#but I have a friend with hazel eyes whose eyes do that so… | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

utterlyotterlyx · 2 months

Text

Say Yes To Heaven

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary - There was no bond that could compare to yours and Azriel's, not even in death.

Warnings - heart breaking angst and sadness, swearing, loss of a loved one, fluff, you're going to cry because I did before I even started writing this.

Work Count - 4.4k

Based on this ask

"I must be in heaven."

Prepare yourself...

Cedar had become your favourite scent.

It intoxicated you the moment he stepped into the room, the quiet male who kept to himself, shrouded in shadow, scanning the room intently whilst lingering toward the back of his clan.

Heart clenching in your chest, you examined him, the infamous spymaster of the Night Court who you'd never met before. He was beautiful, beautiful like moonlight and rain, and you beheld him with such grace that you never gave to anyone.

It was as though the universe knew, and as you glanced to him, you knew too. His stare hadn't found you yet, but he was looking for something, for someone, like he too could feel the gravitational pull that had taken hold of his essence the second he had stepped over the threshold of the ballroom.

A gold strapless dress clung to your figure, Helion's signature halo entrapped in your unbound waved hair. The candlelight embraced you in its golden glow, finding a kinship in you, and you basked in it. Originally from the Autumn Court, you had found a place in Helion's court as his second, his closest friend, his confidant. But something told you that the second the Shadowsinger looked to you, there was little Helion would be able to do to keep you.

Air escaped his lungs as he found the one his shadows had been whispering to him about. There you stood at the edge of the dais, your assigned place at the event thrown by your High Lord, skin glistening and eyes teeming with blissful shock. Your hands were folded in front of you, your shoulders were pushed back and your entire was poised and elegant.

Azriel cared little for court politics as his feet carried him absentmindedly in your direction, and not once did those hazel pools of torment move off of your face that was glowing in the light. He came to a stop before you, visibly breathless, and took your hand in his, feeling that pull swirl into a pit of yearning need in his stomach.

Sultry plucking of a harp consumed the room, an ethereal melody that possessed him like a siren did a sea merchant. A tune that was making him swoon, it complimented you and the moment perfectly.

Standing on the step below you, you looked down on him, expressionless but with soft features that he wanted to touch and etch into his memory. The world slowed, Azriel swore that it was you that stopped the world from spinning, to freeze time in that moment as that golden thread in his chest found its needle inside of your soul.

"Azriel," he told you his name, seemingly being the only thing he could coherently say to you, scanning your face in patient desire to hear one syllable fall from those lips with your hand still in his.

Tilting your head to the side, you smiled softly, "Y/N," your voice was angelic, soft like summer rain, as melodic as a lullaby.

Azriel had heard of you from Rhys who considered you to be a friend as much as Helion, you were a dream walker, able to tread along the line of the sleeping and living worlds unnoticed, to create and infiltrate the dreams of others, to throw your essence into the wind and see where she carried you.

A rare thing, so rare that you were the only known dream walker to walk Prythian in a millennia.

"I've been waiting for you," you dipped your head and smiled, a blush creeping up to your cheeks that made him grin at the captivating beauty of it.

Taking a step down from the dais, you peered up at the male whose wings were shielding you from the crowd of your friends no doubt staring at you both, a bewitching speckle of gold in your eyes, "So have I."

"I must be in heaven," Azriel smirked into your shoulder as he rolled his hips into yours.

He had dreamed of that moment, of having you laid bare beneath him, shuddering and moaning in delicious delight.

Azriel had waited months for it, he had waited as you took your sweet time to accept the bond, no doubt dragging it on purposefully to drive him mad, you were infuriating like that. He had waited until you had decided to leave Helion and settle your roots in Velaris, he had waited until you were ready to take that step, and not once did he complain or rush you.

The night you had accepted the bond formally was the same evening Azriel had moved you into the house he had ordered Rhys to build for you both the moment they had returned from the Day Court after meeting you. It was light and airy, it was brimming with warmth and love, it was the perfect harmony of both of your intertwined souls.

Azriel danced with you in the candlelight, holding you close to his chest and muttering his silent thanks to the Mother for the gift that was you, a mate who wasn't afraid of him, but who was instead enamoured by him.

It was that night you had cooked for him and assured him that you were ready, that he was everything that you ever needed and wanted. Azriel had gladly, and quickly, ate the meal you had presented to him before gathering you up in his arms and taking you to your shared bedroom.

"Say yes to heaven," you had breathlessly muttered back to him, your nails digging into the skin of his back and running along the thick membranes of his wings, "Say yes to me."

Azriel kissed you, moving inside of you like it was the only thing he was sure was right, that it was the only thing that made sense. Your bodies moulded together like molten gold in a crown casing.

"Yes. A thousand times yes," he spoke over your lips, grinning and capturing your lips in his own, running his fingers up your sides and furling them into your hair.

Entwined with you was the only place that gave him sanctuary, the only place where peace was able to find him and where the demons wouldn't dare journey to. Home.

Two hundred years of you.

Two hundred years of coming home and having you by his side, two hundred years of falling in love you with you more and more each day.

Not one bit of you had changed in that time, you were still the gentle, caring, loving soul that he met all those years ago. You still wore your signature gold, your eyes still sparkled with adoration when he walked into a room, even as your family grew with the additions of Feyre and her sisters, not once did your bond falter.

Even Rhys knew that he and Feyre couldn't compare to the bond you shared, a bond of tormented nightmares soothed by your touch, a bond of universe shattering love and yearning, a bond so strong that nothing would ever come between it.

Azriel never stopped smiling, he never lingered anywhere knowing that you were at home waiting for him, everywhere he went he took you with him, or a piece of you if you couldn't be there physically.

Rhys had sent your mate back to you with a smirk, noticing his incessant fidgeting on the chair before his desk, and Azriel didn't need telling twice before he bellowed from the house and soared into the skies, following your scent all the way to the hearth of your home.

You stood with your back to him, head peering over your shoulder like you had heard him coming from miles away, hair clipped up and spilling over your face, "Az," you breathed and rounded the seating area to bury your face in his chest, nuzzling into his cedar and warmth like a babe to a blanket. Azriel curled his arms around you, his shadows peppering your face in sweet kisses and dancing across your shoulders, "I've missed you."

The longest you and Azriel had ever gone without one another was a week, any longer and your bond would ache and crack, forcing you back together and humming in delight at the first featherlight touch before your bodies collided.

Cupping your face in his marred hands, hands that you had never grimaced at, he scanned your face like he did every time he returned to you, with glazed eyes, sketching your face to memory just so that he could dream of it when slumber took hold of him, "I missed you so much, my little dreamer."

His kiss was tender, full of exhaustion and need to have you close. Azriel scooped you into his arms, not being able to stop his lips from touching every bare patch of skin on show to him before he undressed you and made love to you for hours. Making sure that you knew how loved you were, how much he starved for you.

Once your head was nestled onto his chest and his fingers were tracing patterns into your shoulder, you felt him sigh, the exhale making your head drop a couple of inches. Craning your neck, you silently asked him what was wrong, your brows furrowing as he spoke, "Promise me that you'll always be by my side."

"I'll never leave you, Az."

"Promise me," he begged, "Promise me that you'll come back."

Caressing his cheek, your soothing voice uttered, "I'll come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream. I'll come back, always. I promise," a familiar burning coiled around your forearm, blank ink swirled and settled into the skin that lay there, a matching one appeared on his forearm and you wound yourself into him as tight as you could.

Tensions were rising with the war against Hybern looming and you knew that he was terrified, you knew if it was only him, if he didn't have you, then he would be fine. But he wasn't ready to lose you or himself, not when he wasn't ready to stop loving you.

Azriel had flown into a blind rage once Cassian had told him what you had been ordered to do.

The war was looming, accelerating even, and Azriel was trying frantically to keep you out of it.

Rhys had ordered you to dream walk into Hybern, into the King's sick and twisted mind. It was the only leverage they had, that the King didn't know of you so wouldn't know how to prepare against your abilities. You'd be able to figure out his plans, you'd be able to warp his mind into making the wrong move.

It was an order that you had agreed to, albeit begrudgingly, "I can't do it here. If there's any chance he knows of me and can use my magic to trace it to the source, then I can't be here."

Rhys had made sure to keep Azriel out of the meeting, he had made sure to busy him with something else, he knew that he wouldn't allow it, and Rhys needed you to agree. It wasn't like he enjoyed coming between you two, he loved you like a sister, he doted on you and appreciated every single thing you did from his family.

After the cauldron, you were instrumental in healing both Elain and Nesta, you infiltrated their dreams and filled them with light, you plucked away the horror, much like you had done for Azriel when you had first began your relationship, and locked them away in the chest in your mind where the nasty things went. Even Feyre had leaned on you, and you had gladly done the same for her, coaxing away her sickness and making her into the powerful female she had grown into.

Your gift was serene, you very rarely used it to do something bad, but the King of Hybern was a monster, one that needed to be stopped, and the war was drawing closer, and they were running out of options.

"You're not going anywhere," Azriel had growled from the doorway, glowering like the devil in disguise at his brother before approaching you, running his fingers down the side of your face and placing his lips on your forehead.

"Az," you trailed off, taking his hands in your own and forcing him to meet your gaze, "We don't have a choice."

Azriel shook his head, "I can't be away from you," he was terrified, terrified that you leaving would mean that he would never see you again.

Tears bubbled in your eyes, "I know," your bottom lip wobbled, "But you can't come with me. This is a part of me that I'm not proud of, I don't want you to see this. You're needed here, you need to protect our home."

"You are my home, y/n. Not Prythian. Not Velaris or the darkness. You. You're my little dreamer, I need you here where I know that you're safe."

"If I don't do this then we won't have a home to come back to, we won't come back to each other like we promised."

"No-"

"Az, we don't have a choice," you cupped his face and his fingers curled around your wrists, "I can do this, and we can win. And then we'll go home to our little house by the Sidra and make all of those babies we talked about, okay?"

Silence, "Okay."

Turning to Rhys, you told him, "There's a dream walker temple on the edge of Summer. I'll go there, I work better at dusk," you focused back on your mate as the sun began to dip in the sky, "Take me home. Please."

One more moment, one more moment of your love consuming you before the realisation settled in that there was a real chance that you'd never see one another again.

Azriel stood on the grass of your home, clutching onto you with every fibre of his soul, "What if we don't-"

"Don't say it."

"Y/N," tears spilled down his cheeks as they did on yours, your hands were fisted into his shirt and your forehead was pressed against his.

Purple had began to float across the sky, a warning that time was waning.

"I will see you when dusk meets dawn. I will see you in the stars and clouds. I will see you again," you strained through strangled sobs, "I love you Azriel. Thank you for finding me and giving me two hundred years of love and wonder. Thank you for loving me and becoming the only home I ever needed."

"You rescued me from myself," he breathed, "I'll look for you. I'll dream of you. I would go through all of my pain over and over again if it means that you're waiting at the end of it. I'll see you on the other side of the stars, my little dreamer. I love you," he blinked hard and tears fell from his eyes, ones that you brushed away before kissing him deeply, "Go. If you don't go now then I'll never be able to let go of you. I can't watch you go. Please y/n."

Pressing your lips to his one more time in a featherlight embrace, you stepped from his arms, shuddering at the cold that shrouded you in that moment and sobbed at his outstretched hands that were searching for you.

And then you disappeared, you vanished before your mouth could betray you and tell him what you had both been dreaming of.

It had spent your energy but it had worked.

Your journey into his mind had been successful and once you rose from the golden stone floor of the dream walker temple and saw the sun loom on the horizon, you screamed the news and findings into Rhys' mind and simultaneously flooded the straining bond with love, sighing as a tidal wave of adoration flowed back to you.

You had to get there, you had to reach the battlefield and help. Being Helion's former second meant that you were a gifted warrior, and even living in Velaris hadn't allowed you to take a break from that part of your life.

Ash floated from the sky, landing on your face as you winnowed to the edge of the field and gasped at the sight. There were mangled bodies everywhere, there was screaming and crying, and fighting surrounded you like your own personal nightmare.

The sky was dark with smoke and you frantically tugged on the bond, begging it to lead you to your mate. There was a chance now, a real chance that you'd both be able to go home and live the dream you'd always wanted.

Blue flashed in the corner of your eye and you saw him, he was surrounded, back to back with Cassian as a circle of enemies encroached on their position. Glancing to your side, you ripped a steel tipped javelin from the body of a long gone foe, throwing it in the air and grasping it with a perfect grip before hurtling it through the sky, smiling as it ripped through a total of six enemies.

Azriel and Cassian both snapped to your direction in awe at the fact you'd just taken out a third of the enemies around them with one throw. Cassian chuckled and relished in tearing the rest of the males limb from limb whilst Azriel nodded to you, asking if you were alright and only waiting a single beat for your confirmation before he continued on his onslaught.

There would be time to reunite later.

The war was bloody and horrible, you had never enjoyed killing anyone, but you were a ruthless and formidable opponent, no one could have tore you down when you had met Mor on the battlefield and made fast work of clearing the area.

You continued to fight, you continued and fought with every ounce of energy you could spare. You fought through the cauldron breaking and Rhys dying, you fought through the last remaining minutes before the surrender.

You fought until you realised that you couldn't feel him.

Stopping dead in your tracks, you dropped your sword and glanced around, noticing that none of your friends were on the battlefield, you dropped you sword and ran. Struggling panting breaths flew from your lips as you ran, hurtling over piles of bodies and around healers scouring the grounds for souls to save.

The camps were brimming with bloody males and females, all being tended to, some happy and others in shock. You tugged on the bond. Silence. You tugged on it again. Silence.

A clearing appeared and you saw them, you saw Cassian with his head in his hands, you saw Rhys leaning against Feyre and her red puffy eyes. The skimming of rocks alerted them to your presence and Rhys darted to you, "Where is he, Rhys?"

Your thick braid waved around as your head whipped across the clearing furiously, "I can't feel him. Where is he?"

Rhys grasped your arms then, forcing you to look at him. The entrance to the tent flapped in the wind and you could faintly see the drooped wings trailing off the table. Rhys was struggling to speak, he was taking in your furrowed brows and wide eyes, the parted lips and the softly shaking head, "No. No," you said to no one in particular as you took a step to the side.

You reached for the bond again only to feel nothing on the other side and you gasped, taking a tentative step toward the flapping entrance of the tent and inhaling deeply, faded cedar and night kissed air.

Your heart had registered it before your mind had, it was shattering in your chest and you grasped your stomach as it swelled in pain, gasping as it settled. Cassian cradled you in his arms, not being able to say anything, but looking up at him confirmed it and you burst into the tent without a second thought, clasping the entrance closed behind you.

Light floated through the tear in the far corner, slicing across the floor and over his figure, but you couldn't move, you couldn't breathe.

"Az?"

Nothing.

"Azriel?" You took a step toward him, praying that he was just injured and asleep, but as you took one glimpse at his face, you crumpled to your knees.

There had never been pain like it, you clawed at your chest and crawled along the dirt to the hand that was outstretched to you, like he had reached for you just before he left. You nuzzled your cheek onto his palm, begging for warmth, for some form of life.

Cold greeted you and you screamed, you screamed a strangled cry and sobbed, pulling on his hand and cupping it over your face like he was going to wake up and curl his fingers around your chin and kiss you and cry with you.

But he wasn't.

You grasped onto the edge of the table where he lay and drank in his pale face, his body void of dancing shadows, and you crawled into the tiny space at his side, curling onto his chest and rubbing your cheek against his leathers, "You promised," you cried, muffled into his icy skin, and at the words, you felt a searing pain spread across your body, one of broken bonds and promises as your tattoos began to vanish one by one.

Only in death will you be free of our promises, my little dreamer.

"Please, please, bring him back. Give him back to me. I can't live without him. Please." Craning your neck, you peered up at him, at his closed eyelids and peaceful smile, like he had drifted off into slumber and was dreaming of you. "We had it, Az. We were there. We're having a baby. You need to come back to me."

Silence.

Heart breaking sobs flowed through you, so painful that Nesta had to enter the tent, a sob escaping from her own lips at the sight of you curled into Azriel's lifeless size, you had draped his arm over you, you were pressing your lips to the space below his ear, you were begging the Mother to bring him back to you.

"I was going to tell you after this, after we'd won. It would have made it all worth it, Our own little baby, our own little dreamer. Come back to me," your face crumpled, "You promised you'd never leave me."

Nesta approached, fingers outstretched to you and she placed a hand on your shoulder, watching painfully as you turned Azriel's head and placed your lips on his, sobbing against them and clutching your stomach, "I'll see you on the other side of the stars. I'll come back to you even if you can't come back to me. I'll dream of you every day. I love you, Az. I love you."

Mor refused to leave you, she cradled you as you cried and rocked you to sleep, she listened to your fearful sobs of going through your pregnancy alone, and she cried with you. They all cried harder, like air didn't deserve them when Nesta had told them of your condition, of losing Azriel and carrying his child.

Mor had continued to hold you as your body finally gave in and sleep confused your soul, carrying you to the place where the Mother knew where you needed to be.

Warmth floated over your figure, and your weary eyes opened, wincing at the light flitting through the open windows. Coffee and cedar clung to the air, and you shot upward, searching the landscape for the person you were breaking for.

"Hello, my little dreamer," his voice was like a symphony and you exhaled, straining your sadness in the action, and turned to the side to see him sat to your side. Azriel smiled sadly at you and thinned his lips, "I missed you."

A sob thundered through you and he was on you in an instant, cradling you to his chest and stroking your hair, "You left me."

"I know. I'm sorry, y/n. I'm so sorry," he pulled away and rested his forehead on your, tips of your noses touching and eyes scanning your face like they always did.

He was there but he wasn't, a symphonic figment of your imagination, or the Mother's final gift to you, to let you have him mentally if she couldn't allow you to have him physically.

"We're having a baby."

Azriel smiled, doing his best to contain his tears for you, he had to be strong for you, he was the one who had left you in the world of the living without him, "I heard you."

"You did?"

Azriel hummed, looking at you with adoration and wonder as his hand drifted to your abdomen, "You can do this," tears threatened to spill down his cheeks and he blinked them away furiously, "I know it's hard, and I know you feel alone, But I will always be here, you'll always be able to find me in your dreams."

"It's not the same," you strained, clutching hold of him like your life depended on it, which in that moment, it did, "I need you. Come back."

"I can't, my little dreamer," he caressed your cheek, stroking the reddened puffy skin with the pad of his thumb, "I'm too far gone. But I can stay here, on the edge of life and death with you until you want to send me away."

"I'll never send you away. I'll never let you go."

"We're having a baby," his voice cracked and you knew he was breaking, breaking at the thought of not being able to hold you during your labour or go to the bakeries to pick up your favourite sweet treats, of not being able to sing your babe into rest with his melodic voice, "I'm going to be a dad," you nodded, on the edge of breaking with him, he lowered himself to your barely there swell and ran his fingers over the surface, "You be good for her. She's the best thing that the Mother ever made. I'll meet you one day, when the time is right," then he moved back up to you, sketching your face to memory like he always did.

"On the other side of the stars?"

"On the other side of the stars," you confirmed, pressing you lips to his and letting him hold you in his ghostly embrace, allowing your two hundred years worth of love to consume you, "You'll be waiting there for me?"

Azriel ran his fingers down the slope of your neck and shoulder and pressed his lips into your hairline, "Oh my little dreamer, I'll wait a million years for my soul to dance with yours in the stars, and that day will be the best day of my existence."

Authors Note

I cried all the way through this, I broke myself oh my godddd

409 notes · View notes

gamarancianne · 5 months

Text

Azriel x reader - In Between part 2

Part 1

Summary: trying to regain your confidence after your broken heart, you met someone in the same position as you and developped one of the best friendships you had ever had. A genuine and sincere friendship. But this person may be closer by other ways to you than you thought.

Warnings: still angst, alcohol in a not healthy way, heartbreak again, hypocrite Elain (kinda slander ig), Lucien being the best.

Note: well maybe a part 3 ig 😅, I was really inspired tbh. Thank you all for having loved the part 1 and shared it with me ! Ily 💗💗 and don't hesitate to ask me something or chat with me in my inbox or dm, or in the comments !

You had been a crying mess for two weeks now, sometimes you went out in a bar to drink so much you would forget even your name. That was the point, forget the constant sting in your heart and you head. Forget him, his beautiful Hazel eyes and inked tattoos on his broad and golden chest. And here we go again: the tears flooded themselves on your face. It was a day to drink today, or tonight, you didn't really have a time notion for the past two weeks: waking up at dawn or dusk, eating, crying and sleeping. You had to forget about all those beautiful things about him, you had to empty your brain and heart. You didn't want to feel something again.

As you were walking to the nearest bar, you thought about those letters elain had sent you, saying you were her dearest friend and asking if your confession went well. You knew she knew that it was you in her apartment that cursed day, but she still pretended and even was saying the complete opposite of what she had said to azriel, falsely comforting you. Was she ever was your friend at this point ? Or has she always criticised and stabbed you behind you back ? Anyway you had decided that it was way better for you to ignore her and keep living your life, if you could still call what you were living a life, without her.

You didn't even noticed when you had arrived in front the door of the bar, but you did and entered, going directly to your now favorite spit in front of the barman : the alcohol was there easier to get. You didn't see then, the redhead man who was at the exact place you had been the few days prior. How dare he steal your chair like that ? Approaching slowly you stilled and you understood that this man was surely in the same situation as you, a heartbreak, seeing his bent frame and the many empty glasses in front of him. They could only have been his because no one was seated near him, and everyone was judging him. They were all avoiding the poor man whose name you didn't know.

"I was almost mad at you for stealing my favourite seat" you stated, seating next to him as his head shot to your side wondering if you were really talking to him.

"Yes I'm talking to you"

"Ah, I'm sorry for your seat do you want it back ?" He asked, genuinely embarrassed, his cheeks flushed.

"No I'm fine here, I can speak with you ...?" You asked ?

"Lucien".

"I'm yn, and as I was saying, I can speak with you here Lucien" he nodded.

"Nice to meet you yn, but you don't wanna talk to me, don't you see all the glares everyone sends me here ?" He drank in a one shot what seemed to be whisky and stared again at his now empty glass.

"Oh gods you men !" He looked at you confused "I know what I'm doing fuck ! I'm a grown up woman and I can make my own choices ! You re the second on in two weeks who tells me what I want or not." You snapped.

"Oh I'm sorry, then stay if you want." He apologized quickly.

You asked shots to the barman and stayed silent a bit nefore you both asked in one voice "what are you here for ?". You two chuckled a bit before you said "you first".

"Well I've kinda learnt that my mate, who knows that she is my mate is dating someone else. And I feel like I'm not allowed to have just once an ounce of happiness." You were hurt for him as you heard his story that he told you with a careless demeanor. He must really be at his lowest.

"Ouch that hurts, I'm sorry man. She's a fool if you want my opinion." He smiled sadly at your answer and pointed you from his chin asking you silently your story.

"Well im heartbroken as well, my best friend encouraged me confessing to the man I love, but he rejected me, and not in a nice way. But as lucky as I am, I learnt that he is dating my best friend who is a back stabber." I emptied my glass in one drink.

"Ouch that hurts too, I'm sorry." He said echoing my words.

We spent the night drinking, and drowning ourselves in alcohol but in a more joyful way than usually.

I then went more and more at the bar to see him, but we drank less and less, leaving place to real conversations between us. It became quickly a routine, and Lucien became one of my best friends, well my only friend of the time actually. And I was one of his only friend as well. Two broken hearts healing parts of eachothzr then didn't even break. Lucien had explained to me his family problem, and how his former male best friend was a toxic man in relationships, how he had been poorly treated in his biological family, and how his actual best friend was his mate's sister so he didn't know how to approach her anymore. He came a lot in my appartment to spend time with me, he even slept in sometimes, because he couldn't face his current family. He practically had his room in your home, some of his stuff never really left.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

After 2 knocks on your door you unwillingly got off your couch and opened it letting a wild and out of breath Lucien appear in front of it.

"Lu ? Are you okay ?" That was his new nickname, he loved it, because he felt like he was loved for once in his life.

"Yes.. no ? I need you to come with me like right now ! "

"Oh okay let me get me keys and I'm coming" you trusted Lucien too much to ever doubt about him, if he needed you then you were there for him.

You left your apartment and went to the direction he indicated. After a while you panicked a little, seeing that you were going to the high lord's house.

"Lucien you know I love you but where are we going?"

"To a family dinner, I can't go alone. See, my mate's relationship got complicated and she always complains to me when I'm alone, which is all the time. So I feel like I'm just a plan b and I'm really uncomfortable when she does it. Don't worry I've told them that someone was going with me."

"I understand Lu, but at the high lord's ?" You asked sceptical.

"Well yes, because my best friend I told you about is Feyre."

"What ?" Lucien, had never told the names of his family members, and you neither, so discovering that his friend was you high lady so that you were going to see Azriel made you weak to the bones.

"Lucien ? Your mate is Elain ??"

"What, yes ? How do you know ??" He exclaimed as he stopped on his tracks.

"She is the fake friend I told you about !" You answered on the same tone.

"So it means that.."

"I am in love with Azriel... yes."

"Oh gods" you both sighed.

"Hum yn ?" He asked unsure of what to say.

"Mmh"

"Have I told you that Cassian and him were the ones to get us to the house?"

"No, no, no. Please no ! But what would we even need to be picked up ?"

"We can't winnow so it's either that or climb 10 000 stairs".

Both fearing the fast approaching dinner, the last part of the walk was silent and the air heavy with tension. You held your breath when you saw two winged big figures, Cassian and Azriel. The first one shot his head in your direction and smiled confused.

"Yn ?" Azriel stiffened as he heard your name. "What does owe us the pleasure to see you ?"

"I'm the one to go with Lu today but I didn't know it was with you...". Azriel froze completely still turning his back to you. He wasn't sure it was you but now it was certain and he couldn't face you after the mean things he had said to your face. He hadn't talked about it to anyone except Elain and he kinda regretted it now. Things had got complicated between them because after your love confession she had grown so much jealous! He couldn't bear it anymore, he was a free man, he hadn't wings for nothing! They would argue a lot more and he hated that because it triggered bad memories in him. Plus he felt a bit bad about you. You hadn't done anything to him to deserve to be treated that way, he was ashamed of his actions because he knew that, as insecure as you seemed to be, you might have been spiralling since. That wasn't him, that wasn't how he was supposed to be. When he got Elain, she changed him a lot, and he wasn't sure anymore that it was for the good. She crushed all of his efforts to keep the bad parts of him inside. He was meaner, colder, he wasn't himself. Rhys have scolded him a little about that and he had really reacted in a bad way. An evidence of what Rhys had advanced. Azriel was sure he had made you feel bad, and he didn't want it : you were a nice and smart female, a little clumsy but still beautiful and lovely. As he finally turned to you, all of his regret splashed on him when crossing your look and seeing you pained eyes. You quickly put your head down and he felt even more bad to have made lose enough confidence for you to fear to hold his gaze. Thinking about it, he didn't understand you insecurity of the beginning, before the altercation. How could you, a very beautiful female, ever doubt about yourself ?

Realisation hit him, that he would have to take you flying because it would be awkward if he took Lucien, his girlfriend's mate. He knew she was complaining to him, and he felt even sorry for the poor Lucien. But a question lingered in his mind: how did you two know eachother ? And why the fuck would Lucien bring you to a family dinner ? Were you dating ? Fear crossed his eyes for a second before regaining his composure. You couldn't be dating Lucien, it was impossible, you had just said two weeks ago that you loved him. Could you have moved that fast ? It frightened him, knowing that he had grown to like you when thinking of your shared moments at training, where you two had laughed, sometimes until crying joy tears, and regretting the mean rejection he had given you in return of something so intimate and innocent as your love and devotion for him. Damn him he had even insulted you ! He cursed himself more and more until he got out of his head when Cassian called him.

"Azriel wake up ! You take yn." He said when shooting in the sky Lucien in his arms.

You both stayed in an awkward bubble, without moving an inch, avoiding the gaze of one another, for 30 long seconds that felt like hours.

"I'm sorry" and "so how are you doing" came at the same time from him side you. You awkwardly chuckled but he stayed still so you stopped finally having the guts to look at him in the eye for more than a millisecond.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, louder this time. You froze. You didn't want that to happen. You didn't want him to face you abut what happened. It would made it real, and you still hadn't enough courage for that.

"What for ?" You asked, your voice breaking.

"You what for".

You hesitated a lot before responding. "No actually I don't. Was it for mean rejecting me without an ounce of regret or nicenessin your words ? Or maybe the fact that you destroyed my confidence? Oh no ! I know, it was for the time you mocked me in front of my friend, who is in fact your girlfriend, and a fake friend!"

"You weren't supposed to be there that time." He said, suddenly finding the floor really interesting.

"Maybe but I was, so it's the same result and the same mean words that came out of your mouth."

He knew you were right. You were completely allowed to be mad at him for the way he treated you. But it was still hard. Azriel had never been in proper relationships nor had he ever been confessed to. It wasn't a proper excuse but it still made it hard to accommodate to those things for a boy deprived of love for all his life. He didn't know how to react, so to him, the better solution was to stay silent. You sighed, disappointed and he came awkwardly closer to you to hold you and shoot in the sky, following Cassian and Lucien, long arrived and waiting for you worried (especially Lucien).

Elain was waiting for Azriel, or Lucien, no one knew, on the balcony of the House of Wind and almost fell when she saw you. You in Azriel's arms, accompanying Lucien. Azriel struggled to let you go, especially after your conversation, but the second you were out of his hold, Elain held you in a crushing hug. You rapidly got out as well, feeling uncomfortable after her hypocrisy. You gave her a sad smile and Lucien introduced you to Feyre and Rhysand who had already told you to call them by their name, and to Mor and Amren. They all welcomed you warmly except Elain and Azriel of course who both looked like ashamed puppies with their tails between their legs.

