#anyway i was thinking whether i want to name this “the fall” or “the death” because y'know
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"The Fall of the Starmaker"
#I have been painting this for way too long#fuckin. rocks#anyway i was thinking whether i want to name this “the fall” or “the death” because y'know#the angel you knew is not me#but i decided to stick to the original idea#also the other title could be “the birth of crowley”#also i'm a very big fan of the concept that angels' wings burn during the fall and then grow back black#yall seem to like renaissance-like paintings don't ya?#i hope you will like this one#good omens#good omens fanart#fanart#good omens crowley#crowley#anthony j crowley#the starmaker#ineffable husbands#my art#snek blorbo
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hii could you do a jealous kate fic PLEASEEE
jealously is my middle name
summary: blowing off a project for your girlfriend and her jealously.
(678)
kate martin x reader
Being a business major meant being paired up with others often, and by the middle of freshman year, most people had a go-to partner. Your go-to partner was Violet, she was pretty and super funny.
By senior year, you and she had worked on countless projects together. You guys had recently been assigned a project that would be part of your final grade, wanting to finish it early, you guys had planned to meet up the following day to get a basic layout.
there was one problem though, your girlfriend. Kate had been making up excuses for you to stay home all day, whether it was her pretending to be sick, saying that you had all semester, or just saying she would miss you so much that she would "die an agonizing death."
needless to say, she didn't want you to go. "Kate, I need to go, seriously now." you separated yourself from her, knowing that the physical contact would make you fold.
"I don't know where your problem with me hanging out with Violet is coming from, but we need to get this work done." You and Kate were standing by the front door of your guys' shared apartment, she was leaning against the wall, still trying to bargain with you.
"It's not that I had something against her, I just don't understand why you guys have to meet up so often. I mean seriously, it's like every other day." She had pushed herself off the wall, her hands finding your waist as she now stands in front of you.
you squirm at her touch, the simple action causing your cheeks to flush. "because it's our final kate, it's not like it's optional." you looked up at her, she was 6'0, so it got hard to focus sometimes when you guys were standing so close together.
she nodded, a disappointed look on her face, but you quickly saw her eyes change as a thought popped into her head. She stared down at your lips for a second, and then quickly pulled you into a kiss.
you kiss back quickly, melting into it, a pout on your face as she pulls away. "kate, you can't just do that." she gives you a confused look, but you don't miss the smirk on her face.
"do what? I can't give my girlfriend a goodbye kiss as she leaves to go hang out with another girl?" you shake your head, realizing what Kate's big problem is with Violet all of a sudden.
"you're jealous." you smile, wrapping your arms around the back of her neck as she tries to pull you closer (if it was even possible)
"I- what?" the look on her face makes you laugh, her being unable to defend herself, giving you all the proof you need. "I am not jealous."
She narrows her eyes, the tips of her ears reddening at your accusations. "you see y/n, if I was jealous, then I would be trying to get you to stay home. I'm not doing that. Leave for all I care, te ll Violet I say hi or whatever." she bites the inside of her cheek, her hands falling to her sides and off your waist, trying to act nonchalant.
"mhm, okay then, see you later k." you smile, kissing her goodbye as you go to reach for the door you don't get far and you feel her hands grab your waist once again pulling you toward her. "okay but seriously babe do you really have to start it today? wait until tomorrow at least," the end of her sentence is muffled as she barries her head into your neck, her front pressed up against your back as your hand is still on the doorknob.
"not jealous my ass."
-
you had texted Violet that something had come up, and you were unable to meet her that day, you and kate had spent the rest of the night watching movies. (along with other things)
it wouldn't be the last time you had to blow someone off for kate.
okay chat, i like dont absolutely hate this but it def isnt my fav, so ill prob rewrite it.. i was also thinking of rewriting the other kate fic bc i just don't like how i left it. also how do we feel about me writing for women's hockey?? lord kk harvey is so fine. anyway chat im actually dying sos - kate
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His World, Your World
Pairing: Venti x gn!reader
Genre: Angst <3
Summary: He loves his nation and you just almost as much. For Mondstadt is his world and he'd do everything he could to protect it. Even if it costs his life. So when you have to choose between his death or his nation's, he begs you to choose his. But will you?
TW: Major character death (u), but nothing too graphic. English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are many grammar errors! <//3
Note: I've been dying to write something since last, last, last year/? but my lazy ass is stronger than me. This draft has been in here for a year. But oh, well, at least I write something now. I've always loved 'Which would he choose? You or the world?' trope and also inspired by a fanart I saw months ago; Venti hates you because you chose him over Mondstadt, but sadly I forgot their username-.
It's not a secret for anyone to know the fact that Mondstadt is Venti's home. It won't even be an overstatement to say that Mondstadt is his world.
For him loving it oh so much; even greater than he value his own life. For it was what his friends had always been wanted. For it was what his friends had been fight for.
He loves it dearly with all of his heart. He loves the people in it; his people, his children. He loves the freedom his nation has. And for it, he'll do anything he could to protect it. Even if the cost that he must pay is his life.
What to lose? I am but an archon that has long ago left my nation anyway. They'll be just alright without me, he thinks.
There are so many words that could describe Venti. He is a God. An Archon. An immortal being. A cheerful person that is allergic to cats. A drunkard bard. But never even in his mind that he'd ever could be described as a lover.
A lover who loves his partner passionately. A lover who cares so much about his partner's well-being. A lover who will go out of his way to comfort and cheer them whenever the world gets too mean towards them. A lover who vows to his partner that he'll protect them with everything he has.
Venti knows that he's rather friendly with all his acquaintances. Yet he never thought about even the possibility of him falling in love with someone, let alone a mere mortal being, for he is an archon.
At least that's what he thought. Until he met you.
You, who make his heart thump like crazy, feels like knocking hazardly in his chest. You, who make his day a bit more brighter just by getting a thought of your voice calling his name. You, who make him smile like a drunk man even when he hasn't chugged any bottle of Diluc's dandelion wine. And you, who make him addicted of your all.
He tried to shrug it off as his form of interest towards you. Nothing big, just a little crush that will wilt over time, he thought back then. But that little crush was and is still growing wildly every time he spends his day with you. Making a flower garden that he himself can't seem to get rid of, for he has gotten fond of these feelings.
He cherished every moment he has with you, whether it's just strolling around Windrise or visiting Diluc with Kaeya. Whether it's mundane things like joking and making a fool of himself just so he can hear a chorus of your laughter he so adore or a pretty night when he asks you to join him to stargazing in Starsnatch Cliff.
He loves you so much that he even drinks wine less just so he can spend more time with you. He loves you so much that he writes songs about you so that the world knows how amazing you are that even an archon fell head over heels for you.
He loves you and his nation just almost as much; with all of his heart, with everything that he has. That he'd sacrifice anything else if it means he could keep his nation and you safe.
So when you are faced with a big choice that had to be made, he pleads- no. He begs you to choose his doom.
While Venti is a lover who yearns nothing but to spend a lifetime with you, his love, he also is Barbatos, an archon of a nation. He couldn't imagine his life if you'd choose him over his nation, his world.
He begs and cries and sobs to you while clings like you are his lifeline.
Who you are to decline his pleas?
But while you understand his position, you couldn't help but feels like he's selfish. Oh so selfish to sacrifice himself so no one would die. Because while yes, everyone might just be alright, but- what about you?
You who had loved him so much, too much in fact, that you'd choose his life over yours, even over the world, for he was yours. You who had given him everything you had and gave in to his every whim and plea every single day without fail. You, who can't even think about your life without him and his laughter.
And Mondstadt will not last that long without him anyway, you tried to justify yourself in front of a mirror silently. Blank stare at your broken state reflection.
But the flashes of his dying heart and broken scream and tear-stained face of sorrow, because he lost his nation, make your stomach churn and tighten your chest that you can't draw even shallow breath. A realization hit you; He couldn't live without his nation, and vice versa.
That much is what you need to know to make the decision. You clean yourself as much as you can and go to make it.
Underneath the sunset glow and under the tree in windrise you two stare at each other deeply with an empty smiles, trying to pretend everything is alright.
"Are you really sure about this?"
"You promise you're gonna be happy?"
"You promise you're gonna be fine without me?"
He nods at every question you throw at him, even with a trembling smile and tears that threaten to fall, he stands his ground. He answers your questions like he knows what you'll choose after his pleas and begs. Because you'd never say no to him, for you love him too much.
He'd accepted his doom. Anything for his nation to be safe and for you to continue your life, even without him.
But then why?
Why is your form slumping against him in his embrace as if you don't have any strength to even hold it anymore?
Why are you rubbing his back softly and whispering apologies for what you've done?
Why are your breathing and your heart slowly fading away despite him holding you so tight against him?
Why is he screaming your name repeatedly with uncontrollable tears that fall while he tries to shake you awake when it should have been him who won't respond to yours?
Why is he can't do anything despite him being a God, an archon, to bring you back by his side?
Why would you trade your place in his stead as a sacrifice?
Venti doesn't understand.
Or rather, he doesn't want to. For he forgot that he knows a fact.
That while Mondstadt is his world, Venti was yours.
#venti x reader#venti angst#genshin x reader#genshin x you#venti x y/n#genshin venti#genshin#genshin angst#genshin impact#genshin imagines#genshin x reader angst#venti x you#venti x reader angst#genshin x y/n
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Hello could I ask for headcanons of kuroo, sakusa and suna with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous s/o ?
Absolutely love Haikyuu requests (≧◡≦) The boys are all so cute and dorky ♡
Characters: Kuroo | Sakusa | Suna x f! reader
TW: unchecked works
Kuroo Tetsuro
He calls you all the pretty names in the dictionary and beyond.
"Hello stunning flower of the galaxy”
Stares at you so much and smiles to himself wondering how is he so lucky.
When someone else stares at you, he’ll pull an arm around you and smirk at whoever’s staring, expression telling them I know, but she’s mine.
When you dress up and look extra pretty for him on date nights, he gets excited and tells you, “can’t wait to come home already~”
Also tells you he cant wait to have pretty babies with you. “Ahh I hope our kids take all your genes, cause you’re perfect”
He upkeeps himself well for you to, making sure he stays in shape and takes care of his skin.
Sometimes you laugh a little at him doing his brows. Once in awhile you’ll whine for him to accompany you awhile more and skip the gym.
“Baby, not everyone is effortlessly perfect like you” he pecks you on the lips.
Feels slightly in secure at random times. Especially when he’s stressed with other things.
But you remind him that “beauty is just something that is on the outside, it’s what inside that matters, Tetsu”
Stroke his hair, he’ll be ok in no time.
Sometimes YOU get insecure too, cause “what happens when I get old and I’m not longer pretty?”
Kuroo always has a brow lifted at you whenever you ask that question, “thank god, then I won’t have that much competitors anymore”
Sakusa Kiyoomi
He didnt like you because you were pretty in the first place. I feel like Sakusa would be the type of person that’s immune to looks.
He thinks you’re gorgeous because he’s madly in love with you.
It was only until he realise men staring at you or men asking for your number whenever you’re out, that he started to feel annoyed.
He’ll walk up to you and pull you flush to his body, giving the death stare to them.
“Don’t want any germs and viruses on you babe.”
If you’re there watching his games, and he catches people staring, he’ll be more annoyed. His spikes are harder and deadlier.
But he feels better when he hears you shout and cheer for him. He feels proud knowing that the most beautiful girl in the room only has eyes for him.
Likes it when you wear his jersey or anything shirt that shows his name to his game and he’ll try to get you vip seats so that you don’t have to squeeze with the crowd.
Well, this man doesn’t really care about what anyone else thinks so comments like “beauty and the beast” or “she is better off with” don’t really affect him. He wouldn’t have dated you if you were the type that only cared about looks.
Whether you were all dolled up or in your pjs he always found you drop dead gorgeous anyway.
Once in awhile he’ll say things like “not sure why do you bother to doll up when you’re already beautiful.”
He’s just a sweetheart.
Suna Rintaro
Can’t deny that the first time he saw you he was shocked. You really caught his attention with your beauty.
But as time went by he realised that you were not only pretty on the outside but even more beautiful on the inside.
He never really believed that you would fall for him since he felt he wasn’t really that good looking compared to others on his team but it seems that he had you falling head over heels for him.
He wasn’t bothered by people staring at you because he takes pride in watching those people’s faces when they realise this pretty girl belongs to him.
He loooooves it when you show him physical affection in public like holding onto his arms, hugging him, running towards him. He doesn’t show it on his face but the thrill he gets when he looks at other people’s face gets him on.
Of course when he sees that you’re being harrassed by other guys for like a picture or your number, he’ll just stroll up to you and pull you away.
He’s lazy to start an argument with dumb people but if really necessary you can expect the most sarcastic remarks from him.
Likes it when you wear a hoodie so he can pull the hood over your head so that “you don’t attract so much attention from those flies.” Gives you eskimo kisses when you’re in your hood hehe.
When you dress up for an occasion he blushes a little at how fucking beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have you.
Takes random photos of you and posts them with no caption.
You can never feel insecure about “what if I grow old and wrinkly and am no longer pretty” when you’re with Suna.
“Good lord I dont have to protect you from those pesky dudes anymore.”
#kuroo scenarios#kuroo imagine#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo tetsurou fluff#kuroo tetsuro imagine#kuroo tetsuro scenarios#sakusa kiyoomi x you#sakusa kiyoomi fluff#sakusa kyoomi x reader#sakusa kyoomi headcanons#sakusa headcanons#sakusa scenarios#suna rintaro headcanons#suna rintaro scenarios#suna x reader#suna rintaro x reader#suna rintaro imagine#suna rintaro fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu scenarios
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Neologism
For Ectober 2023 day 31: Ten Years! Last one for this year!
.
“Can you believe, Daniel, that it has already been ten years since we first met?” asked Vlad, topping off Danny’s wine glass.
“I can’t believe that I’m hanging out with you after you tried to dissect me like a laboratory frog,” said Danny. He was already a little tipsy. Vlad’d had a party earlier. A fancy one. One that Vlad had invited Danny and his family to, for reasons unknown, and which Danny had attended for reasons unknown. And now they were sitting on one of Vlad’s balconies. Why Vlad felt the need to have so many of the things when they could both fly and walk through walls, Danny would never understand.
“I never dissected you, my dear boy,” said Vlad, with an expansive gesture. A bit of wine spilled from his glass. He was drunk, too.
“As if you could,” said Danny with a snort. “I said you tried to dissect me. There’s a difference, cheesehead.”
“No, no,” said Vlad. “I never tried to dissect you.”
Danny rolled his eyes. “Are you splitting hairs over whether or not you wanted to vivisect or dissect me? Really? Really?”
“I’m not splitting hairs, I’m making a cogent distinction! And I never wanted to vivisect you, either.”
“What d’you call wanting to cut me up to figure out how I work, then?”
Vlad sniffed. “Vivisection is strictly for things that are alive. Dissection is for things that are not alive. We are both alive and dead, and therefore such an act would fall under neither category. Therefore, therefore, I came up with my own term.”
“What?” said Danny, drinking more wine. Clearly, he wasn’t drunk enough to make dealing with Vlad painless yet. If that was even possible. “Vladisection?” As much as Vlad mocked Danny’s father for his naming sensibilities (some of which were Mom’s fault, anyway), the names he came up with were much worse.
Danny was never going to let him live Dalv down. Seriously.
“Divisection!” said Vlad triumphantly.
Danny nearly choked on his wine.
“I considered hemisection and demisection, but hemisection is already taken.”
“By what?” asked Danny, phasing off the wine he’d spilled.
“Something to do with tooth surgery,” said Vlad, waving his hand. “Unimportant.”
“And demisection?”
Vlad ignored him. “Divi. A noble and little-used prefix, ideal for our purposes.”
“I don’t like how you’re lumping us together, there, Vladdie.”
“It accurately indicates that we are divided between two states, those of life and death.”
“I dunno that I feel all that divided. I think that’s always been a you thing,” lied Danny. He’d had his phases, back when he’d been a teenager. He’d gotten over it.
“And, in a stroke of genius–”
“Kinda think that word’s overused these days,” observed Danny.
“Let me speak Daniel. It’s no wonder you’re getting a ‘B’ in Introduction to Relativistic Astrophysics and General Relativity.”
“Y’know what, I’m impressed you can even say that with how drunk you are.” Danny sure wasn’t going to try. He already bit his tongue too often, now that his fangs had come in.
“As I was saying, in a stroke of genius, divisection also includes the first syllable from each of the terms that are so often misused in its place.” Vlad nodded sharply, and drained his wine glass. “I didn’t try to dissect or vivisect you, I wanted to divisect you.”
“I can’t tell if you’re serious or not,” said Danny.
“I’m dead–” Vlad hiccupped, “--deadly serious.”
“You’re embarrassing, that’s what you are,” said Danny. He leaned back to get a better look of the moon overhead. “I really, really don’t know why I’m hanging out with you. Divisection. Can’t believe you tried to cut me up, and now you’re calling it divisection. No respect.”
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Longggg Sherlock & Co plot rant. You have been warned.
I know the creator of Sherlock & Co. found the idea of writing Moriarty into the series intimidating. Plus, not knowing how to do Sherlock's "death" over a podcast and such. But I had an idea.
I love the idea of Professor Moriarty being some sort of hacker/online troll and MORIARTY is the name of a dark web corporation that is trying to hack into the Sherlock & Co. Company to send Sherlock puzzles/cases. You lot know those shady anon hackers on the dark web in films and certain websites? Like that.
I think it would be cool if at first Moriarty leaves hate/weird comments on John's podcasting sites and Watson just thinks it is some hater and thinks nothing of it and deletes the comments. He just grumbles about the comments being a continous thing.
Suddenly the comments stop. Watson isn't complaining about it, he is relieved by that because they were really annoying him. (no matter how many times Sherlock & Mariana told him to ignore them.)
Later on, Watson gets these emails from an unknown email of some shady guy (Moriarty) taunting Sherlock (and the rest of the company) and sending them on goose chase cases (Like the BBC did in that one episode with the phone calls, in a way?)
When Moriarty becomes the main centre of the podcast episodes, instead of Sherlock dying, he gets kidnapped by Moriarty's network. Watson and Mariana embark on and have to solve their most important case yet "Where is Sherlock Holmes?" This would give us some cool dynamics and more screentime between Watson and Mariana.
Watson starts to panick because he thinks he isn't like Sherlock and Sherlock did tell him that he would never be able to figure out stuff the way he could. Mariana is there to support and be there for him. Watson and Mariana have to channel their inner Sherlock Holmes to solve the case.
Idk whether I like the idea of Sherlock expecting this to happen and leave behind clues in some way. I do know though, that I like the idea of the following cases being them trying to work on finding Sherlock.
When they do, Sherlock is banged up and Sherlock tells him "I trusted that you would find me, Watson. You really are a persistent fellow."
And Watson just runs up and hugs him and Mariana joins in and they are just mother henning him like crazy.
Watson tells Sherlock "Don't do that to me again. Don't disappear on me again, you hear?"
And Sherlock is like "It's not like I was expecting to kidnapped, John. Besides, your podcast wouldn't last without me."
Watson just huffs and tells him "No, no, it wouldn't. Just come here," and then goes to hug him again.
Mariana pulls away from them both in realisation and she tells them "Boys, I don't mean to break up our moment, but we still do have one problem."
They both look at her and Sherlock nods and says "Moriarty. He's still out there."
I want it to be implied that they came face to face while Sherlock was kidnapped.
"He? Sherlock, you saw him?" Watson replies.
