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captainsspnanon · 9 months

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C2E70 - Causatum - rewatch

Well, nothing like being unable to get onto tumblr after a CR episode because my ACCOUNT RANDOMLY GETS FUCKING TERMINATED. Here’s hoping that it comes back soon, I will not be pleased if I lose my 2014 account. (it’s back!)

In the meantime, LET’S HAVE YASHA DRAMA.

Oh no, Liam’s remote! OH NO I RECOGNIZE THE PROPS FOR THE SAM AD BIT

OH GOD Sam starting off with the bit, then immediately interrupting himself to say ‘you know what, I didn’t even look at what they sent me to read’

…*looks up causatum* oh hey that’s an actual word! It basically means ‘an effect’. That’s cool! It’s not a word I knew, and until now, I just never considered that it actually meant something versus some fantasy word.

Nope, I had no focus. So now I’m back again, day two of having no tumblr. I wouldn’t say I’m going through withdrawals, but I am NOT happy. Some quick googling it seems like tumblr support is a monday through friday thing, so the fact that I got termed early Saturday morning? *sigh* I am impatient. (shockingly, am back! Which you know. Because you are reading this)

I don’t even know how to verbalize my Fjord thoughts here. There’s a strong reluctance to tell the Bright Queen of their failure, at least with any sort of speed. From Talks, I know that he’s afraid they’d be thrown in jail, but there’s something tickling the back of my brain about not wanting to disappoint authority, not wanting to be seen as a failure even if nothing came of it, Vandran, insecurity, deception. I really wish I had the ability to take these jumbled thoughts and make coherent sense of it, because whether or not it’s accurate, it’s an interesting take.

For all the laughter at Caduceus apologizing for raising his voice, he actually was. He wasn’t shouting or anything, but he did raise his voice and was speaking with more firmness and passion than he typically does. It is also a great moment of him asking if anyone had the experience of NOT automatically assuming that they’re the bad guys, if anyone had the experience of being trusted, and the answer was essentially a resounding ‘no’. That, so much, is the core of the Mighty Nein, and it’s the reason that Caduceus ended up being such a wonderful fit.

(Something I thought of yesterday when of course I couldn’t post it, but another heavy theme of the M9 campaign ended up being cults. Caleb was in a cult, Jester was in/formed a cult, Fjord was tiptoeing around the Uk’otoa cult, Yasha was/is in a cult. Hell, you could make [barely] an argument that Beau was kinda in a cult because she was forced to join the cobalt soul against her will, even though it’s not a cult. [also I accidentally typed fjorced, what the hell me] Perhaps the same thin argument could be made for Nott being forced [I did fjorced again wtf] to join the goblin tribe for the period of time that she did.)

Ugh, Jester crying hits me so much harder than any other of Laura’s PCs, I think because she’s the most outwardly bubbly and high spirits. I also forgot that she had doubts about Yasha! I know for a fact that this is gonna be momentary but I think it’s very powerful that it’s there at all. Especially for those who are reacting more negatively (Fjord and Beau) it adds a level of validity to their feelings. If EVEN Jester thinks this!

Caduceus has been the best rock that this scene needed. Fjord never really goes head to head with Caduceus, but I think this is the most oppositional that he’ll be all campaign, and it is a fantastic interplay. Caduceus with his faith in Yasha versus Fjord with his history of betrayal from Sabien.

I really appreciate that when Matt narrates that the soldiers have been alerted by the Bright Queen to expect something, not just leaving them in the dark as Fjord feared, no one gives Fjord shit over it. There’s no ‘I told you so’s, there’s no ‘see?’, there’s not even subtle nudging. Everyone recognizes that it was a fully valid suspicion, and that there was no shame or harm in having it. PLUS they still work to subtly give more information via the whisper campaign, again validating Fjord (and Beau – just focusing on Fjord because he was more vocal about it).

Huh, it’s weird to hear Baphomet. Well, I guess it’s not a specific dnd thing, but I’d still expected something of an Exandrian equivalent. Then again, the gods and such do still occasionally get referred to by the 5e names in this campaign, so it’s not fully distancing themselves yet. (I’m sorry, Fey Realm may match with TLoVM, but I still replace it in my head with Feywild. Same with Shadow Realm and Shadowfell.)

I LOVE Matt’s “really” when Jester rolls a 21 for deception for Nancy McFancyPants. THAT is the agony of the DM right there, and it is GLORIOUS. Yes Matt, they do believe her. They believe her so well.

Is this the first mention of Eiselcross????? The ballista provide their own ammunition!!! THE FORESHADOWING!!! Ah, not the first mention, the first was a book from the Happy Fun Ball. But it didn’t have the foreshadowing!!

It always is interesting to see Caduceus have his small moments of pure intimidation. Someone comes up to the room when he’s casting Legend Lore? Even though the guy is already apologetic and ready to leave, he gives himself black eyes for a scary appearance, and then magically closes the door. On the one hand, it feels very out of character for Caduceus. On the other hand, I wonder if this is tricks that he would use with his siblings when he was feeling irritated or trying to prank them. In that mindset, the few times he uses these tricks makes a lot more sense, especially as they’re never actually harmful. I admit that I’ve struggled with Caduceus’s relationship with his siblings, specifically the trickster part of him, as we rarely get to see it in campaign. I feel like we only really saw it when he used the bone flute on his sister? But Taliesin has clearly kept it in his mind, as he mentions it a number of times on Talks. Though I suppose I’ll be discussing this more in an episode or two, judging by the episode titles.

Wonderful conversations between Jester and Beau, and then Beau and Caleb. Not much to say, aside from just well done for all, ouch for Liam with the lag, and very good character beats all around. Dives much more into Jester and Beau, very much appreciated, and lovely to see.

“Were you there in the cave?” “I’m never far” HITS SO MUCH DIFFERENT when you know that Sprinkle is the Traveler’s vessel at times. AAAA

I think Matt wanted this to be in a volcano even more than Jester, considering she made an offhand comment and he pushed it further. I wonder how much of Rumblecusp he had fleshed out at this point. Likely the forgetfulness and Vilya already, but was the volcano already there? Or did it get added because of this conversation? If he added it after, maybe that’s where he came up with the idea for what’shisface. Vokodo.

Caleb is 100% the reason why I love wizards as a class. The teleportation circle! Caleb checking the supplies! The beautiful description from Matt! Love it so much!

And I’m very pleased they acknowledge the moorbounders being left where they were. Goodbye kitties, I will love you forever.

Again, something I continuously wonder is how much of an NPC Matt has determined based off of player conversation. My thought process here is that the PCs are very thoroughly discussing how the Laughing Hand situation went, arguing for how they were responsible and how they were not. A lot of good points were brought up on either side, and it was not anything touched on lightly. With Matt listening to all of this, did he have a thought process of how the Bright Queen may think of it, and upon hearing the conversation, add that to how he thought she may react? With the discussions of how they couldn’t actually have been responsible, did that influence how Matt had her behave so supportively? Or did he always know that the Bright Queen would not see it as their fault, as long as they didn’t eff up presenting it to her. After all, he didn’t ask for persuasion when Caduceus was explaining what happened, only when he asked for permissions after. I know why we didn’t get Matt as frequently on Talks (or 4sd for c3), but this is why I itch for it. I’ve LOVE to get inside his brain for these things.

(I also love that the cast clearly forgot that they warned the BQ about Empire shenanigans, as I’d also forgotten it given how long it’s taken me to watch this, so the reminder here was appreciated)

Aaagh, the scene with the prisoner has an added level of tension to it because of the delay and difficulty caused by virtually streaming in. Liam doesn’t have good visual to see when someone is about to speak, and with the lag there’s overlapping talk which may have been a non-issue had he been present (not hearing Caduceus offering to assist, talking over Matt trying to speak at the Scourger). We still get a very powerful scene, but sadly I feel like a little bit of Caleb’s capacity for intimidation gets a little clipped with the disconnect. Too bad we never really get to find out why this woman had knowledge of Bren, as well as why she had the forearm scars but not the maze-like tattoos. Earlier in her training? Perhaps, but to have enough knowledge of Bren? I don’t think we ever find out what Trent may have communicated with his trainees about him, whether he maintained the ruse of being fully in control, or allowed them to know that Bren had escaped but could be lured back in?

I know Taliesin gets credit for being amazing with one-liners, but honestly – they all are. “Enjoy your mouthful of lies when the choke it out of you.” *chefs kiss*

Nott and Yeza’s relationship has just an interesting dynamic. I haven’t read her comic, so I don’t know how it’s portrayed there, but in campaign, Nott describes herself has having been bullied even as a halfling, and so gave a reasonable interpretation that she may have been more meek, with her life since getting killed and transformed causing her to become more outspoken. In her earlier interactions with Yeza, there was a meekness present – but honesty more of just a fear of being rejected. She spoke for him at times, but it was reasonable enough with him being fairly traumatized. However, we come to now. They’ve made the decision to send Yeza to Nicodranas, and Nott firmly and repeatedly shuts down any suggestion of him learning to swim, getting close to a boat, and repeatedly makes decisions on his behalf. Yeza doesn’t bristle at this and instead takes it fully in stride, as if this is the relationship dynamic that he’s already used to. Of course, much of this is the meta sense that Sam needs to make a lot of the decisions with Matt ‘yes and’ing, rather than Matt making any of the large decisions. Yeza is very much an NPC that is also a character prop. Anything Matt does with Yeza is going to be for having Sam make decisions with Nott, and Matt really isn’t going to do things with Yeza that are counter intuitive to the main storyline, or something that would attempt to pull agency away from Sam. I’m trying to remember, but I think all player created NPCs have that level of ‘character prop’, versus the DM created NPCs who can act in ways to spin the story. For this campaign, Marion is very supportive of anything Jester does and displays clear love and affection for her, Beau’s father is cool and distant, her mother is caring but weak, Caduceus’s family are all exactly as he describes, and the same for C1 and C3. Now, the player created NPCs aren’t all good and loving (see Beau’s family and Zeenoth, the twins’ father, Tary’s family, etc) but I don’t recall Matt pulling any big twists with any of them. If the player wrote in the backstory that the person was X, then Matt plays them as X. ….I’ve twisted myself in a circle here XD Going back to my original thought, I do adore the Nott and Yeza relationship as well as fully understand and appreciate criticism it has of being not entirely healthy. There is a strong passivity to Yeza that wouldn’t work for PC to PC relationship, but makes sense for a PC to player-created NPC relationship. The same is not true for a PC to DM-created NPC relationship such as Caleb/Essek, or Vax/Gilmore. Because those NPCs are more established and can grow as characters, whereas the player-created NPCs tend to be more set in their original description.

*reads that entire mess of a paragraph* …… I’m just going to not even touch that or try to make more sense of it, moving on. *reminds myself that this rewatch write up is to improve my writing abilities and improve my sense of critical analysis rather than just passively watching something I enjoy. I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything, just make sense of my own thoughts, and maybe find some other words than ‘interesting’ and ‘fascinating’.*

Wait what? Caleb intimated his past to Essek, who I thought KNEW from the first meeting with handing over the beacon, but didn’t? And then Essek asks if Caleb was a Scourger and Caleb says no but Essek clearly doesn’t believe him. I am genuinely surprised by this, because I had remembered it as Essek having known as of day one! I mean, I guess all the parallels and conversation in 97 on do still make sense if Essek only realized now, but it changes my perception of it a bit.

On the other hand, Caleb very clearly throws up some masks (that squinting smile!) while talking with Essek, while at the same time being very truthful about his feelings and request.

(I really do adore the moments where Liam has Caleb speak to himself, when it’s done quickly and effectively. Here is fantastic, back on the boat where he calls himself an asshole and starts copying spells, the bit in the tower where he goes to the memory room alone after showing everything else off. I think the only time that I wasn’t a huge fan of it was early on when Yasha, Jester, and Fjord get kidnapped, because I felt like the scene ran a bit too long. But I think every other instance worked well.)

Oh hey! We get the lore for Caduceus’s backstory! And I know from a highlight reel on youtube that this is the first aspect of Travis just completely missing the ‘Stone’ tie in XD My only singular problem with this lore is that Dust doesn’t feel like a last name. Clay? Yes. Stone? Yes. Dust??? ...don’t feel like it. Looking at a surname website (just a random one, I’m not spending time actually researching this), Dust as a last name in the US – just over 1,300. Clay? Almost 62,000. Stone – just over 203,000. So….that explains it, at least. ….*looks up my own last name* HA it doesn’t even show up, just offers variations.

Jester and Nott panic is the most common, but Jester and Beau panic is the most entertaining. Though I will make my minor Taliesin complaint here, Laura and Marisha specified that they were going up separately AND they were talking in whispers, and then Caduceus was just there for the conversation. Here, it’s played very humorously and works well. But Taliesin does this repeatedly (and I’m pretty sure unintentionally), I remember getting VERY pissed off at one point in C1 where Percy is interrupting a conversation between Vex and Vax when they’re on a completely different floor of a house. Each player has their own little things I nitpick, and unfortunately this is one of Taliesin’s that I’m not particularly fond of.

LOL Caleb/Liam trying to have a little scene with The Boys and everyone giving him shit. XDDD

DAIRON!!!! Cannot wait for 71! Though by the name I thought that was when they went to ……. OH I’m thinking of Family Shatters. That’s not until 96!!! Okay that makes way more sense.

Also, is this the episode where Travis dips his hand into his drink cup instead of his snack cup by mistake? I didn’t see him do it, but I also wasn’t checking heavily. *looks at youtube comments* Yes, it is! *watches it like three times in a row* odd, I remembered Matt seeing it, but it looks like he’s laughing at bottom table, not top table.

#cr c2 rewatch #critical role #the mighty nein

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jungkxook · 4 years

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—moonstruck. (m)

⟶ pairing: taehyung x reader

⟶ genre: werewolf!taehyung au / arranged marriage au / smut with a sprinkle of fluff

⟶ words: 7,421

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ summary: in hindsight, being friends with a pack of werewolves and, thus, suddenly being thrown into a world of supernatural furries and other inhuman beings isn’t something you would recommend but it was too late to back out now, especially when you consider the fact that apparently you’re now being “hunted” and the only way to save you is to be mated with taehyung. whatever that means.

⟶ warnings: multiple smut scenes, first time (virgin!taehyung), clumsy sex, soft and gentle sex, sort of rough sex, all the sex, cunnilingus, riding, hair pulling, knotting, buckets of cum, biting kink, slight impregnation kink, unprotected sex, creampie

⟶ disclaimer: first fic back after a long hiatus and i’m suddenly v nervous to post this!! also this is shamelessly and 100% inspired by an episode of the show outlander (to be exact, the wedding episode). i couldn’t help myself!!

“Are you serious right now?”

In hindsight, being friends with a pack of werewolves and, thus, suddenly being thrown into a world of supernatural furries and other inhuman beings isn’t something you would recommend but it was too late to back out now, especially when you consider the fact that apparently you’re now being “hunted.” Whatever that means.

Had you heard yourself speak a year ago before meeting Taehyung and having your life turned upside down, you would have surely thought you were insane, and you would have definitely thought Taehyung is insane, and the rest of his friends who are, subsequently, now yours ━ each of whom are all currently splayed out before you in Namjoon’s spacious country-side home with similar grave looks staring back at you.

“Dead serious,” Hoseok takes the liberty of breaking the odd silence saturating the kitchen. He’s made it a point to be on time for once, which you consider great and all if it wasn’t basically to dispute your current death sentence. “Always thought Jaebum’s pack were sons of bitches ━ glad to know it’s still true.”

“Hoseok,” Yoongi scolds. “Be a little more compassionate.”

“Am I wrong?” Hoseok refutes.

From off to the side, Jimin pushes himself forward with a frustrated groan, shaking his head. “Tae, I told you this was a dumb fucking idea ━ bringing Y/N into the pack━”

“I didn’t think this would happen,” Taehyung protests hotly. He’s leaning against the wall somewhere behind you, arms crossed over his chest and a deep frown darkening his face.

“How could you not think this would happen?” Jungkook retorts bitterly.

“Shut up, Jungkook.”

“She’s a human,” Jungkook says. “Jaebum wants her gone, but if he were to get his hands on her, then who knows what could happen━”

“I said shut up, Jungkook,” Taehyung snarls, an odd vehement tone dripping from his every word that is out of the place for the usually tranquil boy. Jungkook’s mouth clamps shut at once, though you suspect it’s not to do with defeat more so than because he’s the newest addition to the pack and, while Namjoon is their leader (or Alpha, as you’ve heard being thrown around before), Taehyung was something of a second-in-command. You could only imagine the consequences of crossing either Namjoon or Taehyung within the pack.

“Hold on a second,” You try to sputter for air, lungs wheezing. Your mind has since been spinning, struggling to keep up. At first you thought they were joking when they had told you, but now you were beginning to understand the severity at the very least. “I’m being hunted? Why?”

Now, Namjoon looks from Taehyung, then to you, and back again. Taehyung hesitates to answer at first, and Jungkook scowls. “Well, tell her, Tae. You dragged her into this mess. She deserves to hear it from you.”

As you twist in your seat to look up at Taehyung, your eyes locking briefly with his, the boy grimaces and then has to look away. He takes a deep breath before responding. “Okay, look. You know that pack I told you about? Jaebum’s?”

You nod, though the memory is vague. You’ve heard the name in passing before, but you could only gather that there was some sort of animosity between his and Taehyung’s pack.

“He found out about you, and I don’t know how,” Taehyung explains. “And now he wants you gone, and he’ll do anything to see it through.”

You blink once, dumbfounded. Terrified, even. Taehyung can certainly hear it in your voice and it makes him flinch again, as if being striked across the face. “Why?”

“Because you’re not one of us,” Taehyung says. “Because you’re human. When I first told you about us, I was risking everything. It’s uncommon for one of us to bring a human into the pack just because, and often even frowned upon. There’s a fear you’ll expose us to the human world or the hunters. Jaebum’s threatening to start war if we don’t deal with this situation ourselves.”

It’s only then that the dread begins to creep upon you, chilling you to the bone. “Deal with it… how?”

“The ultimatum is either kill you ourselves, or give you over to Jaebum to deal with, as a sort of peace offering,” Namjoon says carefully.

“Which probably also results in death,” Hoseok points out morbidly.

Jin scoffs. “Or worse.”

“Is there any option that doesn’t result in death?” You ask warily. At this, the group falls silent once more.

“Well, there is one.” Namjoon glances fleetingly around at his brethren, then sighs. “You become one of us.”

“I━” You stammer, face suddenly hot. “You mean, like, a werewolf?”

“I mean, a wedding.”

“A wedding?” You gasp. “How is that going to save me?”

“Not a wedding like you think,” Namjoon says. “More of a bonding. A handfasting. Right now, as a human, you’re vulnerable and exposed. We have no claim over you. But if you become one of us ━ without being turned ━ then Jaebum shouldn’t be able to touch you.”

Slowly, you begin to piece together the fragment of your dilemma. “Marry who?”

A beat of silence passes amongst the group in which time you spot Namjoon nod in the direction of Taehyung’s figure beyond you, a wordless yet clear gesture. Suddenly, a stubborn warmth of a blush pinches at your cheeks. You wonder if they can notice, if Taehyung can notice. You start, “Taehyung━?”

“He offered to be the one,” Namjoon says. “And Jaebum knows Taehyung’s role in the pack. If he knows you’re mated to Tae, Jaebum would be absolutely insane to try and come for you. It’s the only way, Y/N, and it ensures your safety.”

“Marrying Taehyung?” You ask shrilly, voice dangerously thin. “How is marrying Taehyung going to ensure my safety?”

“It’s not just a marriage,” Jimin explains.

But of course you already know this, werewolf laws a strange and intricate jumble of rules that you’ve long since grown accustomed to. When he speaks next, you already know it’s much more than a marriage; and, when he speaks next, you fear you’ve already had your fate decided for you.

“It’s not just a marriage,” Namjoon repeats, matter-of-fact, “because we’re making you Taehyung’s mate.”

“You didn’t have to do this.”

You try not to think about it. Admittedly, marrying your friend who you have only known for a year isn’t something you had been expecting. But, as Namjoon had explained it, it wasn’t necessarily a legal unification between you and Taehyung, though you suppose it’s as valid now as any marriage with the ritualistic handfasting ceremony making it official. That, and you favoured living to see another day instead of becoming a werewolf’s next meal or ripped to shreds by one.

Only a day after your conversation with the boys of Taehyung’s pack, you’ve come to your ultimate decision which has led you to where you are now, returning to Namjoon’s home for a wedding. Your wedding. You hadn’t very long to decide your own fate anyway, with the boys grimly warning you it was now or never. But you trust them, despite this crazed ludicrous situation you find yourself in ━ and you trust Taehyung more than anything, your friendship with him having quickly blossomed into something so sincerely profound over the year that you’ve known him.

If you’re being honest, Namjoon’s pack had at least made an effort for the occasion because despite how unconventional it is, it was still a celebration. A celebration for your marriage, and a celebration for their hopeful victory over Jaebum. Still, the underlying threat of the evening remains, made more prevalent by the fact that it was required to invite at least another pack (of which you’ve met the leader, Jisoo, a handful of times before) as witnesses. It’s a simple ceremony too, quaint and cute if you weren’t clinging to life. You had made it a point to dress up, digging a pretty white dress from the depths of your closet with flowing butterfly-like sleeves; Taehyung had forgone a suit but was still handsomely dressed too, leaving you to feel like less of an idiot. Namjoon had officiated it, standing before you and Taehyung as you held one another’s hand, wrapped delicately in ribbon, listening to the vows being proclaimed that talked about true love, and the passion and yearning involved.

When the handfasting finally draws to a close, you’re shoved into a room alone with Taehyung for a moment of privacy by Hoseok, who can be heard quipping wolfishly, “Get it over with quick!” before vanishing behind the closed door. You wager he’s left to join with the rest of the festivities outside where, no doubt, every werewolf is currently drinking themselves blind.

