Daisy and Jon are best friends, to me

(original under the cut)

Prompt:

Bruce is Jason’s biological father.

He finds out about it during the autopsy after Ethiopia.

Just watched Brokeback Mountain for the first time and I need to talk about it.

Throughout the movie, we see Ennis experience a lot of intense discomfort and fear at the idea of being intimate with a man, despite it becoming abundantly clear in the details and based on his actions that that is indeed what he wants. He even admits to Jack that this fear stems from an experience he had at a young age, when his father showed him two men who were presumed to be lovers (they were roommates vibes), murdered and castrated, with him basically using it as a lesson to show Ennis that being gay was wrong and would get you killed.

Jack on the other hand was a little less discomforted or fearful at the idea of being with a man, in that we actually saw him return the following summer to Brokeback Mountain hoping Ennis would be there, only for him to show up alone. We saw how after this he confidently approached a man at the bar hoping to get to know him, only to get rejected and risk getting hate crimed (foreshadowing 😭). And we saw how, over time, Jack’s struggle had more to do with being hurt over Ennis’ unwillingness to commit or even just consider the possibility of them being together long term, even despite the risk of being gay in the 60’s.

Near the end of the film, upon Jack’s death, Ennis discovers from his father that over the past 20 years since they met at Brokeback Mountain, Jack constantly brought it up to his folks, how Ennis, his friend, was going to move up to their ranch and they were going to build a cabin and live together and take over for the family.

Jack was often the one in the moment taking the chances for them to be together. He was the one who mentioned that they could go to Mexico, with Ennis furiously rejecting it saying ‘you know what happens to people like you there??’

But what’s even more painful, is that in this same scene, Ennis’ acknowledges the truth more directly, and why it’s so painful is because it ends up ironically coming true:

Here, Ennis is basically saying that if he decides to be with Jack for real, aka faces his queerness head on, that’s going to be the thing that gets them (Jack) killed. Shortly after this, Jack loses it and has that infamous ass monologue, followed by Ennis breaking down over how it’s Jack’s fault that he’s this way in the first place.

In the end, when Jack dies, Ennis finds out about what happened from Jack’s wife, Lureen Newsome, who said Jack was pumping up a flat out on a backroad when his tire blew up, with the rim of the tire slamming his face, breaking his nose and jaw, and knocking him unconscious on his back. By the time someone drove by on the deserted backroad, he had drowned in his own blood.

The audience might’ve believed this story, if it wasn’t for how rehearsed it sounded coming out of Lureen’s mouth, but it also doesn’t help that images of Jack being hate crimed as his true cause of death are flashing across Ennis’s mind in real time while Lureen is telling him about the ‘accident’.

While it’s left up to interpretation, it’s implied from what his wife and father said, that Jack was hate-crimed by his father in law, with it being covered up.

Broken nose? Broken jaw?… Those are the kinds of wounds someone endures after being beaten up. And if it’s happening to the point of death, then he was essentially beaten to death.

This then fits into what Jack’s father said, because apparently, shortly before he died, he’d told his father he’d found a different friend that was going to come up there to the ranch with him. And so it’s very likely Lureen’s father caught wind of this as his plans to leave neared, leading to his murder (Jack also bitched his father in law tf out in an epic way, which on its own felt unnecessary in the moment, but within the context of this makes a whole lot more sense).

Either way, it seems Jack waited for Ennis to change his mind. 20 years he waited, and when Ennis didn’t, Jack finally moved on with someone else who made an offer of his own years before, only to get murdered just as Ennis feared he would if he decided to live his life authentically.

Ennis initially found out like this, in a postcard that bounced of him inquiring Jack about seeing each other again after that last massive fall out where they had, only for Ennis’s worst fear to be realized:

Nov 7th with deceased stamped across it has me spiraling 😭

Now, obviously Brokeback Mountain is one of the most well known queer films of all time, like there’s no denying that. So it’s fairly easy to assume ST could be taking some inspiration from this film just like they have with hundreds upon hundreds of other films. But especially if they are planning to go the queer route, homage to this film is pretty much guaranteed (there’s also one more reason it might be guaranteed, but I’m saving that for the end 🤣).

Regardless, as you can probably already tell, it’s very easy to see similarities between Ennis with Mike and Jack with Will.

Mike getting the ‘you see Michael? You see what happens?’ treatment from his father, in the first episode in the series, is very Ennis coded in that this is a TV show that follows that up with seasons of Mike pushing Will away from him, with it leading to a boiling point where he says, ‘What did you think? Really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement in play games for the rest of our lives?’ with Will responding, ‘Yeah. I guess I did. I really did,’ aka extremely Jack coded.

The really epic thing about this though, is that ST is clearly going on a different journey than Brokeback Mountain did, in that it’s simply subverting the bury your gays trope. While they are acknowledging the risk of being queer in the 80’s, they’re not letting it end ‘realistically’ like many people have insisted it must because that is the only option. And this will be a satisfying ending because it’s coming as a response to all those heartbreaking stories before it that have reinforced this idea that happy endings just aren’t an option for gay people who simply want to be together.

While Ennis and Jack didnt get their happy ending like they wanted, Mike and Will on the other hand 😏

And last but not least, on a more hilariously ironic note, the guy who Jack was going to settle for in the end instead of Ennis, was a guy named Randall Malone, played by none other than David fucking Harbour.

Y'all ever look back and realize your least fav character in your fav show was actually the one most painfully similar to who you were when you first watched it

So Vash does wave Meryl goodbye with a smile since he knows full well what he's soon going to find himself in, he might not have known the exact details that entailed, he still knew that he was likely was not going to get out of it unscathed at the very least but I also think that he does this because he notices Roberto's gotten injured by the time he makes it into the elevator with Meryl.

