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pesterloglog · 4 months

Text

Dave Strider, John Egbert, Jade Harley

Act 6, page 6302-6323

DAVE: so weird being back here

DAVE: cant believe how long ago it feels since i lived in this place

DAVE: spent way too long wallowing in our own filth on that gnarly meteor thats for sure

DAVE: this doesnt even seem like my room anymore

DAVE: its like trespassing or something like im horning in on somebody elses life

DAVE: a life lived most sweetly though i will admit

DAVE: ahahaha the fuckin toilets still there

DAVE: i remember when jade put that there that is perhaps like my favorite memory

DAVE: wish jade wasnt crazy just makes me remember how much i miss not crazy jade

DAVE: or less crazy jade

DAVE: wait

DAVE: didnt karkat once say terezi ripped a troll toilet out of his house

DAVE: what is with girls and their universally constant tendency to rip out plumbing fixtures

DAVE: did i just accidentally crack another cosmic riddle or

DAVE: i gotta txt him and get confirmation on this asap

DAVE: actually nah

DAVE: i probably harangued the poor guy with enough of my bs the last few years

DAVE: ill just keep shufflin thru memory lane making wistful observations out loud

DAVE: you know it kinda chaps my bulge that people rip on me for talking to myself

DAVE: its like the most perfectly natural thing to do

DAVE: why are people so up tight about keepin a lid on their monologues what a bunch of stuffy pricks

DAVE: ive always found the sound of my own voice to be mysteriously soothing

DAVE: haha talk about an embarrassing sentence to say in earshot of an actual person

DAVE: well maybe not the mayor

DAVE: you can always tell the mayor anything <3

DAVE: hahaha this piece of shit is still here too

DAVE: didnt we use this thing like ONCE

DAVE: what a useless pile of trash in hindsight

DAVE: sometimes i think this game was designed by an idiot

DAVE: wasnt it called like

DAVE: the laserbeam intellivision or something

DAVE: id throw it in the lava but that would be a waste of melting

DAVE: oh yeah

DAVE: almost forgot about my ill beats from the past

DAVE: i wonder if theyre as ill as i remember

DAVE: ok i just pushed some buttons and verified they remain as ill as the day they were dropped

DAVE: ill have to send them to karkat he has always been an enthusiastic patron of my exceptional science

DAVE: i mean sure he says it sucks and maybe he even believes that on some pathetic sub intellectual plane of consciousness which gross philistines operate on their whole lives

DAVE: but whenever he gets a load of my hype

DAVE: i see him there

DAVE: tapping his foot ever so slightly

DAVE: i see him

DAVE: this poster...

DAVE: love this poster

DAVE: its like an old friend

DAVE: never even knew who these guys were or what their deal was

DAVE: never gave it much thought i guess

DAVE: doubt ill ever find out at this point

DAVE: oh well

DAVE: some things i guess were never meant to be figured out

DAVE: or benefit from any kind of elaboration

DAVE: not even years later

DAVE: just the way it is sometimes

DAVE: its like ive said before

DAVE: this poster is a hell of a mystery

DAVE: that i never even thought was a mystery

DAVE: and it would be pretty cool if somebody solved it

DAVE: but damn if thats ever gonna happen

DAVE: so thats a shame

DAVE: aw hell its my old dead things collection

DAVE: what a stupid blast from the past

DAVE: i seriously cannot remember if i was sincere with this shit

DAVE: i was probably trying to flex my underdeveloped irony muscles

DAVE: like the shrimpiest kid at the hipster gym

DAVE: why does my childhood room have to be such a predictable museum of embarrassments

DAVE: i dont know

DAVE: some of these things are kind of cool actually

DAVE: like from a standpoint of objective reevaluation afforded by the sobering maturity that comes with being literally 100% grown up now

DAVE: dead things are actually pretty rad

DAVE: i feel like if i was legitmately into all this then more should have come of the interest

DAVE: like there could have been like

DAVE: entire CONVERSATIONS about it that never even took place

DAVE: hey rose youll never guess what im excited about and have loads of dialogue to spill over

DAVE: whats that dave

DAVE: ancient mollusks

DAVE: hmmmmmmmm said rose

DAVE: how many bananas do you think this paw clutched back when it was alive and attached to a monkey

DAVE: dave i really must say

DAVE: this conversation blows

DAVE: yeah sorry

DAVE: maybe i could have really developed this interest

DAVE: maybe i could have been something cool as a result

DAVE: like what even profession is this

DAVE: a dead shit ogler?

DAVE: no wait

DAVE: probably a paleontologist or something

DAVE: i could have been a paleontologist

DAVE: instead of what i became

DAVE: which was

DAVE: uh

DAVE: some pajama packing fuckface from the renaissance fair

DAVE: that would have been the dopeness!

DAVE: eurgh

DAVE: the ironic selfies

DAVE: oh god

DAVE: now this

DAVE: this is some irredeemably mortifying shit here

DAVE: what was i thinking

DAVE: i dont know man

DAVE: i just dont know

DAVE: this is what seasoned veterans call "bad irony"

DAVE: look at this guy

DAVE: what a fucking novice

DAVE: oh who am i kidding

DAVE: i cant stay mad at that face

DAVE: ok this one is pretty funny actually

DAVE: ...

DAVE: eheheh

DAVE: hehehehe

DAVE: haha!

DAVE: hahahahahaha!

DAVE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

DAVE: WHY

DAVE: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DAVE: (gasp)

DAVE: WHY CANT

DAVE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DAVE: WHY CANT I STOP LAUGHING

DAVE: PFFFFAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DAVE: YOU WIN!

DAVE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

DAVE: YOU WIN YOUNG DAVE

DAVE: THESE SELFIES ARE COMEDY GOLD

DAVE: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

JOHN: hi dave!

JOHN: what's so funny?

DAVE: whoa

DAVE: john

JOHN: what were you looking at there...

JOHN: hey, are you crying?

DAVE: what

DAVE: no

JOHN: ...

DAVE: i mean i was just laughing too hard at something dumb

DAVE: you know how it is

JOHN: heh, yeah.

JOHN: can i see?

DAVE: no its nothing

DAVE: where the fuck have you been

DAVE: do you remember what happened since we got here

JOHN: yes.

DAVE: well

DAVE: are you gonna fill me in or keep floating there in the most uninformative way possible

JOHN: uh oh.

JOHN: dave, i have to go!

DAVE: what

DAVE: why

JOHN: i can't hang around in one place for too long.

JOHN: let's catch up later, ok?

DAVE: john wait

JOHN: see you buddy!

DAVE: no dont

DAVE: john no stop turning into wind you fickle idiot

DAVE: dont just leave right away that is such an insanely predictable move

DAVE: i said get back here you slippery motherfucker!!!

JADE: hello dave

DAVE: god dammit

JADE: he was just here wasnt he

DAVE: no

JADE: how do you even know who im talking about??

DAVE: look all i know is egbert most definitely didnt just appear out of nowhere and catch me weeplaughing at my selfies

JADE: dave i know he was just here

JADE: i can smell him

DAVE: i keep my apparment misted with his odor at all times

DAVE: essence d'egbert

JADE: degbear?

JADE: what...

DAVE: no like the french pronunciation

JADE: ah

DAVE: anyway im just a lot more comfortable when my whole place reeks of nerd musk

DAVE: so that explains that

JADE: you cant fool me dave

JADE: i will track him down sooner or later

JADE: in any case it doesnt matter

JADE: i came here to see you, not him

DAVE: you did

JADE: come with me

DAVE: where

JADE: out here

JADE: we have some work to do

DAVE: what work

JADE: youre going to need to upgrade your weapon

DAVE: what

DAVE: you mean the deringer

JADE: yes

DAVE: i thought it was like the best possible sword

DAVE: or at least the best possible broken sword

JADE: that may very well be the case

JADE: but it will be useless against lord english

JADE: wouldnt you prefer a weapon that is capable of inflicting damage against him?

DAVE: uh

DAVE: not really?

JADE: of course you would

JADE: this isnt even up for discussion

JADE: now give me the deringer

JADE: we have all been traveling for three long years. what better way to celebrate our reunion than with a little alchemy? :)

DAVE: lots of ways

DAVE: we could have a jade goes back to normal party

DAVE: starring normal jade

JADE: HAR HAR

JADE: gimme the sword

DAVE: ok here

DAVE: how do we make it so it can damage him

JADE: it needs a special ingredient

JADE: something which represents his only known weakness, but hasnt been properly weaponized

DAVE: and you know what that is

JADE: i do

DAVE: how

JADE: i get all my intelligence on such matters from the old lady

JADE: shes had centuries to hatch a plan to settle her score

JADE: over time shes uncovered many secrets about him

DAVE: i dont understand how this is working

DAVE: is she piping all these secrets into your brain

DAVE: along with the evil

JADE: that is not relevant!

DAVE: fair enough

DAVE: i guess technically almost nothing is relevant to the dude youre barking orders to

DAVE: literal barking because of dogginess

JADE: bark bark bark!!!

DAVE: yes exactly like that

DAVE: thank you for participating in the joke

DAVE: now what is this special ingredient and where do we get it

JADE: i already have it right here

DAVE: oh yeah?

JADE: in fact ive had it for about as long as i can remember

JADE: it was right under my doggy snout all along

JADE: remember this?

DAVE: no

JADE: dave are you lying to me?

DAVE: no!

DAVE: ive never seen that thing before

JADE: but i found it on your planet

JADE: it must have gotten here somehow

DAVE: i didnt take your lousy egg

JADE: its not an egg!

DAVE: yeah well these planets are crawling with brainless lizards maybe one of them thought it was an egg

DAVE: and then brought it here cause its warm here and tried to hatch it

JADE: you really have a one track mind when it comes to certain things

DAVE: what things

DAVE: what are you talking about

JADE: davesprite was like that too... i just figured it was because he was part bird

JADE: but no, here you are going on about bird things too just like him :p

DAVE: come on dont compare me to him

DAVE: just cause i think its an eggy looking thing dont mean i think like a damn bird

JADE: mm hmm

JADE: and just because i have these pointy ears doesnt mean i wouldnt kill for some snausages right now!

DAVE: .....................

DAVE: do you actually want snausages

JADE: .....................

JADE: maybe ._.

DAVE: ok well snausages notwithstanding this is bullshit

DAVE: tell me how that thing doesnt look like an egg to you

DAVE: how is that not so obviously SUCH an egg???

JADE: its a cueball dave!

DAVE: i see

DAVE: so if im following

DAVE: then what youre trying to tell me is

DAVE: lord english has some sort of severe egg allergy that we are hoping to exploit

JADE: sigh

JADE: i see its still impossible to have a serious conversation with you, whether you are a sassy bird or not

JADE: i thought regular dave might have matured a little over three years but i guess i was wrong

DAVE: can we just make the eggsword already

DAVE: oh no

DAVE: not the legendary piece of shit again

JADE: pardon?

DAVE: its the fuckin welsh sword again!

JADE: are you telling me you have seen this sword before dave

JADE: how is that possible?

DAVE: i dont know!

DAVE: because i have a shitty quest is how

JADE: .....

DAVE: didnt davesprite tell you anything

DAVE: i found this sword in a gold cave and broke it

DAVE: then davesprite took it to hephaestus who fixed it and upgraded it to the deringer

DAVE: and sent that to me and i broke it again

JADE: you sure seem to break swords a lot

DAVE: i know!!!

DAVE: that has always been my thing for some reason

DAVE: now i guess it turns out my ultimate sword is really just a repaired downgrade of my previously ultimate sword mixed with a cueball?

