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slasherbvnnie · 1 year

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Until We Found You | Part VII

Welcome to Part VII, we’re officially nearing the end... two more parts left of this mini series! It’s been fun writing this, I hope you all come to enjoy the next mini series or my drabbles. As always, heed the tags below.

Modern Day College Scream AU, Obsessed AFAB!Reader, Eventual Poly!Ghostface x reader, Eventual NSFW, All characters 18+

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VIII Part IX

Word Count: 1685

Music bounced off the walls of the Macher’s household, Stu playing one of his infamous playlists as everyone from uni was either drinking, fucking, making out or taking hits of various substances. Your little group was gathered in front of the tv, watching Halloween. Stu and Tatum were cuddled up, Sidney was leaned back in Billy’s arms and Randy was cuddling up with one of the couch pillows. You however were sat next to Colton, aka, the dude Stu had scared off the day before. When you arrived to the party with Sidney and Tatum, you two locked eyes and he was hesitant to walk over to you. You explained to Colton that Stu was just trying to scare him off yesterday and even though you explained how things were complicated- leaving out the whole being in love with serial killers note- he took that as still having a chance.

No one in your group noticed the glares Stu and Billy were giving Colton, not even Bailey himself, but the boys continued to stare daggers right into his skull. If they had been real ones, Colton would have been done for since the second he sat down next to you. Hell, they were probably planning ways to murder him the second Stu noticed someone had invited him to the party. Tatum had moved from Stu’s hold and said she was off to get more alcohol, heading out towards the garage. Colton took the opportunity to show to your friends that he was kind and insisted on helping her. The two left, Tatum raising her brows and smiling at you, mouthing if he was your secret lover. You laughed, giving her a shrug as she rolled her eyes and continued out to the garage with him.

After some time passed and your little group participated with drinking, dancing, and the respective couples making out in the private rooms, you and Colton were left talking on the porch as most people from the party left. Randy headed out as well, having an early shift tomorrow while your other friends stayed since Stu offered for them to spend the night. Sid and Billy were upstairs, Stu and Tatum off god knows where and you were just relaxing with Colton. “So is it really that complicated?” He questioned you as you shrugged, “we just don’t know if we want to be a thing yet.” You said with a shrug, Colton nodding as he finished off his beer. “I am going to get us some refills so we can finish this conversation,” he said with a smile as you laughed and nodded. You felt a bit weird, you were falling head over heels for your two masked lovers, but deep down inside you, you wondered if they would ever reveal themselves to you. You didn’t know if you could handle the heartbreak of never being with them. As he went back inside you saw Tatum emerging with a drunk Sidney wrapped around her shoulders, “I’m going to drop Sidney off at home, she puked all in the guest room. Stu said he’s gonna kick out the stragglers soon,” she said, you patted Sidney on her back. “Feel better, maybe Billy gave you mono,” you joked as she whined and stumbled off with Tatum to her car.

After you watched them drive off you looked back inside, wondering what was taking Colton so long. You sighed, about to walk in before noticing someone in the corner of your eye. You turned towards the figure, seeing your beloved masked killer standing there. “So you are stalking me,” you said as you stood up. They tilted their head, approaching you as you looked around to see if anyone was watching. You were about to say something else before they grabbed your wrist, holding up your arm to them before they swiped the knife across your skin. “What the fuck?” You yelled out, trying to pull your arm away from them before you heard glass drop on the floor. You once again tried to pull away, only to let out a scream when you felt the knife cut your side. You looked to them with tears in your eyes, “why?” You screamed at them before you turned to see Colton there, beers dropped onto the porch as he ran and pushed you away from the killer, “Get the fuck off of her, freak!” He yelled as the killer let go of your wrist, Colton punched them but quickly stopped when he was stabbed in his side. You let out a scream, adrenaline filling your veins as you tried to act surprised, but you weren’t sure if it was an act after all, they had tried to stab you. One of your secret lovers tried to stab you, the tears that fell out began to blur your vision. “Go get help!” Colton yelled to you before the killer once again wounded him, you backed away as you saw the blood, running inside the house.

Your heart was somehow beating a thousand miles a minute despite being shattered. You didn’t know if it was one of your boys behind the mask or some wannabe killer, but you cried as you ran, wondering if they were using you all along. You saw people scattering from your screams, looking around to see who could help. You ran upstairs to find Stu, running into him as you tried to get to his room. “Stu!” You yelled, putting your hands on his chest as you tried to get him to move. “Stu, we have to go, the killer-“ you pleaded, grabbing onto him as he smiled and grabbed your wrists. “Stu?” You asked, looking up at him as he chuckled. “Don’t worry, little minx. We won’t hurt you, not any more than he did.” He said as he held up your arm that was injured. “Billy sure is mean to you, isn’t he doll,” He said as he wiped away your waterfall of tears. “Sorry about that, he was watching us,” you heard the familiar voice say from behind you. You backed away from Stu, staring back and forth at the two of them. “What?” You asked, confused on what was happening, the adrenaline from earlier making you disoriented and dizzy. “Wasn’t it obvious? I mean Oliver? Oliver’s fucking goons? Colton? Hell we haven’t gotten to Sid and Tate yet,” Stu said as you furrowed your brows and squinted at him. “We?” You asked as the killer laughed, walking closer to you and pulling off his mask. “We, us, the two standing in front of you.” Billy said as you looked to them, stepping back away once more. You were having trouble trying to understand that they were the two killers, the two you slept with, the two you unknowingly helped cheat against your best friends.

“I mean, we never intended for this to happen, Casey and Steve were just supposed to be random, but since Casey was Stu’s ex we needed someone to throw them off. You haven’t known Stu for very long, I mean, two years isn’t enough time to really know someone, right?” Billy explained, stepping closer to you. “You were supposed to be target number two, but Billy noticed all your little papers and drawings about us,” Stu said as he stood in front of you, tracing your face just like he had before. “And we couldn’t kill off our first little fan,” “No, we couldn’t have. You were too pretty,” Stu said as he stepped behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as Billy now stood in front of you.

“Plus, with how good you made us feel, we couldn’t gut you after that,” he chuckled, tracing the bloody knife along your cheek. “But, Sid and- and Tate,” you said softly, Billy smirking. “It’s just taken a bit longer to get to them. Tatum was supposed to be next but your stupid study date got in our way. Oh, and Sidney is our big grand finale. But when you mentioned Oliver and his group, we had some other business to do,” he said as Stu laughed. “We would have brought you his heart as a little momento but you can guess how that would have been bad,” Stu said as you sniffled, “what’s wrong, little bunny?” Billy asked, you shook your head. All the information was hitting you all at once, Tatum and Sidney were going to die, Colton was bleeding out on the porch, and the boys you had known for only two years or less were the ones who planned it all.

“It’s just a lot,” you admitted, sniffling once more. “You didn’t even trust me yesterday, do you know how sad that made me? And- and you tried killing me! I mean jesus fuck I even had a crush on both of you without the mask! And all this time while you two have been sneaking in and out of my bedroom you’ve had girlfriends who you’ve been kissing and fucking and just-“ your rant was ended when Billy put his lips on yours, you pushed at his chest, backing up into Stu. “Don’t worry, you’re going to survive this with us. We’re going to move Bailey so Tatum won’t see him. After that, we take care of her and then we go get Sid. I mean, after all, it’s not us doing it. It’s all poor Mr. Prescott,” Stu said as you looked to him. “Mr. Prescott? But hes-“ “he’s in the closet. All tied up and waiting for his big debut, psycho dad.” Billy said as he looked to you. “Come on, get yourself together, it’s time for act three baby,” He said as he pat your cheek, flashing you his infamous grin. “Don’t worry, doll, you’ll be a big tv star. Gale is going to be up your ass after tonight! Up all our asses!” Stu laughed, “Who knows, maybe you’ll get the latest hottest actress to play you in the movie they’ll make about us,” he said as he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you downstairs.

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marvelfilth · 10 months

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Off the deep end 3 (18+)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Pairing: ghostface!Sam Carpenter x f!reader

Warnings: canon typical violence

Summary: Ghostface strikes again and you decide to take matters into your own hands

Masterlist

You're met with chaos when you enter the living room. Mindy is pacing, her hands up in the air as she explains something to annoyed Tara. Chad is talking to someone on the phone, his brows furrowed and his knee bouncing up and down rapidly. Anika sits still, her eyes locked on the TV and you follow her gaze, stopping in your tracks when you see the scene.

Ghostface mutilated two men, boys, from your class. Greg, the guy you've helped with multiple assignments is now dead, his fucking head detached from his body. Your eyes are pinned to the reporter at the scene as he continues on the details of the murder.

You fight the urge to throw up.

Sam turns you away from the TV and holds your hands tight, rubbing her thumb over your knuckles. "It's going to be okay," she whispers, "I won't let anything happen to you." She places a kiss on your open palm, and then leads it to her cheek, nuzzling.

But you're not listening. You're far too lost in your thoughts. Sam's here, with you. She was here the whole night and the day before.

Why would you ever think she'd take on the mantle of Ghostface, the very thing that almost ruined her life? It's so obvious now, no matter how hard she tries to hide it, you can see she's shaking ever so slightly. You see her jaw clench.

You see how hard she's trying to hide her emotions.

You pull her in a fierce hug, clinging for dear life, feeling her burrow her face into your neck with a heavy exhale. She's trembling with fear or rage - you're not sure.

You're forced to pull apart when Quinn bursts your bubble, phone in a hand. "My dad wants to talk to you." She glances at your joined hands, but doesn't comment.

Sam pulls away and steps away to a corner of the room, a crease forming between her brows as she listens to whatever detective Bailey has to say. You fight the urge to follow her to ease her worries.

"Are you okay?" The redhead asks.

You nod dazedly, not looking away from Sam.

"Do you want some water? You're kind of really pale," she mumbles.

You shake your head and finally look at her. "I'm fine. Do they know who did it?" You ask, gesturing to the TV.

She sighs. "No. There was only a mask."

You bite your lip, nodding.

Sam appears by your side a minute later, looking more pent up than before. "I need to go to the station," she says, giving the phone back to Quinn.

You knew to expect this, but still, your heart clenches painfully. This is really happening.

"What? Why?" Quinn asks, looking between the two of you.

Sam sighs, running a hand through her hair. You can tell she's conflicted, and the way her eyes keep flickering to the TV makes you reach out to her and grab her face, pinning her with your eyes. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No. You'll stay here. It's safer." She looks around, her eyes lingering on Chad and Ethan. "Don't leave the apartment, okay?"

