#anyway so sad that i only have 1 living uncle 1 living aunt and only 7 of my 15 cousins left. so tragic (:
Text
Damn I wish I had the spoons to type out long paragraphs/thoughts today bc oh man do I have some shit to say ab my now ex-family (not officially, but when I decide you're dead to me, you're dead to me. Like I forgot one person I cut out was still alive the other day when my mom was on the phone with them and I couldnt parse out WHO and then I was like oh damn i thought they were dead lol)
Anyway while mom and I were talking ab them, Gurkle was up and we looked over at the tank and I stg he was sitting there like
AGAGAGAGSGSGS which is how my therapists look when i talk ab my ex-family too
#marquilla#merry Christmas to me i cut out 5 toxic motherfuckers 🤗🤗#when you're dead to me you don't get to be near me unless i have to let you. you invite me somewhere? read.#i don't go to funerals but if i did i wouldnt talk to these motherfuckers. you tell my mom to tell me you said hi? go to hell bitch.#it's better for my mental health to cut them off completely and mourn that loss than to keep them in my life and hope that they still love#me. i saw what that did to my dad and i dont want that to be me.#dogcousin isnt dead to me... yet but keep pushing bitch.#anyway so sad that i only have 1 living uncle 1 living aunt and only 7 of my 15 cousins left. so tragic (:#yall can eat shit and die idc
1 note
·
View note
Text
i’m like one of the people i know who actively reads precrisis age batman comics, so i’m going to try to convince the rest of you to join me. i wholeheartedly believe 90% of the batfandom will like precrisis batdad.
“i wish WFA was canon” i wish golden age batdad was canon.
anyway. let’s talk about the story “bruce wayne loses guardianship of dick grayson” from batman #20.
dick’s “””aunt””” and “”“uncle””” (spoiler: they’re actually evil) show up and take bruce wayne to court over guardianship of dick grayson. of course, dick does not want to be taken from bruce, with whom “mutual affection between this man and boy has been as strong as that between father and son!”
on the cover, we can see robin’s teary face as he’s dragged away from batman in court. very dramatic.
we open to this lovely scene between said “father and son”, only to be interrupted by alfred alerting them that they have visitors. fuck visitors, alfred! bruce and dick are in their pajamas in the middle of a pillow fight! i hope dick’s winning.
[the wayne home is a happy home, for in it lives a happy trio! one day...]
A: mornin’, mawster dick! beg pardon, mr. wayne... but a gentleman and a lady are waitin’ downstairs!
D: haw! haw! you missed by a mile! hi, alfred!
B: visitors? okay, alfred, we’ll be down as soon as we haul on some clothes!
FYI this is how alfred’s dialogue is always written in these comics. british.
also. just. “the wayne home is a happy home, for in it lives a happy trio!” okay! okkayy!
.... not all is happy in the wayne home, though. “uncle george” and “aunt clara” are here and ready to take dick away! but bruce won’t let them go so easily!
D: no! i won’t go with you! bruce... don’t let them take me!
B: you can’t take dick away now! not after all these years! he’s like a son! i won’t let you!
just look how protective bruce is. that’s his boy!! that’s his son!!!
they go to court, and bruce pleads not to lose dick. dick is similarly upset. look how dark and edgy batman is grrrr i am the night vengeance grrrrr
[in a strained voice, bruce adds his testimony...]
B: dick is like my own son! i’ve even changed my will so that in the case of my death, dick will get my entire fortune! your honor, I... I love that boy! please don’t take him from me!
[dick is called...]
D: and when mom and pop died in the circus, I was all alone! then bruce... mr. wayne took me in! a fella couldn’t want a better friend!
okay: 1. bruce says “I LOVE THAT BOY.”
2. what’re the chances bruce is including the batman mantle in his will? also, dick is like... 10? he’s already left everything to dick? why not alfred, who’s, y’know, an adult?
unfortunately for our caped crusaders, the court rules that bruce must give up guardianship since he’s an irresponsible playboy. fortunately for us batfamily angst enjoyers, this means we get to see bruce absolutely DESTROYED over the loss of dick
*bruce and dick tearfully hugging*
D: golly, bruce... it’s no use pretending! i don’t know how i’m going to stand it!
B: easy, dick... be a good soldier!
uh.. gee, bruce, what a normal thing to say to your kid! “good soldier” i sure hope those words never come back to bite you in the ass!
*bruce watching dick walk off with his “aunt” and “uncle”
B: goodbye, kid, goodbye...
B: it’s going to be hard, alfred!
A: yes, sir! this house won’t be the same without him!
B: in order to cover up my batman work, I had to pretend to be a playboy. And now it’s made me lose the person I love the most! it isn’t fair! it isn’t fair!
anyone else feel your heart ripped out rn? bruce admitting dick is the person he loves the most? also, those panels remind me of when dick goes off to college in batman #217
[and so it is that the batman, who started his career alone, once hunts down crime—alone!
B: i certainly am going to miss robin... and those corny puns he’d yell whenever he’d wallop a thug!
aww he misses robin’s puns :( he’s so sad guys
thankfully, robin isn’t gone! he swoops in and helps batman get the bad guys.
D: looks like my footprint is “lion” on your chin... and I’m not “lion”! Oh! corny puns, eh, batman?
B: corny? maybe to you, but to me—they’re beautiful!!
he’s so proud of his boy
uh blah blah the aunt and uncle are actually evil, batman find himself in dire peril, dick and alfred team up to save the day, etc etc
*alfred holds the villain as robin punches him*
A: neatly done, mawster robin!
[and in a wooden shack on an empty lot...]
D: where did fatso take the batman? talk!
bad guy: i don’t know nothin’!
A: he seems a bit stubborn, sir! might i suggest a method of loosening his tongue? we might just leave him here in the dark, sir! there’s nothing around to harm him—just some, er, big rats!
D: splendid! maybe they’ll gnaw at his conscience!
bad guy: hey! wait a minute! i’ll talk! i’ll talk!
christ, alfred! don’t mess with the butler. he could’ve killed bane with that attitude.
thankfully, all goes well, the bad guys are defeated with the power of the Batfamily, and bruce regains guardianship of dick... because batman convinced the judge. gotham has a great fair justice system. someone get harvey dent here
judge: mr wayne, dick is yours again! incidentally, i’m inclined to agree with the batman! he visited me before and said that in spite of your playboy activities, you were really a good man!
B: well... of all people, he should know... eh, dick?
D: and how!
a happy ending for our little family <3
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
So uh. my parents are moving 11 hours away (by car).
the entire family on my mom's side is in an uproar and scrambling. my aunt has revealed herself to be even more of an absolute jerk than suspected and has been VERY entitled. my grandma can't understand how they could possibly move far from their grandkids. my sibling is torn between sadness (just moved back to the country and thus near the parents) and relief (dad+some of my other siblings have been very clear that respecting their nb pronouns and new name is stupid, in their bigoted book). my grandpa, who has dementia and is in the middle of a prostate cancer scare, is just vibing.
we don't talk to the family on my dad's side. they happened to be the ones to give him an origin story, and that's about the best thing they've ever done or ever will do.
one of my younger sisters (the other local one with kids) hasn't talked to me about how she's feeling about it yet; but maybe i'll get the chance to chat tomorrow when i'm in town near her.
my husband is baffled, as it seems very rushed. (of course it's rushed; but that's my dad's modus oprandi and they are literally selling the house to pay off debts and debt collecters ain't exactly patient) depressed because my mom+good and respectful younger siblings were the only ones we trusted not to be overwhelmed with our kids so the 3-4 dates a year we request babysitting for are now evaporated entirely.
kids were upset until i phrased it as "hey! we couldn't do this the last time they moved because kid1 was a baby and kid2 was a NEW baby, but now we could do car trips! family vacation, which we've never taken! and 3/4 of your aunts+uncles are moving out and going to be living nearby still, so you'll still see Best Uncle!" and then they were SET.
i'm. okay?
focusing mostly on what new holiday traditions we can make. what i need to do to finish making the boys' halloween costumes (kid2 was BORN on halloween which makes it even more of a big deal here). what crafty things i can do for birthday (3 kids born in oct) and christmas gifts. planning out a Christmas Gift Box to be sent to my parents+lil sis AND one for another sister out in cali with my adorable wee nephews.
not my circus; not my monkeys. is it how i'd have done this? nah. do i have any right to think about it other than in terms of how to adjust future plans? nope. they're moving to an area they lived in briefly a decade ago and it was legit the happiest i'd ever seen them. why would i be entitled enough to tell them no, keep your debt looming over you like a crushing shadow, stay here where you are constantly stressed (because their small town really sucks) instead of going to the place where you can reliably find happiness???
i'm pretty sad about not seeing my mama at least once a week, but we facetime everydayish anyway so it's not like we're limited to the faceless phone. but my dad will cheer up which will in turn boost her mood and things will generally be better for them.
i do have therapy tomorrow and last month my homework assigned was to 'go on a date and have 1 night without the kids for the love of god mae you need to have some alone time with your husband as a couple holy shit,' and hahaha i failed :)
#personal mae stuff#just gotta get this out#dreading the horror i know is coming from my therapist the most tbh lol
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been really busy but it's finally slowing down so I should not sure when I'll be able to post again.
Chapter 7 Christmas & and Leaving friends
Disclaimer sorry I sorta moved everything up I didn't want to have 5 people in the group anymore I was going to get rid of kendrea some how and this was it. Seemed like a good time I'm so sorry. This was hard to write also I'm not good at writing sad things yet this is one of first writings that I've typed up
A couple months had past and Christmas is just around the corner. Me, Fred, Lee and George where just sitting in the common room thinking of pranks. When kendrea came in from the girls dormitories her face tear stained and cluching a letter. We all ask her what's wrong she shows us the letter :
Dear Kendrea,
We're so sorry to tell you that your grandmother and grandfather Larsen have been killed due to asphyxiation while visiting you aunt and uncle. Sorry but you have to come home at the end of term after Christmas and won't be returning and your wand will be snapped and you'll also be oblivoed. We're so sorry.
There where more words but I didn't read the all
No one talked for a couple of minutes. Those minutes felt like a long time. I could feel the tears running down my face. I quickly wiped them away but then I saw everyone else had a little glint in there eyes that looked suspiciously like a bit of water in there eyes. The first person to speak was me unfortunately I said " Well... one of my friends is going away for who knows how long." "I know right ill try and write but I'm not sure." She said sounding like she's been crying. The last few weeks went by fast a little to fast. The last night that Kendrea was so fun I haven't cried and laughed so much in 1 night. The morning was so sad we all hoped aboard the train atleast me,kendrea, Fred, George, and lee (the headmaster allowed them to rife out with us then go back via floo). We got off and said our good byes. Lot of tears were shed. It was a good but also a sad then I saw mom and dad and cheered up and I told her all about this year so far. I felt bad for the twins and Harry they had to stay home at hogwarts but mainly the twins because Christmas at the burrow sounds fun ( from what Fred has said) I feel also bad for harry for having to living with his how do I put this living hell of a place to live anyways I can't wait for school to start. (I dont feel like writing what she got I'm writing this late at night only free time I have right now)
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Will Knock You Live Blogging
I'm really excited for this one, I love the idea of the younger guy pretending to be all tough and gangster with inspiration from old TV mafia bosses or whatever lol. I don't know how there's a story worth 12 episodes but I'm hoping I'll be delighted to find out. The visuals and bright colours look interesting too.
I also just finished Triage which was very good and well-made and had more of a focus on the plot than the romance, so maybe this will be a good change of pace.
Ep 1 (May 5)
he takes this so seriously, it's very endearing
getting the gang for moral support while he asks out his crush lol
this show is so silly and fun already, i'm kinda giggling out loud
Noey believes in destiny and only listens to the song "Destiny"
hey, be nice to the restaurant uncle! >:(
also pls how does the uncle have interest with these kids? How are they lending anybody money, you're high schoolers lol
going to get the meat his mother told him to buy :)
forced to be in close quarters on the bus lol
Noey used ter with his crush but he also uses it with Thi
omg not "You got my heart. I came here to ask you nicely to give it back" already, though it's likely about the lotus he stepped on and took away
I searched "lotus before bloom" and saw the worst photo ever, made my skin crawl and I started understanding trypophobia. made my skin crawl and kinda made me wanna throw up
kabadon
save from falling only to drop him anyway
a day to find and return the lotus
damn, this lotus is very intact, he's not even gonna tear off most of the petals?
not Noey getting some random kid to bring his crush to a designated spot so he can serenade her. let her live!
there's even a dance from the whole group accompanying it, delightful tbh
no just be like aw :( she doesn't like me :( how sad, it's okay though i will seek joy else. not "i won't give up"
Seriously, that lotus wouldn't fool anybody
kabadon 2
Noey likes the cute charm on Thi's bag, aw. nvm it's probably some religious symbol/helps with business and so his mother might want it? still cute of him to notice it and inquire
does he take it?
ah lol it's a Soulmate/love charm
heh, Noey indeed did take it and now Thi's mother's asking him if he's met his soulmate lol
oh silly Thi, thinking you can already say goodbye to Noey
user heretherebedork mentioned how Ep 1 is full of symbolism of them exchanging hearts/souls... or, specifically, with Thi stepping on Noey's heart and then giving him the soulmate charm.exchanging hearts/souls
Ep 2 (May 6)
Thi: junior in uni, high school tutor
last ep kind of focused on Noey (or rather the narration was from one of Neoy's gang members lol) but this one Thi's doing his own voiceover
I get some whining but come onnnnn, either be stronger in your conviction to not go or suck it up after a while
I must not use my brain while watching this show for real because now I'm like ?? Why didn't you get your iPad during the hours you were waiting?
last ep, I noticed that when Thi was looking for the lotus at night and Noey was supervising with the umbrella, Noey was in all blue while Thi was wearing red but this time their colours changed?
