3 of our 4 system hosts have their own side blogs now :-) @eviltamagotchi mostly posts plushies and cute stuff, @letmebeyoursword is our guard dog protector who also posts a lot of dog art, and maybe just read the pinned post on @dogfreakfairy if you’re interested I can’t think of a quick way to summarise his vibe ^^’

|Jin & Chocolate|M|

Pairing: Jin X Reader (Ft. A LIL Hoseok at the end)

About-You suck Jin off…and brownie batter may or may not be somewhat involved because why the fuck not. Oh, Hoseok comes over to drop off weed…and welll….doesn't exactly leave

Or- His assistants birthday is tomorrow and she’s insisted on him making his infamous “Dizzy Brownies” AKA…pot brownies and Jin being the perfectionist he is, scrapes the first batch. You however, think they’re fine and if he’s not gonna bake with said  batter you’ll find use for some of it…..Then Hosoek stops by to bring the missing ingredient…weed and his dick…

Warnings: Food play, Oral (M receiving), light face fucking, come swallowing, Dirty talk,hair pulling,pet names, light over stimulation, finger sucking, implied Voyeurism-ish (Jin planning to watch Hoseok fuck you on the couch ) MINOR degradation kink (He calls her a cock slut like…once)Light MXM…(just neck kisses and dirty talk but you’ve still been warned…)

No…idk why I wrote this but I’m not exactly mad about it either…

WC: 5.5k

Note: This is a stand alone one shot within my BTS Poly AU “7Deep” short summary: Your husband Namjoon and yourself run a successful Adult Film Entertainment Company called “Onyx” with your 5 best friends from college who you also happen to be in an open relationship with!

~~~~~~

“Alright, Yn to the resc-“ Everything, every.Damn. Thing, you were gonna say...straight up dies on your tongue once you take in the site in front of you. AKA Jin, standing in front of his boujee over-sized island, hair wet glasses perched on the nose. Matching silk pajamas yet the shirt’s open and the bottoms are sitting so damn low against his hips you almost thought he wasn’t even wearing any! Oh, and of course he wasn’t wearing underwear, why would he?!

Fucker.

Brow arched, in slight curiosity, a low hum ringing in the back of his throat, offensively oblivious as to why Yn.exe has stopped working. Still completely focused on the task at hand, reaching into the drawer to grab a fresh spoon to test the batter one last time. Not even offering a verbal response however the slight snarl that slipped off his lips said it all.

Jin clearly wasn’t impressed…hints why your here to begin with.

You still hadn’t moved though, leaning slightly against the back wall….Yet that doesn't stop him from making grabby hands at the grocery bags upon seeing them in your hands. Which of course prompts you to like….attempt to function again!

“I know we make porn and shit…” You pause a somewhat dramatic sigh leaving your lips as you drop the bags onto the counter and sway in his direction. “But what in the actual porn hub is this?! You got a little side hustle I need to know about? Is this for some kinky onlyfans cooking account???”

Honestly, it took Jin a minute to put two and two together, until his gaze followed yours. Ripping a loud cackle from his throat, ya know the one rivaling a windshield wipper. A slight smirk tugs on those sinfully thick lips of his as he reaches up to grip the back of your neck.

“Hi, pretty” Hushed against your lips as he pulled you into a kiss which did one of two things; confirmed there wasn’t shit wrong with these brownies and two...your still so whipped for this man it’s unreal.

Jin smiles into the kiss once he notices how you just completely melt against his lips, hands roaming up his stomach, lightly clawing over his skin which is still warm to the touch from his shower. Jin’s kisses are hard, always..even without him opening his mouth against yours he still manages to have you sucking in a deep breath through your nose to even keep up. He slips his hand into your back pocket and squeezes,his touch is light yet...possessive... you can feel Jin’s nails digging into the swell of your ass even through your jeans,

“Thank you, Instacart was like a two damn hour wait and I did not have time for that bullshit…” Forehead pressed against yours and he nuzzled your nose…”Plus, your way sexier than anybody they would have sent anyway...”  A wolfish grin playing on his lips as his thumb flicks at your bottom lip which you licked teasingly.

Jin being the little shit that he is pressed his thumb in even deeper, gaze dropping as he watches you suck the digit between your overly glossed lips. Triggering his to curl into a slight smirk as he slowly freed himself, dragging it down your bottom lip and over your chin...before he pulled away from you. Sliding his other hand free slowly, making sure his fingers trickle up your spine in the process. A stated hum ringing in the back of his chest before diving into the bag head first, or...that was the plan initially...

Until you turn away and Jin catches the way your hips sway in his peripheral and suddenly it’s like “Fuck these groceries” because well Seokjin’s a weak, weak man when it comes to you . So he gives your ass another playful squeeze stopping you from going too far.

Blunt nails dig into the swell of your ass yanking you back to place an open mouthed kiss at the hinge of your jaw. Until hes nosing up four face, kissing you open and breathless, sucking your tongue back into his mouth and fuck if your knees don’t buckle...

He chuckles light, pleased...“Love you princess”

God, he just makes you light headed every damn time...a low moan slipping from your lips before you lean back in searching for his lips again. The two of you get lost within seconds, completely immersed within each other, with his hands roaming all over your body. Yours tangled in his hair holding him in place, as you rock back into him, you can feel how hard he’s getting, how wet and needy your getting….

That is, until the self timer for the oven goes off reminding you why you're here to begin with! You pout and he smiles, placing a faint kiss along the tip of your nose before pulling away from you…

“Love you too old man…” You muse playfully while reluctantly turning away walking over to the fridge.

‘Call me old one more damn time and see if you ever get this dick again”

“Sounds like an excuse to me..” Eyes narrowing in his direction challengly “What? Can’t handle all of your baby’s anymore Jinnie? Worried you can’t get it up the way you use t-” Taking a painfully firm grip on your wrist, bringing it down to let you feel that he’s no longer starting to get hard hes rock fucking hard. Brow arched as if to say “And you were sayinggggggg???”

You nodded somewhat bashfully, I mean to be honest there was shit you could say at this point, clearing your throat “Alright well..points have been made…” Turning away before you could see the shit eating grin on his face. Only to be stopped by a strong hand on your jaw….

“And don’t ever come at me like that, I’ll be 50, and still handle all of your bratty asses with ease….just because I don’t need to be called daddy like Joon…” Leaning in even closer until he lips are ghosting over yours as he speaks “Doesn't mean I'm not very much aware as to who I am. I don’t need the title to hold the position princess….don’t get it twisted..” He holds your gaze, tilting his chin upwards as if he’s going to kiss you, eyes glued to your lips. But, in true Jin fashion the minute you lean in, he pulls away..looking far to calm and collected for your liking!

I think it’s safe to say...the entire building heard your knees buckle at that...the way you were suddenly squeezing your thighs together! Jin didn't even acknowledge it either, the fact that you were literally stuck. He just went back about his business… simply picking through groceries...

Welcoming yourself to the chilled bottle of Circo, and pouring yourself a glass before perching yourself on top of his counter. A fond smile playing on your lips as you observed him analyzing every little ingredient, as if you hadn’t done this before, as if you weren’t painfully aware of how anal he was. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes however that still didn't wipe the smile off your face.

“Baby knows what she's doing…” You muse playfully around your glass as you take a sip.

Cocking his head to the side, his smile mirroring yours, as he slides closer, leaning in for another lingering kiss. “Always has...” Stealing your glass, and instantly regretting it, clearly, he was a little too distracted to realize you weren't chasing your liquor.

“God” Shaking his head as if to say he’s disappointed “You’re a fucked up individual...” Face scrunched in pain as the vodka burns its way down his throat, a string of curses rolls off his tongue before he continues with his initial task. “You need prayer..”

“Listen, nobody asked you to-” Your phone buzzed in your purse and Jin’s followed, so he knew it had to be work-related, not even bothering to take  a look he knows you'll fill him in. Glancing down to see a calendar invite from your left and right hand aka Taehyung.

“It’s Tae, we're closing early tomorrow by the way…” Eyes slowly drifting to a string of emails that already had your blood boiling so you opted to slide your phone right back into your Chanel. “Kellie wants to go to lunch at The Cheesecake Factory, so we’re taking a late lunch'' More like you wanted to allow your staff to drink and do as they please after so you opted to just scrape the end of the day.

Jin didn't even bother to respond, honestly, he probably wasn’t even listening. All he cared about right now was fixing these damn gourmet layered pot brownies for Kellie!

Jin was not one of those buy a box of Betty Crocker type guys...he was a go find me this random-ass authentic CoCo from Mexico, along with the purest sugar cane and a damn olive tree while you’re at it! Though, no matter how anal he was about baking, or cooking in general you always loved watching him work, he’s always loved it! Even when you guys were broke he’d find a way to spice up the simplest thing and make it look gourmet quality! You’ve asked him numerous times if he’d wanna venture into the restaurant business Namjoon and yourself have even offered to act as the “Bank” so to speak. But apparently it’s just something he does for fun, something that relaxes him, not something he'd wanna do as a career no matter how much he loves it.