DAVE: we just cycled right back to caledfwelsh like a bunch of tools

DAVE: that is the most stupid convoluted ass backward way to get a sword out of a stone i can even imagine

DAVE: i feel like somebody somewhere is having a good laugh over this i sure hope like the juggalo equivalent of fuckin loki or whoever the fuck is having a top notch riddlewank at my expense

JADE: :|

DAVE: you know what really gets me is

DAVE: this shitty welsh sword presumably consisted of those ingredients all along which just makes me want to travel back in time to perform a mutually assisted suicide with myself

DAVE: me and other dave can take turns suffocating each other with our own DUMBASS capes

JADE: dave i admit this is a peculiar turn of events, but i think you are overreacting

DAVE: jade this is STUPID

DAVE: my quest is a STUPID PIECE OF GARBAGE QUEST for LAME SHITTY LOSER FUCKHEADS WHO SUCK BALLS WHILE CRAPPING THEIR PANTS

JADE: omg

JADE: youve really spent way too much time alone with karkat havent you

DAVE: ...

DAVE: i need help :(

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4lph4kidz · 2 years

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What would Roxy English be like in a kidswap

I don't have many ideas for Roxy English right off the bat, but I'll lay out my thoughts for you anyway - typed up way too much about this so I'm answering under the cut!

I guess it depends on the exact version of the AU, for my interpretation at least I'm switching the classes and keeping the aspects. (Not sure about the dreaming moons though.) I'm also keeping the guardians the same because I don't really feel like altering the backstories too much right now.

This would make my version Roxy English a Page of Void, which is. A tricky classpect to understand, even if we do having a canon example in Horuss. It doesn't help that I don't think I have the most thorough understanding of Roxy's character, at least not in a way it's easy for me to write in an AU. She really is inscrutable.

It'd probably be really difficult for her to get to grips with her classpect herself. Pages already have difficult truly grasping their aspect, and trying to understand the essence of nothingness itself / the obscuration of information is probably going to be particularly tricky.

This is what Aranea says about Horuss, some of which would probably apply to Page of Void Roxy English.

The Page of Void was a self taught master of mechanics, an avid patron of the fine arts, a passionate 8ody 8uilder, archer, am8rosia collector and steamwright. A poet, a scholar, a warrior, a lover, he was all that his caste demanded and more. A true troll Renaissance man. His name means "He Who Stalks With The Muscle8easts." 8ut all of his proficiencies were hard won, 8uilt from the 8lank slate as his aspect would imply, advancing at the slow pace his class would as well. Yet in spite of all he worked to make something of himself, he amounted to very little. Responsi8le for neither great feats of heroism nor acts of villainy, he was just another game piece to 8e moved a8out the 8oard. The aspect ruling his life would always conspire to dampen his relevance. Void is easily the most mysterious aspect, the one which inherently defies rational understanding. This makes it particularly fascinating, and just as frustrating, to light players such as myself. Casting illumination upon nothing itself is futile. For to truly know void is to paradoxically cause it not to 8e! The role of the void player is to somehow em8race nothingness, to 8ecome one with it. And yet in total contradiction with this, to make use of the power it grants and serve a role of relevance, one must find a way to overcome it! To see the limitless potential in the void. To find everything within nothing, and 8ring it into 8eing.

Sounds rough. Maybe Roxy English would be better off as a Rogue of Hope, but unfortunately Jake Lalonde has xir designs on that title. Xir mom said it was their turn on the Rogue class AND the gender.

Anyway, as I understand Roxy, her core personality is very social and playful, though her main motivator is loneliness and and a profound sense of loss. She does her best to deal though. She's pretty much an optimistic nihilist type, though her resourcefulness could also tie back in to her nature as a Rogue of Void.

Roxy Lalonde was very overtly concerned with meeting her long-lost family, so if Roxy English suddenly loses her grandmother like Jake did, I’m sure she’d feel that way even more keenly. Both Roxy and Mom Lalonde seem fixated on funerals, so I'm sure Roxy's English reaction to her grandmother's death would tie into that somehow. She might not be able to save the body from the monsters, but she might try to build something to commemorate her anyway, like Jasper's mausoleum, except filled with stuff like a pharaoh's tomb. She might even pull a Jade and treat her guardian as if she is still alive.

Roxy in canon mentions one of the reasons she started drinking was to feel closer to her mother, so Roxy English might try and imitate her grandmother in a similar way. Probably she would lean into the mad scientist thing a lot more, maybe trying to take up gardening as well. Perhaps a void player would have better luck with the pumpkins than Jake did. She would probably use the appearifier a lot better than he did too, collecting all sorts of things (she "wants for nothing", since pages tend to lack their aspect starting off?) maybe even to the point that she gets overwhelmed with the clutter.

Also I wouldn't be surprised if Roxy English still fell asleep a lot, being drawn to the void, and mirroring both pre-scratch Jade's narcolepsy and Jake getting knocked the fuck out on multiple occasions.

Roxy would still land on Earth with Mutie, which would probably still result in her being fascinated by ectobiology and cats. That might extend to liking animals in general. I like the idea of her going out of her way to study the biology of lusii even if she's afraid of them. If there are any big cat Lusii on the island, she might try to befriend them - and it might even work? Maybe she gets adopted as a Nepeta proxy, the same way Jake was sort of adopted by the fairy bulls as a Tavros proxy. Though the cats are fierce hunters, probably much harder to wrangle than the bulls. And Roxy always seems to kill her cats....

I’m not sure about her relationships yet, but without the post apocalyptic Adam and Eve complex thing going on, she’s probably going to be a bit less, uh, fixated on the idea of having children. But she’s still very socially orientated and might still be on the flirty side.

To dive back into classpect stuff - Horuss is also basically in denial about his relationship with Rufioh, which I think is also tied to his classpect, letting his deliberate ignorance serve him better than the harsh truth would, but holding himself back as he does so. Perhaps Roxy English does something similar, insisting she's in a relationship with Dirk, or whoever she gets a crush on in this timeline. She probably also has a similar way of dealing with the terrifying reality of living on Hellmurder Island, perhaps she convinces herself that she's living in paradise with a bunch of cool creature friends who definitely don't want to eat her. It's fine. She's fine! They'll stop attacking her any day now, she's getting sooooo close to finding the secrets of taming them! And uh. Well if she winds up having to kill them in self defence, at least she stands to learn something from dissecting their corpses...?

Pages seem to have difficulty in managing the reality of their situations in general, I guess. I also like the idea that pages often rely on an imaginary friend figure, but who that might be in this case I'm not sure. Perhaps her grandmother. Rather than an “imaginary” friend I like the idea that it might be actually be the ghost of Calliope or even Alt Calliope, out in the void.

Also I’ve seen people depict Roxy English with a cat skull on her shirt, which is cute!

#alcohol mention #if anybody has any other ideas they can add on #because i'm not necessarily super confident abt these ideas #kidswap #kidswap bs

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bruh-haikyuu · 4 years

Text

@arcangel-wings REQUESTED: Heya! I’m new to your blog and I really like your writing! Can I request Tenma Udai with an s/o who’s a baker while he’s in hs? So like he’s a delinquent and she’s a sweetheart who’s always giving people the stuff she bakes? Everyone thinks it’s weird but they fit together kinda thing 🥺?

A/N: Thanks for requesting!! This is über cute. Fem!Reader as alluded in the request^^

kilig. | udai tenma

word count: 2155

warnings: manga spoilers!!

(n.) the rush or the inexplicable joy one feels after seeing or experiencing something romantic

“Chocolate is the ingredient for love~!” you say after pouring what seems to be an entire bucketful of chocolate chips into your bowl.

Your friend Saeko has seen just about enough of your nonsensical chatter about baking, your boyfriend and your abundant love for both. Already exhausted from a recent scolding by the vice-principal, she decides that it’s better off to smile and nod rather than try to come up with a snarky remark for your innocent mania.

“T-That’s a lot of chocolate,” she blurts out. When she picks up her spatula from the bowl, the girl grumbles at the sight of a liquidy trail drizzling down the utensil. “Ahh geez, it’s not supposed to be like this, isn’t it? Katagiri-sensei’s going to fail me again...”

You smile and hand her a bowl of flour. “Don’t worry, Saeko-chan. Just add a bit more flour and you’re good to go! You can never go wrong with cookies.”

The halo above your head is nearly visible. Saeko swears she can even hear angels singing to her in the background as you mix away on your fragrant bowl of dough. You don’t even seem real—from your angelic grin down to your overwhelmingly flowery aura. It��s tough enough to imagine that you’d ever talk to her of all people, but to imagine you’d go for a guy who’s just as much of a thug...

Unthinkable! Saeko shakes her head. She’d thought you’d pulled a joke on her the first time you announced that you were dating... him. Udai Tenma, star of the Boys’ Volleyball Club, a red-hot beacon of undomesticated temper.

She’d always known you liked him—though which part of him you liked is somewhat still a mystery to her—and as much as Saeko wanted to protect you from those ruffians, that absolutely infatuated look in your eyes was too much to bear. And eventually, she succumbed to your incessant ambitions of high school romance.

“You’re a saint, dude,” she sighs longingly. “I don’t get how you’re still dating that guy. I’m not really one to say anything about this, but don’t you think Udai’s kind of a jerk with the way he treats you?”

You chuckle, like a sweet grandmother about to tell a nostalgic tale to her grandchildren.

“I suppose you can say that Tenma-kun is a bit shy. He likes to act tough and mighty when he’s around people, but he’s actually just a normal boyfriend with a very sweet tooth and a penchant for manga.”

Saeko scowls. “Normal’s normal, but you have to at least let him know that you have your limits too. I really can’t stand leaving the two of you alone, w-what if Udai breaks your heart, or worse—”

“Tanaka-san. If you have time for chatter back there, then surely, you’re finished with your cookies?” at the sound of the grouchy Home Economics teacher at the front of the class, Saeko quickly returns to her bowl in a sorry attempt to look busy.

Deciding to humor her interest, you lean towards her and whisper lowly. “I’ll be fine, Saeko-chan. He may not look like it, but Tenma-kun’s actually very cute.”

In her mind, it’s much easier to simply handcuff herself to you so that you’re under her watch at all times possible. But your gaze is nothing short of genuine—you really love this guy, and the fact that you’re still with him, assures Saeko even just a tiny bit that he might not be so bad after all... with you at least.

You’re already storming away in your little world of baking. It amuses your best friend whenever you’re off making your personal masterpieces (“‘Masterpiece’ is absolutely right!” she’d say while stuffing her mouth full of your mini tarts). Each and every one of your creations are whipped up with the utmost amount of love and care, and for just the right reasons, everyone’s been pestering you to set up a bakery after high school. Your regular patrons just happen to be the Karasuno Boys’ Volleyball Club—with the addition of the lively Coach Ukai who is rather fond of how much filling you put into your red bean buns.

As regular as regular can be, you’ve found yourself visiting the Volleyball Club clubroom after school every Wednesday to hand out your treats to not only your aloof boyfriend, but also to his friends, his coach and the prostrated manager who direfully needs a pick-me-up. And suddenly, you’re ‘Karasuno’s Cookie Goddess’.

“Ah, you’re making another batch, Y/N?” Saeko perks up when you split your dough in half.

“Yep!” you giggle, essentially a high school student drowning in love. “I want to make something special for Tenma-kun today.”

“... What’s the occasion? Is it his birthday or something?”

You shrug, face absolutely alight. “Nope, I just want to give him a surprise~”

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Tenma isn’t exactly unapproachable. It’s just that people tend to avoid him at all costs. Perhaps you were just bold... or remarkably stupid, but if you hadn’t addressed him that day, life would’ve probably been drabber.

Your parents and your friends (with emphasis towards your overprotective Saeko-chan) had shown their unfiltered concern when the news of your relationship circulated like wildfire. What was the analogy they used, again?

“You’re like a rabid bridge troll and a rabbit! It doesn’t work!” You could only laugh at their valiant efforts of a correlation... if they were really trying to make one. But after a few more reassuring pushes and awkward family dinners, they’ve come to be more lenient about your little ‘liaison’.

But you never feel like you have to worry when Tenma is around. In fact, when Tenma is around, you feel calm—even when he’s spouting off curses to a taller rival.

There’s a warmth unlike any other when he holds or kisses you. And though you’d have to drive him through hell and waters to say it out loud, you already know that every action he does for you is out of love. Words are material, it’s the action that counts, right?