Damn, Thi managed to not properly show Noey his face or what?
disgusting looking water rip for them having to film in that
lol Noey thinks Thi's following him around on purpose
pls shallow ass water
the view and trail to the restaurant really is quite pretty
Noey means butter?
ah indeed it's Noey's mother's restaurant, I wasn't sure
and Thi indeed was into the girl who served the drink lol
not the girl/Noey's sister just roasting Thi's nerdiness and naivete
lol, Thi's friend a real one for talking up his tutoring to Aunt Tim
Noey confused at Thi's fainting
forehead kiss
Noey really living in romance dreamland
gangster Noey fr
Something hilarious about how Noey's confidence that Thi likes him, like him giving a forehead kiss as reward and talking about "giving in" just for the night
Thi coming to O's rescue in ep 1 (and somewhat succeeding) and to Noey's rescue in ep 2 (and not ending up helping but y'know it's the thought that counts)
Ep 3 (May 6)
lmao kindhearted Noey giving Thi a chance to win his heart
crazy that Thi still hasn't uttered the words "I don't like you romantically"
not the housewife mention
Why is Thi smiling like he's into it lmfao maybe I'm the silly one and Noey's correct that Thi's already fallen for him
pls what did Thi drink from the monk's donations? pop?
Noey calls Thi Jarunee. I'd seen a post when this was airing that Noey calls Thi by names of famous' gangsters' wives/gfs?
Noey's apparently not gonna be nice like last night
ah, the gangster lackeys call Noey Phi
pls not another girl wanting to photos with Noey cuz she finds him scary but likes him still
girl, Noey's a menace, what's with this notoriety lol but how much of it is true? like pls the jail and gun stuff
aww Noay and Nid Nhoi brother-sister bonding moment
girl, Thi, please, not you now believing the rumours about Noey and so taking a wooden weapon to face him
this is so humiliating for Thi i'm gonna bury myself
Noey's main lackey manager guy is so funny and useless
damn, Thi can eat Noey's shitty/salty cooking
The foot that Noey meant to give to his crush Pam now being eaten by Thi
damn, they fr left at like 9pm and left Thi to sleep on the roof the whole night lol
literal menace Noey, being stuck on the rooftop was a grift?!
I now love this song Destiny, it's so memorable
Third person Thi was trying to protect: Nid Nhoi. Although this time he miscalculated even more than the previous 2 times. He's really unable to read the room/understand what's going on sometimes and it's funny still because we're on ep 3 but is gonna become real old if it keeps continuing on for 9 more eps.
Ep 4 (May 7)
learning about Pam? girl...
bucket hat to a new level, pot helmet
Wanlapa and Jamnien
not Noey teaching Thi to fight lol
lmfao 1 punch and running away, alright
2nd time Noey wanted to feed Thi lol it's really just his own desire
Noey's never gonna get tutored
Noey's goal to get better at cooking
damn, 4 eps in and finally we get some attempt at tutoring in the last 10 mins
Reddit post about Noey calling Thi old-time female names
I... wonder if this sort of low-plot, mostly chill, meandering show is maybe not what I'm fully in the mood for? Like I enjoy watching the show and I'm usually giggling and having fun while watching but also I feel little urge to pick up the next episode.
I am somewhat tempted to pick up Only Friends as well and alternate like 1 ep of Only Friends and 1 ep of I Will Knock You but I don't know if that'd actually work, and I've also got 23.5 which is another low-stakes, sweet high school romance that I'm already an episode behind on. Would I end up just watching Only Friends while ignoring I Will Knock You? Or should I try it just to see what happens and we're early enough in the month that I'll likely be able to finish all 3 of 23.5, I Will Knock You, and Only Friends if I'm in the middle of all 3 but 1 or 2 falls to the wayside until I finish another.
hmm... okay, I will next pick up Only Friends but maybe I'll try to limit that to 1 ep a day + the 2 podcasts I listen to that did ep-by-ep recaps and try to fit in 1 I Will Knock You ep a day as well.
Ep 5 (May 14)
Well... I'm here a week later because I ended up binging all of Only Friends and taking a 1-day break as well. I think I was just more in the mood for that kind of drama and addictive sort of storyline rather than the chill school shows like 23.5 and I Will Knock You. I have however returned to this and plan to watch hopefully all the remaining episodes or at least 4 more episodes till ep 8 before starting another possibly high-action/high drama series.
FOUR TIMES TABLES?! 10th grader? Noey's like 15-16 years old at least, right?
Noey's relentless certainty of Thi's crush on him lol
why does this whole endeavor feel fake
lol indeed it's some sort of set up and they're just eating ice cream
I was wanting vanilla ice cream in a cup to eat with a little wooden non-spoon just like as a kid but apparently, it's coconut ice cream and i want it even more now
pls I feel like I would've already decked Noey by now if he kept egging me on as if I liked him. If anything, so far, Noey has started falling for Thi lol
lol serves him right to have everybody ring his pockets dry with the ice cream
Is that the Bas gang also eating ice cream?
Is the helmet stolen or did Noey prepare it for Thi?
pls Noey wanting to go to Thi's room
and his whiny/mocking laughs lol teenager indeed
is he just throwing the seeds anywhere on the floor?!
Ai'Noey, which is seen as rude
also does the fish have some sort of resemblance to Noey's bang? he signaled the bang when he said "Are you making fun of me?" and then made Thi get his hair style
lol was Noey just looking at Thi's notes when answering
Thi Watphlu?
Ep 6 (May 14)
extremely serious silly dancing
what are they collecting?
taking shoes from the temple alksdfjalsdf for some reason Thi's banned from buying new sandals but "borrowing" them and returning a new pair later is... fine?
This show is so slow, it's kinda hard to binge since it's also not... explicitly romantic? Like the fun part about the show is how bizarre it is and the funny situations but I'm in the mood for some plot.
I watched 2 eps instead of 4 but I think I'll give Kiseki: Dear To Me a try now instead lol
Ep 7 (May 24)
I'm back 10 days later and this time, I must finish!
They were actually so cute and now Noey bringing up Pam again, c'mon kid.
Thi orchestrating Noey flirting with him to practice flirting with Pam, bruh
yaas lol Thi as Noey and Noey as Pam in the imagination
giggly Noey
man, they're being too cute and friendly while trying to help Noey to flirt with a different person, I hope they start liking each other (or realizing it) soon
...does Noey know? that he likes Thi? why is it seeming like the flowers are for Thi bruh
hah, Nid Nhoi being like is there something going on between you and Thi?
ahhhh Noey doing his homework so that Thi can be proud of himmmm
omg yay Noey being like shall I hit on you (Thi) instead?
I really liked this episode and it's not even that it's better than the other episodes necessarily, I think I'm just receptive to high school cutesy storyline again after wanting something darker or more dramatic for the last few weeks. which is great, it's way more enjoyable to watch a show while in the mood for it.
Ep 8 (May 28)
Was busy this weekend but I'm finally back again
fun how forward Noey is to both his friends and Thi about him flirting with Thi
Thi dragging his friends around to help Noey with his motorcycle, aw
a different guy showing interest in Thi?
girl, Thi's friends are gonna know what's up
Noey's so mean to Thi in front of Thi's friends >:(
ah, Noey's cooking only edible to Thi, who enjoys it a lot
Ep 9 (May 29)
you just called me (phi) and idiot? yes. oh, okay. lmfaooo
this tiny child lolll
Noey declaring his intentions to make Thi his bf in front of everyone
[Linguistics] ik Noey said he doesn't even consider Thi his Phi but he's been referring to him as Phi these last few minutes. Has he always done that and I never noticed or is it new?
Ep 10 (May 30)
nooo Noey did bad in class despite trying
ahh, the movie that shaped Noey
this shot is so similar to the BD films that take place in the village ahh on a boat in a pond full of water lilies <3
talking about the FL going abroad but this time I think Noey's the one who goes abroad
why are we competing to ride the ferris wheel with Thi, is he a prize?
oh damnn dramatic fight, and Nid Nhoi and Auntie Tim getting caught in the crossfires
Ep 11 (May 30)
It's not good how I just want this show to be over already because it's not that I dislike it or that it's bad, I'm literally just... in the mood for something different.
aww, Noey and Thiw friendship T.T
Thi's parents immediately realizing what's going on and disapproving
I wish these conflicts were happening since earlier on in the show because a lot of the earlier eps were repetitive in their 'Thi is scared of Noey' cycles.
Aw, Noey's not giving up. and like to see Thi being into Noey's plans lol
[Linguistics] Noey often calls Thi P'Thi but also is currently using just Thi in this convo
did Noey's cooking improve or do Thi's parents also just love Noey's terrible cooking? both are cute
girl why is Phayu still here and why doesn't Thi tell him no straight up
2 seconds of lesbians and I smile, imagine what'd happen if they even gave us 20 minutes. oh this makes me realize there's no second couple and I think this show could've actually benefited from a 2nd couple story tbh (though at least the family story's there but there isn't too many scenes with just Noey and family members)
? girl, "I'm gonna flirt with the real Pam now?" is this Noey trying to break Thi's heart to get him to not miss him or whatever? we should kill him
not the ending credits dancing scene being only Thi by himself D:
Ep 12 (May 31)
finallyyyy last ep, goddamn I just wanna be done bro
noble idiocy is dumb af every time but especially this time because they already discussed LDR!!
gorgeous scenery
Noey and Thiw :')
but is the gang back to being troublemakers? i liked them being nerds
ahhh Thi was with Thiw that night, not watching a movieeee
and Thi's fuckass father made Noey say that ?!
hehe the soulmate charm secret is out
They're really quite cute and charming together heh
okay, so the timeskip was just finishing 12th grade and getting into uni i guess? Idk why I was under the impression that Noey would go abroad from the spoilers but it's just Thi's Chiang Mai studies
aw, online pair dancing
Nid Nhoi's competing restaurant to her mother, I'm dead lmfao this family
literal 1 second of lesbians
i'm ignoring the marriage mention and still kiss because it's the thought that counts
aw, original lotus
I became less mad about the noble idiocy because if a 17-year-old is told this by the parents of their bf + believes themself to not have any future, I can believe that they'd indeed break up.
Overall:
Noey is such a unique character, it was a pleasure to see him on screen.
I really like the familial dynamics between Noey, Nid Nhoi, and Auntie Tim/their mother. It was fun and they were always teasing each other but obviously there was love and concern beneath it. And the gang was great too, how they obeyed Noey and were a bunch of goofballs but obviously the fighting was less than ideal.
I realized toward the end that this show should've had maybe a second couple which maybe had a faster or more intense relationship while we were slowly, slowly, slowly inching toward the Noey and Thi romance lol
I wasn't obsessively watching the next episode but I was usually smiling while watching the episode. I think it was half me not being in the mood for a cute high school romance where nothing much happens and half on the show for dragging out the Noey and Thi stuff for so long in the first half, like the tutoring didn't even start until 1/3 of the way into the show.
It should be a 5.5/10 because of how much I dragged my feet while watching but I'm giving it a bonus 0.5 because of the great cinematography and also because me barely watching was more due to me than the show itself.
Rating: 6/10
0 notes
Text
5/8/24
2:04 a.m Edited/Added to
So I'm playing bo4, I have been all day since shipping the envelope minus when I showered and shaved my head and face.
The problem with games like this is there is hardly any dialogue... so I mean I hallucinate constantly. Constantly. CONSTANTLY. I have a head ache from it. This is why I listen to TV all day or chose my games wisely and tbh I really think the Xanax half life plays a role. Every day by like 11 p.m or 12 a.m my brain stops being sedated and I hallucinate more..
I had a flashback of me hitting myself in the head over and over again. And I keep thinking about how I didn't write about that in my Kristen Report. It's fucking sad trying to play my favorite game all day and having flashbacks and hallucinating constantly.
I'm like dying inside. I'm so exhausted from hallucinating... and I'm worried about not making it to my t-shot... beyond that, why didn't I write about that in the kristen report???? I can't do it now. I mean clearly I blocked it out.
Sometimes I wonder why I fight so hard to be here? I'm so single I'm going to die alone. All I have is my siblings. And I can barely be around big groups of people bc it's exhausting af. Also money and everything.
My grandmother and aunt is here bc my uncle who I hate is dying. And my dad wants me to go there Thursday and I just can't do it. I can't. It's too much. I missed seeing my grandmother last time she came here too bc of psychosis.
My uncle Mark the transphobic asshole is dying from dementia and a lung disease. I feel bad and idk If I should see him or even go to the funeral. I always said I wouldn't when the time came.
Anyways I'm here hallucinating thinking about all this stuff while I try to play and I have a head ache..
Trying to figure out how to drug myself tonight to make it to my stupid Testosterone shot...
Melatonin interacts with Ibuprofen... and I need Ibuprofen... to stop this head ache... so maybe I'll take 1mg of Xanax and 25mg of Hydroxyzine.. and leave out the Melatonin..
I just don't know why I'm still here. I love being Nathan so much but this hallucination is never ending and I have nothing to live for other than the guy in the mirror. I can barely accomplish anything bc my mental health keeps me so held back. It takes me triple the time of a normal person.
I wouldn't even be seeing Mark. I'd be seeing just my grandmother and aunt and dad and step mom and the kids and it's just too much.
Not to mention the other day I either threw my xanax bottle on the bed before going to the bathroom (its only got my daily dose in it the rest is locked away) and I don't remember bc I can't think of a reason I did that... or my mother did. Before I saw the bottle on my bed I heard my mother on the phone say alprazolam... did I hallucinate that? She was talking to our neighbor Mark and about to go over there. Now I'm suspicious she's stealing my xanax despite the fact that the count is right. I went over the options:
1) she's stealing it- but the numbers add up
2) her and Mark are getting fake Pills and replacing my real ones with the fakes- this sounds utterly delusional.
She's prob heard me say benzodiazepines 5000 times and idk how stupid she is. Does she know Xanax and Valium for example are benzodiazepines. I was reading my Kristen Report outloud so many times to stop hallucinating as much bc reading in silence is torture... so idk..