Finally alone with Taehyung, a saturated silence fills the air that has you wringing your hands anxiously in front of you. You sit on the edge of the bed in the center of the room. “What other choice was there, Tae?”

Taehyung takes a moment to respond, and even he knows the thought is a useless one when it crosses his mind before voicing it aloud. “We could have ran away.”

“How far would we get?” You sigh. Still, the sorrow earnest in his voice and riddling his face is enough to make you look up at him sympathetically. “I’m no use to you if Jaebum or someone worse finds us by ourselves. Besides, the boys need you.”

“No, you need me,” Taehyung insists. “Jungkook’s right. I dragged you and the pack into this mess. It’s my responsibility to fix this.”

He drags his feet towards the bed, then flops down onto his back on the mattress. A troubled groan punctuates the air, and you sneak a glance behind you to see him rubbing warily at his eyes.

You decide now would be the best time to ask the one question that has been on your mind since the night before when you were sitting in Namjoon’s kitchen to discuss Jaebum’s scorn. “Is that why… Is that why you offered to be my mate?”

“Yes,” Taehyung admits meekly. “Sort of. Think we’d all rather it be me than Joon, anyway.”

You don’t argue with this. The reasons as to why it had to be Taehyung satisfied you well enough. That, and aside from having befriended the pack over the months, you’re much closer to Taehyung than you are with the others.

“So…” You trail off, clearing your throat. At this point, you’re simply speaking for the sake of filling the void. “What now?”

Taehyung shrugs. He looks around the room. “Nothing.”

“Well, what did Hoseok mean just now? Get what over with?”

“Erm━” Taehyung opens his mouth, as if preparing to explain, then decides otherwise. “It’s nothing.”

“Taehyung, we literally just got married and you’re already keeping secrets from me,” You retort. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he insists. “It’s just that… Well…” He sits up from the bed, meeting your curious gaze. “This was essentially a mating, and every mating needs to be seen through to the end to be considered valid. The pack can tell when it’s… uh… done.”

Oh.

Now it hits you. It’s the way he awkwardly trails off, hand ruffling through his long locks, that has you immediately understanding what he’s trying to imply. You gawk upward at him. “Are you asking me to sleep with you?”

Suddenly, Taehyung looks flustered and he shakes his head frantically. “I mean, they expect it, but I would never force it on you.” Then, he straightens up, as if captivated by a newfound confidence. The smallest of smirks dances upon his lips that you don’t miss. “Besides, I never said it had to be between you and me. As long as they can sense it, I’d say your hand would do just fine instead ━ but you have all night for that.”

“Oh my god.”

The smirk widens into a devious look now. “You said you wanted honesty.”

As he dissolves into a fit of stifled chuckles, you scowl but you wager it’s mostly an attempt to hide the frazzled look on your face. Then, hurrying to change the topic, ask, “Is every mating like that then?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung admits. “If two mates want to stay together forever, they complete the process with marking, usually by a bite. It strengthens the mating bond.”

Taehyung notices you squirm in your spot, crossing your knee over the other and squeezing your thighs together. He can sense you’re uncomfortable, understandably with your current situation, but can’t quite pinpoint what else seems to make you sit so rigidly.

“What was it like for you?” He decides to ask. “The handfasting?”

The question takes you by surprise, though his sincere intrigue makes you smile smally to yourself. “I’ve never experienced anything like that before, but it was… It was nice.” You think back to nearly an hour ago, and the way Taehyung had looked standing before you. While you were marrying him out of necessity, there was something candidly beautiful about the entire ceremony. At the very least, you were glad it had been with Taehyung of all people. “Can I be honest with you, Tae?”

“Of course,” Taehyung says. “At this point, you can pretty much tell me anything. Don’t think anything’s as shocking as coming out as a werewolf.”

An innocent giggle bubbles at your throat. Suddenly, you look sheepish. “I might have had one too many glasses of wine before coming.”

“Ah.” Despite the interested hum of noise, he looks genuinely entertained. “So you’re drunk?”

“Not quite. Pleasantly buzzed,” You say. “Well, can you blame me? The occasion called for it considering a bunch of wolves want to kill me and I’m being arranged into a marriage.”

“So you don’t remember anything about your own wedding?”

You pull a face, though Taehyung gathers it’s because of the blunt mention of the word. “I do. Just… not all of it. Some things are clearer than others, but I think that’s mostly because I was nervous.”

“I remember every moment,” Taehyung muses thoughtfully. “I remember seeing you there, in your dress, and everything felt right despite it all.” His stare hardens in that moment, as if probed by the harsh reminder of the reasoning behind the night in the first place. “You know I’ll do anything to keep you safe, right? We haven’t had time to sit back and talk it over but you really do mean the world to me.”

A muffled groan eclipses your lips. You dig the heels of your palms against your eyes as you bemoan, “Don’t say those kinds of things, Tae.”

“Why?”

“Because… Because…” Your eyes shoot open, though suddenly you refuse to meet his curious wandering gaze.

But Taehyung doesn’t even need you to finish your thought. You wonder if it’s one of the many keen abilities possessed by these shapeshifters or if it’s simply a Taehyung thing, being that he’s quickly become one of your closest friends over the year that you’ve known him.

“You’re still nervous,” he hums as delicately as possible. It’s not an accusation, but a simple fact of the matter. He pushes himself to sit on the edge of the bed beside you, leaving an appropriate amount of space between the two of you. “Are you nervous because of me?”

“No.”

“That’s a lie,” Taehyung snorts. When you don’t respond immediately, a small inkling of a doubt makes him question apprehensively, “Are you scared of me then? I wouldn’t blame you, especially after everything that’s been going on━”

“What?” You finally turn to look at him, a look of incredulousness contorting your face. “No! No, I’m not scared of you, Tae. I could never be scared of you.” You don’t dare turn to face him, instead keeping your eyes fixed on your hands as you continue. “You make me nervous, but not in a bad way. Does that make any sense?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it does.” When you chance a look at him, you find him smiling softly to himself. “It’s the same way I felt when I saw you earlier tonight.”

Your heart quickens in pace against your chest, and you’re almost positive he can surely hear it. Now, you finally lift your timid stare to meet his pensive look, and you have to bite back the smile that threatens to form on your face. He looks distracted, though not in a way where his mind is elsewhere entirely; instead, he seems besotted, dark eyes shimmering gently, and there’s a palpable shift of energy in the atmosphere.

Without even realizing it, the pair of you begin to gravitate towards one another, leaning in close enough to shorten the distance between the two of you. You pause, lingering near enough to feel his warm breath fanning against your neck. He can’t help himself, and reaches out with his hand to brush his fingers along your shoulder to the base of your throat, sending chills down your spine. His hand comes to rest against your neck, fingers stretching outward to cradle the back of your head. He guides you toward him this time, closer and closer.

“Taehyung…” You whisper.

He stops at once, clamps his mouth shut and squeezes his eyes closed. His restraint seems to be not without labour, judging by the sobering small shake of his head, and the way he leans his forehead against yours, tendons in his jaw fluttering as he clenches his teeth. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t.”

“I want you to.”

He’s startled when you’re the one that moves first, catching his lips onto yours. He’s unmoving at first, basking in the feel and taste of your mouth smoothing over his. It’s slow, steady, but then he’s craning his neck to deepen the kiss and something feverish overtakes the both of you. You clamber onto his lap at once, swinging one leg over his and settling back onto him, your dress bunching up at your thighs. He’s taken aback for a moment, though his hands instinctively come to grip at your waist and you try not to focus on how large and warm they feel, burning against the material of your dress. In fact, every inch of him radiates a thermal energy that is both comforting and excites you. You chase his lips, yearning for another kiss, but he hesitates at the last moment, jerking his head away. He doesn’t move very far at first, then he drops his head into the crook of your neck. His nose burrows against the base of your throat, his lips brushing against your skin as he moves along your neck to your shoulder, then back again. You can tell he’s holding himself back, not quite allowing himself to enjoy this. To enjoy you.

“You said we have all night, didn’t you?” You rasp. “So why not start now?”

“I also said it didn’t have to be between you and me if you didn’t want it to be.” Taehyung finds his voice at long last, however hoarse it may be. You’re already driving him crazy, just by your smell alone. “Are you sure? You said you wanted honesty, so be honest with me, Y/N. Don’t just say it’s because it has to be done. I don’t want you to regret anything.”

“Well, don’t you want this?” You question.

“Fuck, yes.” He groans against your neck. Something feral seems to stir within him, and you can feel his canines bare against your skin. “But only if you do.”

You aren’t quite sure what seems to possess you all of a sudden. He’s intoxicating, you think. Your hands tug at his hair now, desperation wearing your own voice thin. “Yes, Tae. Please. I want you inside me so badly.”

Finally, he presses his mouth against your throat, tonguing hot open-mouthed kisses there. His grip tightens around your waist, tugging you harder against him, and the feeling of him growing harder against your inner thigh in a matter of seconds has you both enraptured by a newfound heated ferocity.

Grasping at a moment of clarity, you ask meekly, “Isn’t this your first time?”

“Is it that obvious?”

You want to tell him anything but, the way his hands and lips move across you an indicator of that. “I thought you wolves are all about sex. Don’t you, like, go into heat or something?”

It’s a feeble attempt at a snarky joke, judging by the way your lips unfurl into a languid smirk. “Typically. But I never wanted sex for the sake of fucking. The boys make fun of me all the time for it.”

You snicker, but the delightful noise is lost in a simper as he continues to kiss upward to the underside of your jaw. He grips tightly at your waist and moves, shifting the two of you around, until your back is splayed out on the edge of the bed and he’s hovering directly over you.

“Taehyung…” He grunts in response, though you don’t blame him for not responding. The way his cock bulges against your core now, the way you press your hips up into his instinctively, is enough to drive you insane, let alone the boy. Still, you manage to rasp, “Tae, just don’t bite me. Promise me.”

“I won’t,” he assures, though now he certainly seems preoccupied. He inhales deeply, nostrils flaring, and whines aloud, “God, I can already smell you. So fucking good.”

His head falls into the crook of your neck as his hips dig harshly into yours in a way that makes you aware of what his words seem to mean. Slick arousal already begins to form between your legs, pooling into a mess on your underwear that has you squirming beneath him. The thought of him being able to smell you makes your face heat, but he doesn’t seem to notice. He kisses down to your collarbones, then, without warning, flips you over at once. Rough hands grasp at your waist, pulling you to your knees and your ass off the edge of the bed. As he fumbles to tear your panties from your hips, then lifts the skirt of your dress up with one hand, he hurries to undo his belt and the button of his pants with the other.

“Wait, Tae━” You gasp. Before he can push himself into you, you heave yourself up with your hands and twist just enough to place your palm above his waist on his abdomen, stopping him in his place. “What are you doing?”

“What’s wrong?” he asks, brows creasing with concern. “Isn’t this how it’s done? I’m not totally helpless.”

You bite back your abrupt grin, swallowing your amusement when you realize he’s genuinely confused. It’s hard to grasp how he can look so innocent even despite his leaking cock still in his hand. “Well, yeah, but not always.”

“I just thought it was like how dogs go at it, y’know?” Taehyung says. “The guys all seem to say so anyway.”

You can’t help it now when this newfound information has you keeling over with laughter. You’re fortunate he doesn’t seem offended by your delight, instead grinning sheepishly to himself as he watches you wipe tears away from your eyes.

“What?” he asks promptly, and then as if to nudge you back to reality, tightens his grip on your waist and yanks you towards him gingerly. Pressing his front flush against your back, he catches your ear lobe between his teeth and nibbles on it.

“Then I feel sorry for their mates,” You manage to choke out. “It’s not bad, but I want to be able to see you the first time around. It’s better that way. More intimate.”

You squirm out from beneath him, turning to face him properly. Still sprawled out before him, you prop yourself up on your elbow and then reach out with your other hand to grab at his face and pull him down to you.

“Noted,” he hums into your mouth. “Anything else I should know?”

“Nothing that I can think of at the moment,” You admit, though maybe that’s simply because your mind is spinning at the sight of his length.

He’s much, much bigger than you imagined, tip irritated and swollen red already, glistening with precum as he swipes his palm over himself a handful of times. You hike your dress up further around your waist as he guides himself towards you.

“Stop me if it hurts,” he says.

You nod, though you trust him well enough to know he’ll treat you right in the best way possible. As he pushes the tip of his length against your folds and into you, your reactions are almost immediate. He ceases above you, face scrunching up at the feeling of your slickness around him. You notice his furrowed brows, the way he bares his teeth. A guttural growl sounds deep within his chest that has you shuddering in anticipation.

“Oh, fuck,” he moans. “You’re so fucking wet. You take me so well, baby. I don’t think I’ll last long.”

“Don’t care,” You whimper. “Just wanna feel you.”

He pushes himself in further, slowly and carefully, inch-by-inch, in just a way that has the both of you feeling how he stretches you open every single step of the way. You wonder how much further you can go until he’s stopping, bottoming out within you. He sputters for air, collapsing against your chest entirely as you fall back onto the bed. He waits just enough for you to adjust to the girth of his weight in you, then rolls his hips into yours. Then again, and again, until he’s grinding into you with such measured and deep strokes that you melt beneath him entirely. You kick your legs up to wrap around his waist, head lolling back at the feeling of his mouth sucking against your throat.

“I’m gonna━” His voice splinters off then into an abrupt cry. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum━”

He’s quick to dissolve into shambles, grunting and moaning every time you clench around him and every thrust of his hips. Just when you think you’ve lost yourself to the moment, he cums much faster than you thought and entirely unexpected for him too, in hot waves that have you still writhing beneath him. When he’s spent, his weight falls slack against you, crushing you beneath him but in a comforting manner. It’s silently peaceful for a few moments as he settles, heart thundering in his chest and against yours. Your fingers smooth over his sweaty long locks, scratching at his head. Then━

“That was terrible, wasn’t it?” he mutters wretchedly.

“Not terrible,” You confess. “What was that? Three minutes, top? For your first time, I’m honestly surprised you lasted more than a minute.”

“Fuck off.” His fingers poke at your sides teasingly as you burst out into laughter. He lifts his head to meet yours, perhaps a little embarrassed. “Don’t tell the guys. They’ll never let me live it down.”

“Doesn’t matter,” You hum, tracing your finger down to his lips. “We can practice whenever you want. I’ll make you into a lover so good, you’ll want me to brag to them.”

“Practice, huh?” His eyes sparkle mischievously. He pulls himself from your core and you hiss at the sudden loss, tugging at his chest as if to keep him close to you but he seems to have other plans. “Why stop now?”

You watch him curiously. “Easy there, boy. Don’t wear yourself out.”

“Well, I have to make it up to you,” he points out. “Especially on your wedding night. It’s only fair. What kind of lousy mate would I be to call it a night without having you cum on my face?”

“Romantic.” You roll your eyes but you marvel at the way you had shuddered at the word only moments ago and now, under such a different circumstance, the way he utters it makes your heart flutter in your chest. “Is this the first time you’ve eaten a girl out?”

“I said I was a virgin,” he says. Your eyes stay trained on the boy as he shifts himself further down your body to wedge himself between your thighs, throwing one leg over his shoulder. He kisses at your navel, then down to your core. He takes his time as he reaches out with his fingers to swipe at your folds, admiring the way his cum leaks from you; then, with his forefinger, he wipes at a stray bead of his arousal and pushes it back into your cunt slowly. The simple action is enough to have your back arching off the bed, hands flying out to brace yourself by gripping at his hair. “I never said I didn’t know how to please a woman elsewhere.”

“Enlighten me.”

“Gladly.”

He sinks lower to your core and out of sight, leaving hot open mouthed kisses along the way. His finger never once leaves its spot within you, and instead is joined by another that spreads you wide in absence of his cock.

“Do you know how hard it is to focus on anything other than your beautiful cunt?” he asks, voice low and sultry. “From the moment I could smell you, I wanted a taste.”

His tongue probes against your clit, the wet muscle a sudden startle that has you slackening against him. He flicks it back and forth, mouth wrapping around the bundle of nerves and sucking hard. A moan threatens to fall from your lips but an intrusive thought crossing your mind has you swallowing it with much difficulty.

“Can’t the boys hear us from down there?” You ask. You wonder how the celebration for your “wedding” has unfolded over the night without you or Taehyung there, or if they even notice your prolonged absence.

“No.” His voice is a deep mumble, rattling you from your core outward. “We learn how to tune out sounds nearby unless we really want to pay attention. The new ones struggle a bit, though.”

He curls his fingers inside you, stretching them upward. You pant, “Isn’t Jungkook still new?”

You can feel his smirk unfurling against you even before he pokes his head up to look at you with devious, hooded eyes. “Yeah, well, it’s a bit of a hazing process.”

You hardly have time to register the thought, though it doesn’t matter much. You’re far too overwhelmed by the way Taehyung is making you feel to even care. He drops his mouth from your clit to your folds, tongue swirling against your aching core. He laps at your cunt like a mangy dog as his fingers continue to work within you. The further he burrows into you, the harder his nose digs against your clit and sends you over the edge. You try to hold on just a little longer but your core is already achingly sensitive from when his length had made it home.

“Cum for me,” he murmurs. “Don’t hold back, baby. Let me taste you.”

Fingers twisting in his hair, he growls roughly against you, basking in the way you mewl and moan his name. Time seems to blur and, before you know it, you’ve reached your high. You’re embarrassingly wet, soaking his chin and nose which glistens with a mixture of yours and his arousal. Taehyung doesn’t hold back, instead licking you clean of every last drop, a muffled moan of content emitting from him.

“So good,” he says. “All mine.”

When he finally pulls away from you, he licks at his lips as if not quite finished with your every taste. From where he sits, you’re an entire mess, brows scrunched in concentration, teeth tugging at your lower lip. Needy hands yank at his hair and he obliges, kissing his way up your body to meet your mouth. His tongue pokes through to lav at your lips and wedges itself beyond, and you suck delightfully at the taste of you and him mingling on it. His own hands caress your body, bringing you back down from your high gradually but you can still feel his straining dick against your thigh and it invigorates you even further despite the beginning hints of exhaustion starting to creep upon you.

“Want more,” Taehyung growls with a newfound intensity, catching you off guard. “Need your cunt. M’gonna make it mine. Need to make you mine. Gonna fill you with my cum till you’re bursting with my pups, how does that sound?”

Mind spinning, you nod eagerly at the thought. Your words form in the shape of a moan. “Yes, please.”

“Gotta get this dress off first,” he mutters, greedy palms wandering up beneath the hem of your dress.

You scurry to obey, helping him slide the dress off your arms and toss it away on the floor. He’s more than pleased to see that you had decided to forgo wearing a bra earlier in the day, and reaches out at once to grasp at your perked breasts in his large palm. He buries his face into your chest, catching one of your nipples between his teeth. He busies himself by marking your chest red with small nibbles until you grow impatient, tugging at the shirt he’s still wearing. He’s quick to oblige, shedding himself of his clothes; then, his nails are digging viciously into your hips as he flips the two of you over with incredible ease.

“Sit on my cock,” he snarls into your ear. “Need to feel you again.”

Legs weak from your past orgasm and the huskiness of his voice, you sidle onto his lap, tossing one thigh over his. He sits up to join you and helps push himself past your folds, though you finish by settling back on his length carefully until you’re filled to the brim. Despite already knowing what to expect from the first time around, you still shudder at the feeling, mouth unhinging as you roll your hips leisurely against his. He hardly strays from your body, instead continuing to kiss between the valley of your breasts and up to the underside of your jaw and back again. Fingers poke and prod at your body as they follow his lips, then grasp at your ass to push you closer to him each time you grind against him.

Just when you begin grinding against him in a new angle that makes you moan into his ear, a sudden noise startles the both of you but only just. It takes you both a moment to register it’s the sound of knocking on the other side of the bedroom door (that you can’t remember if Taehyung had locked, because you certainly hadn’t), followed by Jimin’s familiar voice. “Joon said he wanted us to check in on you!”

Taehyung immediately groans into your neck out of frustration, though you suspect it’s because your pace starts to stutter and not because of his bothersome friends.

“Taehyung,” You bite at your lip in an attempt to hide your moans. You tug at his hair, as if to portray what your words fail to do, but he can hear it plainly riddling your voice. The concern, and the sudden shyness, as if fearing Jimin may walk in. But part of you is thrilled at the thought, and judging by the way your unabashed cry of glee slips from your lips without much hiding is proof of that. “Oh, Tae━”

“Shit,” Taehyung’s muffled grunts of pleasure and the way his hips continue to dig into yours to meet your efforts makes you aware Jimin is the least of his current troubles. “Fucking hell━ Don’t stop.”

“Are you guys okay in there?” Now comes Hoseok’s voice, a little faint but undeniably there. Can they hear you? Do they care? They must know what’s happening beyond the door.

“They’re doing it on purpose. Fucking idiots,” Taehyung snarls as he slams his hips up into yours. A contented whimper falls from your mouth, and you cling to him tighter as you quicken your pace. Taehyung grabs at your chin, forcing you to keep your eyes fixed on him despite wandering to the door. “Look at you fucking yourself on me still even with them listening. Such a good girl, huh? So desperate for my cock, aren’t you? Gonna breed so well.”

You think Hoseok and Jimin give up and leave at some point, though you don’t recall when. Instead, in the next moment, something primitive seems to awaken in Taehyung once more and he’s shoving you onto your back on the bed. Kneeling before you, he pummels his hips into yours again and again until you’re only crying his name.

“Mine. All mine,” he growls. “Wanna feel you cum on my cock.”

So wearied from your first high, you tumble easily to your second, coming undone in a matter of seconds, spurred on by the lewd wet noises of his length thrusting into you.