“Sorry for the intrusion~!” you call out into the open doors of the Boys’ Volleyball Club’s space.

A flash of obnoxious yellow hair flashes before your eyes and suddenly, an imposingly tall figure appears in front of you out of nowhere. “Cookie Goddess!”

“Good afternoon, Yukimura-kun,” you smile. “Is there only you right now?”

“I’m here too, Y/N-chan,” the lax-faced captain Tokito emerges from the room in the midst of zipping up his jacket. His eyes flicker towards the packages in your hands and a smile cracks on his face. “Ooh, chocolate chip cookies today~”

You quickly raise the fragrant bags of treats into their view, bringing in the remaining swamp of boys from the clubroom. Suddenly, the common hallway is blocked by an influx of starving teenagers who are rampaging on about your existence.

“So good...” Yukimura murmurs dreamily, mouth full of chocolate. “Man, anyone would be lucky to have you as their wife if you were to cook them these everyday.”

A brazen first-year with frosted tips elbow him and sighs. “Too bad you’re taken, huh, Y/N-chan-senpai? If it were me instead of him, I’d always make it a point that ‘Heeey... guess what my girlfriend made for me today~ Isn’t she the best—”

“Oi, brat. Whose girlfriend do you think you’re talking about?”

The gangle of boys freeze up simultaneously at the grouchy voice behind you (aside from Tokito, who’s yawning at the whole ordeal). Whipping around to the dark aura boring holes into your back, you immediately light up at Tenma’s presence.

“Tenma-kun~!” you launch at him with your arms wide open. You’re ready for some sort of swerve from him, so you make sure you protect his bag of cookies with your arm... You’ve learned this counter-attack the hard way, of course.

But what you don’t expect is that your boyfriend makes no move to avoid you at all.

“H-hey! Don’t just lunge at me like that, you idiot! What if you fell down and knocked your head open?” Ah, at least the embarrassed comment is there.

You can only smile at him kindly. From the edge of your eyes, you swear that you can see a light blush dusting his face as your boyfriend gains newfound interest in your shoes.

“Come with me for a while,” he finally grumbles, effectively breaking the silence between the both of you. Grabbing your hand, Tenma leads you down the little aluminium staircase, eliciting small grates from the steps below you and a mass of curious whispers from the group you’d just left behind.

“Hey, Udai-kun~” Tokito calls out, a lilt of roguery in his tone, “Make sure to get back in time for practice, okay? And keep Y/N-chan in one piece, won’t you? We can’t get another Cookie Goddess if you don’t.”

When he turns into a secluded corner away from the prying eyes of his teammates, you can hear him audibly huff and mutter something under his breath. As silence lingers between you, you nearly forget about the reason why you came to visit.

“I made some cookies for you, Tenma-kun,” you say to him, urging the neatly wrapped bundle into his hands. “I hope you like it.”

You can clearly see the hesitation in his eyes when he takes it in his hands. You can probably guess why.

(“Y/N, your skills with a knife are scary, dude,” Saeko grimaced as she watched you trail over the dough with the gleaming blade of your paring knife.

“Aaand... done!” you proudly wiped the sweat off your forehead. It would’ve been more helpful with a cookie cutter around, but you figured that it would’ve been more heartfelt otherwise.

‘Heartfelt’, you pondered on the word for a moment. Would this be too heartfelt for such a rag-tag person like Tenma? It would probably be better to go for something simpler, just like the other days...

Nah. You shook your head as you chucked the tray of heart-shaped cookies into the oven.)

You’re hoping for a shocked response from him, but Tenma only grumbles meekly. You brace yourself for another scolding for acting too chummy with him, or being too affectionate, or—

“You shouldn’t get too close with other guys.”

Wait.

Tenma crosses his arms, the curls of his hair falling gently over his forehead. His pink cheeks darken into a soft maroon. “If they found out you’re giving me this sort of special treatment, they’ll be all over you the next day, asking for it too... I don’t like it.”

The laugh that rises in your throat threatens to burst. What is this, you think. Your stomach hurt from the mere image of this innocent “delinquent” professing his jealousy for you. If he was like this all the time, wouldn’t that be an interesting change... Aah, your boyfriend really is cute, isn’t he?

A giggle escapes you and you watch him jolt in chagrin. “Tenma-kun, you’re so red.”

“I’m not!” he yells rather briskly, then shoots back at you. “You can’t say I’m red when you were all burning up as you were giving me these heart-shaped cookies.”

Touché. “I’m glad you like them, Tenma-kun.”

His gaze visibly softens up as you give him an angelic smile. “Uh, yeah. Thanks.”

At times like this, you really do see the boy who’d shyly confessed to you under the shade of the summer ginko tree. It wasn’t anything of a distant memory, it was just that Tenma’s usual demeanour and your unrelenting tolerance hindered the both of you from being completely outward with one another. Maybe something like this isn’t so bad after all.

“I-I have to go back to practice. You can go home by yourself, right?” your boyfriend clears his throat, urging you to leave.

Though you wished the moment would last a little longer, you know there are other countless shared opportunities with him. “Mm-hm! You do your best in practice, okay?”

He ruffles your hair and chuckles endearingly.

“Atta girl. Now go home before Tokito catches me getting all touchy-feely with you.”

Bidding him goodbye, you sullenly trudge away from your boyfriend (and his friends waving back at you from the balcony). Then the idea strikes you.

Special cookies ought to have a special flair to them, no?

Cupping your hands around your mouth like a megaphone, you shout, loud enough for his teammates to hear. “I love you, Tenma-kun~!”

And the crowd goes wild.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

From: Tenma-kun ♡

Subject: Untitled

(15:58) Now Tokito’s all over me thanks to you, making me do extra diving drills. You better make more of those cookies as compensation, idiot. Be prepared for it.

(15:58) Btw, don’t forget to look both ways when you cross the street on the way home. If you get into an accident, you won’t be able to apologize to me properly.

(15:58) ... Hey.

(16:00) I love you too.

#bruh haikyuu writing #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyu #udai tenma #udai tenma x reader #haikyuu fluff #udai tenma imagine #udai tenma scenario #karasuno x reader #udai x reader #little giant x reader #sfw

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birriabirria · 3 years

Note

i didn't reblog the list of your au's but i do have it pls don't ask why

· ultimate touch: dirkkat au with ultimate dirk married to karkat

· ultimate collision: a spin-off of “ultimate touch“ where dirk and karkat *aren’t* married and karkat tries to stop ultimate dirk

· can i get another amen: dirkkat colorswap au with dirk crocker and karkat makara

· dutiful: colorswap au with karkat peixes

· draining: brokat colorswap & troll au with karkat captor, the emperor bro strider, nepeta vantas and kanaya leijon

· in the end, we’ll meet: dirkkat au where karkat and dirk are soulmates but karkat brings about the end times so dirk has to kill him to avoid it

· a dance with death: brokat au where karkat’s a prince and bro’s death

· death is a married pair: a spin-off of both “the bringer of end times and the destroyer of souls“ and “a dance with death“ where bro’s death and karkat’s his bride

· your bro went down on me. sorry: dirkkat age difference au with dirk being 17-19 and karkat’s 41-43

· stand guard: brokat bodyguard au

· gratitude: brokat colorswap & troll au with karkat megido and bro as a seadweller

· audacity: brokat colorswap & troll au with karkat pyrope and bro as a blue blood

· starstruck: brokat(/dirkkat) idol au where 1) karkat’s an idol and bro (and dirk) is his fan; 2) bro’s an idol and karkat’s his fan; 3) both karkat and bro are idols and they’re each other’s fans

· inheritance: karkat, tavros, aradia and sollux as the new midnight crew

· tOO 2POOKY: aradia, tavros, sollux and karkat as mystery solving gang!

· tOO 2POOKY recolored: colorswap au with karkat megido, sollux peixes, aradia makara and tavros ampora

· legion fell: dirkkat supers au where there’s a future villain named legion and future!dave goes back to the past to stop him

· blood red: a spin-off of “a legion strings” where karkat becomes an anti-villain

· take a sip: dirkkatbro colorswap au with karkat maryam, dirk english and bro harley

· matchmaking mess: dirkkatbro au where dirk and bro come to karkat for relationship advice. and karkat’s the one they’re interested in

· heartbeat crisis: karkat gets stuck in a dating sim where the human boys are his love interests

· emotion eater: striderkat au where karkat’s a leanan shidhe and he gives the striders inspiration while unfortunately slowly making them more obsessed with him

· rise up gamers: kanaya and karkat as gamers!

· alliance: a long time ago, the signless succeeds in his rebellion and they lowbloods make an alliance and move away from the empire. years later, karkat, tavros, aradia and sollux are sent to earth

· pack bond: thoughts about the 12 trolls being a pack

· walking dead: the vantases as necromancers au

· the vantases: scenes of the vantases family featuring carcata (beforus karkat) as the grandpa, cancri (the signless) as the uncle, kankri as the annoying cousin and karkat as the baby

· family way: a spin-off of “the vantases” where karkat’s friends have families too!

· supernatural headache: brokat supernatural au with two (2!!!) bros! there’s deiderik the vampire and derrik the werewolf

· the freaks: tavros, aradia, karkat and sollux in a band au

· songbird: brokat supernatural au with bro as a fey lord and karkat as the street singer he’s interested in

· party favor: striderkat au where karkat’s a singer, bro’s his sleazy music producer and the striders all sharing karkat

· red as a cherry: halkat childhood friends au

· bane brothers: solkat colorswap au with sollux pyrope and karkat serket

· scorch siblings: nepkat colorswap au with karkat pyrope and nepeta serket

· red diner: supernatural au where everybody else in town is supernatural while the vantases are the only humans and they run the local diner

· show you my teeth: brokat supernatural au where karkat’s a werewolf and bro’s a hunter who gets interested in him. the trolls are werewolves too! and there’s worldbuilding!

· milk and cookies and steel: nanna egbert, grandpa harley and carcata (beforus karkat) as friends! carcata bugs grandpa harley about letting jade live somewhere else that isn’t the islan

· i want it that way: idol au where the boys are an idol group and karkat’s their manager, the girls and roxy are an idol group too and nepeta’s their manager

· count your blessings: karkat is the knight of blood, the god of love and peace and the rest of the trolls are his Chosen

· my eye and my heart: johnkat fantasy au inspired by dishonored where karkat is prince john’s bodyguard. john gets kidnapped and karkat has to get him back

· defective detective: brokat au where karkat’s a-very unwilling!-teen detective and bro’s a mastermind

· haunted doll watcher: brokat au where karkat gets a haunted doll and fixes it up

· automated stitch: halkat au where hal’s a haunted doll and karkat’s an android

· daddy dearest: bro/carcata age difference au where bro’s a teen taken in by carcata

· beloved pet: a crime spin-off of “daddy dearest” where crime boss carcata brings in a lost dangerous boy

· good and bad listeners: the rest of the trolls grow up to be awesome while karkat’s karkat but they still listen to him for some reason???

· spiteful revolution: karkat’s expecting his death any day now but his friends start a revolution to stop him from being killed. karkat doesn’t help the revolution *at all*

· idolatry: brokat idol au where karkat’s a teen idol and bro’s his manager

· double time: colorswap au featuring karkat megido, kanaya captor and john strider

· fit for the gods: deity au where the trolls are gods worshiped by the kingdoms derse and prospit

· gimme some sugar: karkat’s the sugar baby of several older men

· marvelous marriage: dirkkathal supers au where karkat and dirk are married, hal is karkat’s boyfriend and 1) karkat’s a hero and dirk’s a villain; 2) dirk’s a hero and karkat’s a villain

· sword and sickle: a spin-off of “marvelous marriage“ where karkat and dirk aren’t married and karkat’s a villain who flirts with the hero dirk

· cat’s eye key: dirkkat au where dirk’s the most famous bachelor in town and stipulates that whoever catches his cat and gets the key on it can marry him. karkat finds a cat and takes care of it

· seal skin seal: halkat/dirkkat au where karkat’s a singer and dirk’s a selkie who throws his pelt at him

· a knight’s hand: dirkkat au where the knight karkat saves the prince of derse and the prince of derse follows him around trying to thank him!