She could be replacing the Pills but it's very delusional.. although not impossible or she could be planning to steal a couple halfs slowly...
Or i could have hallucinated it.... but why did I hallucinate that? I was thinking about picking up my xanax bc I was doing it that day- but I think xanax not alprazolam... it was before I saw it on the bed. Obv alignment with the hallucination has become an issue I can think any word and it can say it... but I do really think xanax... My hallucination can go into sounds and into inaudible dialogue.. beyond that maybe I read the cvs text on my way to my bedroom... and that says alprazolam.... she was kinda whispering and then said like it's smoke some hash and started talking about weed...but...
Why was my xanax bottle on my bed?? I can't remember for the life of me why I would throw it on the bed...
0 notes
Text
Rant/vent below w/ mentions of family illness/death
God these past two weeks have been so damn stressful and it has absolutely sucked. My grandmother has been in the hospital for awhile now, but she was moved to hospice either yesterday or the day before and by what my dad is telling me, it looks like she’ll pass tonight or early tomorrow.
In all honesty, I’m not super torn up about her passing specifically. Yeah, it’s sad to see but I never really knew her very well since for almost my whole life, she lived in California while my family and I were in New Jersey, and I’d really only see her at new years or occasional larger family gatherings. It more is really hard not being home to support my dad, my aunt and my uncle, since I know this is really hard for them.
My mom and my sister came up to visit me for my school’s family weekend last week and that was really nice (my brother came up from Indianapolis as well, where he’s going to college abt 2 1/2 hrs from here), but the overall mood of them being here was overhung with the news coming in from my dad about my grandma. Initially it looked like I was going to have to fly home for like two days, at first over family weekend (which would have been horrible, since it feels like none of my college experience has gone my way and that would have only added to it), and then potentially what would have been the end of this current week. That would’ve been sandwiched between two events I really couldn’t miss here on this past Wednesday and this coming Sunday.
Thankfully I don’t have to fly home, but this thing on Sunday is also stressing me out. I’ve been aiming for this scholarship that’s offered through one of the fraternities here and I’m one of the 25 or so finalists for it after making it through 2 rounds of interviews and two days of a “leadership retreat” that consisted of team building games and a ropes course. Of the 25 finalists, only 6 get the scholarship, and it’s rewarded at a banquet on Sunday that we have to dress in business formal attire for. I was able to buy a nice outfit for it with my mom this past weekend, but I’ve never gone to an event like that, and not knowing if I’m gonna get the award is also stressful.
Then, I have two assignments I need to do/type up by Monday, and my computer’s charger decided to seemingly bite the dust. I got a new battery for it back in August just before school, so I know it’s not that. Unless my roommate, who’s more knowledgeable with mechanical stuff than I am, can fix it somehow, the soonest a new one I order could get here is Monday/Tuesday, ie after my assignments are due. I can still use the computer labs here to write/do them, but it still sucks that I generally won’t be able to use my computer at all until I get a new cable.
Depending on how things happen with regards to my grandma and what kind of things we want to do as a family afterwards, my brother and I may drive home for Thanksgiving break a day early and I’m just really hoping that this all doesn’t overshadow my break from school, bc that would also really suck.
Anyways, I just had to get that out of my head. Thank you for reading if you did. I’d appreciate some just, comments of support on this if you’re willing, just so I know some people are there.
#TacTalks#rant#vent#personal#rambles#tw death#tw death mention#death#death mention#tw illness#illness#I’m still kinda new to this so if anyone has any other tags you want me to add to this pls lmk /gen
0 notes
Note
I would love to know some facts about erkan yasar, only if u feel comfy sharing. (:
What can I say about Erkan Andrew Yasar.
He's a bitch. Stay away from him.
No seriously, I can't stand that asshole. Regularly try to kill him but they won't let me! [JK he's my good time cheese. No I do actually do try to kill him tho.]
Pfft, so Andy. I'm going with my most recent RP Andy canons. My original Andys have gone through a few fcs, various ages, different points of his life, and different genres. The main thing about Andy is always: Vengeance and Loyalty. Oh, and he is SUPER Catholic. Sooner or later God's gonna cut you down.
Okay, so Andy:
Andy was born to a very loving family. His parents were in love and they loved him very much. About when Andy was ten his parents went out and disappeared. [Where are they? I don't know. They probably died, eventually. I never thought that far, I just liked the drama of them being missing and no one finding them.]
Andy's life went through two more big moves: 1. After his parents died he stayed with his dad's sister -- and that wasn't ... the best. More or less she kicked him out. Because her new husband was a homophobe. 2. But it was best for everyone that he moved in with his mom's cousin Adrian.
Okay, I'm giving you his history and not FACTS, so below:
Andy is a former marine
He smokes and drinks like it is his job.
His actual job is florist [and bail recovery agent]. He used to work with his uncle who was an event coordinator, had a popular business. But his uncle died. [Do you sense a theme?]
He had some major in landscaping, I actually looked it up but I forgot the title. He does some charity work at times tho. The concept of home means a lot to Andy. So he is good to places that were good to him, to people who cared when they didn't have to.
Andy can schmooze, he can mingle. But he is actually a very private [and paranoid] person.
He is always impeccably dressed. I don't think he has worn anything other than suits in his life. At least not since he hit his late teens, anyway. He loves pastels, actually. And is often dressed in white or light colors. He isn't against patterns either. [You might find him in something like this.]
His apartment by contrast looks like someone barely lives in it. No effort. [TWC Andy apt is def Minimal lmao]
He is divorced. He prefers one night stands, when he bothers. You don't go home to his place. No attachments please.
His platonic relationships mean the world to him. He has no living family left that he knows of [and in his aunt's case, that he acknowledges], so all his loyalty goes to them.
He is loyal like a dog.
I personally put Andy as lawful evil, because he has a Code [also he's very Catholic. I said that right?] But a friend of mine tagged him as True Neutral, and I can see it. I like it.
Andy DOES in fact go to Church. ROFLMAO. I can't remember if I've said if he goes to confession. ahhhh. anyway.
Here is AG Andy's pinboard bc now I'm filled with nostalgia. tw for weapons, blood. Sad shit.
#oc: andy yasar#grapecase answers#anon#thanks for the ask!#ugh i miss him#ask: erkan yasar#i actually got a commission done of him#im just waiting to figure how to credit it#also andy is turkish and spanish. so he is my spicy white in many ways lmao#[also bc he kills people. that's spicy.]#his inspo was marcel gerard [and originally - haha pun - elijah but not really. mostly marcel] -- and sometimes maybe klaus lmao#but mostly marcel. with a dash of frank and matt. i like the idea of someone smooth and all smiles. the affably evil#andy ended up becoming more introverted but he can definitely still do that affably evil face when he wants#he's more of a noble demon these days i think#have to review that trope#he is also very lowkey fidgety but mostly like he often has something in his hand that he's turning around -- usually when he's thinking#or observing
1 note
·
View note
Text
#1 - *insert some sort of pretentious title *
welcome in ! here’s where everything starts…
i probably should have thought a bit more before starting this entry but alas. here we are ! i guess ill go chronologically so the story makes sense,, if i miss anythinging im positive futrure me will fill in the gaps, but my memory is pretty shit tbh.
Before we ~officially~ start i guess ill introduce myself. i have a name (as does everyone fucking duh) but ive recently realized i dont feel like my name is mine. cant really explan it exaclty right now but in the last couple of months, ive gotten really angry that people call me by name,, whose to know whyy /s. realistically it’s probably due to the fact that im not a woman and haven’t been for many years now. i think im just scared to really admit it ? like i really dont like who i am, i dont fit in, and im so fucking sad all the time but im scared to start exploring my gender identity for who knows what reason. if anyone knows, please enlighten me. im 25, single and have never had a parter, been on one failed date (yikes), and haven’t come out to my parents. big. oof yall. i have a job that is what i thought i wanted to do, but im second guessing it rn since there is so much im not able to address or even attempt to fix. FUN /s
cool intro down i guess. now to the beginning ish ?
my earliest memory is my mom feeling me smashed avocado, but apparently that never happened. im an only child who’s always wated a sibling. my childhood was very lonely. my parents essentially removed themselves from their families, so i didn’t grow up hanging out with cousins, grandparents, aunts/uncles, literally no one besides my 2 parents. the memories i have of my first house are fuzzy, but i feel like there were a lot of rooms for only 3 people. i lived on a quiet street with lots of families with children of different ages, but i dont have any memories of playing with kids on my street or going to anyone’s house for playdates and what not. not sure why.
i remember when i was really little (maybe like 4 or 5 ish??) we went on a trip to disneyland. i think we flew there instead of driving. one of the days my mom was putting my shoes on— they were brown winnie the pooh sandals with buckles at the ankle and i had this weird feeling. it felt like i was in a dream like i was maybe lucid dreamis sort of? and i had this weird oedipus complex for my mom. like i saw how much my dad loved her and i wanted that,, its odd nw that im reflecting on it and i know many people go through this stage of development but like why did 4 year old me think i could love and care for my mom the same way my dad did ?? fucking kid lol. anyway perhaps this is graphic but whatever. i remember i was on the edge of the bed and she was sitting on a chair she pulled up across from me. my foot was between he legs so she could buckle the strap on my shoe and my brain just told me to push my foot closer to her? idk idk. but i push my foot closer to her and like tapped it and i remeber feeling hmm like giddy ? like i was so happy i had done that and then i went to do it again and my mom had like thrown my foot off the chair and started yelling at me. rightfully so like totally not ok for a 4 year old to try and arouse their parent. but in that moment i went from being so fucking giddy and happy and almost proud to feeling so fucking ashamed and unloved. and as she was yelling at me i just cried and cried and i remember just not even wanting to go to disneyland anymore because i didnt want to be around my mom. wild. everything in my little world felt so fucking big that my parent telling me not to do somthing inappropriate made me not want to do the fucking disneyland run anymore.
i dont know what came out of the rest of the day but we Must have gone to disney or soemthing. now, you maay be thinking “oh getting yelled at for doing something made you not do it again” right? wrong. my dumb fucking pea brain wanted to chase that feeling agian so the next fucking day when my shoes were getting put on i tried to do it again. there wasnt any yelling that time though. i just remember my leg getting pushed again, my name being said sharply, and my mom telling me to put my shoes on by myself or to not wear shoes at all. and what do you think little me felt? disppointment, guilt, ashamed. all to be expected but it hit my world hard (again 4 years old. every little thing feels like the world is crashing).
how does this relate to the present? i dont fucking know but i might figure it out along the line. anywho theres other things i remember from this age of my life but they don’t really fit the theme im trying to follow so i wont bore yall with the extra details. didnt think this one would be so long but here we are. i cant wait for the highschool installments bc those are FOR SURE going to make me cry hahahahahahahahaha strap in.
on the dockett for next time: elementary school. probaly around 2nd or 3rd grade. little preview— the first time i was called a lesbian (derogatory) and, upon reflection, my first crush phew 😮💨
ps. i know there are probably spelling mistakes and im not following any grammar rules. stream of consciousness yall. cant really blame me plus its uhhh 3 am here so yall are already know whats up.
#hmm#journaling#stream of thoughts#beware: those who read are in for a Ride#or so i think i mean its my life#and yeah i get it im probably super dramatic and these things are fucking miniscule#but WHATEVER#okie gn gn gn
0 notes
Text
heartstopper 2x05-08 (yeah i decided to finish watching it tonight)
heartstopper 2x05
uhhh so nick and charlie just ran off from the louvre without telling the teachers? hahahahahaaha
darcy!!! grrrrr
as much as i don't care for tao and elle's storyline, it was nice when they finally (? i can't remember if they kissed before this) fucking kissed
ben continues to be annoying
not much to say, really
onwarddddd
heartstopper 2x06
sooo the teacher thing is kinda awkward bc like... just... offering to share a single bed like sorta outta nowhere? skjfngkfjg okay well whatever
yay nick finally said it/came out
darcyyyy <3
why the hell was ben at the party and why was he let in when harry wasn't, i thought everyone hated him, and it's not like he seemed to have any friends at the party anyway, he was just standing around and then he made a fuss in the truth or dare game
truth or dare btw when it involves peer pressure like that sucks
i like tao and elle a lot better now that they're together. they're really cute. esp when they kicked charlie out of the toilet even though he needed to pee lol
i know i said the teacher thing was a bit weird but i meant, more like how it seems to be beginning... you'd think two adults who work together would do it a bit more carefully in case it goes pear-shaped?? also i kinda like mr farouk when he hasn't got a stick up his arse lol, and ajayi is fine ofc
aaah nearly forgot to mention: nick's dad is a fucking dickkkk. absent fathers make me so mad
kinda feeling for isaac here. i also don't like kissing people, it's gross, and people put suchhh importance on kissing... is it meant to feel good or...? all it is is just saliva-ey and wet and gross and sometimes you can even smell the saliva which is ew
heartstopper 2x07
okay before i forget to say it, omg why didn't charlie block ben ages ago on insta
i had already seen charlie's speech to ben on tumblr a few days ago so it didn't get me as pumped (it was very good though) but
NICK'S speech at the dinner table SKSJDNFKNGKFJGN THAT got me pumped (for two broad reasons: 1. yeah why care/who gives a fuck when your dad doesn't give a fuck about you, 2. re your dad seeing you twice a year or some shit like that... so i have an aunt who lives in one country, and her husband lives in the neighbouring country, and they probably only see each other like twice a year, and they're not divorced, and like, what the FUCK are you guys doing; my mum told me she used to (or still does) get really sad about it, so, you know, that thing with nick and his dad really hit hard, even though it's not affecting me personally; i'm just so mad at that dickhead uncle)
also i love tori so much, i so wanted her to stab her fork straight down on david's arm instead of just using her fingers. and then i wanted her to play some major prank on david when she was in the bathroom, like how matilda changed her dad's ... hair product thing into bleach
darcy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah (yeah my mum makes a fuss if i wanna wear a suit too :( ) (she looks gorgeous in a suit btw)
isaac is really going through it huh... like, the bit at the mall/shopping area
(btw so... the UK has sixth form-specific schools? heccc)
heartstopper 2x08
that last scene with nick and charlie!! jdkjgnfkjgkjk
and tara and darcy!!! i felt sorry for tara when she was at the prom but then you also know that darcy's going through some serious shit and... yeah. her home life is awful!! where did she go that night after the prom? i hope tara's parents let her stay over foreverrrr
is tori aroace as well? if we is... could we just have an ace person in s3 if there's an s3...
i detecttt imogen/sahar lol
0 notes
Text
Harry Bottom and the Philosophers Bone
Harry Bottom and: The Philosophers Bone
chapter 1
Harry Bottom lived with his aunt and uncle Virgin and Petunia dursley, along with their fat twat of a son Dudley, who always got more presents than him.
he had to live with them because his parents had died of AIDS and he was an orphan.
he hated living with them, because they were such prudish twats and because they were so mean and didnt accept him. they made him stay in the closet because he was always wanking and smoking strange herbs.
he didnt know why he was always so horny but it had been this way as long as he could remember...
on his 18th birthday, he received a letter from ‘Hogfarts School of Bitchcraft and Faggotry. he had never heard of the place.
his aunt and uncle immediately forbade him from going and locked the door of his cupboard, but the letters kept arriving.
there were a fuckload of owls flocking about the house and gypsies and transvestites kept knocking on the door. uncle virgin was fuming.
eventually, he drove them all the way to a horrible little house in the middle of the sea somewhere in the hebrides or summat.
