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#but I live by myself now and have bills to pay so
sunstonez · 2 days
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FUNDRAISING BILLS AND GROCERIES
Hello my name is Valentine. I am a physically disabled, visibly autistic nonbinary lesbian. I really need help with paying my bills this month.
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I have spent the last two years going through Canadian provincial courts to put my pedophile biological father in jail. I have succeeded and his sentencing date is set for mid June, but this has come with a huge financial cost to me. I had to go on long term disability leave due to the stress. I had to pay for travel between provinces over several years. I have been living off of 60% of my income while I am on leave from work, supporting not only myself but my spouse as well, a disabled trans woman. I have maxed out our credit card, and have several thousand dollars owed in a consumer proposal.
I was supposed to return to work in May (which would have added to our monthly income), but my employer literally forgot I was disabled, and did not properly prepare for me to return to work, delaying my return until July.
Right now are behind on our phone bill, power bill, and internet bill. The consumer proposal payment is coming up on the 16th. Not to mention the cost of groceries, laundry money, bus tickets, medication, etc.
My goal is to raise $650.00 CAD.
Pictured below are the outstanding bills. $97.29 for the phone bill, $216.11 for our power, and $201. 59 for the internet.
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The remaining amount of 135.00 would go towards groceries, laundry money, bus fair, etc.
If you have questions please feel free to DM me or comment here. I can provide receipts and other documentation as proof.
Updates will be provided in the replies of this post.
P*yp*l: p*ypal.me/hepelva
E-tr*nsfer (if you're Canadian): [email protected]
Thanks so much for reading. If you can't help that's okay! Reblogs are beyond appreciated 🙏💕
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dreamlogic · 4 months
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2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)
#ctxt#i'm on medication that's reduced my post-hysterectomy pain by about 70%#i have an intake appointment with a physical therapist in march & a referral to start trigger point injections#to hopefully finally recover as completely as possible from the nightmarish neuropathy that's plagued me since uuuhhhh#going on 2 years ago. holy shit. genuinely can't believe i've been surviving & functioning as well as i have for this long#while suffering a disabling & extremely painful surgical complication. fuck my original surgeon for brushing me off during that time#but the new provider i'm working with is so responsive & thorough in her approach & seems genuinely committed#to helping me finally get relief after all this time. she listens to my feedback & is flexible in her approach#and her assistant is a great communicator who's been handling most of the logistics of care coordination for me#and what a huge fucking relief that is. to not have to drag my doctors kicking & screaming towards maybe treating me eventually#i wanna cry. i finally feel like i'm being taken seriously and cared for. and i'm not BETTER yet (might never be the same as i was pre-op)#but i actually feel optimistic for the first time in over a year that i won't just have to deal with this agonizing pain on my own forever#i might actually see enough improvement that i can start to get back to living my life instead of just surviving it#money is tighter than it's been since i got laid off during early pandemic and that's stressing me out#but i promised myself that i would put my health first in 2024 and that means only working the bare minimum needed to pay my bills for now#genuinely i so fucking needed a break. i felt like i was trying to swim through a meat grinder last year#and it wasn't until i ended up in the ER about it that i finally was able to take my own pain seriously enough#to put my foot down & make some necessary changes that are now letting me focus on Getting Well With Myself at last#in hindsight it's like. really freaking me out how thoroughly i was able to compartmentalize & dissociate from how miserable i was#bc nobody who had the ability to help me would take me seriously & my shitty boss was like. extremely textbook emotionally abusive#and on one hand that was a survival mechanism that kept me on my feet during one of the worst times of my life. so props to myself there#but it was also very maladaptive how long & unnecessarily it went on before i snapped out of it & escalated things for my own safety#it was the same helpless frustration i often felt as a kid of like 'well nobody is on my side but me so i gotta suck it up & help myself'#and i think the family trauma shit that was going on last year definitely contributed to that. idk sense of doubling across time?#and things had to get Extremely Bad before they were bad enough for me to realize that although i felt like it#i am no longer an isolated & parentified island of a child who is beholden to the whims of ignorant & indifferent adults#i actually can and should take action to advocate for myself bc i am an adult and i CAN now change my circumstances as needed#instead of just enduring them as if i'm stuck there with no agency or chance to change things#and i have a really solid support system who helped me feel like it was possible to stand up for myself to get the help i desperately need#chronic blogging
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jinjofitzo · 4 months
