Dealing with weight gain and self acceptance

Weight gain is a sensitive topic for me. For the last 3 months I have been gaining weight after restrictive eating for a long time. I have been struggling with this new-found food freedom, hence developing BED. I have isolated myself and gone through extreme lows. I’ve tried fasting to get back to my old weight, then end up back at square one. 

But I’m finally ready to share what I've learnt in hopes of helping:

It’s ok, weight fluctuates: As I grow older and change, my body changes with me, and even things around me are constantly changing. I have to accept the change and realise that I cannot control everything. I cannot count every calorie and wonder if I’m staying within my limit. It’s not a nice way to live life in constant fear and worry.

Making peace with my body: I’m tired of hating my body. Even at my lowest weight, I didn’t like my body. My maintained weight throughout the most of the last year was 42kgs. At that weight I was still not happy nor confident. I didn’t fit in any clothes and I really wanted some curves. I hated my body but I loved being skinny and having that ‘control’. Through my weight gain, I started being even more hateful towards my body, until I realised that I am ungrateful, and no matter at what weight I am, I will find and fixate on the things I don’t like. I am finally making peace with my body and thanking it for all that it’s got me through. I love my new cute curves. I love my fuller cheeks. My body has changed and I am beautiful regardless of ever-changing beauty standards.

My fierce WaRrIoRs❣️ Such a true statement 🤗 You are the only one that has full access to your brain and body to know what improvements you have made❣️ I salute your progress and commend you for all your achievements especially the ones that go unnoticed by others❣️😘🦄🌈🦄🌈🦄💖 #progressnotperfection #movingmountains #chosen #thechosen #ocdproblems #adhdproblems #moodboosterweek #improvingmyself #improvingeveryday #poopunicorns #craprainbows #rachaelsroadtorecovery #bipolar #bingerestrict #bingeeatingsupport #osfedrecovery #arfidrecovery #ednoswarrior #anorexia #anorexiafighter #atypicalanorexia #eatingdisordersupport #disorderedeatingrecovery #depressionsupport #chronicpain #chronicillness #chooserecovery #bettertogether #mentalhealthadvocates #mentalhealthadvocacy https://www.instagram.com/p/ChGLKIXPWmG/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

. Even far down the road from now when you've been fully recovered for years You'll still have to be mindful of the person you used to be. There will still be little things that you'll have to do To protect the newer version of yourself from slipping back into old ways. Just as someone who has an allergy or food intolerance makes sure not to eat or come in contact with those things You must do your best to avoid situations that could awaken the nasty little voice that tries to draw you back to old habits Perhaps this is making sure to pack a snack when you know you'll be out for awhile Or maybe its making sure not to try on clothes you know are too small Or spending prolonged periods of time around people who only talk about dieting These things will be different for everyone And having to do them is not a consequence of having been sick...it's basic self-care. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. It's not a chore, it's a blessing. ❤ . . #mindfulrecovery #babesinbusiness #healingfromed #anorexianervosarecovery #balancednotclean #nomoremia #bodyimagehealing #bingeeatinghelp #ednosfamily #ednosrecovery #bulimiarecovery #edfighter #bodydysmorphicdisorder #holisticwellness #holisticrecovery #recoveringfromana #bingeeatingsupport #nomoreana #nourishtoflourish #thesoulfillmentapproach #recoveryispossible #edrecoverycoach #recoverylifestyle #selfcaredaily #gabrielpark #fallphotoshoots #diethelp #hotbodygoals (at Portland, Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsA9Vk-AdL5/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9dschfleylli

The cure for emotional eating is clearing away those emotions, then we can fulfill our objectives and lose weight. Binge eating happens when we seek to end some emotion that is bothering us. It isn’t so much about the food, the flavor, the quantities as it is about emotion. Out of the emotions we talk about then come all addictions, binge eating and depression. We feel bad and unsettled, our bodies are tense, we seek coping mechanisms like food. The solution is when emotions arise, Instead of scaping and seeing it as if it’s the end, stay present, focus on your breath or on anything that you want, let the tension in your body stop. Distraction is also another great way to achieve this. Let your mind reset itself. When you get engaged with most of your attention on the other thing you’re doing to distract yourself, when you forget everything it will work. _______________________________________ #bingeeating #bingeeatingrecovery #overeating #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #bingeeatingdisoder #bingeeatinghelp #bingeeatingsupport #overeatingrecovery #foodaddiction #foodaddictionisreal #foodfreedom #relationshipwithfood #weightloss #diet #fallingoffthewagon https://www.instagram.com/p/B-xO3P3gsAn/?igshid=1wjkdgzm49jvz

