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capitalisticveins · 1 year

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Shaw Pack Hcs Part 4 (i think?) (Ft. Sam)

These are 3 pages long on Google Docs wow um

- Tank has smoked once, but didn’t exactly get into it.

- Asher and Christian put things they KNOW Milo will need on the top shelf of whatever house they’re in.

- Baaabe has freckles. Whether they're faint, or there’s tons of them, it doesn’t matter. They HAVE freckles.

- Angel may not be able to cook, but for some reason they can really fucking good. Cake, cookies, macaroons, brownies, lava cake, hell, Creme Brulee. They just find baking and cleaning everything up tedious, so they don’t do it often.

- As kids, whenever Kelsey came over with her mom to visit Arden and Christian, Arden and Kelsey would do anything and everything to scare the shit out of Christian.

- The only game Sam and Tank can play on equal grounds with no advantages towards each other is Just Dance 2018.

- Ansel and Bailey work on their upper arm strength more

- David doesn’t shave often, but his face somehow remains slightly shaven? Which is weird because he grows facial hair like crazy.

- David sleeps like a fucking corpse, that man does NOT move.

- Angel likes to shave David’s face when he’s asleep and keeps the hair in a jar under the bed in a box.

- Asher eats Kraft Mac ‘n Cheese.

- Tank LOVES frosting on cake and cupcakes. They lick the frosting off of those mini-cupcakes and eat the frosting first off normal cake.

- Angel used to believe in Herobrine, but instead of being scared or not playing the game until he was “removed”, they’d actively seek him out.

- Sweetheart’s impulsive thoughts have once led them to go tangible while in between a wall. It was excruciatingly painful and they don’t know how they didn’t get split in half.

- Milo would sharpen his teeth if he could.

- Ansel eats Crumbl Cookies, much to Christian’s dismay (he believes they’re undercooked).

- Asher and Baaabe don’t get out of each other’s arms until both of them are awake. If one wakes up first, they just lay there until the other wakes up.

- Baaabe didn’t go into elevators for a week after they met Asher. Not because they didn’t want to see him again, but because they were deathly afraid of being stuck again.

- When he was a kid, Marie would aggressively pinch Milo’s cheek whenever he did something bad.

- Baaabe took it surprisingly well when Asher first admitted to being a werewolf. Not because they were shocked or in fear, but because it explained a LOT of weird shit he would do.

- Once, when they were a kid, Tank got into a frosting container their mom used to ice cakes she’d make, and ate all the frosting out of it. They would’ve been punished if they didn’t vomit an hour afterward, since it was “punishment enough” in their father’s words

- Madelyn and all of the older pack kids (only girls) would have sleepovers almost all the time. Kelsey, Bailey, and Arden were invited, but not so often since they were younger.

- Sweetheart likes to buy square pillows so it can support their neck better.

- Asher, David, Milo, and Christian would try to sneak in or see what the girls were talking about, much to Madelyn’s dismay.

- David has a vase full of honeysuckles in his bedroom.

- Sweetheart can NOT hopscotch. They’ve tried and they keep tripping by the time they reach 6.

- Angel has once laughed so hard they passed out.

- Bailey likes to blow bubblegum, but it’s hard to pop them. Meaning if they grow too big she has to use her fingers to pop them, but then sometimes it gets stuck to her hands.

- Brooke has seen Bailey get tangled up in gum during a pack meeting, and had to go over and help her, but then he started getting stuck in the gum, until Amanda saw him.

- Long story short half the pack got stuck in 5 pieces of gum until David had to use scissors to cut them out. That night he prayed for a normal pack.

- Sweetheart was once compared to Sherlock Holmes. That’s the best compliment they believe they’ve ever been given.

- Baaabe always has a stupid and goofy smile whenever Asher walks into the room.

- As a kid, Milo was often left out of fun activities with the other kids. Bailey was the only one that stuck around him when they forgot to invite him.

- I.E: Brooke forgot to invite him to his 10th birthday party, and when Bailey found out, she and her parents took him to Six Flags.

- Other than the literal stealth in the pack, Brooke is the most stealthy member of the Shaw Pack. He can stop breathing for up to 5 minutes and cloak his aura enough for any normal empowered person to not sense or notice him.

