#because I still don't fully understand the motives behind their relationship but I HAVE IDEAS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roz-ani · 4 months

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As someone who was absolutely thriving while watching episode 5 and being a huge fan of Alastor being a dad/mentor/godfather figure to Charlie, I think one thing needs to be made clear: Alastor doesn't see her as his daughter. He is, however, meant to slowly warm up to the idea of the Hotel and to the people living it. The thing that holds the audience back from fully grasping that idea is the show's pacing. As Al continues to be the best-written character in the show, I wanted to focus more on his motivation and actions in light of the events of episode 5, while also being aware of how much work the audience has to do to fill in the gaps created by the show's writing.

As fun and entertaining as the idea of Charlie and Alstor having this kind of bond is, it is not without its flaws.

Where did this idea of Al being supportive of Charlie's idea even come from? Obviously, the pilot. The Radio Demon shows up at the doorstep and offers his aid. He claims he's doing it for himself, but hey, he's still helping, right? Well, technically. The moment the Princess asks him if he believes in her cause, he laughs it off. He doesn't support her dream and does not necessarily want to make the Hotel work in the sense that he would like to see it succeed. Alastor is fully convinced it's a lost cause - hard work that doesn't pay off. He wants to see it function. He wants ongoing entertainment in the form of sinners failing to redeem themselves. Well, he doesn't get to watch that much if you look at how much redeeming there's actually going on it the show.

He provides the staff, renovates the building, even gives it its official name, and agrees to make the commercial to promote the establishment. The only issue he has with the last thing is the form of the promotion. If Charlie asked for a radio advertisement, he would definitely go out of his way to make it appealing. Would it actually work? Who knows? Probably not much, and we need to remember that no one can be forced or manipulated to stay at the Hotel.

Let's stop here for a moment, though. Now that we know that someone (Lilith... or maybe Eve, but let's leave that for another post) has Alastor on a leash, we can take a different look at the Demon offering Vaggie his help with the commercial. He was most likely sent to help with the establishment because Lilith does want to see Charlie's idea work. Alastor's contract most likely requires him to help and protect Lilith's daughter. Still, he wants to do it on his own terms. So the only requirement he makes is that he will not be involved with television in the future, even if it would help the cause.

Here we face our first problem. This is everything he does for the Hotel in the show. There is literally nothing more we see him do due to the limited number of episodes. We don't even see Charlie and Alastor talk. The last time they had a proper conversation was in the pilot.

Now, here we can notice what made people see Alastor as Charlie's father/mentor figure. In the pilot episode, and especially during his song number, Alastor goes out of his way to touch Charlie and even dances with her. He makes the building look more appealing, showing the owner he's capable of making her dream come true. He does that again episode 5.

Vivzie did say they have a good relationship. The Radio Demon actually likes Charlie's personality and appreciates her artistic talents. Unfortunately, we don't see it in the show itself. We just fill this gap by ourselves. If you want to understand better, put yourself in the shoes of a person who only saw the pilot, which is becoming less and less canon now, and immediately started watching the show without any behind-the-scenes information. Ask your friends to watch this show, like I did, and you'll see what the issue is.

But back to the main topic. Personally, I see Alasto as more of Charlie's (fairy) godfather. Just like the fairy in Cinderella's story, Alastor uses his powers to make the protagonist's dreams come true. He fulfills her requests, like the commercial, but adds his own twists, like the Hotel's name and the deal with Vaggie. I still remember he doesn't actually care about the cause, but it's still entertaining to see him working. Well, again, it would be, because we don't really see him doing that in the show itself.

So, time passes and Lucifer shows up. Now, if looks could kill, this episode would last less than 5 minutes. Alastor IMMEDIATELY hates Hell's boss. His eye starts twitching the moment he hugs Charlie. I would even argue the way he smiles while observing the preparations is much more sinister. He knows who's coming and he doesn't like it.

It doesn't take long before these two start their petty argument. I've seen people come up with a few main ideas for Al's pettiness towards Lucifer:

He hates that yet another power figure didn't recognise him. Partially. We know that Alastor's ego can be easily hurt. He's been gone for seven years and still thinks he's all that. Sure, he's still powerful, and he proves that in the episode, but he's not as relevant as he thinks he is. There is one issue with that argument, though. This is the first time these two meet, and Alastor shows his aversion to Lucifer the moment he arrives. I would say Charlie's father not recognising the Radio Demon just adds insult to the injury.

Alastor had an abusive father, and he hates Lucifer for acting similarly. Possibly. If we want to fill the gaps ourselves again or treat it as a headcanon. We don't know much about Al's childhood, only that he had a good relationship with his mother. If that is the case, we have yet to see it in the show.

Lucifer is the reason why Alastor is on Lilith's leash. Now, that's more likely. My guess is that after losing to Vox, Al made a deal with Lilith and the two of them were gone for 7 years. We have yet to learn what they were doing, but Lilith eventually sent the Radio Demon to help her daughter, while he saw his return as a chance to reestablish his position in Hell's hierarchy. Now, one could argue that was not necessarily hinted at in the episode as well, and I do agree. Yet, I do believe this is the most likely answer, as it would fit the plot and is the most likely part of Al's character to be explored in the future.

Alastor sees Lucifer as a threat to his work/an obstacle. That's an idea that popped into my head recently, and it's strongly connected to the previous theory. Alastor definitely knew that Charlie's dad was… not very supportive of her work. If he somehow managed to dissuade her, it would mean the Demon failed to fulfil his task/hold his end of the deal. It would not only absolutely ruin his ego but also have contract-related consequences.

I think we may explore this issue the future if the show is given a chance to do so. For now, I believe it's safe to say that the main reason for Alastor's aversion is his contract and personality.

But why the pettiness? Why the whole act about being Charlie's biggest supporter? Because Alastor is petty. His ego is quite fragile. We saw that when Carmilla dismissed his return or when Husk warned him about Mimzy. Just like Lucifer, he doesn't believe in Charlie's cause, but Lucifer makes Alastor's aversion even stronger by just straight-up insulting him and his work.

And if Al is willing to send a guy flying because of a coat (that's already torn at the bottom mind you), he's absolutely going to put such a person in their place. The thing is, he can't. Not in this case. We're talking about the King of Hell. Despite his mental state, he's still more powerful than any overlord. We can joke about Vox wishing to have this kind of rivalry with Alastor, but we do see the Radio Demon and the Fallen Anger going head-to-head during their song number. But if Lucifer is so powerful, how can Alastor "beat" him? Simple, by manipulation.

Here we come to the whole father-daughter relationship issue. Everything Alastor does and says is intended to piss off Lucifer. He keeps touching Charlie and talks to her in a way we have only seen during the song number in the pilot. While he does that, he gives her biological father a sinister look any chance he gets. "See? I'm winning. I can give her whatever she wants. In her eyes, I'm just like you if not better."

Now, we need to remember that Charlie is fully aware of Alastor's intentions. She knows he's aiding her for selfish reasons, so why isn't she completely taken aback by his sudden flow of affection and praise? Because it's Charlie we're talking about. In episode 3, she "confessed" that she loves the Hotel residents despite not being that close with them in the first place, and, well, she does have daddy issues. Whenever Alastor looks at her during the song, it feels like he's forcing Charlie to believe what he says and does. The Radio Demon is truly giving the Princess everything her father has failed to provide, and she falls for it.

Remember, Alastor enjoyed watching children suffer after the Stock Market Crash of 1929. He is not a father material. Mentor? Sure. Father? Definitely not. That's why it feels so weird when he says he wishes he had a child of his own. He has never acted this way toward Charlie. He is willing to say anything to make her and Lucifer believe his intentions because he simply wants to win this argument, and he just happens to be in a position that allows him to exploit other people's insecurities.

It makes sense, right? It sure does if we apply the suspension of disbelief notion here. Again, we haven't seen Alastor do any of the things he mentions in the song. The last time he and the Princess talked was in the pilot. We just assume they get along. I think this is especially visible when we stop to think about the fight near the end of the episode. Charlie claims Alastor is protecting the Hotel. It definitely looks like it at first, and we could argue that this is something he signed up for. However, Alastor basically admits that for him, this is a chance to show everyone why he still should be feared. He treats this as an opportunity for a power display. Not because he cares about the Hotel. The writers WANT us to believe that's the case by making Alastor send Mimzy away right after the fight is over. Nothing indicates he cares more about the Hotel. That's why people are not sure if we should treat Alastor's talk with Mimzy seriously.

The show has already done that before, especially in episode 3 with Carmnilla and Vaggie. We know nothing of these two, and we are just supposed to bond with them and understand their way of thinking and actions. Some of that is even in episode 4, when Husk says what everyone's main deal is - Sir Pentious being insecure, Vaggie hating herself, Charlie wanting to resolve other people's problems instead of her own, and Angel Dust putting on an act. We haven't seen any of those people, besides Angel, talk to Husk before, and there was very little time to establish whether all those issues were actually the case. The only reason why we can believe Husk is because we know all that information from the crew, wiki trivia, and because the episode proves Husk was partially right about Angel, whose character act is probably the second-best established one in the show. We know we're meant to fill in the gaps, but there are moments when we're just confused once we turn on critical thinking.

So, Al's argument with Mizmzy is supposed to feel like he's starting to care more about the Hotel because Charlie tells us so and because we can guess that this is most likely Alastor's main character act. Paradoxically, the reason it's not so clear-cut is not just Hazbin Hotel's bad pacing, but Alastor being the best-written character in the show. We learn more and more about him, but there is still some mystery to his motivation. It is never laid out for us like it is with Vaggie (damn, she really is getting the short end of the stick). We're never told, "Hey, this is his deal".

This show is genuinely held back by its format. The writers pick the best, most relevant moments and put them together to create a narrative that ultimately feels incomplete. Interestingly, I think the people who realise it (and are not out there to absolutely tear the show down) are not exactly mad but disappointed. They tend to feel ambivalent or find it hard to care about the characters unless they choose to ignore the missing parts. I believe the show's redeeming qualities, like the voice acting, songs, and its heroes' personalities, make the problems easier to handle, but that doesn't change the fact that it's simply getting more and more frustrating.

Nowadays, writers are left with two choices: severely changing their story or opting for bad writing/pacing to fulfil their vision. Hazbin Hotel's creators clearly went for the second option. We don't know what exactly was changed because of the budget and the show's format, but the main premise is just not present in the series. We're not observing much redeeming, and the whole deal with Heaven feels like a season 2 plot idea. Are the writers doing their best with what they have? It depends on what we consider "doing your best." Personally, I understand they want to make the series entertaining. They want people to be intrigued and interested in the premise, but the execution is just hopeless. Just because you can do more doesn't mean you should. What looks good on paper is not always going to work in a different medium. Show, don't tell.

You can't expect the audience to fill in the gaps for your sake all the time. What you think is intriguing may be just another reason for people to realise how lacklustre your creation is.

I know it sounds like I'm just blaming the crew, but I am fully aware that they're not Benioff and Weiss. They would absolutely accept more episodes. Just like with Charlie, their efforts are futile when they're not fully in control. Still, that doesn't change the fact that the final outcome is deeply flawed. As an audience, we can't just keep saying, "Well, they wanted to do more, but the studios didn't let them." Yes, that is the whole problem. Yes, studios shouldn't have so much power over someone's creation. Hazbin Hotel's writers are trying their best, but not with the pacing. They are making everything else redeem the issues with the story progression. While the show is genuinely enjoyable, it is mainly so when you, as a viewer, decide to turn a blind eye to the pacing. When you convince yourself that as long as something fun and plot-relevant happens, the show is well-written. I don't want Hazbin Hotel to be perfect. I want it to realize that some things should be prioritised.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #alastor #charlie morningstar #lucifer morningstar #lucifer hazbin hotel #roz writes #mine

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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deadendtracks · 3 days

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More overly detailed asks where I cannot phrase a question but just scratching at conversation starters… XD

In your Not series, there’s a scene where Alfie is at Tommy’s house, and Curly is tending Tommy’s injured knee. Alfie realises suddenly that Curly is an alpha and, while the thought doesn’t get explicit in the prose, the impression is a sexual undercurrent in Alfie’s intense shock because alpha!Curly is touching omega!Tommy in such an intimate/close way -> so this sense of how could *they* possibly have…!

So, I was interested in the thinking behind the scene, and also wondered if maybe it was an opportunity to do a bit of compare/contrast on that other aspect of alpha biological-drivers -> some omegaverses also have that driving alpha need to ‘care-take’ for an omega, and was wondering if your verse leans into this, and maybe this was an example of showing that non-sexualised caretaking?