· strip me down: karkat runs a swanky strip club and the boys (with hal and bro) work there

· sins and virtues: a friend’s au where the trolls and kids are touched by sins and virtues

· camera life: the kids and trolls as vloggers au

· forgotten vow: breath of the wild au where 1) feferi’s the princess and karkat’s her knight; 2) karkat’s a prince and feferi’s his knight; 3) karkat’s the prince and meenah’s his knight

· a tale of four kingdoms: jakekat fantasy au where the lowbloods have an alliance, the kingdoms prospit and derse and the alternian empire. prince jake of prospit gets a crush on future duke of the tegmen alliance karkat

· princesguard: fantasy au where karkat’s the prince and hal, jake, meenah and feferi are his knights!

· karaoke madness: thoughts about the trolls going karaoke

· the hunt has just begun: shadowhunters au where 1) the kids are shadowhunters; 2) the trolls are shadowhunters

· a strange friendship: aranea and karkat are friends! karkat gets a headache

· black wings, white wings: dirkkat/brocat d.n.angel au where dirk is bro’s tamer and kankri is carcata’s tamer

· after blood: zombie au where the kids are the aegis force who are ordered to find the troll who’s immune to the virus, karkat

· exchange words: an urban fantasy au where tavros’ prince and aradia’s his knight. karkat’s a singer, sollux’s a thief and they’re roommates

· class swap: au where the beta kids swap classes with their patron trolls and the alpha kids swap classes with their sprites

children of heaven and earth: fantasy au where the kids and karkat have Divine heritage. the kids are Children of Heaven while karkat’s a Child of Earth and has powers over a plague

i didn't expect this. thank you! this is so sweet

#ask #anon

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monster-bait · 3 years

Note

Soooo 👀 you got anymore HCs up your sleeve on Rukh? He has been living rent free in my brain for a while now (like a lot of your OCs!)😅🤩😍

Here are some HCs for Rukh, our favorite gruff bartender in the GW universe. (I've already started writing a small one-shot of Rukh's job interview with Tate, because once I started writing these, I couldn't get the idea out of my head! That will be posting to Patreon shortly!)

If you're interested in learning more about any of my existing characters, all ko-fi contributions earn a headcanon! (Higher amounts will be more detailed!)

Previous Rukh headcanons, including the extremely memorable moment of IvyMemnoch finding a Celtic flute version of Despacito (my fav Tumblr moment of the year, by far! 😂) can be found here

RUKH

Had never heard of the tiny resort town where the Pixie is located before responding to the job listing, despite the fact that he lives in neighboring Starling Heights. He’d been working in one of those quick-service garages before then—an embarrassing waste of his skills, but he figured with his prison record, he was lucky to find a job at all. He’d not been planning on leaving his position, was only looking for a part-time gig, but the job post for the Pixie was too intriguing to scroll past—it was written in Orcish, practically unheard in a mixed-species society, catching his eye immediately. Unlike the other half-a-dozen bartender help wanted ads he’d looked at, the Pixie’s post said nothing about requiring an “upbeat personality” or his “smile being part of the dress code,” all descriptors that made him cringe. Punctuality, accountability, and an authoritative presence were the expectations, experience a plus but not required...it was straightforward and direct., it was clearly directed at orcs...he fit the bill, he thought. He considered himself to have a finely-tuned bullshit meter, and the Pixie’s ad didn’t set it off at all

He has since admitted to himself that he has fallen for Tate’s particular brand of bullshit repeatedly over the years

Rukh is a very tightly closed book. He’s definitely the strong silent type and is not at all comfortable talking about himself. (Despite that, he spilled his guts and told Tate his whole life story during his job interview—falling for the bullshit instance #1)

He discovered a love of reading during his incarceration, one he didn’t possess in his younger days. When he moved to Starling Heights, he was low-key delighted to find his apartment was on the same block as the library. He prefers mysteries and crime novels to anything overly literary, doesn’t have the patience for the endless world-building of high fantasy, and enjoys a wide spectrum of non-fiction. It’s become a game of sorts, engaging Ainsley in conversation and being able to not only keep up, but add his own insights and facts.

Another mental game he likes to play is trying to pinpoint Tate’s actual age. He’d never come right out and ask but sometimes Tate will chime into conversations knowing things he just...shouldn’t, or else will make references to things that Rukh can barely remember from his *own* childhood, things he remembers his parents reminiscing over. He’s added some Celtic history books to his rotation and surreptitiously jots down notes on the random head-scratchers Tate will casually drop and follows rabbit holes looking into said notes...as a result, he’s even more spooked by Tate than he was before he started snooping 😂

When Rukh first started at the Pixie, he thought they would fail. He was positive about it. Too small, in the middle of nowhere, an owner who very quickly made enemies with most of the people in town...he was shocked when the old girl's business plan actually fell into place. Shocked and thrilled, of course. He loves having a routine, loves having a reason to get up and feel energized every day, likes the clientele and takes his job of overseeing the “sightseers” during tourist season seriously. Since the bar turns a respectable profit, they're constantly receiving promotional odds and ends, which is how Rukh wound up with a Bourbon of the Month club subscription for a free year. (Tate hissed like a cat and shooed the offending pamphlet away as though it might bite.) He continued the subscription once the free year ended, and looks forward to his monthly ritual—he waits until his night off, puts on some moody jazz, cracks open the month’s bottle, and enjoys it with a cigar. Thessa referred to it as a self-care routine once, after asking him about his plans for the night, and he nearly turned inside out in mortification.

He doesn’t talk about his time in prison, nor the crime he committed to wind up there. Tate is the only one who knows, and Rukh is happy to keep it that way. It’s not that he regrets the act itself all that much—he has no remorse for his brother, but rather the way it fractured their family, upended his life, and had branded him as someone to be wary of since his release.

That being said...things he did pick up during his incarceration—the ability to keep his head down and just get by, the knowledge that sometimes you simply need to kick someone’s ass, and the value of tidiness—are assets at the Pixie.

Loves nothing more than his solitary days at the Pixie during the off-season. The night-time regulars, while they consistently fill the cash till, are still a handful. He loves the quiet of the daytime, the handful of day drinkers, the time to hear himself think without needing to watch over every aspect of the business. Speaking of which—he knows how to do everything in the Pixie. The ordering, the inventory, the budgets, the schedules, the upkeep...he's not entirely sure why, as Tate very much micro-manages every bit of the day-to-day management, but it was something the boy insisted on and Rukh wasn't about to argue. "Someone needs to be able to take care of her if I'm not here anymore," was the only answer he got, and he decided it was easier not to ask questions. Since Silva has been on the scene, Rukh has been left to his own devices more often and it is *bliss.*

He thought he'd left his days of vice behind him. He drank, he smoked, he dabbled in recreational drugs, he worked on souped-up hot rods and bet on drag racing...prison changed all that and his life afterward left little room for any of it...but Tate and Ainsley are terrible terrible influences. Gamblers and hustlers, he has someone to talk cars with again, to trade intel on illegal street racing with, the chance to get his hands just a littttle bit dirty again, and he loves it

Smokey blues, soulful R&B, moody rock

Sloooow dancing

He is *incredibly* protective of Elshona. He’s the first person who meets her once she arrives in her new home, and he recognizes the fear in her eyes. He’s the only one who understands what it means to be cast out of one’s community, he knows what it means to have to start over again. He doesn’t understand the relationship she has with Tate, doesn’t know all of the details of her expulsion and shunning from her clan, but he’s made a quiet promise to himself that she’ll never be left to flounder completely alone again.

Has a FWB relationship with a half-troll woman in his building. Single mom, splits custody with her ex, so has several nights a week free, and she’ll spend one of them in his bed. It’s casual and neither of them is interested in pursuing more, but it’s occasional companionship and scratches an itch.

He's not immune to the plethora of easy sex the commune attracts. There would be hell to pay if the staff acted on anything beyond mild flirtation at the Pixie, but he'd be a liar if he said he hadn't drifted down to the parties and pool-side bar before to check things out. He's been on the receiving end of more than one edge of the party blowjob to know how addictive that sort of access to easy sex could be; he sees the commune residents and the reckless way they behave and knows how easy it would be to slip into that lust-crazed mindset, and makes a point of only indulging in visiting that side of the resort occasionally

He much prefers to find his partners the old fashioned way: closer to home, in one of the dimly lit little pubs around his neighborhood. He loves the adrenaline rush of a flirtation turning into close talking and lingering hands, that first heat-filled kiss. He doesn't mind the evening ending back at his or her place, he's not picky, and prefers to savor the night (as opposed to the fast, anonymous sex at the commune parties.) Ladies on top or old-fashioned missionary, any position that lets him see their faces: heads dropped back, faces screwed up in ecstasy, that moment when they come...he'll take that over a blow job in the dark any day of the week

A skill that Tate possesses that Rukh greatly admires and strives to emulate: easy banter which leads to confidences shared. They were talking about cars one minute, and in the next Rukh was revealing the details of the day he killed his brother, the shunning of his clan which followed, and his incarceration. He left that initial interview feeling shaken, positive that he'd been the victim of fae magic...but he's come to realize that there is truth in the old adage of hairstylists and barkeeps being the keepers of the whole town's secrets. Tate knows everything about everyone, is able to tease out information as casually as pouring the next drink, and Rukh has begun to employ the same tactics. He was shocked to find that it actually works. As the years have gone on, he's improved his game and knows much about all of the Pixie's regulars, hears the commune gossip and news from town, and is gleeful with the power of being able to pass on information that the Pixie can use to leverage her business.

There is very little that scares him in this world. Possessions are just things and things can be replaced, he's been in fights with bigger, meaner dudes than the Pixie's roughest patrons, and he's not afraid to meet his maker. He's let go of the past and the people in it and tries to live life one day at a time, and that's not a mindset that lends itself to fear much. Tate is a wholly different story. Rukh knew his type in prison: those who viewed other people as pawns, who traded and secrets gossip to advance their own positions; had a minotaur cellmate who was that sort and he got his ass kicked on the regular for it. He knew a lizardman who was as slippery, who contorted himself in and out of trouble, ingratiating himself with the guards and the inmates of the upper echelons to hold himself out of real hot water...but he's never met anyone with the same capacity for mischief and spite as his current employer, has never met anyone so terrifyingly adept at causing trouble while staying out of it. The boy isn't overly concerned about making enemies or worrying about his own hide and wreaks havoc for havoc's sake, and Rukh might be impressed if he didn't actually care about him. Silva is, in Rukh's opinion, Tate's perfect match. A sweet little angel, an absolute beauty, wide-eyed and innocent looking and, Rukh (rightly) suspects, just as shrewd and self-preserving as Tate. He has a feeling the entire town will be set ablaze if/when their relationship consumes itself, and only hopes it happens on his day off.

I hope you enjoyed this little peek into a character who doesn't get as much page time as some of his peers! If you'd like a headcanon of your own, visit my ko-fi! Thanks so much, IvyMemnoch!

#monsterbait answers #ko-fi #girls weekend #the plundered pixie #rukh #ivymemnoch

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davekat-sucks · 3 years

Note

The beta kids are the patrons to the trolls. John gets Nepeta, Vriska, and Fefer, Jade gets Karkat, Tavros, and Equis, Rose get Kanaya, Eridan, and Gamzee, Dave gets Aradia, Terezi, and Sollux. (The trolls have them as patrons from the start of there adventure and the human kids are at the end of their session. so a reverse situation that the trolls are to blame for instead... for plot reasons,)

I'm not sure if any kids would be that cruel to do anything like Terezi pulled to cause a doomed timeline. At best, they would try to solve the mystery on how the trolls had caused it. They split the trolls among each other and must investigate. Part of it as it goes on, was indirect and unintentional from the kids that caused it. But another was also the trolls' own meddling. Be it someone like Vriska trying to sneak to raise the stakes, Gamzee being slowly corrupted to serve Lord English, and trolls in fighting amongst themselves. And of course, Doc Scratch is around to set things for his master's arrival. I can see the kids trying to befriend them first. The trolls would try to ignore them because they thought of them were annoying and don't trust them. But as time goes on through many conversations, they will learn better about the humans. Eridan and Gamzee's convos are mostly summarized as a therapy session. Heh heh. The plan for the Scratch for an Alpha session will still be there. To have most of them living and reaching god tier, now that will be an even bigger challenge for them.

