I’m 1/3 of the way through American Psycho and I’m diagnosing Patrick with autism
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question: do ppl ACTUALLY say things they don’t mean when they’re angry? or is that just an excuse after letting something true slip? i wouldn’t ever say something i don’t mean in anger, so the concept confuses me.
but something was said to me that is bothering me, though apparently was said in an argument and wasn’t meant. but i don’t rlly believe it wasn’t like, deep down true thoughts/feelings??? anyone have any insight? anyone say things they don’t mean in anger?
EDIT: this was a hastily worded post that i didn’t expect to get notes. this is a genuine question asked in good faith that i got a lot of amazing answers to!
also re: the many ppl saying “OP is lying about not saying things they don’t mean in anger because everyone does it”— i genuinely have never done that. if i say something mean while angry, i meant it. that’s literally why i asked this question and why the concept confuses me, because i wouldn’t do something like that so i wanted perspective from people who do it. idk why y’all can’t believe that lmao not everyone is as prone to anger and outbursts
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
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Actually just curious :]
SYNESTHESIA is characterized as a 'cross wiring' of senses in your brain
for example
tasting words
Numbers and letters having personalities
and having a consistent link between colors and numbers/letters etc. This can be fully visual (seeing aura simmialr to migrains when hearing noises) or internal (imagining bright colors or shape/ number associations to things in your 'minds eye')
Diffrent days of the week having a strong color connection
Alternatively days of the week and calender months having a specific mental layout or 'shape' and days of the week and month having a specific place om this mental map that shifts depending on where you are in time, simmilar to a clock or time table
I'm also curious on how this effects you so you can leave that in the reblogs if your comfortable!
For me personally my synesthesia effects my writing because I'll often mix up letters and numbers ( I write down 4 alot instead of G and vice versa, I also mix up 4 and 7 because they 'look' the same, I'm wondering if this is some sort of dyscalculia though, the same thing happens with A and 8)
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autistic friends how do you Not hate yourself for not being able to socialise normally. like I'm miserable right now and it's because I can't socialise normally, don't see how/if I'll ever find someone to marry and can't see the point in trying to befriend people because I always fail every time and simply annoy people; even my friends have got tired of having me hang around All The Time because i just Can't Socialise
not just autistic folks but I know this is very much related to autism for me
any advice or encouragemnet or prayers or what have you, appreciated
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I love giving advice, apparently, so if you are a newly pierced person or are planning on being pierced, here are some of the things I found helpful, as somebody who isn't a professional piercer but has had six plus piercings on my face and body, and multiple ear piercings (which I don't count, since I DIY'd them):
Normal bath towels are your enemy, proceed with caution after bathing. NEVER wipe moisture away from a fresh piercing, always pat it dry
You will hit a new piercing and it will hurt. This is inevitable, just know that you likely haven't destroyed it. Feel free to cry, though, it hurts like hell.
If your piercer gives you instructions, heed them. If you're on restrictions, please take it as seriously as possible
When you're going in for a piercing, please eat or drink something - at least what constitutes as a snack for your body. It really helps
If you're getting an oral piercing, make sure you size down after the healing period - I hadn't sized down for my last oral piercing when I first had the chance, and it was... so annoying to have too-large of jewelry
Not all jewelry is made equally. Do your research on materials, threading, and sizing. I've found that titanium jewelry is really nice for me, and I like it, but that isn't the only option. Make sure you think about your body and its needs and preferences
Close your eyes while being pierced (I found this really helps me)
Don't over-clean a new piercing, twice per day is usually a good place to start
The completed healing period is a very average suggestion - you may heal slower or faster. Try to adhere to that suggestion, though, especially if you do not feel you're healed enough
Personally, I have found that I am completely healed when my piercing feels like just another part of my body, even when it is touched. When my piercings start to feel as though they are foreign when they never do before, I know I likely need to clean them
While I have DIY'd piercings, I personally do not recommend it, especially if you are either not using sterilized equipment, or are piercing a very dangerous place (like the tongue). If you are absolutely positive about committing to the DIY mindset, please try to do due diligence in research at least
Tip your piercer. Body mods are a luxury service, and it takes years to even become a piercer, much less to be proficient at it. Tip your piercer, ESPECIALLY if their prices feel too good to be true - they likely are. Unless you are directed otherwise by your piercer, just assume that you will be tipping them for their services and budget accordingly
Make sure you understand how your piercer wants you to take care of your piercing, and ask questions. There is no question too "dumb"
If you are getting a body part pierced you are insecure about, realize your piercer has most likely seen HUNDREDS of different body parts of various sizes, shapes, and oddities. Your body is not uniquely bad, nor would a good piercer make you feel unwelcome or uncomfortable with your body. If they do, however, DO NOT go through with the piercing. You should feel safe being pierced by somebody, and, indeed, that is the bare minimum.