She waits for your nod and leaves in a hurry, Tara hot on her heels, and you're left to worry in the company of your friends. Mindy spews out theory after theory, each one wilder than the previous

They get positively horrifying after the fourth one, and you decide to tune her out to keep yourself from spiraling.

Ethan keeps sending you worried looks to which you always smile. The boy is way too sensitive and kind to be caught in this mess. You just hope he'll make it out alive.

"Let's go to my room," Quinn whispers, nudging you subtly.

You mindlessly follow her, eager to get away from the overstuffed room. She pushes you to sit on her bed and pulls out a bottle of cheap gin from her nightstand.

"Don't ask," she mutters.

You keep quiet and take a swing, sinking against her pillows. She joins you on the other side, throwing a hand over your shoulders.

"So what's the deal between you and Sam? You guys finally got your shit together?" She asks out of blue, taking away the bottle so you couldn't stall.

You're thankful for the distraction.

"I don't really know."

"Come on." She clings to your arm. "Give me the deets."

You laugh, but shake your head. "No deets, sorry."

She groans, pushing you away. "Fine. Keep your secrets."

You take back the bottle and take a big gulp, wincing at the taste. Quinn's eyes linger on you, but you pay her no mind, worriedly fiddling with your phone, waiting for Sam's call.

"Who do you think it is?" She breaks the silence before taking a swing.

The hair at the back of your neck stands at the way she looks at you, her eyes dark and pupils blown. A side of her mouth quirks up in a subtle smirk, but you catch it even in your inebriated state.

"What?"

"Oh, come on. You must have a suspect," she presses.

You gulp, sitting up straight. "I don't know, Quinn. I don't think any of our friends are capable of that." You shudder, looking away.

"Well, it's someone who's close to the Carpenters, that's for sure," she mumbles, putting the bottle away.

You don't like where the conversation is heading. The thought of someone close to you slicing people for fun makes your heart drop to your stomach. You think about Chad and Mindy, the way friendship with them came so easily. You think about Anika and her unwavering belief in everything that's good. You think about Ethan and Quinn, two completely opposite people who manage to make you feel welcomed, with the same crooked smile on their lips.

You shake your head. "Maybe it's different this time. Maybe-"

Your phone starts ringing, effectively cutting you off. You glance at the screen.

Unknown number.

Gulping, you look at Quinn, who looks back at you with wide eyes. It's probably the first time you see her unnerved, her hands shaking as she gestures at you to pick it up.

"Hello?" You answer.

You hear a click of the voice changer before the person on the other side speaks.

"Hello, Y/n. What's your favorite scary movie?"

×××

Each of Tara's muffled sobs feels like a stab to Sam's stomach. She tugs her sister closer, looking between the shelves to check where Ghostface is. She still can't believe he attacked them like that, in the middle of the street, and followed them to the store, killing everyone in the way.

She looks at Tara to see her own expression mirrored in the brown eyes, determined and focused.

"Sam?" Her sister mouths, to which she shakes her head, nudging her forward.

They need to get out right now.

She picks up a can from the floor and throws it with all of her might to the other side of the bodega, moving the second Ghostface turns around.

She doesn't flinch when the shotgun fires at the shelves across the room, only tugs Tara harsher, almost dragging her along. They're so close to the door they only need to take a few steps, but that means being seen and she can't afford that, so she waits with a baited breath for a perfect opportunity.

Ghostface moves almost silently, inching closer with each step. Sam knows she's almost out of time, she can see the looming figure in the crack between the shelves. She acts without thinking, pushing as hard as she can against the shelf and burying the masked figure under it.

They waste no time running away, not looking back to see if Ghostface is following them and getting the hell out of that store.

Police sirens greet them at the entrance and Sam exhales with relief, only now allowing herself to look back.

The store is a mess. The mask is left on the floor.

Her ears ring and her hand goes numb from how hard Tara grips it. Her chest heaves with each breath and all she wants to do is go back home, put on the mask and find that motherfucker.

And then a figure rounds the corner and crushes straight into them.

"Oh god, Sam. You're okay," you gasp, clinging to her. "Fuck, I thought-" that's the moment you look back to the store, your mouth dropping open at the sight. You jump back then, looking them both up and down until you're certain they're fine.

"What are you doing here?" Tara asks, her voice wavers. "How did you know?"

You look back at Sam, your eyes wide and watery. The anger in her chest gives way to something warm and tender, and she doesn't resist the urge to scoop you into her arms and drown in your comforting scent.

"I got a call," you hesitantly speak up, voice muffled against her jacket.

"No, we got a call," her sister's voice hardens as she rises to her towering five feet and zero inches.

"Tara, there's no need for this," Sam butts in, pulling away a bit and putting an arm around your shoulders. She senses the change in her sister, the way her shoulder tense even more, the way her eyes stay rooted to yours. "She just got here."

Tara's eyes snap to look at her sister. "And how did she know where to go?"

"Ghostface told me. Tara, I swear." You don't dare to look away from her. You need her to believe.

She nods tersely, but suspicion lingers in her eyes. You sigh in relief. That's all you can ask for.

You turn in Sam's arms and burrow your face into the crook of her neck, adrenaline finally leaving your body as tears start to roll down your cheeks.

You were terrified.

"It's okay. We're okay." Sam reassures, enveloping you in her arms.

You nod, choking on a sob and cling to her even more. Her hands circle your waist, pushing you snug against her as she whispers sweet reassurances into your ear. Tara steps back, her eyes narrowed as she keeps glancing between you and the store.

"Sam." Detective Bailey comes from behind her, making you jump in surprise. "I need you to come to the station with me." His tone is apologetic, but firm. He waits for Sam to nod before walking away to speak to other police officers.

"Go home, okay? I'll get back as soon as I can," she whispers against your temple.

You grip her tighter, but eventually nod.

×××

You wake up to the sound of your alarm. You open your eyes slowly, blinking against the rays of sun that managed to sneak past the heavy curtains, and curse when you realize it's already morning.

So much for staying up and waiting for Sam.

Sighing, you check your notifications and groan when you see thirty texts from Mindy. You text her to let her know you're on your way, putting on some fresh clothes and hurrying out of the door, already late to your class.

You spend half of the day dozing off, empty space next to you signaling that Sam and Tara are still at the station.

"What the fuck, Y/n? First you run out the door like a maniac, and then Tara and Sam get attacked at a bodega. Where were you?" Mindy asks the second you get close enough to hear her, and pulls you along to push you down on one of the benches in the park, Chad glaring at you from behind her shoulder.

You take a moment to respond, gulping at the outright murderous look on Mindy's face. "When Sam left I got a call from Ghostface," you start, and Mindy already opens her mouth to give you a piece of mind, only stopping when Anika tugs her down on her lap. "You probably know the script by now, but they said… well, they said they know Sam's secret and she's going to pay for it, like, right now. So I ran to warn her because she wouldn't pick up her phone, and when I got there it was already late. Ghostface left, but Sam and Tara were fine, thank god." You shudder at the memory.

It's quiet for a moment as Mindy contemplates your answer. "What secret?"

You wince, knowing you're probably a suspect now. "No idea."

Mindy blinks and then nods to herself. "Congratulations, dear Y/n, you just dethroned Ethan as my top suspect."

"Why am I a suspect?" Ethan shrieks, looking up from his book.

"So she's your suspect just because she got a call? Solid evidence." Anika mumbles, earning a withering glare from Mindy. "Babe, I appreciate your input, but it's totally not needed, I'm the expert here."

You sigh, but decide to stay quiet for your own sake. Whatever you say will undoubtedly make you even more of a suspect in her eyes anyway.

You check your phone, biting your lip at the lack of messages from Sam. Quinn looks over your shoulder, a smirk pulling at her lip when she reads some of your texts. You elbow her harshly and she rolls her eyes, scooting away from you.

"Y/n."

You jump up, face heating up when Sam pecks your cheek. You face her slowly, raising a knee to your chest. "Morning, Sam. Tara." You try to smile, but all you can manage is a grimace.

She looks tired, dark circles under her eyes tell you off the night spent in the interrogation room and you wish you were there with her. She moves slowly, looking you up and down. "You-"

"No need," Mindy swiftly interrupts the older girl, jumping up to her feet and pushing Sam and Tara to take a seat. "The interrogation has been taken care of."

Sam rolls her eyes, but doesn't say anything else, nudging Ethan to switch places with him. She settles, sighing deeply and leans on your shoulder, closing her eyes. You bite back a smile, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Did you get home safe?" Tara asks, voice laced with suspicion.

She looks even worse than last night, her hair a mess, her eyes tinged red. You're ready for her to chew you out, no doubt she spent the night overthinking your every word.

You gulp, feeling Sam stiffen. "Yeah."

"So you get a call, they tell you exactly where to go and then you appear right after Ghostface leaves, when it's safe. Convenient," she grumbles, shaking her head.

"Can you leave her alone?" Ethan exclaims, throwing his hands in the air. "She's your suspect, we got it. Let's just move on."

Quinn nods, "You should've seen her face when she got the call. I thought someone died or something."

Tara sends you one last shrewd look before huffing and crossing her arms with a pout.

You curse yourself for being so stupid yesterday.

Sam's lips brush against the crook of your neck, muttering, "She'll come around, don't worry."

You nod stiffly, nose burrowed in her soft hair. Her lips leave a quick peck on your shoulder before straightening up and poking you in the ribs teasingly. You can't help but admire her strength - she was attacked mere hours ago and now she's back to her usual self.

Either her therapist is working overtime or she's found some way to let all that pent up anger out.

"You're protecting her, how sweet," Mindy coos before schooling her features into her best bad cop look. "What a coincidence that you two are my suspects too. Ethan. The shy and dorky guy who no one suspects because he's so shy and dorky. And, oh wait, you're awfully close to my main suspect." She rolls on the balls of her feet gesturing wildly, as she goes off on a rant.

It goes on for ages, making Ethan uncomfortable and squirmy.

"Mindy," you butt in, yearning a glare from Tara, but it gets her to stop and finally move on to the next suspect.

Quinn.

You stay quiet this time, listening to every word Mindy says. You've had this nagging feeling about the redhead ever since you saw that smirk on her face. It still sends shivers down your spine.

Sam notices the way you seem to shrink into her and sends you a questioning look, but your attention is on Quinn.

Mindy mentions something about cops and you perk up. "Why is your dad on the case?" You hurriedly ask.

Mindy's mouth snaps shut mid sentence, but she seems to appreciate the question, turning to face Quinn properly, hands on her hips.

Quinn rolls her eyes with a huff. "You think I know? It's literally his job, but he probably did it to keep an eye on me."

Mindy shakes her head, musing about the conveniences of having a cop dad. You tune her out, basking in the warmth of Sam's embrace. She smiles softly, and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. In this moment, no matter how short, you feel blissfully content.

