#bc truly he spends all his time watching stupid stuff
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my brother, who watches st*r w*rs and m*rvel movies and thinks they’re actually good and almost never ever watches any ~good movies besides once in a blue moon always tries to piss me off by making fun of scorsese/his movies like he is the only director i like ever?? or the only ‘good’ director that exists?? truly the grip that this one article had one Disney Media Fans is insaneeeee and hilarious
#txt#also he acts like watching 'old' or old movies is impossible for him#bc truly he spends all his time watching stupid stuff#also he makes fun of better call saul and succession for being 'boring' shows that only i like#meanwhile he was/is a g*me of thr*nes fan el oh el#im sorry but he is so annoying abt all this shit i hate talking to men about stuff like that#bc if theyre part of a certain demographic they are insufferable and enraging to talk to
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bestie just randomly thought about reader's thoughts on lhh like I'm guessing she truly loved it and maybe braided his hair and stuff?
oh babe 100000% i alluded to it so briefly in parts 4 & 5 (like 3 sentences blink and you'll miss them) but will elaborate here
and by elaborate i mean write 3 baby blurbs bc i simply could not help myself
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he spent so much time in la and malibu after the band took a break, absolutely soaking up his newfound freedom and the fame that came with it, that you rarely saw him but he was sure to spend as much time as possible with you whenever he was back in london, which found you here, just the two of you and the weed you nicked from Roxy's stash lounging in the living room in your flat. You leaned back against the couch, your assignments for the week long forgotten, relishing in the warmth from the weed and the way your knee brushed against his thigh.
You rolled your head along the back of the couch to look at him, the way his cheekbones stood out when he inhaled. He looked good. He always did, but there was something about the way he carried himself with this hair, the way it looked when he pulled it back into a bun like he had now, illuminating all his best features, making it impossible to look away from his face. He had somehow grown since you last seen him, filled out more too, looking more like a man than the boy you had grown up with, something that made your heart absolutely gallop in your chest.
"I've got an idea," you said, your mouth feeling drier than normal as you spoke for the first time in ages. He put the bowl down on the table and turned to you, his half lidded eyes gleaming at you.
"You should let me braid your hair." you continued.
"What?" he asked incredulously." "Fuck no."
"Think it'd be fun," you said. "You'd look fit."
"Think so?" he snorted, his eyebrows shooting up as you blushed, silently cursing the weed for loosening your lips. Ah, well. Whatever it takes to get your way.
"Only one way to find out."
"Alright then," he says, his hands languidly coming up to take down his bun, shaking out his long locks. "How do y' want me?"
It took some coordination but you eventually found yourself sitting cross legged on the couch as he laid his head in your lap, his long legs hanging off the arm of the couch. You ran your fingers through his hair, goosebumps lining your arms when he groaned in appreciation.
"Feels nice," he murmured softly, eyes fluttering closed as you began to braid, fingers mindlessly following patterns you taught yourself ages ago.
"You're so gonna fall asleep," you said with a laugh.
"'m not," he said stubbornly, though the way his speech slurred and breath deepened betrayed his words. "Wan' to hang out with you. Haven't been around -"
"Been busy though, yeah? You don't have to -"
"s gonna be different now, I promise. Won't be like before." he said, his brow furrowing as he tried to get his words out through his slurred speech. "Gonna be around more -"
"Not sure about that," you say, smile growing on your face. "We don't have many yachts in London."
"Nooooo," he groaned, blush spreading across his face before he brought his hands up to cover it, hiding his face in his hands. "Y' promised."
"Did no such thing," you say, unable to contain your giggles, laughing so hard he has no choice to join.
"Gonna get you back for that," he mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I'd like to see you try," you say as he hums, a comfortable silence falling over you as you continue your handiwork, living for the way that no matter how much changes between you two, you'll always have this. You'll always have each other.
---
i mean you really liked it, after getting a vague text from him "you should watch corden if you want to see me do something really stupid" you stayed up to watch, only to feel like every nerve ending was on fire, staring enraptured at how he looked getting tattooed, the wooziness of his eyes, the cockiness of how he was sat, legs spread wide with that irresistible smirk on his face and found yourself falling asleep later with fantasies whirling through her mind, dreaming of being there with him, sat on his lap as he mumbled "pull my hair, love" into the skin of your neck as you rolled her hips against his. "tha's it, love. fuck the pain away," he groaned, his big hands sliding down your hips to help their roll against his as their lips crashed into each other. you woke up in a cold sweat, absolutely soaked, and completely unable to look him in the eye any time he brought up that tattoo, trying your best to seem unaffected, desperately hoping he wouldn't see right through you.
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You stood next to his mum and Gemma when he was about to cut it off, keeping the conversation light to ease his nerves about the whole ordeal.
"Actually -" he said, causing Lou to pause when her hands reached for the scissors. "Do y' want to do it?"
"Me? Cut it?" you asked in disbelief.
"Just the chop, let the professional do the rest." he said and Lou snorted, handing you the scissors.
"Could get you extra points with the boss," he said, alluding to the fact that he was donating it to the company you were interning for, but there was something else behind his eyes. Like the time he took the bandana out of his hair for the first time, letting his longer hair fall for the first time, a moment of self consciousness so rare for the lad who had girls screaming his name at every turn.
"Yeah, I'll do it," you said, stepping behind him, squeezing his shoulder as you quietly murmur. "It's gonna look great."
You take the braid in your hands, trying to ignore the slight tremor as your palms begin to sweat.
"Hang on, are you only asking me so you have someone to blame if it goes all wonky?" you asked and he honked out a laugh, his shoulders relaxing from the tension they held despite his best efforts to conceal it.
"Caught me there," he said before locking eyes with you in the mirror, quietly murmuring "I trust you."
You smile back at him, lift the scissors and cut. End of an era.
---
#i wrote a lot dont think you were asking for that but here we are#this was fun if people have more things like this im happy 2 do them#writers block kicking me bad#something old#something old blurb#harry styles fanfiction#this is unedited just off the cuff lmk what u think anon its all for you
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GOD OKAY. I swear i'm gonna log off and go do my stupid little yoga for my stupid little health but i am. thinking about WLB and Nureyev say the wedding was difficult for him too and i just.
hi for the love of god HELLO?? did he spend like the same fifteen years himself dreaming of the same kind of moment? that it wouldn't be too late that he could make it happen that he could overcome the tragedy and have a second chance at that life? when did he have to give up? did he spend the first like three to five years thinking he could pull it off, and then time just keeps ticking on and he realizes that he's spent years becoming someone else and his love is still like. twenty. maybe half his problem with the aging stuff is that every time he looks in the mirror means acknowledging getting farther and farther away and Slip would never get a chance to catch up? and then he's in his thirties, and whatever notions of romantic fidelity he might have been clinging to have long since had to fall by the wayside but he's not about to give up on giving Slip his life back, to give him some kind of life back. so that's it. 'there's nothing and no one who can shake me now'
and then BOOM. cue detective in a window. and now he's playing the wedding music for his crime moms. and he's happy for them! truly! but he's watching them get the culmination of their reunion and their growth and making the promise of a life together in the wake of that fifteen year tragedy and it means also having to face some things that maybe in theory he's considered but are now right there in his tangible reality. and maybe finally reconciling himself to the dream he'll never have and the life that. maybe? maybe he could?
i am also thinking about how. he can't save slip but he DID save juno. like nobody would have found him in the desert if buddy and jet hadn't been looking for him. and juno couldn't save sonny or take down captain hijikata but he DID help rita. bc it's about doing what you can. and thinking you've failed in a big way bc you can't see all the other places where what you did mattered to somebody.
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PLEASE tell me more about penny lamb being more like legolands penny lamb that sounds so amazing and could only lead to chaos
Sure!
It would absolutely lead to chaos.
Penny in Legoland is an absolute MENACE, she argues with a lot of people in St. Cassian’s, and has been suspended at least once
And that’s not getting into the actual plot of Legoland where she travels miles, gets into a fight and gets arrested
She’s very nervous but she isn’t shy, she can and will talk for ages about stuff she's passionate about to try to conceal her nerves
This version of Penny probably joined the choir to help make friends and also because she enjoys music, maybe to help her reputation as well considering everything that happened just 2 YEARS prior
She would probably get along best with Noel actually, he would remind her of Ezra, with his flair for the dramatic, and his love for the gloomier side of life, plus I feel like they would both bond over poetry
Penny and Ricky would def be friends, she loves all his cats bc animals and also would like to listen to his stories about Zolar, furthermore, I feel like he’s one of the few who would happily listen to her ramble about animals and conservation, every time they hang out he learns a new fact about an animal
Mischa and Penny I think would be close, I feel like they would bond over having to adjust to a new society, with Mischa coming from Ukraine, and Penny coming from Elysium, they would be in similar situations
Penny would like Constance’s calm energy compared to the rest of the choir but I also think they would have similar tastes in music, tv shows and films! Constance shows her a lot of tv shows, I think they would binge watch together.
Ocean and Penny’s relationship would be tense, I feel like they would butt heads in the classroom a lot, Penny often trying to correct Ocean or vice versa, but they share a similar view on swearing and both take the choir very seriously, so they tolerate each other (I love the duo potential in RTC but Legoland Penny would absolutely hate Ocean I’m sorry)
Overall the choir would be 10x more chaotic than they already are and Penny would create problems both by accident and on purpose, most of the antics in Legoland were her ideas so that would carry over to this
She would absolutely get them in trouble on field trips by finding ways to sneak into places they shouldn’t be, Mischa absolutely encourages her, Ocean tries to stop her, she is just determined to see why they can’t go there, nothing can stop her
But once the choir finds out about the events of Legoland is when the chaos would truly start
They probably found out via someone mentioning it in the hallways or via google
Penny is extremely embarrassed
“I was 15! Young and stupid!”
“You were 15???”
She does tell them what happened in full because she trusts her friends
Mischa, Ricky, and Constance find the story hilarious, Ocean is shocked that PENNY of all people would have a criminal record before anyone else
Noel sympathises with her but also thinks it's kinda funny, he's mostly impressed they managed to pull it off
Overall they don't think any less of Penny, mostly, it's in the past and she hasn't done anything nearly as dumb as that recently and seems remorseful over it
Meeting Ezra would be a DISASTER however
Penny tries to explain to Ezra that these are her friends so he doesn’t need to worry about them
He’s protective of her tho so he’s still suspicious
He hates Ocean so much, like she walks into the room and he immediately knows he’s not going to like her, he finds her condescending, it takes months for him to be able to tolerate her (I love Ocean but the Lamb siblings would hate her)
He absolutely terrifies Constance, he doesn’t do much to scare her but he reminds her of Jane and he also spends a lot of the time just staring at her
Penny tries to explain that that’s just something he does but it doesn’t help
He is suspicious of Mischa’s bad boy persona, but trusts Penny’s judgement, he just watches him from a distance
The only two members of the choir Ezra likes are Noel and Ricky, he likes Ricky’s creativity, and Noel’s shared love of darker aspects of life
He does try to sell them drugs, they refuse, Penny has everyone leave after that
Penny still thinks it went well despite everything, most of the choir are terrified of this intense 14 year old
I just think the Legoland version of the characters would make everything 10x more chaotic and make the choir look sensible for once.
#ride the cyclone#rtc headcanons#this is my first time trying something like this so if its a bit ooc im sorry#hopefully this is okay tho!
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bc i’m feeling a little depressed and not in a funky way i will say random stuff about connie/laone
- connie was originally just a character that was going to be the reason why aaron knows all his irene stuff. the og concept was that aaron ran into connie who was an irene fanatic (a rival to zane’s fanaticism) that went around studying his whole life about her. they bump into each other a couple months after the falcon claw massacre, get cursed and have to spend two years searching for the counter for the curse while aaron absorbs all of connie’s information and even helps him in discovering how to get to irene’s dimension, therefore discovering zane’s actual plans. unfortunately, connie ends up dying half a year before the events of mcd before the can find the counter for the curse- i never figured out how he dies but i always imagined it was sacrificing himself for his new friend, aka aaron.
- originally, constantine was supposed to have feelings for aaron but never went through with it because aaron just lost everyone he loved, he wouldn’t do that to him. aaron could’ve developed feelings strong enough to be romantic but he ended up losing connie by the time he could’ve realized his own feelings.
- now. i changed connie’s involvement with the main plot to be more relevant bc im a selfish mf who loves pairing up my oc’s w/ canon characters lmao.
- but then i said what if connie actually didn’t die and comes back... during s3 that i never watched? so.... after aaron dies. and then i realized if connie and aaron are gna be involved why not just go the whole way and do a thing with constantine and shad?
- THIS IS WHERE LAONE COMES IN. i’ve made my oc involved with the divine warriors fuck YEAH.
- laone is the og, the first constantine. his thing is that he was also sort of a divine warrior fan. a big fan of the divine warriors when they were around.
- if you genuinely pay attention my older posts, you’d know that i planned on making azazel (aka shad but renamed) more of a alumni? to irene instead of an equal. the reason why is so fucking complicated but here’s the general gist of it
- BUT YES. anyway- laone was sort of this kid who was a total fan of the divine warriors to the point where he kinda became this sort of nuisance that followed them around and always managed to be around them no matter where they were? he wanted to be a divine warrior but he didn’t.. have anything that made him special.
- so when this new kid, azazel came around claiming to be irene’s pupil, you can tell how well these two got along.
- laone wanted to be useful to the divine warriors, he even offered to be more of a squire, to take care of their traveling rations or clean their weapons and armor, but the divine warriors wouldn’t do that to some scrawny 15 y/o. and so, laone decided why not gain a part of the team by being smart? he was always able to memorize things well, just like he memorized everyone’s habits, their favorite food and how the liked to sleep- and so he worked hard to get every detail of every monster, herb, plant so that he can truly be useful.
- originally he wasn’t really a studious kid, he wanted to be like the diivne warriors, fighting the bad guys and saving the innocent, however he came to enjoy holding information and coming up with ideas as well as a multitude of other useful skills such as alchemy and other things that require big brain (??). tldr; laone realized he’s a fucking genius
- by the time laone feels that he’s useful to the div warriors, they’ve kinda... gotten used to him since they could never seem to get rid of this kid. so he does become part of the group (sorta) but he’s never allowed close to combat (but he still shoves himself in there bc he’s fucking stupid)
- while laone is on his journey to being a nerd, he starts getting along with azazel. they kinda just bond bc 1. they’re both the only ones around who are the same age 2. they’re pretty much stuck to tgether because of this and 3. they realize that ‘this asshole’s not that fucking annoying’
- one thing i really want to do, is that after they become really close is that they kinda make this promise to stay close or to stay together in every life they go through and i really want to reflect that through aaron and connie (even though azazel/shad technically isn’t dead) aka they’re soulmates bc of a promise they made as laone and azazel
- btw they’re totally in love they just never realized until it was too late
- whatever happens to azazel and laone with the whole azazel vs the divine warriors i’m still heavily debating, i genuinely don’t know. i have a lot of ideas circling about it, like perhaps azazel loses laone because he experimented and got himself stuck in a different domain or laone just actually dies.
- what i do know is that i don’t want azazel’s spiral to be only because of laone. the main reason why azazel goes apeshit is because he learns the real reason why irene kept him around and that’s the catalyst for the rift between him and the divine warriors
- either laone dies or disappears during the war and honestly it’s hard for me to make a decision
- but tldr; im being self indulgent >:]
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Good Ending/Reunion AU
(daddy issuesn't AU)
Chapter 6
Au by: @future--ghost
Name and Help by: @iheardasimplesong
TW: Alcohol and Alcoholic beverages and Drinking
THIS IS A WHOLESOME FATHER SON BONDING STORY because I do not have a father
(Dark Cacao is purple Dark Choco is red)
It was finally the day of that public event, apparently it's to celebrate getting closer to peace on Earthbread. In all honesty when Dark Choco read about it he thought it sounded like more of a party than a public event, but both could be used so he didn't pay mind. To Dark Choco this event was stupid, there wouldn't ever truly be "peace" on Earthbread, possibly a temporary moment of harmony but true peace couldn't be achieved and last forever. There would always be someone who'd have sinister intentions and succeed in getting away with their plans. It wouldn't last so why celebrate it? Do they want to get their hopes up to then only be met with disappointment? Dark Choco realized that he didn't have the time to dissect this event, he just had to prepare for the day he had been dreading.
A few hours later when Dark Choco got to the event he decided to just wait a little bit away from the party and the noise. He just sipped on a root beer he got at the bar area. He was hoping his father wouldn't show so they wouldn't have to awkwardly communicate and Dark Choco really did not want to be reminded of all tension between the two of them. He looked around again and he saw his father. "Goddammit." he muttered to himself. "I'm just going to walk away and pretend like I never saw him-" Dark Choco turned around and was about to start walking until he was stopped by a firm grasp on his shoulder. "Where exactly do you think you're going?" Dark Cacao said. Dark Choco took a sip of his drink and said "I'm going to get more root beer." Dark Cacao stared at him. "Are you even old enough to consume drinks like that?" Dark Choco was confused he was well over the legal drinking age, heck he was 27! He just looked at his father with a blank expression and blinked a few times. "What? How old do you think I am exactly?" Dark Choco replied. "You're young! You shouldn't be drinking stuff like that!" Dark Cacao said sternly. Dark Choco was starting to get bored of such a conversation. "One, I'm well over the legal drinking age. And Two, if I'm spending several hours with you, I'm going to need more than one drink. End of conversation." Dark Choco replied with a hint of annoyance in his voice. Dark Choco didn't drink often, he was really only drinking because he was going to be bothered by his father all night and he was at what was basically a party so he drank for the heck of it.
At the bar area, Dark Cacao had one goal in mind, get his son to agree to rebuilding their relationship and also not to drink. Ever since the incident at the Pure Vanilla Kingdom during the Council of Heroes he was extremely opposed to even touching the stuff (I'm talking abt the drunk Cacao scene bc that was funny as hell). Dark Choco asked "Why don't you have a drink as well?" This caught Dark Cacao off guard, Dark Choco knew that he didn't drink, right? It could make you vulnerable and could cause problems. His son just stared at him, then look toward the bartender and said "May I have a drink for the person sitting next to me?" to the him. "Why would you-?" Dark Cacao tried to say before he was quickly cut off. "You don't have to drink it, just know the option is there." Dark Choco replied taking a sip of his own drink. "Why not anyways, to my knowledge everyone is supposed to be having a decent time so who cares if you have a drink or not." Dark Cacao had been given his drink and was unsure of what to do. He hated drinking but also he was given it by his son, it'd be rude to just decline. So right then and there Dark Cacao decided to drink the whole thing. Dark Choco stared at his father in confusion "what the fu-" his son had attempted to say be he interrupted him. "Watch your *hic* language, boy." He said drunkenly. "Wait, are you drunk after one drink? The king of the great warrior nation can't hold his liquor?" Dark Choco said teasing him with a smug expression. "Shut up, *hic* It's surprising that you can even *hic* drink!-" Dark Cacao said visibly embarrassed, he then realized something. He drank that willingly, he never drinks on purpose. The last time "he drank" was when Hollyberry forced him to. He zoned out for a second then quickly snapped back to reality, his son was staring at him. "We should probably get you something to clear your head of the alcohol..." Dark Choco said looking off into the distance. "I *hic know! Wait, no no I don't-" He said knowing he screwed up. "..." his son went silent "We don't need to get you anything I thought you would probably want to." His son looked unsure. "Well, *hic* you did say this was a party." He sighed "and that would mean I should *hic* probably set myself at ease." He muttered. Dark Cacao accidentally got another drink and drank it. "Mmmm, th-this *hic* water tastes weird..." He said, his speech slurred from the drinks. Dark Choco was visibly shaking, he held his head down and put his hand on his face. "Father, t-that wasn't w-water-" He attempted to say before bursting into laughter. Dark Cacao stared at him confused and a little irritated but also happy for some reason. "That was another drink, father." He finally said, you could tell he was still amused by his father's delusion.
At the end of the night, Dark Cacao was extremely drunk, he had 5 drinks. While they were walking Dark Cacao put his arm around his son's shoulder for support for walking. "This was *hic* fun!" Dark Cacao said with a look of content on his face. "I- *hic* missed you.." Dark Cacao muttered silently to himself. "That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." Dark Choco said "You're not as annoying as I thought." Dark Cacao stared at his son. "So you don't think I'm annoying!" Dark Cacao said happily. "No, I said you're not AS annoying as I thought you'd be, you're still annoying don't get me wrong but not THAT annoying" Dark Choco said seriously "*hic* You're so mean son!" Dark Cacao said drunkenly. "How about you try *hic* being nice to your father?" Dark Cacao exclaimed. Dark Choco went silent but continued walking.
After a few minutes Dark Choco broke the silence. "Where do you want me to bring you?" Dark Choco asked. "We're *hic* going to the Black Citadel." Dark Cacao responded. His son appeared to be annoyed, why would he be annoyed? His son was acting sort of weird, first he calls him less annoying than he thought, then he goes silent after Dark Cacao spoke, and now he looks annoyed at the mention of the Black Citadel. "You look deep in thought, what are you thinking about?" Dark Choco asked. Dark Cacao was startled by his son speaking all of a sudden. "You're acting *hic* weird!" Dark Cacao remarked. Dark Choco questioned, "How so?" "W-Well first of *hic* all, you called me le-less *hic* annoying!" "I said you weren't as annoying as I thought you would be, I expected you to be incredibly irritating and you weren't" "O-okay but why *hic* did you look annoyed when I said we were *hic* going to the Black C-Citadel?" "It's just going to be awkward." "Why *hic* is that?" Dark Choco stared at him, he looked irritated and confused. "Are you stupid? I've tried to kill you on several occasions, All of said occasions occurring at or near the Black Citadel. To top it all off, I'm bringing you there drunk. It's going to be extremely difficult to explain." Dark Choco sighed "I didn't intend to be rude I apologize." "I *hic* guess that makes sense" Dark Cacao said as he took his arm off of his son's shoulder. They continued to walk towards the Black Citadel. "Wait." Dark Choco said like he realized something. "What *hic* is it?" Dark Cacao inquired. "YOU COULD'VE WALKED NORMALLY THIS WHOLE TIME BUT INSTEAD YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T AND USED ME AS SUPPORT?!" Dark Choco snapped. "Yes, because *hic* I wanted to be closer to you." Dark Cacao remarked. Dark Cacao and his son went back and forth normally Dark Choco would argue while Dark Cacao would tease him. Until another cookie intercepted. "My King?"
It was Caramel Arrow Cookie, no wonder. They had gotten pretty close to the kingdom so it wasn't surprising. "What is it, I was in the middle of an important discussion" "I apologize my king! I had a question I wanted to ask you." "Regarding what exactly?" "Your son sir!" "... Could it wait?" "Yes, I'll ask you about it later so you can continue! Goodbye!" Caramel Arrow ran off towards the Black Citadel while Dark Cacao turned around and headed backwards towards his son. "*hic* Hi son!-" Dark Cacao managed to say before he was pushed against a tree. "What *hic* was that for!?" Dark Cacao snapped. "Cut the crap. I heard the way you were talking to Caramel Arrow. You're not drunk anymore, and being drunk doesn't go away in a second. So tell me, how long have you been pretending to be drunk." Dark Choco stared at him with a threatening gaze. He hadn't seen this side of his son before, sure he'd seen him trying to murder him but that was full on anger, this was different. It was like he was annoyed and managed to keep his cool so he could turn it into intimidation. "Language Dark Chocolate Cookie. Didn't I teach you not to say words like that?" Dark Cacao grinned. "Do you not like it when I say words like "Crap"?" Dark Choco taunted. "Yes, of course I dislike it. I taught you never to say those words. It's improper." Dark Cacao grumbled. "Crap is only mild profanity father." Dark Choco stated. "That doesn't matter, how long have you been pretending to be drunk." Dark Choco glared at him. "Probably since we were leaving the party and I asked if I could put my arm around your shoulder." "So you had no reason to do that?" "Not NO reason, I wanted to be close to you" Dark Choco dropped him. "You're an idiot." Dark Choco said crossing his arms and his head turned to face the other direction. "But?" Dark Cacao said smugly as he was getting up and brushing the dirt off of him. "You amuse me." He said looking at his father with a small smile. Dark Cacao was filled with joy, his wish to see his son smile came true. "It's getting quite late... W-Why don't you come home?" Dark Cacao faltered. "... You're quite insistent on that aren't you? I'll come with you." Dark Choco sighed. "Alright then, Let's go!" Dark Cacao grabbed his son's hand and dragged him towards the Black Citadel.
Author's Note: I could end it off here but I think I could probably continue the story to at least one or two more chapters? You guys can choose.
#cookie run#cookie run au#cookie run kingdom#cookie run kingdom au#crk#crk au#dark cacao#dark cacao au#dark cacao cookie#dark cacao cookie au#dark choco au#dark choco cookie au#dark choco#dark choco cookie#crk dark cacao cookie#dark cacao kingdom#caramel arrow cookie#tw: alcholism#alcohol#reunion au#good ending au#daddy issuesn't au
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What ARE your other XIV ships?
I don't' really have any npc/npc ships bc i just dont care that much if my ocs arent involved thats just how my brain works gjskbsflds but here's all my wol/oc ships:
K'oto is in a poly ship with Estinien, G'raha Tia, and Emet-Selch! It's not like a four-way thing where they're all together too it's just. They are three guys who happen to have the same boyfriend and all live together with him <3 They go on group dates and stuff but Emet excuses himself from cuddling and Other Such Activities that Estinien and G'raha like each other enough to let overlap unless it's solo time with K'oto bc he's literally only alive rn for him he could possibly not be less interested in everyone else!!! but aside from occasionally butting heads with G'raha out of habit he's nice enough to them when they have to interact bc he knows K'oto will be sad if he's mean </3 he is married to Emet and G'raha but he and Estinien are chill staying as just partners, Estinien doesn't really care about marriage or putting labels on their relationship it's just not his thing and thats ok <3
Eme is shipped with and married to Urianger, but was involved in a will-they-wont-they mutual "unrequited" love thing with Haurchefant where they both thought they weren't good enough for the other and so never took initiative and then......it was too late </3 if not for That though she would have married him but bc soulmate stuff she would have still fallen for Urianger eventually and they would've become a poly thing bc I hate making choices and writing breakups and also why would they break up. If you asked me to pick two guys in this game who wouldnt mind sharing a wife it'd be them! She and Urianger are also kinda. Open. Y'shtola sometimes Joins them as a third but it's purely physical, and I maybe sort of kind of have been tossing around the same thing with Estinien lately. I had a weird shower thought about Eme pursuing him to cope after the Vault that turned into 'ok yeah maybe not that early but after 7 years of watching him grow into the weirdest most pathetic quirked up elezen man imaginable she might kinda want him' but again. only physical. The only ppl she's been in love with are Urianger and Haurchefant. She's one of those "likes every kind of girl and one specific kind of guy" bisexuals
Adem is shipped with Erenville and they're just kinda vibing :) not married yet but they will be eventually....they travel the world together when Adem isn't busy with his goldsmithing apprenticeship under Godbert or Studium work! Adem is very stupid and nervous all the time but Erenville finds it SO hot. Trip and stutter more boy it's only making him want you more! Truly failing upwards
and then Coconut is shipped with and married to Thancred though it's only as of the end of 6.0 that things have really settled down for them, it's been a rough 7 years what with Thancred being. Thancred. Spent a long time cheating on her even once they'd made things official following the praetorium where he promised to be better for her......then kept doing it and even ditched her at the banquet for another girl after promising he'd be there to spend time with her then she thought he DIED.....then he came back and promised once again he'd be better......then the truth about minfilia came around and he got really pissy and started acting like a dick 24/7 and also STILL flirting.....etc etc etc until late shb where she reached her breaking point watching him treat Ryne like shit and also continue treating HER like shit so she broke up with him.....at the end of 5.0 tho he tried to propose and made his grandest most sincere apology yet and even though she took him back for one more chance she rejected his proposal bc she needed time to see that he was serious before that.....they were married.....then he did good for all of 6.0 and they got married in the 6.0-6.1 1 year timeskip :) things are good as of right now.......only time will tell how he'll do in dt. king of fumbling, thancred waters
#words of mimi#ocs#koto tia#eme#adem#coconut#emetkoto#estinikoto#grahakoto#emeanger#haurcheme#ademville#thancoco
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tomorrow tonight
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pairing: seungcheol x fem!reader
genre: angst, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, mutual pining
word count: 20.8k (ha ha buckle in)
warnings: divorce, implied sexual activities (but no smut), profanity
a/n: it’s here!! first, i want to say thank you all for your interest in this fic; it was truly unexpected, but your support motivated me to finish this after months of sitting on it with no clue as to which direction i wanted this to go. this started roughly three months ago when i started watching thirty nine (which i finished last night btw; go watch it if you’re into sad stuff), and also listening to loote’s song of the same name! smth abt tomorrow tonight + thirty nine angst made me want to write this sadness so...yeah. i truly did not anticipate this being my longest fic to date at 20k words, but here she is :’) thank you to @gyukult and @twogyuu for beta reading this bc i was too tired to re-read it myself LOL @_@ i hope you all enjoy it, and as always, please be sure to leave your feedback via reblogs/replies/asks!! <3 enjoy !!
tag list: @itaewonsquad97 @yeosangsbiceps @haoraecane @dontflailmenow @flwrsol @blackswann-53098 @yjhdaily @kpopjackie @letskookandbaek @lovelywoo @chanreads @xmessaroundx @romromthedeer @soobin-chois @qy61 @chwebychew @ahgastayzen (if i missed you, i am SO sorry T-T)
my masterlist ＼ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ／
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“Hey, jackass. You’re gonna catch a cold.”