‘ha! id like to see them find us here! no nephew of mine shall be a faggot!’
they made harry stay in the coldest most horrible room wearing a chastity cage, cus they were weird like that.
with sad resignation, poor lickle harry bottom stuck a finger up his butt and started jerking off, when all of a sudden there was a booming knock at the door...
he stopped mid-wank.
nervously, uncle virgin crept towards the door and opened it.
and whew! there stood a giant BEAR of a man in a leather jacket, with a huge shaggy beard. he walked straight inside and turned to harry
‘appy birthday lad! todays the day you become a true gaylord’ he said, slapping harry on the back
harry wasnt sure what he meant.
the hairy giant strode past virgin and petunia, who were too shocked to say anything, sat his enormous fat arse down on the sofa.
unfortunately, he had not noticed that dudley was already sat there, and before the lad could squeal in protest he was already engulfed betwixt the giants enormous booty cleft.
the giant stretched his arms and shuffled around in his seat.
‘not reet comfy’ he said, before ripped an enormous fart which rattled the windows.
‘ahhh, much better’
the muffled sound of poor dudley screaming could be heard from within sweaty confines of the hefty leather-clad rump, but just barely.
harry felt his boner stiffening, man, how he wished he could be engulfed in such an ass.
‘so harry, i suppose you’ll want to be coming with me, eh?’
his deep voice echoed through the stony hovel
’ ‘spect you cant wait to leave this orrible place’
he unbuckled his leather jacket slightly. harry stood staring, mesmerised at the enormous mans hairy body.
‘yes... but, sorry, who are you?’ he replied
the man laughed heartily.
‘who am i? aha ha ha. the names Shagrid, i knew yer dad very well before... well... before’
‘you knew my dad?’
‘oh aye! and a fine cock he had too. 14inches. reckon youve inherited that’ he said with a wink. harry blushed.
‘your father was one of the greatest faggots what ever lived, harry. second only to the legendary Dumblewhore, of course. and youre going to go to were he learned it all: ‘Hogfarts School Of Bitchcraft And Faggotry’. marvelous place...’
‘HE SHALL NOT BE GOING!’ shouted uncle virgin suddenly from across the room ‘I SHALL HAVE NO QUEEN OR FAIRY TEACHING ANY NEPHEW OF MINE HOW TO BE A... A...’
he couldnt scarcely bring himself to say the words
‘A HOMOSEXUAL!’
there was silence.
‘a... a what?’ said harry
shagrid smiled warmly
‘yer a faggot harry’
‘but no... i cant be a...?’
‘you ever felt your dick twitch while looking at a mans arse? ever wanted to suck on a long hard cock?’
harry didnt know what to say, the answer of course was yes
‘HE SHALL NOT BE GOING!’
shagrid suddenly got angry, he stood up and cast a smell in uncle vernons direction which made him pass out. aunt petunia screamed.
‘anyway lad, since its your birthday ive prepared a delicious cake for you’
he stood up and dropped his breeches suddenly, presenting the most grotesquely hairy pair of buttocks you could possibly imagine, thick wooly curls of dark fur covering every inch of his gigantic behind. harry stared on in awe, each cheek was literally twice the size of his head. a rich wizardly musk filled the room at its presentation, beads of sweat glistening on the damp curly fur.
what a horny sight, hed dreamed about this. harry was ready to dive in, only...
his cousin was wedged deep within the giants hairy arsecrack, squirming desperately for freedom. half of his body had already been engulfed. you could hear his muffled cries for help, but just barely.
‘um.. shagrid’ said harry, nervously,
‘whats wrong, dont you want to eat it?’ he said disappointingly, smacking his cheek. he ripped an especially juicy sounding fart whilst smiling, as if to entice him. dudley squealed pitifully as the anal flaps vibrated against him.
‘yes, i mean, its just’
the giant hadnt even realised
‘i mean, my cousin, hes...’
shagrid delved an enormous hairy hand inside his furry crack and began digging around
‘oy! what’re you doin there’
he pulled the terrified dudley out of his massive gaping hole with a horriple shlompfing sound and cast him aside, whimpering, on the floor; covered in ass-slime.
‘well, anyway. you can have your birthday present later’
PFFFFRRRAAAARRP!
‘right now we had better off to london; the very centre of faggotry in england. ‘spose you got yer letter about all the supplies youll need n that’
‘no actually, uncle vernon burned them all’
‘no worry, i have one here’
he handed it to harry, uncle vernon was still unconscious on the floor. petunia and dudley crouched terrified in the corner.
harry had never been to london, he was afraid. all hed ever known was life inside the cupboard.
he went outside with hagrid, and saw a badass motorcycle parked somehow on the rocky shore outside the building.
hed never seen a bike like it. it looked expensive, but all beat-up and rusty. like something from a junkyard, it didnt even look like it had a motor.
shagrid hoisted up his hefty bulk and straddled the vehicle and shuffled his pants down slightly, then gestured harry to climb aboard.
he did so, clambering up and clinging to the giants vast muscular back, his crotch nestled nicely between his cheeks.
shagrid produced an object something like a trumpet from inside his jacket, and inserted the end of it deep into his giant hole.
PPPPFFFFRARRRRP! PRRRP! PRRP!
he blasted a few farts, harry couldnt help but laugh.
‘got a light, son?’ asked the giant, in his deep gravelly voice
harry retried a lighter from his pocket and struck it
‘now hold on tight, lad’
as soon as it caught light, the blare of gas erupting from the end of the trumpet, the entire bike rose and began to soar through the air.
harry couldnt believe it.
as they flew high above the clouds, harry found himself snuggling deeper inside the warm sweaty crack, thickly forested with fur, pulling the giants jacket over his head, there he fell asleep...
0 notes
Text
Flower Pedals Hisoka x reader Part 2
Part 1
❤️♣️❤️♣️
As the day went on, Hisoka volunteered as a chaperone to your younger cousins. They wanted to play in the water while Hisoka sat under a coconut tree, sipping on a strawberry margarita. It would be pointless for an intoxicated man to be a chaperone but he is quite immune to heavy alcohol. Somehow, the sun’s beautiful reflection made Hisoka look like the man you slowly fell for. His job as a bodyguard for the most dangerous mafia in the country, his ability to speak French like a flipped switch, and of course his bulging muscles. Seeing him interact well with your cousins made him seem father-like. But why did he have to act so egotistical? Why couldn’t he be like the guys you saw on the Hallmark channel? Is being loved that hard to ask for? Then the hurtful incident earlier that day entered your mind once again. You didn’t want to break up with Hisoka but it was the only choice.
A tear ran down your face, something you hadn’t done in a while. A silent weep is something everyone needs to do once in a while but weeping in front of others can feel humiliating. Suddenly, you hear a knock on your door and someone enters without your permission. You quickly wiped your tears away and turned around quickly expecting it to be Hisoka. Instead, it was your beloved uncle smiling with a DVD in one hand and popcorn in the other but once he got a quick glimpse of your sad face, his smile disappeared. This time he didn’t run to your rescue but rather asked what’s wrong from a distance. He already knew it had to do with Hisoka but he was curious to hear more.
“Is it about your boyfriend?”
“Yes…”
“Did he hurt you?”
“Physically, no. Emotionally, yes. He has flirted with many people and disregards that I am there. He used to be all over me and now he acts as if I do not exist!”
“That’s horrible. But I have to break it to you. Some men like it when their significant others are jealous. It’s thrilling to them. If you dislike that, you should tell him.”
“I have! He will not listen to me!”
Your uncle grunted in anger and shook his head. He placed his index finger and thumb under his chin, thinking hard about something. Tears rolled from your eyes and felt like they could not stop.
“Come with me, darling.”
Following behind your uncle like a 5-year-old, he led the way to his newly renovated basement, and in that basement stood something that mimicked a lab. He removed a large blanket that covered a table full of glass test tubes and pink liquid. You were hopelessly confused as to why your uncle was smiling at his little creation.
“Uncle…what is all this?”
“Can you guess?”
“Sorry. I have no idea what it is.”
“It’s a love potion!”
You gasp and step back rather far from him. You frowned, not believing what your uncle has told you. Love potions were depicted and always fictional; they simply don’t exist. Hell, Cupid DOES NOT exist and yet he claims that he has made a love potion?! You have always known your uncle to be a wacky man but NOT THIS wacky! Not only did he have a small test tube of this love potion but he had at least 100 small bottles of it too!
“Uncle….don’t tell me…”
“Maybe Hisoka can take a shot of this…”
“U/N! No! That’s wrong!”
“Huh?”
“If he doesn’t love me anymore, I’ll break up with him. Plain and simple.”
“But y/n!-“
“No buts!”
Gosh, you sound like your aunt!
“Why do you have that anyway? I could have sworn you and auntie madly in love anyway.”
“We are….” He stopped talking for a brief moment as he made his way to the door. He did not want your aunt to overhear him speak or else she’d have his head.
“We’ve had a few tiffs lately and she is being distant. I was thinking of giving her this potion.”
“You can’t just…give her that! What if she’s allergic to any ingredient you put in there?”
“SHHH! It’s not a drug, ok darling? It’s essentially a cupid’s arrow in liquid form.”
“Oh yeah! And Santa Claus is real, right? Come on Unc. I’m going to sleep now.”
“Y/N wait! Wait!” Your uncle ran up the stairs after you to try and have an actual heart-to-heart conversation with you. In reality, The love potion wasn’t anything that would harm Hisoka or your auntie; it was something that everyone had. This “love potion” has many variants in the market already. It has its own juice, pop, and merchandise line. When people gave testimonies about them falling madly in love with their partners, you thought it was an absolute joke!
The day had reached 11 PM. The sun had set for the day and the bright stars shined brightly against the beach. Chrollo and the others had left hours ago probably forgetting that you and Hisoka had tagged along. As you cleared the dinner table, the love potion sat there, in its small slender glass frame. This had been extracted so it could be digested but still, you didn’t go anywhere near it.
“Don’t leave this unattended. If a person drinks too much, they’ll become a fool for you and as romantic as that sounds, it can be VERY overwhelming.”
As you turned the lights off downstairs, the front door barreled open. Your eyes had been adjusted to light for the last few hours; seeing in the dark was nearly impossible. But one thing is for sure, that infamous bubble gum small dashed towards your nostrils.
Hisoka.
The lights turned on once again and this time, they began to flicker a little. Hisoka’s piercing golden eyes were able to grab a hold of yours instantly. It felt like you were paralyzed with sudden fear and anger. So many emotions raged throughout your body; your brain sending many signals to the various parts of your body. Both of your cousins come running in, arms stuck out like airplanes zooming all through the living room. One flew underneath Hisoka’s legs and the other flew many times around you. Their sudden joy made you smile a little; they were so full of joy and hope…that is until they grow up.
“I like your boyfriend, y/n!”
“Yeah! He’s so fun! He taught me how to play Poker!”
“You what?!”
“Hey! She needs to know in case she needs to make some cash.”
“Ok, you two. Up to bed. Mom and Dad are waiting for you.”
Both of your cousins zoom into their rooms making loud airplane noises.
“I must admit, I see potential in those kids. They made their own marshmallows, mingled amongst people their age, and even reminded me when their bedtime was.”
He looked from the staircase to you. “Thank you for—“ he stopped as he looked at your angry face.
“—Are you still mad about earlier?”
“What do you think, jerk?”
“Would you stop playing hard to get? You haven’t given me a kiss today.” He bent down and puckered his lips, expecting you to respond. Instead, you turn the lights off leaving a kiss-less Hisoka in the dark. Hisoka stood in the middle of the dark living room beyond confused at your actions.
Finally! Alone at last. No one to interrupt your thoughts or sleep, just you in your auntie’s guest room. The bed was extra comfy! It was so fluffy that it almost made you get up and inside Hisoka to sleep with you.
“No. He needs to learn his lesson,” you thought to yourself. Besides, a non-married couple sleeping in the same bed together was NOT going to fly in this house. Before you knew it, your eyes were closed for what felt like 20 minutes but were actually 8 hours. The sun beamed through the curtains acting as your silent alarm clock. Stretching your muscles and yawing felt amazing after a good night’s sleep. Checking your phone was a reflex but feeling an odd source of shadows made you freeze. As you slowly turned around, Hisoka was laying in your bed, with his boxers on, smiling, and gawking at you; something he’d never done. You thought rubbing your eyes twice would make him go away, but he was still there in the flesh. Still angry about yesterday's encounter, you stare at him plainly.