He might not have been able to see the nail sticking out or the blood that will soon seep into his shirt but he could have seen him clutching onto the side of his torso which already isn't a good sign since that's where a couple major organs are located, and knowing that he and Meryl had just run from a barrage of nails Elendira generated out of thin air right as he and Wolfwood got there, he could have put two and two together and figured out that Roberto hadn't managed to make it out unharmed like Meryl did.

He could have thought that they would be able to get it treated at a nearest hospital in the city in time, but he also could have thought that they wouldn't be able to get it treated in time or at all with the size of Elendira's nails and just where one of them had gotten lodged in

and that's part of the reason why his smile looked so forced in this scene because by the time he got to Meryl and Roberto it was already too late Roberto was going to die soon from blood loss and Meryl was going to be devastated when she finally turned around and found out. @tristampparty

the darkest of nights, in truth, still dazzles.

a halsin fanmix  [listen]

01. Heart of Spring - david arkenstone | 02. Cé Hé Mise Le Ulaingt? / The Two Trees - loreena mckennit | 03. Pussywillows, Cat-tails - gordon lightfoot | 04. Maybe Tomorrow - f&m | 05. Don't Stop Me Now - queen | 06. I Was Born Under a Wand'rin' Star  - bryn terfel  | 07. A Tenuous Bond - derek duke | 08. Closer - nine inch nails | 09.  Into the Darkness - jeremy soule  | 10.  Colorblind - counting crows | 11. Natural Light - ludovico einaudi | 12. Under the Greenwood Tree - royal shakespeare company | 13. The Grove - bear mccreary | 14. Blood Upon the Snow - hozier & bear mccreary | 15. A Quiet Darkness - houses | 16. Spellplague - alderfall | 17. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - jonathan antoine | 18. Only Everyone Can Judge Me - crywank | 19. Blue Skies - kathryn calder | 20. The Buzzard - old blind dogs | 21. Constant Craving - k.d. lang | 22. The Cave - mumford and sons | 23. Jim Cain - bill callahan | 24. I Won't Back Down - johnny cash | 25. The Ash Grove - laura wright | 26. The Wind - yusuf/cat stevens | 27. To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe) - hozier | 28. The Logical Song - supertramp | 29. Tapestry - don mclean | 30. Big Yellow Taxi - joni mitchell | 31. Eat Your Young (Bekon's Choral Version) - hozier | 32. The Flock - david maxxim micic | 33. Changes - david bowie | 34. Ri Na Cruinne - clanaad | 35. The Moments of Happiness - ken page | 36. My Back Pages - the byrds | 37. If This Journey - tom hanford | 38. Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There is a Season) - Live - pete seeger

man especially having now read the flashbacks i think about how hard xie lian always tries and how many people have told him that he tries too hard, that he never should have bothered and that doing so made things worse, or even more commonly just hating on him for not fixing things or being arrogant or whatever they think his problem is. and some of those people are probably even coming from caring places!

but before hua cheng, had anyone ever sat next to him and said, you tried and that's good, it matters that you cared, you did your best. nobody could have done better than you.

how badly must xie lian have needed that?

Yo imagine instead of being small because Airachnid is vaguely a lady by human standards, what if she was built like a daddy longlegs spider and dwarfed bots after unfolding her copter blades?

They hate to see a girlboss winning 😞😔

Come take... this... hand... at twi... light’s... door... I’ll meet...  you... there We’ll share the moonlit floor through the driving rain –

people with outdoor cats be like: yes my cat came back home half dead, caught hiv, is full of parasites and sometimes has gone missing for weeks but i don't care bc at least the cat is free and not locked inside like selfish people do!!!

Oh we're really deep in it now.......

i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness

my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me

i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3

rivalshipping is about healing to me but like in a “well-meaning yet still ill-advised codependency” way

oouh just had a sad tangchung thought..what if during the war tang bo used ripped up strips of his beizi as tourniquets and bandages for chung myungs wounds and after tang bo died, chung myung would keep those blood soaked strips of green cloth tucked close to his heart whenever he went out to fight as one last whimper of good luck..

Quick question time - is Wanderer going to hear the rumors of the "devil in the basement" ? Especially if she's always intertwined with the Constantines? Unless Johanna is like "nope, you literally always bring trouble to my family so fuck off".

I think you may be my favorite blog on this hell site now.

Both Hob and Johanna are in the next chapter. Do with that what you may 👁

Saw your tags on that post about swamp milkweed about having trouble getting it started--you may already know this, but milkweed seeds need light to germinate! They only need a light dusting of soil on top of them (and putting them somewhere with a lot of light helps!); if you can't see the seed through the soil, it's buried a little too deep. They basically want to be laying flat on the surface of the soil rather than poked down into it, with just enough soil on top to help them retain moisture. Yes this does make it kind of annoying to manage moisture because you don't really want them drying out either (sorry 😭) but I hope this helps!! I mention it because this is the most common issue I see with people trying to grow milkweeds from seed. They also want 4 weeks of cold stratification (cool temperatures like in a fridge while also being in contact with moist soil; you can plant your seeds, pop the whole pot in a ziplock/cover it with cling wrap, and just refrigerate it for a few weeks) so don't forget to do that!

You know

it's really funny

because i like to call myself the self-proclaimed milkweed queen of tumblr (at least on my gardening blog but still)

And yet

I

constantly fucking forget about the light thing

IDK if that'll fix all my problems (the soil at my house is pretty sandy so I think that's the problem when it comes to transplanting at least) but regarding getting those little shits to germinate??? that might be the ticket

(one of the other problems I face sometimes is the seeds deciding to mold when they're in the fridge cold stratifying, i lost a good chunk of seeds to that last year but i don't see any signs of it happening yet this year so fingers crossed everyone)