Your voice filled the empty night air, crude words accompanied by the chilling winter wind. He was facing away from you, his back hunched over as he sat on the carousel in the children’s park outside your apartment. Even under the poorly-lit street lamps, you recognized the back of his head: the way his hair—cut close to his nape—faded into his skin, and how his white, cotton button-down shirt hugged his wide back as he rested his elbows on his knees. He was rubbing his palms together, his breath visible in the night as he tried to warm himself.
Dipshit, you thought to yourself. It was below freezing and he was out here without a jacket.
He turned around to greet you with a smile, though it wasn’t the same cocky grin he usually gave you when you called him unpleasant names. This one was different. It was… sad. Given the way his hair was tousled, you could guess he had probably gone drinking with his coworkers before he came to see you.
“What’s up?” you asked, dropping the black plastic bag in his lap as you sat down next to him.
“How was work?” he replied, answering your question with a question, something he knew you hated but still did anyway.
“Fine. Same ol’, same ol’, ya know?” You stuck your hand in the bag and pulled out a cold beer; you had stopped at the convenience store just a couple minutes away and grabbed some drinks and snacks, figuring Seungcheol probably wouldn’t mind considering how much the man usually drank. Besides, you had been spending long days at the office this past week finishing a project for a VIP which didn’t give you much time or energy to cook at home, so this was your next best option. Looping your finger through the pull tab, the can opened with a satisfying hiss. Seungcheol followed suit with his can of beer, raising it to tap against yours before the two of you took huge gulps, each finishing with a loud, content sigh.
“Oh?” Seungcheol moved his face to inspect the can closer. “How did you know this was my favorite?”
He chuckled when he saw the incredulous look on your face, the way your eyebrows seemed to go in different directions with your mouth slightly agape at such a dumb question.
“You act like we haven’t been friends for a long time, stupid.” Of course you knew his favorite beer, but that begged the question: did he know yours?
“Best friends,” he corrected you, which warranted a loud smack on his arm. He winced, and despite being a big boy with big, beefy arms, the impact you made caused his arm to sting. This time, it was your turn to laugh at the man rubbing the spot where you had hit him.
Reaching your hand into the bag again, you pulled out a triangle kimchi tuna kimbap. Seungcheol snorted. No matter how much time passed, you were just too predictable. He grabbed the kimbap from you, tugging on the tab and expertly freeing the plastic from around the seaweed. He handed it back to you, your dumbfounded face causing him to snicker even more.
“You’re like a fucking magician,” you muttered. Even your reaction to him unraveling the snack for you never changed, reminiscent of the very first time you two met.
He had found you sitting outside a convenience store in elementary school, eyes puffy from crying about who knows what, a discombobulated mess of rice and seaweed on the table in front of you. Seungcheol, even as a young child, was always considerate, so he had gone inside, bought another kimbap, and brought it out to you. You weren’t sure who this strange boy was, but the thought of trying to open another kimbap frustrated you to the point of tears—again.
In a panic, he swiped it from you, urging you to quiet down so passersby would stop staring. The crinkling of the plastic was enough to spur your curiosity as you watched him move swiftly, pulling it apart with ease.
“Here,” he had said, his voice octaves higher than it was now. He had watched you fondly as you devoured the snack, your cheeks full and a smile gracing your lips.
Not a lot had changed since then, especially that warm smile of yours that brought him comfort after a long day. He chuckled as you shoved the rice into your mouth, the seaweed producing a gratifying crunch as you bit down.
“You don’t change, do you?”
“What? I’m starving,” you said.
“They don’t feed you at work?”
You shook your head. “Honestly, when I’m in the zone, I forget that I’m hungry until I leave.”
“You need to take care of yourself,” he nagged.
“I do. I just sometimes forget to eat. It’s no big deal.”
Cheol took another swig of his beer, the cold liquid contrasting the burn of the alcohol as it went down his throat. “It’s no big deal until you get sick.”
“Okay, Dad,” you sneered. “Geez. I’m eating now, so it’s fine.”
Seungcheol gave you the look, and you groaned. When his eyebrows furrowed the way that they did, you knew he was going to lecture you. Part of you appreciated how much he cared about you, but sometimes it was too much. You had moved to the city to get away from your own nagging mother only to be accompanied by another nagging parent. “Don’t tell me you’ve been eating like this?” He took your silence as an answer and continued, “You need to eat real food.”
“Well, I don’t think this is imaginary,” you quipped.
“I don’t need your sarcasm. I’m serious.”
“Cheol, I’m fine. Really.” Your limbs started to shake the longer the two of you sat outside. “Wanna come up for tea? Where it’s warm?”
“No, I probably shouldn’t,” he said, a sigh escaping his lips. “The wife is waiting for me at home.”
You cowered at the word. Even though he had been married for almost two years, it still sounded strange and unfamiliar coming from his mouth.
“I’ll call you, yeah?” He let out an aching groan as he stood up, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his pants.
You nodded, but it wasn’t like he saw you, his eyes already fixed on his BMW. You watched as he left you on the playground alone, his body disappearing as he entered his car and drove off. This wasn’t an unfamiliar sight for you: Seungcheol’s back as he walked away. In fact, it was a sight that you knew well.
All too well.
———
“You’re stupid, you know that?” Dahyun’s words were piercing, but it wasn’t the first time you’d heard that come from her sharp tongue. As a matter of fact, it was almost a daily occurrence, some variation of being “stupid,” “clueless,” “naive,” or whatever word she could find in her vocabulary brought up whenever you mentioned Seungcheol.
You stared ahead, your eyes preoccupied on the golden glow the light cast upon the bottles in front of you as the two of you sat at the bar on a Friday night. Dahyun’s glare could burn holes through your skull, but you paid her no attention, instead choosing to lift the glass of whiskey on the rocks to your lips. The smokey aroma hit your nose first as you braced for the impact of the harsh liquor on your tongue.
The first time you’d had it was in university—Seungcheol had somehow convinced you to come to his business club’s social mixer at the local bar everyone frequented. Even back then he had a wide frame that filled out his university jacket nicely, your school’s name embroidered across the back. He had excitedly introduced you to his club members and asked if you wanted anything to drink. Considering you’d had a midterm the following morning, you told him, “Just a coke,” but he had insisted you make it a jack and coke instead.
“You like that?” he had asked.
You nodded. “Yeah, it’s not bad. What are you drinking?”
“Just a whiskey. Neat.” Seungcheol had always been a goofy kid growing up, but when you two got to university, he had somehow grown into this handsome, charming man who you barely recognized. Nonetheless, he was still your best friend, and you were grateful he thought the same of you. Even then in the bar, you couldn’t miss the way some of his fellow club members ogled at him, but his attention was on you. “Want some?”
A sense of pride washed over you as you took his drink from his hands and drank from the same cup his lips touched, relishing in the jealousy of the other girls who wished they could be you.
The moment the liquid entered your mouth, you nearly spit it back out into his cup.
You hated whiskey.
Yet, you continued to drink it on certain nights because you wondered if that’s what his lips tasted like. If this was the closest you could get to him, then so be it.
“God, can’t you drink something besides whiskey? Or at least add some coke like a normal person.” The tone in her voice made it clear that she was fed up with your actions once again. Yet, despite her constant pestering, you were her best friend after all, and her concern came from a place of love. It saddened her to watch you make one mistake after the other, but what if you didn’t want her best intentions? “It’s disgusting. I don’t know how you drink that.”
“Worry about finishing your cocktail before you nag me about my drink,” you replied, taking another sip of the forsaken liquid.
“What’s up with her?” Another voice brought you out of your slight daze, your eyes moving to the bartender.
“She’s caught up on him,” Dahyun spoke for you, leaning back in the stool and pretending to examine her martini. She set the glass down and fiddled with the olive in the cup, her attention turning to the man in front of you both.
The bartender was wiping down a glass when he let out a quiet chuckle. “The childhood friend, right?”
“Vernon, please. I don’t need you involved in this, too.” Vernon was a college friend of yours and also the head bartender of this pub that you and Dahyun frequented. The latter swung her legs around on the stool to reposition herself to face Vernon, placing her head in her hands as she looked at him.
“She’s hopeless. Help me out, Vern,” she begged, batting her eyelashes at him.
Vernon blushed, his eyes skirting to the glass he had been wiping for the last five minutes. Dahyun made him shy, and you all knew that, but she didn’t care. He let out a huff of air through his nose, the corner of his lips turning up into a small smirk. “Look, I don’t want to get involved—”
“Then don’t,” you interrupted. You took another sip of the whiskey before swirling the golden drink around in the cup and observing the way it moved with elegance around the big block of ice.
“But,” he continued, “I do think you’re an addict.”
You looked up at him, puzzled by his choice of words. “A what?”
“You’re addicted to him.” It was irking how nonchalant he was as he set down the glass. He propped himself against the counter, the sleeves of his button-down rolled up just below his elbows, exposing his forearms.
“What the fuck?”
“He’s right,” Dahyun chimed in. You could see the lightbulb turn on in her head, and you were not ready for where she was going to take this. “He’s a drug you can’t quit.”
“He’s not a drug,” you argued. “He’s a human.”
“Ever heard of a metaphor?” she quipped back.
Ugh.
She took another sip of her drink before continuing, “Besides, he’s married.”
“Yes, we’ve established that.” You rolled your eyes.
“But you’re still caught up on him.”
The blood within your veins began to boil. “I’m not ‘caught up’ on him,” you disputed, throwing your fingers up to make air quotes. “He’s my best friend.”
“No, I’m your best friend. You’re in love with him.”
“I can have more than one best friend,” you argued back.
“Yeah, sure. But he’s not your best friend if you’re in love with him.”
“Why can’t it be both—” you caught yourself. Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
A shit-eating grin formed on Dahyun’s lips.
Check fucking mate.
“Look,” you began. Whatever came out of your mouth next, you knew neither Dahyun nor Vernon would believe you, but you’d give it a try anyway. “My friendship with him is more important than whatever feelings I have for him.”
“You’re telling me you’d rather suffer for the rest of your life if that means you don’t lose him?” Dahyun probed with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m not suffering.” Now, Dahyun knew you were lying by the way you refused to look into her eyes, your fingers fidgeting with your glass.
“You’re pathetic.”
You were used to the insults Dahyun threw your way, but this time, she meant what she said, and it pierced your heart knowing that this was what she thought of you. She chugged the remainder of her drink and slid the empty glass across the bar. “I’m going to go dance. Thanks for the drink, Vern.”
He nodded at her, watching her slink away to where the crowd of people were.
“Ouch.” You had completely forgotten about Vernon’s existence, typical of a guy like him who seldom had much to say. Even he knew that Dahyun’s words weren’t meant to be taken lightly, and he had to agree with her.
Even you agreed with her. You were pathetic—waiting around for someone who would never be yours, watching him love someone else, someone who wasn’t you, and despite all this, you continued to stick around like a lovesick fool.
So, yeah.
The word weighed heavy in your chest as you tapped the counter signaling to Vernon that you wanted another drink. He handed you another whiskey, the strong smell hitting your nose before you could even bring it to your lips. Instead of curiosity, a wave of nausea came over you instead.
Suddenly, whiskey didn’t seem so intriguing anymore.
———
It happened while you were trying to forget him.
They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. So, that’s what you did. And that’s how you found yourself under a stranger that night, someone who had offered to buy you a different drink when he saw that yours had gone untouched for a while.
Instead, he bought you a cosmopolitan, citing you might enjoy it more. And maybe it was a little presumptuous of him to assume such a thing, but you had to admit that it was certainly better than what you had been drinking all these years. It also made you feel giddier and more confident when the whiskey only made you feel sad, and maybe that was why you agreed to go home with him.
It felt good though, his skin against yours, just the two of you in the darkness of his bachelor pad. The way he moved was gentle and careful, as if somehow he knew you were in a fragile state of mind. He moved his hands to your waist, lifting your shirt so gingerly as he slotted his legs between yours, pushing them apart to make room for himself on the bed.
Your breathing grew heavy, and you closed your eyes. Suddenly, you were met with a familiar face: his frosty skin that contrasted his jet black hair, his long eyelashes that fluttered every time he blinked, those plump, whiskey lips that you so badly wanted to kiss—
“Seungcheol,” you gasped. The weight on your body was now gone and you opened your eyes.
Fuck. The man above you sure as hell wasn’t Seungcheol and he looked just as confused as you, if not more.
You hated to admit it, but Dahyun and Vernon were right: you were addicted.
“Shit. I am so sorry,” you blurted out.
“Look, I don’t know who this Sungchil—”
“Seungcheol,” you corrected.
“Sure, whatever,” he replied, waving you off. “I don’t know who he is, but let me be the one to show you a good time.” Without missing another beat, he planted his lips against your neck, but the mood was ruined and you couldn’t go a single second without thinking about your best friend. You had a problem and maybe this was the wake-up call you needed.
“Sorry, I don’t think I can do this.” You sat up and grabbed your things, fumbling in the darkness to hastily put your shoes on and get the fuck out of there.
The night was cold—freezing even—the brisk air nipping at your cheeks as you waited for a taxi to come. A lot had happened that night, and as you stood there, legs shaking, you made a decision.
You would quit Seungcheol.
For good.
———
Once upon a time, you and Seungcheol were terrible students: you would ditch class to go get rice cakes and sausage from the street vendor right outside the school, and when the bell rang, while most of your peers were rushing to get to cram school, the two of you would go to a nearby diner and dick around until the sun set.
Yet, despite your poor habits, you still ended up in the top ten students of your class and Seungcheol, well, let’s just say he was lucky to have such a smart friend like you. Though, none of that mattered in the end as you landed your dream job doing branding design and marketing at a renowned company, and he was the department manager for a food supply conglomerate. One look at you two, and everyone would think you had everything you could ever want. And while that was mostly true, there was one thing you wanted but could never have.
Your best friend.
You were busy typing out an email to a client, your finger aggressively clacking against the plastic keys. If someone heard you, they might think you were chewing someone out, but you were just a loud typer was all. Everyone had already left the office, and you were the last one there, the lights turning off slowly one-by-one. That was your sign to leave. As you were packing up, your phone vibrated on your desk.
1 new message from Cheollie.
2 new messages from Cheollie.
Your eyes glazed over the notification.
You desperately wanted to open the message, a selfish part of you hoping that maybe he would have some epiphany that you were the love of his life and that he’s so sorry it took him this long to realize.
No. He wouldn’t do that. He was married. He was happy. He was happy and married. You would never be the reason for his happiness.
But… what if…? Your face was illuminated by the blue light of your phone, your eyes squinting at the sudden brightness as the lights around you shut off for good. When you opened his message, your shoulders dropped.
Look at this guy LOL
[1 attachment]
You opened the message to find a photo of some guy wearing denim shorts, crocs, and a cowboy hat.
Dear god. Is this what the world has come to? You let out a chuckle, your head betraying your heart as you went to type a response.
You stopped yourself.
No. You shouldn’t. Replying to him would only open the door for conversation, which was the last thing you needed right now.
The road to healing was a long one, but you could do it if you put your mind to it. Or, at least that’s what you told yourself every morning. In the beginning, it was difficult not to respond to Seungcheol’s messages almost immediately or send him pictures of what you were eating for lunch and dinner. But as the days went on, it became a little bit easier, the temptation fizzling out as you responded to him late or left him on read.
At first, Seungcheol just assumed that it was because you were busy with work, but when he saw that the little ‘1’ by his message was gone and he still hadn’t received a response, that’s when he began to worry.
To say you were surprised to see him standing awkwardly outside your apartment with a plastic bag would be an understatement. And also completely unhelpful if you were going to quit him for good like you had claimed.
Yet, here he was, loitering in the cold, though this time, he was wearing his favorite maroon, Moncler puffer jacket. He was kicking the ground like a little child playing with the rocks around him until he saw your shadow. Your heart dropped when he looked up at you, his face beaming under the shitty light of your building.
“Hi,” he greeted you quietly.
“What are you doing here?”
“Geez, not even a ‘hi’ back?” he joked.
To be fair, you were still processing his sudden appearance in front of your house. Usually, he’d shoot you a text or a quick phone call to let you know he was coming. But tonight, he was here, completely unannounced because a part of him wondered if you’d ignore him if he tried to reach out, and he was too scared to find out.
So, here he was.
“Hi, Seungcheol,” you caved, the tone of your voice sounding more like an exasperated mother than someone excited to see their best friend. “What are you doing here?”
“I brought dalkgalbi and beer,” he replied, lifting the bag. You recognized the black chicken on the logo—your favorite restaurant. You’d be crazy to say no, so you just nodded your head towards the entrance as the two of you entered the building. Pressing the elevator button, you stood in silence as you ascended the eight stories it took to get to your apartment.
The path to your unit was second nature to Seungcheol—he had spent many of his days at your place even before he had gotten married. He even knew your passcode to get in, expertly entering the numbers as if he was the one who lived there and not you.
Quitting him would be a lot harder than you thought.
You sat on your couch, unpacking the bag while he moved effortlessly in your kitchen, from grabbing plates and utensils to filling up the water pitcher like it was second nature. You had lived in this apartment since college, and Seungcheol spent most, if not all, of his days there with you like it was his own home. You even had a spare blanket and pillow for him and, not to mention, the spare toothbrush you kept for him in the cup on your bathroom sink. Once upon a time, he had a pair of slippers there, too, and your mom would often mistake them for your boyfriend’s.
“They’re not my boyfriend’s,” you’d painstakingly correct her, though you had wished they were.
If Dahyun had been longing for her best friend who was married, you would have called her pathetic, too. The more you thought back to that night at the bar and that stranger’s home, the throbbing in your head grew worse.
“What happened here?” he asked, setting everything down on the table in front of you. Your apartment was in complete disarray, random pieces of paper scattered here and there, about three loads of laundry were piled on your couch. For the past few weeks, you had been so busy at work that you rarely had energy to clean or put clothes away, so in the mornings, you’d pick the least wrinkled articles and throw those on for the day, swearing you’d put everything away when you came home that night. But you never did.
“Work’s kept me busy,” you stated, opening the containers of spicy stir-fried chicken covered in mounds of mozzarella cheese. The spice was the first to hit your nose, and you embraced its warmth briefly before digging in with your chopsticks. Seungcheol watched you fondly, a never-ending string of cheese stretching from the container to your mouth.
“Here,” he motioned, handing you a sizable portion wrapped in lettuce. You didn’t grab the wrap from him, instead just opening your mouth and biting a huge chunk off. The spice of the sauce was cleanly contrasted by the lettuce and the pickled radish that he had put inside for you. Continuing to munch on the dinner, you opened the can of beer and poured it into the glasses Seungcheol had gotten earlier.
“Thanks,” you said as you chewed, huffing from the heat and spice of the meat.
Seungcheol quirked his eyebrow at you, slightly aghast at the sight of your stuffed cheeks. “Finish eating before you speak,” he scolded, using a napkin to wipe the sauce from the corner of your mouth. It was the little things like this that always made your heart flutter, but when he was always nagging you, a part of you wondered if maybe Seungcheol saw you more as a little sister instead of as a woman.
“You never answered my question,” you prodded, your eyes zeroing in on the shiny metal on his finger. He froze, pulling his hand away from you.
“What, I can’t visit my friend?”
“You can, but you usually call.”
Honestly, Seungcheol didn’t have a good enough excuse other than, “I forgot.”
Deciding not to interrogate him any further, you accepted his response and moved on. “Thanks for dinner.”
“Yeah, of course. Anything for you.” And there it was again. Those killer words and actions that sliced and punctured your heart, slowly wearing it away until there was nothing left but bits and pieces. He was making this really difficult, but you were steadfast in your resolution: after tonight, you would quit him no matter what.
For the remainder of the evening, you and Seungcheol cleared out the dakgalbi and several cans of beer while watching the latest episode of Thirty-Nine. It was common for you both to watch TV shows and movies together; though he was known for his intimidating look and build, Seungcheol had quite the affinity for romance movies and shows. In college, you would sometimes skip the parties and spend the night watching rom-coms instead. It was almost like a tradition for you two to have a marathon when you felt too lazy to do anything or felt that you “deserved” it after submitting your midterms and finals.
You didn’t know this, but that was one of his favorite things to do with you until you started dating Yanan, a generally sweet guy, but he had a tendency for jealousy, and so your movie nights became more scarce. Seungcheol and Yanan never got along; Yanan didn’t like that your closest friend was a guy, and Seungcheol didn’t like that the closest guy to you wasn’t him. When the two of them were together, it was a constant competition for your attention.
Yanan was your standard, run-of-the-mill guy from the countryside: gentlemanly, sweet, and he always looked out for you. You felt protected when you stood next to him. It didn’t help that he was also tall with broad shoulders (thanks to his history as a swimmer), and he had the kind of smile that lit up the whole room, that cheesy, Taylor-Swift-lyrics type of smile that was contagious. You were happy with Yanan.
For a while. Those once saccharine smiles turned sour, and you had found yourself arguing with him almost daily. The problem?
Seungcheol.
Yanan had had enough of your friendship with him, forcing you to choose between your boyfriend and your best friend. And though you thought you loved Yanan, you were absolutely sure you loved Seungcheol too much to just throw away your friendship for a guy.
Coincidentally, Seungcheol started dating Sookyung around this time; you were happy for him—of course you were—but you weren’t immune to the little green monster’s poison that seeped through your veins. Just like Seungcheol had seen less and less of you when you were with Yanan, the two of you didn’t seem to have many moments to be alone anymore.
Sookyung was sweet, like, truly, genuinely the sweetest person you’d ever known. She was kind and beautiful and had long, brown tresses that swayed with her body when she moved. And most importantly? She made Seungcheol happy. When he introduced her to you, you wanted to find a reason, any reason, to dislike her, but she was flawless. When you swore like a sailor and sat with your legs wide open, she would cover her mouth when she laughed, her legs crossed like a proper lady.
You were one of the boys, and she was Seungcheol’s girl. Still, you clung onto the hope that maybe they’d break up, and maybe you would have your best friend back.
That never happened.
What did happen, though, was the worst day of your life—the day Seungcheol got on one knee and pulled out a sparkly diamond ring, the words, “Will you marry me?” sounding like a foreign language coming out of his mouth.
And lucky you, you got to be there for the supposedly joyous moment, but instead, your whole world had just shattered. Perhaps even worse than the proposal, worse than Sookyung saying “yes,” was when Seungcheol asked you to be his fiancée’s bridesmaid. What were you going to say? No?
And so you, being the infatuated fool that you were, agreed, saying the little word that was so simple, yet so devastating. “Yes,” you had told him. “Absolutely. I’ll do it. Anything for you.”
Anything.
To be fair, you thought maybe by then you’d be over him, dating someone else, someone who made you not just happy but happier. As if your life couldn’t fall apart any more than it already had, you were also heavily involved in the wedding planning process. Sookyung always asked you to help with this and that because she and Seungcheol “trusted your eye for design.” Curse your artistic gifts—you never thought they’d bite you in the ass like this. Yet, you obliged, going to cake tastings, helping Sookyung pick out linens, and lending a hand in arranging the florist and caterers. Hell, you were practically their wedding planner.
And what sealed your fate was the day you went wedding dress shopping with Sookyung. You wondered if maybe one day that would be you standing on the stage, mirrors and loved ones surrounding you while you evaluated the white gown on your body, clipped in the back to fit you.
She was stunning.
Stepping out of the fitting room with an ecstatic fitting assistant, Sookyung looked effortlessly beautiful in the lace gown, tulle draping down her sides in a stunning A-line silhouette. You were breathless looking at her, and you understood then, in that moment, why anyone loved her—why Seungcheol loved her. If this was the effect she had on you, you could only imagine how your best friend would feel seeing her walk down the aisle, and lucky you, you were going to be the one to bear witness to it all.
“Well,” Seungcheol spoke, grunting as he stood up to throw away your trash, “guess it’s time to go home.”
You looked at the clock. 11:48 PM. It had been a while since he had been over this late, and you hadn’t realized how much time passed in your daze.
“You should tell Sookyung to come over for dinner one of these days,” you proposed, though your words were a bit empty.
“Yeah.” There was a pause, as if he was searching for the right thing to say. “I will.”
He made his way to the sink, ready to wash the utensils, but you stopped him. “I’ll do them. Go home.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. It’s late.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
You watched him put on his sneakers, that all-too-familiar view of his back haunting you. He let out a deep sigh as he stood up again, turning to look at you. There was a fond look in his eyes as he pressed his lips into a tight smile, causing a dimple to form in his cheek.
The thing about Seungcheol was that he hated goodbyes, and so he never said them to you. To him, goodbyes meant the end, and your friendship was forever. He was a firm believer in that stupid saying, “It’s not ‘goodbye,’ it’s ‘see you later,’” and as cheesy as it was, you obliged him, never saying “goodbye” to him either.
“I’ll call you,” he said before turning to go down the hall where the elevators were.
“Good, dickhead.”
He let out a hearty laugh. Regardless of how crude your words were, they brought a level of comfort to him. You waved at him until he was no longer in your sight.
Goodbye, Seungcheol.
———
“Are you going to take it?” Dahyun exclaimed, grasping your hand in both of hers.
“That’s if I pass the interview first,” you replied with nonchalance, taking a sip of your cosmo.
“Of course you’re going to pass the interview. You’re going to get it, dummy. No one deserves that job more than you.”
You hoped Dahyun was right. You had been with your marketing company for the past four years, and an opening for a manager position had become available. The only catch was that you’d have to move two hours outside of the city, but maybe that’s exactly what you needed. With him out of sight, he’d certainly be out of mind, and quitting would become easier than it was now.
“You’re moving?” Vernon asked.
“Hi, Vern,” Dahyun said with a sly smile. You watched the bartender’s ears turn red as he nodded at her in return but turned his attention back to you. “Yes, she is.”
“I don’t know yet. Maybe,” you corrected her.
“Does this have anything to do with your friend?” he interrogated.
“No.”
Vernon shot you a pointed look.
“Maybe.” You chugged the remainder of the vodka in your glass, the alcohol burning your throat as it went down, warming your body from within.
The following morning, you packed your bags and threw them into the back of your shabby Honda Accord—though it was old, you could always trust it to get you where you needed to be. You had taken a few days off from work to go to this interview; you needed a break, and maybe a couple extra days would help you prepare for this interview and, most importantly, clear your mind from everything that was plaguing you.
It was only a three-day trip, but you were excited to get away and even potentially land this job—if not, maybe it was time for you to find a different company. Regardless of what happened, it was a much-needed break. In the days prior, you had made a sort of “breakup” playlist even though technically you and Seungcheol had never been together, but maybe blasting songs about how you deserved better would actually trick you into thinking such a thing.
