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khaire-traveler · 4 months

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I don't want to be disrespectful but I'm feeling conflicted working with Hermes sometimes.

He's always been kind to me. I'm very grateful for that.

He has encouraged my passion for helping others especially the homeless and disabled. It's just so much discourse around me is telling me he's evil or at the very least dishonorable because he's apathetic and a trickster/thief. That he's only in my life because I'm amusing or easy to manipulate.

Gods aren't human and they're complicated. I just sometimes feel alone in my appreciation of him. I feel like I have to give up when it comes to talking about him around anybody else. Have you ever felt like this before in your practice? Thank you for listening.

***Please read this knowing I had good intentions and my tone is meant to be kind, respectful, and serious. I say this now because this feels like it may be a sensitive topic, and I don't want you to interpret this as me trying to be critical, rude, mean, etc. I promise I am not upset at you, Nonny. I know this was probably difficult for you to share.***

Hey, Nonny, thank you for entrusting me with this topic.

Honestly, I haven't seen any discourse about worshipping Hermes (keep in mind that this is the only social media, besides YouTube, that I use), but what you're describing sounds very similar to the discourse around worshipping Loki (I am a devotee of them as well). If you don't know about the discourse around Loki, I actually encourage you to look into it because it's a good example of how people will literally criticize a deity to hell and back, especially for things they did in myths or based on a person's random UPG.

The thing is, Nonny, that there is nuance in everything. Nothing is ever so neatly black and white or good and bad; there are always layers. Hermes is a god of thievery, yes, but have you considered that some people steal because they literally have no other access to basic needs, such as food or medication? Hermes is a trickster god, but have you considered that maybe it contributes to his love of laughter and fun? That in order to have a good time, sometimes you need to be witty and a bit chaotic? Being a god over these things is the same as Zeus being a god of storms: these things will happen passively, and it doesn't have to mean that god is making or causing something to happen. Just because someone gets their wallet stolen doesn't mean that Hermes was behind it. I guess it's kind of the idea that correlation does not equal causation.

About Hermes being apathetic, though, that's an absolutely ridiculous claim if I've ever heard one. In the myths, who tended to come to people's aid the most, unprompted? Hermes. Who has the epithet of joy-giver, ready-helper, and luck-bringer? Hermes. Who did some ancient shepherds pray to when their herds (their livelihood) were attacked, ancient beggars struggling to survive on the streets, ancient travelers who were terrified and lost their way? Hermes. Hermes is MUCH more than just a god of trickery and thievery. He is a god of the people. He genuinely cares about his worshippers, which literally every worshipper has told me that I've interacted with, and he takes good care of his devotees. I encourage you to research Hermes further and read about how he was worshipped in ancient times. Try to better understand who he is as a god; the view of him you're describing to me comes across as being rather black and white and disregards all of his other domains and aspects.

You need to know, Nonny, that I am someone who believes that the gods can and do love us. I believe that they can and do support us. I also believe they can and do make mistakes or upset us sometimes, but that doesn't make them (or us) evil, bad, or wrong. I believe that Hermes loves me and all his worshippers (and even others who don't actively worship him, I bet), but that's just my belief, similar to how these people talking about random Hermes discourse are simply expressing their beliefs. Remember, Nonny, that these people's beliefs are not facts. They do not dictate your life or your world view or your relationship with Hermes. Only you can decide how those things look for you. So I ask you, what do you believe? What do you believe is true about Hermes? What has he shown and expressed to you personally? How has he treated you? What has he helped you with? What has he done for you? Do you feel happy worshipping him? This is something that you need to settle within yourself. No one but you can give you the answer you're searching for.

Maybe it would also help for you to look into any potential religious or personal trauma you have and see if that is also affecting your relationship with Hermes. I did this a while back, and it was immensely helpful for me personally. I can't say that I ever viewed Hermes as being evil or anything like that, but I did have some trauma that was making me anxious about spirituality and worship in general. I recommend looking into anything that you may be dealing with as well.

If you feel something is not right within your personal relationship with Hermes, that's something you need to directly communicate with him about. Get his opinions, his insight, and even his advice, if you want it. I think it'd really help you to speak with him as directly as you can about this topic. And you know, if you are really having a hard time worshipping this god, then maybe it just isn't meant to work for now, and that's perfectly ok. It's normal not to get along or click with every deity ever. There are some deities I personally don't worship simply because I don't feel we click well, and that's ok. It's the same as how some humans just don't mix with each other well; you simply go your separate ways and continue on.

When it comes to being alone while worshipping Hermes in the community, I do understand how you feel, but to combat those feelings of loneliness, I try to actively surround myself with other blogs and people who worship or venerate Hermes. There are actually quite a lot of blogs on Tumblr that worship him; it's simply a matter of seeking them out intentionally. I don't know how it is on other social media, however. If you use TikTok (specifically PaganTok), I would actually straight-up encourage you to not. Not for spiritual stuff, anyway. People spread misinformation there like a fucking wildfire, and you will find an overabundance of hatred and ignorance in all its forms. I deleted TikTok specifically because of PaganTok, and it was literally the best choice I've ever made for myself. I encourage you to do the same if that is the issue for you.

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck on your journey ahead. I hope this answer helped you in some way. Regardless of what happens with Hermes, I hope you find deities you worship that blend well with you and help you grow as a person. Remember that you are never required to worship a deity if they make you uncomfortable. I feel that's just important to say in general. Gods will be respectful of the fact that you're not, or no longer, interested. They're thousands upon thousands of years old; they have the maturity to accept your rejection respectfully.

No matter what happens, Nonny, you will be ok. Please take care, and have a good day/night. 🧡

#anon asks #answered asks #hermes deity

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theexecutionerstoolkit · 11 months

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Channel of Vibe

The Luck you Makes

What if luck was a product of the quality of our relationships? All of them. The good and the bad? What if how well we did in life was a reflection on how well we were doing in our relationships? Or possibly even a result of how well we managed our relationships? Be nice to people and nice things happen to you? It sounds logical but is it a stretch? Is there correlation? Is there causation?

I have this very deluded belief that luck, or my luck, is in fact a mystical third force, something almost metaphysical in my life. Which while waxing and waning remains a constant underlying influence. It comes and goes, yet it remains. I believe it’s something that depletes but can also potentially grow to provide that smooth sailing through life I can only imagine. I believe it can be overused or over relied on. And I believe it’s something I have to be careful not to exhaust. I also believe it needs tending and maintenance. But how to do that is something I don’t really have any clear science for. I only know that if it seems my luck is a bit down then I need to give it a rest and to allow it to grow back again. What does that mean? I take less chances. I’m more careful when planning. I don’t rely so much on things just working out. So there you have it. Superstition.

What we all do know is that at the most basic level there is indeed a connection between the quality of our relationships with other people and the quality of our lives. As the cliche goes: we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. They also say we should cut any negative people out of our life completely and only surround ourselves with the super positive. That way we can drive our lives forward with a constant and incandescent circle of positivity. Creating a virtuous cycle of perpetual positive lift. The upper ups so loved by Schulz's Lucy.

I want that too. More luck, More upper ups. Yet, I live a very ordinary life, with its ups and downs, surrounded by people who, thank god, are mostly as ordinary as I am. Generally positive but occasionally having some negative moments. I wonder if that might be the same for you? Things do happen. Getting out of bed on the wrong side, meeting someone impatient on the way to work. That deadline you are under pressure to deliver to. Meeting one of those negative people you thought you were done with. But, for the most part it’s all good-ish.

It’s established that optimists generally do better in life than pessimists. Not due to any hypothetical secret ingredient or mythical third force fantasy (As much as I might wish that to be true), but rather that optimists, being of a more positive outlook, are more inclined to recognise and take opportunities when they find them. Whereas pessimists are the opposite. They try less, they get less. They're less disappointed? Actually, disappointment has already been baked in. Life meeting expectations? Yet neither the optimist nor the pessimist are inherently more or less lucky than the other. If that’s what you might be thinking. There it is though. A type of luck we can influence. What can we do to foster a more optimistic attitude? As we go through our day interacting with life? As we send out those varying responses of happiness, of gratitude, or resentment? But, being the selfish creatures we are, mostly of indifference, too wrapped up in the minutia of our own lives to realise we too are an influence on the lives around us. All those everyday variations of emotions and responses in turn creates the sea in which our optimism/luck swims. Possibly as that mythical third entity. We could take those interactions for granted and just carry on, but sticking to the same formula is not going to change things. The way we deal with, relate to, or work on our interactions with others will either improve or degrade the luck we are having. In both a direct and indirect manner. Maybe that's not something we should leave to chance? Maybe we shouldn’t just leave luck to luck? It’s all too easy to take those around us for granted, to make assumptions that progress to petty resentments, that in turn create a feedback loop that corrodes away at our positivity. In turn switching our awareness away from the good towards the negative. And that is a vicious cycle.

There is no stasis or equilibrium. If you do nothing differently, then things slowly fail. If we are not at least gently rising we are falling.

In the end, the practice of being just a bit more positive and encouraging to those around us means the world reflects back on us just a bit better. Which in turn lifts our levels of positivity and optimism. Upper ups? “Lucy, I have the answer!” Just as with the practice of gratitude and the fostering of a sense of abundance, this is an area that requires us to do the same with repeated acts of positive encouragement. Not just to those closest to us but to everyone we are in contact with. If we are to build a world, a path, a channel of vibe, to transport us to better places in our very ordinary lives then little things done repeatedly and constantly build the environment in which we live. So while it’s good to surround ourselves with positive people, it’s better for us to work on providing a positive experience for others.

#The Executioner's Toolkit #Channel Of Vibe #The Luck you Make

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janusofguardia · 1 year

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🧶 for Cyrus and 🎱 for Janus

🧶- How laid back is your muse? What one thing can really make them angry?

On a scale of "super chill" to "super uptight", Cyrus would be somewhere in the center but leaning towards uptight. He can be relaxed, but does hold a lot of respect for authority figures and expects others to do so as well (it's why Janus ticks him off a lot).

He also places a lot of importance on the values a knight is supposed to embody such as honor, chivalry, service, loyalty, bravery, and all that.

So I think something that would really make him angry (not just "ticked off cus Janus is being rude to the nobles" but GENUINELY angry) is betrayal, desertion, or if a knight acts in a way that isn't befitting of them (abuse of power, etc). Insulting the King or Queen is also another way to set him off.

🎱- Is your muse superstitious? Do they have any rituals around it?

Ooh thanks for asking this one!