🦄 17 year old Devon vs. 26 year old Devon 😂#transformationtuesday #weightloss #130lbsdown #fitness #balance #macros #yoga #weightlifting #iifym #chickswholift #blog #lifestyle #travel #bingeeatingsupport

All foods can fit! Our St. Louis Residential clients celebrated national chocolate ice cream day yesterday. 😍 If you ...

All foods can fit! Our St. Louis Residential clients celebrated national chocolate ice cream day yesterday. 😍 If you missed it, you could make it up today! (Maybe tomorrow, too!) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #NationalChocolateIcecreamDay #antidietculture #chocolate #yum #icecream #chocolatelovers #edrecovery #eatingdisordertreatment #stlouis #mo #grateful #dietsdontwork #OSFEDtreatment #ARFIDtreatment #BED #bingeeatingsupport #anorexiarecovery #bulimiasupport #health #healing #recovery #edrecoveryjourney

from https://www.instagram.com/p/CP3SsWIL1Bc

All foods can fit! Our St. Louis Residential clients celebrated national chocolate ice cream day yesterday. 😍 If you missed it, you could make it up today! (Maybe tomorrow, too!) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #NationalChocolateIcecreamDay #antidietculture #chocolate #yum #icecream #chocolatelovers #edrecovery #eatingdisordertreatment #stlouis #mo #grateful #dietsdontwork #OSFEDtreatment #ARFIDtreatment #BED #bingeeatingsupport #anorexiarecovery #bulimiasupport #health #healing #recovery #edrecoveryjourney

via Alsana News and Videos

Thank you to my sweet Kel for this post❣️ Mental illnesses don’t just fix themselves ❤️‍🩹 Recovery can be an arduous process that takes great effort and action❤️‍🩹🥰😘❤️💖 #recoverystories #recoverysupport #recoverysayings #actionsteps #anorexiafight #anorexianervosarecovery #bulimia #bulimiafighter #bulimianervosarecovery #bingeeatingdisoder #bingeeatingsupport #orthorexia #orthorexiarecovery #depressionhelp #depressive #mooddisorders #anxietydisorders #anxietyattack #anxietysupport #panicdisorder #panicdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisordersupport #arfid #arfidrecovery #osfed #osfedrecovery #mentalillnessrecovery #mentalhealthmatters #rachaelsroadtorecovery https://www.instagram.com/p/CXXzlL9LLPH/?utm_medium=tumblr

Feeling triggered can bring you to your knees or maladaptive behaviors at times so let’s armor up with coping tools 💪🏼👍🏼💖#triggered #trigger #triggers #rachaelsroadtorecovery #thebodykeepsthescore #imtriggered #triggering #sighttrigger #soundtrigger #wordtrigger #smelltrigger #ocd #ocdrecovery #edrecoverycommunity #bpdrecovery #bingeeatingsupport #depressionrecovery #anxietyrecovery #panicattack #panicrecovery #ptsdrecovery #complexptsdrecovery #rachaelsroadtorecovery #eatingdisordertriggers #fearlessmotivation #onestepcloser #progressnotperfection #perfectionisttriggers #perfectionism #perfectionisoverrated #youareenough https://www.instagram.com/p/CRa2re5pt8O/?utm_medium=tumblr

Have you tried any of these? Other things that have helped you? No shame in the game ❤️ #bingeeating #bingeeatingrecovery #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #binge #bingeeatingdisoder #bingeeatinghelp #bingeeatingsupport #bingeeatingsurvivor https://www.instagram.com/p/CM_Vt-XJmgL/?igshid=qxryuu1gi7og