"Indeed, Watson and I think I know where he'll be waiting next."
*cue Sherlock & Co. End of episode music.*
Anyways, then we get to the episode of the Reichenbach fall, they have their final facedown. Sherlock doesn't die, but Moriarty does fall.
Watson would 100% be grumbling about how he can't pick up any audio over the sound of the falls.
Sherlock and Moriarty would begin fighting and Watson would start describing the scene in a panicked tone.
Sherlock calls over "Not helping, Watson!"
After more sounds of fighting and nervous ramblings from Watson. Sherlock & Moriarty turn the corner of the falls into a blind spot.
All Watson hears and sees is a cry and someone fall and crash into the water.
Watson panicks and shouts "SHERLOCK!" then dashes up to where they were fighting. Sherlock is sitting down and catching his breath.
Sherlock would probably make a smartarse comment like "Ah, John. Glad you make it. Help me up will you?"
"You're not dead."
"Clearly, or else we wouldn't be speaking. Now, would you please help me up?"
"Right, yeah." Watson helps him up.
"So, you, erm, you killed him?"
"I did. His baritsu was lacking, so his demise was inevitable."
"You're a clever, bugger, mate. Now, lift home?"
"Yes, of course."
I think it would be funny if the episode ended like this. They get home and Mariana starts mother-henning them both and she is scolding them both in Spanish about being more careful, how much she cares for them both, etc. Then she hugs them both.
Later on, we cut to them sitting in their chairs and talking about, well, everything.
"It's good to have you home, you know? I- well, Mariana and I both missed you."
"Mm. It's good to be home, Watson. I prefer the smell of our flat to the vile odour of where I was."
"Do you want to talk about it? Because, I, erm, am always here if you need a good talk."
"Not at the moment, Watson, but I will keep that in mind."
Long pause.
"So, Moriarty's network.. is it?-"
"Gone? Mm. No, but it will be taken care of."
"How? They are bloody HUGE, Sherlock. Shouldn't we, I don't know, contact Lestrade? Actually, the whole bloody Scotland Yard?"
"They're useless here, Watson. I'll leave this to the government."
"The government? Sherlock, we both know what they are. The government is not reliable in the slightest."
"Mm. The government you are discussing, yes. They are indeed unreliable, but in this instance I am discussing a WHO not a what."
"Friends in high places?"
"No. Much much worse."
"Oh, erm, an enemy then?"
"Mycroft is not an enemy, but certainly not a friend."
"What the devil is a 'Mycroft'?"
"My brother."
There's a long silence in the audio
"YOUR WHAT!?"
*Cue end of episode music*
I think this concept would be a cool way to be introduced to Mycroft, Watson realising his capibilities since meeting Sherlock, more screentime with Mariana and John's friendship, a way to do the podcast without killing Sherlock and having the time gap between Sherlock's "death" and resurrection, etc.
If you made it to the end of my Sherlock & Co plot concept ramble, good for you. Lol. Anyway, I just thought this would be a cool concept. The rant kinda blended into a fic, but oh well.
Do you lot like this idea? I thought it would be neat.
If John (or even the creator of Sherlock & Co) sees this ever, I will spontaneously combust. 😳
Enjoy my story/plot rant-
(Sorry for any typos, I am sick and half-asleep)
(I am so normal about them, I swear-)
#johnlock#johnklock#sherlock fandom#sherlock holmes#dr john watson#sherlock#john watson#sherlock x john#sherlock & co.#sherlock and co.#sherlock and john#sherlock and co#sherlock and watson#sherlock and co story ideas#plot#mycroft holmes#sherlock & co podcast#sherlock & co#jonklock#podlock#john watson x sherlock holmes#sherlock holmes x john watson#holmes x watson#holmes and watson#watson and holmes#john watson and sherlock holmes#professor moriarty#dr watson#dr watson x sherlock holmes#pod husbands
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doctor pt. 3
pairing: namor x fem! reader
summary: you take an opportunity despite the repercussions. namor’s determination to protect his people blinds him.
part one part two part four
word count: 6,939
tw: lots and lots of death. forced suicide (because of the talokanil sirens). the typically stuff. lots of angsty and sadness
a/n: i was listening to happiness is a butterfly while writing so this took a turn for sure... it took a hot minute but i hope you enjoy nonetheless!! i’m nervous ab this so pls let me know your honest opinions...it kind of took a turn
part one part two
IT REALLY ONLY TOOK ONE email to make your heart drop. It was a phone call and a series of texts, too, but it was the email that did it for you. Arial, Size 12 font, formal greeting, body paragraph, half-hearted thank you, polite goodbye. Signed Doctor Reynolds, Ph.D., with the name of your team and company. Message subject: Wakanda.
You read it with vigilant eyes, still hands resting on the metal of your laptop, blue light from the screen casting a cool glow onto your tired skin. The music in your earbuds continued to play, but the sound of The Weeknd wasn’t helping calm the way your heart’s steady beat began to pick up. The words on the email flashed out at you as if they were bolded: Wakanda, harvesting, vibranium, testing, trip. Trip?
“Hi, Doctor Reynolds,” you spoke casually into your telephone, despite your palms sweating around the handle of it. Twisting the coiled cord of it with your index finger, you said, “Yeah, I just got the email. I just had some questions...”
Long story short, a team of marine scientists had ventured into the pacific, delving into the deep seas in search of the vibranium you had found a little over a year ago. You had abandoned that research per Namor’s (tacit) request (more like demand), however, you had known that it was bound to be looked at at some point. The issue was that ships were now apparently being hijacked, their tracking machines being destroyed under water as well as large groups of scientists somehow falling off ship and into the waters to their tragic death. No one knew why.
Reynolds believed Wakanda had something to do with it. He believed that since they were well known for being the sole producers and protectors of all the Earth’s vibranium, he was under the impression that they were trying to stop the United States scientists from harvesting it. Which, you had thought to yourself, would be plausible considering the United States was notorious for taking things that weren’t necessarily theirs.
“Why are we getting involved?” you asked Reynold, gripping your scalp anxiously as you listened to Reynolds explain the situation. “It’s not like if we take a boat out there, we, somehow, will miraculously end up okay. If boats are being hijacked, then... oh, I don’t know...”
Reynold went on and on.
“Wait... you mean to tell me that you already booked it?” you shrilled. “Please excuse me if I’m stepping out of line here, but it’s very likely that our boat will just get hijacked, too. And besides, why do we care so much about vibranium, again? It doesn’t harm any marine life or ecosystems...”
Reynolds spewed a bunch of nonsensical answers, beating around the bush and never quite landing on the reason you know was true: getting money and getting power. Often the root of many of Reynolds’s aspirations.
“You’re more than welcome to deny the job,” Reynold says. “But I’ve decided that I want you on that boat. You’re a useful member of this team. Whether you like it or not, this could be very big.”
You clenched your jaw. “I’ll think about it.”
“You’ve got a week.”
You had only been home from Yucatán for one month. You had a wonderful four months of being with your sister and her family in the days and sneaking off with your man from the sea at night. You couldn’t have gotten closer to Namor; well, unless he took off his shorts and... well, you wouldn’t let him do it, anyways. He had asked. A few times. More than a few times. But for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. For starters, you weren’t on the pill and you were sure there wasn’t contraception under the sea (you asked if he had a condom one time, and he asked you what language that word was in. For someone who is immortal, he sure didn’t know a lot).
You felt like sleeping with him for real for real would make things realer. It made him more of a commitment, gave him more power. And you told yourself you wouldn’t let it happen unless you were absolutely sure that he deserved it. It was really hard to say no sometimes, though. He sure knew how to persuade you.
Accepting the job and getting on the damn boat would for sure cause an issue if Namor found out. You didn’t want to search for vibranium, especially knowing the damage it would do to Wakanda if the United States got access to such a resource, and to Talokan if the States got knowledge of their existence. But... Reynolds personally invited you, and it could do wonders for your career if it went well.
“I don’t see why not,” your sister said when you told her of your predicament the next day. “I mean, I understand the hesitation, especially if boats are being hijacked. But who knows, maybe they’ll get an Avenger and put them on board with you to keep you safe. Hopefully it’s Captain America.”
“As much as I’d love to have Sam Wilson on a boat with me for two weeks, I’m still not sure,” you groaned, plopping down onto your couch and opening up your laptop, the blue light hitting your face as you held your phone against your ear with your shoulder. Scrolling through the news, you said, “It just feels like a thing just for money. And, like, yeah, it is, but I... wait a second...”
You stopped scrolling, eyes casting across the headline of the latest CNN article, your lips falling apart. Wakanda’s King T’Challah dead at 41.
“Oh my gosh,” you breathed. Your sister asked you what it was on the other side of the phone, and you hastily forwarded the article to hear. She cursed, and both of you fell silent as you read. “Jesus Christ. I can’t go on that boat.”
---
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU won’t get on the boat?” asked Reynolds the followed week when you went into office. You shook your head, clenching your jaw.
“King T’Challah just died,” you told him matter-of-factly. “And if there really is more vibranium out there, and the States gets access to it, that’ll do a lot of damage to Wakanda.”
“We are not giving the States access to it,” Reynolds furrowed his brow, the hair of his grey mustache fluttering as he spoke. “We’re just figuring out how much of its in the water. It’s not our job to start harvesting it, that’s up to Archeology.”
“It doesn’t matter who does what,” you said feverishly. “We’re still helping do something that will eventually lead to bad things for Wakanda. And I don’t feel comfortable doing that, especially after their king just passed away.”
Reynolds narrowed his eyes at you, and said nothing before circling around to his desk and clicking the mouse of his computer. You blinked, watching him search around for something with a stern face. You waited a minute for him to speak, and when he didn’t, you cleared your throat.
“Sir..?”
“Look, L/N,” Reynolds looked at you from over his bifocals. “I understand where you stand on these more... well, political aspects of the job. But this is a big opportunity I’m offering you. If you decline, fine, but I’ll know that you’re not up to the task. I’ll give the job to Quade.”
You clenched your jaw, feeling something bubble in your stomach. Ugh, you thought. Quade. He was the worst. You knew it was wrong to take this job. Morally, it was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
“Okay,” you sighed defeatedly. “I’ll... I’ll do it.”
“Good,” Reynolds gave you a nod and stopped typing. He pressed the delete button and held it down. “I can get rid of this email to Quade then. We leave Friday. Back your bags and tell your family you love ‘em.”
---
UNDER THE THRASHING WAVES OF the Gulf of Mexico sat a king on his throne, his forearms resting on his strong, tensed thighs as he read a piece of torn paper. He had to put the paper under pieces of surface-dweller plastic so the pages didn’t fall apart under the water, but even still, the ink had smeared a bit. Nonetheless, Namor sat, his jaw clenched, and he read.
Namor, the letter read.
Hopefully this letter got to you all right-- my niece isn’t always too reliable. I’m writing to you in an attempt to explain myself so you don’t find out from other sources. Some people from my team will be sailing out into the Gulf with another team that’s mining for vibranium. I wanted to deny the job, but I need to take whatever opportunities they throw my way if I want to keep my head above water. I’m going to do my best to protect you and your people, but there’s only so much I can do. I’m sorry. Really, I am. If there’s anything I can do that you can think of (without totally tarnishing my reputation and/or getting fired), find a way to let me know, and I’ll do it. Again, I’m really sorry. I hope you can forgive me. Hopefully I’ll see you soon.
Sincerely Apologetically Love
From, Y/N
Namor gripped the paper tight between his calloused, jewelry covered hands. Lifting his head, he glanced up at his people, the civilization they had built together, the vibranium everyone wore. He glanced at the chest plate he wore, the cuffs around his arms, at the vibranium he wore. It was everything.
He clenched his jaw, bowing his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. He laid the paper down on his lap, squeezing his eyes shut to think.
“Namora!” he called out hastily, and after a little over a minute, the woman emerged into the space and walked up to him, standing before his throne. She knelt, opening up her palms to him in a greeting before standing up. “K'abéet in actualizaciones yóok'ol le láak' rastreador. Yaan in biin ta wéetel (I need updates on the next tracker. I’ll be going with you).”
---
THE DRIVE TO THE PORT was peaceful, palm trees swaying in the breeze and reminding you that, although it wasn’t Mexico, you were appreciative for the beauty and pleasantries of the place you lived in. Florida, with all of its ups and downs-- and you meant all of them-- was nice. The giant boat was astonishing once your Uber pulled up. People were hustling and bustling about the port, and you simply stared up at the giant ship, clutching the strap of your bag and admiring its beauty.
“Ah, Doctor L/N, good to see you. All packed?” asked Doctor Mishra, one of the men of the group who you actually liked to be around. You were thankful he was on the trip. “Boat’s giant, no?”
“Oh, yeah,” you whistled. “Y’know, I’ve never been on a boat like this.”
“I’ve been on a couple of cruises,” Doctor Mishra told you. “Wonderful vacations. However, we will not be waited on on this boat.”
“Fine with me,” you shrugged. “Do we just... go inside, or what?”
“Not sure,” he said. Smiling, he heaved his duffel bag over his shoulder and said, “Let’s find out!
Everything went smoothly for the first week and three days. All the men had to share rooms with at least one other person, and you were lucky enough that everyone agreed that you should have the single room. Your research seemed to be going fairly, however, you never caught a glimpse of the research of the others aside from Doctor Mishra, who you were doing a lot of your work with these days.
One evening, after a nice warm shower, you ventured out onto the deck of the ship, letting the ocean breeze cool your warm cheeks. You caught a glimpse, however, of Dr. Reynolds and Bernstein exchanging words on the deck, standing quite close and speaking under their breaths. You crept closer around the corner, trying to eavesdrop.
“We found it around thirty-five miles from the west tip of Cuba, so we’re thinking if we move closer towards Cancún and Yucatán and all that, we’ll find more,” Bernstein said quietly but firmly. Reynolds nodded his head in understanding.
“But what of the machines?” he asked. “The last one was destroyed, you said, signal lost?”
“Something’s hungry down there,” Bernstein shrugged. “Or however far down the vibranium is, it’s too deep for our computers. We need higher tech to harvest it.”
Your stomach turned. The team wasn’t supposed to be thinking about harvesting vibranium. Reynolds had told you that was up to Archaeology. You gulped and kept listening, fighting the urge to jump out and ask a million questions.
"I’m in contact with some people up north who’ve got new stuff that could work,” Reynolds scratched his white beard pensively. “They’ve had limited success too, but it could be helpful.”
“Us getting this vibranium could change the game,” Bernstein said emphatically. “I mean, can you imagine if the government realized we had this stuff? They’d pay us a lot of money to take it off our hands.”
“This is more than just money, Bernstein,” Reynolds said lowly. “If Wakanda found out that the States got hold of the one thing they’ve got on us? We’re back on top.”
“Holy shit,” Bernstein ran a hand through his oily blonde hair and grinned. “I went into the right profession, that’s for damn sure!”
“Yes, well, let’s just see what the other men have gathered in the past week and compare,” Reynolds told him. “Maybe there’s something right under our noses that we haven’t noticed.”
You clenched your jaw and stepped out from behind the corner. You squeezed a fist in one hand to prevent yourself from lashing out, and it wasn’t until you cleared your throat that the two men noticed you.
“Oh, L/N!” Reynolds gave a gasp of surprise and then a chuckle. “Wasn’t expecting you to be out so late. Isn’t it past your bedtime?”
“I don’t have a bedtime, sir, I’m a grown woman,” you said firmly. “But you’ve got about twenty years on me, so I’m confused as to why you’re not in bed either.”
Bernstein and Reynolds shared a glance.
“I’m also confused about all this I’m hearing about harvesting vibranium,” you said, not saying anything for a heartbeat to give them room to defend themselves. “I didn’t think that was what we were doing here. I also thought that as a team we were supposed to be, I don’t know, working together?”
“Look, L/N, you’ve got your own research, and so do we. We chose not to include you because you, for some reason, seemed very against delving deeper into this vibranium business,” Reynolds explained in a slow and calm voice as if he were speaking to a child. “This could be very lucrative for us and helpful for American forces.”
“You’re hiding shit from everyone,” you spat.
“No, I’m not,” Reynolds sneered. “Just from you.”
As if someone had pressed a button, all of a sudden Reynolds and Bernstein stood upright, their faces blank, eyes fogged over. You furrowed your brow and snapped in front of the former's face. A song began to echo the ship, as if someone was playing it on the loudspeakers, and you glanced around as if to see if someone else noticed it.
You glanced up to the top deck, where a man stood next to a large scope. He was walking very uniformly, his face blank as well, and you watched as he continued to walk and walk and walk until--
You screamed bloody murder. The man walked until he reached the railing, where he hopped over it and simply threw himself off the ledge and into the depths of the ocean below. Breathing heavily, you whipped yourself around and watched as Reynolds, mesmerized by the song, began to walk towards the railing, Bernstein at his heels.
“No!” you cried, grabbing ahold of Reynolds’s arm to hold him back; he thrashed himself out of your grasp and climbed over the railing. You grappled at the back of his shirt, trying to tug him back, but he too, like a rag doll, plummeted into the crashing waves below. Bernstein was looming closer to the railing, and you wrapped your arms around his torso to hold him back.
You kept seeing men out of the corner of your eyes walk over the edge and throw themselves into the sea. You hadn’t realized it, but tears were pricking out of the corners of your eyes as you mustered up all your strength to try and hold Bernstein back from the edge.
“Snap-- out-- of-- it!” you cried, and brought one of your hands to slap him clean across the face. To no avail. Balling up a fist, you let go of him and stood between him and the railing; you wound up your arm and socked him clean across the face, to which he toppled onto his back. Blood was now seeping from his nose, but at least he wasn’t walking to his death.
You squinted out into the sea, to try and figure out the source of the sound, but all you saw was the water and the midnight blue horizon. A groan from behind you alerted your attention; you dropped to your knees, shaking Bernstein awake.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you cried. He wiped his nose, the blood staining the sleeve of his white shirt.
“You fuckin’ punched me!” Bernstein muffled, sitting upright and punching you straight across the face, hard enough for you to topple back onto the deck. He got to his feet, and as if nothing had happened, his face became blank again. You groaned, sitting upright and clutching your bleeding nose as he walked towards the railing again.
“No, no-- stop!” you called out, getting to your feet, but it was too late; Bernstein climbed over the railing and fell face first into the ocean. You saw the tail of a dolphin in the distance as his body disappeared, and you squeezed your eyes shut, covering your face with your hands, blood from your nose seeping through your fingers. “Jesus christ, what the fuck? What the actual fuck? What the fuck is happening?”
SPLASH! You drew your hands away from your face, and to your horror, saw the fins of sharks circling around the boat, the occasional tale of a dolphin, or the splashes of other marine life you couldn’t identify from so far away. The beating of your heart was so fast that at this rate you were sure you could die of a heart attack. Unable to take your eyes away from the sea of troubles below you, you were terrified to see the body of a whale rise close enough to the surface for you to see, and what shocked you the most was the outline of a person riding on its back. Your jaw dropped.
Without a second thought, you sprinted towards the hatch that led to the inside of the ship. You ran at top speed across the creaky wooden floor until you reached your room, grabbing your bag that held your journal, your phone, your laptop, and your camera. A knock at your door made you jump and almost yelp.
“It’s just me,” it was Doctor Mishra, his hair disheveled and his eyes wild. He had on a large pair of earmuffs. “Are you okay? Your nose is bleeding!”
“No!” you practically screeched. “I just fucking watched the entire crew kill themselves!”
“Everyone?”
