carnival #x ftm #ftm reader #tw periods #♦️

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katsukiizmoon · 11 months

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Fanfiction Writing / Reading

Hi everyone, I wanted to make a little post on general fanfiction writing and reading etiquette etc for everyone. For reference I've been writing fanfiction since I was 12, I'm now nearing 23 and I've been on tumblr since 2013. There's links to resources for those that would like them.

-> GENERAL ADVICE

Color Coding Dialogue On Tumblr: While using color can create visual contrast in things like titles or description, using it to color code dialogue can cause problems for those who are neurodivergent or vision impaired. For instance, I have trouble reading things where the dialogue for one character is bright in color. This means I miss out and can't read and support many new writers.

Showing support for your writers: I don't think demanding reblogs is an appropriate response. However, as someone who has been here for a long time, it's important. You can show your support by commenting, liking, reblogging (and reblogging with tags gives brownie points). Generally : liking will be lost in a sea of likes over time making it harder for you to find that fic again but shows you thought it was good, reblogging shows you enjoyed the fic enough to share it with those on your blog (you can even have a side blog dedicated to fics) and would like to find it again, reblogging with tags or comments says that you enjoyed it enough to share it, push it higher in the tags and that you had thoughts. This helps motivate writers ! Feel free to send them an anonymous ask if you're shy, expressing that you really enjoyed their work.

Use of italics and bold in works: Italics and bold should be used to indicate stressing or importance of certain words. EX: "no you did it!" vs "no you did it" ! You don't need to italic entire dialogue unless it's in certain situations (flashbacks, memories, whispers, etc)

Plotting & Timing: Plot and timing can be a really useful tool! Understanding what your characters are doing and having the plot move smoothly is important when writing. It prevents gaps and promotes interest. Even some of my works move a little too fast, and it can sometimes cause confusion.

READ, READ, READ: Reading is probably the fastest way to increase and broaden your horizons as an author. It allows you to gain a larger vocabularic range and new metaphors. And it helps you find what could be plot holes and more.

SMUT ; Cum Timing: I've written this before, it can happen but it's unlikely. I'll make a whole post dedicated to.. smut. But for now. Here's some other scenarios and miscellaneous notes: -> bottom cums really early on, then the top cums later -> top cums extremely early on, proceeds with oral on bottom -> top can't get it up (this happens a bit with drugs involved) for a while and gives pleasure to bottom, then stops and gives up on an orgasm

Those are a few of my main, overall tips but I'm going to link you to a bunch of resources, too. I understand more than anyone what it's like being new to this. But one of the biggest pieces advice I'm going to give you is:

Allow your writing to be objectively "bad" at first. It always comes with practice. My first fanfictions I used "~" like it was a goddamn period. It's okay.

-> RESOURCES

"writing resources : words are hard"

"describing feelings, emotions, and tone"

"au prompt list"

"how to write medieval smut"

"starting a new paragraph"

"writing resources: world building"

"writing fight scenes"

"ways to further develop main characters"

There are tons of writing blogs on tumblr. You can send them an ask anonymously if you have any questions and they may respond with some good resources. Being a little more on the accurate side, even if you accidentally fuck up a bit, gives you brownie points a LOT.

Have a nice day OwO !

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wen-kexing-apologist · 6 months

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Reflections in Last Twilight

Alright, I was not really planning on writing analysis on for Last Twilight, at least not this early in the game. But my dearly beloved @dribs-and-drabbles has called to me like Beetlejuice to analyze the use of reflections in this show. Which means i have been summoned, which means, it is time to bust out the meta.

Now, having just looked back through both Episode 1 and Episode 2, there have not been that many instances of reflections in Last Twilight so far, though the ones we have had already are definitely memorable. So let’s get in to it.

Episode 1

Intro Sequence

I’m not going to talk about the reflections off the fish tank here because the actual scene they are tied to comes in Episode 2 and I think there will be a whole lot more to say then. But I do want to acknowledge that we will be getting reflections at the beginning of every episode, and that Aof is already establishing the important symbolism of fish and jasmine.

The first actual reflection we get in Last Twilight comes in the form of Mhok in the side mirror of his sister Rung’s car.

Rung's car has been sitting in Pae's garage for a year at this point. It would be gathering dust if Pae hadn't spent time over the course of that year meticulously maintaining her vehicle. In fact, that is the very first thing we see happen in this workshop. Pae taking car of Rung's car in her and Mhok's sted. Taking care of this car was not his job, we can assume that he did not anticipate the time commitment that would come with maintaining possession of Rung's car while Mhok was in jail, but he has set himself up to task and gone, in my opinion, above and beyond what was expected of him by continuing to maintain her car.

Pae is surprised when Mhok hands him the spare key and says Pae can sell the car. Mhok at this point is in the anger stage of grief. He blames Rung for her death, and wants to absolve himself of the grief and guilt by maintaining the idea that Rung was to blame and to try to rid himself of any and all reminders of his sister. Mhok, as we know, is incredibly alone. His mother died when they were young, his sister has died, he is no longer associated with his friends/coworkers from his old shop after they all got arrested, and he hides as much as he can from Pae. Mhok has Phorjai and Phorjai only as any sort of support system, and she's his ex-girlfriend, so I don't think we need to go too in depth to acknowledge the complications there.

Mhok wants to forget his grief, his pain, and I appreciate greatly that Pae won't let him do that. That Pae knows Mhok enough to understand that the second that Pae sells that car, Mhok is going to regret letting it go. So he extends another six months grace period to let Mhok actually think it over. Mhok looks over the car, at the bandaid that Rung put on the little scratch she got her first day owning the car, in the glove compartment where all the handouts for her failed budiness are. And Pae allows Mhok a minute alone, in the dark of his sister's car.

At which point we get the reflection. Now, personally I think Jimmy has some work to do as an actor, which means it feels harder for me to accurately read Mhok's face/emotional state. But, for me, here, Mhok looks *tired*, but most importantly, he is trapped in the frame of the side mirror, he is stuck in the dark, and he is alone. In just one small frame, Aof is showing us the aspects of Mhok's character that will help him recognize himself in Day, and tell us why Mhok needs the relationship he has (or will have) to Day.

This is the only actual reflection we see in Episode 1.

But I do want to comment on the end of the episode, like everyone else has, about part of the *The Little Prince* reading that Mhok does at the end. Namely the line "what is essential is invisible to the eye".

I don't think, in a show with going blind as a part of its central theme that we really *need* to look deeper in to the significance/meaning of this line. But because I have been asked to talk about reflections, I want to go a little overboard on the line reading here. Because, day to day we can't see ourselves, right? We wouldn't know exactly what we look like if we couldn't look in to a mirror. Mirrors, reflections, are often a subject of insecurity, providing us the opportunity to pick at every flaw. In mirrors, dancers can watch and correct themselves, their body positions, tweak their choreography based on what they see that they normally would not be able to. Actors can practice facial expressions in the mirror, figure out how they have to hold themselves to make their emotions believable. In horror movies, mirrors show us what lurks in the background, in spy movies it shows us what exists around the corner. And in our deepest moments of guilt or shame, facing ourselves in the mirror becomes a challenge.

I don't want to get too ahead of myself on predictions about this show and what Aof is planning on doing with it, but personally I think the use of mirrors/reflections is a perfect way to show what is essential and invisible to the eye. Mhok is not looking at himself in the mirror here, and if we were standing in the room with him, we would not be able to see his face at all. But the side mirror of Rung's car allows us to see what Mhok is thinking and feeling. But he isn't looking in the mirror himself. He isn't and hasn't started facing or confronting his own grief, isolation, or pain. I don't know that Mhok is as of yet capable of seeing what he needs to change in his own life, because he hasn't reflected on his own life.

Episode 2

The first "reflection" we get in Episode 2 is not really a reflection, at least in the traditional sense, but I do still want to talk about it. I am of course talking about the selfie with Aon.

Mostly because I wanted to acknowledge that to me, a photo is a kind of reflection in that you can both look back at yourself and also reflect on the memory of the time. To be honest, I don’t know exactly how I feel about Aon taking this picture of Mhok, because he takes it for the Society for the Blind. But how are they using it? Is this evidence that Mhok is here and doing what he said he will, or is this going to be used in marketing of some sort? Either way, it is capturing a moment in time that Mhok could one day look back on to reminisce about the beginning of his relationship with Day.

And here Mhok is with someone else, a second person to accompany him where before he just had himself. But this is fake, this is quick, this is right after Mhok has just been shut out of all proceedings between Aon and Day. Mhok doesn’t know what’s happening before he is being told to smile for the camera. And if anyone were to see this photo, they would see a very happy Aon and a decently confused Mhok, but they would have no idea how limited a connection to Aon, Mhok would have had at this point.