Let's define superstition. According to Google, it's "a widely held but unjustified belief in supernatural causation leading to certain consequences of an action or event, or a practice based on such a belief"

Does Janus have unjustified beliefs in supernatural causation leading to certain events, or practice things based on these beliefs? No.

Do people think he does? Yes.

Janus is a practical and naturally sketpical person. Yes he does magic, but see that's the thing, to him, his magic is something tangible and logical. So he won't nail a horseshoe to his door unless he sees evidence that it brings good luck.

A big part of Janus in this AU is that people tend to get the wrong idea about him (or "so close but not quite"). When he hears the Black Winds howling, it's something very real to him that he can sense and has proven before to be the sign death is nearby. But other people don't know that, so when he does this:

People tend to think think he's 1) kinda creepy 2) being irrational/they don't believe cus it sounds so out there or 3) they believe in his "clairvoyance" which yes involved magic but is also a lot more rational than they think, if that makes sense.

#asks #ksera-sera #thank you for the ask!!#another example of the superstition thing is if Janus has a lucky charm that uses a certain stone #and people think it's just superstition bcus how can a stone bring luck #but to Janus it's not superstition because the stone DOES bring luck he can sense it (or put a spell on it to make it lucky)#it can also happen the other way around #people think this lucky charm is lucky and he's like lmao how no it's not

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suchsaccharine · 11 months

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3:40am 5/24/23

I NEED TO

Eventually talk about it with him.

But first I need to hash it all out with myself first. Things are hard with jj right now, this 8 yr old attitude, so many days I think ‘if I never saw another kid again, it’d be too soon.’ But I need to work out within myself if that’s truly how I feel or not.

I feel sadness and longing and desire and more longing…for a baby, duh. And I make notes to journal ab it, and I later read the note and say to myself “I was just in my feelings, i don’t want a baby or another kid rn, I don’t need to analyze this”

But okay even if that is so, these are my feelings that I am in, yes? Okay so…I need to be deep and real and true w myself. This entire icky topic that I don’t want to name needs to be fully explored. I’m honestly afraid of doing that though because I am afraid of developing the intense-overwhelming feelings I had in 2020-21 about this.. that was so scary. Because it felt like something that would be a bottomless pit of sorrow. It took me by the throat. I thought about kms even…..like when I first found out, the impulse was heavy. Z never brings it up. I’m partly afraid he would be like “you are having such a hard time raising JJ, why are you even considering ALL THAT to have another kid that you will struggle with?” And to be honest. I don’t know. I guess that’s the other thing. I’m afraid of getting myself all invested during the process of analyzing my mind, only to come to the conclusion in the end that I won’t be a good mom a second time and then I’m have to come back around to ‘giving up’. Yay. Hooray. I don’t want to go through all of that. Do you? I’m afraid he’s afraid to talk to me about it because of how emotional I tend to get. I’m afraid he doesn’t talk about it because he doesn’t want to do it. You know I haven’t asked him and have been justifying it by telling myself that the dream I had was his true feelings. (The dream was him facing me with a table between us and he pounds one side of a fist down on the table like BANG and he’s almost yelling, maybe he is. And he says “YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT. I SAID WHEN WE FIRST GOT TOGETHER THAT I DIDNT WANT KIDS.” And it was so LOUD, like the memory of the dream was. It was so vivid. So I told myself that was a ‘vision’ and that’s my answer and if I go bugging him irl, that’s ultimately what the true answer is for him. I’m just so scared. I’ve been having a bpd breakdown like no other tho lately so we should def not talk ab it rn.

5/24/23

I went to sleep for a couple hours and then took julian to school, came back to bed and finally opened Reddit and read more from the IVF boards.

I feel like that’s so out of reach for me. Mostly because of how stressful everything is anyway. But Jesus FUCK 😡😡😡

Yeah I’m wanting to back and read about IVF but I’m also scared of the sadness. I suppose I better get back on my meds. This is not good rn.

I’m reading Reddit before work lol. I put a klonopin in my mouth bc I am just that same live wire that I was the past few days. Gosh. I want to take my Effexor but not at work. Maybe when I get off work. Yeah.

Anyway I’m on r/endometriosis and I’m like….I’m gonna cry dude I just need to know what is wrong with me. What is wrong with my body? I just need to know why. Why did this happen to me when I finally had a chance of having a baby with a good partner who loves me and my 8 yr old. And I don’t know what exactly I did, but I feel like it’s my fault somehow and I just need to know which causation I need to be blaming lol. Which version of me is responsible for my infertility and how? Is that a good reason to find out? Just to know? When I’m already hating on myself.. I don’t know. But I do like have a drive to know what exactly is causing this so that I can look at possible treatments and probable solutions. Or not. It could help me make a final decision the other way, too. I mean, it could. You never know what you’re gonna hear next. Especially in dark hallways like this. When you’re already in uncharted (…..lol) territory and feel like your are grabbing around for a life vest while you are also freaking blind. Like…come the fuck on 🤣 “be so fr rn” hah

I’m bout to fuckin cry..

#infertility #laproscopy #endometriosis #fallopiantubeblockage #blocked fallopian tubes #unexplained #but why #ivf treatment #fertility #bpd vent #eedee #college #parenting #communication

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baeddel · 2 years

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what are your criticisms of privilege theory?

fuzzy. misplace of focus. excites the wrong moods in the listener. and lacks explanatory power for the most pressing questions. in order,

it's fuzzy when it fails to distinguish abstract from particular. you'll say this: all white people benefit from white supremacy. back when these apologetics were common you'd put a lot of emphasis on the all, the way all of us are equally implicated and therefore bear a like responsibility. but the other guy will say, how do all white people benefit from white supremacy? and you'll start to talk about odds and averages, about 16th century legal codes (and their vague legacy), and so on, and you're still hovering around in the abstract, the disparity between how likely you are to encounter some kind of event, for example, incarceration, or about general features of society, like certain laws, which may never come up for an individual person. so you're staying on this level of abstract reason and you can't explain why those statistical regularities matter, what conditions white people's actions qua their whiteness, or even, how any given situation in a white person's life can be explained by their whiteness. the invisible knapsack can never be opened and its contents can never be examined. this is an old problem. [the following anecdote is so misremembered it might as well be a parable i came up with; i correct myself here] there's this recording of a 'struggle session' with the Black Panthers and a group of white American organizers, as i remember from poor rural backgrounds, and an argument breaks out between one Panther and one of the white men when the Panther remarks that the police 'exist to protect you' (or something similar), and the white man gets offended and says they sure aren't protecting him, because he's out there getting beaten by them and so on. the Panther is speaking abstractly, about an abstract white man, and this white man is talking about his own experience as a particular white man, so they will always talk past one another and that's what they did the rest of the session.

i am still 'on' this problem. you know how it is with me; i was tormented enough by internet arguments ten years ago to turn them into lifelong research priorities. early last year i made the above argument at length (in a long, demented, unpublished response to another anon, which was supposed to gradually transform into t4t smut, but it was abandoned in the second act due to theroetical blunders). i attempted to make my own account in 2019 here (pg 6-13; a similarly long, rambunctuous and abandoned piece of writing), engaing mainly with Maria Lugones, Nick Land and Achille Mbembe. since then i’ve read a lot of Marx and a bit of Hegel and now when i talk about it i tend to go on and on about ‘reflection’ and ‘grounding’ (eg. last december’s futapost, pg 2). i’m currently reading that book on the early modern causation debate for related reasons. something that was an influence on me was the discussion in Barnor Hesse’s preface to Conceptual Aphasia in Black (2016) about Alain Locke’s definition of race as a “social inheritance.”

it has a misplace of focus because it starts by trying to explain the benefits a white, male or cis subject can count on, which limits its scope to directly productive relations of exploitation, which in many cases either don’t exist or are not central to the oppressive relations under discussion. i make this point at length in this early 2021 post with respect to transmisogyny. Wilderson makes the point with respect to antiblackness in Gramsci’s Black Marx (2003). but so does Frére Dupont, Giorgio Agamben, Moishe Postone, Orlando Patterson, Jean Baudrillard, Michel Foucault, Gilles Deleuze & Felix Guattari, Jacques Camatte, Georges Bataille . . . in other words, privilege theory can’t interact with very much serious work on oppression and marginalization because they usually will proceed from an incompatible premise, that being, not all coercive social relations worth talking about are directly productive ones. a lot of the time privilege theory will count as privileges things like ‘i will never be followed around in a grocery store by a white person who thinks i’m going to shoplift’ (hastening to add for being black incase it does happen for some contingent reason, like being a stranger in a small-minded one horse town, which is ofcourse concretely possible if abstractly unlikely), such that a privilege can amount to a privation of oppression, which is an extremely unusual way to talk about any subject and is obviously an artefact of having an inexact premise.

it excites the wrong moods in the listener because it makes them feel ashamed, defensive, apologetic, self-conscious, ultimately self-centered and narcissistic, and it rewards race faking. your intersubjective task is to escape self-alienating consciousness, and, failing that, comfort, empower, inspire and mobilize. you should proceed from the knowledge that all men are ruled by rackets, “the rackets of clerics, of the royal court, of the propertied, of the race, of men, of adults, of families, of the police, of crime” (Max Horkheimer, Die Rackets und der Geist), and as a revolutionary your task is to make them feel safe, comfortable and articulate enough to escape theirs. to move their insular, sectional, beseiged subjectivity to something intersectoral, intersectional, and autonomous. no one needs to learn to sit down and listen, but to stand up and shout.

and finally it lacks explanatory power for the most pressing questions. that is to say, it cannot tell you what to do when your beloved comrades in the army of the oppressed defect to the Portugese side in exchange for promises of wealth and property, as did Amilcar Cabral’s, before he was assassinated and the revolution in Guinea defeated.

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platonic-prompts · 3 years

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Abuse

Okay, despite me having info posts on various things, this isn’t really going to be one. This is actually going to be...more of hypothetical situation for your characters.

But before I get into this, remember some things that may seem like abuse (with some very obvious exceptions) might not be seen the same way by others. For instance, my mother threw a cookbook at me once. And a phonebook another time. To me? Completely fine. So were a lot of other things that happened like my mom locking me outside the house in winter. Sure I was cold, but she’d let me back after a few minutes.

Not to say she did no wrong, she exposed me to an emotionally abusive household for several years. And in case you missed the title is something I wanted to touch on.

You see...I didn’t know what happened there was emotional abuse. I was doing a paper for a college course and the professor looked at me and said, this was emotional abuse. And I’m like huh.