“That’s it, baby,” he mutters, basking in the sound of your moans. “Fuck━ Let them all know who you belong to━”

But just when you think Taehyung has reached his own orgasm ━ sputtering for air and crescendoing in moans of your names, panting hot breath into your ear as he leans against your chest ━ he doesn’t. His thrusts become desperate and sloppy, bordering on frantic, that the soreness between your legs begins to burn. It’s an amalgamation of stubborn yet bearable pain and something harshly pleasant that has your head lolling back.

“What’s wrong?” You moan, blindly tugging at his hair. “Taehyung?”

“I can’t━” He cries out. “I can’t━ I’m so fucking hard, it hurts. I don’t know what’s wrong━”

Confused yet too tired to keep up, you reach out to smooth your fingers across his back. “It’s okay. Just let go, baby. Cum for me, Tae. Please.”

“I’m trying,” he chokes out. “I just can’t━”

Your mind works in a haze to understand what’s happening, but through it all you’re able to discern one reasonable thought. What had Taehyung said about matings and bonds? Aside from the obvious of sleeping with a mate, he had said that typically certain bonds require marking. But he had also said that marking proved to be almost irreversible, resulting in a connection so close that a pair of mates would be together forever. It was a troublesome concept to think about, especially when considering you didn’t think you were a fit match for Taehyung if only because you’re human.

But is that what he needed? The physical strain he puts himself under now to reach his high is almost unbearable to watch. So, you settle on a whim of a decision and conclude that you won’t think of any consequences until after the fact, only wanting to see the poor boy in relief.

“Tae,” You whisper. “What if you bite me?”

“I won’t,” Taehyung says through gritted teeth. His pace has slowed as he slumps against your chest in nearing defeat. “You told me not to.”

“I don’t care,” You retort. “Just bite me.”

He hesitates, lifting his gaze to look at you. When he sees your earnest zeal, he grimaces as if despising that this is his only option. Still, the look of relief that crosses his face is undeniably there. He presses his mouth against your throat, lips brushing faintly against your flesh as he grazes the smooth expanse for a spot, sharp canines poking against you. You brace yourself for the bite, though the pain isn’t as bad as you had thought. A sharp jolt runs down your spine as he sinks his teeth into your skin, and his reaction is immediate, crumbling into pitiful moans of glory.

“Fuck!” he wails. With one final slam of his hips into yours, he finally reaches his high and it’s unlike anything you have felt before. As if he begins to swell within you, his length pulsates as he cums in you to the point where you can’t help but feel so full. It overflows and leaks from your core and onto the sheets, a sticky mess that lingers even long after he’s done. Your mouth pops open at the foreign feeling, whimpering his name.

“I’m sorry,” he flinches. “I’m sorry, does it hurt?”

“No,” You manage to say. “It just… It feels so good━”

He sluggishly rides out the rest of his high until you both physically can’t take anymore. When he hears you hiss his name in a soft reminder, he apologizes once more. Then, as the room falls oddly silent, he slumps against you. He lavs his tongue over the fresh mark on your neck, the gentle motion alleviating the sting left behind. As Taehyung settles finally, he shifts his head to look up at you. You note the faint yellow hue lingering in his eyes, fading now.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “We might have to stay like this for a while.”

“Can’t say I’m mad about that,” You croon sleepily. “You better draw me a bath after this.”

He laughs, rubbing gentle circles against your hips. “Of course. I’ll do anything for you.”

You believe him wholeheartedly when he says it, smiling against his mouth when he leans in for a kiss. His tender wandering hands over your body does wonders in calming your shrill heart, the stretch between your legs, and the bite on your neck. He nuzzles his face into your collarbones, the tip of his nose tickling against you. As your fingers rake through his hair and scratch at his head, he mewls in content.

“Is it always like that?” You ask through a stifled yawn. “You had so much energy, I could barely keep up.”

“No,” he admits groggily. “It’s only like that when you’re mated with someone.”

“What does that even mean anyway?” You ask. “To be mated with someone?”

“Well, it’s━ It’s not really a conscious decision. It sort of just happens,” Taehyung says. “It’s a connection. You gravitate towards one another. You can’t live without the other. We call it imprinting. Sometimes you’re mated to a person who doesn’t even want you, but those are rare instances.”

“So we’re the exception?”

“I thought we were,” Taehyung trails off now. He finally lifts his head to look at you, perhaps a little embarrassed. “I━ Well━ All of this, and especially the bite, doesn’t just happen ━ and definitely not with humans.”

“Oh.” You blush now, face warming under the boy’s introspective stare. “So you’re saying we’re…”

“I always thought there was a connection, but I didn’t think it meant this,” Taehyung murmurs to himself. “As crazy as it sounds, I think we were meant to be.”

“So the bite…”

You don’t finish your thought, instead already having pieced it together in your mind. It does sound crazy, but even you have felt it before. A strange connection to Taehyung, far more exceptional than simply having feelings for him. And the bite is what draws it all together, proving his point and your previous speculations about some sort of affection between the two of you.

“Are you starting to regret this now?” Taehyung asks sheepishly, a weak attempt at a joke to what he had asked you earlier in the night.

He braces himself, as if waiting for your outburst of annoyance or anger. To push him off of you and leave forever. But you do neither, instead reaching out to grasp at his face in both of your hands. You delicately lift his head, meeting his docile stare, entirely and utterly bewitched by him.

“No,” You say earnestly. “I couldn’t have asked for a better night.” A smile forms on his face, innocent and ardent in nature. “I’m just wondering how I’ll hide the mark.”

“I think there’s little to hide now after tonight,” Taehyung grins wolfishly. “Especially with the boys.”

He quivers with laughter at the sight of your scowling face and fingers poking at his sides. As he settles, he leans into your ear to hum, “I’ll make it up to you. Everything. Jaebum, the bite, the boys. But I think you should rest now. We’ll deal with all of that later.”

You don’t argue with that. You’ve already begun to fight the beginnings of sleep, eyelids drooping and itching with a need to just close them ━ and with Taehyung’s arms wrapped around you, his body emitting a pleasurable heat, you decide there’s no place else you’d rather be, moonstruck and in love.

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luciehercndale · 4 years

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Alastair Carstairs and Charles Fairchild: Uneven Love

In this essay I will try to be as brief as I can about what it meant to be part of the LGBTQ+ community at the beginning of the XX century and a few points on why Charles and Alastair were an uneven/unbalanced couple. Have a nice read!

Being gay in Victorian/Edwardian London

Legality of Charlastair’s relationship

Uneven relationship

Before I start delving into this topic, I just wanted to tell you a few things about what it meant being part of the LGBTQ+ community at the beginning of the XX century. I will briefly tell you about Great Britain specifically because the story is set in London, but you have to understand each country has its movements of emancipation and its laws, so there are a few things which may differ. I will also just mention about homosexual relationships at this time.

Being a gay man in London at the beginning of XX century wasn’t easy, because if two men were caught together in compromising positions, they could be arrested and detained and accused of buggery or attempted buggery. There was a law passed in 1885 which condemned public indecency between males, and such law won’t be abolished until the 60’s of the XX century. The only places gay men were allowed to be themselves were the Molly Houses. Those places were like modern taverns, pubs, coffeehouses where they could meet and engage in sexual activities with other gay men. Speaking of Charles and Alastair, I do wonder if they met in such a place, although since the former is so obsessed with keeping the appearances, maybe not. Or maybe he went in secret, but let’s not forget that in 1902 Alastair was 17.

Why is Charles so obsessed with his image?

For one, homosexuality was the opposite of the idea of “manliness” in Victorian/Edwardian age. During this period, what counted the most to British people was their image, how they appeared in public, and being gay was considered as a deviant act, an immortal act which was the evidence of a corrupt morality. A Victorian family had to be presentable, impeccable - the public sphere had to be pristine even if the private sphere was not. Charles Fairchild is a man of the public sphere because he’s sort of a politician’s figure who was born during the highest point Victorian mentality. It’s no wonder he is concerned with how others perceive him, and he sees his sexuality as a threat to his preferred career, which is all about “manliness”. Remember before Charlotte became Consul? Even there we saw the sexism of the Inquisitor and other members solely because Charlotte was not a man, hence, she couldn’t be “manly”. Charles would be regarded the same way, this is why he decided not to be openly gay. But mark my words, sooner or later he will because that is an inner conflict he has which is at war with his outer goal.

I’ve seen people say that one of the first reasons why Alastair and Charles’ relationship was not appropriate is because Alastair was 16 and Charles was 22. Of course I agree. I wanted to check whether it was legal or not in the XX century, and I discovered that after the Criminal Law Amendment Act passed in 1885, the age of consent was 16, which meant that as much as I find it repulsing, Alastair and Charles could have a relationship and they wouldn’t be breaking the law except for the not so little detail that they were homosexual. Like I said above, homosexuals could risk a prison sentence.

I want to tell you more about this topic but I don’t want to derail from the purpose of this essay.

First and foremost, from the interactions we had of them, you could tell Charles seemed to have promised things to Alastair, because when they speak in Chapter 11 of CoG, the latter is pained and all of his hopes are destroyed. “But you said - I thought” that is what Alastair says. That is the realization that he believed in Charles and what they shared in Paris. Charles says he doesn’t make “false promises”, which means that he may have already thought that their relationship could not be more than what it was - a secret affair. Secret because the act was illegal at the time, and affair because it’s clear Charles might have used Alastair’s affection to fuel his own ego.

I’m convinced that Charles may have an inferiority complex. His mother Charlotte is Consul, the first female Consul. I believe he admires her because despite being a woman, she could get this post because she is also very able with her job. Charlotte is someone Charles looks up to and wants to emulate, but as we see through CoG, Charles’ regent job is laughable. He slanders James, he seems to side with Tatiana whenever he is concerned without having evidence (you see, Tatiana may have manipulated Charles into doing what she wants). This is not what a promising Consul does, and Charles probably knows it.

Then why Alastair?

Why, you say? For one, Alastair also likes politics. I hope he likes politics because he wasn’t influenced by Charles, but I’m convinced that is what Charles and Alastair bonded on; politics. I could see Alastair also getting into politics, by the way, but this is a chat for another time.

Alastair, 17 year old Alastair, felt confident of baring his soul to Charles when they started getting acquainted. He was also very young, I think Charles was the first person that he recognized also loved men like he did. He lived in an age were homosexuality was punished, the majority of gay men tried to hide their sexuality not to be deemed immoral and deviant. I think Alastair was ecstatic that he had found someone he could like and who could like him back, and this is why he decided to be with Charles. We don’t know when this relationship started, but probably after 1899 and the Academy. Maybe Paris in 1902 was the first encounter they had because they couldn’t see each other all the time, maybe they had been together longer… I don’t know. I hate that we don’t know the exact timeline, but we may get it in the future.

I was saying. In Chapter 11 of CoG when Charles goes to Alastair’s house, he reveals that he loves him. “I have loved you since Paris,” Alastair says, which, like I said above, makes it impossible to define if they just had Paris and Alastair fell for him from that only moment of connection (because they might have had sexual interactions there, maybe Alastair lost his virginity to Charles - these are just my assumptions, I have no idea if I’m right).

The Paris affair also makes me think about: “We’ll always have Paris”, which is a famous line from Casablanca. What does it mean? The only thing the protagonists of that movie can hold onto is Paris, since WWII broke and they can only have the memory of what happened in Paris because they can’t be together/won’t be reunited. Rings a bell?

Before I also add how prophetic it was for Alastair to find Thomas in Paris at the same moment he was waiting to spend time with Charles - because it was indeed a coincidence, but also how tricky fate is. Alastair was probably already attracted to Thomas in Paris, but he was loyal to Charles, otherwise… but this is also a chat for another essay.

Then Alastair and Charles kiss. The way Charles treats Alastair is very controlling: he doesn’t just reply “You know I do” when A tells him he loves him, he leads the moment and draws Alastair towards him for a kiss. Then they end up on the sofa, Charles on top and Alastair under him - which isn’t very casual, is also a way for Charles to control everything, because he knows fine well Alastair loves him and he’s indulging into the moment because he doesn’t dislike A, but he also doesn’t love him. Alastair gives Charles the validation he isn’t getting in his political sphere. (See a few paragraphs above).

Sex is also a way to exert power. We don’t know Alastair’s and Charles’s private lives in detail, but from the ways this scene is written, I can tell Alastair is the type who bares himself for the one he loves. Now that his heart was broken I don’t know what to expect.

Then they stop. Alastair is in pain because he longed for Charles. Of all the things he could ask Charles, what does he ask?

“What is wrong, Charles?” he said, his voice husky and rough. “If this is not what you came for, then why are you here?”

I mean, what? Do you know the heaviness of this sentence? It means that most of Alastair and Charles’ interactions as a couple might have been lead by sex or by making out. Why do I think this? Because otherwise Alastair wouldn’t say that - he’s basically implying that most of the occurrences between them started because of something sexual…

“IF THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU CAME FOR…”

It makes me so mad. So mad. Because it is clear to me that after the Academy, Alastair was devastated and also regretful of his actions towards the other guys. He also had to take care of his family. He also points out how he managed his household when his father was “sick”, how Alastair has been a brother and a father and the head of the Carstairs family for longer than we can imagine. I understand why meeting Charles could have changed his life, but Alastair is a giver, he gives a lot to those he cares about, meanwhile Charles is a seeker, he also wants to feel loved but he can’t exchange the affection the same way.

We can consider Charles and Alastair’s relationship dead and gone, anyway. Not only because Alastair said he was done and understood that Charles just wanted to matter (his words, not mine) and that he only cares about his career. In the scene I mentioned above, we also know that the reason why Charles came to Alastair’s was to inform him that Barbara Lightwood had died. Metaphorically speaking, her death could also signify the death of Charlastair and the moment in which Thomastair’s door was truly open to explore.

Now to conclude my thoughts - which I hope weren’t too jumbled - I’ll just say that as much as he unnerves me, I do think Charles could have a nice arc if played well. But, my dears, without Alastair. This is for sure.

Footnote: If you want to know more this, especially concerning gender, you can read What is Gender History? By Sonya O. Rose which treats different topics.

#alastair carstairs #charles fairchild #thomas lightwood #the last hours #gender history #chain of gold #chain of iron #chain of thorns #charles and alastair #thomastair #alastair and thomas #tlh #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #tales from the shadowhunter academy #my edits

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detroitbydark · 4 years

Text

Chapter 9

Characters: Commander Fox/Reader

Warning: None

A/N: I’m breaking this and the next part into two seperate pieces to keep them at a comfortable readable length. Strap into your seats babes it’s about to get bumpy.

“For the love of Fett-“ Fox shoves the datapad away in a fit of disgust. Three others sit nearby. He was missing something and he was starting to wonder if it wasn’t his mind.

There was a piece he just didn’t have. Rex hadn’t been able to provide it, only given him more questions.

It’s well past the end of his work day but Fox can’t let it rest. He drags a holopad back. This one contains footage, surveillance of the ARC trooper from before everything had come to a head. There had to be something he was meeting, someone somewhere in the background. A hint of anything to go off of.

But there wasn’t. He’d watched the same blurry, looped feed six times already and nothing new presented itself.

That was the definition of madness wasn’t it? Doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results.

“Fox?” Mouse’s voice cuts through the noise on his head. “It’s getting late. Let it be for the day.”

He raises a brow at the order. Not her usual gentle question. He’s not feeling playful or amorous and she seems to mirror it in the way she stands across the room, her distance from him speaking volumes and making his stomach clench uncomfortably. He’d give anything right now just to lose himself in the soft plains of her body, let the sounds of their passion drown out the voices inside his head that said he was failing.

“Can’t.” He gruffs, pulling another datapad over and flipping through the screen. redacted black lines take up the entirety of it and any attempt to bypass is left with a flashing red ‘access denied’. He snarls lowly.

“Alverde?” the term throws him off. His Little Mouse didn’t speak any Mando’a. She offers a tiny smile to his bewildered expression.

“Wren taught me a few things.”

His stomach clenches again, sour and dispeptic. Had they talked about what he’d said in the heat of the moment? He couldn’t explain himself now. Couldn’t have the conversation if she wanted too. There was too much he needed to-

Mouse’s hand softly cradles his cheek. He flinches away. He hadn’t realized she’d moved so close. Maybe he was too tied up in his own thoughts. The look on her face is hurt. It’s the only way to describe it, like he hadn’t pulled away but in reality had slapped her.

He grabs for her hand quickly, grip tight at her wrist. He presses a firm kiss to the back of her hand and then more along her knuckles until he feels the muscles in her arm begin to relax. Mouse sighs tiredly. Yeah, he could understand that. She moves to perch on the edge of the desk.

“It’s been a long day but I need to figure this out.” He tries to explain.

“Is this about Captain Rex?” The 501st Officer had not left a good impression on Mouse if her eyes glaring daggers at his backside as he’d left had told the story.

“This is about us all.” Fox corrects, saying aloud for the first time what was truly at stake or, at least, what he’d come to believe. “The Jedi, the clones, my brothers-“

Mouse sits, looking away from him and to the datapad.

“You shouldn’t be looking at these.” He says after a minute, though he doesn’t move to close anything out. Mouse raises a brow at him before getting up to pull the chair from the other side of the desk around next to him. He’d rather she be in his lap. Even next to him feels too far away. He can’t bring himself to act on it.

“Why are all these about the ARC trooper?” She questions, not validating his assessment with a response. She knew as well as he did that this was far beyond any clearance she had.

Fox’s jaw clenches. He needed to tell her to go. This wasn’t for her to see but he can’t because he's weak for her. Having her near may flare some nerves but her presence alone calms so many others.

“You're looking at this like Fives was the lynchpin in whatever plot you’ve got brewing.” She traces the image of the clone softly and Fox feels a flare of something ugly in the soft brush of her fingers against the datapad. “He was young, fresh from ARC training. Where would he find someone to conspire with?” She makes a point.

Maybe he’d been looking at this wrong, “so your saying, Fives wasn’t a conspirator, he just-“

“-got mixed up in it. Did the Captain say when they started noticing him acting strange?”

“After the clone Tup turned on his Jedi-“ Fox pauses for a minute. He’s already said too much so he decides, kriff it, and says it all “he was sick, they thought. Sent him to Kamino for- Rex said he wasn’t right after Tup died there.”

“But Fives didn’t think Tup was sick,” Mouse says quietly. Fox looks at her not for the first time and wishes he’d never laid a hand on her because now she was in this and he wanted her too kriffing to make her go. If this was high level stuff, something cooked up by higher military personnel than it was more dangerous than she’d ever know.

“Who do you think is responsible?”

Now that was the question of the hour. All the way to the top? Tarkin’s name comes to mind first and foremost. The man oozed hunger for power, latched onto any he could get and clung to it fiercely with thin skeletal fingers. Wulff Yularen was another probable candidate but he didn’t seem to stand out so much as Tarkin did. Maybe it was by design. Maybe Yularen has grown weary of being held at heel by the Jedi Order. Maybe he thought he could do better. It was a possibility but still it didn’t feel likely.

The Kaminoans had discouraged young clones from pacing, it was an inefficient use of metabolized energy and unnecessary for such high functioning merchandise. Fox found it to be the best way to think. The act of motion helped to center his thoughts, form them into something clear and concise instead of a tangled, jumbled mess. He rises to his feet and begins the short path back and forth across the office.

He needed access to the redacted files. His clearance- top secret- should have cleared all of that for him but it had barely scratched the surface of the files. They were utterly useless as they were now. He’d need them opened. If it was one of the admirals preparing for some sort of military coup he wouldn’t be able to go to them, while Yularen may comply with his request Tarkin thought too little of clones to agree even if he wasn’t implicitly involved. If they were working together any request would expose him to the full wrath they were capable of bringing down.

No. He needed to go higher. The Supreme Chancellor could get the files opened or at least find the one to order too. It was a matter of galactic security, even though Fox wasn’t a great fan of the Chancellor personally he trusted the man to do what was in the galaxies best interest. That was what he'd sworn an oath to do.

A warm hand slides over his. He startles. Again. He was too on edge for any of this. Mouse looks up with worried eyes.

“Fox-“

“I need you to go home.” He's brisk, erasing any tenderness from his voice. She does a good job of hiding the cringe at his words. He needed her to stop looking at him with those big, trusting eyes. Eyes that held all her faith in him. If she didn’t he wasn’t sure he’d have the strength to push her away again. Even now it hurt, felt like he was carving out a part of his heart with a dull vibroblade. He couldn’t drag her any further into this no matter how much he did- how much he did care for her.

He could not allow her to be in danger. If something happened to her… he just wouldn’t allow it to happen. Even if he had to be cold to do it. He’d make it up to her after the conspiracy had been laid to rest. When it was safe to have her at his side again. It physically hurts his head, his chest, and even down to the marrow of his bones to place what he wants (but now he’s more afraid that it’s moved on to a need) to the back burner for any reason.

“Mouse go home. Yours.” He clarifies before she can ask. “You can’t- I don’t need you here.” Fox is surprised he can lie so convincingly.

“Fox-“

“-No” his voice is sharp and Mouse flinches, he almost misses it as small as it is. All the same it’s like a punch to the gut. “Go home. I don’t want you here.” It’s amazing he’s able to get the words out. He’s never lied so completely in his entire decade of life. He feels like a hut’uun as Mouse turns away. She doesn’t fight him on it and he wants her too. He wants her to yell or rage. He wants her to fight to be with him.

His Mouse is smarter than that. She’s better than that. His cyar’ika knows him better than he knows himself he worries- he hopes- because the small sounds she’s making as she leaves the office sound like a broken heart.

——

It’s been a long time since you’ve been made to feel so small. You’d never handled rejection well. Your mother had been very cognizant of it and, after you’d lost her, the children’s home attendants had learned quickly. You’d always just been sensitive and any kind of harsh treatment made your mind push into shut down mode.

In a year working at Fox’s side he’d never so much as volleyed a cross word your way.

He hadn’t just then, your brain supplies helpfully.