The next reflection is a bit difficult to see, but it comes during the conversation Day has with Mhok about the eye drops, where he explains he can see more clearly right after he uses them. In this scene, Day is talking to Mhok while keeping his gaze affixed to the lone goldfish in his increasingly grimier tank.

Mhok and Day have a brief conversation about whether or not the fish is lonely since it is the only one in the tank, and Day brushes it off by saying that goldfish have short memory and that it couldn’t possibly be lonely.

But, whenever we see Day on screen here, we see his reflection in the glass of the tank. And there are a few great moments during this conversation where the goldfish sits directly in front of Day’s reflection. To me it feels like a memory, a ghost, or a projection, and we know by the end of Episode 2, (if we haven’t picked up on it already from the title sequence or how heavily goldfish imagery has features in the promotional material for this show) that the goldfish is a stand in for Day himself.

So I love the fact that we get this wisp of an image of Day’s face in the tank, like he’s trapped inside of it. Because we know that in a way he is. And the other thing I love about this, or rather about the fact that this goldfish is meant to symbolize Day himself, is that watching this goldfish is what brings Day the most joy at the moment.

I love that because it shows me that there is hope and joy still left in Day, if he can just take the time to look at himself a little differently.

OKAY it’s time for the Big Boys.

Our first instance of an actual reflection off a mirror in Episode 2 happens when Mhok is trying to check in with Day after Day runs away from Night’s friends. Mhok has said that he understands Day, and Day Does Not Like That™.

Day’s response to Mhok’s monologue is to say that Mhok has no idea what it is like to look in the mirror and not see your old self. And of course, we see Day’s reflection in his full body mirror. Now, again, Aof is being pretty heavy handed with his metaphors here. But that doesn’t mean I don’t absolutely love the double meaning of these words. Day is going blind so he literally can’t see himself in the mirror anymore.

But also, Day is deep in his grief for the things he has lost. His freedom, his career, his confidence that I think he has morphed in to a completely different person. One who is bitter, and self-conscious, and more comfortable hiding away where he can wallow in misery over his condition and not have to confront the new world he is living in. Day is running from connection, I mean not a minute before this scene Day legitimately ran away from Night’s friends rather than have to explain his blindness.

The scene continues, and Day shuts himself off even further from the world around him, by putting in his headphones. Now he can drown out Mhok’s attempts to comfort him, but in the long run what is that going to do? As @shortpplfedup said to me earlier “the set dressers did not come to play” when it came to designing Day’s room. When the curtains aren’t drawn there is so much natural light in Day’s room. His walls are bright and colorful, there are photos and awards all over the place. Day’s room has so much personality in it, so much life within it. But the mirror shows nothing. It shows Day alone, surrounded by blank walls in grayscale.

The costume designer made an excellent choice of shirt for this scene, by the way. Because the yellow blends in enough with the wall in Day’s room, that (especially) when coupled with the camera’s focus in this scene. The real Day almost fades in to the background, and your eye is naturally drawn to this spot of yellow in the mirror.

The mirror highlights his isolation while at the same time showing the audience how much Day can and does stand out.

AND it parallels the reflection of Mhok in Episode 1 so well, not just in the emotions that we see from Mhok and Day, but in the sense that Mhok’s reflection is in Rung’s car because he is currently trapping himself in the darker, meaner thoughts about his sister, rather than processing his grief. While Day’s reflection is in his room because he is currently trapping himself in the darker, meaner thoughts about himself, rather than giving himself enough compassion to start moving forward.

When Day does not respond to Mhok’s conversation, Mhok is triggered at the thought of his sister’s death and he breaks down the door to make sure Day is okay, and gets fired for it. Mhok does not argue, he does not put up a fight, he does not try to explain, he just honors Day’s request and gets the fuck out. And I love the way that Mhok is already starting to change Day’s outlook. Because we see how mopey Day is after Mhok leaves, and how much hope there is in him when Night tells him there is someone at the door who wants to see him and he so obviously thinks it’s Mhok.

Mhok gives him the gift of the fish slippers, and Day goes to visit Mhok at the market, only to find out that Mhok has spent time reflecting on what Day told him about not understanding him, and making a fool out of himself in the eyes of the other market patrons by blindfolding himself.

Mhok is doing what no one else has really done and is making a concerted effort to truly understand where Day is coming from, the fears that he is carrying, and the challenges he faces as a blind man.

But of course, we know by now that while there are definitely things Mhok is had not or might never understand about the physical realities of Day’s life, he can understand loneliness, and he can understand rage, pain, and anger. There are parts of himself that have grown within him over the past year that recognizes parts of Day that have grown within him over the past year.

And we have already been seeing the impact of Mhok on Day’s life, in the fact that Day has smiled more, Day has left his room, Day has eaten at the table, and agreed to watch a movie. And that singular day where Day did not wallow in his own misery, but left his room, went out in the sun, etc stuck with him because he is in the living room watching a movie the day Phorjai comes to visit.

Culminating in the second real reflection of Episode 2, where Mhok, via the side mirror, sees Day smiling on the back of his scooter. And what I love about this moment is that the focus is entirely on Day. I don’t want Last Twilight to strip Day’s healing processes from him and give them to Mhok. I think it is totally fine for Mhok to contribute to Day’s increasing happiness, but ultimately I want Day to have enough autonomy in this narrative that these decisions that lead to him enjoying his life again are primarily comprised of Day’s own choices. And I think that we can get something visually from that by the fact that we don’t see a lot of Mhok in this reflection, only one small portion of his chin.

Day made the choice to have Phorjai take him to see Mhok, Day made the choice to rehire Mhok, and Day is the one having a moment on the back of this scooter just reveling in the feeling of the wind on his face. I love that this reflection shows just enough of Mhok to show that Day is not alone, while still putting all of the attention in the reflection on to Day and the joy he is feeling.

The idea that Day is no longer alone is reinforced after Mhok makes a pit stop to purchase a companion for the goldfish in Day’s room. And again we get in to some of my favorite instances of reflection in Last Twilight, where we place the boys’ reflections in the fish tank.

And this is where the images from the intro sequence come from. Day looking at Day Noi and Big Mhok interacting with each other in the tank. Here we still have Day alone in the reflection, with the goldfish tying him to this symbolism. But Day’s reflection is so much clearer now that the tank has been cleaned. Now Day’s reflection in the water tank is far more obvious, and hey, since it’s me, I’ll overanalyze this moment to say that as Day has gotten to know Mhok a bit and has started venturing outside of his room more, that Day is getting a clearer vision of himself as a person. Regardless, we as the audience can see Day’s reflection in the tank all the more clearly and that reflection is vibrant and bright, because Day is becoming more vibrant and bright.

“No More Loneliness Little Day” Mhok says and we get MY FAVORITE SHOT OF THE SHOW THUS FAR

The split screen. It’s not even a reflection, but I am talking about it here, because I think the absence of reflection is just as important as its presence, and I love that we have this moment where half of Day’s face is crystal clear and the other half is completely obscured. There is no trace of it. Considering how much Aof has been turning the camera on Day’s vision, we aren’t that far off of what Day sees in this shot. I like that this image has Day straddling these two worlds.

And we get the final reflection of Episode 2, Mhok’s face in the fish tank.

Again, I don’t even know that this is really intentional or it is just the way the reflection happened to have occurred, but I love the fact that not all of Mhok’s face is present within the fish tank. I like that Mhok is slowly encroaching on Day’s space, that Mhok is slowly starting to appear in the parts of Day’s life that Day actually cares about. Mhok is lonely and Day is lonely, and they have finally found someone they might be able to connect to. Big Mhok is there for Day Noi and Mhok is there for Day.

I love that while the fish themselves are able to cross those barriers and that we get to see the fish swimming up and next to each other, that we have yet to see Mhok and Day’s reflections fully together. Even here, Mhok’s reflection in the fish tank is alone, just like Day’s reflection in the fish tank was alone. But they are in the same place, they are in the same room, they are in the same tank, they are in the same stage of their grief (anger) and there is no way in hell we don’t get one or more reflections in the mirror or in the fish tank by the end of this show where Mhok and Day are both fully present.

#last twilight #last twilight the series #last twilight analysis #jimmysea #mhokday #mhok x day #aof noppharnach #gmmtv #thai bl

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acrosstobear · 1 year

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Mick’s Diary: Life as an F1 Reserve Driver

Hi everyone and welcome to my diary!

Over the season, I’ll be keeping you up to date with how we’re progressing trackside and at the factory, and some insight into what I get up to away from racing. So, here’s my first entry.