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i fucking hate being black in america sometimes
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jakeperalta · 11 months
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spent weeks psyching myself up to stand up to my mum and then immediately got shot down by her 😃👍
#vent incoming i apologise in advance for the long tags#we've lived together just the two of us since dec 2021 (although her boyfriend is here like 2/3 of the time as well)#and since i got my job in march 2022 i have been paying half of all the bills (literally down to like tv license when i barely watch the tv)#which is £300 a month#plus i buy all my own food + pay for the amazon prime she uses + contribute to various household things like toilet roll etc#and she doesn't have a mortgage so i am paying the same amount as her to live in her house#(and it is very much her house not our house)#and I've never been very happy with any of that but never complained either#but then recently it turned out she never set up the water bill when we moved in (it's one of the only bills i didn't sort for us)#so we have a huge backdated bill from dec 2021 and i knew she was going to tell me to pay half#so for the past month or so I've been preparing myself for this conversation and sure enough today she came and said 'we owe £700'#so i was like 'oh i thought maybe it would've been covered by my £300/month' which is the biggest stand I've been able to work myself up to#and she immediately started going on about how i live here too and use water too so it's just as much my responsibility to pay#and how when we're both earning i should be paying my share and i was like yeah i know that's why i never complained about paying before#but also i already pay more than most people would to live with their parents#and she went off about how actually most people charge their grown up kids rent on top of the bills so really i'm lucky i don't have to#(when she got the original £300 figure it was actually rounded up from like £240 to include 'rent' but i wasn't gonna bring that up now)#and in conclusion she doesn't see why she should be subsidising my bills#like i don't know maybe because you're my MOTHER and i am your CHILD who is just starting out in the adult world#and maybe that entitles me to being treated better than some lodger???!!!!!#anyway i paid the bill and now i'm trying and failing at not crying at my desk 😃#talking
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lmolm · 30 days
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feeling a bit sad cause i really did lose all my skills i.e. i haven't made a gif in 4 years, i'm scared to change my theme cause i don't remember a single thing about html (and i used to make custom themes before), i feel like i'm not enthusiastic enough to be a part of community anymore (even though i do realize it's unreasonable and it doesn't matter). i guess this is what is adulthood is about cause i just can't bring myself to actively engage and enjoy time in a fandom because it's v time consuming & requires to have at least some mental energy and i ain't got both of them... i wish i could be 19 again & skip a class to go home to watch a day6 comeback
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itsnotalemon · 1 year
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Try not to drop out of college challenge
#i have cried so much today because i just keep getting burnt out to the point where i can no longer take care of myself because of college#i was ready to give next semester a shot but now i literally have to take even more classes#i feel stupid here#literally the only reason im going to keep trying is because then ill live in the same city as my partner#they have helped me through so much just by getting me out of my dorm and putting me to work outside#shes the reason ive probably made it so far into this semester#maybe im just a dumb fucking young adult but there is no way working a job and paying bills could be worse than this#like#cuz im going into major fucking debt for this STUPID fucking private school#and most of the shit im learning about i literally do not fucking care about#im not creating art#and while granted. the shit im learning is beneficial for my art#I FUCKING HATE THE ART IM MAKING HERE#im fucking broke all the time#i dont have enough free time or mental stability because of my school to handle having a job whole learning#but when im not at school and i can work literally everything is fucking fine#i love my job#i love where i live#i fucking hate the people where im from but who cares i literally dont talk to anyone#AND THATS THE OTHER THING#I FUCKING HATE THE MAJORITY OF MY PEERS HERE#I LITERALLY ONLY GET ALONG WITH THE UPPER CLASSMEN AND I HAVE HARDLY ANY CLASSES WITH UPPER CLASSMEN CUZ GUESS FUCKING WHAT!!!!#IM IN SOME BAUHAUS FUCKING ASS SCHOOL AND ALL THIS SHIT IS IS FOUNDATION EDUCATION ABOUT ART AND FUCK ALL ABOJT WHAT YOU REALLY WANNA LEARN#fuck this school bro#im so tired#i really need to go to my class tomorrow but i dont know if i can mentally handle it#i just wanna go home#i miss living a hop skip and a jump from the woods#i miss my car too#vent
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girlscience · 1 year
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I really hate that there is something about me that is just so.... infantilizable. I have had a lot of friends do it, I'll say or do something and they'll just go "ohhhh lee.... noo" in like a patronizing baby voice. like I'm just silly or stupid or too innocent to know what's going on. Or like I brought pancakes for lunch today, which seems like an okay lunch to me, but my coworker told me I eat like a baby.