That wasn’t how you felt. It was as if he’d slammed the door in your face. The sweetness he’d shown you over the last week was gone as if you’d only just come into his acquaintance. It kriffing hurt. That’s what it did. It hurt. Especially after your talk with Wren earlier in the day.

You wipe at your eyes as you take the elevator to the nearest speeder platform and wait for a taxi to loop around. A chill rises up from the lower levels and you shiver lightly. You think back to the previous night, the emotion that had bled through Fox’s words as he held you. The depth of what you’d felt when Wren had translated them earlier.

Forever.

That was the word that you let roll around in your head and your heart. But maybe that was just the heat of the moment falling from his lips? Of course you didn’t want forever.

This was too young, too new. Of course Fox didn’t mean it. Time away from one another would be good, breed perspective. You were drunk off the newness and the feeling of being wanted by such a strong individual. That was all. It was good to separate yourself from the situation. You needed to be alone so you could think clearly and reevaluate what you thought you knew.

By the time the door of the cab is popping open your brain has almost completely convinced your heart that it was in the wrong. Almost.

———-

Fox wakes at his desk, still on full armor with the exception of his helmet off to the side, at 0400. His back protests the first attempt to move into motion and he’s forced to stretch slowly before trying again. His vertebrae pop loudly in protest. He has to agree with them. Falling asleep draped over the duraplast was a rotten idea, certainly less inviting than other sleeping arrangements he’d made over the last week. He doesn’t allow himself to think of Mouse. Definitely, not the way she’d left him the night before.

There was too much riding on his time with the Supreme Chancellor today to allow anything to distract him. He needed more access, to reopen the case. To be given the freedom to investigate like he hadn’t had previously, like he hadn’t pushed for.

He makes his way down to the barracks, shucking his armor and blacks the second he’s clear of the door. The ‘fresher is his first stop. There’s barely an ounce of heat to the stream of water that pelts him. The cool blast wakes him faster than any cup of high-octane caf ever could. He’s efficient, clean and wrapped in a towel in no time flat like he’d been taught on Kamino.

Next, he runs a razor over his face. He doubted he’d be taking his bucket off but if it came to that, Chancellor Palpatine wouldn’t see anything other than the absolute pinnacle of military excellence. To complete the effect he takes the clippers, trimming the short hairs around his temple and back of his head back into regs. He pauses before he gets to the hair at his crown. It was getting longer, not yet floppy but more to the length than he’d traditionally allow.

Mouse had mentioned how she’d liked running her fingers through it as it had slowly grown over the last week. She liked the feel of it between her fingers and he couldn’t argue. He liked the feel of it between her fingers as well. He leaves it be and packs the razor and clippers away before retrieving clean blacks from his closet and fitting his armor back into place. He makes a point of shining the visor to a glossy mirror finish.

A yawn creeps past his lips and Fox takes a longing look at his bed but he knows if he lays back down now he’d be even worse for wear when he got up. No sleep was better than too much sleep as far as he was concerned. He had ways to fight the fatigue. Today was a day for caf and stims, maybe not in that order.

Like any good trooper, Fox kept half a dozen stims in a belt pocket for emergencies. On Coruscant they weren’t as likely to use them as the clones in off world war zones but they did get used from time to time. There was nearly no other feeling better than riding a stim high, comparable to a good night's sleep, three square meals, and a good hot shower. A single stim would make you feel ready to take on the world single-handedly. That’s what he needed today. He pops the little blue and red capsule dry, swallowing it down quick.

By the time he’s to the cafeteria Fox is already beginning to feel the effects of the stims in his system. He no longer has to focus to keep his feet from shuffling, his back feels straight and strong, and his focus is laser sharp. It doesn’t do much for the anxiety that’s been slowly eating at him since Rex showed up yesterday but it gives him the mental fortitude to pack every kriffing nerve and down, down, down burying it so deep below the surface that he can confidently pretend it doesn’t exist.

He downs a ration bar and a cup of caf without breaking his stride, the few clones already present and eating offer respectful greetings and Fox returns them with a quick nod. His vode. This is who he needed to get to the bottom of this for. He needed to keep them safe, make sure they had a future to work towards.

It's nearly 0630 by the time Fox is parking his speeder in the garage of the main senate complex. No matter what the time of day Coruscanti traffic, particularly around the Senate, was a nightmare. Not for the first time, Fox wonders what it might be like in another world, a place where the city isn’t a hodgepodge of thousands of levels dating back to who knew how many centuries past. What must it be like to see green pastures and vast waters, a place that was more scenic than scene?

His mind is firing on too many cylinders and he takes a moment and a deep breath to refocus. The stims are working their magic now and it was his job to focus it to precision, not let it run amok.

The clones at both security checkpoints entering into the building give him a thorough once over even as they recognize him as their Commander. He’s pleased. If they did this to him it meant they treated everyone entering the same, a possible threat until proven otherwise. The safety of the senators and their staff depended on his men.

His boots echo against the fine marble floor as he makes his way to the Supreme Chancellor’s offices. The turbo lift takes him to the top of the building and he encounters one last checkpoint before he’s able to enter. It’s nearly 0730.

Palpatine is busy at his desk when Fox enters. He waits at parade rest for a handful of minutes until the chancellor completes whatever task he’d been set on and looks up.

“Commander” he greets pleasantly, “your early. I wasn’t expecting you til at least the turn of the hour.”

“I can come back if I-“

Palpatine waves him off. “No, my young friend. Come closer. It will be nice to have the company before the business of the day begins.”

The informality makes Fox uncomfortable. He lowers himself into the seat he’s motioned too. “I’m afraid I do have some business for you this morning” Fox stares straight ahead, he’s glad he’s got his bucket on, even so, when the chancellor looks at him he feels as if the old man is looking through it.

“Well that is unfortunate but, part of the grand scheme of things I suppose. What is it? I did hope I’d hear more about the lady love I'd encouraged you to pursue our last meeting.”

The smile he gives makes Fox feel like squirming. His gaze is more assessing than friendly. Fox thinks of how precarious the situation is. His vode, the Jedi, Mouse.

“Any relationship would be wholly inappropriate given my standing within the GAR and the greater Republic, sir” it’s a deflective answer, neither admittance nor denial of what was going on. A brief flash of, what can only be annoyance, flashes across the chancellor’s face. Then it’s gone as if it had never existed.

“I’ve gathered new intel on the case of CT-5555.” That earns him a raised look, as the chancellor leans back in his seat.

“I see.”

Fox watches as the chancellor pushes up from his seat, he moves slowly. His weakness on display in the slight hitch in his gait, the way he holds a hand to the warm wood of his desk for a moment too long to maintain his balance. He moves to stand in front of the large transparisteel windows, turning his back to Fox as he looks out over Coruscant. “I was led to believe that all the pertinent information in that case had already been obtained. The case was closed last I was made aware.”

“And it still is” Fox leans forward in his seat, gloves planted against his knees, “some new information has come to light and, well, the case is so severely redacted I’m having trouble slotting it in or making any sense of it.”

“What kind of information?”

A dull throb, flares into existence at the base of Fox’s skull. Nothing as horrible as some of the headaches he’s endured previously but worrying all the same as the stims should have brought it to a screeching halt. He blinks once. Twice. It takes a moment to set his head straight.

“Captain Rex of the 501st-“

“Skywalker’s Captain?”

“Yes sir.” He hates the way the chancellor interrupts nearly as much as he hates the way his vode are spoken of as belonging to the Jedi. “Captain Rex has some insight into the clones behavior leading up to the incident. He says he filed a report but I’m unable to find any such thing in the case files.”

“The case is closed, my boy” the chancellor's tone has developed a chill. Fox wishes he could see his face but the old man doesn’t turn away from the window.

“You could have it opened. This is a matter of galactic importance.” Fox pushes, feeling desperation rising in his chest along with his heart rate but he can’t stop to think about that. He has to make the Chancellor understand. Now was not a time to hold back, “I believe there is a threat building within the GAR itself. A conspiracy to bring down the clone army and the Jedi.” The pressure in his head is increasing. It’s moving about, hopping from one point to another.

“The case is closed, Commander Fox.”

“Chancellor- I-“ he fights back a wave of nausea. The Chancellor’s voice is all around him. It’s in him, echoing off the insides of his skull.

“Commander Fox, you don’t want to look any further into this matter.”

Fox rises to his feet quickly. His head spins as he drags in a ragged breath. His lungs feel pressed tight as if they’d been placed in a vice, “I need to-“

“You do not need to continue to push this matter. The case is closed. You did a thorough review and found nothing.”

Fox cocks his head. The tension breaks with an awful clarity. The pressure eases, like the sky becoming clear after a late afternoon storm, “I did review the file. Nothing new was there.”

The Chancellor turns and offers him a grin. “You’re a good soldier, Commander Fox.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Now, tell me, how much assistance did your precious secretary offer for your research?”

#commander fox/reader #commander fox #cc 1010 #commander fox x reader #tcw

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sophisticated-creepy · 3 years

Text

Lola’s mind was swarming. Although one thought seamlessly bled into the next, there was a supreme lack of a single thread with which to follow, and completely lost in the void of her own mind, she hadn’t noticed she’d walked passed her destination, realizing halfway down the next block she had to double back to reach Curios and Oddities. She was stepping up to the main entrance as Modesta was walking out, holding the door open wide for a customer who had finished purchasing an order of candles and dreamcatchers, the lady’s arms draped in large shopping bags.

“Thanks again, and have a pleasant day,” Modesta told the satisfied shopper. “Lola! I thought I saw you walking by.”

“Hi, Modesta,” Lola chirped, perhaps a tad too sharply to even her own ears. “How was inventory?”

“Fine,” Modesta answered, her eyebrows knitting together in question. Lola’s energy was sporadic and fluctuating, sending out an unsettling vibe despite standing perfectly still in the middle of the sidewalk. Maybe that was the issue: Lola was merely standing. Lola didn’t “stand”, she fluttered, like an overly caffeinated butterfly. If Modesta did find her friend by chance to be in a state of rest, some other part of her was usually moving, whether it were her arms gesturing about grandly during some ostentatious storytelling, or her eyes dancing to absorb the scenery around her. Lola was like the wind, and rarely remained stagnant, so when she noticed the eerie calm in the way Lola remained motionless, staring at nothing, she was immediately on edge and completely creeped out.

“Look, I know Halloween is right around the corner, but you are really starting to freak me out, Lola. Do you need help or something?”

“Sorry,” Lola spoke. She then blinked, her shoulders slouching downwards naturally, shifting back into a more fluid realm of movement and mannerisms. “Sorry,” she repeated. “Yes, actually, I was wondering if you could help me. Are you busy, or can we talk for a moment?”

“I’m not too terribly busy, come on in. What’s on your mind? You were a total zombie on the sidewalk just now.” Lola was ushered into the warmth of the shop, the scent of vanilla and cookies instantly had her relaxing, feeling once more at peace and in control of her rampant thoughts and imagination.

“I’m processing a lot of information,” Lola began as she stepped into the sacred space. “Actually, I’m trying to get some research done on a new story for a writing contest I’m entering.”

Modesta gave a light laugh. “Oh! Another story, huh? That explains your zone-out. What’s your theme this time?”

“The Hobblin’ Goblin.”

“Of course it is,” Modesta laughed harder. “Why did I even bother to ask?”

“Anyway…,” Lola transitioned, giving her friend a look that clearly meant she herself was not amused. “I have a deadline in little over a week, so I need to get as much research done as possible before I can do any actual writing.”

“Do you really need to do research? I thought you knew all there was to your loveable Hobblin’ Goblin.”

“It’s rather quite shocking on how much I don’t know, except for the everyday basics: he’s a goblin, he hobbles, walks with a crutch, and plays pranks. I don’t know the real, tangible origins, so I’m looking for the deeper meaning. I’m looking for his story.”

“I’ve never thought about it from that angle before,” Modesta admitted. “It’s a unique way to portray the legend, that’s for sure.”

Aggrievedly, Lola leaned her hip against a tall table stacked with candles and heaved a sigh. “I want to get some personal testimonies of people experiencing a real run-in with Mr. Goblin as part of my research to get a truer feel of his hauntings, but I’m coming to realize it’s going to be near impossible to sort the differences between a Hobblin’ haunt and a regular haunt.”

“I can help with that!” Jack sprung up from behind the furniture piece Lola and Modesta were talking next to, his boisterous appearance scaring the living daylights out of the two women, having the whole shop of customers stare in their direction as they each let out a scream of fright.

“Jack!” Modesta scolded after catching her breath. “Have you been waiting behind that table this whole time to scare us?”

Laughing, Jack nodded. “I was. But, do you at least get my point?”

“What are you talking about?” Lola asked, still trying to get her racing heartbeat under control.

“I heard you talking about the Hobblin’ Goblin. He pulls pranks, just like me, and like any other prankster, his jokes are mainly for his enjoyment,” Jack informed. “You can’t rely on the typical moans and groans and rattling of chains. You need to look for the fun.”

Lola snapped her fingers in confirmation. “That’s exactly what I said to Stacy. I’m looking for what makes the Hobblin’ Goblin so special, and I believe it lies in the fun. Do you mind if I record you saying that, Jack? From one trickster to another, I’m sure you’ve got some great insight I could borrow.” Eager to get a new perspective on her favorite goblin, Lola began digging around in her purse to renew her quest of investigation.

“Did you hear that, Mo? I get to be recorded,” Jack smugly stated, plastering on a cheesy smile a charlatan of yore would envy.

“I don’t think the world is ready for your mug,” Modesta sarcastically shot back. Lola emerged from her handbag, holding her tape recorder towards Jack’s face, his smile swapping out for a confused pout as he stared down the microphone of the handheld device.

“Tell me again about the motivation of tricksters, Jack,” Lola sweetly requested.

“Yes, Jack,” Modesta agreed, stifling her laughter to the best of her ability. “Tell the audio world all about it.”

“Uh, Lola, when you said ‘record’, I assumed---.” Jack trailed off, not wanting to hurt the wannabe reporter’s feelings, as Lola’s innocent expression at recording him with her archaic equipment weighed heavily against his conscience.

“Oh, shit, hold on,” Lola cursed. “I need to take notes.” Lola’s quick movements to try and free up her hands in order to get a pen and her notebook caused her to jumble and jostle the items in her arm, and she dropped her notepad along with the newspaper straight to the floor in a flurry of commotion. Modesta bent down to help Lola retrieve her items. When her fingertips brushed the newspaper, she hissed, jolted by the sharp sensation, and yanked her arm back, the feeling as if she had touched the coils of a stovetop scorching into her fingers. Looking at the periodical, her eyes fell on the front page, the grainy image of the train yard staring back at her, and Modesta could have sworn she had been punched in the gut.

“Oh, no. Nope. Not okay, and not today. Nada, nope, not happening,” she stammered furiously, and shoved the paper away from her. “I don’t know why you brought that newspaper into my store, but you need to take it outside now.”

Lola reclaimed the newspaper, slowly picking it up off the floor. “Well, that helps answer some of my questions,” she softly stated.

“Everything all right?” asked Jack.

“I was hoping Modesta would take a look at this picture in the newspaper. Even I got a weird vibe from it, and I wanted to get her opinion on the photo, too.” Lola gave the paper to Jack so he could take a look at the cause of excitement.

“Is this the train yard where that attack was made?” he asked, and Lola nodded.

“What attack?” Modesta asked, unconsciously staggering away from Jack as he held the paper out, studying the photo intensely. The residual tingle of being burned lingered on her fingertips, and her hackles were prickling in warry foreboding.

“I heard about it on the radio last night. A security guard was attacked by a demon,” Jack informed, dropping his voice at the end to whisper so as not to alarm nearby customers.

“A demon?” Modesta repeated, crossing her arms and raising a skeptical eyebrow. “Really? Someone approved that statement to be broadcasted all over local radio?”

“Hey, there’s no mention of the demon in the paper,” Jack stated, turning the pages to try and find the rest of the story.

“Why would there be? The article said it was the work of some kids’ prank gone wrong,” Lola interjected.

“What I heard,” Jack began, “was that the security guard was attacked by a hunched over shadow creature he saw lurking just outside the trees of the forest.”

“How would the radio station know that? The newspaper said the guard has a concussion and a fractured skull. He couldn’t make a statement. His partner found him after he fell,” Lola surmised.

“The dates are wrong, too,” Jack continued, his gaze sharp on the paper. “I heard about the attack happening two nights ago, not last night.”

“Maybe the radio got it wrong,” Lola theorized. “Or, maybe the paper has a misprint. Wait!” Jack’s words began to poke at Lola’s mind, helping to fit pieces of the puzzle together from her earlier haphazard thoughts. “Did you say something about a hunched over shadow creature? Here, let me see that again.” Lola reached for the newspaper and turned to the front page, squinting hard once more at the blurry image. “I can’t tell for sure,” she said at last.

“What are you looking for?” Modesta asked, still standing on the outskirts of her friends thanks to the uneasy item of interest.

“I think the photographer caught an image in the forest, but I can’t make it out. I’ll understand if you don’t want to, but could you please take a look for me, Mo? I get the feeling something’s there, but I need you to validate it or not.”

“Oh, there’s something in that photo, all right,” Modesta confirmed, not even having to look at the image, refusing to touch the newspaper.

“Let me take a look in a better light,” Jack requested, and leading the others to the main checkout counter, spread the pages out on the glass surface. Leaning over the image, he peered closely at the tree line. “I think I can make out a shape. Here, right?” Jack pointed to the same shape that first caught Lola’s attention. "It looks cut off, but that might really be a picture of some kind of figure.”

“Oh, my gracious!” Lola gasped. “What if this is proof of the Hobblin’ Goblin?” she asked in a burst of delight. “Isn’t he rumored to have lived in the forest? What if, what if,” she stressed, “this is him?” Her heartrate had picked back up several faster beats per minute, and the pleasant prickle of goosebumps began crawling up her arms, her earlier disposition melting to give way to the wash of excitement lighting her features. “We’ve got to check this place out!”

“No, Lola,” Modesta cut in harshly. “Absolutely not.” Lola turned to her sour friend, the brusque declaration confusing, and her expression must have read as much, for Modesta pointedly tapped a firm finger on the counter where they all hovered above the newspaper. “This is not safe,” the consternated brunette stated evenly.

“I don’t understand,” Lola spoke. “Why are you so spooked?”

“You wanted my opinion? This is it: stay away.”

“What exactly are you picking up on?” Jack questioned.

“I’m all for Lola doing her research on the legend of the Hobblin’ Goblin,” Modesta began to elaborate. “Since you’re looking for the ‘fun’, I suggest you stick to that route. This,” she indicated, waving her hand over the newspaper, “is not him.”

Lola’s excitement quelled as she stared down at the shape in the photo, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth in contemplation as she considered Modesta’s words compared to her impulse to investigate. This article was a tangible lead, a jumping point for her story to breathe life and take flight. She trusted her friend’s opinion, but nothing short of her own prodding could satiate Lola’s curiosity once it had been roused.

“I trust your judgment,” Lola began carefully, “but maybe we should check things out for ourselves. Come out to the train yard with me tonight.”

“Even if I wanted to, I can’t. I’m leading that workshop tonight and Jack is helping run the store, so don’t even bother asking him,” Modesta replied.

“Sorry,” Jack apologized, shrugging his shoulders in pre-obligated surrender.

“Besides, you’d be trespassing. You don’t have the authority to go traipsing around on private property after hours anyway,” Modesta reminded. If it were anymore possible, Lola’s exuberance and spirits deflated with the realization that she wasn’t, in fact, allowed to do her investigating after hours. A rebellious side of her stayed hopeful, however, and the back of her mind was already formulating plans to get the research she so desperately sought.

“Lola,” Modesta drawled in warning, seeing the gleam of trouble brewing behind her friend’s eyes. “Give me your word you’re not going to go after this figure. Leave it alone.”

Lola rolled her eyes, but still held a smile, always appreciative of Modesta’s caring and cautious nature. “I give you my word I won’t go seeking this figure,” she promised.

“Thank you. Now, if you don’t mind, I have customers to tend.” With that, Modesta flicked her eyes upon the newspaper one final time before turning away. A moment passed before Jack cleared his throat.

“You’re going to go after this figure, aren’t you?”

“Now, Jack, I gave my word, you heard me promise,” Lola reiterated.

“Just…please take Raph with you. I know you are more than capable of handling things on your own, but…if there really is something demonic out there, it’s best if you don’t face it alone.” He gave his friend a comforting squeeze on her shoulder before going to help Modesta with the store. Lola remained silent, thankful of her friends’ concerns, however, the desire to figure out this growing mystery of ghosts and goblins staring back at her from a newspaper headline had her solidifying in her mind what she needed to do in order to properly tell a story.

~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, that Lola. Always getting into trouble.

#newberry at night #adventure #fantasy #romance #love #magic #witches #ghosts #goblins #ghost stories #paranormal #paranormal investigation

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percy-the-penguin · 3 years

Text

Struggles

Ok so thanks everyone who encouraged me to do this, love you all

It’s about S!Anne’s struggles with OCD and ADHD and S!Jane struggling with Dyslexia.

It was a bit rushed so sorry about that and sorry if I get anything about any of these things wrong. I was able to use my own experiences with ADHD and Dyslexia but I did my best with OCD

This has the HC that Anna has OCD

Last names= Swapped

Word count: 1502

TW: None I don’t think, let me know though

Boleyn was sitting on the couch reading. It was a book about Mental illness and she was on the OCD chapter. Cathy had given her the book since she realized how much the queen liked to learn

Boleyn tapped the fingers of her right hand on the armrest of the couch every time she turned the page. Pointer, middle, pointer. She didn’t realize she was doing it. It was just a subconscious habit

When she reached the end of the chapter she shut the book and started thinking as she set the book perfectly centered on the table in front of her

Seymour ran down the stairs, her trusty lighter in hand and signature smirk on her face. She skidded to a stop when she noticed Boleyn sitting on the couch, looking at the closed book in front of her

“Hey nerd, you know what helps with reading? Opening the book.”