When Mindy is finally done with her rant, Anika reminds you of your last class, speaking softly so as not to ruin the moment. You groan and untangle from Sam, making the older girl pout. Your lips meet in a chaste kiss before Anika finally tugs you away, too afraid of your new professor to be late.

You look back one last time to see Sam angled to your friends, giving them a piece of her mind by the looks of it.

It's not until you're done with your last class that Tata finds you in one of the halls.

"Y/n! Wait," she calls out, jogging to you.

You fiddle with your fingers, not really prepared for the conversation that's about to take place.

"God, you're fast," she gasps, using your shoulder for support as she bends over.

She takes her time getting her breathing under control and her hand feels scalding hot on your shoulder, making you squirm uncomfortably.

Finally, after a long moment, she looks up, a guilty look on her face, "I'm sorry," she starts, worrying a strap of her backpack. "For earlier. For accusing you and being a bitch."

You want to protest - you don't think she was being a bitch - but she stops you with a pointed look.

"Let me apologize." She waits for your nod before continuing. "You didn't deserve us jumping you like that, it's unfair to you. I just… It still hurts, you know? My best friend made a pin cushion out of me, and this situation is just a big fucking reminder. Because… you're my best friend, okay? You're like a breath of fresh fucking air and I love you for it, but every time someone gets attacked my brain just immediately goes to the worst case scenario and I can't help it." The words rush out and there's a steady stream of tears running down her cheeks. You desperately want to pull her in a hug, but she has your hands in a vice grip, keeping you in place, needing you to listen. "But I don't want to lose you. Not to Ghostface, and not because I was too afraid to trust you. So please, please, don't hurt me, okay? And don't hurt Sam. Don't you dare hurt Sam."

You barely manage a shaky nod before you're pulled in a bone crushing hug. You hold her close, blinking away tears as she cries freely into your shirt, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs.

"I promise," you whisper, a plan already forming in your head.

×××

In your defense, you've sent Sam a text the second you stepped inside your apartment.

Bailey called later in the evening, apologizing profusely and claiming he needed her at the station again. She left only after you promised her you'd stay home this time, no matter what. As expected, Tara went with her, leaving you with Quinn who invited yet another fling to the apartment.

So you took your chance and rushed to your place. You did cross your fingers when you made that promise, after all.

You don't want to unnecessarily worry Sam and you're sure she won't be able to read the text until she's done at the station, so you hide a knife under one of your cushions and settle on your couch to wait.

You're sure Ghostface will show up.

You ignore the rising panic in your chest. You know you have to do this for your sake and for the sake of your friends, no matter how scary it is.

You've had an urge to do this for weeks, but you were never brave enough, preferring to stay in the safety of Sam's room. Now it's necessary. Now it feels like your only option. And your conversation with Tara only spurred you on.

You don't know how many of them there are, but you know that the one you need will show up sooner or later.

Minutes tickle by and you grow restless, shifting unnecessarily and looking at every visible corner, jumping up every time a car passes by your apartment.

Eventually, your exhaustion from the night before spent running around and panicking catches up to you and you nod off, falling into a deep sleep on your fluffy couch.

You wake up to continuous tapping against your coffee table.

You yawn and rub your eyes, before groaning and stretching your stiff neck. You blink, adjusting to the darkness in the room, your hand nudging against something sharp, and that's when you fully wake, jumping up in alert and grasping the knife in a tight grip. You slowly turn to face the source of the sound.

Ghostface sits on the loveseat, her legs crossed and her posture entirely relaxed as she playfully taps her knife against the glass of your coffee table.

You take a second to gather your courage and lunge.

_________________________

Literally Sam when R did that:

#sam carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter x y/n #sam carpenter x you #sam carpenter x reader #ghostface!sam carpenter #ghostface!sam x reader #ghostface!sam #melissa barrera x reader #off the deep end #sam carpenter smut

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tightjeansjavi · 5 months

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🎀 Unwrap Me 🎀

A blue jeans n’Texas dreams Christmas special 🤍

A/N: Merry Christmas, you filthy animals 🥵

~word count: 2.6k~

Pairing | horse dad!joel x f! reader

Summary: it's your first Christmas with your boyfriend, Joel Miller

Warnings: smut, fluff,soo much love between these two, so much kissing and soft touching, mentions of Christmas, unprotected piv, oral (f receiving) dirty talk, praise kink, teasing, sex by the fire, no age gap, pre!outbreak/no!outbreak Joel, soft! joel,horse dad!joel, boyfriend!joel, Ellie and Sarah exist in this universe, reader has no physical descriptions such as skin color or body type, +18 minors dni!

It’s Christmas Eve, your first Christmas spent with your Texas Tall Glass of water. A lot has changed between you and him since Fourth of July weekend. You had gradually moved your life into Joel’s. It had started off with sleepovers, more shared memories at the breakfast table that had become a part of your routine norm. Dinners, movie nights, date nights, driving Sarah to school. You and Joel were nervous that the transition period of living together would sour, but when you love someone, you communicate and make the appropriate adjustments so that you and your partner can both be happy.

So when you suggested separate rooms so that Joel could have his own private space, and you could have yours, he quickly realized there were more pros to this arrangement than cons. Plus, it created a healthy boundary, and the level of intimacy you shared together was heightened as a result. Who doesn’t love having sleepovers with your Texas Tall Glass of water? They were so fun.

You were becoming the definition of a happy family, and this Christmas was special for all of you, but especially Ellie and Sarah who were officially sisters. The adoption process went smoothly back in August, and Ellie finally knew what it was like to have a real family who loved her unconditionally.

The month of December flew by in a blur and you and Joel found yourself wrapping gifts last minute because everything had to be perfect for the baby girls. Joel was beaming with excitement despite the amount of times he had accidentally gotten a paper cut from the damn wrapping paper, or a piece of tape got caught on the table, or his ribbons didn’t turn out the way he had planned. But thank goodness you were there to help him with those gentle hands of yours. He watched in pure adoration while you fluffed up one of his ribbons before setting the wrapped gift under the tree.

You were both wearing matching plaid Christmas pajamas, working side by side while It’s A Wonderful Life played on the nearby tv.

You only stopped your shared wrapping duties when the scene where George Bailey and Mary Hatch were dancing together, having fun and being carefree.

Joel tossed the tape to the side before he gently grabbed your hands and playfully pulled you in front of the tv. He dropped one hand to your lower back, pulling you flush against his sweater clad chest. You danced in front of the tv like two fools that were madly in love, and by god were you in love with this man.

It wasn’t long before he was kissing you by the fireside, easing you onto your back and only departing from your lips to grab a few pillows and a blanket from the couch so he could create a little love nest for you and him to fuck on. It couldn’t be anymore romantic. A crackling fire, glittering lights on the Christmas tree that Joel chopped down with his own hands. (What a sight that was)

His lips and hot breath kissing your skin, fingertips dancing, sweaters being thrown carelessly so you could feel one another more easily. Always needing that skin to skin contact. The thick drag of his cock stretching you open, the gentle roll of his hips, a strong arm wrapped around you, holding you close. Calloused fingertips brushing your chin, easing your head back so you can meet his lips in a dance once more.

He licks into your mouth, hot, shuddered breaths of mutual pleasure. His beard tickles your skin as you feel yourself consumed with all of him. Eyes rolling back, dumb smiles planted on your lovesick faces each time he fucks into you with that steady rhythm of his.

You draw one another in closer to your peaks, praises tumbling from your lips, toes curling, his thumb strokes your clit with his own neediness to feel your clenching pussy milk him dry as he spills into you, hips stuttering, moans muffled by a bruising kiss.

He softens inside of you, fingertips dragging across your navel, drawing patterns against sweat stained skin.

Another kiss treasured before he slowly pulls his hips back, softened cock slipping out, glistening under the warm glow of the fire in yours and his come.

He leans over, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “hot chocolate or tea before round two?” He drawls warm and deep, that raspy post-sex voice of his sending another gush of arousal between your come painted thighs.

“Hot chocolate..splash of Bailey’s?” You hum, reaching for his jaw, pulling him back in for another kiss.

“I like your thinkin’, sugar.” You can taste his boyish grin on your tongue before he departs to the kitchen.

Your Texas Tall Glass of water has gained so much confidence in himself these past few months that he’s shared with you. You’ve always been there to gently remind him that he’s a good man, a good father. That it’s okay to be hurt sometimes and that his feelings are valid. That you’ll always be there to listen, to guide him because he’s done the same for you. He’s taught you what he knows best, filling your brain with his knowledge of contracting, showing you the ropes of his skill.

and in turn you have taught him everything you know about horses and in those short few months, Joel has found himself fully immersed in your world. The business of Dream Riders has significantly grown, and your little herd of six horses has since doubled, and Joel was there with you every step of the way. Javi P, the chestnut, antsy OTTB unlearned his hatred of men through Joel, and you never thought you’d see the day.

The quiet and reserved rescued mustang named Din has found himself a place in the herd with his little donkey friend, Grogu always at his heels.

In the low kitchen light, Joel finds himself thinking of his future with you by his side as he tops the steaming mugs of hot chocolate off with a few marshmallows. Meeting you was one of the best things that had ever happened to him outside the birth of his daughter. He really wasn’t one to believe in all that mumbo jumbo about soulmates, but here he was, smiling dumbly out the kitchen window because maybe they did exist; soulmates and all that.

He heard your sweet voice travel to his ears from where he stood, missing his presence already. The thought sent his heart swelling up like a balloon.

He found you sprawled out in the love nest he built, with only the blanket to cover your modesty. Your eyes drifted upwards, glistening from the glow of the fire, hand outstretched in his direction because you really did miss him for those short few minutes apart.

“Sorry, honey bun. Was jus’ addin’ a few marshmallows s’all.” He crouched down, setting his mug off to the side before he handed you yours, leaning down to steal a quick kiss before he made himself comfortable in the love nest once more with his legs comforting laid out near the fire.

Your hot chocolates were enjoyed in a comfortable silence as the fire continued to crackle.

He rested his weight back on his elbows while you found your head resting in his lap, fingertips tracing patterns along his bare thigh.

“Do you..think we got them enough gifts? Can’t believe how expensive a damn PlayStation costs.” He chuckled, shaking his head with a grin.

“Oh, I think we got them plenty of gifts, cowboy. I just can’t wait to see Ellie’s face when she opens up the PlayStation, and when Sarah sees the new custom tack set I got for her and Frankie?” You said softly, leaning into his touch when the warm expanse of his large hand came to rest along the exposed skin of your lower back, fingertips brushing the curve of your ass beneath the blanket.