One thing that comes across with Tommy and Alfie’s relationship is that it’s so sexually driven, but then, Alfie also grapples with all these non-sexual motivations that he never *really* seems to want to think about very hard – like the one that made him drive out to Arrow in this particular fic – to caretake, while Tommy *does* seem conscious of those drivers in Alfie and constantly pushes back on them. That particular scene with Curly struck me a little tiny bit of Alfie being jealous/annoyed/frustrated/bemused that actually, Tommy has people (the herd) who care for him (including alphas) and his relationships with those people don't have all these *other* heavy sexualised drivers laid over the top of that. Alfie trying to cross a boundary into something more than sexual, and while Tommy does verbally push Alfie back later, Curly's position in the scene as an *alpha* just felt very particular.

So that Curly scene -- yes and no?

Taking care of an injured Tommy and worrying over him is something canon Curly would do anyway, so his being an alpha isn't the primary driver of his behavior. The scene is more about Alfie's perception of the dynamic (and of what it means to be alpha) than it is about anything naturally inherent to being an alpha. Something Alfie probably doesn't understand is how Curly completely lacks an impulse to *control* as part of his caretaking. He has no desire to dominate as part of taking care of someone, because Curly doesn't have that perception that being alpha requires it. Curly is a nurturing guy; he'd be that way whether he was alpha or omega or beta but Alfie still slots people into these categories and tries to make sense of them that way.

I think of Alfie as someone who still has unconscious ideas about what alphas and omegas are supposed to behave. My personal omegaverse isn't hinged on the concept that alphas and omegas are *inherently* or naturally any one thing at all gender role wise -- but there are still stereotypes in that world along the lines of some of the typical omegaverse tropes, with some spins on it, I guess. I like to try to undercut them a bit here and there or find my own expression.

Alfie is someone who thinks he hasn't bought into those societal stereotypes, thinks he's risen above them or is enlightened, but has a lot he hasn't unlearned. Kind of a "male feminist" idea lol (nothing wrong with male feminists; just that even the well-intentioned cishet male feminist tends to have at least a few areas where his behavior doesn't match the theory).

Your last paragraph sums up how I was trying to write the dynamic really well!! That was my underlying idea -- that when it comes down to it, Alfie doesn't know much about Tommy's life, has no real understanding of how it's embedded in a community, even if that community is fractured between s3-4. He doesn't fully understand the impact of Grace's death on Tommy except abstractly. That's why I needed to bring Curly and Uncle Charlie into the story. And I've always been curious about Frances in canon; I haven't done alot with her in this series but whether Tommy wants her to be or not she's part of that community for sure. But Alfie is *surprised* by it and doesn't know how to process it; his mental version of Tommy is isolated from all context. In a lot of ways this series is about Alfie's assumptions being peeled back one by one.

I also think of Tommy as a bit more self-aware of some of these things than Alfie is. Like of course he has his own hangups and blindspots but he ... understands Alfie a lot better than Alfie understands him, and knows it. He can see through Alfie more than Alfie is able to see through him. At least when it comes to their dynamic. Of course there's a ton about Alfie's life he doesn't know about either, but I think he's more aware of that fact than Alfie is of the reverse. Alfie has this idea of who Tommy is and thinks he's right about it; Tommy only really exists in relation to Alfie for Alfie. Where I think Tommy just assumes Alfie has his own life in Camden Town that Tommy frankly doesn't give a shit about beyond his compulsive need to research the people he deals with. But he knows it's there!

Part of that is how they met -- Tommy first comes to Alfie on Alfie's territory surrounded by Alfie's people, alone. And a big part of Alfie has never revised his mental picture from that first meeting.

So what finally comes to a head here is that Alfie has this unconscious suspicion of Tommy-as-omega-seducer, combined with the fact that before he met Tommy he basically never let himself be in a situation where that caretaking instinct has an object. Eternal bachelor sort. So these two undercurrents are at war in him.

At the same time he's struggling with wanting more from Tommy. Much of his frustration is due to a fundamental misunderstanding or ignorance -- he just completely misses the fact that Tommy loved his wife and his wife just fucking died and Tommy still basically wants to be dead because of it. Alfie is (unconsciously) a bit dismissive of this, even when he considers the idea of Tommy having been 'bonded' to her. It's like... Tommy existed for him, then Tommy went off and got married and ceased to exist as anything but a distant business contact, and now that Tommy's wife is dead he exists again, and for Alfie there's this kind of continuity that doesn't exist for Tommy. For Tommy there's been an extremely violent rupture.

IDK if I'm expressing this well! But Alfie's looking for a man that doesn't exist, to quote Uncle Charlie.

Alot of this is driven by my wanting the relationship issues between them to not be 100% Tommy's fault/responsibility, which is how alot of Tommy/Alfie fic tends to go. When in canon Alfie is just... not the well adjusted guy who wouldn't be fucking up his relationship with Tommy if it existed! Like the issues between them aren't because Tommy's sexually repressed or internalized homophobia or because Tommy can't commit or idk. Even Tommy's trauma. Whatever. It's messier and more complicated and Alfie has a big responsibility there.

Beyond Grace's death, Alfie's actions (the ones from canon I've kept in this universe, which is all of them) have had a direct negative impact on Tommy, and that, you know. Affects Tommy's willingness to trust him, etc. At the same time there is something there for Tommy too, and he keeps coming back.

I'll stop here, though I'm aware I have only covered Alfie's half of this whole dynamic in any depth.

#not #meta #i guess? meta about my own fic

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horizon-verizon · 10 months

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The way Alicent “forever upholding the kingdom, the family, the law” Hightower protect and align herself with a kinslayer, even saying that Larys’s help has not gone unnoticed and she will have need of it in the future (“the day will doubtless come when I require such a friend, with not only skill but discretion as well), and a murderer who broke guest right (an ancient and sacred custom in Westeros). Alicent’s character is quite basic and not hard to understand, like SO MANY religious people, her definition of “morality” is entirely rooted in bigotry and her own hypocritical patriarchal self-serving (mis)interpretation of religion.

Maybe a response to the chain of posts that began as Rhaenyra-as-leaders-and-her-flaws to Alicent-is-a-better-politician-bc-she-has-a-"cooler-head" asks I wrote. Most recent HERE.

In all those posts I strictly commented on the book!versions of both characters. Not the show. Still, you seem to observe how the past two asks' anons or so have tried to make book!Alicent who she isn't while having skewed interpretations of her. Maybe you feel that such a skewness would also apply to their views on show!Alicent bc Alicent stans/green stans tend to conflate certain aspects.

BC they see the shared quality of what you say here: "like SO MANY religious people, her definition of “morality” is entirely rooted in bigotry and her own hypocritical patriarchal self-serving (mis)interpretation of religion".

Except, of course, they don't see her faith as bigoted or think the bigotry is enough to morally condemn her non-instigated actions against Rhaenyra for power. They rather see it as a virtue of hers, her being resolutely dedicated to a Catholicism-modelled religion, her family's prestige, and their symbiotic relationship with said Catholicism-modeled religion.

The family's history is so interconnected with the origins of Oldtown, even though they aren't considered the ones to really build Oldtown, they basically are culturally and politically synonymous with the Faith itself. The Hightowers frequently had their own members become septons, even becoming High Septons. The High Septon--being the Westerosi version of a medieval pope when popes had an active role in how rulers/leaders conducted themselves and made decisions--lives and makes declarations from Oldtown. He--never has been a "she"--has such influence because they are known as the direct link to the Seven and responsible for the Andal-descended person's confidence in "salvation", or having a better afterlife. (Thus why the unnamed HS who raged against Maegor for his physical abandonment of Ceryse Hightower [niece] to marry Alys Harroway and against Aenys for marrying Rhaena and her brother Aegon together.) The Hightowers also fund the Citadel, so they also gain prestige from being kinda patrons of the central knowledge center of the entire society that itself supplies and reaffirms some key Faith teachings/aristocratic ideals and values. The Faith's influence/growth in Westeros is seen as a purely admirable thing by those persons. They either don't fully realize or care that Faith's hegemony also affirms abuse of power, and violence to preserve chivalric "honor" and the existence of itself, classism, blood purity, and misogyny in Westeros.

I think that show!Alicent is less "complicated" in that she's not written well in her being inconsistent and the idea behind her motivation is reduced to desperate, not very well-thought-out kind of protectiveness instead of an even more nuanced ambition reflective of how women in an Andal/Faith patriarchal feudalist state try to seize power AND believe in its definitions of womanhood simultaneously. A savvier, more self-controlled (except for some events where her misogyny really makes her downfall), and more capable Cersei. (For posts on what I mean by her similarity to Cersei, look HERE & HERE).

Book!Alicent, like Cersei, is "simple" & "complicated", but really I can only say this about Alicent because I'm aware of Cersei and see the likeliest existing parallels.

#asoiaf asks to me #alicent hightower #alicent's characterization #hotd characterization #hotd #house of the dragon #perfect victim post #the seven faith #oldtown #asoiaf maesters #the hightowers #westerosi history #westerosi society

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lehdenlaulu · 2 years

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Okay. Other aces have already weighed in on this eloquently and this is definitely not intended as some kind of manifesto in an attempt to change anyone's mind -- after all, as an asexual person I know it's no more possible for me to truly understand why the vampires having sex in the (show) canon is important to allosexuals than for them to truly understand the reverse.

But I just wanted to put it out there that growing up as ace, especially before I had any terminology for it or knowledge that it's a valid thing and there are others out there like me, it was very... comforting, in a way, the depiction of the vampires in TVC as effectively asexual by default.

Sure, that asexuality is part of what makes them inhuman and Other, which I understand rubs some people the wrong way, but what goth teenager doesn't like seeing their own Otherness reflected in a cool supernatural creature? This goth teenager certainly did. Especially since their lack of interest in sex wasn't depicted as equaling a lack of passion and drama, and most importantly, love. Which was extra comforting when as a teenager you're bombarded from every direction with the notion that Sex Is Super Important and only Boring Prudes don't actively want it and Love And Fulfilling Relationships Without Sex Are Impossible Actually.

Yet there we had these beautiful, powerful, immortal creatures who were completely capable of having intense, dramatic, long-lasting love affairs, with multiple people even, without anyone generally being particularly predisposed to take their pants off. A notion that you can love, and love intensely, without sex being a major component or driving force behind it. Imagine that. And yes, I've seen arguments that the human sex drive is just replaced by the bloodlust in vampires and therefore vampires are still sexual beings, just in a different way. Or that since they're mostly still intensely sensual, it's really the same difference and therefore the vampires not having sex is a silly, boring rule. And I guess that for allosexuals, those arguments make perfect sense. But from an ace point of view? The distinction matters. The idea that these characters and their relationships are not motivated by sex matters.

Furthermore, and this is no longer so much based on my personal experience as an ace as a personal opinion otherwise, I must say I'm a little concerned in general how the whole 'vampires have sex now' thing will change the character dynamics, within the coven and without. That the relationships that between asexual (or nonsexual if you will) vampires definitely have disturbing elements to them but due to that 'inhuman' aspect land just this side of off-putting (I mean, depends on who you ask I suppose) will now be squarely in the 'definitely fucked-up' category. I mean, obviously, the showrunners don't have to make all of those relationships sexual just because the characters are now apparently capable of and interested in sex, but... I feel like the temptation might be too strong to resist and I kinda dread the idea of 'watch how much ~scandalous~ sex we can cram in one show!', you know?

Neither do I personally want the characters to be changed to better accommodate the new status quo. For example, I personally feel that if you make Armand, as a character (the actor can obviously be a grown adult), a fully grown man and/or erase his very specific, traumatic past that is intrinsically tied to the fact that he is in appearance an angelically pretty teenager... He'll no longer be Armand but quite literally Just Some Guy (kind of like he was in Neil Jordan's film, tbh). I don't want the showrunners to completely shy away from the fucked-upness present in the canonical text, but I feel like with this new ~sexy~ status quo, there's a risk of it translating as bawdiness for the sake of shock value on screen. I hope they can find a way to balance it out.

Anyway, just my two cents.

#again #not here to pick fights or anything of the sort #these are pretty much personal musings I felt the need to write down largely for myself #The Vampire Chronicles #Interview With the Vampire #IWTV AMC #ace tag #asexuality #representation #Darna talks TVC

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mimisempai · 3 years

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There's always a calm before the storm

Summary:

Mobius is extremely frustrated because they have to wait to go catch the Variant in 2050 Alabama. Loki decides that this time it's his turn to take care of Mobius.