After dinner, everyone went out in the garden for a tea and you found yourself on a couch behind Lucien sat on the floor. Automatically, because it was something you were now used to do, your hands found his head and started playing with his hair. Everyone had their eyes on you, confused on your proximity but you didn't notice and kept going on braiding his hair.

"I'll do yours later I promise" Lucien said, looking at you from above.

"I hope so !". Leaving everyone even more confused now.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When you were ready to left with Lucien, Elain caught you and asked you to have a word with her.

Lucien gave you a worried look and you nodded making him understand you were okay for now.

She led you to a private room and paced in it awkwardly. She opened her mouth twice and closed it almost instantly like she wanted to say something but didn't know where to start.

"So, you ans Azriel ? Huh"

"You have actually no right to be mad at me." She cut you off.

"Excuse me ? But I have every right to be mad at you right now ! You have treated me poorly faking to be my friend and laughing at me when you should have been comforting me !" You snapped, angry.

"Well, it's not like someone could ever treat you well."

"What, what do you mean ?"

"Look at you yn, nobody would ever really be with you. You're not ugly but you're not beautifu, you're not dumb but you're not smart, you're just.. Well you. And that's clearly not enough." She looked at you disgustingly.

"But Lucien is treating me well.." You said tears welling in your eyes.

"Don't be blind, yn, he's a man, and like Azriel he will ran to me when he'll see that you're no longer interesting. You were nice and all, you listened to me but I guess I just got bored of you, anyone would." And with that she left the room, leaving 8 pairs of eyes on you as she opened the door. They instantly approached you, Feyre apologising a thousand time for the mean behaviour of her sister and Azriel staying in the back, his eyes full of worry and apology. He was trying to make you feel like everything she had said was false, that you were so much more than that, worthy of the stars,of two shining stars. Because yes they had heard everything. Lucien made his way to the crowd of his family surrounding you and hesitated before he hugged you out of nowhere. Azriel clenched his jaw and his hands turned into fists. When Lucien released you of his grasp, your expression hadn't changed, its like you were empty, just one single tears had escaped your eye. Cassian and Azriel flew you to the ground of Velaris and the last one had kept his hand on yours to make you look at him.

"I'm sorry, for what she said. It's not one bit true."

"Don't worry, she's surely right..." You had answered your gaze falling on his hand. You had never noticed the scars an them, they were so beautiful, so textured, so unique. You eyes widened at the sight and Azriel quickly hid them behind back before keeping going.

"No she wasn't, please don't doubt yourself because of what came out of her mouth because of jealousy. Because that's what she was and still is, jealous."

"Thank you Az really." You sadly smiled at him before joining Lucien who was waiting for you.

He didn't know why, but something clicked in him seeing you walk away under the arm of Lucien and hearing again his nickname from your mouth. He thought it rolled well on your tongue and really wanted to hear it again, as soon as possible. And it tensed him a lot to know that this man who touched you, was probably sleeping at yours tonight, maybe in your bed to comfort you after this emotionally hard day. It puzzled him a lot and didn't even know why, until his shadows came to his ears and murmured repeatedly "want to be him".

Tag list:

@kalulakunundrum

#acotar #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel x yn #elain archeron #lucien x reader #inner circle #morrigan #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #rhysand #cassian #amren #acotar x you #acotar x reader #acotar x y/n #writing #writers on tumblr

369 notes · View notes

julsvu · 2 months

Note

hello! i saw you take request about pjo and honestly, i loved your fics about leo! i was gonna ask if you could do general dating or crush headcanons about percy, similar to your one leo fic (i dont remember which one but i think you get it???)

thank u thank u thank u if you do it!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

gn! reader

💬: hii!! im so glad you loved my leo fics :D thank u sm for requesting! this is my first time writing for percy :')

📒: fluff, friends to lovers, reader is implied to be a demigod, not proofread (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠)

percy crushing on you hcs

everyone in the camp knew this boy was whipped for you

especially his friends

HE IS DOWN BAD

grover literally knows EVERY detail of you even if you guys aren't close because of percy

he knows that you have a small mole on the left side of your face, how your nose slightly scrunches up whenever you focus on something, your favorite food/the food you always eat for breakfast, the little bracelet you wear everyday because of percy

percy sometimes talks to blackjack for advice?? or just rambles to the pegasus about you (he'd look crazy without context)

the Aphrodite cabin ships you two SO MUCH

sometimes they'd set you and percy up

but to percy's disappointment, you just brush it off because you always interpreted their ways as a way to make fun of you both

spaces out whenever he looks at you

his friends have to physically shake him out of it for at least 9 seconds before he gets back to his senses

whenever that happens though, they have to sike him up to actually talk to you

if a person pulls a dirty trick on you especially during training, percy's eyes would be burning holes through them

he doesn't hide his glare at all too 😭

his friends try and give you hints that percy has a crush on u, but they're REALLY subtle and careful about it

except for leo 💀

"y'know, percy has the hots for you," he randomly says in the middle of your guys' conversation??? like u guys could be talking about how the sky's so blue and then boom he says that

anyway

they'd definitely form a game plan to get you guys together for real (annabeth would be the mastermind)

they'd probably set you guys up to a blind date in this pizza place nearby

during the date, percy made up his mind instantly after you laughed at his ridiculous joke

he wanted to date you, not just have a crush on you. he wanted to love you, in a real way, not just from afar

and so he confessed

he was resisting the urge to kick his feet and giggle when you accepted his confession /j

his friends were probably disguised as "normal" customers, sitting in the booth across from you guys, or beside you guys, silently cheering for you both once they overheard that you accepted percy's confession

percy dating hcs

loads of aquarium dates!!

he'd gossip with you, a lot

hear me out!! minecraft dates!!

he'd put your beds together and stuff, and you guys have a pet axolotl whose name is a mix of yours and percy's (basically your shipname)

is BIG on pda, he likes to show you off, even the nymphs know you're dating atp

but he'd tone it down if you want him to, of course

whenever there's a new trend that comes up on any socmed app, he's so quick to invite you to do it

he definitely made a kisses hoodie for you soskpsf

you'd have triple dates with leo and calypso, and frank and hazel 💯💯💯

he's so observant it's scary

he's the first one to notice whenever you aren't feeling good

always checks up on you

sally also hears about you all the time !! whenever percy comes home from camp he likes to tell stories about what you and him have done

she already sees you as an in-law (even if you guys haven't met properly yet)

some of percy's pfps on his main social medias would be him posing with kiss marks all over his face from you

if you ever post yourself on social media, he hypes you up so much in the comments

expect at least a millisecond after posting, you'd have 28 comments from him immediately 😭

"THATS SMY PARTNER RIGHT THERE"

"I LOVE YOUU77I"

"everyone back off they're taken BY ME"

whenever someone compliments you infront of him he's like "i know, right? my partner's so amazing"

he emphasizes the word "partner" whenever he notices that the person might be interested in you, too

he can't help being a little protective

percy jackson, if you can hear us, please percy jackson, please save us percy jackson, please save us percy jackson

#percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x you #percy jackson x y/n #hoo x reader #pjo x reader #heroes of olympus x reader

172 notes · View notes

my-only-way-tocooperatewithlife · 1 year

Text

How your life can change with a call - Charles Leclerc

Hello, hello.

So here we are, a new post, with a new story. This idea just popped up in my head and I could not just write it Hope you will like it.

Out and over

Kiki

DadCharles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: You have met two times before, but never ended well. The third time you have met was because something changed in both of your life, and this how two turned into three. You need to learn, adjust and love.

Warnings: death, anxiety, swears, alcohol usage, smut, pregnancy, mention of infertility

Masterlist

-- Monaco --

“Emily, do you really think this is a good idea? A blind date with your fiancé’s friend.. You know how much I hate blind dates..” you walked out of the bathroom trying to put the earrings in. “Come on, he is a really nice guy.” She sat up on the bed as she was caressing her big bump. She was in the 8th month of her pregnancy, she had reached the point when everything was uncomfortable, sitting, laying down, it did not matter anymore.She smiled and handed over the handbag before grabbing the keys from the little bowl next to the door and handed over that one also. “Have fun! Call me tomorrow!” She kissed left side of your cheek before opening the door and pushing your out.

“You really want to get rid of me.” You turned back at the doorstep.

“No, I just need someone next to my daughter’s Godmother.” She winked at you.

You arrived at the small restaurant a few minutes earlier than it was agreed on. Checking the time at your watch on your arm as you were looking around watching the people walking, cars passing by. Fifteen minutes went by, when you took your phone out and started to write a text to your friend, asking about how long you should wait for him to arrive, when a taxi stopped in front of you and the door opened. You looked up from the phone hoping that your date had arrived but a young woman got out of the car, smiling at you friendly before handing over the cash to the driver and closed the door. You smiled back and let out a disappointed sigh and looked back on your phone. Maybe he is sitting inside, waiting for you. You walked into the small restaurant but you had no idea about whose name the table was booked. But the waitress was nice and showed you a small table, after you asked her if she knew there was someone who was waiting for a date, she just shook her head with an apologetic smile and handed over the menu, while showing you the offers for wines. Frustration was bubbling up in your body, as you were sipping on the red wine as you were looking around in the restaurant. Couples were having their romantic dinner, chatting away. Maybe he got into a traffic jam.. Or maybe he forgot about what time you will meet… Or he just never wanted to come….

You were just finished with your glass as the fifteen minutes actually turned into thirty minutes. You tried to catch the attention of the waitress to ask for the bill and leave, when she turned to your way with a smile and started to walk to your table. You picked the small handbag into your lap and dug up your wallet to pay when you saw someone walking behind her.

“Here she is.” She put down another menu “I’ll be back in a few to take your orders.” She smiled and left the table. I looked up from my glass checking out the new person who was trying to take the seat on the opposite side.

“I’m so sorry!” He started “ I got caught up in a meeting.” He was panting as he was trying to take his jacket off. “I’m Charles.” He extended his hand over the table and smiled at me. His piercing greenish, hazel eyes looked deep into yours. His handsome features could really charm you instantly but you did remember him, he was at the wedding of your friends. And he was flirting with you through the reception but ditched you right away when a young brown haired girl appeared.

You looked puzzled at him waiting for him to realize that you had met him before, even shared some stories together, but he had no idea about it.

“Y/N, nice to meet you!” You extended your hand out and let a small smile on your lips appear. Just as the drinks arrived and you were having a quite boring but polite conversation, the whole atmosphere was just awkward at your table, you were feeling awkward because you did know the guys sitting across the table, while he had no idea who you were.

“Hey Charles, thank you for the afternoon. And the ride to here. We should do it again but in my place.” A long brown haired woman stopped at our table and winked at him and squeezed his shoulder before looking at you for a second and pulled her lips into an ironic smile and walked away from the table, swaying her hips obnoxiously. You turned your gaze back to him, seeing that he was still lingering his eyes on the woman’s lower back, while he was nibbling on the edge of the glass. You coughed awkwardly making him tear his eyes off her and turned back to you.

“I mean you did not specify what type of meeting you were caught up with. But now that purple mark on your neck and the slight red lips really gave it away.” You smiled at him ironically and looked back at your plate.

“Y/N, I ‘m sorry, I totally forgot about the date and she was over and…My life is pretty messed up now. I just got out of a relationship…” He started to explain everything but you just looked at him and picked the bag up from the back of the chair.

“Look. I did not want you to feel that this was an obligatory meeting… Especially that our friends arranged the whole thing, and I mean, you should have just sent Emily a text. Now I just feel humiliated, and I’m really not up for this. If you were not ready for a date, if you just wanted something casual you should have said it. And to be honest, I don’t have the energy and the time just to “waste” it that way.” You grabbed your coat too, before getting up from the chair and putting 50 euros down on the table. “I think it should cover it and maybe yours too.” Said before turning around and walked out of the restaurant.

“What a terrible night and what an asshole” you thought. And you did not know how wrong you were…

-- 3 years later --

“Hello, I’m Tomasso Rossi from the central hospital, is it Y/N L/N? “A deep male voice woke you up from your sleep in the middle of the night.

“Uhm yes, it’s me. How can I help you?” You mumbled back still half asleep and confused and why would a hospital call you at this time. You sat up in the bed, rubbing your eyes.

“You were given as an emergency contact for Emily Bernard. Can you please come to the hospital as soon as possible?”

“What happened to her? Is Sophia okay?” You jumped up from the bed, started to search for the pieces of clothes in the dark room, picking up a leggings and hoodie before running to the door.

“I can’t tell you anything more than this over the phone. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll be there in 10.” You ended the call as you ripped the front door open and ran down the hallway to get to your car as fast as you could. While you chanted to yourself that you hope your goddaughter is okay and your friends too.

“Y/N Can you please come with me?” A tall figure appeared next to you as you were looking through the small window watching the peacefully sleeping Sophia in the hospital room. You still could not believe the whole thing. This night felt like a nightmare, in which you just can’t wake up from. You swiped off the tears from your cheeks and turned to the man on your right before nodding and following him down on the corridor. “Please take a seat in here.” He opened a door of an office where was a big oak table with four chairs, from which one was already occupied. The man lifted his head up from his hands when he heard the door open and as soon as you stepped in, you froze down. It was Charles. The man who have had that awful date with a few years ago. His glossy eyes went up from your shoes all the way to your eyes. His handsome features were covered with tears. He leaned back in the chair and swiped the fallen tear away. “Please take a seat.” The lawyer ‘s deep voice cut through the silence in the room which made you jump a little bit. You slowly took a seat next to Charles.” So you may have known that both of you were the Godparents of Sophia. And as well as that tragic accident of her parents, she was left behind without any caretakers. Emily and Éliott made a will where they have selected the both of you as caretakers. I know that you both need time to wrap your heads around this situation, but we need to decide it within the next 48 hours, or I have to give the hospital permission to start the paperworks with the child support, to start searching for a place for Sophia in an orphanage.” He looked up from the papers and pushed his glasses up on his nose. The two of you were sitting in silence looking at in front of yours. Questions were flying around in your head. Caretakers? Orphanage? The lawyer was waiting for you patiently on the other side of the table, playing with his fingers as you were just zoning out completly.

“I’m in.” Charles broke the suffocating silence, his voice was weak and raspy due to staying silent for that long mixed with the crying. You looked at him, his eyes were on you waiting for you to answer. “I can take care of her even if you are not in this.”

“I’m in too. I’m just still trying to believe that I’m not dreaming.” You raked through your hair with your hands, and slid closer to the table. “Do we have to sign somewhere?”

“Yes, I have printed out the papers for it.” He took another pile of paper in front of him and slided over the table. Give one pile of each of you. “I’ll let you read it through, until I will go to the head of the child protection department. “ He got up from the desk and walked out of the door, leaving you in silence again. Charles got up from his seat and started to walk around in the small office.

“Can you please stop walking around? You make me dizzy.” You leaned back in the chair taking your eyes of him, and close them. Pushing the heel of you palms into your eyes.

“Don’t need to stare at me. You can just leave the room. “ He snapped back at you stopping for a second before starting to walk again. “How the hell could this happen? What will I do with a three years old.. I have races most of the weekend..”

“What will you do? Do you think that I’m gonna leave my best friend’s baby, my goddaughter with you?” You sat up in the chair putting down the pile of paper on the desk.

“Y/N, both of us know that I can give that child better support.. And don’t take it as an offense.” He stopped for a second looking at you.

“What are you talking about?” You raised your eyebrows and waiting for his reponse, expressing what he was meaning by that.

“I know that you have some struggles with money and accommodation…Éliott told me a few weeks ago, when you and Emily met.”

“ You know nothing.” You shook your head left to right, and pulled on the sleeve of your hoodie down on your hands. Your anixiety were up on the roof already but with this conversation with Charles just made it worse. You were really forcing yourself no to just get up and walk out of the room.

“You live in a one room apartment in the worst part of the city.. “ Tilting his head to the side with an unamused expression on his face.

“You know not all of us have millions of dollars in their account to buy the fanciest penthouses in every city they have been before.” You stood up from your seat and took a few steps closer to him. Looking straight into his eyes. After your last time you saw each other did not ended well, you still have had some thorn in you, but with that statement he was really pissing you off. You haven't slept for 48 hours now at least, your best friend just passed away in a car accident and this rich, arrogant man is just judging you since you have stepped into the room. You were really having none of it. “Yes, indeed I live in not the best part of the city, I do rent a place, but if you have talked with Éliotte and Emily you know that very well, that I just lost everything. I lost my job and my fiancé, which made me give up the luxurious life and move away as soon as possible to a place with literally no money. And you are judging me because it just makes you a bigger jerk than I have already been thinking about you. And don’t you dare to think that I will give up on the last little thing that I have left from my childhood best friend, who was basically my sister. “You were standing close to him, pushing your finger into his chest. The lump in your throat got much bigger than before, tears were filling up your eyes, making your vision blurry. “Sophia is all I have left of her, Charles.” Your voice was weak as a sob was bubbling up in your throat, before you know Charles pulled you in a hug which made you broke down. “I want to wake up, this is a nightmare. They were at my place a few hours ago, we just had dinner, planning the summer vacations together. I want to wake up and see them again. I want Emily to call me saying that all this was a dream and she is still here. “ You said between the sobs as you were clenching on Charles’s shirt, soaking it through with your salty tears. He was rocking your bodies left to right, trying to calm you down as he was crying too.

“I know, I want to wake up too. But this is not a dream, sadly. And we need to figure this one out, we can’t let them take Sophie away. “ He pushed your body away from his, you lifted your head up looking at his tear soaked face. “ We have to set some rules,but we need to do this together. She needs some stability in her life, and this can only be us.”

“It won’t be easy, but we need to do this” You stepped away grabbing the pen and extending it to him, as you had the other in your hand ready to sign the paper. You looked up at him and asked. “Are you ready to co-parenting this little angel with me?”

------------------------------------------------

Month have passed since you have signed the papers and took home Sophie. It was still a learning process to have a toddler with you, to maneuver in the new parenting life, to bring the three different lifestyles together. It was hard, and you knew it well that first it wouldn't be easy. Take Sophie to the daycare, go to work, schedule your time with Charles. The whole living situation did not make it easier too, going back and forth to your place and between Charles’s. You still have had to adjust that you have been sleeping at Charles’s place with Sophie in the bed,because her room still needed to be adjusted. The only thing that made it much easier for you was that Charles’s mother Pascale helped you, she was the biggest help in your life, even though she was living hours away in Monaco while you were still living in Italy.

“Good morning” Charles appeared in the kitchen unexpectedly and made you jump as you were trying to find the button on the fancy coffee machine that would start to make your coffee, but you have already looked on the top, on the front, the sides even the back to find a button that will just make he machine work.

“Hello” You mumbled back and turned back to the machine.

“Someone is grumpy.” He picked up a water bottle out of the fridge and leaned back to the counter watching you with a grin, as you were having some troubles.

“Someone was snoring so heavily that I thought I’m in a construction site, which made Sophie wake up many times or just turn a lot in the bed, somehow ending her little hand in my mouth, or her little feet in my kidney. She sleeps just like her mother did, crosswise on the bed! “You were gesticulate violently, as you were telling him about your night. You have agreed that she sleeps with you until you have a bed for her and she will get used to the whole thing. “Oh and I try to make a coffee for myself but you have a fancy machine that needs to have an engineering diploma to use.” You turned defeatedly around throwing your hands up.

“I do not snore that loud. And maybe use the screen on the top of the machine. Let me help.” He stepped behind you and pushed the screen before, so the machine started to buzz, filling up the mug with the black liquid. Stupid fancy machines and their hidden buttons.“ Bonjour ma petite chou!” He smiled and picked up Sophie, who was standing in the corner of the kitchen rubbing her eyes tiredly. “Comment as tu dormis? Il y a une sorcière qui a dit que tu ne la laisser pas dormir. (How did you sleep? There is a witch who said you did not let her sleep.)” He looked back at you with a cheeky smile.

“Je parle français aussi, crétin. (I also speak french, you cretin.)” You rolled your eyes as you filled another cup with coffee too, and put it on the kitchen island. He just laughed as he grabbed the mug and lifted up to his lips, but stopped before took a swig of it. “I won’t poison you. It’s just coffee..” You walked out of the kitchen to the dining table and pulled the chair out for you, and extended your arm out. “Now give me Sophie, she needs to have breakfast. I have made some for you too, if you are hungry, it’s on the stove.” You pointed with your head to the way of the kitchen.

“Oh thanks.. That’s…Nice of you.” He looked at you surprised while letting you take Sophie and scratched the back of his neck.

“No worries. But don’t get used to it.” You looked up for a second before feeding the little girl in your lap with her breakfast. “I have ordered a chair and a bed for her at night, they will arrive here maybe in the afternoon or tomorrow.” You said casually as you took a bite from your toast and flipped through the pages of the magazine you have found on the table. It was a Sportsweek magazine with some pictures of him on the cover. You flipped through the pages, and stopped for a minute to the pages where his photos were. You could not lie to yourself that he was handsome on those, especially the ones that were black and white, somehow they even captured his features the best way. He was a beautiful man, and no matter how you tried to think that he is the last person that you want to feel attracted to, he was extremely handsome.

“You like what you see?” He slides on the other side of the table with a stupid grin on his face.

“Oh don’t be full of yourself. “ You rolled your eyes. “ But I have to say that those black and white ones really give you an advantage. “ You closed the magazine and slid to the other side of the table, before grabbing a napkin and swiped off the crumbles of Sophie’s cheek. He was taken back by your words, since you have met again and started this new living situation you were cold with him. Not rude or anything, just not as friendly as you can be with his mother and siblings. He understood it, he messed it up for real. That day when he was set up for that date, he had no idea who she was. She seemed really familiar for him, he just could not put a finger on it, but later he found some pictures from the wedding of your friend’s and that’s when he saw those outstanding green eyes, and he knew that he did not mess it up once, but twice. She behaved measuredly with him, sometimes let a smile appear on her beautiful features when he made a joke or a funny comment but it always quickly faded away, just only stayed there when Sophie was the main source of her happiness. He couldn’t help but always felt happiness and warmth spreading through his body when he saw them together, both of them were actually glowing from the happiness, their laughter always filled up his place, all he wanted after a busy day just to finally arrive home and see them.

“So Maman just called yesterday when you were doing some shopping, that she was planning to have dinner at hers.” He sat down at the table picking out his phone. “Do you think we can manage to stay there for the weekend? I thought we should leave this afternoon. ”

You picked up Sophie from his feeding chair and let her go playing in the living room with some blocks.

“Yes sure, but we need to stop at mine. I have to pick up some clothes.” You gathered all the empty cups and plates from the table and walked to the kitchen to put it in the dishwasher.

“Okay, I’ll go and pick up the SUV and we can stop there on the way to mum’s, how does it sounds for you?”

“Deal!” You looked up from the machine and smiled at him which he answered with a nod and a smile too.

“Okay, we can pick up my stuff but you can’t say anything about my flat!” You turned in your seat to face him, as you were just before to turn on the main street of your flat. He nodded as his eyes were on the road ahead, and indicated before turning. He quietly parked the car and you picked up Sophie from the back of the car and had her sitting on your hips and let her snuggle to your side nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck. Charles remained silent as you walked up to the flat. “That looks like reliable security..” he mumbled when you were opening the door, which only had one lock and the keys were hardly turning in it. You looked back at him with an unamused look. “ It was just a statement.” He lifted his arms up in defense and took the toddler out of your arms and hugged it close to his body.

“Stay in here I’ll be back in a few.” You pushed the door open and walked in the flat, closing it before he could step in. You closed your eyes before letting out a sigh. You pushed yourself away from the door and walked all the way to your small bedroom, to grab some nicer clothes for the dinner so you are not gonna be in your sweats. You opened the door and flicked the lights on.

“I thought you would never come home.”

“Jesus christ!” You jumped back as the voice cut through the silence. Your eyes snapped to the way of the voice seeing your ex-fiancé sitting on the bed waiting for you. “What the hell? What are you doing here?”

“I was calling you for the whole week, and you were not answering. So I thought to check on you.”

“I have had no intention talking to you, and I have had no time either, and I don’t have it now. I want you to leave.”

“And I want you to come back.”

“May I know why? I think you were the one who kicked me out of the flat, if I’m correct. After you fucked you little secretary in your office, while I was next door having the most important meeting of the company.” You folded your arm in front of you. “You can say whatever you want, but I’m not going back to you.”

“And what will you do? Live here? In this dumpster? While you can have marble flooring and the most luxurious furniture and the fanciest life? You choose this over me?” He jumped up from the bed, trying to take the bag out of your hand while you were stuffing your clothes in. You pulled the bag out of his hands.

“Get out now!” You pointed at the front door looking into his eyes.

“Y/N, you can’t just give up all we have had. Because of one tiny stumbling. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“One tiny stumbling?” Your voice jumped a few octaves as you stuffed the last piece of clothing in your bag. “Mark, you have fucked your own employee. Hell you have been having affairs behind my back for multiple occasions as I found out. And everyone knew about it. All the time when you have said you went on a business trip abroad, you did not even leave the country, hence not even the city!” You were yelling as you were walking out of the room, heading to the front door.

“Y/N is everything okay? Why are you shouting?” Charles opened the front door, making both of you snapping your heads his way.

“What is he doing in here?” both men said at the same time looking at each other and back at you. Your hands ran through your hair trying to calm your mind down.

“Trying to teach me a lesson or something that you are with him, or what?” Mark stepped closer as he was still looking between the two of you.

“Didn’t you say that you are not together anymore?” Charles asked while he did not take his eyes off him.

“You choose him over me?!” Mark grabbed your upper arm making you snap your head the way of him.

“Let go of her dude!” Charles stepped closer as you were still having a staring contest with your ex fiancé.

“It’s none of your business Max. “You gritted through your teeth “Let the fuck go of me and get the fuck out! Never want to see you ever again!” You jerked your hand out from his grip and pushed on his right arm making him stumble over his own foot all the way to the door. He looked back at you before disappearing.

“Are you okay?” Charles’s voice broke the silence of the apartment making you waking up from your trans shaking your head.

“Yea, let’s go. Need to get ready before that dinner.” You picked up your bag from the floor before heading out the apartment. “Need to call the landlord to change the locks.” You mumbled as you tried to lock the front door

“Or you can give up this and move into my apartment in Monaco. You know how big it is, so if you don’t want to see me then you just simply don’t come to my side. It would be much easier for Sophie too, mom can help because she is much closer to us, especially now that the season will start soon. And your crazy ex won't find you, and last thing I want for you to meet him, when I can't be on your side. Something is not right with this guy and I'm not feeling comfortable leaving you alone with Sophie if he is close to you and us. Don’t need to decide now, just think about it, okay?” He took the bag away from you and lifted Sophie on his arm a bit before he smiled at you. And even you got yourself to have a small smile at him as he was walking down on the hallway to his car.

--------------------

“So how are you? How are you working things out with two kids?” Pascale sat down next to you on the couch looking at the three boys playing with the little girl in the living room. As she passed a glass into your hand filled up with red wine. You were quietly sipping on your wine before answering.

“You would think a two year old would be more challenging than a 25, no you are wrong.” We both laughed and clinked the glasses. " You are incredible that you raised three boys."

“If you need help just call me anytime okay? I know it’s not easy with a child especially if you just turned out to be a parent out of nowhere. It can be different if the whole starting a family thing is planned and you go through the pregnancy, you have time to prepare yourself, in your case it was not like that. So if you feel like you are overwhelmed just give me a call. Might take a little to arrive in Italy but still.”

“Charles actually wants to move back to Monaco.” You interrupted her monologue.”Wanna move back to his old place. Saying it’s better for him, for Sophie too, due to the fact she was raised here. And he also pointed out that you would be closer to helping me. So I guess after next week, you don’t need to travel all the way to Italy.” You watched her expression changing, she was paying attention intensely first and then her eyes just went wide and her smile widened. Took out the wineglass from your hand, and put it on the small coffee table in front of you before pulling you into a bone crushing hug. She was the most welcoming woman you have met in your life, always smiling, spreading happiness all over the place.

“Charles really loves her” She said once you were apart, watching the boys and the little girl together.

“She really loves him too. But I’m afraid she is getting confused. Like she knows that it’s not her dad, but her little brain just wants to tell her to say dad. But she just can’t make it herself.”

“Would you let her call you mom and dad?” She turned at you , studying your face.

“To be honest, I don’t know. I don’t want her to feel left out that she can’t call a person mom and dad, but I don’t want her to forget about her real parents. That won’t be fair with Emily. I can’t take her place up as a mother. “You tried to swallow back your tears and looked up to the ceiling before Pascale grabbed your hand and squeezed it a little bit, making you tear your gaze from the wall and look back at her. “I would rather leave that choice up to her.” You whispered and squeezed her hand back.

“Look at me Y/N. You will never make her forget her parents. Just because if she will call you mom that won’t mean that you can’t keep up their legacy. “ She shook her head” And you already are an amazing mother.” She grabbed both sides of your face, making you look at her eyes deeply. “And she will always be grateful for that.” She kissed your forehead and pulled you closer to her body for a tight hug. You hugged her body back while with your other hand swiped the escaped tear away.

-- Monaco --

Today was special not because it was Sophie’s first time on the track but it was yours too. You always watched F1 when you were a child with your dad, but never been a huge fan of it. So being on the track was definitely a new thing for you. You picked up the little girl from the car seat and grabbed the bag on the other hand, while you followed Charles to the entrance. He looked back at you two and extended his hand out initiating to give him the big bag full with diapers and other essentials.