If you use saline wash to clean piercings, you can DIY it. You will go through NeilMed like no other, and with it being $5USD a bottle, that price can rack up quickly. Make sure you use distilled water and non-iodized salt, though
If your piercing is infected, please don't be too ashamed to seek help. It's in your best interest to make sure you don't get ill or your site gets nasty ("nasty" as in painful)
These are just some of the things I've learned being a pierced person! My piercings are something I absolutely needed, and I do not for a minute regret having them. I want that same happiness to befall you, and that happens when you are able to understand a bit more what goes into piercings. You are, essentially, getting a new body part installed by a pro, and so I don't want you to not be ready for that.
Again, I am not a professional piercer, but am rather a body piercing enthusiast with many different types of piercings. I don't have every piercing, though, so please look at this critically for the piercing(s) that you want or have. At least, treat this like a soft suggestion or ways to help you brainstorm what you will find helpful.
More tips are obviously welcomed, especially if you yourself have more insight or expertise. Good luck to every pierced person or future pierced person reading this💛
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Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn
Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished
And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue
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Every once in a while I am reminded that the Myers-Briggs personality types test exists and all I can really say is that my result when I take it is quite literally just autism
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People acting like Tommy Talerico was the 1st dude HBomberGuy ever took down haven't seen my favourite HBG video which is the Autism one where he takes down Andrew Wakefield, aka the father of the anti-vax movement
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christian knows jack is autistic but never let him get diagnosed because 1. he's ableist and 2. autistic people aren't allowed to to enter any medical field. yes, you read that right. yes, still to this day
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My least favorite plotline that shows up in like every single piece of media at least once is the "surprise birthday party". Literally cant stand it. I hate surprise parties so fuckin much. Even worse when the surprise is for a "i dont like surprises/parties" character OR they go with the "everyone pretends to have forgotten their birthday" plotline like i HATE it so so so much makes me feel like a rabid dog i wanna rip it apart with my teeth
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Sometimes I find posts from parents who are on the face of it supportive of their autistic children almost as offputting as the classic 'Woe is me, my child has autism and will never make eye-contact which is the only form of signalling love' autism-mom posts.
Stuff like : What I learned from my autistic kid's stimming and how I applied it to grow my business!
or : my autistic child told me insert-behaviour-here made them uncomfortable! (And like the saint I am I deigned to believe them. Eventually.)
or: watch this heartwarming video of my (sweet angelic, normal) neurotypical kids playing with their autistic sibling (as if he's a Normal Child!)
or: watch this heartwarming video of an exhausted mcdonald's employee indulging my autistic child's questions (no I didn't leave a tip)
and I'm just here like, you may be better than parents who make their entire identity about the suffering having an autistic kid causes them, but you are still, fundamentally, making your kid's autism diagnosis all about you.
Also you're still using your kid as a living prop for clicks, which sucks ass no matter who's doing it.
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Also just because you get annoyed by something someone is doing doesn't mean they are evil you can leave us alone
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just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3
Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.
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Every time I make a post with the word autism in it I’m sure to come in for some hate. I know how to block but damn some people are sure shitty.
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oh! oh! i know how to do edit the save files! okay so first go into the saves folder, just called "saves", and scroll until you see a folder titled "Fallen". there'll be a bunch of files in it, ignore most of them except the one called "clan_cats"- this is where the cats are held! you can do a bunch of things here but most of them aren't relevant to getting lee into the clan- do CTRL + F to do a search function (if that doesnt work youre on a different type of computer than i am and i have no clue. sorry! D:), then just type in Lee.
there you'll see Lee, he'll have a bunch of words and stuff IGNORE THAT and change a couple things for him to join the clan:
"status": "loner" to "status": "warrior" (or elder, whichever you want, just keep it in the commas). this part is near the top, just like 5 lines down
line directly below status is "backstory"- i dont actually know what his backstory would be listed as but it doesnt matter bc you're changing it to "loner1" (keep it in the commas)
scroll like ALL the way down until you see the next character section, that'll be visible by the }, } bit- then look like 5 lines above that until you see "outside": true, set that to false instead (no commas for this bit)
and that should be it! if it doesnt work or you need more clarification D: sorry D: but hopefully its fine and then WHAM. lee has joined the clan (it wont have an event blurb about him joining btw) (it thinks he's been part of the clan like forever) (but thats fine probs) !!! - ����
PS: 5 bird facts please >:D
oh shit it worked. well. i guess Lee is joining the clan now
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