So say your character was in a household like that, they don’t realize that alot of the stuff going on was seriously fucked up. (Who sits there and doesn’t even scold a kid who just threatened to murder your girlfriend and her kid?).

Also when it comes to portraying abuse of any kind, don’t throw it in there just to have it, or, in fanfiction, don’t make a character abusive based off of one interaction you see. Just...don’t do that. I mean it’s nice to see some people putting the issue of abuse out there, but a lot of times it looks like they took the most stereotypical depiction of abuse and ran with it. And a lot of times I’ve seen people do only the extreme violence without any other things that tend to accompany it. Even with emotional abuse I was constantly told I was making things up and that it wasn’t that bad. I get that every situation isn’t the same, but belittling or even flat out denying the circumstances is a common characteristic for an abuser.

In a lot of the fics I’ve read where someone makes Inko physically abusive, they usually (read almost always) fall onto this reasoning. Inko blames Izuku for her husband leaving, Therefore she beats him. And sometimes they’ve had her drunk while doing this and...Inko doesn’t care that she beat her son up when she was too drunk to remember what happened? I could believe it more if she were to frantically apologize and then promise it would never happen again. Only for it to happen again. And sometimes abusers can be nice to the victims between episodes of violence.

This applies to the emotional abuse too by the way, I remember playing games with the boys in between the threats of murder,

Long story short, don’t trivialize abuse, don’t put abuse in because you need the character to have a ‘tragic backstory’, and if you do portray it see if you can find resources on the warning signs and red flags of abusers. And remember that just because someone has things that could potentially show them as abuse victims, it doesn’t mean they are. Correlation does not equal causation or something. Rude loud child, loud abrasive parent does not equal abuse. Sometimes behavior is just genetic. I act a lot like my dad and I’ve been raised in a vastly different environment than him and I’ve only spent maybe 24 hours around him.

I don’t know if any of this makes senes. I’m very tired, very stressed, and my brain basically said heeeeeeey you want to write something totally cool and fun and vaguely informative?

Anyway, I hoped this helped someone, I need to get to bed and sleep so i can get up early and walk 2 miles tomorrow and then write an essay.

#info post #it wasn't meant to be this long tbh #it was supposed to be #hey guys fun fact sometimes don't recognize that theyve been abused crazy right #not a prompt #not an info post more like definetly and info post #tw abuse

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jungledubs-archive · 3 years

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more golden incorrect quotes featuring characters that haven’t even shown up yet

Pendrick: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Nedd: You need to stop.

Nedd: How do I deal with my enemies? Pendrick: Kill them Nedd: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution Pendrick: Kill them only a little?

Nedd: How petty can you get? Pendrick: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Nedd, tending to Pendrick's wounds: How would you rate your pain? Pendrick: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Jamie: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Sam: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Jamie, desperately, as Sam bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Sam: Oh! B positive. Jamie: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Sam:

Jamie: So that’s my plan. Sam: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean. Jamie: No, go ahead, I want to hear it. Sam: It fucking sucks. Jamie: That’s not constructive criticism.

Jamie: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Sam: Killed without hesitation. Jamie: No.

Max: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Rox? Rox: … No. Kal: I do! Max: I know, Kal. Kal: I’m sad! Max: I know, Kal.

Max: WHY. why did you give Kal a KNIFE?! Rox: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe. Max: Now I feel unsafe! Rox: I’m sorry. Rox: ... would you like a knife?

Max: Kal, can I talk to you for a second? Kal: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Rox are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Max: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

Sam: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three- Sam and Corsair, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks! Ash: Our turn, Lex! One, two, three- vanilla! Lex, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Sam: Have you seen a person named 'Corsair' around here? Ash: Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain. Lex: It looks fine to me? Ash: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

Sam, setting down a card: Ace of spades Corsair, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Ash, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Lex, trembling: What are we playing

Cyrus: Pyotr... Pyotr: Oh no, 'Pyotr' in b-flat. Pyotr: You're disappointed.

Cyrus: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things. *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Pyotr: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

Cyrus: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something. Pyotr: Cyrus, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Colt: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

Raymond: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. Hugo: What if it bites me and it dies!? Ezi: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Hugo, learn to listen. Major: What if it bites itself and I die? Amanda: That’s voodoo. Meg: What if it bites me and someone else dies? Hugo: That’s correlation, not causation. Major: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? Amanda: That’s kinky. Raymond: Oh my God.

Raymond: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? Hugo: >:O language Ezi: Yeah watch your fucking language Major: OKAY WHO TAUGHT EZI THE FUCK WORD? Amanda: 'The fuck word'. Meg: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Ezi: Oh my god they censored it Amanda: Say fuck, Meg. Ezi: Do it, Meg. Say fuck.

Raymond: Hugo... How do I begin to explain Hugo? Ezi: Hugo is flawless. Major: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000. Amanda: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan. Meg: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

Raymond: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something? Hugo: Nope, absolutely not. Ezi: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through. Major: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life. Amanda: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you. Meg: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

*The squad right before Raymond's wedding* Hugo: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend. Ezi: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too! Major: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well Amanda: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND Meg, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

Dex: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine Dex: i became more evil if you’re curious Mav: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still! Dex: i’m going to get worse on purpose

Dex: I can explain. Mav: Can you? Dex: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

Dex: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Mav: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away. Dex: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Dex: Mav was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some. Mav: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it. Dex: Mav, you ate a chair.

Dex: This is such a bad idea. Mav: Then why are you coming along? Dex: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

*Amelie and Ramsay skipping stones on lake* Amelie: It’s such a beautiful evening. Ramsay, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

Amelie: *Accidentally hits Ramsay in the face* Amelie: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'* Amelie: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?! Ramsay: What’s wrong with you?!

Ramsay: What’s up guys? I’m back. Amelie: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die. Ramsay: Death is a social construct.

Amelie: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Ramsay: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Amelie: but what’s the first worst thing? *Awkward pause* Ramsay: Amelie, they...they weren’t always orphans. Amelie:

#slime speaks #golden #incorrect quotes

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years

Text

Humans are Space Orcs, “Keeping Secrets.”

Wrote another for you all. Hope you have a good day :)

“But I’m HUNGRY.”

“We don’t have time for that.”

“I’m the commander, I’m your boss, and I say I’m hungry.”

Ramirez turned on his heel going toe to toe with the taller man, “I don’t give one shit if you’re hungry or not, something is wrong with you, so I am taking you back to Dr. Krill and Katie, so they can to a scan of your dumbass skull.”

Commander Vir bared his teeth in a feral snarl held back only by Sunny, who had two of her arms wrapped around his chest. He was being absolutely impossible to control. First it had been other people, largely women, but with Ramirez in the crossfire once, and Sunny taking the brunt towards the tail end. Then it had been the aggression, the heightened need to fight absolutely everyone for the smallest infraction, and then had come the hunger, which he hadn’t shut up about for over a mile now.

Ramirez would have gotten them a taxi, but everything here tended to fly, which made Adam assume that it was his since he was “the best pilot in the known galaxy, so it should be me that flies everything.”

Yeah right, like he was going to let commander jackass fly the plane.

But deep down he was worried. Whatever this guy was, it wasn’t Adam.

Adam was….. Well how about the exact opposite of everything this person was doing, he was shy, and polite, and friendly, and humorous. Even when he got angry or indignant, his actions were usually justified for some sort of reason.

But whatever that thing in the alley had been, it had definitely done something to him.

He glanced down at his implant, and pulled up the tracking device that Krill had managed to weld to the commander’s ribs and found that it did indeed say that the commander was right behind him.

Up ahead they were just stepping onto the docking bay platform where ship shuttles were constantly rolling in from the sky above. Noctopolis didn’t have a station big enough for entire ships to land, so they were going to have to take a shuttle back to the ship. It would be best not to take their shuttle as the other marines would need a way to get back when they finally finished with their carousing, so he finally hailed another shuttle, which pulled to a stop in front of them.

“This piece of junk.” The commander snarled, “I’ve seen better shuttles in junkyards. Look at it, the D-4 coupling. Only some kind of bitch drives a shuttle with a -”

Sunny clamped her hand over the commander’s mouth and Ramirez sighed as the shuttle ramp opened and allowed them to step inside.

“To the station?” the pilot asked turning around in its seat to look at them.

“Yes please.” Ramirez said scanning his implant under the reader for payment.

As soon as that was done, he helped Sunny to strap the Commander into place getting a fat lip for his troubles when the man snuck in an angry knee to the face. Ramirez contemplated ‘accidentally’ closing the five point harness on the man’s junk in retaliation, but assumed it wise not to piss the man off more than he already was.

Sunny still had her hand over the Commander’s mouth, as the roar of the engines started up nearly deafening the.

Sunny yelped in shock and drew her hand back from Adam.

“He bit me!”

He barred his teeth at her, complained for a couple more minutes, though, luckily it wasn’t loudly enough for the pilot to hear. Eventually his messed up brain moved on to a quieter activity, pressed against Sunny head resting on her am.

Ramirez wasn’t stupid.

Had he guessed that Adam had a thing for sunny. Totally, who didn’t, but he doubted that Adam wanted anyone to find out like this. Ramirez honestly didn’t care about what he did in his free time, but he was worried about what would happen to his friend when he came down from whatever freaky psychotic behavior this was.

So, what did he do?

He decided to piss him off some more.

The commander could more easily come back from anger than he could from the humiliating of letting everyone know he was in love with an alien.

“Adam, Fuck you.”

It wasn’t his most eloquent diatribe he had ever given, but it worked pretty well.

Adam turned to look at him face twisted into an expression of murderous rage. Sunny was forced to hold him back as the cursing began and the struggling. Ramirez stayed very calm. He just had to keep him pissed like this until they made it to the infirmary.

They made it off the shuttle without incident, and walked through most of the station. Aside form the man hungrily eyeballing a couple of passing people, and a couple of passing food carts, they made it to the ship.

People came to approach them but Ramirez vigorously shook his head waving them off and out of the line of fire. Commander Vir glared them down as if he intended to fight each and every last one of them.

Sunny practically carried him up the corridor and through the ship towards their final destination.

Along the hallway up to the medical bay they ran into Conn, who took one look at Commander Vir and floated backwards a bit. Whatever was inside the man’s head, the starborn wasn’t to keen to be apart of.

Ramirez ignored that little fact and shouldered the next door open with gusto practically bursting into the medical bay with sunny close behind.

Dr. katie and Krill looked up from their work frowning in confusion as Sunny struggled to make the Commander do what she wanted.

Krill floated up.

“Is everything alright?”

Ramirez shook his head, “Something happened to the Commander. I think he was attacked?”