#there have been so many people my whole life who have been worried about me being unable to live on my own#people who think I am a danger to myself#people who think all my hobbies are childish#people who think my home is decorated childishly#people think I don't dress adult enough#I have the artistic skills of a 12 year old#I have been on less than 5 dates in my life have not kissed anyone have not had sex#find a lot of things about relationships and sex wildly uncomfortable in a way a lot of other people don't#I feel incapable of having real deep long term relationships#all my life people have told me 'ohhh you are so good with kids!!' and i'm not really#i just like all the same things they do#2 of my cousins are 13 and 16 and i get along better with them than any other family members because i have the same interests and hobbies#as two teenage boys... but the thing is that's been true since they were like 10#and now that they are teens suddenly they are doing things i haven't even done and it's like they are becoming grown and i'm still not#I don't know. I am an adult. I have a full time job. I have my own apartment. I pay my own bills#but i still like the things i did when i was 12#and i don't like it when people are mean for no reason#and i don't know that i'm super trusting but i definitely believe people when they tell me things#and so i think i just come off almost naive or innocent or dumb#i am constantly telling my family 'so and so said this!' and they'll go 'that's not true' or 'they made that up' or some other thing#and I end up going 'well that's just what they told me!!' and they're like '*deep sigh* we know lee'#it just... it just SUCKS
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trying to figure out if grad school is truly worth putting myself into debt for ruhroh girlies
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girlhorse · 1 year
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truly been at my limit for a long time now and i dont know what to do anymore
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queercatboyrights · 8 months
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anyone got any tips on getting art industry jobs w/o a college degree bc holy fuck this shit is horrendous /oAo;\
#nebbles talks#s.struggling to. survive working full time and still trying to get an illustration degree..#wish i. couldve taken the semesters off for work again like i did last year#but. unfortunately. since someone decided to change lanes w/o checking for. yknow. traffic in that lane. i now have an extra $200/month#to pay in bills. :)))))#not to mention the horrendous interest rate i got fucked over with :)))))))))#not even looking at the terrible financial stress the stress of these classes themselves is INSANE#like. one prof says hes ''simulating working with real clients'' with how he formats the class#which to him just means 'im going to assign you three major projects at once'#each of which have overlapping and hard set due dates for an asinine amount of preliminary work that can take up to 6 hours EACH#plus you have to submit at least 2 pages for all your preliminary work describing WHY you chose your colors or shapes#and HOW the colors and shapes are effective visual elements#and then you also have to submit a mini essay that describes how your art might fair against other real businesses art and illustrations#like. my guy. i have to work 35 hours a week. and do homework for 4 other classes.#i cannot physically keep up. with that kind of a pace. without killing myself in the process with self-neglect#just. do not understand why i have to run myself ragged and to the brink of total collapse and failure.#just so i MIGHT get improved odds of getting a decent job that wont even help me get above the poverty line#like. i wanna be able to make art for a living and be able to live comfortably#but that just doesn't seem like its possible in the society thats currently set up rn#just. AUHG#;w;
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fantastic-artemis · 9 months
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How to find a job that doesn't make me despair to live
#I LOVE the library but i've been part time for two years and i am not making enough to support myself lmao#i am very fortunate to have a lot of savings but i live alone in an apartment i signed for when i had two jobs and now that my income is#cut in half things are rough#and i have interviewed a dozen times or more for a promotion to full time and they aren't budging#and then yesterday one of the managers was micromanaging me and my shitty coworker was mocking my menial tasks lol#bc he is info staff and i am just lowly circulation so i have to keep my head down and shelve the books i guess?? even tho he doesn't do#jack shit and gets paid double what i do and is full time#like i got scolded and told to stop preparing for my presentation that is tonight bc i should have been making sure the books were in the#right order on the shelves lmao#meanwhile this guy has been booking vacation flights all morning#and even if i get full time and even though i work at a comparatively VERY well paying library#im still not going to make much#i have a degree in journalism and communications that im not using bc that shit made me feel dead inside#and i wanted to do something that mattered#but the things that mattered are not paying my bills or buying me a new winter coat or allowing me to do things like get a haircut or buy#clothes that i like or go out with friends or start new hobbies#and im just like is it worth it??? is this worth it???#like im not desolate or anything but i deny myself things every day bc im fine now#but i dont know how much longer i have to make the money stretch#and im tired#i just wanted to do something real that helped people#every day i get to work around books and talk about books and help people access social services#i helped a kid with homework and an elderly lady access job resources and showed a kid his favorite book series that he got so excited#about that he yelled all in the same day and it was fantastic#it mattered#but#is it worth it???#this was the dream i worked so hard for and now im looking at all that hope and effort like. this didn't save you either#idk yall its rough out here#me
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communistkirby · 3 months
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Help a Black trans dyke follow her blue-collar dreams!