“I will walk with you to my driver's room, where you can settle down, and can go back anytime you feel or Sophie feels it’s too much for her okay?” He stopped and lifted his sunglasses up and smiled at you. The past few days your communication was on the minimum, he was busy with the new season, constantly in the gym or in his room on the sim. But since you moved back to Monaco something changed. The atmosphere in the flat changed, the way he acted with you too, he was much calmer, more patient and talkative. There were times when he just came out of the room late at night to have a chat with you, which has never happened when you were living in Italy. He was more devoted. And you opened up a little more to him as well, he was not the same person that you have met three years ago. That person was a boy and now you have had a man living under the same roof as you. He was joking with you, teasing and even openly flirting with you from time to time. And you won’t lie, you liked it and even participated in the little flirting and teasing. “Here one for you, and one for the princess.” He grabbed two headphones.

“No way she has her name on it.”You laughed when you saw on one side it stated Sophie’s name and on the other side it said “principessa del paddock (princess of the paddock)” “Can I get one like this too?”

“We can talk about it.” He winked at you and opened the driver’s room. “You just need to say yes.” You looked at him confused, making him roll his eyes. “For that date…”

“I thought you were joking that night about it.” You shook your head and placed the bag on the small table. A few weeks ago happened when he casually hinted away that you could be his date on one of the galas and maybe even have dinner with him before that night. You really thought that he was just nice and did not think it could have been a date.

“Never joke about those things, you should have known it by now. “He smiled at you sadly “ Okay, so I gotta go, but we can meet up later. “He picked his phone up from the table and walked out the door before he turned around ”Oh! Before I forget! Press will be circling around here like sharks..So be careful okay?”

“Always.” You answered before he closed the door and left the two of you alone.” Babygirl, boys are confusing. My suggestion would be to avoid them as much as you can, maybe when they are around their 30s they can be better…”You looked at the toddler who was sitting on the bed looking back at you with her beautiful doe eyes and started to giggle. “Yea I know my love life is a joke, no need to laugh about it that obviously.” You shook your head laughing.

The whole paddock was buzzing, everyone was running around like crazy. Media was running around capturing every moment of the seventh race of the season while teams were walking up and down the road of the paddock. The garage was busy as well, mechanics were preparing the cars for opening laps. You were intimidated about the crowd not knowing where you can and cannot go, did not want to be in the way of anyone. Wanted to stay in the drivers room, but somehow Sophie was more interested about the things that went on outside, she was throwing a full tantrum about not wanting to play with the toys inside, all she wanted to open the door and be outside. Nothing was good for her at the moment, not if you picked her up, not if you tried to distract her somehow, so you just grabbed her hand and walked out of the garage.

As soon as you planted your feet outside different media outlets just swarmed you.

“Y/N! This is your first time on the track? How do you feel about it?” One reporter showed the microphone into your face, while the other five reporter were pushing on him. You pushed the little girl behind you, letting go of her and as you were trying to protect her with your body.

“Y/N! How does Sophia feel like being on the track?” Everyone was just loudly asking question from left to right as they were pushing you further away from the garage.

“Please! Take a few steps back! “ You pleaded “Sophie?” You turned around looking for the toddler as you have not felt her little hands on the back of your thighs anymore. “Sophia, where are you!” You looked around frantically as you tried to grab a glimpse of the little girl's figure out of the crowd. “Sophia! " You called her again, but couldn't find her. Panic started to rise up in your body, making your throat closing and your breath quickened. “Get out of the way! Where is Sophia?” You pushed yourself through the crowd of reporters not caring about that you have knocked a few microphones out of the reporter’s hand. “No, please god…” You whispered as you were looking around in the paddock, panic fully spread through your body. You started to run the way of the Ferrari’s garage as you kept calling out for the little girl.

“Y/N! What's going on? “ Carlos grabbed on your arm making you stumble in your own feet.

“Y/N? Why are you crying?” Charles stepped next to his teammate, the smile disappeared on his face instantly.”Where is Sophie?” He looked behind you and snapped his sight back at you.

“I.. I don’t know. She was really cranky, she wanted to go out, we went out for a walk and the media just surrounded us. “You were looking around, maybe she could spot her before turning back to the drivers. “They pushed and pulled on us, I showed her behind me, and next thing I know, she just disappeared. “ You looked at him, tried to calm your breath so the words you were saying were understandable for them.” Charles I lost her.” You summarized the past happenings through the hiccups and sobs.

“Okay I’ll go to the loudspeaker and ask them to say that she is missing.” Carlos swiped his palm on your shoulder with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, we will find her. She can’t go that far away.”

“Come on, we need to go and check if she went the other way.” Charles grabbed on your right hand and pulled you down on the way where you came from. “Please don’t cry.” He squeezed your hand. You were shouting Sophia’s name left to right, causing everyone to look at you, before they started to help looking for the little girl. You were a full mess, crying and screaming the little girl's name as you were looking around.

“Charles!” Max shouted at our way, making us stop and turned to his way. And there she was, snuggling on the chest of Max, as he was waving. You ripped your hand out of Charles’s and ran down to the way of the paddock.

“Mommy!”She giggled as Max put her down and she ran to your arms. You picked her up and hugged tightly to your body and held her head close to your neck and combed your fingers through her hair. Charles wrapped his arms around you two and rocked you back and forth as you were trying to calm your cries.

“Sophie, I was so scared. Baby I’m so sorry.” You pushed the little girl away from your body and looked into her eyes. Her smile faded away as she grabbed your face and looked at you and at Charles.

“Thank you Max.” You lifted your head up and wiped the tears away from your cheek. Stepped out of Charles embrace and hugged his body with your left arm. “Thank you really.”

“No worries, she was just wandering around in here, smiling at everyone, and she just walked in and grabbed my hand. I was just about to walk to your garage hearing that you were looking for her when I saw you too.”He explained and patted Sophie's head, “She was so curious about everything.” He smiled and pinched her cheeks.

“Thank you man.” Charles shook his hand before wrapping his arm around your waist leading you out of the garage. “ We should head back.” You walked quietly down on the way back to the garage.

“I’m sorry.” You broke the silence as you walked into the driver’s room.” You were right..”

“About what?” He looked at you puzzled, closing the door behind him.

“Me, not capable of this..” You sighed as you sat down in the room watching Sophie playing with the blocks on the carpet. “I’m the worst parent ever.”

“Oh Y/N..” He rubbed his face and sat down next to you pulling your hand away from your lap as you were anxiously playing with your fingers, picking on your skin. “I was not right. You are the most incredible parent.”

“But I lost her..”

“And we found her, and she was actually doing perfectly fine. Don’t beat yourself up, please. Chérie, look at me.” He lifted up your face by your chin, he swiped the single tear away that escaped. ”Would you think that she would call you mommy if you would be the worst parent ever?” He studied your face and grabbed the piece of hair out of your face and put it behind your ear before continuing. “You could not hear it because of the panic. But this little angel just saw you and instantly said mommy. And you are the best mom ever, and you are capable of so many things in this world you can’t even imagine. You wake up everyday for this girl, taking care of her, running a full household, working at the same time. You just amaze us everyday.” He leaned closer and touched your foreheads together as his eyes never left yours. “And if we would have time I would continue telling you all the things that make you amazing.” He whispered as his eyes went back and forth between your lips and your eyes. You’ve never been this close in your life, you could not tear your gaze away from his beautiful greenish eyes with those specks of brown in it. Your breath caught up in your throat as you were looking down at his lips while you licked your own. A loud knock on the door made you two jump apart.

“Charles! It’s time for the free practice! “

“Coming!” He shouted back and got up from the bed. “I’ll be back soon okay? You can watch it on the TV here too, or you can come down to the garage. Lorenzo will probably be there.” He picked up on the earcovers and gave it to you. You smiled at him and nodded as he crouched down and gave a little kiss on the top of Sophie’s head before walking to the door to open it.

“Charles!” You stood up making him turn back looking at you surprised. “Kick some ass il predestinato!” You smiled at him, and he shook his head laughing before stepping back and grabbed on your cheeks before kissing your forehead.

“Will do Chérie.” He looked into your eyes and winked at you with a cheeky smile and left the room.

-----------

“Are you ready?” Charles knocked on the bathroom door.

“In a minute! “ You mumbled as you were lining your eyes for the tenth time, because those eyeliner just did not want to be symmetrical.

“You said it ten minutes ago.” He laughed on the other side of the room.

“And it will be another ten minutes if you keep bothering me.” You giggled and sprayed some hairspray on your hair. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, adjusting the strap of the dress on your left shoulder. The red dress were hugging your curves all the right places ending it around your waistline and falling down in waves till the floor. You never thought red would suit you, especially this type of red, that were the perfect color match of the Ferrari’s shade. The top of the dress really helped with your look of your breasts with a modest cut in the middle. You were not a tall person, usually you said that you have short legs too, but in this dress with the slit on your right leg just made it look like you have beautiful long legs. And the whole look was just put together with the black stiletto. You felt beautiful and powerful and sexy.

You opened the door and walked out the room.

“Mommy!”Sophie squealed” Pretty! “She clapped her hands together as she was jumping on the bed of your room, making Charles lift his gaze up from his phone as he was sitting next to her on the bed. His mouth was agape and sat upright, putting the phone next to him on the bed.

“Yes baby, mommy is beautiful.” He whispered and got up from the bed. He was wearing the standard black suit and trousers with the Ferrari logo on it, which looked so good on him, making him so handsome. You felt your cheeks getting warmer as you blushed due to him staring at you with sparkling eyes. And the word mommy and beautiful out of his mouth just made you feel a hundred times more prettier. He has never said mommy to you since Sophie said it in the weekend, but somehow it just made your whole stomach do a somersault and a warm feeling spread through you. You truly felt special.

“Thank you, thank you! “You giggled as you twirled around making the little girl clapping her hands. You leaned down and kissed the side of Sophie’s cheek which made her giggle even louder, then grabbed Charles’s cheek too and kissed his also. He stopped and started at you with a smile on his face as his ears turned red just before his cheeks. He was about to say something when the door opened and Pascale walked in.

“Come on kids, they are waiting down at you. Oh my gosh Y/N, you look stunning!” Pascale looked up from her phone and stopped in the entrance as she saw the two of you. “You two are just so beautiful!” She clapped her hands together.

“Merci beaucoup Maman.” Charles walked to his mother and kissed her cheek.

“Have a great night. No need to rush home okay?” She gave you your small purse and kissed your cheek, you smiled at her wildly and followed Charles out of the room.

The elevator’s door opened and in the hall the group of people turned around looking at the two of you walking out. A few claps and whistles went around from Carlos and Pierre as you got closer making you blush for the umpteenth time of the night.

“Incroyable! “ Pierre said as he caught your hand and made you turn around. “You look stunning!” He pulled you closer and hugged you with one arm.

“Merci.” You smiled at him and tucked a string of hair behind your ear. “Are we waiting for someone else?” You looked around in the lobby before your eyes stopped at Charles who was looking at his phone.

“Yes, one more person and we can go.” He answered and looked up. “There she is!” He pointed and all of you turned to the left seeing a blonde woman walking down your way, throwing her hair every time she took a step. She was wearing the same shade of red as your dress just with a bigger cut on the cleavage area and the slit on the side came all the way up to her upper thigh.

“Hello there, sorry for being late, my hairdresser just took longer than expected. "She stopped next to Charles and pecked him on the lips.

“Hi, I’m Amanda!” She turned to you all and shook hands with the guys first before stopped and stared at you.” Oh you must be Y/N, the one who raised that pretty little girl with Charles.” Her smile was wide, even looked like a snarl as she grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly and shook it before pulling you closer and gave two kisses on your cheeks. You were taken back by the way she just greeted you so you just mumbled a quiet hello back to her. “The taxi is waiting actually outside, but could not get one taxi, so Charles, Carlos and I will go in one, and you two in another.” She clapped her hand together looking at you.” Hope it’s not a problem.”

“No, of course not.” You answered, shaking your head, still confused about how she got in here, and who she was. Charles has never mentioned that he has someone.

“Perfect!” She squealed, hooked her arm with Charles’s and started to walk out from the lobby.

You turned around and looked at the French driver next to you with a confused expression, which he just answered with a shrug and linked your arms together and pulled you out of the hotel.

“Who is she?” You asked as you were sipping on your margaritas at the table as you looked at the pair talking to the other team members. For the whole night she was holding on to him like she was afraid if she let go he would disappear. You tried not to be judgmental and put your thoughts aside but you felt deep down that something was not right with her. The whole thing was just weird.

“One of the Ferrari’s investor’s daughter. As far as I know, her dad put down a big check for them for this season’s car.” Pierre leaned back in his chair as he was playing with the glass in his hand. “They got together at one of the parties last week.” He added as you were taking a sip from your drink, making it go down in the wrong pipe, alcohol burning your throat. “What? You didn’t know?” He looked at you surprised and you shook your head as you were coughing. Somehow you felt nauseous and disappointed at the same time as you took a glance at the pair standing far away chatting and laughing with the group.

“We don’t talk about love life to be honest. But never mentioned that he has a girlfriend, especially when he asked me on a date last week.” You placed the empty glass on the table. Pierre studied you quietly with a smirk on his lips. “What now?” You looked at him unamused

“You like him.” He states casually and lifted up his glass of whisky and took a sip. “Admit it.”

“Pierre.” You rolled your eyes and pushed the glass away from you. “There is nothing to admit.”

“Okay, so if there is nothing to admit. Like you do like him.” He took a final sip of the glass and placed the now empty one on the table. He placed his hands on his thighs before getting up from the chair, extending his hand out for you.” Come let’s have a shot, and dance with me.” You laughed and took his hand. “And go on a date with me.” He pulled you closer to his body, wrapping one arm around your waist. You looked surprised at him not answering which just made him chuckle. He winked at you tugging along all the way to the bar. He ordered two tequila shots from the bartender, and without even a hesitation you threw the shot back, enjoying the burning sensation down your throat all the way to your stomach.

“Okay.” You said out of nowhere, making him turn to your way looking surprised. “I’ll go on a date with you.” His smile even got wider and motioned to the waiter asking for another round. The night ended with many other shots and cocktails making you unstable in your heels and a terrible headache in the morning. You were on your way to the restaurant of the hotel with Sophie grabbing on your pinky to have breakfast.

“Good morning.” You greeted the group already sitting at the table making them turn around. You lifted up the little girl and placed her in the feeding chair next to the empty one waiting for you.

“Good morning, how are you feeling?” Pierre looked at you with a smirk on his face.

“Headache. Just gonna check the coffee machine and something for Sophie.” You pointed behind you.

“Coffee is already here, though you might need it after the amount that you have had.” He pushed the cup to your side making you smile at him.

“Thanks, you are a lifesaver .” You smiled at him widely and turned to check the offer for breakfast at the table when you saw Charles and Amanda walking to your way.

“Hey Y/N. Did not see when you left yesterday.” Charles smiled as he was holding on to his cup, while the blonde just nodded to your way and sat down at the table. “Oh shit sorry I forgot your coffee.” He looked up from his mug.

“No worries, Pierre has already taken care of it, but thanks. "You smiled at him and patted his shoulder before walking to the way of the tables.

“So did you enjoy last night?” Carlos asked as you were mixing the yogurt for Sophia in her plate with some fresh fruits.

“Yes it was fun.” You answered as you tried to feed the kid. Mornings were usually hard for you, till you had a big mug of coffee you were not in your usual chatty self, but you forced yourself to be nice.You were about to continue your thoughts about last night.

“Oh it was so much fun! To meet all those incredible people there!” Amanda jumped in the conversation loudly making everyone look at her. You grabbed the spoon harder and took a deep breath before moving your gaze to her way with an amused expression. Your head was still pounding and the squeaking voice was really not helping with it. “And the food. Oh my gosh it was so good. Right Y/N?” You could see it from the corner of your eye that Pierre was having a blast with the awkward conversation that went on between you and the blonde.

“It was pretty shit to be honest.” You looked at her unamused, making everyone burst out laughing, even Charles. “Never understood the concept of those fancy foods smeared all over a huge plate.” You shrugged and turned back to the girl but she was not paying attention to the food she was more about to play with Charles’s hands and the bracelets on his wrist. After a few more tries you just gave up, and grabbed your coffee and drank from it. If she wants to eat she can eat later, you are not rushing anywhere.

“Hey Sophie! Baby! “ Amanda leaned over the table and dropped some berries on her plate.” Heard you call Y/N your maman. If you want to, you can call me Maman too.” The whole table just stopped and everyone went quiet. You looked up from your cup and deadly stared at the woman sitting on the other side of the table, switching your sight at Charles studying his surprised face, trying to read anything from it. You narrowed your eyes slightly and your fingers squeezed the porcelain harder than before. He kept your gaze and you could see it in his eyes he was trying to initiate something. That woman really has some thick skin on her face.

“No, thanks.” Sophie chirped back and tossed the berries down from her plate. You could not help but let out a loud snort nearly spilling the coffee on the table. Covering the widening smile on your lips with the back of your right hand.

“Savage.” Carlos mumbled diving back down on his plate trying to hide his smile spreading on his face. You looked back at Charles watching him lifting up the napkin, hiding his smile under it as well.

“I’m gonna get another cup of coffee.” Amanda pushed the chair back with such a force and stomped away from the table.

“At least she was polite about it and said thanks.” You added and placed the cup on the table, everyone around the table started to laugh and tried to cover it with coughing while Sophie was giggling loudly and clapping with her small hands, the smile on her face was so wide and proud, she knew that she was the cause of the laugh and she loved it. You looked at the man sitting on the other side of Sophie, Charles was now silently laughing as his shoulders moved up and down giving it totally away.

@YNscameraroll New year, new challenges, new lifestly and new season is ON.

-- Monte Carlo --

“I’ve asked mum to come for babysitting tomorrow.” He walked in the kitchen leaning on the kitchen island as you were preparing some snacks for Sophie. You were back in the flat in Monaco before the next upcoming race.

“What for?” You looked at him confused.

“For the event. You forgot about it? I wrote it on the message board.” He pointed behind him on the fridge where you kept that board you usually wrote everything. The colorful board had different type of events and messages and even grocery list on it. It was perfectly color coded Pink was for Sophie, orange was for you and obviously red was for Charles.

“Oh shit. I totally forgot. “You put your palm on your forehead as you remembered.” I can’t go tomorrow.”

“What? Why? It does not say anything for you tomorrow.” He looked at the board checking the days on it

“I forgot to write there. But I can’t really go. “You scratched the back of your neck.”I have a date.”

“A date?” He looked back at you with his eyebrows furrowed. “With who?”

“Can’t you just take Amanda? She would enjoy it a lot.” You turned back to the island and continued to cut up some fruits on the plate.

“Don’t change the topic. With who Y/N?”

“Okay alright. With Pierre.”

“The fuck?”

“Language! “You turned around looking at him. “ We have a three year old in this house with ears that the FBI could use as a listening device, she is that good and you know it.” You scolded him and hit his upper arm. You both needed to be extra careful what you have said because that girl had radars instead of her ears. She has already learned some swear words that somehow slipped out of yours or his mouth from time to time.

“How did you get together?” He was rubbing his arm with a painful look on his face.

“It’s nothing really. He asked me out at that gala last week when you were all over the place with Miss blondie.”

“I see. Okay cool, hope you will have fun.”

“I hope too, thanks.” You smiled at him and washed your hands in the sink. “So? Are you gonna ask her tomorrow?”

“Nah, just gonna stay at home with Sophie, and we are gonna have the best night of our life.”

“Okay cool.”

“Yes, very cool” he picked up the plate from the kitchen island and walked out of the kitchen leaving you confused.

“Okay, you know the drill. Even if it’s Friday she can’t stay up till 10, because tomorrow she will be cranky. And for sleeping she will need that bunny she got from your mom, and..” you rambled as you walked out of the bathroom trying to put one earring in your ear.

“Y/N! Stop! ” He grabbed your upper arm and stopped you. “ We are gonna be fine! You look beautiful by the way.” He looked up and down on you. You were wearing a black pencil skirt with a white button down you just tugged casually in the front of the skirt. It was a casual but elegant style. You smiled at him meekly and tucked a string of hair behind your ear.

“Thank you!” Your phone rang on the dining table.” He is here. I’ll be back in a few hours. Have fun.” You leaned down and kissed the top of the little girl's head and turned to Charles and squeezed his hand. “If you need…”

“I’ll call you or my mom. I know. Now go! He is waiting” his smile was not reaching his ears as usual, he let go of your hand and opened the door for you.

You opened the blue sports car's door and slid in.

“Hey” you greeted and turned to kiss both sides of his cheek.

“Hi, you look stunning.” He smiled and turned the car on and started to drive the way to the restaurant. The whole dinner went well. You were chatting freely above your dishes, jumping in topics, never a quiet moment at your table.

“So have you ever went on a date with him?” He asked once he finished his cup of water by the end of the dinner.

“With who?”

“Charles.”

“Oh, yes once. It was a blind date set up by the parents of Sophie. Can’t say it ended well though.” You pulled the side of your mouth and put your fork down.

“No way!” His mouth gaped as you looked at him confused waiting for him to continue “ you were that girl who left him at the table. That’s hilarious.”

“So he did tell you about it.. just left my name out of it.” You rolled your eyes.”Was not hard because he did not even remember me.”

“He did, but he told me that he was the biggest dick in his life and he was so mad at himself for leaving out the opportunity to have a normal date with a beautiful girl like her.” He picked your hand off the table by your pinky. “And he is right, it was his biggest mistake. Because you are really incredible.” He played with your fingers on the table. “But I also know that I can’t shoot my shot. And before you start to oppose, I just have to look at you and see the way you look at him. That’s how every men wants that one girl in their life to look at him like that. And you might be blind as well. No I’m not right. Both of you guys are blind.” He laughed and lifted your hand up to his mouth to lay a kiss on the back of your hand. “I would like to thank you for the date. I really enjoyed the time with you. And if ever you want to go and have dinner with me, not as a date, I’m always up for it, okay?”

“We can have a non-date dinner or lunch.” You winked at him smiling widely. “Thank you Pierre.” You stood up from the table and walked to his side and hugged him.

“Your welcome Chérie.” He hugged you back. “Come on, let's go home.” He kissed the top of your head and led you out of the restaurant.

“Hello, I’m back.” You whispered as you opened the door, peaking your head in the living room seeing that the TV was still on.

“Hey” Charles sat up and muted the tv.” Sophie is sleeping already. So how was the date? You came back pretty early.” He followed you to the kitchen as you took down two glasses from the cupboard and picked a red wine out of the fridge

“Was good.” You slid one of the glasses to his way before taking a sip of yours.” But not a date.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“We just realized it can't be a date.”

“So you two are not?” You shook your head nibbling on the side of the glass, contemplating if you should ask it or not. But the amount of alcohol you have had during the dinner made you feel courageous and curious.

“You and Amanda?”

“No, I broke it off after the morning of the gala.” He shook his head and took a sip of his glass too. You let out the breath you were holding in before placing the glass on the table.

“She was a bitch.” you commented and he got surprised by your bold comment and smiled at you widely. “ You know I’m honest” You shrugged and giggled.

“Yes she was.” Took a swig from his glass.

“Sophie really told her off.” You giggled and he started to laugh as well.

“She learned from the best.” He added between laughs. You were looking at each other through your glasses, before you placed yours down on the counter and walked closer to him. Your eyes never left him. “What are you doing?”

“Hoping I’m not making a bad choice.” You whispered as you grabbed on both of the sides of his face and pulled him closer to you, smashing your lips on his. You felt he was surprised by you and instantly you felt panic. You were about to break the kiss off when his arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to his body as he kissed you back. You moaned into the kiss as one of his hands slid up on your body all the way to the back of your neck. His lips were soft and you could taste the red wine he just drank.

You linked your arms behind his head and played with the hair in the back of his neck. You stepped back all the way till you hit the kitchen counter, with one easy move he lifted you up and placed you on the kitchen island and started to kiss down your face all the way to your neck. You lifted his shirt up and threw it somewhere on the kitchen floor. You were panting and you tilted your head to the other way making more room for him.

“You are incredible.” He mumbled in your neck, his hands were grabbing on your thighs as you spread them apart leaving him more space to pull your body in his. “You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this.”Hands started to leave your thighs and pulled the tucked shirt out of your trousers and started to open up the buttons. His lips were about to kiss the top of your breasts when you jumped apart as Sophie called out from the other side of the living room, she walked out rubbing her eyes tiredly. You grabbed the shirt and tried to hold it together covering yourself up, as Charles stepped away from you and walked up to the little girl.

“Yes baby? Is everything okay?”

“Bad dream.” She grabbed his hand and pulled her back all the way to her room. He looked back at you still sitting on the counter before disappearing at the corner. You jumped down from the counter and drank the leftover wine from the glass while you redo some buttons on your shirt. You released a big sigh and tried to steady your breath. You ran your hands through your hair and rubbed down your face, your skin on your face was hot. Stepping out of your heels and walking down on the hallway as you passed the room of Sophie’s you peaked in. The little girl was sleeping on the top of Charles on her small bed and under her there was the loudly snoring Charles. You smiled at the sweet picture in front of you and walked in the room and grabbed the blanket before covering them with it and quietly left the room.

@YNscameraroll You knew that phrase that if something is quiet with kids, you better check it out. And you found them sleeping in her little bed.

Two arms wrapped around your waist from the back which made you jump as you were filing up your mug with coffee. He pulled your body closer to his as he put his chin on your shoulder, his hot breath fanning your face.

“ Good morning beautiful” His voice was raspy that just made goosebumps running all over your body.

“ How was the sleeping in the small bed?” You both giggled and you filled the other cup with coffee too, sliding it to the side for him.

“ I’m so sorry.” He kissed your neck which made your breath caught up in your throat. “I will make it up for you, okay?” He whispered in your right ear as his left hand’s index finger was drawing shapes on your hips where your top rolled up. You leaned back into his chest more, the thought of his fingers on your skin, caressing you and his lips so close to your ear just made your knees shaking. “Just it has to wait because someone is lurking on us. “ He turned you around and kissed the tip of your nose before letting go of you and walked to the kitchen table with the mug in his hand. “ But I’m gonna take you out on a proper date tonight. And we will see where it takes us.”

“This is where we had our blind date.” You turned to him on the passenger seat as he parked the car in front of the restaurant.

“Thought we should redo our first date.” He smiled at you and got out of the car before jogging to your side and opened it for you, extending a hand to help you out. He laid his hand on the small of your back as you walked to the restaurant where the waiter guided you to the back of a small table, separated from the other guests.

“You are on the right track, you arrived on time.” You winked at him, making him chuckle as he was sitting opposite of you. “Hope you are not gonna leave me here either.”

“We will see.”

You opened the front door of your flat, and just took a step in before Charles grabbed your waist and turned you to face him, without hesitating he pulled you closer and kissed you. You instantly wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, kissing him back. The two of you were backing up on the way to the livingroom, stumbling over a few toys left around on the floor, making the two of you giggle. He easily grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you up and pushed your back to the wall. His fingers were digging into your skin making you moan into his mouth. His lips left your and started to kiss down all the way on your neck.

“Yours or mine?” He mumbled into your skin and let you down on your feet, you grabbed his hand and pulled him into your room. Planting both your palm on his chest you pushed him more into your room all the way to your bed where you pushed a little more on him, making him falling on the furniture.

“What’s that?” He asked and sat up before pulling out a plastic block under the blanket. You looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Life with a kid, huh?” He threw the block on the other side of the room and grabbed your wrist and pulled you down on him. “Finally we can finish something that got disturbed the other day.” His hand went behind your head and pulled you down on him for a kiss. Hands were running up and down on each other’s body, pulling on the clothes that you were wearing impatiently. You broke the kiss and sat back on his lap, grabbing on the hem of your dress that had rolled up till your waist and pulled it over your head and threw it somewhere in the room. Leaving you just in your black lace underwear. “Putain” He mumbled, staring at your body, before his eyes met yours again. You started to unbutton his shirt and opened it up so his beautiful upper body were on display now. He was waiting for you for an other kiss but just before your lips would touch you slides down and started to kiss your way down on his chest down to his stomach, you could feel under your fingers and your lips that his breathing got heavier with every kiss, and the pull of his muscles. You reached his waist and before opening the button of his black jeans you looked up at him. The way he was watching you just made you feel more hotter than ever, his hungry eyes were watching you, waiting for your next move. You opened his jeans with an easy move and pulled it down. Just as you hooked your fingers in his boxers he grabbed your hands and pull you up, before turning the two of you, making him on the top. You opened your legs more, to leave him more space to get between them.

“As much as I want to look at you all day in this set, I need to check out what you have under it.” He kissed you with such a force that let you breathless as his fingers got under the strap of your bra pulling it down, freeing your breasts, latching his mouth on the soft skin. You stretched your back with a moan as he sucked on the skin and the nipples. You raised your hips to have some friction with calming down the burning sensation in your core. He growled on your breasts as he lowered his hips down, pushing it on yours, feeling his bulge through your soaked panties.

“Charles, please” You whispered and let your hands ran through his hair, gripping on his soft hair and pulled him up for a kiss. “I need you.” You moaned into his mouth.

“I can feel it chérie.” He chuckled and laid his palm on your hot core that soaked through the lacy material. He pulled down his boxers as his other hand was still rubbing on your crotch, making you squirm under him. He sat back and grabbed the sides of your panties and pulled down with an easy move, leaving your completely naked in front of him for the first time. For a minute he was just looking down at you, mesmerized by the beauty of you, lust were radiating off your body. You were the most beautiful and sexiest thing he has seen before, and he just couldn't get enough of the sight. “Tu es si incroyablement belle (You are so amazingly beautiful). I’m a lucky bastard’ He smiled as he leaned closer, pecking your lips.