#Homestuck #Beta Kids #Beta Trolls

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lorei-writes · 4 years

Text

Match-Up #1

Submitted by @silhouette-of-a-dream on behalf of @readerinsertfanfiction ! :3 (Let’s start trolling music, pretty please).

It appears that plenty of Nemo’s positive qualities involve her intellectual side. As such, a suitor with sharp and curious mind may be preferable. It could prove to be rater stimulating - to bring that one step forward, I assume a person who specialises in fields that bear high likelihood of being foreign to her could be a good choice too.

Nobunaga (+) Mitsuhide (+) Mitsunari (+) Shingen (+) Sasuke (+)

Patience seems to be a quality which could benefit all possible relationships greatly. However, in certain situations it could prove to be even more so important - as such, only warlords who would be significantly affected by that are mentioned below.

Mitsunari (+) Ieyasu (+) Hideyoshi (+)

Additional points distributed for honesty and “dry” sense of humour:

Masamune (+) <- honesty Mitsuhide (+) <- honesty Shingen (+) <- sense of humour

I feel that several of those alleged flaws could actually become advantages under certain circumstances. (A distinction between honesty and brutal honesty has been made)

Mitsunari (++) <- directness, brutal honesty Yukimura (++) <- directness, brutal honesty Mitsuhide (++) <- directness, brutal honesty Shingen (+) <- brutal honesty

Given the “weird eating habits” being mentioned in the flaw category, I presume those must be somewhat unhealthy. As such, two things shall be taken into consideration: RIF may be unsuitable to take care of another person’s eating schedule and may need some help in that department herself.

Mitsunari (-) Yukimura (+) Hideyoshi (+) Masamune (+)

I presume a person able to support her with not only compliments, but also actions, could be appreciated in tackling her insecurities. Conversely, people risking to reinforce those in any way may be a bad choice.

Masamune (+) Shingen (+) Mitsuhide (+) Yukimura (-) Ieyasu (-)

1st Summary:

Mitsuhide ( + + + + +) Shingen ( + + + + ) Mitsunari ( + + + ) Masamune ( + + + ) Yukimura ( + + ) Hideyoshi ( + + ) Sasuke ( + ) Nobunaga ( + )

READ THE REST OF THE MATCH-UP & THE CONCLUSION BELOW THE CUT.

Points distributed for likes:

Nobunaga (++++) <- culture & history, reading, learning new things, languages Mitsuhide (+++) <- culture & history, reading, learning new things Shingen (++) <- culture & history, learning new things Masamune (++) <- learning new things, her original fiction Mitsunari (+) <- reading

Points distributed for dislikes:

Mitsunari (-) <- explaining everything a million times (sorry, Mitsunari) Hideyoshi (- -) <- suppressing traditions, shopping

Shigen would never force his red beans on anybody. Moreover, he may even willingly consume them instead of his partner.

Shingen (+)

2nd Summary:

Mitsuhide ( + + + + + + + + ) Shingen ( + + + + + + + ) Masamune ( + + + + +) Nobunaga ( + + + + + ) Mitsunari ( + + + ) Yukimura ( + + ) Sasuke ( + )

Well, surprisingly enough, I distributed too little (-), it appears. Huh.

Shingen refuses to be crossed out. In honour of Nemo’s blind dates event, let’s roll a dice to decide whether he’ll be allowed to do so. Even - stays, odd - has to go.

Shingen remains.

Nobunaga ( + + + + + ) <- patronizing Yukimura ( + + ) <- somewhat patronizing (less so than Nobunaga) Sasuke ( + ) <- patronizing Mitsunari ( + + + ) <- too child-like

Mitsuhide remains, as he never seems to underestimate his opponents and friends alike.

Oh. It appears a Kyubei may be necessary then. To make an exception:

Kyubei (+) Masamune (+) <- bringing more fun into her life

None of the remaining suitors appear to be ignorant.

Shingen (-) <- he does want a family. However, it is unclear what are his views on adoption, how old would a child be then, whether his views could change (assumption: no, it is highly unlikely), whether Yukimura is enough of a son, etc.

Luckily enough, our dearest ninja is out of discussion now.

Final ranking:

Mitsuhide ( + + + + + + + + ) Shingen & Masamune ( + + + + + + ) Kyubei (+)

Given that two suitors scored a second place, summaries will be written only for 1st and 3rd place. I’m equally surprised by the second place, it may be an error.

Mitsuhide:

To call Mitsuhide a walking mystery would be an understatement - however, there is only so much in this world that cannot be uncovered. It would take a sharp mind and some curiosity, both of which you appear to have in abandon. The beginning may be somewhat rocky, his teasing manners being annoying to say the least... That is, until he realised what sort of person he’s dealing with. Upon getting burned once, he wouldn’t underestimate you ever again, his games becoming a form of mutual affection.

Only the smart can prevail while living in the shadows, the path he has chosen having honed his mind. As such, Mitsuhide would not only make a splendid teacher, but also a conversation partner. Having survived plenty, he has surely discovered that all humans carry valuable information - he certainly would never disregard your expertise. Moreover, he’d support you from where he’s most comfortable, making your path easier by pulling strings whenever he could... Of course, only if you wished for it, as you’d be more than likely to see through his schemes.

Possible issues may arise around you both neglecting your health, even if Mitsuhide cared about yours more than he cares of his own. Unfortunately, a simple talk may be too little to resolve that one - please, ready yourself to be scolded by Masamune, Hideyoshi and Kyubei respectively. Free time ideas: conversations over tea, visiting picturesque places Mitsuhide found out about during his little schemes, playing in the garden with Chimaki, taking detours during missions & going sight-seeing in disguise, snuggling together after a tiring day

Kyubei:

He had you figured out from the very start, all too many of your quirks and qualities aligning with those of his lord. At first, he shrieked internally, reckoning in terror that world could not take two Mitsuhides, let alone both at the same time. Yet... Upon closer inspection, he realised your motivations and goals were quite different. Perhaps the universe didn’t play a trick on him, after all? Kyubei found himself slowly falling in love with you, the process only quickening the more he learnt.

Kyubei knew not to underestimate others, that being one of the lessons his lord taught him. As such, he would not question your expertise, although he may be curious enough to know why. Given his line of work, he’d be sharp enough to comprehend your ideas with minimum explanations. However, this power is a double edged sword, for he’d know right away when you took poor care of yourself - and he would not let that happen without a protest from his side.

Possible issues may arise around your eating habits and need to relax more. He’d surely try to help to the best of his ability, but there are only so many Mitsuhides one Kyubei can handle. He may need a helping hand in that. Free time ideas: folding origami together, resting at home, you working at kitchen while he cooked the meal for the both of you, visiting flower fields

#ikesen matchup #ikesen #ikemen sengoku #match-ups event

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hydro-city-zone · 2 years

Text

Finally, it’s time for out main character to enter the spotlight! Rose Egbert!

silly lore under the cut

Want to see more? You can find John/June Lalonde , Jade Strider and Dave Harley here!

-raised by Dad instead of Beta Roxy -she is a conspiracy theorist, not in the ridiculous and kinda crazy sense, she’s simply open minded and likes to listen to conspiracy podcasts -Rose, aka enpassantBlasphemy [EB], likes to browse forums about unsolved mysteries, preferring to think about the more outlandish theories about them. It was here she ran into ghastfulTomfoolery [GT], aka John, on a post about an unsolved murder. She was interested in his... 'unique' viewpoint on death and thus stayed in contact. -one day, another kid named Dave asked for her assistance in tracking down his pet bird. Once the bird was recovered, they exchanged handles, Dave's being trilobitesGraveyard [TG]. -Dave passed on the contact of a friend of his, gallantGravitation [GG], aka Jade. They like to discuss trap design, ethics of artificial intelligence, and cute animal images of course. -Rose learned about the SBURB Beta through the conspiracy communities she orbits. People were discussing that the game would serve as some gateway for a world ending apocalypse. Rose decided to play the game in order to debunk these theories. She was more wrong than she could have possibly believed. -has quite the good relationship with her patron troll. perhaps a little bit more than just good actually. -our hero of light, of course, but what class? you'll see very soon.

#rose egbert #rose lalonde #john lalonde #june lalonde #john egbert #june egbert #jade strider #jade harley #dave harley #dave strider #another mysterious patron troll #homestuck #home22tuck #ALTERFALL

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dragonkeeper19600 · 5 years

Photo

What is the Medicine Seller?

The subjectivity of Mononoke is a large part of what makes the series unique. But, one of the biggest mysteries that the show leaves unanswered is what exactly the Medicine Seller is supposed to be. From his weird powers, traits, and appearance to the fact that he clearly doesn’t age, it’s an understatement to say that this isn’t a normal guy. All kinds of theories have been floating around about the Medicine Seller’s true identity, that he’s a onmyōji, a god, or some kind of benevolent mononoke.

However, for my money, looking at all the evidence combined from the show and Japanese mythology, I’ve concluded that the Medicine Seller is most likely a kitsune.

Now, I feel like most anime viewers have at least a cursory idea what a kitsune is, but just to recap: “Kitsune” (狐) is the Japanese word for fox. Traditional Japanese folk beliefs attributed all sorts of mysterious powers to foxes, including shapeshifting, creating illusions, and warding off evil spirits. Taking cues from ancient Chinese lore about fox spirits, kitsune have captured the imagination of Japanese artists and storytellers for centuries and continue to do so in the present day.

I’m far from the first person to come up with the “Medicine Seller is a fox” theory. It’s the only theory cited on the admittedly bare-bones Mononoke Wiki, and numerous commentators and Tropers have speculated that our favorite flamboyant exorcist might be a fox in disguise. So, allow me to take some time to display all the compiled evidence as to why I think this is the most plausible theory.

Let’s start with the obvious: The guy looks like a fox.

The red markings on his face are very reminiscent of the red paint you see on the traditional kitsune masks people wear around festival time. These markings are highlighted in the anime’s opening, so you can really see the similarity.

His long ears and fangs could also be considered vulpine.

The literature is rife with examples of foxy traits showing through a kitsune’s human disguise, especially when they’re startled or caught off-guard, such as ears, a tail, or canine teeth. We’ve never seen a tail on the Medicine Seller, but who knows what he’s hiding under that robe? I’ve also seen some sources claim that the tail will be revealed if you see the kitsune��s reflection or shadow. We haven’t seen either, so who knows?

Secondly, there’s a hierarchy to keep in mind when thinking about Japanese foxes. Some kitsune are holy messengers while others are malignant spirits that bring ruin to humans. Some are merely pranksters, using their powers to pull hilarious tricks on unwitting humans, sometimes to teach them a lesson but often just for shits and giggles.

Holy, high-ranking foxes are said to be messengers of the Shinto god Inari, the rice god and the patron deity of merchants and sword smiths.

Pictured: A merchant with a sword.

Fox statues like the one pictured above can be seen standing guard in front of Inari’s shrines, where they are said to ward off evil. The A-to-Z Online Buddhist dictionary has this to say:

“[T]he fox is associated with the concept of Kimon 鬼門, literally “demon gate,” a Japanese term stemming from Chinese geomancy (Ch: feng shui). In Chinese thought, the northeast quarter is considered particularly inauspicious. It is the place where "demons gather and enter." This belief was imported by the Japanese and is referred to as Kimon. Kimon generally means ominous direction, or taboo direction. In Japan, the fox is considered a powerful ally in warding off evil Kimon influences. Fox statues are often placed in northeast locations to stand guard over demonic influence, and two foxes typically guard the entrance to Inari Shrines, one to the left and one to the right of the gate.”