You deserved to be someone’s first choice—not their second—and you kept telling yourself this during your drive, the road to your hotel seemingly never ending. You pulled up outside a large building; the company had paid for you to stay here, and you were thankful for it. Despite your current pay grade, you were still a bit of a cheapskate, and if it had been up to you, you’d have booked a cheaper place, but this wasn’t your money, so you didn’t care.
After you checked in, you were given a balcony room on the eighth floor with a view of the river. The floors were a clean, white tile, and it was a large, spacious room, one that was much too big for a single person, but again, it wasn’t your money, and you weren’t about to complain. You had a couple days before your interview, and despite being in a new city, all you really wanted to do was, well, nothing. You opened your maps app and looked for nearby restaurants and things to do—someone had recommended a walk by the river, and given your current view, it didn’t seem to be too far away. A long walk along the river sounded perfect.
It was the best decision you had made—even though the weather was below freezing, the walk was refreshing, and you realized that you hadn’t had much time to stretch your legs these days. Your job required you to be glued to your desk and chair nearly 24/7, and you couldn’t find it in you to make time to go to the gym.
Sometimes, life was better when you didn’t have a plan, so you decided just to walk wherever your legs would take you, only checking your phone in case someone texted or called you about the job. The frigid air bit the skin on your cheeks, which made you stuff your face deeper into your coat, your hands shoved into the depths of your pockets, but this was a pain you preferred to the other one you felt in your heart. Not many people were out right now; most people, you assumed, were staying warm in the comforts of their home instead of taking walks along the river in glacial temperatures.
When your legs began to grow sore and the muscles in your knees tightened, you decided that it was best for you to return to your hotel before you became too tired. The door unlocked after a melodic beep, and you immediately collapsed onto the bed, hoping the comforter would swallow you whole. The fabric was cool against your face as you stared blankly at the wall pondering your life—how did you get here, being hopelessly in love with your best friend? What would have happened if you had just told him no? If you had just quit him early on? Maybe you would have been much happier than you were now instead of running away from your problems.
Hunger prevailed as your stomach growled; the prior walk had taken too much out of you that you decided you would just go down to the convenience store right outside the hotel and grab some ramen and maybe a couple cans of beer. A smart person wouldn’t have been so lazy and would have explored the area that they might be moving to, but a smart person also wouldn’t have been in love with their best friend or agreed to be his wife’s bridesmaid or secretly wish for him to divorce said wife.
But hey, you weren’t a genius. Nor were you a saint. You knew this, yet you still hated yourself for feeling this way, but at the same time, no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t let go of your feelings for Seungcheol.
You shook your head.
No.
You wouldn’t think of him while you were gone. Out of sight, out of mind. That was how the saying went, right?
Closing your eyes, you let the harsh hotel light seep through your eyelids. Just then, your brief moment of peace was disturbed by the sound of your phone ringing.
Speak of the fucking devil.
You unlocked your phone and sat up.
“Hey,” you said, trying your best to sound enthusiastic.
Cheollie wants to turn on video.
Accept?
Accept.
“Where are you? You home?”
“No, I’m… out of town.”
“For what?”
“Business meeting.” Obviously, that was a lie. You were interviewing for the manager position, and if you got it, you’d be moving out here for the foreseeable future. He didn’t have to know that, though.
“Oh. Nearby?”
“Ish?”
“Give me a room tour.”
“Okay.”
You flipped the camera around and showed him the room the company had booked for you—a Premium Deluxe Queen Suite with a Balcony and View of the River. It was pretty fucking nice and you were thankful your boss was onboard with letting you come for four days instead of two.
“Damn, luxury living,” Seungcheol drawled out.
“I know, isn’t this shit nice?”
“For a meeting? When did they start rolling in money?”
“Gotta thank those angel investors for believing in us.”
“Are you eating well?”
“Yeah.”
“Really?”
“Yes, Cheol. What are you? My mother?” Your voice was starting to sound defensive, even you knew this, but you couldn’t help it.
“You’re not eating ramen and beer are you?”
You paused, eyeing the cups and cans on your bedside table. Maybe he wouldn’t notice.
“What’s the address of the hotel you’re staying at?”
“Why?”
“I’m gonna order you delivery.”
“I’m fine—”
“Address. Now.” You groaned and sent him your location over messages. “Room number?”
“808.”
“Okay.”
“You’re not getting delivery now, are you? I’m about to eat.”
“No, but expect it tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
Tomorrow came when you opened your eyes, the sunlight barely able to come through those blackout curtains of the hotel. Propping yourself up, you checked your phone.
Have a good conference :)
It was actually irritating how supportive Seungcheol was, but you guessed that’s what best friends were supposed to do. Be supportive and not fall in love with each other. Maybe you should take note of that.
You murmured self-affirmations to yourself as you craned your neck towards the mirror, pulling the mascara wand up and away from your lashes to give them some length and volume. To pull your look together, you picked your favorite lip tint, a classy and chic mauve that looked natural but put together.
Taking one last look at yourself in the mirror, you adjusted your grey blazer and matching trousers and slipped your feet into your black block heels—you were going to make today your bitch.
Your interview process was split into two sessions throughout the day: a group session in the morning and a solo interview in the afternoon. Despite your nerves and anxiety, when you arrived at the conference rooms of the building, a sudden burst of confidence surged through your veins, invigorating your spirit with such electricity that you nearly blacked out from the adrenaline rush.
To say that you thought the day went well would be an understatement, and what better way to celebrate a good day than with some ramen and beer. The bell above the 7-Eleven door chimed as you nearly slammed it against the wall from excitement, whistling while your eyes scanned the various types of alcohol on display in the cooler.
Cass, Heineken, Corona, BudLight, Hite, soju, makgeolli, sake, red wine, white wine.
Hmm. Rosé seemed good. Maybe that and… peach soju, and… a Cass beer. It was a recipe for disaster, but you had two full days to recover before you had to head back to the city anyway. And you couldn’t drink on an empty stomach, so you grabbed several triangle kimbaps from the counter and threw them in your basket as well.
Yeah, this was good, you thought to yourself, already feeling drunk on the thought of what the future would bring despite not having had a single sip of your alcohol yet.
When you returned to your hotel, you turned the shower on, steam fogging up the glass immediately. You would have a relaxing shower and let your drinks cool a bit before spending the night drinking and watching whatever movies the hotel had to offer on the TV.
The hot water warmed your skin and soothed your muscles; they had been aching all day, but you hadn’t noticed the pain in all your elation. The shampoo and conditioner smelled of jasmine, tangerines, and eucalyptus, which only alleviated your senses further.
After your shower, you threw on the gratuitous robe the hotel offered, wrapped your hair up in your towel, and put the slippers—also complimentary— on to live your best, luxurious life. In all the buzz and enthusiasm, you had completely forgotten about Seungcheol’s promise of ordering delivery, that was, until you got another text from him.
How do you feel about steak tacos?
i’m more of a carnitas gal
Done.
Within the hour, there was a knock on the door—presumably your delivery—but to your surprise, your best friend (whom, mind you, you were trying to quit) was standing outside your hotel door, two plastic bags lifted above his head as he barged into your room without another word.
“I thought you were ordering delivery,” you inquired, pulling the robe over your chest. You tried your best to hide the fact that you were completely naked underneath the white fabric, covertly grabbing your pajamas and underwear from the bed before sneaking into the bathroom to change. Fortunately, he had his back to you while he unpacked the food.
“I am the delivery,” he replied cheekily. God, you hated him right now, but the smell of those tacos were more enticing than your supposed hatred for your best friend.
“What are you doing here?” You stepped out, hands hurriedly drying your hair with your towel, though really you were hiding your anxiety.
“I’m not allowed to hang out with my best friend?”
“I’m just…” you paused, contemplating the right words to say. Devastated? Upset? Shocked? What word could really capture the way you were feeling right then and there?
“…surprised to see you.”
“Good, my plan worked,” he said, placing the bags on the spare space of the marble counter in your room. Pulling out the food, as well as several cans of beer, he looked at you with accomplishment. “Carnitas for the lady, steak for me.”
For the lady. In an alternate universe, ‘lady’ would imply that you were his lady, not just some word that wrung your heart dry like a towel. How in the world were you supposed to get over him when he was doing shit like this? Even then, you didn’t have the heart to turn him away, let alone be honest about the way he made you feel.
No.
He could never know.
It was better for everyone that your secret stayed exactly that—a secret. Sure, maybe Vernon and Dahyun knew, but that was enough because you knew that they weren’t children who would spread something like that without your permission.
“Dig in,” Seungcheol said, his eyes watching you with anticipation.
Eagerly, you picked up the taco, the aroma quickly filling your hotel room. The warmth of the tortilla and crispy pork was delicious as it melted in your mouth, contrasted by the cool, crunchy texture of the pico de gallo. Everything about this moment was perfect, again, minus the fact that the man you were in love with was married, the silver ring on his left hand glistening under the luminous hotel lights.
Sitting on your bed with him now reminded you of the days before your lives got complicated, the days when you would spend just about every waking moment together. Especially after your father passed away, Seungcheol would always take care of you, unwrapping your triangle kimbaps and poking straws through the aluminum lid of banana milks. Back then, the only thing you two were really worried about was if you had enough crumpled bills in the pockets of your uniforms for snacks after school. You didn’t know what love was or what it felt like to be consumed by a poisonous jealousy that would eat away at your soul for years on end.
Back then, things were simple.
“Hey!” Seungcheol yelled out as you took a bite of your next taco. “Be careful, you’re going to get oil on the bed sheets, and then they’ll charge you extra.”
“You act like I can’t afford to pay for an extra dry cleaning service.”
“That’s not the point,” he nagged. He always nagged. Always. Whether it was about making sure you had your homework and pencils, or about the way you ate, he was always nagging. But a part of you liked it since you knew he only did it because he cared.
Would he always care about you this way? It wasn’t a complex question, but the answer wasn’t so simple. What would happen when he left? Not just the hotel, but your life? When he and Sookyung would announce that they’re having their first child? Or their second? Third? Would he still make sure you were wiping your mouth? Would he still open triangle kimbap for you? Make sure all your banana milks had a straw through the lid?
“Are you happy?”
You were in the middle of a bite when his question threw you off guard; were you?
Even if you were breaking from the inside out, even if you were suffering through one of the most painful heartbreaks in your life, he could never know that you were unhappy nor that he was the cause of it. “Yeah,” you lied with confidence. “I am. Are you?”
He was staring out the window at the river as if the moonlight glistening on the water had hypnotized him.
“Cheol?”
“What?”
“Are you happy?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s good. I want you to be happy,” you told him. It was true—you wanted him to be happy, but you also wanted to be the reason for his happiness.
“I want you to be happy, too,” he said with a sad smile. You could tell he had something on his mind, but if you asked, then he would tell you what was bothering him, and that would only make it harder for you to push him away.
After you had finished eating, Seungcheol took it upon himself to clean up (which only made the aching in your heart worse). He plopped down onto the bed where you were laying, your eyes fixated on the bright light fixture in the ceiling.
The two of you didn’t talk about anything of importance that night—instead, you recounted high school memories, complained about annoying coworkers, and gushed about the ending of that drama you had been watching. Despite the cans of beer that Seungcheol had brought sitting out on your vanity, they remained completely untouched for the most part (Seungcheol drank a couple and you stole a few sips of his) since he had to leave soon anyway.
Or so you thought.
Your conversations lasted hours, and before you knew it, you had passed out. The sunlight trickled into your hotel room as your eyes fluttered open to adjust to the brightness. When you adjusted your position in the bed, you felt something strange and firm under your neck—
Oh no.
This was bad. Very, very, extremely, terribly, horribly bad. Seungcheol was next to you with his arm under your head. You were sure that nothing had happened last night—you were both fully clothed—but even if you didn’t sleep together, sleeping together wasn’t a good look either, especially if someone were to walk in on you like this. It wasn’t like you could easily provide excuses as to why you were so close to your friend who, mind you, was in a happy marriage with a woman whom he loved very much (and wasn’t you).
Slowly, you rolled out of bed, cautious as to not disturb the sleeping lion next to you.
Even though it was your day off, you had to get out of there because the longer you stayed, the chances of you doing something you’d regret for the rest of your life increased tenfold. All you needed was your wallet which was… right next to Seungcheol on the bedside table. Great.
Your footsteps were soft against the tiled floor, your socks doing a good job of dampening each step. Honestly, you weren’t sure if you were projecting some kind of fantasy onto him, but even while he was asleep, he seemed happier than he had been those other times you had seen him.
Seungcheol had insomnia, but seeing him sleep so peacefully like this, his long lashes flush against his skin, his nostrils flaring ever so slightly with each exhale, his lips that you wish you could taste, just this once—
But you wouldn’t. You couldn’t. He wasn’t yours in a capacity that would allow you to entertain such thoughts. Yet, maybe you would just look…
His eyes fluttered open and now you were really fucked, your face only centimeters away from his. The silence of your room drowned out your thoughts and you stood up quickly.
“Um, morning. I’m just heading out. I have another meeting with a client,” you lied. It was Saturday, but for all he knew, this could be a conference, and you were fortunate that Seungcheol had absolutely zero knowledge of the industry because you’d be more screwed than you already were. “I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’ll see you.”
Turning on your heels, you tried to walk away as quickly as possible, but you were stopped by the feeling of his hand grabbing onto yours.
“Were you about to…”
Right then and there, the blood drained from your face and your limbs went numb.
There was nothing more that you wanted than to disappear off the face of the earth, yet why was it that you were thinking about how good it felt to hold his rough hands?
“I’ll see you later,” you blurted out, yanking your hand from his and leaving the room without looking back. Not even once.
———
“Cheers!” The shouting of your coworkers and best friends were somehow able to drown out the pounding bass of the dive bar. Vernon had offered you and Dahyun free shots for the night, but since you were moving first thing in the morning, limiting yourself to a happy buzz was the farthest you would go tonight.
“I am so proud of you,” Dahyun exclaimed, planting a kiss on your cheek. This was her drunk habit—kissing her best friend and getting extremely touchy, though you didn’t mind. She was cute, giggly, and of course, more bold when she drank. You wouldn’t be surprised if somehow she managed to go home with Vernon tonight with the amount of courage she now had in her system—about time, too. They were cute and you had been trying to get them together for a while now. Any success they had, they’d have to owe it all to you.
“Thanks, boo,” you replied, the pet name coming out with ease as the alcohol swirled in your body.
“Let’s dance!” She slammed her glass against the counter (this caused Vernon to wince at the idea of his precious crystalline being smashed into pieces) and was quick to grab your hand, dragging you out to the dance floor where you weaved through warm bodies moving drunkenly to the music. Under the strobing red, blue, and green lights, you let the music and the alcohol take control of your body—for once, it felt nice to let loose and feel all your worries dissipate into the night.
On the walk home, your head buzzed from the drinks, and for the first time in a while, you were excited at the prospect of your future. Perhaps things would work out after all. As you neared your apartment, a familiar man stood outside kicking at the ground.
“Cheol?”
“When were you going to tell me?” His voice was sullen.
“Tell you what?” In reality, you knew exactly what he was asking about, though you thought maybe by playing dumb, somehow that would prolong your encounter with reality, a reality that didn’t involve Seungcheol.
He furrowed his eyebrows. You hated the way he looked at you. “That you got a new job?”
A lump formed in your throat. Suddenly, it was hard to swallow. All the happiness you felt just thirty minutes ago disappeared in the blink of an eye. You thought maybe you could get away scot-free and disappear from his life quietly, but with him standing here in front of you like this, it was becoming clear that you had to face your reality.
As you searched for something, anything, to say, Seungcheol began tapping his foot against the pavement, impatient for an answer. When you didn’t respond, he scoffed. “I thought I was your best friend.”
“You are—”
“So, why didn’t you say anything?”
“I was going to—”
“When? Huh? After you moved?”
“What?”
“You’re moving tomorrow, aren’t you?”
How did he know that?
“Seungcheol—”
“I can’t believe you. You are so ridiculous.”
You pressed your lips into a tight line. It didn’t matter that he was right, that you were ridiculous—hearing that from him only annoyed you.
“Well, now you know,” you responded, your tone dry and uncaring.
The incredulous laugh he let out stung and made your heart ache. “Yeah, and I had to find out from everyone except you. You know, you’re the one person I thought I could trust. I thought you trusted me.”
I do, you wanted to tell him.
“You’ve been weird since that weekend,” he said, changing the subject. How could you not feel weird when you almost found yourself kissing your married best friend? If loving a taken man was a line you weren’t supposed to cross, then almost kissing him would send you straight to hell. Worse yet, you didn’t think he would notice.
But of course he did. He was your best friend after all, and for all the moments he could be dense as fuck, he knew you like the back of his hand—or, at least he thought he did. Despite his best efforts to decipher your words and actions lately, it seemed that every conclusion he came to was dead wrong. Even now, he couldn’t tell what you were thinking, your poker face doing a good job of hiding how you truly felt inside.
“I’ve just been busy,” you tried to defend yourself.
“No. You’re hiding something.”
“I’m not—”
“What aren’t you telling me? Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?”
You kind of were, but mostly you were mad at yourself. So much could have been avoided if you had confessed your feelings to Seungcheol in university when you had the chance. Foolishly, you allowed yourself to believe that your feelings for him were fleeting, a passing moment that would come and go like the seasons. Your love had no expiration date, you’d find out later.
“No…”
“Then what is it? Why are you acting like this? Why can’t you answer my questions?”
Something in you snapped, your eyes went red, and suddenly you were shouting at the man you had loved for most of your life. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know why I can’t answer your questions. I don’t know why I’m acting this way. What I do know is that I want you to leave me alone.”
“No.” His voice was firm like the grasp he had on your arms, his fingers constricting around your skin. “Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on.”
“I don’t fucking know!” Tears formed in the corners of your eyes as you tried your hardest to hold them back, your eyes looking at the ground to avoid the inevitable onslaught of emotion that would happen if you looked at him.
“Yes you do! Look at me,” he said, shaking you.
“Fine! I’m a fucking idiot, okay? I’m a fucking idiot who’s stupidly in love with you, and I can’t stand that I’ve been doing this for so long now, and I just want to get away from it all. I just want to get away from you.”
Seungcheol’s face loosened as he slowly processed your words, his brain a jumbled mess. He eased his grip on you, making it easy for you to shake him off as you two stood there awkwardly. You turned away from him, wiping the tears that were now streaming down your face.
You took a step back. “I think it’s best you don’t call me. In fact, I think we shouldn’t see each other ever again. Goodbye, Seungcheol.”
And without looking back, you turned your back on him, an ache boring through your soul as you walked inside your building.
———
The past year flew by—you had settled nicely into your job as the manager for your marketing and design firm, and your new team seemed to love you already. You had an assistant, Chan, to help schedule your meetings—something you weren’t used to—but you did enjoy the convenience that came with having him there.
Your fingers clacked away at your keyboard as you were preparing a presentation for a big client when a knocking on your door snapped you out of your zone. “Come in,” you blurted.
“Someone’s here to see you,” Chan said, peeking his head through the doorframe.
“Do I have a meeting scheduled right now? I thought I was free until the afternoon,” you replied, not looking up from your monitor.
“Nothing’s on the schedule as far as I know.”
“Okay. Let them in.” Chan nodded and opened the door, letting the guest in.
The moment you caught a glimpse of her face, you shot up from your seat. You recognized her bright eyes and high cheekbones, the way her long black hair framed her face perfectly, and the sheer elegance she exuded no matter where she went. There was only one thing that was different: her belly.
Everything about her had remained the same except now her hands were holding her stomach.
She was hesitant to come in further, and upon seeing the shock on your face, she wondered if being here was as good of an idea as she had intended. “Hi,” she said, her voice awkward like she was a teenager entering her first day of school.
“Sookyung?” You stood up immediately, rounding the corner of your desk.
“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” she spoke.
“Yeah… it has been…” You didn’t realize you were still staring at her baby bump until your office fell dead silent, the only sounds coming from your mini-fridge and your desk fan that you kept on while you worked. “Please,” you said, gesturing towards the couch. “Sit down.”
She must have been pretty far along given the size of her belly and the noise she made when she sat on the leather cushion, relieved to be off her feet.
“Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Tea?”
“I wouldn’t mind a little tea,” she replied sheepishly.
“Is jasmine okay?”
She nodded.
As you prepared the hot water, you kept your back to her, your brain running through every possible scenario as to why she was here. Yet, despite your desperate attempt to plan how you would approach this, you weren’t ready for what she was about to tell you.
When the water finished boiling, you poured it into the mugs you only pulled out for your VIP clients. “Be careful,” you warned her. “It’s hot.”
“Thank you,” she said, taking the mug into her hands.
“So… what… are you doing here? How did you find me?”
Sookyung just stared into her mug, contemplating how to explain herself.
“Sorry,” you blurted. “I… I’m just surprised to see you. How… how are you doing?”
She looked up finally and met you with a hesitant smile. “Seungcheol told me you got a new job here, and I have a friend who works here as well–but I’m good. I’ve never been better actually.” Your eyes fell upon her belly again.
“How far along are you?”
“Six and a half months.”
“Wow, Soo, congratulations! You and Seungcheol must be so happy!”
Her face dropped at your mention of his name.
“Actually, that’s why I came to see you.”
Your stomach flipped. “What do you mean?”
“We… got divorced.”
“You what?”
“You guys what?” Your eyes fell on her hands, a ring decorating her left finger. “But your—”
“It was a long time coming,” she chuckled softly. “This is from someone else.”
“I don’t understand. What do you mean ‘It was a long time coming’? You guys were fine.”
“Is that what it seemed like?”
It was. But you also couldn’t remember the last time Seungcheol had talked about his married life with Sookyung.
“We fought a lot,” she continued. “Like, a lot.”
“Soo, I’m… I’m sorry to hear that.”
She shook her head. “It’s not your fault,” she offered, yet an abrupt wave of guilt washed over you. “Do you remember our wedding day?”
You nodded.
———
Of course you remembered their wedding day—who could forget the way Seungcheol looked at you when you arrived after telling him you wouldn’t make it? The two of you had gotten into a nasty fight just weeks prior when you had asked him if he was sure jumping into marriage was the right choice.
“Are you fucking serious right now?” he had said. In all your years of friendship, you had never gotten into a fight as bad as this one, but neither of you would back down because of your pride.
“You’ve barely been together for a year, and suddenly you’re engaged and getting married? It doesn’t make sense!”
“No, you’re just sad, and lonely, and bitter because everyone you date ends up dumping you because you can’t give them what they want.”
“Fuck you, Choi Seungcheol.”
“Am I wrong?”
“Yeah. You are.” He wasn’t. He was completely right, because you could never fully give yourself to anyone. Your heart belonged to one person, and one person only: him. But you couldn’t tell him that.
“If you’re going to be like this, then get the fuck out of my apartment.”
“Fine.”
“And don’t even think about showing up to the wedding.”
You swore your heart dropped to the floor. You knew you should have turned around and apologized, but you let your stubbornness get the best of you as you slammed his door behind you.
Neither of you meant any of the things you had said, but it didn’t reverse the damage that had already been done. You had practically been uninvited to your best friend’s wedding, and upon hearing what had happened, Sookyung was the one to reach out and tell you that she really wanted you there. You had tried to tell her that you were uninvited, but she reminded you that this was her wedding, too, but you held your line. And you were almost able to get away with it had it not been for Seungkwan begging you to drive him to the wedding hall after Soonyoung had woken up late.
None of your other friends had known about the fight, and you fully intended on dropping him off and leaving until he dragged you inside. You had missed the ceremony, but the reception was in full force, the other guests mixing and mingling with drinks in hand.
“Seungkwan—” his voice echoed through the hallway, stopping when he saw you.
“Seungcheol, congratulations!” Seungkwan exclaimed, approaching his friend with a big hug. “Now, where’s Sookyung?”
“She’s… in the other room,” Seungcheol’s voice trailed off, his eyes fixed on you instead. He had always been an open book, his emotions written all over his face, but that day, you couldn’t tell what was going through his mind.
“Great, I gotta go see her.” And with that, Seungkwan was gone, leaving the two of you alone.
“Um, hey,” you said.
“Hey.”
“C-congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
The silence was so much louder than the hooting and hollering of the guests in the reception hall.
“I’m sorry—”
“Sorry for—”
You paused and looked at him. Clearing your throat, you asserted yourself. “I’m sorry for what happened a few weeks ago. I was being too overprotective of you when I should have just trusted you.”
“I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean what I said that night. I just—”
“You don’t need to explain yourself,” you told him, wrapping him in your arms. “I want you to know that I’m happy for you, Cheol. I really am. You’re my best friend and you deserve to be the happiest.”
He returned your embrace. “You’re my best friend, too. I couldn’t ever stand to lose you. You deserve to be the happiest, too.”
“I am,” you had said, and though that was a lie, maybe it would be true one day.
———
“I’m not following, Soo. What does your wedding day have to do with your divorce?” Your throat suddenly felt like it was constricting, depriving you of the oxygen you needed to live.
“Our wedding day… it was a mistake.” Despite everything that had happened, she still managed to smile. If you were her, you weren’t sure you could do the same. But she wasn’t you—she was Shim Sookyung, the girl everyone loved because she was just that kind and lovely.
“There’s no way. You guys are perfect for each other!” Despite that deep-seated desire in your heart that you once harbored for Seungcheol to be yours, this new reality somehow didn’t seem any better. Sure, your best friend was single now, but why was it starting to feel like all of this was your fault?
Sookyung let out a chuckle. “You guys are too similar. Seungcheol said the same thing when I asked for the divorce.”
“Soo, I’m confused. What’s going on?”
“I’ve known for a long time that we weren’t going to work. I knew that Seungcheol’s heart didn’t belong to me, but mine didn’t belong to him either.”
“What do you mean?”
“I… fell in love with someone else. A long time ago. His name is Youngbin. During university, he had graduated and moved away, and I thought I would never see him again. And so I started dating Seungcheol to cope with my heartbreak. I didn’t think it would last long, but a selfish part of me wanted to hold onto him because maybe, just maybe, if I was with him long enough, I’d forget about Youngbin. But just before the wedding, Youngbin moved back and he reached out to me. He asked me to run away with him, but I told him no, I was in love with Seungcheol. We had gone through so much trouble to plan the wedding and invite everyone, I couldn’t just call it off. But I should have. I was a coward.”
“Soo…”
“I know, I’m pathetic,” she admitted. “In the beginning, things were fine. I thought, ‘Maybe I could see myself with Seungcheol for the rest of my life,’ but things turned for the worse quickly. We fought a lot over the smallest things, started sleeping in different rooms, and I was living with a man I didn’t know anymore. And you know Cheol, he never backs down.”
You nodded. You did know that, and you knew that well.
“I tried, I really tried to tell myself that this was the right decision—that he was the right decision—but ultimately, I knew the answer. We both did. It was clear from the beginning, but he was too prideful and I was too selfish to admit it.”
“So, then what about…” your voice trailed off, but your eyes pointed to her baby bump.
“Oh, it’s not Cheol’s, if that’s what you’re wondering,” she laughed. You wondered how even through all of this, she could be so calm and nonchalant. Sure, she had been nervous coming into your office, but now that she could get all of this off her chest, relief washed over her. “Youngbin and I,” she continued, now holding her belly. “We’re getting married.”
Your eyes widened and you swore you nearly dropped your mug (which, mind you, was still full of piping hot water). “Oh my god, Sookyung! That’s,” you paused, trying to find the right words, “amazing!”
“Thank you,” she smiled at you. “But this isn’t what I came here to tell you.”
Your eyebrows wrinkled with confusion. What else could she possibly tell you after dropping the bomb that she and Seungcheol were divorced and she was pregnant with another man’s baby?
“Seungcheol and I,” she continued. “We’re on good terms. He congratulated me on my engagement and the baby. I guess I just want you to know that we’re on good terms. I don’t have anything against you or Cheol. I love you guys, and I always will.”
If not for the sound of your team hustling and bustling outside, perhaps you could have heard your heart shattering.