“I’m gonna tear up just thinkin’ about seein’ their faces in the mornin.’”

“You stop that right now, baby. Cause if you start, then I’m gonna start too.” You giggled softly pressing your cheek further against the warm expanse of his thigh. “I hope you love what I got you, Joel.”

“Baby, I already got everything I want right here. What more can a man ask for than two loving daughters, and the most wonderful, gentle, loving woman by his side?”

“You’re such a sap, Joel. Who could have been the cause of that?” You teased playfully.

“Dunno. Who could it be? Hmm..let’s see here..perhaps it's the stunning gal laying fireside with my come still drippin’ between her thighs? Ring any bells for ya?” He chuckled, slowly letting his fingertips dip lower between your cheeks, dragging his fingers through the seam of your pussy.

Your thighs instinctively parted open so his fingers would have easier access while your own traced dangerously close to his hardening cock between his thighs. It didn’t take much for either of you to get going again.

“Ooh, look who’s being vulgar right before Santa’s gonna come right down the chimney. That kinda talk is gonna get you on the naughty list, cowboy.”

He chuckled, eyes drifting downwards to where your cheek was still resting against his thigh before they traveled across your bare spine, down to your lower back and between your thighs where his fingers were lightly teasing you. “Mmm..well, sugar, your Texas Tall Glass of water has been on the naughty list for years. Say, you think Santa would mind if I unwrapped my gift early? Think he’ll still bring me coal?”

You fought the warmth rising to your cheeks from the filth dripping so casually between his lips. However, you didn’t fight the crawling desire to feel his touch a bit more as you slowly rolled your ass back into the expanse of his hand. “Baby, didn’t you already unwrap your gift earlier?”

“Sure did. But I think I wanna unwrap it a little more..gotta make it count, y’know? And what better way to ring in Christmas than to pull a couple more orgasms outta my girl. Remember over the summer, when I went down on your sweet cunt for the first time? Do’ya remember what I told ya, sweet girl?” He shifted his weight, easing your cheek off his thigh so he could face you fully. His hand left the spot between your thighs only to then gently coax you on your back. He was attentive to fixing the pillows behind you so that you were nice and comfy.

“Fuck..you naughty, naughty man. I lost track of how many you’ve given to me today, baby. We’ve surpassed the three to four times a day already, Joel.” You giggled, thighs falling open so he could see just for himself how aroused you were just from his teasing alone.

“What can I say, baby. Now that we’re livin’ under the same roof..you can’t expect me to not be touchin’ ya every second that I get. Fuckin’ addictive is what you are. You and that sweet fuckin’ pussy between those thighs.” His voice dropped an octave as he lowered himself onto his elbows, looping his arms around your middle, yanking you down gently so that you were closer to his face. “Christ, all this dirty talk got you this wet?” He peered up at you through thick lashes. “Still sticky with my come..fuck.” He whispered, hot breath fanning your core, “what a sight that is.”

A whine crawled up your throat as the broad expanse of his nose brushed against your inner thighs, dancing across your neglected clit and settling against your pubic bone. “What was it that I called it? Oh, right, the Joel Miller pussy eating special..” he chuckled, sending vibrations racing straight through your core and down to the tips of your toes. You found yourself fisting the blanket in one hand, and the other tangling through his soft head of curls. His hair had grown longer, and now was curling at the nape of his neck. You already threatened him to never cut it because there was nothing you loved more than ripping his baseball cap off at the end of a long work day, and running your fingers through his sweat stained curls while you rode his cock.

“Fuck, yeah, of course I remember that, baby. You literally sent me into a whole new world after that..” you rolled your hips towards his face, desperate to feel his mouth already while your nails lightly scraped at his scalp. “Well, if you’ve been such a naughty boy as you’ve claimed to be, why don’t you unwrap your present a little more, cowboy.”

He had that glint in his eye, one that sent your pussy pulsing desperately around nothing because goddamn Joel Miller and his big brown eyes, and his ridiculously large hands, and his Texas twang, and the way he loved you unconditionally. That goddamn Texas Tall Glass of water that stumbled upon your website all those months ago seeing your pretty face, bright smile and your arm wrapped around your horse's neck in a hug.

“You most certainly don’t have to ask me twice, sugar plum.” Was all he said before you felt his lips press an open mouthed kiss to your clit, dragging downwards as he tasted yours and his come along his tongue. He drove his face forward, one hand splayed across your stomach and the other clasped around your thigh as he devoured his favorite meal. He unwrapped you like the pretty bow you were with his tongue. Jaw going slack as he suckled your clit into his mouth. His eyes were locked on your face, the way your lips parted when he swirled his tongue in a figure eight motion.

He watched the way your chest rose and fell, head tossed back wildly, thighs quivering around his head, clawing at the blanket, tugging on the roots of his dark hair. His hand dropped from your stomach only to find your own. He laced his fingers through yours, squeezing your hand tight before he brought them to rest along your stomach.

He mumbled praising words against your ruined cunt. I love you, I adore you, I cherish you. My girl. My girl. My sweet filthy girl.

The coil was pulled tight inside of you, so tight you were seeing stars as you struggled to keep your moans quiet, but your Texas Tall Glass of water made it increasingly difficult to hold them at bay.

He drank you in, drop by drop, savoring the taste of you along his tongue before he finally let you breathe. And there was your man again, lips, chin, and beard coated in your slick as he nipped playfully at your thigh. His hand that wasn’t wrapped around yours, rubbed soothing circles into your skin as he kissed his way up your body to finally meet your lips once more.

You lazily kissed one another knowing that you had all the time in the world together and that nothing had to be rushed. But especially now, here in one another’s arms while you reached between your bodies, hand wrapping around the base of his cock so you could slip him right back in, guiding him home.

His head came to rest along your chest, eyes closed in a peaceful bliss while you gently pushed back his sweat stained curls that were sticking to his forehead. A tender sweep of your lips across his temple followed.

“I sure hope that Santa comes down that chimney soon just so he can see what a naughty, naughty, boy I’ve been this Christmas.” Your Texas Tall Glass of water murmured against your skin before visions of sugar plums and you would dance in his head.

banners made by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍

I no longer do tag lists so please follow @tightjeansjaviupdates for fic updates and notifications!

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imgonnagetkilledbynutstink · 6 months

Text

Jonathan Bailey says the most unhinged shit just cause he can. My favorites so far are (a lot of them need context)

*context: Jonathan at age 11 in school to his peers* "does anyone else think they're gay??"

*context: talking about if dating was better in the regency era or now* "well as a gay man *wink* I'm gonna have to say now"

"I think I might be the only out gay man to have straight allegations"

RuPaul: where do you keep your Olivier award?

Jonny: that's a secret, and I'm sitting on it right. now.

*context: Matt Bomer hurt his toe, this topic is brought up after a scene of Jonny sucking Matt's feet in a TV show has gone viral* "I needed to kiss it better"

#he's my favorite guy #jonathan bailey #jb #fellow travelers #ft #matt bomer #bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #crashing #sam crashing #gay #queer #mlm #lgbtqia

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sourcherryandsprinkles · 5 months

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hi! can you do a ethan laundry x reader where reader is ghostface too please ? (with smut if it’s possible)

Request: Riley!reader who wants to get revenge on sam for dewey’s death. She puts on the ghostface costume and is the mastermind for scream 6’s murders

I need someone to recreate this gif with

Warnings: mention of murders, scream 5 spoilers,

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

After years of surviving the masked killers, your father lost his life during the last murder spree in Woodsboro.

All because of Samantha Carpenter. If she hadn’t gone to your father’s trailer and asked for his help, he wouldn’t have died in that hospital corridor. He would still be living his quiet life as a retired police officer with a slight drinking problem and spend his days watching shitty TV while thinking of all sorts of dumb excuses to call your mother — and hopefully one day rekindle their relationship.

But now he was gone and you wanted revenge. Revenge for taking your father from you. Revenge for killing all hopes for your parents to get back together. Revenge for making your mother so heartbroken.

You wanted to stab Samantha Carpenter and watch her bleed out.

Once you got back to New York and started college, you crossed paths with other people who had the same dark urge. A grieving father, and his two remaining kids — Richie Kirsh’s family.

‘’Quinn should go. She’s fast.’’

‘’Sam is strong,’’ the redhead reminded them, knowing her roommate better than everyone else around the table.

‘’Then Ethan should go.’’ You glanced at Ethan, sitting before you. ‘’Can you take Sam?’’

He hesitated. He was confident about the elder Carpenter, but what if someone else was at the apartment? ‘’What if Chad’s there? He’s getting close with Tara and Sam is not letting Tara out of her sight since the new wave of murders.’’

Chad could bring a challenge for Ethan. Amber was able to take him to the ground last year, but it was dark and she took him by surprise. You’d rather not take a chance.

‘’I think it would be better if we went for Gale next,’’ Bailey said, not agreeing with your plan. ‘’We have to finish Richie’s movie—’’

The second victim was going to be killed using Amber Freeman’s mask. The same mask that was used to kill your father.

You slammed your knife on the table you were all sitting at, making the faux-detective and his son jump. ‘’She’s my mother, you sick fuck,’’ you reminded the older man, not letting him finish his sentence. ‘’You will not touch a single hair on my mother’s head, got it? It’s Sam we wants, not her.’’

Although they were crime partners, they were disposable. If any of them dared touching Gale Weathers, it’s their blood that will spill next. There’s enough rage in your small body to take them down.

‘’And Tara,’’ Quinn added.

You shrugged, not really caring for the other Carpenter sister.

After everyone was dismissed, Quinn went back to her and Sam’s apartment and Bailey to the police station. You could see on his face that he was mad at you, but you were the one in charge.

A chair screeched on the old wood floor and Ethan came up to you, a dark look in his eyes. He looked like a mommy’s boy in his preppy polo from the Gap. You didn’t understand why he chose to dress up in a ‘character’. All he had to do was use a fake name and pretend to be nice to Chad.

‘’The way you talked to my dad gave me a boner,’’ he informed you, not even embarrassed by it. You glanced down, seeing the tent in Ethan’s pants. ‘’He might be okay with killing his wife, but I would never harm my mother,’’ you said. Your eyes shifted back to Ethan’s face as you grabbed his belt to pull him closer. ‘’Besides, I’m the brain of the operation. I make the calls.’’