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(id in alt text)
yo! for those who don't know me, my name is Beryl (she/they/it/xe pronouns), and i am a disabled afrolatine trans woman living in the south with my husband, who is also disabled. we moved down south to escape homelessness and an abuser, and while we are fortunate to be living in much more affordable housing than we were in before, we still have rent and other bills to pay even though my husband is too sick to work and has been crowdfunding online for our survival for years. i have always wanted to become an electrician, and have an opportunity to apply to my local electrician's union as an apprentice, where i will be paid and trained and have a guaranteed job once my training+apprenticeship are complete! the only downside is, the application costs money we dont have right now, and i also have to pay to get copies of documents i need for my application, and to get my license back (i have been without one for nearly 3 years after losing it and being unable to get my license renewed). i am going to need a total of $90 to cover the application fee itself, all the costs associated with getting my driver's license back, and getting the last document i need for my application mailed to me. having this taken care of would be beyond huge for me, as i would be able to apply for and begin earning money for myself instead of having to rely on donations, and it would take a MASSIVE strain off of my husband, who has worked himself sick trying to help us stay afloat, both through crowdfunding online and in the past working at regular jobs even though he was in no state health wise to do so. i have venmo and cashapp, and my husband has paypal if folks prefer that to chip in (if you send thru paypal leave a plug emoji so my husband knows its for me!) thank you so much.
(please do not tag this post unless it is for an accessibility reason!)
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gommyworm · 11 months
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:^}
#nothing like talking to my mom to make me completely unravel and reconsider every one of my life choices 🫠#casual cry at work bc i dont know what to do with my life and i have no goals and i will never be well enough off to satisfy my mom looool#like i know shes scared bc we grew up super poor n she struggled to get where we are now massively but like#why do i need to make 200k to make her happy lol#like im making a decent salary at my full time job and i want to pursue more school so i can expand my horizons and look into diff careers#bc i find my job boring ! altho im very thankful for it !#but i dont wanna do this for the rest of my life !!!! id literally rather be dead than sit at a desk writing emails for 40 years !!!!!#i was talking to her about going back to my uni and making my minor into a major so i can get a secdon degree#since i already took the majority of the courses i can finish the second degree in 1 year ! i already planned out all the courses n stuff!#but shes like what do u want to do with that why are u wasting ur time doing things that wont put more money in ur pocket#im gonna be applying for my masters this year anyway so i was like might as well do something entertaining with the next year#get a degree out of it n all and then hopefully attend my masters program the next year ? like isnt that cool and impressive or whatever ?#its for my ego ! it makes me feel like im progressing rather than staying stagnant at my job i dont like !#but she just wants me to make more money lmao like i know moneys tight and its hard n everything#eugh#and shes like increasing the mortgage payments bc she qants to pay the house off asap but making our monthly bills cost more#so it always feels like were one step away from being in a hole we cant get ourselves out of#like why is my entire life focused on making money and supporting a famkly rn lmao im 25 and ive barely been able to live#i judt want to do soem things for myself ! make myself feel good about myself !!!#im sureounded by stem people with nice jobs and good degrees !! all these 22 year olds with masters under their belts and im stuck !!!!#boring and useless and havent lived up to any potential lol im so tired of my stupid inferiority complex i just want to feel like#an interesting and accomplished person like everyone expected me to be !!! especially myself !!!!#this fucking sucks#looking at law school applications again#might try to do an lsat in september or something ig#gommywords
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pierregazly · 26 days
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simply a joke ꨄ lewis hamilton
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lewis hamilton x assistant!reader
warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral (f!receiving), lewis was pining and reader was oblivious [1.6k words]
request: 🌶 I would request for Lewis Hamilton and [20. “I’m gonna fuck you so good you forget all about that bastard.”]
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The bill was placed down on the table, the waitress giving you a sympathetic look as she openly asked whether it would be cash or card.
“You don’t mind paying right? I’ll forward you the money, just forgot my wallet of course, such a lapse of memory sometimes,” he said, an arrogant smirk on your blind date’s face while he waited for your response.
Humming in acknowledgement, you muttered that it would be on card to the waitress. 
You didn’t give him much of a chance to say anything further, bidding him a farewell the moment the bill was paid, and a denial to a second date. The shock on his face made your smile grow when you whirled around, making the trek towards your car while you contemplated how your life had even got to this point.
A quick text sent off to the only person you actually wanted to see was met with an easy ‘I’ll leave the door unlocked, see you soon’, prompting you to direct your car in the opposite direction of your own home.
Lewis was always happy to have you over, saying more than once you may as well just move in with him with how often you were there anyways. Always shrugging the comment off, you would just laugh and remind him the two of you see each other enough during the week and that you were pretty sure Mercedes would be unhappy with a driver and his team-assigned assistant living together.
“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what they would want, actually? Full access for both of us, love,” Lewis practically had the response memorized, a shove to his shoulder the only answer he ever received to it.
Huffing as you flopped down on the couch next to the Brit, Lewis quirked a questioning eyebrow at you, silently imploring as to what could possibly be creating your current set of emotions.
“I’ve just come back from a date, what an absolute nightmare, Lew. I’ve never met someone who managed to talk about themselves more than that guy. Don’t think I even got a word in,” you complained.
