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#be nice to them or respect what they're doing or anything
hype-blue-fixation · 2 days
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SFW Ler/Lee Rosie Tickle Headcannons
(Some of these might be a little intense, you have been warned)
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LER
She is 100% ler and loves being the one to "take care" of everyone else.
She is wild and creative with pet names and isn't afraid to say silly ones.
Feels more confident as a playful ler and wants her lee to feel like a giddy little child.
Only likes being more sadistic/teasy to lees that she knows extremely well (aka Alastor).
Loves having tickle conversations and using any revealed information against the victims.
Her favorite tools are nails (she purposely has her nails done nicely) teeth, feathers, tongue, and markers.
Loves to "tenderize" her lee with hard tickles.
Loves drawing dissection lines on her lee and play threatening that she's going to make snacks out of them.
Enjoys putting sweet foods and sauces on her lee and licking it off, especially honey and marinara.
Goes insane for tickle chases and embodying the tickle monster. Seeing her lees racked with fear and anticipation makes her thrive.
Is an aftercare queen. The worse the torture, the sweeter the care.
Respects boundaries, but isn't afraid to push the limits of her lees. She wants to indulge them in all their dark little fantasies until they safe word out of it.
Enjoys figuring out the weaknesses of her lees and exploiting them.
LEE
Does not react.
She enjoys the sensation of tickles but it's difficult to make her move or laugh.
Her worst spots are her palms, neck, and feet.
Compliments and encourages her ler.
Likes to fluster her ler and is very patient with them when they're upset or struggling.
Has a preference for soft tickles.
Is willing to try anything her ler wants, and will guide their hands or give them instructions on what to do.
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scoobydoodean · 2 days
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just saw somebody saying that cas is a pushover for dean…. obviously that’s not true. but can i have some solid evidence just to make me feel more sane?
I mean Cas's baseline state is ignoring what anyone wants him to do imo. It's just when he ignores what most people want him to do, he makes this face: 🙄
And when he ignores what Dean wants him to do, he makes this this face. 🥺
But anyway:
"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in." (4.02)
ANNA: "Uhm, guys, the angels are talking again. / SAM: What are they saying? / ANNA: It's weird. Like a recording. A loop. It says: "Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight, or we hurl him back to damnation." (4.10)
"[I tricked you into coming into town] Because whatever I ask [for you to turn an innocent person over to me for execution], you seem to do the exact opposite [protect them from me]." (4.15)
After kidnapping Dean to make him torture for them: "This is too much to ask, I know. But we have to ask it." (4.16)
[Kidnaps Dean and locks him up] (4.22)
[Flies away abruptly because Dean asks a question he doesn't want to answer] (5.01)
"I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world—and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself." (5.02) (Note: Cas blaming Dean for everything going wrong here is also some major bullshit).
CASTIEL: May I borrow [your amulet]? / DEAN: No. / CASTIEL: Dean. Give it to me. / DEAN: All right, I guess. (5.02)
Cas flies off to kill Jesse when Dean and Sam are in direct moral opposition. (5.06)
ANNA: I'd say the Winchesters don't trust me. / CASTIEL: They do. I don't. I wouldn't let them come. (5.13)
You're not gonna finish that? [Takes Dean's burger without waiting for an answer] (5.14)
[Kidnaps Dean and locks him up] (5.18)
"Maybe they're desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them." (5.18)
[Beats the shit out of Dean in an alley] "I rebelled for this?! So that you could surrender to them?" [kidnaps Dean and locks him up again] (5.18)
DEAN: Whoa, wait. You’re gonna take on five angels? / CASTIEL: Yes. / DEAN: Isn’t that suicide? / CASTIEL: Maybe it is. But then I won’t have to watch you fail. 
CASTIEL: You think I came because you called? I came because of this. [The Staff of Moses] / DEAN: Oh, well, it's nice to know what matters. / CASTIEL: It does help one to focus. (6.03)
CASTIEL: I need your help. / SAM: [ Scoffs. ] That's rich. Really. / CASTIEL: [ Grunts, tosses the jar of locusts at SAM. CASTIEL performs air quotes during this speech. ] Sam, Dean, my "people skills" are "rusty." Pardon me, but I have spent the last "year" as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. But believe me, you do not want that weapon down here. Help me find it. Or more people will die.
[Flies away abruptly when Dean asks anything he doesn't want to answer] (6.03)
Cas tortures a child while Dean pleads with him not to do it (6.03).
[Yanks Dean's wrist over without asking and slices his palm open to use his blood for a spell] DEAN: Whoa, whoa! Hey! Ahh! Why don't you use your own? / CASTIEL: It wouldn't work. I'm not human.
[Flies away abruptly when Dean is mid-sentence] (6.06)
Cas ghosts Dean for days while Dean pleads for help in prayers (6.05-6.06)
Those are some moments of note up to my current rewatch episode.
Less organized but past current rewatch point some random momence:
The entire plot of season 6 where Cas is going behind their backs the whole time culminating in him refusing to let go of his plan while Dean pleads him to do just that.
Fun lil Deancas bitchy compilation set here
[Beats the shit out of Dean flies away with the angel tablet]
Refuses to come out of Purgatory
Ignores Dean's nightly prayers in Purgatory
Ignores Dean's prayers and calls all of the tiiiiiiiime sometimes for weeks
Locking Dean in the dungeon... again. (S9)
DEAN: I'm glad you're here / CAS: *Leaves* (10.03)
Keeping Demon Dean from doing demon things :(((( (10.03)
Works with Sam to decode the Book of the Damned behind Dean's back.
CAS: No fighting. / DEAN: Tell [Claire] that. / CAS: Both of you.
"YEAH you know what I like about him? It's that he's sarcastic, but he's THOUGHTFUL and APPRECIATIVE too."
"If I plan to do anything else stupid, I'll let you know."
CAS: So I should just sit here? / DEAN: Pretty much. / CAS: NO.
[Look of utter loathing] "Dean. You are NOT a talking dog." (13.16)
"At least I don't look like a lumberjack."
Steals The Colt to kill Kelly Kline when Sam and Dean want to save her -> Does a 180 into wanting to protect Kelly and still won't include Sam and Dean, instead knocking them unconscious (12.19)
Locks Sam and Dean out of the dungeon so he can torture Donatello for information (13.14)
Also: #hot girl cas. And anyway, if Cas decreases his bitchy basline tendencies to be bitchy around Dean and Dean only, and instead indulges him occasionally by doing things like dressing up like cowboys, we should be fond of this because the angel the size of a Chrysler building who has killed thousands lets Dean put him in little outfits to make him happy and there is something very cute about that.
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happy for the people enjoying punk Steve lately and genuinely not criticising them, only expressing a different thought in parallel (I hate how saying "genuinely not criticising" can make it sound even more passive-aggressive but I'm genuinely genuinely not criticising! I'm not suggesting other people are liking my favourite character wrong that would be so douchey)
I just always like the idea that Steve isn't, like, repressing a secret desire to be unconventional and join some kind of counterculture and one day start showing his true, wilder self in his fashion and grooming choices
that the way he looks is literally just what he's like
you could give him total freedom of choice and tell him to go hog wild and he'd still be chumping around in polos and light-wash jeans
they're comfortable and he likes how he looks
he likes sports and cars and his favourite Star Wars movie remains the one with the teddy bears
any "unconventional" stuff he does is very subtle and minor like he was indeed wearing a touch of strawberry lip gloss in the summer of 1985 because he needed a little cheer-me-up and he felt like the blue uniform washed him out, he's a warm autumn for god's sake he shouldn't be wearing blue
he would get, like, one ear pierced and wear a small plain gold stud and he'd feel very special about it
Eddie: gradually filling up his whole skin with increasingly elaborate tattoos
Steve: got a little heart with "E+S" in it on his inside forearm where it's not conspicuous but he can take a look at it and smile to himself any time he wants
he's not holding back this is just what he needs (and he thinks Eddie's tattoos and hair and jewellery and et cetera et cetera are badass and beautiful)
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abyssalpriest · 9 months
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I think whatever I end up doing the lesson is at its core "you need to stop seeing all attempts at saying you experience something as you taking up too much space and being dangerous, and you also need to understand everyone always makes mistakes sometimes (nothing anyone thinks is fully right) and you're not lesser and amateur at channelling because you aren't fully right, and also some third thing he says there is but idk what it is"
#Bc I don't want to be an authority anyway I just want to have fun embodying my role as a channeller of his like....#And IDK I think at some point I need to understand that cycles of abuse happen when people think they're owed something and that others#deserve to go through what they went through. But I.... Am so against continuing the cult cycle that I sit here making light of#my life's work and not respecting is at all on the off chance it might negatively impact anyone in any way bc negative impact on my mind is#just immediately equalled to Cult Activity in my head. But like. Bruh. I don't even like interacting w people that much and I have the#Schizotypal Thing of not having an impulse to make new friends let alone a fuckin cult#Anyway. I need to stop catastrophising ''it would be nice to make this whole channelling Leviathan into an official thing#and test the limits of channelling and divination and whatnot'' into ''oh my god that's making myself an authority like he said not to do#and also that's just borderline making a cult that's continuing cycles of abuse'' bruh. Me occasionally doing a reading about his opinions#on something for someone else while making sure that someone understands my disclaimers that it's being translated through me/etc#Or something like that. Is not..... Declaring myself an authority on anything nor roping them in to rely on me ESPECIALLY when I always#explain how you SHOULDN'T rely on me as fact bc it's never fact like that's....#Anyway. I should've expected this now that I think about it bc he often works with spiritual consultants for human groups and shit like#And he is endlessly humbling lbfr he always tells people who are worth working with when they're being dumb/etc and I want to be#Worth working with. Anyway. God hello I Need More by Misanthrop. ''I need more I need nothing I need more I need nothing'' yeah exactly#That's already a leviathan song this context is absolutely a mood. There is a MIDDLE GROUND.#Anyway again this is years away but#I'm way too socially anxious to do anything close to the thing like this blog just Existing is already testing all my social buttons but hey#ramblings //#Diary //
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morningmarionette · 1 month
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im currently writing an atsugawa (I hate the name shin soukoku or whatever I'm sorry but I'm actually not. also I cannot pronounce soukoku {this is the real reason I don't use soukoku}) and I don't even ship it lmaoo
#maris bsd 🗞️#like its not a bad ship for my personal tastes#I like them alot more in trios tho I've realized#absolutely adore anytime atsu aku and kyouka are together#two disaters and a teenage girl going through the inexplicable horrors#my favorite#I also desparately wish more people saw the atsulucygawa vision.....#anyways the fic is actually more like before an establish relationship but you can read it as romantic if you want#you'd have to work extra hard though because their bickering isn't like#romantic bickering they're actually kinda getting on each others nerves#but then they have a cute moment talking about their respective agency co workers and realize they do have common ground and that's how muc#they love their lil found dysfunctional families#actually its mostly akutagawa talking Abt port mafia (IM SICK OF PPL SAYING HE DOESNT CARE ABT THEM IDC I wRITE CANON NOW TY) and atsu#realizing that akus never rlly been in a position where he could safely and openly show his affection for anyone#and the one time he did they left (dazai) (this is how the conversation starts)#(aku says smth Abt gin and atsus like “awhh you care alot :3” and akus like “no I don't” and then atsus like “ykw its okay to care Abt ppl”#and akus like “:(( but what if they leave again” and atsus like “but what if they stay?” and basically lists all the reasons why they'd sta#and then akus gets all soft and has a nice moment of caring about everyone he works with#(except maybe chuuya I cant rmb any times they've interacted and i cant think of anything fun or like core memory things they'd do together#and then aku is like “what Abt you and your family? how are they?” and then it's atsus turn to be all sappy about their family#and so then they end up having a way better day than expected AND they walked away from it with a new friend and an even better#understanding of each other and stuff#yeah#reminder I don't even ship atsugawa but wow I feel deeply abt them both.#maybe Id like them as like QPR??#I can see that alot better#but man atsulucygawa....#even they'd probably be QPR though imo#anyways pushing my “aku doesn't feel like he can allow himself to share his affection for people because he doesn't want them to leave”#agenda ty for coming to my Ted talk
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lina-lovebug · 3 months
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I'd Fight The Devil
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Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Background: (Y/N) Morningstar with her partner, Alastor, has decided to put some of the Overlords in their place.
Warning: Alastor being Alastor, mentions of pregnancy but no one's pregnant, and Alastor might have a breeding kink
_ _ _
"(Y/N)! What a surpri-!"
"I believe that's Princess (Y/N) Morningstar, Heir to the throne of Hell, and Duchess of Chaos - to you," Alastor loved doing this. He adored how (Y/N) had decided to start using her true power, and to bring respect back to her name.
The family name, to be exact.
Valentino chuckled nervously as (Y/N) scoped out the place, her horns ever presenting and tail flicking with annoyance.
"What a pleasure to be hosting you, Princess. What would be the reason for this visit?" Valentino asked, offering her a drink.
"I'm fine, thank you," She dismissed it, already smelling the poison inside the cocktail.
"I'm here to discuss Angel Dust, and your contract with him."
"If he's too much trouble for the hotel, I'll happily-"
"You're the one causing the trouble," Alastor cut him off.
Valentino sputtered, "me?!"
"You can feign innocence all you wish, Val, but I've heard that you've called my sister a bimbo, along with many other colorful names," (Y/N) slowly stood up, leaning over his desk as the lights started to go out - one by one.
"Charlie is nice. She's always been the kinder of us Morningstars, but apparently this makes you think that you can go and soil our name. My father could have strung every sinner on a hook for eternity, torturing you all second by second as your screams sung into our great halls," no one had been unfortunate enough to see the form of (Y/N) Morningstar, and Val was one of them.
Her height expanded to nine feet tall, her pretty black nails forming into claws and her eyes ablaze with scarlet serpent pupils.
And wings - oh great black wings that could make even Adam rethink his attack.
When he was still alive, of course.
"And you sully his gift by mocking us."
"Look, Vox did it first! Okay?! He said you'd never-!" Val tripped on a tentacle that came from her beloved Alastor, who dropped a TV by his feet.
But not just any TV.
"Oh God," Val gasped, "Vox. . .?"