“I don’t even know what actually happened honestly…” A deep sigh leaves his chest as he strategically places the remaining ingredients on the counter “It’s too runny this time around and the CoCo is too potient….”You can hear the frustration within his voice at this point.

“Jin” Pausing to massage his scalp which he leans into instantly “I’m sure it’s actually more than fine, honestly your probably just be-” Before you could even finish your thought, two fingers being shoved between your lips..knuckle deep. Correction, two fingers coated in brownie batter...batter that was fucking delicious by the way…

Which we already knew but we also know we can’t tell Jin shit soooo....

Eyes completely wide initially, until the flavor coats your tongue and you actually moaned around his fingers..not even for dramatics just because it was good. Jin’s watching you intently, almost as if he really didn't intend for this to become sexual but now that it has...he ain’t mad about it.So...you relax your jaw, swirling your tongue around his fingers suggestively same way you would if it was his cock and you feel him hum, a slight twitch playing on his lips.

“I take it you don’t believe I need to remake the batch then?” Bow quicked teasingly as he slowly slides his fingers from your mouth…

“Nope” The words leave your lips with a pop as you recline back a little, bracing your weight on your forearms. You shamelessly let your eyes roam down his body, licking your lips as a oh so innocent idea slips into your mind.

‘Actually…” Swirling your finger in the batter, flicking at his bottom lip, ya know he had the nerve to smile at you before his tongue rolled out of his mouth? Curling it around the pad of your index finger, and your breath hitches in the back of your throat at how meticulously his tongue movement is. Sliding the digit deeper into his mouth, gaze hark and heavy, “I- I think I need to taste it again before I can give you an accurate review, maybe…” Sliding your finger free, trickling it down his chest and over his nipple, coaxing a low groan from his throat. “ Taste it from a different surface.” You physically see Jin’s dick twitch a that, it’s actually forming a tent beneath the silk of his pajama bottoms.

“Mmm yeah? Well…” Jin scoots as close to you as he can get, wrapping your legs around his waist in the process. His gaze is fuckin dangerous, peering down at you from beneath his Celine’s, heat pooling in the pit of your stomach within seconds!

“..Considering it was going to just go in the trash anyway…” He dips his finger into the batter one more time, only to smear it over your bottom lip before leaning in...slowly swiping his tongue over the surface before sucking it into his mouth with a moan that starts on his tongue and ends on yours.  “Why don’t you get yourself another taste then…” He murmurs low, and breathy against your lips, the strong smell of chocolate fling your nose, nothing subtle about the way your eyes drop to watch the way his tongue swipes along his lips.

At that point you just grip his jaw and kiss him, hot and messy, leaving nothing up for speculation at this point, Fuck Kellies brownies!

He leans forward bracing both of his arms on either side of your frame, sighing into the kiss as content as can be. Tilting your head to deepen it, as you drag your fingers through his slightly damp locks. Your lips are both sweet and sticky which makes them melt together even easier,Jin’s tongue moves inside your mouth with such ease! I mean fuck,  it’s been almost 8 years now so I guess you shouldn’t be surprised. He works your mouth open wider so his tongue can get deeper, the sweet slow glide, hot and heady, the faint leftover taste of chocolate has your toes curling against the sole of your heels.

“You’re so fuckin hard” You whine around his tongue and he smiles around yours, reaching between him to palm at his own length.

“Mmmhmm..” Breath hitching in his throat once he tightens his grip around his tip. “For you….” Jins eyes fluttering open, mouth falling ajar into a silent moan as your palm meets his….guiding his movement.

“I really wanna suck you off…” Slurs against his lips, swatting his hand away completely, wrapping your hand around the base and squeezing. The silk from his pants was far too delicate to really create any type of barrier. Ripping a deep moan from his throat as you stroke him. Jin’s physically throbbing in your palm as we speak, and as if on instinct you feel yourself clamp down around absolutely fucking nothing. But there’s no denying that your body’s reacting simultaneously to his...even if he’s not physically inside you...yet.

“I thought, you wanted more chocolate?” Jin smiles against your lips before dragging them down your jaw, over your throat, licking a trail towards your shoulders. A string of breathy moans leave your tongue the harder he starts to suck against your skin, you can feel his eyes on you too. He has you feeling like your body’s burning from the inside out! Jin’s always been one for eye contact, as if he doesn't wanna miss a single second of how you react to him, gaze dark and hooded. Those big brown eyes of his completely blown out...looking like he’s ready to fucking ruin you and you can’t find it in yourself to even considering looking away.

‘Fuck” Whispers off your lips as he bites into your neck “I do, fuck I do, let me down!” swatting at his shoulders aimlessly until he does what you say and within seconds you have him pushed against the glass refrigerator.

An amused smile tugging on his lips as he takes in how blatantly fucked out you already look. Adding fuel to the flame Jin actually slides his own hand into his pants, thumbing over the head as he strokes himself at an agonizingly slow pace. Eyes trained on yours the entire time though they’re barely open. You watch his muscles contract every time he adjusts his grip, and as much as you wanna join in you can’t find it in you to move!

“Babyyyy” Hisses off his lips like he’s begging and demanding all at the same damn time! Within seconds you're caging his body against the doors, tilting your chin up to capture his lips again. The taste of chocolate is still strong along his tongue, as he kisses you full and messy. You pull his hand away and if the growl that rolled off his tongue was any indication to his he felt about it….

There's not much room between the fridge and the island so the bowl is at arm's length, not to mention he was making enough browns to feed 20+ people so it’s not like the bowls microscopic. Without breaking the kiss you manage to reach back, swiping your fingers through the batter. You feel every muscle in his stomach tense beneath the pads of your fingers as you paint a languid trail all the way to his waist.

“Oh” Jin asks a mischievous grin moving up his face as he snakes his hand around, a strong hands pulls you even closer. God, so fuckin solid, chest firm and defined...letting his other hand grip your hair right at the roots. Tugging it back until your moaning into his mouth “That how you wanna play?” Lips ghosting along the hinge of your jaw..blowing against your skin slightly until you shivered.

You grin up at him, eyes heavy….”Depends...you gonna let me play the way I want?” Tongue toying with the corner of your mouth as you await his response which he doesn't even verbally give. Just simply raising his brow which shouldn’t be as fucking sexy as it was, reaching behind you, moving the bowl to the counter to his right so you don't have to reach around to grab it.

Keeping his eyes trained on your as he slides his shirt off his body, letting it fall where it may, pulling his pants down mid-thigh, cock thick, long, and slightly curved as it bounced against his stomach. Precome just oozing off the tip and down his shaft….which looked painfully hard the tip a dark shade of pink...

“You can play with me however you want princess”  Reaching up to nuzzle his fingers into your scalp again, this grip isn’t as aggressive as the last...a little more..intimate. You can feel his thumb padding against your scalp, fuck he’s always so calm..collected. I don’t know why but whenever the two of you have sex solo  it’s like this...it’s always a reminder than he is in fact the eldest...and back in your college days the most experienced. Though he wasn’t. one to brag about his skills he was just one to show up, show out and leave…

There’s a low chuckle that rings in the back of his throat and it trails right down your spine...

“You just fuckin ache for it don’t you? Those pretty lips of yours miss having my cock in your mouth?” Rolling his hips into yours with a moan “It’s not just about me is it? You love this don’t you princess?” You nod dumbly, god why is he so damn distracting your suppose to be in control, fuck! “I’m all yours, right here for you to do whatever you want…”

Regardless of how hard your shaking you find it in you to actually attempt to function. Swiping your fingers back into the bowl you extend your trail, starting at his neck, over his collarbones...down his chest….then connecting the lines to his sternum.

Ducking down to trace over the trail with your tongue and lips, alternating between kissing, licking, sucking your way down his body. Jin’s moaning out low and breathy, the grip on your hair tightens, eyes flickering up to admire the wet trail your leaving behind in the process. To be honest your far too impatient to draw this out the way you’d really like so before Jin even has time to process what's happening you drop to your knees.

‘Fuck” Groans from his chest, abdomen tightening from the site of you on your knees alone, back positioned in the perfect arch as you lean forward. Eyes trained on yours as you lay your tongue flat against his stomach. You don't even move either, lashes fluttering up at him far too innocently and Jin just smiles at you, already aware as to what you're “asking” for!

“Mmm, you got me all messy princess…” Grabbing the back of your head to guide you as you lick and kiss the rest of the way down. “Good girl, baby, fuck “ Jin’s voice gets a little higher, the more you roll your tongue against his skin. Sucking an array of bruises, along the way, as if to accentuate the point that he is in fact “yours”! Gazing up at him like you want to absolutely wreck him because well...you do. And well he told you, you could do whatever you want soooooo.