A small chuckle fell from Lewis’ lips, his hand gently patting your knee with a sympathetic expression falling across his face.
“Like… am I the problem, Lew? Be honest, because I’m going insane here, I don’t think I’ve even had sex in months. I genuinely think I’m on the verge of insanity,” you said, practically begging for a response from the Brit.
Huffing, Lewis turned his gaze onto you. Looking you up and down, you felt yourself heat under his gaze. You would never admit it aloud, but you couldn’t deny that the Mercedes driver was borderline gorgeous. 
“I think if all you’re looking for is sex, going on a date in the outfit you’re wearing right now… well it’s not doing you any favours, really.”
Pouting at him, you looked down at your outfit while trying to decipher what was wrong with it.
He continued, “before you start, there’s nothing wrong with the outfit. You look gorgeous, really. But you’ve got the buttons up all the way to the top, the pants aren’t formfitting at all, and you’ve got incredible legs, you just refuse to wear shoes that accentuate them. You’re dressed like you’re going to a business meeting, not like you’re going on a date with the intention of being taken home after.”
He emphasized his words by coming closer, flicking open the top four buttons, allowing the top of your breasts to peak through, the lacy bra you were wearing visible to the open-eye. 
“You don’t get it, Lew. Sure, I could wear a shirt that shows off my breasts, pants that accentuate my ass… but I don’t just want sex. Sure, yes, I want sex… but I want to be taken seriously, I want to be taken on a real date and actually enjoy myself.”
“I could give you both, but you keep denying my offer,” he shrugged his shoulders, turning his attention back towards the television.
Trying to wrap your mind around his words, “You act like your offer is ever serious, Lew. We both know it’s a joke.”
“You’re the one who says it’s a joke and that I’m not being serious. Not sure what else I’m really meant to say that’s going to make you believe me, love,” he said.
You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. He had been making jokes like this for years. It was easy to assume they were comments he made with everyone, his personality naturally flirtatious.
Your body moved on instinct, pressing yourself closer to him as you contemplated your next words.
“Can I kiss you, then?”
He didn’t give a response before he was pressing his lips to yours, his hand instantly pressing to the back of your neck, tugging you closer to his body. His lips were soft, his tongue wet as it pressed gently at your lips, begging for an entrance. 
A soft moan fell from your mouth when Lewis pulled your body on top of his, your legs encircling his waist. You ground your core against his, a rumble of a groan falling from Lewis’ own lips, his head falling back against the couch behind him.
“God, baby. I’m gonna fuck you so good you forget all about that bastard, about fucking all of them, I swear.”
The whimper that fell from your lips was unintentional, your body subconsciously grinding down against the hardness growing between his legs; the pit in your stomach growing, the desire for him so prevalent in your actions.
You had never realized how much you truly wanted this, how much you wanted those comments you thought to be jokes, to be real.
“That better not be a joke, Lew,” you moaned, his lips pressing to your neck as he guided your hips back and forth over his lap. 
You felt your back hit the couch, Lewis’ body crawling over top of yours as he began kissing down your body. The buttons on your shirt having come undone at some point making it easier for the Brit to continue his ministrations across your skin.
Looking up at you imploringly, his tattoo-covered hand tugged gently at the waistband of your pants, a silent question in his eyes. You nodded eagerly, lifting your hips slightly so he could tug the offending material off.
He lightly nipped at your hip, pressing a kiss to sooth the heated skin before continuing his actions to the other side. Small love bites, kisses, short presses of his tongue to your skin as he continued to move down your body. Lifting a leg to press a gentle kiss to the inside of your thigh, you moaned at the action.
It didn’t take long for your panties to join the discarded pants, his eyes hungrily taking in the display. You couldn’t help the self-conscious thoughts, your legs instinctively closing around his body. 
“Nuh-uh, none of that, pretty girl,” he said, his hands pushing your legs open.
A finger gently pressed to your core, parting your lips as he ran a finger through them, collecting the wetness that was seeping from you. A tiny whimper departed your lips as you watched Lewis bring the finger to his mouth, sucking the collected juices from the digit.
It was like watching a man possessed as he got in between your legs, your hands finding their way to his head as the first press of his tongue resonated throughout your body.
There was no surprise that he was skilled with his tongue, the same way he was skilled with his fingers; the same way he was skilled when he put his mind to anything else he desired success in.
His fingers moved in tandem with his tongue, pressing against the spot inside your core that had you practically keening for him, your hips pressing up against his face; the only thing keeping his mouth from drowning in your wetness was the hand he had pressed to your pelvis, pushing you back down against the bed.
A loud moan fell from your lips as Lewis sucked at your clit, a third finger joining the other two inside you, a squelching sound vibrating throughout the living space as you felt yourself hit your peak.