“Soo, what are you trying to get at?”
“I think you guys should be together.”
“No.” The answer flew out of your mouth before you even had time to fully process what she was trying to tell you. “No, I couldn’t. I can’t do that to you.”
“You’re not doing anything to me. If anything, you’d be doing me a favor because then I can stop worrying about you both.”
“Worry about us? That doesn’t make sense.”
“What doesn’t make sense is Seungcheol and I spending four years of our lives denying our hearts and trying to find the answers in each other when they were never there in the first place. You may not see it, but he loves you.”
“No, he doesn’t. You should have seen us the day before I left. He was so upset with me. We’re not friends anymore, Soo.”
“You should have seen him when he came home that night. He was heartbroken. You’re his best friend—”
“Was his best friend.”
“No, you still are. Listen to me,” she said, reaching across the table to grab your hands. “You still are his best friend. I don’t know what was said that night, but nothing will ever change that fact.”
“Sookyung—”
“Listen to me. Trust me, if not yourself. You guys really are too similar,” she laughed again. “You should talk to him. Figure out your stuff. Be happy. With each other.”
You could only shake your head. How could she possibly know how Seungcheol felt about you? If you were him, you’d never want to see you again after what happened that night. Imagine the heartbreak he felt when you, his best friend, didn’t tell him the biggest news of your life. On top of that, you had confessed your long-time love for him and declared you never wanted to see him ever again. At this point, did you even deserve happiness?
Why would he want to see you, let alone talk to you?
“I don’t know if there’s hope for us anymore.”
“How would you know if you never ask him? God,” she huffed teasingly, “you two really are similar, and I hate you both for it.”
“We are not!”
The cackle that came out of her mouth was almost insulting. “He literally said the same thing to me. Just trust me and talk to him. Please. It’s the least you could do for me.”
“Soo, please,” you groaned. You couldn’t believe she was pulling this card on you as if you hadn’t just ruined her marriage and been the cause of her divorce.
“What’s stopping you?”
“This is all my fault—”
“It’s all of our faults,” she assured you with a squeeze of your hands. The laughter that fell from her lips was as charming as ever. “We’re all idiots.”
You couldn’t help but smile. “We are, aren’t we?”
“Promise me you’ll talk to him?”
Sighing, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no to her. “Okay, I’ll talk to him.”
She stood up from her seat on your couch, releasing your hands. “I should probably get going. Bin is waiting for me downstairs.”
You watched as she wobbled to the door. “Soo?” She turned around, surprised when you wrapped her in your arms. “Thank you.”
“Let’s all be happy, okay?”
“Okay.”
———
Hey… can we talk?
Your fingers hovered over the ‘Send’ button before finding the backspace, the letters you had written gone in a blink. Since Sookyung’s visit, you had promised her you’d talk to Seungcheol, but every time you went to message him, you chickened out.
It was only four simple words, but doubt overcame your best intentions. What if he didn’t want to talk to you? What if he was seeing someone else? What if that only made things worse? But then again, how bad could it get at that point? It’s not like you had much to lose anymore, but the mere prospect of making his loss in your life more permanent made your heart ache.
Hot oil splattered against your skin, a miniscule moment of pain for delicious, grilled pork belly with pepper paste wrapped in cool, crisp lettuce. Your team had just landed a VIP client and it was all thanks to your hard work in gaining their trust. You were happy seeing your team’s bright, smiling faces, excited to do a job they were passionate about, and in theory, you were happy about the job, too. You wanted to be laughing and celebrating with them, but your mind kept looping back to Sookyung’s words.
You still are his best friend.
Be happy. With each other.
Taeyang, your lead designer, put a glass of beer in front of you, a shot glass of soju sitting atop a pair of chopsticks. “Drink up, chief,” he said cheekily.
You smiled at him, thankful at his gesture. You slammed the table with your fists and watched the smaller glass fall to the bottom of the larger, bubbles forming as the alcohol reacted with each other, your coworker whooping and cheering as you chugged the soju bomb.
Tonight, you wanted to be able to celebrate your wins with your team rather than moping over a message to send Seungcheol, so you locked your phone and put it on ‘Do not Disturb’ as you enjoyed the grilled meat and the company of your team. Your message to him would be a matter for tomorrow.
Maybe.
By the time dinner ended, you had drank enough to have a good time and you truly had forgotten about Seungcheol. You were happy, giggly even, and hiccuping as you sent off your team one-by-one in their taxis. Fortunately, your new apartment was only a seven-minute walk from the restaurant. You waved goodbye to your colleagues before taking off towards your home.
The frigid night air was refreshing against your warm skin, and you felt yourself sobering up with every step you took. Now, all you needed was a shower and to get snuggled up under your warm comforter.
The light from the lobby of your apartment grew brighter as you got closer, but you noticed someone standing just outside the doors. You squinted to see who it was, maybe your neighbor Joshua who had forgotten his keys in his apartment again. But as your vision cleared, you recognized him immediately—how could you not know his shoulders, his hair, that favorite red puffer jacket of his, his hands shoved deep into the pockets?
You were dreaming. You had to be, because why would he be here? Right? It didn’t make sense. Before you could scrutinize him any further, he turned around, a bit shocked to see you despite that being the reason he was here. In front of your apartment.
“Seungcheol?” Though a year had passed since you last saw him, his grip on your heart never loosened and you could hear it pounding in your ears.
“Um, hi,” he sniffled, his nose rosy and his breath visible from the cold air.
“What are you… how did you find my apartment?”
“Dahyun told me,” he confessed. Damn it, you couldn’t trust that girl to keep information to herself, could you?
“I… Why are you here?” Twice in one week you had asked two separate people that question, but you really didn’t understand why this was happening, and now of all times.
“Can we talk?” The words you had struggled with for the past week seemed so effortless coming from him. Little did you know that he only came here on impulse because he found himself having a hard time sending you a text as well.
“Um, yeah.” You motioned for him to follow you upstairs. The elevator ride up was quiet, which was now becoming more common for you two than not. It was strange, this new apartment of yours. For so long, Seungcheol had grown used to your old apartment, the one he knew almost as well as he knew you, but this one was uncharted territory for him. Even the elevator and lock outside your door were different. Never in his life had he felt so distant from you, and he hated every part of it.
When you entered your apartment, you haphazardly kicked off your shoes, still a bit drunk from earlier. He took his shoes off, too, arranging his and yours neatly by the door before stepping into your home. You went into the kitchen and turned the stove on, putting water into the kettle for tea.
“You can sit down,” you told him as you ripped the tea bags open.
He sat down on your couch—it was stiff and much newer than the one you’d previously had. Less broken in, he guessed. In fact, everything in your apartment was new and modern in contrast to the items you had bought second-hand at your last place. His mind wandered as you lingered in the kitchen, afraid to turn around and confront the reality that your best friend (well, ex-best friend) was sitting in your home at that very moment.
Did you ever bring other people here?
Did they know your apartment the way he knew your old one? Jealousy seeped within his veins at the idea that that was even possible.
Once the water was finished boiling, you poured it into two mugs with chamomile tea bags, the smell wafting gently into your nose. With a deep breath, you took the cups into the living room and set them down in front of him as you sat down on the chair adjacent to him.
“It’s hot, isn’t it?” you said, your voice cracking slightly. Awkwardly, you stood up to open the window. Granted, with it being winter, you hadn’t opened the window for several months, so it was difficult getting it to budge now.
“Here, let me help.” Before you knew it, you felt the warmth of his body behind you. With his strength, the window opened easily, but even with the winter air coming in, the tension didn’t go down.
You both sat down again and you took your mug into your hands. It was still too hot for you to be holding it, but the heat on your palms gave you something to think about other than what possible thing Seungcheol could say to you.
“So…” you began, “how are you?”
“How have you been?”
You smiled awkwardly at each other, your grip on your mug tightening as a reflex.
“I’m okay,” you replied. “Tired.” The longer you sat there, the more you started to feel the alcohol take its final toll on you, your eyes growing heavier with every passing second. Seungcheol noticed, too. Deciding it was probably best he tabled this discussion for tomorrow when you were in your right mind, he stood up.
“I think you should get some sleep instead.”
“Are you sure?” you asked, though you weren’t sure what was really going on anymore.
“Yeah, we can talk tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” His voice was soft, and even in your tipsy, sleepy state, it was comforting.
You stood up to see him out the door, but your knees buckled from under you. Seungcheol caught you in time before you fell to the ground, helping you up. He should probably make sure you get to bed without hurting yourself before he left.
“Where’s your bedroom?” he asked.
Pointing to the closed door in the northwest corner of your living room, he led you inside and let you sit on the bed as he opened your closet, looking for pajamas for you to change into. When he opened a drawer, his heart ached—he immediately recognized a small graphic tee that peeked out from the bottom. That was his t-shirt. One that you had borrowed one time in high school when you were repainting your childhood bedroom and then claimed you “lost.” He had gotten so mad at you that he ignored you for five days until you came knocking on his door with various sweets you had baked yourself as a peace offering. It was then that he realized he could never be mad at you for too long. And it was then that he realized he wanted you to be in his life forever.
He pulled the shirt out along with a pair of pajama pants and dropped it into your lap.
“Can you get changed on your own?” he asked.
You nodded your head, the weight threatening to throw you forward. Seungcheol propped you up instead, helping you stand on your feet.
“Yeah. But don’t look,” you mumbled, pouting.
It was probably inappropriate to be thinking this way, but Seungcheol found you cute when you made that face, your eyebrows furrowed, your nose crinkled, and your bottom lip jutting out as far as it could go. It was the same face you used to make as a child when things wouldn’t go your way.
A soft chuckle escaped his lips. “I won’t,” he assured you, turning around first just to be sure. He stood in silence, the sound of the fabric against your skin mixed with your subdued grunts filling the room as you tried to change your clothes in your drunken state. He knew he shouldn’t but he was slightly curious, so, Seungcheol, being the nosy guy he was, he turned around to peek at you.
You had somehow managed to put your head through a sleeve, your right arm moving freely in the head hole as you struggled to pull the fabric over your head. Seungcheol had to stifle his laughter as he watched your fight with the article of clothing.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
“No,” you confessed.
“Do you want some help?”
Silence.
“Maybe.”
“Okay. Here, let me help you,” he said, closing the gap between you two. For the first time in all your years of friendship, Seungcheol had never been so close to you in such an… intimate manner. He pulled the fabric up revealing your bare back; chills ran down his spine and he suddenly felt awkward. Adjusting the shirt so your head and your arms went through the proper openings, he pulled the shirt down quickly. “There.” Why was his face so warm?
“Thank you,” you mumbled.
“Sure.” Moving quickly, he untucked the comforter from under the mattress and sat down on the side of your bed, tapping the spot for you to lay down. You gave way to gravity and fell with a soft thud, your head barely missing the pillow. It took a bit of rearranging, but Seungcheol was able to get you to lay properly; when he was satisfied with his work, he covered your body with the blanket, tucking you in.
With your eyes closed and your breathing quiet, you looked so peaceful like this. Seungcheol tucked a stray hair behind your ear. He had done a lot of reflecting this past year, and as much as he wished he had gained some kind of clarity, instead all he got was a rollercoaster of emotions. He spiraled into a blackhole of ‘what-ifs,’ wondering if things would have been different now if he had just confessed to you before Yanan did, or if he had listened to you that day you asked him if he was sure about his marriage.
“I hate you,” you muttered. The three little words pierced his chest, but he knew that he at least deserved that much. He hated himself, too.
“I know,” he whispered under his breath.
“I… was supposed to… quit… you…” Even in your unconscious state, you stumbled over your words as they fell clumsily from your mouth.
“What do you mean?” he asked, not expecting a response.
“You’re not supposed to be here.”
“Okay, then I’ll leave.”
“No,” you blurted, grabbing onto the back of his shirt. “Stay.”
Your eyes were still closed, but your eyebrows were furrowed, lips pouting again.
“You said I wasn’t supposed to be here.”
“Don’t go.”
The wall you had built around your heart suddenly came crumbling down, and this was the first show of vulnerability he had seen from you in a long time. Hearing the cracks in your voice, Seungcheol relived that sadness he felt that day you told him ‘goodbye.’ It was a painful memory, and he never wanted to believe you meant it, but your actions said otherwise.
But here you were, laying so quietly in front of him, calmer than that night, your grip on him pretty strong for someone who was inebriated and half-asleep. You weren’t sure what possessed you in that moment—perhaps it was the alcohol, or perhaps it was the fear that if he walked out now, you might never see him again.
Somehow, that one small movement made his breath hitch, his heart palpitating with such force that he was afraid you might hear it in the silence.
“I won’t go.”
And he didn’t. He stayed with you the entire night, using a spare pillow from the couch in the living room to lay on the floor.
———
Last night, no, the entirety of this past week had felt like a fever dream. From Sookyung to…
Seungcheol.
You shot up in your bed, your head throbbing from the alcohol—you rubbed your eyes of the crust that had formed overnight, and it took a minute for your vision to clear up before you could see anything. Was he really here last night? Did he leave? Did you imagine that he slept there? There was a pillow from the living room and the spare blanket you had gotten for guests which you most certainly didn’t remember getting yourself, but nobody was there.
Slowly but surely, you got out of bed and slid your feet into your plush slippers, your toes curling against the soft fabric. Opening the door to the rest of your apartment, it was dead silent, but the smell of grease was first to greet your senses. Upon closer inspection, the table had a bowl of rice and to its side, a plate of fried spam and scrambled eggs. There was even a small plate of kimchi, your favorite thing to eat after a heavy night of drinking.
Your attention was caught by the slight snoring coming from the couch behind you; Seungcheol was laying on his side, drool coming from his slightly opened mouth. It was hard to stifle your laughter, but you didn’t want to wake him—with his insomnia, you wanted to make sure he got every second of sleep he could possibly get.
What you really needed, though, was a cup of coffee. Figuring the large guy on your couch could use one, too, you perched onto your toes to grab your nicer mugs from the top shelf. These days, you had resorted to instant coffee mix in tiny paper cups you had stolen from work. Why you did this, you weren’t quite sure yourself. Maybe it was the novelty of drinking from the paper cups that reminded you of those late nights in the library and the vending machines, but something about it hit differently than fresh coffee.
Today, however, was a freshly brewed coffee kind of day. You scooped out two spoons of medium roast coffee and put it into the machine, the rumbling of the water and brewing surprising you despite how often you’d used it before.
Deciding the breakfast he had (presumably) made for you wasn’t enough for two people, you took the bowl of rice and threw it back into the rice cooker to warm it up again. As much as you appreciated his efforts to cook, that’s the most credit he would get. Just one look at the dishes on the table and you could tell the spam was burnt and the scrambled eggs were too dry to be deemed edible. With a sorry heart, you watched the contents of the plate slide into the trash can. You’d have to remake breakfast, but you knew he’d thank you for it anyway.
The aroma slowly began to fill your apartment, stimulating Seungcheol to wake up.
“I made you breakfast,” he grunted, wiping his tired eyes.
“I saw that, but this isn’t enough for the two of us, dummy.”
Hearing you call him that made him believe that things between you were almost… normal. “I wasn’t planning on eating.”
“Well, now you’re going to.” It was more of a threat than an offer, and who was he to say no?
“What are you doing?”
“Frying the spam.”
“But I already made that…” his voice trailed off when he saw that the only thing left on the table was the kimchi.
“Yeah, poorly. We can’t eat what you made.”
His signature pout came out in full force, his lips protruding from his face.
The tension from last was almost nonexistent, as if you hadn’t gotten into a big fight and spent the past year not speaking to one another, as if you hadn’t told him you didn’t want to see him again. You stood in a silence that, once unfamiliar, was now more commonplace than you’d like, the only sounds in your apartment were the sizzling of oil on the pan as you threw on fresh eggs and spam. Unsure of what to do with himself, Seungcheol just loomed over you while you cooked the food—you kind of hated it because it felt like the times your mom would just stand there and watch you intently, like, what could she possibly want from you?
What could he possibly want from you?
“Okay,” you sighed, “breakfast is done.” With a swift turn of your wrist, everything came off the pan without difficulty onto the plate, the greasy smell stirring the appetite in your belly. Scooping two bowls of now warmed rice, you set them on a small tray with some side dishes your mother had left when she visited last weekend.
You brought the food to the table, motioning for him to sit down, too. Like second nature, Seungcheol immediately grabbed a piece of spam and placed it in your bowl of rice. If you had told someone that the two of you hadn’t spoken or interacted in the last year, you were sure they wouldn’t believe you solely based on his actions.
Yet, that was your reality: gut-wrenching heartbreak, cruel words, and a debilitating distance that you thought would solve your problems. The truth was that it didn’t. In some ways, it only made it worse.
There are two sayings: “Out of sight, out of mind,” and “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
You, unfortunately, fell victim to the latter phrase. Though, perhaps “fonder” wasn’t the right word—a more accurate phrase would be, “Absence makes the heart wither away in pain and make you wish you could go back in time and completely re-do everything.” But that didn’t exactly fit on a craft store, cross-stitch pillow, did it?
“Thanks,” Seungcheol mumbled, breaking the silence, “for cooking breakfast.”
You offered a quiet chuckle. “Re-cooking breakfast,” you added. “I should thank you for at least trying in the first place.”
He pressed his lips into a tight line, the skin in his cheek caving into that favorite dimple of yours. As you two continued to eat, silence prevailed and the tension remained thicker than the grease in your pan. Suddenly, Seungcheol put his chopsticks down with more force than he intended, which caught your attention mid-bite.
“Can we talk?”
“Like, right now?”
“Yeah.”
“Um, yeah,” you said, swallowing your mouthful. You could feel your throat constrict, almost as if you were choking.
Seungcheol looked at the bookshelf behind you, his eyes glazing over as he contemplated how to start the conversation. “So…”
“So…”
“Sookyung and I…we—”
“She told me.”
“Right.” Seungcheol cleared his throat. “She, um, she told me she stopped by.”
“Really?”
They still kept in touch?
“Yeah. So, you know that she’s…”
“Yeah.”
He rubbed the nape of his neck anxiously as he stared at his bowl of rice that had been untouched this entire time. Where was he even going with this? On the drive over here, he had planned everything he was going to say to you, how he was sorry, how he thought that maybe he was in love with you—still in love with you— and how maybe, just maybe, you could give him another chance.
Yet, now that he was here and you were there in front of him, all of those thoughts went straight out the window.
If the silence wasn’t going to kill you, surely your anxiety would. Your knees bounced underneath the table while you clutched the excess fabric of your pants.
“How are you doing?” you asked. Although you had spent the last year trying to let go of your relationship with Cheol, you had often typed the words into an empty message without hitting send.
Just four words. It was only four words, but they held so much weight. Seungcheol had spent countless nights wanting to ask you the same thing, typing the question out before deleting it for the nth time because he didn’t have the courage to hit ‘Send.’
He didn’t think that he would hear the words from you, however, his brain working overtime to develop a response. “I…I don’t know.”
You nodded. It wasn’t like you could exactly explain how you were feeling, how much of a toll this whole thing had taken on you even though you had moved far away from him in hopes that maybe you could finally move on with your life.
Silence filled your apartment once again, and rather than eating breakfast as you had intended to do, both of you just sat there like two kids who had gotten in trouble and were waiting for the principal to come in. Only this time, there wasn’t a third person to come tell you everything that you did wrong.
That would require that you own up to your actions, and that Seungcheol owned up to his—did either of you have it in you to do that?
And even if you did, would that really change anything? Or make a difference? The rational part of you knew that it wouldn’t change much. Despite Sookyung’s truth bomb and Seungcheol’s sudden appearance, you couldn’t help but wonder where to go from here.
You had spent the past year walking this path alone, and though it was lonely at times, you really only had yourself to rely on, resolute in your decision to finally move on from your first and only love, Choi Seungcheol. So, what difference was this supposed to make?
Did he think you would accept him with open arms? That now that he was a “free man,” the two of you could just run off into the sunset, hand in hand and live happily ever?
No. It wasn’t that easy. It was never that easy.
You fiddled with the food in front of you, your chopsticks breaking apart the scrambled eggs as your brain struggled to think of a response.
Instead, it was Cheol who broke the silence. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his chin tucked into his neck as he stared at the balled up fists in his lap. All you could do was stare at the crown of his head, his long, black locks giving way to gravity. “I shouldn’t have come here.”
“Cheol…” you managed to say.
“I don’t know what I thought would happen. I just… I wasn’t thinking.”
“No, you weren’t,” you agreed.
“Can I be honest though?”
“Of course.”
“It was nice seeing you.”
Suddenly, tears welled up in the corner of your eyes and it felt like someone was trying to squeeze them out of your body as you fought back that urge to let them fall. All you could give him instead was a reluctant smile.
“I missed you,” he said once more. It was like he was intent on making you hurt, but not in the way he had in the past. This time, his words hit a sore spot, and you wanted to be angry that those words were said in remorse, rather than in longing. But then again, you were also to blame for the position you two were in.
“Me too,” you told him, and you can see his shoulders relax a bit when the words hit his ears.
Relief.
He had been worried that you had hated him and would scream and yell at him to get lost, and sure, you had already told him the night prior that you hated him, but you were also inebriated. There was a good chance you didn’t even remember what you had told him, so to hear you say that sober, it was reassuring.
Those were the last words you two said before finishing your breakfast, the food now cold once again. When you were done, you went to grab his dish, but Seungcheol was faster, swooping your plate and taking it to the sink. Without a word, he just turned on the water and put on the gloves.
You could have stopped him, insisted that he was the guest and that you could do the dishes, but you let him have this moment. Instead, you cleaned up the counter behind him, wiping the areas where the grease from the spam had splattered everywhere.
“Give me that,” he said, gesturing to the pan. You obliged, your hands touching when he grabbed the handle from you. It wasn’t some electrifying moment that opened your third eye, but it did make you realize how much you truly missed him. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary—after all, it wasn’t like the two of you hadn’t touched before, but yeah, you had to admit that this kind of domestic behavior was something you missed for sure.
You stopped and leaned against the counter, your eyes trained on the movement of his back muscles as he washed the dishes vigorously. Maybe in another life, in an alternate timeline, you two could have been standing in your kitchen as lovers instead of… whatever the fuck you were now. In another life, he would finally be yours.
“I, um,” you started, your voice faltering a bit, “I have to go get some groceries.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Do you… want to come with me?” It was a bold move, asking him to spend even more time with you considering the tension of the previous conversation, but hey, gotta shoot your shot, right?
“Yeah,” he said with a smile, though you couldn’t see it with his back turned towards you. “Just let me finish this one dish.”
“No rush,” you reassured him. “I’m just going to go get changed real quick.”
When you look at yourself in the mirror, you realize just how truly horrible you look. Wow, you really looked like this and Seungcheol didn’t say anything? Your hair was in complete disarray, unkempt and unbrushed, the strings of your hoodie completely misaligned. You pulled the thick fabric over and off your head, tossing it onto your bed. Another glance in the mirror and you realized that the t-shirt you were wearing was… his.
Did he choose this one? Did he remember that it used to belong to him?
Even after all this time, you couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of the comfiest shirt you owned, even if it belonged to the man who had broken your heart. Though, admittedly, you hadn’t worn the shirt in over a year for a certain reason. Instead, it just sat in the drawer, getting buried by new t-shirts you had bought and shoved in there.
You had stolen his t-shirt, but he had stolen your heart.
A knock on the door startled you, causing you to instinctively cover your chest despite you being fully clothed.
“I’m done with the dishes,” Cheol spoke loudly from the other side.
“Okay! Just give me a couple minutes to change,” you replied.
“Alright, I’ll just chill on the couch.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” Frantically, you grabbed a pair of jeans and threw on a thick hoodie, not wanting to make him wait any longer. You emerged from your room to find him leaning back on your couch, scrolling on his phone.
When he heard the door click, he looked up at you. “Ready?” he asked.
“Ready.”
The grocery store wasn’t any more than a twenty minute walk away from your house, but it had been a while since your last trip and you needed more than you could physically carry in two hands. You’d have to drive.
Seungcheol followed you to your car, entering through the passenger side. He settled nicely into the suede of your little sedan that was much older than his luxurious BMW. But it was comfortable, and it smelled like you, he noted.
He missed this.
The drive was quiet, the only sound that could be heard was of the tires on the road. Both of you were on edge, sensitive to the other’s every movement. Fortunately, the drive was short and you arrived at the grocery store which was a bit of a ghost town in the late morning. Before you could say or do anything, Seungcheol was already making his way to the carts, pulling it out and leaning against it as you entered the store. There was something quite sobering about the way the market smelled—maybe it was the way the dead fish and meat mixed with the vegetables in the frigid air, or the perpetual pine-forest scent of whatever cleaner they used to wipe the tiles constantly.
Seungcheol followed you like a puppy as you grabbed this and that off the shelves, muttering to yourself as you checked the items off your list on your phone. Neither of you really spoke to the other unless it was to ask him to grab that bag of chips from the bottom, no, not that one, yeah, no, yeah, that one.
Even when you were checking out, he waited for you patiently, packing the items into plastic bags and putting them in the cart which he later pushed out to your car. There, he unloaded everything and returned the cart diligently. You supposed he was probably used to this because it was something he did often with Sookyung, but still, it made your heart flutter. But you were also overwhelmed by the burden of guilt in your chest. Part of you was happy to be here, with your best friend (if you could still call him that), but another part of you felt responsible for what happened to him and his wife. It was you. You were the reason why they got divorced, and even though that tiny part of you wanted this to happen, you still felt horrible.
You hated the idea of being the source of anyone’s misery, and now you were the cause of not just one, but two people’s unhappiness. This wasn’t what you wanted. This wasn’t how you pictured your life to be all those years ago when you were just a naive university student madly in love with Choi Seungcheol.
The thought weighed heavy in your mind as you drove back home in silence. Again. Once upon a time ago, you would have been laughing and listening to your favorite songs when he was by your side, but the solemn mood now was incredibly foreign to the point that you could barely recognize the man beside you.
When “I’m just going to put these away real quick,” you told him. He nodded and sat down on your couch, but instead of scrolling on your phone, he just sat there, taking in your new apartment.
It was so different than the one you had lived in previously—this one was a lot more grown up, the furniture much more elevated and minimalistic in style compared to the posters of your favorite boy band you used to have in your childhood bedroom, or the photobooth strips that hung on your college apartment, the one you had lived in until you moved here. This one felt… empty—sad—like you had never fully moved in and made it your home.
Seungcheol wondered if you felt that way, if you felt like this was your home, if you were comfortable living here, if you were…
Happy.
“Coffee?” you offered. Despite already having had coffee earlier this morning, you weren’t quite sure what to do now that it was just the two of you alone in your apartment. There wasn’t much more you could do to stall between the inevitable conversation Seungcheol had come for, but you’d do your best to try. Kicking him out seemed too harsh, but fear crept into your heart when your mind began to wander, curious as to what he had to say to you.
“Please, I’ll help you,” he said, standing up abruptly and nearly stumbling over your coffee table. You had to stifle your laughter, his actions reminding you of the goofball you loved and missed, the one you would spend hours messing around with instead of studying for your university entrance exams. “You didn’t see that,” he blurted out. His ears turned red, but he was also relieved to see you smile for the first time since he had been here.
He wished he could make you smile even more.
“It’s okay, it’ll take me only a couple seconds.”
“Are you sure?”
You gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m sure, Cheol. But thank you.” That was the only thing you were sure of, that you could make coffee without his help. But everything else that followed? Not so much.
When you were finished, you brought the mugs to the table and sat down in the chair adjacent to him.
“Thank you,” he said. The once foreign silence had now become something familiar, but the awkward tension remained ever the same. Was this who you were to each other now? No longer friends, but not quite distant strangers either?
“Do you ever wish you could start over?”
You brought the mug to your lips, only to pause upon hearing his question.
“That… maybe we could start over?” He had kept walking, but when he realized you weren’t by his side, he paused, too.
“I don’t know what you mean,” you lied.
Of course, you knew exactly what he meant. The real answer was: yes, you had thought about this countless times, and it was the reason for your sleeplessness over many nights, but you weren’t about to just confess that to him now.