“Well, I don’t know about everyone,” you stammered, shoving anything and everything important to you into your bag. You grabbed the printed map of the gulf, with annotations and drawings and other kinds of markings, and rolled it quickly before shoving it into your bag. Picking up your taser, you blinked at it before shoving it into your bag, too. “Bernstein and Reynolds are gone, same with the rest of the crew on the deck, and the man from the mast, and the--”
“Slow down,” Mishra said to you, squatting down next to you and handing you his handkerchief for your nose. “There’s almost no signal, and the only ways we can send out an S.O.S. are either from the red flare device on the mast, or by the radio in the control room.”
“Okay,” you breathed, putting the straps of your bag over your shoulders and tightening it so it wouldn’t fall off, wiping your nose despite it continuing to bleed. “But... what if we get all weird too and try and walk off?”
“Here,” Mishra fumbled with something in his pocket: wired earbuds. “Plug them into your phone and blast some music. Should do the trick. My earmuffs worked pretty well.”
You grabbed the earbuds from him, untangling them before plugging them into your ears. Grabbing your phone, you shuffled a playlist and turned up the volume. Mishra beckoned you to follow him out the door, to which you complied, Tyler, the Creator’s “ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?” blaring from the earbuds. Not the time, you thought, but you couldn’t afford to stand there a pick a good song for the occasion.
“I’ll head up to the mast,” you offered. “The control room is safer for you since it’s pretty contained.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “The mast is insanely high, you could get hurt.”
You clenched your jaw. “It’s fine. I’ll send out the flares. Good luck, okay?”
“Take care of yourself,” Mishra told you firmly. “Meet back on the deck in ten minutes or so.”
You nodded and turned, sprinting back up onto the deck and opening the hatch. There were people on the deck, with beautiful feathered headdresses and jaded armor. You stared at them for a moment, but before they could see you, you ran behind one of the poles, trying to focus on getting up to the mast. The ladder was on the other side of the deck, leading you to inch your way around the center portion until you could find the ladder with your eyes.
There were tons of the soldiers across the deck, running around, whispering to one another. They all held massive, sharp spears, the jade and gold glinting under the pale moonlight. It reminded you of Namor, you thought, until you realized it was possible they were his people. As much as you trusted him, you didn’t trust the spears; you weren’t about to risk your life, and even Doctor Mishra’s life, just to reunite with the man from the sea.
You bolted towards the ladder, grabbing the bars and climbing up it with no hesitation. Someone from below shouted something. You didn’t look down, moving at a speed you were sure you had never moved at before, until you reached the top level where the light machine and the red flare device were located. You practically threw yourself onto the bright red button, pressing it over and over again so tens of red flares shot up into the night sky.
Your earbuds were playing Childish Gambino, now, and despite it being one of your favorite songs of all time, you couldn’t find it in you to enjoy it. You kept pressing the button, red flare after red flare firing into the sky. People were shouting from below you, in a language you couldn’t decipher, especially with “Me and Your Mama” blasting into your ears.
You took a brief moment to glance at the deck, peering over the railing. Someone was climbing up the mast, the gold of their armor glinting under the light of the mast. You panicked, unzipped your bag and grabbed your taser. You ran to the other side of the table-like desk in the center of the platform and crouched behind it.
Feet adorned in golden-plated sandals planted onto the platform. You swallowed your breath, holding out your taser for when they rounded the desk. You cursed your earbuds; you were sure they could hear the Childish Gambino blasting from them. When they rounded the corner, you shot up and stuck out the taster onto their stomach, to which they convulsed and stumbled backwards. You pressed the red button a handful more times, but before you could act again, you felt a hand grab you by the neck and heard the cling of a blade being unsheathed.
“Suelta a arma (Drop your weapon),” the person holding you said firmly, to which you shakily dropped your taster. It clattered onto the wooden platform. The soldier let you go, your back towards the ladder, and with the shear pointed right at you, commanded, “Péeksik (Move).”
You couldn’t understand them, but you had enough context clues to understand what the soldier wanted. You caught a long enough glimpse at them to see a strange mask over their mouth and nose, water splashing around inside of it. You wanted to look for longer, but they nudged you with the butt of their spear, so without protest, you climbed down the ladder.
By the time you reached the floor of the deck, you barely had a moment of freedom before the soldier grabbed you again, holding you by the shoulders with their spear at your neck. They spoke to another soldier, the blade of the spear dangerously close to your skin.
One of the soldiers wore a tall, orange-feathered headdress, with the same feathers donned around the necklace she wore that looked like it was made out of something woven. The soldier holding you shoved you forward, hard enough that you stumbled over your feet and almost fell flat on your face. As soon as you were released, the other soldiers circled you, spears pointed.
“Vacíe u póoj (Empty your bag),” she commanded. You blinked, not understand. At your silence, one of the soldiers poked your bag with their spear, nudging it off. You reluctantly shook it off of your shoulders, letting it fall onto the deck. “Je'e le! (Open it!)”
Another soldier poked it with your spear before another nudged you forwards. Lowering to your knees, you grabbed the back and opened the zipper pocket so the contents of your bag was visible. One of the soldiers snatched it from you, turning it upside down and shaking it so everything fell out; your map tumbled to the ground, along with your computer, camera, and journal. Cringing at the sound of your computer and camera dropping onto the deck, you made a move to stand, but the feeling of a spear pressed against the back of your neck kept you down.
The woman in the headdress, who you assumed was in charge, bent down and picked up the map, unrolling it. She ran her finger where you had outlined the hypoxic zone in red pen, the notes near the southern border of the United States, as well as the circle around your sister’s town in Yucatán.
“Talokan ma' u dibujado (Talokan is not drawn),” she said. In broken English, she read the notes and pronounced. “Hi-gh con-cen-tra-ti-on.”
You gulped, watching them interact with one another. The one behind you holding the spear to your neck said, “Ba'ax le kíins wa ma'? (Do we kill her, or not?)”
“Le ajawo' tu ya'alaj ma' u testigos (The king said no witnesses),” another soldier proclaimed. “Kíisa (Kill her).”
“Pa'atik! (Wait!)” one exclaimed, leaning down and grabbing your wrist. “Ilawil u x-oron (Look at her wrist).”
“Lelo' u Talokan (That is from Talokan),” another said, to which gasps and murmurs spun around the circle of soldiers. You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment; the word Talokan was circling your brain. Namor. These were his people. Where was he? Why were they on your ship, killing your team? About to kill you?
“K'aaba' ti' le ajawo' (Call the king),” the woman said, to which one of the soldiers held up a large conch shell. After a beat of silence, the soldier brought it up to their lips and blew through it, a loud clarion call resounding through the air. After the call ended, the woman announced to the soldiers, “Leti' jach le ts'ook viva (She is the last alive).”
“Le ajawo' yéetel complacido (The king will be pleased),” a soldier said.
“Y/N!” came someone's voice from above. Your heart lurched when you saw Doctor Mishra from atop one of the platforms where the radio room was. You internally cursed him for revealing his presence to the soldiers. The soldiers shouted something, and one moved to go after Mishra, but before he could, a figure shot through the air towards where the doctor was.
The figure landed on the platform next to Mishra, who, before he could run away, was struck in the head with the butt of a spear; Mishra fell to the floor, alive, but unconscious. The figure flew up into the air, circled the mast, before soaring towards where you and the soldiers were, landing with a hand on the deck.
The soldiers knelt, joining their hands at the wrists and opening their palms to him. The figure moved, the wings at his angles fluttering as he stood up. Your breath caught in your throat when he set eyes on you, breaking through the circle of soldiers to stand before your kneeling figure.
“You,” was all you could breathe when Namor stared down at you, his spear gripped in his hand. His hair was slicked back with the water of the ocean, his eyes narrowed in one of the deadliest glares you had ever witnessed. A chill went up your spine.
“I gave you that because I trusted you,” Namor poked the bracelet on your wrist with the tip of his spear. Your hands were shaking now, tears pearling at the corners of your eyes. “And here you are... harvesting vibranium. Just as you promised me you would not do.”
“I... you didn’t read my letter?” you stammered out. He was scaring you. There were drops of saltwater on his eyelashes, those ebony eyes of his making you simultaneously melt with adoration and freeze with fear. “I thought... they... they lied to me, they said we were just finding the concentration, I didn’t know they were harvesting it here--”
“You lied to me,” Namor said slowly with composure. His jaw clenched. Something in his eyes changed. “You tricked me.”
“I didn’t,” you were crying now. “I didn’t. I promise, K’uk’ulkan--”
“You do not deserve to call me that,” he gave a dry scoff. He gulped. He wasn’t just angry, you saw; he was upset. Devastated. “You are now an enemy.”
“Look at the map!” you urged him, scrambling to find it. “Look at my notes! I didn’t-- it’s not even near Yucatán, it’s-- it’s just where the concentration was higher, I swear--”
“High Concentration,” the woman from before said, handing the map to Namor. He took it, unrolling it and eyeing the area you had outlined.
“What is this?” Namor asked you, not meeting your eyes. You sniffed, swallowing the frog in your throat.
“It’s-- it’s just where I found the high concentration of vibranium in the first place. I thought we were just supposed to go back to that area, in the northern Gulf, to test the concentration, and that’s what I thought we were researching! That’s what my-- that’s my project. My work.”
“Your project,” Namor repeated.
“Remember?” you practically begged. “Remember how I spent all that time working and you stopped me from getting data? That’s what I was researching! That’s what I’m doing here! I didn’t know that fucking Bernstein and Reynolds were trying to harvest vibranium! I had no idea!”
“How am I supposed to believe you?”
You could barely catch your breath. “I-- I don’t know. My map, my computer, my journal, my goddamn phone, everything’s in there. Take it all, I don’t care. Read everything I’ve ever written, you’ll see!”
Namor bent down and picked up your journal, flipping open to the first page and starting to read. Your knees were starting to hurt from how long you’ve been sitting on them. The silence was deafening, watching him flip through the journal. He read every single word, and you tried to calm your breathing as you watched his face change as he continued to flip.
When he reached the last page, he closed the journal and held it by his side. His glare was gone; he was frowning now, refusing to look at your face. Glancing up at the soldiers, he lifted a hand, to which they lowered their spears away from you and backed up. Namor extended a hand to you as if to help you to your feet. You eyed it hesitantly, but seeing the grimace on his face, you took it and stood.
He didn’t say anything. It was like he couldn’t. He avoided your eyes, and without a word, he turned around towards the railing, resting his forearms on it with a sigh. You were still shaking, but as your fear subsided, you felt the anger bubbling up in your stomach. A drop of blood fell from your nose, touching your top lip.
“You killed everyone,” you muttered, wiping the blood off of your lip. He turned his head and said nothing. “Your people almost killed me.”
“I will do anything for my people,” he told you carefully. His voice was wavering. “If they are threatened, I do not care what it takes. I will protect them.”
You weren’t sure what to say. You walked up beside him, resting your arms on the railing, too. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his chest rising and falling with a quick cadence, and despite not being able to hear his fast breathing, you could see he was becoming flustered.
“I pray you can find it in you to understand my motives,” he continued. You, again, said nothing. You could barely form words, your mouth dry. There was something warm on the back of your neck; you brought your hand up to touch it, only to find fresh blood on the pads of your fingers. The spears had cut you. Namor glanced over at your bloodied hand, brows twitching. He reached towards you, “Allow me to--”
You flinched back. You couldn’t look at him. He dropped his hands and bowed his head, staring at the waters below. They were calm, now, the sharks and dolphins no longer splashing about. That whale you had seen had gone, too. You willed your rapid beating heart to cease, wishing your chest would stop twisting and turning.
“I get it,” you murmured, using the collar of your shirt to wipe the last bit of blood from your nose. Namor’s head twitched up, eyes on you in less than a second. “Gotta protect your people, just like you were when you wouldn’t let me take those samples. But this... this is... what I saw...”
“If I had known you weren’t apart of it, I would never have let--”
“I wish you had trusted me,” you sniffled, finally looking at him. His ebony eyes were wider than you had ever seen them, brown brows tilted upwards in a form of desperation you would have never picture them having. He was beautiful. “My letter, I thought... I thought I explained it.”
“You did,” Now that Namor had caught your eyes, he didn’t dare look away in fear of losing them again. “You did, I... jumped to conclusions.”
“You jumped to conclusions,” you repeated, breaking the eye contact. You clenched your jaw. “So you killed my entire team.”
Namor’s mouth opened and closed like a fish for a second, unable to find proper words. “You have to understand where I’m coming from, here. These ships harvesting our vibranium-- Talokan’s vibranium-- would put us at risk. It could lead to the end of my people.”
“I know,” you sighed, closing your eyes and putting your head on your hands where they rested against the railing. The ocean’s breeze struck at your forehead, cooling your skin and blowing your hair off your face. Namor didn’t say anything, but you could feel him looming closer. You hid your face from him.
“Y/N,” he said, his voice so soft you almost didn’t hear him over the breeze. “Please look at me.”
After a prolonged second, you lifted your head from your arms, the breeze chilling the tears that had rolled down your cheeks. You couldn’t meet his eyes. You couldn’t bear it.
“Take me home,” you said quietly. He blinked. “Please.”
“To... to Yucatán?” he inquired, a layer of hope underneath his words.
“No,” something was twisting in your chest. “To Miami.”
“...right now?”
“Yes.”
Namor didn’t move, just staring at you with those puppy dog eyes that made you want to wrap your arms around him and pull him into you.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “Please, Y/N, we have to--”
“Yes, I am sure,” you said pointedly, despite the wobbling of your voice. “It’s not like there’s anything for me to do here, anyways. Everyone’s dead.”
Namor raised an arm, and the female Talokanil soldier from earlier came to his side. He muttered something to her in his native language; you hadn’t bothered to listen, for one because you didn’t speak a word, but for two because for some reason, hearing his voice was making it difficult to hold your ground.
“Come,” he said to you, holding his hand out. You glanced over at him; he began to rise from the ground, wings on his ankles keeping him suspended in the air. You glanced at his hand. “Do you trust me?”
You felt your lower lip tremble.
“I don’t know,” you said, grabbing his hand anyways. He frowned, his eyes more glassy than ever. You wondered if he would cry. He pulled you up, gently wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you tight on his side, his other arm holding his spear.
In a flash, you were soaring towards the horizon, the cold, salty air whipping you in the face as he flew. His skin was cold against yours, and despite your anger, you pushed yourself against him, wondering when the next time you’d feel him would be.
The gold of his jewelry pressed against your skin, and you stared at the way in glinted under the pale moonlight. You stared at him, the jade in his septum, the point of his ears, the bronze of his skin. There were tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, prevented from rolling down his face and simply flying away from the force of the wind.
You hadn’t realized how quickly you were flying. The shore was near, you could see the lights of the city as you approached it. You slowed, your hair relaxing from the absence of the harsh wind. Scrunching your nose to get some feeling back in it, your feet skimmed the top layer of the ocean as he brought you to the sand and let you go.
You dusted your self off, fixing your head and allowing yourself to adjust to being back on the ground. You had gotten dizzy from the flight, but came to it in less than a minute. You glanced at where his hand still held his spear. When he saw you look at it, he lowered it without hesitation. You finally laid eyes on Namor. The tears from earlier had fallen onto his cheek.
“Do you fear me?” he asked.
“I fear what you’re capable of,” you muttered. “Because I don’t think you’ll ever trust me.”
“I trust you,” he breathed. You frowned. “I trust you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do,” he insisted, falling to his knees in front of you. His ebony hair was partially covering his eyes, but the wind suddenly pushed it back so you could see his face. Your eyes widened, gaze lowering to where he sat. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I trust you. Fully.”
You could barely believe the sight before you; Namor, on his knees. You were cruel, you thought. You were still crying.
“I just need some time,” you said, feeling your heart change at the sight of him. His eyes kept flickered around your face, to one eye, to your nose, to your lips, to the other eye, back to your lips. “Okay?”
“Time?” he repeated, nodding, knees digging into the sand, wings on his ankles fluttering a bit. “Yes, that’s-- as much time as you want.”
“Okay,” you sighed. Namor slowly rose to his feet, reminding you of the way he towered over you. He didn’t let his eyes leave yours, as if he were trying to tell you something tacitly. He looked at your lips.
He lifted his hands towards your face, and when you didn’t flinch away, he cupped both of your cheeks with his palms. You closed your eyes, heart thumping.
“Whenever you are ready,” he began, his thumb rubbing over your cheekbone. “I’ll be here. All right?”
“Mm-hm,” you said, letting yourself look at him. He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek.
“Good-bye,” he said. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your hairline so tenderly you thought you might start sobbing right then and there. Before you could say anything more, he soared up into the air, flying away and disappearing into the midnight sky. You wiped at your cheeks, ridding the tears, and with a sigh, you turned around and made for your apartment.
---
taglist:
@childishnewt @criesinlies @fairydxll @cassiestars777 @mcximvffs @kaqua @xlucyintheskywithdiamondsx @eichenhouseproperty @aliyahsomerhalder @lovenewfandoms @justkay2 @only-his3 @deadlydahlias @nellycanwrite @vlamley @seraphimcollections @kingtwhiddleston @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @doimakeyounervous @blue-chup @myotakureprieve @lulu-83 @seraphimcollections @kingtwhiddleston @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @atabeyguabancex @doimakeyounervous @chaoticevilbakugo @theamericanjewitch @tian-monique @kentucky-criedfricken @takeyour-pants-off
a/n: please remember to update your privacy settings so i can tag you!! so many people asked to be on the taglist but then i can’t tag them for some reason... please make sure you update it! thanks everyone <3
#namor#namor fanfic#namor fanfiction#namor x reader#namor mcu#namor x you#namor fic#tenoch huerta#wakanda forever#k'uk'ulkan of talokan#vibranium#namor of talokan#k'uk'ulkan x reader#k'uk'ulkan#mcu#Black Panther 2#con la brisa#angst#tenoch
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Only Friends: Why Ray will continue to inevitably hurt Sand
Episode 3 was just the first of many instances where Ray will hurt Sand. This is just the beginning folks.
Ray's Persuasive Teasing vs Sand's Defenceless Sincerity
By Ray's own admission, he likes teasing Sand to get a rise out of him. He finds Sand's "stupid" (aka sincere/honest) reactions endearing or amusing. A word of caution that what he says can't always be taken on face value. Flirting to him doesn't necessarily imply romantic intent.
Whilst Sand is helplessly sincere (sometimes to his own detriment). He approaches things with the gravity he feels they deserve, which could explain why he doesn't sleep with anyone who isn't his lover more than once. He prefers to keep a clear distinction between a hook-up, friends or lovers.
For all intents and purposes, Sand is trying to keep things pretty cut and dry with Ray. If friends is what they've agreed to be, he'll adhere to that. Yet it's Ray whose initiating in most cases and muddying the waters. Because Sand's defences against Ray are fairly non-existent, he's easily swayed against his better judgement to engage in behaviour that blurs those lines. Sand is weak to Ray's flirting because it's a form of flattery. It gives the illusion of being desired, of being needed. That's an easy thing for anyone to fall prey to.
As long as Sand allows himself to be under Ray's persuasion, he's in prime position to get hurt. His concessions permit Ray to continue taking the lead and dictating the terms. This will make it even harder for him to fight for what he wants when it comes down to it.
'I'm not like your other friends'
Sand makes a point of highlighting this. 'If I'm supposedly just your friend, then what are we doing? This isn't what friends do. And you certainly don't treat your other friends this way. So 'fess up, what does that make me?' Ray conveniently skirts around the question, because truthfully, I don't think he has any idea. Not yet anyway. He hasn't bothered to confront 'the why'.