Your orgasm crashed through you, your legs shaking as Lewis’ fingers and tongue slowed down, allowing you to ride out your orgasm. Your head was still thrown back when you heard the sound of more clothes hitting the floor, your eyes peaking open to a view that had your mouth practically watering.
It was common knowledge that Lewis was an incredible sight. From his hardened muscles, to the pops of ink that covered his body, everyone knew he was gorgeous. But his cock? All you wanted to do was wrap your lips around it, which in time, you knew you’d be able to.
But for now? All Lewis wanted to do was press inside you, feel the way your walls pulled him in, the way your wetness coated him, the way you’d stretch so lovely around him.
“On your knees, pretty girl. I wanna’ see this lovely arse when I push inside you for the first time, been thinking about it lots.”
You were quick to do as he demanded, flipping your body over so you were on your knees, resting on your elbows as you felt the couch dip behind you.
A low whimper fell from your lips as you felt him run his length through your wetness, coating his cock in your juices before pressing the tip inside. The stretch was delicious, your body pushing back against his, begging for more.
Obliging, his entire length pushed forward, your lips wrapping around him, the wetness dripping from your core making it easier for him to slide inside.
“Gonna fuck you so good, make you never wanna leave, baby. Can’t wait to feel you cum all over my cock, been wanting to feel that for ages,” he whispered in your ear, biting at the lobe as he pulled away.
Moans and grunts fell from your lips with every thrust of his hips, his body seeking the release he knew yours could give him. The way he made you feel, the feelings his body evoked from yours; it made you insatiable, made you crave the feeling more and more. Made you regret ever believing his comments were simply a joke.
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anyways. i got carried away. please enjoy (reader has a hand kink specifically for lewis as i also do sorry!!! bye!!!)
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celestie0 · 9 days
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I actually kinda like the accidental pregnancy trope idk just two characters learning to coparent and then eventually falling in love is kinda cute 🥹 I’d love to see what you write for gojo I feel like he’d be scared but end being such an amazing dad
gojo x reader | accidental pregnancy trope [drabble]
little miracle. a gojo x reader story
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a/n. ok anon i basically started answering this ask very minimally but i couldn't stop myself from writing and it basically became an entire story so enjoy i guess?? LOL my bad <3 warnings/tags. domestic fluff, angst, mentions of sick parent, mentions of death, pregnancy symptoms. there is happy ending!! word count. 2.2k
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gojo and you are in your mid twenties but you're both just barely getting by, you're a new writer living in a tiny apartment in a big city and gojo is the cute waiter at your favorite diner who's just saving up some money because he wants to go back to school and you're both kindaaa crushing on each other, flirting w one another. the restaurant gojo works at ends up starting meal delivery option, and you order some pizza to your apartment just so that you can see him on a weekday and he's soooo super cheeky with it leaning in the doorframe entryway of your apartment with the pizza in his hand like "it says here someone ordered a hot guy in some super sexy black jeans, well he's here now" and you're like "you're such a fuckin idiot" and you abandon said pizza to fuck him on your facebook marketplace couch.
fast forward the next day n you wake up, but he's not there anymore. he left you a little note that says he's going away for a month since his mom is sick and he needs to be w her. you're confused by the note, and you wish he left his phone number because you realize you have no way of contacting him. but that's ok, he'll be back soon, right?
in the couple weeks following the night you both hooked up, you're feeling like shit in the mornings, nauseous, you realize you've missed your period but you shrug it off because it was never really normal anyways. but one morning you throw up, confused as hell, wondering if you got food poisoning. but as you swing your legs back and forth in your paper gown, sitting high up on your primary care doctor's examination room bed, they tell you that you're pregnant and you act like you've never even heard the word before.
there's no doubt gojo is the father, you haven't slept w anyone except him in months. and a baby was just...you can barely afford to pay your bills, you're already living paycheck to paycheck since your book isn't even out yet and you're just surviving w the advance from your old job. what the hell were you going to do? and you can't even tell him that you're pregnant, because he's god knows where, stranding you with no phone number to contact him and you feel so left behind and alone.
the first person he comes to see when he gets back into the city is you. he looks tired, probably from his travels, or possibly from what he saw back home w his mom laying sick in bed. but he's still so happy to see you, and he kisses you and tells you he missed you and you stop him to tell him that you need to talk. for him, there was life before you told him you were pregnant, and then there was life after. and now he was living in the after. standing still in the tiny living room of your apartment when you tell him he's the father, and the words that leave your mouth afterwards are drowned out in his head because he can only focus on that one thought at once.
father. he's going to be a father? whatever heaviness he finds in his chest from the word is replaced with adoration when he looks at you.
keeping it, was what you had told him next.