Since I joined Mercedes, I’ve been settling in great. Everybody is just so open-minded towards me, and that made me feel welcome from the first moment I stepped into the factory in Brackley. I’ve spent a lot of time there in these first months. It’s a very impressive facility.

I visited it back in 2014 as a young driver and was even sneaking in the simulator then, but everything is a lot bigger now than it was then! It is a state-of-the-art facility, very impressive in how things are structured and how every detail is thoughtfully taken care of. I’m still getting used to the level of preparation that you see here, and I am trying to soak up as much information as I can. Also, there’s still a lot of people I haven’t met but it’s been fun getting to know as many colleagues as I can.

My main focus up to now has been working in the simulator. Because I have raced a car under this new set of regulations, I have a good understanding of how to drive them. That has helped me in my role so far and hopefully added value for the Team. I will look to be an extra pair of eyes and resource to help with the development programme across the year.

The simulator team have been super kind to me and great to work with. It’s impressive to drive the sim because it’s just so advanced, and I have been pushing to do more. It’s not enough for me to just sit on the side-lines, I want to be helpful wherever I can. Of course, it’s not the real thing and I would love to be driving the W14!

It's also been fascinating working with Lewis and George. It’s an interesting period for me as I get to look over and work with two fantastic drivers, which you don’t always get to do. I’ve learned a lot about what’s important in terms of approaching race weekends; I feel like I’ve already gained so much knowledge to add to my skillset. I didn’t think I would have learned and gained so much so early into my role.

As a driver, you usually do not get to hear what is going on between all the engineers while you are out on the track, so listening in during the sessions has been extremely interesting. I was quite shocked at the season opener in Bahrain, I did not expect the sheer amount of exchange that happens.

You don’t know what you’re missing until you are actually part of it. What I really appreciate in working with those engineers is that they are genuinely listening to you and your opinion matters, and what is special from an emotional side is that many people who are working for the Team now were working here when my dad was driving.

Whilst we’ve all been working hard, it’s important to keep a balance and get some downtime. I went out early to Australia and went surfing. I wouldn’t say that I’m a great surfer, but I have to say that I have come to love it and I feel it is not just for fun but also very helpful for training. Even at home in Switzerland I do a lot of surfing. Yes, this may sound strange when speaking of a country that’s not famous for its beaches, but we have a surf spot close to where I live.

It can’t beat the adrenaline rush of motorsport though and I’m excited to get back to Brackley and continue our work. We’re working through quite a lot of simulator sessions before the next race in Baku so we will do some virtual mileage and be pushing hard to bring performance to the car.

To finish my first diary entry, I wanted to speak directly to you, the fans. Thank you to everyone for the warm welcome to the Team, and for the support you’ve shown me. It’s no secret that I would, like any driver, love to be out there racing. My current role though is helping me grow and develop, which is great.

#mick schumacher #mercedes #f1 #formula 1 #SWEETHEART

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dwreader · 9 months

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What movies would you recommend for good examples of period costumes?

Ok since I could talk for literally hours about this I’m going to stick to periods that are show adjacent or relevant otherwise I’ll be here all day.

18th century (Lestat’s time):

Barry Lyndon (1975) - takes place in the 1760s throughout Europe so a little before Lestat’s time but honestly fashion changed very slowly back then so it’s pretty much the vibe we’re gonna see in s3 I believe. I think this is essential to understanding the period’s masculinity as it features mostly men and is also not about romance. You also get to see class differences in men’s dress as the character starts off in a very different social position from where he ends up. I also think Sam in his Lestat get up from set leaks looks sooo much like Ryan O’Neal in this movie I think it will be a major inspiration.

Dangerous Liaisons (1988) - this is pretty much smack dab in the middle of Lestat’s human life (pre-revolutionary) and it’s one of the few romantic dramas that actually allows its leading men to look period accurate cause somehow Hollywood decided calves and stockings were too gay for their leading men who usually show up to dinner parties in riding gear which would NEVER happen. Anyways I also think the character of Valmont is probably another big Lestat influence.

I also think movies like Amadeus (1984) and The Favourite (2018) are helpful in establishing to viewers that men did look ridiculous back then with big ass wigs and face caked full of makeup and it was not considered gay or unmanly!!

Gilded Age / Edwardian and beyond (Louis’s time):

The Age of Innocence (1993) - takes place in the 1870s so again a bit before Louis but I think now it’s important to establish that fashion trends are moving a bit faster as you’ll see a few decades later the big ass bustle look is no longer on trend but this is just a beautiful film to look at if you want a good intro to film costuming.

The trio of Merchant-Ivory’s EM Forster adaptations: A Room with a View, Maurice and Howard’s End are nice examples of early 20th century wear and again you finally get to see more class differences in dress. Also great references for men’s wear.

Daughters of the Dust (1991) - this takes place in Georgia around 1902 so getting quite close to the start of the show and it has absolutely gorgeous design like it’s the women’s silhouette so spot on. Good reference for the costumes on black women in the show. Also I think this is one case where the flowy down do’s hair in a period film isn’t anachronistic cause of the specific story they’re telling otherwise I’m usually like why are you an adult woman walking around outside with your hair down.

Passing (2021) - takes place in 1920s New York and features really lovely b&w cinematography and costuming wise it’s a really beautiful representation of upper middle class black families of the time and also has very interesting contrasts with the white upper class. Amazing book too, I highly recommend both.

For periods beyond 1930 I actually recommend just watching films from that era cause they give a more accurate representation of what was fashionable then not filtered through today’s beauty standards. For example the thin penciled eyebrow is almost never seen in modern period films cause no actress wants to shave off their eyebrows 💀 and their hair is almost always too long cause they don’t wanna chop off their hair.

Here are some good fashion recs of 30s-40s:

Trouble in Paradise (1932), It Happened One Night (1934), The Awful Truth (1937), Imitation of Life (1934), Notorious (1946), Mildred Pierce (1945), Gilda (1946), Orphee (1949), and a bunch others you can ask me for recs based on more specific criteria and I’d be happy to provide!

Also a film that’s a bit past the show’s timeline is Paris Blues (1961) starring Sidney Poitier and Paul Newman that’s also about American expats in Paris and it’s very good, everyone watch it.

#I’m sorry this is so long alsjsjakdjajajaja #but i have like 12 more I refrained from talking about cause I don’t have time I gotta run #iwtv #asks

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genocidehim · 1 year

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Telling Tuco that you’re pregnant and thinking he’ll be mad but he’s overjoyed

notes: render is female, unwanted pregnancy. words: 1037

When the pregnancy test came back positive, you realized you were screwed.

Really screwed.

And it was a reality that could have happened at any moment since your only forms of contraception were the birth control pills you took every day. The condom was abandoned after the second encounter when Tuco became obsessed with the raw, pure sensation of sex with you, and by the time your relationship became more serious, the contraceptive methods were only on your side, as Tuco was Tuco and there wasn't much to do about it.

But now the result of your carelessness was in that positive pregnancy test and the slight swelling of your belly that was barely noticeable. Maybe you were one or two months pregnant, but you weren't even sure because terror seemed to be the only thing invading your thoughts.

You had no idea how Tuco would react to the news, he never talked about family or children, despite his siblings and cousins having already settled down with a family. Tuco lived his life very differently from the traditional Mexican family model, and you followed in his footsteps. You were young, too young to even think about getting pregnant, but it was too late to turn back now.

You had been avoiding the topic for weeks, during which time Tuco had become a bit more dependent on the drugs he used, and with that came more violent outbursts at work, but never with you. Normally, those outbursts would happen when something got out of his control and he didn't like it, and the thought of how he would react if he found out about your early pregnancy terrified you... What if he became violent? Would he be capable of doing something?

All your worries and fears led you to that day when Tuco was busy cooking lunch without being chemically altered. You wanted to approach him in his sobriety and in the mundanity of everyday life.

"Amorcito..." you called him as you quietly walked down the stairs barefoot.

From the kitchen, you heard a 'Dime, amor' accompanied by the sound of the frying pan splattering oil and the smell of cooked vegetables. You approached the kitchen and leaned against the door frame while looking at him with a shy expression on your face, quieter than usual.

"What's wrong? Why do you have that look on your face? The food is almost ready" Tuco said as he scraped the pot with a spatula.

All of that scene was worth admiring. Tuco, in his sobriety, looked like such an attentive husband; his worried gaze on you, that pastel-colored apron over him, how his voice sounded much softer and honeyed when he spoke to you, and the way he reassured you with more words. All those things really affected you emotionally, wishing he could put another child inside you as soon as possible.

You shook your head slightly to clear your thoughts and resumed your confession.

"I wanted to talk to you about something important... Do you have a second?"