Ray exhibits an avoidant personality type. Possibly due to his mother's death (repression) or due to his crush on Mew (unrequited). He chooses to go with the flow. He acts on impulse. He seems intent on numbing or distracting himself from thinking too much. You could even say this is ignorance by choice. Ray is either knowingly or unconsciously avoiding what this may imply. (Which will relate to the next point). All he's openly acknowledged is that Sand is "fun to talk to", while glossing over mutual attraction under the terms of their so called 'friendship'. As Mew points out - Ray is lonely. Whether he's seeking out Sand specifically or he's just seeking out company in general, isn't something Ray has determined yet.
With this in mind, Ray doesn't mean to hurt Sand with intent, but it's often a consequence of poor judgement. Ray may be a mess but he's shown to at least take his friendships seriously. He apologises when at fault. He knows when to recognise a gesture in good faith, and to return the favour. When he notices Sand is upset or hurt, he looks guilty. He has a conscience. He at least knows Sand doesn't deserve to be hurt by him.
Ray's crush on Mew
This is arguably the biggest reason Ray is blindsided. Until he's able to let go or move on from his crush, he can't face or welcome Sand's feelings. Ray can easily flirt and tease in the name of harmless fun because it doesn't mean anything, right? Why? Because he has already reserved those feelings for someone else. But Sand doesn't know this. He has no idea why Ray is emotionally unavailable to him.
Ray is predisposed to put Mew first. His loyalty to Mew will win out when pitted against Sand. There is every possibility that Ray is stubbornly holding onto his crush out of habit. He vehemently denies anything is going on between him and Sand, almost in a bid to convince himself he can't possibly like anyone more than he likes Mew. But why? Why close yourself off to other good things that may come your way?
The fear of loss. People can be compelled to stick to something despite knowing it's outcome, because the alternative is unknown. Ray has already accepted Mew's rejection of him. He's had time to familiarise himself with it. At least he knows where he stands. Despite not returning his romantic feelings, Mew still cares immensely for him as a friend. Ray highly cherishes that. He's very grateful that Mew is still a part of his life. Tackling a new relationship means subjecting yourself to the fear of rejection yet again and by extension the fear of loss. When Mew comments that Sand seems to be interested in Ray back, he only says "yeah?" vaguely, almost dismissively - as if he's determined not to entertain the idea.
By choosing to honour his feelings for Mew, anything that happens with Sand must and has to fall under the umbrella of 'friendship' by default. When Sand says "You're happy. I'm happy. We don't develop it", Ray suddenly looks uneasy, and follows that with "but I still want to talk to you". He seems worried that Sand might distance himself. He doesn't want to lose this connection but isn't prepared to jeopardise things with Mew. He's visibly relieved (but lucky) that Sand is happy with this arrangement. For now.
The issue comes when this is no longer okay with Sand. If and when the lines continue to get increasingly blurred or their feelings become too great to ignore, Ray will be forced to make a choice. Mew or Sand. It can't be both. Making a choice often means closing the door on the other. If Ray insists on holding onto the claim that they're just friends, that's going to read as flagrant denial or careless deception in Sand's eyes. One is Ray running away and refusing to confront his feelings, the other is actively misleading Sand to think there could be more when he didn't plan to drop his feelings for Mew.
Sand's burden of responsibility
When Sand says "I don't have the right to be upset with you," he's reminding himself that he shouldn't be hurt by Ray passing him up for another friend. Sand can't help feeling disappointed but he's also embarrassed by this fact - for getting his hopes up, for thinking Ray's 'special treatment' of him sets him apart. Sand was willing to stay in his lane. So whenever Ray starts to instigate physical intimacy, it sends Sand's rationale to go momentarily out the window.
The other reason why Sand is going to get hurt is due to his moral code. He's likely to take responsibility or blame for his part in this very personally. For enabling things to happen and develop when he should have put a stop to it for his own good. 'I should have known better', 'I should have seen this coming', 'I didn't control myself'.
Note: Man, was Episode 3 an absolute doozie. I'm still trying to make sense of everything that happened. I have had so many thoughts and it's been really difficult trying to pick apart everything.
#only friends#only friends the series#ofts#only friends meta#ray x sand#sand x ray#raysan#sandray#firstkhao#khaofirst#khaotung thanawat#first kanaphan#are they both in the early stages of denial?#YUP
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫 ||𝐇.𝐀𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲
summary : Haymitch finds solace in a friendship with young (Y/N). Now Haymitch is outside, watching. (Y/N) is in the Arena, fighting.
song inspo: "There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair" - The Great War by Taylor Swift
pairing : Haymitch Abernathy x fem!reader (platonic)
word count : 1.8 k
contains : angst, hurt no comfort, betrayal, found family trope, violence, some gore, death, this story is set way before Katniss and Peeta's games. Also, first time writing for this character so probably a bit OC Haymitch hahaha.
a/n : Here you have my first moodboard !!! I wanted to try and capture the vibes of the story in three images and I'm pretty proud of myself. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the story :) PD: shoutout to @sarahisslytherin for being so supportive everytime I have a crisis hahaha. Comments are always appreciated 🩷
“I think it’s time I have another dose of that medicine they've sent'' she said as a cue for him to get up from his spot and hand her the remedy inside the metallic jar. (Y/N) had been sick for a day and a half and, even though it was the boy's fault that they had encountered the monster that had bitten her, she wasn’t holding it against him. She knew she could trust him ; at the end of the day, the male tribute from her district had made an alliance with her and she had been doing everything in her power so that he didn’t die. He stood up and handed her the jar.
Haymitch had awoken suddenly after falling asleep on the couch while watching the games in the room designated to the mentors. The constant worry was affecting his sleep schedule and his appetite detrimentally. Not for the boy, no ; he didn’t give a shit about that brat who had skipped all the training sessions and had dismissed his mentor every time he tried to give them valuable advice. He was anxiously picking his lips for her, for (Y/N).
People thought Haymitch had met her after the Reaping, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Ever since (Y/N) was little, she roamed the District streets in solitude, as her mother had died and her father was extremely neglectful towards her. A younger Haymitch had recently become the District 12's victor and was beginning to develop a certain addiction to alcohol when, one cold afternoon, he encountered a young child by the gates of Victors Village.
Her sparkly eyes caught his tired gaze and a stare contest began. "I don't have time for this bullshit" he crankly thought while looking away. She asked him his name and that if that big house was his. He turned around and wondered whether he should engage in a conversation with the child who obviously had no better place to be at. He noticed the kid was underfed and didn't wear any winter clothes. The heart that had stopped beating after surviving the Hunger games came back to life , like a phoenix being reborn from its ashes. From that day on a very special bond was created between the two unfortunate souls. He was still very grumpy and had a little problem with drinking, but (Y/N) made him want to do better. She was incredibly smart and her sarcasm was one of the very few things that made the former tribute laugh. Their talks and dinners were a secret to the rest of the world ; he couldn't risk hurting the girl he had grown to love as a daughter.
He soon discovered her birthday was the day after the Reaping. This year she would turn 19 and the panic the Reaping used to cause her would finally end. Just one more year of not getting chosen and she could live a peaceful life, just like she had always dreamed of. The latter year Haymitch had been talking about taking her in as his daughter, as her father had also passed away. But before that could happen, the most disgustingly ironic thing happened.
"(Y/N), (Y/N) (Y/L/N)"
One day, she only needed one more day. But it seemed useless to whine about something that would not change anyway. The other tribute was a boy nobody really talked to, so neither she nor Haymitch had any idea of what to expect from him. To say that the mentor was devastated was an understatement. But he could not show it, his face impassible as ever instead.
He was there for every meltdown before the dozens of events, for every doubt she could have about how to make it out of the Arena alive, for every nightmare about what fate had planned for her. Haymitch observed with a worried frown how nobody approached (Y/N) during training week ; she was very astute but her mentor had stressed the importance of making alliances in order to have more chances to survive, and seeing how she was going to be all alone out there compressed his chest with acute pain.
He did everything in his power to prepare her for the multiple dangers she could be facing out there. Still, Haymitch’s mind couldn’t help but explore the darkest scenarios ; optimism was never one of his qualities. In the end, the apathetic boy from 12 decided to make an effort at the end of training season and he turned out to be a magnificent and stealthy climber ; he also started to get close to (Y/N) and they decided to team up. The change of attitude shocked Haymitch but since (Y/N) was much more calm and focused, he didn't put too much thought into it.
The District 12 mentor stared at the bright screen in front of him and watched how (Y/N) was sound asleep. The last 3 hours had been pretty dull on their part of the prefabricated habitat : he had gone out to collect some wood and after he had returned, he lit a fire and offered to watch out for any intruders while she slept.
Suddenly, Haymitch noticed how the young male had started pacing back and forth in a nervous manner. His instinct of suspecting of everything anyone does kicked in very quickly. The tribute started sobbing heavily as he wielded the dagger he had managed to obtain from the cornucopia a few days earlier. His shaky hands lifted the weapon in the air and, with all the strength the teenager possessed, he stabbed her.
The blade of his dagger penetrated her back with disturbing ease. He felt as if someone had put him on autopilot and, despite (Y/N) turning to feebly try to defend herself from the unexpected attack, he kept her still against the cold ground and continued to inflict the fatal wounds.
Her shuddering screams reached her assailant's ears like a distant echo. On the television, however, (Y/N)'s last words were perfectly understandable. His name. She was screaming his name. Haymitch couldn't quite detect whether the screams were a conscious call as a hurried form of farewell or a primal instinct in search of comfort triggered by a delusional pain that caused her to abandon all logic or coherent thought. If he had to bet, he would go for the second option, considering how quickly she was bleeding to death and the panicked expression on her face as she realized her life was rapidly coming to an end.
The stabs were becoming significantly weaker and that could only mean that the adrenaline rush that had originally enabled him to act in favor of his secret plan had slowly faded, only to leave him stranded in the tragic reality he had created. The screams stopped quite quickly, as she was choking on her own blood. The lack of cries caught the attention of the aggressor, who looked down and saw how (Y/N) breathed out for the last time. His shirt was a crimson mess. However, nothing could compare with the bloody puddle that was coming out of her body.
Leaving no time to mourn or process the scene in front of him, the Careers appeared and found the violent scene already over. Without an ounce of remorse or repulse, one of the District 1 tributes made their way towards the paralyzed teen and the corpse.
“There’s no time to waste. Give us her supplies, we’ll take them to our hidden spot in the skirts of the mountain. Meanwhile, you must go to the Cornucopia and bring some more food and weapons. You’ll join us later” The commanding voice of the male tribute intimidated the boy from 12 who obediently began to hand them what used to be (Y/N)’s : the matching axes, the food she had collected and had determined to be safe to consume, the medicine that was supposed to help her heal from the bites of the venomous creature.
Haymitch beheld the horrific scene shown on the gigantic TV totally disassociated from reality ; he couldn’t move but the uneasiness crawling up his skin created a tight and uncomfortable feeling that he urgently needed to shake off. How could the boy be so stupid, so naive ? The Careers would kill him after he had completed the tasks they had ordered him to do; he was just a pawn in their master plan to win that hellish competition.
The camera pointed towards the interior of the cave where the body of the young woman laid still. Haymitch could barely recognize the corpse; that could not be the girl that brought light back to his life after living in the dark for so long or the young adult who respected him but also held him accountable when he messed up. No, that was not her. His brain could not assimilate the idea of her dying in such a vile and miserable way. That scum, poor excuse of a man would regret breaking his word, backstabbing his daughter like only a coward would.
He wished him a slow, painful and sanguinolent death. Actually, he wished he could have entered that damned Arena and done the job himself ; if you want something done right do it yourself, right? After a couple of seconds, the sound of the canyon and the image of (Y/N) projected in the sky appeared on the TV and as fast as they came, they disappeared from the screens, moving on to something much more entertaining for the expecting audience.
He quickly excused himself from the room before anyone could begin to notice the grief in his expression. In the quietness of his private room, he started wailing and throwing everything in his way around, tearing all his belongings to pieces as a way to channelize his pain. After a while, he stopped only to approach the drinks cabinet provided by the generous Capitol, and he poured himself one of the many drinks he would have that night and the days to follow.
His heart began to develop another stone wall around itself, but this time it would never ever be destroyed, not like (Y/N) had managed to all those years ago. This time he would drown all his sorrow and any kind of emotion in all the types of liquors he could find. He would close himself to the world ; nobody would carve him open again, nobody would get so close to the real version of himself. He vowed then and there to abandon all hope and just let the years go by until the arrival of his final day.
He exited the room only to sit on the balcony floor. While staring at the night sky, he felt a tear rolling down his left cheek ; after releasing a shaky breath, he raised the glass that contained his numbing remedy and murmured :
" 'till we meet again, sweetheart"
#oweninadaydream#the hunger games#the hunger games x reader#the hunger games fanfiction#haymitch abernathy#haymitch x reader#haymitch abernathy x reader#female reader#fem!reader#the hunger games imagine
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Can I have a yandere apollo hc please
"I would give up everything for you. I would do anything for you." - Apollo.
❝☀️— lady l: Ok, here it's, anon. Sorry that take so long but I hope you like it <3 btw, I'm always trying to decide which of these edits I make, for no apparent reason, look better :V so if you have any preferences between the ones I've posted, please let me know what you think, I'm very in doubt...
❝☀️tw: yandere themes in general, obsessive and possessive behavior, mention of murder and torture, dub-con and non-con not explicit.
❝☀️pairing: yandere!apollo x gender neutral!reader
Apollo is the second most revered Greek deity by the ancient Greeks, after his father. He is the embodiment of the male beauty ideal and this is one of the reasons why he doesn't accept being rejected by anyone. He is a god, one of the most worshiped gods so he has a huge ego and if you dare insult him you will be severely punished.
Apollo is known to love things that are beautiful and rare, so it was no surprise when you captured his attention. You were everything the god liked, young and beautiful. The perfect target to become his new obsession.
Apollo is obsessive, possessive, suffocating, delusional and overprotective. All these adjectives together. Not much to say, Apollo is one of the most suffocating gods in all of Olympus. The god will always be wherever you are, no matter the location. Apollo will always be keeping an eye on you, he is the sun god so he always know where you are.
The deity is very jealous too. Apollo gets jealous very easily, from the slightest possible interaction, it doesn't matter if someone said a simple and innocent "hello", if Apollo doesn't like that person's appearance or suspects that there are "hidden motives" behind that person hi, they will be punished. Tortured, if you prefer a clearer language.
He is very passionate too! Apollo adores you immensely, he is always willing to do anything for you no matter what, but don't be fooled, he's not dumb. If Apollo suspects that you are cheating or playing with him, he will make you bitterly regret it.
You became his princess/prince, basically. Ask for anything and you'll have it, but Apollo expects you to thank him after that. Whether with hugs, kisses, make out or sex. He has no preference, although he loves to see you moving sensually beneath him.
Apollo is hungry for physical touches, he absolutely loves being cuddled with you all the time. Sticky in the extreme, the god will always be with an arm around your waist or showering your beautiful face with kisses. He likes to be touched, to have you pressed tightly against his muscular chest as he rests his head on top of yours.
He would go so far in his obsession with you that he would make everyone adore you and any offense or insult directed at you will not be taken lightly. Apollo himself would personally take care of the punishment of the one who insulted you, maybe shooting some arrows or perhaps flaying that person alive or simply convincing his uncle Hades to have them tortured eternally in Tartarus, either way, they will regret it.
If Apollo can, he will definitely marry you. He would make you immortal so that no tragedy would occur and it would make you his wife/husband. Even if he can't marry you, Apollo will give you ambrosia anyway, he can't risk your death.
If you like singing or writing, Apollo will be your biggest fan. He loves anything you sing or write, your art is of utmost importance to the god and anyone who insults it… Well, they won't have a tongue or fingers anymore. Apollo will always be there, encouraging you and cheering for you.
Apollo loves to see the way you squirm as he pleasures you with his lips. The way you moan his name out loud when he lick on your clit, but the sound he likes to hear the most is when you scream as he penetrated you deep. The tears that fall from yours eyes make you look more angelic and he loves it. Apollo takes what he wants and when he wants, so if you reject him, he can and, especially, if he's in a bad mood, he'll force you.
The god is not a bad romantic partner in general, but his obsession and need to protect you will become exhausting eventually. He's too suffocating, privacy isn't something you'll have after he's fallen in love with you. You literally became Apollo's reason for living. You are his oxygen and he cannot live without. Apollo can't live without you.
#yandere greek gods#yandere greek mythology#yandere apollo#yandere apollo x reader#yandere apollo heacanons#yandere headcanons#greek mythology
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Valentine Boy
Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 (Final)
Special Cover Art by @nakayutasama <3
Summary:
You've been dating College Student! Jaehyun for a few months now. He's unbelievably sweet, smart, oh..and very handsome. Best of all, he gives you the best love you've ever had. He's the love of your life and you can't see anything going wrong as your relationship sails smoothly.that is….until you discover his biggest secret. He's been hiding the fact that he's a camboy and you start to wonder..ls Jaehyun as sweet and honest as you think he is?
Pairing: female reader X college student and camboy!Jaehyun
Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff
Chapter Word Count: 13.5K
Warnings: cursing, cheating, cam boy (video-recorded sex with online audience), brief sexual assault mention (nothing detailed), deception, manipulation, blackmail, alcohol use, minor character death, descriptive smut (fingering, dirty talk, BDSM themes (toy usage, spanking), oral sex (m receiving), threesome, some masturbation, rough sex, vaginal penetration, anal sex, breast fondling).
(A/N): HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!💗💗 Jfc I cannot believe this took 3 years 😵💫 please PLEASEEEE forgive me for completely abandoning this as well as other fics, things happen and I couldn’t find any motivation to write for a while. It’s slowly starting to come back, so you’ll notice my writing style is rusty, please be patient with me❤️Anyway, I’ve introduced a new character *hint hint* his name starts with T hehe! Thank you guys so much for reading this series!! I really want to know if you love Cam Boy! Jaehyun or can’t stand him after this finale. So please comment or send an ask! I hope you enjoy! low key, I’m relieved but I’m also kinda sad, anytime I finish a series it’s really like closing a book and leaving the characters behind, it’s weird.. nonetheless!! ENJOY!
Tag List (if you’re still here, I’d be VERY impressed😭): @teddybella @nakayutasama @nainjun @moonflower-98 @cherrym4rk @hwangjinkkami @jeongyoonohs @starlightdustspots @80sjaeden-blog @poisonedsultana @breadjaehyunie @lilaewe @hash-brownsss @lazydepkkst @greatbakerypaperoperator @mymy127 @tiramisubox @cactus-rocks @justineasian @nakamotonikkoru @joyfulghosteagletree @nainjun @bluehippoo @suhtements @lonely-moon-in-the-sky @ratchet-sebooty @mrshatakekakashi-blog @painted-hills @haylo4ever @celestiababie @ubbesson @tinybangtanstan @oddeyecirca @hongtyong @johnnysmybabydaddy @yesitsmeavi @polarlight-b @chanyeolscoon @ncteaxhoe @suhweo @jiyoungiejae @suhfluffy @the-universe-in-you-jjh @yutyongie @isolemnlyswearimgood @staywritten @hnvbin @jhhooppppeeee @yunohflwr @gotoartistprofile @shiningstarsarah @glitterfall @minsik-k @yoooori @26zcl @ahtisa02 @wonw00t
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[2:30 PM]
“Miss y/n, I understand that you believe you’re innocent in this situation, but the fact of the matter is that these scandalous photos WERE taken with your permission. You voluntarily posed for these photos”
The Dean flips the posters over on his desk so that he doesn’t have to look at them anymore. You appreciated it, but really, you wished she’d be more sympathetic.