Both Dr. Krill and doctor Katie stepped forward in concern as Sunny forced him to sit down.

Krill moved forward, and so did doctor katie until eventually the man’s eyes fell on her. They all watched as his head tilted slowly moving up to her face after passing over her body. The look on his face was so uncharacteristic of him that Dr. katie and Krill took a step back.

He licked his lips.

Dr. Katie’s eyes narrowed, and she walked over grabbing him aggressively by the face and turning his head this way and that.

He mewled in pain.

“You are definitely right, something is completely wrong with him. Sunny pinned his hands down as he tried to fight Katie off.

“He got all weird like, started going after everyone, and then he tried to fight the, and then he got all hungry. And he's been aggressive and pissy ever since. I have never seen anyone behave like this ever, and I joined the army.”

“Yes the behavior is completely out of character. What did you say happened before he started acting like this.”

“I think someone may have used a device on him. It was dark, and I didn’t get a good look of the shadow, but I saw some metal, like there was a contraption on his head. Sunny continued to hold the commander down as doctor Katie looked over his head. She completely ignored whatever he was saying, though it did happen to be rather alarming coming from Adam.

“Here, on the scalp, what do you make of it Krill.”

Krill moved forward to take a look leaning in closely for an examination, “Hmmm, yes. Puncture wounds on the temples and under the eyes, very minuscule. Almost microscopic in fact.

Adam bit at Katie’s hand and she pulled back.

The look on her face was one of complete no nonsense as she stepped away grabbed something and then came back.

Adam looks almost shocked when she stabbed him in the back with the syringe.

“What did you give him.” Krill wondered

The concoction was self-evident a moment later as the man lost all muscle tone. Sunny grabbed him and lay him back.

“Combined sedative and paralytic. That should keep him still she said.” Behind her glasses her warm eyes had changed to one of worry. She wasn’t mad at the commander knowing that something had been done to hi to make him behave in such a barbaric manner.

“Call in Dr. Adric will you. He might be able to help us explain at least some of this behavior.”

It wasn’t long before the man slipped into the room honey tones of his dark skin washed out by sharp overhead light. He walked forward and stopped with the other two doctors.

“Something is wrong with the commander.”

“Increased libido, hyper aggression, and hunger to the point of not being able to control himself. We had to sedate him.”

“Strange, sounds like you just gave me the textbook definition of the Id.”

“The what now?”

Dr Adric shrugged, “Oh nothing it was simply a theory proposed by a psychologist more than two thousand years ago. His methods have since been questioned and greatly disproven, but Freud did coin the idea of the Id, or the subconscious driving for of the human mind that encompasses all our base desires, food, sex, aggression, and so on.” he glanced down at the commander, “In this case, i might suggest something in causation with the function of the brain stem (including all base drives) and an inhibition of the frontal lobe and limbic system.”

“Why those in particular?” Krill wondered

“The frontal lobe, as you know is in charge of executive decision. Whatever function has kept these drives and habits suppressed, is not working. With the limbic system down, he has no way of controlling his emotions which might explain the aggression, though I have never seen anything manifest in this way.”

“So you have seen it?”

“Alzheimer patients can experience similar behavior towards the end stages of the disease as their executive function and limbic systems break down, but he doesn't appear to be having any related memory involvement. I would suggest an x-ray fMRI and CT scan to begin.”

“Why the x-ray?” wondered Ramirez pretty sure that that could show you the skull and not the brain.

“Looking for metal of course.”

It was probably a good idea as the first x-ray image lit up like a lightbulb. Gathered around the screen, Sunny and Ramirez looking over their heads they saw the skull was packed full of shiny white dots. The skull was intact, and the dots were on the outside of his brain, but they were small, very small.

“Think you can get those out, Dr?” Katie asked turning to look at Krill.

“Yes, they are very small, a large magnet should do the trick.”

Dr Adric made a joke about putting him in an MRI to do the work quicker, and received a look form Krill while Katie laughed.

By the end of the hour all oft hem were staring at a minute grouping of microscopic electrodes that had been pulled from the man’s head.

“That would explain it.” Dr Adric muttered

“Explain what?”

“Generating a magnetic current through areas of the brain can disrupt its function. We’ve known that for thousands of years. Continuous stimulation of the occipital lobe, for example, can make someone go blind. So whoever did this intentionally shut off his executive functions, or stimulated his base drives. I believe what we just saw is the hardwired, natural human instincts.

“How very comforting”, Krill said, obviously not very comforted

“Well, lets wake him up and see if the problem resolved.

Nervously, the group gathered around the man who had been mostly sedated for the entire procedure. He wasn’t fully asleep, but he was only half conscious. The reversal agent woke him up pretty quickly, and he lifted his head sort of groggily.

He blinked owlishly at them, his face neutral.

They waited worried.

“What…. Happened?” He groaned hand to his head

His single eye slowly focused in on Dr Katie, and then he blanched absolutely white. Eyes widening he put a hand over his mouth.

“Yep, that’s him.”

“Commander, are you ok? What do you remember.”

He grabbed Katie by the arm stammering, “Katie I… I’m so sorry I-I dont know what came over me. I’ve never done anything like that in my life I swear to god.” he looked near close to panic, “You know I would never intentionally ever do anything like that to you ever, and I am so sorry. I have no idea why that even happened.”

She grabbed his hand, “Adam, it’s alright. I know you wouldn’t. It wasn’t your fault.”

He turned his head, and as he saw sunny and Ramirez his face went from bleach white to pale pink, to bright red.

Ramirez grinned and threw in a wink just for fun.

He thought the man was going to stroke out and die. He dropped his head into his hands. Even his hands were red.

“Do you remember what happened, commander?” Dr krill asked

“I…. I don’t now I was waiting for Ramirez and sunny but then…. I saw something in the alley. Next thing I knew everything was dark, and I was being thrown around. It pinned me to the ground and did something…. That’s when ramirez and sunny came out. After that I remember….. I remember feeling, so angry and, and hungry and….” He went quiet as his neck blushed and even deeper shade of red, “I’m so sorry”, he moaned.

“Are you sure you don’t remember anything else, Commander.’

“Well I mean…. I’m not sure, but maybe...I thought it might have said, the Kree, but I wasn’t really paying attention.”

“The Kree. Didn’t the GA make contact with a race that called themselves the Kree.”

Te commander lifted his head, “Yes, though it was only by long distance communication, otherwise no one knows anything about them.”

“Well, rest, Commander, and we will figure this all out later.”

He nodded dejectedly as the doctors stepped from the room all the while discussing what the device could have been.

Ramirez followed after them having taken a step out the door when.

“Sunny, I am so sorry. What happened, I didn’t meant to do any of it.”

He paused beside the doorway knowing he should move on, but being unable to do so.

“None of it?”

There was silence.

“I…..”

“So I shouldn’t expect anything like that ever…. Even in an appropriate context?”

Stammering

He really should go

“It’s fine, Adam, but that is something I just needed to know.”

“But I didn��t say that, Sunny I…. I just.”

“You just…. What?”

“Eventually yes of course…. And I want to…. But I….”

Ramirez shook himself and pulled away. He shouldn’t be listening in. It was wrong despite how much he wanted to shove it in maverick’s face and claim his two hundred bucks.

He wasn’t going to rat out his friend to everyone.

He knew what being a friend meant, and often that included keeping secrets.

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gwynethlandivar · 3 years

Text

Understanding What It Feels Like Is Simpler Than It Seems

TW: mention of e*ting dis*rders

From a very young age, I remember having body image issues. It all started when I was about 11 years old. This is when I started to gain more weight than I was supposed to for my age and my dad consistently reminded me how fat I was and how I needed to stop eating so much and lose weight. Between my dad’s criticism and my self-doubt, I started to compare myself with all the other girls around my age at school. Even though I wasn’t the only big girl in my class, I seemed to be one of the only girls that were most bothered by the fact that I was overweight. Since no one could completely relate to the way I felt, I started to isolate myself more than I already had been doing since I didn’t have a lot of friends, to begin with.

At home, both of my parents worked a lot, so I barely got to see them, and when I did my dad continuously critiqued the way I looked which made me distance myself from him. At school, no one seemed to understand how I felt. 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙄 𝙬𝙚𝙣𝙩. Since I was alone for the majority of the time, when I drastically reduced the amount of food I ate, no one really noticed, so when I lost about 23 lbs in a month, 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴. The positive reinforcement definitely fed into my idea that the thinner I get, the more people would like me, which caused me to drop another 20 lbs in that same year.

After achieving my weight goal, my relationship with food did not improve, I was never satisfied. Since I never saw myself thin enough, I would have phases in which I would allow myself to eat more, in excess even, until I would realize that I gained too much weight again. This created a cycle in my teenage years in which I would let myself enjoy food for a period of time only to get extremely upset when the weight gain came, for which I forced myself to stop eating and even considered purging it a few times unsuccessfully, to then lose all the weight again.

While all this happened, I tried talking to my friends about what I was going through, but they seemed to judge me for my actions, or oversimplify my problems and just tell me to “eat more and not be dumb about it”. They would just tell me to get over it, that I should simply accept myself the way I looked and not change as if it was that easy. I wouldn’t say that I have completely recovered from this cycle, but now that I certainly have a better understanding of what I was going through and the basics of nutrition, after doing extensive research over the past years, I understand that my friends had no ill intent and they were genuinely trying to help me, but they were simply misinformed. They believed that if I just stopped comparing myself to other people and “just think of myself as beautiful”, it would fix everything when this is far from the truth. I don’t want more people to feel as misunderstood as I did back in the day, so my personal experience motivated me to explain the major causes that push someone to disordered eating and e.d’s so people around them can understand them and empathize with their loved ones so they have the confidence to speak up about their issues and receive the help they need or even prevent situations that lead to eating disorders.

The are many reasons and factors that affect someone enough that it could lead them to disordered eating. According to many studies, it has been determined that the three main categories these factors are classified in are: environmental, psychological, and biological. A misconception that the general public has been led to believe is that the real and only cause of eating disorders is simply “bad parenting” or the media’s advertising of unrealistic slim figures. The reality is that different types of eating disorders come with a different factor that has been proven to be the causation of these. For example, for anorexia nervosa, some common factors seem to be genetics as 40% of this seems it could influence and improve the risk of development, as well as having a perfectionist and anxious personality, for which this becomes a way of regaining the sense of control in their lives.