“I want to feel you, please.” You mumbled on his lips, moving your hips feeling his tip between your folds. He was hesitating. “I'm on the pill.” Without another second you could feel the familiar stretch inside of you as he pushed himself in. Both of you moaned because of the feeling, you grabbed on his upper arm, digging your nails into his skin, as he pushed himself further and further in you. "Putain, you are so thight." he growled and breathed heavily as he stopped for a few times before sliding in more. You slided your hand between the two of you to the way of your clit to start a circle on your clit to help with the pain and turn it into more pleasure. He started to move slowly as he was kissing and sucking on your neck. "Please, faster." That was the only thing that could come out of your mouth. Your minds were in full ecstasy, your nails scraping through his back. The only thing was on your mind on repeat was his name. He picked up the pace and now he was slamming into you in a deep and fast rhythm. “God.. you are so good” You could feel your orgasm coming in a second but with him at that pace you could feel he was getting closer also. All it took were a few moves and you were screaming in pleasure while you came over his dick. And it did not take longer for him to follow you,feeling him twitching inside of you and with a loud grunt he closed his eyes and let his head fall in the crook of your neck. He rolled off you, pulling you close to his body, still inside of you, leaving you still in full bliss. Your panting was filling up the quiet room before you cleared your throat and spoke.“ You really made up for the first date.” You looked up at him, he was looking down on you with sparkling eyes as he was chuckling.

“ I will try my best to make up for all the mistakes that I have made, letting you walk away.” He kissed the tip of your nose and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You got up from bed, and headed to the bathroom, just before stepping in the room you turned back.

“Wanna take a shower?” He was laying on your bed, his arms were tucked behind his head. He was the most handsomest thing you have seen in your life till now, his eyes were loving full with admiration, that could make you blush anytime. “Maybe I can make something up for you too. We still have time before Sophie is back.” You wiggled your shoulders teasingly “ And I may have the biggest shower in the whole house, two people can easily fit.” His eyes grew wide, and threw the blanket on the side and jumped out of the bed, crossing the room and picked you up by the waist making you screech and burst out laughing as he went into the bathroom.

—————————————

Everything has been perfect. You’ve never imagined that after that night where everything took a 180 degree turn can turn into something this good. You traveled through Europe with Charles and his team, cheering for him at races with Sophie. Those weekends you spent together the three of you as a little family. When you were back in Monaco for a few days together you were all over each other. It was like a dream, you found someone who supported you in everything, someone who you felt the happiest and the most secure.

“Have you planned your life how you want it to look like, when you were younger?” He asked, breaking the silence as you were sitting on his yacht, watching his family and friends chatting and laughing as music was quietly playing in the background. You were enjoying the little break between race weekends, and what could have been better than spending the time on the yacht if the weather is finally warm. You were sitting on the big sofa in the back of the board with some of his friends. He was looking at the pair sitting on the other side of the deck, the young lady was sitting back on the furniture, locking her hands on top of her belly, she was trying to find a position where she was feeling comfortable with her pregnant belly as she was watching his fiancé playing with Sophie.

“I think most of the people on this planet have an idea about their future.” You turned to him, swirling the wine in your glass.

You knew well that once you will reach this topic. You knew really well that Charles was a true family man. He always said it. He always had one of his family member around him, never a day when he did not speak one of his siblings or his mum. He said it multiple times that he loves kids, and you could see it with Sophie too, he was a born-to-be father. He had told in interviews before too that he want to have at least three kids, he wants a big family. Till this point you always tried to avoid this topic, because you knew it well that he won’t like your answer. And it’s a delicate topic for you two. Either way you knew it that one day you have to talk about it, and you were so scared that it will change the whole dynamic of your relationship. You were frightened how he will take it, or what his decision will be. You knew that you can’t force him, if he wants to go you need to let him go, he can’t “waste” his time with someone who can’t give that one thing that he really wants.

“ And you Charles, have you thought that at the age of twenty five you will have a three years old?” His little brother jumped over the back of the carpet and sat down now next to you.

“ Three years ago I was a dumb ass twenty two years old, who was jumping from girl to girl. '' He looked at you, you just smiled and shook your head. You knew he was talking about that date you have had three years ago. “ Who knows, maybe if things were different now I would be a married man and have a beautiful little girl with the same green eyes as Y/N.” He winked at you and the smile froze on your face as you were staging back at him. Tearing your gaze at him and looked down at your glass in your hand, you were unable to look into his eyes.

“What about you Y/N” Arthur leaned closer to you, nudging your right shoulder a little with his left shoulder. “ Have you thought about when you want to marry and have kids?”

“ About marriage yes, kids no.”

“ You don’t want kids?” Arthur asked back

“ Can we talk about this later?” You looked at him as more of his friends were closer to you than before. You really did not want to have this conversation with him, when others were around you, just because you don’t know how he will react if he will hear it. “ I think I’ll fill up my glass again, if you excuse me.” You got up and walked down the small stairs all the way to the kitchen, grabbing the neck of the wine bottle and tried to pull the cork out of it. It was stuck.

“ Let me help you. “ An arm stretched over our arm taking the bottle out of your hand, and pull out the cork easily. “Why did you run away that quickly? Sorry if Arthur was asking it that way, sometimes his English needs a little morphing on it. He did not want to come out as rude.” Charles took the glass out of your hand too and filled it with wine.

“ It was not Arthur. He did nothing wrong, he was just asking questions, being curious. He is a lovely kid, really. It was about the topic.”

“ About marriage? Please, I did not pop this topic up because I want to rush something with you. I’m sorry if it came out like this..” He was rambling and scratching the back of his neck. You smiled and grabbed both of his hands which made him stop and look at you. You were standing quietly for a few seconds looking at each others eyes, his eyes were wondering around you face, studying your feature. Hoping he may find it what can be the problem.

“ Charles, I thought we could talk about this later, maybe more private but I think it's better if we just get over it now. Because I think this is going to be a dealbreaker for you, and it’s been consuming me for months now. I just did not want to talk about this over Facetime while you are on the other side of the planet.”

“ You know that you can tell me everything. And you have been honest with always, so please go on.”

“ I was not intimidated by the topic of our conversation, however one topic is sensitive for me. Marriage is always a thing that most girls dream of even in their childhood. I was dreaming about it, and still I hope that one day I will say that “ I do” at the altar with someone who is the love of my life. Although starting a family is something that I don’t dream about. “You stepped away and hopped on the kitchen counter. ”When I was sixteen I wanted to have kids, even if I can only have one, but now at the age of twenty eight, no I don’t. And I have,sorry let me correct myself. We have Sophie too. And it’s magical, I love her with all of my heart, but I’m not able to have kids. And it’s nothing connected to my career, because I have got this one before, because I’m way too career driven or whatever bullshit that I have got from other people before. That’s not true, it’s just that I’m infertile.” You took a sip from your glass before continuing. “ I was sixteen when I had an operation, which led to the point that I can’t have kids.” You finished with your monologue and waited a few seconds before dared to look up from your glass at him. He was still standing there, looking at you with no expression on his face. Just staring at you. You swallowed thickly,you felt anxious spread though your body, your worst nightmare was about to erupt. “ It’s shocking, I know. And not something that you just expected, or wanted to ever hear. Also I could not keep it as a secret anymore. Although I want you to know that you are free, I’m not tying you down, not gonna force you.You decide on your own, and I won’t be mad. All I’m asking to be honest with me, if you are feeling that this is something you don’t want just tell me. I can’t let it happen again, I can’t just wake up one day and get to know that I’m cheated on, because I can’t give you what most of the women can. If you want to break things off with me, tell me. We can take care of Sophie, and act civil at the same time. “ You whipped the tears away that were falling freely on your cheeks. “I’m so sorry Charles.” You whispered. He was still standing still at the entrance of the kitchen, not saying a word. Defeated, you jumped down from the counter, you knew he needed some time to process everything. You went around the counter. “If you need time, I get it. I won’t rush you. If you want to stay alone, I can go back to your mother's house as long as you need it.

“Y/N!” He cleared his throat and called after you on your way on the stairs. “ I won’t walk away, I won’t fuck up this time. I promised it. I just need some time”

“You won’t fuck up everything, I’ll wait for you. You smiled at him painfully and turned and walked back to the group, while picking up the bag. “ Hey Pascale. Can I sleep at your place with Sophie?” You touched her shoulder, making her focus on you as you asked. Worry ran through her face, before she smiled at you nodding.

“Do you think that it’s a good idea?” You asked Pierre as you made your way down the hallway of their motorhome. “We haven’t really talked in like three days now.” You were anxious about this idea, but Pierre was determined.

“Please, he has been a mess. Not because of what you have talked about, but that he does not have you in his life.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder as Sophie was sitting on his other arm. “And he was the one who got the tickets. So he wanted you here. Go, get changed, I have everything in my room and I’ll see you girls outside.” He kissed the top of your head just before handing over the toddler.

“Oh Soph, remember when we talked about boys? “ You looked at the beautiful little girl sitting on the small couch in the Alpine driver’s room after you both changed your clothes.

She was beaming and clapping her hands on the sofa wearing the small ferrari coat which had the number 16 on the back and the paddock princess sign on the front. You picked up the girl from the couch and turned to the mirror checking out your matching outfit. You walked out of the room to the garage, fixing the headphones on Sophie when she pointed her little finger to one of the big screens of the garage.

“Daddy!” She screamed making you whip your head to the way where she was pointing seeing that they had Charles’s interview on the screen.

“Baby, yes that’s daddy.” You kissed the top of her head. This was the first time he called him dad, you wished that he could hear it too, because he would be on cloud nine by now. You watched the race from Pierre’s garage, and moved with the crowd out to the park fermé once it was over. You watched as the two Ferrari drivers were jumping around with their teams hugging each other, celebrating that both of their drivers finished on the podium. Pierre walked to his friend and pat him on the shoulder before pulled him closer to his body for a hug.

“They are here waiting for you.” He winked and pointed at him as he walked backwards to his team. Charles tore the helmet off his head with his balaclava and scanned through the crowd.

“Daddy!” He whipped his head to the right seeing one of the most important thing in his life running all the way to him with a huge smile on her little face. He crouched down and opened his arms letting the little girl jump in his embrace. He held the back of her head as he hid his face in her neck.

“Hi baby.” He whispered into her neck. “Where is mommy?” He pulled her little body away from him, studying the face of the little girl. She turned in his arms pointing to their right. There you were, standing in the corner, hugging your own body, in the same red jacket looking at them as tears were rolling down on your beautiful cheeks. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, the most beautiful thing in his life that meant the world to him. The person who he had the last thing in his mind before falling asleep and the first thing in his mind when he woke up everyday, the person who was raising a child with him, having a family. The person who he was head over heels in love with. He skipped the distance between the two of you and without another word he grabbed your face and pulled you close for a kiss, that knocked the wind out of your lungs.

“You are that person who I want to raise this little girl, watch her to be a teen and then an adult. You two are my family, and you are the love of my life. I have had to realise in the past three days that I already have everything I need in my life. A beautiful girl, who I can raise with the most incredible woman in the world who I’m head over heels in love with. My only question would be. Are you still in this with me?” He was studying your face, caressing your cheeks with his thumb. His eyes were shining under the fluorescent light, you have never seen his eyes more beautiful before.

“We agreed and signed it a year ago to raise this little angel together. It’s just a bonus if I can show you how much I can love you too.” You smiled at him. “I love you so much.” You whispered on his lips just as he pulled you closer for another deep kiss, without caring about the world around you. All it mattered was the three of you, your little family.

If you would like to be added to the taglist please let me know

Taglist 🤍: @vividwritinglove @mytinycrazymind @ophcelia @freyjhasdesiredreality

#f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles lecrelc #dadcharlesxreader #f1 smut #f1 x oc #f1 fanfiction #f1 x reader #Spotify

1K notes · View notes

strangererotica · 6 days

Text

EXPLICIT CONTENT | MINORS DNI

Devil Worshipping Cultists Steve & Eddie x Virgin Sacrifice Fem!Reader

ADVISORY: This story contains dark content. Relevant tags are posted below the cut. Proceed only if you’re comfortable consuming content with intense themes and violent imagery. The canon is essentially flipped upside down (no pun intended) with Eddie and Steve behaving as villains in this story.

Eddie and Steve are the villains this story. They are depicted as the kind of devil-worshiping deviants the people of Hawkins accuse Eddie of being. In this story, ‘Hellfire,’ lives up to its name, with Eddie and Steve as a pair of friends who use their ‘devotion,’ to Satan as an excuse to carry out sinister actions.

Additional content warnings: words like bitch and cunt are used as insults against reader. Reader is touched against her will and a knife appears briefly. Reader’s virginity is mocked, as well as her desire to abstain from sex. She is threatened with assault. Misogyny, men being bastards, religious themes (Satan, a church, devil worship). And in the end, the bastards pay…

Eddie Munson’s eyes lick over you sinisterly. “She’s pretty and she’s a virgin?” he huffs, obviously pleased with your ‘credentials.’ “Looks like you hit the jackpot with this one, Steve.”

You hear Steve Harrington, your ‘boyfriend,’ chuckle softly behind you. You’re tempted to turn and face him, but you refuse. He has betrayed you, completely. After three months of dating who you thought was a normal, nice young man, Steve allowed his true personality to emerge. He and his twisted friend Eddie have brought you to a remote location against your will…an abandoned, decaying church. You can’t say for certain what their plans for you are, but it’s obvious they intend to harm you.

Eddie slides a fingertip under your chin, tilting your face upward. Dying sunlight streams through a window on the ceiling. Its rose-tinted glass casts a haunting glow over the room. “See that?” Eddie asks, pointing to the window. “Up there? That’s the only way out of this room-.” He glances mischievously at Steve. “-For her, anyway,” he laughs, then to you, “So unless you’ve got a set of wings I don’t know about...” Eddie moves behind you and abruptly tugs the collar of your shirt downward, splitting the fabric down your back. “…Nope, no wings,” he confirms. Eddie’s eyes feel like snakes slithering over your exposed skin. “…I guess that means you’re dying tonight,” he concludes.

As quickly as it appeared, Eddie’s dark expression turns crudely joyful, a maniacal laughter bursting from inside him. “M’just fucking with you, sweetheart!” he clarifies, but it does nothing to tame the tension in the room. “Something in you is going to die tonight,” Eddie adds, his voice a taunting lilt. “That much is true…”

Steve’s hands close over your shoulders, a familiar touch that had once felt protective. Now, you realize that every gesture of softness, every gentle word from him, has been a lie. Steve’s voice is chillingly calm as he explains: “Your innocence is dying, tonight.” You force yourself to willingly look at Steve. His hazel eyes are filled with a false sincerity. He never cared for you, at all.

Assuming you don’t understand what’s being implied, Eddie chimes in. “We’re taking your virginity tonight, (y/n).” You shake your head at Steve, whose flat expression betrays any sense of remorse. “Why?” you ask, your voice breaking. “Is this because I made you wait?? Because I’m saving that experience…having sex…for my wedding night??”

Eddie laughs out loud at your words; he finds your standards of morality equal parts hilarious and pathetic.

“Christ, Steve!” he chortles. “Where’d you find this one? Behind a pulpit??”

“Trust me (y/n),” Steve tells you. “Eddie and I aren’t doing this because you wouldn’t sleep with me the whole time we were dating. I could have taken what I wanted from you anytime during those three months.” Steve’s lips pout down at you; he’s mocking you now, just like Eddie. “Besides,” Steve continues. “It’s not like I wasn’t fucking around with other bitches the whole time, (y/n). Girls who didn’t have one damn problem spreading their legs for me…”

Eddie slaps Steve’s back in a toxic, macho sort of congratulation. “That’s my boy,” he sings. “Now, let’s get to the best part, Steve.”

Eddie reaches for the front of your shirt and yanks it down, revealing your breasts blooming over a push-up bra. “Well how about that??” he balks. “What kind of virgin wears sexy shit like that under her clothes?”

You glare at Eddie. “Believe it or not, women wear clothes for themselves,” you bite back. “Not everything’s for men and especially not you, asshole!”

Eddie shudders, pretending to be intimidated. “My apologies, y-your highness, your l-ladyship,” he stutters, holding his palms in front of him in surrender. “You got me. I’ll change my ways, I swear.”

Eddie’s open hands close suddenly over your breasts, clutching them firmly, pulling a shocked gasp from your lips. “…But not today,” he grins smugly, continuing to grope you. “Now tell me, did Stevie here at least make it to second base?”

Steve blows a drawn-out raspberry. “Not a chance,” he jeers. “This bitch is as uptight as they come. Barely let me put my tongue in her fuckin’ mouth.” Steve cups your cheek in his hand, making you flinch. “Isn’t that right, baby?” he murmurs, closing the space between you, the tip of his nose nuzzling yours. “You and those fucking standards of yours…But I guess in the end, all your stupid morals made you the best sacrifice of all…”

You lurch back from Steve, right into Eddie’s arms, unfortunately. He spins you around to face him, a sadistic glimmer in his eyes when he speaks. “That’s right (y/n), we’re sacrificing your purity tonight,” Eddie explains. “And the fact that you’re a goody-two shoes little cunt actually makes it all the better.”

“What are you talking about?” you snap. “Sacrificing my purity? Who the hell talks like that? Fucking weirdos-”

“DON’T-,” Eddie shouts, shoving a finger at you. “-DISRESPECT…the RITUAL.” His eyes are like fire; Eddie is seething. “DON’T-disrespect-HIM…”

The sunlight has faded completely by this point. The only illumination in the room is coming from Eddie’s lighter, a thin flame twitching in his unsteady grip.

You stare stone-faced at Steve, your Judas Iscariot, your betrayer, the man whose lies outshine even his beauty. The window blinks above you, lightning flashing nearby.

“Satan,” Steve utters in a low, reverent tone. As if on cue in a cheesy horror movie, thunder rumbles outside the church.

You roll your eyes at Steve, earning you an even harsher glare from Eddie. “Satan?” you parrot back at Steve. “As in, the Devil? Are you serious?”

“-Is this fucking serious enough for you?” Eddie shouts. He pulls a pocket knife from his pants and juts its tip against your throat. “This is how it has to happen. We prayed to Satan, and He told us.”

“Told you what?” you sneer. “That if you fucked a virgin in the sanctuary of an old church, the Devil will give you magic powers or something? You really believe in that kind of shit?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, tugging your arm towards him. “Because it’s real. And you’re about to find out how real it is.”

He yanks you by the wrist, ordering you onto the ground . A bolt of lightning crackles outside, close enough that it makes Steve and Eddie jump. The brief pulse of light illuminates the three of you, and maybe Eddie’s imagining it, but he could swear your eyes look…different. Darker, somehow.

He assumes it’s just a shadow, a trick of the light, and tries to ignore it. Steve pulls at your arm again, trying to force you onto the floor. But you won’t budge. He can’t understand how you’re fighting him; he’s clearly stronger than you are. Thunder shakes the ground beneath your feet, a low hum bellowing from below as if the earth itself is groaning.

“You hear that?” Eddie asks excitedly, his pulse racing. “It’s Him, Steve. It’s fucking Him!”

Wind whips around the old church, its wooden beams creaking like tired bones. Eddie’s lighter begins to flicker in and out; he curses and smacks it against his palm, trying again.

When the flame ignites, its amber glow illuminates only Steve and Eddie’s faces. You appear to have vanished.

“Where the fuck did she go?? She was right-”

“-Well you were the one holding her fucking arm, Steve-how should I-.”

“HEY!” you call from behind the pulpit. Both men whip their bodies to face you, another burst of lightning revealing their wide eyes gazing up at yours.

“H-how did you do that?” Steve asks, his voice wavering. Eddie shakes the bewilderment from his mind, now even more determined to see his plan through. “You little bitch,” he growls. “I don’t know how you did that, how you got up there that fast, but you’re still ours, and we’re still in control!”

Eddie starts for the podium, but finds himself frozen, unable to move an inch. His eyes go wide as saucers, fear washing over his face.

“You both look so small from up here,” you tell them, leaning over the pulpit, your breasts pressed against it. “Small and weak. Pathetic, actually.”

Eddie smacks Steve’s shoulder, telling him to grab you; but try as he might, Steve is frozen in place as well.

The glow from Eddie’s lighter flicks in and out as his hand shakes uncontrollably. “What the hell is this?” Steve asks in a small, timid voice. But Eddie has no answer to give him.

“All those hours the two of you spent praying,” you speculate, getting high on their fear. “I wonder who you were actually praying to? Because it certainly wasn’t me…”

Steve’s jaw goes slack, sweat dripping from his hairline. Eddie wants to know…has to know, if what you’re implying is true. “L…Lord,” he begins tentatively, his voice trembling. “I had no idea-we-had no idea, it was You-.”

“SILENCE,” you order, and Eddie’s lips seal shut. “Bow to your Master, if it’s Satan you praise. Or can you not bring yourself to kneel at the feet of a woman?” A dry laughter rumbles from your chest, filling the room with heat, rattling the church’s bony frame.

Steve and Eddie tremble beneath you. Lightning strikes above the church; you watch its glare in the ceiling window, how it floods the terrified faces of the men at your feet. A tall tree beside the church is struck; it catches fire immediately.

“You bastards would need a taste of Hell, to understand how sick you are,” you tell Steve and Eddie. “Therefore, it’s what I’ll give you.”

The tree collapses against the roof of the church, setting it ablaze. Eddie and Steve whirl their heads to see it, but their feet are still stuck in place.

You remain calm, as if the decrepit old building isn’t going up like a box of matchsticks around you. “Legend says,” you preach to the men. “That the Devil wears a suit and tie…” You lean forward against the pulpit, your black eyes glaring down at them. “…But sometimes, She wears a push-up bra…”

A beam of rotting wood detaches from the ceiling, falling directly in front of Steve and Eddie, blowing dust and smoke into their eyes. As they cough and sputter and try to make out the shape of you behind the pulpit, they realize you’ve vanished. Panic seizes them both as flames draw closer and closer to the place their feet are locked, immovable. Sweat pours down their faces, eyes wide with tears that evaporate as soon as they form. The heat is suffocating, clogging their throats, smoke filling their lungs to bursting…

…And just as the first touch of fire licks at their skin, it STOPS.

Eddie and Steve are laying in the field outside the church, their backs burning, bits of clothing singed off around them. They gulp the fresh air into their mouths, weeping tears that can finally fall, drinking in the rain as it begins to cascade above them.

They watch the church, as the last of its pillars and beams are consumed by fire, brought down to its foundation. Rain puts out the flames remaining, as darkness swallows the area once more. Smoke rises like a prayer to Heaven, along with the tearful utterances of two men forever changed in one night, asking God to forgive them, two sinners grateful to still be breathing…

129 notes · View notes

acourtofmoonlightandstars · 1 month

Text

Find me - Chapter 2

Pairing: Azriel x fem!reader

Summary: At a ball you meet the one person you thought you would never see again, you left him once. Will you leave him again?

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Angst angst angst

Note: Let's break your hearts once more shall we? thank you all for the insane response on chapter 1, i would've never imagined that...

part 1 - Chapter 3

As soon as Azriel’s shadows had left the room to go out into the world to look for you, he himself pulled the covers off his body as he mentally called out for Rhysand, begging him to get to him as fast as possible.

He prayed a silent prayer, desperately hoping that he would hear him, that he wouldn’t be as lost to his dreams that his mind wouldn’t be aware of possible dangers. He cursed himself, he should have sent a shadow to summon him instead.

The room was dark and still, and the sun was still an hour away before it would rise over the snow covered mountaintops. Azriel was shivering, almost unable to breathe, despite the warm temperature in his room.

And his hands… his hands clawed at his chest, hoping to find a sliver of that golden thread he had felt singing in his chest while he had dreamt. It had to be real, it couldn’t just be a figment of his imagination. You had to exist.

Rhys appeared in front of him, sword in hand as his magic swept through the room, looking for any kind of danger, any kind of threat that would need his immediate assistant. But he came up empty.

The only thing he found was his brother's terrified hazel eyes. They were begging, pleading, but he never verbalized what it was he needed from his High Lord. So instead of asking he entered his mind that Azriel had left completely unprotected.

That in itself was warning enough to Rhys that something had to be terribly wrong. Azriel was one of two in the inner circle whose mind were always completely closed off to him. And it being laid bare before him was a testament to his desperation.

Rhysand scanned the memories but only found the dream that was slowly slipping from his brother's mind. Please save as much of her as you can, I beg of you.

The loss swept through the High Lord of the Night Court and he couldn’t help it when he winced at the sorrow that had crippled his always strong brother. Your face was already gone, only a blurred memory was left.

Rhys saved everything he could, he used all power he had in him to hopefully collect some of what was lost. Your name was long forgotten, the only thing that lingeried was the name that he had given you. Angel.

He felt the thread in his brother's chest, golden and singing to her, that mystery woman, and it felt just like his own. It was a feeling that could not be replicated. Who were you? Friend or foe? Was this all a manipulation? He shook his head, he could think about the implications later

There was such longing in him, such heartbreak at the now missing thread that had connected the two. Rhysand felt how the mere feeling threatened to break his own heart. To loose your bond, would be a fate worse than death.

Feyra stroked her mate's mental shield and sent love down their bond, it was enough for him to snap out of the pain so that he could continue the work, all the while he showed his mate what had happened to her dear friend.

He made sure to take all memories of you and store them away somewhere in his brother's mind where he would be able to access them whenever he wanted to. Whenever he needed to. And when that was done he could do nothing but hold the large Illyrian as he sobbed into his chest.

The day had been terrible. The aching feeling in your chest hadn’t left you for even a second since you’d left your bed that morning. Your hand had constantly rested on your heart, rubbing soothing circles into your chest whenever you felt it ache.

Your eyes were focused on the liquid in your glass. The color of the whiskey, especially as the light shone through it reminded you of something. Which only made your heart arch a little more. You couldn’t help the wince your face made.

A cold hand grabbed the one of yours that was currently resting on the table next to a giant stack of papers. Your twin squeezed your hand to get your attention. He was concerned, and you understood why. It had been decades since you had been this absent, it had been decades since you shut him out.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, as to not draw attention to your lack of engagement in the meeting. You nodded and forced a smile, but you knew you hadn’t convinced him. Your twin flame gave you away.

Having a twin flame was rare, even amongst twins or especially close siblings. It was a bond that connected the two of you to one another, a silent way of communicating, a silent way of knowing if the other was okay. It also meant that the two of you could share your powers.

Your father had helped you to control it, to share without suffocating the fire that burned in your veins or the light that shone from every pore of your body. The two of you were his most prized possession, the lights of his life, the only remaining memory of his mate.

As the Highlord of Day dismissed his closest advisors with a wave of his hand, he asked his children to stay behind.

Helion sighed and pressed the bridge of his defined nose with two fingers. “What’s going on with the two of you?” He looked between you, almost worried.

Lucien shrugged. “Nothing’s going on” you could feel how he strained his voice to be as nonchalant as possible. Unfortunately, your father knew you both a little too well.

“Well that was a bad lie. Y/N, why don’t you give it a go?” He smirked as he tapped the tips of his fingers on the table in an almost teasing manner.

You rolled your eyes and dropped your hand from your heart. “It’s nothing” your voice was much more quiet than you had intended it to be. Which painted Helions face in worry.

“What happened between last night and this afternoon?” He leaned forward in his large chair, elbows resting on his thighs.

You picked at your nails, never meeting his eyes. All the while the wall your had build around your fire, around your light, collapsed.

Lucien stumbled backwards at the wave of your emotions that ran through him. Despite it not being as clear a connection as the bond he had with his mate, it could still be quite overwhelming. Especially when it came to emotions as strong as yours.

Helion was out of his chair and by your side in a second. “Oh my little star… What happened?” His hand came in contact with your cheek and as you leaned into his touch, you felt the tears breaking free from their prison.

“I don’t know?” Your eyes were desperate, your hand once again clawing at your chest. For the first time the men seemed to notice it and they both recognized the desperation behind the act.

“You found your mate?” Lucien whispered. You felt his disappointment and it broke your broken heart a little more.

There was nothing in the world that could’ve stopped the sob that escaped your throat as you launched yourself into your fathers chest. He cradled you in his arms as if you weren’t the fierce warrior he had raised you to be, as if you were something precious and easily broken. Because to him, you were.

“I wish I knew who he was, why is the mother so cruel? What have I done to deserve this kind of punishment? This kind of torture?” you said between panicked breaths.

“What do you mean?” Lucien quickly rushed to the two of you on the floor, forcing your dark eyes to meet his, as you clung to the already dampen shirt of your father.

“I dreamt of him, I felt the bond sing in my chest, and now… Now it’s just gone. I’ve never felt so hollow” Speaking the words aloud broke you even further. And despite them trying to get you to explain further it was impossible to understand what you were trying to tell them.

In the end Lucien picked you from your fathers arms and carried you to your room, tucking you in. The crying and the anxiety had drained you quicker than your typical morning sparring and light wielding.

He hadn’t known you for more than a few decades, but you were one of the few people in this godforsaken world he would risk everything to protect. And seeing you like this, broke him.

Helion was just outside your door when Lucien exited your room, he was talking to a few scholars, no doubt ordering them to scour every library in Prythian to find any record of what had happened to you.

“Is she asleep?” He asked as he saw his son. Lucien nodded.

“It almost sounds like he had a vision, I’ll get Elain here, she might have a better idea on what to do”

Helion sighed. “Let’s hope. Losing your mating bond is enough to drive anyone insane, but losing a bond that has never physically existed? Cauldron, I don’t know what it’ll do to her psyke”

“We’ll protect her dad, as always” Helion smiled at his son, pride filling his heart and soul.

“Yes we will”

“This is insane,” Cassian said as he walked in circles in front of the windows of Rhysands office.

“I still can’t believe that Elaine just left without saying anything, we could really use her right now. She might be the only one on the planet who has a clue as to what this is” Rhys said as he held a hand on his mate's shoulder.