- Tank has put mentos in coke and shoved the bottle in their mouth, Milo had to snatch the bottle from their hands after soda started spraying from their nose. Asher gave them 20 bucks to do it.

- David would stay up until 2am studying for ANY test they were given back in high school.

- Asher tried getting a tattoo in high school and told David, but David said if he ever finds a tattoo on him, he’d tell Asher’s parents immediately.

- Arden is the reason unempowered people in Dahlia believe wolves howl during a full moon. She makes sure that during ALL full moons, she’s at the highest peak possible in the town, shifted and howling as loud as she can. Only Christian knows she’s the one doing it.

- Tank has forgotten to put water in a cup of noodles once before microwaving it.

- Sweetheart has scared Baaabe before and this led to Baaabe cursing them out in a different language.

- Angel had braces from elementary school to high school, and keep unknowingly licking their teeth.

- David is NOT flexible, that man is as stiff as a floorboard.

- When Tank and their family first joined the pack, Tank was pissy and distant because they missed their old pack with their old friends.

-Milo has said “I’m walking ‘ere!” once, that’s the only reason Asher and Christian say it whenever he’s around.

- Bailey eats waffles with her hands.

- Kelsey and David fold their pizzas.

- Arden used a fork and knife to eat hers once to piss everyone off.

- Asher, David, Christian, Arden, Amanda, Brooke, Miguel, and Bailey have done the cliche “break a window with a baseball” in Amanda’s backyard once. Bailey broke it and was going to come clean, but Christian panicked and blamed it on Kelsey, who wasn’t there. He then tried to backtrack and blame it on Milo, who was in the corner playing with dandelions because they forgot to ask him to play. Bailey got away with it because Amanda’s mom believed it was him due to his lying, and no one backed him up.

- Asher tries to laugh more “cutely” or “manly” but whenever Baaabe says a joke he can’t help but laugh genuinely.

- When David was scolding Tank in “Confronted but your Pack Alpha”, Tank had a scowl on and kept looking at the ground. They didn’t make eye contact until the end.

- Sweetheart can throw it back

- David can be DEATHLY silent when he wants to be. This is why Sam didn’t hear David from behind him during the pack Solstice, despite his advanced hearing.

- Whenever the Sunbound Solstice comes around, and none of the wolves feel good or energized enough to do anything, the mates do everything in their power to pamper and take care of them until they feel better. The only exceptions are Tank, Sam, Milo, and Sweetheart since they’re all Moonbound. In this case, Baaabe and Angel wait until David and Asher fall asleep to help them out.

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constantron · 1 year

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silly riddlebat for @jovialjuggernaut-draws who writes most excellent fic

#riddlebat #nsft #barely anyway #batman #riddler #edward nygma

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suiheisen · 5 months

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fascinated/horrified by this set of tweets…

#the thing about these tweets is the absolutely rancid entitlement in them and then the attempt to justify it #'keep up a charade that the floor is clean' do you... not clean your house? do you not mop the floors??????????#anyway. are you americans okay???#specifically…. are white americans ok????#is the right to keep your shoes on also written into your constitution?#also the getting sick is 99 per cent random tweet is giving me brain damage #anyway. nobody is coming into my home with their outside shoes on #and if the feel of your bare feet on the floors i clean almost every day is so revolting to you #we have inside shoes?????#polls #*r

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xiewho · 18 days

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i WILL take any excuse i have to draw the abernant sisters Btw

#fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #dimension 20 #adaine abernant #aelwyn abernant #fhjy #me when im in a late episodical art competition and the opponent is myself #this does not apply to anyone else btw i just have to draw fhjy art every week or i die #this was gonna have a second part to it but i cld barely finish this one HAHAHAHA #been having an art moment recently #anyways ! theyre so.#aelwyn's first instinct being to copy fig's bit and fig IMMEDIATELY hating it #so fucking funny man #my art

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crocodiller · 1 month

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I must make Karlach happy

#there's barely any gold in there anyway lol #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #zevlor #bg3 tav #gale dekarios #karlach #astarion #bg3 spoilers #mydrawins

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ivysangel · 4 months

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Waking up with Jason's arms wrapped around you, feeling him breathe into your hair, letting out the occasional snore. His hand is under you, pressed into your side, and you feel him squeeze the flesh of your waist to make sure you're still there, a habit he developed when things started getting serious, constantly searching for you, even in his sleep. He squeezes a little tighter, his breath suddenly quickening at an alarming rate. You try to turn to face him, fear settling in your stomach, wondering if something was plaguing him in his dreams again.