Psychological and biological factors cannot be always easily changed as these involve their personality and their literal genetic material. It is still being researched, but there has been proven that there is a connection between one’s genetics and being more susceptible to developing an eating disorder, which has no solution. What can be modified with time, however, is one’s self-esteem, as well as anxious and perfectionist behavior. To improve one’s self-image, it is important to be surrounded by supportive people to remind them that their value does not depend on their image alone and therapy would be a great way of starting this process of new self-discovery.

Parenting, depending on how it is done, seems to indeed have an effect on people’s possible development of eating disorders. It has been observed that parents that have family meals build a better relationship with food for their children as they can teach them to have a balanced meal with an appropriate amount. On the other hand, parents that diet around their children, involuntarily model these behaviors in which they limit their food to look a certain way. Overall, it has been observed that parents with more open communication tend to have better relationships with their children and therefore build their trust as well as notice if their eating behaviors drastically change, for which it is recommended to build one’s children trust so they feel safe enough to speak about the issues they might be going through without judging them since this will make them want to avoid any type of serious conversation with them.

Even though there are uncontrollable factors, such as severe childhood trauma, dysfunctional family dynamics, stressful life changes, or even childhood sexual abuse, there are some environmental factors that can be controlled to a certain extent such as peer pressure among friends and family to look a certain way. If children are taught from a young age that all bodies are valid and there was implemented a mentoring program in elementary and middle schools in which younger children could talk with an older one about the things that worry them, about their feelings and house circumstances, many situations could be avoided as they could be advised and guided as these are things older teens have most likely experienced one way or another, or if the situation requires it, report to an adult the possible abuse some children take and take action if the mentor believes the child does not live in a safe environment. Having someone to talk to without feeling like they are in the wrong or feeling judged, could save the lives of many children and young teenagers as it would encourage them to seek help from their mentors and they could involve adults and professionals if the circumstances require it.

If small changes are implemented slowly into one’s life, such as simply having dinner as a family, or avoiding any unnecessary criticism not only to someone’s friends, but to the people around them as well, implementing a mentoring program in schools could not be completely impossible to fathom and it would definitely have a positive impact on people who are more prone to developing eating disorders. We cannot change what is being broadcasted in the media, but if we start by simply spreading kindness, people are more likely to approach us with their concerns, and therefore obtain the help they need. If people took into consideration that there are other people more sensitive to certain topics were mindful when they spoke and shared with those who don’t understand why, that it is not as easy as simply eating more or loving yourself the way you are, that there are deeper issues behind these disorders, they could 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗵𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗼 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝘁��𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲.

PS. here are pictures of what I looked like at 11 before, a few months after, and then a year after I lost weight without people questioning it.

#eating disorders #eds #ed causes #anamia #education #psychology #research project

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abuse-culture · 4 years

Text

Depression Misconceptions

Our abuse culture is fueled by a misunderstanding of mental health.

Online I see many people address depression joking with phrases like “serotonin machine broke”. And in serious cases use the hyper medicalised version of depression and mental illnesses in general as just a lack of a neurotransmitter. Either way, they are presenting depression as only a lack of serotonin.

Mental illness is not the same health struggle as type 1 diabetes and way more complex. Keep in mind even diabetes has other management factors than insulin. Comparing the two as the same or as competition is harmful to everyone.

Mental illness is more affected by environment and life factors than most non-psychological health conditions. Our bodies are complex and our mind cannot be separated from the rest of our body, but mental health is connected to our social-emotional state by treating it like we might a broken arm, heart defect or diabetes.

There is some truth in the idea of depression being only a “sick organ”. There are of course neurological and neurochemical aspects to be considered. The functioning of the Amygdala & Thalamus is altered and the size of the hippocampus are all affected. This was shown in many F-MRI’s, MRI studies. Chemically; Acetylcholine, Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Glutamate & GABA all play a role. Which in itself shows more complex neurobiological levels and shows overlap with PTSD and anxiety on physical and chemical levels.

There are genes linked to depression, but the idea that any depression is purely genetic or generally endogenic is not common. You may see it reported in some places, but the most common belief is that the “depression gene” does not cause depression on its own but instead predisposes you to it. Some studies suggest that possibly 40% of depression in a person may be genetic, but even that shows that 60% is environmental.

This complexity can be exacerbated as there are multiple physiological disorders and health conditions that can induce depressive symptoms due to multiple chemical imbalances and other functions. Chronic low blood pressure, CFS, diabetes, hypercalcemia, hypothyroidism, or vitamin deficiency can all mimic depression. These depressive symptoms can be better by treating the physical chronic health condition if not eliminated. Disability and chronic illness can be a trigger or layer of depressive disorders by both symptoms of the health condition and as a stressor or trauma that influences depression.

But what is key is that mental health is that layer of social, interpersonal, behavioral, environmental and systemic factors. We have to recognize all of this to understand our mental health and improve our situation.

It stops people considering all the factors that might influence the depression we may be suffering with and it’s always a layered experience.

Examples:

Ableism

Alienation brought on by capitalism

Attachment trauma

Child Abuse

Child Emotional Neglect

Classism

Community Trauma

Death of loved ones

Developmental Traumas

Disabilities & Disabilities

Domestic Violence

Environmental factors (Pollution)

Exposure to the criminal legal system

Global traumas

Homophobia

Incarceration

Intergenerational trauma

Lack of health care

Lack of housing

Lack of hobbies or creative outlets

Lack of social supports for issues like relationships or child care

Negative or toxic relationships

Misogyny

Poor Nutrition

Poverty

Our culture’s lack of emotional inelegance

Racism

Rape

The school system

Sexual Abuse

Spiritual well-being deficits

Substances Abuse Disorder

Your Job

Another common phrase is “if you can’t make a serotonin store-bought is a fine” way of addressing depression. They tend to be moderately effective, even the big headlines saying; “The drugs do work” or “antidepressants proved better than placebo”. The studies are not nearly definitive, including admitting the drugs only work moderately well. Many studies show inconclusive evidence or even show almost no evidence that antidepressants have a major curative power for depression, with high relapse rates and rates that are equal or lesser to other forms of treatment.

I’m not against them but we need to be cautious of and more informed. For example, Understand antidepressants aren’t just concentrated serotonin you aren’t taking serotonin or getting “store-bought”. Only a few psychiatric drugs are directly ingesting the neurotransmitter.

The Rates of depression have gone up in the past 25 years, not down. Our most recent numbers (2017) showed a rate of 7.1% in US adults and 1991 there was only a rate of 3.3%. If our steady increase in medications for depression were having a massive effect, we should have a decrease at least in the rates of major depressive episodes a year, if those with chronic depression were treated and the medication fixed the neurotransmitter problems there should be fewer repeat episodes. Now we can say some stigma decrease allows better treatment sure and contributes to higher rates, but the key part is a lack of systemic improved outcomes.

A rate of around 13% is shown in adolescents. A rise in extreme pressure in school, media consumption rates, climate grief and other social factors are all indicated to have effects. If social factors improve, these rates may decrease.

Those social factors show in the data:

Indigenous Americans and Alaskan Natives have higher rates of depression and other mental health groups.

Black and Hispanic populations tend to have more persistent and chronic depression.

Women and adolescent girls both have higher rates than those of the opposite sex.

Mixed-race people have the highest rates of depression among racial groups

Low socioeconomic status is a risk factor in developing depression and all mental health issues.

The hyper-medicalization of mental health is for-profit and born from the dismissal of childhood trauma and connected to misogyny and classism. The APA has had a history of connections to powerful groups and dismissing trauma for years, even going as far as to say horrific abuses like incest, being possibly beneficial or at least harmless to children. To this day they still refuse to understand developmental trauma and DTD. The DSM also tends to pathologize behaviours linked to stress in children, labelling them as oppositional defiant (ODD) instead of asking why.

Social political factors not taken into account, leaving our mental health and social support system lacking the tools to address the specific needs of Marginalised communities.

The hyper-medical model is also politically advantageous. If we do not notice that the way our model of employment, social precarity and systemic failures are causing depression and other illness, then we won’t’ fight back. If we don’t understand how our culture steeped in abuse affects our health we won’t change it. A healthier culture would help combat all mental health problems including depression.

Depression needs to be understood as not just your brain being a sick organ or an illness “just like any other”. Because the fact is it’s not. It’s extremely context-dependent and it’s interesting and complicated. Socio-political circumstance, environment, physical health, childhood and interpersonal relationships all impact our depression.

Which is good in some ways, because we can help alter some of those and important insights showing us combating oppression and our political system would help us! It shows us we have to be holistic in our approach.

If we have people who only think in the medicalised only structure it opens the door for the “sceptics”, “faith healers” and “ The Secret peddler” telling us to pray or “manifest” our depression away. Which is dangerous faith is important and we ought to be critical of pharmacological companies but we can’t throw neuropsychology out entirely and definitely can’t fall into toxic “self Help” or Goop style woo.

It’s healing to know you’re not stuck with a broken brain. But a brain that is struggling through multiple stressors and is currently not operating properly. But you can help it through therapy, behaviour changes, connecting with others, combating alienation, learning, needed medical intervention grounding skills, emotional regulation techniques and becoming embodied.

And by knowing while you can help yourself, you’re not the problem and nor is your body. The problem is also social factors and your history of stress and/or trauma. Which means your body is not fighting against you or failing you. Which is so liberating. Knowing what is and isn’t in your control.

Depression is not just a lack of serotonin or part of your brain that’s broken, it’s complex and complicated and tied in with our culture of abuse and trauma.

Citations undercut

Kirsch I (2019) Placebo Effect in the Treatment of Depression and Anxiety. Front. Psychiatry 10:407. DOI: 10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00407

Martin, Elizabeth I et al. “The neurobiology of anxiety disorders: brain imaging, genetics, and psychoneuroendocrinology.” The psychiatric clinics of North America vol. 32,3 (2009): 549-75. DOI:10.1016/j.psc.2009.05.004

Sandeep K and Rajmeet S: Role of different neurotransmitters in anxiety: a systemic review. Int J Pharm Sci Res 2017; 8(2): 411-21.doi: 10.13040/IJPSR.0975-8232.8(2).411-21.

Socioeconomic Status and Mental Illness: Tests of the Social Causation and Selection Hypotheses, “Christopher G. Hudson, Ph.D., Salem State College; American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, Vol. 75, No. 1.

12-19-17 Fact Sheet_Diversity.indd

A., Van der Kolk Bessel. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books, 2015.

“Big New Study Confirms Antidepressants Work Better than Placebo.” NHS Choices, NHS, 22 Feb. 2018, www.nhs.uk/news/medication/big-new-study-confirms-antidepressants-work-better-placebo/.