Somewhere in the room Nesta rolled her eyes. “Her mate needed her, so she left. You would’ve done the exact same”

Amren sighed. “Tell us more about her, boy” she said as she looked towards Azriel.

He only shook his head in response.“I can’t keep doing this, it physically hurts not being able to remember her!”

Azriel once again clawed at his leathers, the act itself made everyone winch. This had to be a fate worse than death, Feyra kept thinking.

“Maybe I should go and get Elaine, I mean if I tell her how important it is, she’ll come, right?”

Feyra shrugged as she saw how Azriel pulled one of the throw pillows on the couch closer to his chest.

There was sorrow and sadness in the general’s eyes. He hated that the enemy was not something he could strike down and kill. It was a hopeless feeling that took root in the lord of bloodshed.

“She won't leave if Lucien needs her, she will help him until she’s no longer needed. Just like you would do for me, or Rhys would do for Feyre” Nesta said as she ran her hands up and down his arms to sooth her mate.

“I can’t just stand by and do nothing” he whispered as he laid his forehead against hers.

“What about your shadows boy? Do they have anything to report” Amren said, as she stared Azriel down.

He winced at the mere reminder of the disappointment he had felt whenever a few of them had returned from a court, an island or even the continent without any news of you. Maybe it had just been an insanely realistic dream, maybe it wasn’t a sign from the mother.

Maybe you just didn’t exist. The mere thought brought tears to his eyes and he felt his chest retracting. No you were real. He knew you were.

“So far nothing to report, they can’t find her…” He said as a tear escaped his eye. He didn’t even whisk it away, he just let them fall silently.

“Can I show the rest the dream? They might pick up on something that we didn’t? That way you wont have to explain it further…” Rhysand said as he sat in front of Azriel. He nodded at the request and tried sending a smile his way to express the gratitude.

The inner circle nodded as they braced themselves, just a second before your dream flashed before their eyes.

Amren felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest as she felt the sorrow that Azriel had felt as you disappeared before him.

Feyra felt that familiar feel of the bond that had snapped in his chest when you had pulled him into your arms at the ball.

Morrigan however focused on everything besides the emotions that he had felt. She focused on the details in your dress. The silver threads, the beading, so familiar, but somehow still out of reach. But as you had prepared to spare with the Spymaster, a necklace caught her eye. The diamond was beautiful, a color so dark it almost stole all the light around it.

It was familiar to her. But for some reason she couldn’t place where she had seen it before. It was a distant memory, one from long ago. So instead of giving Azriel hope, she chose to only disclose this information to her cousin.

He took her information and tucked it neatly away. The two of them would go over every memory of Mor’s mind until you found out where or who that necklace belonged to.

Elaine left your room and met her mate outside in the hall. He was with her in a second. Holding her close. Her eyes had that same sparkle as whenever she had a vision. She had seen something, Lucien only hoped that it was good news.

“What did you see, my flower?” he whispered as he kissed her temple. She breathed him in, grounding herself in the reality she now found herself to be in.

“It wasn’t a vision, whatever that dream was, it’s not something that will take place in the future. It’s almost like it was its own world, its own reality.” She shook her head. “It was terrible Lucien, the loss she feels, it’s heartbreaking”

He pulled her into his chest as she sobbed at the mere thought of losing that thread herself.

“The future's not set in stone yet, she might find him, she might not. Whatever needs to happen for that to manifest, it hasn’t happened yet. All we can do is wait, wait and help her”

The mated pair heard a chair fly through the room as Helion had thrown it against one of the walls. It shattered at impact. The highlord of day fell to his knees, and he broke down into a sobbing mess. Just as he had when he had found you on his doorstep all those centuries ago.

Here you were, just as weak as you had been that day. But he was powerless, there was nothing he could do to protect you.

You laid in your bed, and looked out on the dark sky of the night. It was beautiful, and it almost felt like the darkness was calling out to you.

Despite the cold stone beneath your feet you walked out onto the balcony. The wind caressed your skin, it cooled your inner fire that threatened to break free from where you had caged it up inside of you. It threatened to seep out destroy the world until it located him.

And just when you wanted to scream, curse the mother, the cauldron and all other gods for this hell they had put you in, you saw a flicker of darkness through the corner of your eye.

It almost looked like a thick smoke had come to life. It slithered towards you as a snake would do in the grass. It was hesitant, curious, but it also almost seemed afraid. You reached your arm out towards it, wanting to feel it, wanting to know what it was.

The shadow stood up, the movement was almost feline. It seemed to analyze you, looking you up and down, as if you would want to capture it and cause it harm if you got a hold on it.

But as your fingers came in touch with it, as you felt the soothing cold from it, the fire that had burned through you all day was calmed, and the previously shy shadow exploded with excitement.

It twirled around your fingers, up your wrist, around your arms, until it whirled around your neck, making your hair sway in the wind that it created. The feeling was soothing, and the ache dulled in your chest, as if it healed a small piece of your heart.

As the shadow calmed it came to rest around your ear. And just when you thought you had seen all it had to offer it whispered in your ear.

Ours, ours, ours… Our mate.

And as if the missing piece of a puzzle had been returned to you, it all clicked into place. His face, his name, even his smell had been hidden in the shadows he always surrounded himself with, and this time they had hidden him even from you as you had woken up.

You had always seen him at functions, hiding away in the corners of the room. His beauty was one that had always captivated you, but you had never dared to get close to him. You had left him alone, never realizing who he was to you.

Azriel Shadowsinger, the spymaster of the Night Court, was your mate.

“Let's return you to your master shall we?” The shadow danced in and out of your hair in delight, before slithering down your arm, and sinking into your skin, branding it with a shadow almost as if it claimed you.

You could only hope that he would claim you too.

#azriel x reader #azriel rec #currently reading #azriel x you #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fluff #acotar #acotar x reader #rhysand acotar #a court of thorns and roses #lucien vanserra #acomaf #acowar #elucien

137 notes · View notes

bestworstcase · 7 months

Text

the first thing. the very first thing we see salem do besides the non-diegetic bookend monologues. is tell off watts for being mean to cinder. “watts, do you find such malignance necessary?”

and it isn’t just a passing remark, salem makes a whole thing of it. “then i see no reason for your cruelty towards young cinder,” effusive praise and then she turns back to watts and says, “so, i’m curious, to what ‘failures’ are you referring?”

well, watts says, the girl with the silver eyes. even without her new power, it should have been effortless—

—and salem shuts that down hard. “it is because of the maiden’s power.” it’s not cinder’s fault. “make no mistake, cinder: you hold the key to our victory. but your newfound strength brings with it a crippling weakness, which is why you will remain by my side as we continue your treatment.”

then, after salem gives her orders, cinder asks about ruby. watts scoffs; what about her, she’s cinder’s problem, not ours. but: “tyrian? spring can wait. find the girl that did this to cinder, and bring her to me.”

and scene. that’s our first real glimpse of who salem is, and it lays the foundations for everything that develops from this point with salem and cinder.

before salem walks into the room it’s established that cinder is at the bottom of the pecking order. watts and tyrian gleefully pick on her; hazel doesn’t give a shit. and then salem enters and makes this deliberate, protracted point of not just “don’t be cruel to cinder” but she is at pains to demonstrate that cinder’s wellbeing is her first priority. salem is personally involved in treating her injuries. watts is taking over the haven operation so that cinder will have more time to heal. she pulls tyrian off the hunt for the spring maiden because cinder wants ruby dealt with, and salem again intends to deal with the matter herself.

“it’s important not to lose sight of what drives us: love. justice… reverence. but the moment you put your desires before my own, they will be lost to you. this isn’t a threat; this is simply the truth. the path to your desires is only found through me.”

but for cinder fall, spring can wait.

cinder has always been the exception to every rule. salem put what cinder wanted ahead of her own agenda. salem effectively postponed haven to do cinder a favor, without a second of hesitation. salem spent all of V4-5 focused on cinder and what cinder wanted.

her parting words before cinder leaves for haven are: “you will have the power i promised you when the time is right, but remember that it comes with a cost. if ruby rose has learned to harness her gift, you must take care to protect yours; there’s only so much i can do to aid you.”

<- “be careful.”

and then cinder is not careful. now consider this exchange:

SALEM: Emerald. I want you to tell me whose fault this was… Now. EMERALD: Ci-Cinder! We failed because of Cinder. SALEM: ……That’s right. I want you to understand that failure; I want you to understand why Cinder must be left to toil in her isolation until she redeems herself. MERCURY: You mean… EMERALD: She’s alive!? WATTS: You’re joking. How could you know that?

ok. really think about this.

salem is the only person in the room who knows cinder is alive. everybody else takes it as a given that she died at haven. “maybe cinder survived somehow?” is not a possibility on anybody’s radar.

emerald is on the brink of collapsing in abject grief because she believes cinder is dead. and then salem grabs her shoulder and is like “listen to me very closely, it is emotionally important to me that you understand why we will not be going to cinder’s aid. she MUST be left to TOIL ALONE. BY HERSELF. until she redeems herself. do you understand?”

and the entire inner circle is like excuse me

what do you mean cinder’s alive

how do you even know that

“NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.”

i just—hrgfjfk

“apropos of nothing, i am NOT sending you or cinder’s other little friend to her aid and i will NOT be altering my plans in any way to help her i am not going to lift a finger for her. until she redeems herself.”

the lady doth protest too much.

for cinder fall, spring can wait.

salem is projecting her own desire to rescue cinder from the haven mess onto emerald for the express purpose of shooting it down. watts asks how she could even know cinder survived and salem’s like >:( and changes the subject.

“it’s important not to lose sight of what drives us. love—”

she goes through her whole little spiel about not putting what they want before what she wants and then, with her back turned to all of them, she glances out the window and the mask just crumbles. her shoulders hunch. she is acutely unhappy. “and so we must… press on.”

this song and dance is not for them. it’s for her. it is half of an argument salem is having with herself.

“spring can wait; find the girl that did this to cinder, and bring her to me.” -> “but the moment you put your desires before my own, they will be lost to you.”

“you will have the power i promised you […] but remember that it comes with a cost. if ruby rose has learned to harness her gift, you must take care to protect yours; there is only so much i can do to aid you.” -> “the path to your desires is only found through me.”

✨salem✨ is the one who set the expectation that what cinder wanted took priority. salem told cinder to rely on herself first and salem second. she warned cinder repeatedly and explicitly that the power she promised to cinder would expose her to greater harm.

as far as salem knows, because watts certainly wouldn’t have painted a fair picture of why cinder made the choices she did, cinder didn’t heed that warning, fumbled haven, lost the lamp, and very nearly got herself killed in the process.

and salem wants to throw her a lifeline.

she doesn’t want to be wanting to throw cinder a lifeline but it is, obviously, a thought that crossed her mind often enough for her to feel the need to declare out loud that she is Not Going To Do It, No Matter How Much You Might Want Me To, Emerald.

“the sword under vacuo’s academy, shade—” and then hazel drops the bomb on her that ozma has the lamp and he’s taking it to atlas. watts and tyrian are rattled because oz might talk some sense into ironwood and spoil the plan. but salem?

salem isn’t thinking tactics or strategy. she is getting run over by the freight train of discovering she feels the same way about This Situation—cinder trying to get the lamp away from ozma alone—as she feels about her daughters.

and she cannot fucking do it.

cinder must be left to toil in her isolation until she redeems herself (by recovering the lamp) -> what do you mean oz has the lamp -> never mind we’re all going to atlas right the fuck now. cinder can toil in isolation with the covert support of salem’s most formidable pair of agents while salem churns out a zillion grimm over the course of a few months ITS FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE.

“she thinks; she wants. as if she’s done something to warrant me caring about either of those things.” i don’t care, she says, caringly.

but:

“your newfound strength brings with it a crippling weakness, which is why you will remain at my side while we continue your treatment.” -> “you will have the power i promised you when the time is right, but remember that it comes with a cost. if ruby rose has learned to harness her gift, you must take care to protect yours. there’s only so much i can do to aid you.” -> “i would like to think i’ve shown a great deal of patience during my many years walking remnant, but i do hate repeating myself. you will remain here. is that clear?”

it isn’t that she’s punishing cinder for the failure at haven.

cinder comes home from beacon maimed, salem keeps her at evernight for months and replaces the arm she lost with a grimm (<- symbolically, she gives cinder part of herself; the arm ties them together and that goes both ways, salem knows she’s alive and cinder knows when she’s back; she makes cinder like herself). waits as long as she reasonably can before sending her to haven, with parting words that amount to be careful, i won’t be there to save you.

cinder gets clobbered at haven and barely survives, salem is at war with herself over it when hazel blindsides her with the bad news that ozma has the lamp and she panics.

salem drops everything to rush to atlas with overwhelming force and arrives to find cinder waiting for her not only in one piece but also in possession of the lamp; her eyes go fucking glossy for a second as an enormous amount of tension just melts away. and salem like? teases her? about her habit of bringing home strays. “hm! you certainly do like collecting assets,” fondly indulgent. oh you. like genuinely is is the one and only time salem has ever sounded like she’s having fun.

…then cinder reveals that she tried for the staff, too, but the polendina girl “interfered” and became the winter maiden instead. (salem isn’t stupid she knows this is cinder-speak for “a girl who could beat me without magic is the winter maiden now.”) and cinder wants to turn right around and hunt her down? NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. YOU ARE STAYING HERE.

the hammer drops because salem is scared. she resorts to cruelty in a desperate stab at clawing herself back from the ledge of Caring About Cinder; but salem is so, so, so painfully cognizant all the time of how mortal cinder is. she sent cinder to beacon and cinder came home missing her eye and half an arm. she sent cinder to haven and cinder almost didn’t come back at all, it’s a miracle she survived. and salem brought an incomprehensible number of grimm to atlas specifically to avoid round three of feeling terrified while cinder crawls through a meat grinder for her. and now cinders like BUT I WANT TO CRAWL THROUGH THE MEAT GRINDER!

“remember that [power] comes with a cost; if ruby rose has learned to harness her gift, you must take care to protect yours. there’s only so much i can do to aid you” -> “everything is already in motion; all you need to concern yourself with is your ability to act when i tell you to.”

she doesn’t have the nerve to say it or maybe she just doesn’t know how but she is trying to pull cinder out of the line of fire. this is not your game to win (this is not your fight) and just because you’re more valuable to me than a pawn (you are not just a pawn to me) and everything is already in motion (i will take care of it this time) and all you need to concern yourself with is your ability to act when i tell you (don’t worry just let me handle it).

if she can crack down and keep cinder under control with cruelty and intimidation then she doesn’t have to confront the feelings driving her decisions, but of course she can’t because she never had control over cinder in the first place; cinder is legitimately stunned when salem shuts her down in 8.1 because Salem Does Not Treat Her Like That.

so naturally cinder goes: well fuck you i do what i want.

and almost fucking dies.

again.

they hit amity in the middle of the night. it’s dawn in vacuo during the broadcast, vacuo is six hours ahead of atlas (2.3). cinder does not wake up until dawn. she is unconscious for six hours. six. hours. in a world where aura can fully heal a thoracic impalement in about fifteen minutes.

think about how badly cinder had to have been hurt for emerald—who loves cinder and is terrified of salem—to bring cinder back to the whale after they did exactly what salem directly ordered cinder not to do. think about the level of desperation necessary for emerald of all people to weigh the risk of salem’s fury against the severity of cinder’s injuries and decide she had to bring cinder to salem.

“you chose to disobey my specific instructions, just to fail again. and… i’ve realized it’s all my fault. you’ve fought your whole life unwaveringly for what you want, and here i am holding you back, instead of lifting you up. you deserve so much more than i’ve given you.”

<- that is the sound of salem falling off the ledge.

as a manipulative tactic to get cinder under her thumb this is, quite plainly, not going to work, and cinder sees right through it, and salem knows that. by literally ✨rewarding✨ open defiance she accomplishes nothing except proving to cinder that when the chips are down, salem will blink first.

but.

salem is not about getting cinder under her thumb. she wants the relics and she’s also been losing her gods-damned mind for months now because every time cinder leaves her sight for an extended period of time cinder has gotten smushed like a bug and the legion of grimm did not even slightly improve the situation. and the only way salem can think of to thread the needle between having her cake and eating it too is to go REBELLION IS OKAY. LET’S TRY THE BUDDY SYSTEM.

the minute salem reconstitutes, she beelines to where cinder is. pretends not to notice cinder’s bald-faced lies. “you did well” and “our work here is done” and not interrupting and making a point to demonstrate that she listened to what cinder told her (“you said they used the staff; i assume you rid the world of their creation.”) and asking carefully non-threatening follow up questions (“what did you create?” as opposed to, like, what happened to watts).

salem isn’t trying to put cinder on a leash. she’s twisting herself into knots in search of a way to move forward with her actual agenda without getting cinder killed, and her increasing desperation to keep cinder alive is not primarily motivated by strategic calculation; it’s emotional.

her establishing character moment is salem Making a Statement to her own inner circle that cinder is more important than the plan. she says she’s going to leave cinder to ~toil in isolation~ and sticks to it for all of, like, two minutes before she finds out it would mean abandoning cinder to face ozma alone and just shatters. she is visibly relieved when cinder surprises her with the lamp and proceeds to make “you will not go hunting a girl who can definitely maul you” her hill to die on until cinder tries to actually die on it, whereupon salem snaps like a stretched rubber band back to “you can do whatever the hell you want just please for the love of fuck slow down and let me bend the odds as much in your favor as i can.” this woman is immortal and cinder is still shaving years off her lifespan.

and this is going to keep happening until she can get her act together and say outright that she Cares About Cinder, because to cinder all of this just looks like salem yanking a leash to remind cinder she’s worthless. the second beacon arc is going to be hysterical.

#everything salem does is so intensely personal #and so circumscribed by fear of rejection

187 notes · View notes

notroosterbradshaw · 2 years

Text

Girl Under You [g.u.y]

Rooster being ridiculously hot/complicated. fwb. the usual warnings, friends - smut, angst, fluff, angst, smut, angst, language. 18+. 7.2k words.

“i just want it to be hot, because i’m best when i’m in love and i’m in love with you”.

But you’re not in love with him. It’s just the things he can do to your body, and the way he talks, or how he flits in and out of your life with no chance of any kind of commitment --

Vice Admiral Simpson stood before you, the usual lack of humour gracing his handsome features as he waited for your attention.

“Sir,” you acknowledged, looking up from his calendar on the screen before you, a surprising marking of private meetings popping up from the office of Rear Admiral Bates.

“The boarding list for the detachment that arrives tonight,” he dropped a file on your desk.

“Absolutely, sir. Your calendar has filled up quickly this afternoon,” you noted, casting an eye over the names.

He nodded solemnly. “I’m expecting Captain Pete Mitchell imminently. Please send him in when he arrives. Time is short, it’s imperative he’s up to scratch with this mission at the earliest.”

“Yes, sir. I received an email from Commander Kazansky suggesting the same thing…” You raised an eyebrow as he sighed.

“Thank you.” He stalked his way to his office, closing the door quietly.

The list. Some you knew, some you didn’t. One that haunted your days and nights.

Lt. Bradley Bradshaw.

To you, he was perfect. Wavy, dirty blonde dark hair, a smattering of freckles across his strong nose, and deep hazel eyes, that if the sun hit them just right, glittered like honey. Body by the Gods. Hell, when he smirked, even the moustache was tolerable. You weren't sure if it were a burden or a curse that he had been recalled back to North Island.

It had always been pretty casual between you. He’d been back and forth over the years, and you fell into an easy maybe-friends-with-benefits-type-relationship that would most likely get you, or both of you, fired if anyone found out. But that’s what made it so good – that it was only you and him and whatever the mess was –

“Simpson, huh? How’d you get so lucky?” the captain before you said in a quiet tease, snapping you back to reality from your daydream.

“Well, with Commander Kazansky retiring…” You motioned Maverick to shush, hoping not to rouse the admirals on the other side of the door as he nodded solemnly. “Have you heard from him? Is it back again?” You’d reached your own conclusions about your former boss’ cancer diagnosis returning a while back, but never dared ask and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.

Mav shrugged gently. “You know better than me, kid.”

“How are you, Mav?” you asked informally… just how Maverick preferred it.

He smiled. “Not bad for an old guy.”

You bit back a grin, the moment passing, recalling the urgency on the other side of the door. “Just a hint, Captain Mitchell? Vice Admiral Simpson prefers you earlier.” You winked, getting up from your desk and knocking on the door of his office.

“I’m right on time,” he defended himself.

“Yes, you are certainly late, sir,” you reiterated, hoping he’d catch your drift.

“Send him in,” Simpson’s voice muttered behind the door.

“Send him in,” you said to Maverick, opening the door and stepping aside. “Warlock is already in there,” you told him knowingly as Maverick gave a slight nod and you closed the door after him.

His reputation may have preceded him, but his attitude and appearance did not alarm you. You’d heard Simpson storm about Maverick returning to Top Gun over the last 24 hours and was silenced when Ice had emailed in no uncertain terms: enough.

Maverick was back to instruct the return of the best of the best. Some you knew (Bradshaw, Seresin, Trace) and a few others whose names you’d heard in passing, maybe you’d met them while they had trained there in the past.

They were all the same. Mostly harmless, but egos were all completely out of check. No modesty for any of them - they knew they were good. And if you were really lucky, your phone would be ringing about 11pm tonight from the best. You rubbed your thighs together in eager anticipation.

While you expected your phone to ring, Rooster Bradshaw turned out to be anything but predictable. Knowing he was back, you’d avoided The Hard Deck that night for good reason. He’d roll in, God of sexual desire, Son of Aphrodite, with his familiar wet smirk, stupid fucking aviators and his body even more impressive than before. A trail of women would instantly take note that he’d arrived - and as far as they were concerned - fair game. That was probably where he was, balls deep in some easy lay.

You were supposed to be the easy lay though, you thought petulantly, kicking your feet. That was the deal. You don’t hear from him when he’s away, he wasn’t stationed locally, and he owed you absolutely nothing. But those nights you shared a bed? He found ways to make you feel so fucking good.

You knew you weren’t the only one that he probably made feel this way, but Rooster Bradshaw had a wonderful knack for making you believe that in the moments you shared, it was only you.

Like you could love him - and he could love you back.

You hated that you often found yourself lost fantasising about him and wondered if he did the same of you. Recalling those moments when he’d make you cum so hard that your eyes rolled back in your head and your name was often forgotten. It was exactly how he liked it. He’d kiss you and give an ETA on how long he was sticking around and how long that would include turning your world upside down as it should be right now.

But you already knew the training scheduled for the next three weeks before deployment was brutal, one of the most tightly orchestrated detachments you’d seen pass through in a long time, which also meant there was potential for an awful lot of his body and finding new and exciting ways to cover hickeys, bruises and swollen lips.

“So, where the fuck are you, Bradshaw?” you muttered, tossing and turning insolently in your bed, only making the sticky room hotter. You finally turned your phone on silent and forced yourself into a restless sleep in the hope that tomorrow was a better day and Rooster came to his goddamn senses.

You felt his presence before you saw him. At 6’1” and a mountain of muscle in your peripheral, his flight suit wrapped around his waist, the light stale stench of sweat invading your nostrils, Rooster’s large palms rested on your desk as he leaned over, inspecting you.

“I imagine you’re next to get chewed out,” you said barely above a whisper, rejecting - no, positively refusing to look at him, instead focusing on the screen before you.

“By you or…” He had the audacity to tease.

“Breaking the hard deck, insubordination,” you raffled off. “All class. Seems you’ve had quite the first day in the air, Lieutenant,” you sneered at his title, and he licked his lips, wholly amused by the power struggle in the small office.

“News travels fast.”

“These walls are paper thin,” you muttered, forcing yourself to type something, anything, to look busier than you let on. Tapping the keys, a jumble of letters bobbled in front of you. Utter nonsense. “Take a seat. Vice Admiral Simpson will be with you when he’s ready.”

“Maverick still in there?”

“No.”

“Didn’t see you at Penny’s last night. Thought you’d be there,” his voice dropped.

“Sorry to inform you, but I don’t fraternise,” you replied, tone bored. He saw right through it.

“With whom?” You could hear the humour laced in his rasp, and you could throttle him. He dared you to respond.

Looking at him pointedly, and for the first time since he’d crashed back into your life, you replied, “Naval aviators.” He was bulkier than you remembered, curly tendrils drenched, droplets of sweat dripping from his Adam’s Apple to the collar of his black undershirt that could barely contain his rippling chest and biceps.

Blinking slowly, he hummed. “Okay...”

Simpson’s door opened, and Rooster shot to his feet. “Get in here, Lieutenant. You’d better have a very good explanation for your determination to get yourself kicked out on day one.”

“Yessir,” he replied. It felt nice to watch Rooster brought down to earth so quickly. Simpson gave you a small frown and asked why you were still there but you had no excuses. You knew once Maverick was summoned, Rooster likely would be too and your suspicions proved correct.

It was a lie to say you weren’t desperate to see Rooster. See if he’d changed, see if he still wore that same cologne. If his voice was still as gravelly. Sadly, he was still perfectly the same with the addition of stronger muscles - and more arrogance.

“Leaving shortly, sir.”

“I should expect so. Enjoy your night,” he said, quietly going back into this office and closing the door after him and you gasped because you felt as if you hadn’t taken a breath since Rooster had walked in and your chest ached for it.

“This is Bob and Coyote,” Phoenix introduced you to her detachment team, including a shy blonde in BCG’s and as well as Coyote, if his leering grin was anything to go by. Well, they certainly weren’t an unattractive group, you noted. You gave a polite wave in greeting as Phoenix explained who you were. “And you probably know Bagman.”

You sadly remembered Bagm- Jake Seresin. He was in the same graduating class as Rooster all those years ago.

“Hangman,” he corrected Phoenix without so much as a blink, he was used to her torture. A bit of a masochist, you imagined he enjoyed her getting riled up because of him. “You used to be Iceman’s assistant,” Hangman filled in the gaps.

“Used to be.” You nodded and sipped your beer.

“How you findin’ Cyclone?”

“By name and nature,” you admitted. “Direct, but not a bad guy.”

“Have you always been based out here?” Coyote asked, offering his palm. “Because honestly? I’d remember you,” he dared try as you laughed quietly, shaking his hand. They were all the same and it wasn’t offensive because you knew as well as they did that it would go no further than a cheeky flirt…in most instances.

“Actually, Coyote…” Hangman spoke up. “If I recall… didn’t you used to fuck around with Rooster back in the day?” he asked, pointing his bottle towards you, his green eyes dancing with mirth. He knew exactly who you were. Warning bells screamed in your ears as you tried to remain steady. “I can swear I remember you two toying around when we were here last,” he paused for dramatic effect. “Top Gun’s worst kept secret, we called you.”

Coyote looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I think you’re mistaken,” you muttered in warning as Hangman grinned and you regretted biting back instantly. You could swear you just gave him enough ammo to get through the next few weeks of training to make Rooster’s life miserable.

“Knock it off,” Phoenix warned as he and Coyote wandered away, sharing a quiet joke together.

“Whatcha think I just cost Rooster?” you asked Phoenix quietly. She sighed and shrugged.

“They’re already at each other’s throats and it’s only day one.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” you sipped your beer and turned your head to Bob. He looked up, a small look of surprise gracing his fair features at your sudden attention. “Robert Floyd, how are you enjoying flying with the beautiful Phoenix here?”

“Best partner a guy could ask for,” he said sweetly. You grinned with Phoenix; you reckoned you liked Bob Floyd and his BCGs.

Body aching in all the right places, your fingertips danced through the peaks and ridges of Rooster’s chest later that evening because, at 11:30 pm, he retained his expectedness and could be found knocking at your front door, all big puppy dog eyes and a barely-there smile.

“You lost?” you asked, sarcasm evident in your voice as you glanced at your watch, ignoring the rising pulse rate on its face. Piece of shit. He shook his head.

“No,” his lip quirked at your attitude. “Right on time actually.”

“If you say so.”

“I’m nothing, if not prompt.”

You rolled your eyes. He looked divine. Smelled divine. Sounded like church bells. Fuck him, he was a professional at wrecking your senses.

“I expected to see you last night,” he continued, not daring to step over the threshold without your permission.

“You saw me at work.”

“At the bar,” he corrected himself.

“I told you, I don’t fraternise, Rooster,” you reiterated evenly.

“You were there tonight, Phoenix told me,” he hummed in disapproval. “No. You avoided me,” he decided, crossing his arms over his strong chest. He lived to fucking tease you although there was no malice behind his tone. “You expected me to make the move.”

“I have the accommodation off base, you dork,” you reminded him somewhat affectionately, clutching his bicep and dragging him by surprise to you, slamming the door after him.

“Resistance is high with you, huh? Fucking futile,” he rolled his eyes, playfully and you swore at that moment, you hated him. He huffed a laugh. “Miss me?” he dared ask, hustling into your space.

“Stop running your mouth and take off your pants,” you insisted, slipping your night tee over your head eagerly.

“Not wasting any time, I see?” he noted the urgency in your movements, his eyes roaming over your body, antsy at how delicious it looked, as he kicked off his boots and unbuckled his jeans. His calloused hands roughly caught you by the jaw and pulled your lips to his, a kiss that was months in the making. You missed the taste of his tongue, tonight laced with the trace of whiskey. “You didn’t wait for me to leave Cyclone’s office,” he accused as he watched you forcefully push down the waist of his jeans. He was hard, so hard, you were hot and bothered, so it would be quick and decisively obscene.

“Did you want a fucking welcome wagon?” you asked, voice dripping with childish sarcasm.

“You and that slick mouth,” he muttered, and he kissed you to shut you up.

You pulled away quick enough to whip the snug cotton tee over his head and drag your nails down his abs, the scratches on his torso likely to cause a ruckus in the locker room tomorrow. He stood before you in his boxer briefs, you in your bra and undies and goodness knows that didn’t suit either of you.