However once you get to his cock you stop, and just stare up at him again, eyes wide, and almost innocent, which has Jin all the way fucked up right now and you notice...lashes fluttering up in his direction.

“What do you want princess?” Jin brushes back your hair, as you nuzzle your nose into his inner thigh, nipping slightly until he’s slouching into the fridge for support. Head lolling back as you cup his balls, lifting them so you can kiss each before sucking one into your mouth. It’s clear you're not going near his dick until he puts you there but to be honest he’s not complaining! Your tongue takes long slow strokes, up, down, around, before sucking each back into your mouth. It's obscenely loud, and messy, lips and chin coated in spit. Sending shudders coursing through his entire body, fuck he’s so damn hard.

“Baby…” He breathes out almost in awe, as he guides your head upwards, leaning over and dipping two fingers back into the bowl “I think you forgot about your chocolate...Open, your mouth for me, pretty…”

You do because of course you do “Tongue out” Letting it roll past your lips in a way that has him smirking at you as he places the digits along or tongue ‘Suck” Dragging the pads of his fingers along your tongue, as you moan out around them…Purposely hitting the back of your throat making you gag slightly. ”O...pen…” The words rolled off his tongue painfully slow, almost as slow as he drug his fingers away...

Dipping his fingers in the bowl one last time, painting a trail from base to tip, sighing out at the initial contact from how sensitive he’s getting. Smearing his precum around in the process before sliding his fingers back into your mouth to lick off the excess. “There...now I think we've handled your first craving, why don't you wrap those pretty little lips around my cock so we can do something about the other” It wasn’t really a question, he did not phrase it as a question…

So, you let his fingers slide free, leaning forward to wrap your lips around his tip. Eyes open and focused on the beautiful man above you...you take a deep breath, relax your throat, and take him all the way home. Not stopping until your lips are hoovering as close as you can get to the base of his cock, nose flush against his groin and Jin about screams. He was not at all ready for that.

“Goddammit Y/n!” He almost sounds aggravated, jaw tight, nostrils flared as he yanks your head back so only the tips in your mouth, and the way your suctioning your lips around his tip has him hissing through clenched teeth.

“Stop, I wanna take it.....I can take it, let me have what I want…” God your pouting and whining and he feels as though he could come right now! Jin reaches down and cradles your jaw, making you lean into the contact. Jin has always been a little...gentler  with you unless you ask, I mean he calls you princess for a reason, and don’t get me wrong it’s not like I’m saying he keeps things sweet and vanilla! It’s just you have to tell him to go hard or he won’t just do it…he’ll make you want to get your throat fucked but won’t unless you ask. He’s the type to fuck you slow and deep with his hand around your neck while you make love but also whisper the nastiest things in your ear that you could make you come alone.

“Fuck” He sighs defeated, instinctively wanting to buck up into your mouth “I know you can, and if you want me to hold you down and make you take it then…” You feel his hand shift and his grip tighten...guiding you back down… “Relax your throat for me princess…” Your eyes meet him directly as you do, and he guides you down his shaft slowly..he can hear you sniffle in a breath through your nose and he keeps pushing until he hits the back of your throat only this time he's prepared for it.

Jin gasps eyes slightly unfocused , jaw tense “That’s it baby fuck…god you look soo good right now..” His chest is tight but he's still not stopping, not until your throat is completely full and your lips meet skin. Once he’s finally fully logded in your throat you both gasp...Jin's eyes hit the back of his head, which he slams against the fridge in the process…

“Oh my god babyyyyy” He whines and he pulls your head back but you keep your lips tight and pert the entire way up. Hissing at the steady stimulation, however once you reach the tip and start to make your way back down again with such fineness he knows your ready to take more.

Jin is a little hesitant initially when he starts lifting his hips, sliding into your mouth. Your eyes flutter close as you take in a deep slow breath through your nose, humming out as he starts to pick up his pace.

“Oh fuck yesss…” Hand tightening in your hair, Jin can feel the shift now, feel the moment his cock pushes its way through your throat, warm, tight...but relaxed. Its clear it’s not your first rodeo...you gag a little but your not straining...it’s not a “job” for you…you want this and that turns him on to no end. The way your moaning around his cock as you bob your head up and down has his length twitching along your tongue!

You can tell he’s still going a little slow, probably because he doesn't wanna hurt you! So,you lean up on your knees a little, and decide to take what you want, digging your nails into his thighs starting to push back against him. He tries to stop you from moving so you dig your nails into him even deeper, eyes fluttering open only to roll them to the back of your head more times that either of you can count and he can’t help but choke out a moan around a stifled laugh!  

“Okay, pretty, okay…I got you...I’ll give you what you want” You can feel his legs shake biting his bottom lip, as he starts to roll his hips deeper, harder, finding a smooth steady rhythm. One where his cock smacks the back of your throat every damn time just how you like it! “Shit” He breathes out in a shaky breath almost as if he's amazed at how good your doing…

“Fuck, such a good mouth baby, fuckin made to have your jaw fucked open…”

You look down right sinful, back arched, lips glossy with spit and precum and just fuck, fuck!

“Your not gonna last” You muse playfully as you pull back with an obnoxiously obscene noise, lips twitching into a smirk as Jin damn near growls!

“Fuck yo-“

“I’m not complaining….” leaning forward to place an array of open mouthed kisses along his shaft until he’s hissing through his teeth. “...Buttt...your so fuckin hard already baby I can feel you twitching beneath my-“

“Put, your mouth back on my cock before I fuck your damn jaw wide open!” He’s panting way to hard for it to be demanding though Jin’s not your stereotypical dom anyway...his tones never truly demeaning yet...you know he’s not asking....Gripping your hair even tighter, yanking your head actually.  You lean up for a minute, sucking one of his balls into your mouth almost teasingly and Jin slouches into the door…

“Please, fuck I’ve been begging for” Your whining purposely lips and tongue leaving a messy spit covered trail behind. An exaggerated moan vibrating against his skin

“Your getting yourself all messy baby” Cutting you off as if you weren’t even speaking! Whipping your chin as he yanked your head back, guiding you back where he wants you, since you wanna fuck around!  “Your mouth must not be full enough yet” Tongue trailing along his bottom lip and with that, he’s fully lodgeding his cock back into your throat making you gag in the process.

“Yeah, yeah that sounds a lot better, look sooo fuckin good with your mouth full” Leaning over to squeeze your ass, hissing through clenched teeth as his hips grow quicker , stronger, bolder, and your taking it like a damn champ too!

Heats spread throughout every inch of Jin’s body, his chest is flushed and he looks so damn good, there's sweat gathering along his temples, the hand holding your hair is actually twitching. He pulls your hair even tighter this time making you moan and gag slightly. Before he even bothers to apologize he watches your eyes flutter up to meet him and even with a mount full of cock he knows that's a smirk on your lips.

“Your pussys just fucking soaked isint it? My baby’s just throbbing, every time I…” Suddenly he’s slowing your pace down, it;s almost..sensual now, how slowly hes rocking you gains his cock “You can feel this can’t you? Everytime…” Guiding your head up and down repeatedly only this time it’s slower,your strides are longer and the way he’s looking at you right now….fuck!

“Everytime my cock hits the back of your throat, your pussy gets so fuckin tight,and wet, you just love getting your throat fucked don't you, pretty?” You make a gargled sound that Jin knows is a “yes” and he smiles..lazy stated and blissed the fuck out… “Love a nice, big , hard cock, down your throat….Mmm,my pretty little cock slut yeah?”

You don't even try to respond, you just inhale sharply and start bobbing your head even harder encouraging him to give you what you want and he does. He fucking dose…he’s done holding back, so he grabs your hair as tight as possible, so much so not only dose your scalp burn but your entire body burns! He starts fucking into your throat, hard and fast...he knows how much you love this...he knows your fucking use to it ...his princess knows how to handle him...with ease…

“Your fuckin amazing baby, your taking me so good, so fucking deep...fuckkkkk”

Jin can’t help himself, from grunting , moaning, whining, swearing in both English and Korean! Which was without a doubt one of the sexiest things ever because his voice always got deeper. He’s so close..your taking him so well too.

“I’m fuckin close pretty...so fuckin close” He chokes out around a whine mid thrust, eyes heavy..bottom lip edged between his teeth...and you suck even harder..eyes fluttering up at him.

He keeps fucking into your mouth, deep and smooth, brining his hips flush to your face every time....

‘Fuckkk, your gonna swallow for me baby? Take it all like the good little sl-” Your hand suddenly comes up to squeeze his balls and he’s fucing done it catches him off guard too! Fingers spazzing in your hair, as your throat closes around him. He whines as his hips kick forward into your mouth, you press hard into his thigh keeping him in place. Swallowtail around him and Jin practically cokes on his own tongue. You don’t pull of right away either, moaning low, the slight vibrations making him hiss from over stimulation..

