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strawberrywinter4 · 6 months

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I’m supposed to be working at the moment, but I’m going to take a break and say this:

I have been in the Sherlock fandom for about two years now and I am so grateful I found such a safe place.

I started watching Sherlock during a difficult time in my life.

I was hanging out with a friend one afternoon and I don’t even really know how it happened, but she convinced me to watch Sherlock.

It can take me a while to get into a show. Like… a long while. So, I was a bit wary about it, but I’m grateful for her persistence because she just sat me down and turned it on.

I’m going to admit that I didn’t instantly fall in love with it. There’s a lot to the show and (in my opinion) it can be tough to understand if you don’t pay good attention to it.

My friend and I only ended up watching two episodes. After that, I didn’t think much of it.

One evening, I was sitting on my sofa, scrolling through my TV to see what’s on and low and behold, I somehow find Sherlock.

I watch it again… and this time I can’t stop watching it. It only takes me a few days to get through the whole series, and suddenly it’s my new obsession.

I legitimately couldn’t stop thinking about it. It got worse when I found fanfiction.

Sherlock saved me. I don’t mean to be too dramatic, but it really did. I was in such a stump part of my life and reading Sherlock fanfics or watching Sherlock(TV) allowed me to feel a little lighter, like all the burden that was presented at my shoulders could just dissipate.

The creators of the show turned characters that were popular in the 1800s into something people in this century could relate to.

They got these marvelous characters and studied them in such a deep manner and brought them to life on screen, in the modern world.

And it isn’t just about the characters but it’s also about the whole feeling of the show. They show 221B Baker Street as a cozy, homey safe haven which Sherlock and John can live their adorable domestic life. It is where they plan, discuss cases, laugh, drink tea, sleep, sit by the crackling fire, watch crap telly, eat takeout, and all the things that make them feel at home.

And with Sherlock and John seeing 221B as their home, it has also had the fandom seeing it as such as well.

Just the thought of the show makes me feel comforted. It made my past self feel comforted when she was going through hell.

I know for a fact Sherlock has helped every person in the fandom someway, somehow. It’s a beautiful show that portrays intelligence, friendship, family, relationships, mystery, excitement, warmth, sadness, grief, romance, happiness… there’s too much to list.

But all the qualities of the show have allowed us fans to find a place where we can feel safe. We go to Sherlock whether we feel happy or sad, we go to Sherlock when we need comfort, we go to Sherlock when we need distraction, we go to Sherlock when we need to cry, we go to Sherlock when we need to feel something.

So, sorry for my dramatic rant but I just needed to get this off my chest.

I hope that Sherlock has offered all of you some sort of happiness.

Have a marvelous day <3

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sarioh · 7 months

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rio i miss and love you and your analysis posts. what are your thoughts on the clethubs dynamic this season (in anticipation of the new episode tmrw)

hi aleph thank you so much for giving me a green flag to just drop a 1000 word rant about clethubs also sorry i missed the deadline and also sorry about the length. anyways personally i think clethubs is what you get when you put 3 people who are burdened with Remembering in a world where no one else really seems to. like, of course the other players remember and make references to events of the past, but they don’t remember in the way these three do.

to me this is best explained through a breakdown of Trust and how it manifests between each of them indiviudally. etho, especially, is so distrusted by most of the server. he’s a schemer, he has a reputation of being really unreadable and also unpredictable, but if you actually try to understand him it’s really easy to see that he’s actually the most straightforward person alive. he operates purely on debts and repayments. not debts in a trade sense—those are a business transaction and subject to being logically dissected and exploited. but debts in an emotional sense. etho offered grian mercy in limited life because of the diamond sword in episode 1, which grian had forgotten about entirely all the while etho had been biding his time and waiting for a chance to repay it all season.

cleo is the only person on the server who seems to really understand this part of etho, and therefore is the only person who seems to be able to read his true intentions. not only that, but she's the only one who really seems to approach the concept of loyalty in the same way. in the life series, alliances are feeble and fleeting, and for the most past actions hold no bearing in the future. it doesn’t matter what happened 5 episodes ago—if you’re not on my side now, you’re against me. there’s no such thing for cleo—loyalty and betrayal are not just momentary states of being. if you took something dear from me 5 episodes ago, i will never fully allow myself to need you again. even if we're in the final five and our survival depends on each other.

cleo and etho were direct antagonists in the last season and have no reason to trust each other now, but they trust openly despite it because better than most they understand the burden of a debt unpaid, and the burden of remembering in a way that no one else seems to. to them, loyalty isn’t about who you arbitrarily align yourself with, it’s a gesture. it’s “you gave me an extra pair of diamond leggings 3 episodes ago for no reason when you could’ve given it to your allies and now you have no idea that youre in my good books forever.” you can be on opposites ends of a war from someone but if they extend you a moment of mercy, well, how are you supposed to forget that? how are you not supposed to spend the rest of your life repaying that? they both subconsciously keep lists, not just of people they want to kill (like so many other players seem to), but of people who have extended a hand to them in a time where it didn't really make sense to. of gestures that were silently meaningful towards people they care about. "i trust you because bdubs trusted you" etc etc.

it makes so much sense that cleo and etho would both go immediately to becoming sworn allies this season after being bitter enemies in the previous series. because they both understand that there’s no such thing as fleeting alliances, and when they've decided to choose each other, it’s more than just a shared base or a team name—it’s something unshakable. it’s a thousand debts you take turns repaying.

and then theres bdubs, where remembering takes a different form entirely. for him, remembering manifests as shared history. if i chose you before, really chose you, then i’m going to choose you again and again and again. i’m going to hover in your orbit even if you don’t choose me the next time, because you and i both know what we had, even if we’re not supposed to acknowledge it. “that was a different universe, this is a different world. you’re just cleo” but i’m going to spend the rest of the episode hovering longingly by your base anyways. “this is our old thing, if it comes down to it we don’t betray each other” because the loyalty created its roots years ago and has been growing out of control ever since. you ask bdubs where his team is and he shifts uncomfortably and refuses to explicitly call them his allies, insisting that they just showed up around him but he's not really sure.

and just like etho, the other players never fully trust bdubs. he’s fickle with his loyalty and seems to be a split decision away from turning on his friends at any second, but cleo and etho both know that’s not really true either. their trust towards him comes from that Remembering, that fundamental understanding of shared history.

for etho, it’s the push and pull. it’s the knowing that we go so far back that what happens in between never really matters. you got caught in an explosion or a trap that i set in your base? well, good thing we have a hundred more lives to play with so we can just laugh it off like we always do. a stray explosion or a firing squad aren’t an act of betrayal, any more than a mocking comment about your height or a casual threat of violence. and when it really matters, we both know we’d put down our swords.

for cleo, it’s something unshakeable. bdubs, the known traitor of 3rd life, was fiercely protective of her and her alone. so she’s never wary of him the same way anyone else is—she knows that when bdubs really chooses you, then you’re marked for life.

so yeah. clethubs is three guys who share the burden of remembering. and also have some kind of unspoken understanding of each others motives and intentions that no other player seems to have concretely picked up on. but in a way that ultimately just culminates in them acting like freaks around each other and not actually making any direct effort to team mostly because, as usual, etho and bdubs have no idea how to communicate their intentions directly and sincerely like normal people and instead opt to hover in the fringes of each others alliances and make really weird and loaded comments . Anyways

#um this is so long. and also so meandering and makes no sense probably #also realizing i kinda missed the point of ur question you said this season. i just made a general clethubs rant #i havent made an analysis post in like years but i hope this makes sense anyways. i think about them a lot #i have a fever sorry #also HI ALEPH I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TOO #clethubs

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loopy-calico · 2 months

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Sun analysis !!

had some thoughts after i read this tsams confessions post about Sun and how it doesn't feel like he has bonded with his family outside of Moon. you should probably read that first bc i'll be quoting it.

so here's a bit of a (completely lowercase) rant on some of the (in-universe) reasons why i think that might be

'-seeing your entire family grieving over someone [solar] who didn't really give the same amount of love to you as they did to them'

yet sun still acted extremely upset after solar died, which is understandable, but i think has deeper meaning than just 'oh he's sad because he was close to solar (he wasn't) and then watched him die'

it could be an extension of the grieving he never got to do after old moon and lunar died

acting more distraught than he really is makes him fit in more with the rest of his family, who all were close to solar and are deeply affected

he did watch solar die so, that does contribute

not to say he wasn't upset about solar dying! or shouldn't be! it's just that he didn't really...know solar. or talk to him. they never once connected. so why would he be as upset as he is?

'How Sun just leaves, and Lunar, Earth, and Monty go off to grieve without him.'

i think this comes from how him and old moon never talked about their problems. if they felt bad, they had to suck it up and deal with it alone-- after all, you wouldn't want to burden your already stressed out brother with your insignificant problems!

sun and old moon followed that pattern for long enough that it's nature to sun now: he can't be emotional around his siblings, he's not supposed to. it's why he leaves once earth and lunar are going off to properly grief.

