i miss him

i have just learned today that "i love you" is such a strong phrase. it was thrown around by me to other people and other people to me all through school, so it has lost all meaning to me. but i've been seeing someone lately and we haven't said i love you. i was wondering like why i shouldn't yet? is there a reason? and apparently it holds so much meaning people wait months to say it? like i love him now. i've known him since i was a kid and now we're in our 20's, but haven't seen eachother for a long time. but i have always loved him. i'm not sure what is so heavy about me saying it. so now i feel like im holding it back every day i see him, because u don't want to scare him by moving too fast. but it's true.

iykyk (gay repression metaphor that rhymes with rat gex)

That one Holic episode where Yūko warns Watanuki against superstitions and he's like, "Yeah, right" and then proceeds to get fucked up. I'd understand it if it were literally any person saying that, but you have been a literal SNACK to weird supernatural creatures since your conception (by virtue of your conception, even), and you still have the chest to say "Superstitions are for losers", even ignoring the fact that Yūko is getting shit faced with a sentient manju ball at your expense each night. This is why Doumeki is always 🤨 in Watanuki's presense.

Tons of people crying while marching to their death, but Hua Cheng, having an adorable little moment since his beloved touched his hand 😏

The moon hears me talk about you every night.

i reconnected with an ex from middle/high school. we hung out a few years ago but i was really not mentally well and cut him off twice. i reached out again monday and apologized for my actions and we hung out yesterday. i swear this is a case of right person wrong time. we have both matured so much and i am finding myself driving wishing he was in my passenger seat. he is the only person ive ever been able to imagine myself kissing, or hugging, taking a nap with. the only one. he could do anything and i would still be in love with him.

nothing changes if nothing changes

i'm getting some test results back this week that could be nothing, or could be that i'm dying. and i just kind of wish it's that i only have so long left. i hate trying to figure out my life. i have a dream of what i want to do but i just am so overwhelmed. i have to choose an alternative but that goes against all of what u believe in. you only live once so do what you want to do. but i can't. i am so tired i cant complete my degree for what will get me where i want to be im going to be stuck here forever. i just kind of wish that i only have so long so that i can take all the money i have, move where i want to move and spend time there while i can and not worry about anything.

me : i'm going to start engaging more on my instagram account. posting daily and interacting with people!

*gets shadowbanned*

just got a payment request from amiami

*sobs in broke*

[sitting completely still in my own bed] this world is gutting me like a fish

was about to buy myself a little treat but then remembered that i am on a no spending thing 😭 boba gods send me boba!!!

welcome to the nhk

sometimes i'm not sure if i need a therapist or not. i mean i know everyone can benefit from one. but im just so awful at talking to people. i feel like talking to figure it out won't help me, lately ive been realizing that my father probably has more of an impact on my mental health than i thought and realizing that has sent me into a spiral. i know a therapist would have pointed that out right away, and just, i dont want that connection? i just wish i was sad for no reason. i dont want it connected to things. i dont know if that makes sense.

life hack

if you SH spend an insane amount of money on laser hair removal. you be too scared to SH inbetween appointments and if you do your laser person will see them and ask.

oyasumi punpun ruined my life