I'm still exploring their relationship as I await the next episode. Think of it as a little interlude before they leave for Alabama.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32095750

1646 words - rating G

Mobius was frustrated.

For whatever reason, logistical, administrative, they would not be able to leave to catch the variant in Alabama for another twenty-four hours. He didn't even listen to Revonna's explanation until the end and left her office, furious.

Loki, sitting in the corner of Mobius' open desk, was watching him with amusement.

He had noticed that Mobius was generally very controlled in his emotions, but there were two emotions that made him act unpredictably.

Joy and anger.

Loki blushed as he remembered how he had been on the receiving end of these unpredictable reactions, whether it was when he had pissed Mobius off in the elevator or just now when Mobius had been happy to finally have a solution thanks to Loki.

Unconsciously Loki brought his hand to his lips, as he wondered if he would be able to elicit a similar reaction now that Mobius was frustrated again.

A little embarrassed at where his thoughts were leading him when it was not time for jokes, Loki coughed discreetly.

"Time Variance, Time Keepers, Sacred fucking Timeline... for fuck's sake, they're the masters of time, and we have to wait to catch the fucking Variant! "Mobius, pissed off, kicked his desk, causing his precious jet ski magazine to fall to the floor without him noticing.

He continued to pace around the office, railing a thousand times against all those who he thought were preventing him from doing his job.

Loki stood up, picked up the magazine and looked at Mobius fondly.

There was something strangely charming about the man, though Loki couldn't quite figure out what it was. But there was no denying that something about Mobius drew Loki to him like a moth to a flame.

Loki was both curious and cautious. Something compelled him to expose himself to Mobius more than he had with anyone else.However, while the feeling was incredible, Loki also knew that rarely had anything good happened when he had allowed himself to trust.

Either way, this wasn't the time, and unless Loki tried to hit Mobius with the magazine like he had done with Miss Minutes, Mobius wasn't going to stop circling until they got the approval they needed.

Loki thought that maybe this time he was the one who could do something for Mobius.

He called him several times, but Mobius was so consumed with anger that he did not hear Loki.

So he tried another way, "Mo!"

Mobius stopped immediately, only the slight flush on the tops of his ears betraying his embarrassment.

"Mo? Loki, I'll have you know that my name is Mobius! Not Mo, Mobi, Bibi or any other such idea that comes to mind. Okay?"

Loki smiled with indulgence before replying, "That had the merit of getting your attention at least."

Mobius grumbled before snapping at Loki, "What is it that deserves my attention?"

Loki turned to him, spreading his arms in the manner of Loki when he was acting out.

"Lokiii...." sighed Mobius, "I don't have the time or the heart for this."

It was Loki's turn to be annoyed, but he didn't show it, after all the short time he'd been there, he had surely frustrated Mobius more than his share.

"Mobius, please sit down." said Loki softly as he turned Mobius' desk chair towards him.

Mobius let out a sigh of annoyance, but sat down nonetheless.

Good boy, Loki thought as he stood behind him. Then he asked Mobius, "Do you mind if I touch you?"

Mobius put his head back to look at Loki and said with a sigh, "Lokiii we said we would continue this later."

Loki gave him a small flick on the forehead, before replying with a slightly annoyed tone and eyes raised to the sky, " You idiot, I just want to help you relax.I'm probably not going to try anything while it's an open desk, even if there's no one else there but us."Then handing him the magazine, he added, "Here, flip through your magazine and admire your famous Jetskis."

Then handing him the magazine, he added, "Here, flip through your magazine and admire your famous Jetskis."

Mobius bowed his head and with a sigh gave his consent.

Loki began to massage his shoulders, looking for any strain to relieve.

Mobius grunted in response, "Hmmm Loki, where did a god learn to massage like that? I would have thought you were more of a massage receiver than a massage giver."

"Thank you!I thought you were one of the few who didn't have preconceived ideas about me, after all I understand very well, my exceptional and divine personality is so vast that it's hard to go around it in a human lifetime and-"

"Lokiii..." sighed Mobius

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

Loki quivered slightly as he remembered the last time Mobius had said that to him and the way he had shut Loki up. He replied in a playful tone, "I'd tell you to shut me up, but then again this is a public place."

Loki didn't need to see Mobius' face to know that he was rolling his eyes. He continued his massage, while explaining, "To answer your question, let's just say that DB Cooper wasn't the only bet I lost with Thor and I won't go into further explanation."

Mobius chuckled before replying, "In any case, I am delighted to be the lucky beneficiary of your talents, no matter how you acquired them."

Loki simply smiled and continued his ministrations, as Mobius flipped through his magazine while groaning his appreciation every time the god loosened a sensitive muscle.

"Mobius..." he murmured softly.

"Hmmm..."

"I'd like to do something more for you, but it requires that you trust me." Loki's tone had become uncertain.

"Well I let you take me to Pompeii and you didn't stab me in the back, so I guess that means I trust you right?"

A bit of a twisted way of reasoning Loki thought, but it would be enough for what he wanted to do.

"Second, do you trust me enough to take off my necklace for a few moments so I can use my magic?" He knew Mobius' answer would be slower in coming, after all, two kisses exchanged didn't mean unlimited trust.

Mobius surprised him once again though, he tilted his head back and looked at Loki with a smile, reaching into his pocket to activate the command that opened the inhibitor collar. Loki's throat tightened at this display of trust.

He pulled himself together and said, "Okay, then I want you to think of your favorite jetski model and close your eyes."

Mobius chuckled again, but complied.

Loki placed his fingers on the man's temples, without applying pressure. He concentrated and a faint green flash passed between his fingers and Mobius' skin.

With his eyes closed because he was concentrating, Loki did not see Mobius' expressions, but he heard his exclamations of glee and laughter.

They stayed like that for a few minutes. Then Loki slowly opened his eyes and gradually took his hands off Mobius' head. The man slowly came back to reality. He leaned his head back again and murmured a thank you, while squeezing one of Loki's hands that had lingered on his shoulder.

"So was it as good as you thought it would be?" asked Loki.

"Better even. I really felt like I was on a jet ski, out on the ocean, the wind whipping by, the spray, everything." He touched his cheek, "I still feel like I can feel all of that even though I know it wasn't real. Thank you again."

Loki awkwardly replied, "I know it's probably not as good as the real thing, but I hope it took your mind off it a bit."

"Don't underestimate what you did Loki, it was exactly what I needed."

"Good for you then," Loki muttered as he picked up the collar to put it back on.

Mobius' hand stopped him.

"Wait, don't put it back on just yet. Are you able to create an illusion where we both would be, if I project to you what I want?"

Loki simply opened his arms and said, "Hey you forget who I am."

"Idiot."

Loki replied, "Alright, it's going to be just like before, just gather what you want us to see in your mind. Are you ready?"

"Yes." replied Mobius firmly.

Loki repeated the same gestures as before and closed his eyes.

Anyone who entered at that moment would have seen the scene of one man sitting at his desk while another stood behind him with his hands on his temples. Both men sporting bright smiles.

A few minutes later, they opened their eyes at the same time and Loki moved back a little.

Mobius caught his hand before he could pull it away.

"Are you okay?"

Loki nodded but said nothing. He gently withdrew his hand and put his collar back on. Seeing that he was reluctant to speak, Mobius turned fully toward him and pulled him by the sleeve until he was standing between Mobius' knees.

Looking at him from below, he asked gently, "Loki, speak to me."

Loki replied just as softly, "Is this the kind of thing you like, the kind of thing you'd like to do...with me?"

"We could start with that after this whole thing is over, what do you say? Ah unless there's a rule that says gods don't date?" asked Mobius, raising an eyebrow.

Spreading his arms, a mischievous smile on his face, Loki said with his trademark emphasis, "Hey, I'm Loki, the god of mischief, since when do I follow rules?

Quickly checking behind his shoulder that no one was there, Mobius pulled Loki's head to his own with a gentle tug on his tie and proceeded to wipe the arrogant smile from Loki's lips in the only way he knew to be effective.

________

The whole serie here : The story of Loki and Mobius

Thanks for all the support, this fandom is incredibly motivating. Love you all!🥰

Not beta'd

#loki series #loki #mobius m mobius #lokius #moki #wowki #developing relationship #lokius fics

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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sunqyu · 3 years

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If you don't mind, could you explain the meaning behind each members message in be your own king? I've seen everyone talk about the greatness behind the message but as a new fan who's still learning about the boys' personality and stereotypes I don't think I fully understand everything 😅

I don’t think they’ve shared official meanings anywhere so it’s pretty much all up to our own interpretation. For me personally, I connected most of the scenes to things they’ve said in the identity films. Here are six of them because it took me longer than expected, I’ll do the other five tomorrow! (:

Let’s start with Hyunjae who said ‘Make your own air.’, here’s his identity film.

This one was a little less obvious to me but I’ve always seen Hyunjae as someone who speaks up when necessary. In the identity film he also mentions this, how he speaks up when he feels like everyone wants to but no one does. He talks about how strong his moral compass is and how he can’t stand injustice but this makes people see him as blunt. Eventhough he doesn’t want people to see him as blunt he’d rather speak up because keeping it in will be more toxic for him. I think with ‘Make your own air.’ and him being underwater in his scene he’s creating a metaphor. Air being a feeling of freedom, openness, justice, something along those lines. In a world where people are too afraid to speak up (wether it’s for themselves or for someone else) someone like Hyunjae could feel suffocated, as if he is underwater. By making his own air, creating a space by speaking up and giving other people the motivation to do so too, he lets himself breathe. Instead of letting himself drown in the injustice that others are trying to ignore, he creates air.

Next up is Juyeon, who said ‘Make your own character.’, here’s his identity film.

So Juyeon has a lot of different sides to his personality and to the way he comes across. He’s one of the more quiet or shy members which leads to a certain reputation. He went viral a few times which enforced this “first impression”-reputation even more among the general public but also among the fans. He used to be seen as a very pure and nice person. In the identity film he explains how this isn’t always true and to him the boundaries of being a good person are blurry. It was difficult for him to always be seen as just that nice guy. With more recent comebacks (Reveal, The Stealer, Breaking Dawn) we’ve seen a huuuge change in the way he comes across and he really got the opportunity to break out of that reputation. He also mentions that he wants to keep showing new charms. To me this means he enjoys figuring out who he is and playing with ways to influence his reputation. He has the power to create his own character, not fitting into one specific box or be a certain type and stick with that, but always changing and evolving.

My everything Changmin said ‘Make your own stage.’, here’s his identity film.

I could talk about this one for AGES but I’ll try to zoom in on a few points. Aside from Changmin being a born performer and how clearly we can see his biggest passion is being on stage, I think there’s more behind his message than that. He is one of the biggest perfectionists in the industry and is the strictest with himself. He also struggles with depression and in his identity film he talks about how honesty isn’t always the best move and how he rarely talks about his feelings. To me that sounds like he has a lot on his mind but chooses not to be honest about it in order to keep his relationships happy and to not make people worry. I speak from personal experience here but sometimes telling other people what you’re dealing with can only make the problem feel bigger. Sometimes it’s nice to not tell anyone so hanging out with them is a distraction from what’s bothering you. Like he says in the film, when someone shares their struggles you’ll only feel down together. He also talks about how he always tries to give positive energy to others even when he isn’t happy himself. (I could keep going but I’ll get to the point now). By making his own stage I think he means making a life and a side of himself that focusses on the good things. When he’s not on stage he’s down and struggling but instead of taking that with him into the rest of his life he created this stage. This stage is his escape from the negative thoughts, the stage has his friends who he has fun with, it has the music he loves and het gets to move around and indulge himself in his passions. The actual stage is where he is happiest and I feel like he created another layer of stage where he is kind of inbetween the way he is when he is dancing and the way he is when he’s caught up in negative thoughts. This metaphorical stage gives him the opportunity to enjoy life without the worries ruining the happy moments.

Next up is our Haknyeon, he said ‘Make your own romance.’, here’s his identity film.