'When he speaks to them, he doesn't know what to say or how to respond most of the time. It sometimes sounds like he is talking to a complete stranger.'

sun and old moon were tremendously codependent. they were so close. concerningly so. sometimes, it felt as if they had zero connections outside of each other:

they spent the first years of their life in the same body, together 24/7. after that, they still live and work in the same place, once again being together 24/7. at the start of the show, it seems as if moon doesn't talk to anyone outside of sun, and that sun rarely talked to anyone else; monty and roxy, sure, but they're relationships with sun weren't great, either.

even once lunar rolled around, sun and old moon only believed they could truly trust each other. they were each other's purpose.

sun will never have that amount of a bond, or those intimate of experiences, with anyone else. sun only talked to old moon for so. long. how can he learn to talk to anyone else, if they're not him?

'-said he’s in the best mental state he’s been in a while, but sitting alone in your house just seems extremely lonely.'

old moon would get annoyed with sun easily. sun was anxious and felt the need to check up on moon a lot, make sure he wasn't doing anything that hurt him-- but moon never liked it. he got snappish.

sun and old moon's conversations went better when old moon initiated them.

sun is too afraid to try initiating affection with his siblings anymore. after all, what if they get annoyed? they have real things they're dealing with, what if he's just bothering them? not just with his problems, but with wanting to talk at all?

why even try if it'll probably end up bad anyway?

(BY THE WAY THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION. NOT TRYING TO SAY ITS CANON OR ANYTHING.)

#our poor boy #love him #love him alot #tsams sun #sams sun #analysis #rant #sun and moon show #:)))#i had fun writing this #his only friends are his cats #only 'people' he can truly talk to #the sun and moon show

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cautuscoralcoast · 2 months

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If you were my brother

Rayne Ames x Reader

Synopsis - You begin to offer tutoring sessions after school hours. While there are days when lots of students come, there are days when it's just a few to none. On these boring afternoons, if you're lucky, you get a visit from two certain Adler first years. And if you're especially lucky, you get to hug one of them and gush about what life would be like if you had a younger sibling.

Word Count: 1.8k

This part is focused more on the reader and their interactions with Finn rather than with Rayne.

Part of "You, Me, Rabbits, and Magical Beasts" series. Click the tag to find all works in the series.

You weren't one to interact with other students: not with your classmates or underclassmen. They never bothered to talk to you, and you didn't bother them. That's why when you began talking to Rayne, you felt overjoyed. That being said, you began to think that you relied too much on Rayne to feed your desire for human interaction.

Feeling this overwhelming fear of burdening Rayne, you tried to put some distance between you two. You relied on him too much: asking him to tutor you, to eat lunch with only you, having him to accompany you into the forest for research, having him take you out shopping because you didn't want to go alone. You were taking too much of his time that he could be using for his own devices, and you hated it. While Rayne was your only friend, it's not like you were his only friend. To think that "stoic cold-hearted" Rayne had more friends than you.

So you stopped asking Rayne to tutor you after school hours. You decided to suck up your fears and ask your classmates whom you only spoke to once for help. You offered to help tutor students in magic zoology (the one subject you managed to stay at the top of for three years straight) as well as offer lessons for students who didn't have the class in there schedule. Obviously, this all took place after academy hours, and so the time you spent with Rayne after hours reduced by a lot.

You love Rayne, you really do. As much as there were days you wanted to throw yourself at him and rant about your issues, you did your best to become self-reliant. Rayne isn't yours to keep; Rayne wouldn't always be there to help you. Besides, you still see and interact with him for about a third of a day for five days a week. So, it's not like you can't still spend time with him.

Even so, with the tutoring sessions and after-school lessons, you really began to enjoy talking to your peers. You haven't noticed it before, but many of the first years had talent in certain areas of magic zoology. When grading papers and going over beast handling, it was always the first years who had best the grasp on things. However, there were two students who you paid special attention to.

"Finn? Lemon? How have you two been doing?" These two were one of the few students who came by on a regular basis. Though they didn't come every single day, they still came by a good amount. It's these two who were the best students in the class. Lemon was excellent at beast taming, and Finn was best at the veterinary. You were hoping to hire these two after they graduate to help further your research into magical beasts that reside in unexplored parts of the continent: that is, if they decided to pursue a career in zoology. However, you wouldn't mind if they choose anything else.

"Hey! We are doing wonderful, amazing even!" Lemon jumped over your desk and gave you a hug. "So Finn and I got kidnapped by a handsome guy!"

You and Finn both jumped in surprise when that came out of her mouth. Finn began to pull Lemon off you and try to clear the misunderstanding. "We weren't kidnapped! J—just held captive for a while!"

"Finn, that's kidnapping." Though sometimes the first years could be a bit too eccentric for your taste. You're so glad that at least one of them were normal. Thank you, Finn, for keeping Lemon alive.

Lemon swung her arm around Finn and proudly proclaimed, "it's fine! Mash saved us, and we became friends with Lance afterward!"

"Lance? Lance Crown kidnapped you?" You really were worried about these two. Finn seemed even more distressed when she said this and began to defend Lance. Lemon kept talking and made the situation even worse when she said Lance threatened to kill them.

Sighing, you said, "Finn, don't worry. Lance won't get in any trouble for doing that. Trust me, kids in my year have gotten away with worse."

You turned to Lemon and stared her down with disapproval. "Lemon, there are some things that should be kept between you and your friends. I don't want to know how amazing and ravishing Mash Burnedead looked when he saved you."

They both apologized and looked dejected. You swear that sometimes you feel like their older sibling or a mother rather than an upperclassmen. Nevertheless, you stood up and walked in front of them. Raising both your hands, you pet both their heads. "Either way, I'm glad you two are safe." Hearing this, both Finn and Lemon smiled.

"Now, did you two come by just to tell me this or what?"

........

"Eek! I already did today's homework, so please don't make clean the animal enclosure!" Lemon had come by multiple times to talk and rant on and one about her day and Mash to the point it interfered your ability to help other students. Because of this, you had her do work whenever she did this as a deterrent. However, this was only done when there were other students here: there were none today. Either way, she ran away before you could stop her.

This left you and Finn looking at the exit in awe at how fast she could run. You both sighed and looked at each other. "Is she always like this?"

"Yeah, she isn't the only one....." Looking down in defeat, Finn continued, "they're all so weird its actually ridiculous. Mash is muscle obsessed, Lemon is obsessed with Mash, Lance is a sister obsessed, Dot is women obsessed—I'm starting to think that maybe I'm the weird one!"

"Do you hate them for it?"

Finn looked at you and quietly whispered, "No." He looked out the window to see Lemon running back to Adler's dormitory and gave a soft smile. "Am I the weird one for being fine with that?"

You leaned on the teachers desk and thought, "I wouldn't say you're weird at all for being fine with it. Though, I bet you five have tons of fun together. I'm telling you that it wouldn't be half as enjoyable if they were normal."

You took out your wand and created five little figures out of wind and had them run around the room. You thought about Rayne and how abnormal he was. You never have a normal conversation without having to explain that you didn't want to kill someone and that it's a figure of speech—or how you have to drag Rayne away from rabbit themed isles or shops.

You raised your wand again and created two additional wind dolls and five rabbits.

Life used to be predictable and constant. Every day was the same: no new outfit, no new conversation, no new food recipe, no new class, no new nothing. As "normal" as you appeared to want life, meeting Rayne changed that desire.

"It wouldn't be fun to live a normal life, now would it?"

You and Finn watched the rabbits and wind dolls run around and play.

Finn looked at you and smiled. "No, not at all.........but don't you dare tell them I ever said this!" Finn pointed at you in suspicion. He had been around you long enough to know that you love to gossip when given the chance. "Just thinking about what Lemon and Dot would say is giving me the chills."

You laughed out loud and dispelled the wind dolls. "Finn, you're such a riot!" You held your stomach as you struggled to breathe from laughter. You loved how he went from being defensive to offensive. "Do they know how cheeky you could be!"

Finn got flustered and denied your accusations, "No! Well—I mean, I'm not cheeky! I'm sensible!"

"Sure, sure, whatever you say.'

Calming down, you went back to your desk to continue working: but you didn't want to work. "Finn, sit with me," You pulled another chair from behind you, "Let's talk 'cause I really don't want to do my job...ask me something or anything you never got to talk about."

Finn reluctantly sat next to you and fidgeting watching as you mindlessly graded papers. "Do... Do you have siblings?"

You stopped writing and looked towards him and looked away. "Well...Probably not?"

"What do you mean 'probably not?' "

"Listen—life is complicated, and sometimes the family we have aren't the ones we were born with. For example, siblings shouldn't ignore or neglect you just because of how you were born." You took in a deep breath and exhaled. "You get what I mean?"