“What in the world are you doing here, Hisoka?”
“To be with you, of course, my dear.” His tone was much softer; it felt as if he was barely moving his tongue. His lips slightly puckered as he spoke. Your boyfriend was always mysterious but it can be said that he was never predictable.
“What are you talking about?”
He scoots closer to you; his bare chest rubbing against your right arm. He places his left arm around your neck pulling you closer. So close that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. He took his index knuckle, placed it under your chin, and lifted.
“Oh, how I missed your face…the sound of your voice…my heart aches for you.”
You blink twice.
Am I dreaming? What is going on here?!
“Hisoka—“
He placed his index finger over your lips; his long nail gently scratches the top part. “Shhh….” Quickly but softly, Hisoka gives you a kiss but not just an ordinary kiss, one that is very breathtaking. His lips were much softer than you remember and a lot moister. He didn’t force anything; he gently moved his lips to make you more comfortable. What felt like a lifetime was truly only 10 seconds and on the 11th, he parted. Gazing into his golden eyes this time made your heart skip a beat. You remained silent, slightly afraid to say a word as he stared into your eyes deeply. This was not his blood-lust look at all but awfully similar. His eyes were half-lidded but they were soft, much softer than you had seen before. Just as you were about to say something, he gently grabs your face and begins to kiss you all around without remorse. This overwhelming amount of affection not only made you bluff but be utterly embarrassed if your aunt and uncle caught you two in this state. It’s more of the family “aww’ ing” than anything else.
“How did Hisoka suddenly do a 360 from last night?”
“Might as well enjoy this while it lasts.”
Hisoka continued to place soft kisses. He began to pepper your lower jaw with them, earning a slightly satisfied grunt from yourself. He then professed his love for you as he kissed you in between phrases. The magician himself was as red as an apple while you were a giggling mess. He moved his lips to another part of your body. His hand kisses felt amazing once more. He moved his way up your arm and to your shoulder.
“You smell terrific, kitten,” he said in a lower huskier voice.
You growl in response; something so embarrassing that you are happy your nosy little cousins did not hear.
“You’re so adorable, kitten. So delicate that I’d be afraid to touch. So beautiful like the colors and aroma omitting from a blossom tree.”
“I love you to the moon and back.”
Before Hisoka said another word, he placed his right hand where the bottom of your head and neck met. He gently caressed it as he pressed his forehead against yours. The soft feeling of his nose moving swiftly against yours felt like ecstasy. Nothing could ruin this moment.
“Hisoka’s a simp!”
Both of you jerked your heads to the door. Through the crack, you could see two curious pairs of eyes, staring into your room. Before Hisoka could leave the bed, you jump over him and march to the door.
“You know, it’s rude to stalk people in their bedrooms.”
“And? It’s rude for you to be staying the night in my beach house and not giving us any money. Hand it over sis.”
You close the door and jump back into bed with your new boyfriend. Hisoka practically had hearts in his eyes. It’s as if he saw no one but you.
Maybe he has changed….
Your uncle’s voice could be heard a distance away and that’s when it hit you.
“Don’t leave this unattended. If a person drinks too much, they’ll become a fool for you and as romantic as that sounds, it can be VERY overwhelming.”
Oh shit! Where is the potion?! No! It was left on the table last night!”
"Really, Unc? I think I can deal with this. After all, he is less insufferable. I’ve always wanted my beau back and I hope he remains this way…falling on his knees before me."
To be continued....
#hunter x hunter#hunter x hunter headcanons#hunter x 1999#hunter x meme#hunter x reader#hunter x 2011#hisoka morrow#hisoka x y/n#hisoka x reader#hisoka fluff#hxh#hxh 2011#hxh 1999#hxh reader#hunter x hunter imagines#hunter x hunter fanfiction#hisoka hcs#hisoka headcanons#hisoka#hisoka hunter x hunter#fluff
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Daughter of the Dog | 1
Fred Weasley x SirusBlacksDaughter!Reader
Summary: That fateful night that would wrongfully land him in Azkaban Sirius Black left his three-year-old daughter at the door of her godfather, Remus Lupin. Now as she enters her fifth year at Hogwarts she is a-fronted by her peers and their outward fear of her presence.
Warnings: bullying, cussing, slow burn relationship, bullying, asshole teachers (Snape.)
Word Count: 4.3k
A/N: If y’all like this I’ll continue on with this :)
chapter one, chapter two
“Remus you can’t make me go to school this year. Everyone there already hates me, and now that dad is all over the Daily Prophet, it’ll all just be worse,” you made your case to your godfather for the hundredth time this summer since your father had broken out of Azkaban.
“Y/n, you have friends who will have your back,” Remus said, he felt terrible, and he knew you were right, but he also knew how important it was for you to be at Hogwarts. “I’ll be there, and Dumbledore and McGonagall will make sure nothing happens.”
“Gryffindor’s aren’t as nice as you think they are,” you retorted. “And I do not have friends, that’s a joke. Everyone despises me, even some of my bloody professors hate me,” you were particularly referencing Snape who’d had it out for you since your name had been called for sorting your first year.
“That’s impossible, of course, you have friends, what about the twins?” he asked, and you ignored him. It was true that you were close with Fred and George, but you felt that virtually everyone other than those two Weasley’s hated you.
“I’m glad you, dad, and Uncle James were just so popular when you went to school, and everyone just bloody loved you, but it isn’t the same for me,” you said, finally deciding you were done with the argument and storming upstairs, you knew that Remus wasn’t going to budge about his decision, but you’d put up as much of a stink as you could, and being that September 1st was only a week away you figured your case had failed.
Remus let you storm out, you were fifteen, and he understood that you were going through a lot. Not only were you a teenager and dealing with all of the joys of puberty, but you were the daughter of an assumed murderer, which couldn’t make school much fun. He could only imagine the ways your peers used that to torment you. He couldn’t forget the minuscule things James and Sirius would agonize Severus Snape over when they had been in school. On top of all that, twelve years ago, your father had left you on Remus’ doorstep with a note on your forehead that read:
‘Peter rated out James and Lily, I’m going to Godrics Hollow, if anything happens, take care of Y/n, she doesn’t have anyone else.’
He was right, your mother had died at the hands of Lucius Malfoy before your first birthday, and her parents had died long ago, Sirius didn’t want you anywhere near his parents, neither Sirius nor your mother had living siblings, and Remus was your only named Godparent. You grew up with both of your parents, and all of your family ripped away from you. You had been left only with good memories of the man the world was trying to tell you was evil and a note you had used as evidence of his innocence.
Despite everything, Remus didn’t mind having you around in the least, you were a carbon copy of your parents, just an absolute firecracker, and he loved you just as much as your parents had. While he anticipated his situation to be a problem it wasn’t, as whenever necessary, Molly Weasley would take you in for however long Remus needed. However, your third year, you took a page out of your father’s book, and while at school, you learned how to become an animagus on your own, so that when you returned home that summer, you were able to stay with your godfather though all of his sessions, and help. Remus found as you grew up that you took care of him as much as he took care of you, he was eternally grateful to have you in his life. Now, with everything going on in your life and all the trauma you had ensued, he couldn’t blame you for lashing out. He just wished he could be of more help.
You didn’t argue with Remus about going to school again, and on August 31st, you begrudgingly packed up your trunk in anticipation of your journey to Hogwarts. You and Remus lived in a house you had inherited from your mother in Burford, West Oxfordshire, it was far enough outside town to be safe for Remus, and it was protected with old magic as it had been in your family for centuries. Being that it’s only over an hour-long drive to London, Remus usually drove you to King’s Cross, but since he was going with you to Hogwarts this year, you both took an early train to London, arriving in perfect time to catch the Hogwarts Express.
When you boarded the train, you split ways with Remus as you were due in the prefect compartment so that you could do your rounds. Prefect duty was another thing you were dreading this year, you were sure that no one would be willing to listen to you considering your situation, and you genuinely had no clue why Professor McGonagall wanted you as a prefect anyways.
During your round, you found that your assumptions were correct, no one would listen to you, and you only found yourself getting angry every time you noticed a copy of the Daily Prophet with your father’s mugshot on the cover. He hadn’t aided in the murder of your Uncle James and Aunt Lily, he hadn’t a reason to, James had been his best friend. Not only that, but nobody knew half the story you and Remus knew, but of course, no one wanted to listen to you, and the only evidence you had was the note he had left on your forehead, which was, of course, deemed unreliable. You were sure Peter was out there somewhere, and you were optimistic that if you could find him, you would be able to clear your father’s name, but you had no clue where you could start.
You past by the compartment Harry, Ron, and Hermione frequented to find your godfather sleeping in the corner, that man did love his naps, although you were curious why they had chosen to sit in a compartment with a sleeping professor in it, but you brushed it off. The three had a knack for making odd decisions that never failed to land them into trouble of some sort.
You continued walking down the corridor, keeping to yourself, not finding anyone to be breaking any severe rules. You had decided that as a prefect, your policy would be that if it wasn’t happening in front of you, you wouldn’t report it. After experiencing Percy Weasley’s tyrannical rain, the last thing you wanted was to subject other students to such tyranny. You remained in your thoughts till you passed by Draco Malfoy’s compartment, where the door was wide open.
“Oi! Black!” You heard Malfoy yell as you approached his compartment. “Surprised, they let you come this year considering your murderer father is loose.”
You elected to ignore him and continue walking, biting back the insults you wanted so badly to throw back.
“Or I guess you’re nothing like your father, more the chicken type like your pathetic moth-”
You swung around, resisting the urge the pull your wand out and land a nasty jinx on the prick, “You’re one to speak Malfoy, considering your father is a cowardly murderer who hides behind money and lies. Now, if you want to lose another twenty points from Slytherin before we even arrive at Hogwarts, I suggest you keep running your mouth,” you said without breaking a sweat, silence from Malfoy and his posse following. “I thought so,” you said before continuing on your round.
You made it to the end of the train and turned around to do your final walkthrough you intended to stop into the section Remus was in and see if he had awoken. As you walked down the corridor, you noted the cold fog that rolled alongside the train, the ride to Hogwarts was rarely this cold. As you approached the compartment door, the train came to a screeching halt, and you were thrown up against the door, startling its occupants. You hurried to your feet and entered as Harry Potter opened the door.
“What’s going on?” Ron Weasley asked. You stood back against the door as the lights in the train flickered out.
“I know just as much as you do,” you said, trying your best to push aside any fear.
From his seat, Harry was giving you a weird look. Meanwhile, Ron pressed himself against the window that had begun frosting.
“Ouch, Ron, that was my foot,” Hermione complained.
Ron ignored his clumsiness, concerned with whatever he saw outside the train, “There’s something moving out there.”
With that, the lights turned on and then off again, the train rocking and ice encapsulating the carriage. No longer trusting your own legs, you rushed to take a seat on the bench Harry and Remus were on, though you kept your distance, still grimly aware of the rumours that had been flying around the train regarding your father. Although, your thoughts were stopped as the train halted again, and your breath turned to ice.
“Bloody hell! What’s happening?” Ron cried.
All of your heads turned to the carriage’s door as a lanky robed creature with a hand like that of a skeleton’s slowly eased opened the door. As it approached, you could feel nothing but true sadness echo through your body and mind. It was a coldness you felt would never leave you. The thing you recognized as a dementor entered, looming off of the ground and ignoring everything but you and Harry. The dementor paused as if unsure of which one of you was worth its time. Discerning what was happening and uncertain of what else to do, you rose to your feet to act as a barrier between Harry and the dementor. As a result of your action, and your misery now clear to the creature, it started to feed off of you. At some point, you saw a blast of bright light, but the second it and the dementor disappeared, your fainted, falling to the floor.
“Y/n, Harry?” you heard Hermione’s voice as your eyes flickered open. “Professor are they going to be alright?”
You rose to a seated position to find yourself lying on the floor, Harry on the bench above you, Ron crunched in his corner, a very concerned Hermione Granger hovering over you, and Remus ready with a bit of chocolate as always.
“Here, eat this, it’ll help,” he said as he offered you and Harry the chocolate which you graciously took.
“What was that thing that came?” Harry asked.
“It was a dementor, one of the guards of Azkaban,” He explained to Harry before looking at you, “It’s gone now,” he assured before turning back to Harry to finish answering his question. “It was searching the train for Sirius Black.”
You swallowed your bite of the chocolate quite loudly, uncomfortable with the information at hand.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to have a little word with the driver,” Remus rose, leaving the chocolate bar with you. “Eat, you’ll feel better.” Remus assured Harry before leaving and heading to the front of the train.
You broke the chocolate bar in half and gave it to Harry, “It does help.”
“Harry fainted just after you did,” Hermione explained. You had quickly noticed before fainting that the dementor didn’t affect Ron or Hermione half as much as it had you and Harry.
“What exactly happened?” Harry asked as he took a bite of the chocolate.
“Well, after Y/n fainted, you went rigid, we thought you were having- well a fit or something,” Ron explained.
“Dementors feed on feelings of depression and despair,” you explained.
“Is that why-”
“You felt like you could never be happy again?” you finished Ron’s thought and nodded. “Exactly.”
“But someone was screaming,” Harry said, the memory alive in his eyes. “A woman.”
“No one was screaming, Harry,” said Hermione.
“I heard screaming too,” you said, looking over at him. A silence settled over the carriage once more, causing the reality of your parentage to come crashing over you yet again. You shakily rose to your feet, not exactly well just yet. “I should be going- prefect, duty- let me know if you need anything else.” And before anyone could protest, you were out of the compartment and walking back down the train corridor.
Before you could very much think about it, you entered Fred and George’s compartment, quite unsure of where else you might have been welcome.