The thing I love and admire most about Haknyeon is his confidence. This is something I noticed about him back when I saw him on Produce 101 and something that’s still very clear now. In the identity film he talks about how he has a hard time reading the room and considering everyone who’s there before speaking. This leads to miscommunications or annoyances that weren’t necessary. It must be so frustrating to him, trying his best but others misunderstanding him and taking his honesty the wrong way. Maybe he feels dilemma’s about being himself or giving that up in favor of the group. With ‘Make your own romance.’ my first idea was that he meant self-love. While others don’t always understand him, he has himself and he knows his worth. Even when others disagree or don’t see it, he knows that he’s a warmhearted and loving person. He’s proud of who he is and wants to show us that just because other don’t see it or disagree, doesn’t mean your romance and idealism aren’t there.

I loved Kevin’s part, he said ‘Make your own fantasy.’, here’s his identity film.

I could talk for HOURS about Kevin’s identity film. The first time I watched it I cried because of how much I related and how much I’ve struggled with the same things. How I see it, fantasy has two meanings here. First up the whole Peter Pan theme is a clear reference to Kevin wanting to always be a kid at heart no matter how old he gets. This also relates to the fantasy as in having a wide imagination to build that fantasy on. The second meaning I think is about the creating of the fantasy. He’s a social chameleon so he acts different based on the people he’s with to the point where he sometimes loses track of who he really is. To me (as someone who has a similar problem) making your own fantasy stands for taking control over your life and your image of yourself. It’s not about finding who you are but about creating who you are. Kevin has a very clear image of who and where he wants to be but struggles with questioning himself and pretty much everything. Make your own fantasy is a statement that focusses on taking back the reigns and making your own fantasy instead of it staying a fantasy.

Moving on to Sunwoo who said ‘Make your own vibe.’, here’s his identity film.

Another one which, to me, seems to encapsulate a lot of different meanings. Sunwoo is one of the moodmakers in the group and tends to stand out pretty quickly to newer fans. His personality is something I personally haven’t seen often in kpop. He’s a mix between cute and playful while also being mature and intriguing, so his vibes are pretty unique. In the identity film he mentions how much he compares himself to others and how he has a hard time accepting that he’s not where he expected to be. He doesn’t give any names but I think it’s safe to say he means other idolgroups with bigger fanbases or different concepts. With ‘Make your own vibe.’ I feel like he’s focusing less on the comparison with others and more about what makes him unique and how he can use it to his advantage. Instead of running after others he makes his own path for people to follow. I’ve noticed how he seems to feel more and more comfortable being himself on camera. He seems happier and more at ease, like he doesn’t feel pressured to keep up that tough rapper persona anymore. Now that unique vibe really shines through and I hope ‘Make your own vibe.’ means that he’s aware of how special he is and how much potential he has to work with.

#more rambles #the boyz #tbz #be your own king #kingdom #sunwoo #kevin #haknyeon #changmin #juyeon #hyunjae #anon #mssg

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restnowyourhardshipisover · 2 years

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i cannot find myself getting 100% behind your c!tomym takes in regards to c!wilbur but damn if I don't want to know more

Yeah, my take's definitely interpretation, no one has to agree with it <3

I think I'd summerize my understanding of current crime boys like this:

Tommy cares deeply for Wilbur, while holding complicated feelings about their past and Wilbur needs Tommy's support to function.

They're both erratic in different ways in terms of not knowing what they want. Or knowing where they want to be emotionally but having no idea how to get there. Tommy's self image is himself as absolutely correct and infalible and Wilbur having as close to the opposite self image as possible.

Tommy genuinely cares for Wilbur, and through that he ends up doing a lot of things that hurt him. I've gone into detail before but for example: Wilbur was talking about when he apologized he felt that people weren't receptive or considered him dangerous. That happened because Tommy took them aside and undercut Wilbur's efforts to apologize. This is amplified by how Tommy's been really uncomfortable with people who he's close to having connections other than their connection to him (such as the betrayal he expressed at Tubbo and Ranboo's relationship).

Tommy takes advantage of his position to isolate Wilbur, out of concern, out of bitterness, out of a desire for the old wilbur back, out of love, maybe any of the above, I personally lean towards all of the above. But it doesn't change that he does it. But like, as much as the motivations are based on genuine feelings Tommy's part, the systematic isolation of Wilbur is an abuse thing.

Why does Tommy have that position? Well, Wilbur's not quite in a place emotionally or physically where he can hold a conversation or get one location to the next without support (support Tommy most often provides). Which I mostly evidence through mechanical minecraft, how Wilbur plays and how he somehow still isn't wearing armor. And Tommy's the one to provide it. Wilbur brings Tommy around with him because without someone to support him he is too traumatized to function (and i mean, purgatory is pretty fucking bad on the trauma scale).

Wilbur's apology to Techno is the first one that Tommy fully can't interject in, and while Wilbur does start suicidally ideating at the end of that conversation it still goes so much better than previous ones because Tommy doesn't immediately reinforce to everyone involved 'Wilbur bad and dangerous'.

I also divert with a lot of sleepy bois fans in my observation of continuity that Wilbur has apologized to Tommy, repeatedly on many topics, but always in the same specific and action driven way that he's apologized to everyone else he's apologized to. Not the blanket "I'm sorry for everything, going forward I'll be exactly who you want" that portions of the fandom (and maybe Tommy) might want. I even think Wilbur's gone farther than he needs to, he's apologized that he wasn't there during exile to punch Dream which... I mean being dead at the time I'd say Wilbur's got a pretty solid reason it's not his fault he wasn't there.

Tommy has a habit of trying to simplify people to what he remembers them for. Wilbur's not the man who once forged Tommy's desires into rhetoric to legitimize them.

Tommy also expressed with some frequency that he doesn't believe Wilbur deserves to be alive (or prior to the revival, deserves to be revived). I don't think Tommy actually believes that deep down, but I do think Wilbur hears it.

Hopefully this clarifies things a bit. I have lots of contradictory crime duo thoughts.

#you could even say they're like brothers #Maybe the correct answer rather than many paragraphs of ranting was just that #they're brothers your honor

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sunnys-rewatch-blog · 2 years

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S2, E10

"Touched by an 'A'-ngel"

Jason's house has been broken into like, three times now. He is being way too cool about it. If Peter Hastings hadn't put an end to this poor man installing a fucking fence, maybe he'd have some privacy.

So much to unpack with this "weird photos of Aria" thing. First of all, there is no scenario I can think of where this would make sense for Alison to do. It reads like the writers are just using her as a scapegoat because they wanted to shock us, without regard for whether or not it made sense. If you're going to set us up to look at something a certain way just to give us a shock factor, the alternative can be used to develop characters and teach a lesson. But the girls never learn not to to jumping to conclusions like this, and I don't think Ali's motives for this are ever explored. It makes about as much sense as if you told me the milkman dropped a roll of film behind your bush, and contribute about as much to the story.

"Jason, you have to admit, this looks really bad"- that's rich, coming from you, Aria. Personally, I think the worst part of it is that your friends broke into his house. TWICE. Does it not occur to any of you that no one has to live their whole private lives doing only what "looks good" to you?

Here we go with this weird club thing.

Yep, this looks like a good place to talk to your (former) teacher about your secret relationship. Right here at the high school where he was a teacher a few weeks ago, months at most, during college fair day when the place is crawling with people.

A stable is a really odd place to go on an impulsive detour for lunch. Don't you usually have to make reservations for this kind of thing? I have never seen a place where you could just show up like this.

Why does Kate assume Hanna has any idea what's going on, here? It was Mona who said she went to this camp. They just rolled up here and didn't even ask if she was familiar? Even as a course of conversation? I'm imagining Mona starting a sentence like "This one time, at Equestrian camp-" and Kate squealing her tires straight into this parking lot.

Kate would have been a more effective villain in Season 1, before Hanna fully re-bonded with the other girls.

I understand Hanna having no knowledge of horse riding techniques, but has she really never seen one up close? Even at a fair or something?

I would still swear Ezra knew Aria's friends knew.

I don't think anyone ever mentioned what a shit friend Hanna is to Mona. They spent the summer bonding only for Mona to get dropped like a hot rock. On my first watch it really took me a while to warm up to her, I remember wishing Hanna would drop her as a friend- and she has been rude and generally terrible sometimes, to the point that I would fully respect it if Hanna did fully drop her for something like bullying Lucas or pressuring her to skip school in front of her mom- but some of their interactions are painful for other reasons.

How long was that microphone broadcasting? There was quite a bit leading up to Hanna's offensive comments. I'm not saying the rest of the conversation would have made that easy to hear, but the context might have softened the blow. I would like to think, if it were me in Kate's position, I might have been hurt and confused but I'd realize I had to make peace with her not liking me or wanting to share hobbies. I would take it as a sign to back off. Of course, I'm a full grown adult with a different life history and mindset. And I'm not a villain.

Why does Jenna talk like she's narrating a Stephen King novel?

Marlene was definitely reading either Twilight or one of it's derivative works when she was deciding how to write Ezria.

Kate's phone call with Hanna could have been written by a dungeon domme.

How many sessions did these girls go to? I only know about two, maybe three each. They're talking about it like they were going for months.

#alison dilaurentis #aria montgomery #anti ezria #emily fields #pll rewatch #ezria #pll spoilers #hannah marin #pretty little liars #spencer hastings #mona vanderwaal #mike montgomery #jason dilaurentis #jenna marshall #kate #tom marin #Dr. Sullivan

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t-lostinworlds · 5 years

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Drunk (Shawn Mendes)

Originally Written: Jun. 27, 2018 | Edited: Mar. 21, 2019

A/N: From wattpad and originally on first person POV but I changed it to second. And this was based off of my friend’s real experience when she got drunk, so yes, this is possible when you get REALLY drunk haha. Enjoy! x

Summary: Shawn never knew that his girlfriend would be extremely loyal even if she's drunk.

Warnings: Fluff and typos.

Word Count: 4.4k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

Shawn looked at you as he parked his car in front of your best friend's house where he is dropping you off for the night. Music was already blasting through the windows, the walls slightly shaking from the baseline with the lights dancing inside, flickering with the colors red, purple, blue and green.

"You sure you don't want to just stop by?" You asked, glancing at the house before turning your eyes back at him. Shawn smiled, "Yes honey, I'm sure. I need to finish a few more songs and get this album finished." You raised a knowing eyebrow at him, slight worry glinting in your eyes.

"What?" He chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the process. You shook your head at him and sighed, "You're always working Shawn. A few hours break won't hurt you baby." You interlaced your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm fine (Y/N). Plus, I'm not really in the mood to party." He beamed at you, lifting your hand to press it against his lips, the sweet gesture never failing to make your heart flutter.

"You have fun okay?" Shawn added. "But not too much?" You joked making him let out a chuckle.

"Hmm, maybe, but make sure you don't drink too much. You know how much alcohol you can handle." He reprimanded, shooting you a serious look, knowing fully well how you always complain about a hangover in the morning when you go out the night before. You rolled your eyes with a groan, shoulders slumping, like a child being told by her mother the same thing over and over again. "Yes Shawn."

He laughed at your response, feeling the need to tease you even further. "And don't put your phone on mute okay?" You sighed, "Yes sir."

Shawn chuckled. "And don't forget your coat. It's still cold out there. And fill your stomach with food before drinking. And—"

"Shawn! I swear to God. I’m not a child." He burst out laughing which earned an annoyed look from you, . "Okay, okay I'll stop. But seriously babe, don't put it on silent okay? In case there's an emergency."

"Yeah, yeah I won't." You gave him a soft smile, Shawn sighing with content and admiration as he stared at your beautiful face. That smile will never fail to make his heart melt, making him fall even deeper in love with you, as if he already wasn’t.

Shawn leaned in and gave you a quick but passionate kiss, both of your eyes closing to savor the love you have for one another. You pulled away, smiling from ear to ear.

"I love you." You whispered. "And I love you." He gave you one last peck before reaching for your door handle, opening it for you. You got out of the car and waved at him one last time.

He didn't drive away until he saw your best friend greet you at the door. They both looked back at Shawn’s direction, “You sure you don’t want to just stop by?” (Y/B/N) called out. “Nah, take care of her for me alright?” She gave him a quick nod, Shawn giving one last wave and blowing out a kiss for you before finally driving off.

Not even a few minutes later down the road, Shawn received a message from (Y/N). He made sure to stop at a red light before opening it, knowing he’ll get an earful if she found out he was texting while driving.

Y/N: Don't be so hard on yourself okay babe? Don't rush. That album you're working on will be amazing just as always and your fans are going to love it, without a single doubt. You're incredible. And I love you oh so much Shawn. Remember that.