When you shift ever so slightly, you feel the other arm lying over you tighten, pulling you flush against his body. A chill runs down your spine as you feel him exhale a particularly strangled breath, and you force yourself out of his grip, sitting up to get a better look at the man next to you. His eyebrows furrowed, hair flat on one side of his head from laying in one position the entire night. One of his hands reaches out to your pillow, searching for you in your sudden absence, and when it's met with nothing, Jason jolts upright. He turns his head frantically, blurred vision searching for something, for someone, for you.

His shoulders drop in relief when he finally stops long enough to notice you barely a foot away from him. You watch his chest rise and fall as he tries to calm his breathing, and you're not sure which thing caused it, the nightmare or the fear that you had left him. "What are you doing up?" he asks, voice laced with sleep. "You were having a nightmare," you say quietly, sliding a little closer to him and settling back into your spot on the bed. "I was just trying to make sure you were okay." confusion is etched across his face like the concept of him having a nightmare was foreign, and you develop an equally confused expression upon seeing his own. His face drops suddenly, and he clears his throat, "Right, a nightmare." he shifts beneath the covers, seemingly uncomfortable. "I'm all good. Just go back to sleep, okay?" he sends a reassuring smile your way, his attempt at trying to make you forget this whole debacle and coax you back to sleep, but it was too late; you were already wide awake.

"Was it him again?" your hand finds the scarred expanse of his back, lightly grazing your fingers against old wounds and trying to ease his angst; his body tenses at your touch, and a groan leaves his lips. "it wasn't-" he pauses, running his hands through his hair and sighing. "it wasn't him again. It wasn't even..." he trails off, turning away from you and sliding off the bed. "wasn't even what?" You ask, more confused than ever, watching as he lifts his arms above his head, back muscles flexing while he stretches before crossing his arms. He just stands there, back towards you, and all you can do is sit in silence while he seemingly contemplates something. "It wasn't what, Jason?" you ask one more time. He turns his head slightly to look at you only for a second and lowers his eyes when he sees you in the same spot you've been this whole time. "It wasn't a nightmare," he says, turning around to face you, this time allowing you to see his whole body.

His face is flushed a bit out of embarrassment, and your confusion starts to reach its peak. That is until you do a once-over of him and notice the patch of dark gray on his otherwise light sweatpants. Your mouth gapes a bit, and all you can manage is a quiet "Oh." his eyes find the same spot on his pants, a tent growing beneath the soft cotton. "Yeah. Oh."

#wet dream jason is finally here #editing this was way harder than it should've been #anyway hope u fiends enjoy this thing #that barely even qualifies as suggestive #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd smut #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood smut #jason todd lover

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kindnessoverperfection · 9 months

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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times

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ceci-seesaw · 5 months

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EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP

Thank u for coming to my ted talk

#pjotv #!!!!!#tragic how the bare minimum is so exciting.#if they have anyone other than the token manual wheelchair user. well then I’ll REALLY get excited #anyway.#sick ass wheelchair also. VERY appropriate for a demigod.#the tough terrain wheels active wheel tilt….they even have a bag #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv #pjo trailer

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ruushes · 1 month

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artisanal hand-crafted durge memes

#nox #shadowheart #karlach #gale #wyll ravengard #astarion #bg3 #my ocs #my art #alway feel a little sheepish tagging characters who aren’t rly the focus or are barely there but ik people use it to blacklist too so 🤷#anyway. screaming crying throwing up trying to find a drawing process that doesn’t take one million years continues #actually pretty successfully this time! these were all fairly low effort #they only took one million years bc i can’t focus on one thing at a time to save my life #oh and #blood #gore #trying to get better abt tagging that