"I took care of him earlier," Alastor grinned, still reminiscent on his screams.
"I couldn't have my dear (Y/N) sully her hands with his filth. But whatever the Princess wants, she gets."
Oh to see her come into her power was as chilling as death itself.
"You're so romantic, Alastor," (Y/N) smiled.
That's when Valentino spotted it. On the left hand of (Y/N) Morningstar was a ruby wedding ring, the band pure gold.
Alastor finally did it.
He climbed up the latter, but not through power.
Well yes, through power, but he certified that it would always be his.
By marrying Lucifers daughter.
"We're matching, isn't it adorable?" Alastor showed off his own wedding band, ruby's encrusted inside of it.
"Now, where were we?" She grinned, and as an engagement gift, the screams of Vox and Valentino were broadcasted throughout all of Hell.
And they say chivalry is dead.
_ ☆ _
"They're fucking crazy."
"They're made for each other."
On that, Angel Dust and Husker could agree.
The lovely couple had become the center of Hells attention after their engagement was announced, and even though Alastor thought it would be hilarious for Lucifer to find out through the papers, she told him first.
And he cried.
"Oh my baby is all grown up!" Lucifer sobbed loudly, clinging onto her legs, "look at you! You-you used to be this small!" Lucifer grabbed a duck, "and you were so tiny and so cute!"
"Am I invited?" Lucifer squeaked, staring up into her eyes.
"Yes, dad," She smiled, bringing him up to his feet, "but we want to wait a bit before we plan anything."
"You know she used to bite my finger?!" Lucifer grabbed the baby pictures of little (Y/N), "look at how small she was! Oh, and this one is my favorite!"
Alastor truly didn't mind how touchy Lucifer had become with him, but thankfully, Lucifer also knew when to stop.
"Wait, is that why you're getting married?! Did you impregnate my daughter?!" Lucifer gasped, shoving his hand on her stomach.
"Dad! Dad, no! I'm not pregnant!" She quickly cleared up.
"Unfortunately," Alastor muttered to himself. Oh to see her belly swell with his children - his own spawn, it made his cock twitch at the thought.
He was fond of children but his own? Oh he'd spoil his little prince or princess with all the blood sacrifices the world had to offer.
"Yeah but you know what marriage entails, kiddo!" He pointed at them both with finger guns, "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby-oh my GOD I'll be a grandpa!"
He started crying again.
She sighed, "at least we know our hypothetical child will be taken care of."
Alastor nodded, "I could not have picked a better father-in-law."
At this point, Lucifer was ugly crying.
Alastor looked at his beloved with a soft gaze as she tried calming her father down. To be honest, Alastor never thought he would ever find solace in Hell. He anticipated every day being a fight for his life, always looking over his shoulder and always striving for more power. And as cheesy as it sounded, he saw (Y/N) as his shining light. She brought out his sad heart, and for the first time in his life, he wished his mother was with him.
To see just what a wonderful woman he managed to catch.
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luciddownloading · 6 months
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Astrology Observations: Scorpio Edition ☠️
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🦂In doing these observations, I like breaking down the differences between the Sun, Moon and Rising in a sign. With Scorpio, I look at each as the different elements of a crime scene.
(These are analogies/metaphors, btw. Please don't take this literally)
Scorpio Rising is like the detective. They are investigators, obsessive thinkers, and will dig and dig until they find the info they need. It is very hard to hide around them because they will ask questions, get in your head, and figure out your motives. Most people don't know what they're doing and the extent of their manipulation. But, like the detective, this skill can be used for good.
Scorpio Sun is the murder victim. And, hold on, I am not saying they are weak or powerless. It's more so that the metaphorical "deaths" they have to endure end up shaping who they are. And, like a murder victim, they become very well-known for how they "died", whether it was through heartbreak, betrayal, career/financial loss, mental health struggles/breakdowns, etc. But, the good thing is that they learn that any kind of death is only a transformation.
Scorpio Moon is the killer. As nice and charming as this person may appear (and genuinely be), there is a fierce, sometimes even ruthless instinct within. It's just about learning how to destroy what needs to be killed off, in a positive/constructive sense. But, heaven help those who fuck around and find out. Like a killer, they can be both vaguely intimidating but also the last person you'd expect. Their dark or ferocious side can catch people off guard and that intensity is not only unmatched but can rage out of control if not managed.
(All three placements have a little of each archetype in them but each displays these respective energies the most)
🦂 People with Scorpio placements = love of horror movies. Most of the time, anyway. Especially Scorpio Sun, Moon or Rising. This obsession may begin young and even extend to a fascination with true crime. This is my Moon sign and I loved horror and serial killer documentaries so much growing up that I got side-eyed a few times lol. (But, now, of course, that's become trendy)
🦂 Scorpio Venus people are not necessarily the die-hard, super-serious, "I love you so I must breathe your oxygen" relationship types that they're made out to be. Some of them channel a lot of that intensity into the sexual part of relationships while remaining casual or emotionally unavailable otherwise. So, this placement can be as much of a player or serial dater as anyone. That just may not exactly be how they want to act deep down.
🦂 Those with Mercury in Scorpio usually have some skill with divination, whether or not they are tapped into it. They could make excellent astrologers or Tarot readers. Some of them are naturally good at spell work, as well, or could be skilled mediums or channelers.
🦂 There are two types of Scorpio Risings: 1) the ones who give you witchy or sexy vampire vibes (and who may identify with either archetype) 2) the ones who seem like adorable, harmless elfin/fae beings who are much more powerful than they initially appear.
🦂 Scorpio people look great in all black and this isn't limited to the Venus or Rising sign. It is a power move of sorts and a way to honor one's shadow self (which every self-respecting Scorpio person will thrive on). Also, try black boots, ultra-high heels for those who wear them, and anything sheer like mesh or lace.
🦂 Scorpio Moon people are either very naturally seductive/erotic/alluring (even if they don't try or aren't aware of it) or has the sex appeal of a bowl of mashed potatoes, even though they may try very hard to be sexy. Sexiness can vary with Scorpio people and does tend to exist in extremes. But, since the Moon is what comes instinctively, this is truest for them. They either have it or they don't.
🦂 Scorpio Mars people can be very, VERY petty. This is the lower expression of it. The evolved ones will have a past of vindictive behavior or holding ridiculous grudges but learn to rise above that. And I mean ridiculous grudges. Like, "you ate the last slice of pizza that I wanted two years ago and I haven't forgotten it".
🦂 Scorpio Suns and daddy issues go together like peanut butter and jelly. In most cases, either the father figure walks out on them or dies during their upbringing or they just have a super-complicated relationship.
🦂 It's hard to find a sign that is more proud of their sign than Scorpio. Virgo's may outdo them (because so many Virgos LOVE telling you they're a Virgo lol) but they're up there. This extends to the Moons and Risings, as well. They are quite likely to get a tattoo of the Scorpio symbol or a scorpion or phoenix or eagle.
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evilminji · 9 months
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You know what? I just had A Thought(tm)~☆
Danny. Our bby boy. MINDING HIS BUSINESS. Maybe visiting one of his buddies in the Realms after he graduates. When he just?? Get full on tackled from the sky.
And like?
Huh.
THIS hasn't happened in a bit. Not since he's become king. Legit, no one dares. He's honestly kinda missed it. Alright, square up... Mr. Uuuuuh.... Who are you?
And it's this barely formed New Ghost. Still in that glitch-y goopy blob phase and everything. Is Baby. Why... why does this infant Want To Fight God? I mean. He Respects It(tm), no lie, but? Not exactly usual for him?
And it turns out? This dude is some rando hero. He basicly JUST died. By all rights SHOULD be resting and gathering his strength to Form Right. But he's so worried for his team mates and everyone else he CAN'T. Recognized a fellow Hero's Costume even at a distance.
Please. PLEASE! You have to help him! We have to WARN everybody!
And Danny is just? Oh no. This Actual Infant Baby is gonna Anxiety himself to Actual Second Death at this rate. Yes! Sure! Just CALM DOWN! Anything you need buddy! BREATHE.
And this dude? Who died? Is legit a minor player who got WAY too deep but refused to abandoned People In Need(tm). It happens. It HURTS. But he saved a LOT of lives before he went down. Him and his team were just some Minor Heros from Belarus. How they ended up in deep space? Even THEY couldn't tell you.
They couldn't even bring him home.
He forgives them.
He could NEVER blame his friends. Not for this. The planet is in danger. Some... some THING. An invasion. The League has to be made aware. He DIED helping a planet try to evacuate all that they could. He... at least he...
He can't remember if the Eggs got out. They... they're like babies. A whole room full of toddlers who couldn't run. They had to de-connect from the main building to lift it out. He can't... can't...
He saved them... right? Held on.. long enough? Why can't he.. he...
Danny has to make him focus be for the kid spirals. Don't think of your last moments. Purpose. You NEED to do something right now, right?
Right! The League! We gotta warn them! And... okay. Danny can totally do that. (What LEAGUE??!) He DEFINITELY knows who you are talking about and will tell them Right Away. YOU however are gonna rest up.
So he leaves the kiddo with Lunch Lady. Mother and Frightening Matriarch Extraordinaire. Lunch Box promises to SIT on him if he tries to sneak off. Good kid. Now eat your soup before you BECOME soup.
Time to bully the eyeballs. Whoms't the F*ck is this "league"? And where does he find it? Talk. He has sand and he's not afraid to use it. Don't MAKE him get out the pepper grinder! Yeah. That's what he THOUGHT.
After much, prolonged and unnecessary, whining and dramatic threatening... he gets a printed out map. Cheapskates even used flimsy paper. He gets there. Jaunt is even kinda nice. He says hi to a few folks he hasn't seen in a while.
Opens a portal.
Steps out.
Gets punched in the face. RUDE! He punches the flying blue man back. Dents their wall. Not even a LITTLE sorry about that now! See if HE does you a favor aga-... is that his Ex? John?
John! Constantine you B@STARD. YOU OWE ME 20 BUCKS. *Ten different hands slap a twenty on the table at his feet, including Constantine. Who is refusing to look at anybody.* Well, okay then. Debt payed. Gonna buy himself a shake or something, after this.
ANYWAY~ Good News Or Bad News?
He is met with silence. It's like they've never seen an ethereal, giant, glowing man with a suit that looks like a cut out of the night sky, step out of an eye searing rip in reality before. Man they're lives must be boring. But frankly? Danny can wait. It's not HIS reality that's gonna get messed up. He can take care of it if the wanna be Wah Babies. Good News or Bad News??? Pick one.
He sits back in the air and waits.
@stealingyourbones @cyrwrites
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theminecraftbee · 4 months
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okay, okay, superhero au concept of the day: soup group identity shenanigans au. the soup group all rent a house together, they became friends... i don't know when, still figuring this out, but they're all buddies. however, they're all involved in the hero scene in their own way, and everyone's levels of knowing how involved in the hero scene they are is varied.
impulse is a relatively new hero (name pending), after an accident at his desk job somehow left him with electricity-based powers. he's kind of awkward and new at the whole gig, but he is determined to do his best! he is keeping his identity secret to keep what he thinks are his two civilian housemates safe, as well as to keep his other friends safe. he's a bit over his head but he mostly fights low-level villains at the moment anyway. he knows the least information of everybody but he's ALSO the most likely to have a crisis if he learns anything about his housemates.
pearl is a vigilante known as the cleaning lady. she's not so much an active combatant most of the time as someone who takes advantage of existing fights and crime scenes for her own ends, helping to make sure she puts down criminals and collects information from the aftermath. she'll help either side in order to meet her goal of cleaning up the city from the chaos it's currently in, and she dislikes most serious crime, she just... goes about it in a way most heroes do not agree with. she's figured out impulse's identity and avoids him in her night work because she's certain he'd clock her immediately. as for the red deer... she's worked with her once or twice and is kind of terrified, but doesn't know her identity at all.
gem is the soup group's mysteriously rich friend who is the one helping them rent the house together. really it would be suspicious she was renting with the kind of money her job makes and how much she can afford with what she supposedly actually makes if both pearl and impulse weren't so busy hiding their identities. and gem's glad! she's excited to have friends she can play civilian with--that doesn't normally last this long! because gem is the terrifying mercenary and hitman for hire, the red deer. compared to both impulse and pearl (who are normally considered small-time), gem is considered a "if you are not specifically pseudo-hawk, do not engage" level threat. she's particularly known for, if her job is to take down someone interesting, handing them a weapon and letting them have a "fair fight" back. only pseudo-hawk (real name false symmetry) has held her off before. the rest of her targets go home in body bags, and she gets her money. she rarely actually kills someone who ISN'T a target, but she still hurts them enough to keep them out of the way if they try to interfere.
and gem... gem knows EXACTLY who her housemates are. she's keeping an eye on the chatter about them, too. right now, no one who wants their head is offering the kind of money the red deer is worth, of course, so she doesn't have to worry. her status as one of the most dangerous villains in the city remains safe, and she can have her civilian friends, especially since she's pretty sure they don't know who she is! but if any of that falls apart. if they find her identity. if impulse manages to piss off an actually powerful villain, or pearl finally steps on the toes of a gang that can do something about her... well. well. gem... doesn't miss a target. and it would be fun! it would be... something, at least. she's starting to not be sure what she'd do, and that's... dangerous, in her line of work.
but the thing is, it's nice sharing a house, the three of them. surely, the weight of everyone's respective secrets and allegiances won't collapse around them!
...right?
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woso-dreamzzz · 3 months
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Torn
Kewis x Child!Reader
Summary: No one tells you anything
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Something bad happens to Mom when she's away with Chelsea.
She comes back with crutches and a bandage around her leg. It's pretty bad, you gather, but no one tells you what exactly is wrong with her.
"Careful, chook," Mom says as you round the corner chasing after Helen," Don't run so fast. I'm delicate."
You give her an unimpressed look at interrupting you but don't say anything because she's hurt. You have to do that a lot now. Mom is very busy trying to recover, Mommy tells you often, and that you shouldn't interrupt her while she's doing that.
Mommy is trying to clean up around the two of you while muttering to Auntie Sam on the phone. You think that's a little funny sometimes, that you have an Auntie Sam and the Mom's adult name is Sam too.