Upon hearing your response, Seungcheol’s face fell. What was he doing here anyway? Well, no matter what happened, he had a lot to get off his chest, and if he didn’t do it now, he’d never get it over with. “You know. Us.”
“Yeah,” you finally relented. “I do.”
“Where did we go wrong?” he asked, his question ending with a chuckle.
“I fell in love with you,” you replied, your eyes fixed on the cup of coffee in your hands.
“How long?”
“Since as long as I could remember.” There was a long pause, and you wished the Earth could swallow you whole. “I shouldn’t have,” you confessed. “I should have stopped loving you the moment you started dating Sookyung.”
“Why?”
“Because then maybe we wouldn’t be here right now. You would still be with Sookyung and I’d—”
“I don’t love her.”
The words were colder than the winter air that swept against your cheeks. Seungcheol looked at you, as if he was looking for an answer.
“I mean, I did love her, but not like I loved you.”
Loved. Past tense.
“Then why?”
“You were with Yanan.”
“But we broke up.” Somehow, the coffee no longer seemed appetizing, the smell only nauseating you. You stood up and walked back to the kitchen where you dumped it into the sink.
“I thought… maybe we weren’t meant to be.”
“But you and Sookyung were?” You looked up, but Seungcheol was no longer on the couch—instead, he had followed you into the kitchen, leaning against the threshold as he curiously watched you wash the cup.
He shrugged. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Instead, he gave you an answer: “I thought we were.��
Silence, and then a beat.
“You were my best friend, you know?”
Yeah, you knew perfectly well.
“And best friends don’t fall in love.”
No, they don’t.
“And I think I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“The consequences.”
“Of?”
“Telling you.” Seungcheol wished you would look at him, but he understood that you were nervous—he was, too.
You knew exactly what he meant, and now you understood maybe why you were in the position you were in.
“We’re cowards,” you laughed, pausing your mindless dishwashing.
“Yeah, we are, aren’t we?” he let out a hearty chuckle. Maybe, instead of dating Sookyung to cope with your relationship with Yanan, he should have fought harder for you. But he was young and stupid. You both were.
Perhaps neither of you would be in this impossible situation had you just been honest with one another in the first place, regardless of the consequences.
“Hey,” he said. He was now standing right next to you, grabbing the mug from your hands and placing it in the sink carefully. Goosebumps formed on your arm when you felt his skin on yours, his rough hands taking hold of your own. “Let’s start over, okay?” Squeezing your hand with intent, he leaned forward to look you in the eyes, his face serious and without a shred of doubt. “Let’s… let’s start over and do this the right way.”
You froze. This was the moment you had been waiting for who knows how long, but why did that voice inside you keep telling you no? They say the eyes are the window to the soul, yet when Seungcheol looked into yours, he had a hard time reading what could possibly be running through your head right now.
“Come on,” he said, closing the gap between you. You didn’t know it was possible to be even closer than you already were, but he managed to do it. “What do you say?”
You had spent countless days and nights dreaming of the day you would be this close to Seungcheol, your hands in his, his face so close you could feel his breath ghosting over your lips. You were so close, in fact, that one miniscule movement and you would finally know what it feels like to feel his lips, to taste them.
You stepped back, pulling your hands out of his grip, the only thing your head could do was shake back and forth. “No…” you whispered. “I-I can’t.”
His eyebrows furrow at your words as if he doesn’t quite process what he’s hearing. “What?”
“We can’t, Cheol.”
“What do you mean we can’t?” Concern grew on his face as he tried to close the space between you, but you only stepped back in reflex.
“We just can’t.”
“You’re not making sense.” You could sense the annoyance interlaced in his voice, but you understood why. “Explain it to me so I can understand why.”
“It’s too late. For you. For me. The damage has been done. We can’t go back in time, we can’t undo the years of longing and pining, and we can’t just… start over.”
“Why not?”
“You still don’t understand?”
“No. I don’t.”
“We hurt each other. And not just each other, but others, too. Look at Sookyung—”
And that’s when Seungcheol understood exactly what you were saying. Or, rather, what you were trying to convince him of, if not yourself.
“Stop—”
“You married her and you were supposed to be together forever, but then you guys got divorced because of me—” you continued to ramble on, your eyes staring out at the sunlight sparkling on the surface of the water, completely unaware that Seungcheol was approaching you again.
“Stop!” Seungcheol’s loud voice echoed in your quiet apartment. “When are you going to stop making up excuses and blaming others for your own fears?”
The blood in your veins began to boil at his accusations. “I’m not blaming anyone.”
“You are. You said we were cowards. But you? You still are.”
“I am not,” you contested, raising your voice to match his.
“Then why? Why won’t you stop being afraid and take a chance?” He paused. Realizing he had been shouting, he lowered his voice and continued, “With me?”
You could no longer face him, turning around to hide the tears that threaten to fall. The only sound in your apartment now was the ticking of your clock and your and Seungcheol’s heavy breathing.
You jumped when you felt his hands wrap around your arms and turn you around to face him. “Look at me.”
“Cheol, please—”
“I said, look at me.” When your gaze met his, his fingers loosened their grip and his face softened. “I’m going to say something, but I need you to let me finish, okay?”
You nodded hesitantly.
“We can start over—”
“Seungcheol—”
“Listen, please. We’ve spent our whole lives lying to each other—to ourselves—but now? Now, we can finally be honest. We can be honest about how we feel and we can start over.”
Your heart palpitated in your chest, and despite the embarrassment that grew within you, you never once took your eyes off of him.
“I’ll start,” he continued. “I can’t lie to you, or myself, anymore. I love you. I am in love with you.” You could have swore your heart shattered upon hearing those words come from his lips. “You are the woman I’ve always wanted to be with, ever since we were young. I loved you then, and I love you now. And I’ll love you until the end of our days. This past year, you’ve been the only one I could think about—from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes—no, even after I fall asleep, you’re the only person on my mind. Do you know how often I wanted to call you? To ask you how you were? If you were eating well? If maybe you had found someone who was deserving of your love? Do you know how worried I was on the drive over, asking myself if this was the right thing to do?” He took a deep breath before continuing, “But now that you’re here in front of me, I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life, which is how much I love you, and how I’d regret it every day of my life if I didn’t tell you how I feel.
“I know you’re scared, because honestly, I’m just as scared as you are. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but if I’m going to find out, I want to do it with you. Together. So, please, don’t be afraid and trust me.”
By now, tears were streaming down your cheeks at full force, the words you wanted to stay lodged in your throat. Your eyes fell to the ground.
“The only thing that will get me to leave,” Seungcheol said, his voice the quietest it had been all day, “is if you tell me you don’t love me.”
You bit your lip which only made the dread in his heart worse. Perhaps he really had made a mistake.
“Seungcheol, I don’t know what to say.”
“Just tell me. I can handle it.” He was lying, though, of course. Because if you really told him that you didn’t love him, he felt as if his whole world might crumble.
Your brain went into overdrive trying to process his confession, let alone find the right words to formulate a response. Seungcheol could hear his heartbeat in his own ears, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest.
“You’re right,” you whisper. “I’m scared. I’m scared because I don’t want to get hurt. Again. Or worse, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You could never hurt me,” he assured you.
“You know that’s not true.” Your eyes shot up from the ground and you were met with his own, tears pooling in the corners. “I’ve hurt you, Cheol. You have every reason to hate me. I ended your marriage—”
“What happened to Sookyung and I was entirely our own fault, and no one else’s. I don’t want you to ever blame yourself for that, okay?”
You shook your head. “What if I hurt you again?”
“Would you? Intentionally?”
“No, but—”
“Then you have nothing to worry about. We’ve come way too far now to go back, but that doesn’t mean we can’t start over. Fresh. Clean page. Just you and me, the way it’s supposed to be.”
“Cheol—”
“Do you trust me?”
“Seungcheol, I—”
“Do you trust me?” His hands wrapped around your cheeks as he stared into your eyes with a longing look.
“I love you.” The words fall from your mouth with much more ease than anticipated, and it’s not long before your foreheads are pressed together.
“Say it again.”
“I love you,” you breathed out the words again and looked him straight in the eyes before continuing, “Cheol.”
Without another second to wait, he lifted your chin and pressed his lips against yours, so soft and gentle as to not break you any further than he already had. He could feel your tears on his cheeks, but when he pulled away to check on you, you only grasped onto his face and pulled him back.
Every worry, every fear that used to plague your thoughts melted away with his touch. For the first time in a really long time, everything felt right, clicking into place as simple as that.
If you could kiss him for the rest of your life, you absolutely would have, but the whole day had taken its toll on you and the crying didn’t seem to help either. Instead, Seungcheol simply wiped your tears and the two of you fell asleep on the couch, arms wrapped tightly around each other as if to say, I will never let you go. Not again. Not this time. Never.
When you woke up, your body was sore from having been in that position for a few hours. You adjusted your head to take a good look at your best friend who was still asleep, breathing softly as the golden glow of the setting sun seeped through your windows, illuminating the edges of his face.
Finally, he could sleep. But he was awoken by the faint grumbling of your stomach. He opened one eye and looked curiously at you, causing you to shove your face into his chest from embarrassment. There was a resounding vibration when he laughed. “Someone’s hungry,” he chuckled, his voice deep and raspy but sounding like music to your ears.
“Stop,” you whined. There was something strange about being so close, so intimate, with him. It brought you back to your high school days, that feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you’d see him walk the halls. If only you had known your true feelings then…
But what mattered was the fact that you were here, with him, right now. What mattered was that now you had been able to be honest with him, with yourself, and when you were in his arms like this, everything finally felt right in the world.
Sure, it would be strange getting used to calling him not only your best friend, but your boyfriend—yet, it was a welcome change, one you knew you would adjust to in no time.
“Should we eat?” Seungcheol asked.
“Mm, I’m not that hungry,” you lied, but your stomach betrayed you, grumbling again.
“I thought we agreed not to lie to each other anymore,” he teased.
“Fine, we should eat. But I just want ten more minutes.”
“To do what?”
“To stay like this,” you told him, tightening your grip around his waist as you close your eyes and bury your face in his body. With a gentle kiss on the top of your head, Seungcheol happily obliged and the two of you remained on that couch for longer than ten minutes.
You were finally his tonight. And you would be tomorrow. And the day after.
Forever and always.
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some soft!bakugou brainrot for the soul:
-he likes when you greet him in the morning. will absolutely roll his eyes and say sum “jesus, idiot, it’s too fuckin’ early for pathetic enthusiam like that” but will also simultaneously get pouty if u dont say hi to him first
-very much a quiet boy when it’s late at night. will just sit back with his eyes half-lidded and head in his hands, giving a little “mhm” to everything you say. you think he’s not listening but when you don’t finish a thought he will, without missing a beat go “the hell? really? gonna talk that much and then not even finish the story?”
-will cook meals that you like but will insist that he likes them too. bakugou is 100% trying to convince you that he made it for himself but the entire extra portion with your favorite toppings implies the opposite
-pays attention to what you’re doing in training, and will not outright tell you if you’re doing well,, but when ur alone he’ll just sorta “you looked less pathetic than last time, dumbass” with a slight smirk as he brushes past you
-likes to bicker,, i mean come on, obviously, but what i mean is that he just looks so weirdly happy when u yell at him (def goes heart eyes but literally do not say a word about it pls)
-goes very soft for hand massages,,, just like, ground ur thumb into the heel of his hand and rub at his knuckles. man’s will melt into wherever he’s sitting and close his eyes
-will absolutely bite your head off if you’re reckless, but then spend the rest of his time trying to think of ways to avoid u ever being in that much danger again
-remembers places you’ve been together very clearly. so like, if y’all wanna revisit some restaurant, bakugou is leading the way and ur just like “??? that was 6 months ago how do u know where you’re going” ,, n he just scoffs and “because i’m the best. now shut up and pay attention we’re about to cross the street”
-is very soft about u wearing his clothes but only when no one else is around to see it. idk contrary to popular belief i actually see him being very flustered by the sight of u in his clothes. so he won’t let u wear anything around others rlly, but when it’s just him??? poor bby is so soft for it. like, v much hiding his red face in your neck and just breathing u in type of soft
-has a specific blanket that he keeps for when u hang out. eventually it starts to smell like you, bc obviously, n he’ll cuddle up with it when you can’t be with him
-adores when you sing to him. 100% doesn’t matter if you’re good or not,, bakugou just likes that you don’t do it in front of anyone else
-likes when you get needlessly angry with him. idk how to explain it,, but just like, if he’s bitching at one of his friends and you back him up, purely bc u like the chaos, bakugou will be totally 🥰 over it. only after he’s done yelling tho
-mans has a thing for praise. he does. we been knew. but he rlly has an even bigger thing for mundane praise, like rlly small things like, “wow your handwriting is so neat” or “omg your room is so clean! you’re so organized!”,,, jus tiny stuff in passing that let’s him kno he’s doing good
-will absolutely not admit it but he 100% prays for lint on his uniform so you’ll brush it off for him. it’s like, a tiny little touch, just enough to sate him, but not so much that it feels like embarrassing pda
-is a sucker for someone he can just sit in silence with. like idk, if y’all noticed it, but he literally has like, nothing to say when he’s not bitching, so if he’s not angry he’ll just be quiet. if u can be quiet with him, in the same space but not talking, bakugou is a very happy boy about it
-he likes to know things about you no one else does,, so if u tell him anything in confidence, literally anything, he’ll keep it secret. 100% every time, no exceptions, will never spill a single detail even if someone is begging him to
-probably demands that u say u love him multiple times before y’all go to sleep. its the only affection he outright asks for so u give in every time
-shares whatever he has with u. just wordlessly will hand u a piece of whatever he’s eating. doesn’t warn u if it’s spicy tho,, bc he’s still a little shit
-sort of just follows you wherever you’re going. like, if u tell him u want to be alone he’ll leave, but otherwise he just kinda assumes he’s meant to follow. most times he’s right
-he is 100% the type to know something is wrong without u having to say it. he prob knows exactly what it is too. lmao like, sure, he’s still totally clueless on how to approach/support you but bakugou is the furthest thing from dumb. he knows,, he just does.
-gets super protective about your things. like, god forbid somebody try to write anything in ur notebook while you’re not paying attention,, bakugou’ll threaten them before their pen even touches the paper
-he likes to tend to your injuries. like, even the rlly minor ones. like, let’s say u get a papercut??? pls mans is grabbing your finger, running it under water, and wrapping a bandaid around it before u even register it. he’ll grumble the whole time like “jesus, dumbass, can’t believe i have to do this.” but rlly he enjoys doing it bc it makes him feel important. like maybe he’s someone heroic to u
-if no one else is around, and there’s a lot of trust established, he’ll prob do whatever u tell him to. now ofc there’s gonna be a lot of complaining, bc it’s bakugou, but he’ll do it
-is a big fan of when you tell him he’s your favorite. pls the man is so see-through ahaha,, u could be like “omg! bakugou! you took out the trash without me asking?? that’s why you’re my favorite!” n all he walks away hearing is “they think im the best. i fucking am the best.”
-he likes to watch you do mundane things. like rlly little, every-day things like brushing your hair or tying your shoes. idk he just thinks your methodical movements are weirdly calming
-is a sucker for forehead kisses. like obvi, only when y’all are alone, but like, press a kiss to his hairline?? suddenly it’s rip angry bakugou, soft bakugou hrs only
-doesn’t rlly initiate touch that much,, but when he does mans is extremely petulant about it. like, if u decide u have something more pressing than him, bakugou is almost immeadiately going “that’s fucking stupid. what you’re doing. you should stop.” n then he’s just poking and prodding and needling at u until u fall into his arms
-shadows you at social gatherings. very guard-dog like from an outsider perspective, but rlly it’s just bc when katsuki says he doesn’t like anyone else, he means it. he’s sticking by you bc you truly are the only one he tolerates
-he secretly rlly likes when u fuss over him. like, when u ask him if he’s sore from training or if he has any injuries. bakugou will brush u off like the absolute bitch that he is, but secretly he’ll be so warm about it. he just likes that u care enough to ask
-he tries very hard to be gentle for u. ofc it pretty much never works bc it’s him, but he’ll still forever be reading romance manga n going “yeah, i bet they’d like that. gonna it do it way better though. im the fucking best, i can do it.”
ahahaaha me?? a bunch of bakugou thoughts?? never, idk what ur on about
#bnha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha fic#mha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugou headcanons
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Hi. Could i request what it would be like to have a crush on maki and nobara and them having a crush on you(both separate scenarios, fem reader) but you're also gojo's younger sister so i feel like he'd be a little shit abt it whenever he catches reader staring or sum shit. And basically how the whole realizing its a crush and how to whole confession goes down, who confesses, and everyones reaction esp gojo bc he's gojo yk.
I hope this wasnt to much or too specific for you and have a good day. Cant wait to read😍
This is really cute and I had a lot of fun writing this one. Sorry it took so long but its finally ready.
Enjoy🥰
What it Would Be Like to Have a Crush on Nobara and Maki as Gojo's Little Sister:
WC: 2.3k
Nobara Kugisaki
Being the younger sister to 'The Strongest Sorcerer' was not an easy task. Yeah sure you loved him and everything but he just needs to shut his mouth sometimes. You guys were pretty close growing up despite your large age gap, he was the best big brother you could have asked for......sometimes. The current situation had arisen after you joined your brother's class in the first year at Jujutsu Tech. You got along with the other students instantly. Going on missions with each other, spending nights watching movies, and eating as much pizza as you could fit in your mouth. You loved and cared for all of them but one, in particular, held a special place in your heart. Nobara Kugisaki was the most beautiful girl you had ever laid eyes on. Her short red hair and deep brown eyes you could get lost in. Her confident attitude and tendencies to take charge in intense situations drew her to you. As much as you tried to hide your feelings for the sake of your friendship, it was very obvious to someone else. The day was moving very slowly as you sat in class, not paying attention to what was happening. Your eyes started to drift to the redhead, sitting diagonally in front of you. From this angle, she wouldn't be able to see you admiring her delicate facial features or the way she would smile whenever Yuji confidently got an answer wrong.
"Y/N, have anything to share with the class? It looks like your zoning out there."
You snap your head forward at the call of your name. Your older brother has a smug look on his face, he knew what he was doing. You apologize for your lack of focus and the lesson continues. Asshole.
After class Gojo calls you to stay back a bit. You knew what he wanted to talk about so you reluctantly stayed behind.
"So, what did you wanna talk about?" You ask, pretending to have no idea what he's talking about.
"You seemed awful distracted during class today. Wanna tell me why." He had his stupid smile plastered over his face.
"I didn't sleep well last night. I was just thinking about stuff." You tried to ignore the blush slowly creeping up your neck.
"Yeah, think about Kugisaki." He laughed. At this point, your face was feeling hot with embarrassment.
"That's not-NO I-" You couldn't think of the right words to say after your brother exposing you like that, covering your face in your hands out of embarrassment.
"Awwwwwww, look at that. My little sister has a crush." He swayed back and forth on the balls of his feet as he teased you.
"I don't." You said with a serious look on your face in hopes of throwing him off your trail.
"Yeah right. I can smell a lie from miles away." You couldn't outsmart him. Guess all that was left to do was come clean.
"Fine, I do. Can I go now?" You were already tired from your long day at school and now you had to put up with his antics.
"That's cute. You know, I think she likes you two." You looked back at him almost offended. Did he think he could trick you into believing that?
"Yeah right. I get that your power is great but your six eyes can't read people's minds."
"Not their minds but any normal person can read body language. She's always so entranced by the way you speak or how she laughs at your horrible jokes." As you listened to your brother he started to make sense. You always assumed that she was only being a good friend, that you were the one captivated by her.
"Whatever, now can I go?" You asked annoyed.
"Maybe I should tell her about your little feelings." He smirked as you started to walk away.
"Tell her anything and I swear I will pull those pretty little eyes out of your head." You threatened but all he did was laugh.
"Fine, fine. I won't say anything but you should tell her. Life is short Y/N." He patted your shoulder and he left the room. You quickly chased after your brother.
"What should I say to her? I don't know how to do this," you asked, feeling defeated by your own emotions. You expected a smart-ass response from him but he only stood quietly, thinking over what to say.
"Just tell her how you feel, oh, and what you like about her." You didn't expect him to take your question seriously. Looking at him, he pulled his blindfold down. You saw the sincerity in his eyes as he gave you his advice.
"Be honest, don't shy away from what you want or else you'll end up regretting it." You smiled. You never really had a moment like this between the two of you before since Gojo was usually all fun and games but it felt nice to open up to him.
"You know, you give good advice when you're not being an asshole." You poke his side.
"That's why I'm the best big brother." He slung an arm over your shoulder (Why does this man need to be so damn tall) and you two walked back to the dorms.
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The next day quickly arrived. You had spent all night planning what you were going to say to Nobara when the two of you had a moment alone. As if he was playing cupid, Gojo separated the class so that you and Nobara had time alone to work while Megumi and Yuji trained in a different area. The two of you had all your books laid out messily over the picnic table outside. She needs a little bit of help before the next big test so you offered to help.
"I'm so glad you hear to help me. I suck at this." You brushed it off and continued working through some questions. Now or Never you thought.
"Hey Nobara, random question. I was thinking of telling my crush I like them, any idea's on what I should do?" The question was open-ended enough. She looked up a bit confused and slightly hurt.
"Oh, umm. I don't know. I've never really done anything like that." She looked back down as if you never asked the question and continued to work.
"I was only wondering cause I like this person and I wanted to finally tell them. I was thinking of just being upfront about it but maybe you know a better way?"
"I think being upfront about it is good." She stopped working and looked up at you. You found yourself staring into her eyes, not able to look away.
"I...I really, really like you Nobara." You said out loud. After looking at her you knew that you couldn't hold back anymore. The way her hair perfectly framed her rosy cheeks made you feel warm inside. Her eyes opened in shock at your confession. She sat there not saying anything as her face began to turn red.
"I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry, just pretend like i-"
"I like you too." She blurted out, cutting your sentence short. Gojo was right (which wasn't a common occurrence).
"Wait?" You were in complete shock. She slowly nodded her head as she tried to hide the flustered look on her face. You started to laugh causing her to smile at you.
"I don't know what to say." Your face felt hot after your confession.
"Don't say anything." You looked to her, confused by her words. Making eye contact, she leaned in and your lips met finally. It was a slow and tender kiss, one of happiness and bliss. Her lips were plump and soft on yours. You reached and cupped her face in your hand as you deepened the kiss. You pulled away out of shock and need for air. Her eyes were full of love as her face was tinted a light shade of pink. You didn't know how to respond to the situation.
"I knew it!" You both looked to the side where Gojo was standing with Megumi and Yuji behind him. The basted had the biggest smile on his face. Megumi had a subtle shocked look while Yuji's jaw hit the floor. You both looked away after getting caught. Gojo came up behind you and started talking about how he was right and pestering you while your two other classmates just watched their teacher harass the two of you.
"look at my little sister all grown up." He grabbed your chin and smushed your cheeks in his large hand.
"Stop it Satoru." You waved him off of you.
"Say I'm the best big brother and I'll leave you alone."
"Not happening." He slouched over your shoulder. His tall and lanky frame doubling over you.
"Okay fine, you the best big brother."
"Ever?"
"Ever." He stood up tall and congratulated the two of you. Nobara still reeling from embarrassment.
"Usually I would give you two a long speech about you getting pregnant but I don't think I need to worry about that."
"Satoru!" You shouted as he ran away.
Maki Zenin
Being a second year at Jujutsu tech meant you didn't have to put up with your older brother as your teacher anymore. The freedom you felt was overwhelming. You got to know your fellow second years quite well during your time. You and panda like to brawl with each other now and then. You can understand Toge quite well now. The person you were the closest with by far was Maki Zenin. As the only two girls in your year, you guys spend a lot of time together. Where spending hours talking when you should be sleeping or trying to outdo each other at Mario cart (Currently you are in the lead) you guys were inseparable, practically joined at the hip. Because you guys were so close you started to catch feelings for her very quickly while in your first year but you brushed it off as a sisterly like love. After growing and realizing just how much you truly cared for her you started to confide in your older brother, Gojo. You two became quite close while you attended Jujutsu Tech so much so that you started to have proper grown-up conversations (Or as grown-up as Gojo can be). He would make fun of you for your feeling but you could make just as much fun of him when it came to him not knowing how to be a real adult. Make fun of how skinny he is and he will fold like a lawn chair.
It was just another day after class. It was boiling outside and the school didn't have good air conditioning in their classes so you decided to go bother your brother in the staff lounge.
"You know your not supposed to be in here," Gojo said while on his phone. You plopped down on the long couch, dying of heatstroke.
"What are you gonna do? Kick me out. I'd like to see you try." You guys sat in silence for a minute while you recovered your strength to talk to him.
"It is so hot outside." You mutter.
"I think that's what happens during the summer." He responds with a smirk. You just grumble at him.
"You talk to Maki yet?" He quickly changed the subject. He's been on your ass about it ever since you told you were going to tell her your feeling...2 months ago.
"I'll do it when I want to. What do you know about feeling." You said rhetorically.
"I am an expert on love. I have had my fair share of it."
"Sleeping with anybody who takes the slightest interest in you isn't love, it's called being a man whore."
"Hey, take that back!" He pointed at you all dramatic-like. He knew it was true but hearing it come out of his little sister's mouth had a different impact.
"No. Your a man child who never considers other people's feelings so that makes you a man whore." You smile at him. He started at you with a competitive grin.
"I think I need to go have a little conversation with Maki." Gojo then teleported out of the room before you could grab a hold of him. Before thinking about it, you sprinted out of the room to find him. Running up and down the halls, you found the two of them talking in the main corridor. You run-up to the two of them out of breath from sprinting in the heat.
"So Maki-san. What do you have to say about this." You look to Gojo horrified. Did he tell her about your true feelings? Looking to Maki who had a relatively calm look on her face.
"I mean I feel the same way, I don't know why you had to make such a big deal of it Gojo-sensei." You were startled by her words. Did she like you? Gojo backed up a bit to give you some space but he stayed close enough to hear you two.
"Wait really, you do?"
"Yeah of course." She seemed so calm it was almost scary.
"Maki I, I really like you. Like a lot. I was scared to say anything cause I didn't want to ruin our friendship." You blushed after finally coming clean.
"Wait, what?" She looked shocked and confused. You looked horrified.
"What did he say to you?"
"Umm, he said that you were happy to have me as a best friend." That asshole. He tricked you into confessing.
"I'm sorry I sh-"
"No, I...kinda like you too." Maki looked down a bit. Her golden eyes portray strong emotions. After all the confusion you didn't know how to react. You brought her into a tight hug and snuggled your face into her neck to which she reciprocated. You pulled back and pecked her check causing her to get flustered.
"Haha, I'm the best." Gojo stood next to the two of you feeling accomplished in himself. You ran and tackled him to the floor.
"I am going to hurt you so bad."