"For you, I have a lifetime. Tell me, what's going on?" he replied while continuing to cook.

It took you a while to get to the point, the anxiety filtering through your body and sweating through your pores. You didn't understand why you were afraid to reveal your pregnancy, why you felt like crying just trying to say the words, why the idea of him not accepting the news and leaving you scared you.

Your lips trembled before uttering the words, and you seemed deeply affected.

"My period hasn't come for months..." Your words came out soft, but that caught his attention instantly. His dark eyes widened at the moment and looked at you with surprise and seriousness, you trembled with fear. "And I took a pregnancy test and... I..."

When your words began to tremble and your eyes watered, Tuco let out a big sigh and turned off the stove to give you his full attention.

"And what about you?" His stern voice sent chills down your spine.

"I took several pregnancy tests and they came out positive..."

Silence filled the kitchen at that moment, the only sound you could hear was your heavy breathing and your heart about to burst. You couldn't look him in the eyes, you somehow felt guilty.

But Tuco's loud laughter snapped you out of your mental trance and forced you to look at him.

"¿¡Estás embarazada?!, Dios mío, no me lo puedo creer" The man had a smile from ear to ear that lit up his face, he looked so happy about the news that he couldn't stay still, going back and forth and babbling words of gratitude and blessings in spanish.

Feeling a great weight lifted off your shoulders, you sighed and let out a small cathartic laugh as you watched him in total amazement. Tuco approached you and held you tightly in his arms while dedicating sweet and cheesy words to you. When he pulled away and gave you a tender look, he placed his hand on your belly and touched the small bump with the palm of his hand.

"I can't believe my Amorcito is carrying my baby... How many months are you? Dios, I hadn't noticed the beautiful belly you have." His words tickled your ear and your smile eased the tension in your body.

"Two or three months... I don't know, just... I was scared to tell you when I found out."

"When you found out? And why were you scared?"

"A month ago and... I don't know, I was scared to think that you would hate me for getting pregnant and ruining your life..."

"Why would you think that? Corazón..." His lips landed on the softness of your cheek and he gave you a tender kiss. "I could never be angry with you for carrying my baby... Dios, what kind of man would I be if I hated the idea of you being pregnant?"

"We had never talked about this and well..."

"You shouldn't have worried your pretty little head with those mistaken ideas..." His lips now cradled yours in a tender and warm kiss before he continued speaking. "My God... You have no idea how happy Abuelita will be when she finds out you're pregnant. She will love you even more."

#better call saul x reader #breaking bad x reader #bcs x reader #tuco salamanca #tuco salamanca x reader #tuco salamanca fanfic #better call saul #breaking bad #tuco salamanca imagine

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mmavey · 8 months

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c!Technoblade- a What If take on his backstory.

Technoblade, for many, both as a cc! and a character has always been enigmatic and someone we are drawn to. In contrast to this, many people fail to understand fundamental parts of his character as well as his motives.

I feel, personally, the reason many people do not fully understand him is because we do not have a solid backstory for him. It is common knowledge that the Antarctic Empire was canon, that he and Phil are old immortals with a long history, but what about before? What came before his days as a conqueror, his days as an emperor, and, of course, his days as an anarchist? When did he become associated with the Blood God? Surely one could not be born with a connection such as that. Unless... No, aus are for another day- this is about headcanon, not aus! (I'll talk about Blood Demigod Techno another day, promise /j)

I remember reading a post by @becauseplot that questioned what made c!Philza and c!Techno go from being emperors, kings, conquerors with power beyond our imagination, to anarchists. The points in that post were incredibly well thought out and I thought about it for quite a long time, scoured Techno's dynamics and even went back to watch a few EarthSMP episodes to get a better view on Emerald Duo as a whole. The notion that they fell so far from that had always been shocking to me, someone who favored them as characters, but hadn't been around to see the Earth SMP.

Now? It's not so hard to believe.

Sometimes, when I think about this post, I also think of Passerine.

Yes, the fic- but what occurs in this fic? Philza and Techno, as they had on SMPE, were at one time co-leading an empire. One thing that I often associate with Philza is that with such a long life, with no death in sight, he often loses track of time- any mortal love hes had is a mere blip in his timeline and his children aren't any different. One day, the Angel of Death vanishes from their kingdom, and never returns. Technoblade is left to himself, stumbling in this similar feeling of Philza being gone as suddenly as he arrived. What if something of this volume had occurred? Or, perhaps, even something worse. Betrayal? Bloody wars bringing loss of people important to him?

Whatever ended the Antarctic Empire is up to interpretation. I'm not especially interested on touching that- I have my personal headcanons about that, but it's really what comes before and after SMPE that really counts. There's unaccounted time in both periods, depending on how long the time between SMPE and DSMP is. (Keep in mind, SMPE isn't considered canon to a lot of character's stories- but it IS canon for Philza and Techno. This is IMPORTANT and I will die on this hill.)

Let's start from the beginning of my headcanon for c!Techno.

He is old- as immortals are- old enough to have seen a world that was calm, peaceful, before governments. As a child, or a teen, or whatever he happened to be- in his early years, Techno got the grand privilege of enjoying a world with little conflict, full of cooperation and kindness. Over time, though, of course, human error comes into play. There are no perfect people, and so, anarchy in its purest form becomes chaos.

(The factual definition of anarchy: the organization of society on the basis of voluntary cooperation, without political institutions or hierarchical government; anarchism.

NOWHERE does this say that anarchism is about chaos. C!Techno's goal isn't chaos, it isn't to kill everyone on the server, it is to BRING COOPERATION WITHOUT CONTROL. His ideals are based upon the factual definition of anarchy, as are Phil's. In their eyes, the things that they did in Man vs. Pog, Doomsday, etc- they're just forms of revolution. They're not revolting to create their own government like the L'Manbergians. They're revolting to abolish them.)

Lighthearted anarchy is the optimal condition for humanity. But, human error naturally creates people who desire control, and all it likely took was one person for things to begin to snowball. Conflict sparks, the world begins to tear apart- his strength, the fact that something is different about him (his immortality, given later, will set him even further apart), it makes him someone the people of this old and fresh out of the schism world want on their side. They want him as a weapon. And, so, the Blade is born, figuratively. As time goes on, government solidifies, this condition of desiring control, power, death, blood- whatever it happens to be- it spreads, becomes commonplace. Techno is pulled along for the entire ride, his views, as everyone else's were, becoming warped as he is compelled to fight and conform to the more popularly accepted norms.

With that out of the way, let's talk about the Blood God.

Technoblade fights, he fights for everyone, a weapon of human error's creation, a solider (a true conqueror) that only continues to douse his hands, his blade, his arrows in blood as he moves forward, becoming a figure so haunted by death that voices of those he'd bloodied begin to fight for his attention within the confines of his brain.

Such a daunting man, hoglin, pigman- whatever your personal headcanon of Techno and his species happen to be- would not escape the notice of the Gods, and especially not one so engraved with war. The Blood God, reaching down from wherever the gods happen to be at, has to meet this conqueror that has been bathed in his favorite substance.

At first, as anyone would be, Technoblade, still young in his long, endless life, was unnerved, bothered by this deity coming specifically to him. But, perhaps, he realizes, it's not so hard to believe. He's infamous, a conqueror so powerful and renowned that he is on the same level as the Greek hero Achilles, or even Hercules, to be more accurate. It's natural for him to feel prideful about that, at the time, when he considers being a conqueror a good thing, and it's natural for a God to take notice of his abilities and seek him out.

Essentially, where this headcanon ends up going is as follows:

The Blood God, impressed by Techno's abilities, makes him immortal. Immortality comes at a dire price, and Technoblade must take the god as his patron deity for as long as he walks the earth, and he adopts both the phrasing "Technoblade never dies" and "Blood for the Blood God". This gift, his immortality, floods him with more pride, more dedication- and it also quadruples his value to any rulers that could have him in their army. A warrior beyond death, with more knowledge and intellect than any architect, philosopher, or strategist in any land. As time passes, progressing quickly, endlessly for Technoblade, he learns of the way people view him as a weapon, something to use to further their reach and power.

In retaliation, he begins to take his title as a conqueror very literally.

And, so, the reputation of Technoblade being a noble, grand soldier of the old times twists into him being a man capable of butchering entire armies, strolling through towns and cities and leaving wreckage claimed in his name behind. Technoblade is no longer a tool, a weapon, yes, but only for himself and for the God of Blood. He becomes an Emperor, a conquerer comparable to those we know such as Alexander the Great, or any others that have managed to spread an empire across a vast amount of land and still maintain control of it.