. WHAT SHOULD I EAT? . Okay, I’m not gonna lie I’m a little anxious to write this post 😬 . When I was in the depth of struggling with multiple eating disorders I was TERRIFIED of not having 100% control over every little thing that entered my body . If I wasn’t freaking out about over what I was eating Or how much I was obsessing over how it balanced & played out with all the other things I was eating that day . I had SO MANY rules I had to follow Some of them I made up And others I read about online or heard about in documentaries or books They ALL, however, controlled my life By making me think I had to over-analyze & micromanage everything I ate In order to be “healthy” . Well, I’ve since recovered from that mindset And no longer freak out over what is in my food or how much there is BUT I have yet to challenge the discomfort I used to have over letting others choose what I eat And I’m determined to prove to myself that this is no longer an issue . SO We’re gonna give it a go And I’m going to let you guys decide what I eat for an entire day! . I’ll even do it multiple times Depending on how many of you submit ideas! . If you’d like to decide what I eat for an entire day (meals, snacks, desserts, etc.) . Leave your ideas or “menus” in a comment below or send them to me in a message! . I’m kind of nervous to be honest… but excited, too So, let’s do this! I can’t wait to see what you come up with 😊 . Xoxo Breh . . . #mindfulrecovery #fearfoodchallenge #healingfromed #anorexianervosarecovery #balancednotclean #nomoremia #bodyimagehealing #bingeeatinghelp #ednosfamily #ednosrecovery #bulimiarecovery #edfighter #bodydysmorphicdisorder #holisticwellness #holisticrecovery #recoveringfromana #bingeeatingsupport #nomoreana #nourishtoflourish #thesoulfillmentapproach #recoveryispossible #edrecoverycoach #recoverylifestyle #selfcaredaily #nofearfoodshere #foodfreedom #diethelp #intuitiveeating (at National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx3cX9_pp-n/?igshid=g5626uqgm33x

My pre- #Whole30 attitude! Starting prep and excited to see what this month brings. I'll have a new blog up tomorrow! If you've done it before let me know if you have any tips that helped you along the way! #130lbsdown #weightlosstransformation #bingeeatingsupport #blog #fitness #lifestyle #weightlifting #balance

Time for that #whole30. I start Friday! 😂😎 I'll be blogging/vlogging every day. I'm gonna be using everyone and everything to keep me accountable and motivated. 😭 I'm sure you'll catch some daily crying as well. Time to reset my body and feel my best. I'm READY. 🌈😂😘 #bingeeatingsupport #fitness #130lbsdown #weightloss #macros #yoga #weightlifting #balance #blogger #lifestyle #weightlosstransformation

It was very easy today. Too easy. 😎 I ate great today and I feel happy and hydrated. I had a headache earlier but I don't think that's because of any diet changes. Just spent it mostly in the sunshine ☀️ I ate salmon, eggs, chicken, peppers, and salad today. It was all very tasty and filling. I'm looking forward to tomorrow! I'm gonna try some new recipes (: my motivation is 10/10. This we will see how my discipline holds out in a few days! 😭😆 #whole30 #whole30challenge #130lbsdown #weightlifting #yoga #bingeeatingsupport #fitness #blog #travel #lifestyle #health #coaching

Feeling stuck?

If anyone is interested I started a completely free 1-on-1 program through my email at [email protected] - I've been putting together grocery lists, beginner exercises, and VERY flexible eating plans for some of the girls I've been working with on FB.

It's been received really well and I'm actually considering writing more and more on this approach. I'm obviously not a certified coach or a dietician but I really enjoy working with girls on daily check-ins (Especially when it relates to binge eating). My attitude regarding weight loss is very simple and habit driven. Making small concessions through out the day that add up to your ultimate goal - then progressing forward.

No overhauling your life, no strict diets, and no depriving yourself. Just kind of changing your mind set and relationship with food and finding healthier alternatives that you enjoy. If you're interested just email me there, or post in here and I'll send you everything I have in the next couple days. If you'd like to work with me daily or weekly I'm also available and taking on 7-8 people every 3 weeks. This isn't just for weight loss, it's for mindfulness. I don't want to give you the fish, I want to teach you HOW to fish. Only you can decide what your approach will be, I'm just here to be a helping hand along the way. Love you guys! Keep pushing and stay cheerful.

New blog ☀ A letter to me ❤ link in bio. #130lbsdown #weightloss #weightlossjourney #bingeeating #griefsupport #blog #lifestyleblog #grief #fitness #fitfam #fitspo #bingeeatingsupport #coaching #selfie #weightlossblogger