“What kind of bra is this?” he frowned as you slipped the crop off for him and tossed it away. “Oh,” he breathed and licked his lower lip. “Thank you,” he took the new skin he’d missed and kissed you again, his hands roaming freely. You’d barely made it a few feet from the front door, and he’d pushed you onto the nearest surface (entryway table), rolling his hips into yours needing the friction for relief. “Baby, you look good,” he murmured, his lips peppering kisses across your décolletage and sending a frenzy of goose pimples across your skin, grinding into you as you lost your fingers with the short wisps of freshly cropped hair at the nape of his thick neck. “So fucking good.”

By now, you’d be begging to go down on him, taste him, and he’d wrap his arms behind his head, pleased as punch, ready and willing, but right now, all you could recall was how good he felt inside you and how immediate that needed to be.

Your feet not touching the ground, he secured you against him with his strong legs planted firmly. He kissed you as he swept your undies to the side. His long fingers skimmed between your slick folds, and he exhaled.

“Touch me, don’t be sweet,” you begged, frantic to feel friction, eager for him to fill you. You didn’t tend to sleep around. And without Rooster away, you just didn’t find anyone that could command your presence as he could. His body, intelligence (and at times, his absolute lack of it), ego, his perpetual broken heart and baggage… his humour, creativity, beauty and unexpected sensitivity. You supposed on several occasions you were in love with him, he had a knack for bringing you the pleasure that made your serotonin rocket to levels no one else could emulate. And in those moments, after you’d both come and giggled in the revelry of the afterglow, he’d take your hand in his, kiss your forehead, tell you everything you’d missed and expected the same stories to be shared in return as you’d trace the constellations of freckles on his cheeks and rest your head against his wildly beating heart.

He slipped his long fingers under the seams of your underwear and watched you as he discarded them before pausing to remove his boxers, making sure you were watching his every movement. And dear God, how you were.

Adjusting himself at your entrance, neither of you was in the mood to talk about what you’d been up to lately. “Fuck me, for Christ’s sake, Rooster,” you urged him, unkinder than intended as he fisted himself in his palm and slowly pushed into you, bottoming out and he breathed, resting his forehead in your hair.

“Fuck,” he breathed, stilling perfectly. “You feel un-fuckin’-believable. You’re so wet. Christ.”

Forcing your face to him, he kissed you wildly as he began a ruthless assault on your senses, thrusting his cock deep inside as you ran your fingers through his mass of unruly curls, giving them a light tug in encouragement. “I’ve been waiting for you. I thought you’d forgotten about me,” you confided in a whisper.

Groaning as he thrust in, long and slow. “How could I forget this? Your body was made for me. No one else makes me feel this good,” he muttered, and it felt like you couldn’t believe your ears.

You chewed your lip to mute the sounds you couldn’t control as he stared into your eyes, one deep drag after another. Distracting yourself from his gaze, you sucked into his jaw, nuzzling his pulse and he quivered, his head lolling to enjoy it, hips slowing almost to a stop. “You feel so good,” you told him. He loved any kind of encouragement and he kissed you quickly.

“I missed you,” he mumbled, almost drunk and you’d only just started.

The headiness wasn’t new, but it was more dizzying than usual. You’d craved him so much – not just like this, but the way he held you, teased you, knew where to touch and taunt you, and kissed you but you knew, this just wasn’t what friends did.

Over the years, you’d grown to know each other so intimately. You knew he loved having his hair pulled and his pulse kissed, you knew his birthday and knew his sweet tooth was out of this world. He knew that if he pressed into your belly just hard enough, you’d cum for days, the kinds of jokes so dirty that would make you laugh so hard. He knew about your family and how much he’d like them if they’d ever met.

His hips slamming brought you back to him as he gripped your jaw and commanded you to look at him sternly, the muscles of his abs rippling in the movement of his waist.

His body was born from the gods and he was made to be a lover… certainly not a fighter.

He was crumbling before you and reminded you how well he knew you when you said you were close. “I need to feel it,” he begged, stepping closer to kiss you, his hips rolling into yours and the sounds between your bodies indecent. “Lemme kiss you,” he said sweetly, a finger tracing between your ribs, around your belly button and opening you to him. He prodded at your pained clit, forgotten in all the madness, and desperate for attention. A little friction was all it took while he kissed your cries away, muffled against his mouth and he almost gave out, the pull of your orgasm ripping his from him as he fucked you hard and fast, gasping as you pulsated around him, and he grunted low as he came, hard and hot inside you.

“Oh, my God,” you panted against his mouth as he kissed you, frenzied. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, sweetheart. Fuck, I missed you.”

“No one makes me feel like this,” you said as he stared into your eyes, still deep inside you, the proof of your lovemaking seeping from you both. Sweat, tears, cum. He kissed your cheekbones, your eyelids, nose and lips again, hand delicately catching your neck.

“No one,” he agreed, his thumbs drying the tears on your cheeks you didn’t even know you’d been weeping. “You okay?” he asked with a soft grin. “Was that what you needed?”

Giggling gently, you held his wrists. “I didn’t know I was so desperate.”

“Can I tell you something?” he asked quietly, reaching for his boxers just within his reach and placing them between you to catch the slick that threatened to spill, tidying you before himself.

“A true gentleman,” you playfully rolled your eyes, knowing the table was going to need a thorough sanitisation. “Tell me what?”

“That was exactly what I needed too,” he admitted, pulling you to him and you rested your forehead on his clavicle. He stroked your back and kissed your hair.

“Can you stay?” you hoped it didn’t sound as pleading as it felt.

“All night,” he vowed.

“Hangman made a comment last night at the bar,” you told Rooster, warm against him, your fingers drifting against the soft skin of his ribs. You’d found your way to the bedroom and fucked desperately a few more times. You didn’t know how long “all night” was equated to before he had to leave, and you weren’t looking forward to a cold bed again.

“The fuck he say to you?” Rooster asked harsher than you expected. You could feel him resist under you, his body taut and strong, the hand caressing your shoulder blades now balled into a fist, tensing and flexing in agitation.

“Just a comment about you and me the last time you were both here.”

“Continue.”

“About how we used to fuck around.”

He scoffed. “Jokes on him; we’ve been fucking around for years.”

So fucking tragic, you thought. “He doesn’t need to know that though.”

“No one does,” you traced the ridges of his abs, his belly button, happy trail. “What if…”

“What if what?” his tone slightly clipped and unfamiliar.

“If it gets out, I’ll be sent home regardless,” you told him, and he remained silent. “But I know you love what you do. You can’t afford to lose it,” you looked up at him. “Is that why – ”

“- Why I never gave in and made this real?” he interjected.

“Yes,” you rolled over and moved to sit on his tummy, naked and very exposed as he licked his lips, his calloused palms drifting up your sides and gripping your ribs, thumbs dragging against the soft skin of your breast. He watched you, breathing deeply to compose himself. You were strong and bold above him and made him kind of wild. He reached up to bring a strained nipple to his mouth, keeping his eyes on you as the goose pimples exploded across your body and you shuddered. He smiled and eased back, proud of his work.

“Beautiful.”

You pressed your palms into his chest, his heart beating in your touch, pining him back down. “Rooster, this is just a job. I can get one anywhere. You can’t exactly fall into another job after flying planes for the rest of your life,” you frowned as he gave you a small smile. Well, yes, he could. But it would be better if he didn’t do it with a dishonourable discharge. “With the Navy,” you clarified as he laughed quietly and nodded in understanding.

He brushed your hair back, his large palms sliding down your shoulder, your arm and he took your hand. Kissing your knuckles, he stares intently at you. “I would never ask you to do that for me.”

“And what if that is what I wanted?”

Frowning, he sighed, quiet for a while but you weren’t going anywhere. “Baby… I gotta go. Early start,” he gently pushed you off him and started to get up, as you fell onto the pillows, pulling the sheets up, so humiliated as he started to collect his gear and dress again. You had so many things to say but had lost the ability to speak.

So, this is all it is? I say I’ll give up everything and you reject me, you realised. It felt absolutely brutal.

“I need you to understand,” Rooster said, back in his jeans and turning to face you and keeping his wide berth. “I feel it too, I just…” he sighed, brushing a hand through his wild curls, the words failing him. “If you leave your job and everything here to be with me, I will still keep leaving you,” he said softly.

“I’m not the one that seeks you out, Bradley,” you reminded him, gently. “Tell me this is just sex, and I’ll believe you and get over it. But you need to convince yourself that’s all it is too. We aren’t supposed to do this. You know you’re a bit of a stickler for the rules, so after all these years, you’re still turning up at the time I expect you to. And I know this can’t possibly be all me feeling this is more than it is. But if it is… maybe this has to stop, because it kind of hurts each time you leave.”

He stayed silent, knowing he had to choose his words carefully but you really weren’t sure how else he could try and make you feel better. Neither was he. “I…” he shut his mouth again, tracing his lips with his wet tongue. “I don’t want you to pin all your hopes and dreams on me and I might not come home,” he said quietly. “Trust me when I say this, and please don’t be hurt. I don’t see anyone else, baby…” he admitted, rubbing the taut traps, stressed and tight. “You know I fuck around, but I keep my relationships straightforward.”

“Then why does it feel like the lines are completely blurred for us?”

He didn’t have an answer, because he knew you were right.

Rolling away from him, you replied, “Well, I guess that’s that, Rooster.”

He didn’t respond for a long time. The air in the humid room was stifling. “Please don’t leave it like this,” he said finally.

“I can’t take back what I said,” you quietly reminded him, the tears threatening to spill. You were trying so hard not to fall apart while still in his company. “And neither can you.”

He rubbed his tired face, memorising the curve from your shoulder to your hips and left, not much else left to say as your tears spilled freely with the sound of the front door closing.

Ice: Tell him. Tell him before it’s too late.

You did tell him. You did tell Rooster, you wanted to scream. But Ice was wrong.

You’d read the text countless times in the last week. Ice had gotten quite good at texting the last few years, for reasons some found comical, for some (like you) who knew the truth, it was the way he could communicate without too much discomfort.

Hearing a knock a few hours later, you really didn’t want to see anyone. Simpson had suggested you could leave early and you took the opportunity, knowing Rooster was on base and avoiding him would be easier if you simply weren’t there, only for him to text later about an incident involving Bob and Phoenix that he “thought you should know about”. You hadn’t replied. What good would it have done anyway? They were okay, but probably terribly shaken up. You’d have known by now if they had…

But your poor heart had taken enough of a beating the last few weeks, you were at wit’s end and the cavalcade of bullshit that swamped you was just too much. This was peak misery and you had no idea what to do with yourself because of it. The red wine in your palm was doing very little to numb it.

…Ice succumbed to his illness today.

Your friend, Phoenix, had beat death with Bob…

And you were without Rooster. Probably the only person in the world that would understand any of it.

Wandering to the door in your tights and oversized Navy tee, you were and weren’t surprised to see him standing before you. He stepped in to hold you without question and every tear that you'd bitten back to that moment just erupted. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn't speak, and all Rooster could do was hold you, restrain you, protect you.

“It’s okay, I got you,” he whispered sweet nothings in your ear, rubbing circles on your back. “I’m here.”

He’d never seen you like this. Never known you to grieve; it broke his heart that you were going through this. You’d worked closely with Ice for many years, and he’d known him since he was a babe in arms. Ice had been there for him all his life.

“Are Nat and Bob okay?” you demanded, barely able to get the words out through sobs.

“They’re okay,” he said. “They will stay in hospital tonight, but they will be fine,” he tried to reassure you. “They wanted to know that you were okay, you know… because of Ice.”

“I just can’t believe he’s gone.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know it hurts,” he said into your hair. It felt so good to be in his arms, all things considered. “It’s okay,” he said softly.

Laughing in spite of yourself, you replied, “No, nothing is okay, Bradley.”

He sighed and didn’t answer, he just held you tighter.

“You have to go,” you told him gently, but didn’t pull away.

“Please don’t make me – ” he protested.

“Please,” you cut in quietly.

“I don’t want you to be alone,” he tried.

“I need to be. For me,” you told him, pushing him back to arm’s length. “I’m sorry, Rooster,” you took a step back as he reached for you again. You held your hands up, telling him not to try and touch you again. “Please, you’ve got other things to focus on right now,” you quietly reminded him. He needed to see reason too.

He pursed his lips together. “Everything else can wait.”

“I’m not an idiot. I know you’re here for a reason, Rooster. The whole team is. It’s bigger than all of you and I can’t distract you from it.”

While he knew you were told only what you needed to hear, you would have no idea that he was probably on a one-way ticket to his grave, this mission, unlike anything he’d ever prepared for before. He didn’t need to burden you with that; he felt lucky he didn’t have to burden anyone with that. He sighed. “You’re right. I need my focus,” he swallowed, but thankfully remained silent. Something was on his mind, but he remained quiet, gave a gentle wave and left you again.

Rubbing your face and looking at the wine bottle, it only seemed fair to drown your sorrows. It wouldn’t hurt to not hurt for a night.

Standing respectfully with your work associates a few days later, you said your final goodbyes to Ice and as he watched you from across the field, you said your goodbyes to Rooster too. He looked so empty, staring back at you in his dress blues. He didn’t keep his eyes from you and behind your sunglasses, it would be a lie to say you couldn’t keep your eyes off him either. It made everything just that little bit more devastating.

You didn’t talk after the procession. The squad was due back on base and you had taken the rest of the day to go to attend the wake and pass along your condolences to Ice’s dear wife, Sarah, and their family, in person.

Natasha gave you a simple wave as she followed them out solemnly. You waved back and that was that.

“I wasn’t going to come, but it all happened so much faster than we expected. We ship out before sunrise. The mission parameters have changed and brought forward a week,” Rooster spat out quietly at your doorstep in his dress whites, this new information unbeknownst to you. He held his cover under his arm. You didn't know what had changed from the time you left work to now for such a drastic escalation, but you didn’t know much about this mission aside from small bits and bobs of its urgency.

You sighed and reached for him, and he collapsed into your arms. For all the posturing and ego, Rooster was simply Bradley Bradshaw. And sometimes he got scared too. Just like you were for him. He let you hold him, cradling his face as you kissed his hair. “Come inside,” you reached for his palm and led him into the apartment. You knew he had no one else and if just for those few moments, you know you were strong enough to try and give him any kind of hope he needed and deserved.

It starts innocently enough as you reach to kiss him. Rooster was understandably confused; he didn’t think you wanted this anymore after he’d hurt you so badly. He doesn’t kiss you back immediately, his eyes wide but it doesn’t take him long to meld his lips with yours and you know he’s more than a willing participant as he sinks frenziedly into the kiss. You start on the buttons of his jacket and slip it off his shoulders, knowing it couldn’t be treated with the same disrespect your clothes usually were in these circumstances, so you fold it gently over your arm and start on his shirt.

It was the only thing that felt right.

“You said you couldn’t do this anymore,” he muttered, bewildered.

Holding his face, you told him, “Bradley… I’m always going to want this.”

“I know I hurt you,” his eyes soft, his voice softer. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Dragging your fingers down his chest, you lead him by the mouth to your bedroom and he made a sound in his throat that you’re not sure if it’s a moan of pleasure or pain, but you refused to break it as you move your hands for his belt buckle and ease down the zip. He was hard in your soft touch.

“And I forgive you. This isn’t about that, Rooster,” you pushed the waist of his slacks to his knees as he kicked away his boots, your arms filled with his whites. He watched you place his uniform delicate with care on the chair near your window and come back to him as your fingers slid into his waves, mussing them. “Let me take care of you. Show you that you have something good to come home to.”

He nodded and breathed a simple yes, frantic for you.

“This is not just about you, it never was,” you told him, easing him back on the soft mattress and he crashed back willingly. “I love you, you don’t have to say it back, Bradley. But I love you and that’s all I can say.”

Smiling faintly, you tried to ignore the tears in his eyes and wondered how long it’s been since someone has said that to him. He overwhelmed you as he wrapped every fibre of his being around you and you held him tighter.

“I love you,” you whispered and you begged him to believe it as he kissed you, pouring all the emotion he felt into it.

“God, I fucking love you,” he finally confided out loud for the first time. “I’m sorry I’ve never shown it the way you deserved. You’re the best person I know,” he pressed wild kisses into your skin. “No more games.”

“No more games,” you promised. “So, you have to come home to show me.”

He nodded. “I’ll show you every day. Somehow.” He swallowed as you kissed him, the most beautiful smile he’d seen in his life gracing your features as his sorrow faded. “Please let me show you how I feel,” he begged, and you nodded as he hitched you into his arms. “Touch me, don’t be shy,” he demanded. “Tell me you need me,” his messy lips said, sweeping kisses across your face as he sat on the bed, falling back with you sitting on his waist, and pulling the old tee over your head so he could really see you. “I’ve missed this, I’ve missed you,” he admitted. Hard and wanting, he reached for your sides and brought him to you.

“How long do I have you?” you asked, dreading his answer.

“Not long,” he acknowledged. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I should have come sooner, but I had to get everything in order,” he explained softly.

You rested your body on his and kissed him deeply. “Well, let’s make it worth it because God knows when the next time will be.”

Slow, tender, passionate. Sure, you’d fucked this way before, but this time, it was so much bigger than the both of you. He told you he loved you and wished he had told you sooner because you’d never made each other feel like this before.

His arms were like a constrictor around you as you lay quietly together a while later.

“Are you on the squad?”

“Dunno. Mav will probably not pick me out of spite,” he murmured, a hint of disdain in his voice. “It’s a strong team though.”

“It’s perfectly fine with me if he doesn’t pick you,” you told him, kissing his rib. Rooster hummed in reply, it was neither positive nor negative. He was surely rattled, something about this truly scared him.

“I’ve done so many dangerous runs before,” he said finally. “But nothing has prepared me for this.”

“Rooster, are they expecting you to not come home?” you looked up at him as he gave you the slightest shrug.

“None of us, even Mav, has flown a mission like this,” he sat up and guided you to sit before him. “I’m terrified I’m losing everything before I even step out this door,” he held your face in his palms.

“Mav will do everything in his power to keep you all safe. You especially.”

Rooster scoffed, a small smile creeping to his lips. “The damage was done years ago, baby.”

“Maybe you must be the bigger person and swallow your pride. He’s the closest thing you have to a family. You need Mav. Mav needs you.”

He looked at his watch and his face changed again. “I have to go.”

“Okay,” you said, moving aside for him to get out of bed. You watched him collect his gear and put it into some semblance of order. Boxer briefs, socks, slacks, shirt… he turned to face you as his long fingers nimbly did the buttons. He tucked himself in neatly and slid his jacket over his shoulders, fastening it. It was sweet to watch his precision and pride as he presented himself.

“Very handsome,” you gave a weak grin. What an understatement. He was unreal, just like a movie star. He rolled his eyes. “Your hair is a bit wild, but I’ll claim that if anyone asks,” you winked as he chuckled quietly.

“I love you,” he told you, collecting his boots. “Wait for me?” He sat beside you to pull them on and caressed your face. You gave him a dreamy smile that brought a tender smile to his face in return, he traced your lips with his thumb. “Beautiful.”

“Hurry back to me,” you pleaded as he kissed your forehead, keeping his lips on your skin. “You’d better go.”

He nodded. “Just one more minute,” he breathed, lowering his body to yours and kissing you deeply. “I just have to remember everything about this moment,” his honey eyes searching yours. “I don’t know when I’ll be back,” he confided.

“I’ll know. But I’ll be here waiting,,” you told him. He hummed and kissed you again, his forehead resting against yours. “Just be safe.”

“Always.”

You’d received word the detachment team would be returning to North Island later that week for a high-level mission debrief, to collect their belongings and return to their homes, a break earned after success. For the first time, it felt like the stars had aligned for you.

If there was ever a sign it was time to move on, it was right now. Finding the email to Simpson you’d written the day Ice formally retired, you finally added a date and hit send.

Dropping his duffle bag at his feet, Rooster put his hands on his hips. “You lost, sweet thing?”

Adjusting your shades, you shrugged as casually as you could, your heart restless as he was finally home with you again as you rested back on the hood of his beloved Bronco. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he stifled a quiet giggle, rubbing his neck nervously. “Is it true?”

“That I’m regrettably unemployed?” you tested, and he looked so fucking handsome as his toes tapped nervously, waiting impatiently. It was a crime to be so irrationally handsome, you thought. Maybe it was the ocean air, maybe it was the khaki… maybe it was just him.

Your Bradley Bradshaw.

“Everyone’s gonna know.,” he took a step closer to you, cautiously looking over his shoulder. He wasn’t entirely surprised to see his teammates watching on keenly.

“I disclosed everything when I left. They know.”

He took another step and sat his hands on your hips, gripping tightly in his anxiousness, so desperate to kiss you. The audience around you was growing fast, the show for free of what everyone knew but never disclosed… Top Gun’s worst kept secret. “How’d Cyclone take it?”

“Well… he knew too,” you said simply.

“What?” Rooster chuckled in disbelief. “How?”

You pointed up to the clouds, the sun setting behind them at Golden Hour.

“Goddamn it, Ice.” Rooster pulled his sunglasses from his eyes, and you mimicked him, smiling widely.

You traced the scrape on his cheek. “Please don’t tell me.”

“Well, I have to now,” he said sweetly. “You can’t go looking through my confidential and redacted files anymore.”

“You think I had that clearance? Oh, you sweet manchild,” you laughed loudly. “You’re right. You poor bastard. You’re going to have to, fuck... Communicate.”

“Shut your mouth and kiss me,” he smiled, leaning down to kiss you.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” you said pensively before his lips touched yours.

“I’ll tell you everything I can,” he promised as Maverick patted Rooster’s shoulder and smiled fondly at you.

“And that?”

“That’s…” Rooster began, exhaling. “Work in progress. It’ll take some time, but it’s better. Now kiss me like no one is watching,” he demanded, lifting you to sit on the hood like it was nothing and stepping between your spread legs, the tease of his words causing a bubble of humour to catch you. “Or kiss me like everyone is.” His mouth softly touched yours, the hair on his lip tickling you and you’d missed it desperately. A distinctive whoop from Phoenix could be heard. His kiss, his body, his possession. “You didn’t have to quit, you know?” he said softly.

“It was time,” you told him, resting your palms on his strong chest. “The Navy needs you. I can do what I do anywhere. Cali…”

“Virginia,” he corrected.

“California,” you corrected in a whisper. “The transfer came through. That was what sealed my resignation. Looks like you’re going to be sticking around,” you goaded him as he laughed against your lips, pulling you flush against him and kissing you deeply.

“Maybe I just couch surf until you get sick of me?”

“I could never get sick of you,” you swore against his lips as he beamed and kissed you again. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Show me the way home, honey…”

masterlist.

A/N: the tag list no longer exists. To keep up to date, give @notroosterbradshaw-library a follow x

1K notes · View notes

tulipsforyourlips · 1 month

Text

✧˖°. i found you ✧˖°. (5)

|| the sandman x dead boy detectives ||

SUMMARY: You run the dead boys detective agency along with your two best friends. And somehow two ghosts and a living girl make it work. Until you dream one night, of dream himself.

PAIRING: dream of the endless x fem!reader

WC: 1500

WARNINGS: mentions of blood (the usual)

PART 5 ✧˖°.

You were sitting on your bed, pondering over Dream's words or actually the lack of them from last night. Why was it bothering you so much who he loved or did not? He probably had gone through an army of lovers being so ancient. You knew there was Nada, Calliope, courtesy of Matthew's inability to stay quiet for more than two seconds, and now Hope. But there was something about the first time he had said her name, pure anguish coating every syllable, that had your heart retreating into itself.

"No mate there is absolutely no way I am leaving her behind." Charles' muffled voice sliced through your silent rambling.

"Charles you cannot be serious. We can't put the entire agency to a halt because of one client," Edwin wailed.

"What's the problem?" You peeped through your door.

That's when you saw Jesse's curled form on the couch and the overheard conversation bore logic.

"She's still here?"

"Yeah." Edwin's face wore a scowl. But as he sensed the oncoming taunting suggestion from you, he hurriedly added, "which I have no problem with of course."

"Sure mate," you smirked. "I will stay with her."

Charles lifted his eyebrows.

"Yeah I am feeling super tired anyways. You guys go ahead," you assured the lot of two.

"How do you manage to feel exhausted after sleeping 10 hours a day absolutely stuns me. You stun me woman." Charles relieved a deep breath.

"Aw thankyou love," you pouted.

"Alright, Hazel keep a watch on her. And if anything strange occurs, call us immediately," Edwin spoke. "You sure you aren't staying behind because of your mysterious guy?"

You gave a mock chuckle.

"No seriously Haz how are things going with him?" Charles wiggled his brows. "Which base-"

"Okay okay okay out! Both of you."

You dropped the book titled 'Hope' with a thud on the table in front of you. You were waiting for Dream to join you tonight and in the meantime, your inquisitiveness had gotten a tight grip on you. So you had raked the library to locate Dream's past lover's record successfully, you might add. Excitement swooshing in your entire body, you flung the book open. Nothing. White blankness stared at you. You flipped through the pages. Still nothing. Are you kidding me? How is this even possible? Lucienne had told you that any being, immortal or not, living or not, had a book dedicated to their dreams and stories. Before you could lose more of your mind on the enigma on your hands, you heard the flapping of Matthew's wings. You quickly put the useless book back in its place.

"Boss wants ya."

You gaped at the apparition in front of you. Consider a rhinoceros, but bigger and scarier and from a fairy land. He was partially covered in moss and vines loosely wrapped around his ears and horn. You pitied the humans back in the waking world whose dreams the animal had ever had a cameo in. You were just glad you weren't one of them. Now not so much as the whimsical rhinoceros slowly made its way in your direction. You stretched your arm in front of you. And closed your eyes in concentration. The sounds of heavy stamping grew louder. You can do this. You have been doing this for weeks. The literal fate of the world depended on you being able to do this. You opened your eyes. Yellow eyes speedily approached you. You got this. Blinding pain seared through your palm where the pointed horn of the creature tore through your skin and the acute scent of copper wafted into the air. Dream raised his hand to dispel his creation.

"No!" you shouted. "Don't."

"Haz-"

"I got this." You got this.

Blackness seeped into the periphery of your vision but you reeled your focus back to the huffing beast in front of you. He started towards you again, sand flying from the rear of his feet. You shut your eyes. Enough. You are chosen for a destiny far greater than yours, Dream's words from your first encounter surfaced in your mind when you had accused him of being a serial killer. So much time had passed since then, so much time putting your body and mind through vigorous training, so much time withholding yourself from your bestfriends, so much time with Dream, who had placed his faith in your hands, gentle and soft. A faint energy began buzzing in the core of your soul, spreading throughout, tickling every nerve in your body and roaring in your ears. You opened your eyes, the creature's angry black pupils crashed against your outstretched bleeding hand, almost. The second his bristly face came in contact with your touch, his pupils dilated and he skidded to a stop. Your hand glowed with the hum of energy that slowly receded back from wherever it had come from, inside you. The animal leaned into your touch before pulling back and leaped away to from wherever Dream had summoned him. Dream. You tilted your head to where he stood, his lips twitched upwards all so ever slightly, a ghost of a smile. A fire ignited in your heart, from where it trickled down your insides, painting them warm, at the sight. He walked towards you and the wave of adrenaline rush that had kept you distracted from your punctured hand that was reddening the sand below, died down. Before the blood loss could take its toll on you, Dream's calloused yet silken fingers wrapped around your wounded hand. His touch though cold, lit your skin on fire. He rubbed sand over your hand. The blow of the pain simmered down to a dull ache. He severed the contact between your skins, leaving behind an abrupt chill. It was as if your body was calling for his hand again, craving for his touch.

His perfect lips parted, perfect? you perverted brain get a grip, "Hazel? Hazel?"

Shit. Were you staring? "Yeah,"

"How is your hand?"

You looked down, a black cloth was tied around it. How long were you zoned out?

You might have cared for the throbbing pain still lapping around it if you weren't reveling in the ecstasy your triumph had wrought. "It's better. Thankyou."

"You did well tonight, mortal."

"Shut. Up!" You turned towards the newly joined raven on your shoulder. "He can hand out praise?" You asked incredulously.

"Unsolved mysteries of the world," Matthew replied.

Dream's lips fought a smile.

You fisted blades of grass within your fingers as you sat alongside the Dream lord in your favourite place of all the realms. The darkness was slowly fading away, a hint of pink dotting the mountain edges. It would soon be time for you to wake up.

"Dream,"

Morpheus turned his attention to you. You didn't like the intensity of it.

"Yes mortal?"

You hesitated.

Dream's gravelly voice jeered, "How many questions do you have?" Amusement danced in his eyes.

You sighed and laid down your head on the soft grass. "It was you, wasn't it? That day at the sisters' house. You saved me from Aura." You finally gave voice to the doubt solidifying in your mind.

"That isn't a question Hazel."

"Why?"

"Because you are important to the survival of the realms."

You felt a brush of disappointment at his answer. What were you expecting? That made a perfect explanation for why he had saved you. This partnership was not forged out of any preference or want. You were chosen for this. He was stuck with you.

"So what happens now? With the nightmares under control- Why did you even create them in the first place? Just some merry dreams would have sufficed don't ya reckon?"

"Nightmares serve a crucial purpose. They are merely meant to reflect a man's worst fears so he can face them."

"I wish I could say makes sense."

"Don't trouble your puny mortal brain with the rules of the universe," he said in a teasing tone.

Your laugh was gradual but it came. He was getting better with his jokes. You felt Dream watch you intently. He had begun to open up. You had managed to writhe little information about his past but whatever you had, the Corinthian, Roderick Burgess, Rose Walker, he had given it up willingly. Do you ever get lonely? You had asked him your first time in the Dreaming. Even though he hadn't replied to you then, you had come to know the answer. He was just as eager for company as you were for his.