Surely, before the schism of the world, when everything was peaceful, early on, he had a family- mother, father, siblings, grandparents, even- but over the centuries he begins to forget, the memories of things before the deity granting him immortality becoming a grey sludge, fading further and further into nothingness.

He loses himself in human error, in leadership, in the blood-

The Blade is solidified as a legend, a legend of death, blood, war, and conquerors. His name is whispered across the old world, known truly, by some, but feared by all.

There is only one who is equally as feared as he, in this early time of conflict- The Angel of Death. Rumors and whispers he has heard are quite similar to those about he, himself, and this is both intriguing and threatening.

One day, they meet.

And the rest is history. ...Literally, they're old LMAO

THAT WRAPS IT UP FOR TONIGHT

this headcanon is based around the thoughts of @becauseplot , but it also takes some ground from the Passerine fic by blujamas and thcscus.

(heres a link if you havent read passerine, gogoggogoggogo!!!! ^^)

i didnt end up having the energy to finish the bit thats gonna elaborate on the time between SMPE and DSMP so if youre interested on further elaborations of my headcanons lmk!!!!!

(i say this like anyone will read it)

this is going out to like. hardly anyone but I FELT THE NEED TO RANT OKAY SO ENJOY IT /j

some thigns may be mildly innacurate but i wrote this wild tired and its been fueled by two cans of orange fanta. read /j

edit because i missed something: the primary idea of this hc is that the reason technoblade ends up becoming a total anarchist after the failure of the antarctic empire (for whatever reason it ended- this also contributes to his reasoning obviously) is that he vaguely remembers a time before governments, before conflict and war- peace through the dictionary definition of anarchy, not chaos. hes old enough to have seen a world before all of these things, and he ends up wanting it back after everythign goes so horribly wrong.

and hes not afraid, and hasnt ever been, to use force /j

THE ACTUAL END NOW- /j

#LONG POST SOZ #technoblade #c!techno #c!philza #c!emerald duo #rants #headcanons #listen.#hear me out #c!technoblade #passerine #sbi #technoblade headcanons #techno backstory #backstory #perhaps??

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maintitle · 7 months

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I watched DS9's It's Only A Paper Moon yesterday, and I want to talk about it because it wasn't until right now that I understood why it slapped me across the face so much, and why I think that episode is so important to me.

This may be triggering to people with disabilities, heart conditions, disabilities from COVID, or medical or military related trauma. Read ahead at your own risk.

I developed a heart condition at 18 from the H1N1 virus (which is why I tell all my friends to take preventive measures if they had COVID, because these kinds of new and unknown viruses can have long-lasting effects on you we don't know yet). While I had a lot of tests and missed a lot of school that year, the effects of that wouldn't be clear for years until at 24 I got a pacemaker/defibrillator put in in what we later found out was a life-saving surgery. The trauma of that event took a long time to catch up with me. While I'm still facing symptoms and limitations from that period of my life, the immediate danger has passed. But it took A LONG time for the fear of what happened to me, the PTSD of that event, to catch up with me. I've dealt with huge panic attacks and hyper-obsessive fears regarding my heart since around twenty-nine, fears I live with and fight through in therapy to this day.

As someone facing those issues, I hooked onto A Paper Moon this watch in a way I haven't before. The issue deals with the loss of Nog's leg in battle earlier in the season, a traumatic experience he had in the middle of a warzone only halfway through their defense. During his recovery, Julian begins to play recordings of I'll Be Seeing You, put together by Vic Fontaine, a semi-aware holodeck program that is really popular on DS9.

Nog returns from surgery at the beginning of the episode, and is walking with a cane. Multiple people on staff, including Julian himself, is concerned over the use of the cane because medically, he shouldn't have a need for it. He shouldn't even be in pain based off of what they know from the new leg and the nerves around it, but he's in pain and having trouble walking. A lot of the arguments in the early episode revolve around people talking behind Nog's back about how they can't understand why he has the cane or why he's in pain when there doesn't appear to be a medical reason for it.

The answer is actually incredibly simple: It's not the leg, it's the trauma from loosing the leg. Nog, who is still incredibly young in the episode, had somehow seen himself as invincible, a young cadet wanting to prove Ferengi can be incredible members of Starfleet, who had seen quite a bit of action and was cocksure, and in one moment he not only lost that bravado, but he also learned he was mortal in one horrifying singular moment.

Obviously, Nog is lucky enough to live in an era where it's possible to replace a lost limb, but that doesn't change the fact that for a horrifying unmentioned, maybe SEVERAL DAY period of time, he was left on a makeshift bed, listening to fighting outside, knowing that he could be attacked at any time, could die at any time from factors not even exterior to him. And now he just has to... go back to life after that horrifying dose of his own mortality.

The only thing that gets him by is that recording of I'll Be Seeing You by Vic Fontaine, because that's the only thing that he had to take him out of that horrifying situation while he laid on that makeshift gurney. The episode explores that idea by having him play it while trying to sleep, and eventually go to the holodeck and try to live in it with Vic after he was shamed for being in bed too long and for listening to said music for too long.

The funny thing is, Vic is the ONLY person, INCLUDING THE COUNSELOR ONBOARD DS9, who recognizes that his pain is valid. Vic, as a hologram, recognizes that his pain isn't crazy, it's as real as the injury he experienced, because Vic has a perspective that none of these hyper-worn-down Starfleet Officers or parental figures in his life has: His LIFE is a series of not-real instances of pain, of happiness, of dealing with other people he knows are holograms. Vic isn't like Moriarty in TNG, he's not like other semi-sentient Holodeck programs, he KNOWS he's a program but he also finds that life to be very real FOR HIM. The feelings of one of his bandmates are as real to him as the problems of Julian walking in to talk about one of the many women he simps for not feeling the same, because despite knowing they're not physically real, he CARES for them and takes their lives seriously.

Nog's feelings are real. His PAIN is real, even if a doctor can't understand why. Nog's in the middle of a long, extended panic attack where he's internalizing a near life-ending medical emergency and doesn't know how to DEAL with it. He loses himself in the program because it's the only place he can get past the trauma of the event, he's hostile to others who try and look at him with pity or as a hero because he doesn't want to be DEFINED by that pain. Vic knows this, and builds him up in other ways. Gives him a life to live, watches him slowly not need the cane and not even realize it, gives him tools and an environment to cope and generally is the only person that validates that trauma.

The episode is maybe one of the series best mental health episodes possible, and DS9 is generally REALLY good with these issues. As someone with medical trauma, I saw myself in Nog. I'm sure others who have experienced disabilities in the military see even more of themselves in him. We relate to it because we're constantly belittled or told our pain is in our heads, when the truth is we FEEL it. I feel it multiple times a month, when I lay down and go to bed and lay on my side just right that I can feel my heartbeat, and then I overanalyze it, and then that leads to a panic attack and me grabbing a pressure cuff or a fingertip pulse whatever it is to see if I'm okay, but by then I can't come down from the panic attack until it's done. I feel it when I'm helping someone move or if I'm on a casual walk and I feel my heartbeat spike, and my mind overreacts and wonders if this is normal exertion or a heart attack.

Not FEELS these things. It's real pain. And Vic doesn't invalidate it. It's as real as the injury itself, and it's not one that he'll ever truly conquer. But the episode gives him time, space and kindness to help him find coping mechanisms in order to continue with his life and dreams, and THAT'S Trek to me. A future where these things can be understood and worked through, without the constant shame that people with disabilities face when describing the trauma responses they suffer on a day-to-day basis.

In the end, Nog is heard. The main characters come to understand that what he felt is real. The episode gives him the time to work through complicated PTSD, and while he's not okay at the end, he's learning to live with it. And it's really fucking special to see this explored with a character we saw grow up into a man, on a show where the future is meant to be better than the present, written by writers in 1998 where they had no right to handle this as well as they did. This was an exceptionally special episode of television.

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nebmia · 29 days

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Reviewing every rpg book on my shelf: 7, Wolves of God

Wolves of God by Kevin Crawford is a game about adventuring in early anglo-saxon england and its prime virtue is in how thoroughly (and for the most part accurately) it develops that time period and attempts to place players in the outlook of those people. I happen to have a particular love for the early middle ages and for the anglo-saxons in particular, which places me directly in the target demographic for this game, and as far as I am concerned it delivers.

Mechanically Wolves of God is built on the same fundamental system as Kevin Crawfords other ‘without number’ games: So an osr type game with a greater than usual quantity of character build options and a particular focus on sandbox play.