it was tough at first, because of the morning sickness and the hormones and the yelling at him for not bringing you the kfc you craved so badly a minute before he did, and then the crying that follows suit when you realize you're being mean to him. but he does everything you want, everything he knows how, because he doesn't know how to be a dad, and he figures the least he can do right now is know what to do for you. and the thought scares him, to death every day. as he's driving you to your doctor's appointments, he's praying under his breath that you and baby are ok and healthy. while he's waiting tables at work, he puts on his best smile for an extra tip because it's extra money for the baby, because she isn't even here yet and he already wants to give her everything she's ever wanted.
yes, she. a baby girl. you were having a baby girl. you cried when your ob/gyn slipped and told you the gender, because you asked for it to be kept secret, but what hurt even more was that you told gojo he didn't need to come to this appointment. just a routine little check up, not a big deal. i'll just have my friend drop me off, you said. little did you know it was the one where you would find out you two were having a little girl.
oh, gojo knows nothing about girls. would it be different from raising a boy? can he play wrestle w her when she's a little older, or would he have to be gentle with her? would he learn how to make flower crowns for her with daisies from the field just to see a smile on her tiny face? how will he ever be able to deny her anything, especially if she looks just like you?
the second trimester, you two felt like a young married couple, and for once it felt like things were bright. like you two knew what you were doing. like it wasn't a mistake, but a blessing. you wanted him, desired him, and he'd never desired anything more than he desired you. it took you a while to come around to having sex again, it felt wrong, because that was what got you two into this mess in the first place. but those feelings melted away when you two moved into his little ranch together on the outskirts of town and you knew what it felt like to be hugged by him in the mornings, his sleepy voice drawling in your ear about how much more beautiful you look with every passing day. in those moments, all the regret melts away.
it all comes crashing down in third trimester. you're angry, he's tired, you're sad, he swears he's trying his best but he just can't seem to understand what you need from him. you say you wished this never happened, he says he didn't ask for any of this, and you're sobbing on the kitchen floor with your head in your hands because it all just feels like some cruel twisted joke. like a dream you should be waking up from any second from now. he sits down on the cold tile beside you, solemn in the face. he already looks so much older than the bright eyed boy he used to be, twirling a pizza box around on his finger in the doorframe of your apartment. his cheeks have sunk in, and he looks older. his hand reaches out to hold yours, and he kisses the back of it, and he says he'll never leave. not like how he left all those months ago, with nothing but a note. no matter what it comes to, one thing he can always promise you, is that he'll never leave like that ever again.
when your baby girl was born, nothing else mattered. it's like all the turmoil you faced in the past eight months was not even worth paying a moment's care towards when you cradle her in your arms. gojo had been fighting back tears the entire time, mostly provoked by how difficult childbirth had been for you as he watched feeling helpless, but the moment he held his little girl in his arms, he couldn't fight back the tears anymore. and he cried, and he cried, and he cried. few fathers could treasure their daughters as much as gojo did, and he knows it's a promise every parent makes to their child, but he vowed he'll never let anything hurt her. never let anyone upset her. for as long as he lives, he'll keep all the cruelty away from her, and keep her safe forever. you both named her yuki, for snow drifting outside of the hospital window when she opens her eyes for the first time.
you two make the tough decision that it's best for gojo to go back to school like he originally planned while you take care of the baby at home. it's hard having him away, and it's torture for him too, since he seems to breathe and live just to make yuki giggle and smile. but it's what made fiscal sense, since you knew what it was like to grow up in a household with little money to feed or fend, and the two of you wanted more than that for your daughter.
gojo's mother succumbed to the very illness that had been haunting her since he visited her for a month over a year ago, and he cried to sleep when he realized she only got to hold her granddaughter once before she passed away. and for the first time in his life, gojo learned what it really meant to be a parent, and it was only found in losing his own. there was no time to grieve in the capacity that he wanted to, because he needed to be there for you and his little girl. a year ago, he would've been broken, beaten, and bruised, but now he bleeds only in his dreams, then buries and braves the seasons for the sake of you two. as he slips his shoes off at the front door after a long day, then walks into the dark of the house, turning the corner into your shared room, he sees you humming peacefully while rocking his daughter to sleep. and he realizes his entire world is sitting in that chair.
gojo graduates from his two year engineering program, and lands a job in the city. the same city you left to go live with him when you were pregnant. it was tough to come back to the same city you fled, because all you remember of it now is morning sickness and fear of your career and falling in love with a boy that had a boyish charming smile you knew would ruin you one day. and now he's taken you back, moving the little family you've made together into a house. a house! he bought you a house. it was a little one, with no more than two bedrooms, but there was enough room in your hearts to raise your daughter with love, and that was all she'd ever need. she can walk now, mumble words. she said dada first, and gojo never stops teasing you about it. and when she finally says mama, you felt like your whole heart would burst.