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hailsatanacab · 6 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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beamattack · 6 months

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ken & shinjiro

#persona 3 #p3 #ken amada #shinjiro aragaki #i have barely had time to draw since august because i've been studying…. sorry. hehe #and when i've had free time i've just been playing p3fes #anyway i love these two. people experiencing the Mental Horror on a daily basis #nemesis #castor #ALSO I'M NEMESIS' BIGGEST FAN

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likeprongstostars · 22 days

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guys i promise i have other ideas i just go back to drawing domestic jegulus at every minor inconvenience

#me having 10 started wips #and my brain just goes #LISTEN... HEAR ME OUT... WHAT IF... BARE WITH ME NOW... we draw jegulus sleeping together for the 285th time #i think i keep drawing sleeping ppl bc i cant sleep myself #youve heard of living through someone else now get ready for sleeping through someone else #googling “insomnia symptoms” every 3 days just to make sure #anyways where was i going with this...#marauders era #marauders fanart #regulus black #james potter #regulus black fanart #jegulus #james potter fanart #jegulus fanart #my art

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pomefioredove · 7 days

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now I'm actually invested in this idea. maybe I'll write a full length fic someday idk... for now I have short hcs

summary: crowley decides to "give away" yuu to the highest "donation" for financial reasons type of post: headcanons characters: all nrc students additional info: can be read as platonic or romantic, except malleus is pretty romantic, second person pov, yuu is gender neutral, maybe a little ooc I wrote this as soon as I got up

crowley has had his fair share of "what the fuck" moments from you but this was really taking the cake

he acts so... casual about it?

swaggers into ramshackle one morning and says times are tough and your personal expenses are straining the budget so he's decided to "put you in someone else's care"

"The screening process will be vigorous to make sure you end up in good hands!" like you're a cat or something "Your expenses will be covered and you'll have somewhere to go during break!"

okay great. pretty obvious you have no say in this, so you don't even argue. what's the worst that could happen?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel find you the next day to say they're pooling their money to buy you

"To what?"

Epel shrugs. "Oh, well Crowley said we need to offer a donation to prove we're capable of supporting you..."

(you think that if not for the laws of this land you would have slaughtered that old fart)

Jack goes on a really long tirade about how shady and underhanded this is, making sure to reaffirm that he believes you should be free to make your own choices

"So you'll let me go once you get me?"

"Uhhh..."

Ace thinks once they buy you you'll have no choice but to do all of his homework for him

Deuce says that's not really how it works- and even if he tried, Riddle would kill him

(they've already gone over this twice before finding you)

Epel happily volunteers to take you home with him over breaks, probably the only positive in this mess

even if he thinks the whole thing is kind of funny

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

incapable of keeping his mouth shut, Ace accidentally spills the plan to Riddle, who is understandably aghast

you can't just give away a person under your care like a toy!

of all the irresponsible things...

of course, he'll have to put up his offer, too

purely for your sake! with a nicer room and a brand new copy of the dorm rules, maybe you'll stop getting yourself into trouble

he's got some family money (doctors, naturally) and considers this a worthwhile purchase, for his sanity and yours

of course, Trey and Cater overhear and may or may not be pooling their own cash for a chance, too

going behind Riddle's back on this is a risky venture, but hey, someone's gotta be on your side, here, right?

I mean, between a bunch of sixteen year old boys, the housewarden, and them, who would you choose?

actually don't answer that

...not that it's much of a secret, anyway. Cater's already got their gofundme equivalent link in bio

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona initially plans to have you become a live-in lackey like Ruggie

but then he really starts thinking- and, hey, the possibilities are endless, right?

for one, you'd make a really good pillow

he might have to kick Grim out for your full attention, but you could learn to live with that

and malleus would hate it

...that's reason enough for him

plus, he's got money to burn, so why not?

either way, he sets his bid at a reasonable (maybe too confident) price and sits back to watch the chaos unfold as everyone scrambles for a piece of the pie

news travels fast around school, after all

then Ruggie finds out that you could dethrone him as Leona's #2 and is understandably a little annoyed

that's his cushy post-grad job gig, thank you! he's worked hard for that!

besides, why should Leona get to hoard you? the guy can barely take care of himself!

so, Ruggie ends up outsourcing to a few dozen classmates for the necessary funds at a steep I-owe-you price

he's gonna be eating nothing but dandelions for a while...