“Y/n!” The twins chimed when you entered.
“Sit,” Fred started
“Yeah,” George said.
“We’ve got a question for you,” they finished together.
“A question, for me? Now, what would that be?” You asked as you squeezed onto the bench in between the two despite the empty one just across from you. Although, you assumed Lee Jordan had been sitting there and was just off to use the loo as his bag was up above that spot.
“We’ll show you, but you’ve got to promise us you won’t show anybody,” George said as he pulled something out of his pocket.
“Anybody,” Fred echoed.
“I won’t show anybody, promise,” You spoke in the same playfully serious tone as the twins while George placed a blank piece of folded parchment onto your lap.
Fred placed the tip of his wand onto the map but caught your eye and held eye contact with you as he said, “I solemnly swear I am up to no good,” winking at you as he finished.
Before you maroon lines and lettering unfurled, curling onto the parchment.
‘The Marauders Map’
A smile found its way onto your face as you realized what was before you. Your eyes lighting up as they followed the script that started to write out names you recognized instantly.
‘Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs are proud to present,’
Your smile widened, you knew exactly what this was. Remus had told you plenty of stories of his and your fathers’ school antics, and the Marauders Map was often mentioned.
“Now, Black,” said George.
“That smile seems to say something,” said Fred.
“We’ve got a feeling,” they continued in unison. “That you know who created this masterpiece.”
You looked up at the two of them, your smile not at all lost. “What’s it to you?” you asked. Of course, you knew, but you loved messing around with them.
“Pure curiosity,” Fred smirked.
“Even if I do know who Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are, why should I tell you two?” You asked.
“Because you looove Fred,” George said, and you shot him a glare that easily could have killed him right where he sat. “Because we’re your favorite people at Hogwarts?” He said, quick to edit his sentence.
“Alright, but I want you to let me in on all of your pranks this year. Think about the benefits of having a prefect on your side,” you said, then smoothly leaning forward to allow the twins to deliberate in peace. They caught on in a matter of seconds.
“She’s not wrong,” started Fred, and he rested back against the seat.
“And she’s quite smart,” continued George, following his twin.
“And she has information we want.”
“And you do love her,” George teased his twin.
“And we can trust her,” Fred added in an attempt to ignore George’s jab at his long-standing crush.
“Alright then,” the twins said in harmony, and you all resumed your previous positions. “Who is it?” They asked you.
“Peter Pettigrew,” you started. “Remus Lupin, James Potter,” they breathed in, obviously not having expected to hear the name of Harry’s dad. “And Sirius Black.” You said, your chest swelling with pride.
“Your dad!” started Fred excitedly
“Was a marauder?” They asked at once, and you nodded.
“Well, that makes you pranking royalty,” George said and mocked a bow.
“I would say it does, now I am excited to be working with you two gentlemen this year.”
“We are honored to be in your presence, oh Queen of the Pranks,” Fred got off of his seat and turned to give you a proper bow, prompting another giggle from you, which you didn’t notice Fred blush bright red.
“Boys we have some work to do,” you said, offering your hand as you had seen Queens do before to Fred. He took your hand and gently placed a kiss on it, this time causing a soft blush to rise to your cheeks.
Your train ride continued to be full of playful banter between the four of you, the boys full of questions about your dad’s time at Hogwarts, and you were excited to answer them as best you could. Although in the end, you couldn’t help but be entirely grateful that Fred and George hadn’t written you off along with the rest of the school, even more thankful that they hadn’t also written off your dad. When you arrived at the school, you shared a carriage with the twins, Lee Jordan, and Angelina Johnson, none of whom seemed bothered by your presence. It appeared for the moment that this year wouldn’t be too bad. You expected to resume your spot on the quidditch team as a chaser along with those before you, and the pranks you had already begun planning with the twins occupied your mind.
“Welcome! Welcome to another year at Hogwarts!” Dumbledore caught the school’s attention as he assumed his place at the post at the top of the hall. “I have a few things to say before we become befuddled by our excellent feast. First, I’m pleased to welcome Professor R. J. Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Good luck, you, Professor.”
At this, the twins turned their eyes from Dumbledore to you, clearly asking if that was the Lupin you had said to be Moony of the Marauders, to which you confirmed with one nod.
“Wicked,” they said in unison, and you winked at them.
“As some of you may know, Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher for many years, has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs. Fortunately, I’m delighted to announce that his place will be taken by none other than our own Rubeus Hagrid!”
You, along with few others who knew and appreciated Hagrid, applauded at this news as Hagrid rose from his seat and jovially waved at the school, although he nearly toppled the staff table, sending goblets over the side of the table.
“Finally, on a more disquieting note, at the request of the Ministry of Magic Hogwarts will, until further notice, play host to the Dementors of Azkaban. Now, whilst I’ve been assured until such a time as Sirius Black is captured.”
Whispers filled the Great Hall as you swallowed the nerves that rose in your throat as best you could
“Well we’ve got his daughter right over there. Why don’t we just give ’em her! She’s probably a murderer herself!” You heard a boy from the Slytherin table yell quite violently. His idea was supported by a few cheers from those around him and a girl who was sitting next to him following up.
“Yeah, how are we supposed to know she isn’t scheming to sneak in her murderous father to kill us all!” The girl yelled, and you could only feel yourself sinking into the bench as every Hogwarts student’s eyes were now on you.
“Oi! Pucey, watch it, or I’ll hex your ear off!” George quickly stood and yelled in your defense.
“That! Is quite enough!” Dumbledore boomed. “I will not have Miss Black questioned or judged for her being here. Anyone who wishes to contest this may bring it up directly with me.”
With that, Dumbledore continued on with his speech in particular regard to the presence of the dementors, but his words respecting you did nothing to ease the anxiety boiling in the pit of your stomach. At this point, you were wondering why you hadn’t followed in your mum’s steps and gone to Beauxbatons.
“Are you alright?” Fred asked, noting the color that had drained from your face.
“I’m fine,” you muttered.
Fred could tell you weren’t fine, and why should you be? He could feel the hostile looks coming from every corner of the room, some even coming from the professor’s table. He wanted to help in any way he could, and he knew that the most he could do is have your back for the time being.
When Dumbledore finally called this year’s feast to an end, you rose to your feet as Percy had asked you and Robert Greene, the other fifth year Gryffindor prefect, to walk the first years back to the common room.
You rose to your feet, “Your darling brother has decided I’ll be escorting the first years back to the common room, so I’ll see you back there after?” You honestly did not want to be left alone tonight and was hoping to spend more time with the twins.
“We’ll find a good spot by the fire,” George said, and you smiled at him, grateful.
You left and rounded up the first years, some of whom had no clue who you were and some who were clearly afraid of you and clung to the front of the line where Percy and Robert were. But you brushed it off. It wasn’t half as bad as Pucey calling you a murderer in front of the entire school. The walk didn’t last long, and Percy capitalized the whole thing to flaunt his power over the eleven-year-olds allowing you to remain silent and with your thoughts. You split when you made it to the common room, sure that Percy was so wrapped up in his spiel that he wouldn’t miss you.
“Black!” George wailed. “We’ve missed you dearly.”
“How could you dare to leave us for so long?” Fred cried, and you giggled at their antics, sitting on the couch next to Fred.
“I’m very, incredibly, sorry for the time I have spent away but do know that you were each on my heart and in my thoughts the entire time we were apart,” you joined in, causing Fred to laugh, which brought a shade of pink to your cheeks, recently you found how his laugh made the butterflies in your stomach ruffle their wings.
“Anyone else wanna know why Dumbledore’s let a murderer’s daughter live in our dorm?” you heard Seamus Finnigan say loudly enough for the entire common room to hear. “It makes me feel unsafe I don’t know about you.”
“Yeah if he comes to Hogwarts, this’ll be the first place he comes.”
You sharply rose to your feet and turned to face Finnigan, “Actually you’re right Finnigan, I’ve been in contact with my dad, who has been in Azkaban my entire life, planning to come to a school and kill a bunch of children. I am so so bummed you’ve found out my plan. So everyone keeps an eye open while you’re sleeping. I might just appear over your bed in the middle of the night, ready to murder you.”
As you were speaking, Fred and George stood to defend you. Meanwhile, Seamus’s face fell white with fear at your words.
“Anyways aren’t you meant to be a Gryffindor, Finnigan, aren’t you meant to be brave? Because speaking behind people’s backs is about the most cowardly thing someone can do,” you said, anger rising in you. Although, you did not notice Professor McGonagall enter as you were talking.
“She deserves to be here just as much as the rest of you,” Fred boomed to the now silent common room.
“Good evening, everyone,” McGonagall cut in. “I was planning to come up tonight to ensure that Miss Black was being respected as a peer and as a prefect although that clearly hasn’t happened,” she said, shooting a look at Seamus Finnigan. “As she just said, it is expected that you as Gryffindors conduct yourselves with bravery and with understanding for your peers. Should any of you feel that you do not have to listen to or that you are above Y/n because of her parentage, you can come to me for a detention. I will not permit any intolerance of her presence. Is that understood?”
A few people started slowly nodding, causing the rest of your housemates to nod in understanding of what Professor McGonagall had to say.
“Good, now I will be taking ten points from our house for Mr. Finnigan’s comments,” a groan fell over the room, “You shall also be meeting me for detention in my office tomorrow night at seven. However, ten points to Miss Black and ten points to Mr. Weasley for standing up for oneself and for one’s friends.” With that, Professor McGonagall left, leaving the Gryffindors in silence.
“Go about your nights,” Percy called to the house, and everyone dispersed, although you heard the drama start to circulate, no matter what McGonagall said, you knew that you would never escape the judgement of your peers.
“Merlin, and classes haven’t even started yet,” you huffed as you collapsed back onto the couch next to Fred.
“We’ve got your back, Y/n,” Fred said as he put a comforting hand on your shoulder.
“Promise,” you implored.
“Promise,” he assured.
chapter two
#Sirius Black's daughter#au#fred weasley#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley fanfiction#Sirius Black#Harry Potter#harry potter au#daughter of the dog
574 notes
·
View notes
Note
prompt: after their father died, the Nie bros were raised by Wen Ruohan, and are forced to survive in the backstabbing tangle of Nightless City politics.
Congratulations! You have also won the “I didn’t mean to write this much” fic prompt lottery, to the tune (again) of about 30k. I hope you enjoy!
Note: any fic warnings will be only on Ao3
-
Fire and Light (ao3) - part 1
“It’ll be all right,” Nie Mingjue murmured to Nie Huaisang, who was curled in his arms, shaking and terrified. The carriage rumbled and lurched around them, traveling down the long path to the Nightless City, where they would now be staying. “It’ll be all right. We’ll manage, somehow.”
He didn’t believe a word he said, of course. How could everything be all right?
Their father was dead. Murdered – it was rather unquestionable at this point. Wen Ruohan had broken his saber from a distance, driving him mad, and Nie Mingjue had known it was Wen Ruohan, but no one had believed him. No one had wanted to help, to intervene, to take action. Even at home, they’d just started resigning themselves to having to take care of Lao Nie as he died by inches when the murderer himself had shown up at the Unclean Realm to ‘help’ them in their moment of need.
Even half-mad, their father had tried to fight back.
Wen Ruohan had put him down like a rabid dog, wringing his neck and tossing him aside.
He’d then announced that Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang, now orphans, would be brought back to the Nightless City and taken into the Wen sect to be his wards, to be appropriately reeducated and brought up well. Brought up properly.
And as for the rest of the Nie sect –
At least they survived, Nie Mingjue reminded himself. Even if they have to work for the Wen sect, even if the sun banner flies in the Unclean Realm…at least they’re not dead.
At least Huaisang is with me.
He didn’t know what to expect when they arrived. He didn’t think it would be anything good.
-
Their rooms in the Nightless City were large, but cold.
They were wards of the great Sect Leader Wen, they were told when they arrived. That meant that they would be treated with respect, as if they were truly young masters of the Wen sect. They would get the best tutors, the best clothing, the best food and drink…they would be masters of the world, if only they bowed their heads and were obedient.
(If they were not obedient, they would be punished. The exact nature of that punishment remained – unspecified.)
“Are they going to hurt us?” Nie Huaisang whispered late at night, curled up in Nie Mingjue’s bed. He’d been hiding in his own, shaking and terrified, until Nie Mingjue had crept out to check on him, daring the unspecified punishment if it meant confirming his brother was all right. Obviously Nie Mingjue couldn’t leave him like that, so he’d brought him back. “Are they going to do to us what they did to a-Die?”
“No,” Nie Mingjue said, with moderate confidence. “They’re not. They’ve put in too much effort, made this all too public, to kill us now. Though I’m not ruling out the possibility that they might freeze us to death by accident. How is it so cold here? It’s south of Qinghe! The climate should be more temperate, not less! And have they never heard of tapestries?”
“Da-ge…”
“Don’t think I don’t feel those ice-blocks you call feet at my waist!”
Nie Huaisang giggled, as Nie Mingjue had intended. “You’re being silly, da-ge.”
Nie Mingjue pretended to huff angrily, tossing his head like a bull, and it made Nie Huaisang giggle again, the way it always had. “Fine, fine,” he grumbled. “I’ll keep you warm, I guess. It’s my duty as your da-ge, isn’t it?”
“What’s my duty?” Nie Huaisang wanted to know.
“To be my spoiled brat of a didi, of course,” Nie Mingjue said, the way he always did, but this time Nie Huaisang shook his head in denial.
“Now that we’re here,” he clarified, looking at Nie Mingjue with wide, trusting eyes. “What do you need me to do?”
Nie Mingjue knew, as Nie Huaisang did not, why their lives had been spared: it all lay in that word, reeducated. They would be indoctrinated into Wen sect beliefs, Wen sect customs, and by the time they were sent back to rule Qinghe as Wen Ruohan’s puppets, they would be more Wen than Nie. Even for him, it would be difficult to resist; for someone as young as Nie Huaisang, with his childish memories already slipping through his fingers like sand, it would be virtually impossible.