—

Scream taglist: @misfityanii @beautybyfire @iluvscream191 @mariposa555 @bella7866 @o638 @lulubelle14 @luvvtxinityy @frasersgf @Eddiefrickenmunson @jasperr-the-friendly-ghost @ghostf4cee @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @wandaswigglywoos @xjennyx2 @jennasslut @thatonesblog @mikaelsonsstuff @icarly23 @tcddszn @bt.oliana @skyesthebomb @a1mzcruml3y @red1culous @iluurmom @popeheywardssecretgf @michaelangdonsslut @byhrxb @kamthecoolest @kattybug @ravenstrueluv @landryslxys @die4niyahhh @sl4sh3rfuck3r @radiant-whore @Meadzy21 @luci1fer @nomorespahgetti @bloodyhw @depthsofdespairr @bellysbeach @wilmalovegood @loupiotesworld @wenvierismycomfort @t-candy @s-al-em @darylscvmdumpster @tommysaxes @adaydreamaway08 @johannelis2302nely @aqshua @lynbubble @luiise @planetkt @vampyrgoff @adrluvh @mymultiveres @miqi-16 @not-liah @lovenats01 @doestalker @lonelywitchv2 @lausley336 @arinexeisnotworking @halforangecuts @l3ndryz @ilovelandry @your-platonic-gay-lover @danniackerman @angelxxrose @lottiefromsam @thecrowdedstreetin1944 @cinnamonbun222 @angelxxrose @lottiefromsam @zoeynicolas @thecrowdedstreetin1944 @cinnamonbun222 @pumkinnroses @cruzgrecia @sunnysunny133696 @aesthetixhoe @gizmodecaprio

All and more taglist: @kenqki @hawkegfs @gillybear17 @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade @mellabella101 @vxnity713 @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart @xyzstar @graceberman3 @mikeyspinkcup @jackierose902109 @daisydark @laurasdrey @mischieftom @fanatic4niall @peterholland04 @idkwhattonamethisblogs @lexasaurs634 @notasadgirlipromise @zoeynicolas @thejuleshypothesis @multi-fandom-bi-bitch @lexasaurs634 @notasadgirlipromise @thejuleshypothesis @katherinejess @rafesgirlstuff @lafleshlumpeater @iamluminosity

#ethan landry x reader #ethan landry #ethan landry imagine #scream #scream 6 #scream imagine #cleaning my drafts and requests

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kitthepurplepotato · 3 months

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Chapter 3 - A wild Mama Dynamight appears!

Summary: Y/N gets the shove-talk.

Warnings: Bakugou drinks an alcoholic beverage, swear words, the chapter ends with a teeny-tiny cliffhanger (sorry)

First chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

It’s an hour after opening and Red Riot is nowhere in sight. You lay on the freshly cleaned counter with a sigh.

You got a little bit too used to have that ray of sunshine in your shop every morning. His pure existence makes your day better. Sometimes, you come in all grumpy, your mood heavily influenced by the lack of sleep, but one glance at the hero’s smile and the world is full of rainbows and unicorns.

Fuck, you miss him already. It’s really fucking concerning how quickly you developed feelings for this random guy. Okay, calling him a random a guy is quite rude as you literally grew up watching him in the TV, but he’s just a human, a human you’ve met only a month ago yet here you are, pining like a stupid school girl because the guy finally managed to get a day off.

“Waiting for someone?” Your boss mutters with a knowing smile which you answer with a big, loud and needy whine. She only snickers at that and then the door opens; you look up with hopeful eyes, searching for a blotch of red but you only find a blond dude in a cap and a face mask, looking sus as fuck.

Is he about to rob this place? - you wonder for a second; haha, he can fucking try, no one except your closest family members know this, but you went to Shiketsu High School and managed to get a hero license as well, so you are absolutely more than capable to annihilate a single fucker even with the lack of training in the last few years.

“Good fucking morning to you too.” The guy looks straight into your eyes with nothing but pure murderous intent.

You shudder under his intense gaze and your face pales in a matter of seconds. You have no idea what you have done personally to deserve such a stare but the guy doesn’t budge. He does look familiar to you though…

Uhm… haha… you definitely can’t annihilate this guy, because this guy is the Number Two pro hero, Dynamight. Oopsie daisy.

Knowing how much you’ve bullied Red Riot in the last few weeks, you have a feeling you are about to get “the shove-talk”.

“Good fucking morning to you too indeed, sir Dynamight!” You mumble under your nose, still a little bit shaken up by being almost murdered by his eyes. The guy keeps an eye contact as he puts his elbow on the counter; his whole posture screams “don’t fuck with me” so you… you don’t fuck with him.

Why?

Because this guy is Red Riot’s best friend. Otherwise he would be out of the door for acting inappropriately.

It’s quite amusing to you how much you care about his opinion; it’s not like you are dating his best friend or anything, you are literally just a barista who likes to banter with his favorite customer. Or at least that’s what you try to tell yourself when you feel the urge to ask a guy out and that’s like… every five seconds, really.

“Give me your best coffee.” Dynamight speaks up and it sounds like a challenge; and maybe it is, maybe this is the only way you can earn the guys approval.

Okay, you need to think.

This is Dynamight. He likes his stuff with a kick. A chili hot chocolate would definitely be something he would enjoy but he specifically said “coffee”, so that not an option.

A coffee with a kick… ahh!

“You doin’ hero work today, sir?” You ask nonchalantly while you poor some cold brew into a cup - Dynamight doesn’t look like a person who drinks his coffee sweet, but he also looks like someone who likes to be extra just because he fucking can.

“It’s our inventory and paperwork day, so we are the last agency on the call list so probably no.” He answers with a confused face but doesn’t ask any further questions about your silly question.

It’s time for you to make your favorite beverage… baileys coffee.

Yep, you heard it right. It’s alcohol time.

You give the drink a really light stir, just enough for the two colors to swirl together, then you top it up with some whip cream and finish the masterpiece with a hand-drawn explosion on the top (you don’t want to boast or anything but you can do a lot of stuff with chocolate syrup.)

You hand out the beverage with a massive smirk on your face and Dynamight takes it with a doubtful glare. He takes one sip and by the look of it, the drink kicks him right in the face; he stares at you with an incredulous look.

“It’s 8 in the morning, you absolute madman!” Dynamight fucking laughs, and that’s how you know you won this round. “Are you even allowed to sell alcohol in this place?”

“I’m not selling alcohol. I’m sharing my own secret stash with a friend of a friend. Don’t sue us, please.”

“Only if you make me another one for my fiancé, she will loose her mind from this shit.”

Dynamight gets excited for a second but then he schools his face into his usual scowl.

You can’t believe how cute he is in real life; the fact that his first thought was to share the drink with his loved one makes your heart melt. Now it makes sense why those two are besties. “So… Eijirou likes you.” The blond mutters like he’s talking about the weather. You have a sudden urge to drink some of that Bailey’s yourself, straight out of the bottle. “Red, shitty hair, sunshine reincarnation, rainbows coming out if his ass…” Katsuki tries to help like the only reason you are rendered speechless is the fact that you have no idea what the guy’s first name is.

“Red likes everyone.” You retort, faking nonchalance.

“I’ve been his best fucking friend for 10 years and trust me when I say, he doesn’t. Not like this, at least. I don’t know what kind of sorcery did you do to him, but…”

“I did nothing!” You retort loudly. “He’s my favorite customer, I like to banter with him and tease him. I try my best to make sure he leaves with a smile on his face. That’s all.”

“So you can see through his facade already. Impressive.”

“Facade?”

“Eijirou isn’t a ray of sunshine all the time. Not a lot of people can see through all the positivity he fakes daily to be liked. He’s sensitive and depressed. He’s my best fucking friend and if you break his fucking heart I swear to god I’ll chop you up and hide your body parts all over the country so no one can ever find you.”

“What if he breaks my heart?” You mumble with pout, absolutely not affected by the meaningless threats.

“Hm. You ain’t scared of me.” He mutters under his nose with a small smile on his face.

“Should I be? You might act like an asshole but it feels like it comes from a good place. Dunno, I might be weird. I’m glad Red has such a supportive friend by his side. He’s such a himbo sometimes, I’m a little bit worried for him.” You admit with a slight blush on your face.

There are a few seconds of silence between you two before the blond speaks up again:

“If he ever breaks your heart I’ll chop his dick off for letting such a good woman down.”

Needless to say your blush comes back with a full force at his words.

“Deal.” You mumble just as the door open up with full force.

“Katsuki, let her live! … oh. Uhm. I thought he’s… Nevermind. Hi!” Red Riot pants, out of breath. He also forgot to put on a shirt before he ran here. Oh damn, what a day to be alive.

“Did you just run straight here from your apartment, you idiot?!”

“Uhm, I felt like running today?” Red Riot pants with a massive grin on his face. You really want to know how does it feel like to kiss a guy with shark teeth… Y/N, calm the fuck down. Stop staring at his teeth. And his chest… those sweat-slicked abs… oh damn, call the popo, there’s something illegal going on in this coffee shop.

“Eijirou, you live 15 kilometers away and you aren’t even supposed to be in today!” Dynamight yells, and you can’t stop yourself from teasing the guy.

“Yeah, EIJIROU, give yourself a break!”

Kirishima… chokes on his saliva in the most unattractive way, but he looks so fucking adorable while doing it, and you kinda want to kiss him.

Wait? What?! You did not just think that, did you?!

“What if I wanted to see my favorite barista on my break? Am I not allowed to be in the area?” Kirishima gets a little bit cocky, probably trying to look badass and miserably failing at it.

“Look into my eyes and tell me that you didn’t get a message from my woman about me coming to check out the coffee shop.” Dynamight speaks up with a blank face, eyes staring holes into Kirishima’s skull. Damn. You see? That’s badass. The calmness, the way you can see Dynamight knows Red Riot is lying right now but he gives him a last chance to save himself. Kirishima cowers under his gaze, his body goes numb as his facade crumbles and he sighs, clearly giving up on fighting his best friend.

“The menace* messaged me…” Red Riot sits down on the nearest chair, completely defeated.

Honestly, if you thought Kirishima himself is a better entertainment than a sitcom, there two together are downright unbeatable when it comes to comedy.

* The Menace is the hero name of Katsuki’s fiancé. She started as a secretary at Katsuki’s agency after she got into an accident and couldn’t work as a hero for a long time but after she got better she joined Katsuki’s agency as a hero. The Menace was Katsuki’s nickname for her when they “hated” each other. If you want to read their story, read Bakugou Katsuki’s daily shenanigans!

“While I certainly enjoy your shenanigans and you two made my day, can you please leave now? Dynamight, your woman’s coffee will get cold. Red, no one will come to my coffee shop if there is a half naked guy sitting in the window, even though I must admit, it is a beautiful sight.”

“I’m… not even getting… a coffee?” Kirishima gives you the biggest puppy eyes the world has even seen while Dynamight snickers in the background like a cheeky child.