“I am aware of this you uncultured swine. I’m merely pondering on the chapter I just read.”

Boleyn’s watched beeped, signifying it was noon. She took her hair down from the low ponytail it had previously been in

“Okay well what were you reading?” Seymour questioned

“Not something you could grasp.” Boleyn retorted

“I’m smarter then you think, try me.”

“I highly doubt that’s true”

Seymour rolled her eyes and picked up the book after putting her lighter in her pocket. She opened to a random page and started scanning it, attempting to make sense of the jumbled mix of letters and words that she was seeing. She frowned “What’s dysphoria?”

Boleyn stood, walking over to stand on the right of the beheaded

“Firstly, dysphoria is by definition ‘a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life.’ secondly, that word is dyslexia, not dysphoria. Lastly, dyslexia is ‘a general term for disorders that involve difficulty in learning to read or interpret words, letters, and other symbols, but that do not affect general intelligence.’”

“Can I set this book on fire?” Seymour asked

“No!” Boleyn responded, snatching the book as Seymour pulled out her lighter

“What’re you two up to?” Jane questioned as she walked into the room the two swapped queens were in

Seymour scowled and grumbled something under her breath. She wasn’t the biggest fan of her counterpart

“Good afternoon” Boleyn greeted “I was reading when this vermin interrupted me”

Seymour rolled her eyes “You were not reading”

“I was processing the words on the cover and therefore reading”

Jane looked at the two with a slightly confused expression on her face “Alright..would either of you like anything?”

“I would like to burn that book” Seymour announced

“No.” Boleyn responded quickly

“Erm, lets not” Jane said with an awkward laugh

Seymour sighed “You guys are no fun”

Jane went into the kitchen to make herself some tea

Within the next few days, Cathy had started noticing Seymours struggle with reading and writing along with Boleyns methodic tendencies and hyperfocus

She approached Seymour first

“Hey” Cathay greeted

Seymour glanced over “Hey.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“There’s nothing stopping you.” Seymour responded

“Fair enough. Do you have Dyslexia?”

Seymour simply shrugged “I don’t know. Is that the reading thingy Boleyn was going on about?”

Cathy nodded and Seymour shrugged again “Don’t know”

They had a short conversation before Cathy asked Seymour to read something which confirmed her theory when Seymour read d’s as b’s, q’s as p’s and constantly switched words and lines. Cathay thanked Seymour and left her so she could do..whatever she was doing.

She went to Boleyn next

“Hi”

“Hello Catherine” Boleyn looked up “May I help you?”

“I just had a question. You read the book I gave you right?”

Boleyn nodded in confirmation “Yes.”

“Do you think you might have OCD?”

“I believe it could be a possibility, yes.”

Cathy nodded “What about ADHD?”

Boleyn pondered on the question for a moment before responding “That is also a valid theory. I do exhibit the Hyper Focused side of the disorder”

Cathy nodded again “Well if you want to talk to anyone about it, Anna has OCD and Anne has ADHD”

“Thank you.” Boleyn responded politely though the thought of talking to her chaotic counterpart was not appealing

After a few days, Boleyn got curious so she went to Anna’s room and knocked on the door

“Who is it?” The red queen called

“Boleyn” the divorced queen responded

There was silence for a moment before Anna responded

“Come in”

“Thank you” Boleyn said as she walked into the room, closing the door behind her

“Cathy says you have OCD?”

Anna nodded “Yeah?”

“I do too, self diagnosed of corse but I was wondering if you had any tips to help me cope with the compulsions and, erm..more intrusive thoughts.”

Anna nodded in understanding “I’m not sure how good my advice would be but I can give it a shot”

Boleyn nodded in acceptance and sat down, waiting for Anna to speak

“First off, never try to stop the thoughts. Nine times out of ten it only makes it worse. Secondly, it’s okay if you slip up with a compulsion. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure if you do. Thirdly, slowly try to lessen the compulsions like if you have a tapping compulsion where you uh..tap a doorframe five times before you go through. Next time try to just do four and repeat that until it feels comfortable. It’s okay if it feels uncomfortable at first, that’s completely normal so don’t push it. Lastly, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask someone for help. It sometimes helps to talk about your thoughts and compulsions and can even lead to good methods of dealing with them. Oh, also, everyone’s OCD is different so if some methods don’t work for you that’s okay. You can find your own methods and do research on what could work.”

Boleyn nodded “Thank you that was quite helpful”

“Happy to help” Anna respond

“Have a good day.” Boleyn respond before exiting the room, automatically touching the door frame with her right hand as she went

Boleyn took a breath and thought for a moment before deciding to talk to her counterpart against her better judgement

She walked into Anne’s room. Anne was laying stomach down on the bed, propped up with her elbows as she held a controller and played Halo

“Are you busy?” Boleyn asked

“Yeah but give me a sec and I’ll be right with you” Anne responded

Boleyn sat down and waited. It took Anne five minutes to get bored of what she was doing so she took out the game and put in another, seemingly forgetting about Boleyn who cleared her throat to get the girls attention

Anne looked over “Oh, right, sorry. What’s up?”

“I was wondering about your ADHD”

Anne shrugged “I have it. No idea what it means.”

“Well what are your symptoms?”

“Uhhh” Anne thought back to when Cathy had talked to her “Hyper, short attention span, fidgeting, impulsive, probably some other stuff. I dunno”

“That was little help but good to know, thank you”

“Mhm” Anne had already gone back to the game

Boleyn rolled her eyes and left

Seymour sighed as she sat on the couch, biting her lip and questioning how the fuck people could read. Parr had suggested the book but Seymour was having great trouble decoding the words. She was about a minute away from burning the stupid book when Cathy came down

“What’s up?” Cathy asked, seeing the frustration on Seymours face

“I can’t read this stupid ass book” Seymor complained “The words are all jumbled and the letters don’t make sense and I keep skipping lines”

“Have you ever tried an audio book?” Cathy suggested

“Hm?” Seymour asked

“Its something where someone reads a story and records it. There are a lot of apps for them. It might help you to listen to it as well as read along to keep yourself on track. May I see your phone?”

Seymour looked suspicious but gave Cathy her phone after unlocking it

Cathy downloaded an audio book app for her and started the subscription with her own money

“Thanks..” Seymour said “Why are you helping me? Do you want something?”

Cathy shook her head “No no, I just enjoy reading and hopefully you will too once you get the hang of it. Reading also leads to better writing so its a win-win” the blue queen smiled “Just remember it can be frustrating but thats okay. Learning no skills are hard but please don’t set anything on fire because of it”

Seymour smirked “I make no promises”

Cathy laughed a bit

Within the next few days, Seymour was making progress. Cathy had been right, the audiobooks did make a difference and helped her follow along. When she was listening to audio books was the only time she wasn’t chaotic, almost peaceful. Of course she never forgot to add just a bit of mischief to someones day

@ender1821 @arithebroadwayaddict @mega-heir-of-heart

#six the musical swapped au

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cartoonfangirl1218 · 3 years

Text

Riverdale should have been a Disney show

Riverdale should have been a Disney show. There I said it. I'll admit the first season was fine Great even. Self-contained with an intriguing mystery and you waited at the edge of your seat for what will happen next. But then... Part of the problem for me is because I've read the original comics since I was a girl. I still do get some from my mom, and the way they have changed the characters just bug me.Betty used to be the girl next door, always hopeful, smart, trying to figure out the mystery. And it was perfect that she was a reporter because Betty was always someone who valued honesty so her being the roving reporter was perfect. And her taking pills for anxiety or some sort of disorder was also a nice take because she does take on so much, and tries so hard to help and be good and nice and perfect. All the stress. Archie was also great in the first season. A bit horny, but he means well, and he truly is an average American boy so his big trouble of choosing between music and football. He's a klutz and sometimes his plans go sideways but he means well, he's all for family and Riverdale and school spirit. None of this whole Red Hood/semi mafia/wrestling nonsense. I actually really liked their take on Veronica, she still a bit materialistic and thinks she can depend on her wealth to get her out of trouble but I do like their take on trying to be enterneauripal and working to act less high class society girl as she was used to.

Jughead, I'm conflicted with. Because he's good I guess as a brooding, investigative journalist he's good. It fits the setting of the show. But I do have a soft spot for him as the sane man to Archie. Going about his business, surprisingly philosophical. And you can't forget the most important attribute to him. His love of food! I miss that. Like the one scene in season 1, I forget what exactly but basically he ordered burgers and when Cole Sprouse just protectively held the burger to him...such a nice touch. That sort of guy I can see as a DCOM. The genius ditz I guess it's called. But he's not dumb. He just prefers napping to being awake.

Now the others...omg.I have a bone to pick when it comes to the other characters in Riverdale. Josie and the Pussycats-- they are such lively musicians who solve crimes, sometimes in space. ABsolutely wasted here. Melody barely had any lines. And they didn't have Alex or Alexandra Cabot which was such a shame. I know, I know they're in the new Katy Keene show but having them be step-siblings who used to date is wrong and weird and bad and no! Stop having the twins in these shows with vaguly incesteous feelings. It's weird!

Kevin Keller, all his storylines revolve around his bfs or lack of bfs or how much he wants a bf. The Kevin of Archie comics was so much more well-rounded. He was head of ROTC, he was class president, he ran marathons, he was Veronica's bff, he was a reporter. He had an appetite to match Jughead's. He even had a brief crush on Jughead! He was so much better than this sham. He was confident in who he was and did his best to help others feel good about themselves too because he knows not everyone is lucky to come out as LGTBQ in a supportive environment.

Reggie. I think not giving him enough of an arc in season 1 really backfired because if he appears, it's only as Veronica's arm candy. Which is a shame because he is a good contrast to Archie. A bit richer yet a cheapskate. Thinks he's a casanova, loves being the class prankster. A modern day politician with his sweet words when all he cares about himself. Basically like

Yet he has his hidden depths with his neglectful workaholic parents and jealousy of Archie's popularity. Cheryl. Omg Cheryl. They have ruined you here. I'm sorry, I do NOT find any of her lines iconic. It's like she swallowed urban dictionary and a gothic novel and came out all jumbled in a google translate. She may be abused but the way she still treats others like shit and gaslights her gf and makes everything about her is just...ugh!!! OMg, comics Cheryl is actually fun and iconic. She's as rich and pretty as Veronica and unafraid to use it. She wants to be a star like a modern day influencer. She's a red-haired Sharpay Evans basically.

Also Jason, her twin whom they sadly killed off. He was also fun like a meaner, snobbier version of Reggie. But with a huge crush on Betty which I think could have been used to milk such drama.

Polly also got hit badly. She was a good older sister. She was a reporter, and inspired Betty's enviormental-feminist activities. A sane person. Not a cult worshipping cuckoo. Toni Topaz, ah she was so good in season 2 and then they made her Cheryl's arm candy. Alas. I liked her as a friend to Jughead. In the comics, she was his equal in food contests. That's no small feat. She was cool, and joined Betty's band and... she was her own person. Remember when Toni used to be a photographer for the South Side paper. Yeah. Basically Toni as a 3d character with personality. Please return.

Dilton. Oh Dilton. Once the smartest person in the Archie universe and they turned you into a survival freak to get killed by the gargoyle king. Or whomever. I just remember he got killed somehow. Honestly, they should have stuck to smart Dilton. They need a smart scientist there, cuz no one is using their brains in Riverdale.

Chuck. They have done you SUCH A DISSERVICE! So so bad. Chuck was a good person! He was a cartoonist, and a basketball player and Archie's friend. (Yeah, that's right Archie has friends in the comics. Even though Riverdale makes some effort to show Archie and Jug's bond, they're mainly consorting with their gfs. In the comics, they had guy nights. Reggie, Chuck, Kevin, Dilton, Moose. Come on show. Friendships are just as important.) And what did they do, make him a lying scumbag, turn him good and then have him arrested because of what Cheryl did! No, no no. Bad writers. Just no. Ethel Muggs. You have also been wronged in season 3. Making her a crazy freak. Ethel in season 1 was nice. Ethel in the comics is nice. Plain but with a good heart even though she had a slightly obsessive crush on Jughead. Here, making her cult worshipper.... smdh. Okay at this point I know I sound like a bitter, bitter person complaining how it'S nOt liKE tHe cOmICs. But hey, I admit season 1 was good even if they changed the characters a bit. It’s just that I watched Riverdale because of the property it derived from. Because of the comics. At the least I expected some faithfulness to the characters. Not make them all so inconsistent and crazy.

It's just the writing is so inconsistent! The plots hop around and so do their moods. Bughead and Choni broke up for one episode and then they got right back together. Even though they had VALID reasons to break up. Nope. That made fans mad. So they had to get back together. Ugh. And Archie got attacked by a bear and was so traumatized that he broke up with Veronica because "he's changed" for like two episodes before forgetting about it and going back to Veronica. Oh which brings me to the ridiculous "love triangle" of Archie/Reggie/Veronica where she couldn't choose. Please, Archie and Veronica were reuniting and planning to go run away for a weekend together. Reggie was completely forgotten until he walked in on them. And Veronica couldn't decide because she loves them both? No, she didn't. She may have felt bad to tell Reggie but it's not because she loved him. Forgetting a guy so quickly...yeah great proof of love. Horniness maybe. But her indecisiveness makes her look bad. Don’t tease a will they, won’t they when the answer is so obvious. If you're going to do something like that, you should have there be something called CONSEQUENCES! They can get back together but at least wait. Wait 8 episodes at least so they can have character development. But who am I kidding. Character development is not the goal of this show. The character's just move because the writer's want them too not because it fits their personalities. Such as Archie's grieved reaction for baby Teeth in season 3.

Not only do I have no idea when (the ridiculously named) Baby Teeth appeared, much less why Archie or I should care about his death. But sometimes the show juggles too much. Too many characters. Too many plots. It's all so ugh!!! So my final thought on this is... Riverdale should have been a disney channel sitcom. Archie comics are about family friendly entertainment and sometimes imparted lessons... well so does Disney. I get the appeal of having Riverdale reach a new teen generation, but from what I can see the only big thing Riverdale on CW is that it allows alcohol and gartituous sex scenes.

Which is another small gripe of mine. I can handle sex scenes (hello Magic Mike XXL) but so many at such inappropriate moments too It's like that scene in an action movie where they suddenly kiss when they should be running for their lives. No teen is that horny all the time. Plus there's always less is more. If one kisses so much it loses the meaning. If you think your shirtless Archie is going to distract me from lack of plot haha. No. Plot and consistency still sucks and shirtless Archie does not make it better.

But Riverdale as a Disney show can work. After all the comic stories are a bit formulaic. It's all high school hijinks. And all the characters fit an archetype. Archie, the protagonist. Veronica, the fashionista. Betty, the reporter. Jughead, the slacker. Reggie, the class clown/bad friend. Cheryl, the Sharpay, Kevin, the sane one. And if people want a season long story arc with dramatics, Disney can actually handle it too. After all they had the mysterious "threat' lurking in the background of My babysitter's a vampire season 2. Or the Juliet and Mason saga of Wizards of Waverly Place. And if people want adult situations, look on to Jessie. Rewatching an episode now, there were so many adult jokes and references that flew over my head so they could sneak those in. Heck, Disney channel is infamous for all the innuendos they manage. And they handle consistency. Cody and Bailey broke up in Suite life on deck, they actually stayed broken up for a good half season. Gabe matured from a prankster tween to teen in love in Good Luck Charlie. Actions have consequences, characters grow. Storytelling 101

And the best part is they don't even have to think too hard for the plots of the week. They literally can build on stories from the comics. All 80 years of it. And I have put some examples right here from my own Archie comics. Like Veronica literally being the fashion police.

Veronica and Cheryl teaming up + rolling around in their money.

Cheryl changing the Cherry Blossom Festival to the Cheryl Blossom Festival

Archie doing his classic Valentine's Day mix up

Veronica and Betty buy Cheryl’s maid service when her father forces her to get a job.

Jughead and Trula (Jughead's nemesis & psychoanalyst in training) get amnesia and become friends.

A boy dares to change Veronica

Jughead falls in love with the lunch-lady

Betty and Veronica pretending to be distressed damsels to get Archie's attention (it backfires)

Toni and Jughead foil each other in a food eating contest.

Betty's cast causes more pain to other students

Reggie dates Cheryl (for real)

Reggie helps Kevin dress for the dance and his mystery date

Riverdale Shore.

Cabot vs Lodge

I think all this pretty much illustrates my point. Archie comics equals Disney sitcom all by itself.

#Anti Riverdale #my opinions #random musings #salty rant #archie comics

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buddha-in-disguise · 4 years

Text

Discourse, Supergirl and fans.

The Supergirl situation with William Dey, is far more than about William Dey per se.

I touched on this when I first posted about David Harewood.

What I have seen, and I am still seeing is while some SuperCorp fans were annoyed about the preview for episode 12, this was also coming from a diverse section of the fandom. That David (and others) have singled out the SuperCorp fandom is both unfair, and unhelpful. But that is a different discussion altogether.

So - I am going to repeat and expand on some of what I wrote at the time to try and explain why I, (and others) have found Supergirl to be really problematic at the moment.

First of all: There is no doubt Supergirl currently has a diverse cast, inc. LGBTQ representation.

However, all the diversity in the world means absolutely nothing if a program is seemingly only playing lip service to the characters.

Compare and contrast with Legends of tomorrow. They have 6 women. 2 Muslim superheroes (a TV first). 5 characters are LGBTQ, including Charlie; who is recognised as gender fluid. 4 people of colour. The lead is a woman, who is bisexual, in a canon relationship with a lesbian, and is a superhero.

They do this without it being made a big deal of, enjoyed by LGBTQ and heterosexual audience alike. But it is a huge deal for many because of that diversity, and just as importantly they haven't overloaded the cast numbers, so they all get good solid storylines through a season. A season that is also shorter than Supergirl.

Legends are an example of how you can put in a diverse minority cast, without it becoming forced or cumbersome. It isn't without fault sure, but no program is.

So where is Supergirl going wrong at the moment?

Let's use William, as the crux of the problems are best shown with his character, but it isn't limited to him. I will put first - this is absolutely *not* a criticism towards Staz Nair, who I respect (& like, as far as one can from limited SM interaction). All too often the accusations are made that if you don't like a character, you hate the actor. That is categorically not true for me, nor others I've seen posting about this. Of course if anyone does hate on the actor, that is not okay.

So, back to William. I get the reason he came along in regards to Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made sense. What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer, at least until now.

First instead of Kara and Nia investigating Leviathan after William was 'exposed' in the earlier episodes, now Nia is sidelined again, because they want Kara to team up with William to investigate Lex.

Why? Why do they need that journalistic pairing, when Nia - who as a Superhero, is better placed if danger from Lex occurs. But no, they're making it about Kara having to work with William because Lex threatened to kill him. Plus Nia was being mentored by Kara. Is she no longer being mentored by Kara? Are they a team? Even if the mentoring has ended, Nia is still not being utilised as a journalist.

I am utterly baffled as to why they feel this arc makes any sense. Moreso when an already established character gets sidelined.

I'm also getting tired of seeing anyone who sees these valid opinions about current storyline as being trolls (or the comments all SuperCorp fans are just outright haters. No - SuperCorp fans are a large diverse group, that have incredible artists, fanfic writers, and social media users. Many also multi-ship. To place a blanket statement about a whole fandom as large as SC, is hateful. All fandoms have some who are problematic, but to single out an entire group is not right).

So back to my thoughts. An episode can have some great aspects to it, but it can also be highly problematic to some fans, & receive valid criticism or valid opinions for it. For example, the latest episode of Batwoman. The Alice/Beth story was great. The acting superb. What I found worrying was the way they made Sophie feel guilty for legitimate reasons why she had led a closeted lifestyle. That lifestyle is valid, for Sophie and many LGBTQ people, and for good reason, including keeping some people safe from harm. I felt it was a clumsy attempt for Alice to get into Sophie's mind; it could've been tackled other ways, so it felt wrong they used her sexuality as a way to achieve that. Being closeted for many literally keeps them alive. So that was one hell of a poor choice in my opinion. Yet others have made perfectly credible counter arguments that it showed the difficulties faced by many LGBTQ people. So, great episode, valid criticism/opinion from both points of view. It also highlights you can have excellent episodes, but they can have legitimate issues.

Nor does differences of opinion, as long as it is respectful, makes those voicing them a bully, no matter how much you disagree.

At the end of this, if you don’t agree, and your opinion makes you say something that is intentionally hurtful (directly or indirectly to a person or group of people), it's a bad thing. The key word being intentionally. We all make mistakes, and responses that could've been better, & we all need to be aware of that, but if it is an intended attack, don't be surprised if others call you out for your behaviour.

So now what in regards Supergirl?

I know ultimately that this show is about Supergirl, but it is also about those around her as family & friends. I understand there are only so many minutes in one episode. What I don't understand is why those precious minutes are going to a character, when they have one perfectly placed to do the same role. Why they have to potentially explore another relationship, when we have one canon relationship, one canon on/off again relationship & one relationship that while isn't canon in terms of romantic, it is a big story in terms of best friends, all seemingly sidelined. Which brings me to the Kara fighting for Lena's soul aspect. Again, I am not seeing a lot of fighting for anything, except more and more fans fighting themselves and cast.

Then you just need to look at the dislikes that teaser was given on YouTube, and compare them to previous ones. I've attached screenshots to show this.

A serious misjudgment was made by someone on how that teaser would be received, and again I will stress, this dislike hasn't just been from one area of fandom, but multiple areas. For many it wasn't just about William, but the culmination of unease that has built for a few episodes. A prime example of the straw that broke the camel's back. If you are solely focused on one area of fandom for this discourse (as many blame SuperCorp fans), you need to step back and recognise you are not allowing yourself to see the whole picture. To focus solely on one thing, rather than acknowledging the wider audience are saying this, does not make you the better fan. To dismiss it as trolls, is being dismissive of good, regular fans with legitimate questions or concerns. It is insulting to many of us.