Asking him to resist would serve no purpose but to torment him when he inevitably failed.
“Be happy, didi,” he finally said, and pressed his lips to Nie Huaisang’s forehead. “Be happy as you can, as you always have. Don’t let them take away your smile.”
-
The next day, they were introduced to Wen Xu and Wen Chao, the actual young masters of Qishan, sons of Wen Ruohan. Wen Xu was a handful of years older than Nie Mingjue, eighteen to his nearly-fifteen, while Wen Chao was less than two years older than Nie Huaisang. Neither of them seemed happy to see them, scowls fixed firmly on their faces, sneers of disdain twisting their lips.
“Do you train the saber?” Wen Xu asked Nie Mingjue, who raised an eyebrow of ‘what do you think I train’ in return. “A boorish weapon, but then I suppose your ancestors were butchers.”
“I look forward to taking classes with you,” Nie Mingjue said, thinking to himself that one didn’t have to be especially clever to know the history the Nie sect proudly proclaimed at every turn. “They’re clearly very enriching.”
Wen Xu blinked at him and then turned his face away, his lips pressed together – whether in annoyance or, possibly, a sense of humor very deeply buried, it was difficult to tell.
“Father has expectations of you,” he finally said instead of responding to Nie Mingjue’s jibe, and there was no humor in his face now. “You’ll meet them, of course.”
Unspoken was that they couldn’t afford not to. Either of them.
Nie Mingjue lowered his head. His entire sect – all his cousins, aunts, uncles, whether surnamed Nie or not – were back in Qinghe, closely watched by Wen sect commanders. There was a sword to their throat, and therefore also to his.
He, too, could not afford to disappoint Wen Ruohan.
Wen Xu’s shoulders relaxed a little when he saw Nie Mingjue’s submission – he had clearly been charged with their care, and had just as clearly worried about his ability to fulfill his mission should they choose to rebel – and he nodded, more to himself than to them. “There’s classrooms, and training grounds,” he said. “I’ll show you where they are, as well as the dining room – there are set times for meals, and attendance is mandatory – and of course the necessaries. You don’t need more than that, at least to start.”
“Are there rules we should keep in mind?” Nie Mingjue asked, thinking about his brief visit to Gusu.
“Many,” Wen Xu said. His expression was stormy. “Some of them are even spoken aloud.”
-
“Da-ge! Da-ge!” Nie Huaisang ran up to him, lip quivering and eyes glistening wet with tears. It was a very sad, even heart-rending sight; it used to send Nie Mingjue into a frenzy to see him like that. But by now he’d learned better and he didn’t even blink, even though Wen Xu faltered, his sword twisting off in the middle of their spar as if he expected Nie Mingjue to lose focus at a key moment and injure himself. He wouldn’t, of course, and he instead used the moment to tap Wen Xu’s sword pointedly with Baxia, claiming the point. “Da-ge, I fell down again!”
“Excuse me,” Nie Mingjue said to Wen Xu, and turned to kneel before Nie Huaisang. “Did you, now?”
“Uh-huh!”
“And did you hurt yourself?”
“I did!” Nie Huaisang stuck his hand out. There was, maybe, a bruise on his wrist. If one squinted. It was probably just mud, actually. “It hurts awful, da-ge. Kiss it better?”
“That doesn’t really work,” Wen Chao scoffed, only a few steps behind Nie Huaisang.
“Shut up, it does,” Nie Huaisang shot back, temporarily forgetting that he was supposed to be pitiful, and turned back to Nie Mingjue. “Well, da-ge?”
Nie Mingjue nodded solemnly. “It’s my job,” he agreed, gathering Nie Huaisang up into his arms and pressing his lips to the ‘wound’, using the motion to infuse a little bit of spiritual energy as well. Not enough to actually make a difference, and certainly not enough to justify Nie Huaisang promptly declaring himself all better, but he liked to do it anyway – a little connection between them.
Wen Chao looked at them both in suspicion, his brow wrinkling. “That doesn’t really work,” he said again, but his voice was weaker this time, more questioning.
“It does too work,” Nie Huaisang announced. “Maybe if you’re really nice, I’ll let da-ge fix you up too next time you fall down.”
“I’m not going to fall down! I’m not a baby like you!”
“Everyone falls down sometimes. There’s nothing shameful about it,” Nie Mingjue said, and pointed to a bruise on his own face. “I myself fell down just a little while ago. Your brother helped. Several times.”
Wen Chao gaped at him, even as Nie Huaisang giggled.
“And Huaisang? You’re already very good at being a big baby and we all know it. You can stop practicing your skills at any time.”
Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes at him, still laughing.
Nie Mingjue ruffled his hair and sent them both away, Nie Huaisang in the lead and Wen Chao following after, the latter shooting strange looks back at Nie Mingjue over his shoulder.
“You’re too soft on him,” Wen Xu said from behind him, even as Nie Mingjue rose to his feet. “He won’t thank you for it, later.”
Nie Mingjue shrugged. “Later is later,” he said philosophically. “Now is now. Can you show me that move you did earlier, kicking out my feet? It was very well done.”
Wen Xu stared at him. “The one – where I knocked you to the ground?”
“That’s the one. Do it again, just slower; it’ll be hard for me to pick it up, otherwise.”
“You’re just asking – no, never mind. Don’t you care that I beat you with it?”
“…no?” Nie Mingjue hazarded. Was this some sort of weird Qishan Wen hang-up? “How am I supposed to learn if I don’t lose?”
“In training, like everyone else.”
“That’d only teach me how to win when everything goes right,” Nie Mingjue pointed out. “I want to learn how to win even when I’m losing. Here, you show me that and I’ll show you the trick I did this morning, with the disarming.”
Wen Xu tensed up. “I don’t need your tricks.”
I don’t need your pity, he meant, and Nie Mingjue didn’t understand him at all. Wen Xu was at home, his little brother safe, his sect secure – why would Nie Mingjue pity him?
“Consider it a favor to me, then,” Nie Mingjue said, thinking back to how his uncle used to handle the especially prickly tempers in their sect, which was never short on them. “My grasp on the move isn’t that good – teaching it to someone else is the best way for me to improve my own understanding.”
Wen Xu hesitated for a while, thinking it over as if he thought there was some sort trap in the offer – what trap it might be, Nie Mingjue wasn’t sure – but then he nodded.
“All right then,” he said arrogantly. “I won’t even count it as a favor. Consider it a gift, since you’re so new here.”
-
They were there for about a month by the time they met some other people their age.
It was enough time to start to get used to the monotony of it all. They woke up in the morning and were free until breakfast – Nie Mingjue often got in some extra saber training, Nie Huaisang usually slept in – at which point they would meet in the cold, miserable dining hall with enough space to fit two dozen people but which only ever had the four of them, being served by voiceless servants.
They would remain there for enough time to burn a stick of incense at minimum, half a shichen at the maximum, and then they would proceed to their classes. There would be alternating classes and training, all based on some mystifying schedule that seemed to change every day but which clearly had some sort of order based on the boredom with which the Wen heirs regarded it, but always lunch and dinner in the same cold dining room, all alone, same as ever.
It was therefore a surprise when they came down for breakfast and found two other children there: a pale-faced girl about Wen Chao’s age or a little older and a skinny, shy-looking boy closer to Nie Huaisang’s. They were wearing Wen colors, but that didn’t mean anything – so were the rest of them. Neither Nie Mingjue nor Nie Huaisang had been allowed to bring any of their Nie robes to the Nightless City other than the ones they’d been wearing, and those had been splattered with blood. Nie Mingjue had carefully preserved them and still intended on finding a time to go try to see if he could salvage them in the wash, just as soon as he figured out where the laundry was.
His own new robes, in garish Wen colors that made him feel sick every time he looked down, itched and pulled on his body when he moved – they were badly sized. It seemed the seamstresses of the Nightless City hadn’t been expecting someone of his size and shape, although the array of robes he’d found in the closet made him realize, with gut-churning nausea, that he had been expected, that Wen Ruohan had prepared in advance to receive his new wards long before he had committed the act of murder to obtain them.
He hadn’t complained about the discomfort of the badly sized clothing – he hadn’t dared – but Wen Xu had been irritable about it for days now. Based on his rants, it seemed like he suspected that someone had made the robes ill-fitting on purpose to restrict Nie Mingjue’s full range of motion, a scheme designed to make Nie Mingjue humiliate Wen Xu in front of his father when the right size clothing finally did come in.
Nie Mingjue didn’t understand the calculations Wen Xu made, the paranoia involved – who would do something like that? why? what would even be the point? – and he didn’t especially want to, either.
He looked at the other two children. The girl stared down at her food, not making eye contact, but the boy stole glances at him – perhaps he and Nie Huaisang were as much as of a surprise to them as they were to him.
“Good morning,” he said to them. “My brother and I are surnamed Nie. What about you?”
Wen Xu snorted loudly, rolling his eyes. “They’re Wen,” he said scathingly. “Our cousins, from one of collateral branches of the family; the ones in the mountains. Father has taken the two of them on as his wards on account of their unfortunate circumstances and promising talent.”
“Unfortunate circumstances?” Nie Huaisang wondered aloud, and Nie Mingjue sighed to himself at the sheer rudeness of the direct question. “What’s so unfortunate?”
“Our p-parents are dead,” the boy told him quietly, stuttering a little.
“Oh,” Nie Huaisang said. “Ours too.”
There was a moment of silence, the entire room disbelieving, and then Nie Mingjue started laughing.
The sound of his laughter verged on the hysterical, hurting his throat, but he couldn’t seem to stop. Not because it was funny, of course, it wasn’t funny, would never be funny, it was still raw and burning and painful. It probably would be for the rest of his undoubtedly short life. But news travelled fast in the cultivation world, and while he couldn’t say for sure, Nie Mingjue suspected he’d be hard pressed to find someone who hadn’t heard about Wen Ruohan murdering the old Nie sect leader and taking his children by now.
Judging by the horrified expressions on the Wen cousins’ faces, they definitely had, and the sheer awkwardness that paralyzed the entire room just made the entire thing pathetically – well, laughable.
“Da-ge!” Nie Huaisang hissed, cheeks turning red, but he was smiling a little, too, mostly out of the infectiousness of Nie Mingjue’s laughter. “Don’t embarrass me!”
Nie Mingjue leaned over and ruffled his hair. “Extra etiquette lessons for a week.”
“No!”
“Someone has to teach you to think before you speak,” Nie Mingjue said, still chuckling involuntarily with the aftereffects of his bout of inappropriate humor. “Not every thought that passes through your brain has to reach your tongue, you know. Consider holding some back. Cultivate an aura of mystery.”
Nie Huaisang grumbled and went back to picking at his food.
“Aren’t you going to punish him?” the girl asked suddenly. She was staring straight at Nie Mingjue. “You didn’t embarrass him. He embarrassed you.”
“I’m his older brother,” Nie Mingjue said with a shrug. “If he’s not embarrassed by me and I’m not mortified by him, something’s clearly wrong –”
“Da-ge!” Nie Huaisang wailed.
Nie Mingjue put some extra meat into his bowl to apologize for teasing, and Nie Huaisang subsided, making faces at him as he did.
“You’re weird,” Wen Chao announced.
Nie Mingjue didn’t think so, but all the Wens averted their eyes away from him as if they were silently agreeing, so maybe he was.
-
It turned out that the girl’s name was Wen Qing and the boy, her brother, was called Wen Ning.
“Don’t any of you have courtesy names?” Nie Mingjue asked, a little desperately, and it turned out that the Wen sect had the strange tradition of referring to people by their given names until they were properly acknowledged. Acknowledged as what wasn’t specified, but they all seemed to have a sense of definitiveness about it, as if expecting it to happen at some distant date.
Qinghe had the exact opposite tradition – given names were for immediate family only, sometimes a secret kept just to the parents, and everyone else went straight to using the courtesy name almost immediately after the first month ceremony.
“But you haven’t done anything by then,” Wen Ning said, worrying his lip with his teeth. Nie Huaisang had been devastated to discover that despite being small and thin as a stick, Wen Ning was exactly three weeks older than him – he’d been looking forward to calling someone didi for once, and now he was off sulking about finding himself the youngest yet again. Nie Mingjue was sure he’d get over it quickly. “Nothing impressive, nothing worthy of acclaim…what can a baby possibly do to deserve getting a name so early?”
“They were born, they are alive,” Nie Mingjue said. “What more do they need to do? Isn’t that worthy of recognition all on its own?”
He got strange looks again.
It turned out that Wen Qing was the talented one of the pair – she was training to be a doctor, and all her teachers spoke very highly of her.
“That’s wonderful,” Nie Mingjue said, and meant it. “Medical skills are a rare pearl that ought to be treasured; with the world always in need, there can never be too many doctors. I look forward to being treated by you in the future.”
Wen Qing blinked owlishly at him. It appeared that she was unaccustomed to praise.
“If you ever need someone to practice on, let me know,” he tried – he knew pretty words were far from his forte, and actions were better anyway – but that didn’t seem to help.
“I’m not good at anything,” Wen Ning volunteered, wringing his hands. “Jiejie refused to leave me at home by myself, but I’m not - good. At things.”
“Everyone is good at something,” Nie Mingjue assured him, the words coming much easier this time – he knew this particular routine well, given Nie Huaisang’s routinely poor physical performance in a sect that placed such a premium on it. “Some have strengths that are lauded by society, others merely ones that give color to it, but both are valuable and worthy of praise. You will find your talent, given time.”
Wen Ning appeared rather dazed by the concept. “But – what if I look for my talent and it turns out I really am no good at anything?”
“Then you’ll be good at being cared for,” Nie Mingjue said firmly. “Someone has to keep us older siblings in business with something to do.”
“Oh,” Wen Ning said, hugging himself until his face turned red, and then he ran away.