Jin came hard down your throat, the perfect mix of salty, sweet...the light hint of chocolate still lingering on your tongue….His knees almost buckle but he catches himself. Leaning forward, bracing both arms against the marble island, eyes still closed as you watch his muscles contract painfully hard and you can’t help but smile around him as his length starts to go soft along your tongue.

“Fuck” His voice breaks before he can even finish and yeah, yeah your proud, tipping forward on the balls of his feet, glasses almost slipping off his nose in the process!

You humm out, contently sending little bolts through his body, making him moan, and twitch above you yet he doesn't pry your lips away. Hands gently massaging his sides as those big brown eyes flutter open to meet you, heavy, glazed, unfocused...gently he pulls your lips away from his cock, and braces his arms on your sides lifting you off the ground with such ease no matter how spent he is and instantly your legs wrap around his waist.

Lips swollen, cheeks and chin slightly wet as he leans his forehead against yours…Panting out hard against your mouth, you can feel how erratic his heart is hammering against your own.

“So what do you think?” He whispers, a tired smirk playing on his lips “Still don’t think I need to remake it?”

You can’t even help but cackle, god you love this man, and you knew your voice is fucked so you just lean in, and he closes he gap instantly. Kissing you deep, slow, loving, tasting himself all over your tongue, kissing you until your huffing out a pained breath through your nose because you feel as though you can’t even breathe. Tugging impatiently at the hem of your tank top, and next thing you know your squeezing your legs around his waist and raising your hands so he can slide it off. This, always this..the skin on skin, how warm he feels….essentially chest to chest minus the thin lace from your bra, but it feels good..feels like home. Gently running his hands all over the planes of your back, ghosting his nails against your skin making sure to leave a trail of goosebumps behind in the process.

Your warm and almost pliant under his palm, moaning out contently as he continues kissing you, like he has all the time in the world like he doesn't have a shit ton of brownies to make. Which, I guess in theory is very minute in comparison to what’s going on right now but as we’ve established Jin is very anal! Sliding his hand up to grab your ass and you whimper slightly so he does it again, harder this time….

Your so caught up by the languid slide of Jin’s tongue that you haven't even realized your moving….clearly headed towards his bedroom as he walks the two of you out of the kitchen!

Pressing tour back against the brick beam in the center of his living room, leaning down to place a wet open mouthed kiss on the side column of your neck. “What do you want me to do you?” He breathes into your skin low and husky nipping at the vein rearing and you can't help but exhale a shaky breath, clawing your nails up his back until he's the one moaning against your skin.

“Whatever the fuck you want-” Just, as Jin’s about to turn the corner he hears his front door unlock…..

“Sorry, my zoom meeting ran long, I swear I’m going to kill that new British investor…” Hoseok comes in like a bat straight out of hell as per usual, far too caught up in a million things to initially realize what he’s walked in on!

“... Then Don wasn't answering, and it was getting late. so I just ended up going to the dispo, and I-” Eyes fluttering over to finally met yours and it’s spine chilling how quickly his gaze darkens! Honestly, you weren’t even aware he was supposed to be coming over to be honest, but fuck yeah 2Seok FTW! A shit eating grin plastered on his face that quickly turns into a toe curling smirk as he licks his lips and kicks his shoes off. Placing the bag from the discrepancy and his jacket on the couch before studying forward. God he looks like such a fuckboy right now but your live for it because he fits the aesthetic without the toxic traits. Perfectly tanned skin, a backwards snapback, vneck, skin tight jeans with an offensive amount of rips in them and chunky Gucci sneakers…  

“Fuck, and here my dumb ass was thinking when you said you were bringing Jin groceries...you actually meant something he could literally eat…” Hoseok’s eyes meet Jin’s briefly and there's something you can’t quite catch lingering within his gaze! “What the fuck did I miss?” Purrs off his tongue,as he tangles his fingers in your hair, yanking your head back, completely missing the way his eyes lock with Jin as he leans in kissing you! It’s hard, wet, and messy,but he’s not lacking skill that's for damn sure. Instantly groaning against your tongue once he gets a taste of what you’ve really been doing, you can’t help; but sigh as you tilt your neck back, allowing him to deepen the kiss. While he kisses you he holds tight onto Jin’ s waist, eyes fluttering back open briefly as he digs his nails into his sides!

“Such a fuckin tease” Husks off the elders lips though your far to consumed to even notice. Leaning forward sinking his teeth right into Hoseok pressure point. Not letting up until his knees damn near buckle yet he doesn't pull away. He just kisses you harder, and digs his nails even deeper into Jin’s skin…with a deep groan.

“Baby…”Jin breathes against his neck, painting his tongue up the side in the process, both of you hum as you don;t know who he’s referring too, and he smiles against Hosoek’s skin “Seok…”

Well that answers that “I want you….” Kissing his way over to Hoseok’s ear, tugging the tinny gold hoop between his teeth “...to lay princess on the couch... and fuck her until she can’t even see straight…” It should actually be illegal now nonchalant this man just said that!

You both moan at that, pulling away just enough to breath, forehead flush against his...your eyes mirror his, stupidly fucked out and needy as he leans forward and sucks your bottom lip into your mouth…

‘Think you can do that for me?” Jin still hasn't stopped pressing open mouth kisses to Hosoek’s neck who's completely consumed by how needy you sound…The way your clearly grinding against Jin for stimulation right now because your so turned on.

A smirk playing on those heart shaped lips of his… ”That what you want baby? You wanna put on a little show with me? What me to fuck you while Jin watches...fuck you so good that he can’t even focus…”Not even bothering to phrase it as a question because he aleady knew what you wanted!

Tongue teasing at your bottom lip “Untill, all he can hear is you begging me to stop because you can’t take it anymore?” Hoseok is basically moaning all this into your mouth, as his hands shift beneath you, Jin passes you off like you weigh negative two pounds…and you instantly lace your arms around his neck.

‘Fuck, please” You exhale shakily lips flush against Hosoek’s neck as you feel Jin press himself behind you so your sandwiched in..you watch Jin snake his hand up Hoseoks back, gripping him by the nape of the neck forcing him to make eye contact.

“Think you can be good for her while I finish this?” Eyes flickering to the kitchen though his tone is clearly taunting, so is he smirk playing on the elders lips…it’s now blatantly obvious you’ve missed something. There’s tension between the pair, nothing serious ...but there’s tension ...

“Of course, I know I can be more than just good hyung” There's clearly so much condensation dripping off that honorific it’s unreal…for one...they barley even use honorifics to begin with so clearly something was up....slyly letting his fingers ghost up Jin’s stomach, before clawing his way down.

Jin cocks his head to the side raising a brow, the grip he holds on the younger hair tightens “I will fucking rui-“

“Seokkkk, Jin!!!” You whine impatiently nipping at his neck...whatever his is...you cold careless blue clit is a thing...a very real one for you right now!

“Alright, New rules” 

Lordt!

“Hoseok’s gonna make you come as many times as you want….” Leaning in to kiss the impatient pout off your lips before turning his attention to Hoseok “ And you…” Yanking his head back a little “Don't get to come until we say Soo…”

“We?” The quirk in his bow accompanied by the crass in his tone proved he was far from amused..Yoongi would be proud...

“Mmmhmm, you said you were putting on a show right?” Walking past the two of you to grab his Tripod out the closet and you already know what that means…

Little secret...back in your college days Hosoek and yourself dabbled in a few cam sites together for extra money...So your far from shy when it comes to putting on a little show in front of a camera...especially in front of your boys....

THAT’S ALLLL SHE WROTE... FOR NOW...SHOW THIS SOME LOVE IF YOU ENJOYED/COME YELL AT ME!

Also dose anybody want me to continue this? I did not expect it to end like his but I ain’t mad about it. Also wtf do you think Hoseok did to Jin?

MASTERLIST for this AU linked below..also as I noted in the sneak peek this is not Jin’s “intro” chapter that’s why outside of the fact that he’s always loved to cook I didn’t tell you much about his “character”. However I have finally mapped out both his and Hoseok’s and I will add those summaries to the mastrlist soon...

7 DEEP

Part 1: Just Another Day in Crackhead Paradise (ateez beachy au)

Genre: Crack, humor, fluff, a lil spicy spice, mostly crack

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: just cussing and a lil spice (not much at all really)

Also the reader is gender neutral :)

Brought to you by Admin Venus and Admin Mars (yes the same admins from the main blog, we’re all keeping the same admin names) with some help from Admin Sun :) hope you enjoy or at least laugh a lil

-ok so

-your friend Yerin invites you to a weekend with some of her friends at a beach house

-can you guess who those friends are?