Finns eyes softened as he looked at the single line on your face. You stretched as you wondered yourself as to why he was asking such questions. Finn was too young to ask these questions unless....

"Why do you ask? You know what? Scratch that—" You leaned in and hugged him tight: he felt so fragile. "I won't ask and won't force you. However, what I will force you to do is listen to me talk about how much I want a little brother exactly like you~"

Finn's saddened eyes were quickly replaced with disturbance. Just as he tried to push you away, you tightened your hold him. "You—!"

"You're so adorable. I just want to munch on ya! If I was your sibling, I would totally spoil you with all my attention and life savings. I wouldn't let a single thing in this world hurt you even for a second! I would read you storybooks and play with toys with you. I would help you with homework and stay up late to help with your school projects. I would go to every single darn play or sport festival you're in! I would sew and buy the cutest outfits of best quality just for you. I would take you on my zoology research excursions with heavy safety precautions. Oh! The many educational shows and plays I would have you watch....."

You picked Finn up and swung him around. He looked at you as if you were the weird one! "You're unbelievable."

"I know!" Setting him down, you got out your wand and summoned two wind dolls resembling you and Finn. "All I'm saying is that anyone would be lucky to have as a little brother. And anyone who makes their little sibling cry are utter scum!"

Finn looked away the moment you said that. He opened his mouth to speak before being interrupted by the sound of ringing on the teachers desk. He knew what that ringing meant and slowly inched towards the door. "You know, I just remembered that I had to help Mash with homework......"

"Finn, you're the only zoology student here." You looked at him with a deadpan expression, "you know what that means!"

"This is really important!"

"So is the safety of the other students—"

"Bye!"

Finn bolted out the moment he reached the door. There was no way in hell that he would help you—not that you blame him.

Getting rid of dragons was such a hassle, even for you.

"Finn, be lucky we aren't siblings."

Reader: so, you're Finn's older brother

Rayne: .....

Reader: You made him cry and proceeded to ghost him for what? Three to seven years while he was the most vulnerable, believing that was the best course of action?

Rayne: .............................yes

Reader: YOU! @%#$@%#$@%%@%#%#

Once reader realizes that those two are related they would try (and fail) to fight Rayne. No one hurts their little beloved, adorable underclassmen (Lemon and Finn)

#you me rabbits and magical beasts #mashle x reader #mashle #rayne ames x reader #finn ames #lemon irvine #mashle magic and muscles

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stardewstardropthoughts · 1 year

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What about the bachelors comforting the farmer who's usually very calm but breaks down in tears for the first time due to stress. *Cough* community house *cough*

If you didn’t mean the community center please let me know lol but damn mayor lewis really did us dirty with tasking ONE PERSON to what would easily require like five minimum 🫠

How the bachelors react to you breaking down about fixing the community center

Harvey:

He may be your doctor, but first and foremost he’s your husband

Even if he hadn’t been concerned about the physical toll that undertaking fixing the community centre on your own would cause, he was certainly worried about the mental toll

Would ask about how it’s going frequently, dispite your constant brushing off his worries

Until one day it all just became to much for you and he found you curled up in the bathroom head on your knees arms around yourself sobbing

Immediately worried something hurts or your feeling sick, asking a million medical questions a minute

When you finally tell him that your just overwhelmed because it’s such a huge task for one person he sits down beside you and listens

“I don’t want to let everyone down because I know mayor Lewis is counting on me to fix up that old building but it’s just so much for me to do alone, I don’t even know how I’m supposed to keep up with it and I’m constantly burning myself out trying to find what I need or come up with the funds to buy it and I just can’t”

He wraps his arms around you and holds you while you rant through hiccups and sobs into his shirt, gently running his hands up and down your back in a soothing pattern

“Sweetheart, mayor Lewis was wrong to throw such a huge task upon one person, it’s not your fault and it’s certainly not your burden to bear. You arnt letting anyone down and no one expects you to be able to do it on your own, it’s okay to ask for help”

Sam:

He is really impressed that you wanted to undertake fixing up the old community center yourself

He is also concerned since he doesn’t want you to burn yourself out but you were adamant that you could do it

He offers to help out every now and then but you assure him you’ve got it handled

You do not in-fact have it handled

He finds you face first on your bed one night sobbing violently into the pillow, covered in dirt and scrapes

He’s very concerned and immediately grabbing the first aid kit and some water for you

Asks you what’s wrong and if your okay, which only makes you sob harder to be honest

Listens as you tell him that trying to find all the necessary things to fix up the community center is quickly becoming an impossible feeling task and that your so afraid to fail because you don’t want anyone to be disappointed in you

He’s also crying now because how could anyone be disappointed in you? The love of his life who’s working so hard to better the community when no one else even tries

“Hey, baby baby baby listen, your doing so much more then anyone else has even attempted to do to make this town better, no one could ever be disappointed in you”

Holds you for the whole night, also asks you to take a few days off for yourself so he can pamper you and help you feel better

Elliott:

He doesn’t like that mayor lewis has put this much responsibility on you alone to begin with

He knows what it’s like to undertake to much work and then burn yourself out

So he knows what’s happened when he finds you sobbing in the middle of your sunflower patch

Immediately pulling you into his chest and shushing you gently while he runs his hands through your hair

“I know my love, it’s unfair of such expectations to have been thrust upon you. You don’t have to undertake such a burden alone, it’s alright to need help”

Continues to hold you for as long as you’ll allow him

“Even tear stained and sniffy your beauty still rivals that of even the most breathtaking sunflowers in this field”

Just wants to see you smile again, his heart hurts when your upset

Shane:

You’ve helped this man through so many breakdowns and he’s the king of being burnt out so he knows the signs when they happen

He also hates that the mayor just decided you could undertake such a huge task yourself, shouldn’t that be the mayors job?

He finds you face down in a pile of chickens who have all just settled around and on your sobbing form

If he wasn’t so concerned for your mental well being he might have snapped a pic

Very gently removes the chickens off of you and pulls you into his lap, Charlie his favorite chicken on your lap as extra emotional support

“I don’t even know what I’m doing when it comes to fixing up that old building and I took some drugs with a wizard to see some fucking junimos and they have so many demands and I don’t even know how to say any of this without sounding like I’m insane and it’s just to much to do alone”

Listens intently while you rant and sob into the chicken who’s very patiently sitting on your lap

“Love, first of all I don’t think mystery drugs with a wizard is a good idea please don’t get yourself poisoned, second, it wasn’t fair of mayor Lewis to put a task that he should have done himself on you and I have half the mind to tell the town about his little affair if that wouldn’t hurt marnie too”

Gently scoops you up off the floor and brings you into the farm house so he can make you a cup of coffee or tea and cuddle in the bed with you after a hot bath together

Sebastian:

This man probably wasn’t even aware you were trying to fix it up at first, especially since usually his mom has the big projects

So when he finds you just floating face up in the lake near his house staring at the sky while it was pouring he is concerned to say the least

When you explain through tears and shaky breaths that your just really burnt out trying to fix the community center and that it’s way to big a task he understands

Brings you back to his house and hands you a pair of his pants and a shirt and sweater to change into while he puts your clothes in the dryer

Comes back and wraps you up like a little cocoon in his blankets and holds you against him

“It’s not very fair to expect you to be able to do such a large task on your own, if you need help it’s alright to ask, my mom and Clint I’m sure would be able to help and more then happy to as well”

Let’s you fall asleep in his arms and once he’s sure your resting falls asleep as well

Alex:

He probably doesn’t even realize anyone’s trying to fix up that old building, it seems like a lost cause to him

Much less did he expect you to be trying but he does think it’s very admirable that you wanted to fix it up

Does not think it’s worth the obvious toll it’s taking on you

Finds you having a whole panic attack and sobbing on the beach after dark

Doesn’t really know what to do to comfort you at first so he just kinda crouched in front of you

“Hey, hey take a deep breath in with me okay? Good job, now out”

Does Breathing exercises with you until your breath evens out

“Good job baby, now tell me what’s wrong”

Listens intently as you tell him all about how you’ve been trying to fix up the old community center and most of it’s gone pretty good but your really struggling with some parts of it because the supplies is really hard to come by no matter how much you scoured the mines and your so exhausted but you don’t want to let anyone down

Holds your hand while stroking his thumb over the back of it

“What you’ve already done is more then amazing and you shouldn’t have felt obligated to try and fix it in the first place, it’s not your job to rebuild it babe, no one would be upset, it’s a pretty big job for any one person”

Makes a mental note to ask the mayor what the heck he was thinking assigning such a huge task to one single person because what the hell mayor Lewis

#stardew fanfic #stardew valley #stardew farmer #stardew x reader #stardew headcanon #stardew marriage #stardew elliott #stardew harvey #stardew sam #stardew sebastian #stardew shane #stardew alex

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slickfordain · 3 months

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Valentine’s Day🍓🎀

Gojoxreader, Dainsleifxreader

I did say in my rules I was uncomfortable sharing my F/O which Dainsleif is part of it, but it’s for myself and my bestie and it’s Valentine’s Day… So after this, I won’t write Dainsleif for anyone but myself.🎀

♡ Gojo would in no doubt be the goofiest motherfucker you’ve ever been on a date with, but you love it so much💕

♡ Silliest bitch, he would love to put stickers on your face when it’s Valentine’s Day. Usually goes by putting random heart stickers, and maybe some glitter to make your face glow up.