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

now, Azul is annoyed

once the news goes school-wide, it's all anyone can talk about

talk about good marketing...

why didn't he think of such a brilliant scam? he could have negotiated with Crowley to have a café brand deal tie-in!

of course, he's already set his bid, with Jade and Floyd offering to pitch in as necessary

it's a risky investment, sure, but a worthwhile one

Azul tells everyone that with the prefect's "obvious" popularity, having them at the café a few nights a week would drive sales through the roof

though that's really just what he says to shirk suspicion

a likely excuse coming from him, though, really, it would just be nice having you around

and if not for his own affections, Floyd's incessant begging and Jade's subtly manipulative comments about "how nice" it would be having a new face around would be enough for him to cave eventually

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"Kalim, no," is the first thing that Jamil says

"I strongly advise against this. It's another one of Crowley's silly scams and you could end up a target bec- are you even listening?"

hint: he is not

the second Kalim found out that he could get to take in his favorite magicless student like one of his treasures, he was all over it

(AKA infinite sleepovers)

and for what? a little optional donation to prove he's got the funds? he's got cash to spare!

he's already got your new room in Scarabia set up before he even puts his bid in

right next to his of course :)

and despite what Jamil insists, he himself might be working behind the curtain just a little to ensure he's the one who ends up with you

after all, why should Kalim get everything? this might be a valuable learning opportunity for him

You don't always get what you want

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

as much as Epel tries to keep the rest of his dorm from finding out, it's inevitable

he's actually a little surprised that the news didn't get to Vil sooner

with Rook around campus, surely he must have said something...

when Vil does find out, though, he just sighs

oh, of course. what next, will everyone meet each other in the arena and fight to the death over the prefect?

of all the silly, immature things...

oh? what's that? he's bidding anyway? of course he is, silly potato. he can't have some unwashed miscreant making you sleep on polyester bedding

(really, he's the only person on campus worthy of your time)

Rook has also been mysteriously absent from the dorm lately, though his initials on a poem and a strangely large sum of money end up in the donation pile

but really, that could be anyone... Rook would never dare betray Vil again, right?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ortho finds out directly from the other first years and sends Idia the details immediately

with a little note of encouragement, of course: "could be excellent for improving your social skills!"

Idia understandably freaks out

"WTF!!!! nooo way! this is a person, not a chatbot we're talking about here! I can barely keep virtual pets alive!!!!"

(liar)

(...but this is still different)

the conversation ends there, but semi-anonymous bid from someone named "gloomurai" gets cashapp'd directly to crowley

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

everyone in the room immediately turns to Malleus

"For the record, I think it's wrong to be bargaining over a human being," Silver says first. "But if anyone could handle it with grace, it's you."

Lilia laughs. "Oh, you're just saying that because you like the prefect so much!"

"Father, you're the one who likes the prefect so much,"

"Oh, right! carry on then. After all, I'm sure we could share,"

Sebek is the only one relatively against the idea, though Lilia luckily manages to get him to lower his voice after his third speech about how you aren't good enough for his liege

Malleus is rather quiet through the whole evening, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with any of the points made

he disappears for a short while, and when he comes back he seems a little more confident

though, of course, he goes to you first

seeing him at Ramshackle in the middle of the night is a familiar and welcoming sight after all of the chaos of your week

and he's in a great mood!

"Child of man! I've come with news," he says. "I have heard of your predicament and have come up with a solution!"

you immediately sulk. "Oh, no. You know I think this whole thing is terrible, right?"

"Yes, Silver mentioned you might not like the idea of being bought and sold like a trinket. But worry not, I do not plan on paying for you in money,"

you pause, at a loss for words, and then tentatively continue. "You're not...?"