-wow y/n you're so smart

-it’s ateez

-so basically

-you and Yerin arrive at the beach house (more like mansion) in the morning and you’re more nervous than you’d like to admit

- “so how many people are going to be here?” you ask for the hundredth time while staring at the beach house (mansion) in amazement

- “um, about fifteen including you and i” Yerin answers with a bright smile, hooking her arm through yours to drag you up to the front door

-she rings the doorbell impatiently, bouncing slightly as the two of you notice a figure moving toward the door

-a tall guy with blonde hair opens the door, giving Yerin a warm smile before pulling her into a hug and exchanging pleasantries

-Yerin gestures to you and you bring yourself back to the conversation in time to introduce yourself politely, shaking his outstretched hand

-you learn his name is Yunho and you’re hoping that if you repeat his name enough in your head, then you’ll be able to memorize it before you meet the next person

-unfortunately, that’s not how it goes and you end up meeting the entire group at the same time because they were all gathered in the living room waiting for everyone to arrive to choose rooms

-and you two just so happened to be the last to arrive, perfect luck

-Yerin introduces you to everyone in a long line of faces and names that you don’t quite catch, though you recognize a few

-but when you reach the end you lock eyes with a smiling boy with dark hair

-your heart beats a little faster in your chest and you force yourself to smile so you don’t seem weird or impolite

-he introduces himself as Wooyoung and you make a mental note to prioritize his name in your memory

-so after meeting the guys, gals, and non-binary pals

-Yunho offers the idea to spend the day at the beach behind the house

-for the next couple of hours, everyone is having a grand-ol’ time

-you’re still kind of shy since you’ve only just met most of these people so you opt to observe more than take part in the crackheadery that these individuals are partaking in

-the girl in the yellow bathing suit (you think her name is Anna) jogs up to you and asks if you can take a group pic for her

-you, being the nice person you are, smile sweetly and take the camera from her, watching quietly as everyone squeezes together to fit in the frame

-anna jumps on her boyfriend Jongho’s back and throws up a peace sign while everyone else poses and smiles as you begin to take a variety of different pictures of them in different poses

-this wasn’t the first time you felt slightly left out, unfortunately

-when everyone starts to play chicken, partnering up quickly and teasing one another, you watched enviously, wishing for a second that you hadn’t accepted Yerin’s invitation

-speaking of Yerin, your disappointment doesn’t last for long as you watch your friend climb on the shoulders of the boy she’s been talking about lately, you’re pretty sure his name is Yeosang

-they’re up against Anna and Jongho and unfortunately, you know your friend is about to take a swim in the ocean because those two are no match for the younger couple

-you haven't known the other couple for long, but you can tell these two are unbeatable

-your prediction comes true as you watch Anna give Yerin a strong shove, successfully pushing her off the boy’s shoulders, sending them both falling into the water

-your eyebrows raise at the sight of the victorious couple, vowing not to mess with either of them (because that was quite the yeet if you do say so yourself)

-your amusement luckily continues into the next activity as a handful of people from the group decides to start a game of tag on the beach

-at first you were impressed at how serious everyone was taking the game and how fast they were managing to run on sand, like that’s a hard thing to do my guy

-but you are also incredibly scared that someone was going to eat shit and you might witness a hospital visit today, so you are covering your eyes every time you think it is going to happen

-and then it does, but not quite in a way you are expecting

-Yeosang reaches out to tag Yerin, but as he’s reaching his hand out to tap her, he manages to trip on the sand and fall forward, catching the back of her bikini top in the process

-your eyes widen as you watch the incident unfold

-as Yerin trips and falls onto the sand with her hands expertly holding her top to her body for dear life, Yeosang lands on top of her

-all while this is unfolding Jongho, manages to sneak away and grab the camera to record the fall for his and Anna’s youtube channel

-everyone is silent for a couple of seconds as they try to process what just happened

-then, laughter and wheezes fill the air as Yeosang scrambles off of Yerin while she tries to retie her top with one hand

-after that whole ordeal, everyone agrees that they should take a break and settle down into the sand

-a little while later, Anna again asks you again to take their pictures, but reassures you that if you’d rather relax, that's fine too

-and once again, being the sweet soul you are, you accept and begin taking pictures of yerin, anna, and another girl named sun-hee

-the three girls pose seductively as you snap each flattering angle, making sure they look good for Anna’s instagram

-the small voice in the back of your head keeps nagging

- “why are you hanging out with these people? Your looks literally cannot compare like at all. They’re all so gorgeous and you’re just...you”

-little do you know, a boy by the name of jung wooyoung has been noticing your small facial expressions and downcast looks

-after a day at the beach with your new friends, everyone heads back to shower and regroup for nightly festivities

-since everyone is tired from a day of running around doing stupid shit and having fun, it was a collective idea to relax and eat good food (with a little side of booze)

-there were 8 bedrooms in the house

-so there were two people per room (except for Yunho. He was rooming alone cuz his girlfriend couldn't make it to the mini vacay rip)

-you were chilling in the living room waiting for yerin to finish showering

-while you were waiting

-Yeosang knocks on the door to the room, asking for a towel

-no answer

-he opens the door slowly and is faced with Yerin’s ass on full display as she bends down to pick up her shirt

-aksjdldllajdjf he’s so embarrassed and blushy and splutters out some incoherent words as Yerin turns around

- “don't act like you haven't been staring at my ass the entire day. You're not slick boi I see you”

-Yeosang doesn’t know what to say as Yerin approaches him

- “and what if I say that’s not true”

-Yerin narrows her eyes at him, a small smirk forming. “Then we’d both know you’re lying and you’d be missing out on an opportunity.”

- “an opportunity?”

- “so if I kissed you right now, would you say no?”

- “no” he replies almost instantly, his cheeks reddening at the lightning-fast answer

-the way her smirk widens at his answer makes something in him lose control and he grabs her waist, pulling her to his body

-the feeling of her skin against his only serves to heighten the mood, sending his common sense spiraling down the drain as his lips move against Yerin’s fervently

-trails of fire run across his skin where her fingers brush and her lips touch, sending a chill down his spine

-he hums against her lips as she pulls his hair, sucking on his tongue

-he pulls away after a few more moments, attaching his lips to her neck and leaves light kisses down the side until he reaches the base of her throat, stopping to suck a dark hickey into the skin

-he repeats this action a few more times along her neck before she pulls him away to leave her own set of hickies along his skin

-while this is happening, you make your way upstairs to the room, assuming that Yerin is done bc she hasn't come down in a while

- “hey Yerin are you do-”

-your voice gets cut off as your eyes take in yeosang sucking Yerins face off

- “kdjfglsdhdljalka im so sorry I’ll leave omo-”

-you dash out and end up knocking on Anna’s and Jongho’s door to use their shower instead lol

-once everyone has finished showering and freshening up, you all gather into the living room

-San and Hyejin and Anna and Jongho are coupled up on the love seats and the other seats are occupied… except for the one right next to Wooyoung

-you make your way to sit next to the boi, not seeing how he blushes and scoots a lil bit to make more room for you

- “long day?” he asks you as you lean into the back of the couch, its large cushions almost swallow you

- “yeah, im not used to hanging out with so many people”

-you internally cringe at how much of a loner you sound

- “me neither. Its usually just me and the guys but since Jongho and Anna and Hyejin and San are dating, it makes sense for us to all hang out together” Wooyoung says smiling

-your heart beats a lil bit faster at his attempt to make you feel better uwu so cute

- “so what do you guys wanna do?” Sun-hee asks the group, sitting on the arm rest near Hongjoong

- “maybe we can have a night in? Like relax, eat, drink, enjoy the sunset? y/n seems kinda tired so we should have a chill night”

-you blush at the sound of Wooyoung taking your tired state into consideration

-everyone seems to be kind of worn out so they all agree

- in the next couple of minutes, pairs are designated for each role: buying booze, cleaning up the deck, buying snacks, buying and setting up stuff for a bonfire, making a playlist, cleaning the living room and doing laundry, and setting up the bar

-just as Yerin is about to ask you to stay at the house to clean up, she sees Wooyoung standing behind you, making a neck slicing motion toward her, unbeknownst to you

- “i wanna partner with her1!11!” he mouths to Yerin

-she secretly puts her hands up to surrender while you look away, talking to Joonhee

- “actually, i might pair up with Yeosang. Why don’t you and Wooyoung go... get snacks or something”

-you turn back to Yerin, eyes wide

- “are you up for it?” Wooyoung comes to stand next to you

-you nod, scared your voice would betray you, not being able to function with him standing so close to you

- “alright people, let’s meet back here in 2 hours. Don't do stupid stuff or get arrested. Jongho, don’t let Anna let weird people into the house- don't give me that look young lady. No one knows what you may do. You literally strike conversations with strangers” Seonghwa gives the youngest a stern look

-and with that, the second part of the day is underway

HC: Open relationships are complicated when someone gets pregnant (OT3)

We like OT3 mostly because we can’t bear to just erase Nikita, also because Anna is smokin hot and we Get It. Even fic Geno would be so sad about it. We theorize a lot about THE PERFECT FIC where Sid and Geno’s relationship is always kind of wobbly and open because like We aren’t gay really so much as chronically monogamous and into each other and It would be career suicide to lock it down openly, and I’m so glad we’re on the same page.