The first thing you notice when you read the book is the framing device. The book is treated as if it was a manuscript written by a monk in 710AD (the rather opinionated Brother Cornix) documenting anglo-saxon gaming practice that has been unearthed and edited by Kevin Crawford. This lends the whole book a very unique and (to me) entertaining voice. For illustration here is a section from character creation:

The rules in these pages will show you how to make your bold adventurer, but do not be a thrall to man-marked ink on pale parchment. If your band of gamesmen has their own thought to the right way to manage a matter, then let it be done as you and your companions think best. Listen, then, and I will tell you how to make an English hero. From the first strong sinews of the mortal body to the crown of reason and high ambition, you will learn what makes a mighty champion of our people.

The styling as a medieval manuscript does, however, mean that many standard features of modern layout are absent, such as bullet points being replaced by paragraphs starting ‘primus’, ‘secundus’, ‘Tertius’, etc and that overall the text is much wordier than most contemporary rpgs. However, there are footnotes and sidebars from ‘the editor’ which summarise important rules or discuss some of Brother Cornix’s biases, and I find that, overall, the writing style is worth it for the level of immersion in the culture that it provides.

There are three classes you can use to create your ‘English Hero’ (plus an option for multiclassing): the warrior, the saint, and the galdorman. These are broadly analogous to the original D&D fighting man, cleric, magic user line up but each has twists to place it in the setting. The big point is that each classes has a set of ‘glories’ and ‘shames, which determine how they gain (or lose!) xp. These do a lot to place your character within the outlook and value system of the early middle ages. For instance the saints shames tie them to follow the law of the church, while a warriors shames relate to oath breaking or betraying your lord or friends. An interesting feature is that, while warriors or galdormen can escape shame if no one knows what they did, a saint always suffers the penalty as ‘God knows all things.’

Which is a good segue for talking about christianity and how deeply enmeshed it is in the setting. The book spends almost as many pages detailing the essentials of early medieval christianity as it does describing the rules for combat, and then goes on to spend twice as many pages describing monasteries and giving rules for generating them. Basically, religion was really important then and also quite unlike how we as modern people understand it.

Among the other things that were important to people then but unfamiliar to a modern audience are: Cattle Raids, Feasting etiquette, a gift economy, and the weight placed on fate. All of which Wolves of god sets out rules and procedures to guide you though. Outside of what is rendered in the rules to book also lays out an expansive description of anglo-saxon england covering the legal system, customs, farming practice, history and the main kingdoms. In contrast to games (D&D) where you play as essentially modern people in an essentially modern world wrapped in medieval aesthetics, Wolves of God is a game where you simply must inhabit the alien world that is the past.

Apart from the areas where is does deviate from history, which is primarily in the transformation of old roman ruins into portals to pocket dimensions (or ‘arxes’) created with ancient roman magic into which the romano-british retreated. What with it being, at its root, a dungeon crawling game I can see why there was a need to add magical dungeons and a treatment of roman ruins is definetly appropriate as the remnants of roman civilisation is deeply important to this time period (see the old english poem ‘the ruin’) but there is still fundamentally something about the inclusion of arxes that does not work for me. I think it is, perhaps, that the existence of dungeons and the delving off them is too big a thing to add without it dramatically changing the setting. A world with dungeon delving adventures is inevitably drawn into the sphere of classical D&D fantasy and away from the early middle ages. Fortunately, I can simply choose not to have any arxes and instead focus on more historical adventures with the odd mythical creature or barrow delve thrown in (don’t ask me why a barrow feels different to an arxe. It just does, ok)

A final note: My copy is the deluxe edition, which is unfortunately no longer available. I think the only difference with the print on demand version will be a less premium binding and printing and not having the red cover with gold

#Reviewing every rpg book on my shelf #ttrpg #my stuff #osr #Wolves of god

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new-berry · 6 months

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I never should have gone to bed!

Mikel / Granit NSFW work of fiction etc etc not edited. No warnings :)

Happy early birthday @longeyelashedtragedy unless you hate it, then hold out for Frank and Jamie Jamie Jamie.

Or just type “I hated it” no matter what and pride will compel me to finish Frank and Jamie (there’s magic)

Mistaken for Strangers

As long as you know Mikel loves Granit, and Granit loves Mikel, you know all the important things. There is nothing else you need to know going into this.

You can switch any of the lesser facts to something you understand better or like more. That’s fine. It doesn’t change anything really if they were rugby players instead. It’s just a forty minute half instead of forty-five. Should still work though. Both ball sports.

You don’t need to know the offside rule. You don’t need to have memorised the top goal scorers by season. They don’t even have to be sportsmen, if you don’t want.

It also ends. In every telling it ends. You have to know that as well. The weeks have run out of days.

I want to assure you: You don’t have to know anything else about them to understand this story.

It might be better not knowing some things. For example: it might be better if you didn't know that Mikel was Granit’s boss.

Mikel has dark hair and dark eyes. He ages slowly, he has a scar on his knee that hurts when it rains or when he stands for too long. He’s vain.

Mikel can easily be a blonde though. He could be Michael and have an arm injury that would make typing difficult for long periods, if you’d prefer. He’d still be Granit’s boss. Even if they worked in an office. Even if they were architects.

He’s Spanish. He could be French though, if you think that accent is sexier. (It’s not, but it’s fine if you think that.)

Granit has a temper. Mikel looks like he has one. Mikel looks hot blooded and impetuous. (He might be better as a redhead than a blonde. If he is ‘Michael’ that is.)

He isn’t. Hot blooded or impetuous. He is impatient and slightly arrogant. But he’s quite handsome so he can carry it off. Granit is though, both hot blooded and handsome. (You could make him a little more handsome. You could make his teeth a tiny bit smaller and his chin slightly less prominent.)

Granit is also married. You can skip that, but, It’s important. But it’s fine to pretend.

Mikel is married too. (That isn’t the most important thing through. What is the most important is Mikel loves Granit and Granit loves Mikel and you already know that this ends).

Granit has daughters that he loves. He wouldn’t mind a son, so it’s okay if you give him one instead. Or as well.

They are both dog people, but cats are acceptable. They meet because of football. Fairly important. If you keep this story in London it should be football. And if it is going to stay football in London it should be Arsenal. Along with love, Arsenal is non-negotiable.

Love and Arsenal and endings. This could potentially happen at Chelsea. Definitely not at Spurs. Fundamentally not a West Ham story. This could never have happened at Fulham.

This is a love story where the lovers come second. There was a chance, once, this could have happened at Spurs. But that player never slammed his hand down on that manager's desk. That player never leaned over and sneered in his manager's face. That player never spread his legs wide and sat his ass down on the corner of that manger’s desk with his chin lifted up like “try me.” Maybe he should have.

If you hate England (fair) this could also be Athletico Madrid. If you want them to be drinking beer the night before Granit leaves you can set this in Germany. But it would have to be Dortmund if you did.

Look: I don’t make the rules for love and love and Arsenal and endings. Contracts run out of seasons. I hope you like bees if you move this to Germany. I hope you like the colour yellow.

Mikel is shorter than Granit and he has to press up on his toes to kiss him. Mikel is Spanish (or French) and Granit is Swiss (and Albanian. Or Swedish and Croatian, that could also work).

You can say: the Spaniard pressed up on his toes to kiss the taller Swiss man. You shouldn’t, not because it isn’t true, it’s very true. You just… shouldn’t say things like that.

However, you’ll have to keep that bit now. Not just for the aesthetic, the beauty of how it looks, Mikel the boss, (or the gaffer or the mister) but it also informs the ending. This always ends. It does end with a kiss. But first it ends with Granit turning his head away when Mikel presses up to kiss him.

There are ten years between them and that is perfectly acceptable. They didn’t meet when Granit was young. There isn’t the messiness of say, fifteen year old Granit meeting nearly twenty six year old Mikel.

This isn’t that kind of story. If you wanted it to, it could be. Granit knew about twenty six year old Mikel. If not football - could be Paul Maurice or something he could coach the Panthers - Mikel is still well known.

You could scooch the ages up and down a bit if you like. Granit thirty to Mikel’s forty becoming thirty-one to thirty-nine. Thirty two to thirty eight.

I want you to know, Granit loves Mikel. And Mikel loves Granit. And they both love Arsenal. Eventually.

Sometimes football is just a job, a stopwatch that runs out of seconds. Before Mikel, Arsenal was just a job. So it could be any job. Could be a coffee shop or a call centre.

Granit isn’t the kind of person to just go through the motions but he needed to learn to feel it the right way.

Mikel’s hands are always soft at first and Granit had to learn that first, how to receive softness.

I don’t want to dwell on the ending, even though it’s inevitable. The beginning was beautiful. Cold. Cold like winter and cold like losing. Cold like your own fans turning on you.

Granit sitting on the edge of Mikel’s desk leaning back. Like it was his office, like it was his desk. Mikel stepping between his legs. Like this, Granit leaned back, they are closer in height. Mikel stays off his toes and Granit is caught flat footed. A shy man running out of bravado, a lover running out of bluff.