"Well back to the concerned topic, with the dreams now learning to trust again, what happens now?" You asked.

The sun had emerged from the diving nook between the mountains. Its rays spilled honey all around you.

"We will decide tomorrow." Were the last words of your dream as you were tugged back into wakeness.

56 notes · View notes

equallyshaw · 5 months

Text

little lion | Luke hughes au! ↠ when luke and liona meet. - fic. ↠ au Masterlist!

warning: underage drinking. word count: 1.4k+

if her father knew whose highrise she was at, and what she was doing- he'd kill her. no, scratch that. he'd ship her to russia, have her grandmother lock her in the basement and never see the light of day ever again. to be frank, liona didn't even know how she ended up here to be quite honest. her and her group of friends since highschool had been invited to a party in newark at an off campus house and then the next thing she knew they were here, after getting a 'better invite'. her and her best friend rain, stood in the corner waiting for gavin and chris to come back with drinks for them. they saw them emerging from the kitchen, and liona sighed. "i cant believe chris scored an invite to a new jersey devils place!" rain whispered yelled and liona smirked. chris handed her a red solo cup, and gavin gave rain one. chris wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulder, and sipped some of his liquid.

gavin and rain began to talk about whatever was happening at law school, while chris and liona just listened. they had no knowledge or the logistics of their degrees, so they just took in all of it as well as the drama. the two ended up rambling on their own while chris and liona looked at one another, before laughing. "you going to see andrei soon?" chris questioned, and kailey shrugged. "i don't know, my dad wants me to come home to visit and offered the Carolina game but i don't know." she said finishing her cup. "im getting another one." she said raising it a bit, and chris nodded. "if you're not back in 5 minutes, im coming and finding you!" he announced and she nodded with a small smile. she weaved in and out of some people, finding her way to the kitchen. she set her sights on a seltzer that was in the open bowl of ice, and snatched it quickly. "is that the last cherry?" she heard to her right, and she looked through the other ones before turning to the person.

she turned to the right seeing a tall boy, brunette curly hair and hazel eyes. she swallowed before speaking, "uh there's no-no more." she stuttered pulling some hair behind her ear. he nodded, "can you hand me a random one then?" he questioned and she nodded enthusiastically and grabbed him a random one. "thanks-" he waited for her to fill in, "uh liona." she responded holding her hand out, he took it softly "luke." he responded, and they let go of eachother's hand. "do you know dawson?" he questioned and her eyebrows crinkling gave him her answer. "who?" she questioned and he chuckled softly. "my teammate, who are you here with?" he questioned. "you play hockey?" she asked softly and he nodded. oh fuck, she thought. "um im best friends with chris." she said and luke made a face of recognition. "i know who that is, he's pretty cool." he said and she smiled widely. "oh yeah definitely wouldn't have kept him around all these years if he wasn't." she tried to joke but it fell flat. she looked at the ground before both of them tried to speak at the same time, "do you wanna-?" and "im gonna go." the two of them blushed and chuckled softly. "would you wanna go somewhere and talk?" he questioned, and she looked back towards her friend group. "ummm.." she trailed off turning back to look at luke. "we don't have to, was just curious!" he said and she shook her head. "id like that, i just need to go tell my friends." she said pointing behind her. he nodded and followed her back into the living room. "hey guys im gonna go -" chris cut her off by greeting luke, and doing a bro hug with each other. gavin also bro hugged him, with rain and luke getting introduced to one another. "were gonna go talk for a bit, ill let you know when im ready to go?" kailey confirmed, and gavin pushed her playfully while chris just nodded. the two walked off towards the small movie room that dawson had.

next thing they knew, it was 2 in the morning and the two of them had been talking for a few hours at this point. then she dropped a bomb on him, "you're dad is the alex ovechkin?" he asked eyes wide and wonder lighting up his face. she nodded softly, "ye-yeah." she said shrugging while looking down at her converse. "oh well, that's really neat! you said your parents are not together right? was the schedule too much and stuff?" he asked and she shook her head, "no uh, once she found out she was pregnant with me..they had already broken up and he ended up fleeing back to europe before getting some sense knocked into him. but they used to fight like cats and dogs, some of my earliest memories typically ended up in a fight. so yeah, they couldn't get along longer than a few hours." she hummed, biting her lip nervously. he nodded, "im sorry kai- i mean liona." he stuttered and the way he said her middle name, was heaven. "y'know nobody has ever called me just kai before...but i liked it." she hummed while her cheeks became even rosier. "kai, huh?" he questioned with a glint in his eye, as he grinned. she nodded, "liona kai ovechkin...a mouthful." she hummed shrugging. "its perfect." he responded. "my dad though just says lion or little lion, because apparently im the forthcoming of him or i guess the second coming..." she trailed off with her eyebrows creasing in deep thought. luke found it all quite adorable.

"lion..lioness... definitely suits you." he mused and she snickered. "well if you'd like i can give you permission to call me kai." she teased and his head cocked to the side a tad bit. the two were sitting next to each other on the couch, knees only a mere inch apart. both of them looked over at one another, and luke was debating if he should do what he wanted to do. and that was kissing her. while liona was telling herself he did not like her, he was just being nice.

luke began to lean in and a his left hand quickly found her chin, pulling her softly closer as he stopped a few inches from it. his gaze had been focused on her pink lips, and now they were gazing in to her brown eyes. almost as if to ask if it was ok. she nodded softly once, and his lips were on hers. his right hand came up to her cheek, as she pulled him in a bit by the neck. but luke being the gentleman that he was (because queen ellen raised him right) he did not go any further. they pulled apart, chests heaving a bit as their foreheads rested against each other's. liona was about to lean in again but he pulled his face away by a few inches, and he could see how much that hurt the girl. she stood up, pulled down her shirt a bit by smoothing it and cleared her throat.

"kai-" he said but she put her hand up, not meeting his gaze yet. she shook her head, "its fine. i totally get it, i don't know what i was thinking there for a second." she paused ruffling up her hair a bit, and looked up at him. "its fine, im not sure any guys would want to be with me anyways. so its fine, luke." she rambled before spinning on her heel, and heading out to find her friends. the group had dissipated just a bit. chris was the first one to recognize her from the small group he was in, and quickly made his way over. once he reached her, he saw tear in her eyes. his face and tone in full protection mode, "what happened?" he asked checking her body for any brusies or cuts. she shook her head, "id just like to leave." she said as her voice cracked. he nodded profusely, wrapping an arm around her back and leading her out of the highrise.

not without luke seeing the whole scene play out, and his heart breaking just a bit as they left with his arm around her.

oh lukey... will be doing a follow up to this (:

please like and reblog if you liked!

tags: @cuttergauthier

#luke hughes #luke hughes au #luke hughes x ovechkin #little lion au #luke hughes blurb #luke hughes fic #luke hughes imagine #new jeresy #new jersey devils #nhl #hockey #nhl blurb #hockey fic #nhl fic #hockey imagine #nhl imagine

92 notes · View notes

lukesvangelista · 1 year

Text

𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐎 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐒?

in which two lovers grapple with memories of their relationship in two very different ways.

part two to can the killer in me tame the fire in you?

warnings; end of a relationship, sad luke

As Luke watched you slip through his grasp once again, he sadly turned back into his apartment and slammed the door angrily. He wasn’t angry at you. Instead, he was angry at the fact that he had some random girl in his bed as an attempt to get over you when he knew in his heart that he never was going to get over you.

Luke turned all the kitchen lights on to further illuminate his empty apartment. Ever since you guys had broken up, Luke hadn’t had the heart to redecorate, afraid of losing all the memories of you. He ran a hand through his messy curls as the girl, whose name he didn’t even remember, emerged from his bedroom with only a bedsheet wrapped around her body. It was an unfortunate reminder of the hookup that had happened only an hour beforehand, “Luke?” the girl asked, her hair tousled and her eyes confused, “What’s going on?”

Luke whipped his head towards her, and cringed at the sight of the girl. He looked down at his body and took in the sight of his wrinkled Devils shirt, gray boxers and uneven socks. His hazel eyes, which you always argued had more green than brown in them, narrowed, and he slowly walked towards her, “Get out.”

“What?” the girl asked in exasperation, eyeing the time and then looking back at Luke, “Luke, it’s 2:30 in the morning!”

Luke scoffed and fought the urge to raise his voice, pushing past the girl to enter his room. He collected the girl’s underwear, bra, jeans and top before exiting and shoving the belongings into her arms, “I don’t care. Get out.”

The random girl opened her mouth to argue, but stopped in her tracks when she realized that Luke had disappeared again, re-emerging seconds later with $20 to pay for a ride, “Go put your clothes on in the bathroom. The money will be waiting for you when you get out.” he spoke, watching as the girl shook her head in disbelief before disappearing into his bathroom. He went and sat down on his couch and grasped at his hair in desperation, attempting deep breaths in order to calm down. Luke heard the front door slam as the girl stormed out the door, but he didn’t move. Instead, he stayed right there on the couch, as if he was paralyzed, and just stared blankly at the wall. He didn’t know how he was going to do life without you.

Meanwhile, you had just arrived back to your apartment. It was now 3:00 in the morning and while you were extremely exhausted, you knew that you weren’t going to be able to get any sleep. Instead, you would stay awake, your mind wandering to Luke and what your guys’ relationship could’ve been. As you twisted your keys to unlock the front door, you took in the sight of your messy apartment.

It was just one big reminder of Luke.

Luke’s hoodies were scattered all over your couch and multiple chairs spread across your living room and kitchen area. Although it had been four months since you had broken up with him, you never had the heart to return his things to him. But as you look at everything now, you realized that if there was any chance that you were going to move on from the curly-headed boy you loved so much, then you would have to get rid of all his stuff. Out of sight, out of mind.

Without a second thought, you slowly closed the door behind you and walked slightly forward into the kitchen area, taking off your uncomfortable shoes and placing them off to the side. You sighed as you trudged into your bedroom, sliding off your jeans and swapping them out for a baggy pair of sweatpants. You did the same thing with your top, pulling the white tank top over the top of your head and switching it out for a plain gray and oversized hoodie that your best friend had gifted you for your birthday last year.

Speaking of your best friend, you were relieved that she wasn’t currently home. She had gone out bar hopping last night, and with her luck you knew that she was probably going to end up going home with a random guy she met at one of the bars. When you received a text from her earlier that morning, you knew that you were correct in your assumptions, which guaranteed you an empty apartment to yourself for at least the next five hours, maybe more. With this in mind, you grabbed a cardboard box from your closet and slowly made your way back out into your living area to grab Luke’s hoodies.

You ran a hand through your hair as you placed the box down on your coffee table, taking another look at the scattered hoodies. There were five in the living room total, but you had many more in your closet. Without another thought, you stepped forward to grab the first hoodie — a classic Devils hoodie with “Hughes — 21” on the back of it. Luke had given it to you after he had gotten drafted a couple years back, and it meant a lot to you. Secondly, a Toronto Maple Leafs hoodie gifted to him from William Nylander, which he had gifted to you when you guys first started dating. Third, a University of New Hampshire crewneck sweatshirt he had had since he was little. It had belonged to his mom, but Luke had told you that it was one of his security items growing up, and he wanted to pass that onto you. You teared up a little bit just thinking about how much Luke’s family meant to him, and how much you also once meant to him. Too bad those days were over now.

Managing to keep the tears at bay, you shakily sighed as you finished packing up Luke’s hoodies. Once you had finished with the ones in the living room, you moved onto packing the ones hidden at the back of your closet. After finishing with those, you hesitantly moved onto packing his bottle of cologne he had given you. You couldn’t lie — you had been spraying it on your wrists and clothes for the past couple of months in order to feel safe, in order to feel like you were in Luke’s strong and protective arms again. After about an hour more of stalling in order to avoid packing away the memories of your relationship with the boy you loved — love — forever, you had finally finished. And with that, you placed the overflowing box by your bedside and collapsed on your bed. It was already 5:00 AM, but if you could manage to get an hour of sleep before waking up to return Luke’s stuff to him again, then you’d be okay with that.

An hour and a half later, you woke up from what was arguably the worst sleep of your life. You groaned angrily as your alarm clock blared, and almost broke your hand with the amount of force you put into shutting it off. After fighting the strong urge to just lie in bed and go back to sleep, you slowly hopped out of your bed and stretched your arms over your head. Knowing that you were just going to go back to bed after arriving home, you threw your hair into a messy bun and only brushed your teeth because you didn’t want to overwhelm your Uber driver with your bad breath. You didn’t even bother eating breakfast. You simply grabbed the extremely heavy box of your ex-boyfriend’s things and made your way outside of your apartment building to meet your Uber driver.

The friendly older woman greeted you as you stepped into the car and put the box down next to you. Her hair had almost turned fully gray, but a few streaks of dark brown were still alive, holding on for dear life as if an ocean of age would wash them away any minute. Her eyes were kind and wrinkles of wisdom were present across her freckled face, a face of motherly comfort. You smiled at her as a faint “hello” came out of your mouth. You gave her the address of Luke’s apartment building and soon the car began moving. Some Lumineers’ song was playing faintly through the car radio, and the sweet woman eyed you through the mirror, “I can turn the radio off if you’d prefer, sweetheart. I don’t mind.” she smiled, and you shook your head.

“That’s very generous of you ma’am, thank you. But I don’t mind,” you replied softly, and she smiled as a way to let you know that she heard you. As the Lumineers’ song ended and the next one began, you wished you had told her differently. The color drained from your face as Hozier’s “Like Real People Do” began echoing throughout the car.

You and Luke. This was your guys’ song.

Your lip trembled as the song played, and the memories came rushing back. Slow dancing to this song in his kitchen throughout high school, on Umich’s campus out in the snow at 2:00 AM (Luke had pulled you close and whispered the entire song into your ear), and the first night you had spent in your own apartment in Newark. All the two of you had at that time was some paper plates, plastic silverware, napkins, a carry out pizza and an air mattress, but it was the first time you two were officially on your own together. It was a special moment as Luke held you against his own body and the two of you gave each other sweet kisses as the song played through his phone.

The rolling of the car to a stop pulled you out of your thoughts, and you quickly thanked her before handing her some money and exiting the vehicle. She pulled away and as you stood in front of Luke’s apartment complex, you realized that you couldn’t face him again today. So instead of knocking on his door and handing him the box of his stuff, you took the elevator up to his floor and left the cardboard box outside of his front door. As you left the building, you shot him a text to let him know that his stuff was there before ordering another Uber in order to get back home.

When you arrived home, your roommate was awake on the couch, clearly hungover. You gave her as much of a smile as you could muster and the only response you received was a groan and a, “Could you get me some Advil?”

You nodded, knowing that you had an unopened bottle of it somewhere in your room. When you entered your room, you began to search through the drawers on your nightstand, but you had no luck. After searching your bottom drawer without any luck of finding the Advil, you were about to move on to the drawers in your dresser when a picture frame caught your eye. You pulled the picture frame out of the drawer and brushed it off with your hands, only to see the picture of you and Luke that Ellen had taken on your two year anniversary. You and Luke looked like two lovesick fools, huge grins on both your faces as you looked at each other lovingly. The two of you were both unaware that the photo was being taken until Ellen had sent her son the picture. You noticed it was his lock screen the next day and asked him to send it to you, to which he did. For your three year anniversary, you had gifted Luke a framed copy of that photo, and kept one for yourself as well.

You smiled sadly at the photo as you walked over to sit down on your bed, tears welling in your eye at the sight of how happy the two of you once were together. As you thought back to earlier in the morning however, the misery and yearning you were feeling for your ex-boyfriend came flooding back to you in a harsh wave of anger, “God fucking dammit, Luke!” you screamed, throwing the picture frame onto the ground. Glass shattered around you as the frame hit the floor, and all you could manage to do was watch emotionless as Luke’s love-stricken face stared up at you through the broken glass on top of it.

Little did you know, Luke still kept that same framed photo of you guys on his bedroom dresser. As he stared down at the overflowing box of his stuff that was now in his apartment, he thought back to that photo. He quickly made his way into his bedroom to grab it and just as quickly took the same place on his couch as he did hours earlier when he had kicked the random girl out of his apartment, this time with a box of returned items and a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend in his hand.

Luke simply stared at the smile on your face. Oh, how he missed your beautiful smile. He rubbed his thumb over the picture of your face, almost as if he was hoping he could feel the softness of your skin through the glass. Without a second thought, almost as if he was on autopilot, Luke began humming the tune of “Like Real People Do” under his breath as he gripped the framed picture to his chest and wrapped his arms around it, wondering if there was anything left to do for him and you.

#luke hughes #nhl #new jersey devils #umich hockey #nhl hockey #luke hughes imagines #luke hughes x you #luke hughes blurb #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes angst #luke hughes x y/n #nj devils #hockey #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #luke hughes 43 #nhl x reader

336 notes · View notes

violetsiren90 · 1 year

Text

All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader

Table of Contents: Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)

Pairing: idol!Namjoon/f!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured

Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?

Warnings: 18+ (minors, dni), realistic depictions of cancer and cancer treatment; mention of unfeatured character death (previous to plot); emotional health growth and development; eventual smut; feelings and dealing with feelings (no, but seriously, so many feelings)

Author's Note: First and foremost - Blame Me chapter 1 will still be tentatively dropping by the end of the week. However, this just literally wrote itself last night after a couple of drinks and several streams of Lonely 💔. It was the thing that just poured out of me and could not be stopped. It's been simmering in the back of my brain for a while, and so, now that it's out here, I'm going to be posting it in tandem with Blame Me, probably on alternate weeks (if I can manage it, 😅). I want to give credit to those whose works I have read which have come to set the stage for my concept of the soulmate au, and who are far my betters in creative artistry: Matchy, author of balls-to-the-walls masterpiece Trip No Further, Fallencairns, author of lovely work of art Turbulence, and @teenagebountyhunter , to whom I dedicate this work 💜 the author of the ineffably beautiful Namjoon soulmate fic Bloom (RUN to read this immediately) - the inspiration for what is to humbly follow below. If you're checking this out, thanks a million for reading, and please don't be shy in offering feedback should you be so inclined! (Baby fic writer here, constructive criticism always welcome!)

Without further ado, chapter one is under the cut.

P.S. Tag list is open. If you want in, let me know. 😊

P.P.S. In case no one has told you today, you're loved and worthy of love. 🧜💜

“When your hands leap towards mine, love, what do they bring me in flight? Why did they stop at my lips, so suddenly, why do I know them, as if once before, I have touched them, as if, before being, they traveled my forehead, my waist?”

~ Pablo Neruda

Chapter 1: The Cure

Diana dipped another three fries in ketchup and popped them into her mouth.

"So, what do you need to talk about that has you desperate enough to buy me lunch?" She smiled smugly and sipped and her milkshake.

You hadn't touched the burger in front of you, even if you probably should be absolutely relishing in it, considering your future prospects. You picked up a sweet potato fry and stared at it absently.

"I found my soulmate," you stated flatly.

Diana's jaw dropped mid-chew, unpleasantly framing the masticated remains of a mouthful of turkey club.

"Wait, are you serious?" she pressed, round hazel eyes wide and unblinking.

You dipped the fry down into the little cup of ranch and swirled it around slowly.

"Actually, he found me. Well, his people found me," you continued.

"Huh? So is he some kind of a big deal - wait...they found you? What does that even mean? Wait, no - you have a soulmate?!"

You smiled ruefully. It was kind of nice to see someone else freaking out about it for a change. You had known your little sister would react strongly, which is why you had waited until now give her the news.

"Y/n, ANSWERS," Diana demanded leaning forward to flick your forehead.

"Ow!" you protested, rubbing the throbbing spot on your brow. "Keep your pants on, geez!"

You sighed. After having relayed this story to your mom, your doctor, a specialist, legal advisory, your best friend, your brother and his wife, and your very disappointed boss, you had gotten pretty good telling it. Yet, somehow, each time the burden of it's truth felt a little heavier. You ate the fry. It was pretty good. You wished it had sucked so it wouldn't be one more edible thing you missed the prospect of.

"So apparently, a couple of years ago a university in Switzerland found a way to match soulmates using DNA testing. Don't ask me about the exact science of it - I do not understand it. What I do know is that it's illegal to use this technology to locate your soulmate in the US."

"Why?" Diana had abandoned her food and was listening with rapt attention.

"Something about privacy rights. Though they've dealt with that issue in Switzerland - people interested in finding their soulmates join a biological registry. I'm sure our government is just waiting to find a way that big pharma can exploit it before they facilitate the process. Anyway, somehow, I ended up in a foreign registry. I guess there is a black market for soulmate data..."

"Oh my god, could I be on the black market?" Diana gasped, slapping her hands over her mouth.

"I guess anyone could, provided they've ever been treated at a hospital, or given blood, or anything of the sort...but calm down! It doesn't even matter unless you have a match, which is rare."

"So he found you on the black market?! That's so fucking sketchy, Y/n."

"It was his company, actually. I got a visit from representatives of an organization called Hybe. They are some kind of South Korean entertainment conglomerate. One of their employees, a musician, is dying of cancer. Seeing if he had a soulmate was a last-ditch effort to save his life. Now everything is banking on me and my cooperation."

You flicked your eyes up to your sister. Her expression had morphed into something far more somber.

"Heavy..." she whispered.

You nodded.

"What are you gonna do?"

You took a bite of your burger. She wasn't going to like your answer. Diana's face changed again, this time registering alarm and indignation.

"No," she murmured, "No, Y/n. You're just gonna do it, aren't you? You're gonna go be the fucking hero! You're going to traipse off to Korea and save his sketchy, ungrateful ass!"

She stood up, her chair screeching back over the concrete and drawing the attention of other diners on the patio. You glanced around apologetically.

"Diana, sit down! And how do you know if he's grateful or not?!" you hissed.

"No!" she countered defiantly, yanking her hand away from where you had reached for it. "You always do this! You never, ever think of yourself. And now you'll be gone forever...is this even safe?"

Tears had started to well up in her eyes, and the glances around you had turned into stares and whispers. You stood up and pulled her into a hug.

"Hey, hey, it's okay! Lets get out of here and I can answer all of your questions, alright?" She sniffled.

"Okay. But you're not leaving me." You smiled and huffed out a laugh pulling her toward the parking lot.

You had anticipated that Diana would disapprove of your decision, and it being as difficult a situation as it was, you had decided to make all the arrangements and choices necessary before telling her. She loved you so fiercely, she would have watched the world burn before letting you break a nail, if she could help it.

After your father's death nearly twenty years ago, you had become protector and provider to Diana and your younger brother Henry, three years her senior, in ways your sensitive and unworldly mother seemed unequipped to shoulder. If they had both not been so established and secure in the trajectory of their adult lives, you would have made it clear to Hybe that you regrettably had nonnegotiable responsibilities right where you were. But Henry was settled into a suburb with a lovely wife and year-old daughter, Diana was set to finish undergrad and head off to nursing school, and the deal with Hybe had actually allowed you to leverage for your Mom's retirement, so you were boarding a flight to Korea next week to take on a new set of cares and concerns.

You tossed your keys on the table on your way into your apartment and collapsed onto your comfy red couch. While Diana rooted around your fridge and loudly complained about the lack of hard seltzer, you sorted through the mail and made a mental note to add a forwarding address on a few of your accounts and subscriptions, including the one supplying you with Nightwing comics. You set the mail aside and took a moment to look around you.

You loved your little apartment. The kitchen was small, but the big window with the spider plant hanging in it made it one of your favorite rooms - the herb garden on the counter and the fully stocked bar above the fridge did nothing to make you like it any less. The earthy brown walls of the living space were littered with shelves full of candles and living plants and quirky curios, and in and amongst them hung framed watercolors of flowers and herbs that you had painted yourself. The record player sat at the ready in the corner by the wall dedicated almost exclusively to books and vinyl. There was a small tv over the stone-lined fireplace. Over your shoulder your soft, queen sized bed with sheer canopy cozily called your named from the single bedroom.

The whole place smelled like citrus and cinnamon. In every corner, there was you. It was going to be hard to leave the hobbit hole you had so lovingly curated for yourself over the last half-a-decade...especially since you wouldn't be going "there and back again", but just...there.

Diana plopped down next to you, breaking your reverie.

"So, you're NOT going, but tell me about the huge mistake you ALMOST made," Diana prompted as she side-eyed you, taking a sip of the wine she had poured herself.

You set the comic book you had been thumbing through aside and drew your knees up to your chest as you swiveled to face her impatient stare.

"Last week, a these three people showed up at my door, two men and a woman, and they said they were from a company called Hybe based in South Korea. One of their employees, a singer named Kim Namjoon, has stage 4 liver cancer. I guess they caught it pretty late in the game, so even the most aggressive treatments aren't doing much good. Back in April the doctor gave him two months to live."

"Damn," Diana interjected softly.

"Yeah, that's why all of this is happening so fast. He needs me as soon as I can get there."

"We need you, too," she whispered, reaching out to loop her finger into the top of your sock. You smiled affectionately.

"I know, Di, but you're a grown woman now and you can take care of yourself. You're going to have to and I know you can. Life really won't be that different - you'll be off to school in San Diego anyway! Most of our hangouts were going to be over Facetime...now you'll just have an excuse for a little international travel."

She heaved a stuttering sigh.

"Speaking of travel...Johnny broke up with me," she mumbled.

Your mouth hung open in shock.

"Oh my god, Di, I'm so sorry! Why didn't you tell me?"

She downed her remaining wine and stared into the empty glass, twirling it between her fingers.

"I was gonna, but when I told mom last week she said to wait to talk to you about it because you were dealing with something stressful. Now I know what she meant."

You shook your head.

"Ugh, Mom..."

Your sweet, nonconfrontational mother, while you loved her deeply, was a horrible communicator. Whenever she got involved things like this always ended up worse. You looked at your sister twiddling with her wine glass. She looked so small. And Diana, while she exuded many things, very rarely seemed diminutive. You grabbed her and pulled her to you, and she instantly snuggled into your chest.

"I'm sorry you've had to hold that in all this time," You said softly, stroking her hair, "You really could have told me. How are you doing? Was it bad?"

She shook her head against you.

"Nah, it wasn't so bad. He's going to travel before starting grad school and wants to 'sow some wild oats'," she answered, flashing air quotes.

You couldn't see her face, but the acerbic nature of her tone told you just exactly what she thought of that concept. You snickered. Atta' girl. You'd never liked that guy much, anyway.

"What an asshole," you remarked.

"Yeah, he better not hit me up in a couple of months when he's done fucking his way through Europe."

"Fuuuuuck that," you commiserated.

"Yeah, so I thought this summer would be our last hurrah. You know, no guys, just you and me...like old times" Diana mumbled in a voice that was all sulking and bottom lip.

"Ahhh," you said with a smile, "So that's why you are so disappointed. Well, we still have a few days - we can make the most of them!"

Diana lifted her head from your chest and glared up at you.

"Boys ruin everything!" She whined.

You smirked softly.

"Usually I would agree with you, but the one I'm leaving for seems kind of decent, actually."

Diana frowned.

"How do you know? Did he call you or something? Wait, you never finished telling me your story!"

You hummed in assent.

"I mean, there's not much more to tell. I agreed to move out there to bond with him and begin treatment. I signed a really basic contract that will be revised when he is well enough to think about the future - or in a year, whichever comes first. They were pretty quick to meet my terms, I guess they didn't really have much choice since I was the one holding the all the cards."

"What does any of that have to do with him being a good guy?"

"Oh," you blinked, "It doesn't. You see, when they met with me they talked a lot about him. It was almost like a job interview or something. They talked about his accomplishments, his net worth, the importance of his work, and his worthiness as a person. One of the guys was actually one of his bandmates, and he had come specifically as a character reference. They had initially wanted me to sign the contract right there and then - and let me tell you, that kid they brought with them almost convinced me with his giant puppy eyes alone - but in the end I had asked for forty-eight hours to consult legal advisory and think it over. The first thing I did when they left was look him up. You actually probably already know who he is - I think I might have been the only person in the world who didn't. Have you ever heard of BTS?"

Diana jumped back like she'd been stung, clutching her chest.

"Are you about to tell me that your soulmate is a member of the biggest band in the world?" she whispered, her eyes impossibly wide.

You smirked.

"Not just a member, Di...their leader." Diana shrieked, leaping up off the couch.

"RM??? Your soulmate is RM???"

Your sister stared at you, agape, while you threw your hands up in indignation.

"I was the only person!"

"Oh my god..." Diana staggered back, demeanor having deviated sharply from disapproval to elation, "My roommate is obsessed with them! She has all these posters - but her favorite, I'm sorry, her bias, is Suga...holy shit, I can't WAIT to tell her she's gonna-"

"Diana," you interrupted her firmly, and her eyes shot up to you.

"Yeah?"

"You can't tell anyone."

Her face fell as she leaned back against the wall beside the fireplace. Clearly this was going to be even more of an emotional roller-coaster for her than it was for you, you thought in amusement. Typical.

"Everyone who I tell has to sign a gag order. You included."

Diana slid down the wall into a slump and knocked her head back.

"This situation keeps harshing my vibes, dude," she whined.

"Well, I'm exceedingly sorry about your vibes, but I'm sure they'll recover," you rejoined sardonically.

"But woah, Y/n, your boyfriend is hot. And rich. And super famous. Your wedding is going to be fucking LIT..."

"Woah, Nellie!" You cut her off, waving your hands as if you usher her train of thought into the landing strip of sanity. "Slow. Down. Wedding?? What happened to 'sketchy, ungrateful ass'?! He is NOT my boyfriend. He's supposedly my soulmate. According to some Swiss pseudoscience. We haven't even bonded yet. And if we do in fact bond, that doesn't mean we're a couple."

Diana popped her head up and fixed you with the most incredulous of stares.