Hari, Johann. “Is Everything You Think You Know about Depression Wrong?” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 7 Jan. 2018, www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jan/07/is-everything-you-think-you-know-about-depression-wrong-johann-hari-lost-connections?CMP=share_btn_tw.

Harvard Health Publishing. “What Causes Depression?” Harvard Health, Harvard University, 24 June 2019, www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression.

Johnson, Adam H, and Nima Shirazi. “Citations Nedded.” Citations Nedded, 6 May 2020, https://citationsneeded.libsyn.com/episode-109-self-help-culture-and-the-rise-of-corporate-happiness-monitoring.

Levinson, Douglas F, and Walter E Nichols. “Major Depression and Genetics.” Stanford Medicine, Stanford University , med.stanford.edu/depressiongenetics/mddandgenes.html.

Lorant, V. “Socioeconomic Inequalities in Depression: A Meta-Analysis.” American Journal of Epidemiology, vol. 157, no. 2, 15, Jan. 2003, pp. 98–112., doi:10.1093/aje/kwf182.

“Major Depression.” National Institute of Mental Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Feb. 2019, www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/major-depression.shtml.

“Native American Communities and Mental Health.” Mental Health America, MHA, 2016, www.mhanational.org/issues/native-american-communities-and-mental-health.

O'Shea, Breht. “Revolutionary Left Radio.” Revolutionary Left Radio, 20 Jan. 2019, https://revolutionaryleftradio.libsyn.com/drugs-addiction-and-social-conditions.

Schimelpfening, Nancy. “Factors That Could Increase Your Risk of Depression.” Verywell Mind, Verywell Mind, 21 Mar. 2020, www.verywellmind.com/common-causes-of-depression-1066772.

Weinhold, Barry K., and Janae B. Weinhold. Developmental Trauma: the Game Changer in the Mental Health Profession. CICRCL Press, 2018.

#depression #mental health #mental illness #abuse culture #trauma culture #actuallydepressed #serotonin #childhood trauma #child abuse #trauma #mental health misconceptions #mental health awareness #complex trauma #culture of abuse #cultural trauma #depressive disorders

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funtryandthepaladudes · 5 years

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Well, it’s been a hot second. However, since I am for the most part finished with my mini-bang fic, and I’m starting to gain interest in writing a magical girl au multi, I thought I should update this first before I take on a new project. So, to those of you have been following this thing, particularly @sillygurl1021, I hope you enjoy this update. And if you just stumbled unto this, why don’t you start here.

Previous. Next.

And now, let us begin.

Edit: Just went over some typos that were bugging me, and because I suspet that the tag I used didn’t work, so here goes.

@sillygurl1021

The Paladin Spacecraft finally lands. Coran is there to greet them, but Romelle is conspicuously missing. As the Paladins, plus Curtis and Chip, are approaching him, Chip is telling Pidge about how he was getting strange readings from the crate containing the artifact. Once they are closer to him, they notice that Coran looks a bit less enthused than he was earlier.

Shiro: Coran, is everything alright?

Coran: If you had asked me that a few Vargas ago, I would have been able to give you a considerably more positive answer, however, there have been some concerning developments.

Hunk: Do you mean, like there isn’t enough matching place-sets for the huge party you’re planning concerning, or the other type?

Coran: I think you should see this for yourselves.

Hunk: So it’s the other type. I hate the other type.

He leads them to a room, where an entire group of Alteans are shivering, pacing, and mumbling something in a language nobody understands. They are being examined by some Doctor types, but they are clearly out of their depths. Everybody is shook.

Pidge: What is happening to them?

Smashcut to Allura, Keith & Voltron, zooming through space.

Allura: It senses my approach. I was too careless. They are all in danger.

Keith: Who’s in danger?

Back to Altea.

Coran: We don’t know what’s causing this. All we know is once they started acting up like this, they became none-responsive. Medically speaking they’re fine, but the fact that we can’t seem to find the source of this behavior is more than a little disconcerting.

Hunk: Wait a second, I know these people.

Lance: Me too! Aren’t these the same Alteans that were experimented on by Honerva?

“That’s exactly who they are.” Romelle, who has finally arrived interjects.

Romelle: And considering that specifically they are acting up like this, shortly after we’ve heard that Allura might be returning, makes this feel all the more foreboding. And with the news I’ve just gotten from Axca, it’s all the more reason to worry.

Curtis: Why, is something wrong with Princess Allura?

Romelle: That’s just it. She, along with Keith and all five Lions, are missing.

Back to the Allura and Keith.

Allura: We need to reach there before someone is hurt. Before the Paladins...!

Keith: We will make it. We’re making better time than we could in my ship, and I’m sure the Paladins will hold their own until we get there.

Allura: It might not be enough. I might not be enough.

When she says this, then for the first time since Keith has found her she reminds him of the Allura he used to know, instead of this all-knowing ethereal being. He takes her hand.

Keith: You are more than enough. You’ve saved all of reality once, I’m sure you can handle whatever is happening now. And I...All of us Paladins, will back you up.

Allura looks towards him gratefully.

Allura: I hope you are right.

We cut to Chip, who is running his own analysis on the Alteans, as the ‘Adults’ are discussing all the recent events in the background. One Altean, who seems be scratching something into the floor with a nicked scalpel, gets his attention. He approaches to get a better look, but to his frustration can only get so far, thanks to Protocol Yellow. He looks towards Pidge, about to ask her to move a little closer, but seeing how she is deep in discussion with the others doesn’t bother. He looks around in the hopes of finding some other solution, and to his luck, finds some security cameras. He hacks into them and uses the feed to zoom in and enhance whatever the Altean is so focused on writing.

*Ah yeah, I totally dropped a zoom in and enhance trope. Come at me, bro!*

Once he recognizes what it is he is surprised.

Chip: Dr. Pidge, everybody? I think you need to see this.

They all approach, clearly intrigued.

Lance: Did you find something in the Alteans, Buddy?

Chip: Not in them exactly but I’d like to point you to what she’s been carving into the floor.

Everybody just looks plain spooked, but Lance and Pidge look especially pale, because other than the audience they are the only ones who would recognize the inscription. We pan over to a proper shot of the runes that the Altean was making, and it is in fact a match for the ones found all over the artifact. Speaking off, we cut to said artifact, where the runes upon it are lighting up in the order that they were written down in other room. Once the final rune is lit, it emits a high pitched frequency.

Back to the room, nobody seems to be responding to the frequency, except for Chip, who’s gripping his ears, and the infected Alteans, who have suddenly gone still.

Hunk: Uhm, is any body else majorly creeped out by how still they suddenly got?

Pidge: Chip, what’s wrong?

Chip: It’s so loud. I can barely hear anything else.

Lance: What are you talking about? Everything’s quiet now.

Pidge: He must be hearing something on a pitch we can’t hear.

Just as she says this, all hell breaks loose. The Alteans begin attacking, but are mostly focused on seriously harming the Paladins. They, and everybody else combat capable are at a serious disadvantage, because they don’t want to hurt the Alteans, who have no such qualms. The also have to protect the Medical Personnel who aren’t equipped for combat. And yes, I would like Romelle to be among the combat capable. Shiro slips right back into leader mode, and gives out commands.

Shiro: Coran, Curtis, Romelle. Take the Medical Personnel somewhere safe. We seem to be their targets, so we’ll do our best to subdue them without harming them, but we have to ensure that nobody else gets caught up in the crossfire.

All three of them: Roger that!

Pidge: Chip, how bad is the frequency? Can you still take vocal commands?

Chip, still wincing: I think so?

Pidge: Alright, first of all, I want you to lower the sensitivity of your hearing receptors. Then initiate Protocol Green*.

The pain in Chip’s face seems to significantly lighten as he apparently lowers his hearing sensitivity.

Chip: Initiating Protocol Green.

As the rest of the Paladins continue to defend themselves, Chip scans the area for materials he can use to limit the Alteans movements, and soon finds some medical cuffs.

*No, I have no idea if this is really a thing, but just go with it.*

He then goes about ridding them of their improvised weaponry, and cuffing their hands and feet. Before long, all of them are incapacitated, but no less determined to kill them.

Hunk: OK, so now what?

Shiro: We should put them somewhere secure, until we find out how to get them back to normal, or whatever this is runs its course.

Lance: I come here a lot for Allura Day preparations, and Juniberry related things. I know where the secure holding cells are.

Shiro: Excellent, show us the way.

Pidge: I think I should bring Chip to Coran and the others, make sure nobody’s injured. Chip, initiate Protocol Blue**.

Chip: Initiating Protocol Blue. Would you like me to shut down Protocol Green?

Pidge: No, better keep it running. If one of them manages to escape, that will be more than handy.

Chip: Affirmative.

The Paladins are about to split up, but Lance takes Pidge’s hand before they leave.

Lance: Take care of yourself, you don’t know what else is going on right now.

Pidge, while smirking: Don’t worry, I’m sure you can tell from this little skirmish that I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. Besides, Chip is still running Protocol Yellow, so nothing can touch me.

Lance, who knows what all the Protocols are for is a little more relieved at hearing this. Behind him, Hunk and Shiro are giving them knowing looks. Pidge notices this and rolls her eyes.

Shiro, clears his throat: Let’s keep in contact over our comms, update us immediately if something comes up.

After agreeing to this, they finally split up. We follow Pidge and Chip, as they go where they presume, Coran and the others went. Pidge is about to try to reach out for them with her comlink, in case they had one on them, but changes her mind and turns towards Chip instead.

Pidge: Can you still hear the frequency, or do you need to turn your sensitivity back up?

Chip: No, I can still hear it, and yes it still hurts, but if I turned the sensitivity any lower, I would be unable to hear you.

Pidge: Do you think the frequency has anything to do with why the Alteans suddenly got all murder happy?

Chip: The correlation is strong enough to suggest causation for once, want me to triangulate the source of the frequency?

Pidge: No need, I think I know where it’s coming from.

Chip: So do I. And I think I should go there on my own.

Pidge: Is this your way of weaseling out of Bodyguard Duty?

Chip: Didn’t you notice how easy it was for me to subdue the Alteans? I don’t think they registered me as a threat because I’m not organic. Whatever that artifact is, it does not care about who it hurts, and it really wants the Paladins dead. Seeing as you are both organic and a Paladin, the most logical choice would be the to send someone who is neither, like me, to go and disable this thing. Plus, I’m the only one who can hear it, so I would be the only one who knows if we’ve successfully shut it down.