Shawn couldn’t stop the grin on his lips from forming. You inspire and motivate him so much and he couldn’t have asked for anything else. You are his biggest supporter and you have never failed to show him that every single day and Shawn will forever be grateful to have you in his life.

He quickly typed in a response and continued his way home, his smiling never leaving his face.

A lot of people always wondered why he lets you go to parties with your friends that easily like it's not a big deal, but truth be told, it actually isn't, to him at least.

Shawn trusts you enough to let you go out without him hovering around you like a bodyguard. Yes, he can admit that he feels a bit over protective at times and he does have his fair share of insecurities but he's never been the type of guy who will deprive you from living your life for selfish reasons.

You are a free, beautiful bird, and he’ll never take that away from you. Shawn is aware that there will be guys at the party but he's not scared, not even one bit. He has nothing to worry about because you are responsible enough and he knows he can trust you fully. He will be forever sure you won't do anything that could ruin your relationship, let alone hurt him.

Trust and honesty is the key to keeping a relationship for as long as you possibly can. Without the two, things could get very complicated.

As Shawn got home, he directly started on writing a few more ideas about songs he’d like to write or a few lyrics that would eventually complete songs that are already in progress, drifting into his own bubble with his favorite muse inside his head, you of course.

Few hours later…

Shawn let out an exasperated sigh as his mind went blank. In most days, ideas would flow smoothly out of his brain like a waterfall. But in some days, his mind would just shut itself off, but that's just how things are.

He stood up and grabbed his coffee mug to refill it yet again, but before he could even stand up to his full height, Shawn suddenly felt his phone ring out of nowhere, startling him in the process. Glancing down and seeing your face, he didn’t hesitate to hit answer.

“Hey babe, everything okay?” He asked, finally making his way towards the kitchen and poured himself another cup of coffee. “Hey Shawn, uh, it’s (Y/B/N).” He knitted his eyebrows in confusion, surprised to hear your best friend's voice. “(Y/B/N)? Is everything okay? Where’s (Y/N)?”

“Well, it’s nothing serious but, (Y/N) got drunk. And I offered to drive her back to your place but she keeps saying no and that she will only go when it's with you and you only.” She said, sounding completely and utterly defeated.

As if on cue, Shawn heard his lovely girlfriend’s voice in the background, a bit muffled, but he heard it still. ‘Noooo I don’t talk with strangers, Shawn will be maaad. I only go with Shawn. Go away, you're not Shawn!’

(Y/B/N) sighed. "Case and point." Shawn can already imagine her shaking her head in disbelief. “Your girlfriend’s extremely loyal when she’s drunk Mendes.” She added knowingly, earning a laugh from him. “Okay, okay. Just bring her outside, or at least try to, I’m on my way.” She mumbled a quick okay and hung up, Shawn grabbing his keys and drove back to where he dropped you off a few hours ago.

Shawn pulled over in front of the house and saw his girlfriend barely standing up at the front porch, (Y/B/N) keeping you on your feet as much as she can. Shawn got out of the car and hurriedly walked towards them, shaking his head as he saw your state. You're definitely regretting this tomorrow morning.

“Thank goodness you’re here! Now take your girlfriend.” Your best friend exclaimed, relief washing over her face like she's finally done with you. “Nooo! I said I don’t gooo with strangers!” You slurred, eyes barely even open. “That’s Shawn you idiot.” (Y/B/N) rolled her eyes, shoving you playfully towards him.

“Shawn? Where?” You mumbled, searching in every direction as you opened your eyes, well tried to. You stumbled, tripping over your feet and fell forward. You're so lucky Shawn's reflexes were quick enough to catch you just in time.

He chuckled wrapping his arms around your waist and tried his best to keep your feet under you, “I’m here sweetheart.” You looked up and stared at him for a moment, your eyes squinting as if it's the only way you can see clearly. “Are ya suuuure you’re Shawn?” You asked, jabbing a finger on his chest.

“I swear to the heavens above Shawn, she only drank beer and nothing more. I didn’t give her drugs I promise.” (Y/B/N) raised her hands defensively, clearly not knowing what's happening to you since this is her first time seeing you really drunk. “It's okay, I know. Alcohol affects her a lot, more than the average person to be exact.” Shawn chuckled, glancing down to see you glaring up at him.

“Oi! Are you guys talkin’ ‘bout me?” You questioned angrily, your eyebrows knitted together, eyes squinting with a cute pout on your lips. "Only good things honey, all good things." He answered, shaking his head at you. "Why you callin' me honey?" You grumbled but Shawn ignored you as he turned to your best friend.

“I’ll take care of her from here. Thank you so so much.” He gave your friend an apologetic smile. "Of course Shawn, now get home safe you two." She gladly returned the gesture before turning on her heel and went back inside to tend to her other guests.

“Now, let’s get you home.” Shawn said, slinging your arm over his shoulder and wrapping his around your waist to try and support you. “I said nooo. I don’t talk to strangers! I only go with Shawn you understand that mister?” You took your hand off him making you lose your balance, your upper half slumping forward and towards the ground.

“Woah okay, careful.” Shawn grabbed your arm and placed it back over his shoulder, rolling his eyes at your stubbornness. He crouched down to hook his other arm behind your knees, swiftly carrying you bridal style and walking both of you back to the car.

“Why are you carrying me human? I have legs ya know. And I saaaid I only go with Shawn!” You said, softly punching his chest with your tiny hands, the alcohol draining all your strength from your body.

He chuckled, “It is me princess. I’m Shawn.” You let out a tired breath, burying your face on his chest as you mumbled, “Hmm, you do smell like Shawn." You pulled away a little and looked up at him with malicious glint in your eyes.

“But how would I know it’s the real Shawn and not a clone huh?” Shawn burst out laughing, head thrown back in the process as he looked at you with nothing but amazement.

He has no idea where all of this is coming from. But then again, you have always been an imaginative kind of girl, maybe all the alcohol heightened up your brain somehow, or maybe even fogging up your senses, making him unrecognizable in your eyes. He doesn't really know what’s gotten into you, but he knows for a fact that this is the alcohol talking.

But this right here is just an addition to why he trusts you so much. Most people make their mistake when they’re drunk because alcohol takes away your ability to think straight. You on the other hand are different.

This wasn’t the first time this happened. He doesn't exactly know why but you tend to look for him more when you’re drunk.

Well, he did tell you a few times that when you go out with friends or just without him, you should not talk to any strangers because he doesn't know what might happen to you.

Some guys take advantages of girls who are intoxicated and Shawn doesn't want that to happen to you especially when he's not around to protect you. So he made it clear that when a guy you don't know approaches, you get up and leave immediately because you don't know what their intentions are.

Shawn doesn’t exactly know how but that seemed to stick with you, especially when you get drunk.

“Why are you so cute?” He cooed looking at you with love and adoration. “I am not.” You protested with your eyes shut tight, the tiredness slowly overtaking your body.

“Yes, you are. So fucking adorable.” He whispered, giving you a soft kiss on your forehead. “Heey! Shawn is the only one allowed to kiss me like that!” You frowned, lightly punching his chest. He can’t help by roll his eyes at you.

Even when you’re drunk, you’re still stubborn as hell.

As Shawn reached the car, He gently placed you back on the ground to open the door. He helped you in and put on your seatbelt, your eyes staring at him intently, just silently watching his movements. “You okay like that or do you want to lean your seat back a bit?” He asked with one hand on the dashboard the other on the headdress, trapping your figure with his arms.

You placed your hand on his cheek and examined his face, your eyebrows knitting, concentration laced all across your features. “You’re so pretty.” You muttered, caressing his cheeks with your thumb. But before Shawn could even respond, you said, “But Shawn is waay prettier than you mister.” You huffed, patting his cheek before retracting your hand.

“Oh my God (Y/N), how many times do I have to tell you that it’s me?” He chuckled, leaning your seat back a bit to make you comfortable. He looked back up to face you as he tucked a hair behind your air, cupping your face softly.

“It’s me baby, It’s Shawn. I am your Shawn, honey.” He whispered, taking your hand and placing it on his cheek, his own just on top of yours, his eyes staring right into your eyes.

Then your face suddenly lit up as realization hit you, a soft giggle coming out of your lips, smiling wide. “Hi Shawny.” You said giving him a kiss, Shawn tasting the alcohol that’s dancing on your lips, making him chuckle at how that simple substance affected his girlfriend’s behavior throughout the night.

“Hello my love." He whispered, pulling away a little to let your foreheads touch and his eyes boring into yours, his grin wide as he brushed the tip of his nose with your own, moving his head side to side earning a soft giggle from you. “Let’s get you home.” He added giving you one last peck on the lips before closing the car door and making his way to the driver’s seat. He inserted his keys and started the car, looking at you one more time before driving of as you head off home.

After a few minutes of silence, you suddenly shifted in your seat to face him, back leaned up against the door. Shawn quickly checked to see if the doors are locked, he doesn��t want it to suddenly open and bringing you with it.

“Shawn?”

“Yes honey?”

“Do you really love me?” Shawn gave you a confused looked, glancing at you for a sec before turning his eyes back on the road, hand coming down to rest on your thigh. “Of course I do. I wouldn’t have stopped what I was doing to come pick you up if I didn’t love you (Y/N).”

“Maybe you just needed an excuse to distract yourself Shawn. Or maybe you feel obligated to take care of me. Maybe history is going to repeat itself and you’re going to pull a ‘Three Empty Words’ on me.” You rambled, a small pout adoring your lips that he so badly just wanted to kiss.

Shawn shook his head with a laugh. “Pull a ‘Three Empty Words’ on you? What do you mean by that baby?”

You groaned, shifting again so that now you were back to facing the road, “You know your own song Shawn! Don’t ask me what it means.” Shawn lets out a wheeze, completely amazed at your response, making sure to keep his focus on the road.

“I’m serious Shawn.” You jutted your bottom lip out even further as you crossed your arms over your chest, eyes looking at straight at him.

“And I am also serious when I say I do love you (Y/N), very much. I won’t pull a ‘Three Empty Words’ on you because I find myself falling in love with you over and over again, every single day. I have never been more in love in my life than I am with you (Y/N). Don’t you ever doubt that okay? I love you, and I will always love you no matter what.” He met your gaze, a look of seriousness on his face and pure sincerity in his eyes before quickly turning his attention back to driving.

You leaned forward with a big smile, resting a hand on his shoulder as you gave him a kiss on the cheek, redness covering it almost immediately. “I love you Shawn.”

“And I love you (Y/N).” Shawn replied with an equally bright smile to match your own, sighing contently.

“Woah, I’m getting dizzy.” You giggled, closing your eyes as you quickly sat back down, the movement of the car making you lightheaded. “I’m gonna take a nap.” You grumbled, leaning back into your seat and closing your eyes.

“Okay baby, go on and take a quick nap.” He reached over you to lean your seat back a bit more to make you comfortable as soon as he stopped at a red light. You mumbled a quick thank you before dozing off, Shawn placing a soft kiss on your forehead, the smile never leaving his lips as he you managed to make him feel giddy without even trying. You're just too adorable and he can never resist, you don't even know how much power you hold against him.

A few minutes later, both of you finally arrived back at your place. Shawn looked at you to see that you are still peacefully asleep. He got out of the car and made his way to your side, opening the door and slowly getting your seatbelt off. You hummed, your eyes still closed.

“Come here, let’s get you to bed.” Shawn whispered, hooking his arm under you to lift you up. Your arms instantly hooking around his neck as you nuzzled your head on his chest.

Shawn couldn’t stop his smile from growing. He probably looked like a lunatic, just constantly smiling out of the blue.m, but no one can blame him for being happy, so happy to have a girl like you.

Call him cheesy he doesn’t care, but he definitely feels like the luckiest man in the world.

“Baby.” Shawn whispered as soon as he reached the door, managing to carry you in the elevator without tripping over.

“(Y/N), honey, wake up for a moment please.” He tried again, placing a soft kiss on your hair earning a groan from you. “I need to open the door babe.” Shawn chuckled, slowly placing your back on the ground, keeping his arm wrapped around your waist.

“Okay.” You whispered as you hugged his torso, cuddling against his side with your cheek flat against his chest, eyes still shut.

Shawn felt his heart melt right then and there. “God you’re so adorable right now, and you have no idea.” He mumbled to himself, placing a soft kiss on top of your head before quickly fishing his keys out of his pocket, finally unlocking the door and pushing it open.

He crouched down and carried you again as he stepped inside, kicking the door shut and proceeded straight towards your shared bedroom.