Nie Mingjue watched him go, feeling a little helpless. He hadn’t meant at all to be cruel, or condescending, or whatever it was that had so affected Wen Ning. Why was it, he wondered, that whenever he addressed those surnamed Wen, everything he did seemed to end up having the wrong reaction?
#mdzs#nie mingjue#nie huaisang#wen xu#wen chao#wen qing#wen ning#wen ruohan#my fic#my fics#this is the one that had a one-sentence summary#it was supposed to be short!#chuplayswithfire#fire and light
255 notes
·
View notes
Note
I have only recently got into the ace attorney fandom, and this story was the first story I read, and I feel spoiled! I absolutely loved every chapter, so I'm gonna word vomit here and tell you everything I love about this!
"She offers him a smile. It’s small, tentative, but it possesses a strength that makes a hidden part of him twist and burn with quiet envy." the first time we see nick's wish to be as strong as mia!
Considering the fact that nick didn't have any prominent figure in his life, it makes sense that he would look up to gregory so much
"Phoenix looks up, and starts walking towards Mia Fey
He doesn't stop for two years."
THE RELATIONSHIP THAT MIA AND NICK HAD WAS PRECIOUS AND DESERVES MORE THAN WHAT THE FANDOM GIVES THEM
"Larry’s arms wrap around him, squeezing almost too tight" People forget that Larry and Phoenix were good friends too, and Larry would help his best friend
"Nobody believed him, nobody but Mia" Maya is what Phoenix is to Mia and I adore that
"He wishes, desperately, that he’d said it while she was still alive. I loved you. For everything you did." Not you absolutely breaking my fucking heart
Also the first AA game felt unnatural in the sense of how seemingly unaffected Phoenix seemed at Mia's murder so I'm really glad you wrote it this way
"Expensive. Thoughtful. Too much." SHUT UP NICK YOU DESERVE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING
Also quick break to mention how I absolutely fucking love your writing style and i wish I was literally half as talented as you cuz the last time I read something that made me feel this multitude of emotions was ocean vuong. And I practically worship Ocean Vuong. So now I worship you too
"You're a stranger to me // When will I stop hoping?" I never really realised just how badly nick musta been hurt by good ol' bratworth before this fic, but now that I have read it, it would have hurt him so bad
"Is this why you never answered my letters? Because I was a reminder? Because it hurt too much?" Honestly what happened to miles and phoenix's friendship hurts so much because it should have never happened, and miles didn't deserve that.
"Maybe Miles Edgeworth is not the man he thought he’d be, either." yo when I tell you this hurt I mean this huRT
Fun fact! My birthday is on the same day as DL-6 anniversary. Gregory Edgeworth died on my birthday. I feel horrible now
"monster. You were nine years old and he's a monster. " No one has made me feel this much emotion for what happened to Miles in a single sentence other than you. I commend you for that
"I love you," he says quietly. He has never said those words to anyone, except for Dahlia Hawthorne.
Maya sniffs in his ear, crushing him tight. "I love you, too."
He has never heard them back.
PHOENIX HAS NEVER HEARD THE WORDS " I LOVE YOU" COME BACK TO HIM ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME WHY NOW I'M SAD
"Tell me everything. Every detail—" Miles is worried bout nick and why wouldn't he? gods you're so gay miles but tbf if I knew someone like nick irl i'd go ballistic too
"He determined the motive for his own assault...with amnesia. Naturally." My man's smart af and he is king
"Is that what she thinks of me? That I'm like that? That I don't care about who the bad guys really are?" Gumshoe noooo you're hella precious! Also this particular chapter was so well written! loved this soo much!
Also taking a minute to appreciate the pacing! Rarely do I ever come across an author who just hits that sweet spot of perfect pacing and you did! so thank you!
Alright so here are a few thoughts that I felt capcom needed to do which you did for us!
no. 1 - Address the trauma phoenix faced with not only dahlia but also with mia's death
no. 2 - Actually fucking flesh out a good relationship dynamic between larry and phoenix
no. 3 - actually! have! phoenix! be hurt! in bridge to turnabout! istg my man would not have dropped from a burning bridge to a freezing river only to have a cold
AUNT FRANZY AND PEARLS MAN!
THEY CUTE
ok so I have a LOT of feelings for bridge to turnabout and HOO BOY BUCKLE UP
So I always thought that in this fic, miles must have felt fucking awful! I mean he very clearly hates who he was and what that has led to but that must have been doubled over with this case! Phoenix would have died if not for mia and it would have been indirectly miles's fault. I think about that alot
Like he said that he very much regrets whatever he did as bratworth in the phone call with gumshoe but i don't think he anticipated this. poor edgeworth
Also I think this was the final nail in the coffin for miles. Phoenix forgave him, after all the fucked up shit miles did, and that made that man go "how is this guy so fucking compassionate awwwww shit I'm in fucking love with this idiotic brave man".
my main thoughts were "holy shit phoenix must have been feeling awful." like to learn that you were in love with a person who turned out to be a murderer but then not a murderer cuz everything you felt about that was real and just...... it must have hurt. He never fell in love with dahlia. it was iris, always. and WHAT ABOUT MILES DURING THIS!!! Like to learn that the man you love was falsely led to believe that he was in love with a person he rarely met and then learn that his ex who is not murderous might still be in love with him because "that was real. that part was real." like damn. people just gloss over this
also I feel terrible for iris F in the chat for iris lads.
Dahlia literally haunting that courtroom scene. I felt mia's power. I felt her desperation. I felt everything and I am once again in awe of the absolute power your writing holds.
also godsdamn pearls had to go through all that shit huh. also FRANMAYAAAAAA THANK YOUUUU
I too, am a hoe confused as to what I should feel towards diego.
Ok anyways we jump to disbarment now
"He just winks at her and says Maya has other talents, and if Mystic Maya overhears, she puffs up at him like the fish from the aquarium she saw once, the one with all the spikes and silly eyes."
you know what constantly amazes me? your ability to change tones so effortlessly. When writing from edgey's pov, the language is sophisticated. precise. when writing from pearly's pov your language is simplistic, child-like. from phoenix's pov it's natural. grounded
"She never knew anybody who made faces like him, growing up in Kurain, and it’s one of the things that makes him special." Yo phoenix is the most amazing uncle ever and we all know it ok he's brilliant
I'M RUNNING OUT OF CHARACTER LIMITS
PEARLY CALLING EDGEY AT FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE I'M SOFFFFTTTT
“I think I did something really bad." trucy baby no it's not your fault
pearl and trucy bonding supremacy. my girls would fuck shit up
"She’d meant to do this properly, one day." Thank you for giving importance to maya's feelings. thank you for treating her like a real human being. thank you
“Everything that happened...for what? It’s only gotten people hurt. Pearly. Our mother.” Me. Me." I felt so bad for maya here. I wish I could tell you in precise words about how this exact framing of the sentence is what broke me. "me. me" maya deserved more, but mia did all she could
"What do scared kids need? ...Food." not you breaking my godsdamn heart again. phoenix just knows what's it like being a helpless child, and he'll be damned if he ever lets anyone face that again
“‘Course, Pearls,” he says reflexively, before frowning. “What for?” reflexively. if every man in the world could be like phoenix wright then the world would be worthy of the gods
"Another one?" give it 2 years edgey she'll be your daughter too
"after countless hours creating the man’s living space in his mind from the background snatches he’d seen in the man’s ridiculous video calls." NOT ONLY DO THEY VC FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON BUT ALSO MILES ACTUALLY SPENDS TIME TRYING TO RECREATE HIS ROOM?? BECAUSE HE WOULD ONE DAY LIKE TO BE IN IT??? good gods these bitches gay. good for them
"because just as day is light and night is dark, Phoenix Wright is an honorable man." damn straight. you love to see it (it being a 27+ year old man pining for another 27+ year old man)
also hey miles! how do you feel about the fact that the man you love changed his fucking major and degrees halfway through college just so he could see you again only for you to be incredibly rude to him and make him end up in jail! (i bully edgeworth cuz i love him)
"Wright finishes, shrugging like it’s nothing, like his commitment and belief isn’t the most extraordinary thing that Miles has ever faced." it's more than pining at this point. it's incredible faith and trust. Miles had someone who cared about him even after all those years despite him having changed so drastically, ofc he would be surprised. Miles loves phoenix and so do i.
also HOT DAMN YOU WRITING IS JUST * MWAH *
Also the whole segment where they kiss is just !!!!! miles wants! it's beautiful! THEY'RE IN LOVEEE
receiving poisonous bottles which your ex tried to kill you with. My man can't get a break huh
Miles being chivalrous and protective and absolutely stealing my godsdamn heart (and phoenix's too)!
Klavier being the absolute king that he is we stan
The hostage situation section? gods miles must have been terrified.
Phoenix not being able to promise pearly that he'd always come back home and miles hearing it and like... ouch. my heart. you didn't need to do that (but i love your for it)
GODS THE CLIMAX WITH KRISTOPH WAS SOOO SATISFYING AND LIKE MY MAN PHOENIX REALLY PUNCHED THAT BITCH HUH
klavier baby I am so sorry
ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL!
and thus my comment ends. I believe I have almost used up all of my commenting limits and i leave with these few parting words : HOLY SHIT YOUR AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU!
also I made a playlist on spotify for this fic! here's the link : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3k8lRHiO8ZXQDLpiTUL7SN?si=fc3b35b4ab064867
gods this was long huh
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY....WHERE DO I BEGIN...THE FACT THAT YOU BROKE THE CHARACTER LIMIT ON AO3 AND MADE A PLAYLIST? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?
thank you so much for all the amazing things you said....i am crying on a Wednesday morning knowing my writing was appreciated this much. thank you!
34 notes
·
View notes
Note
fic ask time: 35, 4, 5, 6, 12, 16
(assume everything is going to be The Mandalorian/TBOBF-centric but I'm gonna be veering here and there, too)
4. Are there any writers that inspire you?
So I haven't had much brain to sit and read in a very, very long time; any writers I list are from Back Before Internet 2.0 And Adulting Ate My Life. Tolkien and Vonnegut always go on this list. There is also Stephen R. Lawhead who wrote an amazing series about the King Arthur legends called The Pendragon Cycle and also a fantasy trilogy called The Dragon King Saga. I tend to follow books and fics rather than writers so that's about it. Sad answer, I know.
5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?
Oh no I am the proud parent, I love all my children (except for everyone stuck in a locked collection because I am always torn between reasons for deleting and reasons for preserving). But when it comes down to it... I have to say it's The Suns because 1) I plotted a whole ass story and finished it, 2) I actually illustrated that sucker, and 3) I finished it. My biggest fear is writing a story that either collapses because the plot can't support it or never finishes because I burned out/was lured away by shiny. Is it the best fic? I'm not sure. But damn, I did that. I looked at my past self's failures and said, "Not today, Satan," and wrote a 1st draft, a 2nd draft, and illustrated every chapter of it.
And I want to do it again? JFC.
6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?
I love writing banter. I love writing characters bouncing off each other. Sometimes the sparks fly and they just speak to each other so easily and comfortably, and then I have to stop because it hurts just how easily they converse. Yeah, dinluke, I'm looking at you.
Also, I love plotting. I love wrangling all these threads and turning them into a cohesive whole. The hard part is actually writing the damn fucking thing.
12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.
*screams in threequelfic*
It's the little things, like a rando thought popping into my head after writing a whole scene about Luke telling Din about Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru and returning to the Lars homestead for the first time in years. What happens if Din does go back to Aq Vetina, and how do I make it worse?
And how do I make it about Din coming to terms with what it means to be a Mandalorian while Mandalore awaits, oh and also the New Republic is on the verge of war with a certain Chiss admiral...? The scale is stupid big which is why the only person we follow is Din Djarin, the extremely relatable Tired Adult with Main Character Syndrome. The plot comes in five parts and I wrote 2 parts for NaNo, and now I have to get off my ass, finish wrangling the rest of the plot, and get to writing how this Din's story ends.
16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?
*is a deer in the headlights*
What are tropes, fuck, what tropes are there, fuck, I don't know what tropes there are, fuckkkkkkkkkkk-
35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!
I have two dinluke plots burning holes in my gdocs. One is a Mummy AU because every fandom deserves at least 1 Mummy AU. Hell, I wrote one for Dragon Age and it's one of the best things I ever wrote.
It's simple. The Clone Wars happened but Not Like That, and Ani disappeared during a secret mission to discover a secret weapon to give the Republic the edge, except the Republic won anyway so whoopsie. Luke and Leia grow up knowing nothing about their father's fate so they decide to find out and their research and prying into records and pestering people who worked with their father eventually leads them (and their pilot/Leia's beau Han Solo and his bff Chewie) to Nevarro because it's the rumored resting place of the thing their father was looking for, a supposed living superweapon that fuels itself by eating the Force. Problem is, a Mandalorian sect called the Death Watch is guarding that resting place. Lucky for the twins, Nevarro's security forces apprehended a member of the Death Watch for acts of sabotage against the Republic's Moff Gideon's convoy. Leia can talk to Magistrate Greef Karga about releasing this Din Djarin into their custody and Luke can go talk to the Death Watch Mandalorian, and they can also try to figure out why the fuck Gideon is here.........
The other one proposes Inquisitor Luke who's tasked by Emperor Palpatine with tracking down the bounty hunter who took a job capturing and delivering a Jedi padawan but ran off with the bounty, and the Imperial credits and beskar Moff Gideon's agent paid him. It's his final test to prove... something or another, and boy does he fail hard. This idea also proposes Ben Kenobi survives and starts teaching Leia the ways of the Force, so we're running the fuck off with all these "What if?" premises. This one's the least likely to actually get written but hey it's fun to daydream about.
Ask me anything from this list of numbers!
#shirozora awkwardly responds to asks#shirozora writes#it's dinluke hours don't mind me#dinluke#skydalorian
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