I will be honest, I had high hopes for this season. I also knew it was likely going to be pretty confusing at times since it was given as 'our Black mirror season' and 'nothing is as it seems.' I accepted that.

However, all it seems at the moment is a jumbled mess from pre and post Crisis. They just doesn't appear to be any cohesion at all, which is making it really difficult as a viewer. Add in the changes post Crisis and it feels even more of a mess.

Of course, they could bring in more cohesive elements soon, but considering that we know episode 13 is 'It's a wonderful life,' and Alex Danvers in a later episode is wearing a Super suit - I just sense this whole 'nothing is as it seems' side we appear to be getting isn't changing any time soon, & with episodes running out, with so many strings running through at the moment, it feels really discombomulated. If by seasons end, they pull it off and you can look back and see how it's played out as a whole, I will be the first to say well done for that part.

I do though think right now Supergirl feels chaotic beyond expectation, and no end in sight. I feel there have been too many character additions this season (particularly Andrea & William) that is taking screen time away from Kara, Alex, Nia, Lena, Kelly et al.

It feels like a mess of unnecessary pairings and the crux of the story seems to have been lost in the midst.

That is causing confusion for fans, that is also beginning to become frustration. That frustration is spilling over. Add in the genuine and extremely legitimate concerns over the LGBTQ issues that have arisen (again from far more than just SuperCorp fans), and the frustration has built even more.

I can only hope the next couple of episodes address some of this and not complicate the mess further.

Whatever happens, Supergirl is not doing well in terms of a storyline that is gripping for fans, that is now top heavy with regulars, taking screen time from established characters, and a social media blunder that has so far only exacerbated the simmering uncertainty being felt by many.

It might improve, and I sincerely hope it does, but they are edging into the potential for the anger felt by fans to become an all out riot if they don't stop and see where valid criticism is being given. If this season continues on in this vein, then there is going to be huge swathes of fans drifting away. The concerns are legitimate. I wish it could be seen as that.

#supergirl #lgbtq #supercorp #gay #dansen #alex danvers #kelly olsen #nia nal #nicole maines #chyler leigh #azie tesfai

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nightfallrevel · 4 years

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White Day - Kirishima

A/N: The long awaited White Day post for our favorite soft hard boy~

If you haven’t read the Valentine’s Day post for him, the master list is in my bio - just click on his name!

Warnings: none, fluffy fluff

Kirishima x Reader

Word Count: 2,705

Kirishima had been terrified to come to class the day after Valentine’s Day and face you. However, it wouldn’t have been very manly of him to avoid you, so he had kept his chin up and greeted you the same as he always did. He was relieved when you smiled back and greeted him in return.

Maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe you hadn’t been trying to confess to him, after all. At least, that’s what he let himself believe. However, after over a week, Kirishima began to realize that your smile no longer reached your eyes whenever the two of you spoke and his panic began to return.

To make matters worse, he had no idea how to approach you about it. Valentine’s Day was long past and he felt pathetic that it had taken him this long to figure out that something was wrong. He was supposed to be your friend and he had always paid special attention to you because he wanted to be more than that.

The worst of it all, though, was that he could feel himself pulling away from you. His self-doubt in how to approach you about the chocolates and what they had really meant was crippling his confidence. What did he say to you? He was afraid that, at any moment, the next words to fall from his lips would be a jumbled mess of asking you how you felt in front of everyone.

Kirishima didn’t want that. He didn’t want to embarrass both of you in front of your classmates, but he had no idea how to get you alone. Every day passed with him watching you closely, looking for a moment when you were alone and he could approach you. You were always with someone, though, and he felt there was no way that he could ask to talk to you alone. He definitely lacked that kind of confidence.

With Valentine’s Day nearly three weeks past, he had reduced himself to brooding at his desk while he watched you talk to Mina each day. Kaminari spoke to him, but Kirishima didn’t absorb a single word. A heavy sigh left him as his brain fizzled, not even one idea coming to mind on how to talk to you.

His sigh seemed to catch Mina’s attention as she looked over at him, catching him staring at you. An annoyed expression crossed her features as she seemed to mutter something to you before standing up and crossing the classroom to stand in front of him. Kirishima blinked rapidly as Mina filled his vision, blocking you from sight, as she planted her fists on her hips.

“What the hell are you doing, Kirishima? If you’re gonna stare at her like that, then you might as well go over and talk to her!” Kirishima’s mouth fell open in surprise for a moment until he recovered and dropped his gaze in shame. “She gave you Valentine chocolates, didn’t she! What else do you need?”

He winced as Mina validated his worries about the meaning behind your chocolates and it crushed him. “I… already messed everything up, Mina. I don’t know what to do, now.” Kirishima couldn’t meet Mina’s gaze, but he felt the heat of it on him. She was angry.

“You’re going to fix this, Kirishima! That’s what you’re going to do! I’m tired of watching the two of you pine after each other.” Mina let out an exasperated sigh as Kirishama grimaced at the tone of her voice, his face flushing brightly until it nearly matched his hair. “Look, White Day is coming up. Why don’t you take advantage of that and make it up to her.” His eyes widened and he finally looked up at her.

White Day. He’d forgotten about that! It sent his mind reeling with ideas, but he needed to make sure that he came up with something that was nothing less than perfect. “Mina, you’re a genius! Thank you!” The pink girl smiled at him.

“Of course, I am. Just don’t screw it up, this time!” She stuck her tongue out at him and returned to her seat, ignoring the confused look you were giving her.

A renewed determination filled Kirishima, lightening his spirits. Pulling out a piece of paper and a pencil, he quickly began to write down his ideas. Class had started back up, but he couldn’t focus on anything other than how he’d show you just how he felt about you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were still raw from being rejected. It didn’t help that Kirishima had slowly stopped talking to you. Had you behaved oddly and scared him away, somehow? You had done your best not to act any differently around him, smiling as you usually did despite the vice around your heart every time you saw him.

No matter how you tried to hide it, though, you felt heavy and not quite yourself. That first night, you had cried an obscene amount. Not even Mina knew that you had been rejected. You didn’t have the guts to tell her. You knew she’d only go off on Kirishima and you didn’t want to subject him or yourself to that kind of embarrassment.

Your gaze would often find him during class, however, and you would drift off into the space of thought as you wished with all of your heart that he felt the same. You often felt his eyes on you, too, during your breaks or during training, but by the time you tried to catch him, his gaze was already somewhere else.

You felt it most often while you spoke to Mina, but you were always too afraid to turn around. You didn’t want to see what kind of expression he had; wasn’t it enough that he’d rejected you? The last thing you needed was to catch him looking at you with disgust.

Of course, you were being ridiculous. Kirishima had no idea that he had rejected you. He’d simply called you a great friend. His withdrawal from you probably wasn’t anything more than him putting more focus into his studies. Still, you couldn’t stop your thoughts from running wild.

As you talked to Mina about a movie you’d both recently seen, you tried to come up with a way to talk to her about it. No matter how you looked at it, she was going to go off on Kirishima, but you needed to get it off your chest. Before you could bring it up, however, she was rolling her eyes and getting up. “I’ll be right back.” She muttered to you.

You watched with wide, confused eyes as she crossed the room to approach Kirishima. She seemed to be scolding him for some reason as you couldn’t hear clearly what was being said. You could tell, however, that she was mad. Kirishima didn’t even argue, hanging his head in shame. What confused you even further was the sudden shift in Kirishima’s attitude as he got excited and Mina smiled at him.

You felt a small twinge in your chest at the interaction between them. It was another ridiculous notion that there could be anything between the two of them other than they knew each other in middle school. Mina had told you several times already that she didn’t see Kirishima in any sort of romantic light.

Ignoring what you felt, you leaned in close as Mina sat back down. “What was that all about?” Her gaze shifted from you and back to Kirishima for a moment.

She gave you a warm, yet secretive, smile. “I just had to set him straight from acting like a total idiot. Nothing for you to worry about.” Mina gently patted the top of your head to placate you, but you were only more suspicious. You glanced back at Kirishima and saw him excitedly scribbling on a piece of paper. Something was definitely going on, but what?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a very long day of classes. It was White Day and you had spent the majority of the day watching couples getting together and being lovey dovey. To make matters worse, you were pretty sure Mina had even found herself a boyfriend. She had been distracted by her phone for most of the day and had barely held a conversation.

Even as the two of you were walking home, Mina was distracted by her phone; barely responding to conversation with appropriate ‘uh huh’s and ‘oh, yeah’s. You leaned closer to her, trying to peek at her screen. “Who have you been texting all day, Mina? You’ve barely even-” Kiri Eiji. The name at the top of her screen caught your eye and your stomach flipped. “Why are you texting Kirishima?” You whispered as your steps halted.

Mina froze as she stared at you. Had she been secretly trying to get together with him? Had she lied to you this entire time about not having feelings for him just so that she could watch you crash and burn? No, that was stupid. Mina was your best friend, she wouldn’t do that to you. Then why was she talking to him so much all of a sudden?

“Did… did you realize you had feelings for him, after all? After you saw me fail? Does… does he at least like you, too?” You were trying so hard not to cry as you felt your heart being crushed under a heavy weight. Mina’s eyes widened in a panic and she shoved her phone in her pocket.

Waving her hands in front of herself, she desperately tried to explain. “No! Y/L/N, I swear it’s nothing like that! I really-”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m ready to hear what you’re about to say.” Your ears were ringing, not even sure what Mina had even just said. Your emotions were too high and your heart more than broken. Mina tried to stop you as you ran past her and all the way back to the dorms. Several of your classmates tried to greet you, but you were too consumed, drowning in your tears that refused to fall.

The dam finally broke the moment you were alone in your room. Throwing yourself dramatically onto your bed, you let yourself cry into your pillow to spill out all your frustrations and hurt. It wasn’t until a couple hours later that you were fully calmed down.

Picking up your phone, you tried to text Mina only to find that she had already texted you:

“Wear something nice and meet me in the backyard! We’ll talk and I’ll explain everything that was going on!”

You frowned as you read over the text. Wear something nice? It was the only thing that didn’t make sense. Talk, sure, but what did it matter what you wore? Well, you at least needed to change out of your uniform, so you walked over to your closet and picked out a casual dress. Once you were changed, you left your room and made your way to meet Mina outside.

When you made it outside, your bare feet touching down on the soft grass, you took notice of a large blanket spread out on the ground. On top of it was a large picnic basket, some flowers, and a small cooler. Your brows drew together in confusion until Kirishima stepped out from behind the tree and gave you a hesitant smile.

The sight of him took your breath away; he was so handsome, dressed in a button down shirt and slacks. “Hey.” His voice was so rich and it resonated deep within you. It wasn’t fair. It suddenly occurred to you why he was out here and why Mina had called you to the backyard.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here.” You turned to go back inside, but you were stopped by a large, warm hand on your wrist.

“Wait!” Kirishima called out for you. “Mina isn’t coming. I… was waiting for you.” You froze, letting his words sink in and wondering if you’d heard him right. “Mina was just helping me with planning. I really messed up on Valentine’s Day and I wanted to make today perfect.” His hand slid from your wrist and you slowly turned around.

You looked up into his face, meeting his earnest gaze. His face had taken on an adorable flush as he smiled at you, making your heart flutter in your chest. As easily as you wanted to give in to him and melt into his arms, something still confused you. “You said that I was just a friend, though.”

The smile fell from Kirishima’s face and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I know. I didn’t mean it, though! I only said it because I didn’t know that was how you felt and I was afraid you’d laugh and correct me.” His gaze dropped from you as he hung his head shamefully. “The truth is, I’ve had a crush on you since we first met.” Your eyes widened, a smile spreading across your lips until you laughed.

His eyes snapped back to you, reflecting his confusion as he smiled hesitantly. “Kirishima, we really are a couple of idiots.” You smiled widely at him, feeling all of your hurt and doubt fall away in an instant. “I’ve had a crush on you since then, too.” Kirishima’s smile spread wide across his face, completely dazzling you.

Reaching for your hand, he led you back to the picnic blanket and he sat down, coaxing you to sit with him. “Then, this could be our first date? I put a lot of work into it.” You giggled softly, nodding, and moved to sit with him. Instead of landing on the blanket, however, Kirishima’s hands maneuvered you so that you sat on his lap. A soft blush crept across your cheeks as you looked up at his face, noticing that he had a matching one.

Kirishima seemed to be doing his best not to be overwhelmed as he reached for the nearby cooler. “I’m not really that great at doing stuff in the kitchen, but I figured I could at least manage these.” You watched eagerly as he pulled out a small container from the cooler and popped the lid, bringing it closer for you to see inside.

A small gasp escaped you as your gaze took in the sight of chocolate covered strawberries. You had to hold back a giggle, not wanting to hurt his feelings since you knew how hard he must have worked at making them. They were… messy. The chocolate was lumpy and there were multiple fingerprints on several of them. However, each imperfection was exactly what made them perfect to you.

When you were quiet for too long, Kirishima cleared his throat. “I, uh, wanted to make it up to you, but I didn’t dare try to make homemade chocolates. There’s no way I have the skills for that. Sorry if they’re weird.” He scratched his cheek a bit sheepishly and you stared up at his blushing face. He seemed like he couldn’t quite meet your gaze in his embarrassed state.

A mischievous smirk lifted the corner of your lips as you stared at him. “Oh, thank you, Kirishima. You’re such a great friend.” His eyes widened and his jaw fell slack as his gaze finally found yours. You laughed as he remained speechless. “I’m only teasing! These are absolutely perfect. I love them.” Lifting one out of the container, you bit into it and strawberry’s juices flooded your mouth, mingling with the sweetness of the chocolate.

You held up the rest of the strawberry to Kirishima, offering to feed it to him. He took your offer, his arms wrapping lightly around your waist. Once he finished chewing and swallowed, he tightened his hold on you. “Y/L/N… please, be my girlfriend?” Your hands found his arms, caressing your thumbs over his skin.

Turning in his lap, you reached your arms around his neck and drew him closer. “Of course, I will.” Your lips whispered over his before you kissed him deeply. It barely took a moment before he was kissing you back and the world around you disappeared.

You really were going to have to thank Mina later.

#my work #white day event #Kirishima Eijirou #Kirishima x reader #bnha #mha #my hero academia #bnha x reader #mha x reader

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vanelyreborn · 4 years

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~☆♡!Name Change!♡☆~

(yes I already posted this but I rewrote it and it wasn't up long enough to get noticed the first time)

I'm changing the name of the book, branching out on the theme and content, and working harder than ever to accomplish publication. Let me explain....

I wrote the mushroom pairing, linking together the poem and its source which was initially meant to be a private journal entry. I loved it, but I knew that it would be the only one of its kind if I tried to fit it in the book. Once I was finished with it, I felt lost without a pen in hand. Like the bummed out feeling of November 1st letting me know Halloween is over. On a much smaller scale, of course. But I had put so much of my focus on writing and blending them. And, as satisfied as I was to read and share them completed, I was in a funk that it was over and I needed another prompt to pour myself into.

I remembered something I started at least a month or two back about regret and read it over to see if I could build on it. It was really just scribble about a moment of affirmation and only felt profound until I got lost for the words needed to finish it. So far, thankfully, I have been right in assuming that a rewrite of Regret would be worth a shot. I'm having a difficult time with a conclusion that stays on point without rambling too much but I've always had that issue. Good thing about that is that I have a lot of material for content in unfinished pieces. I've gotten a little infatuated with the process of writing these pieces over and over again, each time, making improvements until I'm satisfied. From Numb to New was merely a frustrated rant I wrote in the middle of the night until the words themselves helped me pinpoint what made me feel so compelled to start it.

I realized, however, that these entries may be good practice for improving the quality of my writing, but I was neglecting the book. The material is good for me, personally, because much of it is me having stern talks with myself or reminding me of my worth and purpose. The words are bringing all my neurotic, jumbled thoughts to life and I'm starting to know who I am for the first time. But it doesn't fit with the theme of the book so I have nowhere to blend it in. How can I fill the book with content if I'm stuck on a side track?

The idea began a couple of nights ago. Andrew was on call and I got to ride along with him and took my notebooks with me to work on Regret. I blurted out a sudden thought about making a series of partner pieces like i did with the journal entry/ poem duo about the balance of a mushroom and why that feels like a reflection of us. I was throwing the idea together in that moment so details were far from being worked out. It sounded like a mess of an idea to me, but he thought it was great. Partly because he was just glad to see me smile and get excited about something considering how I've been feeling lately. Plus, he's biased. But he always means the words he chooses when letting me know that he's proud of what I do and how determined I am to see it through to the final pages. I struggle so much with how creativity crushing it can be when not taken seriously. He never dismisses my ideas or tells me what he thinks I want to hear just to appease me. Validation from someone who was simply saying how they felt and didn't even realize they were giving it can be highly motivating. Not being patronized like I'm a four-year-old presenting a picture she colored without going outside the lines is so empowering.

So, as I was working on what must have been the 5th rewrite of Regret today, I thought of a way to give these pairings their own place. Lyrics, Limericks, Lillianisms, and So-called Poetry will now include pieces I write to reflect on or represent the lessons I learn through a self rediscovery at least 15 years in the making and finally taking shape in a way that allows me to be proud of myself.

As for the other reference used for the new name; The symbolism of a lantern and the metaphor comparing it to the light a person offers in our darkest moments always defined our connection so well that I started collecting various lanterns to decorate our wedding and, eventually, our home. From early on he would say that I was a light guiding him out of the dark. And he most certainly returns that sentiment when I struggle with the pits I fall in.

The theme of some of the pieces I'm adding prompting the name change will be lessons I learned from influences that, upon reflection, I realize were also sources of light when my outlook was dark or my knowledge was lacking.

I'm hoping for many, if not all of these entries to be paired with corresponding poetry, lyrics, limericks, or haikus. Lessons and Lanterns will blend just right, not only staying on theme, but also flowing nicely with the rest of the book's current title.

I scribbled several options for the new name, changing the order and trying to convince myself that the length wasn't absurd. And unless I cave under the pressure of the my usual fickle, indecisive impulse to change my mind when noticing a different perspective, I believe my favorite has been chosen.

"Lyrics, Limericks, Lillianisms, and Poetic Lessons from the Lanterns of Life."

I think I love it. My content options have expanded, the book will have a new and enhanced purpose, and if this pattern continues, I'll be brought to life along with it.

I hope you'll keep watch because I'm finally starting to conjure up motivation and make progress. Regret is so close to complete and From Numb To New is in need of a lyrical partner. I even have a short list of entries waiting in line to be written. Some are just quickly jotted prompt ideas but a few are far enough in that they hold their own purpose already.

I know this was lengthy so I appreciate that you took the time to notice.

Have an excellent day and be good to yourself.

#lillian vanely #lillianbeltonjones #vainlylillian #vanelyreborn #mushroom #lyrics limericks lillianisms and so called poetry by lillian vanely #poetry #lyrics Limericks Lillianisms and the poetic lessons from the lanterns of life #update

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kurt-nightcrawler · 5 years

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Worth It

Worth It - 3k

So this took me two months to write and my computer was being an ass so I’m just now posting this. I hope you guys enjoy anyways!

Requested by @proudfangirloftoomanyfandoms I hope you like it!

Request/Description: Kurt goes to the mall and meets a non-mutant girl and they fall in love but Charles doesn’t really want her around since she’s just an ordinary human

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of bullying, mentions of violence, and mentions of cheating

Life as a teenager is stressful; you get treated like a child and an adult, your friends expect one thing from you while your parents have standards already set, not to mention— you’re trying to figure out who you are!

And throw on top of that a mutation! Geez, life just throws it all at you, doesn’t it?

—

Every once in a while the X-Men had an opportunity to be normal teenagers. This meant they’d hang out, mess around— normal teenager stuff.

However not all of them knew what a “normal teenager” did, or an American one anyway.

Warren spent his youth cage fighting, Ororo was stealing trying to keep herself alive, and Kurt was in a circus!

Nonetheless, the other four did their best to indulge the three.

—

They frequented the mall. Kurt liked going. Sure most of the time Jean and Scott ditched and went to do couple stuff, Peter and Warren would bond over music, and Jubilee and Ro paired up— But Kurt didn’t mind.

—

Kurt trailed behind Peter and Warren this time around— they were excited to get some punk rock record— and while punk rock was good, Kurt preferred pop.

“You hang around Jubilee and Scott too much. Van Halen is superior to Cyndi Lauper.” “It’s ah preference.” “If you say so— Warren do you have this Kansas album?”

Kurt rolled his eyes and went back to browsing the new release section. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular though.

—

A group of three walked in. Kurt ignored them for the most part— if he didn’t look at them, they wouldn’t look at him. Usually.

“I’m gonna see if they have any new records.” Kurt internally cringed, he didn’t want someone to notice him. But this was a public place— open for everyone, it was wrong to be that selfish.

“Uh, excuse me— I can wait but I just wanted to see if they had this one record I’m looking for. I won’t be long.”

Kurt turned to answer, but he couldn’t speak. Standing there was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen in his life, “Uh… uh… Ja.” “Thank—“

BAMF

“Hey, Kurtie! Did you get any records or tapes?” He shook his head, “No… No. I met this girl, and she vas pretty but I freaked out and bamf-ed away!” “What’s got Kurt so— blue?” “Scott…” Jubilee groaned. “Alright, I’ll admit. That was pretty bad. But still— what’s wrong Kurt?” “I saw this girl in the music store! And zhe was amazing! Zhe zeemed really nice, but I freaked out because— vell I’m blue vith ah accent! And zhe’s normal!” Peter and Warren returned with a bag from the music store, “Dude I don’t think that she’d even talk to you if she was scared. She just seemed confused when you left.”

