you can't just fake emotions out of nothing, you can't just invent new ways for the brain to feel, even showfall can't do that. you can force emotions and change perspective, but those emotions are based on something, which is real and human

Well I'm 30% axolotl and called a vampire frequently, along with the things fucking ancient dickhead decides to say here and the occasional bullshit other DP's and department heads say that I overhear about my personality.

So, not exactly human. Built different, like I said, hope that helps you fuckers get it.

Eric Bogosian in Talk Radio (1988) Luke Brandon Field in Interview With The Vampire (2022 - )

louis was like "this is the love of my life...... the vampire armand....."

and I was like "girl...... you're both bottoms...... traumatized bottoms with daddy issues....... where are ur shitty boyfriends??????"

louis and armand out here having the world's most boring pathetic sex, they're like "we're so healthy, we have grown past our shitty-boyfriend-having phase, now we're always Safe Sane And Consensual 😌 we don't have unhinged sex anymore 😌😌😌" they are going insane. this is why louis is having a mental breakdown. he's been having intensely hinged sex for 77 years, like 100% slow lovemaking with clear communication and so much lube and always "one finger, two finger, three finger, cock" and the traffic-light consent system in place even though they don't practice any kinks that would involve words like "stop" and "hang on a sec" meaning anything but literally that. no one in this house has been rimmed in 77 years. Every night they have a very polite Discussion (it's not an argument, it's not) about whose turn it is to top because nobody here wants to. louis is not built to handle this psychologically. lestat's going to text him "hey mon cher miss u sooooo much i can't live without you, haha i got your number by killing some people at your phone company, actually several phone companies because i didn't know which network you're on, anyway come over and sit on my face WINK WINK i'll do that thing you like so much, you know the one!! the one where you're always like 'ew lestat you're so gross' but then it makes you come so hard you pass out [eggplant emoji, eggplant emoji, water drops emoji, blood drop emoji]" louis is going to see these texts and go into a fugue state and be OUT! THAT! DOOR! in nanoseconds. NANOSECONDS!!!! meanwhile lestat is double- and triple- and quadruple-texting about how he's always wanted to try roadhead and blithely using words like "pussy" in reference to louis' anatomy without asking if that's cool and also sending seven unsolicited dick pics clearly taken in an airplane bathroom

armand has never sent a dick pic in his life, even a solicited one, because it's "crass" and there are "privacy concerns" and he's "unsatisfied with the current standard of end-to-end encryption technology". lestat doesn't even know what end-to-end encryption is, and if he did he wouldn't care about it because "if a hacker is going to all that trouble to look at my nude photographs, louis, i think they've earned them :))) even though they could just follow me on instagram and tiktok or sign up for my onlyfans" this is why armand about to get dumped at terminal velocity. he doesn't even have instagram.

i’m being so serious rn if assad zaman isn’t rawdogging eric bogosian on my tv screen in s2 i am going to raise anne rice from the grave and telling her that AMC is writing fanfiction and she needs to sue them

I'm. Uh. Well. There is MUCH to unpack here. I have follow-up questions.

Weird & Wonderful Wednesday

I was intrigued by this because the blurb said that Elisa, the main character, was born a vampire, not made into a vampire. That sounded interesting.

Elisa has been in Paris, but, comes back to Chicago because someone is needed to get the different Chicago Vampire factions to talk peace. Of course, it’s not that easy. She has a secret, and, the vampires and other supernatural beings all have secrets too. So, yep, lots and lots and lots of drama to be had. Which was awesome!

I don’t think that I’ve read the Chicagoland Vampires novels, the series that this is a spinoff of. But, honestly, although I may have missed some deep text things here and there, as a story I never felt like me not having read the previous series hurt (come to find out, apparently this series takes place 20 years or so later, which would explain why I wasn’t totally lost, but, also, definitely a sign of good writing too.

You may like this book If you Liked: House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas, Shadow Rites by Faith Hunter, or The Rook by Daniel O'Malley

Wild Hunger: An Heirs of Chicagoland Novel by Chloe Neill

you know what i think armand really hid those pages of claudia's diary not because they show his involvement in her unjust killing but because her bitching about him was so poignant and truthful her shit talking so profoundly real her dragging abilities so disarming he couldn't ever possibly show his face in public ever again

👇🏼

Angie/Maddie🦇❥✝︎🇺🇸

if smeyer wasn't a coward vamp!Bella would have immediately eaten her daughter Rensesmem whole-hog like Saturn Devouring His Son

late halloweeen dooodleee

ITZY ✴︎ BORN TO BE special edition scan

Not the serious gay vampires interview show dropping its trailer on the same day as the unserious gay vampires interview show craziest episode thus making me realise how DEEPLY unserious the second one is😭😭😭

silas straud / alice lockwood

First day of Halloween how we doing folks!!!

People have been making Sun a werewolf and Moon a vampire and I wanted to do my take on that

He’s not really a wolf here but he sure is a Beaft

i swear they’re nice 😭

saw this and immediately thought of kastle and klaroline!