Desks and offices aren’t made for first times. Too many hard angles, too many corners. Mikel and Granit half stripped, grinding against each other, hands grabbing then trailing away just to grab something else.

Too fast, too awkward, after a ringing threatening silence. A timer running out of time. Then the glossy soft sound of them kissing again.

It didn’t have to be an office. Granit could have stormed into Mikel’s kitchen if he was a cook. Could have slammed his hand down next to the precisely diced onions. Could have fronded each other against a stainless steel bench being careful of the knives.

Or if they were mechanics- they are very good at their jobs if they were mechanics they would be formula one - maybe they would have kissed that first time next to a car jacked up with one tire constantly, lazily rotating. Kissed until the car ran out of racetrack. Until the wheel ran out spins.

There will always be a middle. There will always be a redemption.

Always Granit- Swiss /Albanian - possibly Swedish / Croatian - going from villain to hero. Always eventually accepting the cheers of the crowd.

Granit would always have called Mikel to hear him breath down the line when it could have been a text. Mikel will always slide his fingers into Granit’s hair with its soft curls (or glide his fingers through his long flaxen locks, or smooth his hands across Granit’s shaved head for preference). This will always happen with eternal gentleness.

Even the times they are angry and fuck. Even when Granit is drunk and raging. Even the time when the title has been awarded and they can’t look at each other and they can’t stay away from each other.

Ifyou don’t already know, they didn’t win that title. Even though this is a love story and a redemption story this isn’t a fairy tale. (So it couldn’t have happened at Spurs then).

Mikel will always touch Granit’s hair softly first. They will always break the law to see each other. It might be Covid protocols. It might not be wearing a mask when they are near each other. (Hardly worth a mask is it? When they are breathing messily into each other's mouths and blowing each other in the office in Mikel’s garden.)

If it were some other crime, an elaborate Las Vegas heist when they maybe would have stolen a golden statue and had sex, with it sitting on a side table in a dingy hotel room with a “welcome to fabulous Las Vegas” cap covering the top of it.

If they were in the Mafia perhaps they would have killed someone and gone home to have grim terrified -exhilarated sex with the smell of blood still in the air. If they had committed actual crimes , not just the moral failings, Mikel would still press up on his toes and slide his hands behind Granit’s ears into the softness of his hair.

There is a part before the ending. A part before the race ran out of racers. When it was almost like they could have it all. When they had a trophy almost on their fingertips, and their wives were clueless, and when Granit had looked down in wonderment, his hands planted on the bed next to Mikel’s head. The distant thump of their bodies together, the counterpoint of the headboard. A song running out of beats.

Granit caught in only a sort-of lie. Where was he? With Mikel (cook, mechanic, late night TV host).

What were they doing? Talking about football (menus, wrenches, the Supreme Court).

Why so late? (The season is teetering on the brink, the restaurant is teetering on the brink, democracy is teetering on the brink.) In no universe does Granit consider telling the truth.

‘We made love on the couch. We kissed all the way through. Mikel fucked me, and before he did he used his fingers to make it easier and becuase it feels amazing. Also the season is on the brink and democracy is fading.’

A comedian will run out of jokes. A drunk will run out of excuses. A husband will not run out of wife.

They come second, Arsenal not the wife. And in the early summer Mikel presses up on his toes and Granit turns his head to the side. He gets a new job, he moves to head office, “spends more time with his family”.

I’m sorry. It turns out there is no other story. There is only this Mikel. There is only this Granit. There is only their story. And it ends.

#fic

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mikalara-dracula · 2 years

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Hello, sorry for asking again but I really loved your post and thanks for making it. 💕 So this time can we get Reiji, Ruki, and Azusa's thoughts when they saw their s/o for the first time?

💕 Their thoughts when they saw their s/o for the first time—

(ft. Ruki, Carla, Shin, Reiji, and Azusa)

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with slight NSFW. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.

Caution: Unfortunately, Tumblr has a history of admins quarreling over completing carbon copy asks due to users sending the same request(s) to multiple admins, thus, resulting in unintentional plagiarism. With this, please DO NOT send the same request to multiple blogs as it can cause unintended plagiarism discord to other blogs across Tumblr. The word “plagiarism” stems from the early 17th-century Latin word, “plagiarius,” meaning “kidnapper.” So please, do not send in the same request to multiple blogs and make admins appear to be “kidnapping” other people’s work when it isn’t their intention. If this is to occur with any of my posts, please contact me so we can work something out.

Hi there, @just-looking-at-stars + Anons!

Thank you all so much for requesting! Oh my goodness, it looks like all of you requested the same thing practically lol. I figured I'd include it all in one post since it's the same scenario. Thank you so much for requesting. Feel free to request again any time. :)

Ruki:

Oooh vampire Christian Grey activated.

And you’re his Anastasia Steele xDD Jk.

When Ruki saw you for the first time, he was taken back.

And I mean REALLY taken back, and it was honestly so bad that his mind went blank.

He was getting some books out of his locker for next period, his brothers standing by as they hung out for the few minutes they had left to spare, but that was until he saw you walk by.

The way your hair style framed around your face, your fingers delicatly tucking a small strand of hair behind your ear, the small strut you gave while walking—it was all enough to keep him entranced.

Yuma noticed the crane of Ruki’s neck in your direction as you continued to walk on, a smirk on his face as he took in the situation. “Heh, sounds like someone’s interested.”

“Woah, she’s quite the looker. Hey Ruki, you should give it a shot.” Kou would comment, Azusa standing side him watching what was happening.

Ruki snapped out of his trance due to his pride, finding this moment foolish.

“Don’t be silly. There’s much more important matters to attend to.” He’d say, closing his locker and heading off to class.

And to his surprise, he found out you were actually in his next class since you were new at Ryoutei High.

He couldn’t help but sneak stares at you during class. You took notice, but played sly considering you didn’t know him, plus, you were in the middle of class and didn’t want anyone else to notice anything.

You were new, so the last thing you wanted was drama of any sort.

And with you glancing back and playing along with his stares, it only riled him up more to get to know you because your mysteriousness was driving him mad.

“Hm, seems you’re the playing type . . . alright, I’ll play your little game.” He’d think, slightly smirking to himself as he eyed you.

Reiji:

The day he met you, the chemistry loving vampire was doing a favor for the school he had done quite a few times considering he was an honors student—playing tour guide for the new student.

He honestly found this part about his academic status annoying because even though Reiji was known to demonstrate his intelligence and be known for it, he was honestly just so done with everything (me and @liannelara-dracula have headcanoned this).

It never failed to annoy him whenever he had to show a new student around, especially if they weren’t to his liking, it was even worse in that case.

Plus, it always frustrated him when people couldn’t understand his explanations when it came to directions or where to go if students encountered an issue of some sort.

In short, he just doesn’t have much patience for this job and he hates it when the honor faculty requests him to do it.

He waited in the hall outside the admissions office like he typically did whenever he was expecting a new student, his arms crossed in annoyance.

And it was here where the school’s secretary came out with you and introduced you to Reiji.

While she introduced the both of you, you couldn’t tell but Reiji was definitely resting his gaze on you longer than he typically would with anyone, and his mind was too preoccupied to think any thought since he was checking you out.

He introduced himself as well, and from there, he began to show you around.

And you can best bet that the entire time was spent with him taking in your presence, more so your figure and strut as you walked beside him.

But of course, he concealed this manner of attraction as he didn’t want to come on strong.

He was honestly amused by quite a few things about you, more specifically how fast you were catching on to the school’s whereabouts since most of the time people were just confused by his instruction like I mentioned before.

“I’ll admit, it’s quite surprising to see that someone is comprehending how things work around here the first time around.” He thought.

By the time the tour was over, Reiji even went out of his way as to extend his help to you, something he never does for anyone.

Shh! Don’t tell no one!

He told you where you could typically find him on school grounds in case you ever needed anything and was actually willing to follow through with this commitment.

And part of him honestly wanted you to scope him out.

Rest assured, because Reiji was interested in you, he was going to find one way or another to cross pathes with you again.

And he’d make damned sure of it.

“My, it makes me wonder how she has such an effect . . . she is undeniably stunning, I suppose that’s why.”

Carla:

Mmm, the first time this man saw you, he was caught off guard.

No, literally, he was.

In fact, you were thrown off as well considering the abrupt circumstance.

You were running late to school and let’s just say things were getting quite hectic on the way to class.

You ended up losing track of time over the break between your third and fourth period, and were now late for your next class.

Like, really late.