“Y-yes, but not with the belief that they’d ever leave my boyfriend's computer..I’m sorry, I don’t know who is trying to blackmail me, but I’d really appreciate it if campus police could do an investigation. I think my boyfriend was hacked.”
You say quietly, unsure of whether or not you even believed that.
“Of course, miss Y/n, this will be done and the perpetrator may be convicted of sexual assault, should there be enough evidence and should you wish to press charges, but right now, our main concern is maintaining our campus peace and the respectful treatment of others that we pride ourselves in having.”
You nod.
“That being said…” she sighs.
“Myself, as well as your professors, have decided to forbid you from entering the campus.”
Your mouth falls open as your eyes widen. “Wha-“
“It’ll only be for the remainder of the semester. You can join us again in the Fall, but in the meantime, you must finish your classes online at home.”
Your eyes start to fill with tears.
“But it isn’t my fault, I-I don’t understand.”
“Things have to calm down right now, you’ll also be at risk for even more harassment if you stay.” She stands and fixes her blazer, signaling that the conversation was over.
You nod and stand up. She was right. You were in a vulnerable state right now. People that hadn’t known you before now knew what your body looked like without your consent. They’d have perceptions about you, they’d look at you scornfully or maybe even make advances.
“Thank you for your time.” You hold your head down and leave the office.
————
Back in your apartment, Bella and Jackson talk about how they ran Jaehyun away. He came to look for you, but they told him they’d have him arrested for trespassing.
“He and the fucking bitch Reina deserve to suffer! I swear to God I will ruin them!” Bella stomps through the apartment.
You hold your face in your hands and sob while thinking about what your life has turned into. You couldn’t show your face on campus now and it’s all because you decided to trust Jaehyun.
“I know what I’ll do, I’ll hack into their account and fucking delete it, how dare they make money after this!”
Bella continues. “They’ll have to start all over.”
“Bella..please..that won’t do anything right now.” You cry even harder. You knew she cared for you and hated seeing you like this, but her getting revenge really didn’t make you happier.
Bella stops in her tracks, rushing to sit beside you and hold your back.
“I’m..sorry, I’m so wounded up, I didn’t even remember that your health is a priority right now. You don’t deserve this and you didn’t do anything wrong, people are just assholes. Have you eaten?”
You shake your head.
“I’ll grab something for you, okay? Stay right here, I’ll be right back!”
While waiting, you hesitantly unlock your phone to check your notifications.
You had nearly 100 missed calls and texts from Jaehyun. You ignore them and block him. You aren’t sure what to think at this point, and it’s not like Jaehyun hasn’t deceived you before. You refuse to be taken for a fool any longer.
You open up the college social media app, CamPak, an app that allows only students on campus to connect with each other anonymously. It’s like Twitter, but for college students whose IP addresses fit the location of the college. You know you probably shouldn’t, but curiosity eats away at you in the silence of your apartment now.
You sigh and scroll through the posts.
Did anyone see those posters this morning? Is this a new nsfw club kkkkk sign me up
She’s hot!! Put the flyers back up
Poor girl must be so embarrassed
Why? She’s the one that posted them obvi, she wants attention
Nah that’s revenge porn
I’d show her a good time
Whoever posted these is a HOE
We don’t need to see this..let it stay on OnlyCams girl
The posts could’ve been worse, you think to yourself and put your phone down. You still feel embarrassed and know you need to be away from it all.
———
[Two Days Later]
“Hey, mom” you drop your duffel bag to the floor and pull your mom into the biggest hug.
“Oh! You’re home early, I thought you had about another month or so?”
You sob quietly, but not because you’re sad, but because it felt good to have someone hold you so lovingly. You’re relieved to be away from it all, and although it sucks having to switch to online classes so late, you prefer working from your home with only your mom around you.
“Yeah..well, I decided to leave early and finish up my classes from home.”
She pulls away to look at you, a frown coming across her face when she sees your swollen, red eyes.
“Wait, what’s wrong?”
You hesitate to tell her the truth, how could you explain that you were the one that allowed the photos to be taken in the first place? The last thing you needed was for her to scold you for not protecting yourself.
“Nothing…it’s just been a difficult semester, I’m glad to be home now.” You give her a small smile.
“If something was wrong, you’d tell me, right?” Her eyes plead for an answer.
You nod. “Of course.”
You don’t need to relive your embarrassment by showing her the pictures and explaining everything, it’s all going to be okay now.
———
[Two Weeks Later]
You focus on your studies and get your work done online as expected. Bella tells you that students stopped talking about what happened a few days after you left. Luckily, social media and preparation for exams kept them busy enough to forget about it.
You breathe a sigh of relief when you finally feel like things are going back to normal, slowly, but surely.
However, you still cry yourself to sleep on some nights. You miss Jaehyun and wonder what you did to deserve this treatment from him. All you did was love him with your entire heart. He took that for granted by risking your privacy and pulling you into a game you had no understanding of.
You never think of texting as this distance is necessary, but you didn’t know that he was keeping in contact with your mother.
She loves him so much, thinking that he is incredibly charming and thereby, perfect for you. She thinks of him as her son already. So when he shows up to her house one day, she doesn’t hesitate to let him in.
“Honey!” She calls out to you as you wrap up a final paper while sitting at your desk in your room.
“Yes! I’m almost done.”
She still opens the door and peaks her head in.
“Jaehyun’s here. He says he couldn’t get you on your phone, so I told him you’ve been studying h-“
“What?!” You turn to look at her with wide eyes, your fingers begin to tremble over the keys of your laptop.
A week later, you’re finally starting to heal, and here he comes to ruin it all, to remind you of everything that went wrong.
Your mom’s brows furrow. “What’s wrong? Did you guys have a fight?”
“No..no, it’s fine.” You know how much Jaehyun means to her, but now is not the time to explain everything that’s happened.
“Oh..ok. I’ll tell him to come up then.”
You fix your hair and put on lip balm to look somewhat decent while wearing a hoodie and sweatpants.
It doesn’t matter what you look like, but you don’t want him thinking your life has fallen apart completely.
He knocks and waits for you to answer.
“Y/n..”
You clear your throat. “Come in.”
He pushes the door, stepping in quietly.
He wears a black hoodie over sweatpants too, but his hair is disheveled. He has a faint mustache and beard under his dark eye bags. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.
“What are you doing here?” You find it hard to look into his tired eyes so you look to the floor.
He closes the door behind him and steps towards you quickly, raising his hand to caress your face.
“Y/n..I’m so sorry, please forgive me..I-“
You step back away from him, bumping into your desk before gripping the edge hard. You feel the blood start to leave your knuckles.
“Get out..I don’t want to see you..” your eyes start to fill with tears as you speak weakly.
“Y/n..baby, it wasn’t me, and I swear to you I will get Reina back for this. She’s ruined you, she’s ruined us.”
“Us?” Your eyes flicker up to him.
“Stop acting like this is as difficult for you as it is for me, you’re not the one whose nudes were plastered all over campus and parts of the internet without consent. If you really cared about me, you would’ve done something already.”
Jaehyun’s hand goes to his side as his face falls. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I was a fool..please let me make this right.”
He leans in again, and you flinch as if scared of him for some reason.
He stares in confusion. You don’t want him to touch you anymore.
“Jaehyun…you can make this right by leaving. Don’t contact me or my mom again..” you start to cry and turn your back to him.
“It wasn’t me, I was hacked, you have to believe me!” He starts to cry as well. “I’d never do this to you.”
But the fact of the matter is he already did. He betrayed you by getting this job with Reina in the first place.
”You’re pathetic for trying to claim innocence right now. You know what’s funny, Jaehyun? I would’ve never known of Reina had it not been for you..”
He swallows hard and steps back.
You turn to face him. “If you hadn’t lied..if you hadn’t been greedy..If you weren’t the coward that you are.”
You’re almost unrecognizable as Jaehyun sees the rage in your eyes.
”Get. out.” You say firmly with tears streaming down steadily.
Whether or not Jaehyun released the pictures and posted them online, he was still the one that took them, he had possession. It would be hard to prove his innocence, not only to you, but to the world as well.
He knows this, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to love you again.
He turns to leave, but stops at the door. “I don’t blame you for being upset with me..but I will always love you, regardless of what happens.”
You exhale before falling onto your bed and wrapping yourself in your blankets. Your heart still aches for him, it hurts to be so cruel.
———
[Later That Day]
A plastered drunk Jaehyun slams the counter at the bar.
“Another shot!”
“Ooo..don’t you think you should slow down a bit?”
Reina sneaks up behind him while rubbing his back.
“Fuck..” he puts his head in his hands. She’s the last person he wants to see.
“You’re always so happy to see me, makes me feel loved.” She says sarcastically while sitting on the stool next to him.
“You’re..such a bitch..” he slurs out.
“But you love it, don’t you?” She pouts and places her fingers on his chin to tilt his face towards her. “If it makes you feel better, I do like the scruffy look.”
He pushes her hand away and stands up, he drunkenly stumbles through the crowd to get away from her, but she wraps an arm around his waist and helps him to the back. She pushes him against a wall and leans in close.
“Come on, Valentine Boy, it’s just you and me now, we can do whatever we want. We can make so much money again, what do you say?”
Jaehyun chuckles. “Reina..even enhancement pills won’t get me hard for you again.”
He was done with her and completely disgusted after all she’d done to hurt you.
Reina’s fall smiles. “You don’t mean that..”
She tries to kiss him, but even in his drunken state, he’s able to push her way.
“Get off of me!”
She still doesn’t stop. “Look at me, Jaehyun, don’t I remind you of her? Treat me like you would treat her if she comes crawling back. You’d love to make love to her, wouldn’t you?”
She kisses his neck while holding his face in her hand. And for a brief moment, Jaehyun does imagine it’s you kissing him. Then, he has flashbacks of your heartbroken and angry face watching him leave. He’d never forget it, because it had been burned into his heart.
“You’re not her! You’ll never be her!” He brushes her off again, but in a fit of rage at his declination, Reina throws herself to the floor to make it seem as though he pushed her.
A ruckus is caused as men storm over to Jaehyun. “What the hell was that?!” They push him into the wall before he can explain.
“He hurt me!” Reina pretends to cry.
Jaehyun said no to her again, and this was unforgivable. She made her feel pain, so it’s only right that she does the same.
“Is he bothering you?” One of the men asks.
“Yes.” She sobs and stands up slowly.
The men take turns kicking Jaehyun down on the ground, making him spit up blood and groan. They pick him up and throw him outside of the bar and onto the street.
Eyes black and blue, stomach filled with bruises, and arms sore, but Jaehyun was convinced that he still didn’t feel as bad as you did. If this was his way to receive pain for what he did, then he’d gladly take it.
Reina hasn’t given up on him just yet, so she devises a plan. She bends over Jaehyun and chuckles. “You should’ve just said yes, Valentine Boy.”
She takes his phone out of his pocket and looks for your number. When she finds it, she puts it into her phone and heads home, leaving Jaehyun to groan in pain and roll around on the dirty pavement.
She calls you up and to her surprise, you actually answer.
You aren’t sure if it’s a professor trying to reach you about one of your finals so you answer just in case.
“Y/n..it’s me, Reina..I’m so sorry.”
You roll your eyes. “I should choke you for what you did.”
“I know..it seems like I’m the one that did this..” Reina starts to cry and sniffles over the line. “But it’s not true..I want to explain everything, I want to help you.”
And for some reason, you listen to her, you trust her. Jaehyun had proven he’s a liar before, but you wanted to hear Reina’s side of the story. So you listened and decided for yourself what you needed to do.
—————
[Three Days Later]
Your thumb hovers over the [send text] button on your phone. Did you really want this? Were you ready?
You take a deep breath and hit send.
You to Jaehyun: let’s meet
You put your phone face down on your desk right away and look to the floor, but just a few seconds later you hear a notification.
Jaehyun to You: yes, I can pick you up now if you’d like
You to Jaehyun: ok
You finally style your hair and put makeup on. You hadn’t felt like yourself since everything happened. You felt ashamed for some reason and a part of you felt that you didn’t deserve to feel pretty. All that changes tonight, however, you’re going to get your life back.
Within an hour Jaehyun arrives at your mom’s place to pick you up.
His eyes grow large at the sight of you in a flowy dress that compliments your body so well.
He hurriedly opens the passenger door and smiles.
“You look amazing.”
“Thanks..you look..better.” You give a small smile and sit inside his car. He cut his hair and shaved his beard and mustache. His eyes still look tired though.
You look at the side of his face and observe all the features you missed. The way his slender neck looks in white crew neck shirts and how his sturdy pecs often peaked through if the collar was stretched. His arms looked toned, his veiny hands gripped the wheel hard. It all reminded you of the many nights you spent together with him pinning you down and making the best love to you.
Is this all that you missed him for though? Is it just lust, is it truly love? You question everything as you sit next to the man you once swore you would grow old with.
The air is tense during the drive to his place, neither of you want to be the first to say what’s on your mind.
“Are you…almost finished with your exams?”
Jaehyun breaks the silence.
“Y-yeah..I have one more. You?”
“I’m done, had my last one this morning.”
He nods and focuses on the road.
“That’s good” you look outside the window.
More time passes between you, creating an awkward space that you just have to break.
“I…forgive you, Jaehyun.”
He hits the brake a little too hard, causing the car to jerk you both forward in your seats. He turns to you now that you’re parked right outside his apartment.
“I-I’m so sorry, y/n…thank you, I promise to make it up to you and find those assholes. I was hacked and the techs at the library were able to wipe my hard drive so it never happens again.”
Did he wipe it to hide something or did he really get hacked? You thought to yourself.
You nod, desperately trying to hide your skepticism.
He leans in close, caressing the side of your face like you’re a precious jewel. “I love you..so much, you mean the world to me..and I’m sorry this happened to you.”
You place your hand over his, keeping his stare, but finding it hard to feel the love for him that you once felt in your heart.
“I know…let’s put it behind us..I just..want to spend time with you.” You start to tear up. You wish things to go back to how they used to be, but deep down you know that isn’t possible. He’s broken your trust more than once now, and you’re finding it hard to put the pieces back together.
Jaehyun, however, is ready for a third chance, his heart racing at the thought of you being his again. He’s going to do everything in his power to keep you this time.
“You mean everything to me.” His eyes fill with tears and it breaks your heart. You can’t help but feel sad when you see him like this. Despite all he’s put you through, it still hurt.
“I know..don’t cry, I’m right here..I’ll always be here.” You wipe his tears away before kissing him.
Your lips stay together for a few seconds before you pull away.
“Come on..let’s go inside.” You tilt your head towards his door.
As soon as you get inside, you resume your kiss while peeling your clothes off of each other, but stop when you feel movement around your ankles.
You pull away from Jaehyun’s lips and look down. “Wh-what’s that?”
“Oh!” He chuckles and bends down to pick up the gorgeous white and brown dog with huge ears. “This is Dora, I got her for you..for us, before everything went down..”He says softly as Dora sniffs your face.
You take her from him, your eyes welling with tears in the process.
“She’s..so precious, Jay.”
His eyes follow your soft face and he thinks of how much he missed you and hearing you call him that.
Your heart kept breaking that night, an overwhelming amount of emotions flowed through you.
Why is he doing this to you? Why is he making you fall in love with him all over again?
You sniffle and place her back down.
“She’s perfect…thank you.”
You take his face in your hands and resume kissing him.
He drags the zipper of your dress down with one hand behind you, then overtakes your tongue with his, gaining a quiet moan from your body.
The way he did things with such skill always turned you on.
Your dress falls to the floor, bunching up around your feet. You step out of it and bump into his kitchen counter while your lips are still attached.
When you open your eyes to unbutton his jeans you see bruises all along his midsection.
“Jay…what-what happened to you?” You pant.
“Oh..it’s nothing.” He tries to go back to kissing you, but you pull away.
“No..it definitely looks like something to me. No more secrets.” You look into his eyes.
“I-it’s stupid, I don’t want to talk about it right now..”
“Well..I do.”
Jaehyun sighs and looks to the ceiling. “Reina tried to get back with me and I told her no…she got a couple guys to beat me up.”
Your mouth falls. “What? Why would she—“
“Because she’s delusional..now kiss me before I go crazy.”
You smirk and raise an eyebrow. “Why should I kiss a guy that can’t win a fight?”
He sticks his tongue in his cheek and chuckles while stepping back. “Touché”
“I’m just joking, come here..”
“Nah..I’m good.” He walks to his room.
You run after him. “Okay I’m sorry, let’s forget about-“
He turns around and grabs you by the waist, swiftly bringing you onto his bed.
He kisses you harshly, biting your lip. He shows off his multitasking skills once again by taking your bra off for you as you hover over him.
Once off, he lets your lips go and smiles. His dimples and soft crescent-shaped eyes make your heart weak. He holds your arms while nuzzling his face into your neck. You giggle at how ticklish it feels.
He then flips you over onto your back and looks into your eyes.
You feel goofy as you smile up at him.
“I missed you so much, baby” he whispers while searching your eyes.
“I missed you too..”
“Oh yeah?” He raises an eyebrow.
You nod and bring your bottom lip between your teeth.
He leans back on his knees and licks his lips.
“Did you touch yourself when you missed me?”
You nod again.
“Sweetheart, let me hear your pretty voice..” he says lowly.
Your chest rises and falls rapidly as he looks down at you with lustful eyes.
“Yes..I did.”
“Naughty girl, you know your fingers can’t replace me, right?” His eyes fall from your exposed chest to the waistband of your panties.
“I know..but they still feel good.”
“Hmm, show me.” He demands.
You take your panties off and throw them to the side, then begin to finger yourself with Jaehyun watching intently.
He brings his jeans and underwear to the middle of his thigh before cupping a fist around his hard member.
You watch him move it up and down slowly and at the same tempo at which you tease your entrance to build your own arousal.
When you put two fingers in you moan and throw your head back.
“That’s it, baby. Fuck..you’re so wet already”
“Only for you, Jay..” you whimper and close your eyes tightly while thinking about the times when Jaehyun had you reeling from his thrusts.
He nearly cums from hearing your breathy words.
You move your fingers in and out of your silky walls, pushing in deeper and deeper. You find that fleshy spot and massage the tips of your fingers against it, just barely applying pressure.
Jaehyun pumps his cock up and down as well, nearly drooling from the sight of your essence-covered fingers entering you over and over.
“Fuck..I’m gonna fun, baby.” You move your fingers faster, but Jaehyun quickly grabs your wrist, placing your dripping fingers into his mouth to suck them clean.
“So good..you taste so good..”
He kisses your neck while aligning his cock with you. Your hands massage his back as you call out his name.
“Jay..it’s been so long baby, I need you.”
He teases you for a bit, running the tip just along the slit.
“I know..” he groans into your neck and finally pushes into you all the way. You gasp, your nails dig into his back.
No matter how much you prepped yourself for him, he always felt big.
He thrusts into you slowly, ensuring that you feel every vein while adjusting to him.
You mewl as your head spins. It feels so good to have him on you after all this time. For a moment, you forget about everything that's happened.
“Ahhh pretty baby, God you’re so tight.”
He kisses your neck and thrusts harder.
“All for me, right? I just have to stuff you well. You can handle it, right?”
You moan. “Yes! Harder, please!”
And Jaehyun listens, pounding you into the bed over and over to hear your scream louder.
He places both legs over his shoulders, grasping your ankles as he fits himself into your body at a different angle.