It's kind of funny but you don't dwell on it for long because Helen pops her head up over the coffee table that Mom's using to stretch her boo-boo leg. Helen gives you a look that says 'keep-playing-with-me' so you hurry to follow her, grabbing the jingly bells on a stick to wave at her.
It's her favourite toy and you shake it for her to paw at.
"Hey," Mommy moves past and takes it off you," Mom's trying to relax. How about we play quietly?"
You huff but don't argue. Helen mews rudely at Mommy as you go to sit in your play corner.
Mommy's packed away all your loud, interesting toys so you're forced to play with the boring princess toys Grandpa got you for Christmas. You make one of your dinosaurs eat her.
Usually, when you play with dinosaurs, Mom comes over to play with you but she and Mommy are cuddling on the sofa and talking in hushed voices.
You know that means they're having an adult conversation about Mom's injury that they don't want you to hear about.
You know the very bare minimum about Mom's knee. You knew she hurt it when she went on holiday with Chelsea and recently came back home from the hospital surgery she had.
She walks around on crutches now and isn't allowed to pick you up or run around with you anymore.
It's very annoying and it makes her sad sometimes. You try to cheer her up but Mommy always directs you to play by yourself because she's scared that you'll hurt Mom.
"What are you doing there, chook?" Mom asks when she watches you take the clothes off of one of your princesses.
"Dinos can't eat clothes, Mom," You reply," Got to be naked to eat."
You brutally smack your Spinosaurus against the princess and make crude eating sounds with your mouth.
Mommy wrinkles her nose in disgust like every time you do something like this. You think Mommy's a bit like a princess sometimes because she likes dressing up all pretty and is less willing to play rough with you like Mom does.
"What happened to playing nice?" Mommy asks," We have to treat everyone with respect."
You roll your eyes. "Toys aren't real people, Mommy. They're just pretend."
Mom laughs. "She's got you there, Kristie."
Kristie is Mommy's grown up name and you think that's kind of cool. Her name is even like a princess name and sometimes Auntie Sam jokes that she's the princess of eyebrows.
Mommy is very proud of her eyebrows but she's not been taking care of them like she usually does because she's very focused on helping Mom with her knee.
At the thought of Mom's injury, you huff and bumshuffle your way with your Spinosaurus and Allosaurus over to Helen sitting in her cat tree.
Sam watches you go. You've been different since she came home injured. Not different enough that she's overly concerned but enough that she's begun to notice it.
"She's doing it again," She whispers to Kristie as they both watch your little shoulders slouch into yourself when you turn around, as if to check that they're both still there.
Your eyes stay focused on where Sam's leg is propped up on the table.
"I think the injury is throwing her off a little," Kristie replies with a sigh," I imagine this is a lot."
"Are we paying enough attention to her? I mean..."
They watch you as you wander back to your play corner and try to drag your big tub of dinosaurs over to Helen's cat tree. You're practically obsessed with dinosaurs ever since you caught a rerun of Dinosaur King on the tv.
It had launched an obsession that Sam likened to her own for football and your absolute favourite thing was handing her and Kristie dinosaurs so they could play with you.
"Heya, Chook," Sam calls out," Do you need some help there?"
"Can't help," You grunt as you helplessly tug at the box," You're hurt."
"Well, I can help," Kristie says, already moving to get up.
You freeze her with a look of contempt. "Can't help either. You have to look after Mom." You move around the box to push it rather than pull and it suddenly gets a lot easier.
It's a stupid thing to be proud of, Sam thinks, but she's proud nonetheless. You're a good little problem solver and you're clearly picking up on hers and Kristie's behaviours without it being fully explained to you.
You sit in front of Helen and put out a dinosaur in front of her. Sam's not sure what kind it is but that's fine because you clearly do, as you choose your own dinosaur from the box and make it fight Helen's.
Kristie moves to sit crosslegged next to you. You spare her a glance but go back to playing.
She reaches into your box.
"Can't touch unless you're playing," You say firmly," And you can't play.
"Why can't I play?"
"Because you have to look after Mom."
"And that means I can't play?"
"No." You make Helen's dinosaur lay on its side and die because that's what happens with dinosaurs. "Because Mom's more important than playing and I'm littler so I can be forgotten."
Your words don't really make sense and yet somehow makes perfect sense to Kristie. She sighs.
"Are you feeling sad? Because I haven't been playing with you since Mom hurt her leg?"
"I'm not sad," You say as you pick out another dinosaur for Helen," I'm littler than Mom and she's bigger and has a boo-boo so she needs to be looked after."
"Mommy can still play with you," Mom says from her spot on the sofa. She hasn't said much since Mommy came over but she has been watching. "If you bring the box over here then I can play too."
You glance over your shoulder with a look that makes it clear you think she's lying. "You can't play, Mom," You say," Because you've hurt your knee and you're delicate. You said so."
"I did, didn't I?" Mom laughs a bit awkwardly. "As long as you don't run around or anything, we can still play. Here." She awkwardly moves to sit on the floor, throwing a sofa cushion down to rest her leg on as she sits by the coffee table.
You're still a little sceptical and you glance at Mommy to check. She's in charge of what you do with Mom because you're littler than her and she's got working knees.
She gives you nod. "If we all stay sitting, we can play at the table."
Kristie tries not to feel the guilt in her chest when you light up like a Christmas tree and shove your box across the floor. You never used to look so happy when she and Sam offered to play with you.
"You can be the Microceratus, Mommy, because it's pretty like you." You hand her the toy. "And you can be my Ornithomimus because it's fast." You hand Sam the toy.
Sam smiles. "Thanks, chook. What are you going to be?"
"I'm going to be Spinosaurus," You say," Because they're my favourite."
You dip into your box to grab your little trees and bushes to dot around the table to make a scene. You go to grab your Spinosaurus before stopping. You glance between Sam and Kristie.
"Can...Can we play later too? Please? If Mom's knee is less hurt?"
Sam smiles at you. "Of course we can play later, chook."
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angelltheninth · 9 months
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Jing Yuan NSFW Alphabet
Pairing: Jing Yuan x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, rough sex, aftercare, cunnilingus, marking, cum eating, toy use, masturbation, boob appreciation, kissing, cuddles, wall sex, blowjob, hallways sex, begging, quickie
A/N: This is so damn long lmao. Written for @hellolavendarsky.
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Jing Yuan lets you have a few minutes to settle down before he pulls his cock out of you. His aftercare usually includes carrying you to the bath to help you wash yourself and wrapping you up in a really thick, soft and fluffy towel afterwards, making you feel safe and comfy. He loves to lay you on his chest, letting you be on top while you talk to him about the things you enjoyed.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
On you his favorite is your stomach, he's a big enjoyer of that, no matter what your body type if. As long as there's enough of you to kiss, maybe nibble and lay his head on to rest he really couldn't care less. One of his favorite body parts are his shoulders. They're always like a place for his badges of honor, and by that he means all the bites and nail marks you leave on him while's fucking you into the surface you're having sex on.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Almost addicted to the taste of your cum. His doesn't really interest him that much unless it's inside your holes. But your cum needs to be on his tongue at least once every time he has sex with you. Drinking it down, lapping it up like he hasn't drank anything all day and making a show of licking it off his lips and swallowing it, humming at your taste right before he goes in for more.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He keeps sex toys in a secret box in his office. They're not always for him to use on you, sometimes he's feeling so pent up and he needs the release to function normally for the rest of the day. Thank god he's never been caught using them or that no one has found his stash cause he's been slowly adding onto it since he met you.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Could find his way around your body with his eyes closed. There aren't many things he hasn't tried yet in his many years. He's hot, famous, a good person, very well respected so he's had many partners in his time. Not one to compare the experience levels unless it's necessary to do so, like if you're hesitant to try something and he's tried it before, he'll tell you all about it, how to be safe during it.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Anything that can give him a nice view of your tits or ass jiggling is great. If he's within boob grabbing or sucking reach that's even better. Reverse cowgirl is really good when he wants to feel and see your ass smacking against his abs but in this position he can't see your face so he would rather have you on your side, one leg over his shoulder and fucking his cock in you that way. He can see your face, touch your boobs and your ass all in one.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Keeps things pretty lighthearted even when he's playing up the more dominant aspect of his personality. Is serious only if he needs to reassure you of something or explain something to you. Otherwise he would much rather keep things cheerful and teasing for the both of you.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Jing Yuan is extremely well groomed and keeps all his body hair neatly trimmed at all times. His hair is of course one of his selling points so he would be stupid not to maintain it. Actually has more hair-care products then you do and thought it was hilarious when you asked if you could borrow his shampoo. Sure you can, he likes smelling his scent on you.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Intimacy is a big deal to him. Even when you were only having sex in his office and weren't official yet he always put a lot of emphasis on intimacy. Touching your face, kissing your fingers, keeping your bodies close so you can feel each other's orgasm everywhere, inside and out, kissing you until your lungs hurt, it was always, always a big part of sex for him.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Masturbates in the morning and in the noon when he's at work. Doing it at work always brought a bit of a risk with it but when he's got to do it he's just got to do it. He's been caught by you before, with his pants fully down and your picture in his hand. Who else would he think about while handling his cock? Always tries to be quick about it, but is slow when it comes to making love.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Very much into ropes and leashes, specifically on you. He would love to treat you as his little pet, his bitch that's always, always in heat and ready to suck his cock the moment he feels him tug on your leash. It's also good for control, when you're riding him, no matter of you're facing him or not he can pull you back, control your pace. He can also tie you up, completely or partially, or if you want you can tie him up and only have him able to thrust into you and endure your mouth edging him until he can break free.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
The hallway. Any kind of a hallway will do. When he fucks you in the hallway it's a dead give away that you're both so god damn horny for each other that you can't possibly wait to be in a proper enclosed space. Hell lift you up, pin you to the wall, hold you by your thighs and watch as his cock plummets in and out of your pussy, your panties held to the side by you.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Usually when you're being shy about it. He needs to coax it out of you, he needs to make you say you want him or else he's not doing it. It's such a fun game of cat and mouse, you have no idea how much he likes it. When you can't say it and he denies you, when he's almost out the door and you yell at him to wait and throw your arms around him, your voice barely above a whisper as you beg, pretty please can he fuck you, can he make you come.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Really rough play. Slapping you and manhandling you from time to time is okay but he is very away of how strong he is. He would never want to risk making you bleed or seeing you in tears from the pain he's caused. Painplay is a huge no for him.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Ideally he would like both at the same time. He likes giving a little more because that way he can hear your moans a little more clearly but having you struggling to talk while choking on his cock is a good sound too. Oral sex is almost always part of your love making session, weather before or after penetration for clean up.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Really depends on the amount of time you have. He likes taking it slow but whenever he does he prolongs the foreplay a little too long and ends up overstimulating your poor pussy before his cock even gets in. And he can lose control very easily when it comes to his speed, when you give him the green light he will fuck you so hard you're scared he's gonna break you. Never, but he can get you close, as long as you're enjoying it.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
At least a few times a week, most often when you visit him in his office. There have been many meetings delayed by him because visited unexpectedly and instead of going over papers he ended up balls deep inside of you while you're bent over his desk. Good thing that he's the boss so no one can fire him for it.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He wouldn't be nearly as experianced if he didn't take risks in his sex life. If there's something, anything that you would like to try with him please tell him. He'll try anything once, as long as he can ensure your safety during it. If it's something really risky then he'll make sure to talk to someone who's already tried it to make it the safest it can be.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
What you would call a stamina monster. The recovery period is also a bit shorter then most men, which he doesn't attribute to his stamina but rather having sex with such a hot woman with a great pussy. How could his cock stay soft when there are so many more orgasms to give you and more holes of yours to fill? But he can also use his fingers and mouth too, until he's hard again. Keep moaning, it helps a lot.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Owns a lot of toys and his collection only grows. For his pleasure he always keeps a cocksleeve in his office, which can vibrate and suck. Vibrators can be for you both, and bullet vibrators too. He really likes keeping a tiny one against your clit while you suck him off so you have constant stimulation.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
It's one of his favorite types of foreplay. Teasing has also been a big part of him winning you over and making you fall in love with him. There's never a bad time to lean in and bite on your ear or give you a little slap on the ass. He's not nearly as easy to tease back, almost impossible, the only time you can do so is if he's drunk.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Depends on if you're at home or somewhere more public. He's pretty vocal either way but the volume will vary. You swear he was raised by lions because he's always growling and humming and grunting and sighing against you. It's hot when you're alone and he floods your pussy with hot cum, screaming, roaring his release into the heavens but when you could get caught you have to be kissing him almost all the time to stop all of his noises.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Insanely turned on when you call him 'sir' or 'boss'. Thankfully this only happens when you call him these things and not the people that actually work for him cause that would be really awkward. If you say these things as a joke he'll get really pouty because his brain associates them with sex, and therefore he will get an erection. Which is why you use these words when you have sex or when you want to have sex with him.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
No surprise that he's is in very, very good shape. Muscles all over his body, a six pact that you can grind and come all over, legs for days and a cock to match. His cock is both long and girthy, which took a lot out of you the first time you had sex. He's pretty veiny as well but that ads a little bit to the texture and the pressure, not to mention you can always feel him pulsing nicely in your hand or mouth.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Jing Yuan has a pretty high sex drive, which is hard to match with most of his previous partners. You had some trouble too, at first but he's never put any pressure on you to match him. He can control himself just fine and if he's really pent up there's always his hand and the toy collection he has.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He never falls asleep right after sex, nor do you because he always has a bath ready for the two of you to properly relax in. Only after that is he ready to sleep and even then it takes him a while. He really likes to watch your eyes close, your body press against his and your breathing slow down. When he's sure you're in a deep sleep he can finally let himself sleep too.
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loveyourlovelysoul · 4 months
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Choose a number 1-30 and read a sentence for you in time of needs. You can ofc read them all.
1- You're braver than you think. You can get through this too. Just take a breath and then start again. Do not give up.
2- You're not alone even if at times it feels so. Don't worry about being a burden or annoying others: ask for help, talk about your needs and feelings. You don't have to deal with all that by yourself. Keep asking even after being rejected. Someone will answer you.