"Um, excuse me...soulmates have to touch each other to survive. And I heard that the soulmate connection is better than sex. You're telling me you have the opportunity, nay, the duty, to be up in the business of one of the sexiest men alive, and you're just gonna platonically kick it for the next seventy years?"

You rolled your eyes.

"I mean, if that's what he wants - if that's what I want. Soulmates doesn't automatically equate lovers. I've been reading about people's experiences and there are some soulmates who bond platonically. Some people are already with romantic partners when they meet. Some don't share a sexual orientation that makes them compatible as lovers..."

"Oh my god, Y/n, could you please not kill the sexy by going all nerd on this?" She asked you in exasperation as her finger swiped at her phone screen.

Suddenly she shoved the phone out toward you, while tapping frantically with a neon yellow acrylic nail on the image she had summoned. She was saying something humorous and complaintive but you weren't listening. You were looking at the man in the photo.

You hadn't seen this one in your superficial search-engine dives. It was a headshot. His hair was a light brown, full at the top and styled away from his face. His skin was darker than in many of the other images you had seen, emanating a beautiful golden glow. He was smiling just enough for his right dimple to softly grace his cheek. His features were strong, masculine, and incredibly handsome. All of that was already striking, but his eyes, oh, his eyes - they were staring directly at the camera, irises only half visible under his lidded gaze, warm and sincere, so incredibly intense.

The hair stood up on the back of your neck and your breath caught in your chest in spite of you. You closed your eyes and sucked in a breath. You needed to calm down. He was just a person. Good looking? Yes. Charismatic? Obviously. But you had a job to do, and no time to screw around with schoolgirl daydreams. He probably had a girlfriend. No, definitely, he definitely had one. And hey, he was just a person, like you. No need to be star struck.

Diana had been continuing her rant, completely unaware of being ignored, when she had let out a high pitched squeal of laughter.

"Oh my god...oh my god!" She shrieked.

"What?" You snapped, your hormone-wrestling train of thought cut off abruptly.

She stared at you, lips pressed together as if she was trying to contain more loud giggles.

"What??" You demanded impatiently, your limit for her antics very swiftly approaching.

"RM. K-pop superstar, probably one of the coolest people ever born, gets YOUR dorky ass as a soulmate, HAH!"

"Hey!" you deflated, unimpressed with what she considered to be so vastly comical.

"Oh that poor man!" she pushed dramatically, "That poor, poor man. You're the least graceful, geekiest person in the western hemisphere. What will you even talk about? Good thing you don't speak Korean, you'd probably bore him to death! Shit, at least you're pretty..."

You folded your arms over your chest defensively.

"Hilarious. But actually, he's fluent in English. And I read somewhere that he likes art..."

"Y/n, he's rich," she interrupted condescendingly, "All rich people like art. It's a huge flex to own an original. If I was a billionaire I'd 'like art' too. Oh my god, I just can't believe this is happening. Like he's crazy famous..."

"And very, very sick," you reminded her softly.

Her expression fell into something contrite.

"Oh, shit, I forgot," she murmured.

"I'm glad you're excited for me, Di. It really made me feel a lot better about the whole situation seeing you get some kind of joy out of it. But I can't stress enough that this isn't a fairytale. Who knows how he feels about resorting to this. I guarantee you this is as hard for him as it is for me."

Diana crossed over to the couch and skooched in next to you.

"All jokes aside, he's lucky to have you, Y/n. You love at a thousand percent. Even if you guys just end up being soul-buddies, or whatever, he hit the jackpot," she smiled at you, that sweet smile that made you rethink everything for one split second.

Now it was your turn to try to hold back tears.

"I'm gonna miss you," she murmured, "But I respect what you're doing."

"Now that he's famous?" You prodded with a teasing smile.

"Yeah, now that he's famous," she conceded.

You pulled her into a hug. The silence that hung around you was pregnant but comfortable. Diana finally broke it with a soft question.

"So you're really going to give your whole life away for a total stranger next week?" she whispered.

"Mmhm," you hummed somberly into her hair.

"Why you always gotta be like Dad?"

A familiar lump began to form in your throat, but you swallowed it back. You always did. And Diana fell asleep in your lap one last time. You stroked her hair as you thought back, rather emotionally exhausted, over your conversation. It seemed like people thought of the soulmate connection as some kind of miracle. You didn't believe in those. People made choices, and those choices governed reality. You had just made the biggest choice of your life, and if it was like any of the other roads you had taken, it would require much of you.

The following day was your last at work. Your coworkers had greeted you with pizza, cake, flowers, and hugs. It was touching to realize how much you would be missed. Your boss, Shauna, hovered as you gathered you belongings from your desk.

"Damn it to hell, I'm gonna miss you!" She mourned for the umpteenth time.

You smiled as you tucked your little philodendron into the box, placing it next to the canvas speckled with daisies that read "You Matter" in curly green letters.

"You have an amazing team here, you guys will do great," you insisted, patting her hand where she leaned on your desk.

"Um, a great team of people you trained!" she said, consoling herself with a swipe of frosting from what had once been a beautiful red velvet cake with white buttercream.

You leaned beside her on the desk, joining her in sadly picking at the dessert remains.

After you had graduated with your degree in social work, you had landed an internship in a program which Shauna was running. The two of you quickly discovered you had similar passions and community goals, and the following year had left the program to start Magnolia Village, a one-stop shop for women's services sadly unprecedented in your area. While the startup had been rough, your passionate duo had believed in the need and refused to say die, and from your mutual blood, sweat, and tears had blossomed a cornerstone of the local community. Over the years it had grown and extended its reach to thousands in need of support. Many of the staff were women who had first come through the door seeking services, and were now your partners in providing the aid they had found empowering in their hour of need.

You were immensely proud of what the two of you had built, but leaving the Village was bittersweet, as you were more confident than ever that it had grown into a well-oiled machine powered by lovely, capable people who could keep it going at full tilt without you.

"This place basically built itself, we just propped up the scaffolding," you remarked, glancing around the building fondly - what had once been a residential fixer-upper was now a cozy space of offices, a nurse's station, six emergency beds, sanitation services, and a food pantry

"Bitch, you know very well that I am the bulldozer and you are the heart and soul of this place. We are going to feel it when you leave. You better come back and visit us. Mirabell is going to do a good job filling your shoes, though. Watching her step up to the plate has been something else."

"It has," you nodded, "She's going to kick ass. You might just forget I was ever here by the end of next week."

Shauna turned uncharacteristically tearful eyes toward you.

"I will never forget you," she choked.

Then suddenly you were being crushed in a bear hug. You returned her embrace until you thought you might actually pass out from lack of oxygen.

"Okay, I love you, but I'm about to asphyxiate!" you wheezed, slapping her on the shoulder.

She let you go, but grabbed your arm and looked at you seriously.

"I want you to promise me one thing," she said, holding your gaze.

You cocked your head to the side. Shauna released your arm to clasp both your hands in hers.

"I want you to promise me that when you get to Korea, you find something that you're gonna do for yourself."

You started to respond but she stopped you.

"Something for yourself. It doesn't matter what it is, but it can't be for your soulmate, or your family, or anyone else however deserving...just you, okay?"

You looked at her quizzically.

"I do stuff for me..."

"Don't get swallowed up, baby girl. Find someone to ground you, to remind you that you're worth more than what you have to offer."

You scoffed.

"I'd like to see someone try and swallow me..."

"Y/n,"

"What?"

"Promise me."

"Okay," you nodded, "I promise."

Shauna squeezed your hands, then went back to chipping away at the mass of red crumbs and buttercream.

A little twinge of worry twisted in the pit of your stomach. You were strong. Resilient. No one could bounce back like you, could survive like you. People knew this - they had been telling you so since you were ten years old. So why was everyone acting like you were being cast out to sea without a life preserver?

You had spent the weekend with your family. Henry and Mercedes had even driven down, Elena in tow, to have one last Sunday dinner and see you off to the airport. Hugs and tears and small parting gifts had made leaving even harder than you had imagined.

When you finally boarded the plane your eyes were red and your head was throbbing. After the plane had gained enough altitude to allow you to unfasten your seat-belt, you had slipped into the restroom to rinse your face. You returned, plopping down next to the man who would accompany you during your first few days of transition.

"I'm getting booze when they wheel it by, Matt, so don't try to stop me," you huffed, gesticulating in mild threat with the book you had extracted from your carry-on at the suited figure sitting in the window seat.

The handsome older gentleman smiled, not lifting his eyes from the copy of the Korean Herald in his hands.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he responded, flipping a large, thin page.

Matt Anders had been many things to you in life. Before you were born, he had been your father's best friend. He had been the best man at your parent's wedding. He and his wife, Rebecca, had cared for you and your siblings during your mother's sanitarium stay. He had tutored you for the SAT score that had earned you a full ride to the university that had saddled you with a BS in social work and minor in English literature. Today, he was your attorney. Matt, who had an IQ of 146, had learned basic Korean so that he could translate for you and make sure that your interests were looked after as you settled in. Having him there made you feel one hundred percent more secure about the process. He, for instance, had been the one in negotiations to ask for the very cush business-class fight accommodations you were new settling into.

"Whatever you would do for him, you'll do for her. I want an equality of treatment clause added with no addendums."

You smiled to yourself as you remembered his exchange with the Hybe's representation. He had asked for things you would have never asked for yourself, and you felt better having access to them knowing that he felt you were deserving.

The flight attendant sweetly asked if you would require any refreshments. You asked for two whiskey and cokes, and handed one over to the man beside you. You took a long, refreshing sip.

"Damn it, I wish I had appreciated food more," you sighed, looking ruefully at your glass.

"What are you going to miss the most?" Matt asked before sampling his own beverage.

"Cheese. I can't believe I'm saying that, but in the end I just love cheese. And there are so many kinds I haven't tried. Do you know there's this Italian cheese that comes in the shape of a pear? It's super expensive because of the breed of cow the milk is sourced from. It's supposedly suuuuper creamy. But, hey, now I'll never know if it's as rich and complex as they say..."

You took another sip of your drink.

"Caciocavallo Podolico," Matt remarked casually, returning to his newspaper.

"Excuse me?"

"The cheese you described, it's called Caciocavallo Podolico," he reiterated.

"You know, I should be used to it now, but I'm not. Don't think I'll ever be. How on earth do you know this stuff?" you insisted incredulously.

"Read it once," he shrugged, "And it's actually pretty famous as far as cheeses go."

"Catch-a-vayo Picadillo..." you murmured.

"No," Matt interjected succinctly. "Anything you want to go over again? We have the time, Lord knows."

You sighed.

"Can't think of anything right now. What did you think of the list of questions I sent you?"

"Very good," he nodded, "I'll be adding a few of my own, that I think should come from me, if you don't mind."

You swirled the ice in your plastic cup.

"Of course not. Thanks again for coming with me, I'd be pretty lost without you."

Matt smiled at you again, reaching over to squeeze your arm.

"You'd do just fine. But you would be flying coach."

You smirked and cracked open your book. As you flipped to your marked page, a colorful, sturdy rectangle of paper fluttered to the ground at Matt's feet. He reached down and picked it up, regarding it with a curious eye before you could snatch it quickly away and tuck it back between the pages of My Antonia.

"New bookmark?" he queried.

"Something like that," you murmured.

You thought he might press you further about the Hangul characters he had surely noted on the back, but just then the captain's voice crackled over the intercom reiterating the weather conditions in Seoul and you took the opportunity to bury your nose back between the pages. You glanced clandestinely over at Matt, who had settled back into the Korean Herald, before pulling the little watercolor card from between the pages where it had been hurriedly concealed. Your eyes traced over the purple clematis trailing elegantly across the illustration as you wondered if 12 hours was, in fact, a millisecond or an eternity.

-End Ch. 1-

258 notes · View notes

justagalwhowrites · 1 month

Text

Someone New: Part of For You - A Collection of Requests Benefitting Palestine

Joel is new to Jackson and his family is eager to play matchmaker.

Event Terms: Commissioners could choose to donate between $15 and $50 via Ko-Fi for one fic of 1-2k words. Payment due after completion of the fic. Donation with a match by the author paid to PCRF upon completion. Commissioners had the option to choose to keep a fic private and all fics may not be shared here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC Ashley (NOT a reader insert)

Warnings: Smut :D Unprotected P in V sex. Daddy kink. Age gap (Joel is 56, Ashley is 40.) Light Dom!Joel and Sub!FOC. No use of Y/N. 18+ Only MINORS DNI

Length: 3.6k

For You Masterlist | Full Masterlist | AO3

A/N: Written as a request by the lovely @ashleyfilm! She requested "Jackson era Joel from the tv show, so Pedro, and me (Ashley, plus size, I’m 40, I have black hair and glasses, my eyes are blue green with some hazel, I have tattoos, I’m short. A little goth, wear all black where it’s possible in an apocalypse haha) in this scenario I have a cool exterior and I’m independent by nature, but when you get to know me I’m funny and loving, but keep to myself. Joel and I would both like each other but have no clue, while Tommy, Maria and Ellie would all know and roll their eyes at us, try and talk sense into us. Eventually we come together and I’d love some smut. Some daddy soft dom Joel, I’m sub, the only time I want to be told what to do is during sex. I like giving pussies a pronoun so like she likes it and her if you know what I mean. And some fluff would be nice too." Shared with permission. I hope you all enjoy!!

Tommy was starting to drive Joel insane.

It had taken some adjustment, coming to Jackson.

There was the adjustment of being back around other people at all, for starters. There was the adjustment to being a father again. There was the adjustment of being in a place he cared about, one where he wanted to contribute instead of forced to to keep FEDRA’s boot off his neck.

It had been a lot to swallow and, not that anyone was asking, he thought he’d done a damn good job of it. Ellie was happy, going to school every day and making friends. He had his ways to play his part in the community.

So what if he was doing it all on his own? It’s not like it’s a crime to keep to yourself, he wasn’t sure why Tommy kept trying to push him further than he wanted to go.

He doubted it was because Ashley was asking him to.

Ashley, the woman Tommy kept damn near throwing him toward at every opportunity. Ashley, who was years too young for him to even be thinking about the way he did. Ashley, whose plush curves and bright eyes had caught his attention from the moment he met her, even as she kept her distance from Joel and, it seemed, just about everyone else in Jackson.

It didn’t matter how much Joel would enjoy things being different, that the little time he’d spent with her had been some of his favorite since coming here. She wasn’t interested - couldn’t be interested - and he wasn’t about to force it.

Tommy, it seemed, had other ideas.

“I’m not sure why you won’t just see if she wants to go,” Tommy said one night as they sat in the mess hall for dinner. “What’s the harm?”

“Don’t particularly feel like gettin’ shot down,” Joel replied, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes. “Got enough goin’ on without worrying about that, too.”

“Worrying about what?” Maria asked, taking her spot next to Tommy. Joel resisted the urge to roll his eyes, knowing he was about to be outnumbered.

“Joel won’t ask Ashley to the dance on Saturday,” Tommy smirked a little. “He’s convinced she’d say no…”

“Who would say no to what?” Ellie joined them, too, sitting next to Joel.

“Ashley to Joel and the dance, apparently,” Maria said, giving Ellie a knowing look.

“Oh shit,” Ellie’s eyes went a little wide. “They’d be so cute together, Joel pretending to be a person who actually does something besides be grumpy…”

“OK you tryin’ to get yourself grounded?” Joel asked, brows raised. Ellie rolled her eyes. “Because it sure seems like it. And I don’t need y’all match making for me. I am doin’ just fine without worrying about all of that. Leave it.”

Ellie and Maria gave each other a knowing look that Joel was about to call them on when Tommy distracted him.

“You’re going to the dance Saturday anyway, right?” He asked. “Just because you’re too chicken shit to bring a date doesn’t mean you should sit it out. It’s a big party, the whole town will be there, you should at least come by for a few drinks. You’ll miss out if you don’t.”

“Yeah, I want to go!” Ellie said, turning to Joel and pouting a little. “You’re really going to make me go all by myself?”

“I’ll go to the dance,” Joel sighed before looking between the others and gesturing between them with the fork. “S’long as you three are done meddling.”

“We’ll behave,” Ellie smirked a little. “I promise.”

Joel shouldn’t have believed them. He should have known better.

But that didn’t make him any less surprised when he showed up to the dance Saturday evening and looked for Tommy and Maria, only to find them sitting with Ashley, her dark hair styled to pair with the black dress that seemed like it was made to highlight her every soft curve, curves that Joel had spent hours dreaming about exploring with his hands and mouth.

He was going to strangle Tommy.

“Joel!” His brother called, waving him over, as if Joel would have missed him. “Over here!”

“C’mon old man,” Ellie teased. “Stop being such a fucking coward.”

“We’re talking about your language later,” he muttered, letting Ellie lead him to the table, hoping that no one had put too much pressure on Ashley to put her in this position.

“Well look who decided to join the party,” Tommy smirked. Joel ground his teeth. “Ashley, you know my brother Joel.”

“I do,” she gave him a cool, tight smile and took a sip of her drink, looking back out toward the dance floor.

“Hi,” Joel said before feeling like a bit of an idiot and pulling his eyes from her to turn back to his brother. “How are you Tommy, Maria?”

“Oh, we’re good,” Maria smiled a little, looking more like Tommy than Joel thought was appropriate. He wondered if married couples started looking alike before too long.

“Just peachy,” Tommy said as a new song started. “Oh would you look at that, I need to dance with my wife. Maria?”

He offered her his hand and she smiled wider before taking it, giving Joel a meaningful look before being led onto the dance floor by her husband.

“Oh, I think I see Dina,” Ellie said before clapping Joel on the back and leaving him there, alone with Ashley, before he had the chance to argue.

Joel just stood there, awkwardly, trying not to stare at her, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans.

“So,” he said eventually. “Um… that seat taken?”

She looked at him, brows raised.

“Just by your brother.”

“Right,” he said, taking it anyway. She looked back toward the dance floor and Joel looked her over while he had the chance, how the darkness of her clothes seemed to suit her, the sharp intelligence behind her glasses, the beauty of the tattoos he could see on her exposed skin. He wondered what each of them meant, wondered what it would be like to take his time tracing over each one.

“So,” she turned her attention back to Joel. “Liking Jackson so far? Been here… what, a few months now?”

“Yeah,” Joel nodded. “S’good. Different than where I’ve been for a while but that’s a good thing. Ellie likes it, all that really matters.”

She nodded slowly, taking another sip of her drink.

“Seems like she’s a good kid,” she said. “Sure got a mouth on her, though.”

“Yeah,” Joel laughed, leaning his elbows onto the table. “She’s somethin’ else. I tried telling her she needs to watch her language, this ain’t the QZ.”

“That’s a hell of an adjustment,” she smiled a little and damn, Joel really liked to see her smile. More than he’d liked seeing a woman smile in… he wasn’t sure how long. “Trust me, I know.”

“You spent some time in a QZ?” He asked, brows raised.

She nodded, taking a final sip of her cocktail.

“Portland,” she said. “I was there at the beginning. One night, I was sneaking liquor at industry night at my favorite club, the next it’s a war zone. Got used to it after a while, though. You were in Boston with Tommy, right?”

“I was,” Joel nodded. “Took us a while to work our way there but found it eventually.”

“And you both ended up all the way out here.”

“Suppose so,” Joel said. He nodded to her empty glass. “Can I get you another?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “That’d be nice.”

He went to the bar and got them both a drink before rejoining her at the table.

Joel was surprised at how much he liked talking with her. For how much time he’d spent thinking about her and looking at her, he hadn’t spent much time actually talking with her. She wasn’t what he’d expected.

Where he’d always known her to be a bit distant and cool, he was starting to realize that, as soon as he was past the caution she seemed to approach the world with, she was really very warm and loving, thoughtful and kind. They talked about music, about what they missed about before, the quirks of life in Jackson after living in a QZ.

By the time Joel got her onto the dance floor, he was ready to get her home. And he was starting to think she wanted the same.

“Can I walk you home?” Joel asked as the Tipsy Bison was almost empty and he wasn’t able to come up with any more excuses to stay.

“You can,” she smiled. “But… I think I’d rather you walk me to yours.”

He smiled back.

“Think that can be arranged.”

Joel draped his arm over her shoulders and the two of them walked slowly through the dark town, the streets quiet and the stars bright.

“Well,” Joel said as they came to his front walk. “This is me. Still want to come in?”

“Yeah,” Ashley nodded. “Yeah, I really do.”

He smiled.

“Good.”

He took her hand and led her to his door.

But things shifted as they made it inside. Joel tilted her face up, finding the right angle, thumb brushing her lips, waiting for her to make a move.

But she didn’t. Her breaths got quicker, her eyes searched his and, after a moment, he felt like he couldn’t wait anymore.

“I’m gonna kiss you,” he said. “Because it’s all I’ve been thinkin’ about doing for a while.”

She just nodded quickly and he kissed her, covering her mouth with his.

It had been a while since Joel had kissed anyone, even longer since it was a first kiss. But Joel could tell this was different, something special. It was like an electric current ran over his skin, sparking at where your lips met and shooting out through the rest of him. There was a sharp, sudden pang of need deep inside him, the drive to be closer to her, as close as he could reach. More than that, he wanted to know that she was safe, cared for. That she had what she needed and what she wanted because he was giving it to her.

“Joel,” she breathed as they separated, just enough for him to look in those blue green eyes of hers. “Will you take me to bed?”

“Yeah baby,” he said, want seeping into his voice. “Yeah, I will.”

He kissed her again, his hands sliding down from her face to her arms to her waist, moving her toward the stairs as he did. He only pulled away from her when they needed to go up to his room, not wanting to stop touching her for even a few moments, his skin almost aching as he watched the round shape of her ass in her black skirt going upstairs ahead of him.

Joel pulled her back against him at the top of the stairs, the few seconds she was apart from him too much. Her arms stretched up and went around his neck and his hands roamed over her back and sides, luxuriating in just how soft she felt, how he could find places on her that seemed made for him to hold. He guided her to his room, kicking the door shut behind him. He slid his hands back up her body over her arms, his callused fingers slipping over her soft skin.

“You gonna let me make you feel good, pretty girl?” He asked, voice dark and low. “Because I want to touch every damn inch of you.”

“Please, Joel,” she whispered, her fingers tightening desperately on his curls at the nape of his neck. “Please, I want you, I need you, I…”

“Shhh,” he hushed her. “Don’t worry about a thing. Just let Daddy take care of you.”

He kissed her again and found the zipper on her dress, sliding it down, down, down, until he could slide the straps down her arms and let the fabric fall to the floor.

“Fuck,” he breathed, his eyes ranging over Ashley’s body, tracing over her curves and tattoos. “You are the most beautiful damn thing I’ve ever seen.”

He reached around and unhooked her bra, sliding the straps down her arms and dropping it to the floor before cupping her breasts, the fullness of her so soft below his touch that he couldn’t help but groan.

“You gonna let me take care of you, baby girl?” He asked, voice husky. “You need me to take care of you, don’t you?”

He wasn’t entirely sure why he said it but something inside him just knew, he could sense it in her. That she wanted someone to guide her, someone she could trust to take charge and give her what she needed.

He could tell by the way she nodded that he was right.

Joel guided her down onto the bed before pulling his shirt and casting it aside. His eyes ranged over her body as he took his jeans and underwear off, too, his cock already thick and achingly hard. He worked himself, not able to stop himself as he drank her in, memorizing her.

“Want you to touch yourself for me,” he said, stepping closer to the bed. “Spread those pretty legs, put your hand in your panties, show me how you like to touch yourself.”

She took a hesitant, shaky breath and slid her hand down her body before slipping them below the fabric, stretching it tight over her pussy for a moment before her hand dipped lower. He could see the outline of her fingers clearly, watched with his mouth watering as they stroked her pussy lips before slipping inside.

“There you go, baby girl,” he groaned, stroking his cock in time with her fingers. “You just keep on doin’ that for me.”

He moved to the bed and she frowned as he reached out, looping his fingers around the waistband of her panties to start tugging them down. His eyes moved from her face, down her body to where her pussy lay just below the fabric. Her fingers were still.

“I tell you to stop?” He asked. She groaned and he saw her fingers start to move again. “That’s my good girl. Want your pussy all nice and wet and full when I see her the first time.”

He pulled her underwear down slowly, revealing her wet slit with two of her fingers buried deep inside herself as he did.

“Oh, there she is,” he breathed, casting her panties aside. “Fuck, such a pretty little pussy ain’t she?”

Ashley just moaned, thrusting her fingers deeper. Joel licked his lips, desperate for a taste of her.

“Spread her open for me, baby,” he said, spreading her legs wide and settling between them. “Lemme see.”

Her hands trembled as she slid her fingers from her dripping entrance and delicately opened herself to him.

“Fuck me,” Joel groaned, taking a thumb and brushing it over her tight little hole before trailing it up to her swollen nub. “Gonna take a lot before she can take me. Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.”

He pressed his mouth to her entrance, just a kiss at first, a taste of her musky sweetness. His thumb stayed against her clit, rubbing her in slow and gentle circles as he dipped is tongue inside of her.

Joel started slow, easing her into it. His tongue worked deeper, his thumb harder. Eventually, he added a finger, then two, starting to stretch her open as her hips canted up against his face, her legs squirming, delicious moans and gasps pouring from her lips. He looped an arm around her thigh to hold her still, pulling her leg against the side of his head and leaving his nose to work her clit as his hand splayed wide on her plush thigh.

“Fuck, I’m going to come,” her back was arched, fingers wound tight in his quilt. “I’m coming, I’m coming Daddy, I’m coming!”

He smiled against her as he ate her through her orgasm, pressing his aching cock down into the bed as he felt her pussy flutter over his tongue.

When her climax eased, he pulled himself from her tight, wet heat and rose to his knees, stroking his dripping length as she came back down to earth. He nudged her legs apart and down, leaving her fully exposed to him. He ran his fingers over her slit, gathering her wetness and bringing it to his cock as she looked at him, her eyes a little wide.

“Is…” she swallowed, hard. “Is that going to fit inside me? I don’t know if that’s going to fit…”

“It’ll fit, baby girl,” he said, working himself as he lined himself up with her entrance. “You can take it, so nice and wet for me. You just relax and let me inside you.”

He pressed his cock against her tight center, moaning and just how hot and wet and fucking soft she felt. He watched, almost obsessed, as she opened to take him, the stretch almost obscene as he saw himself start to disappear into her body.

“See baby?” He panted as he sank just the first few inches of him into her cunt. “You can take it, taking it so good for me. She stretches so fuckin’ pretty for me, so goddamn pretty.”

Her hands flew to his biceps as he leaned over her, pressing himself deeper, her fingers scrambling over his muscle as he worked her open. Joel fought to think of anything but the fact that he was almost fully inside the woman he’d been longing for for weeks now. He couldn’t come too quick, he couldn’t let this end now. He had to take his time, had to feel her come around him.

And then he was buried inside her to the root, the entirety of him in the entirety of her, her walls stretching to hold him.

“There you go,” he praised her. He splayed his hand wide over her thick, soft lower stomach, pressing into her skin as his thumb slid down to her clit and started stroking it. “Did so good, taking me so well. You ever been this stretched baby?”

“No daddy,” her nails dug into his arm. “Feels so good…”

“Good girl,” he said, working her clit a little harder. She moaned and rocked her hips against him. “Aw, does someone need to be fucked? Someone need me to make her come?”

“Yes,” she pleaded. “Please, please, please Daddy, please, I need to come, I need…”

“I’ve got you baby,” he said, leaning over her and kissing her deeply, the taste of her mouth mixing with the taste of her pussy that lingered on his tongue. “Gonna make you come so hard for me.”

He pulled back before thrusting forward, hard and fast and making her gasp, her hands flying from his arms to his back. But he stopped her, taking hold of her arms and pinning them over her head with one of his large hands.

“You can use those when I tell you,” he said. “Right now, need you focused on taking,” he pulled back and thrust back in quickly. “This.” He did it again, fucking into her hard and fast. “Cock.” He did it one last time before grinding himself deep. “Tell me when you’re about to come.”

He picked up his pace then, fucking into her deep and firm, grinding his hips down against her clit, feeling how her breasts moved against him as he forced her walls apart with each heavy stroke.

Joel didn’t let up, too lost in her and just how damn good she felt to do anything else. He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been fucking her - just that it wasn’t long enough - when her breathy, desperate voice broke through the lust-driven haze of his mind.

“I’m gonna come,” she keened, her pussy to tight around him that it almost hurt. “Gonna come, I’m gonna come Daddy, please…”

He freed her hands then and she gasped, her fingers immediately finding the broad expanse of his back. Joel took her face in his hands and looked into those eyes of hers, unlike anything else he’d ever seen as he felt how her body took his.

“Good girl,” he said, breathless and needy, too. “Come for me, come all over my cock, that’s it, so good for me…”

The chorus of praise continued until she cried out, her whole body seizing as her channel gripped him so tight he was almost afraid it would force him out. But he held himself deep inside her, kissing her as she moaned into his mouth as she throbbed around him. His orgasm took hold, amazed for the half second he was aware enough to think that he’d been able to hold off this long, emptying himself deep inside of her.

“Fuck,” she moaned, panting for breath as they both came down from their shared high. Joel had all but collapsed on top of her and he adjusted, pulling himself gently from her body and feeling their combined spend leaking from her as he did. He lay beside her and she turned to look at him. “That… I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like that.”

He smiled a little.

“Me either.”

She smiled back.

“I think we’ll have to do that again sometime,” she said.

“Only if you let me take you out first,” Joel said. “Don’t think I can get enough of you in bed. Think I’m gonna need as much as you’ll let me have outside it, too.”

Ashley reached out and carded her fingers through his thick, shaggy curls.

“I think we can make that work.”

#fanfic #joel miller x oc #smut fic #daddy k!nk #dom!joel miller #for you

29 notes · View notes