(We fully acknowledge that it probably wouldn’t actually be career suicide now (...probably) but like back when they were little penguin babies before the days of You Can Play, it was; and those things are hard to unlearn or let go of)

So, anyway, Geno hangs out with Anna over the summers/they’ve been friends for a few years and when he goes back to Russia the open nebulous thing with Sid is really easy because they just have their separate lives and come back together in the season and everything is great.

Except Anna comes back with him to visit one fall and pregnancy just happens accidentally as it does (and did ...probably). There’s no real reason to panic, everyone is an adult with a (really well paying) job and time and money to spare. Most of all Anna and Geno sit down and both WANT that baby and that life together.

So Anna knows all about the on again off again relationship G has with Sid, because we firmly believe they are actually very good friends and have a healthy communicative relationship. So she definitely secretly thinks the two of them together are super hot.

Sid unfortunately does not speak Russian and doesn’t get 100% of this open communication so consequently gets all weird and irrationally jealous because Geno brings Anna to the states and sets her up in his house and goes to her doctors appointments, and talks about getting married because she needs a visa to stay in the states and being married makes hers a condition of his and it's ‘the right thing to do’, ‘babies parents should be married’ and he loves her he truly does etc etc.

But there is DEFINITELY some translation issues because Geno is probably too busy swinging wildly between OVERJOYED and TERRIFIED to explain (to both of them) that he fully expects Sid to co-parent with them.

Of course to make matters worse Anna is SUPER intimidated by Sid - he and Geno have so much history? And have this working relationship that she can never fully understand? - so her natural reaction to that is to act cool and collected and ABOVE IT ALL. In reality of course she's terrified.

She doesn't understand anything in this new backwards country and she can't even eat what she wants any more and Geno spends like 70% of his time with the most beautiful and talented and sweet man who shares his deep and unrivalled love for hockey so she is quietly freaking out.

Sid is freaking out quietly because Geno went and found everything that Sid Is Not and is now talking about putting a ring on it and he's like "Okay I guess I'm just yesterday's trash, that's cool, I always knew that, I guess my trophies will keep me warm." He probably gets VIGOROUSLY CANADIAN for a bit trying to comfort himself.

TL;DR: Everyone is quietly freaking out but acting like everything is Chill™.

Geno is the only one who is genuinely happy, if not puzzled. He keeps like trying to set up dinner dates and trying to getting the dating game going between them all and being confused about why Sid and Anna barely talk to each other when he's not in their immediate vicinity.

He knows that they'll end up best friends who gang up on him about everything. It’s so obviously to him that their personalities will be a good match and like they'll like each other and be scorching hot together ...and like throw a baby in there for them all to adore???

ENDLESS BLISS AHEAD the blinking exit ramp signs say, but for some reason he can't get anyone to take the exit with him.

It's only getting more complicated by the month, because Anna is getting like super visibly pregnant, and everyone knows she's staying with him indefinitely, and the word is spreading and pretty soon the media is going to catch on to what’s happening and by then keeping Sid on the same page is going to get slippery and awful.

He’s already just starting to get more and more intentionally distant, gracefully excusing himself and offering to babysit other teammates kids and having dinner at Mario's instead of with them and such. He's doing the Jon Snow Right Thing™ and manfully bowing out.

Leaving voicemails like : ...Sorry everything is really piling up. The season, eh? But you seem happy!! Keep it up, I’m so pleased for you, G!

Geno starting to really have had enough of it just like GET YOUR LUDICROUSLY PERFECT BUTT BACK HERE I WANNA SEE ANNA'S TEETH MARKS IN IT YESTERDAY.

Meanwhile Sid whenever even remotely cornered rambles like, I'll give you the best best-man speech, I promise, G. I'm really happy for you *FEELS HEART TEARING IN TWO WHILE SAYING IT*

Is silently pining Sid a thing for us? It is definitely a thing for us.

Anna gets on board with team OT3 with Geno first because she's the smart one obviously. Maybe Geno gets home drunk post-win one day and they’re on a couch with Geno’s head in her lap and he can hide his face in her belly and haltingly explain what he’s kind of been thinking. And once it starts making sense, some of the insecurities about Sid can start to dissolve. Also pregnancy has lowered her already fairly low threshold for dealing with Hockey-Player-flavoured Bullshit - she definitely knows she can only put up with Geno’s moods for so long, and him being so mopey about Sid is only making him even more annoying. She’s really starting to see the appeal of having another person she can tag off with, because Zhenya in a mood is a 6′4+ snappish thundercloud.

Anna: He's been dealing with your drama for a decade, Zhenya, we need him so my pregnant hormones don't force me to murder you. So, how are we gonna do this?

The only solution is basically one step short of tying Sid to a chair and forcibly explain the joys of polyamory to him. But like, you have to ease into things like that if you’re a normal person who wants a successful relationship (Anna). So she gets on board with them all mutually dating, and they start inviting Sid over to hang more. When Anna thaws Sid definitely starts to thaw as well, feeling like he’s welcome to hang out with them and Anna clearly knows he and Geno used to be a thing - they’re still familiar with each other all the time. Maybe a little more than Sid is strictly always comfortable with, with Anna watching them like that. But like, it seems like they want him around and he still does care a lot and Sid is a Good Friend™. So it continues like that for a few more months.

At some point Anna double checked with G like “...You did tell him he's supposed to be dating us right? It sometimes seems like he's trying to gently let you down?” and Geno replying indignantly with, “HE WOULD NEVER THINK THAT OF COURSE HE KNOWS US THREE ARE ENDGAME.” He somehow has completely lost the plot and didn't realize Sid didn't know he was part of the relationship at all.

We’re fairly certain it boils down to after the baby is born, Anna's like "I desperately need a bath and a nap and I don't trust either of you alone with my baby yet, so you must be together."

Sid: But I'm not-"

Geno: Hey is my baby too!

Anna just like SHUSHES them and hands them that lil teeny baby and then gives them both kisses and leaves.

Sid: I think your wife is actually losing it, she kissed both of us, not just you.

Geno would just turn to him with giant hands full of tiny baby, full of heartbroken confusion “You don't want to be WITH US ANY MORE????”

Then they devolve into whisper shouting to not disturb Anna/Nikita

Geno (paraphrased): OF COURSE SHE KISSED YOU. YOU ARE PART OF THIS FAMILY. YOU HELPED US MAKE THIS NURSERY SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU STILL HAVE A DRAWER OF CLOTHES, I WAS GONNA ASK YOU TO MOVE IN PERMANENTLY TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU TO BE WITH NIKITA MORE OFTEN.

So then Sid realizes he’s actually been completely enwrapped into their relationship for months. Like none of the other guys even think its weird any more that he and G ride to and from the rink together. He hasn’t seen the inside of his own house in weeks. Anna’s moans a fews weeks ago when he was rubbing her feet were pornographic and he wasn’t imagining it that she was disappointed when he pulled away (probably to hide a mild chub).

BONUS:

Also we kind of love the idea that G and Anna are low key high key worried that their beautiful baby boy isn't going to learn English right with just them around and struggle in American school, but also he’ll be American and struggle culturally in Russia. Like they are settled in Pittsburgh and have no immediate plans to leave, their kid is gonna go to kindergarten not speaking proper english and be bullied or something!

Which is ridiculous, but like the kind of absurd thing you think about when you have a squishy jelly bag that relies on you for everything and you are two individuals who cannot master grammar.

So they're like "If Sid isn't there, he's going to end up speaking English badly and STRUGGLE." which is unbearable to think about so they keep Sid around, they tease him, just for his English skills.

So, only a few days ago I finally finished my final year in college. What is an achievement for anyone, was a particularly big deal to me, as not only did I nearly quit countless times, but I barely even thought I’d be alive at this point.

I do feel that my college experience was especially tumultuous, but maybe I am just being self-centered with that mindset. However, the past few days and weeks I have found myself reflecting on the past four years, and to that I felt that the best way to process each individual year would be to write about it.

Before college even began, I experienced one of the most, if not the most, traumatic thing in my life which was watching dad die. Not something I will get into now, if ever, but it’s not something I wish on anyone to see.

That really had a major impact on me and especially on my mental health, which I am still trying to process, nearly four years later. It was a turning point in my life. And in the midst of that, I was finishing the Leaving Cert, waiting on results and desperately not wanting to go to college in September.

As the weeks flew by, I struggled to leave my house without having some sort of a breakdown or panic attack. It was a very dark point in my life, and I really struggled with coping.