He may not be a statue, but “warding off demonic influences” is basically half of the Medicine Seller’s job description. He often uses seals, salt, prayer, and other methods accessible to humans, but the Bakeneko arc of Ayakashi clearly shows he can keep a mononoke at bay just by flexing really hard.

Yokai.com goes into some detail about the various ranks of kitsune, from the lowliest trickster to the most divine guardian. One rank of kitsune of particular interest to me is called the Kiko (気狐), a servant of Inari that has evolved to the point where it no longer has a physical form. Many Kiko adopt human disguises, but they have not yet ascended to a heavenly plane and so remain on Earth serving Inari’s will.

We have never seen the Medicine Seller eat, drink, or sleep. There is, however, one physical need that he does indulge in.

If you get my meaning.

Pictured above is the Medicine Seller’s extensive shunga (春画) collection. Shunga is Edo period porn, and it wasn’t exactly uncommon for merchants to be carrying volumes of shunga on their person. However, 20+ volumes seems a bit excessive to me.

It’s a trait that doesn’t come up all that much in Mononoke, but the first episode of Ayakashi’s Bakeneko arc reveals that the Medicine Seller is a bit of a horny bastard. He trades info on various virility and fertility medications with Kayo, a conversation that involves a lot of whispering into her ear. He was about to share his porn with Kayo before they were interrupted. I’m convinced that if Sato had entered the kitchen ten minutes later, she would have found the two of them fucking on the floor.

As anyone who's watched Naruto can tell you, kitsune are often associated with sex. Inari, among other things, is also a fertility god, and there are many stories of kitsune adopting human form and seducing unwitting mortals, running the full gambit from the horrific to the romantic. A good chunk of these stories involve the kitsune marrying their human beau and even bearing his children in some cases.

Most stories of this nature center on female kitsune, but it’s not like male kitsune don’t exist. The popularity of sexy fox women can probably be chalked up to male-dominated Edo society, but more and more male kitsune have been sighted in modern anime.

I believe we can add Mononoke to this number. Practically every woman in the series creams their pants at the mere sight of the Medicine Seller, and it doesn’t seem that their attraction is one-sided. The Medicine Seller has all kinds of sexual tension with Kayo in both series. And, if you look closely, you can spy some romantic tension with Ochou as well. There’s little doubt that the Medicine Seller is attracted to human women and is even capable of falling in love with them. However, due to his role slaying mononoke, it is unlikely that he can ever settle down and marry one the way many other kitsune do.

Personality-wise, the Medicine Seller is also reminiscent of a fox. Like I mentioned above, kitsune are often tricksters by nature. Although the Medicine Seller never acts in a needlessly malicious way, he does like to dick around with people. A lot of the aforementioned tension with Kayo takes the form of teasing banter.

Keep in mind: It wasn’t him who changed the compass. Which means he’s being vague for no other reason except to mess with Kayo.

He also spend a good portion of his arc in Ayakashi trolling the Sakai household, especially Odajima. And do we even need to mention his gambit in the Nue arc?

youtube

So, his appearance, relationships, and personality are all decidedly fox-like. What about his powers? Well, in the Nopperabou arc, we get a pretty clear hint that the Medicine Seller’s physical form is just an illusion.

The Masked Man’s attempt to take away the Medicine Seller’s face failed because that wasn’t his real face. He outright compared his face to a facade. Since it was just an illusion, it was easy for him to change it back. It should also be noted that the Nopperabou, the faceless ghost, often appears not as an independent spirit but a hilarious prank that other yokai like to pull on humans. Tanuki, Manji (badger spirits), and, yes, even Kitsune have used the image of a faceless human being to scare humans. This is getting into fan wank territory itself, but it is entirely possible that the Medicine Seller is all too familiar with the art of face removal, having pulled that trick himself in his younger days.

That the Medicine Seller’s body isn’t real could also explain the nature of his Other Self. During his first transformation sequence in Ayakashi (which is repeated in the Nue arc), we see the markings on his face and robes disappear.

Before gold markings reappear on his Other Self.

It might be possible to think of this “transformation” as more of a body surf. The flowing markings could indicate the presence of the fox spirit as it moves from one body to the other. This is a good time to point out that gold eyes are said to be another common trait of kitsune, and white fur is indicative of an Inari fox. The Other Self’s long white hair may be a hint as to his divine nature.

Now, with all his powers and religious motifs, is it possible that the Medicine Seller is not a fox but in fact Inari himself? I did briefly contemplate that possibility, but I ultimately decided it probably wasn’t true. The Medicine Seller’s powers have limits that I feel a high-ranking god like Inari wouldn’t have. It looked like he did serious damage to himself trying to hold back the bakeneko in Ayakashi.

Ouchies.

Rather than being a human avatar of Inari, I find it more likely that the Medicine Seller is a kiko carrying out Inari’s will. In his first appearance in Ayakashi, some men spot the Medicine Seller standing outside the Sakai household, apparently talking to himself.

At the beginning of Mononoke’s first episode, he does the same thing outside the inn. His mouth is moving, but we don’t hear what he’s saying.

In both cases, the men who see him try to call out to him to get his attention, and in both cases he ignores them. He never says who he was talking to, and nobody ever asks. It is strange, however, that he always shows up just where a mononoke is going to be, even when he doesn’t seem to know anything about the mononoke before he arrives. Could it be he is actually receiving instructions from Inari? Inari might be telling him where to go, and the Medicine Seller figures out the rest from there. He can’t know about the mononoke’s form, truth, or reason yet, otherwise he’d be able to slay it right away. How else would he know where to go unless he was being told?

Of course, there are other possibility as to who he could be talking to. It could be his Other Self, if you hold the theory that the Medicine Seller and the Other Self are separate entities (which I don’t, so much). I also contemplated whether it was the sword he was talking to, but the sword is in the trunk. For my money, communing with a god seems the most fitting.

According to Shinto beliefs, foxes can live for up to 1000 years, which would explain why the Medicine Seller is still around after centuries have passed. But, what happens after the millennium is over? At that point, a kitsune sprouts its final, ninth tail and ascends to the heavenly plain, leaving this earth behind. I personally believe that the Medicine Seller has been tasked to wander the earth for 1000 years, slaying mononoke until his time is up. At that point, he’ll become a being as powerful as a god, but until then he must learn to truly understand humanity. Only once he has become thus enlightened will he be able to ascend.

This, I believe, is why the Sword of Exorcism can only be drawn once he’s learned the mononoke’s form, truth, and reason. He can only slay the mononoke if he comes to truly understand it and sympathize with it. It’s all part of a thousand-year long learning process in addition to aiding humanity.

And once he’s done, some day centuries from now, perhaps another young fox will take up the sword and walk through man’s despair, putting the souls of the anguished to rest.

It’s a lonely destiny, but it has its perks.

頑張ってね。

#mononoke #medicine seller #kusuriuri #theory #kitsune #fox #shinto #inari #ayakashi samurai horror tales #headcanon

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pesterloglog · 4 months

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Aranea Serket, Meenah Peixes

Act 6, page 5398

ARANEA: The Page of Void was a self taught master of mechanics, an avid patron of the fine arts, a passionate 8ody 8uilder, archer, am8rosia collector and steamwright. A poet, a scholar, a warrior, a lover, he was all that his caste demanded and more. A true troll Renaissance man. His name means "He Who Stalks With The Muscle8easts."

ARANEA: 8ut all of his proficiencies were hard won, 8uilt from the 8lank slate as his aspect would imply, advancing at the slow pace his class would as well. Yet in spite of all he worked to make something of himself, he amounted to very little. Responsi8le for neither great feats of heroism nor acts of villainy, he was just another game piece to 8e moved a8out the 8oard. The aspect ruling his life would always conspire to dampen his relevance.

ARANEA: Void is easily the most mysterious aspect, the one which inherently defies rational understanding. This makes it particularly fascinating, and just as frustrating, to light players such as myself. Casting illumination upon nothing itself is futile. For to truly know void is to paradoxically cause it not to 8e!

ARANEA: The role of the void player is to somehow em8race nothingness, to 8ecome one with it. And yet in total contradiction with this, to make use of the power it grants and serve a role of relevance, one must find a way to overcome it! To see the limitless potential in the void. To find everything within nothing, and 8ring it into 8eing.

MEENAH: zzzzzzzzzzz

ARANEA: Hey!!!!!!!!

MEENAH: wuh

ARANEA: This is a perfect case in point, regarding the path of the void player. So resistant is his story to having a relevant 8earing on anything, you fell asleep and didnt hear a word.

MEENAH: yeah thats nice

MEENAH: WH-ER-E MA MON-EY

ARANEA: You don't get any. Your slum8er voided the transaction.

MEENAH: dag

#homestuck #aranea serket #meenah peixes #homestuck act 6 #page 5398 #homestuck act 6 intermission 3 #openbound

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noveltea-lolita · 4 years

Text

Freyja’s Flower {NorFin}

AO3 link: Aph Rarepair Week 2020

This is for @aphrarepairweek2020! Major kudos to my best friend @fluffybunnyblue for helping me come up with the plot <3

Valkyries were female warriors of Odin. I’ve taken creative liberties and made one male.

TW: implies suicide at end

Day 1- Flowers

Tucked away in a small forest on the outskirts of an even smaller village in Norway, there is a cottage with a garden the townsfolk have taken to calling magical. They say the white petals of the sneezewort can bloom in any kind of weather; they say they have witnessed fringed pinks to grow to be forty inches tall; and they say they have heard the liljekonvall sing, and they do not say that to sound poetic- they truly believe they have heard the drooping white bulbs sing in the breeze.

What inanity, some in the town will say when their wives or daughters or son-in-laws whisper these fantastical rumors at the dinner table. Sneezeworts are made to thrive in the toughest of weather conditions; fringed pinks can grow to be quite tall; and you must have mistaken that singing for a bird. There, rational explanations! Now hush and eat your porridge.

Rational explanations, indeed, but those who are blinded by the majesties of this ancient land are never to venture into the garden behind the cottage, for they will never be able to find it. They will miss the path in the evergreen forest, or a mist will arise and they will wander around aimlessly before stumbling back to town, or a thunderous storm will crackle across the heavens and keep them far away from the outdoors. They will stay beside their roaring fires with their hunting dogs at their sides and pipes rolling between their fingers, and they will grumble,

“Singing flowers… this town is full of fools.”

But there are fools who believe in these inanities, and they will find an open path from their village to the forest that leads them to a quaint cottage deep within the evergreens. The first thing they will take in is the exquisite smell, no matter the season it smells of parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme, of roses, lavender, jasmine, and chocolate cosmos. It summons the fools forward, beneath the intricate white trellis with wisterias sewed through archway, and into a floral paradise.

Pinks, blues, whites, and yellows align a tiny path etched through the garden, allowing guests to carefully tread through the haven. If their fur laden boots brush against a petal or stem, a gentle wind will push them back to the middle of the path, but it goes unnoticed by the ones it guides. If it is able to grow in Norway, then it is here, in this garden. There are hyacinths in the shade, and freesias in the light; there are moonflowers awaiting the night, and sunflowers stretching their limbs toward Sunna. There are lilies floating across the small pond in the center of the garden, and purple heather swaying around the waters. Hydrangeas, and snowdrops, and lilacs. Stor nøkkeroses, and vivendels, and revebjelles. There is a still beauty in this garden, one every guest can attest to.

There is beauty, and magic, for if you looked- really looked- you would find little creatures bustling about the flowers. Tiny fey folk resting in the bulbs of the flowers, trolls keeping the stems of greenery straight and strong, and maybe even a few merfolk in the “small pond”. These little creatures keep away from the eyes of prying humans, they only ever make their presence known when small children tumble down the paths, so they may tell their mothers of the things they saw. But of all the fey and trolls in this garden, they are incapable of running it. They are not the ones who live in the cottage.