Your mouth falls open as you call out his name again.
It doesn’t take long for you to quiver around him, cumming hard while your eyes roll to the back of your head. He moves a few more times then cums too, coating your walls with so much, you’re sure that some will leak out.
“Better than your fingers.” He smirks and falls down onto the bed beside you.
You chuckle and lay on his chest.
“I think I need another shower.”
———
[One Week Later]
For Jaehyun, everything went back to normal. You love him and he loves you, you both take care of your darling Dora together. You go on dates and talk about life as you always do. You make love and spend time cuddling together whenever you’re at his place.
For you, however, it feels different. Jaehyun was the love of your life, but he kept hurting you and you felt the scars on your heart hesitating to heal. You try your best to smile and act as if you don’t suspect him. Your brain tells you everything is okay, but your heart is saying something else.
In the end, would this hurt you or him more?
“Hey. What do you think of this one?” Jaehyun breaks you out of your thoughts as you stare across the vast land of the vineyard.
You’re on a vineyard tour together and get the pleasure of trying different wines.
He hands you a small cup to take a drink out of.
You drink it and close your eyes for dramatic effect. “Oooo..” you exhale. “Nice.”
Jaehyun smiles widely. “I like that one too. Come on, let's grab a bottle.”
“Whoa whoa there, we just started the tour..” you laugh. “What if there are others we like?”
He steps closer to you, gazing down into your wide eyes. “I’ll buy every single one you like.”
You look away and scoff. “You’re so cheesy.”
He chuckles before taking your hand in his and kissing it. “Only for you.”
The day goes by and you finally get to Jaehyun’s place.
You make out by his front door as you say goodbye.
“You sure you don’t wanna stay over?” He says in between kisses. He rubs his hand along your back.
“I’d love to..trust me, but I have something to take care of.”
You smile back.
“Oh..ok, do you need me to drive you?”
“No, I got it!” You say quickly while stepping back.
“Oh. Well, I’ll see you later then.” He smile before waving you off. “Call me when you get home, okay?”
“Okay!” You yell over your shoulder then walk swiftly out of his sight.
Jaehyun felt something was off about the way you said bye just now, but he shrugs his shoulders and heads inside to Dora.
“Just me and you now, girl.” He bends down and kisses the top of her head.
Meanwhile, once far away, you look back to make sure Jaehyun’s door is shut and he is inside. You then call an Uber.
The Uber drops you off at a place you never thought you’d be at again.
Reina’s apartment.
——————
[One Week Later]
You and Jaehyun have dinner and a Netflix movie date. The food was fantastic and you truly enjoyed your time with Jaehyun. It was romantic and reminded you of the old days.
Something about him at night with his sharp facial features illuminated by candle lights made him irresistible.
Your dress suddenly felt tighter as he gazed into your eyes while holding your hand.
“Should we go now?” He asks smoothly as if hearing your thoughts about how badly you wished he’d rail you across the table right then and there.
“Sure.”
While on your way to his place, you receive a text.
You’re coming over tonight, right?
A big bidder messaged me saying he’ll be there
Remember you get half
You quickly closed your phone screen and looked out the window.
“Everything okay?”
Jaehyun squeezes your thigh gently.
You turn to him. “Yeah..yeah definitely. It’s just…”
His brows raise. “Just what?”
You frown. “I have to take care of something again tonight.”
“Oh! Are you sure? Is it something I can help you with?” His hand grips the wheel as he speaks huskily. He was slowly starting to get tired of you leaving him alone at nights. Something felt off again and he wasn’t sure why.
You sigh. “Unfortunately, no, I have to go in about 30 minutes.”
“Oh…damn.” He exhales.
You sit in silence for about two minutes as he drives home, then he pulls over on the side of the road.
“Something wrong with the car? What are you doing?” Are you nervous about him suddenly stopping? Does he know?
Jaehyun puts the car in park then turns to you. “You said 30 minutes, right?”
You nod as you stare at him with wide eyes.
“Okay..we have time..I’ve been thinking about you in that dress all night.”
He runs a hand through his hair then licks his lips.
He leans in for a kiss and you kiss him back fervently, he kisses you like he’ll never get a chance to again, tugging your bottom lip before licking over it. He turns his head to get more and you give him just what he is asking. His hands hold the sides of your face still as you fall into him more and more, but then, you remember the texts and pull away after a few seconds.
“God..you’re so good…but I really can’t..” you say breathily.
Jaehyun’s brows bunch together. “W-why?”
You look at his lips. “I really want to…I’ll make it up to you, okay?”
“But baby, we have like 25 minutes at least let me taste you..”
You shake your head. “I’m sorry, I’m just not in the mood tonight.”
You lied to him, but it was the only way to get him to start driving again.
You hadn’t had sex in 2 weeks, you wanted to, but it didn’t feel right.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”
You shake your head again while looking to the floor. You couldn’t look him in the eyes as your heart beat out of your chest.
“No..no, it’s not you, it’s me..I just need you to be patient with me, okay?”
“Oh, of course! I’m sorry.”
Jaehyun nods and puts the car back in drive, feeling like a huge jerk for making your discomfort about him.
As you’d done a week prior, you wait for Jaehyun to get inside then call an Uber.
You head inside Reina’s apartment and get ready for your second love video with her and Taeyong, her new male counterpart.
“Are you going to be able to do it this time?” She asks as you place your bag down on the couch. You look onto the intimidating setup with lights and a tripod before swallowing hard.
“She doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to..although it would be nice, I’m sure she tastes amazing.” Taeyong leaves the kitchen and heads towards you.
“I’m ready.” You look into his eyes. You couldn’t put up with this game of playing with Jaehyun’s heart for much longer. You were slowly starting to fall in love with him all over again, only hurting yourself in the process. You knew how this would work out.
If it hurt you to do this to him, why didn’t it hurt him when he had done the same for months? Did he truly care about you?
“Great.” Reina smiles before handing you a baby pink lingerie set complete with a leather collar to put on.
You freshen up in the bathroom and put the lingerie on. You look amazing, but you wished you felt the same way. It’s hard to be cruel, especially to someone you once loved.
You step out and hear ooo’s and aaa’s by both Reina and Taeyong.
“Thank you..” you smile slightly.
Having your pictures being shared all over, being labeled as a slut awakened something inside of you. Was it so bad to have people list after your body? Well, not really. But you should at least get paid for it, right? At this point, you didn’t have anything to lose, but you’d get the opportunity to enact revenge on Jaehyun. That was your true goal.
“Now..let’s have some fun.”
Reina places the final touches on your lipstick and looks into your eyes. “You look beautiful, y/n. I know it’s your first time, and I know you’re nervous, but it will be okay, just follow my lead.”
You lay down on the bed and stare at the camera as she turns it on.
Comments flood the screen of the laptop behind it almost immediately. So many people were waiting for her, and in your novice mind, you still couldn’t compute just how big this online community is.
How could Jaehyun hide this from you for so long?
Taeyong wore pink shorts to match your set and a collar as well. He crawled onto the bed beside you before getting on his knees and leaning down.
“Baby girl..look at me..” the tattooed boy says smoothly. He uses two fingers to tilt your chin towards him. He smiles softly before placing his thumb on it and kissing your lips.
You had met him once before this to take your tests at the clinic together. Everything came back negative for all 3 of you, relieving you of any concerns regarding that. Nonetheless, he seemed to be a sweet guy and his looks were just as striking as Jaehyun’s.
His sharp jawline provided a wildly stark contrast to his large brown eyes. Reina described him as the perfect partner, and even thanked Jaehyun for leaving her as Taeyong was more “flexible,” and not just in terms of working hours.
He’d take any position she asked him to.
But when preparing for tonight, you asked that they both be in charge. You’d be the one to listen and follow their instructions.
Taeyong maneuvered his lips in a way that made you dizzy. Jaehyun was a great kisser, but Taeyong wrote the guidebook. His tongue overtaking yours as his bottom lip caressed yours. You moaned quietly, raising a hand to grasp his arm and pull him closer. He smelled and felt amazing as he bent over your body.
For a moment, you forgot about everything, you didn’t think about Jaehyun or even remember the blinking red light of the camera. All you felt was Taeyong, but then Reina places her phone down and gets onto the bed beside you. She kisses your neck, leaving her rouge and warmness all over it.
She kisses along your shoulder, sucking hard and biting into the skin slightly. You whimper at the sudden harshness of her teeth against you.
She then kissed lower and lower until getting to your bra. She pulls the cup covering your hard nipples down and begins to suck the nub. Taeyong releases your lips and kneels back away from you.
“Mhmm..just as sweet as I imagined.”
He smirks while rubbing his thumb along your lips, dipping it in and out slowly as you hollow your cheeks and suck.
They way he looks down at you with swollen red lips and they way Reina flicks her tongue against your sensitive breast makes your toes curl.
You watch him palms his hard member through his boxers, noting how a wet mark appears where his precum has already leaked. Turns out he’s just as turned on as you are.
“Do you want it?” Reina pulls away to ask.
You nod, completely unashamed of how desperate you seemed.
She chuckles. “You have to work for it first.”
Meanwhile, Jaehyun gets a text on his phone after getting home from his walk with Dora. His eyes widened.
He immediately tries to call you, but you don’t answer. He doesn’t stop, dialing you over and over hopes that you pick up. Little does he know that all parts of you are currently occupied by Reina and Taeyong.
Your phone lights up on the kitchen counter from his notifications while you take Taeyong’s cock into your mouth.
Your fingers find Reina’s dripping flower as she continues to suck your nipples.
Taeyong grabs the leash attached to your collar and tugs it slightly to choke you.
“Such a good girl..taking me all in like that.”
You involuntarily moan, sending vibrations onto him. He groans and curses as he moves his hips to drive himself deeper and deeper into your throat.
Reina dips her fingers into your thong and begins flicking the tips against your clit.
You begin to choke as you have trouble breathing while Taeyong destroys your throat. The feeling is raw, but you’re so wet by being like this for them, you don’t mind it.
You feel dizzy and drool drips down your chin.
Taeyong is turned on by the sight below him, his movement stutters as he pulls out and pants. You look up with wide eyes while breathing heavily. Something about him was hypnotizing. You lay your tongue out as he unloads onto it, feeling yourself clench around nothing as you cum as well.
Jaehyun stares at his screen after hearing your voicemail come up for the 10th time. It was vital that he get through to you now. What could’ve been so important that you wouldn’t answer him?
He then sees a notification pop up at the top of it.
“watch Rein on Me Live right now! First 2 minutes FREE”
“Rein on Me” is Reina’s username.
His breath hitches in his throat. Why does he still have her notifications set to “on”?” He thinks to himself and turns the screen off.
He sits down on the couch and puts his elbows on his knees while thinking about where you could possibly be right now.
And then, curiosity gets the best of him. He picks the phone up, clicking the link while holding his breath.
Why is his heart racing? Is he curious to see if she’s gotten another partner for her videos? He’s not sure why, but what he sees shocks him, breaking his heart instantly.
You are on your knees with your ass up, having your collar pulled by Reina who is below you.
Taeyong pushes into you while you choke on Reina’s strapped on cock.
Taeyong grabs your ass, slamming into you so hard, feeling tears escape the corner of your eyes.
“Oh look..she’s crying, Tae. I think you should give her something to cry harder about.”
You put a hand up behind you and onto his abs, pushing him away slightly, begging him to be softer on you.
But he chuckles then slams into you again while placing two fingers into your clit and rubbing circles onto it.
“Oh? Is this too much for you?”
They did give you a safe word for when it all came to be too much, but you wouldn’t dare say it now. Although you were being stuffed on both ends and had trouble breathing as a result, Taeyong felt amazing in between your velvet walls and his loud groans and whimpers told you he felt the same.
You shake your head.
“Good, because you’re gripping my cock like you love this. Isn’t that right? Our girl is a slut, Reina, look at her drooling again.”
The chat room is filled with praises and donations. The viewers loved seeing you like this and hearing the dirty talk between the two. Some wanted to be you, and some wanted to fuck you.
Jaehyun’s eyes grow, his focus shifts from the video and to the comments requesting even lewder acts from the 3 of you. How could this happen? How could you betray him like this? Either way, he has to stop this now.
He puts his phone in his pocket and heads out.
He drives angrily, finding it hard to see the road through his teary eyes. He was so angry he could feel the heat escaping his nostrils as he gripped the steering wheel hard.
Meanwhile, it was Reina’s turn to fuck you with her strap.
She lays on the bed on her back, facing the camera upside down. She rubs her soft hands along your thighs as you mount her.
“Ride me well, or we’ll spank you until you can’t sit on your ass for weeks.”
“Yes..” you lower your aching pussy onto the dual ended strap and begin moving.
Reina whimpers as her side of the dildo enters her with each time you go down.
“That’s it, baby, don’t stop.” Taeyong says breathily in your ear while unhooking your bra.
“Fuck.” He kneels behind you, bringing your hand to cup his hard cock.
He kisses your neck as he pinches your nipples to hear you cry out his name.
Reina rubs your clit with her thumb making you gasp and swivel your hips faster to gain another high. Taeyong then tilts your head towards him and kisses you deeply. He grips your throat, squeezing slightly as his tongue explores your mouth.
He begins to leak all over your hand, but you don’t stop pumping him. You close your eyes and ride Reina even faster, enjoying Taeyong’s passionate kiss as you imagine it to be him you were on top of.
He pulls away, allowing a string of spit to connect your two mouths.
He licks it up then looks into your eyes with a lustful stare. “She’s close, be a good girl and make her cum.”
You nod then lower yourself onto Reina, pulling her bra down to reveal her incredibly perfect breasts. You lick and suck her nipples while fingering her clit.
Taeyong licks his lips at the sight of your dripping opening gliding up and down on the dildo with ease. He pumps his cock and aligns it with your ass while your focus remains on coaxing a well deserved orgasm out of Reina.
He enters you unexpectedly, forcing just half of himself into you before you let out a high pitched scream.
“Oh my god!” You grip the sheets on either side of Reina’s head while your legs tremble at the feeling of being stretched out.
“Ahh kitten, so tight..fuck.” He grabs your waist, digging his fingertips into it to leave what may be a permanent indentation.
He pushes himself all the way in, making you cry again.
You rub your own fingers into Reina faster, making her cum hard. Her eyes roll to the back of your head as she pulls on your leash.
“You’re so pretty like this, isn’t she Tae?”
Reina moans out. “Yes..the prettiest kitten.” He struggles to get out while watching himself enter your tight opening once more.
Reina moves from under you, pulling the strap out of both her and you.
She takes the end that was inside you and puts it in front of your face. “Open, and taste yourself.” She demands.
You open your mouth, sucking it off while looking into her eyes.
You whimper as Taeyong goes so deep inside you, you feel you might go crazy and truly won’t be able to walk for another week. It’s a miracle how he's able to be so big.
“Come on, baby, tell me how good it feels to have me fill you up like this.”
“Feels..so good..” you can’t hold your body up anymore, you fall into the bed as he pounds into you.
More and more payments flood the notification on the laptop screen. Taeyong pushes into you faster while grabbing your leash, and you’re both about to cum again when you hear the front door fly open.
Your eyes open in confusion as you look up at Reina.
She looks confused too. She quickly pauses the broadcast and right after the bedroom door flies open.
“Get the fuck off of her!” Jaehyun stomps towards Taeyong, laying a fist into his face so fast, all 3 of you fail to comprehend exactly what’s happened.
Taeyong falls into the bed as Reina rushes over.
“Jaehyun!” You yell, jumping off of the bed and grabbing the sheets to cover your body.
There goes your dazed feeling.
“What the FUCK is going on here? Reina, what the hell did you do? How could you get her involved in something like this?!” Jaehyun is so angry, his hands create fists at his sides as he glares at Reina. She doesn’t pay attention to him, however, trying to see just how bad his punch was towards Taeyong.
You calm your nerves and finally tell Jaehyun the truth.
“It was my idea, Jaehyun..I want to do this…to get back at you.”
He turns to you with a confused look in his eyes. You don’t turn away from his stare this time, you look into his eyes and remain strong. You thought of all the nights you cried yourself to sleep, of all the times you felt like you weren’t good enough for him.
You thought of his betrayal and the acts it left you.
“W-what?”
You scoff. “Don’t give me that, Jaehyun. I know it was you..I know that it was you who sold the pictures of me and put them up on campus.” You walk closer and closer to him while speaking harshly.
“I know you wanted to embarrass me and make me desperate for you..so I tricked you..like you tricked me this entire time, I made you fall in love, just so I could break your heart.”
Jaehyun’s eyes widen as they fill with tears. His mouth falls open. “You…you really think I could do that to you?”
You nod. “After everything you did to me, you still try to pretend to love me.”
Jaehyun gasps. “Pretend?” He shakes his head. “I have always loved you. There’s not a moment in my goddamn life that I don’t think about you.”
You finally break your gaze, finding it hard to keep your eyes focused on him as he cries endlessly.
“Look..I may have done something shitty and I deeply regret it, but I could never embarrass or dehumanize you like that.” He sniffles. “I’d never put you in danger.”
“Stop lying Jaehyun! We know you were trying to get back at both of us, I tried to stop you!” Reina yells while holding Taeyong, who is still knocked out.
“Fuck you! You’re the reason all of this is happening.”
He takes his phone out and shows you a text he received from his friend. The text he had been calling you about all night.
“Look.. it’s a photo taken from a security camera on campus. I asked my buddy, who volunteers at the police station, to do some digging for me two weeks ago because I wanted to find out who’d done this to you.”
You look at the picture, a breath leaving you once you see who is stapling a print out of your scandalous photo onto a tree.
You turn to her, tears falling onto your cheeks.
“You fucking bitch.”
Reina loses a semblance of her coolness and clears her throat.
“Why? Why did you do this to me?” You sob.
“Because she wants me! She’s so desperate to have me to herself, she’d do something as cruel as this!”
You hold your face in your hands.
“Jaehyun..I’m so sorry..” you reach out to hold him, but he pulls away.
“I’m not surprised by her, but I’m disappointed in you. You’ve hurt me..so badly.” He walks out as you run after him, still clutching the sheet to your body.
“Jaehyun, please!! She showed me the video you made a week before you came to my moms house! She said you were back to making videos together!” You tell him, but Jaehyun shakes his head and turns to you in shock.
“I’d been taking exams the entire time, y/n. There’s no way I’d do that! She just uploads old videos of us to get more money!”
You look back at Reina as she leaves the room too. “Oh..my God.” You crouch down to the floor. How could you be so easy…again?
Reina chuckles and crosses her arms before leaning against the door frame. She nods. “Well..this isn’t exactly how I’d expect things to go down, but I should’ve known you’d still be subscribed to me as part of the notification crew..” she whistles before continuing.
“Yes..I lied, yes..I hacked his iCloud and printed those sexy pics of you, y/n. But it’s only because I wanted to teach him a lesson. He can’t leave me..I made him.” She laughs again. “And to leave me for you? Oh that pissed me off even more. He makes you seem like you’re an angel on Earth. No..he doesn’t deserve you, he deserves someone like me.“ She walks towards him and attempts to touch his chest but he steps back and looks down on her in disgust.
“Valentine Boy deserves someone as lustful, self-centered, and greedy as himself..”
“You’re cruel. And what you did was a crime. I hope it was worth it.”
He speaks sharply.
You cry and remember the call you had just a few weeks ago with her.
[REINA’s CALL]
“I understand why you’re upset..I’d be too, but you have to understand that this is just Jaehyun’s way of getting back at you.. he was upset that you made him stop. He was desperate for cash so he sold your pics y/n.”