♡ Man doesn’t even care nor does he show shame, he will use Nanami as a wallet, to afford the richest restaurant in the world. (He’s literally rich but man’s doesn’t wanna waste it for some reason)

♡ He’s trying his best,, ૮꒰◞ ⸝⸝ ◟꒱ა Because he’s scared he won’t be able to see you tomorrow evening when his work starts again, and having to go on missions.

♡ When treating you to the restaurant, you either rant about your family— or you rant about how you just feel like you’re a burden to all your friends, and Gojo would listen because… Well, he does somewhat relate to you. After all, losing friends and having issues with family was something he saw in himself.

♡ Later on would just take you back home after giving you a small cute date outside<3 because you don’t like being outside too much so Gojo takes you back home

♡ Either makes you laugh your ass off, or tease you to no ends when he wears your skirt. (It’s hurting his waist BUT HE WANTS YOUR CUTE LAUGH AND SMILE:(((( give him it) Your skirts may be tiny!! But HE WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH T’ILL YOUR RIBS HURT!!

♡ Takes the ugliest picture of you later and you whine and complain, only for him to keep it because now it’s his favorite. Silly you, Gojo doesn’t SEE the ugly in you, there’s only ✨beauty✨

♡ When cuddling, I can honestly see Gojo accidentally pushing you off 😭 like, off the bed. When he does, man’s will PANIC and apologize when you puff your cheeks and give him the silent treatment— please talk to him he doesn’t wanna live without you-

♡ Beware, he’s like a cat, so if you keep continuing your silent treatment he WILL lick your damn cheek or kiss your neck so sweetly. Mans wants your attention, GIVE HIM ATTENTION!! … Please??? ૮꒰ ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ྀི꒱ა

♡ Man’s is loyal AF, he texts you each 10 seconds when it’s Valentine’s Day…. Or 1 second. Doesn’t matter, it’s Valentine’s Day and Dainsleif knows how much it means to you.

♡ Kisses you so sweetly and lovingly, man takes his time and does whatever is comfortable with you. You wanna go out to see the damn fishies in the fucking aquarium? Dainsleif rn: 💳💳💳💳💳💥💥💥💥💥

♡ You two would gaze at Jellyfishes together<3 because it’s peaceful and calm in the aquarium, which fits perfectly for you both since you two are introverts, and quiet. You two don’t really have to talk much, and only text each other because it’s comfortable that way than using your mouth.

♡ If Dainsleif sees a cute fishy-styled outfit that fits your aesthetic, mans buys it because hhhhhhhhhhh ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH😞😞😞 You’re so cute when you get excited and all that shit.

♡ If you get anxiety and anxious because there’s too many people who later on goes to the question, Dainsleif takes you home immediately— because why would he let you suffer in the crowd? Mans is suffering with you man, you anxious = he is anxious too.

♡ I don’t know why but, the thoughts of you painting Dainsleif’s nails dark blue while he paints yours your favorite color— to match and then listen to slowed songs💕 It’s just a comforting night with just you two

♡ It’s raining, storming maybe, you both are cozy in bed together with blankets and pillows— this is the fucking life. You are living to the fullest with yourself, and you love it because Dainsleif will decorate with you too. He’s so loyal…. He just wants you happy.

♡ You two ended up doing coquette aesthetic decorating in your house, matching it with Dainsleif’s blue-ish aesthetics, baby blue in fact.<3

♡ Eating strawberries together and then watch Ghibli movies the whole day!! Maybe even you spamming him reels of cute cat videos where it’s either about the partner love situation, or just “me n u”. He loves it all. Because it shows you love him.

#various x reader #various #yandere x reader #genshin dainsleif #Dainsleif #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #dainsleif x reader

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xzhdjsj · 1 month

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Tangled in Love

Andrew x Reader

Okay before you continue this, I wanted to let you know this fic mentions description of hair texture. The reader has wavy/curly hair! Additionally, this fic is a rewrite of part 6 of Andrew’s story.

+a lil rant before the actual fic (you can skip the first part but please read the second)

I wasn't going to post this because it's a self-indulgent piece but hey I’m sure someone out there will enjoy it too. I've struggled with my hair for quite a while. It was one of my biggest insecurities, and I never knew how to take care of it. For the majority of my life, I've treated my hair as though it was straight, using straight hair products and styles, because that's what I wanted my hair to be. I hated the 'frizz' which in actuality was just me damaging my curl pattern😭 Thankfully, even though I couldn't see it, the people around me did and helped me manage and properly care for my hair. These days, I embrace my curls, and I love them more than anything! If I'm not rocking my curly hair I feel incomplete, it's become a huge part of me! I still have a long way to go, but I'm beyond happy I was able to finally recognise how beautiful my hair is.

That being said, I want to remind all of you that YOU ARE PERFECT! I know we doubt and pick at ourselves from time to time, but it's important to remember THOSE DOUBTS DON'T DEFINE US! Every imperfection and flaw is what makes you perfectly, uniquely and most of all beautifully YOU. Please remember to be kind to yourself and never ever stop loving yourself ❤️

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

It's been months since Andrew ended things with me. At first, I prided myself in being mature and acted like the entire thing never even happened. I stopped sitting where his eyes can easily find me, I never take similar routes as he would and avoided his office at all cost. It was easy to find a temporary tutor to help with my assessments, that way I didn't even need to attend his tutorials.

The less contact with him the better. This little routine was good and dandy, getting me by as I immersed myself completely in y work. If I distracted my mind, I wouldn't need to think of Andrew, right? Wrong.

So fucking wrong.

Every other thought, he was on my mind. I wondered how he'd answer questions on my exam preps, and his opinion on every sentence I wrote. I thought of him so much, it was sickening and before I knew it I was tired and relapsing.

I gave university my all until I couldn't anymore. I was heartbroken and ignoring my feelings only made them worst. They burdened my mind, and I spent nights upon nights crying my eyes swollen into my pillows. I knew I had to accept it somehow but the ghosts of him haunts me, even in my dreams.

Last night’s dream was an especially painful one. I vividly remember the look on his face and the way my heart shattered into a million pieces as he drove away that day. What a shit start to my day!

I rolled out of bed, heading straight for the bathroom where I splashed my face with cold water and looked into the mirror. What a mess, my hair was messy and unkept and not in and attractive, quirky way, more closely resembling a bird’s nest. I wonder if Andrew could ever love me even when I look like this.

I sigh, rubbing my temples and trying not to cry again. Maybe a nice long shower would help, so I did just that. I stayed under the running water for more than an hour, then detangled my hair before stepping out. It did help, at the very least I felt clean and refreshed.

Today was going to be more or less going to be simple, there was a single task posted on Moodle and that’s all I needed to get done.

I settled into a comfy set of clothes and started drying my hair, only to be interrupted by a knock on my door. Who could that be? I threw the towel over a chair and opened the door, and my eyes are met with the last person I wanted to see.

“Hi, I’m here to speak to you” His mouth is agape and he looks a bit shocked.

Speak to me? Here to speak to me? My mind roared. Absolutely not. I was about to slam the door in his face, but he steps forward.

“Only as a professor!” He clarifies. “May I please come in?”

“Fine, but make it quick.” I demanded.

He sighs, “Thank you.”

He steps inside and I lock the door behind him. A waft of his scent hitting my nose, God how I missed that.

“I've emailed you several times about booking a tutorial, whether that be online or in person, and I haven't heard anything back. Me being here is a last resort. It's part of my job to make my students are well, and that if they're struggling, I can point them in the right direction.” He paused, finally taking his eyes off me to look around. “You have a nice place. It's what I imagined it would look like.”

“That’s not why you’re here And- Mr. Marston.”

“Yes, strictly business it is then, though, I don't want to treat it as such.” His eyes are on me again, but I refuse to give him the same attention choosing to fidget with my fingers instead. “I'll try and keep things brief for the both of us. You've been attending as usual, on top of your work as usual and nothing on the surface warrants concern, but because this is around the time where I need to be updated on essay plans and what you intend to do, us talking to one another is inevitable and for your records, and my peace of mind, we must.”

“It’s going good.” I replied, monotoned.

“It’s going good? Is that’s all I get?” He pushes.

“It’s an update, is it not?”