“We explained to her you get nervous easily. And then she kinda freaked out a little, about how “I didn’t mean to scare him!” “You should talk to her. Maybe apologize?” “Scott.” He shrugged, “Wouldn’t hurt, right? What does she look like anyway?”

“That’s her,” Peter said, nonchalantly motioning toward the group of 3 girls, “The one in the worn out band t-shirt.”

“Okay, it is your civic duty to go and talk to her.” “Vhat?” “You should talk to her. She’s cute and she feels bad for “scaring” you. This is literally a golden ass opportunity for you!” “Are you zure?..” “Uh huh. Now go!” Scott shoved Kurt a little bit in the girl’s direction. She turned away from her friends to see what was going on; Kurt froze, panic ensuing again, but there was a bit of calming relief when she smiled and waved at him.

—

“Hi! You’re the guy from the music store, I’m (Y/N).” “I’m Kurt.”

“Kurt.” (Y/N)’s voice was like an angel’s. He finally understood why Scott loved listening to Jean talk for hours.

“I’m so sorry for frightening you! I thought you saw me and I just feel really bad.” His rail shot up, “Vhat? No, no! It’s fine, really. I’m just not very zocial.” “I still feel guilty. Can I make it up to you somehow?” “Uh, well… Um,” ‘Darn it, Kurt!’ He was struggling to form sentences.

“Willst sie mit mir ausgehen?”

“I… I don’t speak German. I’m sorry.” “Ah! No it’s my fault. I’m just nervous.” “Am I scary?” Kurt shook his head, “No, but ah, you see, I like you... And I was hoping you’d like to go on a date vith me.” “Oh! Yeah, I’d love to!” His face lit up, “Really?” She nodded, “Would you want to see a movie tomorrow night?” “Ja! Does 7pm work?” “Uh huh. Would you wanna see Splash?” Kurt had no idea what that movie was about but he wanted to impress (Y/N). “Zure. I’ll meet you here?” “Yeah! See you then Kurt.”

—

It was almost 7pm and Kurt was nervous. He changed his outfit four different times and was freaking out in a jumbled mixture of German and English.

“Kurt breathe. Just breathe, alright? (Y/N) only speaks English, and she liked you enough to agree to go on a date with you— I’m sure it will go fine.” Kurt nodded, trying to calm himself with Scott’s words.

“Also it’s 6:57.” “AH! I must go! Goodbye!”

BAMF

—

Kurt didn’t see (Y/N), so he went ahead and bought the tickets.

“Boo!” Kurt flinched. “Did I scare you?” He looked at his ‘scarer’ and smiled. “You vish!” She let out a quiet, “Darn it.” “Any- Anyways, I got the tickets. You ready?” “Yeah! Let’s go!”

—

Kurt had some kind of adrenaline rush, Splash was an amazing movie, and he was pretty sure his date with (Y/N) was going fantastic.

“What’d ya think Kurt?” “Oh! I really enjoyed it. I thought Madizon and Allen were a good couple.” “Me too! Tom Hanks is super cute.” Kurt blushed and looked at the ground.

“But I mean… he’s not as cute as you.” Kurt perked up— tail and all, “You think I’m cute?”

She nodded. “Thank you,” Kurt squeaked.

—

“So… do you have a ride, or…?” Kurt blinked.

“Oh! Right. You teleport. Sorry. I forgot. Which is really rude of me, and— I’m sorry. I’m just nervous, I guess.” “Vhat? Vhy?” “I had a really great time! But I just don’t want it to end or we never end up seeing each other again.”

Kurt nodded. She had a valid point.

Then a light went off in his head, “Can you write your number on the back of my ticket ztub?” “Yeah, yeah!” (Y/N) quickly scribbled her number down, “And… There! You’ll call me, right?” She teased.

Kurt nodded, “Tomorrow. Hopefully.” (Y/N) smiled. “I had a good time Kurt.” “Me too—” She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Uh, um. Uh…” “I’ll see you soon.” His voice was gone for a moment, like Madison’s in Splash, so he just nodded.

“Dr. McCoy, can I use the phone to call zomeone?” “Sure, but long distance calls cost extra. What are you calling someone for?” Kurt fiddled with the ticket stub hidden in his large hand. “I promized (Y/N) I’d call her tomorrow, now today.” Hank smiled, “Sure. There’s a phone in my office you can use.” “Danke zo much!” Kurt hugged the man and disappeared to his office.

“Honey, the phone’s ringing! I think it might be that boy you went out with last night!” (Y/N) fell off the couch in shock and ran to the kitchen phone.

“Hello?!” “Iz thiz (Y/N)?” “Yeah! Hi Kurt! How are you?” “I’m great!” “Hey, Blue! Is that (Y/N), your girlfriend?” “Shh Peter!” (Y/N) laughed to herself. Once she heard Kurt usher Peter out, she took that as her queue to talk. “Zorry about him. Peter’s… nozey.” “It’s alright.”

“Anywayz I was wondering if you’d like to go on another date?” “Yes! I mean, sure. I’d love to.” “Great! I was thinking Wednesday we could go to the park?” “Sounds like fun. I’ll see you Wednesday.” “Bye (Y/N)!” “Bye Kurt!”

—

“Ororo! I need your help!”

—

It may have been March, but when it got dark, it got cold. Which is why (Y/N) brought a coat.

She was heading to the spot she agreed to meet Kurt at.

“Is that? That’s a— Oh my gosh! Kurt?! Is this an ice rink?” “Ya! Come on!” “But I don’t have any skates.” He halted and was at the edge of the rink, “I’ve got zome for you, come on.” She followed him best she could and got to the small bag he had and her skates.

He waited as she put them on and laced them up.

—

“How did you? How did you do all this? The rink closed last week.” “My friend, zhe can, uh, control the veather, and I thought this vould be a fun idea since Allen and Madizon vent skating. I hope you don’t mind—” “You did all this for me?” Kurt nodded, extremely nervous, “Do… Do you like it?” “Kurt I love it! Thank you!” His heart jumped at her reaction. She looked so happy, so full of life— He wanted that. He wanted to make her happy again.

—

Kurt was fidgeting while (Y/N) took off her skates.

“Everything alright?” “Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah.” She smiled, not really buying Kurt’s excuse but she didn’t want to press it.

—

Kurt decided to take (Y/N) home, as she didn’t drive this time.

“Thanks again. For everything.” “Of course.”

(Y/N) stepped onto her front porch, Kurt’s tail wrapped around his leg and squeezed it, to try and help calm some nerves.

“(Y/N)?” “Yeah?” “Vould you… Vould you like to… Vould you like to be my girlfriend?” “Yes! Yes!”

(Y/N) wrapped her arms around him tightly. She could feel him smiling.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, kay?” He mumbled a “Yeah,” and kissed her head.

—

That was four months ago. Kurt and (Y/N) went on many dates since then— more movie dates (obviously), they went swimming, out to eat, they went to the amusement park 30 minutes away from Westchester— he even had dinner with (Y/N) and her mom!

“So when do we get to meet (Y/N)?” “Peter, you’ve met her before. At the mall.“ “Yeah, yeah, when you two first met. But I want to meet her as your girlfriend. There’s a difference!”

“Vell… Zhe’s not a mutant.” “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” “I don’t think Professor Xavier vould vant a non-mutant here.” “That Moira McTaggart pops in all the time, I’m sure he wouldn’t care. It’s not like she’s going to do something bad to us.” Peter had a compelling argument, it really wouldn’t hurt to ask if (Y/N) could visit the mansion, at least one time.

—

“Well… I don’t know Kurt.” “Please Professor? (Y/N) is one of the most trustworthy people I know.” Charles still wasn’t fully convinced. “It vill be one time. Ve’ve been together for four monthz. It’s only fair zhe getz to meet my friendz.” “Alright. I suppose one afternoon won’t hurt anyone.” “Just have to make sure Erik doesn’t visit,” He mumbled. “Huh?” “It was nothing, Kurt.” “Alright, Professor. I’ll zee you around.”

—

“Zoooooooo maybe I’ve got good newz,” Kurt said, twirling the phone cord with his hand. “Which is..?” “You free right now? For the next few hourz?” “Yeah, why?” “I’m coming over.” “Alright.”

And before (Y/N) could even hang up the phone, Kurt was already in her home.

“Hallo engel.” “Kurt!” She jumped up hugged him. “So what’s this ‘good news’ of yours?” “The Professor zaid you come over.” “Like, right now?” He nodded. “What?! Oh geez! I need to get changed. I want to make a good first impression.“ “(Y/N), they’ll love you no matter vhat. You don’t need to ‘dress to impress’ az Jubilee vould zay.” “Are you sure?” He nodded and held her hand giving it a gentle squeeze.

—

BAMF

You were both suddenly somewhere else. ‘This must be Xavier’s. It’s huge!’ “This is a school?” “Ja! Crazy isn’t it?” “Definitely.” “Come on! My friendz really vant to meet you.”

Kurt led her to some sort of entertainment or living room where the young X-Men were gathered.

“Uh, hi.” (Y/N) nervously waved her hand. “Oh my gosh! Hi! I’m Jubilee. Kurt talks about you all the time.” Kurt blushed and sheepishly grinned, “Zhe’s not vrong.” (Y/N) lightly laughed, “That’s cool. He talks about you guys too. “What does he say about us?” A silver-haired boy asked. “Good things. You guys are really cool and brave, doing what you do. I could never do it.” “It’s hard but it’s the right thing to do.”

(Y/N) got to learn more about Kurt and his friends, and she loved them. Jubilee had already tried to plan a girl’s night with her, Ororo, and Jean. Peter and Scott tried to pry for silly details of their relationship, but (Y/N) didn’t cave claiming, “If you have to ask I don’t think I should share.”

That Saturday was one she would never forget.

Charles, however, didn’t really want (Y/N) around much, since she wasn’t a mutant. So she made do with hanging out with the whole group outside of the stuffy(ish) mansion.

—

“(Y/N)’s been acting differently.” “Hmm?” “I mean I don’t know her well as you do, but she seems more quiet and tired. Everything okay?” Kurt pondered for a moment. She was more quiet and tired, but she said it’s because she had some big tests coming up and her mom wanted her to look for a job.

“I think zo. Zhe’s just vorried about zchool and her mom wantz her to get a job.” “Oh.” Scott wanted to slap himself, people got stressed and tired— that was normal. Why did he even care anyway?

—

“What if she’s cheating on him or something?” Peter and Warren both stared at him. “Dude, that’s crazy. Kurt’s a great guy. Why would (Y/N) cheat?” “I dunno. I think she’s hiding something.” Peter blinked and had confusion on his face; “You have no evidence of anything. Don’t go prying around for it either. Trust me, it will do you better if you don’t meddle with other people’s relationships.” Peter seemed like his speech was based on something else, but Scott didn’t pry further.

—

The phone in the kitchen was ringing. Scott picked up, “Hello this is Xavier’s school for gifted youngsters. How can I help you?” “Um, Scott?” It was (Y/N), she sounded nervous. “Hey, (Y/N). Do you want me to get Kurt? He’s in the library—“ “No! No. Don’t get him. Can… Can you come to pick me up?” ‘Weird request, but okay.’ “Sure. Where are you?” “I’m at school.”

—

She was waiting outside for him. Scott pulled up and he was going to get out, but she ran to the car before he could.

“Thank you so much for doing this. I wouldn’t have asked unless it was a total emergency and it was.” Scott looked at (Y/N) through the rearview mirror, “Everything Alright?” “Not… Not exactly.”

Scott sighed, ‘Jesus this is just like the car ride I had with Alex when he first took me to Xavier’s.’

“What happened?” “Promise you won’t tell Kurt? I don’t want him to know. Not yet anyway.” “Okay…”

“I broke a kid’s nose.”

“What?” “I punched this girl— I didn’t mean to break her nose and I didn’t want to hit her! But she’s been really rude to me, and I can handle that, but she said stuff about Kurt…” (Y/N) got quiet. “Are you getting bullied for dating Kurt?” “Kind of. This isn’t the first time I’ve fought back either. It’s just— they deserve it. Kurt’s a sweetheart who wouldn’t hurt a fly! Sure he’s ‘different’, but that doesn’t give people the right to be rude. Not to mention I’m the one getting in trouble for it! My fucking counselor said maybe I should break up with him since he’s “causing issues between me and my peers.” It’s not right.”

Scott peered back at her at the stoplight. She was crying. “Do you want me to take you home?” “N-no— I dunno, I got suspended for two days, and my mom doesn’t know because she’s currently out of town.” Scott sighed, “Look, we have to go to the mansion. I don’t know how else to fix this.” “But—” “I know. You don’t wanna worry Kurt about this yet. Trust me, I get that, but we have to do something. You may not even run into him while we’re here. It’s a big building.”

—

“Professor I’m so sorry about all this.” “Nonsense. This isn’t the worst trouble a student has ever gotten into.” “Maybe for other kids, but I don’t really get into trouble!” “Everything’s going to be alright, (Y/N). Okay?” She nodded, trying not to cry. “Good. I’m going to contact your mother and tell her what happened.”

“I’ll make sure she won’t kill you, no need to worry.” “Thank you so much, Professor.”

—

Kurt heard (Y/N) came into the mansion with Scott and went straight to Xavier’s office.

So, like any concerned boyfriend, he waited outside Xavier’s office for her.

“Is everything alright?” (Y/N) looked extremely nervous and startled. “It will be. But for now, (Y/N) is allowed to come here whenever she likes.” “Really?!” “Within reason and before curfew.” “Thank you zo much, Professor!” “But I—” “Talk it out with him. He won’t be mad.” (Y/N) nodded and Charles wheeled off.

—

“Iz everything alright?” “I punched a kid in your honor, and even though it’s not what you’d want me to do, I did it anyway.” “Vhat? Vhy?” “I’ve been getting bullied for dating you, and some kid said some pretty mean and untrue stuff about you. So… So I punched them and broke their nose.” Kurt’s face was wide-eyed.

“Hey, hey. It’s gonna be okay. I love you, and those kids are just assholes. Alright?” He didn’t say anything; instead, he just hugged her tightly.

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niiwa-angel · 5 years

Text

A Sudden Realization

//Authors note: so I wrote this and tried to post it and it didn't go through. So now I'm mad and Imma write it again. This is a Skylanders Academy fanfiction. If you would like any others just ask, I am planning to do a trans ftm Jet Vac, TERFS don't interact. Hope you all enjoy//

Spyro lay awake, watching the stars out his window from his bed in his room. His mind was to loud for him to fall asleep, and he had long since resigned himself to the long night. He was conflicted, this heart was heavy in his chest as he tried to work through his emotions. He liked girls, he knew he did, he liked flirting with girls and dating girls, so he logically must be interested in girls. But then Crash came, and now he had no idea what to think about himself, he was fairly certain that what he felt wasn't friendship, but likely something more. And he was so confused, he knew that his adopted family wouldn't care, this school was pretty accepting, but he was still concerned about their reactions. Resigning himself to a sleepless night, Spyro tucked his wings tighter against himself and stared at the floor.

~~~~~~~~~timeskip to morning~~~~~~~~~~

Stealth Elf finished her yoga and stood up with a stretch, her morning training had gone well, she had beaten her high score, and was now ready for some breakfast. She slipped down the hall, already smelling the pancakes from the upper level, she hopped onto the railing and slid down to the first floor.

"Smells Good!" She called to her hot friend, grabbing food off his plate and dancing out of reach while he yelled and reached for her.

"This is why we can't have nice things!" He muttered, with a hint of amusement as he continued to cook. Stealth Elf ate her confiscated flapjack as she surveyed the room, quick to notice a missing member.

"Where's Spyro?" She asked, looking for the purple dragon and finding nothing, not horn nor hide of him.

"Probably still sleeping. You know him Elfie, he stays up playing a game or something and he sleeps in the next morning, I'll poke him before we leave." Eruptor snorted, eyes still on his pancakes, guarding them from thieving elves.

"No you won't, I'm up." Europtor jumped and turned, seeing Spyro draft himself down the stairs. His wings were drooping and his eyes were dull and blank, he looked sick.

"Whoa buddy, what happened to you? Ya look sick!" Eruptor gently said, trying not to be to loud in case his friend had a headache. Elfie had also come to a similar conclusion.

"Do you want to stay home Spy? We can talk to Eon, I'm sure he wouldn't mind." It was well known that Eon was very firm about resting when you were sick, as a suck person on a team was a liability and if it spread to others than it could leave Skylands unprotected. Still Spyro shook his head.

"Nah I'm fine, just a bit tired. I could not sleep for the life of me last night." He lied, he normally would love to stay home and relax but the thought of being alone with his conflicted thoughts was scarier than dealing with Professor Jet Vac if he fell asleep in his class. His friends looked unsure but relented and all of them headed out to the academy.

~~~~~~~~At the school, Jet Vac's pov~~~~~

Jet Vac considered himself an intellect. He was a professor at a prestigious school, so he had to have some level of higher intelligence, so he noticed right away when Spyro walked across the court yard that something wasn't right. His wings were limps, his head was down and he was trailing behind his friends when normally he would be infront of them walking backwards to talk to them. Jet Vac knew that if he went over and asked what was wrong he would not get an anwser, all he could do was wait until his class that Spyro was in and hope to keep him afterwards. Unfortunately, that was at the end of the day, so he slipped into his room and waited for the first bell to ring and preparing for a long day.

~~~~~~~~timeskip to last class~~~~~~~

Spyro had never been so happy for Jet Vac's class, normally he wasn't a fan but right now he was as excited as he could be when he was this tired. All he had to do was make it through one more 45 minute class and he could go home and try to get some information as to what was wrong with him, maybe he could go to the on campus doctor. And it was a Friday, so he had a whole two days to figure this out and start fixing it, if he could stay awake he was home free.

~~~~~Jet Vacs Pov~~~~~~

Jet Vac was never more happy to have a class with Spyro in it. Any other day and he would just be hoping the young dragon wouldn't throw to many paper airplanes, or tell any ridiculous jokes and throw him off his game. Now he was relieved, see Jet Vac didn't have any of his own kids, but he cared for his students like they were his kids and though Spyro was a difficult academic student, he was a good kid who genuinely cared for everyone he encountered and if he was this down, something must really be bothering him. Jet Vac didn't really have a plan, so he would see if Spyro fell asleep and if that didn't work he would just ask to speak with him after class.

That entire lecture seemed to move in slow motion, at one point Jet Vac almost wanted to ask one of the tech kids to see if his clock was broken. He noticed that around 15 minutes into class that Spyro had dozed off, his head resting on his paws and desk, as he walked by Stealth Elf went to go shake him awake but he stopped her.

"No no dear, he looks like he needs it, just make sure he doesn't fall out of his seat. We'll leave him be." Stealth Elf looked absolutely shocked, as Jet Vac wasn't known for being keen on people sleeping in his class, but she nodded and kept an eye on her scaley friend for the remainder of class.

When the bell rang she went to wake him up again before Jet Vac stopped her again.