#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#maki x reader#nobara x reader#gojo saturo#nobara supremacy#maki supremacy#maki zenin#nobara kugisaki
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for you + yoon jeonghan
everyone in his life described you as his weakness, and he couldn’t even argue.
part one | part two
wc.10234 (LMAO) | fluff, smut, humor, etl/uni!au, ~new relationship stuff~, gender neutral pronouns for reader (but they have a pussy sorry), vague softdom/brattysub dynamics (guess who’s who!), there are - count em - 4 different sex scenes, more bff!gyu, filth, language, you know the drill, reader gets a lil tender, so does han, *sniffles* they just suit each other so well, please use condoms
this is where i admit that i wrote 20k of enemies to lovers garbage all based off a single line in falling for u, where they say they meant to drink a coffee with you but they accidentally chugged it bc theyre nervous. yup! all this mess for that one line! this is incredibly self indulgent and i apologize but also i don't because i needed this
~
visual culture was your new favorite class.
while there was absolutely no trouble making time to spend with jeonghan, your previous meditation time served as an allocated two hours every week where you could just sit and mess around with the boy you had growing affections for. the two of you would chat in hushed tones as the professor lectured, jeonghan’s fingertips tracing invisible patterns on your thigh as you diligently untangled his headphone cord for him, his thumb nails having been chewed too short to do it himself. he would bring you coffee on thursdays, when it was his only class of the day but your third and last. the caffeine was a well accepted afternoon pickmeup, and he never let you go after class without taking you out for lunch somewhere, claiming to be celebrating the end of your school day. then you might as well just come over to his apartment, he’d tell you. his place was closer than yours, he’d explain, swinging your hand in his. you didn’t wanna say goodbye yet, did you? afterall, the night’s still young, he’d tease, luring you with the promise of kisses between droopy eyed smiles.
jeonghan had become the complete opposite of your initial impression. he was sweet to you, genuinely, and if you liked him any less, you would say he was obsessed. you do say that, occasionally, when you’re hanging out with your friends and he texts you some purposefully cheesy line knowing it would make you roll your eyes, forcing you to mention him to your questioning friends, but you never truly meant it. you’d be a liar if you said every eye roll wasn’t just to cover up the faint feeling of butterflies in your gut. he always knew exactly how to make you want to see him, and you never hesitated to tell him when you did.
on one such day, when you had told him that if you went home you would need him to drive you into the woods and help you dig your roommate a clandestine grave, he stopped by your friend’s apartment after a shift, waiting dutifully by the door with his shoes still on and his hands shoved into his jean pockets as you searched the kitchen counter for your keys.
“serious, mingyu, what did you do with them? i know i left them next to the toaster.”
“i used your bottle opener, but i swear i put them on the coffee table,” he said, pushing back his hair as he looked around the small living room.
jeonghan watched you and mingyu tear apart the couch, trying to ignore the roommate that was leaning against the wall, eyeing him.
“where do you live?”
jeonghan blinked and looked at him. “uh, my apartment’s a couple streets over and a few-”
“roommates?” minghao watched as the older straightened his spine involuntarily, arms folded across his chest as he appraised his friend’s new chew toy.
“yeah, three,” he responded. minghao kept eyeing him. he fidgeted under the gaze, then coughed to clear his throat. for some reason unknown to even him, he said “they’re good people,” as though he was seeking some kind of approval.
minghao nodded slowly. “they act tough but they’re not. if you break their heart, i’ll break you.”
“what?”
“y/n,” he said, causing you to perk your head up from across the room while simultaneously clarifying. he lifted his hand and jangled your keys, holding them by the novelty hulk fist bottle opener. “found ‘em.”
“jesus christ, myungho, you had them the whole time?” you exhaled sharply, shoving a couch cushion back where it was meant to be. “don’t be a prick.”
you snagged the keys from him and shoved your feet into your shoes, taking the bag that jeonghan was holding for you.
“wo ai ni.”
you batted at minghao’s arm. “yeah, whatever. love you, too. see you guys later?”
mingyu threw up a peace sign from the couch, where he had promptly laid himself out after the search for keys had ceased, and minghao smiled as he waved you off and closed the door behind you.
you asked how work was, and jeonghan sighed, describing it shortly as work, but said he was glad it was over so that he could spend some time with you.
you giggled, knocking shoulders and slyly lacing your fingers between his. “cheesy.”
he gave you your favorite sideways smile, though he didn’t know it was your favorite, and you, again, ignored the flitting in your stomach that he always seemed to cause. “so, uh… myungho…”
you exhaled. “what did he say to you?”
“nothing, really,” he said quickly, knowing you would get mad at your friend if he told you the full truth. “i was just kind of curious if you two had ever, y'know…”
you looked at jeonghan. “you’re not jealous, are you?”
he looked back. “i don’t have reason to be, do i?”
“of course not,” you said, pulling your bag up on your shoulder. “i’ve kissed hao once, on a drunk dare, and we both agreed to never try it again. he’s like a brother.”
jeonghan nodded, thinking about the protective stance the tall lean man had taken when he tried (and maybe succeeded, though jeonghan would never admit it) to intimidate him. no matter the vibe he got, he trusted you, and he understood the intent - however, you made him want to do everything in his power to keep you happy, so he didn’t think this myungho character had much to worry about.
“oh my god, hannie,” you gripped his hand tighter, your other hand clutching his elbow. “look at that dog.”
he laughed and followed your gaze across the street to the pom that was nose up, walking beside its owner. “cute.”
“isn’t it?” you sighed. “god, i want a dog. i hate living in a dorm. i hate my roommate.”
“move out, then.”
“and go where? back to my parents’ place?”
he rolled his eyes. “into the apartment you practically live at anyways.”
“dumb, dumber, and dumbest?” you scoffed. “i would kill all three of them in under a week.”
jeonghan wondered which was which, then pushed the temptation to mention his idea of you living with him out of his brain. “sounds like you’re shit outta luck.”
you sighed, craning your neck to steal a look at the dog again. “i guess you’ll just have to get a dog for me.”
he smiled back, eyes lingering on your face even after your gaze went back to the scenery. “i have a question.”
you blinked at him. “yes?”
he watched a cloud for a second. “what do you call me?”
“hannie.”
he laughed. “i mean to your friends.”
you eyed him sideways. “are you trying to trick me into calling you my boyfriend?”
he eyed you back, a smile teasing his lips. “are you admitting that you call me your boyfriend?”
“what do you call me to your friends, then?”
“y/n.”
you rolled your eyes. “you’re the most annoying person i’ve ever met.”
“woooow,” he went, sighing and pulling his hand from yours to shove it in his pocket. “here i was thinking we were in a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.”
you giggled, tugging on his arm. “oh, shut up. we are. you call me by my name, and i call you by yours. that’s as mutually respectful as we can get.”
jeonghan rolled his eyes, but allowed you to pull his hand out of his pocket and put your fingers between his again. he had never been the type to hold hands in public, but with you it felt right. “whatever. it’s only been a month. i’ll break you eventually.”
you exhaled. “if you want me to tell people you’re my boyfriend, you just have to ask.”
“why would i want that?”
you pouted. “i dunno, i thought maybe you liked me or something.”
he squeezed your hand. “don’t flatter yourself.”
you laughed, forcing a smile onto jeonghan’s face, and he didn’t stop you when you changed the subject to the fact that mingyu had informed you that a dissected sheep brain looks a little too close to ssamgyeopsal for comfort.
one day, he told you that he thought you’d be different, back before you started dating. you were gentler than he imagined, despite your continued quick wit and sharp tongue. sweeter.
“i dunno,” he said, leaning back against the couch with your head in his lap. “in my head you would just be mean all the time.”
you didn’t take it as an insult. “the version of me you created in your head is no responsibility of mine.”
jeonghan thought you were beyond incredible. while his original judgement of you being rude, pretentious, and, well, mean hadn’t necessarily been wrong, he had found you to also be incredibly caring, thoughtful, and maybe the funniest person he had ever met. you would sigh about how broke you were that week, how you were sick of eating cup noodles, but you wouldn’t hesitate to spend the last of your budget on soju and kimbap for your friends on your walk to their apartment. you always picked up on his subtle mood changes - when he would press his hands to his temples as he tried to process his literature homework, your hand would sneak onto his thigh and squeeze his knee to remind him to let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, despite your eyes never leaving your own textbook. he swore he never saw jihoon laugh as hard as he did when you and mingyu went off on one of your stupid arguments that only best friends could have, especially after you called mingyu a “grey’s anatomy-worthy harassment claim waiting to happen.”
“seriously, why am i friends with you?” mingyu grabbed his drink from your hand and glared at you when he noticed how much lighter it was (you had said you didn’t want one but definitely stole more than one sip). “can anyone else stand this bitch?”
“i like them,” jeonghan said matter of factly, his chin in his hand and elbow on the table as he stared at you fondly.
mingyu rolled his eyes. “you don’t count, evil twin.”
jihoon had his back on the floor, hands on his face, still trying to recover from your grey’s anatomy joke, and mingyu’s twin comment only set him off again. you giggled as you watch him roll onto his side, and briefly looked around this new grouping you found yourself in, sat around the low table covered in takeout in jeonghan’s living room. “how come you call me every day, then, dr. hate-my-guts?”
“free therapy,” he said, not missing a beat as he shoved a massive spoonful of rice and meat into his mouth. jihoon coughed, and mingyu narrowly avoided laughing as he chewed.
“i don’t buy it,” jeonghan said, running a hand through his hair and leaning back on the other. he watched you steal from his plate. “i think you like y/n the same reason i do. they’re the first person that didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear just because you’re good looking.”
mingyu kept chewing as he stared at jeonghan, his almost tired gaze going to you before he spoke. “you guys are really made for each other, huh?”
you didn’t think it before, but everyone kept telling you two that, and it definitely served as a pretty good ego boost for the existing confidence in your newfound relationship. you, of course, enjoyed jeonghan’s company even more without the validating eye rolls and gagging noises from friends whenever one of you made some praising comment about the other. you thought he was funny when he was making scathing jokes at his friends’ expense, but you thought he was absolutely hilarious when he was muttering every stupid thought that popped into his head with the specific intention of making you laugh too loud as you laid with him in your bed, his hand rubbing your back, overly aware of the fact that your roommate was trying to study at their desk as you planted your hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter.
as more time passed, jeonghan found it increasingly annoying that you both shared bedrooms with other people, considering how easily you could tease him into a bothered red-eared state with just your words. times that the two of you had gotten yelled at by whoever had to witness to get a damn room, or whispers between drinks that turned into standing too closely at parties, catching each others lips teasingly. disappearing into a bedroom only to be interrupted before anything can happen by some combination of party-goers and friends that somehow always managed to ruin the mood for one or both of you in an extremely targeted way. you had managed to help each other get off, of course, and he loved the look of you sinking to your knees in a bathroom stall, gaze catching his while you unbuckled his belt, or the way you squirmed against him, stuck between a closet door and his hard place, your breath hitching as he dug his fingers deeper into you. both activities were satisfying in their own right, but it would never be enough for him.
then there was that frustrating time jihoon had walked in, catching you with your hand down jeonghan’s pants, and he would never forgive you for the way you hesitated to loosen your grip on him despite the interruption. those few seconds of sheer terror he had felt, making direct eye contact with his roommate with his dick hard and in a hand that wasn’t his, the only thing stopping you from continuing being his annoyed “can you let go, now?"
he had decided to get back at you, and he got the opportunity a week later, when he had woken up behind you in your bed with your laptop asking if you were still watching and your roommate sleeping only a meter or so away. his lips ghosting across your neck, rousing you from your shallow sleep just to find his hand gently squeezing your hip, running over your mound until you were begging him to slip it under your pajama shorts. he had to put his free hand over your mouth to keep you quiet as you melted under his touch, your toes curling against his shins as the string in you snapped, and you punched his chest when you finally rolled over and caught your breath for getting you so needy when you weren’t alone. he just giggled and looked at you, half lidded, then kissed you like he hadn’t just been muttering voyeuristic filth in your ear.
jihoon was going home for the weekend, and the second jeonghan had found out, he told you you weren’t allowed to make any plans and swapped his saturday shift with a coworker. you had laughed in his face when he told you he intended to keep you in bed the entire weekend, but part of you had been waiting just as much as he had.
on friday night, when the two of you were sitting on the couch watching some documentary that you could barely pay attention to, seungcheol asked again if you guys wanted to go to the bar with him and soonyoung.
"cheol, i swear to god,” jeonghan said, the arm over your shoulder stiffening as he pointed at his roommate. “if you ask one more time, we’re gonna fuck in your bed, and it will be messy.”
seungcheol groaned in disgust as you laughed. “fuck you, jeonghan. i was giving them an out.”
“sorry,” you said, your head leaning back against the arm. “i’ll try to get him to wash the sheets, but no promises.”
“you guys are so fucking gross,” seungcheol said, snatching his wallet off the counter and shoving it in his pocket as soonyoung came out from the bathroom. “we’re leaving before they jump each other. do you have everything? if you forgot something, we’re not coming back,” he said, pointing. “i’m not risking it.”
soonyoung patted all his pockets, nodded, then smiled and waved at you. “see you guys! use protection!”
“don’t take the sixth shot,” you warned, smiling and waving back. soonyoung laughed as he got shoved out the door by his roommate, and when it shut behind him, you felt a chill run up your spine for no good reason.
“we should probably wait a minute,” you said, turning back to jeonghan, who was already leaning into you and letting his gaze flicker unapologetically between your eyes and lips.
“or, and this is just a suggestion, we can decide that we’ve waited long enough and that if they come back after all of that they deserve to see whatever they see,” he pitched, his fingers already brushing against your jaw.
you blinked at him from only a breath away, his honeyed eyes putting a sweet taste in your mouth. you swallowed, your stomach feeling light suddenly. “or that.”
his lips were on yours as soon as the words left them, and your hand rose to grip the front of his shirt - one of the many plain shirts that seemed to rotate around the household. you fidgeted for a second, before deciding you were impatient and pulling away from him only to swing a leg over his and straddle his lap. he grinned at you, hands landing on your thighs, lips excitedly welcoming back yours.
you really enjoyed kissing jeonghan. he always started soft, gentle, with light caresses and reassurances of how beautiful he thought you were. though you never catch him applying any, you know he has a peach flavored lip balm hiding somewhere in his daily routine, and you tasted it on him as you dove a little deeper into him, his hands squeezing at your waist as your tongue dipped past his lips.
jeonghan also really enjoyed kissing you, which was both good and bad for him. good, of course, because you could happily trap him in liplock for hours, and he never got bored of your soft sighs and adoring touches and wanton noises. bad, though, because his enjoyment becomes incredibly obvious embarrassingly fast, and he wished he could wipe the smirk off your face as soon as you noticed, but he always found himself completely powerless against you when you decided there was something you wanted.
and so, jeonghan’s eyes flicked over your chest as you pulled off your shirt, tossing it to the side as you stood and spun around, planting your hands on his knees and spreading his thighs as you sat back directly on his already straining bulge.
“holy fuck,” he managed, fingers running over the soft fabric of your gray sweatpants before kneading at your ass. you wiggled against his grip before grinding down against him, satisfied by the reaction, loving how clearly you could feel him and the way he sucked in a breath. you made no effort to stifle the noise caused by feeling him against your already dampening core, even through far too many layers. he whipped of his shirt quickly, his hands running up your back, twisting over your waist and pulling your back against his chest. you felt his lips start at your shoulder, then a hand on your chest, then the other snaking down your stomach.
you chuckled lightly. “can’t take a lapdance?”
“from you?” his lips landed behind your ear. “absolutely not. you’ll make me cum, and i have other things i’d like to try first.”
you sighed, rolling your hips as deliberate fingers moved from your stomach to inner thigh. “ever the poet.”
he smirked against your neck. “try it again later. right now, you’re making me insane.”
“mm,” you agreed. “i’ll keep that bookmarked, then.”
“god, how are you this hot?” jeonghan almost laughed. “you’re so annoying, why are you so good at teasing me like this?”
you smirked as his hand ghosted over your core. “yoon jeonghan, you make it incredibly fun to tease you.”
“i refuse to believe that it’s my fault you’re this sexy,” he said, drinking in the way your head dropped to his shoulder and a moan fell from your lips as he ran a finger up your slit. even through fabric, he felt the arousal gathering at your core, making his cock jump against your ass. you smiled, a hand snaking against his scalp, tugging gently at the hair at the base of his skull as he bumped over your clit, his reactionary groan matching yours.
“baby,” you whispered, your breath hot against jeonghan’s lips. “please.”
he licked his lips, tongue almost brushing yours in the process, using his hand on your waist to grind himself against you. “please what, darling?”
“fingers, jeonghan,” you whimpered, arching your back against his chest slightly in hopes to get friction against him, but he stopped his grinding as you did. you huffed. “please, i need you.”
he nudged at your jaw, making you roll your head as he planted his lips on your neck. his fingers undid the drawstring of your sweats to comfortably push under the fabric, and he let out a sigh as he didn’t find another layer.
“you’re evil.”
you giggled, gasping as his fingers quickly ran through your wetness. “and it turns you on.”
you let out a prolonged moan as he pushed his middle finger into you easily, sucking the base of your neck between his teeth. you gripped him, nails surely leaving crescents against his neck as he groaned about how absurdly wet you were, and you said something about how he was in no position to tease when you could feel every time his dick throbbed against you. he asked if you were dirty enough to admit how long you hadn’t been wearing underwear, and he watched you lick your lips before you told him all day. he smirked when you brought your lips to his, moaning against him as he pushed a second finger into you.
his fingers curled deliciously against pressure points, making you gasp as you tightened around them. jeonghan watched your heavy eyelids as you tried to focus on him, he watched your chest rise and fall as it flushed. he brought his free hand up to pinch your already puckered nipple, your temple landing on his cheek in an attempt to hold yourself together.
“i can tell you’re close,” he teased, and you only whined in response, eyes squeezing shut as his palm rubbed at your clit with the gentle movement of his fingers curling in you. “are you gonna cum on my hand, darling?”
you nodded hurriedly, your fingers curling in his hair, then opened your eyes to find his. he smiled at you, which only made you feel as though your world was crumbling. your back arched against his chest again as you came, and he held you by your core as you squeezed at his fingers, lips leaving repeated kisses across your cheek and neck.
despite the orgasm, you couldn’t help but continue to grind down against jeonghan’s hand, and he indulged your neediness by pumping them into you again before slipping his fingers out of you and pushing you forwards. “wallet.”
you groaned, pushing your ass back against him, smiling at the way his hand tensed on your side. “no please?”
he stared at where you were rubbing against his length. “i’m either cumming in a condom or your ass. your choice.”
he gave you a smug look when you turned your head to giggle at him, but his face almost completely dropped when he realized you were considering it.
“okay,” you said. “condom. this time.”
jeonghan’s cock flinched against you again, to which you responded with a wiggle before pushing off him and walking to the kitchen to retrieve a foil packet from his wallet, leaving him staring after you dumbly. when you turned around to walk back towards him, he had shoved his pants over his knees, leaning back heavily as he stroked himself using the hand you had so graciously wet for him. you gulped involuntarily, suddenly aware of how much saliva was gathering around your tongue as you tore open the condom.
he watched you kneel between his knees, his hand stilling at the base of his cock as you lapped a wet line up the underside of it, tongue swirling over his head. he tasted like you, and you had to swallow again before you rolled the condom onto him. you stood, turning your back to him as you hooked your thumbs under the waistband of your sweats and leaned over slightly as you pushed the fabric over your ass. jeonghan’s hand tightened around himself involuntarily, his other going to feel you. squeeze your hip, pinch at the soft flesh. guide you down onto him as you braced yourself on his knee. you pulled at the underside of your thigh, spreading yourself wider as you sat back onto him, sighing as he stretched you out.
“fuck,” he choked out, both hands gripping at your waist to stop you from sinking more. “shit, you feel really good.”
you whined, rolling your hips back in need. “i’ll feel even better if you let me sit.”
he chuckled. “why do you think i stopped you?”
you looked over your shoulder. “two pump chump?”
jeonghan pulled you down onto him harshly, forcing a squeal out of you as you curled over yourself. it had been a long time since anything had been this deep, and you could already feel your release building with one touch of his head to your spot. “shut up.”
“shutting up,” you muttered, voice almost cracking when he held you still and rutted up into you.
“god, i can’t believe it took us this long,” he said, steadying you with his grip so you could roll your hips on his lap. “to get me in you.”
“m-maybe if your roommate ever went to cl-lass,” you stuttered, beyond pleased that you could finally relieve this frustration as you slowly bounced on his lap. “f-fuck, you feel better than i imagined.”
you could hear the grin on his face when he spoke again, running his fingers up your side. “have i been fucking you in your dreams, baby?”
“well, you sure - mf! - haven’t been fuh-hucking me in real li-” your sentence getting cut off by a whiney moan when his hips bumped up to meet yours. “god, fuck, jeonghan!”
he pulled himself off the couch, pressing his chest against your back. he pushed up into you, almost desperately, his teeth running across your shoulder as much as his lips did. you gasped, leaning back into him, spreading your legs until your knees hooked on the outside of his, his unrelenting fingers finding your clit, just to make you beg as he pumped in and out of you.
“please what, baby?” he asked sweetly, despite the hair sticking to his sweaty forehead and the way his eyebrows knit together.
“p-please, can i cum again?”
jeonghan groaned, almost taken aback by your complete switch in attitude. while he knew you liked it when he tried to take control, he had never seen you go down without a fight. “who knew all you needed to stop being such a brat was my cock?”
“p-please, h-hannie…” you whimpered, and he could feel your walls constricting around him. “please, i wanna cum.”
desperation became obvious in his own hips, just by taking in your face. he had gone into this with every intention of milking you of everything you had, but he was man enough to admit that your begging made him too close to cumming to stop. “get my dick wet, darling.”
your mouth gaped in a silent cry as you crumpled into his chest, your legs twitching inwards as he moved his hands to your hips and continued thrusting up into you, your walls squeezing him tight until he let out a low groan, slowing his movement until he eventually stilled completely.
the two of you stayed there, a sweaty, entangled mess on the couch, both just trying to catch your breath.
“fuck,” you said finally, and jeonghan thought he couldn’t have said it better himself.
after two packets of slightly overcooked ramen, a conversation about how leaving a used condom on cheol’s bed would not be a funny prank, and a generous spray of febreze fabric refresher, jeonghan watched proudly as you walked with a slight unintentional wobble towards his bedroom, assuring you he’d be right there as he rinsed out your bowls in the sink.
when he did finally join you, you were laying on his bed with your phone to your ear, and he crawled up over you as you giggled into the phone, knees spreading to accommodate. “hannie’s. i told you, i’m staying here for the weekend.”
jeonghan could hear mingyu’s voice on the other end, saying something about how he thought it was next weekend for some reason and that getting laid would be good for you, but he just smiled as he kissed at your neck, your free arm settling around him comfortably.
“why are you calling this late?” you asked, looking over at jeonghan’s bedside to confirm the time. “are you guys going out?”
“yeah, of course. rockbox in an hour. you guys in?”
you tipped your head to the side as jeonghan continued his gentle kisses up your neck, hands running up under your shirt, making you sigh softly. “nah, we have plans. cheol and soonyoung are there, though.”
“okay, no worries,” mingyu said, then paused. jeonghan took the opportunity to bite just below your jaw, gently rolling his hips between your thighs to make you aware of what he was thinking. “are you busy right now, or can you talk?”
a pang of guilt ran through you as you held your breath, trying to not audibly react to the movement against you. you hadn’t been able to sit and chat with your best friend in way too long. “i’m, uh, a little busy? maybe we could get lunch tomorrow?”
jeonghan pulled back and glared at you, a stark reminder that he had asked you to not make plans, but you just put a finger to his pouting lips.
“as long as it’s after noon, i’m down.”
“okay,” you said, brushing your fingers across jeonghan’s cheek and pushing his hair behind an ear. “one? two? stew?”
“one’s good,” mingyu said, his voice sing songy. “okay, i’m gonna get ready. have fun! use protection.”
you rolled your eyes. “everyone keeps saying that.”
“yeah, because you guys are crazy and no one wants to risk it.”
after your byes, you hung up and looked at jeonghan, who was still staring at you with disdain. you sighed. “it’s just lunch.”
“i said no plans,” he reminded you, pouting. “now we have to go get lunch with mingyu when i could be fucking you stupid in my roommateless bedroom.”
“no we don’t,” you said, running your hands through his hair. “i have to get lunch with mingyu. you can do whatever you want.”
“oh, so i’m not even invited?” his eyebrows raised at you. “you do realize i switched a shift so i could spend all day with you, right?”
you giggled. “hannie, i would love to spend all day with you, but i haven’t sat and gotten lunch with mingyu in a month. i miss my best friend.”
he groaned, burying his face in your neck. “stop making sense, i’m trying to be mad at you.”
“you can still be mad,” you said, your fingers softly massaging against the back of his neck. “i like it when you think you’re punishing me.”
he groaned again, hating how you could so easily say the perfect thing to make him forget about anything else. “you’re evil.”
you giggled. “and it turns you on.”
he adjusted against you, trying to ignore his increasing arousal despite his original intentions. “sometimes, you seem like my own personal demon.”
“oh, fun,” you vocalised, brushing your fingers knowingly through the hair behind his ear, triggering a huff as you hit your favorite soft spot of his. “two demons trying to torture each other.”
he laughed as he raised his head, propping it up with a hand. “would you consider this torture?”
“maybe for normal people,” you said, sneaking a kiss onto his lips. “but we’re demons, remember? this is fun for us.”
his lips pouted, less to make a point and more because it was their comfortable, natural state after your lips leave. “i think i like you a lot.”
your face burned. it wasn’t the first time he had said something to that effect, but it made your chest feel funny nonetheless. “that’s reassuring.”
“i’m serious,” he said. “i really like you. and i don’t like people.”
you smiled softly. “i like you, too, yoon jeonghan.”
he adjusted his elbows on either side of you. “i want to be your boyfriend.”
you stared at him. “nah.”
“aye,” he cocked his head, making you laugh. “you said all i had to do was ask!”
“i’m kidding,” you said, putting your hands on either side of his face, pushing his cheeks in. “do you want to meet my parents, too?”
he looked at the wall behind his bed. “maybe that can wait.”
giggling, you pulled him into a kiss. “okay, boyfriend.”
the smile on his lips lingered as you kissed him, and he decided it was time to make sure everyone knew you were officially taken.
“you could have worn a scarf.”
you rolled your eyes, pulling the hood of the sweatshirt you stole from jeonghan’s in an attempt to hide the purple marks on your neck over your head. “it’s not my fault he tried to kill me,” you said, tugging on the drawstrings. “how was rockbox?”
“good,” mingyu said, leaning back. “weird. vernon ended up on stage.”
you almost choked on your water. “and i missed it?”
he laughed, then pulled out his phone to show you a video. “seungkwan made him do the features on a beyoncé song. he killed it, though.”
you watched the shaky vertical video of vernon on stage with a boy you knew but never really spoke to, watching in disbelief and laughing at mingyu’s hollering in the background. “wow. bey seungkwan and jay-v. that’s pretty legendary. i can’t believe i wasn’t there.”
mingyu laughed, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “how was your night? productive, obviously,” he said, gesturing to your neck.
“good,” you said reflexively, then exhaled as you looked at your best friend. “like, really good.”
“okay, spare the details, but like,” mingyu tipped his head and looked at you through his lashes. “good good?”
“mingyu, you know i would never say this lightly,” you put your hands on the table. “the best. seriously. man has a surprising amount of stamina for how much he naps.”
“damn,” he sighed and looked away from you. “y'know, that makes sense. i’ve always heard he was good in bed, and you two have some insane chemistry.”
you spotted the waiter coming, and before they were in earshot, you hurriedly said “plus his dick is huge.”
“oh, my god,” mingyu reeled back, then realized what you had done as the waiter put side dishes on your table. as soon as they left, he glared at you. “why are you like this.”
you grinned. “you were curious, though, right?”
he squinted at you. “doesn’t mean you should just offer up the info.”
“when’s the last time i slept with someone?” you asked. “like, really. it’s been, like, almost a year since i hooked up with rubin.”
his brows ruffled as he thought. “damn, is that true? has it really been that long?”
“let me brag,” you pleaded. “please? he’s so hot, i’m gonna lose my mind if you don’t let me talk about it.”
“i don’t know if i can be friends with you anymore.”
“dude, he spit in my mouth this morning.”
“oh-kay, so you’re buying lunch,” mingyu said, sitting up suddenly. “damn, this morning? have you guys just been going at it like rabbits?”
“i don’t wanna hear it,” you said, pointing at him. “you had to tell me about every guy you hooked up with during your 'hoe-liday’ last winter, you can listen to me talk about a guy i’ve been seeing for almost two months.”
“fair enough,” he laughed. “i don’t think i’ve ever seen you like this.”
you groaned, sinking your head to the table. “it sucks.”
he stared at you. “oh my god, his dick made you fall in love.”
“shut up,” you said, lifting your head to land your chin on the table, curling a paper napkin over your spoon. you pouted as you tried to come up with an argument, but failed. “he’s sweet.”
“he’s mean,” mingyu corrected. “but he’s sweet to you.
"and dogs,” you defended. “and kids.”