“It's a different response. In the past when we had our tutorials, that went on for at least an hour, you were so passionate about your subject, you made your own reading list and clearly planned out your arguments. You talked me through every point and asked for my opinion just to be sure you couldn't look at it from any other angle because you were adamant about not just getting it right but understanding different perspectives. Tutorials are only supposed to last around half an hour. Why do you think I always put you in the last slot? The look you have when you lose yourself to your ideas, when your eyes spark with this clarity I never want to stop you mid-thought or let that light disappear.” He rants and I wish he’d stop describing me that way.

“First and foremost, I am your professor. I’m here to nurture your curiosity and always have you searching for answers so when you don't show up to your tutorials I get concerned.”

“But I attend classes and all my work is completed. Is that not enough?”

“Your work is fine but that's not the problem I-” He paused and sighs for the hundredth time, “I want to ask how you are.”

“Now you’re interested in that?”

“I never had the chance to and even if I did try to talk to you would you have answered?”

Well shit, he’s got me there. I stay quiet and stare at my feet.

“You've been avoiding me for over a month now and I completely understand why. It's enough that you're still going to classes and doing your work, and I can't imagine what you must be feeling having to be taught by me even now. For the pain I still give you, I am sorry. For the pain I gave you that day, I am sorry.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “Is that why you’re here? To say sorry?”

“I didn't come here under the pretense of apologizing but… it's something I’ve been meaning to do for a while now. The rumours have died down but that doesn't change the thoughts people still have. It's not something that we should live with, but we must.” He regains his composure quickly, shifting the conversation back to university. “Anyway, care to tell me anything else about your essay? Any avenues you're thinking of exploring? Any reading material that's caught your eye?”

“What about you? Howe you Andrew?” I finally find his face with my eyes.

“I thought you wanted to keep this strictly business.” He uses my words against me. “Don't worry about me. I want you to focus on your studies.”

He smiles and it makes my heart skip a beat.

“Have you… Have you seen the petition?”

“Yes, I’ve seen it. I considered resigning and letting them win.” My eyes widen at his confession.

“Rumours can get out of hand quickly. Heh, never in my life did I think I’d be called such names. Now people think I let students get close to me to get good grades, no matter the gender. I’m a danger to all apparently.”

He sounds tired too, that’s one thing I can sympathise with him.

“The dean’s comment eased some of the backlash, but this is a burden I’ll most likely carry for the rest of my career.” He continued.

I stay quiet, unsure how to respond to him. I supposed we’ve both been hurting in our own ways.

“Can I be frank with you?” He catches my attention again and I look up from my thoughts. “I don’t regret any of it. It was one of the most honest decisions I’ve ever made. My only regret is not protecting you when it mattered and- and I’ll never be able to undo that.”

Fuck he always makes things so difficult for me.

“When I saw that video, and those comments I panicked. The first thing that came to my mind was how you’d feel reading them and how you’d continue knowing people thought of you that way. I know how that feels, something similar happened to me years ago. It hurts being ostracised and judged on lies and when you wade in that water you still have to hold your head up high, so you don’t drown. But thinking back I was irrational. I let my own fears get the better of me and made a decision that was not only mine to make. I… I should have spoken to you before driving you away. I’m not asking for your forgiveness or pity. I just need to let you know this.”

“So what now?”

“That’s a good question, I would say we continue as we are now, I only have your best interests at heart and that should be more important to me than my feelings for you.”

“You… you still have feelings for me?”

“Of course, I do! You think they just stopped? I tried burying them, stifling them, but every time you walked into my lectures it was impossible not to remember all the things we experience together.”

“Andrew look at me.” I shake my head. “I look awful, I’m a mess.”

“I disagree. You’re still as beautiful as the day I left you. If not, even more. Your hair, I- I’ve never seen it like that. It might just be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

My hair? I haven’t even straightened it like I always do. How could he find this beautiful?

“Still, you said it yourself, this could never work. Why would you-“

“I’m saying my heart wants to follow you again. Despite it all, I still want you.” He sounds so desperate, and I can feel my heart in my throat. “But this isn’t about what I want. It’s up to you. I you want nothing to do with me outside of university, so be it. If you want to give this a chance, a real chance, I’m fine with that too.”

“Andrew I-“

“You don’t need to give me an answer now, or at all actually. Just… do what you feel most comfortable with.”

That day I had a lot more to think of as I stood in front of my mirror once again. My hair was still unstraightened and a thought crossed my mind. I remember Andrew’s words before he left.

“I know I said it before, but your hair really does beautiful. I can’t quite get over it. It suits you.”

Maybe if I was going to give this another shot, it was time to start afresh. No more secrecy and sneaking around. I stare at my hair in the mirror. Maybe it did suit me and it wouldn’t hurt to try something new, would it?

Months later I feel so much better, the air is clearer, the sun is shining and I’m finally ready to talk to Andrew again.

I sat the window of the café I asked to meet at, looking over at the door each time the bell chimed. This time I was right, it was him. He spots me quickly and walks over.

“Hi, I know I’m a little early. May I sit?”

“Of course, please do” I urge him.

“I see you changed your hair. It looks really good.”

I run my fingers across the soft curls on my shoulder.

“Less of a change more of an embrace I’d say. I thought it was about time I stopped straightening it and wear my natural hair.”

“Not that you were any less beautiful before, but I find it harder to keep my eyes off you now.”

I smile. My cheeks are probably flushed, I can feel them all warm like the fuzzy feeling in my stomach.

“You know it’s very similar to my decision.” I tell him. “It’s another thing I want to embrace and flaunt to the world.”

“And I'll accept it no matter what it might be. So, what's your decision?”

My ass is off the chair in an instant, and I lean over the table to pull his face to mine. I missed kissing him, I missed kissing him so damn much.

#sorry for ze long rant #i just wanted to let you whos reading this know that I love you!#every part of you!#zsakuva #sakuverse #asmr #andrew #andrew marston #hair is looking gorjus but my pockets hurt from buying hair products😭

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doumadono · 8 months

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Emergency request:

Hey I hope it's okay if I request some comfort with Hawks. I've had struggled for a long time now never really telling anyone even though I have had times where I got anxiety/panic attacks almost daily. Mostly because of some family issues and having to had been safe place and supporter for both my younger siblings and a mother. (there has happened a lot but I won't go to any specific details) It was both freeing and terrifying to have moved on my own since I felt like I had in a way less responsibility havig to just look after myself and do what I want. But I also felt anxious of not really knowing what's going at home and feeling like I wasn't really needed anymore. Not really getting many calls to ask how I was doing or if I do it quickly becomes a 'rant' of what's going on in their life, even though it's much better now than few years back.

I'm finally getting help and send a text to my school psychologist because I have been pretty exhausted about everything building up and not really attending to school either. But I'm proud for finally going to talk there and hopefully getting some more help. I'm just anxious of how no one really knows how much I have been struggling and thinks I'm doing well and I don't know how I'm going to face them telling them if I can't continue school at this moment.. Meaning I would have to break the illusion of how I really am.. I'm just used to keeping it inside but I'm trying to break out of that.. but it's scary xd

I'm sorry for the long explanation I don't mean to vent I'm bad at summarizing stuff. There's absolutely no pressure to write this and I wish you have an amazing day! I wanto say I really love your blog and all your amazing writings!❤️

A/N: I apologize for posting this after the 48-hour emergency request window; I've been quite busy recently. I want you to know that reaching out for help is a brave and significant step. You don't have to carry this burden alone, and it's okay to break the illusion. Your well-being matters, and I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself. It may be scary, but you're on the path to healing, and there's strength in vulnerability! Keep moving forward, and things will get better ♥

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Hawks had always been known for his swiftness, both in the skies and in his hero duties. But today, as he received your message and read through the turmoil you'd been enduring, he realized that some things couldn't be rushed. He knew that your struggles had been hidden beneath a brave facade for far too long. As he flew toward your place, he used a few of his feathers to discreetly check in on you. They slipped through the slightly ajar window, silently sensing your distress and heavy sighs.

You sat alone, enveloped in the suffocating embrace of your inner demons; your apartment dimly lit, and your heart heavy with the weight of your struggles. The room was filled with a haunting silence, only broken by the occasional distant sirens of the city.

When he finally landed on your balcony, and knocked gently, you were startled, not expecting him to actualy show up. Opening the balcony door, his wings cast a shadow over you. His usually confident demeanor was replaced with an air of solemnity.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, both surprised and touched by his presence.

He gave you a soft, sympathetic smile and stepped inside. "I read your message, and I couldn't just ignore it. You really thought I won't check upon you, songbird? Can I come in?"

Nodding, you led him to your living room, where you both settled on the couch. The weight of your troubles hung heavy in the air, and Hawks knew he needed to tread carefully. "I know this might be difficult," Hawks began gently, "but you don't have to carry this alone anymore. You can talk to me, whatever it might be about."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you finally allowed yourself to speak, the words spilling out like a dam breaking. You shared your anxiety, panic attacks, and the overwhelming sense of responsibility for your family's well-being.