"Of course not. What a primitive idea, I was baffled to hear it myself. My proposal will be more traditional: a modest sum of treasure, and a generous amount of livestock and the finest crop Briar Valley can offer,"

certainly he's not this naive, you think

"You really think Crowley is going to accept that over money? I'm pretty sure Kalim just bid away an entire country's worth,"

he laughs. "You speak as if this is some kind of business deal! I'm quite confident that my dowry will be best,"

huh. that was a strange way of putting it

but then again, you still didn't really understand how things work here, so you go along with it

and you allow yourself to relax. he seems confident in his offer, and he doesn't even see you as some kind of prize to win!

"Oh, well, alright. Thanks! I'm glad you're on it,"

he smiles. "Rest assured, child of man, you're in good hands. My dowry will far outshine the others, and the wedding will be even better,"

"I was honestly getting a little nervous for a momen- wait- wedding!?"

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richardgrimes · 7 months

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BARBIE (2023) dir. Greta Gerwig + favorite outfits

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radiance1 · 2 months

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Another link to this post. Meet the parents style.

So, Danny and Jason have been fake dating for a while now, and ended up marrying each other solely for tax benefits. Also, they got cool ass fucking friendship rings that they just couldn't not wear everywhere and being married is convenient so...

Anywho, so Jason has met Danny's parents but Danny hasn't met Jason's parents. Danny knows that he has some ties with the vigilantee scene due to being a Crime Lord-he still doesn't know what to think of his parents connecting the dots immediately when they only met him once while it took him more than that while living with the guy.

He thinks Jason may have been an ex-vigilantee at some point before turning to crime.

Then Danny gets blinded by rich people aura when he finds out that his bestfriend is the long thought dead child of Bruce Wayne. Frankly, he's insulted.

You mean to tell him that his could've been buying ice cream from that high class place all this time!? He shook (literally he grabbed and shook him) that point into Jason, he doesn't care that Jason never told him he was rich but he could've at least bought some high class ice cream once in a while.

Jason who was busy solidifying his power as a crime lord, avoiding his family and making sure not to leak his identity at all: I'm a literal crime lord, and the only thing you care about is me not buying you ice cream?

Danny: YES!!!!

Jason: Dork.

Right anyways, so Jason takes Danny along to meet Bruce and his fam but did say as soon as he started being uncomfortable they're leaving. The batfam is a bit blindsided by Danny, because they thought Jason was bringing his partner but its good to also get a feel for Danny's personality.

Danny and Jason did what's normal for them when Danny starts getting comfortable around the manor full of things that cost waaay more than his rent. Like half-heartedly insulting each other, being snarky, leaning on each other and other such things.

The batfam start thinking that there's more there than they know of. So they start watching a bit closer and ask a few round about questions that fly over Danny and Jason's heads. They just forget they're married often, unless it's regarding taxes.

All of this sends the wrong message when they walk into the same room and, being nosy, one of the batfam comes up to the door and uh. They hear the bed moving quite a lot.

So.

Meanwhile, Jason is trying to wrestle with Danny because this man does not pick a lane. He'll either be the human octopus (who is cold as hell) Jason has ever seen, he'll try to kick him off the bed in his sleep as if Jason personally offended him in some way, or he'll sleep in some wacky position that interrupts Jason's sleep. The last one is tied to the other two, however.

So, Jason has to frequently wrestle this man into a proper position where they both manage to get some sleep and it wouldn't have been so bad if Danny wasn't a goddamn sleep fighter. He would know, he had to nurse a bruised jaw for a few weeks.

Why do they sleep together? Listen, when you're in an apartment with not a lot of money, you gotta cut costs where you can alright?

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #Danny and Jason are platonically married #I'm not gonna put this in the post but I had a random thought of Jack and Maddie meeting Bruce Wayne and they instantly clock him as Batman #It's not even Maddie #Jack just took one look at him and sniffed out something sus until his himbo brain connects the dots to him being Batman #The thing is they managed to find this out with barely any evidence so they think they might be wrong without knowing that they're actually #right #Anyways #Jason is tired of this mfer Danny and how he sleeps #Every time they go to bed Jason walks into their shared bedroom like he's about to wrestle a fucking bear #The batfam think they be fawking but they actually aren't it's just Jason wrestling to get a good night's sleep #Why did I make this?#I have no clue

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