“oh, so he’s husband material all of a sudden?”
you shrugged. “i’ve dated people much less likeable than yoon jeonghan.”
mingyu sighed, eating some kimchi. “that’s true. we both have.”
“yeah, so stop making fun of me, asshole,” your eyebrows creased as you leaned back and crossed your arms. “try being happy for me for a change. didn’t you want this all along? trying to get me to ask him out?”
“i am happy for you,” mingyu said, showing some genuinity as he laughed, also leaning back as your food arrived. “you just make it really hard sometimes.”
mingyu had the courtesy of dropping you off back at jeonghan’s so he didn’t have to borrow seungcheol’s car to come get you, and as he pulled up to the familiar apartment building, he gave you his usual “say hi to your boyfriend for me,” as he put it in park, quickly checking his phone.
instead of your normal “not my boyfriend,” you looked over at your best friend and bit your cheek. “sure.”
mingyu’s neck nearly snapped to look at you. “wait, what?”
you giggled. “sure, i’ll say hi for you.”
“did you-” he started, then stuttered, trying to figure out what he was asking. “are you guys, like-”
“he asked,” you said shrugging. “i said yes.”
a grin spread across his face. “really?”
“well, actually, i said no. then i said okay.”
mingyu laughed. “yeah that sounds right. wow, y/n got a boyfriend.”
you rolled your eyes, pulling the hood further over your head to hide your involuntarily hot ears as you adjusted to open the car door. “bye, goo.”
“this is my best friend,” he said loudly, making you stare at him with wide eyes as some innocent bystander walked past the car, all while you tried to pull yourself out of the door. “beautiful, right? sorry though, they’re taken, i’m dropping them off to see their brand new boyfriend.”
“you’re embarrassing,” you said, pointing an annoyed finger, grateful the person only looked back once before continuing. “go home.”
“you have done ten times worse to me,” mingyu said, grinning from ear to ear. “have fun with the pretentious asshole that can’t make an americano right, yoon jeonghan!”
that made you laugh despite yourself, and you shot him several expletives before slamming his door shut and running up the stairs.
after punching in the door code that no one had told you but you had seen enough times to know, you announced that you had returned. seeing jihoon’s chair empty on a saturday was strange, but at least seungcheol and soonyoung were up to their usual antics of playing some game extremely poorly.
you stood and watched the screen for a moment. “you know you can catch the arrows, right?”
soonyoung looked at you. “you can catch the arrows?”
seungcheol groaned. “why would you tell him that? i’m actually winning for once!”
you giggled. “if you dodge when the arrows are coming, you catch them.”
“you can dodge?”
from the other room, you heard a muted “hurry up,” and you saluted to the boys as they argued, following your cue to exit the situation.
jeonghan was on his bed when you shut the door behind you. “what are they yelling about?”
you sighed as you walked over to him. “apparently soonyoung didn’t know you could dodge in towerfall.”
he watched you pull off the sweatshirt - the same one he had worn on your first kinda date - to admire the marks he had left on you, then blinked when he realized what you had said. “we play that game all the time, how did he not know?”
you shrugged, then crawled into his waiting arms. “he’s not very observant.”
you sighed as you settled against jeonghan, and he kissed the top of your head. “how was lunch?”
“good,” you said, smiling. “gyu is good. it was nice to catch up.”
jeonghan clicked his tongue. “you guys talk every day.”
“okay, yeah, but,” you adjusted to look at him. “talking on the phone and hanging out with other people is different. we can’t talk about the same stuff.”
“well, what’d you talk about?”
you smiled. “wouldn’t you like to know?”
he squinted at you. “aren’t we supposed to be a team now? no secrets?”
“okay,” you said, fixing his bangs. “what were you and seungcheol talking about in his room yesterday before i got here?”
jeonghan couldn’t help the tiny smile that worked its way into his face. “did soonyoung tell you?”
“i would never reveal my source,” you said triumphantly, knowing it couldn’t have been anyone else, considering jihoon had already left. “also, he was pissed that you kicked him out while he was still sleeping.”
“if i could have just dragged cheol into my room, i would have,” he sighed. “trust me. i can pull soonyoung out of bed, but seungcheol is dense.”
you inspected his lips a moment. “were you talking about me?”
“uh,” jeonghan adjusted under you, putting a hand behind his head. “no, not really. soonyoung got a job, and me and cheol are both working more now. i wanted to talk about getting a bigger place, since our lease ends in the summer.”
you vocalised excitedly. “does this mean you’d get your own room?”
“that’s the idea, yeah,” he said, grinning. “you could stay over more.” and while he hadn’t lied - they had discussed larger apartment options, and decided to start looking by the end of the month - he failed to mention that the main purpose of him isolating seungcheol was to confirm he was crazy for wanting you to join them if they did move.
“i mean,” cheol had said, barely propping himself up in bed. “it might be a bit too early to tell, but you guys seem like the real deal.”
jeonghan spun in soonyoung’s desk chair, arms crossed. “but i’m insane, right? like, we haven’t even slept together.”
“they’re coming over for the weekend, yeah?”
“yeah.”
“so let’s talk about it again on monday?”
jeonghan kneaded at his jaw, exhaling. “yeah, okay.”
now, you had slept together. not only that, but you slept together, all night, in the same bed, and jeonghan woke up with jumbled poetry in his head when he found you curled up by his side. despite living in this apartment for nearly a year, it felt most like home with you in it.
and he had told seungcheol, when he got home from dropping you off for lunch, that he was pretty damn sure he wanted to wake up like that every morning.
he wondered how you would react, if you would want to take the leap and move in with him. part of him felt as though he was taking advantage of your situation for his own selfish want to have you around all the time - you would do literally anything to avoid being in a dorm next year, but your housing budget wouldn’t accommodate for anything more than a goshiwon. while that wasn’t the worst option, you always talked about how much you missed living in a normal space, with a stove. a full sized fridge. a real bathroom, instead of a cramped wetroom. if he were to ask you to live with him, you would likely say yes, but would that put too much strain on your relationship too early? or would you think he was moving too fast and say no? his mind whirred silently as you buried your face in his neck.
“what’s on your mind?”
jeonghan blinked. “nothing.”
“liar.”
he sighed. “you.”
you lifted your head. “am i what’s making your heart beat so fast?”
he hadn’t even realized his pulse had quickened. he swallowed, briefly wondering if he would ever be able to truly hide anything from you. “maybe. what did you and mingyu talk about?”
you laughed. “i was hoping you would forget.”
“i never forget.”
“we talked about a lot,” you said, fiddling with the collar of jeonghan’s tee. “classes, summer plans, boys…”
he raised his brow at the last subject. “boys, huh?”
you smirked at him playfully. “yeah, our waiter was cute.”
he scoffed in your face and you giggled, then flattened his shirt against his chest.
“we talked about you. i told him we were official.”
“how’d that go?”
“he made fun of me, but it’s fine because i told him you have a big dick.”
jeonghan’s hand went from behind his head to cover his eyes, letting out a half-groan and half-“really?”, but the smile on his lips told you he wasn’t mad. “why? why would you tell him that?”
“he’s my best friend!” you laughed.
“okay, why did you tell me that?”
“i’d thought you’d like to know,” you said, pouting slightly. “he might respect you now.”
he uncovered his face just so you could see him rolling his eyes before he tried to sit up. “okay, no more cuddling.”
you whined, trying to keep him in place, but failing. “but i just got here!”
“maybe you shouldn’t have left in the first place,” he teased, getting out of bed to turn off the air purifier he usually only ran at night, but had been too preoccupied to turn off that morning. “i told you i intended to keep you in bed all weekend, but you didn’t care.”
“i’m here now,” you pouted. “in your bed.”
“take a nap, then,” jeonghan said. “i’m gonna eat.”
you groaned. “you didn’t eat while i was gone?”
“too busy pouting in bed. your turn.”
you floundered and whined childishly for a moment as he laughed at you, leaving the room without another word. sometimes you hated how similar you two were, but only because it made you completely aware of just how annoying you were.
when jeonghan returned, you had completely passed out, holding his pillow under your head as you laid on your stomach. he smirked in the direction of the sleeping body and fiddled with a few things - closing the closet door, throwing a rogue shirt into his hamper, etc. - before making his way to the bed to join you.
his touch was gentle. enough to rouse but not frighten. you squirmed slightly, recognizing the way his hand dipped into even the most subtle curves of your body as you laid out comfortably. you gave a noise of approval when it ran over your ass, squeezing slightly. jeonghan smirked again, and you turned under his arm to face him, a soft smile on your lips.
“g'morning.”
“it’s four in the afternoon,” he corrected.
you sighed. “and it’s a good morning.”
“sure is, babe,” he drawled, smiling as you planted a smooch. his hand ran unhurriedly up your back, under your shirt.
you hummed. “are you really horny again?”
“listen,” he mumbled, almost laughing. “i just want to get of much of you as i can, while i can.”
you supposed that was as good a reason as any as you kissed him again, only for him to pull away and straddle the backs of your thighs. he pushed the balls of his palms into your lower back on either side of your spine, and you let out a low moan. jeonghan did this on occasion, treat you to a back rub. he claimed it was because you had the worst posture he had ever seen, but you knew it was an excuse to get his hands all over you, and you couldn’t hide how much you enjoyed it. you adjusted to lay straighter, burying your face in the pillow when he hit a particularly evil knot and had to dig it out with a thumb. you groaned as his hands travelled up your back, sliding the shirt up as he massaged into your shoulders. you sighed as you got up on your elbows and ripped off the shirt, tossing it somewhere on the floor, exposing your full back to him, your shoulders and neck littered in his marks. he admired them, even planted small kisses atop a few, then worked his way down your back, curving his hands over your ass.
you muttered a quiet thank you, and he smiled, giving you a succinct “of course” in response. he moved down to your legs, thumbs sneaking in your inner thighs and subtly spreading you out despite your pants. you hummed, pushing your hips to meet his touch, encouraging him to knead at your cheeks.
“have i ever told you you have a great ass?”
you giggled. “it’s average at best.”
“uh, no,” he said, voice pitched upwards in a teasing manner. “i think i’m a really great judge in asses and yours is fantastic.”
“yeah?” you peeked over your shoulder. “what’s so fantastic about it?”
jeonghan’s fingers dug into it, eyes shooting up to meet yours. “well, for starters, it’s connected to you.”
he ran a thumb over your crease, making you let out a small noise in response, and you buried your face in the pillow again. “shut up.”
he smirked against your shoulder, hands running up your back again and one landing on the mattress beside you as he pushed his hips against your ass. “yes, boss.”
you sighed, arching your back to get as much friction as you could while he ground his hard member against you. he sucked at your neck, and your hands dug helplessly into his hair as you whined.
“are we teenagers?” you asked, huffing. “do we have to dry hump or can we fuck like adults?”
jeonghan laughed as he lifted his mouth to ghost over yours. “impatient. if you were better, you would have asked for my cock nicely.”
“better,” you repeated, hating the way a hard wave of arousal washed over you, suddenly wakening your senses like it was from the pacific. “for you?”
the tip of his tongue barely swiped at your lips, your jaw twitching slightly in reaction. “you gonna be good?”
you tried to focus on him, your blown out eyes flickering hopelessly to his lips. “i-i can try.”
and with that, jeonghan yanked your pants over your hips and down your thighs, scooting them down as you hiked your ass up slightly, hoping to tempt him as efficiently as possible. his hands found your ass again, spreading you out as you groaned. “look at you, soaking.”
you bit your lip, making a pathetic noise into the pillow to avoid talking back. “please, jeonghan.”
two fingers ran over you, and you tried to muffle your moan as best you could as your hips moved involuntarily, pushing into his fingers. he smirked down at you, wondering how far he could take you as he messily spread your arousal. “bet you could take two right now.”
“yes,” you said, gasping slightly. “please, hannie, please, i can take it.”
he pushed two fingers into you, barely even scissoring them before pushing in a third, making you bury your face in his pillow as you groaned. “i’ve been fucking you good, huh?”
you nodded frantically, pushing against his hand as steadily as you could. he noted your neediness, and indulged you by thrusting his fingers into you until you were whining rhythmically to his pace. he pulled a finger out, then another, and you instinctively threw a hand back to catch him before he pulled away completely. he laughed lightly, his hand easily overpowering yours and pressing a kiss against your shoulder blade.
“sorry, were you close?”
you exhaled sharply. “that was so mean.”
“i’ll make it up to you,” he said, pulling your hips further off the bed and pushing you further apart. he licked a wide stripe up your core, and you moaned deeply into the pillow, gripping it with all your power as his tongue expertly ran over your clit. “you taste incredible.”
you panted as you turned your head. “i thought you just ate.”
“i have a separate dessert stomach.”
your thighs buzzed and gut fluttered, and you wondered how he always managed to make you weak in the knees, even when his tongue was buried in you. it wasn’t long before you were gripping at his wrist, knuckles white, quaking as his lips guided you through your orgasm, and he lapped at your release, licking wet stripes up your inner thighs as well.
when he backed away, you exhaled again. “jeonghan-”
“what?” he asked, pushing his own pants down his thighs. he stood to drop them to the floor before straddling you again, pulling your hips back against him. “is this what you want?”
your hand found his thigh, urging him towards you. he rubbed the head of his cock, already shiny and scarlet, against your core, and you practically begged on the spot. suddenly, he pushed you into the mattress, pushing his hips against yours but fucking into your thighs. you whimpered, his cock rubbing against you absolutely deliciously, but not at all what you were expecting. he groaned into your neck, snaking a hand up under you.
“god, you’re so wet, i almost don’t even need to fuck your pussy.”
you yelped when his fingers found a nipple and pinched. “h-hannie, please-”
“please, what?”
you squirmed. “please fuck me.”
he looked at you. “you get one more try.”
for a moment, you looked back at him and your mind went blank. “please, hannie, i need your cock.”
he smiled. “was that so hard?” his tone and kisses were sweet, but completely mismatched the frustration bubbling in you as he pulled back, making you moan again as the head bumped over your clit. “do you trust me?”
“yes, baby, please just fuck me before i scream.”
with one hand on his cock, he guided himself into you, a moan tumbling from his lips as he felt you completely unsheathed for the first time. you gripped the pillow in a tighter fist as he filled you out, and it took all your concentration to not squeal in a way that absolutely would have been heard by the entire apartment. his hands gripped your waist, pulling you back onto him as he fucked into you. as you adjusted to him, you began to curse the fact that this was only temporary - you would have to go back to unreliably private quickies in a few short days - and you suddenly got the urge to really savor the way jeonghan’s cock felt in you.
he leaned over you, changing the angle ever so slightly and just enough to make you cry out, and he put a palm at the base of your neck, wrapping his fingers around it slightly as he pushed you into his pillow. “i could fuck you raw forever.”
you tried to catch your breath to respond. “i would let you.”
you internally celebrated the low groan that escaped him, and the way his hips pushed impossibly further into you. externally, you rewarded the movement with a matching moan, though you slapped a hand over your mouth when you heard the game pause in the other room.
“don’t want them to hear you, baby?”
you whimpered into your hand as jeonghan kissed a line up the side of your neck, steadily rolling into you.
“can’t even talk?”
you shakily pulled your hand away from your mouth, trying to stifle your noises with just your will. “cheol already hates me.”
“he doesn’t hate you,” he said, his voice getting slightly more labored as he continued his pace. “i bet he’d love to hear your pretty moans.”
you clamped your hand over your mouth again, resisting jeonghan’s luring the best you could. he smiled against the hollow of your ear, nipping at it slightly.
“i know you want to, baby. just let it out.”
as he spoke, he shifted his hips, making you let out a high toned moan that was barely muted by your palm, and you buried your face in the pillow to avoid jeonghan’s shiteating grin.
“i love the way you sound when i’m fucking you,” he said, his voice never raising above his lowest register. his ability to keep his cool as you were utterly falling apart was perhaps simultaneously the most aggravating and sexiest part of the whole affair. “and you always back up against me like a bitch in heat.”
you reached back for a hand, but he swiftly grabbed your wrist to push it against your lower back. your chest heaved, and you hurriedly added your other wrist to his grip. with one hand restricting your arms and the other pulling your hip back against his, he licked his lips at the sight.
“i’m going to wreck you,” he panted. “i’m going to make you forget anyone you ever fucked before me.”
you let out harsh breaths as your chest pushed into the mattress. “already have,” you managed, peeking best you could over yout shoulder to the glorious view behind you. you enjoyed the way his tongue shot out between his lips, the way he watched his cock fill you tightly. you even liked the way his hair flopped over his eyes, even if you thought he was in need of a haircut. but you especially liked that he looked like he got lost in you. like he would never want anything but you.
you came fast and hard, squeezing him temptingly as you whined into the pillow. with that, he pulled out and rolled you over, fingers hooking at your pants to pull them off completely. you bicycle kicked to help him, then practically pulled him into you as his lips crashed into yours, hands pulling you as close as he could while you both repositioned your bodies. your hand went down to position him at your entrance again, and you gasped into his mouth when he slid into you again. his teeth tugged at your bottom lip, one hand gently massaging the back of your neck as you whimpered against him.
“you’re being so good for me,” he muttered, purposefully brushing his lips against yours with every syllable. “have i finally tamed you?”
your legs wrapped around his waist. “no chance in hell.”
he grinned, letting you pull him into more sloppy kisses as he steadily pulled another orgasm from you, and you couldn’t help but want him to cum with you. his eyebrows knit as your hands dug into the hair at the base of his head, eyes barely focusing on your lips as you begged for him to cum in you.
“you’re evil.”
you could barely smile. “and you love it.”
you choked slightly, body edging into overstimulation as you came again, and jeonghan pushed up off of you to better chase his own high. he pumped into you, hard and rough, for a few more seconds before you felt suddenly empty and he was shooting hot ribbons of cum up stomach and chest.
you bit back a moan, arching your back slightly as he stared down at your chest, leaning down to lick his cum off your nipple. you gripped his hair again, squirming as he sucked lightly, lapping more cum towards the peak. you tugged at his roots slightly, pulling him up to kiss you before he got you hot and bothered again when you weren’t sure you could handle more.
“i can’t believe you pulled out.”
jeonghan laughed in your face. “i asked if you trusted me.”
you pouted. “i thought that meant you were going to choke me out.”
he kissed you again after a short chuckle, then sat up to grab tissues. “maybe next time.”
he didn’t say it like it was a promise, but he kept it like it was one.
and when your weekend of nonstop bedroom antics was over, you admittedly had fulfilled yourselves enough that the following privacy draught was almost bearable. sure, jeonghan asked you a couple times to come sit on his lap while he worked on lab reflections, and yes, it was much less innocent than one would think, but the two of you managed to keep unfortunate walkins to a minimum, which was only made possible by finally getting it out of your system.
also because you decided your thursday 7:30 was barely worth it most weeks, and jeonghan was always happy to run over to your dorm to fool around for a few hours while your roommate was in class.
#lol#seventeen smut#seventeen imagines#seventeen fluff#seventeen scenarios#yoon jeonghan scenarios#yoon jeonghan fluff#yoon jeonghan imagines#jeonghan scenarios#jeonghan imagines#jeonghan smut#hannie#i wrote dis
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Prompt: You have always had a problem with self image. To you, there would always be someone prettier, someone funnier, someone more worthy of love, but to Fred, you are the most amazing person in the world, and he’s determined to make you see that.
A/N: I’M GOING THROUGH IT CAN YOU TELL??? Anyway, I really just wanted to feel loved, so I wrote Fred being amazing and stuff, so yeah! Also, Yule ball bc I fucking love writing it, its so cute and fun.
Warnings: Kind of angsty but ends fluffy, Swearing, so many commas, Fred being *soft*. SELF DEPRICATION!!! I truly believe everyone reading this is absolutely beautiful and kind and amazing in their own unique way, this is just how I be feeling sometimes.
You walked down the hallway, holding your books close to your chest and trying not to bump into anyone. You were headed straight back to the Gryffindor common room, just wanting the day to be over.
For the past few weeks, all you could feel was dread. The Yule ball was coming up, and while a night full of dancing and music and having fun sounded amazing, you also knew you weren't going to be asked to go.
Now, you only had a week until the ball, and you were planning on how you were going to spend the night, probably reading, and talking with your owl, seeing nobody would be around.
You didn’t know what you were doing wrong. You felt like no matter how many times you tried to be funny or open, you were always met with a closed door. No matter how much effort you put into your appearance, you ended up looking the same, or worse. No matter how much you studied, you were always a little more behind than you wanted to be. No matter what you did, someone was doing it better.
Of course nobody saw you that way, and especially not Fred Weasley. You had become good friends with the Weasley twins your first day at Hogwarts. You were all in the same year, and got along quite well, seeing the three of you all had a bit of a mischievous streak. But Fred noticed that over the years, you seemed less like yourself. You were more introverted, you didn’t laugh as openly as you used to, you didn’t smile as much, and it broke his heart.
Fred had developed a crush on you around 5th year. He loved everything about you, how your laugh was louder than others, how your eyes crinkled when you smiled, how you were kind and open to everyone you met, how you were able to make him laugh, but also take him seriously when he was hurting. Of course George started to notice, and would tease him constantly.
“Just ask her out!” George would say, which would just make the older red head smile but shake his head.
“If she said no it would ruin our friendship, I don’t want to lose her” Fred would say, wishing situations would be different.
However, Fred was now watching you as you sped walked down the hallway to the common room. He could tell something was off, so he shouldered George, signaling that he was going to break off for a bit, before following you into the common room.
You quickly muttered the password and went inside. The common room was empty, which was a huge plus for you, not wanting to be social for the rest of the day. You took no time plopping your things down before laying back on one of the couches. Maybe now you could get some reading done in peace and not have to think about-
“Hey, are you ok?” Fred asked. you hadn’t heard him walk in and the sound of his voice made you jump.
“Oh! Fred, uh yeah, yeah I’m fine why?” You asked, heart beating quickly but not because of the recent scare.
You had also been crushing on the Older Weasley twin for a while. You loved how he always wanted to make you smile, even on the days you thought nothing could make you feel better. He introduced you to his family, who you love dearly, and also made you feel somewhat appreciated. Like you knew that he wanted you around. Of course you would never tell him your feelings, too afraid that he would reject you, and ruin your friendship.
“Well, I saw you walking in here and I thought you looked a little overwhelmed, so I wanted to see if there was anything I could do?” Fred asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.
“Really its nothing, my brain is just somewhere else today I guess” You said, trying to move past the topic.
“Well I’m all ears if you want to talk” He said, coming over and sitting across from you on the same couch you were currently resting on.
There was a part of you that didn’t want to bother him. That he would surely be uninterested in any personal problems you may be having. But then there was another part of you who knew him as your oldest friend. As the person who has been by your side through everything, and suddenly before you could stop yourself, the words were tumbling out of your mouth.
“Its stupid, but I’m just bummed out that I’m not going to the Yule ball” You said, causing Fred's eyes to widen a bit but you didn’t notice, too busy looking down at your hands.
“Why aren't you going?” Fred asked
“Well I was thinking of just going with some friends, but most of my friends already have dates and going alone would look lame as fuck. So I think I would rather just stay in and read or something” You said, shrugging a bit.
“Well I don't have a date” Fred said, taking you both by surprise.
“You don't?” You asked, genuinely surprised he hadn’t asked someone, or at least been asked by some other girls who you knew where fawning over him. In reality, Fred was thinking about how he would ask you, and whether or not you already had a date.
“Nope, so if you want we can go together so you we don’t have to suffer alone all night” Fred said, adding some humor to the conversation. You smiled at him, before thinking it over.
“He’s only asking you as a friend” You thought to yourself.
“Sure! God knows what kind of trouble you would get into having to spend a whole night alone” You said, causing the both of you to laugh a bit.
“Great, so I’ll see you there?” He asked, to which you nodded your head.
“I’ll be there” You said smiling, before Fred rose to rejoin George, and tell him about the best thing that has happened to him all year.
The rest of the week went by in a flash. You and Fred were each to busy with either school or quidditch practice to really talk to each other, and you barely had time to go out and find a dress, but finally, the Yule ball was here, and you were freaking out.
“What the fuck am I doing?” You practically yelled to Angelina, who was sitting on her bed watching and you paced back and forward in your dress.
“You’re going on a date with the guy you’ve had a crush on since first year. What's the problem?” Angelina asked
“It wasn’t since first year!” You defended, before adding “And the problem is that I’m probably in love with him, and he probably thinks were only going together as friends, and I’m going to have to see him, and talk to him, and dance with him for HOURS while trying not to look like an idiot!”
“Y/n, I promise you wont look like an idiot, you look hot as hell” She said. You sent a look her way, causing her to laugh. “I’m being serious! this dress looks amazing on you, your hair is perfect, and I did your makeup so you know it could be better if you tried, you’re going to be great, so shut up and get your shoes on they’re waiting for us”
“Fine you said, finally stopping your pacing and taking a deep breath. What's the worst that could happen? A lot, but still, try and think positive.
Fred was standing at the bottom of the grand staircase waiting for you and Angelina to come down, Angelina being Georges date. Fred however couldn’t stop fiddling with the cuff of his jacket, which was starting to annoy George.
“Mate seriously, just chill out I’m sure everything's fine” George said, trying to somewhat relive his brothers anxiety.
“I know, I know, but what if she changed her mind, or-” Fred started, about to go off on a rant before being stopped when a sharp elbow jabbed him in the ribs. Fred was about to go off on George for the stab, but before he could he followed his eyes to the staircase, on which you and Angelina were currently walking down.
You looked amazing. Your hair framed your face perfectly, your dress coming down to your ankles and the color complimenting your skin tone. You were wearing heels, which only made you slightly taller but still, it was a few more inches that allowed you and Fred to almost be face to face. He was absolutely gobsmacked.
You were walking down the stairs, desperately trying not to trip with these shoes which you were not used to wearing and taking in the sight of Fred. He was wearing a dashing suit, and you could tell he had done his hair a bit, but besides that he was still Fred, the same Fred that made you laugh and made you feel wanted. The same Fred you fell in love with.
You finally reached the bottom of the stairs and came face to face with Fred, who still hasn’t said a word, the mere sight of you making his brain short circuit.
“Wow that bad?” You asked jokingly, but deep down you were a little worried about his lack of a reaction.
“What? No! No, you look amazing!” Fred said quickly, causing you to smile and blush a bit.
“Why thank you, you don't look to bad yourself” You said, and Fred couldn’t help but smile back.
“Shall we?” He asked, sticking out his left arm which you accepted.
“We shall” You said, causing the both of you to laugh before walking into the ball room.
The night was everything you expected and more. There was dancing and amazing music, and every once in a while you and Fred would just take a break and talk.
You were laughing with Fred about new prank idea when something caught your eye. There where two girls on the opposite side of the room, looking at the two of you and whispering to each other. Immediately your anxiety got the better of you, and all confidence you had gained during the ball now seemed to disappear.
“Would you excuse me for a second?” You asked, causing Fred’s eyes to furrow before he nodded, allowing you to pass him and walk out of the ball room. Fred watched as you left, before turning and making eye contact with George, who then made a hand motion at him to go follow you. So without thinking, he took off and tried to find where you went.
You were now standing outside, your elbows resting on a stone wall as you looked over the grounds, letting the cool autumn air wash over your skin and calm your nerves. You tried to relax but your mind couldn’t help but wander. This was stupid, you shouldn’t have come, you should have just stayed in your room and-
“Hey, are you ok?” Fred asked walking towards you, again causing you to jump a bit
“Hey Fred, yeah I’m ok I just wanted to get some air. You can go back if you want I wont mind” You said, trying to calm your breathing.
“Well I’m not going back without my date” Fred said goofily, coming to stand next to you and rest him arms by yours, but you didn’t laugh, just shook your head.
“You don’t have to call me your date Fred, I know you only asked me as a friend, so you don’t have to call this something its not” You said.
“What?” Fred asked, genuinely confused as to what you were talking about.
“Come on Fred, I know you only asked me because you felt bad. You didn’t have to waste your night on me I’m sure there are plenty of other girls you would have rather gone with” You said, still not looking at him.