Hawks listened intently, his red wings folding around you protectively as you poured out your heart. "You don't have to hide your pain. It's okay to be vulnerable."

"But what if they see me differently now since I moved out?" you whispered, fear lacing your voice. "What if they think I don't care about them anymore? What if they'll consider me weak if I tell them about my school?"

Hawks leaned closer, his feather-light touch soothing. "Strength isn't about never feeling weak. It's about facing your vulnerabilities and seeking support when you need it, even if you're a pro hero. And believe me, there's nothing weak about that. About the situation with your family - I'm sure they'll finally accept your decision about moving out. Give them time and with small gestures show them that you still care."

As you continued to talk, Hawks offered reassuring words, his presence a comforting anchor in the storm of your emotions. He spoke of his own struggles, sharing stories of the pressure and loneliness that came with being a hero. Hawks gently brushed his feathers against your cheek, a gesture filled with tenderness. "You're not alone in this, okay? I'll be here for you whenever you need me, and I'll support you through the tough times."

Tears streamed down your face as you gazed at him, grateful for his understanding. "Thank you, Keigo. I don't know what I would've done without you today."

He smiled softly, his golden eyes reflecting genuine care. "Anytime, kid. Remember, you've got wings of your own, and you can soar through anything."

#emergency request #hawks x you #hawks fluff #keigo takami x you #mha hcs #takami keigo #keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader #keigo takami x y/n #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #hawks hcs #bnha fluff #mha fluff #hawks fanfiction #keigo takami fluff

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lunaeclipse1057-ao3 · 5 months

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Tallulah's Rant, 12/27/2023 Colorized

It is very fucking long so I'm putting it under a thingy :)

Tallulah's Rant: "It's horrible enough dealing with your father being away, people mocking you as if you don't have feelings. I was an extension of him for months, and I was clinging to people on the island because of it. That care, that safety. Everyone had their safe space, but I didn't. I had no purpose and you have still taken me under your wing as your own. Chayanne is your son.

The time I spent in Purgatory, we were separated. Dapper and Ramon had each other's shoulders, and I felt alone.

I learned how to fight until the one-eyed person found us and sent us to the island. ElQuackity spoke to us and he pointed out how my dad doesn't visit us often. And I was alone, and we were trapped.

Then you all came, and no one ran towards me until Tio Tubbo and Tio Charlie looked at my direction. Cucurucho saved us, and we were in a coma. After waking up, I realized everyone had their parents (not leo i think, it was a blur), and the same shit all the time, I was just not impressed anymore.

I can't force you to put me as priority, it's not correct. You are Chayanne's dad. And it is hard for me to fit, I coped with sleeping alone, I kept writing letters and playing songs. It didn't help. I'm tired. I don't want to be a burden.

And I am just done, I feel lost, like I don't have a place. 'I have so much love to offer', not anymore. I'm not the same Tallulah I was months ago. Sorry, I'm trying my best, I'm just sad and bitter."

Phil's Response: "Tallulah, I never want you to think you're a burden. You are just as much my kid as Chayanne is. You have been ever since I started taking care of you. I'm sorry if it doesn't feel that way, I know I'm not good enough. I apologize because it's ultimately my fault."

Tallulah's Response: "That's why it's worse, you are an amazing dad, and I love you, and I want to appreciate you more but I don't know how."

Phil: "You don't have to worry about that, alright? You're just a kid. Everything you wake up, every time we hang out, I appreciate our time together. I feel like... I don't know, I'm always trying my best but I feel like it isn't good enough. For me to not notice you were feeling this way, it makes me feel like shit. I never thought that you would be going through this, I thought you were fine. I knew you'd miss Wil, but eventually see me as your dad."

Tallulah: "It's fine you can't see everything. I know he doesn't have enough time to love me, but I'll keep clinging to people and hope for the best :)"

Phil: "Listen, you don't need to change. You don't need to be impossibly strong, or emotionally unbreakable. You have a heart. You are just as much my kid as Chayanne is. It just feels weird if you don't wake up with him. And it's okay to be selfish sometimes, Tallulah, it's totally fine. You're one of the few eggs who, I feel, has every right to be selfish now and again. You have a unique situation, and you should just be able to live your life. I'll be here every step of the way, through thick and thin. Me and Chayanne. Listen, Wil loves you very much, he tells me every chance he gets, but he is so busy. He's touring the world, playing his sad songs and happy songs to people. But he still loves you. I'm sorry he can't be here as much as I can, but I hope I can fill in the boots. I'm always going to be a shoulder."

Tallulah: (In Spanish) "You are the best father there is, thank you. Don't think otherwise, and I'm sorry for being so stubborn. Everything in it's time."

#qsmp #live blogging #liveblogging #qsmp liveblog #qsmp lore #q philza #q tallulah #these two are going to be the death of me #i swear to god #i love them so fucking much #but holy shit #i was writing this with tears in my eyes #it was so hard keeping up so i apologize for any errors

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moonstruckme · 19 days

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Okay sorry I don’t want to burden anyone I know irl so rant below ! Cw for anxiety maybe? Please feel no need to read, everything is fine in my part of the world :)

I’m graduating on Saturday and that’s already more scary than exciting unfortunately, but a couple of days ago I got turned down for the only position I wanted in the city I live in now, so I’ll officially be moving away at the end of the summer. The thing is, I have no idea where !! I’ve always wanted to move out of my home state so it was never the plan to stay here, but there was a weird sense of comfort in the idea that I could potentially just stay where I am right now, continue to hang out with my friends who are doing grad school, kinda sorta pretend to just still be in college for another year or so. Which maybe wasn’t the best idea, but the familiarity was like a security blanket. Now, I cannot stop thinking about how I have no idea what I’m going to do.

I really hoped I’d have a job lined up by now, but as it stands it seems like I’m going to be working 3 jobs until my lease ends in August and after that I have no clue where I’m going. Jobs in my industry are worryingly scant and while I’m trying to make my peace with working in like a coffee shop or a bookstore or something (which I think I would be perfectly content with, at least for a while) the amount of decisions that leaves me with is stressing me out so bad. I have to figure out where I want to live, get a job there, go and find an apartment with some roommates, make all new friends, etc, etc. I’m terrified.

I have literally one friend who isn’t going on to some kind of higher education and she’s already gotten her dream job after applying to two (2) places, and I’m genuinely happy for her but it makes me feel like such a failure that I’ve applied to dozens and not even gotten an interview. I want so badly to just do something I care about but I feel like soon I’m going to have to settle for whatever pays rent. I keep telling myself that that’s fine, because plenty of people live that way and I’m sure that so long as I keep writing and have some good people in my life I’ll be happy, but it’s so so scary to know that in a couple of months I’ll be leaving all my friends and family behind but have no idea where I’ll be going.

I’m really not trying to whine, I know that I’ve been extremely lucky to go to college and enjoy barely paying for anything the last few years (I have a scholarship that pays for most of my rent and my parents help me with grocery money). There are genuinely awful things happening all over the world right now, and I live in a country that affords me a good amount of safety and have parents who I know would step in to help me if I were literally starving. I’m just sort of coming to terms with this being the first time in my life that I’m completely on my own. I’m confident that I can find something to keep myself alive, but I’ve been very lucky to have great friends and a very contented life so far, and I’m both grateful for that and terrified it’s going to end soon.

I can sort of feel myself on the edge of a wee breakdown and that really cannot happen right now because my family and my long-distance bestie get here tomorrow for graduation so I’m going to have to be very smiley and confident for at least the next few days ! And anyone I shared this with would be taking on the burden of feeling some kind of guilt, which of course I don’t want to put on anyone. So yeah. Sorry to do this here, but I really felt like I had to externalize this somehow and you guys are my unfortunate victims!