“Shawn, I need to puke.” You muttered as soon as he placed you back on the ground. You ran towards the bathroom and emptied your stomach right in the toilet, Shawn hot on your heels.

He knelt behind you as he held your hair back, rubbing your back softly with a concerned look crossing his features. “What did I say about drinking too much.” He scolded, the ‘I told you so’ in his voice so loud and clear.

You groaned in response, not really wanting to hear anymore lectures and that made him laugh. “Better honey?” You nodded, slowly standing up and walking towards the sink to reach for your toothbrush.

Shawn gave you a kiss on the forehead before leaving the bathroom to get you a glass of cold water and when he came back you were already sprawled, face down on the bed, clothes and shoes still on.

He walked over to you and sighed, shaking his head in disbelief as he placed the glass of water on the bedside table. “(Y/N), you need to change.”

“I’m tired Shawn.” You whined, voice muffled because your face was pressed on the sheets. Shawn couldn’t stop his eyes from rolling.

He love you so much, with every fiber of his being, but he can’t also deny the fact that you’re such a handful when drunk.

“Come on, sit up.” He spanked your ass playfully. You turned your head and glared at him over you shoulder, Shawn staring at you with the same intensity, an eyebrow quirked up with his arms crossed over his chest as if to challenge you.

You rolled over with a groan, your hands reaching out to him. He gladly took them and pulled you up, making you sit on the edge of the bed. “Drink this, all of it. It’ll help lessen your hangover tomorrow.” He handed you the glass of water and made his way to his closet to get you some clothes to sleep in, settling with one of his shirt that’s obviously too big for you.

He got back just in time to see you finish the glass of water. He took it from you and placed it back on the nightstand, you mumbling a soft thank you in response.

Shawn placed his clean shirt beside you on the bed and knelt down in front of you, grabbing your feet to take your shoes off. He then went back up to undo the button of your pants, unzipping it and slowly tugging it down your legs, making you giggle. “What?” He look up at your face with furrowed brows.

“You’re going to see me naked.” You pointed out, giving him a cheeky smile. “Well, I’ve seen you naked plenty of times before.” He shrugged with a smirk.

You raised an eyebrow at him, “Touché.” He shook his head and chuckled, pulling your pants completely off. He stood up fully, discarding your pants on the floor before turning back to face you, “Arms up.”

You obeyed, eyes closed as you raised both of your hand above your head, Shawn grabbing the hem of your shirt and pulling it off your body, leaving you in nothing but your underwear.

Your hands suddenly reached behind your back, and before he can register what you were doing, you already unhooked your bra and threw it across the room.

Shawn inhaled sharply, taking a small step backward to admire you fully and oh boy what a sight to see, a beautiful goddess right in front of him.

“Goddamn.” He muttered under his breath. Yes, he’s seen you like this plenty of times but he has never gotten used to how breathtakingly beautiful you are. And every single part of your body is so gorgeous, from every scar, every beauty mark, every imperfection, every curve, to just, everything.

“Hey, no staring.” You warned, pointing an accusing finger at him. “Can’t help it.” He mumbled deeply, bending over until his face was leveled with yours, placing both of his hands on the edge of the bed just beside your bare thighs, tip of his nose brushing against yours.

“You are just so fucking beautiful.” He whispered before closing the distance between you two. He kissed you softly, lovingly, mouth moulding with yours as you both smiled against each other’s lips.

You placed your hand on his shoulder to you pull him closer, nibbling on his bottom lip earning a low growl from him as both of you wanted nothing more than to deepen the kiss even further.

But reluctantly, Shawn pulled away, pressing his forehead against yours, both your chest rising and falling with deep breaths.

“As much as I want to fuck you right now, I can’t because you need to rest.” I mumbled. “But–” You started with a pout, but Shawn shook his head with a soft smile.

“Tomorrow honey, you can have all of me.” He added, giving you one last peck, before telling you to raise your hands up again.

Shawn took his shirt that he placed on the bed earlier and put it on you. He tapped your right thigh, signaling you to crawl back up the bed and get yourself comfortable.

Shawn quickly got rid of his clothes, leaving him with only his boxers before sliding under the covers and cuddled right beside you. You placed your head on his bare chest as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling your body closer to his.

“Shawn?” He hummed in response, his eyes closing at the sudden feeling of tiredness. “Thank you for always taking care of me when I get drunk. I know I’m such a handful sometimes.”

“Oh you are definitely a handful most times.” He teased, opening one eye to see you look up at him with pout. He let out a deep chuckle, dipping his head to give you a kiss.

“But I’ll never get tired of taking care of you though. I’ll always take care of you baby, drunk or not because I love you oh so much.” He added, hugging your tighter. You sighed, a lovely smile playing on your lips, placing a soft kiss on his chest before nuzzling your nose on the crook of his neck, “And I love you too, oh so much.”

Nothing will always beat the feeling of having the love of your life in your arms, both drifting off to sleep with smiles drawn on your faces, legs tangled up under the sheets, breathing synchronized, and happiness filling up your hearts as it beats as one.

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roominthecastle · 5 years

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So you really think that Red is Illya? I got the feeling that Dom outright lied to Liz. This lovesick puppy act since childhood really doesn't fit, imo. It's like Red feels guilty about using Katarina to accomplish his own ends. He respected and was attracted to her (similar to Samar) but I don't think he ever truly loved her. I don't think he is Illya at all, but one who (like the real Red) got scapegoated for something Katarina did, lost his fam, and so used her & her childhood friend Illya.

Yes, for now I remain convinced that Ilya == our Red. And the “lovesick puppy act” fits, imo, but I do share your views on the rest + I got another message that ties into this nicely, so more on all of this behind the compulsory cut bc yes, it’s long again:

Everything that’s been hinted about Red’s past over the years (took on RR’s identity, was close to Katarina, knows Dom quite well, “difficult child”, Russian mother, well-versed in tradecraft, etc.) fits Ilya, so why would Ilya be a random third person in an episode that draws on all these clues to reveal another layer of our Red? If our Red was someone else who used Kat & Ilya, then why didn’t we see at least a firm hint of him doing that? This would have been the time to intro him given that we are ~6 years in now w/ one, maybe 2 more years to go.

I agree that what Dom told Liz is not the whole story (and the missing parts are gonna end up producing a much darker and less flattering picture when they are revealed) but the broad strokes are true, imo. If this whole ep is a lie, then this whole ep was kinda pointless to show us bc if Ilya is not our Red, then we see nothing of our Red in the very episode that is meant to provide us w/ a glimpse into his past and his ties to Kat and Dom.

I know many fans have issues w/ Ilya for various reasons (mostly for two, 1. he is not related to Liz at all and 2. he had feelings for Kat at some point) but I think Gabriel did an excellent job and his Ilya fits the bill for me:

Ilya is our Red ~30 years ago from Dom’s (forgiving/sugarcoated) perspective

3 decades – esp those 3 that Red has lived through – do change ppl, so Ilya having traces of the man we know today but not his fully developed persona and “code of conduct” is how it should be

“lovesick puppy” is what our Red is around Liz, too. he often embodies the “Dulcinea Effect” trope, too, and, generally speaking, he has problems managing emotional attachments (despite excelling at business relationships), so it makes sense to me that it’s already present in Ilya and the way he acts around Kat.

and Dom flat out lying to Liz is… why? he has nothing to gain by lying and everything to lose if Liz finds out that yet. another. dude. lied. to her face. That’s exactly why Red landed in prison, too, so pissing Liz off is really not the way to go.

There could be something to the manipulation angle, tho. I have another ask about this, too:

Red is a first-class manipulator w/ attachment management issues, so any question that begins with “is it possible he manipulated…” gets a yes from me, anon #2. He loves Liz, he is willing to die for her every time they run out of options, but love also doesn’t prevent him from pushing his secret agenda and using her to further it w/o letting her in on what it is exactly that he’s doing and why. This duality (fiercely protecting her while also carrying out a secret, death-magnet mission) is their “conflict engine” and is understandably a major issue for Liz. This behavior is what finally drives Dembe away, too, imo. He already warned Red in S4: “People are dying all around you.” Mr. Kaplan also kept telling him that he must change. Dom has the exact same complaint about his dogged and dangerous behavior. Everybody who knows him well seems to agree on this one thing.

So I think it’s entirely possible Red/Ilya did the same dance w/ Kat, as well. He genuinely cared for her but he also had his own agenda when he took on Reddington’s identity, one we don’t fully know yet, one that likely got her killed, one that Dom is still struggling to forgive him for. This whole thing was Ilya/Red’s idea and once he came up w/ it, he didn’t let go until he convinced Kat to go along w/ it.

“Rassvet” overshadows its lead-in episode but we get a quality build-up for this in 618 when Dom is all up in Red’s grill again:

Dom: *gestures at the cooler*Red: Thank you.Dom: Might as well offer. You’d take one whether I wantedyou to or not.Red: A beer?Dom: A beer. A life. You do what you want, no matter what Ithink.Red: Which you find unforgivable.Dom: You want to know what I find unforgivable? You notseeing how forgiving I am.Red: You forgiving? You forgave Katarina. But not me.

if we add to this bits from previous conversations like

“It was a Hobson’s choice. There was a woman and her child. Both were doomed. Both would die. I could either saveone or lose both. I chosethe child. It was… it was the worstthing I’ve ever had to do in my life. Worst thing by far. […] I was arrogant.” - Red, 319

“She’s gone because of choices you made for both of them. First Katarina andthen Masha. As far asI’m concerned, you killed myentire family!” - Dom, 320

Red: She deceivedme, faked herown death. At thetime, she wanted to getaway from me.Dom: Ha! Well, so do I.Red: I know you’ve been conditioned to assume my selfishness. I’m sure that’slargely my fault. You don’thave to believe me or help meor like me. You neverhave. I don’t know whyyou’d have to start now.But this isn’t about me, Dom. This is about Masha. If I don’t come back–Dom: You always come back!Red: If I don’t come back, you need to find her, Dom. Tell her who you are. I have to go. I’m sorry.Dom: For what?Red: All of it. I wish I’d been the person you wanted me to be.

“I’m not sure Elizabeth will ever be ready to learn about what you did to Katarina.” - Dembe, 422

it certainly reveals how Dom’s “Rassvet” story is incomplete and depicts Ilya/Red more like the person he wanted him to be and less like the one he actually was/is. If Ilya/Red purposefully neglected to inform Kat about what it was exactly that he intended to do w/ Reddington’s identity and it was too late to back out once they started, if he was playing his signature “I’m telling you a truth but I’m never telling you everything” game already, then Dom’s behavior makes sense: he believes Kat had no real choice since she was not aware what she was walking into when she agreed to Ilya/Red’s plan and this got her killed. Ilya/Red’s mission is an inherently noble one but not even inherently noble ends justify every means.

And then the exact same thing happened when Ilya/Red showed up in Liz’s life w/ his blacklist, telling her “I wanna help you. That’s why I am here.” when his motivations were far more complex and calculated from the start, and Liz is still not fully grasping them. But she is already questioning why he kept the fake identity, which is truly the key to everything. Dom’s story might not have been entirely faithful to reality, but while Liz previously had no handle on the million questions strategically obscuring Red from full view – so she had no real chance to unmask him –, now her attention is focused on the one question that can lead her straight to the truth. Dom – unintentionally or not – gave her a shortcut. Red knows what this means and he is scared.

I think what we ultimately have here is a conflict of true love and calculated/manipulative behavior that’s wrapped together to serve a semi-obscured mission motivated by a semi-obscured past. With Liz, Red has a second chance, a chance to right things he did wrong with Katarina -- but only if he is willing to adjust his behavior and start treating her as a real partner.

#lilyinspiration #tbl spec #tbl spoilers #long post

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minybangy · 6 years

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EXO reaction : Their S/O is a medical student/intern...

[Sorry if there’s any typos or mistakes]

Kim Junmyeon — Suho

A 24h shift is hard and very tiring, you ran in the ER all night, prepared an operation with your chief and took care of ungrateful patients who had dared to tell you you weren't doing your job correctly. What did they know about your job? So when you came home and the delicious scent of your favorite dish came to you, you felt truly happy. You quickly went to your kitchen, finding your boyfriend cooking, you couldn't help but come behind him and wrap your arms around him.

“Jagi, I missed you.”

You and Junmyeon had your habits, he was busy most of the time and so were you, but whenever you could, you always made sure to be there and to make time for each other.