You gasp while listening to her over the phone. Should you have listened to her? Maybe not, but could you really trust Jaehyun after everything? After all, he did take the photos.
“I begged him not to..I told him this would ruin you, but he did it anyway..he made some cash, but he didn’t expect whoever these jerks were to print them out and put them all over campus as a joke.”
You scoff. A joke? That’s all this was for them, a joke.
Reina continues. “He got drunk the other night and came to see me. He said that he didn’t expect all this to happen, but that it worked out in his favor anyway. You’d eventually realize that no one else would love you because you've been exposed and praised as a pornstar slut all over campus. You’d be reliant on him forever..or so he hopes. But I won't let that happen, y/n. I want to help you get your revenge.”
“Why should I believe you?”
Reina exhales. “Listen, I have nothing to lose by telling you the truth. As a matter of fact, I have something to gain. If he gets back with you, he’ll stop doing videos with me, and I’ll stop making money. So I’ll need you to break his heart, therefore he’ll come running back to me. Capeesh? Everyone is happy. And I’d you don’t believe me, take a look at the link I just texted you..”
You look at your phone and click the link. It’s a video of Jaehyun and Reina on OnlyCams with the broadcast date showing “One Week Ago.”
Your brows bunch as you grind your teeth. This bastard was already back to this without you being in his life.
He was misleading you again.
“See? You’ve only been separated for a few weeks and he’s already back to making videos and money with me..”
You can almost hear her smile over the phone as you sit there with steam escaping your ears.
“What is it you want from me?” You let out through clenched teeth.
“Ask to be his girlfriend again, then start making videos with me..break his heart this time so that he gives up on you..get your revenge and make money at the same time. You’re pretty enough and by now I’m sure you’re used to everyone looking at your body. So…join us.”
[PRESENT DAY]
“Jaehyun..wait..please, I was stupid, I’m sorry I hurt you!”
You stand up from the floor and hurriedly change into your T-shirt and sweatpants that you brought. You run after Jaehyun as he heads out of the door.
However, Reina pushes you to the side to run after him first. She hurries down the stairs.
“Jaehyun!! Don’t go..I love you more than she does, can’t you see? I went through all this trouble for you! I never doubted you, I never hurt you, I only loved you and shared what I had!”
She wraps her arms around his waist from the back, keeping him still as she sobs.
“You’re everything to me, I need you, baby.”
Your mouth falls open as you watch from the top of the stairs.
This was Reina’s plan all along and you fell for it, like an idiot. You allowed yourself to be played.
You rush down and run away, through the trees, hoping that no one will find you. You’re beyond embarrassed and devastated at how everything has turned out.
Jaehyun pries Reina off of him, grabbing her arms off and pushing her away. She calls onto the ground and reaches up for him, but he only grimaces and steps back again.
“Leave me alone!! You’re fucking crazy! If I see you again, I swear I will call the cops!”
In a final desperate attempt, she grabs his ankle. “If you leave me, I will send everything to your dad!”
Jaehyun’s mouth falls open.
“You wouldn’t dare..” he says with venom on his tongue, he truly couldn’t believe she’d do this to him.
“I don’t love you, I never have and I never will.” He pulls his foot away and continues to his car to drive after you.
He looks all over but doesn’t see a trace in the night sky.
He then takes his phone out of his pocket and goes to dial you, but Reina grabs it out of his hand and throws it to the ground in a fit of rage, breaking it instantly.
“You fucking bitch!” He places both hands around her neck and begins to choke her.
She smiles. “Yes, Valentine Boy, come inside and punish me.”
He grows even angrier, letting go and jumping into his car.
“No no no..don’t go!” She slams the trunk of it as he drives off.
“Fuck…” he drives everywhere, looking through the woods to see if he can catch a glimpse of you running through them.
You find somewhere to rest and crouch down while crying. Your hands shake. How could everything go to shit so quickly?
You take your phone and call Bella.
“Hey..I’m coming over.” You sob.
When you get to your shared apartment, Bella welcomes you with a big hug. “I missed you so much.” She tears up.
You sit down and explain everything to her as she consoles you. Jackson is there as well, making ramen noodles in the kitchen for you.
“Y/n..it’s not your fault, I probably would’ve done the same thing.” He says as he walks in with a bowl.
You take it from him as you sniffle.
“She’s a bitch, she manipulated you. God I can't wait until she gets arrested!”
Bella clenches her fists.
“How..will Jaehyun forgive me? He’ll never look at me again.” You cry harder again.
“No no don’t say that, you’ve forgiven him more than once, he’ll probably forgive you too. Just talk to him…give him some time to calm down, then call him.” Bella rubs your back as you listen. She was right, if Jaehyun truly loved you, maybe he would see it from your point of view and forgive you.
You nod. “Okay.”
And after finishing your noodles and taking a shower, you fall asleep.
———
[The Next Day]
You rub your swollen, red eyes and pick up your phone instantly.
You have no new notifications Jaehyun, only his missed calls from before everything went down. You swallow hard and dial him back, but it goes straight to voicemail. You then send him a text, but receive a message.
The subscriber you are trying to message is not accepting calls or texts at this time.
You sigh and put your phone down on the bed. As expected, Jaehyun blocked you. He’s deeply hurt and wants nothing to do with you. And so you cry again, clutching your pillow to your chest as the day goes on.
Jaehyun stares out of his window and thinks of you. He misses you so much, and now he can’t call you as his phone was destroyed by Reina.
Now that he’s calmed down and erased the image of you having sex with another man from his mind for a moment, he realizes you both messed up, you both hurt each other and he wanted to talk with you to see if you still don’t trust him or rather, do you love him at all anymore?
He’s not sure if you’re at your mom’s place or your place near campus with Bella, or if you even made it home safe..but he needs to find you.
He takes a shower, feeds and walks Dora then gets ready to head out in the afternoon, but he is stopped when he hears a knock on his door.
Dora barks before he shushes her and taps her behind lightly.
He braces himself. Could it be Reina? Could it be you? Could it be the guy he knocked out?
He looks through the peephole and sees someone he didn’t expect.
He opens the door and allows the man in.
“How’s my favorite nephew doing?” Jaehyun’s uncle, Charlie, pats his shoulder before stepping towards the couch.
Jaehyun looks at him nervously, but follows behind.
His uncle is a professor at the college. He was instructed by his father to watch over Jaehyun carefully, but in respect for Jaehyun’s growth as an adult, Charlie never overstepped or took his role too seriously.
“Hi..what’s going on?”
He places his bag down and sits beside him.
“Well..you and I…I guess I should say, you are in some deep shit.”
Jaehyun places his hands in a fist in front of him and his eyes lay on the coffee table.
He placed his fingers over his bruised knuckles, swallowing hard as he anticipates what his uncle will say next.
Not many things bothered Jaehyun, but impromptu visits from his family members always made him uneasy.
“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that girl whose pictures were put all over campus the other day, would you?”
Charlie leans forwards
“Why do you ask?”
Jaehyun clears his throat.
“Oh well…I just thought you might know something..”
Jaehyun turns to him and speaks softly. “Uncle..why are you really here?”
“Jaehyun..you know..how your father is..”
Upon hearing this, Jaehyun suddenly remembers Reina’s threat. His eyes widened.
“He knows..I know, your mom knows…I mean, personally, I don’t care, it’ll all be erased at some point, but Jaehyun..it’s not looking good for you.”
His uncle continues as he sits back on the couch and exhales.
“Why’d you do it? It’s not like you need the money. Is this like a young couple thing? Is she your..girlfriend?”
“No!…no, not at all..” Jaehyun stands up. He’s furious that Reina really actually exposed him to his father despite knowing their rocky relationship with each other.
“I’m not sure why I did it, Charlie, maybe I needed to feel independent. Maybe I just don’t like asking my hypocritical father for anything..”
Charlie nods, sighing again before fixing his tie. “Well, Jaehyun..whatever your reason is, I get it. You’re your own person.”
Jaehyun stands in silence while clenching his fist.
“Nonetheless, your father is pissed…he wants you back in Korea.”
“What?!” Jaehyun turns around and stares in shock.
“I know..I know..he’s a bit dramatic, but he’s not happy about you becoming a “pornstar.” His words, not mine.”
Jaehyun shakes his head. “I’m not going back.”
Charlie stands and holds his hands out in front of him. “Look, I know you love it here and you don’t want to be anywhere near your father, but think of it this way. You can start fresh back home and learn what it’s like to run a business. Eventually, you’ll make your own money again and won’t have to rely on anyone!”
“But that’s exactly what’s gonna happen! I’ll have to rely on him to get the position! It’s not fair!”
“Jaehyun..I know, you’re upset right now, but just go..at least for the summer break. Maybe you need some time away to rethink everything.”
“No..I won’t.” He looks into Charlie’s eyes.
“Tell him I said “no.””
Charlie sighs and looks to the floor. “He won’t pay for your college anymore…you’ll officially be on your own, cut out of the family name completely, is that what you really want?”
Jaehyun remains silent as he contemplates his choices.
“Think about it and let me know soon so I can help, I’ll try to calm him down for now.”
He lays a hand on his shoulder and leaves.
———
[3 Days Later]
You finally leave your bed and decide to treat yourself to some coffee from the cafe on campus. Jaehyun never showed up or called so you stopped expecting him to. However, you still thought about him all the time. You missed him so much, but if space is what he wanted, then you were in no position to deprive him of that.
This was your punishment for hurting him.
You stuff your hands in your hoodie and look up at the menu, knowing very well that you’ll just choose what you always do. An iced grande caramel macchiato.
You smile while taking the drink from the barista and look for a seat.
You find your favorite comfy chair in the corner and place your laptop on the table in front of it.
So far, your day is going pretty well. Favorite drink, favorite seat. What else would go right for you?
You needed to distract yourself from thinking of Jaehyun. You take a few sips while reading a novel Bella recommended to you.
Gentle Monsters.
It’s about a woman who runs, literally, into a handsome man that operates a glass conservatory. The catch is he happens to be hiding a dark secret.
Your eyes scan through the pages quickly as the drama gets juicy and then..your laptop screen is pushed down.
“Hey! What the h-“
“Hey..”
Your eyes grow when you see who takes a seat across from you.
“T-Taeyong?”
“Mhm” he smiles while sipping a pink drink. He wore sunglasses and as he tilted his head, you could see remnants of the bruise Jaehyun left him.
“What..are you doing here?”
“Oh, I didn’t know dashingly good looking boys couldn’t be college students too.” He says sarcastically.
“I didn’t know you studied here..so does that mean..you saw my pictures? Did you know about me before we met?”
Your face becomes warm as you lean forward and whisper.
“No..I didn’t..I don’t pay that much attention to what happens on campus to be honest.”
You exhale and relax in your chair.
“And if I had, what would it matter now? I’ve already seen…everything..” he eyes you up and down. His gaze is almost too much to bear and you start to feel like Patrick Starr’s rock home under the sea is the perfect place for you right about now.
“Ugh..” you close your eyes and shake your head. “Please..don’t remind me.”
Taeyong’s mouth falls open. “What? Was it that bad?”
“No..it was..magnificent..you were, I mean, are magnificent..it’s just…”
He chuckles as you stumble over your words.
What could you say? He had an intense aura about him that made you nervous. What made matters worse was the fact that a small part of you wanted to kiss him again.
“Oh..magnificent, I like that.” He says in a growl while running a hand through his luscious brown hair.
For some reason, it felt like you were cheating on Jaehyun again so you looked away quickly. “I’m..sorry about Jaehyun, he shouldn’t have hit you..it’s all my fault.”
He shrugs. “It’s fine..you can just make it up to me later.”
You laugh and look outside the window. “Gosh you’re interesting..”
“And magnificent..” he places his sunglasses on top of his head to wink at you.
“Hey!” A girl stops by your table and squints.
“Aren’t you that girl from the posters?” Her friend beside her snickers.
“Oh..” you look down at the table.
They laugh loudly, and begin to create a scene inside the quiet cafe. “Nice! I guess nothing is left to the imagination anymore! Talk about desperate!”
You swallow hard and tap the table while waiting for them to just walk away. You could’ve gone off on them, but what would that do? They’d only make fun of you as more people look up and start to recognize your face too.
Taeyong grows angry once he sees how upset you look. “What’s so funny? Look, I’d be insecure too when she has a perfect face and body and I look like..” he looks her up and down and grimaces.
“that..” he fakes a total body shiver.
“Better get going, I think Shrek is looking for his long lost cousin.” He says smoothly while giving an evil glare. He puts a finger on his chin and squints. “Congratulations on being the first ogres to be admitted to this school. Yay! diversity!”
You can’t help but laugh.
“Go away now before I call animal control.” he shoos them away.
Damn, he was lethal. You’d hate to be on his bad side.
The girl’s friend scoffs before saying “fuck you..” and walks away.
“I wouldn’t fuck you with the lights off, bitch.”
Your eyes grow.
“Taeyong!”
“What? They’re rude and ugly.” He rolls his eyes.
You found it hot that he’d defend you like this and simply laugh again.
“Anyway, once I found out about Reina’s plan and what she did to you, I left. I want nothing to do with her.” He sips his drink again.
“Yeah..I’m sorry she used you too..”
“Oh don’t be sorry, on the bright side, I got to meet you.”
A moment of silence rests between the two of you.
You nod and start to gather your things.
“Well, I should get going!”
“Y/n..” he says as he touches your hand on the table.
“I’d love to spend time with you again..”
You take your hand away and tuck it into your pocket again.
“Oh..I don’t plan on doing anything like that ever again, I’m sorry.”
Taeyong laughs. “No..of course not like that, get your head out of the gutter…I mean, time like this at a cafe or park, or something..you’re nice to talk to.”
“Oh..shit, I don’t know why I was thinking that like of course you meant just regular time like this, it’s just the way you said it, you know like the way you touched my hand, I-“
He laughs before standing up from the table. “You’re a mess, let me walk you out.”
Taeyong held your hand to help you stand up from the soft chair.
You walked outside together, but said your goodbyes as you headed in different directions.
“Y/n..” he calls out to you as you walk away.
“Yeah?”
“Phone.”
You fish your phone out of your pocket quickly and hand it to him. He smiles from ear to ear as he puts his number into your phone.
“Don’t be shy now, remember I’ve already seen everything..” he leans in close to your ear. “And I love it..”
You gasp as you punch his chest lightly.
“I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”
He waves while trotting away.
You stand there dumbfounded and completely smitten by the man, then you suddenly remember Jaehyun and wonder if these new feelings told you you were over him.
Jaehyun wonders the same thing as he watches from across the street.
He was heading to your place with a bouquet of flowers when he saw you and the man he punched leaving the cafe. He decided to park into a spot a few spaces away and watch your interaction.
You looked..happy. This man made your eyes light up, and the sight was much more painful than watching you get fucked by him.
He now knew that emotions were involved. But did he have any right to be upset? If you decided to move on, why shouldn’t he accept that? You’re doing what’s best for you.
He looks at the flowers in his passenger seat.
He was hurt by everything, but he still felt bad for dragging you into all of this in the first place. He was going to apologize and attempt to prove his worthiness as a boyfriend once more, but after seeing you so happy with another man, he isn’t sure if he had any more chances to take.
A few hours later, you receive a call from campus police.
They positively identified Reina as the person that placed the photos everywhere so they ask if you’d like to press charges for harassment while they charge her for vandalism and breaking into private property.
You nod and say “yes.” The process would be long to convict her of this crime against you, for anyone could argue that you voluntarily took the photos. But you’re determined to teach her and anyone else that thinks of posting “revenge porn” a lesson.
———
[One Week Later]
You finally receive a text from Jaehyun.
Jaehyun to You: I just got a new phone..I’m sorry for taking so long, would you like to go somewhere?
You tremble slightly and respond. You were starting to get used to not hearing from him so this shocked you
You to Jaehyun: yes
You needed to apologize again, but more importantly, you needed to know how Jaehyun felt about you after everything. Does he still want to date you? Could you make this work?
Later that day you meet up at the park.
Jaehyun arrives with Dora and sits on a bench.
You immediately sit down as well and start to per her.
“Y/n..” Jaehyun says with his warm honey voice. You always grow weak when he calls your name.
You look up at him, taking in the brokenness in his eyes
“I’m so sorry, Jaehyun..I..I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Jaehyun shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. After everything I put you through, I honestly deserved that.”
“Jaehyun..I’m so tired..I don’t know what’s going on anymore, everyone on campus thinks I’m a slut and I feel so dumb and pathetic.” You start to tear up.
“No, they don’t. They’ve already forgotten about it, okay? And come fall semester, absolutely no one will remember you as that girl.”
You sniffle and nod. Thank God for summer break.
“I think..I just need time..it’s all too much.” You look up at him and Jaehyun isn’t sure if you need time away from everything or just time away from him.
He scoots closer to you on the bench and takes your hands in his. “Don’t worry about anything, I’m here for you, okay? We can start over. We can be completely honest with each other this time.”
You look to the sky as he continues.
“Please, y/n, please come back to me. I promise to make it all right.”
If you say yes, I’ll stay, even if that means betraying my father, he thinks to himself.
You still sit quietly and think to yourself.
You loved Jaehyun, but you found yourself second guessing everything, could you truly be like how you once were. Then, there are your wandering eyes and emotions. If you loved him with all your heart, how could you possibly think of another man in that way?
And the question that screamed the loudest was why? Why did Jaehyun click the notification from Reina’s livestream in the first place?
You look back to Jaehyun who anxiously awaits your answer, his eyes glossy with tears.
“Jaehyun…I” you start to cry, you can’t hold back your emotions as you fear that deep down, you already know the answers to all of these questions.
”Do you still love me?” He asks with tears flowing in a steady stream. Your heart breaks to see his lovely eyes so red.
Your mouth falls open.
Why are you hesitating?
“I- '' want to, is what you wanted to say, but just couldn't.
You can’t answer because you know you still don’t trust him. Furthermore, you aren’t sure if you love him or only lust after him.
But still, why is your heart cracking slowly while you both cry? You can almost hear it inside your chest.
Jaehyun nods and stands up before wiping his tears away. “I won’t bother you anymore, y/n..”
“Jaehyun..don’t.” You stand up and grab his hand before he can walk away.
He pulls away and takes Dora’s leash.
Make it easy, lie and rip the band aid off.
He clears his throat. “I actually wanted to meet with you..because I’ve been thinking during our time away from each other…I don’t think I love you anymore…”
And there it was, the sound of your heart finally falling to the ground and breaking into a million pieces that were beyond repair.
You weren’t sure if you loved Jaehyun, but to hear him say he doesn’t love you is a pain unlike any other.
“…and I think it’s time to move on.” He turns away from you, knowing that the look on your face would only make him fall to the ground and sob.
But deep down, he knows he lies because it’s easier for him to decide for you. This was the only way you could move on. He had to make you hate him.
“You and I both know we only use each other for sex…this isn’t love, it never was, and it has no chance of ever being that..that’s why I cheated on you and felt no emotion.”
He turns back to you and speaks sternly. “If we were to date again, I’d probably cheat again in hopes of finding the true love I crave and don’t receive from you..”
His words stung like sharp daggers and you’re pretty sure even Caesar had an easier pain than what you feel right now.
For a few minutes, you are completely speechless and debate whether or not you should argue with him. But instead, you nod and walk away. “Okay Jaehyun, goodbye.”
You can't see your way through the park as water floods your eyeballs. You finally stop at a stream and clutch your chest.
The tears never stop, your head starts hurting and you feel yourself on the verge of a panic attack.