“Come here.” You motion towards the redhead with your fingers. “Come on, I ain’t got all day!” You reprimand and Kirishima moves closer, clearly terrified. You can barely conceal your smile as he finally makes it to the counter, ready to get smacked in the head, his eyes closed, ready for the impact. Instead of smacking him you jump on top of the counter and rake your fingers through his soft, gel-free strands as you leave a tiny kiss on the top of his forehead, an act full of affection and love. “Now get the fuck out of my coffee shop, you smelly himbo.” Everyone who hears your lovesick giggle is able to tell how much you adore this man… except the man himself. It’s kinda funny how oblivious the guy is.

“Yes, sir.” Is all you get as an answer; Red Riot is out of of the door before you can say bye; you stare at the door for a few second, already the missing the warmth Kirishima has brought with him.

“Wow, you’ve got it bad. I was worried for no reason.” Katsuki grins at you, sipping on his girlfriend drink, using the cute reusable pink straw you put in it for another brownie point.

“You look like a slut, Dynamight, get out and get laid.” You giggle while you roll your eyes, absolutely gobsmacked by the fact that Bakugou is… well… a completely different person than the loud and aggressive pro hero Dynamight you see in the news almost every day.

“Behave yourself.” Katsuki grins and after a lazy wave, he leaves; Suddenly, it’s way too lonely in the empty coffee shop.

“They are an interesting bunch.” Your boss snickers, her head poking out of the staff room door.

“Shut up.” You whine, only just realizing that she’s heard the whole conversation. “And don’t tell my uncle. Don’t want him to die an early death.”

“Yes, sir.” Your boss parrots; you really want to to go home and yell into a pillow out of embarrassment.

~•🪨•~

A few days later:

Kirishima is a happy child; he just got his favorite coffee from his favorite barista and if that’s not enough, he even got another kiss on his cheek. His heart has a hard time with the whole situation, it beats out of his chest every time Y/N comes close to him and he certainly needs to work on that bit to preserve this blooming friendship without ruining it with his stupid, unrequited romantic feelings but that’s a problem for another day; today, Kirishima is the one in charge at the agency, he’s the big boss, the one with all the responsibility and not even Y/N’s cheeky kisses can ruin his concentration as he stares at the CCTV, looking for troublesome individuals. It’s not like he doesn’t have specific people in the room to do this for him but Kirishima is a nosy little bitch and absolute likes the random funny interactions that sometimes happen on the screen; there is a guy who always dances on his way home from work, another one likes to pet the neighbors dog as he walks past, even if he gets bitten every time then there is that girl with two heads that likes to have a fight with herself in the middle of the street then walk into a lamp post by accident.

Today, he’s not looking at the random bystanders though; he’s looking at the camera right by this street, he’s looking at a smiling Y/N, staring out of the massive window, clearly daydreaming; Kirishima wonders what she’s thinking about and if he’s able to make those dreams come true.

Kirishima is aware that he is… uhm… a little bit creepy for doing this so he usually only does it for a few minutes then moves to the next frame.

They got a special security camera set up for that coffee shop after it opened; villains aren’t stupid to try and rob a shop right next to the big Dynamight-Red Riot Agency but even if Katsuki denies it, they both care about their neighbors and they want them to feel safe, hence why every single shop in the area has a special camera set up so they can help out in a case of emergency; fire, water damage, robbery, hell, they even send their interns to help out with rude, aggressive customers from time to time, just to keep the young, inexperienced hero students entertained on a boring day.

Kirishima is just about to look somewhere else, mesmerized by the sight of his… well, let’s be honest, crush; when he feels his heart drop down into his belly; three, masked individuals enter the shop, clearly up to no good and Kirishima doesn’t wait a single second before he jumps out of his office window and lands right in front of the (hopefully) unlocked coffee shop back door.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He mutters to himself as he sneaks into the backroom, his whole body charged with the urge to protect the sunshine of his life.

… next chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- I know, ending the chapter with that shit wasn’t nice but don’t worry, it’s gonna be fine. The angst will be resolved in the next chapter! And something good will come out of it!

- Bro I miss writing with Katsuki so much. 😭

- I hope you still enjoy this story! 💜 Send me your thoughts!

- If you enjoy my silly little stories, you can support me with some “coffee” here!

TL: @porusuniverse @sixxze @unofficialmuilover @cheesenmax @readingfan @sammmm29 @pwinglez1 @happydragonfrog @magicalhandsherringclam @lovingnightharmony @theequeenofcurses @kirishima-eijirock @nerinefy @selfindulgenthoe @fierysplash213 @woofwoofwolf @touyasprettydoll @confused-smol-fan

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #Kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou x y/n #kirishima eijirou x you #red riot x you #red riot x reader #Kirishima x you #kirishima eijirou x reader #red riot #kirishima Eijirou #ShenanigansbyPurplePotato

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azsazz · 7 months

Text

Change Your Ticket (Part 2)

Rugby Star!Cassian x Reader (A Modern AU)

Summary: Dating famous rugby star Cassian Bailey is a dream. What's not one is keeping your secret relationship under wraps. Will you and Cassian be able to keep from the limelight or will your relationship crumble because of it?

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,514

[Part 1]

_________________________________________

“Come on Cass, come on Cass,” you mutter to yourself, stealing a chip from Feyre’s plate of nachos. It’s only the plain ones left, hidden under the mass of other chips doused with cheese sauce and meat, but you need something to gnaw on while you watch the Stars game intently.

You’ve already peeled the label off of your beer bottle and drained it, rolled a balled up wrapped from a straw until it was debris in your fingers, but the nervous tension as you watch the game is almost too much.

You hadn’t been able to make it this weekend, wanting to work on some freelance projects you’d lined up and wanted to get ahead on. Cassian had been disappointed when you spoke to him earlier in the week, but you knew you would be too distracted by him if you flew out there and wouldn’t get any work done.

Now, you’re equally distracted, in the full bar filled with loud Stars fans, cheering and chanting and screaming as the evening grows later and the clock timer winds down.

It had been a brutal game thus far, and the Adriata Sealions are one of the Velaris Stars’ biggest rivals. There had been an injury by one of the team’s top players, Azriel Teller, and the grim silence that had taken over the bar at the sight of it had been harrowing.

He’d managed to limp off of the field just fine, Cassian’s body tucked beneath his arm for support. Hopefully it was nothing more than a rolled ankle or a bruised bone and he would be back on the pitch for the next game, but the harsh scowl on his face as he’d been led into the locker room is not one you ever want to be on the other side of.

Rhysand Cunningham, the team’s captain, had done a well enough job of keeping the Stars players in line, forcing the team to channel their protective energy back into the game instead of chest bumping the players on the other team, trying to egg them into a fight.

“Hello?” Feyre draws out, waving a chip in front of your face. You jump in your seat, ripping your gaze from the TV hanging above the bar. You and your friends, Feyre and Mor, are settled at a high-top table against the back wall. The pub is crowded, stuffed full of fans with Stars jerseys and star-shaped crowns on their heads. You’re wearing a t-shirt with Cassian’s number painted across the back, and you catch sight of similar jerseys, blaring the number 15. It makes you bite your lip to hide your smile.

“What?” you ask, realizing they’ve been talking to you the entire time your eyes have been glued to the match. The Sealions are a tough team, having gone undefeated thus far in the season. If the Stars manage to beat them, this will be great news for both the team and the city. “What we’re we talking about?”

“I didn’t know you were so into rugby,” Mor snorts over the rim of her martini glass. No beer for her during these types of things, your friend is too high maintenance to drink the bitter ale you’re downing anxiously.

Cassian’s lack of a lucky charm being at the game with him tonight shows. He’s not aggressive as he normally is, seeming a little distracted. His teammates are getting frustrated, clapping him on the shoulder in what might be support to the crowds viewing, but you can see the tightness of his mouth, the difference in his posture as he settles into the scrum to fight for the ball.

You shrug, sheepishly, motioning to the waitress who passes by your table for another drink. “Sorry, I just got caught up.”

“Caught up in Cassian Bailey, more like,” Feyre teases and you blush like you’ve just spilled your secret to your best friends.

“As if you haven’t been in love with Rhysand Cunningham since he was named captain of the Stars,” you bite back playfully, tossing a half-eaten ship her way. She squeals, swatting it away from her, laughing with you.

It’s true. Feyre had had no interest in Rhysand Cunningham until he was positioned captain of the team. She hadn’t even been that big of a rugby fan at all, not until you all but forced her and Mor to start watching the games after your first date with Cassian. They’d been a little suspicious of why you suddenly became so interested in the Velaris Stars, but you marked it all up to trending photos from the team photoshoot they did with Vogue.

Feyre’s wearing a jersey opposite yours, a purple shirt with a white painted number four on the back with Rhysand’s last name across her shoulders. Your shirt is black with white print and stars on the shoulders.

“What? He’s so hot,” Feyre swoons, pressing the back of her wrist to her forehead as she falls back against the cushy booth seat. The three of you laugh, clinking your glasses together in a toast when the waitress arrives with a new glass of beer for you, removing the old one from your table with a soft smile.

“They’re all so hot,” Mor pouts like she’s suffering anytime she looks at the TV. She sat with her back to the game, so she didn’t have to watch, because watching sports makes her feel grimy, but even she is wearing a purple shirt with a glittery star on the center of the chest. It’s not official Stars merchandise, but you’ll take it nonetheless. “But I prefer my men in suits.”

“Like the owner of the team?” You giggle and Mor gags. She brushes her hair off of her shoulder with a flick, red lipstick sticking to the rim of her martini glass as she plucks the toothpick with the olive out of her glass, throws the liquid back, and stuffs the fruit between her parted lips.

The pub goes wild and you realize you’ve taken your gaze off of the match for too long and the Stars have scored. You bounce up and down in your seat as the replay comes on, showing one of the team’s players tossing the ball backwards to Cassian, who slips through two of the competitors’ bodies for the try. The action puts them in the lead with only five and a half minutes to spare.

“Hell yes, Cassian!” You cheer, high-fiving the older gentleman next to you whose cheeks don two painted violet stars. Even the locals go wild in support of the team while they’re playing in another city; flags wave outside of pubs and homes, jerseys of all kinds as far as the eye can see, even the stadium parking lot is filled with tailgaters and parties, barbeque and brews. “That’s my boy!”

“Your boy?” Mor scrunches her nose and you fight to keep the redness you can feel crawling up your neckline to your cheeks. She sighs, continuing, “Why can’t either of you like actors or something. I feel like we have nothing in common anymore.”

Feyre shakes her head, “Five years of forcing us to watch The Holiday House and we still don’t think Helion Spellcleaver is cuter than Kallias Storm. I can’t believe you still won’t give this up, Mor. It’s almost insane!”