The garden’s guests will tell others the one who sells flowers and herbs is a young man who is too beautiful to even be a man. They say the violets in his garden are the same color as his eyes, and that he dresses humbly in furs and jerkin like the rest of them, but also adorns two rings with sparkling jewels atop. They say he is kind even if he doesn’t smile, they say he looks at his plants as if they were little children, and they say he lives alone. They say they know him.

They are mistaken, for if they truly knew him they would know he is, in fact, a witch. Not the ones humans have made up with their fears of the unknown- no, he is a real witch, one who works with nature, and the gods, and the trolls and fey. They would know he wears one ring in honor of his patron goddess Freyja, goddess of love, beauty, fertility, and battles who loves sparkling jewels, and he wears the second ring in honor of his beloved.

No one truly knows the witch in the cottage, but no one ever pries and the witch never utters a word unless it is about flowers or prices.

By the time the guests have left, either empty handed or with pockets full of seeds, they are happy and content to have found such a wondrous place in their lackluster town. They have spent their entire day in an enchanted garden, though they are not entirely sure what makes it enchanted or magical. They just know it is. When the stars arrive, they close their eyes and drift off to sleep and dream of singing flowers and a mysterious man with eyes of violet.

When they wake, there are more important things to do than visit the garden, but there are always others who find the path and wander inside. Always.

The witch’s garden is open every day, except for one day out of every month. The path is hidden to all so no one may stumble upon it. The night before, the witch waits. He sits in his garden with the fey and trolls, and looks to the night sky and awaits the one coming to him. No matter the weather, no matter the time, he waits, and tonight he waits with a clay pot in his bare hands.

Lukas Bondevik, the witch of the garden, hears the approaching wings in the otherwise silent night and tilts his head back to the black sky. He sees the figure soaring through the stars, a symphony of freedom echoing through the forest with every beat of the figure’s wings. A winged horse. Most would believe themselves drunk if they were to see such a thing, but Lukas could always see more than the average person, and that, believe it or not, had nothing to do with his witchery. He was simply an odd case.

The winged horse draws closer and closer until it drops to the garden, its white coat shimmering in the full moon light. The horse is a magnificent creature, truly a beast of legends, but it is not the horse that Lukas looks to, it is the winged rider.

Armor adorns him, but it is not bulky like the ones worn by the soldiers of Denmark Lukas has seen when he ventures to market. This armor wraps around its wearers body like silk, apart from his shoulders which are, in fact, very bulky. Resting atop his forehead, beneath soft blond hair, is a circlet made of the same material as his armor with metal wings at the sides of it. A round shield is strapped to his forearm, and strapped to his back is a spear. Soft lavender eyes rest on Lukas, their hunger for battle quenched, as it always is whenever he visits his love.

Lukas’s heart will not cease its rapid beating, and he wants nothing more than to run to his beloved and pull him from his horse, but he will not. He will be patient, as always, and stay put until the other has dismounted. The armor is silent, it does not obnoxiously clang with every little movement made. Armored boots step against the ground, between the flowers, and the witch and warrior regard one another. The warrior drops his shield and unstraps his spear before he takes off across the flowers and flings himself against the witch, who put the pot down in order to hold his beloved.

His beloved smells of flowers, of liljekonvall- lily of the valley. He always smells of the drooping flower, and that is why it is Lukas’s favorite flower.

“I have missed you, my dear,” the warrior Timo whispers against his ear. “More than usual.”

Lukas can feel Timo’s tears against his neck- he always cries when they see each other after their time apart- and he tightens his hold. He does not have the strength or the courage to whisper how much he, too, missed the warrior, or how lonely he has been recently. Not even the trolls could chase away his bitter loneliness, it was too deep and thick, an ever consuming pool of black tattooed along his bones and stitched through his throat. All he can do right now is tighten his hold and hope Timo understands.

Timo lets go first and smiles, creating tiny dimples against his cheeks. It is blasphemous to think, but Lukas believes Timo to be more beautiful than Freyja when he smiles. Lukas’s knees shake and he silently tells himself to keep still less he wants Timo to poke fun at him. But Timo only takes his bare hands in his own and says,

“Have you missed me?”

So much so I thought I would lose my mind. “A bit.”

It is not the truth, but Timo’s smile widens anyway. “That makes me happy, I am happy now, Lukas!” The white wings stretched behind Timo give a small flutter, further proving his point. “I am very happy.”

Lukas’s lips twitched, and he doesn’t bother stopping their movement. It was inevitable. “I am aware, but it is unnecessary to tell me, I can see it on your face.”

“Ah, human ways are very strange.” Lukas’s smile fades. Timo is not human, he is far from it. If he didn’t have his wings, there was a possibility he could pass for one, but there is an otherworldliness to him. It shines in his eyes, and twitches with his movements, and may the gods forbid anyone see him fight. “But I love being here, I can smile as much as I want! Now shall we go inside, or walk the garden? I wish to hear about you, my dear, you and your witchery and your flowers. They haunt my dreams, do you know?”

But it didn’t matter how different Timo was from Lukas, for Freyja blessed the world with love so everyone may one day find it. And Lukas found it in a Valkyrie.

“Wait.” He picks up the pot at his feet and curses his slightly trembling fingers. “I wish to give you a present first.”

“A present!” Timo gasps. He comes even closer, lowering his head to exam the pot. “You are giving me a pot of dirt? Oh, how glorious! I will cherish it forever, though I was not aware humans gift one another dirt.”

Maybe Lukas would have laughed if he weren’t so nervous. “No, no, it is not dirt. It is… a new breed of flower I created with magic.” Timo’s brilliant eyes found his, and he was quite sure he fell into Hel for he swore his heart stopped. “It only blooms when someone gives it to the one they love, and that love must be mutual.”

The slight mischief in Timo’s eyes died as Lukas finished his vague explanation. He says nothing more as he stares at the pot- he does not ask what sort of magic was used, nor does he ask what the flower will look like once it blooms. The one who is usually brimming with questions and bubbly conversations is quiet. Still, and unnaturally so. Lukas holds his breath. He is not one to make gifts such as these. He will make his best tea, he will offer his softest furs, but never magic. It is sacred to him, and strange to others. But Timo is not “others”. He is Timo, Lukas’s one and only, and he wishes to share something new with him, something no one else has ever seen in his garden. And that is this.

Calloused hands rest atop his own and pull the pot closer. Together, they hold the pot and stare at the dirt. An indigo light begins to shine from within, glowing ever so softly. And then a small green sprout appears through the dirt. The indigo light guides it up, further, urging it on. The stem becomes longer until petals begin forming. They droop slightly, as they should, as the blue light spins colors together. When the light vanishes, sky blue and white whorl together along soft petals that face the dirt it came from, and the stem sways softly in the gentle wind. Their love created a flower, a gorgeous one that has never been seen by anyone else in this town, in this country, in this world.

But Timo does not comment on the flower. He raises his brilliant gaze and stares at Lukas across the blue-and-white flower with a peaceful look on his face. He is not smiling, but he seems content, calm. “When we Valkyries die, we either go to Odin’s Valhalla or Freyja’s Fólkvangr, but not I. I will come here and live among your flowers until Ragnarök is upon us. So when I die, when a month passes and I do not come in this form, plant our flower so I may find solace there.”

Lukas doesn’t know what to say. He usually doesn’t, but this time he can hardly breathe. The only thing he can do is lean over their flower and press his lips to Timo’s. They are as soft as petals, his breath is as sweet as nectar. Timo parts his lips and Lukas is undone. They break away in order to put their flower down, but they find each other again. Timo wraps his arms around Lukas’s waist and lifts him up effortlessly with strength hidden within his small body, and Lukas complies by wrapping his legs around armored hips and ignoring the tears staining his cheeks. They disappear inside the cottage, leaving behind the witch’s garden, the warrior’s winged horse and their flower.

An entire month passes, one entire moon cycle, and the guests who find the path take it. Mesmerized, they walk beneath the trellis and wisteria and are taken into the floral paradise, but they do not marvel at the beauty this time. They gawk at the still, pale body curled around a singular blue-and-white flower, naked apart from the rings on his fingers. The tears have long since dried on his cheeks, and the warmth has long since faded from his skin, for this happened during the night with only the fey, trolls, merfolk, and flowers as witnesses. It is a collective effort, but his body is buried in his garden, among his flowers and creatures of myth.

When Lukas Bondevik’s younger brother arrives a few days later to watch over his deceased’s garden, he finds two blue-and-white flowers dancing in the gentle breeze, side-by-side, with their roots tangled together beneath the surface.

#aphrarepairweek2020 #norfin #aph norway #aph finland #hws norway #hws finland #tea writes

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homestuck-writing · 4 years

Note

Here’s something a bit different: the beta kids play sburb, but instead of the beta trolls it’s the friendsim trolls. Who is most likely to be the patron troll (like Kanaya and Rose or Karkat and Jade) for each kid and why?

Ok the answer was longer than I intended, I hope you enjoy my analysis -Mod Damara

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John- Folykl and Kuprum! Now this may sound weird but the 3 of them enjoys praking people, so that's already something to bound over, also John is a dork so they would enjoy messing with him generally, and if John can deal with Vriska he can deal with the Gremlins as well.

Alternatively: Diemen (Both considered babies by the fandom, but they have a lot of character dept that goes ignored), or Vikare (Another dork, and also I feel like he would too enjoy Magic tricks and John shitty movies), Bronya (She's Mom, John is baby, but mostly Bronya just likes to help everyone).

Rose- Another one that may seen odd but Stelsa, Rose values intelligence yes, but I feel like someone extroverted would be good for her, I feel like Rose would respect her dedication (she's show to be very dedicated to her Job in friendsim), while also enjoying her company, since she's very friendly and would love to help Rose with Alchemey outfits.

Alternatively: Boldir (She's very mysterious, and also she knows and Rose can respect that), Tyzias and Martisi (Lesbians Unite, and also they are both too tired to give a fuck, big respect).

Dave- Cirava, ok first of all Cirava would think Dave's Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff comic is funny as shit, if they mean it ironically or not it's not up for me to decide, but they both dig each other's chill Aesthetic, and the both suffer from traumas, Dave keeps a cool facade, while Cirava just tries to ignore their depression and is scared to be close to other after the incidente, imagine Dave rap's while Vapowarve plays in the background, this is now my BroOTP what have you done?

Alternatively: Remele (she's also has a comic after all, and she is genuinely confident in herself, so I think that would be a good energy to Dave), Mallek (Time players unite, and they both tries to be seen as cool dude™), Chixie (RAP COLAB WHEN? Also she would just enjoy Dave being chill since most of her life isn't chill at all, Dave would think she's nice).

Jade- Wanshi, I have no doubt, Jade is very friendly and Wanshi needs a friends, also both furries, Wanshi and Jade would talk about their Oc's and similar interests! Jade wouldn't make Wanshi feel like she's being treated like a dumb kid, and Jade just happy to have good and kind friend.

Alternatively: Skylla (Good dog best friend! Both badass girls but also really nice, Skylla is show to live far from others trolls hives, so she could help Jade with feeling lonely), Konyyl (May seen a werid match but Konyyl is show to be nice to her close ones, strong shoulder to cry on after all, Konyyl compliments her on her robotic skills), Tegiri (Honestly I think it would be hilarious to see these two interacting, Tegiri respects Jade's intelligence, and Jade just thinks he's a weird funny dude).

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disegnidipizzo · 5 years

Photo

finally some decent refs for these two messes on legs/fins

the whole story under the cut, prepare bc i got carried away and i am not sorry about anything, at all, ever, in any circumstance.

SALVIA NUNARI

Salvia Nunari would rather tend for their forbidden plants garden than the troll grubs and would sneak out a lot to do her thing in the very dilapidated greenhouse their ancestor left behind, along with all the books on plants, herbal medicine and poisons (and some interesting things about jades). They know that jades Shouldn’t stray from their path but if their lusus taught them something, it’s that sometimes, you need to do things in the dark.