3- Look inside and see your real worth. No one else can compare to you. You're you, and you're enough and deserving already as you are. Don't let others' harsh judgement make you think otherwise.
4- Life is made of light and dark and so are you. Find your balance again among the two and keep going. It'll be fine, no feeling is going to last forever.
5- Things look scarier and rockier cause they're changing (you're changing too). It's okay to feel uncomfortable and a bit loss or overwhelmed: give yourself time until you find a new balance in your new reality. It won't be bad, I promise.
6- Go slow, take your time. Nothing and nobody is rushing behind you. It's okay to take breaks, it's okay if you're taking a bit more time than you thought in doing something. Focus on the journey not on how much time you're using or thinking you're wasting. You're not wasting time when you use it for yourself. But worrying will make you lose a part of it and hurt you even more.
7- Try to believe that things can change. Be open to them, even if you cannot control this process and see how it is gonna be, chances are it will be great. Trust yourself too (not your fears though, separate from them).
8- You're on the road of success, whether you see it or not. Keep learning, keep welcoming (your feelings in particular): the more grounded and stable you will be able to be, the more opportunities you'll be able to see and make yours.
9- Always be kind and compassionate with yourself: the mistakes you made today won't ever be the mistakes of tomorrow. Making mistakes is a way of learning, not a confirmation of you not being enough. Nobody ever has made no mistakes while trying or becoming better at something. Be patient and give yourself another chance (and even more).
10- Remember the last decision in your life is always up to you: you're the protagonist of your life, don't let it pass you by. Even if at the moment you cannot see a way out, it will come to you. Keep staying hopeful. Keep focusing on what you can actually control, be it even just your feelings.
11- You're not responsible for anyone's feelings or emotions. Remember you cannot control how they react to you or anything really, and you don't have to necessarily make everything better for others. Respect yourself too.
12- Be confident in your abilities and knowledge. Do not second guess yourself cause you were somehow taught you're not good enough: you are. And you can be wrong here and there too and it won't change your worth ever. Trust yourself whether you're right or wrong and soon you'll be just right.
13- Remember that as you give, you also need to receive from others as much. Stay open to that. You don't have to just empty yourself in order to get crumbles or the bear minimum: that's not what healthy relationships are about.
14- Set your boundaries and stand up for yourself. You're not being selfish for this, as you're not imposing on or taking advantages of others. You're just putting yourself on the same page as them, you need as much respect and love as them.
15- Take care of you: stay hydrated, make your bed, take a shower, go for a walk, enjoy a nice book or video or movie, sing, dance, paint... prepare yourself a nice cup of tea and treat yourself with a little gift here and there. You deserve all this, especially when things get rocky and too much to bear with. Celebrate your little successes too.
16- Surround yourself with the right people for you. If you cannot get away from some negative people, try at least to build boundaries and find other people with whom you can share nice moments of peace and growth, and that can get your feelings too. It's important to communicate with people that can understand us.
17- If you feel alone, try to go out and go visit place where you may find like-minded people. Join a volunteering association, go to a movie teather, a park or a library, or start a course of something you're passionate about. Sometimes we need to be the one creating opportunities to ourselves instead of waiting for others to approach us first.
18- It's okay to feel lost while trying to figure out what to do or where to go. Take a breath when this happens and focus on just doing things you like. The more you'll get to know yourself and work on something you enjoy, the faster you'll get to understand more about the next steps to take. Ask to someone trusted for their advice as well: many times people around us can see us better than what we do. Just remember that not everyone can really do that anyway so trust yourself first.
19- You don't have to work on your fears anytime you get triggered or feel overwhelmed. Take a break, focus on something else and come back to it another day. Taking breaks is part of the healing process as much as working with your shadows and triggers, so take time to enjoy your present life away from that too.
20- Help yourself liberating from the excess of energy, caused by anxiety and overthinking, that you may have stored in your body. Move your body: walk, dance, do yoga or any little light exercise (as much as you body allows). Go back to yourself, get in touch with your body and release what is not serving you anymore.
21- Journaling can help you wording and throwing out your confused thoughts, in order to clear them from the inside. You don't have to write them reasonably, this will come later: just focus on freeing yourself first and foremost. At times we just need to pour emotions/events out to process them.
22- Trauma may have caused you to detach from yourself, so take time know yourself again. Know your values and what you can compromise on and why. List things you like and dislike, what you think are your strengths and what may be your flaws (be objective here, don't let others or your wounds decide for you) and so on... you make the rules. Making lists of pros and cons for something may also be useful.
23- As we never stop learning, we never stop making mistakes and growing. Share everything you got around you, keep welcoming and understanding yourself and the world around you. Keep spreading your talents: yes you do have talents, and no they're not negative ones. Allow yourself to try anything you want: who cares if others do it too? They are not doing it better than you, they're doing it differently. See yourself where you can get just by trying with no pressure.
24- You can also try something new and different from what you're used: getting out of your comfort zone can be very inspiring both for your creativity, your mind and your life in general (and in knowing yourself). Share your finds, share your passions. Don't be shy.
25- Having being judged so harshly during your life has probably made you more insecure and willing to close off from the world: please try and allow yourself to see that even if it hurt you so much, it wasn't on you. You weren't the real object of those judgement. It is always all in the head of the person judging, it's never on the object. Be nicer with you, you're worth much more than that.
26- What is really stopping you from trying what you have in mind? Fear of making or not making? Either way, take your fear by the hand and take it to see how is it gonna be for real. Our minds want to keep us safe and try to make things look worse than they actually are just cause they want to keep us in a known zone. But what if that's not where we're supposed to stay? Or where we want to stay?
27- Don't fear: you won't be let down forever nor you won't be alone forever. Your people are coming, try to get ready to meet them and let them in. You're not made for everyone and, if your past has been tough, you may fear not being good enough for the relationship (any type) of your dreams, but you are. And you'll have the chance to build it the moment you'll be ready for it.
28- You may not trust others much out of past hurt, but the fact is that it's never your fault what others do with your trust. You don't have to feel guilty or any less cause you trusted the wrong people. It wasn't your fault.
29- Take your time when you need to bring yourself closure about an event or a relationship. Go slow and try to welcome and nurture each of your emotions and feelings, of whatever type they may be. Ask for support, talk about how you really feel, write, and slowly go back to your passion. Act according on what you feel like doing. Do not make sudden decisions and also, take time to grieve and cry. Grieving is complex, you'll experience ups and downs: it's okay, give yourself time and space to deal with all that at your own pace and conditions.
30- Healing is not about not being triggered anymore and feeling like nothing can scare you: healing is about learning how to recognize your triggers before they hurt you and taking action so that these emotions won't overcome you as they did. It's about learning to not let your fears decide your actions, but taking actions even if not knowing the results feels really uncomfortable and scary. It's about learning to be in discomfort and not letting this ruin your whole life.
---
I hope these short texts can help you in your journey. I hope you take care of your whole being even if you don't really love yourself. I hope you can see yourself as someone you may end up liking after chatting a bit or as someone in need and that you may want to support. Start with that. And be open to see your good sides too, cause you have plenty even on your darkest days (they never disappear).
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danny-chase · 1 year
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I feel like people understand that Dick changed while Jason was gone, but where it goes wrong half the time is people assume that Dick "growing up" meant that Dick was irresponsible around the time he and Jason interacted/was mean and unable to conceal his jealousy well, which he then evolved from due to Jason's death and was able to build a loving big brother relationship with Tim and Damian and fix his relationship with Bruce.
Meanwhile canon is like:
>Be me, Dick Grayson, esteemed and respected leader of the Teen Titans
> Your younger brother dies
> Fire the youngest member of the Titans because it happened because you had a crisis of responsibility about child vigilantism
> Get punched by your not-official dad
> Help mentor new younger brother because you can't stop him and Bruce from the path they're on, and like hell is another kid going to die
> Kid dies. Not that one. The ex-member of the Titans died disobeying your orders and saving the world in a heroic sacrifice you didn't want him to make, this is exactly what you tried to avoid
> So did two of your friends and one of their moms
> Failed marriage, and a whole lot of relationship stuff you don't want to talk about
> Dad didn't ask you to surpass him in the roll he trained you for since you were 8, gives it to a guy who goes of the rails and starts trying to kill ppl
> Dad asks you to take the roll because he literally has 0 other options and wants to take a vacation
> Bond with younger brother II more, will kill everyone in this room and yourself if anything happens to him
> Move to a new awful city that's often compared to hell
> Having nothing to lose makes it kind of nice here
> Younger brother II gets killed by the same guy who killed younger brother I
> Kill the guy
> Younger brother II wasn't actually dead
> Dad used CPR, so neither is the guy who killed them
> Angst over not being a good enough person not to kill your brother's murderer
> Things start to become okay again
> Best friend dies
> Get shot in the shoulder and fired from your job
> Childhood home gets burned down, 20+ people die
> Apartment building blows up, 22 of your friends and acquaintances die
> Find out it's because someone was specifically targeting you
> Person dies for talking to you
> Choose to step aside and let the guy targetting you die
> Run home because dad needs help
> Get shot in the leg, while passed out another kid hero dies
> Quit being a hero
> Join the mob
> Things start to get better
> Help dad out with some case about this guy named the Red Hood
> City gets nuked because you live there
> Get radiation burns and pass out while saving people, content that you died doing something good
> Dad saved you
> You're still alive :/
> Propose to your ex-girlfriend (not the one from the last marriage)
> Crisis event happens, take a laser beam meant for your father
> Coma for 3 weeks
> She says no (for good reasons)
> You're still alive :/
~and around here is where Dick finds out Jason's alive~
Anyways Dick was not more well adjusted by the time Jason came back from the dead, his life was a constant series of L's, and he got worse 😎
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mj0702 · 3 months
Text
The other Bronze – Pt.7.1
Okay guys... since I'm having just too much fun writing the Beach day, here are about 7k of Beach and we're not done that's why I decided to split Pt.7 into two chapters😉
I hope you have fun with this part - the next one will be coming in a couple of days ❤️❤️
Lucy parked her beloved holy Cupra in a parking deck near the Beach to one have the car away from the sun so it won't heat up so much and two give you some more time to “prepare”. As she killed the engine she turns over to look at you
“Firstly... I'm proud of you for not destroying my Car by pushing any buttons” she grinned and you rolled your eyes playfully “and secondly... it's about a five minute walk to the Beach... it COULD happen that I get recognized by fans... if so, please don't start trouble – most of them are REALLY nice and also really respectful... but you know yourself from previous encounters there are some that are rude...” she said insistently.
“Lucy... it's not the first time I'm out and about with you...” you rolled your eyes annoyed
“You once kicked a man in the knee” your sister raised her eyebrow at you
“He was inappropriate, extremely rude, loud, demanding AND intoxicated...” you defended yourself remembering this encounter
“You were 10” your sister reminded you
“Mills and Jill bought me the biggest ice cream as a reward” you grinned happily at this particular memory
“They always rewarded you for shitty behaviour... he could have hit you... he was fairly drunk” Lucy said rolling her eyes again “but we're not talking about the past... we're talking now... please don't start trouble IF we encounter fans...”
“As long as they're cool, I'm cool” you shrugged your shoulders. Just because Lucy was the older one it didn't mean you couldn't be just as protective of her as she is of you
“I'm able too handle it, okay...” she said insistently again “... I'm not even sure if we run in to them anyway”
“Yeah okay... I TRY to behave” you huffed and opened the door “I take ice cream as payment”
“You can shove that ice cream up your...” your sister started as you smirked at her
“Kinky”
“Stop it” Lucy groaned as she took your bags and locked her car “Stanway turned you into a monster... definitely going to “talk” to her about that”
“If you hurt her I'll leak baby videos of you” you threaten her light hearted
“I know you would” your sister grinned as she laid her arm around your shoulder pulling you into her side and press a soft kiss to your temple “I really missed you Bubs”
“You're too young – never thought I'm going to say THAT but here we are – for Menopause.. what's with the hormonal stuff” you looked at her pulling a face never being one for affection in public
“Just enjoy it, Devils Spawn” Lucy mocked “and remember you can ALWAYS come to me for anything... advice, talking, venting, even if you just need a shoulder to cry on... I'm here Bubs”
“I know” you whispered softly
“Okay... than lets go... as soon as we're close to the Beach you need to stumble a lot... you did that... and you had this loopy grin... uh... and you only called Keira by her name... everyone else had nicknames... Alexia was “pretty spaniard”, Atiana was “flawless spaniard” and Mapí was “colorbook spaniard”...” your sister listed off
“I left out Ona?” you looked confused
“Oh no... she was just “spaniard”... you have another hour to find a new name for her.. and you basically got everyone to scramble around for you... just... hold back with Tana... she is shy anyway and you calling her flawless probably made her a little uncomfortable” Lucy shrugged her shoulders before asking you to told back on the flirty comments towards her teammate
“No flawless spaniard... got it” you nodded seriously – today was for funnies’ anyway
“Good... they won't take you serious if you do it right anyway, so... flirt away if you can justify yourself to your girlfriend if there are clips leaked” your sister grinned evilly
“You are honestly one big bitch” you said bewildered at her implication while she just started laughing pulling you along
Of course Lucy got recognized by some fans on your way to the Beach and she patiently signed and took pictures with all of them while you waited near by. You noticed a small girl – maybe four or five – who looked longingly at your sister. You slowly shuffled towards the girl not to startle her you crouched down next to her
“Hi” you said smiling friendly as the girl just looked at you afraid “What's your name, wee one?”
The girl just keeps staring at you but at least she didn't run or scream so you took that as a win – that's until you remember that you are in Spain where small girls probably don't speak english. You didn't speak spanish.
“Y/N” you tried it the old fashion way pointing at yourself before pointing at her looking at her expectantly smiling
“Bella” she said in a tiny whisper and you smiled wider as she answered you
“Hola Bella” you know opted to sit down next to her on the sidewalk as your sister was still occupied with signing stuff. You decided to “talk” to the girl pulling out your phone for a translation app since your spanish was more than broken – or more non existent.