The Stars miss the following conversion and it’s the Sealions turn to attempt to score. There are only a handful of minutes left, and it’s looking pretty good as the timer inches lower and lower to zero. The match cuts to a commercial when the ball gets stuck in a ruck and the teams have to reset.

You’re about to reenter the conversation, but the ad that come on the tv as the announcers cut away is one you know all too well, and have teased Cassian about since you’d first seen it. He stands in his uniform, bottle of beer in his hands. There’s a lime tucked into the neck of the bottle and the volume is too low for you to hear over the sounds of the patrons in the bar, but you know the commercial by heart.

He's saying how he feels like he’s on a beach when he drinks the beer, and as he takes a sip, he appears on a beach right as an opposing player was about to tackle him. He looks around in surprise and his shirt is ripped off by a phantom wind. A dollop of sunscreen falls from the sky and a nearly naked woman walks by, handing him a pair of sunglasses.

You can’t help yourself, pulling your phone from your back pocket to snap a pic of the screen. You then take another one of yourself with your beer and open both in a text and send it to Cassian along with the message: Not fair, why isn’t mine doing that?!

Sending it off whilst biting back a grin, you raise your glass with the rest of the patrons at the bar as the ad comes to a close. Then, with Cassian, everyone in the bar shouts the slogan together. “Drink until the stars go to bed!”

“They’re on two completely different levels,” Mor is arguing when you tune back into the conversation, a cheesy smile on your face. She’s tapping a red painted nail on the tabletop. “Sure, Kallias Storm is hot in a blatant kind of way, but Helion is like a God, or something! Have you seen—”

“Yes, of course we’ve seen it,” you press, cutting her off with a roll of your eyes. Mor has forced you to watch every single one of Helion Spellcleaver’s movies. Sometimes more than once. In fact, there hasn’t been a movie night you remember when he wasn’t in any of the movies she’d picked to watch. “And yes, we think he’s hot, I just personally feel like Cassian Bailey is hotter.”

You can’t wait until he’s back in town next week. You miss him deeply, even though you had the chance to go and see him for his match tonight. Sometimes, the long distance can be hard, when your days are filled with work and his with practice, matches, and press. There are days you aren’t able to speak, texts gone unanswered until the late hours of the night.

It’s then that makes it all worth it, hearing Cassian’s voice before you go to sleep. Without fail, he calls you every night when he’s away, all settled into the hotel and sleep paints his voice groggy. It comforts you more than he knows, hearing his voice. Even if he somehow manages to fall asleep during one of your many unimportant stories about mundane things, the even breaths heard through the phone are a lullaby themselves.

“I still think the hottest man is Rhysand Cunningham, if anyone is keeping score,” Feyre adds with a slight smile.

“Oh, whatever. We can have this conversation for hours,” Mor waves her hand dismissively, then uses it to shoo away the man who’d been walking past your table who had stopped to ogle her. Or maybe he’s trying to work up the courage to talk to the woman, but the look of concentration—or perhaps it’s constipation—on his face. “Go on now, I’m way out of your league buddy, and not at all interested.” Your jaw almost falls to the floor at her abruptness, but the man nods and quickly disappears. Mor turns back to you and Feyre. “Is this game almost over by the way? I’m getting a headache from all of the beer and screaming.”

“You haven’t even had any beer, Mor,” you point out and she cuts you a look.

“I know that, I just hate the smell. How can you both drink that piss?”

You and Feyre share a glance, as if deciding who is going to take this question that she certainly doesn’t want the answer to. Your shoulders fall, and Feyre’s blue eyes brighten. You’ll answer, then.

“I was hoping it’d transport me to a tropical vacation,” you responding longingly, staring into the glass of ale. “Maybe if I drink it until the stars go to bed, it’ll work then?”

Mor shoves out of her seat with a tut. “You’re incorrigible, (Y/N).”

You raise your glass, smirking at your friend. “I aim to please.”

Mor stalks off to find the bathroom while you and Feyre giggle, turning your attention back to the TV. The game is back on and there’s only a minute left now, but the Sealions still hold the ball. Their team is smart and their wall of players is strong. It barely looks like the Stars are affecting them, with the skill in which they pass the ball back to their next in line as they race towards the Stars’ goal line.

“Oh fuck,” Feyre mutters, watching as intently as you.

You’re chewing at your lip, staring at the screen. Most of the conversations happening in the bar have gone quiet, every patron on the edge of their seat as they watch what will be the final play of the game.

You catch sight of Cassian who is trying to steamroll his way to the ball, but the Sealions are all in unison with their plan, and the player tosses the ball to the next, who barges past Rhysand and across the goal line.

“Shit,” you agree, slamming back the last swigs of your drink.

If the Sealions get a conversion, they’ll win the match.

The player who is going to kick the conversion sets up the ball, eyeing the goal. Once it’s perfect, he stands, taking a few steps back, gauging the distance. His fellow teammates watch on, while the Stars ready themselves by the posts, eager for him to miss.

The Sealion’s player charges and kicks the ball with a wicked arc that sadly, soars right through the goal posts.

The entire bar rattles with disappointment, curses and shouts filling the room, along with a simultaneous screech of chairs being shoved away from tables as people rise to pay their tabs and leave. Your heart sinks in disappointment, knowing how upset Cassian will be with this outcome, and even more so when he returns to his empty hotel room.

The camera cuts in close on the Stars players, heads hung and consoling each other as they make their way to congratulate the Sealions. Cassian and Rhysand have their arms draped over each other’s shoulders, talking with their head bowed. You’re positive Azriel Teller is kicking himself for being injured and taken out of the game, too.

“Why the long faces?” Mor asks, plopping her purse on the table before sliding back into her seat. She’s clearly ignored the grumbling and now grumpy Stars’ fans that are starting to close their tabs and wallow on the way back to their homes. A few of the regulars seem to be straying to drown their sorrows in a few more glasses of beer. “Did Helion Spellcleaver walk in here and I missed him?”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•

Change Your Ticket Taglist: @justasillylittlegoofyguy @starsinyourseyes @jdeclerc @indiedash

#cassian #cassian x reader #acotar #azsazz #acomaf #acowar #cassian au #rugby!cassian au #rugby!cassian #acotar au #change your ticket

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weclassybouquetfun · 7 months

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I remember on the run-up to the release of Harry Styles' 2022 film MY POLICEMAN a critic I followed on Twitter would rave in reminiscence of seeing the love scene at some pre-screening and how revolutionary it was. Then when the film was released he walked back his raves because it wasn't how he remembered it and he admitted to maybe over-egging it because he was so happy to see a a gay love scene.

But here's to films/tv shows that don't over-egg. That don't gas up the sex scenes so that when viewers finally see it they'd be like

Instead they could be pleasantly surprised much like I was when I saw Ira Sach's PASSAGES

and the Paramount+ limited series FELLOW TRAVELERS.

Ben Whishaw, I have too much respect for you to nearly stare into your bumhole. I lreserve that for when I'm watching Aaron Taylor-Johnson in SAVAGES.

If only the relationship between Ben and Franz's characters was this wholesome in the film.

-Ben is rumoured to be dating his THIS IS GOING TO HURT costar Kadiff Kirwan of MY POLICEMAN and currently in SLOW HORSES and the charming C4 comedy EVERYONE ELSE BURNS (which is airing in the US on the CW).

Next up for Ben?

Netflix's thriller BLACK DOVES where he will play the longtime confidante of Keira Knightley's Helen.

-He has a short film that people are hoping for Oscars consideration, which will be tough when Wes Anderson's quartet of short films

are out there, but surely it's better than the pair of Pedro Almodovar's short films STRANGE WAY OF LIFE and THE HUMAN VOICE

I know, Ben. They were just the worst!

Surely, GOOD BOY will be better.

What is GOOD BOY about?

"Danny (Whishaw) is a man who attempts to rob a bank with the help of his anarchic mother Jackie (Marion Bailey). But his plans are foiled when confronted by his family doctor outside the bank. What follows is a poignant and original portrayal of grief and desperation."

-A long ways off is the third installment of the PADDINGTON films. PADDINGTON IN PERU will be released November 2024 in the UK and January 2025 in the U.S. Due to the SAG-AFTRA strike Rachel Zegler (THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES) has departed the project. She has been replaced by Gina Cabot of HBO Espana's 30 MONEDAS/ 30 COINS (whose second series is currently airing on Max).

#ben whishaw #passages #franz rogowski #ira sachs #fellow travelers #jonathan bailey #matthew bomer #matt bomer #mlm #lgbtqia #movies #movie talk #tv talk #paddington in peru #black doves #good boy #short films #kadiff kirwan #long post

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panelshowsource · 21 days

Note

rather than who you would like to see on the next taskmaster series, who do you think will be on it? like just your predictions or any inklings you may have!

anon if you're still around then you'll know i really took my time with this hahaha so sorry! i hope anyone reading this takes it as just a bit of fun and nbd, who knows who we'll get or who alex & the network have in mind! i'm answering thoughtfully (bc i always feel guilty not to 😩 so sorry this is long lol) but it's really just fun!!

i will say, of the more recent-ish series, i did get a few right!!! krishnan guru-murthy, nicola coughlan, alan davies, judi love, sue perkins, john robins, and joanne mcnally were people i just knew would eventually be on if the show could get their schedules right, and i was also certain sarah millican and dara ó briain would be asked — though not necessarily that they'd actually agree. when you have a level of seniority and esteem, the "it's such a great opportunity" aspect of the show isn't such a draw 😅 for some reason i feel SO PROUD about guessing nicola! i was just WAITING and wish sooooo much she had done a full series 😭😭😭 (how fun would saoirse-monica jackson be too!)

anyways, as for people who haven't been on yet — and this isn't to say i want them all to be, just that i think it's likeliest they have been asked or will be asked; i talked about who i want to see a little while ago here — it's important to consider the casting 'roles' the network has in mind when working with the producers to form a series, so i will keep that in mind too!

established comedian, typically a straight white man over 40: bill bailey, vic reeves, harry hill, geoff norcott, kevin bridges, adam buxton, ade edmondson (tommy tiernan? god i feel bad for not saying ed byrne but why do i feel like he's not gonna make it in the next few series? i'm on the fence with nick helm — unless he's friends with alex, then his chances go up significantly imo — and tom allen for some reason, and i feel like john bishop is almost too much of an ask?)