Considering that they’re a racoon, they also say a lot of things about finding solace in what one has left behind. It wasn’t about trash, but you got the gist. And they have a pope hat, but you don’t know what a pope is. Still, they look funny with it on. Like a monarch or a ruler of All Things Unwanted and Abandoned.

As they got more experienced, they started making new breeds of plants and crossbreeding some relatively harmless carnivores to create a poisonous/venomous strain, in the very faint hope that MAYBE they could be somewhat employed by the Empire. It wasn’t that much of a plan but. It worked. Sort of. When the baby plant opened its trap, Salvia got poisoned to death thanks to a bite to the neck. Turns out that the new strain can move rather effortlessly and quickly and that it consider food most things that move.

The first death allows em to ascend to rainbow drinker.

Follows a minor freak out due to “HOLY FUCK IM GLOWING HOW DO I TURN THIS OFF” and “I’m dead. I’m so dead im still alive.”

Conveniently, their ancestor’s Very Interesting Things About Jades handbook does contain info on rainbow drinkers and how to turn off the glow. Salvia doesn’t die twice for another day! Good thing it was all in the next chapter.

They had to hide the deathly wound lest being found out (and most likely culled in .5 seconds) before going back to the caverns, hence why they wear the neckpiece. It wasn’t really theirs in the first place, it was one of their ancestor’s ones that had gotten too small for them (but was kinda part of their uniform).

TIAMAT KIITCH

Tiamat Kiitch enjoyes being eccentric. When you rank so up high, it’s only fair to flaunt your taste, even if it’s not the most accepted by you signclassmates. Sucks to be them, not everybody can understand what it means to Really be a patron of the arts. Or of the artists. Maybe this is why everybody sees you as unfit for the imperial army and would rather shove you on a planet so that they can get some sensory relief. Because a Violet that supports so many painters, sculptors and even musicians of all classes, even below cerulean? Sacrilegious. Or maybe they really just don’t like it. Violets aren’t exactly social with one another. Call that a competitive environment, ay.

As her Departure Day to said planet of Thank God Sound Can’t Travel In The Void of Space, she has to make preparations. A whole sweep ahead is not too early. She’s going out with a bang, mofos.

Also, it’s only fair she would pick the best trolls to be part of her new, off planet hive estate staff. And she is NOT going to cheap out on the good stuff. Going full crew over here, from the doctors to cleaning staff and doctors for the cleaning stuff. Don’t worry, she can afford it.

And she goes to Personally pick the heads of each branch of people who work for her. Since jades make for the best doctors and caretakers, she pays a visit to a few caverns that have great reputation. Which is a good amount of them.

Among the (very few but very capable) jades that have been picked, she just had to have an eye for the one that has that something of mystery and secret but also that knows how to make medicine out of most plants (how did they learn?? Who cares, they can do that and i want them. Get in, we’re going off planet.). Also the one that looks like they’re up to Trouble.

And that’s where the problems begin.

The Actual Plot

Rainbow drinkers need blood, which is easy enough to get on Alternia, since trolls are canonically very violent as a species and all that. Just using dead bodies lying around is easy, there’s also the culled grubs in the caves that need disposing. Yes it sounds bad because feeding babies to carnivorous plants is objectively bad. Also, soil which contains troll blood/ is watered with troll blood is very good for most plants, but leads to fun mutations. Some of them are learning how to “talk” by opening their petals, leaves or traps. Not great conversation partners but you’ll take anything.

Life with Tiamat would mean increasing the chances of being found as a drinker and being culled, blood harder to find and less chances to experiment with herbology independently.

BUT staying wouldn't be better, as once they are cloistering age, they won't be able to even see their garden anymore.

You start to wonder if this is how your ancestor felt.

You also start to wonder how long has the violetblood been staring at yo-AFJDGN

When Tiamat has an eye out for something/someone, she gets super into observing them. From a distance at first, to understand how they work their magic. Not that she needs to, but she feels like a documentary worker. If she knew what those were.

During the picking process she was surprised by Salvia: despite being rather small, even for a midblood, they had fast reflexes and overall sharp senses, which kind of doesn’t sound right. The hivemaster and some hivemates described them as more aloof and not particularly outstanding outside of average efficiency.

Im realising this could be a disney channel vampire movie plot minus the violence.

They aren't scheduled for leaving for around a sweep, as the colony tiamat is gonna be overseeing will need time before its declared operative and ready for aristocracy to live in. This gives Salvia ample time to transfer books, notes and plant seeds/stems into more easy to carry media. Paper does take up a lot of space. It’s easy enough as books can be digitalised quickly. Technology is great.

More importantly, they need the SOIL. Which needs to be fertilised with special sauce. Which is blood. You decide to get a snack.

Now, you imagine being a fish lady that is following one of your most brilliant but most mysterious doctors around, only to find out they are a vampire and that they water the soil of their plants with troll blood. And that feeds dead grubs to the carnivores. (And that they look kinda cute while glowing in the dark and with a splorch of blood dripping down their lip wait what)

Now imagine hearing a gasp mixed with a glub and seeing your employer which could have you killed on the spot or kill you herself while you are in the middle of getting a snack with your plant and glow on.

Remember that Tiamat is a good 40 cms / one foot and a few inches taller (minus shoes). So you do the math that, even if you run, you won't have much and also run Where? If you fight? Might die. Neither? Also probably die.

So what happens is a very intense stare off. And i mean neither blink for a solid 2 minutes.

And then Tiamat, slightly intrigued of having a rainbow drinker (super rare and so unjustly or maybe not so unjustly feared) just goes. "So.. that’s your special sauce."

And Salvia just confesses, accepting a death that was gonna come anyways. This was a stupid plan.

But that death doesn't arrive, Tiamat could never kill or let die something so unique, so completely unruly and also potentially deadly that is by her side die on her. That is the embodiment of what she wishes to keep alive with her patronage, you think having a forbidden vampire scientist is out of the question? Nuh-uh. They are Gucci. So Gucci they’re Supreme.

With time the bond strengthens and they slowly go quadrant

Well, its a sometimes sorta vacillating quadrant but they are into each other.

They share half a brain cell each

That Gay Shit (tm)

The love part is mainly on Tiamat because hey, its intimate yknow? Being the only one knowing about something so personal. It escalates into giving salvia special treatment/privileges such as better meals, a small lab of their own, a supply of dead trolls to get the blood from (executed political dissidents or criminals but thats another story). Eventually it grows more to being about their personality and their knowledge but also a bit about how they can make an amputation go clean as a bottle of disinfectant, but they will forget to eat a bunch of times in a row.

Salvia does sorta reciprocate the red feelings, but at the same time they lean more on the blackrom side. Constantly making subtle remarks they havent tasted violet blood before. Sorta leaving thankful notes with a lipstick/bloodstain and a small caption of "wish this was yours <3<"

Also salvia purposelly red flirting in front of tiamat with other staff ("But i just thought they look cute :(( cant you see they look like a snacc ")

But theres also days in which the roles are reversed bc thats how fluctuating quadrants work!

During those days, Tiamat will be taking up a good chunk of extra space around Salvia, just as a reminder that she is not only above them on the hemospectrum, but also a whole lot taller and stronger. Also that she can take away those privileges. Temporarily. Unless they can earn them back.

On the other hand, Salvia in red is super affectionate, loves doing Tiamat's hair and makeup and letting her do the same. They leave occasional small kisses which are more like pecks or "hey feel my fangs".

So in short:

Red Salvia: the datemate that gives you a makeover in the morning, calls you "princess" and spoils you with gestures and cuddles.

Black Salvia: little shit, messes with your stuff, reminds you that you look delicious when alive.

Red Tiamat: spoils materially, gives plenty of time, shares meals and listens carefully to all that you have to say.

Black Tiamat: would keep you with the hanmibal mask on if she could, keeps you on your toes, stay in your place and be good.

#Fantrolls #homestuck #hiveswap #ocs #fantroll #salvia #tiamat #DDPdraws

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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 years

Text

Insiders claim that Google's internet-fixing Jigsaw is a toxic vanity project for its founder, where women keep a secret post-crying touchup kit in the bathroom

In 2016, Google announced that it was renaming its small Google Ideas unit to "Jigsaw," giving the new unit a much broader, "wildly ambitious" mandate: to tackle "surveillance, extremist indoctrination, and censorship."

In the years since, the company -- now a separate entity under Google's Alphabet parent-company -- has made a lot of headlines for products that, on closer inspection, were deeply flawed: the troll-detecting AI that could be terminally confused by typos (which was then used to produce a deeply flawed map of America's most trolly places). Other projects (generally more modest than the "wildly ambitious" mission statement implied) were more credible, but so far have not borne much fruit: turning Change My View into a standalone, separate from Reddit; publishing a giant, amazing open data-set of news links; producing a censorship-busting DNS proxy; providing a pop-up dictionary of security terms.

Some of the other "wildly ambitious" projects were never released: the company crushed its own report on the use of trolling by state actors to achieve authoritarian ends.

One project stands out as living up to Jigsaw's promise: Project Shield, which helps journalistic organizations defend themselves against Denial of Service attacks, a frequent tactic employed by state actors to silence unflattering reportage.

People who work at (or partner with) Jigsaw are bound by tight, far-reaching nondisclosure agreements, but Motherboard's Lorenzo Franceschi-Bicchierai (previously) got many current and former Jigsaw employees to speak anonymously about the conditions inside the mysterious "think/do" tank.

They describe a toxic work environment where complaints are met with vicious retaliation; where women are demeaned, sidelined and degraded (the women of Jigsaw have a secret bathroom kit "with mascara, moisturizing spray, and other items to help employees in distress hide their tears"); and where women on Google's anonymous gwe-anon message board warn any woman thinking of applying for a job at Jigsaw that it is a misogynist cesspool.

As to the actual mission of Jigsaw, the insiders say that the first priority is not to fix the internet or defend its most vulnerable users, but to generate headlines and accolades for Jared Cohen -- a US State Department veteran who served under Condoleeza Rice and Hillary Clinton before becoming senior advisor to Eric Schmidt, longtime CEO of Google and now Chair of its Board. Cohen and Schmidt have a very close relationship, and co-authored a book: "The New Digital Age."

The insiders say that Jigsaw's internal leadership are alternately patronizing and hostile when it comes to the internet users they say they want to defend, and cite an incident in which Cohen threatened to scuttle a joint project with the world-leading Citizen Lab if they did not feature Jigsaw's logo on the project's site.

Franceschi-Bicchierai claims that Jigsaw has hemorrhaged two dozen employees (out of 60) since mid-2018, including Lucas Dixon, the first engineer at Jigsaw, who was chief scientist when he resigned and published an open letter to colleagues decrying Jigsaw's culture of retaliation, fear, and ego.

Google and Jigsaw are apparently aware of their cultural problem, but their major effort to address it has been nothing short of bizarre: "Jigsaw’s leaders tasked six employees to form an internal committee, interview all other employees—including each other—and write a report that would detail the team’s problems and potential solutions, according to current and former employees." The committee's report was "dismal," revealing widespread dislike of Cohen, but it was also "purposefully vague, because employees would not have felt comfortable sharing personal complaints with the whole team and feared retribution for speaking up."

Franceschi-Bicchierai appeared on this week's Cyber podcast -- another Motherboard project -- to discuss his article. In the interview, he describes Jigsaw as serving the role of a diplomatic corps for Google -- a company that is larger than many of the world's governments -- helping shape public opinion of Google and its role in an ethical, sustainable internet.

Cohen would not comment on Franceschi-Bicchierai's article. After its publication, he sent an internal memo to Jigsaw employees, lamenting that he was "deeply disappointed for all of you to see our culture characterized in this way," and "as CEO, I take this responsibility seriously and I’m committed to ensuring we continue to improve." (The odd phrasing of the former does not inspire confidence in the latter).

https://boingboing.net/2019/07/03/missing-piece-of-the-puzzle.html

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