You call Bella who hears your gasps and panic over the phone.
“Take deep breaths! I’ll be right there!”
She rushes from home to get to you while you go dizzy.
Jaehyun has trouble driving home, his teary eyes causing the road to blur. He pulls over and pounds his fist against the steering wheel.
“Fuck!” He yells before holding his face in his hands. He didn’t expect saying goodbye to be so difficult, he didn’t expect to regret it for the rest of his life.
He just broke the heart of his one true love.
———
[A Few Months Later]
“Come on, Dora, let’s get back inside.”
Jaehyun calls after Dora to go back into his mom’s house in Korea.
His mom sits at the table as she goes over the final preparations for his father’s funeral.
The real reason Jaehyun’s father sent for him was because he was ill and only given a few months to live by doctors. He did scold him for creating such scandalous videos, but didn’t spend too much time on it as he had more pressing matters at hand.
Jaehyun deleted all social media and focused on his father’s health as a result. To you, it seemed he had fallen off the face of the Earth.
He trained Jaehyun and taught him some of what he needed to know about the business during his final days alive. Jaehyun was thankful for the opportunity and finally found himself bonding with him after all this time.
“I can teach you all about finances and numbers, Yoon Oh, but I can’t teach you about being passionate about it. At the end of the day, you’ll only regret what you didn’t do for your heart..I guess, that’s why we didn’t see eye to eye before.”
He chuckles before coughing. “It took me getting to this point to realize..All my life, I had no true passion. Nothing worth missing.”
Jaehyun sits at his father’s bedside as he prepares to say goodbye.
He cries while listening to him speak.
“You were always so passionate about art and all this stuff I didn’t understand..I didn’t respect it because I didn’t get it..but what does it matter? It’s about you.. and if it makes your heart happy…if it makes your soul complete, then why should you let it go?”
His father passed away peacefully the next day, leaving Jaehyun with wise words he’d never forget.
A few weeks after the funeral, Jaehyun is tasked with deciding whether or not to stay and gradually take over the business or to go back to college and finish his studies.
Being away from you gave Jaehyun the chance to learn more and think with a clearer mind, hence his decision to go back.
He told his mother he’d be going back only to get his degree, but really, he found his fathers words hard to ignore.
“If it makes your heart happy, if it makes your soul complete..then why should you let it go?”
For Jaehyun, this was about you. He couldn’t fight the urge to love you, he couldn’t just let you go like that.
So he leaves Dora with his mom and heads back.
He knows it will take some time to make up for his shitty actions, but he’d do whatever it takes to love you again, even if that meant watching you from a distance. Just seeing your smile and laugh was enough for him.
He’d complete his studies, but he’d always have you on his mind.
He keeps in touch with your mom without you knowing, that is, until Christmas dinner that year.
He knocks on her door and waits patiently for her to open it. It would be the first time you’d see each other since he broke up with you. It was going to be difficult, but he had to try.
What he didn’t account for was the fact that your mind may have already been set on someone else..the strange, handsome fellow named Sicheng that sat across from him now at the dinner table.
The End
Thank you again for going on this journey with me, i hoped you enjoyed it xoxo - Krys
(Hint: check out the agreement to see what happens during the Christmas dinner hehe)
#nct#nct au#nct smut#nct scenarios#jaehyun#jaehyun au#jaehyun x y/n#jaehyun x you#nct fanfic#Jaehyun boyfriend#nct romance#nct boyfriend#nct reactions#nct series#nct hard hours#nct angst#jung jaehyun#nct 127 au#nct x reader#nct x you#nct x y/n
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Dear Nex,
You're never going to see this. I know. I felt the need to write this for you anyway.
Maybe my input isn't needed because I'm cis, but I hope you and everyone else who sees this knows in spite of my gender identity and the privilege I have as a cis male that I'm aware that I have, I mean every word that I say. I never wanted to be privileged. I don't want to be privileged. I'm so incredibly sorry that I'm privileged. I know it's not right. I know it's not fair. If my input isn't needed, so be it. But I'm going to share it anyway.
My sorrow and rage and pain has not at all subsided since February 20, when I learned of your death. You've been in the back of my mind ever since. The grief and anger hasn't gone away. What your friends said about you and your family as well, shows that you were such a wonderful person. I wonder if you had social media. I would've loved to be your friend if you had Tumblr.
I find myself enjoying sunny weather and thinking "Nex would've liked this". I look at my friends' pet cats and think about Zeus. When listening to rock I wonder if you liked the song I listen to.
You were mistreated by your peers in life, because of your laugh, which I'm sure was wonderful, and the way you dressed. Being yourself cost you your life. And now even in death people refuse to respect you. Transphobes running rampant, calling you your deadname, someone here on Tumblr celebrating your death, labeled as filth. And now? Now your cause of death has been labeled as suicide. Even though absolutely none of it makes sense, and nothing adds up. It just doesn't make sense. And even if somehow you did commit suicide, the day before you did you were physically assaulted by your peers for getting fed up with being mocked. You were bullied before that too. Bullied relentlessly and mercilessly just for being you. The blood is still on their hands.
I'm utterly disgusted by the medical examiner, the state of Oklahoma, the transphobes, even myself sometimes for being so privileged because of my gender identity. I shouldn't be privileged for being cis. We should all be accepted and treated fairly and with care and love and respect. If only things were that ideal..
I'm crying now even as I write this. I so desperately wish that everything was different. That you weren't killed. That you could continue to hang out with your friends and be a kid. Making new recipes. Playing with Zeus. Playing your favorite songs. Making music, if you liked doing that.
Recently my faith and belief in God has been tested. But if there's an afterlife, a Heaven up there, I hope you're having fun and enjoying yourself up there. When I die and reach Heaven, I'll be sure to visit you.
On the other hand, if there's not a Heaven, I hope you're enjoying your eternal rest. Whatever being dead is like without an afterlife, I hope you're ok.
But until then I'm going to try my damndest to ensure your memory stays alive. Posting about you on social media and reblogging posts about you like wildfire so people never forget. I'm not going to let anyone forget you, Nex. I promise you. Me and all of the other people grieving here on Tumblr will continue to say your name, whether our shouts fall on deaf ears or not. We're never going to be silenced.
I raise my cup to you, Nex. You will be avenged. Justice will be served.
I didn't know you and I never will. You never knew me and you never will. But all the same, even if we're eternally strangers, I love you, Nex Benedict. I'm sorry the school failed you, I'm sorry the ambulance failed you, I'm sorry Oklahoma failed you, I'm sorry the world failed you. And perhaps I failed you somehow. And I'm so unbelievably sorry if I did. But I hope keeping your memory alive, and saying your name, and seeking justice can make up for it.
Until we're angels in Heaven once more.
Love, truly,
Finley
#queued#nex benedict#say his name#justice for nex benedict#rip nex benedict#tw transphobes#tw transphobia#cw transphobes#cw sui mention#cw death#tw death#transgender#trans lives matter#the trevor project#keep trans people safe#trans lives are human lives#trans lives are valid#protect trans kids#protect trans lives#protect trans youth#protect trans rights#protect nonbinary kids#protect trans men
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Por Being a Static Character in DFF
DFF Gives a great look on what happens when you’re backed up against a wall. Each of the boys have different paths but they all have different perspectives on what they want and how they will get it. Note: this is not me diminishing them being lil 💩 heads!
Static Character: is a type of character who remains largely the same throughout the course of the storyline. Their environment may change, but they retain the same personality and outlook as they had at the beginning of the story.
The friend group are in retrospect a bunch of boys who all have differing lives but also expectations of who they will be. Por, for example, is a great character to use to compare class systems between he and the other members of the group.
Por
Por is a character who does not really change from the three years that past. Maybe he is a bit remorseful but definitely not enough to care to fix things. Non is "gone" and that leaves everything pretty finished off for him. When you look at the line up we see in flashbacks that the more obvious bully is Por. He treats Non like crap, pushes him around, talks bad about him, steals from him, and even lies on him. But when you look at him versus the other members, he's just a basic school bully who comes from a rich family with high expectations.
He is the easiest character to kill off because your immediate thought is, "well this dude is the worst" but is he? Outside of him taking the script which, as we see, is the least of Non's problems, couldn't Non have survived that abuse in the long run? He is fed up with their crap but he isn't completely fed up just about a script being taken. It's everything all at once. Killing Por gives the series the feeling of revenge and unidealistic redemption. You can see why someone would want him dead which is why he had to go first.
Him living would be quite useless in the grand scheme of things. If he had lived up to this point what exactly would his character be able to confess that the general public doesn't know? Everyone knows that script was not his and that he outwardly bullied Non the most. That wouldn't make for a great reveal at the end. His death is purely used to scare the other members and progress the story further. His death meant the drugs can really induce the fear living in each one of the other members of the group. He does not change much in the three years that follow Non's disappearance because he is made to be the character you focus on the most. You immediately hate him (whether or not you agree he deserves death) but he isn't exactly an antagonist. There really isn't one bad guy in this story. Everyone plays direct or indirect roles in Non's demise.
He also can be seen as a foil to Non. Where he has money, name recognition, and everything he "should" want in the world, he is miserable. He doesn't get affection from his parents and when he does it all comes from a lie. Then you have Non who is poor, relatively friendless, and an outsider. They make the perfect bully and victim in any type of media. But this show is not about a bully and his one victim. It's about what can happen when you break a person down so far they have nothing to lose. So, for that reason, Por can't change. He can't be remorseful (and I do not count about to be paled to death and whining as remorse) or filled with guilt because that is besides the point.
a/n: Anyway tell me what you all think! Is there another archetype you think he can fall under? Let me know below!
#us nititorn#por dff#dead friend forever the series#dff#dead friend forever#pheejin#pheenon#tacopper#tacode#tabarcode#phinon#ta nannakun#dff spoilers#dead friend forever spoilers#barcode tinnasit#dff analysis
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https://www.tumblr.com/jgnico/729415078056755200/stop-taking-nanamis-words-for-why-gojo-did-what
Hey mimi!! Hope ur having a nice day!! I really love your thoughts and metas its a very insightful!!! And ur fanfics god i hold them so tenderly in my hands each time i read them!! thank you for making them!! And i wanted to ask: whats your thoughts on this ?
i’m so sorry this reply is so late, i’ve been a little busy these days 😭 but i love this post so much! it’s so well-written and well-articulated!
most people in the story don’t understand gojo; the whole point of 236 was to hammer that home. gojo died misunderstood. (well—if you don’t count geto understanding him, i guess. and some of his students try to, his friends, too, but that’s besides the point. most people didn’t. doesn’t mean they were incapable of loving him, though.)
i understand nanami’s sentiments here. to nanami, gojo was the guy who could’ve solved everything, who could’ve prevented deaths, who could’ve prevented haibara’s death. to nanami, gojo was the embodiment of the system. of idle power. it’s a little similar to geto’s point of view in shinjuku: why the hell should he try and sympathize with someone who can do it all? gojo is different. he’s not like us.
really, i believe most of the characters in the story feel this way about him, this attitude of begrudging hope because though he is an enigma in their eyes, he is also a beacon of hope because if gojo exists, then a better world is possible. they see the idea of him before they see him for who he actually is. they see his dictated role before they see him.
but here’s the thing: gojo is readable to us. as readers of the story, we should be able to understand him and what motivates him, we should be able to understand his alienation and loneliness more than anyone in the story. because he is wholly readable and thus knowable, because we see the things the other characters don’t. we should know him by how he was written, not by other characters’ perception of him. that’s subsidiary.
(if anything, other than supplementary information on gojo, the characters’ opinions on him tell us more about them and the world they live in, not about gojo.)
i think this juxtaposition between the perception of gojo and just gojo himself is best shown in his conversation with geto. there, he talks about being familiar with isolation (his metaphorical infinity) and his longing to be understood. right after, nanami chimes in and offers his opinion about gojo. i do think the writing could’ve been done more effectively (after all, the chronology makes the scene a little confusing), but it’s still plainly written for us to read.
gojo’s efforts to better the system shouldn’t be wiped off the board just because nanami said he fought for fun. we know him, we’ve read him, we’ve witnessed him give second chances to kids who’ve lost hope. we’ve seen gojo’s care. i don’t think this is a case of just selfishness or just selflessness. don’t fall into the trap of black and white thinking.
gojo was jujutsu’s pillar. i imagine if you grow up with enough people telling you who you are—what you are, really—you’d start to internalize it and learn your role. to his core, gojo was a guy who never acknowledged his subconscious and what lay beneath it because of this. a mental infinity, a metaphorical infinity. almost there but not quite; he never got to the root of things, whether it be changing the system or figuring out why he was the way he was. he was never thorough. (isn’t that why “geto” came back anyway? because he didn’t “finish the job”?)
but, hey—his given name is satoru (enlightenment). perhaps there’s more to his story.
(or maybe he died in irony.)
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WE NEED TO TALK. (Please. I just finished Season 6 again.) They didn't even show El's reaction to you know what. Not even Jones' not even Diana's not even June's. To them, it must have been devastating news. To lose Neal so shortly before his supposed release. They weren't giving him true freedom but they believed they would. They wished it for him. He must have a memorial somewhere and how often does Peter visit it??? To us and to Neal, it was closure, but to everyone else it was a shocking end to a high-profile, but otherwise normal case. To unexpectedly lose a colleague like that, and not just that... NEAL of all people... someone they'd worked with for more than two years... do you think Peter has his picture hanging on the wall next to Siegel's. Do you.
ohmygod ohmygod okay yes please. Its been years and i've rewatched it countless times and i'm still devastated over his loss and how it must have affected everyone. part of me thinks that the show-runners didn't include all of the mourning so that the show wouldn't end on that heavy of a note but !!!! closure !!! PLEASE !
like, he had become family to Peter and El and June, and we see nothing of how the news affects El and June. Neal was someone El loved, dearly, someone who ate meals at their house and who became a constant, welcome presence. He was El's "partner in crime" and the person she'd go to whenever Peter wasn't the suitable option (whether because the issue was concern for Peter, or because she didn't want Peter to worry). She lost a friend, family member (almost lover, depending on if you're into that ship), and on top of that, she lost him while pregnant (with the son they name after neal).
and June? she's left again with a big, quiet empty house afterward, except now she's lost both Byron and Neal. And we don't get to see how she copes with that!! Obviously she has other family, and she still has Mozzie, but it's not the same.
Diana and Jones too of course, almost more so, because they go from spending every week day with Neal, to...an empty desk and Peter's probably all-consuming grief, if the little epilogue is anything to go by (him still faltering, still seeing Neal where he isn't, after so much time has passed). Like, yes he was a colleague, and a pain in the ass colleague at that, but he was also.. the person they'd have drinks with, when their personal lives were falling apart. Neal is the one who helped Diana through the end of her long-term relationship! He's more than just a coworker to these people!
And don't get me started on Sara. "To another time, another life. To another us" Sara, who loved Neal so much she could barely bear Neal's (fake but really real) proposal, and who clearly dreamed of another version of the world where they could be together. Who gives her the news? Does she book the next flight to New York for his funeral? Assuming Neal doesn't immediately seek her out once he's in Europe, she has to cope with losing who she probably considered the love of her life.
And we don't get to see any their grieving process at all. Again, i know a big drawn out funeral doesn't really fit the tone of the show, but it still feels like such a robbery (haha) of an opportunity to see the positive impact Neal had on so many people. In a way, I think it was almost a failing on the show-runners' parts, because it would have continued to humanize Neal in the way that the show had spent all six seasons doing. Like, this is a pathological thief and liar with a mile-long list of crimes, but he is also human and loved and loving!! He has no biological family, but he has become family to almost every person in his life. And then suddenly he's gone and life goes on and we don't know how any of them (aside from Peter and Moz) handle the news of his death. It makes me so sad.
This is getting so long oops. Anyway. He definitely has a memorial, and Peter probably visits so often that El worries (she visits often too, of course, but Peter goes every weekend, at first, and maybe more often on bad days, or when there are cases that make him think of Neal, either because they'd be easier to solve with Neal's help, or because they look like something he'd have done).
Honestly, I'm not sure if Peter would keep Neal's photo next to Siegel's. I think, for the first few months at least, he wouldn't. I think it would hurt too much. Maybe there's one out in the main room by Neal's desk, and once Peter can walk past that one without choking up, he puts one up in his office.
#benji talks#asks#white collar#neal caffrey#peter burke#elizabeth burke#diana berrigan#clinton jones#mozzie
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how do you think levi dealt with erwin's death? was he distant for awhile from others, trying to deal with his feelings by himself? was he feeling guilty of not killing the beast titan?
i also saw a post which said that "isayama said levi had become weaker after erwin's death" which was actually without any sources or whatsoever.. anyways, what are your thoughts?
i want to cover that "fact" first.
lol it depends on your perspective whether levi in fact got “weaker”, but that has ultimately nothing to do with isayama's comment on levi's state after his death, because that's a gross mistranslation.
that quote is from an interview done with isayama in 2017 and has to do with the impact of erwin's death and dreams. specifically relevant to that statement, isayama doesn't say that levi is weak now, but that he's like a balloon dangling in the air, in limbo, or aimless. partly because levi felt that they'd completed their role when they reached the sea (confirmed by ch136), and partly because levi needs to kill the beast titan, but he can't at that point, and not out of a lack of trying.
i can't say "aimless" is a relative to "weaker" when both reasons for that are simply out of levi's control.
levi can contend with weakness from grief at this point in his life. the pain he feels from losing erwin is extremely powerful, but what is more powerful is the conviction he feels to keep fighting as a result of both it and the context of his death.
so do i think levi is weaker after his death? yes and no. levi's state is just way more complex than the wider fandom seems to give isayama credit for writing (and everything in general tbh).
canonically, levi retrieved erwin's remains after everything was said and done, and he got a special memorial/funeral. so it's not like he was in denial at least, or it was an event that he refused to acknowledge.
1: i definitely see him distancing himself emotionally from the others. not once in season 4 does levi even use erwin's name while thinking of him until chapter 136 while reconciling the scouts' dream, and not choosing erwin back then.
he doesn't open up about erwin in a significant way to anyone, although hange and levi sometimes talk about him, such as when (in marley w/ the 104th passed out drunk) hange says that erwin was the type of person who would've tried feeding carrots to the cars and levi agrees.
2: i think there's certainly grief levi stuffed down in the moment like a dam that's been waiting to burst since the day it happened, with the wall keeping it at bay being (1) zeke's still being alive, and (2) the meaning of everyone's sacrifices, especially on that day, being unaccounted for. the biggest reason he could get along like this is by compartmentalizing imo
3: feeling guilty implies feeling regret, so no not in the immediate fallout. as a result of his grief, he has more strength, and as a result of the poor outcome of his choice, he has more conviction to carry his goals out.
erwin says this in the anime adaptation of acwnr, and levi says it in his special side-monologue story: having regrets allows others around you to make your choices for you, will make you hesitate, make you fall victim to your emotions, and get killed. this is exactly what happened to levi when his 30 comrades were titanized in the forest by zeke, only because of his ackerman blood, he didn't die.
that's more of a tangent than anything, but point is, it weighed on him more over time.
4: naturally, his nightmares got worse. sleeping was even harder. he was certainly depressed. also, i strongly feel that levi coped realllyy poorly with his failure to kill zeke by over-exercising, to the point where (probably) hange had to step in and force him to do other duties.
#doesnt have to be read as shipping#eruri#aot levi#levi ackerman hc#eruri hc#levi ackerman snk#snk levi#captain levi#captain levi ackerman#levi heichou#eruri aot#levi.thoughts
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