fresh talent comedian, typically a man under 40: rhys james, huge davies, ahir shah, darren harriott would be my top guesses but tbh any of the semi-recent edinburgh comedy award finalists are good bets as a majority of the winners from the last ~10 years have been on the series + throwing out tom rosenthal (i know he's not fresh fresh and also mostly an actor)...and, like, jazz emu?...just because if taskmaster know how much its audience adores weird little white twinks then they'll cast them

female or non-binary comedian: 100% sarah keyworth + harriet kemsley, maisie adam, jess fostekew, suzi ruffell. i've shifted away from betting on cariad lloyd and catherine bohart for some reason... (joanne was my no.1 lady bet for the last like 4 series hahaha)

non-comedian: this is very, very hard to predict because between comedy actors, non-comedy actors, tv presenters, news people, reality & social media stars... the potential predictions are just so endless! logically, the most likely is an established actor with a lot of comedy connections (think sally phillips, lolly adefope, liza tarbuck, sian gibson, daisy may cooper, susan wokoma; this category is where tm gets quite a few of its female contestants): matt holness, kevin eldon, amanda abbington, tom davis, sharon horgan, kathy burke, georgia tennant (also friends w alex?), su pollard, tom basden, apparently anyone from the cast of ghosts, and so on and so on and so on... + i'll also throw out maggie aderin-pocock as a serious contender + i really feel like one of the spice girls will be on new years treat

friend of alex: john robins was the prediction for the past few series, so just worth keeping in mind other people in this circle include elis james, matthew crosby, tom neenan, and so on

freebie answers because alex/greg have mentioned them before: jack dee, lorraine kelly, joanna lumley (i want jennifer saunders SO BAD give us an epic series w both ade and jen pleaseeee tm gods!!!!)

complete wild card bets that are either my instincts kicking in or my bias taking over: limmy, adam buxton, paddy mcguinness, diane morgan, daniel sloss, joel dommett, jess hynes, spencer jones??, alasdair beckett-king or josh pugh + if suzy izzard wasn't doing a big nyc show i'd say that's a good guess if only bc you know greg & alex grew up big fans

did i mention too many people?? if i had to put my money behind a single person it would be either ahir shah or sarah keyworth

these are almost all of my fr big heavy hitters when it comes to placing bets! but there are of course so many people i didn't name who i could totally see on either a main series or the ny treat — so many people just make sense and that's the beauty of taskmaster!!

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itsbansheebitch · 1 month

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More thoughts

I get both sides, but I feel a little confused they couldn't find four people in their +25 employees

Data analyst (Are you seriously telling me you couldn't personally email or even just HIRE matpat's team who do data analytics as part of Theorist Media to help??? The man would be overjoyed to help???)

Editor (Put the first $6 towards a can of coffee grounds, dude)

PR Team (Even, like, a single person, please, for the love of god)

Business Major (Or literally anyone that has taken a home ec/budgeting/personal finance class)

First, the Dish Granted series was started when gold leaf burgers were novel, now it's seen as tone deaf (for obvious reasons) it should have shifted to something like interviews with people who make that kind of food or local businesses (like parmesan cheese shops in Parma, Italy) or the history of food (like talking about the history of modern Native American slavery on Californian wine vinyards). Not to mention the untapped potential of Food Fraud topics. Either shift it, or scrap it. Any data analyst or chronically online person could tell you that.

Second, why did you keep "anyone can afford $6 a month" in? Are the editors asleep at the wheel? Are they overworked? What is going on? You know damn well to not make generalizations about what people can afford. That's NEVER a good idea, especially when you KNOW (because YT gives you analytics) that most of your viewers are young (16/18-30/35 range, I'd guess) who probably, either 1, are still in school and either arent paid well/dont have jobs OR 2, arent paid well and tired of people's shit, like people who own businesses talking about "tough financial decisions." To them, Watcher isn't going to look different from the other people talking like that, because this was so sudden, with no input from fans, and in the video you hear shit like "anyone can afford [X]." To be frank, it wouldn't really matter what the amount is, because that generalization goes against the message they have stood by for years. THAT is a slap in the face.

Third, what are yall doing with the budgeting? Every artist has a right to make art that they are proud of. Every artist deserves to have their work seen if they so choose. Every artist deserves to make a living. HOWEVER, there are MANY options online when it comes to making money, especially on YT. You could get into marketing, data analysis, expanding your demographic, looking at what people are interested in right now VS what will stand the test of time (not gold leaf burgers), etc.

You have to either have these skills, develop these skills, or hire someone to do it for you. It's understandable that you would want a team behind the production, but I find +25 employees to be WAY too many people, especially in LA. Bailey Sarian has a Dark History section on her YT (and Spotify podcast) where she has hired historians to help make sure her episodes are as accurate as possible. You've caught heat before from Puppet History's missing & incorrect info, you should do the same. She has about three (3) "intermissions" per episode for ad breaks. I never see anyone complain. People WOULD listen to yall talk for that long (+1 hour videos), tbh, though that's not necessary.

Why are yall out here with Teslas, expensive food, new gear, scripts (where there weren't scripts before, PH is different, that makes sense), and "better than TV" level sets??? I need to put your accountant in this week's church prayer list what the actual hell??? Ya'll, this video is literally the meme:

Guys help me budget:

LA Rent: 2K per month

Videos: 100K per vid

+25 Employees: God only knows

New stuff for videos: Don't get me started

Like, are you serious?

You have a right to do whatever you want with your art. You have a right to charge whatever you'd like for that art. You have a right to make a living from your art and you have a right to ask your fans for money.

Your fans have a right to be angry when they've been supporting yall for, what, almost 10 years? They have a right to choose when and where to spend their money even when you've made an impact. They have a right to feel betrayed, especially when there are better options (like Nebula or consulting with Theorist Media).

Fans DO NOT have a right to be racist to any members of Watcher, now that they have made a decision they do not agree with.

I personally, think this is a really silly decision and could have been solved (haha solved) with a simple YT poll, but apparently we had to get... this. I respect their decision, I just don't think it was a smart one. I wish them the best, and I hope they find a better solution. Any further comment from me will depend on what steps they take next.

#watcher #shane madej #ryan bergara

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hobiebrownismygod · 5 months

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Let's talk about Desi representation again!!

I don't talk about this stuff often but when I do, I have some strong ass opinions

and yes I'm gonna be talking about none other than Pavitr Prabhakar at the end cuz he's just special to me <3

Hollywood is lagging behind on Desi representation

You'd think one of the biggest film industries in the world would be able to represent us properly, considering the fact that we make up the largest group of South-Asian Americans and the second largest group of Asian-Americans in the US, but instead-

Western Television forces Indians to conform to harmful stereotypes

Some of the most popular Desi characters on screen are Raj Koothrappali from the Big Bang Theory, Devi Vishwakumar from Never Have I Ever and Kelly Kapoor from the Office.

Indian men are almost always portrayed as robotics engineers and computer whizzes, but with terrible social intellect, making them seem like awkward nerds.

Indian women are almost always portrayed as "whitewashed", or wanting to appear more western, with zero understanding of their own culture or language along with an unrelenting need for attention from white friends/colleagues.

These are both based on stereotypes that Indian culture is "toxic" and "too traditional" and that Indians are only interested in studies.

Most Desi characters in western media have stories that are solely based around their ethnicity and/or racial stereotypes.

British television actually showcases a lot more representation than Hollywood does

I was watching Polite Society, a movie starring two Pakistani characters as the main leads, and there was a dance scene where both the leads are wearing traditional desi attire. My mom turned over, looked at me, and asked, "Is this Hollywood? It can't be."

And she was right. It's a British movie with British-Pakistani actors.

The reason she didn't believe that it could've been Hollywood was because the dresses the two leads were wearing were traditional and beautiful and the song playing in the background was authentic Hindi music, not some random westernized DJ version of it.

A Hollywood movie would've never dressed up their Desi actors in actually flattering attire (*cough cough the Patel twins from Harry Potter) or have used real, popular Desi music in the background.

You see my point?

It is so uncommon to see well-thought-out Desi representation in TV nowadays, where to see real diversity we have to watch movies made by the same country that colonized us.

Ironic.

British movies/shows with desi leads have far better South Asian representation than anything I've seen in Hollywood recently.

The Hollywood movies starring Indian leads, like Slumdog Millionaire or Bend it like Beckham were filmed in the UK, and because they were filmed in the UK, they had fantastic South Asian representation.

Not only does Hollywood refuse to create shows and movies about real problems that South Asians face, but they also don't cast South Asian actors in good roles.

When's the last time you saw a South Asian actor playing a character that wasn't a walking stereotype? When's the last time you saw a South Asian actor playing a character that was a genuine part of the story rather than just comedic relief or a random smart kid in the classroom?

Not often, right?

Me, personally, I didn't grow up with a lot of South Asian characters or actors in shows/movies that I watched. In fact, every time someone even close to my skin color showed up on TV, I was on the edge of my seat because it was just so rare to see it.

This is why representation matters.

You've heard about all the young girls with braids being so excited when the new little mermaid with Halle Bailey came out. Well, us desi kids wanted that too.

I wanted to see a Telugu speaking girl with wavy hair and dark skin who would wear traditional clothing to Desi get-togethers and parties, go to the temple with her family, eat vegetarian Indian meals, etc...

I wanted to see a character who was a representation of me and my experiences as an Indian-American. I wanted to see a character that was at least a representation of Indians or just South Asians in general.

Instead, we were given characters that ridiculed their own culture, were extreme stereotypes and furthered the existence of casual racism in western society today. So many Desi kids experience small acts of racism on a daily basis because people have been so desensitized to the existence of these stereotypes.

Telling South Asians that their culture is a joke and feeding non-asian children media which pokes fun at other cultures is harmful, not only to us South Asians but also communities that could end up being targeted next.

Pavitr Prabhakar; Representation Matters

If you've been following me or if we're mutuals, you probably know I have a tiny obsession with Pavitr Prabhakar. But why?

Because of all the reasons I just listed.

There are few South Asian characters us Desis can look up to these days, and Pavitr Prabhakar is one of the maybe two or three characters who have great writing, magnificent representation, and overall a fun vibe.

He's likable, funny, smart and best of all, unapologetically Desi.

He's just like all the other side characters, with a little bit of his own culture mixed in. He's not being shoved down our throats to further an agenda about fake diversity, he's not a walking stereotype and best of all, he was designed by Indian creators.

He's refreshing and exciting to follow in a world full of a demand for half-hearted representations and the people who created him were obviously putting their hearts and souls into it.

He's awoken a love for Indian culture amongst, not only Desi children themselves but also among westerners who, prior to this, had thought of India as a "3rd world" country, because that's the agenda that Hollywood pushes onto many South Asian countries today.

WE LOVE PAVITR PRABHAKAR!!

This was kinda all over the place but I just had to get this off my chest <3

Sources:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/06/10/discrimination-against-indian-americans-happens-more-than-you-might-think/

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