Sometime you would run a hot bath for him to relax after rehearsals, sometimes he would give you a massage to help you recover from constantly running and walking in the hallways. Each of you always made sure the other was okay. And your relationship was working perfectly, sure there were occasional tensions but both of you were understanding and mature enough to make it work well.

Kim Minseok — Xiumin

You had a big exam coming up soon, and you weren't ready, really NOT ready. You worked, you really did but it was simply not enough and now you wanted to cry, frustration taking over, fearing to fail and to lose your chance to be a surgeon. Minseok was working out not far from you, but when he looked up and saw your eyes watering, he stopped, got up and came to you, asking what was wrong, so when you told him about fearing to fail, he sighed a bit, not really knowing what to do. He was covered in sweat, and you were sad, so the only solution he thought of was to take a long, warm shower.

After your shared shower, you were relaxed, wearing fresh comfy clothes, your boyfriend behind you, gently stroking your arms. He then took your flashcards, bribing you for motivation.

"Okay jagi, for every correct answer, I'll give you one kiss, stay focused."

Zhang Yixing — Lay

Exhausted was not a word strong enough to describe the state you were in. You wanted to fall and sleep for at least five days. Your back ached, and you could barely tell if you could feel your legs. The shower relaxed you though, maybe a bit too much as you were almost falling asleep while standing. You lazily placed your toothbrush in its cup, rinsing your mouth and quickly brushing your hair. You came out of the bathroom, wearing something comfy to sleep, and joined Yixing in your shared bed, clinging to him as he embraced you tightly. You both talked about your respective days, nothing special about it but it felt great to finally be with him and to be able to really relax. He played with your fingers for a little while, occasionally taking a strand of your hair between his fingers, not even knowing what to do with it, but he talked, his voice was low, almost a whisper, making you doze off easily. So when he asked you something, and you didn't answer, he looked down at you, a chuckle left his mouth when he saw your eyes tightly closed.

"You worked hard Y/N, I'm proud of you."

Byun Baekhyun — Baekhyun

Baekhyun, being the cutie that he is, would want to make sure that you were taking breaks, so as soon as he saw you rubbing your eyes or temples, he would get up, close your laptop and take your hand.

"C’mon, time for some fresh air!”

It could be simple things like just the two of you walking down the street for a bit or sometimes it could be little dates, far away from your books and headaches. He was proud, don't get him wrong, he was so proud of you and knew that you still had to work for a while before to go to bed, but your health is important to him so by making sure that you were stopping for a while, he felt better. And you were grateful, he was saving your head from exploding and your legs from stopping to correctly function due to the amount of time you were sitting.

Kim Jongdae — Chen

You were confident, there were really no reasons for you not to be. You worked so well and reviewed everything you had to. Your boyfriend had helped you as well and gosh, he saved you. Last month, you had an important exam to pass, well, important? More like decisive. Make it or break it, there was no way back.

Jongdae had accompanied you to get your results, but as you approached the place, you started to stress more and more. You somehow managed to calm down and enter the building, coming out with an envelope. You both sat on a bench nearby, your fingers playing with the sides of the brown paper, not daring to open it and reveal the final results. Your future was in there, written on a document. One word could literally change your whole life right now. Accepted or Rejected.

“Fighting Y/N, You can do it”

"I can't do it Jongdae, do it for me please."

So he did, he took the brown envelope, carefully opening it and took a paper out of it. There was no need to read everything. The most important was written in bold. He didn't say anything though, and you thought it was over until he took your hand in his, making you look up, seeing a wide smile spread on his face. He presented you the paper. Accepted. And at this moment, you thought your heart has stopped.

"Congrats Doctor. May I take you out on a date tonight or are you too busy for me now? Don't abandon me when you accomplish miracles and become famous."

Park Chanyeol — Chanyeol

Sometimes, mostly at the end of the week, you were struggling to keep everything in your head, too tired to be able to stay fully focused, you were frustrated, sighing and growling, throwing your book on your desk and dramatically plopping yourself on your bed, at least five times in the pasr hour. Chanyeol wanted to laugh at first, but when he saw how desperate and tired you were, he somehow had an idea. So one day, you saw him enter your living room, wearing some kind of human's anatomy printed clothes. Giggling, he planted himself in front of you.

"Jagi, let's make this fun! I'll be your model.”

He got up on the coffee table, facing you, he pointed at some muscles, asking you to tell him everything you knew about it. At the end of the day, you had learned everything you needed to know, and your boyfriend couldn't be prouder, knowing he had been a great help to you.

Do Kyungsoo — D.O

You were often coming home late, sometimes you would even forget to eat, going to bed as soon as you could and hiding in your man's arms, almost immediately falling asleep. Studies and work taking too much time and you being too unorganized, this mix not giving anything great for you and your health. Kyungsoo wouldn't say a lot, but he knew, he saw, you and your bad habits, so he would've created this little routine for you to follow, it was a pretty simple routine, but it was efficient: Water bottle to empty before a certain hour, not skipping any meals even if you really didn't have any correct schedule due to the hospital being an unstoppable rollercoaster, and finally, a good amount of sleep.

So when he saw you getting up on your own to cook, he felt proud, knowing that you were taking his words seriously. Yes it wasn't a lot, but it meant a lot to him, firstly because you were listening to him, but mostly because you were taking care of yourself.

“Eat well jagi”

Kim Jongin — Kai

You watched your timer for the fourth time, sighing, grabbing your pen again and writing down as fast as you could. You were testing yourself for an upcoming & very important exam, willing to do anything in your power to make as little mistakes as possible. So when your alarm went off, you stopped breathing for a microsecond, hoping you had it all correct. You took the paper with all the answers written onto it and proceeded to correct your test.

You jumped from your chair when you re-checked every answer for at least three times, everything was correct, you didn't expect to do this well, so you felt all the chains tightly wrapped around your lungs, fall, letting you breathe normally again. The little victory dance you were doing since a good minute made Jongin laugh, but it didn't stop him from joining you, taking your hands in his and dancing like two crazy kids for a little while.

"I knew you were smart baby! Now you deserve a long night of sleep and cuddles, come here."

Oh Sehun — Sehun

As per usual, you were working when Sehun came back from rehearsals, you were memorizing tons of information and medical stuff, just like every other day, and you were not closing your books until late every night. Sehun was proud, and very understanding, knowing that to succeed, you needed to give your all, but he was also worried, always making sure you were still going to bed and you were getting a reasonable amount of sleep before going back to your revisions. He would watch you work sometimes, but of course, you wouldn't know that; this man wouldn't let you catch him observing you lovingly while you were so focused.

But as much as he would understand and accept the fact that you are as busy as him, he would still want some of your time, and if you ever forget him, don’t worry, he’ll make sure to remind you to pay attention to him.

One last thing, this guy would brag about you at any given opportunity.

"Sehun, we haven't seen Y/N for a while, you should bring her someday, we miss her!”

"Sorry hyung, you know doctors are busy. She's performing her first operation today!"

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michaelbranch · 3 years

Text

A Brief Summary of Ideas: The Madness of Crowds

*These summaries are kept intentionally very brief, just hitting what I consider some of the important/interesting takeaways, most word-for-word or paraphrased. My goal is also to stick to ideas/principals that might guide others (or my future self) in deciding the value of a read (or re-reading). T = takeaway, Q = Question

The Madness of Crowds: Gender, Race, and Identity

Author: Douglas Murray

Assumption that a heightened moral knowledge comes with being an oppressed/minority group. "Speaking as a ..."

All these causes started as legitimate human rights campaigns.

Gay

Can't award yourself the right to attribute motives to others that you can't see but which you suspect. Prerequisite for avoiding perpetual confrontation is an ability to listen to people's words and hold some trust in them.

Problem of changing societal positions so swiftly is that unexplored issues and arguments are left behind in the wake.

We still don't have much idea as to why some people are gay.

Hardware = something people can't change (and thus shouldn't be judged on). Software = can be changed (and thus may be available for judgement). Inevitably there will be a push to make some software issues into hardware.

LGBT groupings composition is unsustainable and contradictory. Internal frictions and contradictions even within groupings.

Some heterosexuals are genuinely disturbed by gay people. Plenty of stages between absolute equanimity and ease around people and a desire to violently attack them.

Marxist Foundations

See society not as an infinitely complex system of trust and traditions evolved over time, but solely through the prism of power.

Anyone who questions an "ism" finds themselves accused. Easy weapons to wield with no price to pay for wielding them unfairly.

When it is nearly impossible to tell what is being said, almost anything can be said, and exceptionally dishonest arguments can be smuggled in under the guise of complexity. T= be weary of arguments that can't be presented simply.

Women

Society has doubled down on the belief that biological difference can be denied or ignored.

T= When people make exaggerated claims about what someone else said, its likely an example of people deliberately and lazily adopting simplified misrepresentations of the argument in order to avoid the difficult discussion that would otherwise have to take place.

Contradictory statement = possible to be sexy without being sexualized

Presumption that almost all relationships in the workplace and elsewhere are centered around the exercise of power. Various types of power; many parties can hold different ones.

Privilege is unbelievably hard to define or quantify. How can strata be arranged to be flexible enough to include everyone but consider various comparative changes throughout life. Also, easier to see in others but more difficult to see in ourselves.

Intersectionality is not a fully worked out science.

Concept of the patriarchy has become so ingrained its rarely disputed.

Impact of Tech

If we are running in the wrong direction; tech helps us run faster.

Internet has allowed new forms of activism and bullying. To find people accused of "wrong thing" works because it rewards the bully.

"The one thing we can say with certainty about the advent of new technologies is that people overestimate their impact in the short term and underestimate their impact over the long term." -Variously attributed.

What we say in one place may be posted in another, not just for the whole world but for all time. Having to find a way to speak and act as though it may be in front of everyone. To speak in public is now to have to find a way to address or keep in mind every possible variety of person.

T= Don't sacrifice truth in the pursuit of a political goal.

Race

Some portion of black studies started attacking non blacks. Growth of "whiteness studies" w/ aim of disrupting racism by problematizing "whiteness". Displaces celebratory nature of many race studies to with problematizing others.

Catastrophizing has become one of the distinctive attitudes of the era.

Q= Should we seek color blindness (get beyond race to individual judgement, making skin color effectively an unimportant aspect of a person's identity)?

An idea that since everything was set up by a structure of white hegemony everything is laced with racism and therefore everything must be done away with.

If people got things so wrong in the past, how can you be sure you are acting appropriately today?

Important in crowd maddening mechanism: person who professes themselves most aggrieved gets the most attention. Rewards outrage over sanguinity.

Politicizing issues such that the speaker and their innate characteristics don't matter. What matters is the speech and ideas they give voice to.

Easy(er) to slip up not on an issue of motive but, especially when no other evidence is available, a crime of language.

Social media age has brought us opportunity to publish uncharitable and disingenuous interpretations of what other people have said.

Equality of opportunity AND outcome almost certainly impossible.

Forgiveness

T= Context collapse: conversation/act taken out of context and used to create a simplified version of a person or their beliefs.

Q= How, if ever, is our age able to forgive? Since everybody errs during their life there must be - in any healthy person or society - some capacity to be forgiven. Part of forgiveness is the ability to forget. The internet will never forget.

Actions have consequences that are unbounded and limitless. Constantly acting in a web of relationships in which every action starts a chain reaction. A single word or deed could change everything.

Without being forgiven we would remain the victim of the consequences forever.

T= Historically perpetrators and offended both die out and the grievance fades over time. Internet leaves a permanent record.

Internet helps people approach the past from an all-knowing angle. Retributive instinct of our time that suggests we know ourselves to be better than people in history because we know how they behaved and how we "would have" behaved.

To view the past with some degree of forgiveness is among other things an early request to be forgiven in return.

Trans

Every age before this one has performed or permitted acts that to us are morally stupefying.

A considerable range of cultures has adapted to the idea that some people may be born in one body but desire to live in another.

For intersex people, the question of what medical intervention might be suitable and when is a matter of serious contention.

Very hard to know how to navigate the leap beyond biology into testimony.

Still almost nowhere near understanding trans; including how common it is.

Autogynephilia: arousal that comes from imagining yourself in the role of the opposite sex.

Q= whether what one person believes to be true about themselves has to be accepted as true by other people?

Questions about the age at which people who believe they are in the wrong body should be allowed to access drugs and surgery are worth considering.

Q= What do you need to do to be content with your body, not change it?

Seems we're running to quickly on the trans issue, scared to be on the wrong side of history.