From there, I began college, which was by far as easy task for anyone. But bare in mind, I was having panic attacks on a very regular basis, and held back tears for a lot of that first year. I was also incredibly shy, but in saying all that, I did enjoy making our terrible little productions and learning all these new skills.

To help me get by, I began taking anti-depressants, and was seeing my doctor on a regular enough basis. I went to a therapist, I was seeing a psychiatrist on occassion. All of this was to help me get back on my feet. Which to a point, I did, but if we’re being honest, I am still trying to this day to be 100% okay again.

First year of college, I was vulnerable. I was shy. And I was afraid. Even just to send a message in our groupchat was taxing for me. My heart would race and I’d start overthinking every character of the message.

When I think back to that first year, I see a lot of grey. I was unhappy. But I persevered.

My smiling angel.

Towards the end of the year, I somehow managed to convince my mam that we should get a dog. Both of us needed something to brighten our darkness, and I still thoroughly believe it was our greatest decision.

When Emmers entered our life, she was anxious and afraid too. She had a trauma and had gone through a lot in her past year, much like us. It was and still is an absolute treasure to me to see her develop from being so scared and nervous, to becoming this genuine ray of light who licks away the tears when I cry. Or who cuddles into me to cheer me up. Who just wants someone to look after her, play with her, and show her that there’s not just bad out in the world.

I’ll never forget that day that we naively walked into Dog’s Trust’s rehoming centre in Finglas, and didn’t realise that our lives were about to be changed for the better.

As well as as Emmers, I also managed to meet some people who changed my life around aswell. Namely, Amelia and Andrew. Some of the sweetest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and are still my amazingly close friends of this day. So just a lil thank you to them for being so kind and wonderful!

The second year without Dad turned out to be ever more challenging, as I’ve learnt that the first is when your trying to come to terms with what has happened, and the second is when you realise that they’re actually gone. On top of this, my aunt also died and we were pretty damn close. So that hit me very hard.

I hated every second of college. It was as though I had gone backwards ten steps. I was back to not coping at all. Panic attacks, breakdowns, they had all become so part of the routine that I even found my own little spot in the college to cry and be alone. It was the one place I felt I was able to collect my thoughts and breathe again.

That year was definitely the darkest in my life. I felt thoroughly alone. I was anxious, depressed and suicidal. I still don’t understand how I managed to finish college that year. I was ready to drop out so many times. Thankfully, I had an understanding lecturer who was there for me, listened to me and encouraged me to stay.

Of course, I had good days too. I was lucky enough to travel to Amsterdam with my friend, Grace, as well as Brussels with Mam. Grace is the most enjoyable company, its so easy to feel relaxed around her. And then for me and mam, I think we just really need these little breakaways to enjoy eachothers company without the stress or memories around home. Looking back, I think I just needed some excuse to get away from college.

But in saying all that, I do also think a lot of my ‘happiness’ at the time was more so masking than anything else. While first year was grey, second year was pure blackness.

Unfortunately, I ended up to the point where Pieta House was involved. But, they were nothing short of amazing. My therapist there was outstanding and patient and kind. I still have his words ring through my mind when I find myself struggling again. I will never be able to thank him enough for all that he did for me.

Cliffs of Moher

The summer before third year was pretty wild in all fairness. Some of my family came over from Spain, which is probably when I’m at my most content. We went around Ireland, showing them, Glendalough, the Cliff’s of Moher, Galway, Dublin, and everywhere in between.

This summer there was a crazy heatwave and so thankfully for them we were able to show them how beautiful Ireland can be when it’s not covered in rain.

Inbetween travelling the country with them, I was also working four jobs. The local cinema, a promotions company, an online travel company, and as a ghost writer. All of this was to ensure I had enough money to travel for a month across Europe, through Interrail.

Unfortunately, another death of a close family member occurred, but I was determined to not be set backwards again.

We left to go travelling on the 29th of July, and I returned one month later on the 29th of August. What an experience! By far, this was one of the highlights of the past four years. We started in Paris, then went to Amsterdam, Berlin, Prague, Karków, Budapest, Split, and afterwards, I flew to Barcelona to spend a week with the family. It was just amazing. Something I will never forget, and that’s for sure.

By the time I was back in Ireland, third year of college had just rolled around. Although I had struggled so much the year prior, after enough deliberating, I decided to take this new year by the horns and move to the college’s town.

This was a pretty major feat seeing as at least when I was struggling the year prior, I was always able to at least go home and see Emmers. This year however, I was jumping straight into this enviroment. It was scary, especially for me to have so much extra time alone with my thoughts. But ultimately, I feel like it was the right decision.

For the first while, I was even living right around the corner from Amelia, which was amazing! She was a great support system to have so closeby, and I still cherish the evenings spent drinking wine and playing with her beautiful dog until all hours.

On set with Neil and our new friend for our third year music video!

In regards to my own course, I really tried to socialise as much as possible. Third year really sealed my friendship with Neil, who is one of the kindest souls. He was, and still is, my closest friend.

As tough going as I found it, I really did try to socialise as best as I could. And looking back, I do think I did a decent enough job at it. No matter how much I was dying on the inside, I always pushed myself to be more outgoing and personable. I think, in a retrospect, I would have to say that I am quite proud of myself, for persevering.

It was also in third year that I managed to truly reconnect with my best friend from our school days, Caoimhe. That was a comforting experience to bring back the familiarity and ease of our relationship along with the inside jokes that stem back to being fourteen years old again in some class that we didn’t care about, just wanting to have a laugh.

Third year was definitely different the the other two years as I really just wanted to finally experience college and not struggle. And to do that I pretty much decided to ignore my problems, which is probably (definitely!) not healthy, but one way or another, it seemed to work. I even stopped taking my anti-depressants towards the end of the year.

[Sidenote: never do what I did and just stop taking them. I ended up with the world spinning and a constant nausea for weeks as I didn’t wean myself off them. And from what I’ve learnt, they were lucky side effects, apparently it can be a lot worse.]

By the end of third year, I finally felt more at peace. For the first time in a long while.

For the summer before forth year, I mainly worked, but also made sure to spend as much time with my friends as possible.

Of course, to keep things on theme, there was yet another death in the family, which, once again, hit me hard. This time it was my close uncle, who not only looked a lot like dad, but also died of a similar illness just the week before his anniversary. And as it was Spain, in the midst of summer, I wasn’t able to get a flight to say goodbye. That hurt.

Thankfully I was surrounded by wonderful friends. Andrew who came over and brought me flowers the day it happened, and just chilled and watched crap with me while I was sad. Then, Amelia, who went to the effort of getting me a plain balloon and marker and bringing out to somewhere quiet, to let me write one last message to my uncle. Bare in mind, it was even her birthday! I was blessed.

I’m not sure if it was his death or what, but very shortly after it was as though a switch was flicked in my brain and I developed chronic insomnia. What made it even weirder, was the fact that up to this point, I was an incredibly sleepy person, who could have literally slept anywhere, anytime.

This had a major impact on my mental health. Absolutely no sleep for days and weeks on end was rough. I was back to crying and not being able to cope. My doctor ended up prescibing me anti-depressants again, but I couldn’t bring myself to take them. I refused to need them.

I felt particularly bad for Amelia who I ended up going away with at the time. Although it was a wonderful holiday, the lack of sleep meant I was short on energy, and was also tossing and turning throughout the nights, more than likely keeping her up, although she would deny it.

Similarly, I went to Spain at the end of August, and definitely kept my poor cousin up every other night.

Even though I had a lovely end to third year, I found myself stressing about the return to final year. I had moved into a new flat, that I liked quite a bit, and decided to give it a go. My motivation was that if I really wasn’t happy, I would just leave college, once and for all.

While those thoughts were floating through my mind, my grandad also wound up quite sick, and it was pretty not good there for a while. He was eventually put into a home, with the anticipation that he would be made comfortable, and that not much else could be done for him.

Grandad & I around November

BUT my strong lol grandad, made such a recovery! He was put into the home around late September/ early October, and he is still going! He is currently better than ever, being super well looked after in an amazing nursing home.

Now, as far as a year in education goes, it was fairly disasterous. A lecturer that we were supposed to have for two modules was on maternity leave, and her replacement cancelled the first few lectures we were supposed to have, before finally quitting. We never even met her. It was as though this was an omen for what was to come. Every week, we would all hope for a full week, but, ultimately, we were always let down. The first three months ended up having more cancelled classes than actual classes.

By the time we ended up having the lecturer replaced, and finally full weeks of classes, it was just about Christmas.

We broke away for the New Year, with the anticipation of a much improved new semester awaiting us.

As for Christmas break, my friends from school and I decided we were in desperate need of a group holiday, and so we planned a trip to Edinburgh for a few days. This was the loveliest little holiday! Hot chocolate, great food and nearly all of us got a new peircing! (Which, is a blog in itself!).

Now, although this was a wonderful memory, Christmas just gone also meant my best friend moving away, which was heartbreaking.