“Cómo estás” the robotic voice of the App suddenly spoke and you smiled at the girl
“Buena gracias” she answered shyly which you actually understood
“¿Qué estás haciendo aquí solo?” the unpersonal voice said again after you quickly tipped in your question
“Esperanto a Lucia” Bella answered and you tried your best to type in what she said and finally concluded that she said she was waiting for Lucia
“¿Es Lucía tu... hermana? ¿mamá? Tía?” you really became a fan of that App after asking the young girl if Lucia was a relative and she seems to understand what you mean.
“No... Lucía Bronze... ella estás justo ahí” the little girl shook her head and pointed towards your sister.
“oh... OH... Lucy” you said understanding suddenly before typing quickly in your app again “¿quieres conocerla?”
Bellas eyes grow big for a minute before she started to fidget with her fingers looking down ashamed “no tengo un bolígrafo” she said quietly
“Okay... now I need your help, kiddo” you mumbled before holding out your phone to the little girl signalling her to write down what she just said. After a minute she seems to understand and started typing. You waited patiently until she handed your phone back looking at the screen looking up at her surprised
“What you need a pen for?” you said more to yourself than her typing out the question already
You communicated like this for a while and you learned that Bella was actually Isabella she was 5 years and 3 month old, she lived with a lot of children and Signora Viola in a big house, they currently are on an adventure – you looked around and saw a playground near by so you put together that the girl bolted once she saw Lucy and she was a BIG Fan of the Barcelona Femeni. You asked her again if she wanted to go over where you could see your sister wrapping things up and again the little girl got all shy. You told her that there was nothing to be shy about and that “Lucia” was just a normal person like her and you. Isabella shook her head furiously looking at you shocked comparing Lucy to “normal” people. You laughed wholeheartly before holding out your hand offering it to the small girl. After a second she took your hand and you slowly walked over to where a few fans were still standing around your sister waiting patiently.
“Oi Bronze” you yelled from a few feet away grinning widely as all heads turned to you your sister not even bothering to look up where she was signing a picture of – herself
“I said.. OI BRONZE!” you yelled louder as you came closer the little girl half hiding behind your legs
“I don't react to rude fans” your sister said calmly ignoring your presence before smiling for another picture “I thought we talked about it”
“Good thing then that I'm firstly NOT a fan and secondly I have found the most precious fan you'll ever meet” you grinned at your sister carefully pushing the small girl in front of you
“Where is her mother? Please don't tell me you kidnapped a kid” Lucy looked at you pleadingly
“Just... sign something for her it'll make her day... she doesn't have a sharpie tho...” you said and your voice told you're sister that you'll talk later. She trusted you so far that you didn't kidnap a little girl and crouched down to smile friendly at her.
“Hola soy Lucy y tu quien eres?”
“Isabella” the little girl answered shyly and pressed herself against you
“Hola Isabella, ese es un hermoso nombre.” Lucy smiled at the little girl
“Muchas gracias” Isabella mumbled “Mi mamá me lo dios antes de convertirse en ángel”
“Fuck” Lucy mumbled as it dawned on her and she looked at you “She doesn't have a mom?”
“From what I got through the app she's an orphan... and she's a big fan... so.. make her day” you gritted the last part through your teeth smiling down at the girl reassuringly
“Tu mamá eligió el nombre correcto: un hermoso nombre para una hermosa niña” your sister smiled warmly at Isabella “Qué puedo hacer por ti, Conejita?”
“no tengo papel ni lapiz” the girl sounded sad suddenly which made you perk up
“I told you to make her day not to make her sad” you looked at Lucy confused
“She said she doesn't have pen and paper so I think she would like to have an autograph but has nothing where I could write it on” your sister explained looking at you annoyed but her voice didn't show it because she didn't want to give a false impression to the kid
“Can you occupy her for hot minute?” you looked at your sister and she immediately knew you had an idea
“Sure... in comparison to you I speak spanish” she smirking at you
“In comparison to you I look good” you said before pushing Isabella towards your sister smiling at her encouraging
When you were sure the girl was happy enough talking now more freely with Lucy you searched your sisters back for her wallet before grinning brightly as you found it, took some money (a lot to be honest – but hey... she gets a good salary) and went back the way you came from the parking deck. Unknowns to your sister you immediately spotted a Jersey Shop when you exited the parking space and that's where you went. You quickly found the shop again, looking at kid jerseys as a blonde salesgirl walked over to you smiling
“Stalker much?” she asked and you immediately noticed the voice turning quickly on your heels
“Caro?” you asked confused but broke into a smile quickly as you recognized your new friend
“I see you're still alive so your sister didn't kill you?” she smiled
“She was THIS close.. but no.. she didn't kill me – but she overdosed my pain meds and let me made a fool out of myself in front of the whole team” you rolled your eyes
This made the german girl burst out laughing knowing immediately which team you were talking about
“You didn't call me.. or texted...” you said faking sounding hurt
“Yeah... funny story... I paid the Uber with your 20 – forgetting what was on the back of that bill” she said embarrassed
“Are you serious?” you looked at her stunned
“Yeah... sorry” she grinned apologetic
This time it was you bursting out laughing “That is such a Me move”
“You know I'd love to chat more but my store manager is already looking over... so... what can I help you with?” Caro put on a fake smile feeling the eyes of her boss on her
“I need a Jersey... for a five year old... Bronze on the back... and a sharpie if you sell those too” you said quickly as you didn't want to get her into trouble
“Anything you want to tell me?” the blonde grinned at you as she skilfully grabbed a plain Jersey
“Just met a girl... from what I got she's an orphan... she's a fan” you said as she pushed the small jersey into your hand and led you over to the printing station
“With the number?” Caro asked not wanting to push the subject
“Yeah... go all out... my sister is paying” you grinned thankful for the topic change as you held up a bundle of bills
About you 15 minutes later you left the store grinning a small bag in your hand and your sister about 150€ lighter (110 for the jersey and 40€ tip for the staff) but in your bag was a brand new kids Jersey with your sisters name on the back of it. You were still smiling as you rounded the last corner spotting your sister immediately sitting in the shade next to Isabella with an ice cream in her hand. You stopped for a second to take in the scene before quickly taking out your phone snapping a picture before yelling over to them
“OI BRONZE... can I have an autograph?” you grinned as her head snapped up at your voice
“Everything for my biggest fan” she smirked back at you as you walked over to them snatching Lucys ice out of her hand before tossing the bag in her lap
“Sign that and make that girls day” you said as you licked the ice cream “For good heavens... what's that?” you pulled a face making Isabella giggle
“Liquorice and Lavender” your sister answers distracted as she looked into the bag “You bought a Jersey?”
“What is wrong with you??? Are your taste buds this fucked? You have disgusting taste... and yes... I... you... you bought a jersey... a kids one... UWCL version... did you know the jerseys here are freakingish expensive?” you gagged trying to get the taste of the ice cream out of your mouth as Lucy told you you just had a lick of Liquorice ice cream
“I bought a jersey?” Lucy asked you confused as she pulled said item out of the bag
“Yep.. took your money... it's your jersey, so your money” you shrugged your shoulders taking a glance at the small girl who sat beside you silently watching your interaction but became big eyes when she saw the jersey.
“We'll talk about that later” Lucy shot you a glare before signing the Jersey and holding it out to Isabella telling her something in spanish. The small girl first smiled so widely she could have lit up a whole dark alley in seconds. Then she seems to remember something as she retreated a little bit getting a sad look on her face mumbling some spanish words. Lucy frowned at that and for you it looks like she tried to reassure the girl to take the jersey. Suddenly you noticed a woman coming running out of the playground area looking franticly around.
“Luce... I think that's this Viola woman” you nodded towards the woman with your head “I think precious Bella here bolted without telling someone”
It was in the same second as the woman spotted the little girl coming running over quickly rattling spanish words a million miles an hour – which caused you to just look at her bewildered and Lucy at least tried to keep up. Isabella looked down her hands behind her back. You gathered it was a spanish scolding which sounded even worse than all the scolding you received (are still receiving) from your sister.
“What is she saying?” you mumbled leaning slightly towards Lucy not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of that womans rant
“I have no clue” your sister whispered back
“Didn't you tell me you speak spanish?” you teased Lucy under your breath
“If she would speak spanish I would probably understand enough to string together what she's saying... but that's catalan” Lucy answered and you nodded understandingly
The womans head snapped in your direction making you shuffle carefully behind Lucy as the womans look could kill a dead guy. She took a few deep breaths before starting to talk to your sister who looked lost.
“Tell her you speak bad spanish – but not catalan” you nudged her from behind making her pushing back against you roughly but followed your idea talking to the woman in spanish. She seems to understand what Lucy tried to tell her immediately slowing down on the words pronouncing them more clear. The two talked for about five minutes (which you stayed for safety reasons behind your sister – you would easily volunteer her as a tribute if you had to) before Lucy gave the woman the little jersey and it looked like she made her something promise as you made out the words “Isabella” and “Camp Nuo”. Both – the Viola woman as you named her and little Isabella – said their goodbyes before going back towards the playground.
“Soooo... what was that about” you asked after you made sure the woman was gone
“Isabella really bolted – apparently she does this quiet often... and you were right... she's an orphan, lost both her parents about a year ago due to a car accident” Lucy said sadly “This was the housemother... she told me that Isabella is a good kid – very smart... introvert... reads a lot.. and sadly gets picked on a bunch because she's not as outgoing...”
“Luce... you told me once not as long as you play professional” you said your voice low and your sister knew immediately what you meant
“It's just not fair... I was painfully shy when I was younger and she deserves someone to stand up for her and tell her it's okay” your sister replied and you noticed it really bothered her
“I know Lucy... but.... you know yourself” you tried to bring your point across
“Yeah I know...” your sister huffed defeated
“I mean... mom would lose her shit if you come home for Christmas with a little girl calling her “Grandma”... I actually dig it...” you grinned trying lift your sisters mood
“She would definitely go hard on the egg-nog” Lucy mused but you saw a small smile tugging on her lips
“So... when are you going to see Isabella again?” you ask knowingly
“I've invited them to the next game... Viola said she needs to speak to some other people about it and yeah... I hope they can make it happen” your sister shrugged her shoulders
“Will you tell Ona... sorry... will you tell the spaniard about this incident? I really need to get into the headspace of being high” you asked mumbling the last part to yourself
“Maybe... when we have a quiet, uninterrupted moment” Lucy looked at you pointingly
“I slept till nearly lunchtime...” you defended yourself
“And I didn't met Isabella until 30 minutes ago you space cadet” your sister looks at you stunned by your not-logic
“Oh yeah... didn't think of that... uh... ice cream” you started before you got distracted by a small ice cream shop
“You really rock this pretending to be high scenario” Lucy looked at you proudly
“Thank you” you grinned “now... ice cream and then beach?”
“Course” your sister laughed as she pulled a five Euro bill out of her wallet “you really took my money???”
“It's not like I'm working” you shrugged your shoulders turning to the ice cream guy pointing to the two flavours you wanted – Espresso dark chocolate and Speculoos. Your sister paid for your ice cream grumbling under her breath but smiled as she saw how happy you looked with your ice cream cone.
“Bubs... beach rules apply for Barcelona beaches as well, do you hear me” Lucy looked at you intensely
“Awww man come on....” you whined licking away on your ice cream
“No... you don't go into the water without telling either Alexia, Keira, Ona or me... I would say Ingrid too but you haven't met her officially” your sister said stern
“It's the black haired Norwegian... girlfriend of the colorbook spaniard” you grinned being proud of yourself
“How many words did you spoke with Ingrid?” your sister raised her eyebrow as she led you towards Mar Bella Beach
“Ehrm... none?” you wrecked your brain for a second
“Exactly” Lucy grinned “By the way....” she pulled out her phone “... your hour starts... now”
Immediately your whole body language changed sinking against Lucy for support gripping your cone a little tighter starting to stumble along
“Why now?” you whispered
“Because in about 2 meters we're in eyesight...” Lucy whispered back holding onto your side tightly as you rounded the last corner
Just as your sister said you spotted the Barca femeni team immediately. Some of them were playing beach volleyball while others opted for relaxing in the hot sun and you instantly made out Keira. Which wasn’t hard – the only white white person in between a bunch of lovely tanned girls and she sat under an umbrella to not sit directly in the sun. So typical english.
“Keira is so english it's embarrassing” you mumbled making your sister burst out laughing “What... even YOU have a tan”
“Without tan-lines” Lucy smirked evilly
You really wanted to gag and whine but it would have blown your cover before your prank even began
“I hate you” you growled under your breath before getting interrupted by a VERY upset spanish voice
“Really Lucia... again??” Alexia exclaimed shocked and angry
“NOT my fault this time... she overdosed herself” Lucy held both her hands up in surrender letting go of you which made you “stumble” in the sand
“holasita pretty spaniard” you grinned trying to look as loopy as possible
“Ay dios mio...” Alexia mumbled as she pinched the bridge of her nose
“You look so pretty” you “slurred” and your sister gave you a secret thumbs up
“You told me before, Cariño” the Captain huffed “But thank you”
Right this moment you heard a “cuidadosa!!” and the volleyball hit you on the side of your head making you drop your ice cream cone
“María Leon!!!” Alexia yelled turning around in anger “I TOLD you not in this direction!”
“My ice cream” you whined looking down where your ice cream hit the sand
“I'll get you new ice Bubs” Lucy jumped in deciding to play along a little bit
“Oh no you won't” the blonde (pretty) spaniard interrupted your sister “María will buy ice cream... for EVERYONE”
“Que???!!!” Mapí exclaimed while you squealed happily
“I want that one” you pointed at your melting ice cream in the sand – you really liked playing the drugged one it seems to get you free stuff.
“Bubs... you need to choose something new... the place here doesn't have Speculoos... but the strawberry is really good” Lucy found fun in your little play too “supporting” you – even if it means she would lose 50€
“But I want Spec... Specs... Loos... Specloosers” you pouted mispronouncing the word on purpose
“I know... but look... you can have strawberry now and Speculoos later okay?” Lucy tried to “negotiate”
“What have you done to her?” suddenly a very arrogated Ona stood next to the two of you with Alexia still “discussing” with Mapí about how stupid actions have stupid consequences
“I did nothing... you told her where her painkillers were” Lucy defended herself again and this time you helped her out
“Thank you friendly spaniard – you're a good friend” you smiled all teeth at Ona
“You two can't be left alone for a few hours without causing trouble??” the small woman said bewildered and you heard Keira snickering behind you “Welcome to their World, Ona.. you will have A LOT of situations like these”
“Kei” you happily exclaimed turning quickly
“Hey Bitsy... come here a second, will you... your sister has to talk to the friendly spaniard for a moment in peace” your fellow englishwoman smiled inviting and you took her up on it and stumbled over to her.