Some contention between trans and feminist ideas.

T= little contention that equal rights should be given. Issue is preconceptions and assumptions about how to go about tackling the issue.

Q=Claims of human rights violations are inversely proportionate to the number of violations in a country. -Daniel Patrick Moynihan. Only a very free society would permit (or encourage) claims about its own inequities.

T= when people attempt to sum up our societies in terms of simplistic structures ask, "compared to what". Not to say elements of our society can't be improved.

The victim is not always right, nice, deserves no praise, and may not be a victim.

Incline towards generosity when interpreting others words/acts.

-People are wiling to interpret remarks from their own tribe in a generous light while reading opposing ones in as negative a light as possible.

To assume that sex, sexuality, and skin color mean nothing would be ridiculous. To assume that they mean everything would be fatal.

The madness we are living through is an over-reaction to past injustice. Belief is that the fastest and best way to address this is to over-compensate.

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mittensmorgul · 7 years

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I don't really like S6 Dean. Despite being right most of the time, he didn't take the time to understand people's motives and was quick to issue ultimatums (cough cough Cas). He was very demanding of others - Sam, Bobby, Cas. I loved soulless!Sam, though. Can I ask for your thoughts/links?

Hi! And yeah, I think this is one of the difficulties with s6. Nearly the entire season is presented from Dean’s pov, with the exceptions of 6.04 (from Bobby’s pov) and 6.20 (from Cas’s pov). We get a rare few glimpses through anyone else’s eyes for the entire season, and it’s sometimes easy to forget that when we’re being told the story from Dean’s pov specifically we are supposed to feel his frustration and anger and desperation and betrayal. Instead I find that people sublimate those feelings, and instead of directing them outward at ~all the shit that put Dean in a place to feel that way~, viewers direct it back AT DEAN HIMSELF, rather than feeling it from Dean’s pov, simply because it’s freaking difficult to internalize that as the main pov of most of the season.

In turn, we find ourselves in Dean’s typical position, of sublimating those negative feelings. *insert that gif from 12.05 of Dean telling Sam that sublimation is kinda his thing…*

I’ve been blarghing in Lizbob’s direction for the last few days about early s6, and she helped me work through this, so the following is loosely cobbled together from that chat. It’s about half me, half lizbob, edited to look coherent. Hopefully. :P

Dean WAS right about nearly everything in s6. Tragically so. Similar to how he was proved right throughout s4 when we previously saw Sam “compromised” by a supernatural influence. He was desperately trying to save all the people he loved from horrifying fates, and they weren’t LISTENING. In s6 it took him six episodes to convince Bobby to help him figure out what was wrong with Sam, because even Bobby didn’t trust him after hiding Sam’s ~aliveness~ FOR A DAMN YEAR from Dean

So it’s not like Dean was in a mood to be patient with people lying to him, keeping secrets from him, or working behind his back, right from the start of s6. In 6x04 Dean reaches out for help but from BOBBY’s POV it’s the last straw on him being needy. So Bobby, Sam and Cas all shut him down pretty quickly.

And Samuel thinks he’s a sissy (Lizbob’s line there for a year.

Bobby did have his whole soul issue, but honestly A WHOLE FREAKING YEAR. He’d known Sam was alive, known that he’d been hunting with the Campbells, known that he’d suddenly and mysteriously returned from Hell with no explanation, and had become Robohunter and that Sam didn’t want Bobby to tell Dean that he was alive and back from Hell.

Like, how much more personally betrayed is it possible for Dean to feel? That Bobby would keep Sam’s resurrection from him when Bobby knew how much Sam meant to Dean. I mean, just a few years earlier Dean sold his soul to bring Sam back from the dead, and then went to Hell for it himself. Bobby HAD to know what Sam’s “death” in 5.22 was doing to Dean, and he still chose to hide Sam’s not-deadness from Dean FOR A YEAR because he promised Sam he would.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

So he’s left with what, exactly? The car, and a dwindling and broken relationship with Lisa, BECAUSE of everyone stumbling back into his life in 6.01. Even after Dean started hunting again, Sam still went his own way, did his own thing. Only after 6.03 Did Sam even agree to get back in the Impala with Dean, and only then because his other car had been wrecked when a couple of fighting angels squashed it.

Then there’s all the stuff that was a direct result of Sam’s being soulless. If Sam hadn’t been soulless Dean wouldn’t have been turned into a vampire and not done that to Lisa and Ben, like just for example.

Everyone is SO ANGRY in season 6. And Dean is this lost confused puppy who was just getting over a massive breakdown, and making a small boring safe life. And then every single root cause of his trauma is back within a week. No wonder he’s getting snappy after a while when no one will tell him anything.

He is the lost confused narrator and detective trying to figure out the season. The only info we know is what Dean knows, or what Sam learns post-soullessness that he shares with Dean. And even when Sam’s back he’s not really the narrator because Dean was the sole POV for long enough that every thread is tangled around him.

And we know he doesn’t fully trust Sam right from the start (he’s been drugged with djinn poison and hallucinating Azazel when it’s actually Sam giving him the antidote, and then he gets dosed with djinn poison again), and he sees Cas is acting shady and hiding stuff from him too, and he’s not even sure he can trust Bobby because he’d been hiding all this from him “for his own good” for a year, and he can’t bring this crap home to Lisa and Ben…

From Death asking him about the souls and digging deeper to what is Cas up to, what is Samuel up to, what was Crowley up to, blah blah blah and he doesn’t even want to THINK Cas is up to something.

When Death himself warns you about something Very Serious going on, it’s probably a good idea to take that lesson seriously, but it’s easier to think Cas is a dick than that he’s doing something awful he doesn’t want to tell Dean about.

(sublimation)

But also we, the audience, would rather believe that Dean must be wrong about at least some of this, because OWIE IT HURT to feel this level of betrayal and broken trust and abandonment and horror toward the core family that is practically ALL Dean has ever had in his life. WE don’t want to believe that our beloved Sam, Bobby, and Cas could (whether intentionally or unknowingly) do so wrong by Dean. And yet, he keeps fighting for ALL of them, because they ARE his family, and all he really has.

Then even when Dean earns Sam’s soul back, having played Death for a day and had his first majorly painful lesson in the natural order and cosmic consequences™, he’s still got to deal with the trauma and managing Sam’s reactions to learning the truth of his own “missing year.” Sam kept “scratching the wall” and Dean was doing everything in his power to convince Sam to just leave it alone, on top of everything else he was trying to juggle essentially alone...

So you don’t have to like Dean, or like the way he reacts to all of this, but hopefully this at least goes a little way toward explaining WHY he does what he does. Because really, in s6, Dean was not wrong. He was vindicated by the narrative in the most horribly painful ways.

Sometimes we do the wrong thing for the right reasons, as Cas reminded Dean in 9.10. Cas was speaking from experience, and Dean knew it. S6 was the experience Cas was referring to, having done the wrong thing for the right reasons… all to save one human… I mean… *clutches at chest and falls over*

S6 Dean may have been right about pretty much everything, but egad he wanted nothing more than to be freaking wrong for once. Being right is sometimes the absolute worst.

Just like he was right about John being possessed in 1.22.

Just like he was right about there being no way out of his deal in s3.

Just like he was right about Ruby in s4.

Just like he was right about Cas “acting shady” and Metatron being up to no good in s8.

Just like he was right about the devastating consequences of using the Book of the Damned in s10.

Just like he was right about there being something “off” with Cas after 11.11.

Just like he was right about the BMoL in s12.

(and for me, personally, why I believe he’s also right about Cas being “sock puppeted” by Jack after 12.19, because the narrative– almost entirely without exception– vindicates Dean’s gut instinct about the Big Narrative Arc Issues).

You absolutely don’t have to like Dean in s6. Maybe you’d react to those circumstances in an entirely different way. Maybe you tend to identify more with Sam or Cas and feel a little yanked around by the narrative in s6 because of it. But hopefully you can at least see Dean’s pov here, and even without liking it, maybe at least understand and sympathize with the guy a little. He was having a REALLY awful couple of years there...

#spn s6 #we don't talk about season six #oh DEAN #the scheherazade of supernatural #Anonymous #seriously though why doesn't everyone just trust dean's gut instincts it's like he's got an uncanny magical gift here...

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motorcyclegirlfriends · 7 years

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I'm new in fandom, supercorp is my first one and all this discourse (it's toxic vs it's not toxic/SDCC was our fault vs. wasn't our fault) is really tiring me. I agree that actors should not be held responsible for the writers decisions, so the Chris Wood bashing, despite my dislike for Mon-el, was over the top among some blogs. But, i'm not one for the idea that real fans don't complain about the show. If someone is criticizing the show with the proper tags, are they still wrong? [1]

I'm genuinely curious about this, not trying to be rude or to pick a fight. Like i said, this is my first experience in fandom and i'm trying to educate myself in what ways i should behave. You seem to be someone who wouldn't mind answering my questions, but if you getting tired of talking about this just ignore it, that's understandable

I don’t mind answering your questions at all!

I'm not really saying that it’s wrong to criticize the show a lot. Even constantly, if it’s warranted and not overly cruel.

But it’s like... say you joined a book club because you love to read, and every month you all read a new book. And every time you read the book, you come in with ideas. Symbolism and themes and character analyses and more.

You have some things you don’t like, usually a few pretty big things, and you’ll probably mention those, too. Because you can still be a fan and openly dislike parts of the material.

But the fun of going to the club is being with a group of people who love the same thing you do so you can finally talk about it in-depth, so they can add their own in-depth thoughts.

And you go to this club, only to find that all the members want to talk about are the things they didn’t like about the book.

And every time you try to bring it back around to the more positive things (so you can do what you really love, which is discuss what everything really means and come up with new ways to think about the material in a way that celebrates it) they can’t get fully immersed because they’re still so angry about the elements they didn’t like.

And it reaches a point where they’ve fully established what it is that they didn’t like, but they keep coming up with more things to say about it, like, “and you know why it really sucks? If you think about how it relates to-” and it’s kind of like-

“Yes, I understand why this thing was bad. We’ve established it. And I’m sure there are new angles to consider, but we could be considering all the different angles of the things that were good about the story. Because there were a lot of good things.”

But they don’t want to talk about those things as much as the bad things. They’ll touch upon them and even agree with them, but they’ll spend more energy in discussing the things they didn’t like.

And you reach a point where it’s like??? why are we even here? Why do we read these books if they’re all terrible, and why do we all get together in a group just to complain? This isn’t what I thought it would be like. And I can’t imagine that you’re really enjoying yourselves, either.

But they have every right to talk about the things that they are annoyed with. There’s nothing wrong about the action.

However, in order to make the book club an enjoyable place, there has to be some moderation of the tendency to talk about negative things.

It kind of like if you have a friend who complains about their life non-stop. They aren’t doing anything necessarily wrong in venting to you, but the reality of the situation is that if they do it constantly, and they don’t also bring equal positivity to the friendship, you’re not going to really want to be around them. People generally don’t like being in a negative atmosphere for long.

In a lot of ways, clubs and fandoms function like a relationship. Any group that has consistent open communication functions like a relationship.

You have to work toward making it a healthy interaction, and that means sometimes sacrificing habits that damage it, even if the habits themselves aren’t inherently bad.

What I’ve been arguing for is not the silencing of criticisms, but the moderation of them for the benefit of the fandom.

What I’ve been arguing is for this fandom to function like a healthy relationship, with it’s ups and downs, rather than the unending downward slope that we’ve been experiencing.

Side note: I wouldn’t say that, even accepting the idea that Jeremy said what he said because he was frustrated with the fans, that it was the fans’ fault (And I say Jeremy bc I still feel like Melissa joined in on a joke without any real motivation behind it).

For me, the point of discussing the reasons Jeremy said what he said the way that he said it has not been to shift the blame, but to partially explain how he wasn’t saying it because of homophobia.

Perhaps it technically wouldn’t have happened if Jeremy wasn’t frustrated with the supercorp fans who had been harassing people, but it also wouldn’t have happened if Jeremy and Melissa had been more cognizant of lgbt+ fans’ sensitivities.

When it comes to blame in this case, it’s pretty much ‘who did the worse thing’ vs ‘people are still responsible for their words and actions’.

But I’ve been more interested in breaking down why things happened the way they did primarily to prevent the projection of malicious or hateful thoughts onto people without evidence that those thoughts exist, rather than to say “it’s actually the fans’ fault!”

#sdcc superfail #Anonymous

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