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idyllic-affections · 10 months

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HIII so this might be an odd request,,, mayhaps i ask for kaveh with an older step sibling (since his mom remarried i think).,, i think kaveh would be a little awkward interacting with them at first but they got along in the long run!! esp when they update him about his mom and never really makes him uncomfortable, or always doesn't force a conversation!! he respects his ideals and supports his passion!!

but the main idea was they go to sumeru one day to visit kaveh (they've been informing him thru letters) and accidentally finds out that he's buried under crippling debt and flat out broke!! i think kaveh would feel so ahasmed of himself but!! his older sibling doesn't judge n is very understanding!! helps him with his burdens (if kaveh allows them), maybe recommend his architectural skills to their friends in fontaine!!

idk i just really like the idea of kaveh having an older family member that he could rely on because he really just deserves nice things yk 🥺🥺 even tho they're just step siblings, they feel like true family!!

anyways feel free to ignore this!! have a nice day/night and take ur time!! 💖💖

the blending of two families.

summary. not all step-siblings are like the cruel ones in the fairytales.

trigger & content warnings. references to death and grief. spoilers for kaveh's backstory.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff, comfort, slight angst. kaveh & older step-sibling!reader. 1k words. they/them pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. THIS REQ IS LITERALLY SO CUTE WHATSJSGJF??????? i have Feelings about kaveh's mom and they are NOT good ones but i'll be nice to her for the sake of this piece........ /lh i did this in brainrot format because i wanted SOO badly to get this one done relatively quickly this req invaded my brain like a song that gets stuck in your head

kaveh first meets his older step-sibling at his mother's wedding.

he's... happy for her, he really is. or he's trying to be, at least. she deserves nothing but the best. what kind of son would he be if he wanted her to live her life wallowing in grief and sorrow? she's hardly ever done anything to hurt him, and if she ever did, it was unknowingly. he could neved wish anything bad upon her. she simply does not deserve those things. therefore, he's doing his best to be happy for her.

a part of him, however, still misses his father.

a part of him— well, who is he kidding? the entirety of his being still suffers under the weight of grief and guilt caused by the circumstances surrounding his father's death.

he doesn't even know the man his mother has chosen to marry, really. kaveh absolutely does not feel like she is betraying him or his father whatsoever, but... he does wish that he had gotten to know this man a little bit better before having to trust that he would not wound his mother's scarred heart.

the architect doesn't engage with the other guests much. it's unlike him, really, but he finds that he can't muster up the strength and charisma to talk with people beyond simple pleasantries. he keeps to himself for the most part.

still, he doesn't dare dampen the atmosphere with his woes, so when another person approaches him, he offers his warmest smile.

"sorry, i hope you don't mind me asking..." this stranger smiles politely at him. it puts his mind at ease a little. "is the bride your mother? you look an awful lot like her."

"oh, i—" he stammeers inelegantly, then clears his throat. "yes. i am her son, kaveh."

they smile again.

"hello kaveh. i'm [name], the groom's child."

"oh. oh! i am so sorry, i had no idea!"

"it's alright, really. you mind if i stick around for a while?"

and kaveh finds that he doesn't. he doesn't mind at all.

the architect has been known to be loose-lipped about his troubles; that in and of itself is part of the reason why he spent the night withdrawn from the celebration. he had no intention of being open about his troubles, and yet...

his step-sibling had the sort of face that made him want to rant, and rant he did.

"i can understand that," they mused thoughtfully, kind eyes observing his expression closely. "it's complicated. grief is never easy. i get it."

initially, they were the one lingering around kaveh, but by the end of the night, the tables have certainly turned. he is practically attached at their hip.

he finds that their understanding presence ended up raising his low spirits.

a few days later, kaveh has to return to sumeru—he does have responsibilities, after all—but he's a bit sad about it! they're, of course, there to reassure him that they plan on visiting someday soon. maybe he can show them around? the prospect alone is very thrilling to him, and what's better is that he'll get to show off his magnum opus like an excited toddler showing off a drawing they made! he does warn them that it is very humid and they need to be prepared, though.

until they can visit, kaveh regularly exchanges letters with them. he complains about his terribly annoying roommate and how awful his taste in interior design is. he tells them about random gossip he heard at the tavern. honestly, he just rambles. it's endearing, really, and in return, they tell him about fontaine and maybe sneak in just the smallest bit of gossip about a certain chief justice or even about the hydro archon herself.

(in the future, closer to when the traveler arrives in fontaine, they do not dare tell kaveh about the heightened fatui activity. goodness, the poor thing would worry to death for theirs and his mother's safety.)

when they do finally have the time to come visit...

they arrive by boat in port ormos, and kaveh is there to pick them up!

he's got a lot of things he intends to show them and a lot of people he intends on introducing them to. on the way back to sumeru city, he stops a few times, pointing out some particularly beautiful locations or animals, all of which would have his siblimg absolutely over the moon. sumeru in general would have them enamored.

the air in sumeru is so... clean compared to fontaine, and the fauna and flora—it's completely different than what they've seen.

now, as for [name] finding out about kaveh's crippling debt... i think they would suspect something was off financially for him, simply because of certain mannerisms of his. he's careful with what he spends his mora on. he tries to be, at the very least, and his caution is very evident. or maybe they're just observant? either way, they know something is a bit off.

kaveh leaves them at alhaitham's home for a while.

it's not that they're one to snoop—it's disrespectful and rude to do so, they are very much aware of this—but a letter would catch their eye.

a letter detailing what he still owes to dori.

suddenly, things make sense in their mind.

they don't try to ask his roommate about it. instead, they wait until he's home and alone with them.

"kaveh," they call. "are you in debt?"

his heart sinks a little. so much for hiding it...

"i..." he hesitates, obviously embarrassed, but he does come clean. in their eyes, he looks like a kicked, pouty puppy. "it's... complicated. i mean, you're not wrong..."

"aw, kaveh, don't look like that," they coo, reaching out to gingerly squeeze his shoulder in a gesture of gentle reassurance. "it's nothing to be ashamed about. things happen, kaveh. life happens. i understand if not, but... will you let me help you out? at least a little bit?"

regardless of what he says, whether he admits that he could use the help or insists that they shouldn't have to do that, they do still go around and tell people about their super awesome and talented step-brother! and when kaveh asks in a letter about the suspicious amount of commissions he's getting from fontaine...

nope! they have no idea how those people found out about him. <3

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

#aphelion brainrots 🌸#astronetwrk #favoniuslibrary #platonic genshin x reader #platonic genshin impact #platonic genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #platonic kaveh x reader #kaveh x reader

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starkstruck27 · 4 months

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It's been forever since I posted on here, so since I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, have some ftm Billy Hargrove. Also, ignore the timeline here, it isn't exactly accurate, but I don't really care lol. TWs: Very minor nod to domestic/child abuse, a touch of body dysmorphia, and depression

Billy usually wasn't this talkative after hooking up with someone, but this wasn't an ordinary hook-up. It was the 27th time he'd hooked up with Steve Harrington since he'd moved into town almost 6 months ago (not that he was keeping track or anything), but that wasn't what made it different.

It was different because this was the first time he'd ever let Steve see him naked. It was the first time he let him fully take in the body he'd been touching and praising and thrilling for months, and Steve hadn't immediately been repulsed and thrown him out. Billy had been terrified of that, if he showed Steve the scars on his chest and the distinct lack of anything between his legs and he reacted badly, he could end up dead or nearly dead, broken and bloody and devastated.

But none of those things happened, and he knew he shouldn't have worried, anyway. Steve had known for the last 2 months about the way Billy was. He'd finally told him after he pitched a fit when Billy wouldn't let him jerk him off in exchange for a blowjob behind the school. Steve had been raving and ranting so loud, Billy was afraid people would hear, so he shoved him against the wall, put a hand over his mouth and just told him he couldn't. Steve had been confused at first, but when Billy explained it, he could actually see the lightbulb clicking on in Steve's head. He'd reached up and taken Billy's hand from his mouth then, and told him that he understood, but that it didn't change anything. He still thought Billy was hot, he still liked spending time with him, and he still wanted to hook up as long as Billy was on board with it. That'd been another time when things changed during their hook-ups, because that'd been the first time Billy kissed him.

But this time felt even more different than that, because Steve had seen him, truly seen him, for the first time ever, and he didn't care. It didn't change anything, and yet everything had changed. Billy felt completely normal, and completely safe, for the first time in his whole life, and that was everything to him.

He figured that was why now, after they'd cleaned themselves up and gotten settled in Steve's bed, he was so willing to talk about everything.

It was the most he'd talked to anyone since he'd first moved to Hawkins, and as he laid there, resting his head on Steve's chest, he didn't know whether the floaty feeling in his chest was the weight of his burdens being lifted or air sickness from flying on the high of being completely honest with somebody else.

"So, you said you were six when you first noticed something about you was different?" Steve asked, tracing his fingers up and down Billy's side and giving him chills.

"I think so. That was at least when I figured out how to voice it. I think I always kinda knew, I just didn't know how to articulate it, so I never tried. Besides, I was afraid of what my dad would do if he ever found out. It was hell trying to live with that for as long as I did. I didn't hate playing with dolls and stuff, but if ever I was playing house or something with my friends, I always volunteered to be the daddy while everyone else always wanted to be the mommy. And if we were playing princesses or something, I was always the knight or the dragon because I hated being the princess. I always chose the plainest solid-color clothes the girl's section had to offer because I couldn't get the ones I really wanted from the boy's section, so I had to make do. I felt like I had a pit in my stomach and every time I was reminded that the way I looked outside didn't match who I was inside, it would grow a little bit until it felt like that was all that was left of me. I felt like a captive animal, stuck in a cage against my will for people to come and look at for their own amusement. But I couldn't tell any of this to my mom, otherwise my dad would somehow know, so I just kinda kept it to myself. When he eventually did find out, I was really surprised because he didn't even seem to care. I don't know if it was just because he didn't care about me in general or if he saw it as another thing to use against me. I assume his logic was that if he let me change myself, he could get around that whole "a man shouldn't hit a woman" thing, although that never stopped him before, so I don't know," Billy said, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him. It felt good being able to be so open and honest with somebody else, but there were still things that were hard to talk about for too long. But Steve seemed to understand that, and he never pushed, he just leaned down and kissed Billy's head softly.