“Hey Kei” you smiled “loopy” as you plopped down beside her on a towel
“For how long do I have to pretend to not notice that you definitely not high?” she asked you smirking after she studied you for a second
“What... How... Why??” you stared at her shocked
“Bitsy please... cut me some slack... I told you before... I was always able to tell.. what did Lucy promised you if you could pull this off?” Keira grinned speaking in a low voice not wanting to out you since you seemed to have fun
“50 bucks if I could pull it off for an hour without you noticing” you huffed sadly
“It took me one look if it makes you feel better” the english grinned “but I'll play along because it's actually fun seeing what you can come up with”
“Thanks Kei...” you smiled slightly before looking up “which of them did I call flawless?”
This time it was Keira bursting out laughing as she pointed at Aitana who was relaxing in the sun wearing an orange bikini, big sunglasses and a big white hat.
“At least I got that right” you looked impressed
“Do I have to remind you already that you have a girlfriend?” Keira smirked
“Doesn't mean I can't appreciate beauty if I see...” you started before you stopped abruptly your mouth dropping wide open as you see another woman approaching “Fuck me sideways... WHO's that... she's gorgeous”
“Huh??” Keira looked at you surprised before turning around looking who literally made you speechless
“Really Bitsy? Are you really drooling over Jenni?” she asked you with a raised brow turning back to you
“Gonna name her sexy spaniard” you grinned texting Georgia immediately who you kept in the loop all the time
“You have a girlfriend” Keira stressed
“And she just said either sexy or damn girl spaniard...” you grinned showing Keira the text from your girlfriend
“You two are really made for each other” the englishwoman groaned starting to massage her temples knowing she will have a lot to put up with in the future
“Don't worry Kei... you're going to be the one giving me away when we get married” you grinned
“Your sister won't let me do that” the blonde grinned
“She won't be able to walk because she fucked up her knee even more and I'm not walking next to her hobbling self” you waved off
Keira laughed and hugged you into her side smiling as Lucy came over having finished her talk with Ona about how this time it wasn't her fault that you were “high”
“Hey Bubs... you behaving for Kei?” she asked you smiling
“She's very good” Keira confirmed not showing that she knew you were in fact very much not high or overdosed
“Good... wanna join me and Ona over there?” Lucy pointed over to where Ona just laid down on her towel
“Nope” you answered popping the “p” “... not getting involved in your lovey-dovey shit”
“You're unbelievable you know that?” your sister exclaimed rolling her eyes “I have a very high self-control so not everything is about... THAT”
“You can't even say sex around me... what will you do when you find out that I have sex?” you asked the fact that you could pretend to not know what you're talking about helped you immense to rile your sister up
“Don't remind me” Lucy mumbled shivering
“Our Kid is growing up, Luce... let her be” Keira laughed swatting her exes shoulder playfully
“It must be your influence... if it would my influence she'd die a virgin” Lucy grinned back
“It's young love...” the blonde englishwoman rolled her eyes but smiling “... should I remind you how we were...”
“Please don't” you interrupted quickly “I already got scarred for life by her”
“Keira, Lucy.. you remember Jenni, sí?” Alexia interrupted your little banter appearing out of nowhere right next to Lucy
“Sí... hola Jenni... Cómo estás?” your sister smiled friendly laying her arm around your shoulders pulling you into her side away from Keira
“Estoy bien, muchas gracias...” Jenni smiled back pushing her sunglasses into her hair
“Pretty spaniard” you whisper yelled waving over excited trying to get Alexias attention which made Jenni looking at you confused raising an eyebrow at your antics
“Sí y/n?” Alexia looked at you grabbing your good hand to stop your waving
“Who's the sexy spaniard?” you ask “whispering” nodding her head excessively towards Jenni
Alexia closed her eyes breathing deeply her hand shooting up to her forehead starting to massage it as Jenni made a surprised noise
“Who?” the dark haired spaniard asked confused and surprised
You stayed in “character” making a little squeaky noise trying to “hide” behind Lucy
“Overdose on pain meds” your sister grinned widely before pointing towards Alexia “this is pretty spaniard... Aitana over there is flawless spaniard, Mapí is colorbook spaniard and YOU apparently are... what is Jenni Bubs?”
“Very sexy” you mumbled from behind Lucy
“Very sexy spaniard... welcome to the gang” your sister laughed as Jenni continued to look confused as hell
“I... can't follow” Jenni said her spanish accent thick as she spoke english
“Dear Mary mother of god” you half moaned “she sounds very sexy too... keep talking” you peaked over your sisters shoulder looking at Jenni expectantly
“Stop drooling... you are in a relationship” your sister said as she turned her head looking at you
“I'm so sorry Jen... don't take her seriously... she's... she's a walking disaster but really lovely at the same time – she's Lucias little sister” Alexia explained “you can always ignore her”
Jenni slowly nodded her brows still raised. You peaked out behind your sister again trying your best to look as loopy as possible. You took a step around Lucy just for Alexia to push herself between you and Jenni
“Y/n no... sit with Keira in the shade and...” she tried to keep you away from Jenni as you happily interrupted her
“Colorbook spaniard!!!” you yelled across to Mapí and waved
“Baby Bronze!!!” Mapí yelled back and also waved happily “You're high again”
You stumbled around Alexia and Jenni towards Mapí and NEARLY got to her as you were hauled back as someone grabbed you around your waist
“No Bebita... we don't interact with Mapí right now” Ona said softly
“But she...” you started to pout but Ona ignored you successfully
“No no... no buts... come on.. back to your sister you go” the blonde spaniard said firmly
“You're mean” you pouted towards your sisters girlfriend
“And you're high... so nothing new on both sides” Ona replied dry as she pushed you forward her arms still secured around your waist while you started to wriggle around trying to get rid of Ona
“No Bebita” the blonde spaniard said sternly before looking towards Lucy who had an amused smile on her face “Help please?”
Your sister grinned as she made her way over and got in front of you “Behave Devil Spawn – or I'll make sure you'll behave”
“But the colorbook spaniard wants to play... she needs super...spicion” you lulled mixing up words
“Mapí can play with Pina and Patri... you can play with Keira in the shade” your sister said winking at you before pulling you away from Ona “Thanks for catching her in time Babe”
“No problem... I don't want to think about what these two would do” the blonde smiled slightly
“I'll let you drive my Cupra in the Camp Nuo parking lot if you get Jennis number in your “current state”...” Lucy lead you over to Keira whispering in your ear as she did so
“You serious?” you whispered back surprised
“Dead serious... because I REALLY want to witness that” Lucy chuckled under her breath
“Deal” you grinned and stumbled in her arms for good measure.
“Hey Kei... can you keep an eye on dopey here?” your sister said as she basically dropped you next to Keira
“What's in it for me?” the englishwoman smirked raising her brow behind her sunglasses
“What do you want?” Lucy asked as you already trying to bolt toward Mapí once again just for Keira to grab your shorts pulling you back down without even looking at you
“Nandos... for the next year... every time I'M home...” Keira smirked
“Okay... Deal...” your sister agreed quickly
“That's all I'm worth... Nandos? You could have had anything and you chose Nandos?” you exclaimed outraged
“Your sister has nothing I would want... so Nandos it is... and now be quiet I want to relax and enjoy my day off” Keira said as a matter of fact as your sister left grinning to herself
“I can go to the colorbook spaniard” you said happily knowing Alexia was watching you with hawkeyes and you have to remain “high”
“No” Keira said offhandly and closed her eyes “and don't even try it... firstly I will notice and secondly Alexia will notice too”
You huffed pouting glancing over to the blonde spaniard who was in a conversation with Jenni but you could tell she was having an eye on you
“What's the deal with them two” you asked quietly
“Huh?” Keira asked lifting her head to see what you were talking about “Alexia and Jenni? They had an... agreement for a bit...”
“Stress relieve agreement?” you questioned
“Yes... Alexia then met Olga” your other sister said as she laid back down closing her eyes again
“If I go to Alexia... will you stop me?” you asked already forming a plan in your head to get Jenni Hermosos number
“Oh god... what do you plan now?” Keira groaned knowing the small change in your voice
“Lucy upped the stakes” you grinned
“You will NOT hit on Alexia... I don't care what Lucy promised you, you will not embarrass you and in hindsight me since I'm responsible for you” the englishwoman said firmly
“No no no... no hitting on the scary woman... who's not so scary once you get to know her” you said quickly shutting down any concerns Keira might have
“Okay... if you go STRAIGHT to Alexia okay... I know you're not really high but I also know you AND Mapí... the two of you mean trouble” Keira pointed her finger threating at you
“I promise... and you know I keep my promises with you” you nodded your head
“Before you go... where's your sister?” the blonde asked
“Currently at the booth over there with Ona... drinking something red-ish...” you said after you spotted your sister
“You coming home with me tonight” Keira mused a smirk playing around her lips
“I am?” you asked confused
“Yes... pretty sure she's drinking Sangria... so you don't WANT to be home tonight” the englishwoman grinned as you pulled a disgusted face
“Seriously??? How do you know that??” you dry heaved
“I dated your sister for years... I KNOW what wine does to her” Keira laughed heartily as you threw out an “EW”
“Yep.... I'll definitely sleep at yours tonight” you said flatly looking over to your sister again shivering as you were “blessed” with the sight of your sisters hand on Onas ass while she drank her Sangria and laughed at something one of her teammates said (you haven't met that one now)
“Who's no.3 over there?” you asked Keira interrupting her relaxing once again
“Cata... Cata Coll... our Keeper” she answered after looking up from her position again
“Didn't she receive a yellow last game... how can a keeper get a yellow?” you remembered
“She went all Karate Kid on a player outside of her box” Keira answered patiently all your questions enjoying the interest you're showing.
You haven't showed that much interest since your last injury which she understood but it also hurted not only Keira but Lucy as well when you pulled away from them and everything that involved football. So when you started to show interest now Keira grabbed the opportunity to pull you back into it and if it was just a little bit.
“Catara Kid?” you grinned
“Basically... I'll make sure the kiddies pick up on that name” Keira laughed “I don't know what you have planned but if you want to strike you should do it now... because if you interrupt Alexia once she's relaxing you're in for it...” the blonde grinned and pointed towards Alexia who was about to sit down on her towel
“See you in a bit Kei” you quickly stood up before “stumbling” away while Keira just shook her head smiling
You knew Alexia was watching you since she twitched every time you “stumbled” ready to jump up and catch you (or pick you up). You smiled and congratulated yourself internally for doing such a good job. You came to a stuttering halt in front of her staring down on her.
“What can I do for you, Cariño?” Alexia asked carefully as you swayed slightly in the sand
“You are reeeeeaaaally pretty” you said starring down at Alexia who rolled her eyes but smiled anyways
“You came all the way over here to tell me? That's very nice of you, pequeña” the blonde spaniard smiled friendly not even trying to argue with you
“No... I want to ask you something” you mumbled looking around
“Oh... okay” Alexia looked a little taken aback “What's your question, Cariño?”
“Where is the sexy spaniard... I want to ask her something” you grinned loopy
“You want to ask Jenni something? And what would that be?” the blonde raised an eyebrow expectantly
“It's not your business that I want to ask her how she's so sexy” you “spilled” part of your plan – which you did on purpose
“Ah... okay... you just need to turn around and ask her” Alexia grinned having seen Jenni standing behind you
You turned quickly losing your balance and stumbled backwards right over Alexia and fell into the sand with a squeak. Jenni chuckled lowly as she delicately stepped over a swearing Alexia crouching down next to you
“You okay, little Bronze?” she asked smiling as you let your head fall back with a groan
“Peachy” you groaned out kind of embarrassed but since you were smart you turned the situation into your favour “I hate sand... is everywhere” you mumbled
“Yeah... sand tends to do that if you fall into it” the black haired spaniard chuckled
“Is your fault... sneaking up on me's not nice” you slurred
“I'm sorry... I didn't mean to scare you” Jenni smiled
“You not scary... Lexia is scary... she yelled at me you know” you mumbled as you brushed some sand of your arms
“Did she now? That's not very nice Alexia” the dark haired grinned at the blonde
“Explain to her WHY I yelled.. and I didn't even yell at you – I yelled at María” the blonde answered rolling her eyes
“I know spanish, you know... wait...” you said acting like you have to remember it
“Don't hurt your head, Cariño... you promised to never say it again” Alexia quickly interrupted your thoughts as you yell out a victorious “HA” and turning to Jenni
“Cállate la Boca, matildo hijo de puta! That's it... that was what I learned” you smiled widely at the shocked face of the dark haired one
“Dios Mio...” the blonde groaned “You can't remember your own name but THAT you remember”
“Mapí taught you that?” Jenni asked still working through her shock
“Yes ma'am” you grinned proudly
“I can see why Alexia yelled at you... that's something very bad to say” Jenni said firmly “Don't say it again”
“Say what again?” you said acting like you already forgot what you said just a minute before
“The spanish phrase you just said” the dark haired answered confused
“Give up, Jen... she won't remember anyway... it's easier to play along... she tells me every time she sees me that I'm pretty” Alexia chuckled shrugging her shoulders
“You are pretty” you said coming closer to Alexias face “so pretty”
“See what I mean...” the blonde directed to her fellow spanish national teammate “... thank you, Cariño... it's always nice to get a compliment”
“Okay wow... WHAT did they give her” Jenni laughed loudly
“Ask Ona... she apparently got her the good stuff for a sprained wrist... where is your splint by the way Cariño?” the blonde answered Jennis question before noticing your missing splint
“Was uncomfortable... left it home” you mumbled shyly
“It doesn't help your recovery if you don't listen to the doctors Cariño” Alexia sighed
“Look who's talking” Jenni mumbled under her breath
“But it hurts... not a nice splint” you pouted sadly
“I know Cariño... but it helps you getting better faster” the blonde said sympathetically
“You know...” you started before throwing in a theatrical pause “... you are so pretty”
“Ugh...” Alexia huffed out at your short attention span as Jenni laughed again
“This is amazing...” the dark haired laughed
“You are very sexy” you smiled loopy
“Thank you little Bronze...” Jenni laughed “... but I think it's time for getting rid of the sand, hm?”
