found this off Facebook & thought it was so funny 😂

Comic from my senior thesis about psychosis recovery

Bipolar, part 1.

It's not as simple as 'reaching out'

I HATE when people state that people with mental illness have to reach out for help and can't expect people to deal with them until they heal, as if it's as simple as calling a helpline and then we're miraculously cured.

For the past 10 years I have been 'reaching out'. I have seen psychologists, counsellors, psychiatrists, social workers, peer support workers. I've been hospitalised 9 times (3 of which I was involuntarily sectioned). I've tried 15 different psychotropic medications including anti-depressants, mood stabilisers & anti-psychotics. I've tried countless forms of therapy - DBT, ACT, CBT, Art/ music therapy, schema, cognitive analytical therapy etc.

I have reached out and was met with: 18 month waiting lists for specialist help Dismissive & gaslighting doctors who don't listen or even want to help Therapists who refuse to work with me because of my BPD diagnosis Being told I'm 'too complex' and my conditions are never going to get better Being completely sedated by medication because doctors would rather me not be an issue to others instead of actually helping me

Blamed for the abuse I sustained as a child and traumatising things that have happened to me and being completely re-traumatised

All this and then I get the honour of paying $200p/h for these 'professionals' to 'help' me.

I have been dehumanised and vilified by almost every doctor/ psych I have seen over the past 10 years. Not listened to , over medicated and left hollowed out, worse off and hopeless; so no... it's not as simple as 'reaching out' and mentally ill people deserve healthy relationships even if we aren't in therapy.

I see so many memes for other mental disorders so I decided to make some for my bipolar besties <3

idk who needs to hear this but your manic episodes are valid even if you don’t think you’re actions were “crazy” enough

An episode of mania almost always always always starts out so euphorically, makes you feel like you’re on the perfect drug, makes your confidence and motivation sky rocket and has you romanticizing all the fun it baits you with. It feels so amazing, you feel like nothing can hurt you or get to you.

Then the irritability comes, genuine rage, such an uncomfortable and overwhelming increase in libido, dangerous impulses, social behavior to be humiliated from by the time you crash, severe sleep deprivation that disorients the fuck out of you the longer you go without it, without even feeling tired at all. But feeling completely out of control. And if it escalates, Lord help you. Hallucinations, bad paranoia, black outs, substance abuse (or relapse if you happen to be recovering), delusions, everything that could get you into a psych ward. It isn’t fun at the end and any pleasure you feel is completely illusionary.

The worst part is I still normally never want it to stop. Because the depression after, which gets so ugly and terrible the longer, more intense the mania is, is something I’m not looking forward to at all. That, and mania can really sometimes convince you that you love it. I’m not wanting to go there though, because I have a lot to lose. Even if I don’t lose anything, I’m tired of this cycle and just can’t afford to desire it anymore. So I’m managing where I can, but wow it’s just scary to watch it take you higher and higher into it, and further and further away from yourself.

This is precisely why I despise any sort of stigma toward bipolar disorder. It’s so misunderstood, misquoted, and mistreated. I just really want and need some help. My hands are so sweaty and shaky, my heart and my mind are racing, I can’t stop talking, I can’t eat. I can’t focus, I can only fixate. And it’s just so overwhelming already.

Being medicated doesn't mean becoming normal.

There's this trope I've seen in media, mentally ill that take meds and suddenly become neurotypical. To me this was a harmful fantasy, thinking that medicine means cure, and a fast one.

The reality of meds is often disappointing. You still find your limitations and differences. Lots of underground symptoms and sensitivities don't ever vanish.

Being bipolar myself it often left me perplexed, the fact that I was receiving correct treatment, but still struggled. Not with acute episodes, just a baby version of previous symptoms.

I'm trying to accept bipolar as my personal disability. I figured that medicine is my support, like a cane could be for those with physical disabilities. It means I'm still not like the rest and I will always struggle, but man is it nice to have some help...

DPR IAN - Don’t go insaneʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ

i’ll never be the same after this mv, DPR IAN really is one of the best artists out there

little miss muffet sitting on her tuffet 😍🐱

The hypomania experience is everyone thinking you're on drugs because of your behaviour

Bipolar, part 2.

Part one here.

Giving away all your possessions & living out of boxes, so you don’t leave a mess behind for your loved ones to deal with>>>

to all of my fellow bipolar havers out there: do y'all get songs stuck in your head when manic or hypomanic? i'm not talking about your average earwig, i'm asking if you get the same song stuck in your head for HOURS. if you aren't listening to other music or having a conversation, it's there. it might make it hard to sleep or concentrate. for me, it's usually a very short yet memorable section of the song that repeats like a broken record. i sometimes get songs stuck in my head when i'm not hypomanic, but this is always an indicator of when my mood is in flux bc of how consistent it is as a marker for me and how much it interferes with my thought process.

am i alone in this? i can't find anything in the medical literature about this regarding bipolar in particular, just ocd.