The group of us organised a surprise meal and drinks for Amelia before she left. But its definitely strange not having her so close by anymore.

When we finally got around to going back to college, it went surprisingly well at first. No cancelled classes, assignments weren’t crazy. All was good.

Until, of course, Covid-19 turned into a pandemic and the world pretty much shut down. But, of course, we all know about that.

As I currently stand, I am surprisingly sad to have finished college, especially in such extraordinary circumstances. I’m also excited to begin this new, hopefully brighter, chapter in my life.

Forth year was most definitely a blink and you miss it kind of experience. It was memorable though. I finally felt as though I was content.

Over the past few years, I have made lasting friendships with spectacular people, however I’ve lost friends some along the way, some are probably for the best, but others I miss dearly.

It’s been quite a journey. As I said at the beginning, I shocked I’m even here. It’s been remarkable.

Memorable for sure.

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College Days So, only a few days ago I finally finished my final year in college. What is an achievement for anyone, was a particularly big deal to me, as not only did I nearly quit countless times, but I barely even thought I'd be alive at this point.

This is the longest dream of my life sorry

I got on a train idk where I was going but I was excited about it. I ended up making a friends with a couple other passengers bc there were only about 10 people on the train and they were all around my age. At one point I did something that upset one of them (I can’t remember what it was) and even though I apologized they were super mad. After a while of chilling with my new pals, one of their boyfriends comes up to me (his name was AXEL CAN U BELIEVE THAT) and he starts yelling at me and swinging fists. My friends were shocked and just stood around for a lil bit before intervening. Bc of that incident half of the passengers were in a different area from me and my friends, except for the gf of axel but I understood her reasoning. The train stopped right outside of a town, not at a station, and hysteria took over the minds of the passengers as they were convinced BY THAT DOUCHEBAG AXEL that there was a virus loose in the city that turns people into insects. My first reaction was to play along with it for a bit, but soon realized that it needs to stop before it gets out of control. But, Being someone that has ‘wronged two members of the group,’ no one believed me that it was bullshit. Everyone grabbed weapons, mostly old pipes and broomsticks, and created little hideout rooms on the train to sleep in. I just stayed in a seating area with a pipe below one of the seats in case one of the others tried to attack me. Axel and his lady, having shown testosterone filled angry dominance and control over the situation, took a full room and built a full size bed inside. They had little lights strung up the walls and it actually looked pretty cool. The other /less important/ passengers built their bunks similarly to mine except most had overhead protection made of wood, blankets, or some other material that shouldn’t be on a train but is anyway. Hours after building preparing ourselves for our new life on the train, I pull out a small camera to document whatever was about to go down. You know, for security and artistic purposes. Whatever. Later we we’re in a l conference area and axel was at the front going over plans of attack if someone infected boards the train, supply collection, and ground rules about entering his cabin. The kid couldn’t have been older than 22 years old and acted as if he had been in the army since birth. He was scary. I was terrified of him and he already didn’t like me, and I wasn’t even sure why. When it came time to go out and get supplies I was left in the train bc axel didn’t trust me to not run off and do something stupid. And also bc i have 0 upper body strength and if something went wrong I’d just end up being dead weight. He had a point there. So I was left on the train with about 5 other people, including his gf. I kept forgetting her name at the time but I’m p sure her name is asia. She was a smallish girl with blue hair and glasses. The looks of a girl that loves tumblr but the personality of someone that spends too much time outside. Among the others were nameless individuals with very different personalities and styles. Who could forget Terrified Ginger Kid, Smarty Pants Glasses Girl, Alternative Rock Punk Chick, and Axels Leftover Henchman With No Social Skills At All. A good bunch of kids. While the ground team was out robbing a Costco I decided there was no better time than now to do a lil bit of interviewing with the passengers. You know, for my art project. I asked them how they were doing, if they were armed, and if they actually believe they’re in danger of being attacked by an undead insect person. They all seemed pretty scared and ill prepared for any fighting. I stated to think maybe I was the crazy one, and society had actually fallen and we were some of the lucky few to have been contained in travel at the time. Axel and his bad boys arrived back at the train with a bunch of useless college boy supplies. You got ur beer and chips and shit like that. Stuff that wouldn’t be that much of use if we were on the brink of death, as he says we are. — Days had passed and we were still on this train. Having no power sources we all had to turn off all our electronics to save them for an opportunity to make contact with someone for help. We sat in a dark conference room all day barely talking to each other. Axel walked out of his room carrying a golden pipe that he claimed was his staff. He walked over to me and hit me in the neck. I was just like “what the FUCK” and he said “stay away from Asia. I don’t want you messing around with her.” I responded “me messing around with ur girl should be the least of your problems right now, considering the situation were in.” He lunged at me one last time then backed off. I left the room and documented what had just happened. You know, to use against him in a Court Of Law bc he’s crazy and holding me and everyone else in a train against our will. Where was the conductor even at? Did they just disappear? Who cares at this point. Everyone in the group was afraid to talk to me now, except for Asia. God knows why she would still talk to me. Scared ginger boy was especially afraid, leaving the room each time I’d enter. Really broke my heart. I love scared ginger boys. —– The next day Smart Glasses Girl was missing. This was troubling bc she was one of the few people aboard the train that I saw as at least moderately sane. No one seemed to notice though, she was just a nameless background character in our story. I documented her disappearance and grabbed a few stashed electronics to try and contact her. After a few failed attempts contact was made and I finally found out for sure that the virus wasn’t real, and axel was essentially kidnapping us all to start some kind of post-apocalyptic-with-no-apocalypse- society. I had to get out. I assume the people that went with axel to gather supplies are either too stupid to realize nothing was happening, or were in on it from the start. That doesn’t explain the disappearance of the conductor, unless he’s in on it too. In that case this is some kind of conspiracy and someone in my half of the group is wanted by /someone/. But which one of us? And by who are they wanted? I couldn’t leave until I figured it out. My security art project depends on it. A story with no ending is useless. I asked Glasses Girl to do some research on every passenger for me and apologized for her not having a name. She said it was ok and started doing her research and said she should be ready with the information by the next morning. I deleted everything we had said to each other after documenting it, and turned off the phone I was using and put it back where I found it. —– Axel walked into the conference room holding his staff and said that a few people had gone missing. He only noticed because they were His people that followed him blindly. Having no other choice, he told Scared Ginger Boy to stay with Asia as the rest of us went out for supplies. He said he wanted someone a little more capable of defending themselves and others to protect his precious lady, but he wouldn’t Dare leave her alone with me. I have no idea why he was convinced something was going on between us, we were just pals and I have respect for relationships, even if I hate their partner. Having the revelation of how abusive he must be to her shocked me. I couldn’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. He treated her as a trophy instead of a human being. —– Once we got out of the train, Axel developed a bad Australian accent and told us to follow him closely. I of course, documented the excursion. Because if I died during all this I want some found footage movie to be made in my honor. And to show how crazy this dude is. We walked through what appeared to be an abandoned town and found a house with no one inside. I stayed outside to 'keep watch’ as the others went in and grabbed stuff. I felt ok with this bc I technically wasn’t robbing someone’s house, only standing outside and recording the crime through the windows. That made it ok. After a little while they all ran out of the house screaming. Apparently they spotted a roach on the floor and risked coming in contact with the virus. How did he convince these people of this? WHERE is the conductor? —– When we arrived back at our train commune, Ginger Boy was nowhere to be found. Asia said he had freaked out and ran outside. As some of the others looked for him, I got the phone I’d used the day before to contact Smarty Pants. She said she didn’t find anything of interest on anyone. As I was about to send her another message, axel walked in and grabbed the phone and smashed it with his pipe. What a dickhead. He told me to go back to the conference room or he’d smash my face in next. Nice! —– In the days that followed, more and more people went missing. It got down to just four people. Axel, Asia, me, and a kid with terrifying eyes. I think his name started with an S? Salamander? Idk but that’s good enough. Scary eyed Salamander boy had something off about him. Some kind of bad vibe. The type of kid to beat someone up for looking at him wrong. The type of kid to blindly follow orders. The perfect army recruit. Axel walked into the room, wielding his staff as usual, and sat down. Just then, we heard voices outside the train. He jumped up and told us all to hide and that he’d handle whatever it was. He opened the train door and someone yelled “hey!” He closed the door and ran back to where we all were hiding and told us to grab weapons. The voice could still be heard outside asking “What are you doing in there? How long has this train been sitting here? Do you need help?” The door opened and the guy walked in. Axel ran right at him and hit him in the head with his precious pipe and the dude fell to the floor unconscious. Nice! —– I decided that this had gone on long enough. Not only had this kid held us in here, but he also assaulted and essentially kidnapped this other dude too. He was tied up in a storage room. It was night time and the others were sleeping so I decided to go let him out and leave the train. I approached the door and prepared the makeshift knife to release him. Just then axel and lil salamander ran up to me and started beating me with pipes. Then I woke up the end