Pidge: Except, this situation is not as simple as breaking through a complex Firewall. Whatever this is, is clearly supernatural, and those things tend to be unpredictable. So, whatever you’re planning, knock it off. Let’s check on Coran and the others, and once we’ve regrouped we’ll form a strategy that will cover all bases.

Chip: There isn’t time, it just seems to get stronger by every tick. I’m sorry about this, Dr. Pidge. Initiating Protocol Red Override.

Pidge: You little...! Fine, I’m going with you.

Chip: No, you’re not.

And before Pidge can react Chip has used on of his remaining Medical Cuffs, to tie one of her arms to her opposite leg.

Chip, as he runs off: I’m really sorry about this! I’ll make it up to you later, I promise!

Pidge just mutters as she struggles to turn on her comlink with her remaining arm.

Pidge: Shiro, Coran, anybody? I’m in a bit of a situation here.

Lance: Are you alright?! Did something attack you?!!

Pidge: No, but Chip decided to enter his rebellious phase, and initiated Protocol Red. He tied my left arm to my right foot, and ran off.

Lance: Are you for real? I told you that protocol was a bad idea.

Pidge: No, if he used it for what it was intended, Protocol Red could be a lifesaver, this is not within the parameters I set for it. Stupid, autonomous, Android.

Coran: I’m a bit confused. What exactly is this Protocol Red?

Shiro: Yeah, some of us are not so up-to-date on your commands for Chip.

Lance: It’s basically the protocol that allows him to disobey direct commands from Pidge.

Pidge: And if I were ever possessed by some otherworldly force, or otherwise compromised, it would be really helpful. Honestly, this is probably your fault, Lance.

Lance: How is this my fault?!!

Pidge: I don’t know, whose the one who kept on filling his head with romantic ideas of Adventures and Chivalry, and all that other crap?

Lance: Hey! You never complained before!

Hunk: Look, as fun as it is to listen to you two fight like a married couple, shouldn’t we be asking why he decide to exercise his independence now?

Pidge: He’s heading for the artifact.

We see Pidge has activated her Bayard, and is cutting herself loose.

Pidge: He’s trying to shut down the frequency. We think it might be the thing that’s making the Alteans violent.

Lance: Wait, they might not have been violent, but they were acting weird since before that frequency started. Doesn’t that mean that the there’s more than just the artifact influencing them?

Pidge: Exactly, that is why it is imperative that we stop Chip, before he does something stupid.

We cut Chip arriving at the crate carrying the artifact.

Jump to Keith and Allura, who seems to be reacting to the frequency in a similar way that Chip was. Keith is trying to soothe her her by caressing her back, but it isn’t helping too much.

Now we’re by Pidge, who has manged to cut the cuff and is heading towards Chip.

And we cut to the other Paladins, who have managed to lock the Alteans in a few holding cells, as they watch with concern as the Alteans seem to be working up an even bigger frenzy.

Back to Chip, who has managed to open the crate, and immediately gets to working on shutting it. Since we are in his P.O.V we can also hear the Frequency, as we keep on switching between Allura and Keith approaching, Pidge running, and Chip working on the artifact. Just as the pitch of the Frequency is about to reach its climax, Chip succeeds in shutting it down.

Back with Shiro’s group, we see that all the Alteans have collapsed.

And then we are with Keith and Allura again.

Allura: The signal...It stopped.

Keith: That’s a good thing, right?

Allura: I think.... (Suddenly, her eyes go wide) No!

We see the Alteans expelling the Entity out of them. The mass collectively zooms away.

Hunk: Where’s it going?

Shiro: I’m not sure. Maybe it’s going to the Artifact?

Lance: Pidge was going there to stop Chip. She could be in danger!

With that he runs off, Shiro and Hunk right behind him.

Cut to Pidge just now reaching Chip.

Pidge: You better have been right, otherwise you’re in so much trouble. Scratch that, you’re in trouble regardless.

Chip: Well, I did manage to shut it down. No big deal.

Pidge: Okay, I’ll admit I’m proud of you, but that doesn’t change how much trouble you are in.

She is now standing beside him, and although she’s got a strict look on her face, can’t help but pat him on the back.

Chip: Totally worth...Look out!

He pushes her away just in the nick of time, as a spike like thing protruded from the artifact into the space were she was standing. Unfortunately, it ran right through him. His glasses fall off his face and crack as they hit the floor.

Pidge is frozen from shock for a bit, before she activates her Bayard, and goes ham on the the thing. It emits a sound that resembles screeching, the Bayard seemingly having a huge impact on it and then, apparently phases away. She pants for a bit and then turns towards Chip.

Back in Space, Allura seems to be catatonic.

Keith: Allura, is everything alright. Is...did...Are we too late?

We see that they have finally reached the Altean Solar System.

Allura:....It got away....The Paladins....are unharmed at least, but....

We see Pidge frantically working on Chip, as we hear Allura’s voice over say. ‘There was a loss.’

Chip, a lot more sluggishly than usual: I guess you were right...Adventures are...unpredictable.

Pidge: Stop talking and go into Sleep Mode. The more energy you waste, the harder it will be to save all the data on your hard-drive.

Chip: I can’t really feel anything, but...I don’t like this...This is scary...

Pidge: You don’t have anything to be scared about. I’m going to fix you. It’ll be like nothing happened.

Chip:...It’s not that simple. My diagnostics are really bad...I don’t think...Can I...Just this once, can I call you...Mo...

The lights in his eyes go out. Now more then ever, he looks robotic.

Pidge: What are you saying? Chip? Chip?!! This isn’t funny!! I am going to make this better, so if your messing around with me I swear...!!! I can fix you. I will, I promise...I...I...

She begins crying, unable to hold back anymore. Not when it looks like her favorite invention, her baby, is dead.

Lance and the other Paladins arrive.

Lance: Pidge! All the Alteans just fainted, and then the Entity thing got out of them and we think it might be going for the artifact are you....Oh no.

Hunk lifts his hands to his mouth, and Shiro looks visible shaken. Lance kneels down next to Pidge and puts his hand on her back. She turns and grabs him in a relentless hug, still sobbing. He readily returns her hug, tears escaping his eyes as well. And because I’m a terrible person, this is where I will stop this installment.

---

Yeah, I’m sorry about this cliffhanger. Especially, since I can’t promise that I’ll update this soon. Or that the next installment will be less sad. Um, until next time?

Funtry. Runs away.

*Disarm and Subdue.

**Apply Medical Assistance.

#Movie Synopsis thing #Part 6 of ???#Plance #SeaSalt #Kallura #Help me it's an action scene!#Chip VLD #I'm so sorry #Reblogging for edits #and because tag didn't seem to work

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iv-scruff · 4 years

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So, this one's a bitch for me to write about on at least two counts; a) these individuals do not any more attention, it only feeds the monster, and b) I want to be writing about more imporant/positive things –– the world has enough negativity going around. But then again, I am feeling extra feisty today, so here it goes anyway.

Here are my least favorite things about them Kardash/nners.

1) They run around with a man who's clearly going through some really tough mental health stuff (Kanye), yet they do nothing. Mental health is an all-time hot-button issue in this country, which they inhabit, I can only assume. Can you just imagine your man, the father of your child (or is it children now?), running around supporting the president of the United States of America in 2019, and holding rallies (he visited home, Salt Lake, earlier this year), and saying that he's running for president...? Those antics I mentioned are merely scratching at the surface of Kimmy's husband's mental and emotional health. And what might the wife(?) of such a man occupy her time doing...? Well, I'll tell you. . . selling the Instagram nation fucking makeup(?), and (according to the Netflix original documentary Broken/Makeup Mayhem) being sure to express her dislike for "fast fashion." I just can't with this. . . woman, control your man. But the great Judy Sheindlin says it best; "beauty fades, but dumb is forever."

2) Frankly, I can't help but notice their obsession with black culture and bedding attractive African American men. As an avid supporter of (almost everything) sex and the preferences that it sometimes brings with it, I am all about it. Go on, get yours. But, African American men are part of a group that continues to suffer in profound ways. They have all that fucking power and all those people who idolize them, but they do nothing. Can you just picture one of these trainwrecks at a Black Lives Matter march? It'd would be cruel to put African Americans though that mess –– I just can't imagine they'd be welcome. But still, the consequences of their actions would still ripple though time in monumental ways (which is an idea I don't love, but I'm willing to take one for the world). This is what you do with unimaginable fame and fortune; you go ahead and do your best to leave the world better than you found it. Let's be honest, it is everybody's civil duty as children of the planet. In their unique position in society and the world stage, however, it is a heinous act to remain quiet when the world and its people are screaming for help. Sorry, images or your "perfect" asses and breasts just aren't enough. We need more, some of us want less, and a select few of us want nothing at all.

3) They make self-hate look beautiful; I am not talking, Brooke Shields-beautiful, I'm talking Las Vegas Strip-beautiful.* Here's where things get tricky, they know what they used to look like, and they also know how they went from normal-looking to hot enough to incite attention. Spoiler alert: it's disgusting amounts of money, which their fans don't have, and they fucking know it. So, they are selling a fragile world an unachievable, disgusting something. Their lives/actions scream to us words so tragic; you are ugly, you are not good enough, change yourself, money buys happiness, fame is everything, look at your phone more, look at me even more, indulge, indulge some more, post your most intimate selfies online for the world to see. . . don't worry, society does not still behave unkindly to women/people expressing in this manner. And don't forget to purchase my latest lipstick and eye shadow palettes. Thus, in a world where the bar is ever so low, they remain the lowest.

4) One of them, some thing called Kylie, tried to trademark "Kylie" as brand. Motherfucker, nah. Now this, you most certainly cannot have. Kylie is, like, a name. . . and, like, a lot of people are named Kylie. . . you didn't think you were the only one, did you? Whatevs, Lips, listen up, as far as famous Kylies go, the only Kylie that matters is the one and only Kylie Minogue. Learn it, live it, love it, bitch. Whatever the fuck you accomplish in your whole miserable/entitled life will never truly amount to anything (in ways that truly matter). This is arguably your one constant trouble; in a world of Can't Get You Out of My Head, Slow, All the Lovers, Red Blooded Woman, and Love At First Sight, you are nothing more than trendy makeup, and makeup tends to go out of style.