"I've got him, you two go home. I wanted to speak with him any way." Stealth Elf and Eruptor shared a glance and nodded, leaving the room. Jet Vac smiled and returned to his desk, content to just mark his papers while he waited for his young student to wake up.

~~~~~~~~ an hour later~~~~~~~~

Spyro woke up with a jolt and no idea where he was, it took a few attempts to get the sleep out of his eyes and mind before he realized he was in Jet Vac's classroom. He looked up and saw the bird in question sitting at his desk, lifting his head to look at him. Spyro jumped to his feet, trying to apologise before his teacher could lecture him.

"Professor Jet Vac, I am so sor-" his sentence was cut off as he crashed to the floor, his paws still numb from sleep and not responding to his commands. Jet Vac leaped from his seat and hurried to his side.

"Now Now, take it easy my boy, your body needs a break." He soothed as he helped the purple dragon to his paws. Spyro stood with his head down and waited for the lecture that never came. Instead, Jet Vac smiled and walked him over to a chair next to his desk and offered him some saltine crackers he had hidden in his bottom most drawer on the right hand side. Spyro hesitated and took one, nibbling at it a bit before he mumbled,

"Sorry. I'm uh, I'm sorry I fell asleep in your class." Jet Vac chuckled, causing Spyro to jerk his head up.

"Have a seat Spyro, take another cracker. I'm not mad, you looked like you needed that nap." He said, sitting in his desk chair and pushing the crackers closer to Spyro. "Talk to me, my boy, what's bothering you?" He asked, hoping to the giants that Spyro would talk and get that weight off his chest.

Spyro hesitated and thought about how he was going to spend his weekend, trying to find a cure for whatever was wrong with him, and without warning, broke down. He hadn't cried that hard in all his life as far as he could remember, his entire body shaking with sobs. He was vaguely aware of Jet Vac handing him some tissues and leaving the room, the door clicking behind him.

//great, he's gonna get Eon or Elfie and Eruptor and they all get to see me like this.// He thought, trying his hardest to reign in the tears, only to start hiccuping and having a harder time breathing. He could year the door open and pushed is head under his wing.

"Here, drink this try to calm down. There's no need to be embarrassed." Spyro peeked out from under his wing and saw Jet Vac kneeling before his chair and holding out a glass of water.

"Th, thanks." He choked out, accepting the cool glass and sipping it, relishing the cold liquid on his sore throat. JV nodded and sat back down in his chair.

"Not a problem, Spyro. I'm sorry to push, but if you would like, could you tell me what's bothering you?" He pushed, hoping that Spyro didn't break down again.

Spyro swallowed and took a deep breath. "I think, that I might have had feelings for Crash. More than just ones I feel for Elfie and Eruptor, like, not just friendly ones. I think, I'm not sure, I have a crush on him? And that doesn't make sense because I like girls! I've always liked girls! But now I'm looking back and I think that maybe this has happened before and I didn't notice, and god I don't know what's wrong with me!" He had started crying again about midway through that jumble of words but he didn't have it in him to care, he was just waiting for the backlash of what he had just said. Jet Vac seemed to straighten his shoulders, set his beak and rose up, coming closer to Spyro.

"Now listen and listen well Spyro. There is nothing wrong with you, it is perfectly normal to like boys and girls, I have plenty of friends who do, I don't know why you thought there was." Jet Vac put his hands on Spyro's shoulders, hoping the contact would help ground him.

Spyro, didn't seem convinced. "Then why didn't I notice earlier?" He asked, "Why didn't I realise before that I liked boys?"

Jet Vac thought for a moment and then replied, "Well, you're at a weird age Spyro, you're figuring yourself out and sometimes that brings about realizations that we feel should have been obvious. That doesn't mean it isn't still valid, my goodness, if you had figured it out 25 years from now it still would be valid." Jet Vac shrugged as Spyro started to seem hopeful.

"You promise, promise! There isn't anything wrong with me?" His eyes practically begging for the confirmation that he wasn't broken, while simultaneously asking for this not to be a joke.

Jet Vac thought for a second. " Well you talk in class and can get a bit cocky during training but No, there is nothing wrong with you." He joked, hoping to get a laugh and instead he got an armfull of Spyro, his arms wrapping around him tightly.

"Thank you." Spyro whispered, shaking a little from tiredness. Jet Vac hugged him closer.

"Anytime my boy, anytime." They stayed like that for a moment before breaking away.

"Now then," Jet Vac said, shaking himself a bit, "head home, enjoy your weekend, get some rest. I'll see you in training on Monday."

Spyro nodded and headed for the door, calling, "Thanks JV!" Over his shoulder. Jet Vac smiled and sat back down to finish his papers and remembering all the students who had come to him over the years with similar problems. No Spyro defidently wasn't alone.

Fin

// So I based the sleepless part after myself, it took me a while to figure out what I was and a lot of overcoming internalized homophobia to accept that there was nothing wrong with me. I hope you enjoyed, send me headcanons and I can write other stories like this one. As mentioned above I hope to do one with Jet Vac but I'm a slow writer so it might be a while. Thank you for reading feel free to like!//

#I should remeber to fuckig tag #skylanders academy fanfiction #skylanders academy #Skykanders Fanfiction #Do not tag as spyro/Jet Vac #if I see that I will egg your house #you have been warned #Bisexual Spyro #trans!jetvac #Enjoy

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paladin-andric · 5 years

Text

When Worlds Collide (Part 3)

Part 1

Part 2

Well, I didn’t really plan on this. This was supposed to be a small intro to the paladins’ quest, but it grew and grew...until it just become the short itself. Welp. Here, we learn the fate of the pair that escaped the English army, and learn a bit more about life in the land here, along with the tribe’s relations with their neighbors. Just some world and character building more than anything.

Before anything else, there was a sharp, throbbing pain. He could feel it rocking his senses, located in the sides of his head. A migraine.

Though, that wasn’t the end of it. As his consciousness came flooding back, the sensation of pain began to fill every inch of his body. In addition to his migraine, he was aching sore all over.

He groaned, body shifting under what felt like soft linen blankets. As he did so, it brought the attention of another.

“Alpa! Alpa, it’s Alpa! He’s up! Alpa’s up!”

The excited cries of his friend. Alpa brought a hand to his head and rubbed it, claws scraping against his scales as he tried in vain to soothe the pangs of shooting pain in his skull.

“He’s awake?”

“Yes, yes! Get him the things, please!”

“Guuuhhh...Mepin...?”

“Yes, yes!” his friend cried excitedly, “It’s me!”

“What...happened?”

He managed to force his eyes open. The top half of Mepin poked over the side of the bed, his hands resting on the mattress as he leaned towards Alpa, shooting the resting magician a toothy grin.

“We made it! We made it to safety! We’re okay!”

Alpa blinked, eyes adjusting to the light. He took a moment to examine his surroundings. He was in...a human bedroom.

Well, it seemed human. Nothing the tribe would ever build. The walls were made of wood, and several windows to the right were letting sunshine into the room. There were bookshelves, candles, a desk, a chest...and a small cross beside him on the nightstand, the symbol of the humans’ God.

“Where are we?”

“Greenroot Village!”

The bedridden kobold blinked again, face scrunching up. “H-huh…? But...the forest…”

“I carried you! Albert took us in! You remember mister Albert, don’t you?”

“Mmm...yes. He’s done right by our people.”

“Greenroot’s wonderful! I can’t believe they let us stay! Thank the heavens we’re on such good terms!”

“Mmph. We’ve mistress to thank for our friendship with the humans...wait, mistress!” Alpa tried to shoot up in his bed, but his body refused. The pain shot through him like a bolt of lightning, and he hissed out as he slowly scooted backwards, propping himself against the wall and inching into a sitting position. “S-she is in danger!”

“Don’t worry, everything’s gonna be alright!” Mepin assured his friend. He did not have the calming effect he intended to have.

“Are you mad?! They’ll slaughter everyone! We...we must…”

“I met some hero-men on the way here! Some humans saw what happened to us too! We explained everything, and they’re on the case!”

“Hero-men?” Alba gave Mepin a confused look.

“Yeah yeah! Big and strong! Shiny armor, shiny shiny! Big swords and funny shapes on their clothes! Big words about heaven!”

The magician grimaced. His friend...he certainly did not share the same sort of lifestyle as he. As a man of magic, he studied among any he could...be they human, dragon or otherwise. He frequently left the tribe to journey to accomplished wizards willing to give him a chance to learn. As such, he was...well adapted to civilized life.

Mepin, on the other hand, well...he was but a simple gatherer. He pranced about the forest gathering wood, stone, berries...whatever was needed, really. As such, he never really left, aside from the rare visit to Greenroot, a village nearby the tribe that was on very good terms with them.

Because of this, he had some uniquely…‘koboldish’ habits, his occasional lack of awareness and stunted speech clear signs of that. While Alpa had taught him some of the ‘Big words’, he still fell back on jumbled and dull descriptions of things sometimes, and failed to grasp how life in the outside world worked.

Not that he held it against him. It was simply a result of his way of living. Besides...he was his friend, and it would take a lot more than that to drive a wedge between the pair...especially after what had just happened.

“What...funny shapes? Crosses?”

“Yeah, yeah! Lots of crosses! Big words too!”

His friend was normally well spoken enough, but when he got excited enough he lost focus...and he seemed ecstatic that his buddy was alright.

“Sounds like you met a couple of paladins, Mepin.”

“Oooh...the holy heroes?! Wow...if only I’d known!”

“But they’re helping? Truly?”

Mepin nodded happily. “Yes! They had the villagers bring us back while they left to go after the bad men!”

He looked quite giddy about the whole thing, like a couple of men going after an army was a valid strategy that would somehow work out.

“Hey, Alpa!”

The magician turned to see the source of the voice, though he already recognized it.

A man with a bushy mustache and a small smile entered the room, a wooden bowl in each hand. He was wearing simple but clean clothes, a tunic, a pair of breeches and some rough-looking shoes.

“Aah, Sir Albert! You are my savior, allowing me respite like this!”

“Ahh, nice try, but your friend over there’s the one that dragged your sorry butt all the way here.” He lowered one of the bowls toward the bed as he approached. “Here.”

“Oh?” The lizard reached up and carefully took the bowl, noting the weight behind it. He lowered it to his lap and found...a thick, hearty broth with just about everything in it. Corn, potato, some greens, bits of what he assumed to be chicken or beef...a bit of a hunter’s stew.

“Figured since you’re unwell, a bit of soup would help you get back on your feet.”

“Gah, you house AND feed me? You spoil me, good sir.”

Albert lowered the other bowl towards Mepin, who eagerly snatched it up without a second word. “Now, now. It took a lot of work to make peace between our villages. Wouldn’t want to tarnish that now, would we?”

“Ah, prudent. Still...I must give my humble thanks, and insist I repay your hospitality.”

Albert shrugged. “Well...promise you’d do the same for me. How about that?”

“That is a most suitable agreement. I would never turn my back on a friend...as they would not to do me either.”

He turned to Mepin, his expression softening. A smile crept over his face, and he could feel...something. A deep respect, a kinship. The other kobold smiled back at him.

“Mepin, my friend...thank you. You have saved my life, I have no reservations in saying that. I was in the gravest sort of peril.”

“You were only in danger ‘cause you saved me first!” Mepin insisted, “That’s just what friends do!”

“Hmm...indeed. Trust is a most valuable thing to have. I believe we’ve all learned something from this. Still...thank you, Mepin. You are a very good friend.”

“You’re a great friend too!” the other returned quickly, still grinning.

Albert gestured towards the two. “Hey, I put a lotta work into whipping that up for you two, you know!”

“Ah, of course! Forgive my rudeness. Allow me to sample your cuisine…”

Alpa slowly lifted the bowl to his mouth, and gently tilted it upwards. As the soup filled his mouth, he could only describe it as...soothing. It was salty and sweet, tender and tasty. From vegetables to meat, the flavors all melded into a rather pleasing concoction within the soup base. As he swallowed it after a bit of chewing, he could feel the heat radiating within him. So warm...so soothing.

“Well?”

“Mmm...marvelous. This is why I love coming to Greenroot...you people certainly know how to make some outstanding meals.”

“Gah, go on...thank you, though. Hope it helps.

It was already helping. The warm, soothing soup seemed to be melting his aches and pains away...though that could have just been a placebo. Still, it made everything just a bit more bearable. He leaned back and took another big gulp...then another, and another.

“Aah...I cannot thank you enough. Mmm...”

“Don’t worry about it...only thing you need to worry about it getting better.”

“Agh, mmm...w-well, but the tribe…”

“Leave it to the professionals. I’m sure those paladins have got it under control. You couldn’t help much until you rested up anyway.”

That was true. He struggled to sit up...he doubted he could just up and walk out...besides, he’d have to stop having this soup…

A loud splash brought both the kobold and the human to turn towards Mepin. The other kobold was guzzling the soup down, tipping the bowl far too high and spilling a large about of broth both on himself and on the floor.

“Gah, Mepin, you fool!”

He blinked, lowering the bowl. “Huh? What?”

“The soup! You’ve spilled it all over!” Alba pointed at the floor, arm still sore.

The kobold looked down and then back up rapidly, comprehension dawning on him.

“O-oh, oh no! I-I didn’t mean to…”

“Forgive him,” Alpa said, “He struggles with what is...socially acceptable in your culture.”

Albert merely grumbled under his breath in response.

“I assure you,” Alpa continued, “He was being MOST polite in our ways. Displaying his eagerness for your fine cooking, you see.”

“I-it was just so good...I couldn’t help myself! I’m sorry,” Mepin said guiltily, eyes turned to the side.

“Eh...it’s fine...hope you’re willing to help clean up, though.”

“Of course!” Mepin cried, “Right away!”

“Very well. Let’s fetch the water.” As Albert left with Mepin to start cleaning up the mess, he turned and gave Alpa a serious look.

“Just get some rest. Tossin’ and turnin’ isn’t going to do you any good. The sooner you recover, the sooner you can check on your friends.”

“Right…” Alpa mumbled back. Albert gave him a smile and a nod before stepping out of the room.

He tried, he really did. He lay back down and closed his eyes, but...he shifted in the bed. He rustled the covers. His tail thrashed of its own volition.

He couldn’t stop thinking. Were they okay? Did the soldiers find their cave? Would the paladins really save the day somehow?

These thoughts and more troubled his mind, preventing sleep. As he lay there, he tried to imagine it. Those two warriors, off to try and do something. He could picture them in his head, heading into the forest...who were they? What were they doing right now? At this very moment, as he lay in bed, those two were marching headfirst into a most unusual situation...and they had a most unusual plan of how to handle it.

Tag list: @thereisnothingwrongwithbeingmad, @lady-redshield-writes, @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword, @sheralynnramsey, @tawnywrites, @writer-on-time, @oceanwriter, @zwergis-spilledink, @fluffpiggy, @elliewritesfantasy, @homesteadhorner, @laurenwastestimewriting, @elaynab-writing, @the-ichor-of-ruination, @reya-writes

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confusionwithak · 3 years

Text

What now?

So we're mostly caught up to the present now. I've felt much better and more like myself the past week or so. I am also mostly healed from my surgery, and will return to playing soccer tonight, which I am excited about.

This post will be a bunch of jumbled thoughts.

The first thought is that it feels a lot like I love K. I know that's not really true. I don't know her well at all. But I think I allowed myself to fantasize so much that I fell in love with an idealized version of her. I think this is why going cold turkey has helped me quite a bit. The less I think about her, the less this made-up person is around.

Chances are that I would not like K very much. I generally do not like younger people. I also generally do not like people that are overly concerned with their appearance (yes, I realize the irony here.) And while she is naturally beautiful, she is also clearly very aware of and concerned with her appearance. I suppose I'm insinuating that she is shallow, which is unfair. After all, I'm rather concerned about my appearance right now too...

Another thought is why this whole situation affected me so much. Yes, part of it is that the fantasy didn't work out. But that was a given. I think the rejection hurt more because of my past.

Growing up, I was not very popular. I was nerdy and different, and overweight and unattractive. I didn't really have any serious relationships in high school or college. Unsurprisingly, my self confidence was pretty poor until college. After college, I started finding that being smart and nerdy was not always a downside. In graduate school, I discovered that by watching what I ate, I could lose a lot of weight. I lost about 60-70 lbs. Around that time, I also became a lot more interested in fitness, and put on some muscle. So for the first time in my life, at around 30 years old, I really started to feel somewhat attractive. Given that I have a good job, etc, I've also felt like I have my shit together. I feel like I'm a catch.

And when I felt rejected, it was really like being transported in time back to high school. My self confidence crumbled like it was built on a stack of cards. Maybe it was because my obsessive personality latched on to K as a problem to be solved. K wants nothing to do with me; why? I'll never know. So maybe the only way out is to conclude there's something wrong with me. So I went back to the high school playbook? I don't know.

I have noticed that I've been a lot more interested in younger women after K. It's not that I am particularly attracted to them -- my affinity for K seems to be a one time thing. But I think I want to be desired by them. I want external validation that I'm not "too old" or whatever. Again, not great. Hopefully as I continue to feel better I won't need to look for this validation.

And the final question I've been wondering is am I happy? If you asked me a few months ago, I would have said yes. And now, I'm not sure anymore. I certainly feel very lonely at the moment. And I feel like I have a void. But how much of this is just hormones? Yes, dating and what not is exciting, but at some point everyone has to settle down. I was already there, and I thought I was happy. Was I right?

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buddha-in-disguise · 4 years

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Will this ever end?

Well I woke up to a shitstorm on Twitter and the Supergirl fandom, with David Harewood.

I can't say exactly what was said to cause David to post what he did as I haven't seen posts he might have done - but his subsequent reactions have unfortunately merely seemed to have exacerbated the issue and inflamed it.

My thoughts though before I go further into this. Also remember these are my own thoughts, I don't expect everyone to agree with me. However I hope I can make some kind of sense with what I'm trying to write down here.

Supergirl this season has one character I'm finding hard to relate to. This has absolutely nothing to do with potential storylines and relationship possibilty, but everything to do with what they have tried to do with William Dey as a whole.

I get the reason he came along in regards Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made some sense.

What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer.

They have a Superhero who is also a journalist right there!

Right. There.

Personally this simply makes no sense to me. Plus if I am being honest, William as a character is bringing nothing to the table for me. He feels more like a token male character because James has left.

That brings me to Dansen. While we had some scenes before Crisis, considering at SDCC we were being told how Dansen would strengthen after those events, again we have seen seconds worth of screen time of Kelly, let alone the lack of Dansen.

We accept it isn't the Dansen show and this isn't about that, but again it feels as if it is being pushed way into the background & Kelly is being underutilised. She works for Obsidian North, yet was nowhere to be seen at the launch of the new tech. Sure, it isn't her area of expertise within the company, but you would expect senior employees to have been at such an important launch.

Plus, she is ex-military, but again nothing has been utilised about that part of her character.

The problems with both these issues is these characters are LGBTQ rep on the show. Representation that is already severely underrepresented on TV. Even allowing for the LGBTQ rep on SG (which is above average), it is still well below the ratio percentages that GLAAD show as being the main demographic of viewers.

So LGBTQ fans also look at non-canon representation as well. They have to, because LGBTQ on screen numbers simply don't reflect what the viewer numbers are. I made a post about it to try & highlight this, which I will link to.

But needless to say, LGBTQ fans also generally have difficulties that a lot of people don't have to face.

This brings me back to David and his lack of understanding that many fans were (looking through the comments), trying to explain to him. That criticism wasn't aimed at him per se (at least that I saw), or his directing or acting of that episode. If criticism was aimed at him, that was and is wrong.

The main criticism I saw was being aimed about elements that the writers and producers had done (Winn's wife being another aspect that was problematic). It was unfortunate that it has coincided with David's directorial episode.

Look, David can direct an episode wonderfully, it can have some great aspects to it, but it can also be highly problematic to some fans, & receive valid criticism for it.

For example, the latest episode of Batwoman. The Alice/Beth story was great. The acting superb. What I found worrying was the way they made Sophie feel guilty for legitimate reasons why she had led a closeted lifestyle. That lifestyle is valid, for Sophie and many LGBTQ people, and for good reason, including keeping some people safe from harm. I felt it was a clumsy attempt for Alice to get into Sophie's mind; it could've been tackled other ways, so it felt wrong they used her sexuality as a way to achieve that. Being closeted for many literally keeps them alive. So that was one hell of a poor choice in my opinion. So, great episode, valid criticism.

I personally find it sad that David hasn't seemed to understand this. Especially considering he only recently tweeted about the lack of diversity on TV for black actors. His argument there applies to what the LGBTQ audience have been trying to explain so many times, both with Supergirl and beyond that.

Except for LGBTQ it goes further, as not only are there LGBTQ, there is further intersectionality that runs through us as a group.

So for example, Kelly is LGBTQ, but Black. She is also a woman. All areas that struggle in their own sphere and marginalised in their own right. Added together, and it makes her representation even more important.

Nia Nal is Transgender. And a woman. Also two areas of intersectionality. If we don't listen to all marginalised people, especially when that intersectionality comes into play, we fail.

David is Black.

But also heterosexual, and male, and honestly, seeing his reaction I felt the heterosexual male with no understanding what the LGBTQ audience was trying to explain come through far more than I imagined I would.

Now of course, it could be David had no intention of coming across in that way. Yet the way he liked certain posts also felt as a complete dismissal of the LGBTQ community as a whole. It felt like the reactions from SDCC 2017 all over again.

Without a doubt some fans were taking it too far. I get that. I don't know how often I have written about fandoms and the way some can behave. However, if David is putting everyone in a fandom as all being problematic (as his liking of Tweets seem to suggest), then that is a very poor take indeed by him, and one I hope he considers.

By taking those steps, he has angered some fans more than was necessary in my view. Like Staz the other day, I know we are all human and sometimes react emotionally. Unlike Staz, who tried to clarify his words and apologised for any upset he might've caused, David seems to have gone the other way and doubled down against fans, blocking even respectful tweets to him that were trying to explain a point of view.

Now before anyone thinks I am hating on David, I'm not. I have supported much of his work.

I am though disappointed that for someone who is marginalised himself, has had mental health struggles, he has seemingly failed to understand that LGBTQ are just as marginalised (if not more so) than he is, & that because of the issues LGBTQ people face, mental health problems are extremely high versus the general population. That some of his wording and liking of tweets have felt like a complete slap in the face for many, who have legitimate concerns about Supergirl at the moment.

As I say, I get some fans take it too far, in all areas of the Supergirl fandom. Outright hate towards anyone is absolutely unacceptable. I also understand that we all react at times that is instinctual because we feel hurt, and that reaction is not as good as it could be.

I just hope that rather than it implode more on us, that everyone takes a step back to try and calm down.

As for the issues of queerbaiting that has risen as a result of the teaser for the next episode of SG. Supergirl in earlier episodes of the season, used parallels to show Lena and Kara alongside canon relationships on the show. To then have other people call fans delusional for seeing those scenes as romantically formulated is not okay! It really isn't. That's hateful, because like it or not, those elements are there.

When I have people who don't watch the show asking if Lena and Kara are together because of clips they might see (straight people at that), that isn't delusional.

But, that isn't an issue the cast should address or make judgement on, or fans to insist they do.

It should though be something asked of the producers and showrunners, because if they have no plans to go through with it - it has been outright queerbaiting this season. Up until this year, they've not done things with notable intent to parallel other relationships. This season they have. The shift felt deliberate.

I know ultimately that this show is about Supergirl, but it is also about those around her as family & friends. I understand there are only so many minutes in one episode. What I don't understand is why those precious minutes are going to a character, when they have one perfectly placed to do the same role. Why they have to potentially explore another relationship, when we have one canon relationship & one relationship that while isn't canon in terms of romantic, it is a big story in terms of best friends, both seemingly sidelined. Which brings me to the Kara fighting for Lena's soul aspect. Again, I am not seeing a lot of fighting for anything, except more and more fans fighting themselves and cast.

I get that as more characters are added to a show, it can make shuffling screen time for those already established characters harder to achieve that will please everyone, especially when we get invested in those characters.

That is causing confusion for fans, that is also beginning to become frustration. That frustration is spilling over. Add in the genuine and legitimate concerns over the LGBTQ issues that have arisen, and the frustration has built even more.

Again though, that is something we need to be asking of the producers and show runners, and not pulling the cast into it.

Let's all try less to score points against each other, or make generalisations, as none of that is helpful.

If you can't do that, you will get other fans calling you out.

Let's all learn to step away a bit more when it is obviously getting to the point rational discussion isn't working, to let things calm down.

We all need to try and do better.

#supergirl #davidharewood #supercorp #lgbtq representation

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