he proposes to you on the waterline of the city's park, at the top of golden hour while the wind is subtle and tame but still ruffles the fabric of your dress. waiter boy, on one knee in front of you, years of waiting tables but he cannot even bare to wait one more second to hear your answer to the most important question he'll ever ask anyone in his entire life.
and you say yes. and he promises he'll love you for the rest of his life.
the wedding is small, because you two decided not to invite all of the family that had become estranged ever since you told them that you were pregnant with a man's child who you weren't even so much as dating. his family became yours after that, with his aunts and uncles congratulating you and yuki's cousins playing with her before she was to skip down the aisle as flower girl. it was sad to see your side of the church so empty, but you could never truly feel empty in this world anymore. not with what all that you've gained in the process.
there is fear in love, and in life. there was fear in gojo's heart when he learned he was going to be a father when he barely even knew right from wrong. there was fear in learning you were going to be a mother when you knew you cannot protect your child from the same hurt that has haunted you for a lifetime. but there was joy too. joy in seeing your baby bump for the first time, joy in holding your daughter in your arms for the first time, joy in seeing a sparkling stone in a tiny box presented to you on a sunday by the boy who still made your heart skip a beat just by looking at him, and there was so much joy in marrying him too.
but you find the real joy comes in the moments that you expect nothing from at all, but they happily surprise you with the feeling nonetheless. like now, as you sit on a picnic blanket at the park and you watch your husband running across fluttering grass in the wind, chasing after your daughter whose giggles and shrieks fill the summer air. he catches her, throwing her up into the air before spinning her around in his arms, and you tuck your hair behind your ear as you watch it happen. you expected nothing from anything life had given you in the past four years, and yet it gave you all the joy in the world. where you could've expected sorrow and sadness, it gave you something beautiful instead. you never would've thought that the boy you locked eyes with through a shy flutter of your lashes underneath warm restaurant lighting, the one that winked at you with no shame despite you being surrounded by all of your friends, you never could've imagined he'd be who he is to you today. but for certain, now, you believe in it. you believe in little miracles.
.
.
.
[the end]
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a/n. what the flying fuck. i'm gonna go cry now lmfao.
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hiorisgf · 1 year
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↪the different ways the boys don't let you pay.
↪What's on your mind?: Actually I myself don't know where I'm going with this too. Heh.
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Boyfriends who, whenever you're about to pay for something using your own card—he's always there to slap your hand away and give the cashier his instead. Where did you get the idea that he'd let you pay for even a single one of your outings? Well either way, you ought to wipe that thought away because he'll make sure you won't even get the chance to hold your wallet since e this man's already paid for everything. Bastard is unecessarily agressive in the way he refuses to let you pay like bae, why does he have to look at you like you just said the most offensive thing to him in his entire career of living when all you just said is 'let me pay'😭😭
Itoshi Rin, Itoshi Sae, Chigiri Hyoma, Barou Shouei, Kurona Ranze
Loverboys that Immediately gets the wrong idea. Baby thinks he's done something wrong when you offer to split the bill. Like sir. What😃. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT. You have to assure him that he hasn't done anything wrong and that you just want to lessen his expenses because the dates have got to be expensive. Especially with how fancy the places he takes you to are 😭 But after you assure him that he's fine, that you aren't mad at him and all that, and he finally understands what you mean—this cute little bastard dares to go and give you the sweetest smile humanity would ever witness and lovingly tell you, "No."
Isagi Yoichi, Mikage Reo, Niko Ikki
Beloved little shits that would never miss the chance to take your wallet and hide it from you if ever an opportunity presented itself. He does it so that when you'd take your wallet to pay for the meal—only to realize that you've lost it, you'd have no choice but to rely on him to pay for it instead. Too busy wallowing yourself in embarrassment and the feeling of guilt, you fail to notice the small smirk that appears on his everloving face as he inwardly celebrates the success of his plans. HAH. YOU REALLY THOUGHT. Ehem. Now, dearest—just take a seat back and relax as he spoils the way you deserve to be pampered <3 (Also if you're worried about your wallet then he'd return it after the date's finished with that shit eating grin of his you'd like to punch)
Michael Kaiser, Alexis Ness, Bachira Meguru, Oliver Aiku
Pretty, loveable liars who'd gladly allow you to pay for the next meal with a smile on his fave. He chuckles and lovingly looks at you as you adorably pump your fists up in the air. Money in hand, you head to the cashier to pay for the two of you when suddenly the cashier decided to be a not so nice person when they reveal with a smile that the gentleman behind you,(which also happened to be your lover) had already paid for yours and his meal. You look at him, utterly and pitifully betrayed. Your lips turn into a pout as you look at him with watery eyes. And for a moment, they actually feel guilty about not letting you pay for this time.
Hiori Yo, Yukimiya Kenyu, Kunigami Rensuke
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