So, you took off running, your figure sprinting through the halls, making it to one of the school’s staircases since your class was on the second floor.

You began to run up the steps, seeing a tall figure descending down them on the opposite side of your own, but a turn of events made things take a turn for the worst.

Through being in such a hurry, to your dismay, you missed a step and started falling backwards.

You awaited for the painful impact, but you soon felt a pair of arms around your form holding you firmly, preventing you from falling further.

Opening your eyes, you looked up to see a male student, long, white hair framing his complexion rather nicely as his gold orbs stared down into your own, a silence resonating around you both.

“Um, sorry.” You said, quickly getting out of his arms as the moment felt quite awkward, soon rushing back up the stairs again in order to head to class.

As for Carla, he honestly found the event amusing as it wasn’t every day that someone magically fell into his arms.

It was enough to get him thinking, plus, he had gotten quite the view of your face in such a vulnerable state, along with the feel of your body in his grasp.

“Hopefully, she’s a little careful next time . . . I’d hate to see her get hurt.” He thought to himself, an ever-so-slight smile twisting on his lips.

Shin:

As for Shin, it all started with his usual shenanigans of pranking his brother Carla.

He was planning to have his locker rigged with confetti and paint, that way when Carla would open his locker door, it would explode in his face.

However, things didn’t go quite like Shin had planned.

Shin peeped his head into the corridor and awaited for his brother to show. When Carla finally arrived, Shin was on the edge of his seat, counting down to the moment of when Carla would open his locker.

When Carla did, Shin was honestly confused as to why his prank didn’t work.

You soon showed and were a few lockers down from Carla.

“That’s strange. Is there something wrong with the wiring?” Shin thought, his eyes shifting to you as you were about to open your locker.

And it was here where he realized his mistake. Because the dumbass got his brother’s locker and yours mixed up, you can imagine what happened.

It all happened in the blink of an eye. Upon opening your locker door, it exploded, paint and confetti on your face as you stood there aghast, not knowing how to take it.

You were so upset and it was honestly humiliating.

And here, Shin couldn’t hold back a laugh, leading him to expose himself as the culprit who set it up.

A fire burned in your eyes, your gaze turning towards him as you threw a flurry of insults towards him.

Shin grew up in times where women held their tongue, and was taken back seeing you express such an outburst towards him.

And dare he say it, he was actually turned on by your anger, the way the words slurred off your tongue, the rage behind them along with their power that asserted dominance over the situation.

You stalked off to the nearest bathroom to clean yourself off, leaving him flabbergasted.

“You never fail to cause trouble, do you?” Carla said a few feet behind, having witnessed the entire site.

And literally, Shin’s first thought about you, which he admitted out loud to his brother was, “Damn . . . she’s hot when she’s hot.”

No seriously, just ask @liannelara-dracula. We’ve hc’ed this lol.

Bear in mind that deep down, Shin has a thing for women getting angry at him, like it totally riles him up and finds it hot for some reason.

And from there, Shin didn’t stop bothering you.

He kept pestering you to forgive him in the weeks that came after the incident.

He kept telling you that this was all a big misunderstanding, and would throw a few minor flirts in in between because he’s an ass. Plus, because it would annoy/irk you, he only found it amusing, let alone a turn on.

“Oh c’mon, love. How much longer are you going to be crossed with me?” He’d smirk.

But you didn’t budge, he was going to have to work hard in order for you to accept his apology.

Azusa:

To be honest, his mind went blank when he first saw you.

He was just so thunderstruck that it felt like his soul left the world for a mere second.

Believe it or not, you two met in the school’s nurse’s office.

You started feeling awful around fourth period because an unexpected monthly visitor showed up days before it was actually due.

A migraine now throbbed the right side of your head, not giving you the strength left to continue the day at school.

You were just waiting for your ride since you knew you couldn't continue on, your hand resting a small ice pack on your head the nurse gave you to ease the pain.

Azusa sat on the bed opposite from your own, tending to his bandages as he had not looked up once since you arrived.

You noticed your ride was running late, the migraine being unbearable as you just wanted to go home. It felt tiresome at the moment to pull out your phone from your backpack, so you figured you’d ask the student nearby.

“Excuse me,” you asked, his hands still attending to his bandages. “Do you know what time it is?”

He gave no answer, his attention still on his wounds. You got up from your bed and went over to him, approaching him gently as you tapped his shoulder.

“Um, sorry to bother you, but do you know what time it is?”

Azusa looked up at you, his eyes taking in your genteel features, the way your hair fell into your face and rested against you, the delicate curves of your lips forming into a lethal asset that left him dumbfounded on the spot.

He felt like time had stopped, your gentle voice continuing to echo in his ears despite it being silent.

After a moment, he answered, “I don’t . . . know . . . sorry.”

You smiled, “It’s okay.”

Azusa smiled in return, your figure sitting down on the bed in front of his again, continuing to wait for your ride.

The silence was k!lling the boy in front of you as he twiddled with his fingers. And from there, he decided to make minor conversation with you, just about little things while you waited for your ride, such as what your name was, why you were here and whatnot.

Soon enough, your ride came, but before you left, he offered you the lollipop the nurse gave him.

You refused since she had given you one as well, but he insisted that you take it anyways, a smile on his face as he placed it in your hand.

You smiled back at his sweet gesture. “Bye, guess I’ll see you around.”

“Bye . . . I hope you . . . feel better.”

Giving him one final wave, you were off, feeling eager to go home and rest.

“She’s . . . cute.” He thought, a small smile on his face after you left.

And deep down, he just hoped he’d see you again, even if it was just from a distance.

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beautifulpersonpeach · 9 months

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Any real relationship seems completely impossible in the situation those 7 are in. I do find it hard to believe those needs are not being meant somehow, at least hopefully. I do think the idea of two people finding love in that situation is adorable.

I have two ships ... Jikook and Yoonmin.

I see relationship changes and its almost like no one else sees it. It seems like Yoonmin was particularly close in the early years, then Jikook became super close up until about Yet To Come and Yoonmin seemed distant during the same period and now Jikook seems more distant but Yoonmin seem close again.

Am I crazy? Please tell me you see this as well...

***

Hi Anon,

Jikook have always been close. In their early years Jimin was very close with Jungkook and Yoongi, but in very different ways and even back then, he was still closer to Jungkook.

For Jikook, practicing late together, sleeping in the practice room together, speaking in their local dialect together, Jimin providing key emotional support to Jungkook at that time, even being one of the key reasons Jungkook decided to debut in BTS and not abandon the group to become a dancer… jikook were very close.

During that time Jimin was also close to Yoongi, being the first member to visit Yoongi’s home, Jimin being one of the only members Yoongi could initiate skinship with comfortably, something important to developing the sort of trust necessary for the group, Yoongi providing crucial emotional support to Jimin during their debut years… the sort of bond yoonmin developed during those early years cannot be overstated. For Jimin to mention it in his Festa notes almost a decade later, in filmed content years later, it will always be a defining factor of their relationship.

Over the years, Yoongi focused on other things while Jimin and Jungkook’s relationship appeared to only deepen. All that’s happened now is that all three of them are spending less time with each other on camera, and possibly in general. Yoonmin might seem closer to you recently because of the uptick in interactions we’ve seen between them in Run BTS episodes and shows like SOOP in the last three years, the Feel the Rhythm of Korea ad campaigns in 2022, the similarity their music production choices recently, and their joint promotion schedules earlier this year.

Also, I don’t think jikook look distant. Like, at all. I mean, we all saw that man shaking ass on a boat with Jungkook. Was that even three weeks ago? Jikook are always jikooking. That’s kinda their thing. It’s one of the only reasons I’m here tbh, because I can rely on those two men to jikook sooner or later.

Jungkook really likes Jimin as a person. Think about that. As a human being, Jimin is someone Jungkook respects and genuinely likes. Likes him so much he carries Jimin bridal style when they’re drunk, refuses Jimin’s cries to be put back down because Jimin is laughing too hard while he’s pounding on Jungkook’s chest with those perfect hands, and then finally, Jimin bites him. Bites him in the neck, right in the jugular. Bites him hard enough to leave a bruise they both show off to their bandmates the next day. Do you understand what you just read? And this was during a time people were swearing up and down the internet that they were distant.

Listen, I have no doubts, ever, that jikook are jikooking.

And so Anon, while I appreciate your point of view as someone who loves yoonmin and jikook, I disagree on that summary timeline. I agree with you though that pursuing a relationship for them must have its own set of challenges, making it almost impossible sometimes. But I trust they’re okay. Thanks for the fun ask.

#jimin #park jimin #yoongi #Min Yoongi #Jungkook #jeon Jungkook #yoonmin #jikook #BTS #Bangtan

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