5) They are ugly (hey, it's a fair shot since their entire empire is built atop the skeletons of society's idea of beauty). Sure, they bought looks with their 'hard' earned cash, and sure, those looks have made me stare longer than I care to admit on more than one occasion. . . they are still ugly. They represent one of humanity's worst traits; infinite greed. So, Kardash/nners, while you all are cruising the most beautiful corners of our planet on one of your many private yachts, the world is on fire. And it doesn't appear to matter that none of you will live long enough to enjoy the last of your riches, nor will any of your children (even if the world remains for (hopefully) a long time, there's that inescapable truth that, when it comes to the time we have here on earth to enjoy earthly possessions, the limit does exist. 'But what about their legacy?' one may argue, but there is no legacy. We are living historic moments, and outside of Sephora, that 'legacy' is utterly inconsequential. There is nothing more to take. . . it all seems to be slipping through our collective fingers. . . and what these individuals seem to want is. . . more? That's my true beef with each of these grossly glorified social media influencers. That is, each of them fails to understand the causation of their everythingness; we, the people of the world, lost our footing, and in our most vulnerable moment, we made them famous. Kindness would be an appropriate way to say thank you –– it may not always be expected from any of them, nor is it something they owe to anyone or anything. It's just that they way they move through life is so ugly, it transcends ideas of physical appearance. And goddamn you all, you're all so unpleasant to watch.

xo,

a feisty Queen

* This is not a race thing, it's a natural/unaltered beauty thing, or what social science refers to as bilateral symmetry. So, if the wrong person (an overly sensitive person in relation to certain words and the ideas they may or may not convey) were to find my words and attempt to go full Kanye on me, maybe don't.

Palate cleanser: feel free to listen to the playlist I made and was listening to while I was designing the graphic you see above. It was Saturday, December 21, 2019, and on this day, I consumed a lot of Mexican candy. It is my attempt to reconnect with the beautiful of my past.

#kim kardashain west #kardashiansisters

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cassandraclare · 6 years

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Queen of Air and Darkness snippet: Kit and Ty

fashfoshah84 said: I have a question about QUAAD, it concerns Tiberius. I know that Livvy’s death is a shock to all the Blackthorns especially Ty — I don’t know if it’s a spoiler to say will he go off the rail and do things that he will regret?

I know why you’re asking! I’ve seen quite a few comments regarding what we learn about Kit and Ty in the chapter sampler that was given out at Bookcon. The whole sampler will be online soon, but for the interested, here’s the part of Chapter Three that features Kit, Ty, and Ty’s possible future plans . . .

MANY SPOILERS!

Kit stood and watched the smoke rising in the distance through the window of the room he shared with Ty.

At least, he assumed he shared the room with Ty. His bag was here, tossed into a corner, and nobody had ever bothered to tell him whether he was supposed to be in a different room. He’d gotten dressed in the bathroom that morning and emerged to find Ty pulling his T-shirt on over his head. His Marks seemed unusually black, probably because his skin was so pale. He looked so delicate—Kit had to glance away from the shape of his shoulder blades, the fragility of his spine. How could he look like that and be strong enough to fight demons?

Now Ty was downstairs, with the rest of his family. People tended to cook when someone died and Shadowhunters were no exception. Someone was probably making a casserole. A demon casserole. Kit leaned his head against the cold glass of the window.

There was a time he could have run, Kit thought. He could have run and left the Shadowhunters behind, lost himself in the underground world of Shadow Markets. Been like his father, not part of any world, existing between them.

In the reflection of the window glass, Kit saw the bedroom door open and Ty come in. He was still wearing his mourning clothes, though he’d taken off the jacket and was just in a long sleeve T-shirt. And Kit knew it was too late to run, that he cared about these people now, and specifically Ty.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Ty sat down on the bed and started unlacing his shoes. “I wanted to talk to you.”

The door was still slightly open and Kit could hear voices coming from the kitchen downstairs. Helen’s, Dru’s, Emma’s, Julian’s. Diana had gone back to her own house. Apparently she lived in a weapons store or something like that. She’d gone back to get some kind of tool she thought could fish the splinters out of Julian’s bleeding hands.

Ty’s hands were fine, but he’d been wearing gloves. Kit had seen Julian’s when he’d gone to rinse them out at the sink, and they’d looked like shrapnel had blown into his palms. Emma had stood nearby looking worried, but Julian had said he didn’t want an iratze, that it would just heal the skin closed over the bits of wood. His voice had sounded so flat, Kit had barely recognized it.

“I know how this is going to sound,” Kit said, turning so his back was against the cold glass. Ty was hunched over, and Kit caught the gleam of gold at his neck. “But you’re not acting the way I expected.”

Ty kicked his boots off. “Because I climbed up the pyre?”

“No, that was kind of actually the most expected thing you did,” said Kit. “I just . . .”

“I did it to get this,” Ty said, and put his hand to his throat. Kit recognized the gold chain and the slim disk of metal attached to it: Livvy’s locket, the one he’d helped her put on before the Council meeting. It had a circlet of the family thorns on the front, and she had told him Julian had added an etching to the back: a pair of crossed sabres, Livvy’s weapon.

Kit vividly remembered her holding her hair aside as he fastened the clasp, and the smell of her perfume. His stomach lurched.

“Livvy’s necklace,” he said. “I mean, I guess that makes sense. I just thought you would . . .”

“Cry?” Ty didn’t look angry, but the intensity in his gray eyes had deepened. He was still holding the pendant. “‘Everybody is supposed to cry. But that’s because they accept that Livvy is dead. But I don’t. I don’t accept it.”

“What?”

“I’m going to get her back,” said Ty.

Kit sat down heavily on the windowsill. “How are you going to do that?”

Ty let go of the necklace and took his phone out of his pocket. “These were on Julian’s phone,” he said. “He took them when he was in the library with Annabel. They’re photos of the pages of the Black Volume of the Dead.” He looked at Kit with a worried frown. “Will you come and sit down next to me so you can see them?”

Kit wanted to say no; he couldn’t say it. He wanted this not to be happening, but it was. When he sat down next to Ty on the bed, the mattress sagged, and he knocked against Ty’s elbow accidentally. Ty’s skin felt hot against his, as if the other boy had a fever.

It had never crossed his mind that Ty was lying or wrong, and he didn’t seem to be either. After fifteen years with Johnny Rook, Kit was pretty familiar with what bad spell books were like and this one looked decidedly evil. Spells in cramped handwriting littered the pages, along with creepy sketches of corpses crawling out of the grave, screaming faces, and charred skeletons.

Ty wasn’t looking at the photos like they were creepy, though; he was looking at them like they were the Holy Grail. “This is the most powerful spell book for bringing back the dead that’s ever existed,” he said. “That’s why it didn’t matter if they burned Livvy’s body. With spells like these she can be brought back whole no matter what happened to her, no matter how long—” He broke off with a shuddering breath. “But I don’t want to wait. I want to start as soon as we get back to Los Angeles.”

“Didn’t Malcolm kill a lot of people to bring Annabel back?” said Kit.

“Correlation, not causation, Watson,” said Ty. “The simplest way to do necromancy is with death energy. Life for death, basically. But there are other sources of energy. I would never killanyone.” He made a face that was probably supposed to be scornful but was actually just cute.

“I don’t think Livvy would want you to do necromancy,” Kit said.

Ty put his phone away. “I don’t think Livvy would want to be dead.”

Kit felt the words like a punch to the chest, but before he could reply, there was a commotion downstairs. He and Ty ran to the top of the stairwell, Ty in his stocking feet, and looked down into the kitchen.

Zara Dearborn’s Spanish friend, Manuel, was there, wearing the uniform of a Gard officer and a smirk. He was shrugging, and Kit leaned forward more to see who he was talking to. He caught sight of Julian leaning against the kitchen table, his face expressionless. The others were ranged around the kitchen—Emma looked furious, and Cristina had her hand on the other girl’s arm as if to hold her back.

“Really?” Helen said furiously. “You couldn’t wait until the day after our sister’s funeral to drag Emma and Jules to the Gard?”

Manuel shrugged, clearly indifferent. “It has to be now,” he said. “The Consul insists.”

“What’s going on?” Aline said. “You’re talking about my mother, Manuel. She wouldn’t just demand to see them without a good reason.”

“It’s about the Mortal Sword,” Manuel said. “Is that a good enough reason for all of you?”

Ty tugged on Kit’s arm, pulling him away from the stairs. They moved down the upstairs hallway, the voices in the kitchen receding but still urgent.

“Do you think they’ll go?” Kit said.

“Emma and Jules? They have to. The Consul’s asking,” said Ty. “But it’s her, not the Inquisitor, so it’ll be all right.” He leaned in toward Kit, whose back was against the wall; he smelled like a campfire. Kit realized it was probably sap from the pyre wood, and his stomach lurched again. “I can do this without you. Bring back Livvy, I mean,” he said. “But I don’t want to. Sherlock doesn’t do things without Watson.”

“Did you tell anyone else?”

“No.” Ty had pulled the sleeves of his shirt down over his hands and was worrying at the fabric with his fingers. “I know it has to be a secret. People wouldn’t like it, but when Livvy comes back, they’ll be happy and they won’t care.”

“Better to ask forgiveness than permission,” Kit said, feeling dazed.

“Yes.” Ty wasn’t looking directly at Kit—he never did—but his eyes lit up hopefully; in the dim light of the hallway, the gray in them was so pale it looked like tears. Kit thought of Ty sleeping, how he’d slept the whole day of Livvy’s death and into the night, and the way Kit had watched him sleep in terror of what would happen when he awoke.

Everyone had been terrified. Ty would fall apart, they’d thought. Kit remembered Julian standing over Ty as he slept, one hand stroking his brother’s hair, and he’d been praying—Kit didn’t even know Shadowhunters prayed, but Julian definitely had been. Ty would crumble in a world without his sister, they’d all thought; he’d fall away to ashes just like Livvy’s body.

And now he was asking Kit for this, saying he didn’t want to do it without him, and what if Kit said no and Ty crumbled from the pressure of trying to do it alone? What if Kit took away his last hope and he fell apart because of it?

“You need me?” Kit asked slowly.

Ty nodded. “Yes.”

“Then,” Kit said, knowing already that he was making a huge mistake, “I’ll help you.”

#kit herondale #ty blackthorn #qoaad #queen of air and darkness #tda

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winterroth · 6 years

Text

Extended QOAD snippet with Kit and Ty

Kit stood and watched the smoke rising in the distance through the window of the room he shared with Ty.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Ty sat down on the bed and started unlacing his shoes. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Ty kicked his boots off. “Because I climbed up the pyre?”

“No, that was kind of actually the most expected thing you did,” said Kit. “I just …”

Kit vividly remembered her holding her hair aside as he fastened the clasp, and the smell of her perfume. His stomach lurched.

“Livvy’s necklace,” he said. “I mean, I guess that makes sense. I just thought you would …”