“Ugh...” now it was your time to huff “... I hate the sand... gets everywhere”
“I know... come on... I'll help you wash it off since you would probably drown in the shower” the dark haired laughed
“You sure? I can too” Alexia looked at the two of you sceptical
“It's okay... It's my fault she fell...” Jenni nodded smiling
“Yeah... it's her fault” you threw in for good measure
“Off you go then... don't leave her out of your sight for a second... she'll be gone, trust me” the blonde warned before making a shoo-motion with her hand
Jenni pulled you up into a standing position and you swayed around a little bit
“Huuuiii” you smiled as you swayed
“And you probably need some water too.... I'm pretty sure your circulation is low...” the dark haired spaniard smiled friendly as she grabbed your hip securely
You leaned against her letting her lead the way towards the public showers passing your sister on the way you held onto Jennis waist hearing Lucy choke on her Sangria as she realized who just passed her. You grinned to yourself knowing exactly how it must look to anyone as you held your other hand up behind your back flipping your sister off.
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lastoneout · 5 months
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I was too high last night to formulate this into proper words but something plagiarists(and by extension AI techbros) don't get about people who make things out of a love for that thing is that they are, consciously or not, doing it because they enjoy the process itself. Yes, it is easier to have a machine make a mug or painting or essay for you, or to steal someone else's, but again, people who actually like making stuff don't want someone else to do it for us because you have fully removed the thing we enjoy: the process of making a thing.
Like sure it would be nice to have a finished Gundam model or a trainset, but people who build gunpla kits and trainsets don't WANT someone else to do it for them, they want to do it. The sculptor or painter doesn't want a machine to just give them finished works of art, they want to MAKE that art themselves. The home gardner can just buy fresh food at the store, the tailor or knitter can buy a finished shirt or sweater whenever they want, but they don't because the act of gardening and sewing and knitting itself is what they enjoy.
Plagarists and AI techbros don't get that because they do not enjoy these processes. They enjoy making money and having social clout, and so they are perfectly happy stealing and automating things so that they don't have to do an ounce of real work while still getting all of the benefits of having created something. It really is all about finding the fastest and easiest way to get someone to hand you money or elect you god-king of the internet.
And the reason these two groups have such a hard time understanding each other is because of that fundamental disconnect. People who create things can never understand someone just wanting to press a button or copy-paste their way to having art because we want to indulge in the joy of creation itself, and those plagarists and AI dudes can't understand artists because to them it's just a means to an end so ofc it's in their best interest to make it as easy as possible. They don't get why someone would do this, or anything, if not for the social capital and/or actual capital it brings. Ofc it's better to automate it or steal it from someone else, that means you can make money faster and spend your time enjoying actual meaningful things like being wealthy and looked up to or w/e.
Plus creators(for lack of a better word) know keenly what it's like to BE stolen from or at least know people it has happened to, and so we are generally anti-plagarism by default.
Anyway yeah thats why to anyone who creates the other group seems so soulless and empty. It's because they kinda are. Because they don't value art or artists or care about creating things, and they certainly don't have any ammount of respect for the people they're hurting, they just want money and for "lesser" people to bow down as they walk by, and they are perfectly fine stealing to get there. It's the same mentality you get from people who pressure you to monetize your hobbies, they only see skills as an opportunity to make money. And it's really fucking sad.
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in-my-feels-probably · 11 months
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Home - Benedict Bridgerton x Reader
Home
Request: Have you considered Benedict falling for a friend of Daphne's? Like if they're as close as Pen and Eloise but maybe with a little less drama? I think it would be funny for Benedict to ask for advice on how to talk to her and Daph being done. Just "you've known her for as long as I have."
Hi! Thank you again for the request, this is such a cute idea. I hope you don’t mind, but I made the reader a Featherington. I went a little off track too, it was easier for me to write that way. If this isn’t what you were looking for, I’m happy to take another request or alter this one. Sorry for the long wait on getting this out, but I hope you enjoy this :)
(Warnings: insecurity, middle child trauma, nothing else i think? idk, let me know if i missed anything)
Living in Grosvenor Square certainly had its ups and downs.
On one hand, you were mere steps away from your best friends. The Bridgertons lived right across the street, and you could visit them practically whenever you wanted. On the other hand—the not so nice hand—your family is the Featherington’s. Which isn’t an inherently bad thing. You loved your family, and could ignore most of the negatives. It just certainly has its pitfalls, being a Featherington daughter.
The Featherington’s—while rich and somewhat dignified—aren’t considered to be the most respectable of families. There wasn’t any one main reason why members of the ton didn’t much like your family, they just didn’t.
It wasn’t a personal grudge with you they had. In fact, you were quite liked by the ton.
More often than not, however, they didn’t pay much attention to you. It was easy to forget you were there when the rest of your family was the center of attention.
You were born soon after Phillipa but before Penelope, making you a middle child.
Your Mother seemed to connect with her eldest far more than her youngest, and that put a strain on your relationship. Not only that, you were much more akin to Penelope, having a lot more in common with her than your older sisters and your Mother combined. You were a bit of a wallflower, like Penelope, and it was a hard trait for your Mother to get past.
It wasn’t all negatives, though.
One of the biggest perks of being a Featherington was the fact that you lived directly across from the Bridgertons. You had spent most of your life over at their residence since the day you developed the ability to walk.
And, subsequently, the ability to walk across the street.
Violet Bridgerton’s first girl—Daphne—was born right around the same time as you were, and she decided Daphne was going to need a friend. Being the first girl born to a family of three brothers was a challenge, and Violet thought it best that Daphne should be able to socialize with a girl her age.
By the time you were both able to talk, you became inseparable. Just as your sister Penelope had come to develop a deep friendship with Eloise Bridgerton, you had come to develop your own with Daphne.
And by extension, you became good friends with her eldest brothers.
Anthony was the oldest, quite a bit older than you. He was already a handful of trouble by the time you showed up, and he already had plenty of practice teasing girls with his sisters as victims. In your first few years, he’d make it his mission each time you visited the house to fluster you, and annoy Daphne. It was harmless fun, and it never really bothered you, although he tried his hardest nonetheless. But as you got older, he became quite protective over you. It was like you were another sister to him, and you definitely bantered and squabbled like siblings do. As annoying as he could be, you loved him like a brother.
Colin was a similar story, although you saw something more to him. It was easy to, with the way Penelope talked about him endlessly. She could ramble for hours, making you listen to every painstaking detail. You definitely understood her affection for him, though. He’s charming and kind, much like his other brothers, but he’s also fun and witty. Daphne tended to favor him the most. They were closest in age, after all. Between her and Penelope, you spent quite a lot of time with him, and you certainly enjoyed his company.
But—besides Daphne—you enjoyed no other Bridgerton’s company like you did Benedict’s.
Benedict was different. He was more.
He was just as kind and charming as Anthony, and just as witty as Colin—certainly as annoyingly beautiful as Daphne—but he was more than that, too. He was sensitive and sweet, far more so than the rest of the Lords of the ton. He was passionate about art and love and valuing the little things. He didn’t care about marrying the prettiest girl for advantage, or inheriting her dowry. He cared about pursuing his dreams, and inspiring others to do the same.
Just the way he talked about his passions and values was enough to make any girl swoon, and yet he was still genuine with his words. It wasn’t for flattery or manipulation, he meant every word. Everything he did, he did for himself and the people he loves.
If it weren’t for Daphne currently holding the number one spot, you’d consider him your best friend.
He’d consider you the same.
You spend just as much time with him as you do with Daphne, and over the years, he’d come to cherish your company.
You saw him for him, not for his title. You listened to his endearing ramblings about his passions because you genuinely enjoyed hearing about them, not because you felt obligated to listen. You treated him like a person, not a prize to be won. It was all he could ask for in a best friend.
But that’s just it. That’s all you were to him. A best friend.
He was so sure that was all you’d ever be. Perhaps one day you’d be his sister in law, considering how close Penelope and Colin had gotten. You’d be family, and that was alright with him. It was what he expected. And then the unexpected happened.
He started falling.
The first time he noticed his feelings for you had shifted was the evening of a ball the Queen was throwing.
You’d come over early to get dressed with Daphne, wanting to help make sure she was perfect. She had finally revealed to you her ruse she was sharing with the Duke, you being the first person outside of their agreement to know. You were shocked at first, but as you listened to her speak, you gave her a knowing smile.
“You love him.”
Her eyes widened in shock, her cheeks blushing a rosy pink. “What? Why would you say that?”
“You love him,” you said again, smiling gently at her. “I’ve never seen you speak with such passion. With the way you talk about him, there’s no other possibility. One couldn’t possibly think that highly of another without feelings being involved—”
“You speak of my brother like that,” Daphne interrupted, chuckling when you swallowed your words.
You chose to ignore her statement, continuing to advise her on the best course of action for how to get through the remainder of her agreed upon days with the Duke. If the way he looked at her without her knowing was of any consequence, you were sure he felt the same way about her. All she had to do was make him see that.
When it was time to leave for the ball, all the Bridgerton’s piled into carriages. Daphne was hurried out the door, and she left with her Mother and Anthony, leaving you behind. When you tried to head back home to be escorted by your family, Benedict stopped you.
He had opened and closed his mouth a few times before he was able to choke out any words. Normally, he found it pretty easy to talk to you. But for some reason, the sight of you standing by his front door made his knees weak.
“I’m afraid they’ve already left,” he finally said, stopping you at the door. “They must have assumed you’d be accompanied by us.”
You groaned, feeling a pit form in your stomach. “I have no other way to get there. I promised Daphne I’d be there for her. Pen, too. She seemed quite nervous about attending tonight.”
“Not to worry,” he smiled, offering you his arm. “You can ride with me.”
You sighed in relief, thanking him profusely. “Well, aren’t you a lifesaver? Thank you, Benedict.”
“Of course,” he nodded, helping you into the carriage.
As you settled into your seat, a thought occurred to you. “Benedict…why are you still here? Not that I’m not grateful, but I don’t understand. You’ve been talking about going to the palace for days to see the Queen’s gallery. I would have expected you to be the first one out the door. But here you are.”
He was quiet for a moment as he took in your words, his eyes softening on you.
There were many things he could have said to you to easily explain it away. I’ll see the gallery soon anyways, or, I promised my Mother and yours that I’d make sure you got there safely. Numerous excuses he could have come up with to satisfy your curiosity, and yet, all that was coming to mind was, I can see the gallery another time, but I may never get to see you alone and sitting in front of me looking this beautiful with your undivided attention again, and I won’t pass up on the opportunity for anything.
“I don’t know,” he finally said as he shrugged his shoulders, feigning innocence. “But here I am.”
He didn’t truly acknowledge his feelings for you until months later, after attempting to ignore it for so long.
The second time he noticed was when he found out that the only reason he got into art school was because Anthony made a sizable donation to the Academy.
You had found him alone during yet another ton gathering, sulking on the edge of the party. Daphne had already gone home to Simon, and wouldn’t return for some time. Besides Penelope—and occasionally Eloise—Benedict was one of the only people you actually liked enough to be around. And seeing as both Penelope and Eloise were nowhere to be found, Benedict was your only hope.
You just hadn’t expected to find him nearly in tears, anxiously tugging at the cufflinks at the bottom of his sleeve.
It didn’t take much to get him to spill, and you found yourself pulling him inside to keep him away from prying eyes while he was in such a state. He told you all about Anthony’s meddling, and you knew it had crushed his heart to find out that he hadn’t actually achieved anything on his own.
“I know he did it out of the good of his heart…but I wish he hadn’t done it at all.”
He brought his hands up to cover his face, groaning into them. You reached for his wrists and tried to pull them away, but he wouldn’t budge. He finally relented when you said his name softly, letting you take his hands in yours.
“Benedict, it doesn’t matter how you got in. You’re an incredible artist, that’s all that matters,” you said softly, squeezing his hand in yours.
He shook his head, sighing in frustration. “I’m not. My work is child’s play compared to the other artists at the Academy. They all knew why I had even been given a spot in the first place. I’m an imposter, Y/N. A fraud. It was humiliating.”
“That’s a bit dramatic, darling,” you lightly chuckled, your smile fading when his defeated look didn’t waver.
“Alright, that’s it. Fess up. This can’t be all that’s bothering you. I know you, and I know you’re not one to give up that easily. You’ve been flustered all week, so what is it? You can tell me. Not that I have anyone to tell, but I won’t tell. I promise.”
His eyes softened on you as you spoke, and you could feel his grip on your hand get tighter. “I just…I’m tired.”
“Of what?”
“Of being second.”
You frowned, swiping your thumb across the back of his hand. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s just something Anthony said,” he murmured, keeping his eyes on your joined hands. “How I may be the second son, but that it doesn’t mean I am any less required to do my duties to the family. It’s rich coming from him. I’ve been second to him literally my entire life, and he’s only recently started taking his role seriously. I’ve played Father’s role since his passing. Isn’t it just my luck that he’s getting the credit for it?”
“You may be second to him in birth, but that is the only way you’re second. You’re every bit as good as him, Benedict,” you said firmly, but you weren’t sure if your words were sinking in.
He was uncharacteristically quiet, though his grip on your hands hadn’t wavered. His eyes were still on the floor, and his shoulders were shaking as he took uneven breaths.
“I know what that feels like, you know,” you finally said, making him glance up at you. “I’m a Featherington. A middle child at that, and it’s no secret my Mother favors my older sisters.”
Benedict let out a small laugh, shaking his head. “She’s wrong to. I don’t mean to be rude, but you and Pen are worlds more interesting and gracious than your sisters. The eldest, at least.”
“You don’t even know them,” you said in shock, but you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing, too.
“I don’t need to. You’re the only one I’m interested in knowing. Middle child or not.”
