Hi, I read in one of your posts that you "almost have a masters degree in motivating the unwilling" and I just wanna say please. Halp. I'm ruining my life by being the way I am and I can't stop. Everybody talks about my "immense potential" and how it's "such a waste of intelligence" for me to be the way that I am. I'm honestly drowning.

Oh wow. If I had a dollar for every time somebody told me that, I'd be able to afford a life coach for my ownself, lol. I have a pretty significant little alphabet soup of disorders to my name, but I didn't get diagnosed with any of them until my early 30s. What that means is that I had to find ways to compensate for my shitshow of a brain, so I have a lot of tips and tricks. I'm currently working on my doctorate as well, so I'm doing lots of research around mental heath, focusing on teen mental health since I work with teens every day.

First off, you're not ruining your life. You're just living it. Your life isn't something that needs to be put through the wash and purified. It is what it is, and you are who you are. The fact that you're here and breathing and *wanting* to improve are already wonderful things. You're doing okay. ^_^

Next, think about what you want your life to look like. This is a good journalling prompt. There's no wrong way to do this. You can get really specific, right down to the new furniture you'd like to fill your space with; you can have just big picture stuff: "I want to survive high school" or "I want to wake up looking forward to the day." Try to think in positive terms rather than negative. I don't mean "I want to feel happy!" necessarily: but think of things with positive *action*: instead of "I don't want to feel miserable," which is a negative, something you want to subtract from your life, think of a positive: "I want to feel better," "I want to re-connect with an old hobby," "I want to start a diary," things like that. It's easier, sometimes, for our weird monkey brains, if we start off *adding* something new instead of *stopping* something old...even if the "something old" is part of what makes us miserable.

For example, a lot of people want to stop smoking. Quitting cold-turkey is possible, sure, but it's a god-awful experience. Instead of thinking of it as "subtracting" smoking, a better approach would be to ADD something new that can slowly start taking its place. An example in this scenario would be to add in another oral treat you enjoy (I see your mind in the gutter, hello, nice place!) that can take the place of just one smoke a day. A really nice chocolate truffle, or some spicy crunchy chips, or a fancy lollipop. That way, your brain isn't necessarily feeling a *deprivation* or the lack of something it has come to expect, but you're still lowering your daily nicotine consumption.

So that might be the easiest way to start. Look at any habits you might have that don't make you feel good, or that you don't want to carry with you into your future. I don't want to call them "bad habits" because that implies a judgment call, which I am NOT qualified to make about your lived experiences. Obviously, that habit served its purpose for you at some point! But if it's no longer serving you, try to slowly replace it with something that does. Think of it as a shift rather than a removal, and your brain will tolerate the change more easily.

If you wanna get more specific, feel free to DM me, @justanexistentialcrisisnbd ^_^

Today I caught myself not following trans and transgender tags on here because of that deep feeling of "keep it hidden"

No. I may not be fully out yet. But, dammit. I'm not hiding my lady-ness anymore.

It's gonna take time to get over the subconscious fear of having my literal everything gone through. But those times are YEARS behind me. I have a wonderfully supportive partner. My abuser can't get to me anymore.

Fuck that. I am a beautiful woman. Even if the outside doesn't quite match yet.

It will soon enough.

I DID IT LADS

I EARNED THE BUNGER

for context, my bf had a deal with me where if I didn't double down on anything self deprecating that I said (aka if I make a self deprecating joke thats OK as long as I acknowledge it isn't true, but a full insult isnt allowed) he'd buy me the bunger plushie

I lasted 3 months - definitely earned that bunger. I'm so proud of myself!!!!

new rules to replace the old secret rules when reading for pleasure:

Remember that I am reading for pleasure.

I do not have to read the sequel.

I do not have to finish the series.

I do not have to complete books that do not meet my current needs /expectations / desires.

Set boundaries and course correct.

Made Different

I was sitting here earlier watching the outside cats. All my morning routine had been done, with the exception of the morning call from my mother. So I was waiting. As I sat here I noticed the last formally feral cat who was spayed. As those who adopted one or more of her babies know, she had beautiful kittens. The thing was and is, female cats will reproduce at a frightening rate. This cat, who…

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ever since i was little ive had an awful issue with biting my nails. i don't know it it was because i was bored, anxious, or what. but it was terrible. late last year it got so bad my hands would bleed and i decided i was stopping. i was done having terrible nails and i bought that gross nasty nailpolish stuff and i started taking care of my hands. anyways the pictures on the top are from November 8th, 2023 and the pictures on the bottom are from January 21st, 2024. im so proud of myself. i've bought a bunch of polishes and i've been doing my own nails and i get so many compliments. it's boosted my confidence so high. i can scratch "stop biting my nails" off of my bucket list (:

The Science Behind Food Addiction: Understanding the Pull of Junk Food 5

In a world filled with tantalizing treats and mouthwatering morsels, have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to resist the allure of junk food? Dive into the fascinating realm of food addiction as we uncover the extraordinary science behind our irresistible cravings. Unraveling the Mysteries of Food Addiction What is Food Addiction? Food addiction isn’t just a lack of willpower; it’s a complex…

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What I Haven't Seen

Fasting from social media(except this one) and eating very strictly to improve myself. Gonna be an interesting week.

Sometimes I wanna send out a psychic beam to every tumblr user that just says "stop reblogging unsourced screenshots of tweets about current events like they're news articles because that is the absolute easiest way to spread misinformation"

reblog things when they are sourced and also LOOK AT THE SOURCES. are they credible? is there any bias? use your BRAIN. Activism is useless at best and dangerous at worst when all you have is incorrect information. And hey, if you go out and look for a source based on a screenshotted tweet and it turns out to be true? Link the fucking article so others can see it too.

In case you didn't catch it on Twitter this morning, Netflix approached me to do an illustration to celebrate the launch of Sonic Prime. Lot's of fun to put it together, and try out the new designs!

Got some WIPs I saved along the way as well~

Hold On Hope

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realistically i know that if caleb is actually a ghost and not a goop-induced hallucination and hunter interacts with him in the finale it will be like. viscerally upsetting for everyone involved. but also. i want them to two spidermans

do u see the vision.

simon the type to keep a spray bottle within his reach, for you;

you slouch? one spray to the nape of your neck

you bite/chew your nails, god forbid? two aggressive spritzes to your face