“Why would I want to go with anyone else Y/n? You’re my best friend” Fred said, trying to make his feelings clear without actually having to say them just in case things didn’t go in the direction he wanted.
“Exactly, I’m your friend. You’ll only ever see me as a friend. You should be here with someone you like, someone you care about, someone who makes you happy and who you want to dance with and who you want to spend your time with” You said
“I already think all of that when I’m with you” Fred said, still not quite sure what you were saying.
“No you don't, not romantically. You could have asked any girl you wanted to come to the ball with you. Girls who are much prettier and funnier and more outgoing than me. Someone who you don’t have to ask out because you feel bad, but someone who you actually want to be with” you said, quickly wiping some tears that were threatening to fall.
Suddenly all the pieces came together for Fred. Why you had been so distant as of late, why you hadn’t been being yourself, why you seemed so low all the time. It was because at some point along the way, you developed an image of yourself that you weren’t good enough, or pretty enough, or funny enough. An image that wasn’t true, and to Fred, you were all of those things and more.
“Y/n, please look at me” Fred said, causing you to let out a breath before finally meeting his eye.
Your eyes shone from your recent tears, making them that much brighter, the moonlight danced off your skin and made your face seem to glow. Fred saw you, and saw the person he loved, and the person he needed to show was everything he would ever want. He took a deep breath, before bringing his hands up to cup your face and closing the space between you two, connecting his lips to yours.
You took a second to respond, mostly because you were in your head thinking ‘what the fuck, is this actually happening?!’ but then you took no time to melt into his touch, moving to hold his arms. After a while, you both finally pulled away, Fred looking into your eyes and smiling.
“Y/N, you are the funniest, most beautiful, most kind person I have ever known. I knew when I met you on our first day, I knew when I fell for you in fifth year, and I knew when I asked you to the ball last week. There is no one here I would rather be with than you” Fred said, causing tears to well in your eyes but this time in happiness.
“You had a crush for me in fifth year?” You asked, making both you and Fred laugh.
“Yes, and for some reason I still do, but hey if you don’t feel the same way I can just-” Fred started but you cut him off, grabbing his suit coat and bringing his lips down to meet yours again.
“I like you too” you said, quickly breaking the kiss to speak, “since sixth year”
“So, technically speaking you could say that I like you more than” Fred said, making you roll your eyes.
“Don’t ruin the moment” You joked, causing the two of you to laugh before re connecting your lips again.
The Yule ball was absolutely better than you could have ever expected.
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Woooooo I hope you liked it! But yeah if you read this and really connected with it in the “I’m not feeling great about myself” kind of way, my DMs are always open, and I’m always happy to talk, so feel free to hmu. I love you all, you’re all amazing and beautiful and awesome, and thank you for reading <3
#fred weasley#fred weasley fanfiction#fred weasley fanfic#fred weasley headcannon#fred weasley imagine#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley x y/n#fred weasley fluff#fred weasley fic
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It’s been a week since the finales and while I’m over the moon about fire, I’m still so conflicted over pd, specifically Adam and how he talked to Kevin.
I know they’re brothers and the show will have them get over this, but if my white friend said what Adam did? I wouldn’t look at them the same way. I’d lose a lot of love/respect that I had for them.
And a lot of people (of a certain color) are saying it’s not a big deal because of the situation? But like those are his real thoughts, his filter is just gone. Maybe I’m just being too sensitive tho.
I’d love to hear your take on this. If your comfortable sharing it.
I've been thinking of this ask all day, of how to answer it. Because honestly, I have SO many thoughts on this, but I was debating if I should say them all or just sum up but I decided that I'm just gonna speak my mind!!
I, too, have a lot of complexed and conflicting thoughts over this. And I have to say, with stuff like this, with racial issues, you can NEVER be too sensitive.
Firstly, I agree. Kev and Adam are brothers, and the show will have them get over this, it wouldn't be realistic otherwise. But I really do hope they do it in a good, believable and decent way. Because I also agree with what you said about if my white friend said that shit? A little bit of my love and respect for them would be forever tarnished-- at least until I see some REAL improvement, which would take a minimum of a year to properly heal.
This fandom is a real good fandom, but yeah, I HAVE seen a lot of white fans not treating this like the big deal it is. The majority DO accept it's a big deal, but at the same time, they don't seem to truly get just how big, like how they think Kevin and Adam will have to move on from this is quite watered down.
Now, where I stand:
I watched cpd for Kim, Adam and Kev. I got into it for Burzek, and fell so hard in love with Kevin immediately. So when Kevin and Adam fight, I find it really hard because they're my boys! But it's necessary, and I think will help them become even more tight once Adam gets his head screwed on straight.
I do agree that they're his "real thoughts", but my take is that it's a little more complicated than that. Like Adam is a bit of a hothead, and that moment? He was more scared than he's ever been, and Kev, in his mind, is the only other person who loves Kim as much so when Kev did what Adam took as a "betrayal", Adam was angry. And that was shitty. And he should be accountable for that, AND for what he said.
But I think calling them his real thoughts is a little simplistic. They're thoughts that's going to be in his mind a lot, obviously, because Adam doesn't fully get this. So there's two layers to this:
One: People say things out of anger. I've got a temper, and I keep it under control obviously, but it's there, and when you're angry, especially betrayed and hurt, you just want to hurt people the same way you are. And when it's someone you really, really love? You say things you have maybe thought when you were a little annoyed but rationality won and reminded you it's a stupid thought, things that you KNOW will hurt.
And I think that's what this was. Obviously you do this, no matter what the reason, you need to fucking apologize and grovel. Like I'm not saying you shouldn't because I really don't think that. Especially as someone who's said really hurtful things out of anger, I PASSIONATELY believe that you should be held to a high standard about your actions. Because anger is not good, it's an ugly emotion, and you have to fight it.
Two: I definitely think those things are stuff Adam has thought before. I mean, thoughts in anger rarely appears out of nowhere, they're there in the background. But this isn't necessary a bad thing, or makes Adam a bad person. Like we ALL have less than nice thoughts, it's human nature.
And for Adam, he tries, he really does, but the man just Does Not Get all the deep complexities of the police reform. So I think his stance is, he doesn't get it, but he goes along. There's been those times he's argued, but I think most of the time when he's confused, he kinda just...has one of those thoughts but doesn't express it because he KNOWS it's more complicated than that, even if he doesn't understand it.
So when Kevin and Adam fought, Adam got ANGRY, because he felt scared and betrayed, and that's when he voiced all these thoughts he's thought before but kept inside because even though he doesn't understand why or how, he knows it's more complicated. But he was angry because Kim was in danger, and suddenly, it didn't seem logical or rational to keep by book.
Okay so now I've said that, onto what I think this means and how I want this go moving forward.
Adam was a jerk. What he said to Kevin was such a low blow, and things are going to be fractured between those two. And I think nothing Adam feels towards Kev has changed, but I do think they'll be that little emptiness in Kev, because hearing your white best friend say that? Ugh. Pain.
In a general sense, I think they'll be fine. But they can't be as close as they were, without Kevin feeling some sort of distance without any closure.
So in season nine, we definitely need our boys to have a conversation. And not just one, but several. And we need to see Adam make some actual changes to his beliefs. Not just half assing it bc he knows he's wrong even if he doesn't understand the complexities of why, but actually challenging his own beliefs and learning.
I think one of my main problems with this fandom (the white fans) is how much emphasis is put on both Adam and Kev seeking each other out to have a conversation. That's just wrong-- Adam should be the one. None of this, fixing this, educating Adam is on this is NOT in any way, shape or form is on Kevin.
What Adam said is hurtful, and I think Kevin still loves Adam, still sees him as his brother. But siblings don't always get along, or even like each other, even if there's that I'll-die-for-you love. And I think that's where Kevin is at. Adam hurt him, and that's gonna do some damage, and so even though Kev does understand, he's not gonna seek him out or try to fix it AS HE SHOULDN'T, because that onus is purely on Adam's shoulders.
Like. I think what white fans don't get is just how exhausting it is always having to understand, always having to be patient. Like yeah white people don't get the ins and outs like we do, so we're forced to always be understanding bc while we have to learn these things from our first days, they're just learning now. But it's exhausting, so that's why I really hope they have Adam seek Kev out, not have Kev approach him to talk about this.
(it's always why I love how they had Kevin full on yeet Adam, and beat the crap out of him. Poc always have been portrayed as patient when cruel remarks are hurled at us from people we love in anger, and I'm happy they showed Kevin snapping. Bc that was not on, and Kevin was just as worried about Kim, and Adam implying otherwise is wrong. It's also though why I also love that as soon as they were pulled apart, Kev stopped fighting/looking so angry quicker than Adam).
Like I'd be okay with Kev just saying, simply, to Adam "you don't ever say that stuff to me again." And that's that. But for them to actually have a conversation about this, has to come from Adam and HAS to start with an apology.
And Adam has to actively do better. Like no more just accepting things are different even if he doesn't understand, he HAS to learn everything, all the ins and outs, all the complexities, until he lives and breathes it as much as any white man can. Because I can't see Kevin having what was fracture ever feeling completely solid again without that.
And I do like that the show went there, because it's necessary and I think it's the best position for Adam to realise just how Shitty he was. Because Kim was found-- by the book. Like most of his anger was from how in the past, they've gotten their results by being off book, so I think in Adam's mind, he thinks that's the best way to secure safety. But it was by the book that found Kim, and I think that will really make Adam realise that these enforced policies DON'T make it harder to secure their own safety.
Also, Adam's presumably going to spend a lot of time around Makayla, and so forth, will probably get a lot of firsthand experience of seeing racism or it's affects. Like I know we wish he'd see if bc of Kev, and he does with a lot, just not other stuff, but it's different when you're seeing it through the eyes of a little kid, not a grown adult. And I think this will make Adam a lot more humble, which will help patch things up between him and Kevin.
And then there's Kim. People often forget how when you have multiple white friends, when you're hurt, your more knowledgeable friend steps in. Kim gets this stuff a lot more than Adam, even if she can never understand like Kev, and so I can COMPLETELY see her teaching Adam more stuff. Like because she'd want to help her boys, because Adam's a part of Makayla's life, because Kevin shouldn't HAVE to be the one to educate Adam, whereas Kim can bring him up to her own level, and that's when they rely on Kev.
So I think overall, I'm not that conflicted over PD because I'm really hoping this will spark deeper conversations and that Adam will grovel and fix his ignorant stances. And I hope to god they let Kevin heal and forgive in the way he should be allowed to.
I have a LOT more thoughts on this, including how I hate that they only show Adam's ignorance when a lot of the unit is also Not Great, and about partnerships and how Jay and Kev should be going forward. But this is getting really long now, so I won't delve into that or this any further. But I might, especially if it's wanted, because I have so many thoughts.
Also, thank you for sending me this ask!! I am ALWAYS comfortable sharing my thoughts on this fandom (about anything really, racism, sexism, ships ect) but especially the racism and the racial storylines and issues. Sorry it took so long to answer; I've been thinking on it all day, wanting to give you the best answer I could!!
#reese's asks#ree has thoughts#that no one asked for#Chicago pd#kevin atwater#adam ruzek#I'm sorry this is so incoherent
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but now i need the stucky fic recs
i haven’t read any of these since endgame so like....... hope they’re still good! truly a god-tier brainworm ship for those of us with internalized homophobia.
a close shave (M)
first of all newsbypostcard is probably my favorite fanfic writer of all time, so this is the first of many by them. premise is simple, after steve saves bucky in azzano bucky has difficulty reconnecting — until he asks steve to help him shave.
your homecoming will be my homecoming (M)
probably my favorite post cap2 fic, great natasha and sam characterization, bucky focused. all of this authors stuff is fantastic
The Thirteen Letters
the larger series this is a part of, not easily conquered, is like... Thee Fandom Classic for most ppl but I think this portion of it is by far the best and totally standalone. womb to tomb sweetheart etc etc, it’s basically another bucky centric world war 2 thing that is super well researched and just absolutely gutting
All the Angels and the Saints
pre-war to ww2, steve struggles with his (catholic) faith before and after losing bucky
closer, i need you so much closer (T)
missing scene before and after the infamous pub scene — my bookmark just says “GOD. TOP TIER ROMANCE!”
Practice Makes Perfect (M)
“It's August and sweltering when Steve asks, out of nowhere, if Bucky wants to try kissing. Just to see what it's like. Bucky then spends far, far too many years pretending it didn't mean anything at all.” pre war so sweet ugh
dead hearts and midnight cowards (E)
another nbp joint — post azzano ww2 jumping each others bones. probably my most reread fic it’s just SO
Goodbye Piccadilly, Goodbye Leicester Square (M)
this one fucking KILLS me. avengers find a time machine and without thinking steve jumps in to reunite with bucky. mostly from natasha’s POV watching steve try to find bucky. short and sweet and literally rips my heart in half. avengers adjacent stuff normally bugs me but this one is just soooooo well done
honey don’t feed it it will come back (M)
steve and bucky secret relationship during wartime
AND FINALLY THE ONE THAT STARTED IT ALL (for me)
Sincerely, Your Pal (E)
epistolary ww2 fic that has steve writing to bucky in the war throughout the early events of cap TFA that fully converted me from casual fan to like life-endingly obsessed stan. so we’ll researched and intensely engaging. and like. realllly hot.
Those are my faves, but I read at least 50 more by the same authors that were absolutely amazing. I do not understand how such a stupid franchise has such good writing. It feels weird reccing this now bc I don’t go here anymore but 🤗 ask and you shall receive.
also I do have a full bookmark folder of the Hannibal stuff I love, and there’s a bunch!!! if anyone wants those recs? It’s mostly just them being insane and I think every single one is explicit lmaaoooo so. Dead dove do not eat to a certain extent
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Bud I’m sorry to swing into your inbox uninvited like this but my soul is having an OOTS renaissance thanks to your content in the tag and did you say Leverage AU
haha holy SHIT this got Long. but yes. i’ve been. Thinking. (also literally Never feel like you have to apologize for sending me messages. i was Hoping someone would ask me about this. now i have an Excuse to share EVERYTHING ive written abt it :3)
Obviously, Roy is the leader/brains of the outfit. He grew up having some Strong Opinions abt what’s Legal versus what’s Right due to tragic backstory involving the death of his little brother which was definitely SOMEONE’S fault for negligence but since there technically wasn’t any illegal behavior, there were no consequences for it. Also he’s still angry at his dad bc he thinks his dad is also partly culpable (and also also just a dick). He’s the Moral Backbone of the team (alongside Durkon, more on that later) in basically the same way Nate was in og Leverage. He’s actually not the best at figuring out what people want (that’s Haley and, shockingly, occasionally Elan), but once he has that info, he is the absolute best at figuring out the ideal plan of attack to use in any given case.
Haley is still a thief. I mean she maps to Parker almost PERFECTLY. Her dad was a thief & a conman, her mom wasn’t but knew about it and mostly accepted it, but she died tragically in a mugging gone wrong or smth, which made Ian crank the paranoia WAY up and taught Haley to do the same in the name of “safety”. Let’s keep the “Ian is in Trouble and Haley needs money, Fast” which is why she signs on to the first job in the first place. She’s less acrobatic than Parker, tending towards finding (or making) weak spots in security, but she can still make a tumble check when she needs to.
Elan is the grifter who is somehow an Idiot but also not???? It baffles everyone. When he’s playing a part for a con, he’s FLAWLESS, but then the rest of the time he’s just. No Thoughts Head Empty. He probably gets lured in initially because he’s decided to try his hand at being part of a full team, rather than the two-man cons he’s been running that invariably end w his partner conning him as well and stealing half of his take. Also he likes the idea of being Crime Friends. He’s that tweet where it’s like, Roy: “after the heist is over, we split up and never communicate again” / Elan: [about to unveil his Crime Buddies Forever Friendship Quilt Puppets]: “never?”
Vaarsuvius is the hacker/gadget person. They have a Vaguely Snobby Yet Unidentifiable accent, dyed(?) purple hair (nobody has ever seen their roots) and nobody knows who they “really” are or where they came from, but they’re good at what they do so everyone just accepts the mystery. They probably got suckered into the team by their initial employer (who I’ll get to Eventually, lol) framing it as a challenge to their intellect, like, “oh, I see, you’re not smart enough to make this team work for you...” to which they were like Fucking Watch Me and also melted his computer. Anyways. They are joined (digitally) by their Intrepid Friend And Co-Conspirator (his words, not theirs), a fellow hacker known only as Blackwing, or, on certain forums, Blackwing_Bird. (In the first season, V only occasionally references him when saying they’re “calling in extra help” or smth for a particularly complex hack job. He starts showing up a little more in s2 and eventually by the start of s4 is a regular & established presence, but only appears as actions in a computer interface or output.) Elan is convinced he’s an AI, Belkar doesn’t think he actually exists, Haley pretends she doesn’t think he exists, and Durkon and Roy try not to think about it too hard, as long as B and V still get the job done.
Belkar is the hitter. He is on the team bc their initial employer got him out of jail for it. He doesn’t have a tragic backstory, he just likes doing violent crimes. As the series progresses, he grows some empathy & stuff, but really only for people who actually deserve it. Assholes still get decked. It’s all very touching. (Also he has dwarfism caused by achondroplasia. It doesn’t actually bother him and is useful in fights bc his opponents frequently have no fucking clue how to approach him, but he likes Pretending to take offense at stupid things just to see how far he can go with it.)
Aaaand last but not least, Durkon is the least involved member of the team. He’s actually a career criminal and Roy’s mentor, and wasn’t a member of the initial team that [redacted, I’ll tell you later, PROMISE] put together for a couple of reasons, the main one being that he’s Officially retired in order to spend more time with his family, which consists of his mom, his friend (not girlfriend) Hilgya, baby Kudzu, and a truly stunning number of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Roy frequently calls or visits him for advice and he Occasionally shows up to help out on local jobs, but generally he avoids doing crime if he can (as part of a deal with Hilgya, who is also a career criminal; basically, they’ve both cut back on the crime in order to provide a more stable home environment for Kudzu. But sometimes, you gotta do a little crime, and in those cases, Sigdi enjoys spending time w her grandson.)
NOW. THE BIG REVEAL YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. Who got the team together in the first place?!
The answer: Lord Shojo (or whatever Normal Person Name you want to assign him). Now this is where it gets tricky: he had them do a thing that they thought was good, THEN they thought it was BAD, but then when they confronted him he revealed that it Appearing to be bad was actually a test of character and would they consider working as basically internal investigators for him? But then he had a heart attack, so, rip. But THEN it turned out that he’d left them a bunch of money anyway and they were all feeling kind of Inspired so they formed the Order of the Stick, LLC (which, no, i am not coming up with a new name, actually, because I just don’t care. someone else can come up w a justification for that name, tho, i’m sure it’s possible). Also Miko was there and was unhappy abt their actions, and also their general existence.
Moving on. Villains!
Redcloak is the Sterling replacement, because that DEEPLY amuses me.
Xykon is a season-long main villain, probably one that Redcloak finds himself working for but then “teams up with” (read: blackmails) the Order to bring him down bc even Redcloak finds Xykon distasteful. That’s season 3, let’s say.
Tarquin is another season villain, say season 2. Nale probably shows up pretty early in s1, actually, as another recurring antagonist like Sterling but uh. Less good at it. Anyways the s2 final 3 eps deal with them (accidentally) discovering that Tarquin runs some Evil Empire Company, then trying to outplay him and take him down. Idk if Nale still dies in this version tbh.
Tsukiko is a one-off s1 villain who returns briefly in s4 alongside Miko, who has gone well and truly off the rails.
Season 1 finale has to do w Roy finally getting Vengeance for his little brother.
The vampire squad is the s4 finale villain who do smth terrible to Durkon and then get the Mother Of All Revenge served up to them by the Order.
I envision the show as being 5 seasons (like og Leverage) but I’m not going to sketch out s5 because I think it should be based off whatever happens in the current story arc, possibly involving some legacy of the OotSquiggle.
Other stuff!
The Order of the Squiggle is a legendary criminal team from the 60s who stole a BUNCH of famous shit & then proceeded to legendarily implode. This has no bearing on the plot I’ve sketched out, I just think it’s fun.
The Sapphire Guard members should probably be reworked as FBI. I don’t care about most of them but I do think that Lien and O-Chul could be like, FBI agents who Choose to look the other way while the Order does their very-much-not-legal-but-still-fair Justice Crime, and maybe even help them out on occasion.
So, the Final season-by-season outline, based on everything I’ve written so far:
s1 e1: getting the team together, doing a con for Shojo, then at the end he dies and the gang is like “dang what now?" and intend to split up except then they Don’t.
mid-s1: Nale shows up and tries to trick the Order, but then gets beat like a drum.
late s1: Tsukiko is an underling of the Villain Of The Week, winds up in police custody. But She’ll Be Back.
s1 finale: Roy’s Vengeance: The Vengeaning. also we meet Redcloak as an antagonist.
s2 e1: the truth abt Haley’s father comes out
early s2: The Two Live Crews Job but it’s the Order vs the Linear Guild and the Linear Guild ARE all bad guys.
mid-s2: Redcloak returns. ugh.
late s2: the sapphire guard FBI makes its first appearance, hello O-Chul and Lien.
s2 pre-finale: once again they’re in conflict w Nale over smth, he spends the whole episodes making Cryptic Remarks, they basically beat him (like a drum!) but then the stinger at the end is that Tarquin reveals himself and Elan is like “Dad?!”, roll credits.
s2 finale, part 1: Elan is hanging out w Tarquin bc he’s DEEP in Denial, the Rest of the team tries to take Tarquin down, but it doesn’t work.
s2 finale, part 2: Elan finally gets a clue and they manage to beat Tarquin. still haven’t decided if Nale dies or not, but I’m leaning towards yes. also they rescue Haley’s dad.
s3 e1: fuck dude idk.
early s3: Redcloak shows up, AGAIN, everyone groans. he has blackmail on them, he wants them to take Xykon down.
mid s3: The Rashomon Job but it’s about stealing the Talisman of Dorukan and it turns out that Nale was there too (“oh!” Elan says. “I was wondering why I looked so weird in all those mirrors! But it wasn’t my reflection, it was Nale’s!” “Sweetie, that wasn’t Nale’s reflection,” says Haley. “Huh,” says Elan, “so the mirrors were broken?”, cue eye rolling from everyone else.), and the Successful thief was Hilgya, who’d nabbed it from the owner before it even went on display.
s3 finale: they beat Xykon, actually factually, because he deserves to get his ass Thoroughly kicked, even if only in AU form. Lien and O-Chul are there, so are some other less helpful FBI people. There’s a bit where O-Chul Exact Wordses his way out of telling his superiors about the Order’s less legal activities without technically lying. King shit.
s4 e1: doesn’t really matter. maybe smth to do w some legacy of Tarquin’s company to set up the drama w Malack & Durkon later.
early s4: Durkon gets SENT TO PRISON. Malack approaches the Order abt this because sure they have Different Ethics but they’re still Friends. (Roy is surprised and a little hurt that he’s never heard of Malack, but he ignores that in favor of Let’s Get Whatever Fuckers Did This To Our Friend.)
immediately after that: Miko and Tsukiko return as a Team, preventing the Order from working on the Durkon situation
mid s4: Redcloak makes another unexpected & unwelcome appearance but he’s maybe a little less of a dick? the Order collaborates with Malack & his Crime Buddies (hello, Vector Legion) to pull one over on him tho, because “less of a dick” does not mean “a pleasant or decent person”, and also he was mean abt Durkon being in jail, so he totally deserved it. he still gets whatever he wanted tho, just takes a blow to his pride. also prevents the Order from helping Durkon. they’re having a LOT of setbacks wonder why that could be, not to make sure the season fills its whole length or anything, no sirree
s4 finale: something something taking down the organization, headed by Hel (yes that’s her real name), which framed Durkon for their Big Crime. Durkon goes free and Extra Firmly retires, For Good, He Swears, but says he “met someone new” who might be an asset.
s5 e1: minrah joins the team! and the episode is set in like, somewhere really snowy. that’s all i got.
the rest of s5: don’t know, don’t care, it’s open-ended until the comic finishes up.
#mine#ask#corvidcorgi#order of the stick#oots#leverage#leverage au#oots au#au#outline#haha this thing clocks in at 1.9k words because i am LITERALLY incapable of shutting up#hope u enjoy it bc i spent Way Too Much Mental Effort mapping out how the OotS plotlines might play out in a leverage setting#and then promptly ignored Most of that in favor of making it funnier & dumber & more villain-of-the-week#(bc lbr the comic is Good but it's got an overarching plot form that the Leverage story style does Not jive with)#i'm not tagging all these characters lol
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Brothers with an Mc who loves horror Movies
(Spoilers for the saw movies and others)
Lucifer:
- He definitely is a fan of movies like the ring over slasher films
- He appreciates the metaness in movies like Us or get out
- He can handle gore better than his brothers but that scene from Saw 3 where the guy gets twisted to death. Or in saw four where the guy gets his skin ripped off.
- Being a demon most of these movies don’t get to him but he hates human centipede 2 with a passion (I’m not going to mention all the fucked up shit from that movie but it’s banned in several countries for a reason)
- Honestly he does find it humorous how Mc won’t be affected but his brothers will get grossed out or terrified
- Personally I see his favorite film being either Vertigo or Pyscho two classics
Mammon:
- I love mammon but he definitely hates horror movies
- He likes to spend time with you sure but always cringes when you want to watch horror movies
- He likes the stupid horror movies like the ones so bad you can tell it’s fake or it’s a mock movie
- When you guys watched Saw he almost puked probably but the great mammon isn’t scared by human movies
- Well that was until Texas Chainsaw massacre
- Humans eat each other and you think this shit is funny?
- He probably thinks you’re mentally deranged but who knows
- He definitely had to go sit in a corner by himself after human centipede
- His favorite movie is Scream
Levi:
- He loves horror movies too
- He plays enough horror games that he finds them fun
- I see him enjoying the films where the ending is unexpected
- My mans doesn’t get affected by gore probably but will get affected by other stuff....(curse you human centipede 2)
- He’s a sucker for a surprise killer or killers
- Japanese horror? You know he is in to it...
- Until he watches it and doesn’t sleep for a week
- I think his favorite movie is 47 meters down because it’s not a slasher but is intense
Satan:
- Now Satan he probably hates horror movies as well but for different reasons
- He does that thing where you talk to the movie like “that was fucking stupid” (so do i)
- He hates The Friday the 13th franchise with a passion because it makes no sense
- You know he gets a big head about cult themed movies
- He’s offended by humans portrayal of him quite frankly
- He’s not affected by gore he just thinks it’s a overused troupe
- He has a respect for the really fucked up minds behind these movies
- He likes the Japanese horror franchise because some of them are truly gut wrenchingly terrifying
- He hates clowns (I don’t have a reason but I feel like he would)
- He watched terrifier with you and regrets it
- His favorite movie is The Nun
Asmo:
- Oh he hates horror movies
- Well except for the ones that are filled with Sex
- Now that doesn’t exscue sexual violence in movies (again fuck human centipede 2)
- He likes slasher films for that reason
- Almost all slasher films are full of teenage sex and shit and you know he’s here for it
- While everyone else just watches those scenes in awkward silence he vibes
- In movies with satanic cults or demons he’s offended.. Lucifer, Satan, and Beel get mentioned but he the avatar of lust does not?!
- You know he will use the excuse he’s scared to cuddle up to you
( I got distracted so I ran outta steam sorry)
Beel:
- he’s not a big fan of them but he enjoys snacks so he’s down
- he doesn’t like gore
- He’s a soft boy you know he doesn’t like people randomly being killed
- He doesn’t think people are tasty why do people eat each other?
- He likes #Alive mainly bc he thinks it’s cool
Belphie:
-this man is just gonna sleep through it..
- from what he pays attention to he likes the Shining
#obey me#obeyme mammon#obey me lucifer#obey me shall we date#shall we date#shall we date leviathan#shall we date lucifer#shall we date mc#shall we date belphegor#shall we date satan#shall we date beelzebub#shall we date asmodeus#asmo x mc#satan x mc#mammon x mc#levi x mc#beel x mc#belphie x mc#lucifer x mc
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