You couldn’t help but smile, although his kind words weren’t enough. The more you thought about just how second to the world you were, the more your smile faded.
“It’s not just being the middle child,” you continued, speaking softly. “I love your sister more than almost anything in this whole world, but I have always been second to her, too. She was the diamond of the season the second she was let out of leading strings, and now she’s my Duchess. I’m so happy for her, but it does put a damper on your confidence. Watching your best friend grow into this person everyone loves, and it’s like she didn’t even try.”
“Y/N—”
“Sometimes I feel awful, thinking this way. I know she tried, I was there for her every time she’d get overwhelmed. But she made it look so easy. I don’t know how she did it,” you rambled, taking a shuddering breath as you stopped yourself from speaking.
Benedict’s eyes softened on you as you spoke, making you want to shrink away from his gaze. He was being kind, and you didn’t know if it was genuine or not. If he was faking it for your sake, that was much worse than his actual pity.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make this about me, let’s get back to you—”
“Y/N,” he said again, this time effectively silencing you. “You can’t possibly feel that way.”
It was your turn to look at the floor. “Why shouldn’t I? It’s true.”
“That is the furthest thing from the truth,” he said gently, taking your hand. “You’re every bit as good as my sister. I know she makes things look easy, but she spoke just as highly of you as you do of her.”
You raised a brow. “Really?”
“Really. She used to tell me how kind you were to her, even after Lady Whistledown printed her supposed scandals. You were never judgemental.”
“I have no right to judge anyone, especially not her. She’s never said a bad thing about anyone, it isn’t right that people just took a scandal sheet as truth. And, if anything, she was kind to me. She, Eloise, Colin, and you are pretty much the only members of the ton that treat me like a normal person and not an outcast because of who my family is.”
Benedict smiled, squeezing your hand. “I would never dream of treating you any other way.”
You fought the flush that crept up to your cheeks, feeling the heat settle in them. You cleared your throat, shaking your head.
“Anyway,” you smiled, meeting his eyes. “I don’t mean to keep you away. Should we go back to the party? Someone may be looking for you. You’re quite popular, you know.”
Benedict couldn’t help but smile. And as he watched you look up at him through gentle eyes and an open heart, he couldn’t bring himself to move. It was like his feet were stuck to the floor, and he didn’t want to do anything to pull them up. He shook his head, keeping his hand in yours.
“No,” he finally answered, taking a seat. “Let them look. I’d much rather spend my evening with you. If you’ll allow me to, that is.”
You shook your head, taking a seat next to him. “I’ve got nowhere I’d rather be.”
The third time he noticed was when you, Daphne, and he accompanied Penelope and Colin to promenade throughout the square. She and Simon had come to visit, and she wanted to spend time with you and her family.
This time, he couldn’t ignore his feelings.
You followed behind Colin and Penelope, giving them enough room to speak privately without feeling like their older siblings were on their backs. You smiled as you watched Penelope look up at him, Colin being as gentlemanly as ever.
“It took him long enough,” you said, making Benedict chuckle.
“I thought he’d never figure it out.”
“Me either,” you agreed, grinning as you watched Colin smile down at your sister. “I should bash him over the head. I’ve listened to Pen spend countless hours rambling on about how utterly oblivious Colin can be. He owes me a debt.”
“He isn’t the only oblivious person I know,” Daphne piped in, making your eyes widen.
You had told her countless times about your feelings for Benedict, and how he never seemed to reciprocate them.
What you didn’t know is that he had done the same, on more than one occasion going to his siblings for advice on how to address them. Pushing them down until he couldn’t feel them seemed to be working, at least until now. And as far as he knew, you didn’t reciprocate his feelings either.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said nervously, silently pleading with her to drop the subject.
“Neither do I,” Benedict added, making Daphne chuckle.
She just grinned, ever so slightly raising a brow. “I mean Anthony, of course. It took him quite a while to realize that what he felt for Kate was much more than rivalry. I practically had to beg it out of him.”
“You’re a little matchmaker, aren’t you?” You asked, smiling at her. “Who’s next? Eloise, perhaps?”
“Perhaps…you?”
You immediately stilled, making them stop, too. “Me?”
“Don’t look so surprised, Y/N. You’ve been my best friend for ages, and I know what’s good for you. You’re lonely. And as awful as it is, the ton will start to talk. If the only people you talk to outside of your own family are Benedict and I, they’ll begin to notice.”
You frowned, nodding. She was right. Harsh, but right. The threat of becoming a spinster was looming over your head every season, and it had only gotten worse after Daphne married in her first season. Your second season came and went, and you were now in your third.
Without any prospects.
And it was looking like your baby sister was going to beat you to the punch as well. You were silent, a small frown on your face.
Thankfully, Benedict broke the silence. Just the thought of you marrying someone—especially someone who didn’t deserve you—made his skin crawl. He felt like he could keel over, and by the look on your face, he could tell you were feeling similarly. He couldn’t keep himself from turning you away from Daphne’s advice.
“Why settle?” He asked cautiously, giving you a sympathetic look. “Don’t let the ton pressure you. You’ll know when it’s the right time.”
You had fully made it around the square, now back in front of your house. Penelope was saying goodbye to Colin, at least for the moment. His Mother invited you and Penelope to dinner to welcome Simon and Daphne home, and so they’d see each other again in mere hours.
You gave Benedict a grateful smile, nodding. “You’re right. Thank you. If you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time to pull our siblings apart before they actually become attached at the hip. Mother wants us home before we join you later.”
Daphne chuckled, taking your hands in hers. “I think you’re right. I’ll see you soon, dearest.”
You squeezed her hands in yours, before going to gather your sister. You gave Colin a knowing smile, turning and heading inside with your sister in tow. The Bridgerton’s did the same, filing into their house one by one.
The second Benedict shut the door behind him, he collapsed against it, groaning. “What was all that for, Daph?”
“What? I was simply giving you both a little nudge. God knows you needed one. You’re even worse than Colin was, brother.”
“I don’t need a nudge. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
Colin laughed, taking off his coat as he headed up the stairs. “I could hear your stuttering. It was laughable.”
“Oh, piss off,” Benedict pouted, waving away Colin as he chuckled the rest of the way up the stairs.
Daphne offered him a small smile, letting out a sigh. She took his arm, leading them to the sitting room. After promptly sitting down, she gave him an expectant look, and he reluctantly sat next to her.
“Out with it,” she urged. “Why did our conversation with Y/N bother you so?”
“I don’t know,” he huffed, shaking his head.
Daphne narrowed her eyes, speaking gently but firmly. “You do know, Benedict. Admit it. You feel something for her.”
“Does it matter? She doesn’t feel the same way.”
“How could you possibly know that?” Daphne exasperatedly asked, nearly bursting at the seams.
She knew of both your affections for each other, and yet, she couldn’t bring herself to tell either of you about the other. It didn’t feel right, going behind the other’s back. She had decided the moment she knew of each of your feelings to let the matter run its own course. What she hadn’t anticipated was it taking this long.
It was getting near impossible to keep the secret, and she decided a little meddling was excusable.
“She’s never said anything to me that would allude to her feeling anything for me. What would you have me do? Ask her directly?”
“There’s an idea,” Daphne shrugged.
Benedict sighed, trying to shove down the anxiety he felt at the thought of confronting you. “You saw me out there. I wouldn’t even know where to start. How do I talk to her?”
“You’ve known her as long as I have, brother. She’s your best friend! Just talk to her. She’ll understand, I promise. She won’t hurt your feelings if that’s what you’re worried about. You know she won’t.”
“Then why do I feel like I’m going to be sick at the mere thought of talking to her about it?”
Daphne smiled, her eyes softening. “Because you love her.”
Benedict’s shoulders fell, like Daphne just saying it out loud was the first time he was admitting it to himself. Like his feelings hadn’t fully sunk in, and now they were hitting him all at once like a freight train. It was a realization for him, and it both excited and terrified him at the same time. His emotion was clear on his face as his mouth fell open, making Daphne’s smile widen.
“Don’t worry, brother,” she reassured him. “It will all work out. I truly believe that. Take the afternoon to yourself, and keep your mind off of it till dinner. You’ll know the right thing to say when it’s time.”
That evening, you returned to the Bridgerton’s residence with Penelope.
The family gathered in the sitting room before dinner was ready, but Daphne pulled you away before you could follow. She took you all the way to the backyard, sitting down on the swing. She motioned for you to follow, and you took a seat on the swing next to her.
“I wanted to apologize about earlier,” she said softly. “I saw your face, I know I upset you. That wasn’t my intention, and I hope you can forgive me.”
You shook your head. “Don’t apologize. I needed to hear it. I might not like it, but I needed to hear it.”
“It hurt, Y/N. You don’t have to minimize that to spare my feelings. It’s alright to admit it. Do you…do you want to talk about it? I think there’s something more to it that’s bothering you, love.”
She was right.
Of course she was, she was always right. You sighed, turning to look back through the window into the house. You could see Penelope standing with the rest of the family, laughing at something Colin was telling her. He was smiling down at her like she had hung every star in the sky, just so he could have the chance to watch them sparkle. It was beautiful.
And it was painful.
“I just,” you started, keeping your eyes on Penelope. “I’m happy for her. I’m so happy for her. But I’m feeling a bit left behind.”
Daphne took your hand, leaning closer. “What do you mean?”
“I feel so selfish saying this, but…it’s what I want. She’s getting all that I want. All my life, I’ve wanted what you and your family have. You’re all so loved, and you love each other so deeply. Pen deserves that, I want her to have that. And I have no doubt that by the end of the season, she’ll have it. She’ll marry Colin, and officially be a Bridgerton. Part of the family. But she won’t be mine anymore. And I won’t be hers.”
Daphne frowned, squeezing your hand in hers. She turned you to meet her eyes, giving you a knowing look.
“I have a feeling this has more to do with a certain brother of mine. And I don’t mean Colin.”
You frowned, and she knew she was right.
“This is about Benedict. With Penelope being with Colin, it’s a reminder that you’re not with him. And you want to be with him.”
You couldn’t deny your feelings any longer. “I do. God, I really do. But it’s more than that. I want to be his family. I want to be your family.”
“And you’ve had to silently watch Penelope get what you’ve been waiting for,” Daphne said in realization, her heart breaking when you nodded.
Daphne stood up, pulling you with her. She wrapped you into a tight hug, refusing to relent until you hugged her back. You sighed in frustration, letting her gently rock you back and forth.
“Y/N,” she said softly, pulling away. “You’re already my sister. Regardless of who you end up with, whether it’s my brother or not. Wherever you end up, it doesn’t matter. You will always be my sister. You never have to worry about that. Not ever.”
You smiled softly, squeezing her hands. Just as you opened your mouth to speak, a throat cleared behind you. You quickly turned to see Benedict standing at the door.
“Mother told me to come collect you both. Dinner will be soon. Daph, Simon is asking after you.”
Daphne nodded, turning back to you. “Come along, then.”
“Actually,” Benedict interrupted, his eyes falling on you. “Could I have a moment alone with Y/N, please? If it’s alright with you.”
“Of course,” you said nervously, nodding towards Daphne.
Daphne smiled, nodding back. She patted Benedict on the shoulder as she headed back inside, closing the door behind her.
When she was gone, Benedict gave you a sheepish smile. He motioned for you to sit down, and you took a seat on the swing. He sat on the swing next to you, turning his body so that he was facing you. His knees brushed yours as he settled.
“What is it?” You asked, giving him all your attention.
“I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”
Your eyes softened on him, and you laid your hand on his arm. “I’m alright, Ben. Better now, since you’ve arrived.”
“Cheesy,” he smiled, but his heart was fluttering in his chest. “You know how to make a man smile, don’t you?”
“I didn’t think I was doing anything in particular,” you shrugged.
Benedict’s smile widened, and he couldn’t help but ponder his feelings for you. From the moment he found you alone on his doorstep, to when you took care of him at his lowest. From the way you treated his family, to the selflessness you never failed to put before your own wishes. From the way you made him feel, to the way he so desperately hoped you felt. He couldn’t stop himself from confessing, hoping his words wouldn’t come back to haunt him.
“I have to tell you something,” he murmured, taking a shuddering breath after he realized what he said, and what he was about to do.
You nodded. “What is it?”
“I think—and in case this is a huge mistake on my part, please forgive me—but, I think…I think I’m in love with you.”
You stiffened, standing up from the swing. “What?”
“I,” he stuttered, standing up as well. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was—”
You cut him off, taking his hands in yours. “Say it again.”
Benedict’s eyes widened, and you had caught him at a loss for words. He felt like you had punched him in the gut, sending him to his knees. But he nodded, squeezing your hands in his.
“I love you,” he said again, softer this time as he looked at you through gentle eyes. “I’ve loved you from the moment you got into that carriage with me, and I’ve loved you every moment since. I love you.”
Your shoulders fell, and you could feel the tears welling in your eyes. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, clinging tightly to his hands. You felt like your knees could give out, and the only thing holding you up was him.
“You’re not lying? You’re serious?”
Benedict almost laughed, nodding. “Yes, Y/N. I’m serious. Do you really think I would jest about this?”
You couldn’t help but laugh as well, bringing a hand up to cover your mouth. “All that time. All that time, and you couldn’t tell me? You certainly waited long enough.”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand, darling,” he said, cocking his head in confusion.
You were starting to worry him now, concern written all over his face. It made your heart clench in your chest.
You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. You were so happy, you couldn’t help but hold him close, smiling wider when you felt his arms wrap around your waist, despite his confusion. You held him tight, standing up on your toes so he could hear you loud and clear.
“I love you too, Benedict.”
He instantly pulled away, holding you back at arms length. “You what?”
“I love you,” you said again, taking his hands. “And I’ve been waiting ages for the day you’d finally tell me you felt the same. I never thought I’d hear you say the words, but I am so happy that you did.”
It was his turn to ask. “You’re serious? This isn’t a joke?”
You shook your head, and he squeezed your hands. You brought one of your joined hands up to press a kiss to the back of his, smiling up at him.
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”
A/N - Hi! I’m so sorry this took so long, it took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to write. Not sure why this one was so difficult, but I finished it! I hope you enjoyed it :)
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