"And you were how old when you told them?" Steve asked, pulling the blankets up a bit as he felt Billy shiver again.

"Twelve. It was right after my mom left, and my dad said we were going to move, so since I was going to have to start a new school, I asked if I could register under a different name, and I told him then. I think I had a heart attack when he said yes. Then I spent the weeks leading up to the move the happiest I'd ever been. I gave myself a haircut, which wasn't half bad for my first attempt ever at cutting my own hair, and then I thought about what name I wanted to go with when my dad signed me up for school. That was the hardest part, I think, because I had no idea what to call myself. None of the names I tried out really fit me, and I agonized over it for weeks, but nothing felt right," Billy said, snuggling closer to Steve under the blanket. "Eventually I had to pick something, so I just went with Fred."

"Why Fred?" Steve chuckled lightly, making Billy blush and smile a little sheepishly.

"Because he was my favorite character on Scooby-Doo," he replied, his heart soaring at the sound of Steve's laugh resonating in his chest. He couldn't help but laugh a little himself, his blush burning bright in his cheeks as he did.

"So then how did Billy come about?" Steve asked as he settled down a bit, his hand moving up to play with some of Billy's curls.

"Well, I cycled through a few names throughout the years, trying to find something that felt right. Fred didn't cut it, and neither did any of the other names I'd tried throughout middle and high school. I was going by Jamie right before we moved here, but I was trying to come up with something new before that, and I couldn't think of anything. But then a buddy and I went to see the movie St. Elmo's Fire when it came out, and I got it from that," Billy explained, starting to trace patterns on Steve's chest. "Rob Lowe was in the movie, and I remember when we were trying to figure out what movie to see, my friend stopped next to the poster outside the theater and said, "Oh my God, he looks just like Jamie". So we decided why not give that movie a try, and it was really good, but my friend could not get over how much I looked like Rob Lowe. It was honestly kind of surreal for me, too, because it was like looking in a mirror whenever he was on screen. But it wasn't just that we looked alike, it was also the fact that his character was everything I'd ever wanted to be. He was a smart ass and he was confident and a complete mess and he had style and he cared about his friends more than anything, and he was just so complex. And I remember watching the movie and just wanting to be him, not just look like him. I wanted to be as horrible and as funny and as messy and as complex and as layered and authentic and devil-may-care as he was, more than anything else in the world. So when we moved, I decided to try and become him, starting with the name. I wasn't ever gonna be Billy Hicks, but I figured being Billy Hargrove might be just as good. And the first time I said it to myself in the mirror, it finally felt right. It was the first time any name made me feel like a normal person, like a normal guy. I knew then that Billy was the only name I'd ever go by from then on."

"It was a good choice," Steve said, "It's perfect for you."

"Thanks," Billy said, smiling shyly to himself.

Neither of them said anything for a while after that. Billy had talked himself out, and Steve was perfectly fine with just lying there with him. He cared a lot about Billy, and it made him feel the strongest sense of pride he'd ever felt that Billy trusted him enough to tell him about himself, to let him see behind the walls he constructed, when so very few others got that privilege. He knew a little more about what made Billy tick, and he loved knowing. Or maybe he just loved him.

Billy was beginning to drift off by now, the quiet stillness of the room allowing Steve's steady heartbeat to lull him into drowsiness, but then it began to get faster, and Billy could feel Steve breathing deeply, like he was about to ask something else.

"You don't have to tell me this if you don't want to, but..." he started, his voice barely a whisper. "What was your name before you figured out who you were?"

"Like, the name my parents gave me?" Billy asked, leaning up on his arm as he woke up a bit, "Why?"

Steve shrugged, "Just curious. You don't have to tell me, though. Now that I'm thinking about it, it was kind of an invasive question. Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"Hey, don't worry, it's okay," Billy said, using his other hand to turn Steve's face so he was looking at him. "I was just making sure it wasn't for any other reason that you wanted to know. But I trust you, and I like being able tell you things. It's nice being able to talk about my past without being afraid of what might happen," he paused, leaning down to kiss Steve before coming back up and looking into his eyes. "I'll tell you, but you gotta make me a promise that it'll never leave this room, okay?"

"I promise," Steve said, holding out his pinky and making Billy smile as he linked it with his own.

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath, "It was Kimberly. My mom said she always liked that name, but she always shortened it and called me Kimmy, which I hated. But my middle name was Janice, which is even worse, so I had to live with Kimmy until I was twelve and my dad let me change it."

"Thank God he did. No offense to your mom, but she cannot pick a name to save her life," Steve said, making Billy snort. "Billy suits you much better."

"Thanks, Pretty Boy. That really means a lot to me," Billy said, giving a shy smile before it morphed into a nervous bite of his lip. "Just you in general mean a lot to me. I care about you a lot, and I don't always know how to show it. And I know that I need to work on that, so I'm trying to, but the way I feel about you, it's like I'm a kid again and I don't know how to put it into words. But you're everything, really. You're funny and smart and hot as Hell and the best thing that's ever happened to me in my whole life and I... I just don't even know how to explain it... but I'm trying and..."

"Hey," Steve said softly, leaning up on his arm and looking Billy straight in the eye, "I get it. And I love you, too."

"Y-you do?" Billy asked, and the smile that he gave was so bright and beautiful, Steve almost felt bad for kissing it away.

"Yeah, I do," he mumbled as they parted, "Every trait, every emotion, every complexity. I love every part of you."

Billy usually wasn't as talkative as he had been tonight, but now, it seemed like the well of his words had run dry as he tried to come up with a response to what Steve had just said. Even if he had the words, he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to string them together coherently enough to convey even half of what he wanted Steve to understand. So he didn't use words.

He sat up reached down to untwist the covers, he fluffed the pillows a little, and then he reached for Steve, gently turning him onto his side before settling down behind him. He pulled Steve to his chest and tangled their legs under the blanket, one of his arms pinned beneath Steve and holding him with a hand over his heart and the other playing with his hair and scratching at his scalp in just the way Billy knew he liked it. He wanted to tell Steve that he loved him with his whole heart, that he trusted him and that he'd never known he was even capable of feeling this strongly about anyone or anything until he'd met him, but the words wouldn't come.

As Steve took the hand that Billy had rested on his chest and intertwined their fingers, though, he knew he got the message.

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #stranger things #harringrove #ftm Billy Hargrove #trans billy hargrove #fanfic

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night-market-if · 7 months

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Little rant about the MC cuz it's been on my mind :) btw this isn't hate or criticism! I love the game a lot!! Binged it twice in two days.

The strange thing is that I didn't even realize MC was being used by the rest of the cast until Malcom explicitly laid it out. This is probably just me being dense, cuz I just kept thinking "wow everyone's really pushy, ig I need to do another thing." But now that I think about it, the more I realize that damn—MC really got the short end of the stick. This isn't in comparison to any other character, I'm just saying that in general, MC's situation sucks a lot more than I thought initially.

Like coming into a world where you constantly are reminded you don't belong there, yet having no recollection of where you do belong (and on top of that just frustrating skelticism from people you want to trust/are working with)?? And then finding out your origin only to spiral into an even deeper existential crisis???? I can't even imagine how that must feel, and I'm honestly surprised the MC is even functioning at all.

MC plays the role of an outsider looking in, but in doing so, has to grapple with the fact that their, quite frankly, scary situation of being plunged into the unknown is used as a mechanism to solve a problem that is larger than life. They are constantly put on the back burner in favor of some new plot, some new goal. They're there to comfort other characters, mend relationships, negotiate, and run errands when they have only been in the Night Market for a fraction of the time every other character has been in, pushed to hold such a huge burden in such a short amount of time. It'd be a miracle to even begin processing everything, let alone healthily.

Not to mention, I can't get over how quite literally every character has wronged them or used them in some way. They usually are justified in some way, but that really strains a person's trust. I'm looking forward to getting a nice friend group in book 2, the support would very much be appreciated.

I hope we get a nice long break after everything. MC really needs it and a counselor 😭.

Yes! Yes yes yes! So, this was all done by a very specific design. There is not a single relationship within this game that is I'd say 'healthy'. Now, part of that is because that is way more fun to write. But, the other part of it is because I really want to explore a character that does from not really knowing much of anything, to being what they are now and how that does change a person. I still don't know how that is going to look but I'm incredibly excited for it.

This was an incredibly thought out response to the MC and it made my day seeing it. I love when I get things in where I feel like a reader went into my brain and took out what I was thinking. :)

#the night market #interactive fiction #the mc #twine game #twine if

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